#man you cant even pretend to try. this is why the break up was your fault

[luna0713hunter]

Lover,Please stay

CEO!Sukuna is a big shot,every women and men's dream. Sometimes you wonder why he settled for someone like you.

The wine tastes bitter on your tongue as you take your first sip; wincing slightly. You've never been a fan of drinking,but when your rich boyfriend invites you out for some, who're you to say no? So you suck it up,and try to swing the drink around your glass instead of actually drinking it.

And it doesn't help that the liquor is bringing out all your doubts you've been having recently.

Instead,you try to focus on the man beside you; Sukuna is busy downing his third whiskey cause he's an absolute freak when it comes to drinking. His pink hair is out of its usually neat shape, probably because of the rough day he had at work; and you watch with careful eyes as he reaches his nibble fingers toward his tie and loses it while he throws back the last of his drink.

"you're staring."

You hum absentmindedly; hating how lightweight you are unlike your boyfriend. You've barely had a few sips for god's sake.

"and what if i am?"

But now, you're staring at the reddish liquid in your glass; your thoughts running wild in your mind. Because even if you want to; even if you desperately wish to, you cant ignore the whispers and giggles you hear from the tables near you. You cant pretend to not see the lustful gazes of the women all around you as soon as your boyfriend had stepped inside the bar.

And you surely cant not hear them giggling among themselves with nothing but vemon in their tone.

"oh my gosh,look at that hottie!!"

"hold on- is that...his partner?!"

"that cant be- i mean- look at HIM!"

"i know right?maybe he's just doing it out of pity or something?"

And you dont know if its the alcohol, or you own mind, but suddenly the bar feels too suffocating.

Too crowded. Too loud.

And its not really your fault; you've been having a shitty week, and you just wished to spend some quality time with you boyfriend. You didn't want to spend your Saturday night in a shitty bar,with some rich ass girls talking shit about you and your relationship.

And its the last straw when you hear their next words.

"oh screw it; I'm gonna hit on him! I'm sure he'd bored out his mind and need a break from his lame ass partner!"

"obviously they're not doing well; they haven't talked much since they walked in!"

So without a word,you suddenly stand up from your sit; slamming you glass hard on the wooden surface of the bar. Sukuna immediately looks your way, lips parting to say something, but you dont wait to hear what it is.

You just grab your purse and rush out of the door, almost stumbling to tables on your way out.

You think they might be laughing at you, but honestly you dont care. You just need some fresh air to cool your head.

And to stop the tears from falling on your burning cheeks.

You turn sharply in the alley just next to the bar; pressing your back to the cold wall behind as you slide down on the ground below. You hug your knees close to your chest as the first sob breaks through your lips.

God,you hate crying; specially because of what others say.

And you know; you know Sukuna's way out of your league. You know a hotshot like him can have anyone he wants,yet he settles for someone like you. You know all this, but that doesn't make it easier to hear it from others.

When you hear heavy footsteps inside the alley,you immensely start to brush your cheeks and eyes harshly; but your hands are immediately stopped midway by a pair of rough ones grabbing onto your wrists.

When you look up through teary eyes,Sukuna sighs at the sight of your red rimmed eyes and blushed cheeks.

"you're such a lightweight. How much did you even drink?"

"it's not because of the drink," you mumble, pulling at your hands to which Sukuna doesn't let you, "i didnt even finish my wine."

"then why are you crying,huh?" He sighs again, raising rough fingers to brush your tears away with such care that has you tearing up again. Sukuna 'tsks' and wipes your cheeks once more, ”tell me what's wrong."

You bury your face in your knees to avoid looking at him.

"you must've heard what those women said,Ryo. Dont play dumb."

"so what?"

You snap you head up.

"so what?! doesn't that bother you??"

Sukuna scoffs, shifting slightly. His dark eyes shine even in the barely lit alleyway,and you swallow upon seeing the look on his face.

He looks utterly pissed.

"why the fuck would it bother me what a bunch of good for nothing losers say?" He hold your chin and lowers his face until you can feel the his hot breath on your lips, "nothing in this world matters. Nothing. Except you,me,and us."

When your eyes water again,Sukuna sighs presses his forehead against yours.

"the world's gonna talk shit anyways; whether we like it or not. And i dont give a shit what other's think, because nothing will change the fact that i love you."

When you look up at him with wide, bleary eyes,Sukuna scoffs and pinches your cheek rather roughly.

"dont give me that look; I've said it before."

"Well!" You grumbled through pinched cheek, "you dont say it enough!"

An evil smirk makes way on his pink lips,and your face heats up when his fingers dance across your hips.

"then," you shiver as he pushes at the hem of your dress; taking hold on your upper thigh with a dangerous glint in his eyes, "guess I'll have to show it to you, don't you think doll?"

Your eyes flutter close when he finally presses his lips to yours; and right there and then,you know Sukuna never lies about loving you. After all, he's been always a man to show his love through his actions rather than words.

[mochamadeleines]

Sweethearts and Sweet Dreams <3

“Nothin’?”

“Mhm.”

“Whats behind your back then?”

You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.” (6.4k words)

tags!! - 18+ modern au! Husband! Joel Miller, Wife! Reader, you guys are happy and in love!, mutual obsession if u squint, lots of exposition im so freaking sorry, pervert Joel if u squint, praise kink joel if you squint, dumbification if you squint, written for those with daddy issues lowkeeyyyyy, written with game joel in mind but could be hbo joel no problem!, lowk i combined the two in my mind, mentions of shy old man joel, housewife! reader (by choice), unspecified age gap but reader is like. thirty? and joels Like...55??, talk about joel taking medication for his anxiety, p in v sex, dirty talk, public sex, outdoor sex, joel has a kink for dresses because i said so? service top joel if you squint, pet names, a pinch of jealousy and possessiveness for fun, playful banter, mentions of maria and tommy and their baby with a made up name Lol, mentions of ellie and sarah (rip), mentions of readers past abusive relationships, talk about joel struggling with substance abuse/addiction and being hospitalized.....Im sure u can theorize why </3, lots of lore ill get into in another fic MAYBE *smirks*, flip flop in perspective, sometimes showing what joel is thinking or what reader is thinking blah blah

authors notes!! - hi there!!! im mocha and this is my first joel fic ever + my first fic posted to tumblr!! im really nervous cuz i havent written anything in months and ive never written joel before so please let me know if you like it!! id love to write more of this au for u guys if theres a demand for it...Thank u for reading!! also barely proof read im ngl. ive been staring at this fic all day im sick of itttt. p.s i dont usually write smut i also kinda do idfk Is this bad or am i tweaking

You step out of the house, morning sun soaking into the roots of your hair and the driveway beneath your feet. Theres a package youve been waiting for. 

You cant contain your grin as you wiggle it out of the hot prison that is your mailbox.

“What the hell are you doin’ out there barefoot?” Joel chastises you from the front door, leaning his elbow on the frame. Joel, your lovely husband of two years. Been together for five. And because of how hard he works, you have the privilege of being a stay at home wife. Some people think that sort of life is stifling, but youve never felt so free. No more jobs you hate, no more financial struggles. Just you, Joel, and your cat, Cement. He likes to pretend it isnt a totally hilarious name for a pet.

You were his first relationship in almost a decade, so it was a lot of work helping him unpack his anxieties about dating, and a lot of work for you to feel safe and unafraid. Honestly? Youve been mistreated by enough men to land you in the psychward.

But Joel never yells at you, he never breaks things when hes angry or threatens to hurt you. He might raise his voice every now and again, but its never because of something you did. Sometimes the stress of life is just too much. 

He works hard, he loves his daughter- daughters- and he would do anything to keep you happy. Whatever you say goes, he says. Even now, you hardly argue. Of course you have disagreements, or off days thatd lead to one of you being especially moody, but the both of you do your best to communicate.

Behind that rough exterior, is someone who just wants to be needed. 

You first met Joel at a youth center you volunteered at, he taught guitar, you taught arts and crafts. Joel says it was your smile and sense of humor that charmed him. It was his singing and southern accent for you.

Your favorite thing about Joel is how soft he gets around you. He says its because you make it easy to be soft. 

Joel was a shy lover at first. He would get nervous just kissing you, or holding your hand. While most people become intimate very early on in their relationship, you and Joel didnt do anything sexual for the first five months of you dated. Sure, you almost did, plenty of times, but he would get so overwhelmed and cut things short. You broke two of your vibrators during this era of your relationship. Embarassing.

You remember your first time very vividly. Joel had worked back to back doubles trying to meet a deadline, and on the final day, after having barely spoken to you for almost a week, you had shown up to his house, unannounced. You were wringing water out of your jacket when he swung the door open. 

“How-” Joel blinks a few times, stepping forward to examine the rainfall. “How long you been out here?”

“Not that long,” You lie and pick up the container you brought off the porch chair. Part of you had a hard time mustering up the courage to even knock on the door. Droplets of water cascade down your chin. “Hi, sorry. I know youre tired.”

He shakes his head, voice soft and warm. “S’fine. Now c’mon, youre gonna get sick.”

Youre seated at the little dining table next to the kitchen now, trying to let the sound of the rainfall ease your nerves.

Joel was quick to grab you a towel, and does the honors of drying your face and hair with it. “Why didnt you jus’ call me? Woulda gotten out of the shower faster if i knew you were gettin’ soaked out there like this.”

“I dunno, sorry.”

“An’ whatd i tell you about apologizin’ all the time?”

“Sor- Uh. Right. Okay.” You tighten your jaw. No more.

Joel moves behind you, now squeezing water out the ends of your hair. “Whas’ that?”

“Oh!-” You peel back the lid, showing it to him. “Old fashion cake donuts are your favorite right? I remember you saying you liked eating them with your coffee in the mornings so…I made these. Youve been working a lot lately and I wanted to do something nice for you.”

Joel gingerly grasps the container from your hands, looking into it. Theyre a warm golden brown, outside evenly fried, and the sweet scent of them hits his nose right away.

“I was just gonna leave them on the doorstep and call you to tell you they were there, but I wanted to see you.”

His adam's apple bobs as he swallows the dryness in his throat. Youre too good for him. 

“Thank you very much.” He presses a kiss to your damp hair. “Now, lets get you into some dry clothes.”

Joel gives you a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers to keep you modest while your clothes wash and dry. 

You wait patiently on his bed for the hot chocolate he promised you before you showered. Theres nothing to watch on the tv, so you just turn it off and reach for the lamp on his nightstand instead. 

He comes in quietly, and sets the mug down beside the lamp. You finally come into focus, clear as day even under the low lighting.

“You uh.. You look nice.”

You blink. “I look nice?”

“In my shirt.”

That gets a smile out of you. 

Joel tips his head towards the mug. “S’hot so, give it a few minutes. Dont want you burnin’ your mouth.”

You nod. “Okay.”

Hes sat beside you now and the two of you sit in silence for a while. Its not awkward, just the kind of silence where both of you want to say something but just.. Cant.

Joel unravels first. “Missed you, y’know. Just been tired.”

“I know.” Your voice wobbles, and Joels jaw tightens like hearing you sound so sad stings him. “I missed you, too.” 

He slides his hand over yours, giving it a squeeze. Its okay. 

“Hey Joel...Can I stay the night?” 

“Sure. Id really like that.”

While you drink your hot chocolate, you and Joel catch up. You both talk about work, and about your new found interest in baking. Joel teases you about your lack of cooking skills, you do the same. Youre both useless. 

When its time to climb into bed, neither of you can actually fall asleep. Joel rolls onto his side, away from you and the window. You follow, curling up like a little cat against his back. The sensation is nice for the both of you.

You speak up after a little while.

“Joel?”

“Mm.”

“Thank you for letting me stay.”

He scoffs, voice thick with exhaustion. “Like I'd force you to leave after you brought me such a nice present.”

You let out a little giggle, “So if i didnt, youd kick me out?”

“Id think ‘bout it.”

You gasp, gently shoving at his back. “Thats mean…!”

“S’really not.”

“Oh yeah? And what if I poisoned them?.”

“Then itd jus' be a regular day of your cookin’ then.” Joel reminds you, lighthearted. Too many times where you left the shells in your eggs or burnt toast or left the bacon on the pan for too long.

“You cant get mad at me for my dark past when you made a perfectly good sirloin taste like horse leather.”

“Ugh. Dont remind me. That was like putting a one-hundred dollar bill into a paper shredder. How do either of us stay alive again?”

“Uh. Digiorno?”

“Digiorno.”

After a few moments, Joels rolling over again, and hes guiding your head to settle against his chest. Your arms wrap around him, and his arms around you. 

“Joel,” You whisper. He hums. “Im cold.”

“S’cause youre not wearin’ any pants.”

“And whos fault is that?”

“Still yours.”

“I was left out in the rain like a sad, sopping wet cat. One that was left in a box all alone with no family…” You pretend to sniffle. “Dont you feel bad for me?”

Joel sighs, not saying anything more except making sure the part of the comforter behind your back is tucked into your side so the cold air doesnt get in. When hes done, you do a little shimmy up his body, and throw your leg over his hip. Oh no.

Hes alert now. Very alert. Be normal. Joel hesitates, licking the dryness off his lips. “Uh. Feel better?”

“Mhm.” You push your face into his throat, cat-like, before settling down again. Hes like a radiator.

Actually scratch that, he cant be normal. 

“Darlin’.” He rasps, patting your back to get your attention.

“Mm?”

“Your leg. Move it.”

A few beats pass. “Why?”

“Because…” Wow,  he didnt think hed get this far. You shift forward and Joel lets out a quiet exhale through his nose, one that couldve been masked by the rain if you werent so close.

“Are you-”

“No! No. Its- Its not what you think-” He cant see your face in the darkness but he knows you feel the semi-hard struggling through the confines of his pants. Lame.

“Joel,” You say, soft. Your hands slide up his arm to cradle his jaw. Lightning flashes into the room, giving you a glimpse of Joels tight expression. He whispers your name back, just as soft.

“This is normal.” 

Its normal, it is! Except for the fact that you guys havent had sex yet. The stress of being intimate is too much, kills his boner in a blink. The longer he waits the worse the anxiety gets.

“I-I know.”

You place a hand on his chest, feeling it pound away like crazy through all the soft muscle.  

“Youve been taking your medication, right?”

Has he?

The silence of him thinking is proof enough. “Joel-”

He sighs, rubbing his eyes through the darkness .“I know, I know. Shoot, Im sorry. I just forget sometimes.”

