#man literally fucked everyone but delilah

[utilitycaster]

How Funny is it for Chetney to die on the Next Long Rest: 3x82

since I started this only last episode here is a link the previous edition to refresh your memories re: the vibe. Also only 15 minutes or so have passed since then which means most of that post is still entirely relevant. It's okay though because for my own entertainment I have added a bonus feature at the bottom:

Hilarity considerations:

Just hard-carried the thinking of the party; farewell to what few arcana checks were made

finally: a werewolf that has reached the moon! what shall he do oh he's dead huh

there's still plenty of time on the moon today for him to pick up a piece of predathos BEFORE the long rest. Does the responsibility to pass that along fall to the rest of the party? THERE'S a shenanigan to be sure?

Does he have a death letter. He better have a death letter. Everyone should have one (Molly is excused bc he is proudly barely literate bless his heart and also Taliesin's letter for Percy was good enough for two games). If he does it's gonna be LIT.

No really imagine you are Matt though and Chet just fucking dies on the moon. This is a complication for Matt but it is funny for me.

I think he should play as Yussa if this happens.

Hilarity complications:

Honestly they are roughly the same as last time but I did just remember Dorao too. Plot is stored in the Travis Character. I don't mind plotlines ending bc of this death but man that destroys any ongoing non-moon plotlines basically except whatever the fuck is going on with Delilah. You know how two of the three post-Campaign VM one-shots are specifically because Grog pulled a card from the Deck of Many Things? This would be like the opposite of that. Campaign ends ten episodes earlier than it would have because we don't have any of Chet's stuff.

What if he plays one of Ishto's party members who DID actually make it but got trapped on the moon. That's a weird dynamic.

The return to the war council becomes messier and messier...Bells Hells has: raised the alarm for basically every Reilora. Otohan is here. They have left SO many witnesses. And now they got a new guy.

Forecast: 1% chance of Chetney Death. A weird arcane lightning rod level of hilarity.

Bonus because this might get repetitive (fun fact, the wizard tracker? also launched just as shit got WICKED repetitive because every episode was like max 3 hours of real time. it is my gift, and my curse.) Things in this episode with slightly more personality than Otohan Thull:

The polymorphed possum

The nervous unnamed Vanguard member in the tent

The tent

The hypothetical concept of Tent Kite

[this-lovely-universe]

Lore drop

Anastasia

tw: Mentions of SA and literally every type of abuse, and brief child abuse (father slaps child)

@your-favorite-sapphic-monster @arisdaughter @childofthewargod @damiedantediane @kaiaalwayswins

@that-girl-cupid/@that-girl-cupid-2 @delilah-isnt-dead-yett @daonedaonlyskh

@aria-pane @poseidons-hyperactive-kid @wine-cooper @i-am-persephones-daughter @unhinged-as-hell

@demigod-jack-hearth @seed-of-the-pomegranate

If you want to be added, removed or if I forgot to tag you, let me know :)

"What the hell are you doing showing your face around here?" Her grandma said harshly.

"Who's is i-" Anastasia came over to the door, to see her dad standing there. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Can't I come visit my family?"

"No." Her aunt stepped in. "You lost that privilege."

"How did you even find me?" She asked him.

"I pay for your phone, sweetheart." He gave his fakest, widest smile.

Anastasia walked away and she could hear her grandma and aunt cursing him out.

She took the meat hammer and started hitting her phone with it repeatedly.

Stupid. She hit the phone. Stupid. She hit it again. Stupid. And again stupi-

She stopped. The phone was basically in pieces.

Ouch...

She grabbed a plastic bag and put the pieces in. She was really hoping it cut him.

She could still hear the yelling.

She went back to the door and shoved the bag in his hands.

"Take the phone and your stupid Mercedes and get the fuck away from us."

His smile faltered. "What?" He laughed awkwardly.

No one else laughed.

He stopped. "Oh, you're serious."

"Go!" She yelled.

"I just came here to talk."

"Oh yeah, cause you've been really good at using just your words in the past." She spat back.

"Anastasia-"

"No! I am not that scared little girl anymore. I'm not listening to you, or going back with you or getting paid off. You are a worthless man, and I am done with your shit."

"Anastasia do not talk to me like that!"

"Fine." She grabbed the baseball and pushed pass him. "I'll follow by your example."

"Don't you touch my car!" He raced after her.

"Why? Cause it's more important to you than your own daughter?"

He stayed silent.

Anastasia laughed hollowly. "Wow. You can't even lie about it. That's so predictable." She swung the bat, sending it straight through the passengers window.

Her aunt and grandma winced. "That's going to cost a lot." Her aunt muttered.

"Do it again!" Her grandma yelled.

"You- you hit my car!" He hissed.

She swung again, leaving a nasty dent on one of the doors. "Well, you destroy my stuff all the time. I thought you do this to everyone." She said in a fake innocent voice.

Her dad was starting to become red in the face with rage. "After ev-"

"Don't you even start." She said firmly, wiping out the back windshield. "'Everything you did' was the bare fucking minimum! Hell, it was below that!"

"You should be thankful that I-"

"That you what? Fed me? Clothed me? Go ahead, tell me I should be thankful that you looked after the child you made."

"You do not get to treat me with this much disrespect. I am your father."

"You sure treat me like your whore instead." She swung again.

"I told you to mention that in front of the family." He growled.

"Mention what? The times that you locked me outside and I had to sleep in trees? The times where I had to barcade the door when you got drunk so you wouldn't gro-"

He slapped her.

"Mark, get the hell away from her!" Her aunt stormed over, but before she could reach them, Anastasia swung back, punching him square in the nose.

There was a loud crack and he fell to the ground.

"Don't fucking touch me, you bastard!"

By now, all the other neighbours had come out to see what the yelling was about.

Anastasia had to hold by a smirk. His choice was either ruin his reputation by trying to get her back in his control or leave with his reputation and have Anastasia run her mouth and ruin it anyway.

He stared at her, also realising what his options were.

"You better not say anything." He told her, standing up.

"I will tell everyone everything." She said quietly. "If you didn't want it to come out, you wouldn't done it."

"What will shut you up?"

Oh, we're bribing now?

"I'm not being paid off." She reminded him. "Your actions have consequences."

"So do yours." He pointed to the car.

"Do you really think the police are going to care about your car if you've being accused of child abuse?"

He stayed silent for a moment, before walking over to his car.

"Go to hell!"

"See you there, bitch!" She screamed.

He turned around to her. "You have a very special place there, and you deserve it."

"What's the place? Satan's right hand woman? The VIP Package?"

He scowled at her, climbing into his car. Literally. Anastasia had dented the door of badly he couldn't open it.

"You need a baptism." He told her.

"At least a baptism would do something for me."

"You don't deserve me as a father." He fumed.

"I wouldn't wish that upon my greatness enemy." She countered.

He continue to glaring at her in rage, before driving off, telling her once more she belonged in hell.

She turned to her aunt and grandma who were cursing loudly at his car. "I think we're going to need a lawyer."

"We're going to need a lot more than a lawyer, sweetheart. If you're father is one thing, it's a 2 year old in a 38 year old's body."

[cringefaecompilation]

fearne being scared to take the shard in when everyone is pushing her to take it because of dark fearne, delilah outright telling her that she could very well turn evil, her thinking she's doing the right thing by letting ashton have the shard and thinking it'll make them stronger...

and then he fucking dies right in front of her. and she snaps because it didn't matter. nothing she did mattered. she was trying to help people and it literally blew up in her face. she still almost killed someone she cared for. and everyone's still pushing her to stop "running from her powers" and that if she just took the shard in the first place everything would have been fine! ashton tells her that he deserved to die for her and she can't take it anymore and takes the shard just because she's sick of everyone being miserable and angry about it.

and every time they use the harness she thinks back to how much it hurt him and how much it hurt her.

fuck man!! fuck!!!!!

