#makes me feel something everytime
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2024 Brazilian GP | x
#franco colapinto#autumn posts#I'm so conflicted about all the rumors!!#I want him to have a spot for 2025!! but rbr is kinda falling apart!! and we've seen how especially callous they can be 😢#I miss Daniel so much 🥺 I've been on my usual insta dives and everytime I see vcarb I still pause out of habit#still I agree with so many folks that its good he got away from rbr who never were going to give him the respect and opportunities!!#so I worry for Franco!!!#and poor Max gosh this FiA balogna and the car just not performing 🥲#tbh I've been hiding in like 2017 posts just soaking up content I missed from bygone days!#I spam my sideblog verstappen100 if anyone wants like mostly Daniel throwback yearning hehe 🙂↕️#idk the vibes feel off this GP especially so like...idk how to explain it!!#but anyways I think I'm just new and I'm sick irl so just kinda stewing in the feels#nothing some gifs can't fix 🙂↕️#and I have to work tomorrow 🥲 but then!!! freedom!!!#anyways just rambling...#I like to hide in the tags and the side blog but I know that#hiding how I feel is blocking me from making true connections in fandom!!#I worry I'll say something silly or something#but maybe I should be more brave instead of hiding#oh anyways!!!#if you're reading all this!! thank you! hehe nothing huge just feeling dumping before slumber 😴#I hope all is well!!#sending good energy out to Franco on such a hard weekend#and to Daniel hopefully chilling and dreaming up something excellent 💞#and to y'all!! have a good night morning and afternoon!! 🌙☀️☁️#going to add a few more photos before I go!!
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favourite thing: his new habit of saying uhuh/mhm and also this
#the first time he did it in unmortricken i was like Fuck Yes and little did i know he would just keep doing it the whole time#DESPERATELY hoping they keep both of these things. i Love when characters have tiny little habits sprinkled in their actions#to me these things kinda sorta symbolise him no longer being afraid to really be himself#like he no longer has to hide certain things about himself that inside of the cfc wouldve made him appear ‘suspicious’#since he IS like so much different than any other morty ever#also barely related but like. em is fundamentally such a good character bc everytime we see him he’s feeling something different#in his first appearance he was cold and distant because at the time he was new to being free and was strictly focused on his goal and wasn’#even sure if it would work#in his second appearance he seemed hopeful and honest both of these things just being a trap to get the people of the citadel to trust him#and his old colder self unfurling near the end after he successfully becomes president#in his third appearance he seems giddy almost. he’s constantly giggling before and after sentences and he’s super eager to just Get The Hel#Out. and also to reveal the truth to morty prime. make it so that he doesn’t have to be the one to shoulder everything anymore.#and this fourth appearance. apart from a few little details he really just seems happy and comfortable. the entire episode he was just doin#whatever he wanted and nobody got in his way at all. and i could not be happier#normal about this character!#rick and morty#evil morty#rick and morty spoilers#odiespeak
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fandom is so funny because how did a girl dming me to ask if she could print out my art for her room back in 2019 turn into her giving me a heated blanket to sleep with at her apartment in 2024 because she knows me well enough to know id want one in the night
#and the art is still on her corkboard btw#everytime i come over and see it im like please take it down and put something newer up and she refuses#anyway i always feel blessed when i see this friend#because the way we first met was so by chance and yet she's become a person that means so much to me over the years#it's the fact we werent even mutuals she wasnt even making content for ml she just had a random personal account on twt#life is so interesting in how it brings people to you#♡alizeh talks♡
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mmm but. i miss pansyfemme as a url already. but im lowkey really tired of people sending me asks questioning terminology i have explained dozens of times in the past so ive been. stepping away a bit from the term femme- not because i dont identify with it anymore. just that this blog’s gotten a bit of attention lately, and while a lot of the circles ive always run in tend to know the history of the term femme is not one exclusive to one gender or identity, people seeing my posts on my dash send me a lot of asks about it in heavily varying levels of politeness. and while i have explained it with sources and everything in the past,, i kind of. hate doing that all the time and despite having a faq people still. dont read it. so i kinda. uh. more so just. dont feel like justifying myself ten times a day and i also. dont like ignoring the asks so.. it will be definitly a term i will still use but kind of dont want in my username anymore. does that make any sense.
