#man ive improved in music a lot huh?

[abluehappyface]

YUUGI HOSHIGUMA TAKEOVER EVENT!

whOOOOO! Today marks the official one year anniversary of me having takeovers for touhou audios! I have been doing this for a YEAR!!!!! I am behind in my takeovers, but you WILL be getting all ten Yuugi remasters soon! Let's keep a good thing going!

A drink for you while you wait <3

[marenwithanm]

OK SO EPISODE 11: TRAUMA GOT ME LOSING MY MIND TONIGHT READ BELOW TO SEE MY THOUGHTS

Shou and touichiro seemed pretty much the same except for two things. 1) touichiro's vision of Shou and his wife which was just... So good... The way that the coloring paralleled his vision of his wife in season 2 has me 😭 2) the other one I noticed was the double charge bomb they did together. This could have been in the manga and I just didn't remember it, but I'm pretty sure that's anime original and I am LIVING for it. Shou's trump card which he originally used to try and bring down his dad is now being used in tandem with his dad to help someone. It's so so good. (What's NOT so good is Shou's outfit, why is bones so determined to slander his sense of fashion?? But that's a post for another day lol)

(for an episode titled "trauma" it was rather hopeful in the end. Wonder if that has any sort of thematic meaning)

first, all the changes. I really adored all the build up they gave ritsu. His arrival was a bit abrupt in the manga, and I will forever love bones for not only having ritsu find the crash sight, but also find and take care of Teru. Literally yesterday I was thinking about how sad it is that Teru just gets left naked and hurt in the middle of the road, so that was very very nice.

Back to more Ritsu changes since I'm following the episode's progression of scenes! I really miss the "man this is overkill" line. I know it doesn't fit the tone but it was just really funny ok?

But for some bigger changes, I noticed they took out the rhubarb wire that Ritsu saved a body improvement club member from. Which is interesting, I wonder if that's because of change of setting or censorship concerns.

They also took out a lot of the implications of Ritsu's plan later in the fight. In the anime, he said something along the lines of "a big shock might stop nii-san" whereas in the manga...

Yeah, he basically flat out says "maybe if I get hurt nii-san will snap out of it" which hoooo boy sure is a line of dialogue.

The final change I noticed was between the two "Mob" and "Shigeo", mainly in the art. I LOVE how they're doing it, with Shigeo being a blank white outline and Mob having blue lineart. It really helps differentiate them and make them pop. Super cool.

Now, do I miss some of the manga content and am I sad to see it go? Yes. But did bones do an utterly incredible job at adapting this? YES!!! so even if i don't like some of the changes, I like some of the other changes, and I love it overall.

As for overall hype:

OH MY GOSH 100% RITSU IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT AND BOY DID IT DELIVER I AM FROTHING AT THE MOUTH I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS

Also all of the parallels to previous things like having their fight on the bridge where mogami world Ritsu ignored him is spectacular. And the whole "I'm your little brother so let me help you" paralleling mobs "in your older brother, so I have to take care of you". And the music being the same as their original fight in the alleyway. I can't even...

SHOU CONTENT!!!! YES!!!! I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE HOW HYPED I AM TO SEE MY BELOVED

Studio bones really just adores the super five huh? Hatori is still here lol and Joseph too

REIGEN AND SERIZAWA JUST SPRINTING PAST THE POLICE AKFJSKFKR YES THAT WAS SO GOOD

Tsubomi please move out of the way of the active tornado this is not a safe place my girl (and what an interesting character choice for her to wait, Tsubomi is such an enigma in all the best ways)

Oh rip to sakuri and koyama, you did your best. (Side note, imagine your ex CEO falling from the sky to duke it out with a magic middle schooler who just destroyed your workplace. Seasoning city is so wild lol)

Random side characters getting one frame my beloved! Minori moment!! Tokugawa and Shinji moment!!

In conclusion, episode 11 makes me lose my marbles and it was 100% worth the wait!

[smireyac]

new year, same post

so... 2022 huh?

i didn't even write a reflection post last year (well i tried but i never finished writing it) which i'm kinda really sad about because i really like having these snapshots of where i am at in my life every year... and i feel like i'm missing a year! because i am! so while i can't do a whole reflection of 2021, i can do my best and that's the best anyone can do

so 2021 was the start, crawling out of the hellscape that was 2020... in terms of overall quality, 2021 was a major improvement from the previous year. to make things easier, first i'll go thru what i actually accomplished on my list of goals i made at the end of 2020:

☑️ read new books: my goal was 10 and i read 8, three of which were comics/graphic novels and one was a road trip guide book? so technically i read more than before

☑️ watch new shows/movies: i made a letterboxd to keep track of what i watched instead of the notebook idea i had and i watched 48 movies/tv shows !!! wowie that's pretty good i never counted that out b4 :D

☑️ listen to new music: my spotify wrapped had very much different music than previous years so i did the dang thing too ...it uh... got flooded by OM music cuz i had a phase in the summer but other than that its all pretty diverse !

☑️ eat new food: i had kbbq for the first time in 2021 so i think that counts?

☑️ go on a road trip/visit some place ive never been before/go to a club: so i planned a pretty spontaneous trip to LA cuz i saw an ad on Instagram for a city pop night at a club in DTLA... i thought it was a rare thing (turns out it ain't lol) so i got my friends to go and it was really fun and i knocked these 3 things out in one go (tho the road trip one is a little ehh bc we didn't make any stops, we just drove ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) bc i've never been to little tokyo and it was in a club! so check!!

so as far as goals go that's pretty good! other notable highlights of the year include:

⭐ i passed my drivers test (after failing the first time lol) and got a car that i love so dang much!

⭐ tried dating (the first time) and it didn't get far lol (that's on me)

⭐ karaoke night after not seeing people in person for over a year

⭐ played d&d in-person again finally

⭐ HELLA MEGA TOUR!! THAT WAS TIGHT AF 10/10 would recommend

⭐ saw lindsay and kaveh at a book signing event that was pretty cool !! (still have to read the book lol;;)

so yeah ! it was pretty great, all things considered... i think around this time last year covid cases were surging and things were feeling bad again so my perspective of the year was tainted by that cloud but looking back, i think i had a pretty good run...

i had made another, separate doc as a kinda goal list ? but i never finished it either lmao but i did put 3 things on it:

🌠 read more (surprise surprise)

🌠 write something

🌠 join a club at school

i said 2021 would be the year of new and i think i accomplished that

SO 2022 HUH??

thats what this whole thing was supposed to be about lol

lotta stuff happened... started off strong by getting covid (lol), went to big bear for the first time, technically saw snow (on the ground) for the first time, saw remi TWICE in ONE YEAR, tried dating again (still didn't get very far), saw ORI AGAIN FINALLY, hung out with pals A LOT, ate good food, got really (back) into comics this year??, worked full time at the library this summer, got over my stupid crush FINALLY, went to 3 conventions - 1 of which being COMIC CON... anD OH YEAH I GOT PROMOTED!! pretty accomplished i would say

as far as my goals from last year i actually accomplished something!! and hey 2 outta 3 ain't bad ;^)

i reached my reading goal with 13/12 !! granted 5 of them were graphic novels again but i stuck with my book club (kinda;;) and read some stuff!! i started a lot more books than i finished this year but i want to push myself harder next year (this year)!! my want-to-read list on GoodReads is 500+ and that hasn't even been updated recently!! i gotta step my game up man,, i think i decided i want to try to be an editor someday so i gotta go for it!!

did i write something this year??? in fact i fucking did!! i wrote fanfiction even!! something i srsly never thought i would actually accomplish... and i started a first real draft for J+M and got thru most of the first "season" of that!! so that's cool!! i wanna write more!! i found this writing tracker like halfway thru the year and was trying to add to it retroactively but it was hard so i don't know exactly how many words i wrote this year BUT it's more than 40k!! so WOW!! I'll keep better track this year so we can know fr fr

if 2021 was the year trying new things, 2022 seemed to be the year of getting used to the new normal bc surprise!! covid is still around!! but ig it'll be endemic now instead of a pandemic bc we couldn't fucking eradicate it 🙄 whatever...

the last couple months of 2022 kinda painted the whole year a somber color but looking back, i can see that i had a really good time for the most part... i hope 2023 will be nice :^)

SO... GOALS:

🎆 read more!! let's keep the ball rolling! 12 more!! once a month!!! and i'm not gonna add comics unless i've read a real book with words first!!!!

🎆 write more!! no goals let's just see what happens :^) i hope that maybe some fandom interaction will motivate me bc i love attention and praise!!! also my secret writing project 👀

🎆 apply to transfer to university next year!! this was supposed to happen this year but... shit happened yk

🎆 do stuff with friends!! gotta keep it up bb: NYC, hot springs, see snow, MKE??, LA

🎆 make new friends?? perhaps??? 👀 idk!!!

i will end this post with all the movies i'm super fucking pumped to see this year: M3GAN, the mario movie, the D&D movie, the BARBIE movie!!, new transformers movie??, blue beetle movie, SPIDERVERSE MOVIE!!!!!!!!!

it'll be a good year for me for movies ❤️

here's to 2023!! 🥂

[fox-steward]

hi. i hope you don't mind me asking this but i need some advice.

i was born female, and ive always been a tomboy, sometimes in the most stereotypical way. i was also a little lesbian who didn't know it yet. but after my younger sibling came out to me as trans, i started second guessing everything about myself.

for the sake of my sibling, who im closer to than anyone in my life, i learned about what theyre going through to support them and ended up getting taken in myself. i consumed all the yaoi and gay fanfiction they did, i read up on all the identities that were within the trans umbrella and eventually i started to think i wasnt a girl at all, but my infact a feminine transboy.

i never was able to transition on account of my family but the growing inner hate i felt for myself made me want to because deep down I knew that no matterr what i said or believed, id never be the cis gay boys i, essentially, fetishised and craved to be. it made me miserable, but i wanted to be accepted so badly that i stuck with it. but then i fou d your blog and others like it, and reading through it, whole reevaluating myself made me realise how misguided my mindset was.

despite realising that me being a tomboy is perfectly fine, i cant help but cling to that idea of being a boy, even though i have no idea what it means to "be a boy" or "feel like a boy". all i know is what the media portrays boys, feminine boys and gay boys to be like, and i clung to that idea for so long that i believed it to be my identity.

i just wanted to ask, if i can, how can i get over this mindset? i feel terrible because my younger sibling still identifies as trans without a shadow of a doubt, and my questioning of myself makes me feel awful, but i also feel bad because... i dont know who i am really now. how can i just be me again?

