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grelitia-fam · 2 years

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How the Wayne’s reacted to meeting Cassandra’s girlfriend (Me) and also the gifts I brought them-

Bruce Wayne-

He was pretty nice. He told me that as long as I treated Cassandra right and made her happy, we would have no problems. He even asked Cass my allergies so he could plan the meals accordingly. It was hard to get a gift for a BILLIONAIRE, but he seemed to like the fruit basket-

Dick Grayson-

He was very excited. Apparently, I’ve been the first person to ever beat him at Star Wars trivia. He said he wanted to meet me in a week for a rematch. He really like the playing cards and chess set I got him.

Jason Todd-

Pretty chill. Asked we what I read and if I wrote. We had a long discussion about grammar and the best writing tactics. He offered to teach me Spanish. He appreciated the pack of rare novels I got him, and even offered to pay me for them. I said no but I still found 300$ in my Paypall.

Tim Drake-

He shared his coffee maker with me, so that’s a win. He asked me the stereotypical questions, how we met, how long we’ve been together, etc. He also said he’d been willing to help me if I’m struggling in anything. He said he’d out the coffee mixtures I got him to use, as well as the new laptop.

Stephanie Brown-

She gave me a semi-tour of the mansion, told me if I ever wanted to move in there was always room. She also admitted that she was the one who ordered that giant load from my shop just so I could have extra spending money, which made me glad I choose to see her some purple dresses.

Damian Wayne-

I knew he would be tough to please, so I brought a basket with all the kittens in it to hopefully a good impression. He didn’t say much to my face, just leaning down to pet them, but Cass told me I had his approval. I decided to take the risk and get him a peacock… I almost thought I saw a smile.

Duke Thomas-

Listen, this dude is a sweetheart. He ate the majority of the baked goods I gave him, and quietly asked if he could have more the next time I visited. He’s about Christie’s age I think, so I offered to tutor him in literature.

Harper and Cullen row-

I put these two together because they never left each other’s side. Harper was pretty open about it, while Cullen took a little convincing. They both liked the art supplies I gave them, and Harper asked if I wanted to meet again to draw with them.

Helena Wayne/Bertinellie-

Are they twins or something? No clue. I got them both gift cards because of last minute shopping- they still seem to like and respect me.

Luke Fox-

Also a sweetheart. Challenged me to a few rounds of basketball while asking me questions. I lost most of them, but it was good game. When I gave him a ball pump, he pat me in the back and thanked me.

Barbara Gordon-

Lovely woman. Said she’s ‘grateful that Cass is dating an empath’. How did that woman know?! Anyways, she loved the headphones and wheelchair bag, so that’s great.

Carrie Kelly-

Really energetic kid. Cass told me she wanted to get into sewing, so I bought her a beginners kit and taught her the basics. Safe to say, I might be her favorite non-sibling.

And of course..

Alfred Pennyworth-

Sweet old man. If anyones hurts him I will personally kill them. No one deserves him. I brought him some herbs I grew and he seemed to appreciate them. He called me “Young Master” as first. When I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that, he didn’t even blink before calling me “Young Lass” instead. Sweet old man.

Safe to say, I’m pretty much welcome back anytime. Apparently, there’s still some family I haven’t met that just couldn’t make it, but I’ll see them at what Mr. Wayne called “Introduction part 2”. I’m glad it all worked out fine.

#only in gotham #onlyingotham #dc roleplay #dc rp #dc rp open #only in gotham rp #gothamite #gotham city #gotham

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hoesamo · 9 months

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Altar of the Cult [Part 6 FINAL]

After fighting the mummies, Yuji is excited for this new boon to his blade.

Tlatoani disparages his servants who lost, but Fafnir doesn’t care to keep hearing him speak. It’s about time he’s put down for good, and Gordon agrees, ready to finally avenge his friend. Tlatoani finally attacks them, proudly declaring he won’t die thanks to his Immortal Emperor’s blessing. Thus, our boss fight begins.

After the battle, Yuji realizes they’ve won, while Tlatoani can feel his strength waning away, despite being immortal. As this plays out, Meteor appears, and Tlatoani asks where he’s been. He doesn’t respond.

Tlatoani urges him to tear the group to pieces for the Immortal Emperor, and Meteor asks “Isn’t there already a suitable sacrifice for the Immortal Emperor here? Someone favored by the Immortal Emperor, full of resentment and negative magic.” With that, Meteor strikes Tlatoani down.

Yuji is shocked to see Meteor attack his (presumably) friend. Tlatoani is panicking as he asks why his body is collapsing. Wasn’t his immortality supposed to be eternal? He also asks why he defied his control over him, which shouldn’t be possible. His blackened eyes should evidence of his power over him. Meteor answers about his blackened eyes, by casting a spell to reveal his are back to normal. Tlatoani is dumbfounded and shocked, and asks if he’s actually been like this since the beginning.

Meteor explains the mechanics of his soul-binding magic, using the dagger of the Black Star he just picked up. He was actually familiar with his type of magic, and so it was no problem for him to solve it. Flabbergasted, Tlatoani asks who exactly is he, but Meteor just apologizes to him for his deception. All of this was for reviving the Immortal Emperor. He asks for forgiveness, and tells Tlatoani to sleep, stabbing him again. With that, the Mad Priest crumbles away, dying afraid of his own end and begging for help.

And now, Nekros The Immortal Emperor has been revived.

Fafnir can feel the magical power from his Dragon’s Body coming from the entity. Gordon wasn’t expecting any of this to happen, but Gordon knows he was an emperor that was once worshipped in an ancient kingdom. Fafnir recognizes him to be the “Nolifeking” from several centuries ago.

(I’m just gonna call him Nekros from here on out, bc Nolifeking is simply too goofy a name and I will lose focus from laughing)

Nekros doesn’t yet respond, but Yuji’s scared shitless. His power seems to be different from that Ancestor. Meteor congratulates Nekros on his arrival, but this isn’t a “Star Phase.” He claims that he will guide him to the appropriate vessel and throne for him, and asks if he’ll be given the honor of such a task. Silently, Nekros disappears immediately with Meteor. Yuji’s just grateful that they’re at least gone for now.

While Yuji’s wondering what’s going to happen, Gordon finds a ring from Tlatoani’s ashes. He thinks about his old friend. He’s moved that his friend still kept it, even when his physical body was possessed. He asks him if he’s avenged him properly, and hopes he can at least rest in peace now.

Fafnir’s pretty pissed his Dragon Body has been hijacked by the Immortal Emperor. He has to catch up to it. He needs recover his dragon body, but before he can continue, everything interrupted by tremors. It looks like the dungeon is collapsing.

The group rushes out of the dungeon. Fafnir’s panting heavily after their escape, Gordon offers him some leftover herbs to help him recover. He even encourages him to rest. Looks like we used up our magic potion to heal Fafnir. Yuji asks if Tlatoani is truly dead. Gordon thinks so, but now he’s more concerned about the clearly more dangerous being that’s just been summoned. Still, now that Tlatoani is actually dead, then that means the people cursed at the castle are likely free now.

Yuji’s stoked to hear this, and Gordon says their next stop should the be King’s Castle. Yuji is excited, but Fafnir’s pretty quiet. Yuji’s curious as to why, but realizes he’s likely still hung up on not having his Dragon body back. Gordon invites Fafnir to come to his bar, since he doesn’t have anywhere to go. Gordon formally thanks Fafnir and Yuji for helping him.

Before he retires for the night, Gordon takes a moment to stare at the entrance of the collapsing dungeon.

Altar of the Cult [END]

#fkare #REALLY LOVED THIS FOR GORDON AND FAFNIR

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haltandcatchfiretothemax · 4 years

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FEMSLASH FEBRUARY 2021 #21: In which Donna gives Cameron a gift

[CN: food and eating mentions; alcohol mentions]

It was early in the evening on a breezy summer Friday toward the end of June, and as Cameron pulled up to Donna’s house she wondered, not for the first time, if she was ready to be done with commuting and splitting her time evenly between the trailer and Donna’s house. She turned off the ignition, grabbed the bunch of wild flowers she’d picked from her own garden patch, got out of the car. Or at least, maybe it’s time for a break? she thought to herself as she walked up to Donna’s front door. I’ve been going back and forth for a year…maybe I could just stay here for the summer…or even just for this month? Or the next few weeks?

Donna had left the door open for her, and Cameron let herself in, expecting to find Donna listening to music and maybe even dancing in the den or maybe the bedroom, happy and energized from her weekly manicure and lunch outing, buzzing with news from Tanya or Diane, as well as ideas for what they should do that evening and later that weekend. Instead, Donna was in the kitchen, in a black knee-length full slip and apron, hair half up in rollers, behind the stove, which was covered in simmering pots and pans. Cameron’s eye immediately went to the table, which was set with Donna’s good plates and candlesticks, and an empty vase waiting for Cameron’s wildflowers.

“Honey!” Donna called out. “You’re home! Just give me a second and I’ll fetch your slippers and bring you a gin and tonic!”

The very idea of gin made Cameron go ugh. She went to the dining room, and turned around. “What is all this? Did we get married? Is this our anniversary that I forgot? Did I miss something?”

Donna chuckled at her, stirring one of the pots in front of her. “Well, it is almost the 4th of July, which is sort of an anniversary for us.”

Cameron nodded. “I’ll allow it.”

“I figured,” Donna said, checking one of the other pots, “that we could get a jump on celebrating, since we’ll be preoccupied with the 4th, on the 4th, and all.”

Cameron sighed and looked over at Donna, hit with a wave of affection for her. “Okay, Boss.” She went up to the kitchen island, and said, “You look very alluring in your slip.”

“Thank you!” Donna said brightly. “Are you wondering if I’m planning on dressing up, and if that means that you’ll have to dress for dinner as well?”

“You can read my mind. Just like a perfect wife should,” Cameron joked.

Donna shrugged. “I was gonna put a blouse and shorts back on after I was done cooking. The slip was just so that you’d have something fun to look at.”

“Mission accomplished,” Cameron grinned. “I’m a little grimy from the drive, though, so. Meet you back here after I get the flowers in some water and shower?”

Donna grinned back at her. “Sounds like a plan.”

***

An hour later, the flowers were in the vase, the candles were lit, and dinner was served. Cameron and Donna enjoyed their eggplant parmesan, spinach, and angel hair pasta with two glasses of one of Donna’s favorite red wines, and a lot of happy chatter about how their weeks had been, what the girls were up to, and their weekend plans.

When they were done, Donna got up and took their plates. As she walked them back to the kitchen, she said, “I made some red velvet cake for dessert! I know that you prefer the store bought, but, what can I say, I woke up in a mood today.”

Cameron, who was in the bad habit of overeating but only when Donna or Bos cooked for her, groaned, “That sounds great and all but I might literally barf if I try to eat more right now?”

Donna put away their leftovers, and then she returned to the table with two black velvet jewelry boxes, and set them down in front of Cameron. “Then maybe you can open these first?”

Wide-eyed, Cameron stared at the boxes with undisguised terror.

“Don’t get all excited,” Donna huffed. “Neither of these boxes contains an engagement ring, the only engagement ring in this house is the one that Gordon gave me and that I refuse to ever part with.“

Cameron looked at her uncertainly. “And one of them,” Donna continued, “isn’t even jewelry.” She picked up the smaller box and held it out toward Cameron.

Cameron accepted it slowly, like it might pop open like a trick snake nut can. She opened it, and saw that it had a set of keys inside.

“I know, I know,” Donna said, sinking back into her chair. “You don’t have a key to your trailer for me. What if that’s okay though? What if the lesson the last 15 years have been trying to teach us is that reciprocity and being a good partner doesn’t have to mean everything is even steven all the time? I don’t need the key to your trailer. I know that I’m welcome there. And I’m also okay with usually calling before I come over.”

Cameron frowned at her. “Are you sure?”

“I’m positive,” Donna smiled at her. She pushed the other box toward Cameron.

