#make of this what you will i am not responsible

[autisticmudkip]

Give a Family Hope for the New Year!

The start of a new year should be a time for happiness, community, and hopeful plans. However, hope is hard to find for families in Gaza, as another year of continued war and genocide begins for them. This includes Mounir Alanqar and his family.

Mounir @sham-moner is only 19, but he has taken on the responsibility of raising funds to support himself and his family throughout this horrific situation. On top of this, he has been recovering from surgery while suffering from hunger and cold.

The rest of Mounir's family is struggling as well. His mother has asthma, which is especially dangerous when warmth and medicine are hard to access in Gaza. His whole family is suffering from malnutrition. His little sister, Sham, has been sent to the hospital previously for malnutrition. She is only four years old, and she has been suffering from lack of food and contaminated water.

€4,040 / €35,000

Mounir and his family have only raised 12% of their goal so far, and donations keep stagnating. Sometimes they go for days at a time without receiving any donations. They can't afford for this to continue.

Please, help Mounir and his family get what they need to live in this coming year. Share and donate, help them get the food, warmth, and medical care they need. Any donations, no matter how small, makes a difference!

Vetted #8 by @/gazavetters

Shared here by 90-ghost

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@lesbocrocker @chososhairbuns @summer-skye-64 @cooper-klebba @sahara-silver

@codaynamics @chromaticpotato @neon-draws-sometimes @humanmorph @knightpunks

@ziispurple @livereater002 @a-brand-new-girl @yakofalltrades @cephalomorph

@5c0l0p3ndr4 @tolbachik @disabled-battlekukku @tadpoledyke @melon-colli

[luvmanifesting]

PURE CONSCIOUSNESS 101

what exactly IS pure consciousness? well its a state of consciousness where you’re detached from the 3D and mainly aware of the 4D. your 4D is anything that is within you. (imagination, inner conversations, playing a song in your head..etc etc) THAT is your 4D, you can induce pure consciousness at any time of the day and absolutely anywhere. most people prefer to induce pure consciousness at night because thats when the body becomes more relaxed in preparation for sleep. you can always set the intention to wake up in pure consciousness, fall asleep and then lucid dream and THEN induce pure consciousness or sleep paralysis (i don’t really recommend sleep paralysis) but hey, do what makes you comfortable. you may think that its too good to be true but its not, everyone has the ability to induce pure consciousness because its simply a meditative process. the traditional way people induce pure consciousness on TUMBLR is usually by closing your eyes and repeating the phrases “I AM” or “I am in the void state” or “i am pure consciousness” it doesn’t matter what affirmation you use just as long as its the intention of inducing it. you cannot fail this because it is impossible. news flash.. you induce pure consciousness as soon as you fall asleep every night.

you cannot force pure consciousness thats a thing most of you guys do, you wanna rush because you desperately wanna show your haters wrong. stop that, you don’t force yourself to sleep right? you don’t force yourself to breathe.. so stop trying to force pure consciousness. that will only keep you in the awake state. (awake state being you reading this right now and everything you see around you).

whats also common when people wanna induce pure consciousness is they wonder when they’ll start getting symptoms (floaty feeling, tingling, senses going out) etc, guys that’s simply just your brain checking to see if you’re awake, one of the reasons you “tap out” of pure consciousness was because you placed your awareness back on your body. as soon as your senses go out then you’re there. theres no “but i got floaty feelings and then i affirmed and i got nothing” well then you were not pure consciousness. and then theres your fear that comes into play whenever inducing pure consciousness.

you’re scared of failing, (you literally can’t fail a mediative state this isn’t rocket science) you’re panicking because you swore to yourself you would induce pure consciousness over the break and live your dream life and then you didn’t. *loud heavy sigh* you can’t fail this guys, its okay to be worried but this isn’t something that just can never not work for you.

now lets see pure consciousness from a law of an assumption pov, as we all know our best friend is law of assumption, works instantly and effectively. all you have to do is assume. “well ayami how do i assume?”. my response would be that the sky is glittery with magical rainbows. you would reply with “no its not” i would reply “yes it is” 1 second later the sky is glittery and has magical rainbows. why? because it was my assumption. i didn’t need any stupid proof, it was my assumption so it had no choice to happen. now if you told me “ugh im such a master at inducing pure consciousness” and i said “no you aren’t” you are NOT going to say “oh you’re right im not” YOU ARE GOING TO SAY “um what’re talking about yes i am? you’re just jealous i can induce it instantly and effortlessly”. okay now bam you can instantly and effortlessly induce pure consciousness whenever you want because thats your assumption and you stood firm to it no matter what was said or shown to you. starting NOW you will assume that you’re a master at inducing pure consciousness and you will stand firm in that state no matter what the hell is shown.

now go induce pure consciousness.

[thecommunityoftrustworthysinks]

near the start of the essay ooooough this hits hard

(edit) a few more things i wanted to pull out:

(alt text in image description)

basically, supporting trans people means supporting trans men and that means you have to shift your paradigm to fit men into feminism. there's not an alternative

Is there a term for that phenomenon that happens when people tell transmen/transmascs not to go on testosterone/not to try to look more masculine because it'll make them ugly/fat/hairy/bald/whatever negative thing?

I know it's not transmisandry, but does it have a name or is it just general transphobia?

I mean surely that's not NOT transphobia? but I'm also not, like, in charge of how transmasculine people talk about stuff so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[ultravi0lence14]

WELCOME TO THE BUNKER

dean winchester x angel!reader

1.5k | angst, enemies to lovers, szn nine

summary: waking up inside of the winchester’s bunker, you quickly start to realize that only one of the brother’s want you around their home.

WHEN ANGEL FALLS IN LOVE

“damn, she sleeps like a log.”

your mind was starting to wake up, the faint sounds of a gruff voice piercing through your veil of sleep. your eyes peeled open like worn out book pages, taking their time as you brought your hand up to shield your retina’s from the blinding lights.

how long you’d been asleep was a mystery to you. your body felt well rested, but it also felt like your bones had been dormant for years. the plush material beneath your body felt like a cloud, having you realize that the winchester’s had probably laid you to rest in a bed of sorts.

“dean!” you heard another voice exclaim softly in shock, a thud being heard from an unknown source. “she fell from heaven for christ’s sake, i’d also be asleep for a week.”

a week? was that how long you’d been asleep for? yeah, you fell from the sky at an inhuman speed, but you didn’t expect to be out for seven days.

when your eyes finally decided to peel open, a cream and industrial space was there to greet you. the winchester’s bunker is where you expected to be, but you didn’t plan on it being this nice. from this room alone, it seemed massive, and you were starting to already get overwhelmed.

it didn’t help that two large bodies loomed over you. as the clutches of sleep let go of your weak body, it didn’t allow you to realize that it was sam and dean who were hovering over you. so in a fit of fear, you leapt up in bed, shocking the brother’s to jump backwards as you scooted towards the headboard.

your eyes were widened in fear; even as your brain registered that it was sam and dean in the room with you. wether it be the aftershocks of the fall or adjusting to being awake after seven days you didn’t know, but your body couldn’t help but cower back as sam reached out towards you.

“hey, it’s okay.” sam spoke softly, coming to stand by the bedside while kneeling to be close to your frame. “we aren’t going to hurt you.”

the wide eyed fearful stare you gave sam softened as his reassurance sunk in your bones. all you could do was nod, looking from sam to his brother who didn’t share as soft as a reaction as sam did. “where am i?”your voice was soft, yet the gruffness of dean’s impending response hardened any of your feathery words that remained.

“our bunker,” his arms were crossed across his chest as he stood at the foot of your bed, looking down at you from his nose as he silently judged your presence. “in kansas. not a lot of supernatural creatures know about it, so don’t go flapping your gums and telling everyone.”

“dean!” it was like sam was conditioned to say his brothers name like that; shocked and full of distaste for how his brother was acting. “the poor girl just fell from the freakin sky, she’s probably confused. why would that be something she’d plan on doing?”

sam’s reprimanding had you shrinking back into the bed, making you realize how unwanted you were here. it wasn’t that sam didn’t want you around, it was just dean clearly didn’t want you there. if sam had to scold him so much, his animosity towards you was probably very high.

wringing your fingers together, you looked down at your bandaged hands as you attempted to pick at the skin around your fingers. “i don’t have to stay if that’s what you want, dean.” you mumbled, looking up at him as he stared you down. “i can go like cas, figure out how to live in this world alone.”

sam’s hand grasping yours had your head turning sideways, neck stiff as you tried to look him in the eyes. “no, you are welcomed here.” his words were steady, assured, like what he was saying was a fact. “we want to help you, that’s what cas wanted. so stay in bed for a little while, and when you’re ready, i’ll show you your room.”

you couldn’t help but feel a sense of something wondrous flow through your body. you weren’t too keen on emotions yet, but castiel had explained to you what some of them were and what they meant; and you were pretty sure you were feeling a sense of gratitude towards sam winchester.

he didn’t stay for much longer, briefly mentioning how he was going to find a room close to him or dean’s for you to stay in before he departed. with a blanket of silence falling over the room, you could finally take a moment to really sink into your mind and understand your emotions.

this was a new experience, and honestly, you were rightfully nervous. it was going to be hard, adjusting to having no grace and no angelic powers. you couldn’t fly, and you couldn’t heel people. you also felt a strange rumbling sensation in your stomach, and you were faintly sure that meant you were hungry.

everything was so new, and you realized that you had to figure out how you were as a person. all you’ve ever known is being an angel, how to be apart of a team and how to serve heaven. but now, you were your own person, and you could figure out whatever you wanted to be or who you were.

the world was still new to you, and you didn’t understand most of the things sam or dean talked about, but you were willing to try. you’ve been alive for millennia, yet you never truly lived.

falling was truly a blessing in disguise; because now, you could really enjoy life, and understand what it’s like to be alive.

“sam is the nice one y’know.” dean’s voice coming from the rooms entry had you jumping, eyes widening as you whipped your head to where he stood. his arms were crossed as usual, and his eyes held their usual steely gaze. he didn’t look happy, yet you weren’t surprised, for a sour expression was all he seemed to dawn around you.

visibly gulping as he descended towards you, your voice scratched against your throat as you attempted to talk to him. “i mean no harm dean, i swear.” the words came out in a croak as you attempted to plead your case, yet all dean could conjure up in response was an eye roll.

“i’m not stupid feathers,” the name didn’t come out tender, not like how cas would call you sweet pea. it came out demeaning, like he believed you to value yourself as some higher being who felt above him and his brother. “i know how you angels work, and i won’t allow you to come in here and judge me and sammy. if you thought i’d let you get away with being a bitch, then you are very wrong.”

his words made your lips quiver, eyes widening even more at his crude words. his entire life was centred around people leaving him, showing they never really cared. it wasn’t shocking that he didn’t trust you, that he would build such high walls around his emotions, that you wouldn’t even be able to get a peak inside. yet his words still left a stinging sensation on your gut, leaving a sour feeling in your chest.

