#man i jsut. fuck dude

[devotedlystrangewizard]

one last opportunity to destroy karlach's expectations god bless

[3416]

no mitch for auston's 60th is gonna kill me

[waywardsalt]

Can you please tell more about your redeemed Bellum that hangs around with the main cast in post-canon? Or, like, your hum!Bellum ideas in general?

Ooooh, I have a lot I could say about Bellum. I'll go a bit off this ask and just talk about him in the context of post-ph and some other aus, since he's fun and because most of them share the common thread of him being in human form often. This will probably be messy, but I'll divide it into sections to force myself to stick to one topic at once to keep this from devolving into what might as well be a transcript of a discord dms infodump.

(there should be a keep reading just under here- there are a few thousand words under the cut- if it's lower than it should be then idk, even while drafting this i had issues with it moving further down than i put it)

Human Bellum Basics (mostly design stuff)

It's less of a human Bellum au sort of thing, and more like a design for what if Bellum had a human form that he could change into. Kind of like Oshus having his human form while actually being a whale, it's the idea that Bellum can switch between his human form and his demon form at will, and I have spent... way, way too long trying to figure out this design.

I can't quite remember why I decided to give Bellum a human form (could've been anything from doing it for the hell of it to for shipping purposes) and it took AGES to decide on his final design.

Describing it would take a few paragraphs, so there's art! Commission pieces by @roskii specifically, he's great, he did great, check him out. (i dont know how to make these smaller :)))))) enjoy)

Half of it is directly taken from his demon design, he keeps the tentacles (not always present, he manifests them at will and tend to have much less reach when he's human), his eye, his teeth, his hair color (kind of), and half of it is more... brought in by ideas related to Bellum in general, with some vague references to that demon design; specifically him being scarred all over is a mixture of the idea of him as a violent and almost warlike creature, while also vaguely referencing the markings on his demon body (in the earliest drawing I ever did of a human Bellum design, he did just straight-up have those markings. That picture no longer exists, I'm sure).

As a basic reference, I suppose, in the second image, the character to the right of Bellum (Damien Fletcher) is an oc of mine, and therefore a character I designed (totally worth mentioning tho that with both Damien and Bellum while I did technically design them and gave roskii my notes for how they look, he also took some small liberties with their designs and... ugh theyre great im keeping them), so those two could provide some insight to my character design sensibilities, even if they're just a small fraction of the (mental) character designs I have.

Bellum is made up of pieces of his canonical design, pieces that I think make sense considering what we know about him, and just pieces of other character designs. He has more or less the same haircut as Joker/the protagonist from Persona 5. His hair has been like that for a while, but seeing Joker's hair helped me figure out specifically what I wanted.

It's been... hard, trying to give him a humanoid design, I've seen a bunch of other human Bellum designs, looked at other Zelda characters with both human and inhuman forms, took inspiration for what I could do and how and what parts could be carried over. His hair is easy to explain, it literally is meant to look like he does as a demon. Easy. It is absolutely directly inspired by that bitch from Tokyo Ghoul. I'm not looking up the character name I don't care about Tokyo Ghoul.

I keep him having sharp teeth, I've transposed those markings on his bodies as being scars (which I'll elaborate a little more on later), kept his eye and that he only has one main eye (there is nothing under the eyepatch. It's just smooth. If you've seen The Goonies, it's like what's going on with One-Eyed Willy. That's probably where I got it from tbh), the yellow and black color scheme is further kept with a yellow tank top-esque shirt and black pants and boots, and while they're not constantly present he still has access to his tentacles.

He's not human, just pretending to be.

Leading me to some other little details, such as his lack of ears. And nails. And. Other things not visible that he didn't bother with. He pretends to be human, but doesn't care enough to look truly human- though he can pass as human. When he does bother to actually look human, he does have nails and ears, and changes his eye to a human one, with a color of choice. He goes by 'Warren' when actually pretending to be human. It doesn't mean anything in particular it's just a play on how 'bellum' is latin for 'war'. But, most of the time, he's not really trying. A sense of lack of real care is something I try to communicate with his humanoid design, hence him having generally baggy and plain clothes.

The 'war' thing about his character I think is decently expressed in game with him having an army of sorts with the phantoms and him just coming off as sort of violent but strategic. He also seems very scrappy, mostly attacks with direct contact including just straight up running into Link, and seems to put a lot of stock into sheer force and just fucking killing you at any cost after a certain point, but seems genuinely wary and cornered once someone is shown to be capable of actually posing an actual threat. I like the idea of human Bellum being a bit of a brawler in a sense, fighting with his bare hands and just being incredibly violent when he fights like a human, really only breaking out his more supernatural abilities when he just wants to get shit over with.

Part of the fun with Bellum is that there isn't much to him, so I'm taking a lot of liberties with him. His loose clothes are something that won't really get in the way of him fighting and do the bare minimum, and the boots he wears have metal toes for just a bit of extra ways to hurt people. He's built but still soft in places, not intended to be a muscular as Damien, he's intentionally designed his own human form to be a bit unassuming, so I've kept that he's made of a lot of circular shapes, his face is meant to be a bit of a round shape, his hair gives a round shape, and though he's fairly tall (he and Damien are 6 feet tall btw Linebeck throws off every post-ph cast height comparison) I think of him being a bit... small? If that makes sense? His clothes help with that, they're slightly oversized, and his posture isn't great; He's a bit like a delinquent, starting fights intentionally for the sake of violence and putting little effort into his appearance.

His scars are technically cosmetic. They aren't results of injuries; technically nothing but the Phantom Sword and things like it can hurt him. His scars are references to the markings on his demon body, and just further reflection of him being a creature all about violence and conflict. They aren't totally consistent between the times he uses his human form, but some of the bigger ones are, most notably the scar across his face.

I'll be honest. My earliest human Bellum designs were some Tumblr sexyman shit and I've been trying to ditch that SO BAD ever since. I think I've done well. The scar across his face is a big one. An added imperfection, a massive facial blemish that isn't really conventionally great to look at. His nose specifically has been though some development stages, at first I kept switching between different full nose shapes, then brought in the facial scar and decided that he'd be missing a chunk of that nose, then, decided, fuck it! I can't decide on a nose shape, so he gets no nose at all. I think it works pretty well and I like it.

I really tried to get in a lot of his personality to the design, and I don't want to go into all of it in this section, so just keep in mind that a lot of his design has been influenced by the way I've decided to write him, and some stuff I've already mentioned might be made a little clearer when I get into that. As a quick aside, he's pale partially because I've intentionally made him look halfway similar to Link, and partially because I figure he does not get a lot of sun; you literally meet him in what is effectively a basement, and from the way he operates, probably hasn't made himself seen in a while by the time the events of the game happen. He can't get sunburns, but, as he cannot change a lot of extremely major things about his human form, he can't manually change his skin tone in a major way, and it's likely that when he was considerably younger and newer and spent time in the sun, his skin tone would be closer to Oshus's, so a bit more tan.

In the Context of Phantom Hourglass and Post-PH

Moving swiftly on, as there is pretty much no real info about Bellum's background, I have taken matters into my own hands and decided a lot of it for myself in headcanon; Bellum is technically Oshus's son. Not in the traditional sense, but he was created by Oshus and can very much be considered his child, and to an extent, Ciela, Leaf, and Neri are all also Oshus's kids due to them being created by him (yea even considering Ciela calling him 'grandpa', in her and my defense she lost her memories and he is old as a human), therefore making (in some terms) Bellum to be Oshus's son and the brother of the three spirits. I think it's an interesting dynamic, to have Oshus be the one responsible for Bellum's existence, and for the three spirits you travel with and help you defeat Bellum to be closely related to him.

