#man i haven't talked about history so much in years.. i still have so much to say or recommend but i'll stop there for now

[publius-library]

Why do you think Hamilton supported the Alien and Seduction acts as an immigrant himself?

This is a common discussion I see, and it becomes quite easy to understand when you take into account the current events, what prompted the Alien and Sedition Acts (which is what I will assume you meant instead of Seduction, since I think it would be pretty self explanatory why Hamilton would support Seduction acts), who John Adams was, and Hamilton's beliefs.

Firstly, the most prominent international event occurring at the time was the French Revolution. When the Revolutionary government replaced that of the Ancien Regime, it dissolved it's alliances with foreign nations, especially after they cut their king's head off. This resulted in a war and a dude you might have heard of named Napoleon, but we don't need to get into that to understand that Britain and France had major beef, even more so than before. As a result, a lot of the French people who did not approve of their government's actions, but still did not want to live under a monarchy, immigrated to the United States. Much like today's current debate over immigration, some people believed that the United States were not obligated to give refuge to these immigrants, that they would take American jobs, and posed a risk to American citizens. Hence, the Alien portion of the Alien and Sedition Acts.

As for the Sedition part, this was a personal gift from John Adams to himself. He was a very egotistical, sensitive man who could not take criticism of his policies from the newspapers. As stated by the National Archives, "The Sedition Act made it a crime for American citizens to "print, utter, or publish...any false, scandalous, and malicious writing" about the government."

John Adams, a Federalist, believed that in putting restrictions on citizenship and free speech, he was preventing American people from sympathizing with the French in the potential war that was brewing between America and France, since France was currently raging and ruining everything and making everything difficult for everyone.

Now, where does Hamilton come in? Hamilton was a Federalist, and while he didn't agree with Adams on almost anything, he was fiercely against any kind of violent rebellion. This is exhibited in the many times he attempted to stop a mob, the earliest one being at King's College, when he stood before a mob and lectured them, buying time for the president of the college to escape being tarred and feathered. This is repeated during the Cadaver Riots in 1788. This belief of his can be traced back to his childhood in the Caribbean, in which there was a constant fear that the overwhelming enslaved population (80% of the island's inhabitants were enslaved Africans) would revolt.

Hamilton was also a fan of Thomas Hobbes, who believed in a cynical idea of human nature, in which every individual is self-serving to their own wants and needs. Hobbes wrote in The Leviathan, "And from hence it comes to pass that, where an invader hath no more to fear than another man's single power, if one plant, sow, build, or possess, a convenient seat others may probably be expected to come prepared with forces united to dispossess and deprive him not only of the fruit of his labor but also of his life or liberty." The key differences between the philosophies of Thomas Hobbes and John Locke also resemble the distinction between Federalists and Democratic Republicans.

All this to say, Hamilton's beliefs were shared with Adams- the French immigrants were possibly dangerous, being a threat to the stable revolution that was surviving in America. Additionally, he followed the principles of Hobbes in his belief that the government was responsible for keeping the people in check, and preventing them from entering into their natural state, which made life "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short." The goal of the Alien and Sedition Acts was to prevent individuals aiming to bring a French-style rebellion to the United States, and to discourage similar sentiments from circulating in the press.

Clearly, this didn't work. The United States never went to war with France, this violation of the right to the press was not tolerated, Adams never served another term as president, and Hamilton never convinced a mob to disperse. The Alien and Sedition Acts weren't entirely anti-immigrant, as they were mainly targeted by the French, and if you're asking me personally, I believe Hamilton was able to disregard this as the law for citizenship (changing the residency requirements from 5 to 14 years) wouldn't apply to him anymore, and he could further hide the fact that he was an immigrant. He was ashamed of his origins, as the Caribbean was used at the time as, essentially, a large prison, and he didn't have the best reputation while he was there. I do think it is ironic that Adams was responsible for the Alien and Sedition Acts, and he was the one who tormented Hamilton for this birthplace. But, you know, I wasn't in that crazy ass redhead's mind.

I know this is long, but I've thought about this before, and I love getting into the reasoning behind Hamilton's politics. He was one of those cases where you can really see how his personal life influenced his political beliefs, and I think that's really interesting. Anyway, I hope this helps, and thank you for the ask <3

[astralsweetness]

I had no idea about this group History, and that's awful the industry it's already bad and the company making it worse... I can't even imagine what they had to go through, but it's good to know they are doing better nowadays. In fact I'm still in disbelief at this inhumane treatment they received that's so revolting wtf

It must've been a hard time for you, it's good to know that you're doing good with it now and they were able to move on and live a happy life!!

But Luna since I really just got to know about history do you mind telling me more about 'em? and if you can I would love some music recommendation, also how did you got into them?

About Pentagon, I don't think I can consider myself an universe, but I'm def a casual listener and I like them a lot, such great artists!!! Pentagon is also very mistreated by cube they could be so much bigger!!! so many good producers in just one group, these companies stress me out, not to mention but, lately I've been completely obsessed with Navy blue by wooseok it's soooo good I keep putting on repeat lol, honestly cube is dumb how can they just waste those talents?!

I think I can understand what you mean when you say like this "i guess in a way they are both my ult" I imagine it must feel different... I guess when Svt disband I'll also feel like this, even though there's other groups I like, I don't think it'll be the same

And about Jihoon I get iiitt I totally get itt omg he's just so 😫😫😫 I've been seriously thinking if I have two ults nowadays cuz of him

Ahhh yes I will ofc talk about them! I don't really know what to say, since it's been so long since I got to ramble about them, but I'm sure I'll manage haha.

First off, I will say that if you're interested in BTS, History's maknae Yijeong is very close to BTS' Yoongi and was featured on his.. talkshow?? for the last episode. It's got some really great insight, such as Yijeong explaining that towards the end of working as a History member he had a neurological issue where he was terrified to sing and therefore he hates watching videos of himself from that time because it brings back a lot of bad memories. (Also, Yoongi said he wishes Yijeong would sing again, and.. same. He even said he'd pay for all the hospital fees LOL). Just had to mention it bcs it's one of the rare instances where we actually got to see a History member on screen again, and talking about History.

Anyway! I honestly, legitimately don't remember how I got into History. It wasn't their debut - maybe their first comeback? I wasn't a fan of their debut song Dreamer, though it's definitely grown on me over time. I think Tell Me Love was when I fell for them. I saw Yijeong in a skirt and them trying to make Kyungil look young and went. Yea. These stupid men. I like 'em LOL. (It also helped that I knew about Dokyun bcs of the brief stint where he was lead singer for the band Buzz, in place of Min Kyunghoon).

They don't have a huge discography so it's actually fairly easy to just recommend you all their title tracks.. and it also helps that their title tracks are fucking great.

What Am I To You has a great Latin vibe to the music that, in 2013, was not happening in other kpop songs, along with great choreo and great vocals.. what else do you need lol. Psycho had great choreography and brilliant story-telling in the MV. Might Just Die.. I am so fucking conflicted on. It's probably my least favorite title track of theirs, for various reasons (the injuries sustained while being taught to do the dangerous choreography, having to starve and dehydrate themselves, etc), but it's also their most well-known bcs… shirtless lol. LOST is STILL one of my favorite songs of theirs (I love grittier sounding stuff) and I think they really nailed the vibe of a "one-recording" MV without it looking cheap even tho it.. incredibly was (I recognize everything they're wearing as actual clothes they just own lol). And Queen.. man, what can I say about that song. It's got more views than their shirtless MV and I think was exactly what the industry was looking for at the time - unfortunately, it came too late for LOEN to see any need to continue funding them. I also included a clip of the horrible Show Champion stage for Queen that was covered in water, where Jaeho falls at the very end and breaks his wrist INTO the microphone. Feel free to skip but it's.. wild.

It's hard to recommend bsides of theirs bcs they just didn't have the chance to perform many of their earlier ones, or there's no good quality videos since they're all fan-taken haha.

I'm someone who really, really loves choreography, so I've got to mention their choreography video for What Am I To You, if only because seeing the way Jaeho's hat somehow manages to stay on while Kyungil loses his is kind of hilarious lol. Also obligatory mention of their choreography video for Might Just Die that they did fully blindfolded, until the jump. It's insane, especially since only one of them had a dance background or even LIKED to dance lol. I also really like Ghost's choreo, but I included it below lol.

Personal favorite bsides for me are Blind (it feels very old, but I love it), Blue Moon, Wake Up!, and Beautiful My Girl (the latter two of which are Japanese, so we have no official audios of them online anywhere and are stuck with only performances unless you have the cd.. rip. welcome to the bad video quality from 8+ years ago lol) as well as vocalist Yijeong's... rap song.. 1Century hehe which is a fuckin bop. People also really like Ghost (tho this isn't the full version, ft. Kyungil again losing his hat) and Wild Boy is an.. interesting song lol.

I think this is probably the most iconic version of Wild Boy, simply because Kyungil acknowledged he was severely hungover during it and they were all just vibing and having a good time lol. You'll notice they're very loose with their choreography - this was how they always were unless it was a title track, a choreography video, or a big, professional stage. It's definitely different from how idol groups feel nowadays, and most likely was a product of four out of the five members not being told ahead of time they'd need to dance to be in the group & none of them really cared about it, they just cared about having a good time lol. (Yijeong and Kyungil both jump off the stage in this performance and literally just go vibe in the crowd for a while lol, which was very in-line with how they approached performances). This is not the group to look at if you want clean lines in choreography all the time lol.. a big change from Seventeen, who I know you like.

A couple of them have gone on to have solo careers - Kyungil currently goes by 1il, but his stuff is so.. hit or miss sounding to people that I'm not sure it's worth recommending anything haha. I will say though that his MV for Love It is insane. I love it, pun intended. I have been waiting to see that man get choked by a woman for years and he finally gave it to me LOL. Jaeho is currently working under the name KIMNANO, and his stuff feels very vibey with R&B or ballad roots mixed in.

As for Pentagon, you're right about that - but Cube pretty much mistreats all their artists unless they're making them a substantial amount of money, which is why they're so focused on GIDLE and only GIDLE lol. If GIDLE hadn't blown up initially with their debut we absolutely would not be seeing as much funding for them.

And yeah, I think you pretty much hit the nail on the head - I can't quantify my love for History, or Pentagon, or Seventeen. They all mean different things to me and were there for me in different ways and at different times.

jihoon pls you'd make such a pretty girlfriend i love u

[cocklessboy]

The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.

[byooregard]

iwtv universe dashboard simulator

girlmand reblogged

😶‍🌫️gaysexinthecity Follow

not saying vampires are real but i think Daniel Molloy gets way too much shit . like if i was a pulitzer prize winning journalist in my seventies and some guy called me and was like im a vampire want an interview i wouldn't hesitate either. fuck man sure tell me about being a vampire. i'll believe you

🎆 magical-swiftie

reading Interview with the Vampire rn and Claudia and Madeline are sooo Long Face core

#now that i think of it a lot of tvl's songs fit this book really well #like #'she gave me life I gave her death'??? # that's so them!!!

🏞️ girlblogg1ng

btw if you're still listening to the vampire lestat, unfollow me now. and like, seriously consider why you're giving plays to a guy who appropriates ancient egyptian history for his vampire schtick, it's honestly sickening

#the vampire lestat #tvl #maintagging because people need to see this honestly #.txt

🌄sampire

keep seeing ppl try to cancel tvl for things hes said to his fans or how he talks about ancient egyptian mythology and not that song where he talks about fucking his mother. like im not crazy right he wrote a whole song about how he fucked his mother

💟 stingorarr

"we are your children/but what do you give us/is your silence/a better gift than the truth?" sounds like it should be some ancient Greek poetry but it's literally in a song by the vampire lestat!!!

it just hits so hard... like your parents gave you nothing but maybe the truth would be more unbearable than silence...

#tvl #the vampire lestat #twmbk #those who must be kept

sampire reblogged danielmxllxy

🌫️ beatlesrpf Follow

please tell me you guys arent serious about the vampire lestat. please tell me youre not stanning a man who wrote "im an actor in my makeup, i get fatter when we break up"

#guys please #this is worse than the tortured poets department

🤖 carrieblogging Follow

Based on your likes!

Hey, Tumblr, I need a little help here?

So, my best friend has been acting a little weird lately. Like, his sleep schedule has gotten really strange (stranger than normal 😅), and I haven't seen him without sunglasses on in a week?

His diet has changed, too, like he used to always be snacking whenever I'd call him, but now he doesn't eat anything that I can see.

He even cancelled our tickets to ComicCon!! I've been waiting to meet up with him for years, and now he's just bailed on me?!? I'm mad, but honestly more worried than anything....

#carrie speaks

🌌 marbellina124

guys I think I've found the vampire Armand at the MET 😏😂

#it doesn't match the dates from the book so like #yeah #but imagine.... #parisian mutuals you have a power that can be used

interview-with-the-glampire reblogged wormyworms

🪱 wormyworms Follow

mmm tbh the only reason i *don't* believe vampires are real is because if *i* was interviewing two vampires to write a book about their life? i would not be leaving that house without their fangs in my neck and eternal life. just saying

🌇 interview-with-the-glampire

understandable but have you considered. if I went to interview two vampires and got immortality and vampire sex out of that deal I wouldn't go around letting everyone know :/

danielmxllxy reblogged sampire

🌌 marbellina124

so were all in agreement he fucked that vampire right

#oh I think he fucked AT LEAST two of those vampires #iwtv #rb

[thrillered]

imagine reader and coworker/friend/crush Spencer and you guys are having lunch out of the office and run into your ex who is like a tall shayne basically and spencer gets a bit jealous/insecure and starts avoiding you a bit and you think you did something wrong

idk man I'm not a writer but you know what I mean?

The Ex | Spencer Agnew x Reader

I hope you like it!

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“I don’t know what to get.” You sighed, analyzing the menu. 

“Honestly I haven't had something I didn’t like.” Courtney, who was sitting across from you, said. 

“Well that's reassuring.” You replied, “What are you getting Spence?” You asked, turning your head to look at your friend beside you. 

Some of your friends and coworkers decided to go out for lunch today, taking advantage of the cool weather since it’s been so humid and hot the past week. The group had taken Courtneys suggestion and now you were sitting outside on a beautiful patio, surrounded by your friends. 

Spencer sat to your left, like always. Amanda and Angela were sitting on the other side of Spencer, Shayne and Courtney mirrored you and Spencer with Chanse next to them. 

“I’m not totally sure. Do we wanna both order something and split both?” Spencer asked. 

“That’s perfect.” You replied, “Everything sounds good. I don't think I’d be able to choose just one anyway.” 

Your waiter had brought out your drinks and a few appetizers that Courtney and Shayne insisted on everyone trying. You and Spencer were currently splitting the last piece of bread from the basket, arguing over which half was bigger. 

“Oh my god Y/N?” You heard a familiar voice ask. You turned, realizing you recognized the voice because stood a few yards away was your ex. You froze for a moment. You hadn’t seen him in at least three years. The last time being at a mutual friends going away party when they moved to Europe. 

“Shaun.. Hey..” You replied, still confused, standing to face him. 

“God it’s been a minute, huh?” Shaun asked, giving you a friendly hug that you reciprocated. 

“What, like two? Three? years?” You asked. 

“I think so! You look good, new hair? I like it.” He smiled.

“Well thank you. You look good too.” You responded, noticing how much muscle he had gained. He had always been kinda a gym rat but wasn’t into massive muscle growth when you were together. 