“why are you so mean?” the words came out like a childish plea, a solemn whisper that had you reprimanding yourself at how dean made you feel like you were nothing. you were an angel for heaven’s sake. truly, you were above him. but you never thought like that, never believed that different species were placed in a tier.

castiel could be right sometimes. you were too sweet, a true angel. rightfully deserved of the description that people gave your kind. you believed that everyone should be treated equally. and like cas, you were too kind for your own good. so with dean standing above your rested frame, eyes cold as they stared at you, you attempted your last breath at making him see your true intentions. “you don’t even know me. i’m not like the other angels, i promise.”

all dean did was laugh, a bitter sound that scratched at your ears. “your promises mean shit to me, sweetheart. come and talk to me when you and your kind do something other than ruin me and my brothers lives.”

with that he stalked towards the door, not even letting you get a word in before he pipped in one last comment from the door. “try and stay far away from me, feathers. because if you try and piss me off, i’ll show you how mean i can really be.”

“is that a threat?” you wearily replied, trying to show some confidence as you weren’t up to be mistreated. you might be a kind person, but that doesn’t mean you were going to let people walk over you.

“no,” dean replied coolly, hand on the door frame as he was one step from being out of your sight. “that’s a promise.”

when you were finally alone, it suddenly set in that cracking dean winchester was a lost cause. he was cruel. a mean man that didn’t care about anything but what catered to him. sam was an honest and nice man, and if you would have to learn how to live by tip toeing around dean with his younger brother, then so be it.

TAGS: @floralscented @deansbeer @titsout4jackles @ostaramoon @haunteres @fallbhind @rubyvhs @foolinthera1n @taurus0queenie33 @vaiieydoii @jasvtsc @bitchykittenconnoisseur @galacticalllcafffeine @pascal-rascal424 @annoyingstrawberryballoon @fayeisuppose @angel-inspiredblog @geisterfvhrer @bluemerakis @si1ver06 @drqstqr @wh0s-ra3 @supernatural-bangtanboys @whump-loverz @mostlymarvelgirl @d3anwinchesterswife @youdontknowe

*sorry chat, i kinda made dean a raging bitch. but i swear!!! he will change!! we all know our man and his trust issues!!!

[mysunshinetemptress]

Smarter

Leah Williamson x reader

Warnings: Long, mentions of smut but not really, crappy writing

Leah thinks she’s smart, or at least that she has outsmarted you. You don’t know, no you can’t know there is no way on earth you know she’s careful so so careful.

She leaves the car in the park across the street, she only goes during certain times, when she’s going for a run, 6pm on weekdays and 9 am on the weekends.

Leah doesn’t venture out that way any other time unless it’s with you, when you beg and plead to go for a stroll around the park, hands intertwined together as you talk and talk. Do you ever stop talking ? She thinks to herself one day as you walk around the park.

Leah’s not paying attention not that she does anymore because she only agrees to go to the park mid afternoon on the weekends when she knows SHE’S out running, running around the park that you’re walking in. The park you picture your kids running around in at the same time Leah tracks HER with her eyes watching HER run closer to you both.

You don’t suspect a thing Leah thinks, no she knows you don’t suspect anything, she’s careful. She doesn’t wear perfume, she makes sure SHE isn’t wearing perfume, no lipstick nothing that could leave a mark nothing that could leave a scent that you could pick up on.

She ensures her stuff is folded neatly her wedding band placed on top, so that she isn’t missing anything, so that she doesn’t accidentally take anything, she fleeces her pockets making sure nothing has been left in them.

It happened once, SHE thought she was being cute, sexy even leaving HER red thong tucked into Leah’s coat pocket, Leah had only found it as she got into the car and it fell out onto the seat.

They had their first argument then. “I’m married, you can’t be giving me your knickers thinking it’s sexy, if my wife finds out that I…” SHE laughs “if she finds out what that you’re cheating on her.” It ends there, the argument. Leah swears to herself that she double checks everything before leaving the park.

Lying is easy for Leah now, it happens without a single thought, she can still remember the first time it happened. “God love your stats from your run are crazy did you sprint the entire time.” You know how long it takes her to run 5k, 10k even, of course you do you’ve played together forever but her stupid watch is going to get her caught she thinks. “I just wanted to push myself, you know I just..I wanted to prove to myself I could do it.” Leah hates the way your face softens, the way you automatically go into supportive mode, you remind her for the rest of the day how amazing she is, that she’s doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone not even herself. You hold her and tell her how amazing she is and she hates it.

But now it’s a second hand response she doesn’t think of it, doesn’t think twice of you caring for her that bit more, she doesn’t blink as it leads to more, she leads it to more every time and you go along with it, she needs this, your wife needs this and so you do it, and for a split second the world is alright.

She thinks she’s smart, that she never forgets to slip her ring back on, she tried to leave it on once but it felt so heavy and she panicked taking it off, it was her granny’s ring the one her grandpa gave to her on their wedding, she couldn’t do that to them, to the ring that had seen so much love.

Leah’s smart, she knows she’s smart but all it takes is one trip for the entire thing to come tumbling down.

She’s late home from running not by much but by enough that your suspicions arise, Leah doesn’t do late, early is late for Leah and so you wonder what takes her so long, she rush’s in moments later apologies thrown left and right and she pulls you into a heated kiss.

You want to tell her, you can’t wait to tell her but she’s all frazzled and not paying attention and if you say it now it won’t be as special and she’s not wearing her ring.

Wait she’s not wearing her ring, “Le darling where is your ring.” Leah freezes slightly before you watch her hand reach into her pocket pulling it out “sorry I took it off i think my fingers swelling from that handball in practice and I didn’t want it to get stuck.” You soften holding out your hand “oh Le I’ll get you some ice.” Leah hands over her ring and watch’s you slip it on top of your own so that you don’t lose it.

Leah sits down watching you walk around the kitchen, pulling you in to stand between her legs before pulling you into a kiss, “will you stop I have to pee” you hit her playfully before heading out the kitchen.

This isn’t Leah’s ring, it’s to light, sure it’s similar but it’s not it, you know this for a fact and as you slip it off and check for the engraving your heart drops, her grandparents initials aren’t on it, both your initials aren’t on it, it’s not her wedding ring.

Maybe she just misplaced it and is to scared to tell you. But it’s her granny’s ring, Leah loves that ring more than anything and she’s probably devastated that it’s gone.

Leah’s panicking she knows it’s not her ring and if she knows you definitely know. But she doesn’t expect you to come back so soft and understanding, “it’s ok we’ll find it where was the last place you had it.” HER house Leah thinks “eh-eh training I-I think I’m sorry darling I just I don’t know what to do.” That night ends like every night ends these days, and you think now is the perfect time to tell her in the darkness of your room but Leah just drops to the side and turns over whispering a goodnight as you stare at her.

You feel dirty every time this happens, you feel like a gross one night stand the way she turns away from you instead of pulling you closer like she used to but you put down to her being upset about her ring the same way you put it down to something else bothering her every time you end up in this situation.

Leah thinks she’s outsmarted you but as you lay there in bed reeling from the fact your wife hasn’t held you after sex in months, hasn’t told you how much she loves you as she brings you to climax and you can’t help but feel your heart grow heavy.

But as you lie there you can’t help but reply every possible reason why she’s like this, why she has been like this for a while now.

She does her daily runs, you guys go for your walks hand in hand as you talk the ear off her, but she’s never complained, Leah watches others pass you both by, this one girl runs past you both every weekend like clock work, you have noticed this a while ago and although you used to think it was a coincidence you’re starting to think otherwise.

She runs past you both every weekend always smiles at you, or at Leah more like, Leah’s hand gets lighter in your own every time, her grip isn’t as firm you think as you recall every walk in the park.

Leah doesn’t talk, she listens and watches, she watches her run around the park while you walk beside her.

Leah always gets a little weird after her runs, she’s more touchy, more soft, quieter, you thought it was just from the long runs. But now you second guess it.

Her ring is the first thing she’s misplaced tho you think to yourself, maybe that was at the training ground.

But you both tore it up the day after and found nothing and the Arsenal girls were none the wiser on it’s whereabouts. Leah goes for her run again that night and you feel this dread seep into your bones.

You feel sick to your stomach when the pieces all click in together, when you’re walking in the park Leah’s hand laced with yours, you try to stay normal talking about anything and everything but you stutter as SHE runs past and smiles at you, this time right at you not Leah, YOU.

Your eyes don’t stay on her face very long instead they are drawn to the gold circle resting on the chain around her neck, your eyes widen and you stop momentarily if Leah wasn’t holding your hand she wouldn’t have noticed it but she is and she did and she freezes too.

It’s on HER necklace, Leah’s wedding band is on that girls necklace and you feel nauseous as you try to continue your walk. Your wifes wedding ring is around that random girls neck, you know why but you don't want to-she's cheating, no she can't be she loves you, you're the love of her life, the one she wants everything with she's said so herself.

Leah’s cheating on you and it’s so plainly obvious now as you think back to it all, the first time you checked for her phone’s location and it said it was at a house across from the park, “oh it just give you a general location it’s not precise love.”

“I love you.” She whispers as she holds you from behind, “I know you do Le, and I’m so proud of you for beating your personal best but you don’t have to push yourself so hard, you’re perfect.”

“Yeah we could do dinner what time suits you guys.” You say happily excited to join Beth and Viv on a double date “6pm work.” Beth asks but before you can respond Leah shakes her head “sorry mate no can do, it’s my running time can we do after like 7:30 ?.” Beth looks at you then back at Leah “can’t you just skip it mate.” “No I have a schedule and I’m not changing it for you.”

You tap the table nervously “yeah we could do 8:45 am on Saturday, let me just say it to Leah.” “Leah.” You shout smiling as the older girl pokes her head around the door “they can fit us in at 8:45 on Saturday morning that works right.” Leah thinks for a moment torn, “I can’t baby it’s my running time remember.” You feel your heart drop “but it’s our check up to see if it’s taken Le surly you can just go after.” Leah shakes her head “do they have any other time.” You sigh “hi sorry ehm do you have anything else, 2pm Monday.” You look to Leah for confirmation she nods happily before disappearing back into the sitting room.

All the times she’s been consistent with her runs in that stupid park, her watch alerting you to the fact she has finished a workout shortly before 6:30 but she won’t be home till 7:10, her inability to hold you during sex anymore cause that’s all it is it’s just sex not making love like she used to say and it’s that silly circle hanging around that random girls neck that sets it all together. All the stupid pieces.

You don’t know what to do, don’t know how to bring it up this isn’t supposed to go like this, your life, your marriage but it is and you’re terrified of the aftermath so so terrified that you don’t realise how numb you’ve gone till you speak up.

