#make sure you eat the pea soup before it eats you

[stabby-apologist]

​Make sure you eat the pea soup before it eats you.

*literally the next scene*

Cornelius Fudge: “Pea soup?”

Harry Potter: “No, thank you.”

Lol

[stabby-apologist]

Stan Shunpike: “What you fall over for?”

Harry Potter: “Well, I didn’t do it on purpose.”

harry's sass is so iconic in the books. the movies did him so dirty

[0hcicero]

So I just started reading A Court of Thorns and Roses (audiobook), and am I the only one who is wondering if the author did any research into poor subsistence living or the lives of peasants? Because wow, I know Feyre’s family used to be rich, but if that was 8 years ago and y’all are poor as dirt now, somehow in the intervening period you might have learned:

- trap lines in the winter are far superior to active hunting. It burns less calories, you can use it with fish and land animals, and it will save you from frostbite bc instead of sitting in a blind for hours, you can go to your lines at certain times and head home, or drive animals toward your lines.

- buying flower seeds - or any garden seeds - is a suckers game when you’re poor. You only really need to buy seeds once!! Once you harvest, you let stuff ‘go to seed’ and then you collect it and store it for the winter, often trading seeds with your neighbours.

- they let things actively RUN OUT before doing anything about it. That’s absolutely buckwild if you’ve ever been poor — when you’re poor, you know how to make a meal stretch, and you DO IT.

- there is hunting, but no gathering?? This family has not stored any veg for winter, but neither do they go gather mushrooms, rosehips, roots, tubers, nuts, or even fucking bark?? What happened to their cottage garden?? Was it just flowers?! Were they that rich that they don’t understand that a garden produces food? Did they close their eyes as they walked past all their peasant neighbours and their gardens? Bc that’s maybe the wildest thing I’ve seen from both a historical and a ‘grew up so close to dirt poor you couldn’t tell the difference’ perspective!

- She left a whole ass Giant wolf carcass when her family is starving. Nah nah nah no that is the universe smiling on you when you’re subsistence! You will make a travois or somehow find a way to tie that to you and drag it along - that’s double the food, and possibly more money, because you could live off the wolf (which I assume does not taste great) and sell off some of the deer (which is delicious).

- she didn’t at least do a basic clean of her kill out in the woods?! She did not tan the hides?! Y’all, you do not want to be cleaning any kill on the kitchen table. Why? Because cleaning involves removing the intestines and stomach. That means shit and piss and food digestion in different stages, and the gases produced. You do that *outside*, typically at least close to where you made your kill, because you don’t want to have to have any…spills, and because it makes things a bit lighter to carry. Butchering? For sure do it on a table, but cleaning is an outdoor chore. Also, tanning a hide is not just skinning a creature! It’s scraping all the membranes off it, stretching and drying it, and curing the skin - sometimes with smoke, but often with a pretty gross solution (often including brain oil, and historically, I believe urine and/or feces, and other things with the right chemical components). It’s not a simple or quick task!

- soups, pottages, stews, with dried lentils, beans, or peas would have been the staple meals (depending on the climate and environment, but it feels fairly British thus far). Just having roasted venison (def not the best way to eat venison just from taste alone) would likely be a very very rare occurrence, because, as noted earlier, they’re so poor they would need to make it stretch. You would cure it or dry it or turn it into sausage. You would use it sparingly within a meal, not to serve as the whole meal.

- the market. If you were poor, you would likely be a stranger to spices, but not to salt. Salt is deeply necessary to survive in that period, as it’s one of the only ways of safely processing and storing meat with any longevity. And? If you got the money that they did while being as poor and as starving as they were? The first thing you would do — even if you were the most stupid rich person before then — is stock up your stores of dry goods! Flour, salt, honey, dried beans/peas/lentils, vegetables that store - onions, squashes, potatoes, root vegetables like carrots. It’s straight up Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs here - you will not give a shit about a new cloak before you give a shit about saying your hunger. They are said to be ‘starving’. Sorting out your survival comes before sorting out your fashion.

Anyways, this has been me for channel 4, reporting on anachronisms and misrepresentations in fantasy fiction. More news at 10.

[nuka-rockit]

BG3 Companions Cooking Headcanons P.1

Gale

canonically an enthusiastic cook. When spending his year of isloation in his tower after the breakup with Mystra, he had to find something to distract him from his heartbreak, sense of doom and research into the orb. So like many people stuck alone at home, he got into cooking. And because Gale is Gale – and he can never do anything at less than 120% - he got very good at it.

cooking is a way for him to ground himself. Its such a mundane, non-magical task that relaxes him (although he does use the occasional mage hand to help out). It reminds him of little Gale Dekarios, with his mum at the kitchen at home, long before he ever became Gale of Waterdeep.

hums when he cooks. He doesn't realize he's doing it until someone points it out. When they do, he gets flustered.

his favourite things to cook are recipes that take a while. Stews, slow roasts, anything that needs to simmer for a few hours at low temperature. He likes the way the smell of a nice warm meal fills the air, enhancing the anticipation of getting to indulge when it's done.

a very neat cook. He doesn't like messes, so he usually makes sure the utensils and dishes are clean by the time he goes to sleep. The simulacrum does the dishes usually, but he still checks them over just in case.

Karlach

not a great cook. She is the opposite of picky and will eat almost anything. When cooking herself this usually translates to "It's just burned on one side, it's still good to eat" or "C'mon, no one has ever died from a bit of crunchy potato. I think."

Loves the simple, grounded stuff. Fried bacon, mushy peas, buttery rolls, apple pie, a nice hot soup. The stuff you can get at taverns to wash down with a pint. She's seen the indulgent, lavish feasts of devils like Raphael or Mizora in the Hells, and she doesn't care for them. As long as it's warm, tasty and filling, its good enough for her.

Needs A LOT of food. The engine burns more than just fuel, it also sets her metabolism into overdrive, which means she gets hungry quickly, especially after a fight. She easly beats any of the other companions in the sheer volume of food she can consume in one sitting, to the astonishment (and even admiration) of the team.

Very open about her praises for the other companion's cooking. Considering her eating habits it may not say much about the quality of the food, but she is so sincere and enthusiastic about even the most mediocre of meals that even the companions that don't like cooking generally like cooking for her.

After one of the less edible meals she produced for the camp, Gale actually tries teaching her how to cook. It turns out she doesn't have the patience for things like chopping and peeling vegetables properly or evenly, or pays much attention to detail when it comes to spices (less is more in Karlach's eyes, which had interesting results when she got hold of the hot peppers), but she does have a very nifty hand at grilling and frying. After a while, her preferred meal to cook for the team is campfire barbequeue, and it is not just edible but tasty, to everyone's collective relief.

Lae'zel

Part of her training involved feeding herself in emergency situations, so she does know some basic cooking skills. She never really needed to use them before though and sees elaborate cooking as a waste of valuable time. As long as it's edible its good enough. The meals she cooks tend to be very spartan as a result.

She is very unfamiliar with the majority of Faerûnian food, which often leaves her at a loss at how to properly prepare certain ingredients. Of course she would never admit this and just makes a guess at how to cook things based on how close they look to an approximate Gith ingredient, with less than ideal results.

If (or rather, when) someone complains about her...unusual cooking, she will call them pampered and pretend it's exactly as she intended it to be. Even when she can barely choke down her creations herself. She has a well-trained poker face after all.

Eventually has to admit to herself she is not great at cooking in this plane, and since she is a perfectionist it bothers her immensely. It ends with her teaching herself he proper preparation times for a few dozen common Faerûnian foods as well as the most ideal way to prepare them. She doesn't become a master chef, but her cooking eventually becomes more consistent and a lot more edible.

won't admit it, but every now and then she gets homesick for Gith food. The meals with the other companions aren't bad (mostly), but they're a constant reminder of how alien the Sword Coast is to her – and it turn, how alien she is to it.

[makeitmingi]

The Cat and Dog Game [Chapter 20]

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Comedy

Pairing: Yunho x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Chef!Reader, RestaurantOwner!Yunho, MaitreD!Hongjoong, Waiter!Yeosang, Waiter!San, Waiter!Mingi, SousChef!Seonghwa, SousChef!Wooyoung, PrepChef!Jongho

Summary: Yunho's dream was to open and run his own restaurant. But he doesn't know anything when it comes to cooking. Until you came along and accepted the job, bringing with you a small crew. How will the black cat tame the energetic golden retriever?

Word count: 3.4K

"Say hi to your parents for me." You smiled, leaning against the door. You were still wrapped up in the blanket you dragged from your bed to walk Seonghwa out.

"You can come with me, you know? They did ask you to tag along." Seonghwa chuckled.

"I know, your parents have always loved me more. But you barely spend any time with your parents now, Hwa. I'm sure they miss you. Just go and... be their son. Don't worry about me." You giggled. Seonghwa rolled his eyes.

"I am still their son, I've never denied it." He scoffed.

"I know that. Tell them I'll be there next time." You said. Seonghwa nodded, reaching to to kiss your forehead and hug you before he left your apartment.

Mr and Mrs Park were there for you through it all. They were there for you after your mum passed away, they looked after you like their own daughter whenever you left home because of your stepmother.

"Oh, my soup!" You ditched the blanket by the doorway and went to the kitchen to check on your soup.

"Just what I need." You took home some seolleongtang from yesterday, wanting to add sliced beef and rice cakes for your lunch.

'Psst. Is your bodyguard gone yet? - Woo'

'You know I can't actually hear you through text, right Woo? And if you're referring to Seonghwa, yes. He just left to meet his parents not too long ago. - (y/n)'

'Perfect! I'll be there in 30 minutes, I'm going to buy some snacks first. - Woo'

You laughed, shaking your head as you put your phone aside. Reaching into your fridge, you took out more stock to prepare a portion of food for Wooyoung too. Wooyoung and Jongho both dropped by on their own from time to time to hang out with you, just like Seonghwa did.

"I'm here, jagiya!" Wooyoung announced loudly. You turned around to see him folding the blanket you left at the doorway earlier, draping it over his arm.

"Hi, Woo. And thanks." You smiled softly. He nodded and went to return the blanket to your room.

"What are you making?" He came, peering over your shoulder.

"Yesterday's seolleongtang. I just added some meat, rice cake and napa." You said, stirring the pot. He tugged you to him to hug you tightly, his arms circling your waist and chin on your shoulder.

"My jagi~" He giggled, giving you a loud kiss on the cheek before pulling away.

