#man this reminds me i need to go and rewrite my ship info on my s/i chiharus doc... its a bit messy rn sndksndns

[deerself]

7/8/10 for whoever u want! - @ptilopseth

THANK U FOR THE ASK SETH!!! 🥰🥰🥰 i put on mine and itachis song and sat down and did these questions for him 🥺

7. You’ve just come to realize you have a crush on your f/o. How was it like when you encountered them again after that? Were you able to keep your cool around them, or was it awkward? How about vice versa?

OH MAN when i figured out i had a crush??? i definitely was a bit awkward at first, and itachi almost certainly saw how awkward i was, in fact he teased me a lil about it snfksndn. i figured out how to keep my cool after a bit but it required..... a lot of self discipline. i think we both knew we had a thing for each other but had no idea what to do about it LOL

itachi tho could keep his cool a lot easier, mostly. he’d slip up at times and do things that just friends PROBABLY wouldnt do (he’s kissed my forehead/the top of my head a few times, oops) but he managed to mostly play it off to leave me confused more than anything. he definitely wouldnt be as cool tho around his friends, according to what he told me. he used to ramble about me to shisui enough until he had to tell him to knock it off snfkndmsms

8. Do either of you plan to confess to each other, or are there too many obstacles for that?

WOO. ANGST. uhhhhh there were honestly a lot of obstacles in our lives. we’re both powerful ninja, from powerful clans (tho i was lowkey disowned from mine). he had a big reputation to hold up to, and even tho the uchihas were fond of me, he still had a lot to live up to. we both struggled a lot with various things in our lives. he was originall going to confess but then..... things happened. big, bad things (*points at canon for those aware of naruto*)

10. Before dating, were you guys friends? Enemies? Anything else?

we were close friends!! best friends, even. itachi and shisui were extremely close and me and itachi were probably just as close, too

[fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy]

Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

[shy-magpie]

RQG 152

Poor Alex, there was no way to know and changing the story would be more of a breach of the implied contract than going forward. Plus side this warning implies we'll get more info on how the biology of the infection works before RSB actually explodes. To be clear I am all for warnings, I just imagine this was one heck of an awkward position for Alex & co to find themselves in. Well one would think they wanted to get through the intros as fast as physically possible! Seriously bless em for sticking with the structure instead of saying screw it and diving right in. Must be frustrating but it really helps me get in the right space to listen. Yeah it was a bit of an altruism run. That Ben physically ill at the prospect of characters talking? Yuck it up, I was specifically promised three (3) distinct topics would be addressed including both coping mechanisms and back stories. Poor Azu. If someone doesn't hold her while she has a proper cry I will be an unhappy Magpie. Are the new kids going to be invited to the conversations that are totally for sure not going to be put off for a month? Retcon: Barnes and Carter actually fought well it. I guess they were just down to the tricky ones. Theatrical much? Cel is great, have I said that enough? Well obviously not it should be declared at least hourly: "2 o' clock and Cel is great". But right after last episode instead of backing down (and IDK implying Wilde told the new kids their pronouns), Cel is immediately introducing themself with them and emphasizing their importance. Hamid right in there with the leadership, telling the duo that the party needs to go into isolation. I know having Zolf around must have took some weight off his shoulders but the man has grown since season one or even since Prague. He didn't lose that just because he cheers up when not solely responsible for leading the party. Note there is a messy negotiation with Zolf about who is in charge coming up and it is a mark of my trust in this show that I'm not dreading it. Am curious if it will be explicit enough for the white picket fence kids to pick up on, I know I have a thing about rank but some people seem to miss that aspect entirely. OK point Zolf but even with his charisma score there has to be a better way to put it than "do that and you are responsible for infecting Jasper and the village". Wow I guess that is the case isn't it. Thank you leader!Hamid coming in again. Getting Cel the kind of updates on home Hamid was denied in quarantine is fairly low risk for great gains in Cel's comfort with the whole thing. Point of clarity: as much as I hate to admit it, once the quarantine began they couldn't really keep Hamid in the loop since Ishaq was in the care of the Harlequins. Its been implied even without simply escaping an infected person could have means of communication that work in am anti magic cell. The village however is public info. Zolf, I want that again in small words! Are we talking black death or infrastructure problems? Because a few targeted infections could take out the government but not directly kill the citizens. Cel is doing the forced cheer again. What the hell have they been through that they default to words of affirmation for gory violence? Like most characters acknowledge the gore or that it was helpful, not both. Barnes is more reserved outside of the fight. Issues? Trauma? Oh Helen spelling it out, he's my type, crap. "Emotionally unavailable pirate" is a lot of people's type TBF. No wonder I made a warding gesture on hearing Zolf's description and didn't warm up till Dover. These characters wear the red flag as a cape and I'm surprised when my heart gets broken every time. Eh Zolf came back and is doing well enough, maybe Barnes will turn out to just not be chatty vs heart rending. And Hamid in there with the initiative casting Detect Magic so they don't have to face all the risks implied with not checking over the bodies. Barnes and Carter are glowing "like a fireworks factory where things have gone wrong". Only Water Breathing on the mooks. Speaking of emotionally unavailable pirates, Zolf sounds resigned as hell. I know he's working on it but the situation would depress anyone and he's been having a time of it, what with the puzzles and all. Shutting down isn't actually coping better than being shouty just more convenient. Have I already mentioned I want someone to comfort Azu on screen so she can put herself first for once? Remember how bright she shone in Cairo? If she doesn't process soon she's going to echo Zolf's arc. Carter is trying to looking at the bright side. Thank you Ben and Alex, not only a mood lightener but one that reminds us that Zolf asks direct questions now. And Zolf just moved as clearly as possible to protect Azu after Carter lashed out in response to her. I know they have a ways to get to where Grizzop & Azu were but I think they are at least proper team mates. Maybe having Zolf on this side of the bars this time will ease anything Azu is carrying from their introduction. Cel is a delight. Did they just suggest hamster balls? I love how Alex jokes about his own set design. Ah there is Ben's Minecraft joke. I think that's what you call environmental story telling. I love the mental image of them making their entrance crashing the mine cart into the ambush, like half way between a roller-coaster and sledding. Ah its been so long Zolf can't apply his memories of mining. They are officially out! Azu and Zolf are finally breathing right. Hey Zolf broke the weather machine! Cel takes a look see. Plumes of smoke from Shoin's? Wreckage from all the storms. Zolf joins Cel and USES HIS WORDS! I am so proud of him. Like not kidding learning to proactively offer praise & comfort instead of only offering concrete assistance in reaction is a huge step. Oh Cel! Getting yourself killed fighting alone would not have been better than defending your patch. And Zolf is right there, god remember Paris? Remember Prague? Now look at him. And there is the reality check. Not as jarring as it could have been. Azu is face down on the ground near Hamid! No more putting on her game face and slogging through it! Yes, process all you need darlin, no reason to rush. Hamid checks in! Azu takes his hand and explicitly talks about how scary it was when he was missing. Hamid talks about putting on a brave face for Skraak! RQG really just said "we're giving the fandom everything they want" in an episode recorded before we had a chance to ask. Azu checks in with Hamid! Oh Hamid its ok not to be ok. Oh hat Azu! Hamid call your family 18mumble is a go! Alex I will scream if he gets another delaying tactic. Cross your fingers we might get Ishaq and Saira! Azu assures him it would OK. Timing Zolf Horses! Topaz! Barnes: right Well that's a fair reaction to a celestial camel, he doesn't even know what the T stands for. Azu hugs Topaz Thank you Alex for making judgmental celestial camel canon.  How GMs don't all go insane with power from the moment it hits they can rewrite their world on a whim is beyond me. A Shetland for Hamid, a standard sounding horse for Cel, a cart horse for Azu, and another Shetland for Zolf. Carter can't get the question out before Zolf shuts him down. He is sticking to his word to Skraak, the island belongs to the Kobolds. Hamid calls en route! Bryn remembers to roll for it! Ishaq is a great kid, such a good sign he sounds like a kid too. Yes the kids are all together in the country house! Dad is at a redacted location, thank you Alex! Mom is alright! Saira is busy and the biggest problem with Ismail is that he is now taller than Ishaq! Ismail is good at magic too. Family bonding time. Einstein is working. Emeka & Veseek are helping things. Ed is with the family. Zolf is not happy about the call. Fair Zolf but none of us are regretting that call. Eh it being a one time thing is fair. Have I mentioned I like how Hamid & Zolf bicker? Its not like with Grizzop. They assume good faith and argue about the issue not score points. Part of why I shipped them in the beginning honestly: charismatic as Hamid is he probably impressioned like a duck on the first person to care more about what he was saying than how he said it. They joke about how hard nonverbal shots are in a podcast. Yes Alex we really do respect your craft. Might have been reassuring Ben. Helen is on the audience's side as always and tells him to pay up on the promised coping mechanisms talk. And Alex makes them roll a perception check. Do not talk block. Carter has been trying to eavesdrop. Azu tells him he isn't invited and Zolf tosses something at his head. Carter slinks back off. Zolf is still not good with words but he is resisting the urge to take it back. That counts damn it! Azu: your not good at talking for someone who says we need to talk. Yes Azu, and thats what makes it special. He is willing to put himself out there and do things he is bad at for the sake of the team. I like how Helen plays Azu getting over her issues with Zolf rather than just leaping to "Hamid vouched for you so we're besties". I need a clip of this, Zolf is offering to listen and be there while respecting boundaries and citing his own experience. Helen is great, Azu jumps right into the 18 months by asking about his relationship with Poseidon. Which again makes sense, as Azu is still working on "we met after you drugged, trapped, and imprisoned me". Which I get but seriously couldn't it have been in the stew or something? Drugging a woman's drink has connotations. Azu backstory(ish) oh thank Alex her cult is still doing the good work. Zolf tells Azu this, and offers her an out? Hamid & Zolf offer reassurance. Yes Hamid specifically tells her it isn't her fault. Zolf assures her that she isn't responsible for Sasha's decisions. Cel and Carter are chatting about what they've seen on the island.  Barnes tells them to keep the volume down and does Zolf's thing of bouncing something off Carter's head when he's loud again. Hamid moves to check in with Cel. Cel calls him on it.  Hamid asks what Cel plans to do after quarantine! Thank you Bryn! Cel doesn't know, ow. Cel feels obligated to be more proactive. Hamid reassures and points out that they were able to do it as a team so its not on Cel for not acting alone. Cel what is your backstory, afraid of being the monster. Thank you, I could wrap myself in this episode like a blanket. Cel how do you know that about being friends with mercs? Hamid would do it again but wants them to have a choice. Cel: When I call you little buddy I m not referring to the size of your heart. And that was veering saccharine so Ben swoops in with the Harrison Campbell joke. Do not make me get into why Hamid might be using snobbery as a cover for continuing to care more about what people might think than what he wants. Its a cheap shot for what could equally be he's that age and still has some flaws to work through. Thank you Alex for being realistic about horse pace without turning it into a word problem. Wilde! Cel points out the inn keeper could be infected, the boys explain the system of watching one another. Zolf is not letting Wilde get cute with his team again. Wilde wants them "fully supervised" in the bath. I feared that Alex, Wilde turned himself off again. Zolf calls him on it, kinda. They skim past the bath, thank you that could have been problematic. Thank goodness they are leaving the cell door open but locking the trap door. The new kids are in quarantine with them. Fair, going to be fun, but fair.  