Leah’s sat on the couch you’re tucked into her side “she’s gorgeous.” You say suddenly Leah hums in confusion “who’s gorgeous darlin.” You let out a shaky breath “the girl you’re sleeping with.” Leah goes tense immediately “I-i-wha-i Leah splutters trying to find the words “what girl.” You continue on your voice calm but still unsteady “the girl who wears your wedding ring around her neck”

Leah knows she’s lost now but it doesn’t help that her phone starts to ping with an in coming message “I-Y/n-I.” You shake your head getting up “I’m going out, I-i don’t know why, I don’t want to know why anymore I’m just, I can’t believe that you did after everything.”

Leah doesn’t move as you walkout still her mouth opens and closes trying to fathom I lie to rope you back in but her mind blank and you’re no longer in the garden.

Leah doesn’t hear from you for a week after that no idea if you’re ok. She doesn’t hear from anyone and instead off running away to the park SHE comes over Leah swears it’s to comfort her through this hard time but there is very little talking involved.

Leah doesn’t hear from you or anyone to caught up in her new bubble and it finally bursts as her mum crashes through the door “ you absolute idiot, you fucking idiot how did I raise you to be such an asshole that you would go and cheat on your wife.” Amanda’s attention is now turned to HER as she lies on your side of the bed “You are a fucking asshole Leah Williamson, I have never been so disappointed in you in my entire life.”

Leah’s lost still how did her mother know she hadn’t told her yet, sure she was going to but she was scared Amanda adores you, you’re perfect.

“I’ll be lucky if she lets me see the baby you asshole”

Baby ? Leah thinks, what baby. Suddenly it all comes back and SHES shoved away “She’s pregnant, Y/ns pregnant it-it worked”

Amanda huffs “you didn’t even know-you didn’t fucking know.” Leah shook her head “no.”

SHE lets out a huff running her hands over Leah’s arms “it’s ok baby we can have our own now, just like you promised.” And now it’s Leah’s turn to feel nausea. She never wanted kids with anyone else but you, this isn’t right, what she’s done to you to your future isn’t right but you’re gone and there’s nothing she can do about.

Leah’s smart but right now she’s the biggest idiot going. She’s lost you, lost you forever ?

[strapped-and-beheaded]

something I don't see people talk about with Sydney is their theme of accountability. They cannot take responsibility for their own desires.

no matter how corrupted they won't ever say they wanted this out loud, there is like 1 encounter they initiate, they need you to change their hair.

they did everything they did for the temple and for school and for their parent, nothing for themselves. then that devotion turns to you.

I think about their hair so much, they say "I keep my hair natural because Jordan likes it" they look at the magazines at the hairdresser longingly, you can't suggest anything they don't want. But they continue to say "thanks for changing my hair" I am probably not quoting it right but the wording was so delibarate, this is what YOU wanted, they are only happy they submitted to you.

the only event where they initiate the encounter, while working the sex shop together they cuff themselves in the basement and wait for you to "take advantage of them" all playful and cute (it is cute until they do it three times in a row in a day and you just want to get your +sirris love and leave)

if you uncuff them with high lust and corruption, they cuff you instead, and if you refuse here too they just, they freeze if you make noise and sirris gets you free. otherwise they just, leave, Sirris has to resque you, it's weird it's odd

I think Sydney kinda shuts off when you fully reject their advances because they are doing what YOU desire right? you made them like this, they're supposed to be an extention of you.(forever two as one? temple teachings at it again??) literally can't comprehend they had a single selfish impulse seperate from anyone else's expectations.

anyway Sydney is fucked in the head as anyone else in this town even tho they are my sweetiepie pookie bear they need mood stabilizers so so baddd

[mrromangladiator2503]

You will never be putting the human race at risk of extinction by deciding to not have children.

The right-wing "boomers" (I use that word loosely) argue in an emotional standpoint, mentioning how your parent, people from their generation, would be sad and distraught, how they'd die without ever feeling the touch of their 2nd generation, and... I think at this point you already know what I'm talking about.

But the thing is, they don't understand how we, the Gen Z, in the 21th Century, actually have the choice to decide what we want for ourselves. Back then, time were different and so were the opportunities and individual freedom, they never had the choice to NOT have kids, and so they grew old believing THAT is the true way of life and are trying to enforce it on us.

In fact, I'm fully convinced they don't care about our kids at all, and their true concerns are all revolved around the idea that it's the intrinsic human purpose to reproduce (Or some other right-wing ideal idk), which although true to an extent, it's NEVER your responsibility as an autonomous human being to have kids.

Don't pay attention to them, darling - live your life, love your kitties and always do what makes you happy.

(BTW: I'm a straight white man, raised by a single conservative father, and I DO plan on getting married and becoming a daddy one day - and even I am aware of the stupidity of that old idea. What does that tell you?)

The older generation's fixation on forcing you to have kids is something they absolutely refuse to unlearn. You can give the calmest and most reasonable explanation for not having kids and the only thing they can think to say is, "But what of the heir to the lands?" "Who will inherit the throne?" "Please sire upon your barren death there will be a parochial schism that will soak our soils with brother-blood." They literally hate to see you happy with just a cat.

[fairytaleendingss]

Room for One More?

Chapter 9

Summary: Secrets are revealed on New Years Eve.

CW: Alcohol consumption, sexual references, mention of cigarettes, swearing, lots of drama.

Pairing: Poly!Marauders x fem!reader

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8

--

"YOU SLEPT WITH SIRIUS?!"

"Shh! Mary keep your voice down," you uttered, looking around to see how many of your coworker's heads had swivelled towards you in response to Mary's loud exclamation.

"Sorry," she grimaced. "I'm just.. I'm in shock."

You sighed and leaned back where you were perched on the corner of her desk. "I think I am a bit as well."

There was a pause.

"Well, was it good?"

"Mary! Oh my god!" you groaned and threw a hand over your face to hide your mortification.

"What? I'm just asking. I can't say that I haven't imagined it once or twice myself-"

You slapped her gently across the shoulder with the back of your hand. "You're distrubed. You know that?"

She smirked. "You know you love me."

You rolled your eyes affectionately at your friend. "Anyway, we'd been drinking and it was Christmas and we were having such a wonderful time. I think we just got swept up in it all and now I don't know what to do. Things have been kind of... weird between us."

"Well have you guys talked about it?" Mary inquired.

"That's the thing. Afterwards he just kind of moved on like it never happened. I don't know if he thinks it was a mistake or something but it's stressing me out."

"Hmm," a thoughtful look crossed Mary's face as she took everything in. "Well how are you feeling about it? Do you think it was a mistake?"

You bit the inside of your cheek. "No? I-I don't think so. I dont know."

A look of realisation washed over Mary's face. "Do you like him??"

"I mean, of course I like him. I'm just not sure I like like him."

Your friend sighed exasperatedly. "Oh my god! We're not in Primary School, just answer the damn question!"

"Fine! I guess the answer is... yes?" you sighed. "But whatever! Does it even make a difference? He's made it exceptionally clear that he doesn't feel the same way."

"Look," Mary huffed, her expression growing sincere. "Sirius is great. He's fun and friendly and a total flirt but he's also been known to be a little emotionally constipated. Just be honest with him. Talk to him about it. He's not going to be able to pick up on any signals you're trying to send him."

You squeezed your eyes shut and let out a breath throught your nose. "Ugh fine."

"Good girl," Mary smiled. "Now go away. I actually have some work to get done today."

"Oh fine. I suppose I know when I'm not wanted," you teased, getting up and walking back towards your desk.

"Love you!" Mary called lightheartedly as you walked away.

"Yeah, yeah," you joked in response.

As you arrived back at your desk and slumped down in your chair, prepared to get back to work, a head peaked down at you over the cubical.

"Oh, you're back, I see."

You jumped slightly at the unexpected voice and looked up to see its perpertrator.

"Yes, Glenn. Hi. Is there anything I can help you with?"

Glenn was a new employee in your office and he sat in the cubical opposite yours. He was only a few years older than you and he was tall and fit with short blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. In the few weeks you'd known him for, he'd been particularly friendly towards you and recently you'd been getting the idea that he had taken a liking to you.

You weren't interested of course. He was an attractive guy but not really your type. And with everything going on with Sirius over the last week, you'd been making a effort to put some distance between you. You definitely weren't looking for anything of that nature right now and you didn't want to give him the wrong impression. However, Glenn was nothing if not persistant.

"Actually, I was just wondering if you had any plans for new years tonight? A few of my mates are throwing a party and you're welcome to join us if you're interested."

You sent him you're most empathetic smile. "That sounds lovely but unfortunately I already have some plans with my friends."

He sighed, flashing you a grin that looked suspiciously rehearsed. "Oh well. No problem. It was worth a shot. You have fun tonight."

"You too, Glenn."

As the man dissapeared back over the divider, you let out a heafty sigh. Tonight was surely going to be interesting.

--

The view was impeccable from the bar where your friends had gathered to spend New Years. In fact, seated beside a huge floor to ceiling window, you suspected you'd have a clear view of the New Years fireworks.

It was a classy joint, one that Dorcas had managed to get you access to through one of her fancy lawyer contacts.

Everyone was assembled on stools around a table, looking out over the London skyline. It was about four hours until midnight and the group was chatting excitedly in the lead up.

"I've got shots!" Mary called out and everyone cheered as she returned to the table with a tray.

She passed the drinks around and then took her seat beside you.

"Well, I suggest a toast!" James called out, grabbing the attention of the group. "To a wonderful year ahead, and many more memories with old, and new, friends!"

He emphasised the last line with a pointed look in your direction and you felt your cheeks growing hot.

"Cheers!" Marlene shouted enthusiastically and the others echoed her sentiments, clinking glasses and swallowing their drinks.

The burning of the liquor was welcomed as the drink ran down your throat. You'd been thinking a lot about what Mary had said to you in regards to your situation with Sirius. And as he sat beside you, laughing animatedly at one of Peter's stories, it only confirmed your worst fears. Maybe you were starting to develop feelings for your roommate. You grimaced at the thought. Things were bound to get messy in situations like this.

"So guys," Sybil piped up from across the table. "Let's all go around and say our New Years resolutions."

"Oh, I'll go first!" James volunteered. "I hope my team continues to play a great season annnddd... I want to work out more."

There was a collective groan.

"Come on, James. That's not a real one!" Mary complained.

Sirius chuckled, taking a pointed sip of his drink. "Yeah! You already work out like 7 times a day!"

"Ugh, okay fine!" James responded with groan. He thought for a moment. "How about this one. I'd like to fall in love this year."

You didn't miss the way his eyes flickered across the table towards Lily and you felt your heart sink. Lily seemed to take notice a well as she averted her eyes, taking a heafty gulp of the drink in her hand.

"Aww, James. Always the romantic, aren't you?" Marlene chuckled.

"Shut up." James rolled his eyes playfully. "Your turn then, Marls."

"Okay," She took a deep breath. "My goal this year is to become super rich and famous and sucessful."

"I second that!" Mary called across the table and you giggled as they clinked their glasses.