Oshus himself (when you get the hourglass in ph) says that the sand of hours is made of force gems of the ocean king (whatever... that wording means)- which then suggests that at the end of the day, all sands of hours are derived from the power of the ocean king, and Bellum dissolves into that sand at the end of the game, and I am standing in front of a wild-looking conspiracy cork board trying to piece this all together. I find it interesting if Oshus was the one who created Bellum before he created the three spirits.

(This is a topic for another post/fic but Leaf and Neri were neglected so bad in ph and it would be interesting to see more of how they feel abt Ciela before she gets her memories back and how they feel abt... anything else ig. I think they're neat, too, and I like tying the spirits together with Bellum in this way)

In Phantom Hourglass, it's strongly suggested (mostly through dialogue) that it's been a decent amount of time since Bellum defeated Oshus and took over the Temple of the Ocean King and created the Ghost Ship (though I suppose it could be possible that the Ghost Ship's existence precedes Bellum taking over that temple and defeating Oshus), but things across that sea are relatively calm, despite the new influx of monsters and the Ghost Ship making most people too afraid to sail. No one knows it's Bellum, though, and people do know about the Ocean King, so I wonder if Bellum is known about at all by the general public, or is a being that's more or less completely unknown? My personal theory is that he's vaguely known in some sense, as an obscure deity, and that he was behind the collapse of the Cobble Kingdom, since they were aligned with the Ocean King and Bellum appears to be his direct enemy and would likely then target the allies of his enemy.

Bellum seems to do a lot of behind the scenes stuff, never been seen until the end of the game and not even being mentioned until halfway through. As I think I've said before, he's practically won by the time he comes across Link and Tetra, the Ghost Ship going out and collecting people for him while he sits at the bottom of the temple and drains anyone who might be heading directly for him. He doesn't even seem to concerned about hunting Oshus down for good, and I suspect he likely doesn't even know about Ciela being split apart, so (asides from my idea that gods/spirits/stuff like that only being able to be sealed away, only properly killed under certain circumstances) I bet there's a level of confidence that he's got things under tight enough wraps that he's good to do whatever he wants.

Aaaand then he panics when he realizes how much of a wrench in his plans Link is, throwing two sea monsters at him and causing earthquakes, he's a procrastinator, I think. That, or he underestimated this kid. Both are very possible. Either way, it's interesting to look at what he's done and caused, hiding away the spirits and beating back the Ocean King, taking over his temple, creating the Ghost Ship to roam indefinitely, screwing with the Yook and wiping out pretty much all of the Isle of Ember, and likely being the reason behind the increased number of monsters. If you really look into it, while most characters don't really seem to realize, things are kind of fucked at the start of Phantom Hourglass, and it's interesting how Oshus himself seems powerless and even dissuades Link from giving it a shot, even if he secretly wants him to go and handle things.

With my idea of Bellum being a sort of technical relative to Oshus and the spirits, it opens up a handful of new avenues for motivation beyond just being after securing control and a steady stream of prey, I enjoy the idea of it being a matter of him becoming more and more ambitious, far beyond the station he was created for; going off of his name and ability to create phantoms, I imagine Oshus created him specifically to be warlike, perhaps initially with the intention of having him as a more violent protector of the realm, maybe to keep monsters in check or maybe just as a secondary deity for the world of the ocean king; I'll admit, I'm still a little foggy on what Bellum would've been initially created for, the spirits are easy to figure out, but I do figure it was something not as passive as just representing something, I imagine it as a deliberate opposite to Oshus himself to account for his weaknesses. Either way, I figure a part of Bellum's motivation involves him wanting more than he was given access to by Oshus, and deciding to fully wage war against him in a sense. The short and silly version is that Bellum is Oshus' shitty disowned son. Oshus isn't entirely innocent in whatever I decide caused Bellum to turn on him and the spirits, but Bellum does suck: that is important. The Cobble Kingdom looks like it's been destroyed for a while, I figure that was Bellum's first major target when he started outwardly going after Oshus and hunting the humans of the realm.

In Post-PH, he's the group's pet evil squid on a very very very short leash until he starts behaving himself and having a character arc.

Effectively, Bellum doesn't die at the end of Phantom Hourglass, instead being broken down into the sand of hours he's made of and being sealed inside the Phantom Sword- after all, after the final boss, the sand Bellum turns into goes into the Phantom Sword. I imagine that the Phantom Sword, after breaking and restoring Oshus, turns into the hourglass for Link to keep, while Oshus and the spirits keep the remaining sands, therefore keeping a hold of Bellum. (A bit like Oshus just being left alone after Bellum defeating him, they can't really kill Bellum so they just keep an eye on him while he's in a weakened state) They kind of just keep him prisoner at the bottom of the Temple for a bit, and Oshus finally decides to send him to Link's world as a punishment, since he's at his weakest and Oshus wants to get him to learn some lesson, it's a work in progress. Bellum is grounded in Post-PH.

It's basically that 'the villain when you unlock him as a playable character' bit, where he's quite a bit weaker than he is in Phantom Hourglass, though mostly for the sake of keeping things balanced, so Bellum can't break everything for everyone. He's still powerful, he still accesses his demon form, can't be conventionally killed or injured, and move through walls and turn people to stone, the whole deal, it's just that his demon form's size is impacted (i hc that the size of his demon form can be manipulated at will, but the largest size is dependent of how much power/stored life force he has. he's small at the start of post-ph, but his human form isnt impacted at all. i imagine that for beings like oshus and bellum, their human form is a like a 'low power mode' kinda thing) So Bellum is the Post-PH crew's fourth member, the swabbie on the ship and pet sea monster when they need it and when he has the energy for it.

Bellum is kept mostly in line by a vague fear of Link and his general fear, respect, and curiosity about Linebeck. Linebeck is usually the one holding onto Bellum's leash. Bellum is decently civil with the group from the start, since he's weak and unable to return home until Oshus permits it or he gathers enough power to make that trip, and works mostly as a fighter- when he wants to. The earliest limitation I came up for him, since he's the member with the highest chance of breaking things, is that he will just straight-up choose not to help. He decides he's busy, decides it's not his problem, or other limitations, such as his involvement likely to cause more problems that they solve, since he's rather destructive when fighting.

He's the least sociable most of the time, for obvious reasons, but can pretend, and has the least... casual skills to offer to the group, hence why he gets stuck as swabbie (also general disrespect/as a punishment for the ph thing) and it takes a while for him to properly warm up to the rest of the group. He and Linebeck start off on decent terms and get closer through them just initially trusting each other, he and Link take the longest to get used to each other for... obvious reasons, it takes a lot of fighting together and seeing that they can rely on each other and they learn to be decent with each other just by existing in the same space, and things with Damien start off half decent, Damien was not present during Phantom Hourglass (obviously) and doesn't have the full context of how much he sucks, but it starts decent, gets worse when he learns what happened, and then gets good again because Damien's kind of amiable in general and sees that Linebeck thinks he's fine.

SO! To actually address your question about him being 'redeemed'- he does have a bit of an arc that I'm still mentally workshopping. He isn't entirely redeemed, as the group's general morality is a big off-kilter when Link isn't looking or is willing to get a little gray with things, and there's not really a whooooole lot of atonement Bellum can do in terms of the volume of bullshit he pulled in the past. It's less him atoning or w/e for the bullshit he's done, that's not entirely feasible, it's more him just. being forced to Be Decent and learn some actual kindness and think about more than just his own survival, he's essentially forced to actually appreciate life and the world, it's more him actually... experiencing the world for a reason other than consumption and war and conflict and doing what he's been told, he's effectively just on this long voyage with Linebeck, Link, and Damien, going with them from island to island and seeing what's up. I'm going to try and keep empathy out of it, so he's not really relating on a visceral level, more just choosing to be kind and take gentler paths to solving problems and interacting with others. He's also the group gremlin.

