#making sure both parties get good sleep and feel supported in their interests is the height of romance

[autumn-elwood]

Thinking about being married and having separate rooms so we can have space for our individual interests or having a shared room with twin mattresses separated by a small nightstand so we can reach across the gap and hold hands.

[jburrgf]

Prudence Girl.

We could stay alone, you and me and this temptation, sipping on your lips hanging on by thread.

pairing: joe burrow lsu x reader (becoming enemies to lovers)

summary: after a year at LSU, your best friend finally convinces you apply to be a prudence girl.

description: college life, frat party, kiss

—————————————————————

It was a relief to be far from home. From Ohio in general.

Now, I have to put up with my best friend, Tracy Evans, rambling about the fraternity and sorority homecoming at LSU and how much she’d love to be part of Prudence.

Prudence, by the way, is a sorority mostly run by a clique of cheerleaders. They all live in a huge house, practically Republican HQ, where they throw parties almost every week.

I find it cosmic and weird that the name is also a condom brand. But hey, no judgments here.

“We have to go, y/n.” Tracy grabs my shoulders, shaking them. “We can’t miss this!”

“Freshmen can’t miss it, and we’re not freshmen,” I say, winking at her. “At least, not technically. I still feel like one, tho.”

Tracy rolls her green eyes. “That’s where you’re wrong, y/n. It’s not just freshmen who can’t skip out. Prudence pledges can’t either.”

“And why does that matter to us?” I ask, frowning.

“Because, my dear, if we pass tonight’s initiation, we’ll be Prudence pledges,” she says, winking as my jaw slowly drops. “I signed us both up.”

“You what?” I get up from my chair, furious. “If you want to be a Prudence Girl, Tracy, go ahead, but don’t drag me into it!”

Tracy rolls her eyes again. “Don’t be dramatic,” she says, stroking my cheek. “You don’t have to go through initiation if you don’t want to, or even join Prudence. I just want your company, you know, moral support and stuff.”

With her puppy-dog eyes on me, it was impossible to refuse. Sighing heavily, I nodded.

“You owe me, Tracy Evans!” I growl, grabbing my black jacket and throwing it over a white T-shirt that says, “Don’t look at my tits, perv” as I leave the room.

I walked across the dorm with a scowl on my face. Sure, it’s good to be away from home, but it’s not like Cincinatti is a paradise. It’s not even close.

“Hey, y/LN!” I turned my head to the left, where Alyssa Powell was calling me. “Love the shirt.”

I roll my eyes with a faint smile. “What’s up, Powell?”

Me and Alyssa knew each other from the hallways of LSU. She wasn't like a friend of mine, but she was cool to talk to.

“I need ya’ help, y/n,” she says, biting her lip. “You know I don’t get along with Abby Griffin, right?”

“I think the whole campus knows, after she grabbed the principal’s megaphone and announced she’d make your life hell.” Aly grins at the memory. “Go on.”

“I need a reason to stay in Prudence,” she continues. “And a great reason would be to mentor a pledge during initiation. And I saw your name on the list…”

Oh, no.

“Aly… Look, you’re awesome, smart, funny…extraordinary!” Aly smiles, blushing. “But no way.”

“Why not?” She pouts. Oh boy, here come the sad faces again.

“Because I have zero interest in being part of Prudence,” I reply, tucking a strand of curls behind her ear. “Mentor Tracy. She really wants to join you guys.”

Aly sighs. “She already has a mentor,” she says, her voice pleading. “Abby made sure every pledge had one before I could even consider it. I’m surprised you don’t have one yet.”

“Oh, that’s simple. I hate every Prudence Girl,” I say, shrugging. “Including you. But I hate you with love, you know?”

I watch Alyssa laugh, throwing her head back.

“Y/n, look, I wouldn’t be here begging if it wasn’t important,” she says, grabbing my hands. “My mom graduated as a Prudence Girl, so did my aunt, and my older sister. It’s a family thing, you know? I can’t screw it up just because the leader hates me for sleeping with Joe.”

“Wait, what?”

I had no idea about it. Fresh gossip, I guess?

Joe Burrow was the new sensation on campus for the last six months. He was QB1 from the LSU Tigers and didn't lose any games in the regular season — at least not until now. I didn't know that guy very well, and honestly, I like it that way. I'm not into jocks, especially the ones with massive egos.

“Yeah. She doesn’t like me because I hooked up with her boyfriend once, that’s all,” she says, shrugging. “Please, y/n…”

I stare into her brown eyes, at her wild curls and clothes far too bold for a university.

“Okay. On one condition,” I say, watching her smile grow wider and wider.

“Anything!”

“I want a room with Tracy, just the two of us. That, or no deal!” I cross my arms.

“Deal!”

[…]

When I return to my dorm, Tracy is there, jumping around to an ‘80s song, dressed in pink leggings, a black crop top, leg warmers, and a headband holding back her blonde hair. She looked ridiculous. Ridiculously beautiful.

“What the hell are you doing, Evans?” I ask, climbing the bunk bed ladder. If joining Prudence means having my own bed on the floor, it might be worth it.

“Aerobics,” she says, smiling. “I do it every day after class for two hours. It’s exhausting, but it works.”.

“You should try it.”

“No thanks. I prefer my soft butt,” I say sarcastically. “Oh, by the way, I’m doing the initiation and becoming a Prudence Girl.”

“What? Why?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be happy?” I frown.

“I am, of course I am,” she smiles. “But why? You were so set against it this morning.”

I sigh. “Alyssa Powell asked me,” I shrug. “If she’s not my mentor, Abby Griffin will kick her out of Prudence.”

.“Remind me to thank her later.”

I lay back on my pillow, thinking about what it would be like to share a house with dozens of girls. Rent is $100, slightly less than the dorm, but that’s not reason enough to join a sorority.

“How does this initiation work, anyway?” I ask.

“It’s really simple, almost childish,” she says, rolling her eyes. “The guys eat or drink something, then kiss us. If we guess what it was, we’re in.”

“Seriously? That’s it?”

“Almost childish, like I said,” she grins.

Then it hits me. “Wait! Guys? What guys?”

“What other guys, silly? Prudence Girls kiss Prudence Boys,” Tracy bites her lip. “I can’t wait to kiss one of them.”

I rub my face with both hands, already regretting agreeing to this mess.

“I bet you can’t.”

[…]

Prudence House was packed, full of students. Nobody cared that it was the initiation for the new Prudence pledges because it was one of the most anticipated parties of the year—alongside the Prudence fraternity’s homecoming, the Kappa farewell, and the random Acacia parties, all of them Republican houses.

Tracy made me wear one of her dresses, shorter and tighter than I had imagined. My best friend did my makeup and hair, not because I can’t get ready on my own, but because I take forever doing it.

In just an hour, I was perfectly ready, waiting for the campus lights to go out and the pink lights of the Prudence sorority, in the back street, to take over. The house was ridiculously large—after all, it housed almost thirty girls—with many rooms, many bathrooms, and a huge party hall. It was in this hall that I stopped to observe the beige walls.

“Stop looking at things like that, you look like a child,” Tracy murmured, elbowing me.

“Sorry, mom,” I teased, hiding a smile. “This place feels like a museum.”

Tracy didn’t respond, maybe because she agreed or maybe because Abby Griffin was making her way toward us, looking determined.

Abby Griffin was the type of girl with queen bee energy. And she really was, technically. For the past two years, she was the “Prudence Queen”. I never knew how we became friends — actually, I didn’t even have the idea that she knew who I was.

“Y/n y/ln, I presume,” she said, eyeing me with superiority. “Alyssa’s new recruit.”

“In the flesh,” I smiled at her.

“The initiation will start shortly, in the backyard. If you're late, you’re out.” I could see in her eyes she wanted to add "along with Alyssa," but she held back.

“We’ll be there.”

Tracy squeezed my hand and pulled me outside in a matter of seconds, making me roll my eyes dramatically.

When we arrived outside, a line of women stretched across the lawn, their nervous and anxious faces clearly marking them as potential pledges. Everything would depend on a stupid kiss from a guy.

Alyssa found me when I got to the end of the line; including Tracy and me, there were twelve of us, the maximum number allowed per semester. Aly smiled and held my hands.

“Your room is already reserved,” she whispered. Aly glanced around, checking the area before leaning in to whisper, “Coffee candy and mint gum.” To disguise her words, Aly gave me a quick peck. “See you later, Prudence Girl.”

I held back the urge to groan that "Prudence Girl" and "Prudence Boy" sounded like names for a girl group and boy band—and they also actively reminded me of condoms, of course. I could make that joke later, after surviving the initiation just because a fling had kindly asked me to.

Tracy watched us with a smile; a nod from her confirmed she had heard what Aly said.

I would call this cheating if I cared about this whole mess.

“Welcome, everyone—brothers, sisters, pledges, and nosy students,” Abby Griffin began, silencing the crowd. “Tonight, we’ll be welcoming our new sisters—those who, of course, pass the initiation.”

Tracy squeezed my hand. Sneaky little thing.

“The initiation is as follows: we have a dozen Prudence Boys here, but you won’t see them until after you've kissed them.” At that, each mentor handed their pledge a black blindfold and placed it over our eyes. “Each guy has tasted something different—maybe a strawberry, maybe whipped cream, maybe vodka... Your job, during the kiss, is to figure out what was in his mouth before he kissed you. Good luck.”

Apparently, a line of twelve boys stood in front of us, aligned like we were. But we wouldn’t be kissed all at once.

I had to endure the sounds of sloppy kisses for several long minutes, along with guesses of foods or drinks—all of them correct.

Tracy squeezed my hand one last time before letting go.

It was her turn.

More kissing sounds, longer than usual. I rolled my eyes beneath the blindfold.

“Coffee candy!” Tracy shouted, earning applause and cheers.

Now it was my turn.

I felt the approach of someone who smelled of cheap cologne and sweat, and I automatically grimaced. This was clearly Abby’s doing.

But before the guy could mess up my night, a voice stopped him.

“Step aside, Oliver.” The body heat from the boy faded as he stepped away, and someone else approached. This one smelled of Dior Savage and coconut shampoo, and I honestly like it more. “She deserves someone better.”

“And you’re that someone better, Burrow?” Oliver, I assumed, yelled.

There was no response. Instead, soft lips covered mine, kissing me gently, while a hand slid to my neck, holding me in place, at his mercy.

An overwhelming sense of déjà vu hit me.

But his mouth didn’t taste like mint gum. Oliver surely would have, but this intruder had interfered.

I didn’t know whether to thank him for sparing me from the sweaty guy or curse him for confusing my mind.

I was still being kissed. His lips pressed lovingly against mine, and at the end of that affectionate wildness, three soft pecks were left as his hand released my neck.

Oh, crap. Crap, crap, crap.

The once-noisy crowd had gone completely silent. Not a single person was saying anything.

Nothing. Not even a whisper.

I focused on the taste left in my mouth, where his tongue had roamed freely.

“What the hell was that, Burrow?” Abby yelled, probably storming toward us.

I didn’t dare remove my blindfold, afraid of what I’d see. Of who I’d see.

“You weren’t supposed to kiss her!” Abby continued.

Someone leaned toward me, and from the scent, it was him again.

“Do you have a boyfriend, darling?” he asked with the sweetest voice he could do it.

“No.”

“Then yes, I can kiss you.” I pressed my lips together as they argued.

“No, you can’t! You took Olly’s place!” Abby shouted back.

I cleared my throat, embarrassed.

“Chocolate,” I suddenly said, silencing them. “You ate chocolate before...”

A soft gasp escaped the boy, low and pleading, before his mouth claimed mine again.

Oh my God...

“Joseph Burrow!” Abby shrieked, furious, while the boy ignored her completely, more interested in caressing my lips with his own.

Damn, this feels so good!

A strand of my hair was tucked behind my ear as my lips were reluctantly released.

“Congratulations, Ohio girl. You’re a Prudence Girl now.”

I felt like I could faint at any moment, but I didn’t remove the blindfold, because I knew who I’d see if I did, and I wasn’t ready for that.

[g0kotta]

Almost

There was always an almost with you and Geto.

Geto x f!reader. Mentions of death. This is fluff to angst. Spoilers for JJK!

Almost holding his hand.

The first year of Jujutsu Tech was interesting to say the least. Getting out of your comfort zone and meeting new people you would spend a lifetime with. It was all so sudden. You left your clan, your family behind and started a new life there.

Though after a while you managed to settle down. Your three classmates Shoko, Gojo and Geto were nice to be with. Shoko was calmer than the two and you formed a nice friendship with her faster than with them. She was there from day one, with a friendly smile on her face and a cigarette hanging between her lips.

The smell of cigarettes felt calming after a while. You always knew it was her walking around the corner and it felt comforting.

Geto and Gojo became your good friends a bit later on in the first year. As douchey as they were they understood that you needed time to feel comfortable around them and they respected that. They gave you personal space until you started talking with them more, going on missions together and coming back with tears in your eyes from all of the laughter.

It felt good. In those moments you almost forgot how much you actually missed home. Soon enough these three people became your second family.

And now as you lay on the grassy field at 3AM with Geto next to you, it feels right.

“Couldn’t sleep?” He turns his face to look at you. And as you do the same you think how angelic he truly looked. He was the opposite from Gojo, who had plenty of girls following him around and feeding into his already big ego, but you never really understood why. In your eyes Geto was the best looking guy you’ve seen. His now messy hair is free from the hair tie that always keeps his hair in place. It falls on his face framing it in a way that makes him look like a painting. His dark eyes meet yours as he awaits for your answer.

