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calimera62 · 7 years ago

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[Fanfic] Sleepless, Makai Ouji

In which William can't sleep and fears about what awaits in the future and goes to Kevin for comfort. Spoilers pillar 80 and forward.

AO3 | FF.NET

William sat upon his bed, curled up with his hands around his legs. A thin blanket draped around his shoulder. His room was dark, like the sky outside. The night was still up and his mind was still very much awake.

He wished, not for the first time that night, he could fell asleep, that he could get the sleep he needed to rest and, most of all, to escape his thoughts.

His mind was William's greatest weapon, his faithful ally. This night, however, he wished he could just… stop thinking, as there was a storm raging through his mind, that reached to his soul.

In his mind, William could still see flashes of everything that happened earlier. Kevin's abrupt arrival, the sheltering of Michael, the revelations Kevin shared with him, the painful, awful, terrible truth about his uncle.

Suppressing a headache, William gripped his blond hair, pulling at it in an attempt to get the memories to leave, waiting for the pain in his heart to ease. However, the words he heard earlier from Kevin came back, stronger and clearer than before.

William slowly closed his eyes, resignation and desperation running through his being.

Barton wasn't the benevolent uncle William thought him to be, there was no use in not accepting it. He fooled them all. Him, Kevin, his parents.

Now he knew he could never trust his uncle's words again. The only human constant he had in his life for years. His uncle was alive, the happiest and most secret hope William had ever cherished, but it had devolved into a nightmare. His uncle was a liar and a murderer. He made him think he cared for him and he possibly murdered his parents, and wanted to bring harm to him as well.

William couldn't trust his memories of Barton ever again. It hurt to think any memory of good, kind, supportive uncle Barton, William had was fake. And how risible it was that he now trusted demons who harassed him for his vote and an archangel who lied to him and pretended to be the original Kevin Cecil more than his own flesh and blood.

William let out a noise that came out both as a strangled laugh and a sob. His uncle was the only family he had left. His own flesh and blood, the only parental figure he had left, and he hated him. He hated him for something he never wanted. Solomon's blood. Solomon's powers. Solomon's ring. Barton wanted to use him, his own nephew. His uncle died a second death the moment William came to process the truth about him, and the more he thought about it, the more it was difficult to breathe. His heart was beating fast inside his chest.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale!

He gulped for air, desperately seeking to breath normally again.

When William came back to himself, there were tears streaming down his face.

Relief came at last after several minutes, and William allowed himself to enjoy the quiet and the darkness of his bedroom. His window was slightly open, allowing William to smell and feel the atmosphere of this quiet summer night. The calm of the summer night was comforting, even with the tense atmosphere that reigned ever since Sitri, Sean, Dantalion and the others left. Ever since Christian and his uncle came back.

At least there were still Isaac, and Mathers, and Kevin who would stay for a while. It felt more familiar and comforting than William could remember, before Baphomet died.

Somehow, everything changed and darkened the moment Dantalion's faithful butler passed away.

William laid on his bed and closed his eyes, trying to stay calm.

For the first time since he was a child, he yearned for his parents. He longed for his father, tall and strong and clever, the strength and the warmth of his arms as he carried his little boy, eyes sparkling with pride. He longed for his mother, the softness of her skin, the warmth and kindness in her eyes, the sweet and comforting smell of her perfume. He wanted his parents so badly he felt hollow inside his being. He wanted his parents so badly but his uncle took them away. His uncle, a man he looked up to and admired. The loss hurt. The betrayal hurt.

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts!

His family was dead. Barton never cared. Sitri and Dantalion were gone, and Kevin would soon go too God-knows-where-and-how-long. How good would be his future now? How good would be his present? What would happen next?

And then, a need. A childish, boyish need he often felt when he was younger.

Kevin. Kevin. I want Kevin.

The words echoed through his head and, almost instinctively, he pushed away the cover and slowly got out of bed, with the intend to look for Kevin, hoping he was in his room.