[mamirhodessxox]

Unpublished prompts from HTD

🌸🎀🌸🎀🌸🎀🌸🎀🌸🎀🌸🎀🌸🎀🌸

*Randy & Mira trying to plan Cody & Delilahs bachelor & Bachelorette party.* “He said he didn’t wanna go to a strip club or out of town. “Delilah says she doesn’t want those male stripper magic mike like dancers either so I don’t know what to do at this point” “They’re so fucking boring and in love at this point just has Cody come to the bachelorette party as her personal male stripper or something.” “Randy how else do you think Delilah got pregnant. He’s already a personal male stripper.”-Randy & Mira

“Delilah if your gonna have a bachelorette party you need to learn how to throw your ass.” “Mira I don’t have a butt made for tha-“ “BULLSHIT”-Mira, Delilah & Cody

“I’d rather choke on acid tabs than look at another womans oiled up boobs.” “Ok so what if I dressed up as a stripper and you looked at my oiled up boobs.” “Randy is there something you need to tell us?”-Cody, Randy & Seth

“Delilah the woman that you are” *Delilah in a night gown from walmart* “what..”-Cody & Delilah

“I realized I have Daddy issues & Mommy issues.” “I kind of gathered that when we first had sex Lilah.”-Cody & Delilah

“Seth?” “Yes?” “Can you stop fucking breathing it’s to loud & irritating”-Mira & Seth

“LEARN HOW TO FUCKING DRIVE YOU DICK” “Mira calm down you just got your drivers last month you are NOT vin diesel.”-Mira & Seth

“Guys I think Delilah’s pregnant” “how?” “You shouldn’t even be asking that when you know her & cody go missing ever 3 hours every day & 2 she just cussed someone out at target.” “She never cusses..” “OH MY GOD HE GOT MY SWEET ANGEL GIRL PREGNANT.”-Seth, Jey & Mira

*Everyone on a cruise* “Hey Cody.” “Hi…” “I like this cruise idea it was smart.” “Oh thanks.” “It’s a perfect way to get rid of your body if you piss me off.” “Oh.”-Mira & Cody

“The oceans so pretty!” “Beach sex.” “What?” “Beach sex.”-Mira & Randy

“I always knew Randy had a fat crush on mira. Isn’t that right Bunny?” “You call me that one more time I’ll rip your fucking ear off.” -Seth & Mira

“Guys where’s Mira?” “Adopting a parakeet” “FUCK”-Randy & Jey

“Here is our almost too emotionally and psychically attached couple that loves each other so much.” “Your so cute “no your so cute!” “And here’s our mildly toxic couple.” “I WANT MORE ATTENTION FROM YOU” “I ALREADY GIVE YOU ENOUGH ATTENTION WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?” “MORE ATTENTION!!”-Seth, Cody & Delilah, Mira & Randy

“So is seth the top or bottom in his marriage with becky?” “I’d rather not know.”-Randy & Cody

“Ok guys I’ve been teaching Delilah how to stand up for herself a little better let me show you. Hey loser” *Delilah on the verge of tears* “hey man..don’t call me that!” “Did I just watch Cody try to bully her like this is disney channel?”-Cody, Delilah, Becky

“I love you.” *Mira coming back after zoning out* “huh?” “I- uh I said I’m SELLING you.”-Randy & Mira

“Awh look at them their play fighting!!” *Mira trying to slap a spider off Randy’s head from the distance* “CAN YOU NOT TARNISH MY BRAIN CELLS PLEASE?” “I’M FUCKING TRYING”-Delilah, Randy & Mira

“Hey Cody?” “Yes gorgeous?” “Do you like me?” “I literally proposed to you twice Delilah.”-Delilah & Cody

“Would you love me if I was a worm?” *Randy trying to sleep* “Mira it’s 3 in the fucking morning go to sleep.”-Mira & Randy

🌸🎀🌸🎀🌸🎀🌸🎀🌸🎀🌸🎀🌸🎀🌸

@alyyaanna @jeysbvck @kabloswrld @mini-rhodes @southerngirl41 @femdisa @claymoresofinfamy23

[charbles]

In your AU who is your all time favorite and why?

Anon, I've been thinking about this for hours, I'm NOT joking, This au has been around since 2018, its a very special thing to me, its gotten me personally through ALOT of shit, and its one of Me and Ricks (@galacticaldisaster) first au's/rewrites we've EVER done together, this au short is SO SO important to me which is why its SO HARD just to choose one character, you feel me? On top of that Rick and I try to implement literally EVERYONE into this au, we Cherry-pick from books, we include EVERYONE from AR, there are GENUINELY so many options!

My favorites bounce around alot due to whoever i'm focusing on developing and the likes but i think i've got a solid tie for #1! and ive got reasons for why its a tie :]!

Chris is my favorite out of all of the characters i've written purely because he makes me very sad, I think i did the best job writing him as a character, hes balanced in the sense that hes a heartbreaking character and yet i think he stays child-like in essence, hes got reason for what he does but he goes about it like a 6 year old would, a very scared 6 year old

Which brings me to my second favorite of all of the characters, Richie. Richie is this au's FNAF 3 Phone dude, I havent really talked about Richie too much, besides the mention from last night. But richie will ALWAYS be on top, mostly because he is the very first character i wrote for this au, WAAAYYY back when i was 15, the very first picture i EVER drew of this au was of Richie Scott, Age 17, Threatening to hit someone with a lightning mcqueen Croc. Richie and Phillip's (@galacticaldisaster s phone guy) whole concept came from a game of Garrys Mod where we were being little idiots and beating the shit out of eachother with fnaf character models! I also just think Richies silly :]

Legally i DO have to give you all my favorite of Ricks characters;

You all obviously know springtrap/william, absolute motherfucker, but RICK. RICK HAS THE AUDACITY, THE G A L L to both turn him into the saddest dad you've EVER met, and the scariest and i mean, SCARIEST William ive ever read. seriously, dudes believe me, Rick's writing for his devolve from a dad/ business man to murderous deranged killer is GENUINELY my favorite, I've seen alot of interps of william, and maybe im a bit biased, But Ricks is my favorite.

Now Phillip is in the same vein of Richie, hes the phone guy and was made during a game of Gmod via rambling, but Phils character and story is genuinely very very :[ i love him, he is my favorite white boy, Phillip my beloved little corporate slave turned Man Fuck This Place >:,[ i wont talk about his story too much, but its sad, and i fucking adore him and will kill for him

an honorable mention for ricks, who i will not be sharing pictures of is Jeremy Fitzgerald, because rick is the ONLY person i know who has implemented the fact jeremy carved his fucking face off and also once again? i love him. hes a FUCKER.

HONORABLE MENTIONS BELOW CUT!!

my FAVORITE fucker to draw is malhare.

look at this fucking idiot, i love him, and yet he is ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING. HE IS A MENACE. this guy and his bestie in au is ARE ABSOLUTE FREAKS. FUCK UP YOUR LIFE FLAVORED FREAKS!!

annnnndd currently my favorite character to write for is Vanny and the Tape girl (Delilah!) :]

i will not be giving context to this image :]

[gayhawkelatehomicide]

Dog Post

So my noodle associate consumed one (1) full bottle of soju and started coming up with dog names, so here are my various Dragon Age protagonists' dogs.

Buppies under the cut for length

Wardens

Aridhel Mahariel (serious, stressed, blunt) - Titanius, the most adorable fuck-up of an animal. He has a dignified name because you call him and he trips over his own paws and flops on the floor in his enthusiasm to come receive scratchies. He's so big and so dumb and so sweet. Full blooded mabari but got more Big genes than smart ones.

Saffron Cousland (earnest, noble, cautiously optimistic) - Teryn, the only point of consistent stability in her world. Originally a gift from Rendon Howe, he saves Saffron's life on a couple of occasions, much to said asshole's distress.

Theo Amell (ambitious, daring, prickly) - Hammer, a difficult creature to control, who immediately rolls over and does whatever Morrigan wants, just like his master.

Renan Tabris (ruthless, suspicious, protective) - Teacup, the incredibly polite and well-trained war dog. Probably the only thing in Renan's life that she never has to fight.

Valda Aeducan (honorable, loyal, politically traumatized) - Small Chip, an unapologetically affectionate sweetheart who loves everyone and gives Valda the first uncomplicated physical touch in her whole life up to that point.

Emmaera Surana (strange, cerebral, difficult) - Arnold, the most relaxed dog in Ferelden. Truly, this fella is the only dog who can be within 15 feet of Mae without freaking out because there's Something Wrong With Her and animals can sense it. Hint: it's the 6+ spirits in her head.

Tery Mahariel (tough, laconic, safe) - On'dhar, literally "good dog" in Elvhen, the most tenacious boy in the world. He's the type of dog who gets An Idea in his head and will NOT be dissuaded. Sad thing, apology in advance: he's how Morrigan finds out Tery is dead, because he hunts Morrigan down and she knows he would never leave Tery.

Hawkes

Iris Hawke (kind, ruthless, cunning) - Couscous, the half-Mabari half-wolfhound. He's goofy and playful but also fuckin HUGE and has such a high prey drive it's not even funny. He needs to run and chase things, he NEEDS to. Luckily, you can take him basically everywhere. He enjoys biting the Arishok.

Ian Hawke (complicated, stubborn, self-justified) - also Couscous because look, Ian was originally a dude mage version of Iris because I wanted a mage to gay marry Fenris and then I had to change a bunch of stuff because Iris and Fen never got along. So they have the same dog.

Kiera Hawke (angry, sad, violent) - Mel, the sleepy old warhound who will still bring you dead burglars until his last day. I take everything from Kiera so Mel unfortunately dies towards the end of the game, but he has a long rich life in which he is loved fiercely up to that point.