Warily, Cameron picked it up, and opened the top. Inside, there were anodized silver pendants, on what looked like two anodized silver chains. One pendant was a small silver compass, and the other was a small anchor. Smiling sadly, Cameron said, “So I’ll always be able to find my way back to you?”

Gently, Donna said, “Or to wherever. You’ll never be completely lost, though. You’ll always have some help figuring out what direction to go in.”

“I don’t have anything to give you,” Cameron sighed.

With the same sad sort of smile, Donna said, “You might not have any jewelry for me, but that’s okay, because I already have all the jewelry I need. And also, my house is full of plants and fresh flowers and I have a garden full of fresh herbs and lavender out back, and I have homemade breads and hummus and preserves in the kitchen because of you. I get how that might not sound like a fair trade to some people,” she said, leaning forward and resting her elbow on the table. “ But I think it is. I think it’s more than fair.” She sighed, and then she said, “My house doesn’t feel empty the way it used to. That sounds terrible, I know. The girls used to live here. It didn’t feel empty because of them or anything that they did wrong, it felt that way because of me. But I don’t feel like that anymore. Now I wake up every day and I think, ‘Maybe things will actually be okay? Yeah, I think so.’”

Eyes starting to glisten, Cameron closed the jewelry box, and set it back down on the table. She looked back at Donna, and said, “Yeah. I know what you mean.” When Donna smiled at her, Cameron said, “I love you.”

“I know,” Donna said, wiping a tear of her own off her face. “I love you too.”

Unable to resist, Cameron asked, “Last and best?”

Donna’s smile grew broader, and brighter. “You know it.”

#LAST ONE BBYS!#extra thanks for reading and following along this year because i have been running on fumes #and i feel like it shows tbh!#femslash february #femslash february 2021 #cameron howe #donna clark #donna emerson

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silenceinthenull · 4 years

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Witchery (part 1?)

It started with a package. It didn't have a return address and really just showed up one day on his doorstep. At first he was hesitant to open it, but Joshua got curious and started using his puppy dog eyes and he couldn't resist. He carefully cut open the box to find what looked like an old book. Joshua, being disappointed it wasn't anything more exciting, went back to his toys as if it had never been there in this first place. He would chuckle then at his son's short attention span (something he recognized that the boy got from him) and looked the book over.

It was old. So old it was probably entirely hand written. He had never been very good at reading other people's handwriting but he was curious. He opened the book to find the phrase "may ye not use the wisdoms in this tome for misdeeds or mischief, lest ye fall prey to the folly of man."

He was very intrigued and started reading. It appeared to be a witch's spell book? He thought the spells and stories within were intriguing. He'd never seen an ancient writer use this style, but then again, he didn't study history or literature.

He found the spells and potions so intriguing he finished the book in a day, and read it over and over during the next couple weeks. By the next month he had the book memorized and was genuinely curious about witches and witchcraft, wanting to know more about what they were supposedly able to do. He looked online for more books and spells, finding very little, but he didn't mind, he had fun learning.

The first time he tried one of the spells it was a minor luck spell. It was easy to do really. All he had to do was "bathe an object of good fortune in the light of the full moon and water holding crystals of quartz." He didn't notice much after trying it until his son came home one day with a small, weak, feeble black kitten. Gordon rushed it to the vet just in time to save the poor thing. The vet constantly reaffirmed that he was very lucky that he got the kitten the help it needed when he did.

In the end Joshua named the poor thing "lucky" and Gordon couldn't bare to part from the sweet thing. Lucky went everywhere with Gordon, playing with him happily and watching over Joshua in the night. She was an excellent companion and a dear friend by the time Gordon tried another spell. This time it had been just for fun. A spell to bring about a harvest moon. Gordon "grind the bones of a creature lost to nature's cycle and spread them on the earth on the night of a new moon." Lucky was kind enough to provide several small rodents for grinding so Gordon preformed it, thinking it wouldn't work, but it would fertilize his garden at least so he figured it wouldn't hurt anyone. The next full moon was in fact a harvest moon and Gordon realized what happened.

Being ever the man of science he couldn't accept it for the pattern it was without a third instance, so he thought back to the book for a spell he could use to get immediate results... he thought of one...

He gathered the supplies the next day and on the second night of the harvest moon he performs the ritual. He makes a circle with chalk and candle wax, surrounding the entire thing in salt just to be safe, he carefully lit the pure white candles and laid out the black quartz in the proper position before backing up and quietly whispering his call.

He didn't expect a response. He didn't expect anything, but he heard it regardless and it terrified him.

"... huh?"

Gordon looked up at the man(?) Before him in shock.

"Bro, why'd you summon me? I was taking a nice nap between gaming sessions... had to wake a bro up..."

The part that confused him the most was his outfit. It was a security guard's outfit. He expected something more... animalistic... when he decided to "summon a guardian."...

The man was unaffected by the salt as he walked right up to Gordon and looked him in the eyes.

"Got a passport?"

"... what?"

"Passport. Do you have a passport."

"Uh... yeah... inside..."

The man turns and abruptly heads for the house and Gordon runs over to stop him, not wanting this stranger near his son. They argue for a moment before the man agrees to wait outside for the passport. When Gordon goes and brings it back to him he only gives it a quick glance before passing it back and disappearing entirely... well that was strange.

After figuring out magic was real, and that he could reliably use it, Gordon took to practicing in small ways during the day, drawing magic circles in notebooks, quietly mumbling incantations and mixing weak potions, though he never tested them on himself, only ever on plants. (they were either good fertilizers or herbicides. There is no in between... poor poor cactus...) he never did any of this together unless he was trying to do something specific.

One day, as Gordon was cleaning and cooking and tending to his new herb garden before his son got home he decided it was becoming too much. He started thinking of an incantation to summon a "helper" as he made his son an after daycare snack and without even thinking started mumbling, making the necessary circle absentmindedly with his son's food. Unlike summoning the man before this was very flashy, with sudden winds whipping away some of his son's chips and the loud snap of sharp jaws slamming down on them in a flash of light. Gordon stared at the massive dog in front of him as it snatched up his son's lunch and licked the plate (and his fingers) clean... oh right. The spell to summon a helper involved a sacrifice of food, a simple circle and a soothingly quiet incantation... he really should look back through the book next time.

"Uh... hi..."

The dog stared for a moment before barking and wagging its tail happily.

"Are you the helper big guy? I just needed some help around the house..."

The dog perks up and quickly gets to work moving furniture and sweeping the floors with it's big fluffy tail. Gordon is shocked it understood him, but not complaining as he makes his son, and the new friend, some more food. The dog works quickly and Gordon is Surprisingly pleased with the results. It straightened everything, dusted and swept all on it's own and Gordon happily pampered it with pets and some extra deli meat with it's delicious rewards.

Just as Gordon was about to head out the dog's ears perked up and it ran out back barking loudly. Gordon, worried for the creature followed it out, shocked and terrified when he saw the fucking hell portal in his back yard! He rushed over to the dog and grabbed it's collar before it could jump in, only to be dragged in as well. Gordon closed his eyes as the passing scenery made his head spin and his stomach churn.

Suddenly, the dog was gone and Gordon felt himself falling. He tried to open his eyes only for his incomprehensible surroundings to make him nearly vomit. He slammed his eyes tight just before he felt something grab the back of his shirt and pull.

"You're not supposed to be here bro. Don't got the right clearance."

He couldn't bare to open his eyes again, but he knew he recognized that voice from somewhere. He felt something dragging him for a moment before he was gentle set down in some grass and his eyes shot open just in time to see the hell portal closing in front of him...

What the fuck just happened... he had no Time to think about it as his alarm to go get Joshua went off and he rushed inside to get his keys.

#hlvrai #benrey #gordon freeman #sunkist #joshua freeman #fic #witchery

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urbanteeth · 5 years

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Fluffcember 2019

Hosted by: @paper-shield-and-wooden-sword @siarven @raiswanson

Notes: ay I’m lowkey late in this but! It’s here and it’s done! Some angst but it’s in general v Soft and uhh I’m actually pretty proud of it!

Character: Oliver West

Word Count: 1193

Boats & Birds // Gregory And The Hawk

The cold wind nipped at Oliver’s nose and cheeks and frosted his breath as it left his body in a deep sigh of contentment. Hands tucked into his pockets, he strolled down the sidewalk under a sky still existing in the liminal blue of twilight. Autumn still crowned the trees in gold and crimson but hints of snow powdered days tip-toed in on cloudy white paws, lengthening the dark of night bit by bit as season slipped away. Already, lights twinkled from windows and wrapped around mailboxes. The air of festivity smelled like burning wood smoke trailing lazily from chimneys, hummed quietly in bursts of dizzying excitement as sleepy families stirred from their warm beds. The holidays brought as much chaos as they did rest and the job always tasted so much more bitter in the winter.

Becoming jaded, detaching himself from the job, was not a shield he wanted to raise. But sometimes, sometimes, the pavement stained red too deeply and the final, terrible, anguished plea stared back from eyes too much like glass and the gut-wrenching cries of the unfortunate first to get the news haunted his mind when the silence was too void-like black, consuming. Sometimes, he welcomed the tiny seed of misanthropy that settled roots in his chest.

But always, Oliver never wanted to cultivate it. He couldn’t bring himself to peacefully coexist with the weed that sprung from those tiny roots. Oh, it would be easy, so easy, to let it grow as it would. And yet, he’d seen too many hollow eyes, some living with hardly a distinction from the dead, to know better, to grow instead an active fear of the yawning, hungry void.

So, when the days shortened and the cold winds descended from the mountains, howling their lonesome despair, and the job began to look a little meaner, he’d do a little gardening of the soul.

Weaving his way around an army of potted plants, herbs, a handful of fruit trees, he felt the warmth wrapping the tiny house before he even pushed open the door made rough from paint chipping off in big, coral pink flakes.

Immediately, arms pulled him close and squeezed, Korean permeated with joy filling his ears, tugging an ear to ear grin from his lips.

“Hi, momma,” he said with a laugh, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

She gathered his hands in her own, placing hers over his to defrost his fingers. He stooped a little lower for her to press a kiss against his forehead. “Oh, let me look at you!” She cupped his face, her hands rough and calloused but oh so warm against his skin, taking in his smile, cheeks red from the cold. “Just as I thought,” she said gravely, patting his cheeks. “Handsome as ever. Let’s get you warmed up.”

“Aw, you know I learned from the best.” He followed her to the small table pushed up against one of the big windows overviewing the town’s massive mirror-like lake. Oliver settled into one of the chairs, his mother disappearing back into the kitchen and reappearing with two steaming mugs of fragrant tea. She pushed one in his direction before taking a sip from her own.

“Talk to me, Ollie. What’s wrong?”

Oliver looped his fingers around the mug’s handle and cradled it in his hands, breathing in the spicy scent of ginger. “What do you mean?” He tilted his head, careful to keep his tone light and cheery.

His mother sat across from him and set her mug to the side, hands folding together, her joy at seeing him diminishing into a soft worry playing over her features. “Oh come on, Ollie! What kind of mother would I be if I didn’t know when something was bothering my son?”

He set the mug down, hesitant, half-torn. For a moment he imagined letting the ugliness in his chest spill like blood. But he couldn’t do that to her, his loving momma who he knew worried deeply about him every time he was called out to a scene, who would stay up with him without ever asking why, who both cried with him when he found himself falling, falling, falling and helped him pick the pieces off the floor.Tough as she was, he wouldn’t allow it to plague her as it did him. “I...I can’t really talk about it.”

But he knew from the way his hurt reflected in her eyes that she knew. He didn’t have to say it. “Does it have to do with your work?”

Silence grew and stretched between them and Oliver found himself staring at his hands, unsure at how to fill it. “It’s just…” he began, then stopped. How could he begin to give the ugliness a name when he himself barely recognized the inner workings? “It hurts, momma,” he finally breathed, unable to keep the quiver out of his voice, “to know people can– can do… all of that.”

