#man ive been so busy trying to catch up i havent had time to go thru the tag and see everyone's submissions and follow other peeps......

[tamamorikun]

Day 4 - AU - pokemon!

(hosted by @minthe-drawings !)

Do I really love something if I don't draw a pokemon au for it? Galar linoone is an obvious choice but purrloin (and liepard) seemed fitting cause he's definitely a pokemon contest boy.

I ended up being late cause it's past midnight again but 🥲

[sakasakiii]

ohhHHHh brother,,, is this another sketch dump after an undisclosed number of weeks of absence and online inactivity? yessir it sure is but i sure hope it won't stay that way 🤞 apologies again for disappearing, but im on break for the next couple of months for the summer so i have a lot planned and im hoping to catch up with... everything!

i put a little status update under the cut but feel free to skip that cuz its just me explaining some things ive had on my mind hoho 😙😙 happy 1st of june everyone!!!

a lot of things have been happening irl that im still getting used to, but thank you for always being very patient 🙇‍♀️ i apologise for disappearing again after i promised id start being more active again in... januARY??? man oh man the year is passing by tooooo fast holy smokes

i havent had much time to be on social media since then, but ive gotten some email notifs from ppl sending in such kind messages via inbox, and its really made me go AUGHHHHH in the midst of whatever im doing cuz it means the world to me 🥺���️ if youre someone who's sent in something over the past year since i started hiatus in march 2023, IM REALLY SORRY AGAIN 😭😭 i always try to keep up with my policy of one-art-piece-per-ask, but because of that sometimes i just procrastinate a lot or get stuck on finding relevant things to draw as thanks. ive been brainstorming some ideas, though, and its my goal to get through a hefty sum of em before things get real busy again in a few months 😤

im really sorry again for being so inconsistent this past year, but im gonna do my best! i hope everyone on here's been doing good and im raring to see everything new with silm tumblr ❤️❤️ also if anyone has any recs for any new content pls feed me for i am starvedddd

[kuni-is-daddy]

I just want Scara to be an asshole giving me mixed signals, he sees us one day talking with Dottore and that’s a big no. He’s going to have to show you that your his (please I’m so down bad for this man) 🛐🛐

OMG AAA THAT MADE ME SAD BCUZ I SPECIFICALLY DONT FW DOTTORE BC OF SCARA. BUT THATS WHY HES SUCH A GOOD VILLAIN 😭

Brat.

DOM!Scaramouche x SUB! Female fatui harbinger reader.

Scara fic list

1.2k WORDS. FILTH.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Dottore trying to convince you to antagonize scaramouche and take advantage of him just so he can get off more experiments. Mentioning how its visible that scaramouche has a 'tolerance to you' unlike the rest of the fatui(except his 'bestie' Childe) Scaramouche would overhear this and only this part of the conversation.

Scaramouche would distance himself from you during dinner and missions for the rest of the week. During a gathering to honor childe and La signora for retrieving the geo archons gnosis you'd stand next to him and begin the conversation.

"Kuni? Love? How is your missions going? You've been busy lately and...we really havent had much time to talk. Do you want to catch up at my place after?" Scara had no intention of talking to you for god knows how long because he was truly hurt after seeing you talk to dottore. He started to believe over the course of the days he's been distant to you that you just didnt care, but after hearing 'you've been busy lately' he just assumed that you really we're oblivious. At the thought of it he smirked and then scoffed you off with a "Ok" while you smiled and gave him a one sided hug.

Scara who would purposely leave the gathering early just to wait for you inside your room in your house, Only with a black shirt and shorts on. "Oh- Kuni..Your already..here..I forgot you had a key. I see you made yourself at home" Youd try to brush it off with a laugh but his cold gaze upon you just gave you shivers. He pinned you against the wall and asked you immeditately. "What we're you doing with dottore?"

Smutt:

'Dottore..how did-' "S-scara We're you spying on me?!" he scoffed "Of fucking course i was? Where the hell we're you?! Ive been looking for you for fucking days and then I catch you with that bastard?! Have you forgotten what HE did to me y/n?" "No! No i havent.. Is that what this is about? because i talked to Dottore 1 time your all frustrated like this?" Scara was even more pissed off. first you talk to his enemy then act like its nothing. He was beyond fed up. "Kuni.. please, It was just for work. I would kill him in a heartbeat if it wasn't for our Excellency." "Yeah I know what fucking work you two we're talking about. Taking advantage of me? Huh? is that what you wanted to do Brat." "What?! no Kuni I'd never hurt-" He slammed his hand around your throat "AGh- Kuni-" "how about I take advantage of you huh? You want that?" You knew you were going to get punished anyway, god you despised your job even more. "Y-yes.. Kuni." "Good, that's what I wanted to fucking hear from you brat. Take off your top."

You nervously strip Infront of your s/o after he releases his grip off of your neck, gasping for air. "Shit look at these tits.." he leaned his head towards your chest, looking up at your expression before licking around your boobs. "Kuni~ stop.." you moaned while placing your hand against his smooth hair. "No. I'm going to mark your fucking body so you know your mine. Take it like a good girl." He caressed both of your breasts with his hands while rubbing your nipples with his finger. "K-Kuni! Be gentle..ah..your going too rough~" "shit.. I love how sensitive you are around your breasts. Makes me so hard. Are you wet for me Y/n?" You panned your face away and pouted. He grabbed hard on one of your boobs "AH~ Y-YES KUNI~" "Your so pathetic y/n, I'm trying to take your punishment slow yet you can't even answer for me. Maybe I should take you right now." He pulled away from your chest and moved his fingers down to your pants. You tried to pull away yet only now realizing you we're still against the wall. "Your so..wet y/n....love hearing your body throb for me..just like that.", He bit into the side of your neck, sucking while rubbing his finger against your clit "Scara..please AH~"

"Mmm mmm brat~ don't fucking beg for me now. I don't care about some shit rank, you need to know your worth. How your mine. How your my cocksleve. We're you showing yourself off to that sick fuck? Could he make you moan out like this?" "N-nO master~ I wouldn't..im' all yours~" Kuni's hard on grew though his pants. "Yeah theirs my good girl. Say master again and I'll let you cum on my fingers." His pace became rapid, scara put 2 inside of you as both of your body's jerked back and forth against the wall as if he was fucking you. It was too much, you could feel your heartbeat fastening in your chest, the lewd moans you let out while scara kept moaning praises in your ear "Yeah..just like that. Cum on masters fingers, be my good girl. Y/n. Cum for me. Cum baby."

"M-MASTER AH~ F-FUCK KUNI~" you gripped onto his back hard as you came along his fingers, legs shaking from the burning orgasm you just had. "God..look at how much you came on my fingers." He licked up your juices. "Ugh...you taste so good y/n. So fucking good. Maybe I shouldn't punish you since you did so well." He began picking up your shirt and bra. Up until you got on your knees, sticking your tongue out while pointing towards your mouth. He turned his head and immediately dropped your clothes. "Mmm look at this. And here I was thinking to let out off the hook" he squatted down to your height. Staring at the newfound desperation in your eyes while grabbing your hair.

"I don't care if the tsaritsa herself or the divine wants you against me. You'll only listen to me. And you'll only be mine, Y/N."

[daddynegandesires]

Secrets chapter 3

Summary: ellies birthday and mothers day is coming up as emotions and pent up anger are spiraling between you, negan, and jack while more and more secrets begin to unfold.

18+

Warming: nsfw, fluff, kink, depression, abuse

Sorry for the late update on this chapter its kind of a short one ive just have been going through some personal things and havent found the motivation to finish this one yet.❤ i hope you all like it!❤

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You and negan haven't spoke in a few days ellies birthday is today and you have been busy decorating. Negan is suppose to be picking up the cake at the store. jack has returned back from his "business trip" withq an odd hickey on his neck that keeps gawking at you everytime you speak to him. You want to avoid conflict because you arent so innocent yourself after what happen with negan last time you saw him but thats just not who you are....you have to confront him but you also dont want to ruin ellies day infront of everyone.

"Hey jack, do you mind helping me with this streamer" you called out to him from the ladder

"Sure hun" he took the streamer from your hand taping it up to the wall

"Thank you.....uh negan should be here soon with her cake" you said folding up the step ladder

"I could of went and grabbed it" he scoffs

"I uh..well sorry i didnt know it was a big deal" you try to laugh it off politely

"Dont even worry about it...." He walks past you ramming his ahoulder into you heading outside

Negan had arrive with the cake and so did a few of ellies friends and your mother. You and your mothers relationship really has never been that great but you try to make peace with it for ellies sake. Negan came in with a huge gift box all wrapped in pink with a bow.

" i thought we agreed nothing crazy" you whispered to him

"Whaat...can i not spoil my girl" negan grins at you

Ellie runs out of her room her eyes light up at the size of the gift her dad got her.

"Mommy look at this...its humongo!" She says messing with the bow

"I see honey..dont mess with it yet" you giggle

"Where is your boy toy.." His tongue slides across his bottom lip

You kept silent while negan stared you down waiting for a response but nothing came out his eyes were burning a hole through you he always knew when shit was up.

"Ah i see....the silent treatment" folding his arms

Negan walks off to go play with ellie and say hello to a few people when your mother walks up to you.

"Hey mom..." You say emotionless

"What is negan doing here.." She asks

"Mom...please dont. Thats ellies dad. I told you we are trying to work on things for ellies sake" you say annoyed.

"Well...once a cheater always a cheater. Im just saying" as she sips on her cup of wine walking away

A few hours have passed and ellie got to blow out her candles and eat cake. Jack still hasnt said much to you throughout the whole party and its more than obvious that negan is starting to catch on im just hoping he doesn't notice the hicky on his neck. Ellie has been bugging you about negans gift so you were going to let her open it.

"Ellie open it up over here sweetie so everyone can see" you say smiling

Ellie quikly rips the hot pink rapping paper off and squeals in excitement as she realizes its a electric scooter that she has been wanting. Negan was standing by your side with his hand sneakily rested on your lower back with a huge smile on his face.

"Oh my god you got me that scooter!!" Ellie begins jumping up and down

"Negan....those cost alot" you whispered in his ear

"dont worry about it....i got it taken car of" he says sternly

"Lets take it outside!!" Negans runs over and picks it up in excitment with all of the kids following him outside to ride on the scooter. You were throwing away dirty plates when jack came up to you

"So you want to explain why you and negan have been so close" he quietly says to you

You instantly start to burn with rage as he asks you that knowing he has been keeping things from you too and the fact his assistant melissa has been speaking to him inappropriately. You were holing the knife in your hand for cutting the cake reminding you of the incident that happened between you and negan once you found out he was cheating. you froze and gripped tightly on the knife thinking of how to approach this.

"You're a fucking whore..." He spat at you

"Jack.....get the fuck away from me" you quietly say

"Yeah i bet thats what you want.....so he can fuck you" he says through gritted teeth

"Its. Ellies. Birthday.....fucking knock it off we can settle this later" you slowly set the knife down unclenching your fist

Jack stands there glaring at you with his jaw clecnhed before giving up and walking away. You let out a sigh of relief and pour yourself a glass of wine. You take a sip closing your eyes feeling like everything is going in slomotion in that moment when you here yelling outside and notice its negan and jack. You drop your glass spilling your wine everywhere running outside.

"Back the fuck off man!" Jack yells with his fist balled up

"Ohh...you really want to go there dude..." Negan laughs

"You are fucking (y/n) and i know it!" Jack lunges towards him throwing a punch hitting negan in the face making him stumble

Negan catches his balace reaching up to his face touching where jack punched him in the mouth realizing he is bleeding negan licks the blood off his lips and lets out a sinister almost scary deep chuckle.

"Oh...you fucked up." Negan lunges towards jack football tackling him to the ground he starts punching jack over and over again blood all over his fists

"Negan!!!...no! Stop!" You rush over trying to pry negan off of jack

"Negan stop for ellie please!" You begin to cry struggling to finally get him off causing you to fall backwards with negan on you

"You are a dead fucking man!....now get the fuck off my property..." Negan threats

You push negan off to go check on jack you try to get jack to respond to you and see if he is okay but he just spits in your face shoving you away causing you to fall before you know it negan charges back over and starts beating the shit out of him all you can do is scream at them and cry. Through tear filled eyes you notice the cops rushing up the street pulling into the drive way the last thing you remember is the cops pulling negan off and everything went black.

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Jack and negan were both arrested but were soon let go apparently i had fainted due to stress and dehydration they kept me in the hospital until i was better. You kicked jack out of the house and you haven't spoke to negan since ellies birthday. Things have been rough being alone for ahwile and ellie was getting upset about not seeing her dad.

Text from negan:

Hey....im coming by

You looked at your phone to see a text from negan but you just ignored it and continued to cook some food for ellie. There was a knock at the door you sighed annoyingly before unlocking the deadbolt and opening the door to negans innocent brown eyes staring back at you. before you could give him a chance to speak you shut the door in his face but he quickly caught it in time with his foot in the doorway before it closed.

"Negan...ellie should be home. She is still upset" you sigh

"Thats okay i want to make it up to you two" he says pushing the door open coming inside

You just stand there silent with your arms crossed untill you hear ellies bus coming down the road and before you know it she busts through the door yelling.

"Mommmyyyy! Happy mothers dayzz!" Ellies runs up to you handing you a picture she made at school

"Awe...thank you sweet heart its gorgeous" you took the pink paper from her smiling and when to hang it on the fridge

"Look i want to take you two out to dinner...its mothers day and you deserve it..look i know i fucked up but that asshole had it coming" negan says

"Negan dont.....go ask Ellie she is the real one you need to be apologizing to not me" you stare at the ground avoiding eye contact.

"Ohh ellie daddy wants to talk to you!" He walks off to her room

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You, negan, and ellie were all out at dinner at your favorite steakhouse enjoying your meal when the waiter brought a bottle of wine

"Negan....i cant afford that" you quietly say

"Ah ah....you deserve it i mean you are the best mom ever" he winks at you popping the lid off pouring wine into your glass

"Thanks..." You shyly say before taking a sip

"So.....the school fired me" negan cleared his throat

You choked on your drink hearing the words that had just came out of negans mouth

"What?..how come" you say wipping wine off your chin

"Well....they dont want me as a coach anymore since what happened at ellies birthday. They say its wildly inappropriate and against policy to still have me there" he bites in his steak

"What are you going to do..." You ask worried

"Ohhh no biggie i always have things taken care of" he smiles at you

"If you need anything im here..." You look up at him

" i know....thank you" he reaches across the table holding your hand

The three of you finish up dinner afterwards you all go for a late walk through the park. It felt nice to get out and have some fresh air after what happended at the party. Your phone kept buzzing off the hook of texts from jack you kept trying to hide it from negan to not let him worry. You felt bad hiding it from negan but you knew it would start a fight but you also didnt want to let jack go without some talking. Negan took you and ellie back home ellie ran inside and got ready for bed.

