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justhere4thevibez · 1 year ago

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I KNOW with my whole heart you would do #2 "Wait a minute. Are you jealous?" so much justice for that writing prompt post, I almost don't even need to see it 😜

You know me too well!!! I had SUCH fun with this one! enjoy 💛

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“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

Chrissy turned away from him with a muttered of course not, but she wasn’t quite quick enough to hide the flash of pink on her cheeks or the way she worried at her lip.

“Baby.” Eddie caught her around the waist before she could shrink away from him anymore. “Sweetheart. Talk to me.”

“It’s fine,” she said, stiff in his arms. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters,” he said, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck that made her shiver. “Everything about you matters to me.”

“It’s just—” she kept her back to him, but her hand snaked up to tangle in his curls— “I’m such a dork.”

“You’re not a dork.”

“Compared with them?” She finally turned to face him as she gestured to the crowd in the bar, her face tight and worried. “Yeah, I am. I’m a stupid little Barbie doll surrounded by cool rocker girls. It makes me feel—” her lip trembled, and Eddie steeled himself against the urge to kiss her because he needed to hear her out first. “It makes me feel like I don’t belong with you.”

Shit.

He’d known that bringing her to this show in Chicago would be outside of her comfort zone, but he hadn’t realized just how much it would affect her. Maybe he should’ve warned her that she wouldn’t blend in, but he hadn’t wanted to make her feel like she had to change into someone else just to fit into his world. He liked the way she stood out, like a magical fairy who’d wandered into another realm. But she’d never been one to enjoy making a statement, and the way she was dressed had garnered her more than few curious—and critical—looks.

“Oh, honey.” He did kiss her then, sweet and slow and full of intent. “Of course you belong with me. Look at you, you fit right in my arms like you were made to be here.”

She picked at one of the worn patches on his vest, unable to keep her gaze locked on him. “But don’t you think one of them might fit better?”

“No.”

He lifted her chin so her eyes would meet his, but she still looked insecure and uncertain. Well, he’d just have to change that.

“I love your pink bows—” he tugged at her hair ribbon. “And your blue eyeshadow—” he pressed a tender kiss to her temple. “And your dainty jewelry—” he traced the hollow of her neck where her ’86 charm lay. “I love you, baby, and everything that comes with you.”

Every touch pulled some tension from her body, and by the end she leaned against him, loose and relaxed and totally, completely his. Just like she was meant to be.

He rocked her back and forth, their slow dance at total odds with the thrashing crowd around them, but Eddie didn’t care. This moment was for him and Chrissy alone.

“You know,” she whispered in his ear, and he could hear the smile in her voice. “If you like what I’m wearing so much, you’re going to love what I have on underneath.”

“Oh, yeah?” He slid his hand down to cup her ass. “Maybe you should give me a sneak preview in the bathroom real quick.”

She bit her lip to reign in her smile, all insecurity long gone. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours?”

“You’re on.”

Send me more prompts!

#hellcheer #eddie x chrissy #vibez answers #ficlet #jealousy

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0rph1x · 2 years ago

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ASTROLOGY ASK GAME YESSS TWO THINGS I LOVE COMBINED OKAY LETS DO IT sun - idk if this is physical or not but ill do both. uhhhhh. my eye color, the fact that on each of my shoulders i have freckles on the front and back that look like they go all the way thru bc they look like they line up on both sides, i like how determined i am, i like thatttt i can have fun without worrying abt being embarrassed most times, and i like how caring i am

moon - depends on the feeling tbh

mercury - eh it depends on who im around and what we're talking about

venus - my boyfriend <3

mars - i like when ppl do it for me, i rarely start talking to random ppl to make friends or whatever

jupiter - ive had certain lucky situations but idk i don't believe too hard in luck, i feel like ive fought and worked rlly hard to be where i am and idk how much of that falls on luck

saturn - dysphoria, my self image, and caring. way too much. i care w a y too much abt things

uranus - a lot. im from the US and i think literally almost everything should change bc its a mess

neptune - i try to think very rationally, i like going off of logic and facts bc then its cut and dry

pluto - i dont kow if ive ever had one tbh

ascendant - im not rlly sure, i do think u should know the person a bit before u date them but i believe that sometimes u just know when a person is for u

IC - i had good parts but i dont remember the majority of my childhood, so that's a good indicator sjdfhjskd

descendant - gay ppl, mentally ill ppl, and shitty ppl, all separately

MC - good question, i ammmm not very sure. idk what ppl think of me most times sdjfjlk

aries - depends, i do have times where i am impulsive and high energy and can't sleep and shit like that

taurus - garlic chicken that my mom makes. perfection.

gemini - yeah we have a good relationship, they do think of me a certain way bc i did have to take care of them growing up but they're getting old enough to be friends with me

cancer - im not sure, i dont think id make a good dad

leo - depends on who im with, most times i like to just go unnoticed and be on my own

virgo - y e a h im very perfectionistic, everything needs to go exactly the way i want it to

libra - yeah, i would love to be married in the future

scorpio - ehhh depends on what it is tbh

saggitarius - a bunch of different countries, i wanna go out and just explore the entire world

capricorn - ap literature teacher. i wanna teach high school kids how to be critical of the things that they read and consume before they graduate

aquarius - i can be both in different situations, i think its called being an ambivert but i go back and forth

pisces - i draw and i write and that's it

1H - hm. edgy grunge smoker who doesnt smoke trans guy. that's it.

