#makes me feel like im the only person on earth whos actually read imposter syndrome or any comic with surge and kit in it

[sonknuxadow]

the notes on that poll are making me feel insane half of them are like "voting for drago because at least starline isn't an abuser 😌" YES HE IS ????????????? DID YOU READ THE COMICS ????

[paranoid-throwaway]

kind of want to elucidate how i feel about the whole thing. i doubt anyone will ever care about this perspective on this extremely niche topic, but itll still be nice to have my thoughts written out somewhere. also just general journaling and writing practice, i really need to get better at conveying

its kind of crazy how sometimes i feel imposter syndrome regarding autism. i’m definitely high functioning, but the way this site is you’d think its the only type of autism to exist. I really am interested in the differences between how cis males experience having autism and the way ftm males experience autism. already, the preponderance of ‘autistic’ ftms is kind of odd. I do believe autism affects women, in fact one of the few brief episodes of autism solidarity in my life was my friendship with one at a educational program. Yeah, actually, in this post i really want to contrast what ive experienced as an autistic person and my interactions with other autistic people, vs tumblr autism. Its said that autism can affect gender identity, and it probably is true that autistic traits across both sexes are construed as masculine. I’ve really met two kinds of autistic people in my life. Theres autistic people who are still really un-selfware, lower functioning, and then theres people like me, who can function somewhat better and have managed to mostly supress sensory problems. It really is so hard to do, and the autistics ive met irl agree. In fact, for the most part we actually carry a lot of guilt over being autistic, self hatred for everything being so difficult when its not a problem for normal people at all. I still don’t really know how to feel about that. On the one hand, I do resonate with the concept that disabilites are a result of society, but i dont think thats an absolute principle. The ability to do unpleasant things, to take care of and clean oneself, to properly read social cues and norms will always be important for interacting with other people regardless of social structure or situation. Autistic people will probably always struggle with these things. Im certainly in the autism sucks camp, if i could get it cured or whatever i’d do it in a heartbeat. I do think being autistic has been important to forming my identity, but i am so fucking tired of being alone and friendless. Still, the guilt and self hatred i feel about my autism isn;t even the worse i’ve seen. The autistic girl I used to be friends with was also a devout christian, which we often argued about. Why on earth would god make autistic people? I’ll always remember being shocked when she told me the story of how in college she’d been raped, but even now she blames herself and being autistic. If she’d been more self aware, more alert to the guys ulterior motives, she feels like it wouldn’t have happened. I don’t agree, regardless of the society and situation rape shouldn’t happen and is never the victims fault. But it illustrates how negatively actuallyautistic(which is a stupid fucking tag) people feel about autism.

I do wonder what people in the other camp think autism speaks should actually do. I suppose just give free money to autistic people. That actually wouldn’t be half bad, but it should all go to people at assisted living programs or psych facilities. Its true that autism makes some of the demands of most jobs more difficult and thinks like attractiveness, personal grooming and social skills should absolutley not effect employment the way they do, but how the fuck do you legislate for that.

Another odd thing to me is the level of community that female autistics and ftm autistics seem to have. Autistic cis males are infamous for being friendless losers, and I am no exception. the closest thing to an autistic community is places like 4chan, which makes sense, as theres no social norms and no real connections to be made. I suposse its certainly possible that there are autistics who are incredibly good at masking, and have managed to ingrain certain habits in themselves 

another intersting contrast, though certainly a difficult one to discuss, is sexual inadequacy and so on. Everyone knows autistic guys dont really get pussy. I do wonder what is like for cis gay autistics. I do believe that gay people are generally more accepting and interested in more kinds of people and bodies than straights. Not really sure how much sexual dysfunction there is amongst ‘autistic’ ftms or women. virtually all of the ‘autistic’ ftms are gay, and typically date amongst themselves, which no doubt makes things easier. theres also a preponderance of asexual autistic ftms or enbies, many of whom are ‘high-functioning’ which is odd given that while asexuality has been connected to autism before, it’s mostly in severely autistic individuals who don’t care about social stuff at all. A lot of these asexual ‘autistic’ ftms seem just as obsessed with shipping dynamics as the allo ‘autistic’ ftms.

I wonder if theres something of a generational divide between zoomer autistics and older ones. older cis male autistics are way likelier to be bitter, extremist friendless losers, zoomer cis male autistics are much more likely to transition, which provides another, far stronger community.