"I know he is talking to you..." Negan says sternly while placing one hand against the wall beside your head

"Negan....can we not talk about this right now" you say turning your head away from him

"No!...you will look at me when im speaking to you" negan grabs ahold of your chin forcing you to look at him

"Yes....yes im still talking to him.." You say embarassed

"Why....he is such a load of whoreshit....im standing right infront of you (y/n)...im here now! Take me back please. Im an honest man now!" Negan growls

" get...off of me!" You scream and shove him away from you and begin to walk angrily down the road

"(Y/n) get back here now!...where the fuck do you think you are going!" Negan trys to catch up with you when it suddenly starts raining

"Negan stop trying so hard!...this is going nowhere!" You say crying

"Why do you keep saying that!...i want this to work!" Negan finally catches up to you grabbing you by the arm spinning you around

"......well i dont..." You choked on those words as they slipped out of your mouth it felt like your heart had just stopped for a split second it killed you to say that to negan but it had to be done

"You....dont want this." He said quietly and upset with rain drops running down his perfect face

"Negan....i.... I cant. You have to let me go" you say caressing his face" you said giving him a half smile with a single tear rolling down your cheek

"W....what about ellie.....thats my babygirl" Negan begans to tear up pulling you into a hug

"You can still be in ellies life.....i start therapy next tuesday" you say ending the hug

"You can talk to me (y/n)" negan sniffles

"There are just things that just feel easier letting out to a stranger sometimes..."

"I love you....." Negan says bresthlessly

"....i love you too but from a distance.....i have boundaries set now negan"

You and negan began to walk back to the house getting inside you hand him a towel to dry himself off. Negan follows you to the bedroom.

"There are still some of your clothes in the closet...." You say facing away from him

"You still have some of my old clothes here...." Negan opens the door seeing his shirts still hanging in the same spot before he moved out

"I didnt know if you still wanted them or not..." You say nervously

"Its okay. Thank you" negan takes off his soaking wet shirt switching it out with an old faded band shirt

"You can sleep on the couch if you would like..." You offer him

"You sure you are going to be okay with that?" He raises an eyebrow at you

"Yeah....plus its been lonely here just me and ellie" you chuckle handing him a blanket

Negan takes the blanket from you before turing around to open the bedroom door to leave. As soon as the door shut you quietly sobbed making sure it wasnt loud enough for negan to hear. You wiped your tears away before getting yourself ready for bed. You tossed and turned for most of the night your head filled with unnecessary thoughts and cenarios. You just wanted all of this pain to go away you dont know what you are doing with yourself anymore the only thing that keeps you holding on is ellie and negan.

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[voidselfshipp]

The Copper Wars

Chapter 5

Tw:smoking

Ok to rb

'Hey dad....I hope this letter finds you well.

I know I havent written in a while,im sorry I was very busy.

Im working with some folk now, kicking ass, the usual.

The town we lived in was raided by robots, Its some sci-fi bullshit I know...but these folks that im working with, they are battling against them.

I... Also seem to have feelings for six of them...I might need your advice on this....

I also sent you some trinkets and some photos of me,I hope Ill hear about you soon.

With love,your son.

Jerico'

Jerico finished writing his letter and put it inside the envelope that then went into a small box with some small treats,some photos and some dried flowers;he wrapped the box in some nice paper and made sure to tie it up so nothing would scape.

After delivering that to miss pauling, he went back to work on forge.

The big robot was almost done,the circuits,the mechanisms were all done,he needed to weld the last Copper metal sheets and he was done.

And thanks to engie, they did finish it by mid day.

The robot came to life with the whistle of the steam coming out of the big pipes,its belly shone with bright red glow,all seemed oķay,after some test,Like making it eat the scaffolding around it,and then,it grabbed the molten metal form ite opened panel in its exposed stomach/inner forgery shaping it into a big sword,they Turned it off and the night was bound to be celebrated.

However, as soon as the test finished, engie pulled jer to one side.

--We did it engie! In record time!

--Yes we did,and I say this is worth celebratin!--the texan smiled playfully, and pulled blacksmith in a sudden kiss,they had confessed after their obvious crush started to interfere with their work,so engie took the bravery to tell him,and got the most wonderfull answer, Jeri returned his feelings, so a good kiss was the best way to seal said confession.

At night They all went to the same town they went when jerico first arrived, and headed to a pub to celebrate, they were one step closer to defeating grey manns army.

Jeri had excused himself to go outside and catch a breather, unbeknownst to him, spy was outside too.

--Congratulations on finishing that proyect of yours jerico--Spy said letting out the smoke of his cigarrete.

--Thanks spy...I cant Belive we actually finished it so fast...im so proud of it

The frenchman had moved closer to him,and his free hand brushed his.

Jer looked at his companion and tilted his head,witha soft smile.

Spy tried to fight back a smile as his gaze met his crushes.

Stomping his cig, he sighed, and fixed his suit,anxious about his Next move.

Jerico took his hand, making him startle,but then look once again at him.

--I havent realized how cute you looked until now--Blacksmith said, squeezing hid hand Gently.

Spy felt at a loss for words as jers free hand went up to his cheeks.

--You havent been sleeping much have you?--the frenchman shooked his head.

--i never have a good night sleep

--Well...those dark circles under your eyes make you look even more handsome

--W what?

--I know what youre trying to do spy, if youre gonna kiss me, then just do it

--it seems like youve found me out ....--his companion said a bit ashamed.

--Youre not subtle at all , you known that right?

He hears him snort, and nodd--Appparently im not...

Jerico then hugged his neck and kissed him, the frenchmans arms hug his waist and push him to the wall.

They gasp softly for air,then pressing their foreheads togheter.

--You know what?i think we should get inside...--Jeri said.

--Lets just....lets just stay like this for a bit longer...oui?

--Hmm okay...

The rest of the night was then spent around town,buying some snacks or small trinkets.

Once jerico arrived at his room he collapsed on the bed, snoring softly,and into a peacefull sleep.

That wasnt much peacefull the Next day, he woke up to the sound of scout screeching while running for his dear life.

Apparently,Jeremy had touched heavys gun,Sasha, and well...poor thing had put his life on the line.

As he made his breakfast, he felt an arm wrap around his neck, he saw demo with a huge smile on his face--'ello lad! Good mornin!

Jeri smiled softly and looked at his face,trying to find all the details he could, he was very handsome.

--Are ye gonna kiss me or somethin'?--demoman meant this as a joke, until of course,jer did in fact kiss him quickly--Were do ye think yer going huh!?--the scottish Man grabbed him by his hand and kissed him again--Now thats a kiss!

Jeri couldnt help but giggle like a schoolgirl the rest of the morning.

In the afternoon, blacksmith decided to run some test, interrupted by some stolen kisses from engie ,wich made him giggle even more.

--jerico!--medic called out--could jou go and check on sniper?hes been in his nest all day,and he needs to eat with Us

Friday nights such as these was the only time the mercs would get along,and everyone was to eat togheter, but the food is almost done and sniper is no-where to be seen.

So, jerico nodded and Walked outside, and up the water tower, making sure to knock first, so

A, he wont get a bullet between his brows,and B,not scare the living daylights out of his aussie friend.

And talking about him.

He knew the rest were confessing to jerico,the only two that havent done it were medic and himself,and he was anxious about it.

He wasnt the best when feelings were involved so he did the only thing he knew,that was isolate himself.

--hey sniper foods almost ready

--Oh...ill be there in a bit--sniper lowered his rifle and scratched the back of his neck.

--Everything okay?...you seem off

--Its nothin ta worry about

Jeri sat besides him--Still whats up...?,do you want to talk?

His whole face started to heat up,and he looked away.

Jeris hand grabbed his chin softly, and made him look at him.

--Come on whats up?

Without any warning sniper saw his chance and kissed him.

--Thats whats happenin roo

Jer started to giggled and kissed him again,hugging his neck peppering his face with kisses.

The aussie started to laugh,softly--Alroight enoughs enough come on...foods almost ready...

--yeah lets go...im starving

After dinner,jeri went and opened up the package that was left for him.

There was a letter and some small gifts.

'Hey son' his fathers handwriting read'im glad youre okay.

I understand you had your hands full.

Im okay, ive traveled Back home and I plan to stay a while,I missed this.

Your aunts told me that they miss you, and they cant wait to see you.

Eryz,ozi and vel sent you some treats.

And about that love advice, its what I always say, trust your gut boy, look good, and be smooth, thats all.

I love you,stay safe.

~Ray'.

Jeri smiled, and looked at what was inside the box.

Some treats,and some photos of his dad and his aunts.

Jerico sighed with nostalgia and went to sleep, his cats curled besides him.

[ap-sadistics]

also life update i guess (i ended up rambling about irrelevant shit)

ive been less active in the past month or two (i finally kicked the habit of completely catching up on my dash.... took like over 6 years....) bc ive been so busy..... i dropped out of ucsd last last year! best decision i ever fucking made! university and academia had been so depression. in the meantime since my dropout ive been making my portfolio.... bc ive decided to go to art school. im hoping that i can actually be happy doing art for a living bc i sure was happy doing chem unfortunately... being smart has been my undoing bc im the least studious bitch alive. gonna do my in art school tho... i want to... i just submitted my application for one of them yesterday and im so exhausted.... i have no fucking social energy rn so ive been inactive in the newest fandom discord im in.... ill always have energy to spare for my close buddy tho......... sometimes i think this is the closest thing to pining ill get. i just love that one specific friend....... and probably maybe have enough energy for a few more close friendos as well but rn i just need to decompress........ ive been utterly insatiably eating prompto centric fanfiction bc lord does the ffxv fandom have an absolute abundance of fanfics..... particularly im spoiling off all the whump Ugh so much good shit im almost getting sick of it. almost. depends on the quality of it. anyways im rambling but im gonna continue rambling. man i have not seen the entirety of the game and likely never will bc i dont have time but i have consumed enough content for prompto bc hes fucking bestest boy. ugh i love fanfiction. shit made me so Invested in him..... speaking of fanfiction i have not once forgotten about my own aa fic.......... i want to continue it.... but ive been completely derailed and lost steam...... god i wanna write it tho.... i havent lost the intent just the drive.... mostly bc im distract by reading fanfiction and webnovels and bc of apps..... man im bad at saying personal shit regularly on tumblr ive said much of this stuff on twitter already bc its oddly easier just say bullshit in bursts on twitter. although about 90% of the tweet i make are about fanfiction. i dunno if anyone would actually want to follow my twitter i extremely doubt it. its all obscure fandom too. its nice tho.

what was the point of this post? huh. i got extremely derailed. i think i was intending to talk about just applying to art school but i ended up just talking about everything that came to mind in a shitty stream of consciousness. woops.

aaaaaaaaaaahhh fuck i really do hope i get into at least one of them.... im definitely not getting into calarts. that one is just a too high bar but i still applied tho. had to try..... yall wish me luck if you read all this......... im so bleh rn. also i got sick last week but im at the tailend of my cold now so that shouldnt really be pressing.... HHHHHHHHHHHHH I HOPE I GET IN.... HECK!

[thatfanficstuff]

Battle Scars - Chapter Six

Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader

Warnings: um...nope

Enjoy!!

***

You pulled your hand from Bruce’s and curled it back into a fist. “I’ve had that scar forever. Don’t even remember how I got it now.”

He arched his brows and gave you a look that said he didn’t believe a word you were saying. “You did not have that scar yesterday. Or even today when you handed Tony his coffee. Don’t bullshit me, Y/N. I’m more observant than most people give me credit for.” He slid off his glasses and tossed them onto a nearby table before crossing his arms over his chest. His gaze never wavered from you as he waited for you to speak.

Finally, you sighed and paced away from him. “I’m not trying to bullshit you, Bruce. I just wasn’t intending on telling anyone. Not for a while, at least.”

“So, you are Tony���s soulmate then?” He dropped his arms and took a step toward you. 

Suddenly unable to speak, you nodded.

“Okay. And you’ve known since?”

“After he was missing. He was doing a press conference and I saw him on the television. Our bruises matched.”

He raked a hand through his already messy hair and huffed out a breath. “And you haven’t told him?”

“What do you think, Bruce?”

“All right, all right.” He gestured toward one of the chairs at his small kitchen table. You sat and he took the one across from you. “Are you planning to tell him?”

You debated for a moment whether to even the continue the conversation before deciding it was too much of a relief to have someone to talk to for you to stop now. If things got back to Tony, you’d just have to deal with it then. “That was my intention when I came here. I tried to get through to him by phone and I couldn’t so I just showed up. They assumed I was here for a job interview and here we are.”

“I don’t suppose you mentioned you were his soulmate when you tried to call?” he asked.

“It’s not like anyone would have believed me if I had. Besides, that’s the kind of news you need to deliver yourself don’t you think?” You leaned back in your seat.

He ran his fingers across the surface of the table as he thought. “All of that aside, why haven’t you told him since then? You’ve had time. He’s been looking for you for a long time.”

Hearing that Tony had wanted to find you made your heart a little lighter. It also made you feel a little guilty. “He has a girlfriend, Bruce. I’m not going to be what breaks them up.”

“Who? Pepper?”

You nodded.

He grimaced. “She’s not really his girlfriend.”

You pursed your lips thinking over everything you had seen the last few weeks. “Are they dating?”

He tilted his head from side to side. “Well, I mean, technically—”

You held up a hand to cut him off. “Technically is enough of a relationship for me. I’ll tell him when the time is right. This isn’t it.”

“How do you know that it isn’t? I won’t tell him if you don’t want me to, but you should. And the sooner the better.”

“That’s enough. I’m not going to let him drop his entire life because of me. That’s not fair to him, Bruce.”

“You dropped yours to come here for him. Shouldn’t he get the same choice?”

***

It took a while before you were convinced that Bruce wouldn’t spill your secret. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to tell Tony. You would love nothing more than to be with him but you didn’t want him to pick you just because you were his soulmate. You wanted him to get to know you as a person first and a soulmate second. Things like that took time.

You were still deep in thought when you left Bruce’s room to head back to your floor.

“Everything sorted?”

The unexpected voice startled you and you found yourself staring at Tony with wide eyes. “Huh?” Well, that was eloquent, Y/N.

Tony straightened from where he’d been leaning in the doorway of the lab. You wondered briefly how long he’d been standing there. His gaze darted past you to Bruce’s door before settling back on you. “Did you get Bruce squared away?”

“Yeah,” you answered feeling moderately guilty for misleading him. “It’s all good.”

He stepped forward as his tongue darted out to moisten his lips. “What did he need anyway? You two were in there for a while.”

You lifted one brow. “We got busy talking. You know how it is.”

He hummed in what you assumed was agreement. “Well, I’ll let you get back to it.” With that he turned and went back into the lab.

You stood there for a moment trying to process the strange scene you’d just been part of until your phone rang. “Hello,” you answered without paying attention to who was calling.

“We need to talk,” came Fury’s deep voice and you instantly forgot about anything else. Why was the director of SHIELD calling you?

***

As soon as you were off the phone with the director, you spent the next two hours making calls, placing orders and issuing instructions. Once you were certain everything you needed done would be completed by morning, you called a meeting in the Avengers conference room.

As the team shuffled in, they fell quiet as they found you waiting for them. Tony and Bruce were the last two to file in. Tony scowled as his gaze fell on you. “I thought this was a team meeting. What are you doing here, hot stuff?”

You arched a brow at the nickname. “It is a team meeting, Tony. Fury thought I could handle this one.”

Steve’s brows shot up. “Would you mind repeating that?”

“Just sit down,” you instructed the science bros. “It’s not that kind of meeting.” You passed a thin folder to everyone at the table. “Fury is expanding the team.”

“Sam Wilson, the Maximoff twins, and James Barnes have all been approved on a probationary basis.” From the corner of your eye you saw Steve sit straighter in his chair as a grin curled his lips. “Sam will maintain his own residence. The twins will be on the floor below Nat and Clint and Bucky will be on your floor, Steve.”

Not everyone looked particularly thrilled with the news you were giving them. “The information in the folders includes what they are required to do to maintain their status on the team. Steve, Bucky requires daily therapy for the time being, would you prefer I bring someone in?”

“Yes, please,” he responded with no hesitation.