"Y/n. Your turn," Dorcas announced.

"Oh okay, um..." you thought for a moment, your gaze flashing to James and Remus across the table, then over to Sirius, who was watching you expectanly, a playlful glimmer in his stormy eyes.

You then looked back towards the rest of the group. "This year, I'd like to spend some more time with you lovely people."

A round of cooing echoed across the table and Mary threw her arms around you.

"Well aren't you just the sweetest!"

"Oh, and I'd like to work more on my novel," you added.

"Alright, alright. Sirius, you're up!" Marlene chimed.

The boy beside you pursed his lips, looking off into the distance as if deep in thought. Then, after a long moment, he turned back to all of you with a mischievous smirk on his lips.

"This year, I want to have lots of amazing sex!"

"Ew. Sirius, you're so foul," Lily exclaimed, followed by a symphany of similar sentiments from the other members of the group.

While everyone else was distracted, grumbling and groaning about Sirius' bluntness, the man leaned down towards you.

"You look great tonight, by the way." He whispered into your hair.

You gulped thickly, not quite sure what to do with yourself. You opted for downing the remainder of your Vodka, Lime and Soda.

--

As the evening drew on, you found yourself growing more anxious in Sirius' presence. You weren't quite sure what his game was, whether it was the alcohol or he was just feeling extra bold tonight, but he'd been suspiciously flirtatious.

You didn't know how to respond. Part of you wanted to let him. To let him woo you and go crawling back for more of what you'd had together on Christmas Night. However, the other, more logical part of you, told you that was a terrible idea. He was your roommate afterall. The last thing you wanted was to start some complicated friends-with-benefits situation with a guy you lived with, especially one that you had sort of, maybe, possibly had caught feelings for.

You downed another drink, feeling the alcohol grip you and hoped it would help to ease the nerves ever so slightly. You realised then, that you were staring.

Sirius had gone to the bar to order another round of drinks and you'd been watching with bated breath as he sent his signature smile to a girl wearing an explicitly tight black dress. You noticed the way she leaned forward, pressing her cleavage up against the bar as she spoke to him. God, could she be anymore obvious?

"Calm the hell down, y/n!" You thought to yourself. "It's not like you guys are together. He can flirt with whoever he wants."

"Hey, are you okay?" you raked your eyes away from the scene as a voice came from beside you.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine," You muttered absently, too distracted to notice that it was Remus who asked the question.

"Okay, never have I ever... made out with more than one person on the same night!" Mary's voice rang out and you forced your attention back to the group.

You weren't sure when this game had begun but you suspected it was suggested by one of the girls (likely Mary or Marlene) as a way to pass the final hour until midnight. You hadn't participated in this game since probably highschool, but you were all a few drinks in at this point so you figured, what the hell?

You watched as Marlene, James and Dorcas all took a sip. Then Lily sent Mary a pointed look.

"Come on, Mary. That's not how the game works. You have to say something you haven't done."

"I haven't!" Mary responded. Then she paused. "Oh wait, yeah I definitely have."

Everyone chuckled as she took a drink.

"Alright! Dorcas! Your turn." Mary nudged the girl in the side.

Dorcas rolled her eyes. "For the record, I just want to say, I think this game is stupid."

"Come on babe. Don't be a party pooper!" Marlene exclaimed, leaning in towards her girlfriend. "How else are we supposed to learn everyone's deepest darkest secrets."

Dorcas sighed and shook her head but there was a hint of a smile on her face. She really could never say no to Marlene.

"Ugh, fine. Never have I ever stolen something."

"Well that's a hard one," Mary muttered. "What do we count as stealing? Because I've stolen stuff from James a ton of times."

"Oi!" James shouted, looking positively affronted. Mary sent him an apologetic smile.

"No, not like that," Dorcas clarified. "It had to have been from an actual shop."

You all sat up straight for a moment, curiously looking around the group to see if anyone had. Hesitantly, Peter lifted his glass to his lips.

"Pete! What the hell!" James exclaimed.

"I don't know, I went through a phase in highschool!"

"What sort of stuff did you take?" Marlene pressed.

Peter shrugged. "Chocolate and ciggarettes, mostly."

There was an eruption of laughter that rippled across the table at Peter's revelation.

"Wow, I didn't know there was a degenerate among us," Lily teased, watching Peter's face flush bright red.

"Okay, okay. My turn!" Marlene said, once the laughter died down. "Never have I ever... gotten really sloshed and fallen down the stairs at my 18th birthday party"

"Hey! That's not fair!" James moaned, taking a sip of his beer. "You can't do targeted ones!"

Marlene just shrugged. "Sorry, but I don't think that was established in the rules."

James smirked. "Fine then! Never have I ever had sex with someone at this table."

Your blood ran cold for a moment as you glanced back towards the bar. You sighed in relief when you saw that Sirius was still over there. In that case, you technically hadn't slept with anyone at the table. You were off the hook for now.

Marlene rolled her eyes at James and took a drink, as well as Dorcas, Peter and Sybil, however, you watched James' eyes widen as Mary also took a long sip.

"Mary!" Lily hissed across the table. Your heart plummeted.

"What?" Mary shrugged, the alcohol clearly having gone to her head. "We have to! It's the rules."

"Wait! Hold on," Marlene murmered, her eyes drifting between the two girls. "Did you guys..."

There was a heavy anticipatory silence that hung over the table as you all awaited Lily's response. The girl grimaced, as she tried to muster some kind of explanation.

It was then that her eyes drifted up to meet James' pleading ones.

"Lily?" the boy asked softly. Your heart broke for him.

"So I guess the cat's out of the bag huh?" the girl sighed. "Mary and I have sort of been seeing each other. Romantically."

"Holy shit!" Marlene shouted, candid and straight to the point as she usually was in these situations.

"How long has this been going on?" Dorcas questioned.

"It's still really new," Lily explained.

"We were just trying to figure out the right time to tell you guys," Mary added.

"So you're the one Mary has been seeing?" James murmered.

"Yes," Lily responded. "I'm sorry James but you had to know it was never going to work out between us."

The boy sighed, running a hand through his unruly curls. "Yeah, I know."

Then he started to stand. "I think I just need some air for a minute."

"James, wait-" Remus reached out to grab his arm but James shook him off.

"I just need minute," he repeated, grabbing his coat from the back of his chair and hurrying towards the exit. Part of you wanted to go after him but the other part recognised that he probably needed some space to process things.

"Sorry, everyone. I didn't mean to ruin the night," Mary murmered folornly.

"No hun! you didn't ruin anything," you comforted.

"Yeah, we're really happy for you two," Dorcas added.

"Really?"

Everyone nodded.

"Absolutely. You both deserve to be happy," Remus confirmed.

Wide smiles crossed over the girls' faces.

--

It was two minutes until midnight and Sirius was nowhere to be seen. Despite your better judgement, you couldn't help but feel slightly disapointed. You supposed that there was some small aspect of your mind that hoped Sirius would be your New Years kiss.

You knew it was wishful thinking, especially when you hadn't even spoken about what happened between you, but with how he'd been acting towards you throughout the night, you'd allowed yourself to nurture that flicker of hope.

As people crowded around the window and the countdown began, you found your eyes searching the room for the dark haired man, wondering if just maybe, he'd make a last minute appearance.

"Five, four, three, two..."

You scanned the space one last time.

"One!"

You're last flicker of hope died out as your eyes finally landed on his form.

"Happy New Year!"

The shouts and cheers faded into the background as you watched Sirius press his lips to those of the boob-y blonde you'd seen him flirting with before.

The moment seemed to go in slow motion. You watched from afar as he tangled his hand in her hair, just as he'd done in yours only a week prior.

"Of course," you thought. "Typical"

It was Sirius Black you were talking about. You were stupid to think you meant anything more to him than a casual night of fun.

In an instant, you turned on your heel and walked towards the door, the sounds of the party fading into the background. You decided, instead of bumming around waiting for Sirius to notice you, you'd go look for James, just as you should've done much earlier.

The cold hit you like a block of cement as you stepped outside onto the street. It didn't take you long to find him.

He was sitting on the curb, outside of he bar, arms resting on his knees as he looked up towards the sky. Another explosion sounded and a flash of colour filled the air. In the distance, you could hear the cheers of excited people all around as they celebrated.

"Happy New Year, James."

He turned to look at you and in the flash of light, as another firework flickered across the sky, you were able to notice the faint tear tracks that lined his cheeks.

"Oh hey." he sniffled, rubbing a hand beneath his glasses and trying to regain a semblance of composure.

BANG!

You flopped unceremoniously onto the ground beside him as another flash filled the sky. You gave him a sympathetic smile. Funnily enough, in that moment, you knew exactly how he felt.

"Are you okay?" You asked him gently.

He let out a dry chuckle. "Yeah. I will be."

BANG!

"Good."

You both turned your gazes back to the display, taking in the beautiful array of colours filling the air. It wasn't quite the view you'd expected for the night, but somehow, that didn't seem to matter.

As you continued to watch the fireworks, you felt the gentle touch of a hand wrapping around your own. You smiled slightly as your fingers intertwined.

BANG!

Slowly, you shuffled closer and leaned into him, gently resting your head on James broad shoulder.

You stayed like that a while, just taking in the show, and each other's company.

--

Taglist:

@hisparentsgallerryy @navs-bhat @shushbruv @magicwithaknife @eeviee4 @notapoetjustscar @gugggu6gvai @robertsmithclone @ilovesugurugeto69 @taytayy178 @its-notkiee @bugworldsworld @switchingfandomslikecrazy @evangelquill, @delusional-4-fake-people, @ch4rlotte35, @insideoutjulie, @hiireadstuff, @laniirackssss, @starrystormwritings, @strategicsweetheart, @1800brat, @sammyreid, @frootloops1213, @ill-be-okay-soon-enough

[siasthoughts]

↳ ❝ [ i missed you. ] ¡! ❞

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ IN SYLUS' LANGUAGE.

CONCEPT; SYLUS WON'T ACCEPT BEING LEFT ON DELIVERED, SO HE GIVES YOU A VISIT TO REMIND YOU OF WHO HE IS.

