#man city wife ... everybody has flaws <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[cryingforcrocodiles]

Btw I just realized that you watch succession and this is my official proposal for marriage.

YESSSSSSSS 💍💗👰🏿

i mean– yeah sure whatever works for you. yeah.

[goatsandgangsters]

Connect (Con Man AU; Chapter 3)

Characters: Meyer Lansky, Charlie Luciano, Benny Siegel, Frank Costello Pairing: Meyer/Charlie Word Count: ~5,000

(also on ao3)

“How’s it looking?” Meyer’s voice—though he seldom raised it—echoed louder than usual as he entered the empty room. The ceiling wasn’t high, but the exposed concrete and beams made everything sound louder than it was, his footsteps sharp and distinct.

Benny sat perched on the windowsill before a wide expanse of tinted glass, the large Citgo sign behind him. He looked up from the wad of cash he was counting, a plastic spoon dangling from the corner of his mouth. “Not great,” he said around the spoon.

Meyer stopped in front of him and bristled. “Not great?”

Benny offered a toothy grin, plucking the spoon from his mouth. “The clam chowder, I mean. Not all it’s cracked up to be, you know.”

Meyer let out a sigh that was equal parts relief and frustration, rounding instead on Frank for a straight answer. “What about you?”

“I didn’t have any. Seafood doesn’t agree with me. Besides, my wife’s got me doing this cleanse, so I’m only supposed to eat—”

“Will somebody—” Meyer said sharply, “please tell me about the damn Red Sox.”

“Oh, yeah, them. Probably gonna win,” Benny shrugged. “Unless they all get sick from this clam chowder. Chowdah,” he amended, adopting a mocking accent as he tossed his half-full cup halfway across the room into an open box.

Meyer smiled wryly, clasping his hands together as he looked out the window. It was early afternoon, the sun still high in the sky, but he knew that soon those stadium lights would be burning hot and bright around the green edges of Fenway Park. “Well, don’t go slipping them any. We need them to win the World Series.”

Frank scooped Benny’s chowder cup out of the box and set it on the ground. “And don’t go messing up the merchandise, alright?”

“And this location. It’s secured?” Meyer asked as he cocked his head and peered down into the boxes. Frank was good with logistics—he knew people, knew which palms to grease, plus he had out-of-town connections in several major cities outside of New York. But, for as reliable as he knew Frank to be, Meyer knew it was better never to rely on anyone else.

“Secure and discrete, with a backdoor in case of emergency,” Frank confirmed.

From the windowsill, Benny laughed. “Sounds like a Craigslist ad.”

Neither Frank nor Meyer paid the comment any attention, as Frank continued rattling off a list of checks and information.

“Good. I want everything set up before Game 1,” Meyer said as he and Frank finished talking over the finer points.

“Where’re you goin’?” Benny asked, jumping down from his perch. The sound of his turquoise sneakers slapping the concrete floor reverberated around the room.

Frank handled moving the merchandise, buying, reselling, underselling, overselling. He took care of the practicalities of the operation with the same care that Meyer took in the planning. Meyer handled the numbers, the details, all the information they needed. They didn’t need to worry about encryption when they had the most secure data storage in the world—Meyer’s memory. Betting, selling, scamming. Credit cards. Even hacking when things got slow. Gambling was the big money-maker for sports, but any large event brought all kinds of other opportunities with it. It was all about volume. Keeping as many fingers in as many pies, but never an entire hand—so to speak. Enough to get by, to keep moving, to afford the next round of jobs, but not enough to be noticed. Not enough to raise suspicion.

“I need to crunch some numbers in peace. No distractions.” He pointed a finger at Benny as he turned back towards the door.

Benny fixed him with one of those looks that used to mean his mother was about to get a call home from the principal’s office. “When have I ever been distracting?”

Fortunately, it was a short trip back to the hotel—only a few stops by train. He had been advised by everyone to avoid driving in Boston at all costs, which was a shame. Meyer had so little opportunity to get behind the wheel back home that it was one of his favorite parts of out-of-town jobs. Certainly better than the little bars of soap he still felt wasteful leaving behind in hotels.

The hotel itself was an ornate building downtown. It was fancier than suited Meyer’s personal tastes, but this wasn’t about his preferences. Besides, he noted as he crossed the street from the train and walked across the brick plaza, the hotel was right next to the library. Not that he would have much time for reading during the World Series, but it was nice to have close by all the same. Maybe he could bring his notebook across the street for some quiet.

The doorman held the door as he entered; Meyer nodded and thanked him. It would always make him a bristle a little, being treated like some kind of big shot when he was more than capable of opening his own doors, thank you. His ego didn’t need someone to do it for him—but this was a “big shot” kind of job. The World Series was a big deal. He had a part to play.

He fished his key card from his wallet as he entered the lobby, but the woman behind the front desk waved him down. “Sir? Excuse me, sir? Your husband wanted me to let you know that he’s waiting for you in the hotel restaurant.”

“My… husband?” Meyer hesitated, keeping his face neutral.

“Yes, he said that his phone died and you’d already checked in, so he’d wait for you for dinner.”

Meyer managed a tight smile. “Thank you,” as he reversed direction from the elevators and through the doors into the plush, maroon-carpeted hotel restaurant. It was early enough in the day that there were not many people inside. A couple at the bar, one or two tables filled. At the far side, by the window, a familiar face sat with his knees up against the table, typing away on his “dead” phone.

So much for no distractions.

He walked over, pulled out a chair, and sat down. “When exactly did we get married?”

“You’re so bad at rememberin’ our anniversary,” Charlie teased, looking up at him with a smirk. He dropped his feet back to the floor, grinning, but Meyer was all business.

“How’d you find me?” he asked, giving Charlie a steady stare. Running into each other by chance in Manhattan was one thing. Charlie finding his hotel in Boston—when he had no reason to even know Meyer would be in another state and city altogether—was another matter. He needed to figure out which security breach he had to close.

“I’m lucky,” Charlie answered with a cheeky grin. Meyer raised an eyebrow; he caved. “Alright, fine. After you disappeared on me without givin’ your number, I asked around,” Charlie explained, shooting Meyer a fond-but-grudging look that almost made it seem like they actually were a couple. Meyer had to commend his commitment to a rouse.

“I figure, Meyer ain’t exactly a common name, but nobody’s got any idea who I’m talkin’ about. For bein’ the best in the biz, you’re either way under the radar or you got everybody too scared to talk. But finally, I find a guy who tells me you work big sporting events. I’m thinkin’, 2013 World Series got your name all over it.” Charlie paused and took a sip from his glass of water. “Besides, I ain’t ever been to Boston before. Never been outta the five boroughs, actually.”

He looked at Meyer expectantly, who nodded as he digested the information. Charlie was right about one thing—he did operate under the radar. It was safer that way. He had other people who could be the front, who could strike the deals, shake the hands, meet the contacts. Meyer organized it all. “So you’ve just been wandering the streets of a major metropolitan area in the hopes of running into me by chance? You do know how many people are coming in for the game, right?”

“That’s the thing, though!” Charlie said, emphatic and excited, sitting forward in his seat. “That’s how it happened.”

Meyer raised an eyebrow, opening his mouth to offer a retort, when the waiter appeared to refill their water and take their orders for drinks. Charlie—practiced and confident—ordered a cocktail involving peaches and vodka that made Meyer’s teeth ache just thinking about it. Meyer opted for pernod, while Charlie tacked on an order for pretzel bites and beer cheese with an award-winning smile.

Meyer took a sip of water and looked out the window at the people passing by in Copley Square. “Really? Pretzel bites?”

“If you don’t want any, more for me,” Charlie teased.

“I’m just surprised that a place like this even has pretzel bites.”

Charlie flipped open the black leather menu book. “What, so I should order some ‘olive oil poached octopus’ when he comes back?”

Meyer grimaced. “Pretzels will be just fine. But don’t think you’re getting out of this easily. I believe I’m still owed an explanation.”

Charlie leaned against the high-backed leather chair; he seemed to be enjoying this, retelling his detective work. At least it wasn’t hard to get him talking. Useful flaw. “Alright, so I get here, figure next step’s gotta be Fenway, maybe start askin’ around, see if anybody who’s in the business here knows anything about you.”

“Seems doubtful, considering you didn’t have much luck with that on our home turf.”

“Hey, I gotta plenty of luck, thanks. ‘Cause there I am, gettin’ a slice of pizza, courtesy of some guy’s wallet—and it ain’t New York pizza, I’ll tell you that much—”

Meyer smirked. “I don’t hear great things about the clam chowder, either.”

“That’s just it! There I am, eatin’ my shit pizza, and there’s these two guys. When’s Meyer meetin’ us, and suddenly I’m all ears.”

“I’m not the only person in the entire world named Meyer, you know.”

Charlie ignored this point and kept talking. “So the one guy—beanpole, can’t stand still—he’s all, how come Meyer gets that swanky Copley hotel and we’re in a Best Western. And the other guy—looks like an Eddie Bauer catalog—he’s sayin’, well you know Meyer, all cautious, wants to stay separate. So now I’m here and I was right.”

Charlie grinned in satisfaction, evidently quite pleased with himself and his work, even though it was nothing but stupid dumb luck and stupid dumb Benny and Frank. Meyer clenched his teeth; he’d be having a word with them about being so cavalier with their details in public, where anyone could overhear.

“Well,” Meyer said, brushing a few lingering crumbs from earlier patrons off the table and into the palm of his hand, “I’ve never had a stalker before. Is that standard in your repertoire, or are you branching out?”

Charlie scoffed, indignant. “I’m not a stalker!”

“What do you call following me all the way to Boston?”

“Skill.”

Meyer snorted, which seemed to get under Charlie’s skin.

“Come on, admit it. You’re impressed!”

He wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction so easily. “Maybe I’m just creeped out.” It was unbelievable, after all, that he could come all the way to Boston and Charlie could still track him down in one afternoon all because of some goddamn clam chowder. And more than a little worrying. If Charlie could do it, who else?

“Listen,” Charlie said, sitting forward and drumming his fingers against the menu. He spoke quickly in a lowered voice, a look in his eyes as he met Meyer’s. “If I’m honest, I didn’t think it’d work, but then I found you and—and it’s like what you said. Things connect. Like us.”

Meyer sat back. “You’re twisting my words. That’s about strategy, you’re talking… fate.”

Charlie cocked his head. “You sayin’ you don’t believe in it?”

Meyer scoffed. “No, of course not. Do you? Fate is nothing more than what you make of it.”

“And I made it here.”

They fell into silence as the waiter set their drinks down on the table. The moment he was out of earshot, Charlie raised his glass with a winning smile. “So what do you say?”

“About fate?”

“About me. Whatever you got goin’ on, I want in.”

Meyer paused, tracing a finger along the outside of his glass. “I’m not sure it will work.” Rather than look at Charlie’s face—like someone had killed his puppy—Meyer riffled through his bag instead. “If you come onboard… Something tells me you’re a Yankees guy, but we need someone to be the idiot fan,” he said as he pulled out a Red Sox cap.

Charlie’s face split into a grin as he reached for the hat. “Anything for you, honey.”

Despite himself, Meyer laughed and clinked their glasses together.

*****

They didn’t order the Prime New York Strip, despite Charlie’s insistence that they have a full dinner instead of drinks and appetizers. Really, he just wanted to order the most expensive thing on the menu.

But, Meyer had said, there were better cuts.

Charlie couldn’t tell if he was being a snob or offering to buy him a nicer steak dinner later. Either way, he planned on sticking around to find out.

A short while—and several people’s wallets—later, Meyer was leading him into a building across from Fenway Park. The wallets weren’t part of the plan, per se, but Charlie wasn’t about to cram his ass onto an overcrowded, stopping-and-starting, screechy excuse for a subway without making it worth his while. Meyer noticed, of course, and said nothing; he only smirked. And maybe Charlie liked showing off a little, liked the way Meyer kept his lips in a stern little line, but his eyes crinkled in the corner as Charlie lifted a pair of designer sunglasses from a stuffy business type with a bit of bravado.

He liked the way Meyer moved through the crowds like no one could touch him, as though the sweaty ambling bodies around them were water he could part effortlessly with the angle of his shoulder. He didn’t walk into the building like he owned it—none of that swagger or arrogance. But no one was going to stop him. He looked like a Boy Scout who got a law degree in-between volunteering at the orphaned puppy shelter and helping little old ladies cross the street. But Charlie also saw that look in his eyes, the calculations, the assessment, the darting glances taking in all the details, underneath the unassuming veneer. The ultimate con man.

And here Charlie always thought he was a pro because if he smiled nice enough, no one noticed what his hands were doing. It worked, sure. But Meyer was next level.

If there was one thing Charlie learned in this business, it was to move when you saw an opening. And this was a chance he wasn’t about to let slip away.

“I still think you oughta put that table on the far wall—” Eddie Bauer Catalog was saying to ADHD Beanpole.

“Why, in case Batman repels in and steals our shit?”

“No, it just doesn’t feel right. Y’know, the feng shui.”

“Jesus, Frank, we’re only gonna be here until the end of the World Series—whoa, who’s the homeless guy?” Beanpole said as he noticed them approaching.

“I been on a bus all day!” Charlie snapped back. He wasn’t about to surreptitiously smell his armpit in front of people he didn’t know, but was he that much of a mess? Beanpole and Eddie Bauer were looking at him with uncertainty, wary in a way that had nothing to do with what he looked like.

“This is Charlie,” Meyer said, matter-of-fact. “He’ll be working with us.”

They exchanged another glance.

“Who the fuck is he?” Beanpole looked Charlie up and down; he didn’t seem impressed.

The other cut in for him. “What Benny means to say is, we didn’t think that bringing anyone else in—especially day of—was part of the plan.”

“It wasn’t,” Meyer said, a small smile on his face that didn’t reach his eyes as he clasped his hands behind his back. “But he stalked me to my hotel all the way from New York because a certain set of people—and I’m not naming names—decided to announce my whereabouts in a public place.”

“I didn’t stalk—we worked together before. Once,” Charlie explained in a hurried grumble. Okay, so maybe he did stalk Meyer. A little bit. But that’s how it was in their world.

The Beanpole—Benny—scoffed. Like Charlie wasn’t even there, he turned to Meyer and said, with disdain, “Since when do you work with anyone else?” The besides us didn’t need to be said.

This was a dumb idea. This was stupid. He shouldn’t have come all the way to Boston on a fucking hunch. He’d been beyond lucky even crossing paths with Meyer again, but he didn’t picture Meyer having a little gang like this. Which was stupid, he should have figured. After all, Meyer wasn’t gonna be a big player all on his own. But somehow, he figured he was like Charlie. Maybe a shitty subpar partner here and there, the Toninos of the world, but at the end of the day, all on his own.

“Fine,” he snapped. “Looks like you got it all covered.” He turned to go, but Meyer grabbed his arm.

“He’s good,” Meyer said with such finality that even Charlie believed he meant it. He fixed the other two with a firm stare. “Any other questions?”

He was a head taller than both of them, but it was clear that when Meyer said something, they listened. The one who couldn’t stand still didn’t look happy about it, but he also wasn’t going to argue. The other one was still looking at Charlie kind of funny, and Charlie prepared to square up, when he said—“Oh! You’re that Lucania kid!”

Charlie did a double take. “How the fuck d’you know that?”

He swore he’d never seen this guy in his life, but he just laughed warmly and shook his head. It reminded him of a grandparent with little kids, like he was about to start saying shit like yea high. “Yeah, knew you looked familiar. Got my start runnin’ errands for those old country types in the neighborhood, worked the corner store on East 11th. You were always givin’ your mother agida.”

