#man in his 90s does what he can to tie up his loose ends | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

e3khatena · 2 months ago

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What're your top 4 favourite games of all time?

I actually pretty recently went through my Top 25 on Twitter but that's mostly a contextless image with no words to it, so I do wanna spend a little more time to highlight my four favorite games (1024 words):

4. Earthbound (SNES, 1995)

Earthbound is a truly superb JRPG, with a kitsch and a camp to it that feels simultaneously cheesily-dated and timeless to boot, with a charisma and world that's ripe for exploration, from a guy who is a master craftsman of compelling stories. This is by far my favorite game to actually play in the SNES' library.

3. Hypnospace Outlaw (PC/XBO/PS4/Switch, 2019)

Back-to-back 90s-flavored games with phenomenal storytelling, Hypnospace Outlaw is a game about playing the moderator of an alternate timeline's niche corner of the Internet. Users on Hypnospace create webpages with their mind so they can hang out and be productive while asleep, and the characters are deeply nuanced with tons of personal details and secrets in tow. It's fun to be an enforcer and track down cases, but it's just as fun to go down the rabbit hole and follow links, and your curious nature is handily rewarded with shortcuts, hacks to be a better enforcer, fun Angelfire/Geocities webpages with MIDIs or ripped MP3s for backing music, and an utterly stellar story of corporate mismanagement, cover-ups, and an attempt to pin this universe's Y2k bug on an innocent kid that makes up the game's final act, a retrospective as you work to archive Hypnospace for modern audiences and tie up any loose ends. Jay Tholen's world is eclectic, surreal, and so oppressively 90s that you *will* listen to their fake Linkin Park on its own long after you play this.

2. Hot Dogs, Horseshoes, & Hand Grenades (PCVR, 2016-)

Rust LTD's range simulator/physics sandbox stands out as one of the defining games in PCVR spaces. Being the brainchild of developer Anton Hand and having been in incredibly active development for eight years, H3VR's dedication to the craft of firearm simulation is matched with a quirky, lighthearted sense of humor that extends into the enemies; sosigs bleed mustard* and say cheesy one-liners or compliment the player before exploding into meat, and Anton's strict adherence to not including real-world human enemies or gore extends to the lore explanation of the seemingly endless number of enemies being a giant meat grinder and casing stuffer that brings units to life. This has pissed off *tons* of fans of other VR FPSes, but I've been long enamored with Anton's realization that what people want from gore (satisfying particles and deformation, cathartic violence) can be done super cheaply and in an approachable manner for all-ages while still maintaining a very strong network of AI pathing and handling systems.

Even if you aren't fighting the enemies, the game's core simulations are still fun to engage with, with lovingly rendered guns that let you see their specific oddities, effectively digitally preserving over 500 firearms, both real and fictional (including a handful of pop cultural pieces like the guns from Robocop, Blade Runner, and Team Fortress 2 in an official collab with Valve) and their inner workings while giving you an expansive sandbox for building scenarios, be they IPSC-style accuracy trials or a simple bed of targets to plink at. Anton still updates this game weekly, working on things like night vision goggles/scopes, thermal cameras, and a Hitman-inspired ImSim mode. Despite this, Anton still does not see the game as a 1.0 finished build, and has plans to continue updating the game for a long while to come.

Cruelty Squad (PC, 2021)

There is no other game like Cruelty Squad, man. Its roots lie in underground artist Ville Kallio, a Finnish creator of the strange, surreal, and visceral. So much of Kallio's art centered around video games and they way they depict and discuss violence, and he took his work to its logical conclusion with an Immersive Sim unlike any other. The visuals are garish, the music is shoddy, the maps are nonsensical with a bizarre fetishization of ad-soaked dystopia, and does a great job of putting you into the headspace of the depressed former Death Squad member Empty Fuck, who finds himself becoming a gig economy worker settling petty corporate disputes for his former boss with the aid of a slew of lethal, stupid weaponry.

For your trouble, you're paid out a pittance, so most of your income has to come from side hustles. Gibbing enemies lets you harvest their organs, which is fantastic for you as modern medicine has made death a thing of the past, stitching cadavers back to life and saddling them with medical debt. If you're not fishing or playing the incredibly volatile stock market that experiences a short squeeze that reaches MOASS levels, you're organ harvesting, which also nets you an opportunity to steal a fallen foe's weapons after you scoop up his liver and kidneys, as you can only get new guns by carrying them out with you on a successful hit. The game takes you to cultist lairs, cushy offices with armed guards, a bombed out nightclub in Helsinki created in the aftermath of a chemical weapons attack to blockbust the district, and straight up to Cruelty Squad HQ to confront the balance of life and death in the world.

Cruelty Squad is truly so beautiful in its unabashed ugliness. The NPCs complain about their life and financial woes while their bosses gamble the extracted value of their labor on buying new yachts, advertisements for the game's brands are everywhere, and though the wealthy bourgeois are free to flaunt their wealth and perversion, the common prole finds themselves in a constant loop of being caught in the crossfire of mass shootings and waking up an instant later with discharge paperwork and a hospital bill. Kallio has made a truly chaotic, bitter, visceral world mirroring our own frustrations with the modern technology and finance sectors, and displays an incredible understanding of game design through all of the design decisions clearly meant to draw the most ire and frustration. It's not an easy game to enjoy, Cruelty Squad. It's difficult with an unfair difficulty curve and some decently bad levels, but my GOD its marriage of Deus Ex and Hitman ImSim sensibilities and a passionate disdain for late-stage Capitalism make it an easy choice for my favorite game of all time.

#hope this is to your liking

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stellar-waves · 3 months ago

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when your heart beats in stereo

. . .

⚠ warnings: 18+ only! explicit language, poorly written flirting, sorta slow-burn, poorly written smut, unprotected p in v, pre-canon, poorly written '90s vibes, first time writing x reader

A/N: This is straight up a fever dream combining two SPF characters in a way, drawing some inspo from fucking Todd Sparrow from the movie Girl, though it's still very much my boy Connor...he's just more into music. Also, I totally fabricated a non-existent record track listing in my head so I could use specific songs to drive the mood. That's why this is fiction, right? I'm just kinda in a "fuck it, just post it" mood, so apologies if this is pretty rough around the edges.

. . .

The brick wall is cold against your back, while your lungs fill with the heat from your cigarette. As you blow out the smoke slowly, you kick your combat boots against the loose gravel along the sidewalk, wondering if you’ll see him today. But let’s be real, you hope you’ll see him today.

That cute Irish boy with the tattoos and piercing sky-blue eyes. You didn’t catch his name, and that’s if he even told you. You had gotten so caught up in talking music with him that any pertinent personal details about each other skipped right along with the needle on that old, overplayed Joy Division record. You really should find another copy of that album that hopefully just sat on the shelf in someone’s basement, forgotten about when the teenager grew out of their post-punk phase and moved on to something more mainstream.

Stamping out the end of your cigarette under your boot, you comb your fingers through your hair and adjust the flannel over your black t-shirt, wiping your hands on your jeans as you walk back inside the store. You have less than an hour left in your shift, since Davy offered to close tonight. And the way he looks at you when you join him at the counter makes you think he knows all about your crush, even though you never explicitly said anything.

“He still has time,” Davy assures, and you shoot your eyes up at him, embarrassment flushing your cheeks instantly. “Relax. It’s pretty obvious,” he teases lightly. “And this way, if he does show up, you can…you know...leave.”

You roll your eyes, trying to suppress the smile as your cheeks burn a bright red. And as you open your mouth for a useless rebuttal, the bell on the door jingles and you quickly look up to see who’s walking in. But you just as quickly divert your attention to the stack of records on the counter in front of you, hopelessly pretending to be immersed in the phony task at hand, because all you need is to look hopeful when he walks in.

Davy whispers out the side of his mouth, “Told you,” and you elbow him just enough to warn him, telling him to just be cool. “Hey man!” he actually has the nerve to call out, and the Irish guy gives a nod to your stupid wingman as his eyes flick in your direction. You haphazardly drop your gaze back to the record stack, your nerves threatening to crawl out of your fingers as you sift through the sleeves. You feel Davy move away from you, so you glance over your shoulder to see what the fuck he’s doing, making sure that he’s not doing anything to embarrass you more than he already has. He had moved over to the turntable to switch the record out, but not without looking at you with raised eyebrows, mouthing “GO” and nodding towards your not-so-secret crush. You make a face at your friend, irritated yet mildly appreciative, and you comb your fingers through your hair again.

With a slow, deep breath, you take off the flannel and tie it around your waist, fully aware of the heat in your face now dispersing into your armpits. It shouldn’t be this nerve-wracking because you’ve flirted with plenty of guys before and found yourself in bed with an aspiring musician here and there, even found yourself making out with the drummer of some rock band from California that had played a show at your favorite dive club.

But something about this guy makes your entire body flutter anxiously.

You move around the counter and carefully walk across the creaky wooden floor into the record section as you hear that famous first track of Unknown Pleasures resonate from the stereo. Despite the insane number of times you’ve heard this song and this album in its entirety, it still makes your sonic heart beat a little deeper. And whenever you tell someone that music saved your life, this is one of the albums you’re talking about.

The Irish boy combs through the records, studying the titles that you’ve meticulously sorted in alphabetical order by artist and then by album. With his eyes still cast down, he reaches up with his left hand to tuck his long-ish hair behind his ear, only for the golden brown strands to prove to be still too short to stay in place as they fall back into his face. You notice the tattoo on his hand again, the serif lettering reading VERITAS. You don’t remember his name, but you do remember him telling you that it means truth in Latin, his surprisingly shy smile having burned the memory into your brain.

You hesitate as you walk toward the rock and alternative LPs, trying to summon the courage to engage in conversation with him. You’ve done it before, surely you can do it again. Why this time feels more real though, you don’t know.

He glances up, noticing you move to the opposite side of the racks, and looks back at the record he’s stopped on. He pulls it out, looking over the cover art before flipping it over. His lips purse a little as he reads the track listing, and you can’t help looking at the way his dark-grey unbuttoned shirt lays over his shoulders and flows loosely over his torso. The deep blue t-shirt underneath clings tight to his chest, the jeweled hue contrasting the brightly colored collection of record labels lining the wall behind him.

And then you remember, he’s still a customer, so that’s how you start the conversation. “Finding everything okay?”

His eyes draw up with a polite smile and he nods, returning the record back into place. “Aye. Just browsing a bit.” Good God, you forgot how much you love his accent as it sends a heat up your spine. “Anything spark yer ears, lately?” he asks with his eyes still focused on the records he’s flipping through.

Your mind goes blank, wanting to find just the right answer to his question so he can think you’re this cool audiophile chick with obscure music recommendations that no one else can give him. Why else would you work in a record store? That’s who you are! But your mind still draws a blank, forgetting all of the bands and songs you love.

He lifts his chin and raises his eyebrows at you. “Nothing?”

You shake your head, attempting to bury the self-doubt with the confidence of someone else. Be that cool chick for him. “No, it’s just…I don’t know where to even begin. There’s so much that I’m digging lately.” There. That answer seems to satisfy him.

He looks around, listening, and turns back to you with playfully narrowed eyes. “Ye sure seem to love Joy Division…”

You blush. What if he actually hates their music? What if you’ve been reading him wrong this whole time? What if…

“I mean, ye lot play this record quite often,” he clarifies, gesturing that he was referring to everyone who works in the store, that he wasn’t singling you out.

Your cheeks are still pink, but you exhale with relief. “Yeah, I mean, it’s a classic. And it is one of my favorites, actually.”

He nods with his lips pressed together, his smile reserved and understanding. “Myself as well,” he states so simply before lowering his attention back to thumbing through the records.

You sigh unconsciously, and he looks up at you, his hair falling into his eyes as he blinks slowly. A soft chuckle escapes off his tongue and his mouth hangs open ever so slightly. The corners of his lips twitch up, fighting a smile, and you can’t help but feel annoyed. You want to see his bright, lopsided smile. But he holds back, almost afraid of coming across as laughing at you. Funny enough, you’d be okay with that, that you made him smile.

Biting your lip, you start sorting through the records in front of you, feeling yourself wanting to tell him everything. You tuck a lock of your hair behind your ear, feeling how hot your cartilage is from the intense attraction you feel toward this known stranger. “New piercing?” You look up and see him eyeing your ear and the silver jewelry decorating it. You give him a questioning look, and he adds, “Looks fresh with how red it is, that’s all.” It’s not. You’ve had that piercing for a couple of years. So he’s not that observant, oh well. Maybe he has a tattoo that you haven’t really noticed before…probably hiding under his clothes…

You wave him off, trying to mask the real reason for your ear’s bright color. “Oh, it’s nothing. It’s fine.” You go back to your fake task and find an album out of place, fixing the error nonchalantly as you feel his eyes still on you. You look at him, almost giddy. “What?”

“Well, it’s just that…I like yer nose ring,” he confesses, that smile finally crawling up the side of his slightly scruffy face. God fucking damn it.

And the words leave your lips before you have the sense to stop them. “I like your smile.” SHIT.

You try to ignore the sounds of Ian Curtis’ voice repeating “I’m not afraid anymore” on the old speakers, especially as those Irish-blue eyes glow in the late afternoon light coming through the wall of windows. You’re fucking terrified.

He grins, and holds up another record, showing you the cover. “Ye like this one?”

Your voice now fails you, forcing you to nod like an idiot. And somehow his smile grows into a joy you haven’t seen before. “Brilliant. I’ll take it. Don’t have a turntable at home, but that’s—”

“Wait,” you stupidly interrupt him. “You don’t have a turntable? Then why…” you stop yourself, realizing it’s a stupid question to even consider. Like, who are you to judge people buying records without a way of playing them?

But there’s that smile again, and he walks around to your side of the racks, handing the record to you. “Ye do have cassettes, CDs…” he teases, leaning his hand against the back of the display, his fit body fully facing you on your left. “And just because I don’t have a turntable now, doesn’t mean…”

You clinch your eyes shut, wholeheartedly ashamed for being so dense. “No, I’m sorry, I just…I wasn’t thinking, that’s all.”

“S’alright, lass.” He takes a step closer, reaching around your arm with his tattooed hand to take the record from you. You can feel the heat radiating from his body, feel his chest brush against your shoulder as he studies the track listing again. “And there are other reasons I come in here, ye know,” he concedes gently, his eyes still directed at the record sleeve, and you swear you see his cheeks blushing against his tanned skin.

“Well, if you want…I have a turntable at my place…”

He slowly brings his focus back to you, locking his blue eyes with yours. “Is that so?” his accent drags out seductively.

Go. “And I get off at 5 so…”

He looks over your shoulder at the clock by the counter at the back of the store. “It’s 5:15.”

Your mouth falls open slightly. And any residual self-doubt dissolves into desire. “Let me just get my bag from the back,” you explain.

He gestures toward Davy with the record. “Right, gives me a chance to pay for this.”

He follows you to the back of the store, stopping at the register as you move behind it to grab your stuff. You ignore Davy’s “told you so” smile as he rings up the LP, mentioning your name as he acknowledges your help.

The Irish guy shifts his eyes to you, grinning, and repeats your name a little slower. “Aye, she did.” He blinks and quickly diverts his attention back to your co-worker, offering a handshake as he introduces himself, “Name’s Connor.” He adds with a laugh, “My mother would have my head if I didn’t properly introduce myself.” Maybe he realized you both had forgotten each other’s names…or that you two never really shared that bit of information in the first place. Maybe Davy was helping to remedy that.

Whatever it was, you’re grateful for it. Connor. Mystery Irishman finally has a name.

You look back to Davy as you slip your flannel shirt back on and adjust your messenger bag on your shoulder. “See you tomorrow?”

Davy winks at you and grins. “Yeah, see ya. Nice meeting you, man!”

You walk around the counter and Connor follows close as he says goodbye. His hand brushes against the small of your back, sending a hot shiver back up your spine. You were never really a “girly-girl,” but that’s one guy move that makes you weak in the knees and ready to be the damsel in distress. Connor keeps his hand there as you walk out of the store and the cool spring air breezes against you. He slides his fingers lightly along your waist, running them down your sleeve before linking his fingers between yours. Another rom-com move that makes you feel so tingly and giddy. This guy can’t be real.

He lifts your hand to his lips, and he kisses your knuckles softly. His mouth is warm against your skin, and you forget to breathe. “I’m just uh…my place is just a couple more blocks,” you trip over your words, reminding both of you that it won’t be much longer. Connor smiles against your intertwined hands, lowering your arm and letting go. A brief touch of disappointment registers on your face, but he almost instantly wraps his arm around your shoulders instead, pulling you closer to him as you try not to trip over your feet.

You reach the intersection where you have to turn right, and as the light turns green for your direction, Connor slides around behind you, draping his other arm over your shoulders so he’s properly walking on the outside. Another gentleman move that breaks you. Part of you can’t help wondering if the two of you look like a ’90s version of Bob Dylan and Suze Rotolo from that Freewheelin’ album as you walk down the street…pierced and tattooed, but smitten just the same.

Connor’s hand lightly finds its way to the small of your back again as the two of you reach your apartment. Your hands shake a little as you unlock the door, suddenly remembering that your place might be an absolute mess. But much to your surprise and relief, your apartment looks more put together than usual. You thank your past self for anticipating this moment subconsciously, surely knowing that you’d be bringing your Irish crush home eventually.

Your place isn’t much, but it’s cozy. A quaint studio apartment with a few band posters decorating the walls, mixed with your brightly colored abstract paintings from art school. You flip on a couple of lamps, their vibrant patterned shades helping to cast a saturated glow around your space. Connor hands you his new record and you prep it on the vintage turntable. So many records played on this over the years, both through the large cabinet speakers and through your headphones with the obnoxiously long cable.

As you set the needle in place along the grooves in the vinyl, you drop your shoulders as the music fades in.