“Oh, Ollie.” She slipped his hand in between hers, squeezing gently. And in a moment as quick and sharp as a snap of someone’s fingers, he was 17 again, sitting at the same table, his mother running a thumb softly over bruised knuckles. He traced the wood grain with his eyes. If he looked at her, he’d be truly in danger of crying.

“How can people do such horrible things?”

She sighed. “Oh...I wish I could have an answer for that, Oliver. Some people simply choose to be cruel.” She paused and ran her thumb over his knuckles. “But, here’s what I do know. You, sweetheart? You and that big heart of yours? The world thrives because of people like you.”

“Do you...do you think so?” He swallowed around the lump forming in his throat.

“I might not have a fancy college degree, but this I know to be true. Every day you choose not to be cruel is a day you have already won. Don’t ever let anyone tell you this heart of yours doesn’t make a difference, my son.”

He blinked, vision blurring from watery tears threatening to come spilling forward. He cleared his throat, wrestling back the tears, the corners of his mouth upturning into a smile instead. “Thank you.”

She gave his hand a final pat before releasing him. “Well? Are you hungry?”

“Oh, man. For your cooking? Always.”

“Think you can handle making an egg this time, hmm?” Her eyes glittered with an amused light.

He scoffed, sniffing and wiping his eyes on his sleeve. “I’m hurt. I’m the Gordon Ramsey of cooking eggs.”

Together, they fell into routine, every step and every breath and every quip and laugh weaving into a blanket of familiar comfort. The ease of being together, their work one born from love, the feeling of finally, finally coming home bloomed like summer in his chest. Outside, a low, rising sun gilded the sky in peach and gold and pink.

“I love you, momma.”

“I love you too, Ollie.”

And sometimes, the world was simply that: a bowl of rice, the scent of cooking meat, and eggs cracked and sizzling in a pan, all while outside, the day began anew.

TTW Taglist (click here to be added): @cluelessbuttercup @dogwrites @goldfinvhs @tragedyshow @tenacious-scripturient @diwrites @mirror-of-too-many-books @isanyonetoknow @makealltheboymoosegowahhh @waterproof-pages @velvetinewitch @wreckageofus @thewalkingnerdx @woodhouse-jay @writeouswriter @dashy-mcdasher @drist-n-dither @klywrites

#to the wolves #ch. oliver west #fluffcember #fluffcember 2019 #fluffcember2019 #yeah i cried writing this #and what about it

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katherinehorn · 6 years

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The Old Harbour

I contemplated just posting this essay without context, but it just didn't feel right. I wrote this two weeks ago and although it was a creative writing assignment for my English Literature course, it meant a lot more to me than that. The task was to write roughly 2000 words on a specific place or hour of the day or night. We were instructed to create a story by showing the reader our world rather than simply telling them about it. I think I really needed to write about how I was feeling in constructive way and this assignment definitely gave me the space to do that. But anyway, here it is:

The Old Harbour

I hate Gordon's Bay, I always have. Yes, the harbour may have a stunning view of the sea and it may lead to one of the most beautiful coastal drives in the world. But the town itself has very little aesthetic appeal. The houses are all built with strange, flat iron roofs to withstand the perpetual winds and the architecture looks as though it were designed by an unimaginative twelve year old boy. Most of the shopping centres are run down and have an appearance similar to that of a kitchen floor that had never been scrubbed clean. Even the roads take on a kind of dustiness that only just misses the notion of a charming dirt road.

The civilians here are no beauties either. The town's eclectic mix of people might seem quirky to someone else, but I have found no love for the conservative, bored or sheltered people that roam through the area. For starters, there always seemed to be too much drama over nothing. I frequently heard stories of people having children too young, or teenagers trying to run away from home, or people getting into toxic and violent relationships. Being in Gordon’s Bay was like being in a cliché soapie such as7de Laan. The adults I have met here are the kind of people who read everything in Huis Genoot, obtained all their political views from Facebook posts and lived for Saturday braais and impractical manicures. The teenagers, on the other hand, either have a nauseating resemblance to their parents or a rebellious boredom that usually lead to an interest in hard drugs that I could never quite relate to. I will admit I do not live here and I am sure there are many people who do not fall into these stereotypes. But you see, I have only ever met five people from Gordon's Bay that I actively like.

My dislike for the town, I suppose, stems from the fact that I have never met anyone who lives there, who isn’t unhappy.

However, at the same time I am deeply fascinated by this town. I love hearing stories about the group of kids who used to climb underneath the restaurants in Harbour Island to break into the hotel and about how on one occasion they were caught in the swimming pool and chased all the way to the closest suburb. Or about the woman who lived near the old harbour who used to burn herbs and perform tarot card readings. Or even the sad stories about the woman who had been beaten by her husband and left bleeding on the side of the main road where she was ignored by all passersby with the exception of two teenage boys.

The saving grace of Gordon's Bay is its beachfront. When walking along it I felt like a child, excited by each new thing and constantly finding a fresh thrill whenever I stepped inside Aladdin’s Cave or climbed down Bikini Beach wall to reach the tidal pool. The coastline was an adventure of warm water bottles, crisps and wind that smothers your face like a blind person feeling out the shape of your nose. It was a freedom that skipped over the rock pools until the coastline faded into raging waters beneath Faure Marine Drive. It was kissing a curly haired boy with a mouth dried from the sun and the salt. I spent many summer days jumping from those rocks and winding through crowds of every type of person.

Now, looking back, I wonder if I loved those days so much because of the great love I had for that curly haired boy.

My most treasured memory of the town, however, took place long after the warmth of December had dwindled away. It was the 16th of June and it had been a lazy day of unwinding at the end of the semester in front of a TV screen while my miniature schnauzer lay stretched out beside me. I was restless. I needed company and had driven for half an hour to obtain it.

My best friend lived in a glass house that lay in the very centre of Gordon's Bay. He was my only connection to the town, without him I would never have been there in June. In fact I would only have visited the town once, when I slept over at friend in 2016.

When the lights went off that day I had been sitting on his bed fiddling with his hair and trying desperately to convince him that he'd done enough studying for the day. And although I had not yet convinced him, it seemed I had convinced the universe. The power outage was a gift that nudged us to return to our coastline that I longed for so earnestly.

We decided to join our friends at the pub on Beach Road and so, with a rustle of keys and scarves, we jumped into his old Hyundai Getz and it wheezed us down the mountainside. As we turned into the usually bustling Sir Lowry Lane, a cold darkness greeted us. Much like the rest of the town, it was a street I never normally felt comfortable in. But the new darkness of the town comforted me. The sharp architecture retreated into the gloom and the noises that so often overwhelmed me scurried back to their homes. I felt my worries cease their bubbling and nestle themselves at the bottom of my stomach as I nestled into the car chair.

We stared at the pub for at least fifteen minutes when we arrived, neither one of us talking. The sign that usually flashed the words "The Dock" hung damply and barely noticeable above the small glass panes that hid the interior. We could see the dim lights of candles and cellphones dancing across the glass and hear the laughter that trickled out onto the street. With the usual blare of karaoke night missing, an eeriness trapped us inside the parking lot. It was as though we were seeing the town for the first time, as though the darkness were unveiling all the complexities that every day life glossed over. We had no wish to explore it.

Thankfully the coastline had not lost its familiarity and thus we chose to wonder down to the sand and leave the tired pub behind us. We skirted around the sea, playing between the lines the tide created as it swept in and out. But still the distractions of the world seemed too close to us and we slid back into the car and meandered further up beach road.

We parked outside the navy base and skipped down to the old harbour. Despite its strange comfort I still felt scared in the dark, there were too many shadows lurking behind empty cars and fences. So I clung to my guide, for he knew the area like the back of his hand. I trusted him wholeheartedly, for better or for worse.

He lead me round the back of the yacht club and hid me in his shadow when we noticed how it stood open. There were voices inside, Afrikaans ones, and they echoed out indistinguishably to my ears. I heard someone flipping switches irritably. We pressed on.

On the other side of the building we reached a large iron gate that was chained loosely shut. I'd never seen it before and was so irritated with its sudden appearance that I stepped out from my hiding place. They had fenced off the pier for the construction of the new desalination plant. I thought about how I had crawled through one of the construction pipes in January and about how peculiar the world had seemed inside there. The wind had funnelled so strangely through the pipe that I had thought I was going to cry at the other-worldly sound it created. It was what I'd imagined it would be like to be trapped in a void and I was terrified.

I shook the memory off and looked to my guide for a plan of action. He chuckled quietly and slid the gate open wide enough for us to sneak through. It was like the uncovering of Narnia in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

We giggled as we raced the wind across the concrete, leaping over pipes and twirling around abandoned equipment. For a while we explored the narrow landscape, crawling in between the nesting dolosse and investigating the way that the moonlight glittered over the yachts. I don't remember us talking during this time, although I'm sure we did. We always do. But that night I felt particularly connected to him in our near silence. It felt good to have someone I could be quiet around; someone with whom I could share the world but still experience it separately. I was suddenly glad for the gate; it had kept the rest of the world out.

Eventually we reached the lighthouse at the tip of the pier. It was darkest and windiest here. Not even the brightest car light could reach us. I stood silently at the edge of it, my feet slipping across the damp moss in slow motion. I watched the way the sea tumbled and rolled against the harbour and traced the path that the moon illuminated across it. I marvelled at the black and silver liquid and thought about how never-ending it was. I felt rooted to the earth in a way that I had never felt before. It was as though the slime had grown through my feet and torn out my soul so that it could be buried beneath the bellowing of the tide. Not even the winds could move me.

Even in remembering that moment it feels as though I am still staring at that water, as though I had never stopped and would never be able surrender that feeling of empty peace. But the truth is I did stop staring, I had turned around in search of the boy I love. But as I did I realised how a part of the landscape he was, he sunk into it, tumbled beneath the waves and burst into air like the chill that flew through my hair. His own wild curls echoed the endless movement of the coastline, the dryness of its summer and the uncertainty of its adventures. He could never be separated from that place; it would follow him wherever he went.

As we walked back to the car, the lights switched on and the humming of the world began again. I knew that I was slowly losing a dream that I would never be able to return to. But still, I climbed back into the car and drove towards the inevitable future. That choice will always be a mistake, for now Gordon's Bay will remain an impossible past that I will never reach and never fail to love.

✬✮✭

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thejonzone · 4 years

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Jon Writes a Year-End List

My favorite songs of 2020, alphabetically by artist

Bedouine (Margo Guryan cover)- The Hum

The original Guryan version is good but Bedouine’s take is cleaner, all the better to emphasize Guryan’s blissful songwriting. I could listen to the chords in the chorus forever.

Bob Dylan- I’ve Made Up My Mind to Give My Heart to You

It’s nice to hear Bob sing a yearning and clear-eyed love song. And the way he stretches out his words gives the whole thing a confidence that’s easy to get lost in.

Boldy James- Giant Slide

Boldy had a great year, and it’s The Price of Tea in China with Alchemist producing that stood out to me.

Empty Country- Becca

I don’t go to music festivals anymore, but listening to this album makes me dream of hearing it live, while being dehydrated, sweaty, feet hurting, holding in a p*op, a late afternoon sunburn loading. I want the whole thing!!

fawning, Rui Gabriel ft. Jack Riley- God

Toss it on the cloudy day walking playlist!

Frances Quinlan- Went to LA

Great cathartic yell in this one. Quinlan builds up a palpable tension here. It rocks.

Judy ft. Jack Dolan, jommis- Say What U Mean

You’ve got to imagine these fellas knew they had put a few catchy melodies down while trying to out-croon each other.

Kurt Vile ft. John Prine (John Prine cover)- How Lucky

A Prine acolyte with a feature from the man himself. RIP.

Lala Lala, Grapetooth- Valentine

Kind of like a slow-dance song at nightmare prom. I love the percussion and Frankel’s villainously-low voice.

Lil Durk- Street Affection

The range of emotions Durk can access and scroll through is impressive.

Miranda Winters- Little Baby Dead Bird

Scuzzy guitar and violin create a hypnotic effect in this evocative dirge. Miranda Winters is such a good singer. Check out her main band, Melkbelly-- they put out a great album this year!