All Charlie could do was stare at him and then laugh. “Just what everybody in this business wants, huh? Doin’ a job with somebody who knows your mother.”

The other guy waved a hand at him. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell her.” He paused. “For her sake, of course. Not yours. Don’t want to put her through the stress.” He extended his hand to Charlie, with a shake that seemed to belong more in the halls of Congress. “Frank Costello.”

“Oh yeah. Rings a bell.” He couldn’t have told you anything more about him, but it was a name Charlie remembered hearing around the neighborhood. Everybody liked Frank, he knew that. He solved problems. You just weren’t supposed to ask how.

In an undertone, he nudged Meyer in the side with his elbow. “Guess you was right about one thing, huh?” He flashed a grin and pointed his two index fingers together. “About it all connectin’.”

Meyer returned the look with a wry grin. “I think I was right about more than just that.”

Benny misinterpreted the gesture. “Oh eugh. Look, I’m happy you finally got laid, Meyer, but this guy?”

“What’s your problem?” Charlie snapped back with an entirely different finger gesture. Even in his annoyance, however, the word “finally” lodged itself into his brain. From what he remembered—and Charlie did remember—Meyer wasn’t such a bad kisser for a guy who apparently wasn’t getting laid.

“Don’t take it personally, Benny’s goal in life is to get under people’s skin,” Meyer explained in a tone of voice that suggested he was used to explaining away the other’s behavior. Then, with a sharp point at Benny, said emphatically, “And no, we are not—It’s just business.”

Benny snorted. “Always is, with you.”

That was all it took. Before Charlie knew, Meyer was running through their jobs with the precision of a wartime general. Frank moved the merchandise—and no, Charlie, it wasn’t petty theft; it was more what you might term a grey market. They handled sports betting of all types, card games, credit card skimming, and some more complicated jobs that Charlie didn’t fully follow as Meyer spoke with meticulous quickness.

“And if he doesn’t keep me busy enough,” Benny interrupted as Meyer wrapped up the basic overview, “I get bored and jack a car.”

Charlie hadn’t known him long, but he already knew that wasn’t a joke.

“For the record, I hate it when he does that,” Frank said with a sigh.

Benny smirked. “Yeah but Meyer loves a good chop shop more than anyone I know.”

That Charlie didn’t believe, but the small fond smile on Meyer’s face said otherwise. He didn’t argue, instead saying, “Just as long as you’re careful about it.”

“Is there anything you guys don’t do?”

Silence filled the office space. Finally, Frank said with a considering expression, “Not murder. Usually.”

Charlie squinted. He didn’t have a good read on Mr. Eddie-Bauer-for-Senate yet. “Is he kidding?” he asked Meyer.

Meyer didn’t answer, too busy staring out the tinted windows at the glowing lights and milling crowds in baseball caps below. “C’mon. Let’s get out of Frank’s hair before the local hires show up.”

*****

By the time they left the game after the sixth inning—Meyer had work to do before the game actually ended—the sun had long since set and a chill hung in the breeze outside of the bright stadium lights. Benny and Frank split off for their hotel in the neighborhood—Benny protesting all the while that Meyer got the nice hotel for this gig. But neither of the other two paid him much mind, so Charlie figured the kid was just like that. Besides, Meyer had to fit the important businessman role for this. And he did.

“You clean up pretty nice, by the way,” Charlie said, motioning to Meyer’s clothes—slacks and a button down.

“Thank you. You look like shit.” Meyer flipped through his phone while Charlie’s face fell into a scowl.

“Alright, look, I spent six and a half hours on a Megabus, alright? Cut me some slack. You wouldn’t believe the traffic.” He crossed his arms and leaned back against some restaurant, huffing. He could clean up nice, too. Maybe not nice-nice, like a real somebody, the way Meyer looked, but he had his own kind of nice. He wouldn’t be able to do the kinds of cons he did otherwise.

The smirk at the corner of Meyer’s lips was the only sign he noticed Charlie’s pouting. “Well, you should get some rest then. Where are you staying?”

Charlie hesitated. “See, that’s the thing…”

Now Meyer looked up from his phone. They looked at each other—Charlie pulling on that puppy-dog charm, while Meyer raised an eyebrow and sighed. “Come on,” he said. He didn’t sound enthusiastic about it, but at least it was an agreement.

Charlie didn’t steal anything on the short ride back to the hotel, but he did slip his hand through the crook of Meyer’s arm as they walked into the lobby. He flashed a winning smile to the woman at the front desk, who returned a polite wave and reiterated the company line to enjoy his stay. Meyer tapped his keycard inside the elevator as the doors slid closed and hit the button for 12.

“Only 12?” Charlie chided. “You didn’t spring for the penthouse for our anniversary?”

“I’m saving it for the Golden Anniversary,” Meyer replied evenly.

“Well we ain’t gonna make it that long if you don’t spoil me every now and then.” He flashed a winning smile, but Meyer looked away. The tips of his ears were pink. Huh. So he could get flustered.

Charlie grinned to himself about that as Meyer swiped open the door. He dropped his backpack—crammed with his own belongings and those of a half-dozen people who had the misfortune of taking the same train as him—onto the carpet.

“Not a bad room after all,” he said, taking it all in. More of a business suite. The walls were crisp hotel white, the leather desk chair stiff and uninviting, the modern furniture chic but obviously un-lived in. “But I gotta warn you,” Charlie grinned as his eyes fell on the king-size bed against the wall, “I’m a bit of a blanket hog.”

Meyer looked startled, but regained composure quickly. He grabbed a notebook from his luggage and settled into the uncomfortable leather chair. “I don’t plan on sleeping much, so feel free,” he said, non-committal and not looking at him.

Okay. That worked, too.

“I’m gonna shower,” he announced, a little awkward, because standing in the middle of the room and not knowing what to do with himself was getting to him. And because Benny wouldn’t stop calling him a hobo all afternoon, so maybe he did need a wash.

When did he get bad at this? Had he always been bad at this? He made a living off a combination of petty theft and seduction cons—he knew he wasn’t bad at this. Meyer was just different from everyone else. Not that he was trying get anything from Meyer the way he did marks. Sure, he wanted someone to show him the ropes, pull him into something bigger, so he wouldn’t have to operate on his own anymore. But that wasn’t a con. That was just how people worked—everybody always wanted something, otherwise why bother? But what Meyer wanted remained a mystery.

By the time he scrubbed his curls with the little bottle of free hotel shampoo and washed (and rewashed) every part of him with the unscented soap, Meyer still had not moved. Steam billowed out of the bathroom door after him as Charlie emerged from the bathroom, damp, in only a pair of fresh boxer-briefs. He padded barefoot across the carpet, rubbing the towel over his hair and tossing it aside.

As he knelt by his backpack to find a shirt, he noticed Meyer looking at him, then quickly glanced back down at his notebook. Charlie smirked. “Y’know,” he said, a little too loud, just to make Meyer look at him again. “We seem to go back to each other’s hotel rooms a lot,” he said, with slow and easy grin.

“Mm. Twice,” Meyer agreed, maybe sarcastically.

He meant the comment to be flirty, but Charlie couldn’t help glance over his shoulder at the door. “Benny’s not gonna bust in and hold a gun to my head, is he?”

Meyer laughed. “Oh, he might. That’s not the plan or anything, you just never know.”

“Great. That makes me feel better.”

He pulled a shirt from his bag, but slung it over his shoulder instead of putting it on. He sauntered over to Meyer, perching on the arm of the chair. “Y’know, if you’re gonna game the whole World Series, you might wanna get some sleep.”

“Do you mind not dripping on me while I’m working?” Meyer asked with a smirk, not looking up.

Charlie swung his shirt into Meyer’s face, and they both laughed.

Meyer worked all through the evening while Charlie sat up in bed, scrolling his phone and watching the TV with the sound turned low—even though Meyer insisted it wouldn’t distract him, after his years of practice tuning Benny out. He ordered room service for dinner and insisted Meyer eat something, even though he said he wasn’t hungry. As the hubbub of honking cars from the street below finally faded into a sleepy 2 AM haze, Charlie switched off the TV.

“Will the light bother you?” Meyer asked, speaking for the first time in hours as Charlie slipped into bed and pulled the comforter up around himself.

“Nah. Got used to sharin’ a room, growin’ up,” he said back, barely stifling a yawn. The whole bus trip up to Boston had really taken it out of him.

It didn’t take long until the room slipped away, sleep starting to pull him under. But even through the haze settling around his mind, he heard the click of the light and the tread of careful feet. He dipped back into a doze to the ambient sounds of the water running in the bathroom.

The bed creaked beside him as Meyer carefully arranged himself on the other side, a wide gap between them. Charlie flipped over to face him. He blinked his heavy eyes in the darkness. “Does this mean you trust me?” he asked, voice groggy already, as they lay on opposite sides of the king-size bed.

There was a long pause. He could feel Meyer’s slow and steady breathing through the mattress in the darkness. “No,” he answered quietly. “I don’t even trust Frank and Benny.”

[wazafam]

No matter which side of the law they operated on, Nic Pizzolatto's three-part HBO crime series True Detective was defined by its brilliant collection of complicated cops and criminals. In season one, a scourge of satanic killings brought detectives Rust Cohle (Matthew McConaughey) and Martin Hart (Woody Harrelson) together to solve the case in Louisiana.

RELATED: True Detective: 10 Best Episodes Of Season One, Ranked (According To IMDb)

In season 2, organized criminal Frank Semyon (Vince Vaughan) sees his legitimate business go by the wayside following the death of his business partner in the fictional town of Vinci, California. In season 3, detective and Vietnam vet Wayne Hays (Mahershala Ali) battles dementia while trying to solve a 35-year-old cold murder case in Arkansas. A common theme throughout the show is that these characters were typically pretty smart.

9 Paul Woodrugh - Season 2

One of the most cryptic characters in the series is Highway Patrol Officer Paul Woodrugh (Taylor Kitsch), a dedicated cop who does his best to conceal his wartime PTSD and homosexuality throughout season 2.

More of the brawn to the police force's brain, Woodrugh is less interested in solving crimes than he is in becoming a good man. In the end, Paul succumbs to his blackmailer and gets involved in a fatal shootout in which he kills several criminals before being gunned down by the crooked Lt. Burris.

8 Frank Semyon - Season 2

Despite his grand ambitions, organized criminal and entrepreneur Frank Semyon has most of his important business affairs handled by his calculating wife, Jordan.

RELATED: 15 Must-See Shows For Fans Of True Detective To Watch

When Frank's high-speed rail project falls apart following the death of city manager Ben Caspere, he uses his connections on both sides of the law to investigate. Yet despite having friends in high places, Frank cannot escape the wrath of Russian mobster Osip and ends up being shot and left for dead in the desert.

7 Roland West - Season 3

Of all the main detective characters on the show, Roland West (Stephen Dorff) took the biggest backseat to his crime-solving partner. Painted as a bit of a southern rube, West's primary function during season 3 is to assist the brilliant police work of detective Wayne Hays but not do a ton of it on his own.

While West's biggest strength is his loyalty to Hayes, he does use his intelligence to photograph the license plate of a mysterious car spying on the two men. Despite being largely ineffectual, West has enough smarts to avoid danger and remain alive by the end of the season.

6 Ray Velcoro - Season 2

Trapped on both sides of the law, the deeply-flawed detective Ray Velcoro (Colin Farrell) is one of the most complex characters in the series. When he isn't complying with his corrupt police superiors or acting on behalf of mobster Frank Semyon, Velcoro tries to maintain his sanity while solving a murder conspiracy.

RELATED: 10 Things That Make No Sense About True Detective

Despite his volatile temperament, Ray is much smarter than he lets on. He manages to untangle the complex web of criminality before helping Frank raid Osip's stash and secure enough money to retire. Ray is also wise enough to sacrifice his own life to ensure the safety of his closest loved ones.

5 Amelia Reardon - Season 3

Although it doesn't become readily apparent until the season 3 finale, Amelia Reardon (Carmen Ejogo) is the chief reason her dementia-ridden husband Wayne Hayes is able to solve the disappearance of Julie Purcell. Thirty-five years after the case was closed, Hayes and his partner Roland West attempt to find out what happened to Julie.

Through a haze of memory loss, Hayes finds the crucial piece of intel to solve the case from the nonfiction book Amelia wrote in 1990. As a schoolteacher and newspaper scribe, Amelia wisely kept tabs on the case in ways that paid off a quarter-century later.

4 Marty Hart - Season 1

At first glance, Detective Martin Hart appears to be a philandering sex-addict who repeatedly cheats on his lovely wife, Maggie (Michelle Monaghan). However, as the lead detective attempting to solve a series of ritualistic murders, Hart demonstrates his procedural acumen.

In addition to handling the paperwork and speaking to the public, Hart is smart enough to allow his eccentric partner Rust Cohle to conduct his unconventional methods without interruption. Hart is also wise enough to help capture the Yellow King and express his regret for not paying enough attention to his daughters when they were young.

3 Ani Bezzerides - Season 2

Given the intelligence that she shows to ensure her ultimate survival, detective Ani Bezzerides (Rachel McAdams) is the smartest character in True Detective season 2.

RELATED: True Detectives: 10 Hidden Details You Didn't Know About The Costumes

Despite nearly losing her life in a criminal case that claimed the lives of her police partners, Velcoro and Woodrugh, Ani's shrewd police work allowed her to escape to Venezuela with enough money to retire on and raise her newborn fathered by Ray. While rough-hewn and rebellious, Ani uses her wits to overcome past trauma and deliver the incriminating evidence of the entire case to a journalist in the end.

2 Wayne Hays - Season 3

Despite battling dementia and dyslexia at his advanced age, Detective Wayne Hays manages to recall vital bits of information from a cold case reopened after 35 years. Somehow, Hays is able to overcome his own health issues to come one step away from capturing the culprit.

RELATED: Mahershala Ali: 10 Best Roles, According To Rotten Tomatoes

When Hays loses his wife and his memory, he still has the wherewithal to contact his former partner Roland West to help him find closure on the biggest case of his life. In the end, Hays manages to figure out what happened to Julie, which took every bit of smarts he had.

1 Rustin Cohle - Season 1

With such philosophical idioms as "time is a flat circle" and "everybody is nobody," Rustin Cohle is the most intelligent True Detective character of all.

Despite his troubled past and crippling dependency on alcohol and barbiturates, Cohle harnasses his fractured soul and damaged spirit into doing some of the most skillful and incisive police work on the entire series. His eccentric nature and unique methods of working allow him and his partner, Martin Hart, to track down the sinister Yellow King.

NEXT: Time Is A Flat Circle: 10 Scariest Moments From HBO's True Detective

True Detective Main Characters, Ranked By Intelligence from https://ift.tt/3rCZ9WY

[jiminwreckedme]

The Beautiful Deception

Chapter 3

| Masterlist | Trailer | Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

Member - Bts OT7

Genre - Thriller, Mystery, Angst, (Smut)

Word count - 5K

Summary - When your ex-boyfriend’s wife goes missing, you are the only one who can help him find her. But in a world where everyone is a friend and everyone is a culprit, where lies are decorated with the best ornaments of facade, where everybody and nobody is right, how will you find out what happened to the woman he loves?

Without falling for him all over again?

Warnings - Mentions of blood and anger management issues. 

Rating - NC17 for mature themes of the whole series.