[danguy96]

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens Rewrite - Story Outline

Since a lot of you liked the set-up I had in mind for a “redo” of the sequel trilogy, I was thinking of finally laying the basic, rough outline of the first “movie”.

I decided to make this its own post, because it turned out to be pretty long, and would likely take up a lot of space in messaging on either Tumblr or Discord.

As I said before, the universe this takes place in is a mash-up of both old and new canon stuff, with some events happening different than others.

I hope you all like it, and if there’s any questions about this planned story, feel free to ask me them, because there’s a lot I have in mind beyond this.

Also, it’s best if you read the original set-up post I created, since it covers a lot of background surrounding the setting of this story. You can find it here.

With all that out of the way, let’s begin, and start off with a familiar phrase:

We start off our story with a small spaceship landing on a mysterious planet, in front of what appears to be an ancient Jedi Temple.

A hooded figure emerges from the ship, and soon is accompanied by another hooded figure, with this one being female.The male figure says “I apologize if I’m late. I came as soon as I heard”, and asks where the others are. The female figure says that the “Master” has already given his instructions to them, and that they are the only two left to receive the orders from the one who summoned them.

We cut to another hidden figure, meditating and chanting in a long-forgotten tongue. We do not clearly see who this chanting figure may be at first, but I think savvy audiences could guess correctly. Anyway, we see this hidden figure continue meditating, until we cut to his point of view. We see that in the middle of meditation, he is suddenly met with visions.

We see familiar locations, such as the desert world of Tatooine, the volcanic planet Mustafar and a large fortress which towers above everything on the planet, and a mysterious, snow-covered forest, where another figure lights a red cross guard lightsaber. We also see visions focusing on a single Stormtrooper out of all the rest, and visions of young scavenger/mechanic.We then see a dark aura consuming all in its wake, as what sounds like a horrifying voice of legion cackles horrifically.The mysterious man suddenly breaks out of his meditation with a start, and looks around as he breathes heavily.The man turns around, and his apprentices ask him what is the matter.

The old master calms down, and says that he senses a great disturbance is rising within the Force, as his visions become worse and worse with time.The two figures ask if there is anything they can do to stop whatever new dark force is threatening the Galaxy.The old master says there is one chance. He says he has seen figures in his visions. While one of them he cannot reach, the others must be found immediately.The old master says that the two must go in his stead, along with other Jedi Knights he has already sent out into the galaxy, as he senses whatever dark force is out there wishes to see him come out of seclusion.The two pupils bid their master farewell, leaving the master alone with his thoughts about this new threat to the Galaxy.

Of course, the old master is revealed to be Luke Skywalker, now a full-fledged Jedi Master, and currently one of the most powerful wielders of the Force in the galaxy, if not the most. And the two apprentices he spoke to him are his niece and nephew, Jacen and Jaina Solo.

We cut to Poe Dameron receiving vital information, only this time it’s not a map to Luke Skywalker, but info which reveals the connection between those within the Coalition and the First Order, and plans of attack with their new battle station, the Starkiller Base, and the planet he’s currently on isn’t Jakku, but Tatooine itself.

In this version, the Stormtroopers are being led by two members of the Knights of Ren; Kylo Ren, of course, and his rival/teammate, Zayla Ren (and yes, it’s revealed a bit later that Zayla is actually a woman early on, and her personality was inspired by Azula’s from Avatar, only Kylo and her aren’t related).

We go through the song and dance of the Rens and the troopers laying waste to the place, but in this version, Kylo, while appearing threatening, is a bit more reserved than how he was in the OG film, with Zayla being the one to kill San Tekka, and giving the order to shoot any villagers who do not wish to cooperate.

Also, Zayla’s lightsaber would be two-headed, like in that Teen Titans episode where they went into the TV world:

Poe is tortured out of the info by Zayla and Kylo, but as Kylo makes his way out, Zayla tells him that he “hesitated” and she sensed weakness in him. Kylo says that he only took what information was “necessary”, but she reminds him that their master does not accept hesitation or weakness, no matter what. Kylo continues walking down the hallway, but Zayla just continues as he goes, saying that at the rate he’s “improving”, it would “just be awful” if their master soon announced that the Knights of Ren were to have a new leader, chuckling to herself as Kylo resists the urge to practice his Force powers on her.

Anyway, Poe’s droid, BB-8 encounters Rey, much like in the film, but here it’s established that not only is Rey a scavenger, but she’s also a mechanic of sorts, and, as seen in the details of room containing bits of memorabilia from the days of the Rebellion, giving a sort of meta thing of her a fan of the tales and legends of the Rebellion and the Jedi, but she doesn’t have the money to ever leave Tatooine and go on her own adventures. Also, it’s explained that she didn’t know what the Millennium Falcon looked like, due to her hearing it looked much differently than it actually does, as sort of another meta joke about how the Falcon was supposed to look differently in the original draft. And her lineage does get explained, but both sides of her family are explained better, and she struggles with one of them in not just the last part of the story.

We then have a disillusioned Finn free Poe, and they’re shot down, but this time, instead of implying Poe is dead or actually having Poe die, both Poe and Finn make it out, and both travel across one of the many deserts of Tatooine until they find Rey and BB-8. The newly established gang of Finn, Rey, Poe, and BB-8 make off in the Millennium Falcon, but this time Poe is the main pilot, while Rey is the co-pilot, and Finn puts his marksman skills to use by manning one of the Falcon’s gunners.

We then get the reintroduction of Han Solo and Chewbacca, which is somewhat similar to the actual movie, but with a few tweaks, such as them always being a part of the Resistance. It’s also established that Han and Chewie were already trying to get the Falcon back as part of another misadventure which is practically begging to be told in a hypothetical cartoon or comic, and that they’re not washed-up, and Han isn’t separated from Leia. Han still wants his ship back, and is skeptical about the ex-Stormtrooper and the mysterious girl Poe has in toe with him, but he still ends up taking them on board with him, since Poe still has the documents within BB-8.

And don’t worry. Things start to depart from a lot of TFA’s story soon, given how the New Republic is still standing by the end, and we still have a senator and Chancellor to introduce.

As for the Resistance, in this version, they’re more of a smaller ragtag army fighting the First Order, but they need further help from the Republic, which they’ve tried to get for some time. The Starkiller plans and the data which confirms that the FO is receiving funding from those within the Coalition/Confederacy could be what helps them finally win over the Republic to provide military aid. This is continuing with the proxy war/cold war thing going on.

As our heroes make their way to the rendezvous planet where they’ll meet up with Leia and the other freedom fighters, we cut to the capitol city of the Coalition/Confederacy (I’m going to being calling it the Confederacy and the UGC interchangeably), where we’re introduced to First Chairman Krazvlin (it’s a work-in-progress name, but I wanted something which sounded vaguely Russian, and also villainous).

This scene is mostly based off the scene where we’re introduced to the emperor in the original drafts for “The Star Wars”, though here the Chairman’s speech is to celebrate the anniversary of the unification of the new Confederacy, and how their hard won “peace” will not be deterred by any “terrorist” scum.

After finishing his speech, the Chairman and his generals make their way to another, more private meeting with members of the First Order, to discuss the negotiations of the technological behemoth known as the Starkiller, discussing if it will truly be the deterrent the UGC needs to secure superiority against the Republic.

Among this meeting are General Hux, who used to work for the UGC, but is now the leading military officer of the First Order, and Grand Admiral Prydus, commander of the UGC’s main starship fleet, and a veteran of the old Galactic Empire (you can see I took the character of Pryde from Rise of Skywalker, and made him into something more than just a last minute addition, and I imagine him looking different from Pryde as well, with Jason Isaacs being my headcanon choice as to who would play him). 

Prydus questions why Hux, who seemed like such a promising general for the Confederacy, would lend his support to “a bunch of Sith fanatics”, to which a smooth, yet sickening voice answers back “You’d best watch your tongue, Admiral. You’re lucky the Chairman finds you to be still of use, even after your glory days”, and from the shadows step out the two Knights of Ren, Kylo and Zayla.

After the Rens make themselves known, much to Prydus’ exasperation, Hux answers that he lent his services to the First Order not due to admiration of any “religious cult”, but to prove himself as being the commander of his own military force. A military which he says would be “nothing” without his leadership, while Prydus claims that Hux is merely “standing on the shoulders” of those of the former Empire. Krazvlin silences both of them, and says that they still have the matter of the info on their plans and alliance with the FO are still with the rebels/resistance.

Hux and Prydus reluctantly simmer down, though Prydus still questions why the First Order always sends in their middle men, while their true leader keeps himself in secret, not even willing to share a hologram of himself with the Confederacy. Prydus says that he’s tired of all the secrecy surrounding the First Order and their leader, demanding to know his identity. Kylo interjects, saying that his master wishes to remain hidden, until his plans have come to full fruition. Prydus asks just when will these plans finally come to fruition, so that the UGC can finally get back to handling it’s own matters. Kylo answers back once again that his master doesn’t have the time to deal with such useless questions, and that his wisdom is spent on better things. Prydus says that if the Rens’ master was as wise as they say he is, he would have the guts to show himself, and not hide like a coward behind children playing dressup. But as he goes on, he suddenly stops, finding it hard to breathe. We see Kylo is the one Force-choking Prydus, but Zayla turns to Kylo and says “Kylo, I said he was currently still useful to us”, and Kylo releases Prydus.

Krazvlin, going on as if that didn’t even happen, continues on by saying that it is imperative that the BB-8 droid unit not reach boundaries of Republic territory. He asks Hux if he has any whereabouts of the rebels who took the documents, and if he knows where they’re headed. Hux says that the last his troops saw them, they had just left Tatooine on a Corellian freighter, and are now suspected to be in neutral space. Chairman Krazvlin says to alert any troops and spies patrolling that sector to look out for them, as the future of the stability of the UGC and it’s relationship with the Republic relies on those documents being found.

We cut to our trio of Finn, Poe, and Rey, who are currently on board the Millennium Falcon with Han Solo and Chewbacca (yeah, a lot of the New Jedi Order stories either haven’t happened, or happened drastically differently, so no Yuuzhan Vong just yet). The gang is currently flying through neutral space, and each member of the gang has different interactions between themselves and Han. Rey, being something of Rebel fangirl, asks him a bunch of questions of what was it like with the Rebellion, many of which Han either gives brief answers to, or doesn’t answer (I was thinking we could even throw in some dialogue which confirms the Thrawn trilogy did happen in this universe, at least to some extent). Poe is honored to be in the presence a hero of the Rebellion, and the man who fought alongside his parents. Finn, though, is a bit more apprehensive, considering he’s worried Han may suspect him of being a double agent for the First Order, but Han, despite his misgivings, says that Finn “isn’t the first Stormtrooper to defect”, and he won’t be the last (which is not only a shout-out to his original EU backstory of working for the Empire for some time, but also one to Kyle Katarn, and foreshadowing of later events in this saga).

Also, instead of having the run-in with the gang Han pissed off being just a thing in this movie, I was thinking it could be something that carries over across the trilogy, much like Jabba’s subplot.

Anyway, after Han exposits about how he lost his ship after a spat he had with a crimelord who holds a massive grudge against him for “ruining his business” after working with the New Republic to help bootstrap trade with smugglers, and how Luke has been in isolation to keep himself from being discovered ever since a certain incident Han doesn’t like to talk about, they arrive at Takodana, where they’ll lay low until a group of Resistance members meet up with them, along with some Republic help.