“Its okay.” The pad of your thumb strokes the tops of his cheek, and you press a tender kiss to his mouth to soothe him.  “...Want me to remind you?”

The softness of your lips has him a bit dazed. “Huh?”

“I said, do you want me to remind you? I can- You know, call you before you leave work. Make sure you take them.”

“You know I wake up at five-o-clock in the mornin’ , right?”

“I know.” 

In a whisper, “Okay.”

Joels rough palms trail down your back and stop at the curve of your butt, finger tips delicately tracing the skin above your shorts. You shiver.

Barely above a whisper. “We dont have to go all the way.”

He says your name again, laced with worry. He doesnt want you to feel pressured. 

You pull your leg off his hip and push yourself up, settling your hands on either side of Joels head.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Yes-”

“-And you cant get all in your head about it. You stay here, with me. You stay present.”

“Okay, okay.” He nods, a bit defeated. “I will stay present.”

“When you...When you say you dont wanna have sex, what is it that youre thinking exactly? I know you said you just get really nervous but I feel like youre not being totally honest.”

Joel stays quiet, idly rubbing your sides. Maybe you are a cat. Just getting to feel any part of you is soothing. “I jus’ want you to feel good. ‘Fraid ill do somethin’ you dont like.”

“You cant assume how I feel, Joel. Being intimate.. It takes time to learn what the other person likes.”

He sighs. “I know.” Youre always right.

Adding on, “Like I said, we dont have to go all the way,” You lean further back, situating yourself on his hips. He lets out a shaky breath when he feels the pressure of your ass through his sweats.

“But, I want to start somewhere. I want to feel you.” 

“Fuck- Um-” Hes shaking now, letting you grind your hips down onto him. Joel cant seem to control the way his hips instinctively push up to meet yours. Youre both becoming of a mess of little gasps and hot breaths and tiny whimpers already.

You hunch forward, guiding his hand under your your shirt- His shirt- letting him feel up the supple skin of your stomach, then the area where your ribs are, then your-

“And I want you to feel me,”

Surprisingly, you did actually go all the way that night.

Your sex life was a bit of a rocky start, but after Joel got over most of his anxiety, you learned quickly just how goddamn insatiable he was. Five years in and he still regularly makes you sore. 

There are a couple things you learned about him and his sexual interests. He loves to take you in his truck, in your kitchen, in your bathroom, on your couch. Other, riskier places. Anywhere that isnt your bed apparently, not that he isnt fucking you there either.

Joel is handsy, so handsy infact it embarasses you to no end, especially when youre infront of others. Thats usually how it starts, too. First he kisses you, then gropes your hips and your ass, and the next thing you know, youre cumming on his fingers. Then hed bend you over, or get you on your back, or make you ride him. Is it really riding if hes just slamming up into you until your brain turns into mush?

He likes that too. Making you not think.

Youd be lying if you said its only ever him. Sleepy morning handjobs before work, whining to him over the phone and touching yourself to his voice, arching your back into him while you're washing dishes, sucking him off after hours in his office.

And while most men prefer lingerie or little costumes, Joel likes dresses. Dresses that are discreet so he can take you in the backyard when he comes home early and sees you gardening. Or when youre both at a friends house and hes had a little too much to drink and finds himself alone with you. Dresses that make it easy to play his favorite game with you. I touch you, and you make sure we dont get caught by being too loud. Joel really is the worst sometimes.

Now, you only ever wear pants when its cold, or to bed or sometimes when youre lounging, like today. Youre in some shorts and a tank top. Otherwise, its dresses all year round, usually retro styles or ones meant for spring. Joels not picky though, he loves any dress on you.

Even if you wear an extremely modest, white lacey sleep dress, looking like some kind of vintage ghost, the man would still keep you up all night. And he has. He said you looked like a princess. You guess you kind of did.

The entire thing is like an unspoken arrangement between you both. He doesnt tell you to wear them, you just do.

And he works hard to spoil you, so why not buy as many cute dresses as possible? 

You got a cute dress today too, on the same day Joel has off. You think its going to be a new favorite of his.

The big polymailer stays hidden behind your back. Be casual. “Uh- Nothing!”

“Nothin’?”

“Mhm.”

“Whats behind your back then?”

You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.”

“Lemme see then. Show me your hands-”

“Hey, Mrs. Miller!”

Both you and Joel turn your heads to the voice, and only one of you has the energy to fake a a smile. Your neighbor is stopping in his driveway, having come back from a jog it looks.

“Hi, Lee.” 

Joel really, really, really doesnt like Lee. You dont like him either, but youre not one to cause problems. Lee on the other hand, is. Hes a bit younger than you, and a lot younger than Joel. Hes one of those tech dudes with a massive ego, thinks that youll be swayed by his money and his “charm” and youth as if youre some sad housewife in need of saving. Gross. 

And another thing, Lee doesnt even actually live here! Hes here ever so often to visit his dad between, you dont know, tech expos? You forget. Joel believes he started showing up more often to see you. 

Youre walking towards the porch again. Joels looking especially unhappy to see him today, knuckles pulled taut into a fist. His lips stay pressed into a thin line, careful not to let anything slip out. He usually lets you do most of the talking, as much as it pains him. 

Joels really not a fan of the way Lees eyes take a trip up your bare legs. Little shit.

“Out with no shoes again, Mrs. Miller?”

“You know me, Im uh- Im weird.”

“The weird ones do it best.” He smiles, all teeth. It gives you the creeps. His attention is on Joel now. Its like watching a puppy try to one up a wolf. “Right, Joel?”

“Uh huh.” Whatever that means.

“Actually, I've been meaning to ask you something, Mrs. Miller.” Lee crosses into your driveway and you glance briefly at Joel, as if to make sure he isnt going to start growling at the other to stay away. Youre clutching the package to your chest now. 

“Have you ever been to a support group for uh- you know, the spouses of addicts?  I have a friend from work and shes really struggling.” 

Lees tone is sugary sweet, but the fake kind you put in diet soda except that stuff is way better. Joel sighs from the door. You stand there, dumbfounded on the porch steps because what the fuck is he going on about. 

You clear your throat, keeping your voice firm. “No. Ive never needed to.”  

Joels voice cuts in like a knife. “Been clean for almost twenty years now.”

“Yeah but, you know,” He shrugs, squinting a bit under the morning sun. “Relapses happen.”

Joel and Lee are at a stand still, and the moment Joel lets the arm leaning on the frame drop to his side, you know youre in for a lot of trouble. You move quickly towards the door. “We have to get ready for a- uh- a thing? but Im sorry about your friend.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Miller. Im doing my best to support her.” And before he turns away, he just has to be slimy to you. “If you need someone to talk to, Im here for you.”

“No, that really wont be necess-”

Joels slinging a strong arm around you to yank you back inside before shutting the door. 

“Motherfucker,” He hisses to himself, stomping through the walkway and into the kitchen.

“How-” You rub your eyes, letting them adjust to the light inside of the house. You put the package down onto the bar counter that opens up the kitchen and follow Joel to the fridge. “How does he know?? I thought-”

“Been living in this house for decades now,” His expression is tight, brows knitted together while he chugs a bottle of water. “People talk. ‘Specially if I'm being rolled into an ambulance on more than one occasion.” Joel frowns. “Fuck- I shoulda punched him in the fuckin’ face- Do you see how hard he tries so hard to flirt with you infront’a me?”

“I know, love. I was there.” You take the bottle from his hand and set it to the side, then wrap your arms around him. “Try not to let it get to you okay?”

Joel sighs into your hair, giving your body a squeeze. “I know, I know, but jus’ hearin’ him tryin’ta use my baggage to make a pass at you…S’fuckin’ evil.”

“I agree, but I dont want his blood on the driveway.”

“So get it on his driveway instead, got it.”

You giggle and tip your head up to kiss him. The tension eases from Joels shoulders, and he cups your cheeks, letting his worries melt away into your mouth. When the pads of his fingers start to slide under your tank top, youre leaning back. Youll be here for a while if this goes any further.

Joel mindlessly chases your lips, looking a bit pouty now that its over.

“Im gonna start getting ready for the barbecue, okay?”

“This early?”

“I like being punctual.” 

“My brother wont give a damn if were late.” He noses your jaw, pressing a kiss here and there. Your knees are beginning to feel weak. The bastard is trying to distract you.

“But I do. The farmers market opened today, and I promised Maria I'd get her fresh strawberries before we got there, remember?”

“Alright, alright.” He grumbles into your shoulder.

Joel lets you go, watching you round the bar counter to get your package and disappear upstairs.

-

Ever since you came down to a freshly showered Joel, and got into the car with the gift bags you prepared for Maria and Tommy, Hes been staring at you. One wrong move and the drools gonna start pouring out of his mouth.

Your hair is in its relatively natural state, freshly washed and shiny from the oil you put in it. You put on some light makeup, and went a bit heavy handed on the blush to look sunkissed, and topped it off with a flavored lip gloss Joel especially enjoys. 

Now, the dress. Its a pink floral mid-length dress, with a low cut sweetheart neckline and a corset style backing to cinch your waist and push out your chest. The material is thick and pretty, and there are two other layers under the skirt to keep its shape. You have on a pair of little pink pumps with little bows to match. 

The drive to the farmers market is fairly peaceful, the windows are half down and theres music playing at low volume on the radio. You and Joel have different tastes in music, but one genre you can always agree on is alternative rock. 

The weathers beautiful, sun high in the sky, and its not too hot or humid. The day really is perfect. Youre gonna soak up some sun when youre at the barbecue. Hopefully, they made lemonade again too.

Joel has been mostly quiet throughout your shopping. While it would worry some, youve been with him long enough to know that he just has a lot on his mind. What hes thinking about? Maybe youll learn when you make it back home at the end of the day.

You gasp, strolling through the grass to a stand with a mountain of apples. Granny smith, Macintosh, Pink Ladys, Honeycrisp, the works. He grunts, trying to keep the things that are already in your basket steady. You came for strawberries and are going to leave with much more than that.

Joel nudges you softly. “Remember, this is quality stuff, meaning itll go bad faster. Dont get too much.”

“Okay, got it.” You beam, and then begin inspecting the Pink Lady apples first, trying to find the ones with the best color.  He keeps the basket within reach so you can drop your picks in.

"These were Sarahs favorites."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, it was funny 'cause we started arguin' over these or Red Delicious. I think Red Delicious is better."

"Thats so cute! Hmm. Should we get one for her? A Pink Lady?"

"Uh," He thinks on it for a moment, unsure, but the smile on your face helps him make a decision. "Sure, why not."

You drop two perfect Pink Ladys into the basket, moving onto the next pile.

“Hey, Joel.” You grin, holding out a wrinkled granny smith apple. “This one looks like you”

“Ha ha.” He deadpans, and grabs it from you to put back. In turn, hes reaching for the runt of the pile. A pathetically small one sitting near the bottom. “Now this one looks like you.”

“Does not!”

“Does too.” 

The next stand has golden kiwis, and youre practically dragging Joel forward to try them. You ask for one, and the man at the stand slices it into halves, giving you a plastic spoon to go with. 

You let Joel smell it first. “S’good.”

“Lets see if it tastes good.”

You sink your spoon into it, humming when you see how soft and easy it is to scoop out. In your mouth it goes!

Its tastes sweet, a bit mango-y and fucking delicious. You bounce in place, spoon feeding Joel next. “Oh yeah,” He smiles, smacking his lips a bit to really let the taste settle on his tongue. “Were takin’ some of these.”

You take one, then two, then three and four then five and as you reach for the sixth one, Joels stopping you with a gentle hand. 

“Darlin’.” 

“Right.” 

For the next few stands its just you and Joel trying various kinds of fruit. Starfruit, blueberries, some mangos, and then youre going back to the truck.

“I think my favorites were the mangos and golden kiwis. I hope Maria and Tommy have enough space in their fridge for all of this.”

“They moved into a bigger house, I reckon their fridge s’probably bigger, too.”

“What time is it?” 

You let go of Joels arm so he can switch the basket from one hand to the other. 

“‘Bout…” Hes squinting at his watch. “12:34 in the afternoon.”

“Oh! Guess we got the shopping done sooner than I expected. Hmm. Should we stop somewhere in the mean time?-" You snap your finger when you remember something. "They opened up this cafe that has cats in it! We can drink coffee and play with them for bit! The next fourty-five minutes will go by super fast."

“Youre gonna make Cement jealous.”

You bat your hand dismissively. “Hes not gonna caaare.” 

“Oh yes he will. And remind me again why we named our cat Cement?

“Uh, we were both drunk and had gotten him the day before without a name picked out?”

“A whole year later and we still kept it. Worst pet owners ever.” Joel chuckles, opening the passenger door for you like he always does. 

“Thank you.”

“Mhm.”

The giant basket of fruit goes into the back seat next to the gift bags before Joel slots himself into the drivers seat. 

You fumble with the radio a bit, trying to see what else is on but ultimately landing back on your preferred station. Theyve been playing a lot of Linkin Park recently. Hell yeah. Joel buckles himself in at last, and pulls out of the parking lot. 

“Marias gonna teach me how to make baked chicken,” You hum, gazing outside the window.

“You sure youre not jus’ unteachable?”

“Ha ha,” You lightly shove his shoulder, making him smile. “I thought you loved the meat sauce pasta I learned how to make.”

He settles into his seat more comfortably at the stop light, elbow rested on the window. “Got me with that one. Think I like ground turkey over beef, though.”

“Yeah? Me too. The beef tastes better but the turkey is lighter. Stops me from feeling all sick.”

“Agreed.”

Youre looking out the windshield now. Where did all the buildings go? Youre out of the city. 

“Uh, Joel?”

“Mm?”

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere to kill time.”

“Yeah but where?”

“Youll see.” 

Your brows pinch together. “I see a whole lot of nothing except for trees."

“Almost there.”

Joel makes a hasty left turn onto some campgrounds. Your stomach starts to twist into excited knots. Is he gonna show you a baby deer or something? Bunnies? He used to be a park ranger for this area, and would tell you stories about all sorts of baby animals hed run into.

The car comes to a stop, and he turns the engine off. Silence.

“So…Were out in the woods to kill time?”

“Mhm.” Joel unbuckles his seat belt and twists into the back to grab the spare jacket he usually keeps there, then gets out of the truck and comes around the back to open the door for you. 

He holds your hand to help you get down from the passenger side, and as soon as both of your shoes hit the ground Joel is on you. 

You dont know where your hands should go, youve kissed Joel a thousand times and yet you still get so flustered when he catches you by surprise. You keep your hands on his shoulders for now, letting him press wet kisses to your neck and shoulder.

