#man usually i come up with my concert fits months in advance but i only found out about this party like two days ago

[born-to-lose]

Realized I have a lot more 70s style clothes than 80s

[bouncybrain]

Something’s Fishy at Fazbear’s

OKAY

AU TIME. DON’T HAVE A NAME FOR IT.

I’ve only got design concepts for Sun and Moon (separate, here) but my brain took the general concept and ran with it, so [Mario voice] heRE WE GO!

(it’s gonna get long, so to save your dash I’ll slice it with a read more somewhere)

Fazbear’s is no longer a mega pizza-party chain. The company is more education than entertainment, though with their focus on children’s education that means children’s entertainment isn’t far behind. Instead Fazbear’s is one of those huge interactive museums or whatever they’re actually called. Discovery centers? Something like that. Anyway, it all started out small like with traveling displays n whatever, but eventually got big enough for permanent establishments. This AU and the ideas I have for it are primarily for the Security Breach time but other game-times do exist I just haven’t thought about them.

Animatronics play a big part in Fazbear’s reach and popularity, obviously, because of how sophisticated and advanced they are compared to the opposition; these animatronics have also always been part of the displays in varying sorts of ways. Originally they were just there as set dressing, but in present they’ve been expanded to roaming designated and themed zones. Freddy, Chica, Foxy, and Bonnie were the original animatronics, all designated to run a sort of “ecosystem” and “circle of life” display. Over the years they’ve been separated into their own zones. In present times there have been various additions in various different Fazbear Exploration Centers (everyone’s in this AU, just make a location for the game and there they are!) but the original four have always been present in the most central and profitable of the lot. I’ve got a few ideas on designs and functions and such, but I’ll save that for a potential later, if it comes to that.

Freddy, mascot and most popular animatronic character, is primarily deployed in a deciduous forest sort of zone; his primary topics are, of course, deciduous forests and their ecosystems. This means he knows just... so fucking much about the flora and fauna typically found in such ecosystems. Usually only a couple months behind research if Fazbear’s is having a good year. Capable of covering in other ecosystem zones.

Chica primarily deals with... well, no ecosystems at all. While initially she was part of Freddy’s zone, she’s been modified to instead fit with a food processing sort of area. From farm to grocery store shelves, Chica knows it all! Want to know what cows make chocolate milk? She’s got you covered! Everything and anything about food, she knows (most of) it! Except she can’t cook; she only covers the raw foods, since she’s working with kids who don’t normally need to know how to cook.

Monty works in one of the most popular zones: DINOSAURS. Him and his zone are some of the newest additions to the FEC line-up, primarily to teach kids about evolution and how that changed dinosaurs over the many, many years (and how gators like him are so GENETICALLY SUPERIOR that they’ve remained relatively unchanged). Has real bones in his zone, the bone zone, if you will.

Roxy gets... an industrial zone. Cars and robotics and factories are all under her jurisdiction; these attractions are heavily sanitized for children, as well as being heavily Fazbear-focused for obvious reasons. Her zone has lots of fake machines and displays of machines the kids can’t reach. All the kids can get at are relatively simple machines with a heavy emphasis on “harmless” interactables. There is an RC racing track! She’s very protective of it.

DJ Music Man is here, and he’s ready to party! This guy covers music and music history. Because real instruments are too delicate to leave out for hundreds of children to touch every day, there’s a lot of cheap plastic instruments for sale in his zone. It also goes into the general science behind sound and the art of music. He’s still a spidery guy because the zone looks like a concert hall and I’m not going to take that from him. (But he’s a little smaller. A little more interactable.)

Sun and Moon finally get their turn since they’re the ones that started all of this! There’s really no point to a daycare area in a place like the FEC, so they’re instead a zone split in two all about the ocean and oceanic life! This zone is more like an aquarium than anything, with Sun and Moon capable of speaking over loudspeakers outside their tanks to teach everyone about the fish they live with. The other half of the zone is less... alive and more full of plush toys and other soft things. Their zone really is more relaxing than any of the others, which means they get a lot of tired parents and kids and more-or-less it’s a sort-of daycare. The lighting is also split half-and-half in this zone. Aside from Monty’s mood-lit bone zone dinosaur zone, Moon’s half (deep-sea half) is the darkest place in the building.

THIS BRINGS ME TO THE GAME PLOT

Security Breach can still very much happen: children go missing from the FECs, they try and cover it up, past games go here. Freddy and Gregory go on a mission to GET OUT and run into Freddy’s friends being a little sus on the way. Really the major difference is just the Daycare section obviously can’t happen the same; I didn’t think about this much but Sun and Moon could very easily have access to all the cameras in the building and can broadcast information over an internal network to the other animatronics in the building, which means Gregory has a harder time hiding from the others. The Daycare section can be replaced with idk Gregory turning off the WiFi or something.

Or, since this is an AU, we can do one of my favorite things and pick and choose from the canon plot and instead apply those little bits into

Our Own Plot

By which I mean can you imagine a soaking wet fish-robot with a head that kinda looks like a sun flopping around on the floor throwing a fit because his zone wasn’t cleaned up properly and now he has to do it ALL HIMSELF while his counterpart is actually cleaning? Maybe a plot where the isolated and lonely Sun and Moon get upgrades so they can do the legs AND a tail thing and can meet the others. Or maybe it’s just a blissful tank life for the two of them and everyone’s happy and no child kidnappings and murders ever happened.

Idk if anyone’s gonna do anything with this just info dump of an idea, but if you do

Please show me! My asks (anon enabled) and submissions are open, and you can absolutely tag me!

[innranrae]

🐚 A Birthday Amidst the Archipelago

A/N: oneshot for my fav russian boys bday, i included the golden apple archipelago bc it was the most fun event/area I've experienced in genshin so far and I'll miss it a lot but at least it's inazuma and electro aether time, anyways hope you enjoy this and if you have suggestions/tips on writing or anything please lmk! I'm new to it all and I'm trying my best ;w; my friend proofread this tho and shes big brain so id say this one is pretty swaggy

￫ pairing(s): Zhongli/Childe, Aether/Venti (kinda platonic tbh), Venti and Dvalin vibing

￫ word count: ~ 3k

￫ cw: alcohol

￫ ao3

🏖️

Zhongli sensed a large being coming from the skies of Duyun Ruins. He did not want to believe it, but his doubts were soon confirmed.

Dvalin descended from the clouds with a heavy thud, sending the living creatures around either running or flying. Mounted on the Dragon of the East were Venti and Aether; The bard wore a pair of sunglasses and a light attire that shocked Zhongli to the core, he had thought the anemo archon could not get any more ludicrous, but it appears he was mistaken.

A slight frown grew on his face watching the scene and the geo archon couldn’t help but raise his palm to his face, sighing. On the flip side, Childe was astonished; his eyes sparkled observing Dvalin, considering what the outcome would be if they were to fight.

—

2 days earlier

“Traveler,

It has been some time since we last saw each other. I do hope your ventures are going smoothly.

I am writing to you to request assistance with an event that will take place two days from now. As you may know, Childe’s birthday is on the 20th of this month and I have been finding it hard to come up with a suitable gift. I wish to surprise him but nothing that fits my criteria comes to mind, in addition to the fact I am still adjusting to mortal life and their festivals.

If you do not mind and, of course, if you are free that day, I hope you can help me with this matter.

Zhongli”

After sending his letter to Aether, Zhongli straightened his shoulders on the stool at one of Heyu Tea House’s tables, raising a cup of steaming tea to his mouth, and waited for his guest to arrive.

“Receiving an invitation from Mr. Zhongli first sure feels nice,” a voice shouted coming from the stairs.

Zhongli glanced at the harbinger who took a seat by his side, “Childe, do you have any plans for your birthday?”

Childe widened his eyes slightly, “Birthday?” He raised his hand thoughtfully to his face. “Oh, my birthday! Hm… Is Mr. Zhongli planning on giving me some type of gift?” The harbinger smiled playfully.

“Please answer my question.”

“Nope! None at all.”

In actuality, Childe should be busy taking care of the Fatui’s business around Liyue; unfortunately for his underlings, he was going to do whatever he wanted either way. Additionally, he had a feeling Mr. Zhongli’s question was not trivial, and speculated the archon probably wanted to make plans.

“I see."

Unexpectedly, instead of proceeding on that topic, Zhongli said nothing more as he took another sip of his tea.

Despite the surprising lack of further development, he forgot about it as soon as Zhongli started to talk about a Ruin Hunter he encountered the prior day in the fields.

He knew by now what topics intrigued Childe's simple warrior mind, and that alone had Childe rambling about fighting tactics and his own experiences to Zhongli, occasionally trying to convince the archon to fight him, which he politely refused.

—

Meanwhile, at the Golden Apple Archipelago...

"I could really use a hand over here, Venti!" Aether's cry for help could barely be heard over the shrieking group of hilichurls advancing one after the other.

"But I-"

After unleashing a wind vortex from his palm, Aether glared at the bard, who was leisurely plucking the strings of his lyre on top of a rock. "Playing a battle song isn't helping!" He cut Venti off, resulting in the end of Venti's untimely concert with lots of whining.

After jumping off the rock, the bard shot an arrow that sent the group of monsters flying altogether.

The pair had a short-lived moment of relief, but soon the eerie sound of a horn was heard, indicating that more enemies were on their way. Aether groaned while Venti giggled nervously, and so, they had to return to their combat stances.

Not long after engaging, the traveler heard a short sound that made him stop his blade.

“Oh, I’ve got mail,” Aether walked a few steps from the fighting, reading the message while leaving the bard to get the monsters’ attention.

Venti's eyes widened at the sudden rush of monsters coming directly at him, though luckily, he sent them flying once again.

“Woah~ Don’t do that so suddenly, traveler, so mean!”

After reading Zhongli’s message, Aether was deep in thought, looking around as if searching for something, until his eyes met the green-colored ones of the anemo archon that reciprocated the eye contact, with a touch of wonder.

Zhongli opened the new mail he received, analyzing the few words Aether had sent.

“Meet us by Duyun Ruins at 9 in the morning, bring Childe with you.”

“Meet us? If I am not mistaken, Paimon has been staying with Xiangling, and didn’t show any signs of wanting to leave any time soon. Perhaps she can easily travel back and forth,” Zhongli thought to himself.

—

Present Day, Duyun Ruins

Jumping from the dragon’s back, Venti beamed, “Morax! Long time no see~!” Arms wide open as he threw himself towards his old friend. But before he got too close, Zhongli shielded himself, and instead of a hug, Venti’s face was compressed against the solid surface of the geo shield.

Venti staggered a step back from the impact, raising his hand to his cheek, now starting to swell, “Ow!” He pouted.

Zhongli tried to keep his cool, throwing a look at the two boys who recently arrived,waiting for an explanation.

Aether catches on the meaningful gaze and reassures, “Don’t worry, I think we avoided being noticed by anyone.”

“Yeah, Dvalin here is… Well, he tries to be discreet when flying around. After all, I was the one who taught him that~" Venti put a hand on the dragon's body while the other gave Zhongli a thumbs up.

"Saying you were the one who taught him does not reassure me one bit…" Zhongli’s veins were protruding from distress by now. "Aside from that, aren't you supposed to be more careful not to expose your identity in front of the common folk?"

The three other men stared at Zhongli in confusion, exchanging looks between themselves, "Common folk?" Venti asked. Childe was the first to realize he was probably talking about him and began laughing at the Zhongli's seemingly forgetfulness.

"Morax, you sure only remember what you want, huh. Even I know from the traveler's stories that this boy here is the eleventh harbinger of the Fatui. If that harbinger lady took my gnosis, I'm sure this kid knows my identity by now," Venti reassured while Aether slowly nodded, feeling second-hand embarrassment.

Zhongli was at a loss for words, raising his fist to his mouth, awkwardly coughing. On the other hand, the harbinger found the situation quite funny and patted Morax's back a few times while giggling.

Zhongli met Aether's eyes, "Nevertheless, what I desire to know is why that bard and his dragon are here?"

"Well, you’ll see when we get there," Aether reassured, getting back on the dragon's back along with Venti.

Childe cheerfully jumped on, extending his hand down to the geo archon who bashfully accepted, pointedly ignoring the meaningful grins the two other boys directed at him. And with little effort, Dvalin took off to the Golden Apple Archipelago.

The Snezhnayan boy's eyes gleamed with excitement from his first-ever experience that high up, sitting between behind Aether and in front of Zhongli.

Though, his laxity almost made the reddish mask on his hair fly away, luckily being rescued by the man behind him.

"Thank you!" The powerful gushes of wind made his words difficult to understand, yet enough for Zhongli to understand them.

If any normal person would travel through the clouds in the back of a dragon for the first time in their life, surely they would practice caution or be a little wary of their surroundings.

However, because Childe was Childe, an expert in adapting fast to just about anything, the journey on the skies was far from frightening.

A few minutes had passed and the boys were already close to their destination, and with his usual carefree expression, Venti looked back at the men behind him, yelling as Dvalin descended, "Hold on tight!"

With another loud thud, Dvalin settled at the northwestern part of Twinning Isle. Aether grew anxious in anticipation, waiting for Childe to see the preparations that he and Venti had come up with in such a short timeframe.

They had the inspiration from Alice's surprise for Klee, though not as crafty as she was. With the help of Tubby back in the Serenitea Pot, he managed to decorate the place nicely with newly crafted objects.

Umbrellas and chairs painted a light shade of sky blue sat next to fishing rods, Sea Ganodermas and conches decorated the sand in a path leading to a gazebo, which had seashells and starfishes hang from the wooden ceiling, surrounded by curtains.

And inside of it, one chest stored miscellaneous things, while the one next to it contained something that Venti declared extremely necessary: summer clothing he managed to acquire. In addition to the clothes he prepared, the anemo archon was also tasked with providing the food and drinks.

Visibly so as there were at least three bottles of either dandelion or osmanthus wine for every single dish on the table. Which, of course, was all paid for with the traveler's Mora.

All in all, the table was charmingly organized. A cake with a whale drawn on top of it sat in the middle of it all, while balloons were tied to the wooden table.

Upon reaching the sand, Childe was fascinated. The ocean breeze brushing against his face, the warm sunlight of the Archipelago and the salty waves gently crashing onto the tide united all the scenery together.

He’d never seen such a tropical place in his life, so unfamiliar in comparison to his frozen homeland's weather and features.

Lost in admiration for the scenery, he had already forgotten that it was his birthday, only remembering when Zhongli called out his name, directing him to look ahead where the decorated area was put, in preparation for the celebration to commence.

Venti leaned back against Dvalin's tail, already playing a melody, as the other three walked along the decorated path.

Aether fastened his steps, going ahead and getting a small box. Then, turning back to the birthday boy, he extended the gift.

"Happy birthday, Childe."

The harbinger let out a small "thank you" before opening it.

His blue eyes twinkled as he grabbed the content inside the box for closer examination. It was a bright piece of wood with a smaller version of him, Teucer and Aether drawn on it, as well as a ruin guard, or “Mr. Cyclops” as his little brother would say, stood behind them.

Without thinking, Childe embraced Aether tightly with a wide smile across his face, and at the display of the ginger’s excitement, the traveler couldn't help but feel accomplished.

After the gift was exchanged, Venti pointed out the clothes he had prepared, which made Zhongli flinch at the thought of wearing sunglasses as eccentric as his. Luckily, they were just lighter clothes, not accessories.

Childe, already excited from the exotic scenery, went on ahead to change his clothes behind a tall rock.

Zhongli and Aether walked towards the same location, at a much slower pace than the Snezhnayan boy, who was already out of sight.

“Thank you for your efforts, traveler. You managed to surprise me as well,” Zhongli finally got the chance to say.

“It was no problem at all. I’m having fun and the ‘tone-deaf bard’ was a great help, too.”

Childe emerged from behind the rock suddenly, wearing shorts and a shirt that was presumably supposed to be buttoned up. As a matter of fact, all the attires were of a similar design, the few differences being their color schemes, a few patterns, and the boy’s usual accessories.

Before any reaction, they heard monstrous noises getting closer to the shelter. A group of hilichurls nearby seemed to have been alarmed by the dragon’s arrival.

Something inside Childe’s mind clicked and he immediately turned the way of the shrieks, getting ready to fight, “Leave them to me!”

“Oh I was counting on that,” Aether affirmed as Venti nodded. Knowing very well of the harbinger’s passion for fighting, they speculated about the attack and gladly attached it to the list of events for that day.

Aether’s words were thrown at no one though, since Childe had left as soon as those four words left his lips earlier, leaving no time to receive any reaction from the others.

Bad luck for those poor hilichurls, honestly.

Childe's hydro blades moved swiftly, leaving droplets in the sand as they slashed one after the other, ending each almost instantly, leaving little space for a counterattack. He only stopped moving when there were no more of the monsters around, either because they were actually all dead or ran away from fear.

Coming back to the shelter’s path, Childe saw that they were now fishing, which made him joyfully run to join them, and noticing that he was back, Zhongli offered Childe a fishing rod and a seat next to himself.

“Oh man, this takes me back to the old days with my dad,” The ginger said while settling down on the beach chair, “Though the temperatures are the complete opposite, haha. I wonder if my family would survive the extreme change in the weather, though.”

Zhongli and Aether listened attentively while holding their rods, all the while, the anemo archon, visibly tipsy, communicated with Dvalin nearby.

“How come you managed to adapt this easily to the sudden climate change, Childe?” Zhongli asked.

“A warrior must always adapt to any situation. If I let the heat get the best of me, I'm weakened, consequently leaving myself open to enemy attacks."

"Damn, he never changes. If it isn't about his family, the answer is always related to being a fighter… Well, it is almost comforting in a way." Aether thought, mentallyrolling his eyes while taking a sip of the drink Venti had given him.

"I see," Zhongli seriously responded, "It is indeed true. Keeping one's body and mind stable is a must when facing laborious challenges."

Childe was filled with joy upon hearing the acknowledgement. It was always pleasant to hear someone who understood his point of view.

The traveler shifted his attention upon feeling a small force pulling down the

rod.

A fish had finally taken the bait, and the eyes of the two men also moved towards him when they heard the small "oh" Aether let out.

They all rejoiced at the successful catch and its size, and the traveler went straight ahead to prepare a meal for them.

—

As the day went by, they had almost checked everything on the task list; They fished for a while, Aether showed the mechanisms and puzzles that Klee's mom prepared, even landing his Harpastum so Childe could try them, he also taught them how to ride and summon the Waverider, they exchanged various anecdotes, as well as how the traveler came across the Archipelago in the first place, describing the whole Dodo King saga, and finally, filled themselves with food and drinks.

The sun rapidly fell under the horizon, merging the last colored rays of marigold into the indigo night sky. Venti had managed to convince the traveler to drink with him throughout the day and, needless to say, they were quite drunk by now, though both of them had a high tolerance and were somehow still acting civilized.

While Dvalin slept, the four men sat on the sand, listening to Venti sing around the crackling campfire.

When the bard began to sing a piece about Snezhnaya, Childe seemed to have recalled something.

He shuffled through his belongings, grabbing a bottle with a clear liquid, “This was a gift I received earlier, it’s a Snezhnayan specialty alcohol, Fire-Water!”

Aether gulped nervously at the familiar name. He had heard the stories around Mondstadt, how Master Diluc spent three days in bed after drinking a single glass of it, leading to the unsuccessful partnership with the Snezhnayan merchants.

Childe poured the liquid into separate cups and went around distributing them to the boys. Sitting back in his original spot, he continued, “As per tradition, we have to down the cup in one go!”

Venti was all in for the proposal, and despite their concern at first, Zhongli and Aether respected the birthday boy’s wish.

After raising their cups in a toast, they all drank the beverage at once.

Childe cheered, rambling about how he missed the taste of the drink. Zhongli seemed to be unaffected, calm as always, smiling and listening to the Snezhnayan boy.

However, Aether didn’t seem so well, he had expected the feeling, but because of the previous drinks he shared with the bard, it seemed to have had a stronger effect on him.

Aether wasn't the most affected by the drink, though.

That one shot was the ultimatum for Venti. His vision was blurry and he couldn’t stop laughing, which alarmed the others, but before they could take action and ask what was wrong, the archon fell into the sand, a grin on his face as he passed out.

After the realization of what just happened, Aether was the first to talk, “Um, I’ll take him to the shelter. I’m feeling a bit… dizzy too. I’ll get some sleep, haha,” He was making a great effort to sound coherent.

“Hope you enjoyed your day, Childe.”

A sincere smile was directed towards the boy sitting next to Zhongli. That expression warmed Childe’s heart. Aether had put great effort into this whole day and he could tell.

Childe was about to open his mouth to say something after the traveler turned his back to them while carrying Venti, but was stopped by the blonde, “Oh, there’s something I forgot to say. If you go west from here you will find another island with a shipwreck on top of the, um… Rock structure thing. It’s a good place to watch the stars. Anyways, hehe, good night.”

That piqued the two tall men’s interest, and after watching Aether and Venti enter the shelter, Childe looked at Zhongli, who was already standing up, as if he shared the same idea as the other.

A short cruise to the Nameless Isle later, Zhongli and Childe were already walking side by side through the tide, leaving steady footprints on the sand’s surface.

When the two stopped to both admire the place and look for a way to get to the top of the rocky mountain, Zhongli noticed a mural on the rock, which showed a shipwreck and what seemed to be a few people trying to save each other.

The archon was pondering about the meaning of it when he heard Childe’s voice from behind him.

“Mr. Zhongli, there’s a wind current over here!”

Zhongli went to the other’s location, noticing the current that led to the top of the mountain.

Without much effort, both of them got to the original destination: The shipwreck Aether mentioned.

It was indeed a tragic but beautiful place; a place where one could watch the azure starry sky, pale moon glowing brightly.

The two found a spot to sit near the ship that once sailed the seas, and watched the galaxies above them.

Childe offered another shot of the Fire-Water, which the both of them shared. Zhongli closed his eyes, deep in thought.

He had been trying to find the chance to give Childe his birthday gift, but he couldn’t find the opportunity to do so. Finally, now seemed like the perfect time.

He reopened his eyes and stared at Childe, who was watching the sky attentively, blue eyes shining unitedly with the stars.

“Childe.”

Upon hearing his name, he turned to look at the archon.

“Give me your hand,” Zhongli said, reaching his own towards the harbinger.

Childe automatically did so, and after searching for an object on the pocket of his shorts, Zhongli put the present on the other’s palm.

It was a single earring made of Noctilucous Jade and Cor Lapis, in a similar fashion as the one earring Childe normally wore.

“This reminded me of you when I saw it. If you do not wish to wear it, I understand, but I do hope you could keep it with you.”

Zhongli said that but the harbinger was already taking off his original earring, making the archon a bit embarrassed at the impulsiveness of the boy, yet very pleased.

Childe had been rambling about the, now, old earring and how he had gotten it in the first place, but after a while of no response from Zhongli, he gazed at him, being met by the image of the geo archon fast asleep.

Zhongli had a high alcohol tolerance, but with the nightfall, his drowsiness had grown to an almost unbearable level, and now, he was finally subdued by it.

Ajax couldn’t help but feel a warmth in his chest, his expression softened and he decided it was time for him to rest too.

He had never had a better birthday in his life.

[seethesuncoming]

Blackinnon Week 2021 - Day 4

You can also read this story on FFN

Last picture

Two figures materialize at the southern end of Diagon Alley, in front of a trinket shop that neither of them has ever bothered to enter. They do not attract anyone's attention, it is usual for wizards in a hurry who want to avoid going through Muggle London to appear in that place, one of the less crowded in the area.

The shorter figure walks to the large window of the shop. She looks at herself in the glass, the tousled brown fringe and wrinkled nose in disapproving expression. She tries to comb her hair as she turns to her companion.

"Are you serious? Did you drag me from the door of Caradoc's house to come to Diagon Alley?"

The boy, a head taller than her, stands next to her and runs his hand through his hair looking at his reflection in the same glass.

“Of course I am” He smiles cheekily. "It was a routine meeting, Marlene. Reports of the last missions, in which we participated. Nothing we don't already know”

He turns to look at her and winks.

“Besides, there is something more important that I have to do today”

She doesn't remember, but few days ago, she gave him the perfect idea for Harry's birthday present. He had been searching for an ideal gift for three months, until she told him about the launch of a new line of children's brooms.