The way I write Bellum is definitionally inspired by other characters, Power from Chainsaw Man comes to mind in how he has a kind of shitty brat attitude at times, he'd fling vegetables across the room because he's a piece of shit who likes live meat. He's got his shitty messy delinquent loser side, where he causes problems and acts like some asshole teenager, and he's got his more serious, calm, almost professional seeming side that reminds the group that he's a few centuries old at the least and practically a god in his own right; generally outside of Post-PH I would pick one of these two sides to focus on for aus, but in Post-PH I need to figure out how the two of them work with how Bellum generally operates.

He's interested in Linebeck and initially decides to go along because he wants to figure him out, but grows to enjoy the rest of the group and that curiosity expands to involve the world as a whole; he experiences things like art and music, where he can't just brute-force his way into a satisfactory outcome and has to learn and find his own style, he reads books and listens to stories and sees the different ways humans live on the seas and I want his arc to, in some part, be about him just finding meaning in the world beyond what he does to secure survival, and the other members of the group introduce him to those other facets of life that he has access to, has had access to. The other part is the group getting Bellum to see most living things as more than just prey for him to hunt and consume, but that generally goes hand in hand with the prior point, as he actually enjoys life and figures out what he likes beyond the basic things he was created for.

He can't fall back on just smashing through everything or creating phantoms, since he's far too weak to do either effectively at the start, and I intend to just force Bellum into basically just being a human character with some unusually powerful magic at his fingertips, first just wanting to build himself back up to what he was in Phantom Hourglass, then just getting to see things in a new light. I'm not sure how to explain it or even what I'll want to do when I get to it, but that's the general gist of his arc, I think.

Other than that, he's just the fourth members of the crew with a serious knowledge of... a lot of things as a centuries-old demon and the hardest hitter in the group who can't and won't cook for shit and kind of just learns to actually live without constantly gunning for those bare necessities long after he's gotten them. I don't want it to be 'he learns to be human' because he... isn't human, but just him appreciating life and seeing some value in it, especially as something with as much power as Bellum, it's a bit messy and I'm still figuring it out, but I've got the general direction figured out.

Bellum is effectively the ship's best defender, and ends up fitting into the group as a friend and with his own specific role with the other individual members of the group. Linebeck kind of kickstarts his arc for him and connects with him the most and Bellum generally stays the closest with him, but Damien and Link help him see other little corners of life, as well as other characters he has to interact with, and I think I want Bellum's side of the story to have the most outstanding mundane-ity to it- there's absolutely meant to be a slice-of-life aspect to Post-PH, but I want the biggest points of Bellum's arc to be comparably the most mundane. It's the little things with him. The others have little things, too, but... I'm not sure how to express the difference, but I promise there is a difference.

Outside of Post-PH, though, when Bellum is present in a big way, his arc either tackles a similar idea in a different way, is just about something entirely different, or he doesn't have an arc at all, either due to not being a big enough part of the story or just straight up not being present.

In the Context of AUs

Bellum is only present in a handful of aus, either fully present as a character, halfway present, or just being referenced. When he is present in an au, he's usually some kind of major character, and he's notable in the crimson king au, the space au, the murder mystery au, and the horror au and one of my 'ruined hyrule' aus. (the horror and ruined hyrule au will be put together for this bc bellum's role in both are very similar) (for reference, here's my au explanation post)

In the horror au and ruined hyrule au, Bellum serves juuuust about the same role, just with different capabilities, contexts, all of that, but it's more or less the same thing. He's frequently present, but usually not acknowledged, and is very close to Linebeck in both, and the two of them pretty much rely on each other to live due to circumstances out of their control; they didn't really go into this whole thing liking each other, but have been more or less forced to become each other's friends due to proximity and just. Needing the others' presence in order to survive. In both, Bellum usually is a character who knows more than the others, but doesn't bother sharing that information since it's either not totally relevant or he just doesn't want to, and he tends to be protective of Linebeck, half because he needs him in order to live, half just because he's ended up liking him. (there is. more to say. but since i may actually write one of these aus [likely ruined hyrule bc the horror one has to be visual and it is VERY plotless rn] i'm not gonna go into much more depth since it would require spoilers lol)

Can't say a whole lot about the space au, either, since the story of that one is still a work in progress, and Bellum isn't particularly a major character, though he is important to some B-plot stuff. Without digging up too much world building and background and general story stuff and important plot bits, he's got a fairly close relationship to Linebeck in this au, as a general beneficiary and friend, and he actually tends to mind his own business and just wants to hold his own position; he's not really antagonistic or anything, but definitionally morally dubious even if he doesn't really directly do a whole lot.

In the Crimson King au, though, Bellum is one of the main characters, and a bit different than in ph-related stuff. He spends a lot of time in his human form, only switching to his little demon form a handful of times, and usually just for fun. He plays the role of Linebeck's closest friend and beneficiary, practically being the reason why Linebeck is able to do any of the things he does in the story, helping him from behind the scenes at times and balancing that business with Linebeck with his more outward appearance as a mostly normal guy working for the person who runs his section of the city... who also happens to be him. The vague politics in this au would take a bit to explain in full, but Bellum in this au spends a lot of time keeping his actual identity under wraps, the basic premise being that he's decided to integrate himself into current mortal society like a normal person to see what trouble he can cause, how he could sustain himself while keeping things stable, and to see just how far he can go- essentially, the only danger he faces is if others figure out what he is, but even then, he knows he could very easily cut his losses and go back to what he's done best.

He's not very active in the main plot, mostly giving Linebeck assignments and pulling strings behind the scenes in order to help and keep him safe, but Bellum does occasionally meddle directly in Linebeck's situation whenever it relates to him, when he needs something extra done, or, later in the story, when he gets a bit worried about Linebeck. His general arc is essentially him owning up to the fact that he does, in fact, care about Linebeck's well-being. Crimson King Bellum is fun, because he can't really just be 'violent demon', and I just like the supporting role I've got him in. He's Linebeck's rich friend who hires him to kill people for him. It's fun.

How I Like to Write Him With Linebeck

Of course, Bellum is going to have stuff with Linebeck, both in aus and in post-ph. Bellum has interactions and relationships with other characters, but the dynamic(s) with Linebeck tend to be the most diverse and important.

With aus: There’s usually a general sense that Bellum is above Linebeck, both in the power sense and in the sense that he’s typically his boss or in charge of him, but in a handful they are on equal footing (specifically, the modern school one, where they’re just classmates.)- the most common dynamic is usually along the lines of Bellum hiring Linebeck to kill people for him. Bellum is typically someone that provides Linebeck with things like payment or equipment or safety- in the Crimson King au, he gives Linebeck a fair amount of money, and supplies his equipment and gives him a place to live when he does jobs for him.

I like to imagine there's a level of... recognition? Not empathy, trying to keep that to a minimum... He's almost gentle with Linebeck, and is uncharacteristically merciful towards him. In post-ph, Linebeck survives being possessed and this marks him as notable to Bellum, since most people he possess die very soon after being released, so he's initially motivated by curiosity and a desire to observe Linebeck when he acts less violently- that curiosity is the biggest reason why he's cordial with Linebeck across my aus as well.

With Phantom Hourglass-centric stuff (which is what I'll mostly just talk about here, since it's kind of the 'base' for all other Bellum and Linebeck stuff I do), Linebeck and Bellum start on halfway decent terms, I'm planning a Bellumbeck fic sometime in the future, which is a bit less focused on that actual fight and more on whatever's going on between Linebeck and Bellum. I'm still trying to pin down exactly what I want with Linebeck and Bellum's dynamic.

