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wolfsbane-and-nettles · 2 months ago

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'Chosen Horizons' Chapter 45.5 - Epithets

[Summary: Bilbo Baggins is a little overwhelmed with newfound responsibility and doesn't quite know how to process it or understand his own feelings. For once, Thorin is the one who has right right words to say...]

[word count: Source: 2,888]

[Tags: Fluff-ish, Established Relationship, Thorin is Bilbo's biggest supporter]

After much discussion, we came to the decision that this part of chapter 46, though good, was not necessary, and kinda detracted from the flow...but damn did I love writing it. So I decided to make it a little bonus chapter I'll post here for anyone who would want to read it. Can be read as a stand alone one-shot, I think...so if you've never read 'Chosen Horizons', but are curious, I think it can be read as it's own little story.

The real chapter 46 will be posted tomorrow on schedule!

Respect was something ingrained in hobbits from the time they were young faunts, 'til the day they took their last breaths. That being said, Bilbo had found his sense of respect waning as his journey to Erebor dragged onward. In the past, primarily in the Shire, Bilbo focused on saving face whenever he could, as was the respectful thing to do. Saving himself and others from embarrassment and humiliation was something understood as proper Hobbiton-hobbit respectability. In Tookburough, where things were more lighthearted and less stiff, the pinnacle of respect was when you helped your elders and strangers.

It was in Bilbo's very bones to do these things. Yet on this maddening quest, Bilbo had stopped feeling obliged to hold back his sharp wit, and chatted and bantered away with the rest of the lot. He didn't feel as if he needed to offer Balin or Oin a hand when they were getting on or off their ponies…seeing as they were just as physically capable as the rest of them.

No, this journey had changed Bilbo in many ways…and all for the better he'd like to think.

As Bilbo stared blankly at the paper on the table, the quill in his hand leaving blots of ink as he let it sit on the paper, unmoving, he contemplated the best way to express this new change in him. As a hobbit, his immediate reaction was to always relate back to nature.

Bilbo was like a butterfly experiencing a metamorphosis…except that wasn't quite right, as a caterpillar was always doomed to create its cocoon and grow their beautiful wings. Was it always Bilbo's destiny to become so…whatever he was now? He knew fate had guided him to where he was…but he was under no obligation to become less of a hobbit in the process.

It truly felt like this new side of him was all his own making.

So if not a butterfly in metamorphosis, then what?

'Like a soul transmogrified…Oh, goodness no. That sounds far too…grotesque.' The hobbit thought to himself as he scribbled and scratched his quill against the paper, feeling comforted by the familiar sensation of writing.

"Is everything alright, Master Baggins?" Called a voice to him, which despite being so near by sounded so far away, like a distant, unfamiliar thought.

'Or, perhaps it isn't as grand as all that. Perhaps I am more akin to stone being 'sculpted'…always changing until the artist deems it perfect. Oh, no I don't like that…what happens when the artist needs to continue making changes? Can you add stone to a sculpture?' He thought to himself, his brow furrowing as he continued contemplating.

"Master Baggins?" The voice called once more, and still, Bilbo stared vacantly at his paper.

'Hmmm…No, comparing a hobbit to stone doesn't suit the situation at all. Which rules out 'a soul continuously tempered'…even if I have taken quite the beating to get here….'

"Bilbo?" Came a softer, rumbling voice in his ear, followed by the gentle and warm touch of a large hand on his forearm.

"Molded! Like clay! You can always add more clay, and even if a pot breaks, you can always find a use for the scraps…plenty of people will take the scraps and makemark art, did you know that?" Bilbo asked Thorin excitedly, turning to the dwarf as he finally acknowledged Thorin and the rest.

It was then that Thorin, Fili, Kili, and Balin, as well as Bard and his son Bane, stared at Bilbo with the most perplexed expressions Bilbo's ever seen on them all at once.

Thorin took a peek at the paper in front of Bilbo, seeing how the ink blots were now smudged on the hobbit's hands . Though the words Bilbo had scratched out didn't seem to make a lick of sense regarding the current topic of discussion.

"Metamorphosis."