A toy flying broom fits the profile of what Sirius was looking for: something fun and rebellious that allows him to get on Lily's nerves. That is the reason that has led them to Quality Quidditch Supplies. That day is the launch of the new Shooting Star 3000 toy broom and Sirius is willing to get one before they are sold out, he will spare no expense.

Sirius offers his arm, in a formal gesture he only does when he's in good mood and flirty. He smiles seductive. Marlene rolls her eyes, but accepts the gesture and puts her arm around him. The corners of her lips betray her and curl upward. They start their way to the store. As they get closer, the number of people in the alley multiplies to become a large crowd at the doors of the premises.

"It will take hours for the queue to advance," the girl complains as she receives shoves and tries to find a clerk in the crowd, "that if the brooms don't run out first.

Sirius finds a shortcut.

"Hey boy!"

A boy his own age in a blue robe with red edges approaches obediently.

“Yes sir?”

"How long is the waiting list for the Shooting Star 3000?"

"Well ... they'll probably be sold out before half the people here can be served."

Then Sirius does something that surprises Marlene and the store clerk: he puts one arm around the girl's shoulders and places his other hand on her belly. She fixes her expression immediately, understanding Sirius's plan.

"The child will be born in five months." He reads the name written in the pin of the boy's tunic. "I'm sure you could do an excited couple of future parents a great favor, Marius."

Marius stares at Marlene's flat stomach in disbelief, then moves on to her hair, Stevie Nicks styled, which gives her a bohemian look. She smiles at him sweetly. The boy then notices Sirius's shirt that says "The Who", with an arrow sticking out of the 'o'. They definitely don't fall into the stereotype of responsible future parents. It was probably an oversight by the young couple, but neither seems displeased with the idea.

To finish convincing him, Sirius takes out a generous amount of money and shows it to him. That ends up dispelling his doubts.

Moments later, Sirius Black walks out of the store with an elongated package and a childish smile. Marlene comes out laughing next to him. They have gotten away with it.

"Do you know what else you should do?"

When he turns his head toward her with interest, she continues.

"Instead of giving him the broom wrapped in that bland brown paper, you could wrap it like Muggles do, with what they call wrapping paper."

Sirius takes the advice, leaves the toy broom at The Leaky Cauldron and they head out the front door onto Charing Cross Street. Sirius has visited the Muggle world several times, but to attend concerts or visit music stores and bars. He has rarely been to large shopping malls or gift shops. He definitely has no idea where he can get the paper that Marlene mentioned. He is guided by her to a large building through which people enter and leave all the time.

"I once came with Lily and Mary to find a gift for James." She explains as they walk through the large doors of the mall.

They don't take long to get to the place they are looking for; but they do take a long time to wait for Sirius to choose the layout of the paper. Marlene, tired and bored, goes out window shopping while Sirius finishes making up his mind. As she turns to retrace her steps, she spots a photo booth out of the corner of her eye. A beaming smile spreads across her face as she quickens her pace to return to Black.

.

"You just stepped on me!"

"If you would just stop moving around so much, I might be able to accommodate myself fine."

Finally, they stop being a jumble of legs and arms, and manage to sit in front of the camera.

"When the count hits zero, they'll take four pictures of us, okay?"

Sirius nods inattentive, he's more interested in understanding how the machine will take four photos of them and deliver them to him as soon as they come out without using magic.

"The muggles’ ingenuity never ceases to amaze me." he says, his brow still furrowed when the first flash blinds him.

Marlene laughs with amusement.

"Relax your expression and smile for the next one. Remember that these photos have no movement."

Then, he shows that smile with which he used to melt hearts at Hogwarts. The flash illuminates them again. She turns to look at him and adjusts a rebellious lock that fell over his left eye. Sirius looks her square in the eye and smiles at her, mischievous and genuine. Both are lost in the gaze of the other and everything else disappears. The cabin lights up with the last flash.

The session is over.

When they go out, Sirius expects the photos to appear in his hands, as they would if it were a magical photo booth. Marlene scoffs at his ignorance once more and sticks her hand in the groove. She hands the boy two strips with four photos each.

He examines them, detailing box by box. He smiles at his own confused expression on the first and Marlene teasing on the next. His face turns serious with the last one, a photo that portrays the complicity and intimacy between them both. A photo that could turn against them if it falls into the wrong hands.

"Take them yourself."

Marlene looks at him confused. He explains, all trace of joy has disappeared from his face.

"There is… I think there is a traitor in the Order. If someone sees me with these photos... no one can know about us.”

She nods and receives them. She caresses his cheek lovingly, understanding how worried he is.

"They'll be under the loose tile on the ceiling of my room, okay?"

He nods. He knows which tile she means; they've kept things there before.

.

Thirteen years later, a large black dog enters the McKinnons' abandoned house. Inside, safe from prying eyes, he transforms into a slim man with a dirty and unkempt appearance.

Sirius has returned to London as soon as he learned that Harry's scar had hurt again. He takes advantage of his return to recover memories buried under the tile of the last room to the right of the second floor, Marlene McKinnon's room.

He holds his breath as he searches for the tile. Contrary to what he expects, the tile is still there. Still after more than a decade.

Its precious content has also survived time.

[glamrockmonarch]

Telling Brian You Are Demi/Grey Headcanons

Request: Hey babe! My lovely friend requested ace!Deaky head canons & it was so wonderful!! I really loved it! It’s awesome to see some representation! 💜 I also identify myself to be on the ace spectrum (as Demi or grey, sorry to bother you with new words) & I’m a huge fangirl of Brian! I just love his mind and I do find him aesthetically reaaaally pleasing haha! Could you maybe write some head canons the reader telling him that she is on the spectrum? 💛 - Anon

A/N: I love that you can feel represented! I wanted to write a lot more but I think it was sort of off topic (I already went rogue a bit)... Picture 70’s Brian for this one. I tried to live up to your expectations sweet Anon, and I hope you enjoy this! - Lou !

You and Brian have been together for a few months when you decide it’s time he knows.

Brian is one of the most wonderful boys you’ve met, and you honestly think you could be a lot more and become very close; the only thing that keeps you from this is the band, which doesn’t bother you. 

You keep giving him evasive answers when he starts hinting that he would like to go out with you, it’s not that you don’t like him. In fact, you find Brian cute and smart, almost a class A gentleman with a side gig as a rockstar. 

It takes Brian two concert tickets to see Deep Purple for you to finally agree on going out with him. He was beginning to lose hope. 

After that first date, Brian asks you out constantly, sometimes you just hang out in his living room and talk about anything while you have tea and he practices on his guitar. 

Brian had an open mind, you learned from spending time together, you soon become boyfriend and girlfriend, and he introduces you as such to his friends and family. You cannot blame him, you do the same; it is not every day that you come home with a tall handsome, educated, creative young fellow to introduce to your parents as your so!

Of course, it is not all easy between you too. After those amazing first few months together you can sense that Brian wants to take things further. 

For instance, Brian is very handsy. He has his arm around your waist and if you’re wearing a short top that rides up a little he will most likely graze your exposed skin with his fingers on purpose. 

You like to put your lips to his and enjoy messing with his curls, it is exactly after a kiss that you have to tell him. He was getting a bit into it and what would usually be a more innocent brush of his lips on yours turned into something a bit more heated, his hands had started to slide down your waist and you were slightly uncomfortable. 

“Brian...” you have to pull away and turn your head to reject his advances. You blush in shame. 

“I-I’m sorry,” he lets go of you, obviously embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to do anything you don’t like, I mean...” He tilts his head to the side  “I’m sorry. Can you tell me what’s, uh...wrong?” 

You put your hands on his chest, touching the soft skin there that is left exposed from a few bottons he never really bothers to button. He feels warm and his heartbeat under your palms beats quicker than it should. 

“I can, yes.” You answer and although Brian expects you to give him a reassuring smile you swallow through a lump in your throat. “It’s not you, it’s not that I don’t like you...”

Brian’s face falls, he thinks he know what you’re about to say and steps back further, so your hands fall to your sides as he nods slowly.

“I don’t know how to say it...I don’t want you to be scared, and please if you don’t understand at least please don’t,” you pause and blink away a tear, you are working yourself up by trying to go around the topic, “don’t be mean.”

Brian is scared now, he does not know what to expect once again.

Until you spill the beans.

“I am asexual.” You cannot look him in the eyes, and repeat yourself when he gives a confused “pardon?”

“I am. Well, Demi...which is not-not like fully...Not strictly asexual?” You did not know how to explain it, but you felt like you had to make the effort for Brian to understand.

He listens intently and nods his head as you speak. You work up the courage to look him in the eyes and he sees you clearer than ever.

You are so nervous, and scared and your face is pale now.

Brian holds your hands and when you are done talking he wraps his arms around you, pressing a kiss to your hair.

“I really don’t mind it, “ Brian says, “I just wish you’d told me sooner! The last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable...”

“I know! And I’m sorry! I understand if you want to go back to being friends.”

Brian does not want such a thing.

This man is already falling for you, to the point of no return and he lets you know.

“Oh don’t be ridiculous! Love is not about sex! And do believe I love you.”

You look up at him and give him a pouty smile.

He has never said it before, not out loud like that.

“And I love you,” You say in a small voice.

While your relationship grows after that revelation Brian does his best to stay within the lines you draw.

He asks you questions about your asexuality almost everyday, trying to understand you better.

“Is there slang for it? A nickname?”

“Tell me again, what’s the difference between asexuality and Demiasexuality?”

“So you are grey too?! How’s that so!”

“No, no, no, go back! You say you’re not into looks, but obviously: you are!” He jokes sometimes too, giving himself a bit of a confidence boost.

When you are comfortable enough to tell the rest of the band Roger teases Brian behind your back.

“Of course you needed someone who wouldn’t mind those scrawny legs!”

“Shut up!” Brian wasn’t particularly insecure of his body at all, but he would lean on John’s shoulder and ask “what’s wrong with my legs?”

John raises his brows and looks away, teasing Brian further without saying a word.

“Roger, grow up a little!” Freddie jokes, “Y/N’s a great fit for Brian. Very pretty, very smart. A classy lady....now, can we get on with rehearsal?”

All in all, Brian has many questions and he is not afraid of asking them to you when you are alone.

The two of you become more and more comfortable around one another.

You see him writing songs going around his small apartment with a notebook and a pen, muttering lines to himself, occasionally asking for other’s opinion; usually Freddie’s. You also see him reading his astrophysics books, sometimes reacting to things as his eyes scan the pages.

He watches you draw and design buildings, studying architecture you are running on fumes on the regular and if you’re not designing you are building a model. On the side you sometimes build little small versions of people, you make the tiniest of models as detailed as possible, Brian calls it art and asks if he can help from time to time.

Although there is a lot to admire from your boyfriend, you are happy that he sticks by you even though you two are very different.

You love his curious mind just as much as he loves your patient one.

[dear-jjh]

Reminiscing.

gif originally posted by defsouldanik

requested: yes! “Hi! Can I request an scenario for Daniel based on Taylor Swift’s Gorgeous? Thanks in advance!!” AND “could you write a fluffy daniel scenario please?” characters: kang daniel x reader, wanna one members genre: mostly angst, (some?) fluff, idol! kang Daniel au word count: 2.3k summary: you weren’t sure if you made the right decision to attend the concert and by the time the concert ended, you weren’t sure what to feel about everything that happened. author’s note: it wasn’t heavily based on the song (SORRY). I didn’t really know this song until it was requested so I just took some lyrics and tried to make a story out of it. I also decided to combine two requests because the other one was sent before the change I made in my request box so it didn’t really state any other details than just “fluffy”. I hope you’ll understand. Nonetheless, I hope that you’ll like it! Sorry it took so long! As always, please let me know how I did in my inbox, thank you!

masterlist

You looked at your calendar and thought that it was finally the day. You’ve been waiting for this for a long time now. Ever since you got the tickets for Wanna One’s first ever concert, you’ve been impatient for this day to come. For the day you see him on stage. For the day you see him… again. 

Its been almost five months now ever since you broke up with Daniel and it was because of him debuting. It was becoming harder and harder for you guys to see each other and communicate, so you just decided to end it.

Moving on from that relationship was so hard for you, but you don’t know if you can say the same for him. He seemed fine in their comeback stages, their guesting on variety shows, he seemed fine. He looked okay.

You were on the way to the concert’s venue with your friend and she knew that Daniel was your ex. “Are you okay? Are you sure you still want to go?” she asked for God knows how many times already. She was the one who has been there for you from the start, she witnessed your happiness when you were still with Daniel, but of course, she also witnessed your sorrow when you broke up, and honestly, you were so thankful for her because she was always there for you.

“Yes, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me” you said and gave a slight smile to assure her that you were fine. But were you really? 

As soon as you reached the venue, you decided to just go straight inside and find your seats. The loud music and the noise of the fans were becoming louder and louder each minute. You were in the VIP section along with your friend and with a lot of their fans as well. You were so close to the stage, you were in the VIP pit area. This was the only VIP ticket available so you decided to take it rather than sitting from the distance. You wanted to see him as close as you can, but you knew that he would never notice you in the crowd since you blended with so many fans.

You noticed that there were so many fans holding a banner that had his name on it and you couldn’t be more proud of what he achieved. The loud music stopped and the lights turned off. The members were still not on stage but a video played on the big screen at the stage. It was a video of the members getting interviewed. As usual, his was last.

While he was getting interviewed during his trainee life, memories started flashing back in your mind because that was the time you guys started talking and became together. He trained for about two years and you were together for a year and a half, but your relationship ended when he was starting to prepare for their debut.

When you started talking, he would always tease you with specific lyrics to Taylor’s Swift song called “Gorgeous”. He knew you didn’t really listen to her and that you were not very fond of her. He insisted that these lyrics really fitted you and his situation. By the time you guys became together, he would still sing it to you just to annoy you. You never really thought that it did suit your situation, but now it does. Now, you’re missing all the teasing and his singing.

“You should take it as a compliment 
That I'm talking to everyone here but you”

He always had so much confidence in him, but he was always shy when it comes to you. You knew that there were other girls waiting and drooling over him. Girls who were prettier and better than you, but he chose to stay loyal to you even though you guys weren’t even dating yet.

“And you should think about the consequence 
Of you touching my hand in the darkened room”

You could clearly remember the first time he held your hand. This was still during the time he was courting you. You had your first date in the movies. While watching the movie, you could tell that he felt uneasy because he kept moving around. He kept looking at his hand, and yours. There were times when you ended up catching him looking at you and you would just silently laugh it off. Finally, towards the end of the movie, he gathered all of the courage he could and he held your hand. He intertwined them. You felt your heart jump out of your chest the moment his hand touched yours.

You felt heavy with all of the emotions you felt with all the reminiscing. Before the video interview ended, he mentioned that for their first ever concert, he wanted important people in his life to attend and watch. Oh god, you wished that you were a part of those important people that he said but obviously, you’re not. Not anymore. The video interview stopped and the intro music played. You thought that this was the signal that Wanna One will finally start the concert.

The concert began and they performed the songs from their discography. From the beginning of their performances, you couldn’t help but be in awe. He looked astonishing on stage. His charisma and stage presence were so powerful, no wonder he had so many fans. You were so proud to see him do what he loved and him pursuing his dreams. You didn’t realize that you started tearing up but you had to quickly gather your emotions because they were performing an upbeat song and it would be weird if you started crying.

The concert proceeded and it was during that part of their concert when they just walk around and interact with fans. Since you were in the VIP section, all of the members would walk by and say hi to the fans. You wondered if they noticed you but you didn’t even know if they knew who you were. You wondered if Daniel mentioned you to them. There was a slight possibility that he did, but you weren’t fully sure. You met the members once and that was when it was newly announced the official members of the group. That was the only time you got to meet the members and it was also quick and not formal. Daniel introduced you as his special friend but you weren’t sure if they knew about your actual relationship.

A few members passed by except Jisung, Seongwoo, and Daniel. Jisung and Seongwoo walked in the stage near your pit and they scanned their eyes in the pit while greeting the fans. While Jisung was scanning his eyes, you noticed that he looked at you or maybe the other fans beside you. But you weren’t really sure. He had a shocked look on his face. He turned to Seongwoo and whispered something to him and now Seongwoo was looking in your area as well.

Did they remember who you were? That’s what you thought at the moment but you couldn’t assume anything because there were a lot of fans around you and in the pit. Who knows, they could be talking about them instead of you. Jisung and Seongwoo then waved goodbye to the fans in your pit area.

Your eyes followed where they were heading and Seongwoo headed to Daniel and again, whispered something. They were really far from your pit section, but you could see that Daniel turned his head and looked at where your section was and Seongwoo was still whispering something to him. They parted ways and Daniel started walking towards the section where you were. You could feel your heartbeat speeding up each time he was one step closer to where you were.

“If you've got a girlfriend, I'm jealous of her
But if you're single that's honestly worse
'Cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts
(Honey, it hurts)”

While he was walking towards your section, he looked so breathtaking. Each step he took was a step closer to where you were. His proportions were so good that you thought how was it impossible for someone to be real? His charm and good looks made your knees weaken, it made your heart hurt as well. It gave you so much pain.

How could you let this man go? Why weren’t you strong enough? Why didn’t you endure? Because let's be honest, you couldn’t see him with another girl, it would just hurt so much. But he deserved better. He deserved someone who would have enough patience to wait for him. He deserved someone who was strong enough to always be there for him even when things are rough. He deserved someone who was more understanding of his situation and career. He deserved nothing, but the best.

He stopped walking. He stopped at the spot on the stage just in front of where your pit was. You stopped. You stopped breathing. You felt your heart drop when he started looking and scanning his eyes towards the fans in your area. You wanted to leave, but it was too late.

“Ocean blue eyes looking in mine
I feel like I might sink and drown and die”

Before you could even turn your back, his eyes already landed on yours. This time you were sure that this Wanna One member was having an eye contact with you.

You were sure that Daniel was looking at you. He kept waving to the fans but his eyes were glued on yours. Oh, those eyes. You could easily get lost in them. There was a huge distance from where you were and where he was standing but you could say that you were drowning in his stare. He had his eyes fixed on you and you tried to look away but you couldn’t.

After a few seconds, he then waved for the last time before going back to his members. He looked at you once again and gave you a smile. You missed that smile. You missed him. Right after giving his smile, he left.  

“You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah
There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have
You are so gorgeous it makes me so mad”

He left. Once again, he left. For a moment, you didn’t know what to feel. Were you happy that you finally saw him again? Or were you sad that his presence brought back a thousand of memories?

The moment he started walking away; the day you parted with each other made its way back into your mind again. You decided to end the relationship as it was getting harder and harder but you knew in your heart that you still loved him. It was hurting, but you had to let him go. The moment you turned your back at him and started to walk away, tears started flowing down from your eyes but you had to act that you were okay. You looked back to see him and he started to walk away from the table where you guys sat and broke up. Little did you know that at the moment you turned your back at him, Daniel wanted to chase and hug you and tell you to stay, to fight, to endure. But he couldn’t because he respected your decision. It was against his will, but he didn’t want to argue because its what you wanted. He thought that it would make you happy, but did it?

You didn’t know if attending this concert was a good idea because all it did was bring back memories, all it did was make you realize that you still loved him.

After he walked away, you wanted him back. You wanted to have your relationship back. You missed him so much. You wanted to create more memories with him. You missed his laugh, his jokes, his great personality. You missed everything about him. But you knew it was impossible at this point. You loved him, but all that you can do now is love him from afar.

The concert ended without even realizing it. After the moment that you had with him, you dazed off for the rest of the concert and suddenly it was now ending. The members had their final ment and said goodbye to the fans. The lights turned on and everyone started to leave the venue.

“Are you okay?” your friend who witnessed everything asked you with a worried look on her face. “I don’t know, I don’t know” you said. She sighed and said “You still love him huh?”, after she said those words, all you could do was stay silent.

You were now in a taxi on the way home. You looked out in the window and started to reminisce once again. For another time tonight, tears started flowing down from your eyes. You lightly sobbed. You felt your friend rubbed your back trying to comfort you. You turned to her and gave her a slight smile.

It hurts knowing that you can’t have the person you love. Not anymore. You looked out in the window trying to calm yourself by looking at the sky when you received a text message from your phone. You felt your heart drop down to your stomach when you found out who the text message came from. It was from him. From Daniel.

You opened the text message and you didn’t know what to feel. Are you shocked? Did it make you sad? Or did it send butterflies down your stomach?

“Thank you for coming. I didn’t expect you to come, but I was hoping you would. I’m glad you came. I hope we can catch up soon. I missed you.”

You didn’t know what to feel, but one thing was for sure. You felt tears flowing down your cheeks for the hundredth time tonight.

posted on: 171202

[blackkudos]

Jackie Wilson

Jack Leroy Wilson Jr. (June 9, 1934 – January 21, 1984) was an American soul singer-songwriter and performer. A tenor with a four octave vocal range, he was nicknamed "Mr. Excitement", and was important in the transition of rhythm and blues into soul. He was considered a master showman, and one of the most dynamic and influential singers and performers in R&B and rock 'n' roll history. Gaining fame in his early years as a member of the R&B vocal group Billy Ward and His Dominoes, he went solo in 1957 and recorded over 50 hit singles that spanned R&B, pop, soul, doo-wop and easy listening. This included 16 R&B Top 10 hits, including six R&B number ones. On the Billboard Hot 100, he scored 14 Top 20 Pop hits, six of which made it into the Pop Top 10. On September 29, 1975, while headlining a Dick Clark Oldies Concert, he collapsed on stage from what was later determined to be a massive heart attack, and subsequently slipped into a coma, slowly awakening over a period of 8 months. He remained semi-comatose for the nine years until his death in 1984, at the age of 49. Wilson was an inspiration to Elvis Presley, Bruce Springsteen, James Brown and Michael Jackson to name a few. He was one of the most influential artists of his generation.

A two-time Grammy Hall of Fame Inductee, Wilson was inducted to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1987. In 2004, Rolling Stone magazine ranked Jackie Wilson #69 on their list of the 100 Greatest Artists of All Time.

Early years and career

Jack Leroy Wilson Jr. was born on June 9, 1934, in Detroit, Michigan, the only son of singer-songwriter, Jack Leroy Wilson, Sr. (1903–1983) and Eliza Mae Wilson (1907–1984), as she lost two previous children. Eliza Mae was born on the Billups-Whitfield Place in Columbus, Mississippi. Her parents were Tom and Virginia Ransom. Jackie often visited his family in Columbus and was greatly influenced by the choir at Billups Chapel. Growing up in the rough Detroit area of Highland Park, Wilson joined a gang called the Shakers and often got himself in trouble. Wilson's alcoholic father was frequently absent and usually out of work. Wilson began singing at an early age, accompanying his mother, once a choir singer, to church. In his early teens Jackie joined a quartet, the Ever Ready Gospel Singers, which became a popular feature of churches in the area. Jackie was not religious, but he enjoyed singing; the money he and his group earned from performing usually was spent on cheap wine, which Wilson began drinking at age nine. Jack Sr. and Eliza separated shortly after Jackie turned nine.

Wilson dropped out of high school at the age of 15, having already been sentenced to detention in the Lansing Corrections system for juveniles twice. During his second stint in detention, he learned to box and began competing around the Detroit amateur circuit at the age of 16. His record in the Golden Gloves was 2 and 8. After his mother forced him to quit boxing, Wilson married Freda Hood and became a father at 17. It is estimated that Wilson fathered at least 10 other children prior to getting married, and that he was forced to marry Hood by her father. He gave up boxing for music, first working at Lee's Sensation club as a solo singer, then forming a group called the Falcons (The same Falcons Wilson Pickett was later a part of), that included cousin Levi Stubbs, who later went on to lead the Four Tops (two more of Wilson's cousins, Hubert Johnson and Levi's brother Joe, later became members of the Contours). The other members joined Hank Ballard as part of the Midnighters. including Alonzo Tucker & Billy Davis, who would work with Wilson several years later as a solo artist. Tucker and Wilson collaborated as songwriters on a few songs Wilson recorded.

Jackie was soon discovered by talent agent Johnny Otis, who assigned him to join a group called the Thrillers. That group would later be known as the Royals (who would later evolve into R&B group, the Midnighters, but Wilson wasn't part of the group when it changed its name and signed with King Records). LaVern Baker, Little Willie John, Johnnie Ray and Della Reese were acts managed by Al Green (not to be confused with R&B singer Al Green, nor Albert "Al" Green of the now defunct National Records). Al Green owned two music publishing companies, Pearl Music and Merrimac Music, and Detroit's Flame Show Bar where Wilson met Baker.