2H - i rlly like my stuffed frog, but a random object that i like a lot is my rock that i found on the way to chicago

3H - marvel, space, uhhhh im not sure i just talk

4H - my mom. thats it. im closest with her.

5H - i write, i catch up on politics, i used to run and march with my band in the summer before i got hurt, but that's abt it

6H - i mean kinda, i just like getting everything done as soon as possible so i don't have to worry abt it

7H - trust, honesty, communication, being able to have fun with me, stuff like that

8H - not trusting me (i get there are some things u don't want to discuss and that's fine that's not what i mean), not talking to me when ur upset with me to like "punish" me, idk man there's a lot from past shit

9H - i wanna learn spanish, french, and some random obscure language no one knows about

10H - i have no idea, hopefully positively

11H - stupid, loyal, caring

12H - a lot. the dark, spiders, rlly big dogs, cornfields at night, empty roads at night, cheesy stuff. if we wanna get deep, im afraid of being forgotten, being ignored, ppl moving on from me bc i cant be good enough, not being able to ever be seen as who i am, stuff like that JGHSKJDHJ

OKAY IM DONE GJSDKGKSJDGK THERES THAT

Astrology ask game ☄️

sun ⇢ name 5 things you like about yourself?

moon ⇢ do you suppress your feelings?

mercury ⇢ are you a talkative person?

venus ⇢ describe your ideal type

mars ⇢ are you the type to approach others first or do you like others to do that instead?

jupiter ⇢ do you consider yourself a lucky or unlucky person?

saturn ⇢ what are the things you consider you struggle the most?

uranus ⇢ what things do you think should change in society?

neptune ⇢ are you a rational or intuitive person?

pluto ⇢ tell something supernatural that happened to you

ascendant ⇢ do you believe in love at first sight?

IC ⇢ do you think you had a good childhood?

descendant ⇢ what kind of people do you usually attract?

MC ⇢ what kind of reputation do you think you have?

aries ⇢ are you an impulsive person?

taurus ⇢ what's your favorite food?

gemini ⇢ do you have a good relationship with your siblings? if you're an only child, would you like to have siblings? how many?

cancer ⇢ do you want to start a family in the future? how many children would you like to have?

leo ⇢ do you like being the center of attention or do you prefer to go unnoticed?

virgo ⇢ do you consider yourself a perfectionist?

libra ⇢ would you like to get married in the future?

scorpio ⇢ do you feel comfortable talking about taboo things?

sagittarius ⇢ what places would you like to travel in the future?

capricorn ⇢ what's your ideal job?

aquarius ⇢ do you consider yourself an antisocial or social person?

pisces ⇢ what kind of art are you good at? (painting, dancing, singing, etc.)

1H ⇢ describe your style

2H ⇢ do you have any object that you like a little too much? what is it and why?

3H ⇢ what are some of the topics you like to talk about the most?

4H ⇢ which relatives are you the closest with?

5H ⇢ do you have a hobby? which one(s)?

6H ⇢ do you consider yourself a workaholic?

7H ⇢ what do you consider green flags in a relationship?

8H ⇢ what do you consider red flags in a relationship?

9H ⇢ what languages would you like to learn?

10H ⇢ how do you want people to remember you?

11H ⇢ describe your friends in 3 words

12H ⇢ which is/are your biggest fear(s)?

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the-firebird69 · 6 months ago

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Disturbed - The Vengeful One (Live at HOB Chicago 2015)

youtube

Yeah this is me I was at the concert and I feel them and I was thinking he was a suspect and I was questioned my father occasionally so I had to grab my father and question him out of his mouth gave the dirty little lie and you kept saying it he kept saying it's really supposed to be the boy or sometimes s*** so why would he be out there it was a pistol and he says it wouldn't it would be JC and he's about that size and it works a little to cover it up why what is your deal I was trying to say there's no way I am I said you shot me you had me do the routine and now I'm going to kill you and I tried to hit him and his people came in and he escaped it's been going on like that. Hell yeah I guess I don't try that hard and he's the night in the museum and I try to hit him because he's making fun of me and the thing gets pulled off by the creature and it's quite horrible and we see the creature is Garth and he is mutated into that thing. But it is more like someone who hates the hyena and that would probably be Harley Quinn and she ends up despising it it's threatening her to bring people to it. So she goes out and kills a whole bunch and probably eat them in buds and mutates because she's possessed and somebody captures her and that's Tommy and they're trying to make offspring but the thing goes nuts and kills everybody but then again it makes more sense if she's having Garth's people eating and she has to think about him just like him and they both hate him. And him mutating with you something it would be something that he takes in an insect head was put on a hyena and we looked and it looks like that and you have to mutate it like hell and people are starting to see that the hyena maybe a cross page with a tiger or something cheetah and it's got some clothes on it so it's going on soon and yeah how you know are insane hyena are insane but this sounds more like what happens it's not really it's not really what I'm all about but my father keeps bothering me and he shot me critically and he's asking for it and it's going to happen to him and tropic thunder tropic thunder and we think that's after edge of Tomorrow and he learns a lesson and he's coming up pretty quick and while this is all going on our friend here says people are using it to take the stashes and Cassius and boy that makes more sense and yeah I do comedy routines now but not really for bar mitzvahs and weddings no. Leave it yours cuz you're wealthy and yeah I guess you would know people with more and you can try and get them to do it that's a good thing to look forward to.