sorry this is long. any advice would be very very much appreciated.

it sounds like you’ve been through it, anon. whew! i just wanna acknowledge what a mindfuck you’ve been through, and it’s normal to feel no so great.

i actually think you’re grieving, strange as that sounds, but hear me out. being female is not easy, being a masculine woman comes with its own set of challenges, and imagining yourself as a “gay transboy” was an escape from all that. you could imagine a future for yourself where you grew up to be a gay man, not a gay woman. it’s worth noting relationships between men are the only sexual/romantic pairing that isn’t party to misogyny within the relationship itself.

it’s intoxicating to imagine we could have that ourselves, huh? it happened to me too, and i’m not even actually attracted to males at all, i was really just seduced by the idea of a relationship of equals.

but this. is. a. fantasy. one we as female people can never achieve.

so you’re grieving the vision you had for your future. your grief doesn’t care that the thing you promised yourself is impossible.

you’re undergoing another shift in the way you see yourself, the way you imagine yourself moving through the world. that’s hard, anon. being a tomboy, while absolutely lovely and perfectly fine, can be really difficult in our misogynistic society. it’s like that dworkin quote i’m about to butcher—something something absolutely excruciating to be fully aware of the misogyny all around us. you get the gist. and she’s right, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.

so idk, i don’t have any specific advice, but i do know a lot about grief. with grief, you gotta accept you’re gonna feel shitty for a while and absolve yourself of the responsibility of ~fEeLiNg HaPpY~ for now. i’m being flippant because happiness is a mirage anyway. we get pricks of joy, moments of brightness or laughter, flow and contentment, enjoyment, pleasure, and these fill in between other moments of discomfort or monotony or tedium or malaise or or or. and if we’re lucky we are aware when the good stuff is happening, so that we can pause and say, gee this is nice. and if you get enough of then and you’re aware enough as they’re happening, perhaps you can tie it up in a bow of hindsight and call it contentment.

tangent, sorry. practically, keep yourself busy and tire yourself the fuck out, tbh. when my wife left, i started just going and doing things, anything i didn’t actively NOT want to do. dancing, concerts, art class, bike ride, walk a friends dog, cooking class, sit in a field and listen to music.

just do anything. i know it’s hard during covid, but it isn’t so much WHAT you do but THAT you do. take the field example—you have to travel there (that kills time!) and maybe you walk or bike (that is physical activity) then you do the thing you planned to do (takes more time) and you have to travel home (more time and activity) then you have completed something you set out to do (an achievement/free endorphins).

i also took up running when she left (tire myself the fuck out) and that changed so much for me. with grief, rumination and sleeplessness plagued me; running took both those out of the equation. so my sleep improved, i got stronger and my cardiovascular fitness improved, i ate better, i got to see myself improve and achieve goals, got to build an identity separate from who i was in my marriage. so i cannot recommend running enough.

and as for identity, finding out “who you are”—identity is a trap. don’t cement yourself to any one thing because everything changes. don’t define yourself by externalities, just be open and curious about your inner life, your qualities (which are also able to change btw) and start to strengthen the ones you like, like training a muscle. i practice (literally practice) kindness and discipline, which are important qualities for how i see myself. i also practice at compassion and i like how these things make me feel and how i show up in the world when i’m practicing at them. what qualities will you train in yourself?

you’re not defined in relation to your sibling, btw, and they aren’t defined in relation to you. you can question transness while still loving them.

you’re gonna be just fine, anon. you have plenty of time. grieve the future you can’t have, even though it’s truly for the best, and cultivate a person in yourself you’re excited to be. good luck.

[hayjeon]

All I Ever Wanted (m) ft. Seokjin

cr.

→ teacher!jin, enemiestolovers au aka fluff → 10k words, rated for smutty scenessss

A/N: my bio and chem teachers in highschool hated eachother bc my chem/physics teachers were bad ass bitches and would tell our class that bio wasn’t shit and we’d literally sit in class like “OOooooOOHHHHH! she said it wasn’t SHIITTTT!” bc we lived for that drama and then the bio teachers would tattle to the principle and i was bff’s with that guy so he would vent to me sometimes and it was the pettiest funniest shit EVER

also ive never written anything about seokjin so this was actually really hard orl....but i hope you guys like it! this is a oneshot, so please don’t ask me for any sequels or prequels, but feel free to ask me any questions regarding the characters, and also give me feedback about how the story went, how the smut was, how i framed the characters, etc. it’s been a while since i wrote a fullfledged fic and i feel a little rusty :’) help me out 

“Okay class, we need to focus for the next few weeks because your exams are coming up! This is your chance to show them how hard you've been working!” you say excitedly as your students groan and mumble amongst themselves.

Smiling, you try to cheer them up, “C’mon, you guys have done so well this semester and the entire country knows that you guys are the best group of students they’ve ever seen!” 

You pass out some study guides that you prepared, and turn on your powerpoint to go over the important topics for the class. “Oh, and don’t forget after school tomorrow, I’ll be holding a study and review session so you guys can ask questions and we can go over the study guide together!” 

You hear some kids sigh in relief but one of your sweet kids raises her hand. 

“Yes, Yoona?” 

“Umm there’s a small problem teach.” She looks hesitant. You smile and raise your eyebrows, urging her to continue. “Mr. Kim scheduled his study session for chem at the same time as you did.” 

You frown. “Did you guys not tell him I scheduled your bio session beforehand since last week for tomorrow?” 

Another kid, Mark, pipes in. “Yeah, we did. But...”

He hesitates, but his friends urge him on. “Mr. Kim told us not to worry about bio too much and to focus more on our chemistry exam because biology isn’t even considered a legitimate science.” 

“Okay, okay, Y/N, you’re my best teacher here, but we can’t have you coming in here for permission to beat up one of my other best teachers.” The principal sits back in his chair, having seen this before. 

“But Principal Lee!” you wail, throwing your hands in the air. “He scheduled his study session purposely at the same time as mine! And I intentionally booked that time a week beforehand.” 

He smiles and strokes his beard. “Well, definitely we can figure out something there. Those kids would really appreciate those study sessions.” 

You nod. “These kids are the smartest kids in the country, and have been doing well at the most competitive high school! They deserve to be able to take biology without their chemistry teacher trying to sabotage their education!” 

He chuckles, “Now, now, Y/N, I wouldn’t say Seokjin is trying to sabotage their education. He’s an exceptional--heck maybe even the best-- chemistry teacher out there! He has as many teacher-of-the-year awards as you do!” 

“He told my kids that biology isn’t even a science!” 

The old man is about to respond when a voice pipes up behind you. “Because biology isn’t a science.” 

You huff and whirl around to see the cocky chemistry teacher leaning against the doorframe. “And what makes you say that Seokjin?!” 

He saunters in, taking a seat at the chair in front of Principal Lee’s desk. “First of all, biology is based on chemistry and physics. All the laws of bio are fundamentally inexistent without the presence of chemistry and physics.” 

You roll your eyes. “Are you kidding? Don’t you know that the reason why scientists began studying chemistry and physics in the first place was because they were intrigued more at the human body and its patterns?! Especially chem! You have no right to say that Seokjin!” 

He’s about to respond when Principal Lee stops the two of you. “Okay!” he yells, clapping his hands. “You two! Quiet down, I called you into my office not to make you two argue again but to propose an idea!” 

You huff and sit down, scooting your chair as far from Seokjin as you can. He rolls his eyes at you and rests his chin on his hand. The old jolly man ruffles through some packets before putting one in front of the both of you. 

“So, last year’s statistics show that a lot more of our kids are showing interest in pursuing careers in medicine. And a lot of our graduates said that their chemistry and biology classes prepared them well enough, but their hardest challenge yet was the biochem course in their respective universities.” 

You raise an eyebrow as he continues. “So, the board and the district has come up with an idea. Since you, Y/N and Seokjin, have been exceptional teachers the past five years you’ve been teaching together here, earning awards everywhere you go and always having the best ratings from fellow teachers and students, the board wants you two to come up with a curriculum together for the first ever biochem class to be offered in a high school academy prep.” 

He waits, a huge smile on his face, as he observes both of your faces. But you two don’t respond, processing the information. Your eyes scan over the pages of the packet laid out in front of you, and amongst the information about salary additions, rating improvements, and the benefits for the high school that are incentives for the work, your eyes land on a few familiar names of old students who have left personal requests/surveys to add a biochem class. 

But Seokjin responds first. 

“Alright.” 

You whip your head towards him, frowning. There was no way he would just agree to the idea without a catch. But Principal Lee cuts in. “Yes! I knew you’d say yes! And you, Y/N?” 

You sigh, turning back to him. “Yes, Principal. But it’s for the kids.” 

He laughs gleefully. “Great! There’s a meeting next week so try to come up with a good curriculum by then. Maybe think of combining your study sessions as well! That might help!” 

You don’t hesitate to give a glare to Seokjin on your way out. 

“What’s the catch Seokjin?” 

He turns to you with a frown. “Huh?”

You cross your arms. “There has to be a catch. You don’t just agree to things.”

He smirks, “And how do you know that?” 

You huff, “Oh I don’t know! Maybe it was the time you poured Butyl seleno-mercaptan down my sink drain, making my classroom smell like skunk spray for an entire week! I had to dry-clean all my clothes after that week!”

He snickers. “You’re the one who put one of your dissected frogs in my desk drawer first. It smelled so bad!” 

“Because you put Methylene blue in my drink! I peed blue for like three days!” 

“Okay, for the fifteenth time that was an accident! You asked me to get you powerade but I forgot I made a concoction and left it in a soda cup on my desk!” 

You scowl and turn towards your classroom, just a few doors down from his. He yells as you march away in your little heels that he secretly loves. “See you tomorrow at the review session!” 

You don’t know where, or when, it went wrong. You remembered five years ago, getting hired at the best academy prep for high school and entering the campus with a bright eyed attitude. There were two other teachers who were hired at the same time as you. Seokjin, the apparent chemistry genius, and the new music teacher, Min Yoongi. 

And you recall, falling hard and fast for the handsome chemistry teacher who gladly offered to drink your drinks at the teacher dinner outings because you were really bad at drinking. Or he would bring you a cup of coffee in the mornings just because he felt like it. 

The teacher of the year awards stopped mattering, it was quite easy to get those because the students here were getting sick of the older, lazier teachers and tended to enjoy the way the younger teachers framed their lessons with interactive activities and labs that made them enjoy what they were learning. You and Seokjin took Seoul Prep by storm and were dubbed the “power couple” of the campus. Students began giggling about how Seokjin would always stop by to borrow staples when he could’ve just gone to the teacher supply closet, or the way he walked you to your class every morning. And his students would bug him why he didn’t just ask the pretty bio teacher out and date her. 