Connor watches you for a moment, but then loses his attention to one of your paintings—specifically the one hanging between the Joy Division and New Order posters. You bite your lip, holding your breath as you’re afraid he’ll find out why you painted that particular composition. He looks back at you over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow. “Ye painted this, yeah?”

Fuck. He knows. Your ears burn red as your nerves start to get the best of you. “I did.”

“It’s beautiful.” His comment is sweet and well-intentioned, but definitely vague enough to tell you he doesn’t know much about contemporary art. “Reminds me of a heartbeat.” Now your eyebrow arches up curiously, confused by his interpretation as the brushstrokes don’t exactly resemble an EKG reading. “Just how the red repeats itself here.”

A smile grows on your lips, and you admit, “That’s actually where I tapped the brush on the canvas to the beat of the song I was listening to.”

“What song?”

Your mouth twists with hesitation, but you tell him the truth. “This song, actually.”

Connor looks at his feet, listening to the sounds of New Order vibrate through the speakers. He brings his eyes back to yours as the chorus climaxes again, the lyrics singing, “Heaven knows it’s got to be this time,” as you and Connor crash into a passionate kiss.

His tongue dances around yours, his lips soft as he tastes you. You grab the back of his neck, your fingers threading into his hair while you twist his shirt in your other hand. His body is hot against yours as he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into him until you’re melting together.

You breathe against his mouth as he shrugs off his button-down shirt. Your hands instinctively run along his arms, feeling the toned muscles that were criminally hidden until now. Connor pulls back, and those God damn blue eyes break you. He holds your face, rubbing his thumbs across your cheeks tenderly before capturing your lips again.

He just had to get this album. He just had to be him.

You tug his t-shirt over his head, exposing his chiseled chest to your delight. Your hands graze across his pecs and down his abs, letting your fingers run along his adonis belt as you feel him shiver with anticipation. You work your way to his belt, undoing it clumsily while his tongue traces your lips and down your jawline. His hands slide into your hair, holding the back of your head as you manage to unbutton his jeans. But he interrupts your progress by running his hands down the sides of your torso, lifting both your flannel and t-shirt off in one swift movement.

His eyes drop to stare at your breasts heaving under the black bra, and you pull him by the loosened waistband of his jeans, pressing your body hard into his. Connor dips his head, burying his face into your chest until he successfully unhooks your bra without you realizing it. He instantly takes one of your nipples into his mouth, his fingers playing with the other one as you comb your hands through his hair. You let your fingertips graze behind his ear, then down his neck as he moves his mouth to your other breast. The sensation coaxes a moan from your throat, and you exhale his name.

The music keeps playing, beats made for dancing instead of…this. Connor lowers himself more, bending a knee against the floor as he undoes your jeans, wiggling them off your hips and pulling your wet underwear down. You watch him as he flicks his eyes back up to yours, that damn blue gaze holding you under his lashes. He presses his lips to your mound, still staring at you while he holds your hips. His tattooed hand slides over your skin and follows the curve of your body until it finds its way between your legs, feeling the effect he has on you glide over his hand. Your cunt pulsates hard as his tongue teases your clit, knowing his touch is absolutely electric.

This cocky Irish fucker.

He feels your legs are about to give out, but you can’t help the pout of disappointment coating your face as he stands up. That is, until his jeans fall to the floor as a result. You reach for the elastic of his boxers, his large, hard cock straining against the fabric. As you free him, he wraps an arm under your ass and lifts you up with his other arm holding you steady. You tangle your legs around his naked body as he carries you to your bed. You anticipate he’s going to lay you down first, so when he turns and sits down on the edge of the mattress, your skin tingles at the thought of him under you. He’s still holding onto you, his hand squeezing your ass as you grab his face.

You kiss him slow, savoring this moment that feels like it was made just for the two of you. His hardness twitches again, leaking with precum as it lifts toward your dripping pussy and tickling your clit with the hottest tease you’ve ever felt. His hands caress the small of your back, and you’re fucking sent.

A loud gasp escapes you. You claw at his shoulders, pressing your body hard into him as he buries his face against your chest again, his palms splayed against the side of your torso as his thumbs rub the stretch of skin from your underarms to your breasts. You hold the back of Connor’s head as he runs his tongue along your sternum. The heat of your cunt in his lap sends a shiver up your back, forcing you to arch into him as he drags his lips into your cleavage. Your fingers tighten in his hair, and you finally open your eyes to see his staring back at you wildly. He straightens his back, bringing his face to meet yours quickly and swallowing your lips between his.

He breathes into you as you grind your hips against him, rubbing your clit against his cock until you raise up and lower yourself onto him with a tight thrust. God, he feels so fucking good inside you. Your walls squeeze around him as you shift against his thighs. Connor exhales deeply, slowly, erotically. You smile as you ride him, holding his face with both hands and staring into each other’s eyes as you fuck him. He reluctantly throws a hand behind him to steady himself and maintain his seated position, his other hand still holding your back as every glorious inch of him fills you. You close your eyes momentarily, seeing and somehow feeling stars when his cock swells deep inside.

Your name falls out of his mouth with whatever air remains in his lungs, until he inhales sharply through his teeth and grabs at your shoulder blades. You feel your pulses sync up, both of your hearts beating in stereo.

Connor falls back, pulling you down with him, your bodies still connected as one. You drag one knee up beside his hip, while your other leg straightens down the length of his body. You twist yourself around his cock just enough to make him shiver and tremble under you. He rubs his palms around your ribcage, massaging your breasts as his cock grows even harder.

For all of the times you’ve dreamt about this moment, all of the times you’ve pleasured yourself thinking about him, nothing can compare to what’s happening, what you’re feeling now.

You lift off of him slightly, dragging your fingertips over his collarbone, down his chest, and across the lines in his abs before digging your nails into his waist. You sit up more, gasping at the way his cock traces inside you, every nerve catching on fire as you then feel his hand reach up and hold your face. He cups your jaw, sliding his hand down your neck slightly while you milk him for everything he’s worth.

His hands find yours, intertwining your fingers and holding you steady as you lean back down. You press your breasts against his sweat-slicked chest as he pulls your joined hands behind his head, stretching your arms as his throbbing cock stretches more inside you. Your hips dance together, and you wonder how you can stay like this forever, connected in a rhythm only the two of you can understand.

Connor’s hips meet yours again, and he hits that spot, sending a sonic wave throughout your body. You feel yourself shake from the overstimulation while his cock keeps pounding into you. You fight to keep your eyes open, because you need to keep staring into Connor’s as your orgasm completely overtakes you. You explode around him, swearing his name as you drip all over his length.

His hands release yours as you collapse against his chest, unable to hold yourself up any longer as the edges of everything blur. One hand grabs your hip and the other slides into your hair, holding your head against his shoulder as he rolls you onto your back. His cock refuses to slip from inside you as he braces himself over you. Connor brushes your hair from your face with that longing blue gaze determined to stop time and space with you…for you.

He kisses you, swirling his tongue around yours as your walls beat against his pulsating cock in time with the song “Elegia” crescendoing from the speakers. He moans into your mouth, and you feel him hit that spot again. You know you can’t stop it, the sheer euphoria that Connor resolves to make you feel. You shudder with sinful delight, and he tightens his hand around your hip, slamming back into you, the minor chords wrapping around your connected bodies. He holds himself there, his cock deep inside your core, your hips clenched against his, and his mouth hovering over yours as you lose yourself in ecstasy from the slightest movements. You almost growl as you come all over him, your juices seeping between your skin pressed against his. Connor’s entire body locks up as he releases himself, filling you with that toe-curling warmth of pleasure.

His now-flacid cock slowly slides from your cunt, dragging an aftershock orgasm out of you, leaving you to believe that nothing else matters…all that matters is this feeling. His breath begins to steady against your neck, and you feel his heartbeat against yours. Nothing else matters.

You feel his weight sink into the space next to you, his limbs draping over you unconsciously yet protectively. He shifts onto his side, his tattooed hand resting against your chest as you slow your breathing more. The room falls quiet, the subtle sound of the needle reaching the end of the record somehow matching the rhythm of your breaths. You close your eyes, the feeling of Connor touching you leaving you feeling content.

“Fuck,” you exhale. His moan of agreement channels through his hand and into your skin. Your hand finds his, your fingers playing with his half-heartedly. You run the tip of your middle finger along his knuckles, stroking each finger up and down until you reach his index finger. Though you can’t feel the tattooed word, you keep grazing your finger over the letters—veritas.

Suddenly, your eyes are thrown back open as he pulls his hand away, and you watch his glistening naked body stand up and move across the room. Panic seeps into your brain as you fumble for the blanket to pull over you, thinking he’s already working on leaving now that he fucked you. But he strides over to the turntable, his cock swaying between his legs as he gently lifts the needle off the record. He looks back at you, that sly smile curling his lips up his face as he walks back to the bed.

Your shoulders drop with relief as he climbs back onto the mattress, reaching to the table next to you for your pack of cigarettes. He pulls one out, along with your bright yellow BIC light, lighting it once it’s placed between his lips. A couple of drags, and he offers it to you. You inhale a bit too quickly though, realizing you’re still distracted by the naked Irishman sitting with you. You blink, watching his well-endowed cock stiffen slightly as he traces his fingertips along your leg.

“Ye know…” he starts, his accent low and smooth as you hand the cigarette back to him, “maybe I’ll just leave that record here.” Your heart skips a beat at the suggestion, knowing full-well what he’s alluding to. “And I have some other records I could bring over…”

You bite your lip, grinning as he smiles widely back to you. “You’re never getting a turntable of your own, are you?”

Connor shrugs, his eyes creasing playfully as he starts to giggle. He leans in, curling his veritas finger under your chin and guiding your mouth to touch his. “Heaven knows, lass,” he hums against your lips. And your heart beats in stereo all over again as you kiss him.

. . .

#connor macmanus x reader #boondock saints fanfic #connor macmanus #the boondock saints #boondock saints #sean patrick flanery #fanfic #waves of stories

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waitimcomingtoo · 4 years ago

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My Youth is Yours 2

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

synopsis: in a world where you don’t begin to age until you meet your soulmate, Tom notices you started aging when he hasn’t

part one

Masterlist

“Are you almost ready to go babe?” You called up the stairs as you put your earrings in.

“Ready.” Tom smiled at you as he came down the stairs. He cupped your chin between his fingers and kissed your before handing you his tie.

“I’m excited to meet all your coworkers.” Tom grinned as you tied his tie around his neck.

“Me too.” You smiled as you tightened the tie. “I’m kinda glad I didn’t quit. It’s gotten a lot better since Chris joined.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Tom rolled his eyes playfully and you laughed. “I don’t want to hear about your work husband. We’re already going to be late.”

“Just teasing.” You fixed his collar and kissed his cheek. “Let’s go.”

As soon as you and Tom walked into the office, Chris caught your eye. He stared you and Tom down as you made your way through the crowd and greeted your coworkers.

After about an hour, you were alone at a table when Chris finally approached you.

“Hey.” You smiled at him as you put your drink down. “Are you enjoying your first office party?”

“Can we talk?” Chris ignored your question, looking rather stressed.

“Yeah, sure.” You nodded and followed him to a quiet corner.

“What’s up?” You asked once you were alone.

“Your boyfriend is not 24.” Chris said, causing your face to go pale.

“What?” You laughed nervously. “Yes he is. What are you talking about?”

“That man is 18 years old. Look at him!” Chris harshly pointed to Tom. “Does he look 24 to you?”

“What are you trying to say?” You narrowed your eyes at him. Chris looked around for who might be listening and leaned in closer.

“I don’t want to upset you, but I don’t think Tom is your soulmate.” He whispered, making your heart stop.

“I have to go.” You said quickly and tried to leave. Chris gently grabbed your arm to keep you there.

“Wait.” He pleaded. “Here me out.”

“I have no interest in hearing you out. Let me go, please.” You pulled your arm out of his grasp and turned to leave again.

“I can’t. You’re not supposed to be with him.” He said a little louder, making you freeze in place.

“Why do you care?” You asked as you whipped around.

“Normally I wouldn’t, but I think you’re supposed to be with me.” Chris said, and you felt the air get knocked out of your body. This was something you had suspected, but you ignored for your relationships sake. Now Chris had figured it out and your cover was blown.

“What?” You played dumb and walked back to him.

“I didn’t start aging until I met you.” He whispered. “And you looked 18 when we met.”

You didn’t want to lie to him, so you didn’t say anything. He was right, after all, so you hung your head in shame.

“Oh my God.” He realized. “You knew, didn’t you? You knew it was me.”

“Keep your voice down.” You whispered harshly as you looked for Tom. You sighed in relief when you saw he was still busy at the bar.

“We both started aging once we met.” He repeated. “This isn’t a coincidence.”

“Maybe not.” You shrugged. “But I love Tom. I’m supposed to be with Tom.”

“You want to be with Tom.” He corrected. “But you and I both know he is not your soulmate. And I bet he knows it too.”

“He does.” You sheepishly confirmed.

“This is not how this works.” Chris grew emotional. “You can’t play at and loose with the rules. You start aging once you meet your soulmate so the two of you can grow old together. Tom isn’t aging. Whats gonna happen when you’re 90 and he’s still 18? He is wasting his time by not looking for his soulmate. Meanwhile, you met your soulmate and you’re turning him down.”

“I don’t care if he’s not my soulmate.” You stated. “I still love him. And I don’t love you.”

Chris was taken aback by your bluntness and you felt a pang of guilt. You cleared your throat and fixed your hair to distract from the awkward tension you created.

“This isn’t fair.” He shook his head. “You’re my soulmate. Why does he get you? He has his own soulmate.”

“Tom doesn’t get me.” You said sharply. “I’m not a freaking trophy. I love him and I am choosing to be with him. I don’t care if it’s not fates design.”

“But I do.” Chris shot back. “Am I supposed to end up alone now?”

“Frankly, I don’t care what you do.” You said simply. “I already met the love of my life. Your love life doesn’t concern me.”

“You are my love life. This isn’t fair.” He repeated.

“Yeah?” You raised your eyebrows. “Well I don’t think it’s fair that my best friend from childhood is supposed to end up with someone else. And if we asked Tom right now, he wouldn’t think it’s fair that I’m supposed to end up with you.”

“He’s coming over here now.” Chris stared at something behind you. “Let’s ask him, shall we?”

“Don’t you dare.” You said through gritted teeth.

“Hi darling.” Tom came behind you and put his hand on the small of your back. “Hi, Chris, right?”

“Yeah.” Chris said blankly. “It’s great to meet you. Y/n talks about you all the time.”

You didn’t take your eyes off Chris, silently begging him not to say anything.

“Are you okay, love?” Tom asked once he noticed the ghastly look on your face.

“You want to tell him or should I?” Chris half smirked.

“Tell me what?” Tom looked between the two of you in growing confusion.

“You have no right.” Your voice wavered as tears came to your eyes.

“What’s going on?” Tom demanded. “What were you guys talking about?”

“Chris-“

“Y/n and I are soulmates.” Chris cut you off as his eyes shot daggers at Tom. Toms face shifted in surprise as he looked at you.

“What?” He asked softly. You took his face between your hands so all he could see was you.

“This doesn’t change how I feel about you Tom.” You assured him. “I told you, you’re the one that I want. This doesn’t have to change anything.”

“Did you know it was him?” Tom asked quietly, feeling slightly awkward since Chris was just a few feet away.

“I suspected it.” You admitted, and Tom pulled away from you.

“And you didn’t tell me?” He asked bitterly.

“I didn’t know for certain.” You said apologetically. “And it didn’t matter to me anyway. I still wanted to be with you.”

“How do you feel about all of this?” Tom turned to Chris suddenly.

“I feel betrayed by the woman who’s soul was cut from the same fabric as mine.” Chris said as he kept his eyes on you. “And I feel like I’m not getting whats rightfully mine.”

“Watch your mouth.” Tom snapped and stepped up to Chris. “Y/n is not rightfully yours. She is not a trophy that you won.”

You gave Chris a knowing look over Toms shoulder, since you gave the same argument. Chris stared at you as his jaw tightened before returning his attention to Tom.

“Shes my soulmate.” Chris growled as he pushed Tom. “Not yours.”

“But she loves me.” Tom half smirked as he pushed him back. “Not you.”

Chris raised a fist as if he was about to hit Tom, so you quickly pulled Tom away.

“Don’t.” You held up a hand. “Fighting isn’t going to solve this.”

“Do you care about what you’re doing?” Chris pointed an angry finger at Tom. “You’re leaving me and your soulmate to die alone.”

“But I wouldn’t love her. I already love Y/n.” Tom answered. “Isn’t it better to be alone than unloved?”

“That’s how I’m living right now, and it’s not better.” Chris seethed.

“I’m sorry about that.” Tom apologized as he calmed down. “But Y/n and I love each other. We always have.”

“I love her too.” Chris pointed to himself.

“We can still be friends.” You suggested. “We’ll still age together and-“

“I can’t be your friend knowing what we know.” Chris cut you off. “You and I are meant to be. How do you think this makes me feel? I was handmade for you, and you still don’t want me.”

You sighed as the guilt fully set in. In the excitement of finally getting together with Tom, you never considered your soulmates feelings.

“I’m sorry, Chris. I really am.” You told him. “But this is not about you. No matter who my soulmate was, I would’ve picked Tom.”

“Well I hope you’re happy.” He nodded in defeat. “I hope the two of you are just thrilled.”

“I’m sorry-“

“Don’t.” He interrupted. “I’m not gonna stand by and watch you with another man. I quit. Effective immediately.”

Chris walked away from you and Tom and went straight out the door. You watched him as he left with a sick feeling in your tummy. Even if you didn’t love him, you were meant to have some sort of relationship with him. You never wanted it hurt him, you just never wanted to be his soulmate.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” You sighed and turned to Tom. “I didn’t know he was going to react like that.”

“It’s all right.” Tom rubbed your arm soothingly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” You nodded and pulled him into a hug. “I just feel guilty. He deserves to be loved.”