Ben stiller

Olympus

Right now we're going to go after with these idiots the two and and their rambunctious to see someone that could happen and don't like it and stuff like that. But right now pja and others are breaching stachios and cashes. And they're actually inside and several areas overseas is a couple in the western hemisphere is three all of them are very big and they're going to flow in momentarily and begin to disarm and go over a whole bunch of it and pull it out it's going to be huge it's a war that's started between the two and it's going on today while he's in court and it is very big

Thor Freya

Olympus

#Youtube

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dojae-huh · 7 months ago

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dy and jhn patching things up to a certain extent aside, do you think this is dy's way of making up to jhn for not telling him about his musical and not wanting him to go watch it at first to not get made fun of? i think jhn might have feel offended about that before if he likes getting spoiled (recently a member said ty, hc and jhn get spoiled the most among ilichil) and wants to be trusted.

apologies if i offended jhndy shippers or fans here 🙏 not that i don't believe they're good friends or criticizing jhn but i feel like jhn is a cheerful and supportive person who needs attention and getting spoiled too

I haven't watched the documentaries for Youth yet, so I don't know how much Johnny was involved. I saw this part from the radio show though.

I agree with you. Johnny is the only child of doting and well-off parents. He grew up spoiled, he likes attention, and demands it from those he picks without shame. He pushes.

JohnDo have a bond, and Do has a hard time trying to be the friend he was before the rift. I see him doing what he is supposed to do as "a good friend and good person" (I should forgive, he is a good person, he likes me so much), but his body language tells me he continues to keep his guard up. It is like he can't trust Johnny wholly anymore, can't lower the barrier he put up after he was hurt. Doyoung used to be the one to glue to Johnny, to give him hugs, spank his ass, ask to film an MV for his cover, invite to come to his home in Guri for holidays, eat his homecooking, want to visit JN's house in Chicago. Despite all the heavy teasing, he showed Johnny a lot of warmth and patience. I mean, his hearfelt letter, his care and empathy made Johnny feel like he was needed and wanted in SM to begin with, made him decide to stay.

Will Doyoung comeback to how he was with Johnny before? Maybe. He certainly is making an attempt after Johnny gutted him with his "to us" message. If a person says he wants you in his life forever, how you can refuse? When so much ties you (the past, the friendship, the unit)?

As for JohnDo vs JaeDo. Look at Jaehyun when Johnny is around. Jaehyun isn't even fighting for Do's attention anymore, he just takes it confidently. We, as fans, are told and shown what idols want us to see. So pay little mind to what is on the stage, what is presented openly, and look behind the scenes. Even TaeDo, as celebrated as it is, as raw as we see it, has sides to it that are hidden from us, that we can only see glimpses of (in Tae's complains or expected things not happening).

As an example. Fans were looking forward to Doyoung sending a food truck to Tae's MV location. He didn't do it for Shalala (Tap was shot in Japan, so no opportunity there). And some can see it as him not caring for his friend enough. On the other hand, Do, despite being super busy, took a bus to send off Taeyong personally, even after the group members gathered to give Tae a send-off party. It's the key actions and moments that show a relationship how it is.

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thealleydog · 2 years ago

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Yooooo, new mayor for the city! I hope he can help bring about the greatness that I believe this city could reach. When I went to New York, all I could think was how much Chicago deserves the same as they have.

And the gun violence? Yes, there is. WE FUCKING GET IT. I love playing "Fireworks or Gunshots?" as much as the next asshole during the summer. All the motherfuckers who love to hee hee and ha ha about it will never know the feeling of waking up hearing someone get shot at in the alley below you before peeling off. And the being so desensitized to it you say, "Not my problem." and go back to sleep. And I have friends who live in the REALLY fucked up areas - and the stories they tell? It makes me feel most people in the world are weak and a bunch of bitch asses that won't know what to do when confronted by someone who really don't fucking care.

I've been lucky to never deal with it, but it's always a matter of when, not if.

But the way the world makes fun, it's just to the point that feels like spitting in the face of the people who died, because it's only brought up as a nasty criticism. I'll never get over watching my friend and mentor tattooing a man's daughter's portrait on his forearm. She died from a stray bullet that went through her bedroom window. She was a little girl, not even a pretween. He's a humble man who works the immigrant jobs people look down on. These people deserve better. I'm sick of seeing dead people get engraved on their families bodies.

I'm sick of people talk shit about Chicago because I see the beauty of this city and the beauty the people here have. Chicago is the birthplace of SO many great things. I can't explain, but just check out @6figga_dilla on tiktok to see just how much Chicago has affected the country and even the world.

I look forward to the future.

#i love this city so much #we have to care about all it people #from the north to the southside #from the west to the lake #chicago

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angelsaxis · 3 years ago

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Idk if its just me but I feel that the backlash against OFMD was not enough. Like everyone here is so LOUD about LGBTQ issues and other issues plaguing people but they legitimately dont boost voices or concerns when it xomes to black people. Specifically.