Alice Hawke (trusting, outgoing, somewhat overbearing) - Pokshie, the overprotective mother hen. You know those dogs who adopt like, baby geese or whatever, and their owners just have to get used to it? That's Pokshie. He decides who he's going to take care of and that is that.

Delilah Hawke (snarky, positive, gleefully chaotic) - Tosus, the dignified gentleman. Man of the house for years (eat dirt, Carver) and straight man to a great many shenanigans, Tosus has one of those doggy faces that just looks like he's judging you most of the time. Kinda the droll butler archetype, but a dog.

Quinn Hawke (grouchy, unrelenting, burdened) - Schnuffles, the friendliest animal you ever did meet. Truly this one is just corgi software running on mabari hardware. Needs so much love and attention all the time, but will mirror it back to you threefold.

Andy Hawke (unique, funny, a bit prescient) - Wendy, the disappointed mom. As if Leandra wasn't enough, Wendy is the epitome of that "I just want you to know, you have disappointed all three of us" meme but it's a dog standing between the twins and everyone is giving Andy the same disapproving expression. It doesn't even slow them down, of course, because Andy doesn't have a lot of the losses that my other Hawkes have to cope with.

The inquisitors unfortunately do not get dogs, because a good hound would out Solas in seconds, but some of them have favorite mounts. Those get their own post tho.

[renthony]

would you drop a tier list of your most & least favorite tlovm characters and why? :) I love seeing new people get into it!

Oooooh, I don't have a tier template on hand, and trying to rank them in order sounds hard anyway, because I don't think there are any characters I don't like. So here are my thoughts about all the main party members, plus my favorite side characters!

Percy - My one true blorbo from this series. Baby boy gun man. Someone please hug him and let him take a nap. I have imprinted on him like a duckling. I technically finished my cosplay but I'm already working on plans for future upgrades. My husband also wants to figure out how to rig up an Orthax puppet/costume so he can loom over my shoulder in photos or at cons. Percy is my baby.

Vex - My WIFE. She's got the only brain cell in the party half the time, she's got a war bear, she's even bisexual (is that canon? idk if it's canon, but it's canon to ME!!! no one in this party is straight!!!!!!!) I don't know that I'd be quite as into Perc'ahlia just yet if I didn't know some of their endgame, but I fucking adore everything I've seen from their dynamic so far in season 2. They're adorable.

Vax - I didn't dislike Vax at first, but I wasn't quite sure how I'd feel about him. He grew on me really fast, though! I fucking adore every interaction he has with Gilmore, his snark delights me, and I really love what's going on with him and the Raven Queen. I like death-associated characters and I like angst, and whatever's happening with him right now is ticking both those boxes.

Grog - He did exactly what Magnus Burnsides from the Adventure Zone did for me--I started off feeling kinda indifferent toward them both, because "generic smash-smash fighter dude" is usually boring to me, but there's just so much heart. He's funny, he's sweet, he's just so damn genuine. I'm worried about my guy Grog, man. Did he learn nothing from Percy's evil gun last season? GROG, PLEASE!

Pike - I love Pike. Her story with the Everlight in season one really hit me hard, and I think it's so cool to have a devout holy character who curses, drinks, fucks, and doesn't adhere to the "religious people are all stuffy, uptight bigots" stereotype. And her friendship with Grog gives me life, holy shit. I love them.

Keyleth - I ADORE Keyleth. Actual literal Disney princess. I've heard vague mutterings that she's got divisive appeal in the fandom, but I think she's really fun, and I like that she's still learning and figuring her shit out. I like that she's cute and sweet, and I think she really helps balance out the darker moments of the show. I also really appreciate that she gets to be cute and sweet and silly, but is still clearly an adult. She gets drunk, she swears, she isn't a naive infant. Too many kindhearted characters get treated as stupid or childish for it and it annoys me a lot.

Scanlan - I thought I was going to hate Scanlan. I am so tired of horny bards played by people who don't respect consent and think that comedy gives them a free pass to be a fucking asshole who pushes everyone's buttons. But Scanlan isn't that. Yeah, he's horny, and he's over-the-top, and sometimes he's abrasive--but he respects consent, he's not some dickhead macho guy trying to prove he's the most masculine in the room, and he's got a lot of depth to him beneath the snark. Season 2 Scanlan is genuinely breaking my fucking heart, because I want him to be happy so bad.

Gilmore - I fucking love him and want to see way more of him. I don't know if I want to fuck him or be him. He is the distilled essence of what I find aesthetically attractive in a man, and he's a flirtatious snarker, and he can do magic?! The only reason he's not my #1 fave is because that's how much I love Percy.

Sylas & Delilah - My bisexual ass wants to be in that evil sandwich. Goddamn. Also Delilah is totally valid, I would also do horrible crimes against nature to bring my husband back from the dead. She did nothing wrong. Yes I love Percy, yes Delilah did nothing wrong, I contain multitudes. She broke the world for him!!! SHE BROKE THE WORLD!!!! Evil twisted love, baby!!!!!!!

Allura - I was kinda meh on her at first but she's really growing on me in the new season. She's an exhausted put-upon sapphic with the only brain cell on the continent, bless her. I was glad to see she got out of the city.

So yeah! :D

[wackology]

Ok guys Dick the 2nd left Delilah for Roxie, sorry i don't make the rules the evil demon living in my head says in canon so now y'all have to accept it.

Tell me this wouldn't be them

[crithaus]

Percy being 'like that' in perpetuity is so very in character and funny and I'm still not over it truly. He's a shitty little bastard to literally everyone he knows, this coming from someone who loves him dearly, he's a bratty, snooty posh dickhead to everyone and despite that he had Keyleth, Vax, Vex, Pike and god only knows the guests and NPCs crushing on him at least a little bit, yes his heart is very big and he can be so so so sweet and kind and loving to those who have earned his affections but even to Keyleth, his best friend (re: every moral argument they have ever had), and Vex his beloved wife, (re: truly god I can only remember him flat out telling her absolutely not you scrub go bother someone else when she wanted to help him build her broom's seat but I know there has to be more) he's always had the capacity to be an asshole. Capacity and will without fail or hesitation fall back on being a snooty, aloof, uptight prick. (Edit: no hang on it's time to dogpile on mommy's special little man, in one of the prestream vines he literally threatens to skin someone and make a book out of the people leather and no I don't know the context and I don't need to, there's no way it was justified, this dramatic numbskull has literally always been like this)

Percy's traumatic start was not his fault and I would say that Im on the fence about Orthax being his fault because he says himself that he thought the deal was just a dream, but he does then choose to kick off the whole briarwood arc (starting a fight in Uriel's backyard almost getting them jailed for treason, defingering that one guy, setting that house full of people on fire for a second) and then just go full supervillain for a very long little while, and that most certainly is his fault even if the influencing factors were out of his control, and he fucked up a lot. A lot. And VM, his family, forgave him. Plenty of times. Ressurected him despite the dangers and loved him through his truly worst moments and saved his humanity alongside his life. And now here he is denying Laudna that same chance (while she has altogether done far far less to deserve her death) and I am not at all surprised because he lets his fear direct all of his decisions to an alarming degree. And! Not only that but he is wildly impulsive and has a bad habit of making decisions by himself because by Taliesin's own words Percy always thinks he's the Smartest person in the Room at any given time. He lets fear rule him, he's impulsive, he thinks he knows better than or can outsmart the consequences of his actions, and he's unfortunately very good at eloquently explaining himself. A true recipe for disaster. But, he's scared under it all. Has been for a while.

He's scared of Anna, Delilah, Sylas, it might come off as anger but I'd put money on the fact that that's because he could afford to be angry or at least focus on the anger, cuz he had Orthax gassing him up making him think he actually stood a decent chance at killing them all, he had his family besides him and some decent kills under their belt, he had Anna down an arm locked away in his dungeon cell and they had Pike on their side and Sarenrae with her, but I know they scare him far more deeply than he ever wants to admit (because he doesn't like having situations be out of his control either naturally, cuz the first time that happened he was brutally tortured, orphaned, kicked out of his ancestral home and beset upon by a demon taking maaaajor advantage of him) and now that he's free with most of his soul intact, now that his whitestone is once again full to bursting with life and laughter and children (children he never thought he'd deserve), now that he's settled into the leadership role he never thought he'd be ready for, now that he's settled down into domestic life with his wife whom he loves so much she brought him back to life, he is once again letting that fear (and the certainty as always that his every idea is the only one to have) rule all of his decisions. This is so incredibly on brand for Percy I could puke, and I know he's gonna apologize to Vex for being snippy later so fine Matt, well played I suppose.