"You always do that to make Seonghwa angry." You snorted, turning the flame down for the soup to let it simmer.

"No. He's just jealous he can't do it." He rolled his eyes. When the soup was done, Wooyoung portioned the food out and you both sat at your counter to eat together. You topped your soup with red pepper flakes and spring onions.

"Bowl of comfort right here." He pointed at the bowl with his spoon as he chewed his food.

"That's what you say about post-Christmas split pea and ham soup." You laughed. After Christmas ham was eaten, you usually kept the bone to make pea and ham soup. It was practically a tradition.

"There are a lot of things that can bring you comfort, (y/n)." He pinched your cheek, making you wince.

"These fritters are good." You said, eating on a gimmari that Wooyoung bought.

"It's from the market near my place. A new stall run by an older couple but the food is always good. Crisp and fresh." He informed. You nodded, taking a vegetable fritter to eat.

"So, what did you think about yesterday?" Wooyoung casually asked.

"It went well. It was nice cooking at such a magnitude again, you know, cooking fancier dishes and stuff. With our small team, I don't think I can do it every night along with the morning bakes. But maybe we should do themed nights then. I'll suggest it to Yunho." You said as you leaned on one hand.

"That's nice and all. But I meant more... meeting the families." Wooyoung threaded lightly.

"I'm fine, Woo. I'm not gonna start spiralling just because I saw happy families. Was I envious? Yes, I'll admit that I was. But that's just how it is, nothing I can do about it." You shrugged.

"Okay, I just want to make sure you're okay. I am here for you." He slid his hand over yours.

"You know, I told Hwa that before we left, Yunho's mother hugged me. It... felt nice... In a familiar sort of way." You laughed bitterly.

"How so?"

"It's different from the hugs your mother, Mrs Park and Mrs Choi gives me. I may be going crazy but it just reminded me of my mother." You sighed.

"No, you're not going crazy, jagi. I understand. Like how my mother's hugs will always feel and be different. I get it." He giggled.

After the meal, you and Wooyoung did the dishes and cleaned up before sitting on the couch together. There was a random show playing on the television but it was mostly background sounds used to fill the space.

"Tell me something." Wooyoung started, taking a handful of popcorn and eating it from his hand. You hummed, fiddling with a stray string on your shared blanket.

"The dish you made yesterday. You chose galbi jjim because it's Yunho's favourite, right?" He asked. You remained silent.

"What's up with that? You and Yunho." He probed further.

"I... I don't know..." You shrugged with a soft sigh. Wooyoung was someone who was very in touch with his emotions while you were not. Maybe he could help you make sense of things.

"I need you to pick my brain." You confessed a little too honestly. Wooyoung's eyes widened.

"Jagi, I hope you don't mean that literally. Because you know I love you but brains..." He laughed.

"Be serious! I need you to help me understand things." You groaned and kicked his thigh, which was next to your food. He yelped and pouted at you.

"Try me. Tell me everything." Wooyoung encouraged. You took a while to try and form your thoughts into coherant sentences. He was patient though, Wooyoung always was, never rushing you or sarcastically commenting. You sifted through all your feelings in each situation you've been in with Yunho.

"How do you know if you like someone? Romantically. Rather than just, enjoying their company as a friend." You asked.

"Hmm. Well, what else do you feel when you're in that person's company? Yes, enjoying their company is one thing. Do you feel anything else?" He asked back.

"I like it, I don't want our time to end. But don't you feel that way with friends too?"

"Let's put it this way. When you are with Yunho, do you feel it's different than when you're with us?" He explained.

"Yeah. I feel like a different person entirely, more at peace. Like I want to get to know more about him and at the same time, I want to share more about myself. Which is rare." You said.

"There you go." Wooyoung nodded.

"I always thought it was just because you guys are noisy and chaotic, that's why Yunho brings me peace." You blinked.

"Yah." Wooyoung flicked a popcorn at you. You snickered, picking up the popcorn to pop into your mouth. Wooyoung's words sunk in, did you like Yunho? Romantically? It almost scared you at the thought of loving someone.

"Hey. Don't get lost in there." Wooyoung's hand slipped over yours, breaking your internal spiralling. You looked up and he sent you a gentle smile. He just knew you too well, all the boys did.

"What should I do? I'm scared of feeling this way, Woo." You asked in a whisper.

"What do you want to do? Do you want to tell him?" He asked.

"And then what?"

"Silly girl. If he likes you back, then you can try going on dates together. You don't have to get into a relationship right away. Try spending more time together." He chuckled.

"I know with everything you've been through, you are scared of your feelings. But I see how you are with him. He makes you happy." He smiled.

"I'm broken, you know? Yunho doesn't even know anything about my past. It feels wrong to hide it from him. But I'm afraid that he finds out and it scares him. He looks at life so beautifully while I can barely put myself together." You forced a bitter smile as tears started to form. Wooyoung leaned forward, cupping your cheeks.

"Hey, hey. Don't you say that about yourself. You're not broken, jagi. You're the toughest person I know. Life put you through the wringer and yet, here you are." His thumbs stroked your cheeks.

"It's all because of Hwa... And you... And Jongho." You shook your head, tears streaming down your face.

"No. It's because of you. You pulled yourself out of there. I'm sure Yunho can see what a beautiful person you are. Inside and out." Wooyoung said firmly.

"I love you, jagi." Wooyoung hugged you to his chest.

"You don't have to tell him everything at the moment. When your heart is ready." He stroked the back of your head.

"Thank you, Woo." You murmured, pressing your face into the material of his shirt.

"Whatever you decide to do, I'll always be here for you, jagiya. I just hate seeing you hurt." He promised, planting an affectionate kiss to the top of your head.

When Seonghwa came back from meeting his parents, he wasn't surprised to see Wooyoung's platform shoes there. Wooyoung and Jongho always dropped by to hang with you. He found the couch empty, only the blanket there.

"Sweetheart? Wooyoung?" Seonghwa called out but there was no reply. He sighed and folded the blanket, setting it aside.

"(y/n)?" He peeked into your room to see you and Wooyoung asleep. Your upper body was resting on Wooyoung's chest, the boy's arms wrapped around your shoulders.

With a soft smile, Seonghwa adjusted the blanket over you and Wooyoung before exiting the room.

"What should I cook?" He checked the time and went to the kitchen. He dug through your fridge to see what you had to cook for dinner.

*BZZZZ*

Seonghwa checked his phone and was surprised to see the message that popped up on his screen. After typing a quick reply, he put the ingredients back into the fridge and went to wear his shoes. Just like that, he walked out of the house again even though he had only been back for 15 minutes.

"Hey." Seonghwa greeted as he entered the cafe, seeing the person who sent him the text message sit at a corner booth.

"Hey, hyung. Thanks for meeting me so suddenly. It was probably surprising for you to receive my message out of the blue." The person said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Not at all." Seonghwa cleared his throat before sitting on the opposite bench.

"Berry smoothie, please." He raised his hand to order with the waiter. Seonghwa glanced at the man, who kept his head lowered.

"Yunho, what's wrong?" Seonghwa tilted his head. Yunho cast his eyes upwards to look at Seonghwa, like a puppy that got caught doing something bad.

"I'm sorry, hyung. I... I don't know how to say this... I thought about it the whole night until this morning and I don't know how to go about doing this but my mind told me I should be apologising to you first but I didn't know how-"

"Woah, woah. Slow down. What are you talking about? Why are you apologising to me?" Seonghwa frowned.

"I... I like (y/n)." Yunho confessed.

"Okay... I think I could tell that you like her... But why are you apologising to me? It's not like she's my property or my daughter." Seonghwa was still confused.

"Isn't it against the bro code to go after your friend's girl?" Yunho asked with a wince.

"Is that what you thought? (y/n)'s not my girl... I am extremely protective of her but girlfriend? No." Seonghwa shook his head.

"Wait, you're n-not together? But I thought..." Yunho's eyes widened. Had he misunderstood the whole thing? This whole time, he assumed things and they turned out to be wrong.

"We're not dating. But like I said, I am extremely protective of her. (y/n)'s bubble is fragile and I protect it vigilantly."

"Did something happen?" Yunho asked.

"It's not my story to tell. I don't oppose of you wanting to start a relationship with her. Frankly, even if I did oppose it, I have no right. (y/n)'s her own person and she makes her own decisions. Just don't hurt her, Yunho. She puts her heart and soul into everything. If you can't do the same, leave her alone." Seonghwa warned.

"No, no. I promise I won't hurt her. I can't even fathom the thought of her being hurt." Yunho said earnestly. Every time Yunho was with you, he just wanted to hug you and take care of you.

"Do you think she likes me back?" Yunho asked. Seonghwa knew you best and spent the most time with you. He would know.

"Not for me to say. I don't want to get your hopes up or give you any expectations. That's a conversation you should have with her." Seonghwa replied.

"All I can say is, be patient with her." Seonghwa advised with a kind smile. Just then, his phone rang.

"Hey, Wooyoung... You're cooking alone?... Oh, she's still sleeping..." Yunho sipped his drink, assuming 'she' was you.

"I actually ran into Yunho... Mmm, we're just having drinks... I'll ask him." Yunho straightened up when he saw Seonghwa pulled the phone away from his ear.

"Would you like to join us for dinner?" Seonghwa asked.

"Oh but I wouldn't want to intrude-"

"Yeah, he'll be there. I'll come with him." The older said and hung up. Yunho's eyes widened, unable to say anything. Seonghwa chuckled and tucked his phone back as they finished their drinks. Yunho insisted on paying after asking Seonghwa out.

"Hyung, what if I can't act like myself around her? I don't want to be accidentally blurting things out. It already almost happened once." Yunho panicked slightly.

"You'll be fine. It's just dinner. Besides, Wooyoung and I will be there." He laughed, patting the taller on the shoulder.

"You know her address, right?" Seonghwa stood at his car door. Yunho nodded and the two split up to drive back to your house.

When the two entered the house, Yunho could immediately smell something delicious being cooked in the kitchen. Wooyoung hummed as he moved around the kitchen.

"Hey, you two." Wooyoung greeted.

"Hey." Seonghwa dropped his coat on the couch while Yunho bowed politely and draping his coat over the bar chair.

"She's still asleep, hyung." Wooyoung informed turning around to face the stove. Seonghwa nodded and moved down the hall to where Yunho presumed your room was.