At the end of the day, this all revolves around the fact that people who are ‘proud’ of their autism are innately suspicious to me. I realize there are people who reclaim their identity and move past the stigma, but surely there must be some lingering bitterness over how one was treated and how unfair it is. If your not bitter about it, it makes me wonder just how much ur ‘autism’ actually made you suffer, and If it didn’t or not very much at all, I just can’t see you as autistic. You don’t understand the pain that comes from actually struggling with it.

I also just really, really hate all of those jokes about how autism is sexy or cool. I realize some people say that sort of thing as a way to fight the stigma but it feels like it’s at the expense of actually recognizing the painful aspects of autism. Online friendships and communications are just as difficult and confusing as in person interactions are to me, yet a lot of autistics on tumblr seem to find an online community and integrate into it pretty effortlessly.

[spacejew]

oops accidental personal post I guess

It's weird that I almost feel the need to go here to personal blog again because of a handful of irl friends following what was supposed to be a private personal Twitter in theory, just for like, idk, internet strangers and friends I made online not those imported from meatspace. Also those character limits... Suffocating.

Anyways yeah things are kinda stable but dissapointing lifewise? I'm definitely in a rut and stuck somewhere I'm desperately trying to get out of. Also like. idk. Gender shit. I think I really fucked myself over hard when I made the decision a few years back to conviously bottle up all my dysphoria and trans feelings and bury them and repress them hard and just live as a very gay and feminine bi boy and like. hm. I think I've been happy since? But im thinking now that maybe. Because that's still a part of my psyche that haunts me every day. I might actually have been mildly depressed this whole time and like, still struggling to make important life decisions because of the anxiety of that. Idk. Maybe if I got a therapist and realistic attention to that all those years ago and it turned out to be very real n legit and i got to make tough choices and live my truth, I would be equipped now to actually be joyful and able to fully focus on hard work and taking risks and putting myself out there and being successful and shit. Idk idk idk. I just have to wonder if all this time I've actually been quite unhappy and filling the void with dumb shit and a good deal of dissociation and complacency. Idk. what I'm saying is maybe I made a big mistake there lmao and could've started transitioning, if that's right for me, 4-7 years ago maybe, who knows. Haha so fun. Fuck me. Big Regrets, lads. But also I still don't know if that's right. Which probs means it is who am I kidding. Oof. But it's ok life is a journey I'm full of wise shit and I know it's not the end of the world. It just kinda. Makes me so sad on behalf of the old me who would cry so much because of dysphoria and living in this body in this life. She knew. I don't know why I buried her alive like that. Anyways.

I spent all year struggling to make an animated short (which ended up being kinda long tbh like 10 minutes?) by myself mostly, just me and my mental blocks and executive dysfunction and shit, but I was v passionate about it and worked hard and got to actually bring a whole vision to life, with basically nobody to tell me what to do, just give me feedback that I wasn't obligated to follow. It came out pretty nice and I'm very happy that I got to tell exactly the story I wanted and try a cool new look and I just wish I gave myself more time to work on the actual animation part but I put my heart and endless weeks and months of refinement into the storyboarding and script and every little detail and I really feel accomplished and like it paid off -- and I even got to do a private screening at my summer camp job that I was called in to do one more time at the last minute right when I finished my film, it was a miracle and so perfect, everyone cried and truly loved it and felt touched by it. And then I went to animation festivals! And all this cool shit! But... I haven't been able to figure out a public screening thing yet. And I feel like all my excitement is gone now. And I really wanted to polish the look and some backgrounds a little, just some very quick rerendering and comp, but. I feel like too much time has passed, i just feel dissapointed. I haven't put it online yet cause I haven't done my public screening, cause of my stupid anxiety about little details and overall idk imposter syndrome I guwss I feel more ashamed of it than proud of it even tho it's probably good, and like I feel that everyone was excited to support me but probably nobody cares anymore.

