#malay nyo andito din forever nyo charot

[cxymercado]

I can still remember the early days of Tumblr so vividly like it was just yesterday. I remember coming home from school at around 5 pm, just to immediately climb up the stairs, change to my pambahay in less than 10 seconds, crumple my uniform, add it to the already pile of clothes in the corner of my room, plop down my chair facing my 10-inch red samsung netbook which served as my prized posession back then, and then finally open tumblr faster than a lightning bolt.

I remember the sleepless nights as if they were normal. I remember my mom checking up on me at 3 in the morning, expecting me to be snoozing, but finds me hunchbacked and noisily typing through the keyboard instead (like what I’m doing right now), with at least 2 empty coffee mugs in front of me that were either left from the night before and/or had been drunk at the same time. I remember her scolding me and telling me I have school the next day as if I wasn’t aware, and then after saving a draft I would finally decide to sleep just about 3 hours before I’m supposed to wake up. I also remember regretting it the morning after but ends up doing it again. It was like that 7 nights a week  — a routine I didn’t know I religiously followed.

I’ve always liked people, making friends, and being actually nice to them. But halfway through my teenage years, I realized that most people didn’t really see me as “friend material”. I figured out I wasn’t pretty enough, nor smart enough, nor funny enough to be of people’s interest. I was mundane. Not that it bothered me though. I remember not caring any less.

And then I eventually discovered Tumblr. Blogging was the initial platform but in reality, it’s a community —  a haven for socially awkward misfits where they can speak their senseless rants and make friends without having the need to actually socialize. In a world where I was usually left unheard, I found a place with the pair of ears I didn’t know I needed. I remember the first time one of my posts hit 800 notes and I couldn’t sleep, a wide smile stretched from ear to ear. Call me vain or whatever you want but there really is a sense of satisfaction knowing that people actually like your string of thoughts —  no matter how tangled they are.

7 years later, I’m still thankful I stumbled upon blogging. It made me grow, learn new skills, express myself, make friends, + meet the love of my life. Can’t imagine how I would’ve turned out w/o this.

So whenever you have uncertainties, open up your phone or your laptop, go to a blogging platform (doesn’t have to be Tumblr), and write away. If you just want to keep it for yourself, then post it privately, no problem. The important thing is for you to express your thoughts and build an archive of posts to look for in the future that will eventually make you realize that these little bumps in the road were able to bring you to your present pavement.

I could never quite remember how I left or what was I thinking back then. I’m just thankful that I decided to check up on this community a few days back, only to find myself where I’m always supposed to be.

Tama si Jegs. Never leave your second home.