Im brown and I dont live in the US, but Ive heard and read enough to know that white people and many poc too, just dont give racism the attention it deserves.

And I wanted to ask if you think Im right in feeling angry or am i over reacting because I just dont feel okay with how easily the shows creators' reasoning was just accepted by the majority of blogs on here, where he explained how they were rewriting stories and changing the narratives or whatever. There were many ways to go about making shows and choosing two slavers to do it was absolutely the worst possible take.

No you're 100% right anon, what nonBlack PoC and white gays like to do is pretend that anything that gets Black people upset is "worth it". They're fine if their über queer gay rep is in the form of rehabilitated white supremacists because they have no empathy for Black people and no understanding of just how bad slavery was. Kidnapped Africans were raped, abused, killed for fun, and even eaten by white people because white supremacy was (and is) just that violent and destructive. Environments were permanently changed, genetic maps were permanently changed, there's millions of descendants of indigenous Africans in diaspora now across North America, the Caribbean, and South America (as well as other places) because of slavery. Stede Bonnet and Blackbeard contributed to that.

But if there's one thing white queer people and nonBlack PoC (whether queer or not) have shown themselves to be, it's incredibly callous, self centered, and dismissive of what Black people say about antiBlackness. NonBlack gays would have dumped this show in a heartbeat if there was any homophobia, transphobia, or acephobia. If Stede Bonnet or Blackbeard were notoriously homophobic and turned into an uwu tenderqueer couple, they'd be up in arms and trying to get the show cancelled. When Black people say to stop making white supremacists relatable, we get patronizing and irrelevant remarks about how All Pirates Are Evil, as if theft and human trafficking are the same thing. We get false platitudes about how they're ~thinking critically~, as if they don't end up just watching and talking about and supporting the show anyways.

You know, the Chicago tribune published a review for OFMD and the racism it's predicted on, and there were nonBlack gays who's heads were so far up fandoms ass that they easily convinced themselves that this review didn't come to exist because of a genuine desire by the author to talk about the racism inherent in this show, but because it was Big Cishet Media lashing out against one of the only positive representations of healthy gays. No matter what, nonBlack gay people will make themselves the victim before even remotely respecting Black people's perspectives. I can't even begin to tell you how many of these people claim to support Black Lives Matter while also gaslighting the shit out of Black people, making us seem like we're uneducated idiots for expecting a comedy to teach us about pirates, making us seem like we're being unfair and even homophobic for wanting this show to not be a racist pile of trash, and pretending like Taika Waititi doesn't already have a history of antiBlackness going back years now that keeps popping up in his projects.

These people are 100% okay with their happy healthy gay media being about white supremacists. I have zero sympathy or patience for people who gush about that show.

#ask #sorry this is so long lmao

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heretherebedork · 3 years ago

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I like your perspective on Mame, and the EL James comparison is a pretty good one actually. Granted like you I haven’t seen tharntype (just knowing what the start of the plot entails I don’t think I could handle it), but I have watched her other shows, and I’m currently watching dsn. She’s a guilty pleasure, and while we have to keep perspective and acknowledge the aspects of her work that are problematic, I think it is ok to indulge. I ended up on a side of tiktok where people were saying it’s unacceptable to watch any of the shows. But imo while if it’s triggering for you absolutely don’t watch her shows (and there’s a lot you could be triggered by in her stories), I don’t think everybody who watches the shows should be condemned. But maybe I’m just defensive because I’m a trash panda who has a mega soft spot for tincan because I can never resist a good enemies to lovers, and bad guy who actually has a soft spot for one person. The tropes that I love are all there on one package!!! What am I supposed to do??? And like I have to admit she writes some really interesting relationship dynamics, she just always ends up fucking it up with all the things you listed. Idk if it’s bad of me or not but mostly I try to close my eyes and ignore, fast forward through some of the real bad stuff if I can when watching. Idk absolutely we should all be calling out the problematic nature of the work, but like let’s not say all people who watch are bad. It’s a bit more complicated then that I think?

I have no issue with guilty pleasures or with watching things that aren't perfect and have issues as long as as you acknowledge them.

I really have reached the point that I maybe should just give in and try Tharntype on that basis but it doesn't particularly appeal to me.

But also, look, there's a reason MAME is popular and has so many shows based on her characters and stories and more constantly getting picked up. She's obviously writing what people like.

And that's her characters. Frankly, MAME writes a damn good character. She writes fantastic dynamics.

But her plots and her character development fall apart at step one and that's... that's just the truth.

I adore AePete. They are absolutely one of my favorite pairings of all time. TinCan? Yes. Yes please. I've actually rewatching LBC2 (just their parts) multiple times because I enjoy their dynamic so much. Pfft, TulHin! I adore them and how fucked up they are. LeoFiat? I mean, holy shit, I love their entire dynamic and their characters.

But every time the plot lets them down and there's never any actual character growth and you just kind of have to... make it up if you want to try to see it. Tin gets the most character growth and even that is... barely there, frankly, and mostly in regards to his brother more than anyone else.

MAME also likes to write families that are very obviously heavily reliant on traditional Thai values of where the importance and blame lies in a family. Which I don't entirely understand because, well, I'm a Jewish dude from Chicago raised with a completely different set of values.