“He will be.” Tom pulled away and kissed your forehead. “Just not by you.”

You stayed in his arms for a moment, letting his embrace comfort you.

“This might be a bad time” ,Tom cleared his throat and pulled away to look at you, “but I met my soulmate too.”

“What?” You blinked in confusion. “Who?”

“Her name is Este. She was just hired at the gym I go to. Look.” Tom put his head down and showed you a silver hair that had grown near his part. “She grew one too. She showed me.”

“Oh.” You said quietly. “Do you…do you like her?”

“She’s really nice and hates playing by the rules just as much as I do.” Tom smiled cheekily. “In fact, she invited us to dinner at her girlfriends place next week.”

“Girlfriend?” A smiled tugged at your lips.

“Yeah. I don’t think fate accounted for falling in love on your own free will.” Tom chuckled. “She really must be my soulmate, since we have so much in common. We both fell in love with our best friends and have no interest in dating the other.”

You let out a laugh at how funny fate could be and cupped Toms face.

“I can’t wait to meet her.” You smiled happily before kissing him. Your smiled faded once you pulled away when you remembered the problem wasn’t solved on all sides.

“What are we going to do about Chris?” You asked quietly as you chewed your lip.

“I don’t know.” Tom shrugged. “Este is my soulmate, but in a platonic way. Maybe you and Chris are just meant to be friends.”

“I don’t think he sees it that way.” You sighed. “He just quit to stay away from me.”

“If he’s anything like me, he won’t be able to stay away too long.” Tom cupped your chin. “He’ll come around.”

“I hope.” You nodded. “I feel so guilty.”

Tom got quiet for a moment and shifted his weight between his feet.

“If you wanted to explore things with Chris, I won’t stop you.” He said slowly. “I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life wondering if you were really supposed to be with him. I love you enough to let you walk away.”

You gave Tom a soft smile and pulled him into another kiss to thank him for what he was offering.

“I don’t need to explore.” You said against his lips. “I’m right where I’m supposed to be.”

Tag List 🏷

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solohux · 4 years ago

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happy 2021! i really hope we all have a better year this year but for now, here’s a list of my favourite kylo/hux fics that were published in 2020, ones that got me through days of lonliness and sadness to make me smile ✧

thank you fic writers of the kylux fandom! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

- keep in the dark (to stay out of the light) by howlingshame Modern AU. Smuggler Kylo Ren runs afoul of Armitage Hux, head of the First Order crime ring. Instead of killing him outright, Hux decides to keep him for his own instead. Kylo is none too thrilled with the situation, but Hux has plenty of patience. He wants Kylo to be his in every sense of the word, and they've got all the time in the world. [E, 247k words, warnings for violence, stockholm syndrome, sub kylo & dom hux]

- Please Remember I Love You by @bumblebae8 After murdering Snoke, Kylo Ren flees alongside Rey, returning to the Reistance and to his mother after ten years. They at once begin strategizing on how to take down the corrupt and evil First Order. [M, 65k words, no warnings, redeemed ben, skywalker family drama]

- Children of War by @starryartemis After a complicated diplomatic mission went awry, General Hux and Kylo Ren accidentally find themselves tasked with their most difficult mission: becoming parents. Despite their complex relationship, they both agree that raising an offspring will help bring glory to the First Order. Their original vision of a united family quickly falls apart as Hux and Ren cannot see eye to eye in what they want the future to hold. [E, 162k words, warnings for violence, kylux science babies, slow burn]

- I Should Live in Salt for Leaving You Behind by Asrael_Valtiri Of course, he’d betrayed Ren, to save the Order. To save himself and his people.To try to save Ren, in a way.Strange, Hux thought, closing his eyes against the glare of the overhead lighting. He pretended that the wetness escaping the corner of his eye was from the brightness. He failed.Stupid, he amended. Stupid, Armitage. [E, 65k words, no warnings, a TROS fix-it, kylo clones]

- Against All Odds by Kittens Kylo really doesn't care for people, but he'll always help an animal in need. When he sees a dog covered in mud on a cold, rainy day, he can't help but try to help. What he didn't expect was for the dog to be a fox and the fox to be a man. [E, 49k words, warnings for violence, modern au, fox hux]

- Hadopelagic by DustOnBothSides [WIP] After a life of staying pharmaceutically heat-free, Hux has to allow his body to go through at least one natural cycle, lest there be consequences. He takes a shore leave and travels to a former omegan retreat, abandoned and all but forgotten after the fall of Old Republic. Ren, not knowing of Hux's predicament, decides to follow, suspecting treason. He finds something else instead. [E, 33k words, omega hux & alpha kylo]

- Sup From My Mouth by @atlinmerrick [Kylux Adjacent] Dolly Oblonskaya never precisely introduces her old friend to her children’s new tutor, no. She does put one lonely man in a room with the other again and again and again...and to her delight Konstantin Levin and Francisco Garupe take care of the rest. Or, this is the story of how an idealistic young Russian aristocrat helps heal a mourning young Jesuit priest, one very cold Moscow winter. [E, 58k words, no warnings, Fransisco Garupe/Konstantin Levin]

- Lighting the Fuse by hey_honey "What is going on?" Phasma asked when Hux returned from his meeting with Leia looking pale. He stared at her. "The Queen's son agreed to marry a First Order official on one condition," he said. "And?" Phasma encouraged. "That official has to be me," he said. [E, 30k words, no warnings, omega ben & alpha armitage, mpreg, ben is ruler of naboo]

- Across the Stars, I am Home by @venetumdrabbler [WIP] Before leaving to go undercover in the First Order, Armitage Hux had made promises. Keep an eye and report when able to the republic, and later the resistance. Keep tabs on the dark force user Snoke. And most important of all: Bring Ben Solo home. So far Hux had managed, or was managing, 2 out 3. Then there is an awakening. [M, 42k words, no warnings, jedi armitage au, slow burn]

- Pro Nobis Solum by CarelessHux (AraSigyrn) Kylo Ren wakes after Starkiller. Alone. [M, 8k words, no warnings, post tfa au, established relationship]

- sisyphus rolls his boulder to the top by yogurtgun While trying to convince Rey to turn to the Dark on the Steadfast, Kylo feels Hux's presence in the Force disappear. [T, 6.7k words, warnings for violence, tros fix-it, temporary character death]

- i can make your dreams come by claquesous It feels like the small hours of the morning, the blurry in-between Hux calls early and Kylo calls late. “Can’t even make it through the night without a pillow to hump, can you?” Hux sneers. [E, 3k words, no warnings, somnophilia, sub kylo & dom hux]

- Knot Finished by Ki_Ken_Tai_Ichi Kylo learns a bit more about Arkanis physiology through practical demonstrations. [E, 2k words, no warnings, hux is alien, top hux & bottom kylo]

- 90 Day Fiancé by @bostarsky & @sunnywritesstuff “Maybe that means you’ll be more inclined to choose me,” Hux hints, glancing over at a drone buzzing by with a sneaky look on his face. Perfect, he’ll create as much support for himself with the public as possible. "What I choose doesn’t matter,” he croons, making it sound as romantic as he possibly can to hide the true meaning of the words. [E, 38.5k words, no warnings, alpha hux & omega kylo, kylo amidala, creepy snoke]

- What if We Tried Again? by @penpenhooray Perhaps, but did Pryde bother to check if he was actually dead?Armitage Hux may be many things, but a fool was not one of them. So rather than stay with the First Order and watch it burn, Hux decides that faking his death would be preferable, leaving him free to tie up his one loose end. His ex-husband, Kylo Ren. But what happens when Ren...isn't quite Ren anymore, but just as "dead" as Hux? What happens if they face their feelings surrounding their failed marriage? What if they dared to try again? [T, 2.7k words, no warnings, tros fix-it, mpreg & miscarriage]

- Where Do You Go When You're Lonely? by @vadianna Fresh off a grueling undercover mission on an unpleasant Outer Rim planet, Kylo Ren wants to eat, drink, and sleep. Unfortunately, Hux is sitting at the only bar in the area. Thinking that Hux is there to brief him, Kylo soon realizes that Hux is off-duty, and has also never seen him without his helmet on. Things escalate, and the two wind up finishing Kylo's mission together as they both get to know each other. [E, 29.3k words, no warnings, false identity, bottom kylo & top hux]

- Team Hux or Team Ren? by AdamJensens General Hux overhears a conversation between stormtroopers that opens his eyes to a competition between the troops of the First Order. He discovers his subordinates are not only loyal and devoted but also obsessed – Hux has fans. So does Kylo Ren, and there's a kind of war going on between the two groups calling themselves Team Hux and Team Ren. What Hux doesn't know yet is that there's a third group solely focused on shipping the two co–commanders. There's fanfiction, fanart and all kinds of crazy theories. Shipping, as Hux will soon discover, is a serious business. [E, 11.5k words, no warnings, crack treated seriously, mutual pining]

- Under Covers of Darkness by Camellia Cook (thekurosakiconundrum) Alpha twins Ben and Kylo have a somewhat unusual arrangement with their mate Hux: they're together, all three of them, and it's not strictly a Hux-in-the-middle situation. [E, 3.3k words, no warnings, threesome, sibling incest alpha ben & alpha kylo & omega hux]

- Share the Load by @emperorsvornskr Hux runs into Kylo while dealing with his unique Arkanan biology- and Kylo is dealing with some self confidence issues. It's a match tailor made for the both of them. [E, 6.1k words, no warnings, alien armitage hux, trans kylo, eggs]

- Safety in his arms by @redcole Kylo knows it's time to bond with Hux, he just wants to make sure that his intentions are clear. After all, it isn't often that an omega courts an alpha. [M, 3.2k words, no warnings, omega kylo & alpha hux, mpreg]

- Horny Hearts by @rattlesnake777 [Kylux Adjacent] Techie has a new flatmate called Matt and all he can really think about is doing it with him... [E, 18.3k words, no warnings, Clan Techie/Matt The Radar Tech, modern au, misunderstandings]

- Collars and Kisses by koi_boi Kylo loves his little fox and has missed him dearly after a long mission away. Hux, not so much, or so Kylo thinks. Then he actually thinks for once and comes to A Realization™. They fuck, they cuddle, then they get soft and tender. Disgusting. [E, 3.4k, no warnings, fox hux, fluff & smut, dom kylo & sub hux]

- the chancellor's gift by @thethespacecoyote Supreme Leader Kylo Ren goes on a mission to retrieve something invaluable for his lightsaber-obsessed chancellor. However, his plans for presenting the treasure to Hux are unfortunately derailed when a group of insurgents kidnap the chancellor and hold him hostage, threatening both Hux's life, and the life of their unborn pup. It seems, even years into their reign, that there are still enemies foolish enough to try to take from Kylo what's his. [M, 5.3k words, warnings for violence, alpha kylo & omega hux, mpreg, protective kylo]

- Entrapped by @kyluxtrashpit While searching for a mysterious Force artifact for Snoke, a squadron of Stormtroopers goes missing. Kylo insists on going out alone then, certain he can find and face down whatever might have killed them and succeed in getting the artifact. The creature responsible, however, has other plans for him. [E, 3.4k words, rape/noncon, tentacle sex, protective hux]

- Your Chain Around My Neck by @bastila-s After the council meeting about the Sith fleet, Kylo asks Hux to stay behind and "prove" he isn't a spy. [E, 3.6k words, no warnings but dubcon tag, power dynamics, smut, dom kylo & sub hux]

- Regret by @abraxas-drake Kylo tries to get Hux to relax under the guise of a work discussion. When things go terribly wrong, Hux must rely on the new Supreme Leader to save his life. [E, 3.8k words, warnings for violence and threats of noncon, alpha kylo & omega hux, protective kylo, forced into heat]

- Invasion by sigo Hux was seated at the long durasteel table in the Steadfast’s largest conference room, Enric Pryde on his left and Mitaka presenting his findings to the group standing on his right, when he felt it: Ren’s hands on his chest, running hot down his skin below his uniform. [E, 2.9k words, no warnings, pwp, bottom hux & top kylo, force sex, semi-public sex]

- In His Grasp by @cosleia Kylo Ren doesn't understand why General Hux is shirking his duty over a simple injury. When he tries to find out, though, he learns more than he bargained for...about the general, and about himself. [M, 4.1k words, post-tlj, pining, hand-feeding]

- Heat Sink by @sparrows-trashcan Kylo Ren is an omega but so is General Hux. While Hux doesn't mind everyone knowing that his preference is limited to male omegas Kylo Ren is shamed to feel the same. Everything changes after the Starkiller incident: Kylo Ren is in heat and there is only one person on the Finalizer who could possibly help him... [E, 4.2k words, no warnings, omega hux & omega kylo, smut]

- Distraction by @kyluxtrashpit Kylo needs a distraction from his hopeless pining over his co-commander, who he's sure he can never have. So he turns to the Knights of Ren to keep his mind - and body - busy. When Hux walks in on the events, however, Kylo learns that perhaps his feelings aren't a lost cause after all. [E, 3.6k words, no warnings, kylo/knights of ren, group sex]

- Between the Stars by Kittens The Finalizer's medical team does not want to deal with Kylo Ren. When he ends up injured during a mission, it's up to Hux to take care of him. It's not exactly what Hux is good at, but for Kylo it means everything. [T, 3.9k words, no warnings, hurt/comfort, bathing]

- Switch Up, Love Eternal by @onewhositswiththeturtles When Ren damages consoles aboard the Finalizer during a tantrum, Hux summons him for some much-deserved discipline. Perhaps there would be some hope for Ren learning the error of his ways if he wasn't such a whore for punishment. [E, 3.4k words, no warnings, dom/sub switching, smut]

- Across the Stars (To Find You) by Lady_Faulkner While on a mission for Snoke, Kylo Ren gets kidnapped by pirates and it's up to General Hux to track him down and rescue him before he's sold on the black market. Along the way, Hux discovers that his feelings of hatred for Kylo Ren have been masking another emotion altogether. [E, 10.9k, no warnings, kidnapping, hurt kylo]

- Doom's Desire by @nerdherderette Hux never expected to find a jewel worthy of the Empire's crown in an Outer Rim desert wasteland. [E, 10.3k words, no warnings, canon au, gladiator fighter kylo, emperor hux]

- Empire Day Miracle by coldashes Kylo just wants to relax, to be surrounded by people is to be surrounded by the Force. Except this is the First Order's Empire Day officer party and things never go as well as one would hope. [E, 4.4k words, no warnings, pwp, identity mistakes, pre-tfa]

- Reptile Husbandry by koi_boi Hux is an accomplished researcher who's having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad time in the field. He stumbles into a cave filled with secrets and one very large, very curious snake. Hux gets fucked in more ways than one. [E, 13.4k words, no warnings, modern/fantasy au, naga kylo & researcher hux, smut]

- Utapaun Christening by @mcducklet-blog Kylo Ren is determined to ensure that his children are the strongest creatures in the galaxy. Armitage Hux is willing to go along with it.Neither of them is ready for what that entails. [T, 6.6k words, no warnings, mpreg, knights of ren, peril]

- so it goes by @msbyjckals [WIP] Hux wakes to feel a pair of warm, calloused hands covering his. He doesn’t remember much, just the mission brief, the landing, and the cold. [M, 2.9k words, no warnings, starkiller rescue]

- Rumor Mill by @theweddingofthefoxes Everybody has their own suspicions about what Kylo Ren and General Hux get up to in private, but the truth is far more tender than anyone would guess. [G, 1.2k words, no warnings, fluff, cuddling]

- The One with the Eggs by sigo Hux turned on his heel, but hardly made it two steps before running straight into Kylo Ren. He knew his face betrayed his dismay. He didn’t have time for this. “I apologize, Ren, but I must be on my way.” Hux stepped to the side and Ren stepped in front of him again. Hux shivered as he felt another dropping sensation inside himself. This time the ‘drop’ completed its path — the inside of his pants was wet, cold gel trickling at a glacial pace down his thighs. Of course, that was nothing compared to what lay ahead. “Ren,” He said sharply. His voice was higher, raising in pitch the way it always did when he was panicked. “I am ill. Let me through.” Ren spoke through his ridiculous helmet, voice distorted. “We have a meeting.” [E, 4.8k, no warnings, alien hux, eggs, bottom kylo & top hux]

- Shadow Of Your Heart by @pangolinpirate & @redcole & @starkillersbae [WIP] After the fall of the empire Luke Skywalker fought a rising evil in the outer rim, a villain named Snoke who tormented his young nephew. With Snoke defeated, Leia sent her son to be trained as part of the new order of jedi, in the hopes that it would keep him safe. [E, 22.7k words, no warnings, omega kylo & alpha kylo, mpreg]

- Clear From Far Away by @pizzzazlut “But most of all, curse Kylo bloody Ren for having a chest that sparked pure, unadulterated arousal that has Hux humping his pillow like a fucking virgin.” Or the one where Hux is just trying to get off but his Supreme Leader just won't leave him alone. [E, 1.8k words, no warnings but dubcon, pillow humping]

- Tripped Over A Mouse Droid by @milarca & @ranebowstitches Hux gets injured while working, and Kylo finds him in the medbay. Who knew mouse droids could be so dangerous? [G, 3k words, no warnings, hurt/comfort, alpha kylo & omega hux]

- with you by @msbyjckals “You know I love you, right?” Ren said. “Of course I know that, I’ve always had you; you’ve always been mine.” [T, 1k words, no warnings, sleepy cuddles, soft domestic fluff]

- Unexpected Avenues by @sinceyouaskedmeforataleof [WIP, Mitaka/Hux] No one wanted to take this particularly grisly task, but Dopheld is glad it fell to him when he realises that all is not as it seems. Can he make a new life on the run with his ex, now that everything he thought he knew has been turned upside down? [E, 84k words, omega hux & alpha kylo & alpha mitaka, mpreg, post-tros]