You shifted your attention to Tony who just frowned at the folder in front of him. “Tony.” You’d said his name softly but it was enough to get his attention. He looked up with wide eyes.

“Yeah?”

“The twins need therapy, too. Three times a week. And then there are the after mission sessions. Should I see about getting one on staff?”

Natasha huffed a laugh. “I’m surprised Fury didn’t offer to move one in.”

You smiled at that. “Oh, he did. I didn’t think any of you would care for a SHIELD shrink when we can hire our own. Then you don’t have to worry about them reporting back to anyone.”

“See. This is why I like her,” Clint piped up. “Always thinking.”

Tony’s lips twitched for a second before he gave in and smiled. “Hire us a shrink, sweetheart.”

***

With Jarvis’ help it didn’t take you long at all to find the perfect candidate and he was quickly hired. Anxious to share the news with Tony you were talking before he could even acknowledge your presence in the lab. You read off the man’s qualifications and talked about his references and then realized Tony wasn’t commenting on anything you said.

You looked up from you tablet to find him smiling as he looked between the device in his hand and you. It was easy to see that you amused him. Your face heated. “Sorry, I ramble when I get excited.”

“I look forward to exploring that trait of yours in more detail later, but why are you so excited about hiring a team therapist? Or should I not ask? Is he handsome? Are you impressed by the size of his PHD?”

You blinked as your brain tried to catch up with your soulmate’s teasing. He was certainly in a flirtatious mood. As you looked him over, you realized that he had stripped down to a white tank. And coming from beneath it was a bright blue glow. “Um, Tony?”

“Yeah, Y/N?”

You gestured vaguely in his direction. “You’re glowing.” You tore your gaze from his chest to meet his eyes.

His brow furrowed and he glanced down. “I’m surprised you haven’t noticed before. It keeps me alive. Keeps shrapnel from going into my heart.”

That made your chest hurt. What if he wasn’t a genius? Would he already be dead? You sat your tablet down on the table and stepped around until you stood next to Tony, his eyes following you. “Can I see?”

He tilted his head and studied you for a long moment and you wondered what he was thinking. Finally, he emptied his hands and turned on his stool so he was facing you. In one swift movement, he took his tank off and tossed it on the table beside him. “Look all you want, sweetheart.”

You closed the small distance remaining between the two of you, your eyes glued to the device in his chest. No wonder your scar had never faded. This thing had to be inserted inside of him. It was a permanent wound. You reached your hand out to touch it before you caught yourself. “Sorry,” you said, snatching your fingers back just before you actually made contact.

Tony’s warm hand wrapped around yours and he tugged you closer. Your heart raced and you sucked in a deep breath as he laid your hand against his chest. He kept his over the top of it. “It’s called an arc reactor,” he explained. “It not only keeps me breathing, it powers the suit.”

You glanced up at the sound of his voice and swallowed past the lump in your throat as you realized just how close you were to him. “Does it hurt?”

He shrugged. “Hurt like hell at the time. Now, not so much.” His thumb rubbed against the hand he was holding making a tremor shoot through you.

You reached your other hand up and traced one of the many scars that decorated his skin. He hissed in a breath. Your first instinct was to apologize but you resisted the urge and looked up to meet Tony’s gaze. His eyes studied your face as the corner of his mouth kicked up in a grin. “If you’re planning on checking out all my scars, it’s going to take a while. Not that I mind. I just think you should be prepared.”

The two of you leaned toward each other and your eyelids closed as you prepared for the kiss.

“Ms. Potts is requesting that you meet her in your apartment, Mr. Stark.” Jarvis’ voice cut through the silence in the room and you took a giant step away from Tony as you were reminded of his girlfriend.

Your face was warm and you suddenly found yourself unable to meet his gaze.

“Thank you, Jarvis. Impeccable timing,” Tony bit out.

“Of course, sir.”

You couldn’t keep yourself from glancing up. Tony gave you a smile as he put his shirt back on. His eyes stayed locked on yours as he gave instructions to the AI. “Tell Pepper I’ll meet her in her office.”

He stepped toward you, stopping when you took a step back to maintain the distance. He held up his hands and leaned against the table behind him so you knew he was giving you the space you needed right now. “Pepper is not my girlfriend.”

You bit your lip. “It’s not really my business.”

“I think it is.”

You glanced down briefly before looking back up. “Then does she know she’s not your girlfriend? Because I’m not so sure she does.”

His dark eyes studied you but he said nothing.

You cleared your throat and gestured toward the door. “I should go.”

He nodded once. “Just remember, sweetheart, we’re not even close to done here.”

Battle Scars: @i-dontwikeit @thevanishedillusion @amandamartinez3568 @clumsy-hailles @little-nonny @tonystarkismyboy @redfoxwritesstuff @lowkeyofsassguard @sherlocked-whovian-1969 @tori24rose @a--1--1--3 @youclickedthislink @beckastark @confusedhada @nuggeteater-dot-com @bluehuskey2099 @kit-kat-katie99 @sexysamsungl @staringmoony

All the Things: @swanky-batman @rissyrapp20 @startrekkingaroundasgard @spooookyscary @taylordrunkonwhiskey @thewolf-and-thesheep @laneygthememequeen @collette04 @shatteredabby 

[blookmallow]

so i met the prince of madness, discovered some Weird Shit, and made another character despite never using the second one i already made 

---

i was minding my own business walking down an abandoned corridor and suddenly im in this mad tea party in the middle of some spooky woods

OH !!! FUCK

what a LOOK

i had to help a guy dealing with his tiny, tiny personification of courage getting beat up by Self Doubt and Anger i could NOT make this up if i tried 

sheogorath also gave me these clothes apparently bc i had them for some reason. this is incredibly silly 

SO I WENT ON A MISSION WITH FARKAS AND UH

APPARENTLY MY FRIENDS HAVE BEEN WEREWOLVES ALL ALONG. THE MORE YOU FUCKIN KNOW

i legit did not see this coming at ALL but im a lil annoyed that i got tricked into joining the werewolves but seem to not be allowed to join vampires (i know if you get attacked by a vampire you have a chance of catching vampirism from them but like. vampires are mostly just Enemies like bandits or w/e) 

farkas says the. silver hand or whatever they’re called are “bad people who don’t like werewolves” but arent they doing the same thing the dawnguard are doing. i dont understand the werewolf/vampire lore in this at all like

vampires are mostly just enemies, there’s a league dedicated to hunting them who seem to be mostly considered heroes, the guards mention these hunters positively, they recruit openly in whiterun

vampires seem to be pretty universally hated and considered evil

but the companions, a pretty highly respected guild, are all werewolves (it’s probably not totally common knowledge, but they are, ) the werewolf hunters are depicted as the bad guys, every werewolf ive met so far has been a friendly npc / at least someone you can hold a conversation with, while every vampire has been just an Enemy

the companions seem to be able to control their werewolf powers and transform at will rather than randomly, but the guy in falkreath cant control it and murdered a child/is outcast by society 

so i guess “its ok to be a werewolf If you can control it” seems to be the verdict here but then i havent seen anyone claiming its ok to be a vampire if you can control it?? i dont know skyrim’s vampire rules but usually they’re able to survive on animal blood or by like, consensual feeding that doesnt take enough to kill the host. werewolves and vampires both can’t necessarily help what they are but it seems like way more of a choice to become a werewolf. i guess vampires Have to drink blood and werewolves dont Have to hurt people but they cant. help that 

idk theres some weird double standards going on here and as a person who loves vampires and doesnt care for werewolves im just :/ 

farkas might also be in love with me now 

(ive read you Can marry him but he hasnt noticed my amulet of mara despite. saying shit like That :’) im not rly interested in him tho. i like him but i dont Like him like him. hes maybe second on the list of ‘If I Had To Pick A Dude’) 

i found two of the same guy out in the wilderness

like. its hard to see here but it was, im pretty sure, the same model, twice. the same voice. the same lines. it was very strange :’) im guessing theres probably a pool of random hunters/travelers/bandits/whatever you can run into that just sort of get generated into the world and. something went wrong 

i dont remember what we were talking about but i suggested Why Not Simply Eat The Soul Gem and she was delighted by my innovative ideas. im on a quest to retrieve a spoon for her that she somehow lost halfway across the country. i love her

i just figured out who she reminds me of she is absolutely tannis,

then i also made another character despite the fact that i already never use my khajiit but shh

this is amaranth shes horrible and shes on a mission to Wreck Everyone’s Shit 

she has very faint swirl tattoos on her face and i wish id made them brighter, i liked the subtleness of it but you effectively just cant see it ever 

not that it Really matters so much what my characters look like since u cant see them 90% of the time but Listen

i can fix it when i get her to riften i guess though

anyways she wants to be a powerful mage, has No morals, wants to kill every last imperial for what they (almost) did to her, but doesnt really support the stormcloaks either, just supports Herself and Chaos 

shes not trying to just Murder Literally Everyone In Her Path but like. is basically looking for Any excuse to kill someone. doesnt want either side to win. just wants to watch the world burn. probably going to join and betray Both sides

i dont remember why i murdered a guard (i remember it was in belethor’s shop so i probably tried to steal something and failed) but anyway, i murdered a guard, and can just like. walk around town wearing the clothes i stole off his corpse and nobody minds 

they minded very much that i killed him lmao but i gave up trying to fight the guards bc more kept coming so i just took the jail time and now im forgiven, I Guess, 

seems like owning a full set of guard armor, which includes a helmet that obscures your face completely, would be a great way to disguise yourself to do crimes but i dont seem to be recognized as a guard wearing this/people still know who you are somehow 

im not sure how much awareness npcs have of what you’re wearing like i get comments about my stuff sometimes (’lightly armored means light on your feet! smart!’ ‘favor the bow, eh? im a sword man myself’) but then no one seems to care if im walking around wearing vampire armor and a weird cultist mask, so

[inawickedlittletown]

Walking The Wire (106/?)

Summary: Tony Stark always knew about Peter Parker. He didn’t know that Peter was going to get superpowers and become Spider-Man, but he always knew about Peter because Peter was his son.

This will span from pre-Iron Man up through the rest of the MCU (eventually including Infinity War) and will be for the most part canon compliant except where I’ve taken some liberties and interpreted canon a certain way.

Pairings: Pepper/Tony, Tony/Steve (endgame), Tony/Mary (past)

A/N: If you want me to tag you when I post new chapters let me know. This fic is also on AO3

I used Collider’s MCU timeline to stay canon and the title of this fic is an Imagine Dragons song that is just so fitting for Peter and Tony

@findmeinthestarss

Masterpost

Chapter One Hundred Five

It turned out that having Michelle know he was Spider-Man and acknowledging that she did was a good thing. Michelle was just all that much better about covering for Peter. Just the other day when they’d gone on a small class trip and Peter had spotted a mugging happening, it was Michelle that had distracted everyone long enough for Peter to get away unnoticed and then again when he rejoined them.

The only thing about Michelle was that unlike Ned, she actually seemed concerned about what Peter got up to. She worried. It was weird especially when she pretended that she didn’t in person and then sent him long rambling texts about how he wasn’t being careful and how close he came to getting injured or hurting others.

It was all on par with how much coverage Spider-Man had started to get from the media which Peter didn’t particularly like. At first it had seemed cool to be mentioned on the news all the time and to have articles about Spider-Man popping up everywhere. His favorite were the YouTube videos since those were usually fun to watch mostly because they weren’t all made by anyone truly professional. But after a while, even those got old. It got annoying. Tony definitely disliked it.

“I just don’t like how interested everyone seems to be in finding out your identity,” his dad said while they were tinkering in the workshop. “It’s none of their business.”

Peter liked listening to him rant. It was kind of hilarious especially when one considered Tony’s own media presence basically his entirely life.

“And it’s not like we’ve announced that you’re an Avenger or anything but some reason they just seem to associate you with us.”

That’s when Steve spoke up. “That’s because they see you out and about with him all the time as Iron Man and Iron Man is an Avenger.”

“That isn’t the point,” Tony said.

“And also, Peter’s the only hero that’s popped up that has a hidden identity. Gives everyone a mystery to want to solve.”

Tony muttered some more and Peter tried not to laugh. He could tell that Steve was amused too.

Since all that stuff with The Vulture, Tony still did tend to show up when Peter needed help. He was better about letting Peter be involved in things especially when they didn’t involve alien tech. They had stopped some weird guy with what seemed to be some sort of power -- Tony said he was probably an inhuman -- just the other day from destroying a big portion of Greenwich Village. The guy hadn’t been doing it on purpose it turned out it. It was just that his powers were so unstable. Peter had been glad to have Tony there because he didn’t a single person could have handled everything that instance entailed. Even Vision had made an appearance for that. In the end they had subdued the guy and Tony had handed him over to a the new Shield.

“But also, it’s not just the identity thing,” Tony kept on, “it’s that there’s varying degrees of coverage. He’s good for the city. He’s a vigilante. He’s an Avenger. He’s not. It’s ridiculous. At least no one seems to have put together that I built your suit. Or at least no one’s written an article about it yet. And can you imagine if anyone found out I had a son? Because then they would definitely start questioning whether you were the one under the mask and then my parenting would come into question.”

It was no surprise to Peter that Ned loved it. He had a whole collection on articles written about him and he would send Peter the more outrageous ones and Peter would pass those on to Steve because Steve loved reading them too. May seemed to agree with Tony on the whole matter. But then, May also tended to try and get Peter to quit being Spider-Man altogether whenever she saw him and it wasn’t something that was ever likely to stop. She liked to bring up questions about school and girlfriends and college and how Spider-Man wouldn’t be an ideal addition to any of those as her way of asking him to stop.

As he stepped out of Midtown one afternoon, Peter was surprised when he spotted Tony complete with a baseball cap, sunglasses, a grin, and a thermal cup that probably contained coffee, leaning against a sleek black car that at least proved to be his least flashy. Still, no matter how hard he was trying, he looked out of place and people were noticing him.

Michelle who had walked out with him spotted Tony with no problem and when Peter glanced at her he could practically see her thinking. Her left eyebrow rose and she stared him down.

“Is Tony Stark actually picking you up right now?”

Peter shook his head. “Nope. It’s all in your imagination. You’re hallucinating.”

Michelle laughed -- cackled more like and Peter grinned back at her as she nudged him and rolled her eyes. Ned appeared then, busy with his backpack as he walked, and only managing to not run into anyone because anyone in his path dodged him.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“Your boy here is being picked up by Tony Stark. Fancy that. I bet Flash will be jealous.”

“Which is why I’m going to go before anyone else notices,” Peter said and rushed away. When he looked back Michelle waved and Ned grinned at him and gave him thumbs up.

“Hey,” Peter said when he was close enough.

“Hi, kiddo,” his dad said, “I was in the area so I figured I’d come by and get you. I was also sort of craving this apple crostini this one restaurant has so we’re going to have to make a stop for that. Up for it?”

Peter rolled his eyes but nodded. “Sure.”

They got into the car and when Peter looked out the window he realized that a few people were watching them. Someone must have caught onto Tony being there. Not that it really mattered since everyone knew that Peter had a Stark Internship. Of course, no intern could have ever expected for Tony Stark himself to show up to pick them up from school. He was definitely going to hear about it.

The restaurant Tony took them to was a hole in the wall that no one would have ever noticed and yet it was busy. A well known secret. Nevertheless, they were seated at a discrete table towards the back without much wait which told Peter that Tony had called ahead.

“Why are we really here?” Peter asked.

“I told you -- apple crostini. Also, remind me to order one to go because Steve would kill us if we don’t bring him one back. We used to come here sometimes back in the day.”

“Oh,” Peter said.