“Mhm..” you hum and give him a soft smile. “It’s a rough night.” you whisper. “The mission today sucked out my energy, but I just can’t stop thinking about the kids who died in front of our eyes. We almost saved them..” a frown etches onto your face as you sigh. “When I close my eyes that’s all I see.”

Geto shuffles closer to you and your hands touch.

“It’s not your fault.” He calmly states. “It’s life, (L/N). We’re trying to make it better, but you have to remember that we can’t save everyone.”

His hand tries to reach your palm, hold it in his bigger one, but before he can do that..

“Hey, guys!” Gojo’s annoying voice screeches. “You should’ve told me you’re having a slumber party or something.”

When he almost asked you out.

Geto was pacing around his dorm room. His hair is in a messy bun, he’s slightly irritated and you can tell by the way his eyebrows are slightly arched. He has a mean look on him and Gojo is confused as he has never seen his friend like that.

At first the white haired male doesn’t want to interfere as his friend looked out of it. ‘It’s like his whole family died’ he thinks as he keeps staring at Geto.

“Just calm down.” Gojo grins. “I’m sure everything will be fine. She likes you back for sure, dude. The way she looks at you? Like you hung the moon and the stars. Just believe in yourself, Suguru.”

“You don’t understand, Satoru. She’s different. I don’t want to ruin whatever we have.” His pace becomes faster. “I really care about her. I want her in my future. But what if she doesn’t see me like that? I can’t imagine losing her.” He frowns.

Gojo groans and stands up from Geto’s bed. He walks up to his friend and puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes it in reassurance.

“She likes you. You just have to calm down.” Gojo smiles warmly at his friend, supporting him. “I can see it with all of my eyes.”

Geto hits Gojo’s shoulder and both of them laugh. It doesn’t feel tense anymore.

Though no matter how long Gojo stayed in his room, Geto never got the courage to ask you out. Especially not after he saw you through his window. Laughing at what Nanami said.

When he almost kissed you.

“Ugh.” Geto groans as he looks at his notepad, slowly losing his hope to understand the subject. “This is bullshit.” He throws the pen on the table and rubs his eyes in frustration.

“You think?” You sarcastically roll your eyes while trying to comprehend what you were even reading right now.

“We’re failing this, (L/N).” He sighs and closes his notepad, putting it back in his bag. “I’m done with this. I don’t care anymore. Literally could give less of a shit.”

“I get it.” You smirk and stretch also giving up on understanding the topic of math. “It’s like this isn’t even real. Who created this theory?”

Geto stands up from the chair that he was sitting on and walks towards where you were seated on the carpet in the middle of your dorm room.

“Wanna do something else?” He raises a brow. “Like.. Watch a movie?”

“I don’t have any new ones.” You answer him quickly. “Unless you want to rewatch the same old five cassette tapes I have.” You say already knowing his answer. He lets out a huff and falls into your bed groaning mumbling something about how boring it is.

You grin and stand up shuffling towards the bed and fall onto his body and he gasps as he feels the weight of someone else’s body on top of his. He starts whining and you start laughing. The room erupts with noises as he starts an argument that you’re not even participating in. It feels fresh. It feels like spring when nature is reborn again. It feels warm and inviting.

As the laughs die down you to lay next to each other, looking at each other’s faces and studying them. He smiles at you softly noticing how your cheeks are dusted in pink. He reaches out and softly, as if you were made out of glass, he follows your features with his thumb. As if he was trying to remember how your face felt. It felt like he was an artist and you were the art.

He let’s out a noice of satisfaction and his grin gets bigger. He slowly starts to inch towards your face. You look into his eyes, feeling like your heart will soon jump out of your chest. Your lips are millimetres apart, but before they can collide, loud noises can be heard from the outside.

You two jump off of the bed in a rush.

Someone was attacking Jujutsu Tech.

When he almost..

Your heart is breaking. It was stupid. So so stupid. Your hands reach into your hair and you swear you could pull everything out. Your skin felt itchy and your stomach felt like it had butterflies trying to dig their way out.

It was crushing you. Your whole life you knew and had fell apart in a few hours. As you laid in your bed, holding yourself, trying to keep yourself from falling apart, your window opens.

You don’t even need to lift your head up to know who it was.

“I’m sorry.” Were the first words you heard. “I wish things could be different.” He keeps on talking, while you stay quiet. Only broken sobs were heard from your laying body. “In another life we will be married and raising five children.” Suguru laughs bitterly, walking up to your bed. He sits down next to you and takes you in his arms. He wipes away your tears. "But the world we live in now, isn’t so kind to people like us."

“Five kids with you doesn’t sound so bad..” you whisper in tears “I hope that’s true.. And that in another lifetime things are different.”

Suguru lets out a soft chuckle, looking into your eyes. “Of course it’s true. I’m sure one of them will look just like me.” He gives you a warm embrace, feeling your tears on his chest. “Please don’t cry (Y/N), you’re making my heart ache.”

“You’re the one to say that.” Your voice breaks. “Why.. why are you choosing that path?”

“(Y/N)..” he hugs you tightly as if he always wants to remember the feeling of you laying on his chest. “Our paths are way too different. I’m sure you’ll find all of the answers on your own.” He smiles. “I can’t stay for long. They’re looking for me already.” Suguru leans in and for the first time your lips touch. Though rather than giving you joy it felt like he was taking everything away from you. It was melodramatic. He came to say goodbye and took your heart with him. “I’m sorry.” He whispers and before you can do anything, he leaves. And as you lay in bed you realised that not only did he take your heart he also took away the warmth of summer and spring and left you alone with the coldness of winter.

As he leaves the grounds of Jujutsu Tech he stops for a second and looks back. With a sigh he turns around and leaves.

When he almost stayed.

[dreamofbona]

enhypen as fathers - hyung line

summary: a collection of thoughts on each of hyung line being fathers

note: implied relationship between enha and the reader. i wrote it so the reader can have any pronouns, so i hope all engenes feel like they can read this!

warnings: none?

word count: 1.2 k

~~

HEESEUNG enjoys playing more than the kids. He’s the one who asks for five more minutes to play cars or build Legos. He’s a true child at heart, especially at home where he doesn’t have to worry about the members.

HEESEUNG also passes on his love for music - singing lullabies, humming on long car rides, taking the kids to concerts (both his and others’). He loves his family karaoke nights, and loves hearing the kids sing or play instruments, always encouraging them and supporting them. 

HEESEUNG always makes time for the kids. Think working from home if he’s writing music, or making “take your kid to work day” a regular thing. He loves taking them to the studio, teaching them what buttons to push, and letting them mess around with recording on the mic.

HEESEUNG thinks he’s an excellent father, citing past experience “raising Niki” (who he refuses to let babysit but that’s another story), and even though you like to joke that he isn’t, you can’t help but agree. He’s a model father, and you think the kids are so lucky to have him.

HEESEUNG refuses to let the ENHYPEN members babysit (with the exception of JAY) - some have messed up in the past, and others were never trusted from the beginning.

(jungwon didn’t put the kids to sleep because he wanted to stay up; sunoo got distracted with the good lighting in the kitchen; niki was playing violent video games; sunghoon and jake were never trusted to begin with)

HEESEUNG goes all out for all the holidays - he’ll dress up as Santa, and comes up with the most elaborate Halloween costumes. He loves doing themed costumes with the family as well.

~~

JAY has always wanted to be a father. Growing up an only child, he’d always wanted multiple kids, so they could have the close sibling bond he’d always craved.

JAY is usually a mature adult, but not when the kids are fighting. You think he enjoys watching them argue, calling each other silly insults - “farthead”, “butthole”. He never bothers breaking up their fights - “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” - and instead tries to get you to bet with him on who’ll win tonight’s argument. You’re interested to see what he says when they get older and start swearing.

JAY insists on family cooking nights at least once a week. He enjoys teaching the kids to cook, and cooking with them. He also hardcore judges them for their interesting choices when it comes to pizza toppings.

JAY loves cooking for the kids as well. If you can’t find him, you know he’ll be in the kitchen, working on a meal or a snack or dessert. You love the smile on his face when the kids take a freshly baked cookie and tell him it’s great - his eyes crinkle up and his grin is bright and he looks like he just won the lottery.

JAY also loves tucking the kids in - he’ll read them stories, sing them lullabies, strum on his guitar before wishing them a good night. 

(you’re thankful for that as well because jay’s usually the one they wake up if they have nightmares - you get to carry on with your beauty sleep)

JAY loves getting gifts for the kids so much that it’s a problem. You argue with him on this all the time - “they’re 5, jay, they don’t need designer”. He’ll just respond with “I can’t help myself, Prada has such cute outfits”. He insists on making sure the kids are dressed well, and you can’t help but smile at how cute it is to see Jay acting like their stylist.

~~

JAKE balances his roles of “father” and “friend” really well. He’s extremely playful - always ready to play-fight or build Legos or have a tea party - but won’t hesitate to switch to “dad-mode” should a fight break out or a bad word be said. He’s still sweet though - “don’t repeat that word again sweetie”.

JAKE is the kids’ number one fan (you and him argue over that title all the time). No matter how busy he is, he’s always cheering them on, whether it be a soccer match or a dance recital. 

(he’s “gotten sick” on several content-shooting days just to jump up and down at a sports game)

JAKE wants the kids to explore so they can find their passions. He introduces them to soccer, singing, violin, but doesn’t hold them to it - “they were my passions, so i think you should look into them, but they don’t have to be yours too”. He’s more than happy to cheer them on for basketball or trumpet as well.

JAKE loves going for family walks. Jake, you, the kids, and the family dog, strolling around the neighborhood on a nice day. Jake will challenge the kids to naming different types of clouds, and he’ll throw back his head and laugh when they come up with ridiculous names.

JAKE is the most supportive person ever, and you think that the kids are so lucky to have him. He understands how important it is to have supportive parents, considering his journey to becoming an idol, so he always supports you and the kids in everything you do - trying out a new activity, taking a challenging class, having a long day at work. He’s always there for his family.

JAKE becomes more confident after becoming a father as well. You think he was a little insecure about his voice before - “I wish I sounded like Heeseung hyung” he’s said on more than one occasion - but the kids (and you) are enamored with his voice, always insisting that he sing on long car rides and before going to sleep.

~~

SUNGHOON loves taking the kids skating. In the winter, he’ll regularly take them to the local ice rink, and teach them to skate. He abandons his fancy twists and jumps, opting rather to hold his kids’ hands, and teach them how to glide across the ice. 

SUNGHOON is a constant, steadying force in the family. He’s not always talking, but you and the kids always know he’s there for you. At dinner, he’ll sit quietly, listening carefully as the kids recount their days at school, smiling at the fun parts, and threatening violence when he hears about mean kids or annoying teachers.

SUNGHOON insists on family dance battles. Some nights after dinner, he’ll have everyone gather in the den, and start playing music. He always looks so happy just to be doing something fun with the people he loves. 

SUNGHOON is very cheesy in that he loves the “typical family things”. He insists on nice photoshoots for greeting cards during the holidays - he’ll book a date, buy coordinating outfits. He’s also a sucker for the traditional family road trip, beach day, ski trip. 

SUNGHOON is so sweet on those previously mentioned ski trips. He’ll hold everyone's hands on the chairlifts, making sure everyone feels comfortable. He’s more than happy to help you and the kids get down the mountain, and won’t hesitate to wipe out on purpose to make you and the kids smile.

SUNGHOON is also the kind of guy who will regularly quote Lilo and Stitch - “Ohana means family, and family means that no one gets left behind.” He’s really sweet, and cheesy, and you and the kids love him for that.

[sprintingowl]

Writing Your First TTRPG

So you want to write your first TTRPG system.

A short thread.

First, you should know that you don't have to make your TTRPG from scratch.

You can always use Mork Borg or Fate or PbtA or Trophy or any other system that supports third party content.

Systems like Caltrop Core even come with tutorial material for how to write your game.

But let's say you don't want any guardrails. You want to make the whole thing yourself. Here's how to do that.

To start, zero in on what your system's about.

Don't worry about genre or style, just find something you think would be fun to tell stories about. Dinosaur bikers. Astronauts in a lover's tiff. Spiders selling hats. Anything.

Now that you've got your subject, the next step is crucial.

Dive right in.

I'm serious. Open up a document and start writing the part of the game that is most interesting to you.

It might be character Classes, or monsters, or even just a basic idea of how you want your game to handle some part of gameplay.

"Food is important! There's rules for hunting!" is a fine place to start.

From there, build outward.

If you've written "Gremlin Class: +1 to Sneak, +1 to Airship Repair", that tells you two things about how your system works.

It tells you that both sneaking and airships matter in your game, and that you should write rules for them.

When writing rules, here are some things not to worry about just yet:

-Are the rules realistic?

-Do the rules work?

Just get some mechanics down. Give people a way to interact with your game.

"Roll a d6. High is good and low is bad" is a fine place to start, but you can get weirder.

Do you want people to roll a lot of dice? Or use dice that get neglected?

Do you want to test something other than dice rolling, like playing cards or flicking a paper football?

Do you want players to have some degree of control over the dice? Can they spend a resource for rerolls, or to simply succeed?

You might end up finding that your dice system works a bit like another game, and this is completely fine. There are thousands of TTRPG systems that have elements that overlap with each other. Nobody has a patent on target numbers.

Once you've got some mechanics, take a look at how they interact with the other thing you built---the thing you care about. This will inspire you to design further.

Add new Classes, new monsters, new subsystems.

Keep designing until you feel like you've written down everything you want to, and then get some sleep.

Yes, really. Put the project down, go to bed, wake up the next day, and edit it.