- Who Needs The Galaxy When There's You? by Mesmeret Kylo is a simple, lonely smuggler with no one since his accident a decade ago. Or so he thought before his twelve year old daughter retrieves him to help out his long forgotten husband with a bothersome heat. [E, 7.7k words, no warnings, alpha kylo & omega hux, amnesia, smuggler kylo & mandalorian hux]

- By the Will of the Gods by @darktenshi17 Armitage is chosen to be a sacrifice to his gods in return for his village's protection. It's not the gods who find him out in the woods. [E, 1.9k words, no warnings but dubcon, fantasy/medieval au,

- The Fall of Yesterday by @sinceyouaskedmeforataleof [WIP] Seven years after Exegol, a nameless sailor works a thankless job onboard an Arkanis pearl harvester and fails to forget all the things he has lost. When the ship arrives at a new port all he wants to do is find a place to sleep through his shore leave. He might find more than that. [E, 10k words, no warnings, tros fix-it, alpha kylo & omega hux]

- Special Delivery by DaisyChainz Hux orders a toy that's supposed to be 'discreetly packaged', but when his hot mailman brings it directly to his front door, he finds out it is definitely not. [E, 3.3k words, no warnings, modern au, smut]

- Most Wanted by @pizzzazlut When the most prolific serial killer the city of Arkanis has ever seen is finally arrested and awaiting trial, it takes two of the cities most respected lawyers to represent the culprit and the victims. The only problem is that Kylo Ren and Armitage Hux haven't interacted since law school and will now have to work against each other to win the career-building case of a lifetime. Or The one where Kylo and Hux are rival lawyers with too much history but an equal amount of hate for Snoke. [E, 12.6k words, warnings for violence, modern au, murders and blood]

- Devotion by @kyluxtrashpit The Emperor loves to hear about his devoted hound's successful missions, ideally in as much detail as possible. Kylo does not disappoint. [E, 1.9k, no warnings, smut, emperor hux & hound kylo]

- three's a crowd by @thethespacecoyote Ren Prime catches Ben sneaking a First Order cadet onboard, and decides an unorthodox kind of punishment is in order. [E, 1.4k words, no warnings, ren prime, smut, voyeurism]

- If we have each other (the world is ours to conquer) by thereisnocowboyemoji “You think, what, that I have feelings for her?” “Please, Ren, do not dare try to insult my intelligence.” [G, 1.3k, no warnings, married kylux, mpreg, jealousy]

- In the Vents by @kyluxtrashpit Hux returns from his shift to find the bottom half of Kylo sticking out of the heating vent. Kylo is stuck and Hux isn't one to let opportunities pass him by. [E, 2k words, no warnings, pwp]

- the monster in your bed by @thethespacecoyote In the dead of night, something terrifying and lascivious comes to a sleeping General Hux. [E, 2k words, no warnings, consensual noncon roleplay, sub hux & dom kylo]

- Old Hornington Rides Again by oorsprong “Don’t be vulgar.” Of course he remembered. The embarrassing nickname had somehow become part of the whole taboo. Sex in the conference room in the early hours; Hux naked but for his boots and his hat and taunting Kylo with dirty talk. Kylo worshiped his cock in those days, treated it with reverence. “I could do it again.” [E, 1.3k words, no warnings, smut, old married kylux]

- His Purpose by partialresonance When Hux hears Snoke's voice in his mind, he thinks it's a caffeine hallucination. Until the voice plants an insidious purpose that Hux has no choice but to fulfill. Thankfully, Kylo is there to save him. Little does he know that the sinister presence was targeting him all along. [M, 5.6k words, no warnings, suicide attempt, mind manipulation, love confessions]

- Mariner’s Hollo by Eirean Whilst on a diplomatic mission, Kylo is invited to take part in the planet’s ancient ritual, and demands that the Grand Marshall accompany him. Said Grand Marshall is deeply unimpressed by the whole thing. [E, 9.7k words, no warnings, enemies to lovers, smut]

- Let It Happen by @pizzzazlut Armitage Hux re-analyzed all his life choices up to this point and could not come up with anything as careless as this. Or the one where Ren joins Kylo and Hux in bed because he doesn't like being left out. [E, 2k words, ren prime, threesome]

- Come On And Slam by @thediktatortot Hux and Kylo invite Ren Prime into their chambers and get more than they bargain for. [E, 1.9k words, no warnings, ren prime, threesome]

- A Passing Madness by moreless “It’s a gift,” says Ren simply, folding his large hands behind his back. His gaze moves between the lightsaber and Hux. “It used to belong to the Jedi traitor Mace Windu. It reminded me of you.” Two steps forward, one step back. Another step back. That's how their relationship works. Even now. [T, 1.9k words, no warnings, duel of the fates au, power dynamics]

- Our Impeccable Leadership by roseofgalaxies The Supreme Leader and his treacherous General have begun to collaborate with unexpected success. There's only one problem: Ren's stopped wearing a shirt. [E, 4.8k words, no warnings, lego holiday special, body worship]

- Giving In by Kyram (BrokenApril) Hux has a mission. Millions of lives are on the line, yet Ren's presence teases him. He's desperate to give in even if his job will become all the harder. [T, 2.2k words, no warnings, touch starvation, force sensitive hux]

- to lay your armor down by surrenderer Once in a while, the Supreme Leader likes to wear his Chancellor’s greatcoat around the Capitol building. [M, 661 words, no warnings, role reversal, force sensitive hux & force null kylo]

- Benefits of Force Sensitivity by Kittens After the surprising change in his relationship with Ren, Hux has a lot to think about. But they also have a mission to complete and that may have unintended consequences. [M, 4.3k words, no warnings, force sensitive hux, cuddling]

#kylux #benarmie #fic rec #i looked for people's tumblr names but i couldnt find most of them!! sorry <3 #and i'm sure i will have left some out #my dad is still in hospital and this was a good distraction from the worry #i hope you find something in here that you haven't read before! <3

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onewingedxngel · 4 years ago

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Sooooo, pre!, post!, and redeemeed!Seph's reactions once meeting Lucrecia? (On one hand, I feel like she'd be relieved he's alive. But on the other, that would mean her visions were true 😔)

Ello Anon, thanks for this.

May I just start off by saying that I was so pissed off when Vincent told Lucrecia that Sephiroth was dead. I get that it would’ve been painful for her to know the truth, but JESUS CHRIST, JUST TELL HER THE TRUTH!! I mean, she’d be in great pain, but a) I want her reaction, b) she’s part of the reason that he exists in the first place, and c) I feel like, after all the explosion of emotion she’d go through, she’d want to find him, and...

... well, yeah, I’d love to see an interaction between the two. Hopefully the Remake will give us something like that; especially if it wants to tie up all the loose ends.

Pre-Nibel Seph

This will highly depend on context.

I won’t go into what would happen if she raised him alongside Hojo and Gast, since that’s a WHOOOOOLE other question, and trust me, this is already going to be a very long answer.

WELL. If she somehow met him just before the Nibelheim Incident, maybe when he’d entered the Library, hmm... I wouldn’t say he’d be super aggressive, but he’d be angry for sure. This is the moment where he realises his life is a lie, the moment which pushes him to the realisation that he is, ultimately, nothing. Although her presence may decrease the chances of him going on his rampage, they do not entirely negate them either. I must note that I believe that Sephiroth was going to destroy the town, with or without JENOVA’s temporary influence (I refrain from saying it’s a headcanon because I do have evidence to support this idea in an upcoming post).

He’d be angry. He’s ask questions. There’s a chance he may reject her in his anger. But there’s also a chance that she may manage to... well, not calm him, but do enough to prevent the deaths of Nibelheim villagers. Though, well, certain other deaths may still be on the table. His emotions are so powerful, and he knows so little on how to handle them, that this can’t ever really go over very smoothly. Especially when you consider the fact that he was raised a weapon. Hmm... maybe a few tears may or may not be shed if she encouraged him to be more open with his emotions, somehow (difficult but not impossible)

If he’d met her beforehand, he’d obviously be very curious and excited to find out about his mother. But the moment he finds out the truth would be the moment everything falls apart (especially if she keeps it a secret from him). He’d feel so betrayed.

The best way for it to occur would be for her to get him out of Shinra, essentially setting him free from the company, and be honest from the get-go. Again, it wouldn’t be easy, but the betrayal wouldn’t be as bad as the previous scenario, and he wouldn’t be trapped alone in a basement for days on end with thoughts of rage.

Post-Nibel Seph

Death, in 90% of cases I’d say. I mean, Sephiroth is faced with one of the three main players in his creation (other two being Gast and Hojo). However, even if I think he’d most likely kill her... I don’t think she’d go instantaneously, like with President Shinra in the Remake.

The thing is, this is his biological mother. The person from which he was born. The only person in the project who seemed to oppose it because they felt a personal connection to him. He’d want to know more.

Psychological torture is a given, because when hasn’t he done that? He’d venture through every part of her thought process, force her to confront all the guilt, force her back into all the terrible memories. But what would make this interesting is that this would be a very revealing moment for Sephiroth too, because he’d be exploring one of the things that make him so vulnerable: his creation.

One may see more raw emotions from him. While he makes her face the horrors of her past, he’d be forced to face the horrors of his creation. And then, maybe, the questions, memories, and emotions he confronts her with may take a more explicitly personal turn. This is the very thing which pushed Sephiroth to do what he does, after all.

The main reason why I say the death rate isn’t 100% is because Lucrecia is, in my opinion, the only canonical character that would love Sephiroth unconditionally. Even if she’d be completely horrified by his actions, she still wouldn’t stop loving him, and would believe that it’s all her fault (which isn’t entirely incorrect).

I could see Sephiroth getting second thoughts in the deepest depths of his subconsious mind about killing her, but then stuffing them away. He might kill her without remorse, he might kill her precisely because of these uncertain thoughts, or, in the least likely scenario, he may spare her for the time being. He’d certainly deny it, but in at least some situations, her unconditional love may come to emotionally affect him in some manner.

But don’t get me wrong, if I’m incorrect and her love is not unconditional, then he’s definitely going to kill her (I’d elaborate but this has already gone on so long).

Redeemed!Seph

Well, since Redeemed!Sephiroth, you know... actually wants redemption, and as I explained in my post here (which also has a paragraph on Redeemed!Seph’s potential responses to Hojo): he is not inclined to kill. I go into detail about exceptions and special cases there, but in the overwhelming majority of cases, he will do what he can to avoid taking the life of both man and beast (which is easy, since his superior strength means he can take care of conflict without outright killing). This means that, unlike Post-Nibel Seph, he’s not going to approach Lucrecia with plans to kill her.

He’d feel a lot of emotions, all mixing together to the point where he’d be uncertain on how to describe how he feels. He wouldn’t be super warm to her, because even if she feels remorse over what she did, he still came into existence. And, as I’ve said a lot by now (don’t blame me, I love this concept): he would NOT EXIST if it hadn’t been for the experiment. Lucrecia didn’t randomly get pregnant and decide to experiment on her own child, no, as far as I can tell, THIS WAS PLANNED BEFORE CONCEPTION. Even if this was not the case, a Sephiroth without JENOVA cells literally would not be Sephiroth, but rather, a completely different person (I’d explain this more but I want to stay focused on the initial question).

Lucrecia felt bad because it was her child, not because of the ethical implications of creating a sentient being for the sake of exploitation/weaponisation, so I don’t think Seph would be super stoked about that.

Ultimately, though... I dunno, if she had a breakdown, he wouldn’t just leave her in such a state. He’d definitely want to talk to her, ask her questions, and I can’t see him rejecting her or the maternal warmth she throws at him (though he’d be quite awkward about it). But... he’d still very much feel bitterness over the nature of his existence and challenge her over her decisions. Hell, maybe go off to find Hojo alongside her too, for the sake of closure.

Since he’s nomadic, and would still be inclined to continue his travels (kinda relevant to the whole ~redemption~ thing), he wouldn’t stop for too long to spend time with her: but if she wished to join him (and I’m sure she would), he wouldn’t stop her unless he’s doing something particularly dangerous.

#Anonymous #ramblings #ask #//Sephiroth #//Lucrecia #headcanon #I... have created a monster #how tf did this get so long??????#anyway thank you SO MUCH for the question #I loved it #essay #anyhow soz for keeping this in my drafts for approximately 3986326895 years

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corvidshipping · 3 years ago

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modern au red/milo dump while i try to get myself together to answer asks nd work on ATJ:

(tw for alcohol mentions near the end, also this is an EXTREMELY long post, its so long that even after i split it into categorized sections each section could be its own post)

CLOTHING

milo absolutely has no sense of fashion. i feel like this is basically canon - for the styles at the time, he dresses fairly basic, mostly focused on looking put together for his job (definitely dresses aimed more towards how he would like to be treated by his peers, despite his actual position - then again our best example outside of the expedition is when he's about to deliver what he considers the most important presentation of his life, so who knows, maybe he usually dresses like a slob). aside from that his main concern seems like practicality and comfort. his wardrobe is dominated by earth tones - beiges and greens set with white and greys. all of that taken into account, i can see him dressing like this in a more modern era:

basically- a lot of cardigans, usually collared shirts or comfortable turtlenecks (since he does still occupy a research position at the smithsonian, even if only in title), big ol' coats, khakis and chinos and slightly stiff dress pants complete with ironed creases. i can see him wearing similar clothes outside work, just more comfortable - jeans and knitted shirts, henleys, more turtlenecks, and comfy cardigans over short sleeved shirts. i dont really see him wearing a lot of prints, i think he'd veer more towards solid clothes in lighter colors, but maybe he has a few. hes definitely the kind of guy to think of wearing the single graphic tee he owns as "bold and wild".

im very married to the idea of him wearing converse though. i cant explain it. milo in converse keeps me going in this world

hes kind of broke so i think maybe he got the converse secondhand maybe? or a gift of some kind. aside from the converse i can see him wearing a lot of oxfords and maybe wingtips

i want to see him in a hawaiian shirt so bad. i am losing it at this thought. he buttons it all the way up to his neck like someones awkward dad. milo wears a hawaiian shirt to "let loose". he wears it with like, khakis. or knee length jorts AHHHHDJHDSGJHDSJGh

a tie??? does he wear his hawaiian shirt with a tie???? does he think it makes it look cooler?????????? i am sobbing

red is the COMPLETE opposite. in the canon 1914 setting, red is already very rebellious for an AFAB person of their era- theyre openly a suffragette, they frequently refuse to wear skirts even in public and dress in mens clothes even before they were openly nonbinary, despite not being accepted into the male-dominated research fields and colleges they continue to educate themself with or without help, they purposely aim for an "unfeminine" silhouette when they dress, refuse to wear corsets, etc. (spoiler alert- there's a clear reason they get on so well with audrey in ATJ)

theyre also easily mistaken by people that didnt know them prior to their transition for being just a very small/young cis man- even though they canonically have a very soft "traditionally feminine" face

so basically, in any era theyre set into, red is always gonna aim to be ahead of the curve- both in their personal beliefs and practices and in their fashion. theyre also very androgynous in their clothes, although they tend to aim a bit more masculine (thats partially due to the era though, and having been forced into skirts exclusively for their entire life- i think in a modern setting where its more acceptable for AFABs to dress and act in a less hyperfeminine way, theyd be more okay with a fluidity in their gender presentation).

all that taken into account, i can see them dressing like this:

lots of baggy clothes, especially baggy jackets and shirts. they like loose fitting high waisted pants like JNCO jeans, cargo pants, etc but they arent averse to pencil legs. they rarely ever wear skinny jeans or drainpipes though. messy hair is a lifestyle for them- their haircut is definitely home-done

you know how in BICSTLY they used to have really long hair before they cut it? in a modern au i can see them impulsively doing the cut at like 3am and waking milo up at his door cause they screwed it up and he ends up having to help fix it (even though hes literally no better at cutting hair than them. worse even)

definitely have an undercut bob- bob on top, shaven on the bottom layer. they might end up growing their hair into a mullet at some point if they get bored. probably dyes their hair all the time out of boredom and then regrets it later and has to use dye remover.

lots of ripped tights and fishnets, leggings with big loose crop tops, big hoodies, safety pin jewelry and homemade jewelry. maybe some sticknpokes.

all that said, they still know how to dress in a professional situation. since its a modern au theres really nothing holding them back from the education and career they canonically want but cant get in the 1910s, so i imagine they would work at the smithsonian as well, maybe their father helped them get the job? potentially in that case they might be his assistant- after all, he trusts their opinion on artifacts more than anyone else's.

at work you can still very much see the punk/skater/grunge/goth style but its more understated- turtlenecks, high waisted and looser dress pants, lots of black, slightly unbuttoned collared shirts with a loose overcoat and no tie

since i elaborated on milos shoe taste i may as well elaborate on red's: they definitely wear converse as well, probably newer than milo's since their father is fairly wealthy and they can afford it. they also have a doc martens collection. they have a pair of demonias but they never wear them and milo is really the only person to even know they own them, let alone see them in them. they really dont like to wear heels much, but they own a few just to play around with. they have a bad habit of wearing any laced shoes untied, but they never trip over the laces. they also use lace code- their most-worn Docs have purple laces on the right foot and yellow on the left. some of their Docs have (reclaimed) pink laces.

has an extensive pin collection including feminism pins, anti-racism pins, punk-related pins, skater-related pins, and pop culture pins (80s music, modern music, old movies, etc)

MUSIC TASTE

milo's into a lot of older music- stuff from the 50s is his favorite. really into jazz and ballroom style stuff. his favorite band is queen, i think- he likes the old-fashioned sound, the jazz-chamber-ballroom influences, the diversity of their lyrics, and the complexity between the guitar riffs, the basslines, and freddie's vocal runs as well as the vocal harmonies.

sometimes he hums good old fashioned lover boy to red and they two-step in the living room in their pajamas :pleading:

also very into rush. yes, he is a rush guy :pensive:.

also listens to a surprising amount of lo-fi? he really likes stuff that remixes older music with hip hop and lofi elements, like earl grey. nearly exclusively into instrumental stuff but also very into louie zong. he listens to it while he works a lot.

knows a lotttt of foreign artists, especially niche ones. fuckin LOVES casiopea

red's spotify is a goddamn mess. everything from 2000s emo, to classic 70s punk, to post-punk and new wave, to 90s pop, to rap. they cant be easily classified at all

their favorite bands are oingo boingo, prince, queen (they listen to a lot of their harder-rock music, but milo knows theyre into the ballads too. theyll never tell anyone else though), doja cat, lil nas, fall out boy, and billie eilish.

red recites the intro monologue to lets go crazy very seriously to make milo laugh, sometimes. they get very into it with their facial expressions. sometimes it devolves into a full air guitar/keyboard/drum and wild dancing session. milo does not know how to participate in this but he loves watching them have fun with it. sometimes they pull him off the couch to make him dance with them, though

they are a huge sucker for dark pop, vaporwave, retrowave, EDM, hip hop, emo, punk... etc etc. anything that combines any two or more of those genres in an original or interesting way gets their attention right away

there's a lot of sharing between the two of them- even though their music tastes are so different, they like a lot of the others taste, and theyre always up to listen to whatever their partner is playing.

red is a huge softie, and milo has found them more than once listening to or humming something he was playing for them the other day because it reminded them of him

speaking of which- in the 1914 canon, red can play piano. i think that carries over to a modern au, where they could play piano and by extension keyboard. i like to think they experiment with a lot of instruments but i doubt they ever really mastered any others. maybe theyre okay at drums or bass?

they learned to play and sing teo torriatte for milo, as a surprise. when they first performed it for them, they had everything set up for when he got home from work- the lights were dimmed, they had candles lit around the keyboard, they draped stuff in cloth to make it look pretty, they scattered flower petals around. when milo walked in and saw it all, he almost proposed then and there- the only thing that stopped him was that he would kick himself for the rest of his life if he did that without a ring.