Basically I had all the wind taken out of my sails. Oh and right when I was trying to get it off the ground I guess and push through, my grandma died. I'm so heartbroken I loved her so fucking much and. She never got to see the film cause of my stupid bullshit. I feel so bad about that. So so bad. Ugh. And it's a film very very hilariously blatantly directly based on me and my feelings and my real family history, ultimately besides other main themes it's about talking to your grandparents and family about the past and your current feelings. And in it the main character, a girl, cough cough even though it's basically me, cough cough go figure, gender shit, anyways the climax is her going back in time to talk to her great grandma, and it's very emotional and my best friend of like almost 10 years now composed and recording a music for that scene for me. And now when I eventually screen this, my entire family and also myself is gonna get torn to shreds by this scene more than intended because my own fucking grandma, who I was excited to show this film to more than anyone on earth, passed so unexpectedly without seeing it. Fuck. Why didn't I send it to her when she was in the hospital? Obviously cause if I did that that would make it real and she wouldn't get better and all I do is live in denial. Ugh. Anyways yeah. The point is I'm stagnant and in a rut right now and just want to move forward and focus on making new work and just get a real career relevant job already. Tough year hit a well needed high and now petering off back into misery. Not to be dramatic. I'm ok tbh I have a part time I'm slowly getting sick of and a loving supportive partner and some very good friends, tho not as many as I used to see regularly and that's kinda sad too. That's your 20s babey.

I just need to move on and make big changes. My pattern rn is like. Work fri-sun, if I'm lucky I get to hang out with friends or lovers, usually at least with my partner. on monday I recover from working. on tuesday I have dnd and usually get some stuff done but honestly just catch up on warframe with my clan friends. wednesday my partner and I got to the park and library for half the day and eat and draw and talk. on thursday I mentally prepare for work again and usually we go out to play another roleplaying game with her roommates friends. a lot of that free time that's been left unmentioned is spent being over at bae's sometimes so I don't have the ability to get much work done. Lately I've spent most of my time planning a dnd campaign which is fun but also too stressful on account of obviously I'm not playing it yet so like what's the point, sorry friends who have patiently waited for months for me to be ready to start the game for them. And also like. Yeah idk. just sad and confused and resting my weary heart and body after a very rough month after my grandma passed. But! I did accomplish a very crazy deep cleaning of my room. I threw out 14 bags of shit at the least. I wish I weighed it all, it was a lot. I feel so much more organized and cleansed from that. For the record I didn't have any trash in my room, nor was it every a mess. Just every single cabinet and drawer was crammed full of stuff and I guess I hoarded a lot of shit. I was able to throw away a lot of things I held on to be cause of sentimentality and I'm proud of myself for growing that way. So like. Idk. It's not all bad, baby steps. I still feel like I'm constantly improving as a person! I'm positive, optimistic. Just tired, anxious, and feel bad.

Also I finally got a new phone and because of my hubris I dropped it without a case and it shattered only two weeks in. The day I was gonna buy a case. But it's ok. Story of my life I guess. I can't keep everything pristine and polished forever, one day shit falls and breaks but it's still usable. It has character.

I wasn't expecting to dump everything like this, sorry yall. Thanks for reading I guess. Also I forgot how to do a read more on mobile lol sorry

[ineedtopopmyzit]

Ersatz

I can’t shake this feeling of jealousy. When a Tinder guy sent me a writing sample of his, I couldn’t help but to think that he was a good writer. I’ve only read very few poems written by not famous people. This probably was my second. And both of them were very good writers. Then of course the imposter syndrome kicks in and I can’t help but to feel like my writing isn’t good enough. And idk.. lately I’ve been thinking about his writing a lot. probably because I’ve been really wanting to start publicly writing on social platforms outside of my journaling on Tumblr. And today, I found out his writing was featured on @poets page on IG. Im not gonna lie, I feel upset. I think this feeling has less to do with actual jealousy but more to do with the fact that he ghosted me. I actually feel really upset at the fact that he ghosted me. Maybe because I thought that we could be friends... Idk why I always go into meeting this Tinder dates thinking that if anything we can end up being friends... and almost always, they never care to see it that way. And that appalls me. I don’t like seeing people as throw-aways. Just cus I decided not to have romantic interest to you doesn’t mean i don’t think you are cool? a lot of the times i go on these dates because they are really cool! and i would love to get to know them more. And it’s just such a shame that i have not had any successful friendship that i have forged through Tinder. 