But somewhere along the way, feelings developed into annoyance as prank after prank became apparent and it started becoming super important who got the teacher of the year award, and instead of walking you to your classroom, he would trip you. And instead of delivering homemade brownies after school, it was taping a ziploc with a disembowled frog soaked in formaldehyde underneath his computer desk, right where it would take forever for him to find it. 

And he never backed down from a challenge. You walked into the study session later that day with a bunch of books and packets you made in your arms, but as you stepped into his classroom, you tumbled over a small stool that was strategically placed right in front of the door. 

“Argh!” You growl as your books go tumbling and your hands reach out to brace your fall. Your heel twists in an odd angle and you yelp as you hit the floor. 

Seokjin turns from his lab station, eyes wide as he rushes over to you. “Oh shit! Y/N, are you okay?!” 

He’s still in a lab coat and goggles as he helps you sit up. You wince as you try to stand up, the pressure on your heel making you double over. He glances down. 

“Is it your ankle?” He reaches for it. 

“Who the fuck puts a tiny chair in front of the door?!” You growl as you move your ankle away from his reach and cup it in your hands. 

He bites his lip. “Uh, sorry. I thought you’d be able to see it and just dodge it or something. And who the hell wears these high ass heels to work?” He seethes, gesturing to your new pair of shoes. 

“For your information, the entire english department wears heels higher than mine! It’s not my fault you’re too busy staring at their asses and tits to realize they’ve got 5 inch stilettos on.” You grumble as he helps you up and onto a chair near his desk. 

He rolls his eyes. “The english department has carpet, Y/N. You have tile because your classes rip open animals and poke at their insides. Don’t you know that it’s more slippery?” 

You grit your teeth. “Well, bio kids don’t have a dress code like you do! Not until Fridays!” 

Your quarrel is cut off when one of your kids coughs in the doorway, and the both of you turn, faces inches away from each other, to see a group of your students awkwardly waiting outside the door. You see one of them, Mark, elbow the kid who coughed. 

You clear your throat as you back away from Seokjin and begin organizing the papers that Seokjin picked up for you. 

“C-can we come in? It’s 3:30...” Taeyong pipes up, awkwardly hanging near the entrance. 

Seokjin fixes his tie nervously. “Ye-yeah, come in. Sorry.” He turns to you as they shuffle in, chattering amongst themselves. “Uh, I’ll be right back with an ice pack for that ankle. Stay sitting.” 

You nod as he briskly walks out. 

Johnny pipes up. “Um, so when are you guys gonna marry?” A couple of students snicker in the back and you give them a glare. 

“Ugh, stop.” You roll your eyes and begin searching the computer and figuring out how to project your powerpoint onto his screen. But his is set up differently than yours and you struggle a bit, frowning as you scroll through the settings to try and find your usb properties. 

But all you can find are folders with obscure lab names on them or chemical jargon and you huff as you scroll through the endless folders trying to find yours titled, “Review sesh.” You pause and scroll back as you come across a folder with your name on it. 

Frowning, and glancing at the door and not really seeing him near, you bite your lip and hover on the folder. You’re not usually the nosy type, but you had a little feeling that this might be where he kept his plans for his pranks towards you. But instead, at that precise moment, you can hear him jogging back so you click out and return to the list of folders and pretend to be scrolling endlessly as Seokjin runs in with an ice bag and a few packages in his hand. 

Without thinking, he kneels by you, grabbing the sore ankle and removing your heel and opening one of the packages and sticking on a compression medicine pad onto the heel. You mumble as he continues, “Seokjin, it’s okay, I can do it.” 

He just frowns and grabs your ankle tighter as you squirm, glaring up at you. “Stop moving, the nurse said to just apply it and then rest your ankle and go get it checked.” 

You roll your eyes as he stands up and begins rummaging in his closet for something, and he returns with a pair of tennis shoes and a fresh pair of socks. Setting it in front of your sitting figure, he grumbles before he stands up. “And don’t wear those heels for the rest of the review session. Since it’s your right ankle, I’ll drive you to the hospital after the session.” 

You just sigh and turn back to the computer, trying to ignore the giggles and knowing smiles from your students. You grumble as you reinsert the usb and try again, to no avail. He’s currently setting up some equipment on the side, but when he sees you struggling, he walks over and leans over your shoulder to see the screen. 

“Okay, I know you’re not a computer science major but come on, this shit is so easy.” He reaches over your shoulder to place one hand on the desk and another on the mouse. With a few clicks he’s finished and you can literally feel his breath on your cheek as he opens a file and runs the program to get it onto his projector screen. He smells absolutely amazing. 

He starts the session, checking his watch. “Alright class, let’s begin. I’m going to start the chemistry portion, and for the students who don’t need my portion, Y/N has created a review worksheet for you guys to do while you wait for her to begin her portion in an hour.” He passes the stack to a kid. “And if you’re only here for my portion, you’re fine to leave after I’m finished or stay behind and work on the worksheet that I made for you guys to do. Staying would be better in case you have any questions. Any questions before we start?” 

The knuckleheads in the back chitter and Seokjin raises a brow at them. “Are you and teacher Y/N dating?” Jaehyun giggles, and high fives Seulgi. They look at you two expectantly, and Seokjin turns around to your unimpressed expression behind him. 

Smirking, he responds, “Not yet.” 

Your eyes round along with the rest of the class and immediately your students erupt into questions as Seokjin’s vague response leaves all of you second guessing. 

But he moves along so smoothly and quickly everyone quickly cedes and moves along into the study session. Except you. You frown for the entirety of his portion. 

When you get up for the biology portion of the session, Seokjin scrambles to grab a high stool from the back so that you can sit while you teach your section. You click through your powerpoint and explain the concepts that would most likely be on the national exams, and answer questions along the way. 

Seokjin sinks into his computer chair, resting his chin on his hand as he watches you from the side. You’re wearing a new cardigan, he notices, which was probably why you wore such high heels today, because they complimented the beautiful deep navy of your cardigan. He loved it when you dressed up, even though most of your outfits were quite nicely business casual, but seeing you a little more casual without your heels made him grin as he watches you teach your section. 

You were the prettiest teacher on campus, he could say without doubt. Now, he wasn’t sure if the other male teachers on campus were still saying that about you ever since the new dance teacher, Irene, came to replace the newly retired one. But you were still so beautiful in his eyes. 

Maybe what made you so pretty to him was that you were just absolutely so kind and smart and passionate about everything you did. Given, one of the things you eventually became passionate about was driving him up the goddam wall and putting dead preserved rotting frog carcasses in his desk drawers, but nonetheless, he adored your drive. 

Also he had an hour long class, five days a week, timed exactly 7 minutes after yours ended to hear his students gush about how great of a teacher you were and details about how exciting you’d made their lesson that day. He adored you as a fellow teacher. You were always positive, trusting in your students, and always pushing them to be better and offering them exciting and fun ways to learn. Before the both of you became some sort of rivals somehow, he actually enjoyed hearing you lesson plan and often would ask you for advice on his own. 

Which was why he’d agreed so easily for the biochemistry decision, amongst other reasons that had nothing to do with the folder in his computer that had detailed lesson plans that he planned to suggest to you someday. 

The review session ends quite smoothly, and the students one by one filter out through the door, collecting their things, and Seokjin lingers by the lab stations to clean up his equipment. He’d been oddly well-behaved during this session, not throwing lewd or snarky comments at you, but you assumed it was because there were so many students around.  

You notice one student lingering behind, and you smile at her. She glances around nervously, making sure everyone is gone before slowly walking up to you with a guilty expression. 

“Teacher?” She asks lowly. 

“Yeah, Yeri?” She was one of the best students in your class. 

“Um, about the science program that you talked about last week...I don’t know if I can do it.” She wrings her hands nervously in front of her. 

You frown concernedly. “Hm, why not Yeri? If it’s okay of me to ask.” 

She nervously glances around. “I-I have financial issues. My parents are both working full time to support me going to this high school and I don’t know if summer programs are a possibility for me right now. My younger brother is also planning to attend this school next year as a freshman and it’s just not possible to support both of us and the science program.” 

You sigh. The science program was for gifted students and would be a number one ticket to the best colleges in the world. The only downside to the great opportunity was its pricing and their lack of scholarship opportunities. “Hm, and you’ve talked to your parents about this?” 

She sighs. “Yeah, I know they really want me to go and do my best, but, at the same time I also don’t want to take away any opportunities from my brother as well. I’d rather just not go and have him get a chance to shine here at this academy. Coming here is an honor in itself.” 

You nod, “Let me get back to you. Yeri, you’re so gifted and I just want you to be able to shine even brighter. I’ll try to think of something we can do.” She leaves with a smile and you begin tidying up your things. Seokjin grabs his keys. 

“Are you ready to go to the hospital?” He asks, looking down at your ankles. “Put on the sneakers, Y/N.” 

You suspiciously eye him. “You didn’t put a spider in them? Or itch powder?” 

He rolls his eyes at you. “You’re hurt. I don’t mess around with shit like that.” You sit down and roll on the socks, and shove your foot in the left shoe, and then gently place your right foot into the sneaker. It’s quite big, compared to your tiny feet, and quite comfortable. You bend down to grab your heels but you have quite a lot of books in your arms and your full purse on your shoulder. 

“Here, give me these.” He grabs the books from you and your heels, shoving his phone into his pocket now to free his hands. You protest, trying to grab your stuff, but he’s way taller and already briskly walking out of the classroom with your stuff that you just sigh and follow him out with a roll of your eyes. 

His car is quite close, and he dumps your books in his backseat before jogging over and opening the car door and helping you in. You eye him suspiciously when he gets in the drivers seat. “Why are you being so nice?” 

He doesn’t look at you when he responds. “I didn’t think you’d end up getting hurt by the chair. I’m sorry.” He mutters the last part, trying to pretend like he’s focusing too hard on the calm road in front of him. 

“What?!” You screech, catching him off guard. 

He flinches, turning to you with a glare. “What the fuck? Don’t scream like that.” 

You frown at him, “Did you just apologize?” 

He laughs, turning onto a street. “I’m a gentleman. I know when I did something wrong.”

You scoff, chuckling a bit. “Wow, the world is going to end. Seriously, you should’ve thought of being a gentleman when you made my pee turn blue.” 

He rolls his eyes. “I told you it was a mistake!” 