Percy might be a dick but he's also a pillar of Vox Machina, these selfish dickheads brought out the very best in that bright young man and I know that with a bit of time he'll pull his enormous head out of his ass and get down to business, righting wrongs and writing lefts in true Vox Machina fashion. He's a hero at heart, even if he is retired, he just needs a bit of time to (over)think it all over.

[utilitycaster]

Fighter Breakdown Tracker, episode 3x78

Welcome to what was originally an opportunity to talk about the myriad wizards (not Myriad wizards, a separate concept) of Campaign 2 that occasionally gets co-opted into other things when the thought arises. Anyway, obviously the main event was the Barbarian Breakdown and, relatedly, the Party Breakdown, due to their Communication Breakdown, giving Allura Vysoren specifically her 19th Nervous Breakdown, but I've already talked a lot about Ashton. How are the fighters doing?

As a reminder: characters are included on the basis of 1. are they a fighter, 2. are they remotely relevant to this campaign, and 3. do I have something funny to say about them. I cannot stress enough how important item 3 is in the decision process; do not make requests, my muse speaks to me and that is how the characters (and, to be honest, classes) are chosen.

Cassandra de Rolo: Yes! According to the Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting (not reborn) she's multiclassed into fighter! Anyway that plan to go to the ziggurat went well, huh? totally normal and great. I like to think that due to her rogue levels she saw Fearne march down the ziggurat steps and just peaced out and has been chilling in Pike's little cabin ever since. 4/10: normal "is the world ending" concerns but otherwise she's having maybe the best day anyone on the Whitestone War Council can.

Jarett Howarth: he's specifically avoiding Bells Hells because motherfuckers keep teleporting from Marquet and not bringing any fusaka. This, plus normal "putting the Pale Guard on a war footing and also there's a really mad goat lady in the garden" bumps him up to a 6/10.

Orym: my serious thoughts about the space made for Chetney, FCG, and Imogen to step up aside I honestly think the semi-joking narrative of Orym going off in a huff and working out his feelings quite literally via the power of elaborate bodyweight calisthenics of the sort that grant you 20 Dex and 10 Str would be good for him. Allow yourself a little pettiness, Orym; it's good for the soul. 5/10 because I don't fucking know; we'll see next game.

Ariks Eshteross: I hope he's at peace and buried next to his love as requested; I still haven't gotten around to making those cookies actually and frankly I've had much more of an eye on the gunpowder tea shortbread. 0/10; I like to think he has found true rest.

Bertrand Bell: These motherfuckers have not visited the grave of their namesake at ALL. Traipsing around the Raven Queen's temple - literally everyone but Laudna and FCG has wandered over to that corner of the city - and NO ONE has taken a moment to pause and reflect. He died as he lived: everyone kind of setting him aside for more important matters except for followers of the Raven Queen. 8/10 because hopefully he was entertained by the raven show that got put on but also, come on man you couldn't stop by at all?

FRIDA: I have to imagine things in Vasselheim are wild and it's going to be missing FCG hours, but at least they're in great company! 5/10; they're a pretty even-keeled robot all things considered but the situation is pretty tense.

Otohan Thull: My sole regret about how great this episode is and the fact that we're dropping into the Fey Realm for a bit to have some much-needed time to regroup is that we are likely delaying their richly deserved demise. Anyway everyone's beloathed Palpatine knockoff is unfortunately super unflappable; another reason why they are boring as shit and why I very much want Bells Hells to make the bridge a little bit bloodier on the way up. 3/10.

Percival Friedrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III: Here's the thing. All things considered, his personal position is stressful, but not terrible. The ziggurat did not blow up; Gwen appears to either have not told him about her Delilah incident or did so in such a way that he didn't realize what was going on; he doesn't seem to have noticed the break-in into his parents' bedroom yet; Allura was reassuring re: Whitestone likely being safe (although...it's on a ley nexus so watch out!); and he got to deliver the line "ever since I met you, I knew you were destined for stupidity" which is actually how he specifically blows off steam. On the other hand, every single window in the castle has been destroyed, Allura had to leave, and I just checked and confirmed that Pike does not have the mending cantrip. Maybe one of the local clerics does? Maybe one of his kids does? Maybe Vilya or Ebenold does? Maybe Grog's in town and can be convinced that the role of the Grand Poobah etc etc is fixing windows? 6/10.

[adelaidedrubman]

wip we’re really doing it on wednesday! 

tagged by @beautiful-delirium my beloved to share a wip on this actual it really is wednesday! sending around tags to @henbased (threat) @florbelles @belorage @ishwaris @heroofpenamstan @blackreaches @marivenah @snake-in-the-garden @hopecountyisforlovers @stacispratt @strafethesesinners @shallow-gravy @preachercuster @vasiktomis​ @bluemojave @blissfulalchemist, as always no pressure! 

enjoy this longish very prototypical excerpt from wildfire chapter 15 that has been giving me trouble in which jessie gives literally everyone else trouble while the story of samson and delilah gives her trouble 

Despite her best efforts to find anything she could to fill the hours of the days she was forced to wait. 

And she did mean anything. 

She poured over maps, memorizing every path in and out of the valley until Jerome threatened to not take leave to recruit anyone else at all if she didn’t give it a rest. She spoke to everyone left in town, about details of how things had gone down or the game plan for what came next, until she’d hammered everything out so thoroughly the residents began to scurry in the other direction any time they saw her approach. She radioed to arrange an in person meeting with anyone she could in friendly enough terms to not arouse suspicion about her actual intentions, her roster admittedly thin. 

She inventoried food and gas stockpiles ten times over. She did target practice, until Mary May chastised her for wasting ammo. She exercised, as best she could with a hole in her stomach. She even tried yoga again, for about two minutes. She read Judges Chapter Sixteen. Then reread it. Then read it a third time for good measure. Then thumbed through the entire book of Judges for context, then back through the story of Samson and Delilah in an effort to find some semblance of meaning. Then read back through it again. And again. 

And a few more times that morning, as she sat atop one of the bare mattresses strewn along the chapel floor with legs crossed and book in her lap, starting back where she always did. Some time later, he fell in love with a woman in the Valley of Sorek…

“It just doesn’t make any fucking sense,” she noted to the man emerging tired eyed from the door connecting the parish to the main hall of the church, sluggishly making his way to take a seat near the pulpit and listen to her daily series of questions. 

“I mean, she didn’t even really trick him or anything — she asked him the same fucking question she did the first three times,” she complained on her sixth reading of the morning, darting eyes between the text and the Pastor. “He knew what was gonna fuckin’ happen — same thing that happened the first three times! So why the fuck would he tell her?” 

“Well,” Jerome sighed, taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose before answering, “The prevailing school of thought is that Samson likely didn’t think there would actually be consequences if his secret was discovered and exploited. Remember, the scripture says when Samson woke ‘he did not know that the Lord had left him.’ At this point in his journey, he had broken every other part of his vow, and God had still granted him strength. He was prideful, and thought he would still be protected by God despite his hair being cut.” 

“No,” she waved off the explanation, ends of her hair tickling along her jawline as she shook her head furiously in rejection. “No, that theory doesn’t make any fuckin’ sense either — if he thought it didn’t matter, why wouldn’t he have just told her the first time? Why make her keep asking at all? What’s the point of her needing to wear him down?” she asked, poking her finger against razer thin pages as if demanding answers from them. 

“Well, perhaps because Samson had a penchant for —” 

“And that part is bullshit too, by the way,” she continued, causing the man to shut his mouth the moment he’d opened it to begin his next answer. “Superhuman strength, but we’re supposed to believe she — What? Just talked him to death?” 

“Is that so unbelievable?” 

“It’s stupid,” she said definitively, glancing down at weathered pages one last time, then up at the clock to confirm they’d spent long enough at this it was nearing afternoon, and thus time to head to the Spread Eagle for lunchtime rations. 

“I guess moral of the story is he was just a fucking idiot,” she concluded with a snort, clapping the book shut and tucking it into the pouch of her overalls. “Or maybe people in general just weren’t as smart back then,” she mused as she scooted off the edge of the mattress to grasp for the wall, gripping at its ridges to help to steady herself as she rose before he could offer her a supportive hand — not daring to risk stoking concern by showing even the slightest weakness. “Probably expected less from their stories.” 