Your game is going to look incoherent at first, and that's fine. The goal of this editing pass isn't to get it perfect. It's to get your game to the point where someone can read it and make a character.

Once your game is in that state, get some friends to build PCs. Play a session. See what breaks. Go back and adjust your game to fix the things that broke. Then play a bit more. See what else breaks.

If you wrote a really big system, this will all take longer, but eventually you'll find that your system isn't breaking all the time.

At this point, you can keep it for yourself and your friends, or you can distribute it.

Platforms like itchio are great for posting new TTRPGs. Depending on your skillset, you might illustrate your game and put it through layout, or you might just export it as a PDF and post it. Both approaches are fine.

If you decide you want to make your project into a commercial undertaking, you can go to kickstarter or gamefound, or print zines and sell them yourself. Or you can just sit back and enjoy the thing you've made.

--

Coda: This is absolutely not the only way to design TTRPGs, and I'm sure a lot of designers have completely different processes. If this approach isn't working for you, or if there's something you hate about it, go with your instinct and do things different.

[simslegacy5083]

Today's (10/29/2024) Episode: Wholesome Morning Fun

Luigi and Noemi had successfully launched Watcher Tales right before their originally planned New Year’s Eve release date.

With that deadline off their backs, the family was able to relax and enjoy the holiday in style. In honor of all the relatives who had helped with his game launch, Luigi orchestrated a charity stream at the local gaming center, raising money for the family's foundation for at risk youth.

They kicked things off early in the morning, gathering a group of sims to participate in a timed Watcher Tales build challenge.

“You’ve got 2 hours to create a rockin’ party venue” Luigi told them “I’ll be checking in throughout on your progress, and at the end we’ll take turns touring all your creations, while our online viewers vote on their favorite. Good luck everyone!”

The winning build wound up being a futuristic nightclub lot, designed by the foundation’s volunteer computer science tutor, Mauricio.

Luigi had known this fellow computer lover since their teen years, when he’d been captain of Copperdale High’s computer club. The now much more mellow sim had put his interest in technology to good use both at the foundation and as a teacher at their old alma mater.

“I love your game, and so do my students.” he told Luigi when he came over to offer his congratulations. “The logic and data puzzles you added to the gearhead career are genius. It’s a fun way for kids to learn some of the basics of programming and I’m excited to work it into my lesson plans.”

As the attendees enjoyed placing their creations into their game worlds, Luigi was setting up breakfast with Grandpa Don and his friend Anderson.

“Anderson, this is Lalani. She wants to open her own catering business someday and today she’ll be helping you prepare your famous waffles for our event. Meanwhile, our volunteer Bradley here will be helping Don prepare drinks for all our guests. Nothing too potent now, he’s still a teen!”

“Brunch will be served shortly” he hollered to the crowd. “In the meantime, feel free to enjoy any of the fun activities we’ve setup throughout the center and thank you again for coming out to support this great cause!”

While Luigi was busy hosting the event and gathering footage for the foundations future promotions his son was unloading his most recent woes onto his friend Elyse “…then a clown with pliers started yanking out my teeth. It was awful! That wasn’t just a dream either…” he finished with a sigh “A bunch of my baby teeth are loose, and I hate how they’re all wiggly in my mouth. Daddy said I could just pull them out but I’m afraid to.”

“I totally get it” Elyse replied “I have nightmares too, and losing teeth is the worst! I yank mine to make sure I don’t swallow any in my sleep!”

“Oh, I don’t want to swallow them” Skye whimpered, more scared than ever, just in time for Bruce to jump into the conversation.

“I heard when you swallow a tooth it stays in your stomach for SEVEN YEARS!” their feisty friend grinned evilly at Skye’s horrified expression. “Now quite your bellyaching and come upstairs so I can kick your butts on this HUGE Space Invaders arcade game I found!”

After the meal Noemi gathered the children and teens for a little programming workshop. “Today I’ll show you how to program a simple music player and synthesizer so you can make your own tunes. I’ll also show you how to add your music tracks to Watcher Tales so you can hear them in game!”

Luigi filmed the kids working on their players, providing tips and tricks as he went. The sight of his friends, relatives, and the at-risk kids playing and learning together warmed his heart and made him proud of the good work the foundation was doing to help sims who might otherwise fall through the cracks.

Checking the donation counter Lugi was excited to see they’d already raised a healthy sum, and the day was just getting started!

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[outercrasis]

The Distance - Ch 9

Pairing: Din Djarin x Pilot F!Reader (reader is petite/no other descriptors)

Word Count/Rating: 2.5k / T (will become M/E in later chapters)

Warnings: none really, just some technobabble

Summary: Din has another surprise in store for you.

Previous || Series Masterlist || Next

You wake up naturally the next morning. Leaves soften the harshness of the sun's early rays, dulling the light before it reaches you. Sleep leaves easily and you feel ready to start your day. 

It’s an easy jump from your hammock to the forest floor. The morning air has a slight refreshing chill – the sun not yet fully heating up the planet’s surface.

Back at the Chimera, you grab some breakfast and find that Grogu has already woken up and snuck out of the bedroom. He patiently waits for his morning meal, sitting on a cargo box and blinking at you. You glance at the door to Din’s room. Not sure of the last time you saw him have a full night’s rest you decide to not disturb him and take Grogu outside with you. It's already beginning to warm up.

You lay a blanket out on the grass and sit, slowly enjoying the rest of your breakfast. Grogu is interested in getting your attention, but soon finds himself more than content to play with Tex instead. Cleaning all the muck out from Tex's wheels later will be well worth it.

Stomach full and content with the kid's safety, you dive into the datapad you brought out, filled to the brim with information on the Chimera and N1. You’re glad to see that there’s nothing in Tex’s diagnostic report that suggests another part affecting the flux stabilizers. They probably just need a good clean sooner than expected – additional build up from the added weight of the N1 getting hauled around. 

The Chimera has an otherwise healthy readout. There's a few parts you'll keep an eye out for at the next shop you come across, wanting to have them on hand, but it's nothing pressing.

Now you can get to what you're really excited for. The N1's schematics. You've recently been pouring over the old blueprints and documents you'd gathered on the N1 model, refreshing your memory on the intricate machinery. 

The Naboo engineers were truly innovators. The way they fit everything in like a jigsaw puzzle, streamlining the starfighter design and improving on it in nearly every way. It’s nearly perfect – a showpiece and a devastatingly effective weapon. You’re dying to see the changes Din made to the ship.

The change to the astromech socket was obvious from when you first laid eyes on the ship, but seeing the way the life support system was rerouted to the second area is another work of art. It’s a closed loop system with the main cockpit, ionic filtration keeping the air clean for both parties. The way the new ducts were added looked like they were always meant to be there.

The twin J-type engines are still intact despite the front cones being removed to expose the engine core. In addition to improved aesthetics, the streamlined look has the benefit of assisting with the ship’s speed and aerodynamics. It’s clear that speed is what Din was looking for – the cryogenic density combustion booster on the rear thruster unlike any modification you’ve ever seen before. Whatever mechanic worked on this ship knows their stuff for it to even work.

You audibly gasp when you discover the kineso-switch in the N1’s schematics. That is definitely not part of the stock model’s features. You’ve only ever seen a switch like that in the schematics of podracers or battlecruisers – the most reckless and most capable of handling that level of power. It’s hard to believe it’s even on the N1. Looking closer, you notice the cerium quantum limiter attached, which must be the only thing keeping the ship from shredding into pieces every time it’s used.

You continue to pour over the N1's readout. You make some notes here and there about some maintenance or possible improvements, but overall the ship is a beauty. Din took an already fast ship and souped it up to be one of the fastest in the galaxy – even without the hyperdrive booster ring. 

As distracted as you are, you don't notice the time slip past. At some point Tex and Grogu make their way back over to you and Grogu cuddles up beside you for a small sunny nap. You take the opportunity to bounce some ideas off Tex, trying to plan out a workable maintenance and upgrade schedule for both ships in your care.

You haven't given much thought as to where Din might be until you hear his footsteps on the Chimera's ramp. Looking in his direction, your mouth goes completely dry.

Din's at the end of the ramp completely devoid of his beskar, save for the helmet, casually rolling up the sleeves of his tight black undershirt. For a moment you think you're hallucinating.

There are days where you nearly forget that underneath all the armor he’s just a man. A broad, terrifying, warrior of a man, but a man all the same. Without the beskar he seems more real, more tangible. He isn’t just some impenetrable suit of armor this way, he’s soft and exposed. 

That's not to say he isn't still a large or intimidating figure. The beskar might add to the effect, but he's clearly still a force of his own. There's no hiding the wide set of his shoulders or strength of his arms without his usual layers to keep them covered up.

It makes sense to you now how he’s able to move so silently with his flashy second skin. All of his movements are fluid and natural – as though he’s never uncertain about what his next step will be. Watching the way his body moves is intoxicating. You hardly even realize that you’re staring until the t-visor turns to face you.

You look away quickly despite your obvious stare and clear your throat. You hope you can play it off as simple shock and not the gawking it had been. You look back to the datapad, trying to appear as engrossed as you had been a few moments before. The information on there might as well all be in Wookie now for all that you're processing it.

Din’s footsteps approach but you decide to ignore him. It might be best to not say anything until he does. 

He nudges you with his foot. “Up," he says.

You easily relent and tilt your head up towards him. He fills your vision, blocking out the sun with his broad frame. His arms are casually folded over his chest and you're overcome with two thoughts.

The first is that this is the most skin you've ever seen Din show at once. Both hands and forearms are bare and for a moment you consider asking if it's sacrilegious for him. You think better of it.

The second is the realization that Din has tattoos. You didn't notice them from a distance, but they're entirely impossible to miss now.

Heavy black ink decorates both arms and runs up underneath where his shirt still covers. The designs are symmetrical, feeling reminiscent of the appearance of his armor. Heavy, bold, and sharp lines with carefully designed curves. You want to reach out and trace them with your finger.

"Trying out a new look, big guy?" you tease, doing your best to distract from the multitude of thoughts currently racing through your mind. 

“Beskar seemed like a bad idea for what I have planned for you today.” That peaks your interest.

“What's that?"

It can't be blaster practice again. He'd left the armor on for that – a smart move all things considered. A stray blaster bolt wasn’t likely with the range he set up, but there’s always the possibility. 

“You’ll see, come on.”

You get the sense Din is enjoying being cryptic with you. He did it yesterday with the blasters and now today with whatever he has planned. It’s cute – there’s a lightness to it that you’ve never seen from him before. You refrain from telling him I told you so about this little break.

About a hundred yards from the Chimera, Din suddenly stops. Turning around, he slides his suspenders off his shoulders and asks, “Are you ready, can'gal?”

You have no idea what he’s talking about. And why is he getting further undressed? The two of you standing in a random part of the field – no range set up, no objects nearby in the grass, just you, an almost completely beskar-less Din, and the dirt beneath your feet. 

“Ready for what?”

Din taps his chest. “Hit me.”

You can’t help but laugh. He has to be joking. “What?” you manage to wheeze out.

He doesn’t seem bothered by your laughter, but he does seem a bit more serious than before. Din taps his chest again. “Hit me.”

You stop laughing, narrowing your eyes at him. His helmet gives away nothing, but he must mean it. Din wants you to punch him for some reason. You move slowly, just in case, and square up. You pull back your dominant hand and punch him as hard as you can, right in the center of his chest. He doesn’t even move and now your hand hurts. 

“Is that it?” he asks, his voice calm and even.

“What's that supposed to mean?” you ask, shaking out your hand.

“It means you’re going to have to try harder.”

You set your jaw and square up again. You throw another punch with the same results. For a chest that looks soft under his tight undershirt, it’s shockingly solid. It’s annoying how unphased he is by your attempts.

You start to square up again when Din reaches out and takes your hand. The unexpected touch makes you freeze for just a moment. His hand easily engulfs yours, but his hold is gentle.

“Your fist is too loose,” he tells you. Carefully, he repositions your fist, bringing your thumb in tight over your fingers. “Now, try again.”

You steel yourself, keeping your hand how Din positioned it. You punch him again. He still doesn’t move, but this one at least forces a grunt of air out of his lungs. 

“Better.”

Din has you keep using him as a personal punching bag. You'd worry if it seemed like your punches had any affect on him at all. There's the occasional grunt, but that's about all the feedback you get. He's a statue. An annoyingly large, beefy, and warm statue.

After a while, he must decide you have the basic form down because he begins to lightly spar. Din throws out simple punches here and there, forcing you to block and making note of what you do to fight back. None of your punches are landing anymore – his are. 

He’s obviously holding back, only using a fraction of his strength, but the punches still hurt. As he slowly tears you down physically, he critiques you verbally, telling you when you’re too slow, too obvious, and too open. He takes advantage of these flaws, attacking you until you fall backwards, tripping over your own feet.

Your chest heaves as you look up at him. He barely glances at your miserable shape and says, “Get up.”

“Maker, give me a second,” you spit back. You hate this. He’s not even being mean about it, just distanced and calculating. You want to scream in frustration. There's none of the elation you felt at yesterday's target practice. 

You slowly get back up from the dirt and it starts all over again. Din makes small adjustments to your form, capitalizes on your weak spots, remains unaffected by any lucky shots you manage to land, and before you know it your backside is hitting the ground again. You stay there for a moment, reveling in your misery.

“K’atini!" Din shouts at you. "I don’t know how you even made it off Rishi."

You don’t recognize the first word he said, but you don’t like the tone in which he said it, and the reminder of your fight on Rishi just feels like a low blow. He’s not the kind, patient teacher you had while shooting yesterday. With hand-to-hand combat Din has become testy and you aren’t even sure why because you haven’t landed a punch in what seems like forever.