"Don't stand around. Sit, sit. Make yourself at home. Want something to drink?" Wooyoung waved at Yunho. It was amazing how Wooyoung and Seonghwa, probably Jongho too, treated this house like their own house. They were so comfortable here, they knew where everything was.

"Ah!" Yunho jumped when he heard Seonghwa yell. Wooyoung didn't even flinch, cooking the food like it was normal.

"Is... everything okay?" Yunho asked.

"Oh yeah. (y/n)'s probably just trying to kill him for waking her up. Don't worry about it." Wooyoung shrugged. Seonghwa emerged from the room first.

"She's up." Seonghwa announced. Wooyoung opened his mouth to say something.

"Oh my god!" You yelped and the sound of your rapid footsteps were heard, followed by the sound of your room door slamming close.

"PARK SEONGHWA!" You shouted from your room. Yunho smiled to himself, he found you so adorable.

"I was just going to ask if you preempted her about Yunho being here... Guess not..." Wooyoung snickered. Seonghwa sighed and went back to the room.

"What is Yunho doing here?! Why didn't you tell me?" You hissed the moment Seonghwa came in. You were getting presentable clothes to change to considering you were wearing one of Jongho's shirts and really old, torn home shorts.

"I ran into him and invited him for dinner. I couldn't tell you because you were strangling me for waking you up." Seonghwa rolled his eyes.

"Oh my gosh." You slapped your forehead.

"What?" Seonghwa blinked. You shook your head with a sigh and went to your bathroom, making sure you brushed your teeth and looked presentable enough.

"Sorry about that. Hi, Yunho." You greeted as you came out. Yunho got off the bar stool.

"Hi, (y/n). Not need to apologise. Sorry for intruding." He smiled kindly. You tied your hair up into a bun and entered the kitchen area.

"Smells good, Woo. What are you making?" You asked Wooyoung, opening the fridge and pouring yourself a glass of cold brew coffee.

"Whatever you had in the fridge. So minced mushroom and cabbage stir fry, sweet and sour pork collar strips, bavette steak and side dishes." He informed. You nodded with a hum.

"I'll do the bavette." You said, putting your coffee aside and grabbing your apron. Seonghwa took whatever kale you had left to make a lemony kale salad with feta cheese and chopped cashews. Yunho volunteered to help Seonghwa with the salad since it seemed like the item he would screw up the least on.

"Sorry, it'll be scraps. We usually just eat whatever is in my fridge with rice." You apologised to Yunho as you stood next to him, seasoning the steak while he crumbled the feta.

"Not at all, it's fun. I look forward to see what dishes you come up with." Yunho laughed.

"You massage the kale like this to break it down. Makes it easier to chew and digest." Seonghwa explained to Yunho.

"Ooh, that's interesting. I never knew you could do that." Yunho said, amazed. Standing at the stove, you couldn't help but snicker at Yunho's pure amazement.

"Are you laughing at me?" Yunho turned around with a pout.

"Not at all." You shook your head innocently. You heated up the cast iron and cooked the steak. Yunho helped to cook the rice to have with the other dishes while Seonghwa and you took out all the side dishes from your fridge.

"Set a timer for 5 minutes." You said to your phone to set a timer, letting the bavette steak rest on the cutting board before you could cut into it.

"Help me stir the cabbage." Wooyoung requested. Seonghwa grabbed the cooking spoon to stir the cabbage as it wilted further.

"I'll slice the steak." You grabbed your knife to slice it. With Seonghwa and Wooyoung by the stove, Yunho stood by you, silently watching you slice the meat in a 'fancy, angled' way.

"Even this feels elaborate..." Yunho chuckled rubbing the back of his neck.

"Is it? We're just clearing the fridge. How do you clear your fridge then?" You laughed.

"Ramen?" He tilted his head. The two of you shared a laugh at your differences. When all the food was ready, the 4 of you grabbed a plate to scoop the food like cafeteria style before sitting in the living room together to eat. It was informal but not awkward with small conversations here and there.

"I'll bring the recycling down." You told Seonghwa and Wooyoung, who were drying the dishes Yunho just washed. Yunho grabbed his coat, ready to head down.

"Thank you for cooking." Yunho bid the two goodbye.

"See you tomorrow." They waved back. You and Yunho headed downstairs. Yunho followed you to put the recycling in the corner before you were to split ways.

"Thanks for having me." Yunho smiled softly.

"No need to thank. You can come over any time." You chuckled, a small smile on your face.

"Goodnight." He wished. You hummed to express the same sentiment. As you were about to turn back to head into the lift lobby, Yunho grabbed your wrist to stop you. You faced him in confusion.

"Yunho, what-"

"(y/n), I like you. And if you would give me a chance, I would like to take you out for dinner."

~

Series masterlist

[shisekibo]

[Story Translation] Chapter Four - Three Peas in a Pod [Episode Two: Part Four]

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- The Path to the Old Tower -

We were taking a break in our journey towards the Old Tower to allow the horses to rest.

woosh

Muu:

“Achoo...! It really is cold up here..."

Muu:

“Are you okay, Master?"

Choices:

“I'm a bit chilly but I'll be fine..."

crunch crunch

Bastien:

“Master. Please use this blanket..."

Choices:

“Thank you, Bastien."

Bastien:

“I brought some soup, too. It should help you warm yourself up."

Muu:

“sniff sniff... That smells good!"

Bastien:

“I brought some for you too, Muu. It isn't too strong and all the ingredients should be fine for cats."

Muu:

“Thank you so much, Mr. Bastien!"

Muu:

“You're so kind..."

Bastien:

“You're overreacting, Muu."

Choices:

“You seem brighter than usual, Bastien."

Bastien:

“Hmm...? I do?"

Bastien:

“I don't know. I don't feel like I've changed at all..."

Muu:

“I see it! You're more expressive than before!"

Bastien:

“Really? Well, if you all think that, it must be true."

Choices:

“Did something change?"

Bastien:

“Hmm... I suppose so..."

Bastien:

“I have changed a bit."

Bastien:

“Before, I was scared of getting too close to people. I was sure they'd get hurt because of me."

Bastien:

“But... Ever since I almost Demonized, I don't think like that anymore."

Choices:

“I see."

Bastien:

“I'm still weak... But that doesn't mean that I'll hurt my friends."

Bastien:

“If anything, I need friends to help me become stronger."

Bastien:

“Having something I want to protect drives me to become stronger. That's how I think now."

Choices:

“I think that's wonderful."

Bastien:

“Thank you."

Bastien:

“But you're the one who helped me realise that. I'm really grateful..."

Choices:

“Am I one of your friends too?"

Bastien:

“Hmm... Well... Mmm..."

Choices:

“I'm not?"

Bastien:

“You're something else... I don't know how to explain it."

Bastien:

“You're more than just a friend."

Bastien:

“I don't even know how to explain it myself, but you're more important than that."

Choices:

“Th-thank you..."

Bastien:

“I'll get stronger if it means I can protect you. I'll get become more and more skilled as a swordsman."

Choices:

“Good luck, Bastien."

crunch crunch

Lono:

“Master! I got some pipin' hot soup for ya---"

Lono:

“Oh, you're already eating."

Bastien:

“I brought some over first."

Lono:

“Really? Tsk. I wanted to be first..."

Choices:

“Thank you, Lono."

crunch crunch

Yuhan:

“Hello, Master of the Devil Butlers. Mr. Lono. Mr. Bastien."

Bastien:

“Yuhan..."

Yuhan:

“I wasn't able to say what I wanted earlier. I saw the three of you talking and was already making my way over here before I realised what I was doing."

Muu:

“I'm here too!"

Yuhan:

“You're the talking cat..."

Yuhan:

“Muu, wasn't it? I know all about you."

Yuhan:

“My name is Shinonome Yuhan."

Yuhan:

“It's nice to meet you, Muu."

Muu:

“It's nice to meet you too!"

Bastien:

“Hey, Yuhan."

Yuhan:

“Yes, what is it, Mr. Bastien?"

Bastien:

“I don't feel right hearing you speak like that."

Choices:

“What do you mean?"

Bastien:

“Yuhan. You've changed."

Choices:

“Now that you mention it..."

Lono:

“You sound a bit more formal than before."

Lono:

“I swear you weren't callin' us mister like that last time."

Yuhan:

“You're right..."

Yuhan:

“I was rather rude last time we met, even though it was only our first meeting. I apologise for my attitude."

Yuhan:

“I was working alone with you all and wanted to fit in as fast as possible, so that you wouldn't put up your guard against me."

Yuhan:

“I pretended to me much friendlier and sociable that I usually am..."

Yuhan:

“I knew you'd be wary of me, as a member of the Sardeis Family."

Bastien:

“So that's why."

Lono:

“You're right, though. You fit right in."

Bastien:

“That's because you're never suspicious of anything. I wasn't so easily decieved."

Lono:

“The hell d'you say...?"

Choices:

“Please don't fight."

Lono:

“Master..."

Bastien:

“I'm sorry about Lono."

Yuhan:

“Haha... You really do get along well. I'm rather jealous. I look forward to working with you all."

Yuhan:

“I know it might be a bit late for this..."

Yuhan:

“But I'll continue to address you more formally from now on. Mr. Lono, Mr. Bastien."

Yuhan:

“I really do deeply respect you."

Lono:

“I don't really care about stuff like that. Call me whatever you want."

Bastien:

“Respect is very important to swordsmen. I appreciate it."

Yuhan:

“Thank you both."

Muu:

“How come I'm just Muu then?"

Yuhan:

“Because you're too cute for that."

Muu:

“Hehehe... Mr. Yuhan called me cute."

Choices:

(Muu doesn't care as long as it's a compliment, huh?)

Yuhan:

“Oh, that's right. I mustn't forget."

Yuhan:

“Mr. Lono. I know it's quite late..."

Yuhan held out a small vial in Lono's direction.

Lono:

“Huh? What's this?"

Yuhan:

“It's a lotion from the East. It should help your wounds heal and prevent lasting scars."

Yuhan:

“You were hurt because of my family's plotting."

Yuhan:

“So I want you to use this. If you don't mind."

Lono:

“T-thanks..."

Lono:

“Ugh! There's a real stench to this! It stinks..."

Muu:

“My nose is burning!"

Choices:

“That's definitely quite a smell..."

Yuhan:

“The smell isn't great but it works better than anything."

Bastien:

“I remember this smell from when I was younger..."

Yuhan:

“You know this lotion, Mr. Bastien?"

Bastien:

“Yes. I was actually born in the East."

Bastien:

“I used to use this whenever I got hurt."