HOBBIES/ACTIVITIES

milo is still an avid chess player in this, but i like to think hes in some kind of groupchat or text or discord server for it. he doesnt necessarily consider any of the others in the chat close friends, but he does know them all by name

he tries to get red into chess but they never really get it

he tells them all about the stuff that goes down in the games and they just. do not understand. but they love listening to him get excited about it anyway

"red you're not gonna BELIEVE this, eddie played an italian game on star today! i thought for sure she would see through it since everyone knows it but she slipped and he beat her in like, 13 moves! i wouldnt have believed it if i hadnt been there!"

"yes sweetie please tell me more" (barely disguised pained expression)

red is a skater and a regular at the skate park by the smithsonian

most regulars there know them by name, they can spot a newbie a mile away

they have a sticker of a broken tv with a skull inside of it on the underside of their board, its become recognized as a symbol of them unofficially

since theyre so regular and have been going there a lot longer than most of the other skaters that frequent the place, a lot of what they say is kind of just accepted as the rules

they have a bad habit of lecturing new kids who show up without knee/elbow pads or helmets at the very least. all the other skaters enforce it too. kids dont end up showing up without protective gear very often after their first visit

they brought a first aid kid and left it there and everyone has kept it stocked pretty well without them having to have much input. its kind of just a communal first aid kit

they once drew the broken tv symbol on the inside of a half-pipe and everyone started calling it red's ramp after that

they also started calling the bowl at the center of the park the Soup Bowl and now thats just accepted as the name. some of the newer kids genuinely thought that it was called that by the park and were shocked when they found out it was just a random nickname red gave it one day

theyve brought milo a few times but hes extremely awkward on his feet and could never really get his balance on a skateboard, and quite frankly red is afraid of what might happen if he tried even a low ramp, so he usually just sits at the rim of the bowl while red skates around

everyone knew he was their boyfriend before they even met him. a few of the regulars called him by name right away. one of them was certain red had brought him before.

but no

they just talk so fuckin much about him that its like they already know him

aside from skateboarding, red is pretty good on rollerskates/blades

they tried to take milo to a roller rink once but it was a disaster and they ended up going home, changing into pajamas, ordering chinese food, and marathoning movies till they fell asleep on the couch together. so not a total loss

theyre both very into movies. red is deep into horror and milo likes indie/art movies and just Cannot handle horror at all, but they both agree on old movies, from the 80s and 90s to like the 30s.

red has shown milo some of the classic horror movies and the niche old ones (from like the 40s) since theyre not difficult to stomach

every so often when red brings up wanting to see a horror movie milo is like "aw babe we can watch that tonight i promise it wont be bad" and he genuinely thinks he can handle it this time

he cant

he never can

it is always a lie

red ends up holding him every time and talking him to sleep, but it thankfully never causes like a major panic attack or anything like that

they love going to museums together, of all kinds. they love art museums. they also go to aquariums and aviaries

sometimes they like to go to other history museums and criticise the veracity or accuracy of exhibits/translations, all in good fun of course. theyre never actually being mean about it

SIDENOTES/UNCATEGORIZED

they both used to work at starbucks, when they were younger and before they worked at the smithsonian. they worked at separate stores 2 blocks from each other.

milo cant stand soda or carbonated drinks, red can and will chug a java monster in order to survive a long workday if they must. milo is constantly concerned for their health and wellbeing

they r both lightweights when it comes to drinking. they can split a six pack and both be falling-over drunk by the end of the night.

given the changes in beauty standards people DEFINITELY think milo is more attractive than they would in 1914. cmon. hes a lil twinky nerd. you think people wont eat that up?

he never really catches onto the flirting much though

did u think i would forget ki/da and the others? youd be wrong.

i simultaneously like the idea of something similar to the movie happening, but also just like... ki/da just being a regular person living on the surface. in either case they r all friends still

in the case of ki/da just being a regular person on the surface- i like the idea of atl/antis just being A Place in this au, maybe its a bit of a closed off country though? like, not many foreigners live there and to get there you basically need to be there as a diplomat or a scholar

maybe ki/da visits DC as a diplomat? she is a princess, after all

red meets audrey online cause they both yell at the same misogynistic asshole on twitter

they exchange discord names in the replies of the tweet and tell the guy not to interrupt them while theyre talking in his replies

i like to think red and milo are selected to go on an academic visit to atl/antis (to learn about the culture, with permission of the king), and audrey ends up as the mechanic on the ship during the visit and theyre like (spiderman pointing meme) at each other

red and audrey have so many inside jokes that they basically speak a different language. milo gets some of the terms from context and pop culture (they use "so very" in real life- as in "wow, that shirt is so very.") but he is hopeless to learn all of it

one of their inside jokes is any variation of "milo hot girl summer" and they REFUSE to explain it to him no matter how much he begs

milo wears that iconique tank top on the ship and they say it literally any time he bends over, picks anything up, reaches for anything, moves, BREATHES. he is bewildered and at this point concerned

(in truth, the joke came from red taking a really blurry picture of him in a short sleeve shirt where he looked pretty cute and captioned it "milo's having a hot girl summer rn" and they just could not stop repeating it once audrey met him IRL)

they have a minecraft world. i do like to believe that every so often vinny finds a way in- theyre never sure how- and griefs the shit out of them by blowing up EVERY. monument.

this post is getting long bc im enraptured by the idea of an atl/antis modern au so im cutting it off here but expect WAY MORE later

#paper_heart.txt #s: i didn't say it's the smart thing. but it is the right thing #alcohol ment tw

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tlbodine · 4 years ago

Text

An Irritated Review of an Aggressively Bad Book

As a child of the 90s, I cut my teeth on R.L. Stine’s books. Goosebumps in elementary school, graduating up to Fear Street -- with its guts and gore! -- by my tweens. But the time came when I had voraciously consumed all of the R.L. Stine at the library, and I hungered for more books in the same vein.

Which led me to Christopher Pike.

Christopher Pike was another of the “Point Horror” series writers popular through the 80s, and they were an obvious thing to recommend to a budding young horror fan (especially as his books tended to be popular with young girls, thanks to the romantic subplots they often featured). But I just never really enjoyed them. I read a handful, shrugged it off, and eventually moved on to reading Stephen King and other adult authors instead.

Which brings us to this motherfucker.

@comicreliefmorlock sent me a small stack of vintage YA horror titles, because reading ridiculous cheesy teen thrillers sounded like good nostalgic fun.

But this book isn’t the fun kind of cheesy. It’s the kind of cheesy that drives me to start blogging in irritation at 12:57 am. Because this book isn’t just bad, it is aggressively bad, and it says a lot about 1984 and the state of horror fiction and YA fiction and publishing in general that this fucking book launched Christopher Pike’s career.

So let’s talk about this sumbitch below the cut.

The story is about a group of teens who meet up for a ski weekend. The girls were all very close when they were younger, but drifted apart after an accident that left one friend badly burned and her little sister dead. The burned-friend is the one whose family owns this very fancy house and so graciously invited everyone to come hang out.

Our characters don’t really get much in the way of actual characterization, but here’s the cast:

Nell, who has some facial scarring and whose family is apparently loaded

Nicole, the dead little sister

Lara, the main character (ostensibly)

Dana, who likes to eat and crack jokes (funny fat friend solidarity fist bump)

Rachael, the gorgeous blonde beauty rival of Lara

Mindy, who chews gum

Celeste, a shy girl with back problems who they’ve befriended somewhat recently

They arrive and hand over their keys to a park ranger to valet-park their car while marveling at how they don’t really know if he was a real park ranger, because I always give my keys to strangers when visiting an isolated location. Celeste asks some innocent questions about why the group hasn’t hung out recently, and the group neglects to mention the dead sister, but the reader figures it out.

Don’t worry, we’ll hear all about that in a moment. But first there’s a small, stupid mystery about a disappearing snowman, that melted really fast like it was burned and Lara will continue to fixate on this for the rest of the book.

They spend a little time getting settled in before hitting the slopes. Celeste and Nell hang behind despite being the two people at this gathering who presumably don’t know each other, but they hit it off great right away so good for them.

At the ski lodge, they run into a pair of boys that Rachael and Mindy know -- Percy and Cal. Lara falls into an instant and irritating infatuation with Percy for some reason, deepening that rivalry with Rachael. Cal creeps on Dana, trying to grope her when they get a minute alone, but Mindy of course gets jealous of Dana for horning on on her man because of course she does.

Note: The book was written by a man in 1985.

Anyway, at the ski slopes, Dana disappears, and everyone kind of assumes she’s just trying to avoid Cal even when they find one of her skis sitting in the middle of a very mysterious patch of snow that seems to have some ash and ice in it (just like the snowman! gasp!) but it’s probably fine!

Somewhere in here we get an entire chapter told in italics to provide helpful background information about how Nicole died -- which involved a bunch of 6th graders at a sleepover getting drunk from stolen brandy in the liquor cabinet, deciding to hold a seance, knocking over a candle, catching Nicole on fire, and then Lara trying to put her out with the brandy (because it’s wet!) and that of course creates a Nicole-Flambe situation. Nicole is whisked away to the hospital and dies there and Lara is wracked with guilt and so forth and so on.

And scene. Back to the present, where Dana is still missing, they can’t find the ranger who has their car keys, there’s a storm bearing down on them, but of course the most important thing is whether Percy likes Lara better than he likes Rachael. They invite the boys to come over that night.

Dana’s not back at the house, so Lara calls the lodge to ask for them to have her call if she shows up, but otherwise big shrugs about the friend’s disappearance and presumably being lost in the middle of a storm. Celeste is scandalized that they were going to eat cold cuts at a party and sets to dressing and roasting two whole chickens and a bunch of side dishes, which is of course an extremely normal thing for a teenager to do at a party.

The boys show up, and Lara feels kind of bad about not really caring where Dana is, except not guilty enough to do anything about it. Dana, you’re too good for these people, get better friends.

Anyway, they eat and do some drinking then play charades, which Celeste and Nell are eerily good at (hmmmm) and then Cal creeps on Celeste which starts a whole argument culminating in Percy punching him in the face, Cal stumbling backward, and Mindy’s arm catching fire because Nell had bitchily thrown alcohol at her earlier. They throw out the boys and start doing some first aid on Mindy, including dosing her on some codeine that they conveniently have lying around.

Percy’s gotta go, so Lara walks him out in the woods, refusing anybody else’s offer to come with her so she doesn’t get lost because she wants to make a move on him. There’s some painful flirting, some kissing, some talks about pyrokinesis and the mysterious Dana disappearance (and the snowman! that damned snowman!) and also Percy has a flare gun in his pocket for some reason.

Gag. Ugh. But ok, fine, Percy gives her the flare gun, presumably because he’s letting her walk back through the woods alone in a blizzard. She scoops up some of the ice from Dana’s disappearance-spot to bring home for evidence and then goes to bed. When she awakens, the ice has melted and she can see bones! and ash! Ahhhh!

This causes her to panic, so she runs out of the house at 3am into the woods and then, idk, freezes or something. Cal is there for some reason? She conveniently blacks out and awakens to find herself tied up in Nell’s basement. But hey look, Dana’s here! And so is Rachael!

We helpfully learn that Dana’s been tied up in a closet this whole time. Also, SURPRISE! Celeste isn’t actually Celeste, she’s Nicole! (in case this wasn’t already painfully obvious from all of the foreshadowing). She didn’t die after all! She just assumed an entirely new identity! She was just pretending not to know who Nell is!

Never mind that Celeste has parents who we have literally talked to in this book (they briefly call to check on her and Lara speaks to them instead). Apparently Nicole’s family....gave her up for adoption? but she’s still really close to her sister? Or else Lara somehow doesn’t realize that Celeste’s parents are Nell’s parents? Literally no part of this is explained in a way that makes any sense at all.

But anyway, turns out this whole weekend was just an excuse to get everybody together so that Nell and Nicole/Celeste could get revenge by dousing them in kerosene and burning them alive. Like you do.

There’s a lot of waffling and trying to win over Nicole with the power of friendship, and then she changes her mind about the plan but Nell doesn’t, which leads to some dramatic scuffling and ultimately Lara shoots Nell with Chekhov’s flare gun, but it’s totally OK because her expression is “the most peaceful” Lara has ever seen so that’s cool, and then they manage to rescue Mindy before the house blows up.

From there, we’ve just got some loose ends to tie up. We’re rescued by the suspicious ranger from earlier who it turns out actually is a ranger, so that’s cool. How did he find them? Why, that strapping young man Cal tipped him off that they might be in trouble!

You heard it here first, folks. Cal, the guy whose characterization up to this point has been “gropes girls without consent” and “tells funny war stories about napalm” is actually the real hero here! What a find stand-up young gentleman that serial offender is.

Also, again, Dana, you are too good for these people, find new friends.

Anyway, the girls end up in the hospital, where they promise a vow of secrecy but also Lara and Nicole are totally going to be best friends now, no harsh feelings. Also Lara is totally going to hook up with Percy, because that was definitely the most important thing to come from this weekend and she’s definitely not in any way going to be traumatized about any of this.

The end.

distant gagging sounds

#christopher pike #slumber party #books #amreading #book review #bookblr

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ceruleanwhore · 5 years ago

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So here is the sequel to that post I made about Descendants character design that no one asked for. I figured that since I did the ‘VKs’ I should also do all the assholes from Auradon, just to be fair lol. With this bunch of kids, it’s less so about how “omfg they’re trying to present edgy kids who literally grew up on a prison island without giving them any body mods what blasphemy is this” and moreso just going into the wardrobe and hair stuff. Kinda like how with Mal and everyone it was about having it not just be head to toe colorful leather, this is about having everyone not look like Barbie movie rejects who all coordinate their outfits a little too well in spite of not having a dress code while adding a little bit of extra stuff. I’m not going to go too crazy with piercings and tattoos but the combination of how all these kids are literally royalty and therefore can do pretty much anything along with how severely the characterization of their parents seems to deviate from their original characters, I think it’s reasonable to include some.

First off is Audrey. So, right off the bat, I think that instead of tying her to Aurora via questionable fashion choices, it would make sense to give her that long, loosely curled blonde hair that her mother has. With the clothing, that swing dress emulates Aurora’s dress in its neckline and cut without being whatever dumb shit Audrey wears in the movie. I’ve always been opposed to going too hard with color coding characters. The jacket, shoes, bracelet, and makeup are pretty self explanatory (shades are Ray Ban, heels are Louboutin) but I did want to touch on piercings. I decided that she would have both lobes pierced but on one side would also have a forward triple helix and a second lobe piercing and on the other would have one cartilage piercing, like a tragus, antitragus, or a daith, not sure which. She would also have a nose stud, hip piercings, and a navel piercing. The image next to the shoes is a navel ring I found that I think would be perfect.

Next up is Ben. I didn’t have that much to add here but I’ll explain what I did. I gave him some hair that might belong to some tiktokker, idk, but it’s like a nicer, neater version of the D3 mop. For clothes, I kept the button up but I really wanted to make it more casual but like rich people casual, as indicated by the Rolex. I do think he would have one ear pierced and I do think he’d have approximately 2 tattoos: a sword of some sort and his family crest.

So then we get Jane. Now, what I’ve got here is pretty similar in terms of design to her canon attire but I want to explain what I’ve come up with and why. With Jane, she seriously gets fucked over in how she’s first presented with how her appearance in the first movie is made to be like the love child of someone’s grandma and a Barbie movie in the worst way. Not only that, but the whole theme with her character throughout that movie is how she’s insecure about her appearance and at the end gets the nice message of how she’s fine just as she is- just to turn around and give her long flowing locks, a decent wardrobe change, and a bit more makeup in the next movie. So this here is supposed to be an initial character design for how she’s introduced that is a) just better in design and everything and b) closer to how she is presented in the second and third movies. I included the hairbow she had but changed it so it’s not absurdly stupid and went with some shoulder length loose curls that I think is a happy medium between the Oppressive Bob and Panteneᵀᴹ so we aren’t also all getting the message that ‘short hair is ugly’ which is really how that whole hair business comes across between her and Lonnie. But yeah, still baby blue but now it’s a blazer and a good skirt with no obscene ruffles or hot pink neck bows in sight, plus some black mary jane heels to tie it all together.