Nap Eyes- Mark Zuckerberg

Two guitars: one is pointy, the other is chugging. That is the correct way to do two guitars.

Noname- Song 33

This song is 70 seconds. 70! Noname casually negates J. Cole and the song isn’t even about him. She’s so great.

Ratboys- I Go Out at Night

Julia Steiner is on her The Hours shit in this melancholic fantasy of leaving and not returning.

Rio da Yung OG, Lil Yachty- 1v1

I like how Yachty comes in on his verse! It’s been fun to see him back in action with his new Michigan friends. Rio is the star here, though. And Enrgy too.

Soccer Mommy- yellow is the color of her eyes

Sophia Allison’s delivery of “The tiny lie I told to myself is making me hollow” might be my line of the year.

Swamp Dogg- Memories

The whole of Sorry You Couldn’t Make It is great, but for Swamp Dogg, who has covered John Prine, to work with the man before he died is a special accomplishment, and we’re better off that it’s recorded.

Tall Juan- Irene

One of my favorite 2020 releases. And I’ll be a bit vulnerable here folks….when I am walking outside and this song comes on, I push my butt out a little bit and walk like I have rhythm and purpose.

Tierra Whack- Dora

I’m so excited to see what Tierra Whack does, from her beat selection to how she jumps between flow and cadence. She understands herself so well.

Non-2020-specific Music I Enjoyed, in Superlative Form

Group Vocal Performance Most Likely to Pierce Your Heartless Facade

Yesu Ka Mkwebaze

Best Song to Listen to if You are an 1850’s-era whaler in Your Feels

Mary Ann

Favorite Duet (Not Blood-Related)

Emmylou Harris and Herb Pedersen (but mostly Emmylou) create such an intricate and gorgeous melody on “If I Could Only Win Your Love”. Pedal steel heads and mandolin freaks, eat up.

Favorite Duet (Blood-related)

The Louvin Brothers- When I Stop Dreaming

Any longtime friends of the show know I’m a big fan of the singing duo The Louvin Brothers. They’ve got that golden country tone but it’s the blood harmony that turns these guys into something else entirely.

And here’s the kicker, folks. Emmylou covered When I Stop Dreaming! How coincidental for all of us reading this End of Year list…. The Louvins are my preferred version, but Emmylou, that you could help me make this connection is enough, dayenu!

Most Surprising Use of a Song in a Network TV Show

"Yama Yama" by the Yamasuki Singers, Fargo Season 2

When I was a dishwasher at St. James Cheese Co., late 2016ish, this CD was in our back of house music rotation. It is a magical album-- a Japanese children's choir with French pop production (think a bunch of bells and shit). I never learned the name of the album while working there and it fell out of my mind until years later when, after remembering how much I loved it, realized I had no idea how to find it. The pain of typing different spellings of “japanese children’s choir” into google for days on end.....I literally yelled when Fargo used this in its Season 2 big boy shootout. *chef’s kiss*

Best Album by a Spiritually Hungry Musical Genius, Lapping Her Contemporaries in Arrangement, Theme, and Songwriting, Gone Before Her Time

Judee Sill’s self-titled debut.

Best Use of a Second Keyboard in A Keyboard Solo

Fountains of Wayne’s Red Dragon Tattoo

Do I mean to say synthesizer? Not sure. RIP Adam Schlesinger and long live FoW. What a loss.

Best Vibes/ Song I’d Most Want to Show Ezra Koenig so That We’d Bond & Become Friends

Zibote

Best Lyrics Written by a Jew in 1920’s NYC Being Sung by Willie Nelson

Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea / to the open arms of the sea

Favorite TV Shows

Ramy

-Second season shook its focus on the titular character and oh am I thankful. Not that Ramy himself isn’t great, he is, but the entire cast here deserves attention. The Uncle Naseem episode. The Uncle Naseem episode. Ahem. The Uncle Naseem episode.

Joe Pera Talks with You

Lovecraft Country

-Small gripes and complicated plotlines aside, this anthology connecting gothic horror, racism, and American history is phenomenal.

Small Axe

-The second installment in this series, Lovers Rock, which takes place at a party, is the vicarious shot in the arm you deserve, you little extroverted thing you.

I May Destroy You

Betty

The Last Dance

-The first Bulls game I ever went to was the first game *without* Michael Jordan, at the beginning of the ‘98-’99 season. Bad timing.

The Chi

Schitt’s Creek

-This show was never about the plot. Am I allowed to say that? I’ve never cared less for a plot and more for a cast. Catherine O’Hara is in her own league above us all.

Jon Writes a Year-End List

In 2019, my roommate June and I took a road trip through the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I was out of a relationship, happily or unhappily I wasn’t sure yet, but along the way I downloaded Tinder hoping to meet a local who’d be excited to make out with me. There wasn’t much bite on my line, but by the time we reached Marquette, largely due to my good looks and charisma I’d orchestrated some type of group date with June, me, a girl from Tinder, and her friend.

We met at a dingy karaoke bar and drank for cheap. Nobody wanted to hear me sing, but I got on stage anyway and gave “Willin” by Little Feat a go. Some guy at the bar in a maroon work shirt looked at me, scoffed, and left to smoke outside. The four of us weren’t hitting it off, even with alcohol. I and the friend made a plan to sing “Mommas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow up to Be Cowboys'', but she quickly abandoned the duet after we had begun, citing a lack of vibes.

But we kept singing and drinking and hours later I was leaning against the bar, waiting to order, standing next to maroon-shirt guy who had so easily shrugged off my existence earlier. What caught my eye as I stood next to him was a Star of David tattoo on his forearm. And sure enough, the name tag stitched onto his shirt identified him as “Isaac”. Well I’ll goddamn be-- this guy was frickin Jewish! I was shocked-- I assumed he was goy in the same way I assumed everyone I ran into up there would be.

For just one unconscious assumption (I’m the only Jewish person in this Marquette karaoke bar) to be wrong felt great. My assumptions are really awful. I assumed maroon-shirt hated my guts. I assumed these two girls we were drinking with thought I was a loser too. I assume people don’t like me or respect me or have any interest in getting to know me. I tell awful stories about myself to myself, and my assumptions about the world are limiting and boring! With patience, “guy at bar who kinda scowled at me” had all of a sudden turned into “my new friend Isaac” who, after a few minutes of conversation, I “asked to bum a cigarette from.”

One of my favorite shows of 2020 was Joe Pera Talks With You. I still remember watching Joe Pera’s stand-up for the first time, and then rewatching and rewatching, savoring his cadence. He dressed and spoke like a grandpa, replete with pitch-perfect, kinda-gross mouth sounds, stutters, and low-but-driving energy. It’s a good bit, and Joe has morphed it into probably the funniest, sweetest, and least-pandering show of 2020. What I love about this show is its foundational belief that anyone can surprise you, you just need to give yourself time to notice.

I didn’t end up making out with anyone but I did wake up the next morning with the worst hangover of my life. Wake up, barf, whimper. As June drove us out of Marquette, I could barely keep my eyes open. I did notice, however, a massive, wooden structure jutting out into Lake Superior.

It is this same Lake Superior structure that Joe Pera Talks With You fixates on for its first shot of Season 2. Yes, this is an Adult Swim show that takes place in none other than Marquette, Michigan! Which is weird. Think about other movies, shows, or books that take place in the U.P. You can’t! Even zooming out to include the larger Upper-Great Lakes region leaves us with an almost-empty net: The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald by Gordon Lightfoot and titular Gatsby’s origin story on Lake Superior. These are stories of hard living and life and death on the dangerous Great Lakes. But neither of those are specific to the Upper Peninsula.

Regions are an easy if reductive lens with which to attempt to view and understand people. In 2020, broad and sweeping generalizations about large swaths of people continued to gain power. There was the movie adaptation of JD Vance’s ahistorical Hillbilly Elegy. Woolly-eyed liberals trotted out fake maps of a preferred America that holds only the “good” blue states, not at all engaging in the history of racism and voter suppression that got us here. Besides the fact that Georgia went blue. And Democratic strongholds like California, New York, and Chicago betray any notion of a “better” America. The sins of this nation are not cordoned off into one section or time zone, no region is monolithic, and most importantly, no person can be explained away with a quick sentence.

There is no regional monolith more widely misunderstood than the Midwestern gestalt. Fargo (the show) does a great job of serializing this one type of Midwestern character-- they say “oh sure, happy to help” and they’re murderers. So for Joe Pera to settle his show in the U.P. is a fun choice. Most Americans are probably hard-pressed to conjure an accurate mental picture of who the U.P. is, so Pera creates his own flavor of a seemingly-recognizable small Midwestern town.

In the first episode, Joe walks us through the bean arch he’s growing. Why grow snap beans? “Beans are straightforward.” Straightforwardness, or the appearance of, is central to Pera’s charm. Pera’s shtick is walking the audience through a basic task that can serve as a metaphor for a larger existential question. This conceit isn’t new to Pera, but it has been en vogue recently, with shows like Andy Daly’s Review and the new HBO show How To with John Wilson. These shows present a simple stated goal that obfuscates a larger, more complex grapple.

Joe Pera Talks With You is incredible and endearing because of the genuine tone Pera gives his tight-knit Marquette. We’re getting deranged lunatics like Conner O’Malley and Dan Licata to write jokes for 70-year old Michigan grandmas at a salon. The show trades in the perceived Midwestern folksiness for a punchline, yet doesn’t lose itself in irony or resentment.

Every character in the Joe Pera universe has the opportunity to be profound. Pera gives every character the patience they deserve; even O’Malley’s berserk Joe Rogan listening-caricature Mike Melsky gets incredible moments of vulnerability. It’s a rare comedy: self-aware but not self-obsessed, sweet but not gross, and uniquely funny.

Nowhere else on TV are you going to see such consistently great acting. Some of the best working comedians are in this season. Conner O’Malley has found a way to tap into his unsettling grotesque that is a pleasure to watch, playing characters at the ends of their ropes, shrieking. Jo Firestone is hilarious and essential as Joe’s doom-prepper girlfriend Sarah. We get guest stars like genius Carmen Christopher. Even one-line role players like Joe’s teacher-coworker, who says Joe and Sarah go together “like desk and chair,” knock it out of the park.

The questions at the heart of Talks With You feel more pronounced in a year of death and isolation. How do we connect with people? How can we really be there for our loved ones? How can we feel comfortable in our own skin? The show came out pre-pandemic but Pera’s touch and pacing is universal.

It’s difficult not to compare Talks With You to How to with John Wilson. The two shows have a lot in common. Both protagonists are soft-spoken, and speak at an arrhythmic clip. John Wilson’s voice is affected just like Pera’s; both vocal deliveries are meant to engender trust by signaling to us that they’re lacking some social confidence. But I don’t buy Wilson’s shtick as much as Pera’s.

John Wilson’s show is not straightforward in the same way Pera’s is, and the show suffers under the added weight of pretense. Wilson’s tangents lead us to places that barely fit under the established thematic umbrella and feel forced. On memory, Wilson’s adventure with the Mandela Effect turns from fascinating to boring as the truthers devolve into sketch characters, viewing simple spelling errors with magnifying glasses. “How to Cover Your Furniture” spends an upsettingly long amount of time with an anti-circumcision advocate as Wilson works through the question of how much we are allowed to change parts of other people. Meant to appear as if they effortlessly fell into place, these characters feel shoe-horned in.

Both characters and shows are performative authenticity, and Joe Pera and John Wilson’s whole deal is their status as observer. This year, many of us have become observers. I know I have: unemployed, unable to see people, watching death counts climb, sending money to various bail funds and rent relief to people and organizations near and far. There is a responsibility to being an observer. It is not some callous task. Being an effective observer means allowing your subject the space they need to be as they are and not foisting your own nonsense onto them.

