#making you more antisocial and isolationist

[playingplayer2]

Trying to be introspective and I honestly just send myself spiraling. Spiraling where? No idea, just spiraling.

Definitely spiraling lmao

Like, I've dated before. I also spent nine months third wheeling two of my best friends when they dated and then the few weeks before school started again attached at the hip (the divorce was awkward but it took like a week before the three of us went back to relative normal?? we were in high school and we basically spent like, all of our time hanging out w/ just us three) and while it definitely wasn't romantic, very platonic between me and them, it was infinitely more comfortable and functional(?) than any other relationship I've been in before and since then.

(honestly went on better dates w/ them than I've gone w/ any of my bfs or gfs.......... Aish. Well. Eh, had a couple nice actual dates w/ past partners who... Hn.)

Ironically that was around the time when I started to prefer hearing/reading about other people's relationships and becoming curious about polyamory. So. Hm.

I'm well aware that I do have an actual interest in romantic and sexual partners, each to their own fluctuating degrees. I'm also keenly aware of my own personal issues, half my life in therapy said a lot, didn't fix, heal, or help much.

Would probably rather watch (hypothetical) partners than actively participate in most things, sexual or otherwise. I'm both stupidly touch starved and touch averse, and frankly almost worked myself into an anxiety attack last night releasing- rather putting into coherent thoughts- that I expect touch to hurt and, masochistic preferences aside, I fucking hate that.

Also a firm believer in not using your partner to fix yourself and I'm fuuuuucked in the head in some ways lol. Not nearly as nice as my friends say I am either. Mean streak 100 miles wide, I just actively work to not be cruel. Emotionally stunted with more intellectual emotional intelligence than empathy. Blunter than most people like, with an unfortunate side habit of not saying anything at all if I think my opinion would be poorly received. Trust issues almost 23 years in the making and anxious attachment shit. Would rather cook someone a meal than say "I love you." Enough baggage a cargo plane would struggle.

Would probably be happier as a couple's third who gets to take care of them in materialistic and domestic ways more than anything. Granted I'm broke asf, disabled in a way that makes working difficult, and kinda permanently stitched to my dysfunctional family. So. Hhhn. Driest texter in the universe too. Fucking suck at talking. All hn hm mh mm and shit instead of actual words because I don't know how to fucking talk to people at all.

Don't even know how to figure this shit out with the - hello yes it's still a problem, getting worse by the day, folks - ongoing fucking global pandemic fucking shit over in addition to my isolationist tendencies, because it's better to rip away like fucking velcro than to get burned again in my books, spent enough time alone and enough times where people stabbed me in the back to know which I'd pick.

Idk. Maybe I'm just lonely and spiraling because my social battery's been dead for like 3 years now because I haven't gone out with people since everyone else started to abandon masking and treating me like I was absolutely nutters for still masking. And I've always leaned towards being an antisocial, isolating, catastrophizing, pessimist at heart no matter how extroverted I am.

Idk.

[drafty-castle]

This… entirely ignores the fact that species Homo are social species. As in, working together for survival.

It ignores the fact that we don’t actually know how many people were alive back then or how many were born per year? I mean, not to the exact number. We have good guesses based on available data and calculations, but that could easily change tomorrow with a stunning new archeological dig cropping up. Even the age of Homo sapiens sapiens keeps getting pushed back farther and farther with new evidence and genetic studies.

It ignores the fact that one of the running theories on (part of) what happened to the Neanderthals was that Sapiens literally bred them into extinction - as in embracing them into the community, mating with them, and absorbing them until “purebred Neanderthal” didn’t exist anymore.

It ignores the fact that things were, frankly, just more dangerous back then. It’s relatively recently when most of our megafauna died out; these people were dealing with terror birds and short faced bears and a selection of saber toothed cats and more. But they also had to deal with poisonous foods and venomous snakes and spiders. Medicine was literally in its infancy at this point. Minor infections could become deadly because they didn’t have the penicillin we do now. Childbirth had a much higher mortality rate for both mother and babe; to the point that intentionally killing off a child because you didn’t like its personality would be asinine and counter to the survival of your nomadic group.

Outside select instances of genuine sociopathy/antisocial personality disorder issues - which I’m sure did happen on occasion, where someone became a threat to the whole and needed to be banished - I can’t see how this “domestication” theory would work in practice among people so intimately dependent on each other for survival. People who, due to how small most nomadic groups are, would all also be family of some sort as well.

It just, I dunno, seems to assume that everyone in prehistory was Heinrich Himmler or Elon Musk or that UHC CEO. That everyone made decisions based on personal greed and prejudice that probably didn’t even exist back then.

Turning things around, here’s some articles proving this theory wrong!