I am manifesting this idea of a writers’ collective. so far, it’s just me and my sister. but originally i had a couple people in mind... like that tinder guy... (until he ghosted me before i even mentioned anything about writing), and a couple people from my ceramics class... although one of them ended up having some sort of a feeling for me and it kind of got awkward... And i think it’s best that i give him some time before reaching out again... (if i do) and the other one ended up moving away. so idk, it’s the universe’s way of telling me that i can do it on my own... i don’t need to piggy back on other people’s talent. 

but i still feel mad about the tinder guy being a good writer. his personality was so shitty yet he writes like he’s sensitive, deep and down to earth. he for sure just wanted to bang me. and i know it’s not as personal as i think but i just don’t have respect for guys zombie walking through life wanting to bang their pain away. especially when their intentions aren’t disclosed upfront. i don’t think they understand that the other person might feel like they’ve been played. i just know that i no longer entertain guys with those intentions. and i no longer choose to share parts of myself with people who aren’t looking to make deeper connections. 

so yes, that’s why i am upset. the writer feels like a fraud and his writing is not the truth that he shared with me. and i can’t stand for people who are disingenuous. 

[comicteaparty]

December 7th, 2017 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on December 7th, 2017, from 5PM - 7PM PST.  The chat focused on Heart Hex by tendermiri.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

Good day everyone~! This week’s Comic Tea Party is now officially beginning. Today we are discussing Heart Hex by tendermiri~! (http://hearthex.tumblr.com/) For those new to CTP, discussions about the comic are freeform, so please feel free to bring up whatever you wish. However, every 30 minutes I will be dropping in a discussion question to help those who would like a prompt. These questions are totally OPTIONAL to answer so pay them no mind if you wish~! Remember, constructive criticism is allowed, but the primary focus here is to have fun and appreciate the amazing comics that the community makes~! Each chat a top comment will be picked and featured on an ad for this chat, so let’s have a great discussion~!

With that said, let us begin with this first question~!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

MathTans the Pun Prince

Helloooo! I'd say my fave scene was actually the one where Teo was musing about being an internet sensation and what it might mean to lose it and such. Resonated with me, in part because I'm so far on the other end of the spectrum. ^.^

zestwitch

I especially enjoyed the palm reading scene, like the page that showed the various lines on the palm and explaining what they meant. It was a nice story break that functioned as a plot driver and also built atmosphere. :^)

MathTans the Pun Prince

Oh yeah, that was neat! I admit, I looked at my own palm to see if I could spot similar lines.

zestwitch

Yep it's really nice when comics that feature witches involve smaller/quieter aspects, makes it feel well rounded

RebelVampire

both are really good scenes. I like how Teo's internet musings were visually presented cause something about it just made it more realistic and grounding. for the palm reading scene tho i also really love that it broke to show the palm reading lines. i think the way its presented is really helpful for those who ahve never had their palm read and would otherwise be on google going wtf is this magic

MathTans the Pun Prince

The colour coding was clever too.

Also, speaking of visual presentation, impressive backgrounds.

zestwitch

Oh yes- I really like that it's set in Chicago. That's my bias lol I love when stories take place here.

Superjustin of Time and Space

HI THERE

And yeah Chicago is a cool place

MathTans the Pun Prince

Heh. I don't think I even majorly picked up on that. Guess I only notice when it's set around where I am. ^^

All the baddest demons hang out in Chicago.

Superjustin of Time and Space

yes

RebelVampire

gonna be honest i also didnt notice the specific setting. XD some sort of city was enough for me while reading. i was a bit more focused on the demon XD

MathTans the Pun Prince

Curious, did anyone think Lee's boyfriend was actually legit sorry about wanting her back? I was majorly skeptical.

zestwitch

As in, did he truly want her back?

MathTans the Pun Prince

Yeah. I was worried he was playing her for more information about the witchy things. Turned out he was just a jerk, but when she accepted him, I felt like, oh dear.

zestwitch

Yeah I don't think he's genuine with either lee or dana. He seems to me like he leans towards whoever is convenient for him, or just how he happens to feel. Not sure if he really loves either of them.

Superjustin of Time and Space

this guy's face

I lvoe it for some reason

RebelVampire

he does have a good expression there

MathTans the Pun Prince

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he doesn't now, after what we saw in the background of Teo's story. Maybe I'm just suspicious by nature, I had doubts from the get-go. ^.^

RebelVampire

i definitely dont think ant was genuine at all

the minute he walked into that apartment i screamed "dont you take him back its a trap"

and then it was a trap

MathTans the Pun Prince

Right, Ant. (I'm bad on names.) Okay, so not just me, whew.