Yuhan:

“Really? I had no idea!"

Yuhan:

“I feel closer to you already."

Yuhan:

“Please come visit when you have the chance. You'll be my guest."

Bastien:

“Yes. I will."

Yuhan:

“I'll treat you to the best knife-cut noodles."

Lono:

“Hm? Knife-cut noodles?"

Yuhan:

“What's wrong, Mr. Lono?"

Bastien:

“Lono loves knife-cut noodles."

Yuhan:

“Really? I'm happy to hear that..."

Yuhan:

“I know a really good place. Please, you must come too."

Lono:

“Yeah! I can't wait!"

Bastien:

“I'm going to get an extra large."

The three of them began to chat excitedly.

They were close in age and had a lot in common.

Muu:

“They're really like three peas in a pod."

Choices:

“It looks like they're getting along well." "This is good..."

crunch crunch

Haures:

“Hm..."

Muu:

“Oh! Mr. Haures."

Muu:

“Should we go talk to him, Master?"

Choices:

“Yes, let's."

We left Lono and the others to their conversation...

And made our way over to Haures.

[grasshopperdoingdogpaddle]

What's one reoccurring motif in your fics that you like using a lot, and why?

There are a lot I can think of, like the economy of "favors" that Chase and Omi hide behind, trust and trust issues, how their martial arts as an extensions of themselves are so similar, repeating cycles, how destiny itself seems to be intent to both always bring them together but still always keep them just a bit too far apart...

But those are all motifs you get from canon itself, Chase and Omi already have a lot of layered theming in the show itself.

But a really fun one that I've used a few times in my fics and that I'd like to use more often is Food! Especially food as a metaphor for love.

It's a neat motif to write, fun to describe, and it's something that I think distills a lot about Omi and Chase's relationship to each other!

Chase is introduced in relation to his trademark food, Lao Mang Lone, and it's an understandably huge part of his character.

The soup was the start of this path for him and is an affirmation of this path. It's the only thing holding him together in some ways. It's apparently become his own personal blend distinct from the one he initially had, both because Chase wants to distinguish and distance himself from Hannibal and because Hannibal's version didn't seem particularly appetizing. He claims to always drink it before victory (which seemed to just be a false boast to provoke the monks, but still).

Omi and Hannibal are narratively Chase's two biggest relationships (at least the ones we see with the most focus and screentime-- his Guan and Dashi is revealed in bits and pieces).

Those two are diametrically opposed in a lot of ways, but one small one is in how Hannibal made Chase Lao Mang Lone to "poison" him, and Omi made Chase pea soup in hopes of "saving" him. A misguided plan from both of them just because of who Chase is at his core, but Hannibal and Omi's plans are flawed for very different reasons.

Chase and Omi are all about these little forms of love, these little shared moments, their pride in their similarities, their shared culture and interests, these subtle gestures to show they're thinking of each other, these hands extended in offering, these unspoken words in between their doublespeak.

And food is a really good medium for all of that!

And there's also the fact that Chase and Omi both seem to enjoy cooking!

And eating, of course.

And with the Chase's spread was arranged and set out this time when he was expecting Omi's company, it gives the impression that he's trying to make Omi feel almost like an invited dinner guest who's free to join him. Compared to the previous episode when he brought Jack over in Dangerous Minds, there's so much more food set out, and Chase is smiling and sitting opposite the entrance he had the tigers guide Omi through. So it feels like cooking for each other is something they already want to do.

The things that the Food as a Love Language motif embodies fit them so well!

Wanting to learn memorize everything about the other person, including things as small as preferences and favorites. Worrying about another person and wanting to make sure they're getting what they need, like nutrients in a proper meal. Wanting to make something from scratch together with another person. Wanting an excuse to spend time together. Wanting to show that they were on your mind. Wanting to share a part of yourself and show off your skill.

[edgessunflower]

Oral surgery

Pairing: Christian Cage x Fem reader x Trish Stratus

Description: You have Oral surgery and both your partners take care over the next week

Tears flowed down your face at the prick of the needle in your arm seeing Christian in the doorway of the room as you count from ten to one making it to four before you were out from the anesthesia. You sit up on the bed with gauze in your mouth as you come to from the anesthesia before you were in a wheelchair and taken to the car where christian placed you in the car where you listened to music and sleep on and off lightly squealing when he hands you a milkshake which made him laugh before the two of you were home smiling big when you see Trish on the front porch leading to you tucked in bed snuggling with trish after finishing the milkshake and eating soup, christian smiles seeing you asleep in his arms as trish runs her hand over your back under your shirt knowing how it helped you sleep better. An hour later you woke up to trish making steak with peas and mashed potatoes making sure to cut your steak up to where you wouldn't need to chew a lot while you all watched Dusk to dawn, you slowly felt the anesthesia wear off as you asked them to help you shower leading to you sandwiched between them in a bubble bath with trish washing your hair and christian washing your body head to toe before they dried you off leading to you wrapped in a blanket sitting in bed wearing shorts and one of christian's shirts as you all watched episodes of Hell Kitchen's for the night until all of you were snuggled up and asleep. The next week you slept quite a bit in between eating on soups, soaked crackers, and pieces of bread while drinking on tea, water, and apple juice until your mouth was fully healed and they knew it was when they found you going to town on a corn on the cob at a cookout with your shared friends, two years later you and trish did the same thing when christian had to have an oral surgery of his own for an infected tooth that had been causing him a lot of pain but boy the two of you couldn't help but laugh at him on anesthesia losing his mind as you recorded it until he fell asleep after getting home leading to him being like a little kid who was sick until two weeks later when he was better and all of you back on the road together.

[bruhstation]

I'm interested in what the trains in your humanization prefer to eat (What if Henry loves apple charlottes?)

yes!!! eating is one of life’s biggest joys! always love talking and learning about food and watching people cook and eat and express their happiness, so this was a fun one to answer.

thomas a. billington: thomas needs something to chew or suckle on in the break room. think of any candy that your grandma would store on her detailed glass bowl. tootsie rolls, werther’s hard caramel candy, jolly ranchers… you get it. he doesn’t have any particulars when it comes to filling dishes and most of his diet consist of snacks and candies hence his thinner and shorter build.

edward pettigrew: he loves a good hot black tea with a side of rich tea biscuits or scones. he’s the guy who knows too much about tea. stomach ache? ginger tea. sleep aid? chamomile’s the way. for the more filling dishes, edward prefers light savory dishes with feta cheese involved. he’s really fond of fërgesë from his home country, but there’s no place on sodor that could make a mean one, so he settles with making it at his own home.

henry stanier: sliced apples! when he’s in a good mood, he’d shape them into little bunnies. he likes anything savory with a strong taste too, like his mother’s curry. henry loves a full course, hearty meal that tastes and feels good, and growing up, he’s always had a large appetite (fast metabolism). henry doesn’t like anything greasy or deep fried because it’ll make his stomach acid flare up. I had to look up what apple charlottes is, and yeah, I can tell you that henry would love it.

gordon j. gresley: gordon has a sweet tooth but he’s self conscious about it and has an image to uphold so he’ll tell anyone who’s making him coffee to make it black (he adds a packet of cream and sugar when nobody’s seeing) without anything added (his friends see right through him). his favorite dessert is orange float with a big scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. gordon also likes food that is usually eaten together with friends or family (something something lazy susan) like pork roast or kway teow or thick beef stew with mashed potatoes. big portions are necessary!

james a. hughes: sweet margarita is james’ favorite drink to have during outings with his friends. he also loves a good french onion soup, especially paired with croutons (do not make them too hard or he’ll riot!!). speaking of croutons, james loves fondue and he always fights over it with thomas. really, any food that looks good and makes him look well-off would be on his favorites list (please, james, why does most of these dishes involve alcohol in one way or another). he also likes sweet danish pastries.

percival “percy” avonside: he’s a simple man when it comes to food he likes. sandwiches are the way to go! carbohydrates, proteins, the tasty stuff — it’s all there! eggs benedict (he puts another english muffin on top so the sauce won't spill everywhere) is his most favorite since it makes him feel special and fancy. percy also loves good coffee, usually mixed with condensed milk or mocha, since he delivers the night mail train.

tobias “toby” holden: tiramisu is his favorite dessert and he prefers it made with more coffee content. he has helped out henrietta many times with making it to the point he’s has the process memorized. for savory dishes, he loves some good lasagna with extra beef content in the sauce. it’s gotta drench. really, toby loves his layered food huh

montague “duck” collett: he’s not picky when it comes to food given to him, so he just eats what any average joe would eat (eggs on toast for breakfast, sandwich for lunch, sausage with potatoes and peas for dinner). normal person food. duck makes sure he has his meal three times a day and follows the motto; “eat before you’re hungry, stop before you’re full.” also diesel made mango panna cotta once for him as a desperate token of apology and duck fell in love with it.

donald and douglas dunalastair: like thomas, they don’t really have much preference for filling meals. dessert, though? now that’s the stuff. donald loves cranachan so SO much he wishes he could eat it every day. douglas likes candies more instead of softer, silkier desserts, like black licorice or peppermint candy. they also eat only twice a day since they get full super quickly. amazing how so much strength for shoveling snow is stored behind their lanky bodies. they also drink irn bru

oliver t. swindon: oliver loves shepherd's pie because it’s practical. everything he needs is right there, fitting for someone who doesn’t like complicated things. as for the sweet stuff… even after forgetting some of his memories after his rescue, oliver remembers the feeling and taste of halo-halo on his tongue clearly, something he missed dearly.

giovanni vin diesel: diesel loves bruschetta. he puts some pepper flakes on top for that spice kick. he also loves sfincione, specifically the way his family would make it, but, like edward, nobody on sodor knows how to cook a decent one (too much sauce, too thick of a bread, or too soggy) which makes him a bit sad. diesel’s kind of picky when it comes to the meals he can consider “favorite” because he believes he’s the most qualified in the culinary field on sodor due to his upbringing.

mavis hawthorne: a slice of blackforest cake always makes her heart sing. not too heavy on the whipped cream, though, because she doesn’t like her desserts too sweet. she also likes baumkuchen. whenever toby cooks lasagna, he’d make another portion to give to mavis, which quickly became her favorite and something she looks forward to during lunch breaks.