Your food came while you were talking, giving Shaun the notice to leave. “I don’t want to keep you from your lunch. Is that plate yours?” He asked, pointing to your order. You nodded. “Taste hasn’t changed then.” He remarked before giving you a half hug and walking away. 

You sat back down, joining your friends, only to be met with amused stares. “What?” You asked, placing your napkin back in your lap. 

“Who was that hunk?” Chanse asked. 

“That’s just Shaun.” You replied casually, beginning to half your meal for Spencer. 

“Well clearly there was something there.” Spencer huffed under his breath. 

“What was that?” 

“Nothing, it’s just clearly you had history with this Shaun.” He replied, not looking at you as he portioned part of his food to you. 

“We used to date.” You admitted, earning a chorus of teases from the table, minus Spencer. “It was like three years ago!” 

“Why’d you break up? He’s… whoo!” Amanda asked, wiggling her eyebrows at you. 

“We just didn’t work out, the feeling just stopped being there. We only dated for like 10 months.” 

Most of the lunch ended up with the group interrogating you about your relationship with Shaun. Your relationship was fine and ended amicably so there wasn’t much to say. 

You noticed that Spencer didn’t contribute much to any conversation. You tried to pass it off as him just being tired since he has been working extra hard lately. 

You and Spencer had carpooled to lunch, like you do most days. Usually your drives are filled with laughter, discussion, or singing but this time it was almost silent, save for the music playing softly.

Spencer was one of your favorite people. You and him had instantly clicked and had become good friends ever since. So his silence was unnerving. You tried to talk to him about it but he shut the conversation down and beelined it to his desk when you made it back to the office, promptly putting on his headphones. 

—

God what a fucking idiot. Spencer thought, feeling insecure about himself. He was literally jacked. Why would she be interested in me?

Spencer has liked you for a long time. He was immediately attracted to you upon meeting, he thought you were stunning and had great style. The more he got to know you the more he fell for you. He thought you had such a beautiful mind. You were so kind and generous. Not to mention you were hilarious and had a very similar humor to him. He genuinely thought you were the perfect woman. 

Your friendship had developed even further a few months ago when you spent the night at his place after a long night. While Spencer was aware of his feelings for you it was solidified that night as you were peacefully sleeping in his bed. 

He thought that your friendship was moving into more romantic territory recently but seeing your ex made him feel like he was wrong. Shaun was 6 foot 2 and had muscles larger than Shaynes. He could never compare to him. 

Deciding he would never have a chance with you he wasn’t sure how to be around you right now. Every time you laughed Spencer swore it was the most beautiful thing ever, how was he supposed to just casually be around you?

He didn’t want to ignore you but he needed to come to terms with only ever being your friend. 

—

The work day was wrapping up, almost everyone was packing their things and saying their goodbyes. Spencer still hadn’t said a word to you. He managed to evade you every time you tried to talk to him. You had filmed a video for the pit channel but you could tell your energy was low and off. Spencer had never acted like this with you and it hurt. You didn’t think you said or did anything to offend him. You were running through the day, retracing your steps to figure out what happened. 

You had breakfast with Spencer at work, had two meetings, filmed a games video– and everything was normal. Then everyone broke for lunch and you went out with the group, then you saw Shaun, then you– Then you saw Shaun. 

Shit. 

You knew Spencer was still in the office, he always stays an extra 30-45 minutes everyday. You waited a little longer, allowing most of the office to leave before you made your way to Spencer.

“Hey,” You began, easing into things. 

“Uh, hey.” He replied, quickening his packing to leave before any real conversation could begin.

“You’re so much better.” You added, not wanting him to be able to walk away. 

“I’m sorry?” He replied, confused. 

“You’re so much better than him, than Shaun.” You breathed, ready to bear your heart. 

“I- I don’t understand?” 

“You make me laugh so much and you’re so caring and- and you’re my best friend. I haven’t even thought about Shaun in years until I saw him today. You know who I do think about? You. You Spencer. I think about you everyday.” You finished, breathless. Spencer didn’t say anything, he just stared at you. “Please say something.” 

“I’m such an idiot aren’t I?” He asked finally. You didn’t say you wanted him explicitly but Spencer could hear it, he knew you so well. 

“The biggest I know.” You laughed, “But I love you for it.” 

He pulled you into a hug. This was what you loved, Spencer hugged you like you were the most valuable thing on Earth, he held you like you would disappear, he always did and said everything right. 

“Please don’t avoid me like that again.” You mumbled into his shoulder. 

“Never again.” He promised, squeezing you a little tighter before pulling away, leaving his hands resting on your hips. “Come over tonight?” 

“I would love that.” You smiled, placing a kiss on his cheek.

[allthelovenina]

Levi Ackerman x reader

Angst, sfw, slight spoilers for season 4

Something was on your mind. Levi could tell,, but he couldn't exactly put his finger on it. You were losing weight and those eyebags under your eyes weren't unnoticed by him.

It pissed him off. He wasn't pissed just because of your change of habits, but also, the fact that you haven't opened up to him. Why wouldn't you tell him what's bothering you? Wasn't he safe enough for you? Did you not trust him? Perhaps you thought you would bug him.

He had enough of waiting and giving you time. He was going to ask you himself. He found you in the common kitchen one night, you were drinking tea and staring out the window, at the view of the training field. 'Now or never' he thought to himself.

"Hey, brat. Why are you still awake?"

You turned to the voice, the short figure of his standing in the dark, in the middle of the kitchen.

"Hello captain. I could ask you the same."

He raised an eyebrow. "You know I don't need much sleep. What's bothering you? You look like you have a stick up in your ass lately."

You chuckled. His mannerisms when he spoke never failed to make you laugh.

"It's fine. Just...overworking. That's all."

That was a lie. The real reason you've been stressed out was because you finally realized how much you loved Levi and that scared the shit out of you considering how fragile and unstable the situation of Paradis was. Sure, the fact that Eren was gone all by himself in the land of the enemy, the hatred your island was receiving from the whole world and the unavoidable war played their parts. Perhaps if it was 2 years ago when things were much less complicated, you wouldn't be this messed up. But right now you already had so much on your plate and Levi was a new topping on that. You found yourself constantly worried about him, it was ridiculous. You, worrying about the strongest man in the world.

Your sadistic brain kept you up all night thinking about going to Marley, only to lose Levi to their government. Oh if only they knew the power he possessed and the whole "Ackerman clan" history, they would capture him, drug him, put him in a cage and make him mate with random women like an animal just to give them more kids like him and once they are done, they'll leave him with another tragic story. Same thing...no...worse implied to Mikasa. You were so worried about them yet, it was only rational to put those two in the front line because they were the strongest ones.

"You're a talented liar, you know? Except that I can easily tell when you're lying."

"I'm not. Why would I?"

He was annoyed, frowned and clicked his tongue. "Stress is nothing new to you, yet I've never seen you like this. No matter what, you've always been so..."

"Levi, it's fine." He stopped as you interrupted him and let out a breathy sight. "That tea is clearly too cold."

You raised an eyebrow, he could see the amusement in your tired eyes.

He didn't have to know. That's what he realized and why he changed the topic. He needed to stop and calm down. You'd tell him if you wanted to. He had to respect that like he always did. He noticed the sadness and stress in almost everyone and let them be unless they reached out to him for help, but why couldn't he do the same about you? Why did he have to know what was wrong with you? Why was he worried sick in his stomach?

"Let me make you another one, will you?"

"Hmm...I wouldn't mind. Thank you."

Fine, don't tell me.

The next few days were hell for him, at this point he was the one with a stick in the ass. Grumpier than usual, scarier than ever. Even Hange barely could find the guts to talk to him. They would ask you to deliver their messages unless it was something that needed to be discussed face to face, even in that case they asked you to be there during the meeting.

One day, he came to your office with a cupcake in his hand. He remembers the first time he ate one. That was when you offered him one and told him how much you loved cupcakes. He absolutely hated it. Too sweet for his liking that he could throw it up. He left the cupcake on your desk.

"You eating this crap is better than you not eating at all, I guess."

You smiled as you saw the cupcake and took a bite. The flavour brought back your memories of the good old days. Man, you'd never thought you'd be calling those days 'the good old days'. Nanaba, Erwin and Mike. Levi's old squad, your old squad... all gone and the remaining cadets seemed so different now. The rush of memories brought tears to your eyes as your mouth was still full. Your shaking lips and teary eyes didn't go unnoticed by Levi.

"What the hell are you crying about?" His tune sounded a little harsh but mostly concerned. You couldn't tell him, he didn't need a reminder of the ones who got away. Swallowed the cake as tears fell your eyes and smiled. "Thank you, Levi..."

It was as if that was all he needed to hear to figure out everything. He patted your head with sad eyes. "Eat that all, please."

[moviecritc]

dreamer ⋆ carlos sainz

pairing: carlos sainz x old friend!reader

summary: you leave the city searching a meaning to your life, founding an old friends instead

word count: 2K

warnings: carlos isn't a driver, just a really rich guy with hobbies

a/n: here's the first track of my bewitched department <33 i love reader and carlos so so much tbh

masterlist | wattpad | letterboxd

"I'm sick of all this, Natalie," Y/N declared, throwing her phone on the sofa. Her roommate diverted her gaze from the TV to her. "It's the fourth guy that ghosted me after I ask him out."

"Become a lesbian," said Natalie, turning her attention back to the movie.

Y/N let out a sigh. "I should. I'm tired of all men being assholes and manipulators."

She grimaced, thinking that maybe the problem wasn't men but her. She had studied Art History and had been the best in her class. Now, at 28, she was sharing an apartment and teaching preteens who called her 'ma'am.' Was she wasting her life?

"I need a change," she said to herself.

"The smell goes away with a shower, don't worry." Natalie looked at her, wrinkling her nose.

"No, damn it. A change in my routine," she explained. Nevertheless, she took a sniff at her armpit, regretting it. She'd shower later. "I need to get out of here."

She stood up, grabbed her phone, and headed to her room.

"Hey? And where are you going, if I may ask?" said Natalie, following her.

"Anywhere!" Y/N shrugged. She drank a glass of water and took out a couple of pieces of clothing. "I need to change the scenery as soon as possible, I'm stuck."

She pulled a small suitcase from her closet while her roommate rolled her eyes.

"Y/N, you can't just leave suddenly. Don't you have classes tomorrow?"

Y/N paused for a moment and then shrugged again. "I'll ask for the day off. The week, actually."

"The week!" exclaimed Natalie. Y/N was already looking at flights on her phone when Natalie covered her screen. "Y/N, you don't have the financial or mental stability for this!"

Y/N swatted Natalie's hand away to see her phone screen.

"Madrid is very cheap this time of year," she said, with a small smile.

"But you don't even speak Spanish!"

Y/N boarded a plane to Madrid with the idea of not talking to any men that week. This trip was for her, to reconnect with herself, the Y/N she had lost over the years.

She still didn't have a place to stay, but she would resolve that on the go. The journey from the airport to central Madrid was tedious; she didn't know how the metro worked and people ignored her like she was nothing. Frustrated, she sat in a café. She looked up things to do in Madrid on her phone, but soon the battery died, and she was sure she had forgotten her charger at the apartment.

She let out a long sigh and ran her hands over her face. As she opened her eyes, she heard a voice.

"Y/N?"

She looked up immediately, surprised that someone knew who she was in Madrid. When she met the gaze of the individual, she recognized him instantly.

"Carlos?"

She stood up immediately, greeting him. Was he a man? Yes but Carlos and she had gone to university together; they had been friends for several years. Probably best friends, though they never talked about it. He hadn't changed much; he looked older but in a positive way, with a more flattering haircut and surprisingly stronger.

"What are you doing here?" Carlos asked, leaning in for a short hug.

"On vacation," Y/N nodded. Running into him had instantly lifted her spirits.

"Damn, I haven't seen you in… six years?" Carlos tilted his head a bit.

"Since graduation, right?"

They both nodded; it had been quite a while. Long enough to realize they had lost contact too soon.

"I didn't expect to see you in Madrid," commented Carlos, with a smile.

"It was a last-minute decision," explained Y/N, wrinkling her nose a bit. She formed a smile. "I'm glad to see you, really. Do you want to sit for a bit?" she suggested, pointing to the empty chair.

"I'd love to," Carlos accepted the invitation immediately, sitting down.

A waiter approached, and Carlos ordered a coffee to accompany Y/N's.

"Well, tell me, what have you been up to all these years?" Carlos asked, crossing one leg.

Y/N told him a bit of everything, very sweetened. That she was teaching Geography and History at a public school, that her family was fine, and they reminisced about the time Carlos practically crashed her Christmas party because Carlos Sainz Senior was mad at him for his grades and that she was happy living in her city.

Carlos told her that he now worked at his father's company as an executive.

"Oh, I thought you’d be doing something related to what we studied," Y/N pressed her lips a bit, somewhat disappointed that Carlos hadn't continued doing what they both loved.

"I would have loved to… but there were very few job opportunities. And I didn't want to be a teacher, so I played it safe," admitted Carlos, shrugging a bit. For a moment, he thought Y/N would judge him for it, but her sweet and calm expression told him otherwise.

"Understandable not wanting to be a teacher," agreed Y/N, before sipping her coffee.

"Is it tough?" Carlos mimicked her, lifting his cup too.

Y/N shook her head a bit. "I'm sure there are worse things. But having a twelve-year-old try to cut your hair because his dad is bald is rather curious."

Carlos almost choked on his coffee from the sudden laughter. "Really?" He tried to stifle the laughter as best as he could, but Y/N was already glaring at him.

"No, no. It's not funny, it happens every damn day," she nodded vigorously. Carlos let out a laugh that ended up being contagious for Y/N too.

The conversation continued for the rest of the afternoon. It was like going back to university for a few hours, a time she missed a lot. When they decided to get up from the table, they had finished four coffees and at least one glass of wine. It was even starting to get cold outside.

"Shall I walk you to your hotel?" Carlos asked with a smirk.

Y/N grimaced, remembering she still hadn't sorted that out. She bit the inside of her cheek, embarrassed. "I haven't booked a hotel room yet."

"Oh," he pursed his lips and quickly said, "You can stay at my place, I have a spare room."

Y/N, hearing him speak, was already shaking her head. "No, no, no. I don't want to bother you."

Carlos clicked his tongue, looking away for a moment.

"How are you going to bother me? Come on, bring your suitcase. My car is parked nearby."

Y/N was intrigued by Carlos's initiative but kept shaking her head.

"Really, it's not necessary, Carlos," Y/N extended her arms a bit for Carlos to return her suitcase, but he even moved it away from her hands. "I'll manage."

She said that last part to ease him a bit, but it only sounded like she needed more help.

"Y/N, I'm not going to leave you out on the street," Carlos put his hands on his hips and she let out a sigh. "That's not very gentlemanly of me."

"You were never a gentleman, you idiot," noted Y/N. Carlos smiled, knowing that if Y/N started to insult you, she was about to agree with you. "Alright, but just for one night. Then I'll find a hotel."

"Whatever you say, cariño," Carlos smiled triumphantly, and Y/N tried to hide her smile while he put her suitcase in the trunk.

His apartment was huge, truly huge. A dream kitchen, a large living room, and definitely more than one spare room. As they entered, a beautiful brown and white dog greeted them, heading straight for Carlos's legs.

"And who is this?" said Y/N, petting his head a bit, enough for the animal to focus all its attention on her. He sniffed Y/N's shoes and licked the hems of her pants.

"His name is Piñón," said Carlos with a smile, surprised that Piñón hadn't started barking because of a stranger's presence. "I adopted him almost after we graduated."