I’ve fallen back into shipping them, (Still iffy on ship name lmfao, Bellumbeck is taken by the game and ‘Linebellum’ is lame imo, so I’ve been sticking with just ‘bellum x linebeck’) but it’s not really typically romantic/sexual, though there are some aspects of both, it’s still kind of abstract and easier to define with example stuff rather than just trying to explain it in a concise paragraph.

They both go out of their way to effectively research each other before properly meeting, starting as just trying to find advantageous information, but eventually just doing research out of curiosity, especially on Linebeck’s end, hunting down any material that so much as alludes to Bellum while Oshus refuses to say anything extra on the topic. They have a mutual interest and curiosity about each other.

With Bellum, its a similar curiosity with how Linebeck survives being possessed, and a general interest in him as a person, as Bellum doesn't really care much about the world beyond how it can serve him, but felt the need to look into Linebeck. A lot of the time, Bellum starts with the intention of exploiting Linebeck in some way, then ends up actually caring about him, he usually goes through variations of the same arc regarding Linebeck. It works with Linebeck for me since I tend to read and write him as fairly morally gray, so he's more willing to reciprocate Bellum.

(There's also the whole bit with Linebeck being kind of a monsterfucker and having a thing for being tied up and just a handful of like. sexual stuff on Linebeck's end, but we're talking about Bellum's perspective here we can't be focusing on Linebeck)

Bellum primarily operates with survival on the mind, and at odds with anything that might get in his way, and secondarily treats mortal creatures as something to study. When his attempt to use Linebeck fails, he shifts to that studying, and therefore has some respect for him due to his survival. They both focus quite a lot on survival, and don't have the most interest in making connections, seeing most relationships as transactional. They understand each other; Bellum sees Linebeck's mind when possessing him, and therefore knows a great deal about him.

There are similarities between them; not-great relationships with their fathers, a strong desire for survival at any cost, generally low empathy and a habit of mostly viewing others for how they can be used, curiosity about anatomy, a higher tolerance for things like blood, gore, things that would likely make others squeamish, they both hate Ciela...

(As an aside to that last one, an idea I've decided to integrate into my ph stuff and may touch on in a future fic is that Linebeck calling Ciela 'sparkles' gives her a strong sense of deja-vu before she gets all of her memories back; it's something Bellum would call her, when he was more cordial with the other spirits)

Bellum hangs around on the ship, and he hangs around Linebeck the most, to the point of being annoying, but learns what boundaries are and ends up respecting them decently. I lean more into... things just working out, Bellum more or less being put in a situation where he chooses to change things up and be a bit kinder, starting with the guy he's decided was the catalyst for all of this.

He gets along well enough with Damien (damien ends up in that shipping, too, considering that he's already dating linebeck by the time bellum sorts his own feelings out, so in post-ph, bellum ends up being a sort of on-and-off polycule member), he is eventually friendly with Link, often because Linebeck likes him as well. It takes a very long time for he and Link to warm up to each other, so they'll likely end up in situations where they must rely on each other at the start of things.

Bellum is… very not used to social stuff or acting human, and isn’t even very used to his human form at the start, so he does spend that time with Linebeck while he figures things out, as well. Linebeck's not the best role model for decent social interaction, especially since he works on dismantling his own mask and figuring himself out for a bit at the start of post-ph, but he's the only person Bellum tolerates and respects at that start.

Bellum eventually gets roped into helping Linebeck cook, follows him around for ship maintenance, watches him patch up wounds, and just ends up as a crew member that can kind of fill any basic role, but he’s not making it much further than swabbie.

I haven’t actually written a ton of interaction between them yet, but what I have written always comes off as casual, almost humorous, they joke around with each other and Bellum is detached and unserious at times, but very capable of switching to dead seriousness. A lot of the time, Linebeck tends to take things more seriously at face value, but Bellum is more prone to joking around due to the fact that very few consequences mean anything to him.

He and Linebeck are typically close in one sense or another in most things where they're included, and I generally consider all dynamics between them to fall under the ship umbrella, because I don't consider it strictly romantic (though it usually ends up being vaguely like that), just more that there's some kind of intimacy between them at some point. It's a relationship whose dynamic I think is interesting given the... lack of actual interaction between them, but with just enough interesting conclusions that can be drawn.

I guess it's similar to the general stuff I have about Bellum, kind of just scraping ideas together from canon and then following whatever threads can be connected to them, while trying to make sure it still has roots in that canon. It's similar to my personal 'design philosophy' or whatever for my aus.

I've also considered making their relationship parasitic in someway, as a sort of homage/callback/reference to their canonical relationship, but it's not entirely a direction I really want to go in, and I feel like some aus get decently close.

Final Points

I think Bellum's really neat, so considering the general lack of information or depth to him, I've been playing with expanded ideas and building up my own ideas for him, specific within the context of Phantom Hourglass and a post-ph setting, while many of my other ideas with him tend to then derive from that.

His (human) design is one I've spent a very long time figuring out, trying to mix his demon design in with more human traits, trying to keep him distinctive without getting too complicated, and trying to have that design represent him decently with a fair bit of reasoning behind a lot of that design. It's something Bellum himself controls to a certain degree, so it's in a bit of a crossroads between portraying him based on his character, and being something he uses to come off as generally innocuous.

I've got a decent idea of what Bellum's whole deal is in Phantom Hourglass and afterwards, and I use him in a fair number of aus, often in tangent with Linebeck, whom I often give him some kind of intimate relationship, be it romantic or some other form of closeness, based off of ideas for ways they would interact and why.

Bellum's fun! He's fun as he is, and he's fun to build off of and develop further than what we see in the game. And giving him the ability to shift into a humanoid shape gives even more room to play around in. I don't know when I first came up with the idea, but I've had ideas for a human form Bellum for quite some time now, I've just only recently really started solidifying a lot of it. Even between the time when I got the ask and finished it, I came up with new ideas.

But for now, these are the broad strokes! Not just about post-ph humanoid Bellum, just about my ideas for him in general, though it all really relates back to that one in particular, honestly.

He's surprisingly fun to speculate about! I didn't really expect Bellum to end up as one of my favorite LoZ characters, but I guess any character can end up as your favorite if you spend enough time thinking about him. At the end of the day I think he's funky, and he's fun to use in a post-ph setting.

[absolutelybifurious]

everyone pour one out for @ataraxetta who just had to witness me get so upset and ragey about b**kt*mmy shippers that i almost cried on our discord call

and she patted me on the back and told me she loved me and understood like a champ. truly the best friend i could ask for.

i try so hard not to perceive them but man sometimes it just GETS THE BETTER OF ME.

[ozymoron]

intrusive thoughts are happening save me sophia save me...

[ominousposting]

TALK ABOUT THEM GHOULS 🎤

YIPPEEE !!!!

okay okay. rain and aether. rain and aether.

rains transfem adjacent in my heart and aeth is transmasc adjacent. they do the fun joke where rains like “damn i wish my boobs were bigger” and aethers like “you can have mine” but also its purely a joke bc aeth is a tiddies man. dudes got tits. good for him. rains a little sad they dont have bigger boobs but theyre okay enough with it bc they wear bras and it makes them feel so much more comfortable :)

also i KNOW this had been posted by someone before but i cannot remember who (i am extremely forgetful) but aeth is a no bra kind of dude. gotta let the boys breath. hes has nip slips a lot but ever other ghoul is jsut like 0-0 bc they all love his boobs and hes hot as hell. dudes fucking hot yknow

[friendlyengie]

I know you made the post about sending thoughts yesterday but I need to know what your opinions and feelings are on the cancelled tf2 show on adult swim

Man of course i would kill for some more tf2 content, and if it was of the same genre as Expiration Date like? Hell yeah dude, please. Fuck. Though part of me has like, this distant sense of. Not relief but not Total Disappointment that we didnt get it because idk. Like early 2010s adult swim humor isnt completely my thing? Like im not saying any version we’d get now would be a Vast improvement to the tone at the time but yk. Just a distant “hm hey how about that.”