#it kinda feels like every post i make where i mentioned i transitioned as a kid where people send asks like ‘you should really address that#isnt the norm’ and its like. i have quite literally adressed that hundreds of times. i just dont feel like everytime i use the term femme i#need to follow it with a thesis on why its okay for me to use it. there is historical basis there is signifigance all that. but also i just#hate that if i dont state something 10 million times a day people will just continue to assume the worst
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I work hard on my icons is the thing, and I know other creators do as well, they're small edits but they're still edits
It's finding the perfect screen shot, its lighting and coloring and even more!
then we put them nicely onto a rebloggable post, give people different color options and shapes, throw in lil graphics to give it a certain flair
All. For. Fucking. Free.
the least you can do is like the post you take your icon from, the best thing you can do is reblog them
I stopped making icons for months because my posts would get like 13 notes (most of them likes) and yet I'd see the icon be used by more than 13 people - NONE OF WHICH LIKED OR REBLOGGED THE POSTS
I've even seen people take my icons (again who didn't like or reblog the original post) and edit them and use them for something else WITHOUT MY PERMISSION or give me credit
its exhausting, please support the content creators on this website
#kayla.txt#the funny thing is when a good fucking chunk of fandom uses your icons and they have so little notes like jfc#I TAKE FUCKING REQUESTS#i know Im slow at them and I dont get to all of them but its right there#Im not askimg for credit I just want a reblog#ppl who give credit are the real ones though I love you 🥰#not necessary but makes me feel good#ive been doing this for years for free#I know when ppl steal my icons#i have a style I have a technique#the pngs I create are good ones#I literally paint the character in a mask and zoom in to make sure I get every hair and fold in the clothes#its not easy sometimes#AND LIGHTING ICONS JFC#just idk#we all pick our icons its something everyone sees on their dash everytime they go on tumblr#just give icon makers and banner makers and just all content creators more respect is what im saying#rant over
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when kendall never really got out of the lake and has just been sinking his way through the rest of the story. and shiv never sees past the slant of light to see the knife coming until its sticking out of her and she can brandish it back, clutching bloody and desperate. and roman doesn't fold and crawl back to logan cause he never truly left the cage. and connor always returns to the doghouse in the desert, dried up out of sight
#that shiv gifset comparing the slant of light moment to the nearest ep is making me go crazy everytime i see it#i know they are all fighting dogs and im only really clanging that against connor and roman here#but theres just something about The structure of like. the cage and connors place in the desert#being actual physical things and.. kendalls water being this endless like sinking feeling#and shiv is just ...............fuck.......................#mentally i am pacing round the roys over and over and over and tht feels very ✅️on the money#🔄🔄🔄😐😐🔄🔄😐😐🔄😐🔄😐🫂😐🔄😐🫂🫂😐🫂😐🔄😐😐😐😐🫂😐🫂😐🫂😐🔄🔄🔄🔄🫂🫂🔄🫂🔄🫂🔄🔄🔄🔄🔄#anyway heres how shiv violence can win#succession#chewtoy
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minho is so majestic i wished he existed in real life 😓
#BUT HELLO CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE TEASER ?????????#one of my top 3 solo songs aint gonna lie 😭#theres just something about this song that makes me feel so so happy everytime i listen to it#+ his choreo always brought a smile to my face#BUT NOW THIS?#the makeup???? the concept????? THE OUTFITT ????#if only real boys were like this 😓😓😓😓😓😓😓#lee minho#lee know#stray kids#stray kids lee know#skz#skz hop#e:skzhop hiptape
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please stop being weird in my rb’s and my dms about my characters. i really don’t wanna hear what you wanna do to my ocs it makes me Uncomfortable ok thank youuuu
#big reason why i’ve slowed down Dramatically#i really don’t wanna drift from my dear ocs that i’ve had for over a decade now but.#i feel my eyebags comically getting larger everytime i go to post because somebody’s always gonna say something that’ll make me feel. Weird.