Y/N crouched, petting Piñón's neck and behind his ears. "Hi, Piñón. You're so pretty."

"I'll show you the room," Carlos said.

Y/N got up, giving Piñon one last pet. "Thank you, really. I feel like an abandoned cat, but thank you."

They both chuckled softly.

"It's nothing," Carlos said as they went to the room.

Y/N left her suitcase in a corner and turned to Carlos. "Do you have a charger?"

She felt like she was taking advantage of him too much, even if it was just for a charger, she felt bad.

"Of course, here," Carlos handed her the charger, their hands touched for a millisecond. She tried so hard not to feel anything. He kept a flirty smile. "Are you hungry?"

"Well, yes," Y/N nodded. "But give me a few minutes and I'll help you cook."

Y/N took a couple of things out of her suitcase and went back to the kitchen to help Carlos. They quickly cooked some pasta with burrata. Y/N noticed how Carlos would get close to her or brush his hands against hers casually.

While cutting some tomatoes, the knife slipped from Carlos’s hand. "Shit!" Carlos looked at the cut and put his finger in his mouth, letting out several whimpers.

"Did you cut yourself?" Y/N went over to him, Carlos took his finger out of his mouth, showing her a small cut. Y/N pursed her lips, remembering how dramatic he could be. "It's nothing, Carlos. It's barely bleeding."

Y/N cradled his hand, gently caressing his fingers almost unconsciously. The room went silent, Carlos looked into her eyes, he adored that look. Y/N lifted her eyes, connecting them with Carlos’s. He leaned toward her, listening to her breathing and matching his to it.

"Can I kiss you?"

The question hung in the air. Y/N held her breath. This was the opposite of what she wanted. She blinked and slightly opened her mouth. To Carlos, it felt like an eternity.

"I'm sorry," Y/N said in a faint voice. She looked at him with pity and Carlos stepped back, feeling more embarrassed than ever. "It's just… it's not the right time. I'm in a bit of a strange phase and things aren't going well for me, I don't want to mess things up for you." Y/N fidgeted with her rings as she said it.

"I understand," Carlos said, nodding slowly. "I shouldn't have asked you that, it was out of place."

"No, I should have told you before," she contradicted, with a grimace.

"Don't worry," he said. "It's just that…," Carlos hesitated a bit. "In college I had a huge crush on you and seeing you again brought everything back."

Y/N blinked, absorbing those words. She had always wondered why Carlos barely dated any girls during their time in college, it never crossed her mind it could be because of her.

"You had a crush on me?"

"You didn't know?"

"No…"

"Damn, we spent so much time together,"

"Because we were friends! That's what friends do!"

They both laughed and Carlos leaned against the counter, crossing his arms.

"So, you're not having a good time?" he inquired, with a calm look.

Y/N lowered her gaze. "I'm trying to sort out my life."

"I understand," he bit the inside of his cheek. "Anyway, if once you sort out your life you feel like going on a date, I haven't changed my number."

That felt so good in Y/N's chest, as if her heart expanded a little. She laughed like a fool, taking a few steps back.

"I'm going to go to sleep,"

"You're not having dinner with me?" Carlos extended his arms, with a sad look.

"Maybe tomorrow," Y/N turned around and smiled over her shoulder before disappearing down the hallway.

taglist; @theseerbetweenus

[fell-contract]

I've been using this platform to vent too much recently but unfortunately y'all gotta listen to one more.

Found out I had to work the weekend of a friend's wedding next month and needed to pull out. I told her we wouldn't be able to make it and somehow it devolved into accusations of ending a friendship. A past roommate of ours who we longer speak with who is in the wedding randomly reached out to my partner to guilt him, claiming he was letting me 'end a 10 year friendship' and it was 'so disappointing'. We haven't talked to this person in three years. I defended him and it resulted in this mutual friend (who had already blocked me after I said we couldn't make it) texting my partner saying I cheat on him and they have receipts and a confession (?). For context, I spent my mid 20's in a haze of prescription meds, alcohol and aforementioned roommate's uppers. Quite frankly there are entire nights I have zero memory of, and I've told my partner anything I'm unsure of that could've happened. I know for a fact I didn't have sex with anyone else because frankly I would've felt it the next day and I had intense fear of penetrative sex for most of my 20's. These friends also know my history with sexual violence that led to this fear. Any 'evidence' would be at least five years old because I stopped prescription medication abuse with the pandemic (not really by choice but the one blessing I take from that nightmare). Basically, I've found myself back in that headspace of shame but also betrayal: these friends never tried to help me, they encouraged the substance abuse and now they're trying to blackmail me with things I apparently did but have no recollection of. I exhausted myself in the shadow of shame for years, and I'm so thankful for the grace my partner has shown me and taught me to finally show myself. We're in a place now where we're open to others in our relationship anyway, but it's the principal of thinking I'd step out on him intentionally without his knowledge that has stuck with me. I feel taken advantage of, both by people I thought were my friends and by the person I was: I had this tendency to put myself in harm's way because I thought I deserved punishment of some kind, so even if I don't remember everything I did I do know it's a small miracle there haven't been greater consequences for my recklessness at that time.

I'm about to celebrate 10 months of sobriety next week. I feel like I've made a lot of progress. It's just hard to know that I'm still that troubled man in their minds who would carry a secret or actively hurt my partner, and they likely spent these years with resentment of which I was unaware. I suppose the takeaway is that sometimes we have to leave people behind, I just hate the idea that I'm so low in someone's estimations that they would think I'm incapable of growing. I apologize for the wall of text but sometimes I just need a sounding board.

💝 Jonathan

[captainsophiestark]

History

Jack Thompson x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: Marvel

Summary: Jack's ex-fiance left New York and moved to LA to start fresh after she realized he would never see her as an equal. Now, however, their paths might be crossing again, and Jack Thompson's managed to have a lot of growth since the last time they saw each other.

Word Count: 5,152

Category: Angst, Fluff

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I hummed to myself as I steeped my tea, soft music floating through the kitchen. I'd finished eating my favorite dinner before now preparing to settle in for my favorite radio program. A calm, perfect evening after a long day. All torn to shreds by the ringing of a phone in my living room.

I closed my eyes and sighed, but left my tea on its own and moved to answer the phone. Hopefully, whatever this was could be dealt with quickly, and I wouldn't miss any of my radio program.

"Hello?" I asked, resting the phone in the crook between my shoulder and neck and reaching for a pad and pencil, just in case. I froze mid-reach when I heard the voice on the other end of the line.

"Hey, uh, this is Agent Daniel Sousa. With the SSR. I don't know if you remember me-"

"Of course I remember you, Daniel," I broke in. "What do you want?"

He hesitated, and I couldn't help feeling just a little bad. My tone had turned from friendly to harsh in a split second, and Daniel and I had always been friendly. But if he was calling, it must've had something to do with my ex, and I certainly didn't want anything to do with that.

I'd met Daniel through the course of dating Jack Thomspon, who I later learned was actually Agent Jack Thompson. I'd met him when I was young and in love with the idea of being swept off my feet by a tall, handsome man, and Jack had more than fit the bill. It wasn't until much later, after he'd proposed and come home from the war, that I'd realized I wanted so much more.

I wanted a partner. Someone to have my back and build me up, to support me through life the same way I supported them. Jack wanted a maid that he could also sleep with, a picture perfect housewife with no external life or ambitions of her own. So I'd left him.

Before that, though, we'd gotten far enough that I'd found out about the SSR, and met Daniel in the process. We were friendly, and had even been on our way to being friends before everything between Jack and I had fallen apart. Since then, however, we hadn't spoken.

"...I'm sorry to do this to you, but I need your help."

Daniel's voice brought me back to the present. I sighed, sparing a longing glance for the tea in my kitchen before plopping down in the seat next to the phone.

"I assume this is about Jack? Is he... alright?" I almost choked on the word, surprised to find I actually still cared about the answer. I gripped the phone a little tighter as Daniel responded.

"Yeah, he's fine. Look, it's a long story, but we don't have a lot of time. There are some very bad people putting the fate of the world at risk, and I'm working with another agent to try to stop them. We have a plan we're in the process of enacting, but... we need your help to make sure it goes off without a hitch."

"Who's the other agent, Daniel?"

"Agent Peggy Carter. She's one of the best we have."

I paused. I'd been fairly confident he was about to say Jack, and to have him say a female agent's name instead was a nice surprise.

"Okay... but aren't you in New York? I don't know if you remember, but I moved pretty far away after things ended between Jack and I."

"And landed in LA, right?"

"...Yes... How did you-?"

"It's not important right now, just... how quickly can you get downtown? To the parking lot behind the hotel hosting Calvin Chadwick's campaign event?"

"Daniel, I haven't even said yes yet! I haven't talked to you in years, and I honestly don't think I want to get involved in this."

"I wouldn't be calling you if it weren't important. Meaning end of the world important. Please."

I paused, letting out a long, heavy sigh. I could practically hear Daniel waiting impatiently on the other end of the line, but I ignored the pressure. Unfortunatley for me, I believed that he really wouldn't be calling me if it weren't an emergency. And I didn't want to leave the world out to dry just because I didn't want to see Jack.

Which, also unfortunately for me, I knew this would involve. Daniel had very carefully danced around the subject of my ex-fiance, and I knew that dodginess was intentional. One way or another, Jack would be involved. But damn it all, I wasn't willing to blow off Daniel's cry for help on behalf of the world just to avoid Jack.

"...Fine. Dammit, fine. I can be there in fifteen minutes. I'm on my way."

"Thank you, serio-"

I hung up on him, giving myself one moment to relax back in the chair with a heavy sigh before launching into motion. I'd just have to make myself a new cup of tea when I got home, and ask someone at work tomorrow what I missed on my radio program.

Just under fifteen minutes later, I pulled into the back parking lot of the hotel hosting the campaign event. Carefully, I stepped out of my car, on high alert for a certain blond SSR agent. I whirled around at the sound of a door flying open only to find Daniel Sousa climbing out of an undercover van. He looked basically the same as the last time I'd seen him, although he'd apparently traded in his sweater vests for a Hawaiian shirt and a blazer.

"Thanks for coming," he said, crossing the parking lot to meet me. I nodded, my gaze going to the woman behind him. Daniel noticed my attention shift, and nodded to her. "This is Agent Peggy Carter."

"Pleasure, I'm sure."

I nodded and took Peggy's offered hand for a shake, but didn't say anything else as I quickly brought my attention back to Daniel.

"Alright, Daniel, why am I here? Specifically, not just 'to help'. And where's Jack? Don't try to tell me he's not here, you wouldn't have been so dodgy and nervous on the phone if he weren't."

"Dodgy and nervous?" Daniel asked, sounding more than a little offended. I just raised an eyebrow at him, so he sighed. "Fine. Here's the thing... we actually need you to go in there and distract Jack."

I didn't respond right away. I just stared at Daniel, waiting for him to say 'suprise' or 'gotchya' or some variation of the same thing. He just stared back, grimacing slightly. I finally came to the conclusion that he was being serious.

"I'll... pop back into the van and make sure Dottie and Mr. Jarvis are alright," Peggy said much too casually as she backed away from us. I never took my eyes off Daniel, my stare cooling considerably from when I'd first arrived.

"Daniel. Do you want to explain to me what's happening here, please? And why you need to distract a fellow agent, and especially why you think this is something you ought to be involving me in?"

Daniel sighed and ran a hand through his hair, then shifted slightly closer to me. He lowered his voice, then spoke again.

"Look, here's the thing. You should know Jack's had some growth since you left. He's changed enough that I can actually stand to work with him, and I might still say I want to kill him, but I probably wouldn't follow through if I got the chance anymore. But recently, he's got his head up his ass again."

I snorted. "I really hope this is not going to involve you asking me to talk to him or get him to come around or whatever."

"Not quite. Recently, he's decided to take the side of some pretty bad people, although I don't think he realizes just how bad. A few of those people are in that event tonight, and we have operatives inside who need to get something from one of them. But Jack's in there, too. And he'll recognize our operatives if he's aware enough to see them, and since he doesn't seem to know better, he'll stop them. We can't let that happen. Which is where you come in."

I stared at Daniel again, then after a moment, started shaking my head. I was frankly a little speechless, which gave Daniel an opportunity to keep talking before I could get a cohearant thought together.

"Look, I know this won't be easy for you. I know it's unfair of me to ask, to call you out of nowhere. And I know the only reason you showed up at all is because we used to be friends. But please, please do this. I promise it's important, and if it weren't this important, I never would've asked. I... I've been out in LA for a while now, and I thought about touching base, but I figured you'd want your space, since I'm probably tied up with Jack in memories for you. But we need your help with this one."

I shook my head, holding up a hand to stop Daniel's pitch.

"Alright. I came all the way down here, and because it's you asking and I know that means this thing you're involved in is actually, seriously important... I'll still help. But then you are not going to speak to me for at least a month, after dragging me into this mess to manipulate my ex-fiance, and then we're going to go to lunch. And you're paying, because it's ridiculous that you've been out here this long and haven't talked to me, noble intentions or not."

Daniel huffed a laugh, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a smile. "It's a deal. Promise."

"Great. So... where exactly am I going to do your dirty work?"

"Just in there," said Daniel, gesturing for a set of doors at the back of the hotel. I nodded and turned to face the doors in question, intending to head in. But for some reason, I couldn't make myself start moving. "Uh... you alright?"

I cleared my throat and nodded, although I knew I wasn't convincing either of us.

"Yes, yeah, I'm... I'm fine. Just gonna... go in there. And see Jack. For the first time in a few years."

"Hey." Daniel shifted closer to me, resting one hand on my shoulder and lowering his voice. I huffed and closed my eyes, but didn't pull away. "Look, I'm sorry to put you in this position... if you really don't think you can do it-"

"No. We're not going down that path. I know you wouldn't have asked me if it weren't a legitimate emergency, so I can't afford to think about an out. Just... maybe you could give me a push?"

I didn't turn to face Daniel, but even out of the corner of my eye I perfectly caught the judgey, raised-eyebrow look he gave me.

"Are you serious?"

"Daniel, I am about to go in there and distract my ex-fiance. I am dead serious."

"...Alright. You ready then?"

"No, I'm not! That's the whole point of requiring a push!"

"Okay, okay! Geeze."

A moment later, I felt Daniel's hand on my shoulder, gently moving me in the direction of the ballroom. It had nowhere near the amount of force I'd been hoping for, but the thought at least was enough to get me moving.

I crossed the parking lot at a steady pace, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other. I pushed open the door to the ballroom without letting myself hesitate, striding through without looking back. I tried to ignore the sound of it slamming shut behind me as I strode confidently into the room, head held high despite the warring storm of emotions swirling in my gut. It took every ounce of strength I had to walk into that ballroom, but somehow I managed it.

And then I saw him.

I wasn't sure what I'd been expecting, but the moment I saw Jack, my heart stopped in my chest and my knees threatened to give out. So much history stood between us, and even though we'd ended on fairly bad terms and I knew I'd made the right decision, my heart still couldn't completely ignore everything we'd been through. Everything he'd meant to me.

I took a deep, shaky breath. Apparently, a lot of the world was counting on me keeping Jack from interfering in whatever Daniel had going on tonight. I'd agreed to come in here, and now I couldn't afford to fall apart.

I squared my shoulders, then strode across the ballroom, past dancing couples and schmoozing politicians. Everything faded away the closer I got to Jack, until I was standing next to him, just out of his peripheral vision, and we were the only two people in the world.