But i also dont think ive ever seen any specifics about what the “adult swim show” entailed or even if it was anything more than a what if. Not saying it isnt real i jsut literally havent looked into it and anything ive seen has just been people talking about it.

Regardless, i look at expiration date and hell even the other animations for updates and stuff and my head starts spinning and wailing knowing that this is as much as we got.

[christmassavestheyear]

scaled & icy live

an hour, huh? i best get comfy.

it's all under the cut xx

the graphics are kinda funky

OH IS THIS WHERE THE PANSEXUAL FLAG COLOURS CAME FROM OKAY

i can get hype about some pink blue and yellow fr

wait is this meant to be the dema morning show?? thats so fucking funny though. thats actually so fucking funny.

okay wait so in this dema universe, in the lore, twenty one pilots is still a band? tyler joseph and josh dun are still a band?

why is he sad :(

"is that. number 16 cotton candy" bitch ofc it is

YEAH JOSH WHERE ARE YOU

u good tyler

whats with the wookie noises

into choker tho is beautiful

THE STAGE AGH

sorry brief mention to how fucking good josh looks in this video oml

the stressed out bridge coming in there????

wait are these the bishops little minions or smth cause theres too many of them to be the bishops

this is a vibey little live version

man sidenote im so ordering merch this weekend

wait wahts the light thing at the back

is that supposed to be the nine towers?

oh into migraine?? was not expecting that

"depresS" everybody fucking freeze. "ive thoughts."

into morph??

its a little all over the place but in a good way?? does that make sense

wait no bring back tylers agonised screaming

"my personal favourite, mulberry street" i hate you but same

YES MULBERRY STREET

KEEP YOUR BLISS THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS FUCK YEAH

the murals. yes

josh just doin his lil bounce in the back tho

whats with the chick wtih the teddy bear

that guy was not there before was he???

and back to the piano. agh.

the little adlibs afkdlsjfdsklfjsld

see in my head all these dancers are banditos and i will take no argument

in two days i will know this mulberry street choreo by heart. just saying

when tyler and josh are looking for people for their next venture i will be ready. im telling you now.

that girl in the front in the skirt ate that

wait whos this girl

LANE BOY FUCK YEAH

whats with the gas masks? are you my mummy? /ref

wait where did josh's shirt go not that im complaining

anybody want to learn this choreo with me too

wait i wonder if i can convince my partner to do this at our wedding actually (long long way away but i picture it being Highly Amusing)

joshs hair is just so good in this video idec

joshua william dun was that a lip bite and a wink. god fucking damn

oh hello guitar

into chlorine?? okay this setlist is. wow

whats with all of joshs costume changes??

okay tylers coat is eating here now tho

shy away yessss

the set for this is so interesting too

shy awAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

his little dance is so cute stop

also side note josh ate that fit so hard

"it brought tears to my eyes" same, dude. same.

ok that was fucking weird

that shirt should be so ugly so why is he kind of eating

the outside yes

josh in the onesie wtf😭 he's so!!!!!

hey bud where u goin

just casually breakdancing in the street. ok

"shut uP!" lmaooo

the water into the night sky into the backdrop is beautiful

THE UKULELELLELELELLELELE

WAIT HEATHENS ON UKE??? THIS IS GORGEOUS

wait he's in a boat thats so fucking cool

the sets for this are jsut fucking brilliant

i love this being just sort of him and the ukulele. i love it.

torchbearers back yaaaaay

ohhhh jumpsuit???? and the set gives the mv vibes

and then immediately into heavydirtysoul???

tyler periodically turning into a velociraptor is feeding my soul tbh

why are the hosts gradually looking more and more demonic/dead

SATURDAY AYYYYYYY

the disco ball lmaoo

the vibes here are immaculate

wait???? is that jenna?????????????????????

her sweater is so fckn cute tho

him getting off the phone and just going "oooooooooooooooOoOooooooooOOOOOOooOoOOOOOOOOoooooo" is such a mood

the BOOMBOX yES

LEVEL OF CONCERN FUCK YEAH

oooooh the backdrop here is fire?? the colour palette fdjklfjkldj

the remixed vibes of all the songs are fucking slapping. are they available to stream or anything anywhere??

riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide!!!!!!!!

the visuals have been on point this entire video can i just say

also tylers shirt is so cool???

all the horn instruments are intriguing me

josh is so!!!!!!!!!!

car radio!!! car!!!!!!! radio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this song mostly just makes me want to cry actually. but

wait the mask!!!! the!!!! mask!!!!!

THE MASK IS OFF!!!!

well that was short lived

all the sirens and the freaking out and hes just like 🥰👉👈👏👏

NEVER TAKE IT

everythings on fire. again.

the little adlibs are so fucking cute tho

also i love when tyler just fuckin. screams

the three guitars in the one shot is such a fuckin vibe

the two in the back just clapping😭

and then there were two....

the lil dragon omg

oh look whos back on the couch

choker again????? yay??????

no tyler dont be sad :(

the overhead shot of all the sets>>>>>>>>>

yeah bitches you better clap for them

wAIT THEYRE CLAPPING FOR US

no cause josh and tyler at the end there kdfjfsdjfjdksl cuties

wow okay so much to unpack there im gonna go grab some chocolates and soda water

okay i've got the chocolates and soda water.

wow! so that was quite the experience. i can kind of understand how it all ties in with the clancy storyline, but it also feels like its not really *integrated* in the storyline. at least not for me at this point.

i really really enjoyed that whole video itself, regardless of lore. it was just a very interesting and cool way to present those songs

god i wish!!!!! there was a higher quality video. i couldnt find one on any of the sites i normally use, most of them said they were taken down, so.. :(

i dont really get what was happening with the woman and the man, the hosts? like i get that they were hosting but their whole vibe was off and they kept seeming to look injured/possessed/straight up weird. so.

im gonna take a quick break, maybe 15 minutes, to just draw a little bit and have some food and water and then i'll come back to the saturday video. i'm just sort of losing my focus and i need to do something else rq to kind of get my head back into it! so brb!

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HI. MACKERELMORE. nhw trickster. killington. amity. the chaos zone. deadwood. new and funny and interesting ways to slaughter people. tide clone shit. bonesaw boiling the failed clones alive. muse. trickster using muse to do shit like u just saw in killington. the wards seeing the trickster using muse to execute people in ways Like That. holds up mic!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD. THERES SO MUCH GOOD FUCKING FOOD FOR NHW IN THE CHAPTERS I READ EARLIER. fuck. god. shit. okay.

starting with the trickster bc i feel like when i get into tides stuff ill talk for 10 years. ohhhhh my god dude as soon as they walked into a town called fucking KILLINGTON ????? i was like. god thats a joke trickster would make huh!!!!! hed think thats so fucking funny. (and it is. but only to me who has the advantage of seeing this as a narrative and not a real event i am experiencing. fucking hilarious shit. killington??!?!?!?!? killington. ) i have a lot of thoughts about the shit he did to Amity before he escaped and like. yeah. fuckin yeah. i dont think he wouldve killed Everyone in the city (gotta have. puppets to play with and also like. people who hes not controlling to chase around and hunt for sport) (this is fucking terrifying and awful! this is so bad! like catastrophically so!) but i definitely think when the wards go to amity (because i want them to do that so bad at some point) i think it will be in sort of a similar state to this with like. bodies strung up like decorations. graffiti made from fuckign. ash and blood and paint all mixed together. really obviously placed traps. etc etc etc. jsut like. evidence that this place is like his fucking playground! horrifying!

anyway yeah also muse holy shit. muse has to singlehandedly raze at least one fuckign town. for sure. dude dude like that fucking video jack had where they had everyone gathered together before they started killing them? that but with trickster and muse? and its . more fucking scary because instead of 200+ slaughterhouse 9 clones its literally JUST trickster and muse. and whatever random handful of puppets trickster is controlling around the edge of the crowd for extra sets of hands.. aauogaouguguhhghhhgh. i need them to do horrific shit.

