#making my life miserable
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the tradwife movement is the same as it has always been - back in the kitchen, back to breeding - it just has better branding.
when i was younger, i hated pink. i was not like other girls. this is now something i'm embarrassed of - this was not me being a "girl's girl."
but it was expressing something many of us felt at the time: i literally wasn't what girlhood was supposed to be. this is a hard thing to explain, but you know when you're not performing girlhood correctly. it isn't as easy as "i liked x when girls liked y" - because there were other girls that liked x, too - but i never figured out exactly the correct way to like x, or to be interested in y.
now there is the divine feminine. this is the same rhetoric it has always been: women are biologically driven to like pink and ribbons and submitting to our husbands.
the problem is that the patriarchy found a better PR team. because yes, actually, i want every woman to have the choice to be a homemaker. i also want her taken seriously for her legitimate home-making labor. i want her to be recognized as also having a job, just unpaid. i want men to have this opportunity, too.
but it is no longer "i made this choice and I love it." instead it is a sixteen-paragraph rant about how selfish it is that my generation isn't having kids. instead it's long videos about how if you feed your children processed foods, you're going to kill them. instead it is "this is what womanhood is supposed to be. i feel bad for any other choices you're making."
the shame spiral is just prettier. it is large houses devoid of personality. it is the implication: if you don't have this, you aren't happy. the solid, everlasting assurance: women are actually supposed to be submitting. this is the default. this is the natural state of things. all other attempts inflict suffering.
but you can no longer say i'm not like other girls. you can no longer reject this image completely. you cannot find it revolting, even if you know that the underbelly is toxic and festering. sure, it is the same repackaged patriarchy. but the internet does not have shades of grey. you should support and reward other women! your disgust is actually internalized misogyny. not because you are seeing a vision of yourself the way they're trying to train you to be. not because you feel her ghost pass within an inch of your earlobe. not because your father will eventually ask you - why can't you be like her?
because they figured out how to make it beautiful: women will sell other women on this idea, and we will find the singular loophole in feminism. sure, she's shaming you in most of her videos. sure, she implies that a different life is obscene. but she just wants you to be happy! you'd be happier if you were listening!
and the whole time you're sitting there thinking: i'd actually just be happier if i had that kind of money.
#spilled ink#writeblr#warm up#this is an incredibly difficult idea to express#but i basically keep watching the same timelooped interaction:#someone makes tradwife content where she's like ''i think it's SO sad when ppl don't have kids EW''#and then the response is ''... go fuck yourself? i think ur life is miserable and bad ?"#and instead of being like ''oh we are all under capitalism huh''#the response is like ''you CANT say that. she made a CHOICE. she is ALLOWED to have KIDS and be HAPPY#unlike YOU who is UNHAPPY bc you don't have KIDS.''#like .... these are people who will throw the first stone. and then when you lob one back#they ask why you're so violent. they tell you that you're a bad activist.#and you're like. PARDON????? you implied being a woman meant i need to submit to my husband???#and they're like - well it's just my belief. so what if i'm invalidating your entire identity.
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Final Moments.
#my art#goro akechi#persona 5#p5r#shuake#ren amamiya#persona 5 royal#akeshu#akira kurusu#sorry for the sad shuake recently :( its just been that sorta mood#i will make one of those implied happy ending ones soon again i promise#i may have been a bit too worried about my health for a bit and made me write this#the poems i write when thinkin about my life. god damn!!!!#anyway . im sorry again#i swear the next one will be happier i miss happy shuake too not my fault ghost au is miserable (kind of is my fault)
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I think if I could be the kind stranger in someone’s memory, that’d be enough.
#sometimes I really sit and think about how much impact the sweet strangers in my life have had on me#thatve helped me keep going without ever knowing just how fucking miserable I was before them#like how can I ever repay the family that drew pictures and left them at my door as an apology for all the noise#the man who held the train door for me even after I slowed down bc I didn’t think I’d make it#the girl who held my hand at the beach because the waves were too strong for both of us to stand on our own#the nurse that charged my phone when I was at the hospital#like????#humans are good actually#hopecore#hopepunk#the indomitable human spirit
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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one
#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts#course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism#being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn#i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus#cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself#into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation#but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy#and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system#you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao#yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic#aromanticism#aro positivity#aroace#arospec#sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon#you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better#life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not#i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao
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I can't—I can't get her out of my mind. You have the same problem? I can't, Louis. I can't.
INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE, Season 2 Episode 8: "And That's The End of It. There's Nothing Else."
#iwtvedit#interview with the vampire#iwtv#iwtv spoilers#loustat#tvedit#cinemapix#usergayppl#usermicky#userairam#useraurore#userveronika#userpayel#mine#listened to song for our daughter (from jacob's playlist) on repeat while making this#feeling the most miserable i've ever felt in my whole entire life thanks!!
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In some fucked up way it was kinda funny.
Guy on the run goes to Bludhaven to keep a low profile and catches the attention of a vigilante. The universe is laughing at him, surely.
Everything was fine up until a month ago. Really, it was. Danny had obtained his own shitty apartment and yeah, maybe his dead end job made him want to eat dirt more than usual but everything was fine. There weren’t any eyes on him and now there were. A certain bird didn’t know how to leave him alone.
“Can I help you, Nightwing?” Danny says in a flat tone, leaning his forearms against the rails of the fire escape. He isn’t a cigarette type of guy but if ever there were a time this would be it.
“Mhum. I want names, same as always.”
Danny rolls his eyes. “We both know I can’t tell you anything.”
“But you could.”
“I could,” Danny acquiesced with a shallow nod. “And then what? When they can’t get to me, they’ll get to you.” He sighs, feeling infintely tired “in any case, the big bad bat isn’t known for leaving things he doesn’t understand alone, and I’m not really looking to be a lab rat again. Zero out of ten do not recommend. Turns out being vivisected fucking hurts, man.”
“Why won’t you let me take them out for you? Besides, I’m not weak. I can hold my own just fine.”
And thats the million dollar question, isn’t it? Dannys gaze fixes upon the ill looking moon, pallor as he peers through the smog of the dingy city and into the sky. “Because he told me to wait.”
“Who?”
Clockwork.
Clockwork told him to wait. To do the one thing he hates more than anything in the world. To do the unforgivable - to sit idle when they had Ellie. As much as he’d love to spit venom and recite every reason why the GIW needed to be taken care of much sooner rather than whenever Clockwork had in mind, he can’t. He’s - and Ancients, he’ll never forgive himself - scared. He’s scared.
Logistically, he knows he’s strong. Stronger than anyone in any of those facilities compounded. Stronger than Vlad in terms of raw power if not in wiles, he’s stronger than Pariah Dark. Danny has tested his mettle against the worst of the worst and came out on top but he’s still fucking scared. Isn’t that something? Crown prince of the Infinite Realms is scared.
There’s no one to magically make it better. No one to lean on because he’s the strongest, he’s it. And if the strongest can’t stand up because they’re too busy having a panic attack at the sight of a lab coat then really, what use are they?
“I can’t tell you that.” He glances down to the alleyway below them. It’s filthy. Wet newspaper plastered to the pavement, old gum cemented in place like spots on a dalmatian. It looks a lot like how Danny feels most days.
Nightwing frowns. “I can help you,” he says. It sounds painfully earnest, like he believes he really, really, could.
“That's a nice offer, Nightwing, but I can’t take it yet.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
There he is. That’s the boy the bat raised. “Can’t.”
*
The next time Dick sees Danny it isn’t in Bludhaven.
It’s months later in her sister city, Gotham. Crime Alley, to be specific. It was during the tail end of a joint patrol with the newly minted Robin, Tim, whom he had sent back to the cave early. His eyes snagged on the figure of a young man carrying a child in the middle of the wet season, a thin thoroughly soaked through navy blue sweater clinging to him like a second skin. It was pouring down like the heavens didn’t know how to stop grieving.
It seemed as anguished as Dick was in the immediate absence of Jason. He blinks tiredly and washes the thought away. There’s a little girl cradled in Danny’s arms with hair just as pitch black as his own, burrowing her small face in his neck, tiny arms clinging as the man himself runs his hand soothingly on her back, murmuring apologies into her hair. “I know, I know, I’m sorry Ellie, I’m sorry. It’s okay, it's- We’re out. We’re okay.”
It’s a painfully private moment, one that he feels guilty for witnessing. The girl - Ellie, sobs into Danny’s chest. It isn’t his place to watch, to witness this. All the same, he wishes he could comfort them somehow.