In Joe Pera’s America, it’s understood that everyone is weird. By virtue of being human, we are all weird, off, we do confusing things, and say dumb stuff that doesn’t make sense. Even you’re a weird freak. John Wilson’s subjects seem like circus animals, squeezed in front of the camera for their fucked-up little flip. I can’t shake the feeling that John Wilson is making fun of the people he’s observing. Pera’s observations are rooted in the fairness that comes from seeing humanity in people-- every person has an equal chance of surprising you with how weird they are if you just make them comfortable and let them talk. We owe that to each other.

To be fair, these shows are also very different. Wilson’s found-footage, documentary style is ingenious, hilarious, and completely not the vibe that Pera and Co. are going for at all. And region here is everything. Wacky stuff happening in NYC? Eh, isn’t that par for the course over there? Wait, a show set in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula? Ok...now that I’ve never seen.

Obviously I was wrong about Isaac in Marquette, just as any broad assumption about a region and its people will be. I actually learned that Jews have a significant relationship to the U.P. And I found similarities between my own Jewish history, covering a similarly nebulous area of the Rust Belt/Midwest, and my U.P. cousins. Yes, home was closer than I thought, even across the length of Lake Michigan. Yes, people don’t just hate my guts. Yes, we can overcome lazy assumptions and we can even connect with people. We can make a better world. It just requires patience and listening.

Now, on to my thoughts regarding Fiona Apple’s landmark album Fetch the Bolt Cutters...

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chronotopes · 7 years

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i got memed by @pilferingapples

answers (and perhaps questions!) below the cut!

1. you can have any three superpowers you want, no unpleasant side effects, no pesky physics ruining things, standard comic-book-supers level full power. what are you picking?

it’s down to time travel, flight, or teleportation. uh.. time travel would be really sick but probably paradoxy in a kind of freaky way? so i’m saying flight so long as flight can get me places faster than walking which combines its benefits with that of teleportation. flight it is.

2. do you use your powers for Good or for Awesome?

honestly... mainly for mundane things. like, for hitting up audrey whenever i want and for getting places easily.

3. if you could wear whatever you wanted, with social judgement/practicality of any sort being a complete nonissue, what would you wear?

i’d be channeling terrible nineteenth century men literally all the time. from the “showing up at the door after a Wild Romanticism Party, in my shirtsleeves” look to something more polished. but still overall what i imagine the geneva ‘16 kind of aesthetique to be. that or armor of some sort.

4. what’s your favorite holiday?

new year’s eve or bust!!! but not like the boring american kind where you get drunk and stress out about who to kiss or whatever, rather the nice russian kind where you.. probably also get drunk, but ALSO just fucking. roll all important holidays into one and fucking throw down. and like give each other presents also with the whole “secular christmas” vibe.

5. what would your Ideal Home be like? (again, cost and physics and practicality not an issue)

i lack the imagination to come up with really wild things for these? every time i picture my Ideal Home it’s either a) an apartment in chicago and i live there with someone i love and it’s relatively spacious and well-lit and within walking distance of some nice exciting things, or b) a lighthouse on the wild coast of maine where nobody will ever find me or my future lesbian wife, and we have twenty cats which i’m NOT allergic to and an herb garden and we grow wild strawberries.

6. if you could cast yourself into any au setting and have any role you wanted, what would it/you be?

small child voice uh i want to be in starfleet. i have no starfleet-adjacent skills but nonetheless. i can be like. an expert in alien literature. in such a way that makes me a helpful consultant to alien sociologists. hey it’s probably helpful in certain hyperspecific contexts!!! (sideways look at 2x22 the wire). anyway i want to be in starfleet and all my friends are also there? except it’s not during the dominion war or whatever because i don’t want us all to be traumatized.

7. you get to make one law that will absolutely be implemented on a national level for at least ten years, full government support guaranteed. what is it?

uh... universal health care? not to be predictable but that’s the answer that came to mind. i can hit up People Who Know Shit for like, details on how to make it the most effective thing possible because i myself don’t know a damn thing but in concept that’s what it would be

8. is there a historical/cultural figure you think gets a bad rap? maligned, misrepresented, misrepresented, unfairly forgotten? what would you like to say about them?

aah i think . i think a.e. housman in most cases (i’m overlooking tumblr niches here!) is overlooked as one of the staples of Gay Edwardian Poetry and misrepresented as being Dry and Dull and Sad only even tho. surely that is not all he was! that’s what i’ve said about him, what i’d like to say TO him is don’t fuck with straight guys alfred it’s gonna be okay

9. how would you describe your Aesthetic if you absolutely had to?

rugged natural wildernesses that i’ve never been to, autumnal antics, vaguely historical things that don’t really commit to being historical, heavy-handed light imagery(tm) etc

10. what is your favorite monster? individual or kind, either way!

lord george gordon byron

11. you get one kind of magic - necromancy, cooking-related, etc - what would it be?

i want to be able to cross into alternate universes and i’d use it exclusively to watch all the au canonically gay versions that exist of things i like. and to hit up au versions of audrey all mysteriously like when julian “universe prime directive whom” bashir finds o’brien and is like “back in real life, we’re BEST FRIENDS” which is by the way a blatant lie at the time lmao.

anyway i don’t think i have eleven whole people i don’t have unfounded anxieties about tagging, but @themainannoyance @rileyball2 @zulubunsen @scary-faery @butchantigone @clownprophet @cryptyper and like @ anyone else who decides these questions speak to them spiritually

what’s a music album u think is a vital piece of art that u could write a paper about if you wanted to

a thing you like about the month of november

favorite theater experience

if you could travel to any time period where would you go and what would u see

who’s a historical figure you would physically fight given the chance

excluding technology, what physical possession of yours do you most value

if you had to spend a day in the life of your twelve-year-old self what would you do

if you could live literally anywhere where would you go

you can rescue one dead fictional character, fundamentally altering the canon of the established work but not altering the timeline of real life in any way. who do you pick

what songs would you use to describe your mood of the moment

rank the star trek captains from best to worst using whatever pre-existing information you have about star trek captains; if you need to, look them up and rank them based solely based on the vibe you get from them.

#information about myself #and some truly cursed questions

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networkingdefinition · 5 years

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Basil Quotes

Official Website: Basil Quotes

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• A man taking basil from a woman will love her always. – Thomas More • And I did a movie called Basil with Jared Leto and Christian Slater. – Claire Forlani

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Basil', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_basil').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_basil img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Bad Girl!” She chided. “I’m pretty sure Boris is a boy,” I said. “Oh, I know,” Mrs. Basil E. assured me. “I just like to keep him confused,” Then she and Boris headed off with my future. – David Levithan • Basil Fawlty was an easy character for me. For some reason, portraying a mean, uptight, incompetent bully comes naturally to me. – John Cleese • Basil Stag Hare tut-tutted severely as he remarked to Ambrose Spike, ‘Tch, tch. Dreadful table manners. Just look at those three wallahs, kicking up a hullaballoo like that! Eating’s a serious business. – Brian Jacques • Basil..discovered a guild of abortionists, or sagae, that were doing a booming trade in Caesarea, and the surrounding environs. They provided herbal potions, pessaries, and even surgical remedies for women who wished to avoid child-bearing. The bodies of the children were then harvested and sold to cosmetologists in Egypt, who used the collagen for the manufacture of various beauty creams. – Grant George • Conscience and cowardice are really the same things, Basil. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all. – Oscar Wilde • Ernie Hayes, Jimmy Lewis, and either Belton Evans or Khalil Mahdi on drums [were in Sweet Basil]. All those guys really took care of me. – Jon Gordon • Going to Europe as a budding cook opened my eyes to food in a different way. When I got to Italy, the first thing I did was put my little basil plants in the ground and watch them turn into big, healthy bushes. – Frances Mayes • I believe in the magic of preparation. You can make just about any foods taste wonderful by adding herbs and spices. Experiment with garlic, cilantro, basil and other fresh herbs on vegetables to make them taste great. – Jorge Cruise • I have been right, Basil, haven’t I, to take my love out of poetry, and to find my wife in Shakespeare’s plays? Lips that Shakespeare taught to speak have whispered their secret in my ear. I have had the arms of Rosalind around me, and kissed Juliet on the mouth. – Oscar Wilde • I think you are wrong, Basil, but I won’t argue with you. It is only the intellectually lost who ever argue. – Oscar Wilde • I was also sitting in from the middle of senior year of high school at Sweet Basil, it was a great club in New York. – Jon Gordon • I went in [Sweet Basil band] and played with them, maybe half the gig for almost eight years or more. – Jon Gordon • I would sit in at a jazz brunch [at sweet Basil] with Eddie Chamblee, who was a great tenor player. Really a kind man. The whole band was great. – Jon Gordon • If you’ve got a plot the size of a car or a tiny yard in Italy, you’re going to be growing tomatoes and basil and celery and carrots, and everybody is still connected to the land. – Frances Mayes • Illy [Ray Illingworth] had the man-management skills of Basil Fawlty – Darren Gough • On daughter Apple’s accent: She says Mummy instead of Mommy, I don’t mind that. I will if she starts saying basil and pasta the English way, as that really drives me nuts. – Gwyneth Paltrow • Pounding fragrant things – particularly garlic, basil, parsley – is a tremendous antidote to depression. But it applies also to juniper berries, coriander seeds and the grilled fruits of the chilli pepper. Pounding these things produces an alteration in one’s being – from sighing with fatigue to inhaling with pleasure. The cheering effects of herbs and alliums cannot be too often reiterated. Virgil’s appetite was probably improved equally by pounding garlic as by eating it. – Patience Gray • Savory…that’s a swell word. And Basil and Betel. Capsicum. Curry. All great. But Relish, now, Relish with a capital R. No argument, that’ the best. – Ray Bradbury • That’s definitely true! It was before my father died, so I can’t attribute it to an obsession with death. When I was seven, I loved those old Sherlock Holmes movies with Basil Rathbone. The Scarlet Claw was one of my faves. And I loved all the Halloween’s and that film about the haunted house… Burnt Offerings, with Oliver Reed. Every birthday party was a slumber party and we’d watch horror films. – Cate Blanchett • The repeat run of Fawlty Towers (BBC2) drew bigger audiences than ever and deservedly so. Statistical surveys reveal that only the television critic of the Spectator is incapable of seeing the joke, which is that Basil Fawlty has the wrong temperament to be a hotel proprietor, just as some other people have the wrong temperament to be television critics. – Clive James • The scent organ was playing a delightfully refreshing Herbal Capriccio – rippling arpeggios of thyme and lavender, of rosemary, basil, myrtle, tarragon; a series of daring modulations through the spice keys into ambergris; and a slow return through sandalwood, camphor, cedar and newmown hay (with occasional subtle touches of discord – a whiff of kidney pudding, the faintest suspicion of pig’s dung) back to the simple aromatics with which the piece began. The final blast of thyme died away; there was a round of applause; the lights went up. – Aldous Huxley • Virtues are in the middle, the royal way about which the saintly elder (Saint Basil the Great) said, “Travel on the royal way and count the miles.” As I said, the virtues are at the midpoint between excess and laxness. That is why it is written, “Do not turn to the right or the left” (Prov 4:27) but travel on the “royal way” (Num. 20:17). Saint Basil also says, “The person who does not allow his thoughts to incline towards excess or deprivation but directs it to the midpoint, that of virtue, is upright in heart.” – Dorotheus of Gaza • We’re big fans of the show on BBC, and some of the greatest actors in film and television have done this character, from Basil Rathbone to Nicol Williamson to Michael Caine. (Executive producer) Rob Doherty came in with the pitch last season, it was immediately a show that we gravitated towards. – Nina Tassler • What the English like to do is to face reality with a glass of port and a tear and fade off like Basil Rathbone into the sunset. – Pete Townshend • When I was thinking about what we could do in terms of what production values of Broadway might be able to add to the show, I had this thought that it would be really cool if we had a coup de théâtre. What would they want? And then I was like, an amazing, enormous tuna puppet that was like 30 by 40 feet would be pretty incredible. So I called up Basil Twist, and he got really excited immediately and started sketching out his idea, and I think it’s a real highlight of the show. – Alex Timbers [clickbank-storefront-bestselling]

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'a', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_a').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_a img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'e', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_e').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_e img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'i', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_i').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_i img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'o', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_o').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_o img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'u', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_u').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_u img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

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equitiesstocks · 5 years

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Basil Quotes

Official Website: Basil Quotes

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• A man taking basil from a woman will love her always. – Thomas More • And I did a movie called Basil with Jared Leto and Christian Slater. – Claire Forlani

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lindyhunt · 6 years

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Canada’s Budding Marijuana Industry Is Helping Women Break the Glass Ceiling

Once the domain of potheads, stoners and no-good wake ’n’ bakers, weed has gone from illicit gateway drug to buzzy new investment in just a few years. In the United States (where marijuana is legal for adult recreational use in nine states and Washington, D.C.), gleaming Apple Store-esque dispensaries sell designer herb alongside artsy pastel-hued pipes; trendy fashion publications profile cool creatives and their favourite strains; and bud brands are even getting in on the ubiquitous streetwear trend, selling logoed tees and hoodies to the millennial masses. Canada, meanwhile, where federal legalization of cannabis was just passed, is starting up what experts predicted in 2016 could be a $22.6 billion industry.