OKAY. CLONE TIME. CLONE TIM.E . OUGHGHHGHGH TIIIIDE. TIIIIIIIIDE. how many failed clones do you htink there were. how many failed clones to make tide and magma. do you think they know about the failed clones. they got fucking BOILED ALIVE. do u think tide and magma ever see any of the other clones before theyre ready and they have to look at their own fucking faces (face?) and think about that. i still have that post abt the lambert family in my drafts god i need 2 finish that but. in my mind tide and magma are the oldest (technically magma is the oldest but tide was like. a year or less after him so theyre closer in age) and then it was. seismic and whirlwind at the same time so theyre twins. and then shockwave. and then elle. so i think tide and magma have that Eldest Sibling bond where they have. Issues that are parallel to each other. and a LOT of that comes from being endbringer juniors and a lot of that comes from being clones. but where magma got closed off and aloof about it tide like. desperately clung to kindness bc he doesnt like when people are scared of him. anyway im getting distracted. FUCKING CLOOOOOONE SHIT. CLONE LORE. WORM CLONE LORE. THE WHOLE LIKE. either implanting false memories from other people or needing to raise them from scratch????? thats fucking insane. oh my god. what the fuck kind of memories do u think they got. obviously a lot from dr lambert but like. man. do u think the endbringer thing is like baked into their fucking memories. its in their dna. i didnt quite understand the bit about bonesaw trying to give them their powers but if altering memories can alter what sorts of powers they get...... do the endbringers have dna. do u think tide and magma got endbringer dna in them. that would be sick (both in the sick meaning cool way and in the im gonna make myself sick way). actually that brings up the point. are the endbringers even organic??????????? or are they constructs?????????? since they were confirmed created by someone/something....... man. MANY THOUHGST HEAD FULL. HAVING A LOT OF EMOTIONS ABOUT NHW TIDE. bonesaw boiled the failed clones alive. i dont . i dont think tide and magma were ever *kids* (which is like. ow.) but like. god im just imagining the part in trigun where vash and knives find whats left of tesla. holy shit dude. do you see my vision here

[saytrrose]

I just realized the only reason I identify as Apagender and use any pronouns is because I really fucking wish I could transition as a man and look like a guy and I think I’m still a transguy and I was out as such for 6 years but because my family handles it so fucking badly and would verbally degrade me everyday and cut contact I’ve just forced myself to identify with my femininity but djdjsk oh my god I just went back into hiding but not completely like I want to die dude

Like if my parents just fucking died like my family and they weren’t in the picture I’d come back out as trans and present as such and I jjjj jsut realized that I would 100% legitimately do that I jsut overly feminize myself so desperately because I know my family would disown me ighhhzIsdhbd

it fucking sucks it’s fine I’m fine I’ll just wait til I’m like 35 and have a midlife crisis and transition then omgg

[cassyapper]

HIIIIIII omg I haven't been active much on Tumblr at all aside from mindlessly reblogging stuff :wail: anyway oh my GAWD some (a lot) of the lyrics in this song fit wwm/ta 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 also I still haven't been able to do any digital art noooooo I'm going to shrivel up and wither away if I cant soon I NEED to do things like draw ur blog banner with kakyoin on it like I said I would 😭 but anyway,,,,

"Now I am stuck between my anger / and the blame that I can't face / And memories are somethin' even / smoking weed does not replace / And I am terrified of weather / 'cause I see you when it rains" "No, I am no longer funny / 'cause I miss the way you laugh" "And it's half my fault / but I just like to play the victim" "And I'll dream each night of / some version of you / That I might not have / but I did not lose / Now you're tire tracks / and one pair of shoes And I'm split in half, / but that'll have to do"

"Oh, that'll have to do / My other half was you / I hope this pain's just passin' through / But I doubt it"

AAAAAUUUUGHHHH THEM. DO YOU GET MY. MY VISION.

wait I think this song is in that one Spotify list I put together for wwm/ta oughhh,, but I never like. explained it. anyway GAUGH howve you been!!!

IT'S OKAY DUDE YOU DON'T OWE ANYONE AN ONLINE PRESENCE I JSUT HOPE YOU HAVE BEEN WELL!!!! IT'S GOOD TO SEE U BACK!!! <333 i've also been busy as hell so i get it chief

AND PLEASE IT'S OKAY IF U NEVER DRAW IT MAN I DONT WANT U TO FEEL PRESSURED AT ALL IT IS ALL GOOD IT'S ONLY IF U EVER GET AROUND TO IT <3 I WANT U TO HAVE FUN PRIORITIZE UR JOY...

as for the song oh my FUCKING GOD. IT'S SO FUCKING REAL. THIS IS SO KAKYOIN WWM/TA CORE IM GONNA BE FUCKING SICK oh im actually shivering as i type im giving into grief FUUUUCK. OH MY GOD. kakyoin.............im actually sick. im adding this to my own wwm/ta playlist like FUCK

AND IVE BEEN OKAY JSUT BUSYYYY U KNOW HOW IT IS <3 I HOPE U HAVE BEEN WELL THANK U FOR THIS SONG IM ROTATING IT IN MY HEAD

[newfantasy]

Evil guy at it again *prefers it when the ship & character were het

bitching below

alright look its not about kamila being A Guy and the ships becoming Gay its not that her profound issues w gender were present from the start. her central demon is her fucking cunt man like Im not an idiot and its why i related to her so much as a very angsty teen boy w heavy sex dysphoria.

but it certainly does feel like a turning point where kamila says "i wish i was a guy" and she vomits in response. then, gaueko, immediately, w/o her consent, is like Awh yeah youre a dude now let's he/him it up even though, the person who does ask her (WELT) kamila herself says i dont know i dunno what i wanna be called yet. i dont know what id like. but because gaueko is like, Mysteriously cool, bad boy, the one opening up kamila's horizons, its actually Fine when he violates her consent like this (delegating kamila's gender & pronouns) and welt is Mean. he knows better. welt is the one keeping her trapped inside.. stupid.. babysitting the Pups (that she delegated herself into doing IRL and is like. her primary motivation?)

somehow despite being A Trans Guy i related to kamila much more when she hated her body & hated being feminine rather than expressly wanted to be a man (and to this time, still, she does not say if she identifies as a man in canon... but gaueko cool mysterious omnipotent guy.. he just knows better than kamila!!! and it's DIFFERENT than WELT (WHO IS ALSO A TRANS MAN? LOL) knowing gender and sex issues!!!) like, had it just remained an internal conflict, forever, that wouldve been more poignant instead of.... THIS, APPARENTLY, IF THIS IS WHAT A "CHARACTER COMING TO TERMS W/ THEIR GENDER IDENTITY" IS IN NRD