"Sculpted."

"Transmogrify."

"Trans…transmogrify? What does that even mean?" Thorin muttered, leaning in closer to Bilbo as he read the word aloud, and Bilbo blushed in embarrassment, aware now that he'd not been paying attention as he should have been.

Fili then leaned over closer to Balin, and began reading the words the advisor had written, trying to make sense of Bilbo's rambling.

"The exchange of coin between the Kingdoms of Erebor and Dale shall be conducted at the rate of one to one. Should any mannish or dwarven party be found to withhold, defraud, or diminish the rightful due of the other based on - by suspicion or otherwise - race, they shall be subject to the King's justice, and will be fined twice the…'molded' value? 'Transmogrified' value? I'm sorry Uncle Bilbo, but I'm not quite following." Fili spoke clearly, his cheeks red as he felt he was simply misunderstanding something, as he (like most) trusted Bilbo's skill with words.

Bilbo's entire face flushed in disbelief at himself. How impertinent! How rude! How…disrespectful! Bilbo looked out at the table, feeling mortified at his behavior.

"Is everything alright, Bilbo?" Thorin asked carefully, concern in his eyes as he worried for Bilbo's health, considering he did just wake from a coma less than a week ago.

"I…Yes, yes. Everything is quite alright…I simply…" Bilbo cleared his throat, feeling the need to stand up and stretch. Having forgotten that he was sitting in a newly reclaimed city of men, Bilbo didn't think twice about trying to slide off his chair. Instead of landing gracefully, as a gentle hobbit would…he didn't take the wooden box beneath him into consideration. It tilted forward, throwing Bilbo off balance as he tried to stop his inevitable tumble.

The box slipped out from under him and he was wedged between it and the table for a moment, which jostled him and caused him to hit his brow to the table, the force of which pushed the chair back, and caused him to become unlocked…allowing Bilbo to land on his rear on the cold, stone ground.

Silence struck the room and all eyes were still on him. Thorin had gotten to his feet to try to help his One up, only for embarrassment and frustration to fuel the hobbit's next actions.

He swatted Thorin's hand away, and glared at him and everyone else as he got to his feet, patting the dust off his jacket, and put his fists on his hips.

"You're all too big! Too big, I say! This chair is too large, and this table too wide, and you are simply too tall, King Bard!" Bilbo growled, wagging his pointer finger at the newly appointed King of Dale as if he were a child being scolded.

"Do you need a smaller chair?" Balin was the first to offer a suggestion.

"Oh! Do you need some food? Hard to feel good during a meeting if you're hungry, aye?" Fili asked next, wanting to help soothe his Uncle's frustrations.

"No, no…no…none of that. I'm sorry. I just…I need some fresh air." Bilbo mumbled to himself as he rubbed his now sore back, and shuffled his way tiredly out of their meeting, hearing Balin call a recess, and telling Ori to write the times down in his journal.

"Amralime…What is on your mind?" Thorin asked, finding Bilbo standing by a small stone wall with his elbows perched atop them, his tired eyes staring out towards the Lonely Mountain.

"I'm alright…" Bilbo sighed, his eyes glued to the mountain, tracing the path he'd taken upward until he could no longer see it…and then closed his eyes as he so vividly remembered crawling through the raven's tunnel…and then facing a dragon.

Killing a dragon.

"I'm…I'm a little…overwhelmed is all. Why…why was I even invited to this meeting, Thorin? I've got nothing to do with the financial comings and goings of men and dwarrow." He pointed out, his eyes open once more, facing Thorin's own bright blue eyes.

"I do believe that the 'Savior of Men and Dwarves' is far more than deserving to sit in on a meeting regarding them…" Thorin smirked, gently covering Bilbo's hand with his own.

"Is that what they're calling me now?" Bilbo grimaced. "I think I prefer 'Dragon Slayer' to that. Somehow it feels less…pretentious." He sighed, though felt relaxed as Thorin pulled Bilbo into a soothing embrace, and the small chuckle that Thorin gave sounded like the purring of a cat with his ear pressed against the dwarf's chest.