After recording his first version of "Danny Boy" and a few other tracks on Dizzy Gillespie's record label Dee Gee Records under the name Sonny Wilson (his nickname), Wilson was eventually hired by Billy Ward in 1953 to join a group Ward formed in 1950 called the Dominoes, after Wilson's successful audition to replace the immensely popular Clyde McPhatter, who left the Dominoes and formed his own group, the Drifters. Wilson almost blew his chance that day, showing up calling himself "Shit" Wilson and bragging about being a better singer than McPhatter.

Billy Ward felt a stage name would fit the Dominoes' image, hence Jackie Wilson. Prior to leaving the Dominoes, McPhatter coached Wilson on the sound Billy Ward wanted for his group, influencing Wilson's singing style and stage presence. "I learned a lot from Clyde, that high-pitched choke he used and other things...Clyde McPhatter was my man. Clyde and Billy Ward." Forties blues singer Roy Brown was also a major influence on him, and Wilson grew up listening to the Mills Brothers, the Ink Spots, Louis Jordan and Al Jolson.

Wilson was the group's lead singer for three years, but the Dominoes lost some of their stride with the departure of McPhatter. They were able to make appearances riding on the strength of the group's earlier hits, until 1956 when the Dominoes recorded Wilson with an unlikely interpretation of the pop hit "St. Therese of the Roses", giving the Dominoes another brief moment in the spotlight (Their only other post-McPhatter/Wilson successes were "Stardust", released July 15, 1957, and "Deep Purple", released October 7, 1957.) In 1957 Wilson set out to begin a solo career, leaving the Dominoes and collaborating with cousin Levi and got work at Detroit's Flame Show Bar. Later, Al Green worked out a deal with Decca Records, and Wilson was signed to their subsidiary label, Brunswick.

Solo stardom

Shortly after Wilson signed a solo contract with Brunswick, Green suddenly died. Green's business partner, Nat Tarnopol, took over as Wilson's manager (and later rose to president of Brunswick). Wilson's first single was released, "Reet Petite" from the album He's So Fine, which became a modest R&B success (and many years later, an international smash hit). The song was written by another former boxer, Berry Gordy Jr., who co-wrote it with partner Roquel "Billy" Davis (who also went by the pseudonym Tyran Carlo) and Gordy's sister Gwendolyn. The trio composed and produced six further singles for Wilson, which included "To Be Loved", "I'm Wanderin'", "We Have Love", "That's Why (I Love You So)", "I'll Be Satisfied" and his late-1958 signature song, "Lonely Teardrops", which peaked at No. 7 on the pop charts, No. 1 on the R&B charts in the U.S., and established him as an R&B superstar known for his extraordinary, operatic multi-octave vocal range. "Lonely Teardrops" sold over one million copies, and was awarded a gold disc by the RIAA.

Due to his fervor when performing, with his dynamic dance moves, singing and impeccable dress, he was soon christened "Mr. Excitement", a title he would keep for the remainder of his career. His stagecraft in his live shows inspired James Brown, Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley, as well as a host of other artists that followed. Presley was so impressed with Wilson that he made it a point to meet him, and the two instantly became good friends. In a photo of the two posing together, Presley's caption in the autograph reads "You got you a friend for life." Wilson was sometimes called "The Black Elvis". Reportedly, when asked about this Presley said, "I guess that makes me the white Jackie Wilson." Wilson also said he was influenced by Presley too, saying "A lot of people have accused Elvis of stealing the black man's music, when in fact, almost every black solo entertainer copied his stage mannerisms from Elvis."

Wilson's powerful, electrifying live performances rarely failed to bring audiences to a state of frenzy. His live performances consisted of knee-drops, splits, spins, back-flips, one-footed across-the-floor slides, removing his tie and jacket and throwing them off the stage, a lot of basic boxing steps (advance and retreat shuffling) and one of his favorite routines, getting some of the less attractive girls in the audience to come up and kiss him. "If I kiss the ugliest girl in the audience," Wilson often said, "they'll all think they can have me and keep coming back and buying my records." Having women come up to kiss him is one reason Wilson kept bottles of mouthwash in his dressing room. Another reason was probably his attempt to hide the alcohol on his breath.

Wilson was also a regular on TV, making regular appearances on such shows as The Ed Sullivan Show, American Bandstand, Shindig, Shivaree and Hullabaloo. His only movie appearance was in the forgettable rock and roll film "Go Johnny Go", where he performed his 1959 hit song "You Better Know It".

In 1958, Davis and Gordy left Wilson and Brunswick after royalty disputes escalated between them and Nat Tarnopol. Davis soon became a successful staff songwriter and producer for Chess Records, while Gordy borrowed $800 from his family and used money he earned from royalties writing for Wilson to start his own recording studio, Hitsville USA, the foundation of Motown Records in his native Detroit. Meanwhile, convinced that Wilson could venture out of R&B and rock and roll, Tarnopol had the singer record operatic ballads and easy listening material, pairing him with Decca Records' veteran arranger Dick Jacobs.

Wilson scored hits as he entered the 1960s with the No. 15 "Doggin' Around", the No. 1 pop ballad "Night", another million-seller, and "Baby Workout", another Top 10 hit (No. 5), which he composed with Midnighters member Alonzo Tucker. His songwriting alliance with Tucker also turned out other songs, including "No Pity (In The Naked City)" and "I'm So Lonely." Top 10 hits continued with "Alone At Last" (No. 8 in 1960) and "My Empty Arms" (No. 9 in 1961).

Also in 1961, Wilson recorded a tribute album to Al Jolson, Nowstalgia ... You Ain't Heard Nothin' Yet, which included the only album liner notes he ever wrote: "... to the greatest entertainer of this or any other era ... I guess I have just about every recording he's ever made, and I rarely missed listening to him on the radio ... During the three years I've been making records, I've had the ambition to do an album of songs, which, to me, represent the great Jolson heritage ... This is simply my humble tribute to the one man I admire most in this business ... to keep the heritage of Jolson alive." The album was a commercial failure.

Following the success of "Baby Workout", Wilson experienced a lull in his career between 1964 and 1966 as Tarnopol and Brunswick Records released a succession of unsuccessful albums and singles. Despite the lack of sales success, he still made artistic gains as he recorded an album with Count Basie, as well as a series of duets with rhythm and blues legend Lavern Baker and gospel singer Linda Hopkins.

In 1966, he scored the first of two big comeback singles with established Chicago soul producer Carl Davis with "Whispers (Gettin' Louder)" and "(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher", a No. 6 Pop smash in 1967, which became one of his final pop hits. This was followed by "I Get the Sweetest Feeling", which, despite its modest initial chart success in the US (Billboard Pop #34), has since become one of his biggest international chart successes, becoming a Top 10 hit in the UK twice, in 1972 and in 1987, and a Top 20 hit in the Dutch Top 40, and has spawned numerous cover versions by other artists such as Edwin Starr, Will Young, Erma Franklin (Aretha's sister) and Liz McClarnon.

A key to his musical rebirth was that Davis insisted that Wilson no longer record with Brunswick's musicians in New York; instead, he would record with legendary Detroit musicians normally employed by Motown Records and also Davis' own Chicago-based session players. The Detroit musicians, known as the Funk Brothers, participated on Wilson's recordings due to their respect for Davis and Wilson.

By 1975, Wilson and the Chi-Lites were the only significant artists left on Brunswick's roster. Wilson had continued to record singles that found success on the R&B chart, but found no significant pop chart success. His final hit, "You Got Me Walkin'", written by Eugene Record of the Chi-Lites, was released in 1972 with the Chi-Lites backing him on vocals and instruments.

Personal life

Wilson's personal life was laced with tragedy. In 1960 in New Orleans, he was arrested and charged with assaulting a police officer when fans tried to climb on stage. He assaulted a policeman who had shoved one of the fans. Wilson had a reputation for being short-tempered.

On February 15, 1961, in Manhattan, Wilson was injured in a shooting. It is said the real story behind this incident is that one of his girlfriends, Juanita Jones, shot and wounded him in a jealous rage when he returned to his Manhattan apartment with another woman, fashion model Harlean Harris, an ex-girlfriend of Sam Cooke's. Wilson's management supposedly concocted a story to protect Wilson's reputation; that Jones was an obsessed fan who had threatened to shoot herself, and that Wilson's intervention resulted in him being shot. Wilson was shot in the stomach: The bullet would result in the loss of a kidney, and lodged too close to his spine to be operated on. In early 1975, during an interview with author Arnold Shaw, Wilson maintained it actually was a zealous fan whom he did not know that shot him. "We also had some trouble in 1961. That was when some crazy chick took a shot at me and nearly put me away for good..." The story of the zealous fan was accepted, and no charges were brought against Jones. A month and a half later after the shooting incident, Jackie was discharged from the hospital.

At the time Jackie had declared annual earnings of $263,000, while the average salary a man earned then was just $5,000 a year. But he discovered that, despite being at the peak of success, he was broke. Around this time the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) seized Jackie's Detroit family home. Tarnopol and his accountants were supposed to take care of such matters. Fortunately, Jackie made arrangements with the IRS to make restitution on the unpaid taxes; he also re-purchased the family home at auction. As far as money troubles went, this was not even the beginning for Wilson. Nat Tarnopol had taken advantage of Wilson's naïveté, mismanaging his money since becoming his manager. Tarnopol also had power-of-attorney over Wilson's finances, giving him complete control over Wilson's money. Unfortunately, Wilson was a rather trusting soul, trusting people he shouldn't have like Tarnopol and some of Wilson's other managers.

Tarnopol and 18 other Brunswick executives were indicted on federal charges of mail fraud and tax evasion stemming from bribery and payola scandals in 1975. Also in the indictment was the charge that Tarnopol owed at least $1 million in royalties to Wilson. In 1976 Tarnopol and the others were found guilty; an appeals court overturned their conviction 18 months later. Although the conviction was overturned, judges went into detail, outlining that Tarnopol and Brunswick Records did defraud their artists of royalties, and that they were satisfied that there was sufficient evidence for Wilson to file a lawsuit. However, a trial to sue Tarnopol for royalties never took place, as Wilson lay in a nursing home semi-comatose. Tarnopol never paid Wilson monies he had coming to him, and Wilson died riddled with debt to the IRS and Brunswick Records.

One of the highlights of the federal tax fraud trial of Tarnopol and several Brunswick executives came when Eugene Record of The Chi-Lites testified that he had been assaulted during a contract negotiation at Brunswick's New York office. Record stated that he asked Tarnopol for advanced money on a recording in 1972 when an associate of Tarnopol's, whom Record identified as Johnny Roberts, asked Tarnopol "should I twist his nose off?" Before any answer came, Record said Roberts "suddenly began to twist my nose, and when I pushed his arm away he punched me in the face, knocking my glasses off." A similar story concerns Wilson, who reportedly was hung out of Tarnopol's office window by his feet when Wilson asked about money, according to Chuck Barksdale of The Dells.

In March 1967, Wilson and friend/drummer Jimmy Smith were arrested in South Carolina on "morals charges"; the two were entertaining two 24-year-old white women in their motel room.

Freda Hood, Wilson's first wife, with whom he had four children, divorced him in 1965 after 14 years of marriage, frustrated with his notorious womanizing. Although the divorce was amicable, Freda would regret her decision. His 16-year-old son, Jackie Jr, was shot and killed on a neighbor's porch in 1970. The death of Jackie Jr. devastated Wilson. He sank into a period of depression, and for the next couple of years remained mostly a recluse.

More tragedy hit when two of Wilson's daughters died at a young age. His daughter Sandra died in 1977 at the age of 24 of an apparent heart attack. Jacqueline Wilson was killed in 1988 in a drug-related incident in Highland Park, Michigan. Wilson's second marriage was to model Harlean Harris in 1967 with whom he had three children, but they too separated in 1970. Wilson later met and lived with Lynn Guidry, a woman who would have two children with him. There was also a woman named Joyce McCrae, a fan who tried to take the role of Wilson's caregiver while he was in the nursing home. He was with Guidry, who was under the impression that she was his legal wife, until his heart attack in 1975. However, as he and Harris never officially divorced, Harris took the role of Wilson's caregiver for the singer's remaining nine years.

Wilson converted to Judaism as an adult.

Death

On September 29, 1975, Wilson was one of the featured acts in Dick Clark's Good Ol' Rock and Roll Revue, hosted by the Latin Casino in Cherry Hill, New Jersey. He was in the middle of singing "Lonely Teardrops" when he suffered a heart attack. When he collapsed on stage, audience members initially thought it was part of the act. Clark sensed something was wrong, then ordered the musicians to stop the music. Cornell Gunter of the Coasters, who was backstage, noticed Wilson was not breathing. Gunter was able to resuscitate him and Wilson was then rushed to a nearby hospital.

Medical personnel worked to stabilize his vital signs, but the lack of oxygen to his brain caused him to slip into a coma. He briefly recovered in early 1976, and was even able to take a few wobbly steps but slipped back into a semi-comatose state. He was deemed conscious but incapacitated in early June 1976, unable to speak but aware of his surroundings. He was a resident of the Medford Leas Retirement Center in Medford, New Jersey, when he was admitted into Memorial Hospital of Burlington County in Mount Holly, New Jersey, due to having trouble taking nourishment, according to Wilson's attorney John Mulkerin.

Jackie Wilson died on January 21, 1984, at age 49 from complications of pneumonia. He was initially buried in an unmarked grave at Westlawn Cemetery near Detroit. In 1987, a fundraiser by a Detroit radio station collected enough money to purchase a headstone.

Tributes and legacy

On August 17, 2013 in Cleveland, Ohio, Jackie Wilson was inducted into the Official R&B Music Hall of Fame.

In 1985, the Commodores recorded "Nightshift" in memory of Wilson and soul singer Marvin Gaye, who had both died in 1984. Reaching No. 1 R&B and No. 3 pop in the U.S., and topping the Dutch singles chart, it was the group's biggest hit after the departure of Lionel Richie.

Van Morrison recorded a tribute song called "Jackie Wilson Said (I'm in Heaven When You Smile)" on his 1972 album Saint Dominic's Preview. This was later covered by Dexy's Midnight Runners. When the track was performed on the British TV show Top of the Pops, a picture of darts player Jocky Wilson was used instead. This has often been speculated to be a mistake but Dexy's frontman Kevin Rowland stated that it was a deliberate joke by the band.

Michael Jackson honored Jackie Wilson at the 1984 Grammy Awards. Jackson dedicated his Album of the Year Grammy for Thriller to Wilson, saying, "In the entertainment business, there are leaders and there are followers. And I just want to say that I think Jackie Wilson was a wonderful entertainer...Jackie, where you are I want to say I love you and thank you so much."

Until Jackson's comments, Wilson's recording legacy had been dormant for almost a decade. Tarnopol owned Wilson's recordings due to Brunswick's separation from MCA, but the label had closed down, essentially deleting Wilson's considerable recorded legacy. When Jackson praised Wilson at the Grammys, interest in the legendary singer stirred, and Tarnopol released the first Wilson album (a two-record compilation) in almost nine years through Epic Records, Jackson's label at the time. Through Tarnopol's son, Wilson's music has become more available.

In the VH-1 5-part television special, Say It Loud: A Celebration of Black Music in America, fellow Rock and Roll Hall of Famers Smokey Robinson and Bobby Womack both paid tribute to Wilson. Smokey explained that "Jackie Wilson was the most dynamic singer and performer that I think I've ever seen. Bobby added "He was the real Elvis Presley, as far as I'm concerned...and Elvis took a lot from him too."

In his autobiography To Be Loved (named for one of the hit tunes he wrote for Wilson) Motown founder Berry Gordy stated that Wilson was "The greatest singer I've ever heard. The epitome of natural greatness. Unfortunately for some, he set the standard I'd be looking for in singers forever".

Wilson is mentioned in the song "Gone But Not Forgotten" sung by artist TQ, which is a song dedicated to the memory of famous musicians who have died. The lyric goes "..and Jackie, will you teach me how to glide across the stage?"

Wilson is mentioned in the rap song "Thugz Mansion" by 2Pac. The lyric is:

Wilson scored a posthumous hit when "Reet Petite" reached number one in the United Kingdom, Ireland and the Netherlands in 1986. This success was likely due in part to a new animated video made for the song, featuring a clay model of Wilson, that became popular on television. The following year he hit the UK charts again with "I Get the Sweetest Feeling" (No. 3), and "(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher" (No. 15).

Rita Coolidge covered "Higher and Higher" in 1977; her version reached No. 2 on the US pop charts, earning a gold record.

In 1999, Wilson's original version of "Higher and Higher" and "Lonely Teardrops" were inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame; both are on Rolling Stone magazine's list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.

Wilson was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1987; that same year, he was portrayed in the Ritchie Valens biopic La Bamba by Howard Huntsberry.

Wilson is referenced in the 1986 song "R.O.C.K. in the U.S.A." by John Mellencamp.

Wilson and "Lonely Teardrops" are referenced in the 1993 song "Jupiter and Teardrop" by Grant Lee Buffalo on their debut album Fuzzy.

In 1988, his version of "To Be Loved" was featured in the film Coming to America, when Akeem and Lisa were falling in love. Akeem (Eddie Murphy) later came back home singing the song loudly, waking up and infuriating his neighbors.

In 1989, "Higher and Higher" was featured in the film Ghostbusters II, the soundtrack album of which featured a cover version of the song by Howard Huntsberry. "Higher and higher" was also featured in Eddie Murphy's 2007 movie "Norbit."

"(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher" was also featured in the 2000 Disney film "Disney's The Kid".

In 1992, Wilson was portrayed in the ABC miniseries by Grady Harrell in The Jacksons: An American Dream.

In 1994, Monkee Peter Tork recorded a bluegrass-rock cover of "Higher and Higher" on his first solo album Stranger Things Have Happened. Tork regularly performs the song in concert.

In 2007, Wilson's music was featured in a film adaptation of Irvine Welsh's book Ecstasy: Three Tales of Chemical Romance.

In September 2010, Wilson's song "That's Why (I Love You So)" appeared on Dick Clark's Dick Clark's Rock, Roll and Remember.

On November 18, 2011, the Black Ensemble Theater of Chicago produced a musical about Wilson's life.

In 2014, artist Hozier released a song titled "Jackie and Wilson", a play on Wilson's name. The song includes the lyrics "We'll name our children Jackie and Wilson and raise them on rhythm and blues."

The Jackie Wilson Hologram Tour 2017 announced by Hologram USA on Billboard:

"Seen a show with Marvin Gaye last night, It had me shook, sippin' peppermint schnapps With Jackie Wilson, and Sam Cooke."

The singer behind ‘Higher and Higher’ and other hits joins the growing Hologram USA roster.

Add another name to the growing list of artist recreations by Hologram USA: Jackie Wilson. The R&B legend will star in a full stage show with a tour launching in 2017, co-produced by FilmOn TV Networks and distributed online by FilmOn.com. Nicknamed Mr. Excitement, Wilson was a dynamic entertainer whose mesmerizing dance moves and pioneering crossover success influenced a host of future stars including Michael Jackson. In fact, after Thriller won the Grammy for album of the year in 1984, Jackson dedicated his award to Wilson.

Between 1958 and 1970, Wilson charted 16 top 10 R&B hits and six top 10 pop hits. He topped the R&B singles chart six times, starting with 1958's "Lonely Teardrops" (No. 7 on pop). The Detroit native's additional No. 1's included "You Better Know It," "Doggin’ Around," "A Woman, a Lover, a Friend," "Baby Workout" and radio perennial "(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher." Wilson, inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, slipped into a coma after collapsing onstage in 1975. He died in 1984.

In a statement announcing Hologram USA's latest artist recreation, CEO Alki David said, "Everything you expect from an exciting ‘rock star’ stage show was invented by Jackie Wilson: the leaps, spins and back-flips, not to mention his amazing four-octave range." David's partners in mounting the new show are Plateau Music Nashville CEO Tony Mantor, who is the Artist Manager for Bobby Brooks Wilson (son of Jackie) and the Heirs of Jackie Wilson.

A ceremony was held on Saturday, August 20, 2016 at WHPR TV & Radio. At the ceremony, Cottage Grove Street officially became Jackie Wilson Lane.

Wikipedia

[thegreatantonchekhov]

Excellent people

By Anton Chekhov

Translated by Constance Garnett

“He thought, not of the agonies of loneliness endured by any one who begins to think in a new way of their own, not of the inevitable sufferings of a genuine spiritual revolution, but of the outrage of his programme, the outrage to his author’s vanity.“

ONCE upon a time there lived in Moscow a man called Vladimir Semyonitch Liadovsky. He took his degree at the university in the faculty of law and had a post on the board of management of some railway; but if you had asked him what his work was, he would look candidly and openly at you with his large bright eyes through his gold pincenez, and would answer in a soft, velvety, lisping baritone:

“My work is literature.”

After completing his course at the university, Vladimir Semyonitch had had a paragraph of theatrical criticism accepted by a newspaper. From this paragraph he passed on to reviewing, and a year later he had advanced to writing a weekly article on literary matters for the same paper. But it does not follow from these facts that he was an amateur, that his literary work was of an ephemeral, haphazard character. Whenever I saw his neat spare figure, his high forehead and long mane of hair, when I listened to his speeches, it always seemed to me that his writing, quite apart from what and how he wrote, was something organically part of him, like the beating of his heart, and that his whole literary programme must have been an integral part of his brain while he was a baby in his mother’s womb. Even in his walk, his gestures, his manner of shaking off the ash from his cigarette, I could read this whole programme from A to Z, with all its claptrap, dulness, and honourable sentiments. He was a literary man all over when with an inspired face he laid a wreath on the coffin of some celebrity, or with a grave and solemn face collected signatures for some address; his passion for making the acquaintance of distinguished literary men, his faculty for finding talent even where it was absent, his perpetual enthusiasm, his pulse that went at one hundred and twenty a minute, his ignorance of life, the genuinely feminine flutter with which he threw himself into concerts and literary evenings for the benefit of destitute students, the way in which he gravitated towards the young -- all this would have created for him the reputation of a writer even if he had not written his articles.

He was one of those writers to whom phrases like, “We are but few,” or “What would life be without strife? Forward!” were pre-eminently becoming, though he never strove with any one and never did go forward. It did not even sound mawkish when he fell to discoursing of ideals. Every anniversary of the university, on St. Tatiana’s Day, he got drunk, chanted Gaudeamus out of tune, and his beaming and perspiring countenance seemed to say: “See, I’m drunk; I’m keeping it up!” But even that suited him.

Vladimir Semyonitch had genuine faith in his literary vocation and his whole programme. He had no doubts, and was evidently very well pleased with himself. Only one thing grieved him -- the paper for which he worked had a limited circulation and was not very influential. But Vladimir Semyonitch believed that sooner or later he would succeed in getting on to a solid magazine where he would have scope and could display himself -- and what little distress he felt on this score was pale beside the brilliance of his hopes.

Visiting this charming man, I made the acquaintance of his sister, Vera Semyonovna, a woman doctor. At first sight, what struck me about this woman was her look of exhaustion and extreme ill-health. She was young, with a good figure and regular, rather large features, but in comparison with her agile, elegant, and talkative brother she seemed angular, listless, slovenly, and sullen. There was something strained, cold, apathetic in her movements, smiles, and words; she was not liked, and was thought proud and not very intelligent.

In reality, I fancy, she was resting.

“My dear friend,” her brother would often say to me, sighing and flinging back his hair in his picturesque literary way, “one must never judge by appearances! Look at this book: it has long ago been read. It is warped, tattered, and lies in the dust uncared for; but open it, and it will make you weep and turn pale. My sister is like that book. Lift the cover and peep into her soul, and you will be horror-stricken. Vera passed in some three months through experiences that would have been ample for a whole lifetime!”

Vladimir Semyonitch looked round him, took me by the sleeve, and began to whisper:

“You know, after taking her degree she married, for love, an architect. It’s a complete tragedy! They had hardly been married a month when -- whew -- her husband died of typhus. But that was not all. She caught typhus from him, and when, on her recovery, she learnt that her Ivan was dead, she took a good dose of morphia. If it had not been for vigorous measures taken by her friends, my Vera would have been by now in Paradise. Tell me, isn’t it a tragedy? And is not my sister like an ingénue, who has played already all the five acts of her life? The audience may stay for the farce, but the ingénue must go home to rest.”