.. also ever since... that & she's become much more fail err kosmic redrawing "he asked for no pickles" memes w kamila like, crying behind gaueko. lol. what... this is not the failgirl i saw in myself as a teen... mopes and kicks a rock. she also keeps getting. rescued by gaueko. she can't go and self-reflect in any of the worlds w/o gaueko interrupting and ~protecting~ her...

anyway yeah in my like delusional world Im jsut binning the transman bit and keeping it as a private reserved conflict for kamila that she can solve and come to terms w/ without some Fucking Guy coming along and telling her who she is. thanks. and she fucks welt instead who Isnt a bloodthirsty cult leader

[seth-burroughs]

benefits of being yomi kin:

makes me twice as cool and sexy and automatically makes me the objectively correct authority on Yomi's character it is impossible for me to be wrong and if u tell me im wrong ill start scream crying on the floor

won kin lottery and is capable of distinguishing between Yomi Hellsmile the character and Yomi Hellsmile The Character allowing me to both quite literally be that guy and keep another version of him as my blorbo. Manifesting in the ability of fantasizing bout yomi suffering iykwim AND getting past the masochist allegations <3 Also yeah the Yomi fic is currently in works no I will not answer questions on it

this yaoihellsmile shit is sooo easy someone asks me "ouuuyy honey unwrangle my dingle in ur boioioiong and by sproingle well heh lets jsut say. my peanits. any thoughts on that mr yaoi?" and i just answer honestly straight from the heart no bullshit no rp skillz required

woaghhhhhh......... Former director of the peacekeepers homunculus clone Yomi Hellsmile from Master Detective Archives: Rain Code by Spike Chunsoft........ holy shshshit. He's Real......

disadvantages of being yomi kin:

the regular bullshittery that comes free with being fictionkin of any kind cut my wife into pieces this is my last divorce

everybody and their mom hates Yomi and even if the tag here is way less outright aggressive and I can just easily block anyone who makes me uncomfortable in any capacity, youtube is just unusable. Just. AuUUUghhhh. I know one of my fave dr youtubers is gonna play mdarc this year and I also know he's gonna absolutely hate Yomi with a passion and frequently pause the game to talk about how terrible he his yes we get it you are allowed to have opinions on fictional characters and aren't doing anything wrong by it whatever im gonns look up yomi softcore on pixiv fuka u

overly complicates my already fucked sense of self

Blood cravings got even worse😔 bad BAD this isn't sustenance it's toxic as hell christ dude STOP❗❗

not extremely likely but still very possible nightmare scenario where the precipitation cipher gets Big attracting those people and getting bombarded with kinnie jokes and annoying Ironic Kin For Fun crowd finding its way here. And that is the at best scenario, the worst one is 2015 kin drama reignited in 2020s you can't "kin" this character unless you're x or x, you can absolutely control who you're kin with and if i don't like your very voluntary choice you should stop (just stop man <3 i won't tell you how the fuck 😊) being fictionkin with a sinful evil abuser linux user makes you a bad person that deserves to be ostracized and harassed until you unlearn your problematic ways oh my god do any of you remember 2015 warrior cat kin drama what the fuck was that. i wasn't around in danganronpa fandom during that time but im pretty sure it may have been even worse there which is insane to even think about. but i mean like hey at least fictionkin were taken (mostly.) seriously back then (albeit considered deeply cringe by the masses) and not reduced to a cheap komaeda kinnies amiright joke

i suffered more than jesus actually. the demotion and arrest was SUPER unfair and cringe guys i promise im not gonna torture people from now on you can trust me in a position of power please please please no one did it like i did it

EJ MARTINA DZIE MIE KURWA WYWIEŹLI CO TO ZA ZADUPIE MARTINA. MARTINA NIE WYTRZYMAM JUŻ WEŹ HELIKOPTER I MIE KURWA ZABIERZ Z TEGO CHLEWU MAM DOŚĆ POMOCY <- wygnany do Rzeczypospolitej za swoje zbrodnie😔

Yomi is Real (threatening)

[momo-de-avis]

How about CURSED portuguese history facts?

Holy shit I don't know who sent me this but it accidentally got burried under mounds of under asks and I think it's been sitting in my inbox for a year

I feel fully armed for a few cursed facts now given my job lmfao

Here we go

1. The Ginjinha of Lisbon (OF LISBON, not Óbidos) was initially created as a cough medicine. Recomended dose? 6 glasses a day. Ginjinha has around 23% of alcohol. Yeah that sure straightened you up really well (if you look at the posters they have on both doors, the door to the left actually says the recomended dose)

2. During World War II, Lisbon received thousands of jewish refugees. Despite the war, the fact remained that these people came from, compared to our backwards provincial country, progressive places. Do you know what the most shocking thing for lisboners were? Jewish women (who, again, were pretty progressive in comparison) were seen... At cafés. Hordes of men would actually gather around these women who were dead ass just having lunch at a café because portuguese women did not go to cafés alone, as it was considered indicent and a place jsut for men. This was between 1932-1945. There’s a super interesting account of a rare case of a Jewish family that actually stayed here, and the lady describes how she went out for lunch with her mother. Suddenly, the daughter says to her mother “I think we’re starting a revolution” and she turns and sees a row of men just fucking staring at them with their jaws on the floor (source: Lisboa Judaica the book, forgot the name of the author, but it’s Francisco something).

3. Praça do Municipio is where City Hall is located. It’s a late neo-classical building that, when it was unveiled, caused a huge scandal. If you look up at the building's pediment, you will see a bas-relief with several human figures. At the centre, there is a man with his whole dick out. Which, hey, that’s standard in classical imagery, the whole nudity standing for perfection if you follow the Roman canon of art and etc. But ah, my friend, this is Portugal in the 19th century, and my God, were we a backwards country, so this is exactly what generated a HUGE scandal. You see, the problem was WOMEN. They could not possibly see this dick. So, women were forced to cover their eyes when they crossed that square. It became such a scandalous thing, one guy actually set up stand selling fans and veils for women so they could cover their eyes and cross the square without having to look at this dude's genitals. Mind you, they're hard to spot. Rafael Bordalo Pinheiro did a caricature of the event. I can't find it online but I saw it in the book I am about to give you as a source: Lisboa Desconhecida e Insólita, by Anísio Franco.

4. John VI used to hide chicken legs inside his pockets out of fear of being poisoned. He died of poison.

5. Legend says when the statue of José I was unveiled, the one in Praça do Comércio, the queen allegedly said "he looks so ugly". Allegedly, that is why he is wearing a helmet. Yes, the sculptor did nothing about the ugliness, just sort of tried to disguise it. Reminding you that this is a legend. As far as I am aware, the statue was always made with the helmet, but I honestly prefer this version, so that’s the one I tell on my tours lmfao

6. In the 16th century, Manuel I loved collecting animals he knew nothing about, and then gift them to the Pope. We know about the rhinoceros already, which ended up being painted by Dürer, but did you know he also got an elephant? One day, though, he decided it would be a great ideal to have the rhinoceros and the elephant fight each other. He set up an arena in Praça do Comércio. People went buckwild for this. It was like WWE for them. And when the two animals confronted each other.... Nothing happened. Turns out elephants are not really made to fight and the two animals didn't really give a shit about each other. However, elephants are easily spooked, and with a sudden movement from the rhinoceros, that's what happened. The elephant took off from the arena and ran across the entire city back to his caretaker.... And miraculously, did not stomp a single person. The Rhinoceros was declared a winner but only because the elephant quit. People were a little disappointed at this, and ironically enough, it’s the elephant that’s reminded (he had a name but I forgot). Source: another ANísio Franco book, called something like Passeios por Lisboa, I forgot I’m sorry.