You mutter, “Whatever.” And let him help you to the doctor’s office. Later, you find out it was just a twisted ankle and that you should try to prevent from straining it and using it too much. Which meant: no heels, crutches for a week, and definitely no driving. 

Seokjin offered to drive you home after. As he neared your home, he turned to you. “You’re joking right?” 

You frown, “What?”

He nods towards the crossstreets that you’re directing him to. “You live here?”

You nod hesitantly. “Yes? My roommate and I moved here after college. Why?” 

He chuckles a bit. “What the heck, I live right there!” He motions to the condos across the street. “How did I not know you live there? I thought I was the only one who lived in this area. We should carpool.” 

You shrug, as he drives past the gate. “Didn’t expect you to live here either. And no, Seokjin, I could never ask anyone to do that...I can maybe...call a cab?” 

He rolls his eyes. “Do you even know how to call a cab in 2018? Seriously? Do you like, never use uber or anything?” 

You shrug. “I’d never had to. I just...drive.” 

He sighs, “Well, I’ve done it before when i had to get an oil change that ended up turning into like five thousand other repairs. It’s a lot of money one way. Maybe around 30$?” 

You blanch, “What?! 30$? It’s like, a 15 minute drive!” 

He shrugs, “Well yeah, but you’re leaving around 7AM every morning at rush hour, driving through 30 minute traffic, and then having to come back. I’d charge that much if I were an uber driver.” He sees you visibly deflate and turns. “C’mon, you live right there, it’s literally going to be no extra time or mileage to carpool. Just, let me do this, Y/N. I already feel bad for putting the stool there.” 

You sigh, glancing at the distance between your homes. “Well...you do have to pass my house anyway to get to the freeway entrance...I guess I could possibly just walk out into this side of the street and meet you here in the morning.” 

He grins at you expectantly. “Perfect. Well, I’ll pick you up tomorrow, 7:05?” 

You nod, and he helps you bring your heavy books to your door and sets down your heels in your doorway. You remove your shoes and hand them to him. “I’ll, uh, wash the socks and return them to you. Thanks, for today, I guess. Uh, do you want to come in?” 

He smirks, “Are you flirting with me right now?” 

You gawk. “What the hel-- Ugh nevermind, see you tomorrow, bye!” You turn around, and he just greasily laughs and winks at you as you slam the door. You later peek out of your curtains to see him drive away. 

You sit down and sigh, picking up your phone to give a call to Yeri’s mother, trying to figure out a financial situation for her summer program when her mother tells you something.

“You know, I appreciate the concern, teacher Y/N, but I just don’t know how we’ll ever come up with that much money for this summer program. I mean, Teacher Seokjin has already been helping us so much.”

You frown, “Uh, sorry, excuse me Mrs. Kim, what do you mean?”

“Oh, Mr. Kim has been paying for Yeri’s textbooks and lab fees since her sophomore year. It’s been quite a while now.”

Your mouth falls open as you hear the news. There was no way that this was the same person who pulled pranks on you. 

When you don’t respond, she backtracks. “Oh no, I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone. If he gets caught he’ll be in quite big trouble. I can trust that you won’t tell anyone teacher Y/N, right?” 

You assure her, “Oh! Yes, no. I’m so sorry, I was just thinking. No of course, I will not say a word. I am very supportive of Yeri and if Seokjin didn’t do it, I would’ve done the same. She’s one of the most brilliant minds I’ve come across in my years of teaching.” 

Her mother thanks you and you scroll through your laptop later that day, trying to find some scholarships you could recommend Yeri to. But even as you go to sleep that night, you don’t forget that maybe, just maybe, Kim Seokjin wasn’t as much of an asshole as you’d thought him to be.

For weeks after that day, you and Seokjin had created some sort of routine. Both your houses were a bit away from the school, so you both began carpooling to work and district meetings. It was convenient, actually, because on days where you were just too tired to do anything, he’d offer to drive while you knocked out for thirty minutes in the passenger seat. And after your foot healed enough to be driving, he’d be grading papers and catching up on some emails on his phone or something. 

After school, the both of you agreed to stay an hour later in your classroom to answer student questions for finals and to work on the curriculum together. Students eventually ended up getting used to always seeing you together and you always got questions like “Where is Seokjin teacher?” or “What time are you both staying until?” 

And during meetings, you and him would just slump together in the back, muttering obscene jokes and comments about the other horrible fat administrators that literally knew nothing about the education system and were just there for the money. 

Despite all the jokes and the pranks, you realized Seokjin was actually a good friend. But you just didn’t know where it went wrong, because if it weren’t for those times he was such a dick, you’d be entirely down to date someone like him. Your mother would be proud that you managed to snag a catch like him. The both of you’d managed to find a scholarship for Yeri, and she was able to go to the science program and have her brother attend the school. Seokjin agreed to continue paying for her lab fees and textbooks, and you agreed to write a proposal to the district to organize a new scholarship for aspiring students like Yeri. Your mom was so thrilled when she learned about this, she wouldn’t stop talking about him.

In fact, she was the one, after Seokjin offered to drive your mom to her friends’ dinner one night when you were overloaded with errands and parent-teacher meetings, who consistently egged you to date him. He’d insisted on coming in and greeting your mom and her friends before leaving. 

“Oh, dear, Y/N, just date the sweet boy!” 

“No mom, it’s weird.” 

“Honey! He clearly likes you, and you too. He’s such a kind sweetheart, why don’t you just give it a try?” 

She was right. Although Seokjin still teased you here and there and constantly made your eyes roll upwards, he showed his kindness through his actions.

Like how he’d always hold the door for you, or carry your heavy paperwork to and from the car as he walked you to your door. He brewed you your favorite tea with some lemon and honey that one time you got the flu, and even cooked some amazing porridge for you when you weren’t feeling well for a few days after catching the cold. 

He always remembered to pack you a lunch, the plastic containers of your lunchbox always brimming with new recipes of stews, steaks, and dishes that you always shared in the teacher lounge during lunch together. His insistence, he really enjoyed cooking, from what he said. In place, you’d made a habit of washing the dishes at the sink after your lunch together and handing them back to him for him to fill. 

It wasn’t until a teachers night out, where the principal bought dinner for all the teachers to celebrate yet another year of successful test scores and student awards, that you realized that maybe, you had more than just a tiny bit of interest for the bio teacher. 

He was gorgeous, and incredibly tall. You loved the way he still towered over you in your tallest heels. And he was smooth. He literally charmed all his students, and you included, were always in awe of how passionate he got when he talked about chemistry. He was fun, too. He had a dorky side to him that you absolutely lowkey adored, not that you’d ever tell him that. 

And he was currently three shots away from passing out. 

You giggled at him, as he swayed in his seat, his eyes hooded and his lips stretched wide in a dumb smile. 

“Do you see-mmph,” he mumbles into his fist, trying his hardest to whisper in the state that he’s in, “Yoongi is so into the new counselor.” You turn to see the said teacher, gazing at the young new counselor with honey dripping from his eyes. Snorting, you giggle back. “Could he be any more obvious?” 

Seokjin giggles again as his head drops onto your shoulder. 

“Are you good at catching those kinds of things?” 

You take another swig of your beer. Your shrug makes him frown, because his head bobs on your shoulder. “I guess.” 

He rubs his eyes, looking like a little kid. His lips purse into a pout as he glares at you cutely. “No you’re not!” He drunkenly fumbles with the soju bottle as your coworkers erupt in chants to egg on the newbies that were chugging their beers. 

You roll your eyes and move the shot glass further from him. “Ah-ah, no more for you. You’ve had enough.” 

He glares at you as his long arms scramble for the glass that you hold away from him. “Give it!” 

You sigh as he stumbles, and crashes into you, collapsing on the chair. “C’mon, Jin-ie, let’s go. You’re drunk and you have class first thing tomorrow. I’ll kill you if you don’t wake up on time and make me late like last time.” 

He crinkles his nose as you help him up, “That was you! You were the one that was late.” 

You roll your eyes as he struggles to get his coat on. “Whatever. Just put this on.” 

You say your goodbyes to your fellow coworkers as they drunkenly wish you a safe trip and help Jin stagger out of the barbeque restaurant, calling an uber from your phone the way Seokjin taught you a couple weeks back, and settle into the backseat as Seokjin snuggles closer to you. 

“Mmmm Y/N...’ts cold,” he mumbles, arms wrapping around your arm and cheek pressed into your coat. 

“I didn’t know you were a sleepy, annoying clingy drunk,” you mutter, as you try not to get too distracted by his lips. 

“’ou don’t know a lot,” He breathes heavily. 

“Huh?” 

“You, don’t, know, a, lot,” he drawls, staring drunkenly into your eyes. 

“I heard it the first time, Seokjin. What do you mean? What don’t I know?” 

He rolls his eyes, sighing loudly as he settles back into the crook of your neck and breathes in. “You’re so dumb, Y/N.” 

You roll your eyes, pinching him and sighing at his yelp. “Ugh, I should’ve known. You don’t ever lose an opportunity to call me that, dontcha?” 

He grumbles to himself, but he’s cut off before he can answer as his phone rings. “Huh?” He mutters, fingers fumbling blindly in his coat pockets as he searches for the device. 

“Ugh, give it,” you grouch, hands slipping into his pants pocket to get the phone and picking it up when you see Yoongi’s name pop up. 

“Hey Yoongi, it’s Y/N.” 

Yoongi doesn’t even seem surprised when you pick up. “Oh, ya, Y/N. Are you taking Jin home right now?” 

You nod, letting Jin rub his eyes and wrap his arms around your arm again. “Yea, we’re in an uber and about a couple blocks from home. What’s up?” 

He sighs, “Shit, I was hoping you were still close by. Seokjin left his keys at the table.”

You sigh as you glance around to realize he’d definitely forgotten his keys in his drunken stupor. “Shit, we’re almost home...is there anyone who can drop it off?” 

Yoongi sighs. “I’d love to, but you two live in the opposite direction and we all took ubers here because we knew Principal Lee was gonna get everyone shit faced.” 

You sigh, cradling your phone in between your shoulder and ear as the cab slows down and pulls into the street. You smile and mouth a thank-you to the driver as you drag Seokjin out of the car. 

“Oh, yea...okay, well, we’re home now. Seokjin can just crash at my place since he doesn’t have his keys. Do you mind just bringing them over to his classroom tomorrow morning? He needs them to open the lab room.”

“Sure, see ya Y/N.” 