rebecca nassif: rebecca likes snacking a lot. she finds joy in eating! she grew up surrounded by meals. like diesel, because of her upbringing, she’s always been an enthusiast of not only food, but culinary arts as a whole. she loves cold desserts that usually remind her of her old neighborhood like this pistachio kulfi that she would made when she was younger. rebecca also missed having knafeh and mafruka since moving to sodor (it’s been like... a week.)

nia e. wanjala: whenever nia feels like treating herself to something good, she’d make her own version of the gatsby sandwich at her house. she’s especially keen on the french fries and enjoys extra hot sauce with it. it’d take two meal times for her to finish it all. lately, nia’s also been enjoying pastries like chocolate muffins and bombolone (chocolate fillings are her favorite).

lady: as part of her mission to understand humanity and their intrapersonal relationships, lady developed an affinity to eating. she’d eat anything as long as it’s acceptable by human standards even though she doesn’t have to. lady wants to understand that people eat not only to survive but as a way to show their love and culture. isn’t the greatest blessing to be bestowed upon living things the ability to consume to their heart’s content? does her lack of mortal needs indicate her lack of personal desire? anyways her favorite foods are fish and chips with sweet mayonnaise on the side and soft serve vanilla ice cream.

diesel 10: his go-to is black coffee mixed with red bull (added with some other weird concoction if he feels like it). some scrambled eggs with a dash of hot sauce for breakfast. some fried bacon if he has some self respect for the day. some dried sardines if he wants to feel miserable. some baklava with extra syrup and pistachio if he wants to treat himself because the sound of the crunch eases his stress

[saywhatjessie]

Pre-Madonna

Day sixteen of the Advent calendar! Using this list. Day 16: Road Trip Fandom: Ted Lasso - Pairing: RoyJamie 1.9k[Ao3]

Roy would never do something as undignified as engage in a slap fight over who can control the aux cord on a road trip. Which is why he declared in no uncertain terms that Jamie was not to touch the music when they drive up to Manchester.

Jamie snorted. “I don’t think you want to play this game with me, grandad.”

“It’s not a game – it’s an executive order. I’m not listening to whatever club beat garbage you listen to for four fucking hours.”

Jamie looked back at him, offended. “‘club beat garbage’? Do you not know what I listen to?”

“Sure I do! You put it on in the kitchen when I’m making breakfast.”

“That’s not my music! That’s your ancient radio! There’s not even an aux port on that thing. That’s just BBC1!”

Roy turned to look at him incredulously. “But you always know all the words!”

“Yeah, because I’m a hip young lad who has a general lust for life!” Jamie complained. “I know a lot of songs! That doesn’t mean that’s what I normally listen to.”

Roy frowned. “So what do you normally listen to?”

Jamie looked genuinely aggrieved at his revelation. Like it was Roy’s fault Jamie just knew pop music. If it weren’t for Phoebe, Roy wouldn’t know any music after 2010. Why would Roy think Jamie would know it if he didn’t like it?

He made a displeased sound in his throat and grabbed for Roy’s phone.

“No!” Roy growled, swiping with one hand to grab the phone back. Jamie yanked it out of his reach. “This is literally the opposite of what I said, Tartt!”

“Well apparently you don’t know what I listen to which means either I don’t share enough or you don’t pay attention to me.” Jamie huffed. “One of us is a shitty boyfriend so we’re fixing this now.”

Roy growled again but, seeing as he refused to get in a slap fight, pulled his hand back.

“We’re not bad boyfriends,” Roy grumbled. “You share with me plenty. And I pay attention.”

Roy could see Jamie lift an eyebrow in his peripheral vision.

“What’s my coffee order?” Jamie quizzed.

“You’re not allowed coffee with your training. Caffeine’s too harsh on your system”

“Obviously,” Jamie rolled his eyes. “I mean when I have the option like during the off season or on holiday.”

Roy hummed. “Iced ristretto macchiato with oat milk. And whatever stupid fucking seasonal flavoring they have.”

Jamie hummed happily, in confirmation and praise. Roy smirked.

“Favorite ice cream?”

“Salted caramel.”

“Soup?”

“Split pea because you’re a fucking weirdo.”

“Nandos order?”

“Why are all of these about food?”

“Cuz I’m off training for a few days and I’m excited to feel joy when I eat again.”

“Fine. Fuck. Grilled chicken wrap with paella and a ceasar salad.”

Jamie leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “God, babe, you’re obsessed with me. Such a turn on.”

“Fuck you.”

“Okay pull over.”

Roy snorted, rolling his eyes, but he put his hand on the center console for Jamie to take. Jamie did so without hesitation.

“Flat white, by the way,” Jamie said and at Roy’s inquisitive grunt followed up with “Your coffee order. Ice cream is coffee and butter pecan. Soup is matzah ball, obviously. And you’re banned from Nandos.”

“I’m not banned,” Roy grumbled. “I’ve just been advised to not return.”

Jamie laughed, lifting Roy’s hand to kiss his knuckles.

“I know, grandad,” he stared at him sappily for another moment before turning his attention back to Roy’s phone. “We’re still listening to my music, though.”

Roy growled and Jamie dug his fingernail into Roy’s finger.

“Shut up,” Jamie said, idly. “I’m also favoriting my playlist on your Spotify account so you can listen to it when you’re not with me. Study my tastes, like.”

“You can’t give me fucking boyfriend homework.”

“Just did, bitch!” Jamie grinned. “You’ll like it, trust me.”

Roy growled again but squeezed Jamie’s hand, letting it happen.

It’s not that he was against learning things about Jamie – and maybe he felt a little guilty assuming things about him — but Roy, as stoic as he was to most people, was shit at hiding his emotions from the people who knew him. If he didn’t like Jamie’s music, it would show on his face, and he didn’t want to hurt Jamie’s feelings when he was sharing with him.

Which meant the surprise he felt when Jamie’s head started bopping to the opening chords of Billy Joel’s “It’s Still Rock and Roll To Me” was loud and clear across his face.

“Are you fucking with me?” Roy asked.

Jamie rolled his eyes before he started singing along. He knew all the words.

Jamie frowned but his head also bopped along. Billy Joel wasn’t that surprising. Pretty standardly popular.

As was the Queen song that came on after. Being a Queen fan just meant being a human.

But then there was the Kinks and The Who and Blue Oyster Cult. A bunch of American hair bands that were past their prime before Roy had been born.

At the third Fleetwood Mac song, Roy couldn’t take it anymore.

“There’s no way this is your go-to playlist. Are you trying to impress me?”

“I can show you my Spotify Wrapped, old man: Fleetwood Mac’s my top artist this year.” He air drummed on the dashboard with his one hand that wasn’t holding Roy’s. “Stevie Nicks was the first woman to be entered into the Rock and Roll hall of fame twice. And you say female artists before Madonna didn’t have to work hard.”

Roy grunted again, introspective.

“I guess I should have known,” Roy said after a while, over Bowie singing “Suffragette City.” “After the Rolling Stones comment when you called me Keith Richards.”

“Okay, so you do pay attention,” Jamie grinned. “You’re just too thick to make connections.”

“Fuck off,” Roy said. “You sing along to Taylor Swift on the radio, that’s not exactly The Ramones.”

“Listen, it ain’t my fault I know ‘Shake it Off’: it’s been playing in stadiums for as long as I’ve been in the premier league.”

Roy hummed in allowance. “Yeah, that song has been fucking everywhere,” he said. “I know it because of Phoebe.”

“Young impressionable child, I get it,” Jamie agreed. “I heard Keeley’s been setting her straight, though.”

Roy made a noise in his throat. “She has been listening to more Led Zeppelin.”

“That’s my girl.” Jamie grinned

Roy smiled back.

Jamie let his playlist run for the first two hours of the drive, letting go of Roy’s hand so he could rock out properly.. All of it was music Roy was vaguely familiar with but not something Roy would seek out to listen to himself.

He really should have guessed at Jamie’s taste considering his style. His stupid hair and his denim rhinestones and his dangly earring is all very glam rock. 

“Was it Georgie? Was she a classic rock fan?”

“Oh, definitely,” Jamie grinned, wiggling a bit as he played air guitar. “Mum was a groupie in her day. All she wanted to do was fuck Thom Yorke.”

“Ah, so at least you come by your groupie status honestly.”

“Fuck off, old man, I don’t even like you,” Jamie grinned. “But it is your turn for music.”

“Hm?”

“Yeah, mate, I shared my music with you so now you have to share with me.”

“I was gonna play my music first!”

“Were you?” Jamie asked. “Or were you gonna put on a random radio station that you didn’t mind us talking over?”

Roy grunted. That had been what he’d been planning on doing. Because he would have been irritated if Jamie talked over music he liked and also he can’t listen to the music he liked without singing along. And he didn’t want Jamie to make fun of him for that.

But Jamie had shared so, yeah, it was fucking Roy’s turn.

He held out his hand for his phone and Jamie placed it in his palm, his face smug.

Roy rolled his eyes and navigated to his music library, picking his favorite saved playlist.

Immediately, the strings that open up “One Day More” from Les Miserables filled the car.

Jamie started before grinning, sitting up further in his seat.

“Royo, is this–”

“Shh,” Roy warned. “You’re not talking over my cue.”

“What–”

“One day more,” Roy sang. “Another day another destiny. This never ending road to calvary. These men who seem to know my crimes will surely come a second time. One day more

“I did not live until today”

Jamie cackled as Roy seamlessly switched to the next part. Even more so when he began straining his already pathetic upper register to sing the women’s parts.

But he didn’t interrupt. And he didn’t try to talk to Roy over the music.

When the song ended, he paused the playlist to clap. Roy smiled, a little pleased, even while his ears turned red in a blush.

“So this is big man Roy Kent?” Jamie asked, grinning. “Secret West End aficionado?”

“Fuck off,” Roy scowled. “I thought we were sharing.”

“We are! And I love this about you!” Jamie said, reaching over to rub a comforting hand over Roy’s thigh. “Was your mum into showtunes.””

Roy huffed, covering Jamie’s hand with his own. “Grandad. He showed me Fiddler when I first started learning what it was like to be Jewish. Always told me that Jewish people invented musical theater and it doesn’t matter how big of an athlete I ever got, I was never to be ashamed of that.”

“Nothing to be ashamed of, mate.” He flipped his hand over to lace his fingers with Roy’s again. “Press play. And when we get to mummy’s we can watch your favorite.”

Fuck, Roy loved him.

They cycled through some Broadway classics, Jamie pausing the music after the song was over to ask about the show. He was interested in Sweeney Todd: thought the eating people bit was mad. He really liked the music from Rent (no surprise there) and he was blown away by Six.