There's nothing wrong with guilty pleasures. There's nothing wrong with enjoying imperfect things. I mean, hell, I love H1: Obsessed and that is SO fucked up but it doesn't matter in the slightest to me. I adore the whole thing so much.

Like what you like, love what you love. Acknowledge the problems and the problematic parts. Talk about them. That's how people grow, from learning from what they do and watch and see. That's how other people grow, from reading and talking and discussing. Nothing happens if we pretend it doesn't exist and try to only like things that are perfect.

You wanna talk about perfect relationships? Tossara is a perfect and absolutely healthy relationship. I love that show to death but boy howdy does nothing happen.

So... yeah.

Enjoy your pleasures. Have fun. Be critical but being critical doesn't mean don't enjoy it. I promise, between myself and @absolutebl, there's plenty of levels of critical and enjoyment that you can reach.

#bl drama #bl series #bl meta #extremely meta #just because something ticks all the right boxes doesn't mean it's good #and just because it ticks wrong boxes doesn't mean it's bad #asianlgbtqdramas #thai bl #thaibl #asian lgbtq dramas #thai drama #boys love #i have thoughts on this #that don't feel coherent #i hope they are #enjoy things people #just enjoy things

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thebreakfastgenie · 3 years ago

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Sidney? :)

I fully have two more after this so I think I'm just gonna keep sharing headcanons and like doing jokes for the rest

favorite thing about them

As a companion to the last one I did, his professionalism! Sidney knows how to have fun and he can be a little rebellious but he's always very responsible. It's pretty clear he doesn't support the war any more than Hawkeye does, he doesn't want to be there, and he seems pretty critical of the Army. But he behaves professionally. It's fun because it proves it's possible to agree with Hawkeye without... being like Hawkeye. It makes Sidney a great foil. Maybe you can argue he compromises his values, I don't know, but not really any more than Hawkeye does. I think he just has a very realistic view of the situation and accepts it. He knows how to live with it, not that that stops it from getting to him sometimes.

least favorite thing about them

Thinks Hawkeye will be "great" at doing therapy for a patient.

favorite line

"You're a victim, too, Flagg, but you're such an unbelievable example of walking fertilizer that it's hard for me to care." Both funny and such an excellent and true point.

brOTP

Honestly his dynamic with Margaret in Dear Sigmund is so funny. Also taking this opportunity to say that scene is about five times funnier because the athletic supporter is completely unseen. Sorry Mr. Alda but censorship wins this round.

OTP

Sidney/a decent meal

nOTP

Absolutely no one ships this but Sidney/Margaret would suck

random headcanon

I think it's basically canon that Sidney is a little ahead of his time as far as psychiatry goes, and I like that. But I think as a result he doesn't get along that well with his colleagues in the Army. (I think in civilian life he has likeminded psychiatrists he talks to.) He's cordial and professional, but not really friendly them, which is why he chooses to hang out with a bunch of surgeons whose values are more like his own.

unpopular opinion

Technically this is an opinion about Sidney and idk if it's unpopular but Sidney wore a mustache so much better than BJ.

song i associate with them

I don't actually associate this with Sidney but Saturday in the Park by Chicago is a GFA song and Sidney is in GFA, so. Also please watch @genderqueer-klinger's amazing AMV!

favorite picture of them

He looks good when he's pouring a drink in Deal Me Out.

#mashposting

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someonexsomeone · 5 years ago

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To My Best Friend

Title: To My Best Friend

Author: SomeonexSomeone

Word Count: 1609

AU: BestFriend!Johnny

Summary: It’s soft BestFriend!Johnny hours, where you both have to learn that separation is a part of growing up.

Authors Note: Wow! Another story without pairing. This was sparked from my roommate and I realizing one day we will have to live away from each other, which is absolutely heartbreaking. Tweaked a little to fit Johnny, but the feelings are still there. As always, comments and criticism are welcome!

When they first left each other after high school, they made a mutual promise to facetime once a week. Usually, this involved watching movies or tv together, but sometimes it would just be quiet - only scratching pens or the keys clicking away to fill the void of conversation. It was just as good as being in the same room, right? But Johnny’s dream took him to Korea, working alongside other students as they all worked towards debuting into the music world.

That day...it was impossible not to think about it fondly. The day that Johnny left for Korea was monumental for two reasons. One, Johnny Suh was accepted into his dream company and had a high likelihood of debuting with major success. And two, Johnny Suh was a sneaky genius.

"There's a flight that leaves in two hours to New York City," Johnny offhandedly mentioned as the two of you stood in front of the departures. Johnny was finally heading off to Korea of officially start major training, and as his best friend, you would be accompanying him up until the absolute last minute. How could you not? Your best friend in the whole world was leaving for a completely different country for who knows how long. There was no way you weren’t going to at least party it up a little with him before he was gone forever (and by ‘party it up’ it meant sightseeing and trying not to cry about his leaving). So here you now stood, feet planted firmly in front of the ‘Departing’ board, trying with minimal luck to find your gate. You hummed at his statement, but made no further comment, still searching the board. "You should take it." That made you look up at him instantly.

"What?”

"I said, you should take it. The plane. To New York City." Johnny's voice was still unreadable. You scrunched your nose at his tone.