You force yourself back up to your feet and face him again. This time as you fight, Din stops his constant critique. Instead, he just aims for your weak spots, taking advantage of all the ways in which you leave yourself open.

“Cut it out!” you yell, barely blocking another punch.

“Nar dralshy’a, can’gal!” Din shouts back. You don’t think he notices that he isn’t speaking Basic.

You continue your attempts to land a single punch, anything, to no avail. It’s maddening. You’re trying your hardest, your absolute best, and it’s useless against him. You can hardly figure out what you’re doing wrong as you try to prevent further hits from landing. 

He isn’t going easy on you anymore. You know his punches still aren’t as hard as they could be, but they’re faster now, more complex, and barely giving you time to react to one before the other is flying at you. 

The final straw comes when a punch comes too close to knocking the air clean out of your lungs. No one can call this sparring or teaching anymore. You’ve had enough. You barely manage a block, turn on your heel, and march in the direction of the Chimera.

“We’re not done,” Din calls after you, his voice not leaving room for argument. You don’t look back. He's stupid if he thinks that'll work on you. His hand wraps around your wrist, not too hard, but enough to pull you back towards him. 

“I said, we aren’t done.” He drops your wrist as you turn back around. At least he isn’t willing to give you a totally unfair fight.

“Fuck off! I’m done, alright? I’m tired and my body hurts and I am done,” you shout.

Stepping forward, Din moves quickly to block your path. You stop short, staring angrily into his helmet where you assume behind it he’s staring right back. 

In a pattern that seems to be repeating itself over and over today, Din is unrelenting. You try to pass him again only for him to block you once more. You've never hated his brick wall of a body more.

You can feel the rage in every fiber of your being. Blood pounds in your ears and your muscles tense. A scream is welling in your throat – a demand for him to let you pass. Before you unleash your fury, Din suddenly grunts and collapses to one knee.

Looking down, you see Tex sitting right behind Mando with one of his arms out, the end still sparking blue. Under normal circumstances you'd admonish Tex and check to see if Din is okay but this isn't that. You take the opportunity Tex has given and run back to the Chimera.

Back in your room, you throw yourself onto your unmade bed and stare at the ceiling wondering what the fuck just happened.

Don't be too mad at Din, we'll get an explanation sooner rather than later here...

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated 💕 feel free to jump in my ask box too!

Everything: @radiowallet @pilothusband @max--phillips  @starlightmornings @moonlight-prose @practicalghost  @sharkbait77  @honestly-shite  @shadesofnerdlygrace  @salome-c @artsymaddie @katronautt @magikfanatic  @astoryisaloveaffair  @tintinn16  @mswarriorbabe80  @phandoz  @amneris21  @tenderwhat  @asta-lily  @chaoticgeminate  @snarwor  @stardust-galaxies  @readsalot73  @xoxabs88xox  @harriedandharassed  @alexxavicry  @alwaysdjarin  @karlawithacapitalk @silver-pieces

The Distance: 

@girlofchaos @elinedjarin @fennccshand @balekanemohafe @jazzelsaur @jessiceezy  @daddydindjarin

[roo-bastmoon]

Let's talk about Yoongi and Taeyang

My thoughts and impressions of this episode are below the cut to avoid spoilers for folks.

Okay so first of all, let's all agree that our Lil Meow Meow was going THROUGH IT. He started fanboying before he could even get to the introduction and he was consistently twitterpated throughout the entire show. Adorbs.

I won't recap everything, but a few things stood out to me as significant insights into character.

Taeyang mentioned he used to eat only one meal a day. (As someone recovering from disordered eating, I have VIEWS about this but let me hush up and stay on topic.) Then he said when he served in the military, he had to eat three meals a day and do physical labor, so he gained 10kgs (22lbs). Which by the way is still a healthy weight. And he said he had to "work hard" to lose it again. I hate this. I hope all our boys come back from their time in the military used to regular meals, regular sleeping hours, a regular BMI and stick to it. They will have the power to reshape the standards of the industry if they refuse to make themselves fit into a smaller space. Just my opinion and I doubt I'll be changing it any time ever.

Taeyang said Jimin re-recorded their song 15 times. As far as I know based on the documentaries and Masterclasses I've watched from other famous musicians, singers, and songwriters, studio time is precious, even if you own the studio. Recording is expensive. A great deal of time is spent after recording on mixing the best takes to get to one master track. But our Jimin seems to have wanted to get it perfect all in one. He really does hold himself to a standard higher than most Grammy winners; I'm not kidding.

Yoongi then of course praises Jimin for his work ethic. The praise, THE PRAISE, Y'ALL. I LIVE. Jimin keeps working even when he cramps up in pain, our dear artist... Remember when he couldn't go to Jin's birthday party because he was recovering from muscle cramps? We called it; it was because of choreo.

Interesting how in the same breath, Yoongi compared Jungkook's organic genius to Jimin's effortful genius. I'm a huge Jikook fan but I don't want to make this out to be a shipping moment, because honestly it's just about styles of approach to work. And this isn't the first time we've heard this about Jikook as a unit. We hear it from members, producers, friends, choreographers, collaborators...

Yoongi also is sure to rat Jimin out about how much he mimicked and idolized Taeyang as a teen and it's like... you're saying this while admitting to doing the exact same thing and knowing all his songs, but still, it's super sweet. It reminds me of when Yoongi admitted to writing fanfic, lol. Even better is how Taeyang mentions several times he knows all of BTS' work. That's a discography of 200+, my friends.

But seeing Yoongi praise both Jimin and Taeyang so highly makes me wish that this episode came out before VIBE released. Maybe his trusted perspective would have softened the resistance many people felt toward supporting the project.

Especially because Taeyang really comes across as a good guy. He seems humble, considerate, grounded, a team-player, sensible, deep-thinking, and kind. He also seems to be focused on being a family man, making good music, and becoming a role model for the next generation. Now yes, both times I've seen him this way, he's appearing on TV to promote his single. But as far as we can know a celebrity while they are in front of a hot camera, I feel like his character is genuine enough, and I trust the tannies when they say they ALL admire and respect him deeply.

BTS has been around in the industry long enough to know when people are full of shit. And yeah, there are some seriously problematic assholes in Big Bang. There were legit scandals involving drugs and sex trafficking. I won't be rushing out to consume their products. But they did play a part in shaping BTS and Taeyang shouldn't be painted with the same brush just because he landed in the same group. He seems like someone who might have matured out of a lot of mistakes, like appropriating hairstyles or speaking on subjects outside his lived experience. I'm willing to give him a chance, here, in 2023, to get it right.

I also appreciate how honest and vulnerable Yoongi was and continues to be the moment he gets a few drinks in him. Talking about being so nervous without his members for That, That that he wanted to throw up. Mentioning the fear and disappointment when news of their hiatus caused all hell to break loose. Stating openly and without any qualifiers that he loves his members. To me, this is healing.

Yoongi was also adorable as fuck, let's face it. Giggly, blushing, toe-tapping, squirming, gushing, flirting Min Yoongi managed to ask Taeyang if he could produce a song for him (as if anyone in the world would say no thanks). And Taeyang is like "come over to my house and eat dinner with Jimin, I'll cook kimchi jiggae for you guys."

Oh and by the way, Taeyang and Joon apparently go to dinner and hang out and go to museums? AND WE WOULD NEVER KNOW. Do you know why? Because unless they choose to share aspects of their personal lives with us, WE DON'T ACTUALLY SEE THE MAJORITY OF THEIR PERSONAL LIVES. So just because you don't see evidence of members hanging out doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Everyone needs to chill about this with regards to Jikook. They went to ground around the same time that bullshit insurance premiums "scandal" broke and they've been to ground since. That's all.

Side note: Considering the shitstorm online earlier this week because Taehyung followed T-Top for a few hours on Instagram, I'm wondering if 2023 is the year most of the tannies stick to work-only promotions for their social media. You get burned enough, there's no payoff in sharing your vulnerable sides with strangers. It's such a shame, because we had a window to their inner landscapes, a glimpse at their real personalities and their real lives, but ruiners ruin everything. So a special Fuck You to people sending them hate for following or working with people you don't like. Know your place as a fan. Feel free to protest with your pocketbook but don't you dare talk shit and spread hate.

I digress. Back to Suchwita.

Taeyang advised Yoongi to surround himself with good people (members, staff, friends)... people who can tell him no. They had a great talk about staying realistic and humble, reminding themselves all things come to an end, being normal and grounded.

THIS is what makes BTS so easy to champion. They are uniquely talented, clearly the most hardworking, and even have streaks of artistic genius. But they forever remain set in a beginner's mind. They are the top dogs in their industry with an underdog mindset. I love this about them enough to set alarms to vote for awards and buy multiple copies of their work so they chart. I, Roo, who has never been to a popular music concert in all her 43 years; never been a groupie of anyone; never owned a piece of merch--I want them to succeed because I know they will never take it for granted.

And they keep it simple, even when it comes to how they work. Now, as someone who writes for a living and does bullet journaling every day as part of my therapy, I cannot tell you how delighted I was to learn that Yoongi writes with a pen and Taeyang with a typewriter. I am exactly the same. There's something intimate about it. I type more than 95 words a minute for work but it's not the same when crafting something personal. I also write original works better away from a designated work space--it's too much pressure to sit in a sterile environment and try to create. Real, meaningful words come from real, messy, organic moments in life. I just loved this level of detail in their conversation.

All in all, this was just such a great episode. I feel like I got to know both men better, was shown real insight into their mindsets, learned about their lives and work, and so I felt excited about VIBE.

Speaking of VIBE, we still need lots more sales to help Jimin get to Hot 100. Please contact accounts on twitter to get a gift card, make another itunes or amazon account, and buy it again, if you cannot persuade others to buy-in. Jimin worked so hard and wanted this so badly. I'm deeply troubled that ARMY couldn't cough up a buck-twenty-nine for him. It's like With You all over again. Unacceptable.

We are up against Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, and Sam Smith. We need the sales to get the points. We have a day and a half to get it right. PLEASE buy it.

We also only need 1.2 million more views on YouTube to get it to 50 million in its first week, so please stream today and tomorrow!

Consider it practice for next month, when PJM1 drops. Because by all accounts--from everyone who has ever worked with Jimin--he deserves it.

If you got this far, thanks for reading. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments!

Yours,

Roo

[aboutdifferentthings]

Jess and Rory are no jerk and no failure and they got together.

I just read too many things about Jess being a jerk and about Rory being a failure that I could not take it anymore and I know I am late to the party but I was not sure I wanted to watch the revival or seasons four to seven. I have only been able to watch it because I saw a post with Jess looking Rory through a window and just thought, ey, they meet again, they are together. And here I am. I will just let it out. 

When we meet Jess in season two he is a seventeen years old, an adolescent no one believes in. No one. I love season two: Jess and Rory have all these beautiful moments and he makes me laugh so much, they both do. But if you listen carefully you understand what kind of life Jess has been having and how he feels about it.  I won’t defend every decision Jess made  but the conversation with Rory in the car is so meaningful: “Ask my mother, principal or even your mother who does not even know me” no one, absolutely no one expects anything from him.  The principal in school tells Luke he has no interest in the subjects, other students or anything else and if you think about it, it makes sense: he has grown up probably by himself, no one really took care of him so he found refuge in his books and sarcasm. He needs really loud music to sleep, probably not to hear whatever was going on at home. He is not good with the small talk because he is use to be by his own and once again: he is seventeen, can we not forget this? In fact I find he has quite a lot self control sometimes (specially in 2x05) but that would take too long to elaborate here. 

And Rory is just so sweet. The only one able to connect with him, and to realize the potential he has got. I love how she tries to fight against this general opinion against Jess, she is the  best. The problem with Rory is that she has been living in a bubble where she is perfection and she thinks she needs to keep it like that and this is really difficult to break. All these feelings she is having, she is constantly doubting them because no one is able to validate them. To tell her, ey, it is normal, tell me about Jess, why is he so interesting? Instead of that her mother and best friend is constantly acting like if she was going crazy  for becoming friends with him and risking his relationship with Dean (do not get me started with him…) From minute one, she is so unfair with them that it really hurts. Lorelai is really unbearable in relation to Jess).

It is just specially painful to see that even when they are wonderful together they drift apart because they both have issues they need to work on. They could have done it together but in order to do that they would have need some adult support and they do not have it (Jess not at all and Rory not in the way she needs it). And I do not want to be unfair with Luke, he is a good soul, he tries… Jess understands it years later but at that moment it does not feel like real support, and it is not. 

Jess gets lost and he hurts her deeply because she will never be able to find that level of connection again and she is so afraid of suffering again the same way that she would never go for it. 

When Jess comes back in season four he his still not ready. I could write an essay about how he is right in a lot of the things he says and feels but he does not know how to articulate them. Rory loves him, she does and she always will but she is still hurting. He does not apologize, he does not tell her why even feeling what he feels.  he did what he did. On both occasions he just drops the bomb and leaves ( I think second one happens mainly because Dean was there. He would probably have said something different in other circumstances) And it breaks my heart. Rory needed an I am sorry I hurt you, an explanation of why she was abandoned and the reassurance it will not happen again. She needed to hear an ‘I will wait for you no matter how long and no matter where’ He may had the intention to say it but he can’t deliver it because he is not ready yet: he has too much unresolved trauma and seeing Dean just brings everything out. 

So she gets in this absurd relationships with Dean and Logan (the worst, absolutely the worst, no doubt) . When the bubble breaks she is just not able to navigate through life. 

