#man i was hoping so much finland would win

[soapytreachery]

Welp... Can't say I'm happy with the winner of this year, actually I'm not happy at all but it is what it is.

[auspicioustidings]

Based on this. You are in Finland full of self-loathing and the 141 needs a fat wife if they want to win some beer.

You aren't exactly on holiday in Finland. It should be your honeymoon but since you caught your groom balls deep in your maid of honour you instead have used it as an escape from the country. You just cannot be around the people you love right now, can't have them all look at you with all that pity. Even worse is that some of them probably don't even blame him. Your former best friend is a size 8, perfect hourglass figure. Your former partner is trim and decently fit. They look like they belong together more than you and him ever did.

You hate yourself. You hate looking in the mirror. You hate how clothes fit you. You deserved it you think.

"Not a chance MacTavish, that's my wife!"

"Away and biel yer heid, I saw her first!"

"Actually I saw her first!"

"I outrank all of you muppets so I think you'll find that is my wife!"

It's a racket in the little cafe but you don't pay much mind, still just staring out the window and wondering if you could ever deserve anything. One of the servers comes to take your empty cup and grins at you, telling you in her heavy accent that she would personally go for the one with the mask since he's the biggest. You don't understand when you look around and there are a lot of locals smiling happily over at you while four Greek Gods of men are having a scuffle, moving slowly in your direction. More people chip in, arguing about who you should pick, some lamenting that they would claim you themselves if they thought they could.

One big man does try, basically some Viking God, but he's playfully (you hope it's playful) spear tackled by the man with the mohawk before he laughs and backs off.

When Gaz with warmed cheeks and excitement in his eyes gets to you while Soap is busy with the viking and Ghost and Price are wrestling one another he asks if you'd do him the honour of being his wife. You nearly choke, but he explains that the wife carrying competition is today. You look around, bewildered, ask him why he wouldn't pick any of the other women in here given that they are all gorgeous slim things.

"Fuck all use to us, need a nice soft bird with lots of fat" says the man in the mask.

Price scowls and whacks his lieutenant upside the head because he sees how you look a second away from crying.

"You're gorgeous sweetheart, he didn't mean anything by it. The prize is the wife's weight in beer though, so he's right about a little lady not being much use."

You don't know what to say. You don't know if this is mortifying or not given that everyone around you seems to not be looking at you with sneers or laughing at you, but instead looking with soft smiles that convey fondness. They think this is adorable.

"Dinnae listen tae their nice soft birds and sweethearts! I'll be a better husband bonnie. I'm shorter aye bit look at the power in these legs, naw going tae drop ye. And I'll split that beer 50/50!"

And then they're arguing. The four of them are arguing and trying to put forward a case to you about why they would be the best husband. When it starts to get raunchy, you fluster and stop them. But fluster is something. It's not self loathing. It's been weeks since you felt anything but self loathing. So even though you are sure everyone can feel the heat rolling off of you in waves at how bashful you are under so much attention from such attractive men, you pick one (the others are devastated but vow that you're only a wife for the competition, that after they should get another shot at convincing you that they're the best option).

And they do. Even though the man you picked doesn't win (gets DQ'd actually since you are heavy and he decided that you were getting over that damn finish line so the four of them took turns) they take you out for drinks after. You think you feel humiliated that they couldn't carry you a long distance, but you don't have time to sit with the feeling because they drown it out with how warm and giddy they make you feel.

They insist that they will compete next year, so you have 365 days to pick a husband. When you make a quiet comment about how you'll lose weight by then so they can carry you the whole way, they nearly riot as they assure you that they would be a shit pick for husband if they didn't spent the year getting stronger so they can carry you just how you are. Plus they'll not be losing any beer thank you very much.

By the time the next wife carrying competition rolls around you are a different person. You're wearing clothes that fit instead of trying to hide your body. You laugh and flirt back with the barista instead of assuming they are making fun of you by flirting. And you don't care if your husband makes it over the finish line, just that you have fun and laugh and joke about the attempt. Of course it's not entirely certain who that husband is yet, got to keep them on their toes after all.

[ts1m1kas]

Original Ask: I was gonna request a cute little Kimi Räikkönen one-shot (Any gender is fine!) in which they're both drivers (Team doesn't matter for me, go wild!) in 2007 and after Kimi wins his first WDC they go to Finland for a holiday he promised MC that he'd take them to if he wins. During the holiday he finally gathers enough confidence to confess his love to them! ( @anicega )

Word Count: 820 words

(author's note: i hope you enjoy my loves !! thank you for all the support on my other f1 fics 🫶)

Throughout his years at Ferrari, Kimi Raikkonen had made many friends and curated a large collection of achievements and memories. But, his favourite was undoubtedly his friendship with Y/N.

Y/N L/N was the other Ferrari driver who was just as successful as Kimi. Their friendship blossomed as they spent more and more time together. However, one thing that came up all the time was a promise that Kimi made when he discovered Y/N would become his teammate.

“I’ve always wanted to go to Finland. I’m jealous that you’ve gotten to experience it,” Y/N said to Kimi.

The pair sat in the Ferrari garage, waiting for their instructions on how to pose for Y/N’s announcement photos. They had been talking and introducing themselves, which eventually led to them discussing their home countries.

“Tell you what, when I win a World Championship I’ll take you to Finland. So we can celebrate.”

“Really? You’re the best Kimi! I can’t wait to be your teammate.”

That was where their friendship began.

Now, many years later, they were inseparable. Wherever Kimi went Y/N followed and vice versa. The pair knew everything about each other from their favourite colours to their favourite childhood TV show. So naturally, when Kimi became World Champion in 2007, no one was more proud of him than Y/N.

Kimi was true to his word though and as soon as he could, the flights to his home country were booked. Y/N stood in the airport, a huge smile adorning her face the whole time she was there. Kimi could practically feel the excitement radiating off her.

The flight was short and before they knew it, they were leaving the plane and Y/N was getting her first sight of Finland.

“Thank you again for doing this Kimi, it really is a dream come true.”

“I’m a man of my word.”

For Y/N, the next couple of days were bliss. She spent them exploring with Kimi and finding out new things about the country she had longed to visit. However, for Kimi, they were torture. Having to spend so much time around Y/N alone meant he realised his feelings for her weren't completely platonic.

Seeing her smiling and laughing in his hometown sparked something in him and Kimi knew he wouldn’t be able to hold back his feelings for much longer.

Y/N had woken up early that morning to watch the sunrise. She had always found comfort in watching the sun come up from behind the early morning mist, giving her time to relax her mind and body for a little longer.

She sat cross-legged in front of the big bedroom windows, her eyes transfixed on the orange hues of the dawn sky. Her face was illuminated by the warm glow of the sun as it gently rose. Kimi stirred from his sleep as the light shone on his face too. He sat up slowly in the bed and stared ahead of him, except his eyes weren’t on the sunrise. Instead, he found himself staring at Y/N, unable to pull his eyes away from her.

“You know, you’ve always reminded me of the sunrise,” Kimi stated, breaking the silence.

Y/N jumped and turned around, “I didn’t even realise you were awake she said with a smile.”

As Y/N turned around, the light behind her enveloped her body, glimmering like a halo and Kimi swore he fell in love right then and there.

“You look beautiful.”

“Really?”

“You always do. I’ve always thought you were beautiful.”

Y/N’s face flushed red and Kimi smiled at her reaction.

“Y/N, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you and I don’t know how else to say it apart from that I’m in love with you. Since we met on your first day at Ferrari I’ve known that I would fall in love with you.”

“Kimi- I- I love you too.”

They stared at each other from across the room, both unsure of what to do or say. Kimi gestured for Y/N to come and sit with him and she followed his instruction. When she sat down, Kimi brushed her hair behind her ear and cupped her face with his hand.

Y/N let out a breath she didn’t realise she was holding as she leaned in to place a kiss on Kimi’s lips. They moved in sync and Kimi moved his hand to rest on Y/N’s waist.

When they broke apart, Kimi smiled softly at Y/N, “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to do that.”

As they sat in content silence, Y/N moved to cuddle into Kimi’s side. Her eyes flicked back over to the window where the sun was nearly at the top of the sky. All she could think about was how glad she was to be in Finland.

[beauty-and-passion]

Eurovision 2024: broken promises and one last hope

Hello.

I know this post took a bit longer than usual, but I needed some time to collect my thoughts about this year’s Eurovision.

Yes, I watched it. Why? Because it wouldn’t have been fair to the artists, who took part in this year’s competition. It’s not because of them that the show was so polarized, so they didn’t deserve to be punished for that.

Also, I needed to see how far the EBU would go. I needed to see and I needed to remember. And everyone needs to remember too. Remember this year and remember what happened, when the EBU followed its policy so strictly, it ended up making the most tense show I’ve ever watched.

I will share my thoughts and I will try my best to do it effectively. It won’t be a short post and I apologize, but I tried my best.

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Sweden: was it worth it?

We all had big expectations for this year’s show. There was Petra Mede, everyone’s favorite host. And Sweden is well known for doing great shows. This year should've been great.

 The first semifinal starts and we're bombarded by greatest hits of the past. Cool for five minutes, boring after one hour.

I’m disappointed: I expected something better from Sweden, not them recycling something already done in the past. But that’s what they did by sending Loreen back to win again, so I suppose it’s fitting.

Okay, so we have Johnny Logan, Ireland’s three-time winner. Is he singing one of his songs? No, he’s singing Tattoo.

Weird choice. Why call Ireland’s three-time winner to perform a Swedish song? Why call a representative of the nation who won as many times as you and make him sing one of your songs and not one of his?

If I were to think badly, I would think this was Sweden's subtle way to impose its supremacy on Ireland. A sort of: "You're not the best anymore, I reached you and I will surpass you. You will succumb to me". But Sweden would never do something like that, wouldn’t it?

Then we have the second semifinal. And we have a song, which can be resumed as follows: “We know we stole Finland’s victory last year, but instead of admitting there is a problem with the voting system (and the entire system for that matter), we’d much rather prefer to whine, because people have been sooooo mean with us. And yes, we will keep sending the same stuff every time, because it makes us win. At the end of the day, all we want is to keep winning, so shut up and love us.”

I don’t know you, but the line between being self-aware of your flaws and openly admitting all you want is to win (all while insulting the country that almost won last year, by saying that their show would’ve been so stupid ah ah, while ours is so cool, see how cool we are?) is very thin. And even the greatest hosting country of all time can succumb to its own hubris once in a while.

Then we reach the final. Okay, the semifinals' shows were meh and left me with a bitter aftertaste, but hey, that’s the final! It must be awesome!

After two hours, I was looking at the clock, waiting for the entire thing to be over.

Did we really need a thirst song about Martin Österdahl, the most hated EBU Executive Supervisor? Was it really necessary to sexualize this man? Is it because he’s Swedish? Is it because Sweden needs to kiss the ESC’s ass even more? Or is it because the ESC really really wants to make this guy more popular, considering people hate him?

After hinting at them in every possible way for the entire week, in the end we got AI-generated ABBA. Well, shoutout to the real ABBA for not participating in this: last year they said they would’ve not taken part and they didn't. Respect.

Alcazar were the biggest surprise of the entire week, because they are a piece of my childhood and Crying at the Discoteque is still a huge bop. But heaven forbid we having fun for more than five minutes, so they were sent away immediately.

At the end of the day, my question is: was it worth it, Sweden? Was it worth winning seven times, only to celebrate with the most boring show ever?

I cannot believe I’m saying this, but I missed Portugal’s show. Yes, the show I called “torture”, because they kept spamming the entire country for days.

You know what? I’d rather watch a country constantly spam its beauties and its culture, than another greatest hit compilation. By god, you’re hosting Eurovision. That's your chance to display your country on the greatest window Europe has to offer. And you use that chance, to repeat over and over “Eurovision good” and talk about it only.

I know Eurovision is good and cool and I love the reminder... but please, give us something more, Sweden. Something you. Listening to a country say: “We don’t have anything else to offer besides Eurovision” does not make me laugh. It makes me sad. It's not that you don't have anything else to offer, Sweden: it's that you don't want to show what else you have to offer.

You have gorgeous natural places (Höga Kusten and Gotland just to name two). You have the second-longest bridge in Europe and it's fucking impressive. Your capital is full of wonderful islands - and I found out there are tours with buses that go both on the ground and in the water. How fucking cool is that?!