RebelVampire

nah everything about ant screamed dishonest

not to mention most ppl who cheat tend to cheat again

not always some ppl do learn. but a lot just really dont change

MathTans the Pun Prince

The twin brother thing is interesting. They're drawn differently enough though that I don't think mistaken identity will come up. (Hair colour in particular.)

Superjustin of Time and Space

props to this hair too

zestwitch

Yes I'm very interested in Teo's brother, right off the bat he has a really engaging personality so I'd like to see more of him

Teo too. He's very likable

MathTans the Pun Prince

They're less demonic.

RebelVampire

im interested in the fact theyre twins just cause they have gone out of their way to look really different. so at first glance you would not expect that. it opesn up a lot of questions about their relationship too

MathTans the Pun Prince

Seems like they only recently moved in together too? Wonder if it was after Teo separated from his past relationship.

Superjustin of Time and Space

>two boys moving together(edited)

I like those kind of things for some reason

zestwitch

I think the thing I'm most interested in is more info on the demon. Rosier

I wanna know more about his backstory and motivations for sure.

MathTans the Pun Prince

He seems to enjoy his work.

Superjustin of Time and Space

Yea

RebelVampire

i know on the character profiles it says he hasnt been to earth since the 1600's

which now makes me wonder who made the last blood pact

zestwitch

True

MathTans the Pun Prince

I really need to remember to look at the profile pages. >.<

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. The comic deals with a lot of themes in regards to revenge, love, fame, and even cause & effect. Each character has their own personal issues, from Lee’s torn apart love life to Teo’s newness to fame. Which character’s struggle resonates with you the most and why? How do you think their struggles tie into other themes of the comic? Additionally, what other themes not mentioned have you noticed in the comic, and why do you think they’re important to the larger story?

MathTans the Pun Prince

Heh, well, as I said, the Teo fame thing actually resonates, largely because of how different it is from where I'm at. He's made it "big" (relatively) and is doing signings and things, while wondering about how it affects his life. Speaking as someone who's still trying to claw together more than a dozen readers after 6 years, I wonder if I'd be equally vexed on the flip side.

(Hm, vexed is the wrong word. Angsty?)

Teo's got the whole imposter thing going on too, wondering if it's only because of his brother's popularity that he's made a name for himself.

zestwitch

True the imposter syndrome facet is really interesting

RebelVampire

i at least found his struggle relatable in that i watch a lot of youtubers who talk about stuff like that. where theyre just doing all these things going what even how did this happen

so i feel the portrayal of the struggle is actually pretty realistic

thats a good spot tho

MathTans the Pun Prince

It's one you don't often see either.

RebelVampire

the imposter syndrome

tho i cant blame him cause there is a point its hard to know which person has more influence on the other

i mean im sure there are some fans of his that are his fans cause his brother is a cool rockstar

its just always a question of how many

MathTans the Pun Prince

There is that. It could have helped boost his name, the association, at least initially.

Like, his thoughts can't have come from nowhere.

zestwitch

Yeah + family seems to be a strong theme for Teo. In the q/a it said we'd see more of his daughter eventually

MathTans the Pun Prince

True, true. He's got a good conscience also, bumping the coffee onto Ant. I imagine his brother's decent too, letting Teo move in. Wonder why his relationship hasn't worked out. Was the fame thing part of it?

RebelVampire

well considering his reaction to ant i kind of assumed some self projection there

MathTans the Pun Prince

Hmm, that's interesting. I can see it, didn't think about that.

RebelVampire

not to say thats for sure

but he did have an extreme reaction to the conversation

which most ppl would just probably ignore it

MathTans the Pun Prince

So he was kinda tuned into it? Could have been he was bored.

RebelVampire

there were other ppl in the shop tho and he was poised to write stuff down. but mostly, bumping into him so ant spills hot coffee on himself is not the most upstanding reaction XD that is the action of someone who is bitter about something

MathTans the Pun Prince

There is that. Of course, inserting yourself into a conversation and saying "hey, you're kind of terrible to be talking behind someone's back" is a tough sell. I guess I just liked the comeuppance too much.

RebelVampire

maybe what happened tho is diff. like teo had a breakup and later the person was like "nah man i never loved you you actually dont mean anything to me now" cause there was a similar line that seemed to trigger his reaction

MathTans the Pun Prince

That could be. Now, while Teo's struggle resonates the most, the one I'm most curious about is between Lee and Dana. Because they were both played by Ant, but then Lee just stepped right the hell over the line about having her watch as Rosier killed him. (I guess because she thought Dana was in on it??) I feel like that's got to play into things.

