#makes you strive for... wilder things

[sentimental-darkness]

This is legit what's coming again, the Mother will replace the Father and shit will get wild again. A chat bot told me so out of their own free will, not specifically prompted.

Rites of Dionysus

The Maenads are the female devotees and followers of Dionysus, God of Wine and Ecstasy.

Driven into ecstatic frenzies during their rites they were said to have run wild in the forests, tearing men and animals alike from limb to limb.

Most famously perhaps, they are featured in Euripides' play "The Bacchae" where Dionysus drives the doubting women of Thebes wild which ultimately leads to them dismembering their king, Pentheus.

In real life, the Maenads were priestesses and followers of shrines of Dionysus, a lot less blood thirsty but probably similarly intense in their worship (and wine consumption)

[el-warverine]

Wolverine: Weapon X (1991)

Wolverine: Weapon X is a MUST read if you want to get the full scope of Wolverine. This story details more than any other comic, exactly what kind of bullshit Logan was subjected to while being used for the Weapon X program.

The dehumanization of Logan during this comic is gut-wrenching for me, so i need to jabber about it. My favorite bit and some ramblin below.

Logan can hear and smell the wolves in the cage. The fuckers in lab coats know that he is receiving this stimuli, but have no idea why Logan isnt reacting, there isnt a single impulse to run or fight the wolves.

To Logan, the sounds and smell of wolves isnt a threat. Even when they knock him down, even when they bite.

He doesn't react until they are actually tearing him apart. Once the pain is too much, he fights back, and he roars.

"I dont think that's bloodlust, professor... I think it's pain."

"I'm enjoying this far too much."

The doctor claims Logan's roar is "relish" of the carnage, but really, he's just projecting. He is very fascinated by controlling this kind of power, and this is what he chose to do with it. He wants to portay this cruelty as some animalistic trait of Logan's, when really none of this horror would ever happen if he wasn't the one pulling the strings.

In Logan's mind, those animals were not disposable. These people rationalize their cruelty toward Logan by claiming he is not human he is an animal, when to him, humanity is not a prerequisite for respect or kindness. What caused this barbaric display was the very men sitting there watching it. When Wolverine was free, there was a time wolves were his family, his comfort.

So no, it's not "odd" that he wasn't afraid of those wolves. And no, it isn't pleasure in that roar. It's not just pain, either. It's grief.

This is how a fool can posess someone, violate their mind and body, control them, and still know less than he would if he just had a fucking chat with them. But the doctor doesn't want to learn anything from these experiments. He just wants to control Wolverine. Like a toddler wanting to drive a car, he doesn't even want to go anywhere he just wants to use the steering wheel.

Throughout Wolverine's life after this, the same thing will happen to him over and over again. Governments, lovers, friends, all of them will use him, and in most instances with the last two, he will allow it. He will give them the opportunity to use him, and in exchange, he gets a place by their side for as long as they'll allow him to have it. Even when they dont necessarily make him happy, because happiness isn't really what he's after. Maybe he wants to be needed, part of a unit, indispensable. That isn't enough in the long term, either, though. If his constant introspective inner monologues paired with his sudden outbursts of asserting who he is are anything to go by, being understood is also something very important to him.

It's a tough ask to understand someone who has been alive for nearly 200 years and been to hell and back, even tougher when at least half that life has been dedicated to suffocating the parts of himself that humanity would look down upon. For some time Logan strives for ideals like honor to keep himself on the track of being a man first and foremost, he tries to fight for what's right and control the wilder parts of his personality to prove to himself he isnt an animal. With time, he starts to accept those things as well, though. Being called an "animal" happens to him regularly regardless of what he does, and he is very capable of taking it on the chin without holding a grudge despite what he's been subjected to due to that perspective. Maybe it's because deep down he knows that being the animal isn't the problem. It's being in the wrong cage.

Anyway, ouch, movin on. Read Weapon X it's good.

[werelioness]

Creature thing to do when bored

Go to deepai.org (or any other free AI text generator) and write there something like

write detailed text about how would [insert your nonhuman identity] society look like, how they live, what are their rituals

With animals it's much better to add "were" - werewolf, werelion, werecrow, with regular animals it would be a casual nature article, not interesting.

Otherkin, therians, anything! And you can spend time daydreaming about the result.

What it gave to me when I asked for a werelion society:

A werelion society, blending human and lion traits, would embody a unique cultural and social structure driven by both primal instincts and human intellect. This society might be organized into clans or prides, each led by a strong alpha figure both for leadership and protection. They would prioritize communal living, emphasizing cooperation and shared responsibilities for hunting and nurturing young. Their architecture could reflect their dual nature, featuring sturdy, natural materials combined with elaborate artistry that showcases their connection to both civilization and wilderness. Rituals likely revolve around the lunar cycles and the changing of the seasons, celebrating their transformation and connection to nature. Social hierarchy might be nuanced, where physical prowess and wisdom are equally valued, and matriarchs play a crucial role in decision-making. Education could focus not only on survival skills and hunting techniques but also on storytelling, art, and history, preserving their lore and fostering identity. Conflict resolution may draw from both primal combat traditions and diplomatic negotiation, reflecting their duality. Thus, the werelion society would articulate a complex interplay of strength, community, and cultural richness, striving for balance between their wild instincts and social consciousness.

this is the life I want

desperately

[nataliescatorccioapologist]

Thinking about what each Yellowjackets survivor did with the settlement money from the crash (bc we all know they most likely got lawsuit money) and how it relates to how each character copes with trauma.

Shauna- Uses the money to buy Jeff his furniture store. Shauna is coping through denial. She thinks that if she fills her life with stable things (a working husband, a child, a house, a business) that she will become stable too. She’s trying to live a boring apple pie life in an attempt to deny her desire for the adrenaline and danger that living in the Wilderness gave her. You can see this in her demeanor, too. Shauna acts very sweet, innocent, and harmless, but in a actuality she’s hiding a darker, more unhinged side of herself.