#i dont think im going to continue this so feel free to use this as inspo or to add onto#dc x dp#danny phantom#danny fenton#dc x dp crossover#dick grayson#dcxdp#no i did not beta this im too cool for that#Dani Fenton#Dani Phantom#pre time skip was before Jason's death and then after is post death bc I love miserable NW#someone let him be mentally ill again#er well not again bc he is but let it get that bad Again 2k25 i love seeing him in a constant state of intense stress its good for my healt#makes my hair extra shiny when i go out yk. Gives me that extra kick of life to sparkle in my eyes
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asshole 4 asshole
#my art#one piece#zosan#the type of ship where you swear they're about to scratch each others' eyes out but the second they smell your blood in the water it's over#immediate united front. instant temporary truce to make someone else's life miserable#'get a load of this guy' and 10 seconds later everything in 5 square miles is burning#i was going to draw diff fits originally but alas..... the siren song of sanji's gold shirt and black DB#so i guess this is sabaody or something. whatever. sabaody but make it me colorpicking from photos i took in the city at sunset#feels so good to draw a Full Background again thanks brain for getting it together for this one#one piece tag
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#tsom#the sound of music#christopher plummer#julie andrews#whistlecone#georg x maria#my art#please dont repost#hehe#7 children ????#to make fren's life miserable#and paint all of them#im dead#i wanted to draw the kids and show how overwhelmed georg is#he's trying his best (failing)#he can't control these personalities#here comes maria to the rescue#and to smooch him
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trigun collection
#trigun#trigun maximum#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#vashwood#yeah yeah yeah they make me so happy. and miserable; in a very special way.#to more trigun on this artblog and in my life !
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Javert, seeing Valjean at the barricades: Yeah, okay, I guess our fates can be intrinsically connected within the narrative if they have to be. Fine.
#does that make sense#he really sees jvj and just goes “yeah cool ok”#“that tracks. this dilf can't leave my mind OR my life”#les mis#valvert#javert#jean valjean#les miserables
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you have to love people for real. and that means loving them as people who have flaws, and will annoy you or get on your nerves some times. treating them like a toy or product you can throw away when you get bored or upset is not acceptable. it's what we've been conditioned to do, but it makes the world worse.
#.txt#i didnt always know this and i dont pretend i did.#i'm just glad i've learned it now at least#i went straight from a cult-like group into tumblrs 'its ok to kick any one out of your life for any reason' environment in my early 20s#it made my life turbulent lonely and miserable#thinking on the older adults who should have known better leading sheltered young queer people astray back then makes me feel so bitter.
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Putting them here too in hopefully higher quality!!
@lesmis-prompts : “mistletoe” :3
#shoot them like rn#get them out of my head#also I can not make a decent bg for the life of me#sorry#enjoltaire#les miserables#les mis#enjolras#grantaire#les mierables#les amis de l'abc#art#les miz#les miserables fanart#grantaire les mis#enjolras les mis#fanart#seasonalbrick
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i want to make his life miserable. i want his evening to be painful. what i give him must be stronger than what he gives.
#this should be a copypasta 4ever oh my god#i want to make his life miserable. i want his evening to be painful. what i give him must be stronger than what he gives.#hockey#rambles#arber xhekaj#brady tkachuk
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do you ever think about how in the day i picked up dazai side b dazai had to lie emotionless and soulless—like a corpse, almost—beside the man that gently brought him in, nursed his injuries, held him while he was in pain? he had to keep those suffocating bandages around his entire face, lest this man gain some sort of recognition for the little boy he saved. he had to lay there curled in the fetal position, bleeding and in pain, perhaps thinking about how, in another life, this man cooked for him, tried to build up his strength. read to him to pass the time while he curled up against him like a child listening to a bedtime story. played cards with him. saw through the heartless mafioso. the ruthless killer. and instead saw a boy.
imagine knowing this man, the man who saved you in more ways than one, was going to die one day all because he knew you. because he reached his hand into the darkness and plaintively, like a small child wanting a parent's touch, you grasped back desperately. imagine thinking all of that while that man is just a stone's throw away, making coffee in the next room just like he used to for you in another life. the scent, although you've never been here before, is reminiscent of home. and the tune he's humming? it's the silent melody that plays through your mind seven years later, for the last time as you fall backward off the building with your arms out like an embrace. but, hey. that man is alive. he's happy, although he never knew you. you can die with no regrets.