“Thanks!” You hang up and slip the phone into your pocket in a rush as you see Seokjin swaying. “Ugh fuck, you’re heavy.” He grumbles something and you throw his arm over your shoulder as you make your way up to the elevator. He slumps against you, his long legs supporting him as he leans against you, and you struggle to punch in the button. But he stays still, and in the quiet whirr of the elevator, you get a chance to catch your breath and look up at him. 

His eyes are closed, and his plump lips open in a little rush of air everytime he breathes out. His cheeks are tinged pink from the alcohol, and even in his drunken state, he smells so good. You sigh as the doors slide open and you drag him into your house. You drop him into your bed with a grunt, and he breathes out loudly as he snuggles into your covers. 

Groaning, you gasp, “Seokjin! Get up, you’re not sleeping in my bed with your shoes still on, that’s gross!” 

He groans and sits up, and lets you take his jacket off and throw it over your chair, and you slide off his shoes and socks too, before letting him slump down into your pillows. Groaning, you throw your blankets up over him and sit on the edge of the bed to catch your breath. You stare down at him, sighing, and reach out a hand to smooth his fringe behind his ear in the dark, and suddenly his hand snatches out to catch your wrist. 

You gasp as he catches you by surprise. His eyes slowly open, gazing up at you with narrowed and dark eyes. 

“S-seokjin?” You croak out, cheeks heating up. “S-sorry you just had something stuc--” 

“Y/N,” He rasps. 

His voice tonight is deep, and low and husky as he gazes up at you with intent in his eyes. The large hand wrapped around your wrist is firm and hot, and your breath catches as he slowly sits up inches away from your face. 

“Y/N,” he repeats. 

You just gulp at him and stare at him, entranced for a second. “...Y-yes?” You stutter. He was gorgeous. Maybe it was the couple of drinks that you’d taken earlier at your boss’s insistence that was making you so hazy. Why did your tongue feel like it was a thousand pounds? You couldn’t speak and your skin was hot and searing and your palms sweaty. The moonlight in the window right next to your bed shined in brightly, illuminated the side profile of his face, making him look even better than he’d ever looked. 

He rasps, “I promise I’m not that drunk.” 

You frown, “Huh?” 

But he doesn’t respond as he inches closer to you, pulling you closer to him by the firm grip on your wrist. Inches away from your face, he whispers, “Can I do this?” 

You just stare into his eyes, breath hitched in your throat and eyes wide open at the sudden confession. 

His hand releases your wrist, coming up to cup your cheek, tilting your head up to look at him better. “Say it, Y/N. I won’t do anything until you say it.” 

Your brows furrow as you think about all the ways this could go wrong. You were co workers, partners in planning the new biochem course, practically neighbors, and he was also slowly and surely becoming your best friend. 

Best friend. 

Your lungs deflate as the thought crosses your mind. 

He was your best friend. This could go wrong in so many ways, but if he was truly your best friend, wouldn’t anything that happened after that be fine, because he would understand? Because he would still care for you? 

So you muster up the courage and whisper it. 

“Yes.” 

He breathes out, as if he were holding his breath, and swoops in, sealing your lips on his. The kiss is slow, and calculated, different from what you’d expected after his 5 shots in a row he took earlier. The kiss is smooth and slow and deliciously intentional. He tilts his head, getting a deeper angle as he licks into your mouth. You sigh into him as you scoot closer and move a hand up onto his broad shoulders. He groans at that and curves over your body, a hand coming onto your waist to press you against him even more firmly. He doesn’t stop kissing you. 

Your lashes flutter when he licks into your mouth again. He was such a good kisser, licking and moving his lips cleanly against yours like he has no rush at all. You’re losing yourself, mind completely hazy and lost with everything about him. His lips, the taste of mint and the tinge of alcohol on his tongue, the feeling of his strong figure underneath his sweater, the smell of his cologne, it floods your senses underneath your closed lids, and it doesn’t let you think properly. He deepens the kiss even further, his tongue moving forth from slight kittenish flicks a little into your mouth, onto heady and steady tastes of you, insisting behind your teeth and tasting you. 

When he detaches from your lips and kisses down your cheek and jaw, you moan, completely lost in it. He moans in response as he presses desperate but gentle kisses down the column of your throat, fueled by your husky groans of desperation. “S-seokjin,” you stutter, blinkly thickly as you try to break out of the haze. 

“Hm?” He mutters into your neck, but the feeling of his breath over the places he was just kissing make you shiver. As if sensing your approval, he moves back to your lips, throwing you into a loop of happiness and lust all over again. You’re thankful the both of you are sitting because right now, the hand twisted into the shirt your wearing and the other one anchored on the back of your neck are the two things that are keeping you from just melting into a puddle of nothing. 

You’re just sitting there, trying your hardest to keep up with his kisses, when he grips your chin and detaches from you, lips shiny and glistening as he narrows his eyes down at you. Your lashes flutter as you come out of the haze of the moment, smaller hands coming up to grip his wrists as they hold your cheeks. 

He’s breathing heavily, another testament to how thoroughly he’d kissed you, in addition to his blown pupils and swollen lips. You blink up at him. He takes a few more seconds, just looking down at you hard, and huskily asks you, “A-are you sure you want this?” 

His question carries so much weight in it. But even before he can ask again, you’re leaning in, whispering “yes, yes,” and he relents, understanding immediatley. His large hands rake down your back and settle on the small of your waist, lifting you slightly and helping you curve closer to him and clamber on his lap.

There’s something prodding against your inner thigh, and you sigh into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck at the sensation. It’d been so long, since you were last kissed or even held like this. Your fingers are scratching at the nape of his neck, and he groans as you do, loving the sensation. 

The sound pools straight in between your legs and you become embarassing conscious of how wet you are. Cringing, you focus on gripping the hem of his sweater, and carding it up over his head. When you break away from him to get it out of the way, he lets you take it off of him, but immediately grips your hands from undoing the buttons of his dress shirt underneath. He kisses you fiercely, letting go of your wrists and finding the waistline of your skirt, where your blouse is tucked into. 

You help him, raising your arms over your head as he untucks your blouse and discards it to the floor. You’re kneeling above him, hands finding purchase and balance on his shoulders, trembling and unsure of what to do when Seokjin keeps kissing you with your now bare torso pressed against his still clothed one. 

Somehow, admist the kissing, he’d removed your bra, and your nipples are bare and cold and hard against the soft material of his shirt. He cuts off the kiss, wrapping a strong arm around your waist as he mouths along the skin right above your breast, nipping and licking the soft skin there with soft kisses. 

He breaths in heavily when he reaches the center of your chest, closing his eyes and muttering a low, “Shit.” The other hand slowly comes up over your waist and rests right against your ribcage, centimeters away from your breast. “Fuck,” he mutters, and you grow infinitely more wet. You’d never heard him curse like that before. 

And there’s no warning when at once, he swoops down to nip lightly at the swell of your breast and suck onto your hardened nipple, this other large hand coming up to cup your other breast, thumb swiping over the nipple and holding the weight of your breast in it. 

“O-oh my god, S-seokjin,” you whimper, head dropping low and curling into him in morbid embarrassment at how good this feels. You’re hot and burning all over, all of your sensations and emotions at the moment focused in the place where his mouth is sucking, licking long and warm licks over you. “O-oh my g--” All you can croak out ugly, are moans and croaks of his name and very in-comprehensive strings of words. 

When the sensations become too much, and the wetness in your underwear becomes uncomfortable, you regretfully detach him from your breasts and tilt his head up to yours as you kiss him desperately. He groans into the kiss, reading your arousal easily. “Fuck,” he whispers against your lips, “do you want this?” 

“Yes, yes, yes,” you whimper, shaky fingers undoing his shirt. “I’ve never wanted anything more in this world.” 

His eyes widen at that. “Seriously?” 

You nod, biting your lip as you finally get the shirt open, your eyes widening at the expanse of skin that’s revealed, and you smooth your hands over his torso. He was so chiseled! He didn’t have an Abercrombie-worth model six pack of abs, but the faint lines in his chest and his abdomen were the perfect mix of Seokjin and attractiveness that made you moan like an animal in heat and grind down onto his hardness. 

At the motion, he groans, gently gripping your hair and moving it to the side to mouth at your neck again. His other hand grips the hem of the dress shorts you’re wearing and unbuttons it quickly. Your hands card his shirt down his arms and out of the way, and you stand up away from his lap to yank your shorts down and away along with your underwear. 

He drops to his knees like a starved man, zeroing in on the wetness that pools in the crotch of your underwear right before you kick it out of sight. From his position on the floor, he looks up at you, eyes blown wide with lust, “Fuck, you’re so pretty. So fucking beautiful and gorgeous. I’ve dreamed about this moment for so long.” 

You sputter, clenching your thighs together at the praise, almost buckling down again at the wave of arousal that rushes through you. He leans forward, kissing down over your ribcage, and down your stomach, you watch him with furrowed brows and unfocused eyes. When he ghosts near your core, you stutter. 

“Seokjin w-what,” 

“Please,” he breathes out, deatching from your skin like it pained him and gazing up at you with a hunger like you’ve never seen before. “Please let me taste you.” 

You almost pass out, your knees buckling and immediately Seokjin scrambles up to catch you, strong arms around your waist as you slump heavily against him. 

He chuckles, a low laugh reverberating through his chest thats pressed against your cheek. “I’ll take that as a yes?” 

You nod sheepishly, and he laughs again. “We’ll sit. Maybe standing wasnt a good idea.”

You nod again, cheeks burning hot and hands coming up to frame them as he turns the both of you and walks you backward until your knees hit your bed. You fall with him and immediately he curves over you, all broad torso and hot skin and kissing you senselessly again. 

His fingers smooth down your torso and slide over your pelvis, slipping his fingers in between your folds and parting them, rubbing down and up to collect your wetness and smear it around your clit. Your lips part in a surprised cry as your eyes squeeze shut. He chuckles at your reaction, detaching from your lips and crawling down your body as his fingers continue to rub intently at your clit. 

Your legs are useless at this point, sprawled around, so he grabs them and slowly maneuvers them up and over his shoulders as he situates himself between your legs. He kisses your inner thigh first, mouthing at the thin skin there, breathing in the heady and sweet scent of your skin first. He then lowers his mouth on you. 

“Oh m--” you’re a mess when he finally sucks your clit into his mouth and slides his fingers into you in one single motion. His fingers are slender, but long and skillful as they slide into find the exact spot that has you keening and arching up from the bed to inch towards him. His lips are thick as they seal over the entirety of the warmth between your legs, sucking and kissing and licking like he was made to this. He groans at the first taste, head reeling at how perfectly close you tasted, just as he’d imagined. He sucks at the slick arousal coating you, replacing it with the slickness of his saliva, and alternating long lasvicious licks with heady and firm circles over your clit. 