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i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo
#ganondoodles talks#also probably sounds like self pity#but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist#i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think#but the internet never gets to see that much of me#i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere#so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing#i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out#i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with#i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong#im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh#it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again#sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with-#-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it#doesnt sound like a good excuse#... i want to thank those that do stick with me#even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise#there are little things that still make me angry at myself#like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing#and i got two#and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop#i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late#i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom#no matter how much i enjoy the ask#and i love getting asks!!!#im sorry :((
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i haven’t been here much recently, and i’m sorry i’ve only been negative on the off chance i’ve been online, but let me just say one last piece before the end of this month, so that maybe the next might be better….
#or maybe my time here ends w this month…i’m not sure i guess it all depends on how i feel but as of right now#everytime i think i'm fine i open tumblr and immediately am sad again the whole app has become my doomscroll at this point#i got a notification on a random talking post from a while ago and it felt like reading the words of a completely different person#lately i find it difficult to find any joy here at all when it always feels so lonely… a type of loneliness i’ve never experienced before#everyone always has ppl interacting w them who are interested in their stuff or are always sent things that are reminiscent of them....#i’m always praised for remembering stuff abt other ppl but i wonder if anyone remembers anything abt me#what is it about me that is so forgettable am i dull am i uninteresting did i not solidify myself enough do you guys just not like me lolz#but i don't want this to come across as guilt tripping or being ungrateful to what i do have because ik comparison is the death of joy but#it's still hard to watch when it's so in your face and it makes me think if ppl only talk to me because they feel obligated to#because anyone can say empty words.... i wish my perception of things didn't turn bitter i wish i hadn't become so jaded but#over and over i've felt irrelevant cast aside overshadowed and i cannot exist in a place where i feel like i'm a ghost in the corner#idk i've never felt like This before and i'm at least glad it's something i can walk away from by just....leaving...#sad that this used to be somewhere i can run away To but now it's become somewhere i want to run away From#i don't know...even if i get over whatever this is...things will never be the same for me... i just don't think i belong here#if only i had never made this blog then i would have saved myself a world of turmoil
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Do any other self shippers feel guilty when they start focusing on a new f/o?
#okay so I feel kinda bad rn because scratch been my main for awhile now and still is#like my self ship with him is a comfort ship for me#but bill kinda took over and I feel a bit guilty because one) I’m not focusing a lot on scratch like I use too#two) I feel like people who probably followed me for my ship with him are going to get disappointed because I keep focusing on bill#like I make jokes about scratch always pulling me back everytime I get a new crush but I wasn’t expecting to fall so hard for bill#don’t get me wrong scratch is still my 1st main and I’m still going to draw my ship with him and work on that comic#but rn I’m just really focused on bill#like I know I have a habit of jumping f/o(s) at times but this feels different#and I been feeling kinda sad about it#so I don’t know if others in the community have felt this or worry about disappointing other who followed them for something else#and I know it’s my blog and I can do whatever I want but I still stress about it#💬 chy chatter 💬
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I wanna dislike Rob so much and then he goes and says he likes beabadoobee and eye-