Aright, so now we’ve got Doug. This one’s really basic, just a wee lil man bun, a funky tshirt, some mustard-brown pants, an overshirt, and some boots. Oh, and a d20 spinner ring because it just felt right.

Now for my personal favorite, Lonnie. I decided to give her a blunt platinum bob because even if she didn’t have it at the very beginning, we’ve seen that the hair Mal gives her is the hair she’ll keep for the rest of the series and this in infinitely better than the shit she got as far as hair transformation goes. Plus, again, not sending the message that short hair is bad. So then I’m thinking a sassy tshirt, baggy jacket, ripped jeans, and burgundy converse. I think that, makeup-wise, she’d keep the eyeshadow basic and instead just focus on some killer eyeliner (you know, the kind that could sink an empire class Fire Nation battleship because it’s so... sharp) plus a wet red lip. Plus she’d have a whole bunch of ear piercings and a central labret and somewhere she would have a dragon tattoo. Point is, she’s not a princess like Audrey is and she can and does actually fight people so why is she running around in dresses and heels 90% of the time? Also, it goes without saying but she totally shouldn’t need Mal’s influence to get cool hair or any of it.

Last for a reason (spoiler: it’s because he sucks) is Chad. I’m about 98% sure that the hair I put in there came from either Little T or one of the Paul brothers but feel free to correct me on that. Here we’ve got an obnoxious tshirt, jeans, Nikes, an overshirt, a Gucci belt, and a Rolex. There’s also a nice little assortment of fuckboy tattoos. I, for one, am a huge fan of the lipstick stain tattoed on the neck.

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ultravioletsoul · 4 years ago

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sorry for this ask but i wanted to tell you that i'm really enjoying your makarov fic and how he seems like this character you can empathize with despite how awful he is. here's me hoping you can update soon but i'll be happy whenever you can do it :) reading your other posts i was wondering about the reader's abduction and how did he react to the news. having that bastard come to my rescue is really appealing to me so i just had to ask. hope you're doing okay and take care.

Aaah, sorry for the late reply! A lot has been going on in my life atm and most of it not very pretty but hey, thanks for your ask 💗💗💗 I hope I can go back to that fic soon orz.

I know Vladimir is a terrible man and his actions can't be justified but I wanted to do a different take on him. Rather than portraying him as a s.o.b. right off the bat, maybe make it something gradual :'v I don't think he was a goody two shoes but I don't want him to be a cartoonish villain either. So in a way I want to make it clear that he's not a good man because he doesn't act like one, and does very questionable things, but I want to show that he may have some moments in which some shred of humanity surfaces and he's not just a monster.

Beware that the rest of this post contains mature themes and deals with the topic of forced pr0st1tuti0n. You're all warned.

Anyways, in response to your ask, concerning Rea-tan's abduction... I haven't really decided on the details yet, but she was supposed to be abducted in order to be sold into a pr0st1tuti0n ring. According to the information Shepherd has gathered on Vladimir's past, it's known that the latter was involved in several instances of human trafficking (possibly before and after joining the Ultranationalists, I don't think it was ever specified). Mostly women from the poorest parts of Eastern Europe were targeted and convinced with lies of well paid jobs to leave their country and travel abroad. It's said that Vladimir worked on the logistics behind it, transporting these people. I think it's unlikely he looked for and targeted these individuals in a vulnerable economic situation himself. That sounds like the kind of thing others would do. At least in my fic, he only dealt with the transportation.

And I say this as someone who lives near the border. I've heard stories of women transported under fake IDs (illegal immigrants of poor background, brought with promises of well paid jobs as well, but we know these are all lies). There was even a scandal in my town because the (former) mayor and other authorities were involved in these illegal activities and used their position of power to run those operations. Heck I even know the story of someone who used to work for a bus company and how they brought in people who wanted to cross the border, making them pose as tourists to the immigration department. There was a logistic behind it too, and a lot of money involved.

All in all, Vladimir would have a cynical view about it. He's not necessarily proud of the crap he does but neither does it keep him awake at night. It is what it is. He'd think that if those people were stupid enough to believe in those lies, that's their problem.

And though it isn't the case of Rea-tan (it was actually the fault of someone else) maybe it's the first time he actually worries because he knows damn well what happens to those girls. He knows that she's going to end up in the lap of an old depraved man, drugged and forced to do all kinds of nasty things. She's going to be beaten, raped, filmed, and if she's lucky maybe she'll die soon and not suffer anymore.

He's not unaware of the obscene fate that awaits these blissfully ignorant girls, but it wasn't his problem at the time. However, Rea-tan is the granddaughter of his boss's friend and her grandma begged him, crying non-stop, to bring her home. It's his freaking problem now because he made a promise to them and he can't fail. If he shows Zakhaev he's incapable of handling something like this and disappoints him, then he's going to lose a chance to prove himself (keep in mind that I'm talking late 90s and Vladimir had recently gained Zakhaev's favor). Still, deep down he actually likes Rea-tan and doesn't want her to be hurt or traumatized by the aberrant perversions of others. He wants to bring her home to her family and then he'll ask Yuri to help him tie up loose ends.

Rea-tan didn't fall for those scams, even though on a few occasions she told her family her classmates talked about these 'modeling' agencies that were recruiting young girls outside her school. Her grandparents dismissed it as something stupid and that she shouldn't pay any attention to it, that it was all a scam though they wouldn't tell her exactly why— maybe to spare her from some nasty details. Vladimir, however, was more crude and told her the truth. That it was all a lie to ensnare young clueless girls and then take them away to sell them into sexual slavery. She was shocked and disgusted, but nonetheless thankful that he was sincere with her.

But yeah, I would say that Vladimir is an unlikely hero :v

Thanks and you too take care! ;u;

#vladimir makarov #call of duty #modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare #cod mw #fic ref: a mans weakness

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soaptunes · 4 years ago

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Soap’s 2020 AOTY Reviews: JPEGMAFIA - EP!

This EP (!) is really just a collection of all the loose singles Peggy dropped on a roughly monthly basis over the course of 2020. Despite that, and maybe even because of it, it’s still a contender for best rap project of the year.

I feel like I’m getting tired of saying that JPEGMAFIA is one of the most creative artists making experimental hip-hop right now. Even more tired of that appellation is Peggy himself, who on one track here proudly shouts out, “Fuck the underground, I’m going pop.” Of course, on the same song (the raucous, clattering “COVERED IN MONEY!”) he claims he beats his dick when he looks in the mirror and compares his gun to Portia La Rossi’s strap-on, so. Take that as you will.

It’s strange that Peggy’s 2019 album All My Heroes Are Cornballs is over a year old now. That isn’t that long ago, but a lifetime has happened since then, and the thing still sounds more immediate than most projects that dropped this year. The same is true of 2018’s Veteran, but both projects have some songs that fall short. I won’t get specific, this isn’t a review of those albums, but a few tracks on both are experiments that don’t pan out - they get lost in the weeds of harshness and strange samples, they lack strong hooks or funny bars, they follow an obscure groove that’s hard to get a handle on. EP! proves that cut down to its essential moments, a JPEGMAFIA record can be a 25-minute blast.

This is only 8 songs, we can take it track-by-track, which I think we’ll be doing for any EP reviews I do on here.

The first song is “BALD!,” a song that dropped in February, just before the pandemic turned this singles series into a quarantine project. If your first thought is that the beat sounds like something out of an obscure Nintendo racing game, that’s because it is - the main sample here is from Ridge Racer 3D for the 3DS. In pretty much every picture of JPEGMAFIA you can find from before this song’s release, he’s wearing a bandana or sweatband or something around his forehead, but this song literally served as the announcement to his fanbase that he’d shaved his head. This is a fucking hilarious concept for a song to begin with, but the beat is genuinely pretty and Peggy’s flow is merciless. Knocking the breakbeats out from under the synths makes them wash out and sound like the audio equivalent of a shitty screensaver, which I mean in the best way possible.

BEST BAR: “Hairline proof God needs balance, BALD.”

“COVERED IN MONEY!” is a serious contender for song of the year for me. I would absolutely love to watch this guy figure out a beat, because the instrumental on this goes unbelievably hard and simultaneously makes no sense at all. It’s squeaky, stomping, clattering, shambolic, and feels like it’s completely falling apart. Does a beat like this come together in his head first? The drum pattern is borderline nonsensical, did it just come from him messing around in ProTools? I would genuinely love to know, he’s seriously a gifted producer and I wish he’d produce more for other rappers. Somehow Peggy hops into a triplet flow on top of this wonderful mess, the overall impression ending up somewhere in the ballpark of a cartoon character rapping while bouncing on a rusty pogo stick. The man namedrops Ving Rhames, Cannibal Ox, Bernie Mac, and the aforementioned Portia La Rossi all on the same song, and he’s really out for blood on this one, it’s one of his best flows ever. The way he makes the listener wait for the “fuck the underground” line is flawless, he’s slipping between time signatures effortlessly. He does an amazing job of wrangling the herky-jerky rhythms of the beat on the hook, making one of his stickiest choruses yet with the instant-classic line about “borderline dressing in drag.” There’s a beat switch about halfway through the song, which Genius tells me is a second half tilted “The Devil Wears Prada,” but “BALD!” has a lyric about them fucking up his lyrics on Genius, so, you know. It’s not as much fun beat-wise but his bars are just as good, and the song ties up with Peggy repeatedly apologizing and claiming he’s just been “shitted on.” This track is a must-listen, in my opinion, definitely one of the best of the year.

BEST BAR: “I’m covered in money, I’m out for the bag, I flew out the country, borderline dressin’ in drag.”

The sensual R&B of “BODYGUARD!” isn’t a total departure from stuff Peggy has done before - “Jesus Forgive Me, I Am A Thot” had some of those vibes and “Free The Frail” proved that not only can he write a great melodic song, he’s a respectable singer. Bodyguard is Sexy Peggy coming to full fruition though, warm synths draping around soft beats and lyrics that could’ve come out of any 90’s hit. Peggy’s ear for a nice chord progression is evident, and there’s still strange touches like clipped vocals, off-kilter melodies, background chatter, and what sounds like a bicycle chain winding as part of the beat. This one took awhile to grow on me but it definitely did, and it provides a much-needed moment of calm on the EP.

BEST BAR: N/A, but I do like “who’s gonna turn me? Bitches gotta earn me.”

Then comes the remix of “BALD!” with Denzel Curry. The beat kicks in in the same way as it did before, and Peggy’s first verse is identical, but the entire back two-thirds of the song is one furious verse from Denzel. At first, his section gets a more muscular version of the racing game beat, but midway through, Peggy drops the drums out and just lets Denzel do his thing over a skeletal, washed-out instrumental. He spans a wide array of topics, from his stress over violence in his hometown, to loss of touch with his friends, to how cutting his famous dreads let him feel freer and more in control of himself. It’s a very cool verse, and I appreciate him linking it back to the haircut theme in an original way.

BEST BAR: “Dreadlocks had your boy like Sideshow Bob”

“CUTIE PIE!” puts Peggy on a genuine boom-bap beat, with nonstop flexing about his production chops. He gets pretty specific, and the title is apt given how genuinely adorable the sounds on the beat are. This one rolls almost normal for a JPEGMAFIA song, and despite the trove of weird references and the colorful atmosphere, it feels almost like a breakthrough, like he’s being more realistic or candid in his boasting. Like these are genuine points of pride for him and not just braggadocio, you know? Props for the music video here too, it’s definitely one of the best of the bunch. Super distinctive and weird, with Peggy hiding behind cacti and dancing in the middle of the desert with a near-nude woman.

BEST BAR: “Your beats inaccurate, muddy low end and you over-compressin’, ‘cuz you don’t know what you doin’, so y’all be stackin’ it, don’t know the diff so they just hold and attack it.”

The beat on “THE BENDS!” is almost oppressive, orchestra hits and a glacial pace lending the track a dark atmosphere. Autotune slurs Peggy’s bars, and the lyrics are relentlessly cynical and bleak. His actual political beliefs are obfuscated behind humor like “caught a body in a MAGA hat” as usual, but he ends the song with a breathy “fuck Trump,” so that much is clear. The glowing synth lines under the heavy saw bass give the first verse a cinematic quality, the “fantasies, fantasies, fantasies” line only adding to that. This is one of the briefer cuts, and one of the weaker ones too, but even this one has a ton of personality.

BEST BAR: “Strap on my hip ‘cuz I’m bitter and old, Mountain Dew sippers, they hating the scroll”

“ROUGH 7” is EP!’s only true miss, and it’s definitely not Peggy’s fault. The beat is shadowy and evasive, and his verse is ice-cold, but the featured rapper, Tommy Genesis, kind of flattens the song. Her adlibs are cringe-inducing and her rapping is flat and devoid of personality, she tries to do the emo-rap scream double-track but it doesn’t work with her style, especially since what she’s rapping about isn’t tragic or even sad at all. The track picks up instantly once Peggy comes on, as usual he can slither into the cracks of an unusual beat and inject his cartoonish, acrobatic character into it. This is a topically unremarkable verse by JPEGMAFIA standards, but he leans into the beat’s rhythms like on “COVERED IN MONEY!” and it ends up working out in his favor and restabilizing the song by the close. His dejected “wow.” and “huh.” and “nasty.” adlibs help make it too, it’s really kind of ridiculous to compare his adlibs to Genesis’s.

BEST BAR: “Light a square n*** up like Billie Jean.”

Peggy closes the EP with “living single,” probably the second-best song either. He sings a surprisingly heartfelt interpolation of Mariah Carey’s “Always Be My Baby” as the hook, bringing to mind his has-to-be-heard-to-be-believed cover of “Call Me Maybe.” This beat could pass for vaporwave, its slurred groove and downshifted vocal snippets lending an atmosphere to it like Peggy is sitting outside a club smoking after too much alcohol. The stabbing synth riff that breaks through the fuzz keeps him on his toes and lets him work up a relatively speedy flow over the dazed instrumental. I’m not sure why I rate this one so highly, but the vibes are excellent and this is one of the best verses on the project for sure, it’s another one where he really hooks his flow into the off-kilter lurch of the beat. That may be my favorite thing about him as a rapper, the way he can tie himself to a beat and make sure it’s working for him instead of being outshined by it, even if it’s completely insane.

BEST BAR: “Champagne for the pain and sufferin’, fans same color as voice of Tim Duncan”

Hoo, I wrote a ton about that. Maybe I won’t go track by track for the next EP, this is way too long already. In any case, I think due to its brevity and release method this great little record is going to get passed up on a ton of year-end lists, which is a damn shame. It has easily some of JPEGMAFIA’s best work on it - with no time for filler or botched experiments, Peggy delivered a tight, consistent, outrageously entertaining experimental rap joyride.

#jpegmafia #ep!#ep review #album review #alternative music #indie music #rap #hip hop #experimental rap #experimental hip hop

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content-to-convert · 4 years ago

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VIDEO DIDN’T KILL THE RADIO STAR...

VIDEO DIDN’T KILL THE RADIO STAR it just made him dress nicer

By Pat Mellon

Speaking of your brand evolving, PODCASTS are now a wise bullet to have in the arsenal of promotional weapons. In the early 2000's, for instance, you didn't have the option to record and distribute a PODCAST. The technology didn't exist to even IDENTIFY, much less create one- if you typed PODCAST into an email in 2002, it would have been flagged as a misspelling.

But now, thanks to Audioblogging, re-branded as PODCASTING thanks to the iPOD, you can reach a targeted captive audience in a car on a long commute, with content that they've actually sought out. It's essentially a radio infomercial for the lifestyle of your product, without the PAID-PROGRAMMING aftertaste. Plenty of people have been slow to warm to the idea of such self-promotion and have waited to see if the technology and its effectiveness sustained or if it waned, the way QR codes did, or video discs did until the invention of the DVD. It can be an amazingly powerful part of your brand.

Many rejected podcasting, as I did initially, as a waste of energy. In fairness, early on when there were no networks for podcasting and its business model was less focused than now, it smacked of self-congratulatory volunteer work. I saw it as an infringement on my profession. I have 15 years of radio hosting experience. I saw podcasts as competition. In my short-sighted view then, I didn't see the full potential of a podcast. I just saw it as people wanting my job. But as time went on, I began to see the ways, at least in terms of in-car entertainment, that podcasting was the future. And like the cryptic fortune cookie says, "Kill Your Darlings". Or maybe go with the less-confusing, "Reinvent Your Business Constantly. The End Goal May Be The Same But The Tools and Methods Evolve Constantly" which is a Ken Tucker quote I saw on a Snapple Cap. Or even the more direct, "You Have To Reinvent To Stay Fresh and In The Game" which Madonna said once.

But early on, I saw it as the enemy - the way news journalists must have felt when FREELANCERS started getting a lot of the work in the late 90's. I thought, "If all you need to broadcast is a computer and an opinion, why the hell did I major in Broadcasting? It's like everyone becoming a Youtuber or a Social Media Influencer (seriously, that is NOT a good name. It's just saying what you're doing. It lacks creativity, like naming the glass thing you drink out of a "glass". Or the room with the bed a "bedroom". Or the thing you swing on a "swing". Or the... Sorry-I'll move on.) Anybody can become a Social Media Influencer these days, (and if they're under 14 and haven't been trying for half their lives then you might want to make sure they're breathing) and that means fame, sometimes money, but more important: LIKES. I overheard my 8 year-old playing with her friends and they were pretending there was a genie or something granting wishes and one girl asked for a pony, and another asked for a house of chocolate, and my daughter asked for a million LIKES on her video. LIKES are currency for pre-teen popularity. And LIKES or even merely PAGE VIEWS can be currency in the grown-up world of business. My point is that anyone with a computer and a camera can make money on Youtube if they hustle. It's simply the new normal. It's great, if not dangerous. We've yet to see the fallout of a generation raised on Youtubing, unless, of course, you count cautionary tales like Logan Paul or Jo Jo Siwa, both of whom are rich. It's simply another entertainment option for kids. I kinda thought podcasting was that, but for adults who only wanted quasi-fame; to show-off. But it's bigger than that.

