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hoesamo · 1 year ago

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Altar of the Cult [Part 6 FINAL]

After fighting the mummies, Yuji is excited for this new boon to his blade.

Tlatoani disparages his servants who lost, but Fafnir doesn’t care to keep hearing him speak. It’s about time he’s put down for good, and Gordon agrees, ready to finally avenge his friend. Tlatoani finally attacks them, proudly declaring he won’t die thanks to his Immortal Emperor’s blessing. Thus, our boss fight begins.

After the battle, Yuji realizes they’ve won, while Tlatoani can feel his strength waning away, despite being immortal. As this plays out, Meteor appears, and Tlatoani asks where he’s been. He doesn’t respond.

Tlatoani urges him to tear the group to pieces for the Immortal Emperor, and Meteor asks “Isn’t there already a suitable sacrifice for the Immortal Emperor here? Someone favored by the Immortal Emperor, full of resentment and negative magic.” With that, Meteor strikes Tlatoani down.

Yuji is shocked to see Meteor attack his (presumably) friend. Tlatoani is panicking as he asks why his body is collapsing. Wasn’t his immortality supposed to be eternal? He also asks why he defied his control over him, which shouldn’t be possible. His blackened eyes should evidence of his power over him. Meteor answers about his blackened eyes, by casting a spell to reveal his are back to normal. Tlatoani is dumbfounded and shocked, and asks if he’s actually been like this since the beginning.

Meteor explains the mechanics of his soul-binding magic, using the dagger of the Black Star he just picked up. He was actually familiar with his type of magic, and so it was no problem for him to solve it. Flabbergasted, Tlatoani asks who exactly is he, but Meteor just apologizes to him for his deception. All of this was for reviving the Immortal Emperor. He asks for forgiveness, and tells Tlatoani to sleep, stabbing him again. With that, the Mad Priest crumbles away, dying afraid of his own end and begging for help.

And now, Nekros The Immortal Emperor has been revived.

Fafnir can feel the magical power from his Dragon’s Body coming from the entity. Gordon wasn’t expecting any of this to happen, but Gordon knows he was an emperor that was once worshipped in an ancient kingdom. Fafnir recognizes him to be the “Nolifeking” from several centuries ago.

(I’m just gonna call him Nekros from here on out, bc Nolifeking is simply too goofy a name and I will lose focus from laughing)

Nekros doesn’t yet respond, but Yuji’s scared shitless. His power seems to be different from that Ancestor. Meteor congratulates Nekros on his arrival, but this isn’t a “Star Phase.” He claims that he will guide him to the appropriate vessel and throne for him, and asks if he’ll be given the honor of such a task. Silently, Nekros disappears immediately with Meteor. Yuji’s just grateful that they’re at least gone for now.

While Yuji’s wondering what’s going to happen, Gordon finds a ring from Tlatoani’s ashes. He thinks about his old friend. He’s moved that his friend still kept it, even when his physical body was possessed. He asks him if he’s avenged him properly, and hopes he can at least rest in peace now.

Fafnir’s pretty pissed his Dragon Body has been hijacked by the Immortal Emperor. He has to catch up to it. He needs recover his dragon body, but before he can continue, everything interrupted by tremors. It looks like the dungeon is collapsing.

The group rushes out of the dungeon. Fafnir’s panting heavily after their escape, Gordon offers him some leftover herbs to help him recover. He even encourages him to rest. Looks like we used up our magic potion to heal Fafnir. Yuji asks if Tlatoani is truly dead. Gordon thinks so, but now he’s more concerned about the clearly more dangerous being that’s just been summoned. Still, now that Tlatoani is actually dead, then that means the people cursed at the castle are likely free now.

Yuji’s stoked to hear this, and Gordon says their next stop should the be King’s Castle. Yuji is excited, but Fafnir’s pretty quiet. Yuji’s curious as to why, but realizes he’s likely still hung up on not having his Dragon body back. Gordon invites Fafnir to come to his bar, since he doesn’t have anywhere to go. Gordon formally thanks Fafnir and Yuji for helping him.

Before he retires for the night, Gordon takes a moment to stare at the entrance of the collapsing dungeon.

Altar of the Cult [END]

#fkare #REALLY LOVED THIS FOR GORDON AND FAFNIR

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the-astromeners-bakery · 2 years ago

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How the Wayne’s reacted to meeting Cassandra’s girlfriend (Me) and also the gifts I brought them-

Bruce Wayne-

He was pretty nice. He told me that as long as I treated Cassandra right and made her happy, we would have no problems. He even asked Cass my allergies so he could plan the meals accordingly. It was hard to get a gift for a BILLIONAIRE, but he seemed to like the fruit basket-

Dick Grayson-

He was very excited. Apparently, I’ve been the first person to ever beat him at Star Wars trivia. He said he wanted to meet me in a week for a rematch. He really like the playing cards and chess set I got him.

Jason Todd-

Pretty chill. Asked we what I read and if I wrote. We had a long discussion about grammar and the best writing tactics. He offered to teach me Spanish. He appreciated the pack of rare novels I got him, and even offered to pay me for them. I said no but I still found 300$ in my Paypall.

Tim Drake-

He shared his coffee maker with me, so that’s a win. He asked me the stereotypical questions, how we met, how long we’ve been together, etc. He also said he’d been willing to help me if I’m struggling in anything. He said he’d out the coffee mixtures I got him to use, as well as the new laptop.

Stephanie Brown-

She gave me a semi-tour of the mansion, told me if I ever wanted to move in there was always room. She also admitted that she was the one who ordered that giant load from my shop just so I could have extra spending money, which made me glad I choose to see her some purple dresses.

Damian Wayne-

I knew he would be tough to please, so I brought a basket with all the kittens in it to hopefully a good impression. He didn’t say much to my face, just leaning down to pet them, but Cass told me I had his approval. I decided to take the risk and get him a peacock… I almost thought I saw a smile.

Duke Thomas-

Listen, this dude is a sweetheart. He ate the majority of the baked goods I gave him, and quietly asked if he could have more the next time I visited. He’s about Christie’s age I think, so I offered to tutor him in literature.

Harper and Cullen row-

I put these two together because they never left each other’s side. Harper was pretty open about it, while Cullen took a little convincing. They both liked the art supplies I gave them, and Harper asked if I wanted to meet again to draw with them.

Helena Wayne/Bertinellie-

Are they twins or something? No clue. I got them both gift cards because of last minute shopping- they still seem to like and respect me.

Luke Fox-

Also a sweetheart. Challenged me to a few rounds of basketball while asking me questions. I lost most of them, but it was good game. When I gave him a ball pump, he pat me in the back and thanked me.

Barbara Gordon-

Lovely woman. Said she’s ‘grateful that Cass is dating an empath’. How did that woman know?! Anyways, she loved the headphones and wheelchair bag, so that’s great.

Carrie Kelly-

Really energetic kid. Cass told me she wanted to get into sewing, so I bought her a beginners kit and taught her the basics. Safe to say, I might be her favorite non-sibling.

And of course..

Alfred Pennyworth-

Sweet old man. If anyones hurts him I will personally kill them. No one deserves him. I brought him some herbs I grew and he seemed to appreciate them. He called me “Young Master” as first. When I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that, he didn’t even blink before calling me “Young Lass” instead. Sweet old man.

Safe to say, I’m pretty much welcome back anytime. Apparently, there’s still some family I haven’t met that just couldn’t make it, but I’ll see them at what Mr. Wayne called “Introduction part 2”. I’m glad it all worked out fine.

#only in gotham #onlyingotham #dc roleplay #dc rp #dc rp open #only in gotham rp #gothamite #gotham city #gotham

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haltandcatchfiretothemax · 4 years ago

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FEMSLASH FEBRUARY 2021 #21: In which Donna gives Cameron a gift

[CN: food and eating mentions; alcohol mentions]

It was early in the evening on a breezy summer Friday toward the end of June, and as Cameron pulled up to Donna’s house she wondered, not for the first time, if she was ready to be done with commuting and splitting her time evenly between the trailer and Donna’s house. She turned off the ignition, grabbed the bunch of wild flowers she’d picked from her own garden patch, got out of the car. Or at least, maybe it’s time for a break? she thought to herself as she walked up to Donna’s front door. I’ve been going back and forth for a year…maybe I could just stay here for the summer…or even just for this month? Or the next few weeks?

Donna had left the door open for her, and Cameron let herself in, expecting to find Donna listening to music and maybe even dancing in the den or maybe the bedroom, happy and energized from her weekly manicure and lunch outing, buzzing with news from Tanya or Diane, as well as ideas for what they should do that evening and later that weekend. Instead, Donna was in the kitchen, in a black knee-length full slip and apron, hair half up in rollers, behind the stove, which was covered in simmering pots and pans. Cameron’s eye immediately went to the table, which was set with Donna’s good plates and candlesticks, and an empty vase waiting for Cameron’s wildflowers.

“Honey!” Donna called out. “You’re home! Just give me a second and I’ll fetch your slippers and bring you a gin and tonic!”

The very idea of gin made Cameron go ugh. She went to the dining room, and turned around. “What is all this? Did we get married? Is this our anniversary that I forgot? Did I miss something?”

Donna chuckled at her, stirring one of the pots in front of her. “Well, it is almost the 4th of July, which is sort of an anniversary for us.”

Cameron nodded. “I’ll allow it.”

“I figured,” Donna said, checking one of the other pots, “that we could get a jump on celebrating, since we’ll be preoccupied with the 4th, on the 4th, and all.”

Cameron sighed and looked over at Donna, hit with a wave of affection for her. “Okay, Boss.” She went up to the kitchen island, and said, “You look very alluring in your slip.”

“Thank you!” Donna said brightly. “Are you wondering if I’m planning on dressing up, and if that means that you’ll have to dress for dinner as well?”

“You can read my mind. Just like a perfect wife should,” Cameron joked.

Donna shrugged. “I was gonna put a blouse and shorts back on after I was done cooking. The slip was just so that you’d have something fun to look at.”

“Mission accomplished,” Cameron grinned. “I’m a little grimy from the drive, though, so. Meet you back here after I get the flowers in some water and shower?”

Donna grinned back at her. “Sounds like a plan.”

***

An hour later, the flowers were in the vase, the candles were lit, and dinner was served. Cameron and Donna enjoyed their eggplant parmesan, spinach, and angel hair pasta with two glasses of one of Donna’s favorite red wines, and a lot of happy chatter about how their weeks had been, what the girls were up to, and their weekend plans.

When they were done, Donna got up and took their plates. As she walked them back to the kitchen, she said, “I made some red velvet cake for dessert! I know that you prefer the store bought, but, what can I say, I woke up in a mood today.”

Cameron, who was in the bad habit of overeating but only when Donna or Bos cooked for her, groaned, “That sounds great and all but I might literally barf if I try to eat more right now?”

Donna put away their leftovers, and then she returned to the table with two black velvet jewelry boxes, and set them down in front of Cameron. “Then maybe you can open these first?”

Wide-eyed, Cameron stared at the boxes with undisguised terror.

“Don’t get all excited,” Donna huffed. “Neither of these boxes contains an engagement ring, the only engagement ring in this house is the one that Gordon gave me and that I refuse to ever part with.“

Cameron looked at her uncertainly. “And one of them,” Donna continued, “isn’t even jewelry.” She picked up the smaller box and held it out toward Cameron.

Cameron accepted it slowly, like it might pop open like a trick snake nut can. She opened it, and saw that it had a set of keys inside.

“I know, I know,” Donna said, sinking back into her chair. “You don’t have a key to your trailer for me. What if that’s okay though? What if the lesson the last 15 years have been trying to teach us is that reciprocity and being a good partner doesn’t have to mean everything is even steven all the time? I don’t need the key to your trailer. I know that I’m welcome there. And I’m also okay with usually calling before I come over.”

Cameron frowned at her. “Are you sure?”

“I’m positive,” Donna smiled at her. She pushed the other box toward Cameron.

Warily, Cameron picked it up, and opened the top. Inside, there were anodized silver pendants, on what looked like two anodized silver chains. One pendant was a small silver compass, and the other was a small anchor. Smiling sadly, Cameron said, “So I’ll always be able to find my way back to you?”