After three months of misery Vera Semyonovna had come to live with her brother. She was not fitted for the practice of medicine, which exhausted her and did not satisfy her; she did not give one the impression of knowing her subject, and I never once heard her say anything referring to her medical studies.

She gave up medicine, and, silent and unoccupied, as though she were a prisoner, spent the remainder of her youth in colourless apathy, with bowed head and hanging hands. The only thing to which she was not completely indifferent, and which brought some brightness into the twilight of her life, was the presence of her brother, whom she loved. She loved him himself and his programme, she was full of reverence for his articles; and when she was asked what her brother was doing, she would answer in a subdued voice as though afraid of waking or distracting him: “He is writing. . . .” Usually when he was at his work she used to sit beside him, her eyes fixed on his writing hand. She used at such moments to look like a sick animal warming itself in the sun. . . .

One winter evening Vladimir Semyonitch was sitting at his table writing a critical article for his newspaper: Vera Semyonovna was sitting beside him, staring as usual at his writing hand. The critic wrote rapidly, without erasures or corrections. The pen scratched and squeaked. On the table near the writing hand there lay open a freshly-cut volume of a thick magazine, containing a story of peasant life, signed with two initials. Vladimir Semyonitch was enthusiastic; he thought the author was admirable in his handling of the subject, suggested Turgenev in his descriptions of nature, was truthful, and had an excellent knowledge of the life of the peasantry. The critic himself knew nothing of peasant life except from books and hearsay, but his feelings and his inner convictions forced him to believe the story. He foretold a brilliant future for the author, assured him he should await the conclusion of the story with great impatience, and so on.

“Fine story!” he said, flinging himself back in his chair and closing his eyes with pleasure. “The tone is extremely good.”

Vera Semyonovna looked at him, yawned aloud, and suddenly asked an unexpected question. In the evening she had a habit of yawning nervously and asking short, abrupt questions, not always relevant.

“Volodya,” she asked, “what is the meaning of non-resistance to evil?”

“Non-resistance to evil!” repeated her brother, opening his eyes.

“Yes. What do you understand by it?”

“You see, my dear, imagine that thieves or brigands attack you, and you, instead of . . .”

“No, give me a logical definition.

“A logical definition? Um! Well.” Vladimir Semyonitch pondered. “Non-resistance to evil means an attitude of non-interference with regard to all that in the sphere of mortality is called evil.”

Saying this, Vladimir Semyonitch bent over the table and took up a novel. This novel, written by a woman, dealt with the painfulness of the irregular position of a society lady who was living under the same roof with her lover and her illegitimate child. Vladimir Semyonitch was pleased with the excellent tendency of the story, the plot and the presentation of it. Making a brief summary of the novel, he selected the best passages and added to them in his account: “How true to reality, how living, how picturesque! The author is not merely an artist; he is also a subtle psychologist who can see into the hearts of his characters. Take, for example, this vivid description of the emotions of the heroine on meeting her husband,” and so on.

“Volodya,” Vera Semyonovna interrupted his critical effusions, “I’ve been haunted by a strange idea since yesterday. I keep wondering where we should all be if human life were ordered on the basis of non-resistance to evil?

“In all probability, nowhere. Non-resistance to evil would give the full rein to the criminal will, and, to say nothing of civilisation, this would leave not one stone standing upon another anywhere on earth.”

“What would be left?”

“Bashi-Bazouke and brothels. In my next article I’ll talk about that perhaps. Thank you for reminding me.”

And a week later my friend kept his promise. That was just at the period -- in the eighties -- when people were beginning to talk and write of non-resistance, of the right to judge, to punish, to make war; when some people in our set were beginning to do without servants, to retire into the country, to work on the land, and to renounce animal food and carnal love.

After reading her brother’s article, Vera Semyonovna pondered and hardly perceptibly shrugged her shoulders.

“Very nice!” she said. “But still there’s a great deal I don’t understand. For instance, in Leskov’s story ‘Belonging to the Cathedral’ there is a queer gardener who sows for the benefit of all -- for customers, for beggars, and any who care to steal. Did he behave sensibly?”

From his sister’s tone and expression Vladimir Semyonitch saw that she did not like his article, and, almost for the first time in his life, his vanity as an author sustained a shock. With a shade of irritation he answered:

“Theft is immoral. To sow for thieves is to recognise the right of thieves to existence. What would you think if I were to establish a newspaper and, dividing it into sections, provide for blackmailing as well as for liberal ideas? Following the example of that gardener, I ought, logically, to provide a section for blackmailers, the intellectual scoundrels? Yes.”

Vera Semyonovna made no answer. She got up from the table, moved languidly to the sofa and lay down.

“I don’t know, I know nothing about it,” she said musingly. “You are probably right, but it seems to me, I feel somehow, that there’s something false in our resistance to evil, as though there were something concealed or unsaid. God knows, perhaps our methods of resisting evil belong to the category of prejudices which have become so deeply rooted in us, that we are incapable of parting with them, and therefore cannot form a correct judgment of them.”

“How do you mean?”

“I don’t know how to explain to you. Perhaps man is mistaken in thinking that he is obliged to resist evil and has a right to do so, just as he is mistaken in thinking, for instance, that the heart looks like an ace of hearts. It is very possible in resisting evil we ought not to use force, but to use what is the very opposite of force -- if you, for instance, don’t want this picture stolen from you, you ought to give it away rather than lock it up. . . .”

“That’s clever, very clever! If I want to marry a rich, vulgar woman, she ought to prevent me from such a shabby action by hastening to make me an offer herself!”

The brother and sister talked till midnight without understanding each other. If any outsider had overheard them he would hardly have been able to make out what either of them was driving at.

They usually spent the evening at home. There were no friends’ houses to which they could go, and they felt no need for friends; they only went to the theatre when there was a new play -- such was the custom in literary circles -- they did not go to concerts, for they did not care for music.

“You may think what you like,” Vera Semyonovna began again the next day, “but for me the question is to a great extent settled. I am firmly convinced that I have no grounds for resisting evil directed against me personally. If they want to kill me, let them. My defending myself will not make the murderer better. All I have now to decide is the second half of the question: how I ought to behave to evil directed against my neighbours?”

“Vera, mind you don’t become rabid! “said Vladimir Semyonitch, laughing. “ I see non-resistance is becoming your idée fixe!”

He wanted to turn off these tedious conversations with a jest, but somehow it was beyond a jest; his smile was artificial and sour. His sister gave up sitting beside his table and gazing reverently at his writing hand, and he felt every evening that behind him on the sofa lay a person who did not agree with him. And his back grew stiff and numb, and there was a chill in his soul. An author’s vanity is vindictive, implacable, incapable of forgiveness, and his sister was the first and only person who had laid bare and disturbed that uneasy feeling, which is like a big box of crockery, easy to unpack but impossible to pack up again as it was before.

Weeks and months passed by, and his sister clung to her ideas, and did not sit down by the table. One spring evening Vladimir Semyonitch was sitting at his table writing an article. He was reviewing a novel which described how a village schoolmistress refused the man whom she loved and who loved her, a man both wealthy and intellectual, simply because marriage made her work as a schoolmistress impossible. Vera Semyonovna lay on the sofa and brooded.

“My God, how slow it is!” she said, stretching. “How insipid and empty life is! I don’t know what to do with myself, and you are wasting your best years in goodness knows what. Like some alchemist, you are rummaging in old rubbish that nobody wants. My God!”

Vladimir Semyonitch dropped his pen and slowly looked round at his sister.

“It’s depressing to look at you!” said his sister. “Wagner in ‘Faust’ dug up worms, but he was looking for a treasure, anyway, and you are looking for worms for the sake of the worms.”

“That’s vague!”

“Yes, Volodya; all these days I’ve been thinking, I’ve been thinking painfully for a long time, and I have come to the conclusion that you are hopelessly reactionary and conventional. Come, ask yourself what is the object of your zealous, conscientious work? Tell me, what is it? Why, everything has long ago been extracted that can be extracted from that rubbish in which you are always rummaging. You may pound water in a mortar and analyse it as long as you like, you’ll make nothing more of it than the chemists have made already. . . .”

“Indeed!” drawled Vladimir Semyonitch, getting up. “Yes, all this is old rubbish because these ideas are eternal; but what do you consider new, then?”

“You undertake to work in the domain of thought; it is for you to think of something new. It’s not for me to teach you.”

“Me -- an alchemist!” the critic cried in wonder and indignation, screwing up his eyes ironically. “Art, progress -- all that is alchemy?”

“You see, Volodya, it seems to me that if all you thinking people had set yourselves to solving great problems, all these little questions that you fuss about now would solve themselves by the way. If you go up in a balloon to see a town, you will incidentally, without any effort, see the fields and the villages and the rivers as well. When stearine is manufactured, you get glycerine as a by-product. It seems to me that contemporary thought has settled on one spot and stuck to it. It is prejudiced, apathetic, timid, afraid to take a wide titanic flight, just as you and I are afraid to climb on a high mountain; it is conservative.”

Such conversations could not but leave traces. The relations of the brother and sister grew more and more strained every day. The brother became unable to work in his sister’s presence, and grew irritable when he knew his sister was lying on the sofa, looking at his back; while the sister frowned nervously and stretched when, trying to bring back the past, he attempted to share his enthusiasms with her. Every evening she complained of being bored, and talked about independence of mind and those who are in the rut of tradition. Carried away by her new ideas, Vera Semyonovna proved that the work that her brother was so engrossed in was conventional, that it was a vain effort of conservative minds to preserve what had already served its turn and was vanishing from the scene of action. She made no end of comparisons. She compared her brother at one time to an alchemist, then to a musty old Believer who would sooner die than listen to reason. By degrees there was a perceptible change in her manner of life, too. She was capable of lying on the sofa all day long doing nothing but think, while her face wore a cold, dry expression such as one sees in one-sided people of strong faith. She began to refuse the attentions of the servants, swept and tidied her own room, cleaned her own boots and brushed her own clothes. Her brother could not help looking with irritation and even hatred at her cold face when she went about her menial work. In that work, which was always performed with a certain solemnity, he saw something strained and false, he saw something both pharisaical and affected. And knowing he could not touch her by persuasion, he carped at her and teased her like a schoolboy.

“You won’t resist evil, but you resist my having servants!” he taunted her. “If servants are an evil, why do you oppose it? That’s inconsistent!”

He suffered, was indignant and even ashamed. He felt ashamed when his sister began doing odd things before strangers.

“It’s awful, my dear fellow,” he said to me in private, waving his hands in despair. “It seems that our ingénue has remained to play a part in the farce, too. She’s become morbid to the marrow of her bones! I’ve washed my hands of her, let her think as she likes; but why does she talk, why does she excite me? She ought to think what it means for me to listen to her. What I feel when in my presence she has the effrontery to support her errors by blasphemously quoting the teaching of Christ! It chokes me! It makes me hot all over to hear my sister propounding her doctrines and trying to distort the Gospel to suit her, when she purposely refrains from mentioning how the moneychangers were driven out of the Temple. That’s, my dear fellow, what comes of being half educated, undeveloped! That’s what comes of medical studies which provide no general culture!”

One day on coming home from the office, Vladimir Semyonitch found his sister crying. She was sitting on the sofa with her head bowed, wringing her hands, and tears were flowing freely down her cheeks. The critic’s good heart throbbed with pain. Tears fell from his eyes, too, and he longed to pet his sister, to forgive her, to beg her forgiveness, and to live as they used to before. . . . He knelt down and kissed her head, her hands, her shoulders. . . . She smiled, smiled bitterly, unaccountably, while he with a cry of joy jumped up, seized the magazine from the table and said warmly:

“Hurrah! We’ll live as we used to, Verotchka! With God’s blessing! And I’ve such a surprise for you here! Instead of celebrating the occasion with champagne, let us read it together! A splendid, wonderful thing!”

“Oh, no, no!” cried Vera Semyonovna, pushing away the book in alarm. “I’ve read it already! I don’t want it, I don’t want it!”

“When did you read it?”

“A year . . . two years ago. . . I read it long ago, and I know it, I know it!”

“H’m! . . . You’re a fanatic!” her brother said coldly, flinging the magazine on to the table.

“No, you are a fanatic, not I! You!” And Vera Semyonovna dissolved into tears again. Her brother stood before her, looked at her quivering shoulders, and thought. He thought, not of the agonies of loneliness endured by any one who begins to think in a new way of their own, not of the inevitable sufferings of a genuine spiritual revolution, but of the outrage of his programme, the outrage to his author’s vanity.

From this time he treated his sister coldly, with careless irony, and he endured her presence in the room as one endures the presence of old women that are dependent on one. For her part, she left off disputing with him and met all his arguments, jeers, and attacks with a condescending silence which irritated him more than ever.

One summer morning Vera Semyonovna, dressed for travelling with a satchel over her shoulder, went in to her brother and coldly kissed him on the forehead.

“Where are you going?” he asked with surprise.

“To the province of N. to do vaccination work.” Her brother went out into the street with her.

“So that’s what you’ve decided upon, you queer girl,” he muttered. “Don’t you want some money?”

“No, thank you. Good-bye.”

The sister shook her brother’s hand and set off.

“Why don’t you have a cab?” cried Vladimir Semyonitch.

She did not answer. Her brother gazed after her, watched her rusty-looking waterproof, the swaying of her figure as she slouched along, forced himself to sigh, but did not succeed in rousing a feeling of regret. His sister had become a stranger to him. And he was a stranger to her. Anyway, she did not once look round.

Going back to his room, Vladimir Semyonitch at once sat down to the table and began to work at his article.

I never saw Vera Semyonovna again. Where she is now I do not know. And Vladimir Semyonitch went on writing his articles, laying wreaths on coffins, singing Gaudeamus, busying himself over the Mutual Aid Society of Moscow Journalists.

He fell ill with inflammation of the lungs; he was ill in bed for three months -- at first at home, and afterwards in the Golitsyn Hospital. An abscess developed in his knee. People said he ought to be sent to the Crimea, and began getting up a collection for him. But he did not go to the Crimea -- he died. We buried him in the Vagankovsky Cemetery, on the left side, where artists and literary men are buried.

One day we writers were sitting in the Tatars’ restaurant. I mentioned that I had lately been in the Vagankovsky Cemetery and had seen Vladimir Semyonitch’s grave there. It was utterly neglected and almost indistinguishable from the rest of the ground, the cross had fallen; it was necessary to collect a few roubles to put it in order.

But they listened to what I said unconcernedly, made no answer, and I could not collect a farthing. No one remembered Vladimir Semyonitch. He was utterly forgotten.

NOTES

St. Tatiana’s Day: January 5 (Julian Calendar)

Gaudeamus: a student song of German origin sometimes sung at academic exercises; the first words, Gaudeamus igitur mean “Let us therefore rejoice”

Leskov: Nikolay S. Leskov (1831-1895) was known for the humor and raciness of his stories

idée fixe: an obsession

ingénue: the role of an artless, innocent young woman in a dramatic production

old Believer: a member of a religious sect that refused to accept the Church reforms of 1682

[ryqoshay]

How to Handle a Nico: Rubies and Diamonds

Primary Paring: NicoMaki Side Pairings: NozoEli, RinPana, KotoUmi, TsubaHono Words: ~4k Rating: K Time Frame: Maki is working through her residency. Nico is working as an idol producer. They are living together as a couple, but not married yet. Story Arc: “Proposal” How to Seek a Nishikino’s Blessing How to Obtain a Yazawa’s Blessing How to Prepare a Proposal Rubies and Diamonds

List of all HtHaN scenes

Author’s Note: Sorry, SS fans, this scene has nothing to do with the Kurosawa siblings. They appear in HL, not HtHaN.

No1Idol: Heading back home

DrNishikino: What?!

DrNishikino: Why?

DrNishikino: Are you alright, Nico-chan?

No1Idol: I’m fine Maki-chan

No1Idol: Believe me, if it was serious, I would have called

No1Idol: Or if it was really serious, someone else would have had to call for me

DrNishiknio: So what’s up?

No1Idol: The venue where I was to perform the first leg of my tour is kind of underwater from the heraldry

DrNishikino: Heraldry?

DrNishikino: You mean the monsoon?

DrNishikino: You’re still bringing that up?

No1Idol: Anyway, Hanayo is looking into finding a different venue and moving the date to the end of the tour

No1Idol: Hopefully we won’t have to refund too many tickets that way

No1Idol: Not that I worry about the refunds themselves

No1Idol: I’d just rather give them the concert they paid for

DrNishikino: Of course

No1Idol: So yeah, I’m on my way back home now

No1Idol: If nothing else, I get another weekend with my favorite Maki-chan

DrNishikino: Well I’m at work

DrNishikino: So I won’t see you when you get back

No1Idol: Of course

No1Idol: I know that

No1Idol: Where else would you be?

DrNishikino: Nowhere

DrNishikino: Just at work

DrNishikino: A normal day at work

DrNishikino: See you tonight, Nico-chan

DrNishikino: At home

No1Idol: I’ll make something good for dinner

DrNishikino: I’ll look forward to it

No1Idol: I love you, Maki-chan

DrNishikino: I love you too, Nico-chan

No1Idol: You and Maki-chan are ring shopping today, aren’t you

SpiritualPower: We are

SpiritualPower: Elicchi and I are on our way to meet Maki-chan at the store now

SpiritualPower: Why do you ask?

No1Idol: Oh, Maki-chan is just being her usual unsubtle self

No1Idol: I think she panicked a little when I said I was heading home because the first part of my tour is being rescheduled

SpiritualPower: Ah, that’s right, I heard about the flooding this morning on the news

No1Idol: She was strangely insistent about being at work

No1Idol: I almost feel bad not telling her I already know

No1Idol: Almost

SpiritualPower: Well since you’re in town anyway, why not come along?

SpiritualPower: Maki-chan originally invited you anyway

No1Idol: But that would ruin the surprise

SpritualPower: The fake surprise you already know about?

No1Idol: Exactly

No1Idol: Wait

No1Idol: I mean it’s not fake

No1Idol: It’s still a surprise

No1Idol: It’s just going to be a surprise for Maki-chan instead of for me

SpiritualPower: Well you could still come and watch Maki-chan pick out your ring

No1Idol: What do you mean?

SpiritualPower: Go incogNico

No1Idol: Leave me out of your voyeuristic fantasies

SpiritualPower: You spied on µ’s before you joined, did you not?

SpiritualPower: In fact both you and Maki did

SpiritualPower: Don’t you think it would be fun to watch Maki-chan figure out what to buy you?

No1Idol: Maybe

SpiritualPower: See you there!

No1Idol: Don’t say that like I’ve already agreed!

“Maki-chan!” Nozomi called with a wave. “We’re over here!”

“Eli?” Maki asked, approaching the couple.

“Sorry,” Eli apologized “I hope you don’t mind my tagging along.”

“Elicchi is the best when it comes to accessories and jewelry, as you know.” Nozomi explained with a proud smile as she boasted about her fiancée.

“No, it’s fine.” Maki shook her head before turning her attention to Eli who was blushing at the exaggerated compliment. “Thank you in advance for your time and advice.”

“It’s my pleasure.” The blonde said as her blush subsided. “I’m happy to help you and Nico where I can.”

“With what might I have the honor of assisting you fine young ladies today?” A well-dressed employee asked as he approached the group entering the store.

“We are in the market for engagement rings.” Eli explained.

“Maki-chan here is getting married.” Nozomi said, placing both hands on said girl’s shoulders and pushing her forward a little.

“N-Nozomi…” Maki protested softly, trying to avoid blushing.

A flash of confusion crossed the man’s face, just for a moment, but he blinked and it was gone. “Very well. You have most certainly come to the right place.” He held out an arm to indicate a direction. “Right this way, if you please.” The three followed his lead.

Maki’s eyes widened as she took in the displays before her. She was not unfamiliar with high-end jewelry; she was the daughter of a wealthy family, after all, and such accessories were expected to be worn to the many gatherings to which her parents brought her. However, as someone who generally disregarded most things romantic, she had no idea there was such a variety of wedding related jewelry.

“Are we just browsing today or do you have an idea already?” The man asked, slipping behind a waist-height display case and turning to face the girls.

“Let’s start with an Ideal cut.” Eli stated confidently. “Next, we can start with VVS2, though I’m sure we’ll move up. We’ll definitely go with Colorless; we will start with F and move up if needed. Lastly, I doubt we will be looking at anything less than a carat.”

Maki stared at the blonde, completely at a loss for words while Nozomi’s grin only grew.

“Excellent choices.” The man said with a curt nod. “Perhaps you might be interested in one of our newest collections, which include many selections that fit those parameters. Allow me a moment to retrieve a selection, as we have not even put them on display yet.” That said, he turned and disappeared through a discrete door.

“You did you’re research, Elicchi.” Nozomi marveled.

“I did some.” Eli admitted before turning to Maki. “Forgive me, but I felt it rude to ask you directly for what you’re able to spend, so I made a rough estimate and from there, worked out something I felt we could start with.”

“It’s fine.” Maki shook her head again. “Again, thank you.”

“You can work your way up or down from here.” Eli added. “Again, that was just a starting point.”

Maki nodded in response. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t overwhelmed with the number of choices she had already seen just in the immediate area. She chastised herself for not doing her own research as well. It was no wonder Nozomi had insisted on setting aside a sizable amount of time. It was foolish for Maki to have thought she could just chose one that caught her fancy and be done in a few minutes. She had already seen at least a dozen she thought Nico might like, just on the walk over.

“Also, remember,” The blonde continued, “you do not have to take the diamond and the ring as a whole.”

“Huh?” the redhead blinked.

“If you see a the diamond you like, but prefer a different ring, you may request it set in said ring.” Eli explained. “This place also specializes in customization; they can literally build your ring from the ground up if you want.”

“I see…” Great… more choices…

“Here we are.” The store clerk said upon returning. “These are some of the latest designs.” He set down a stack of trays. “There are plenty more, so if there is one you like, I can bring out a selection of similar designs.”

“Thank you.” Maki replied and began browsing.

How long had she been in the store? Maki wondered if it would be rude to check the time. She hadn’t worn a watch, her phone was in her purse, and she had not previously looked for clocks in the store, so there was no subtle way to check.

Why did picking out ring have to be so hard? Part of Maki wanted to just point to a random ring and buy it so she could go home and see Nico. But this was for Nico. Nico would be wearing this as a symbol of their relationship, of their commitment to one another, and of Maki’s love for her. Maki needed to pick the perfect one. But while many, many rings had appealed to her thus far, none had been the one she felt she absolutely needed to buy.

The clerk seemed to have an endless supply of patience, retrieving more trays and always returning with a smile. He had made several suggestions, and with Maki and Eli’s agreement, they had moved up in carat size and clarity grade.

At some point, Nozomi had become distracted by a display of birthstone themed jewelry and had dragged Eli over as well. Before leaving, Eli had mentioned that Maki need not hesitate to ask if she needed their help.

Birthstones…

What was Nico’s birthstone? For that matter, what was her own? Maki realized she didn’t know either. The idea was kind of silly anyway. It was like buying jewelry with one’s zodiac sign. Only romantic types cared about such things as birthstones…

“Uhm…” Maki spoke up.

“Yes, ma’am?” The clerk responded.

“Do you have any rings with other gems besides just diamonds?”

“Do you mean like a gemstone accent?”

“Maybe? One with a diamond in the middle but other colored gems around it?”

“Absolutely. My apologies for not suggesting them before.”

“That’s fine.”

“Any particular gem you have in mind, or do you want me to bring out another selection?”

“Uhm… birthstones… maybe?”

“For what month?”

“July.”

“Ah, yes, the ruby. An excellent accent gem. I will be right back.”

Rubies… Rubies were red. Like Nico’s eyes.

“Here we are.” The man said, holding out a tray. “Engagement rings with ruby accents.”

Immediately, Maki’s eyes landed on one ring. Its central, heart cut diamond sat between a pair of smaller red gems that were also heart shaped. The first thought that came to Maki’s mind were the ribbons Nico used to wear through high school and college, and even now occasionally while on stage or in a photoshoot.