When he reached Kevin's bedroom, William stood for a moment and stared at the door. Then, with shaking hands, he opened the door, and stared into the room.

Kevin was there, looking worn and curled up on his bed, with what looked like a cooking book. At the sight of William, it seemed as if a jolt of electricity had run through him, and he suddenly got up, his book neatly put on the bed table.

“Young Master! What are you doing up so late?” He asked, looking at him with concern.

For a few seconds, William said nothing and just looked at Kevin. Upon looking at his familiar figure, William couldn't help but feel a warmth and comfort rushing inside him. Slowly, his heartbeat came at a regular speed.

“I could ask you the same question.” William remarked at last.

“It's fine, I don't need to sleep that much.” Kevin assured him with a small smile. “How are you?”

“I'm fine,” William lied.

“Are you sure about that?” Kevin gently asked him.

William forced himself to smile. It wouldn't do anything to make him worry. Beside, there were other, more important things to worry about, like Michael's condition and the possible arrival of Metatron.

“You haven't been sleeping.” Kevin noticed, looking at William. It was a statement, not a question. William felt his face heat up.

“It's been a bit difficult to.” he confessed.

He looked up to glance at Kevin. He looked like he was patiently waiting for him to continue, and something twisted in William's gut.

Then, suddenly, the words and feeling he had been keeping in for long came out. As soon as the first word came out, William discovered he couldn't stop speaking. It was like something awakened in him, and he found himself confessing his deepest fears, his worries. Tears had started to run down his face without him wanting to, yet he kept talking because, somehow, it felt good. William didn't know it would felt this good, talking, like he was taking a burden out of his shoulders.

Kevin listened to him, and waited for him to stop talking before speaking out:

“Deep breaths now.” he said, and William complied. His cheeks were still wet, but he noticed his eyes stopped crying, which was good. His face felt hot and his heart was beating fast in his chest, but somehow, he felt better.

“I'm sorry.” William mumbled, a part of him feeling embarrassed by what he said.

“Don't be!” Kevin said suddenly with vehemence, which almost startled William. Realizing this, Kevin calmed himself, and put a hand on William's shoulder to lead him on his bed.

When they were both seated on the mattress, Kevin spoke out, never releasing his hold on William's shoulder.

“I am glad you told me.” He told him with a quiet tone. “I know these times are hard, but please understand no matter what happens, I'm always here for you. If you ever need to talk, please come and see me. You're my young master. I would be a poor butler if I was unable to help you.” He said with a cheeky grin that made William smile slightly.

“Sometimes, I wish we could just… run away from this.” He confessed in a whisper. He yearned for the days where everything was still so simple. Those golden days he would spent in the company of Kevin, Isaac, Mycroft, the demons.

He could still remember. Those days at home, at the Twining Manor, drinking the tea Kevin made for him while reading the newspaper, planning his holidays with Kevin, reminiscing the sweet days of childhood. He could still remember the feel of the grass under his hands and the warmth of the sun on his face, when he would read in the garden during the summer days. There were also the moments spent at school, studying, doing his Prefect tasks with Mycroft, taking advices from Camio whom he admired so much, his fond and exasperated smile when Isaac would talk about the latest supernatural book he read, or when Sitri used his charms to get sweets from the kitchen, or when Dantalion looked so ridiculously happy engaging in sports with the other students.

There were also those times where he tried to calm down Sitri and Dantalion as they were fighting for his vote, when Dantalion would broke into his rooms because he wanted his company, when he tried not to fall asleep during the mass to avoid Kevin's reproof, when he stole food from Baphomet, ...

There were simple, yet meaningful moments graved into William's heart. Memories of a life he now missed, a life that seemed from a long time ago.

“You don't mean that.” Kevin said, his eyes serious.

No, he didn't, William thought. He missed the golden days when his life was simple, as simple as it has been with the demons, yet running away from this new life wasn't the solution. It wasn't him. He was William Twining, always working, always fighting to achieve his goals, and keep finding a solution, and create one if he didn't find any.