Do we want to talk about culture? Your coffee breaks are literally part of your lifestyle and even have a specific name. You have that great concept of lagom which a lot of people should learn too. You are full of beautiful art and funny foods - heck, there is even a Disgusting Food Museum in Malmö! And I didn't find out thanks to Eurovision, but thanks to fucking Tripadvisor.

It's just sad, you know? Don't underestimate yourself so much, Sweden. You have a ton to offer besides this show.

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 The Netherlands: victim of paradoxes

Europapa was one of fan’s favorite songs and of course it was: a catchy tune, funny singer, fun and happiness for a song that was both a celebration of Europe and a touching love letter from Joost to his parents.

Of course it got people’s hearts. We all love the story of a character who comes up with a dream and wants to fulfill it. And if we can, we want to make that dream come true.

So just imagine how devastating it was, to find out Joost has been disqualified. I was minding my own business when I found out and I was shocked, so I can’t even imagine how bad his hardcore fans felt.

The first question was, of course, why. What happened? What could’ve done a man who has always wanted to attend Eurovision, to get disqualified? Not warned, not penalized. Disqualified. What did he ever do, to put in jeopardy his lifelong dream like that?

I don't know if we’ll ever find out the whole truth. All we know is that Joost asked a woman to stop filming him, she refused and kept following him, so he made a “threatening gesture” towards the camera, while not touching her.

Which gesture? No idea. Maybe he showed his middle finger, maybe he tried to lower the camera, maybe he said “fuck you and stop filming me”, maybe he tried to hit the camera. I don’t know. But in this case, I would really like to know - and not just what he did, but how the whole thing went.

If this year taught us something, is the importance of context. If Joost Klein tried to punch the camera is one thing and he should be condemned for that. But if Joost Klein tried to punch the camera after being filmed without his permission, because a woman was harassing him and following him, thus breaking the agreement that wanted him to not be filmed after stage… well, that's another thing.

Sure, he shouldn’t have reacted this way. But you can understand by yourself that snapping at someone out of the blue is one thing and snapping because you’re fed up with harassment is another thing.

Did Joost deserve some punishment? Sure. But did the person filming him without consent deserve punishment too? Of course. If you have to apply punishments, you have to do it equally, not with a double standard. So if he was disqualified, that woman should've been removed from her position too. But as far as I know, she wasn't.

Also, why didn't the EBU tell exactly what happened right from the start? Why refer to it as “an incident” and give only vague explanations? Why not mention Joost's disqualification during the Grand Final? Why did people have to find out through social media and the Grand Final happened as if nothing?

That's weird, that's not the behavior of someone who has nothing to hide. What’s the matter, EBU? Why this weird lack of communication? And why not show the footage of the incident and make everything clear? Now you’re respecting Joost’s right to not be filmed? A bit too late for that, isn’t it?

So yes, in a paradoxical turn of events, Joost Klein got his dream denied by the same show he wanted to be part of. The guy with the most European song ever, the one who stuck to the ESC motto “united by music”, the one who celebrated Europe, the one whose childhood dream was to be part of this European show, got disqualified by the same European show.

What can I say? I just hope karma will do its job for him. If he's innocent, he will get good things. If he's in the wrong, he will get his punishment.

In the meantime, you can still support him, stream his songs and check his albums. Here on YouTube you will find basically all of them, since it doesn’t seem he has a YouTube channel (yet).

And if his fans still find everything absurd and unjustifiable, don't worry: if Eurovision 2023 (and all previous ones) taught us something, is that you don’t have to be the winner, to steal people’s hearts. Sometimes, you just need one performance.

And this one stole everyone's heart.

Also, since apparently paradoxes were not enough, it seems like European flags were banned for being political? European flags during a European show in a European country in the European continent.

Uh?!

EBU, one question: on which continent do you think you’re in? Spoiler: it’s not America.

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EBU’s biggest mistake

Let's talk a bit about the current global situation, shall we? No, you can't escape from it.

So, unless you lived under a rock until now, you know that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict has been going on for a long time and that recently it intensified again because of the new Gaza conflict. Israel pretends to not have committed war crimes, the rest of the world tells them to stop committing them, there are protests everywhere and people are ready to jump at each other’s throats to defend one country or the other.

Now, you’re the EBU. You say your show isn’t political. And that’s true: Eurovision isn’t political. Eurovision is a musical competition. It has nothing to do with politics.

But Eurovision takes place on planet Earth. And, as said, the situation on planet Earth is a bit tense right now. So you already know that, if you stick one single finger in this situation, you will get BIG reactions from the public.

So, what do you do, when Israel asks you to participate?

a) You tell Israel, very politely and very professionally, that you appreciate their application, but cannot accept them this year, because the situation is what it is and letting them in would bring chaos and potential dangers into a contest whose main foundation is being safe and non-political.

b) You let Israel in and let Palestine participate too, at least in spirit through people’s voices and decisions to mention it. This way, no one can say you’re taking sides, since you’re letting both sides participate.

c) You let Israel in and censor everything and everyone else, so not only you bring chaos inside your non-political contest, but make it even more political than ever and end up taking sides too.

Guess what EBU chose.

In order to stick to their non-political policy, EBU put blinders on and ignored the rest of the world. In order to let one country in because "Eurovision is non-political, so everyone is allowed to participate", they brought politics into their non-political show.

And no, it's not unexpected: it was obvious that, by letting Israel in, politics would've entered the competition too. This country and politics are bound tightly now, because of the current situation: of course if you let one in, the other will enter too.

And with politics, all the chaos of the current situation found its way in too. And that means EBU literally put in danger:

25 artists and their teams coming from all over Europe

the same Israeli gal and her team

all the tourists coming from all over the world to attend Eurovision

Swedish people who were living their normal lives and were suddenly surrounded by protests and chaos

the protesters who could've been involved in potential clashes

members of the police who also could've been involved in potential clashes

“But hey”, you might say, “nothing bad happened, in the end! You’re being too negative!”

Sure, thankfully nothing bad happened. But the risk was there, it was huge and it's not that "it would've been here anyway": the risk could've been completely avoided, by applying just a bit more human reasoning.

But even after politics found its way into the show, even after that, EBU could've saved the whole thing. If only one human being with a functioning brain said something like: "Okay, politics is in, even if we didn't want to. Now all we can do is let the other side of the conflict speak too, while we stay neutral".

But no, oh no. Mentioning Palestine and ceasefire means politics and our show isn't political. So let's ignore the fact that our decision to follow the policy verbatim led to politics being inside the show and let's keep applying the rules as if nothing: no one should mention politics, so Eric Saade cannot perform with the kefiah, Bambie Thug should remove their messages about ceasefire, Iolanda cannot keep her nails with Palestine's colors (seriously?!) and people's booing should be drowned with anti-booing technology.

You know, it's incredibly fascinating how EBU's stubborn decision to strictly follow the rules not only allowed politics inside the show, but led to the EBU itself taking a political stand, all while censoring every other opposition. EBU's rigid, mechanical application of the policy led to the EBU contradicting the same policy it was oh-so-religiously following. By making sure the show wasn't political, EBU applied censorship and not only made it even more political, but politically oriented towards one side of the conflict.

I don't know who the EBU members are and if they're human beings with functioning brains or just AI-generated bots, but please: stop following the rules like mindless robots and start using human reasoning in your decision-making process. And use common sense too, because if an idiot like me could foresee the consequences, you should've been able to foresee them too.

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Israel: bullying cannot buy you victory

Now, we have Israel in. And the Israeli gal and her team perfectly know that their sole presence will lead to controversy and political stands.

So, if you were in their place, what would have you done?

kept a low profile during the entire competition;

showed at least an ounce of regret for unintentionally putting everyone in danger;

bullied everyone and tried to find any possible chance to beef with the other artists;

Guess what the Israeli team chose.

During the entire competition, these people kept harassing other artists, filming them without consent, calling them names, misgendering them. They kept this arrogant behavior, as if they owned the place and all other countries were just invited to their show.

And if there’s something I hate more than arrogance, is arrogance with a side dish of bullying.

So, to all the people whining because “Martina Satti yawned while Eden was speaking and Joost hid his face”: if that’s bullying, for you, you have a great life and I envy you. I wish I was bullied like that in school. But my bullying was more like… well, calling me names, harassing me and listening/spying what I was doing without my consent.

But apparently harassing the competitors wasn’t enough, so Israel decided to harass the viewers too, by begging for votes. Yes, they begged for votes. Yes, they spammed ads all over YouTube. Yes, I got one too and it was on a Eurovision-unrelated video and it made my blood boil. Yes, they were this desperate. And yes, that’s pathetic.

Also: is this legal? Is this allowed? EBU, are we sure this is part of the rules you follow so strictly? And please, tell me: is harassment also part of those same rules?

But do not worry: in the end, karma found its way. And despite the arrogance, the harassment, the tons of money spent to beg people, none of these means was enough to grant Israel the victory they oh-so-desperately wanted.

On the contrary: in a wonderfully ironic twist, the winner was one of the artists they kept misgendering and harassing. Mmmh, delicious irony, my favorite.

So thank you Israel for wasting money all over YouTube, I hope they were a lot. Thank you to all the people who made a political vote, you really got the spirit of the show, I hope you will never watch it again. Thank you Israeli team for harassing everyone and making an already tense competition even more tense. And, most importantly, thank you EBU for bringing politics in a non-political show: great fucking job, I hope someone will get fired.

And now, let's finally talk about music. Israel's song was nothing special, just the umpteenth bland song I've listened to 200 times already. And we all know it didn't get 300+ votes because everyone was in love with it. People's taste is not so bland and boring. And the final points proved it.

(On a side note, if I were Eden, I would be offended by these votes. At least the people who voted for Loreen last year didn't do it because of Sweden, but because of her talent. This year, I doubt that the people who voted for Eden gave a shit about her talent at all)

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France: I need to make some apologies

Listen, you have to understand: we Italians know that French singers are good. We laugh, we say they’re “so French” and they keep Frenching and everything, but we know they rarely disappoint.

The problem is that France is good at the same things we’re good too. We’re both good at soccer, we’re good with food, wine, fashion. And we’re both good at singing.

So, France, remember: we might make fun of you but my god, your artists are amazing. When Slimane sang that part acapella two meters away from his microphone, I literally got shivers. He is a fucking great singer, his voice is incredible and he deserved more than 7 points.

I know French Frenching, but we should give credit when necessary:

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Estonia, Spain and basically everyone else: two words and more apologies

Estonia 20th and Spain 22nd? Super robbed. The ignominy. The audacity. They served us beautiful Estonian language and a Spanish gal with a soft voice and that's how they got rewarded? They deserve more and better and people are stupid.

Also, I don’t know what kind of beef Greeks have with Marina, but she was good and doesn’t deserve all of this hate. Also because most of the complaints I've heard about make no sense, so… uh?!

Germany: fucking finally, people gave you votes. Thank you for persevering, your song was truly nice and I liked it too.

Armenia: yes, top 10! For great, lively, wonderful Balkan rhythm! You deserve it and your country deserves love and appreciation.

Italy: I’m okay with this result. Angelina’s performance was better, compared to the one in the semi-finals (also, better costume too, the other was too revealing and too much in general). 7th place is fine.

Ireland: I know that’s not a song for everyone and okay, fine, maybe it’s nothing special either… but my god, have you seen the performance they put on? A-ma-zing. It was interesting, captivating and full of details. And the narrative is perfect too: you can see how Bambie slowly befriends the demon and ends up killing it. It was truly enjoyable to watch. So I’m glad it got 6th place, they deserve an even higher position.

Ukraine: please keep slaying, your artists are always so great and they keep proving it every goddamn time. Also, that moment when Ukraine surpassed Israel was delicious: money truly cannot buy you love and support.

The UK: seriously, why are you whining about people not giving you points? The song was okay, but nothing truly special. Still, you got 18th place! What should Norway say, instead? Poor Norway, it has all my sympathy, the song wasn't this bad.

And now, to you all: you know what to do. Follow your favorites, stream their songs, shower them with love. Eurovision is over, but these artists are not disappearing. They are still out there, making beautiful music. Go check on them.

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Croatia: “the audience will come to my concert, not the jury”

Baby Lasagna was a blessing and as Italian, I want to properly apologize for giving it 16 points total only. You deserved 24, shame on us for being stupid morons.

Croatia gave us a beautiful song, from a beautiful artist with a great message and upbeat sounds. And I’m not the only one who thinks this, because the rest of the public agrees with me. Marko gave us pure joy and entertainment in an evening that was mostly sadness, tension and boredom.