His dad never really talked about how he and Steve had come to be and Peter didn’t really have any questions or want to know details, but he loved when Tony slipped in something that hinted at a past memory. It made him realize how normal it all was in some ways. Sometimes, it was still shocking to think about Iron Man and Captain America in a romantic relationship or to consider that they were getting married until he thought about them as Tony and Steve -- his dad and his dad’s fiance.

“Truth is, I wanted to catch up with you,” Tony said. “Things have been a bit crazy lately. Haven’t really spent much time with you on our own. Steve or someone else is usually around.”

Peter hadn’t -- no, he’d noticed, it was just that he hadn’t minded. He’d never expected to have Tony to himself all the time and had felt lucky when he did even if then it had been broken up to a few hours here and there and now he was living in the tower and had access to Tony all the time and it didn’t really matter that there were other people around.   

“We can start with, who was the girl?”

Peter rolled his eyes. “Who, Michelle? I’ve told you about her. She’s the one that figured out I’m Spider-Man all on her own.”

“MJ. You said someone named MJ did.”

“Michelle Jones. She likes to be called MJ. Anyway, that was her.”

Tony nodded. The waitress approached then and Tony ordered the apple crostinis and remembered to order the one to go as well without Peter needing to remind him.

“So she’s super smart and observant,” Tony said.

“Yup. Definitely knew it was you waiting for me. Actually, I think a few people figured it out.”

Tony shrugged with a grin. “And they can all wonder about what your internship entails once more.”

Tony started asking about how things were going in school next and Peter filled him in even though he was sure he’d mentioned some of it to him in passing over the last few weeks.

The apple crostini turned out to be amazing. He was in the middle of telling Tony about what they’d started working on in physics when it arrived and after one bite of the crunchy and flaky crust with the warm apple filling and the ice cream and Peter was in heaven.

“I told you so,” Tony said.

“This is the best thing ever,” Peter said.

It was nice to have some time on his own with Tony. Tony told him all about how the board members were driving him and Pepper crazy because they didn’t like that Tony’s concern wasn’t all about profit when it came to the prosthetic division even when it came to custom projects.

“It’s like they don’t understand how good the PR is although that obviously isn’t why we’re doing it.”

“But it’s your company,” Peter said.

“Pepper and I own more than half of the shares of the company, sure, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have to deal with the board of directors. It’s the side of business that I don’t particularly like. Pepper is awesome at it. It’s all stuff you’ll have to learn about if you want to take over the company one day--”

“Um, what?” Peter said and almost choked on a piece of apple.

Tony chuckled. “Won’t be for a while and it’s up to you if you want it. It’s not an obligation, you know. You could find your own Pepper Potts and have someone else run it if you prefer. I rather you do what you want than what you think I want you to do so--”

Peter had sort of forgotten about how Tony had broken the news to him what felt like ages ago even though it hadn’t even been a full year yet. He’d forgotten how Tony told him that he would inherit everything as if that had been the right way to let him know that Tony was his father. Since then, Peter hadn’t really thought about it or the reality of what it actually meant which meant that it was overwhelming information to take in.

“I -- that’s--”

“What, did you forget that I’m Tony Stark? You’re my heir, kid, to this whole crazy company and whatever else I’ve accumulated.”

“But what if -- what if you and Steve have kids?” Peter asked.

It wasn’t something he’d considered before that moment, but wasn’t that what people did after they got married? They went and had kids. Peter was aware that Tony and Steve were both men but there were ways around that -- surrogacy or adoption or other weirder things. It was possible. Peter didn’t know if -- well, he didn’t know if he’d be thrilled about it if they did have kids. He felt weird even just thinking about it.

“Not really something we’ve discussed,” Tony said and he seemed to notice that Peter seemed uncomfortable. “And even if we did decide to have kids it wouldn’t be for a long while, Pete.”

“Oh,” Peter said. But they could still have some even if Peter was fully grown when they did--

Tony grabbed his hand. Tony’s hand was warm and familiar and Peter allowed himself to calm down. “Peter, you’re my kid. I -- I love you, kid. Not something that will ever change. I’ll always be here for you no matter what. Even if Steve and I adopt a hundred kids. You’re still always going to be my son and you’re the most important person in my life.”

Peter hadn’t expected Tony to say that. Those three words. Tony had said them before, he was sure, but Peter couldn’t actually remember. He certainly hadn’t expected them in the moment.

“I don’t think even Steve will want to adopt that many kids,” Peter said.

“If he even wants to,” Tony said with a shrug. “I’m not saying I wouldn’t be opposed to another kid -- it’s just I’d be fine with just you.”

“Oh,” Peter said. “But you didn’t get to raise me. Not really. Don’t you want that -- the whole baby thing?” Peter didn’t really understand why people were so keen on babies. He knew they were cute but they also cried and made messes and couldn’t really do anything and he actually -- he couldn’t see Tony or even Steve dealing with a baby well.

“That doesn’t matter. Clearly, it doesn’t. You’re still my kid, Peter, and as has been established you clearly need me a lot too no matter what your age is.”

Peter nodded. “I kind of do,” Peter said and then because he couldn’t say anything else, “I, um, I love you too, dad.”

He thought that Tony’s eyes got a bit misty at that and Peter realized that he’d never actually said it out loud before. But it was true. It had been true for a while. Peter loved Tony. He loved his dad and everything that he was and did for Peter. He was one of the best people he knew and Peter would forever be glad that he knew who his father was and that it was someone as amazing as Tony Stark.

Chapter One Hundred Seven

[sweetcatmintea]

Atlas meets Ivan - Drabble

So, I haven’t got any new pictures for you guys, have a short drabble instead. It was a gift for @babydollneko but she said I could upload it here too :)

Moonlight filtered through the thin clouds overhead illuminating speckles drifting through the late-night air. Hard shingles stole the warmth through Atlas’ shirt, prompting shivers. He lazily took note of his leg dangling over the musty gutter pipe. A clean was long over due but the negligence was understandable, it was no simple task to clean the top of a three-story house. Hoisting himself into a sitting position, Atlas stretched his arms in front of him until there was a satisfying crack.

He wasn’t sure how long his nap had lasted but he felt refreshed enough. It was late afternoon when the summer heat left him lazing about, but that didn’t mean much to him. He had also been sprawled on Lady Clara’s ornate lounge, enjoying the firmness of the well-maintained upholstery and the gentle breeze tussling his bangs.  To find himself waking on the roof of an unknown building in an unknown street was not how he expected the day to go. Surprising as it was, there was little mystery. Many an adventure in his youth was prompted by accidentally teleporting somewhere in his sleep. It was kind of like sleep walking, but with more stress for Lady Clara. He glanced at his wrist only to remember he had taken off his stylish purple gloves and accompanying compass cuff earlier in the day. This was going to make things more difficult. Oh well, no use sitting around worrying. Scaling down the building with relative ease, he decided to just explore for a little while. It’d be a shame to waste the opportunity. Lady Clara was forever scolding him for roaming around like some tom cat. ‘Come home straight away!’ she’d say. ‘You’re never where you’re supposed to be! Disappearing to who knows where whenever the fancy takes you! Honestly, it’s a wonder I haven’t locked the doors by now!’ Translated roughly, she meant ‘I worry when you disappear, so I want you to come straight back.’ Atlas grinned into his knuckles. She was a funny lady, but certainly good quality. He was an adult now – more or less – and she had relaxed some. It helped that he wasn’t under her constant care and supervision anymore. Still, he’d just have a little look around, then head back. Or, at least, a little look, then try to work out where he would be coming back from. His current location was less important than where he wanted to be, but knowing it would probably help.  Music pulsed faintly in the distance, a faint throb indicative of a nightclub type place. Given the back-alley vibes he was getting and the apparent late hour, the club would probably be inhabited primarily by drunks. Atlas sighed. He didn’t want to go amongst drunk people. It was probably the best bet for finding someone to ask his location. Ambling away, he put his money on the opposite direction. Going for the easiest route? Where was the adventure in that?

He must have been a fair way away from Lady Clara’s house. The wind carried a bite more tenacious than that of a summer. Atlas lamented the absence of his favourite dark grey coat. The fur trim, purple of course, was luxuriously soft and oh so fluffy. He really couldn’t complain though, years of waking up in unusual places ensured he was always reasonably covered when he rested. As funny as it would have been, he would not have appreciated exploring in only his boxers.

It wasn’t until the music had faded entirely, replaced with a cricket orchestra more suited to the country than such a populated area, that Atlas finally saw another person. A man, not much older than himself, busied himself opening the large roller doors of a … warehouse, maybe? The mechanisms made such a racket he didn’t notice Atlas approaching him. It was at this point Atlas realised he probably should have tried reading one of the street signs, he had no idea what the common language was here. Hoping it was one he knew, he cleared his throat, immediately catching the other man’s attention. Fabric spun and metal flashed. The knife stopping a mere finger’s width from Atlas’ skin. The two men appraised one another momentarily. This man, decidedly less harmless then Atlas first assumed, was slightly taller than him. His dark hair spiked from his head in organised chaos, complimented by a dark hoody and calculated grin. His teeth were clearly sharp, more so than Atlas’ unusually animalistic ones. Offering a placating smile, Atlas raised his palms to the man. He meant no harm. The switchblade returned to it’s hiding place in one smooth movement but remained at hand. The man’s posture relaxed, replaced with an easy confidence. Most reasonable people would be put off, intimidated even, by a man exuding danger and standing in front of a gaping maw of black. Unfortunately, Atlas was not a terribly reasonable person at times. ‘Foolish’ was almost a nickname at this point. He wasn’t stupid, but, out in the open as they were, he had many escape routes should things go sour. He lowered his hands, resting one in the pocket of his tailored shorts, and waving a greeting with the other. “What are you doing out here?” Ah, English. He knew that one. Lucky~ “Hello,” More accent than he would like, but good enough, “I got a little lost. Would you mind helping me? My name is Atlas, Atlas Mao.” The man tilted his head, lips pursed. “You’ve got cat ears.” It was a question in the form of a statement. “Yep.” He wiggled his ears for emphasis. The man’s grin grew. “Tail too. It was a matching set situation.” Even though he had kept it politely low, he was pretty sure the man had already noticed. The man’s hazel (maybe? It was hard to tell in the dark) eye’s glittered with excitement. “You don’t have … cat people here?” A shake of a head said no. That was unusual, he’d never been to a place where there were no Tainted people. Maybe he was even further than he thought. “Can I touch them?” “P-pardon?” “Your ears. I want to touch them.” The man reached out eagerly. There was a child-like enthusiasm that dampened the automatic ‘no’. Sighing inwardly, Atlas relented and nodded. That’s how he ended up being pet softly in the middle of the night by a very strange man. The plan to wait until his novelty had run its course and then find out where he was, was a bust. The enjoyment the man got appeared to be endless. Being told he was adorable was something he had gotten used to, it becomes necessary when your face becomes a brand, however having someone coo at him in the middle of the night was a bit much. An embarrassed flush crept up his neck as he put some distance between himself and the man. Luckily, he didn’t seem too disappointed, instead pointing out another of Atlas’ peculiarities. “You’re floating.” “Yeah. I don’t want to walk. The floor is really dirty, and my shoes are at home.” He wasn’t that high. Maybe a few inches off the ground. The man narrowed his eyes, considering Atlas again. “You’re not from here, are you?” Finally. He didn’t mind this man, he didn’t know him well enough to decide that he liked him yet, but it felt like some kind of backwards Alice in Wonderland scenario. Given he was the floating cat and all. He really couldn’t stay much longer, he’d promised Lady Clara he’d be in her photoshoot tomorrow. “No. I’m lost. Do you have a map and a compass I could borrow, uh…” “Ivan. You can call me Ivan.” He leaned in closer “I mean it call me.” Atlas didn’t know how to respond to either the wink or the playful nudge. “I’ve got those back home, but I gotta do something first.” He entered the abys of the warehouse, calling over his shoulder. “My cat got out, so I’ve gotta find him before we go back.” Nothing else to do, Atlas followed him in, offering to help search.

The deceptively small light on Ivan’s phone lit up a large chunk of the building. How did the phone have a light in it to begin with? Atlas knew there were some technological leaps lately, but wow! Debris was scattered all over the place. Leaves piled wherever the broken roof permitted. A dry, dusty smell filled the air, clinging to the backs of their throats. With all of the shadows and hidey holes, the chances of finding a cat were slim. Even with his sensitive ears, Atlas couldn’t detect anything other than the scuttling of bugs avoiding Ivan’s light. He strained his eyes but there was neither hide nor hair of any mammal. He was about to tell Ivan that he might want to look else where, but the man cut him off, bellowing “KING CRUNCH!” Evidently, Atlas wasn’t the only one to jump out of their skin. The boxes in the far corner began to rustle in response. Ivan ran over, letting out a proclamation of triumph. “I found my cat!” He dragged an angry, hissing creature from it’s nest, returning to Atlas with a massive smile. Beady eyes glared venomous hatred at Atlas. Little round ears were slicked back and grabby hands scrambled in the air, desperate for a victim. The grey-brown fur bristled like needles. That wasn’t a cat. The raccoon seemed to accept its fate, slumping in Ivan’s arms and chattering murder under its breath. Ivan was positively beaming. “Alright, I got my cat, we can go back. Somehow, he always get’s out when the Bae’s there. It’s weird, I know he likes King Crunch. Who wouldn’t?” Atlas couldn’t help but find Ivan’s clear affection towards his ‘cat’ very sweet. “Why’s he in a jacket?” The fact that the studded leather suited the raccoon was as undeniable as the ridiculousness of addressing raccoon fashion. What an interesting night it was turning out to be. “Oh, that. I tried to put a collar on him, so no one steals him, y’know, but he just kept getting it off. Neal got the jacket made for him so I would” he air quoted “stop moaning about the stupid collar. Good thing King Crunch is so fat, he can’t get his jacket off. No one’s going to mistake him for a stray cat now. I’d have ta kill them if they did though.” He laughed jovially.  

If you’re curious -> Atlas Ivan 

Ivan was created by, and belongs to, @babydollneko

Atlas is my character

Feedback is appreciated!

[melonmork]

college jungwoo pt 1

alright my honeys are u ready??💕🌷🌸

~okay i dont feel like i know jungwoo as well as the other members since i havent known him as long but im gonna do my best!!