He continues with intent, paying no regard to your twitching body, but instead using your cries as fuel as he kisses you even more firmly and twists his fingers in you until you’re pushing him away, scared that you’ll cum too quickly. 

“W-wait, wait,” you stutter, eyes closed as you focus on calming your twitching your body, “g-give me a second.” 

He chuckles, and nods, waiting for you for a couple of seconds to stop twitching. “You’re so cute” he breathes lazily, watching you sitting upright as he lays down between your legs with his chin in his hands. His fingers are drawing slow circles in your thigh, and you give him a sheepish smile. 

He keeps talking though, “You’re amazing, I would never trade this for anything else, you taste so good. Fuck.” He mutters, and you squeeze your eyes as you grip his hand to stop all the sensory influx of arousal. Your core clenches around nothing as intense and heady waves of arousal pour through your body and shoot straight to your core. 

You drag him upward and kiss him intently, trying to distract yourself. He chuckles and lets you kiss him, and when you finally feel yourself relaxing a little, you somehow manage to say, “P-please, just--” You can’t seem to say it, blushing heavily and cutely muttering to yourself, so he helps you out. 

He grins and takes off his jeans and covers your body after, and helps you get comfortable against the pillows. Your mouth is so dry and you swallow thickly to dry and clear your mind, but then he grips himself and lines up with you and you lose it. 

“P-please please please,” you jumble out, garbling like a mess of emotions and syllables that you can barely understand over the haze of your emotions. “Please,” you cry, feeling like if he doesn’t put it in you, you might die. 

He takes a moment, brows furrowing at the effort of taking it slow. “Y/N, I--” he croaks out, holding himself inches above you with an elbow next to your head. You nod, hands smoothing over his cheeks. “I...I am so happy right now. I will never ever never hurt you. I promise...and I imagined for so long,” he chokes out and stumbles on his words, but you get exactly what he’s saying. You nod, smiling dreamily up at him, because at this moment right now, he’s everything and all you’ve ever wanted in your life. 

He smiles thankfully at you and presses in slowly, agonizingly slow. But he’s careful and slowly curves insistently into you until you’re gasping and clutching onto his shoulders because it’s so hot and wet and tight and you feel like you’re going to die and fall apart right that moment. 

“Shit,” he says hoarsely, sweating from the effort and weakly grinning down at you. “Y-you feel so fucking good.” 

You nod in agreement, not being able to produce any coherent words at this moment. And Seokjin also takes it as a sign to move. He pulls out slowly, scraping at the front walls of your core and then fucking back deeply and back in again. You throw your head back into the sheets next to his elbow in pure ecstasy, moaning loudly as he repeats the motion, building momentum and speed. 

An arm leaves the side of your head and curls down to grip your thigh and hook it up over his hip, and you cry out as the head of his cock prods the spot in you that has you clenching down and trembling with a hoarse cry of his name. He moans loudly in response to your tightness, his voice cracking at the effort of trying not to cum too early. To distract himself, he leans down and mouths at yours, swallowing your moans and cries. 

When you quiet down, he continues to grind against you, fucking deep and slow into you so that his cock hits your spot with every stroke and it’s only a few strokes into it that you feel it coming. Your lower belly clenches with tension, the rush of hormones and emotions through your head growing louder and more hot as he groans into your mouth at your tightness. 

“I-I-” you cry out, detaching from his mouth at the approaching orgasm, “I’m gonna c- oh my god, S-seokjin, I-I love you so much,” you cry out, clutching at his shoulders as his rhythm speeds up to match your declarations. 

He groans into your neck as you spasm around him, crying out his name and back arching into his chest as you’re thrown over the edge roughly, the heat and wetness rushing through you, throbbing around him. He grunts as he continues to grind against you through it, thrusting once, twice, before he too is thrown over the edge at the sensation of your tightness and wetness. You’re still shaking by the time he’s sane enough to talk, eyes shut and trembling in the subsiding waves of your orgasm. 

His cock is hard and deep in you, and you’re so relieved you might cry, finally being able to orgasm with someone else after years of having to put up with your clumsy fingers and boring porn videos. He’s so perfect, and so good, and the perfect size for you and your body. He leans down and kisses you as he waits for you to come back, thumbs swiping away the tears that slipped past your lids, lips gently swiping against your open mouth. 

His hand comes up and presses firmly against your chest, rising and falling with the heavy breathing that you’re doing, waiting until your breathing calms and your eyes flutter open to blink up at him. 

He smiles down at you. “Me too.” He whispers back, and new tears pool in your lashes because you know exactly what he means, and it meant the world to you. When you don’t say anything in response, he assures you, “I love you, Y/N. So much I thought I was gonna die if I waited another day to tell you. I’m sorry you beat me to it.” 

You shake your head, crying tears of joy as you wrap your arms around him and pull him close to you. You’re crying and laughing and kissing him which is pointless because he’s smiling and laughing so much that you can’t even kiss him properly. But it doesn’t matter. 

Nothing matters, except him. 

2 years later

“Guys,” Seokjin calls, and the class quiets down as he stands, tall and happily in the front of the room. You watch him from your desk in your shared classroom. Today was the last month of school, your students now seniors and in their graduating year, ready to be sent off to amazing universities and programs for their futures. 

It had been a great 2 years of wonderful dating. There had already been a hundred rumors going around as the students watched the both of you interact, and it was no secret that there was something. But this was the class of students who had been there through it all, from when the fued had started as the both of you pranked each other, became partners and co-taught a class, helped students through their programs and exams, and eventually became best friends and lovers. You thought you owed them an apology for telling them so late and giving them the truth that indeed, the both of you were dating. 

He’d been enthusiastic about it too, for some reason, and had insisted that you do it on the day of their graduation, with the specific class clustered in the classroom like right now. 

You rolled your eyes as he begins speaking. 

“Well, I’ve heard a lot of rumors circulating around the school that Ms. Y/N and I are dating.” 

Giggles and whistles erupt around the room as the students laugh and tease about it. 

He quiets them down. “And I just want to say, yes, we are dating.” 

The room erupts in screams and yelling as the students jump out of their seats in cheers and yells and high-fives at the news. You grin sheepishly from where you’re sitting, too shy to try and do whatever the hell Seokjin is doing. 

“But!” he yells, and the students quiet down. 

“We’re more than just dating! I really really really love Ms. Y/N!” 

You widen your eyes as he turns to you, and the class begins to grow restless as they watch him walk up to you. “Y/N, you’re my best friend, my partner, my girlfriend, my favorite person to watch The Office with, the best driver I’ve ever known, and the best teacher and educator I will ever know. But one thing is certain, is that all of these qualities are why I love you so much, because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and that’s all I could’ve ever wished for.” 

You sit there in shock as he gets on one knee in front of you and holds up a ring. “Will you marry me?” 

The class erupts in cheers as you tearfully nod and throw your arms around him and immediately the doors of your classroom bang open and all your coworkers and friends and family are there to cheer along with you as you hold onto Seokjin. 

He grins down at you amidst all the loud cheering and whooping and yelling, and pecks you on the lips. “I love you so much.” 

You wipe your tears, mock punching him in the shoulder. “I thought you were gonna just tell them we were dating, moron.” 

He laughs, not even minding. “I wanted everyone you love to be there. Like you’ve always wanted.” 

You smile and nod, leaning up to press your lips against him again, ignoring the cheers and whistles in the background. 

“I love you too. You’re all that I’ve always wanted.” 

[domitiadrusilla]

Curtain Call

To lose yourself, it is a conscious decision, a point that crosses over your periphery where you decide to push past the fray and careen further. I heard that ballerinas train a lot like runners, but at some point I’d became one and the same. I never wore a white tutu, mine had been lilac when I performed, dancing with sprinkled lining cheek bones and puffs. I didn’t have to push myself, since I had already been for years. The other girls would wince as they pressed their limbs to bend to their limits, yet mine like liquid flowed with ease. Even as youth, we were pressured to perform above and beyond. Because in Two, there is no fray, no middle ground, or in between. A girl in lilac can’t exist in a town of concrete and hollow skyscrapers. She must leap into the darkness and embrace her sprouting midnight wings, since her final performance approaches. You can’t wait to be called, you must always grasp it in your hands, your final dance.

It took until the gauntlet when I learned the true meaning of flight. You don’t relive the high of reaching ungodly heights, all you remember is the spilt iron on the floor and the feeling of the earth collapsing beneath your feet as you fall. I fell into a routine after the iron of Thrax, after making a promise with the headmaster. One year to improve, if not I’m on the streets. She called it probation; the others called it freeloading, but I called it surviving. So I didn’t give a fuck at their snide comments, I kept my head held high as Dad told me, throwing that anger into training. Since he told me this is a dance that doesn’t cease until I’m dead, but oh how the audience would live to see me spin out. That's what they live for, what the audience craves as my whip cracks. Although I only danced once, every bull crack against flesh is a tango in itself, with my hips swaying to the rhythm I set. If this is my dance, then I’ll play to my melody and mine alone.

Valentine knew this, but he always wanted to a duet, despite dancing with his own glaive next to me. Once the gauntlet began as Cain hid in his caves, I finally humored him. We would exchange sly glances as he would show up at hours far behind the sun, staying in silence as sweat and brute strength echoed in the room. I think I gave him an idea for his last scene at the beginning, as I plucked his glaive from the rack and swirled it like a baton. Batons and bullwhips go together if you haven’t heard, although the audience didn’t expect them to. Setting the opening after tossing him his glaive, a coachmen’s crack had been our starting gun.

There's a certain thrill to a performance, the audience's eyes on you, the grazing of metal to flesh, the scent of iron and sweat in the air. It’s almost a primal dance, with his glaive slicing the back of my head, dripping maroon down my neck. My side arm crack and the audience's applause too distracted me before I could have fully twirled away. Naturally, I paid him back tenfold with a forward lash to his cheek. Valentine stumbled at the unexpected force, spatting blood at my feet, hand clutching his face as it pulsated blood all over his neck. There was a hushed air that had overtaken with cheers dying down as an intense focus emerged. The fight had finally begun. “Come on Valentine, don’t get soft on me.” He didn’t answer, besides offering a broad smiled compliment. “It’s nice to finally share the stage, isn’t it?” His emerald eyes offered warmth even through pain, and with a quick lunge and the swivel of my hips, his blade sliced into my right hip. We typically wore armor, but not for a fight like ours. In the arena, there wasn’t armor to protect ourselves. So when fighting for our rightful spots, we didn’t wear any. There's a mutual respect to not take things too far, but there for two kids who came from where we did, I couldn’t afford to lose.