"Why on earth would I get on a plane to New York?"

"Because it's the best location for you to go." You finally turned your body fully to your best friend, but Johnny continued to stare straight forward.

"Johnny, we're supposed to be dropping you off at SM, not taking a surprise detour to New York." Johnny signed heavily, his hands coming up to rest gently on your shoulders.

"You're my best friend in the whole world, and I hope you know I love you more than anything. But your ass is getting on that plane." You opened your mouth in protest, but all it took was a shake of Johnny's head to get you to shut up. "The lease on your parent's apartment is up at the end of this month, which, may I remind you, is in 8 days. I know they would love for you to continue to stay there, but I know you hate how closely they watch you. And I know you haven't been able to find another place - don't say anything, I'm still talking - despite your lame attempts to hide it. New York has everything you'd need, which includes tons of opportunities just waiting for you. You need to take that chance and go for it. You'll regret it your whole life if you don't."

Would you regret it?

Yes, it was true that you hadn't been able to find another place to live, but nothing you had looked at felt right. It just felt wrong to stay in Chicago without Johnny. And yeah, you were slacking on school. It had been months since college started but you had put off applying for so long, too wrapped up in lame excuses - I'm tired, I have work, I can't do it right now. And after your horrible manager fired you for a mistake you were wrongfully blamed for, you hadn’t been doing much. Maybe jumping straight in would be the best option. You would have no excuse to slack off...

"But how would I even live there? I don't have enough money to live in New York," you finally said. Johnny gave you a sly smile.

"I heard there's a lady who owns a building in Queens who is renting to poor college students. Apparently, she has a real soft spot for struggling kids. Something about being a good person or whatever.” Johnny reached up and ruffled your hair playfully. “And, you know, since I already did all this research you should also know that your plane ticket can be exchanged for another flight.” Softly, he added, “If you wanted to, that is."

"Johnny, this is crazy!” You couldn’t help it. Your voice came out shrill, but the surprise was too much to keep your voice calm. It echoed off the walls of the large room, so in a quieter voice, you continued, “You want me to completely drop my life just like that? What about the rest of my stuff?"

"Come on, the flight is in two hours. Plenty of time to get back to the apartment and pack. I know for a fact that all of the stuff you really care about can fit into a suitcase."

You were spellbound. Your friend - your beautiful, kind-hearted, absolutely bat-shit crazy best friend - had gone out of his way in the most stressful time in his life to make sure that his best friend was going to be okay. The tears couldn't be stopped as they started to roll down your cheeks - huge, wet globs that turned black from your cheap mascara and formed a Y shape around your quivering lips. You couldn't help it. You threw your arms around Johnny, sobbing loudly in the middle of the airport for all to see. Onlookers starred as Johnny smiled and patted you gently on the back, stroking your hair.

You did end up taking that plane to New York. You had to practically beg to live in the house Johnny recommended, and spent your first day in New York sending out as many resumes as you could. Full-time, part-time, internships - whatever you could find, you sent. Worked as a waitress at a horrible nightclub near the apartment for a month. Lived like you were in college, with no solid furniture or regular eating habits. Even lived without heat for a while just to keep the WIFI running. But, you were happy.

Across the world, Johnny was thriving in his new location. You called as much as you could, which was a lot more than Johnny was available. Still, just the happy melody of his tone was enough to keep you relatively worry-free. Johnny told you stories of the amazing people he’d met already, a boy named Sehun was particularly fun to be around, apparently, and he made you laugh with all the crazy things he somehow managed to get up to.

Months continued on and you got an internship position at a company for something you were really interested in. Unpaid, for the first six months, but better than nothing. You still worked as a waitress, thankfully at a nice restaurant that didn’t have men leering at you the whole time, waiting to apply for a full-time position. But, even better, the college in New York accepted your application, a hefty scholarship taking a weight off your shoulders and the answer much too easy. You remember the smile on Johnny’s face, megawatt despite the dark circles under his eyes, and congratulated you a thousand times over. A few weeks later, a package full of Korean treats arrived in the mail, a beautiful handwritten card with almost completely illegible handwriting attached along with it that only read ‘love you bitch’. You still had it to this day, hung up on the wall among your other photos.

And when you finally earned enough money, Johnny flew all the way from Korea during his break to help you apartment hunt. It was, of course, exactly like the movies portrayed with blue skies, mile-high skyscrapers, and bustling streets - except every apartment was dingy and small and could barely contain a person, let alone a bed. But you still laughed along with the realtors, both desperate and otherwise (because let’s be honest - most people would live in a roach-infested apartment just to stay in New York), ate cheap hot dogs in between showings, and even managed to drive down to Chicago so Johnny could see his family (which was practically your family too).

And, for the first time since high school, you and Johnny were able to eat together, hug each other, and hang out day and night in person, not keeping your relationship of fast facetime calls with blurry images and indistinguishable audio. You realized just how much you missed Johnny Suh, just how much your life revolved around your best friend, and how much of a comfort Johnny was for you. When no one else was there, Johnny always was, ready to hold your hand our of the darkness.