They land on Takodana, and meet up with cantina owner, and secretly a leading member of the Resistance, Maz Kanta. She offers to help hide Han and co. until the Resistance/Republic arrives to pick them up.

Later that night, in the secret quarters where Maz offers the gang to rest before the Republic forces arrive tomorrow morning, Rey is stirred awake by a strange sensation, and is drawn by a strange voice to a secluded vault, where she finds an old lightsaber. She tries to pick it up, but the moment she holds it, she’s visited by strange visions. Some of them visions of her past, and how she was supposedly abandoned as a baby on Tatooine. She soon finds herself standing in the middle of a snow-covered forest, where she see a man whose face is hidden beneath a hood reach out to her, with the calm voice of another man calling out to her (the voice of the second man sounding oddly like Ewan McGregor). However, as she moves to approach the man and the voices, she’s grabbed by the leg by something. She turns around, and what’s grabbing her seem to be this formless mass of darkness, trying to suck her in. Rey tries to run, but the man in the hood seems to keep getting farther and farther away, and soon she’s forcefully dragged into the darkness, as a hideous voice cackles loudly (a voice which strangely sounds like Ian McDiarmid). Rey suddenly snaps back to reality, and looks around, alone and afraid. 

We cut to the First Order’s secret weapon and one of their bases of operations, the Starkiller Base, where General Hux is informing the Chairman via hologram that one of their spies has told them that they have seen the BB-8 droid in a cantina on Takodana, and that they will retrieve it before the Resistance/Republic makes it there. Chairman Krazvlin says that for Hux’s sake, he better deliver it them, and ends the call. Hux, visibly frustrated, calls Captain Phasma to handle the mission, and bring the droid to them. She says that it would be her pleasure, and that she also requests permission to go after the traitorous Stormtrooper who let Poe escape. He grants her permission, and sends her on her way.

Meanwhile, Kylo Ren is busy practicing his Force powers and his lightsaber technique, when Zayla storms in and tells him that he can train later, because their master is calling them right now. Ignoring Zayla’s jabs of telling him not to “dawdle”, Kylo goes off with Zayla, to meet their master, and the true power behind the First Order: Supreme Leader Snoke.

When they make it to the room where they contact Snoke, we first see his form through a psychic link which Zayla and Kylo project, using their Force powers (this is sort of taking that whole Force Projection and Force psychic link we see in TLJ, and actually doing it beforehand by more powerful Force users). Snoke says that he has felt yet another Great Awakening in the Force. This one slower than the one after the fall of Darth Sidious, but still a source of rich, yet untrained power. Snoke orders the Rens to travel to Takodana along with Phasma, and retrieve the ones who have been awakened by the power of the Force, to prevent them from becoming Jedi. The Rens accept the order from their master, but before they head out, Snoke says that he can sense that there is still much both must learn, such as Kylo is still “holding back”, and how he senses “much fear” and “insecurity” deep within Zayla (that bit was inspired by a scene from the Genndy Clone Wars series where Dooku says that Ventress has too much fear to be Sith). Snoke finishes by saying that in order to truly awaken their full power, and become true successors to the Sith, they must negate all feelings of fear, and strike without mercy. Only then will they be able achieve their true potential.

We cut back to Maz’s place on Takodana, just as morning starts to break. Finn asks about where Rey is, as he hasn’t seen her all morning. Maz and Han say she’s been pacing outside all morning, and it seems like she doesn’t wants to talk. Finn, however, decides to go and see if he can comfort her. Finn finds Rey staring out into the distance, staring at the rising sun. He asks Rey how she’s doing, but she turns around fast, revealing bags under her eyes, and a worried expression on her face. After calming down, she reveals not only about what happened last night when she found the lightsaber, but also her past on how she was abandoned on Tatooine as a baby and her feelings about her she’s always felt like a nobody, and how she took comfort in hearing the tales and legends of the Jedi, the Old Republic, and the Rebel Alliance, wishing she could be a part of a grand adventure like that. However, now that she is on such an adventure, she’s starting to see it’s not as fun as she thought it would be, and even something inside of her is saying she’s getting in too deep. Finn comforts Rey, saying how he understands what it’s like to not have any other family to confide in, but says that if things do get ugly, he’ll be there to help her out.This helps Rey calm down just a bit, but she still says that she would like to go out and take a walk in the woods. Finn understands, but he says that she should at least take his blaster with her, just in case. She thanks Finn, and goes on her way. 

Rey goes out into the woods to clear her mind, while Finn goes back inside. Han, Maz, and Poe ask if Rey is alright. Finn says that he hopes so, but then he mentions how Rey has been out of it ever since she grabbed that lightsaber, which causes Maz to look up in surprise and worry. Han asks what she’s worried about, and she and the others go the room where the lightsaber is, seeing that its case has been opened. Finn goes up to inspect the lightsaber, feeling almost drawn to it, but when he touches it, he gets visions of his own. Visions of a baby being taken away from his father, and visions of the future featuring a growing army of sinister Stormtrooper-like droids with glowing, red eyes.Finn comes to, and is asked what’s wrong. Something in him tells him that they need to go and find Rey, now.

In the forest, Rey is feeling a bit better, and all seems quiet in the woods. Too quiet. Just then, she hears a roaring sound in the sky. The sound of spaceships. She looks up and sees First Order ships heading towards where the rest of the gang are, and runs back in an effort to help them escape. Unbeknownst to her, a figure in a dark cloak and mask follows her.

We see Zayla Ren and Captain Phasma leading a group of Stormtroopers to search and storm the area for the droid, the traitor, and the members of Resistance and Republic armies. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang is hiding away, forming a plan of attack that’ll buy them some time before the Republic’s ships show up. Finn volunteers to go after Rey, but Han objects, saying it’s better if they stayed together as a group. However, Maz says that if Finn feels that Rey might be in danger, it’s for the best that he goes after her. She gives Finn the lightsaber, saying that he must keep it safe, and that he must trust in his instincts to find Rey. With their plan formed, Han, Chewie, and Maz and her forces stay behind to hold the front line of the cantina, while Finn and Poe go off to find Rey.

While on their way, they end up encountering a few Stormtroopers, including Captain Phasma and good ol’ TR-8R. Finn holds back the Stormtroopers with the lightsaber, as they fight in armed combat, with a few troopers using the weapon TR-8R used, while a few have gained a new upgrade, inspired by the original drafts of the first Star Wars; lightsaber-esque swords.

Finn fights surprisingly well, but soon they seem to be outnumbered. But just when it seems like Poe is about to be struck down, an unseen presence suddenly drags half a dozen trooper in the air, and tosses them like ragdolls. Finn, Poe, and Phasma look to see the source of this, and we see a cloaked figure, brandishing a green lightsaber. A Jedi Knight. One of the two Jedi Knights we saw in the opening. The Jedi removes his hood and cloak to reveal a young man with brown hair. Jacen Solo. One of the Solo Twins.

Phasma at first orders her men to attack, but Zayla intervenes, saying that it’s best if Phasma goes off to handle finding the droid. The Jedi is her priority now. Much to Phasma’s chagrin, she follows orders, and leaves Jacen to Zayla. We then get the first half of our first lightsaber duel of this new story.

We cut to back in the woods with Rey, who’s been trying to make it back to the others, but she feels like someone is following her. Sure enough, her suspicions are correct, when she suddenly comes face to face with Kylo Ren. She backs off fast and pulls out the blaster Finn gave her, pointing it at an unfazed Kylo Ren. She trembles as holds it, threatening that she will use it on him. Again, Kylo remains silent and comes towards her. Rey, in a panic, wildly shoots at Kylo, but he merely deflects each blast with a wave of his hand. Kylo approaches her closer and closer, until another Jedi jumps in Kylo’s way, brandishing a purple lightsaber. The Jedi removes her hood to reveal Jaina Solo, the other Solo Twin.

And so begins our other lightsaber fight, which is going on simultaneously as the Zayla vs Jacen fight.

We cut back to the fight over on at the cantina, where it’s become a mini war-zone. Jacen is continuing his fight with Zayla, while Han and Chewie are defending BB-8. Meanwhile, Poe and Finn are fighting their way towards the woods where Rey is. On their way, they’re attacked by flying fighter droids (sort of like speeder bike-sized versions of those vulture droid fighters, only with a new design to fit with the First Order), and run into the forest for protection. As the droids prepare to attack our heroes, Finn puts his hands in front of him to shield himself, but suddenly the droids are Force-pushed back, and crash into the trees. Finn doesn’t know what he just did, and Poe just stands there with his mouth agape.

We cut to Han and Chewie and Maz, who’ve been holding out as long as they can. However, the tide suddenly turns when an X-Wing blasts a group of troopers and fighter-probes. Yes, backup from the Republic has finally arrived, with a few of their starships now hovering overhead, and some carriers starting to land. Zayla manages to match Jacen in skill in their lightsaber duel, but she is reluctantly forced to retreat, saying that Jacen is “lucky” this time, before distracting him and taking off.

We cut over to Kylo, still fighting with Jaina, and while they both seem to be evenly matched, Jaina has been mostly defending herself without intention of doing harm, as she can sense who it is underneath the mask. Kylo Ren demands to know why Jaina is holding back. He says “Is it because of guilt or pity? If so, then you are wasting your time.” Kylo manages to knock Jaina back, and says that she can’t change anything. He continues with saying that it is only through this path that he can truly achieve the power to bring order, and gain the power which the Jedi foolishly fear. Kylo goes on about how it’s too late for him, and that Jaina should just give up trying, but before he can do anything, he receives a message from Zayla to stop fooling around and leave with one of the force-sensitive users already. Kylo stops, and uses his Force powers to distract Jaina, and then Force Jump away from the fight, going after Rey. Rey, meanwhile, thinks she’s gotten far away enough, but is exhausted from her lack of sleep and running for so long. She stops to rest, but then Kylo Ren appears behind her, and he uses his Force powers to put her already exhausted self to sleep. He then takes on board his ship, just as Jaina catches up to him. 

Finn and Poe manage to spot Kylo’s ship, just as it takes off with him and Rey in it. They come across Jaina, and, both being worn out, ask if she could possibly explain what’s going on. She says she’ll explain on the way back, but then she notices the lightsaber Finn has, and asks where he got that from.

Back at the cantina, Republic forces have arrived, here to pick up Han Solo and the rest of the gang in order to bring them to the Republic capitol in order to blow the whistle on the First Order and the Confederacy. Among them are a few familiar faces, including R2-D2 and C-3PO, and, most importantly for Han Solo, Senator Leia Organa, his wife.

There’s a heartfelt reunion between husband and wife, along with Artoo and Threepio, with others soon joining them, as Jacen finally reunites with his mother and father, and Jaina soon makes the reunion complete as she arrives back with Poe and Finn. This family reunion however soon takes a darker turn, as Jaina brings up the news that she saw Kylo Ren, and faced off with him, which worries Han and Leia. It’s then revealed to Finn and Poe that Kylo Ren is actually the son of Luke Skywalker, and also that Finn has been carrying the lightsaber of Anakin Skywalker, the man who became Darth Vader.

Maz later explains to them how she was able to come across the lightsaber. It was thought to have been lost in Cloud City after Luke’s battle with Vader, but Maz says that some Cloud City personnel was able to find it. Not knowing the Jedi were to be reborn in a couple of years, the staff member sold it off for credits. Luckily, Lando and Maz were able to track it down, and managed to buy it back. They knew Luke wouldn’t want it back, so Han, Leia, and the rest decided that after fixing it up, it would be a gift to Luke’s son after he completed his Padawan training. Needless to say, those were the best laid plans of womp rats and men (I know this seems a bit much, but I wanted to fill in that hole where Luke’s lightsaber came back, and I wanted to give it some weight and meaning as to why it was brought back, besides nostalgia).