[cringefaecompilation]

the thing about delilah and laudna's relationship is... okay.

i won't stand here and say "everyone would hate delilah if she was a man! you only like her because you can call her a girlboss!" because there are female characters in this series accused of being abusive for far less or literally nothing. if it were sylas or asmodeus or any other male villain that was her warlock patron, i'd argue that nearly nothing at all would change.

to cut to the chase and to cut myself off from this becoming a rant towards people giving villains far more sympathy than heroes: i think people would take her treatment of laudna more seriously if laudna was a man. like, nobody's lining up to call liam o'brien a misandrist for hating trent ikithon.

people do not take female abuse victims seriously, for starters. delilah has been belittling, manipulating, and punishing laudna for decades but everyone acts like she's completely comfortable with her for some reason. it's usually attributed to a scene in episode TWO where she was sassy and rude towards her patron before we knew who she was.

really? that's all the proof you have? are you gonna start complaining that veth doesn't have a british accent too?

i was kind of horrified when everyone defended laudna killing bor'dor by insisting that it was a "feminist move" to let her self harm because "it was her choice." you know. the "choice" that everyone involved regretted letting happen and pretty much agreed that they'd never let it come to that again if they could help it? and it wasn't even a choice on her behalf! because laudna cannot consent when delilah takes control. she was dead when delilah made her into her soul jar. why does everyone forget that?

and besides, laudna isn't even the first woman she's done this to. people seem to completely sidestep that she did the exact same things to cassandra de rolo for decades as well. that's why i can't really get behind any posts that sympathize with her.

"um she's a bad guy and bad guys are supposed to do bad things you dumb goo goo gaa gaa baby nun puritan 🤪🤪🤪"

alright, then. if delilah's a bad guy, then let her be a bad guy and quit making excuses for her. if you're willing to read into the heroic characters with every single bad faith interpretation (literally every single member of bell's hells except for chetney and dorian has been accused of being abusive to laudna over delilah lmao) you can think of, then how come you're suddenly pitying the character that chose to fuck over multiple women over to get ahead and tried to cause the apocalypse multiple times?

delilah made her choice. laudna never could.

[sparring-spirals]

its an unreasonable hour in the morning and im full of adrenaline TLOVM s1 ep 12 liveblog LEGGO

(this got really long but im tired so im not editing it sorry)

This is all very Tense and Bad but Percy going “keyleth is GONE” and vex/vax going “??? SHES STILL BREATHING” is very “sometimes i can still hear his voice” “QUIT TELLING PEOPLE IM DEAD” vibes.

Grog... grog maybe don’t- oh well.

Ah- no quips between Vax and Grog about strength, not when it counts.

I know she lives, but can’t imagine all the first time viewers being like “damn you all really are gonna try to kill off your disney princess??”

Vax’s lil “Cmon work... work...” paralleling Keyleths... :)

Man, revenge speeches really tip from “cinematic” to “moderately unhinged” once someone else is listening huh.

I really like that the moment Percy actually hurt one of them, EVERYONE immediately went “what the hell”

Keyleth is at 1 hit point groggy as hell and still doing the sleuthing. Heavy duty work there, lass. Take a break.

“Vex’ahlia, what are you doing??” well, obviously, Vax, she saw Keyleth step in front of danger to keep someone else safe and was like “yeah, this seems fun and good.”

that was a joke but goddam, Vex has really been thru it today huh.

Ah. “Take off the mask”, but literally and metaphorically, wonderfully delivered, cinematic, beautiful, etc. 

fuck, percy :(

OH- the little detail when he points the gun under his own chin- maybe you think that Orthax asks him to do it, but then he says, desperately, i don’t know what else to do”, and you see the smoke tendril fight NOT to do it, and the realization sinks in properly... shit.

“FUCK that, he’s got Vex!” ah. <3

Unironically, mindscape battles rad. Very anime, too. You can do it Percy! you can!

“He has to reload eventually... right?” fucking fighters and their multi-attacks, amirite.

Joking aside, this entire sequence is beautifully done- shifting from one reality to the next, little ambience changes, dizzying perspectives. woww.

The Orthax design is lovely, but I recently started Death’s Door, which means I look at a vague crow shape and go “friend?”. This is not friend.

(Vex’s voice breaking through... <3)

I’m gonna have a lot of fun reading metas about Percy and the narrative of vengeance and revenge and the inherent destruction and cyclic nature etc etc etc :D

Also- Vex demanding Cass “do SOMETHING, you’re his sister”, is good, but also funny bc like. Do Vex and Vax KNOW that not every sibling relationship is quite as er... codependent. All consuming. As theirs. Like are they... aware.

oh ow, good thing its your nondominant hand percy

wait did that. did that kill orthax? did that fix the posession? that seems... hmm. well. okay i suppose. i think orthax is still in the gun but huh that really yeeted it out of percy didn’t it.

Percy I’m glad you’re not consumed by your revenge quest but also i do think we should kill Delilah. just a little bit. :)

oh. okay yeah. “I’m glad you forgave her brother. But I could not.” yeah you know what fair.

oh thank GOD scanlan chucked it into acid- OH YEP there’s the demon, goodie.

Keyleth looking to Vex for pointers, and Vex pulling on her best “Oh darling, it was nothing ;)” as a lesson to Keyleth... :D

Ssjdkfhlakjd Vax dragging away Scanlan. listen they’re both right. they did just survive an apocalypse, but like.. HEY if they want to fuck scanlan.... hell yeah. (Love how that one rebel was nodding politely to Scanlan’s flirting).

“We live as long as Whitestone lives. Help me ensure it lives forever.” Nice sentiment but also Percy did we not just deal with two people Doing Shit to try to ensure eternal life. Is that a good way to phrase it. Percy.

Hmm. I really, really like that Keyleth got the chance to say “no, not right now”. And that Vax was- while not happy, not indignant or anything. It’s a really nice change of pace from most shows, even knowing how it was gonna go beforehand.

vex u creep (Affectionate)

*man gets spaghettied* “hopefully its not dangerous :)”

“We could just...” “Run? “need to get punched in the face sometimes to know you’re alive” *cries over twins*

akjsdfhlajsdhfjasfhlajsfhlasjdfhlasdjlfhasd okay listen i’d already seen clips and gifs of this scene but this “Keyleth blushing over Vex putting a hand on her shoulder and declaring faith in her” is really the gayest shit I’ve seen this month and like GOOD FOR HER, also big mood

the slow orchestral theme..... symbolism of the buds sprouting on the tree.... percy’s little smile... <3

AW Vex punched Percy before running into the tree. That means she likes u, Percy. No, not in the bullshit “boys pull pigtails of girls they like” way, in a “Vex is chronically terrible at expressing emotions properly and much like how she expresses closeness to Vax through needling and prodding, this is how she shows trust” way.

bro did you stick residuum INTO THE HOLE IN YOUR HAND, THAT CANNOT BE HEALTHY. DID NO ONE HEAL IT BEFORE YOU MANAGE TO GET AND CLEAN A CHUNK OF RESIDUUM, DID YOU RE-OPEN THE HOLE, PERCY WHAT THE FUCK, there are THINGS in your hand to make it WORK, you cant just JAM SHIT INTO THERE-

adjkfalsjfh dual twins taking care of trinket <3 as deserved

i love lil domestic downtime scenes :D they’re my favorite kind of shit, just details and chill vibes abound.

Vex “what, now” and “oh shit that’s tonight?” really doesn’t like being summoned or required to attend things, does she

 HELLO GILMORE. <3 u big ole flirt u. also appreciate vex’s mild side eye as she watches them flirt.

Uriel you can’t phrase your sentences like that, VM are still VERY used to being run out of towns.

WOOP, VEX’S DRAGON ALLERGY IS GOING OFF

AND YEAH, THERE DEFINITELY ARE A LOT OF DRAGONS. MORE THAN 0, THAT’S FOR SURE.

aw man, see, its never good when too many civilians are in one place

overall:

its late so im saving Proper Thoughts about the entire season for a different time, but: i think this was good :) not perfect, but good. nice.

a solid wrap up episode, honestly. didn’t feel too weirdly paced, although the actual defeat of orthax felt a tiny bit anticlimatic but- i think that’s the point? the bigger battle was mental, but the actual defeat- easy, almost.

I like Vex and Percy, I like Vax and Keyleth, but my GOD the Vex and Keyleth moments were off the charts the last few episodes, I’m reeling. anyway keyleth has a crush on both twins (although she still might be processing the one for Vax) and she’s so valid for it.

Listen Cass is BABY are we SURE it was okay to leave her alone to rule Whitestone? Not even in a “don’t trust her” way just like. She’s young. Is she Ok. Can we get her some therapy and a support group first.

These last three episodes were solid. I really enjoyed them. animation and music and etc teams all deserve accolades (for this but also for the season). I guess the voice actors too. :)

Man, Critical Role characters are a lot of fun.

[the-cult-of-russo]

Biggest regret (part 3)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

A/N: So many of you guys love this story and I love it. Thank you guys 😊

So this one really went off on a tangent and it's longer than I thought. But I didn't wanna rush this and I'm enjoying this story. So he doesn't meet his kid yet, that's in the next part that I'm writing right now. Then there will be another part that I've got in mind too.

Warnings: cursing, angst, sadness, fluff kinda, emotional Billy.