~jungwoo is in his sophomore year studying to be a veterinarian so hes always very busy since he's taking science-intensive classes

~he loves biology. it's easily his best class; he makes As on nearly every assignment and he focuses super hard during labs, but this also means he's almost always either in the campus library or cafe studying or writing lab reports

~his junior friend doyoung always has to drag him away from studying or writing because jungwoo will forget to eat, he'll only drink lattes or hot chocolate for an entire day

~jungwoo resists doyoung but he's always thankful once they're eating together and jungwoo has the chance to see his friends and relax. he's a workaholic, but he enjoys his friends' company immensely when they manage to drag him away from his textbooks

~you're also a sophomore! u know jungwoo because you had bio lab with him in freshman year and he was often your lab partner

~you honestly felt bad when he voluntarily partnered with you because you felt like you werent as good at bio as him. whenever he approached you first about partnering up, you felt like he did it out of pity. after all, he's a sweet boy and he even helped you on your calc homework after labs even though he wasnt in calc

~but you loved being partnered up with him :^) jungwoo would subtly take charge of the lab because he got super excited about being hands-on with the scientific material he was learning about

~he would quietly and patiently help you set up equipment, reaching beakers from high shelves for you without teasing you, lighting burners for you bc those things are scary as heck (jungwoo: is it okay if i do that? i dont want you to get hurt :-o)

~one time he even put your apron on for you and tied the strings behind you (after asking your permission, of course) and you could have sworn you saw a cute dusting of pink on his cheeks as he asked

~u have not forgotten anything about that moment,,,

~also, being his lab partner meant you got to see his cute smile up close!!! actually all year during labs you would glance his way constantly, admiring the soft features of his profile and the way his eyebrows would furrow and he'd purse his lips when he was super concentrated on a task

~sometimes, every now and again, he'd catch you watching him and the two of you would blush and look away and pretend like it never happened

~through the year you two became closer and you exchanged numbers and would send each other notes and ask about each other's lab reports

~eventually the texting ventured away from school and once he even invited you to get smoothies with him at the end of second semester

~but over the summer, you two fell out of touch :~( and this year you didnt have any classes together

~honestly, you missed him a lot. you have chem lab this year and your regular chem partner is sweet and helpful but not as,,, well,,, enchanting as jungwoo was, so you admittedly dont enjoy lab as much as last year

~in fact, u dont even really see him until one night when you're in the library printing out a two page essay you wrote (last minute) for literature

~you're waiting by the printer, wearing sweats, a hoodie, and teddy bear slippers, literally nodding off as you wait for this old printer to crank out those pages

~after a few seconds it starts humming loudly and you perk up, ready to snatch those pages and trudge back to your dorm so you can go the heck to sleep

~the printer spits out two pages and you go to grab them but ,...more pages keep coming out... and more and more and more and you're standing there in front of the printer like ????? what is going on????

~you dont see anyone else in the library and most of the computers are visible from where you're standing so you're thoroughly confused

~you wait for a bit longer as the printer finishes up and for a second you hesitate to grab papers that obviously arent yours but... maybe yours are in there? so you grab the stack and look at the name

~your heart skips a beat when you read the name on the paper.... "jungwoo?" you read aloud

~and you jump in surprise when you hear a small "hi" from behind you

~feeling your cheeks heat up, you sheepishly turn to face him, embarrassed to be seeing The Kim Jungwoo, the sweetheart angel boy who you havent seen in so long, while wearing sweats and a hoodie and slippers

~but it's okay cause sweetheart angel boy is also wearing sweats, a hoodie, and slippers..... and wow does jungwoo look exhausted :~( your embarrassment wanes as you get a good look at his softly smiling face

~he has exaggerated dark circles under his eyes and his skin isnt as clear as you remember it being last year, his hair looks like he's been running his hands through it all day, and his smile is a little bit less bright than it used to be

~but he still looks ethereal... his hoodie framing his wide shoulders so cutely, strands of his soft black hair falling haphazardly over his forehead and his pretty mouth forming that warm smile of his, framing his cute teeth and Oh My God your little crush on him has not gone away at all

~"jungwoo... how,, have you been?" you manage, heat rising to your cheeks again

~"ive been alright... sort of overwhelmed this semester!" he laughs softly and glances down at his feet, then looks back up at you, "but im okay. how are you?" he looks you in the eyes and smiles again and your stomach does a lil flip

~"im pretty good! i dont like my lab partner this year near as much as last year, though"

~it's quiet for a moment after u say that and u realize what u just said and u feel ur face burning up now because whY thE Heck did u just blurt that out oh no hes gonna be creeped out oh no

~but his smile widens and his entire face softens and he lets out a genuine little laugh

~"yeah, me neither. i... miss you" he says, hesitating a little and looking down at his feet again

~your heart warms up and ur stomach does that lil flip again and you smile and for a few seconds it's quiet and you finally say "me too." and then it's quiet again

~then u remember that you're still holding jungwoo's enormous stack of papers in your hands so you shuffle over to him and hand them over and he takes them, apologizing for making you hold them for so long and you laugh and tell him he didnt make you carry them

~and u stand in front of each other for another few seconds, awkwardly wondering whether to continue talking or to move along

~finally, jungwoo says he has to get going and that it was nice to see you and he flashes you a tired smile before making his way out of the library, laden with a huge bookbag and a textbook in his arms as well as all of his papers

~you watch him go, feeling a little bit sad that nothing more became of ur lil run in with jungwoo

~u print our ur essay and make ur way back to ur dorm, ur heart and eyelids both feeling a bit heavier than when you went to the library, despite having seen sweetheart angel boy again after so long

~the next morning you get breakfast with ur roommate and the head to literature and turn in your essay, trying not to think about jungwoo cause u dont want to fall back into that crush especially since u wont be seeing him again,,,

~u do a pretty good job of circumventing any lingering thoughts of (sweetheart angel boy) jungwoo from the night before

~that is, until 11:48 AM

~when you get a text

from: jungwoo 🐻

good morning!! I'm sorry I wasn't able to talk longer last night. are you busy sometime after 5 today? I'd love to catch up 😊

~u, in the cafeteria, mouth hanging open: Yes

~n then you realize that u probably should send that as a text ,,, so you quickly respond yes!!! i would love to!!! im free at 6

~and u put ur phone down and start eating but like ,, a minute later ur phone vibrates again

from: jungwoo 🐻

Yay!!! 😆 Let's get smoothies again! 🥤see you there at 6!

~u send him a confirmation text and then finish ur lunch while ur heart soars because wOw he actually does want to see you!!! wow!!! and this time u wont be wearing slippers!!!

~and u cant deny that u also get excited about the idea that jungwoo will also not be wearing pajamas or slippers ,,, u always liked jungwoo's style,,

~all day after that all u can think about is jungwoo's soft voice last night when he told you he misses you... it was so forward of him and it makes ur heart skip a beat even just thinking back on it... is he always so forward? you wonder

~around 5:50 you start walking to the smoothie place, feeling nervous but much less silly without ur teddy bear slippers

~jungwoo's exact thought at 5:50 while hes sitting at a table in the smoothie place waiting for u: their teddy bear slippers were so cute 😣

~once u arrive he gets up to greet u and u guys awkwardly say hi and stand in front of each other and then get in line to order smoothies

~u two are a little bit clumsy with your conversation at first, speaking at the same time and then laughing and telling the other to go first

~but eventually, once u two are sitting across from each other at a little table and sipping on ur smoothies, u have a steady conversation about school and sophomore year and your friends and new roommates

~the conversation dies down again after a while and u two sip on ur smoothies and u wonder what u could say to continue talking to jungwoo because you're having such a nice time and ur heart is so happy to hear his soft voice again... u hadnt realized how much u missed it until this evening

~but before you can think of anything to say, jungwoo rests his chin in his palms, his elbows propped up on the table and he looks at you, making eye contact and doing that soft smile of his

~u have to take a second to remember how to breathe

~after a moment of gazing at u he sighs

~"im so happy to see you again, i really have missed you" and he smiles, his cheeks getting a bit pink but otherwise not rlly seeming to be embarrassed or shy by what he said and youre a flustered mess !!!!

~u manage to not stutter when u say "me too, jungwoo" and he giggles at your shy expression that you're trying so hard to hide (hes dying inside because youre so freaking cute !!!)

~after u finish ur smoothies, he walks with you back to campus and as you guys are on your way back, you're stopped by doyoung who comes up to you guys with his mouth open wide and his eyebrows raised

~"jungwoo... i just went to the library to look for you and you weren't there so i went to the cafe and you weren't there either and it didnt even occur to me that you werent actually studying... are you... are you two-"

~jungwoo cuts him off with a little shake of his head and explains that u guys were lab partners and friends last year and were just catching up and hes on his way to the library now

~you're kinda confused by the whole exchange bc from what doyoung said, it seems like jungwoo is pretty much always studying and it's odd for him to have gone out and done something other than study in the evening

~and while that thought makes u feel bad for him, u also feel pleased that he chose to spend time with you instead of studying :'~)

~doyoung leaves after a few minutes of him n jungwoo laughing abt something that their friend taeil did earlier that day

~doyoung and jungwoo hug and hold each other's hands until their fingertips are touching, then let their hands fall to their sides again as they say goodnight to each other and you're watching and smiling fondly cause jungwoo is so loving to his friend and it makes your heart swell

~jungwoo turns to u and smiles sheepishly, letting out a little laugh and apologizing for making you wait on him

~you shake your head and tell him you're happy to have met his friend!!

~and his eyes light up and his face brightens into a beaming smile and he tells you that he's so happy that you met doyoung, too

~he walks you back to your dorm building and u two say goodbye and u start to go up the steps when jungwoo calls for you again

~you turn around to see him at the bottom of the steps, smiling up at u and looking a little bit shy but So Handsome (ur heart? mush)

~u walk back down the steps to see him and you're standing on the step in front of him so you're pretty much the same height now and his face is kinda close to urs and both of u have an entire butterfly garden break dancing to dubstep in ur tummies tbh

~"yes?" you ask him, smiling and trying to hide ur nervousness because of the proximity

~"i just wanted to say that i had a lovely time tonight and i want to see you again soon"

~omg sweetheart angel boy makes your heart do acrobatics with his soft sunrise voice and his pretty dark brown eyes looking into your own and the cute shape of his cheeks as he smiles at you

~"let's get dinner this friday?" he continues, his eyes widening a little bit in a hopeful way, his smile widening too

~and you cant help but smile so big, u have to look down at your feet for a second just to regain any semblance of composure u might have had before

~after a second you look up and nod and hold your pinkie out to him

~"pinkie promise" you tell him, and he smiles Even Wider and links his pinkie with yours and touches his thumb to your own and you two stand there like that for a little bit longer than necessary

~finally u both let go and say goodbye for real this time and u walk up the steps to your dorm but u feel like you're floating cause woW sweetheart angel boy kim jungwoo is going to take you out for dinner in three days... friday is in three days...

~both u and jungwoo spend the entire three days in anticipation and almost middle-school-like-giddness because !!!! this is kind of a date right???? like neither of u said it but it's kind of a date????

~doyoung certainly says so and he's been telling all of his and jungwoo's mutual friends

~doyoung: yukhei, guess what? jungwoo has a cute date this friday

~yukhei, in the library, at a table with jungwoo and doyoung: ooooHOhOhoHHOHOHO jungwoo has a DATE!!! get it!!!!!!!!!

~jungwoo, probably: im leaving

~when thursday night rolls around, you're sitting on your bed, typing something up on your laptop and probably watching youtube tbh and your phone dings :^)

from: jungwoo 🐻

I'm excited to see you tomorrow. I'll meet you at the bottom of your stairs at 7 tomorrow night, is that okay?

~you probably forget to respond for like 15 minutes cause u take a screenshot of the text and send it to ur best friend and yell about how nervous and excited you are and when u finally respond, you tell him you're looking forward to it! and you ask him what you should wear

~a few minutes later, you get a response...

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 8 | ”Being a muppet is a contagious disease. ” - Ali

omg so?! i need to do a proper long confessional and go through my thoughts because i just got like a tsunami of information but... jake lived?! and idoled out scott who i thought was gonna win?! hello?!? i'm so so so excited because now i get to work with jake and he is SUCH a shield, and me/him/autumn are gonna ride off into the sunset im manifesting it.

what the HELL is going on here first jake pulls out an idol (which i was JUST gossipping with jordan pines about him having it because i know just how he plays and would ya look at that!) i was so ELATED to read he did that, thinking ok, i gave him a fair warning those false beauties we're gonna get us all, and they voted him unanimously so surely he'll take one of them out and ... HE TAKES OUT SCOTT?? i dont even have time to process this bafoonery yet because here i am, minding my business, trying to watch micronesia to heal the hole in my heart left by w*nners at w*r, eating a piece of pizza and then BOOM we merge?? but oh ok! they said we get a nice little break, lemme not stress and go back to eating my piz- NOPE THERE IS SO SUCH THING AS A BREAK IN SURVIVOR GORL I SWEAR I PUT MY PHONE DOWN TO GET ONE BITE, I COULDNT EVEN ENJOY MY EXTRA CHEESE BECAUSE MY TELEPHONE IS BLOWING UPPPP people are spilling tea left and right, i probably dont even have time to write this so i gotta keep it short and sweet; the false beautys are really trying to slide in my pms and sing kumbaya and if they wanna sing with me, bring it on because they are not a songstress like i am, ill riff run and harmonize yall right off this island. PERIOD. ive been REALLY trying to play up this card where im just some dumb bitch, let everyone keep thinking im the mayor of boo boo the foolsville, but i know a lot more than i let on so catch the tea on that

i swear for it being our "day off" this sure has been the most work i feel like ive had in a hot minute first of all fuck the tomb but FUCK this pyramid even more the second it was announced i found the extra link to the slide puzzle on the blog within SECONDS but 1) i suck at slide puzzles and 2) MY COMPUTER CRASHED HALF WAY THROUGH IT SO I HAD TO START AGAIN. literally took me 2 hours to finish, so that was embarrassing, then much like how the tomb had questions, this pyramid has a hashi puzzle to solve in EIGHT MINUTES....which i dont even know what the fuck that is sorry to this hashi man i gave a good effort but didnt get it in time, so im gonna try again tomorrow of course but im sure someone who isnt a dumbass had better luck than me and got it so thats that on that ....also gorl some of these people aka kendall really got the audacity, she messages me today and is like IS JAKEY COMING TO YOU SAYING STUFF ABOUT ME TRYING TO PIT US AGAINST EACH OTHER oh gorl, if only you knew its ME going to jakey saying shit about YOU trying to get him against YOU, because your first mistake was trying to prepare an alliance to vote me out, your second mistake was running around telling everyone i have an idol, and your third mistake was making an enemy of jakey, now there's this angry jakey on the loose and im gonna just try to work my magic to tame him and keep him like a pet dragon on my side to get them out and then deal with whether i think ill be able to trust him going foward, but again, i know i voted him out last game so i cant rule out him trying to target me already, especially if somehow worst case scenerio people try to pick us off first for knowing each other also had a call with augusto which was.... interesting, look, i genuinely like him as a person even though i still feel some type of way about him turning fake on me, so i definitely want to maintain a friendship with him even if it's hard for me to just stomach talking to him because of how stupid he must think i am, keep your friends close but your frenemys closer!! then i just had a call with devon too which was also interesting because, i do like him as a person, but idk how to feel about it!!! after all of them lying to me in the beginning im already feeling PTSD and dont know if i can trust anyone, but he gave me some valuable information even more so just reaffirming them all thinking i have the idol which i know is a crock of bs because DAMMIT IVE TRIED I JUST DONT HAVE IT. I know amir has it, it's so obvious to me, maybe augusto?? but i think amir. apparently devon also just kinda said he think he could see the first vote coming down to me or jakey or even him which.......makes me really nervous, i wasnt planning on fighting for immunity at the auction i wouldve rather had an advantage of some sort, but i think with this cast, and the amount of intertwined relationships going into this first tribal, i want that immunity necklace and im gonna do my damndest to get it OKAYYY this game is going to drive me insane, i feel like ive been running my mouth TOO much and talking to too many people and am gonna get voted out for it but i also simultaneously feel like i havent talked to people no where near enough and, am gonna be voted out for it so ???buckle the fuck up ladies we've officially boarded the confusion express so im just gonna try and sit back and enjoy the ride ig