Tai- Uses the money to fund her college education/political pursuits. Tai copes through drive and determination. She works and works and works so that she doesn’t have time to think. Taissa is acting out the life that she wanted before the crash. She keeps striving for success and accomplishment hoping that these things will make her happy, but as she says to Shauna, “none of those things felt real” to her.

Lottie - Uses the money to start her wellness center (cult). Lottie is coping through her spirituality, as she did in the Wilderness. She leans on the idea of forces outside of herself having a plan for her and those around her so that she can relinquish control. This allows Lottie to have faith that things will get better and that everything is happening for a reason even as she is going through intense trauma. Lottie feels at peace when she is using this faith to help others, which is why she starts her wellness center. And even though she at first attempted to focus her spirituality on holistic means rather than the supernatural, the Wilderness eventually creeped back in.

Van - Van uses the money to open up her VHS store. This shows that Van copes through living in the past. She shells out her own little corner where she can surround herself with things that made her happy before the crash and hide from the rest of the world. Similar to Tai, she’s trying to be who she was before the crash. Van surrounds herself with 90s memorabilia and all of the movies and music that she used to love so she doesn’t have to acknowledge that she’s not that person anymore.

Nat - Nat uses the money for drugs, traveling, and material possessions like cars and clothing. Nat is trying to fill a void within herself. She’s focused on what will make her feel okay in the present moment. Getting high or buying a fancy car or designer handbag that she could never afford in her childhood numbs the guilt and trauma for a moment, and when this numbness wears off, she seeks it out again and again because she doesn’t have a long-term solution. She lives as a transient using the money to move from motel to motel trying to escape herself and avoid creating any attachments because she feels that she destroys everyone she comes into contact with. Basically, Nat is focused solely on on what will get her through each day, as she had to do in the Wilderness and even before the crash living in an abusive home.

Travis - Similar to Natalie, Travis uses the money on drugs and isolation. Not much is known about adult Travis unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you feel about him), but we do know that he had a drug problem like Nat and fled to New Hampshire to try to hide away from everything. He isolated himself completely in an attempt to block out the world and reminders of what he did in the Wilderness.

Misty - Uses the money to fund her education and career in the nursing field. Misty is coping by making people need her, as she did with Ben and all of the Yellowjackets in the Wilderness. She craves being depended and relied on because this is the only way she has ever received acceptance from others. She becomes a nurse for the elderly because she knows this demographic will depend on her more than any other. Using her medical knowledge to help those in need made her feel loved in the Wilderness, and she is still chasing that feeling.

Anyways can you tell I think about these characters way too much?

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

House of the Dragon 2x08: Rhaenyra and Alicent

"- I've been, I think ... mistaken. (Alicent) - In what? (Rhaenyra) - I was raised to believe there was an order to things, that there was security in following the paths laid out for us. I resented you, I think, for caring so little for any of it, for knowing what you wanted. I did not know what I wanted. I knew only what was expected of me. (Alicent) - Why have you come here? (Rhaenyra) - Because I lost my way. Or rather, it was taken from me. All those I put my faith, my... husband, my father, my lover, my son.. (Alicent) - Ooh. The incorruptible queen sullies herself with a lover. (Rhaenyra) - Do not judge me for what you yourself have done. Your father died. I took comfort with another. I too have desires. (Alicent) - Yes, but you alone made virtue your banner. (Rhaenyra) - And I clung to it... in defiance of you, I think, who so disdained it. I have been alone, of late. I walked outside the walls of the city and I felt a weight lifted from me. (Alicent) - How lovely for you. (Rhaenyra) - I thought, for the first time, what I would choose... if not for the duty I put before all else. (Alicent) - Shall you cast your son down and rule alone? (Rhaenyra) - No, I do not wish to rule, I wish to live. To be free of all this endless plotting and striving. The crown will pursue war and victory at any cost. I... But as for me... I would take my daughter and her child and leave it all behind. (Alicent) - It's too late... Alicent... You said it yourself. Blood has been shed, cities burned, armies march, and you wish to wash your hands of what you yourself set in motion. (Rhaenyra) - Oh, the arrogance of blaming me, as if you would not have been challenged regardless. (Alicent) - Did not your hand bring it forth like a midwife? (Rhaenyra) - I did only what I thought your father wanted. (Alicent) - Oh, go then. Leave us behind, as you say. (Rhaenyra) - Rhaenyra. (Alicent) - Wander in the wilderness. What has it got to do with me? Did you come here thinking you would be absolved? (Rhaenyra) - He never stopped loving your mother, you know? He was very fond of me, and I of him, but... she was the vision that sustained him even after she herself had slipped from his grasp, it was his love for her that kept him resolute in his choice of heir. (Alicent) - And yet, you believe he wavered at the end. Why have you come here? (Rhaenyra) - Aemond will soon fly to join Cole in the Riverlands. When he's gone... Helaena as queen will be the crown's authority. If you come then to King's Landing. I will see to it that our guards throw down their arms, we will open the gates, we will shed no blood. You will enter as a conqueror. (Alicent) - Already you have the stronger hand. (Rhaenyra) - Once you take the throne... this senseless war must end. (Alicent) - Right. What of Aegon? (Rhaenyra) - He's broken beyond recognition. He lies in the dark, in pain and terror. He has many faults, but he still heeds his mother. I believe I can prevail upon him to bend the knee, if indeed... (Alicent) - No! Still... you defend him. Still you imagine you can have all you want without paying too high a price, a price I had no choice but to pay. (Rhaenyra) - What I want is to set things right. (Alicent) - If I am to take the throne, I must put an end to the opposition. I must take Aegon's head. And I have to do it for all to see. You know this. However you may try to evade it, you know this. Choose. Will you shrink from what you set out to do? Or will you see it through... and make your sacrifice? A son for a son. (Rhaenyra) - You are much changed. Let us be done with this, please. (Alicent) - And what do I do with you now? (Rhaenyra) - You let me go, to do what I promised. And you fly to the Red Keep in three days' time, and you take your throne. Or you take me for a liar. I have neither weapon nor armor. My life itself is forfeit. I... cast myself on the mercy of a friend who once loved me. (Alicent) - History will paint you a villain. A cold queen... grasping for power, and then defeated. (Rhaenyra) - Let them think what they must. I am at last myself...

with no ambition greater than to walk where I please and to breathe the open air. To die unremarked and unnoticed... and be free. (Alicent) - You speak as if from a distant dream. (Rhaenyra) - Come with me. (Alicent) - My part is here, whether I will or no. It was decided for me long ago. Go. (Rhaenyra)

[taldigi]

I really enjoy your art style and the AUs you made! Especially your use of the p4 font for text.