“This is new right? The dress?” He gives your ass an appreciative squeeze through the fabric. “Thought you looked so pretty when you came down stairs in it.” 

Your heads spinning. Something about your dress? 

“Woulda been okay if you let me have you earlier.” He pulls away, examining your flushed face cradled by his hand. Every part of you just fits so well in his palms. “Then I thought, why not have you now? We got time to spare.”

“Joel- We- Someone could see us-” You sputter, and Joels already shaking his head with a knowing smirk. He pulls you around to the bed of the truck, popping it open, only pausing to spread open the jacket he grabbed, just having just thrown it in there when he came around to get you.

“No ones gonna come lookin’ for us.” He turns you around, pushing you down onto your front. “As long as youre quiet.” 

Fuck. You really hate this game. At least, you like to tell yourself that.

Blood rushes to your ears while Joels rough palms lift up the skirt of your dress, exposing your ass and thighs to the cool air. He whistles from behind you. 

“Red lace panties?” His fingers dont shy away from tracing along the fabric covering your cunt. “This new too?”

You crane your neck over your shoulder to look at his face. “Uh.. Surprise?”

Joels smiling now, fingers dipping under the lace. “Thas' awfully sweet of you.”

His touch slips and slides around your growing wetness, then trails down to your clit. Your voice wobbles a bit and fuck- fuck hes going too fast. “Joel- Ah-” You whimper and try to push yourself up to look at him but his hand is steady on your spine, keeping you down. 

Smug, “Go on, sweetheart. Keep sayin’ my name. Jus’ like that.”

A whine escapes you when he pulls away, “Nooo.” You push your ass back, as if to entice him. You succeed, because hes skipped his usual routine of fucking you with his hands and is now unbuckling his belt.

Joel rolls you onto your back, and peels your underwear all the way off, bunching it up and shoving it into his back pocket. Your face burns just watching him.

“Think i'll hold onto these for a lil’ while.”

His hands push the back of your knees towards your chest, exposing your heat. Youll never get used to the way he just seems so interested just watching your cunt squeeze around nothing. 

“Thats-” You swallow, pushing yourself up onto your elbows. "Joel.”

“Relax." He coos, "Seen it a thousand times already, and ill be seein' it a thousand more. Get used to it, honey.”

Your attention flickers down to where his dick is about to meet your entrance. Joels nudging you down onto your back again and pulling the top of your dress down to expose your chest. Its when youre distracted that he actually moves to push himself in.

Both of you groan together, and Joel could never get bored of fucking you, not when your cunt just pulses around him everytime hes inside you.

Joel wastes no time fucking you once he eases all the way inside. Youre trying your best to keep quiet. Shit is no easy task. Its like Joel is trying to get you guys arrested.

He props himself up with a hand near your head, and lets the other keep one of your legs pinned open. The moans start to claw out of your throat. “Joel- Joel-” 

“Shh. Thas’ enough.” He growls through his teeth, fucking you harder. “Youre gonna- Gh- Get us caught-”

Something rustles between the trees, making you both freeze. You clasp your hands over your mouth, watching Joel straighten up to look around.

After a few seconds of squinting, Joel can see a few foxes moving about through the trees. Thank fuck. His shoulders visibly relax.

Hushed, “E-Everything okay?”

“Yeah, jus’ some animals.” 

And like that, hes back to it. His dick is going to make your eyes permanently stay rolled into your head. 

Joel is always just so handsome when hes pounding into you. His forehead gets shiny with sweat, and his jaw is tight from clenching his teeth, keeping himself quiet so he can focus on your moans. His face is noticeably redder against his usual farmers tan too. Really, hes just so attractive.

A flurry of yes and harder and fuck spills out of your mouth and into your palms. Not too loud, you try to remind yourself.

“Joel- S’too much-”

“Nah, thas’ not it.” He huffs, humorous. “You can take it. Y'always do. In fact, you love gettin’ your cunt bullied by me, aint that right?” As if to get his point across, he thrust in all the way to the hilt, making you keen. You forgot how to breathe, lungs drawing tight in your chest.

"Fuck," You manage to squeeze out.

Your palms push weakly at his shoulders, trying to ground yourself somehow. His head drops to the junction of your neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply.

“You good?” He checks in, breath hot on your skin. As if your crying isnt enough.

“So g-good, Joel- Fuck- Youre so good.” 

With a little nod, Joels pushing himself up, switching to slow and deep strokes, really digging himself into you, and trying to find that spot he likes to call home.

He massages your chest, then squeezes your sides and your hips and finally, his thumb finds your clit. Immediately, you jolt. 

“Oh fuck-” 

“Quiet.” And he says it to keep the charade going, even though his favorite thing is hearing your sobs.

His thumb rubbing incessantly against your that sweet little nub of yours. You choke, and Joels chuckling, watching the way you squirm, body not knowing whether it should lean into his touch because its too good or away because its too much.

It starts with this firey feeling under the pad of his thumb, then deep inside your stuffed cunt. Youre going to cum. 

Your hands fly to your mouth again, and you get all wide eyed from the sensation. Its cute. Your muscles pull taut, legs locking around Joels hips. Youre wailing into your palm when it happens.

“Good girl,” His voice soothes you through it. “Very good.”

He pets away the fly aways sticking to your sweaty face when its over. Your eyes drop shut while you catch your breath. 

Joels moving again now. He rolls his hips a few times, and thumb is building the foundation of another orgasm in you. Youre shaking badly.

Your words slur too, “Cant- Too soon- Joel- Joel-”

“Another one.” Joel says firmly, but breathless. 

Youre gasping, not sure where to focus your eyes. The trees around you look like theyre spinning. Your attention is back on Joel, whos looking rather satisfied watching you squirm and cry. If thats how wants to play, then fine.

Your hands slide up Joels biceps, and rests on the nap of his neck to bring him down. “Juh-Joel,” You pant, cradling his face with both hands. “Youre so good- The best-”

Oh, Joel likes that one, you can tell by the way he looks away briefly. Shyness. Excitement runs up your spine. Joel loves being told hes doing well. 

“You are- Nghh-” You swallow the drool in your mouth, trying to get the words out clearly. “The best husband I could ever ask for.”

Joel wheezes, head dropping into the curve of your shoulder. “Please.”

“S’true,” You nod rapidly, fingers curling into his hair. “Youre so good to me and-and youre mine and- Joel-  Im yours.”

“Jesus-” He groans, soaking up the feeling of you pressing kisses to his face and up his jaw. 

“Hhah-  No one else can have me, okay? No one- Not even-”

The name doesnt even come out of your mouth before Joels coming to a stop to slip his arms all the way around your middle. With the new leverage he has on your body, hes drilling his way into you. You fucking squeal, rules now long forgotten. Youre a useless ragdoll in his arms and he wouldnt have it any other way.

Your lips are shiny with spit and left over lip gloss, and he can still taste the mintiness in his tongue. Every now and again your eyes drop shut, but his dick just punches into your guts a little harder. Look at me. 

Your brain is mush, just the way he likes it, and youre perfectly pliant in his arms, babbling over how good you feel. Hes kisses along the valley of your breasts now, stopping to suck the flesh of your nipples.

Youre just so pretty. Even when you have bedhead, or youre snotty from a cold, or youre all dirty from working in the garden  youre still so pretty. Including now, all sweaty with you lipgloss all smudged and your mascara starting to run. Youre perfect. 

Joel grunts loud, jaw clenched tight as he gets lost in the feeling of your insides. His perfect little wife.

When he cums, hes doubling over with a loud grunt, getting a few last thrusts in before his spent floods your cunt.

Youre blinking away your tears, now watching the clouds inch along the sky. It really is a beautiful day. You pet Joels sweaty hair, and kiss the side of his temple. Your core throbs faintly. Jesus, he did a number on you.

“Love,” You say softly, patting his back.

“Mm?”

“Get up.” Another pat. “Youre squishing me.” 

Joel backs off to buckle himself up, but you stay seated to catch your breath and adjust your dress. At least it didnt get ripped during all the… Commotion. Not like last time.

“I need my underwear back.”

“Nope,”

“Joel.”

He kisses the center of your forehead and helps you down from the bed and into the passenger seat instead.  “Told you i'm keepin’ ‘em.”

You sputter, “I cant go to barbecue commando!”

“Sure you can.” He pops open the glove compartment and gets out some tissues, hand snaking under your dress again to clean you. You sigh softly at the sensation.

“Youre the worst.”

“I am indeed the worst.” Joel pulls the seatbelt over your chest and clicks it in. “You can tell me all about it on the way to Tommys.” 

[cherry-romper]

Loving You Sounds Like a Song

Playlist

+ Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Marco, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Levi, Erwin, Hange, Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie, Porco, Pieck, Zeke

Eren; Radio - Lana Del Rey

Not even they can stop me now

Their heavy words can't bring me down

No one even knows how hard life was

Lick me up and take me like a vitamin, 'Cause my body's sweet like sugar venom

How do you like me now?

Mikasa; All I Wanted - Paramore

Think of me when you're out, when you're out there

I could follow you to the beginning, Just to relive the start

And maybe then we'd remember to slow down, At all out favourite parts

All I wanted was you

Armin; Ocean eye - Billie Eilish

Cant stop staring at those ocean eyes

You really know how to make me cry

I've never fallen from quite this high

I've been walking through a world gone blind

Careful creature made friends with time

Marco; Heart To Heart - Mac DeMarco

To all the days we were together, To all the time we were apart

So, we never saw the start, Of each other's lives

Sentimentally assumed, Walking parallels

Heart to heart

Jean; FOR YOUR LOVE - Maneskin

I wanna be the first man you look at tonight

I wanna be a good man and see you smile

I wanna hold you in my arms tonight

For your love, I'll do whatever you want

I've got so much to give to you

Connie; Nothing Breaks Like a Heart - Mark Ronson, Miley Cyrus

This world can hurt you, It cuts you deep and leaves a scar

And nothing breaks like a heart

We live and die by pretty lies

We got all night to fall in love

nothing gon' save us now

Sasha; BIRDS OF A FEATHER - Billie Eilish

I want you to stay

Nothing left to lose without my baby

Can't change the weather, might not be forever, But if it's forever, it's even better

And I don't know what I'm crying for

I'll love you till the day that I die

Levi; Cinnamon Girl - Lana Del Rey

You try to push me out, But i just find my way back in

There's things I wanna say to you, But i'll just let you love

Like if you hold me without hurting me, You'll be the first that ever did

Hold me, love me, touch me, honey, Be the first who ever did

Hange; i wanna be your girlfriend - girl in red

I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips

I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath

Although my lips are blue and I'm cold

I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna be your bitch

Erwin; Twilight - Boa

It's a necessary evil

You give me an inner sanctity

Your feelings and mine are all lonely

And dawn comes, you're there lying with me

And you reach out to touch me, But I am in the twilight

Reiner; i love you - Billie Eilish

Its not true, Tell me I've been lied to, Crying isn't like you

What the hell did I do?

You didn't mean to say "I love you"

I love you, And I don't want too

I can't escape the way I love you

Bertholdt; Strangers - Ethel Cain

"Don't talk to strangers or you might fall in love"

How funny, I never considered myself tough

I tried to be good, an I no good?

I just wanted to be yours, can I be yours?

Am I making you feel sick?

Annie; We cant be friends (wait for you love) - Ariana Grande

I didn't think you'd understand me

Just wanna let this story die, And I'll be alright

We can't be friends, But id like to just pretend

Wait for you love

Me and my truth, we sit in silence

Porco; Never Let Me Go - Florence + The Machine

Reflections still look the same to me

No need to pray, no need to speak

Found the place to rest my head, Never let me go

And all this devotion was rushing out of me, And the crashes are heaven for a sinner like me

But the arms of the ocean delivered me

Pieck; Linger - The Cranberries

I'm sure, I'm not being rude, But its just your attitude

I swore I would be true

Why are you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you?

But I'm in so deep, You know, I'm such a fool for you

You got me wrapped around your finger

Did you have to let it linger?

Zeke; When We Were Young - Adele

Everybody loves the things you do

Everybody here is watching you, 'Cause you feel like home, You're a dream come true

Can I have a moment? Before I go?

Hoping you're someone I used to know

You look like a movie, You sound like a song, My god this reminds me, of when we were young

We were scared of getting old, It made us restless

[f1nalboys]

hi! may i request headcannons of enemies to lovers with bo sinclair? 💖

LOVEDDDD writing this!!!! i missed writing for bo :(((( (me when al i do is write for this guy) anyways i hope you enjoy and thank you for the request!!!!