7. When the French invaded our country, they found John II's tomb... And beheaded him. No real reason, I guess. The body was put back together and properly buried again by some nuns who kind of felt bad about it.

8. This one is not funny at all. But I'll say this: don't ever look into the Braganza's involvement in slavery if you want to preserve your sanity. It's some of the most horrid shit you'll come across.

EDIT: a while ago I mentioned this in another context, and someone asked for a source. I remember now I said I needed to look it up but, as ever, I forgot. With all my due apologies, here it is: https://expresso.pt/sociedade/2015-12-08-O-segredo-dos-escravos-reprodutores

9. The Marquis of Pombal once stole the waters of Sintra, leaving the people with ONE public fountain in butt fuck nowhere. I've talked about this one on here before but it shows how fucking insane the man was.

10. The expression "ficar a ver navios", which means "to stand by watching the ships pass", is used when someone is waiting for something that will not happen (like, if someone is stood up on a date, you say they stayed there watching the ships pass). It actually comes from the expulsion of the jews in 1497. Manuel I promised jewish people who wished to leave ships to board and go to North Africa. However, he also knew, because he was a fucking idiot but not entirely stupid, that if he expelled the jews, the country's economy would basically collapse, because jewish people held a GREAT number of businesses in not just Lisbon, but major metropolitan centres. So, this was a lie. The ships he promised never came. For months, jewish people went to the Santa Catarina hill every day to look out for ships that would let them board and leave the country. The ships never came, thus, they were "watching the ships pass", but none of them stopping.

Okay this is all I can think of A YEAR LATER LOL

[spectacular-skywalker]

Time for my DWTS thoughts!! S33 Ep2

Spoilers BTC and a lot of typos (sorry!)

okay oscars night yayyy i like the lineup so far and also i would bet money that illona does the dirty danving lift

YAY Jen first okay first of all this song makes me think of Riker Lynchs dance to the same song many seasons ago. And that dance WAS SO GOOD so unfortunately I am comparing them subconsciously. Okay first of all the pink! pop off HMMM that beginning was strange to me, also its wayyy too fast imo, idk if they can choose the speed also choreo not my fav but its not Jens fault (im looking at you sasha) the scores, i hate to say it but i think its deserved

AWWWWW britt is so sweet and this is actually making me emotional BRITTS DRESS IS GORGEOUS YES GO ERIC that was actually beautiful DEREK WHAT YOU HORRIBLE MAN OMG WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT the audible gasp that came out of my mouth dude

Dannys lucky because he has whitney as a partner whitney hot as usual better facials , props, he needs cleener lines man, but he kept up well so good aw he looks so happy (ps i hate top gun)

poor ezra, okay heres my take on anna no i dont think she should be on the show, however im not going to be an asshole because shes here. honestly i think shell go one of these first weeks because people wont vote, so im going to watch and just vibe i do agree, she did pretty okay but she needs more energy/emotions

REGINALDDDD geez derek what are you on tonight

chandler chandler i love you BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS AMAAING shes going to go all the way omg this is actuallt so beautiful my only thing is she mightve needed more hip action?? i feel like rumbas have alot of hip we'll see what the judges say SHE WAS made for dancing she did make it look easy shes so real

i love reginald hes so cute AHAHA hes so funny emmas dress is gorg go dude go, so far im really proud wtf feel from the ceiling in the beginning tho (ive never seen die hard) carrie ann is so right steven next hes so fun DEREK WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

i forget steven has so much muscle i am a person who thinks tha tsteven is more of a peter parker than superman BUT THAT WAS SO GOOD overall that was really good and hes so entertaining i do feel like he has trouble getting back into hold sometimes but thats hardly a concern okay yes Bruno i agree, just a bit more finesse that was the best fucking answer stephen could you get any better

w song for jenna, shes so beautiful lady gaga supremacy oh dude chill out its a dance and you have to act sorry hes just a normal guy i need to be more forgiving his ryhthm seems off, but could jsut be me

phaedra did good still needs a bit of tecnique refinement but overall that was super good

some of toris spins were super nice but not enough content

first of city of stars slaps second daniella is so smart that was super super good like that frame was better than some of these guys who have normal heights so real bruno that spin was gorgeous

imma be honest yall i dont like brooks, idk she irks me therfor i will not comment a lot "so connected" omg rme theyre definetley fucking wait that was actually good i like how i said im not gonna comment alot and here i am BRUNO AH OMG it was good in hold, her lines were nice gleb fucked upp cause he very distracted wink wink AHAH ezra and rylee in the back

YASSSSS ILONA i lover herrrr also the lfit fucked up the thing a littl but she got back on track overall good much better and shes seems so HAPPY ilona is iconic she was much lighter on her feet this week

hmmm im conflicted im thinking anna and eric ohhhh i was wrong aw jennas oh thats us LOL i hope tori goes sorry not sorry i liek reginal wayyy more YAS aw i like pasha poor ezra

okay earlier i was being sympathetic with anna but with that final response its an absolute know (im sorry im a hypocrite)

[gayspock]

also

this is the uglyyy bit but all the younger ppl in my gfamily are gonna be going to uni, soon. and i keep getting uni posts on my fyp every now and then. and ughh... ijsut feel so fucking miserable about how i thought i could have ever had a new start there and it was just like. repeatedly rediscoveringthat no matter what new place you put me in i jsut cannot ever make it fucking work no matter how hard i try man.

i reallyfeel so . miserable and embarrassed cuz i barely remember any of my time there and i jsut see everyone else who moved out into places with friends and got new hobbies and lifestyles and it changed everythingggg for them.. meanwhile i feel like i did nothing but scrape by and spiral and regress as a fuckingperson. i was afucking ghost again . nobody could remember my name by thirdyear and i remember standing at graduation with people who looked at me confused like who... are you... . and i dontknow whats wrong with me . i reallydont. like im havinggg that moment tonight the GODDD WHATS FUCKING WRONG WITH MEEE crisis like igenuinely dont know why becauseits everywhere i go whatever i do no matterhwat i dont know i cant make it work im getting worse every year everyy timeeee

i feel so disconnected from everyoneeven im so exhaustedim so tired theres no wayican ever make it work if i try i think it all just comes out wrongpeople just say to keep 1 going ! people will like you but theydont. they really fucking dont. and i cant be mad or blamethem its just the reasonable response its like . dude who cant get it together dude whos so fucking bad at anything interspoanl because he jsut never managed to fukcing. have a fucking meaningful relationship with anyone despite being well into his fucking 20s. OK. cant make conversaiton any more nothing to talk about so fuckingburnt out of nothing i have nothing in my life to bring up i cant find anythign any mroe im jsut a deadweight of a human ifeel like im jsut forcing everything up whenver i tralk to people and theyre gonna figure it out in the end and jsut think im . weird i feel like i still just managet o be nothing but annoying because im just such a desperate sad sack all the timebecause everything jsut feels too much bigger than it isbecause it isbeig when you have NOTHING. IN YOUR FUCKING STUPID EXISTENCE and itjust feeds into itself again and again jsut try hawrder dude just go out there try harder meetpeople find hobbies again and again and it neverweorks because theres something . its not smething wrongggg with me i jsut feel like i lack and i lack and i lack if eel like i cant do anyhting but just sort of orbit everythingaround me im not seriousss im not seriousss people and i wish i couldbe fine with it but i cant take it i cant ufcking take the way people just look right through me all the time and the loneliness and nothaving anything but jsut . the shittty fuckignthings about being aliveitjust feels like chroe after chore for nothing. FOR NOTHING CUZ THERE IS NOTHINGGGGG nowim done god i need to ficing GODDDDD fuckmt LIFEEEEE