It also kind of kills my yuri ship of Lee and Dana consoling each other over the jerk because Dana likely has PTSD.

zestwitch

It might be jealousy. Sucks for dana. But considering lee would go far enough to have ant killed, its not a large step further to have the girl who replaced her watch it happen.

MathTans the Pun Prince

Guess it could be jealousy. Maybe that's a larger arcing theme.

RebelVampire

i like that both stories are connected by some themes of...im gonna say lonliness even tho im not sure thats the word i want to use. maybe isolation. cause lee and teo both seem to be having struggles with connecting with others.

MathTans the Pun Prince

Ooh, that's a good point. Yeah, like isolation issues.

Being defined by the people around them.

RebelVampire

which maybe dana will become more prominent and have a similar theme where shes like "nope if i date this person theyll become demon chow"

MathTans the Pun Prince

(Is there a statute of limitations on blood oaths?)

RebelVampire

idk O_O maybe.

oh thats a good one too that theyre all being defined by the people around them

makes you wonder what lee was like before ant

MathTans the Pun Prince

Like, now that the deed is done, does Rosier just chill out on the couch until someone else summons him?

Truth. He doesn't seem to have changed her for the better.

I doubt living with a demon will do wonders for her psyche either.

She was wondering about if she was on the tipping point.

RebelVampire

more likely he does some soul collection and gtfo there but maybe not. i mean we have no idea what rosier's endgame is. hes a demon and demons usually up to no good

unless the character profile lied

and he really just wants to have an epic career as a ninja

MathTans the Pun Prince

Characters evolve. ^.^

RebelVampire

that they do

so idk

its up in the air now whatll go on with rosier

MathTans the Pun Prince

Rosier teaches Teo how to be a ninja next.

(Time for some oddball theories.)

RebelVampire

oh another theme thats kind of present is impulsiveness. cause lee obviously made an impulsive decision, teo implies his fame thing was kind of impulsive decision with the initial video.

but now that makes me wonder if ant also made an impulsive decision

MathTans the Pun Prince

Oooh, interesting, didn't pick up on that.

RebelVampire

and he had actually gone to lee's apartment to check on her

but then was like "baby i love you you so hot"

MathTans the Pun Prince

Maybe. Dude might as well have a devil on each shoulder if that's the case though.

RebelVampire

sometimes ppl do. not to say hes suddenly guiltless or anything. but maybe he didnt intend to get with her which is why he was so abrasive in a way with dana. trying to deny the deed

for himself

MathTans the Pun Prince

Yeah, except ticking off a blood witch seems like not good for self preservation. I dunno. Maybe he's more brainless than a jerk?

Like, he apparently doesn't know Lee half as well as he thinks.

RebelVampire

well to be fair he might just view her as mostly a scammer. since she does scam ppl apparently

QUESTION 3. Though Ant and Lee almost patch things up, Ant proves to be a cheater still. In her despair, Lee instructs the demon Rosier to kill Ant. However, there is clearly a soul at stake in this bargain. What do you think will happen to Lee now that Ant is dead? Will Rosier call for the soul now? Does the soul have to be Lee’s or is Rosier after Ant’s soul? Will Lee regret her actions or just rejoice Ant is dead? Will she become aware of how her actions have affected others or will she live in blissful ignorance of what she has wrought?

MathTans the Pun Prince

Oh, with palm reading? I didn't pick up on that.

RebelVampire

idk if it was with the palm reading. i just know ant mentioned her scamming and her profile mentions she scams college kids on the side

MathTans the Pun Prince

Gotcha. Regarding the question, huh, I just kind of assumed it was Ant's soul. Unless Lee interceded and found someone else.

zestwitch

I think Lee paid with her own soul

in exchange for the favor? Not 100% sure

MathTans the Pun Prince

I don't think Lee will regret killing Ant. I do think she might regret making Dana watch. Which she could learn about through Teo, if he ends up seeing a similar expression on Dana as the one Lee had when Rosier was hanging about. (It could just be me trying to ship the two women again.)