Bo Sinclair x GN!Reader

WORD COUNT: 869

WARNINGS: brief mention of stockholm syndrome, brief mentions throughout about bo being an evil evil guy, mentions of the basement/chair/being duct taped to said chair, canon typical stuff. me pushing my bo praising agenda.... also not proofread sorry guys

so this is absolutely how any relationship with bo starts 

youre a victim babe CONGRATULATIONS <3333

so in my own personal (and correct opinion) bo likes someone with some fight in them

i mean, we saw how excited he was when he had to chase after carly

and ive read the script and bo is extra into carly in that script 

anyways, he loves having to Work to break you in

and trust and believe, he will break you in

you would come into town with a group and bo would be drawn to you immediately

not in a love at first sight kinda way (or at least, not like how it is typically LMFAO) but in a ‘interesting…’ way, you know?

anyways, he’d prefer you coming with a group because hes gonna seriously enjoying killing them all off and showing you that youre alone

youre getting strapped to that chair too

(again, congratulations <333)

he will take his time

bo doesnt have the best patience until it comes to you

your fighting or begging would get old but he cant kill you

he doesnt know WHY he cant, but he just cant

which pisses him off to no end.

youd stay in the basment for minimum a month, longer if you hold out that long

now, your time there is not fun by any means, but i dont think it would be the worst

because once Bo decides that for some reason youre different than the others he brought down here, and that he wants to keep you, hes going to break you down by being sweet

it would fuck you up, 100%

one day he’s carving into you and making you wish you were dead and the next hes carefully feeding you some (burnt) breakfast food and cooing at you

he’s also complimenting you whenever you listen to him, firing off those dopamine receptors in the only way he knows how

you dont scream when he walks down into the basement? he’s patting your cheek with that big toothy grin of his telling you how sweet you are.

you dont fight him when he wraps the duct tape around your wrists and ankles? he’s telling you how well youre doing, how hes gonna try and be gentle with you, shushing you gently when you wince, maybe even hinting that if you keep being good for him that he might stop duct taping you to the chair…

he fucks with your head

and he KNOWS hes fucking with your head

he can see the way you stop yourself from smiling when hes kind to you, how you get a flash of confusion or even anger when you and he are getting along

it gets him off fear to say

anyways, im saying all this to say a true enemies to lovers with bo is stockholm syndrome but he makes it sexy so…

you know youre pretty much in the clear when he takes you up to the house

first few times is only to feed you and then back to the garage you go

its just to get a feel for how youre feeling towards bo

ANY whiff of you trying to run or trick him and youre dead

sorry to say

but if you are a little scared and just want to stay on his good side, youre totally good AND hes gonna be soooo proud of you

sorry im feeling faint thinking about bo praising me….. ok sorry back to what i was saying

the first night you stay in the house with him hes on high alert

he might pretend to sleep in the bed, but hes not

hes holding his breath and waiting for you to try and kill him in his sleep 

once youre at the point where youre living in the house with him and hes giving you some responsibilities, you have that man hook line and sinker

he is obsessed with you, had been from the start, but he is showing it way more now

and hes CLINGYYYYYY ugh im giggling

hes standing in the doorway watching you do the dishes he got dirty and hes like ok….im heading to the garage…………if you finish you can join me………or you can finish the dishes later….maybe……whatever i dont care…

like ok liar ill come watch you be a slut bent over a car

he doesnt ever really ask you to be his partner but its kind of obvious with how he acts? like idk how to describe it, he just treats you like hed treat a partner without asking you

because lets be fr what would you do? say no?

anyways once youre his partner he has eyes for no one else

hes not gonna stop the killing or the nefarious shit he gets up to in the garage with victims, but like… he doesn't like them the way he loves you <33 

yeah maybe its me being insane but i dont think bo would be the worst slasher to date

weird circumstances get you to that point but once youre past that then youre kinda set

hes whipped like idk what to tell you and you cant prove me wrong

[cringe6fail6star6]

kyubei selkie thragg

@bluewizard1 u r responsible for me watching madoka magica

Reader n thragg in cecils eyes:

random pictures of cats n 1 with dogs

General headcanons of living with literal god whos kinda an asshole:

He will be a cat at most times. Because you cant make him: wash the dishes, or clean up after himself, or make him actually talk to people (cecil specifically), or help you with witches - if he doesnt have opposable thumbs.

Turns into human form only if it helps HIM. Which usually when you try to force him to do more pet thing - like going outside, or play with cat toys, or socialize with your magical girl friends (he knows you hate explaining what he is and how your arrengement works).

Eve looking at your arms."Oh my god, did you hurt yourself?" "No thats just my cats doing." and there 6"7 beast of a man with fursuit on just saying "meow" in a flat tone and now you have to stop new magical girls face from turning to terror.

Sharp claws sticking into your eyelids is fast way to wake up - painful and efficient - just like thragg likes to go about things.

(Mentioned in previous post but i love this hc so much) If he doesnt want you to leave, you wont. Its not a discussion. Hes already heavy in his cat form, that when he turns into more human - he weighs like a truck. Truck thats lying on your lap and forcing your hand to return to his head.

And if he does want to be alone, he just dissapears. You wont find him even if you try to find him. Probably left through some tear in reality he himself created.

Bath time is the worst. Before he shows his human form, he could just meow next to the bathtub/shower in peace, annoy the shit out of you,(see you naked), and push the shampoos and soaps inside and to under the water. After finding out he can turn human, hes left outside the bathtub and he screams even louder. You leave him for an hour without watching him and now bunch of your plants are uprooted and your couch is ruined.

"Stop pretending like i havent seen you naked already. You seen me naked too. Stop locking me outside." "Its different! You were a cat!" "No i wasnt. It was a disguise i took to seem more friendly to yiu and other magical girls who i gave their wishes to." Bc hes oh so friendly "...You were a cat and i am human. That just learned youre also human." "..." "..." "So if you see me naked you will calm down and let me in?" "NO!"

If you pet an animal on the way home he WILL notice. If hes in a cat form its at least can be chalked up to "that his animal form, just normal cat behavior". If hes in a human form, no one will believe you that you didnt have an "exciting night" and instead had to fight for your life with a god in a kitchen bc turns out petting a kitten outside is a sin.

<-u send this into magical girl groupchat at least twice a week to explain why you cant come to some random meeting.

He doesnt actually sleep, so catching him off guard to take a picture is hard. You manage. But he looks like biblically accurate angel on a good day, and break your phone on a bad day.(prev related)

Hes so awkward in both forms. He thinks he looks nonchalant and aurafarming master - but hes just awkward. Dont ruin his delusions if you want to have fingers.

If you invite someone in your house and dont tell him three weeks prior, he either attacks their ankles or just doesnt return home before that visitor leaves. But in his human form he just keeps interrupting them and making their stay insufferable by refusing to follow social rules.

He wont have normal clothes to wear that isnt his literal skin* for a while, both because he refuses to wear human clothes AND because he refuses to be measured. But if he does get measurement and goes to shop with you: he chooses them most expensive and comfiest pajamas the mall can offer. He wont wear official clothing, but skin tight? Sure. Reminds him of his skin*. Its preffered.

(Half a reason why he wore your clothes bc its really tight ie familiar and comforting bc its well yours. And that was a reason why you pulled him into the mall.)

Hes a freak and keeps pushing that "his animal form influences his mind too you know" just so he can stay a freak. If you encounter any other thing like him they will tell you that hes not normal and now you need accept that youre living with not just "a kyobei that doesnt act human bc he isnt human" but with actual "kyobei weirdo whos weirdo even for his own kind".

*Selkie skin - is what selkie wear in their human forms on naked bodies, including in this au. Also can be given up as a sign of trust and/or if selkie wants to be claimed and mated with the person. Many stories include where sailors steal selkie skin to force selkie to marry them.(adding for my own sanity)

[veren-cos]

Why Can't it be me?

Sebastian x reader who fell for Sam

Sebastian's Pov

Part 2 Part 3

Why couldn't it have been me? I've seen every step of you falling for him. I've been there the whole time. And yet I can't help but think, why not me?

Every single time I look at you I am captivated. In awe. How can one person be so extraordinary? You took my heart the moment we met. And yet...

It was 4 seasons ago.

"Hey Abigail? Do you think I should let him beat me?" I was playing pool when we first met. How I wish I could go back and try again.

"Nah, that wouldn't be any fun!" She looked up from her phone. "Oh hey, farmer!"

'Farmer?' I thought. When I finally saw who Abby was talking about, you were already next to me.

"Hey! Sebastian, right? You're like the only person I hadn't met yet. I'm the new farmer." And you smiled. Your smile shown so brightly it beamed through my gloomy head. You shook my hand. "It's nice to meet you!"

"Ah, finally met my buddy, yeah? He's stuck in his room all day so I guess you wouldn't have seen him yet. We come here every Friday! You should come join us sometime." Yhe two of you were already friends. And I could tell Sam was enamoured with you. I don't blame him.

And you did join us. Every Friday, you'd come play pool. Or if you had a rough day in the mines, you shit talk me and Sam with Abigail. You always teased Sam a little more though. I didn't notice for a while, but you seemed different with him. You put on a front.

Sometimes when I went to Abigail's, I could hear you and her practically squealing. I should have figured it was about Sam. At one point, I thought it was about me. I dont know how I convinced myself that.

Sam is just so perfect. He is outgoing. He is kind. Sam is social, and good looking. Of course you would like him over me. You two are perfect for each other. I could never come in between it. There was never space for me in the beginning.

I see the way you look at him. Stealing glances when he isn't watching. You have this dumb smile on your face. The dumb smile I wish was reserved just for me.

But now as I walk down to the beach, you are holding his hand. You look so happy. And you know he likes you back. His smile is even dumber than yours.

I see him grab your waist. I watch him lean in.

And he kisses you.

My best friend is kissing the person I fell in love with. He pulls you closer, running his fingers through your hair. You leaned back. You swing your arms around his shoulders.

And i still cant help but think, why cant it be me. Why can't it be me! It's terrible. I should be happy for him. I should be happy for you. Why cant I be happy for you?

I pretend I don't see it. That's what I'll do. I will keep walking. I won't cry. I'll keep walking, not crying. Yes. I am completely okay with this.

I made it to the beach by the time I get control of my breathing. But then I hear something.

"Hey sebastian!!" And you smile at me. Like it isn't breaking my heart.

"Hey, farmer." I look down at the ground. Why did you come out here?

"Awh man, whats up? You know, i was just talking to Sam. Would you want to hang out with us? Maybe play some pool? We haven't actually hung out the three of us in a while.." You offer your hand out to me.

"I'm good." I practically swat your hand away. "I bet you'd absolutely love it for it to just be you and Sam, arent i right?" I drag the words out. All the hurt is leaking into to them. "Because you just absolutely love him. Don't you?"

"I do like Sam, but-"

I shout, "what kind of 'but' is there?! You don't like me. I get it. But I'm in love with you, farmer. I can't help it." I can't do this today. Not anymore. Not after I saw you kiss him.

I walk away but you come after me.

"Sebastian hey!!" You reach for my shoulder, but I shrug you off. "Sebastian, come on! You aren't even listening to me."

"And why should I? Huh? Leave me alone farmer. I'll see you when I see you."

And I leave. I don't look back. Maybe I should have just moved out of this damn valley. Gotten into the city.

Anything could be better than this rotten life.

Masterlist

There may or may not be a part 2 coming to this 🤭 (unsure as to when, and no promises)

Is it bad I'm having fun writing this???? Lol

It was also super weird writing in this POV. I'm not sure if I'll keep it for the next part.

[wizisbored]

wip wednesday sentences for 14/5

BACKLOG DEFEATED!! i honestly cant remember when i was last up to date on this thing

content warnings for blood red: gun violence

From the Back of a Blood Red Mare @zyrafowe-sny @tamsinswriting @oriharaizayadividesintoslytherin @twyrewolf @somefishycat

He rolls his eyes as she finishes getting her shoulder clear. He moves behind her, and she feels the gentle press of his bandanna against her bloodied skin.

“There’s two. Any exit wounds, this time?”

She glances down. “Nope. That was kinda the point.”

“So you’re not going to pretend you didn’t get shot on purpose. You put yourself in front of me.”

“So you acknowledge your gang was trying to shoot you. Again.”

“You’re changing the subject.”

“It’s a relevant subject! They shot at you! What, would you rather I let them take you out?!”

“They wouldn’t have been shooting to kill!”

“Oh yeah? Stand up.” Ignoring his protests about her still-bleeding wounds, Nimona clambers to her feet.

Netherborne ch17 on @dreamed-for-not @somefishycat

 Lydia doesn’t want a replacement for her mother. She wants her mother. She’s a little girl that lived through a nightmare and only escaped it by losing her one protector. What on earth could Barbara say to that?

She finds herself pondering if there’s any harm in just asking.

“...Lydia, honey?” she says softly, once her crying has quieted back down to sniffling.

In Waiting @eriquin @tamsinswriting @auburnlaughter

So she stands and sips at the wine, and watches Hades and Persephone talk about her with the same eye she might’ve watched the chess match still laid out on the table. Eurydice has never considered herself a social person. It had taken weeks last summer to settle into the rhythm of ongoing contacts, and most of that had revolved around a shabby little pub by the railroad line. And now here she is, accompanying a god. She assumes, given there’s been no attempt to include her in the conversation, she’s not expected to join it. Persephone is getting her company from Hades now, she’s not needed. Why she was told to come out at all is beyond her. But still, it means she hears what they think of her so far. Persephone seems happy enough, even if they haven’t done much more together than drink and complain.

Wildfire @tamsinswriting @asha10100101010 @meggiejolly @phantom-z0ne @mystarduststories @stonemaskedtaliesin

“I swore I’d give up trying to count when I became a free man. It won’t take me back.”

“How’d you get free?”

“Good service to a man who wrote it into his will.”

Zazzalil doesn’t bother taking the time to ask what a will is. Someone let him go, something that she knows without question that Jeremiah would never do. She looks down at her half-drunk tea, and can’t bring herself to finish it. Setting it down beside her, she rests folded arms on her knees.

“I hate it here. Everyone seems to hate me, but they’re still fine using my labour. I can’t catch a fucking break. The food sucks - no offence, Janvoi. And the whole place moves so much that I constantly feel like I’m gonna throw up.”

“Still?” Jonny asks, sounding concerned. “I thought you were getting your sea legs.”

Zazzalil glances down at her legs. “My what?”

“Sea legs. You know, learning to compensate for the ship’s movement.

I'm Going to Live Twice @nonepizzawithleftglitter @whimsicalmeerkat @allofthebeanz @twyrewolf

The drum evens out. The piano falls into time with her. Paul falls into time with her. She shuts her eyes, trusting the rhythm she’s built to stop her from walking into the walls.

Paul?

Paul, are you there?

Paul, can you-

EMMA!

She almost stumbles out of her pacing, her hands flying to her head.

Emma, are you okay?!

This isn’t like it was before. This isn’t looking at Paul and hearing his music and just knowing what he’s trying to say. This is his call to her, and all the fear behind it, burrowing right into the back of her head.

I’m okay. They didn’t hurt me.

[cringefail-clown]

at last, where doing it man where MAKING THIS HAPPEN

cringes jakehal fic rec list

just so were clear: some of the fics are unfinished, and havent been updated in a while. leaving a comment to let the author know that youre reading and youre enjoying it is fine, but dont be a bag of dicks and harass them over when the new chapter will be up. have some decency or else ill be inside your walls.

Heart by fawn_writes || rated T || 1/1 || 663 words - man its so good. short and sweet. jake comes by to witness the construction of hals new body while also reminiscing about the times he fought brobot and his untimely demise. a good sparkling of body worship. "Everything will be normal. They’ll manage to keep it normal. After all, Jake has enough of his own heart to share." - fuck, that lines so effervescent.

What he needs by fawn_writes || rated M || 1/1 || 1259 words - another banger from the same author. they be doing the horizontal tango, but nothings too graphic. healthy serving of body worship from jakes perspective, as well as his internal struggle with his apparent robotic attraction.