⬆️This one is really interesting because it talks about how “it takes a village to raise a child” may be one of yea evolutionary changes we took to become a social species and lead to the existence of altruism and complex language. Which just makes the increasingly isolationist ideology of western (and specifically USAmerican) culture whereby the child is 100% the parents’ responsibility and not the communities really interesting and terrifying to consider. Because that really highlights how unnatural it is for an isolated “nuclear family” to even exist.

This shows how ancient people took care of ended paralyzed members of their groups for years. How they gave disabled members full burial rights. How they showed compassion and empathy in a way that modern society has, honestly, lost in much respects.

Just as it says in the tin!

really disheartening to see how much eco-fascist and eugenicist bullshit has embedded itself into writings about human relationship with nature. I was looking at a copy of a book in the library a while back called Humans Vs. Nature and found this (Discussing early human migrations in the Paleolithic)

To my great dismay, I did not record the source for this claim, But I found these pictures again, and of course I think...How do we know that?

How could we know that Paleolithic hunter-gatherers deliberately controlled their populations by periods of abstaining from sex? That would be incredibly hard to support using archaeological evidence. It seems easier to support infanticide using the archaeological record, so I was not initially troubled by that.

The author is also stating that Paleolithic humans killed their disabled. I have been searching high and low for evidence to support this claim and the closest I've come to any evidence regarding disability in the Paleolithic is this book chapter discussing whether or not it makes sense to assume compassion existed in pre-history. This book chapter gives the impression that the research has been...really dismal.

The two sides of the debate are essentially, "humans probably cared for their disabled in prehistory, because pathologies and injuries are common and they would have needed some kind of care" and "well maybe those people could survive just fine on their own and that's why they lived. We can't prove they were actually disabled."

Not an anthropologist, but I think it's pretty stupid to position a compassionless society as the "null hypothesis," especially based upon chimpanzees. Why would Paleolithic humans be more behaviorally similar to a relative separated by 5 to 13 million years of evolutionary divergence, than to their own descendants a mere few thousand years later????????

But the claim in Humans Vs. Nature isn't just that disabled people weren't cared for, it's that they were deliberately "eliminated," which is a statement with a much higher burden of proof. You would have to find the remains of disabled humans from that time period with clear evidence that they were killed because they were disabled, and you would have to observe this consistently in many sites, to come to the conclusion that it was a cultural norm.

We have many examples of elaborate, seemingly honorable burials for people that were apparently disabled and would have lived a long time with their disabilities. Nothing I've read has mentioned an archaeological record of killing people for being disabled, which would be a glaring oversight, unless it didn't exist, which I'm pretty sure it doesn't.

How did we get to the point where this kind of fucking bullshit sounds so plausible and correct that it makes it into a best selling book without anyone looking it up to see if it's true.

[mountphoenixrp]

We have a new citizen in Mount Phoenix:

           Cyhiraeth, the Celtic Goddess of Streams.            She is an archivist at Phoenix Library & Museum.

FC NAME/GROUP: Park Gyuri (Kara) GOD NAME: Cyhiraeth PANTHEON:  Celtic OCCUPATION: Archivist at the Phoenix Library & Museum HEIGHT: 5'3 (160cm) DEFINING FEATURES: In her human form, she has a deep gaze that you can get lost in, long slim fingers that are always cold, and two large scars on her back. In her harpy form, she is part flesh part bone, with two leathery wings emerging from her back.

PERSONALITY: Cyhiraeth was more or less dragged out of her isolation within the rivers of her home, and came to Mount Phoenix after being convinced it could be good for her. The jury’s still out on that. While she does not dislike people, whether they are other gods or mortals, given her role and the way she is considered, Cyhiraeth is apprehensive when it comes to forging new relationships. She is very much in her little shell, often requiring people to come to her instead of approaching them herself.

Being around mortals, however, is beginning to affect her. While she is not a social creature by nature and most likely never will be, perhaps her many walls can be brought down just a little, and perhaps she can learn to enjoy herself every now and then. She may be the personification of grief and see a strange beauty in the macabre, but even she deserves to have fun, right?

HISTORY: Once upon a time, there was a goddess. She was born with the river and in the river she remained, her heart beating with the flow of the water. And from her place beneath the ripples of the stream, she could feel the mortals around her. They were beautiful, her mortals, but beauty could never last. Cyhiraeth heard the final breath before it was taken, felt the wounds fester before they were inflicted, cried before it ended in tragedy.

Her cries, her mournful, grieving cries, were heard along the riverbank. They were a warning, yes, a sign of danger, but also– a chance. A time to make peace before it was too late. A way of knowing that this, now, would be the last time lovers kissed, the last time friends spoke.