TOPICS; gn!reader . relentless sylus . confrontation . teasing . i am NOT making him say kitten . implied you guys acc do it after this . foreplay

sylus is NOT a full on rough man, i REPEAT sylus is NOT a full on rough man!! when i write for him again, it's gna b subjective and situational 🙄

⊂⊃ RAFAYEL VERSION

sylus groans, his lip twitching as he sits at his plush velvet couch, staring down at his phone. still no reply. all his calls, texts, gifts that he sent to your door, and no response? his grip on his phone tightens, for a moment he thought he'd break his phone.

he sighs, calming himself down as he throws his phone onto the coffee table in front of him as he runs a hand down his face, throwing his head back. what could you be possibly doing that's more important than him?

that's it. he won't be taking more of this.

he stands, his silk robe wrapped just loosely around his waist as he walks over to his wardrobe, picking out a simple black dress shirt with black pants. not responding to me? he thinks arrogantly, who do you think you are? he snatches his phone and keys from the coffee table and headed out, slamming his door behind him.

he kicks the stand of his motorcycle up, and hovers to take a seat. he twists the keys and turns on the engine, revving it up and making his way out of his garage. he speeds past the empty streets, it's 11pm after all. he doesn't care anymore if you're sleeping, he just needs your damn attention.

after just a few moments, he arrives at your apartment building, pulling up into the parking lot and turning off the engine. he quickly takes down the stand with practiced ease and tucked his keys into his pocket, making his way into the lobby. he calls for the elevator and clicks for your floor, his patience burning faster and faster as he grips his phone, hoping he'd at least receive something, anything from you.

the elevator doors open and he doesn't waste a second to hurry out, his steps calculated yet hasty as he heads for your flat. he reaches your door, taking a deep breath as he rings your doorbell once.

...nothing.

he rings it the second time, and now, he finally hears shuffling steps.

on the other side of the door, you groggily get up from your sleep, slipping into your sandals to head to the door. you freeze in your steps.

"i know you're there."

he groans out, leaning on the door frame with his arm against the wall, his muscles tense as he pulls his hand into a fist. fuck, what do you do? he will probably think the truth is just a flimsy excuse! you sigh, making him wait isn't gonna help at all anyway.

you hesitantly wrap your fingers on the doorknob, unlocking it. sylus' eyes snap down to the knob, a small smirk playing at his lips as you finally open the door. "goodevening, sweetheart." he greets, his voice raspier than usual as he stares down at you, his eyes demanding answers.

"good-good evening to you too, sy..." you reply nervously, keeping your eyes on the ground as your palms sweat against the metal of your doorknob, "that's all?" he smiles sarcastically, holding your chin in between his fingers and tilting your head up to face him.

"least you can do is look me in the eye don't you think?" he huffs, pushing you both inside, making you stumble and hurriedly step back as he shuts the door behind him. he keeps pushing both of you back till you hit a wall. "you've been getting bolder, sweetheart." he whispers, cupping your cheek as you swallow your breath. "to leave me talking to a damn wall like that." a low chuckle rumbles from his chest, sending shivers across your skin.

"sylus, i didn't mean to... i-i was just too packed with work." you stutter, making it even less believable. "i'm sure, you've somehow even been avoiding mephistos line of view." he murmurs, his hand trailing down to the side of your neck. "no really, i-" he cuts you off as he sweeps you off your feet, throwing you over his shoulders.

"he-hey! i swear! i was just too busy!" you repeat helplessly, patting his back as you flail your legs. he just replies with a quiet grunt as he walks into your bedroom, softly throwing you onto the bed. you look up at him, moving to sit up before you feel a firm hand on your stomach, pressing you down.

he pulls you closer to the edge of the bed, your legs just hanging off as he places a knee in between them, "doesn't change the fact you've left me ...wanting, sweetie." he whispers, leaning his face close to yours as his thumb swipes against your bottom lip. "i'm sorry, sy... really." you plead desperately as your hand finds his wrist, gripping gently.

"it might be too late for that..." he laughs, inching his thumb into your mouth as he grinds his knee against you, you find your hips responding by instinctively grinding back. "look... maybe you wanted to rile me up on purpose?" he hums, bringing his other hand to your thigh, caressing the soft skin. he relishes your reactions, feeling his own arousal grow in his pants.

he pulls his fingers from your mouth, making you pant for air. "no... that's not..." was all you could say before he brings his lips onto yours, hungrily sucking against your bottom lip. you feel his tongue invade your mouth, tasting you. all while his hand deftly unbuckled his belt, he pulls away briefly, staring down at you. "the next time you do this, sweetheart, you won't be getting a chance to breathe." his vocie was calm yet filled with threat and intimidation as his hands greedily move to sneak up under your shirt.

his finger pinch around the sensitive buds of your chest, making you whine as you squirm under him, "will you leave me in the dark again, sweetie?" he cockily asks, knowing what your answer will already be anyway. "n-no..." you breathlessly respond.

you don't know what it is. but you know for a fact, this isn't the last of his passive aggressive approaches to confrontation.

𓆩♡𓆪

╰┈➤ END OF PAGE! RETURN HOME?

[pretty-little-mind33]

Count Alexei Vronsky x fem!reader

Summary: You're forced into an arranged marriage.

Genre: fluff, angsty

Warnings: Alexei is kind of an asshole in the beginning, reader is from France, the daughter of a Marquis, and she is described as having hair that can be pinned up and curled (otherwise no descriptions), sexism of the time (very mild)

~ thank you anon! sorry this too forever (this was requested ages ago)!! ~

COUNT VRONSKY MASTERLIST

As you brush your hair in the mirror of your vanity, staring unemotionally at the girl staring back, your mother's words ring in your ear. "Love, beautiful love, can be learned, ma chérie (my love)," she'd promised, as her hand lay on your nervous knee, smoothing her thumbs over the crinkled skirt of your lavender dress, the fabric bunched up from hours of carriage riding. 

"I did not love your father when I met him. Not in the beginning." Your mother smiled and continued, "But, when it finally happened—and it will for you too—I could not imagine myself without him." 

And you did believe her. Up until you took your first step on Count Vronksy's estate, the sun hot and warm on your skin, you listened to your mother's proclamations of true love with attention and yearning. 

You still want to believe her even now.

Your future husband's lips had felt so foreign on your upper palm, the feeling more like a courtesy than something intimate. He hadn't said a word, minus the polite greetings that frankly don't count in those situations, as he stood beside his mother wearing an oddly vacant expression. The blue shine of his eyes mirrored an ocean you imagined losing yourself in, but one you couldn't yet reach. 

You suppose you should feel incredibly lucky that he didn't turn out to be some old, hideous, nobleman with crooked teeth and chapped lips. You certainly did feel lucky that the only reputation he had was player tendencies and fleeting infidelities—which your mother promised you could be dampened with time and care. 

"He will be a good husband to you, mon amour (my love). Give him time."

Your mother sounded so sure, but you didn't know how much time your heart could handle without breaking.

Across the house, Count Alexei Vronsky paces his bedchamber, his white chemise hung loosely over his shoulders as he practically tugs at his blond curls. His mind races with countless scenarios and possibilities as he plays the memory of meeting you on an endless loop. 

"Alexei," His mother, Countess Vronskaya, chastises as she sits on his bed, her lips pursed. "You are acting like a spoiled child. Sit down." 

Her youngest son shakes his head, his voice coming out strained. "I cannot do this, Mama," he says, meaning every word. "I do not know her. I cannot love someone I do not know!"

"Love?" Countess Vronskaya scoffs, staring at him with sharp eyes, "What on earth has put that silly word into your head? And don't tell me it was your little affair from a few months ago—oh, the shame—" she fans her lace fan faster and then shuts it and abruptly lays it onto her lap.

"Alexei, love does not exist. Responsibility, on the other hand, does. It is your responsibility to make up for your mistakes and this is the solution. Marriage. Besides," she fans herself again, "You can easily have Mistresses, I am not denying you that so please, stop this nonsense at once."

"I do not want any Mistresses!" Alexei exclaims, his frustration growing.

Countess Vronskaya stares at her son with an expression of annoyance and disbelief. "Then what, pray, do you want? To bring further scandal upon this family with your childish rebellion? You will marry this girl. It is not a request but an order."

Alexei drops to his bed, his head held pitifully in his hands as he calms his breathing. He pretends he's anywhere but here, his mind focusing on how the wind against his window sounds like waves crashing onto sand. 

One. Breath in.

Two. Breath out.

Three. Breath in.

"I understand, Mama," he whispers, knowing he has no choice in the matter. 

* * *

One. Breath in.

Two. Breath in.

Three. Breath in.

"Maman, it's too tight, I cannot breathe," you whimper as you press a palm on your stomach, feeling slightly light-headed as the maids tighten your corset and slip over your periwinkle dress, the silk sliding over your shoulder as one hangs delicately to the side. It's a simple dress, minus the puffs and ruffles. "Beauty is pain," your mother says, nodding her head as the maids continue to dress you up. 

They pin up your hair with a silver pin and wrap your neck in pearls, adding earrings to finish the look. "Charmante, ma chérie (Beautiful, my dear)," your mother admires as she stands and pushes a stray curl behind your ear.

"Il va t'adorer (He'll adore you)."

You focus on her promise as you walk down the grand staircase and enter the ballroom, which is illuminated by golden chandeliers and sparkling candles. The event looks lavish and it seems to you that Countess Vronskaya had invited all of Russian Society for the announcement of your marriage. Your stomach churns with nerves as you glance around the room. You don't know how to introduce yourself to the women who stare judgmentally from behind their fans. 

Your mother takes your arm and leads you to the center, where Count Vronsky stands beside his mother again, chatting ideally with some other aristocrats. Upon seeing your arrival, he turns and you hold out your hand, his lips brushing your skin in the same fleeting manner as it had earlier. 

"Good evening, Lady Y/l/n," he says, looking you over and you wonder if you look unpresentable from the way he's staring. His gaze then shifts to your mother. "Marquise Y/l/n."

You smile up at him. "Good evening, Count Vronsky," you say and then smile at his mother, "Countess—" You swallow your words when she sees your dress and her frown deepens. 

"What is this?" she asks with a hiss, her voice low. Alexei tenses from beside her. 

"I beg your pardon?" you whisper, eyes wide with confusion as your mother's frown deepens.

"Your dress. It isn't suitable for an occasion like this," Countess Vronskaya almost snarls, looking around the ballroom and then her eyes land on you again. "You look positively underdressed!" She sounds completely taken aback and almostdisgusted as she looks you up and down. You feel stupid and exposed, hearing her tell you this in front of your future husband. You don't dare look at him.

Your mother takes the fall. "I didn't know this wouldn't be suitable for this occasion, Countess Vronskaya. In France—" The Countess sends her a dirty look, clearly having no patience for any explanations.

Your mother exhales, "I assure you, Countess, the fault lies with me. I misjudged the attire. I apologize for my mistake," she says with a forced smile, pushing on your back to move you closer to Alexei—who still hasn't said a word. "Our children should have a dance, shouldn't they?" 

You look up at Alexei, your chest tightened as you make eye contact. Countess Vronskaya doesn't seem pleased but she nods and Alexei holds out his arm, his lips still shut as he stares in front of him.

You hesitate but take his arm as he leads you onto the dance floor and begins the dance, his hand around your waist. You try to remember the moves and once you're finally comfortable, the dance is suddenly over.

"I–" 

Alexei interrupts you with yet another chaste kiss to your hand and then he spins around, his posture as composed as it always is. He excuses himself and walks to make conversation with other guests, leaving you all alone. 

You stare at him, blinking back tears. How are you supposed to love him if he won't even talk to you? You feel hopeless as you stand there, feeling stupid and lonely in your dress.