23rd February 2017 

As sleep begins to leave your company, you feel your eyes flutter open, the obscurity slowly fading away. There’s a bunch of tables and computers, people in blue uniforms working away on them, the sounds of typing overpowering the ever-present buzz of the printer. Letting out an inaudible sigh, you let your eyes shut once again.

This is your 5th day at the police station. For the last few days, you’ve been sitting on these very benches waiting with Yoongi for that officer, Jeon Jungkook. But even after five days, forget meeting him you didn’t so much as see him. His subordinates always gave some or the other reason for his unavailability. To you though, it always seemed like excuses. “Officer Jeon is attending a briefing in the town council.” “Officer Jeon has some more important cases to attend to.” “Officer Jeon only handles emergency cases on weekends.” Excuses. All excuses. It was almost as though he was purposely avoiding Yoongi, and two days ago when you unwittingly voiced your suspicion, Yoongi confirmed it for you. 

“He probably is.” 

“Why though?” 

“Maybe he’s a man who holds a grudge.”

“Why do you think that….” 

“Because he’s not always had pleasant experiences when it comes to me.” 

“Why? What did you do Yoongi?”

“Something he clearly hasn’t forgotten yet.” 

He didn’t tell you more than that and you didn’t ask either. Maybe because a part of you knew the root cause - Min Yoongi had the affinity to make enemies around town.

His poor anger management, his impulsiveness, his rashness, his overly agitated self, they were his closest companions and his biggest flaws. It was in his nature to rebel, to fight against everything that was thrown at him, without even pausing once to think if it was for the good or bad. As a result, fist fights, verbal provocation, acts of rebellion, they were all a part of his everyday life. If there was one thing you could change about Yoongi, it would have to be his need to confront everything without being afraid of the consequences his acts might have. 

But you never once tried. You never stopped him. You never told him to change for you. 

Because you knew what made him like that. You knew how broken he was on the inside and how he constantly guarded those shattered pieces, refusing to let them break anymore. You knew he hurt everyone around him first so they didn’t have a chance to do the same to him. Yoongi wasn’t an angry man, he was a broken one. 

Asking him to not fight was not the solution. Asking him to control himself was not the answer. What Yoongi truly needed was to be set free from his pain, he needed to heal from the inside, he needed to be loved. So that’s what you did. You tried to love him so much, there was no room for his bitterness anymore. You held his hand every time they shook in fear. You looked into his eyes with answers every time he was lost. You nursed his wounds, helped him walk when he was limping and let him lean against you when he needed to. You always stood by Yoongi’s side. 

Over time though, Yoongi started holding himself back. A man who punched people without a second thought stopped himself after balling his fists. A man who could barely control his sharp tongue before those who provoked him, learned to keep quiet. Not because you managed to heal him, no, if only getting rid of such a deeply rooted misery was that easy. But he held himself back because no matter how brave you pretended to be and no matter how hard you tried to hide it, Yoongi saw how you silently cried when you attempted to cure his wounds. When he realized how much his pain saddened you, he stopped letting himself get hurt and like most things between the two of you, words didn’t have to be exchanged for him to understand your plight and you to understand his reasons. He just knew and you just knew.  

We were so good together Yoongi. Why did this happen to us?

And now he was married, something he swore never to do because…. because that was the source of all the thorns that pricked him - The failed marriage of his parents. He refused to let that be his fate, refused to ever let himself be bind to another in that relationship. Yet now he sits next to you, with a ring on his finger, searching for his wife, the woman who healed him and made him believe in the institution of marriage, something you couldn’t do for years. She healed him in ways you failed to and that didn’t hurt you as much as one might think it would. Maybe because the fact that Yoongi’s suffering had lessened was enough for you, it didn’t matter how and why that happened.

What hurt was that all her efforts were reversing now, Min Yoongi was becoming a man of his past once more.

You saw it that day.

You saw what her absence did to him, you saw what her memories made him turn into.

21st February 2017

You’re standing at the edge of the backyard watching the sun set behind the Min Manor, the golden colours adding to its glory.

The Min Manor was one of the biggest and oldest estates in the city and for decades. Their lineage was known for showing off its affluent lifestyle particularly through its outrageously extravagant holiday parties, celebrations that made their balance sheets run in negatives. It’s carefully thought out themes were unmatched, the unnecessarily expensive decor bulged eyeballs, the much more than needed food could possibly feed half the city and the performances displayed were absolutely unbelievable so it was no wonder that they were the talk of the town for days. Not just the Elite families, even the common man who was not fortunate enough to attend it would desperately wait for the Min Manor to house its festivities. To simply put it, the Min family was pretty much the Gatsby of South Korea.  

All up until about 10 years ago. 

10 years ago, for a reason that was never revealed to the world, the Min Manor suddenly stopped housing its insane events, causing an uproar in the community. The press had stationed themselves before the manor, demanding for answers, the public who already spoke about them excessively, began discussing about them even more and the high-end families suddenly didn't know what to do with their weekends anymore. Over time, as the Min family started completely disappearing from every possible social circle, papers and magazines that wouldn’t sell without their names in it, slowly forgot about them. Conversations that took place around their lives ceased to occur. No one looked out for them, waited for them or even remembered them anymore. It was like society had wiped out their existence. 

But one thing that didn’t change to this date is the grandeur they always had, and the Min Manor, which stood just as regally as it did for generations now.

While its affluence till date continued to tempt everyone, the only person it couldn’t impress was Min Yoongi.  

You turn around, ignoring the sky’s low rumble, looking at what you had discovered during your solitary walk around the estate. Yoongi’s campervan. The tiny place he lived abandoning all the riches and luxury of his family. The space that was not just personal to him but to you as well. There were countless afternoons the two of you just laid down on the bed under the window, limbs tangled under the sheets, your laughter the only sound in that small space. There were so many hours when you sat watching him work on his music, so many take-aways you shared with him, so many books he kept stacking because you loved to read them. The name you painted at the side of his camper is still there. And your handprint next to it, the one that you accidently left in an attempt to balance yourself as you got out of Yoongi’s lap where you had positioned yourself comfortably to do this little project of yours.

As the sky darkens, a flash of lightning illuminates everything, letting you see more the details of the state it was in today - shambles. The white painted metal was corroding to a brown colour, shades of green splashed across it as creepers and moss, dust had settled on the surface, hiding the beautiful caravan under it. 

Yoongi loved this more than his life. The thought that he would leave something so precious to him in such a sorry state puzzles you but then again, Yoongi had let go a lot of things he had once claimed were cherished. 

He left me. 

The sky starts to drizzle its contents ever so slowly, but you don’t mind it, watching the water wash away the dirt in little rivets.  You don’t bother even when it gets a little heavier, forming puddles around you. You don’t care until all of sudden like an overturned bucket, the sky begins dumping its contents relentlessly, making you finally shield your head with your arms and rush across the uneven terrain back into the house. Just as you hurry back in, your head hits against something hard making you bite back a scream of pain. Yoongi stands right across you, rubbing his forehead fast, much like you were.

While you are busy balancing the act of wincing in pain, shivering and finding the ability stop your teeth from chattering to apologize, Yoongi presses an intercom like device on the wall beside you.

“Grace, get two towels and a glass of hot water to the back entrance please.”

“I’m sorry.” You finally say, pointing at his forehead. “I didn’t see you…”

“It’s alright.” He stuffs his hands in his pocket. He’s wearing his signature all black attire.

“Are you…are you going out? In this rain.”

You carefully avoid adding the word ‘again’.

Over the last two days as you stood by the window of your room unsuccessfully battling your jet lag, you watched Yoongi leave as the sun sets only to return at the crack of dawn. Where he spent his nights, you had no idea. Why he spent them out of the house, you had no idea. Whatever the reason was, could it be important enough for him to go even in such a downpour?

“Yes, but its fine.” He stares at the heavy rain which obscured just about everything in sight. “I like getting wet in the rain anyways.”

Because of you. 

“Yoongi.” You stand by the window, palm flat on the glass, feeling the coldness but aching to feel the waters. “Let’s go out in the rain-” 

“No thanks.” 

“Please.”

“No.”

“Yoongi.” You drag your words hoping it will affect him. 

“If you want to so badly, then you go.”

“I don’t want to leave you alone.”

As you look at him over your shoulder Yoongi finally looks up from his notepad, a corner of his mouth pulled into a soft smile. 

“Is that a yes?”

“No.” He walks up to you, sliding the glass pane. “I won’t go to the rain, but,” He sticks his hand out and you already know what he’s going to do. “I can bring the rain to you.” And just as you thought, he flicks the water in his hand at your face, even before you had the time to shield yourself with your hands. 

“Yoongi!” 

He laughs, taking quick steps away from you, thwarting two out of your three attempts of a mirrored attack. 

“Don’t, you’ll wet the floor.” He wipes his face against the material of his shirt on his shoulder. “The rest of the band won’t be very happy with the mess.”

You stick your tongue out at him, splashing him once more, unbothered. Like the rest of the band would even say a word to you in front of Yoongi. Or even behind his back. 

“Y/n, stop it-” He ducks, once, then twice, but you continue relentlessly anyways, laughing at his plight, till he suddenly walks up to you, grabbing you by the wrist. “I said, stop it.”

“Make me.” You smirk, holding him by the collar, pulling him closer. 

“Hmm.” He wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you even closer. “Let’s get you busy with something else then shall we?” 

Your laugh melts into his kiss, as he leaves your hand and rests it below your cheek instead, your breaths mingling, hearts hammering against each other’s chest. 

Breaking free just once, you whisper against his lips, “Sorry not sorry.” and tug him by his shirt, leaning back, out of the window and letting the rain drizzle over your entwined figures. Yoongi groans into your mouth but he doesn’t stop, the heat in your cheeks rising till the waters didn’t feel cold anymore. 

“You don’t,” He sneaks in a small peck, grinning at you, the rain water dripping from the ends of his hair. “You don’t seem to hate the rain now.”

“Like this.” He kisses a cheek. “With you.” Then the other. “I don’t.” 

You laugh again, like you always do with him, as he presses his lips onto yours once more. 

From that day on, Yoongi was always by your side in the rain. Because he meant it. Yoongi had fallen in love with the rain because of you.

And even now, after so long, he still loved it. 

The thought makes your heart ache in a strange way. 

Why do you no longer walk together in the rain Yoongi?

“Oh dear sweetie, you’re all wet!” Grace, the sweet househelper who rushes to your every beck and call, waddles up to you, balancing a glass of steaming water in her hand and towels in the other, just like Yoongi asked. You take a towel from her, patting yourself dry as Yoongi gives her a hand with the glass, letting her tiptoe and rub the towel vigorously against your hair. “You’re going to catch a cold at this rate Y/n!”

You wince as the short woman gives up on her tiptoes to reach you and instead pulls you down, relentlessly continuing her attempts to dry you. The act almost makes Yoongi smile as he looks away.

“All your clothes are soaking wet! We need to change you out of them as soon as possible.” She grabs your arm with determination and almost pulls you along with her before a realization hits her, making her stop her tracks and blink fast. “I just put all your night clothes in the laundry though.”

“Oh -”

“This is a house of men moreover, there’s no decent clothing to even offer you….maybe Mrs. Min had some?”

The very thought of borrowing Yoongi’s wife’s belongings unexplainably disturbs you. You don’t want it. You don’t want anything that belongs to her. But before you can politely decline her offer, Yoongi speaks instead.

“Grace.” The hardness in his voice shocks you, making you turn to him. There’s not even a small trace of earlier humor in them, anger flashing instead. The same anger that you always feared would destroy him. “Know your limits.” 

“I’m so sorry Sir.” She rambles fast, hiding her fear. “but she didn’t have-“

“Yoongi!” You instinctively cover your mouth in shock as the glass in his hand cracks with the pressure he’s exerting on it, the shards piercing through his skin, letting the crimson flow out. As Grace stands frozen, her face pale, her position rooted, you extend your hand to help him but he pulls back, letting the pieces drenched in his blood fall to the floor.

“Know. Your. Limits.” He growls, threat clear in his voice before he turns and leaves, figure getting smaller and smaller in the downpour, the trail of red seeping into the mud behind him the only visible thing.

24th February 2017 – present day.

That anger in Yoongi’s eyes, it didn’t allow you to sleep for nights. It bothered you over and over again, head hurting every time you thought about his condition. His whole world had collapsed. Yoongi must really love his wife.

You see it in his eyes, in the way he pines for her, in the way he’s lost, oscillating between bouts of extreme reactions – sometimes resorting to adverse reactions like that night, creating wounds that were still fresh in his palm and sometimes absolutely silent like he was every minute he spent in the station, tolerating all the injustice done to him. As you sat day after day in the police station watching how cases like a woman’s missing cat and small boy returning a lost dollar got more attention than his wife who was missing for 10 months now, you wondered how he didn’t react one bit, not with anger, not with disappointment, just sitting, stoic as ever.

It was one thing that Yoongi barely spoke in the first place but the when the topic was about his wife, he was more silent than usual. For a man who loved his wife to the extent where he was possessive about her simple materialistic belongings, for whom he was willing to reach out to his ex-girlfriend he had abandoned, for whom he spent over 10 months scouring despite being discouraged by everyone around him, Yoongi never once willingly spoke about his wife. Initially you thought it was because he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable but as time passed you realized it was more than that. 

Sometimes it felt like the situation never favored the conversation and sometimes it felt Yoongi just didn’t want to talk about her. You are yet to find out which of these is the true answer.

19th February 2017

“I saw your family portraits.”

As you sit side by side with considerable gap between the both of you in the cab, you recollect your walk in the halls of the manor the previous night, when you came across something you had only heard Yoongi talk about it the past. Family portraits of the Min family, one for every year, taken every Christmas eve. As you walked from one end of the room to the other, keenly looking at each progressing picture, you noticed how as Yoongi grows older, his gummy smile shrinks smaller and smaller and smaller…. till the moment another woman sits in the place that should rightfully be his mother’s. 

Then his smile completely vanishes. 

“She wasn’t in any of them.”

If Yoongi got married two years ago, it was only logical to expect at least a photo or two of his wife but surprisingly the series of photos stops right before the year you deduce Yoongi got hitched.

“We stopped taking pictures after my father died.” He answers, still staring outside the window.

You want to believe him but a part of you had to admit that something didn’t add up. Because right after the last photo, lodged in the wall were two more nails that stood empty. It didn’t seem like the photos were not taken, it felt more like....the photos were taken down. 

But just as you bring yourself to ask the question, Yoongi lowers the window, the sound of the wind drowning your question.

20th February 2017

“What’s her name?”

You poke the piece of meat on your plate, casually making conversation. With passing days Yoongi and you spoke more than a few lines over dinner.

“November.”

His answer surprises you. “H-her name is November?”

“Yeah,” He’s still staring at his food. “Everyone calls her Nona, I call her Nobi.” 

“Nobi? Like Hobi?” 

Shit. 

You regret the question the moment it slips from your mouth, avoiding his eye, hoping he did not hear it. 

“Yeah, Nobi, like Hobi.” 

Why would you ask him that Y/n, why did you take his name?  

“Hoseok’s fine, if that’s what you are thinking.” Yoongi drags his spoon through the potatoes. “He’s been out of town for a while now. He should be back in a few days.” 

You swallow nothing uncertainly “Does he….”

“Still live here?” He nods. “He does. This is his house after all.” 

“And you both?” You choose your words cautiously. “You’re….okay?” 

“We have to be. No matter how much both of us try to deny it, end of the day,” He looks up at you with a sad smile. “We are brothers.” 