With the lurch of my forearm upright, the leather looped satisfyingly, flickering blood at the overhead crack that bounced off the walls. His eyes trailed after it, an uneasiness knitting across his brown brows. He couldn’t have moved quick enough, for my forearm had already jutted forward, delivering a deep gash to his other face. Blood splattered across the ground as I pulled my whip back, hand grasping the leather to squeeze the remnants off, dripping in between my feet and onto my boots. Two gaping flesh wounds mirrored each side to his prior beautiful face. I always mocked he was too pretty for a career, and even afterward once they healed he didn’t look too bad afterward. “Well, Topher, perhaps I can teach you a thing or two. It looks like you could use it.” I called over, cockiness flowing through my stride with a coy grin on my lips. Part of me enjoyed seeing his smile whipped away, his eyes hardening into a scowl. But he always begged for this fate, and I merely just aim to please.

By then my taunting words and pale look that glazed his freckled face had thrown him off his game, even if a grin had returned to his lips, wiping blood off them with his thumb at a question with no answer. “Twice, huh?” Yet his cockiness had caused him to fumble his blade, swiveling the long weapon into the air before slashing downward, delivering a strike that I easily sidestepped. The discomfort of sweat and blood melding my curls to one another, combined with his perseverance, rubbed me the wrong way. Perhaps he had been purposefully missing or grazing me, to just surprise me. Wanting to end this already, getting a tad cocky, my leather found his right calf, wrapping around it which he used to his advantage. Despite the whip cutting through his pants, digging into his calf, he pulled it backward, sticking his glaive forward, jutting it into my stomach.

There was a collective gasp awaiting my next move. Brief concern mirroring his stained face, clenching his jaw as my hands grasped the metal rod. Holding an unwavering gaze, iron rolled tainted my lips, licking the metal away as my hands grasped the metal, pulling it further into me. A sound of disgusted groans wavered in the air, but it was merely music to my ears. I couldn’t let him know he hurt me. Despite a searing bright flash of pain echoing throughout my core. Shoving the metal rod backward, releasing Valentine from my grasp as the words escaped my lips. “Well played.” Whip limp on the ground, by the time I flicked my curls backward after retrieving the cast away leather, I heard the shuffling of feet, finding him suddenly half way across the platform. Desperation now evident in his features, he tilted his glaive downward before swirling it, positing himself in a warrior's stance. It was an odd sight, I slowly walking towards him as smirked coyly, taunting him. “What are you going to do, kill me? Run all you want, but my whip won’t hide.”

But then he did it. He broke my patience.

Like a roman god, his body launched the glaive into the air towards me as if it were a javelin. I dove into the concrete beneath us, right forearm and leg scrapping as the blade narrowly landed by my face, careening into the crowd. The room suddenly became too loud, as I let out a cry at the feeling of blood squelching out of my abdomen, and at the screams from the crowd. Forcing myself up, the boy had been muttering to himself, closing his eyes with a smile as I stomped over to him. “Are you fucking kidding me, Topher? The hell is wrong with you?!” There had been kids in the audience, ones who were barely reapable. Anger pulsated through my veins, voice booming with a force that silenced the air. Flexing my wrist once more, I quickly closed the distance, eyes narrowing as he knelt down in defeat, pointing to his barely recognizable face with a final request. “Finish me, you’ve earned it.” Although he disgusted me in that moment, I did as he pleaded, slashing down against his chest with a splintering crack. The boy collapsed under the weight of himself, I to my knees as I discarded the whip. Applause broke out, my vision waning, scooping the boy up in my arms, my hair veiled us from them as my hands smoothed his matted hair away from his eyes. Vocal range depleted and softened, my gaze slipped out from its malice, words echoing as he slipped into unconsciousness. “Don’t be such a fool.”

By the time I awoke, they had placed us in the infirmary. My body ached in ways it hadn’t before, heavily influenced under drugs to the tune of a bandaged stitched stomach. Although a numbed euphoria coursed through me, my stomach turned at the feeling, thinking of the man that bloomed in the metal bathtub. Pushing myself off the table as the room had cleared out for the next emergency, I pulled the IVs out from my arm to a wince, stumbling for him. They had enveloped his face in cotton tinged in pink. He looked at peace, like a content street dog. The sky cried behind us when he awoke, leaning over to me as he whispered. “Let’s get out of here.” That afternoon was the first time I left the academy since Thrax. The first time I ran through alleyways with glee and climbed atop skeleton skyscrapers and sat perched amongst an emptied rooftop. I tried looking for my home as Valentine sat in a discarded lawn chair that somehow made its home up here, but it had blurred into the city beneath me, worn away and faded with age. I promised to myself one day I’ll return to that spot, to find the faded purple tutu and coiled bun, toothy grin held by a man before his back gave out, before he bloomed in that metal tub that I had to wash away. Valentine asked what I had been looking for by the time I joined him, but all I could answer was “something long gone.” The sky died and faded away into pinched lights in a sea of blackness, I clutching to a buoy of a faded lawn chair.

That was the last day I saw Valentine. On the day I lost myself in an ocean of blood and stars, only left with memories of scars and abandoned Polaroids to never be found.

[incendavery]

gosh, thank you! that is so sweet??? I hope you (and any other of my followers who celebrate!) have/had a very happy Eid!💖 💕

on another note, I’ve finally gotten around to cleaning out my askbox! under the cut is almost every ask I’ve gotten that i haven’t answered in the past.... I’m not sure. it’s been a WHILE though.

as a warning, there’s all sorts of stuff, and it’s all untagged! also also, if you sent one of these asks and want me to remove it, just let me know!

yes!! @fuckaspunk IS super sweet and talented and i AM very lucky to have them! and I’ve heard from reliable sources that the feeling is mutual~~💕

i’m glad my comics make you feel less alone; that’s a rough situation you’re in. i really hope you find yourself in a better environment soon!

thank you!!!💕

thank you for understanding! and yes, aidan is a huge help to me??? even when they’re not answering asks, they’re always supporting me in some way, whether that’s making sure I’ve eaten enough, or talking me through my anxiety, or all the other ways they’re there for me every single day💕💕

ok, my tips are!!:

draw as much as possible! even if it’s just lines and shapes with no meaning, you’re still developing your hand/eye skills

BUT: dont draw if you’re not feeling it! if you’re feeling fried, it’s better to take a break. go on a walk to somewhere scenic, read your favorite book, listen to some new music, hang out with friends, or just take a nap! rest up and find some inspiration! you can come back to your sketchbook when you feel energized again

draw stuff that you like! you’ll improve way faster if you’re passionate about what you’re doing

look at art you like with a critical eye. try to examine the different components and figure out what you think works or doesn’t work. try incorporation those components into your own work

read a lot of tutorials and other resources, but take what they say with a grain of salt

ultimately, remember that the only real rule to drawing is that doing it should make you happy

good luck!! i do my best not to pick, but it’s a real struggle; i have lots of scars from it too. ;v; im cheering for you!!!

ALWAYS!!!! if you do, please show me!! my notifications get real busy, but anyone is welcome to IM me any time!

thank you! i actually get very worried about my style; i tend to admire artists with complex linework and delicate shading, so i often feel my style is far to simple! so thank you!!

that is really high praise????? gosh??!?!?!? best of luck with the next three years; i hope you grow to be someone you like even better than me!

thank you!!

peanut time is the best!! i haven’t gotten to do a proper one in a while though ;-; i’ve mostly been feeding the crows on my way back home from night shifts, when i give them the reject eggs from the continental breakfast.

wow, neat!! chickens are so wonderful; i cont wait until i can have some of my own :>

dont be nervous! i know i can be hard to get ahold of over the internet (bc i get overwhelmed easily) and hard to talk with irl (bc i get so nervous and interacting w ppl doesn’t come naturally to me AT ALL) but honestly i?? love making new friends??!

thank you!!? im thankful every day that someone as radient as aidan is in my life for the long haul

thank you!!!!!!!💕

i completely feel that? its ok to hit rough patches! just do your best!!

i dont remember what i felt bad about but THANK YOU💕💕

honestly its done me worlds of good to share my art?? hearing people talk about how they go through all the same shit i do makes me feel so much less alone, especially on the toughest days! so i guess thank you, and thank you?

youre welcome!!!! :>

huh!! i dont know much about shoegaze (other than thinking abt that post abt the guy who pronounced it like fugazi I THINK ABT THAT EVERY TIME) but thats real neat!! im glad youve found something that works for you!!

hey, neat middle name! and youre very welcome; i hope things have been looking up for you since you sent this?💕

i dont remember when this was from but im currently doing really well with my meds!! i switched to a combination of lexapro in the morning and benadryl in the evening, and its been working super well!✨

thank you??!! ;o; i would love to see all your favorite birds!!

hey, right back atcha!!!

:0

ty!!!

hey. thank YOU

you’re absolutely not bothering me! thank you so much!!

!!!!!!!!!!

hey, nice! im glad you like both me and my music!

gosh thanks?!?!

she is the most beautiful and handsome!!!!!!!!!!!! i love her! thank you from both of us!!!!

aw, gosh! im sure i like you too!!

this was from.... A WHILE AGO.... but youre welcome?? i just wish i could have done more

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

thank YOU and a very very belated merry christmas!!!

that does make sense!! reconciling friendships and crushes is tricky business. the best i can say to you is to be as honest and open with each other as you can

i dont personally get those, but ive heard of people experiencing them as a sideeffect when coming off or switching meds

i think these two are part of the same message? but oh man yeah that sucks when ppl are misgendering you AND hitting on you at the same time. on a different note, ive never heard of using a corset to stim before! neat!

i mean, 1. depression doesn’t care if you have a “””good””” reason and 2. ive literally never met anyone w depression (including myself) who thinks that they do have a “””good””” reason for having it. thats the insidious part of depression, is that it makes you think that theres nothing wrong and that its all just you not measuring up in some way

so i guess that would make you.... someone with depression?

real BAD

💕 💖 💞  💓  💗

not yet haha THANK YOU

hey, im glad you like it!! since this blog has gotten so big, its kinda my happy place to be? (for anyone wondering, my reblog blog/personal is @spinels!

that IS a fun fact!! thank you!

it’s absolutely ok! i get a little bitter when people take my work WAY out of context (for example, straight people removing the caption that says “im just really gay” before tagging their bf/gf) but i am 100% ok and happy with people relating to my work in a different way than i intended (ex: a comic i made about being ashamed of my derma getting reblogged by someone struggling to be ok w their visible burn scars)

hoo gosh, thank you!!

glad to have you here!! im glad people can relate to some of the weirdly specific shit i write about tbh???

i’m sorry its taken so long for me to get back to you; that a terrible situation

if you have a teacher you trust, i would absolutely bring it up to them. that is 100% not an ok thing for those kids to be doing. at all.

im glad you at least have your friends that support you! 