In that quiet, black night, you rolled over and hugged Johnny close, just one more time. In the morning, Johnny Suh and you would once again be across the world from one another. In the morning, Johnny Suh would be boarding his plane back to Korea and you would be signing a form to stay permanently in New York, and your lives will once again be separated. But, that’s all for the morning. For now, you will hold Johnny close, listening to his deep breath as he finally gets a good night's sleep, feel as his soft hair glides through his fingers, smile as he wraps his arms just as tightly around you, and treasure the moments you still have left.

Masterlist

#johnny suh imagine #johnny suh #johnny suh au #nct imagine #nct u imagine #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenario #nct 127 imagine #kpop imagine #kpop scenario #nct best friend au #kpop best friend imagine

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artswritings · 3 years ago

Text

Red 5: A nonfiction

Visual Culture: A Reader Various authors; edited by Jessica Evans and Stuart Hall

This is a journey I'm embarking on -- a 469 page collection of often-heady essays and excerpts from art historians, philosophers and other social scientists on various aspects of visual culture. 33 essays, seemingly about 10 pages each. I found with Judy Chicago that 10 pages a day, even if dense, was doable if I'm in the habit. So I expect this book to take me a little over a month, a long endeavor!

How did I come to own this book?

I bought it for an art history class in college. I'm old enough now that I don't remember the provocative title of the course off the top of my head, or even the name of the professor -- I remember he was bald, I took 1-2 classes with him, and I T.A.'d a class for him. He asked me to be a T.A. specifically because he thought my ideas and engagement were good, but I lacked confidence; he hoped helping others would help me find it.

In the class I took that I bought this book for, I met Ellen, the T.A. for that class. She ended up being a dear friend from afar for awhile, entwined as we were in the queer communities at Hampshire. When I moved to San Francisco she ended up being an endless blessing, introducing me to the lady who got me my first office job, and letting me take over her spot in The Ranch -- so much of my history flows out from there, eh?

About the book

I think I've only ever read 2-4 of the essays in this book -- that's the sham of college texts after all. I bought this whole book and was only assigned a few readings. But I know they're both seminal and dense. Seminal: Laura Mulvey's essay on the Male Gaze, Foucault's Panopticon, Benjamin's "The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction" -- I mean these are essays that formed the bedrock of visual studies, at least up until back when I was in the game. Dense, though, because many of the authors are either postmodern philosophers (Foucault, Lacan!) or contemporary-ish art historians, both groups who use a language that is almost impenetrable, partially for style reasons I suppose, and partially because they are working at the edge of knowledge, thus grasping for ways to understand and communicate brand new ideas -- sometimes you need the weightiness or obscurity of a particular word to communicate the gravity and newness of an idea I think.

Any other thoughts before starting?

I'm looking forward to this one. I think it's going to bring me back to the memory and feeling of being a student, I think it's going to give me an aura through which to view media in a critical way that will be fun to live with for a while, I think it's going to expand my vocabulary.

I'm also dreading it a bit, because I'm afraid of being bored, not following through with it to the end, spending too long reading it, dreading it? I guess if any of those things happen though -- I'm allowed to pick up other books in the middle if I need a break, I'm allowed to skip / skim sections if I need to, and if it really doesn't feel worth my time, I'm allowed to give up and get rid of the book altogether.

Reading the intro

Hah! Already so dense. Sentences like "However, the scrupulously pure project of the strucuralist moment of semiotics, which conceives of language as a system of signs immanent to a single or bounded group of texts and studied independently of history or the particular utterances of human subjects, needs to be both augmented and qualified." Geez!

The main crux of the intro, I think, is to explain that the point of this book is to give a necessarily multi-faceted introduction to the study of visual culture: first by laying the groundwork with some semiotic texts which they admit visual culture studies owes much. Then by exploring the technical limitations of image-making, specifically with photography, and how those technical limitations form, regulate, and have a language of their own within the creation of images and how we experience them. The there's a section on the role of subjectivity and identity -- the identity of the viewer, of the artist, of the subject, generally speaking examinations of all the relationships that go into an image.

Seems a worthwhile project! Another worthwhile project? Expanding my vocabulary by looking up words from the text I either don't know or kind of know but couldn't explain to you. A selection from the first 7 pages of this book:

* semiotic - of or relating to signs / the study of signs and symbols as elements of communicative behavior

* fallacious - logically unsound / deceptive / disappointing / misleading

* vicissitudes - successive, alternating, or changing phases or conditions, ups and downs / regular change of one state to another

* discursive - proceeding by reasoning or argument rather than intuition / also: digressive or rambling

Thoughts after reading Part A:

* It seems to me that a lot of these 10-page essays (that are excerpts of longer ones / books), could be a series of tweets. It's like, I get it. You made your point. Why are you repeating that point over again in each paragraph, in progressively aggro tones? It's been a while since I read / wrote essays -- are they all like this?

* It feels great to read academic / philsophical thought again, though. Even though I didn't feel particularly challenged or intrigued by any of the first 4 readings (introductory-ish texts to the whole book; treatises on "what is an image", basically), I did find my brain reaching for larger words, more thoughtful and critical words over the last few days since I started reading. I remember and re-understand my younger, college-age self through this. The pleasure I would get from reading and writing like this. I get it, I think. It's like solving puzzles, communicating your ponderings, looking for new understandings. I'm into it.