After Jaina explains that Rey has been kidnapped by the First Order and we learn of Kylo Ren’s identity, we cut to the Starkiller Base, where Phasma is being berated by General Hux for letting the droid fall into the hands of the New Republic. She assures him that she will not fail in the future, with Hux responding that she had better be sure of that, reminding her that she can be considered expendable if the time arises. Phasma walks off in a huff, and crosses paths with Zayla, who says that she doesn’t see any reason to be so upset, saying that she could be “lucky” and end up being shipped off to work in mines of Kessel, which Zayla hears are “simply lovely” this time of year. Phasma tells Zayla to mind her own business, and asks why Zayla isn’t as upset about their plans being found out.  Zayla says that while the UGC lost what they needed, she says that they managed to succeed in finding what’ll eventually be worth more than this hulking mass they call a battlestation. Zayla continues her little verbal spat with Phasma, saying that as they speak, Kylo Ren is interrogating their new “guest”, probing her mind before seeing what other uses she can be of for them. “Soon we shall have the precious data your troops failed to retrieve, and so much more”, Zayla says, and then she casually walks off, leaving Phasma to stew in her anger and resentment.

We cut to Rey, strapped to an interrogation chair. The beginning of the scene starts relatively similar to how it did in the movie, with Rey asking where her friends are. Kylo replies that she will be relieved that he has no idea, and asks if she still wishes to kill him and if she still fears him. Rey replies that it’s a natural reaction when you’re being hunted by a “creature in a mask”. After a moment of silence, Kylo removes his helmet, to finally reveal the face of Rey’s captor. We now see Kylo Ren’s true face, a young man with dark hair, and greenish-blue eyes, but also with a solemn look on his face, and a scar across one side of said face.

We go on with the scene playing a little bit like it did in the film, with Kylo asking about the droid, and Rey hesitating to give the full answers, and Kylo knowing what information the droid has, but there’s a twist in this, with Kylo saying that it’s not just that information he’s after. He also senses something within in Rey. Something his master is after. He probes Rey’s mind, sensing the fear, uncertainty, and apprehension within her. How she feels like she shouldn’t even be here. He assures her that her she is meant to be here, and tells Rey that things such as fear and hesitation makes one weak. He continues to search Rey’s mind, trying to go deeper. Yet, Rey tries to resist, making it difficult. Kylo demands that she stop resisting, but Rey keeps going on.

Both try their hardest, but then something happens. As Kylo stops trying to hold himself back into Rey’s mind, and as Rey, being surprised at how she’s even resisting him, pushes back, the two are suddenly mentally transported to this realm of utter darkness, where Kylo not only hears and even sees some events from Rey’s life, but Rey hears and sees some events from Kylo’s past, but some seem to be blurred. She hears a young boy crying out for his mother, and hears a sinister voice saying how someone will learn how to how harness the true power of the Dark Side, and suffering shall be his master, before there’s a flash of what appears to be lighting and a scream. Just then, both Rey and Kylo Ren come back to reality. Both are in shock, but Kylo Ren angrily brushes it aside, and orders a Stormtrooper to take Rey to her cell.

After the interrogation scene, we cut to the Republic/Resistance forces touching base on what’s going on, and giving us some exposition about what Jedi Council has been doing, and I was also thinking this would be a good time to give some exposition as to how Anakin Solo (Han and Leia’s other son from the old EU) disappeared and was presumed dead, and why that was one reason Ben/Kylo turned to the Dark Side. They also hint that “something else” also sent Kylo over the edge, but they don’t have time to explain, as they prepare to land on the new capitol planet of the New Republic, Hosnian Prime.

When our heroes land on Hosnian Prime, they are greeted by officials of the New Republic, here to congratulate Poe, Leia, Han, and the rest for safely retrieving the information they need on the existence of the Starkiller Base and the alliance between the First Order and the Confederacy. One of these officials is the Margaret Thatcher-esque, supposed ally to our heroes (and someone who most certainly isn’t secretly a traitor); Senator Holdeena (guess which character she’s based off of). She says that their valiant efforts are greatly appreciated, and that now all they need to do is convince the Senate and the Chancellor to take action. Finn and Jaina inform the Senator that they hope the Senate will take action soon, for a friend of theirs has been captured by the First Order.

We cut to everyone’s “favorite” part of Star Wars; a bunch of guys talking about politics in the Senate. Though, in this case, it’s a bit more interesting than trade routes.

The Senate discusses about whether or not to officially give full aid to the Resistance, and if a rescue mission is worth the tensions of spiraling into further conflict with the Confederacy and the First Order. Some representatives accuse Leia and Holdeena of warmongering, with the first vocal ones about it being reps from the Chiss (the race of which Grand Admiral Thrawn is a part of, mostly due to Thrawn being considered one of the founding fathers of what became the UGC). Leia argues that while the possibility of a war may occur, she says that the First Order has been carrying out numerous attacks for years, and, if these new documents are to be believed, all with the support and financial aid of the UGC/Confederacy. Leia says that she wishes to avoid full-out war with the UGC as much as possible, but requests that at least she and the Resistance members be given aid with a star fleet to help disable the weapon firing capabilities of the Starkiller Base, as well as be given clearance to stage a rescue mission. While still a risk, the deciding vote goes down to Chancellor Jorgeus Kartemur, who allows for a rescue mission, as well as an attack, but he grants them only a limited number of Republic fighters and carriers.

We cut back to Starkiller Base, where Kylo Ren is having an “emergency meeting” with Snoke, discussing how he was trying to probe Rey’s mind, but she was able to resist him, and then they inadvertently made a mental link with each other. Snoke says that it seems that this new “child of the Force” is strong. Very strong. Snoke then instructs Kylo to keep his guard up around her, and that she must not fall into the hands of the Jedi, especially those members of the Skywalker Clan. Kylo says he he will make sure Rey and other “children of the Force” will either join them or die, and ends his conversation with his master.

Kylo Ren goes off to be by himself in his room. There we get a scene reminiscent to the one from the actual movie, where he is talking to himself while staring at the broken mask of Darth Vader, only now he’s also discussing about he can’t go back to the Light. Not after what he’s already done, and he says that the Light Side cannot grant him the power he seeks. The power to undo the misery he’s endured. Kylo swears he will achieve that power, and “finish what [Darth Vader] started” (however, the more we get to know about Kylo/Ben’s backstory in this, it puts this scene into a whole new and different context).

We cut to the Republic-Resistance Alliance, going over the plans for a small group to secretly land on Starkiller Base, while a team of fighters, lead by Poe, will make their way to the main weapon reactor. Like in the film, comparisons are made to the Death Star, but here they really push this being even stronger than the Death Star, saying that the plans for it need to be examined even further before figuring out how to destroy it completely. It’s decided that those going on the rescue mission will be Han, Chewie, Finn, and the Solo Twins, along with a few red shirts. Han and the twins say goodbye to Leia, who is still worried about Ben/Kylo. They reassure her that they’ll be okay, and Jaina tells her she sensed the conflict within Ben. Finn wishes Poe good luck on his mission, and Poe says he would like to thank Finn for saving him. Finn, in turn, says thanks for believing and trusting in him, and they both head off to begin their respective tasks. After those little character-driven moments, we see the cruisers and ships take off for the Starkiller Base (oh, and in this version, they’re launching from Hosnian Prime, and not D'Qar).

We cut back to Rey, and we see that she’s mostly been sitting in her cell, with a Stormtrooper patrolling it, while occasionally going off to do something else (making the rounds, I guess?). However, Rey has been currently been trying to get out of her cell while the guard is away from the door, and has been using a device she helped fix back on Tatooine to see if she can open the door (I think Ezra from Star Wars Rebels used something like that one time, though I think this would be a bit different, considering she’s on the inside of the cell). However, the trooper comes back and almost catches her, berating her for trying to escape. He gives Rey her scheduled prison meal, and continues to mock her, taking away the device she had. Rey in a fit of frustration yells at at him to just leave her alone. Much to her surprise, the trooper says back in a monotone voice “I will leave you alone”. Rey, confused, remembers the stories of Jedi Mind Tricks, and, to test it out again, she tells the trooper that he will give her device, which he does. She then she uses it to tell him to leave the prison bay, and unlock the doors for her so that she may leave, and to leave his weapon. The trooper does all of this, and Rey manages to unlock the door, and then escape with the trooper’s blaster (I know this seems as asspull-ish as the original movie, but it’s leading to something).

We cut to the command center of the Base, where Hux is in a meeting with Prydus and Krazvlin, being informed how the Republic now knows of their secret location and their alliance, and could launch an attack any moment. Prydus says that if that superweapon of theirs is supposedly stronger the Death Star, why haven’t they used it to alienate the Resistance in one fell swoop? Hux says that it’s increase in power also means an increase in charging time, and that it requires a large amount of energy. Prydus says that whether it’s ready or not is irrelevant. If they can at least use at least fraction of its power against the Republic, use it while they still have the chance. Hux says he will see what he can do, but before he ends his conversation, Krazvlin tells him that if this really is more powerful than the Death Star, like Hux says it is, then that better mean that that battlestation is strong enough to avoid going down in a ball of flame.“This Confederacy has paid well over a thousand kings’ ransoms to fund this project. For the sake of your career, General, you best hope that it is worth the price.” says Krazvlin. Hux says he understands, and the meeting ends. Hux then orders his men to prepare the fleet of First Order and Confederacy ships for the arrival of any Republic dreadnoughts and Resistance fighters. Hux then says to himself that he’ll show them it’s “worth the price”.

We then cut over to Kylo Ren, who’s making his way over to Rey’s prison cell with Zayla Ren. As they’re walking, Zayla keeps getting on Kylo’s case about how instead of getting the information they need, he allowed her to see into his mind via a Force Link. Kylo defends himself while trying to keep his cool that he had no idea that would happen, and that it doesn’t matter, because with they’re combined strength, they can reach into the mind of their prisoner with ease. However, when they come to the cell, they find it’s been opened, and the guard is missing from his post. We don’t see Kylo’s facial reaction to this, because he’s wearing his mask, but we do hear his heavy breathing. Zayla makes one last stab at him, before leaving him to his “tantrum”. We see a scene similar to the movie where some Stormtroopers casually walk away, but there’s a third one Kylo Ren Force pulls towards him by the throat, and orders him to have the troops search for the missing prisoner, and bring him to her alive (I was thinking of reimagining this scene to have it appear slightly humorous, but then takes a dark turn when Kylo goes back to being threatening).

Speaking of Rey, we cut to her sneaking around the Starkiller Base, trying her best not to get caught. She does well in dodging the Stormtroopers for a while, but then she comes face to face with a few Stormtroopers. Low on options, she once again tries to do a Jedi Mind Trick, holding her hand out and doing the motion, while trying to get the Stormtroopers to let her pass.Though, to her surprise, it doesn’t work, and the troopers just stare at one another in confusion. Rey, tries it, saying “You will let me pass”, to which the troopers say, “No, we won’t”, and they raise their blasters. Thankfully, Rey shoots at them with the blaster she has first, and then runs off while they’re distracted, managing to lose them by some miracle. 