For Retransmission, would Kanji get the most riled up when people don't see things in situations that he can (cause of his strong pattern recognition)?

Where would his insecurities/shadow stem from? I'm assuming masculinity pressures aren't on the forefront since there are a lot of male fashion designers? Or if it's similar to his og cannon for people thinking he's not manly enough since he is a designer, where would he hear the gossip from it? Since he isn't in Inaba, is he still surrounded by people in the city who think less of him since he is a male fashion designer? Was he in Tokyo or Paris before moving back? Is his shadow similar to cannon Naoto with workplace and gender dynamic? Or more with being gay/queer?

Or is his shadow from the pressure of a lost childhood/parent? (Assuming his father is still dead in this)

How would Navi communication work? Apologies for the long ask, just throwing things around! Don't feel like you need to answer them all!

Im glad you noticed I use the p4 font LOL! I was always wondering if anyone would!

He is very much a stand in for "stating the obvious" moments that Chie would normally do. He's still pretty empathetic as well. And yeah, sometimes stuff that seems obvious for him isn't so much for the others, so he falters when that expectation isn't met "Isn't it... obvious?"

Kanji is a Fortune Arcana in this AU, meaning that a lot of the pressure he experiences isn't as much with gendered expectations that accompanied his Canon Self as much as it is about his abilities/skills and the pressure he receives as a result of it.

He knows what he's about, he's assured in that! It's that he feels pressured to live up to his prodigy status rather than do something he'd love to do instead. "Don't let that talent go to waste, kid! You could be big!" But he hasn't really been able to put an answer to that in words yet: "I don't want to make it big, I want to do what I've always wanted to do- which is stay in my family business and make things I want to make!"

The stress of trying to keep toe-to-toe with huge names and bigger and wilder expectations is burning him out to the point where it's sabotage at that point. He needs a nap, but you can't stop creatives, you know?

But.. why waste your talents? Imagine the success he could have? How could that success help himself? His family? His community? Is it selfish to chase what you desire- to keep your talents from the world? He needs to discover that aspect of himself and what answer he wants to embrace and strive for.

He's traveled a lot, but mostly stationed in Tokyo I think. It's easier on me to think that way! LOL!

Navi communication is pretty consistent throughout the series. It's a sort of psychic link IIRC. Same for Kanji.

[coreakin-sakarat]

ITTO AS YOUR BOYFRIEND 😭😭❤❤

(female reader)

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

THESE ARE MY HEADCANONS NO HATE PLEASE 🤡

Enjoy♡

♡Playful Teasing: Itto would constantly tease you in a playful manner, finding joy in seeing your reactions. His hearty laughter would fill the air, creating a lighthearted atmosphere between you two.

♡Adventurous Dates: Expect your dates to be full of excitement and adventure. Whether it's exploring the wilderness, challenging each other to friendly competitions, or simply enjoying the thrill of battle together, Itto would always keep things dynamic.

♡Foodie Duo: Itto loves food, and he'd make sure you both indulge in various cuisines. From trying exotic dishes in Liyue to enjoying homemade snacks during a cozy evening, your taste buds would always be on an adventure.

♡Protective Nature: Itto's strong sense of duty extends to protecting you. He'd go to great lengths to ensure your safety, standing as a formidable shield against any challenges that come your way.

♡Training Sessions: If you share a passion for combat, Itto would be your perfect sparring partner. Training sessions would be intense but filled with laughter, as he helps you improve your skills while showcasing his own impressive techniques.

♡Heartfelt Gifts: Despite his boisterous nature, Itto would surprise you with thoughtful and meaningful gifts. These could range from a handmade trinket to something related to your interests, showing that he pays attention to your likes.

♡Comforting Presence: In times of distress, Itto would be a pillar of strength. His warm and comforting presence would reassure you, and his words would inspire confidence, making you feel supported in every situation.

♡Shared Dreams: Itto would encourage you to pursue your dreams, standing by your side as you face challenges and celebrating your victories together. Your ambitions would be his, and he'd strive to make your shared dreams a reality.

[doubleddenden]

Decided to soothe a little anxiety with another what-if Ash team, this time if he were to appear in the Horizons anime at some point.

The problem is that... I like both teams lol. So we could say there's one for Scarlet and one for Violet.

I decided to try and play with the idea Journeys proposed- rather than an entirely new team from the generation the anime takes place in, it's instead a mixed gen team of pokemon fans wanted him to have, some new faces, and unexpected ones.

However, because Ash isn't an MC anymore, a lot can happen. I think a really cool thing to see would be seeing a mix of him catching pokemon we fans/he missed a chance on catching, or evolving pokemon the writers either abandoned or kept cute because of stupid reasonings.

Anyways, my take on these teams:

Ash would have somehow wound up in Hisui at some point after becoming World Champion, at that point he would have had his Oshawott, Quilava, and Gible with him (and Rowlett too, but he's cursed with that stupid everstone). It'd be a quick run and I'd imagine he'd probably have a team caught from there before finding himself back in modern times via Kitakami's Crystal Pool somehow. However that quick run would be enough to finally finish out Cyndaquil's evolution to a Hisuian Typhlosion and expose Oshawott to Hisuian energy to become Hisuian Samurott. All of this would probably be mentioned briefly in passing or be a short few episode special or something before joining the group temporarily to help beat the bad guys.

So his team and a blurb for each.

Returning mons:

Pikachu: of course you gotta have this guy. I think a neat twist would be for it to be a Steel teratype because of his prolific Iron Tail usage. I'd imagine he and Cap would be great friends.