And life goes by, it turns out Jess finds himself. Jess finally starts believing in himself. He is resilient and he has held onto the feeling he could do anything he wanted Rory had about him. He could not have written the book without her because he has held onto his love for her and doing so he wrote a book, got it published and pushed through life the same way he always has. He has found people that get him and he gets to be in a good place. He has matured. 

Next two times he sees Rory, he is in the position to say it, to offer her everything to really start a beautiful life together. He has put his pieces together, he is calm and happy with what he is doing. But guess what, Rory is a mess. And it is ok, it is  totally  believable. Sometimes in life, things don’t go as we want and you are a mess and you throw everything away and you just let it go. Jess just helps her to go back ( partially) on her feet. . He doesn’t try to win her back because he understands it is not the right moment. He is ready, she is not. And she tells him she loves Logan ( Logan of all: the one he has nothing in common with, the one that cheats on her, the one who does not care if she leaves Yale or anything she does, the kind of guy they made fun of) because to ‘love’ Logan is easier,  because if she does not have the deep connection, it won’t hurt that much and it doesn’t. She finally rejects his proposal and he leaves and she is fine, it does not hurt that much because it was not real love. He is not her soul mate. He will never be. 

And now they are both 32 and Jess has grown better and better. Although we do not get to know a lot about his relationships he has nothing permanent. He could have found love, we could have seen him happy. That also happens in real life. You really move on, you are lucky enough  to have a mature fulfilling relationship and live a happy life but he does not. Jess had a lot things going on in his life but he has never cheated on anyone or lied to himself about his feelings, so probably just casual relationships without attachment because he knows it would not work, he is not over her.

The thing is that she is still having issues. Awful relationships she knows are not going anywhere and same thing with jobs. She has lost contact with her feelings and her passions and when that happens it is not easy to go on. But guess who is going to put her in contact with her feelings again. He does. Starting with the book. And when she goes on writing, well that will make her remember how it was to feel real love. And well yeah, we have an open ending, which is not my favorite but I get to write my own ending and to play it in my head. Because that look through the window, that happiness when she showed him the three chapters, that is a lot. And they will need to talk about feelings, about wounds and also about books and about the future because now they are ready to heal and to start over no matter where. Together. 

[declinlalune]

Onward and Upward || Andy & Arden

TIMING: early june. LOCATION: downtown / harborside. PARTIES: @stainedglasstruth & @declinlalune SUMMARY: double a run into one another and decide to go on a picnic! CONTENT WARNINGS: n/a

With pride celebrations underway, the bakery had been a little more busy than usual. The street just outside the shop was busy with constant foot traffic, and while Andy typically liked the way being in a rush felt, the day had been tiresome. She had the day off, but she still went in to support, grabbing a few different loaves of bread and a box of bear claws. Distracted as she was leaving thanks to the slew of people, she barely registered running right into Arden. Her shoulder connected with the other woman’s and the box of baked goods nearly flew from her hands. 

“Oh, shit.” She steadied the other woman, holding the pink box close to her chest. “You okay?” She looked down at the woman’s feet to make sure she hadn’t twisted an ankle or anything. Andy looked up to meet her gaze and she smiled. “Hey, it’s been awhile.” It’d only been a few weeks, and though she hadn’t known Arden then, there was something about watching somebody be so vulnerable on a small stage. She still remembered the way that Arden’s poem had made her feel. A little empty, maybe, and hopeful, too. “How’ve you been?”

—

It had been an interesting couple of weeks for Arden. First, Nicole had come out to her about being a balam, then she’d slept with a nix– in both definitions of the word. She had also been catching up on work after trying some migraine medications that ended up just wrecking her sleep and making her nauseous. But she had finally found one that worked after going to the specialist Dr. Kavanagh had referred her to. And it was Pride month, too, which gave her the perfect excuse to finally stop by Bread Cemetery. She could get some pride themed treats for herself and her roommates, maybe get some more pins, and perhaps even see a certain red head?

She’d stopped by the grocery store first, grabbing a few things they needed and some snacks because they always needed snacks, before heading over to the bakery. As she got closer, Arden could see the shop was pretty busy. It seemed that the gays of Wicked’s Rest were excited for some gay little treats, which she loved to see. It did mean that she’d be waiting in line and wouldn’t get an opportunity to talk to Andy. Or Lil or Jonas. Whoever was working that day. 

A twinge of disappointment ran through her, but, you know, it was probably for the best she shouldn’t–

Someone bumped into her shoulder, nearly sending the tote bag of groceries to the ground, though she thankfully caught it in the crook of her elbow. She blinked as Andy herself steadied her. “Uh, yeah, I’m good,” she replied, a little dazed at the fact that she had literally just run into the woman she’d been thinking about. Granted, it was in front of the place she worked, but still.

“You?” Pulling the bag up over her shoulder, Arden looked over the other, a small smile tugging at her lips as she remembered how adorably flustered Andy had gotten that night. Goddammit. “It has, yeah. I’ve been wanting to stop by, but it’s been a busy couple of weeks,” she explained, tucking a few stray strands behind her ear. “Can’t complain, though.” She absolutely could, but that was irrelevant. “How have you been?”

—

“It happens.” Andy opened the box, frowning slightly to see that Jonas had snuck in a pride cookie. She didn’t like getting things for free, even if she did believe in petty theft. But that was only towards people who deserved it. She closed the box and looked up at Arden again. 

Her gaze flickered to the bag of groceries that Arden was holding, then she looked back up to meet her eyes. Arden stood only a few inches taller than her, and it wasn’t something she’d really noticed when they’d been sitting down listening to others speak their poetry, but it was apparent now. Andy shrugged. “Things outside of work have been slow for the most part. I’m trying to make a dresser, but that’s… well, it’s going.” With a laugh, Andy ran a hand through her hair with free hand. It was a little windy, and of course it would be on the day she didn’t wear a braid. 

“Good though, I mean…” Andy thought for a moment, “aside from the headaches, the crabs, my cousin’s snoring– good.” She flashed a smile at Arden, stepping to the side as somebody moved around them. “What about you? Were you going somewhere? Looks like you’re loaded up for a picnic or something.” Andy knew that Arden was roommates with Zack and she briefly wondered if there was something else there before remembering that Arden had explained that Zack was sort of seeing that one weirdo named Levi. 

—

Arden’s anxiety flared a bit as she saw Andy open the box and frown. “Ah, crap, did they get ruined? I’m sorry, I was a little distracted.” Never mind the fact that she had only been distracted because she was thinking about Andy. Irrelevant. 

She had a nice laugh, the kind that brought a smile to her face just from hearing it. “You’re making a dresser? That’s pretty impressive, even if it is slow-going,” she replied, noting the other had her hair down today. It was a good look, framed her faced nicely, and added a bit more contrast to her pale skin, making the freckles on her face that much more noticeable. Arden also spied the scar running across her cheek, something that had gone unnoticed under the dim lights of the Red Eye. She wondered if there was a story behind that. 

Cousin, right. She vaguely recalled Andy mentioning something about a cousin while they were chatting at the cafe. “Oh, yeah, how's the chapstick been treating you? Helping at all with the headaches?” She personally hadn’t noticed much of a difference after trying it, but her migraines were always miserable. Hopefully that wouldn’t be much of a problem anymore. 

“Man, it's busy today, huh?” she asked as they moved out of the way. “Not really, I was just picking up a few things from the store, and figured I’d stop by and check out the Pride stuff. Looks like I might have better luck if I came back another day, though,” she smiled. “But, I’m glad folks are excited about it. Wicked’s Rest has always been pretty progressive, but it’s nice to see that it’s just gotten more openly gay in my time away.” Arden paused for a moment, an idea wreaking havoc on her stomach. “Were you heading somewhere?”

—

“No, no. They didn’t. Jonas just snuck something extra in, didn’t expect him to.” It wasn’t like he wouldn’t have listened to her telling him not to, anyway. Andy held the box carefully, not wanting to accidentally crush the contents that were inside. 

Andy shook her head, mildly embarrassed. “I say it’s a dresser, but it’s more like a shelf with two holes and… another shelf underneath.” She had wanted to try and make it for Kaden so that he would have some place to put his things rather than in his suitcases, but she didn’t have enough wood, and she didn’t exactly feel right going around chopping down the trees in their area. She’d have to buy it pre-cut and sanded, she thought. “But I’ll let you think it’s cool if you really want to.” 

“Mmm, it’s been working a little. Not great, but it’s more like a mixture of spearmint and sulfur not, not just the sulfur.” Andy wrinkled her nose to try and smell her upper lip. She had just reapplied some. “But then I have to do this and it just looks a little stupid.” Andy wasn’t really sure why she had decided to show Arden what she did in order to better smell the chapstick. “Sorry– but um, how about you? How are yours? The headaches, I mean.” 

Andy turned to look back inside of the shop, then looked back at Arden with a smile. “A little, yeah. Has been like this on the street since the first.” She shifted the box around slightly so that she could smooth down the tape with her index finger. “I could always let you know? I’ve got a front row seat to the foot traffic, usually.” Andy’s smile grew a little wider as she looked down at the bags Arden was holding. “It’s cool, seeing the community come together, absolutely.” She and Alex hadn’t had much of one before moving to Wicked’s Rest. Andy refused to consider what they had been raised into as a community. “Mmm? I was thinking of going somewhere, just not sure. Didn’t want to go home.” She paused for a moment. “Any suggestions?” 

—

“Oh, that’s really sweet of him,” Arden smiled. She didn’t know Jonas personally, but from everything she had seen and heard about him both in school and now, he seemed to be a very kind individual, and Andy seemed fond of him. 

She tried to picture the half constructed dresser, but her mind betrayed her, supplying her instead with an image of Andy building it, looking very buff and concentrated, aaaand that was enough, brain, thanks. “Hey, I mean, that’s progress,” she shrugged. “The best I could do is, like, assembling IKEA furniture, so yes, even attempting to build a dresser from scratch is very impressive to me.” Living on her own for six years had taught her how to be somewhat handy, but making things was on a whole other level. 

Arden bit down on her lip, trying very hard not to laugh at the cute scrunched up face Andy made. Fuck, she was cute. “I, uh,” she started, trying to contain her grin, “you’re fine. And the migraines have been a struggle,” an understatement, “but I’ve finally found a medication that works, so I’ve been feeling so much better.” After over a month of dealing with it, she was finally feeling like herself again. 

“I mean, that works. If you wouldn’t mind, that is.” Avoiding the crowds and being able to talk to Andy? That sounded like a pretty good deal. And she was thinking of heading somewhere, too. “Oh, well, I was thinking about heading over to Harborside, and checking out Hanging Rock,” she said, trying to sound nonchalant. “I haven’t been there since the weather’s gotten nicer, but the view is always nice.” She had been wanting to visit now that they were getting into the summer months. She hadn’t exactly been planning on going today, but…  “Would you care to join me?”

—

“It is, yeah. He’s sweet.” After meeting him, he’d quickly become one of Andy’s favorite people. Lil, too. Andy had gotten lucky on where she’d ended up landing a job. June had been kind enough to take her in as an assistant, even without any experience at an actual bakery. 

Andy laughed before shaking her head. “I’m sure you could make a birdhouse, if you really tried.” Andy was sure Arden could do anything she put her mind to, especially after the poem she’d read. Even now, Andy still felt like that’d taken more guts than most things she’d done. “But hey, appreciate the vote of confidence.” Andy hadn’t realized it, but her cheeks were beginning to hurt from smiling so wide. She reached up, rubbing at the side of her jaw, suddenly embarrassed. 

Her expression morphed into something of concern as Arden explained that her migraines were still a problem. Andy’s brows knit together as she tried to recall any and all remedies that’d been suggested to her. “Medication is good. Some tea might help, too. There’s a place downtown that has a ton of different stuff, and Meera is really um.. smart, so she could probably help you figure it out.” Hopefully the meds would continue to help. “It’s good to hear that they’re doing their job, though.” 

As Arden explained her plans, Andy nodded along as if she’d known them all along. “That sounds nice.” She’d been there only a few times, but she knew the history of Hanging Rock and it made her stomach knot in anxiety. Though, if Arden were to– 

“Oh, I’d love to.” Maybe too quick on the draw, idiot. Andy cleared her throat. “Sure, I– I can drive?” Her jeep would be able to take the incline like a champ, and she wasn’t sure what kind of vehicle that Arden had. “Sorry, I’m just– I’m parked down that way.” Too quick, too quick. “Or you can, if you want?” 

—

Arden grinned. “I mean, I’m incredibly persistent and stubborn, so if I really wanted to, probably. No guarantees it’d actually be good, though.” She shot Andy a pair of finger guns because she was stupid and awkward and bisexual– sue her, okay? Seeing the other rubbing at her cheeks, though, made her realize just how much she’d been smiling, too. She was truly useless. 

“I’m not usually much of a tea person, but I’ll give it a try. Maybe peppermint tea would be something to try?” She made a mental note to stop by the shop sometime. “I do really appreciate all the suggestions. Hopefully the meds will keep helping out. Or the smell goes away because that would also be so nice.”

Biting back a chuckle at Andy’s speedy reply, Arden gave her a smile. “That’d be great, actually. I left mine back at home, figured I’d go for a walk now that I can handle the smell a bit better.” After a moment she added, “It’s still absolutely repulsive, to be clear, but I kept my time outdoors to a minimum while I was figuring this all out, so it’s just nice being outside more. But anyway–” She nodded her head at the other woman, “Lead the way.”

—

“They just need to make their nests in it, not much else.” Andy shrugged. “I’m sure it’d be suitable.” When Arden shot her finger guns, Andy’s jaw slackened slightly and she snorted. “What was that?” Shaking her head, she looked in the direction of Bread Cemetery one more time. 