"Both names are fitting, I think. Once word gets out of your deeds, you'll have an epithet, I'm positive." Thorin smiled, resting his chin atop Bilbo's golden curls.

Bilbo wrapped his arms around Thorin's waist tiredly, tucking his thumbs into Thorin's belt to keep them from falling to his side as he felt so miserably exhausted, even holding his arms around his Heartsong felt like a burden on his body.

"Bilbo Dragon Slayer?" Bilbo asked, and Thorin nodded. "Oh, but that doesn't quite suit a hobbit though, now does it?" He huffed, and felt the purring-chuckle once more.

"And you think 'Oakenshield' suits a dwarf?" He snorted, and Bilbo couldn't help but let out a chuckle himself.

"I've told you before…I think the name suits you perfectly. Oaks represent strength and bravery, nobility and honor…Thorin, the name is you." Bilbo insisted, nuzzling up into Thorin's neck, enjoying the warmth of the dwarf's skin on his cold, red, wind-kissed nose, and enjoying even more how the sudden chill of his skin made Thorin shiver.

"Yes…I accept that you believe me to be all of those things…just as you yourself did, in fact, slay a dragon." Thorin insisted, and Bilbo let out a playful groan of feigned disdain.

"Yes, but at least your name can be perceived as poetic! 'Dragon Slayer' is far too blunt. Too much to the point. Besides…all things considered, I don't think I need yet another name?"

"Your family name of Baggins honors your ancestry…Your middle of Sessile name honors your Lady. Lorembaron is a name that honors your gifts and abilities…but an epithet is a name that honors you. My cousin Dain has the epithet of 'Iron Foot'…he lost part of his leg in the Battle of Azanulbizar…Though you might think the name is a reminder of what he lost…it was given to him as a way for us to honor who he is."

"He…he's an Iron Foot?" Bilbo asked, raising an eyebrow, not quite following.

"He is selfless. He lost his leg…and in the process saved hundreds. His epithet is a reminder of not only his deeds…but who he is as a person. You think that Oakenshield suits me, because I am everything you listed…I accept that. I would love nothing more than for you to accept the name of Dragon Slayer…" Thorin smiled, one rough hand reaching up to cup Bilbo's chin, drawing his attention.

"And what, pray tell, could 'Dragon Slayer' ever mean if not a person who has slain a dragon?" Bilbo asked, his tone lighthearted as he felt so relaxed by Thorin's gentle voice and embrace as they swayed side by side.

"Someone who faces impossible odds and comes out victorious." Thorin spoke simply, as if it were obvious. "To our people…Iron Foot means selfless, Oakenshield means brave…and to me…Dragon Slayer means…Indomitable. Unbreakable. Unyielding and relentless…Can you accept that as poetic enough? You know I am not as good at words as you are…" Thorin spoke honestly, his smile quickly changing to a look of worry as he wiped away the tears that began falling from Bilbo's eyes.

"Bilbo…I…If my words offend you, I am sorry. I know that I should leave the word-crafting to you…I know…perhaps Ori could do a better job-"

"Stop talking…" Bilbo whispered as he stood on his toes and tilted his face up, pressing his lips to Thorin's to silence him.

It was a simple and chaste kiss, both of their lips chapped from the cold and weather, but it mattered not, as every kiss between them was always exactly what they needed in the moment.

"Is this your way of telling me I didn't choose my words poorly?" Thorin asked, both teasing and genuinely needing to make sure he understood, and Bilbo let out a short laugh, nodding.

"Your words…mean quite a bit. They didn't hurt my feelings in the slightest…Merely overwhelmed me. I don't see myself as anything you just described…but to know you see me as such things…Well, it is quite a nice feeling, I think…to have someone think such nice things about you…" The hobbit blushed, and Thorin nodded, understanding completely.

"Just as it warms my heart to hear you say such kind things about myself…" Thorin agreed. "I'm glad my choice of words was adequate for you…" He smirked, then paused, remembering why they were outside to begin with. "What does 'transmogrify' mean, exactly?" Thorin asked, remembering the odd word Bilbo had jotted down.