Perhaps what’s most exciting about the so-called “green rush” is the opportunity it presents for women. Because in the current economic landscape, despite all the leaning in on and seemingly daily takedowns of powerful men behaving badly, when it comes to real decision makers and actual women leaders, we have a lot of catching up to do. At the end of the workday, according to a 2016 diversity disclosure practices report conducted by Osler, women account for only 15 per cent of executive officers at TSX-listed companies and only 13 per cent of board members.

Women account for only 15 per cent of executive officers at TSX-listed companies and only 13 per cent of board members.

Weed, in a lot of ways, is poised to blaze a different path. According to a 2015 survey by Marijuana Business Daily of the legal cannabis space in the United States, women made up roughly 36 per cent of leaders, including 63 per cent of high-level positions in testing labs. And there’s more evidence: Women-run dispensaries are popping up stateside as well as here in Canada; last year saw the launch of Broccoli, a stylish cannabis magazine for women that was founded by the former creative director of Kinfolk; cannabis social clubs for women are a thing now; and fem-forward accessories are dominating our social feeds. (Rose-petal rolling papers, anyone?)

April Pride, the founder of female-focused cannabis lifestyle brand Van der Pop (which is now owned by Toronto-based Tokyo Smoke), is the unofficial godmother of the women and weed movement. A serial entrepreneur with a background in design (she trained as an architect and went to Parsons for grad school), Pride launched Van der Pop in 2016 as a fashionable weed accessories brand after she noticed a severe lack of good design in what she knew was a soon-to-explode industry. (She’s based in Washington state, where marijuana has been legal for recreational use since 2012.)

“In the United States, women made up roughly 36 per cent of leaders, including 63 per cent of high-level positions in testing labs.”

A few months after launching the site, she noticed that most people on it were looking for advice and information about how cannabis relates to women’s issues. “Women were coming to me about their own lives, and men were coming to me about their relationships with their wives,” says Pride. “After a while, I was just like, ‘Why am I not doing this?’”

And so she did. In November 2017, she took Van der Pop’s female focus a step further, collaborating with Ontario-based licensed producer WeedMD to launch a line of cannabis strains specifically designed for women’s needs: Cloudburst, which has a profile that’s similar to varieties known to help with pain management and stress, and Eclipse, similar to strains that promote relaxation and help you sleep. “Canada has a distinctly progressive attitude toward cannabis,” says Pride.

“Women were coming to me about their own lives, and men were coming to me about their relationships with their wives. After a while, I was just like, ‘Why am I not doing this?’”

“It has the potential to be the global leader in cannabis, and our brand wants to be part of that momentum.” For Van der Pop, it’s a logical—and likely lucrative—next step because, chic accessories aside, the industry reality seems to point to actual cannabis as the real money-maker. In Canada, this means being, becoming or—like Van der Pop—working with licensed producers.

Currently, only companies holding an ACMPR (Access to Cannabis for Medical Purposes Regulations) licence are authorized to produce or sell marijuana through the medical system. Now that it’s legal, it might get easier, depending on where you live, since provincial governments will be overseeing licensing and distribution instead of Ottawa. But if you do the math, this means that the quietly illegal dispensary you frequent now could easily be just as illegal now as it was before legalization.

“It’s a hugely capital intensive industry, so there are constant meetings with investors, bankers and shareholders.” In other words, it’s hugely white-male intensive.

“In the legal regulated market, we have high standards set by Health Canada that require significant costs and attention,” says Alison Gordon, CEO of 48North Cannabis Corp., an ACMPR-licensed company based in Toronto. “It’s a hugely capital intensive industry, so there are constant meetings with investors, bankers and shareholders.” In other words, it’s hugely white-male intensive.

“It seems that there are some women leaders in the lifestyle or culture side of the business, but unfortunately I don’t see many women at executive or board levels in the companies in the legal regulated space, which is where the industry is going. This is still very male dominated,” continues Gordon. “I am the only female CEO of the 92 licensed companies that I am aware of…but it’s hard to keep track as the list of licensed companies changes weekly.”

Before joining the cannabis industry, Gordon was the executive vice-president of Rethink Breast Cancer, which she co-founded in 2001. When a close family member was diagnosed with stage IV ovarian cancer and began using medical marijuana to help with sleep, anxiety and pain management, Gordon realized that the cannabis industry had a persistent image problem. “I was like, ‘Someone needs to rebrand this. Why does it always have to be just about hippies and rappers?’” she says. “I realized that I have this perfect storm of experience with marketing and fundraising and working with patients, physicians and government, so I jumped into the industry.

Her first role was chief marketing officer for a cannabis producer—technically a demotion. Three years later, she took on a similar role at 48North. And less than a year later, she was appointed CEO. “It’s a challenge across the board, whether it’s women or men, to find people who’ve worked in the cannabis industry,” says Gordon. Her best advice for boss bitches wanting to get in on the lucrative legal action? “It’s a new industry, and we do move very quickly, so if women can get in now—maybe not at executive levels but at the senior level—and get a few years under their belts, they will be the leaders of this industry because we’re at such an early point in time,” she says. “I’m considered a veteran because I’ve been in it for five years.”

“It’s a new industry, and we do move very quickly, so if women can get in now—maybe not at executive levels but at the senior level—and get a few years under their belts, they will be the leaders of this industry because we’re at such an early point in time.”

Of course, as with any industry on the brink of a boom, there’s always the risk of failure. But when it comes to marijuana, the ROI is about so much more than the bottom line—especially for women, many of whom aren’t just jumping on the cannabis bandwagon because it’s edgy or trendy or a buzzy investment. For most, it’s about taking control of their own health.

According to a Van der Pop-sponsored survey of 1,530 women who use cannabis multiple times a month, the top four reasons why they consume it are wellness-related (pain relief, relaxation, stress and anxiety). Which means the same woman who does yoga, drinks cold-pressed juices, meditates with her crystals and adds spirulina to her kale smoothie in the morning is probably also open to smoking a little pot to unwind or deal with a headache or get “in the mood.” And if you consider how massive the #selfcare movement has become, wellness is very likely going to be the thing that breaks weed into the mainstream.

“As more people leave their ‘respectable’ nine-to-fives and start taking best practices from the established industries, I think we’re going to see an incredible rate of innovation. It’s exciting—we get to make the rules and break the rules at the same time!”

“Women are starting to realize, especially in the States, that decisions are being made on our behalf either by the government or by pharmaceutical companies,” says Pride. “Those in positions to make the decisions around which medical challenges to pursue regarding product research and development and/or regulatory change have rarely been female, so our true array of needs have rarely been met. As more people leave their ‘respectable’ nine-to-fives and start taking best practices from the established industries, I think we’re going to see an incredible rate of innovation. It’s exciting—we get to make the rules and break the rules at the same time!”

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bluebookweb · 7 years

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Unique Valentine’s Day Restaurant Promotions

New data from CAKE suggests a cultural shift toward having a more “low key” Valentine’s Day and restaurants saw a decrease in average revenue last year:

Average Revenue on February 14, 2015: $3,059.87

Average Revenue on February 14, 2016: $3,285.25

Average Revenue on February 14, 2017: $2,478.94

Customers are also spending less on lavish meals:

Average bill size on February 14, 2015: $23.98

Average bill size on February 14, 2016: $26.18

Average bill size on February 14, 2017: $22.97

Last year, Valentine’s Day fell on a Tuesday, but most couples who did go out chose to celebrate that weekend, rather than day of:

Average Revenue on Tuesday, February 14: $2,478.94

Average Revenue on Friday, February 17: $2,515.79

Average Revenue on Saturday, February 18: $3,023.78

**Average data pulled from more than 2200 CAKE restaurants.

IBISWorld estimates holiday spending to grow 1.7 percent to $20.1 billion in 2018, topping its historical record. Driven by high levels of per capita disposable income, consumers are more likely to splurge a little more on gifts for their special someone. The average shopper is expected to spend $151.98 on holiday indulgences. According to the National Retail Federation (NRF), a larger share of the U.S. adult population will celebrate Valentine’s Day this year, with an expected 54.7 percent participation rate, up from 53.9 percent in 2017.

With the holiday falling in the middle of the week, fewer consumers will have the time to celebrate with a date night, contributing to a 0.3 percent contraction in spending on a celebratory night out. Fewer big dates this Valentine’s Day will contribute to an expected 0.8 percent decline in revenue for buffet restaurant sin 2018, as well as slow 1.1 percent growth in demand for premium steak restaurants for the year.

Here’s a roundup of some unique restaurant promotions for Valentine’s Day.

KFC’s Scratch ‘n’ Sniff

KFC wants you to show your loved ones how much you care by giving them a fried chicken scratch ‘n’ sniff Valentine’s Day card featuring its iconic founder, Colonel Harland Sanders. Available in participating KFC U.S. restaurants, KFC’s set of four retro-inspired valentines romantically combine tender love lines with the intoxicating scent of fried chicken. When paired with a $10 Chicken Share, perfect for two, KFC is America’s one-stop shop for Valentine’s Day.

“Some years you have to search high and low for the perfect gift for your Valentine,” said Andrea Zahumensky, KFC U.S. CMO. “This year, we decided to make things easy. Skip the candy and go straight for the fried chicken! Grab dinner and some scratch ‘n’ sniff Valentine’s Day cards, and share your love of fried chicken with your valentine.”

KFC’s valentines come in four different intoxicating designs, each with a fried chicken scratch ‘n’ sniff patch, so your valentine can indulge in the heavenly aroma of the Colonel’s 11 herbs and spices. Each valentine features Colonel Sanders with some of his favorite KFC menu items, accompanied by various sappy love lines like:

“You have the secret recipe to my heart.”

“I fell in love the first moment I slaw you.”

“We’re two peas in a chicken pot pie.”

“I’d be with you all the time if only I could. You make me feel so finger lickin’ good.”

For those who are more digitally inclined, KFC has partnered with Tenor, the largest mobile GIF search engine, to create a series of animated KFC valentines for sharing with friends and family in messaging apps. KFC’s limited-edition valentines are free, while supplies last with the purchase of a $10 Chicken Share.

Sister Brands Share the Love

Auntie Anne’s, McAlister’s and Schlotzsky’s are FOCUS “sister brands” so they bundled up their Valentine’s Day offerings

Keep things with your loved ones extra hot by baking up Spicy Brownies with Schlotzsky’s ultimate brownie recipe. In fact, guests who spend $7 at Schlotzsky’s on Valentine’s Day will receive a free bottle of Schlotzsky’s hot sauce (at participating Schlotzsky’s stores)

Spicy Brownies

3 ounces (1 small bottle) Schlotzsky’s hot sauce

1 box of brownie mix

Vegetable oil (follow manufacturer’s recipe on box)

Eggs (follow manufacturer’s recipe on box)

Heart shaped cookie cutters (optional)

Marshmallow cream

(optional)

Sprinkles / crushed candy (optional)

Prepare brownie mix according to manufacturer’s recipe on package and substitute water for

Schlotzsky’s hot sauce. Bake according to instructions on box.