Welp we are on the bottom... shit. I'm going to be honest, this week has not been great for me. Like my real life is slowly going to shit and now my fake life has been screwed. Thanks Jakey... you dick. All is not lost, because out there in the distance is the iconic duo of Jordan Pines and Kendall Duffy AKA Sarah and Woo. You know, Sarah and Woo. That iconic duo in Cagayan. Remember that one time Sarah walked up to Woo and said "Sup I'm Sarah," and he nodded and said "Woo". And that other time they were sitting on the same log laughing at something Tony said? That is stuff of legends man. Okay so genuinely Jordan meant to say Tony and Woo but he accidentally said Sarah and Woo and now this is our legacy. The plan is to play it both ways. As this isn't going to be a simple Pangonging. Obviously a beauty is going to leave but before we all go, they are going to try to get rid of some of the brawns. The goal is that the beauty isn't me and the brawn isn't Jordan. I know you're legally not supposed to trust Jordan Pines but it's never really been the case for me? IDK maybe it's cause he always gets sniped before I betray him. Maybe it's cause the one time he voted me out it was cause I committed suicide by cop. But for the most part he's a realible ally. Also this would be a shitty and stupid lie right? Like he knows I don't have an idol, literally everyone knows that! Trying to get in my good graces is a terrible fucking idea, Jesus. Right now I'm just going to market myself and the others as a free vote. I know it's not realistic to get Augusto and Amir to the finals but it's all I really want. We've been through shit together. I don't want to be put in a position to get them out. I also believe that either Jakey and Ali has the idol. So this round I'm going to flush it. I'm not going to be able to get him out, I just need him to believe he's going to be voted out. He's a very paranoid individual, it shouldn't be too difficult.... I am not going home tonight. I refuse to. 

okay so i haven't done a good typed confessional in a WHILE and i have thoughts. so i'm basically really frustrated with a lot of this tribe and i don't know how to vocalise it. but first the positives.. the fact that i have an alliance of me/autumn/jake brings me such a rush of seretonin, i love them both and i will fight my hardest to get the three of us to the endgame of this game. i think rn my goal final five is me/jake/autumn/adam/devon, adam because i dont think he is playing this game as well as he necessarily thinks he is, but i also think we have trust and he is someone who is scoop-up-able? and then devon i get good energy from him and his straightforward energy i'd like to see in the endgame. the rest however.... whew. well actually Liam is fine, he is sweet and doing his best. of the rest tho... hmm. kendall's energy doesn't quite land with me, her dry sense of humour doesn't really work with me ha so i feel like we are gonna struggle to gel as allies (especially since we are either side of the weird brawn/beauty divide). augusto is very chatty but its a lot of chatting for... the sake of it, like his social game is to just overwhelm you with lots of messages but its nothing of substance. amir i actually like!! he has me-energy, i would actually like him to stick around (he is a good shield too). duncan i am still sus about from premerge, but i'd love to mend that bond because i might need duncan?! tj and jordan both give snake energy... tj is suddenly back to being non-commital with me and it frustrates me, i wish he would like... talk to me KJLSADF. jordan is the same i always get weird energy from him and he was in that weird alliance during the swap and didn't tell me... feel a f10 boot for jordan ideally. honestly its just frustrating i feel like everyone on this tribe is so cagey and like just thinks talking a lot is social game?! and its... not. but yeah ideally first four merge boots: kendall, augusto, tj & jordan (tho the last two is open to consideration if they stop being shady to me KJSDFA).

I just got immunity in the auction and I feel like I wasted a chance to get some long term for my game. Because I wasn't going anywhere this round (I don't think), but like at least it prevented some other people from getting it which allows me some room to make a couple moves without too many repercussions. In terms of social standing, I truly think I have put myself in a good spot. Jakey and Jordan have both said they want me to be their number ones; Devon also has said the same and has told me that he holds the Double Vote. I know that Autumn and Duncan are both willing to work with me in our alliance with Jordan. Liam and I have bonded quite a bit. And I get good vibes from Augusto, Kendall, and Adam. So the big question now is, my target at the moment is Amir... how do I get him out? I need to break up Amir, Augusto, and Kendall so that I have a better chance of working with Augusto specifically down the line and hopefully Kendall as well. I have a feeling that Adam will push for one of the trio and the trio will push for Adam or Jakey, which should give me plenty of ammo to try and make that move. Correction to my last confessional... the trio can't target Jakey because he's immune. Suck it!

i really... really just got my second idol huh... i cant believe it. i bodied that idol hunt, i sat their trying like six hundred combos for the morse code, got that demonic tile and did that evil hashi puzzle... im so happy hehe okay so ignore my super jaded confessional from yesterday im back in again akdjfsaf im literally on a reign of terror doing harsh confessionals then apologising but askdjfafa we move. so yesterday was a real busy day, we had the auction, i called lots of people and... i got myself a little bit of bling. with the auction first, it was really interesting. i misunderstood the "idol block" so i snatched it up, but then it just blocks hunting for the idol versus playing one, but for my mental health am glad i have that. i also got the vote revealer, which was like a mid-tier thing that im happy to have just got a second thing tbh. then i had like six hundred calls kaljsdfas. i called with devon first, he is really sweet and we had a great talk tbh? i really like him and hope we stick together. i did then go on to have very similar conversations to the one i had with him, with augusto and amir, but i felt best about the conversation me and devon had tbh. augusto is sweet, and very social. like i'd prefer to vote him to kendall, but i like him ha and feel like we have a bond now. i think i could be a good number moving forwards (i wouldn't want him gone 11th/10th). amir is also very nice, we are calling tomorrow, and i just dont think targetting amir is in my best interest rn? like what's the end goal in doing that. so then right now. i think i want the merge vote to be kendall? i feel like if we let that trio slide, its scary, and i have a closer connection to amir and augusto of the three. i think then the brawn tribe can turn inwards, but im eager to push the brawn tribe like "implosion" until after that trio is taken apart (to the style of splitting up alex c/jones/mo from montenegro) also otherwise i got an IDOLLL, or rather my second hehe. i put in a LOT of work to get it, i translated morse code, i did a demonic hashi puzzle, i got the 2048 tile. i earned this idol and im very proud. now i have two idols so have such wiggle room. and i'm building bonds across the tribe... im not saying im set, but... im covered for the time being

okay so im a clown and got frustrated with jordan for telling jake he was hesitant to keep me in... jordan just told me he has been downplaying our connection to people like jake KJLSDAFA so i fully just bought into nothing.

i am starting to feel my standing in the game rise, like im building bonds... everywhere. like im starting to become set to go the distance because i have lots of lowkey social bonds and because im not overtly super strategic i dont think i seem as threatening.

okay so ideal merge bootlist: f4: me/autumn/jake/devon, adam (5th), liam/jordan (6th/7th), amir (8th), duncan (9th), augusto (10th), tj (11th), kendall (12th) and then at the moment the order i would vote for people as a juror (bringing this back from montenegro): jake > autumn > amir > jordan > duncan(?) > devon > augusto > adam > tj > kendall > liam because i think jake has already idoled someone, and to make it to f3 after that is super impressive. autumn is a queen, has real strategic savvy and will have made moves to get to the end. amir is very much like autumn and him making it to the end. jordan is an amazing player and tbh deserves a win. duncan is really in game-mode and id love to see him in FTC (what a role reversal), devon has a real rootable underdog story, augusto is a social king, adam needs to pick it up beyond just targetting beauties to get my vote. tj/kendall are question marks for me, and then liam i LOVE but he doesn't necessarily 100% want to be here so i would be tentative to vote him. but its crazy because i think: jake/autumn/devon/adam/liam/jordan/amir/duncan... all trust me to some extent that's... such a large portion of the tribe. so i need to be careful im not scorning people too much, but this is a real work-able situation i think ahh

Interesting development that both Kendall and Amir want/wanted to call and talk to me. I just finished talking to Kendall (she is so sweet, I enjoy talking to her!) and I definitely see an avenue where we work together, but I am concerned that there does seem to be a guard up, which I totally understand given that we haven't been on a tribe together. We both kind of mentioned that Liam has been flirting with the idea of asking to be voted out which gave me an avenue to not say that the name I would throw out is Amir. I do hope that Liam isn't adamant about going because I truly do care for him and want him to stay in this game. I picked up a great ally in him after the initial Brawn vote and losing him now won't be fun. It does dispel this Brawn alliance people probably expect to be happening, but am I at ease with Liam going to facilitate that? But if that happens, that delays the fight between Adam/Jakey against the trio of Augusto/Amir/Kendall, which in fact would be good for me as it allows me to slide by for another week... ugh, decisions decisions. Why do I feel like this first vote could determine the rest of my game?

So Liam still wants to be in the game, which is good. I can easily work with that. Yes, I feel awful telling Kendall I thought the vote would be Liam, but now that he seems to want to be in the game, I think I can work with Liam possibly staying. I still have to wait it out and listen to what some others think, but I may be back on the board of going for one of the trio. I know Jakey wants to do Kendall, but I don't want her to go just yet. Eventually, yeah probably, but I do want her here.

Whew merge merge merge. Tonight is the first night to play my legacy advantage, i could block a vote but honestly im probably not going to. Id be pretty caught off guard if i was the target tonight and I think id rather let it fester to an idol, whether for me or someone else later tha depends on my game play. Last night was the auction and boy did jordan win big, i got a whole vote steal that im pretty sure no one knows about. I created a believable (i think) lie about what i bid on and spread and thankfully adam came out the gate with a super fact checkable lie about the auction so i think most of the heats on him. For the vote it could be a beauty butpart of me really sees liam going home just cause people are so scared of how many brawn are in the game, and like thats fine i can deal with that. I am slowly building my relationships to the point where i can get the ball rolling enough to do some damage. Ive been biding my time in the shadows for most of this game, but Jordan Pines is about to rise!

this round is what we call a mixed bag like the auction? hated that girl. I saved my money and all I got was a drawing like sis this is the Survivor Auction not an actual auction ;-; but other than that, I’ve felt really good about how I’ve been playing? Like always, I’m trying to be the Belle of the Ball and have everyone want me as a date yknow? Currently, I have my main allies (Amir, Kendall, Devon) but others (Autumn, Duncan, Ali, Jordan, Jakey) have expressed that they want to work with me which is cute! I don’t know who to trust tho ngl but yay? My main priority is getting my footing in the game this first round and hopefully getting out a Brawn. The main two I want gone from the Brawns are Liam M and Jordan Pines. Liam M is the easier sell and I don’t mind that, Jordan Pines is someone I want gone soon though. I also want Adam gone if at all possible sometime soon but we shall see! 

i take it back jordan and duncan can go again...? literally like both of them preach up and down that we are gonna work together, then pull shady stuff like saying me and adam are a duo in their alliance chat of gremlins with love of my life autumn and professional robot tj?! literally just because y'all linked up at swap and think you are gods gift to alliances doesnt mean me and adam are a duo? i just talk to him and actually give him a chance in this game unlike like... 99% of this cast. now i cant really defend adam at all or people are gonna try and snap my neck? which sucks... adam was in my endgame but because i see him having a losing finalist arc versus me being a duo with him. so that sucks but well. it just reconfirms to me that i have to trust autumn. which is not hard because i literally love her sm and i want to see thrive in this season. so i am praying it works out. this cast continues to prove that being a muppet is a contagious disease.

im absolutely LIVID right now.... i dont even know where to begin ?? let's start with this: are we playing SURVIVOR or are we playing america's next top CLOWN?? because based on how silly all these people are it doesnt seem like survivor. this is my 3rd time playing this game, and never once have i ever made it to a merge where .... every single person wants to just settle on one name since they're the "easy" vote.... and yet that's all im being told with people wanting to vote liam?? at this point i hope the plan is to vote ME out and everyone is just telling me liam because i dont want to play the game with a bunch of feeble minded school of fish who have no backbone. first of all everyone has wanted to do nothing but play that ANNOYING ass "ooh its been quiet i havent heard a name yet" game for the entire day. We're 3 hours before tribal and all the sudden everyone wants to sing kumbaya and vote for liam??? because he's not around, which guess what it does make him an easy vote but....this is survivor why would you EVER vote that person off in the merge right away, he can literally go next or any other time. I refuse to sit back and just conform to it, ill probably end up having to, but im gonna try to push what to ME makes the most sense, not only for myself but for everyone... to get one of those 3 false beautys out. I've been going to a lot of people and basically saying "Let me break it down for you: one of them 150% has the idol??? and thanks to the suvivor auction, and based on what ive gathered from people they probably have advantages too.....why waste this vote being "easy" because then next round....they're gonna know it'll be one of them and so......they're gonna play all their shit and take someone out, and i absolutely reserve the right to laugh at whoever it is because theyre an idiot and didnt want to wake up and play the game (unless it's me of course oop) I've approached, jakey, autumn, duncan, jordan, ali, devon, tj, pretty much ANYONE who has a brain to just state the obvious.....its stupid getting liam out. literally the stupidest and quite frankly downright embarrassing move to make for a group of players of this caliber. and you know what responses ive gotten? "oh its too soon to rock the boat" "we have to get one of those brawns out" "yeah we just have to go with the brains on this one" ??? too soon??? at merge??????? to play the game of survivor??????????? at this point im about to try and just tell liam with the very slim chance that he has an idol and can use it on himself because how am i supposed to try and play the game of survivor with people who dont want to play its frustrating. **update as i was writing this i just had a call with jordan pines, im not as mad anymore after smoking weed with him for like 20 minutes ahfdd but its BORING LIKE WAKE UP PEARL LETS PLAY SURVIVOR...i probably made a big mistake pushing those 3 to as many people as i just did but whatever hopefully it at least planted seeds with people and people actually try and approach me in the future rounds with that idea again in other news, the auction happened and i got the power to go to the prejuror island and plead my case with them regarding this next vote, no one was even there so that was lovely i felt like i was talking to myself so nothing new there, i peeped connor was online but didnt have anything to say when i showed up, much like how he never had anything good to say in the game and that's why he was voted out, but ANYWAY. im pissed i made a case to them to vote for amir and now no one will even make the move with me. I also bought a challenge advantage which i wanted MOSTLY so i could just tell people thats what i got from it because to me i suck at challenges anyway, so it shouldnt paint as much of a target on my back and i want people to know i dont have one of those really scary ones (and i also want to keep making people think amir or kendall has something good), but ali did confide in me he has the vote reveal which made me trust him a lot more, and i dont plan on revealing to anyone what he told me so anywho, tribal is NOT gonna go my way tonight, i tried to make a move but liam is unfortunately completely unsaveable because he's not around even though i do like talking to him personally, i opened the door to people and it just got slammed in my face but in this game you have to learn when to drop it so im hoping i dropped it fast enough to not be a future target because people could still very well vote me out next because they'd be taking out the only real beauty left!

tj, jordan and duncan are all going home as soon as possible. they really think they are slick and they are not. they think they can badmouth me, my game and my position and it wont get back to me. there is a word for it and it is clownery. one of them is going to get to stepping really soon. maybe jordan.

also i cant be too mad at liam because im voting him but i wish it wasnt like this. well. what can you do. if he plays an idol im playing mine.

Now that we're told the right day... Well, it looks like most people are back on the Liam Train, and damn I really don't want this move to be made. Like, yes, it will set me up well moving forward: less "Brawn Alliance" hype, more battles between Adam/Ali vs. Beauty Babes, and a decent amount of social mobility for me. But this just feels like a giant waste and I don't know how to stop this at this rate.