“I’ve only recently got into tea, but I’m more of a coffee person.” Andy nodded at Arden’s question about peppermint tea. “If the meds don’t work, which I mean, I hope that they do, I definitely recommend checking out something like that.” There had to be something else that could work too, Andy thought, but she wasn’t sure if suggesting something magical to a human (or assumed human) would do any real good. 

“You’re starting to like the smell… I don’t get it, but more power to you.” She wasn’t sure if the joke fell flat or if it soared, so Andy supplied Arden with a stupid grin, motioning the other woman to follow her in the direction of her jeep. She got into the driver’s seat, putting the baked goods in the back seat and reached over to unlock the passenger side door for Arden. 

“I only have a cassette player, but you can try and get the aux cord to work, if you really want.” She handed the wire over to Arden before putting on her seatbelt. “It sounds like shit most of the time, so I usually have to put my phone on speaker.” Andy scrunched her nose before looking over at her company. “Ready?” 

—

Arden shrugged. Her perfectionist tendencies had a tendency of flaring up on those sorts of personal projects with no set deadline, so she could just picture driving herself crazy trying to make a birdhouse that worked and didn’t look like shit. Not that she really cared to, nor did she have much use for a birdhouse personally, living in an apartment and all. 

She flushed, though, at Andy’s laughter, wishing a hole would appear under her to save her from her embarrassment. At least it was a cute laugh. “I don’t know,” she laughed. Covering her face with her hands for a moment, she could feel the heat radiating off of her cheek. 

“Oh, I’m with you there, I’m a coffee menace.” If these meds didn’t work, she was going to lose her fucking mind, but sure, she would try the tea after that. “Yeah, well, fingers crossed, they do” she said, crossing her fingers as she spoke. “But, again, I appreciate all the suggestions.” It had not been fun dealing with all of this, but it was nice to know some people cared. Even a little.

She chuckled, more amused by Andy’s delivery and adorable grin than the actual joke. Trailing behind, she followed the redhead over to a parked Jeep. Arden waited outside as the other got in and unlocked the door for her. It was clearly an old, well-loved car, the fact made even more apparent when Andy mentioned the cassette player. She accepted the cord after buckling up. “Oh, I mean, I can just play stuff off my phone if that’s easier. What’s the vibe, what are we feeling?” She wasn’t sure if her go-to playlist would be to the other’s liking. Her taste had previously been described as ‘stoner dad music.’ “Ready when you are.”

—

“Um…” Andy paused for a moment before starting the jeep. Her music taste was all over the place. She could listen to virtually anything, aside from country music. Call it distaste, or maybe some kind of PTSD over Tennessee. “Whatever is fine.” That was better, she thought. To let Arden choose, especially because she was the one with the cord to begin with. She threw the jeep into drive and pulled away from the curb, heading towards Harborside. 

The drive would have been short and sweet, if not for the foot traffic. Andy didn’t mind, though. For the hours spent traveling across the states with Alex in tow, she actually didn’t mind driving. Maybe it wasn’t the best time to do so, but driving gave her time to clear her mind, and though Arden was in the passenger seat next to her, it didn’t bother her one bit. She pulled off onto one of the viewpoints, taking in the deep brown sign that advised them of a lookout point, towards Hanging Rock. 

“I’ve thought about running here a few times.” She liked the woods better, it was more familiar, despite the way she often mistook sap for blood among other things. Andy turned the jeep off and looked over at Arden with a smile. “You want to go down? Or up?” The topmost viewpoint from Hanging Rock would be spectacular, but Andy wasn’t sure how her company felt about heights. “I think the trail starts over there.” She motioned towards the dirt path that dipped down and then back up towards the rocky structure. 

—

Plugging the cord into her phone, she hesitated for a moment, feeling oddly anxious about sharing her music with the other. There was something about it that felt a little too vulnerable, in a way that made her skin prickle. But Andy had already seen Arden with her masks down, close to tears, in front of a crowd of people. If that hadn’t killed her, a few songs certainly wouldn’t. 

The aux cord was a bust, so she ended up just turning up her volume, filling the car with the familiar tunes of her playlist as they slowly made their way toward the cliffside park. This wasn't a common occurrence for her, being in the passenger seat, but she found it kind of relaxing. Even though she and Andy didn’t speak much on the drive there, the silence was a comfortable one. And if she spent a portion of the ride sneaking looks at the other? Well, that was totally, definitely not on purpose. Also, shut up. 

“Oh, the trail here’s great. Running up will kick your ass, and the view makes it worth it every time,” Arden grinned. “I used to run it all the time back in college.” Between living in Deersprings and her frequent visits to the headquarters in Oldtown, she had often found herself strolling through Harborside in those days. She turned the music off as Andy turned to her. “I wouldn’t mind going up, if that’s alright with you.” It was a nice day for it, the breeze of the water cool and not so strong that it would be bothersome. Directing her gaze to where the other had pointed, she nodded as she noticed the familiar path. “That’s it, yeah. You good to go?”

—

Andy wasn’t the kind of person to turn towards what was comfortable, not by a long shot. But she did like familiar things, and Hanging Rock was not one of them. Arden, maybe– she could be one of them. A friendly face in a sea of mishaps. Andy liked the idea of making friends who wouldn’t expect much from her. She could be normal, or as close as she could get to it. In this town, that was a blessing. Whether or not Arden was harboring some secret about herself wasn’t for Andy to speculate, and so she returned her company’s smile with her own. 

“That sounds like a lot. The running up it.” She craned her neck to get a good look at the trailhead from the window of her jeep. “But sure, we can go up.” She didn’t mind, really. The view probably would be worth it, after all. Andy got out of the jeep and closed the door with her hip, grabbing the items from the back seat before returning to Arden’s side at the trailhead. “Couldn’t forget the important stuff.” She lifted the picnic items, swaying slightly in case Arden tried to take the items from her in a show of help. “Upward and onward, that’s what they say, right?” 

In Arden’s company, things seemed normal– kind, almost. She liked that. Andy looked up towards the sky as they trekked, the bad thoughts and doubts simmering below her ability to be a yes man. Maybe she could make friends and hold onto those friendships. It’d been years and she’d been reluctant, so now was as good of time as any, right? 

[stormyoceans]

Have a nice day, Monica! 🌸How are you feeling? Do you sleep better or are you worried about insomnia? I have a question for you: what are your favorite interviews with JimmySea? Can you make a top? I like their interviews, where the boys tell something special about their character, about hobbies outside the set or about their family. But I think the most favorite interview is Mint Hang Out. Very beautiful bright cafe, delicious dishes, Jimmy and Sea in flirting mode, and Jimmy, who did not come out of the image of Puen, because there were shootings the day before, and driving everyone crazy with gentle looks. Take care of yourself!🌸

hello, dear anon!!!! 💜

this is such a sweet message and that’s also a very interesting question!!! unfortunately im not the best at keeping track with interviews and events, so im probably going to miss some major one, but im going to try to make a small list of my favorites anyway!!!

praew magazine Q&A. YOU WILL NEVER GET ME TO ADMIT HOW MANY TIMES I’VE REWATCHED THIS INTERVIEW JUST KNOW I WOULD HAVE ORDERLIES AT MY DOOR READY TO DRAG ME INTO A PADDED ROOM IF I ADMITTED IT OUT LOUD. im not sure why i like it so much tbh, maybe because it’s a recent one and you can really see how much more comfortable they are in front of the camera and with each other, especially sea. my favorite part is how after the 15th time sea touched jimmy’s leg in the span of 3 minutes even the editor of the video was like if im forced to bare witness to things not even god could withstand then so are y’all [zooms in]

mint hang out vlog. jimmy truly be having some residual method acting left in his system with how ridiculously FOND he looks throughout the entire video. the only reason it doesn't get first place to me is because technically this isn’t exactly an interview but more of a vlog, as the title says, however since i love it and the ACTUAL interview doesn’t have any subs (if anyone asks this is my villain origin story btw) i’ve decided that i don’t care and that im gonna add it to the list anyway. ALSO THIS PERFECTLY SHOWS WHY WE NEED A JIMMYSEA EATING PROGRAM @ GMMTV LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE!!!!!!

our skyy vice versa interview. LISTEN i know it doesn't have any subs so it's not fully accessible to international fans, however it deserved a place here even just for THEE HUG™, i know it was for a challenge but sea clearly didn't expect it and you can tell he is SO DELIGHTED by it AND SO AM I OKAY IDK WHAT TO TELL YOU I AM ONLY HUMAN. also even if you don't know what they're talking about the vibes are just so immaculate and unmatched i would listen to them FOR HOURS

open the world interview. im so very fond of this one because i feel like it's a very good starting point to get to know them. sea is still very shy here, but you learn a lot of things that if you follow them for a while you find out are true: that behind the scenes sea is clingy and determined, that jimmy is always there to guide him, that the way they express their love (even the platonic kind) is by supporting and taking care of the other person, that they do end up spending time together swimming and singing and wakeboarding......

let's talk BL podcast. i knew i could trust them with my life when they were asked which was their favorite vice versa episode and jimmy replied that it was episode 10 (because he is so proud of himself for the derangement he unleashed upon us) while sea eventually picked episode 11 (because he is a man of culture) TRULY KINGS OF TASTE VISION AND CORRECT OPINIONS ONLY!!!!!!! honestly it's just a great interview all-around and i always love how both jimmy and sea try their best in everything they do

i wish i could add more but sadly all the other ones that come to mind (like the oishi magic of zero episode with milklove and the jd's birthday party live with earthmix) don't have any subs ;;;;;; let's hope we're gonna get a lot more when last twilight finally airs!!!!!

[dumbbitchfrommars]

How are you, J?

Can I call you J? After what must be a thousand posts, I think it’s safe to say no one is reading my blog nor is anyone worried about who I even am. It’s literally my online journal.

Wait, the bots. They might get me. Or would it come up if someone googled my name? Hm.

I guess it’s for the best that I continue keeping it lowkey online. Despite my entire inner monologue being on here. I feel safe knowing my name isn’t on here. Except I have gotten a bit lazy. A few names have slipped out here and there I’m sure, but nothing too dangerous. Sometimes my emotions get the better of me and I forget about being careful. But I should also always be careful.

I think that incident in Koh Tao has changed me. Cause somehow I feel like partying - drinking - even just drugs. I can’t do it anymore. It got me sick for MONTHS. And I’m trying to give my body the best shot it’s got to fight it off, and I realised that I don’t need any of that stuff to still have fun. Also sometimes the vibes are just not it and that’s okay too. Even the people who were drunk, high, or both all knew that too. So not just bc I was sober.

I think I’ve really established a good stable foundation for myself - more than I give myself credit for. I feel safe and supported when I’m in my own space and in my own lane. But I still have so much love to give and connections around me and I appreciate that so much too. But I also respect that I am so good when I’m on my own.

My head hurts :(

I can’t imagine how my sister is feeling right now.

It’s interesting that while I felt called to do more - the universe told me no in the form of my sisters.

Divine protection right there. Ive been seeing synchronicities all day today actually. But I think my favourite part was helping dad paint the new shelf in the bathroom. I love my dad so much. I love my mum so much.

I’m not ready to accept that one day they won’t be in my life anymore.

I really feel like u understand mum. While she triggers me, I see that she’s also just a person living life and learning in her own way. She wasn’t given the same opportunities and love and life that I have. So I can’t expect her to unlearn certain things just for me. She’s also allowed to make mistakes just like I am. I have to forgive her always. It’s not worth me holding on

Especially her moods. It’s the medication…. It’s always the medication. It’s never me. It’s never about me. I’m so selfish for thinking in these cyclical ways. That x negative experience, emotion, feeling is BECAUSE of me. It’s not BECAUSE of anything. It just… Is. Growth comes from accepting what is.

I feel like I can sit here in front of this heater forever and never feel warmed up.

Fucking mdma. It’s bad for you.

Anyway. I should probably get some sleep. I haven’t slept since last night, crazy.

Idk how I did it in Thailand. Just go go go. I am not about that life at allllllll

But I guess while you’re young you gotta do it!

I had fun. That’s all that matters. Always.