And yes, it’s sad he didn’t win… but he knew it, before Switzerland’s points have been announced. Look at his face, during the final voting: as soon as Petra said Switzerland only needed 182 points, he realized he was going to lose. You can see him understanding and accepting it. He knew Switzerland would get these points. I knew. Everybody knew.

So no, this wasn’t like last year: last year, it was a one-on-one game between Finland and Sweden and a tug-of-war between public and jury. This year, we had a lot of favorites. Marko was the favorite, but if Joost wasn’t disqualified, maybe the points would’ve been even more distributed.

But you know what? Marko actually got the best possible result you can get in Eurovision. People adore you, you become a legend and your country doesn’t have to deal with EBU’s bullshit. You get the best of both worlds and it doesn’t cost you a cent.

Also, consider that Marko accepted his 2nd place graciously and maturely, went back home and was welcomed by basically the whole Zagreb (Let3 were there too! Kings supporting a king, very fitting). And in an interview, he said something like “I don’t care about the jury points, because the jury doesn’t come to my concerts”. Which proves he is:

a mood

a king

the truth oracle

everyone’s spirit animal

the winner of the people

the coolest guy ever

So, Croatia: I understand your disappointment, the jury system REALLY needs to change. And no, you won't host Eurovision next year. But consider that you're everyone's favorite country now. And you won't have to deal with whatever shit will happen in 2025! So sit back, relax, may your tourism thrive and your quality of life be high.

And if all of you people really enjoyed Baby Lasagna, please consider he has a YouTube channel and there are two other songs, besides Rim Tim Tagi Dim. One criticizes social media and the influencer system, while the other is a piece of great life advice from the title: “Don't hate yourself, but don't love yourself too much”. Thank you, king, for being so real.

And in case you’re wondering, yes, they’re both huge bops.

Do your magic, people: subscribe to his channel, stream his songs, watch his videos, shower him with love and, most importantly, meow back.

_________________________________

Switzerland: a contest that can live up to its promise

In the end Switzerland won. And it’s a good victory, you know? You might not like the song, but consider that Nemo sang pop, rap and opera, all while jumping on that rotating platform-thingy and running all over the stage. And they even bent back, while keeping a high note and rotating. I can’t even keep a high note by standing still, let alone by doing all the stuff they did.

Also, this is the first victory for a non-binary person, so great for them. And basically no one knew Nemo before Eurovision, so the show came back to its roots, by giving fame to an unknown artist.

Last but not least, in an ironic turn of events, this victory is the least political thing that happened on that stage. In the most polarized, political show ever, the winner is the quintessential neutral country. Almost poetic, in a way.

And this victory is also a huge slap in the face for the EBU: in the end, it wasn't its rigid adherence to the policy that made the show non-political, it was the jury’s vote. How the tables have turned.

But there is another reason why this victory is good after all and it’s because it’s a hopeful one. The winner isn’t famous, they didn’t harass anyone, they didn’t use money to win, they brought nothing besides their identity, a kind heart and a flag they had to sneak in because of the weird “flag rule” EBU pulled out.

And I would like to remind you that, during their victory speech, Nemo said this:

"I hope this contest can live up to its promise and continue to stand for peace and dignity for every person in this world".

I think it’s a speech that tells everything about this year’s show. This year, the contest didn’t live up to its promise: it put people in unnecessary danger, it brought tension, it made it political. EBU’s strictness led to a lot of consequences, the exact ones it tried so desperately to avoid.

As a result, no one enjoyed their time. I didn't enjoy my time. When Sunday came, I was relieved that the week was finally over and I was able to leave Eurovision behind. I didn't feel an ounce of the usual post-Eurovision nostalgia. I was just glad it was over.

And it's sad and unfair, because Eurovision isn't this. Eurovision is a perfect little window of peace and unity, away from the chaos of the world. For a few hours, three evenings a year, we can leave the real problems behind and focus on silly ones, like which country should win, which should be forever ashamed and which artist will become a legend.

This year, it wasn't like that. This year politics found its way in and wrecked everything. What was supposed to be a silly, funny, lighthearted show became so heavily politically charged, it broke under the weight.

And now that I think about it, Nemo breaking the trophy is the perfect metaphorical representation of this year's competition.

Just like that trophy, Eurovision is something frail and beautiful and mishandling can break it. And oh boy, the EBU truly mishandled it. Even if it was an accident, even if it wasn't done on purpose, the trophy is still broken. The show is broken.

But when asked about their broken trophy, Nemo didn't mourn it: Nemo gave words of hope. Maybe the broken trophy can be repaired. And maybe Eurovision can be repaired too.

How? Well, maybe by starting to learn when and how to apply rules. By using common sense and sensibility. And by checking the world outside too. If we want Eurovision to keep being that small window separated from real world problems, we can't just ignore them: we need to check them and react accordingly.

And if we have to break a rule to guarantee peace and safety, then so be it. One broken rule is not as important as safety and unity.

After all, what makes Eurovision isn't a set of rules: it's the artists, with their talents, their messages, their hopes, their voices, their dreams. They are Eurovision. They are the pull that draws everyone in. They are the reason why people are "united by music". Not because a rule orders them to, not because of the EBU: because of these artists.

Maybe the EBU can start from that. Maybe it can start by looking at the human aspect. Maybe it can start by going out and looking around. And maybe it can learn to take more care of the artists who are the foundation of the show.

And maybe, maybe, they will be able to repair Eurovision too.

See you, hopefully, next year.

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

I need more Ville Valo fics 😩 no one seems to do them anymore! I need another part to Love You To Death! 😍

Love You To Death (Pt. 2)

Y/N makes the painful decision to leave the romance she found in Finland behind, but fate has different plans in mind. By fate, I mean Bam and Ville.

Ville Valo X Fem!Reader, (slight Bam Margera X Ville Valo if you squint?)

(Fluff, angst)

2.5k Words

Warnings: Highly suggestive content, alcohol, manipulation, power imbalance, toxic relationships, unwelcome flirting, creepy guys,

An: Thank you so much for the request!! I had a ball writing this and I’m sure you’ll enjoy t as well :) This was the first fic I wrote after finishing finals, so I hope this is up to par with my usual work! I really wanted to explore how Bam was affected by what was going on with Ville and how Ville feels almost protective of Y/N. As a note, there’s a painting referenced in this fic that was based off of a real piece in the Philadelphia Museaum of art! Anyways, thank you so much for the request and please keep sending them in!

“You’re not actually gonna stay with him, are you?” Bam raised an eyebrow at you from where he was laying against the hotel room mattress. Continuing to fill him in on what happened that night, you cracked open your own tiny mini bar liquor with a sigh, “No, I mean- I can’t.” Bending down to pick up the steadily growing pile of bottles at his bedside, you rolled your eyes, “I mean- it’s not like I could just pack up all my shit and move to Finland!” Trying to ignore your heartbeat thrumming in your ears, you went over the same thing you had been rolling around in your mind since you left Ville’s flat no more than an hour ago.

Tomorrow, you would be flying back home to Philly, away from Finland and away from him, and as well as you knew you couldn’t stay, you didn’t want to go. But as unobservant as he usually was, Bam’s liquor-addled mind made a connection there. He respected Ville. Ville was in love with you. You were friends with Bam. It would be so easy to earn himself a little easy cred with him if he set the two of you up- you know, play Cupid. “So, you got his number?”

Too distracted with stress packing, you didn’t give Bam’s question a second thought, “Of course I did. Why do you care?” Good. He gave you some BS about how Ville is his friend, and if you hadn't gotten his number, he would say you’re stupid, “I know he’s really hot, but I get it- he’s moving a little fast. I mean, you guys just met!” The lip service continued and you were lucky you couldn’t see that smirk of his he was so not hiding. But Bam’s words hit a little closer to home than you expected and made you pause a bit. “Yeah, yeah- I hear ya…”

Bam was getting a thrill out of playing double agent- maybe more than he should. That night, far after he was sure you were out cold, guess who he was calling up? “Ville, man- I got just the idea for you to win over Y/N!” His giddiness was a contrast to Ville’s half-drunk stupor he dove into after you left, still somehow as smooth as ever, “Hmm?” Cupping his hand around the receiver in the dark, Bam went on a rambling, half coherent rant about this master plan of his, which Ville periodically hummed in agreement to. In both of their minds, it sounded pretty foolproof. And there you were, fast asleep about five feet away from where this whole trap intended for you was unfolding.

☆彡

Months later, once the initial flames of desire died down, you kept in touch with Ville in the form of constant phone calls that seemed to stretch on for eternities. Even if he didnt go on and on about this romanticized, poetic vision he had of the two of you together in the future, you couldn’t help but find his voice so pleasant to listen to. It was hypnotic, the way he detailed something as mundane as how stunning the countryside in Finland was in the springtime, how plentiful and beautiful the wildflowers are there. “Of course, they couldn’t compare to your beauty, my dear.” Ville purred his words in a way that almost made you blush and giggle.

Based on the low chuckle he let out at your reaction, you were sure he picked up on it. “There is, however, something I’d like to discuss with you, Y/N.” His voice took on a conspiratorial tone that made you listen a bit closer. “I’ll be going on tour in a few weeks- and seeing as I’ll have a day off in Philadelphia, I was wondering if you would be interested in going out together?” Holy shit. You would be seeing him face to face- like, actually in person. “Oh- of course I’d be interested! That would be amazing!” A disbelieving grin spread across your face, your heart fluttering a little at the prospect, “I can’t wait.” Ville seemed content with your enthusiasm and the way this was trending, letting out a hum of satisfaction, “Neither can I, darling.”

★彡

Bam seemed pretty eager to get your ass out of the house the night before Ville was set to arrive in town. While you were perfectly content with spending the evening fucking around with him and the rest of the guys (because that’s you usually did on a Friday night), for some reason he couldn’t let that happen. “Y’know what? I’m really not feelin’ like going out tonight.” Excuses like this were uncharacteristic of Bam, but you suspended your dislebeleif as he got up from where the two of you were watching tv on the couch, grabbing something off the kitchen table, “It’s lady’s night at 15 North! I think you should go hang out with your girlfriends, have a few drinks, here-”

Turning around to where you had been following behind him, Bam shoved a handful of twenties into your hand and grinned, trying to sound nonchalant, “It's on me!” Part of you wanted to question why the hell he did this big three sixty from how cold he was acting towards you in Finland. But another part of you, a part with a little less shame, knew not to look a gift horse in the mouth, especially when said horse was buying you and your friends drinks. Considering your options for a moment, you nodded, “You know what? I will go out!”

☆彡

That whole thing with Ville just happening to have that time off in Philly wasn't nearly as coincidental as he made it out to be, but that wasn’t the only dishonesty here. Even though they were more than capable of discussing it over the phone, Bam urged him to stop by the castle so they would have the opportunity to ‘talk about it more’. Really, the whole thing was a ploy to keep Ville in one place with him and to show off the castle in one big effort to impress him. Though he was unaffected by his childish attempts to win his favor, Ville decided not to say anything on his thinly veiled intentions or tacky choices in interior design. Bam was giving him some pretty useful information, so it wouldn’t be wise to write him off just yet.

Bam had told Ryan and the other guys the same excuse he told you, which they questioned even less. Adding to this web of lies was the fact Ville got in town a day earlier than he told you he would. You decided to stop by Bam’s to pick something up that you left there the previous night before retiring to your place, so you would only discover this fact when you stumbled through the door around the early AM’s to a figure in the darkness of the living room, lounging on the couch with a glass of something dark that he sat down on a table as you walked in. It was silent as you peered around a corner, still pretty tipsy. The light from the entryway illuminated this person’s silhouette enough for you to see a sliver of a swirling tattoo peek out from under a sleeve- one you instantly recognized. “Ville…?”

☆彡

You should’ve known; who else would look that good in the dark? Of course, you had a lot of questions for Ville, but he gave you the rundown after you nearly pounced on him, “We arrived at a hotel around an hour ago, and while Midge and Linde- and the rest of the fellows were getting settled,” Ville ran his fingers through your hair idly while you pretty much sat on his lap, ”Bam rang me to ask if I would mind staying at his place for a night or two. Who am I to say no to that?” Gently taking your chin to tilt your head up, he pressed a kiss to your cheekbone, “All the more time I get to spend with you, my love.” A hummingbird couldn’t have caught Ville at work, the way he was playing you, and judging by the way you were blushing and melting onto his lap like warm butter, his charms were working their magic on you.