“If she sheds even a tear because of you, Min Yoongi, I will come for your life.” Hoseok stands across you for the last time as Yoongi’s hand tightens around yours. “This, I promise you.” 

After that you eat in silence, this time, letting the questions and answers drown in the quietness.

24th February 2017 – present day

The past half week you were constantly given half answers like this. The very Yoongi who answered even your unasked questions, for some reason had nothing much to say when you genuinely voiced your doubts. When he asked you to trust him with the bare little he told you, you were willing to, every bit of you was willing to. Because you knew him better than anyone. You knew the pain in his eyes was as raw and real as it could get.

But as days passed and the more you got involved, there was one thing you realized. Some things about Yoongi did not seem…..normal. It seemed like he was the same man and not at the same time. Just as you felt you knew him, the very next moment he turned unfamiliar. Certain things he did and said confused you more than you could explain. You didn’t expect him to give you answers and reasons for all his actions and decisions because you knew it was not in your place to ask him such questions anymore. That, though, did not stop you from silently wondering if Yoongi was not telling you the entire truth or worse………

He might have been lying all this while.

22nd February 2020 

You’ve been thinking a lot these days. Sometimes lost in the memories of the past, sometimes lost in the orchestration of the future. You don’t know which exactly you were lost in when you stepped into the darkness of the West Wing. You are about half way down the corridor when you realize that you’re right in the middle of the one place you aren’t supposed to be at.  

A strange feeling grips you, almost paralyzing your feet, not letting you take a step back or a step forward. Instead, a war erupts in your mind, a battle between your curiosity and fear. The curiosity to know why exactly no one was supposed to come here and the fear of finding out that reason. The reason that no one knew. The reason you had been wanting to know since the night you came here.

“I have no idea, Miss Y/n.”

“Just Y/n please.” 

Grace gives a motherly smile before resuming her disapproving look in response to your question. Why is it that corridor so dark?

“When I joined a few months ago, I was told no one is allowed to step in there. Not to clean, not out of curiosity, never. Not for about a year now. According to the other staff, anyone who trespassed that area was immediately fired. After knowing that, I didn’t dare try to find out, I really need this job.”

Were her hands shaking?

“I am to take the responsibility of looking after you so please Y/n, don’t ever go there. I can’t imagine what master will do to me if he finds out.”

There’s so much fear in her eyes.

“I won’t.” You promise.

But here you are, though unknowingly, you still had broken that promise. And that’s what makes the decision for you. 

Your fright, your inquisitiveness, none of that mattered. You didn’t want the consequences of your actions to hurt Grace. You had become way too attached to her and her little, parent-less, grand children who often ran around the backyard, your only source of comfort in this emptiness. You couldn’t imagine uprooting their whole lives because of one selfish decision.

So, you turn around.

Even though you want to know why Yoongi was so particular about sealing off this place, why these shadows were so carefully guarded and what was being hidden here, you subdue it all and walk out, into the otherwise well-lit house.

Or at least you wish you did.

Because as you walk towards your room, you can feel your breath hitching, your pace quickening, stomach turning in the most uncomfortable way. The moment you reach your room you shut the door behind you, back against it, chest heaving. As you look at the woman in the mirror before you, she’s shivering.

Because you saw something.

You should be feeling shame, that despite convincing yourself to walk away and not feed your inquisitiveness, you did stop for a brief second, just one second.

Instead you are afraid.

Because even though a second is not long, it was enough to look past the half open door and right into the room you had stopped your tracks next to. Yoongi’s room.

You didn’t want to admit it to even yourself but maybe, just maybe you had found out why the West wing was forbidden.

24th February 2017 – present day

Your eyes fly open when the scene that you are trying not to remember flashes before your eyes.

You can feel the pain in your neck as you roll it back, stretching the muscle.

“Awake?”

You freeze hearing his voice, realizing from his proximity and your position that all this while you had been fast asleep on his shoulder.

“Sorry.” You quickly straighten yourself and scoot to the side.  

“I keep telling you to stay at home, at least till your jet lag gets better.”

“It’s alright.” You insist. “I….I need water.”

And to get away from you.

You get up before he even has the chance to nod in response and make your away across the station, heart beating fast in your rib-cage. Holding the paper cup under the tap you watch it fill up with water, refusing for the hundredth time today to remember the details of that room.

The unaddressed chaos. Broken glass on the floor, wilted flowers petals flying around, pillows torn up everywhere, sheets haphazard.

You quickly gulp the water as though it will wash down the memory the scene, instead you remember the details much better.

There were red stains on the carpet, about three to four blotches, right beside the stained glass.

Blood. 

It was blood. 

Someone got injured the day this happened. 

“11th April 2016.” 

You whisper under your breath, recalling once more, the date on the tear off calendar by the bed.

That date…. The date Yoongi mentioned his wife disappeared. He said they argued the day she left the house. If the West Wing had been uninhabited for about a year now, was that mess a result of that argument? Did it spiral into some kind of fight?

Though Yoongi said it was a trivial matter.

Or was he not telling the truth about what happened that night?

“Look at him, he has the face of a liar.”

Your ears perk, catching the sound of a conversation on the nearby desk.

“Cut him some slack, the man’s looking for his lost wife.”

“By publicly getting cosy with his ex-girlfriend?”

“Ex-girlfriend?”  

“Mhmm, that one there.” Without looking, you guess the owner of the voice is pointing at your back. “I heard she was his plaything back in his college days.” Plaything? You feel your fists ball in anger. “He left her because she wanted more.”

“Christ, and she’s here despite all that?” A mocking laughter. “What is it for, the money?”

Money? Before your family’s net worth, the Mins were as good as beggars.

“That or she’s a cock hungry bitch. A perfect match, if you ask me, because that Min Yoongi is no less than a dog. The man’s an absolute animal. Do you how many times he was in the custody of this very police station for physical assault and public brawls? Men like him don’t know how to love.”

Men like him don’t know how to love?

“For all we know he might have been the one who did away with his wife-”

You’ve heard enough. 

Turning around, you walk up to the two officers, slamming your hand on the table, looking at them straight in the eye.

“Get up.”

They blink at you stupidly, fueling your annoyance, making you snarl. “I said get. Up.” 

You cross your arms as the two men unwillingly stand, slight fear decorating their faces. 

“The last time I checked this was a police station, not the court of law. I’m sorry I have to teach you your job but it’s not to sit there and pass judgments, it’s to ensure that the city and the lives of its residents are problem free.” 

It gets more and more silent as all eyes turn towards you. 

“Obviously, you’ve already failed at that because there’s a woman missing for about a year now and your department hasn’t done crap to find her. I’ve been watching what’s going on and what kind of cases are getting the priority. A woman lost her cat? that’s what’s important? Are you fucki-” You stop yourself, reminding yourself of your limits. “-bloody kidding me?”  

You can see Yoongi approaching you from the corner of your eye and force yourself to calm down. You didn’t need him getting involved in this. 

“Instead of sitting there and discussing such worthless, irrelevant issues, go and get your officer.” You lower your voice, making the threat in it clear. “Don’t make the mistake of taking my silence or compliance as a weakness. Because I swear, if your officer doesn’t stand before me within five minutes, mark my words, I will do whatever it takes to make sure this police station disappears from the map of Seoul. Am I clear?

“Fierce.” 

You turn around at the voice to a man leaning against the door of a cabin. Jeon Jungkook, his badge reads. So this is the asshole. “I didn’t take you to be such a woman.” 

“Officer Jeon.” You feel Yoongi right behind you. “I’ve been-”

“Min Yoongi.” His voice sounds like it disgusts him to take his name. “I told you, I told you a hundred times now, don’t come to me till you’ve got your documents.”

“It’s not that easy Jungkook, I’ve been trying for so long-”

“Try harder.” He shrugs. “In fact you should be trying there, not here. With me, you’re just wasting time.” And with that he walks away, leaving you in utter confusion.

What documents? Why didn’t Yoongi mention he needed those to meet Jungkook? Why did you waste five days in the police station without them when as Jungkook said, you should have been trying for them?

You turn to Yoongi but he’s looking elsewhere, the same pained expression on this face. The expression that tells you that once again you are going to get half answers. You didn’t want them anymore.

“Stop.”

You walk up to Jungkook who surprisingly obeys and halts, turning around.

“What documents are you talking about?”

His eyebrows raise and he leans to the side, looking at Yoongi over your shoulder.

“Eyes here.” You snap your fingers, getting his attention. “I’m the one standing before you, so look at me and answer me. You have no reason to look there.” 

He purses his lips, almost as though he liked your guts. “And who are you?”

“Y/n.”

“And what relationship do you share with Min Yoongi?”

“I don’t see how it concerns you.”

“You are standing here, talking for him.” Jungkook cocks his head to the side. “I am required to know who you are.”

You take longer than it should to answer. 

“A friend.”

“Is that right? Then how is it that I haven’t seen you coming to his rescue in the last one year?” 

You swallow, unnecessarily clearing your throat. 

“W-we knew each other in college and…...we lost contact after that.”

“When did you get back in contact?” You sigh, ready to fire at him for his meaningless questions but Jungkook doesn’t give you the chance. “I need answers if you want answers Ms.Y/n.” 

You stare him down. “About a week ago.” 

“And where do you stay?”

“In the Min Manor, as a guest.”

“I see”  Jungkook nods his head slowly, sitting down on the table behind, dangling his leg. “So you’re not really close friends yet you stay in his house. You haven’t met each other in years yet he reaches out to you a week ago and you’re here, willing to pick a fight with the representatives of the law- don’t roll your eyes at me Ms.Y/n, the things you’ve told me don’t add up, I feel like there’s something else about the two of you that you’re not telling me.”

“I’ve told you what you need to know,” You speak between gritted teeth. Why did people care about the relationship you share with Yoongi? “Beyond that is unnecessary and irrelevant.” 

“Ok, then let’s talk about relevant things, shall we?” He crosses his arm, finally meaning business. “What did he tell you Ms.Y/n, to make you stand here before me? To help him? To trust him? But let me ask you Ms.Y/n,” Your lips part in shock as Jungkook asks you the one question you refused to ask yourself. “What makes you think you can trust him?”

[lafiyahenry]

How Money Heist Uses Music

SEASON FOUR SPOILER ALERT! 

I have watched Money Heist religiously since season one. It’s one of the most amazing pieces of art I’ve witnessed. It’s written beautifully, the cinematography is clean, crisp and aesthetically pleasing at all times, the characters are portrayed in such a raw way; we see their flaws and love them nonetheless. After four seasons, they feel like our family too. But yesterday as I sat down to binge watch the latest season, from the first episode I could tell that something was different... and it all began when Berlin opened his mouth and sang. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3xtWk9VJ5s

For those of you who live under a rock, or simply don’t appreciate the finer things in life, Money Heist or La Casa De Papel is a Spanish television heist crime drama series. It’s told from the perspective of our badass female protagonist, Tokyo. A man called The Professor has assembled a team of eight people, all code-named after various cities, to rob the Royal Mint of Spain. The plan is well thought out and we see things progress in real time. What’s even more amazing is that we are on their side. We want them to get away! The heist is a heist for the people, a revolt against the government. There are allusions to Robin Hood where the gang gives money to the poor and so they’re supported by the public. The themes that we see are  anti-fascism, anti-capitalism, and just plain resistance. We also see themes of passion like love, friendship and betrayal. If you’ve seen the show, you know how important music was in the first seasons. Case in Point: Bella Ciao. 

Everybody who has seen this show, knows this song. Bella Ciao encompasses everything that the show is about. It is an Italian protest song that  was modified and adopted as an anthem of the anti-fascist resistance by the Italian partisans between 1943 and 1945 during the Italian Resistance. One of the first times we hear it is in a scene between The Professor and his brother, Berlin, while discussing the plan for the heist. The song feels like hope. It rings of freedom. It quickly became a fan favorite and an “anthem” of sorts. It is simple, catchy and the feeling that rises in you when you sing, becomes infectious. So, the story has always been connected to music but this season was done differently. Let me explain. 

Everybody loves Latin music. Show me someone that doesn’t want to gyrate their hips and take shots of tequila when they hear Latin music and I’ll show you a psychopath. Just the fact that Money Heist is a Spanish television show, they were destined to greatness where any soundtrack was concerned. The theme song “My Life is Going On” by Cecilia Krull is sung in English which is interesting because the music used in Seasons 1 and 2 are Primarily Spanish.  Don’t get me wrong, there are English songs  mixed in there but it predominately is Spanish sung. In Seasons 1 and 2 the music is also scarce compared to 3 and 4. In this article is shows exactly what music was used. But the question is about how the music is being used. 

In the earlier seasons they used music mostly to set the mood and color of the scenes. When using the song Bella Ciao, it was personal to the Professor and Berlin who had learned it from a grandparent. From then, it was adapted to the whole gang who now use it as their personal anthem for resistance. I believe that the soundtrack is developing with the characters as the seasons go by. It’s becoming more personal to them through the use of diegetic music. 

Diegetic Music is a big term that literally means that the music  is part of the fictional setting and so, presumably, is heard by the characters.

 Diegetic = heard by the characters, for example Bella Ciao & Ti Amo (the song Berlin sings for his wife) 

Non- diegetic= My Life is Going On (Theme Song), the music that the characters do not hear. 

For Seasons 3 & 4 there was definitely a bigger budget and more attention paid to the musical selections but there was definitely increased use in diegetic music. We hear Van Morrison’s Days Like This in S4 E2 with Palermo getting ready and we know that the music is heard by him because he sings along (making it diegetic). This song choice is abnormal for the Money Heist that we knew in seasons 1 and 2. It’s not sung in Spanish and it’s not Latin either but it gives the scene a depth to it. Music itself is a Universal language and no matter race, ethnicity or nationality we all understand what the scene is saying, through the music. The tool of irony is being used as well. The music in itself is hopeful and Van Morrison sings about better days but the team isn’t in the best place. One of their own is captured and being questioned by the police . It weirdly makes the scene feel nostalgic and it’s just one of the scenes that really stood out to me while watching it. 

Another great example of diegetic music in Season 4 is when in Episode 5, Nairobi goes to encourage the workers in the forge that are melting the gold and we hear “Fuego by Bomba Estereo”.  She has the music played in speakers while the workers work and we see her sing  the beat of the song. The song sounds personal to Nairobi and her character. It sounds like her. The choice of music in this scene represents Nairobi and her presence in the Forge, how she motivates and takes charge of the men. She asks them to perform their tasks with rhythm! The music has now represented the character.

There are many more examples of how the music is used brilliantly but the real prime moment of awe for me was Nairobi’s death in S4 E6. Damian Rice’s Delicate? It smashed me to pieces emotionally. This is non-diegetic music, the characters themselves have no idea the music is playing. Just like with Days Like This, the song is neither Latin nor sung in Spanish but because of the universality of music, most people understand what is going on subconsciously. Rice’s woeful voice, the slow tempo of the song and heavy use of strings? We know instantly that this is painful. We are visually seeing a beloved character dead and audibly we hear a musical expression of the team’s pain. We see them crying and bawling but we actually don’t hear them. The song that is playing is expressing everything the Director wants us to feel in that moment. 

I could go on and give infinite more examples of when Money Heist had made the right choices regarding music, but then this blog post would be entirely too long. I was born into a family of musicians and have played music for most of my life. So, when a film or television show has done amazing work and placed thought into the creation of an audible landscape that keeps audiences engaged and interested, I have to stan! Hats off to the composers Manel SantistebanIván and Martínez Lacámara for a job well done especially the evolutions from season to season, which they have handled well. 

WE’RE READY FOR SEASON FIVE, NETFLIX! 