[melodyplucked]

she can't help but be more than a little confused by the girl's words... she's always dreamt of being a mom? maybe... but whatever it is, she's just going to nod and smile, and let her have this. it's sweet that she wants ricky to have their support, even if lynne for her part feels like nina's going to need it more considering...    ❝    honey i don't mind at all! i would love to bake with you. it's my mom's recipe, even though it probably came from one of those betty crocker books. and if you can get ricky out of bed in the morning well that's up to you. i usually let him sleep. we'll enjoy some nice time together, put the fire on, maybe light some candles... it'll be great. feel like a family in here.    ❞    divorced or not... this was her home for more than 16 years... and she wants this to be a nice memory for her son. and for herself.    ❝    i think it's good you waited. you want to make sure you really mean it before you tell him. i know it's scary to give your heart to someone, but i'm sure you'll both always remember the night fondly. i think it's the first time he's been in love- honestly.    ❞    

    ❝    exactly. i'm glad you enjoyed it. sometimes just sitting on the couch in front of the tv together is nice. you'll get more of a feel for that with another american tradition in february with the super bowl.    ❞    she laughs, shaking her head.    ❝    maybe you'll have to get the puppy bowl on in the morning beforehand. might be more interesting for you than the sport you didn't grow up with.    ❞    she nods at the girl's question.    ❝    she did. i was the oldest in my family, and the first grandchild, so i spent a lot of time with her cooking or with my mom.    ❞    but the ability to relate in this sense is far from their other subject, of her plans to move in with ricky next year.    ❝    you have to be protected, of course. with the dangers back home. the last thing we'd want would be for something bad to happen to the two of you. and if you have a pool house that means a pool to throw those parties with your friends when the weather's nice. and even without it- it's not a bad thing to be the friends with the place to host.    ❞    

❝     that     means     a     lot     to     me.     ricky     means     the     world     to     me.     he's     really     gonna     need     the     support,     i     think.     i     mean,     i'm     kind     of     used     to     it.     after     dreaming     about     something     so     long,     it     feels     normal,     in     a     way,     when     you     finally     get     it.     ❞     it     was     nice     to     know     that     his     parents     were     going     to     be     so     supportive     once     they     told     them     the     news.     she     knew     it     wasn't     something     many     people     would     ever     experience,     so     it     was     good     to     have     support     from     his     family.     he'd     have     her     family,     of     course,     but     they     weren't     the     people     he'd     grown     up     with.     ❝     i     would     love     to     help     you     make     them     in     the     morning,     if     you     don't     mind.     ricky     and     i     will     get     up     and     help     out.     i'm     always     awake     super     early     on     holidays     as     it     is.     i     love     the     homey,     warm     feeling     of     a     holiday     with     the     people     you     love.     ❞     she     sighs     softly,     nodding     her     head.     ❝     comes     with     the     territory.     i     appreciate     you     for     saying     that,     though.     it's     nice     to     have     another     mother     figure     to     be     able     to     confide     in.     ❞     she     says,     and     she     really     does     mean     it.     it's     nice     to     be     able     to     get     closer     to     ricky's     mom     like     this.     she's     so     happy     lynne     had     been     able     to     come     for     christmas.     ❝     it     was     lovely.     he     had     told     me     he     loves     me     a     few     times     already,     but...     i've     never     been     in     love     before     and     i     wanted     it     to     be     perfect     when     i     finally     told     him.     i'd     never     said     those     words     to     anyone     before,     i     wanted     it     to     be     memorable.     ❞     part     of     her     still     wondered     if     it     had     been     silly     to     wait,     but     seeing     the     look     on     his     face     when     she     told     him     had     been     worth     it.     

❝     that's     so     sweet.     oh,     i     love     that.     it's     nice     to     just     have     festive     things     on     while     you     enjoy     the     day     together.     that's     kind     of     what     we     did,     too.     it     was     a     lovely     first     thanksgiving.     ❞     she     was     excited     to     get     to     do     more     of     these     things     as     the     years     went     on.     holidays     in     the     states     with     ricky's     family,     holidays     home     with     hers,     sharing     all     of     their     traditions.     ❝     yeah,     i     get     that.     it's     a     nice     bonding     time.     did     your     grandma     teach     you     to     cook,     too?     ❞     it's     nice     to     get     to     learn     more     about     ricky's     mom.     she     already     feels     so     close     to     the     woman     and     all     her     fears     and     anxieties     about     meeting     her     have     faded     away.     ❝     it's     already     been     a     struggle     having     a     security     detail     on     campus,     so     we're     looking     for     a     place     with     a     garage     apartment     or     pool     house.     my     moms     would     like     my     bodyguard     to     be     close     and     there's     this     place     that     has     what     we're     looking     for,     so     we     want     to     start     on     the     process.     we     thought     about     an     apartment,     but     with     the     bodyguard     thing,     it     makes     it     difficult...     ❞     she's     excited     to     have     her     own     space     again,     though.     not     have     to     share     communal     spaces     with     people     she     doesn't     know     is     an     exciting     aspecting     of     moving     into     their     own     home.

[fahrni]

Saturday Morning Coffee

Wow! Kolby let me sleep in this morning, 9AM! Late start to the day for me. Felt great. I decided I’d get all fancy this morning so I’m having a mocha. ☕️

Enjoy the linkage.

IGN

Lance Reddick, the actor known for roles in The Wire, John Wick, and Horizon Zero Dawn, has died at age 60.

Folks may know him best from John Wick but he was amazing in Fringe and The Wire. He played the hard nosed boss man in both of those series and he was good at it. RIP. 😔

WordPress

We’re excited to announce that Automattic, the parent company of WordPress.com, has acquired the popular WordPress plugin ActivityPub.

I love this and I hope more companies and individuals with publishing platforms follow suit.

If you’re interested Micro.blog already supports ActivityPub and is an excellent choice for your publishing platform. It’s well managed so you get a great community all for $5US per month. Yes, I use it to publish this blog.

The Sun Gazette

THREE RIVERS – It has been nearly a week since the latest storms flooded and eroded three large sections back on South Fork Road in Three Rivers leaving my family and approximately 160 other people stranded.

This is from my hometown paper in Exeter, California. The poor valley has seen its share of devastation over the last month and to hear of these poor folks stranded in Three Rivers makes my heart ache for them. Luckily they’re very resourceful and are making due. Hang in there y’all, this too will pass. ❤️

Platfomer

After months of silence, and a multi-billion-dollar effort from ByteDance to avoid this scenario, the Biden administration is picking up where its predecessor left off: attempting to force the company to divest itself of TikTok in the name of national security.

I don’t know how to feel about this. Sure, we shouldn’t allow China to use a platform as a propaganda mechanism for national security reasons but couldn’t there be a different arrangement around monitoring and servers living in the US without a connection to China?

I’m obviously naïve to the details and over simplifying it.

Please drop me a note via email — rob.fahrni@gmail.com — or Mastodon and explain what I’m missing. Thanks! 👍🏼

Slate

As the startups that make up Silicon Valley Bank’s customer base scrambled to figure out whether they would be able to make payroll, a group of extremely online venture capitalists spent four days emoting on Twitter, ginning up confusion and hysteria about the threat of a systemic risk if depositors didn’t get all their money back, pronto.

Gotta love those libertarian frat bros with who want government out of everything but are first in line with their grubby little hands wide open clamoring for rescue when they’re scared they’ll lose everything.

Do us all a favor, crawl into your apocalypse bunkers and stay there. Oh, and take Musk and TFG with you. 😇

Kottke

I’ve been writing kottke.org for 25 years. A little context for just how long that is: kottke.org is older than Google.

Congratulations Jason! Here’s to many more fruitful years! 🥳

Rolling Stone

Members of the South Carolina State House are considering a bill that would make a woman who has an abortion in the state eligible for the death penalty.

That’s the GOP for you. The pro life party ready to kill if you don’t carry a baby to term. Jerks, hypocrites, ass holes, dicks… I could name call all day. Our country is losing ground and sliding into authoritarianism and the MAGA party is leading the charge. So much for small government and fiscal responsibility. They’re the party of cruelty and white supremacy.

Reuters

March 14 (Reuters) - Facebook-parent Meta Platforms (META.O) said on Tuesday it would cut 10,000 jobs this year, making it the first Big Tech company to announce a second round of mass layoffs as the industry braces for a deep economic downturn.

Layoffs, layoffs, and more layoffs. As a middle aged middle manager this scares the crap out of me. Poop rolls down hills. Who’s next?

Oh, and what’s all this talk about a financial downturn? Is that just news to me? 😳

The Verge

T-Mobile is buying Mint Mobile, the budget-friendly mobile carrier that’s partially owned by Ryan Reynolds. In a post published on Wednesday, T-Mobile announced that the deal’s valued at up to $1.35 billion and comes as T-Mobile looks to build out its prepaid phone offering.

I just finished my free trial and we’re trying to decide if we’d like to go with Mint, then this happens which leaves me scratching my head. Do we do it or not?

The Verge

Here’s the best printer in 2023: the Brother laser printer that everyone has. Stop thinking about it and just buy one. It will be fine!

After having a little chuckle over the headline I looked over my shoulder and noticed it’s the printer we have. 😂

[elidoesntbreathwee]

Making Steddie sleep and cuddle cutely because it's my agenda and my duty to the #steddie hive mind

-

Nightmares: everyone gets them, just some more than others. Especially people who've been to an alternant dimension where everything that was ever good has been destroyed, and everyone you love steps on death's doorstep, and barely makes it out alive. Eddie almost didn't make it, but Steve wouldn't have just let him lay there, he had to do something, anything, to help him.

They both lived. They were fine now, physically that is. Nothing more than huge scars that they hate talking about. But that didn't mean they were fine, because they sure as hell weren't.

Ever since Eddie got out of the hospital there were many midnight (or later) trips to someone's house. It may have been Robin's, or Steve's or Eddie's, or fuck, sometimes even Nancy's house (though that didn't happen often as usually there were 6 kids staying up all night because they were too scared to fall asleep) Sometimes just 2 of them were together, sometimes it was the whole party, but over time it got better. They weren't so scared of falling asleep anymore, and *when* they woke up, it wasn't too bad to be alone.

It should have been better for all of them if the kids could be alone and still be fine, but it wasn't. Steve, Robin, Nancy, and Eddie somehow couldn't let go that easily. They didn't know why; it was just like that. But they made the best out of the long nights they shared together. Many secrets were told, most told by half-asleep people, doing their best to stay awake.

When it was Steve and Robin, there wasn't a filter on what they said, but when Nancy or Eddie was there, there was one, though it filtered very little, it still filtered the biggest secretes, like how Steve realized he had liked Tommy H when he was younger, or when Robin confessed she didn't like Vicky much anymore (she'd spent some time with her and found that all she was interested in talking about was her jerk ex-boyfriends and what boys Robin liked) as well as Robin realizing she liked Nancy instead.

"Whoahhhh, you like Nance. that's cool, she's nice" Steve was very much out of it, but he still supported Robin, no matter what, even if everything he said they night was very draw out, due to how tired he was.

One night, though, all four of them were at Steve's house. Nothing unusual was happening, all was well. It was around 2 am, and they decided (Nancy said) they should go to sleep, or at least try to get some rest.

Steve's house was big and yet somehow only had one guest bedroom, and they all knew they should have 2 people in each room or else someone was going to wake up and panic.

Robin was going to sleep in Steve's room with him, but Steve wanted to play matchmaker, and decided that Eddie was going to be in his room, and Nancy and Robin would share a room. Robin glared at him and secretly mouthed 'thank you', and she and Nancy then went to the guest bedroom (which was very big and had a jacuzzi bathtub in the bathroom attached to it)

Eddie was confused and had no idea why Steve would make Robin, his best friend, go sleep in a different room. He'd seen the guest bedroom, though, and the bed was horrible (in his opinion) so he wasn't complaining too much. He just hoped Steve's bed wasn't as bad as the guest bed.

"So, uh, why's you tell Robin to sleep in the guest's room?" Eddie asked, hoping that it wasn't weird of him to ask about it.

"I'm sure you'll see why tomorrow morning" Steve sighed. "Well, I'm going to take a shower real quick, then you can take one. Feel free to just look around, I guess."

Steve got his clothes and towel and went into his bathroom, while Eddie started snoopi- I mean looking around.

He found some boring stuff like old homework and books, and really, nothing he found was very interesting, though Eddie did hope to find some drama, it was probably better that he didn't.

When Steve came out of the shower, Eddie realized he forgot his pajamas. He would've just slept in his clothes, but Steve insisted that he wear some that Steve hadn't worn before.

"You're wearing *jeans*, Eddie. I'm not gonna let you sleep in jeans. Just let me get you the pajamas, ok?"

"Fine, but only because you insisted" Eddie acted upset but it was very obviously just to be silly. "Thank you, though, for real"

"Oh, goddammit!" Steve sighed loudly "I'm sorry, I can't find them. I can give you some of mine, if you don't care that I've worn them. They're clean though, of course."

"Thanks, man, I appreciate it"

Steve gave Eddie some of his pajamas (THEYRE CLEAN ISTG) then Eddie took his shower.

After Eddie got out, he and Steve sat on Steve's bed and talked. Not about anything in particular, just a normal conversation. Then they looked at Steve's clock.

"Holy-! Jesus H. Christ, dude, it's 3:30 am!" Eddie was shocked at how long they'd been talking for.

"Oh, God. We should get to bed."

"So, uh, how's sleeping gonna work? Just lay down wherever or would you rather cuddle" Eddie said it sarcastically, but something in him wanted it to happen.

"I mean I wouldn't mind that too much" Steve mumbled, looking away from Eddie to make sure he couldn't hear.

"What?"

"N- nothing"

"We can cuddle if you want, big boy" Eddie smirked, and Steve went bright red.

"I- d-uhh I- mm..." Steve bit his lip to keep from saying more incoherent half-words.

"Oh, sorry, if that- uh- made you uncomfortable and stuff..."

"No! No, it's fine, I just- I mean, would it be ok if we, uh, did... y'know" Stev stole a few glances at Eddie, hoping he didn't mess everything up.

"Are you asking if we can cuddle? And you're that nervous?" Eddie sighed, then smiled and shook his head. "If you want to, then of course we can, Steve."

"Thank you... sorry if it's weird."

"If what's weird. It's totally fine." Eddie sat back against the pillows on Steve's bed. "C'mere"

Steve walked over to the side of his bed and got on to sit next to Eddie. Eddie put his arm around Steve's shoulder. Steve leaned into Eddie, but was still stiff.

"You ok?"

"Mhm, just... nervous... I guess."

"It's ok, Steve. If you want to stop, just tell me, mk"

"No, I'm fine, I just, I've always had to be the shoulder for people to rely on. I guess I never realized how much I'd wanted to be the one leaning on someone else's shoulder, if that makes sense."

Eddie help Steve closer "Well you can lean on me as long as you'd like." Steve melted into Eddie's side, feeling totally comfortable and safe for the first time in years.