Gently, Donna said, “Or to wherever. You’ll never be completely lost, though. You’ll always have some help figuring out what direction to go in.”

“I don’t have anything to give you,” Cameron sighed.

With the same sad sort of smile, Donna said, “You might not have any jewelry for me, but that’s okay, because I already have all the jewelry I need. And also, my house is full of plants and fresh flowers and I have a garden full of fresh herbs and lavender out back, and I have homemade breads and hummus and preserves in the kitchen because of you. I get how that might not sound like a fair trade to some people,” she said, leaning forward and resting her elbow on the table. “ But I think it is. I think it’s more than fair.” She sighed, and then she said, “My house doesn’t feel empty the way it used to. That sounds terrible, I know. The girls used to live here. It didn’t feel empty because of them or anything that they did wrong, it felt that way because of me. But I don’t feel like that anymore. Now I wake up every day and I think, ‘Maybe things will actually be okay? Yeah, I think so.’”

Eyes starting to glisten, Cameron closed the jewelry box, and set it back down on the table. She looked back at Donna, and said, “Yeah. I know what you mean.” When Donna smiled at her, Cameron said, “I love you.”

“I know,” Donna said, wiping a tear of her own off her face. “I love you too.”

Unable to resist, Cameron asked, “Last and best?”

Donna’s smile grew broader, and brighter. “You know it.”

#LAST ONE BBYS!#extra thanks for reading and following along this year because i have been running on fumes #and i feel like it shows tbh!#femslash february #femslash february 2021 #cameron howe #donna clark #donna emerson

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silenceinthenull · 4 years ago

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Witchery (part 1?)

It started with a package. It didn't have a return address and really just showed up one day on his doorstep. At first he was hesitant to open it, but Joshua got curious and started using his puppy dog eyes and he couldn't resist. He carefully cut open the box to find what looked like an old book. Joshua, being disappointed it wasn't anything more exciting, went back to his toys as if it had never been there in this first place. He would chuckle then at his son's short attention span (something he recognized that the boy got from him) and looked the book over.

It was old. So old it was probably entirely hand written. He had never been very good at reading other people's handwriting but he was curious. He opened the book to find the phrase "may ye not use the wisdoms in this tome for misdeeds or mischief, lest ye fall prey to the folly of man."

He was very intrigued and started reading. It appeared to be a witch's spell book? He thought the spells and stories within were intriguing. He'd never seen an ancient writer use this style, but then again, he didn't study history or literature.

He found the spells and potions so intriguing he finished the book in a day, and read it over and over during the next couple weeks. By the next month he had the book memorized and was genuinely curious about witches and witchcraft, wanting to know more about what they were supposedly able to do. He looked online for more books and spells, finding very little, but he didn't mind, he had fun learning.

The first time he tried one of the spells it was a minor luck spell. It was easy to do really. All he had to do was "bathe an object of good fortune in the light of the full moon and water holding crystals of quartz." He didn't notice much after trying it until his son came home one day with a small, weak, feeble black kitten. Gordon rushed it to the vet just in time to save the poor thing. The vet constantly reaffirmed that he was very lucky that he got the kitten the help it needed when he did.

In the end Joshua named the poor thing "lucky" and Gordon couldn't bare to part from the sweet thing. Lucky went everywhere with Gordon, playing with him happily and watching over Joshua in the night. She was an excellent companion and a dear friend by the time Gordon tried another spell. This time it had been just for fun. A spell to bring about a harvest moon. Gordon "grind the bones of a creature lost to nature's cycle and spread them on the earth on the night of a new moon." Lucky was kind enough to provide several small rodents for grinding so Gordon preformed it, thinking it wouldn't work, but it would fertilize his garden at least so he figured it wouldn't hurt anyone. The next full moon was in fact a harvest moon and Gordon realized what happened.

Being ever the man of science he couldn't accept it for the pattern it was without a third instance, so he thought back to the book for a spell he could use to get immediate results... he thought of one...

He gathered the supplies the next day and on the second night of the harvest moon he performs the ritual. He makes a circle with chalk and candle wax, surrounding the entire thing in salt just to be safe, he carefully lit the pure white candles and laid out the black quartz in the proper position before backing up and quietly whispering his call.

He didn't expect a response. He didn't expect anything, but he heard it regardless and it terrified him.

"... huh?"

Gordon looked up at the man(?) Before him in shock.

"Bro, why'd you summon me? I was taking a nice nap between gaming sessions... had to wake a bro up..."

The part that confused him the most was his outfit. It was a security guard's outfit. He expected something more... animalistic... when he decided to "summon a guardian."...

The man was unaffected by the salt as he walked right up to Gordon and looked him in the eyes.

"Got a passport?"

"... what?"

"Passport. Do you have a passport."

"Uh... yeah... inside..."

The man turns and abruptly heads for the house and Gordon runs over to stop him, not wanting this stranger near his son. They argue for a moment before the man agrees to wait outside for the passport. When Gordon goes and brings it back to him he only gives it a quick glance before passing it back and disappearing entirely... well that was strange.

After figuring out magic was real, and that he could reliably use it, Gordon took to practicing in small ways during the day, drawing magic circles in notebooks, quietly mumbling incantations and mixing weak potions, though he never tested them on himself, only ever on plants. (they were either good fertilizers or herbicides. There is no in between... poor poor cactus...) he never did any of this together unless he was trying to do something specific.

One day, as Gordon was cleaning and cooking and tending to his new herb garden before his son got home he decided it was becoming too much. He started thinking of an incantation to summon a "helper" as he made his son an after daycare snack and without even thinking started mumbling, making the necessary circle absentmindedly with his son's food. Unlike summoning the man before this was very flashy, with sudden winds whipping away some of his son's chips and the loud snap of sharp jaws slamming down on them in a flash of light. Gordon stared at the massive dog in front of him as it snatched up his son's lunch and licked the plate (and his fingers) clean... oh right. The spell to summon a helper involved a sacrifice of food, a simple circle and a soothingly quiet incantation... he really should look back through the book next time.

"Uh... hi..."

The dog stared for a moment before barking and wagging its tail happily.

"Are you the helper big guy? I just needed some help around the house..."

The dog perks up and quickly gets to work moving furniture and sweeping the floors with it's big fluffy tail. Gordon is shocked it understood him, but not complaining as he makes his son, and the new friend, some more food. The dog works quickly and Gordon is Surprisingly pleased with the results. It straightened everything, dusted and swept all on it's own and Gordon happily pampered it with pets and some extra deli meat with it's delicious rewards.

Just as Gordon was about to head out the dog's ears perked up and it ran out back barking loudly. Gordon, worried for the creature followed it out, shocked and terrified when he saw the fucking hell portal in his back yard! He rushed over to the dog and grabbed it's collar before it could jump in, only to be dragged in as well. Gordon closed his eyes as the passing scenery made his head spin and his stomach churn.

Suddenly, the dog was gone and Gordon felt himself falling. He tried to open his eyes only for his incomprehensible surroundings to make him nearly vomit. He slammed his eyes tight just before he felt something grab the back of his shirt and pull.

"You're not supposed to be here bro. Don't got the right clearance."

He couldn't bare to open his eyes again, but he knew he recognized that voice from somewhere. He felt something dragging him for a moment before he was gentle set down in some grass and his eyes shot open just in time to see the hell portal closing in front of him...

What the fuck just happened... he had no Time to think about it as his alarm to go get Joshua went off and he rushed inside to get his keys.

#hlvrai #benrey #gordon freeman #sunkist #joshua freeman #fic #witchery

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urbanteeth · 5 years ago

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Fluffcember 2019

Hosted by: @paper-shield-and-wooden-sword @siarven @raiswanson

Notes: ay I’m lowkey late in this but! It’s here and it’s done! Some angst but it’s in general v Soft and uhh I’m actually pretty proud of it!

Character: Oliver West

Word Count: 1193

Boats & Birds // Gregory And The Hawk

The cold wind nipped at Oliver’s nose and cheeks and frosted his breath as it left his body in a deep sigh of contentment. Hands tucked into his pockets, he strolled down the sidewalk under a sky still existing in the liminal blue of twilight. Autumn still crowned the trees in gold and crimson but hints of snow powdered days tip-toed in on cloudy white paws, lengthening the dark of night bit by bit as season slipped away. Already, lights twinkled from windows and wrapped around mailboxes. The air of festivity smelled like burning wood smoke trailing lazily from chimneys, hummed quietly in bursts of dizzying excitement as sleepy families stirred from their warm beds. The holidays brought as much chaos as they did rest and the job always tasted so much more bitter in the winter.

Becoming jaded, detaching himself from the job, was not a shield he wanted to raise. But sometimes, sometimes, the pavement stained red too deeply and the final, terrible, anguished plea stared back from eyes too much like glass and the gut-wrenching cries of the unfortunate first to get the news haunted his mind when the silence was too void-like black, consuming. Sometimes, he welcomed the tiny seed of misanthropy that settled roots in his chest.

But always, Oliver never wanted to cultivate it. He couldn’t bring himself to peacefully coexist with the weed that sprung from those tiny roots. Oh, it would be easy, so easy, to let it grow as it would. And yet, he’d seen too many hollow eyes, some living with hardly a distinction from the dead, to know better, to grow instead an active fear of the yawning, hungry void.

So, when the days shortened and the cold winds descended from the mountains, howling their lonesome despair, and the job began to look a little meaner, he’d do a little gardening of the soul.

Weaving his way around an army of potted plants, herbs, a handful of fruit trees, he felt the warmth wrapping the tiny house before he even pushed open the door made rough from paint chipping off in big, coral pink flakes.

Immediately, arms pulled him close and squeezed, Korean permeated with joy filling his ears, tugging an ear to ear grin from his lips.

“Hi, momma,” he said with a laugh, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

She gathered his hands in her own, placing hers over his to defrost his fingers. He stooped a little lower for her to press a kiss against his forehead. “Oh, let me look at you!” She cupped his face, her hands rough and calloused but oh so warm against his skin, taking in his smile, cheeks red from the cold. “Just as I thought,” she said gravely, patting his cheeks. “Handsome as ever. Let’s get you warmed up.”

“Aw, you know I learned from the best.” He followed her to the small table pushed up against one of the big windows overviewing the town’s massive mirror-like lake. Oliver settled into one of the chairs, his mother disappearing back into the kitchen and reappearing with two steaming mugs of fragrant tea. She pushed one in his direction before taking a sip from her own.

“Talk to me, Ollie. What’s wrong?”

Oliver looped his fingers around the mug’s handle and cradled it in his hands, breathing in the spicy scent of ginger. “What do you mean?” He tilted his head, careful to keep his tone light and cheery.

His mother sat across from him and set her mug to the side, hands folding together, her joy at seeing him diminishing into a soft worry playing over her features. “Oh come on, Ollie! What kind of mother would I be if I didn’t know when something was bothering my son?”

He set the mug down, hesitant, half-torn. For a moment he imagined letting the ugliness in his chest spill like blood. But he couldn’t do that to her, his loving momma who he knew worried deeply about him every time he was called out to a scene, who would stay up with him without ever asking why, who both cried with him when he found himself falling, falling, falling and helped him pick the pieces off the floor.Tough as she was, he wouldn’t allow it to plague her as it did him. “I...I can’t really talk about it.”

But he knew from the way his hurt reflected in her eyes that she knew. He didn’t have to say it. “Does it have to do with your work?”

Silence grew and stretched between them and Oliver found himself staring at his hands, unsure at how to fill it. “It’s just…” he began, then stopped. How could he begin to give the ugliness a name when he himself barely recognized the inner workings? “It hurts, momma,” he finally breathed, unable to keep the quiver out of his voice, “to know people can– can do… all of that.”

“Oh, Ollie.” She slipped his hand in between hers, squeezing gently. And in a moment as quick and sharp as a snap of someone’s fingers, he was 17 again, sitting at the same table, his mother running a thumb softly over bruised knuckles. He traced the wood grain with his eyes. If he looked at her, he’d be truly in danger of crying.

“How can people do such horrible things?”