First of all: YAASSSSSSSS WE LOVE MAKING THE MERGE!!!! I’ve gotten over my Scott grief and actually am pretty content with him out of the game since he was a big contender to win it all. The time I’ve been able to spend talking to people has been amazing and I feel like I genuinely have a good relationship with everyone on the tribe besides Liam, which is why I’m happy to see him go. He’s a really nice guy but he’s not adding anything to my game. I expect the vote to go 11-1-1 tonight. I could always get idoled out or blindsided and that would suck but you try your best and do what you can! I think I have EXCELLENT relationships with Amir, Jordan and Autumn and that’s like the kingpins of each group so if someone comes after me hopefully I’ll hear about it one way or another. I need to get my head out of Amir’s ass though, I’m most excited to play with him and we called for literally 2 hours and 50 minutes yesterday. I’ve always thought he was cute and intelligent from when I was in the community before and I fangirled getting to play with him. I like to think I’m in a good position in this game so far, we’ll see as the game progresses. One last thing? ADAM!? SIS?!?! EVERYONE IS AWARE YOU LIED TO THEM! YOUR ASS IS GOING HOME NEXT! PERIODT!! (Hopefully I’ll be here to help vote you out lol

Well, here we are? This is where my game was MADE back in Guyana, however, I clearly don't have a solidified alliance I am willing to take to the end at this stage. We have 5 Brawns, three former winners, a person I voted out in Guyana, two people that voted me out, and a person I tried voting out last round all still in the game. Still, I am going to make the best of it. In the short period of time this game has provided, I have been able to make REALLY solid connections. Not all of them are 100% genuine, but the hope is that they're enough to gain trust and information that I can use to advance my game. 

if i go home tonight im gonna lose my marbles

so basicallyyyy jakey is gathering intel from the other sideand apparently theyre all scared of me, grow up??? im literally harmless wtf

HOHOHOHOOGO WHO WANTS SOME TEA ? SO DUNCAN SPILLED THAT back long ago on original hathor, remember when I was losing my mind thinking aj ratted everything to Adam It was THE TRUTH and I’m glad aj has been dealt with. It’s what he deserves .

adam thinks hes so fucking slick running around telling everyone i gotta go and that i have the idol, and then messaging me in my pms trying to call and have a "tea-spilll uwu" when hes just going to use that against me anywayyyy honey u arent as smart as u think u are, and when the time is right, you're getting crucified ADAM CAME TO ME TO BE LIKE "FUCK JAKEY WON IMMUNITY" and im like "ik :( " and he runs to jakey and goes "THE RATS ARE MAD U WON" mark my words if im leaving this game i will blow him tf up on the way out

these people are all rats ALLIANCE: Threats R Us members: jakey ali autumn Source: jakey ALLIANCE: (name unknown) Members: Autumn Duncan TJ Jordan Source: Autumn so autumn ratted on an alliance to me and not the other, which lets me know that she is far more invested in Ali that she is in Duncan. Working with Duncan is not going to save face with autumn, i have to treat her as a separate entity and work with her genuinely if i want safety from ali, like she sold duncan tj and jordan down a river to me so fast i love her so much, i want to work with her but i have to see how far it goes people i want out : adam tj liam ali jordan but rn ill settle for anyone but me cuz no one is talking to me

devon wanted to talk real quick and tellin me that there was a whole ass plan started by adam to get me out, like say the vote is kendall but actually vote for me, and the plan was entertained by brawn, also i told jakey i have the idol, and jakey told me ali has 2 idols a vote reveal and an idol block

[glowstickhaloboy]

AU where keith accompanies lance to get a tattoo

so like. lance expects pain. he knows that getting a tattoo will hurt, he just doesnt know how much.

so he brings keith along with him.

thats the thing. keith is lances rival (but also kinda his friend, so it isnt weird to ask him to watch lance get a tattoo) so lance would never  n e v e r  show weakness in front of keith, even if he was getting a needle repeatedly buzzed through his skin

(lance is not terrified of needles, but that doesnt make him their biggest fan)

he made his appointment like a week ago, and since he was doing something small, they were able to squeeze him in much faster than hed thought they would be able to. suddenly, he has to quickly muster up his bravery.

“are you okay, man?” asks keith as they walk into the shop. “you look kinda pale.”

“what? im fine. shut up. mind your own business.”

“pft.”

lance almost feels bad, but hes more distracted by the fact that hes about to permanently mark his skin with ink. like. forever.

and its a worthwhile tattoo, its his aunts name on his shoulder because she passed away last year, and a lot of the adults in lance’s family have the same tattoo and he wants to prove that he’s not a baby anymore, but its still a big commitment

lance and keith are taken to the back room, where a guy is literally in the process of getting a tattoo done, which should not be a surprise in a tattoo parlor, but still lance kinda stares like he cant believe hes really here

keith nudges him. “are you sure youre okay?” he asks again. its the genuine concern in his voice that steels lance’s resolve. bastard.

“i am fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine Keith, what part of that statement dont you understand??” he glances back at the dude with half a dragon on his back. gulps. “totally fine.”

“because if you arent sure about this,” keith continues, “you shouldnt do it.”

lance scoffs. “im sure, keith. dont be ridiculous. and since when did you care? besides, i already made a downpayment, so if i dont go through with it, im out 60 bucks.”

keith shrugs. “whatever you say.”

so eventually the guy getting dragon-ed leaves with more of a dragon, not all of it, because apparently huge tattoos are done in sessions (by hour how can someone be okay with getting needled for h o u r s at a time???) and the artist wipes down seemingly everything in the room with disinfectant. lance is grateful for this. it gives him plenty of time to bolster his courage again.

the artist explains everything through to lance, and he doesnt know why hes still nervous. he really doesnt want the needle to hurt. he doesnt want to regret the decision in three months. he doesnt want everyone to make a big deal out of him getting a tattoo.

he has to take off his shirt because the tattoo is going to be on the back of his shoulder. hes been using humor to cover up his freak out this entire time, but now if he laughs he’ll mess up the tattoo, so he just has to lay there, trying not to look at keith, and listen to the pandora station the shop has playing.

finally, just as its about to start, even though keith is there, lance admits to the artist, “the anticipation is going to be horrible if im not facing you-”

“relax, man,” the artist says. “im not gonna leave you hanging. I’ll tell you before i come at you.”

and lance is like. okay. you can do this. brave face time. keith is right there. time to impress him.

and then the needle starts buzzing and lances eyes must go as wide as saucers. keith hides a snicker behind his hand and lance glares at him harder than he glared at uncle ricardo when he went for the last quesadilla at lance’s sister’s wedding. “i dont see you getting stabbed over here, keith,” he says.

keith shrugs. “you chose this,” is all he says.

“damn right i did, and its important to me, so stop making fun of me, you nerd ass jerk face.”

keith sobers. “youre right, sorry.” hes still smiling, though.

and, okay, there is pain. theres definitely pain. but its honestly not horrible. thinking about what it was going to be was definitely worse than going through it. lance isnt a wimp, he finds a rhythm to breathe in and grits his teeth past the burn.

all in all, the tattoo does not take more than fifteen minutes. lance is actually surprised by how fast it goes. he stands when the artist tells him to and twists around to check out his back in the mirror.

his heart soars. it looks awesome. he may or may not tear up a little.

the artist helps lance bandage the tattoo and gives him instruction for aftercare, and lance returns the favor with a generous tip.

keith is holding out lance’s shirt, and lance flushed when he realizes that hes still naked from the waist up. he snatches his shirt and tugs it back on.

“it does look really good, man,” says keith.

lance is practically glowing. “it does, doesnt it?” he says. “my family’s going to love it.” and then softer, “i love it.”

keith punches lance’s arm lightly. “you should. and, for the record, i was surprised at how well you kept it together. except for gritting your teeth once, you really handled yourself.”

lance’s blush deepens. “were you watching that closely?” he asks, embarrassed.

keith doesnt say anything because they reach the door to the shop. he holds it open for lance. lance catches a whiff of the pizza place across the street.

“dude, i am starving. i havent been able to eat all day, i was so nervous. you wanna grab something to eat? my treat, since i dragged you all the way out there.”

keith--keith--smiles. “i’d like that,” he says.

once theyre seated inside, lance asks, “so come on then, if you were getting a tattoo, what would it be?”

“i already have one,” keith says, stone serious.

“really?! where??”

“on my foot. its a wolf’s head that says courage. its spelled out in the teeth.”

“no way! youre lying to me right now! i gotta see this!”

keith rolls his eyes. “obviously im lying lance. but if i had to get one... i dont know. i would want something personal. but i feel like i dont have enough pieces of my own life to pick something out yet.”

lance stares for a second. blinks. “keith, that is literally the saddest thing anyone has ever said to me. you arent waiting for your life to stumble back towards you! youre living your life right now. who you are right now is, well, who you are. and your life is what it is. even if youre not, i dont know, complete, youve still got to have things that are important to you.”

“yeah.” keith looks down at the table, folding a closed sugar packet. “i guess youre right.”

their pizza shows up. they dig in, and the conversation turns lighter. lance surprises himself by thinking how much hes enjoying spending time with keith. keith, of all people, makes lance happy. like he has any right to.

“alright,” keith says at last, his mouth sort of full. “it would be a massive cock over my heart.”

lance chokes. “KEITH.”

“because of how much i love cock, lance, you see, its whats most important to me-”

“WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS TO ME.”

keith breaks and starts laughing. “Shh youll get us kicked out!”

lance stifles his heart attack with great difficulty. because keith, who lance had the biggest hate-crush on in the history of hate-crushes, just told lance that he loves cock, and lance has one of those. and it is definitely getting the wrong idea from this conversation.

“i retract my question on the grounds that you are not taking this seriously,” says lance, blushing furiously.

keith nods. “thats fair.”

they recover quickly and finish their pizza. as theyre walking out, lance realizes that he really doesnt want their fun day together to end yet. he invites keith back to his house for video games or a movie or whatever, and hes sure hes going to be shut down. but keith, surprisingly, accepts.

halfway into the movie, keith breaks the stiff canal of distance lance placed between them on the couch to say, “lance. you know ive been hitting on you all day, right?”

lance chokes again even though there isnt anything in his mouth this time. “oh yeah?” he stammers. “well, m-maybe you’re so lousy at it i couldn’t even tell!” his voice sounds shrill. his face is burning. he cant look keith in the eyes.

“i thought that might be a possibility,” keith says coolly. “that’s why im telling you know: i have a crush on you, lance.”

“You cant just say stuff like that!” lance protests, waving his arms around defensively. “what am i supposed to say back to that?”

“hopefully, something like, ‘wow, me too, keith, today has been the most fun ever.’”

without looking at keith, lance slowly melts leftways on the couch, so he ends up pooled somewhere in keiths general area. “i had fun today,” he says. “i think youre hot. and nice. but thats all youre getting out of me.”

keith laughs, and lance decides he could stand to hear that again. all in all, not a bad day

[shattered-catalyst]

Three times.

I wanted to try something a little different here. I wanted to try writing first person perspective!! Wow I havent done this in YEARS.

Summary: Taking place between the meeting Rictor thread and the camping thread. Addressing some development that took place behind the scenes as it were. Rictor AU so not same Rictor but a Rictor because the ideas were cute. Like come on gimmie some happy Rictor any day I will fight for happy Rictor.

Excerpt:

I tried to tell him they were not actually apples. Apples come whole and not in bags with water in them and demonic boxes with eyes. I explain it must be a contraption of Lord Mojo’s doing. Rictor’s face turns sour. I may have ruined the food for him.

I was most certainly not prepared for this at all. My telling Rictor about the diner was my way of showing I was somewhat receptive to him entering my world. But now here he was, walking towards my usual booth in that ridiculous brown jacket. His motorbike (which i want) is parked outside, glinting in the sun. Doing a small greeting he sits down a crossed from me like this is no big deal. Nothing different from his regular Tuesday.

“Coffee. Thats all thanks.” Rictor orders with the kind of casual attitude I wonder if I could ever replicate. Where ever this man goes he looks completely natural. It is irritating. It is like NOTHING touches him. Like he IS the very earth itself.Always connected. “Crossword?”

I nod, turning it so he can see it right side up. “Yes.”

He seems slightly,off by the shortness of my comment.  Ive heard I need to start elaborating more when I talk. 

“You uh do those a lot?”

“Yes”

“Ah.” Thank goodness Stacey is back with the coffee, she and Rictor make small talk about the weather before she rushes off to chat with a regular. We sit in silence, Rictor stirring his coffee. Looking much too curious about the types of sugar on the table. I glance up only once to see if he is still there; he is.

“Rosewell crash victim,supposedly. Five letters.” Im chewing my pencil again and I do not care.

He looks confused for a few seconds, before looking down at the crossword. “Alien.”

“Spell it.”

“A-l-i-e-n.” He takes a sip of coffee. Silence passes and I nod to him. It fits.

I take a sip from mine, holding the pencil to paper. “Done by itself. Machine. Starts with M-E-C.”

“Mechanical. M-e-c-h-a-n-i-c-a-l.”

“When you receive money: four letters ends with D.”

“My favorite. “He takes a sip and then gives me a funny look when I express my confusion that that wouldn’t fit the spaces provided. “Try paid. P-a-i-d.”

 We spend a good hour like that. I am surprise he stayed, once the puzzle is finished I fold it. Placing it in my pocket to copy the words down later. 

I stand, he looks at me but I do not make eye contact. Do not want him to see my eyes as I leave. “8 am.”

“What?” Hes halfway after me out the door, holding it open. 

“I come at 8 am. Everyday.”

As I turn to leave I see him smile.

“Rictor, I have eaten two of these happy meals and I do not feel any happier. I believe you have been mislead.” I am concerned now. He is trying very hard for something I am uncertain of. This is the second time I have seen him. His brown wavy hair still new to me. Still fluffy and soft enough that I make sure to have some odd excuse to touch it. I hope he doesnt mind.

Now we are sitting in a fast food place, complete with garish colors and screaming children. It is very, new. He was uncertain.

“Yeah, well the drive thru is packed.” Taking a sip of soda he pokes at the bag of what should be apple slices, but I somehow doubt they are. “Eat.”

I tried to tell him they were not actually apples. Apples come whole and not in bags with water in them and demonic boxes with eyes. I explain it must be a contraption of Lord Mojo’s doing. Rictor’s face turns sour. I may have ruined the food for him.

We come to a bargain he will eat half the not-actually-apples if I eat the other half.

Rictor has taken me to a movie, said it would be good for learning. I insist we sit in the very back so we cannot be ambushed. He seems to find this amusing. The theater was fascinating and the action sequences done quite well, for earthlings. I enjoyed how immersive the experience was and barely touched my popped corn. Rictor did not seem to mind as he ate my cup as well as his own. He seemed quite pleased.

“I only feel the death of the main warrior was a waste of his potential.”

He glances at me as we leave, stopping before we get out of the theater’s gloomy corridor. “You know, they didn’t actually die right? In the movie they died but in real life that dudes still around.”

The explanation baffles me slightly. “Of course, this has been explained to me already. Although the concept is new, I sort of enjoy it. Seeing the same person try on different roles is quite applicable.” At least to his current situation it was. Before he would think it was cowardly to not know your role. Now he questioned everything.

“Just checking.” Rictor seems relieved and puts his sun glasses on, pushing open the heavy doors. Light consumes us. For a moment my breath catches, pupils contracting sharply. I am no longer with Rictor in New York. I am not where I should be. Instantly my chest is heaving and I am stepping backwards. Earth shaking beneath my feet.

 Somehow I end up a few feet from the door, catching my breath in an alcove with fountains for water. I realize after a few heartbeats Rictor has been calling me. But his voice is so far away, I barely hear him over the roar of the crowd. I am not certain what is happening, but I am more than certain that the arena is on the other side of those doors. The long narrow hallway had been unsettling before but now it was sinister and familiar.

The earth is speaking to me in whispers, pointing me where to go. But before I can follow he is there. Rictor reaches to touch me and I feel myself freeze. But he does not strike me, he leans against the wall beside me, his eyes look hurt. I have hurt him.