I reached out a hand to tap Jack on the shoulder, and time nearly stood still. He turned towards me in slow motion, and I watched his face go from one slightly raised eyebrow to wide-eyed, gut-punched shock. The moment our eyes met seemed to stretch for years, until Jack finally broke it, saying my name in a breathy voice that shouldn't have been audible over the sounds in the rest of the ballroom. Surprisingly, I didn't have to fake the slight smile pulling at the corner of my mouth.

"Hey, Jack," I breathed. He blinked at me a few times, maybe expecting me to disappear like some hallucination. When I didn't, he managed to find his voice again.

"Wh... what are you doing here?"

"I feel like I could ask you the same question," I said, voice soft. Speaking anywhere near normal force or volume felt like it would shatter something about the peace of the moment, or bring our problems back to the forefront of our minds. "I thought you were still in New York."

"I was. Am. Still in New York, that is. I, uh... they made me Chief."

My eyebrows shot up. Daniel hadn't bothered to mention that.

"Wow. Well... congratulations. When did that happen?"

"A little over a year ago," he said, shrugging his shoulders and glancing away like it was nothing. I knew him much too well for it to fool, me, though. He was beyond proud, and he wanted me to be impressed.

"That's great, Jack," I said, not entirely sure whether I meant it. "So is that what brings you out here?"

"Something like that," he huffed. He shook his head, staring off at the wall of the bar, apparently snapping out of the moment we'd found ourselves in with something else hovering over his head. It didn't bother me to be a part of that something, although maybe it should have.

"I take it this is more of that highly-classified, highly 'over my head' stuff you always refused to talk to me about?"

Jack's eyes slid back to mine, looking genuinely sad in a way I hadn't expected. Honestly, I'd been expecting to spark some anger. Instead, he looked like I'd just punched him in the stomach.

"I... wasn't great at communicating with you back then, was I?"

I snorted. "That's an understatement."

Jack sighed and took a sip of his drink, nodding slowly.

"Yeah. Yeah, it probably is. Look, I don't know why you're here right now, but..." He cut himself off abruptly, glancing away from me again with a shake of his head. I raised an eyebrow, just waiting for him to work up the courage to say what he wanted to say. The longer he took, the easier it was for me to help Daniel with whatever this was, anyway. Jack took a deep breath, shot the rest of his drink, and set the glass down on the bar before looking at me again. "I was gonna look you up, while I was out here. I've been putting it off, because, well, I wasn't sure you'd want to see me. But... since you're here now...?"

I started shaking my head. I couldn't help it. Jack, apparently undeterred, stepped forward and took my hands in his. I wished I could say helping Daniel was the only reason I let him.

"You hate me. I get it, alright? But I'm not the same man I was the last time I saw you."

"Oh really, Jack? Then what kind of man are you now?" I asked, unable to stop myself. "What are you doing here, schmoozing at some party with a bunch of shady guys in suits? How different is that to the last time I saw you?"

"Very different! Listen, I get it now. I understand what you wanted from me, and I understand why you left. You wanted respect, and I... I wasn't willing to give that to you."

I frowned, scanning Jack's face for any hint of inscenserity or rehearsed speech. All I found was an honest, open expression staring back at me, my ex-fiance looking more open and interested in talking about the hard stuff than he'd been once in the time we were together.

"But sweetheart," he continued, after a brief pause to let his words sink in. I met his gorgeous blue eyes that I'd fallen in love with so long ago, and a hand clenched around my heart. "I get it now. And... I want a shot at giving you that respect, knowing what I know now. Being who I am now."

I huffed a disbelieving laugh, shaking my head as I broke Jack's intense stare.

"Jack... are you kidding me right now?"

"Not even a little bit." He squeezed my hands lightly, stepping even closer to me. The hand around my heart dug its claws in. "I... I love you. I never stopped loving you. If you give me a second chance... I promise, I won't screw this one up."

A choked sob forced its way out of my mouth as the room started spinning under me. I pulled my hands away from Jack, shaking my head fervently as I did.

"I... You can't... I can't think about this right now. After everything you can't just..." I huffed, shaking my head again and moving out of the way as Jack reached for my hands again.

"Baby-"

I turned on my heel and ran before he got another word out. Hopefully, that was good enough for Daniel and his friends. One way or another it would have to be. I couldn't stay there for another second, and it was starting to feel like it'd been a mistake to come in the first place.

I'd been expecting some slightly charged conversation, maybe even some arguing. Breaking off an engagement wasn't usually amiable, and our situation had been no exception. I hadn't been expecting to see real pain on his face, or real regret, or real love still lingering there. And I definitely hadn't expected to feel the faintest hint of the same emotions in my own chest.

Whatever the hell that meant, I couldn't face it right now. Not when I was standing in that ballroom in the first place to trick and lie to the man giving me the apology I'd wanted for years before finally excepting I'd never get it. The guilt started creeping in like a knife to the heart, another thing I hadn't been expecting.

I didn't check to see if Jack was following me as I headed straight for the parking lot, back out the door I'd come in. A thousand different emotions and thoughts screamed through my head, and the only thing that seemed clear was that I needed to get as far away as possible from here, now.

"Hey!"

I don't know why I hadn't been expecting to run into Daniel, but I'd barely gotten a breath of the cool night air in before he called out to me, moving quickly from the back of their undercover van to where I'd parked my car.

"Hey! Are you okay? We didn't mic you up, but one of our agents inside said they saw you running out-"

"This was a bad idea, Daniel," I said, shaking my head and pausing to talk only because Daniel was in the way of the driver's door of my car. "I shouldn't have agreed to this. I didn't... I don't know what I expected. The same asshole I broke up with, I guess. An argument. Not... not what I got."

I moved to push past him, but he put a hand on my shoulder to stop me in my tracks. His eyebrows knit together as he scanned me up and down, concern radiating from him in waves.

"What happened in there? Are you okay?"

I shook my head. "It was a mistake to get in the middle of this, with you and him. He said some stuff... I don't know. I don't know, okay? This was stupid, I should've just stayed home. I need to go home, Daniel. So please, get out of my way."

Daniel hesitated again, looking me over, this time with a more critical eye. I huffed.

"I promise I'm not hurt, and that I'm fine to drive, alright? I just... I need to get out of here."

After another second, Daniel finally nodded and stepped out of my way. I didn't bother sparing him another glance as I got into my car and pulled away, putting as much distance as possible between me and Jack and everything to do with that ballroom.

When I got home, I replayed the conversation I'd had with Jack over and over again in my head, on an endless loop. I didn't hear another word from Daniel, or from Jack, which I tried to convince myself was for the best. When the radio silence stretched on for days, however, my arguments to myself became less and less convincing, and every additional day of silence was another day to overthink myself into a frenzy. Had something gone wrong with whatever world-ending threat they were dealing with? Did something bad happen to one or both of the SSR boys? Or was there some other reason the SSR agents continued to give me space?

By the end of the week, I'd just about decided to go track down Jack or Daniel or maybe Peggy, although I'd only met her in passing, myself. Finding a secret agency probably wouldn't be easy, but I'd been reeling and replaying everything in my mind for days, and I couldn't go back to pretending none of them had ever been part of my life again. I'd just started flipping through a phone book over my morning coffee, looking for any businesses that looked like feasible fronts for the SSR, when someone rang my doorbell.

I sighed, marking my spot in the phone book before standing and moving to the door, my cup of coffee in-hand. I almost dropped my favorite mug when I opened the door to find Jack standing on my doorstep in a nice suit, holding a bouquet of roses.

"Before you say anything, Sousa's the one who gave me your address. So if you didn't want to see me... blame him."

I couldn't hold back a laugh, at least half the weight on my chest lifting off with the knowledge that Jack and Daniel were both okay. I bit my lip, trying to keep control of myself, as I looked Jack over.

"I... I'm really glad you're okay," I finally sighed. "When I didn't hear from you for a while, I got a little worried..."

"We had... some stuff to deal with. But it's dealt with now. I'd love to come in and tell you about it... if you'd be willing to have some company for breakfast."

My eyes shot up to Jack's. He tried to look calm and collected, but I could see the way his hands fidgeted around the stems of the flowers, and the way his eyes searched my face for any sign of an answer in either direction. I sighed.

"Listen, Jack... I don't know..."

"Alright, look. I'm technically supposed to be leaving for the airport to catch a plane back to New York in about half an hour. But I also got Sousa to agree to let me stay with him for a while, if... if I need to stay in LA for a bit longer, for whatever reason. But if you don't want me here, if it's too little too late for you..." He clenched his jaw, swallowing hard and steeling himself before continuing. "Then I'll head to the airport and get out of your hair. And I won't bother you again."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, looking down and shaking my head to try to clear it. I'd sworn to myself when I moved out here that I wouldn't let Jack Thompson back into my life. I'd been confident it was for the best. But he really did seem different than he had the last time I'd seen him. And I couldn't ignore the way my heart still skipped a beat when I looked at him, or how badly I wanted to believe what he'd told me in the ballroom.

Finally, I looked back up at Jack. I met his ice blue eyes, the same ones I'd been staring into since we were basically kids, before he'd served in Japan and a thousand other things in our lives had changed. And I knew I couldn't send him away without at least hearing him out. I knew it might mean I got hurt again, badly, but I also knew the regret of never knowing for sure would eat me alive for the rest of my life.

"Jack... there's something you should know first."

"And that is?"

"It wasn't fate that brought me to the ballroom, or whatever else you thought it was. I... was actually there because Daniel called me to ask for my help."

Jack sighed. "I know. He and Carter told me. They seemed to have a guilty conscience about it. But I'll tell you what I told them: I don't care. It brought you back into my life, so... I'll take it."

The corner of my mouth tugged up again, and I tried not to let the excitement take over too much as Jack leaned a little forward.

"So... does that mean I can come in?"

I bit my lip again in a failed half-attempt to stop the smile rapidly spreading across my face. Finally, I let it win, and gave Jack a nod.

"Oh, thank god," he sighed, sagging and flopping over the doorframe, the flowers falling to his side for a moment until he looked back up at me. "You really had me thinking I was gonna have to race to make my plane for a minute there, sweetheart."

I laughed and shook my head, taking the flowers from Jack as I motioned for him to come inside. I shut the door behind him, then turned to lead him from the entryway into the kitchen.

"So... do you want some coffee?" I asked, moving to the pot before Jack answered. I knew he did.

"That'd be great." He paused, and I heard him sit at the table himself me as I added sugar and milk the way I knew he liked (although he'd never ask anybody else to add it in). "This place looks great."

"Thanks. It's been a labor of love, for sure. I learned how to fix just about everything in here that could break, since it started out that way."

I shot Jack a little smile as I sat down at the table across from him, sliding his coffee over. The statement was a test, and whether or not he knew it, he smiled back.

"If only you'd known all that stuff when we were in our old place. Maybe you could've saved me from breaking the sink beyond repair."

"If I remember right, I did try to help with that. And you told me to let you handle it while I made something nice for dinner."

Jack grimaced, taking a sip of his coffee. "Yeah. I do remember that. And... I'm sorry. I was an idiot back then. I wish I'd known then what I do now."

I nodded thoughtfully. He seemed sincere, which truly might've been a miracle-level personal shift. I still tried to keep my hopes from running wild, but it was getting harder by the minute.

"Thanks for the coffee, by the way," he continued. "I haven't had anything this good since... well, in a long time."

I gave him a rueful smile as he bailed out of "since you left". I sighed, taking a sip of my own coffee before looking at Jack again.

"So... why don't you tell me about all this stuff that kept you from visiting earlier? When I talked to Daniel, he said it was end of the world-level."

Jack nodded, running his hand through his hair. "I mean, it sure wasn't good. Might've been one of the worse things we've had to deal with. You're gonna like this though, since we saved the day. One of my best agents who helped solve all this stuff is a woman. Peggy Carter, she said she met you?"

"Only briefly," I said, smiling into my coffee. "She seemed pretty cool."

"She's damn good at her job. And so were you, by the way. You covered for her and Sousa perfectly when you showed up at that fundraiser. It took one of the people you were covering for walking straight into my path for me to realize something was up, and even then I didn't suspect you. Masterclass."

I huffed a laugh, but my smile grew so big I couldn't hide it behind my coffee mug anymore. Jack smiled back.

"Alright, so, this is kind of a long story. Especially if I start from the beginning."

"I want to hear all of it," I decided. "If you're up for it... including the stuff that came before this mission. I want to know about what you've been up to since... since I left."

Jack nodded, a hopeful smile pulling its way onto his own face. I could see him wrestling with himself to keep his cool, and I was happy to see him losing.

"Deal. As long as you promise to tell me everything you've been up to once I'm done."

"Sounds like we have a wonderful plan for the morning," I replied. Jack absolutely beamed back at me.

"I've never been happier to miss a flight in my life."

I laughed, and for a moment, I got a glimmer of the parts of my life with Jack that had made me stay for so long. His humor, and all the good in him that he worked to hide, but now, without the layer of separation that came from him not seeing me as an equal.

It had barely been ten minutes total of time spent with this slightly older, slightly different Jack Thompson. By far too early to say anything difinitively. But that little seed of hope in my chest had bloomed into a full bouquet since I'd opened my door this morning, and I couldn't help feeling that this time, things actually were different. Jack was different. And this time, maybe things would work.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen

Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @infinetlyforgotten @sagesmells @gaychaosgremlin

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM BEYONCÉ'S COWBOY CARTER *  assorted lines from the album, some slightly adapted, adjust as necessary

nothing really ends.

for things to stay the same, they have to change again.

hello, my old friend.

you changed your name, but not the ways you play pretend.

do you hear me?

let me make myself clear.

can you hear me, or do you fear me?

can we stand for something?

now is the time to face the wind.

can you stand me?

this isn't the time to pretend.

they used to say i spoke "too country."

they don't know how hard i had to fight for this.

goodbye to what has been.

you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

i had to leave my home at an early age.

i'm not in my bed.

i gotta choose myself.

i might cook, clean, but still won't fold.

i'm still working on my life, you know.

only god knows.

i got art to make.

i got love to create.

they won't dim my light.

i had to sacrifice and leave my fears behind.

you'll remember me, 'cause we got something to prove.

i will lead you down that road if you lose your way.

i'm born to be a protector.

even though i know someday, you're gonna shine on your own.

i gave water to the soil, and now it feeds me.

there you are, shaded underneath it all.

i feel proud of who i am.

i first saw your face in your father's gaze.

how many times have you let yourself get down?

be fond of your flaws.

i just hope you love yourself like that.

i really hope the best for you.

you're my love, my sweetie pie.

don't let go.

lay your cards down.

i'll be damned if i can't slow dance with you.

don't be a bitch.

there's a heatwave coming at us.

i give you kisses in the backseat.

you make me cry, you make me happy.

just toss it.

they couldn't have me and they never will.

sometimes i hold you closer just to know you're real.

sometimes i take a day off just to turn you on.

i could be your bodyguard.

you should let me ride shotgun.

you know how people like to start shit.

someone better hold me back.

i'm warning you, don't come for my man.

don't take the chance just because you think you can.

the games you play are nothing new.

you don't want no heat with me.

i know my man better than he knows himself.

shoot your shot with someone else.

i'm warning you, woman, find your own man.

i have to have this talk with you.

i really tried to stay cool, but your arrogance disturbed my solitude.

look what you made me do.

if you cross me, i'm just like my father.

you say move a mountain and i'll throw on my boots.

how does it feel to be adored?

think about leaving? hell no.

time moves quickly, and so do i.

i don't need anything.

here's to hoping i'll fall fast asleep tonight.

i need to get through this.

i came here for a reason, but i don't know the purpose.

time heals everything.

i'll be your backseat baby.

been a while since i haven't tried to pull away.

come here, you sexy little thing.

baby, you play too much.

i'm looking super hot.

i'm a fucking animal.

every time you know just what to do.

no one ever got me going quite like you.

girl, i wanna take you home.

they won't be around.

i hope that you know that once i loved you.

history can't be erased.

got you up all night and now you don't wanna leave.

how can a true love go so wrong?

put on a show and make it nasty.

let me sink into your arms.

i died and someone brought me back to life.

i plan to steal your heart again.

who am i to judge?

i will carry on.

baby, i've been waiting my whole life for you.

wherever you wanna go, that's fine with me.

all i see is the best of you.

i'm gonna give you the best years of your life.

you owe me a debt.

i hated you once.

tap me on the shoulder when you reload the gun.

i know they're looking for me.

i fall to pieces each time i see you there.

it don't matter what nobody says.

we can take back roads.

just say what you need from the store.

i'm coming home.

take that shit on the chin.

have mercy on me.

this house was built with blood and bones.

i need to make you proud.