Rey is left more confused than ever (I wanted to make it clear that while she has potential, she’s not a god-mode character. Also, the idea of that scene was just too funny for to pass up.)

We cut to the Republic-Resistance Alliance fleet, preparing begin their mission. They first send out some troops and ships to distract the fleet surrounding the Starkiller, while Poe’s squadron goes in to destroy the firing device, while Han’s group goes in to rescue Rey, and to disable any remaining shields the base has.

The battle is intense, but they manage to buy enough time for Han, Chewie, Finn, the twins, and the red shirts to sneak aboard.Once on board, they use both Finn’s knowledge of the base, as well as the mini-map of the base they got from the plans, to navigate where they might find Rey and the shield controls.However, Finn gets a strange feeling inside him which tells him that Rey is somewhere other than the holding bay. Han doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but Jaina and Jacen say that Finn is onto something, as they sense where Rey is, and they make their way to her location.

Meanwhile, Hux is preparing to fire the Starkiller’s laser, and targets two of the 6 large Republic ships.The Starkiller Base charges its main laser, and opens fire on the two ships, wiping them out. From his ship, Poe hopes the rescue team is able to shut down the shields in time.

We cut to Rey, who, after also sensing the familiar presence of her new friends, is finally able to reunite with the gang. However, this reunion is short-lived, as Phasma and her guards have caught up to Rey, and try to surround heroes. Phasma insults Finn, referring to him by his number and calling him a traitor, and questioning why would he join such a pitiful band of miscreants Finn answers back by saying his name is Finn, and over the course of a few days he’s found more respect and companionship from this group of people than in all the time he’s spent in the First Order. Phasma scoffs at him, saying they’re still outgunned. Finn says that’s where she’s wrong, and smiles toward Jacen and Jaina. Taking the cue, the twins use their Force powers to go all Force Unleashed on the troopers, taking apart some of their weapons, while tossing around others. Some of the smarter troopers flee for their lives, leaving Phasma on her own (There’s also a small line where Jacen says, “Sorry if you knew any of those guys” and Finn says “Don’t worry, I didn’t”).

Just when it seems like they’re about to take her out, Phasma says that in exchange for her life, she can take them to the base shield control room. After making her promise that she won’t backstab them. Phasma takes the group to the shield controls, and turns them off. When asked by Jaina why she’s doing this, she says that she’s not the only “Force-wielding brat” she has an issue with. As the shields go down, the Republic-Resistance morale goes up, and they begin their direct attack on Starkiller Base. While the gang wonders what they should do with Phasma, with Han suggesting the garbage chute, they feel a huge rumbling, signifying the true attack on the base has begun. Phasma uses this as a distraction for her to escape. Before they can catch her, they’re stopped by Zayla Ren, who allows Phasma to get away. 

Jacen volunteers to fight off Zayla as part of a “Round 2” between them, while the others make their escape back to the ship. Jaina says she’ll help, but Jacen says that they still someone to take the new users back to “him”, and she reluctantly goes off. As Zayla and Jacen have their second battle, the rest of the crew head on over to the Falcon and the other small ships they used to get there.

While making their way to the ships to escape, they once again come across Kylo Ren, and we finally get to that scene, only it thankfully plays out differently, with certain characters getting out mostly okay (oh, and they’re not on a narrow platform when this happens).

Han confronts his nephew, calling him by his true name; Ben. Han tells Ben to take off the mask, which Ben does, revealing to Han and Jaina the scar he’s gained from his “training” with Snoke. Han is visibly disturbed by what he sees, demanding to know what Snoke has done to him. Kylo answers that Snoke has taught him more about the power of the Force than any other Jedi has. Han replies “Including your father?" 

Kylo hesitates, until he says that Luke did not hold the power of which seeks. Only through the path he is currently on, can he achieve it. Han says that Ben is talking nonsense, and asks him to look at himself. Han says that Ben has already seen what Jaina thinks of him in this state, and asks him to imagine what Jacen thinks of him. What his aunt think of him. And then Han says "What would Anakin think? What would your mother think?”

At first, it seems like Ben is conflicted, and has some wavering in his voice which seems like regret. But then he starts to slowly become more angry, telling Han that he doesn’t know him, and that he doesn’t know what Anakin or his mother would think.“You’re not her… You can’t possibly know how she could’ve felt.”

Han, his gruff exterior lowering, beseeches Ben to please come home, practically begging him at this point (I was even thinking you could hear him starting to cry, in a rare moment of weakness for his character). Ben, however, just keeps giving a hushed “no” to each plea, until he finally shouts it, Force-choking Han. Ben/Kylo says that he can’t be changed. This is what he is now. Han still pleads between gasps, but Kylo just lets his anger and pain out in one burst and violently force pushes Han into a wall, yelling “Just leave me alone!”

Han crashes into the wall, and is knocked unconscious, while debris from the surrounding area covers part of the lower half of his body. Kylo runs off, not looking back behind him. Jaina tells Chewie and the remaining red shirts to take Han back to Falcon, and get him medical attention ASAP. She goes after Kylo, with Rey and Finn following close behind, despite her warnings.

We cut to Poe and his squadron, finally being able to make it to the main defense reactor. Destroying it would mean that the Starkiller Base would be defenseless. And just in time, because it appeared to be charging for another blast.

We then cut back to Jacen and Zayla’s fight, where both the Jedi and the Would-be Sith have been pushing their limits, with their battle being so intense that make it to the outer, planet surface of the base. As they each try to outmatch each other, Zayla reveals a trick her twin-headed lightsaber can do; she’s able to split it in two, and wield them at the same time (drawing parallels to Asajj Ventress, once again).

We then cut back to Jaina, Finn, and Rey, who’ve caught up to Kylo Ren. 

Suddenly, Rey stops and recognizes this as the same snow-covered forest in her vision. Finn asks her what’s wrong, and she snaps out of it, regaining some of her composure.

Jaina fights off Kylo, while Finn goes off to attend to Rey after she’s been knocked back by Kylo. Jaina manages to fend Kylo off, but Kylo senses Jaina doesn’t want to hurt him, and tries to use this to catch her off-guard. However, Finn returns, with Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber. Kylo pauses, and recognizes that lightsaber from his father’s descriptions. He demands to know how Finn has it, and demands that Finn hand it over, but Finn says if he wants it so bad, then he should come and get it for himself, igniting the saber. Kylo is now facing two against one, and manages to hold his ground, but struggles. Kylo senses that Zayla is nearby, fighting Jacen. He mentally calls out to her for assistance, to which Zayla agrees, baiting Jacen to follow her to where Jaina, Finn, and Rey are.

It’s now three against two, but Zayla has a trick up her sleeve. Sensing that the twins are close, she uses lightsaber techniques to catch Jacen off-guard while he’s fighting her, and uses one lightsaber of hers to slash at his back, taking Jacen out of the fight. Jacen, wounded, falls over, as Jaina is distracted enough to be knocked back by Kylo. All that leaves is Finn, who is outmatched by the Knights of Ren, but still manages to be cornered by Kylo.

Rey has been coming to, and sees her friends in trouble. She becomes so filled with passion, that she lets out a huge “NO!!”, after muttering smaller nos (another parallel to Kylo), which causes a huge Force push which knocks back Zayla and Kylo (but mostly Zayla, who is now injured and out of commission). We then have the scene where Rey gets Anakin’s lightsaber, only Finn, Jaina and Jacen are all conscious enough to witness it. That, and instead of fully  defeating Kylo, Rey uses her skills she learned with her staff to compensate, but she’s still not managed to completely beat him, only fighting to a standstill (and it even seemed like Kylo might win, despite his injuries) when parts of Starkiller Base start to explode.

Snoke mentally calls out to Zayla and Kylo to retreat for now, but they will make sure the children of the Force will pay dearly for this humiliation. Zayla and Kylo retreat back into the non-explodey part of the base, while Rey and the others are left in the snow. Just then, a light above appears. The Millennium Falcon has arrived, and lands just in time for the rest of them to be picked up, and brought to the medical bay.

Meanwhile, Poe has successfully destroyed the main defense reactor, causing a chain reaction which greatly damages the Starkiller. A good chunk of the FO/UGC forces have also been trashed, and soon begin to retreat, with the Republic-Resistance Alliance having achieved a massive victory.

However, not all is well. Those on board the Falcon are taken to a medical bay on one of the ships (sort of like that ship at the end of Empire Strikes Back), with Jacen having to heal from the wound Zayla gave him, Han slowly reviving from Kylo’s attack, but still in a weak condition, and Jaina, Finn, and Rey being exhausted from the battle.

A week passes, and emergency power is turned on in the command center of the Starkiller. Hux is getting an earful from Krazvlin and Prydus, looking at the ground for much of the conversation. Krazvlin is losing his last bits of patience with the FO, while Prydus is all but foaming at the mouth. Hux does say to the Chairman and the Grand Admiral that while they may have failed today, the Starkiller Base is still in operation. With new upgrades and restructuring, they could have it rebuilt better than ever, and then truly make the Republic pay for this defeat. While Prydus is against it, Krazvlin agrees, on the condition that this will be the last chance on the Starkiller Project. Hux says he will not fail them, but says that they’ll need to regroup their thinking about the First Order, including the construction of a more stable and organized star fleet, as well as more effective soldiers. Prydus, having calmed down, says that is one alternative; a remnant plan from the days of the Empire. Prydus asks Hux and Krazvlin is they’ve ever heard of the “Dark Trooper Project”.

We then cut to Phasma, who is once again having a spat with Zayla Ren. Zayla says that Phasma looks like “something the nexu dragged in”, while Phasma tells Zayla that she’s not in her most “lovely” state, either. Phasma asks why Zayla seems so cheerful, saying that they lost control over their battlestation, and she lost those force-sensitive users as well. Zayla says while that is true, she also says she’s gained something else today. Phasma asks what that is. Zayla says “Oh, just your loyalty, and leverage”.

Phasma asks what Zayla is talking about. Zayla replies that she recalls having saved Phasma’s life twice now; once on Takodana, and few days ago she saved her from being thrown in a trash compactor. Phasma asks that because she was forced to rely on her once or twice, that now means she’s supposed to be indebted to Zayla. Zayla says “No, no, no, it’s not because of something so childish. It’s because I would hate to see someone like you be turned in for treason.”

Phasma is shocked by what she hears, stammering as she asks what Zayla means. Zayla says that she was around the area when Phasma decided to turn on them and turn off the shields to the base. Phasma says that Zayla must be bluffing, and this is another one of her foolish mind tricks. Zayla guarantees Phasma that it is no trick, and she produces a small data drive, saying it contains all the footage the security sensors were able to pick up. She tells Phasma “not to worry” as she managed to delete all the footage of her betrayal, and that all that’s left is within this drive. 

Phasma stammers once again, asking Zayla what she wants. Zayla says that all she wants is to help “protect” Phasma. After the fiasco that’s happened over the course of the past week, she’s been hearing about how heads will roll because of this, and she’s just making sure that Phasma’s won’t be one of them. Phasma remains silent, and Zayla tells her not to worry, because as long as she does what she says, “this ‘Force-wielding brat’ will help you stay in your cozy position, and maybe even get you promoted”. 

Phasma, knowing that she can’t do anything, resigns herself to Zayla’s service, which pleases Rayla as she goes her own way.