She sighed. “Oh...I wish I could have an answer for that, Oliver. Some people simply choose to be cruel.” She paused and ran her thumb over his knuckles. “But, here’s what I do know. You, sweetheart? You and that big heart of yours? The world thrives because of people like you.”

“Do you...do you think so?” He swallowed around the lump forming in his throat.

“I might not have a fancy college degree, but this I know to be true. Every day you choose not to be cruel is a day you have already won. Don’t ever let anyone tell you this heart of yours doesn’t make a difference, my son.”

He blinked, vision blurring from watery tears threatening to come spilling forward. He cleared his throat, wrestling back the tears, the corners of his mouth upturning into a smile instead. “Thank you.”

She gave his hand a final pat before releasing him. “Well? Are you hungry?”

“Oh, man. For your cooking? Always.”

“Think you can handle making an egg this time, hmm?” Her eyes glittered with an amused light.

He scoffed, sniffing and wiping his eyes on his sleeve. “I’m hurt. I’m the Gordon Ramsey of cooking eggs.”

Together, they fell into routine, every step and every breath and every quip and laugh weaving into a blanket of familiar comfort. The ease of being together, their work one born from love, the feeling of finally, finally coming home bloomed like summer in his chest. Outside, a low, rising sun gilded the sky in peach and gold and pink.

“I love you, momma.”

“I love you too, Ollie.”

And sometimes, the world was simply that: a bowl of rice, the scent of cooking meat, and eggs cracked and sizzling in a pan, all while outside, the day began anew.

TTW Taglist (click here to be added): @cluelessbuttercup @dogwrites @goldfinvhs @tragedyshow @tenacious-scripturient @diwrites @mirror-of-too-many-books @isanyonetoknow @makealltheboymoosegowahhh @waterproof-pages @velvetinewitch @wreckageofus @thewalkingnerdx @woodhouse-jay @writeouswriter @dashy-mcdasher @drist-n-dither @klywrites

#to the wolves #ch. oliver west #fluffcember #fluffcember 2019 #fluffcember2019 #yeah i cried writing this #and what about it

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katherinehorn · 6 years ago

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The Old Harbour

I contemplated just posting this essay without context, but it just didn't feel right. I wrote this two weeks ago and although it was a creative writing assignment for my English Literature course, it meant a lot more to me than that. The task was to write roughly 2000 words on a specific place or hour of the day or night. We were instructed to create a story by showing the reader our world rather than simply telling them about it. I think I really needed to write about how I was feeling in constructive way and this assignment definitely gave me the space to do that. But anyway, here it is:

The Old Harbour

I hate Gordon's Bay, I always have. Yes, the harbour may have a stunning view of the sea and it may lead to one of the most beautiful coastal drives in the world. But the town itself has very little aesthetic appeal. The houses are all built with strange, flat iron roofs to withstand the perpetual winds and the architecture looks as though it were designed by an unimaginative twelve year old boy. Most of the shopping centres are run down and have an appearance similar to that of a kitchen floor that had never been scrubbed clean. Even the roads take on a kind of dustiness that only just misses the notion of a charming dirt road.

The civilians here are no beauties either. The town's eclectic mix of people might seem quirky to someone else, but I have found no love for the conservative, bored or sheltered people that roam through the area. For starters, there always seemed to be too much drama over nothing. I frequently heard stories of people having children too young, or teenagers trying to run away from home, or people getting into toxic and violent relationships. Being in Gordon’s Bay was like being in a cliché soapie such as7de Laan. The adults I have met here are the kind of people who read everything in Huis Genoot, obtained all their political views from Facebook posts and lived for Saturday braais and impractical manicures. The teenagers, on the other hand, either have a nauseating resemblance to their parents or a rebellious boredom that usually lead to an interest in hard drugs that I could never quite relate to. I will admit I do not live here and I am sure there are many people who do not fall into these stereotypes. But you see, I have only ever met five people from Gordon's Bay that I actively like.

My dislike for the town, I suppose, stems from the fact that I have never met anyone who lives there, who isn’t unhappy.

However, at the same time I am deeply fascinated by this town. I love hearing stories about the group of kids who used to climb underneath the restaurants in Harbour Island to break into the hotel and about how on one occasion they were caught in the swimming pool and chased all the way to the closest suburb. Or about the woman who lived near the old harbour who used to burn herbs and perform tarot card readings. Or even the sad stories about the woman who had been beaten by her husband and left bleeding on the side of the main road where she was ignored by all passersby with the exception of two teenage boys.

The saving grace of Gordon's Bay is its beachfront. When walking along it I felt like a child, excited by each new thing and constantly finding a fresh thrill whenever I stepped inside Aladdin’s Cave or climbed down Bikini Beach wall to reach the tidal pool. The coastline was an adventure of warm water bottles, crisps and wind that smothers your face like a blind person feeling out the shape of your nose. It was a freedom that skipped over the rock pools until the coastline faded into raging waters beneath Faure Marine Drive. It was kissing a curly haired boy with a mouth dried from the sun and the salt. I spent many summer days jumping from those rocks and winding through crowds of every type of person.

Now, looking back, I wonder if I loved those days so much because of the great love I had for that curly haired boy.

My most treasured memory of the town, however, took place long after the warmth of December had dwindled away. It was the 16th of June and it had been a lazy day of unwinding at the end of the semester in front of a TV screen while my miniature schnauzer lay stretched out beside me. I was restless. I needed company and had driven for half an hour to obtain it.

My best friend lived in a glass house that lay in the very centre of Gordon's Bay. He was my only connection to the town, without him I would never have been there in June. In fact I would only have visited the town once, when I slept over at friend in 2016.

When the lights went off that day I had been sitting on his bed fiddling with his hair and trying desperately to convince him that he'd done enough studying for the day. And although I had not yet convinced him, it seemed I had convinced the universe. The power outage was a gift that nudged us to return to our coastline that I longed for so earnestly.

We decided to join our friends at the pub on Beach Road and so, with a rustle of keys and scarves, we jumped into his old Hyundai Getz and it wheezed us down the mountainside. As we turned into the usually bustling Sir Lowry Lane, a cold darkness greeted us. Much like the rest of the town, it was a street I never normally felt comfortable in. But the new darkness of the town comforted me. The sharp architecture retreated into the gloom and the noises that so often overwhelmed me scurried back to their homes. I felt my worries cease their bubbling and nestle themselves at the bottom of my stomach as I nestled into the car chair.

We stared at the pub for at least fifteen minutes when we arrived, neither one of us talking. The sign that usually flashed the words "The Dock" hung damply and barely noticeable above the small glass panes that hid the interior. We could see the dim lights of candles and cellphones dancing across the glass and hear the laughter that trickled out onto the street. With the usual blare of karaoke night missing, an eeriness trapped us inside the parking lot. It was as though we were seeing the town for the first time, as though the darkness were unveiling all the complexities that every day life glossed over. We had no wish to explore it.

Thankfully the coastline had not lost its familiarity and thus we chose to wonder down to the sand and leave the tired pub behind us. We skirted around the sea, playing between the lines the tide created as it swept in and out. But still the distractions of the world seemed too close to us and we slid back into the car and meandered further up beach road.

We parked outside the navy base and skipped down to the old harbour. Despite its strange comfort I still felt scared in the dark, there were too many shadows lurking behind empty cars and fences. So I clung to my guide, for he knew the area like the back of his hand. I trusted him wholeheartedly, for better or for worse.

He lead me round the back of the yacht club and hid me in his shadow when we noticed how it stood open. There were voices inside, Afrikaans ones, and they echoed out indistinguishably to my ears. I heard someone flipping switches irritably. We pressed on.

On the other side of the building we reached a large iron gate that was chained loosely shut. I'd never seen it before and was so irritated with its sudden appearance that I stepped out from my hiding place. They had fenced off the pier for the construction of the new desalination plant. I thought about how I had crawled through one of the construction pipes in January and about how peculiar the world had seemed inside there. The wind had funnelled so strangely through the pipe that I had thought I was going to cry at the other-worldly sound it created. It was what I'd imagined it would be like to be trapped in a void and I was terrified.

I shook the memory off and looked to my guide for a plan of action. He chuckled quietly and slid the gate open wide enough for us to sneak through. It was like the uncovering of Narnia in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

We giggled as we raced the wind across the concrete, leaping over pipes and twirling around abandoned equipment. For a while we explored the narrow landscape, crawling in between the nesting dolosse and investigating the way that the moonlight glittered over the yachts. I don't remember us talking during this time, although I'm sure we did. We always do. But that night I felt particularly connected to him in our near silence. It felt good to have someone I could be quiet around; someone with whom I could share the world but still experience it separately. I was suddenly glad for the gate; it had kept the rest of the world out.

Eventually we reached the lighthouse at the tip of the pier. It was darkest and windiest here. Not even the brightest car light could reach us. I stood silently at the edge of it, my feet slipping across the damp moss in slow motion. I watched the way the sea tumbled and rolled against the harbour and traced the path that the moon illuminated across it. I marvelled at the black and silver liquid and thought about how never-ending it was. I felt rooted to the earth in a way that I had never felt before. It was as though the slime had grown through my feet and torn out my soul so that it could be buried beneath the bellowing of the tide. Not even the winds could move me.

Even in remembering that moment it feels as though I am still staring at that water, as though I had never stopped and would never be able surrender that feeling of empty peace. But the truth is I did stop staring, I had turned around in search of the boy I love. But as I did I realised how a part of the landscape he was, he sunk into it, tumbled beneath the waves and burst into air like the chill that flew through my hair. His own wild curls echoed the endless movement of the coastline, the dryness of its summer and the uncertainty of its adventures. He could never be separated from that place; it would follow him wherever he went.

As we walked back to the car, the lights switched on and the humming of the world began again. I knew that I was slowly losing a dream that I would never be able to return to. But still, I climbed back into the car and drove towards the inevitable future. That choice will always be a mistake, for now Gordon's Bay will remain an impossible past that I will never reach and never fail to love.

✬✮✭

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thejonzone · 4 years ago

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Jon Writes a Year-End List

My favorite songs of 2020, alphabetically by artist

Bedouine (Margo Guryan cover)- The Hum

The original Guryan version is good but Bedouine’s take is cleaner, all the better to emphasize Guryan’s blissful songwriting. I could listen to the chords in the chorus forever.

Bob Dylan- I’ve Made Up My Mind to Give My Heart to You

It’s nice to hear Bob sing a yearning and clear-eyed love song. And the way he stretches out his words gives the whole thing a confidence that’s easy to get lost in.

Boldy James- Giant Slide

Boldy had a great year, and it’s The Price of Tea in China with Alchemist producing that stood out to me.

Empty Country- Becca

I don’t go to music festivals anymore, but listening to this album makes me dream of hearing it live, while being dehydrated, sweaty, feet hurting, holding in a p*op, a late afternoon sunburn loading. I want the whole thing!!

fawning, Rui Gabriel ft. Jack Riley- God

Toss it on the cloudy day walking playlist!

Frances Quinlan- Went to LA

Great cathartic yell in this one. Quinlan builds up a palpable tension here. It rocks.

Judy ft. Jack Dolan, jommis- Say What U Mean

You’ve got to imagine these fellas knew they had put a few catchy melodies down while trying to out-croon each other.

Kurt Vile ft. John Prine (John Prine cover)- How Lucky

A Prine acolyte with a feature from the man himself. RIP.

Lala Lala, Grapetooth- Valentine

Kind of like a slow-dance song at nightmare prom. I love the percussion and Frankel’s villainously-low voice.

Lil Durk- Street Affection

The range of emotions Durk can access and scroll through is impressive.

Miranda Winters- Little Baby Dead Bird

Scuzzy guitar and violin create a hypnotic effect in this evocative dirge. Miranda Winters is such a good singer. Check out her main band, Melkbelly-- they put out a great album this year!

Nap Eyes- Mark Zuckerberg

Two guitars: one is pointy, the other is chugging. That is the correct way to do two guitars.

Noname- Song 33

This song is 70 seconds. 70! Noname casually negates J. Cole and the song isn’t even about him. She’s so great.

Ratboys- I Go Out at Night

Julia Steiner is on her The Hours shit in this melancholic fantasy of leaving and not returning.