[psychologeek]

I just think it’s wack that you only care about Israeli civilians. Yes their lives mattered. But instead of focusing on the real reason why they died, ie, the tremendously irresponsible government of Israel and their bloodthirsty colonialist mission, you focus on “”””antisemitism””””” where there really is none. I’m sure there’s like two (2) antisemitic pro Palestinians. The vast majority of us are normal people who want peace and freedom, and for Israel to stop killing people. And for Israeli innocents to stop dying too. Some of us are even Jews who finally woke up. Sincerely, a Jew who’s tired of colonisation being done in our name

So, I wasn't going to reply to this bc. LOL. Don't feed the troll.

But I'm currently hearing explosions in the background so I was like. Oh well.

Let's unpack it.

I just think it’s wack that you only care about Israeli civilians.

I mean. Y'know. אם אין אני לי מי לי? (Clearly not you).

Wow. I'm shocked. How dare I, an Israeli civilian with friends and family who happens to also be, by coincidence, Israeli civilians, dare care about such vile creatures? (Looking outside of the window) (Remember that I can't, bc it's blocked to prevent shattering by airwaves and sharpanels). Must be a day that ends with a y!

Yes their lives mattered.

I feel like there's a "but" coming.

But instead of focusing on the real reason why they died,

Are we still talking Israeli citisens? BC the current causes of death are missiles, gunshots and stabbing.

ie, the tremendously irresponsible government of Israel and their bloodthirsty colonialist mission,

Funny, you keep using that word. I don't think you know what that means.

Also, having strong opinion about a remote teritory which you aren't a citizen of? Tell me more about colonialism.

you focus on “”””antisemitism””””” where there really is none.

laughing out so hard I actually cry. Like, seriously?

Maybe you, personally, haven't met antisemism (or more likely, were unable to detact it). THAT WAS NOT THE CASE FOR THE VICE MAJORITY OF JEWS.

From vandalism and verbal harassment to physical harassment, beatdowns, and at least on one case - death.

[Funny enough, this article says "Alnaji’s and Kessler’s lives forever changed on Nov. 5 at a pro-Palestinian rally at Westlake and Thousand Oaks boulevards in Thousand Oaks." Well yes. Kessler's life ENDED. His poor killer may face prison. Poor man.

This is antisemic.]

I’m sure there’s like two (2) antisemitic pro Palestinians. The vast majority of us are normal people who want peace and freedom, and for Israel to stop killing people. And for Israeli innocents to stop dying too. Some of us are even Jews who finally woke up. Sincerely, a Jew who’s tired of colonisation being done in our name

Sorry, but if your "peace and freedom" refers to the myth of "The Happy Dhimi", you have a problem.

Some examples, though:

This is the official logo of the Houthis, the terror group pro-pals love so much. the "Curse upon the jews" REALLY gives some vibes of love and caring.

As someone who lived through the latest Intifada, this REALLY makes me feel safe out there:

So, the terror Organistion currently firing at me isn't a terrorist? do tell me more

And of course, the "resistence". Wow I wonder what happened on October 7th?

more (explained) #1, more #2, more #3, honestly just go to #antisemitism here.

And, last but not least:

INDIGENOUS PEOPLE CANNOT BE COLONIALS IN THEIR ANCESTORS' LAND.

WE HAVE 3,000 YEARS OF HISTORY HERE.

But, well, I guess you're from america. Strange how you don't care about colonialism when it's actually. Y'know. BY-THE-BOOK.

~

Another case of kidnaps by terror organisation (Boko Haram). And another (ISIS) (Hamas connection).

[insipid-drivel]

Endometriosis, Fat Doctors, And Bellybuttons: What They Don't Teach You In Health Class

Woo another rambling TED talk, but I just got home from a meeting with a doctor specializing in wound care that I really feel a lot of you should hear:

Firstly, I've been having mysterious pains in my bellybutton area since... probably last Autumn? But I've had menorrhagia (extremely heavy, painful, and even dangerous periods that can cause spontaneous hemorrhaging) since I was 13 years old. Since my menorrhagia became active, I've been begging for a hysterectomy. I'm moving into my 20 year anniversary of Living With A Uterus That Hates Me As Much As I Hate It.

Being trans (agender) also really incentivizes the whole "yeet the uterus" thing, too, but that doesn't really have anything to do with why I wanna talk to y'all about endometriosis and bellybuttons.

Anyway, as of this year, I've had a lot of issues with my bellybutton region. Random infections, inflammation, pain, trips in and out of the ER; the works. My doctor has been so confused by my bizarre constellation of symptoms that he hasn't been sure of what's going on or what the best course of action is, aside from referring me for more tests and prescribing comfort measures in the meantime.

Until today. My desperate track for a diagnosis began over a week ago when my symptoms became alarmingly sepsis-like, but my test results came back with nothing but signs of an elevated white blood cell count. My doctor has been rushing me from specialist to specialist, and today was a wound care doctor that specializes in treating bariatric, hospice, and disabled patients that can't necessarily follow conventional wound-care advice meant for young, abled, and thin people.

I didn't expect much. Maybe some magnifiers, swabs, and a biopsy at worst, followed by antibiotics and whatever else, but definitely nothing that would help me solve this latest scary health mystery. While the worst of the pain I had that landed me in the ER went away on its own enough that I can get by with mobility aids, I still haven't had a diagnosis.

Until Awesome Fat Doctor.

Awesome Fat Doctor I celebrate. I live for this man. He literally gave me a reason to keep on trying and not give up. I was so scared of the appointment I'd gone nonverbal (not weird for me these days), but I got my voice back after I spent a while with him and his nurse (who was also fantastic). Even though I only met him for a few minutes and he forgot to introduce himself so I can't remember his name right now, Awesome Fat Doctor was a rock star. He was in his later middle age, scruffy, unshaven, and fat - enough that I could imagine the reason he specializes as a wound care doctor is because he may have gotten fed up of other doctors blaming his own health problems on his weight and life choices.

AFD gave no fucks. Along with being a big guy, he carried himself with the gruff no-nonsense of a man that's probably beaten up his ableist colleagues overdiagnosing fibromyalgia in the back of a Wendy's parking lot. He had been informed of my autism and my own needs for a wheelchair due to my own long-term chronic pain and other health issues, as well as my troubles speaking, and treated me like a little cousin that was having a rough go of things like he'd had.

He was compassionate and a straight-shooter with me. He was respectful of my boundaries, talked to me as casually as if I could respond like anybody else with working vocal cords (which I was eventually able to), and generally had all the bedside manner of someone that has worked with patients with special needs of all kinds. He looked at the trouble area and my records and history, told me that he was gonna do his best to get things straightened out, and then went quiet as he studied the timeline of my issues.

"Do you have endometriosis?" he asked, while studying a photo my mom had taken of a... skin infection over my lower abdomen, which had spread from my bellybutton.

I was confused.

"Not that I know of," I answered. I'd found my voice already when he and his nurse both helped put me at ease and showed me I was respected, safe, and seen. I've been tested a few times in my life for endometriosis and had my fair share of ultrasounds (the most common way to diagnose endo), and nobody had found anything unusual. But I have menorrhagia, am always in pain from my reproductive organs, and am desperate to get them removed. I'm on a 24/7 regimen of 2x normal birth control pills just to keep me from menstruating for my own safety. It sucks.

"My wife once had to get emergency surgery for what we thought was appendicitis. Do you know what it turned out she had?" he asked me, very suddenly, and like he had an idea.

"Ectopic pregnancy?" was my first guess, because women have died in the past to ectopic pregnancies that were mistaken for appendicitis.

AFD shook his head. "It was her menstrual cycle, and she had endometrial tissue bleeding into the space beside her appendix. I think you may have endometrial tissue in your bellybutton, and every time your hormones try to cycle in spite of your birth control pills, it bleeds and infects."

I was gobsmacked. Endometriosis and PCOS run in my family as reliably as eye and hair color, but I'd never really thought of how pernicious endometrial tissue could actually be. When I picture endometrial tissue, I picture overgrowths inside of reproductive tissue, or clinging to the outside; not growing randomly within the abdominal cavity or emerging out of my fucking skin like a turkey pop-up timer of doom.

AFD slowly nodded. "And the only way we'd be able to see the endometrial tissue is if you had it tested while you were menstruating and the tissue itself was inflamed and bleeding. Otherwise, it won't show up as anything different to the normal, healthy tissues surrounding it. A biopsy isn't reliable, either, because we have to know exactly where the tissue is before we test it. You have to have your hormones triggering the tissue to inflame and behave differently so it can be diagnosed if there are no big deposits of tissue to see."

After a long time of my ears ringing, I asked him, "Do you think it's possible that the ultrasounds were showing false negatives? Like, I have endometriosis and had it all along, but the tissue is too small to see or were being looked at at the wrong time?"

As it turns out, that's exactly what may be going on.

I see my doctor tomorrow, and meet with my surgeon at the beginning of next month.

Listen to your bodies, y'all. I am so thankful to that doctor, who wound up diverting into a very colorfully-worded rant about how much he hates the American medical system immediately after that. He gave me hope that I was just having new issues with old problems and was right all along about what my body really needed, and that my symptoms now are just showing what happens when doctors neglect their patients' needs.

I did wind up asking if he specialized with wound care because of how other doctors responded to his weight, and he said that it was a mix of reasons beginning with Yes: Both so he could have a safe space from fatphobia and ableism for himself and his patients, but also so his wife - who, while I hadn't seen her, he explained was about as big as he was - would have her own pain taken more seriously, being both fat and female. As he'd already explained, she hadn't been successfully diagnosed with endometriosis until she was symptomatic of full-blown appendicitis-levels of pain as an adult and her doctors were forced to stop blaming her pain on her weight.

Now, as I sit here reflecting... It's hard to believe that, thanks to this doctor's theory, I may finally be free from pain and dysphoria sooner than I imagined. It just took a doctor who could empathize with me to see me, and choose to take the scarier hill to fight on with me.

[daresplaining]

Daredevil vol. 6 Annual #1 by Chip Zdarsky, Manuel Garcia, Chris Mooneyham, Rachelle Rosenberg, Le Beau Underwood, and Clayton Cowles

There's a part of me that says I should conserve the few Mike Murdock scenes that I haven't analyzed yet, because who knows when (or if...) we will get more? But it's also nuts to me that four years have gone by and I haven't posted about this scene yet, so screw it, I'm gonna talk about it now.

I've written a bit before about the way this issue emphasizes the concept of Mike barging into pre-existing spaces, observing things that had not been observed before by any pre-existing characters, and ultimately presenting a new path for readers to follow through Matt Murdock's life history. The creative team positions Mike not alongside his twin, but almost in opposition to him, through stark differences in their childhood experiences. Matt loved his father unconditionally, Mike's relationship with Jack was a bit more complicated. Matt tried to stay out of trouble in school, Mike beat up bullies without apology. And then we get this absolute bomb drop of a scene, in which Mike is present where no one was supposed to be, and as a result, is struck with a life-upending revelation that will not hit Matt until years later. This scene stunned me when I first read the issue, because no matter how much Real Boy Mike's story might have diverged from his brother's, I never expected him to have a different experience of this.

Daredevil vol. 1 #230 by Frank Miller, David Mazzucchelli, Christie "Max" Scheele, and Joe Rosen

In Daredevil volume 1 #230, Matt finds himself in a church basement being cared for by nuns after collapsing, near death, in the street. As he lies there, feverish and delirious, he eventually takes notice of a particular nun. Her presence, her smell, and the feel of the cross necklace she wears (which, as seen in the panels above, she ends up giving to Matt) conjure up a long-forgotten memory from the time of his accident. He recognizes this nun as a mysterious woman who visited him in the hospital, as he lay suffering from his newly acquired hypersenses.

Man Without Fear vol. 1 #1 by Frank Miller, John Romita Jr., Christie Scheele, Al Williamson, and Joe Rosen

It is an intimate moment, written almost like a dream; a calming presence in the middle of one of the most nightmarish experiences of his life. Adult Matt pieces together this sensory puzzle, the mystery of this nun, and eventually uncovers the truth: that she is his mother, who he had been raised to believe was dead. This revelation is the start of a long and winding journey through which Matt and Maggie carefully, nervously inch back into each other's lives and begin to build a relationship.

But in the 2020 Annual, this private little moment between Matt and the stranger he will one day come to know as his mother is private no more. It now has a witness, and we the readers have a new, messier perspective on this classic scene. Enter: the brother who wasn't supposed to be there.

In this new version of Daredevil history, Mike spends the night at the hospital, watching over Matt after Jack is forced to leave for work. As Daredevil fans, we have spent plenty of origin retellings and flashbacks inside that hospital room, but Mike stays on a bench out in the hallway, involved but still not fully immersed in what is happening-- an intruder, a spare (I love the detail that he and Matt are dressed exactly the same in this scene). Not once do we see Mike enter that room at any point. The closest he comes to it on-panel is standing uncomfortably in the doorway. And that is how he remains when Maggie arrives and makes her fateful visit: outside, unconnected. When Mike wakes up, she is already in the room with Matt. Maybe she took a moment, as she passed by, to reach out to her other son and he just wasn't awake to notice. We might never know, and neither will he. What matters is that Mike is forced to listen in, and by listening in, he reaches the same conclusion about Maggie that Matt won't until years later. And for Mike, it isn't a gentle, gradual, fever-softened understanding. It is a sudden, nightmarish jolt at the end of a long day filled with sudden, nightmarish jolts.

Mike bears this revelation alone and silently. He could have marched into that room and confronted Maggie. He could have gone in after she left, just to be closer to his brother in this moment of shock and uncertainty. Instead, he chooses to walk away. Later in the issue he reveals to Jack that he has found out the truth, but if the volume 1 continuity has remained intact, we can assume that he never tells Matt. Instead, he carries the burden of this secret knowledge himself, and allows his brother the freedom and peace of mind to not be hurt by the shattering of such a foundational lie.

[callsign-dexter]

Hearts on Edge

Request: Helloooo ❤️ I hope I can request a Bradley Bradshaw imagine where his girlfriend gets in a car accident while they are on the dagger mission. So he gets informed as soon as they land on deck and his world breaks apart. Mav and the others join him at the hospital while they wait for information. You're hurt serious and are still out while they wait but when you wake up it's all cute and everyone cares for you making sure you'll be back on your feet in no time 🙊

Pairings: Bradley Bradshaw x Wolfe!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, inaccurate medical talk, car crash, pregnancy, birth

A/N: sorry it took so long to get out but here it is!