Love, Lafiya. 

[erraticfairy]

Podcast: Low Self-Esteem and How it Connects to Mental Illness



As a society, we suffer from low self-esteem. A lot. The entertainment media assaults us with beautiful faces and perfect bodies, making millions feel inadequate or even ashamed. We have school children who feel that anything less than straight A’s is failure. For people living with mental illness, the impact of low self-esteem is even worse. Listen to hear how.

  SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW

“Physical health is extremely important in mental health.” – Michelle

“All mental health is physical health!” – Gabe

  Highlights From ‘Self-Esteem’ Episode

[3:30] Why do we feel bad about our bodies?

[7:00] Michelle used to be a photo retoucher. It’s all fake!

[9:30] We usually celebrate with food.

[14:30] Michelle’s Mom encouraged her to play sports to help her mental health.

[18:00] Physical health is important when it comes to mental health.

[22:00] Is hating yourself a mental health issue?

Computer Generated Transcript for ‘Low Self-Esteem and How it Connects to Mental Illness’ Show

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Announcer: Announcer: For reasons that utterly escape everyone involved, you’re listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. Here are your hosts, Gabe Howard and Michelle Hammer.

Gabe: Hello, everybody, and welcome to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast.  My name is Gabe and I have bipolar disorder.

Michelle: I’m Michelle, and I’m schizophrenic and I’m yelling like Gabe.

Gabe: No.

Michelle: Yes, Gabe.

Gabe: I wanted you to like match my energy. I want you to be like I am Michelle.

Michelle: You need to chill the fuck out.

Gabe: That’s not the first time that I’ve heard this.

Michelle: Gabe, I have a problem.

Gabe: You have more than one but what is the specific problem that we are going to discuss today?

Michelle: Gabe, I think I gained a whole bunch of weight. I’m not loving it.

Gabe: Where you think you’re the fat one?

Michelle: No, no I’m not fatter than you.

Gabe: Well OK OK. Well first off why do you think that you have gained a bunch of weight? Did did you weigh yourself?

Michelle: No, I don’t have a scale but I looked in the mirror.

Gabe: Ok so you don’t know for a fact that you’ve gained weight. You just feel like you gained weight based on?

Michelle: How my clothes are fitting, my appearance in the mirror. I don’t believe in scales. I think that scales are the devil. So I mean I don’t do that. I think.

Gabe: I just I’m now picturing a scale with like horns and a tail just like chasing women all over like we’ve gotten it wrong we’re looking for like a red guy with a pitchfork. But in actuality.

Michelle: Scales are the devil, Gabe, scales are the devil. Even though Jews don’t believe in the devil, scales are the devil. Just saying, just putting it out there. Putting it out there.

Gabe: Scales do exist, and they make many people cry. As you know, Michelle, ever since we started working together and the first time that we ever got on a stage together we watched the playback and the first thing that you said is that your hair looked frizzy and the first thing that I said was Holy shit I am fat gigantic ugly ugly just so fat because with just me and you in the frame. My six foot three two hundred and seventy five pounds next to your five foot four not two hundred and seventy five pounds it just made me look so fat just so fat. But you told me that I was not fat. You were actually very you. What did you say?

Michelle: What exactly did I say? You just look broad and built.

Gabe: Yeah. And you said that I didn’t look like I had a beach ball gut.

Michelle: Yeah. You don’t have a beach ball gut.

Gabe: You were very supportive. And you said look that’s what you look like you’re a big guy. You’re a giant of a man and that’s good. You’re just convincing yourself that you’re ugly because that’s what people do that this isn’t based on any fact you’re just looking at your body and you hate it like everybody else and you need to stop it. It was very good advice it was. It was kind. You told me that I wasn’t ugly.

Michelle: Well yes I guess I was being very nice to you, Gabe. Yes you’re not ugly. Yes.

Gabe: And you’re not fat.

Michelle: Thank you. I appreciate that.

Gabe: But the tie in here is why do we believe this? Why do you believe that you’re fat? Like you said you didn’t weigh yourself you don’t know that you gained any weight. You’ve just decided that based on your physical appearance in a mirror there’s something you don’t like. And now you feel badly about it because you feel bad about it.

Michelle: Yeah I don’t know. I mean growing up as a woman what I mean I grew up before the whole range of “Oh, love your body for whatever curves. It was all skinny skinny skinny skinny, you gotta be skinny, you gotta stay skinny, skinny skinny is good. What’s good you got us these skinny skinny skinny so not being skinny skinny skinny, it’s almost like you’re wrong, you’re bad, you’re not good because like the whole thing now is you know have your curves look like Kim Kardashian, she has that curvy body but you know growing up in like the early 2000s really it was not like that at all.

Gabe: I hate you so much right now because when you said growing up in. I fully expected 80s to come out of your mouth and you just leapfrogged a whole another decade. You were like the early 2000s when I was growing up like bitch. I had a job, owned a house, and was on my second wife but you’re not wrong. And even some of the messages that we absorb like, do you remember the Dove “Real Woman” campaign?

Michelle: Yes I do. Yes I do.

Gabe: And all of those women were just like two sizes bigger than all of the skinny women. The real woman campaign was like, “You don’t need to be a six, you can love yourself even if you’re a 10.”

Michelle: Yeah and all the plus sized models that are just sized four and up. Yeah. I’m not

Gabe: Yeah.

Michelle: Even at that. I wish I could be a size 4. Please, come on.

Gabe: But there’s even you know, my wife pointed out other things that you know now we have. There is a model who is very beautiful and she’s a size 16/18. Now I am a man. I don’t understand these but I’m told that 16/18 is well into the plus sizes, right? OK. And my wife wears a size (beep) and I know she loves this shit. She’s now like what the hell are you doing?

Michelle: She’s, yes, she’s going to be mad about that whole thing, Gabe.

Gabe: Yeah. Yeah but that’s OK. It’s for the family, for the family. It’s for the show, it’s for the show. But she said that she’d rather have the size 16/18 body and I was like wait, isn’t smaller better? Like this is confusing me because I thought it was all about numbers on a scale, it was all about numbers on the tag and she said that that model has this perfectly hourglass figure. This nice smooth stomach that while her body is larger it’s still like proportionate and attractive and it doesn’t have, and she started pointing out all of these things on her body that she didn’t like. You know like love handles etc..

Michelle: This model, is this in photos though?

Gabe: I brought that up too. I said look this is edited etc. But my wife said that’s not the point. The point is that if they’re photo shopping this plus sized model they’re still doing to her what they’re doing to all of the other women which makes it impossible for women to have an adequate body image

Michelle: Yeah.

Gabe: Because.

Michelle: Well what did what my first internships in the city was a fashion photographer. The way we used to do the photo editing the all of the retouching was insane. Thing is the camera they use shows every single flaw on the body. It’s so intense and we go in to photoshop and we take every flaw away, make every dress fit better, make every girl look amazing. I’m telling you straight up from the person who used to do this. It’s fake it’s not real. These dresses all dresses when you’re when you see a girl in a dress that’s made for a clothing line. Those dresses are sample size these models are not. Those dresses all have clips in the back to make them even fit better and then anything it doesn’t look like it doesn’t fit perfectly. We make that dress form fit to the body. It’s not real.

Gabe: It reminds me of I love action movies and I like James Bond action movies and things like that. And I was watching this special on how they do the special effects for action movies and in it James Bond was saying that you know he always fights in a suit. You know he’s always got his suit on because he sees suave and debonair and every single move that he does like a kick or a punch or a duck or a jump or whatever has a different suit. That way the suit can be cut all the different ways. So for example if he’s just standing there the suit is tailored so he looks nice and thin but of course he couldn’t lift his leg up or the pants would split. So when he has to do the scenes where he kicks he puts on a different suit that is cut so that he can kick and the same thing with punching and it just reminds me of all those women’s dresses I see where the woman standing up looks gorgeous. But in order to sit down she has to put her shawl on her lap because there’s just not enough dress left.

Michelle: Oh my God that’s hilarious. And what do you think this does to the public though? Everybody aspires to be these people they see in the movies and in the magazines and then people just like feel bad about themselves. I know I used to when I was younger and I didn’t know about all this retouching and everything like that I wanted to be these women in the magazines. I want to be as beautiful as Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera all of them. But now I know that’s not what it was. And it’s you aspire to be fake but is it like a lie. Like do you feel like people need to apologize for what they did? You know almost it’s like you fooled kids and you gave young girls like low self-esteem causing eating disorders. Don’t people realize that sometimes doing these things is really detrimental to people’s health and their minds and bodies and all of that?

Gabe: Well, but herein lies the problem. What about like alcohol and cigarettes or Diet Coke or sugared foods or you know I weighed five hundred and fifty pounds. You know why I weighed five hundred and fifty pounds, aside from untreated bipolar disorder? It’s because I was so unhappy that I tried to do all of the stereotypical food things. You ever notice that food is in every celebration? When it’s Thanksgiving what do you eat?

Michelle: Food

Gabe: Yeah. When it’s your birthday what do you eat?

Michelle: Cake.

Gabe: And on Christmas, what do you eat?

Michelle: Chinese food.

Gabe: Yeah. Because you’re Jewish?

Michelle: Yeah.

Gabe: But I eat you know I just every single holiday every when somebody passes away food. When we celebrate big wins. What happens if the lacrosse team wins the championship? What do you all go and do?

Michelle: Go out and party. We never won a championship. I’m sorry.

Gabe: But I mean you would have a

Michelle: Had a huge party, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gabe: You would have eaten. You would have drank. You would have celebrated. So all of this stuff goes together in my mind. So every time I saw happy people they were eating. So I thought Oh my God. All I have to do is eat more and all be happy. That right that connected in my brain. Now I understand my brain was messed up but that’s what I thought. But instead all I did was make me weigh five hundred and fifty pounds. Does this mean that the food industry owes me an apology?

Michelle: I see what you’re saying.

Gabe: Did they do something wrong?

Michelle: Hold up one sec. We’re going to hear from our sponsor.

Announcer: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com. Secure, convenient, and affordable online counselling. All counselors are licensed, accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist, whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face to face session. Go to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counselling is right for you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral.

Gabe: We’re back talking about diet, exercise, body image, and probably lacrosse.

Michelle: When do people like learn good food habits? When are food habits even taught? When our good self esteem habits taught? I almost feel like those should be classes. Those are something that should be taught in school but I think those are left to be taught by the parents but not all parents know how to teach that well.

Gabe: It gets even worse than that. Think about families with multiple children and then think about how society pressures you to treat different children of different genders or different age groups. For example, we’ll take my family. My family, they encouraged me constantly to play sports because I was a fat kid. So just constantly you need to get out and exercise you need to play sports. You need to. They were doing this because they didn’t want me to be the fat kid but it made me hate exercise. I didn’t like to go outside. I didn’t want to play sports. I didn’t like any of it but my brother, he loved sports. He played them all. And for whatever reason it didn’t occur to my parents that he was struggling in school. So they didn’t say hey you need to get better grades and go to college. But they told their smart kid hey you need to exercise more. It just shows that for some reason being fat is bad but not doing well in school? He plays sports, he’ll be fine. And this isn’t I don’t want my mom to send me a nasty email. My parents were great parents they just suffer from the same things that everybody suffers from in life. And what about like stay at home moms who teach all their daughters to be thin so they can get a man?

Michelle: Yeah

Gabe: I mean how does that fuck you up?

Michelle: That’s going to.

Gabe: Your whole life is to get married.

Michelle: Did people do that really?

Gabe: I would like to think that it happens less and less now but I read all these articles in the 60s and 70s about whether or not women should go to college if they’re already engaged because after all the number one reason that you should go to college is to get your MRS.

Michelle: I see you’re saying, I got that. You have to give me a second

Gabe: Yeah.

Michelle: And told me it’s like I got that.

Gabe: And these are in a national magazine. This is a discussion that America was having in the middle class and the upper middle class in the 60s and 70s and even into the 80s about a woman’s role. And people didn’t like the idea of women getting jobs and even today in 2019 there is still disparity in the workplace when it comes to pay or power or position or opportunity. So imagine if it’s this way in 2019, imagine how it was in 1950, or 1960, or 1970?

Michelle: Good point.

Gabe: And how does this affect the way that we build our self-esteem up? And then, Michelle, my final points and what this has all been leading to is how do you teach that to somebody like us? You know our parents didn’t know that we had bipolar and schizophrenia. So they just taught us like they taught any normal child, but we didn’t learn or think like normal children.

Michelle: True

Gabe: So they were just fucked.

Michelle: I guess so. I mean I played sports. I was encouraged to play sports and I kept playing because I was told I was good at them. So that’s why I played. And then in high school, playing sports was really my only reason to still continue high school. It was the only thing I had going for me that was fun and something I was good at. The only way I made any friends. It’s kind of the only reason I even went to college really. But.

Gabe: So it sounds like your parents encouraging you to play sports saved your life. I mean maybe not literally but I mean it put you on a better path to get help.

Michelle: It really did. It really did. It did. But you know it’s sports especially at the college level. They’re not easy and it can almost make you struggle more sometimes because it’s just stressful. You work so hard and hard and hard and hard and hard and then you know you can end up losing.

Gabe: Well and there’s another point. What about people who can’t handle the disappointment of loss, or people who get so stressed out about the outcome of the activity that they’re in, whether it be sports or anything else, that they don’t focus on other areas of their life? For example, what if you were so desperate to win a lacrosse championship that you stopped going to class and failed out of college?

Michelle: That’s true. That’s true.

Gabe: And then you wouldn’t have a college degree.

Michelle: Well, yes, I wouldn’t.

Gabe: But you’d have a lacrosse championship. Which is more valuable when you’re 40, lacrosse championship or a college degree?

Michelle: I get you.

Gabe: Some people might say no no no. I wish I could. If I could do it all over again. I would make sure that I won the national championship.

Michelle: Well yes.

Gabe: Like I wouldn’t have done math.

Michelle: Yeah I get it but.

Gabe: To hell with math. Math is awful.

Michelle: That doesn’t really work though because lacrosse is a team sport. So everybody would have had to been doing that. I don’t think I could have possibly worked harder than I worked. I worked as hard as can possibly be. Honestly.

Gabe: But does this mess people up. Does not understanding that you have to pay attention to all areas of your life. This is especially important for people managing mental illness because let’s say that I put all of my energy and focus it only on managing bipolar disorder. Just think about that for a minute. I’m putting all of my time and energy in fighting a disease that is trying to kill me. So this is serious bipolar disorder if left unchecked will kill me. So I put 100 percent of my time into fighting bipolar disorder on one hand, that sounds really good right?

Michelle: Yeah.

Gabe: Yeah but now I don’t take a bath. I don’t do diet or exercise correctly so I’m eating potato chips and smoking and drinking and I don’t get any exercise. So like getting up and walking to the bathroom like I can’t do so I’m just fat and my knees give out by the time I’m 30 because I’m just you know I need a hip replacement at 28 but I’m beating bipolar I guess? Do you think that if I would have only paid attention to my mental health and ignored my physical health that I would be where I am today?

Michelle: Oh absolutely not. I would think they do totally go together.

Gabe: But I don’t think a lot of people realize that. I think a lot of people only especially living with mental illness serious persistent mental illness you know people living with schizophrenia. People living with bipolar disorder or major depression. I think they only pay attention to their mental health and they ignore their physical health and then what happens to them and, Michelle, you understand physical health better than anybody I know.