"Oh! It…it means for something to be altered in a rather…unusual way. Or…more so for something to be changed in a less than pleasant way. Maybe humorous…more likely grotesque." Bilbo explained simply, not following why Thorin was asking.

"Ah…and….why did you write it down? During a meeting about trade between our kingdoms?" Thorin asked next, and Bilbo blinked away his sudden embarrassment.

"I…well…I was trying to think of a good word to use to describe a transformation of sorts…" He sighed, and saw Thorin nod, urging him to continue. "It has nothing to do with trade, to be honest. Truly, I was just bored and distracted and…I began to realize just how much my hobbit sensibilities have waned. I've become…dare I say it…rather disrespectful." Bilbo explained, his voice straining as he dared utter what he saw himself become.

"In what way, shape, or form, have you become disrespectful? If you say something, anything about ridding the world of Smaug as somehow being the reason, I will be the one telling you to be quiet." Thorin spoke with a deadpan, praying his One didn't actually think that.

"Well…it may be a small part, but truly, I have become a terribly disrespectful hobbit indeed! Thorin…I am more than happy to sit in on any meeting you want me to go to…in any capacity, be it as 'Dragon Slayer' or simply as your friend…your One…" Bilbo blushed, feeling warm whenever he simply spoke the word aloud. "It was my main set of duties back in the Shire. I'd sit in on meetings as a secretary, I've told you this…a-and I also write detailed contracts as one of the heads of the Baggins family. I am perfectly suited for this position, thank you very much." Bilbo explained, crossing his arms over his chest with a huff.

"Then why are you so disrespectful, according to yourself?"

"Because, Thorin! Timeliness is so very important. Showing up on time and punctuality and all that is one of the most crucial ways of being polite and respectful…but even more than that is properly setting times and dates. Setting events and occasions up in such a way that allows others to be punctual…"

Thorin shook his head, searching Bilbo's eyes for an answer he seemed to be missing. "Speak plainly, Riddle Master, for I am very lost."

"Are…are things not moving too fast? Everything feels so sudden…As soon as I came to, everything has just…happened. Suddenly over half of Lake-Town is moving to Dale. Bard is a King, and Kili is married. And now, here we are, in a meeting of two kings…the first in nearly two centuries! I'm sorry, Thorin…it is simply…a lot. A lot very, very quickly. I feel as if I'm racing through everything…very important things. I…I want to just focus on one thing…at my own pace." He confessed to Thorin, and saw understanding in his Heartsong's eyes.

"It is a lot. It is very fast. And I am sorry you feel overwhelmed by it. I cannot tell you we will move slower…nor will we move in a hobbitly-manner. I will tell you, that you are free to focus on whatever this 'one thing' is, and to take it at your own pace. Need I remind you you slayed a dragon? You are allowed to do whatever it is you please. That, and you are my One. If anyone tries to argue with you, I am more than happy to be used as your excuse." Thorin smirked, and Bilbo knew that Thorin would quite like to be used as Bilbo's excuse in any capacity.

With red cheeks, Bilbo nodded dumbly as he took in Thorin's words. "Well…then, I should very much like to focus on that 'one thing' then…" Bilbo muttered under his breath, pulling Thorin back down for another kiss. "Making up for lost time does not count as moving too fast." Bilbo added as he cupped Thorin's cheeks, feeling his beard under his cold palms as he enjoyed the closeness.

"Am I the 'one thing'?" Thorin asked innocently, earning an eye roll from the hobbit, and a groan from Dwalin standing in the distance.

"Time's up ye' love birds. Meeting is back on." He called out to them, his voice filled with a playful annoyance.

"Alright, alright…Bilbo…would you like to sit out of the meeting? I'm sure she-elf…" He paused, and took a deep breath. "I'm sure Tauriel would appreciate your company." Thorin suggested, and grinned at the way Bilbo's eyes shone with gratitude before they parted ways.

#bagginshield #bilbo baggins #the hobbit #thorin oakenshield #thilbo #hobbit fanfic #bilbo x thorin #fanfiction #bilbo/thorin #thorin x bilbo #source for the text divider: cafekitsune

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