“Anyways,” Glancing down at you, he quickly brushed it off as if he wasn’t just thrilled by how flustered he could make you with such a simple gesture, “I was wondering if you’d care to go out for drinks sometime?” Well, Bam had asked him if he wanted to continue their conversation tomorrow night over a few beers at Rex’s, which gave him the idea to ask you. Close enough. “Oh, I’d love to!” You giggled, laying back against his chest.

★彡

There was pretty obvious confusion in Bam’s half awake gaze the next morning when he saw first you in the kitchen making yourself some toast, then Ville at the coffee maker. Why the hell were you here? Wait, did the two of you…? “Y/N?” He thought he was having some kind of weird dream- some nightmare, but nope, this was reality. “Oh, hey Bam!” Turning around, you took a bite from your toast, “What’s up?” If the smirk on your face wasn’t telling enough, the fact that the two of you were half dressed certainly was. “You stayed here last night?” You could practically see Bam’s train of thought on his face as he looked between you and him, “Ohhhh…” Ville quietly chuckled at his reaction, not seeming to notice the traces of jealousy in his gaze.

☆彡

You were completely oblivious to the fact that there were serious art museums in Pennsylvania until Ville took you to one. Well, you knew there probably were some out there, but the thought never really crossed your mind that people actually go to these places. But there the two of you were, strolling through the Philadelphia Museum of Art. The only sounds that echoed off the tall ceilings of the exhibit hall were the clacking of rubber soles on marble and the hushed whispers among people who actually had opinions on this kind of art.

Sure, you appreciated the stuff, but Ville understood the meaning in seemingly any kind of art that you couldn’t even begin to grasp. Stopping in his tracks, he turned to gaze at a painting that caught his eye: this Christophe Guérin piece titled L'Amour Désarmé. You looked at it as well, trying to gather any meaning from what appeared to be a pretty straightforward subject: a woman holding a bow and arrow away from Cupid, who was reaching to grab it. Standing there a moment next to you, Ville spoke up in a low murmur, “Even though I feel the Metamorphoses is a bit overdone, I’ve always found paintings depicting them impactful...” He didn’t even need to see you to visualize the confused look in your face from his words, so he explained. “See, the woman, Venus, is disarming her son, Cupid- but what she doesn’t know is that she’s already been pierced by his arrow.”

Well, you gathered some of that on your own. “So, now she’s going to fall in love with someone?” Eyes no longer fixed on the painting, he turned to you as you still admired the art, completely oblivious, “Yes. In the myth, it’s a mortal: Adonis. It’s symbolic of love as an uncontrollable force-“ In awe of the way he could just think so deeply about things, the double meaning of his words went completely over your head. “One that binds people together beyond what can be grappled with or comprehended by you or I…”

☆彡

You didn’t really mind that Bam tagged along with the two of you to the bar after Ville finished the show that night, but you were starting to get an inkling that he did. Honestly, at this point, you didn’t really care. Sure, you had known him for way longer than you knew Ville, but not in a million years could he hope to compare to him in your eyes- not now. It was like Bam was some child, constantly vying for attention, and it was starting to get on your nerves. Almost as much as that guy who had been flirting with you since Ville left to use the men's.

“Y’know, I saw you from across the bar over there …Can I buy you a drink?” Looking over to Bam for any hope of getting out of this situation, the only response you got from him was the cold shoulder as he glanced away, pretending not to know you. Asshole. Glancing away, now both angry at him and the guy, you replied flatly, “I’m with someone.” Still, he kept pressing, not getting the hint in the slightest, “I didn’t ask who you were with- I wanted to buy you a drink.”

The aggression in his voice would’ve put you on edge a little if it weren’t for Ville’s return with incredible timing, sliding between you and the creep. “Hope you weren't too lonely without me, love.” Having seen everything, he still paid the guy no mind, leaning in to press a sweet kiss to your lips. Too preoccupied with your little victory, you didn’t notice that, barely out of your line of sight, this bitter look crossed Bam’s face as he took another swig of his drink.

★彡

Ville had to leave the next morning. You knew that when he showed up, he would have to leave- you would be an idiot for thinking this could end in any other way, but you didn’t want him to. There was no logic to how you felt, but yet again when did logic have anything to do with love? Bam wasn't awake, but even if he was he’d probably still be sulking in his room. He probably hated you now. But there you and Ville stood, in the living room at Castle Bam among all the dark velvet, the dim light of early day flooding in through the back window. “My heart aches for you, Y/N.” Delicate features bathed in cool blue, he took your hand in his and his words came to you, deliberate and earnest. “But you have a life to live. I have a tour to finish.” Your heart wept at his words. This whole situation with Ville- it was killing you. In three months, your life was turned upside down by a complete stranger, and you were helpless to do anything about it.

“No more of what’s keeping you here, and no more of what’s pulling me away from you. If not today then some day, my dear…You will be mine.” Lifting your hand to his lips, he pressed a kiss to your knuckle. “Only mine.”

[effervescentdragon]

since i see youre going a bit insane about them, brocedes + second chances? 😂

i wrote like. a whole fic. and it disappeared. okay. this is an old one but feels appropriate today. for @blorbocedes for maaaybe a lil joy ❤️ shamelessly stolen chickpea lunch and ibiza idea from this wonderful fic by @sionisjaune so i hope you dont mind, its been in my head since i read it and i hope you dont mind 🫣

There are no second chances in this sport Nico, his father used to tell him when he was a child. You either win or you don't, and losing is unnaceptable.

Nico never said anything back to his father, because his father was larger than life. A World Champion and a man whom people, if not precisely loved, at least respected. Nico was a child, holding his father's hand in the crowds and dreaming of being his father's equal one day. Dreaming of the crowds parting for him, too, as he took his own child to see the Ferrari exhibit someday in the future.

"I don't think there are many second chances in this life," Mika had said to him once when he was barely out of his teenage years. "People who give them to us, they get tired, you know." His fingers were playing with Nico's hair absent-mindedly, and Nico didn't dare move kr acknowledge Mika's words in any way that would make Mika realize what he was doing and stop. "Sometimes you come to your twentieth second chance, and the person giving them to you is tired, and so they stop trying." He had smiled then, that handsome smile of his. Nico knew Mika was looking through him despite staring intk his eyes. "And so the second chance becomes a last one, and you don't even realize it. A shame." His smile turned sour, but he hadn't stopped playing with Nico's hair for hours after, and that was more than enough.

"There are no second chances!" Niki had screamed at him once. "There are no fucking second chances, and if you're lucky enough to get one by some stupid twist of fate, you don't waste it! You don't fucking waste it on childish pettiness and pointless grudges! You," Niki had yelled, and then put his hand on his chest, gasping for breath. Nico had hoped he wouldn't get a heart attack tight then, which was a possibility with how red his face was and how shallow his breathing. He didn't want to be known as the person who sent Niki Lauda to his grave when even an exploding car couldn't have done it. "You don't waste it, kid," Niki had rasped, and Nico nodded and thought about fastest way to call for team medics the moment Niki barked for him to get out.

"I don't know if I can do this again, Nico, how many second chances..." Jenson had started to say, but he was done the moment his eyes fell on Nico's lips. Nico put his hand on Jenson's chest, and nuzzled in, and that was it. Just like Jenson was done every single time up until then, and would be done every single time in the future when Nico seeks him out.

Lewis never spoke about second chances to Nico. Nevertheless, he was there for all of it.

A hand in his at the Ferrari exhibit, a guest of his father's and Nico's only friend, in Monaco. Waiting for Nico at the airport to get back from his vacations in Finland. Pushing a glass of water into Niki's hands and then helping him drink it while Nico called the medics. On the other side of the stall door in the bathroom in the club in Monaco as Nico pushed Jenson down on his knees.

"It's good to see you," Nico said, and it was the truth. Lewis always shone brightest when he won, and a P2 was a win in itself under the circumstances.

"Thank you," Lewis replied, and smiled, and answered all of Nico's questions politely, and walked away at the end of his interview, giving his microphone to Russell.

"It's real good to see you, man," Lewis had said on Saturday when they had lunch in Lewis' trailer.

"Thank you," Nico had replied, and took another bite of his chickpea salad.

They didn't speak much over lunch, but they didn't need to. Just like they didn't need to speak when Lewis knocked on Nico's door at the cabin in Ibiza that Nico, against all precautions, started to think of as theirs. They have used it, on and off, for the past two decades after all.

Some things don't bear repeating, and some things are too intrinsic to ever have to be said.

[docholligay]

Eurovision: The winner tomorrow

So my other two posts: Maybe y’all will STILL care about random drama tomorrow, and WHY the running order matters, but after tomorrow, NO ONE will care about my thoughts about who might win, who I’d like to see win, and the odds. WARNING: I FEEL LIKE THIS IS OBVIOUS BUT I DISCUSS ALL THOSE THINGS BELOW

My preferred winner out of the top two (Sweden and Finland): Sweden. I have no particular love for Sweden’s song, but I am annoyed that Finland cannot sing his, at all. I have been singing this song during my slow runs, to test my theory that I could be doing a brief canter about a box and actually sing-talk that song, versus being held up by a backing vocalist on a song that is not difficult. I liked that song SO MUCH before my disappointment that he can’t actually do it. Sweden brings a VERY tight package, and while neither of those are my favorite, I prefer Sweden’s ability to hit the note they said they could.

My preferred winner of the top 5: There’s a wide gap between 2 and 3 in the odds, so I grouped these--I’d like to see Spain win. She has a very clear idea of what she wants to see happen onstage, and she executes this song perfectly every time. It won’t because the style is something that does not have mass appeal, but I’d like to see it.

My preferred winner of the top ten: Spain, above. Would have been France, but she’s not been executing in rehearsals.

My winner because I’m allowed to let whatever I want to happen: There are three!

Portugal: This is my favorite song of the year, I would LOVE to see more broadway/cabaret style music there, no one has EVER EVER won from second position, and I love that she’s just a 38 year old real estate agent.

Belgium: Not for love of the song, but love of Gustaph, which I DO think is a little bit of a crime, but there we are.

Croatia: I really adore this true punk shit, but also, in an early interview they said if they won they would be naked and have sex onstage, and I want that. More importantly, I want the BBC to have to deal with that.

Who i THINK will win: Sweden, and I’m not mad. they brought an excellent package, they will be great hosts, and I want to see Ireland’s record go down because it was only due to the language rule.

Odds top ten to win and my thoughts:

Sweden: Loreen is just, good

Finland: he would be a shoo in if it were tele only. I liked him a LOT before the semi where it was revealed he can’t deliver an easy to sing song (yes I am still mad abotu this)

Ukraine This high for political reasons. Not that it’s a shitty song or anything but it’s firmly midtable.

Israel: There was a fuck up in the jury show today that will keep her out of winning contention

Spain: Too divisive to win, but also in my heart. When people say they want ethnic music, they mean “stuff i already like but with a flute”

France: MAN, do I hope all this is wrong and she KILLS on Saturday.

Norway: I keep meaning to do a post on the difference between a whistle note and a high pitched scream.

Italy: I love this song; it is this high because of a tendency to favor Italian entries.

United Kingdom: I SO disagree with this to the point of being shocked when i saw it. I think the Uk is in danger of bottom 5. Maybe not because it’s a bop or whatever, but she is NOT performing this song well.

Austria: Love this song. Wish the staging rose to it.

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Which Sweden wins were deserved and which ones weren’t, according to me:

1974 - Waterloo by ABBA. Deserved.

This is the reason ABBA’s career set off! And they’re amazing!

1984 - Diggiloo Diggiley by Herreys. Deserved.

I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE DIGGILOO DIGGILEY. I used to listen to this on a CD so much as a kid that the CD broke. It’s silly, it’s catchy, it’s cheesy, it’s amazing. To think, back in this day you could win by singing about something so simple as golden shoes.

1991 - Fångad av en stormvind by Carola. Deserved.

It is catchy asf and easy to dance to. I get it.

1999 - Tusen och en natt by Charlotte Nilsson (Perelli now, but Nilsson in 1999). Undeserved.

This is probably the most ”unknown” of the Sweden wins and sorry to all the Charlotte fans but i’m just not feeling it. Both my parents have said they were very surprised this even won because they weren’t that into it either. It’s not a bad song, but idk if I would call it a winning song either. But oh well, there were other tastes and standards in 1999…

But another reason is that Iceland came in second this year and if we hadn’t won, they would have gotten their first win.

2012 - Euphoria by Loreen. Deserved.

Euphoria was amazing. It’s still a song that plays and holds up.

2015 - Heroes by Måns Zelmerlöw. Both deserved and undeserved.