So lonely. 

* * *

Alexei's knee bounces impatiently as he waits. You're over thirty minutes late. None of your maids have seen you and neither has your mother. His mind flashes back to last night; your pretty smile, the sound of your voice and the curls in your hair—the ones that had gotten slightly messy with the constant movement of your head. He feels a tightness in his chest. 

Where are you?

The thunder cracks outside, the rain pouring against the window of the parlor. It's a dreadful day and it only creates a pit in his stomach at your disappearance. Something is wrong.

"Should I fetch your mother?" One of the maids asks timidly when, ten minutes later, you still haven't shown up. Alexei takes a breath and shakes his head, he stands and holds his head in one hand. 

"No need, it's fine, I'll—" 

He's interrupted by the sound of a familiar neigh-ing outside the window. His head snaps around and his eyes widen. "Frou-Frou?!" he gasps, seeing his horse out in the rain. His eyes widen even more when he sees familiar hair blowing messily in the wind and rain, covered only by a flimsy cloak.

He stands and runs outside, ignoring the calls from the confused maid. All he can think of is Frou-Frou and you. Frou-Frou doesn't do well with strangers and Alexei knows that the slightest jerky movement could startle him and he could unintentionally hurt you. You. Why would you steal his horse? In a thunderstorm no less? 

Are you running away?

"Y/n!" he screams into the yard. You're approaching the fence but Frou-Frou's never ridden outside of the manor without him. Alexei breaks into a run and curses when Frou-Frou makes a jerky movement, kicking you from his back as you scream. The rain is blurring Alexei's vision now as his white shirt becomes soaked. His hair is sticking to his forehead as mud from the grass sticks to his boots. You've fallen into the mud and grass, your skirt heavy under the extra weight of the rain.

Seeing him run up, you try to stand to run but the mud slows you down and you fall again. Frou-Frou panics from the rain and the situation and he runs off. "Damnit," Alexei curses, hesitating. He knows Frou-Frou isn't going to leave the grounds without him, so he turns and grabs you under your armpits. "What is wrong with you?!" he hisses as thunder cracks again. You kick your feet, mud splattering his trousers and Alexei's chest tightens when he sees the tears in your eyes. 

"Don't touch me!" you hiss, hitting him as you try to stand in the mud. 

"What were you thinking?" he demanded, pulling you upright. "Were you attempting to flee?"

"Why should it concern you?" you spat, wrenching your arm from his grasp.

"Because you are my betrothed!"

"And you do not love me," you hiss. Your heart is thumping and you hate how pretty he looks, wet and disheveled. You hate how your heart reacts to him in ways you're sure his doesn't when he looks at you.

Alexei groans, his head already hurting from this entire situation. He just holds you tighter. "You are correct—I do not know you well enough to claim such feelings for you. But I do not wish to see you harmed, running recklessly into a storm! My God, you already drive me mad! How am I supposed to tame you?" 

He sighs, his voice drifting when he realizes he's said the wrong thing as your expression twists into one of pure anger. You hit him with your palm, mud flying into his hair. 

"Tame me? Is that how you see me?"

"No, wait, I didn't mean it like that," he tries to explain, shielding himself as he keeps his hold on you. You're so different from when he'd met you yesterday when you'd been on your best behavior— he groans when you pull away, only to slip and fall.   

You shriek when he falls over you, the rain still pouring on you both. It's almost comedic now, your dress and his chemise a mess of dirt, mud, and rainwater. "Lady Y/l/n, please," Alexei tries again, struggling to get you to listen to him. 

Once he's leaning over you, his knees digging in the dirt as he holds your hands beside your head, he whispers; "My darling, please, you misunderstand me." 

You're breathing heavily now, your gaze intense. 

"I do not love you, but that doesn't mean it has to be like this our whole lives," he whispers, not sounding quite like himself. He lifts one arm, finger gently tracing your cheek as he slides the mud away. "It does not mean I want to see you hurt, running off in a storm with my horse." 

You calm your breathing and when you move to sit up, he does the same and you both catch your breaths. The rain is soaking you both, the cold air chilling your skin, and you watch him. He doesn't look as distant anymore. His skin is smeared in mud and his blond hair is askew. You push some wet strands of hair away from your eyes, half wishing he would have just let you run away. 

As the storm begins to calm and the rain softens to a gentle drizzle, Alexei's breathing is calm.

"I did not mean to frighten you," you murmur, your voice barely audible. "I just—I feel so out of place. As if I don't belong here. As if I don't belong with you in your world."

His expression flickers, and for the first time, you see a vulnerability he's been keeping hidden beneath his polished exterior. "Do you think I don't feel the same?" he asks quietly, his voice raw. "I have spent my life pretending to be the man everyone expects me to be. I have never been what anyone truly needs. I am not fit to be a good husband."

The honesty in his words sends a sharp hurt through your chest. "Then why chase after me?" you ask, your voice shaky. "Why not let me leave if you feel the same way?"

Alexei hesitates, then with a deep breath, he moves a little closer, his eyes searching yours. "Because," he begins, "when I saw you out here, stubborn and fearless in this storm, I realized something. You might be the only person brave enough to truly see me. And if I let you leave, then I would regret it until the day I die."

The rain has nearly stopped now, the storm's fury replaced by a stillness that feels almost unreal. You're unsure what to say, your chest tightening with the weight of his confession. For a moment, neither of you moves. The distance between you feels both vast and insignificant, the air thick with something that will probably remain unnamed.

Then, almost tentatively, Alexei leans in, the lips that had barely let themselves brush your hand, now kiss your forehead. You inhale.

"We can figure this out," he murmurs against your skin. "Together. Please do not run anymore. I can do better, for you."

You close your eyes, the weight of his words settling in your heart as you take them in. A moment passes and then you force a small smile, leaning into him as you nod.

"Okay. Let's go find Frou-Frou then," you whisper, earning a smile from Alexei. Your smile widens a little. Maybe your mother was right—maybe love could be learned. And perhaps, just perhaps, it could start here.

[seanminfl]

It was a chilly night in January when my little brother, Jake, and I were sitting in the living room watching TV. Dad was in bed, sick with a terrible cold, and mom was out grocery shopping.

"Hey, Alex," Jake said, looking over at me with a sly grin. "I've got this itch that needs scratching, and you know how desperate I am."

I raised an eyebrow, curious about what he meant. "Oh yeah? What kind of itch?"

"The kind that I usually force dad to take care of," he replied, his gaze now fixed on me. I was well aware of how my little brother loved to use my dad as his personal sex toy.

I couldn't help but blush at his boldness. "Jake, what are you talking about? You know I'm not into that stuff."

He scoffed, waving off my concerns dismissively. "I don’t care. I just want a cocksucker right now and you are the only person here who isn’t sick."

I tried to argue, but Jake had already made up his mind. He dropped his jeans to the floor, showing off his massive dick. "Get on your knees, Alex," he commanded.

I hesitated for a moment, but I could already feel my mouth watering at the sight of his thick cock. With a deep breath, I slowly lowered myself onto the floor, positioning myself between Jake's legs.

"That's a good boy," Jake cooed, stroking his shaft as he looked down at me. "Now, open that pretty little mouth of yours and show me how well you can suck cock."

I obeyed, parting my lips and taking the head of his dick into my mouth. Jake let out a groan of pleasure, his grip on his cock tightening as I began to suck him off.

"Fuck, yeah," he growled, thrusting his hips forward to push more of his length into my mouth. "You're a natural at this, aren't you?"

I moaned around his cock, the taste of his precum coating my tongue. I reached up to cup his balls, gently massaging them as I continued to suck him.

"Play with my asshole too," Jake panted, his voice raw with lust. "I want to feel your fingers probing my hole while I fuck your face."

I did as he asked, sliding one hand down between his legs and pressing my index finger against his tight pucker. As I worked my finger back and forth against his opening, Jake let out a low, guttural moan.

"Fuck, you dirty little slut," he hissed, grabbing a fistful of my hair and using it to control the pace of my blowjob. "You're going to make me cum so fucking hard, aren't you?"

I could only moan in response, my own dick now rock-hard and throbbing painfully in my pants. I knew I shouldn't enjoy this so much, but there was no denying the intense arousal I felt at being Jake's personal little cocksucker.

"I'm going to breed that slutty little mouth of yours," Jake panted, his breathing now ragged and shallow. "You're going to swallow every fucking drop of my hot, sticky cum."

With a final thrust, Jake's cock twitched violently inside my mouth, and I felt the first hot spurt of his seed splash against the back of my throat. I instinctively swallowed around him, eager to please my dominant older brother.

"Aaaah, fuck, yeah," Jake groaned, his hips jerking spasmodically as he grabbed my head with both hands and pushed me deep onto his cock as he continued to pump his load into my waiting mouth. "That's it, you little cumdump. You're such a good cockslut for me."

When he was finally finished, Jake pulled his softening dick from between my lips, a satisfied smile now playing across his handsome face. "Well, well," he said, looking down at me with a smug grin. "I must say, I'm quite impressed with your performance tonight."

I blushed fiercely, unable to meet his gaze as I felt a mixture of shame and desire swirling within me as I used my tongue to clean his cock. "Thanks, I guess," I mumbled, still reeling from the intensity of what had just happened between us.

"Don't mention it," Jake replied. "Looks like I now have two mouths to use when I want to pump out a load. Might even start using that tight ass of yours as well.”

I nodded mutely, knowing that any protests I might make would fall on deaf ears. And as I felt Jake's cum continue to trickle down my throat, I couldn't help but admit to myself that there was a part of me that secretly enjoyed being used like this by my powerful, aggressive younger brother.

For more follow @xxxstudssss

[arixella]

Tension in the Cabin

╰┈➤ pairing: Law x GN! reader

a/n: none

summary: Trafalgar Law teases you in his usual cool, calculated manner during a quiet evening aboard the Polar Tang, but the tension between you leads to a gentle yet electrifying kiss that leaves you both breathless.

wc: 760

contains: suggestive🌹

The Polar Tang was unusually quiet for the evening, the hum of the submarine’s engines providing a steady backdrop to the calm. Most of the crew had retired for the night, leaving you with a rare moment of solitude in the captain’s quarters—well, almost solitude.

Trafalgar Law sat across from you, his ever-present fur-lined hat resting on the table beside him. He was leaning back in his chair, one leg crossed over the other, with a book in hand. The dim lighting cast shadows across his sharp features, making him look even more intimidating than usual.

You tried to focus on the paperwork in front of you, but your attention kept wandering back to him. It wasn’t fair how effortlessly alluring he could be, sitting there completely unaware of the effect he had on you. Or maybe he was aware, and that smug little smirk he wore when he caught you staring wasn’t just your imagination.

"You’ve been staring for the past five minutes," Law said, his deep voice cutting through the silence.

Your cheeks flushed immediately. "I haven’t!"