Cyhiraeth changed many times over the centuries. She was beautiful in the river, but beauty could never last. Gwrach-y-Rhibyn, they called her sometimes, when she wailed through their villages, her own vessel failing her. Hag of the Mist. And then, the saying, used on young girls long after Cyhiraeth’s bones grew moss and her back grew wings: Y mae mor salw â Gwrach y Rhibyn. She is as ugly as the Gwrach y Rhibyn.

Of course Cyhiraeth had rebellious phases. Of course she learned to cultivate a true vessel. In it, she would join the mortals, taste what it meant to be alive. And it would last a long, comfortable time. But beauty could never last, and Cyhiraeth never had the luxury of looking away. She felt it, deeply, every time, and her cries always rang true.

Most recently, she was in another isolationist period, where she hid between the mossy rocks at the bottom of the river and waited, patiently, for her sanity to return. It was then that she was pulled out by her bony hands.

“This is ridiculous,” her friend, a rare occurrence, said. “You have to start anew, at least for a little while. Go somewhere completely different, where you can’t just hide away in a river all the time. Re-learn what living is!”

POWERS: Flight (in her harpy form); ability to breathe and see clearly underwater; ability to foresee death, tragedy, and danger; can produce a mournful wail that frightens those around her STRENGTHS: Sincere, intuitive, patient, thoughtful WEAKNESSES: Antisocial, cynical, morbid, guarded

[sakuraswordly]

Sonic: The future I saw…without a doubt. It will happen and there's no more time. Even so… I want to change the future that I've seen in both Punch and golden king's dreams.

This video is my third-hand drawing animation

※※Other characters belong to their respective owners and original creators.(Punch Whalen Character Design by @PunchSakura)

What's make Sonic VS Punch in Tsofph Season 9(Final judgement) will become memorable(not Epic) more than any seasons as my(@sakuraswordly) opinion [@sakuraswordly: This battle is quite difficult to write about because this is not only fighting because of different factions or different thoughts but fighting both physically and mentally. Sonic knows he can't defeat her. But he still can fight equally, although Punch is smarter than him.]

"Oh, you're freaking crazy, hate me, love you breakin' bottles on the pavement. Just to watch them crash"

<=I can't believe "Vandalize my heart" also connect to this. That's sentence

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Eagle: Your manners are also perfect. As expected from a Speed-of-sound gentleman hedgehog.

Sonic: You did meet "Punch". Am I right?

Eagle: ............Yes. You have the means by which you came to this world. But without that, you still understand us and be able to travel across time and space by yourself. This power can only be used by the average person once, but you can use it multiple times. If I had to guess, you and King Gilgamesh did hold the same level of power.

Sonic: ................

Eagle: You like to call yourself a connoisseur. You are shown to be an isolationist and slightly antisocial as the kind of person "that needed a lot of privacy," preferring to be alone either by napping, looking at the horizon, or going on an adventure alone.

Sonic: You don't have to guess. Golden King and I are really the same. We came back to the country of infinity to find a way to save both Punch and Peter.

Eagle: Huh...Did you join the chess tournament intending to win the prize?

Sonic: That is one of my reason.

Eagle: .............your reason? So you already know what a special prize is.

Sonic: Yes. That prize was once made by Edalyn Clawthorne and Raine Whispers. A magic that can stay in freeze time or nothingness and can accept another soul or switch a soul.

Eagle: Why are you want to switch a soul?

Sonic: I saw Kujaku take my body and turn me into some kind like mecha Sonic. My soul will be destroyed if I don't do something. It is just like when Mecha Sonic planned to transfer his mind into my body in the past.

Eagle: King Gilgamesh also said the same to me that his only reason for him keep travelling was to stop Kujaku. This special prize, King Gilgamesh was also part of making this. You already knew this too. Then may I ask again, do you want to be separated that badly from those people?

Sonic: Yes.

Eagle: Even though you lied to your friends? You are not the type that loves to lie.

Sonic: It's good for them to not let them know...after all I am also responsible for what I was born into this world. I just don't want both Shadow and Amy to protect me and hurt themself. I can't watch them get hurt because of me. They had been through long enough.

Eagle: And Syaoran?

Sonic: .........Kujaku sent Exeller to kill Syaoran. A long time ago Kujaku sent Fei Wang Reed to kill Syaoran and he did use Fai's curse as a purpose. I can't let Exeller know what I had known so I need to lie to Syaoran too.

Eagle: Long ago when the "Syaoran" 's group came to this world. The princess saw the future from her dream and change the future. The future Lantis saw, after the last battle that "Fai" man stabs the princess and she dies. He kills his two friends.

Eagle: You and Princess had the same future vision.