I was not expecting him to win in 2015 and when he did, I was very happy about it. His song was good and I think what really stood out was the effects with his little animated dude. The only problem is that his win lead us to

1. Have like 7 years of men representing us in esc, all with pretty similar songs and I can barely remember how half of them except for in the chorus. The only exception was 2020 with a trio of women, but then we didn’t have any competition. Finally in 2022 we had a woman compete again and it really felt like a bit of fresh air.

2. Insert Måns every year in esc somehow. Stop inserting him. Stop milking the man.

2023 - Tattoo by Loreen. Undeserved…?

The question mark because I don’t know how to feel. I should feel happy that we’ve won, but I did not at all feel that. Especially when it was so clear that the audience wanted someone else. It didn’t feel right, it didn’t feel fair. And I think swedish media definitely makes it worse when they openly mock the others, especially Finland, over this win. They’re making us look like prudes and kind of insensitive with the things they say. It’s like not even swedish media can celebrate this because they wanna focus on the negative backlash. Like with this behavior, I think we deserve as little points as possible for at least 5-10 years so we can fucking calm down, because I’ve noticed kind of already after Måns’ win we’ve developed this hubris, and I had hoped we’d start to calm down, but now with this win I am sad to say it’s probably not gonna disappear for a longer while.

But at the same time. The song isn’t bad… and Loreen is a queen. And I gotta say, I didn’t think she’d win. First of all, she competed in our national competition in 2017 and didn’t even get to the finale, so I was unsure at first what would even be different this time. Then she won, and I thought, well, people have sent precious esc winners before. It’s never gone that well except for one time in the 80s, but that is an exception. But I guess Loreen just has that po-po-po-pooooooweer /j So seeing her win actually was a bit of a surprise. I knew she’d be popular with juries, but I really thought ”oh but the televoters will probably only give her 100 points at max”. Haha…

It’s cool that she’s the first woman to have won twice, but tbh, eventually it’s just gonna be a textbook trivia. I mean, how relevant is Johnny Logan now? Now we need other records to beat - maybe first band to win twice (Måneskin, Lordi? Maybe?), maybe first country to win with only jury/televotes because the other gave them 0? This year was also a learning year how to do it next time, or possibly a protest to change the system. Honestly, the voting system has changed so much in years, and now we at least have the power in the semi’s. Maybe it will change, maybe it will not. We’ll see.

Also as a final note: There’s a lot of songs you barely remember who have won. From 2016-2019, the only song I remember is Toy by Netta. Also, there’s gonna be so much other underserved wins in the future. Both in our national competitions to choose a representant from our country, and in esc. What happened this year has def happened before.

I’m a bit curious what next year will bring. But I do think this win was more undeserved than deserved, even if I could see why it would win too.

[11thfempachi]

Hate with all of its synonyms in the English language will never be enough to even approximately describe how much I fucking despise yours and your fanbases and your country's sheer existence and every dickhead self proclaimed rad who cheers on you, defends you and kisses your ass like they're paid for it. The sheer fact that you can admit with your full chest that you can look deeply into the eyes of a man, who would cross a river of shit and blood for a couple bucks and send an another batch of greedy zombies you yanks defend as martyrs because their student loans apparently cost several innocent lives as long as the lives aren't white yanks, and see this empty void that's blind to rivers of gore he causes to flow for a living, and turn a blind eye yourself and get next to zero backlash - it all proves to me American left is nothing but a parody of itself. And when you did receive some criticism it was either from foreigners whose opinions are like a third of a yanks opinion to all you or from those eager to witness "drama" before they switch to something more entertaining.

My country hasn't suffered from imperialism in like 700 years or so. My country's wealth and identity is built on bones that were burnt to dust to warm the homes of the "most hospitable nation" - like millions of adyghe, jews, romani, ukrainians, tatars, koreans, kalmyks to name a few and those countless others whose names were lost to time because they were forced to abandon them to accept the 'correct' identity and the 'correct' religion. And that is if we don't consider foreign invasions that didn't end in destruction of culture and national identity like the coup in Afghanistan and occupation of Finland, Poland and attempts to colonise Mongolia. Finding a leftist here - even simply a liberal-leaning anybody - let alone those who know of and acknowledge at least a fraction of those atrocities I mentioned and do care is nigh impossible. Some of them can be met among radfems. Some. A lot cannot even attempt to give a fuck about ongoing struggles of fellow women in other countries, only caring to look into news to say "oh, thank god white men aren't as barbarian!". But even in these more xenophobic circles, If i ever dared to hint on happily making babies with my beautiful jakey boy who sends new meat to bomb Ukrainian villages off the face of the earth, even if there would be a couple of snarky voices in my support here and there, my shit would be shut down faster in most communities before I could even say hi. Can you imagine me posting something on here? I would be thrown to the wolves, and I would say rightfully so, but seeing as how you are being treated - no it's not. Oh yanks are so quick to pass judgement on what happens everywhere else. Our little American boys are being sent to war - they're brainwashed, they're victims, they're helpless and are trying to survive. YOUR men are going to war - because they're soulless bloodthirsty colonisers. Our politicians is our only choice, our system is flawed, we have to pick the lesser of two evils - for us, of course, for those who are being killed for our wealth and prosperity nothing will change. Your politicians have power because they were picked by a fash majority - absolute majority, almost everybody, actually. Our veterans were fighting for our freedom in countries that couldn't possibly win a war against us by themselves. Your veterans are willing enforcers of imperialism.

I, honestly, already forgot how and when I wanted to end this. It's 8 am and I'm sick. But if there is a God, if hell is real, and if he ever discovers a sense that he only ever expected us to have in a fit of unimaginable egoism - that is shame, and if the eternal hellfire is my destination, then I hope I'll die shortly before you - and I get to see you both fall into the deepest pits of hell, and all I'll be missing is knowledge that his body was torn to pieces by wild animals who are returning to blooming gardens of Palestine and Afghanistan where people regardless of who they are are free to rest, walk and sing - from then and forever.

I do wish you to read my response. But I don't expect much from you. All I will definitely receive is either a snarky response along the lines of "omggg you're so obsessed with me teehee" or "wow okay crazyy are you done yet?" or a pathetic defensive rant painting you and your piece of human shit jakey as the victim, proving my point. If you'll even read this before blocking me. You won't. I know you fucking won't. I don't even know why I'm writing this now. But I hope you get at least a glimpse of how much I hate you and everybody, everywhere who thinks like you. See you in hell.

Post on Tumblr: "mushrooms are yummy"

Comments: "what about poisonous mushrooms? Stop spreading misinformation"

"I have mushroom allergies. You want me dead"

[justdontaskme]

Don't Let Go (Alexia Putellas x Reader)

A/N: Didn't think I'd have another one up so soon. Thank you for the love on the last one! Hope you enjoy this one too! This one is like a continuation of this fic, but it also can be read alone. Also that Spain vs Finland game! I had so many emotions!

You were lying awake quietly in bed, your head rising and falling with Alexia's breaths from its spot on her chest as the midfielder continued to snore away. It had taken her quite a while to actually fall asleep last night, but once she did she was completely out. 

Normally, Alexia would be the first between the two of you to wake up, but these last couple of days had been extremely draining on her. You couldn't blame her. All of her plans and goals had changed in a second. Her dreams crushed. You just wished there was something you could do to help besides just sitting there.

Since she officially got the news of her torn ACL, your girlfriend had been hiding her emotions about sitting out for what could have been her breakout tournament. While many people already knew how amazing of a player she was, you knew she had her sights on bringing Spain up to that next level. 

It was starting to worry you. She hadn’t cried or grieved. Instead, she just stared off into space and tried to put on a happy face when around her teammates. But you knew it was her pretending that everything was okay. 

After many long talks and assurances that you would support whatever decision she made, Alexia chose to remain with her team and cheer from the sidelines. 

The decision didn't surprise you much. Her love for the sport surpassed the love many claim to have. And while it may hurt sitting on the sidelines, you knew she wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Plus, she wanted to be there to encourage her teammates and make sure they knew how much she believed in them. 

Just a few short minutes later, Alexia’s alarm went off, breaking the peaceful silence and waking your sleeping beauty from her much needed sleep. You were still amazed that she could wake with the first alarm, whereas you had to set three or four to make sure you weren't late to anything.

From your spot, you turned your head just enough to see her begin to stir. One arm blindly reached for her phone to turn off the alarm, as her eyes struggled to open.

"Morning, babe," you whispered, afraid of destroying the tranquility of the morning. 

"Why are you awake?" Alexia seemed genuinely confused to see you up before her. She actually had to do a double take. 

You shrugged, grabbing her arm resting on your hip and wrapping it around yourself more tightly, "Couldn't sleep. Your snoring was very loud."

She didn't laugh but you saw the slightest uptick of her lips and considered that a win. It was more than you’d been getting lately. It was followed closely by a glare in your direction, “I do not snore.”

“Whatever you say, babe,” you rolled your eyes but leaned up just enough to press a kiss to the underside of her jaw. 

With your help, Alexia went to the bathroom to do her business and get ready for the day. You kept the door open so you could rush to her if needed while you went about to gather her clothes for the day. Alexia had chosen to accompany her team to training, so picking an outfit was easy. 

After brushing her teeth and washing her face, you helped Alexia back to the bed so she was off her feet. You helped her change her clothes, teasing her as you pulled off her night clothes, kissing all of her newly exposed skin. She rolled her eyes at you, shoving you away lightly, but you saw the smile.

In appreciation of your efforts, she dragged your head to hers, so she could kiss your lips. And you were never one to turn down her affection. You felt her tongue just peeking through when the two of you were interrupted by a knocking at the door. 

A quiet groan left your lips before you pulled away, apologetically, pressing one more kiss to your girlfriend’s lips. Alexia seemed surprised to see a man rolling in a cart. 

“What’s this?” she asked as you thanked the staff member, who placed the plates on the desk before leaving. 

“I thought we could have a nice little breakfast together. Just you and me,” you answered, grabbing Alexia’s plate and walking it over to her. “I know you haven’t had much of an appetite, but I still think you need to eat something.”

Despite how much she loved her teammates and their support during this hard time, Alexia had a hard time having meals with them. So, to spare her the awkwardness and pain, you had placed an order to have breakfast delivered to the room in the morning. 

You had kept it simple with an omelet, a piece of toast and some fruit, which thankfully, Alexia picked at and ate most of. But only because you would literally reach over to feed her and reward each bite with a soft peck to her lips. 

Her mood seemed just slightly brighter than it had lately, and you patted yourself on the back.

After breakfast, you helped clear the plates, so Alexia could relax in bed while you got ready for the day. As you finished getting yourself ready, you turned to see Alexia waiting for you near the end of the bed.

"Can I wear this?" Alexia asked.

Your attention turned towards the item in her lap, where she was gingerly holding the black hat you’ve been wearing since the Italy game. It was nothing special, so you were a little surprised to hear her ask for it. Nonetheless, you'd give her whatever she wanted. 

Without answering, you walked over, taking the hat from her hands so you could place it on her head yourself. After making sure it was fitted on her head, you brushed her hair back, cradling her face in your hands. "What's mine is yours," you said before bending over and laying a soft kiss on her lips. 

As you returned to your full height, Alexia leaned forward, turning her head at the last minute so her cheek was resting against your stomach. She didn't say anything, but you knew she needed this. Her arms were wrapped tightly around your waist as you rubbed her back in soothing circles. While Alexia still had yet to fully express her bottled up emotions, you did notice her need for your physical touch. 

"Ready to go?" you asked her, double checking that you had your phone, wallet, and keycard. She nodded her head, thanking you as you grabbed her crutches and held the door open for her. 

The two of you were sitting on a long couch in the lobby, you on one end by the armrest, with Alexia’s back leaning against your side, her leg propped up on the other end of the couch. A random passerby may consider it rude, but you didn’t care. Your girl mattered more. 

Eventually, her teammates made it down, Mapi and Leila spotting the two of you first. The Melis made their way over, waving at you with their usually infectious smiles slightly dulled as they approached. 

“Hola,” Mapi said, crouching slightly to help Alexia off the couch as she made a move to get up. 

"I'll be here when you get back," you told her, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "My phone is on so call or text if you need anything from me, okay?"

She nodded at you before moving towards the entrance of the hotel, Mapi right behind her.

“She’ll be okay,” Leila said, wrapping you in a hug you didn’t know you needed until now. “Are you okay?” 