We cut to Kylo Ren, communicating with Snoke (I was thinking that now it would be via a hologram, instead of a force bond), saying that he has failed him. Not only have two potential allies to their cause slipped through their fingers, and but the First Order’s main weapon has been crippled. He expects punishment, but Snoke says that while that may be true, Kylo has also shown his willingness to stop holding back, and willingness to cut the ties he had in his “past life”. Snoke says to report to him in-person at his secret location, so that he may begin to complete his training, along with the training of the other Knights of Ren. Snoke says that Kylo is that much closer to achieving the power he so desperately craves; to power to be master over life and death.

We cut to our heroes, with some of them celebrating their victory, while others are more melancholy, seeing it as a bittersweet victory.

The Republic has lost two of its cruisers and some of their own fighters, and have stirred tensions even further with the UGC, which some view critically. However, they’ve also left the First Order licking it’s wounds, and many in the Senate are seeking to pursue economic sanctions against UGC groups who were associated with the First Order.

And it’s also bitter for our heroes. Han is still breathing, and he’s regained consciousness, with Leia at his side, but he’s also hurt emotionally, wondering if the nephew he loved really is gone.

Unlike the movie, Finn is still conscious, but he’s still recovering from the fight with Kylo and Zayla, as is Rey, who he finds sitting by herself, looking a bit forlorn. Poe comes up to Finn, and says she’s been like this for a long time. Mirroring the talk on Takodana, Finn goes up to Rey, but this time Poe accompanies him. Finn and Poe try to comfort Rey, who’s trying even to comprehend all that’s happened in the past week or so. She’s wanted adventure all her life, and thought it would be fun and exciting, and while she admits she’d be lying if it wasn’t fun making fools out of First Order troops, she’s also scared about her encounters with the Knights of Ren, who apparently want her because of Force powers even she can’t understand. Finn and Poe comfort her, while also informing Rey of Finn going through instances similar to Rey’s, where Finn says that he might be also be in tune with the Force, and reaffirms that if there’s any trouble she’s in, he’ll be there to help, with Poe joining in on that declaration of friendship, and they share a big group hug.

After that’s over with, Jacen (who has recovered, mostly) and Jaina approach the trio, saying they must discuss something of vital importance.

Later on, they are discussing with Leia and the trio that from what they’ve seen and what they’ve felt within Rey and Finn, that they are two of the Force sensitive users their master told them to find and protect

The gist is that Luke sent them out to find new Force sensitive students for him and the Jedi Council to train, and that Jacen and Jaina are merely two of the Jedi Knights he’s sent out on this mission to comb the galaxy for potential Force users, young and old, to help train them in the ways of the Force, to combat the growing evil presence behind both the Knights of Ren and the First Order. However, in order to throw off suspicion from the First Order, Luke decided that while some of his new students should be trained by him personally, it would be best if others were to be trained under the guidance of the Masters of the Jedi Council who are currently standing in for Luke while he is in hiding.

The twins decide to take Rey to Luke, and that Finn must be brought to the New Jedi Council.

Rey doesn’t know how to feel, considering while she wants to discover the mystery behind her new power, which could also lead to the mysteries of her past and the visions she’s had, she’s also apprehensive because she was just reunited with Finn, Poe, and the rest of the people she’s just come to now as the only friends and family she’s ever had. Jaina and Jacen assure her that this is not goodbye for her and friends, and Finn and Poe reassure Rey that though they may be apart physically, they’ll always be together in spirit, and will wait until her training is complete.

Although still having mixed thoughts, Rey still agrees to go, and Finn agrees to meet with the Jedi Masters on the Council.

They all say their goodbyes to each other, with Jacen deciding to take Finn to the Council and the Academy, while Jaina takes Rey to where Luke is hidden.

Leia and Han (the latter of whom currently having to temporarily use a hover chair while he recovers), say to them as they begin to depart “May the Force be with you, always.”

Just before they leave, however, Finn says for Rey to keep Anakin’s/Luke’s lightsaber. Rey objects at first, but Finn says that while Luke may not need it, she likely will, and tells her not to worry, since he’s always been a bit better with a blaster, anyway.

With everything said and done, both Jacen and Jaina’s ships take off for their respective planets.

We then cut back and forth to Rey and Finn on board Jaina and Jacen’s ships, respectively, nervous about the whole situation, wondering what’s going to happen to them. While in thought, they’re alerted that they’ve arrived their respective destinations.

Finn and Jacen arrive on the planet home to the Jedi Council and the Academy, Dantooine (Luke decided to move the Council and the Main Temple far away from Coruscant, and also has a temple and academy on Yavin IV, like in the old EU), while Jaina and Rey arrive on the planet with the Ancient Jedi Temples we saw at the beginning of the “movie”. 

Finn and Jacen arrive on Dantooine where they stop in front of pristine structure of the enclave of the Jedi Temple. Jacen says he has important business with the Council scheduled, and they’re led to them.

Meanwhile, Jaina and Rey arrive on the world where Luke is, where it appears that other Jedi Knights are arriving with other Force-sensitive users, young and older.

Also, just to note, Luke abolished the rule of taking Force-sensitive people when they’re children or babies, opting instead to either have them be trained closer to home, so that they can still go back as if it were school, or have their families come along with them, where they provide for them as well (this especially happens with poor families with Force-sensitive children, who wish to have a better life). 

Anyway, Jaina takes Rey to the main ancient Jedi Temple, where Luke is waiting.

We then get another back and forth scene where we cut between the scenes of Rey and Finn meeting their new masters. 

With Finn, we’re brought to the Jedi Council room, where two figures have their backs turned from them, and are looking out the window. Jacen says that he trusts they sensed why they are here. The female figure in the white robes says that they have. Jacen then formally introduces Finn to the Jedi Masters whom Luke left in charge while he was away, and the ones who will help him train him.

The two Masters turn around to reveal an older human man, with a slight scar on his face, and faded brown-gray-ish hair, yet with smile on his face, and a Togruta woman, with also a warm smile on her face.

The Torgruta woman removes her hood, and welcomes Finn to the Jedi Order, and they each introduce themselves as Jedi Masters Ashoka Tano and Kyle Katarn.

Finn is in awe of actually meeting two legendary Jedi Masters.

At the same time, Jaina brings Rey to where Luke is, practicing his Force meditation, currently even levitating a bit from the ground, as certain small objects levitate around him (sort of like he was supposed to be introduced in TFA before changes were made). Jaina pardons her interruption, but she says she’s brought one of “children of the Force” he sensed, and that Rey apparently has something for him. Luke slowly stops his levitating, and the objects around him follow suit. He stands up, and thanks Jaina, to which she says that it was no trouble (a small joke on her end), before calling Luke “uncle”.

Rey steps forward to the man, who turns around and removes his hood to reveal the face of the one who destroyed the Death Star, the one who helped restore the Jedi Order, and the one who brought Anakin Skywalker back over to the Light Side so that he could finally bring balance to the Force; Luke Skywalker.

After a moment of staring in awe, Rey realizes something and remembers what Jaina just said, as well as what Poe said earlier, and takes out the lightsaber Luke once wielded, and his father before him. She presents it to him, thinking he might still want it back as a keepsake. She reaches out to hand it him, but before she can, Luke holds up his hand, and says with a solemn, yet warm smile “No. It’s not mine, anymore.”

Rey is taken aback, but then Luke says that if she so desires it, that lightsaber is now hers. Rey is even shocked now, and Luke simply says with a nod, “Welcome, Rey. As of now, your training has begun.”

We then get a scene where we pan back, and see both the scenes of the new Jedi apprentices standing before their new masters, side by side.

The End of Episode VII

Some fitting music to cap it off:

And that is officially my rough storyline pitch for my rewrite of The Force Awakens. I hope you at least enjoyed some of it, because I have big plans for it in the future, when I come up with the other two story outlines for this trilogy.

Again, feel free to ask me what I have in mind for this “rewrite trilogy”. along with any other questions which spring to mind.

However, I will say this; I will try to treat the original trilogy characters as well as I can, show that their efforts weren’t for nothing, and that everything will turn out right for them in the end.

Until next time, when I come up with the story outline for the next part in this rewrite trilogy:

Episode VIII:The Lost Jedi

[psyga315]

Rewriting a Mykan fanfic: Hate of the Sea

I don’t have a hatred towards Dakari King Mykan and I don’t think he’d want any pity. When he isn’t guided by biases or how he wanted something to end, he can write decent stories. No blockbusters but definitely not bad.

However, that’s the problem with Mykan. He views life in a way that’s so cynical, that even I, a guy who has quite a lot of cynical fanfics up his sleeve (including some rewrites that are darker than the shows they try to fix), reel in disgust. Mykan is a guy who goes out of his way to make a character from My Little Pony have a miscarriage because he didn’t like how she represents love. And that was just the one of two options people got to vote for. The other was killing off her husband for that exact same reason. The lightest story he wrote that I read was about a down-on-his-luck character-of-the-week from Inuyasha ends up getting together with the woman he loved.

So, I decided to use my slightly optimistic approach to stories to write up an alternate take on Mykan’s story: Hate of the Sea, a Little Mermaid fanfic where Mykan’s intent was to give Ariel and Melody a lesson about the real world, that not everything has a happy ever after ending… And I’m not sure if he’s read up on how the original Little Mermaid ended.

First off, let’s change that theme. We’ll still teach Ariel and Melody a lesson about the real world, but a lot less cynical: the cycle of revenge. Yes, yes, roll your eyes, but before Neil Druckmann destroyed that message to hell and back (along with some unpaid employees), the tale of someone wanting revenge and the pain of actually going through with it is an interesting tale that has multiple outcomes depending on your outlook. Do you want to be a cynic and show how revenge can make someone as ugly as the person who wronged them in the first place? An optimist who wants to show a more peace filled solution to the conflict? Someone who just wants someone to say “payback is a bitch” and leave it at that? Or are you a middle-of-the-road guy who observes the theme and stretches it out to its logical conclusion?

And, best part is, the ground work is already laid out for us. If you can, read Hate of the Sea to see what I’m talking about. You’ll get a better idea of where I’m going with this. For now, though, let’s start at the beginning. Things stay relatively the same, with a throwaway line about how Tip and Dash, Melody’s sidekicks in Little Mermaid 2, returned to the arctic because it’s summer time. The immediate change will be Count Aquis’s minions: Electricon and Angelicon.

A slight change though, making them more mystical than the sudden technological shift, to better tie in with the mythos of the Little Mermaid, so no piranha missiles. Also, I’d probably rename them because they’re honestly generic (and would be better for Transformer faction names anyways) but the best I can think of is Eelektross for Electricon and I think that’s already taken. Think I’ll go with Uma for the Angel monster and Leech for the Eel.

The biggest change, though, comes in Count Aquis. I’ll give more details later, but the long story short of it is that he’s looking for Melody. We don’t know this at first, instead having him vaguely saying “where is she” and giving the wrong memo that he meant Ariel. The group is successful in sacking a town and capturing mermaids. They leave the mermen and other sea creatures be. Upon seeing Triton, he has it out for him and tries to kill him, only for Flounder to take the blow.

Flounder retreats to the surface to warn Ariel of her impending danger while Triton faces Aquis off, leaving his fate unknown. Melody’s interactions with Samuel stays the same. Scuttle comes by later that night to deliver an injured Flounder who warns that there’s a terrible threat in the ocean that’s looking for Ariel. The first conclusion they reach is that it’s someone with a connection to Ursula, given the last person who gave them trouble was her sister, but Flounder gives them a description of the man and even says how his hate seems to know no bounds… He then passes away, signifying that this is serious business. Ariel mourns for her closest friend as Eric and Melody comfort her.