“No,” William conceded. “But it would be nice. No worries, except for the demons pestering me, just studying and working for my brilliant future, with you by my side… and Isaac, and Mycroft...”

He said no more, for nothing was needed to be said. Perhaps Kevin understood – somehow he always did – for his hand gently squeezed his shoulder in a reassuring hold. Perhaps he understood, perhaps he missed those golden times too.

… Perhaps he missed him too, when he was away, in Heaven; just like William missed him.

“Spend the night here, with me!” Kevin suddenly said, turning his head to look at him.

“Eh?”

“It will be like before, when you were a child. You couldn't sleep when there was a thunderstorm and you would come to my room.”

“Yeah… I did...” William said, flashes of memories from his childhood playing in his mind.

“You weren't afraid through” Kevin recalled fondly. “You said it was just lighting and nothing would harm the house, but you had troubles sleeping with the sound of thunder outside. So I would prepare a cup of warm milk to help you sleep.”

Kevin smiled even more brightly now, and even William felt the corner of his mouth twitch.

“… I remember.” William said with a small smile. “You would put honey in the milk as well. It was the only thing you were able to cook back then.” He added with a teasing smile. “Everything you cooked burnt.”

Kevin let out an embarrassed laugh. “I did, but I improved later!”

“I'm glad you did! I couldn't have lived from burnt food.” William teased him.

Kevin laughed at that, and William quickly followed him. It was a light laugh, but still one. William couldn't recall the last time he laughed. He had forgotten how good it felt.

Silence came, after the laugh died. It was a good silence however, not a tense one. William felt himself relaxing, and Kevin was humming softly.

After a moment of relaxing together, he got up from the bed. “Now, you rest.” Kevin told William. “I will make you tea to soothe you while you make yourself comfortable here.”

“Ever the butler, eh Kevin?” William said, teasing.

“Always for you, Young Master.” Kevin winked.

William smiled at that, and watched as Kevin left the room. His smile weakened slightly when he left. The emptiness in the lower part of his chest was still there, but now it was filling with little sparks of contentment, happiness. Somehow, after talking to Kevin, the situation they were in didn't seem so hopeless anymore.

They still had problems to take care of, and William knew he would have to face his uncle. It was inevitable, and William didn't want to run away from this. Despite everything he did, his uncle owned him the truth at the very least, coming out from him and while William wouldn't be able to understand, he would make sure he would have the truth from his uncle. No more lies. For Barton Twining at least owned him to be honest, even if the truth would be cruel.

The sun will shine upon all of them again – Kevin, Isaac, Sitri, Dantalion, Camio, his friends, his family – and William will make sure of it! He will make sure everything will be alright in the end. He had to, or he will do anything in his power to try if he can't succeed.

He wasn't afraid. He was a Twining, and Twinings were clever and stubborn. More than that, William was determined and, most importantly, he wasn't alone.

“I am William Twining,” he whispered to himself. “Heir to the ancient and prestigious Twining family. I will not falter.”

Lookin' back on how it was in years gone by And the good times that I had Makes today seem rather sad, so much has changed.

- Yesterday Once More, The Carpenters.

I took such a ridiculous time to finish this story, but I’m glad I have finally wrote it!

Confession time: I always had the impression William's reaction about his uncle's betrayal wasn't adressed much in the manga, which was disappointing because, despite what he did, he was family to William. William looked up to him, and we can guess William was close to his uncle after his parents's death, or at least felt some kind of love and respect for him... yet we didn't see much of William's reaction when he learnt about his uncle's betrayal. So, I wanted to try writing about it... Feel free to tell me what you thought about it, I would love to hear your impressions :)

Story not beta-readed. If you notice any typo or mistake, please tell me in a private message so I can correct my mistakes!

#makai ouji #fanfiction #my works #william twining #kevin cecil #uriel (makai ouji)#uriel

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