Masterlist

Deployments were never easy for you. Whoever said they were had to be lying. This deployment was especially hard for you because you weren't allowed to know any details about what your boyfriend, Bradley Bradshaw, and his fellow squad members were doing. Even though it was a short one, it still wasn't easy. You were no stranger to the military, especially the Navy, it ran in your family you just never wanted to join. It also wasn't easy for Bradley to leave you not when you were getting sick every morning, randomly during the day, to certain smells, or having weird cravings at all hours of the night. Penny Benjamin was gracious enough to have given you a job while they were away and possibly forever.

Now the history of you and Bradley goes way back. You two had met when you were 8 years old when your father was stationed in Virginia and you and your family moved in next to Carole and Bradley. Your father, Leonard "Wolfman" Wolfe, then went to Top Gun so Carole and your mother got along very quickly and you and Bradley became friends fast. When Carole got sick Bradley was with you most of the time. When she passed you two never lost contact and when Maverick pulled his papers he came to you upset and you comforted him. You both went to the same college and followed each other everywhere. You began dating your last year of college and have been together ever since. When Bradley started his Navy career you were with him and when he got called to Top Gun you went with him to San Diego, bought a house, and moved in. It just so happened that your father got a teaching position at Top Gun along with his pilot Rick "Hollywood" Neven after the mission and accepted it so he and your mom, Sage Wolfe who is a doctor and had accepted a position at the hospital, so they moved down to San Diego.

When you and Bradley arrived in San Diego you both went to The Hard Deck and you walked in hand and hand. You weren't much of a drinker and you had been feeling sick lately so you backed off the alcohol completely. "Bradshaw is that you?" Natasha, whom you had met on several occasions, yelled out and you told Bradley to go on while you got drinks.

"Well, I haven't seen you in a long time." A familiar voice said and you turned around and found Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell sitting there and you smiled.

"Maverick!" You said and hugged him. "How have you been?" You asked him.

"I've been good. What have you been up to?" He asked and you just smiled.

"I've been good. We've been good. Just moving wherever the Navy tells him to go." You said and then Penny came over.

"Y/N Y/M/N Wolfe, long time no see." She said and you smiled and you hugged her.

"Hey, Penny." You said.

"What can I get you?" She asked

"Michelob Ultra bottled and Ginger Ale." You said and she nodded. She handed them to you and you nodded to Maverick and set off towards Bradley.

He greeted you with a kiss on the lips and took the beer. "Thanks, Babe. No drinking for you?" He asked a little concerned. You shook your head.

"Haven't been feeling well." You said and nodded and kissed the side of your head.

"Rooster you gonna introduce us to your lady?" A man with a southern drawl asked you looked over and smirked and you rolled your eyes.

"His lady can introduce herself. I'm Y/N Wolfe." You said with a smirk and he dropped his smirk for one second.

"I'm Hangman but you can call me Jake." Jake said and you smiled and lifted your drink to him.

"I like her. I'm Fanboy but call me Mickey." Mickey said and then everyone else introduced themselves and you could tell you were going to be great friends.

The night went on and the bell rang twice and each time you looked over it was on Maverick. You just shook your head. When Bradley played the piano the one song you loved for him to play. The night ended and you went home.

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While Bradley had been training you had been spending most of your day on the couch. Then you spend your nights at The Hard Deck helping Penny by bartending. She even offered you a job and you gladly expected.

Your mother had come over one day while Bradley was training. She walked in on you throwing up in the guest bathroom. "Oh baby." She said sympathetically she said and you gagged.

"Momma." You moaned out as you had tears streaming down your face. You leaned back into her.

"Come on. Let's get you up." She said and helped you up. "How long has this been going on?" She asked going into doctor mode.

"2 months." You said as you settled onto the couch and she went and got some water for you.

"Have you been late?" She asked and you nodded.

"I thought it was just stress from him deploying and moving." You said as you took a drink of water.

"Have you told Bradley?" She asked and you shook your head.

"He knew I had been sick and he has just been so stressed out lately with training. I don't think I'm pregnant momma." You said

"It doesn't hurt to check." She said and you nodded.

"I'll make an appointment in a few days." You said and she nodded.

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When Bradley had come in one day saying to get ready for the beach you were confused. "Why?" You had asked him.

"Maverick is making us do a team bonding exercise and I want you there with me. I also want to show you off." He said coming up kissing your neck and you smiled.

"Of course Babe." You said and got ready for the beach. You didn't want to put on a swimsuit because nothing fit right and you were a little bloated, although you never brought this up to Bradley but he could probably see it, so you settled for a pair of jean shorts and a tank top. You both headed to the beach.

When you got there you went to join Penny on the back deck. You greeted her and she greeted you back and then stopped and looked at you. "You're glowing." She said and you looked at her confused. "You look exactly how I looked when I was pregnant with Amelia." She said and you shook your head.

"I'm not pregnant." You said and looked down. She just hmmed and continued to do what she was doing beforehand. You watched your boyfriend flex and have a great time and you smiled.

About an hour into being at the beach, he and Maverick came over to you and Penny and Bradley kissed you hard. Penny just smiled. "Bradley you're gross." You said as he tried to hug and you scrunched up your nose in playful disgust.

"Well, I guess you better come with me down to the ocean and help me clean off." He said playfully.

"No no. Don't you dare." You said as he gently picked you up and took off with you shrieking.

"She's glowing isn't she?" Maverick asked Penny and she nodded. "Carole looked that way when she was pregnant with Bradley." He said and then just stared at the two of you. You both reminded him of Carole and Goose.

"She swears she's not pregnant." Penny said while looking up at Maverick. He smirked and shook his head.

"Oh yea she's pregnant. Just won't admit it because she's too stubborn like her father." He said with a smirk and a chuckle.

"Ain't that the truth." She said and smirked back along with a chuckle.

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You had not been able to make an appointment because each time you tried something had come up. One thing is Ice's funeral. You were crushed. He was like an uncle to you.

Then they were getting ready to be shipped off to do this special mission. You had been with Bradley at the dock giving him a tearful goodbye. "I'm gonna miss you." You said into his neck.

"I'm gonna miss you too, Babe." He said hugging you back. "You have people that you can go to if you need any help." He said breaking the hug and kissing you and you kissed back.

"You be safe and get back to me." You said and he nodded.

"Yes ma'am." He replied with a chuckle and he was giving you another kiss. He then turned and gave your parents a hug and a handshake and then he was headed off. You watched as the aircraft carrier sailed out and you continued standing there until it was out of view. Your parents came up to you and your dad threw an arm around your shoulders and your mom held your hand. They took you away from the dock.

"He's going to be fine, Sweetheart." Your dad said and kissed the side of your head and you nodded. You already missed Bradley.

They had gotten you home and you immediately ran to the bathroom and threw up. Both Wolfman and Sage looked at each other and waited for you to come out and when you didn't your father went to you. "Sweetheart." He said and held your hair. "Let it all out it's ok." He said and by that point, you were dry heaving. You blindly flushed the toilet, stood up with his help, rinsed out your mouth, and walked out.

"Have you gotten an appointment yet?" Your mother asked and you shook your head.

"We've been so stressed out. Then Ice died and it's just been hectic." You said and they nodded understanding. "I'll call right now." You said and they nodded you got your phone out and were about to dial the phone number for the doctor's office but you then realized you didn't have anything set up. "Although I don't have any doctor's office set up or OB-GYN." You said almost panicking. Your parents could see a panic attack coming on.

"Hey hey hey. I'll call them you just calm down." Your mom said and took your phone while your dad helped you to the ground and held you.

"You're ok, Sweetheart." He said and you cried into his shoulder. "This baby is gonna be one spoiled little boy." He said and you looked up at him.

"Boy?" You asked sniffling.

"I have a feeling." He said and kissed the side of your forehead. Your mom walked back in and sat down on the floor with you.

"They can get you in Friday of next week at 3 PM." She said and you nodded and she hugged you.

"That's when Bradley is due home." You said and they nodded.

"It'll be a nice surprise." Your mom said. You guys stayed on the floor for most of the night until you confirmed that they could leave and you would be fine.

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Friday 3 PM rolled around quicker than you thought and the next thing you knew you were at your appointment. You went by yourself just because you didn't want to inconvenience anyone, even though they would say they wouldn't mind. You waited in the waiting room leg bouncing nervously. "Ms. Wolfe?" The nurse said and you stood up and she smiled at you "How are you doing today?" She asked and you took a minute to answer.

"Nervous." You said and she smiled

"Very understandable." She said as she took your vitals, height, and weight. She led you into a room "Dr. Baxter will be in with you momentarily." She said and you nodded and she walked out of the room.

20 minutes later Dr. Baxter walked in and she smiled at you "Good afternoon Ms. Wolfe." She said and you smiled.

"Please call me Y/N." You said she nodded

"So you think you may be pregnant?" She asked looking at her notes and you nodded.

"Yes. I've been have been throwing up every morning and sometimes throughout the day. I'm also getting sick to certain smells and having weird cravings." You said and she nodded writing down what she needed.

"How long has this been going on?" She asked

"2 months but I thought it was just from stress. My boyfriend is a Naval aviator and gets deployed frequently and currently on a deployment now." You said and she nodded.

"Totally understandable. I want to run some blood work and then an ultrasound." She said and you nodded.

"Whatever needs to be done I'm good with it." You said and she smiled.

"I'll have a nurse come in and draw your blood and send it down to the labs." Dr. Braxton said and left the room. Oh you wished Bradley, mom, or dad were here but they were all busy or so you thought and Bradley was gone. A nurse came in and introduced herself and could see you were nervous and while she was drawing it she talked you all the way through it, which helped.

You waited for another 10 minutes and Dr. Baxter came in smiling. "I want to congratulate you on your pregnancy. We'll do an ultrasound now." She said and you smiled. You couldn't believe it you were going to be a mother and Bradley was going to be a father. You did the ultrasound and got a picture. You then left the office smiling.

You got into your car and turned it on and started to drive off and immediately called her parents who were at home since her mom just got off of work.

"Hello Grandma and Grandpa." You said and waited for their reaction.

"What?!" Your parents said at the same time.

"Oh! Honey! This is great!" Your mother exclaimed

"We're so happy for you!" Your father said "Where are you now?" He asked.

"Close to The Hard Deck. I'm gonna tell Penny since she is my boss." You said

"You be safe, Sweetheart." Your dad said

"We love you!" Your mother added

"Love you guys too!" You said and then hung up.

You got to The Hard Deck, parked your car turned the car off, walked in, and greeted Penny as you put your purse behind the counter.

"I have some news." You said smirking and she looked at you.

"No. Are you pregnant?" She asked a smile breaking onto her face and you nodded.

"Yup. 2 months." You said and she squealed.

"I'm so happy for you and Bradley!" She said "If you need any time off, tell me. If you need to take a break and sit, tell me." She said and you nodded. The rest of the night went smoothly you were on could 9 so happy to start a family with a man you love. You weren't supposed to be working but saw Penny was busy and decided to help.

You bid Penny a goodnight at 6 PM. You were halfway home to get ready to pick up Bradley at 8 PM when you forgot your purse. You cursed and turned around and headed back to The Hard Deck.

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You were stopped at a stop light heading back to The Hard Deck to retrieve your purse. Then all of a sudden you felt your car lunge forward making your head hit the steering wheel, everything sounded like it was underwater. The person who had hit you was a teenager who was texting on their phone and wasn't paying attention or saw the stoplight and had rear-ended you. You tried to stop it but they just kept going and pushed you into the intersection as the other light had turned green. Another car had t-boned you and had pushed you to the other side of the intersection right into a telephone pole and over the guardrail turning the car on its side.

You hit your head on the steering wheel for the second time as you were flipped over the guardrail. Glass was everywhere you had blood running down your face. Your seatbelt had dug into your skin and then there was a piece of glass that found itself lodged into your ribs and punctured your lung. The windshield had shattered and a tree branch found its way into your lower stomach puncturing a kidney. Your hands immediately shot to your stomach and you were glad to find nothing had impaled you.

The car was totaled and you were hurt. You just wanted Bradley, your mom, and your dad. Then you started to panic, your parents. You tried to move but the pain spread throughout your body and it became so much that you blacked out. Your airbags deployed and it hit you in the chest and face.

The pain was becoming too much and you were starting to lose consciousness and fast. You didn't like that one bit. You couldn't move. People were shouting and asking if you were ok but you couldn't answer them. You couldn't see anyone until an older man came into view. You could hear sirens but you couldn't really pay attention to them.

"Ma'am, are you ok?" He asked but it sounded like you were underwater. Were you underwater? You began to wonder. You tried to answer but you had already let your tired eyes slip shut. You couldn't breathe why couldn't you breathe?

You heard shouting but you couldn't be bothered to listen or make out what they were saying. You heard metal cutting and felt heat but you didn't know what from. You're eyes betrayed you when you tried to open them.

"Ma'am?" That same voice asked again and you cracked your eyes open just enough. "Hey there." He said "We're going to get you out. Ok?" He said and you tried to nod your head but it was just pain and you whimpered out. "Hey don't try to move. Can you talk?" He asked.

"Yes." You said even though it was hoarse.

"What's your name?" He asked

"Y/N Wolfe." You said even tho it was slurred.

"Hi Y/N. I'm Max paramedic. We're working to get you out of there." He said as the door was lifted.

"Pregnant." You slurred closing your eyes.

"Hey don't close your eyes. How far along are you?" He asked as you cracked your eyes open.

"2 months. Just found out." You said having trouble breathing. He nodded as you blinked slowly.

"We're going to move you now ok?" Max asked and you didn't say anything. You had fallen unfocused until you felt yourself being moved.

You didn't make a sound and that worried them. You were moved onto a gurney and loaded up you heard some talking. "Y/N, I'm Jason. We're going to get you to the hospital and taken care of. I hear you're pregnant." He said and you knew they were just trying to keep you awake but it was failing and quickly.

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Sage and Wolfman were sitting on their couch reveling in the best news one's parents could get, they were going to be grandparents. They were talking about names that Bradley and you would make. They had taken bets on whether it was going to be a boy or a girl but they would have to wait just a little bit long to find out.

"I can't believe we're going to be grandparents." Your mother kept saying she was just so excited.

"I know! I can't wait to meet the little bundle of energy." Your father said just as his phone rang. He answered it with a smile.

"Hello?" He asked

"Is this Admiral Leonard Wolfe?" A woman asked

"This is he." He said

"A Y/N Wolfe was just brought in due to an accident. We tried to reach Lt. Bradley Bradshaw but were unable to get ahold of him." She said his smile dropped and his wife noticed.

"He's on a deployment right now but is due back tonight." He said "We'll be there in just a few." He said

"We'll give you more information when you get here." She said

"Thank you." He said and then hung up.

Leonard turned to his wife "Y/N/N has been in an accident." He said and his wife broke down.

"No. You're lying." She said tears threatening to fall.

"I wish I was." He said and hugged Sage.

"Did they release any details?" She asked and he shook his head.

"No." He said "Bradley is going to be expecting her to pick him up." He continued.

"We'll go to the hospital. Can you call Cyclone?" Sage said and he nodded and they did just that.

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You were floating, or you seemed like you were. You were on a beach, wait why were you there? You were in the back of an ambulance, right? You were confused. You were just about to forget about it when you saw Carole.

"Carole?" You called out and she turned around.