Rio da Yung OG, Lil Yachty- 1v1

I like how Yachty comes in on his verse! It’s been fun to see him back in action with his new Michigan friends. Rio is the star here, though. And Enrgy too.

Soccer Mommy- yellow is the color of her eyes

Sophia Allison’s delivery of “The tiny lie I told to myself is making me hollow” might be my line of the year.

Swamp Dogg- Memories

The whole of Sorry You Couldn’t Make It is great, but for Swamp Dogg, who has covered John Prine, to work with the man before he died is a special accomplishment, and we’re better off that it’s recorded.

Tall Juan- Irene

One of my favorite 2020 releases. And I’ll be a bit vulnerable here folks….when I am walking outside and this song comes on, I push my butt out a little bit and walk like I have rhythm and purpose.

Tierra Whack- Dora

I’m so excited to see what Tierra Whack does, from her beat selection to how she jumps between flow and cadence. She understands herself so well.

Non-2020-specific Music I Enjoyed, in Superlative Form

Group Vocal Performance Most Likely to Pierce Your Heartless Facade

Yesu Ka Mkwebaze

Best Song to Listen to if You are an 1850��s-era whaler in Your Feels

Mary Ann

Favorite Duet (Not Blood-Related)

Emmylou Harris and Herb Pedersen (but mostly Emmylou) create such an intricate and gorgeous melody on “If I Could Only Win Your Love”. Pedal steel heads and mandolin freaks, eat up.

Favorite Duet (Blood-related)

The Louvin Brothers- When I Stop Dreaming

Any longtime friends of the show know I’m a big fan of the singing duo The Louvin Brothers. They’ve got that golden country tone but it’s the blood harmony that turns these guys into something else entirely.

And here’s the kicker, folks. Emmylou covered When I Stop Dreaming! How coincidental for all of us reading this End of Year list…. The Louvins are my preferred version, but Emmylou, that you could help me make this connection is enough, dayenu!

Most Surprising Use of a Song in a Network TV Show

"Yama Yama" by the Yamasuki Singers, Fargo Season 2

When I was a dishwasher at St. James Cheese Co., late 2016ish, this CD was in our back of house music rotation. It is a magical album-- a Japanese children's choir with French pop production (think a bunch of bells and shit). I never learned the name of the album while working there and it fell out of my mind until years later when, after remembering how much I loved it, realized I had no idea how to find it. The pain of typing different spellings of “japanese children’s choir” into google for days on end.....I literally yelled when Fargo used this in its Season 2 big boy shootout. *chef’s kiss*

Best Album by a Spiritually Hungry Musical Genius, Lapping Her Contemporaries in Arrangement, Theme, and Songwriting, Gone Before Her Time

Judee Sill’s self-titled debut.

Best Use of a Second Keyboard in A Keyboard Solo

Fountains of Wayne’s Red Dragon Tattoo

Do I mean to say synthesizer? Not sure. RIP Adam Schlesinger and long live FoW. What a loss.

Best Vibes/ Song I’d Most Want to Show Ezra Koenig so That We’d Bond & Become Friends

Zibote

Best Lyrics Written by a Jew in 1920’s NYC Being Sung by Willie Nelson

Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea / to the open arms of the sea

Favorite TV Shows

Ramy

-Second season shook its focus on the titular character and oh am I thankful. Not that Ramy himself isn’t great, he is, but the entire cast here deserves attention. The Uncle Naseem episode. The Uncle Naseem episode. Ahem. The Uncle Naseem episode.

Joe Pera Talks with You

Lovecraft Country

-Small gripes and complicated plotlines aside, this anthology connecting gothic horror, racism, and American history is phenomenal.

Small Axe

-The second installment in this series, Lovers Rock, which takes place at a party, is the vicarious shot in the arm you deserve, you little extroverted thing you.

I May Destroy You

Betty

The Last Dance

-The first Bulls game I ever went to was the first game *without* Michael Jordan, at the beginning of the ‘98-’99 season. Bad timing.

The Chi

Schitt’s Creek

-This show was never about the plot. Am I allowed to say that? I’ve never cared less for a plot and more for a cast. Catherine O’Hara is in her own league above us all.

Jon Writes a Year-End List

In 2019, my roommate June and I took a road trip through the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I was out of a relationship, happily or unhappily I wasn’t sure yet, but along the way I downloaded Tinder hoping to meet a local who’d be excited to make out with me. There wasn’t much bite on my line, but by the time we reached Marquette, largely due to my good looks and charisma I’d orchestrated some type of group date with June, me, a girl from Tinder, and her friend.

We met at a dingy karaoke bar and drank for cheap. Nobody wanted to hear me sing, but I got on stage anyway and gave “Willin” by Little Feat a go. Some guy at the bar in a maroon work shirt looked at me, scoffed, and left to smoke outside. The four of us weren’t hitting it off, even with alcohol. I and the friend made a plan to sing “Mommas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow up to Be Cowboys'', but she quickly abandoned the duet after we had begun, citing a lack of vibes.

But we kept singing and drinking and hours later I was leaning against the bar, waiting to order, standing next to maroon-shirt guy who had so easily shrugged off my existence earlier. What caught my eye as I stood next to him was a Star of David tattoo on his forearm. And sure enough, the name tag stitched onto his shirt identified him as “Isaac”. Well I’ll goddamn be-- this guy was frickin Jewish! I was shocked-- I assumed he was goy in the same way I assumed everyone I ran into up there would be.

For just one unconscious assumption (I’m the only Jewish person in this Marquette karaoke bar) to be wrong felt great. My assumptions are really awful. I assumed maroon-shirt hated my guts. I assumed these two girls we were drinking with thought I was a loser too. I assume people don’t like me or respect me or have any interest in getting to know me. I tell awful stories about myself to myself, and my assumptions about the world are limiting and boring! With patience, “guy at bar who kinda scowled at me” had all of a sudden turned into “my new friend Isaac” who, after a few minutes of conversation, I “asked to bum a cigarette from.”

One of my favorite shows of 2020 was Joe Pera Talks With You. I still remember watching Joe Pera’s stand-up for the first time, and then rewatching and rewatching, savoring his cadence. He dressed and spoke like a grandpa, replete with pitch-perfect, kinda-gross mouth sounds, stutters, and low-but-driving energy. It’s a good bit, and Joe has morphed it into probably the funniest, sweetest, and least-pandering show of 2020. What I love about this show is its foundational belief that anyone can surprise you, you just need to give yourself time to notice.

I didn’t end up making out with anyone but I did wake up the next morning with the worst hangover of my life. Wake up, barf, whimper. As June drove us out of Marquette, I could barely keep my eyes open. I did notice, however, a massive, wooden structure jutting out into Lake Superior.

It is this same Lake Superior structure that Joe Pera Talks With You fixates on for its first shot of Season 2. Yes, this is an Adult Swim show that takes place in none other than Marquette, Michigan! Which is weird. Think about other movies, shows, or books that take place in the U.P. You can’t! Even zooming out to include the larger Upper-Great Lakes region leaves us with an almost-empty net: The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald by Gordon Lightfoot and titular Gatsby’s origin story on Lake Superior. These are stories of hard living and life and death on the dangerous Great Lakes. But neither of those are specific to the Upper Peninsula.

Regions are an easy if reductive lens with which to attempt to view and understand people. In 2020, broad and sweeping generalizations about large swaths of people continued to gain power. There was the movie adaptation of JD Vance’s ahistorical Hillbilly Elegy. Woolly-eyed liberals trotted out fake maps of a preferred America that holds only the “good” blue states, not at all engaging in the history of racism and voter suppression that got us here. Besides the fact that Georgia went blue. And Democratic strongholds like California, New York, and Chicago betray any notion of a “better” America. The sins of this nation are not cordoned off into one section or time zone, no region is monolithic, and most importantly, no person can be explained away with a quick sentence.

There is no regional monolith more widely misunderstood than the Midwestern gestalt. Fargo (the show) does a great job of serializing this one type of Midwestern character-- they say “oh sure, happy to help” and they’re murderers. So for Joe Pera to settle his show in the U.P. is a fun choice. Most Americans are probably hard-pressed to conjure an accurate mental picture of who the U.P. is, so Pera creates his own flavor of a seemingly-recognizable small Midwestern town.

In the first episode, Joe walks us through the bean arch he’s growing. Why grow snap beans? “Beans are straightforward.” Straightforwardness, or the appearance of, is central to Pera’s charm. Pera’s shtick is walking the audience through a basic task that can serve as a metaphor for a larger existential question. This conceit isn’t new to Pera, but it has been en vogue recently, with shows like Andy Daly’s Review and the new HBO show How To with John Wilson. These shows present a simple stated goal that obfuscates a larger, more complex grapple.

Joe Pera Talks With You is incredible and endearing because of the genuine tone Pera gives his tight-knit Marquette. We’re getting deranged lunatics like Conner O’Malley and Dan Licata to write jokes for 70-year old Michigan grandmas at a salon. The show trades in the perceived Midwestern folksiness for a punchline, yet doesn’t lose itself in irony or resentment.

Every character in the Joe Pera universe has the opportunity to be profound. Pera gives every character the patience they deserve; even O’Malley’s berserk Joe Rogan listening-caricature Mike Melsky gets incredible moments of vulnerability. It’s a rare comedy: self-aware but not self-obsessed, sweet but not gross, and uniquely funny.

Nowhere else on TV are you going to see such consistently great acting. Some of the best working comedians are in this season. Conner O’Malley has found a way to tap into his unsettling grotesque that is a pleasure to watch, playing characters at the ends of their ropes, shrieking. Jo Firestone is hilarious and essential as Joe’s doom-prepper girlfriend Sarah. We get guest stars like genius Carmen Christopher. Even one-line role players like Joe’s teacher-coworker, who says Joe and Sarah go together “like desk and chair,” knock it out of the park.

The questions at the heart of Talks With You feel more pronounced in a year of death and isolation. How do we connect with people? How can we really be there for our loved ones? How can we feel comfortable in our own skin? The show came out pre-pandemic but Pera’s touch and pacing is universal.

It’s difficult not to compare Talks With You to How to with John Wilson. The two shows have a lot in common. Both protagonists are soft-spoken, and speak at an arrhythmic clip. John Wilson’s voice is affected just like Pera’s; both vocal deliveries are meant to engender trust by signaling to us that they’re lacking some social confidence. But I don’t buy Wilson’s shtick as much as Pera’s.

John Wilson’s show is not straightforward in the same way Pera’s is, and the show suffers under the added weight of pretense. Wilson’s tangents lead us to places that barely fit under the established thematic umbrella and feel forced. On memory, Wilson’s adventure with the Mandela Effect turns from fascinating to boring as the truthers devolve into sketch characters, viewing simple spelling errors with magnifying glasses. “How to Cover Your Furniture” spends an upsettingly long amount of time with an anti-circumcision advocate as Wilson works through the question of how much we are allowed to change parts of other people. Meant to appear as if they effortlessly fell into place, these characters feel shoe-horned in.

Both characters and shows are performative authenticity, and Joe Pera and John Wilson’s whole deal is their status as observer. This year, many of us have become observers. I know I have: unemployed, unable to see people, watching death counts climb, sending money to various bail funds and rent relief to people and organizations near and far. There is a responsibility to being an observer. It is not some callous task. Being an effective observer means allowing your subject the space they need to be as they are and not foisting your own nonsense onto them.

In Joe Pera’s America, it’s understood that everyone is weird. By virtue of being human, we are all weird, off, we do confusing things, and say dumb stuff that doesn’t make sense. Even you’re a weird freak. John Wilson’s subjects seem like circus animals, squeezed in front of the camera for their fucked-up little flip. I can’t shake the feeling that John Wilson is making fun of the people he’s observing. Pera’s observations are rooted in the fairness that comes from seeing humanity in people-- every person has an equal chance of surprising you with how weird they are if you just make them comfortable and let them talk. We owe that to each other.

To be fair, these shows are also very different. Wilson’s found-footage, documentary style is ingenious, hilarious, and completely not the vibe that Pera and Co. are going for at all. And region here is everything. Wacky stuff happening in NYC? Eh, isn’t that par for the course over there? Wait, a show set in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula? Ok...now that I’ve never seen.