Let it cool. Cut into heart shape and top

with mars

hmallows, sprinkles and/or your favorite candy.

If a spicier brownie is desired:

Using a fork, pinch the brownies once they are cooled.

Brush more Schlotzsky’s hot sauce over

brownies.

Original and Cinnamon Sugar Heart-Shaped Pretzels will be available at Auntie Anne’s nationwide on February 14 To help further spread the love, Auntie Anne’s is offering a Heart-Shaped Pretzel Buy One, Get One (BOGO) promotion for all My Pretzel Perks members.

McAlister’s is offering free kids meals for each adult meal purchased by you and your boo. On February 14, participating McAlister’s locations are offering up to two complimentary kids meals with the purchase of an adult entrée for all guests that dine in. Guests can also keep an eye out for a complimentary surprise treat available for all loyalty members.

Beef Box Bouquet

Beef Jerky Outlet has debuted the Beef Box Bouquet just in time for Valentine’s Day. Each bouquet is presented in a unique beer can shaped glass with a special red koozie wrap. The bouquet is made up of Beef Jerky Outlet’s Original Flavor Snack Sticks topped with heart-shaped Original Recipe jerky “petals” and one in the shape of the iconic Beef Jerky Outlet Bull. The finishing touch is that it all comes packaged in a beautiful wooden “Keeper of Drinks Remembered” cap and cork catcher that lets a couple save mementoes of their special memories together.

“We are excited to offer our customers a fun, new option for a Valentine’s Day present,” says Paul Lyons, President of Beef Jerky Outlet. “Our tasty Beef Box Bouquet is a unique way to show the meat-lover in your life that you care. Not to mention, jerky is a much healthier option than many of the traditional Valentine’s Day treats.”

1-844-WING-LUV

Wingstop Restaurants Inc. opened the phone lines of a limited time, Valentine’s Day toll-free hotline designed to help those looking to step up their romance game (and cure their hunger pains). Whether you want to keep yourself out of the doghouse or have simply “been there, done that” with teddy bears and roses, celebrate the day of LUV with Wingstop on your lips and call 1-844-WING-LUV (or 1-844-946-4588) now.

The Wingstop WING LUV hotline offers five romantic options to take your wing fling to the next level, including:

Valentine’s night pro tips, Press 1.

A vocal warm up routine, Press 2.

Wing presentation advice, Press 3.

Exclusive access to the Valentine’s mixtape, Press 4.

Just listen to your hotline rep talk saucy to you for a while, Press 5.

When callers are overcome with craving, they simply Press 0 for information on pre-ordering their WING LUV kit. Each kit contains a heart-shaped wing box (chocolate is overrated) and all the romantic essentials necessary to make the perfect wing bouquet: skewers for wing “roses,” decorative cellophane, tissue paper, ribbon and DIY instructions. Plus, no kit would be complete without a $25Wingstop gift card and gift card holder, and four unique Valentine’s Day cards to help bring the sweet heat on February 14.

“At Wingstop, we can’t stop believing in the power of love, and nothing says ‘you’re the lemon to my pepper’ quite like combining our mouth-watering wings with the savory romantic advice from the WING LUV hotline,” said Flynn Dekker, Chief Marketing Officer of Wingstop. “Whatever your relationship status, we want you to forget about those fancy dinner reservations or pounds of chocolate and just focus on giving your Valentine the gift they truly want and need – a heart-shaped box or bouquet of wings. Drop Wingstop a line, and let us do all the work for you before the big day.”

A Year Crafted with Love

Gordon Biersch Brewery Restaurant is giving couples a lot to toast and celebrate this Valentine’s Day. Guests can purchase “A Year Crafted with Love” certificate books featuring a year’s worth of dates for a special price of $75. The book includes 52 vouchers for guests to enjoy a “date night” at Gordon Biersch with one starter dish and 2 glasses of wine or beer every week in 2018.

To celebrate the brewery restaurant’s 30th anniversary and love for craft beer, now through February 25, guests can also enjoy Gordon Biersch’s house-brewed beer for only $2.50—the same price they sold for when the restaurant first opened in 1988.

In addition to the Year of Love certificate book, guests can celebrate their love all of Valentine’s week with a Valentine’s Prix Fixe Menu for Two at Gordon Biersch locations. Priced at just $49.99, the menu is available Monday, February 12 – Sunday, February 18 and includes:

Choice of Two Beverages

Gordon Biersch Beer

Prosecco

Non-alcoholic beverage

Choice of One Brewery Starter

Coconut Shrimp – crispy fried coconut shrimp served with grilled pineapple & mango salsa & drizzled with sweet Thai chili sauce.

Cheese Curds (Taster size) – white cheddar cheese curds lightly fried & topped with candied bacon. Served with a creamy bacon dip.

Asian Chicken Bites (Taster size) – crispy chicken tossed in teriyaki sauce with chilies & green onions. Served with a lemon glaze.

Choice of Two Entrees

Lobster & Shrimp Mac n Cheese – lobster, shrimp & farfalle pasta tossed in Asiago-Parmesan-havarti sauce with tomatoes & green onions. Served with a garlic cheese crostini

Woodford Reserve Bourbon® Grill – your choice of Chicken or Salmon with Woodford Reserve Bourbon® sauce, quinoa-kale salad & choice of side.

Char Grilled USDA Choice Top Sirloin – your choice of 7oz & 10oz & two sides. Top with your choice of sauce: mushroom beer, red wine reduction or Gorgonzola garlic.

Choice of One Dessert

Warm Apple Bread Pudding – housemade, traditional bread pudding topped with pecans, vanilla ice cream & whiskey sauce

Triple Chocolate Brownie – served with vanilla ice cream & drizzled with warm fudge & caramel sauce

Apple Crostata – baked apple tart topped with vanilla ice cream, drizzled with salted caramel sauce & topped with housemade candied apple chips

Find Your Queso Bae

Moe’s Southwest Grill® announces its latest menu innovation: three mouthwateringly delicious, brand new queso flavors, available at all locations nationwide. The Southwest-inspired menu items include Chili Con Queso, Black Bean Queso and Spicy Queso.

Each queso flavor is created in-house by adding fresh ingredients to Moe’s Famous Queso – it’s like adding diamonds to liquid gold.

Chili Con Queso: ground beef, fresh jalapenos and pico

Black Bean Queso: black beans, corn pico and cilantro

Spicy Queso: pork carnitas, Hard Rock ‘N’ Roll hot sauce and fresh jalapenos

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Moe’s created a quiz for our fans to find their true match – their Queso Bae. By visiting Moe’s Facebook page, fans can spice up their love lives by answering a few short and fun questions designed to uncover their soulmate: will it be Chili Con Queso, Black Bean Queso or Spicy Queso?

“We know that Moe’s fans are extremely passionate about our famous queso and bold flavor combinations, so we’ve worked with our culinary team to create three southwestern queso flavors,” says Bruce Schroder, President, Moe’s Southwest Grill. “Whether you’re looking for a vegetarian queso, a spicy queso that brings the heat or even the original familiar liquid gold – we have you covered at any of our 700 locations.”

Heart-Shaped Bagels

Einstein Bros.® Bagels is inviting guests to delight those they love with a box of heart-shaped bagels. They are available in flavors of Chocolate Chip, Cranberry and Plain. For last-minute purchases on Valentine’s Day, the company will offer heart-shaped bagels in the popular Chocolate Chip flavor for drop-in purchase.

“Across thousands of conversations with our guests, we repeatedly hear echoes of the joy shared by people coming together over bagels,” said Kerry Coyne, Einstein Bros.® Bagels SVP of Marketing, Product, and R&D. “Our bakers like to say all they knead is love, and this Valentine’s Day we are taking that fun approach literally – by crafting our fresh-baked and beloved bagels into hearts that convey the love with which they are made and given. They are the perfect, unique gift for delighting those you cherish this Valentine’s Day.”

My Pocky Valentine

Sparks will be flying this Valentine’s Day, thanks to a love connection between TGI Fridays and Pocky. The casual dining chain has collaborated with candy snack company Ezaki Glico USA to introduce Red Velvet Sparkler Cake, a decadent dessert creation that recently debuted on TGI Fridays’ menu. This is the first time Ezaki Glico USA has collaborated with a major national restaurant chain since expanding to the United States in 2003.

“We’re big fans of Fridays, and welcomed the opportunity for Pocky to be featured in this innovative, new dessert,” said Akitoshi Oku, President, Ezaki Glico USA. “Based on the social response from our fans and theirs, we’re already experiencing the synergistic benefits.”

The new dessert features red velvet cake, layered with cream cheese frosting and topped with red and white sprinkles. It’s served in a bowl of strawberry fizz candy clusters and a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and topped off with Strawberry Pocky. Served tableside with sparklers, the Red Velvet Cake adds sizzle to any occasion, including Valentine’s Day, birthdays, July 4th, graduations, and any day of the week that ends in “y.”

“Our guests that have tried this dessert absolutely love it. We have seen amazing engagement from our team members at Fridays restaurants and strong engagement in our social media circles,” said David Spirito, Senior Director of Culinary Innovation. “The Red Velvet Sparkler will undoubtedly be featured on our menu for a while.”

The Red Velvet Sparkler Cake is available at all TGI Fridays locations nationwide. It’s based priced at $7.99 but prices may vary by location.

A Bejeweled Menu

Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse & Wine Bar is partnering with a jeweler to provide a one-of-a-kind Valentine’s Day experience. Guests can indulge and celebrate their love with dinner for two, a bottle of premium champagne and an exquisite pendant.

A special four-course prix fixe Valentine’s Day menu, available through February 18, that will satisfy any palate includes:

An amuse-bouche of Prosciutto wrapped scallops

Roasted beet and goat cheese salad

Choice of filet mignon or barbecue salmon, paired with succulent colossal king crab legs or shrimp

Chocolate covered madeleine cookies and strawberries

For guests looking to elevate their evening and spoil their Valentine’s with an extravagant surprise, Fleming’s is offering a $500 package that includes the prix fixe dinner for two, a bottle of Veuve Clicquot served tableside, and a memorable gift to take home — a stunning pendant from a luxury Fifth Avenue jeweler.

“We’re offering an unforgettable Valentine’s Day celebration with an exceptional, all-inclusive evening that guests won’t soon forget,” said Beth Scott, President of Fleming’s.

The four-course Valentine’s Day menu is available at Fleming’s 69 locations starting at $75.00 per person (prices vary by locations)

Dutch Luv

On Feb. 14, all Dutch Bros locations will celebrate Valentine’s Day with their annual Dutch Luv campaign, which involves nearly 300 locations across seven states donating $1 from every drink sold that day to a local food bank.

On average, a $1 donation allows the food banks to purchase seven pounds of healthy and nutritious food that highly benefits local families and individuals.

“Every year we continue to be amazed by the support and outpouring of love that our communities provide to those in need,” said Travis Boersma, Co-Founder of Dutch Bros Coffee. “We are proud to partner with these local organizations that are so committed to ending hunger.”

In 2017 alone, Dutch Bros raised $251,671 for their Dutch Luv campaign. This allowed local organizations to purchase up to 1,761,697 pounds of food, or 1.4 million meals for hungry members of their communities.

$2.14 Deal

Maui Wowi® Hawaiian Coffees and Smoothies is bringing back its Valentine’s Day deal, offering its fruit smoothies for only $2.14 that day, available at participating retail locations.

With the brand’s average small smoothie price coming in at $3.99, treating yourself to a small smoothie will be nearly half off. All Maui Wowi smoothies are naturally gluten-free and packed with deliciously healthy ingredients like bananas and live-cultured, probiotic yogurt. Customers can order traditional smoothies like Strawberry, Mango Orange or Piña Colada or choose from a list of other specialty blends like the Hawaiian Dreamsicle, Tropical Sunset, and Wistful Waikiki, which combine two classic flavors for a refreshing new taste.