Dead Weight by squirtgunplay || rated M || 5/9 || 27337 words - oh that fic. oh my god. love me some zombie apocalypse au with existential horror sprinkled on top. hal and dirk are twins but with a twist in this one. theres mystery. theres injuries that make you incapable of moving around. theres ship of theseus discussion. its nourishing. its beautiful. jake and hals banter in this one is fucking amazing, and the author captures their characters so well. the relationship between hal and dirk is also very fucking good and heartwrenching and just ugh. stellar writing, the forth wall break made me laugh out loud, hal gets called a security camera (derogatory). theres graphic depictions of violence, so beware of the tags.

Tennessee Whiskey & You by MistLaFey || rated T || 5/? || 12217 words - major character death and graphic depictions of violence tagged, so beware and read the tags. no-sburb au. dirk fucking dies (its in the fic description so i dont feel like its a spoiler). beautiful exploration of grief, unhealthy coping mechanisms and trying to get back into the normal life when theres a big part of it suddenly missing. hal and dirk are twins. jake is not doing well. hal is also not doing well, but pretending he is. its heartbreaking and some scenes made my chest hurt. very good fic and i dont understand why it doesnt get more love. it deserves it. go read it, even just for the funeral scene, i got teary-eyed over it.

seconds by squirtgunplay || rated E || 2/2 || 18698 words - graphic depictions of violence and its no joke, presidential alert the girls are fightinnn!! but its also so funny and the authors so funny and its also really hot! no sburb au, hals a human and dirks twin. he gets kidnapped by a craigslist hitman jake who mistakes him for dirk. the banter is top game in this one. hal cant keep his mouth shut even in life or death situation. jakes a dork, but hes a deadly dork, and also cant keep his mouth shut about his personal problems. theres fistfighting and knifethrowing and hal gets a weapon put to his head at least twice and he thinks its pretty damn hot. theres banging in second chapter. what more can i say to sell you on this one. the characters are on point, the action is tense but its also written in a cheeky, fun way, smut is good, a npc gets unsubscribed from life. amazing fic, 10/10, will read it again.

I Think Therefore I AR by Taxi_Boy || rated T || 25/? || 30417 words - im saving the best for last. major character death. hal has to start the game and get his friends into the medium while dirk is missing, while also pretending to be dirk as to not raise their suspicions. im not going to say anymore about the plot, you just have to go and read the fic. genuinely my favourite jakehal - and homestuck in general - fic of all time. i love caliborn in this one. i cant wait to see what the author has cooked up for us in the future. its plainly genious.

these are only ao3 fics as i have no clue how tf you search other fanfic sites for a specific ship, but if you have any other recommendations feel free to add them onto this post! we all need some good jakehal fic recs in these trying times!

[jenniquinn]

Joseph Quinn X FemReader

"Fuck man, she is clingy. She hangs on me even when I don't want her too" you hear your boyfriend Joe say to a friend. Tears hit your face. You were at a premiere for an upcoming movie of his. You don't keep listening, running away. You don't hear that he was talking about a castmate and not you. But you thought you heard enough.

You get home and 30 minutes later he comes through the door. "darling you left me is everything ok" you just ignore him under the blanket pretending to sleep. He sighs and dresses for bed slipping in beside you. He moves closer and you Scoot forward. He frowns "is she mad" he thinks and moves to place a hand on your hip but you move again. You planned to not letting him touch you or you touch him. Hurt and rolls over to his other side and falls asleep wondering what's going on.

Two weeks pass and you let him kiss your lips but move when his hands try to touch you. You barely let him touch you. It's been two weeks since you've let him have sex with him. He decided enough was enough. You protest as he pulls you to sit on the couch and he sits in front of you on the coffee table.

"What's going on love? Why won't you let me touch you" he asks reaching his hand out and you flinch. "See that! Why do you suddenly not like when I touch you" you stay silent. He sniffs and you look up to see tears hitting his cheeks.

"So what? Do you not love me anymore" he starts and you start to talk but he keeps going "I know my life is so hectic but baby please this is breaking my heart" he pleads and you sigh. "I know I've been to much for you" he looks confused but you continue. "I know I touch you and want to kiss you all the time but I don't want you to think I'm clingy anymore". Tears fall down your face now.

"Oh sweets where did you get the idea that I would ever think you were to clingy" he asks and you sigh. "At the premiere, I heard you talking to someone and you said I was clingy" you blurt out and he sighs "oh darling that's why you left" you nod and he grabs your face wiping your tears. "Darling I was talking about someone I worked with on set. She was all touchy feely even after I told her I had a girlfriend who I love so much" your eyes widen then you look towards your lap.

"I feel so stupid" you say and lifts your face "oh baby your not stupid. I mean how could ever doubt my feelings for you. Besides I cant go more than a few minutes without your touch. I'm clingy not you. Yet you deal with me" he says and you pull him close kissing him. "I'm sorry" you whisper. He grabs your hand and makes you stand. He strokes your face "fuck sweets I missed your touch, your kisses. I thought I was gonna go mental with them" you smile.

"Well then Mr Quinn you might want to take us to the bedroom" he grins. He pulls to to the room. He sets you on the bed and you both strip. Once naked you pull him close as you lay back. He hovers over you, kissing every part of your face when he moves to the sweet spot on your neck. "Mark me up" you say and he looks at you and he nods "only if you mark me" he says and you move your mouth to his neck, biting and and nibbling.

You thought he would find it weird. How much you loved to wake up the neck day covered in bruises or hickeys but fuck if he doesn't love that about you. He moves down your chest leaving more hickeys as he makes his way down. Finally he gets to your pussy. He moves a hand to rub your clit.

Your hips instantly when his mouth starts sucking and licking your cunt. "Fuck Joe I've missed your mouth on me" you gasp out. He moans sending shivers down your legs as they shake. Suddenly two of his fingers enter to you and suddenly you begin to bliss out as you cum. He mouth moves from you and you sit up.

You grab his cock and give a few pumps before you take him down your throat. He pushes your head down, you gag at first but once you get used to it it's fine. He suddenly moves your mouth off his dick. He lays you down. He lifts your legs and places one on each of his shoulders as he sticks his cock in you. You moan, eyes rolling back. He starts slow then grabs your hips and begins fucking you harder. You feel a hand move to your tits and you take his hand and move it to your throat and he gives a light squeeze.

"Fuck I'm so close" you scream, legs shaking. You feel him twitch inside you. "Oh baby me" suddenly you cum faster and stronger than you have in a awhile. You both gasp as you come down from your orgasms. He pulls out and bends down to grab a shirt from the floor to clean yourselves off.

He helps you move back on the bed, he lays beside you and snuggle in his chest. "That was amazing" he says and you smile. You look at him and peck his lips. "Please for the sake of both of us, if you ever feel slighted in any way please come talk to me. I thought you finally decided that you didn't love me anymore" he says and you frown. "I know you love me. I should of just talked to you instead of ignoring you" you say and he kisses your forehead. "I love Y/N, so much" you smile "oh sweets I love ya too" you say laying your head on his chest listening to his heartbeat.

You fall asleep to the sound, something that always calmed you. And then things went back to normal like nothing ever happened. After all that happened it was like you two loved each more than you did before, something you didn't think possible.

[bucketspammer4life]

☆ WVBA At A Party ☆

So uhh tw for alcohol mention,emetophobia other than that its ok

Glass Joe

- doing his best not to get thrown into a dance circle

- anxious as fuck

- piston hondo (drunk as shit) keep trying to explain star wars lore to him

- hes just nodding and pretending to understand, he cant because hes speaking in japanese

- had some drinks & passed out because he doesnt take alcohol well

- woke up on the roof because some drunk bastard decided to put him onto there, theres now a investigation about trying to find who put Joe on the roof

- will hold your drink for you

- keeps getting dragged into doing dumb shit by aran ryan

Von Kaiser

- buzzed, looks like hes on the verge of death

- at the karaoke bar, killing it, yess grandpa slayyyy one foot in the grave one foot in the rave

- keeps chugging like hell, look at him go

- teaching some random people how to do traditional german dances

- randomly starts sobbing

- bear hugger has to stop him from chugging another bottle of whiskey

Disco Kid

- thrown into the dance circle, killing it

- spamming everyones phones with really positive texts

- "YUO AR TAKENTED SNF CAN DK SNYTHING YKU PUT YOU4 NINF UBTO" (You are really talented and can do anything you put your mind into)

-"thank you : )"

- "YOU SRE LIVEF ANR 4SKEBT2D,,,,ÖOCE YOURDRKF" (You are loved, love yourself)

- wasted

- giving out free hugs

- had a really good dance off with aran ryan

- fell down a flight of stairs and got up like it was nothing

- dancing the pain away

Piston Hondo

- avoiding the dance circle like its a death sentence

- explaining the star wars lore to glass joe in japanese

- will hate himself in the morning

- speaking really broken japanglish with bear hugger

- keeps lifting up von kaiser & running away as he holds him

- partying hard

- randomly starts speaking about stuff, you could be talking about how you ran over a man and his son just yesterday and he'll be like "Do you like sailor moon"

- tried to eat a glass of water, sad because he got stopped

- randomly got stuck in a british accent

King Hippo

- passed out on the floor

- someone help him please

- people keep trying to use him as a trampoline

- randomly gets up and starts to talk about sea slugs

- he just leaves after that,he is done

Great Tiger

- only sober person here

- has to stop piston hondo from explaining the star wars lore to random people

- making sure everyone is hydrated

- victim of disco kids positive texts

- gathers drunk passed out people and puts them somewhere safe so nobody gets hurt

- oh my god he is on the verge of tears from all this stress he needs help

- ended up sobbing into disco kids arms after it all got too stressful

- he could really use a break

- will hold your drink,may switch it out with water if he decides youve had enough for tonight

Don Flamenco

- too distracted too go to the dance circle

- keeps singing & referencing dumb stuff while anyone talks to him, he just has 0 thoughts right now

- "i feel like im never gonna amount to anything in my life, it just feels like im destined to end up dying alone-"

- "FIESTA SALSA QUİNCEAÑERA-"

- "why do i even bother"

- drinking cocktails like someones gonna take it away from him if he doesnt inhale it within 10 seconds

- keeps trying to call carmen

- stumbling like hell

- someone needs to tape his mouth shut

- asking the dumbest shit ever to carmen as he texts her

- "would you still love me if i was a muppet,,"

- "would you still be able to control yourself or would you need to be used like a actual muppet??"

- "i dont knwo im durnk"

Bear Hugger

- will not go into the dance circle, ever

- singing sea shanties & suddenly has the personality of a ye olden sailor

- someone convinced him to wax his legs

- confused as shit when he wakes up in the morning

- listening to hondo infodump about sailor moon, intrigued

- will laugh at anything, laughed at Macho mans left eyebrow for a solid 40 minutes

- passed out for a hour after that

- brought a random frog from the nearest pond & named it Buddy, buddy was never seen again after someone threw him out of a window

- ate candle wax, he just did, he somehow stomached it

- sober yet wasted, tapdancing on that line between mentally not present & aware

Aran Ryan

- drunk but has a camera, recording whatever happens

- "guys... this little pocket sized eejit is stuck on the roof... what the fuck.. get him off of there"

- will do anything you dare him to do, got dared to throw someones TV out of the window, the rest is history

- eated a bees

- chased piston hondo with a chair, you havent known true fear until a irishman with a camera & chair is chasing you while yelling like a psychopath while youre talking about star wars lore

- called glass joe "Glasses Jonathan"

- mourned the loss of buddy with bear hugger

- on his hater routine, texting back discos positive messages with mean messages

Soda Popinski

- sober, enjoying the show

- in the dance circle, busting it down

- dehydrated because theres no soda :(

- trying to convince aran ryan to eat a pair of headphones

- gives out water to anyone who appears drunk & asks for a drink telling them its "strong stuff" Just to see them smile & hydrate themselves

- enjoying the karaoke

- also mourning the loss of buddy, thought he was really cool

Bald Bull

- scared of the dance circle

- drunk but his social anxiety is still acting up

- mom i threw up pose when he zones out & stares into the void

- standing in the corner or clinging onto don flamenco because he cant manage crowds well

- getting second hand embarrasment from don flamencos singing

- people keep using the top of his head as a mirror

- clinging onto the nearest extroverts he knows well

- "what if everyone thinks i look like a complete idiot standing in the corner"

- Just really anxious & stressed, he doesnt manage social events well

- needs some silence

Super Macho Man

- thinks hes a good dancer, looks like hes having a stroke, dancing is not for him, especially drunk dancing

- people keep calling him grandpa

- sobbing over any minor event that effects him even slightly negatively

- sobbed over the loss of buddy

- crying over everything

- sobbing on the bathroom floor because he threw up so hard he felt like his soul left him

- hes literally just crying

- tried to do karaoke through his tears, couldnt sing the tears away

Mr Sandman

- pushed into the dance circle, accidentally made a conga line, who knew a conga line full of drunk men could be so fun?