Obviously I was wrong about Isaac in Marquette, just as any broad assumption about a region and its people will be. I actually learned that Jews have a significant relationship to the U.P. And I found similarities between my own Jewish history, covering a similarly nebulous area of the Rust Belt/Midwest, and my U.P. cousins. Yes, home was closer than I thought, even across the length of Lake Michigan. Yes, people don’t just hate my guts. Yes, we can overcome lazy assumptions and we can even connect with people. We can make a better world. It just requires patience and listening.

Now, on to my thoughts regarding Fiona Apple’s landmark album Fetch the Bolt Cutters...

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chronotopes · 7 years ago

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i got memed by @pilferingapples

answers (and perhaps questions!) below the cut!

1. you can have any three superpowers you want, no unpleasant side effects, no pesky physics ruining things, standard comic-book-supers level full power. what are you picking?

it’s down to time travel, flight, or teleportation. uh.. time travel would be really sick but probably paradoxy in a kind of freaky way? so i’m saying flight so long as flight can get me places faster than walking which combines its benefits with that of teleportation. flight it is.

2. do you use your powers for Good or for Awesome?

honestly... mainly for mundane things. like, for hitting up audrey whenever i want and for getting places easily.

3. if you could wear whatever you wanted, with social judgement/practicality of any sort being a complete nonissue, what would you wear?

i’d be channeling terrible nineteenth century men literally all the time. from the “showing up at the door after a Wild Romanticism Party, in my shirtsleeves” look to something more polished. but still overall what i imagine the geneva ‘16 kind of aesthetique to be. that or armor of some sort.

4. what’s your favorite holiday?

new year’s eve or bust!!! but not like the boring american kind where you get drunk and stress out about who to kiss or whatever, rather the nice russian kind where you.. probably also get drunk, but ALSO just fucking. roll all important holidays into one and fucking throw down. and like give each other presents also with the whole “secular christmas” vibe.

5. what would your Ideal Home be like? (again, cost and physics and practicality not an issue)

i lack the imagination to come up with really wild things for these? every time i picture my Ideal Home it’s either a) an apartment in chicago and i live there with someone i love and it’s relatively spacious and well-lit and within walking distance of some nice exciting things, or b) a lighthouse on the wild coast of maine where nobody will ever find me or my future lesbian wife, and we have twenty cats which i’m NOT allergic to and an herb garden and we grow wild strawberries.

6. if you could cast yourself into any au setting and have any role you wanted, what would it/you be?

small child voice uh i want to be in starfleet. i have no starfleet-adjacent skills but nonetheless. i can be like. an expert in alien literature. in such a way that makes me a helpful consultant to alien sociologists. hey it’s probably helpful in certain hyperspecific contexts!!! (sideways look at 2x22 the wire). anyway i want to be in starfleet and all my friends are also there? except it’s not during the dominion war or whatever because i don’t want us all to be traumatized.

7. you get to make one law that will absolutely be implemented on a national level for at least ten years, full government support guaranteed. what is it?

uh... universal health care? not to be predictable but that’s the answer that came to mind. i can hit up People Who Know Shit for like, details on how to make it the most effective thing possible because i myself don’t know a damn thing but in concept that’s what it would be

8. is there a historical/cultural figure you think gets a bad rap? maligned, misrepresented, misrepresented, unfairly forgotten? what would you like to say about them?

aah i think . i think a.e. housman in most cases (i’m overlooking tumblr niches here!) is overlooked as one of the staples of Gay Edwardian Poetry and misrepresented as being Dry and Dull and Sad only even tho. surely that is not all he was! that’s what i’ve said about him, what i’d like to say TO him is don’t fuck with straight guys alfred it’s gonna be okay

9. how would you describe your Aesthetic if you absolutely had to?

rugged natural wildernesses that i’ve never been to, autumnal antics, vaguely historical things that don’t really commit to being historical, heavy-handed light imagery(tm) etc

10. what is your favorite monster? individual or kind, either way!

lord george gordon byron

11. you get one kind of magic - necromancy, cooking-related, etc - what would it be?

i want to be able to cross into alternate universes and i’d use it exclusively to watch all the au canonically gay versions that exist of things i like. and to hit up au versions of audrey all mysteriously like when julian “universe prime directive whom” bashir finds o’brien and is like “back in real life, we’re BEST FRIENDS” which is by the way a blatant lie at the time lmao.

anyway i don’t think i have eleven whole people i don’t have unfounded anxieties about tagging, but @themainannoyance @rileyball2 @zulubunsen @scary-faery @butchantigone @clownprophet @cryptyper and like @ anyone else who decides these questions speak to them spiritually

what’s a music album u think is a vital piece of art that u could write a paper about if you wanted to

a thing you like about the month of november

favorite theater experience

if you could travel to any time period where would you go and what would u see

who’s a historical figure you would physically fight given the chance

excluding technology, what physical possession of yours do you most value

if you had to spend a day in the life of your twelve-year-old self what would you do

if you could live literally anywhere where would you go

you can rescue one dead fictional character, fundamentally altering the canon of the established work but not altering the timeline of real life in any way. who do you pick

what songs would you use to describe your mood of the moment

rank the star trek captains from best to worst using whatever pre-existing information you have about star trek captains; if you need to, look them up and rank them based solely based on the vibe you get from them.

#information about myself #and some truly cursed questions

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networkingdefinition · 5 years ago

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Basil Quotes

Official Website: Basil Quotes

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• A man taking basil from a woman will love her always. – Thomas More • And I did a movie called Basil with Jared Leto and Christian Slater. – Claire Forlani

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Basil', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_basil').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_basil img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Bad Girl!” She chided. “I’m pretty sure Boris is a boy,” I said. “Oh, I know,” Mrs. Basil E. assured me. “I just like to keep him confused,” Then she and Boris headed off with my future. – David Levithan • Basil Fawlty was an easy character for me. For some reason, portraying a mean, uptight, incompetent bully comes naturally to me. – John Cleese • Basil Stag Hare tut-tutted severely as he remarked to Ambrose Spike, ‘Tch, tch. Dreadful table manners. Just look at those three wallahs, kicking up a hullaballoo like that! Eating’s a serious business. – Brian Jacques • Basil..discovered a guild of abortionists, or sagae, that were doing a booming trade in Caesarea, and the surrounding environs. They provided herbal potions, pessaries, and even surgical remedies for women who wished to avoid child-bearing. The bodies of the children were then harvested and sold to cosmetologists in Egypt, who used the collagen for the manufacture of various beauty creams. – Grant George • Conscience and cowardice are really the same things, Basil. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all. – Oscar Wilde • Ernie Hayes, Jimmy Lewis, and either Belton Evans or Khalil Mahdi on drums [were in Sweet Basil]. All those guys really took care of me. – Jon Gordon • Going to Europe as a budding cook opened my eyes to food in a different way. When I got to Italy, the first thing I did was put my little basil plants in the ground and watch them turn into big, healthy bushes. – Frances Mayes • I believe in the magic of preparation. You can make just about any foods taste wonderful by adding herbs and spices. Experiment with garlic, cilantro, basil and other fresh herbs on vegetables to make them taste great. – Jorge Cruise • I have been right, Basil, haven’t I, to take my love out of poetry, and to find my wife in Shakespeare’s plays? Lips that Shakespeare taught to speak have whispered their secret in my ear. I have had the arms of Rosalind around me, and kissed Juliet on the mouth. – Oscar Wilde • I think you are wrong, Basil, but I won’t argue with you. It is only the intellectually lost who ever argue. – Oscar Wilde • I was also sitting in from the middle of senior year of high school at Sweet Basil, it was a great club in New York. – Jon Gordon • I went in [Sweet Basil band] and played with them, maybe half the gig for almost eight years or more. – Jon Gordon • I would sit in at a jazz brunch [at sweet Basil] with Eddie Chamblee, who was a great tenor player. Really a kind man. The whole band was great. – Jon Gordon • If you’ve got a plot the size of a car or a tiny yard in Italy, you’re going to be growing tomatoes and basil and celery and carrots, and everybody is still connected to the land. – Frances Mayes • Illy [Ray Illingworth] had the man-management skills of Basil Fawlty – Darren Gough • On daughter Apple’s accent: She says Mummy instead of Mommy, I don’t mind that. I will if she starts saying basil and pasta the English way, as that really drives me nuts. – Gwyneth Paltrow • Pounding fragrant things – particularly garlic, basil, parsley – is a tremendous antidote to depression. But it applies also to juniper berries, coriander seeds and the grilled fruits of the chilli pepper. Pounding these things produces an alteration in one’s being – from sighing with fatigue to inhaling with pleasure. The cheering effects of herbs and alliums cannot be too often reiterated. Virgil’s appetite was probably improved equally by pounding garlic as by eating it. – Patience Gray • Savory…that’s a swell word. And Basil and Betel. Capsicum. Curry. All great. But Relish, now, Relish with a capital R. No argument, that’ the best. – Ray Bradbury • That’s definitely true! It was before my father died, so I can’t attribute it to an obsession with death. When I was seven, I loved those old Sherlock Holmes movies with Basil Rathbone. The Scarlet Claw was one of my faves. And I loved all the Halloween’s and that film about the haunted house… Burnt Offerings, with Oliver Reed. Every birthday party was a slumber party and we’d watch horror films. – Cate Blanchett • The repeat run of Fawlty Towers (BBC2) drew bigger audiences than ever and deservedly so. Statistical surveys reveal that only the television critic of the Spectator is incapable of seeing the joke, which is that Basil Fawlty has the wrong temperament to be a hotel proprietor, just as some other people have the wrong temperament to be television critics. – Clive James • The scent organ was playing a delightfully refreshing Herbal Capriccio – rippling arpeggios of thyme and lavender, of rosemary, basil, myrtle, tarragon; a series of daring modulations through the spice keys into ambergris; and a slow return through sandalwood, camphor, cedar and newmown hay (with occasional subtle touches of discord – a whiff of kidney pudding, the faintest suspicion of pig’s dung) back to the simple aromatics with which the piece began. The final blast of thyme died away; there was a round of applause; the lights went up. – Aldous Huxley • Virtues are in the middle, the royal way about which the saintly elder (Saint Basil the Great) said, “Travel on the royal way and count the miles.” As I said, the virtues are at the midpoint between excess and laxness. That is why it is written, “Do not turn to the right or the left” (Prov 4:27) but travel on the “royal way” (Num. 20:17). Saint Basil also says, “The person who does not allow his thoughts to incline towards excess or deprivation but directs it to the midpoint, that of virtue, is upright in heart.” – Dorotheus of Gaza • We’re big fans of the show on BBC, and some of the greatest actors in film and television have done this character, from Basil Rathbone to Nicol Williamson to Michael Caine. (Executive producer) Rob Doherty came in with the pitch last season, it was immediately a show that we gravitated towards. – Nina Tassler • What the English like to do is to face reality with a glass of port and a tear and fade off like Basil Rathbone into the sunset. – Pete Townshend • When I was thinking about what we could do in terms of what production values of Broadway might be able to add to the show, I had this thought that it would be really cool if we had a coup de théâtre. What would they want? And then I was like, an amazing, enormous tuna puppet that was like 30 by 40 feet would be pretty incredible. So I called up Basil Twist, and he got really excited immediately and started sketching out his idea, and I think it’s a real highlight of the show. – Alex Timbers [clickbank-storefront-bestselling]

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equitiesstocks · 5 years ago

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Basil Quotes

Official Website: Basil Quotes

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• A man taking basil from a woman will love her always. – Thomas More • And I did a movie called Basil with Jared Leto and Christian Slater. – Claire Forlani

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lindyhunt · 6 years ago

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Canada’s Budding Marijuana Industry Is Helping Women Break the Glass Ceiling

Once the domain of potheads, stoners and no-good wake ’n’ bakers, weed has gone from illicit gateway drug to buzzy new investment in just a few years. In the United States (where marijuana is legal for adult recreational use in nine states and Washington, D.C.), gleaming Apple Store-esque dispensaries sell designer herb alongside artsy pastel-hued pipes; trendy fashion publications profile cool creatives and their favourite strains; and bud brands are even getting in on the ubiquitous streetwear trend, selling logoed tees and hoodies to the millennial masses. Canada, meanwhile, where federal legalization of cannabis was just passed, is starting up what experts predicted in 2016 could be a $22.6 billion industry.