“See one you like?” the clerk asked, noticing the change in his client’s demeanor.

“Yes…” Maki reached forward to take a closer look at the ring. She held it up. Beautiful.

“Maki-chan!”

“Bueehhh?” The redhead almost dropped the ring in her hand as a voice she had not expected to hear called her name. She turned towards the source.

“It is you, Maki-chan!” An orange-haired girl exclaimed, bouncing over. “I knew it! I was right, Tsubasa-chan!” She grinned at her companion.

“Honoka!” A stern voice said from behind as another pair of young women walked up. “You shouldn’t be so loud in a store like this.”

“W-what are you guys all doing here?” Maki asked.

“Tsubasa-chan and I just met Umi-chan and Kotori-chan for lunch. On our way out, I noticed you here as we walked by.” Honoka explained.

“So what are you doing here?” Tsubasa asked, though her expression suggested she already knew the answer.

“I… uhm…” Maki’s mind whirled, not expecting to need to give said answer.

“Is that for Nico-chan?” Kotori asked, eyes wide as she spied the ring in Maki’s hand.

“Y-yes…” the redhead admitted. “I think this might be the one.”

“May I see it?”

Maki nodded and handed over the ring.

“It’s lovely. Nico-chan will love it.”

“I hope so…”

“Are you going to propose to Nico-chan?” Honoka asked excitedly.

Maki could feel heat rising in her cheeks. “Y-yes…”

“That’s awesome!”

“Congratulations.” Tsubasa added with a sincere smile. “We’ll look forward to the formal announcement.”

“Thanks…” Maki returned the smile.

“Hey guys.” Eli said, joining the group.

“Eli-chan! Nozomi-chan!” Honoka was getting even more excited now that more of her friends were showing up.

“You two are here as well?” Umi asked.

“We came to help Maki-chan with her shopping.” Nozomi said with a grin. “But we kind of got distracted.” She held up a pair of earrings while Eli held up a brooch.

“If Rin-chan, Hanayo-chan and Nico-chan were here, it would be like a reunion!” Honoka started bouncing again. “I’m going to invite them!” She pulled out her phone.

“W-wait!” Maki suddenly realized the implication. “Not Nico-chan!” She reached out to stop her former group leader.

“Huh?” Honoka’s finger hit send.

Maki closed her eyes. “Never mind…”

“Honoka, you can’t invite Nico.” Umi’s scolding tone returned. “It will ruin the surprise.”

“Oh…” The orange-haired girl pursed her lips. “Uhm… sorry?”

A moment later, several tones sounded as the message was delivered to the entire group.

Wait. Maki blinked. Did she just hear…? No… That couldn’t be…

“We’re safe.” Eli said, checking the message. “It’s just a general invite to have them meet us here at the mall. It doesn’t say anything about the ring.”

“Isn’t Nico-chan heading out on tour today?” Kotori asked.

“Oh yeah, that’s right.” Honoka said sheepishly. “And it’s not a reunion unless we’re all here. I’ll tell them to disregard the invite.” She tapped again at her phone.

“Actually…” Maki was about to point out that Nico’s first part of her tour had just been rescheduled but cut off as the notifications came in again. She blinked again. There was no way she was mistaken. She scanned the area outside the storefront. She quickly spotted a short figure in an oversized trenchcoat, a surgical mask and sunglasses despite being indoors. The figure was frantically fussing with their phone. There was no mistaking it. “Nico-chan…” She uttered.

“What?” Eli asked.

Nozomi giggled.

“Nico-chan!” Maki called, heading for the door.

“Nico-chan is here?” Honoka immediately followed the redhead.

Umi sighed and shook her head.

Tsubasa chuckled.

“They’ll be right back.” Kotori turned to the confused clerk. “I’m pretty sure Maki-chan will want this one.” She referred to the ring still in her hand.

The figure stood up and attempted to make a break for it, but caught their foot on the leg of the table. As the table was bolted to the floor, it did not give an inch, and the figure sprawled to the ground, their phone and sunglasses skittering across the tiled floor.

“Nico-chan!” Maki increased her speed. “Are you alright?!” She quickly knelt by the fallen figure.

“I’m fine, Maki-chan.” Nico crawled up to her hands and knees.

“Are you sure?” The redhead held out a hand.

“Yeah…” The raven-haired girl sighed, finally looking up at her girlfriend. “Thanks…” She accepted the assistance back to her feet.

“What are you doing here?”

“Uhm…”

“How did you know we were…”

“Well…”

“Nozomi…”

“Not just her.” Nico blurted, surprisingly quick to defend her friend. “You as well.”

“Huh?”

Nico chuckled a little. “You’re not exactly subtle, Maki-chan.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve been together for years; even moved in together. And suddenly you tie our ring fingers together, twice, and invite me to go shopping? Nico could easily figure things out from there.”

“Oh…” Maki couldn’t help blushing.

Nico pulled off her mask to reveal a smile. “So did you settle on a ring for me?”

“I think so.” Maki replied, starting to smile as well. “Want to see it?”

“Obviously.” Nico took her girlfriend’s hand and started towards the store.

“Uhm, you dropped these, Nico-chan.” Honoka spoke up, holding out the phone and glasses she had recovered.

“Thanks.” Nico replied, accepting the items.

“So… if Nico-chan is actually here, can I reissue the invite?”

“We’re here, nya!” a voice called from nearby.

“Rin-chan! Hanayo-chan!” Honoka practically shouted.

“We were in the area anyway.” Hanayo explained.

“So we decided to see if you guys were still here.” Rin finished.

“It’s a reunion!” Honoka cheered.

“We’re going to leave you guys out here.” Nico grumbled, continuing towards the store.

“We’re coming! We’re coming!” the older orange-haired girl insisted, grabbing the hands of her two younger friends and dragging them along.

“Hey, Honoka-chan, why are we going into a jewelry store?” Rin asked.

“You’ll see.” Honoka threw a wink over her shoulder.

By the time the group had returned, Eli and Nozomi were back at the birthstone display, this time with Tsubasa and Umi in tow.

“Ah, Maki-chan, you’re back.” Kotori turned and held out the ring she had been holding.

“Is this it?” Nico asked, her eyes widening as her gaze took in the sight.

“Do you like it?” Maki asked quietly.

“It’s amazing.” The twin-tailed girl couldn’t take her eyes off of it. She started reaching for the ring.

Maki swallowed. The surprise was gone, though apparently, had never been there in the first place. Was there a reason to continue to try for the perfect scene? The end result would be the same no matter what, of that she was certain. So why wait? All of her friends were here anyway, and she much preferred them as an audience over a bunch of strangers at a restaurant or wherever.

Without another thought, Maki took the ring before Nico could touch it.

“Wha? Maki-chan?” Nico protested.

Quickly, Maki turned and knelt. “Yazawa Nico.” She turned her gaze up at the girl now standing in front of her. “Would you do me the honor of marrying me?”

Despite knowing it would be coming eventually. Despite dreaming of all the possible scenarios. Despite immediately determining her girlfriend’s intent before her knee hit the ground, Nico couldn’t help but gasp as a hand flew to her mouth. She stared down at Maki, desperately willing herself to say the one word she needed to say in response.

“Nico-chan?” There was some pleading and even a trace of panic in Maki’s voice.

It was enough to shake Nico’s own voice loose. “Yes.” She said, removing her hand. “Oh gods, yes, Maki-chan. Yes, I will marry you.” Her vision started to blur. Geez, was she crying?

The smile that formed on Maki’s face was unlike any other Nico had seen before. The redhead reached up, took Nico’s left hand and slowly slipped the ring on her finger.

“It’s a little big…” Nico observed, out loud, before thinking better of it.

Maki couldn’t help but chuckle a little. “We’ll get it resized. And…” She cleared her throat. “I kind of still need to actually buy it…”

Nico laughed at the absurdity of the situation; being proposed to, in a jewelry store, with a ring that was the wrong size and hadn’t even been purchased. It was all so… surprisingly fitting.

“Congratulations, nya!” A cheerful voice brought both young women back from their own world.

“Wait, wait!” Nico held out a hand as she saw Hanayo about the echo Rin’s statement. “Before you all get to that…” She reached into her purse. “Stand up, Maki-chan.” She commanded, accentuating her words by waving her hand in an upward motion.

“What?” Maki blinked but obeyed the command.

“This is nowhere near what I had planned, but…” Nico mumbled as she knelt. “Nishikino Maki.” She reached up to reveal a small, black box. “Will you marry me?” She opened the lid.

This time it was Maki’s turn to let out her own gasp. “Nico-chan…”

“My name isn’t an answer.” Nico pursed her lips.

“Yes.” Maki nodded quickly.

Nico immediately understood why Maki’s smile had been the way it was a moment ago. “Good.” She found herself saying. “Then let’s get this on you.” She reached up to take her girlfri… no, fiancée’s hand and deftly slipped the ring on her fourth finger. “This one has already been purchased, so it’s good to go.”

“And it fits.” Nozomi pointed out, having appeared practically out of nowhere.

“Yeah, yeah…” Nico made dismissive motions towards her former roommate.

“Is that a princess cut?” Eli inquired.

“A princess cut for my princess, of course.” Nico responded, smirking as she noticed Maki blushing.

“Nico-chan, Maki-chan, your rings match.” Kotori spoke up.

“You’re right.” Eli remarked, looking closer.

Maki blinked. She hadn’t taken a good look at the ring Nico had presented, as she had been too caught up in the emotion of the moment. But she quickly noticed that while a sizable diamond took center stage, small, red gems were inlaid along the entire band.

“Nico-chan, are these…?”

“Rubies.” Nico affirmed. “I know you like red. And it always looks good on you.”

“And it’s your birthstone.”

“That was kind of another reason…” The raven-haired girl admitted.

“Great minds think alike.” Tsubasa stated.

“And fools seldom differ.” Nozomi added.

“What?” Nico balked.

“That’s the rest of the phrase.” The purple-haired girl shrugged.

“It is, but…” Maki sighed.

“But it’s true, is it not?” Nozomi smiled. “Love makes people do foolish things.”

“Like everything that lead up to this?” Honoka asked, motioning to Nico and Maki.

“Exactly.”

“You got that?” Nico raised an eyebrow at the former idol group leader.

“A little, I guess.” The orange-haired girl admitted. “I mean Tsubasa-chan and I just went out and bought our rings together.” She slipped her arm around her fiancée. “We didn’t see a reason for all the secrets and sneaking around and stuff.”

“We both want to get married, so getting engaged was the logical step.” Tsubasa added.

“I think this way worked out fine.” Hanayo offered with a gentle smile.

“Definitely.” Kotori added.

“Agreed.” Umi nodded.

“It was very NicoMaki’ish.” Rin laughed.

Maki closed her eyes and shook her head but couldn’t help laughing a little as well. Nico, on the other hand, gave a swift chop to the cat-like girl’s head.

“You know, I don’t even know my own…” The redhead mused after a moment

“Your own what?” The twin-tailed girl inquired.

“My birthstone.”

“Really, Maki-chan?” Nico furrowed her brow. “You didn’t know your birthstone is a diamond?”

“It is?”

“Yeah. It is.”

“That’s… kind of a… nice coincidence.” Maki continued to admire the ring on her finger.

“Yeah. It is.”

A collective aww from those gathered once again yanked the couple back to the real world.

“Alright, fine, fine.” Nico sighed. “You guys can do your whole congrats thing now.”

Permission granted, eight girls descended on the happy pair. Hugs were given, tears were shed, words of support were spoken, and rings were carefully inspected.

Eventually, with some reluctance, Maki removed the ring from Nico’s finger and returned it to the store clerk. Nico’s official size was measured, the sale was finalized and date was scheduled for final fitting and pickup.

By this time, the other eight girls had collected around the birthstone display. As Eli and Nozomi had already made their own selections, everyone else decided to pick one of their own as well. Then, when Honoka selected an additional item that had Tsubasa’s gem, it didn’t take long for the others to follow suit.

Next, in her persistent efforts to spend time with her favorite people, Honoka suggested they continue their reunion through dinner and into the evening. The others were more than happy to agree, not only as an excuse to hang out with friends, but also to celebrate the newly engaged couple. Naturally, like all µ’s reunions, the night was thoroughly enjoyed by all.

“You know, I think Nozomi was right.” Maki said, holding her left hand out so she could turn it in the light of the bedside lamp.

“Nozomi is right a surprising amount of the time.” Nico replied, crawling into position next to her girlf… no, fiancée… It was going to take a little getting used to that new title. “You’re going to have to be a bit more specific.”

“About fools seldom differing.”

“Oh?”

“We are fools.”

“Well, I don’t know about Maki-chan, but Nico is…”

“I mean we were the last couple to get together.” Maki interrupted. “We were the last to kiss, last to tell the other we loved them, last to move in together. And now last to get engaged.”

“Well then I guess we’ll just have to be the first to get married.”

At that, Maki had to laugh. “I suppose.” She took her eyes off her ring for a moment to look at her fiancée. “Why did we wait so long to do this?”

“I dunno.” Nico shrugged. “Because we’re fools?”

“I suppose…”

“Does it matter? I mean if being with you makes me foolish, then I guess really I am a fool.” Nico grinned. “A happy fool.”

“A happy fool?”

“Very happy.” She propped herself up on her elbow so she could lean over and plant a kiss on the other girl’s cheek.

“I love you Nico-chan.” Maki turned her head a little.

“I love you too, Maki-chan.” Nico leaned again, but this time, captured Maki’s lips.

Almost an hour later, the foolishly happy couple finally pulled the covers over themselves and fell asleep.

Author’s Note Continued: I spent more time researching engagement rings than I ever thought I would at this stage in my life.

For myself? No.

For a possible partner? Of course not.

For a NicoMaki fic I’m writing? Absolutely.

That said, after everything I read, I learned that there is is no “average” when it comes to the engagement ring buying experience. Length of time spent at the store, number of trips to the store, selections online, number of rings tried on, etc. As such, I finally just said to heck with it and only got a few technically specs for Eli’s starting point and just winged the rest.

So is any of this a believable experience? I’ve honestly no idea. If nothing else, I hope it is, at least in the context of the HtHaN setting.

On another note, I love the Birthstone set in SIF.

Edit: Before I forget, the heraldry/monsoon joke was made in How to Remember a Nico in case anyone is reading things out of order.

[silenceisbetterthanbs]

K-pop question tag

I was tagged by @suju-bangtan and @jinilin <3

a. Always post the rules. Answer the questions asked then write 11 new ones.

b. Tag 11 people and link them to the post. Tell the person who tagged you that you’ve answered their questions.

@suju-bangtan:

1) Who is your favorite girl group?

Tough question. I used to love 4minute and 2ne1 but if we’re talking about active groups then it’d be either GFriend, Blackpink or Mamamoo. Dreamcatcher is slowly going up my list too, I really like their style.

2) Who is your favorite boy group?

B.A.P. I just love them and their work so much, all their songs are perfectly crafted in every way, and they’re so lovely, hardworking and talented. They’ve been through so much but they fought together and are still trying, I really admire them.

3) Are there any choreographies that you love the most (from any group)?

I have to answer B.A.P again. I just love their choreographies, I think they’re so complex and well executed. I particularly love Power and One Shot but all of them are amazing, really. There are other incredibly talented groups I love too: GFriend, SHINee, Infinite and BTS, to name a few.

4) Do you prefer when groups release hype songs or when they release chill songs?

Normally I like hype songs better, there are some ballads I love but they’re usually my least favorite songs in an album.

5) What was your favorite debut song (from any group)?

I don’t want to turn this into a B.A.P biased meme buuut I love Warrior lol, I’m not a big fan of the all-blond style but I really love the song and the choreo. My other favorite debut song is Fanfare by SF9, I fell so hard for it, had it on repeat for days.

6) Are there any groups you wish that were not underrated/would get more recognition?

I’m going to write a lengthy answer for this and it might not even make any sense so I apologize in advance lol.

I try not to think too much about this because it’s dangerously close to what I personally consider “bad fan-etiquette”. Doesn’t matter how much someone screams underrated, it’s always a biased opinion. A specific group might be the best thing on earth for me but it doesn’t have to be for the rest of the people, everybody has their own taste and their criteria of what’s important in a group. Not only there’s no real way to objectively rank idols based on how good they are or how popular they deserve to be, but I feel like it shouldn’t matter much anyway. I know there’s a limit of how “nugu” a group can be before they disappear so we all worry and fight hard to make sure our groups are known, but as long as they get by well enough to survive I don’t care too much about awards and number of views or stans. Sadly, that’s not really how you measure talent or professionality (even if some people like think so), let alone how lovely or hardworking they are. And sometimes talent isn’t even relevant, in my opinion, sometimes you just like a group simply because you do and you’re perfectly entitled to. I don’t like forcing anything on anybody and I don’t like putting value where it doesn’t belong.

Stuffy rant said (sorry for that, it’s a topic I’m somewhat passionate about and I couldn’t help it lol), I’m going to answer this question anyway. I personally wish B.A.P and Monsta X had more recognition, in my very biased opinion. B.A.P was on a really good path before everything went to hell because of the lawsuit issue, and I think it’s really unfair because they were brave enough to fight back and they ended up being punished for it. And Monsta X is doing so well and they’re so good but they still haven’t won anything and they think it’s their fault, so it’s frustrating. But there’s nothing I can really do about it besides “doing my part” and buying/streaming/recommending them when asked, so why complain about it.

7) Do you choose your biases or do your biases choose you?

They choose me. I always try to choose and stick to it but it’s inevitable, they come for me hahaha. When I get into a new group I choose the cutest member and go with it, but then I get to know them and usually someone else does something that makes me go ‘who are you and where have you been all my life’.

8) What’s the first Kpop song you heard?

Fantastic Baby by BIGBANG.

9) What made you fall in love with Kpop?

I just love the aesthetics and how professional they are. I was in awe, the way they train for this and how hard they work for every single comeback after they debut. They have to sacrifice so much to become idols, they spend so many uncertain years trying to debut without even knowing if they ever will – and when they do, it’s not like everything is done and they’re going to live in luxury the way popular Western artists do. Being an idol is really hard and the competition is brutal, you never know how long you’re going to be up. It’s amazing, you don’t see this kind of commitment and professionality around here, in my opinion.

10) Do you have an merchandise of your favorite groups?

I do! I’m very picky when it comes to merch but I own several t-shirts/hoodies, lightsticks, photocards and some other goodies.

11) Do you have any song or group recommendations?

You seem to have a very nice taste! I feel like you’re going to know everybody I mention. I saw you just got into SF9, Pentagon and 24K. Do you know MVP? They debuted recently and I love their stuff so far! I also got into Victon recently thanks to Eyez Eyez.

@jinilin:

1) Favorite kpop music video?

Aw man, how am I supposed to choose. I’m going to say B.A.P again, sorry. I love Skydive, 1004 (Angel) and Wake me up, such good videos. I love VIXX’s mvs as well, they’re always so dark and dramatic. I love EXO’s Monster, Monsta X’s All in and BTS’ Run too. I can’t really choose one hahaha.

2) Favorite girl group dance practice?

I love 2ne1 and GFriend’s dance practices. 

3) Favorite boy group dance practice?

Monster by EXO. It’s so artistic, I love it.

4) Who’s your ultimate bias and why?

My ult bias is Bang Yong Guk from B.A.P. Where do I even start. I feel like we’re very similar, he looks introverted and quiet and someone who is very active inside his mind, but who is also funny, quirky and sassy. I feel like I’d feel really comfortable around him. I don’t know how to explain it, he seems to have a nice and calm aura and I feel so at ease with such people (introverted things lol). He’s really smart and socially aware, he doesn’t speak much but every time he does he says the right thing. He’s such a good caretaker, all the boys love him and respect him SO much, I feel like it says a lot about him and how he makes people close to him feel. He’s an amazing person as well, he does so much for other people and gives so much to charity, I feel like we don’t even know half of it but it’s already impressive. He’s so incredibly talented too, he plays such an active part in the creation of their songs and they are always so good (and so is the rest of the work he does under his known pseudonym.) I could go on forever but I won’t do that to you lol basically, he’s an incredibly amazing and gorgeous human being, an amazing leader and a talented artist.

5) Who’s your ultimate bias wrecker?

Most of the people I stan, really. I just love everybody so much, they move up and down on the messy list all the time. They’re all amazing. I guess I’d say the rest of B.A.P if I had to choose, specially Youngjae.

6) Have you ever seen a kpop group live/been to kcon?

I have! I went to KCON LA 2016 and I’ve also seen EXO, GOT7, SHINee, Red Velvet, AOA, FT Island, Tiger JK and Dean live. Amazing experiences, all of them. I’m really hoping they’ll do a KCON in Europe this year.

7) Is there a group you want to see live?

B.A.P! They’re coming to Europe next month but nowhere near me and I can’t take the time to travel far because of work (all the dates are weekdays, WHYYY). I’ve already seen Monsta X and GFriend at KCON but I’d love to go a solo concert, that’d be lovely. I’d love to see BIGBANG, VIXX, BTS (if it’s in a seat far away from the rest of fans), Mamamoo, Highlight and Block B too. Who am I kidding, I’d love to see everybody I stan lol.

8) What was your favorite comeback of 2017 so far?

B.A.P, of course hahaha. I’ve loved many comebacks and debuts actually, obviously Highlight’s “debut” is a close second but I also really liked GOT7, Winner, Day6, Victon, SF9, Teen Top, IMFACT, BTS, CLC, AOA and CNBlue. If we’re talking about debuts, I really liked Dreamcatcher, MVP, Seven O’Clock, Black6ix and UNIT BLACK. I’m probably forgetting a couple debuts/comebacks I loved lol.

9) What upcoming comeback are you looking forward to?

Highlight’s Junhyung is making a solo comeback soon and I’m super excited about it! He’s my BEAST/Highlight bias, and I love his work and rapping style. I’m high key excited about Triple H’s debut too, I love Hyuna and Pentagon so I’m looking forward to see what they come up with!

10) Is there a group that you know of that you want to get into?

I have what I call my “side-children”, it’s basically groups I check out when they come back and occasionally see on my dash but I don’t actively follow. I’d like to get more into them, I don’t know much beyond the music and I wish I did. Groups like KNK, IMFACT, B1A4, 24K or Brave Girls, among others.

11) What’s your favorite kind of album concept? (royalty, cute, gang, elegant, sexy, etc.)

I usually like any concept as long as it’s well done and it fits the group, but I’m not very into cute concepts. I tend to favor dark and aggressive concepts best but I don’t have a favorite, I’m in for anything if they can pull it off successfully.

I didn’t give you straight answers, I’m sorry hahahaha. I just love so many groups, it’s really hard to only choose one. I really tried to keep it small, I swear.

I’m procrastinating at work and I can’t think of anything original to ask so I’m just going to recycle your lovely questions, sorry :P

What made you fall in love with K-pop?

Who’s your ultimate bias and why?

Who’s your ultimate bias wrecker?

Do you choose your biases or do your biases choose you?

What was your favorite debut song (from any group)?

Are there any choreographies that you love the most (from any group)?

Favorite dance practice?

What was your favorite comeback of 2017 so far?

What upcoming comeback are you looking forward to?

Have you ever seen a K-pop group live/been to KCON?

Do you have any song or group recommendations?

I tag: @bumgee, @b-laxk, @lovelyzc, @kirspel, @gotsoulmates, @the-princejinyoung, @daehdream, @tzefoxes (I can’t tag you for some reason :/) and if someone else wants to do it consider yourself tagged!