Sonic: Just beginning not expert as much as Sakura and Chester. Thanks to Syaoran's memories.

Eagle: Then came back to this question again. Why are you want to switch a soul so badly?

Sonic: I want Punch to take my role.

Eagle: Because you're a non-human?

Sonic: No. Because my Human vessel already paid a price to save Cosmo. I saw Cosmo die to fulfil her destiny to stop the Metarex and save the universe. Rouge told me that Cosmo's species evolve into trees at some point in their lifetimes, implied to be the form they must assume to birth children. Immediately afterwards they will die unless sustained by the energy of a Planet Egg.

Sonic: That time made me realise that we can change the future. Even Mephiles killed me and Elise confidently puts out the Flames, eliminating Solaris from existence once and for all. I still believe that the future can be changed. That's why I want to believe in Punch. I believe that she can change the future and make things right like me.

Dhaos: You are not being serious right?

Yuko: Certainly in the future, you are choosing... You will be "alone". But it will not be the same as experiencing "Loneliness". Are you will willing to take that chance?

Sonic: Yes. I won't let such a thing happen!

Connect to this:

Sonic said "That's why I will believe you to the very end", Sonic had the ability to read people's hearts and now he has the ability to see someone else's memories. Sonic saw Punch and Gilgamesh's future vision. Sonic is an honest type and very honest and respectful to friends and important people. Sonic won't betray Punch no matter how villain Punch is because Punch, Sonic and Danny make a friendship like a promise they made together. In Tsofph Season 11(Chapter 1 Secret Truth of the Past), Punch and Peter turn back time and continue to the present with King Gilgamesh so they are behind in saving Sonic too. In Tsofph Season 8, Sonic finally remembered even when he was in the Babylonian era. Punch and King Gilgamesh had done so much for keeping him safe and exist. Sonic felt so bad that he can't be able to help them, especially King Gilgamesh, who always ran and hid behind him. Until Tsofph Season 8(Story of Daily Life), Sonic met Punch in her younger version. Sonic decide to save Punch from her sadness like what he did to Shadow and Velvet.

Sonic: Her saddest is too strong. I feel so heavy...I did one fight with Shadow but Punch is different from Shadow. We shared the same existence, not appearance. Only Punch and I can see the lines of death. I can't win against her because she's too smart. Even Tails gave me some advice, I can't win against her! No! I won't let my despair take control of me again like that time when Dark Oak did that to me. I am the only one that can save her now. I need to trust myself. If Daniel was here, he would want me to stop her too even no matter how much Daniel hates this world as much as Punch do. "Punch" always helps me. And even this Punch wants to help me in her own way. Although she knew that darkness would overwhelm her heart and never return. At least this will save her...I had experience from fight Metal Sonic and Mecha Sonic. Eggman tried to train me, he tried to teach me to fight on my own. All the evil plans he trained me on. He knew that one day I would fight Punch. The robot or Shadow can also imitate his moves and achieve speeds matching and even exceeding my own even those robots had hearts. That is why he continued his evil plan to train me. Now I know how to save her. It's my kindness.

Conversation Source: tumblr.com/sakuraswordly

"Oh, you're freaking crazy, hate me, love you breakin' bottles on the pavement. Just to watch them crash"

Sonic called Punch "Naughty". Punch loves to break the rules and do something that people won't do like Sonic. Punch's heart is also very complicated. She both loves and hates at the same time for no reason. In some instances, Sonic is shown to be an isolationist and slightly antisocial as he is the kind of person "that needed a lot of privacy," preferring to be alone either by napping, looking at the horizon, or going on an adventure alone for a few minutes or for over six months; ignoring his friends when engaging in conversation or going on an adventure themselves to a location he was too. Also, Sonic is a nature lover, seeing as he preferred to be outdoors than indoors and takes the time to smell the flowers and enjoy life the same way Punch did as well.

What is a memory bottle? A memory jar is a popular and meaningful memorial idea that celebrates the memories you shared with your departed loved one. This project is not only a tribute to a loved one's life and legacy. It also serves as a source of comfort to the grieving family as they get to read and treasure all the important memories

In Tsubasa of Phantasia, "breakin' bottles on the pavement. Just to watch them crash" Memories that Punch wants to throw away her happy memories and abandon the happiness that she creates to move forward. But Sonic is deleting all sadness and moving forward to a bright future.

Yep! Punch's weakness is Sonic himself, his kindness, pure and childish. Sonic's heart can't grow. He will remain as a child, an innocent child forever no matter how traumatic he had been through. The whole reason why Punch chooses to protect him is that he won't change his heart and is always honest, unlike any lives that she met including herself. (And that's the whole reason why everyone in real life loves Sonic I guess.) So in this fight, Sonic absolutely win as always.