He raised an eyebrow, lowering his book slightly to meet your gaze. "Lying to your captain? That’s dangerous."

You rolled your eyes, trying to focus back on the paperwork. "I’m not lying. You’re imagining things."

"Hmm." His tone was skeptical, and the faint smirk tugging at the corner of his lips didn’t help your flustered state.

You tried to ignore him, determined to finish your work, but the weight of his gaze was impossible to ignore. You could feel it—sharp and probing, like he was dissecting you with his eyes alone.

Finally, you couldn’t take it anymore. "Do you need something, Law? Or are you just enjoying making me uncomfortable?"

He closed his book with a deliberate slowness, setting it down on the table before standing. Your heart skipped a beat as he made his way over to you, his long shadow falling across your desk.

Leaning down, he placed a hand on the back of your chair, trapping you in place as he tilted his head to look at you more closely.

"You’re awfully defensive tonight," he said, his voice dropping to a low murmur. "Did I do something to bother you?"

You swallowed hard, your pulse quickening at the proximity. His face was so close now, you could feel the warmth of his breath on your skin.

"You know exactly what you’re doing," you said, your voice quieter than you intended.

His smirk widened just a fraction, his golden eyes glinting with amusement. "Do I?"

There was a charged silence between you, the kind that made the air feel heavier. He was close enough now that you could see the faint stubble along his jawline, the intricate details of his tattoos, the way his lips curved ever so slightly as he watched you squirm under his gaze.

"You’re impossible," you muttered, turning your head away to hide the heat creeping up your neck.

Law chuckled softly, the sound sending a shiver down your spine. "And yet, you’re still here."

Before you could formulate a response, his fingers brushed your chin, gently turning your face back toward him. His golden eyes searched yours for a moment, the teasing glint giving way to something softer, more serious.

"Maybe I am impossible," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, "but you don’t seem to mind."

Your breath hitched as he leaned in, the space between you shrinking until there was nothing left. His lips met yours in a kiss that was surprisingly gentle, his hand sliding to the back of your neck to pull you closer.

The warmth of his touch, the softness of his lips—it was all consuming, leaving you lightheaded and breathless. You found yourself reaching up to clutch at the front of his shirt, grounding yourself as the kiss deepened.

When he finally pulled away, his lips lingered close to yours, his forehead resting lightly against yours.

"Still distracted?" he asked, his voice low and teasing.

You couldn’t help but laugh softly, your cheeks flushed. "Completely."

He smirked, brushing a thumb along your jawline. "Good. Now, finish your work. I’ll let you focus—for now."

You groaned, swatting lightly at his chest as he stepped back, that infuriatingly smug expression firmly in place.

"Don’t push your luck, Captain," you muttered, though your smile gave you away.

Law chuckled, returning to his chair and picking up his book. But this time, as he resumed reading, you couldn’t help but notice the faint flush on his cheeks and the small, genuine smile playing at his lips.

♡♡♡

[holyblonded]

baby fever | birds of a feather

parings: paige bueckers x black!oc, irene paredes x platonic!oc

summary: while paige is in spain for the summer, she and cecilia babysit mateo for irene

warning: mentions of knives and i think that’s it tell me if i am wrong

notes: this was genuinely the cutest thing to write 🙏🏾 manito is short for hermanito

Cecilia laid on the dune sofa in her apartment, her long legs were placed over Paige's lap as said blonde sat in a cloud of anxiety.

"Baby, are you sure everything will be okay? We've never been responsible for a human that wasn't one of my siblings," Paige voiced her worries to the striker next to her.

Cecilia sent Paige a warm smile. "Don't worry Amor. Mateo is basically my sibling and he's a relatively easy toddler. You just have to play legos with him and he's fine. Oh! Recently he's been into outer space so entertain him on that topic-"

Cecilia's ramble was cut off by the doorbell followed by a rhythmic, yet familiar knock. Once Cecilia moved out, Alexia insisted that there should be a certain knock that all younger and veteran players know for security reasons. Many members like Irene take it seriously— Cecilia hated the knock, which ironically was the beat of the Barcelona Anthem song.

"That's Irene and Lucía," Cecilia announced as her feet carried her towards the door with Paige following close behind. Before Cecilia could open the door, it was opened by a visibly disappointed Irene and a smiling Lucía holding an excited toddler.

"Maitea (sweetheart), why is your door unlocked?" Irene fussed. "That's very dangerous, you don't know who's around."

"There's no one else around," Cecilia deadpanned and she wasn't wrong. Across the hall, the only other people on her floor was Jana and Kika who were both currently home. Not to mention the whole complex was high security.

"Eso no importa (that doesn't matter)," Irene insisted. "Se trata de su seguridad (it's about your safety)."

"Ay, stop fussing, Irene. Cari is grown," Lucía argued in honor of the now twenty year old who she handed over Mateo to. The boy plopped his head down on Cecilia's shoulder and looked at Paige who smiled at him. Mateo smiled back but shoved his face into her neck and waved back at Paige.

"Thanks again for watching him, Cari," Lucía thanked, placing a kiss on Cecilia and Mateo's forehead "Thank you, Paige. Bye, loves."

"Thank you, Paige," Irene followed her wife's lead placing a kiss on the young ones foreheads before closing the door and using a button to lock it.

Cecilia turned around with Mateo in her arms, "Hey, Manito (brother) . Do you remember Paige?"

Mateo shyly nodded, remembering the girl from the celebration party for the championship win the other day.

"Hey, Mateo," Paige greeted as Mateo slightly peaked out from his hiding spot. "Want to play with legos?"

This obviously piqued Mateo's interest as he squirmed to be released from Cecilia's hold and grabbed Paige's hand to pull her towards the Lego bin Cecilia had for him.

Paige sat cross-legged on the living room floor as Mateo eagerly dove into the colorful bin of Legos, his small hands sifting through the pile with purpose.

"What should we build?" Paige asked, leaning forward with a smile that matched the toddler's enthusiasm.

"A spaceship!" Mateo declared, his face lighting up at the idea.

"Of course, a spaceship. Good call," Paige said, her tone serious as though the toddler had just proposed the most genius idea.

Cecilia leaned against the wall, her arms crossed, watching them with an amused grin. "Make sure it has wings and room for astronauts, Mateo. You can't have a spaceship without those," she teased lightly.

"Baby, do you want to help?" Paige asked without looking up, already piecing together the ship's base.

Cecilia shook her head. "Nope. I'm leaving this masterpiece to the two of you. I'll start on lunch."

She made her way into the kitchen, the sounds of pots clinking and cupboards opening mixing with the lively chatter between Paige and Mateo. Every now and then, Cecilia would glance over her shoulder to see Paige carefully listening to Mateo's instructions, his small hands guiding hers to place the Legos exactly where he wanted them.

"Look, Cece!" Mateo exclaimed, holding up their completed spaceship proudly.

"It's amazing, Manito! And so fast! It must be the best spaceship in all of Barcelona," Cecilia praised as she set a cutting board on the counter. "But I need my two engineers in the kitchen now. We have a very important mission: making sandwiches."

Mateo jumped up eagerly and grabbed Paige's hand, tugging her toward the kitchen.

"Alright, Chef Cecilia, what's the plan?" Paige asked playfully as she lifted Mateo onto a stool at the counter.

"Mateo can help me with the peanut butter and jelly, and you, my sous chef, can chop fruit," Cecilia replied, handing Paige a knife and a bowl of strawberries.

The kitchen became a hub of laughter and tiny mishaps. Mateo accidentally smeared peanut butter on Cecilia's cheek, prompting a playful scolding. Paige sneakily ate a strawberry, earning a mock glare from Cecilia. Eventually, the trio sat down at the small table to enjoy their simple but heartfelt meal.

After lunch, Paige followed Cecilia into the bedroom with Mateo in tow, the toddler already rubbing his eyes sleepily. Cecilia carefully tucked Mateo into the small toddler bed she kept in the spare room for visits.

"Do you want a song, Manito?" Cecilia asked softly, brushing a stray curl from his forehead.

Mateo nodded, his eyes half-closed. Cecilia sat on the edge of the bed and began to sing a soft Catalan lullaby, her voice gentle and melodic. Paige stood in the doorway, her heart swelling as she watched Cecilia's calm and nurturing demeanor.

When Mateo was finally asleep, Cecilia quietly left the room and closed the door behind her. She turned to find Paige leaning against the wall, her expression a mix of admiration and something else Cecilia couldn't quite place.

"You're amazing with him," Paige whispered.

Cecilia smiled, reaching for her hand. "He's easy to love."

Paige hesitated, her fingers tightening around Cecilia's. "I think I might have baby fever.”

Cecilia blinked in surprise before a soft laugh escaped her lips. "You? Miss 'I can barely keep plants alive'?"

"I'm serious!" Paige whispered, laughing despite herself. "Watching you with Mateo... I started thinking about our future. I don't know, maybe not right away, but someday."

Cecilia's teasing expression softened. "You'd want kids with me?"

"Of course," Paige said, her voice steady. "You'd be an amazing mom, Cece. Watching you today just confirmed that for me."

Cecilia's cheeks flushed, and she pulled Paige closer, resting her forehead against hers. "Someday," she murmured. "I'd like that too. But for now, let's practice with Mateo and see if we survive the rest of the day."

Paige laughed quietly. "Deal."

[vaspider]

Okay, no. Absolutely not. We are not doing this sort of absolutist shit where we put the responsibility for managing someone's mental illness 100% on their friends and family and making statements like "if you need to guess if someone loves you, they don't" on a post that's clearly aimed at people with mental illnesses.

I had to come back and dig this out of the notes because this is so important and this response made me so absolutely fucking livid. I wish I could find the post that scrolled across my dash earlier today that said something along the lines of, "y'all say 'trust my gut about people but my gut tells me that everyone secretly hates me and wants to disown me.'"

That's what this post is talking about, and here's another hard-to-swallow pill: while it's okay to ask for extra support from your friends and family, your friends and family cannot read your mind and have their own shit going on and will not know that their standard means of expressing love and care to you are not what you need right now unless you tell them so. Additionally, if your brain tells you that your friends and family hate you, and you know that your brain tells you lies because you have depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or a similar mental illness? You need to develop coping strategies that will help you not constantly put 100% of the weight of making you feel better on your friends and family, if only because you are undoubtedly not the only mentally ill person in your circle of friends.

I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. My wife Emet has depression, and it's real fucking bad. My brain tells me all the time that people I love are bored and irritated by my existence, and my wife's brain tells her all the time that both of her partners don't actually love her, and that we're secretly talking shit about her all the time and we'd be better off if she died. I expect support from my partners when my brain is doing bad things, because I have talked to them about my needs, clearly communicated with them, and because I will ask them when I need extra support, because I know enough to stop and say, "my brain is lying to me. My wives do not hate me. They love me. I need to tell them that I'm feeling this way so they can support me."