Michelle: Well yes. Physical health is extremely extremely important in making you feel good about yourself. You mean just being skinny doesn’t automatically mean healthy. You know you have to be somewhat fit but also something that I struggle with is that my whole life I was forced to work out by playing sports. So then you know not being forced to work out anymore is kind of challenging for me. You know I did cross fit for a year because that that kind of workout you’re being told what to do it’s so hard it’s really really intense. But it’s sometimes like let me go work out I’m going to go for a run and I’ll run for 10 minutes and I’m like Oh no one’s forcing me to run right now I can just start walking and then I can go home. Yeah I don’t want to run anymore. This is really easy to quit doing. Yeah.

Gabe: And on the way home you can get an iced coffee.

Michelle: Exactly. Exactly. So it’s like a really weird transition. But I do want to work out. I just the motivation is not like I’m going to get in trouble if I don’t. It’s not like I’m working to be a great lacrosse player anymore. I kind of I’m over that now. I get it. I can’t go back to being a good lacrosse player. I’m too old now and

Gabe: You’re too old? I love how you’re too old. You’re what 30? Oh my God the horror. You’ve just aged out of society you’re basically just waiting to die. Thirty. Oh God no.

Michelle: There’s no pro teams.

Gabe: You know a few weeks ago, you talked about being a mom and now a few weeks later you’re just like I’m done. My dreams are over.

Michelle: Of athleticism.

Gabe: Oh, of athleticism. You mean like being a professional athlete? What about a coach? Oh my God. Could you imagine Michelle as a coach?

Michelle: I was a coach. I was a coach for like two years. I was a coach.

Gabe: Aren’t all the coaches old?

Michelle: You should have seen me on the sidelines, Gabe. You should have seen me on the sidelines. I was a yeller. I was a yeller, you have no idea.

Gabe: You think I have no idea how you’re a yeller?

Michelle: Oh

Gabe: I mean really.

Michelle: But I was a positive person. I never said anything bad. It was all positive

Gabe: Oh how do we get that back?

Michelle: Positive. It was a positive yelling.

Gabe: How do I sign up for that version of Michelle? We’re no longer doing a podcast, we’re playing lacrosse.

Michelle: I would say to my girls, when the other team has the ball, who is the most important girl on the field? Gabe, do you know the answer? When the other team has the ball, who’s the most important person on the field?

Gabe: All of you.

Michelle: The girl with the ball. Duh.

Gabe: Why is she the most important?

Michelle: She has the ball and she’s on the other team. She’s the most important person on the field. Get the ball away from the person on the other team.

Gabe: Why don’t you disrupt the passing lane? Maybe the most important person is the person she’s going to pass the ball to?

Michelle: Ok, so everybody marks up? So OK, OK, Gabe. So everybody will mark up everybody else on field and not the girl with the ball so she can run down the field with the ball to the goal and shoot? Does that make any sense to you, Gabe?

Gabe: When you say the most important person on the field is the person with the ball, it reminds me of like little kids playing soccer where as soon as somebody gets the ball all the players just swarm.

Michelle: No, no, no. What it means is, Gabe, she has to get a mark on her before anyone else gets a mark. That girl needs to be marked up before anyone else gets a mark.

Gabe: And what’s a mark?

Michelle: A man on her.

Gabe: Gotcha. And listen I know nothing about lacrosse. Everybody who listens to the show for more than one episode knows that Michelle is a lacrosse genius and that Gabe is a lacrosse idiot. But here’s why this is so valuable because it Michelle understands the rules of the game and that allows her to play it better. For example everything she just explained I likened to you know children playing soccer but this works so well for Michelle that while she did not win a championship you got it. You got a scholarship, you were in Inside Lacrosse magazine, you were kind of a bad ass.

Michelle: Ok. Well I didn’t get a scholarship but I was in Inside Lacrosse Magazine. Yes I was.

Gabe: All right. So I’m half right. But you enjoyed your time and you’ve also talked about it in terms of how it helped you with managing and getting help with schizophrenia in a way that other things may not have. But that’s all because you paid attention to all of it. You didn’t make assumptions you learned. I want you to put that and I want our listeners to think about the things that they hold deep beliefs on like when they look in the mirror and they say that they’re fat and ugly just because you believe it doesn’t make it true. Michelle, I have no idea if you have gained any weight. I honestly don’t know. And listen we can all stand to be healthier to eat a few more vegetables and to get less iced coffee or drink Diet Coke or not eat Cadbury eggs three months past you know Easter before they podcast. We can all do better but hating your life? Getting up every morning, looking in the mirror, and hating yourself? That’s a mental health issue and it’s something worth addressing.

Michelle: I agree with that one. You don’t want to wake up in the morning hating your life.

Gabe: Especially since mental illness already kind of helps with that, right?

Michelle: Yeah. So you know.

Gabe: We have enough reason to hate our lives.

Michelle: Working on your mental health really does mean working on your physical health as well.

Gabe: I agree.

Michelle: Yeah

Gabe: I agree. And you know what I hate?

Michelle: What?

Gabe: I love how we have mental health and physical health because isn’t mental health your brain? Which is in your body? All mental health is physical health. Just pay attention to your health people. Finally I saw this really great joke online and it made me laugh so hard that I want to share it with you, Michelle.

Michelle: Please do.

Gabe: It said would you take fifty thousand dollars cash if by taking it the person you hate more than anyone else in the world got one hundred thousand dollars? And I thought to myself, why on earth would I pass up a chance to get one hundred and fifty thousand dollars?

Michelle: Now I oh I get it.

Gabe: Michelle, any last words.

Michelle: To all the ladies and gentlemen that are looking at the people in the magazines, it’s completely fake. I used to do it for a living. Those clothes do not fit like that. Those people are not built like that; their skin is not that smooth. Trust me. If you want to get your photos retouched, you can hit me up too. Just letting you know.

Gabe: I love how you hit a plug. All right everybody thanks for tuning in remember wherever you downloaded this podcast if you can leave us as many stars as humanly possible and give us a great review like literally use your words we would appreciate that. Share us, e-mail us, take us to support groups, make your mom and dad listen. This is a very very very friendly crowd. You know for a group of people with mental illness. Finally, go to PsychCentral.com/BSP. Click on the little chalkboard. Ask us your questions. They could appear in a future episode. You can also e-mail us at show@PsychCentral.com and tell us why you love us or why you hate us. We will see everybody next week.

Announcer: You’ve been listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. If you love this episode, don’t keep it to yourself head over to iTunes or your preferred podcast app to subscribe, rate, and review. To work with Gabe, go to GabeHoward.com. To work with Michelle, go to schizophrenic.NYC. For free mental health resources and online support groups, head over to PsychCentral.com. This show’s official web site is PsychCentral.com/BSP. You can e-mail us at show@PsychCentral.com. Thank you for listening, and share widely.

Meet Your Bipolar and Schizophrenic Hosts

GABE HOWARD was formally diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorders after being committed to a psychiatric hospital in 2003. Now in recovery, Gabe is a prominent mental health activist and host of the award-winning Psych Central Show podcast. He is also an award-winning writer and speaker, traveling nationally to share the humorous, yet educational, story of his bipolar life. To work with Gabe, visit gabehoward.com.

  MICHELLE HAMMER was officially diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 22, but incorrectly diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18. Michelle is an award-winning mental health advocate who has been featured in press all over the world. In May 2015, Michelle founded the company Schizophrenic.NYC, a mental health clothing line, with the mission of reducing stigma by starting conversations about mental health. She is a firm believer that confidence can get you anywhere. To work with Michelle, visit Schizophrenic.NYC.

from World of Psychology https://ift.tt/2FIooBU via theshiningmind.com

[airoasis]

"The Mainland" | Father Ted | Series 3 Episode 4 | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/the-mainland-father-ted-series-3-episode-4-dead-parrot/

"The Mainland" | Father Ted | Series 3 Episode 4 | Dead Parrot

Come on Dougal flip off the video okay that’s a quality exhibit though is not it he’s mad at me i do not believe it he mentioned which one were you gazing however we get a form of 1 foot within the grave where you are looking at huh so that you simply completed looking at it don’t recall anything from us i do not suppose it that is what he said hurry up we’re off to the mainland ray why it’s go to the betting shop to collect my winnings 200 pounds and father title writes within the limbo competition cause they don’t know is there anything flawed along with his again and he normally walks like that i do not suppose it whats up JB unnecessary Oh Dougal you higher get that mended there’s a whole factor to Tokyo tank-prime particularly dead i do not think it haha notable yeah can we go to the caves in after we go to the betting store will we go will we please say 5050 we go to the king outstanding go to the cave i do not feel i don’t consider it quality now not now father we’re going to the opticians and rounds kid don’t forget you get you a fine pair of glasses we should all be very cautious on the mainland there may be numerous crime round i’m sanna some muggers in every single place my friend mrs.O’Dwyer was once robbed last week oh no did they get a lot no truth i do not believe you have an understanding of she used to be robbed they stole her horrible factor when an historic individual are not able to even stroll down the avenue for worry of being stolen come on Google I don’t want in the actor me father that you can drop me off right here correct so hi there father evidently howdy mrs. Danube we shot mrs. Janine we will have a bit of a chat there correct so i do know God Google would imagine spending any more time with up Oh 200 significant ones Dougal what Oh God Ted i’m so completely happy the sun’s out and we’re in an optician I don’t know any better than this acquired it I just bear in mind something it is got to have any breakfast we get from it later don’t worry oh god i’m so hungry there’s no development i couldn’t die might I from The hunger i don’t believe so not for a few hours anyway i’m completed now father well I ought to say i’m pressured these eyesight seems to be higher than ever before he learn right all the way down to the very last line and even I are not able to see that one I consider i know what happened you see father Jack has a great fondness for saying that unique word oh I failed to understand endorse unit that I cost definitely I bought a three with a promotional crater Carlsberg hiya you Randy like a plate of chips or a burger a couple of chops i am out of my head with the starvation no i’m going to just get the other chart so what was the great last period answers no suggestion he used to be long past out of the apartment for a few minutes when he got here again they have been long past he cannot appear to maintain on to a pair yo lady you have got got your scar I farted that is going to make the effort very well we are going to head off so come on Google we go to the top pray now father this chart was given to me by savatya most effective lens producers throughout industry you remember this expertise fast she used to be on her method to the shop the other day and a man came over to her and killed her and retailer her pen this is where they believe so they’re maintaining her in for assessments good you understand what occurred instructed mr.Candy some younger fellas broke into his apartment and began messing with him and for the reason that of rock on him Oh God negative mr. Sweeney he wasn’t like this at all I heard the world over 200 cases of forced transvestitism worried in the city last year what’s the world coming to something proper now a further be taught this used to be its director ooh kiddo yes your man from one foot within the grave dee I do think it man oh good that’s effective looks from there you understand he’d be aware of what recognize so he came as much as me and stated his catchphrase oh yeah he is your fuck you must without doubt do that though oh yeah I said no person ever does that who you believe you’re hilarious you already know this is this sort of times once I certainly a hundred million percent certain that you just’d be doing the right factor i will be able to say should you say you without doubt obviously won’t remorse doing that i’m going to do it jail we’re like yeah go on holy hey good what did he say did ya no snow no nothing i am going to sit down now oh god no I could by no means be a kind of have a gauzy euros I didn’t be aware of my historic straight I heard it on snap after which it was once just a case of mendacity on high of them except the hills too proper we higher be off mrs.Doyle I get it oh no mrs. Chickenfoot by the way I get it no nods don’t be silly I think you will not put that away now do not be stupid mrs. Doyle no no no no now just put your money away you’re mad no no no no I reckon that stage I was once consuming over a pint of vodka a day sure yes all I would feel about was once where the next drink was coming from drink I failed to give a damn about my wife our youngsters yeah no with your whole support i’m coming through it i’m simply taking it at some point at a time thanks Ronald now I notice that we’ve a brand new member of the workforce with us in these days Heather would you love to tell us your story satisfactory proper unusual to let all of it out great it’s so actual so proper and this right right here is surely granite how lengthy would that be there Oh many thousands of years relatively as long as that some judges fascination how come all the rocks are one of a kind sizes that we all know what stated on the whole one-of-a-kind size good how discovering there are all kinds of things I in no way knew about rock of path at the time most of this whole field would have been submerged underwater how did everyone breed a couple of reason all right Wow look at that rock over there well this is absolutely the oldest part of us or at this specified table shaped greater than fifteen million years in the past oh wow i’m going to open it up a little early to say so that is okay that’s okay so long as i don’t must hear that bloody catchphrase again oh i will certainly got here on this right k i am so hungry i’m starting to hallucinate and do adult exaggeration and discontinue worrying we get a human let’s slide this way will you do the fandango about the lightning very very horrifying me gallileo gallileo figaro Magnifico oh i am only a bad boy no one loves me but from a negative household say from his existence from this monstrosity effortless come easy go will you let me go fast no let me go – Mila with just a little procedure oh no no no no no no no no no individuals on the desk to make a decision for me for me for me as I was once saying I feel the object to do is to try and in finding an exit before the caves closed for the night good proposal Charla how long have you ever been in right here two days now father I consider it’s two days we have now been having a fine laugh Maya I just think that is it truely everybody would like to get out of here and get some instances get residence okay screech the loudest let’s have a screeching competitors as Albert JP is your purpose I received ample father oh go on aah easy I particularly believe we must believe about looking to get editor Oh God possibly you’re right we do not get out we write up the convenient each and every other there’s no place like that cinema live with an enthalpy in money after which the bees all their neighbors seem amazing Tony don’t when you go oh no get off me i am now not useless yet hello pickle boy but i am hungry Tony i am gonna tackle oh no go we go together with your he would not you Tony ha ha sure Tony’s dance good my feet Tony why did you return it concept it used to be our only Son today i guess the funeral cannot be going some hoops is healthier to not my shut up shut up shut up shut up what good I’ve in no way I’ve under no circumstances Tony i am putting you on my list of enemies there you are in entrance now Tony ah Holies k so am i able to learn you miss me come on let the feminist with a screeching competition to intend I do see Glover go go on is handy ah I quite wouldn’t try this no ah it wasn’t me and harbor token and but consider would not you that anybody like criticism used to be extra enjoying round with the likes of honor and you’d be proper he did not wish to hand your hours of the intention good day i go mad yes sorry no rather not worried about being trapped under that massive pile of rocks discontinue it is all she want you here to keep me company and the most up-to-date group might be back which ends with any moment they say they were just going to seek out the tour advisor 10 mi was once buried beneath a gigantic pile of rocks and are available correct again that’s four tickets to Paraguay however I favored English nation’s very complicated and a long way fetched and very very boring that is my style of movie I just like the piano as good did you see Harvey Keitel walking around within the meat one can find that shit hate leaving those we’re doing a no just right sitting around taking note of him screech please please be trustworthy onto that huge pile of rock let’s let’s get ourselves that we are able to worry about no then God where is that this anger tank of eternity can reduce a woman’s bra it’s after unraveling oh my god dougela we are able to to find our approach backwards you have undoubtedly snagged on something if we use this we will give you the chance out appear like God circles with me out no time should you be willing to get off like that or should we not be following it what well what use will or not it’s when you’re finished winding it all achieved don’t feel us correct French thanks thanks the indoor father I will not mean you can do it I know it hurts but believe me you’re going to thank oh thanks excuse me there is any person buried point out he’s alright however I fairly suppose you should get somebody in there rapidly thanks please hurry come on do ladies wish to get away before the rescue come on to the relaxer or food to be right here in a minute hey hiya is that father trillion yes this is him we’ve got been seeking to contact you all night time are you aware a mrs.Dyle first identify mrs. Choi do i do know a mrs. Joy sure yes sir she’s our housekeeper well i would like you to return all the way down to the police station she’s been in a spot of drawback listening if there’s a pleasant or something i know come on Dewey Huckabee eita father Jack out of jail i am very very sorry you should not have a lasagna or a fowl courier no ok good might be I simply have a bag of chips and i might have a fan tour injured wealthy did you know the place you might be there is a police station correct and if that’s the case i will just have the bird satay and Pinot I just hope you don’t think this sort of factor goes on always we’re now not all criminals and troublemakers in the church you already know i’m hoping this is not going to put you off going to mass i am a Protestant surely father rather the straight option father he does they pay a 200-pound plane or they spend the night in the cells well I shouldn’t have that sort of money on me she’s probably in the situations and great in the cells perhaps the simpler alternative off to go hiya it will be quieter I was once simply all proper all proper right here here here is your blood cash but just let me say this there used to be a time when the police on this nation have been acquaintances of the church do not driving bills cost parking tickets or no longer even a blind eye to the odd murder but now almost convinced I gave them the money why don’t you do what presupposed to one of the crucial pleasant good I did they’re pleased once again you could have made me appear like the whole extra frontal real people thank you so much correct to be sincere head I forgot I had the money I was once going to claim your fly’s open god – what did I say there’s at all times challenge for me go to the mainland I have got to make a ordinary under no circumstances ever going again there once more on that is totally unavoidable which it isn’t sadly you and bassam’s ladies they make the Rockies