Perhaps what’s most exciting about the so-called “green rush” is the opportunity it presents for women. Because in the current economic landscape, despite all the leaning in on and seemingly daily takedowns of powerful men behaving badly, when it comes to real decision makers and actual women leaders, we have a lot of catching up to do. At the end of the workday, according to a 2016 diversity disclosure practices report conducted by Osler, women account for only 15 per cent of executive officers at TSX-listed companies and only 13 per cent of board members.

Women account for only 15 per cent of executive officers at TSX-listed companies and only 13 per cent of board members.

Weed, in a lot of ways, is poised to blaze a different path. According to a 2015 survey by Marijuana Business Daily of the legal cannabis space in the United States, women made up roughly 36 per cent of leaders, including 63 per cent of high-level positions in testing labs. And there’s more evidence: Women-run dispensaries are popping up stateside as well as here in Canada; last year saw the launch of Broccoli, a stylish cannabis magazine for women that was founded by the former creative director of Kinfolk; cannabis social clubs for women are a thing now; and fem-forward accessories are dominating our social feeds. (Rose-petal rolling papers, anyone?)

April Pride, the founder of female-focused cannabis lifestyle brand Van der Pop (which is now owned by Toronto-based Tokyo Smoke), is the unofficial godmother of the women and weed movement. A serial entrepreneur with a background in design (she trained as an architect and went to Parsons for grad school), Pride launched Van der Pop in 2016 as a fashionable weed accessories brand after she noticed a severe lack of good design in what she knew was a soon-to-explode industry. (She’s based in Washington state, where marijuana has been legal for recreational use since 2012.)

“In the United States, women made up roughly 36 per cent of leaders, including 63 per cent of high-level positions in testing labs.”

A few months after launching the site, she noticed that most people on it were looking for advice and information about how cannabis relates to women’s issues. “Women were coming to me about their own lives, and men were coming to me about their relationships with their wives,” says Pride. “After a while, I was just like, ‘Why am I not doing this?’”

And so she did. In November 2017, she took Van der Pop’s female focus a step further, collaborating with Ontario-based licensed producer WeedMD to launch a line of cannabis strains specifically designed for women’s needs: Cloudburst, which has a profile that’s similar to varieties known to help with pain management and stress, and Eclipse, similar to strains that promote relaxation and help you sleep. “Canada has a distinctly progressive attitude toward cannabis,” says Pride.

“Women were coming to me about their own lives, and men were coming to me about their relationships with their wives. After a while, I was just like, ‘Why am I not doing this?’”

“It has the potential to be the global leader in cannabis, and our brand wants to be part of that momentum.” For Van der Pop, it’s a logical—and likely lucrative—next step because, chic accessories aside, the industry reality seems to point to actual cannabis as the real money-maker. In Canada, this means being, becoming or—like Van der Pop—working with licensed producers.

Currently, only companies holding an ACMPR (Access to Cannabis for Medical Purposes Regulations) licence are authorized to produce or sell marijuana through the medical system. Now that it’s legal, it might get easier, depending on where you live, since provincial governments will be overseeing licensing and distribution instead of Ottawa. But if you do the math, this means that the quietly illegal dispensary you frequent now could easily be just as illegal now as it was before legalization.

“It’s a hugely capital intensive industry, so there are constant meetings with investors, bankers and shareholders.” In other words, it’s hugely white-male intensive.

“In the legal regulated market, we have high standards set by Health Canada that require significant costs and attention,” says Alison Gordon, CEO of 48North Cannabis Corp., an ACMPR-licensed company based in Toronto. “It’s a hugely capital intensive industry, so there are constant meetings with investors, bankers and shareholders.” In other words, it’s hugely white-male intensive.

“It seems that there are some women leaders in the lifestyle or culture side of the business, but unfortunately I don’t see many women at executive or board levels in the companies in the legal regulated space, which is where the industry is going. This is still very male dominated,” continues Gordon. “I am the only female CEO of the 92 licensed companies that I am aware of…but it’s hard to keep track as the list of licensed companies changes weekly.”

Before joining the cannabis industry, Gordon was the executive vice-president of Rethink Breast Cancer, which she co-founded in 2001. When a close family member was diagnosed with stage IV ovarian cancer and began using medical marijuana to help with sleep, anxiety and pain management, Gordon realized that the cannabis industry had a persistent image problem. “I was like, ‘Someone needs to rebrand this. Why does it always have to be just about hippies and rappers?’” she says. “I realized that I have this perfect storm of experience with marketing and fundraising and working with patients, physicians and government, so I jumped into the industry.

Her first role was chief marketing officer for a cannabis producer—technically a demotion. Three years later, she took on a similar role at 48North. And less than a year later, she was appointed CEO. “It’s a challenge across the board, whether it’s women or men, to find people who’ve worked in the cannabis industry,” says Gordon. Her best advice for boss bitches wanting to get in on the lucrative legal action? “It’s a new industry, and we do move very quickly, so if women can get in now—maybe not at executive levels but at the senior level—and get a few years under their belts, they will be the leaders of this industry because we’re at such an early point in time,” she says. “I’m considered a veteran because I’ve been in it for five years.”

“It’s a new industry, and we do move very quickly, so if women can get in now—maybe not at executive levels but at the senior level—and get a few years under their belts, they will be the leaders of this industry because we’re at such an early point in time.”

Of course, as with any industry on the brink of a boom, there’s always the risk of failure. But when it comes to marijuana, the ROI is about so much more than the bottom line—especially for women, many of whom aren’t just jumping on the cannabis bandwagon because it’s edgy or trendy or a buzzy investment. For most, it’s about taking control of their own health.

According to a Van der Pop-sponsored survey of 1,530 women who use cannabis multiple times a month, the top four reasons why they consume it are wellness-related (pain relief, relaxation, stress and anxiety). Which means the same woman who does yoga, drinks cold-pressed juices, meditates with her crystals and adds spirulina to her kale smoothie in the morning is probably also open to smoking a little pot to unwind or deal with a headache or get “in the mood.” And if you consider how massive the #selfcare movement has become, wellness is very likely going to be the thing that breaks weed into the mainstream.

“As more people leave their ‘respectable’ nine-to-fives and start taking best practices from the established industries, I think we’re going to see an incredible rate of innovation. It’s exciting—we get to make the rules and break the rules at the same time!”

“Women are starting to realize, especially in the States, that decisions are being made on our behalf either by the government or by pharmaceutical companies,” says Pride. “Those in positions to make the decisions around which medical challenges to pursue regarding product research and development and/or regulatory change have rarely been female, so our true array of needs have rarely been met. As more people leave their ‘respectable’ nine-to-fives and start taking best practices from the established industries, I think we’re going to see an incredible rate of innovation. It’s exciting—we get to make the rules and break the rules at the same time!”

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little-missmarleyroserps · 7 years ago

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Exceptional Cooking Supplies

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Having just graduated from university, cooking books have a firm location on my kitchen shelf. From disastrous attempts at generating barely edible dishes, my time as a student has exposed me to a lot of cooking books. Here are the leading ten of the ideal cooking books that are invaluable to any wannabe Masterchefs out there.

Ready… Steady… Cook!

ten. Delia’s Full Cookery Program by Delia Smith

This mammoth cookery guide whips in at amount ten. Delia Smith is very a lot the David Beckham of the cooking planet – an institution. Her Complete Cookery Program does specifically what it says on the tin. It offers wannabe chefs with a complete, extensive guide to making the very best dishes. With fundamental must know recipes like apple pie and yorkshire puddings, Delia demonstrates she is one of the masters. With mouth-watering photos acting as a rough manual this book is a god send for novice chefs. No doubt a staple on your mother’s shelf, this book is perfect as a starting up point in the basics of pastry producing, cake baking and roast generating. A genuine triumph in the cookery book planet.

9. The New Curry Bible by Pat Chapman

Chapman’s bible does not follow the typical rules of cookery books, but is a diamond in the rough for curry fanatics out there and the purpose it has manufactured this greatest cooking books listing. The New Curry Bible does not merely display you the recipes but teaches you the history of curry making. It is not a guide to be purchased for individuals who want a quick repair curry. If you are one of those men and women I propose you conserve yourself time and funds and just buy a ready meal. Nevertheless, if you are interested in the exquisite nature of curries, then this book teaches you all you require to know. Like any expert cook book, it is a little disheartening at 1st to encounter all of the odd herbs and spices that you know you don’t own, but the rewards from having information of these is irreplaceable. Despite the fact that it could take you a while to get to grips with the fine art of balancing the spices, you will most certainly become well-known amongst buddies and family members for the talent you will take from this lovely book.

8. Rick Stein’s Taste of the Sea: 150 Fantastic Recipes for Each Occasion

As a huge lover of seafood, this book has virtually been my magna carta. Rick Stein will take you on a journey around the coast and teaches you to actually enjoy fish in all its scaly glory. From skinning strategies to filleting, this guide teaches you how to prepare and cook fish to perfection. Stein writes in a clear and simple vogue and it is not possible to resist his infectious passion. With a assortment of dishes that cater for completely each occasion, this book is a should have for beginners and skilled fish mongers alike. The instructions are not condescending or set in stone, and depart freedom for experimentation. A really excellent book by a really fantastic chef and teacher.

7. Easy Chinese Cooking by Kylie Kwong

Following the theme of specialist cooking books, Simple Chinese Cooking is an absolute have to have for anybody wanting to commence a love affair with chinese cooking. Filled with stunning photography, this book coaches you through each dish with clear and crisp step-by-step guidelines. Usually when faced with a distinct cook guide, there appears a never-ending record of ingredients that appear to exist in outer space, but this guide has essentials that can be purchased and identified simply in regional grocery shops. Not only is this book a wonderful guide, but it is also extremely exciting as each week you can watch yourself build and gain self-assurance with once seemingly challenging dishes. From steamed cod to sweet and sour pork, Kwong’s recipes will have you burning all your chinese takeaway menus from the get go.

6. Jamie’s thirty Minute Meals by Jamie Oliver

There can be no such factor as a ideal cooking books record without Mr Oliver, of program. One of the issues I love most about practically all of Jamie Oliver’s cook books are their gorgeous and impeccable presentation. They are not limitless pages of lines and lines of writing but are as an alternative filled with vivid, colourful and delectable photographs, as well as no- nonsense recipes. In his 30 Minute Meals Jaime shows you that once and for all cooking does not have to be a demanding and laborious affair. Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals is incredible for operating individuals for whom time is income, and of program students who wish to commit minimum amount of time cooking and greatest volume of time… studying. Not only is it wonderfully organised with a designated section for starters, mains and desserts, but there are several vegetarian recipes scattered within, creating this book literally for every single kind of chef.

5. The Very best Recipes in the World by Mark Bittman

After his debut cook book How to Cook Almost everything became an international sensation, Bittman is back to educate you it is simpler than you thought to cook recipes from all all around the globe. With no needless embellishments Bittman gently leads you on a culinary round the world trip that will leave your taste buds in a state of euphoria. The best element of Mark Bittman’s The Greatest Recipes In The Globe while you may possibly never ever get round to cooking every little thing within, the dishes you do make will depart you feeling inspired to consider dishes you already cook and turn them on their head. Despite the fact that it can be overwhelming to face so several recipes in one book, I urge you to include this to your collection. It is timeless and will only help to enhance your understanding of food.

4. Gordon Ramsay’s Strategies by Gordon Ramsay

In this extraordinary and not too badly priced book, Gordon Ramsay lets you in on a few secrets that have produced him the world-renowned chef that we have all come to love. With a massive assortment of recipes from poultry to fish and desserts to soups, this cookbook lets you in on inside information that will have friends and household pondering you are a bona-fide kitchen guru. The recipes are simple and powerful and Ramsay has even additional flourishes of his own, such as helpful ideas on presenting dishes. If you truly have a passion for cooking or would really like to understand more, this is the book that teaches you not just to cook but how to become a chef. These tips aid to make cooking a genuinely enjoyable experience and will increase your self confidence to be adventurous not only in cooking but also in eating as nicely.