“This sounds new!” Jamie said. “This is like poppy and shit!”

“It’s a feminine centric re-telling of the history of Henry VIII’s wives.”

“And it fucks!” Jamie said. He shimmied his shoulders. “Get it, Anne Boleyn!”

Roy laughed, not binding Jamie attempting to sing along to this one. He’d never learned all the words, but it was fun to see Jamie have fun.

By the time they pulled up to Georgie’s, the Christmas lights in City sky blue, Jamie had convinced himself they absolutely had to watch Singing in the Rain. 

“Roy, you get the dopiest smile on your face when one of those songs come on,” he told him. “We’re watching it.”

Jamie moved to get out of the passenger seat but Roy pulled him back,

Jamie tilted his head at him and Roy pulled him into a kiss. Jamie hummed into the kiss, reaching up to cup Roy’s face and kiss him back.

He pulled back with a final peck. “What was that for?”

“For sharing with me.” Roy shrugged. “Made the drive go by quick.”

“Mmm,” Jamie agreed. “Softy.”

Roy snorted, pulling away and opening the door. “And now I’m not kissing you for the entire time we’re in Manchester.”

“No, wait, Roy!” Jamie whined, scrambling out of his own door. “That’s not fair!”

Roy laughed, going around to the boot to grab his luggage while Jamie whined. He’d definitely kiss him goodnight and they both knew it.

But Jamie could beg if he wanted.

[bisluthq]

Something that also really works for me is to take 2 days off in a week to cook in batches, like 2-3 side dishes. That's enough to not have to cook for the rest of the week or maybe. And if I don't feel like eating more of one of them, i just freeze. It's actually a running joke in my household that when I can only cook in army quantities.

I like to cook in general, but I'm more of a baker. I also like to cook breakfasts and middle of the day snacks type of thing. Actual meals cooking sometimes I don't find as fun and in the moment if I don't have food ready I end up by not eating or eating crap. Which is kind not good for me. So doing it this way is also kind of me trying to make these fun and varied and planned. I'm a big fan of meal planning and lists of all kind.

One thing that really helps me to make sure I eat vegetables everyday is buying those bags of mixed frozen vegetables and when I'm pre making whatever side dish I just dump the vegetables at the same time. And then the main protein I decide on the day by putting something in the oven or whatever. So even though you are eating the same 2-3 side dishes, it doesn't get boring because the rest is different

In my country there's a big culture around eating soup at all meals, so I also make sure to do a batch of soup to last a week. All seasons of the year. There's dozens of soup recipes, but mainly it really is just vegetables with a bit of olive oil. All children get used to this, since they're little. So sometimes if you don't eat a lot of dinner, your parents are like oh but he ate a bowl of soup he's fine. Cause it's just filling, good nutrients and nothing else.

It’s a good idea for sure. It doesn’t really work for me personally - I’ve tried this like batch cooking/meal prepping but then I don’t want to eat the thing I made and I make something new and the stuff I batch cooked sits in the freezer for ages. But also I am just very impulsive.

what I do do recently though is I keep a loooot of stuff in my freezer. I have been going on a monthly shop and I buy a lot of different kinds of meat and fish and frozen stuff like peas and veggie packs and stick it all in the freezer so then when I decide I want to make oxtail or I want to make bolognese or I want to make chicken or whatever then I have it there and also I always have a lot of choices so then I don’t want to go out or order a takeout.

When I didn’t work from home (so before the pandemic) I used to shop every day after work and decide what to make then. In the pandemic, I started doing the big shops so I wouldn’t have to go out for a while and then I stopped doing that again and went through a phase of eating a lot of takeouts which worked for just me. When my bf and I moved in together we were getting lots of takeouts and it was just… starting to cost me a lot lol and we were also both getting bored of it because we’d order the same things from the same places every time. But I work from home and I don’t really want to go to the shops that much so idk I’ve just been doing this bulk shop thing and it makes it way easier for me to control my spending and always have something I want to make in the fridge. I try to get a fair amount of easy to cook stuff (like things you just need to stick in the oven or air fryer, you know) and a couple fancy things for if I feel like making something complicated and as I said veggies and stuff and I always keep rice and potatoes and I try to have fresh veggies for like a simple side salad in my fridge all the time but sometimes I forget and/or they go off because there’s only 2 of us so if it’s like a head of lettuce then that’s hard for us to finish and even the little packets tend to go off without us finishing them. So I also sometimes order salad or buy at a deli but then I’ll do that on the day.

[mariacallous]

My #BLEWISH ancestry shows up in different ways. My maternal DNA is Ashkenazi-Russian Jewish. On the paternal side, like many African Americans, my ancestors are a swirl of Black, Native American, and European White — largely German, though I don’t know how much of that was added to the mix consensually.

Rosalyn and Kelly, my parents, were married in Seattle, Washington long before the Supreme Court made unions like theirs fully legal throughout the United States. But unlike many interracial couples, they grew up together during the Depression in North Minneapolis, where Black people and Jewish people were “allowed” to live side by side.

My parents divorced when I was two, just before my younger brother was born. Mom raised us in the very diverse Central Area of Seattle, which (pre-gentrification) was where many Black and Asian people resided.

My mother was proud of her Jewish heritage. While she wasn’t religiously observant, she did send my brother and I to Hebrew school. “I want you to learn about my people’s history, culture, and beliefs,” she explained.

Food was my mother’s love language and a form of spiritual expression. Everything from the simplest dishes to elaborate meals were always cooked to perfection. Most Sundays, she turned out a soul food feast with chicken (baked, not fried), collard greens, candied yams, rice, and often black-eyed peas. Sometimes she even threw in a sweet potato pie. My father had tutored her in creating these delicacies during their years together.

When it came to traditional Jewish dishes, she didn’t cook many, though she’d rhapsodize about her mother’s knishes, rugelach, and schmaltz. But she was serious about her chicken soup. She cooked it old school: a whole chicken, plump chunks of carrots, silvered slices of celery, and plenty of “nature’s antibiotics:” onion and garlic. Sometimes she added noodles; other times, rice. One thing was certain: Mom’s chicken soup was a powerful healing elixir for body, mind, spirit, and soul. And true to form, she whipped some up and administered it at the first sign of any illness.

My approach to cooking is more serviceable than spiritual, and I don’t have my mom’s gift for making everything flawless. But I have carried on the traditions of two cherished dishes: collard greens and chicken soup. My now-grown son and daughter request and expect collard greens for every holiday meal, and they grew up eating chicken soup as a cure-all. Their adult palates are more vegetarian–vegan, so the chicken soup tradition might well end with my generation. But the spirit of healing chicken soup lives on in spirit and memory. Who knows, maybe they’ll come up with a non-poultry option.

Every New Year’s Eve, my mother cooked collards and black-eyed peas, and made sure we all ate at least a little before midnight. “The greens are for money, and the peas for good luck,” she’d remind us. I didn’t realize how deeply this was rooted in African American tradition until I moved to the South.

I thought all the mothers of Mixed-Black children were experts at preparing soul food. It wasn’t until I was grown that I realized how extraordinary my mother was. As my brother and I brought people from different places into our multicultural home, I watched in amazement as she mastered their traditional dishes as well from lumpia and adobo for my brother’s Filipina girlfriend to berbere and Doro Wot for my Ethiopian beau.

My mother’s eclectic approach to culinary expression taught me a lot about being from a mixed-race background. Her kitchen was a living laboratory of what we now call diversity. She learned and then produced the dishes from different cultures with reverence and seasoned them with love. They mirrored her approach to people and life: open-minded and open-hearted with a hearty appreciation for the cultural spice of life.

Unlike my late mother, I normally take shortcuts in the kitchen. But chicken soup and collard greens are sacred, and require elaborate rituals, often taking a couple of days. I clear my counters and my schedule, and savor the opportunity to commune with my parents and to reflect on the paths of their ancestors that brought them together in a rule-breaking love with the audacity to produce children who were destined to live outside the lines.

And when I place small amounts of those special dishes upon my ancestral altar, I give special thanks for the vision, heart, and culinary prowess of a mama who spoke — and cooked — Yiddish and jazz.*

Note: Use your favorite seasonings to flavor your greens. Lawry’s Seasoning Salt is popular and Seasonest (sold in Whole Foods and online) is a Black family-owned alternative with all-natural ingredients.

*I borrowed the phrase, “a mother who speaks Yiddish and jazz” from my #BLEWISH sister-author Lisa Jones and her wonderful book “Bulletproof Diva“.  

[saltqueer]

Ask Game Answers

Last song: The Dogs of Rotterdam by The Barons of Tang

Colour: yeah agreed, deep rich greens are great

Media: Yeah fatt is great, go read the manga for dungeon meshi it's so damn good. Go watch Scavenger's Reign. Read The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemison. These are more recs than what I'm currently enjoying ah well.

Flavour: Sweet

I've forgotten the rest so have new questions.

What kind of animal are you picking/stuck with as a familiar if you became a witch?

Do you have a garden? How does it grow?

If you got shrunk down teeny tiny and became a teeny tiny cowboy, what bug are your riding off into the teeny tiny sunset?

Do you have any good hats?