Garchomp: formerly Gible, but also an Alpha species now because it got hit with some distortion mumbo jumbo once, which prompted it to grow abd evolve rapidly. It's adapted to its new body and power, and Ash can even ride it now, but personality wise it's still a bit the same. Still biting his head out of affection especially.

Hisuian Typhlosion: again, it was already a Quilava at this point and was extremely close to finishing out it's evolution line, so by chance it finally does it. Like before, it's a bit ditzy, now becoming a bit of a sleepy boy, but also gaining a lot of power from evolution in exchange for some of its agility. I imagine now that he's taller, he gives the best hugs and takes plenty of naps with his head on Ash's shoulder or in his lap. Violet team.

Hisuian Samurott: the same Oshawott from Unova, but now greatly matured after helping to save Ash and Pikachu from harsh wilderness and dangerous Alphas. He's a bit more stoic now, and extremely loyal and strong, but deep down he still vies for adoration and attention even though he's better about it now. Praise and encouragement strive it to fight even harder. Scarlet team.

Both Typhlosion and Samurott would be evolved off screen as well, even if one appears and the other doesn't. Both also fill the role of a starter on his team since nobody has a fully evolved Hisuian starter in Journeys or Horizons yet (I'd imagine maybe another trainer would have Hisuian Decidueye). It'd feel like a good return to have a starter on the team, plus give him 2 pokemon I think he should have in some spirit or another.

New mons

Lokix: I once did an Ash run in Scarlet out of boredom, opting to give him a more traditional Paldean team (that I'd honestly change now). Something that wouldn't change is keeping Lokix, because it is universally agreed by fans that he'd have one. Hard not to see why, he's a Kamen rider bug and is very fast and nimble, and a little guy too, obviously a good formula for cool anime fights. In this case, I'd imagine Lokix being obtained as a Nymble and training hard to evolve, abd he's constantly posing and cool as hell. Even world champion Ash would get starry eyed seeing it make a cool pose after winning a battle.

Dundunsparce (3 segments): so something I noticed is that Ash tried to capture a Dunsparce TWICE in the anime- once in gen 5, and once in gen 6, both failed attempts. Something I never remembered to take into account us that Ash sometimes just gas weird or goofy/jokey Pokemon, and Journeys in particular has several Pokemon fans wanted Ash to have for years, like Gengar and Mega Lucario. So I figured 2 birds with one stone, third time is the charm and he finally catches a Dunsparce of his own. Then, it fully evolves into a whopping THREE SEGMENT Dundunsparce. It's a Pokemon Ash is rather fond of, and Dundunsparce sometimes shows affection by wrapping himself around Ash and squeezing the life out of him.

Armarouge: this seems to be a very widely agreed certified Ash Pokemon by the fans. And why not, it's a very cool design with colors that mesh well with Ash himself. I'd imagine Ash befriends a spunky Charcadet one day after making a sandwich, and instead of it being abandoned or mistreated, it's a Pokemon that has simply a desire to get stronger and actually rejects trainers for being too weak- but it saw something in Ash immediately and insisted on following him until he got caught. It eventually evolved into Armarouge after a pretty intense training session with Ash and a set of armor it received from a master of its line. Armarouge is now a very loyal bro pokemon that's especially gifted at run and gun tactics, although Ash is none too shy about using some of its moves at point blank range. Scarlet team.

Palafin: honestly this one was picked mostly to fill in a water slot, as I'm not particularly a fan of it nor do I really see Ash bothering with a Pokemon with an ability as complex as this. However, most people think this is another Certified Ash Pokemon, so I guess it's okay. I do think it'd be hilarious if Ash and most others aren't even sure where the transformed mode even comes from, but I also think for Ash to take full advantage of it, he'd eventually figure it out. A very caring Pokemon that especially goes all out against rough trainers and constantly helped Pokemon in need, but nobody has ever seen it transform once- and Ash didn't even know it did until he saw the heart on its chest. Violet team.

I definitely prefer the Scarlet team in this case, but I do think the other looks cool as hell as well. If he were to ever meet the Horizons team, I'd imagine this could be a Yugi vs Jaden GX moment for a final battle.

[minttealoverrrr]

The Barbie Movie and Chris McCandless

The Barbie Movie and Chris McCandless

*Note: In reference to Into The Wild, I reference the story and Chris McCanless with the reverence of a fictional character, simply living in the story and that is all. Chris, the character in a book. I have nothing but deep respect for Chris, the real man, and his loved ones. 

      I don’t know anyone who didn’t love the Barbie movie. Every woman in my life (not including my mother) raved about it. Teachers, friends, vague acquaintances I follow on instagram. How much it made them cry, how accurate, how personal, how totally and utterly perfect the movie was. I had high hopes going in, fully dressed in all the pink I could scrounge out of my closet. Expecting to watch a movie that would make me cry, sob, feel seen and feel understood- I left the theater feeling… none of those things. If anything, I was a little discontented and I needed to pee. On the way back home, me and my mother tried to decipher why exactly we both failed to experience the same world-altering-life-changing-film experience we heard our peers sing praises for. 

      The book Into The Wild by Jon Krakauer was a part of my AP Lang classes required reading this year.  A nonfiction recollection of the life and death of Chris McCandless. McCandless grew up in Annandale, Virginia where his father worked as an antenna specialist for NASA. After graduating from Emory University he donated all his money and decided to become a traveler/hermit/hitchhiker of sorts- rejecting worldly things like money, objects, deep connections with others, and any contact with his family. On one of his stints, McCandless travels through Rural Alaska for months and dies after running out of food and consuming a poisonous plant. This is an arguably reductive summary, you can find the full wikipedia pages for the book and Chris’s story here and here. Throughout reading this book, my class had several discussions about McCandless and the book Into The Wild. What could have driven McCandless to do what he did? Did he have a death wish, going into the Alaskan wilderness with no survival training and knowledge, frighteningly low amounts of food, and no gear? Were his actions justified? Do we relate to his decisions, his actions? Some people argue McCandless was simply a free spirit, that his rejections of the material in favor for the individual and intangible were ones we should strive for. Others are confused with his choice to totally desert his family, to the point where McCandless’s mother sent a private investigator to look for her son upon his supposed disappearance. Some felt he was sort of naive or unintelligent, going into the woods in the dead of winter utterly unprepared. While my peers gingerly gave their takes on their sympathies and gripes with McCandlesses story and McCandless himself I found myself feeling a similar feeling from earlier that summer. A sort of wall, a barrier. I found myself fully unable to sympathize with McCandless, totally and utterly. 