#ROB IS THE TYPICAL RED FLAG I DISLIKE IN THESE SHOWSBUT WDYM YOU LIKE BEA ME TOO ICONIC LEGEND SHIT#Idk if he is saying it to appear like not the other boys or because he genuinely means it but if he does I….. i fear I ….. I don’t wanna say#I stan but I….. ugh#and he is a snake charmer too I love snakes too ROB MAKE ME DISLIKE YOU ASJEKEK I LIKE BEING A HATER SOMETIMES#I am half joking btw don’t take me seriously it’s like 4 am#Serena my fav personality wise so far tho that’s my queen right there#and Jana is GORGEOUD Like everytime she is on screen with this man who barely speaks 2 words to her I am likeeee give us something you are#with this DROP DEAD GORGEOUS girl be obsessed with her !!!!#kordell and Serena are cute but like I feel he likes her and is sort of awkward bc that convo of her asking his goals#and my mans being like wdym I was like ??? wdym wdym? SKSKSKS your goals king what are your goals#but I think he was nervous so hopefully they vibe better in future conversations#love island usa#love island
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hitting send on my annual ‘the doctor, the widow and the wardrobe is good actually’ post
#it makes me cry everytime and I will not accept criticism#Doctor who#I often think of that bill hartnell quote about the doctor being something like the wizard of oz and Father Christmas#I feel like moffat really nailed that here#love the idea of the doctor just wanting to pay back a random act of kindness (and it all getting a bit out of control)
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#I see people posting like Louis tour pics and such on my dash again. just a little.#and I keep thinking oh look that's nice. and I wonder if people would be made happy if went back to regular posting#but everytime I think about just ...posting a bunch of pictures of Louis...#I think about what he's going through and how fucking sad he is right now#and how things are NOT happy and wonderful for him#and ugh idk it just feels too weird#sorry#it shouldn't like... we're always at such a huge remove from their lives that the idea that what they are currently feeling is#somehow relevant to our fanning is complete narcissism like I'm aware we never know#and we're ALWAYS out of step#but right now I DO know and it just makes me feel weird idk#we've been here before#and time heals all things#but I'm not there#absolutely NOT judging anyone for any posting choices they are making!!!! maybe I even appreciate it#just where *I* am at#more than ever I wish I could do something for Louis make things better#but yet again... I cannot. and it's painful.#especially with how much I've been thinking about that with Liam how all of that years of concern and wanting to make things better#ultimately did not effect shit
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thank you for feeding the lesbians with your works :3 don't die pls
-lesbian
anon do you want to get married
Thank you for serious anon, it means a lot :)
I'm not dead yet, prommy, i just. haven't written anything. Woops. It's not that I don't want to, I just tell myself I'll do it later and then I check the calendar and realize it's been a month since my last piece. Like, what do you mean my Cogita piece was made a month ago. Hello?
#not writing#everytime i feel bad about myself i remember that i have my five followers on tumblr who've got my back#epic#anyways#ironically the next thing on my list is actually for leon-#this blog is for LADIES and LEON he's my FAVORITE man thing#i have things in my inbox but have been thinking of making something for bnha...#im a my hero girlie im sorry actually no im not#thirsting over the bunny girl as always#what have i been doing? um not much#ive been playing terraria#its calamity im playing death mode for the first time and its been fun! ive spent the past 10 hours building#which i think is normal for me so#good night anons sweet dreams#omg speaking of dreams its FUCKING 50 DEGREES FAHERNEHEIT OUTSIDE I LOVE LIFE LIFE IS SO WONDERFUL
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In honor of homeward bound almost finishing (which btw im definitely gonna cry when that happens) i decided to draw as much fanart as i could for it while i listen to it in text to speech. For @thompsborn thank you so much for writing this amazing masterpiece ily like actually
based on this excerpt
also i now realize that maybe college people dont wear backpacks or maybe they do idk hopefully they do because its too late to change the pose 😥 okay im gonna yap in the tags cause its gonna be too long of a post
#my art#sketches#homeward bound fic#peter parker#no way home#warning: wall of tags!!#guys i literally love this fic so much#I love this scene cause its sad funby abd also a refrence to the tom holland pabts at the same time#I feel like every word and sentence in this fix is carefully thoughtout and none of them feel useless or boring like everytime i reread#I dont skip any part because if i do im missing something because each word is special#Also like its not repetitive at all like the effort put into this#Also its very sad#Like everytime i think well this is how sad the author can make me bro surprises me#ok thats enough tags#Omg but i lowkey wanna yap about the drawing process#It was kinda hard to decide what kind of hair to give him (as you see me struggle lol) but i figured since its tom holland i would try#to give him the same general hairstyle but he has a super clean look as peter like nerd so i tried keeping the shape but also make it messy#Also i flipped the canvas at the end and it was so bad next drawing will be better trust!!!
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