You knew a little about injuries, having had to sit out for the past couple of weeks with a lingering injury that never seemed to go away. But it seemed like a minute inconvenience compared to Alexia’s situation. 

“I will be,” you said, trying to be convincing as you rubbed your forehead against Leila’s shoulder. 

“We are here for you, too. Do not forget that, hermana,” Leila said. 

When you pulled back you found her eyes bearing into yours as she tried to find any sign of you spiraling. She knew better than to push you. So, when she found nothing, she decided to let it go for the time being. Your best friend said goodbye and promised to keep an eye on Alexia while they were gone. 

With nothing else to do until Alexia and the girls were back, you and Alba, who had flown in with Eli the day before, decided to explore the city a bit. The two of you were definitely in need of a caffeine fix. 

Thankfully, you and Alba got along quite well. In fact, there were times that Alexia would be more annoyed than anything about how well the two of you got along. It always came at her expense as the two of you easily teased her mercilessly about anything and everything. 

Honestly though, Alexia couldn’t be happier that you and her family meshed well. Family was everything to Alexia, so it meant the world to see her family accept you with open arms. 

Having her family there had helped, but not as much as you had expected. Your girlfriend’s eyes lit up and instantly watered when she first saw them, but being the stubborn and strong woman she was, Alexia held her tears back. Not even her mother’s loving embrace could tear down her walls. 

It made you frown. Since the incident, Alexia had been bottling it all up inside of her. While she expressed her frustrations and disappointments, you had yet to see her grieve the momentary loss of her first love. Soccer was her world, and it was now just out of reach. 

After finding a nice coffee shop within walking distance of the hotel, you and Alba placed your orders and went to take a seat. 

“How are you doing?” Alba asked, not even easing into the conversation. 

“Me? I’m doing fine,” she fixed you with a look that told you she didn’t believe you.

“It’s just me, Y/N. You can tell me how you’re really feeling. I know this is a lot for you, too,” she reached across the table, lightly laying her hand on top of yours. 

You sighed, “I hate that I can’t take her pain away.” Your hands began to fidget with whatever was in reach. “She didn’t deserve this.”

“Life is unfair sometimes, but trust me. You being here and helping her through this means everything to Alexia. My sister is lucky to have someone like you who cares and loves her so much,” Alba stated, her tone leaving no room for arguments. 

“I wish I could do more. It hurts me to see her in such pain,” you added on, the need to vent finally hitting you without the guilt of unloading onto your girlfriend or your friends who needed to stay focused on the tournament ahead of them.

Alba was shaking her head at you, “There’s nothing else you can do but be here for her. And you are doing a wonderful job. Don’t undermine how much you mean to her. Do you hear me?"

You nodded your head, "I hear you. Thank you."

“You are like family, Y/N. Never feel like you can’t come to me or my mama for anything,” at those words, you felt your eyes start to water.

“Thank you,” you repeated, wiping the tears from your eyes before they could fall. Managing a few deep breaths, you regained your composure, returning Alba’s embrace fully to express your gratitude.

Eventually, your drinks arrived and you and Alba diverted to lighter topics, such as her next vacation plans and her work. 

Halfway throughout your conversation with Alba, you finally get a text from your girlfriend. At first it's just a text saying she missed you. How she wished you were there with her so she didn’t feel so lonely sitting all by herself. 

Soon the texts were accompanied by videos of the girls training. They included both highlights of the drills and what she thought they needed to work on. You tried not to laugh at your girlfriend's inability to forget about the game for a second, but you also knew that this was how she was dealing with it. 

When she texted you saying that she would be heading back to the hotel soon, you and Alba decided to head back as well. 

You make it back first, falling back onto the bed and turning the TV on for some white noise in the background. 

When Mapi finally showed up to drop Alexia off, you could tell your girlfriend was exhausted. She didn’t say anything as she entered, instead going straight to the bed while you had a few words with the blonde centerback.

She told you how Alexia had been mostly quiet the entire training, rarely talking to anyone and when she did, it was usually a very short conversation. Not even some of the team's crazy antics were able to pull a smile onto her face. After thanking Mapi for the update and her help, you went back inside, eyeing your girlfriend who hadn’t moved after placing her crutches by her bedside. 

Even though she didn’t ask, you helped settle her up against the headboard, adding a few of the extra pillows underneath her bad knee before taking your spot next to her. Alexia seemed lost in thought. Silently, you reached over, grabbing one of her hands and pulling it into your lap so you could rub soft circles over her knuckles. 

It was quiet between you two as you were scrolling away on your phone and catching up with some of your national team teammates, allowing Alexia the quiet time she needed to process her thoughts. When you felt a tug on your hand, you put your phone down and gave her your full attention.  

“Thank you, mi amor, for everything,” Alexia said, lifting the hat off and handing it to you.

You shook your head, pressing it back into her hands. While it was such a simple garment, you liked to think Alexia pulled some comfort from your hat. It was one of the very few things of yours she could wear with her Spanish gear, “You never have to thank me, Ale. I would do anything for you.”

“Really?”

“Of course,” you smiled at her, leaning over to press a kiss to her lips. You couldn’t help the smile forming on your face when you felt Alexia’s hand on your cheek to pull you back in when you started to draw away. “Te amo, Ale.”

“Te amo,” she whispered back, her eyes beginning to water as she looked into your eyes. “Can you hold me?” she asked, her voice cracking. And that was when you knew she had finally reached her breaking point. 

“Always,” you answered, scooting over so that your legs were pressed against each other, your arm going around her shoulder as you pulled her into you as best you could without further injuring her knee.

Alexia did her best to hide her face in your neck as your cheek rested against the top of her head. You couldn’t see her face, but it didn’t take long for you to feel the cries wracking her body. 

You let her have her moment, your hand rubbing up and down on her arm as you whispered little affirmations into her ear, each one followed by a soft kiss to the top of her head. 

“I got you, Ale,” kiss, “Let it out, babe,” kiss, “I’m here,” kiss, “I love you.” 

While it hurt to see her like this, you knew it was exactly what she needed. You had been waiting for this moment, where she finally expelled all the emotions she was drowning in. Now, she could move forward and enjoy her time here with her team.

Minutes passed, maybe even an hour before you felt Alexia’s sobs soften, her body sagging into yours. You moved away just enough to take a look at her. She had cried herself to sleep. 

You would never understand how the world could be so cruel to someone like her, but you knew you would spend the rest of your life doing whatever you could to give her everything she wanted in life.

[inmyarmswrappedin]

Under the read more, the ESC22 songs I am okay with if they win. If a song other than these wins I will bite my thumb at Europe.

Just a couple notes: I've listened to all the songs, but I've avoided watching the performances so I can be surprised tomorrow. If one of these has a flop performance or does an homage to Do it for your lover, I take no responsibility. I've also listed them in the order they will perform, not in order of preference.

Portugal: Maro - Saudade, saudade. I feel like such a stereotype, enjoying my neighbor so much, but I just really like this song. Every time it comes up on the playlist, I brighten up.

France: Alvan and Ahez - Fulenn. I like the song and I love the idea of countries sending songs in minority languages to Eurovision. I hope a win would encourage other countries to do the same.

Norway: Subwoolfer - Give that wolf a banana. I'm over Norway's PR tactics, both last year and this year. And I don't actually like the song because I feel the chorus and the verses belong to completely different songs. But I guess I commend them for sticking to the gimmick.

Italy: Mahmood and Blanco - Brividi. I don't think Italy wants to win and have to host ESC again lmao, but there's something about Mahmood that I can't and won't resist.

Ukraine: Kalush Orchestra - Stefania. I think their song last year was HIGHLY superior to this one, but I wouldn't be mad if they won since the song has a similar vibe of mixing tradition with modernity, and who doesn't love a man's tender feelings for his mom. Combined with breakdance.

Lithuania: Monika Liu - Sentimentai. I just really enjoy this song on audio alone, it throws me back to a black and white movie with a woman in a long bodycon dress. I can only hope the performance captures the vibe of the song.

Sweden: Cornelia Jakobs - Hold me closer. Cornelia sounds to me like "we have Robyn at home" but that isn't a bad singer to sound like, not by far.

United Kingdom: Sam Ryder - Space Man. Coming from a country that is on the bottom more often than not, I understand how the British feel, and I'm okay rewarding the BBC for not sabotaging their entry for once.

Serbia: Konstrakta - In Corpore Sano. From reviews I get the vibe that this performance is weird as fuck. I like the song and I'm on her side regarding her message.

Songs I like but not enough that I'm okay with them winning: Czech Republic, Romania, Finland, Armenia, Netherlands, Belgium, Greece, Iceland, Moldova, Australia

Who are you, I've listened to the playlist so many times and I still can't conjure up your song: Azerbaijan, Poland, Estonia

Get out of my sight: Switzerland, Germany

And of course, my opinion on ✨✨Spain ✨✨ The song just isn't very good, BUT I've been wanting Spain to send a song with Caribbean vibes for a while. (Just wish it had been Caribbean as in Birth of a new age and not as in Slo-mo but baby steps.) I am overall very happy with our entry, I know Chanel's worked her ass off, and I hope this year is the start of Spain getting its shit together for Eurovision. I also wouldn't want us to get stuck in a rut of only sending songs like these for the next few years. Would love to see a song in a minority language, or a song in the style of Celtas Cortos, Basque rock, neo rumba catalana, etc. There is SO much to choose from among our music that Europe would enjoy.

Also, if Chanel gets more than 125 points, she will beat the previous record holder which is Mocedades with Eres tú IN NINETEEN SEVENTY FUCKING THREE. So I don't need her to win. Just getting 126 points shows we're on the right track lmao.

[transmissionsfromthebattlefield]

DEVOtion, Day Two

And then the nerds re-congregated, and DEVOtional Saturday happened.

And what a de-evolved time it was.

The Jimmy Psycho Experiment, who have been DEVOtional openers for a few years now, set a relaxed mood well with their tiki-loungey versions of everyone’s favorite DEVO hits. Attention soon shifted towards the many special guests, whose Q&A sessions took up a good chunk of the night. Good old Mark was back for round 2, though he was slightly more subdued when compared to his misdemeanor on Friday. DEVOtional old timer Jerry Casale, who almost always comes out to support the fans, brought with him the music video premier of his next single, “The Invisible Man.” Without spoiling too much for everyone who wasn’t there, it was hands-down one of the most amusing things I’ve ever witnessed, and it only makes me more fascinated about what exactly goes on within Jerry’s mind that could make him conjure up something so perfectly, undeniably wack. But you’ll all see it in a few months.

Steve Bartek, the guitarist on Jerry’s recent music who is best known for his work with Oingo Boingo, joined Jerry in looking very smart and answering questions. I didn’t get to talk with him at all, but he seemed like a really genuine guy. The dark horse of the program, however, was one Michael Schwartz, better known as Rod Rooter, DEVO’s evil manager from way back. Throughout the night, Mike seamlessly incorporated his character into his talk-talk to the point where I initially genuinely wasn’t sure if he was joking or not when he discussed being the first white guy on King Records with a song produced by James Brown. (Spoiler alert: he WASN’T).

Sometime before DEVOtional started, Max had the brilliant idea of making Rod an entire election campaign which proceeded to snowball from a joke to people on Facebook actually buying made-to-order polo shirts emblazoned with the phrase “America’s Begging For The Barrel Room.” The virus had spread so far that Max didn’t even have to give Mark one of the campaign buttons he was handing out; he had already been given one by someone else. With Mike’s charisma and wit, I wouldn’t hesitate to vote in his favor, and I can’t help but hope he becomes a mainstay. (“The Man” did approve of Max’s effort, by the way.)

Max signed one of his posters for him while I stood by, causing him to ask Max in character, “Is THIS your GIRLFRIEND?” Max would go on to be very fixated on the fact that Mike was a few hours early to the punch on that.

Jerry, Mark, and the rest were signing items for hours. I heard someone say their autograph session clocked in at over three hours, which blows my mind and makes me want to pray atheist style for their dominant wrists. Max used the opportunity to gift Mark and Jerry bags containing some of his original music and hand decorated lab coats, with airbrush art for Marky and colorful tampons for Jer-Jer, while I stood by as photojournalist and emotional support.

(Jerry sadly didn’t try it on for us in person, but the photo he uploaded later more than makes up for that.)

I wasn’t immune to the photo opportunities, either.