Eddie rubbed Steve's shoulder, near where his hand was, and he could tell Steve would be asleep soon. After only 15 minutes, Steve was fast asleep.

Eddie moved some, trying not to wake up Steve, so that they were laying down, and Eddie fell asleep soon after.

The next morning, Robin and Nancy were already downstairs when Eddie and Steve came down. Robin and Nancy were clinging to each other, and Steve smirked at Robin.

"Sooo, I guess you made a new friend, huh, Rob?" Steve said slyly

"Like you have any room to talk. You've literally been wrapped around Eddie since you came down the stairs. You were clinging to him while you were walking down the stairs, hell, you're wrapped around his arm RIGHT NOW!"

Steve's eyes went wide, and his face went red.

"She's right, y'know. Not that I'm complaining." Eddie added

"Your arm is comfy, so sue me." Steve said to Eddie, but he was looking at Robin trying to convince her that his attachment to Eddie was valid (which tbf it was)

"Alright, alright. If I say nothing about that," Robin nodded toward Steve and Eddie. "You say nothing about this," Robin tilted her head toward Nancy, who she was leaning against. "Ok?"

Steve agreed to Robin's terms, then Steve told Eddie to come to the kitchen with him, because he didn't want to let go until absolutely necessary. Eddie was ok with it. He was honestly glad that Steve felt so comfortable with him.

Steve felt safe with Eddie anytime he was around him from then on.

-The End

-

A/N: Hope you like, i almost cried while writing this so i hope i made u cry too /j also sorry if this makes no sense. a like would be very appreciated and a reblog would be SUPER DUPER appreciated <333

[mrsnegan]

hey beautiful! loving all your writing! and was wondering if you’d do a request with the reader having Negan as her neighbor and he gets jealous when her guy friend comes over instead of him

[Hi there! So, so sorry it took me this long to write your request. But here it finally is, another smut fest, I just can't help myself. 😅]

Warnings: smut, dirty talk, rough sex, jealousy, oral sex (f receiving), bodily fluids, squirting, aftercare

Moving into a new neighborhood always felt weird. Getting used to a new surrounding, meeting neighbors and hoping they would be kind of alright was a pain in your ass. You hated those situations. But meeting Negan, your neighbor of two years by now, was the most cool thing ever. He was a real sweetheart with a sailor's mouth, ready to help whenever there was a problem, ready to party whenever there was an invitation. Even if he was eye candy as well, a real flirt at times, you didn't consider him as an option, more as a friend, a life long partner in crime.

Negan, on the other hand and unbeknownst to you, did definitely have interest in more than harmless teasing. He liked you - a lot. Though he would never pressure you into anything, would never make a move without any signal from your side, because he cherished your friendship as much as you did and respected the hell out of you. Little did he know that a mysterious male guest of yours would shake up his whole resolution, unleashing something primal and urging inside of him.

---

You stood in front of the oven, the lasagna smelling delicious and nearly ready to eat. Paul, your friend from work, would ring at any minute. He was a nice guy, helping you out with a big project. In return, you invited him for dinner to thank him for all the effort. This wasn't a date though, Paul was gay 100 percent, the coolest dude in your opinion. He dated an Italian barkeeper who was at work right now, so it would only be the two of you. Either way, you looked forward to a chatty evening with good food, lots of wine and laughter.

Your doorbell rang some moments later and you opened it with a bright smile.

"Hi Paul, come in!"

"Hi there! Thank you so much for the invitation, Y/N!" he beamed, handing you two bottles of wine.

The two of you entered your kitchen, preparing the rest of the dinner together. It was such a relaxing atmosphere, you had missed nights like this.

The lasagna tasted as delicious as it smelled and the first bottle of wine was empty much sooner than you thought. Paul and you talked about work, life, love and everything in between. You felt at ease, happy to the core. The second bottle was opened a few moments later and both of you decided to enjoy the nice weather in your little garden.

"Hey, who's this?" Paul asked, head pointing towards Negan's property. You could see him standing on his terrace, looking straight at the both of you.

"My neighbor and friend Negan", you answered and waved with a big smile. To your surprise, he just looked straight ahead, turning on his heels to get inside.

"What the fuck was that?" you asked perplexed.

"Uh, honey, sorry to break the news, but he seemed to be severely pissed about your male company."

"Huh? That's...why should he?"

Paul looked at me with his eyebrow raised, his glass of wine still in his hand.

"He's some nice piece of ass, at least from what I could make out. And honey, let me tell you, he's jealous because I'm enjoying your presence, not him. He's definitely hot for you."

You laughed loudly at his explanation, shaking your head in disbelief.

"No, he isn't. We're just friends."

"Y/N, for real, I know how a jealous man looks and he definitely wants you all to himself. I'd suggest you get your beautiful ass over there and get banged real good. Because jealous men are such a turn-on and won't keep their hands off of you."

Despite knowing Paul for a long time, you clasped your hand over your mouth.

"He's my friend..."

"So you keep saying. What's wrong about friends with benefits? You absolutely deserve a good time. And he looks like a real snack", he winked, drowning his wine and getting up.

"Besides, I need to get home, it's late. I will get myself an Uber. Don't you worry your pretty little head, just get over there for your dessert."

You said goodbye at your front door half an hour later. While you watched Paul drive away, your heart kept beating faster and faster. Your feet carried you to your kitchen where you drowned another glass of wine. Was it possible what Paul had said? Was Negan jealous? Deep within you there definitely was a spark you felt, a pull towards Negan. He was handsome and funny, that much was true, though before Paul's suggestion you hadn't seen Negan in this kind of light. And since it had been spoken out, you couldn't stop thinking about what his lips might taste on you, what he might feel pressed between your legs.

You gulped audibly, not believing your own thoughts. Blaming the wine for your inappropriate thoughts seemed too easy, but admitting you were attracted to your neighbor was too difficult too. Sighing, you pulled your cardigan over your shoulders, grabbed your keys and went to his front door. The wine gave you the much needed confidence to do so, but your heart hammered in your chest nonetheless. What if you would destroy your friendship with this stupid little action? What if Paul was wrong? But you had to take the risk or you wouldn't sleep at all at night, laying awake with the punishing thoughts of what if.

The door bell rang in your ear louder than you remembered. Your palms were sweaty, so you tried to anchor yourself on your cardigan, hugging yourself tightly.

When Negan opened the door, he looked pissed to say the least.

"Hey", you said timidly.

"Hey", he answered without the warmth in his voice you were used to.

"Can I come in?"

"Why would you want to? You do have company, don't you?"

With a dry mouth you shook your head. "He went home."

"Asshat", he mumbled and you raised a brow.

"Negan, we need to talk."

"About what? I think it's more than fucking clear. Have a good night", he said, motioning to close the door in front of you, but you pushed yourself against it.

"He's gay", you told him, letting him stop in his tracks.

"What?"

"Paul, my visitor. He's gay. He's one of my colleagues and a good friend. This was a thank you dinner because he helped me out at work", you explained even if you didn't have to.

Negan pinched the bridge of his nose, opening the door wider, so you could slip inside.

Both of you stood awkwardly in front of each other, just staring at your shoes.

"Look, Paul said you would be...jealous. Are you?"

You heard Negan huff before you risked a look into his face. He looked troubled, as if he calculated the pros and cons of his next words.

"Fucking shit, Y/N, yeah, I'm jealous. You satisfied now?"

"No", you answered truthfully, risking everything with your next move. You closed the distance between the both of you, getting on your tiptoes to press a fleeting kiss against his lips. You pulled back as fast as you had kissed him, adrenaline driving through your veins.

Negan's growl surprised you, he was on you in an instant, pressing you against his door, his lips colliding with yours. The heat radiating from your bodies made you feel dizzy, his hands held your face tightly while he devoured your mouth with passion. He deepened the kiss as his body pressed itself against you, grinding where you ached the most. Your hands grabbed his strong frame for support, the moan into his mouth made him stop, pulling away a bit to catch his breath and also look into your eyes.

"Damn, baby, you have no idea how long I've been waiting to do this."

The groan leaving your lips spurred him on, moving his center against your trembling body in a nice rhythm.

"Shit, I...I had no idea."

"You surely didn't. Such a sweet, innocent girl. You wanna continue?"

He stopped all at once, earning a desperate whine from you.

"Y-yes, please Negan."

That damn grin of his made your knees buckle. He was so hot and he clearly wanted you. Thanking Paul silently for speaking his mind and Negan for his jealousy, you made the next step by pushing his shirt up, revealing his lean stomach to your hungry eyes.

He just smirked down at you, helping you out by pulling his shirt over his head. You admired his tattoos for a while, tracing them lightly with your fingers. He caught your hands in his, kissing your fingertips before he let go to slip your cardigan over your shoulders before he open button after button of your silky blouse, revealing more and more skin as well as your bra.

"Hot damn", he mumbled when he had freed you from your blouse, starring blatantly at your cleavage.

"I wanna worship every part of that hot body before I fuck you senseless."

Moaning at the prospect of getting laid by Negan, your hands found a home on his chest again.

"You...you don't need to be...you know...gentle with me, at least not this time." You bit your lip at your own forwardness. This was definitely the wine speaking. Your panties were wet the minute he had attacked your mouth and edging was the last thing you needed right now.

"Oh baby, you're full of surprises. The next time, huh? You sure?" Negan played with one of your locks, scanning your face for any second thoughts.

"Yes", you whispered.

He was on you in an instant, his hands on your ass, pushing you against him before he lifted you off the ground to carry you to the living room.

He sat you down on his dining table where the cold wooden surface made you gasp.

"I would carry you into the bedroom...but I think that's something for the next time", he winked, pushing up your skirt and slipping off your shoes. "I need to have a taste right now."

He surprised you yet again by dropping to his knees. Your panties, soaked as they were, were gone in an instant and his impatient mouth closed around your center.

You jumped at the sudden pleasure, too much too soon. Your hands wandered into his hair, desperate to push him away and to keep him there at the same time. The moans leaving your lips sounded like they were coming from someone else. He ate you out with passion, the slurping sounds so foreign to your ears that you turned a light shade of red. But he seemed to enjoy himself, biting down gently on your clit.

"Whose pussy is this?" he asked against your wet flesh, his breath on your lower lips driving you insane. You couldn't form a sentence, earning a light slap against your inner thigh.

"I asked you a question, baby. Whose pussy is this?"

"Y-yours", you moaned, you answer accompanied by his fingers rubbing over your folds.

"Yeah, that's right, mine alone", he mused, closing his lips around your clit again while two of his fingers entered your slick channel. He fucked into you with precision, driving you to your breaking point in no time. You came against his mouth and around his fingers screaming his name.

"So beautiful. Better than I could have ever imagined", he mused, looking up at your face. "I could do that all night. But you didn't ask for gentle, did you?"

There were no words with which you could respond, your orgasm had made you feel like jelly, absolutely unable to do anything than breathe.

You heard Negan's belt come undone and the zipper of his jeans. With the little strength you had left, you lifted your head to look at him. The sight you were greeted with drove another moan out of your mouth. Negan stood in front of you, cock in hand, stroking it languidly while his gaze was fixed on your wet center.

"You like what you see?", he asked, smiling warmly with a hint of mischief in it.

"Yes", you whimpered.

He came nearer, pushing the head of his cock between your soaked pussy lips.

"Fuck...", you uttered, over-sensitive but so damn horny for him nonetheless, despite the earth-shattering orgasm he had gifted you with.

"Patience, baby. Gonna fuck you so good, don't you worry", he mused, concentrating his movements on your clit. You jerked under him, the pleasure rapidly building and as he rubbed himself harder against you, you came again.

"Shit, would you look at that? You like my cock that damn much, don't you?"

As hot as his dirty mouth was, you wanted to feel him, finally. So you pushed your arms up and around his head to pull him down for a longing kiss. Just as his tongue sloppily played with yours, he entered you in one swift motion, setting a fast pace from the beginning.

The moans and groans you shared echoed through his house, the wood underneath you creaked with every movement. This was precisely what you had asked for, a good, hard, passionate fuck, something primal to get rid of all the tension. He fucked you harder still, looking down at you with furrowed brows. His right hand pulled your bra down to bare your bouncing breasts to his heated gaze while you tried to anchor yourself underneath his punishing thrusts. You hadn't been fucked like this in a long, long time, nearly forgetting how much you liked to be taken, to be claimed. And Negan was just perfect at fulfilling your fantasies, his cock feeling incredible.

"Baby...", he purred when he watched you play with your nipples, throwing your head back in the process.

There was something building inside of you again, much stronger than before. Your moans got louder in the process.

"Don't stop, don't stop, don't...", you chanted repeatedly, while Negan fucked you hard, his hand coming down between your legs to flick your clit roughly with his thumb. The walls came crashing down for you, your orgasm roared through your body, wave after wave of pure bliss, so much so that Negan had to pull out to make room for you to squirt all over his cock.

He practically roared at the sight in front of him, jerking himself off furiously and shooting his load against your sodden pussy.

Both of you panted heavily while coming down from such an exquisite high. After a while, Negan helped you out of your skirt and bra which were still dangling on your sweaty body and carried you upstairs to the shower. Underneath his big shower head, you pulled him against you, still with shaking legs, but happy, so damn happy.

"Thank you for being jealous", you said giggling against his strong frame.

"No worries, baby, I still am. You're mine now."

You laughed at his comment, even if you knew he was honest with his statement. The kiss that followed was sweet, a nice contrast to your rough coupling some minutes ago.

"But honestly, I would love to invite you for dinner, have a proper date if you would like to", Negan suggested, his hands drawing lazy circles on your back.

"I would absolutely love to", you answered, peppering his chest with light kisses.

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