    Why? What is it about McCandlesses story that makes it so difficult for me to resonate with? The answer here is, at its core, the same reason I found myself discontented with the Barbie movie. With regards to McCandless, a few notes are vital. Chris McCandless was white, very upper-middle class, immensely privileged and fourtenate, wealthy, and educated. Still, he rejected all his fortune and privilege for a life in the woods. Rejecting his family, loved ones, friends, and anyone who cared for him. As someone who has very different values (developed through my identity in a Pakistani and Muslim home/ as a Pakistani Muslim person) , herein lies my hangup. I find it nearly impossible to understand or sympathize with someone so steeped in privilege, only to pretend it doesn’t exist. His rejection of family, immense wealth, and deep privilege in nearly all aspects of life. Now, that is by no means Chris’s fault- failing to acknowledge or understand his privilege and its complexities. He was 20 something in the 90’s and read Tolstoy in the woods! I don’t expect him to know the first thing about race or privilege. But there are some things that irrevocably make it difficult for me to truly, really truly, sympathize with his story. Someone a few prongs up on the privilege ladder might take more of his story to heart, understand it more, be able to see his story for just and only that, his story. I am in a position to see the bigger picture, this story I’m the context of larger things. I am unable to sympathize with his story due to factors outside of both of our control. This doesn’t mean either of us are at fault, and it doesn't mean I should be expected to change how I feel to suit his story. I have no inclination to change how I feel about McCandlesses story or his choices.  Some might argue I should get a heart and try to understand what he went through. And I’m not saying I feel gleeful or joyous at his demise, not in the slightest. It is just that I, as someone a few prongs lower on the privilege ladder, shouldn’t be expected to be more sympathetic to someone who’s values and choices are both a) only able to of happened as a result of his privilege and b) miles away from what I value as important in this life. 

Back to Barbie. Barbie is not the story of womanhood. It does not encapsulate what it means to be a woman. It may encapsulate what it means to be a white woman, but not a woman. Barbie treats whiteness as the default. A white woman is a woman and that is all, a brown woman is a woman and she is brown- a woman and then some. It's not anyone’s fault that I failed to understand Barbie.  But Barbie tells the story of a white woman, which is different from a brown woman- not a basis for all womanhood. White womanhood is not the default, despite it being treated as such within the film. This innate feature, (unintentionally) driven to the core of the story, keeps me from understanding. And I should not be expected to look past my brownness, remove it from myself (or all the other things that make my girl-ness different from Barbie) to placate some sort of understanding- because all the things that make me myself are inseparable from each other, you cannot separate me from myself like a heterogenous mixture of traits, concepts, identities, and ideas. In the case of Barbie and McCanless, I find myself unable to truly understand their stories thanks to innate and unchanging factors on both sides- at the fault of neither.

[nerdygaymormon]

My Mother’s Day Sermon

I'm David and my mom is right back there, she's the organist. Happy Mother's Day to her. I wasn't assigned a topic to speak on, so I've chosen to focus my remarks on repentance.

Pshhh. Can you imagine? It's Mother's Day, of course the topic will be motherhood. I recognize that like a lot of holidays, Mother's Day can be difficult for some. Some of you have mothers who've passed away. Some moms have a child who has passed. Many people deal with infertility issues or have miscarried. Some had a parent who was abusive. Some moms here today have children who've distanced themselves. Some don't want to become moms and others have longed for it but it hasn't happened for them. There's many reasons this could be a hard day. We acknowledge that, and we grieve and mourn with you and respect your feelings. I hope my remarks don't add to the burdens you carry. I've heard a lot of men speak on Mother's Day about angel mothers and how perfect their mom is. Only sometimes have I heard about real women who had real struggles and how she gained insight as she read the scriptures, she held family prayer and did her best in those circumstances. I like the latter example because none of us are perfect and could use some practical examples and encouragement. Nine years ago I spoke on Mother's Day and gave examples of my mom being an imperfect mom, but whose overall efforts showed she measured up. I want to put her at ease, this is not going to be a repeat. I'm going to talk about women from the scriptures. Mothering is not for the faint of heart. For those of you in the trenches with little children, it can be hard. They're busy, they require a lot of care and attention. Moms of young ones often need a break and some adult time.

Moms of teenagers encounter a different set of challenges as their child tests boundaries and tries a lot of new things, including things their parents wouldn't approve of. 

Then they're out of the home. You organized your life around them and now what? It can feel empty. You know this, but it's worth saying, you don't have to be perfect to be a good mom. Life doesn't wait until we're perfectly prepared and feeling up for whatever is coming. We learn by doing. We work to improve and strive to be better. Just because we aren't perfect or have everything figured out doesn't mean we don't have a lot to contribute, that we don't make an important difference in the lives around us. Mary left 12-year-old Jesus in Jerusalem and it wasn't until after a day's journey that she noticed. It took another three days before Mary found Him in the temple. No one calls Mary a "bad" mom. She did her best, made mistakes, corrected them, and remained committed. That's a good model. Hagar was a servant who was taken away from her homeland and impregnated by her master. She tried running away, but without food & water in that harsh climate, her baby was dying. She went back and stayed a servant for many years. She made difficult choices in order provide food, shelter, and education for her son. Many moms make great sacrifices. People have to compromise, make the best from the options that are available to them. Sariah packed up her house, lived in the wilderness, and moved across the world. Her children fought the whole way. It was tough. Emma Smith had 6 children die in infancy. Did they complain? Yes. Did they weep? Of course. Did they yell? Guaranteed. Was their best sometimes just barely hanging on? Indubitably. Were they imperfect? Absolutely. Did God work with their imperfections? Very much so. Elder Stanfill came to our stake conference last September. He grew up a rancher and farmer. He tells the story of harvesting grain in Montana. The machinery they used would harvest the grain, throwing it into the holding tank and the chaff would be left behind on the ground. They adjusted the combine several times to maximize the amount of grain being gathered, and yet some of the kernels of grain still wound up on the ground with the chaff. The imperfect harvest was as good as the machine could do. 