"Y/N!" She yelled out cheerily and then a man turned around and you recognized him as Goose.

"Goose?" You asked and he smiled they walked up to you.

"Hey, Pup." He said, he had given you that nickname when he found out Wolman had a kid, it just made sense. You met him when families were allowed to visit at Top Gun.

"Am I dead?" You asked and they shook their head.

"No, Pup. You just needed a little break for a bit." Goose said

"You're glowing." Carole said and then she gasped. "Are you pregnant?" She asked happily.

"Yes. 2 months along." You said happily and put your hands on your stomach and you were surprised when you felt the bump. That was the first time you actually felt it.

"Can I?" Carole asked and you knew she wanted to touch your belly, you nodded and you let her and she smiled. "This is so wonderful." Then pulled away when Goose started to speak.

"Finally! Bradley is going to be a father! We're going to be grandparents!" Goose said "About time he found the right one. I can't wait until he proposes." He said and then Carole hit him and he let out an 'ooof'. You wondered what they knew.

"GOOSE!" Caorle shouted and you smiled. Bradley definitely got his looks from his father.

"Your little boy is going to be one spoiled boy." Goose said and you raised an eyebrow and Carole hit Goose again this time in the stomach and he let out another 'ooof'.

"NICHOLAS BRADSHAW!" Carole said and you laughed. They must know something. She then turned to you. "How is Bradley?" She asked.

"He's good. He doesn't know yet. I just found out myself and you rubbed your hand over your belly and smiled looking out over the horizon. "I can't wait to marry him." You sighed out with a smile and they smiled with you.

"As much as we would love for you to stay here. You must go back and raise this baby and be happy with Bradley." Carole said and Goose nodded.

"You should totally name the kid Goose or Nick." Goose said and Carole just sighed and shook her head. "We really do love you kids. But you can't stay." He said being serious.

"We love you too." You said

"Tell Maverick to stop blaming himself." Goose said and you nodded you knew the story and what happened.

They began to fade out and you began hearing beeping "Remember to always love each other and don't go to bed angry." Carole said.

"Say hi to Bradley and Maverick for us. We love you both." Goose said and then they were gone.

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Cyclone had just gotten off the phone with Wolfman since he could do that. He looked at Warlock and he had a grim look on his face. "We need to go and get Lt. Bradshaw. Also, get a helicopter ready." Cyclone said and he nodded. They had just crash-landed and were celebrating and they were about to turn his world upside down.

So they walked down to the deck and walked through the crowd and got his attention which got everyone's attention. "Lt. Bradshaw." Cyclone said and he turned to look at the man who wore and grim look on his face even more grim than his normal one.

"Sir?" He asked

"It's about Y/N." Cyclone said and Bradley's face paled.

"What about her?" Maverick asked having heard the conversation and saw the look on Bradley's face.

"She's been in a car accident. We have a helicopter ready to go." Warlock said and he nodded and followed but stopped. Everyone had heard and they were just as devastated.

"Go. We'll meet you there. I'll grab your stuff." Hangman said and he nodded and headed off.

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When they got to the hospital they were greeted by Lenorad and Sage. They were just as upset as Bradley was. "Did they tell you what happened?" Bradley asked.

"No they just said that she was in a car accident and in surgery." Sage said and he nodded and sat down next to them.

They waited in silence for who knows how long. The others had arrived back on land as scheduled and rushed to the hospital to be with their squad companion. Maverick was the first one to speak.

"Wolfman, anything?" He asked and he just shook his head.

"No. All we know was she was in a car accident." He said and they nodded. Your parents decided not to say anything about the baby, they figured that it was your news to tell.

4 hrs later a doctor came out and over to them. Normally they would call out a name but not this time since they recognized Sage. They all looked up at the doctor.

"How is she?" Bradley asked being the concerned boyfriend.

"She was rear-ended and then t-boned. The t-bone car pushed her over to the other side of the intersection and over a guardrail. She hit her head twice and had a tree branch in her kidney, which we removed she also had a piece of glass puncturing her lung and we repaired it. We expect her to make a full recovery in 6-8 weeks. They're both doing ok." Dr. Xavier said

"Both?" Bradley asked shocked and so was everyone else.

"Yes, both. Ms. Wolfe is two months pregnant." He said and looked at Bradley "I take it you didn't know?" He asked and he shook his head.

"I had my suspension but we never confirmed it." He said and then looked at her parents.

"She found out today and called us. She was going to tell you but you weren't back yet." Wolfman said and Bradley broke down in tears and Maverick patted him on the back.

"Congratulations kid. Your parents would be proud." Maverick said and then brought him into a hug.

"She's in recovery now but I suspect her to make a full one. You're welcome to see her but don't overwhelm her. Room 237." Dr. Xavier said and they nodded and he left. They sat there until Jake, of all people, spoke up.

"Bradley, Wolfman, and Sage should go first and see her." He said and everyone agreed. She they all three got up and walked to your room. When they got there they saw you hooked up to wires and IVs running out of both arms and they had a device around your stomach, a baby heart monitor. They walked in and when Bradley heard his child's heartbeat he broke down crying again. They walked in and sat down waiting for you to wake up.

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30 minutes or what felt like forever to you. You woke up to multiple beepings and something warm in your hand. You slowly blinked your eyes open and turned your head and saw Bradley there. "Bradley?" You asked sleepy.

"Baby? You're awake." He said and that alerted your parents.

"Hey, Sweetheart." Your dad said with a smile "You're mother went down to the cafeteria but will be back soon." He said and you nodded.

"Baby?" You asked eyes fluttering closed and brought your hand to your stomach.

"Perfectly healthy." Bradley said smiling and you opened your eyes again.

"Was gonna tell you." You said and smiled as he smiled back.

"Oh Babe. It's ok. I'm just glad we know now." He said

"I'm gonna go and get a nurse and call your mom." Your dad said and you nodded now more awake.

"I saw your mom and dad." You said to Bradley and he looked shocked.

"Really?" He asked and you nodded.

"Your dad asked us to name our kid after him." You said with a chuckle. "He says it's a boy and Dad thinks so too." You finished.

Bradley chuckled "What do you think it is?" He asked you.

"Boy. You?" You asked

"Girl." He said and you looked at him. "So I can have two important girls in my life and she's going to look like you." He said and rubbed the back of your hand with his thumb that he was holding.

He leaned over and kissed your lips which you gladly returned. You broke apart when your doctor came in with your parents. He talked to you about your injuries and recovery and then he went on his way. Throughout the night there were nurses in and out checking on you and the baby.

Everyone came and saw and congratulated you. You missed them so much and they missed you. They couldn't wait for the little bundle of joy to be born. Penny came as well and she brought your purse with her where you told Bradley to look through it and found the ultrasound and again started crying.

"Oh Maverick?" You said and he nodded.

"Goose and Carole say hi and he says to stop blaming yourself." You said and he burst out in tears. Oh how he wished that Goose was there now.

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A week later you were released and you were glad about that. Bradley was nonstop fussing over you and you had no problem with that. The Daggers had officially become a squadron and your dad had started his teaching position.

When 3 months of your pregnancy came around you were able to find out the sex of the baby. You and Bradley were on the way to the appointment with him driving. He held your hand over the console the entire way. You were 2 weeks into your recovery and you had started working again but took it very easy, besides Penny would throw a fit if you did too much.

"I'm really hoping for a boy." You said and Bradley looked at you while stopped at a red light.

"Why is that?" He asked amused turning his attention back to the road.

"A mini-you running around." You said and smiled at him.

"Well, what about a mini-you?" He asked and you laughed.

"You don't want a mini-me running around. Either way, I'll love them anyways." You said and Bradley frowned which you didn't see. He didn't know why you always put yourself down and he hated it. It was silent the rest if the way.

When you got there. He parked the car and you both got out. Since your bump had popped he was more tentative to you as were the rest of The Daggers. If Bradley couldn't be with you then it was one of them. Surprisingly Jake was the one that stepped up the most.

You both walked into the building and got checked in and in turn, you two were sat in the waiting room. 10 minutes later you were called back. Bradley stood up and helped you up and you walked back to the examining room. "If they are a girl what name do you have picked out?" You asked Bradley and he thought about it.

"Lena Marie Bradshaw. You?" He asked turning his attention to you.

"Oh I like that name. Aliyah Samantha Bradshaw." You said and before you asked about the boy name Dr. Braxton came in.

"Good morning. I see that you're recovering from an accident." She said and you nodded.

"Yea that's right. Gave us all a scare." You said and she nodded and turned to Bradley.

"I'm Dr. Braxton and you must be Bradley the father." She said and he nodded his head "Shall we get started?" She asked and you nothing nodded. Bradley helped you lay down which you grimaced in pain. Dr. Braxton smiled sympathetically. You lifted your shirt and she spread the gel on your belly which you shivered at. "Sorry." She said and you waved her off "She right here in the little bundle." She said and pointed to the screen. "Do you want to hear the heartbeat?" She asked you both nodded and she played the sound and it was the most delightful sound to be heard. You both cried. "Would you like to find out the sex?" She asked you both nodded. She moved the wand and stopped "Well it looks like he is a very confident boy." She said and you both smiled. A little Bradley. You got the ultrasound pictures.

Your appointment wrapped up and you were on the way home. "Do you think we should have a cookout and announce it?" You asked him and he was all for it.

"Absolutely!" He said and it was set.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Everyone had agreed to come to the cookout and it went well very well. Hotdogs and burgers were served as well as snack foods. When it was closer to dessert time that is when you decided to make the announcement. Everyone was outside sitting around a bonfire.

"Everyone we would like the make an announcement." Bradley said and stood up and so did you with the help of him and Maverick.

"We're expecting a little boy." You said and everyone cheered, your dad cheered the loudest.

"I told you!" He said and you all laughed. You all enjoyed the rest of the night. When it was getting late you bid everyone a good night cleaned up and went to bed.

"You never did tell me the name you picked out for the boy." He said and you just smiled.

"You'll find out when he comes." You said and just grinned.

"Good thing I love you." He said and kissed you and you both went to sleep.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

During your time of recovery and your pregnancy, Bradley has been a godsend. Anything you needed he was there getting it for you.

"Baby?" You asked one night at 3 AM after first he didn't answer but after shaking him he woke up.

"Yea? Are you ok? Did you water break?" He rambled on.

"I'm ok and no my water didn't break. I need to pee and I can't get up because I'm 6 months pregnant. I also want beef jerky with pickles." You whined out trying to sit up and failing and now crying. Bradley was up and awake in a instant.

"Hey don't cry. I'll help you get up and use the bathroom and then we'll go to the kitchen alright?" He asked and nodded. So he helped you get up and into the conjoined bathroom and once you were done there, you both headed to the kitchen.

He got you what you wanted and grimaced while you ate it. Ever since you learned that you were having a boy your cravings had gone weird. Especially to what boys tend to eat and craved.

He led you both to the living room and sat down on the couch as you ate and watched some boring TV show. When a commercial came on that involved animals, you just started balling, and then after you cried and had your feel you fell asleep on Bradley and that's how your parents found you when they came to check on you in the morning.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

While you were off work every member of The Dagger Squad took turns watching you and sometimes teamed up. Each of them loved it and you.

Jake always got a kick out of it but quickly lost his smirk when you went into a hormonal rage on him and backed him into a wall but afterward, you cried, you told him how sorry you were and he just held you when you cried. He came with backup the next time it was his turn to help you usually both Javy and Mickey. He would never admit it but he actually became a little scared of you.

Your hormonal rage was absolutely terrifying once you were at the base meeting Bradley there and Cyclone had said something that rubbed you the wrong way. You chewed him out worse than any Admiral that he had and also backed him up into the wall. He was literally shaking and sputtering out apologies, it took Bradley and Jake to pull you off of him and he looked petrified. He also became scared of you that day afterwards when you gave birth. Everyone made fun with it saying "Don't make me get Y/N here." His eyes would go wide and would shake his head no.

Bob and Nat acted like they were your butler waiting on you hand and foot and you felt guilty. Each time you tried to do something they would make you sit and not make you lift a finger. You cried at how helpful they were and how grateful you were for them.

Maverick and Penny always came together and they worked well as a team. They also didn't crowd you and let you do things on your own. Penny was a huge help especially since she was pregnant. Maverick was just happy Goose was getting a grandson and wished he was here.

Your mother and father were over when nobody else could come. They loved you dearly and the baby. Your mother was a great help as well and you were grateful for that. They helped you move stuff and unpack some baby things that you told them that you wanted done.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

By the time you were due to give birth, you were fully healed. Your water broke during the night, which woke you up with a start. "Bradley." You said and he didn't wake up. "Bradley." You said louder. Again nothing and finally you just yelled his name "Bradley!" You yelled and he sat up.

"I'm up. I'm up." He said and looked over at you.

"My water broke." You said and that snapped him awake. He got out of bed in a rush and started to run around and then came to you.

"Ok. Let's go." He said and off you went. You called the hospital and they called Dr. Braxton and she was going to meet you there.

When you arrived at the hospital they rushed you to Labor and Delivery. They got you set up and Bradley made some calls. Your mom and dad were the first to arrive and then all of The Dagger Squad and they brought a lot of gifts.

10 hrs is how long it took for you to be 10 cm dilated but once you were it was game on. "Ok next contraction. I want you to push." When it came you did just that. After 5 minutes of doing that over and over again and cursing out Bradley your little boy came screaming into the world. Bradley cut the cord while crying.

"You did great Babe." You said and kissed your head you were exhausted and sweaty. They placed him on your chest.

"He looks like you Bradley." You said and he chuckled.

"He looks like you too." He said and you smiled.

"What's his name going to be?" The nurse asked you just smiled.

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Once cleaned up you welcomed guests. Your parents were the first ones to hold him and they were both crying. "What's his name?" Maverick asked and you smiled.

"Everyone meet, Thomas Nickolas Bradshaw." You said and Bradley stared at you in shock. He knew the first name but not his middle name. You had whispered it to the nurse.

"We also want to name Maverick and Penny as his godfather and godmother." Bradley said and Maverick teared up.

"We would be honored." He said and hugged the both of you and so did Penny.

Nothing could take this away from you not then and not now. You were glad you survived that crash. Bradley couldn't believe he had gotten so lucky but he was glad. You and Thomas were the best things that had happened to him and he was going to hold on as long as he could.

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Carole and Goose were smiling down at their son and his girlfriend and now their grandson. "I told you it was going to be a boy." Goose said and Carole rolled her eyes.

"I knew the entire time. You weren't supposed to say anything." She said

"He's perfect. Definitely a good mix of them." He said and she nodded.

"Definitely." She said, "I can't wait to watch him grow up." She said even though she already saw his future.

"Wait until Ice hears that they named Thomas after him. I'm just glad they named him after me too." He said and again she rolled her eyes.

"You and I both knew they were going to do that." She said and he laughed and nodded.

"That I did." He said "That I did." He repeated.

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

[rarepears]

Nie Huaisang, Lan Xichen, Jin Guangyao, and Nie Mingjue all reincarnate together into PIDW, and become disciples around the same time as Luo Binghe.