If you're a plumber, for instance, and you want to maximize business, you probably want a decent social media footprint, some solid YELP reviews, and maybe even a podcast. Toilet clogged? Click here for an interview with master plumbers from all over. It's not the ONLY thing you should do. It's ONE of the things you should do.

On the consumer side, you have to realize that traffic, especially the bumper-to-bumper kind, is GOLD to a radio talk show host. People listen the most in their cars, so DJ's in New York and Los Angeles, the #1 and #2 radio markets depending on who you ask*, for instance, who entertain on the radio, are always on their toes to stay funny and relevant because it's so easy to push a button and change the station.

Then suddenly there was a new game in town. People were bypassing the radio altogether and plugging external sources into car sound systems, removing the commercials and unwanted Morning Zoo shenanigans, and rendering my entire college education and training void. My only hope was wishing death to the podcast movement, which I think I did a couple of times on the radio accompanied by a sound effect of a toilet flushing (Take THAT, Podcasting!). It didn't work. I kept hearing the word. Podcast. (eerie voice) PODD CAAAST! My head was in the sand. People would say to me, "you should do a podcast" and I'd cringe and wildly swing fists at imaginary ghosts who were accusing me of "Resting on your laurels" and "Holding on too tight.”

It took a while, but I get the appeal and, more importantly, the power of the Podcast. It's like a book-on-tape for the 21st century- 10 times as cool, though, because it's technologically relevant, and can be different every time you listen. So we agree that podcasts are real. And we acknowledge that there is room for many things on the dashboard of a car, be them outlets, or additional buttons. And we agree that the the way we do business is always changing and we have to adapt to some degree. So why all the hub bub? Because we can't have an intelligent conversation about the delicate existence of Podcasts without talking about Shane Gillis, the comedian who was hired and fired by Saturday Night Live in the same week last year. We need to understand the power of what it was that torpedoed his streetcar (tune into Mixed Metaphors with Pat Mellon Tuesdays on The Podd Couple, right after Poddamnit at 8, and Pod of Thunder with Gene Simmons at 8:17) He and a buddy do this show, this podcast, it's like a radio show but you don't listen to it on your grandpa's Victrola, you tether your MP3 player to the radio inside grandpa's Camry, and there's bad language, which there never is on traditional, boring old dumb talk radio, so right away, it's awesome (honestly, the only difference between Howard Stern on radio and Howard Stern on satellite is the F word) and the internet allows curses and take that, Mr. Suit and Tie, and this is going to be amazing. And on one particular show from 2018, Gillis said "chink" when describing someone in Chinatown. Not a huge scandal, but I guess you'd have to ask Roseanne Barr if the internet can get you into to any kind of trouble. She was exiled from the the entire US for a social media post that mentioned race and monkeys. And the same new normal that allows John Q. Anybody to do a podcast ALSO watches everything you do online and will sink you if it sees something it does not like. America can be confusing that way. Freedom of speech and freedom of complaining about freedom of speech are always at each other's throats, it seems. And you can't have it both ways. The guy who alerted the world to Bill Cosby's dating rituals online is loved by many but is also shunned by others, but that guy knows what he did and he knows not to complain about the ones who, well, complain. It's the price you pay.

The point is, you need to constantly be hustling and using all of technology’s modern tools to get your product out (they’re not burning DVD’s anymore) and maybe one of those avenues is a podcast with salty language, and maybe that podcast exists among your body of work that clients can enjoy whenever they want.

But we live in a new age of retroactive outrage. Eddie Murphy was on SNL and is arguably the most talented person the show has produced. He did a stand-up special in which he explores “What if Mr. T were a Faggot?” It was inflammatory and it was insensitive and it was homophobic (though that buzzword was still a decade from conception) because the premise of the joke- the attribution of homosexual behavior to a big, strong, black man being marginalized as solely predatory sodomy - crossed the line. When I spell it out like that it looks horrible. But it’s a simple comedic device: assigning unlikely behavior to someone for comedic purposes. It’s the fish-out-of-water gag. It’s why we had Mork, and Alf, and Balkie from Perfect Strangers. It’s Freaky Friday. It’s why The Rock playing a babysitter or a tooth fairy is funny. Murphy did this AFTER he was on SNL. But if has been released before he auditioned, do you think he’d have been hired?

Of course he would have. Because the Mr. T thing was a small part of that special (though, I recall, an extremely quotable part) and the people who didn’t like or appreciate the language didn’t have the bionic megaphone of the internet so they could get their outrage all over your conscience. The point is that your podcast is a reflection of your brand. You have to weigh your desire to speak freely and loosely with your desire to keep the Cancel Culture at bay. At a MINIMUM, though, you should keep things clean for your clients, listeners, and most importantly, your potential customers. Shane Gillis missed out of being on SNL and fame, instead on infamy because he broke one of society's biggest rules:he said something controversial out loud. Granted, it was in bad taste, but if that were a crime half of us would be in jail. It's just important to remember that your language on a work-based podcast should be professional, which I realize cannot be defined easily, but maybe stay away from slang and cursing. Just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD.

#podcast comedy hilarious

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haddonfieldproject · 4 years ago

Text

<<PREVIOUS⏺<<CONTENTS>>

1.2.9 HALLOWEEN NIGHT/NOVEMBER 1st 5:13 AM

Warren County, Illinois

While that call did not succeed in waking up Kyndra and Zoey, the aforementioned Diego was woken up, however, by his co-worker Quinn, as he lay napping on a tattered sofa in the SuperFuel Deluxe's break room.

“Diego!”

Diego grunted.

“Diego, get up,” Quinn slapped him with a blue rag.

Diego sat up and rubbed his eye.

“Customers.” Quinn said.

Diego blinked awake. The TV was on. A man with fake looking blonde hair stood in front of a map coated with splotches of reds, oranges, and yellows.

“ Lightning strikes have been reported just about everywhere as this severe cell moves through Warren and Carpenter counties. Listen up if you are in the areas of Russelville, Haddonfield, Langdon, Tuckerville...you are under a Severe Thunderstorm Warning and Tornado Watch ‪until 7:45 am‬. Check out this picture someone posted on social media, that's softball sized hail folks...this reported by Zeke, a custodian working late ‪night tonight‬ at Smith's Grove High School, so be careful out there folks.”

Thunder struck and the lights in the shop momentarily dimmed. Customers, Diego thought, in this storm?

Diego stood up and stretched and then grabbed his Mountain Dew he had swiped from the coolers a few hours ago. Stepping into the shop, he sure enough saw some guy was talking to Quinn, standing next to an old-ass station wagon. The kind that had the wood panels on the side. The bottom was eaten away with rust. Diego was surprised the thing was even running at all, and one of the first things he noticed were the California plates. The lifeless remains of a tire lay snaked around a severely dented rim on the front passenger side. Must have hit a curb without even braking, he thought.

Quinn pulled a clipboard off the dark blue tool bench next to him and said, “We actually just had one of these die on us last week and it's back there in the yard. We can replace the tire and the rim and fix up those tie rods and struts in a jiff. You got really got lucky, because otherwise you'd be waiting at least two days for parts.”

The man's eyes grew wide, “Are you serious?! That's a miracle if I ever heard one.”

“I'll say,” Diego chimed in, “What year is this?”

“1989 Ford Country Squire” Jack Tate said proudly.

“Wow,” Diego laughed. “Quinn's right, we literally just got one of these in, the drive train fell apart in our hands, literally fell apart. But it was much more beat up than this.”

“You don't say!?” Jack put his hands on his hips.

“I couldn't help but recognize the California plates,” Diego motioned to the back of the car, dropping to one knee to examine the wheel well.

“Yep,” Jack said, rubbing his chin, “We're from a small town in Northern California, between San Jose and Sacramento. It's called Summer Glen.”

“Bet you don't get much snow there,” Diego said from under the car.

“Nope..but I bet you guys do.”

Diego appeared from under the lopsided tire with a smile, “Buckets,” he replied, “And it wreaks havoc on an undercarriage.”

“I bet it does” Jack replied.

Diego stood up and wiped his hands on his coveralls. “Well, not so much the snow,” he said, “it's the salt they salt the roads with. Eats the bottom of the car all up.”

“So what do you do?” Jack asked.

“Heated car wash,” Diego said, reaching out his hand to Quinn for the clipboard.

“I saw signs for those on the way in, all over the place up here,” Jack said, “But I saw signs but then it looked like empty parking lots.”

Quinn smiled and handed Diego the clipboard, “With steam coming up?”

“I didn't see any steam,” Jack replied.

“They're probably turned off right now.” Diego remarked, looking over the paper on the clipboard.

Quinn whistled, “Whew don't I know it. It's been hotter than a hippo with a hernia.”

“Hmmm,” Jack grunted in agreement, “Climate Change.”

Quinn hissed, “Hogwash! I don't believe that bullshit for a second.”

Jack quickly changed the subject, “Anyways—err--how do car washes help your car in the winter?”

Quinn nodded, “You drive over the jets and they hose off your undercarriage with heated water”

“That's fascinating,” Jack smiled.

“Well,” Diego sighed, “We have the parts already so we'll charge you a $90 restocking fee, that's mostly 'cuz Quinn here has to run out in the rain and slip the rim and tie-rods off the old car.”

“Aww man, that's cold,” Quinn exclaimed.

“Good news is,” Diego continued, “You really didn't tear her up all that much besides that, you knocked some things loose but we can tighten her up. The labor will cost you $400 easy,, being on the weekend now, and then $140 for the tire, $126 for the rim, taxes and disposal and you're still under a grand.”

“That's wonderful,” Jack said, placing his hands back on his hips.

“What brings you out here?” Quinn asked, “Especially in this storm.”

“My wife got a job out here, she ‪starts Monday‬ so we wanted to get out here as quick as we could....drove straight through.” Jack remarked.

“Wow,” Quinn breathed.

“I need those parts Quinn,” Diego remarked, opening the top of the tool bench and pulling out a socket wrench.

“Oh right!” Quinn smiled. He walked over to the far wall and grabbed a yellow rain coat which hung on a peg next to a Calendar, still on the month of October. A model in a bikini presided over the tenth month. “What job did your wife get out here?” He called from across the room.

“She's going to be the new Chief of Medicine at the hospital,” Jack replied, his eyes on Diego as Diego crouched back down toward the car.

“Oh she's gonna replace old man Mixter!” Quinn remarked.

Jack shrugged.

“Hurry Quinn, this guy said he's got places to be,” Diego said from under the car.

“Oh right,” Quinn said and stepped through the side door that led into a small foyer and eventually either out to the front parking lot or back into the lot.

“So your wife's a doctor eh,” Diego's voice came from under the car, “so what do you do?”

“Well I'm a doctor too,” Jack replied.

Diego emerged from the car holding a twisted piece of metal, “Really? What kind?”

“Well I'm a psychiatrist,” Jack said.

Diego slid back under the car, “A shrink huh?” He said, “You opening up an office here or something?”

“Well no,” Jack laughed, “I'm actually going to take some time off and write a book.”

Diego re-emerged with more twisted metal, “Cool,” he said, “What about?”

“Hypnosis,” Jack said matter-of-factly.

Diego cocked his head to one side, “Really? You do that shit?”

“Swear by it,” Jack replied.

There was an awkward moment of silence and then they both laughed.

🎃

Meanwhile, Ophelia Tate had purchased a small and incredibly over-priced pack of baby wipes and was giving herself the best attempt at a bath she could muster inside the surprisingly clean restroom of the SuperFuel Deluxe. After she finished, she sat on top of a toilet and took an opportunity to catch up on social media.

While she sat in the stall reading about “11 Celebrities That You Would Never Assume Were Gay”, her son Damon stepped into the Food Mart, and wiped his perfectly white sneakers on the welcome mat. An angry looking Indian man looked up as the door bells jingled and then went back to fiddling with some electronic device behind the counter. Damon's first thought was, Why does he keep all that bullet proof glass open?

He casually turned to his left, starting down an aisle chock full of every imaginable brand of potato chip or chocolate or fruity candy---browsing but not really browsing, more just wasting time. The aisle came to a dead-end at a wall of coolers full of soda and water and fruit juices. Damon stopped and caught himself staring at a row of YooHoos when he heard what sounded like a snickering to his left.

There was a small hallway to the left of the coolers, veering off next to an ATM machine. He stepped in front of the ATM machine and peered down the hallway, at once spotting the cause of the commotion. Three young boys were standing in the corner next to a door marked: UTILITY, NO TRESSPASSING. One was a freckled redheaded kid with shiny braces dressed as batman, another was a blonde haired blue eyed boy dressed like Darth Vader, and the last was a much younger looking kid with brown hair and brown eyes dressed like some kind of zombie. They were huddled together, their masks all hanging limply around their necks, crowded around a magazine featuring a hot blonde titled RED RABBIT. The cover-girl’s name was apparently Misty Dawn, and according to the cover caption, she was “Back and Ready for More Action”.

The boys caught sight of Damon and looked up startled. The freckled redhead kid's smile disappeared and his eyes grew narrow, “Hey!” He called, “What are you looking at?”

Damon was unfazed. “Looks like a couple of pervs to me,” he said, stepping toward them.

This apparently took them aback because they said nothing in retort.

“Seriously,” Damon said, pointing at the cover, “How old are you guys?”

Blonde Vader who held the magazine in his hand pressed it to his chest as if it were the most valuable thing on the earth and looked up at Damon with his mouth open. Little zombie boy took a step back. But BatFreckle was not amused. “Why don't you go Fuck Off!”

Damon frowned, “That's not very nice language. Is everyone in this town pervs like you?”

“Where are you---” little zombie started in but BatFreckle cut him off.

“Don't you know that Warren County is the home of the Rabbit-in-Red? What hole did you crawl out of freak-show?”

“Rabbit-in-what?” Damon asked and with lightning speed, snatched the magazine from Blonde Vader.

“Hey!” The wannabe Sith Lord exclaimed.

“Rabbit-In-Red Productions is the world's third largest manufacturer of pornographic media dipshit, and the company is based here in Warren County.” BatFreckle spat.

“So it is a county full of pervs,” Damon said, opening the magazine and thumbing through the pages.

“My dad said a local bunch of church folks fought Mr. Martini in court over decency laws so much, the legal fees drove the church out of business.” Blonde Vader said.

“Shi-yeah,” BatFreckle said, “That's why old man Taylor's up in his house on the hill crying like a pussy all the time.”

“Mr. Who?” Damon asked, closing the magaize and handing it back to Blonde Vader.

BatFreckle snatched it instead and flipped to the table of contents, pointing to a ‪small black‬ and white picture of a middle-aged overweight man. “Lou Martini. He's the CEO of Rabbit-in-Red nimrod, he owns half the county and is like, the richest man in Illinois outside of Chicago.”

“Where are you from?” Little zombie found his place to ask.

“My parents and I are moving here from California, we just got in tonight, got a flat tire.” Damon replied.

“California! That's cool!” Blonde Vader exclaimed.

BatFreckle rolled his eyes, “Beat it California!” He said, “We were just checking out Spitz' mom in this month's issue.”

He and Blonde Vader started laughing.

“That's not my mom!” Little zombie, who's name was obviously Spitz, whined.

“Don't lie, you know it's her!” BatFreckle teased.

Blonde Vader turned the page, and the centerfold fell out, revealing the cover-girl Misty Dawn laying on a bed of white fur naked except for a silver belly chain and and black stilettos. A paper fell out as well and fluttered almost magestically to the floor. Damon bent down and picked it up. It was a flier that featured another picture of the model. The headline read:

SEE COVER GIRL

MISTY DAWN

TUE-SUN

OCTOBER AND NOVEMBER

AT THE

RABBIT-IN-RED LOUNGE

HADDONFIELD

“Look Spitz” BatFreckle said in jest, “You can see your mom's show tonight if you want.”

“It's not my mom!” Spitz whined again.

“Why don't you leave him alone?” Damon said.

“Why don't you suck my balls?” BatFreckle snapped.

“Chill out Lonnie!” Blonde Vader slapped BatFreckle's shoulder and then looked at Damon “Lonnie can be a douche sometimes, I'm Richie Marshall, this is Lonnie Elamb, and he's Spitz. Welcome to Haddonfield.”

Lonnie groused and leaned back against the wall, opening up the porn.

“Cool, my name is Damon.”

“How old are you?” Richie asked.

“17, you?”

“I just turned 12, Lonnie is 16 but he's still in 8th grade...he has to go to special classes at the Middle School.” Richie and Spitz cackled.

“I have dyslexia fuck face!” Lonnie said, throwing the RED RABBIT at his friend.

“I'm 8,” Spitz said proudly.

“What are you doing out of the house at this time of night?” Damon asked, picking up the magazine from the floor and handing it back to Richie.

“Lonnie has his drivers license now, and I just snuck out of my house.” Richie said.

“What about you?” Damon asked, turning toward Spitz.

“His mom's a whore so she leaves him alone to go out fucking for quarters!” Lonnie called.

“Stop it Lonnie! She is not!” Spitz cried.

Damon ignored him and Spitz continued, “My mom works late nights at Jamie Lee's Diner, she doesn't get home till morning. My grandma watches me but she fell asleep and I...I snuck out too.”

“We just ate there coming in,” Damon said smiling.

“My mom is Taylor,” Spitz said.

“She was our waitress.” Damon replied.

“His mom's a slut!” Lonnie called.

Spitz started to whine but Damon put an arm around him, “Why do you hang out with this asshole? Is there anything else to do in this place than look at naked chicks?”

“There's an arcade in the driver's lounge, but I don't have any quarters.” Spitz said.