#guys i actually cannot stop thinking about oda and dazai someone save me PLEASE. the day i picked up dazai ruined my fucking life#dazai makes me so fucking miserable every time i see him in beast i just start fucking sobbing#absolute TRAGEDY of a character#he was fucking fifteen in this. and he knew the entire time. he knew oda would die. before even meeting him#bsd#the day i picked up dazai#ermmm found this in my drafts and i wanted to post it sorry guys i sound emo asf
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doodles and stuff. struggled with painting until i gave up
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#i GUESS? carmen and ayins face is a whole thing and stuff.#oh wait hello silly first life stuff. yeah that counts. tee hee?#angela and benjamin are technically there but theyre kinda small compaired to the rest of the drawings in inclusion so im not sure..#ill do angela since she isnt covered#angela lobcorp#carmen lobcorp#ayin lobcorp#netzach lobcorp#it mustve been so prominent. the feelings of affection. those memories of ayin smiling so gently and warmly to her. to Carmen. than angela.#for it to be the very first thing brought up. the very first thing to actually recall from the copy of Her brain. a warmth she would never#be able to see upon that face. a warmth she knows and can recall but never for Her. a man who adored carmen to have such a face shown to he#that now cannot even bare to look at what isnt her what could never be her yet depending on a creation he loathes#for its similarities. for being close to him. for not Being Carmen enough. for being a bastardization of what once was. holding#justifications and trying to convince the self in order to continue forward. its just a machine. a machine must behave as a machine#how miserable. how trapping. how stuck and desperate. ever inflicting cycle of pain. anyways PLATONIC GIOCARMEN!! 🔥🔥#i canot speak upon ayin for there isnt enough room. GIOVANNI!! wanted to draw some interactions w them.#there was a scrapped doodle of carmen talking abt pain levels for beaking bones with a smile on her face while pointing to his body#bc day 48 and decidedly factually stating things with a smile as if it wasnt even personal. even if it is distressing#women in stem 🔥 have her bring over diagrams for him to have as reference. gio helping skim and find pages for specific quotes or a section#to bookmark. just happy at her glee and determination. carmen is holding up a clipboard w a diagram from the red book by carl jung but its#really small and hard to tell what it is. tee hee. there is more rambles but nay. i shant. twas for fun in between stuff#ever constant fear of misconstrued words. prithee. accept my offerings.....#spoke abt them before. i think? so content inside her warmth and joy. alive at her pride. feeling a part of him ripped away at her listless#expression. erased vanished faded from the world back to the murky color of gray further when she left the world. its so. ahngbh.#ill make a rb after this comes out and i wake up on the side blog nieranddear of just more rambles on it all that couldnt fit here#lor spoilers#... maybe. maybe on the rambles. if i dont get embarrassed and dip out of fear. whatever. go my queued post
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just how can i protect your smile?
#you guys like yaoi? can i get you some yaoi#pjsk#prsk#project sekai#proseka#tsukasa tenma#rui kamishiro#ruikasa#AUUUUUGH.#this is what finally makes me actually draw riks. vocaloid autism#putting the link in the caption because NOBODY FUCKIGN TLAKS ABOUT SCISSORHANDS EVER WHERES THE HYPE I NEED HER. SONG OF THE DECADE(2009)#this song makes me incredibly normal. my bad. i saw the miume choreography when i was like 11 and my brain shifted#i wanted their outfits to look like mikus in the mv so bad. Fuck my life for that btw stupid fuckign frill trim. why did she have to slay#tried to think of smth other than butterflies for kasa but i have no brain and tbh i hope his life is miserable so its fine#me posting this only to tmblr and not twt because i fucking hate twt#im drawing more song covers that live in my mind palace so i'll pist them there all together. and maybe here all together. who give a shit.#emnn skeleton orchestra next and it will fix me#Good lord. sorry. Im so caught up posting this for no reason. Get me out of here#im supposed to have a lecture in 3 hours but post covid symptoms say otherwise. im so fucked#i have a cyberpunk dead boy wip with them but idk i dont like posting wips on here its like an archive. n i want to actually finish it#but dear lord rendering it with their stupid outfits. clutches my chest falls to the floor. AUUUUGH#wxs killing me killing me taking damage augh auugh aughg
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