-----------

Delilah cooed happily where she was perched in a little rocker seat. It was vibrant pinks and yellows with a bar along the top and little stuffed animal shapes dangling off it that she swatted with her chubby hands. 

You were cleaning. Stress cleaning to be precise. Ever since you got that letter from Billy you'd felt out of sorts. You really hadn't expected it. You'd spent the better half of the start of your pregnancy thinking he'd come to his senses. That he'd turn up and say sorry or even call or text. But by the end of the pregnancy you realised you'd asked too much of him. That maybe you didn't know him as well as you thought. 

It had been a bitter pill to swallow having him just walk out of your lives like that. Your pregnancy hadn't been easy by any means and that only made it harder. You had no family, no real friends. You'd been completely alone. Every time you ended up at hospital the nurses took pity on you. Seeing you so sick with no visitors or help. It had been hard. 

Since Delilah could return home, one of your neighbours in your complex had taken to helping you. Louise was a woman in her 60s and before now you'd only ever seen her in passing with a murmured hello. But seeing you struggle as a single mother, she'd taken you under her wing and helped you immensely. 

You had to work from home since you had the baby. The time off with unpaid maternity leave when she was born and was sick had set you back quite a bit and now you were struggling. You'd had to leave your job since there was no way you could do it from home and you didn't have child care or the money to do it. And honestly, after having Delilah, the overwhelming urge to keep her safe was shocking. You didn't really want to leave her with someone you didn't know. It had been hard for you to agree to it with Louise who would occasionally have her for an hour or two so you could catch a break. And she was literally only next door which eased your mind a little. 

Now you were doing proofreading and transcription work from home and it didn't exactly pay great. You got by though and you made do with what you had. You just didn't expect things to go this way. You still remember when you found out you were pregnant and told Billy. It had been a huge shock to you and despite the nagging feeling that this was how it would end, you stupidly hoped it would be different. 

~

You sat on the bed, the test in your hands as the two pink lines glared at you. You were pregnant. You had a baby in your belly. You felt like you couldn't breathe. You and Billy weren't even super serious. There were feelings involved but neither of you mentioned it. Opting instead to pretend they weren't there. You were scared if you told him you loved him that he'd run for the hills and he was scared of feeling anything at all. 

You'd been 'together' for nearly two years. You weren't officially boyfriend and girlfriend, there were no labels slapped on you both. But everyone knew you were his and he was yours and it worked just fine. But now there was a baby. Now things got serious way quicker than you expected and you were terrified. 

You weren't ready to be a mom. You'd never put much thought into having kids and you didn't know how to be a mother. You'd have a tiny human that depended on you to keep them safe and loved. How the fuck would you manage that? And then there was Billy. You'd have to tell him and you felt sick with worry about how he would react. 

You knew about his childhood, you knew pretty much everything about each other. He'd never known love as a child and you hoped that would mean it would force him to want to be there and be a good dad. But you knew him well enough to have the worry that it would have the opposite effect and he'd freak out. 

He'd been at work and you'd been at his place. You didn't live with him, you still had your own place. But you stayed there most nights or he would be at yours. You never spent a night away from each other. 

You heard the front door open and close and you felt a wave of dread settle over you. Like an ice cold blanket snaking around your entire body as it squeezed. You had to tell him. You had to hope he would be okay with this. You knew you'd keep the baby regardless. Despite only knowing for literal minutes, you cared about this baby. This baby was a piece of you and a piece of Billy. There was no way you couldn't keep them.

"Hey, sweetheart! I'm home!" You heard him call from the living room. You swallowed thickly as you stood on shaky legs, stuffing the test in the pocket of your hoodie. You made your way to the living room as he shucked off his jacket. He looked handsome as always and he flashed you a warm smile when he saw you. But it fell when he took in your anxiety induced state.

"What's wrong?" He asked carefully, black eyes scanning over you like he was checking if you were hurt. Your throat tightened as you felt your eyes prickle and you willed the tears away. 

"Uh… you should sit down. We need to talk," you murmured softly. He frowned, tilting his head as he regarded you.

"Sounds ominous," he replied dryly. He complied though and moved to sit on the sofa. You opted to stay standing near the coffee table.

Your whole body felt like it was shaking and you felt in your bones that this was the moment where everything would change. Either for better or worse, but change was coming and it hurt your heart. You needed to just tell him, get it over with. You inhaled a shaky breath as you looked at him. His face was etched in concern and he was patient with you, watching all the emotions pass over your face.

"I'm pregnant," you blurted, grabbing the test from your pocket and handing it to him. His eyes almost popped out of his head and he grabbed the test, staring at it. You couldn't get a good read on his face other than the surprise and you didn't like that. He was staring at it hard and you knew he was deep in thought. That cold dread came back and sunk its claws into you. 

Suddenly, he tossed the test on the coffee table, springing out of his seat and moving around to the back of the couch like he wanted to get far away from you.

"No," he frowned. You blinked dumbly at him for a moment as your eyes burned.

"No?" You asked softly. His dark eyes pinned you in place then. For a brief moment you saw utter pain and complete panic, eyes glassy with unshed tears. But then all emotion left his face, left his eyes, and it felt like a punch to the gut. You'd seen that look on his face before but never directed at you. 

"I'm not… I can't do this. I don't want a kid," he said coldly. The lump in your throat got bigger as you nodded. What else could you say? You could cry and scream and fight but what was the use? Part of you expected this although you hoped for something else. You couldn't force him to stick around. If he wanted out then you had no choice but to let him. 

You felt tears slip down your face as you glared at the floor, lower lip quivering. You couldn't look at him. The pain you felt was unbearable. Pain for yourself for losing him, pain at how cold he was being, and pain for your baby for having a dad that didn't want them. Did Billy even realise he was continuing the cycle of his own upbringing? 

You felt his eyes burning into you but you couldn't look. You had so many things you wanted to say but they all caught on the lump in your throat. Without a word, he grabbed his jacket and left, slamming his door behind him so loud you jumped. You sobbed then, moving to curl up on the sofa as you let it all out. He was gone. You'd have to do this all alone and you missed him already despite him leaving you like this. 

You were unsure of how long you lay on his sofa sobbing your heart out until your phone chimed with a message. Stupidly you thought it was Billy saying sorry. It was Billy, but he definitely wasn't apologising.

'I'll be back in two hours. Pack all your shit and be gone before I get home. Don't contact me again.' 

You felt a surge of anger and bitterness seep into you then. You thought he'd cared. Never had he told you how he felt about you but he acted like he cared. Introduced you to the Castle's, his family. But clearly you were wrong. His message was loud and clear. You didn't respond, there was no need. He wanted to never hear from you again and that was fine. You packed anything of yours and left within an hour, your heart heavy with pain, hurt and anger. 

~

When you got his letter, at first you were angry. You wanted to be petty. Wanted to ignore it or send him one back telling him to go fuck himself. But you'd looked at your daughter then with her sweet smile and her dad's eyes and you couldn't. Because despite what he'd done, she deserved her dad. 

You hadn't responded to the letter right away. Two weeks you kept reading it and coming to terms with all the emotions it brought you. You knew you still cared about him even after what he'd done. You couldn't help it. But his letter sounded so sincere and the self loathing in his words tugged at your heart. He'd fucked up big time, but he was trying to fix it. Billy was a proud man and you knew it took him a lot to reach out to you. You wanted Delilah to get to know her dad and wanted her to have a relationship with him. 

You had a lot to work through and you and Billy would need some serious talks to be able to co-parent properly, but you'd do it for Delilah. There wasn't a thing in the world you wouldn't do for that girl. 

So you'd replied and now you've been waiting for his call. You were full of nerves and you could taste the emotions lingering from the day he left in the back of your throat. You felt like you were in some kind of limbo. 

After stress cleaning for a bit and looking after Delilah, you sat on the sofa with the TV on low as she snoozed in her little seat. You felt lucky she was such a chill baby. The pregnancy and birth had been harder to deal with and you thought having her would be difficult but it hadn't been that hard for you. Louise kept telling you that you had natural maternal instincts and that you'd picked it up easily. 

You tried to pay attention to the screen when your phone buzzed from your pocket. Your heart skipped a beat as you got it out. It was a number you didn't recognise and your breath started coming in shorter because you knew just who it would be.

"Hello?" Your voice shook a little as you answered and you heard a soft sigh on the other end. 

"Hey, Y/N, it's Billy," his voice was smooth like always but it sounded off. A little raw. 

"You got my letter then," you murmured. You rolled your eyes at yourself for stating the obvious but you didn't know what else to say. Never had it been so stilted and awkward to talk to Billy. 

"Yeah… and I know you asked me to really think about it, so I did. And I wanna be there. I'd like to… I'd like to meet her if I can," he sounded apprehensive and you wondered if he thought that you'd reject him even after telling him in the letter you wanted them to meet. 