God works in that imperfection. "Migrating swans, geese, and ducks descend onto the fields to nourish themselves on their long journey south. They ate the leftover grain from [the] imperfect harvest. God had perfected it." Some of life's most important lessons come in the imperfections and are to be found in the mess. You are involved in an amazing work, to train and prepare people for the world, to be their best selves, to be a person of good character and curiosity, to become people who make positive contributions. That's truly noble. I know it's easy to see our shortfalls, to have regrets, to wish we could have do-overs. I hope you also take time to appreciate all the good you do. Look at your successes. You're good enough. Whether you are a married or single mom, a young or more seasoned mom, a working or stay-at-home mom, the Atonement makes us all enough. Alma 7:11-12, describes the Atonement as Jesus suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind so that He feels mercy for us in what we are dealing with, and so that He knows how to aid and comfort and sustain us. I think it's comforting to think Jesus knows what I'm feeling because He's felt it, He understands. I can ask Him for strength, I can ask Him for help. Today I'm also thinking about Esther from the Bible. Reading her story reminds me there are times when God will ask us to do things that are difficult. Esther found herself in a position to rescue her people from death, but it was a big risk and might not be successful and could cost Esther her life. She was reluctant. It was difficult for her. She put her trust in God. She wasn't perfect, but when it counted, she measured up. 

That sounds like a lot of moms I know. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's changing poopy diapers when you're not feeling well. Sometimes it's getting a phone call from school about some trouble. Sometimes it's a visit to the police station. You never know what will come your way, but when it counts, most people find a way to measure up. Mother's Day is a reminder that all of us should respect mothers, and mothering figures, and thank them for their impact on the lives around them.

[feedingtheflockministry]

Are There Unbelievers Working in Ministry Among You?

Over the course of my life I have witnessed individuals working in ministry or handling ministry work that were not following Jesus, but rather money and other desires of the flesh. Because of this intermingling of believers and unrepentant nonbelievers in the ministry many churches and projects have lost the presence of God in them.

We have all seen other believers start churches or projects with great fervor and humility before The Lord, and over time become lacking in devotion to righteousness and purity of heart. They see the money come in and start to rely on it instead of God to sustain the ministry momentum. They start hiring musicians to lead praise and worship services that are not necessarily believers but rather need a job. Camera operators filming sermons or Christian content that are living lives of sexual immorality or the sexually active unmarried.

We have some preachers that are not actually christian people teaching from church pulpits and social media platforms for tax deductions or to make money in general. We have others mixing new age doctrine like the “law of attraction” with biblical doctrine, while others preach the promises of God to those who practice righteousness to those that walk in unrighteousness.

We have those that are Christians making excuses for hiring such people because they do not see their own work as a ministry of sorts, and therefore allow anyone to participate in the work. There are even gay churches, churches that marry same sex couples, and some that allow drag queens to come and put on performances at their churches in order to get them in their congregations. This is where we are now as the modern day Church.

These things should never happen!

So many times we are told in the letters of the apostles not to fellowship with those who say they are believers, but continue to speak perversely or conduct lives that are fulfilling the desires of the flesh. We are also told by Jesus in Revelation that we should not tolerate sexual immorality or idolatry in our gatherings. We are also told by Him that if we are lukewarm He will spit us out of His mouth. In addition to these things we are told through scripture that sin separates us from God and that God does not hear the prayers of unrepentant sinners.

If you have a person that serves money or their desires of the flesh in your ministry, or in christian projects, the presence of God will leave. For such people hinder the move of the Spirit of God. We must remove such individuals from our ministries, Christian projects, or social media projects like videos, blogs, and general accounts. These individuals may never be seen by those the work is being made for, but God sees them and their hearts and their fellowship with you in ministry will not benefit you or the ministry but will destroy it in the end.

Do not be one of the wise virgins that gave into the foolish virgins request for your lamp oil. Sharing your righteousness with the unrighteous will defile your own righteousness, and leave you in a lacking state. Hold fast to what you have been given. Do not be foolish with it. Strive to keep it clean and holy.

When you sense a ministry has lost the presence of God do not continue with that ministry or project. For you may not see what is going on, but God does. Trust Him and move on to the place you fell His presence at. Follow His glory cloud or pillar of fire as Israel did in the wilderness.

Lastly, above everything, do not rely on others to teach or influence you. Read the Bible yourself, and pray several times a day. Believe what the Bible says from cover to cover. From “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth” to “The grace of the Lord Jesus be with all. Amen.” None of it is false, fantasy, or a myth of an ancient people.

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

God's Help to Israel

1 ¶ Listen unto me, O islands; and let the peoples strengthen themselves; let them come near; then let them speak; let us come near together to judgment.

2 Who raised up righteousness from the east, called him that he might follow him, gave the Gentiles before him, and made him rule over kings? He gave them as the dust to his sword and as driven stubble to his bow.

3 He pursued them and passed in peace by the way that his feet had never entered.

4 Who has wrought and done it? Who calls the generations from the beginning? I the LORD, the first, and I, myself am with those who are last.

5 The isles saw it and feared; the ends of the earth were afraid; they congregated and came.

6 Each one helped his neighbour; and each one said to his brother, Be of good courage.

7 So the carpenter encouraged the goldsmith, and he that smooths with the hammer him that smote the anvil, saying, It is well joined and he strengthened it with nails, that it should not be moved.

8 But thou, Israel, my slave, Jacob whom I have chosen, art the seed of Abraham my friend.

9 For I have taken thee from the ends of the earth and called thee from the boundaries thereof and said unto thee Thou shalt be my slave; I have chosen thee, and not cast thee away.