“Whether you’re celebrating with your significant other, your friends or yourself, Maui Wowi wants to make Valentine’s Day as sweet as possible for everyone,” said Mike Weinberger, brand president of Maui Wowi. “Our $2.14 smoothie special has become a beloved tradition for singles and couples alike. Regardless of whether you’re sharing a straw with a Valentine or not, a Maui Wowi smoothie is the perfect better-for-you option.”

Galentine’s Day Festivities

Originally known only to fans of the TV show “Parks and Recreation,” Galentine’s Day, the day before Valentine’s Day where ladies celebrate ladies, has become an annual cultural event. Since it falls this year on a Tuesday, Taco Tuesday, a number of restaurants are hosting promotions.

El Torito decided to celebrate it as only they can. $2.99 Tacos. Choose from Steak, Chicken, Carnitas and Fish Tacos made with handmade guajillo chile tortillas. Select from a variety of salsas, nopalitos salad, cabbage/lettuce mix and cheese. Also available are complimentary Frijoles de la olla, potatoes and El Torito’s signature Sweet Corn Cake. This will be served from 3p.m. to close in the Cantina at all locations.

All nine locations of Acapulco Restaurant and Cantina will offer $3 Tacos from 3 p.m. to close. Choose from Al Pastor, Shrimp, Chicken and Carne Asada made with handmade tortillas. Select from a variety of salsas, cabbage/lettuce mix and cheeses. Also enjoy a Beer and a shot for just $4.

Pink Taco is celebrating from 4 p.m. to close at 8225 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, California.

Unique Valentine’s Day Restaurant Promotions posted first on happyhourspecialsyum.blogspot.com

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lucianaglossop7-blog · 7 years

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Perennial Vegetation In The Garden

Stems or branches are shaped and briefly supported for a yr or much more, based on the dimension of the design and the time frame the supports are require. During that time, the style swells with every additional layer of wood developed. Once the tree is in a position to assistance the shaping, the temporary supports can be removed. Moving into a new home is thrilling. Follow these simple tips and you'll be in a position to choose housewarming gifts just as exciting and revolutionary as the move. Housewarming gifts that delights and pleases merely consider a little bit of believed. The great news is that every and each one of us can help comserve water by making small modifications in our day-to-working day routines. These actions will not only help keep our oceans, waves and beaches thoroughly clean, they could possibly help you save hundreds of bucks every yr! Purchase an inexpensive gardening kneeling pad, as nicely as a wheelbarrow or wagon. It is essential to shield your knees when you are kneeling in the garden, and a foam kneeling pad will help with that. Gardening also usually involves transporting bags of topsoil, fertilizer and other heavy products, so utilizing a wheelbarrow to make these tasks simpler is a sound expense for your backyard, and your back. Growing herbs indoors is easier than it seems. In some instances, you can just purchase a pot that hangs or mounts onto your windowsill or you can set them on a porch or balcony. Regardless of where they go, you require a pot for them. Many gardeners recommend a clay pot because the porous sides maintain nutrients and dampness better. It's also a much more all-natural material than plastic. In reality, choose a pot - any pot. Just make certain you get 1 that enables additional moisture to drain out the base. You also may want to place a plate beneath it or buy a matching saucer so that when the drinking water drains, it doesn't operate all over the place. If cash is not an problem for you maybe Oak Bay consists of what you may favor. With yards bigger than present building as this community has been developed for numerous years. Well-kept lawns along with shrubs and hedges with floral arrangements blended in for color. If you have lots and tons of cash you might move into million greenback homes on the uplands area. At 1 time a gated region back again in the previous exactly where your personal landscaping design maintains the lawns, and houses big enough for three families. And in the area the Victoria golfing club. Unquestionably unique residing. Carrying on about the island to Gordon head next to Mount Doug Park. The fulfillment from a good times' gardening, whatever time of yr is insurmountable - let the flowers in your vase be from your garden and not from somebody wishing your back again discomfort will be better quickly! Different styles of tree shaping have various time specifications. When expanding a tree intended for harvest and drying, there is a outlined stage at which the piece is completed. When growing a piece intended to stay alive, the piece is never completed until it dies. Don't worry the task of plant removal from the garden. There will be times exactly where you plant issues that just don't mesh with the relaxation of your landscape. Removing the plant might be the very best choice, and you can change it with some thing more appropriate to your landscaping design. You could always place the plant someplace else or even give it absent. Sowing seeds demands the creating of proper holes in the soil and it is here that the hoe is commonly used. The hoe can also be used for earthing up potatoes. Rakes are also needed for cultivation in the backyard. Leaves need to be raked up and in addition to that the turf as nicely as seeds that have germinated needs to be coated with soil whenever essential, which can be done by utilizing the leaf rake. Debris, stones, etc. need to be cleared off the backyard floor, which can be carried out with the help of a teeth backyard rake. For seeding purposes you will require the drop spreader and the rotary spreader, as per your option, which can also be utilized for spreading fertilizers. Hoodia Gordonii is often called a "Cactus". Botanically correct, we would have to call her a "Stem succulent", which is at the end not much of a distinction anyway. She needs a little little bit much more drinking water, but you do not have to be a professional landscaping design, to raise "Hoodia Shoots" into a developed plant. But this is not the problem here. Now you have the chance, to raise your very own, private Hoodia Gordonii plant in your house. Not to create the Capsules on your personal, just to have a "Queen of the Namib" in your house, on your balcony, in the kitchen or in the backyard. Just as a reminder on "heavier" times, just as a inspiration tool for your diet. A couple of of the tools used in tree shaping are comparable to these used by a landscaping design, an arborist, or a horticulturist. These tools consist of handpruners (secateurs) and a pruning noticed. Shears (pruning shears or a hedge trimmer) are utilized much less commonly. Shears are utilized much more often for topiary or a hedge. The resources, supplies and products for growing and shaping are varied. Essentially, this is what ever a tree shaper chooses for creating the style and could consist of wood boards, pipe, rope, wire, string, tape, etc. Even an item like a steel patio bench could be utilized as a pattern or mold.

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lindyhunt · 6 years

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Canada’s Budding Marijuana Industry Is Helping Women Break the Glass Ceiling

Once the domain of potheads, stoners and no-good wake ’n’ bakers, weed has gone from illicit gateway drug to buzzy new investment in just a few years. In the United States (where marijuana is legal for adult recreational use in nine states and Washington, D.C.), gleaming Apple Store-esque dispensaries sell designer herb alongside artsy pastel-hued pipes; trendy fashion publications profile cool creatives and their favourite strains; and bud brands are even getting in on the ubiquitous streetwear trend, selling logoed tees and hoodies to the millennial masses. Canada, meanwhile, nearing federal legalization of cannabis, is on the brink of what experts predicted in 2016 could be a $22.6 billion industry.

Women account for only 15 per cent of executive officers at TSX-listed companies and only 13 per cent of board members.

“In the United States, women made up roughly 36 per cent of leaders, including 63 per cent of high-level positions in testing labs.”

“Women were coming to me about their own lives, and men were coming to me about their relationships with their wives. After a while, I was just like, ‘Why am I not doing this?’”

Currently, only companies holding an ACMPR (Access to Cannabis for Medical Purposes Regulations) licence are authorized to produce or sell marijuana through the medical system. Come legalization, it might get easier, depending on where you live, since provincial governments will be overseeing licensing and distribution instead of Ottawa. But if you do the math, this means that the quietly illegal dispensary you frequent now could easily be just as illegal after legalization.

“It’s a hugely capital intensive industry, so there are constant meetings with investors, bankers and shareholders.” In other words, it’s hugely white-male intensive.

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myseohub123 · 7 years

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A facebook group set up for conversations about how the UK manages cancer is gathering momentum

Banned Aid: Weed the World was set up by Dr Carol Coombes OBE, a leading strengths based leadership consultant in the UK, after she'd researched how other countries around the World are tackling Cancer treatment most successfully. Carol recently came out about her own cancer, diagnosed in February 2017, after finding that unless she accepted Chemotherapy and radiation therapy to her throat, there was no treatment available for her. Diagnosed with a ‘rare and aggressive’ tonsillar cancer, Carol immediately embarked on a series of lifestyle changes, aiming to rebuild her immune system. Her hope then was that she could do this, and with regular monitoring and assessment from the NHS, be able to check on progress. Carol was stunned to learn that the NHS, the main public healthcare provider in the UK, cannot discuss any treatments outside oncology, due to The Cancer act 1939, and therefore couldn't scan or assess her unless she'd go ahead with the treatment laid out. Further conversations made it clear that there can't be any conversations about other approaches. No treatment can be given without having gone through full clinical trials. No clinical trials can be considered without enough compelling evidence to force one. And no evidence is being collected to force one. Stories claiming treatment or cures are classed as purely anecdotal, and considered subject to change under scrutiny, meaning they can’t even be considered in gathering useful intelligence. 'There are a number of shrewd private investors in the UK who've begun to invest in and look into cannabinoid technologies, as the biggest growth opportunity of our time. Given the investment required in the UK, to re-humanise our welfare state, and in the NHS to manage even the the A&E requirements well, it makes good sense to look at this opportunity holistically. If we look at the Colorado experience, amongst others, we can see the potential for it to be a huge asset.

My preference, personally, would be to have the herb declassified, so everyone can use it without cost. I cant ever imagine such a common sense approach, so if that's not to happen, the industry should be nationalised. That's the only other obvious and transparent way I can see to avoid a two tier system based on cost, without crippling the NHS who'd have to buy it from these private companies. It's brave and big, and also exactly what's required here she knows that even with a collective political will, which the UK doesn't currently have, methods proving to work in other countries can't even be discussed and assessed in the UK.

Carol believes there must be others, and that they're not on record because the NHS can't treat them, so doesn't gather and use the evidence. She says that gathering evidence while the opportunity exists is too good to miss, especially as it shouldn't cost the NHS any more than standard assessment should. Her own approach, supported by herbalists and Naturopaths, is to rebuild her immune system, ensuring her lymph system is clearing her body, and that she's creating the healthiest environment internally. She’s spoken with several leading researchers who said, quite simply, they’re prohibited from discussing anything outside of conventional treatment within current legislation. Others in the NHS have said there is a real excitement about new approaches, and the biggest challenge is with knowing how to apply them, rather than of understanding them. The aim of the facebook group is to have a simple way to bring together people who are interested in finding out more, and who want to contribute to the conversations. It's a new group, filling with members happy to disagree and argue the biggest points respectfully, to see how it can be of most help As a parent and grandparent, and an original 1976 Punk rocker, Carol has spent much of her life changing the systems to meet the needs of the people, rather than the other way round. She's known to have always been concerned more with morality than legality, and has led a number of successful campaigns on precisely that basis. Cannabis Oil is expected to be made legal in the UK in a few years time at most, as it is in other countries. She says if information is being gathered now, ready for that time, it gives an obvious advantage. ‘Some of the great brains behind the work and research leading us to this point (including Mechoulam, Devane, Hanus, Melamede, Gordon, Russo, Guzman, Sanchez et al) are around at the moment to help nuance our understanding of what we find. How amazing would it be for our brilliant NHS staff to learn lessons while we can still ask The Pathfinders? ‘ She insists 'Look at what's happened with Cannabis in other countries. This could help to underpin other vital services, not just the NHS. There are proven and major ways of this helping the economy, not just health. We're idiots if we miss this, and much more morally bereft than idiots if we let this treatment, that could also avoid much of the trauma and havoc wreaked on people's bodies, go to the private sector alone. Carol's experience of making big changes to society lets her believe there's much more that can easily and cheaply be done. She'd like to see preventative work carried out in schools to understand healthy eating, and she’s been speaking with senior leaders in her hometown of Birmingham UK to model it as a Well City. We need to look at everything that’s showing results, as current treatment is so life changing. What an amazing, privileged opportunity to make a difference during what could for some of us, be the last stages of our lives?’ Join the conversation here https://www.facebook.com/groups/1371468459639799/ or via twitter @crackingleaders

#Dr Carol Coombes OBE

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