I dont know how long we stood there, but the earth was still again and I allowed myself to step out to stand by his side. Swallowing a hard lump in my throat I gently joustle his shoulder with my own. Leaving it there to show I was alright with contact now. He seems relieved, but I still feel ashamed of hurting his feelings. It clouds my uemeur.

His gaze goes from me and back to the door. “C’mon.” Wrapping an arm around my shoulder he begins walking us to the door. I resist, stopping him just short of the exit.

“Rictor, I.” I pause unsure how to explain what I need to. The hand on my shoulder tightens and he squeezes me closer. I feel connected again. Solidly grounded to the Earth.

Sighing he looks at the door and then at a group of people watching us. “What the fuck are you looking at buddy? Yeah thats what I thought mind your own damn business!” He turns back to me nose still wrinkled “listen, I dont know whats going on between you and this door.” Unspoken words were: tell me whats wrong.

I look away feeling ashamed, but he wants me to try so I do my best. I will always do my best for him. “The light. It is like entering the arena.” His lips tighten a bit, I am unsure if I hurt him again. But I hope I haven’t.

He holds me a bit closer and pumps his fist. “Then we will enter the arena together. I bet we can knock down some walls. Squish Mojo flat. What do you say?” He sounds so genuine, so positive, so....Odd. I am fairly certain he is forcing peppy bravado. It is, slightly endearing.

Raising a brow at him I frown. “Rictor what is wrong with you.”

“Hahah what ISNT wrong with me.” He rubs my shoulder, other hand firmly on the push bar. “Just close your eyes, and Ill tell you when you can open them.”

I feel that it may be needed to explain to Rictor that I am not an idiot. Although the mere fact I have to do so is irritating. He is standing in front of the diner with me, leaning against his truck. Some beat up thing, I suppose it is in good enough shape that it is reliable. The back is over flowing with things pinned down by a tarp. It makes me uneasy. But Rictor’s neutral smile and relaxed appearance settled the suspicion. 

Abruptly he opens the driver door and clicks a button. “Right, look in my car, this bag broke.” He holds up a bag of starbursts. Economy sized. Tropical fruit variety. I feel my eyes grow wider. 

“I think some went under the seats, y’know? My hands are too big to get under there.”

“Very well.” I get in and began collecting them for him, obviously he did not want them melting in his car. It was very warm out and I noticed that they melted into sticky pools at a certain temperature. 

Rictor gets in, starts the car and stares at me a moment. Fingers tapping the wheel hes looking a bit, thoughtful. Maybe even pensive. Thats a word right? “Make sure you get them all.” He shuts the door and the car pulls out.

 I am totally aware he is distracting me. But there are many candies here and they are going to ruin his carpet. Then he would be disappointed. Why I care I have no idea. But I do. Somehow. I think I will try and accept this feeling and work with it.

“Keep looking.” His voice is lighter, I glance up and see he is staring at the road in front of us. The smile isn’t on his face, but its in his voice I can hear it. I wish I could see his eyes to know for sure....

[wheretheroadsplits]

12/31/2019

Dear Dad,

I havent written to you in while and I apologize for that. Usually when I write to you, its my time to greive and cry. I have been so busy with school and finals that I havent even given myself time to cry this month because of the holidays. Today is the last day of the year. To be honest I dont know how I feel about it. A part of me is excited to start a new year, a new chapter but at the same time a part of me is sad about it. So much has happened this past year that I dont know if Im ready to leave it behind. I know it doesnt mean that I am leaving you behind. I can never do that. But it just doesnt feel right. Ive been trying to be strong and to keep going because I know that is what you wouldve wanted. For us to continue our lives but I just miss you so damn much. It was hard being around Bri’s family during the holidays because I see her dad and Uncle Perno and I just kept thinking to myself about how much I want you to be here. It has been 9 months since you passed away and I still hear you breathing during your last few minutes. I close my eyes and I still see you laying there in the bed, no reaction or response. I still think about the last time I told you That I love you. Written on a wrote board because you lost your hearing and couldnt hear the words come from my own mouth. 9 months later and I still cry as if it just happened yesterday. I would do anything just have you back. I miss you so damn much Dad.

So much time has passed since I last wrote to you so I will catch you up on everything that has happened so far. Actually, alot of good things happened.

I finished my first semester of grad school! Honestly, it was not hard at all except for the finals. But it was mainly just alot of work, not really “hard”. I took three classes this past semester and I really loved all of them. I learned sooooo much and Im just excited to graduate and start my career. I had to do journal enteries and mine ended up being 25 single spaced pages... thats really what killed me this semester. It took so long but I actually did it. I recieved only 1 grade so far and its a 100% in my online class. You wouldve been so proud of me. I know i wasted so much time and money because I switched my major when I shouldve just kept my education major but I feel like this is where Im supposed to be. My life wouldve been way different if it didnt go down this path and honestly Im grateful that ot did.

Frankie got into the police academy!! You wouldve been beyond proud of him dad! I am so happy that he finally figures out what he wanted to do with his life. He has struggled so much over the years, I am glad that he is finally happy. He loves living with Shari. He is officially a traitor and began being an eagles fan 🤢 But I guess we can forgive him for that since he is now a south jersy boy, right? He came home for christmas and it felt good to be all together. Crazy to think that the last time we were all together was two years ago for christmas. We spent christmas just the 5 of us in our house and it was the best christmas by far. I know Frankie wouldve wanted to be here last year for your last christmas with us, but we didnt know it was going to be the last. I wish we did. On the other hand, Frankie and Shari are doing really good. Still fighting but not as bad. That will never change because lets be honest, Frankie can be an asshole and Shari is an air head. Oddly enough they compliment eachother. I know he misses you even though he doesnt say it or show it.

Guess what dad.....YOUR GOING TO BE A GRANDPA!!!!!Jess and Franklin told us on christmas! We were so excited! There will finally be a lil one of us running around haha. It is still super early so we cant tell anyone just yet but it is all so exciting. I kno Jess is a lil sad because you wont be here for this experience but she is hanging in there. You wouldve been an amazing grandpa. I just keep picturing you sleeping on the couch with our kids laying on your chest sleeping, just like how you did when we were little. Franklin is a great man and he will be an amazing father. Jess and the baby are in great hands dad, you wont have to worry about them. Franklin is taking really good care of them.

Bri is thinking about going back to school become an OTA. She is so excited about it, I know this would be perfect for her. Im glad that she is finally figuring out what she wants to do with her life. We decided to start working out and eating healthy this new year. I know weve said it so many times before but this is it. We are going to make changes this coming year. I cant imagine doing all this without her. She has been my rock. I am so in love with her dad, I dont even know how to describe it. I really do see myself being with her for the rest of my life. I wish you got to know her like this. But im just happy that you got to meet her and you knew the truth. The main thing was that I wanted you to meet the woman that I love and you did. I plan on to marry her one day, and I wish you could have been there but I will save you a seat up front next to mommy. I know you loved me very much and accepted us being together.

Christmas didnt feel the same at all. I do not think any of us was in the holiday spirit but we all tried to be for Mommy. Mommy over did it with the gifts this year. But she does every year so are you actually surprised by that? I joked around and said that its because you werent here to tell her no haha She misses you so much. I can tell that she was sad to not have you here this year. I invited her to Bri’s family on Christmas eve and she actually came! It look like she had alot of fun, Im just glad that she came out with us instead of being home alone after Aunt Rosaria’s house. Today is New Years Eve and she is spending it with Jessica and Franklin. She was going to stay home alone but I guess they convinced her to go over. I told her that I would stay home with her but she told me not to. I just dont want her to be alone tonight. She is a very strong woman, you married a wonderful person. I honestly dont know where I would be if it was not for her.

Finally, Luigi, Lily and Layla love you. Luigi misses you and still lays down on your recliner and sleeps on your side of the bed. Dont worry Dad, hes keeping Mommy good Company. Still being a pain in the ass ofcourse!

Its crazy. When you were sick, I thought I was okay. I thought that I came to terms with what was going to happen. And I remember sitting around the table with Mommy, frankie, jessica & franklin and we were just talking about it when you were in the hospital. Frankie said that we are okay now but what is really going to hurt is down the line when the significant life moments happen, and your not here to experience it with us. I knew that it was going to hurt but I never knew that these moments would come so soon. Frankie moving out, jessica married and pregnant, Me and bri, going back to college, getting Layla. All of these moments that you should be here for and you are not. That is what hurts the most.

Its going to be a new year and I am still going to hold you very close to my heart. I will continue writing you letters and thinking about you every day. I will continue to take care of this family and be there for them when they need it. I will continue making you proud in every way possible.

I miss you and I love you more than anything.

Love always,

Your little girl

Gabriella xoxo

[therealestatesparkblog]

How One 30-Year-Old Built $40,000/Year Passive Income in a Few Years

When Brady Hanna turned 30, he decided it was time to start building passive income. That was six years ago. Today, he has 12 doors, which gross him around $7,700/month. Granted, thats not all profit. His net profit in a given year? Around $40,000. Thats higher than the median personal income in the United States! Heres exactly what hes done over the last few years, to build that portfolio. In the Beginning I had stumbled across BiggerPockets and started absorbing as much information as possible. I asked questions on the forums and started listening to the podcasts every chance I could, Brady explained to me. How seriously did he take his real estate investing education? I installed a Bluetooth speaker in my shower and bathroom, so I could listen to the podcast when I was taking a shower and getting around in the morning.Over the years, I have listened to every podcast multiple times and get fired up every time I hear a new episode. Thats dedication. For my first property, I wanted to follow all of the things I had learned and was looking for properties that hit the 2% Rule. Now, its worth mentioning that not everyone agrees with following the 2% Rule. I have my own bones to pick with it, but thats another story. Or article. Whatever. Brady located a move-in-ready duplex for sale in Grandview, MO (which is south of Kansas City). Estimating gross rents at $1,100/month, he paid $55,000 for it. To finance it, Brady secured a loan from a local community bank, using money saved from his 9-5 job for the down payment. I put down a 20% down payment and was off and running.

Early Lessons in Property Management I thought I was smarter than the system and figured I would self-manage to save the property managers fees. Any time you catch a case of the smug and think youre beating the system, thats a good time to pause for some good ol fashioned self-reflection. Not that I would ever discourage anyone from managing their own rentalsif theyre prepared to put in the time and learn the skills necessary to do it. Brady advertised the units for rent, then promptly left town for two days for a trade show through his day job. Over those two busy workdays, he received no fewer than 60 phone calls from prospective renters. After the first week of driving out to the property multiple times for showings, I saw a property management company off the side of the highway and quickly pulled over, walked in, and hired them on the spot. Does it strike you that he skipped an important step there? It should. I didnt vet this property management company. I just assumed that since they were close to my rental property, they would do a good job. If youve ever wondered about the first sign that a property management company needs replacing, pay attention here. Communication was a struggle. It was like pulling teeth just getting information out of them and trying to stay in the loop about what was going on with the property. Thats the sound of foreshadowing, for all you non-English majors. Related: Sorry, But Passive Income is a Myth for Most Investors. Heres Why. Property #2, Property #3 After a few months of collecting rents, Brady decided that being a landlord was everything he thought it would be. I took out a $50,000 home equity line of credit (HELOC) against my personal residence, using my local bank. I used $36,000 to buy a single-family property through a short sale in South Kansas City. The property needed $7,000 in repairs. If youve ever bought a property with cash, you know how much easier it is to negotiate a good deal. Better yet, Brady avoided paying hefty hard money loan fees to buy and renovate the property. He knocked out the repairs quickly and rented the house for $850/month. From there, it was simple to secure a long-term mortgage, which he used to pay back his HELOC. House #3 I bought off an online auction website for $23,000 cash (again, using my HELOC). I put $27,000 into the property over a matter of three months. I thought, man, this rental business thing is easy! All Chickens Come Home to Roost If there was ever a cue for something to go wrong, that must be it. Around this time, I started running into a lot of problems with my property management company. Not exactly a plot twist, is it? His out-to-lunch property manager was starting to cost him serious money. A tenant at his original property, the duplex, skipped town in the middle of the night. That left him with two vacant units (out of four), as his most recent property was still under renovation. He called the owner of the property management company and fired them. Armed with firsthand experience that he needed to do a better job screening property managers, he went back to the drawing board. I asked for recommendations on BiggerPockets for a reputable property manager. I interviewed a couple candidates and hired our new property manager a few weeks later and havent turned back. The new company filled his vacant unit in the duplex, then rented his newly-finished single-family for $875. From there, it was a simple matter of getting a mortgage on the property and paying off his HELOC once again.

Building a Portfolio and an Evolving Strategy Brady has used the same strategy to finance the next seven properties in his portfolio: buy and renovate with cash from his HELOC and savings, rent it out, get a mortgage. Or not get a mortgage, if he can help it. Ive taken the income from the rentals and just put it all back into the business, paying down principal on the houses.I now have a total of 12 units, and only have debt on three properties, using this technique. When I asked Brady what hes changed over the last few years, as hes accrued experience, he didnt hesitate. Originally, I invested in B- and C class neighborhoods. They are not in war zones and have relatively low crime; theyre working class neighborhoods. But as my portfolio has grown, Ive been focusing on B+ neighborhoods, as they are less transient and there is less turnover. Why? Because turnovers are ROI-killers, which is why tenant retention is so important for landlords. Related: 3 Real Estate Investing Strategies That Arent So Passive (& 4 That Are) Landlord Cash Cushions I asked Brady what advice and takeaways he would offer for other rental investors. I highly recommend having a reserve fund in place, as you never know when a bad month or couple months is going to hit your portfolio. All too true. It turns out Brady hasnt just paid off most of his mortgage debt, but hes also set aside strong cash reserves. A recent example? He had not one, not two, but three furnaces fail in November. At an average replacement cost of $2,000 apiece, that would have been a desperate blow to someone without a liquid cash cushion. Heres another example: One of our rental properties had a small undetectable leak behind the sink for an extended period of time, causing mold to build up behind the wall. We ended up letting the tenants out of the lease, hiring a mold remediation company who also found asbestos behind the wall, hiring an asbestos abatement company, and then rebuilding the kitchen wall. That set of repairs, which started with a tiny leak, cost Brady$10,800 and four months of lost rents. Final Advice: Network! Brady explained that as the Kansas City real estate market has heated up, hes had to increasingly rely on his network to find deals, rather than the MLS. Go on Facebook, and search for investor groups in your area.In Kansas City alone, there are over five local real estate investor groups that I have joined where people are posting deals all the time at a discount. Network with fellow investors at meetup groups, REI clubs, and talk to people you know about real estate, because you never know where your next deal is going to come from! You know what they sayyour net worth is directly correlated to your network. Grow your network in the real estate industry, and your opportunities will grow right alongside it. What Comes Next In the meantime, Brady is in no rush to retire from his day job. I plan on retiring from my full-time job when I am 50 years old. I enjoy what I do at my job but want to retire when I am still young enough to enjoy being active in my retirement. Any financial targets before then, Brady? I am looking to build a passive income of at least $10,000/month so that I can use my abilities to help others. I plan to take a year off working, spending time with my family, church, fishing, golfing, and working out. Once I am going stir-crazy, I plan on helping others invest in real estate and focus on larger scale real estate investments while spending time helping out in my church. I dont know about you, but I think Bradys onto something here, with this whole invest-in-rentals-and-retire-young, strategy. Were republishing this article to help out our newer readers.

Whats your strategy for building passive income? How are you planning to reach financial independence? Any tips or tidbits to share? Weigh in below! https://www.biggerpockets.com/renewsblog/zero-to-40000-year-passive-income-in-a-few-years