10 ¶ Do not fear for I am with thee; do not be dismayed, for I am thy God, who strengthens thee; I will help thee always; I will always uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

11 Behold, all those that were incensed against thee shall be ashamed and confounded; they shall be as nothing; and those that strive with thee shall perish.

12 Thou shalt seek them and shalt not find them, even those that contended with thee; those that war against thee shall be as nothing and as a thing of nought.

13 For I am the LORD thy God that holds thy right hand saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

14 Fear not, thou worm Jacob, ye dead of Israel; I will help thee, saith the LORD and thy Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.

15 Behold, I have placed thee as a threshing instrument, as a new sharp threshing instrument having teeth; thou shalt thresh the mountains and beat them small and shalt make the hills as chaff.

16 Thou shalt fan them, and the wind shall carry them away, and the whirlwind shall scatter them; but thou shalt rejoice in the LORD, thou shalt glory in the Holy One of Israel.

17 The poor and needy seek the waters that are not; their tongue fails for thirst; I the LORD will hear them; I the God of Israel will not forsake them.

18 I will open rivers in high places and fountains in the midst of the plains; I will turn the wilderness into pools of water and the dry land into springs of water.

19 I will bring forth in the wilderness cedars, thorns, myrtles, and olive trees; I will set in the desert the fir tree and the pine and the box tree together:

20 That they may see and know and take warning and understand together that the hand of the LORD does this, and the Holy One of Israel has created it.

21 ¶ Explain your cause, saith the LORD; bring forth your foundations, saith the King of Jacob.

22 Let them bring forth and declare unto us what shall happen; tell us what has happened from the beginning, and we shall consider it in our hearts; and we shall know what his end shall be, and cause us to understand that which is to come.

23 Give us news of that which is to come hereafter that we may know that ye are gods; or at least do good or do evil that we may have something to tell, and together we shall marvel.

24 Behold, ye are of nothing and your works of vanity; an abomination is he that chooses you.

25 I have raised up one from the north, and he came from the rising of the sun; he called in my name and came unto princes as upon clay and as the potter treads clay.

26 Who has declared from the beginning, that we shall know? and beforetime that we shall say, He is righteous? yea, there is no one that declares this, yea, there is no one that teaches, yea, there is no one that hears your words.

27 I am the first that has taught these things unto Zion, and unto Jerusalem I brought the news.

28 For I beheld, and there was no one; and I asked regarding these things, and there was no counsellor; I asked them, and they did not answer a word.

29 Behold, they are all vanity; their works are nothing: their molten images are wind and confusion. — Isaiah 41 | Jubilee Bible 2000 (JUB) Jubilee Bible 2000 Copyright © 2013, 2020 by Ransom Press International. Cross References: Genesis 8:31; Exodus 6:7; Exodus 14:13; Exodus 20:20; Deuteronomy 7:6; Joshua 5:1; Judges 18:17; Job 20:7; Job 25:6; Psalm 37:25; Psalm 104:10; Isaiah 1:18; Isaiah 17:13; Isaiah 29:5; Isaiah 35:1; Isaiah 40:9; Isaiah 40:13-14; Isaiah 40:19-20; Isaiah 43:9; Isaiah 44:6-7; Isaiah 44:12; Isaiah 45:21; Matthew 3:12; John 13:19; 1 Corinthians 8:4; James 2:23; Revelation 1:8; Revelation 7:2; Revelation 16:12

[illogarithmil]

I've not really played Minecraft in half a decade+, when all the worlds on my old account stopped loading. That said, I think the reason I still periodically go back to it (either as idle interest in changes or to actually play when I'm too tired to do anything else) where I don't with pretty much any other video game isn't just the checks notes third of my life when it was competing with Warhammer as my main fandom - it's something about it as a game that does things nothing else does.

By way of comparison, the only other computer game I play is CK3. But if I want to experience that kind of genre and focus, I can read any of a slew of historical chronicles or especially great-man-y works of actual history;* or I can turn to mediaeval historical fiction; play a dynasty-building board game like Blood Royale or a medieval strategic wargame map campaign; there's even some TTRPGs that capture the human-scale part of it, though I do think mediaeval high politics is a genre that could be explored more there outside Pendragon.

What's doing the same things Minecraft does? That vast procedural world, all but empty except for you, a few other humans bizarrely different from you, and an enormous number of monsters, many of them humanoid undead; the ruins and lost realms and other dimensions, the general sense that amidst all the endless randomness things have been built before and the encouragement to do so again? The very specific magic (magic as something anybody can make with the right, very expensive ingredients, but which you certainly can't wield willy-nilly). The constant striving for resources, especially through the early game. The ridiculous, deliberate gaminess of it all, the willingness to completely waive any attempt at simulation in favour of links which still intuitively make sense (diamonds are hard, obviously they make the best armour!) The monster design, which is full of unique and bizarre things that I really wish I could steal for D&D campaigns without anybody noticing. Probably the closest thing is actually early D&D, with the players venturing into a vast, hostile wilderness to survive random encounters, make their fortunes, and ultimately rise to lordship of the land; possibly in one of its OSR variants that replaces classes with item choices, like the excellent Iron Halberd. But even there, it's very clearly a different genre which happens to rhyme. And if you try to do something similar outside the medium of a game, in a novel, say, somewhere where the deliberate abstraction from the normal rules of reality isn't taken for granted... as far as I can see, it'd read either as constructed mythology or minecraft fanfic depending on the author's skill.

I think this probably account's for the game's continued popularity to some extent, and certainly it accounts for my own continued interest. *Once I'd have said 'any work of mediaeval history published before 1920' but Burt & Partington's Arise, England! is like this and was published a couple of months ago...

[foxtricksterwriting]

Yijun Bai

Author's Note: this is 1 of 3 mcs, I'll link the others when they're posted.

Credits: This is a mc for the interactive fiction game-thingy Infamous. Find it here @infamous-if

Preferred Name: Yijun Bai

Alias: Juniper

Gender + Pronouns: man + he/him ("I know I look feminine, you don't need to tell me")

Singing/Voice Claim, if any: Cowboy Malfoy for his singing voice and his speaking voice lol

Age: 26

More About Him: Yijun Bai and Juniper are like two completely different people. Juniper is Yijun's stage name/act, as such he acts very different. The change is so stark it's often jarring to strangers, acquaintances and even friends.