:0 WAIT is this someone i know through ucsc?? :0 :0 :0

HA 

aaaa thank you! that is high praise ;v;

i have no words; this is such a touching message. thank you so much ;v;

this is belated but!! the main creative community i can recommend is kzsc, the radio station! i had a real cool time there, and its a great way to make friends and connect with ppl of all sorts! :0

yeah, its totally normal! ive had roommates ive been super tight with, and roommates who i barely ever hung around with. its natural! i doubt you’ll finish college w/o finding a roomie that you get ~The Roomie Experience~ with though, even if its like a housemate or s/t!! ;0

i’ve never been told that, actually! neat!! (and wow?? i cant believe i inspire ppl.... wow......... what a concept tbh??)

oh yikes... i do hope youre feeling better :( im glad my comics can help a little bit at least!

💕 💖 💞  💓  💗!!!

HUGS

i dont remember what this was in reference to, but good to know?

also good to know!?

i think the crows and jays do! i dunno about the squirrels and other birds. and thank you!!

the youth gang..... i love it..... how good???!

i wrote about getting yuri right here! he’s a southern alligator lizard and i love him to bits. 

heres a pic of the Long Boy doin his thing:

hey neat! i’m glad youve chosen a lame you can be proud of!!💖

ive never heard of that!! wow

what play is this?? :0 :0 :0 im so curious now!!

oh SHUCKS...,,,,,,,,,, ;v;

hahahaha omg thank u

i dont actually have any more of them interacting, unfortunately! the owl isnt one specific person, like a lot of my characters are meant to represent. the owl more represents as a whole all the people i run into in my life that i am very very gay for.

thank you!!!

youre very welcome! im glad you feel better!!!!

aaa gosh thank you!!!

hhhhfgh ive gotten less of it recently BUT YEAH that was bad times™️ 

thanks for the info!!! :0

no problem! a lot of the credit honestly goes to @fuckaspunk, who is always keeping me updated on that sort of stuff.

i didn’t know that! a lot of the symbolism seems to come from multiple sources sometimes, from what ive seen?

aaaa gosh omg thank you ;v;

aw thank you???!!

nice!!! oct 24 bdays go!!!

thank you!! it really does mean a lot actually!!!!!!!

of course?? antisemitism cant be ignored in this fight

aw, thats so cute! id love to hear what headcanons you have tbh???

hey thanks?! this is really cool to hear, tbh. i try to be positive most of the time, but im not going to like,,, kid myself when im not feeling it and im glad that other people can appreciate that too, ya know?

wow!!

(this one!) thank you i love that one too???!

hey, im glad you found your way here!! thank you so much!!!

aaaa ty! 

hmmm i have two leopard geckos, and they made very good beginning lizards for me and aidan! but i would maybe ask someone a bit more experienced than me, like @kaijutegu​ or @wheremyscalesslither​!!

thank you!!

one day at a time! (but seriously, thank you!!)

yummy yummy sauce...... ty!!!

awww, gosh! thank you!?

AAAA TY BOTH I GET SO SELF-CONSCIOUS ABT MY VOICE,,,,, ;o;

:0 i havent watched that, but it sounds rly cool!!

i like that fun fact a lot! ty!!

pae stands for paerlin, which is what @fuckaspunk​‘s internet handle used to be! i used it to refer to them on my blog in secret back when they still didnt know i had a crush on them.... ;//v//;

aaaaa thank you!!!  ;o;

nice nice nice ty!!

>:0 get back down here!! (jk that’s rly neat! highfive!!) 

those are all good words that i like!! thank you!!!!

i dont know anything about him, but i looked him up and i guess i can see it?!

@fishcrow is really cool! ive never really interacted with them, but im p sure were mutuals...? anyway yeah their comics are rly cute and cool!

that is me! thank you; i hope things go well for you as well!

hello to you too!

aaaa ty!!! tbh the number of nice anons i get way way way outnumbers the mean ones <3

thank you! thank YOU for existing!

:0 chocolate croissant, here i come!!!

thank you!!!!!!💕

its literally my pleasure!!!

aaa ty!!! 💕💕

hehe im glad! 

sldf;j;sfjdklfdslfjs thank you so much?????? what a compliment omg gosh

yeah!! i have a hard time on settling what class id be, but i feel like id be a heart player! 

ohh um! im not sure which pens youre referring to, but if you mean the ones I use for my comics, i color them with��Winsor & Newton ProMarkers, and I do the lines with a purple fine-point Sakura Gelly Roll Classic pen! i also use micron pens of all different sizes and colors in some of my non-diary comic art!

aww thank you so much!!

:0 :) :0 !!!!!!

ty!!! ive grown to love him very much as well!!

thank you! i hope you are doing well also!!

i love them very much?!! id put a picture but i dont have one with all four of them so instead imagine me lying on the floor crying abt how much i love them bc thats me basically every day

you dont mean......

?!?!?!?!?!?!

awwww ty!!!

HEY WOW

aaa gosh thank you!💕

DOUBLE FOLLOW

gay dragons combine the best of both very good things: gay and dragons. im glad you appreciate them w me tysm ;v;

aaa what a lovely message! ty💕

3rd-shift-working, depression-having, corvid-loving solidarity fistbumnp!!!!

huh! ive never heard of that; ill check it out maybe!!

ah im really glad? tysm!!💕

my understanding is that it helps people who have text-to-speech readers? but im honestly not as well informed on that as i should be! 

hell yeah!!!! 

gosh!!!!!

hnmngnhng youve probably already made a decision but i just gotta say.........shadow rulez

delicious!!

i havent!! i really want to though!

oh man ALL THE TIME. i usually try to either reality check with someone i trust, or to do an activity thats easy and i know i can do, or both!

i love andre and karl!!! its actually a huge influence on me and my art tbh??? 

i had a good (and safe) trip! ty!!!

hey, thank you!!!

oh jeez thats bad :( i think this was in response to when i needed to wait between med refills?

i cant give a precise reason, tbh! when it comes to whats lucky, i just sort of.... go with my gut, ya know?

thank you!! 👍

that sure sounds like insomnia! its almost hard for me to say tbh, bc ive had trouble sleeping for as long as i can remember, so NOT having trouble sleeping is bizarre and unrealistic to me haha... but i think the bottom line is, if its interrupting your daily routine and making it hard for you to have enough energy, then its something you should look into remedies for!

:0 :0 :0

ohhh how nice! ill give it a try! :>

omg,,,, nope, just me!

thank you!!!!!!

honestly? thats such a good way to look at it i love the idea of my blog as a big zine

always!!!!! go for it!!!

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

omg, thats so great! thank you!

im so glad; thank you!!!

thank you so much!💖 (and mexico, neat! i love hearing where people are following from??)

aaaaaaaaaaaa ;//v//; thank you??? i get so happy whenever ppl tell me they like my singing aaaaaaa

aw, hey, no worries! money is all well and good, but in some ways, messages like this mean just as much!

its cool that comic gave you plural feels! im def not a system though :> 

its tricky, isnt it? i still feel like im no good at it lmao

LISTEN,,, there is a 99.9999% chance i wont notice, and a 100% chance i wont judge. reblog away! 

THANK YOU ARENT THEY THE BEST I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

thank you!! i hope you have a good day as well!

aaa ty!!💖

aa ty! (what a cool name!!! im kind jealous ngl!)

awww thank you💖

i do my best! i just worry when im not active, bc i tend to connect my self-worth to my output (;^; )

aaaaa ty!! 💖

!!!!!!!!!!!! omg wow i love being called a pretty boy???? ty???????

hey, neat! crow high-five!

aw, thank you!!! 💖

im doing my best! thank you so much, messages like this really help when im in a place like that tbh ;v;

gosh this is so sweet? thank you so muhc !!?

thank you all!! im sorry that saying thank you over and over sounds so repetitive, but i truely do mean it for every one of you!!!

i am..... one of those things!

well thank you!!

ohoho~✨

thank you! and honestly im sure it does??

hey, cool! good for you!!!!!!! and ty!!

aw gosh thank you!💖

hey, wow! thats super cool; thank you so much!

(i dont follow the first person i followed on tumblr anymore.... they became a hockey blog rip haha)

aaaah, thank you so much!!

almost???

i do!! drunken lullabies is an absolute banger!!!!!!!!!!

i am!!!! thank you!!

aw, ty!!! 💖

hee hee, thank you! 

my biggest tip honestly?? have someone who can be by your side to help you with... basically everything... during your recovery. bc trust me, i was n o t  a v a i l a b l e. i spent a lot of my recovery playing 2048 at the same time as watching tv, bc doing both at once distracted me from how much the bandages itched.

thank you!! (i think this was in reference to getting top surgery!)

how shitty??????? yikes. i hope your supervisor has your back??? bc wow????

hey!!! thank you!!! i draw all my comics traditionally on paper! im not sure what you mean by the writing though? if you mean the word bubbles, i do those by hand on paper too!

I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT FEELING,,,, im so happy ppl talk to me, but i get really nervous about saying the wrong thing. 

when i’m down, i usually crave validation. i like being reminded about things ive done right! i also like gentle reality checks, like, ‘hey: this is the situation, this is what we can do about it. ok? ok’

i unfortunately dont have any!! i had a couple at one point, but they’ve since been lost to the depths of my old laptop. and hey, thank you so much!!

now thats a nifty trick!! im terrible at telling all my white tablets from each other lmao

!!!!!!! ITS ME!!!!!!!!

maybe you just need some space? i know i sometimes temporarily block people i know, if i need some private space or if i dont trust myself to keep cool and solve problems constructively. do what you need to do to feel at ease, and go from there, ya know?

thank you!!!

its,,,, up somewhere above in this monster post lmao i,m so sorry,,,,

thank you so much!!!

WOW NO WORRIES??,,,,,,,,, INCREDIBLE 10/10???????

all four of these came right after i gave myself a hair cut and THANK YOU SO MUCH??? i live for validation and it feels so good to have my actions affirmed ;o;