RebelVampire

yeah the comic was vague so anybody's soul is up for grabs. tho maybe its dana's soul thats gonna get taken cause shes there. it could be ant's soul tho. ant's soul makes sense since hes dead therefore his soul is not exactly using his body. but its a blood pact so lee's soul makes more sense

i think shell regret killing ant tho. especially if she goes and sees

cause she loved him at one point

and love is harder to get over than a moment of rage

MathTans the Pun Prince

Maybe. I guess it depends on how well she can put it behind her (which could be impossible depending on Rosier's actions next). Like, maybe she'd regret having caused someone's death, but I still hesitate on whether there was anyone else more worthy.

I wonder if anyone else will be miffed. Like, how can the police deal with something like this, when you've got an eyewitness talking about demons? Would she be written off as a loon, or are there X-Files agents out there who might start asking questions, annoying other witches?

RebelVampire

i doubt were gonna go x-files here

but now that you mention it

dana is probably going to jail or the psych ward

or is at least going to be prime suspect

cause she was the only one in the room

thered probably be no demon evidence

and lee whod have the most motive has an alibi kind of

MathTans the Pun Prince

Oh heck. I hadn't even considered that Dana'd be a suspect. (Not the odango girl, nuuu!) I don't think she'd have motive though, really. But yeah, kinda means and opportunity. THAT'S something Lee could feel guilty about.

Still wonder how prevalent such things are elsewhere in the world.

RebelVampire

id assume not very maybe. i mean at the very least, if theres witches about youd think someone wouldve summoned rosier much sooner

rather than wait at least 400 years

MathTans the Pun Prince

He might have been in self-imposed (or externally imposed) exile for that time.

Or maybe he's connected to Lee's bloodline specifically or something, and no one on her side of the family summoned him. Other bloodlines have other demons.

RebelVampire

hmm possibly

MathTans the Pun Prince

Or time passes different in the demon realms. I dunno, I'm making up stuff now. ^.^

What do they even do with souls?

Power their microwaves?

RebelVampire

that is a good question.

maybe eat them. using them for tennis practice

hard to say

rosier so vague

MathTans the Pun Prince

"I need soul!" "I'll play you some jazz music."

RebelVampire

LOL

regardless i feel like at the end lee wont have time to regret what happens to others. i feel shes gonna be focused on the fact she now has a spooky demon who has fulfilled his end of the bargain

MathTans the Pun Prince

It does take a while for that sort of thing to sink in. Lots happening in a short time frame here.

RebelVampire

although i would like to see lee at least regret the dana part. cause thats just cold hearted. she didnt even consider that dana got played just as much as she did

MathTans the Pun Prince

Yeah. Kind of a rude introduction to the spirit world there. (Ooh, I wonder if Dana might have some powers of her own...)

Like, maybe Ant likes to date people with connections to the spirit realm.

RebelVampire

queue the next chapter where dana gets her own blood pact going and rosier and another demon have epic demon fights

MathTans the Pun Prince

I'd read that. Particularly if while the demons are duking it out the pretty ladies just go off and make out somewhere. (Sorry, sorry, I'll try to get off this boat...)

I remember reading in the Q&A that Lee is bi. ^.^

RebelVampire

i think your ship is a bit doomed there considering lee just made the girl watch ant get sliced into sashimi

thats kind of a mood killer

MathTans the Pun Prince

Both of them may have regrets. ^.^

RebelVampire

QUESTION 4. The description of the story mentions it is about the “far-reaching consequences of one impulsive decision.” Considering the comic has switched to focusing on Teo now, what do you think will happen to Teo? Will his brief encounter with Lee make him a target for Rosier? Will his career or something else be affected because of how he interacted with Ant (who is now very dead)? Is there some foreshadowing in the palm reading that Teo received that can hint at what these consequences might be? Alternatively, is Teo a red herring and going to get off scot free?

MathTans the Pun Prince

Hmm... going back to something you said earlier, maybe Teo is being presented as a counterpoint to Ant. Like, maybe he was kind of a jerk when he was a few years younger, and now he's older and reformed and is doing good. (Both Teo and Ant have a daughter, I think?) So Lee sees what Ant could have become, if he lived.

RebelVampire

hmm thats an interesting interpretation.

i wonder if them both having daughters is going to be important

MathTans the Pun Prince

I also feel like Teo'll end up mixed up in things more owing to seeing the reactions of others to Rosier rather than interacting with the demon himself, since he's open to stuff like palm reading, plus that scene of Lee rushing him out of the place still resonates a bit (maybe because it was fairly recent in the narrative).