What can you do that most people cant?

witch familiar: i don't have a pet right now, i think i would go for the classic cat. i like big fluffy grey ones

garden: yes! there are two vegetable garden plots here. the growing environment is very different from where i grew up, so there's still a lot of learning to do.

there's a couple peach trees that do well, im excited to make pickled green peaches in a couple months! i think this year they'll all be dill or spicy dill. they went really fast, and the other batch i made still has barely gotten touched. there's also a goji berry bush that's very productive. last year i had to stop picking bc i was getting overwhelmed with processing them. we just used the last of them this week, in a ham and bean soup, so I'll be a little more diligent about picking them next year. there's also a couple apple trees, but they do super poorly. i think they have some kind of blight? but idk. they are really small and never put out many leaves. and like two apples max. there's also a pear tree, last year the pears it made were all tiny? OH and chestnut trees. usually the squirrels get to them all first, but last year might've been a mast year, if chinese chestnuts do that?? we had a ton of extras. unfortunately we didn't eat them fast enough, and they're gross and dry now. if it happens again ill make sure we give more of them away

we usually grow lots of tomatoes and basil that do super well. there's also peas, but the rabbits get to them despite our best efforts, so they don't produce a whole lot. we're trying to figure out onions, but i think the soil needs to be softer before they'll be able to do well. its very clay-y. and my dad keeps planting garlic in the spring, even though you're supposed to plant it in the fall. so it never makes it. and my mom keeps planting lettuce, even though it never gets more than a couple leaves and they're always bitter. i think its a waste of time and spacd, especially since she doesn't ever change anything about how she grows it?? just goes oh well that was disappointing. guess I'll do the same thing next year. and it's not like people can't grow lettuce here for some reason, the community farm that food not bombs works with grown BEAUTIFUL heads of lettuce. im also biased here btwn my mom and my dad and their plants they won't change husbandry for bc i like garlic and think it's worth it to make a simple change, but i don't think it's possible to make lettuce taste good. we also usually grow carrots, last year the first planting got too hot and turned bitter, but the second round of them were totally sweet and delicious!! last year we used the second plot to grow buckwheat and it did really badly, we barely got back as many groats as we planted. but it was so fun to watch it grow. there's also a small herb mound that has sage and thyme growing on it. they do well, but my mom never uses them ????? she says its too much bother to leave the kitchen and go get them. i want her to plant rosemary there too, but i haven't managed to get it to happen. we also have an aloe that we keep indoors. i want it to get really big so the leaves are worth it to process for food, but my mom wants it to stay tiiiny. and that's plants!

tiny cowboy: i had to think really hard about this one. probably some sort of weevil? they look cool as hell

hats: OH BOY DO I. i have three hats that are very cool cause i made them! i also have hats that i made but aren't cool, so im not just being egotistical fbfjsjsnan

first up, this stocking cap!

its made of cheap polyester yarn, but the colors are super fun. its also a little too big bc i didn't bother with a gauge swatch, but its pretty much fine

second up, this balaclava!

its made of wool yarn that i handspun with my drop spindles. i picked the colors after sangfielle. and i knitted it, obviously. i wear it to work every day, since i commute on my bike and work outside. i don't usually lay it out like this, so its cool to see how it's stretched out and shaped itself with age (look up #sangfiyarn if you want to see what it looked like originally!)

and, finally, this hat!!

i wore it last night but i can't find it now :/ it'll reappear soon tho for sure. not only is it totally gorgeous, i had to reverse engineer the pattern from peoples process pics on ravelry!! the designer is totally uncontactable. i spent like two months trying to get in touch with her so i could give her $6 for it but nothing came of it. also, the technique this uses creates a wonderful double thick layer of fabric, so its super warm. the yarn is hand dyed, i got it off etsy from a lady who lives in colorado and dyes yarn inspired by colors in nature around her. the green really does feel like a pine forest

special abilities: math. hand spinning yarn. reverse engineer a complicated crochet pattern from pictures. look out my window and see the woods. embroidery? i can do the back of your throat french R. i ride a bike 16 miles every day (e-bike, im not that good at biking anymore). i can truthfully say i've lived in 6 us states. i know how to make twine out of stinging nettle fiber, but im not very good at it. i can say i rode my bike 100 miles in a day twice as a kid, and 50 miles in a day a few times. ive also gone over 50mph on a bike. i used to own a bike frame that was one of 11 or so in the world, but i lost it when i was homeless. does writing in cursive count as something most people can't do nowadays? i know how to dye yarn with goldenrod. i can weave, a little bit sort of. i understand how to construct a fire for optimal cooking something on a stick. i know that the best fire cooking on a stick happens over coals, not over flames (ive spent so much time carefully building bonfires with flames areas and coals areas and then watching people cook hot dogs and marshmallows over the flames 😭😭😭 and then they're like ugh the outside of my hotdog is burnt and the inside is still cold. bro the coals are RIGHT THERE)

[smalltowngnoll]

Sausage and Pea Soup

A Meridellian favourite.

Pease porridge makes a lot, and the prep work is a good part lots of dicing. It has a long cooking time where it is fairly low maintenance, but this is a warm meal for a cold day! You can really throw whatever leftovers you have in here.

Ingredients

3 strips of bacon, cut into small pieces

2 TBS olive oil total

1 onion, diced

2 stalks celery, diced

1 carrot, diced

3 to 5 garlic cloves, thinly sliced

1 parsnip, diced

1 turnip, diced

2 1/2 c dried split peas

6 c veggie or chicken stock

2 tsp salt, to taste

1 tsp pepper

3-4 sausages

Recipe

In a large stock pot, coat the bottom in a little oil. Fry bacon until browned. Remove meat with a slotted spoon.

Sauté onions, celery, and carrots until softened. Use more olive oil if your bacon didn’t render enough fat. Add garlic and cook until fragrant. Remove and put with cooked bacon.

Sauté parsnips and turnip until softened. Same on adding oil as above.

Add all the bacon and cooked veggies. Add salt and pepper. Pour in your split peas and fill the pot with liquid until the solid food is an inch under. Reserve extra stock or use water if the porridge gets dry.

Leave on your lowest burner for a nice slow cook for 2+ hours with the lid on. (Porridge like this could be cooking over days with more ingredients being added in as needed) Stir every so often, making sure to scrape the bottom of the pan to prevent burning. Add more stock or water as needed.

Cook sausages! Pan fry them, oven bake them, whatever! Let them cool and then slice into small rounds. Throw them into the porridge 30 minutes prior to eating. That way they will soften a little, but not break apart entirely!

Serve! It goes well with a crusty bread and a good ale.

Shitty Picture:

This thick porridge is a wonderful winter meal that I made this summer. I have made it many times before, and I have added leftover prosciutto, different vegetables that were lying around, hot sauce, and a variety of herbs. This has a lot of versatility, so feel free to make it your own! I did not list it in the ingredients, but prosciutto is a very good at on with the bacon flavor-wise.

[matthew-gray-gubler-lover]

December 9th. Ice cream and a snowstorm.

It was going to start snowing today, so you and Matthew went to the grocery store early to get your ice cream for tonight, Saturday night ice cream after all.

You went for strawberry ice cream again this week, and Matthew, after careful consideration, decided upon candy cane ice cream this week.

You also picked up a few other groceries for the next couple of days. Since it was going to be a snowstorm, you didn't know how long you were going to have to be inside. You wanted to make sure that you had a few supplies so that you two could eat over the next few days. 

As well as some vegetables. You're going to make some vegetable soup today. It's something that your mother made for you every winter. It has a lot of vegetables in it. It has to cook for a long time, so it would be perfect for dinner tonight.

On the way back home, it began to snow. The two of you made it home just in time. The snowstorm was starting.

"So Christmas movie marathon?" Matthew asked you as he shut the front door.

"you know it "you giggled.

Over the years, the two of you have made a lot of traditions together, one of them being movie marathons during snowstorms. there really wasn't much else you could do with the snowstorm being so bad you couldn't go outside yet.

The two of you got into your Christmas pajamas. Since you were going to be home all day anyway, you might as well be comfortable. Yours was How the Grinch Stole Christmas and Matthews was Rudolph the Red Nose reindeer.

Which were undoubtedly two of the Christmas movies that you would end up watching over the next couple of days.

After the two of you were nice and comfy and cozy, and your Christmas pajamas, you both went into the kitchen and began preparing the vegetable soup. Matthew grabbed the big soup pot.

And then helped you cut the many vegetables that went into it. Zucchini, squash, onions, tomatoes, carrots, peas, Lima beans and more went into a pot. That Matthew had already put the carton of beef broth into. Once all of the vegetables were inside, Matthew turned on the burner and the soup began to warm. "It would be done by tonight, And will make a great dinner to go with such cold weather" you told him.

Matthew took out the DVDs you are going to watch today and The two of you watched movies while the soup simmered away. The house smelled amazing, and you were actually starting to become warmer just from the smell of the soup in the air. Matthew couldn't wait to try it as he's never had it before.

Matthew would even come into the kitchen with you and wrap his arms around your waist and put his chin on your shoulder as you stir the pot of soup. He was very excited about it and he was not disappointed when he tasted it. He was delighted.

"Can we make this every winter?" He asked you, before putting another spoonful of soup into his mouth with happiness.

"oh yes, If you want it, I'll make it for you anytime of the year, but it really is good during the winter, especially when wearing pajamas with the love of your life and watching Christmas movies by the fire." you told him with a smile.

When night time came, the two of you snuggled under a red Christmas blanket, sitting on the couch watching Rudolph, the Red Nose reindeer as you ate your ice creams.

[quinloki]

Family Ties

Fem Reader x Donquixote Doflamingo

CW: Language, violence, blood, moral ambiguity, murder, sexual themes and situations 18+ only

Chapter 1 - Table of Consent -

Chapter 12: Emotions

Dinner at the Donquixote estate was a practice in barely restrained chaos. Sugar had demanded you sit by her, which ended up with her in your lap about half-way through the meal. Dellinger had seated himself on the other side of you and spent as much time arguing with Sugar as he did talking to you.

Trebol and Diamante, two of Doflamingo's closest officers, snapped at each other's heels almost the whole meal, though most everyone else seemed to ignore them. Baby asked you a least 30 times if you needed her for anything, and you were legitimately convinced she was a hired maid for a good while, before Violet set you straight.

Monet sat near Sugar and did her best to help you wrangle the little rugrat enough that the two of you could trade off on eating. When you heard Machvise had personally made your dinner you praised him appropriately – you didn't want to unload a lot of hot air, but it was delicious food. You even admitted that while you weren't a fan of peas personally, the split pea soup was unexpectedly tasty.

Pica, Giolla, Senor Pink, Gladius and Buffalo were there a well, but your interactions were fairly limited. You feel like the younger ones had claimed you, and everyone else was just trying to make sure you weren't overwhelmed.

"Miss (Y/N)?" Sugar asks near the end of the meal.

"Miss Sugar, you can just call me (Y/N)." You say for the twelfth time, and after the third time you had started calling her 'Miss Sugar'.

"This bracelet is nice, where'd you get it?"

You realize she means the carnival gift, and you're suddenly glad to be a few seats removed from Doflamingo. "I got it as a gift."

You seem to have caught Dellinger's attention with this statement and he looks over. "From who?"

You gave a nervous laugh and smile as soon as you did Sugar pipes up. "Oh, was it the young master?" You hear someone choke on a drink, and you're pretty sure it's Monet. You're a bit sad your back's to her, she's been so composed the whole dinner it would've been a treat to see.

And people tell me I'm intuitive.

"Indeed." You answer with a smile. "It's a very special gift," you say with some drama. Sugar's attention is completely yours at this point, and even Dellinger looks like you're about to perform magic.