All the while, Al Mothersbaugh’s band, Massive Hotdog Recall, brought the party as usual, proving that “Shout” can be a good song if you add some non-synthetic, whip-spankin’ horns to it. New Devolution, an energetic tribute band who came all the way from Chile to perform, followed by plowing through high-power early 80s DEVO tracks. The fun factor was through the roof as the spontaneously generated giant helium balls the crowd was serving around threatened to make a dent in it.

After the raffle, which I did not win anything at, the highly anticipated Fight Milk, who were not balls, took the stage. They exemplified the fun factor just like last year, but having more than one guy on the stage again (while retaining last year’s cardboard cutouts) totally elevated their energy. Alongside Jackson, the band’s creative mastermind and sole constant, it was great having Tavi from Finland back onstage, whether he was flashing a creepy smile at the audience with down pitched vocals or scurrying around the stage wrecking his guitar strings. Those boys be DEVO.

Max was also making his live performance debut, and he absolutely killed it. Not many other DEVOtional performances would both perform a song that hadn’t been performed since 1974 and make the live debut of Jerry’s latest single. (TAKE THAT, OLD MAN! Just kiddin’.) Max took lead on both, and it was so great seeing him in his element. It truly wouldn’t have been the same without him up there in that goddamn tampon coat hurling his Rod Rooter buttons at the crowd. I even caught a photo of one in mid air! I love blinding everyone with the flash from my camera.

Detention finished off the night, though I sadly didn’t get to see most of their set because, deja vu, I was too busy having a conversation in the Ballroom’s bar the room over. (I got to hear their Steve-tribute cover of Oingo Boingo’s “Little Girls” in muffled format, though!) At least I did get to chat with their singer Elliott, who I’ve bumped into a few times on the Kent campus, beforehand. Us Kent chicks gotta stick together.

And then, just like that, the night had winded down. Everyone packed up, stumbled out of the ballroom, and hit up Ubers back to their hotels. And then it was over.

Did it beat last year’s for me? No. That year was too special! But I’ll gladly let it be the first loser.

And hey, I got a boyfriend out of this one, so I guess that’s a plus.

[lonelyvomit]

I totally agree with you that Joonas is sending very strong boyfriend vibes. I also love his idgaf attitude. I share that with him but it took me years to reach that goal. I still have some work left to be on his exact level, though. But it's looking good.

Still, it's quite baffling that he got away with it. Would it have been someone else, the person would most likely have been trashed. I swear this man has some magic in him. 🖤

Also, it makes me happy to know that things are progressing for you and that you're getting new meds. 😊🖤 After all the time you had to wait, I think it's worth celebrating this win. 🏵️🖤

I love people like you and Joonas who are able to let go of things that are just incredibly pointless to worry about. I need those people around me to slow me down when I'm stressing myself out for nothing 😂😂

I'm not surprised just cause it's Finland and nudity is not that much of a taboo, the media wont drag anyone through the mud for something like that, so it really just comes down to whether or not the person themselves feels embarrassed by it. Which is why I'm incredibly happy it was Porko, he seems like the kinda person to really not care 😂😂

thank you so much, that's so sweet 🥺🖤 I really hope the new ones will work out better and I'll be able to do a bit more again. it's been 2.5 years since my mental health deep dive that I never made it back up from, so would really love to finally get my head above the water again 😂😂

[effervescentdragon]

valewis + pink

stole one of your web weaving thingys bcs it spoke to me bestie, i hope you like this <3

im gonna tag @lhsrainbowhelmet here just because :)

The Miami heat is different than the others - pervasive, sticky, clammy in a way Bahrain and Jeddah weren't. Valtteri likes it for being the complete opposite of the Finland heat, which always brings that bite of icy wind when he least expects it.

They are in the paddock, and it's race day. He smiles at people, waves at fans, does everything right and proper while still going over the track in his mind. It's a skill he developed early in his carreer, and the one that became absolutely indispensible after his move to Mercedes. One cannot compete with Lewis Hamilton if one isn't ready to do everything, take every opportunity, never cut any corners.

The thought derails him and he stumbles, because, well. Because he wasn't ready to do everything, was he? He wasn't ready to hurt Lewis to win, and that was, ultimately, the reason he never really did. He tries to tell himself that it was because he never got the chance to be close enough to Lewis to be able to hurt him, but Valtteri has decided a long time ago not to lie to himself.

He tries not to dwell on Lewis, but that is also one of the things Valtteri has given up on a long time ago. Lewis is radiant, so much so that his absence is felt as keenly, if not more, as his presence. Lewis is everywhere, because how can he not be? Valtteri sometimes thinks, when the sun hits Lewis from a certain angle, that gods must have sometimes walked the Earth, a long time ago, and they must have left parts of themselves here for Lewis Hamilton to exist in all his glory today.

Valtteri knows he is a lovesick fool, he knows. He's slowly coming to accept that. The distance helps, at least a bit, because he has the excuse of walking back to Alfa Romeo's (his, his, he has to remember it's his) garage now when Lewis' everything becomes too much for him to not make a fool of himself, to not grab his hand and pull him close and just hold him, shelter him from everything and everyone, take up his burdens for at least a moment stolen in time. He didn't have that luxury before, when they were in the same garage, separated with the flimsiest of barriers that wasn't even strong enough to muffle down the sound of Lewis' laugh, which was always a guaranteed distraction for Valtteri.

Valtteri signs autographs automatically, resigned to follow the map his mind has taken. All the roads lead to Lewis, he thinks as he smiles for selfies, and he doesn't know if his true smile is showing behind his media-trained one. He doesn't know if anyone would even notice, and that just makes his thoughts circle back to Lewis, because he would notice. His eyes would flash, and he'd get those adorable crinkles around them and he'd scoff, or he'd smile. Lewis was always good at seeing through the masks others put up. He still is, really. Lewis is -

-right there, in front of Valtteri, dressed in all pink.

Valtteri's mind blanks out for a second.

"Fuck," he says, then flinches. Lewis' eyes are hidden behind the sunglasses, but Val knows his eyes are all crinkled around in the corners, because he knows Lewis. "Hi," he says, and he knows he's blushing.

"Hey, man," Lewis says, and there is that humor in his voice that he rarely indulges in. Valtteri holds every instance when he heard it close to his heart. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Val says. "You look good."

You look wonderful in pink, he doesn't say. You look like you're a god walking the Earth, and you look like you're aware of it, and you look like you don't care who looks, and you look like you want everyone to look, and you look so hot I forgot my name for a moment, and you look like every dream I've ever had and you're here and you're, surreally, real.

Lewis' smile widens, and he pats Valtteri on the shoulder. The little point of contact makes Valtteri hotter than all the heat of Miami, and he swallows around nothing. "Thank you, you too," Lewis says. He squeezes Val's shoulder for a second, and then he's off, waving as he rushes to do whatever he has to do and leaving Valtteri reeling.

I know how you look when you smile, Valtteri thinks. I know how you look when you're exhausted, and heartbroken, and holding back the words that would be forgiven if they came from anyone else in this fucking world except for you. I know what you look like when you're cold, and when you're sweating too much, and when you're uncomfortable with the people around, and how you look when you're most relaxed.

I know you, Valtteri thinks as someone gives him another picture to sign. I know you, and I choose to know you, and I don't think I will ever be over you.

I don't think there will ever be a time when I'm not in love with you, Valtteri thinks, and smiles for the cameras. His shoulder burns in the Miami heat, and wherever he turns, his eyes catch glimpses of pink.

His smile, his real smile, stays on his face for longer than he expected. It doesn't surprise him at all.

[chantylay]

My personal ranking for the Eurovision Grand Final:

Belgium: it's my favorite song. They definitely got fucked over by the sun's LED display not working, so the stage show is missing some of the imagery I think they wanted, but it's still absolute quality and one of the most technically difficult songs to sing. I'm hoping for a good jury result, but not much else :/

France: folktronica is one of those genres you basically only get at Eurovision and I love it. It's fun. It's culturally relevant. The stage show has a lot to look at. I adore this.

Spain: that choriography! And she's singing full out nearly the whole time!

Lithuania: love the vibes. Some songs get an audience singing and clapping. This one makes you sit down and shut up because you are too mesmerized to do anything else. Not many people talk about this one, but I think they should.

Serbia: if you saw the semifinal performance, you hear how thunderous the clapping was during the chorus. If this doesn't finish top 10, there will be riots.

Australia: pitch perfect vocal. Beautiful song. Beautiful message. Beautiful man in a beautiful dress. *chef's kiss*

Norway: it's fun, it's stupid, and I love it

Greece: beautiful song. I don't get the melting chairs but honestly, whatever.

Portugal: those harmonies tho.

Netherlands: not a lot to see in the stage show, but it's a very pretty song

Poland: his voice is great. The staging is a bit dark, but I like it anyway.

Czechia: fun song. Fun performance. She fixed up those vocals that had been off in the prepaties, and I'm happy to see this song in the final

Romania: it's fun. It's dancy. I like it.

UK: sorry to my one british mutual who is over the moon about this song. I'm not big on songs that are all falsetto like this. Gimme the range. This is comparatively low for personal taste reasons, but it is a good song and I do sing along when it is on.

Moldova: the song isn't amazing but they are having so much fun and I'm happy they qualified.

Estonia: not my genre but it's well done

Ukraine: still very uncomfortable about the two guys with the fake dreads. The song is catchy and well composed, but I just don't love it, and there are a lot of songs here that I do love. I expect them to finish on the left hand side, but this is where they are for me just evaluation the song and not the political context.

Sweden: nice enough, but I don't love her voice or the staging particularly. 0 idea why this is in the favorites to win, but here we are I guess.

Iceland: lovely and melo, but I do admit that I forget about it sometimes.

Azerbaijan: the staging elevates it a lot even if that first part gives me a knee-jerk "why would you lay down on the bleachers" reaction lol. I wouldn't have put them in the final, but they're here.

Armenia: this must be spectacularly boring to watch live, but the song is kinda cute.

Italy: those high notes just sound like so much work, and aparently the dress rehearsals have been a mess.

Germany: it's just a bit boring.

Finland: still find them annoying, but at least they are having fun.

Switzerland: do I even have to expain this one?

[totaldramafan-lauri]

Eurovision 2021 final thoughts

Well.....it’s over.

It feels great, but also kinda weird to be done with it. I mean, it took an extra year to get here! But I’d say it was worth the wait....

Holy CRAP this year was good. Oh my god, this was SO much fun to watch! The presentation, voting, and especially the songs were unbelievably strong! It made me so happy that my bad luck in the semifinals didn’t even let me down all that much, so that’s a good sign. XD

I haven’t shared this before, cuz I didn’t wanna be a downer, but.....there was a part of me that was worried. Even after listening to and loving the majority of the entries, I was still worried that, when the show started, there’d be some kind of big tell that....this wasn’t a “normal” Eurovision. Something that would bring my enjoyment of the show down to a level where....I-I’d only be able to say “at least it took place, but it wasn’t as strong as usual”. That small, pessimistic part of me that was so hurt by last year that it’d become cynical, and scared of getting hopes up.....but I hid it. I love this contest so much that....bringing down the mood for my fellow fans wouldn’t be cool at all.

And thankfully.....I came out of this with a big smile on my face like normal. I enjoyed this year just as much as previous years! In terms of the songs alone, I’d seriously call this one of my favorite years, probably just behind 2016 (my favorite year). The fact that I don’t just agree with the winner, but I LOVE the winner, was definitely the icing on the cake! But the presentation was also outstanding! It really feels like everything was put into this contest to make it as enjoyable as possible with the limitations they were given. The interval acts were great, especially getting to see so many of the winners again! The rooftop concerts in the final were a lot of fun. But, as good as everything in the final was.....When the first semifinal started, and I saw that there was a crowd, coupled with the song that Duncan sang, I legit thought I was gonna cry. That’s definitely gonna stick with me in the future when I think of the most memorable moments of watching Eurovision. I could seriously go on and on about how much I enjoyed watching this....so I will!

Oh god the voting. OH GOD THE VOTING. Tense as always, and I loved it! No clear favorite, the juries making decisions the televoters didn’t agree with, a plethora of different countries getting twelves, and an ending that proved my predictions wrong in the best way possible. It was the BEST way to end the contest, and a very good example of why I’m really loving having the jury vote and televote separated....cuz you never know what’ll happen until the very! Last! Moment!

Seriously, that moment of Finland’s televoting result making them in the lead for a brief period was AWESOME. And then it was Ukraine, and then it was Italy, and I was thinking “oh god slow down, my poor heart-” And yeah, there were SO many great songs and great performances that it really did feel like a close race! 