"Okay… I'd like to meet up with you first. We have a lot to talk about that needs dealing with before you meet her," you said firmly. This you wouldn't budge on. There was a lot of unresolved tension and feelings around you both and one quick meeting with him wouldn't fix that, but you wanted to clear some air before he came to meet Delilah so it wasn't completely tense. You also wanted to make sure he really was 100% with this or you wouldn't allow it to happen. You wouldn't let her get hurt. 

"Yeah, I'll do… anything you need. Whatever you want," he answered quickly. You nodded even though he couldn't see it, happy that he wasn't fighting you on it. He seemed like he genuinely wanted to take this seriously which was good.

"Right… uh… I can… I can meet you today. The diner down the street from my place? About 6pm?" You asked softly. You heard him sniffle a bit down the phone and you started to wonder if he'd come up with an excuse about work. You knew he worked late a lot. 

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll be there," he said resolutely. This was a good start already.

"I'll see you then, bye Billy," you murmured. 

"Bye, Y/N," he replied softly. You hung up and blew out a breath, your shaking hands gripping your phone. You hadn't heard his voice in over a year and it had your heart hammering away against your ribcage. You still loved him but the love was tainted with pain and betrayal. You'd have to stuff it down for the sake of your daughter. 

You didn't bother to change out of your jeans, boots, tee and hoodie and after asking Louise if she could look after Delilah for a bit, you set off out. You'd told Louise everything. She already knew what happened with Billy and you'd even let her read his letter. While she wasn't happy he'd walked away in the first place, she was happy he was trying to step up now. You were glad she was supporting you with this. 

You got to the diner five minutes early and fully expected to have to wait. But when you got inside, Billy was already sitting in a booth. He looked shit scared and his fingers drummed on the table restlessly. As you approached, his head snapped up. So many emotions crossed his face as he looked at you that you couldn't keep up with them. But when it settled on heartbreak you felt your own squeeze painfully in your chest. 

He stood up as you got to the table and there was an awkward moment where you both looked at each other. He looked tired. He had dark rings around his eyes and his usually perfect hair was a little dishevelled. He had on casual clothes and his leather jacket. He took a step closer like he was going to hug you and you stepped back without thinking. His face fell a little and he nodded, the movement stiff but he seemed to understand you weren't ready for it. 

He moved to sit down and you sat opposite him. It was so tense you could cut the air with a knife and you didn't even know where to start. The waitress came over then and gave you both a bright smile and you both ordered coffee. Once she was gone the tense atmosphere was back.

"I'm sorry," Billy muttered brokenly. Your eyes looked up at him then and he was staring at you with shiny eyes. Your throat constricted and you cleared it.

"Billy-" you started with a frown. He cut you off though.

"I know… I know I'm the biggest asshole out there. I don't deserve you sittin' here or givin' me a chance. But I want you to know that… I thought about you and the baby… Delilah… every damn day. And I-I hated myself for walkin' away. And I can't take back what did, but I can be better. I want to be better. And I'm sorry I hurt you and I'm sorry I left. But I'm serious when I say I wanna be here. You said I'm in or out and I want in. And I swear, I fuckin' swear that I'll prove to you I'm a better man," he said imploringly, leaning his forearms on the table as he watched you. 

You blinked at him, collecting your emotions as the waitress came over with the coffees. She didn't linger, sensing the heaviness of whatever was happening in your booth. 

"I'm glad you're here, Billy. And it's gonna take work for us to… to be okay around each other. But Delilah is the focus here and you deserve to have a relationship with her. You're her dad," you said softly. He sneered, not at you but himself, as he shook his head.

"No… no I'm not. I haven't been there. Sure she's mine, my DNA, my blood, but… I walked out. I left you, I left her and you both needed me. I'm not a dad, not yet. But I'll do whatever it takes to show you I'm worthy of bein' her dad," his voice shook yet was also firm and you knew in your heart he meant his words. It settled you a bit to know he really was serious about this. 

"I'll be honest… part of me expected to come here and you wouldn't be ready. That you were talking shit for whatever reason. But I believe you. I wish it hadn't taken this long but I'm glad you're here now, Billy. It's been… so fucking hard doing this alone," your hands were around your cup and you stared at them as you spoke, your voice quiet among the light buzz in the diner. 

You heard his breathing hitch and looked at him again. His fists were clenched and his head was lowered which made it hard to read his face. His whole body was tense and you were about to open your mouth to ask if he was okay when you noticed his shoulders shaking slightly. Oh. 

He sucked in a breath as a broken sob left his lips and it ripped a hole right through your chest. Now matter what he'd done, seeing him this way was jarring. You'd seen many sides to Mr Billy Russo and you'd even seen him cry before. But he looked so worn down and broken and it hurt you even if it was his own fault. 

His elbows resting on the table, he brought his hands up and rested his head on them as he openly sobbed. You never thought you'd see the day that Lieutenant Russo cried in a public space but he seemed beyond caring. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you stood and moved to his side. You slid into the booth next to him as your own eyes welled up and you reached out a shaky hand to stroke the back of his neck. He tensed at first like he hadn't even noticed you'd moved which was startling given how perceptive he was about everything around him. But then he relaxed and moved his face from his hands and turned to look at you. Tears were streaming down his face and he looked younger and vulnerable. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck and he didn't hesitate to bury his face in your neck as his own arms held you tightly. You stroked his hair softly, trying to soothe him a little. You couldn't help it. Maybe it was that maternal instinct that always hated when someone was upset around you or maybe it was just the fact that no matter what happened, you did still care.

"It's okay, Billy," you whispered through your own tears. He shook his head where it was still pressed against your now damp neck.

"No it's not. I fucked up. I shoulda been there," his voice was muffled and broken with his soft sobs that were slowly easing and you held him a little tighter. 

"You did fuck up but you're here now and that's what matters," you murmured. You pulled away and he let you go reluctantly as he sniffled and looked down. You reached up and wiped his cheeks with your hoodie sleeves and then he looked at you. 

"We can't change the past, Billy. Yeah, you messed up, and yeah it hurt me. But you already missed out on so much and that's a punishment in itself. Things aren't gonna be easy and it'll take time for us to heal, but you're here now and Delilah needs you. That's what matters," you uttered, hands falling from his face. 

He sniffled again as he nodded, his obsidian gaze searching your face like he was looking for something. 

"I don't… I don't have the words because thank you doesn't even come close. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you helpin' me out and I don't deserve Delilah. I didn't really think I'd hear from you and now here you are, fuckin' comforting me in a diner when it should be the other way around," he lamented with a frown. 

"I don't like seeing you cry," you shrugged with a weak smile as your hands toyed with the sleeves of your hoodie. He gave you a small smile back as he nodded. A silence settled over you both then and it was slightly awkward. You knew he was probably embarrassed and also still beating himself up. Once upon a time you'd be glad to know how hard he was being on himself over this. But seeing him like this was painful. 

There were still a lot of things to sort through with the pair of you but they weren't the priority. The first and most important thing was him establishing a relationship with his daughter. You figured in time things would get easier with him and he seemed dead set on being here now. And you could see the genuine remorse for walking away so you knew he was serious. 

"I should go. But uh…" you murmured as you stood from the booth, Billy following suit. 

"You can… you can meet her tomorrow if you'd like? I could… I don't know, make dinner for us all? You could come by my place and meet her before dinner?" You suggested, voice laced with uncertainty. His face lit up then even with his slightly damp cheeks and shiny eyes. His smile was bright even if it was hesitant. 

"I'd really like that," he nodded as he gazed down at you. 

"Okay… good. Uh… come by around 5?" It still felt awkward between you and you hated it. It used to be so easy between the two of you. 

 "I will… thank you, Y/N," he murmured sincerely. You nodded and gave him a little smile. He stepped forward and this time you didn't step back. The hug didn't last long but it took you back to a time when things were good with the pair of you. Where you felt safe in his strong arms surrounded by his calming scent. It sent a pang through your chest. You hugged him back before he moved away and you gave him another nod before you left. 

By the time you were walking in your complex you had tears down your cheeks. It had been hard to see him after everything. Hard to see him such a mess too. You had that feeling, the same one you did the day you found out you were pregnant. That things were changing, this was a turning point. Only this time it was a good one. 

It was hard to wrap your head around after all this time that he'd be there. Of course there would be a period of adjustment where he got to know his daughter, but eventually he'd be parenting just like you. It was a strange feeling to comprehend that you wouldn't be alone in this anymore. 

Seeing him and speaking to him, it had eased some of the bitterness that you'd held for him. Not completely but quite a bit. You couldn't hold onto the anger and pain of the past, not when Delilah needed this. You'd never be able to go back and redo how things happened but you could close that chapter and start a new one. One where Billy was actually around and your daughter had a dad. Despite the nerves for the dinner the next day, you were also a little excited and hopeful. 