Sometimes they might be able to tell that I need extra care because of how I'm acting, but I can't 100% expect them to know when my brain is being terrible, because they're not psychic and my wife is also fighting her own battles against a brain that tells her that I'd be better off if she died. (That thought fucking horrifies me, it should go without saying.)

I have doubts all the time that people really love me, because my brain lies, but because I am a grown-up butch, I have put on my big-kid pants and gone to therapy and developed some coping skills that both help me to recognize when a) my brain is lying to me and b) I need to ask for extra love, care and support. Part of asking for extra love, care, and support is teaching your friends and family to recognize your signs and signals and not expecting them to fucking guess based on their own feelings, past experiences, etc., because the same way that my brain lies to me, their brains lie to them, and we all grew up with different communication styles and words meaning different things.

The shit you're saying puts the full weight of taking care of you on the people around you, flawlessly and without fail. It means that the people around you must always correctly interpret your signs and signals, never leave you in any doubt whatsoever no matter what bullshit your brain puts you through, never be tired or busy or going through their own shit, or they don't love you. That is some supremely self-centered bullshit that frankly makes someone into a toxic tar pit of a person.

So don't do that.

[gazsdiary]

JOHNNY'S SECRET

Johnny Soap Mctavish x Reader (Later Poly!tf141 x reader)

ABO Universe

Oneshot: Johnny's Secret

Summary: Johnny has a secret and Gaz is determined to find out what is he is hiding that makes him smile like a fool. Or rather: who.

Warnings: none

Let me know if you want this to become a series!

(I do NOT allow anyone stealing, translating or imitating this work)

xoxo

Something was going on with Johnny. He had been disappearing at random hours for the last couple of days, nobody knew where he went. At first, none of them cared, maybe he was just getting some air or going to the bathroom. Who knows. He was always a bit weird if they were honest. However, Gaz had started noticing some slight changes in his new behaviour, or his new routine. For example, how he always disappeared at the same time, sometimes even leaving in the middle of lunch without giving any explanations. And always came back smiling. A stupid smile as Simon had named it, but a smile nonetheless. 

When Gaz has asked them about this Simon shrugged his shoulders and Price only frowned his lips saying that he’ll keep an eye on him. So he had made it his mission to find where his same-rank friend was when he disappeared. 

They had always been glued to the hip. Well, since he came around. It had been weird at the beginning. The connection they had, almost instantly, electrifying. He was the one that introduced him to the rest of the pack, he would be forever thankful for that. However. 

There was no space for secrets in their relationship, and Johnny was hiding a big one. And it was Gaz’s responsibility to find out what it was, mostly for the pack stability he said. Mostly. Because, would he sound needy if he said he felt left out by his partner in crime?

That’s why he was there right now. Waiting for Johnny to come out of the medical hallway, leaning against the wall, waiting patiently looking at the door. Medical office 1. 263. First floor. Soap was there. He knew it. He had followed him all the way from the Mess, from a cautious distance. 

Is this where he had been disappearing all this time? Was he sick? Was it something so serious to hide it from the Pack? Worried fill him for a second before he heard the door open, Soap exiting with that fucking dumb smile. It fell rapidly from his face when he saw his packmate leaning against the wall, a frown adorning his forehead. 

“What’re ye doing here?” He asked in a huss, closing the door and walking fastly towards him. There was not an ounce of that smile anymore.

“What am I doing  here? Now you’re taking the piss” 

Soap growled grabbing him by the arm and dragging him around the corner, hiding away from the clinic, Gaz’s back was towards that direction.

“Listen, ye can’t be here. Ye donae get it. Just, trust me”

“You’ve been disappearing, no one knows where you are going and you tell me to go away? Me ? What the fuck is happening Johnny? Are you sick or som? You can trust me, you know-”

He almost fell forward, a weight crashing into him, hitting him on his back. 

“Ow! I’m so sorry about that, sir!” You apologised, never stopping your pace as you snuck around them “Oh, bye Johnny! See you tomorrow!” You didn’t stop walking down the hallway, slightly tripping over when you tried to catch your speed after that bump.

Gaz’s gaze followed your retreating form. You had bump into him and looked him in the eye as you apologised, you even smiled at him. He felt a warm feeling spreading inside his chest, his fingertips tingling. He had to stop the happy grumbles growing in his chest

“Who was that?”

“That’s gonna be our wife.”

[princecharmingwinks]

Sterek Fic Rec - 2024

Guess who's backkkkk??? Ok so I know that I am late but only by like 4 days? So not too bad. Anyway! Welcome to Prince's 2024 Fic Rec List! I am now aiming to do a list every year (and more if we are lucky but let's not promise that hehe). As always here are my top 10 fics I read and a special bonus mention !

Perfect Star That Hid by thebigoblin (1/1 | 1K | Teen)

He turns his hand— It’s not bare, anymore. His wrist — it has a name. His soulmate’s name. He stares. And stares and stares because what the hell. This has to be a joke, right?

Last Christmas (I gave you my heart) by jadore_hale (1/1 | 4K | Teen)

“W-what is this?” Derek couldn’t even begin to get his mind around this current situation. “My Christmas gift to you, nephew.” Peter pushed the guy towards him, and Derek hastened to catch him before he fell face first on the floor. “I’d like you to meet your soul mate.” *** Derek's uncle Peter decides to get a little more creative this Christmas by finding Derek's soulmate and stuffing him in a box with a pretty bow on top.

Stiles Stilinski, Magical PI by suzvoy (1/1 | 21K | Mature)

Stiles is a Private Investigator, only not really. He's also magical, but only close up. One thing he's really good at is lusting over people from afar, which is why it's a problem when Laura Hale hires him to help her brother.

Wanted and Wounded by RoxyRosee (3/3 | 12K | Explicit)

Derek can't seem to get off. It's been days with no luck, and he's constantly on edge. But then pack night rolls around, and when Stiles falls into him as he goes to sit down on the couch, Derek is suddenly coming, right where he sits. Turns out, Stiles is his mate. And among a whole slew of embarrassing side effects to this whole "mate" thing is the fact that Derek will never again be able to have an orgasm without Stiles by his side. So yeah, Derek's life kind of sucks right now.

Welcome to the Jingle by Jmeelee (1/1 | 1K | Mature)

Derek could admit—only to himself, of course, never out loud—that he was a little desperate to make new holiday traditions with his (officially all adults now thank god) pack. But his ideas had run more along the lines of a cozy take-out dinner at his new apartment, an ugly sweater or white elephant party, or maybe volunteering at the local soup kitchen. It had not involved spending Christmas Eve at Jungle.

Hey Dad, Derek Hale Is In My Room. Bring Your Gun. by fairytalesandfolklore (1/1 | 767 | Teen)

Being the Sheriff's kid is hard enough. Having a seemingly over-protective father who's more concerned about your bad influence than your ex-murder-suspect werewolf boyfriend is so much worse.

"The point is, I'm an adult," he amends, heaving a weary sigh as he attempts to salvage whatever is left of his dignity. "I can make my own decisions, and I choose Derek. He makes me happy. He's a good guy. He treats me well. He looks out for me, keeps me safe. He's responsible and respectful and a complete gentleman, and I really think that if you just got to know him a little better, you'd really—" The Sheriff holds up a hand, effectively cutting Stiles off mid-ramble. "I like Derek just fine," he says, and the smile that spreads across his face is warm and genuine. "You do?" Stiles falters, completely thrown. "Wait, so then why—" The Sheriff's fond smile turns to one of wry amusement. "It's you I don't trust, Stiles," he says around a hearty chuckle. "I've raised you for 18 years, I know exactly what kind of mischief you're capable of. Wouldn't want you dragging that nice, respectable boy into any trouble."

The Hoodie by PersePhonesDreams (1/1 | 1K | General)

Stiles didn’t mean to keep Derek’s hoodie—really, he didn’t. But the oversized, ridiculously soft thing quickly became his favorite comfort item, a piece of Derek he couldn’t quite let go of. It’s not like Derek would notice anyway... right? When Derek unexpectedly shows up at Stiles’ window one quiet night, Stiles’ not-so-secret attachment to the hoodie is exposed, leading to a conversation that changes everything. Cue awkward confessions, teasing smiles, and the realization that maybe Derek doesn’t mind Stiles keeping more than just his hoodie.

Over the Hedge(witch) by rororowyourboat (1/1 | 7K | Teen)

Derek moves into a new house with Laura and he is flustered by the hot gardener next door who is always just slightly dirty.

And When I Wake You're There I'm Saved by suchfun (1/1 | 14K | Teen)

"Derek," Stiles says, firm. His hand is warm on Derek's shoulder. "I'll be okay." "You didn't leave me," Derek argues. "How can you expect me to leave you?" Stiles rolls his eyes. "Oh my god, it'll be fine. Even if I am captured, I'm just a boring human. They wanted you for your Lycan blood." Derek crosses his arms. Mainly so he doesn't wrap his hands around Stiles' throat in an attempt to throttle some sense into him. "That's fine. But this isn't a time when being a boring human is an asset. This is a time when being a boring human results in a shot to the head." "Derek," Stiles says again. He steps closer, so Derek is surrounded in his scent, his chemosignals—namely unwavering, resolute determination, distinctively sharp and entirely unbreakable—clouding Derek's mind. "You'll come back for me." He sounds so sure, and he can tell the exact moment Derek gives in. Because Derek somehow always gives in to Stiles. "I'll come back for you," he confirms. "And you better not be dead." Stiles grins, eyes sparkling with far too much humour for someone who potentially just sacrificed himself for a surly Lycan and bunch of strangers. "You do say the sweetest things."

Remember What's Lost by AMatchInWater (1/1 | 7K | Explicit)

Wild Hunt AU, Stiles gets taken and Derek instantly knows something is wrong with his memory, but just doesn't know what until Lydia calls him, begging for his help to get Stiles back because she thinks they have the strongest connection. When Derek saves Stiles he stops at nothing to finally get what's his.

princecharmingwinks special mention (this fic has a heck of a lot of emotions and when Derek fell to his knees, my heart broke. you gotta read it to find out why! don't worry I will never read or rec unhappy endings)

Horizons into Battlegrounds by AClosedFicIsNeverRead (1/1 | 15K | Explicit)

Derek has always kept his distance from Stiles, refusing to act on his instinctive desire for the pale, doe-eyed human. But at what cost? When circumstances reveal the horrors that Stiles has suffered due to Derek's self-imposed distance, will the Alpha be able to make it right before it's too late? ______________________________________________________ “Who are you to the pack?” the hunter asked. “I’m nobody.” Stiles answered plainly. And a harsh chill ran through Derek’s body. His breath caught in his throat because… because Stiles’ heart… it had remained steady. Stiles… actually believed that. Believed that he was ‘nobody.’ How could Stiles believe that?

That is all for 2024 my friends! Please remember to give kudos and leave comments for all our amazing Sterek writers. I know I'd be lost without you all. Thank you!