Thoughts after reading Part B:

* This part was trippy to read for a few reasons:

the first essay, Foucault's Panopticism talks about the system imposed upon plague-ridden society in the 17th century to contain said plague. How strange to read the rules now -- no leaving the house upon pain of death. No fraternizing with people outside your household if either of you have had the plague upon pain of death, etc. I felt my world zooming in and out reading that bit and didn't really care that Foucault was using it as an example of the authoritarian's dream pre-design of the panopticon.

Anyway the readings in this section were all very enjoyable / informative -- Foucault has a lot of prescient things to say about the power of being observed and the lack of power in not being able to see. Surveillance society and its most dystopian and punitive sounds awfully familiar. Walter Benjamin talking about the 'aura' of a piece of art, the somethingness of a thing and how the print is a mere shadow of that thing in many ways. He talked about how trees and have auras, and it made me wonder if they do and if they did and if I've just lived in a screen world too long to be able to see auras anymore.

Susan Sontag talks about living in an image world and how we don't fully realize the power of the image. She talks about photographs' "trace, something directly stenciled off the real...a material vestige of its subject" -- in essence this is a counterpoint to Benjamin, since she argues that the photographs do indeed contain an essence or fragment or even aura ("some trace of the magic remains: for example in our reluctance to tear up or throw away the photograph of a loved one"). I think what's especially interesting, though, is her observation that "reality has come to seem more and more like what we are shown by cameras. It is common now for people to insist about their experience of a violent event...that it 'seemed like a movie'" Our relationship to the real, to our selves, and to our experiences has been forever changed by photography and it was a pleasure to pause and wonder on that for a while.

Dick Hebdige then talks about a pop magazine of the 1980's called The Face, and what makes it a good magazine. I found many of the characteristics called out about the magazine hauntingly familiar -- it only allowed ads that played well with its own ironic/rebellious/humorous format, it juxtaposed serious news articles with silly gossip pieces with celebrity interviews (reminds me so much of the power of places like Buzzfeed, Vice, Vox!!), and in general it had a youthful, iconoclast, devil-may-care attitiude --daring to look at image and photography and art in their cultural pop context rather than debate the ethics, nicetities, formalities, etc. of them.

The Face seems like it was a cool magazine that had a ton of influence on how we position information and pleasure today. I really liked the essay, especially the author's self-consciousness about his position: he's studying this magazine as an exemplar of the sensibilities of the generation that comes after his own, and he compares it to a magazine that exemplifies his generation's values and style. But he doesn't do it in a derisive way, in fact while I sense a few polite jabs at the frivolousness of youth, I also sense an awe, a wonder, and a fascination that seems pure-hearted. I will want to read this essay again some day.

On to the next section! But checking in on the book overall:

- I like reading it, it makes me use a part of brain that is more engaged / engaging than usual

- I like thinking about these points in the context of when they were made; this book was published in 1999 and so far the essays inside range from the 1930s-1980s. Many of the issues these essays brought out as new or challenging ideas have been come to pass. So they seem obvious to me. But I like thinking about them as new, radical thought and what society must have been like before we thought the way we do now. If the goal of this collection is to cement the legitimacy, history, and practice of Visual Culture, I feel like that has been accomplished in the years since.

- I will keep this book on my shelves after reading it, even though it was one I thought might be a candidate for donation. I think I could come back to some of these essays (so far, the Foucault, the Hebridge, and Barthes), and even though the thoughts feel stale and dated, and I don't really care about photography studies very much, I'm happy to have this on the shelf -- if a bookshelf is a biography of its own, this book has a place on mine for what it says about me that I've read it and that I may come back to it in the future.

Quick thoughts on the rest of the book / conclusion:

Okay so I kind of sped-read through the second half of this book. A few thoughts per section:

C: Turns out I'm actually not interested in reading about the history / theory of photography as an institution or genre. These essays did not engage me, maybe they were too technical or not grounded enough in the social. I think I skipped Rosalind Krauss's altogether.

D: Similar to Section C, but I did enjoy this section a bit more as this was more on the institution side of things; museums, libraries, how nonprofit materials assume and push narratives of their constituents onto them and the public.

E: Fuck Freud. I hate reading Freud. I understand how seminal his work is to psychoanalysis, gender and race theory. But his work itself reads as so...primitive. Other readings later in the book position him in his male, white, colonialist self. But this whole section was him and theorists working directly off of his work. I skimmed/skipped a lot of it because it was so cringey.

F & G: My favorite sections. These pieces all worked from the texts before to theorize gender and race in visual culture. Honestly I'm not sure I have anything intelligent to say about this. I enjoyed these texts, it made me add more bell hooks to my TBR list, and I thoroughly enjoyed and learned a lot from this section.

Overall

I liked and would re-read and/or reference at least 50% of them. The collection isn't perfect: the editors' intro texts between sections are inscrutable and weren't all that helpful in understanding the texts or curation. Some texts seemed they didn't belong at all; some did, but felt like they were in the wrong order. The focus on photography, specifically, as a technique and genre was, in my opinion, boring and a bit of a non sequitur to the rest of it. And of course there's the issue of relevance -- many of these texts are seminal, but the collection is over 20 years old. Surely there are more recent texts that include further thought past the 90s and don't include the texts in this one that felt outdated. So it's hard to recommend, but also worth holding onto instead of donating.

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