“Come on,” Damon said, “Show me where it is.”

Richie tossed Lonnie the magazine to followed Damon and Spitz. Lonnie caught it, rolling his eyes, he was perfectly happy right there looking at boobs.

🎃

Damon stepped into the shop area of the SuperFuel Deluxe and shook off the rain. There he saw his dad sitting on a folding chair listening, as another man held a lamp under their family station wagon from the Jurassic era. A third man was under the car working. The man holding the lamp was droning on and on about baseball. Damon didn't really care for baseball, or any sports for that matter.

“And then the Sox brought in their reliever, that guy Stroop, and he just completely fell apart. He hit two batters and walked another, and before you knew it the bases were loaded.” Quinn was saying.

Damon walked up to his dad. “Is that so---” Jack replied, but was startled when Damon tapped him on the shoulder.

“What is it son? You're not supposed to be back here.” Jack looked up at Damon.

“There's an arcade inside and I was wondering if you had any change on you?” Damon asked.

Jack leaned to one side and pulled his wallet out, withdrawing a 20 dollar bill. “Can they make change?” He asked.

“There's a change machine,” Damon said flatly, taking the money.

“You can play all of that, what the hell, it's been a long few days,” Jack said smiling.

Damon stuffed the twenty in his front pocket and turned, “Thanks,” he said.

“Tell your mom I'm in here,” Jack called after him.

“Haven't seen her,” Damon said as he walked out, without turning.

Quinn started up again, “So you know that big Dominican for the Cubs, Agu...Agu...something.”

“Aguilar,” Diego called from under the car.

“Yeah, Aguilar,” Quinn corrected himself. “Well he steps up to the plate and first pitch...bam!”

NEXT>>

#halloween #halloween franchise #michael myers #horror #horror writing #haddonfield #horror film #fan fiction #fan writing #spooky

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ladykf-writes · 5 years ago

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Fanfic Writer Appreciation (and a little self love)

Sooooo, as talked about I wanted to do a little promo. I may not always be my favorite writer, but I try to be one of my cheerleaders. And well, if you’re here you obviously have some interest in what I’m up to.

SO! Here’s a list of my currently-published WIPs and some info about them, in the order that I’ve updated them, most recent to oldest.

Feel free to ask questions about any of them!

Dog Whistle (Ao3 || FFN) - started off as a prompt from @snackarey when I reblogged some Soulmate AUs. This one was a prompt for soulmates (Zack/Kunsel) who felt what each other felt - like pain. Needless to say, this went into a canon divergent AU where Kunsel felt some of what Zack was going through when Hojo got a hold of him after Nibelheim. And saved him, setting off an ever-increasing list of revolutionary consequences. It’s nearly 58K, and though I’m a little stuck I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes.

Dewprism: Journey to the [Relic] (Ao3 || FFN) - this actually has a lot more written than I’ve posted, I just got a little frustrated because well... the fandom is teeny tiny and there’s no real feedback. But! It’s an interesting piece. It’s a semi-novelization where I’m taking the old PS1 Classic from Squaresoft, Threads of Fate/Dewprism and merging the two storylines. Basically... you can’t play the game anymore unless you got it from the PSN for your PSP or... PS2, I think? Or emulate it, of course, you can do that. And I wanted to bring the experience to more people, because it’s got such a great story.

It’s Not a Game (Ao3 || FFN) - this is my Avengers/FF7 crossover, and funny story, it was actually born out of a comment back on my old Genesis RP blog about how Genesis would totally be Tony Stark’s favorite character if he played Crisis Core. It’s turned into a full blown fixit I have a type and I actually have like, 90% of the next chapter done, it just doesn’t feel quite right so I haven’t posted it. And am, of course, stuck. There’s a case of choice paralysis here; the premise is that, in the MCU, FF7 is a series like it is in our world, and Tony is a fan. So he goes to make a simulation to do a self-insert... only he somehow transports himself (and Bruce) to a dimension where it’s real. A “Stark-insert” someone called it; and it does use a lot of “Self-Insert” tropes, actually. There’s just so many ways it could go that I’m stuck on choosing exactly how to progress here.

Party of Five (Ao3 || FFN) - the MMO AU! This was actually originally a prompt @up-sideand-down got, that I got permission to take off with. It’s a modern AU AGSZC where they meet online playing this MMO I made up that’s based off of FF7 and modeled after a mashup of like, me studying WoW and my experiences playing SWTOR. I’ve actually got some ideas of where it’s going, I just got too caught up in technicalities and need to reroute it back to the relationships going on.

Welcome to FF7 (series link, Ao3) - this is me hashing out basically what I think went down pre-games. Most of it is headcanon, I cannot stress that enough. It’s based off of the little we know, of course, but there’s just so much we don’t that it’s mostly headcanon. Tons of OCs. It’s a whole series, and they overlap - different sections that follow different departments, mostly. The base story is Welcome to ShinRa (Ao3 || FFN) and that follows the man who will become President Shinra from back when they first discover mako energy. I’ve also got Welcome to the Science Department (Ao3 || FFN) which starts off with college students Gast and Grimoire and how they get drawn into the beginnings of what becomes ShinRa Electric.

And last but not least, honorable mention to Times of Change (Ao3) - this was actually a piece inspired by @deadcatwithaflamethrower‘s Re-Entry series. I desperately need to reread that before I can hope to continue this, but... one day. One day.... I don’t suggest reading it right now, my headcanons have changed and it needs an overhaul. But you’ll see eventually.

And now... the WIPs you haven’t seen. (Under a cut)

By fandom, just to keep things straight, but in no particular order otherwise.

Compilation of FF7

The Snowball Effect (Ao3 || FFN) ... sequel? continuation? - as one of the gift exchange presents I’ve just done this past month, it is definitely standalone as is, but if I ever figure out where I want to take it, I’ll continue that one. It was just far too much fun.

The Price of Freedom - the sequel to To Be Human, which... I’m looking forward to, but I really burnt myself out on TBH so it’s going to be longer than anticipated before I approach this one. TBH definitely stands on its own, but there were some loose ends left to tie up, so we’ll see how that goes. And when it goes, when I’m ready to approach that again. TBH needs some editing, too... lots of work there.

The Unnamed Pokemon/FF7 crossover that I’ve talked about for... a couple years now (yikes) but now actually have a plot for. It’s very interesting to me, putting Pokemon on Gaia, and seeing how that changes everything. Because like, they’d have presumably used Mew’s DNA since there’s no Jenova (I can’t see them using Deoxys, which would be the closer parallel) and since there’s no Chaos, Grimoire is still alive. Which means no extra Drama between Lucrecia and Vincent - and really, there shouldn’t be the stress between Vincent and Hojo over her being sick because Mew would theoretically be much more compatible with humans than Jenova was.

What I’m saying is Seph has three parents and at least one set of grandparents and a much more stable Sephiroth (and Genesis and Angeal, thanks to Lucrecia teaming up with Gillian) leads to some very interesting changes. Like deciding they don’t want to fight the Wutai war anymore. >_>

Hold My Flower - a timetravel fic featuring our one and only flowergirl, who has had enough of people messing up her planet and refuses to just... let it die. She is, unquestionably, a force of nature. No fragile flower to be found here, this is the gal you see in the OG who threatened a mob boss and meant it. Heaven help anyone who gets in her way. She’s going to save the world. Possibly in a Turk Suit, don’t look at me.

The Long Game - Reeve goes back in time, and holy crap this one is a monster I am truly intimidated by so it’s gonna take a while for me to get going on that. XD But basically, similar premise to the above - the world isn’t healing and someone has to do something, so Reeve is nominated due to his position in ShinRa and potential to... he’d say “influence” but let’s call a spade a spade - manipulate people and events to a more favorable outcome.

A third BIT fic is one that I started writing with my friend @askshivanulegacy back in... damn, somewhere between 2011-2013, before we switched to writing SWTOR fic together. It’s one where Zack is sent back in time, and the differences in him post-Hojo change things even before he can start deliberately changing anything. But I got permission to take and remake that, so I intend to, one day. It was Good Stuff. And you can never have too much timetravel.

Dragon Ball Z

So, this is an oooooold fandom of mine - the first fanfics I ever wrote (under a different name, no I’m not telling XD it was ten years ago) were for DBZ, and definitely the first ones I ever read, back in the days of dial up. And I read a couple interesting takes on Chichi/Vegeta fic... and I was talking with @vorpalgirl about it and said I’d love to try my hand at something with that one day. I think they have the potential to be a really great pair (don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the canon pairings but those two have a lot of potential) so... yeah someday I might dip my toes back into Z. It’s on the wishlist, as well as reviving and cleaning up an old unfinished work of mine. Someday~

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Seven Years Lost - this one I’ve been debating a long time, and even did a little on! It’s basically how I rationalize what happens when Link pulls the Master Sword out and - well, spoilers but it’s a really old game so - when he comes out as a teenager and is immediately able to handle a nearly-adult body. It involves a dreamscape scenario where he communicates with his past incarnations and learns from them, and from sharing dreams with Zelda due to their bond.

Sailor Moon (manga/Crystal based)

Second Chances - I read a lot of SM fanfic back in the day, and my favorite ones were... more real? Like, there were more consequences to these 14 year old kids out there fighting for their lives and sometimes losing them. I’d like to tell a story through Minako/Venus’ eyes primarily, covering what that’s like, and then I also just really want a happy ending for the senshi/shittenou? So... yay canon divergence, lol. You guys know the deal by now. XD

Star Wars: Legends Era

United We Stand - SWTOR fanfic, baby! Basically, I’m just dying to see the eight classes cross over each other, and I will bend canon to do it. For anyone that’s played the original class story lines, there is some cross over but believe me when I say there were huge opportunities that were let drop by nature of the game. Just with the two Jedi stories alone... but that’s #spoilers for a not-as-old game so I’ll leave that be and only elaborate if asked.

(And do feel free to ask about any of these! I’d love to hash them out more.)

#writer ramble #rambles #ff7 #avengers #ff7/avengers #threads of fate #dewprism #star wars #pokemon #pokemon/ff7 #dbz #sailor moon #swtor

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murasaki-murasame · 5 years ago

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Thoughts on Fruits Basket 2019 Episode 14: “That’s A Secret”

Me before this episode: “I’m a big strong adult who can DEFINITELY deal with watching Momiji’s backstory and the grave visit get animated in the same episode :)”

Me two seconds into this episode: *insert sad cat picture here*

Anyway this episode is dead even though it killed me and now I’m typing this from beyond the grave.

Thoughts under the cut.

Right off the bat, this episode actually gave us a new set of OP and ED themes, which I’d been curious about for a while. They hadn’t said anything about it for the longest time, and then they just announced it a day or two ago, lol.

The new OP is really going to need some time to grow on me. I can’t help but feel like it should have been swapped with the first OP, since this is where things keep getting heavier. I know there’s some people who disliked how slow and mellow the first OP was, but I loved it, and this super energetic one is kind of hard to get used to.

But the new ED is absolutely AMAZING and I love it. The song feels very similar in tone to the first ED, which is nice because that was also a really nice song, but the visuals are a real departure from basically everything else in the show. From what I’ve seen people seem a bit divided on how they feel about that as an artistic choice, but I love it. I really like how it seemed to be real footage of figurines and dioramas mixed with digital backgrounds and effects. Which reminded me a bit of some visual tricks used in Sarazanmai last season [fun fact that I definitely haven’t just been waiting for an excuse to bring up: the person who did the zodiac animal character designs for this series, Kayoko Ishikawa, is also the person who did the character animation designs in Sarazanmai!]. Though I think my favourite part is the very first shot of Tohru.

Anyway, even though I knew exactly what was coming with this episode, and it was more or less exactly what I expected, it still managed to take me by surprise with just how emotional it was.

For the record, this adapted chapters 23 and 24 of the manga, which were also adapted into episode 15 of the 2001 series. Which also means that the reboot’s just gotten to the end of volume 4 of the manga. I still think we’re looking at about 70 episodes total for the reboot, give or take.

It’s pretty interesting to compare this to the 2001 version, since it’s technically a less drastic difference than the Valentine’s episode, but it still highlights how the 2001 anime made the conscious choice to remove any foreshadowing or character development that hadn’t been resolved in the manga by about volume 8 or so, which is what was out when the 2001 anime was made. From what I remember of the 2001 anime version of this material, they did a really good job with the Momiji side of things, since they kept it pretty 1:1 with the manga, but their version of the grave visit chapter really suffered because so much of Kyo’s character development and depth got taken out across the entire original adaptation, which in particular really took out a whole layer of foreshadowing from this part. It was still fine, from what I remember, but it lacked the sense of mystery and intrigue that the reboot version has, and the whole scene with Kyo and Tohru at the very end of the episode was entirely removed in the 2001 version.

It’s a much less noticeable change than how the 2001 anime had to basically remove a whole chapter or so of content for their Valentine’s day episode since that part of the manga was so heavy with foreshadowing, but at least if you know where things go with the story in the long run, you can really notice all the intentional set-up going on in this episode.

I’m really excited for anime-only people to eventually figure out what’s going on and what exactly this episode is hinting at, especially since more people seem to be starting to develop theories about what they think’s up with Kyo and Yuki’s backstories and how they tie into Tohru and her mother. So I wonder how they’ll all feel about this when they can look back on it later.

I’m definitely biased since I’ve read the manga, and I’ve seen a lot of anime-only people still make largely incorrect guesses about what’s going on after this episode, but wow does a lot of this foreshadowing seem super obvious in hindsight, lol. It’s not a bad thing, but when you know what’s going on, you can really tell how heavily they’re hinting at stuff. In particular the bit with Yuki at the end made it seem really obvious that he’s the one who gave Tohru the hat, but I feel like that’s something that anime-only people might end up forgetting about compared to all the stuff going on with Kyo.

And on the note of that whole final scene, I loved the abrupt cut to the new ED. It was such a neat shift from how every episode thus far has ended with a relatively mellow and slow lead-in to the ED theme. And most [but not all] of the previous episodes had ended with fun and light-hearted scenes. So having this sudden and relatively surprising admission of guilt from Kyo and an abrupt cut to a new ED theme was really neat.

But of course, the True MVP [tm] of this episode was Momiji, our resident precious bunny boy. I’ve been bracing myself for this exact episode for weeks now, but oh man it still hurts so much. I know the reboot’s been really good with it’s dramatic moments, but I wasn’t expecting how intense and visceral everything about his backstory would be. I had to check back at how the manga presented it, and even though it’s mostly the same, the reboot’s a lot more explicit about showing that Momiji’s mother started engaging in self-harm after he was born. In the manga there’s one panel that shows her vaguely laying on the ground with one of her arms tied in bandages, but that’s about it. And in the manga, the bit with Momiji and his dad didn’t really have a clear setting, but the reboot makes it very clear that they’re at the hospital after his mother hurt herself. Which made it hurt all the more.

I also feel like they were a little more visually explicit with Tohru’s flashbacks to her mother’s death and her going to the hospital. That was also presented as a set of small and relatively vague panels in the manga, but the reboot went all in on making sure you knew exactly what was going on. Like always, I think both approaches work well for their different mediums, but I appreciate the reboot’s commitment to giving every scene a sense of time and place, especially when it comes to flashbacks. It gives it a very different feel to the manga at times, which helps it feel fresh and interesting.

Momiji’s backstory is pretty interesting and noteworthy, since even though we’ve already had tragic backstories in this series before, this is basically the first time where the series really starts to specifically explore and develop this theme of parent/child bonds, and how the curse plays into all that. I think that the way the manga handles the theme of being born ‘with a curse’ and how that impacts your relationship with your parents is actually my number one favourite thing about it, and something that I think it does almost perfectly. It’s a big part of why it means so much to me as a story. It’s not really something you see explored often in media, especially not with this level of nuance, and from as many different angles as this series looks at it from as it goes on.

Trust me when I say that I have A LOT I want to say about this whole theme of the story, and this is definitely where it first becomes a big part of it all, but specifically I’m waiting for the Kyo arc to happen later in this season before I really let loose all my thoughts on it. Pretty much like 90% of the main cast have different sorts of messy relationships with their families, and with the state of their bodies, but Kyo’s story is the one that speaks to me the most. Going by when I think the reboot will get to that part, I’ll probably spend most of my post on the season 1 finale talking about that, which would be a pretty fitting place to do it.

Though on the topic of Momiji, I do want to say that the scene where Tohru hugs him and they both cry together is one of the most memorable and hard-hitting parts of the manga. It’s such an raw and emotional example of the sort of acceptance and love that Tohru represents to the Somas. With how many examples we get across the whole story of the zodiac animal forms being a curse that the characters are hurt by, and which cut them off from other people, the image of Tohru hugging Momiji’s bunny form, and Momiji letting himself cry in his bunny form and be hugged by her, really just goes to show why Tohru is such a pivotal character in all this, and why she in particular is the one who manages to get through to the Somas so well.

Also, before I forget, people are talking about the whole debacle with his accent again, and my two cents on the matter are that he definitely comes across like he’s either a native German speaker, or he’s intentionally acting like one, and I tend to lean toward the former. Especially early on, he uses German very fluently and frequently, and there’s a whole running gag of him misspeaking simple phrases in Japanese, so either he’s genuinely more comfortable with German and not fully fluent in Japanese yet, or he’s trying to come across that way intentionally. It’s also worth noting that Momiji even says in this episode that his little sister ‘isn’t very good at speaking Japanese yet’. Basically I don’t think we’re really meant to question the in-universe logistics of whether or not it’d actually make sense for Momiji or his sister to speak German as their first language when it seems like they were both born and raised in Japan, lol. [And on the note of his sister, the short moment of her looking back at him while her mother pulls her away is another one of those little details that make it clear they’re setting up for way later scenes]

Anyway, this was an incredible episode, and it makes me really happy that they’re committing to adapting the entire thing, so all of the foreshadowing in this episode will be followed up on and developed.

#murasaki rambles #fruits basket

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