- watching aran ryan eat weird shit & cheering him on because he thinks its funny

- bald bull tried to make a "man me a sand" joke to him, ended up looking like he was having a seizure

- "Mr sandman.. Sand.. The man?.. Sand man.. Uhhh, man him a sand-"

- "bull please lay down"

- enjoying bear huggers sea shanties

- trying to get glass joe off the roof

- fell asleep using a freezer as a pillow

Extra

- narcis showed up to tell everyone that theyre losers & left

- doc louis left early with mac as soon as the alcohol drinking started

[nadvs]

i cant wait 4 tonights update eeekkkk!!! but also ive been thinking about zach and the imperfect strangers au, imagine like she goes to visit his college and they're like going out and stuff (and this is after having not seen each other for a while so everything is a little tense) but while they're out and there are some girls who very obviously are into him and he's so nice it's to a fault, so he doesn't understand the intentions but at the same time to u it feels so obvious, and just with everything else you find it so ridiculous he's so emotionally edept and yet he can't understand that it's so much more than just him being nice. and maybe long story short she breaks up with him, and he's just so exhausted of the back and forth and feeling like she just doesn't want to be with him that this time he just shuts down aka they end on bad terms this time like numbers blocked, yelling, etc., and he turns into someone completely different and everyone one notices. And then maybe a little while later they see each other and reader is more mature now but he's still hesitant to talk to her, and maybe he just laughs self-incredulously and just doesn't believe that she even cares bc she lowkey gave him trust issues... ( lol im writing this and realising how bad im deflecting but ya idk maybe just some inspo bc i feel like a guy like zach can only take so much heartbreak b4 it changes him and it's not fair bc although like girls can do no wrong you have to realise why ur pushing him away)

thank you, babe!! oh this is SUCHHH a good direction to take the imperfect strangers au!! i abso can see zach being so friendly that he’s unknowingly entertaining girls and in turn, making his girlfriend jealous and insecure. and since they already have a rocky foundation, it takes one thing to put them in a bad space again. no matter how nice a person is, they eventually crack and zach could not have it in him anymore to try. i can picture their dynamic being her thinking he doesn’t love her enough, and him thinking he simply isn’t enough. the angst of them sabotaging their own relationship!! i live for it!!

girl. same. dating in college is a trainwreck. i need to take a lot of breaks and on many occasions, don’t want a man to even look at me 😭 being in a new place that challenges and changes you is hard enough, so dating in that environment is either v fun or sucks your soul out lmao. it’s bleak sometimes how guiltlessly people can lie and pretend they want sumn, just to drop you or ghost you. i rly wish men would be honest bc if a guy told me straight-up he just wants to hook up, COOL. but none of this ‘idk what i want’ or ‘we’ll see what happens’ like 🥲 i’m bout to lose my damn mind!!

you’re not alone at all. my heart’s been broken a lot, sometimes for a day, sometimes for months (my first love still haunts me… i hate/love that man…) and it’s led me to find a lot of solace in writing. on the plus side, we have art to pour ourselves into 🙂‍↕️💘

[red-elric]

okay so like. theres a part of me that wants to say smth like 'after all his promises and morals, vash just kills knives? whats the point then!' but. ive been left FLOORED and still think its really good so lets think about this some more. like its not unsatisfying at all; let me figure out why. this might get a little stream of consciousness

i think the penultimate episode where vash struggles to come to terms with having killed legato is crucial here. he comes into the episode shaken; no one has the right to take the life of another, regardless of what they do, he's stopped living up to rem's ideals, he's killed a man and even though legato was a killer, even though milly and meryl and the townspeople would have died if vash hadnt killed him, theres smth in vash thats screaming out that its NOT RIGHT. that its a mistake. but then vash ackowledges that, and its through making the mistake that he finds his peace with what he's done; everyone makes mistakes, and as long as you keep trying to do better next time, youre still okay. and like.... that on its OWN still doesnt sit right w vash killing knives, but hold on! theres another layer

because whats REALLY important here i think is that vash is acknowledging that hes ALLOWED to make a mistake. and i think something much much deeper clicks here; this is the point where vash shifts from 'plant/superior being who preaches kindness, can always find another way out, and refuses to break his morals' to 'human who can and does make mistakes, and isnt any better than anyone else.' for as much as vash loves humanity and has tried to live among them, theres been heavy themes that hes NOT one of them throughout the show, even before its more explicitly revealed. humanoid typhoon. angel. plant. act of god. knives is so clearly out of touch with humanity, and embraces it, but vash is just as bad; hes just trying to pretend hes human. half his smiles are fake. his haircut is one rem gave him. one of his arms is a prosthetic and the other turns into a plant gun that destroys cities overnight and puts a hole in the moon. he doesnt BELONG.... until he does!

going back a step further here. wolfwood is absolutely crucial. he's an ideal example of the worst kind of human (and theres some deep heavy symbolism of him being a priest, the ambassador to a higher existence that speaks with the angels on behalf of humanity), he has killed time and again, he shoots a child to protect his own. vash cant understand him, until after he's already dead and vash has to shoot legato. wolfwood was a crutch for him, making the hard choices so that vash didnt have to, but he also becomes the model that vash follows, because even after everything else, vash FORGIVES him. vash recognizes that wolfwood was following his own morals, protecting his own people, and was able to grow and change and love in ways that prove that he was still, to the end, a good person. and if vash can offer that forgiveness and salvation to wolfwood without question, then it follows that he can offer it to himself, as soon as he stops acting like he should somehow be better than the rest of humanity

and all that on its own, with just the death of legato, is a very very good arc. so why does vash still need to kill knives afterwards? well..... because trigun is also a story about abuse. its about brothers who love each other so so much, but one of them uses that love to convince the other that the two of them are special, that the whole world besides them should die, that if vash would just sit tight and LISTEN to him then everything would be okay. a brother who cries like a child when vash dares to rebel against him, who insists vash is a fool playing games for leaving him and trying to save everyone else. vash spends the series following rem's final command: take care of knives. he cant kill knives, cant even hurt him, cant do anything to stop him when knives has been wiping towns off the map, because deep down knives MUST be good, there MUST be something worth saving, and vash is the Only One Who Can Stop Him. who can protect him. who can take care of him. and thats.... vash's way of seeing himself as the special little boy, the protagonist of the story, the Superior Being he keeps pretending he isnt. so OF COURSE when vash acknowledges his humanity and the fact that he just... cant do everything, hes able to see that actually, he cant fix knives. maybe no one can. and even if someone could, it would be a long time of people hurting before it happened. and vash can do something now to save those people and free himself from the cycle of abuse, so he does

and man. fuck. the shows been telling us from the beginning that vash is just some guy. we spend four or five episodes with no confirmation that he actually IS vash the stampede. he acts like a side character in his own story. its only when meryl starts to believe he's someone special that the audience starts to see it, and fittingly, its meryl speaking in his defense with the words 'no one has the right to kill anyone else,' as if shed say the same thing about anyone else, as if its not just that its VASH that drives her to defend him; thats when vash's humanity becomes real

anyway good show

[theoldlesbianwithcats]

@ the other anon: most lesbians i have met have mostly guy friends. maybe because i know mostly tomboy/masc lesbians but even the feminine sporty ones tend to have guy friends. most normal people have mixed friend groups where i’m from gay or straight. i had far more straight women express homophobic sentiment or disgust at me than guys and i also just meet more men through my workplace and hobbies. that’s completely normal.

also most of us have dads, brothers, uncles etc we hang with and have good relationships with. polilezzes on here are just mental

having favorite characters from media that are male is also normal if you’re normal about it. no one’s going to convince me that woman on here who salivates about how hot and attractive certain male band members are is a lesbian lol. but if your favorite character as a kid was bugs bunny or you watch a tv show and like the male main character best that’s just normal? liking a characters personality etc isn’t the same as finding them attractive.

the reason why people freak out about that on this website is because 99% of fandom bloggers here are straight women constantly pretending male characters want to fuck each other and geriatric men are ‘hot’ to them

i don’t find men pretty or attractive. i cant relate to that sentiment. they all just look basically neutral to me?

See anon, you're not alone! 😁

I had periods of my life where I mostly hung out with women, but I lost touch with all of my het and bi female friends from school. Now they're all in long-term relationships with men, have children, etc. so I don't feel like I would have a nice time if we reconnected. I tried reconnecting with my best friend from primary school years ago and she treated me in a surprisingly condescending way, unfortunately.

At work, a lot of het and bi women see male attraction as the ultimate relatable small talk and use that topic all the time. At my last job, I got along well with my female coworkers but got asked on my very first lunch break if I had a boyfriend. Otherwise, they talk about Tinder dates, boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, male celebs they find hot, etc. So by default I ended up having lunch with the male coworkers because I couldn't connect with the women and they didn't try to get to know me better...

About appearance, I think it's just that we can compare them, like we see the difference if a man is sloppy or well-dressed, if he has good posture or not, if he gives off creepy vibes... but that doesn't have any more impact than that. At most, a muscular guy can inspire me to work out more so I can have big arms too 😆

[slutsareteacherstoo]

Our poor baby 🥺 whew this one made me emotional 😭 like i really gotta sit with my feelings cuz you reminded me. Thank you for sharing with us 🙏🏿🙂‍↕️

“Unable to cry, scream, or otherwise, Asia took the next best outlet: fucking. She knew it was wrong to hide her pain behind the ruse of wanting intimacy from a man more than willing to give it to her.” - oh sweetie 😢

Asia can talk her shit tho 😅 *loosens tie and adjusts collar*

And the tears came through fr 😩

SHIT ASIA SAID YOU NOT LEAVING UNTIL I GET SOMETHING 😤😤

Whew 😰 she been doing her best to see it through and she did. And she’s come to her conclusion but this “Ripping band-aids off physical wounds always hurt, and the pain never went away as fast as people try to pretend. Emotional wounds couldn't be much different.” —shows another aspect of her intentionality — “Kelvin wasn't a wound, and her revelation wasn't a band-aid. It was a life-altering change that required a delicate approach Asia hadn't quite pieced together. Not here. Not now.” Like i love this about her character sooo much

Kelvin experiencing so much joy while Asia is experiencing all this angst, im a sucker for this content 😈 sorry Asia girl.

And those references to the night prior they eating at me like theyre probably eating at Asia. Cuz that was her transmuting her feelings

Oof putting it off again. 😬🫥 but like he looks so happy so i get it

—

Savannah is a real one talking this out with Asia cuz she be in head and also has been processing this by herself

Oof yes talking this out is showing her all these other aspects

Like wowwww you hit the nail on the head: “Losing herself. While Kelvin made strides to grow and improve, Asia allowed the first taste of genuine partnership to turn her into a woman more concerned with pleasing her partner than advocating for her own needs. She'd bent and contorted herself to fit Kelvin's vision on more than one occasion, and though he never asked her to, he never told her to stop. She never felt compelled to stop. That scared her the most. If she couldn't stop there, how far would she allow herself to go in pursuit of someone else's happiness?”

See also: “ But I can't keep loving him without loving myself. It's not fair to him or me."

⁃ *queues up Melanie Fiona’s I Been That Girl cuz whew!!!!!*

But Savannah’s support of Asia in this moment is so 🥹 like she’s being the wind beneath her wings, reminding her to trust herself like she always has

—

Ooh he’s sooo hopeful but fuck breaking up on V-Day 😖😣

Oh so he knew 😩even with all that hope he knew the inevitable 😖so Asia was the only one surprised in the moment…wow

You got me crying in the club rn omg 🥺😩like Kelvin was so gentle and level (granted he knew) but at least it didnt go so sour.

But wow wow wow this was so well written and heart wrenching. Half of why im emotional is cuz you’re preaching to choir in a way you dont even know and im glad its taken me a while to catch up. The timing was aligned for me to read when I did cuz im at reconciliation stages and this made them come to the forefront.

Like, having been both Asia and Kelvin in different instances this is really hitting home. Like yes please live your life, maintain your dreams, keep to your goals and commitments even if its not me. Like woooww. You be making me think fr with your work and when I go see the lady tomorrow imma be more prepared to work through these thoughts and feelings. Hell, im honest enough with myself now that I feel confident in doing the heavy lifting to ensure i still got me at the end of the day. 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Wow thank you thank you 🙏🏿 i cant say it enough like you got your finger on the pulse frfr

Fall Break

Summary: When Asia's in need of a few lessons regarding matters of the bedroom, her colleague and friend, Kelvin, offers his expertise.

Pairing: Kelvin Harrison Jr. x Black!OC

Warnings: Mature Content (18+)

Word Count: 4.9k

MASTERLIST

Chicago wasn't half bad. Asia had to concede that fact as Kelvin filmed the journey into the city from the airport on his cellphone. 

Despite the disorienting mind-fuck that was O'Hare, the mishmash of old comforts and new charm glistening under a fresh downpour drew her in more than she cared to admit. She saw the appeal. It didn't make losing her man to the Midwest feel any better than the days before, though. They could visit anytime. She didn't want him to stay. 

She put on a brave face and an appeasing smile during dinner at a so-so downtown Chinese and Thai spot, listening to Kelvin rant and rave about his new team while pieces of her heart withered and died inside.

Asia held on to him a little tighter as they walked through the streets like tourists in search of cheap drinks to celebrate nothing in particular. One shot turned into three and a cocktail. Then, two more shots a piece and a secret third shot Asia snuck with Kelvin dipped off to relieve himself in the restroom. Just something to take the edge off. She promised herself she wouldn't get too drunk and start crying. But, as reality set in and Chicago became less of a fun pre-Valentine's vacation and more of a concrete reality, she couldn't help the tears welling up in her eyes once they'd called it a night and snuggled into bed together. 

Unable to cry, scream, or otherwise, Asia took the next best outlet: fucking. She knew it was wrong to hide her pain behind the ruse of wanting intimacy from a man more than willing to give it to her. She wanted to change her mind and almost had an out when she called Kelvin's name and startled him awake. He took Asia's apology in stride and pressed for answers until he was buried deep in her heat from behind, spooning like both their lives depended on it. 

Good, but not enough. Not until Asia was numb and so drunk on physical intimacy that she couldn't think straight. Perched on his face, she bucked her hips erratically to get the last drops of frustration out of her body by way of Kelvin's tongue. 

He held on tight with long fingers gripping soft flesh on both ass cheeks for dear life while he watched Asia fondle her own nipples, searching for her third orgasm. A woman possessed. He loved it. He'd drink her in until the sun came up just to see the face she made when the pressure in her belly was too much to contain.

Groaning, Asia slumped forward to look down at Kelvin, lapping at her with a face covered in his reward. "I love it when you eat me like that, baby," she demanded, her voice raspy and thick with sleep. "Look at you. So fuckin' nasty for me. You gone make me cum?" 

"Mhmm." More a moan than a response. And, even as he grew more excited from the mere sniff of the gold mine between her legs, Kelvin wasn't sure if he could go too much longer without a break. 

Reaching between her legs, he slid two fingers into her pussy, never slacking on his tongue's rhythm. A desperate mewl from deep within Asia's throat cut through the pitch-black room. Her thoughts became static as she felt the familiar tightening of release wind in her abdomen. 

"Oh…fuck," Asia squealed when euphoria quivered her inner thighs. "Don't stop, baby! Don't stop!" 

A plea for the moment and the future wrapped in one. Tears begging to see the world all say fell freely from Asia's eyes in pain and pleasure. Kelvin watched her in elation, feeling pride from a job well done swell in his chest. 

She came hard, the force from a hard-earned eruption still directing her hips to turn Kelvin's face into a saddle until all thoughts of tomorrow floated into the void to bother Asia another day. Kelvin was there to greet her when strength returned to her body and sent her rolling off his face onto the mattress. Her chest heaved to bring in as much oxygen as possible while he peppered affection across her shoulder and onto her jaw.

"I've never seen you like this before," Kelvin mumbled between kisses to the corner of Asia's mouth. "Maybe we should do that more often?"

She smiled, turning on her side to face him. "I'm down for right now if you wanna go again." 

Again? Kelvin tried to maintain his smile, hoping she'd crack the impenetrable neutrality preventing him from getting a read on her true emotions. Was she joking? She had to be joking. But jokes came with laughs and a punchline. So far, neither were in the room. 