[networkingdefinition]

Fashion Quotes

Official Website: Fashion Quotes

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• A concert is not a live rendition of our album. It’s a theatrical event. I have fun with my clothes onstage; it’s not a concert you’re seeing, it’s a fashion show. – Freddie Mercury • A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic. – George Bernard Shaw • A good model can advance fashion by ten years. – Yves Saint Laurent • All fashions are charming, or rather relatively charming, each one being a new striving, more or less well conceived, after beauty, an approximate statement of an ideal, the desire for which constantly teases the unsatisfied human mind. – Charles Baudelaire • An Adult faith does not follow the waves of fashion and the latest novelties. – Pope Benedict XVI • And you know, the baby boomers are getting older, and those off the rack clothes are just not fitting right any longer, and so, tailor-made suits are coming back into fashion. – Amy Irving • Art is subject to arbitrary fashion. – Kary Mullis • Art produces ugly things which frequently become more beautiful with time. Fashion, on the other hand, produces beautiful things which always become ugly with time. – Jean Cocteau • As a fashion designer, I was always aware that I was not an artist, because I was creating something that was made to be sold, marketed, used, and ultimately discarded. – Tom Ford

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Fashion', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_fashion').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_fashion img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Be sure what you want and be sure about yourself. Fashion is not just beauty, it’s about good attitude. You have to believe in yourself and be strong. – Adriana Lima • Bravery never goes out of fashion. – William Makepeace Thackeray

[clickbank-storefront-bestselling] • Change of fashion is the tax levied by the industry of the poor on the vanity of the rich. – Nicolas Chamfort • Conformity is the only real fashion crime – Simon Doonan • Don’t be into trends. Don’t make fashion own you, but you decide what you are. – Gianni Versace • Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new. – Henry David Thoreau • Everything in the universe has a purpose. Indeed, the invisible intelligence that flows through everything in a purposeful fashion is also flowing through you. – Wayne Dyer • Fashion anticipates, and elegance is a state of mind … a mirror of the time in which we live, a translation of the future, and should never be static. – Oleg Cassini • Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess. – Edna Woolman Chase • Fashion changes, but style endures. – Coco Chanel • Fashion condemns us to many follies, the greatest is to make oneself its slave. – Napoleon Bonaparte • Fashion exists for women with no taste, etiquette for people with no breeding. – Marie of Romania • Fashion fades, only style remains the same. – Coco Chanel • Fashion for the most part is nothing but the ostentation of riches. – John Locke • Fashion goes round in circles. – Siobhan Fahey • Fashion has to reflect who you are, what you feel at the moment, and where you’re going. – Pharrell Williams • Fashion has two purposes: comfort and love. Beauty comes when fashion succeeds.- Coco Chanel • Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. – Oscar Wilde • Fashion is a language that creates itself in clothes to interpret reality. – Karl Lagerfeld • Fashion is a MUSE, you must seduce her. – Anna Dello Russo • Fashion is a tool… to compete in life outside the home – Mary Quant • Fashion is a tyrant from which nothing frees us. We must suit ourselves to its fantastic tastes. But being compelled to live under its foolish laws, the wise man is never the first to follow, nor the last to keep it. – Blaise Pascal • Fashion is about dreaming and making other people dream. – Donatella Versace • Fashion is about what you look like, which translates to what you would like to be like. – Jean Paul Gaultier • Fashion is all about eventually becoming naked – Rene Konig • Fashion is all about happiness. It’s fun. It’s important. But it’s not medicine. – Donatella Versace • Fashion is an imposition, a reign on freedom. – Golda Meir • Fashion is architecture: it is a matter of proportions. – Coco Chanel • Fashion is as profound and critical a part of the social life of man as sex, and is made up of the same ambivalent mixture of irresistible urges and inevitable taboos. – Rene Konig • Fashion is born by small facts, trends, or even politics, never by trying to make little pleats and furbelows, by trinkets, by clothes easy to copy, or by the shortening or lengthening of a skirt. – Elsa Schiaparelli • Fashion is in a terrible state. An overdose of too much flesh. – Geoffrey Beene • Fashion is in the sky, in the street. – Coco Chanel • Fashion is instant language. – Miuccia Prada • Fashion is like the ashes left behind by the uniquely shaped flames of the fire, the trace alone revealing that a fire actually took place. – Paul de Man • Fashion is made to become unfashionable. – Coco Chanel • Fashion is more usually a gentle progression of revisited ideas. – Bruce Oldfield • Fashion is not frivolous. It is a part of being alive today. – Mary Quant • Fashion is not necessarily about labels. It’s not about brands. It’s about something else that comes from within you. – Ralph Lauren • Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. – Coco Chanel • Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening. – Coco Chanel • Fashion is only the attempt to realize art in living forms and social intercourse. – Francis Bacon • Fashion is something barbarous, for it produces innovation without reason and imitation without benefit. – George Santayana • Fashion is the science of appearance, and it inspires one with the desire to seem rather than to be. – Henry Fielding • Fashion is very important. It is life-enhancing and, like everything that gives pleasure, it is worth doing well. – Vivienne Westwood • Fashion is what one wears oneself. What is unfashionable is what other people wear. – Oscar Wilde • Fashion is what you adopt when you don’t know who you are. – Quentin Crisp • Fashion is what you buy, style is what you do with it – Nicky Hilton • Fashion is what you’re offered four times a year by designers. And style is what you choose. – Lauren Hutton • Fashion seldom interferes with nature without diminishing her grace and efficiency. – Henry Theodore Tuckerman • Fashion should be a form of escapism, and not a form of imprisonment. – Alexander McQueen • Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey. – Ambrose Bierce • Fashion: by which what is really fantastic becomes for a moment the universal. – Oscar Wilde • Fashion–a word which knaves and fools may use, Their knavery and folly to excuse. – Charles Churchill • Fashions fade, style is eternal. – Yves Saint Laurent • Fashions, after all, are only induced epidemics. – George Bernard Shaw • Follow sound business trends, not fashion trends. – Janice Dickinson • He who goes against the fashion is himself its slave – Logan Pearsall Smith • How do you stand out as a fashion ad campaign? By using people off the street it does generate buzz. – Alber Elbaz • I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch. – Gilda Radner • I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year’s fashions. – Lillian Hellman • I don’t do fashion, I AM fashion. – Coco Chanel • I don’t do fashion, I’m fashion – Coco Chanel • I don’t want a politician who’s thinking about fashion for even one millisecond. It’s the same as medical professionals. The idea of a person in a Comme des Garcons humpback dress giving me a colonoscopy is just not groovy. – Simon Doonan • I dress for the image. Not for myself, not for the public, not for fashion, not for men. – Marlene Dietrich • I got to the point where I was sick of fashion again, like I was at the end of high school. – Stephen Sprouse • I have always believed that fashion was not only to make women more beautiful, but also to reassure them, give them confidence. – Yves Saint Laurent • I have no interest whatsoever in being a high-fashion model, nor is it possible – Rachael Leigh Cook • I like fashion to go down to the street, but I can’t accept that it should originate there. – Coco Chanel • I never cared for fashion much, amusing little seams and witty little pleats: it was the girls I liked. – David Bailey • I see that the fashion wears out more apparel than the man. – William Shakespeare • I think it was the right time for me to retire because nowadays tennis is too incredibly fast and you can say that my style tennis went out of fashion. – Jana Novotna • If you are not in fashion, you are nobody. – Lord Chesterfield • I’ll be at charges for a looking-glass And entertain a score or two of tailors To study fashions to adorn my body: Since I am crept in favor with myself, I will maintain it with some little cost. – William Shakespeare • In difficult times, fashion is always outrageous. – Elsa Schiaparelli • It is human nature to think wisely and to act in an absurd fashion. – Anatole France • It is only the modern that ever becomes old-fashioned. – Oscar Wilde • It is the unseen, unforgettable, ultimate accessory of fashion that heralds your arrival and prolongs your departure. – Coco Chanel • It pains me physically to see a woman victimized, rendered pathetic by fashion. – Yves Saint Laurent • It was the fashion of the time, still is, to feel that all actors are neurotic, or they would not be actors. – Gene Tierney • It’s a new era in fashion – there are no rules. – Zac Posen • It’s a new era in fashion – there are no rules. It’s all about the individual and personal style, wearing high-end, low-end, classic labels, and up-and-coming designers all together. – Alexander McQueen • Jeans represent democracy in fashion. – Giorgio Armani • Ladies of Fashion starve their happiness to feed their vanity, and their love to feed their pride. – Charles Caleb Colton • Like poetry, fashion does not state anything. It merely suggests. – Karl Lagerfeld • Love the fun of clothes, not the status of fashion. – Ralph Lauren • My dream was always to be a composer, but fashion came very easily. – Gianni Versace • Never in the history of fashion has so little material been raised so high to reveal so much that needs to be covered so badly. – Cecil Beaton • Nothing is so hideous as an obsolete fashion. – Stendhal • People say it’s really the press who create those soundbites about fashion. That’s what sells magazines and clothes. – Isaac Mizrahi • People say, ‘What do you mean you want to help the world, but you’re so concerned about fashion?’ It’s illegal to be naked. It is something that is extremely important. – Kanye West • People think I’m trying to make a fashion statement because I never wear a bra. It’s really that I’m a tomboy at heart. – Cameron Diaz • Real fashion change comes from real changes in real life. Everything else is just decoration. – Tom Ford • Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves together. – Thomas Carlyle • So soon as a fashion is universal, it is out of date. – Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach • That is the key of this collection, being yourself. Don’t be into trends. Don’t make fashion own you, but you decide what you are, what you want to express by the way you dress and the way to live. – Gianni Versace • The difference between style and fashion is quality. – Giorgio Armani • The goal I seek is to have people refine their style through my clothing without having them become victims of fashion. – Giorgio Armani • The hardest thing in fashion is not to be known for a logo, but to be known for a silhouette. -Giambattista Valli • The novelties of one generation are only the resuscitated fashions of the generation before last. – George Bernard Shaw • The pursuit of Fashion is the attempt of the middle class to co-opt tragedy. In adopting the clothing, speech, and personal habits of those in straitened, dangerous, or pitiful circumstances, the middle class seeks to have what it feels to be the exigent and nonequivocal experiences had by those it emulates. – David Mamet • The secret of fashion is to surprise and never to disappoint. – Edward Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton • The truly fashionable are beyond fashion. – Cecil Beaton • There’s never a new fashion but it’s old. – Geoffrey Chaucer • They know they’re going to look beautiful, and I don’t think women should look like costumes. They shouldn’t look like fashion victims. – Ralph Lauren • Today, fashion is really about sensuality-how a woman feels on the inside. In the ’80s women used suits with exaggerated shoulders and waists to make a strong impression. Women are now more comfortable with themselves and their bodies-they no longer feel the need to hide behind their clothes. – Donna Karan • We don’t need fashion to survive, we just desire it so much. – Marc Jacobs • We live not according to reason, but according to fashion. – Seneca the Younger • What a deformed thief this fashion is. – William Shakespeare • What you wear is how you present yourself to the world, especially today, when human contacts are so quick. Fashion is instant language. – Miuccia Prada • When a person is in fashion, all they do is right. – Lord Chesterfield • When I design and wonder what the point is, I think of someone having a bad time in their life. Maybe they are sad and they wake up and put on something I have made and it makes them feel just a bit better. So, in that sense, fashion is a little help in the life of a person. But only a little. – Miuccia Prada • Women thrive on novelty and are easy meat for the commerce of fashion. Men prefer old pipes and torn jackets. – Anthony Burgess • Women’s fashion is a euphemism for fashion created by men for women. – Andrea Dworkin • You don’t learn style from watching people on a runway. Fashion happens every morning when you wake up. – Shalom Harlow • You either know fashion or you don’t. – Anna Wintour • You know, one had as good be out of the world, as out of the fashion. – Colley Cibber

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[blackkudos]

Jackie Wilson

Jack Leroy "Jackie" Wilson Jr. (June 9, 1934 – January 21, 1984) was an American soul singer-songwriter and performer. A tenor with a four octave vocal range, he was nicknamed "Mr. Excitement", and was important in the transition of rhythm and blues into soul. He was considered a master showman, and one of the most dynamic and influential singers and performers in R&B and rock 'n' roll history. Gaining fame in his early years as a member of the R&B vocal group Billy Ward and His Dominoes, he went solo in 1957 and recorded over 50 hit singles that spanned R&B, pop, soul, doo-wop and easy listening. This included 16 R&B Top 10 hits, including six R&B number ones. On the 

Billboard

 Hot 100, he scored 14 Top 20 Pop hits, six of which made it into the Pop Top 10. On September 29, 1975, while headlining a Dick Clark Oldies Concert, he collapsed on stage from what was later determined to be a massive heart attack, and subsequently slipped into a coma, slowly awakening over a period of 8 months. He remained semi-comatose for the nine years until his death in 1984, at the age of 49. Wilson was an inspiration to Elvis Presley, Bruce Springsteen, James Brown and Michael Jackson to name a few. He was one of the most influential artists of his generation.

A two-time Grammy Hall of Fame Inductee, Wilson was inducted to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1987. In 2004, Rolling Stone magazine ranked Jackie Wilson #69 on their list of the 100 Greatest Artists of All Time.

Early years and career

Jack Leroy Wilson Jr. was born on June 9, 1934, in Detroit, Michigan, the only son of singer-songwriter, Jack Leroy Wilson, Sr. (1903–1983) and Eliza Mae Wilson (1907–1984), as she lost two previous children. Eliza Mae was born on the Billups-Whitfield Place in Columbus, Mississippi. Her parents were Tom and Virginia Ransom. Jackie often visited his family in Columbus and was greatly influenced by the choir at Billups Chapel. Growing up in the rough Detroit area of Highland Park, Wilson joined a gang called the Shakers and often got himself in trouble. Wilson's alcoholic father was frequently absent and usually out of work. Wilson began singing at an early age, accompanying his mother, once a choir singer, to church. In his early teens Jackie joined a quartet, the Ever Ready Gospel Singers, which became a popular feature of churches in the area. Jackie was not religious, but he enjoyed singing; the money he and his group earned from performing usually was spent on cheap wine, which Wilson began drinking at age nine. Jack Sr. and Eliza separated shortly after Jackie turned nine.

Wilson dropped out of high school at the age of 15, having already been sentenced to detention in the Lansing Corrections system for juveniles twice. During his second stint in detention, he learned to box and began competing around the Detroit amateur circuit at the age of 16. His record in the Golden Gloves was 2 and 8. After his mother forced him to quit boxing, Wilson married Freda Hood and became a father at 17. It is estimated that Wilson fathered at least 10 other children prior to getting married, and that he was forced to marry Hood by her father. He gave up boxing for music, first working at Lee's Sensation club as a solo singer, then forming a group called the Falcons (The same Falcons Wilson Pickett was later a part of), that included cousin Levi Stubbs, who later went on to lead the Four Tops (two more of Wilson's cousins, Hubert Johnson and Levi's brother Joe, later became members of the Contours). The other members joined Hank Ballard as part of the Midnighters. including Alonzo Tucker & Billy Davis, who would work with Wilson several years later as a solo artist. Tucker and Wilson collaborated as songwriters on a few songs Wilson recorded.

Jackie was soon discovered by talent agent Johnny Otis, who assigned him to join a group called the Thrillers. That group would later be known as the Royals (who would later evolve into R&B group, the Midnighters, but Wilson wasn't part of the group when it changed its name and signed with King Records). LaVern Baker, Little Willie John, Johnnie Ray and Della Reese were acts managed by Al Green (not to be confused with R&B singer Al Green, nor Albert "Al" Green of the now defunct National Records). Al Green owned two music publishing companies, Pearl Music and Merrimac Music, and Detroit's Flame Show Bar where Wilson met Baker.

After recording his first version of "Danny Boy" and a few other tracks on Dizzy Gillespie's record label Dee Gee Records under the name Sonny Wilson (his nickname), Wilson was eventually hired by Billy Ward in 1953 to join a group Ward formed in 1950 called the Dominoes, after Wilson's successful audition to replace the immensely popular Clyde McPhatter, who left the Dominoes and formed his own group, the Drifters. Wilson almost blew his chance that day, showing up calling himself "Shit" Wilson and bragging about being a better singer than McPhatter.

Billy Ward felt a stage name would fit the Dominoes' image, hence Jackie Wilson. Prior to leaving the Dominoes, McPhatter coached Wilson on the sound Billy Ward wanted for his group, influencing Wilson's singing style and stage presence. "I learned a lot from Clyde, that high-pitched choke he used and other things...Clyde McPhatter was my man. Clyde and Billy Ward." Forties blues singer Roy Brown was also a major influence on him, and Wilson grew up listening to the Mills Brothers, the Ink Spots, Louis Jordan and Al Jolson.

Wilson was the group's lead singer for three years, but the Dominoes lost some of their stride with the departure of McPhatter. They were able to make appearances riding on the strength of the group's earlier hits, until 1956 when the Dominoes recorded Wilson with an unlikely interpretation of the pop hit "St. Therese of the Roses", giving the Dominoes another brief moment in the spotlight (Their only other post-McPhatter/Wilson successes were "Stardust", released July 15, 1957, and "Deep Purple", released October 7, 1957.) In 1957 Wilson set out to begin a solo career, leaving the Dominoes and collaborating with cousin Levi and got work at Detroit's Flame Show Bar. Later, Al Green worked out a deal with Decca Records, and Wilson was signed to their subsidiary label, Brunswick.

Solo stardom

Shortly after Wilson signed a solo contract with Brunswick, Green suddenly died. Green's business partner, Nat Tarnopol, took over as Wilson's manager (and later rose to president of Brunswick). Wilson's first single was released, "Reet Petite" from the album He's So Fine, which became a modest R&B success (and many years later, an international smash hit). The song was written by another former boxer, Berry Gordy Jr., who co-wrote it with partner Roquel "Billy" Davis (who also went by the pseudonym Tyran Carlo) and Gordy's sister Gwendolyn. The trio composed and produced six further singles for Wilson, which included "To Be Loved", "I'm Wanderin'", "We Have Love", "That's Why (I Love You So)", "I'll Be Satisfied" and his late-1958 signature song, "Lonely Teardrops", which peaked at No. 7 on the pop charts, No. 1 on the R&B charts in the U.S., and established him as an R&B superstar known for his extraordinary, operatic multi-octave vocal range. "Lonely Teardrops" sold over one million copies, and was awarded a gold disc by the RIAA.

Due to his fervor when performing, with his dynamic dance moves, singing and impeccable dress, he was soon christened "Mr. Excitement", a title he would keep for the remainder of his career. His stagecraft in his live shows inspired James Brown, Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley, as well as a host of other artists that followed. Presley was so impressed with Wilson that he made it a point to meet him, and the two instantly became good friends. In a photo of the two posing together, Presley's caption in the autograph reads "You got you a friend for life." Wilson was sometimes called "The Black Elvis". Reportedly, when asked about this Presley said, "I guess that makes me the white Jackie Wilson." Wilson also said he was influenced by Presley too, saying "A lot of people have accused Elvis of stealing the black man's music, when in fact, almost every black solo entertainer copied his stage mannerisms from Elvis."

Wilson's powerful, electrifying live performances rarely failed to bring audiences to a state of frenzy. His live performances consisted of knee-drops, splits, spins, back-flips, one-footed across-the-floor slides, removing his tie and jacket and throwing them off the stage, a lot of basic boxing steps (advance and retreat shuffling) and one of his favorite routines, getting some of the less attractive girls in the audience to come up and kiss him. "If I kiss the ugliest girl in the audience," Wilson often said, "they'll all think they can have me and keep coming back and buying my records." Having women come up to kiss him is one reason Wilson kept bottles of mouthwash in his dressing room. Another reason was probably his attempt to hide the alcohol on his breath.

Wilson was also a regular on TV, making regular appearances on such shows as The Ed Sullivan Show, American Bandstand, Shindig, Shivaree and Hullabaloo. His only movie appearance was in the forgettable rock and roll film "Go Johnny Go", where he performed his 1959 hit song "You Better Know It".

In 1958, Davis and Gordy left Wilson and Brunswick after royalty disputes escalated between them and Nat Tarnopol. Davis soon became a successful staff songwriter and producer for Chess Records, while Gordy borrowed $800 from his family and used money he earned from royalties writing for Wilson to start his own recording studio, Hitsville USA, the foundation of Motown Records in his native Detroit. Meanwhile, convinced that Wilson could venture out of R&B and rock and roll, Tarnopol had the singer record operatic ballads and easy listening material, pairing him with Decca Records' veteran arranger Dick Jacobs.

Wilson scored hits as he entered the 1960s with the No. 15 "Doggin' Around", the No. 1 pop ballad "Night", another million-seller, and "Baby Workout", another Top 10 hit (No. 5), which he composed with Midnighters member Alonzo Tucker. His songwriting alliance with Tucker also turned out other songs, including "No Pity (In The Naked City)" and "I'm So Lonely." Top 10 hits continued with "Alone At Last" (No. 8 in 1960) and "My Empty Arms" (No. 9 in 1961).

Also in 1961, Wilson recorded a tribute album to Al Jolson, Nowstalgia ... You Ain't Heard Nothin' Yet, which included the only album liner notes he ever wrote: "... to the greatest entertainer of this or any other era ... I guess I have just about every recording he's ever made, and I rarely missed listening to him on the radio ... During the three years I've been making records, I've had the ambition to do an album of songs, which, to me, represent the great Jolson heritage ... This is simply my humble tribute to the one man I admire most in this business ... to keep the heritage of Jolson alive." The album was a commercial failure.

Following the success of "Baby Workout", Wilson experienced a lull in his career between 1964 and 1966 as Tarnopol and Brunswick Records released a succession of unsuccessful albums and singles. Despite the lack of sales success, he still made artistic gains as he recorded an album with Count Basie, as well as a series of duets with rhythm and blues legend Lavern Baker and gospel singer Linda Hopkins.

In 1966, he scored the first of two big comeback singles with established Chicago soul producer Carl Davis with "Whispers (Gettin' Louder)" and "(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher", a No. 6 Pop smash in 1967, which became one of his final pop hits. This was followed by "I Get the Sweetest Feeling", which, despite its modest initial chart success in the US (Billboard Pop #34), has since become one of his biggest international chart successes, becoming a Top 10 hit in the UK twice, in 1972 and in 1987, and a Top 20 hit in the Dutch Top 40, and has spawned numerous cover versions by other artists such as Edwin Starr, Will Young, Erma Franklin (Aretha's sister) and Liz McClarnon.

A key to his musical rebirth was that Davis insisted that Wilson no longer record with Brunswick's musicians in New York; instead, he would record with legendary Detroit musicians normally employed by Motown Records and also Davis' own Chicago-based session players. The Detroit musicians, known as the Funk Brothers, participated on Wilson's recordings due to their respect for Davis and Wilson.

By 1975, Wilson and the Chi-Lites were the only significant artists left on Brunswick's roster. Wilson had continued to record singles that found success on the R&B chart, but found no significant pop chart success. His final hit, "You Got Me Walkin'", written by Eugene Record of the Chi-Lites, was released in 1972 with the Chi-Lites backing him on vocals and instruments.

Personal life

Wilson's personal life was laced with tragedy. In 1960 in New Orleans, he was arrested and charged with assaulting a police officer when fans tried to climb on stage. He assaulted a policeman who had shoved one of the fans. Wilson had a reputation for being short-tempered.

On February 15, 1961, in Manhattan, Wilson was injured in a shooting. It is said the real story behind this incident is that one of his girlfriends, Juanita Jones, shot and wounded him in a jealous rage when he returned to his Manhattan apartment with another woman, fashion model Harlean Harris, an ex-girlfriend of Sam Cooke's. Wilson's management supposedly concocted a story to protect Wilson's reputation; that Jones was an obsessed fan who had threatened to shoot herself, and that Wilson's intervention resulted in him being shot. Wilson was shot in the stomach: The bullet would result in the loss of a kidney, and lodged too close to his spine to be operated on. In early 1975, during an interview with author Arnold Shaw, Wilson maintained it actually was a zealous fan whom he did not know that shot him. "We also had some trouble in 1961. That was when some crazy chick took a shot at me and nearly put me away for good..." The story of the zealous fan was accepted, and no charges were brought against Jones. A month and a half later after the shooting incident, Jackie was discharged from the hospital.

At the time Jackie had declared annual earnings of $263,000, while the average salary a man earned then was just $5,000 a year. But he discovered that, despite being at the peak of success, he was broke. Around this time the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) seized Jackie's Detroit family home. Tarnopol and his accountants were supposed to take care of such matters. Fortunately, Jackie made arrangements with the IRS to make restitution on the unpaid taxes; he also re-purchased the family home at auction. As far as money troubles went, this was not even the beginning for Wilson. Nat Tarnopol had taken advantage of Wilson's naïveté, mismanaging his money since becoming his manager. Tarnopol also had power-of-attorney over Wilson's finances, giving him complete control over Wilson's money. Unfortunately, Wilson was a rather trusting soul, trusting people he shouldn't have like Tarnopol and some of Wilson's other managers.