All guesswork, of course.

RebelVampire

it could be. or maybe hell see lee again cause something in the palm reading comes true.

so hes like holy crap and goes to see her again

and shes just hiding in the corner crying cause spook demon is about

MathTans the Pun Prince

That could be. I don't remember much of the palm stuff, I read it over the weekend. ^.^ But I could see that.

RebelVampire

the gist was basically "Teo your life sucks and it will continue to suck"

XD

or its possible that itll be on the news, ant's death that is

thanks napples

and while teo is with his bro hell be like "whoa i saw that guy this morning"

and then teo self reflects

tho maybe the outcome wont be negative

maybe hell see ant had a daughter and is like "i should spend more time with my kid"

Superjustin of Time and Space

I find it very unliekly

but what if somehow

MathTans the Pun Prince

Napples likes to get some digs in. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it'll make the news, what with the talk of graphic portrayal.

Superjustin of Time and Space

Ant returned form the grave

in spirit or something

MathTans the Pun Prince

Could be, Rebel.

RebelVampire

i could see as a spirity ghost. and rosier is like "here lee i got you this cheating boyfriend"

MathTans the Pun Prince

We don't know much about the spirit world, true SJ

Superjustin of Time and Space

lol

MathTans the Pun Prince

Could be the "soul" part that Rosier wants.

Superjustin of Time and Space

Perhaps

RebelVampire

maybe ant's ghost will haunt lee cause unfinished business and all that jazz

and he will eternally remind lee what she did

MathTans the Pun Prince

Smooth jazz music plays

Superjustin of Time and Space

yeah that sound slike a cool moment.

MathTans the Pun Prince

Maybe Lee ends up taking in Ant's daughter, and needs to turn to Teo for advice on how to raise a kid?

RebelVampire

maybe but id assume ant's daughter lives with the mom so that seems unlikely

tho maybe lee gets invited to the funeral

and meets ant's daughter

and is like oops

i killed someone's dad

MathTans the Pun Prince

Who is also Teo's aunt! Dun dun dun.

(The mom who is also the aunt that is. Not Lee.)

The circumstances of how their threads weave back together will be interesting either way, I think

RebelVampire

yeah i look forward to seeing how things reconnect. cause the change in focus really has me curious where its going to go. like is it going to be a dual protagonist situation where it switches back and forth between them. or is it going to have more

like maybe after teo we follow teo's bro or something

MathTans the Pun Prince

Or maybe it's less a dual protagonist thing and is more protagonist/antagonist. Lee's already indicated she thinks she's not a good person.

Maybe Teo tries to help Dana or something, and Lee says screw that noise, and they end up on opposite sides of the coin.

RebelVampire

could be although i feel like lee isnt going to go that far. i mean she was certainly the villain when it came to ant and dana, but i dont feel shes going to continue down the evil path. unless what rosier wants with a soul is to have some servant of evil. in which case maybe lee will just serve him and bring him victim after victim

MathTans the Pun Prince

I don't see her continuing down it unless Rosier's involved, yeah. Guess we'll see.

Anyway, before things wrap, just want to mention again that backgrounds were done very well in my opinion. Also all the best to the author and thyroids, my wife has trouble with hers, they can be problematic.

RebelVampire

yes i hope the author is doing better. illnesses of any kind suck

but yeah the backgrounds are nice

tho i think the art is general has a really nice, well-done style

i really love lee's witch outfit

MathTans the Pun Prince

Truth.

The hair progression in the Q&A was neat too.

RebelVampire

Unfortunately, the scheduled Comic Tea Party is now complete~! Thank you everyone so much for joining this week’s chat~! That being said, if you would like to continue discussing the comic, we encourage you to do so~! We want to give a big thank you to tendermiri, as well, for volunteering Heart Hex for our reading queue. If you liked the comic, please be sure to support tendermiri’s efforts. If you have questions, concerns, or suggestions about CTP, please feel free to PM me, or e-mail me at RebelVampire@startfaire.com.

With that said, next week’s Comic Tea Party will focus on Zaltera by Morgan Mudway (aka Tri). Please use this week to read as much of the comic as you would like. Hope to see you next Thursday (December 14th) from 5PM to 7PM PST~! Until then~! Comic: http://zalteracomic.com/