"Oh, you're serious," Kelvin noted, a mix of confusion and amazement in his voice. He shifted to flip the switch on Asia's headboard lamp for a better look at her face in the wee hours of the morning. "I mean, if you give me a minute, I can maybe get things going again. You know I –" 

"Kel, it's fine. Don't stress yourself if you need to rest. I'll live!" 

Goading was manipulation, no matter how well she faked a cheery inflection to hide her true intentions. And though she wasn't proud of using nefarious methods to get what she wanted, Asia wouldn't allow her entire weekend to be taken by devastating blow after devastating blow to her emotions without getting something in return. 

Kelvin's attempt to kiss Asia's lips was thwarted as she rolled off the bed on the way to the bathroom, leaving him just enough cheek to grease the gears in his mind. "Woah, woah. I need five minutes and I'm back in. Can I have five minutes?" 

"Only five. You sure? I'm serious. We can wait until the morning." 

"Nah," Kelvin rushed out. Asia watched as he dipped his fingers beneath the plush duvet to take things into his own hands. "I got it. Five minutes." 

She'd give him eight. Two to find a distant memory to get the blood flowing, three to get his lone soldier to stand at attention, and three more for her to stop bullshitting and come clean. 

The dark, ugly cloud of hidden feelings was starting to drench Asia's mental in inescapable, blurring rain, preventing her from thinking straight as the deadline loomed closer. With Kelvin, she sported a sweet smile and acquiesced to every endless scroll through Crate & Barrel or CB2 run, hoping that picking vases and matching color schemes would help her overcome the truth. 

Long distance wasn't an option. Asia had tried to outrun and tiptoe across the fact like it was fresh lava on the ground, only to fall face first before in-flight snacks rolled down the aisle. Coming to terms with reality meant telling Kelvin. Telling Kelvin meant interrupting his third Bad Boys rewatch and the medium-difficulty sudoku puzzle keeping most of his attention. It meant possibly starting an argument with hundreds of strangers in earshot. It meant possibly ending her first relationship thousands of feet in the air with no way home until Monday morning. Worst of all, it meant disappointing Kelvin.

Waiting wouldn't change anything. The longer she kicked the can down the road, the more exhausted she'd wind up once the jig was up. Do it. Rip the band-aid. Asia tried to imagine Sabrina egging her on, pushing her to dive head first into radical honesty but came up short under dim lights showcasing incoming tears shining in her eyes. A harsh wipe with the back of her hand smeared them out of existence before she took a deep breath to steady her nerves. Ripping band-aids off physical wounds always hurt, and the pain never went away as fast as people try to pretend. Emotional wounds couldn't be much different. 

"Hey, Kel. Can we talk?" Asia's voice ricocheted in the silence as she exited the bathroom. No response prompted her to call for her lover again. "Babe?"

Eight minutes was too long for tired limbs and eyes to settle atop soft sheets, especially for a man known to value the sanctity of napping. Asia watched Kelvin's chest rise and fall, his mouth hanging open with his hand still beneath the covers. A small smile tugged at her lips as she climbed into bed beside him. Kelvin wasn't a wound, and her revelation wasn't a band-aid. It was a life-altering change that required a delicate approach Asia hadn't quite pieced together. Not here. Not now. 

Two soft kisses on his cheek stirred Kelvin awake long enough for him to hug Asia's waist tighter and yawn. "I wasn't asleep. Just resting my eyes. You ready for me?" 

"It's okay, babe. Go to bed. See you in the morning," Asia answered. She snuggled closer to his body to savor what could be the last bits of his warmth she'd ever feel. Kelvin half-kissed her forehead, bringing back tears she thought she'd neutralized.

"Mhmm. Morning."

Deep breaths in and out helped Asia match her heartbeat to Kelvin's until sleep welcomed her into a temporary retreat from inner turmoil. She promised herself another round of next times. Next times that came and went without so much as a peep until they slowly took a backseat to the utter chaos of apartment hunting the following morning. 

Kelvin's carefully curated list of five perfect apartments had slowly dwindled to two and a shaky possible by noon. Too expensive, too small, too outdated, too stuffy, not enough natural light – the list of big and small flaws ran the gamut of available gripes. Asia resisted taking the opportunity to plant seeds of doubt in Kelvin's mind to play the role of dutiful girlfriend, smothering little frustration fires and offering support in the face of adversity. It was her idea to continue the search past lunch when all Kelvin wanted to do was stalk back to the hotel and bury his head beneath a pillow. 

She tugged him down a sidewalk drenched in fresh rain toward their fifth and final option. "Come onnnn. We're already here! This could be the one!" A fifth dud couldn't hurt that bad. Or maybe it'd hurt just enough to help him change course. 

All hope of helping Kelvin see the light atomized into a figment of Asia's twisted imagination when a few taps at an empty two-bedroom unit's digital keypad granted them access to the most beautiful piece of real estate either of them had ever seen. 

A wall of windows overlooked a bustling cityscape complete with enough commuters and tourists hustling past each other on the sidewalk to people-watch for hours. Expansive, pristine granite countertops complimented warm-toned wooden cabinets, housing more space than both their kitchens combined. Light wood floors added an upscale feel as Kelvin and Asia walked hand in hand through the hallways and gawked at each room. Two bathrooms, a walk-in closet in the guest bedroom, a huge faux-marble standing shower, a soaking tub, enough space for a king bed and nightstands – a slice of heaven well within a reasonable price. 

Asia wanted to hate it. She wanted to point out imperceptible flaws in the drywall and the specks of dust on the baseboards. One of the handles on the doorknob stuck a bit when she pressed down on it. Surely, that was enough to change his mind. Unfortunately, the hassle of finding a problem couldn't outshine the pocket of joy she found in watching Kelvin record videos to send to his sister for her approval. He saw a future in empty bedrooms and blank white walls waiting for his creative touch when she couldn't stomach walking into such a prison ever again.

"You were right." Kelvin did a full 360 in the primary bedroom, mentally planning where some of his prints could create a gallery wall. "This is the one. I think I found our spot, babe." 

Asia fought to maintain the smile she'd plastered on her face despite happiness being miles away. "I…I think you did, too. This is beautiful. I love it for you." She'd inadvertently found Kelvin a hidden gem. Another perfectly fated wrench was thrown into her plan. "You need me to get the leasing agent?" 

"Not right now. Come see the vision for a second." Kelvin's outstretched hand beckoned for Asia to join his side in the center of the room. She answered the call with slow steps before allowing him to pull her body into a soft hug. He pressed silly kisses onto her cheek, making a show of his affection until he'd had his feel. "I'm gonna put the bed right here," he informed, gesturing to a spot against the back wall. "Those two nightstands I've been lookin' at will fit perfectly. Eventually, I'm gonna throw the wallpaper you showed me up behind the bedframe, and that dope ass rug can warm up the room a little too, right?" 

Asia placated him with a nod. "Yeah, probably. Either here or in the office." 

"Oh, shit, the office. I can say that now. I have an office. We have an office," he laughed, giddy from the realization he could finally separate work, lounge, and sleep into three separate spaces. "Shit is crazy. You know, you basically have two places now. How does it feel to be rich?"

"It's feels good." It felt…something. Terrible? Painful like a thousand bikini waxes back to back? But, good? That wasn't it. "I'm proud of you, Kel. Really." 

Kelvin beamed from Asia's approval before puckering his lips for a kiss. "Thank you, baby. You want the left sink or the right sink?" 

"I actually want the entire guest bathroom. How much is that per month?" 

"I'm actually running a special," Kelvin answered as he pretended to tabulate numbers in his head. "If you come up here to do what we did last night every other month, I'll let it go for breakfast in bed." 

Asia considered his offer. "What if you made me dinner every other month and I just ate it with my top off?" 

"Sold." 

Laughter echoed throughout the empty space, drawing attention from the leasing agent trying not to eavesdrop in the living room. She tiptoed around the corner and stopped to smile at the young couple so wrapped up in each other that they didn't notice her presence. She cleared her throat, making them jump from the intrusion. 

She waved her hands in front of her body, eyes wide from embarrassment. "No, no! Don't stop on account of me. I was only checking in with you two. Like what you see?" 

"It's beautiful," Asia answered, still in awe of their luck. "Right, babe? This is the one?" 

"I think so. I'm only here for the weekend, so it'd be great to start the process today if we can." 

The possibility of a commission before the end of the day had the agent jittering in excitement. If they were quick, she'd have her weekend kicked off with a little sweetener on top. She rushed to whip out her iPad and dance her fingers across the screen. 

"Oh, of course," she answered, her eyes focused on the device in her hand. "Are we doing one or both of you on the lease?" 

"I'm sorry, I'm not –" 

Kelvin interjected on top of Asia. "Just me for now. Is there an opportunity to add a second person later, though? You know…in case something changes?" 

Asia waited for the punchline or Ashton Kutcher to roll out of the closet with a camera crew in tow to announce she'd been punked. Maybe then she could laugh all this off and understand why Kelvin had gone out of his way to plant the seed that there was a remote possibility she might abandon the life she'd created to follow him hundreds of miles to the Midwest. 

"We love a man who plans," the leasing agent complimented, impressed by Kelvin's desire to include his lady. He stood taller and pulled Asia closer despite her legs refusing to budge. "To answer your question, yes. But we can cross that bridge when we get there. In the meantime, take another look, get some more pictures, and then meet me in the lobby to talk about the paperwork. Sound good?" 

"Sounds good!" Kelvin couldn't contain the cheery inflection in his voice as he talked through additional instructions with the leasing agent at the front door or the slight hop in his step when he snuck up behind Asia to gaze out of the bedroom's windows over her shoulder. 

Pure, unadulterated happiness coursed through his veins with her body wrapped in his arms and tomorrow's possibilities flipping rapidly through his mind. Home. An abode meant for a singular inhabitant at present, but circumstances changed every day. There was a time when Asia was but a coworker and then a close friend. With sunshine peaking through thick grey clouds to bathe their tangled bodies in warm light, he had more than enough proof of how quickly dreams became reality. 

Asia sighed as Kelvin nudged her head to the side, searching for space to attach his lips to her neck. "This really is the perfect view." She tried to imagine how each of the unrecognizable buildings across the way would glitter and gleam at night. From the sky, they looked like Christmas lights in a town permanently frozen in the most wonderful time of the year. If she could push past the nagging discomfort in her heart and stick out the increasingly tough times, they could welcome her in with open arms every other month, slowly disarming her guard until she craved more. Another deep breath passed through her nose. "This is gonna work."

Kelvin examined Asia in silence for a moment, wondering if she meant for her statement to sound so unsure. She chewed her bottom lip while staring blankly at the landscape in front of them as if she were searching for the answer in the distance. She seemed to open her mouth to speak but closed it when no words came forth.

"Hey." His soft voice cut through Asia's contemplative silence, snapping her out of her daze. He pecked her cheek before speaking again. "We're gonna be fine. Trust me. Trust yourself." 

Turning in his arms, Asia let her gaze softly commit each of Kelvin's perfect imperfections to memory. He looked back at her with a disarming smile, hoping his reassurance would combat whatever uncertainty brewed inside her. 

Asia leaned closer, stopping just short to keep their lips tantalizingly close. Kelvin licked his pair, drawing her attention before she made her request. "Kiss me. Please." 

Next time, she'd talk things out – lay all her concerns on the table to get the necessary courage to keep moving along a path to true happiness. She'd voice her grievances, express her hesitation, and come out on the other side as a woman facing all her fears. 

After their kiss in golden hour light was washed away and their trip was history, she'd put on her big girl panties and do the thing. Next time.

A weekend in Chicago came and went with scary thoughts successfully turned into background fodder to focus on being somebody's Valentine for the first time. 

Standing in the dressing room's full-length mirror with an audience of one smacking on scavenged dill pickle chips, Asia examined the curvature of her behind in the fourth sultry red dress picked for an early afternoon try-on haul. The bow at the small of her back perfectly accentuated the toned muscles on display without fabric shielding them from the world. Her long legs benefited from a short hemline meant to turn heads as she strutted through the world on Kelvin's arm. 

Sabrina paused her chip chomping to compliment her friend. "You look good! I like it. And if I like it, your man is gonna love it." 

"Shit, he better. If I eat more than a piece of gum, I'll risk looking four months pregnant." Asia continued to stare at her reflection, trying to decide if being hot for a night was worth passing out from hunger at a concert. "Fuck it. Unzip me. I'm getting it. Food can wait. I'm only this young and hot once in my life." 

"I know that's right! Speaking of Lover Boy, how was Chicago? Y'all see something worth going half on?" 

Asia chewed her lip as Sabrina pulled the dress's zipper down the short track. "Uh…he found something he likes, yeah." 

"Did you like it? I mean, I know it's not your place, but you'll be there half the year, damn near. You should at least wanna be there!" 

"Well. That's the thing." Curious eyes awaited Asia when she turned around to face an expectant Sabrina. "I…may not be visiting…at all." 

Curiosity quickly morphed into all-out confusion. "Are you breaking up with him?" 

"No! No, I'm not breaking up with him. He might wanna break up with me when I tell him I can't do long distance, but that's a different story."

The final piece of Asia's confession came out as a mumble muffled behind the dress, shielding for the sure tongue lashing on the other side of her honesty, but nothing came. Silence hung between them for several seconds, letting the untz untz of department store electronic music pulse through their small dressing room. 

Finally, Sabrina cleared her throat. "Okay," she spoke more to herself than to Asia. "Alright. Let's talk this out. You can't do long distance. Why?" 

Asia thought about telling her best friend how much she craved nearby affection and thought being long-distance left too much room for mistakes. She could throw sugar over her true feelings and go on a diatribe to explain all the ways a relationship separated by almost 800 miles wasn't fair to her after years of being alone. She felt punished by some unseen force, beaten down for some sort of sick amusement. 

Instead, she shared the plain and simple heart of the matter as she slid her jeans over her legs. "I had rules and boundaries when we started our thing, and I let him break every one of them. I didn't want to kiss, but he did. So, we kissed. I said no staying the night, and a month later, I'm leaving toiletries at his place, Sabrina. We haven't used protection in over a week, and I'm just…letting it happen! What am I doing?" 

Losing herself. While Kelvin made strides to grow and improve, Asia allowed the first taste of genuine partnership to turn her into a woman more concerned with pleasing her partner than advocating for her own needs. She'd bent and contorted herself to fit Kelvin's vision on more than one occasion, and though he never asked her to, he never told her to stop. She never felt compelled to stop. That scared her the most. If she couldn't stop there, how far would she allow herself to go in pursuit of someone else's happiness? 