"What's it do?" Sugar inquires softly.

"It becomes more valuable with time." You answer, in your best mystical whisper.

You were fully rewarded with two awe-filled 'woooooah's' from Sugar and Dellinger. The conversation changes, the table was cleared, and after the meal you managed to find Monet without Sugar immediately in tow.

"I have a question for you, if you have a moment to spare." You ask and she gives you a smile.

"Anything for our new resident magician."

You grin. "Doflamingo told me you had dug into my history." Your expression didn't change, you weren't trying to make her feel bad. "I've... never looked, and while I know what happened, I don't know what the official story was."

There was a pause as she processes what you were asking and then her face became serious. "When you were six?"

You nod.

"I couldn't find the truth, and I knew I had only found propaganda when all the reports said you and your mother were killed during the Moim, and that your father had killed your killer. None of the records had anything else in them. Apparently, there's a memorial on Mary Geoise, honoring you and your mother's sacrifice." Monet's tone was usually flat, but there was a snarl in her last few words, as though the whole thing turned her stomach even as removed from it as she was.

You couldn't help the wave of emotion that went over you. Aggravation, anger, frustration, an odd pang of sadness and then anger again. He'd been able to keep climbing the ranks after the incident, you knew that much, but you didn't realize it was because they'd created a false tragic hero out of him. You had just assumed no one had known or cared – or that maybe the guy he murdered your mother to get was infamous enough for it to not matter.

"This... was a bad time to ask that, can you... I mean, is there somewhere I can go to cool off?" You question. Your fists are white-knuckled, and you're struggling to keep a neutral face.

"Of course." Monet takes you by the wrist and leads you through the estate until you come out the backside of it. The garden sprawls out before you, illuminated by the full moon, with a clear backdrop of stars. She points to a large tree that wasn't too far away.

"The old Wisteria tree always helped comfort me when I needed it. I'll keep most of the family at bay and give you a few minutes."

"Thanks."

You walk toward the large tree, feeling your anger melt away a little just from the cool air and the promise of quiet near the tree. Everything made more sense, and you hated that it made more sense. You stood under the tree, looking through the branches and blossoms, letting the moonlight fall over your face, you cry.

"May he live in agony." You whisper your wish up to the moon above, and your anger rushes back in.

"May he die in agony." You growl, your nails biting into the meat of your palms. Your shoulders shook, you wanted to unleash violence, you wanted to fight, you wanted to crush the old man's bones under your anger.

"Fuck." You croak the words, trying to keep from screaming. "Fuck."

"Rage is better released than held." Doflamingo's voice was quiet, as though he wasn't sure if he should even speak.

"I... don't..." You look over at him and your breath hitches. "I don't know what to do with this! I want to hurt him! I want to feel pain in my fists from the damage I would do his bones! I want his soul to shatter beneath my fury! I want his blood to feed the worms!"

Tears cut lines down your face as Doflamingo stands in front of you silently. If your words were affecting him, he made no outward show of it. "I want every breath he takes to cut his lungs with glass! I want the world to know what a terrible fraud he is! I want his heart's final, worthless, twitch to be between my fingers! How is this emotion simple rage?! How is this emotion even human!?"

Your tears stop. "How can... how can you hear me say all that and not flinch? Not back away? Not – not banish me from your home? How can I be so angry twenty-gods-be-damned-years-later?"

You sit on the ground hard, and it's the first time he so much as twitches, reaching out as if to catch you. Instead, he steps closer and kneels before you. His glasses are off and tucked in his shirt pocket. He offers you a handkerchief and gives you a moment to clean up your face and catch your breath.

Your mind comes back to you, and you look down at the ground. "Did it feel like this for you?" You ask quietly.

"Mmm," He reaches out and tilts your face up with a gentle touch, until you're looking at him. "It was different, but similar. My anger didn't simmer for 20 years until it boiled over. I was able to release it, and resolve it, in a smaller amount of time." His thumb caresses your cheek, wiping away an errant tear. You turn your head and nuzzle your cheek into his hand.

"I realize this is a bad time to say so, but you could just crush my whole head in your hand." You lean back, holding his hand with both of yours. "I wasn't able to really appreciate how bloody big your hands are until now."

The velvet rumble of his soft chuckle makes you feel warm. "Feeling a bit better?" He asks, standing up and offering you a hand up.

Smiling, you accept his assistance. "I am, thank you." Stretching a bit, you chuckle. "Painful truths over sweet lies, what a legitimate sentiment."

"If you're up for it, there's been an offer of dessert." He says with a devious grin, and continues before you can say anything. "The kind you can enjoy in the company of the family."

You blush a bit despite it all and laugh. "Sure, yes. They say sweet things are good for the soul anyway, so dessert-mffmph!"

Warm lips press against yours, and a strong hand presses into your back to steady you against the surprise. When he leans back you grab his collar and pull him back in, causing the softest sound of surprise to escape him. You press your tongue against his lips, and he lets you in. You didn't control the kiss for long, but you didn't care. Being devoured by this man wasn't the worst that could happen to you.

"My apologies," you breathe, as the kiss breaks, your eyes shifting from his lips to his eyes. "I'm sure you had something about you being good for my soul on the tip," you lean closer again, your eyes back down at his lips. "Of your," you ghost your lips past his, biting your lower lip lightly, before backing away entirely.

"So, dessert?" you prompt, with a great big smile on your face.

He chuckles, putting his glasses back and gesturing back to the estate with a small flourish, "My dear."

You got a step ahead of him and hear his voice rumble in his chest. "That won't be forgotten," he promises, and you weren't sure you were as scared of that as you should've been.

Dessert was a delicious strawberry shortcake, and a more subdued conversation with Monet, who apologized for delivering her new so bluntly. You also get to speak more directly to Trebol, Diamante, Pica and Giolla.

Leaving for the evening was a little bittersweet, but when Doflamingo didn't tempt you to stay, you realized just how busy his own job was keeping him. He did walk you to the limo, pinning you against the door and finishing the kiss from earlier before allowing you to slip away for the evening. You were in the backseat without a chance to request different, and sure enough your mind wandered to what had been done before, and what could be done in the future.

Tuesday came and went with little incident. You sporadically texted with Doflamingo, worked your jobs, and took an evening to yourself. You had every intention to vegetate on the couch and watch cheesy action movies. When you got home Tuesday evening, you saw Zoro in the driveway, looking at his phone and leaning against his delivery van.

"Hey, Marimo," you greet, jogging the last few steps to reach him. "What's up?"

The grin that spread across his face made you tilt your head in confusion.

"Special delivery, Mouse." He teases you back and hands over one of Robin's flower arrangements. You realize from his smile that he knows what the hyacinths meant as well as you did. You hold the flowers nearby and appreciate the scent.

Your face goes red and all you can murmur is a small, "Thanks."

"Least I could do." He replies. "It was my last delivery of the day, so I decided to stick around until you got home. Things run long at Eustass' shop?"

"Not overly. I ended up kibitzing with the guys for a bit, but admitting that my stray had turned into a more permanent sort of trouble was what kept me."

Zoro snorts, "Yeah, I'm sure a couple of those guys will be drowning their sorrows tonight."

You laugh, "If they felt that way, they should've said something sooner."

"As long as you're happy," he shrugs.

"Nervous?" you question, shifting the topic of whose relationship was being discussed.

Zoro looks away and rubs the back of his head. "Maybe a little."

You pat his shoulder. "She's only had a thing for you, for like, the last year at least. You'll be fine whatever you have planned."

Zoro groans. "Did I really not notice for so long?"

"I blame time spent hanging around Luffy and Ace." You say, "They're both dense as tungsten."

Zoro laughs and leaves you to your thoughts and flowers. Hyacinths, your loveliness charms me. There's a definite skip in your step as you go into your home.

(Y/N): I see you have responded in kind.

You send the text and set the flowers on your coffee table and do a silly happy dance for a moment before your phone vibrates.

Trouble: I was told a simple reply would suffice.

(Y/N): I only have so much space for replies.

Trouble: I was reminded repeatedly by your florist friend.

(Y/N): I would like to reply in a more direct way, but you must promise me something.

Trouble: I shall do my best, my dear.

(Y/N): Do not answer your phone for the next twenty minutes.

You were skipping up the steps to your room waiting for a reply. It took so long you were a bit concerned he wasn't going to agree.

Trouble: Very well, I promise.

Utilizing the toys you had available, you brought yourself close to orgasm before dialing his number. You tried to calm your breathing in case he picks it up, so you could scold him without giving your intent away too obviously. Once you heard the customized voicemail greeting, you had a feeling he at least had an inkling as to what you meant to do.

"Leave your messages as you please, kitten."

Caught or not, it didn't matter. You let the pleasure in your voice sing out for him. You were so close you didn't think you were going to need multiple messages, just the knowing sound in his voice was enough to get your heart racing. Your imagination brought his presence into your room, looming over you and telling you to scream for him. Purring softly in your ear with need in his own voice for you to cum for him.

The idea of him watching you while you did something like this drove you over the edge in a rush. You mewl his name and cry your orgasm into the phone as best you could with your hands preoccupied. Panting and enjoying the rush you pick up the phone properly and left the only fully formed words of the whole message.

"Just some of my charming loveliness, Doffy."

Hanging up the phone you laid out on the bed and basked for a moment before dragging yourself into the shower. As you were coming back out of the shower, you noticed a missed called and a new voicemail message. Your face flushes as you press play, unsure of what to expect.

"There is a fine line between divinity and torture, Miss (Y/N). One you seem to be alarmingly skilled at walking. I do hope you're available tomorrow, I would hate to have to kidnap you, my dear."

You sent a text, not wanting to risk your voice betraying you. You also wanted the chance to pick your words, and not vocalize the fact that you wouldn't have any issues being kidnapped by him.

(Y/N): I promised Pop's some of my time tomorrow.

(Y/N): Is after dinner acceptable?

The lack of a reply stretches out more minutes than it ever had before, so you decided to continue.

(Y/N): It seems I've bordered closer to cruel than I meant. I could, graciously, get someone to cover my café shift Thursday, so that I could stay the night.

The last few words were hard to type, not because you were against the idea, but you were a little worried you misread his delay. You wanted to jump in with both feet, you didn't want to leap into concrete on accident.

The response was almost immediate.

Trouble: Then I shall graciously accept.

You bit the bottom of your lip, and preemptively apologized to the Boys that you wouldn't be as focused on visiting as you usually were.