3. The Complete Guide of Sushi by Hideo Dekura

As a self-confessed sushi addict this guide is extraordinary – the pages are practically edible. It combines the modern day with the traditional and permits you to get to grips with this tough Japanese design of cooking. Though not to everyone’s taste, this guide teaches you the tricks behind creating that tough sticky rice and how to current your sushi in wonderful methods. The most interesting factor about Dekura’s book is they way it advances from basic to expert. This enables you to move gradually at your own speed and also sets tiny targets inside of the book. Whilst there are other books on the marketplace such as Yo Sushi’s, it is Dekura’s guide that truly stands out of the crowd. With lovely photography it inspires with a mere flick of the webpage, and unlike its contemporaries has clear and easy directions. A need to have for any sushi fan and it also helps make a fantastic existing.

2. Wahaca – Mexican Food At House by Thomasina Miers

This guide comes in at number two of this greatest cooking books top ten and is a need to have for any regular Wahaca buyer. It was only just lately published and plunges you straight into the vibrant and tasty globe of Mexican street foods. One factor that did surprise me was the breakfast segment, and I have to admit I have been thoroughly converted to a mexican way of eating in the morning. Full of stunning photos and written in an available and friendly way, this book does precisely what the title states and brings Mexican foods straight into your kitchen. Miers has plainly carried out the investigation necessary for such an exquisite guide, and the info about mexican chillies is invaluable. An excellent guide for cooking meals for pals and a wonderful equivalent to BBQ events.

1.Jaime does… by Jaime Oliver

In at quantity one is Jaime does. In this book Jaime travels through foodie hotspots such as Spain, France and Morocco in buy to discover progressive recipes. The guide is superbly presented (like all of Jaime’s books) and has superb pictures of his travels alongside the incredible images of his food. Each country has an introductory paragraph that explains the culture and meals he came into make contact with with, and then in very simple language and an ever friendly tone, Jaime guides you through a range of dishes. From light bites such as patatas bravas to the more complex dishes like the steak tartare, Jaime’s tone in no way condescends you as the amateur chef. This guide not only gives excellent enjoyment as a educating device but is also nice to flip through every now and again to behold the place shots of his meals journey. Overall a very deserving winner of this Greatest Cooking Books checklist. Totally delicious!

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a-real-live-jeremy-blog · 7 years ago

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Spectacular Cooking Supplies

Here are some amazing webpages portable water dispenser, camping high chair, small lock box. Cooking Supplies

Having just graduated from university, cooking books have a company place on my kitchen shelf. From disastrous attempts at making barely edible dishes, my time as a pupil has exposed me to several cooking books. Here are the prime ten of the greatest cooking books that are invaluable to any wannabe Masterchefs out there.

Ready… Steady… Cook!

10. Delia’s Comprehensive Cookery Course by Delia Smith

This mammoth cookery book whips in at amount ten. Delia Smith is very much the David Beckham of the cooking globe – an institution. Her Complete Cookery Course does specifically what it says on the tin. It gives wannabe chefs with a complete, complete guidebook to generating the ideal dishes. With fundamental need to know recipes like apple pie and yorkshire puddings, Delia shows she is one of the masters. With mouth-watering pictures acting as a rough guidebook this guide is a god send for beginner chefs. No doubt a staple on your mother’s shelf, this guide is ideal as a commencing point in the essentials of pastry generating, cake baking and roast generating. A real triumph in the cookery guide world.

9. The New Curry Bible by Pat Chapman

Chapman’s bible does not comply with the traditional rules of cookery books, but is a diamond in the rough for curry fanatics out there and the reason it has created this ideal cooking books record. The New Curry Bible does not just display you the recipes but teaches you the history of curry generating. It is not a book to be purchased for men and women who want a rapid resolve curry. If you are one of those men and women I suggest you conserve yourself time and cash and just buy a prepared meal. Even so, if you are interested in the exquisite nature of curries, then this guide teaches you all you need to know. Like any specialist cook book, it is a minor disheartening at 1st to encounter all of the unusual herbs and spices that you know you don’t own, but the rewards from having knowledge of these is irreplaceable. Despite the fact that it might consider you a while to get to grips with the fine art of balancing the spices, you will most surely grow to be renowned amongst close friends and family for the talent you will consider from this gorgeous guide.

8. Rick Stein’s Taste of the Sea: 150 Fabulous Recipes for Every single Event

As a substantial lover of seafood, this guide has practically been my magna carta. Rick Stein will take you on a journey all around the coast and teaches you to actually value fish in all its scaly glory. From skinning methods to filleting, this book teaches you how to put together and cook fish to perfection. Stein writes in a clear and simple fashion and it is not possible to resist his infectious passion. With a assortment of dishes that cater for absolutely each and every occasion, this guide is a have to have for newbies and experienced fish mongers alike. The instructions are not condescending or set in stone, and depart freedom for experimentation. A actually fantastic book by a truly great chef and teacher.

7. Simple Chinese Cooking by Kylie Kwong

Following the theme of expert cooking books, Straightforward Chinese Cooking is an absolute must have for anyone wanting to start a love affair with chinese cooking. Filled with lovely photography, this book coaches you through each dish with clear and crisp step-by-step directions. Generally when faced with a particular cook book, there seems a never-ending checklist of elements that seem to exist in outer space, but this book has essentials that can be purchased and located effortlessly in neighborhood grocery shops. Not only is this guide a wonderful guidebook, but it is also incredibly exciting as each week you can view yourself create and obtain self-assurance with once seemingly challenging dishes. From steamed cod to sweet and sour pork, Kwong’s recipes will have you burning all your chinese takeaway menus from the get go.

6. Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals by Jamie Oliver

There can be no such factor as a greatest cooking books record with out Mr Oliver, of program. One of the things I enjoy most about practically all of Jamie Oliver’s cook books are their stunning and impeccable presentation. They are not limitless pages of lines and lines of creating but are as an alternative filled with bright, colourful and delectable pictures, as nicely as no- nonsense recipes. In his thirty Minute Meals Jaime exhibits you that once and for all cooking does not have to be a nerve-racking and laborious affair. Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals is remarkable for functioning folks for whom time is cash, and of program students who wish to spend minimal sum of time cooking and optimum volume of time… learning. Not only is it wonderfully organised with a designated area for starters, mains and desserts, but there are quite a few vegetarian recipes scattered inside, generating this guide practically for each variety of chef.

5. The Best Recipes in the Globe by Mark Bittman

After his debut cook book How to Cook Almost everything grew to become an international sensation, Bittman is back to educate you it is less complicated than you imagined to cook recipes from all all around the planet. With no needless embellishments Bittman gently leads you on a culinary round the world journey that will depart your taste buds in a state of euphoria. The best aspect of Mark Bittman’s The Best Recipes In The Globe while you may possibly never get round to cooking almost everything within, the dishes you do make will leave you feeling inspired to take dishes you already cook and flip them on their head. Even though it can be mind-boggling to face so several recipes in one book, I urge you to include this to your collection. It is timeless and will only help to improve your knowledge of food.

4. Gordon Ramsay’s Tricks by Gordon Ramsay

In this incredible and not too badly priced book, Gordon Ramsay lets you in on a few tricks that have produced him the world-renowned chef that we have all come to love. With a huge collection of recipes from poultry to fish and desserts to soups, this cookbook lets you in on inside information that will have pals and loved ones contemplating you are a bona-fide kitchen guru. The recipes are simple and effective and Ramsay has even added flourishes of his own, such as helpful ideas on presenting dishes. If you truly have a passion for cooking or would adore to learn more, this is the guide that teaches you not just to cook but how to turn into a chef. These tips help to make cooking a genuinely enjoyable encounter and will enhance your self-confidence to be adventurous not only in cooking but also in eating as properly.

3. The Complete Guide of Sushi by Hideo Dekura

As a self-confessed sushi addict this guide is amazing – the pages are virtually edible. It combines the contemporary with the standard and enables you to get to grips with this difficult Japanese type of cooking. Though not to everyone’s taste, this guide teaches you the tricks behind making that challenging sticky rice and how to current your sushi in wonderful methods. The most exciting point about Dekura’s guide is they way it advances from straightforward to expert. This allows you to move gradually at your own pace and also sets tiny targets inside of the book. While there are other books on the industry such as Yo Sushi’s, it is Dekura’s book that genuinely stands out of the crowd. With lovely photography it inspires with a mere flick of the web page, and not like its contemporaries has clear and easy instructions. A should have for any sushi fan and it also can make a wonderful existing.

2. Wahaca – Mexican Food At Home by Thomasina Miers

This guide comes in at quantity two of this greatest cooking books top ten and is a need to have for any frequent Wahaca customer. It was only lately published and plunges you straight into the vibrant and tasty planet of Mexican street food. One factor that did shock me was the breakfast area, and I have to admit I have been completely converted to a mexican way of consuming in the morning. Total of lovely photos and written in an accessible and friendly way, this book does precisely what the title states and brings Mexican foods straight into your kitchen. Miers has obviously completed the research essential for such an exquisite book, and the information about mexican chillies is invaluable. An exceptional guide for cooking meals for buddies and a wonderful equivalent to BBQ parties.

one.Jaime does… by Jaime Oliver

In at quantity one is Jaime does. In this book Jaime travels through foodie hotspots such as Spain, France and Morocco in buy to discover progressive recipes. The guide is superbly presented (like all of Jaime’s books) and has fantastic photographs of his travels alongside the amazing photographs of his foods. Each nation has an introductory paragraph that explains the culture and foods he came into speak to with, and then in very simple language and an ever pleasant tone, Jaime guides you through a range of dishes. From light bites such as patatas bravas to the more complex dishes like the steak tartare, Jaime’s tone by no means condescends you as the amateur chef. This guide not only gives excellent enjoyment as a teaching instrument but is also good to flip through every now and again to behold the location shots of his foods journey. Overall a very deserving winner of this Ideal Cooking Books list. Totally tasty!

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babyobservationcrusade-blog · 7 years ago