Even rewatching it was exhilarating! Rewatching it also made me appreciate things that I didn’t before (due to being, well....too caught up in the moment). Like, the wide range of music genres in the top five! I hope this inspires more diversity in future years! I mean, you got Italy bringing us rock (which, by the way, never dies), you got France bringing us a classic waltz, you got Switzerland bringing us a powerful modern ballad, you got Iceland bringing us disco, and you got Ukraine bringing us.....well, a friend of mine called it “folktronica”, and yeah, I don’t think there’s a word that describes them better. XD

Not only that, but there’s one more interesting thing about this top five! Can you guess what it is?

......

......Yeah, only one of them’s in English! Imagine that, entries that DON’T have to be in English to become big hits! Seriously, I’m American and even I know that having understandable lyrics is really more of a nice bonus in Eurovision. What’s most important is having a song that sounds good. And if a song sounds best in another language, you don’t have to translate it for the contest! (Especially if it results in obvious ESL that loses the song’s original meaning, but that thankfully hasn’t happened often) Don’t be afraid to send songs in your native language! I hope people learn from this...

(But then again, this has happened before.....In 2007, the winning song wasn’t in English, runner-up was in multiple languages and third place was also not in English, so....I’m probably putting too much emphasis on this, s-sorry >.<)

But enough about the top five, let’s look at the full results:

I’ll say it again.....this is my favorite winner since “Heroes”. I love the Italian entry, and I’m very happy that they proved me wrong. I didn’t think they could do it. Not only is it a rock song, which isn’t to everyone’s tastes....but it’s from Italy, who seemed to be cursed to never win even while sending fan-favorites year after year. Two second places (oneofwhichwasunserved*cough*2011*cough*butIdigress), one third place that also won the televote that year, and one very, very robbed sixth place. I thought this was gonna be another one of those cases where Italy get screwed somehow by other, more popular songs. But I still absolutely loved the song and rooted for it anyway, and......lo and behold, here we are. A rock song won Eurovision. A rock song in Italian. And it’s awesome, and I couldn’t be happier! To be specific, they were my fourth favorite in the final, but they were my favorite of the possible winners, so it still feels like the best case scenario! Woo!

Having the runner-up also from the Big Five is kinda surreal, since save for Italy they’re usually all underrated due to not having to pass through a semifinal (with exceptions like Germany 2018 and Spain 2012 and 2014). That’s a cool way of looking at this, since.....I’m sorry, but I never got the hype behind France’s song.....It was well-performed, but.....I just find it kinda boring, save for the ending. I-I feel bad that I couldn’t make myself love it, cuz I wanted to, but I just....couldn’t. I guess it’s a case of me being too stupid to get it, pffffff. But I don’t dislike it, so I’m fine with it being the runner-up.

Switzerland won the jury vote and achieved their highest placement since.....*looks it up*....1993, geez.....AKA, their highest placement since I started watching. XD This is FAR from my favorite entry of theirs, but I still like it fine and I’m happy to see Switzerland do well. It was a powerful song. And, unlike other jury-pleasers like the Austrian entry in 2018 and the Macedonian entry in 2019, they actually got a triple-digit score from the televote! They were loved all around! The same goes for France, so....that makes the most obvious “jury bait”, uh....Portugal, I guess. XD

Iceland came fourth, and.....can I just say how bad I feel for those guys? From having a potential win snatched from under them by last year’s cancellation, to one of them getting Covid the day before their semifinal, making them the only act that couldn’t perform live, it felt like Iceland couldn’t catch a break. But thankfully, due to their very strong rehearsals, they were able to rise above it and come fourth PURELY based on the strength of their song. Heck YEAH, what a beautiful ending to this story. They weren’t one of my personal favorites, but it was still a very cute song, and it DESERVES its placing just so much.

Ukraine’s song was one that only got better and better for me over time, and it was also the favorite song of a friend of mine, so seeing them in the top five makes me happy too! That’s a FUN song, and it’s near universally loved, so I wasn’t too surprised. I did guess that it had a chance at pulling off the win, but the competition was too strong. In a weaker year, they probably would’ve done it.

I’m really happy to say this next one: Finland came sixth! WOOOOOO! Their first top ten result since Lordi’s win and awwwww MAN do they deserve it. Such an awesome, intense song! It was my favorite song in the final, and I wasn’t alone! They brought the roof off the place, and for good dang reason! Seeing Finland do so well after being so underrated for so long.....it makes me very happy to see that happen. Especially with a song as amazing as “Dark Side”. It’s now a permanent part of my playlist, and I love it. <3 Empire of the freaks, all drinks on ME!

(I stand by the fact that Finland should just keep sending rock songs to Eurovision. They’re clearly very good at making those)

Now, Malta coming seventh.....hmmm....I have some problems with this? I mean, pre-contest favorites not doing as well as predicted HAS happened before (oh, hello 2017), but that doesn’t mean I’m not a little surprised? I really do think they deserved to do a bit better.....I thought that was a top five-worthy song and performance.....I’m happy with the top five we got, but I didn’t think Iceland and Ukraine would place over Malta! Destiny had one of the best voices of the show! If I had to guess, it was because they performed so early? Or maybe people just overhyped the heck out of it and it got old. I dunno. Seventh is still good for Malta. So yeah, it’s not bad, just a bit surprising.

Lithuania in eighth, I pretty much called. I knew that was a top ten song. Still couldn’t beat LT United’s record though, pfffffff.....Guess Lithuania have to try even harder to do that. XD Russia was another one I knew would be in the top ten. Their song had a very strong message that sticks with you. Lithuania and Russia may not have been favorites of mine, but I can’t complain with their results at all.

And finally, rounding out the top ten is my second-favorite, Greece, tied with Bulgaria! I’m more than happy with this result for Greece - I would’ve liked to see them do a BIT better, but a top ten finish is a top ten finish, and the competition was really strong. Their entry was still fantastic! A powerful song I can’t get enough of AND the best staging of the year. You can’t say Greece didn’t try their hardest!

As for Bulgaria....not complaining. It was a fan-favorite for a while, but for me, it was a song that I loved the lyrics to, but not much else. I did think it’d do a bit better purely because of how relatable the lyrics were, but with this competition? This was the best they were gonna get. XD A slow song in a sea of high energy-performances. Makes it stand out, but not necessarily be what people wanna hear.

The same is true for Portugal, who had the other slower song. THIS was the “jury bait”. XD Seeing how many points the jury gave them compared to the televote....wasn’t all that surprising. It’s not a bad song at all. It’s actually pretty good. And twelfth is a good result for Portugal. I think they can be happy with that. “Jury bait” isn’t a bad thing at all, cuz I’ve liked plenty of songs that’ve had similar results (I’ve even loved a couple of them)

Moldova were a surprise for me. I honestly expected them to place toward the bottom. Their entry was fun, sure, but I didn’t think it....stood out all that much? I feel like it was missing something staging-wise. Moldova’s entries usually have really creative staging, so yeah, maybe I just felt a bit let down. But the song’s good. It just....was a party song in a sea of them. XD

Now Sweden, on the other hand.....I’m actually not surprised THAT much. Yeah, I did at first predict that it’d finish in the top ten, cuz....well, it’s Sweden, and the song was good and seemed to be popular. But after the first semifinal, reading comments and posts from fans really made me realize just how many people....don’t like “Voices”? It’s been called generic a lot, and.....well, I don’t agree. I think it’s a very good song. But I’m just one person and yeah, seeing the popular opinion of it just drop like that made me change my mind on calling it a top ten song. XD Not gonna act like seeing Sweden on the right side of the board (even at the top of it) isn’t still a bit weird, though....

Serbia, I thought would do better. I thought they’d be higher than Moldova at least. That was a big crowd-pleaser and a great hype song. I didn’t think it’d be a front-runner or anything, but I did think it’d be on the left side of the board. I can’t even say that it being in Serbian held it back, cuz this year proves that non-English songs can and will be fan-favorites. So.....I dunno what happened there.

After Serbia are two other party songs, Cyprus and Israel. I have nothing really to say about Israel. I thought they’d do about this well. And Cyprus, I’m kinda bummed didn’t do better, since it was a GREAT performance - it was enough to win me over, when it was a very hit-and-miss song for me before the contest - but going first when already there were a lot of party songs to compete with probably did them in. Oh, and the people who think parts of the song are annoying, like......I did for a while.....ahem. >__>

Then we come to Norway.....who were my third-favorite. At first, I was kinda....OK, very surprised at how they did, especially when it came to the juries. But after learning that they were only five points away from not qualifying for the final.....I’m just happy they were there. I’m happy I got to hear that song in the final. It’s obviously not to everyone’s tastes, so I shouldn’t have expected it to do well. I was just a bit hopeful. As it is, I love the song, and it’s currently one of my go-to songs to sing to myself. XD (Also, TIX is an icon)

Belgium getting only three points from the televote was painful, since I did like their entry a lot......but I can’t act like I didn’t at least kinda see it coming. Even though I liked them, I was still surprised they even made it to the final. XD With such strong competition, a band just standing there and singing a downbeat song? Yeah, this was as good as they were gonna do. Still a very cool song, but standing out was always gonna be an issue for them. They also performed really early on, so that probably didn’t help.

Azerbaijan....oh Azerbaijan.....how did they do you like that. Seriously, down in twentieth? What are they doing in twentieth!? They were one of the best of the upbeat songs! They stood out! I’d put them above Cyprus and Israel easily! I don’t understand that.....I do understand Albania though. They were pretty much doomed. Barely qualified for the final, and then stuck in second position. Ouch. Kinda unfortunate, since I actually like Albania’s song a bit more now after hearing it live....

I really, really, REALLY wanted San Marino to do better. I was HOPING they’d do better. They were clearly trying really hard this year. The little country that could, pffff....And if you ask me, “Adrenalina” is probably the most solid song they’ve ever sent (I say this as someone who loves “Spirit Of The Night”, for the record), so I thought it deserved to give them their best result ever. But....nah. It did worse than “Say Na Na Na” because....I dunno.....Serhat funny? That’s all I got....seriously, it’s unfortunate. The dream should’ve done better than the meme. XD

And we finally come to the flops.....the four countries that got nul from the televote, all automatic qualifiers. Seriously, why did FOUR countries get nul? At least three were saved by the juries, but if you ask me, it was still unfair.....

The Netherlands are the one I easily have the hardest time understanding. Germany, while I found their song funny, I can easily see why people would find it annoying (I DID think the televote would like them MORE than the juries though?), and I was not expecting them to do well, because it didn’t seem like they were trying to do well. They were just having fun. Spain, well.....a good singer does not a good entry make. It’s the Eurovision SONG Contest, not Singer Contest. If the song fails to stand out, you’re doomed. I was impressed by their performance, but it’s still just a ballad. It’s sad when you know the story behind it, though....And with the UK, it was a party song in a sea of party songs. It had TOUGH competition.

But....the Netherlands? Why the CRAP didn’t they get points from the televote? While not one of my absolute favorites, that was a darn good song and a great live performance. What happened? I don’t understand! There was nothing else that sounded like that! It was unique and sounded great, wh- my brain hurts....

On the UK getting nul overall though, I do have some complaints. Sure, it failed to stand out, but to score nothing? A bit unfair, isn’t it? I mean, there was nothing wrong with the song or the performance at all! It was the most fun song the UK have sent in years! I liked hearing a fun song from them! And c’mon, they’ve sent a lot worse before and still got points. “Still In Love With You” got points. That was debatably a joke song. “Love Will Set You Free” got points. That was a boring ballad. Heck, even flipping “That Sounds Good To Me” - it came last, but it at least got SOME points! And that song was CRAP.

Now, thankfully, I didn’t love this song nearly as much as I loved “Bigger Than Us”, so I’m not super salty about it or anything. I’m not gonna rant about the UK coming last again. I’m just.....a bit baffled by the nul. Geez, UK, who did you piss off? Eh, it’s not the end of the world or anything.....and I’ve been through good songs getting nul before (....”Black Smoke”....forever confused TT__TT)

It does make me a bit....hesitant....to track down the BBC commentary for this show. I usually love watching it that way, and it’s my preferred way to rewatch Eurovisions. And usually, Graham is a really good sport about the UK’s poor results (even when coming in last like 2010), but....how’d he handle a nul? XD I hope he didn’t overly praise the song....

So......yeah, that’s about it! I’ve missed rambling about Eurovision, and now.....it’s over! It was a good year, and I had a great time. It truly was a ride. Here’s hoping next year in Italy will be just as fun.

Until next year!