Tarnopol and 18 other Brunswick executives were indicted on federal charges of mail fraud and tax evasion stemming from bribery and payola scandals in 1975. Also in the indictment was the charge that Tarnopol owed at least $1 million in royalties to Wilson. In 1976 Tarnopol and the others were found guilty; an appeals court overturned their conviction 18 months later. Although the conviction was overturned, judges went into detail, outlining that Tarnopol and Brunswick Records did defraud their artists of royalties, and that they were satisfied that there was sufficient evidence for Wilson to file a lawsuit. However, a trial to sue Tarnopol for royalties never took place, as Wilson lay in a nursing home semi-comatose. Tarnopol never paid Wilson monies he had coming to him, and Wilson died riddled with debt to the IRS and Brunswick Records.

One of the highlights of the federal tax fraud trial of Tarnopol and several Brunswick executives came when Eugene Record of The Chi-Lites testified that he had been assaulted during a contract negotiation at Brunswick's New York office. Record stated that he asked Tarnopol for advanced money on a recording in 1972 when an associate of Tarnopol's, whom Record identified as Johnny Roberts, asked Tarnopol "should I twist his nose off?" Before any answer came, Record said Roberts "suddenly began to twist my nose, and when I pushed his arm away he punched me in the face, knocking my glasses off." A similar story concerns Wilson, who reportedly was hung out of Tarnopol's office window by his feet when Wilson asked about money, according to Chuck Barksdale of The Dells.

In March 1967, Wilson and friend/drummer Jimmy Smith were arrested in South Carolina on "morals charges"; the two were entertaining two 24-year-old white women in their motel room.

Freda Hood, Wilson's first wife, with whom he had four children, divorced him in 1965 after 14 years of marriage, frustrated with his notorious womanizing. Although the divorce was amicable, Freda would regret her decision. His 16-year-old son, Jackie Jr, was shot and killed on a neighbor's porch in 1970. The death of Jackie Jr. devastated Wilson. He sank into a period of depression, and for the next couple of years remained mostly a recluse.

More tragedy hit when two of Wilson's daughters died at a young age. His daughter Sandra died in 1977 at the age of 24 of an apparent heart attack. Jacqueline Wilson was killed in 1988 in a drug-related incident in Highland Park, Michigan. Wilson's second marriage was to model Harlean Harris in 1967 with whom he had three children, but they too separated in 1970. Wilson later met and lived with Lynn Guidry, a woman who would have two children with him. There was also a woman named Joyce McCrae, a fan who tried to take the role of Wilson's caregiver while he was in the nursing home. He was with Guidry, who was under the impression that she was his legal wife, until his heart attack in 1975. However, as he and Harris never officially divorced, Harris took the role of Wilson's caregiver for the singer's remaining nine years.

Wilson converted to Judaism as an adult.

Death

On September 29, 1975, Wilson was one of the featured acts in Dick Clark's Good Ol' Rock and Roll Revue, hosted by the Latin Casino in Cherry Hill, New Jersey. He was in the middle of singing "Lonely Teardrops" when he suffered a heart attack. When he collapsed on stage, audience members initially thought it was part of the act. Clark sensed something was wrong, then ordered the musicians to stop the music. Cornell Gunter of the Coasters, who was backstage, noticed Wilson was not breathing. Gunter was able to resuscitate him and Wilson was then rushed to a nearby hospital.

Medical personnel worked to stabilize his vital signs, but the lack of oxygen to his brain caused him to slip into a coma. He briefly recovered in early 1976, and was even able to take a few wobbly steps but slipped back into a semi-comatose state. He was deemed conscious but incapacitated in early June 1976, unable to speak but aware of his surroundings. He was a resident of the Medford Leas Retirement Center in Medford, New Jersey, when he was admitted into Memorial Hospital of Burlington County in Mount Holly, New Jersey, due to having trouble taking nourishment, according to Wilson's attorney John Mulkerin.

Jackie Wilson died on January 21, 1984, at age 49 from complications of pneumonia. He was initially buried in an unmarked grave at Westlawn Cemetery near Detroit. In 1987, a fundraiser by a Detroit radio station collected enough money to purchase a headstone.

Tributes and legacy

On August 17, 2013 in Cleveland, Ohio, Jackie Wilson was inducted into the Official R&B Music Hall of Fame.

In 1985, the Commodores recorded "Nightshift" in memory of Wilson and soul singer Marvin Gaye, who had both died in 1984. Reaching No. 1 R&B and No. 3 pop in the U.S., and topping the Dutch singles chart, it was the group's biggest hit after the departure of Lionel Richie.

Van Morrison recorded a tribute song called "Jackie Wilson Said (I'm in Heaven When You Smile)" on his 1972 album Saint Dominic's Preview. This was later covered by Dexy's Midnight Runners. When the track was performed on the British TV show Top of the Pops, a picture of darts player Jocky Wilson was used instead. This has often been speculated to be a mistake but Dexy's frontman Kevin Rowland stated that it was a deliberate joke by the band.

Michael Jackson honored Jackie Wilson at the 1984 Grammy Awards. Jackson dedicated his Album of the Year Grammy for Thriller to Wilson, saying, "In the entertainment business, there are leaders and there are followers. And I just want to say that I think Jackie Wilson was a wonderful entertainer...Jackie, where you are I want to say I love you and thank you so much."

Until Jackson's comments, Wilson's recording legacy had been dormant for almost a decade. Tarnopol owned Wilson's recordings due to Brunswick's separation from MCA, but the label had closed down, essentially deleting Wilson's considerable recorded legacy. When Jackson praised Wilson at the Grammys, interest in the legendary singer stirred, and Tarnopol released the first Wilson album (a two-record compilation) in almost nine years through Epic Records, Jackson's label at the time. Through Tarnopol's son, Wilson's music has become more available.

In the VH-1 5-part television special, Say It Loud: A Celebration of Black Music in America, fellow Rock and Roll Hall of Famers Smokey Robinson and Bobby Womack both paid tribute to Wilson. Smokey explained that "Jackie Wilson was the most dynamic singer and performer that I think I've ever seen. Bobby added "He was the real Elvis Presley, as far as I'm concerned...and Elvis took a lot from him too."

In his autobiography To Be Loved (named for one of the hit tunes he wrote for Wilson) Motown founder Berry Gordy stated that Wilson was "The greatest singer I've ever heard. The epitome of natural greatness. Unfortunately for some, he set the standard I'd be looking for in singers forever".

Wilson is mentioned in the song "Gone But Not Forgotten" sung by artist TQ, which is a song dedicated to the memory of famous musicians who have died. The lyric goes "..and Jackie, will you teach me how to glide across the stage?"

Wilson is mentioned in the rap song "Thugz Mansion" by 2Pac. The lyric is:

Wilson scored a posthumous hit when "Reet Petite" reached number one in the United Kingdom, Ireland and the Netherlands in 1986. This success was likely due in part to a new animated video made for the song, featuring a clay model of Wilson, that became popular on television. The following year he hit the UK charts again with "I Get the Sweetest Feeling" (No. 3), and "(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher" (No. 15).

Rita Coolidge covered "Higher and Higher" in 1977; her version reached No. 2 on the US pop charts, earning a gold record.

In 1999, Wilson's original version of "Higher and Higher" and "Lonely Teardrops" were inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame; both are on Rolling Stone magazine's list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.

Wilson was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1987; that same year, he was portrayed in the Ritchie Valens biopic La Bamba by Howard Huntsberry.

Wilson is referenced in the 1986 song "R.O.C.K. in the U.S.A." by John Mellencamp.

Wilson and "Lonely Teardrops" are referenced in the 1993 song "Jupiter and Teardrop" by Grant Lee Buffalo on their debut album Fuzzy.

In 1988, his version of "To Be Loved" was featured in the film Coming to America, when Akeem and Lisa were falling in love. Akeem (Eddie Murphy) later came back home singing the song loudly, waking up and infuriating his neighbors.

In 1989, "Higher and Higher" was featured in the film Ghostbusters II, the soundtrack album of which featured a cover version of the song by Howard Huntsberry. "Higher and higher" was also featured in Eddie Murphy's 2007 movie "Norbit."

"(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher" was also featured in the 2000 Disney film "Disney's The Kid".

In 1992, Wilson was portrayed in the ABC miniseries by Grady Harrell in The Jacksons: An American Dream.

In 1994, Monkee Peter Tork recorded a bluegrass-rock cover of "Higher and Higher" on his first solo album Stranger Things Have Happened. Tork regularly performs the song in concert.

In 2007, Wilson's music was featured in a film adaptation of Irvine Welsh's book Ecstasy: Three Tales of Chemical Romance.

In September 2010, Wilson's song "That's Why (I Love You So)" appeared on Dick Clark's Dick Clark's Rock, Roll and Remember.

On November 18, 2011, the Black Ensemble Theater of Chicago produced a musical about Wilson's life.

In 2014, artist Hozier released a song titled "Jackie and Wilson", a play on Wilson's name. The song includes the lyrics "We'll name our children Jackie and Wilson and raise them on rhythm and blues."

The Jackie Wilson Hologram Tour 2017 announced by Hologram USA on Billboard:

"Seen a show with Marvin Gaye last night, It had me shook, sippin' peppermint schnapps With Jackie Wilson, and Sam Cooke."

The singer behind ‘Higher and Higher’ and other hits joins the growing Hologram USA roster.

Add another name to the growing list of artist recreations by Hologram USA: Jackie Wilson. The R&B legend will star in a full stage show with a tour launching in 2017, co-produced by FilmOn TV Networks and distributed online by FilmOn.com. Nicknamed Mr. Excitement, Wilson was a dynamic entertainer whose mesmerizing dance moves and pioneering crossover success influenced a host of future stars including Michael Jackson. In fact, after Thriller won the Grammy for album of the year in 1984, Jackson dedicated his award to Wilson.

Between 1958 and 1970, Wilson charted 16 top 10 R&B hits and six top 10 pop hits. He topped the R&B singles chart six times, starting with 1958's "Lonely Teardrops" (No. 7 on pop). The Detroit native's additional No. 1's included "You Better Know It," "Doggin’ Around," "A Woman, a Lover, a Friend," "Baby Workout" and radio perennial "(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher." Wilson, inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, slipped into a coma after collapsing onstage in 1975. He died in 1984.

In a statement announcing Hologram USA's latest artist recreation, CEO Alki David said, "Everything you expect from an exciting ‘rock star’ stage show was invented by Jackie Wilson: the leaps, spins and back-flips, not to mention his amazing four-octave range." David's partners in mounting the new show are Plateau Music Nashville CEO Tony Mantor, who is the Artist Manager for Bobby Brooks Wilson (son of Jackie) and the Heirs of Jackie Wilson.

A ceremony was held on Saturday, August 20, 2016 at WHPR TV & Radio. At the ceremony, Cottage Grove Street officially became Jackie Wilson Lane.

Wikipedia

[equitiesstocks]

Fashion Quotes

Official Website: Fashion Quotes

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• A concert is not a live rendition of our album. It’s a theatrical event. I have fun with my clothes onstage; it’s not a concert you’re seeing, it’s a fashion show. – Freddie Mercury • A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic. – George Bernard Shaw • A good model can advance fashion by ten years. – Yves Saint Laurent • All fashions are charming, or rather relatively charming, each one being a new striving, more or less well conceived, after beauty, an approximate statement of an ideal, the desire for which constantly teases the unsatisfied human mind. – Charles Baudelaire • An Adult faith does not follow the waves of fashion and the latest novelties. – Pope Benedict XVI • And you know, the baby boomers are getting older, and those off the rack clothes are just not fitting right any longer, and so, tailor-made suits are coming back into fashion. – Amy Irving • Art is subject to arbitrary fashion. – Kary Mullis • Art produces ugly things which frequently become more beautiful with time. Fashion, on the other hand, produces beautiful things which always become ugly with time. – Jean Cocteau • As a fashion designer, I was always aware that I was not an artist, because I was creating something that was made to be sold, marketed, used, and ultimately discarded. – Tom Ford

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Fashion', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_fashion').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_fashion img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Be sure what you want and be sure about yourself. Fashion is not just beauty, it’s about good attitude. You have to believe in yourself and be strong. – Adriana Lima • Bravery never goes out of fashion. – William Makepeace Thackeray

[clickbank-storefront-bestselling] • Change of fashion is the tax levied by the industry of the poor on the vanity of the rich. – Nicolas Chamfort • Conformity is the only real fashion crime – Simon Doonan • Don’t be into trends. Don’t make fashion own you, but you decide what you are. – Gianni Versace • Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new. – Henry David Thoreau • Everything in the universe has a purpose. Indeed, the invisible intelligence that flows through everything in a purposeful fashion is also flowing through you. – Wayne Dyer • Fashion anticipates, and elegance is a state of mind … a mirror of the time in which we live, a translation of the future, and should never be static. – Oleg Cassini • Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess. – Edna Woolman Chase • Fashion changes, but style endures. – Coco Chanel • Fashion condemns us to many follies, the greatest is to make oneself its slave. – Napoleon Bonaparte • Fashion exists for women with no taste, etiquette for people with no breeding. – Marie of Romania • Fashion fades, only style remains the same. – Coco Chanel • Fashion for the most part is nothing but the ostentation of riches. – John Locke • Fashion goes round in circles. – Siobhan Fahey • Fashion has to reflect who you are, what you feel at the moment, and where you’re going. – Pharrell Williams • Fashion has two purposes: comfort and love. Beauty comes when fashion succeeds.- Coco Chanel • Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. – Oscar Wilde • Fashion is a language that creates itself in clothes to interpret reality. – Karl Lagerfeld • Fashion is a MUSE, you must seduce her. – Anna Dello Russo • Fashion is a tool… to compete in life outside the home – Mary Quant • Fashion is a tyrant from which nothing frees us. We must suit ourselves to its fantastic tastes. But being compelled to live under its foolish laws, the wise man is never the first to follow, nor the last to keep it. – Blaise Pascal • Fashion is about dreaming and making other people dream. – Donatella Versace • Fashion is about what you look like, which translates to what you would like to be like. – Jean Paul Gaultier • Fashion is all about eventually becoming naked – Rene Konig • Fashion is all about happiness. It’s fun. It’s important. But it’s not medicine. – Donatella Versace • Fashion is an imposition, a reign on freedom. – Golda Meir • Fashion is architecture: it is a matter of proportions. – Coco Chanel • Fashion is as profound and critical a part of the social life of man as sex, and is made up of the same ambivalent mixture of irresistible urges and inevitable taboos. – Rene Konig • Fashion is born by small facts, trends, or even politics, never by trying to make little pleats and furbelows, by trinkets, by clothes easy to copy, or by the shortening or lengthening of a skirt. – Elsa Schiaparelli • Fashion is in a terrible state. An overdose of too much flesh. – Geoffrey Beene • Fashion is in the sky, in the street. – Coco Chanel • Fashion is instant language. – Miuccia Prada • Fashion is like the ashes left behind by the uniquely shaped flames of the fire, the trace alone revealing that a fire actually took place. – Paul de Man • Fashion is made to become unfashionable. – Coco Chanel • Fashion is more usually a gentle progression of revisited ideas. – Bruce Oldfield • Fashion is not frivolous. It is a part of being alive today. – Mary Quant • Fashion is not necessarily about labels. It’s not about brands. It’s about something else that comes from within you. – Ralph Lauren • Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. – Coco Chanel • Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening. – Coco Chanel • Fashion is only the attempt to realize art in living forms and social intercourse. – Francis Bacon • Fashion is something barbarous, for it produces innovation without reason and imitation without benefit. – George Santayana • Fashion is the science of appearance, and it inspires one with the desire to seem rather than to be. – Henry Fielding • Fashion is very important. It is life-enhancing and, like everything that gives pleasure, it is worth doing well. – Vivienne Westwood • Fashion is what one wears oneself. What is unfashionable is what other people wear. – Oscar Wilde • Fashion is what you adopt when you don’t know who you are. – Quentin Crisp • Fashion is what you buy, style is what you do with it – Nicky Hilton • Fashion is what you’re offered four times a year by designers. And style is what you choose. – Lauren Hutton • Fashion seldom interferes with nature without diminishing her grace and efficiency. – Henry Theodore Tuckerman • Fashion should be a form of escapism, and not a form of imprisonment. – Alexander McQueen • Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey. – Ambrose Bierce • Fashion: by which what is really fantastic becomes for a moment the universal. – Oscar Wilde • Fashion–a word which knaves and fools may use, Their knavery and folly to excuse. – Charles Churchill • Fashions fade, style is eternal. – Yves Saint Laurent • Fashions, after all, are only induced epidemics. – George Bernard Shaw • Follow sound business trends, not fashion trends. – Janice Dickinson • He who goes against the fashion is himself its slave – Logan Pearsall Smith • How do you stand out as a fashion ad campaign? By using people off the street it does generate buzz. – Alber Elbaz • I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch. – Gilda Radner • I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year’s fashions. – Lillian Hellman • I don’t do fashion, I AM fashion. – Coco Chanel • I don’t do fashion, I’m fashion – Coco Chanel • I don’t want a politician who’s thinking about fashion for even one millisecond. It’s the same as medical professionals. The idea of a person in a Comme des Garcons humpback dress giving me a colonoscopy is just not groovy. – Simon Doonan • I dress for the image. Not for myself, not for the public, not for fashion, not for men. – Marlene Dietrich • I got to the point where I was sick of fashion again, like I was at the end of high school. – Stephen Sprouse • I have always believed that fashion was not only to make women more beautiful, but also to reassure them, give them confidence. – Yves Saint Laurent • I have no interest whatsoever in being a high-fashion model, nor is it possible – Rachael Leigh Cook • I like fashion to go down to the street, but I can’t accept that it should originate there. – Coco Chanel • I never cared for fashion much, amusing little seams and witty little pleats: it was the girls I liked. – David Bailey • I see that the fashion wears out more apparel than the man. – William Shakespeare • I think it was the right time for me to retire because nowadays tennis is too incredibly fast and you can say that my style tennis went out of fashion. – Jana Novotna • If you are not in fashion, you are nobody. – Lord Chesterfield • I’ll be at charges for a looking-glass And entertain a score or two of tailors To study fashions to adorn my body: Since I am crept in favor with myself, I will maintain it with some little cost. – William Shakespeare • In difficult times, fashion is always outrageous. – Elsa Schiaparelli • It is human nature to think wisely and to act in an absurd fashion. – Anatole France • It is only the modern that ever becomes old-fashioned. – Oscar Wilde • It is the unseen, unforgettable, ultimate accessory of fashion that heralds your arrival and prolongs your departure. – Coco Chanel • It pains me physically to see a woman victimized, rendered pathetic by fashion. – Yves Saint Laurent • It was the fashion of the time, still is, to feel that all actors are neurotic, or they would not be actors. – Gene Tierney • It’s a new era in fashion – there are no rules. – Zac Posen • It’s a new era in fashion – there are no rules. It’s all about the individual and personal style, wearing high-end, low-end, classic labels, and up-and-coming designers all together. – Alexander McQueen • Jeans represent democracy in fashion. – Giorgio Armani • Ladies of Fashion starve their happiness to feed their vanity, and their love to feed their pride. – Charles Caleb Colton • Like poetry, fashion does not state anything. It merely suggests. – Karl Lagerfeld • Love the fun of clothes, not the status of fashion. – Ralph Lauren • My dream was always to be a composer, but fashion came very easily. – Gianni Versace • Never in the history of fashion has so little material been raised so high to reveal so much that needs to be covered so badly. – Cecil Beaton • Nothing is so hideous as an obsolete fashion. – Stendhal • People say it’s really the press who create those soundbites about fashion. That’s what sells magazines and clothes. – Isaac Mizrahi • People say, ‘What do you mean you want to help the world, but you’re so concerned about fashion?’ It’s illegal to be naked. It is something that is extremely important. – Kanye West • People think I’m trying to make a fashion statement because I never wear a bra. It’s really that I’m a tomboy at heart. – Cameron Diaz • Real fashion change comes from real changes in real life. Everything else is just decoration. – Tom Ford • Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves together. – Thomas Carlyle • So soon as a fashion is universal, it is out of date. – Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach • That is the key of this collection, being yourself. Don’t be into trends. Don’t make fashion own you, but you decide what you are, what you want to express by the way you dress and the way to live. – Gianni Versace • The difference between style and fashion is quality. – Giorgio Armani • The goal I seek is to have people refine their style through my clothing without having them become victims of fashion. – Giorgio Armani • The hardest thing in fashion is not to be known for a logo, but to be known for a silhouette. -Giambattista Valli • The novelties of one generation are only the resuscitated fashions of the generation before last. – George Bernard Shaw • The pursuit of Fashion is the attempt of the middle class to co-opt tragedy. In adopting the clothing, speech, and personal habits of those in straitened, dangerous, or pitiful circumstances, the middle class seeks to have what it feels to be the exigent and nonequivocal experiences had by those it emulates. – David Mamet • The secret of fashion is to surprise and never to disappoint. – Edward Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton • The truly fashionable are beyond fashion. – Cecil Beaton • There’s never a new fashion but it’s old. – Geoffrey Chaucer • They know they’re going to look beautiful, and I don’t think women should look like costumes. They shouldn’t look like fashion victims. – Ralph Lauren • Today, fashion is really about sensuality-how a woman feels on the inside. In the ’80s women used suits with exaggerated shoulders and waists to make a strong impression. Women are now more comfortable with themselves and their bodies-they no longer feel the need to hide behind their clothes. – Donna Karan • We don’t need fashion to survive, we just desire it so much. – Marc Jacobs • We live not according to reason, but according to fashion. – Seneca the Younger • What a deformed thief this fashion is. – William Shakespeare • What you wear is how you present yourself to the world, especially today, when human contacts are so quick. Fashion is instant language. – Miuccia Prada • When a person is in fashion, all they do is right. – Lord Chesterfield • When I design and wonder what the point is, I think of someone having a bad time in their life. Maybe they are sad and they wake up and put on something I have made and it makes them feel just a bit better. So, in that sense, fashion is a little help in the life of a person. But only a little. – Miuccia Prada • Women thrive on novelty and are easy meat for the commerce of fashion. Men prefer old pipes and torn jackets. – Anthony Burgess • Women’s fashion is a euphemism for fashion created by men for women. – Andrea Dworkin • You don’t learn style from watching people on a runway. Fashion happens every morning when you wake up. – Shalom Harlow • You either know fashion or you don’t. – Anna Wintour • You know, one had as good be out of the world, as out of the fashion. – Colley Cibber

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[iswearimtoooldforthis]

I’m way beyond feeling like I’m a broken record...

Where to start... First things first. Back at the end of March I had to walk away from coaching and managing the new women’s football team here in Sacramento due to poor ownership. It was extremely hard for me to do because I felt like I was letting down my players but it was just an unhealthy situation and my gut told me it was the right thing to do. Turns out my gut was right because the team folded after only 2 games. I still keep in touch with most of my players which brings me to part of why I am starting to feel like a broken record... 