Cut to Aquis, where I don’t change a lot of what happens. I think increase the bickering between Leech and Uma and showcase their characteristics a bit more. I kinda see a Sidorak and Roodaka (from Bionicle) relationship between them where Leech is the brawn who thinks he’s top of the world and Uma is the brains who seeks Aquis’s sole approval, though that’s probably because I recently seen a review of Web of Shadows and thought Roodaka was a cool villain. That or increase the Jindrax/Toxica relation and have them bicker, yes, but still show how much of good friends they are.

Either way, Aquis cares not. He wants Melody no matter what. We also see his sea-mutants, horrific mishmashes of sea creatures (If you played Impossible Creatures, you’ll have some idea of what I mean), and how little he cares of them, as he eats a shrimp-jellyfish hybrid right in front of Leech and Uma to emphasize what kind of punishment they would receive should they fail him. They go on their way as Aquis looks at the amulet he has… and cries.

As before, Melody’s interactions with Samuel are the same, but Samuel’s discussion about his master is changed. Instead, he reveals that he was adopted by a person and is considered to be a father to him. Basically, he doesn’t have the “used to be a street rat until Aquis found me and paid me to do his dirty work”. This adds a little more mystery to who the “Surface Agent” is. Another thing to note is that Samuel was orphaned as a baby in a shipwreck and, eerily enough, he’s about a year or so older than Melody, which causes the people who’ve seen the Little Mermaid to go “ooooooooh nooooo…”

Instead of coming across Leech and Uma, Samuel comes across a new person: Professor Aquarius, his adoptive father. At first, Samuel is excited about the new girl he met and how he’s in love. Aquarius seems to be proud of him until he says that her name is Melody. Aquarius then scowls, but doesn’t say anything. Last thing he wants is to invoke Romeo and Juliet on his son. Instead, he encourages him to keep hanging out with Melody, even giving him a pat on the back, which turns out to be a leech-dolphin hybrid that latches onto the nape of his neck and emits sonar for him to sense.

To confirm who he is, Aquarius feels his skin drying up as he gasps for air. He then runs to an already filled tub and slams his head into it, his face shedding any human features in trade for the more ferocious looking face of Count Aquis. The next chapter opens with Aquis returning to his lair, with Uma asking if he managed to find the girl. He says yes, but they need to wait for the right time. Uma asks if Aquis loves the surface so much that he would abandon his mission. She sings a song to the tune of the Reversed Song of Healing (The notes will be reversed, meaning it’d be preformed without the song actually going backwards, if that makes sense) that reminds him of years gone by.

At this same time, this is where we get the info dump on who Professor Aquarius was from Eric, who learned of him when he was a kid. While Aquarius was denounced as a madman for concluding his research in intelligent life in the sea with “there’s mermaids!”, he managed to hook up with an idealist whose mind was wide open and they went sailing in search for the mermaids, vowing to find a way to live underwater so that drowning wouldn’t be a fate.

However, as Eric says how they disappeared off the face of the earth, the song becomes a harsh, oceanic operetta where we see a flashback to Aquarius and his wife, who is holding a newly born baby, braving through a storm. Flashes of lightning shows a silhouette of a figure emerging from the water with a strong glow. Then, lightning hits the ship, destroying it and separating Aquarius from his wife and daughter. We see the wife land, only to see the mast fall on top of her (with that traditional Disney cut away to show Aquarius’s reaction). The baby ends up being swept in the sea as Aquarius falls ever deeper in the midnight sea…

It then cuts to Aquis’s crying face as he wipes his tears. Uma lets Aquis mourn in peace and solidify his feelings for revenge. She then goes to Leech, who is annoyed and asks “how much longer do we need to put up with that crybaby?” To which she responds: “patience, he’ll get what we need soon enough and then…”, and, as a cruel call back, she too eats a shrimp-jellyfish to show what she means. They then hear metal break and they go to investigate it.

Eric decides to break the tension by asking Melody how the date went, much to her embarrassment. However, before they could discuss any further, they hear a cry for help and immediately go despite the clear warning against going into the sea. There, they see a woman trying to escape the clutches of Leech and Uma. Ariel and Melody manage to get them away, with Sebastian having in on the action.

“Dat one’z for Flounda, ye beeches!” as he snips on Leech’s tail.

They rescue the woman and bring her to safety. They find out her name is Atta and that she was imprisoned with members of a resistance force who had been fighting Aquis for twenty years. She explains more about who Aquis is and why he didn’t intervene during Little Mermaids 1, 2, 3, and the show (long story short, the resistance kept Aquis busy and his goals would conflict with the Octo-sisters and Marina anyways), and also tells Ariel that Triton’s alive and is recovering at her place. Ariel wants to go, but Eric tries to stop her, saying that they barely made it out of fighting Leech and Uma alive and that it would be safer if they remained on dry land.

Melody, however, insists. Samuel gets involved as well, and he joins the party. Instead of a pill that turns Eric and Samuel into the N64 Zora, it’d be a magic amulet that Triton had been crafting ever since Melody destroyed the wall and reunited humanity with mermanity. Atta leads them to the resistance HQ known as Sanctuary and red flags blare up when she insists no one tell anyone where it is.

Triton and Ariel reunite, though not without bringing up how Flounder died. Triton is a bit remorseful, but we don’t know why. Likewise, Samuel looks to be intimidated by Triton’s presence, something that Melody notices. She just assumes it’s because Triton has a six pack or some other silly reason. Triton then explains what he knows of Aquis, or rather, his master, Oceanus.

Oceanus was a Titan who dueled with Triton’s father, Poseidon and the battle rendered the seas blood red (hence the Red Sea) and they had no means to defeat Oceanus. So, they used a planetary alignment of every planet up to Saturn to open up a gate to Tartarus and seal Oceanus up. Keen-eyed viewers will note that the bars have been broken and they had to fix it, reflecting how this took place after Hercules.

As far as Triton’s concerned, Oceanus is still sealed up, but he has an idea on who Aquis is… He says that he might be Oceanus’s prophet. Someone who lives only to serve Oceanus. Later on, Melody and Samuel chat and while Samuel doesn’t say much, what he does say solidifies their love for each other. As Melody goes to talk with her parents, Uma and Leech tell him that he needs to break the barrier. As Samuel refuses, the leech begins to dig deep into his neck and the blood begins to attract sharks. Uma reveals through this that she’s the one who is able to mutate the creatures to be hybrids. Leech wraps himself around Samuel and tells him flat out that if he doesn’t do as they say, he’s dead.

Samuel is forced to go to his chagrin. Meanwhile, Atta talks with Ariel about the struggles of being a mother, to which Atta replies that she has no family, or any memory of one. All she does is serve the resistance. Up to the betrayal, it plays out normally. The only change would be Samuel trying to say why he was afraid of Triton, only for Aquis emerges to capture Melody. She begs Samuel to help her, but Samuel frowns.

“You did well, son.” Aquis pats Samuel on the back and tells Melody that he was the one who rescued him from the storm. When Melody asks if he’s lying, Samuel confirms, then grips his fists.

“This was all… for what your grandfather took from me that night!” Samuel said as Melody is knocked unconscious. She then wakes up in a cell where Samuel sees her as they have a rather sad duet about how Samuel could never be part of any world, not because he backstabs people, but because he does it out of the hatred in his heart. Out of spite. The sad thing is, he’s painfully aware of it and knows that what he has to do next will destroy his bond with Melody: avenge his parents by killing Triton.

Back at the Sanctuary, it gets invaded by Leech and Uma in an attempt to crush them. They succeed and take them prisoner, including Ariel and co. Samuel awaits in a chamber with Aquis and asks why they must harm Melody. Aquis then explains how Melody is a product of true love and that destroying it would cause even the cosmos to despair and lend its energy to Oceanus. Samuel frowns before Aquis reminds him that Triton brought this onto himself.

Because Eric is captured too, we cut a large chunk out that I felt was unneeded. So, Eric wakes up with the rest as Aquis comes in. This is the first time he sees Aquis. He also sees Melody on an altar and puts two and two together, demanding that Aquis lets her go and even offering to take her place. Aquis wants none of this and seaweeds his mouth shut. He then explains that he’ll sacrifice Melody to Oceanus and destroy the entire sea level. Eric bites through the seaweed and demands to know who Aquis is.

Aquis takes off his mask as we see a gillman version of Aquarius with pointed teeth. They all retch at his form, even Samuel, as he explains that he would have died during the storm if it wasn’t for Oceanus offering a helping hand. In trade for servitude, Oceanus would give him the means to conduct revenge. He then forces Triton to confess. Triton frowns and we get another view of that operetta where we see the man with the glowing power was actually Triton.

Ariel wonders why he would do such a thing, to which Triton confessed that he was grieving for Athena, his wife, and wanted revenge and so killed any humans who would dare swim over Alantica. He mellowed out when Ariel met Eric, obviously, but that’s when Samuel calls him out. This is the first time Eric and Ariel see Samuel on the villain’s side, but as soon as he brings up his pain, they understand.

“ADMIT IT! YOU KILLED MY PARENTS TOO! YOUR XENOPHOBIC FERVOR RUINED MY LIFE!” Samuel cries out.

“… Yes… I did it. It’s all my fault. I’m the reason your parents are killed… Please, if it satisfies you… Kill me instead. Oceanus would be pleased to know the blood of Poseidon’s only son will sate his thirst than a granddaughter.” He accepts his fate…

But Aquis wants none of it. He tells Samuel to kill Melody and let her blood attract Oceanus out of prison while the eclipse is about to begin. Samuel looks over Melody, who defiantly stares at him, as though goading him to do it. Samuel cries and says “I’m sorry”…

Before impaling Aquis with his dagger. He says that he’ll take up Triton’s offer and frees Melody. Melody, however, attacks Samuel and the two struggle over the dagger. Ariel is moved to tears at seeing what would have been lovers driven to try and kill each other. We’re not gonna make it too violent, just grabbing each other and tussling around.

Uma and Leech come in to Aquis’s aid, or rather, to kill the mermen (and Eric), but as soon as Uma sees Ariel, she takes the time to gloat about how her happily ever after will be a happily never after. Melody warns Ariel of her mutant controlling powers and Eric manages to deck her in the face. Triton recognizes Uma’s witchery and calls her out for learning under Ursula. Uma laughs… Ursula isn’t her teacher. She’s her mother.

Eric’s like “let me guess, you want revenge too?”, but then she laughs. She never knew her mother personally and in order to have hate, you would need to know what love is. She only wants to bring Oceanus back so that she can do what her family failed to do long ago: rule the ocean. While this is going on, Melody gets the upper hand and holds the dagger over Samuel’s neck… She struggles… then drops the dagger and cries. She doesn’t want to kill her first love. She lets Samuel go after tossing the dagger away and Samuel has no idea what to do…

He then sees Uma approach the trident that had been locked up and takes it for herself, smiling at the fact that she’ll be the third member of her family to wield the power to shape the oceans as she sees fit… As she uses it to cause lightning storms, Samuel has flashbacks to when he was a baby. His family was caught in a rough storm and one thing he remembers was a large silhouette of a creature with many tendrils holding the Trident.

Those same tendrils emerge from Uma as she uses the Trident. He began to draw his conclusion and, in a rage, tackles Uma to the ground, knocking her and causing the Trident to hit Leech. Leech has a dumb muscle moment where he goes “I don’t feel so good…” before fading away. Uma sees Leech disappear and is distraught. She then glares at Samuel and tries to kill him, only for his fist to punch her face.