The drama of this is of course enhanced by the facts that NMJ & JGY died "early," but NHS & LXC lived to the end of their natural lives as cultivators, and so some of their perspectives and opinions on events have naturally changed with age. (tfw the passage of time renders you unfamiliar to your once-loved ones)

Eventually they talk about their feelings and reconcile and such, and this ends up derailing the plot of PIDW severely as the rest of the PIDW characters confusedly observe quite possibly the weirdest disciples Cang Qiong's ever seen

NMJ on Bai Zhan, with no clue what's going on because he died first and NHS & LXC haven't told him anything

NHS on An Ding, thoroughly enjoying what's pretty much a vacation to him at this point and possibly running an interpeak illicit goods market (definitely not to distract himself from any of the emotions having NMJ & JGY alive and nearby would be causing him, Everything Is Fine) I haven't decided if he'd get involved with the whole og!SQH and MBJ situation tho

LXC on Qiong Ding, because I feel like he'd see himself in Yue Qingyuan and lowkey hate him for it and I think that could be interesting

JGY on Qing Jing, because he's the objectively the funniest/most interesting character to throw into the mess that is SJ and LBH. The way I imagine it, he's doing the most direct derailing of the plot, because he mostly accidentally gets right in the middle of the thing that is going on between those two

I feel like as I wrote this it became more serious than I originally intended so just know that I'm mentally picturing this like a fic that's interspersed with outsider POV of the 4 of them being completely deranged about eachother

(Also I'd feel bad taking away LXC's brother so LWJ and WWX + friends are busy doing hot girl shit being rogue cultivators. I think WWX should be a half demon so he gets to keep the cultivation and steal some of LBH's protagonist energy. If this was a fic then the rest of the Untamed gang would be perfect to use for side characters during off-peak missions)

*grabs popcorn and sits down to hear more*

Nie Huaisang is having too much fun waiting the two idiots called his shizun and shizun's poorly kept secret of a boyfriend go flailing around on these terribly unromantic dates BUT THE TWO WERE TRYING SO HARD that it was cute. He wonders if he should do something to help the poor idiots out... Should he?

Maybe he should...

(Watch Shang Qinghua and Mobei Jun suddenly have a number of sex pollen accidents over the next few months....)

Lan Xichen would be an old man and a good voice of reason for Yue Qingyuan. Although he's head disciple and a very good one at that (if only because his Big Brother instincts can't be held back and he MUST interfere to help prevent history repeating once more), Lan Xichen has made it very clear that he would never accept becoming sect leader.

Also don't forget Liu Mingyan in the background writing about a 4 person sex orgy. At least, that's her personal theory for why there's so much UNRESOLVED TENSION between these four sus male disciples. And also, because it's fun.

It's even funner when you consider that Nie Mingjue is out of the loop of Cang Qiong stuff even on Bai Zhan because he tags along on so many of Liu Qingge's missions that he's probably spending like 8 months of the year outside of the sect.

(Nie Huaisang gets "assigned" to missions that happen to take place near Nie Mingjue's hunts.)

Meng Yao is Meng Yao and he still craves the approval of Male Authority Figures That Could be his dad. Also Meng Yao still likes to climb up the social hierarchy and power. AKA Luo Binghe growing mushrooms in the corner at seeing ANOTHER QING JING disciple THE SAME AGE AS HIM being given SO MUCH ATTENTION AND APPROVAL by shizun.

Luo Binghe develops a complex over Meng Yao of course.

(Shen Jiu approves of Meng Yao because he understands these characters very well and know how to manipulate (cough kill or injury them physically or mentally) them easily. Plus Meng Yao is actually competent.)

[More in #Nie Huaisang Lan Xichen Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue reincarnate into PIDW and are Cang Qiong disciples at the same time as Luo Binghe is AU

[idv-sunsxin3]

Hello! Im the anon who asked if r1999 are open, can you do a scenario or a headcanons of click (with a fem reader) who finally meet his lover again?

They been together back then since 1940's when Click was alive. reader knows click 's death. But then when vertin asked reader to join her journey, reader finally see their lover.

Click // Back in the 40s with you

Note// fem! Reader. She is 19yo like Click. angst to fluff long oneshot,,, thank you for requesting 🥺

---

It was unexpected- really.

It was not even the right time, too.

You and Click were lovers before the world conflict became very notable... You were both happy together until you had to acknowledge that it's you guys' turn to serve for the country as well...  help write the history and the legacy alongside the others. So you both started to barely see one another as you do your respective jobs.

You were one of the million women who worked as a factory worker in defence production during the 1940s, the years dominated by the war...

He was a photographer from the army who had to stay on the battlefield. You know very well how bad the war is as you have a friend who lost her husband by the war. So everyday you were always afraid, knowing how Click has to linger in places that obviously have slim chances of surviving...

Even sadder when this time, the photographer doesn't always live after, through these circumstances.

All you could do was pray and write letters to him as you contribute to the workforce...

The letters were sometimes not so long, it gets shorter as the days go by, and the war going through its climax and more problems happening on the way as well. Yet, knowing that each letter is safely delivered is enough for you to reassure you that Click is still alive.... Until one day.

By the time you came back to work- the manager suddenly motioned you to come talk with her, having a letter in her hand as they have... this look, the look of bad news.

You just... You just couldn't believe it.

As you both find themselves in the office from anyone's sight, you find yourself slowly shattering the seconds of reading the letter report given to you.

He died... Click died in action.

...You crumbled in your hands as your boss gave you small pats on your back.

.

.

.

.

'Back in the 40s...'

An old letter, the latest you wrote to Click, said,

'It was one of the happiest times of my life... Until I lost you to them."

That's what the letter started. There was more to say in that letter. Every single word carrying a huge meaning to Click.

Vertin handed it to him so he could read it. She happened to find it somewhere, noticing the letter addressed to his name abadoned in the middle of nowhere during the patrols.

"Y/N" was written as the sender's name.

'I'm not sure when I will see you again, but I'm just hoping that in our next life, we won't be as miserable as we were... And live together as much as we desire, my love.'

These words bring a familiar, tender feeling he haven't recalled for a while.

'I miss you, Click.... I always do.'

'I just hope you're out there and find this. Read this with your heart. Prove them that you're not dead.... Just as you promised me to come back home.'

He holds these words close to his soul... Even while he's not alive.

'I love you... and I'll find you if I can.

Still yours, Y/N.'

"My Rosie..."

That’s the first thing he muttered once he finished reading. His eyes dull but longing in spirit.

.

.

.

.

.

It's evening...

time to clean up.

You mentally note as you notice the items needed to be put away.

The war is over now, you were just about to pack your tools and head home by yourself.

Unfortunately, no one is going to welcome you at home. Because you already know he's gone... He did well. He was the most bravest man you have ever met and love.

Now you have to move on... How will you do that exactly?

That.. You'll have to ask that yourself later. First, you're going to need to walk back to the house safely before more accidents nay happen-

Strangely, the streets seem less crowded than usual... where are the people? Why aren't the cars moving? The sky seems to turn grey than normal - it looks like it's going to rain.

You heels quickly click on the cement floor as you hurry yourself, gripping on your purse and toolkit-

But suddenly, you notice someone from afar... A lady with light hair, wearing a suit.

I. Interesting...? It's rare to see a woman dressing this way these days.

You stopped in your steps once you start to clearly notice that she's now few steps away from, facing you, AND not seeming to intend to let you go around her.

However... she seems to not intend to harm anyone. She even has another girl beside her, ginger with sophistication, eccentric clothes that resemble an italian writer.

"Greetings," The lady says politely, fixing her calculative eyes on you, "Cloudy day, isn't it?"

By the sound of it, this lady seems to be from the UK... she must have been here for a visit.

"It is, indeed." You nod calmly, not sure what else to do other than thinking about just going home and mourning... Your eyes can notably tell they barely have any sleep, your hair tangled and unkempt from the long hours of work and questionable times to wake up and be called up for duty.

"I'm Vertin," She introduces as you both give each other a handshake, "this is Sonetto, my friend and assistant."

"Hello, Verti, Sonetto..." You lightly lift your eyebrow, wondering who are even these strangers exactly... they seem to need something from you. Noticing closer, they seem to have mature appearances of 16-yeard old girls. About 3 years younger than you.

"Good evening, miss..." Sonetto mindfully greets with a smile, "Excuse us for suddenly appearing... We need your help."

H. Help?

"Help? Oh, sweeties... What's the concern? Sadly, I really need some rest- work has been quite something." You half-heartedly apologize with a sorry smile. They seem to tell how your state doesn't seem to be in a good condition. You then remember you haven't told them your name. So you added along with a light smile at the ginger-haired girl.

"Please, call me Y/N."

That name.

That name seems to ring on Vertin once again.

Yes, this is the woman. The woman Vertin was looking.... The one Click was looking for.

The Timekeeper seem to have arrived at the right time.

"But miss Y/N- this is an emergency... I'm afraid something is going to happen--" Sonetto attempts to asks calmly, despite wearing this quite alarmed look that makes you feel almost worried... almost.

"Oh...? Right when the war have just ended...? What else are they going to do now..." You rub your chin gently as you look down at the pair in thought before your eyes morph into a horrified ones,

"...launch more missiles?"

"Ah- not exactly as we try to convey.." Sonetto shakes her head as seeming unsure of your statement, oh.

"An abnormal storm is going to arrive here anytime soon-" Vertin starts explaining, "Another war is going to happen between humans and arcanists- We need mechanics like you to help us with machinery."

"A... War? You got to be....- How do I know if you're telling the true?"

Sonetto suddenly then quietly gasps, grabbing on Vertin's hand and quickly pointing at what she's looking through your shoulder- You and Vertin followed her gaze only to see... creatures emerging one by one - Fluffly creatures???

Oh- and who are these people with strange helmets??? Are they even humans???

You seem hesitant about it, but noticing the strange anomalies in your surroundings.  You seem to tell that these kids aren't really joking as they still have seious looks on their expressions--

A part of yourself wished to live in a more peaceful place, where you would have to sacrifice much just for the people that seem to be suffering the most... why can't you just live comfortably with everyone?

But then, if you decline on joining them- what if that means you have to go back to follow under these women roles this society has been putting you and the others on? Getting married.. get married, being a housekeeper and mother- you don't want to do that, not after you have  lost your lover- and losing the reason to dream about a future with him...

You... you honestly don't want to leave your job as a riveter.

As if managing to read your mind, Vertin adds more, "...You'll get to live comfortably with us."

"...?"

"We have friends who have experienced losses as well, You'll get to do whatever you want and live peacefully as long as you get along with everyone."

'Whatever you want'...

...This is new.

It took you some minutes to think, before you eventually accepted Vertin's hand. Shaking it to seal the deal.

You'll get to have more freedom in what you do after that... while trying to move on from him.

.

.

.

Little did you know, it happened to be the contrary.

Just as you tried to start getting used to the suitcase's environment and the wide map of the Ark- there were also lots of people in it... some lingering around portraits, wearing familiar and unfamiliar clothes, people from different accents and places...

You have never thought this many people with such eccentricity would desire to seek shelter in here... but then, you admit, the domain is stylish and cozy for the warm/rainy days.

Vertin instructed you to just stay comfortable at your now new residence. So you comply, sitting on the couch after managing to find an appealing book from one of the shelves.

You were not sure why the young female pair seemed to start acting more suspicious by the time you three arrived - is there something they're hiding from you? What are their plans? Oh dear, there are so many questions you just want to ask today. Making it almost hard to read a book and concentrate on its context.

.

.

.

"Click, I need your time for a moment," Vertin calls out calmly to the ghost at the room he is in after knocking.

"...." He slowly turns back to Vertin in question before floating begrudgingly towards, wearing the same spooked look in his lifeless orbs.

"I have something to show you... someone who you would like to see." Vertin further explains as she starts to walk while the ghost follows her clueslessly.

"Someone...?" The photographer mutters a bit, puzzled by the sudden arrival of some new recruit- but then why is it him who has to be called to see them..? Would this person be willing to see him?

He doesn't think much before sighing, his camera in a slightly tight grip by the foreign feeling of being seen by someone new... He honestly hasn't moved on from his sweetheart... The person who is willing to see him.

He just doesn't want to, even if he's now a dead man, and you probably have already moved on - well, that's what he tends to believe.

Meanwhile, a kind girl dressed in a bunny outfit, "Bunny Bunny," appeared and served you a drink, which you hesitantly but kindly accepted it - meeting her was pleasantly unexpected... You were just trying out the cool drink - so far, it's pretty refreshing and flavorful.

Just as Bunny Bunny left with her tray, you kept sipping on your drink and take a look on the book... You slowly realize this book is a documentary with pictures...

Some of these pictures are familiar, like that one first picture of a tree with a cat...

You softly furrow your eyebrows before you search something from your pocket- a picture.

The picture Click took and sent you. It looks exactly like the one in the book.

You blink lightly before seeing more pictures as you flip on the pages, some familiar, and some seem to be newer ones.

The more pages of pictures you look, the more your thoughts are starting to connect-

You then immediately flip the book to the last page for any source.

'Pictures taken by Click'

Wait- this is not a typical book-! It's your boyfriend's portfolio report!

These... some of the recent pictures are dated but- the year is quite twitchy....

Your mind is going confused as you close the book carefully, looking at the cover, wondering if Click is missing.... or has been here.

...Is... he here?

Wow, the new design of the cover looks sharp nonetheless. You're so proud of him...

If only... If only he's still here with you.

...

Your silent thoughts were now no longer in your head once you thought that part. You smiled... but that smile seems to not reach your eyes, which seems to be on the verge of tearing up.

...

"Oh Click..." You trembly whispered with your late lover's name, slowly wiping your tears as you laugh quietly, "You really were serious about putting that picture of the tree cat;;;"

"...I was serious." A voice can be heard clearly. Quietly.

...Before the sound of a camera is heard from your right-

You suddenly jumped by the sudden noises before turning around to see who's beside you. The moment your eyes landed on the speaker, your eyes widened as tired, dull eyes staring back at you.

"...Y/N."

"...Click?" You replied back as your breath hitches.

Shocked, you slowly and unsteadily reached your hand out to his transparent face- which... notably seems to penetrate through his cheek, barely sensing something solid other than the chilliness of the room.

"Y/N..." Click seems to leaned down the moment your hand fails to make contact with him.

Nonetheless, he lightly hovered your hand with his as he closed his eyes, trying to imagine the familiar feeling of your soft hands as he sensed the warmth radiating out of you. "You're here."

"Click...,,," You teared up as you look up and down, your mind going crazy as you wonder why you can't even touch your lover-

"He's dead..." Vertin admits as she can be found appearing by the doorway, having a sorry look. "But he surprisingly remembers you ever since the time he came here."

You faced Vertin as she stated that your eyes showed multiple emotions before shifting them towards Click. Who is still busy nuzzling into your warmth. "How long have you been here?"

"A couple of months ago..." Click answered before finally looking up at you. His eyes are dead, but the same love they tend to hold when seeing you.

"Oh, baby.." You breath out, "What have they done to you."

"...A lot of things." Click simply answered as he fiddled with his cameras to look at the picture he took of you in your shocked expression from before, "I miss your pretty face..."

"Now now... - don't go all lovey dovey just yet,,,-" You sobbed softly but still lean your forehead on his lightly, staying closer to him. At least spiritually and visibly.

Your gaze on him softens more by the time you calm yourself, as your dear ghost lover wraps you in his arms loosely. You gently try to brush over Click's lower lip with a thumb despite being unable to feel it, looking at it silently before speaking your heart away.

"Keep loving me, I'll never stop loving you even if it means i can't kiss you now...-"

"...H...Honey..." Click quietly whispers to you, his face unfaltered, but his voice fails to not sound like he's on the verge of tearing up.

*sighs* "Lovebirds..." Vertin can be heard saying this with a hint of amusement.

"We gotta figure out how to make them kiss." Sonetto suggests.

"Good idea."

"G.Girls????"