[batterymonster2021]

"The Mainland" | Father Ted | Series 3 Episode 4 | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/the-mainland-father-ted-series-3-episode-4-dead-parrot/

"The Mainland" | Father Ted | Series 3 Episode 4 | Dead Parrot

Come on Dougal flip off the video okay that’s a quality exhibit though is not it he’s mad at me i do not believe it he mentioned which one were you gazing however we get a form of 1 foot within the grave where you are looking at huh so that you simply completed looking at it don’t recall anything from us i do not suppose it that is what he said hurry up we’re off to the mainland ray why it’s go to the betting shop to collect my winnings 200 pounds and father title writes within the limbo competition cause they don’t know is there anything flawed along with his again and he normally walks like that i do not suppose it whats up JB unnecessary Oh Dougal you higher get that mended there’s a whole factor to Tokyo tank-prime particularly dead i do not think it haha notable yeah can we go to the caves in after we go to the betting store will we go will we please say 5050 we go to the king outstanding go to the cave i do not feel i don’t consider it quality now not now father we’re going to the opticians and rounds kid don’t forget you get you a fine pair of glasses we should all be very cautious on the mainland there may be numerous crime round i’m sanna some muggers in every single place my friend mrs.O’Dwyer was once robbed last week oh no did they get a lot no truth i do not believe you have an understanding of she used to be robbed they stole her horrible factor when an historic individual are not able to even stroll down the avenue for worry of being stolen come on Google I don’t want in the actor me father that you can drop me off right here correct so hi there father evidently howdy mrs. Danube we shot mrs. Janine we will have a bit of a chat there correct so i do know God Google would imagine spending any more time with up Oh 200 significant ones Dougal what Oh God Ted i’m so completely happy the sun’s out and we’re in an optician I don’t know any better than this acquired it I just bear in mind something it is got to have any breakfast we get from it later don’t worry oh god i’m so hungry there’s no development i couldn’t die might I from The hunger i don’t believe so not for a few hours anyway i’m completed now father well I ought to say i’m pressured these eyesight seems to be higher than ever before he learn right all the way down to the very last line and even I are not able to see that one I consider i know what happened you see father Jack has a great fondness for saying that unique word oh I failed to understand endorse unit that I cost definitely I bought a three with a promotional crater Carlsberg hiya you Randy like a plate of chips or a burger a couple of chops i am out of my head with the starvation no i’m going to just get the other chart so what was the great last period answers no suggestion he used to be long past out of the apartment for a few minutes when he got here again they have been long past he cannot appear to maintain on to a pair yo lady you have got got your scar I farted that is going to make the effort very well we are going to head off so come on Google we go to the top pray now father this chart was given to me by savatya most effective lens producers throughout industry you remember this expertise fast she used to be on her method to the shop the other day and a man came over to her and killed her and retailer her pen this is where they believe so they’re maintaining her in for assessments good you understand what occurred instructed mr.Candy some younger fellas broke into his apartment and began messing with him and for the reason that of rock on him Oh God negative mr. Sweeney he wasn’t like this at all I heard the world over 200 cases of forced transvestitism worried in the city last year what’s the world coming to something proper now a further be taught this used to be its director ooh kiddo yes your man from one foot within the grave dee I do think it man oh good that’s effective looks from there you understand he’d be aware of what recognize so he came as much as me and stated his catchphrase oh yeah he is your fuck you must without doubt do that though oh yeah I said no person ever does that who you believe you’re hilarious you already know this is this sort of times once I certainly a hundred million percent certain that you just’d be doing the right factor i will be able to say should you say you without doubt obviously won’t remorse doing that i’m going to do it jail we’re like yeah go on holy hey good what did he say did ya no snow no nothing i am going to sit down now oh god no I could by no means be a kind of have a gauzy euros I didn’t be aware of my historic straight I heard it on snap after which it was once just a case of mendacity on high of them except the hills too proper we higher be off mrs.Doyle I get it oh no mrs. Chickenfoot by the way I get it no nods don’t be silly I think you will not put that away now do not be stupid mrs. Doyle no no no no now just put your money away you’re mad no no no no I reckon that stage I was once consuming over a pint of vodka a day sure yes all I would feel about was once where the next drink was coming from drink I failed to give a damn about my wife our youngsters yeah no with your whole support i’m coming through it i’m simply taking it at some point at a time thanks Ronald now I notice that we’ve a brand new member of the workforce with us in these days Heather would you love to tell us your story satisfactory proper unusual to let all of it out great it’s so actual so proper and this right right here is surely granite how lengthy would that be there Oh many thousands of years relatively as long as that some judges fascination how come all the rocks are one of a kind sizes that we all know what stated on the whole one-of-a-kind size good how discovering there are all kinds of things I in no way knew about rock of path at the time most of this whole field would have been submerged underwater how did everyone breed a couple of reason all right Wow look at that rock over there well this is absolutely the oldest part of us or at this specified table shaped greater than fifteen million years in the past oh wow i’m going to open it up a little early to say so that is okay that’s okay so long as i don’t must hear that bloody catchphrase again oh i will certainly got here on this right k i am so hungry i’m starting to hallucinate and do adult exaggeration and discontinue worrying we get a human let’s slide this way will you do the fandango about the lightning very very horrifying me gallileo gallileo figaro Magnifico oh i am only a bad boy no one loves me but from a negative household say from his existence from this monstrosity effortless come easy go will you let me go fast no let me go – Mila with just a little procedure oh no no no no no no no no no individuals on the desk to make a decision for me for me for me as I was once saying I feel the object to do is to try and in finding an exit before the caves closed for the night good proposal Charla how long have you ever been in right here two days now father I consider it’s two days we have now been having a fine laugh Maya I just think that is it truely everybody would like to get out of here and get some instances get residence okay screech the loudest let’s have a screeching competitors as Albert JP is your purpose I received ample father oh go on aah easy I particularly believe we must believe about looking to get editor Oh God possibly you’re right we do not get out we write up the convenient each and every other there’s no place like that cinema live with an enthalpy in money after which the bees all their neighbors seem amazing Tony don’t when you go oh no get off me i am now not useless yet hello pickle boy but i am hungry Tony i am gonna tackle oh no go we go together with your he would not you Tony ha ha sure Tony’s dance good my feet Tony why did you return it concept it used to be our only Son today i guess the funeral cannot be going some hoops is healthier to not my shut up shut up shut up shut up what good I’ve in no way I’ve under no circumstances Tony i am putting you on my list of enemies there you are in entrance now Tony ah Holies k so am i able to learn you miss me come on let the feminist with a screeching competition to intend I do see Glover go go on is handy ah I quite wouldn’t try this no ah it wasn’t me and harbor token and but consider would not you that anybody like criticism used to be extra enjoying round with the likes of honor and you’d be proper he did not wish to hand your hours of the intention good day i go mad yes sorry no rather not worried about being trapped under that massive pile of rocks discontinue it is all she want you here to keep me company and the most up-to-date group might be back which ends with any moment they say they were just going to seek out the tour advisor 10 mi was once buried beneath a gigantic pile of rocks and are available correct again that’s four tickets to Paraguay however I favored English nation’s very complicated and a long way fetched and very very boring that is my style of movie I just like the piano as good did you see Harvey Keitel walking around within the meat one can find that shit hate leaving those we’re doing a no just right sitting around taking note of him screech please please be trustworthy onto that huge pile of rock let’s let’s get ourselves that we are able to worry about no then God where is that this anger tank of eternity can reduce a woman’s bra it’s after unraveling oh my god dougela we are able to to find our approach backwards you have undoubtedly snagged on something if we use this we will give you the chance out appear like God circles with me out no time should you be willing to get off like that or should we not be following it what well what use will or not it’s when you’re finished winding it all achieved don’t feel us correct French thanks thanks the indoor father I will not mean you can do it I know it hurts but believe me you’re going to thank oh thanks excuse me there is any person buried point out he’s alright however I fairly suppose you should get somebody in there rapidly thanks please hurry come on do ladies wish to get away before the rescue come on to the relaxer or food to be right here in a minute hey hiya is that father trillion yes this is him we’ve got been seeking to contact you all night time are you aware a mrs.Dyle first identify mrs. Choi do i do know a mrs. Joy sure yes sir she’s our housekeeper well i would like you to return all the way down to the police station she’s been in a spot of drawback listening if there’s a pleasant or something i know come on Dewey Huckabee eita father Jack out of jail i am very very sorry you should not have a lasagna or a fowl courier no ok good might be I simply have a bag of chips and i might have a fan tour injured wealthy did you know the place you might be there is a police station correct and if that’s the case i will just have the bird satay and Pinot I just hope you don’t think this sort of factor goes on always we’re now not all criminals and troublemakers in the church you already know i’m hoping this is not going to put you off going to mass i am a Protestant surely father rather the straight option father he does they pay a 200-pound plane or they spend the night in the cells well I shouldn’t have that sort of money on me she’s probably in the situations and great in the cells perhaps the simpler alternative off to go hiya it will be quieter I was once simply all proper all proper right here here here is your blood cash but just let me say this there used to be a time when the police on this nation have been acquaintances of the church do not driving bills cost parking tickets or no longer even a blind eye to the odd murder but now almost convinced I gave them the money why don’t you do what presupposed to one of the crucial pleasant good I did they’re pleased once again you could have made me appear like the whole extra frontal real people thank you so much correct to be sincere head I forgot I had the money I was once going to claim your fly’s open god – what did I say there’s at all times challenge for me go to the mainland I have got to make a ordinary under no circumstances ever going again there once more on that is totally unavoidable which it isn’t sadly you and bassam’s ladies they make the Rockies

[rebeccahpedersen]

More MLS Musings!

TorontoRealtyBlog

This is slowly becoming a tradition; emptying my entire “Musings” folder into one epic blog post at year’s end.

That’s not to say that these are by any means “leftovers,” but rather I often try to come up with a “theme” in my MLS Musings, and sometimes, those really great pics waiting in the queue just continue to wait, and then wait some more.

If you’re a long-time reader, you know the things that really irk me.

Blurry photos, photos with people in them or reflections of the photographers, photos of inanimate objects like the microwave or a plant, bad staging, sideways photos, etc.

Then there’s all the craziness that doesn’t irk me, but puts a smile on my face.  Agents that are too lazy to visit the property, so they screenshot a Google Maps image of the house, or how about the insane things that agents will write in the MLS description?

I hate it all.  And I love it all at the same time.

So today, let me regale you with everything that I have left, and see if I can fit these into some themed sections…

–

First, let’s start with the MLS write-ups, shall we?

Call me a stickler for the details, but this is a classic example of inventing a phrase for your own benefit:

What is an “open concept, one-bedroom” anyways?

Is that anything like……………..geez……………..I dunno………………a bachelor condo?

Maybe!

Let’s take a look at the photo from this “Open Concept One Bedroom”

Well, I’m no real estate expert, but that is a bachelor condo.

Maybe this is all part of that trend toward not “labelling” people anymore.  Like callling the homeless, “housing-challenged.”

–

Here’s another gem, although this one is a bit more honest:

True.

This unit does have an “unobstructed city view.”

For now…

But you could literally put a timer to this “unobstructed view.”

It looks to me like……..maybe………..another six months…

–

Tell me if you immediately understand this reference:

If you do, great.  We can hang out.

If not, then you’re too old, or too young.

And no, I’m not going to tell you.

But in a related story, we had a class called “Vocal Music” in 1991 when I was in Grade-6, and Mr. Isman told me we would sing the lyrics to any song that I transcribed.  So I wrote out all the lyrics to Sir Mix Alot’s “Baby Got Back,” and the poor teacher had no choice…

–

What a-hole wrote this, honestly?

I understand “marketing.”  Yes.

But aren’t you driving away 99% of the buyer pool to catch 1%?

And this listing wasn’t anything special, nor was it screaming “cool, single guy.”

They would have caught far more flies with honey, in my opinion…

–

If this is actually permissible, then why do we even have listing agents?

–

Screw single people, right?

–

Before you suggest that this is a relgious thing, I can assure you there was nothing religious-sounding about the agent’s name.  Just sayin’.

Maybe it’s just an agent whos’ being honest?

–

This is just really, really overselling…

This was at 1 Bloor, by the way.  I get that 1 Bloor is “expenisve,” but that doesn’t make it luxurious, elegant, world-class, etc.

I’m so tired of people equating over-priced, expensive things as automatically being worth it.

–

Jesus!

How high is this condo?

No seriously, it’s not on the 188th floor of a Mimico or Oakville waterfront condo.

It’s on Homewood, near the Keg Mansion…

–

Is this meant to be facetious?

Spectacular view of the QEW?  Is this a language barrier, sarcasm, or somebody that really believes looking at a highway is a selling feature?

Why not come up with some choice others?

“Fantastic sound of garbage chute at all hours of the day.”

“Wonderful smell of sewage plant.”

“Splendid taste of lead in kitchen tap water.”

–

How about some epic staging fails?

Let’s start with……hmmmm….

….ah, this one!

I’m a minimalist by nature, but that’s a little too bare for my liking.

–

One of the most difficult parts of an agent’s job is to show prospective buyers what various rooms are for.

Like, the kitchen!  What do you do in there?  Gymnastics?  How in the world is somebody supposed to know that you cook in there?

Same goes for, say, a closet.

That’s why it’s so important to stage a closet with three hanging shirts…

–

Awesome outdoor space!

That turquoise rug really ties the space together!

Except…………how do you get in the garage, which is advertised as the parking space on the listing?

–

How about some design, layout, and feature fails?

I understand the “beer fridge” in the man-cave.

And I have a mini-fridge in my office.

But this just looks a wee bit out of place…

–

By the same token, I think this “renovated kitchen” as described in the listing might have benefitted from an architect, designer, and child with a ruler and calculator:

I guess nobody ever uses the staircase to the basement?

–

For this next one, let me say that I’m biased.  I’m a huge fan of outdoor spaces.

I’m also a salesman, so let me put a positive spin on this….

….”Things like sunlight, air, space, and not feeling like you’re in an outdoor prison cell are overrated!”