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so what are we making today so I'm going to make something really simple simple delicious something that is unintimidating and something that once it's made as it sits in the fridge just gets better and better so it's a basic sort of wonderful white bean vegetarian soup and it's not the kind of white beans that you need to sort of soak for like 24 hours we're using butter beans canned we're using a chicken stock that can be easily turn around and be a hundred percent every turn this actual dish could be made with water providing the stunning ingredients start off with fantastic celery garlic leeks tomatoes and then finishing this amazing feta just to crumble on top so it sort of helps to season it as well it's almost like a sort of Greek minestrone but done in a very quick fashion the recipes from world kitchen we've just got the most amazing book put together with the best of Greece the best of France the best of Italy the best of Britain the best of America the best of Japanese the best of Chinese so we've gone for sort of the best 20 recipes across each country and as the idea behind these sort of I suppose the spine of the new series find the best local restaurants and how did you decide which recipes to put in the books from around the world so we could've had 500 recipes in the book so I suppose what we wanted to do was start off with what was featured on all the menus and what was the most common showing from the Indian to the most amazing samosas to the most amazing teachers to authentic but easy approachable so it's all designed to be stuff that you can do kind of whether you've got any skills particularly or not it's it's it's stuff designed around I suppose not just the easiness but straightforward uncomplicated cooking so I'm going to quickly sweat off the onions so generous with the olive all sweaty down with a celery onions leeks I won't put the leeks in last but to cooking League properties go in there first like celery and leek you know they do take a long time to cook but the secret now here is giving a little bit of color sort of roast them off a little bit of rose wean their young got rosemary thyme is just as exciting we call them winter herbs because they're not soft herbs they're all terminal they're flavorsome and they give a really good kick to the soup start off the celery to the onions and the leeks and then put the carrots in the nice thing about this soup there's no formula it can be done without carrots you've got a swing you've got to turn it turn it give the soup a really nice depth of flavor sweet help for thicken it in a way that it's a nice substitute for rice or lentils so many vegetable work any root vegetable you know God you think of how many Russians don't serve Swedes on menus oh my god a Swede puree is something we started off seen in school and then you forgot about it because it wasn't glamorous along comes yo baby vegetables and I think there's a fascination with chefs with baby carrots baby fennel they look great with a taste of nothing I quite like baby vegetables but using an amazing salad something that doesn't need to be cooked for a long time but trying to cook these vegetables for 20 minutes at a time doesn't hold it with sweating these things down and would you if you had sweet or turnip in would you treat them in exactly the same way as you are the carrots I do it with like a potato and just dice it up peel it and dice it I've never done a book with such a cross sector of multi sort of exciting cuisines in there so you got a very choice as well which is lovely do you think you can mix them together do you think you could do a dessert from one side and a your main course from somewhere else it's a good question can you mix them together yeah what's happened over the last 12 months in the industry currently today is that we've got rid of the snob factor the formalities of fine dining has relaxed customers are now king more than ever before and we got rid of their arrogance it's all these little do's and don'ts this chefs get up their own ass with have gone so yeah start off with an amazing simple pass a dish go on to the most amazing Chinese main course yeah and finish the great English dessert that's the whole exciting idea and about world kitchen in terms of something complex from there I've got that diversity but there's nothing intimidating got a really nice color on these vegetables now I mean really nice colour it's laced with lots of olive oil so it's really nice and sort of rich and an amazing sort of grassy flavor a little tablespoon of tomato puree and that's basically just to give the soup a little bit of depth so roast that off if you quickly cook the tomato puree off it gets rid of that sort of tart tannin flavor that puree needs so it's almost like a sort of try to concentrate but I really cook it out before you put the stock in you have the stock without cooking out the puree kind of sort of a tart taint flavor roast it off and then are you letting the garlic yeah browning everything off now because once the stock goes in there washes everything off so it's really important turn the gas up get some confidence in the pan and the way that it really really cooks it out the celery is nicely colored onions have disintegrated Rosemary's made the soup really nice and fragrant now I've got a nice color there look carrots with colouring beautifully the puree that sort of disintegrated now we've got that tomato flavor there now from there our beans in butter beans just rinse them under a little bit of warm water that gets rid of the sort of fur around the outside beans in now I need the beans to absorb all those tomatoes all that flavor of the tomato at the bottom as well there's no red wine there's no white wine there's nothing like that in there at all just so ting and really heavily roasting I want the beans to absorb the tomato puree and then from there I have fresh tomatoes in the idea again is this sort of combination pleasing tomato puree the fresh tomatoes you won't identify now after roasting a tomato puree that there's actually your pure in there because the fresh tomatoes will overtake that now got a color in there now and now we just turn down the gas and add the stock up to the boil as quick as you can and do you reckon these fresh stocks you can buy now or as good as making your own do you know one in terms of making your own the best thing to do is to have a couple of containers in the freezer ice cream containers and every time you got chicken wings lamb bones fill them up no point in making a good stock until you've got a really nice sort of quantity of bones making a stock with a couple of chicken bones is irrelevant we've got no flavor especially you can buy stock as good as this and would you only do this with chicken or vegetable stock could you do it with like a beef stock or you could do it with beef stock this is a basic vegetable butter bean soup I'm slipping tiger prawns in there at the end making the soup with fish stock just as good easy diverse and would you do it with beans and the absolute definite without that especially the winter someone no winter year definitely it's also important the minute it comes up to the ball correct the seasoning because now the next 10 minutes the process of this it has to be seasoned perfectly once that comes up the ball give that a little skin and that's just a little bit of sort of leftover from the beans the fur don't ball that into the soup give it a little skin is that tastes or apparent had taste and also both taste and appearance if you let that sort of boil through the soup then it needs a horrible sort of grayness across the soup on that nice dark rich ruby red some flat leaf parsley that gives it that really nice sort of earthy sort of freshness so every time you reheat this to sort of wake it up again you come to serve it rather than just reheating it slowly finish with a little bit of flat leaf parsley just crunch it up into a nice little bunch and just slice through it once so you got it chopped and full of flavor parsley on and then from there turn the gas off and this is where it gets really exciting small amounts of seasoning at the beginning with the vegetables and then just finished off with our feta feta cheese just gives it that really nice sort of salty texture flavor and makes the soup a little bit more creamier as well if you're not a big lover of feta Parmesan is nice as a nice alternative so when you come to serve just in get your vegetables tilt the ladle so the stock drains down I want two-thirds content from one-third stock I don't want a runny soup I want it quite substantial I'm just gonna sprinkle a little more fresh feta cheese on top and then really to sort of home in on that amazing earthy flavour so that will touch of olive oil on top and there you go the most amazing white bean vegetable soup finished with feta delicious

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tessthetraveller22 · 7 years ago

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Fantastic Cooking Supplies

Here are some amazing webpages daypacks for hiking, backpacking mattress pad, mylar space blanket. Cooking Supplies

Having just graduated from university, cooking books have a company location on my kitchen shelf. From disastrous attempts at creating barely edible dishes, my time as a pupil has exposed me to numerous cooking books. Here are the prime 10 of the ideal cooking books that are invaluable to any wannabe Masterchefs out there.

Prepared… Regular… Cook!

ten. Delia’s Full Cookery Program by Delia Smith

This mammoth cookery book whips in at number ten. Delia Smith is very considerably the David Beckham of the cooking planet – an institution. Her Total Cookery Course does exactly what it says on the tin. It supplies wannabe chefs with a complete, comprehensive guidebook to creating the best dishes. With fundamental have to know recipes like apple pie and yorkshire puddings, Delia shows she is one of the masters. With mouth-watering photographs acting as a rough guidebook this book is a god send for novice chefs. No doubt a staple on your mother’s shelf, this book is perfect as a commencing point in the fundamentals of pastry creating, cake baking and roast generating. A genuine triumph in the cookery book globe.

9. The New Curry Bible by Pat Chapman

Chapman’s bible does not adhere to the standard principles of cookery books, but is a diamond in the rough for curry fanatics out there and the reason it has created this best cooking books record. The New Curry Bible does not just show you the recipes but teaches you the historical past of curry generating. It is not a guide to be purchased for individuals who want a rapid repair curry. If you are one of those men and women I propose you conserve yourself time and funds and just get a prepared meal. Nevertheless, if you are interested in the exquisite nature of curries, then this guide teaches you all you need to know. Like any professional cook book, it is a tiny disheartening at initial to encounter all of the unusual herbs and spices that you know you don’t own, but the rewards from having expertise of these is irreplaceable. Though it may possibly get you a while to get to grips with the fine art of balancing the spices, you will most definitely turn into popular amongst close friends and family for the talent you will consider from this gorgeous guide.

8. Rick Stein’s Taste of the Sea: 150 Fantastic Recipes for Each Occasion

As a huge lover of seafood, this book has literally been my magna carta. Rick Stein requires you on a journey around the coast and teaches you to truly enjoy fish in all its scaly glory. From skinning approaches to filleting, this guide teaches you how to prepare and cook fish to perfection. Stein writes in a clear and straightforward fashion and it is unattainable to resist his infectious passion. With a range of dishes that cater for absolutely every occasion, this book is a must have for beginners and seasoned fish mongers alike. The directions are not condescending or set in stone, and leave freedom for experimentation. A actually wonderful guide by a truly fantastic chef and teacher.

7. Basic Chinese Cooking by Kylie Kwong

Following the theme of professional cooking books, Simple Chinese Cooking is an absolute need to have for any individual wanting to start off a adore affair with chinese cooking. Filled with beautiful photography, this guide coaches you through each dish with clear and crisp step-by-step directions. Typically when faced with a certain cook book, there seems a never-ending checklist of elements that seem to exist in outer space, but this guide has essentials that can be purchased and found very easily in nearby grocery retailers. Not only is this book a fantastic guidebook, but it is also incredibly exciting as each week you can observe yourself create and gain self-assurance with once seemingly tough dishes. From steamed cod to sweet and sour pork, Kwong’s recipes will have you burning all your chinese takeaway menus from the get go.

6. Jamie’s thirty Minute Meals by Jamie Oliver

There can be no such factor as a greatest cooking books listing without having Mr Oliver, of course. One of the factors I love most about nearly all of Jamie Oliver’s cook books are their gorgeous and impeccable presentation. They are not limitless pages of lines and lines of writing but are as an alternative filled with vibrant, colourful and delectable pictures, as nicely as no- nonsense recipes. In his 30 Minute Meals Jaime displays you that once and for all cooking does not have to be a stressful and laborious affair. Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals is incredible for operating individuals for whom time is cash, and of course students who want to invest minimal volume of time cooking and maximum quantity of time… studying. Not only is it wonderfully organised with a designated part for starters, mains and desserts, but there are many vegetarian recipes scattered within, making this book virtually for every single type of chef.

5. The Ideal Recipes in the World by Mark Bittman

After his debut cook guide How to Cook Everything grew to become an worldwide sensation, Bittman is back to educate you it is easier than you considered to cook recipes from all close to the globe. With no unnecessary embellishments Bittman gently leads you on a culinary round the world trip that will depart your taste buds in a state of euphoria. The best aspect of Mark Bittman’s The Very best Recipes In The Globe while you may by no means get round to cooking every thing inside, the dishes you do make will leave you feeling inspired to get dishes you previously cook and turn them on their head. Although it can be mind-boggling to face so numerous recipes in one book, I urge you to add this to your collection. It is timeless and will only assist to improve your information of foods.

4. Gordon Ramsay’s Secrets by Gordon Ramsay

In this incredible and not too badly priced guide, Gordon Ramsay lets you in on a few secrets and techniques that have created him the world-renowned chef that we have all come to love. With a enormous assortment of recipes from poultry to fish and desserts to soups, this cookbook lets you in on inside info that will have friends and family thinking you are a bona-fide kitchen guru. The recipes are easy and efficient and Ramsay has even extra flourishes of his own, such as valuable ideas on presenting dishes. If you genuinely have a passion for cooking or would adore to find out more, this is the guide that teaches you not just to cook but how to turn into a chef. These guidelines support to make cooking a genuinely pleasant knowledge and will improve your self-confidence to be adventurous not only in cooking but also in consuming as effectively.

3. The Total Book of Sushi by Hideo Dekura

As a self-confessed sushi addict this book is extraordinary – the pages are nearly edible. It combines the modern with the classic and allows you to get to grips with this tough Japanese fashion of cooking. Though not to everyone’s taste, this book teaches you the secrets behind producing that hard sticky rice and how to existing your sushi in superb techniques. The most interesting issue about Dekura’s guide is they way it advances from simple to professional. This allows you to move steadily at your own pace and also sets small targets within the book. While there are other books on the market place such as Yo Sushi’s, it is Dekura’s guide that truly stands out of the crowd. With beautiful photography it inspires with a mere flick of the webpage, and not like its contemporaries has clear and simple instructions. A should have for any sushi fan and it also can make a excellent existing.

2. Wahaca – Mexican Foods At House by Thomasina Miers

This book comes in at variety two of this ideal cooking books leading 10 and is a have to have for any frequent Wahaca consumer. It was only lately published and plunges you straight into the vibrant and tasty globe of Mexican street food. One factor that did surprise me was the breakfast part, and I have to admit I have been thoroughly converted to a mexican way of eating in the morning. Total of lovely images and written in an available and pleasant way, this guide does precisely what the title states and brings Mexican foods straight into your kitchen. Miers has plainly accomplished the investigation necessary for such an exquisite book, and the information about mexican chillies is invaluable. An excellent guide for cooking meals for friends and a great equivalent to BBQ parties.

1.Jaime does… by Jaime Oliver

In at quantity one is Jaime does. In this book Jaime travels through foodie hotspots such as Spain, France and Morocco in purchase to locate progressive recipes. The book is beautifully presented (like all of Jaime’s books) and has superb pictures of his travels alongside the incredible photographs of his food. Each nation has an introductory paragraph that explains the culture and food he came into contact with, and then in very basic language and an ever friendly tone, Jaime guides you through a variety of dishes. From light bites such as patatas bravas to the more complicated dishes like the steak tartare, Jaime’s tone never condescends you as the amateur chef. This book not only provides fantastic enjoyment as a educating device but is also great to flip through every now and again to behold the location shots of his meals journey. General a very deserving winner of this Best Cooking Books record. Definitely tasty!

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