“YOU DID IT?! DIDN’T YOU!? YOU KILLED MY PARENTS!” Samuel shouted. Melody pulls him away as Uma gets up. Now she’s lusting for revenge. Aquis, however, gets up and is armed with the Trident. Samuel quickly breaks the group out and now we get a free-for-all, but, without the trident, they can’t win. Atta gets close to killing him… But then notices something familiar. She remembers a man over her crib, singing a lullaby version of Under The Sea. The man? Aquarius.

“Dad?” She asks. Aquarius is confused… She then recites the song. Sebastian just gives the dude the stink eye and goes “dood, ya reep aff mah sheet, mon?” Aquarius remembers his own daughter and holds her tightly. Atta then remembers what happened that night. As she sank to the ocean, Triton managed to save her life and, believing her life would be better off as a mermaid, turned her into one.

Aquarius is both mad and glad at Triton for saving his daughter. He had no idea how to react… Nor will he have the chance as Uma claws into Aquarius.

“You took away the one thing I cherished in this cesspool of an ocean… Now… I take away your lives!” She then causes him to bleed profusely, the blood being used to summon Oceanus. Oceanus takes over the body of Aquis and he has a tentaclelike aura kinda like Ashitaka’s arm from Princess Mononoke, just to emphasize the theme of hate. And, like before, Oceanus eats Uma to boost his powers.

The final battle commences like normal, except that Aquarius’s actions are “be a monster”. Samuel and Melody manage to impale the possessed Aquis and, as Oceanus began to retreat, Triton zaps him with the Trident, rendering the weakened Titan into nothing but sea foam. The oceans are returned to normal.

The final chapter is where things are completely different. Aquarius lays dying from his wound. Triton approaches Aquarius and apologizes for his crimes. Aquarius smiles and says how he managed to do good in his xenophobic rage… He then pleads to Triton to take care of Atta for him before he dies. Atta grieves for her father, but doesn’t let it turn into rage. She instead asks Triton to make her a human so that she could live where her father once lived, to be a part of his world.

He complies, makes her human, and then goes to Samuel, who feels conflicted with the whole ordeal, asking Triton what actually happened that night. Triton mentions Uma’s mother, Ursula, and how she terrorized the ocean for a brief while. As far as he was concerned, the ship he was on was completely wrecked and there were no survivors. When he said it was his fault, he refers to how she managed to get the Trident in the first place: through manipulating Ariel who had been criminally neglected. Samuel looks over to Aquarius and mourns him, saying how he was a father when he had none and now that he’s gone, there’s nothing left to look forward to.

Atta offers a home with her, saying they’ll pick up the pieces together. Samuel jumps on the offer, then goes to Melody, apologizing for the betrayal and nearly killing her grandfather. She does the one thing he has no idea how to react to: She forgives him. She forgives Aquis. And like that, the cycle of revenge ends… But… For someone who all their life had knew nothing but hate of the sea… That’s not enough.

He apologizes to Melody, but even though he’s forgiven by her, he still can’t forgive himself, especially with his feelings towards Triton not going away any time soon. So, he departs with Atta, much to Melody’s sadness, but the overall note is that, once he’s gotten over himself, he’ll reunite with her, as we see a year later where he return to Melody, a better man now.

We end with the two sharing a kiss as we zoom out to the ocean, ending the Little Mermaid 4: Hate of the Sea and the overall moral being that revenge is a painful cycle and it only ends with forgiveness.

[winkyjinki]

author asks 1-30 GO!

WHEW OK STRAP IN BUCKO (I already answered 1&29 uwu)

2. When you’re writing a new story, what is the one thing you need to know before you can start?

This is gonna sound so like “duh bitch” but I always need to know AT LEAST how I want it to end. Or like the almost-end. Bc it’s like if you know where you want to go then you can figure out how to build up to that moment. 

They always say it’s not abt the destination, but the journey. But like in this case, you need to know the destination to figure out the journey oop--

3. How do you know when a scene is “done”?

This is gonna sound so vague but like... when I feel like it’s complete? Like when I think it’s served its purpose in the fic.

In theatre, every single scene has a purpose in building up to the climax & resolution, so I always try to make sure that each scene has served its purpose in moving the plot along/gives you something for a later plot point.

4. How do you know when a chapter is “done”?

Ummm... I try to end it at a good point. Honestly this is the hardest for me because I always want to end it at a good point but also where it feels like the equivalent of a half-cadence in music (it doesn’t feel complete).

That’s like my best explanation.

5. How do you know when a story is “done”?

I think my story is done when I’ve neatly wrapped up the plot to my liking while also leaving as little loose ends as possible.

This is a boring answer lmao but it’s really my best explanation.

6. Where do your titles come from?

Most of my titles come from songs that my fics remind me of. I try to make it be like ~poetic~ bc I can’t come up w titles from the pits of my brain but I can def try to find the perfect song lyric LOL

7. How do you feel about prologues?

I feel like it’s really useful for setting some background info that you want to reference but don’t actually want to explain in the main story LOL but it’s def not necessary

8. How do you feel about epilogues?

Another thing that I feel is def not necessary but sometimes you want a little “what happens next?”...as a treat

9. Do you tend to have an external narrator or use one of the characters?

I like the idea of using a limited POV, so I like to use one of the characters for narration. Bc in my opinion it’s a little much when you’re like spending so much time being ~omniscient~ but that’s just my opinion.

10. Does your narrator move from character to character? 

Ummm honestly it depends for me. Like for me it’s like...if the story calls for it in my heart. 

I usually like to keep it to one character unless I’m planning a more complex story that calls for a lot of different POVs!

11. What punctuation do you love too much?

Bruh... Commas, semicolons and this bitch (–) are my holy grail I feel like I’m the queen of run-on sentences.

12. What punctuation do you hate with a passion?

Okay I don’t HATE them but I really don’t like the overuse!!!!! of exclamation points!!!!!! I use them a lot when I’m just posting about stuff I’m really passionate about like that’s cute I just am not too crazy about that in like prose & creative writing. I wouldn’t say it’s a pet peeve, per se, but it’s just not my cup of tea :/

13. What grammar tends to cause problems when you’re writing?

Idek what this means but like I guess I struggle with writing verbs in the right POV bc, like I said, I'm the queen of run on sentences so I tend to lose focus on what’s the subject of the sentence.

14. What’s the one word you can never spell/use properly, no matter how hard you try?

I am actually illiterate so I always end up misspelling words ALL the time just bc like my brain will turn off. I used to use the word “futile” incorrectly all the time but once I like actually found out how to use it correctly, I’ve been pretty good :0

15. How do you write a really good metaphor?

Bro when I figure it out I will SHARE

I don’t have a strategy--sometimes I just write good ones and idek how it happened oof--

16. What is your best piece of advice for writing angst scenes?

If you are HURTING by the time you’re done with it, you did it right. When I write angst, I know it’s good if my heart hurts by the end of it LOL

17. What is your best piece of advice for writing hurt/comfort scenes?

Kinda the same as 16, like it hurts but in a better way. This will probably also be the same as my answer for 22, but if it just makes you soft, you’re doing well.

Soft & hurt is the combo you need for that.

18. What is your best piece of advice for writing comedy scenes?

I like to share these scenes with people (beta readers, friends, etc.) and see how they receive them. Even if they don’t laugh like SUPER HARD, I think it’s worth keeping if they make positive comments and they say stuff like “That’s a mood.” or “I related to that hard.” bc in my humble opinion that’s good enough for me.

I’m working on a Trashmouth comedy special series, and I literally just read the skits to my friends and see what lands and what doesn’t.

I just like to treat any comedy scene as a comedy skit. Just see what lands !

19. What is your best piece of advice for writing action scenes?

Oh man, I don’t do a lot of those, so I don’t really have much advice for that :( maybe in like a year I’ll have something for that lollll

20. What is your best piece of advice for writing smut scenes?

Now I’m no expert on doing the dirty, but I did read up on how to write like...good sex scenes....and a lot of the sources say to (in my own words) overload on thought and emotion. 

Like honestly I don’t read smut for the sex (I mean like.... I get hype when my ship gets nasty but that’s beside the point), I read it to see how someone comes undone for their lover and I think that’s IMPORTANT. Tbh anyone can write sex, but like I need that connection.

21. What is your best piece of advice for writing romance scenes?

Overload on that thought and emotion, dude. Make your heart THROB. I like to make this a matter of building tension and setting the release. Like no I will not be giving you that kiss yet bc that’s too easy. Build it up a little bit.

Talk about slow burn

22. What is your best piece of advice for writing fluff scenes?

If you read it and you feel like you might explode from how much these characters love each other, you are doing amazing, sweetie.

23. How do you balance your characters in an ensemble story?

I like to list out the primary, secondary, and side characters and figure out where they come in the story, what the relationships are, what purpose they serve the plot, stuff like that.

In a theatre standpoint (obviously), any character in a play has their own purpose and without even one of them, you can’t wrap that story up neatly. Like in Ancient Greek plays, even the smallest part played an integral part in moving the plot along.

24. How do you balance your characters when there are only a two or three in a story?

I like to think about what purpose each character serves in the story. I also like to think about whether this story revolves around one character, or if it delves into each character’s story and they kind of intertwine. Maybe they’re family or a team or roommates, or maybe they’re strangers whose lives are connected in some way if you wanna take that route.

I think when there are so little characters, you get more room to make them their own people. And you have that possibility of making it a collection of stories that come together without making it so confusing.

I think about that in, like, a theatre standpoint obviously.

25. How do you create an original character?

AAA I’ve never really made an OC but honestly I like to think it’s like making a sim LOL I’m so sorry to EVERYONE who’s ever made an OC.

I don’t even remember was my OC building process was like when I wrote original stories in, like, middle school.

26. How do you go about world building?

Oof ok I’ve been writing fanfic for as long as I can remember so that’s kinda cheating a little bit LOL it’s self explanatory.

But in the few original stories I’ve written (and honestly even when I write for some AUs), I base a lot of things on my own reality. So like people I know, places I like to go to, events that have taken place in my lifetime, they’re like the template, and depending on the nature of this world (realistic, fantasy, modern, futuristic, etc), that’s like how I’ll mold it to be part of that world.

27. Do you try to do most of your research ahead of writing (when research is necessary) or do you do it as things come up?

Honestly, I research things as they come up because things are always gonna come up. I’m constantly coming up with little things I can add into my fics, and I like to try all my ideas to see if they work with the story. I don’t want to scrap an idea just bc it’s not in my archive of research.

I also think when you get too wrapped up in technicalities, you lose focus of the actual story, so I like to jump in and do all my fact-checking as I go along!

28. How do you make sure your plot points are there while also making them blend in with the story?

This is something that I’m still figuring out because I’m just now getting back into writing longer fics, but I think as long as you make them fit in a way that they serve the plot or they play into one of your characters’ motives then it’s a good plot point!

30. How do you edit your stories?

This is gonna sound so extra, but I rewrite ALL OF IT from the beginning. When I do this, it really helps me figure out how to write thing in a more efficient and effective manner.

And I cannot stress this enough, beta readers are SO useful. You can do all of the proofreading you want, but someone who’s reading your writing will probably catch more spelling and grammar mistakes honestly. Also, they can give you insight on what might need more development, what might not make as much sense, and what really isn’t that necessary.