[bitchiha]

✎ Naruto Characters x Music they listen to! Pt. 2

PART ONE!!! Last time I did Naruto, Sakura and Shikamaru!! It did well so I figured I can turn out another w diff characters! Ships and requests are open!

SASUKE UCHIHA

As I said in my naruto x tiktok post.. he’s an eboy

Thus, he listens to Lil Peep and XxxTentacion and not a single living organism can tell me different

Also listens to Lana Del Rey

Like ofc he would — mans wears that open flowy white open shirt so I know he vibes to Lana

In fact!! Lana probably wrote a song about him (Ultraviolence 😌)

I can’t really see him caring too much about his music taste like I feel he’s more the type to stare at the wall in silence instead of listening to music

Like in any normal situation where you would listen to music, he would prefer not too

Only on rainy days will he listen to music

But it has to be low enough that he can hear the rain at the same time

His guilty pleasure is.. Hey There Delilah - Plain White T’s

HEY THERE DELILAH WHATS IT LIKE IN NEW YORK CITY? IM A THOUSAND MILES AWAY BUT GIRL TONIGHT YOU LOOK SO PRETTY GAHAHHASBGGG

SHUR THE FUCK UP LDMSNS- and you know what LMFAO him and naruto probably listened to that song together once and sang the lyrics at the top of their lungs

Refuses to acknowledge it happened tho

Emo dummy

KIBA INUZUKA

He’s sorta like Naruto in terms of loving fast beat music and he also def listens to rap

But I think he gives me more of like those Tyler the Creator fan vibes

Like I said, Naruto would only listen to faster beat songs-

But Kiba loves all of Tyler’s songs

Also loves Brockhampton

And Childish Gambino

FRANK FUXKING OCEAN!!!

Probably bickers with Shikamaru over who has a better music taste

Will constantly listen to music whenever he has the chance — prefers it while training

Is the type to jump around and scream the lyrics like he gets so fucking hype!! it’s great 10/10 I would love to experience it firsthand

I think his guilty pleasure is like.. Ariana Grande LMFSO

He loves Love Me Harder like that is his song

Also loves in my head, Greedy, Into You and side to side

Probably heard Sakura listen to Ariana once and he was hooked, so she ended up playing him some of her albums and he was in LOVE

He will deny it to the grave, but he’s a fucking Arianator!!

Also could see him as a barb too..

Like he will vibe to Superbass and Roman Holiday w Naruto — it’s their thing

ROCK LEE

Ok.. so.. I think his music taste is on crack — like he’s probably stuck in the 2010’s

He literally fucking worships Eminem

and Rhianna (he’s still waiting for her to drop another album) and BEY-FUCKING-YONCE too

and is most definitely a swiftie

Will leaf hurricane anyone who disrespects them^^^

Still listens to Big Time Rush and One Direction

Him and TenTen jam together because let’s be real, she loves a good 2010 jam

Neji would say he hates when Lee has the aux cord during training sessions, but he secretly enjoys it

Lee’s hype songs are like from Lil Mix and Fifth Harmony.. you cant change my mind

HSHSHSHAJJA IM SORRY

And while he’s fighting an opponent in battle you best believe he’s singing Wings - Lil Mix or some shit like Roar - Katy Perry

Literally ducking imagine that

I can’t without laughing too hard Jesus cheese man

I forgot to mention he’s a Katy Kat too

Him and Gai probabky dance to Hips Don’t Lie - Shakira

He probably gets into a glare off with Sasuke or Shikamaru and starts aggressively singing an Eminem song at him

I think everyone in Konhoa is a barb.. so Rock Lee will also join Kiba and Naruto in singing Star Ships

Will throw it back to Super Bass

[sternbilder]

that holst post from earlier awakened the slumbering basic orchestra bitch in me and now i’m wild about classical music again all of a sudden for one (1) night only, i’m going through my old classical playlist and here are some unsolicited opinions?? recommendations?? top 10 piece rankings?? from yours truly, most of which i have played personally

10. rossini, barber of seville overture - SPEAKING OF BASIC let’s get this one out of the way, literally everyone in the universe knows this piece but it’s just so goddamn catchy and also fun to play?? sometimes it just gets stuck in my head at random times for no reason but i do not care it is welcome to live rent-free in my brain always

9. bizet, intermission from l’arlesienne suite no. 2 - ok this one is a slower piece and i never see anyone talk about it ever but imo?? highly underrated with a gorgeous, well-developed melody from beginning to end not to mention an INCREDIBLY satisfying build-up & payoff and ok maybe the ending is a little dragged out but that climax makes me cry real human tears pls give it a chance?? it kind of reminds me of a soliloquy in a musical where the main character like. breaks down and spills their entire heart out at the audience and it’s so dramatique™ and good

8. von suppé, poet and peasant overture - the violin part in this is SUPER fun but that’s not important compared to the fact that that cello solo is the reason i lowkey have a crush on every single cellist tbh,

7. dvořák, largo from the new world symphony - this is probably the most Basic Opinion on this list but idc i love this melody to death, even all the dumb corny choir boy editions of it, a+, top 10 songs to die to if i’m gonna b real

6. bruch, finale from violin concerto no. 1 - i just ADORE how the violin solo in this piece manages to balance being playful and light with being colorful and interesting, it def makes me wish i was good enough to be a soloist LMAO?? also this lush middle section (which kind of reminds me of the tchaik romeo & juliet a little bit??) makes me want to die, it’s so beautiful

5. dvořák AGAIN, slavonic dances op. 46 - everybody loves the brahms hungarian dances yes but my favorite “collection of folksy fun orchestra tunes” is DEFINITELY the slavonic dances, really all of them but ESPECIALLY no. 7 bc it starts off sounding like it should be accompanied with an animated montage of a dopey little cartoon knight or something plodding along, fantasia style, but then it swells into this GORGEOUS sweeping middle section for just a few bars then back to cute cartoon nonsense for the rest of the piece?? i don’t think i actually ever played no. 7 myself now that i think about it but i love it anyway. also no. 8 bc i love how FUCKING dramatic it is

4. rimsky-korsakov, capriccio espagnol - i got to play this for a summer camp once and again recently with my company orchestra, it’s so fun?? it’s so light and festive with great solos and great melodies and with all its short sections it’s both SO listenable but also v cohesive, i’m a huge fan

3. márquez, danzón no 2 - i think this is a pretty modern piece actually but i’ve also played this multiple times at this point and love it a lot, it has a lot of really great solo bits (like this sexy little trumpet solo) and it just makes me want to dance, i love watching dudamel conduct this bc he looks exactly the way i feel the entire time

2. shostakovich, allegro non troppo from symphony no. 5 - listen i know for sure this has some deep symbolic or ironic political meaning about something something living under an oppressive, propaganda-and-censorship-controlled state or whatever but it just. fucking rules. my favorite part is that eerie little part with the high violins near the middle which i’m SURE i fucked up when i played it back when i was a wee high schooler just kiddding it’s actually this OTHER part with the soaring violins but anyway. my favorite performance is the bernstein one bc it’s the only one i can find that’s as fast or aggressive as i remember it being

1. beethoven, egmont overture - i’ve always thought that if you threw a slow punchy drum loop over the beginning of this you’d get some epic trailer bgm tbh?? idk maybe a controversial opinion but this is my favorite beethoven symphonic work bc the entire piece is a BANGER that’s not only fun as hell but also incredibly listenable all the way through, and also the ending fucking slaps!! anyway not to be lowkey sacrilegious but here’s a space jam remix of the ending part which i love but my fellow orchestra members did not appreciate so now i am sharing it all with you all instead,

honorable mentions:

holst, jupiter from the planets - this honestly deserves to be on the list, i just didn’t want to talk about it AGAIN bc i already started ranting in the tags a little bit but really this is self-explanatory, the i vow to thee section is one of the most beautiful pieces of music i’ve ever had the pleasure of playing or listening to and that’s THAT 

saint-saëns, bacchanale from samson and delilah - danse macabre is also fun and carnival of the animals is ok but bacchanale is the saint-saëns piece that makes me go absolutely feral. it may be a go-to “we need something to spice up this concert program to make it not sound just Totally old and bland and white” but man. what an absolute party of a piece to play

mussorgsky, the great gate of kiev from pictures at an exhibition - i really love grandiose, epic pieces like this but this one in particular holds a special place in my heart bc (i think) this was the finale for my last high school orchestra concert which, while not the most rigorous group, was definitely the one with the fondest memories for me 😭i’m not gonna link it but i found a youtube clip of that performance and man. i miss.....this part through the end brings goosebumps to my skin and a tear to my eye aaaAAAA IT’S SO GOOD