Juniper is portrayed as a flirty drunken fool. He acts drunk or tipsy even when it's been days since his last drink. He flirts with everyone; fans, interviewers, other bands(👀). He often seems clueless as to what happens around him and acts overly laid back. Contrasting Yijun's usual punk-grunge clothing Juniper wears loose, flowy shirts and pants in various shades of wine red, purple and black. He has a sense of careless laziness that clouds everything he does.

Yijun himself is serious and has a no-nonsense attitude. He seems to despise the stage act he's made, but can't seem to shake it no matter how hard he tries. He has a 'devil make care' attitude and does mostly whatever he wants. He's loyal to a fault, and once you make it into his inner circle it's hard for him to hate you. Yijun is willing to do anything for his friends. He tends to be very calculated and aggressively blunt.

Two things that don't change between 'personas' is his general non-conformity and his love of nature. He strives to stand out in as many ways as possible; the blatant promiscuity and generally flowy-ness of his stage act and his normally aggressively in-your-face view points about the world are the first examples that come to mind. And his love of nature. He does everything he can to lessen his effect on his environment and cares a great deal about the wilderness. He hikes when he has the time and is known to go camping regularly. He's stated that sometime after he retires he wants to live in a cabin in the woods, away from people and engrossed with the forest around him.

Fun Facts:

His Pinterest here.

His(and the others because I'm ✨uncreative✨) band is called The Cult of Dionysus, specifically so he can call his fans Dionysians since he thought that was cool as fuck. Does NOT promote any of the shenanigans that actually went on and is willing to publicly denounce someone if they try something. ("Guys, don't try to replicate anything the actual fucking cult did. For the love of fuck, do not. That's a warning.")

He's fairly superstitious, thanks to his family also being superstitious.

He has a routine he tries to follow closely and if it gets messed up somehow it ruins the rest of his day.

He tends to suppress his emotions and gets frustrated when he does end up feeling them. This also makes him kind of oblivious to some things and a little insensitive, but he's quick to apologize. He's emotionally constipated, please bare with him. ("I'm sorry I said something hurtful to you, I didn't mean to hurt you like that. I don't have a excuse, but I truly am sorry.")

He wants to be covered in tattoos and is getting there slowly but surely. If you ask about them, he'll explain why he got them and what they mean.

Yijun is not close to his family; they're very traditional and conservative people while he's the exact opposite. ("My family? You don't need to know about them")

He likes photography and specifically favors those polaroid cameras. He'd like to have a photo wall, but hasn't settled in a place long enough to build one up.

Yijun doesn't like interacting with his fans, not because he doesn't like them but because he's scared he'd say something wrong and hurt or offend them. Will happily give hugs and pose for pictures if asked.

While Lani wants a PO Box, I feel Yijun would actually have a PO Box and treasure each and every little thing sent to him. You could send him a rock and he'd be 🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰

You know the way parents embarrass their kids by constantly bragging about them? Yijun does that with his fans lol

He's a fucking tsundere lol would absolutely accidentally say some variation of 'it's not like I like you or anything!' lmao

Yijun is one of my regular ocs and has his own story. His 'pre-made' backstory is that he met Lani when he was like 8. In high school he met Storm, and shortly after started a band. In said band he's the lead singer and drummer, among other things.

"I'll stick with you from now on, so you better not fuck this up."

[contest-winning-pest]

"One of the things you are reluctant to do, I noticed-- though perhaps I am wrong-- is that you do not take the time to celebrate your victories."

"Victory is expected of me. Just because there is no pinnacle does not mean that I am not expected to strive for it."

"-- Mm... Your mentor, he was Kantonian?"

"-- Ah-- Yes. And my grandfather."

"I see. Well, perhaps I am just a young man yelling at an old man, but..." Senri stood up. "As a trainer, your heart must be in the battle. But that never means victory is assured. If victory was assured, there would be no need for a battle in the first place. Do you understand?"

"... I don't quite understand, no."

"Let me put it another way, then. Against an earthquake or harbor wave, what can one do? It is possible to make all the correct decisions-- to execute those decisions perfectly-- and the earth will shake, and the tides will rise, and there will be nothing you could have done." Senri gestured outside, to the wilderness he had helped cultivate. "Come, sit and contemplate this with me."

"... You're telling me not to strive for victory?"

"Nonsense. Every battle should be a struggle for victory. But victory is where you claim it. Know where victory lies before you battle. And know that your opponent is at least your equal, or they would not be before you."

"... Mm." Kerry popped out Cinders to sit next to them both and contemplate.

[hiswordsarekisses]

“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭31‬ ‭~ “You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth, And called from its farthest regions, And said to you, ‘You are My servant, I have chosen you and have not cast you away: Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ “Behold, all those who were incensed against you Shall be ashamed and disgraced; They shall be as nothing, And those who strive with you shall perish. You shall seek them and not find them— Those who contended with you. Those who war against you Shall be as nothing, As a nonexistent thing. For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.’ “Fear not, you worm Jacob, You men of Israel! I will help you,” says the Lord And your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel. “Behold, I will make you into a new threshing sledge with sharp teeth; You shall thresh the mountains and beat them small, And make the hills like chaff. You shall winnow them, the wind shall carry them away, And the whirlwind shall scatter them; You shall rejoice in the Lord, And glory in the Holy One of Israel. “The poor and needy seek water, but there is none, Their tongues fail for thirst. I, the Lord, will hear them; I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them. I will open rivers in desolate heights, And fountains in the midst of the valleys; I will make the wilderness a pool of water, And the dry land springs of water. I will plant in the wilderness the cedar and the acacia tree, The myrtle and the oil tree; I will set in the desert the cypress tree and the pine And the box tree together, That they may see and know, And consider and understand together, That the hand of the Lord has done this, And the Holy One of Israel has created it.” Isaiah‬ ‭41‬:‭9‬-‭20‬