–

Wine cellars are awesome!

It’s a great way for people who know nothing about wine to pretend that they, in fact, do.

It’s also the perfect place to store rainwater in your new $4,000,000 house…

–

This might be the saddest 2-person dinner table I have ever seen:

–

Now how about some people in our lives?

This one isn’t that bad, is it?

Either the owner locking up, while the Realtor takes a photo.

Or a Realtor-Realtor team showing that two heads are better than one.

Except, for the fact that this is the feature photo in a listing that has eight photos:

–

This one looks really suspicious.  If the agent was taking a photo, and this really is his listing, then why didn’t he wait until the owner and her friend left the front door?

–

This one looks as though it’s by design:

But is there something I’m missing here?

Is this like showing the water flowing out of the kitchen faucet, like, “This is Todd, and Todd is opening the balcony door to let air flow into the condo.”

Is it part of the marketing?  Well-dressed dude-bro lurking out over Liberty Village Parking lot, in front of large wall-art that his designer bought for him?

–

Beautiful house here, but can you see the owner inside?

–

I’m fairly certain this is a mannequin, and not a real person.

But either way, just……..whyyy?

–

And last but not least, are we really putting people out front of the house……….in artist’s renderings now?

–

Go ahead, be the person that says, “Buyers will look past it.  Buyers aren’t looking at my stuff, or the colour of the walls.”

Tell me I’m wrong to clean, paint, and stage every one of my listings.

Then tell me you think this is the best way to showcase a condo:

–

How about a couple of photo arrays?

This is the very definition of “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

It’s the same photo, three times.

We get it.  The sun sets in the east…

–

As for the next one, at least they got 3 of 8 right.

I’m pretty sure in today’s public school system, that’s a passing grade!

–

And last, but certainly not least, I don’t know what it was about this photo, it just really made me laugh.

I could call this a “staging fail,” or a classic “design flaw.”

This could be like the fridge in the living room, or the fridge blocking the stairs.

It could be like a giant statue in the front foyer.

Whatever it is, I just can’t help but wonder why the agent didn’t think to mention this to the seller.

I also laugh picturing myself working out while my family eats dinner, so I can’t be accused of “not spending family time” with them.

Seriously, I can picture it.

I’m on the stairmaster, my wife and kids are having dinner, and I’m panting while talking to them.

“Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh…..Billy………eat your peas…..heh, heh, heh, heh, heh………don’t talk back to your mother………”

I would try my hardest not to flick sweat in their mashed potatoes, but I’m a big sweater when I workout.  If I’m not dripping, I’m not working hard enough.

I can see something like the above in my future.

Thanks to everybody who submitted a photo or listing caption for MLS Musings over the past year, and I encourage you to do the same in 2019.

Coming up next week, it’s my annual tradition: Top-5 Blog Posts of 2018, followed by Top-Five Real Estate Stories of 2019.

Have a great weekend!

The post More MLS Musings! appeared first on Toronto Realty Blog.

Originated from https://ift.tt/2UJVuaj

[trendingnewsb]

6 Famous TV Finales Everybody Gets Wrong

With the exception of those soap operas that will outlive our grandchildren, most TV shows eventually come to an end. Final episodes tend to be polarizing; you either love them, or you vow to spend the rest of your days destroying the bastards who created them. The thing is, if you look back at those episodes with a cool head, you might realize that the critical consensus had it all backwards. So before we all realize reality only exists within a snow globe, here are some alternate views on the most famous (and infamous) TV finales ever.

6

Breaking Bad — A Child-Poisoning Psycho Becomes A Superhero

Unless you had a relative who got half their face blown off in a senior living home explosion, chances are you loved Breaking Bad. As for the finale, the critics lapped it up like the blue stuff:

The last episode served to provide emotional closure for beloved protagonist Walter White — you know, that guy who poisons kids and casually watches women choke to death. Which raises a question: Do we want this guy to get a happy ending?

The ending works out so incredibly well for Walt that people have theorized that it’s a fantasy, or even that he’s dead and becomes a ghost (which would at least explain his ability to Patrick Swayze his way into people’s homes). The episode is basically nothing but Walt running through a checklist of shit he wants to do before he dies. It’s one wisecracking Morgan Freeman away from going full Bucket List. And we’re rooting for him the whole way, even when he scares the shit out of the ex-friends whom he (falsely) blames for his misfortunes.

Walt then visits Skyler — again, almost materializing out of thin air — and admits to her that he didn’t cook meth for his family. He did it because he “liked it.”

Which feels like a big moment, but it’s not really enough. Walt’s such a jerk that he can’t even muster an apology for years of lying and making his family the target of a murderous fried chicken restaurateur. For some reason, though, this is good enough for Skyler, who then lets Walt have a tender moment with their baby. You know, the one he once abducted. Even Ted Danson and Steve Guttenberg couldn’t make this not creepy.

Then comes the show’s big moment: Walt has to save Jesse, which involves fighting Nazis. Even if you hate Walt, between him and Nazis … well, what kind of asshole would root for the Nazis? So Walt gets to be the badass hero in the end.

One reviewer at Salon points out that while the creators talked about the show as the “transformation from Mr. Chips to Scarface,” Tony Montana actually got his comeuppance. Walt, on the other hand, gets to go out completely on his own terms. He’s practically smiling as he dies before the police can arrest him.

Walt martyrs himself and escapes punishment, which is a big problem if you think his transgressions were beyond the point of redemption. Of course, if you believe he then wakes up on the set of Malcolm In The Middle, a lot of these problems go away.

5

Friends — Ross Ruins Rachel’s Career, While Monica Wrecks Joey And Chandler’s Friendship

People seemingly loved the Friends finale, either because they thought it was a good capper to the beloved sitcom or because everything pre-Joey seems like goddamn Faulkner in comparison.

Read Next

The Plaza Hotel Offers A Home Alone 2 Experience… Finally?

The finale finds Rachel leaving New York for a dream fashion job in Paris, and Ross suddenly remembering that the only reason people ever liked him was that he was in love with her, so he asks her to stay with him. Ross never suggests he could go with her to Paris; he only wants Rachel to abandon this promising career opportunity and go back to unemployment. The finale wants us to root for Rachel to torpedo her professional life and stay with Ross, who treats her like garbage. To make matters worse, the reason they broke up in the first place was Ross’ crazed jealousy that she was working with a man. So Ross’ desire to have Rachel back romantically is also tied into his desire to have her reject her career ambitions — which, in case you didn’t realize, is fucking terrible.

In the end, she gives up the job for Ross, who’s such a piece of shit he can’t even go 30 seconds without making a joke about the time he cheated on her. Class act, that Ross.

Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler adopt twins and move away from the city … despite the fact that they both work in the city, all their friends live in the city, and they pay practically nothing in rent. In the episode’s most problematic bit of symbolism, the second half of the finale finds Chandler and Joey having to break open their Foosball table because a baby chick crawled inside. It seems the actors’ paychecks were so costly at this point that having a small bird crawl into some gaming equipment was the biggest setpiece they could afford.

They can’t break the table, because it’s a symbol of their years of friendship and youth. So Monica steps in and gleefully demolishes it.

So the message they’re sending here is that women and families will literally break apart your friendships. In the world of Friends, apparently you can’t get married, have kids, and retain your friendships from your 20s; you have to move far away and metaphorically destroy them. If they did a reunion show, it’d be Joey and Chandler awkwardly pretending they didn’t see each other at the mall.

4

Seinfeld — The Last Episode Is A Brilliant Existential Allegory

A lot of people really hated the Seinfeld finale, as evidenced by this moment from David Letterman’s own last episode in which Jerry Seinfeld’s soul seemingly breaks in half:

But unlike the rest of the series, the finale isn’t about nothing; it’s about death. They aren’t even subtle about it. The episode begins with the gang aboard a crashing plane, confronting their own mortality:

And from a meta perspective, these characters are about to die, because their show is ending. Then, at the last minute, the plane rights itself and lands in a small town straight out of The Twilight Zone. In keeping with the cosmic otherworldliness of this town, the four friends are immediately confronted with a moral quandary, a test: help a guy being mugged, or do nothing but make wise-ass comments. Being New Yorkers, they go for the latter.

The gang is then arrested and put on trial for failing to be “Good Samaritans” — meaning that the subject of the trial is the very worthiness of their souls. Interestingly, the judge’s name is Art Vandelay, George’s go-to pseudonym for his elaborate deceptions. This isn’t just a throwaway joke; it’s a sign that this trial isn’t a random bit of happenstance. It’s the Universe reflecting these characters’ moral ineptitude back at them. Their disregard for humanity has been made manifest and is here to judge them, and those who have been wronged throughout the show’s wacky adventures state their cases.

Like Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, Vandelay is judging the characters for their behavior throughout their televised lives. Aside from when How I Met Your Mother ended and caused viewers to abandon any belief in a higher power, how many sitcoms have dared to delve into existential themes like this? Some have even pointed to literary masterpieces such as Camus’ The Stranger and Kafka’s The Trial as possible influences on the ending.

But then, instead of passing peacefully into the metaphorical afterlife, the characters are found guilty and jailed in a kind of TV purgatory. In an amazingly depressing final note, the first line from the very first episode …

… becomes the (next-to) last line of the finale.

Meaning that these characters have exhausted the superficial manner by which they’ve led their lives. There’s nothing left. They will either need to begin a search for substantive meaning, or they are doomed to get caught in an endless spiral of empty repetition. And Newman’s probably the Devil or something. We’re still working on that.

3

Mad Men — The Final Scene Renders Don’s Journey Of Self-Discovery Pointless

Mad Men is undoubtedly one of the greatest TV shows of all time, and for sure the greatest TV show to feature a lawnmower running over a man’s foot at an office party. Critics loved the last episode almost as much as the Sterling Cooper gang loved guzzling whiskey and napping during work hours:

Rolling Stones

New Yorker

Chicago Sun TimesLawnmower Quarterly also gave it a glowing review, despite the “disappointing lack of lawnmowers.”

The finale finds Don Draper in the middle of an existential crisis. After conversations with his daughter, dying ex-wife, and best friend / former protegee don’t really evoke any meaningful change, Don gets dragged to a support group, where he ends up hugging it out with a random dude.

In the end, we see Don meditating on a hilltop … but then he smiles, either because he’s had a brilliant idea or he’s thinking about that time Pete Campbell fell down the stairs. It’s the former, since we then cut to the famous “I’d Like To Buy The World A Coke” commercial:

The implication here is that Don took the goodwill and earnestness of the hippie movement that embraced him in a moment of need, then repackaged it as a way to sell brown sugar water — and this is supposed to be a good thing. At a speaking engagement days after the finale, the show’s creator, Matthew Weiner, praised the Coke ad for its racial progressiveness, saying “it’s the best ad ever made, and it comes from a very good place.” They even handed out free Coke bottles to the audience, before presumably breaking into a singalong.

The problem is that Don’s flaws were always presented as a living embodiment of the duplicitous nature of advertising. He had all of the superficial components of a happy life, but was riddled with misery and vice. We loved watching Don Draper because he’s the victim of his own bullshit. The opening titles feature a figure helplessly plunging through an abyss of commercialism:

It always sort of seemed like if Don were to grow as a character, it would be accompanied by a rejection of the advertising industry. Instead, Don used a bunch of peace-loving hippies to help promote a corporation that would later dole out the largest settlement in a racial discrimination lawsuit, (allegedly) cause a drought in India, and get boycotted for (allegedly) hiring militias to murder people. So thanks a lot, Don Draper.

2

The Sopranos — Tony Didn’t Die, But Will Simply Be An Asshole Forever

It was one of the most talked-about endings of all time. Tony Soprano is in a diner with his family, when all of a sudden the image cuts to black. What happened? Was Tony killed? Did the cable go out? Did an extra accidentally wander in front of the camera?

But what if that final moment was about something else entirely? The black screen plays out for like ten seconds. Maybe this isn’t merely to mess with the audience. It’s communicating that Tony’s story isn’t necessarily over, but we’re not invited to watch anymore. It’s less about what happened to Tony, and more to do with why the show won’t have any audience anymore. Why is that?

Well, one of the most important structural elements people overlook when discussing the ending is Tony’s therapy. Tony’s journey with self-analysis is essentially what bookends the show. The very first scene of the first episode is Tony arriving at Dr. Melfi’s office …

… and crucially, the penultimate episode finds Tony being thrown out of the office and telling Dr. Melfi off.

This framing device underscores the reason this particular period of time in Tony’s life is the time we spend with him on the show. The Sopranos takes place within a window during which Tony had the potential for change and self-analysis. And in case you didn’t notice, Tony didn’t blossom into a beautiful flower, as evidenced by, say, the time he roughed up his suicidal son for crying. With his therapy at an end and his family’s lives ruined, Tony is going to continue being a piece of shit — or die, it doesn’t really matter. Because the show hasn’t been following Tony. It’s been following Tony’s capacity for growth. Once that has been effectively eradicated, the show is over. He will keep lying to himself and his family. Nothing to see here, folks, just another violent philanderer who lacks self-reflection. It cuts to black as if the video feed to his psyche has been severed. Or someone shot him in the head, it’s hard to say.

1

OK, Here’s A Go-For-Broke Defense Of The Lost Finale

The Lost finale has plenty of detractors. George R.R. Martin famously crapped all over it, and when Breaking Bad‘s last episode aired, jerks Tweet-bombed Lost showrunner Damon Lindelof to say “That’s how it’s done.”

The most common complaint is that the finale didn’t answer any of the show’s mysteries. But as we’ve pointed out, they did. You just had to watch the damn show. Which lots of the finale’s viewers didn’t. Based on the ratings, around a third of the final episode’s audience likely hadn’t watched Lost in years, but were curious to see if the Island would be revealed to be computer game being played by Hitler or something.

Also, despite the fact that people are still confused about this, the characters weren’t dead the whole time. Those eerie shots of the original plane crash’s empty wreckage they showed during the end credits?

Yeah, those were thrown in by the network as a “visual aid” to transition from the show into the nightly news, with no input from the actual writers. They mean nothing.

Now, the characters were dead during the final season’s “Flash Sideways” sequences, which were set in a bizarre magical purgatory that had nothing to do with the show’s established mythology … or did it? The last moment of the finale finds the characters being absorbed in a white Hallmark-y glowing light:

The same kind of light has been used throughout the show to represent the Island’s electromagnetic energy, like when Desmond blows up the Hatch. Hell, the “heart” of the Island is seemingly half urine, half white light. So what if this dimension the characters find themselves in isn’t separate from the Island’s powers? Throughout the show, a lot of stuff people wanted magically appeared on the Island, be it a horse, or food, or even a crapload of smuggled heroin. Wish fulfillment seemed to be the Island’s ultimate power.

Now, the sideways universe only appeared in the last season, after Juliet detonated a nuke from inside a pocket of that energy. She was trying desperately to create an alternate timeline where the plane never crashed.

Her last words? “It worked.” So the result of that action was a false reality created by the Island wherein Juliet and everyone else is granted their innermost desires. The finale may be sappy, but when you boil it down, it’s a pretty damn dark sci-fi story. Our beloved characters have to reject their personal fantasies and abandon a false reality to embrace their own deaths. Of course, this all played out in a church, which kind of felt like the TV equivalent of answering your doorbell and having a Jesus pamphlet shoved in your face.

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter, or check out the podcast Rewatchability.

If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Or sign up for our Subscription Service for exclusive content, an ad-free experience, and more.

Read more: http://ift.tt/2A9WEV1

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2CJjRix via Viral News HQ