I know I am different. I’m not a “typical” female by any means. It has also taken me almost all of my life to finally be like “Fuck It” I don’t care what others think, I’m going to be true to myself and who I know I am as a person. With that being said, I’ve recently needed to explain my sexual orientation and how I identify repeatedly over the last few months. I’ve even been given a new term of endearment which is “Gaydar Killer” and I honestly find it quite a bit confusing as I do funny because after 26 years, I thought I had heard them all (oh, and there is a list). As always, I make no apologies for who I am or the things I have done in my life. I own every decision/choice I’ve made, good, bad, or indifferent. Most of my close friends are very aware of this and know that I have no reason to lie about anything but most of all, which sexual orientation I identify with. Trust me I completely get where the confusion comes from. I’m not an idiot. I know that the way that I look, dress and present myself falls into a typical stereotype. I’ve said it before in earlier posts. It doesn’t offend me. I’m flattered when a woman hits on me. Unfortunately, I have honestly never felt real sexual attraction toward any female in my life (except for a few times when I thought they were guys but we will get to that later). I think women are beautiful, gorgeous even, and I’ve been jealous of some of their bodies but I’ve never felt that sudden flush, butterflies in the tummy, or the ache to be with a woman. Please, don’t say “You won’t know unless you try” because I have and all the times I tried, I just felt like I was going through the motions or better yet, like I was acting in some sort of play or movie disguised as my life. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done the same with guys more times than I would like to admit but with women it just never developed or manifested into the feelings I get when I’m with guys. In all honestly, being true to who I am, it puts me at a disadvantage because guys tend to not want women that look and act like I do but I’m aldo at the point in my life where I don’t want to pretend to be something I’m not in order for someone to want to be with me. But I digress, back to being with women. In the end I just felt bad and like I was using these women for my own personal experiment and by no fault of their own, I just felt nothing toward them in a romantic or sexual way. Ok, to be super honest... I felt like a complete asshole because if a guy did to me (they have) what I felt like I had done to them (they did), I would be pissed (I was). It was not my proudest period in my life and I didn’t set off to do it intentionally but a lot of alcohol was involved so my inhibitions were just about non-existent and I didn’t even know that a few of them were women until clothes started coming off. Not that I’m saying that my misconception about their gender was an excuse for my behavior, because it wasn’t, and I still went through with everything after the fact (which in my personal opinion made me a huge dick). It was a total dick move on my part and I own up to it. I’ve been on the receiving end of that dick move a few times myself (my marriage being one of them) and it is just not a cool thing to do to someone. I felt dishonest. Part of me at the time even hoped that doing it would trigger something inside me, flip a switch so to say, that would awaken the part of me that wanted to be with women because at least then other aspects of my life and personality would start to make better sense. It sucked feeling the need to explain this part of my past to my players that were CONVINCED I was a lesbian but like I said, I own up to the things I’ve done. So again, with that being said, the question I was asked today shocked me because it was from someone that I’ve had in depth conversations with (recently even) only this time it wasn’t my sexuality that was being questioned but my identity. Today was the first time I was asked if I was transitioning... and the shocking part was not that I was asked but how much the being asked stung me. Just to be crystal clear... I was not offended by the question but the reason it stung was because this person honestly thought that I hated the gender that I was born. I have trans friends that I love dearly. Some I knew before and after they transitioned and others I only got to know after they transitioned but from them I know how very personal their transitions were. I love being female. I don’t love my menstrual cycle or being told I can’t do something because I’m female but I don’t feel that I was born in the wrong body (even if one of my cousins swears that I am a gay man trapped in a woman’s body). I can’t even begin to imagine what it would feel like to look at oneself in the mirror and see anatomy that contradicts what you feel it should be. One of the most depressing moments of my life was being told by my doctors that I would more than likely never have biological children of my own (that needs to be covered in a separate post) because the one thing I’ve always wanted to be, my entire life, was a mother. So, I had this very in depth conversation with this friend today and she explained why she asked. Why I’ve always “confused” her. Why am I like the way that I am. Most of which we had talked about before in one form or another and like usual I didn’t have a cookie cutter response to give her for the “why I am the way that I am.” I don’t know why. I’ve never been able to give any answer except I am the way that feels true to me. I feel that I don’t fall in the typical “straight” category because I am not feminine at all and never really felt comfortable pretending to be but I don’t fall within the LGBTQ category either because I don’t feel I am the wrong gender and so far I’ve only been sexually attracted to the opposite sex. I’ve always felt that I was in this grey area or where the two circles overlap. I feel more comfortable around my LGBTQ friends because my outward appearance, personality and traits mesh better with them than with my “straight” friends but my sexual orientation still keeps me on the outside to a certain extent with them also. It does hurt me to an extent because I never really feel like I fit in with either side completely but if I change any part of myself just to fit in one way or another, that would be false and to me living that lie would be worst. It doesn’t mean that I don’t understand where they are coming from. I do. If the terms I use in this next bit are not politically correct, I apologize in advance but I’m going to do my best in order to explain why I understand where my LGBTQ friends are coming from. The best way I can put it is like this. Just because I have black friends, and I dress like them, talk like them, hang out with them, that doesn’t mean that I know what its like to be a black person in America. I don’t know what it is like to be LGBTQ in America. I’ve caught passing glimpses because people assume that I am LGBTQ when they look at me (especially when I worked concert security) and have been called things and even escaped a few attempted “gay” bashings (I have this problem with not backing down and tend to fight back) but at the end of the day, I always identified as heterosexual. I never had to live in fear that I could be fired for falling in love. I never had any doubt that I would be able to marry the person I fell in love with. Or if the time came when I need to adopt in order to have a family, I wouldn’t be discriminated against because of the person I loved and chosen to have the family with. But some of my friends did have to worry about those things and that wasn’t okay to me. I didn’t care if it alienated me from my entire biological family or my new adopted family I married into, when it came to supporting and fighting for my friends and family to obtain the same rights as I had, I did it loud and proud. 

Dude, she and I went DEEP during this conversation and it was emotionally draining. This is finally how I put it and I think she understands for the most part (wait until you read her response at the end to see if you agree)... At the end of the day, I believe with my entire being that love is love (among consenting adults). You fall in love with the person you fall in love with and when you truly fall in love with someone, they become your every sexual desire. At least that is how it is for me. When I fell in love with my husband, he wasn’t my typical “type” by any means but when I fell for him, I fell hard and completely. In my life so far, I have only felt that way toward men. Does that mean that I won’t one day meet someone that is a woman, trans, or however they identify, that will make me feel the same way... I honestly don’t know. Because of what I believe love to be, I can’t definitively say that it won’t happen nor can I say that it will. All I can say that as of right now, it hasn’t. One of my favorite scenes from a movie is when Holden asks Alyssa in Chasing Amy “why him and why now” and she replies “... The way the world is--how seldom you meet that one person who gets you--it’s so rare. My parents didn’t really have it. There was no example set for me in the world of male/female relationships. And to cut oneself off from finding that person--to immediately half your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender... that just seemed stupid. So I didn’t. But then you came along. You--the one least likely; I mean, you were a guy... And as I was falling for you. I put a ceiling on that, because you were a guy. Until I remember why I opened the door to women in the first place--not to limit the likelihood of finding that one person who’d complement me so completely. And so here we are. I was thorough when I looked for you, and I feel justified lying in your arms--because I got here on my own terms, and have no question that there was someplace I didn’t look. And that makes all the difference.” And after hearing all this, my friend said... “Ok, based off what you just said about how you feel about love and just how you are, I’m just gonna say that you are queer and leave it at that because you said there still maybe a possibility.” FACE-PALM... I was like fine, if that’s what it takes to end this conversation so be it.

In all honesty, I’m so sick of having this conversation over and over again (sometimes with the same people) because I really don’t care at this point in my life. I’ve been through so much and have battled against what my family tried to turn me into for so long, in all reality I hate labels in general (except “tomboy” because I always felt it adequately described me) . A girl is suppose to dress a certain way, do certain things, only have certain interests, and is to be defined by the man she is with... BULLSHIT! A girl/woman can dress anyway she wants, do anything she wants, have what ever interest she wants... and she can love who she wants. The most important part is the “she wants” part and that is how I choose to live my life as long as it doesn’t intentionally hurt anyone else. 

It is way past my bedtime and I swear that I should be TOO OLD for this...

[alwayshighfunctioning]

On rigid thinking, “things”and focusing on what matters most.

I don't have any real way of saying this other than the way it feels coming off the top of my head, so I'm just going to go there and hope for the best. Hope you come along for the journey. Hope you don't turn this off five seconds in because, oh, he's a bore, or, oh, what's he going on about? So the best way of putting it out there is just putting it out there.

Right now, my autism is in overdrive.

There, I said it. Normally I'm high functioning and capable of a great many things, but sometimes I am thrown for a loop and left to fend for myself, mentally and emotionally, and dig myself out of the hole I'd found myself in. That makes no sense to you, I'm sure, so allow me to explain. Us autistic folk have something called "rigid thinking" to us, which means when we get an idea in our heads, that idea sticks around until something better comes along. Occasionally I'll be unable to be pulled from a task at work because I am so "in the zone" of accomplishment that taking me away from it will screw up greatness. However great it is or isn't doesn't matter, your mind becomes obsessed with this thing, or this concept, or this idea, and it doesn't leave your head for an indefinite amount of time. Thankfully, no one obsession lingers for too long, so it is important to keep in mind that something better -- or worse -- to think about will soon come along. Joy.

Tonight, rigid thinking reared its ugly, useless head, and during a sold out, highly anticipated concert, no less. Foo Fighters at Metro. Hell yeah, right? Maybe, I thought, I will buy a concert poster, if they have any. And, of course they had some, and the one I wanted was this ultra rare foil version of the regular thing, that was limited to 10 or so copies. In my haste to buy one, I did not check in with the front desk people to get my hand stamped, which was needed to purchase items from the merchandise stand. So I had to go back and check in, then get back in line, and by that time, I was told they were sold out. So I had to settle for a regular poster that I didn't really want, because my mind was set on that one rare poster. And it couldn't shake it off.

For hours, I stood there, listening to the infrequent song I knew-slash-radio hit, thinking about how I had fucked up and failed myself, because how cool would it have been to have gotten one of those rare posters? Or, how cool would it have been to sell the thing to some hapless fan of the band and turn like, a $200 profit? Now I feel like an asshole left out in the cold, with his non-rare poster, and it's really bugging me, and far more than it should. Embarrassingly so. This is the child side of my autism coming into play here, I should have you know. Every autistic has a child side and a, well, I don't want to say adult side, but there exists a little kid wanting to leap out of every autistic person. Essentially. Or maybe that sounds weird and like I swallowed somebody's child, you tell me.

The same thing happened this same week with Ring of Honor wrestling tickets. I pined for front row, I had to settle for second. Something went weird with the ticket buying website and I lost a second or two, and by the time, poof, pairs of front rows were gone. And this lingered on the top of my mind for what felt like the entire day, maybe into the next, as well. So I went from being OK to upset in a matter of minutes. Moodswing! Just like I went from excited about the concert to being upset and hurt. "We're sold out." "Can I have the one on the wall?" "No." "O...K." "Do you want a regular one?" "...Yes." Was he really sold out? Did the other clerk guy have any left? If I had just checked in first and hit the line right away, then would I have gotten one? Am I really less than a week from 30 years old and I'm crying over the spilled milk that is not getting a certain kind of poster? Fuck this, man. Fuck being this way. Imagine how I appear to anybody outside myself, acting like this. Feeling like this. They must think I'm a loser.

More often than not I am informed on dates, when I manage to land one, that I am very self-negative and overly critical of myself. And that makes it look like my confidence is down, which is unattractive. But, you see how difficult it can be to even appear "normal," under these circumstances? Autism is constantly gaslighting one's self into believing he or she is not good enough, capable or worthy. It's not knowing whether the task you are doing is right or wrong, but you're already doing it anyway, so you just keep going and hope for the best, Heaven help you. It's that consistent, nagging voice in your head that shouts "DOUBT! DOUBT!" until both it and you are blue in the face. It's that desire to always get what you want, always strive for the best -- for perfection -- and falling just a little bit short every time. Now, how you recover from this is the key to it all. A less high-functioning individual would stop after debilitation, after the initial shock of failure, letting it consume him, ruin his whole night. Sort of like my night was ruined by this concert poster. So, I tell myself, I need to be above this. I need to be better than this. I need to focus on not what I do not have, but what I have in front of me.

Lost in all this is all I do have. I have so much, from money in my bank to cool trinkets and special, personalized autographs only I have, and everything in between, that it makes me wonder if it's not all a distraction from that which I really want, and that's career stability, moving out and to love and be loved. After all, a concert poster is just a thing. A concert itself is just a thing. These are all just things that exist one way or another, physically or otherwise. "Will this thing make you as happy as you used to be?" I ask myself every time I strive too hard for a thing. But things are not my end goal, and I would like to think I have some solid end goals in mind. A rare concert poster for a band I don't even really much care for would be a fine thing to frame, or sell, but what the fuck, Derek, it's just a thing. Stop assigning value to things like that and focus on what matters most. Focus on the big picture. There's an ice cream social event coming up this weekend on Meetup, and it's close and free and at a mansion and the weather will be nice, so why wouldn't I go to that? Why am I so adamant about swiping right and messaging girls on OkCupid? Is it because I know I will fail, and that's exactly what I want? I don't want a girlfriend right now. I've convinced myself of that. But, deep down, that's exactly what I want.

I haven't had proper companionship since 2014, and I've been longing for it since. Back then, I was with a girl for about two and a half years, by far my longest relationship in a life where relationships aren't exactly easy to nail down. Beyond her, my most successful relationship was six months, and going back past that, it gets even uglier. In short, I haven't had much positive in my dating life outside of this one girl, Lauren, and that fact bugs me more than just about anything. More than a concert poster, even. Because that girl loved me, approved of me, accepted me and all my quirks, all my faults, all my negatives. She believed in me, she had fun with me, and she was with me until the end. For an autistic person, that level of companionship, that depth of relationship, was something I never thought possible, and I'm still curious if it will ever happen again. A great big, self-doubting part of me says it won't.

That's just one of the things I should be focusing on right now, instead of a concert poster I won't ever have, for a band I find just all right, for a concert I probably should never have even been attending in the first place. (People were paying a thousand dollars to be there! It was insane!) I should also be focusing on my job and advancing within my career. Really, the job should be my bedrock, my foundation, my go-to when I feel like shit in this world, because I have found the career equivalent of my last relationship in that it is this good a fit for me that I can't ever see leaving it. I have such a good thing going for me with my job, which is by far my favorite of all my past jobs, and I don't understand why I can't just look at it and be happy with myself for what I have achieved there. Getting a stupid concert poster would have required me to be there earlier; getting a great fucking job I'd wanted since I graduated college in 2009 took years of hard work, saying the right things, knowing the right people, and putting in the effort physically and emotionally. And I did it all under the helm of autism, which is even more impressive. I climbed that mountain, goddamn it, so why aren't I prouder of myself?

I am never, ever content. I am always unhappy. I am always in a state of desire, hope, want, lust. Usually for things, because things are immediate and physical and you can hold them in your hands. I strive for autographs, I strive for tickets, I strive for anything perceived as "exclusive" or "rare" because somebody else wanting to have a certain thing means I must have that certain thing, as well. Autistic folk tend to imitate others and their actions, and this is my one area in which I still do that; this is my blind spot. Every other time, for every other thing, I like to think for myself. But when somebody is excited about something, I am excited too. When somebody is upset, when the mood in the room changes, so does mine. After so long, you forget whether you are your own self or a copy of somebody else. You lose your identity.

It is my hope with this post, and others like it, that my fellow autistics can relate to this in some way, shape, form or function. What "they" say about us is entirely true. We are a lonely people. We feel like we do not belong on this earth. But, fuck it, can't we at least be lonely together, if that's going to be the case?

[azworkingdogs]

5 and ½ Dogs That Were on Death Row, but Beat the Odds and Became Service Dogs

I have spent the majority of my career working with Service Dogs or “Assistance Dogs” in one form or another.

I have worked for a number of different organizations, and even ran my own until I had to move across the country and was unable to continue.

Although I worked with a couple of organizations that did some puppy raising, I found that the most rewarding work came from taking adult dogs from shelters, saving a life, and training them for individuals with disabilities.

Chance and Lucky

Lucky and I in the Prison

Chance and Lucky were probably my very first experience working with surrendered dogs that became Service Dogs.

At the time I was working in Wisconsin for the Liberty Dog Program.  A revolutionary (for the time) program that was run in a men’s correctional facility that gave both the men and the dogs a new “leash” on life. Incidentally, this was my very favorite Service Dog experience, as I could see the importance it had on the lives of the men and the dogs, AND the Service Dog recipients!

Chance and Lucky were Golden Retriever and Border Collie mixes or at least that is our assumption due to their appearance.  They were given up by a young couple with a family because the family was tired of their antics, so they were dropped at the local shelter.  We liked renaming them because we felt like they getting a new and exciting opportunity.

They Were Given Up Because They Were Out of Control

I fell in love!

Ironically, all they needed was some dog obedience, structure, and training in their lives.

It turns out, when given a job, Chance was a mellow guy with a very sweet and nurturing personality.  He was actually placed with a 5 year old autistic boy.

The dog, once given up for being too crazy, was eventually tethered to a child.  If you think about it in those terms, it blows your mind.

His brother “Lucky” and I were soul mates.  I bonded to him hard!  He was so very intelligent and willing to work and do anything.  I spent a lot of time taking him all over in public places.

After life forced me to move, he was actually adopted and used by one of the other trainers as a demonstration dog to help educate the public about the important work Service Dogs provide.

This is why I consider him the ½   He lived the life, but wasn’t truly a working Service Dog.

Freedom

Me in my early 20’s and Freedom at a concert :)

Freedom was an Aussie mix that I adopted out of a shelter in Colorado.  I had just began working with the organization as office administrator, and because of my previous experience at the prison program, I was also utilized as a trainer.

Even though she passed the temperament test, she was full of sass!  She had actually been adopted out and returned to the shelter 3 times.  She had been at the DDFL for almost a year.

I loved her for her intelligence and innocent sauciness.  And it was my duty to make sure she didn’t go back to the shelter!  I couldn’t give up on her.

She was always up to a little bit of no good but loved being in public.  She had a way of making eye contact with the public and drawing them in to pet her.  Essentially, she was a “flirt” of mass proportions and had an affinity for children.  But I didn’t mind, because it allowed me to educate the public about Service Dogs.

She Was Afraid of Stomping Behind Her

Her biggest issue was being afraid when anyone would stomp up behind her.  She would tuck her tail and try to run. She was never aggressive, but as a trainer, I knew if I couldn’t fix this problem, she would be failed.  After all, you can’t be a Service Dog and have fear issues!

There were 5 of us trainers and after the initial month of basic ground work, the dog would go to another trainer to be worked and evaluated further.  This made our placement process so much easier because the dog was so used to working for a variety of trainers. It also meant that dogs that weren’t right for the program got failed quickly when they went to a different trainer, because emotions weren’t involved

I spent so much time stomping and clicking!  I undoubtedly looked like a lunatic in public when I was trying to desensitize her.

The good news is that I didn’t give up and it worked!  And we placed her with a client who was just as full of sass as she was, who also had kids for her to play with and love.

Incidentally, I cried when I placed her even though I knew she had the job of her dreams.  It isn’t easy.

Balto

Lucas and Balto (PHOTO BY GLENN ASAKAWA/DENVER POST STAFF)

Balto was one of my first placements with my own organization.

The mother and father of a 4 year old boy came to me because they were either denied by other organizations, or they were expected to raise or pay close to 15,000.

I placed all of my dogs free of charge.  I couldn’t charge the family of a disabled individual or child.  I knew the struggle.  And, I needed to be able to live with myself and sleep at night!

Lucas had mobility issues and needed a dog to help him walk.  His parents wanted him to leave the security of his walker and learn to balance more on his own for his physical development.

I used the breed that many would have discounted.

Balto was a Greyhound.  And, an ex-racing Greyhound at that!

Yes, A Working Greyhound!

No one could believe that a dog that once chased things for a living could be tethered to a 5 year old and learn some impulse control as well as advanced obedience.  He made the local news and the front page of the Denver paper.

I even taught him to retrieve (which is a small miracle with this breed of dog).

My only hiccup in training came when Balto went to school and visited a classroom with a class “bunny”.  Apparently he thrust his head into the open cage but didn’t harm the bunny.

So he came back to me, I got a pet bunny to train with, and we taught him a more solid leave it with small animals!

They were an adorable pair.  And, Lucas left his walker for a cane in one hand and a dog in the other.

Eternity

Matt and Eternity, the Ultimate Underdogs

Eternity was my “project” dog.  I was fundraising to pay his expenses by raising him for a country music artist who was my friend at the time.  His fans would also provide him with these lavish birthday gifts, but my idea was instead of buying him a “thing” we should donate money to saving a dog and placing it with a deserving human.

Eternity came to our program as a WILD 2(ish) year old 100+ pound Labrador Retriever.

He was one of my best “training feats”.

He Pulled Me Down and Skinned My Knee

The first day I brought him home from the shelter (he can been given up for being too big), he pulled me down and skinned my knee.

Admittedly, that made me angry.  But I knew he had the heart to do the job!

His size and exuberance made him a challenge.

I kept him on a leash full time at home, just to control his puppy antics and teach him basic control.

He had a complete lack of impulse control and would spin when it was dinner time.

His biggest challenge was learning to ride escalators.

He was terrified.

Again, not aggressive, but he didn’t want any part of moving stairs.  If he refused he would have to be released and placed as a pet.

The first time I tried to tackle an escalator, he nearly pulled me off and threw me off.  The drop would have been well over 10 feet.

It required 3 of us trainers.  One to get on with another dog first and block his ability to run forward.  Me to lock and load him onto the escalator.  And another trainer to keep him from running off of it backwards.

If he remained calm, I would reward him with a click and a full piece of cheese (quite the jackpot for him).

Within a few short sessions our worries went from being pulled off the escalator, to being pulled on and toward it because he wanted his reward.

He went to one of my favorite clients, ever, named Matt.  Matt suffered from a traumatic brain injury and was a big man.

He needed a dog to balance and counter balance for him and to assist him when that injury caused a seizure.

He and Eternity were the perfect pair and totally suited for each other.

Matt enforced rules and loved Eternity, but didn’t let him get away with even the slightest bad behavior!

They were well known for working on the campus for the college in Ft. Collins, CO.

London

London was one of my favorite “saves”.

Many service dog organizations and rescues are contacted as soon as a potential adoptable dog that might fit the bill comes through.

After all, shelter staff wants to get the good ones out as fast as possible.

Sure, some of these dogs (usually the really naughty ones that no one would expect) are on their last day, but many of them are quickly ferreted into more suitable situations.

London was literally within a couple of hours of euthanasia.

We were visiting a high volume shelter, mostly animal control, in the city of Denver.  The truth is that few dogs ever made it out.  With Denver Dumb Friends League and other shelters being more aesthetically pleasing and easier to get too with more variety, this shelter just didn’t beat the odds very often.

One of the shelter staff had contacted me.

He’s Not The Type

“He’s not the type”, she said on the phone.  He is not a breed I have ever seen as a Service Dog.  But he is sweet, and rescue won’t take him because he is a mix.

In this field, you often have to make a trip at the decree of another, even if you think it is futile.

However, I like to think of myself as less “breedist” and more of looking for a certain type of temperament.

Many organizations look at certain breeds and discount other breeds.

I didn’t want to be one of those.

You see, he was a Husky mix.

Huskies are known for being difficult to train and difficult to contain, among other training and personality problems that would make them nearly impossible to be handled by a disabled client.

I’ll admit it.

I took one look at him and I had my doubts.

But this little guy passed my temperament test with flying colors.

He was always so mellow (I think the Collie offset the Husky).

His biggest issue?

He Would Yodel When He Wanted Attention

I would be buying groceries, with him on a down stay down an aisle and he would “WOOOOOOO WOOOOOOO” with his best Husky voice.

Some unwitting shoppers found this behavior a bit disheartening and startling, since they didn’t expect a dog in their grocery store.  But he was never issuing anything but a friendly greeting.

I had to teach him to first “use his inside voice” by quieting his bark or “yodel”.  After all, it is instinct for Huskies to yodel, so breaking such a fundamental instinct completely would be difficult, if not impossible.

And, then I learned that he was less flirty by using his mouth if he was with me and busy.  So I opted to leave him in less down stays or up to his own devices.

We placed him with a lovely young girl who suffered from a traumatic brain injury.

She went from being ignored and left out of everything, to becoming very popular because everyone wanted to find out more about “London”.

He facilitated her ability to be social and popular.

He also gave her unconditional love.

Want Your Dog to Behave Like a Service Dog?

If these dogs can turn the odds in their favor, any dog and owner can!

It only takes a few minutes a day.

You don’t even have to force your dog to obey!

Spend 5 minutes a session, 3 times a day, teaching your dog something new or refreshing old skills!

It’s that simple.

Play the clicker game and wait for a good behavior you can reward.

Or, teach your dog a trick!

The reason that working dogs are calm and so seemingly well-adjusted is that they have a job to do and feel needed all of the time.

Don’t Get Overwhelmed

You aren’t going to tackle all the commands at once or even change all of his bad behavior right away.

But by simply investing 5 minutes a session, 3 times a day training your dog, you will utterly change your relationship!

Give it a try!

Want To Learn How Train Your Dog To Be As Well-Behaved As A Service Dog?

Check out our 8 week class, where we walk you through how you can use Service Dog industries impulse control training process on your own dog to train your dog to be the ultimate companion dog.

Click here to learn this training process.

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