"I love Kelvin. I love him so much it makes me sick and gives me life all at the same time. I don't want to hurt him." Of everything she'd said, Asia fessing up to the l-word shook Sabrina. "But I can't keep loving him without loving myself. It's not fair to him or me."

She hugged Asia, not caring about her state of undress. "Oh, friend. Welcome to the sick, sad, beautiful world of being in love. Ain't it fun!" Her joke helped Asia release the breath she didn't know she was holding through a strained laugh. Sabrina rocked them from side to side as she spoke. "Trust your gut, girl. I've never known you to make a decision you didn't think through. Do what you have to do. If this is what you think it is, he'll understand." 

"You think so?" Asia sniffled into Sabrina's shoulder.

"He better!" Sabrina quipped. "And if he don't, so what? There are other men in the world and some of them are just as cute, just as successful, and just as willing to give you the world. You gon' be alright regardless, okay?"

I'll be okay regardless. Asia repeated the mantra to herself in an endless loop to calm her nerves from the couch because her next times had run out. By the end of the night, her chariot would turn into a pumpkin and end her perfect fairytale. Say goodbye to your glass slipper and fancy ball gown. Back to scrubbing the floors, you go.

Kelvin poured two glasses of champagne in the kitchen, whistling a made-up tune as he plopped fresh raspberries into crystal-clear flutes and covered them in fizzing liquid. He called for a cheers when she walked through the door dressed like a long-legged super moedel. A little pizzazz to kick off what he hoped would be their first holiday of many. 

Dress sock covered feet helped him glide across polished concrete, expertly balancing glassware en route to Asia across the room. "Alright! One for my beautiful baby," he announced before stealing a kiss. "And one for me." 

"What are we toasting to?" Asia asked, her glass raised and ready. 

Kelvin smiled and put his hand on her thigh. "To us, girl! Fuck everybody else," he exclaimed. "Cheers to us for taking a chance on each other. Hopefully, we'll take some more this year. I know the transition may start off rough, but I hope we'll work through it. I really care about you, Asia. I want to see how far we can take this." 

No response didn't stop Kelvin from clinking his glass against Asia's and taking a long sip of cold, pale liquid. She didn't join him. She couldn't join him. Taking a sip was too close to accepting her fate. Carefully, she put the glass on the coffee table then focused all her attention on her shoes. 

"Kelvin, I can't do the distance. I can't do Chicago." Barely above a whisper, the truth shocked only one of them as Asia looked him in the eyes and continued. "The more I sit and think about our relationship, the more I realize that who I am ran head first into living for you somewhere in the middle. Your needs have become my needs. I don't want to resent you down the line. Neither of us deserve that." 

Grief and sadness eluded Kelvin while he slid closer to Asia. He'd had his time to reckon with reality the night they returned to the hotel and caught her crying in the bathroom. Temporary arrangements had timelines, no matter how hard he tried to outrun them. 

Hearing her voice crack produced tears in the corners of his eyes as he laced his fingers in hers and kissed her knuckles. "I already knew. You're not that hard to read. But thank you for finally telling me." His index knuckle beneath her chin forced Asia to look up at him through cloudy vision. He kissed her forehead and nose before collecting stray tears on her cheeks. "I understand. It fucking sucks, but I understand. I never want to get in the way of your self-exploration, even if it doesn't include me. That's why we started all this, right?" 

"Yeah," she whispered. "Right." 

"Don't worry about me or hurting my feelings. We were friends before, and we can be friends again. That's okay," Kelvin assured. I still want to experience you while we have time, at least for tonight. This dinner reservation was hell to make, and I need you to validate that the tiramisu is fire. Like I can't be the only one of us to have it." 

Neither of them allowed misty eyes and hurt feelings to put a lid on their laughter. They were friends before, and though it'd take a moment to shake off a romance with so much potential, they could be friends again. 

Asia took a long, deep breath and nodded. "Okay. Tiramisu it is. Can I have a moment to touch up my makeup? I'm sure I look like Beetlejuice right now." 

"I wasn't gonna say anything. You look cute in a Pepe Le Pew sort of way," Kelvin joked, earning an eye roll and a grin for his antics. Anything to make her smile. "Go on. I'll be out here waiting." 

A parting kiss to her forehead gave Asia enough energy to click four-inch heels across the floor into the bathroom. Kelvin sat back against the couch to finally allow his heavy mind time to process all he'd heard. In four weeks, his greatest joy would see him off to Chicago without a date set for their reunion. He'd kiss her goodbye, hug her close, and see those beautiful eyes for the last time. The thought alone was enough to bring him to his knees.

Eventually, he'd come to terms with his loss. He had no choice. He'd pack up all his big feelings in the box with his prized possessions and board a flight to a land of new opportunity. 

But tomorrow's problems belonged to tomorrow. He had a month to face those. Watching Asia strut out of the bathroom in a red dress that hit her in all the right places was far more important. 

If this was all the time they had left, he had a few more lessons to teach.

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[perlapulido]

Star Lord and Red Bullet

Summary: Life can surprise you in so many ways even if your a half demon like Raquel whos been on her until she met Quill. They been by their side no matter what is thrown at them despite their differences but now they save the galaxy from being destroyed and they cant do that alone.

Ch4

"Ok stay low while i get our target. Which can take a while." said rocket. "You say that all the time Rocket." said Raquel. "Hey if you want the good stuff. You come up with something other than setting a scene. Groot stay away from the water fountain." said Rocket. "I'll get the units before you know it. Dont get your tail in a bush." said Raquel looking around then saw something. A man yelling at the seller or owner while a green woman stood aside pretending to act casual. "Rocket, I'll be right back." said Raquel walking toward the two. Before she could reach the man holding an orb in his hand. The green woman started fighting him trying to take it from him. "Whats your deal?" said the man seeing Raquel watching them. The man kicked the woman off of him before standing up to face Raquel looking really happy to see her. "Raquel?!" said The man as the woman swung her right leg across his face. "Nice kick. He deserved that one. So is this what you been doing Pete fight girls you havent slept yet?" said Raquel then went after the orb. "Not exactly where have you been?" said Peter. Raquel grabbed the orb with her tail and tossed it up as the woman threw punches at her. "Question. Why is the orb more important?" said Raquel catching her fists. "Its not going to get you and him anywhere. Now give it or value your life." said The woman kicking Raquel in the gut knocking her on her back.

Raquel jumped back on her feet and ran after the two going for the orb rolling away. "Rocket! Help your sister would ya." said Raquel ducking as the woman flew towards her direction. Rocket took out his gun pointing it to Peter and pulled the trigger sending a tiny bullet to spread a painful electrical shock knocking out Peter. "Groot bag him. He's worth a ton of units." said Rocket. Raquel went over to grab the orb but yelled as the green woman stomped on her tail and next was lying on the ground trying to catch her breathing. "Son of a bitch." She complained as the police force arrested everyone involved in the fight. The guard cuffed Raquel with the green woman known as Gamora. The rest of the guards led them to the ship with Quill, Rocket, and Groot sitting across from them. Nothing was said from anyone as they were taken to the prison. "So how are things?" Said Quill breaking the silence. "Fuck you. Your the reason that im in this mess in the first place." Said Raquel. "How was i the reason your stuck with a talking rat and tree here?" Said Quill then grunts after earning a hard kick to the left leg. "You left me and didnt have the balls to come back." Said Raquel. "I didnt know. Yondu was going into your room and i thought you were there." Said Quill. "Well looks like im going to die all because of you and selfish bullshit." Said Raquel. "What happened to my love and caring best friend in the entire galaxy?" Said Quill. "That bitch is dead." Said Raquel. "No she's not. I know she's still in there." Said Quill. "Just give it up. Otherwise she'll roast you and if you know her well enough how mad she'll get." Said Rocket.

Throughout the long ride in police ship they made it to the prison planet. After their mugshots and blasted with water Raquel followed Rocket and Groot to the lunch room. "Can you please talk to me? You cant stay mad with your best friend." Said Quill. "Ha. Nice try but she got us who didnt leave her behind." Said Rocket. "Oh come on you replaced me with a raccoon" Said Quill. Raquel shoved him away from her and noticed a few male prisoners going after Gamora. She saw one pinning her against the wall by her neck slowly choking her. Raquel walked over like she looking around using her tail to wrap around the man's ankle and threw him across the room. "Anyone else wanna be like him or get burned?" Said Raquel as Gamora regained her breathe. Every men left before glaring at Gamora and her as Groot and Rocket were setting the rules. "Why did you save me?" Said Gamora looking at her. "I can see who deserves an early death and you're not one of them." Said Raquel walking off. "Just so all of you know im with them and her." Said Quill after Groot released his roots from a prisoner's nose. "No one is going saving your dumbass." Said Raquel. "Why are you so heartless?" Said Quill stepping in front of her. "I was left twice like i was nothing." Said Raquel as Groot picked her up and carried her in his arms. "I am Groot." Said Groot. "Yes. I am calm." Said Raquel. "We know when your mad, sis." Said Rocket looking up at her. "I am Groot." Said Groot. "Ok give me the lavender." Said Raquel as Groot bloomed a stem through his chest. Raquel plucked it and smelled it as Groot smiled in satisfaction. She then noticed a few other inmates checking her out and let out demonic monster growl at them making look away or faint. "I am Groot." Said Groot. "You and Rocket know that I don't like being looked at like that." Said Raquel once she was put down. She sat down looking at the lavender boredly as Peter sat next to her looking at her. "Talk to me, Red." Said Quill. "Leave or have your dick burned." Said Raquel. "You're not gonna do that. Sure you beaten the shit outta me but never burned me." Said Quill as Raquel's body started smoking. "Everyone to their cells now!" Said a guard. Raquel left the table as Quill followed her but one of the guards took him to the other side of the cell. "I'm gonna get us out of here. I promise." Quill shouted until he got hit hard in the gut. Raquel rolled her eyes shaking her head as she being taken to her cell with two guards standing on both sides of the door with a device hat will put out her fire.

[v0nver]

‎‏I am mohammed ayyad of Gazans, living in very difficult conditions because of the war that the Gaza Strip is under. Since the outbreak of the war on the seventh of October we have been evacuating .

‎‏Then the journey of suffering and separation began,because my children were separated and evacuated from our home without covering or clothes., From here they became infected with diseases, and what increased our fatigue was the constant upbringing due to the different areas in which we were displaced, as we were displaced 9 times, and this was very expensive, the last of which was the 9th of this August from Hamad Town. In addition to that, we have lived in the summer season in a tent that did not exceed three meters, closed with nylon, so it is like an agricultural greenhouse atmosphere. It is very hot. All in all, we live difficult days that no human beings can afford

We have no work because of the war, and we do not have any kind of money and this is accompanied by a crazy and horrible rise in prices.

Although water is not suitable for drinking, this is the cause of many diseases

The last suffering is that we are out of Hamad without taking our purposes or our tents and now we are searching the earth in the roads and our children and our elderly parents are suffering..So we use direct donation including what they can or share links fully so people can know our tragedy and pain. Remember a small contribution can make a difference in the lives of many children who are dealing with their health condition all. Leave their details and make them happy with your generous contribution.

Mohammed Ahmad, dearest gentleman, i am thoroudgly sorry if it is a misunderstandment but your wall of text is either writtend by a poor uneducated man or by a cheap uneducated company. i ask for forgisvenness if it isnt so as i think.

my name is Von Ashley, of myself, i was born in saint petersburd and since then something taken caredd of. my father is working in the military service and i never seen him much because he is busy working in the military service, and my mother was working in a school as a cleaning service lady and i dont have a fucking clue about where can she possibly be right now as when ibwas teb they got divorced and idk honestly why sidm i got ti be with my father and my mother idk whree she went adftreer that. after that there was this lady who was acting like misrtress important bitch n got me in absolutely unnecessary beating covering by the name of the parenting process but shes absolutely fucjing nobody to me just like that bloody bondy fat duck armyman who tried to disprove me by breaking me fucking ribcage it still hurts as shit i cant bear it even can't pretend to feel like i'm feeling okay is hard sometimes and you know what its fine i think as long as nobody knows about it i'm gonna fix it when i get better but since i was beaten up in kids school and in middle scool and in high school and after that a little bit i didn't make much to earn myself a living and living with grandma right now going every day into middle of nowhere to work for one dollar an olhour it doesnt counts but i think its gonna be alright some time soon or not or i'm gonna get hit by a truck

i tried committing suicide when i was 16 but it didnt go well and honestly i wish it did because at that time and even after all this time right now it feels like i am burning flames vivid every single second around me entire life that much bad it is and i honestly don't know what am i gonna do about that thing but it hurts so much that i wish i were dead right now and niw i am a coward in that thing but if i could retunr to that moment i'd jump all 13 floors without hesitation and i regret that i didnct do it back then

but now that i am a cowardly nitwit hobo who can't do nothing i think i can do something and i will try some things to get out of this hellpitand maybe find a human whom i'd be able to love to and i know this is hard consiredring just how pathetic egoistic and cruel are humans but i will try wit my whole self put into it so i'll finally make dreams come true cuz i wanna learn how a proper hug feels with a person who doesn't disgusts by the sight of me and how you can talk freely without fear that later youll get a punch in the gut for it or how to touch a hand of another human and not convulse because it is scary sa shit because you know i always seen this love kind of thing going around in books and cartoons and one dear friend said that it really exists somewhere but unfortunately we are not there and now that theyre dead i just want to see if they were really right and it does exist because personally from what do i see for now it absolutely doesn't. it is a dream for kids to reach and they promise it everywhere but then turn those same kids into 9to5vers and suck their lives out like lemon juicelike it is the most obvious thing to do and they talk about it everywhere and so there are many who believe it and talk about its importance but what is really important is not getting hurt because miss mistress bitch also said "i love you, you're like my son and shit" and then shit no bitch then she throws me on the floor and kicks the hell out of me until i cant cry and until i cant breathe and it was making me so sad that i cant express with words just how much do i hate that perosn andshe was like no father told that shes gonna be instead of mom but if it really is right then i don't wanna live in this cruel world where everyone is cruel and everyone is violent ans everyone is fighting and they hurt each other and treat it like it is normal if it turns out to be fucking true i want to just kill myself and jump off a plane and then throw the parashute away and be dead for the fucking while because this is fucking painful

anyways if you are really a poor man i can't really help and if you are a robot then go to hell and burn there for long cuz in some time im coming here as well and you better see it

@ayaalanqar30