#mainly just really shit at teaching their kids to express their emotions

[sonadow4life]

I redesigned shock

Also he know has electricity powers. Nothing too special, basically he can manipulate electricity but he has to be near something that runs on it. So if he’s near a light he can use it but he can’t use it in the forest.

I didn’t change too much. Mainly just the shoes and quills. He still has Sonics speed although he’s a little slower due to his age. He’s also 10 now (violets 12) he’s still a brat but less so than when he was a younger. Everything else is the same. Just think of this as a grown up versions with powers lol.

I’ll make a violet redesign next :)

[clonewarslover55]

I'm weak for him, but could we possibly get some relationship HCs for Chopper?? He has such a cool design and interesting personality!!

Sure! My friend @colorfulloverbatturkey also requested this!! 

If you don’t think Chopper is a broken soul who needs help and love then get the fuck out of my swamp. Chopper is loved and respected on this god damn blog!! 

Chopper Relationship headcanons //SFW and NSFW//

SFW 

Angry boy. He’s so angy 

Chopper acts like he hates everything, but that isn’t true 

He loves his brothers and would do anything for them 

He was in a bad accident. Scaring the right side of his face and body, blinding his right eye 

Chopper is just very angsty, but his squad knows he actually cares 

When you meet Chopper he just seems like that angry metalhead that will spit on you(I’m a metalhead so I can say that)

He seems like an angsty metalhead dude to me alright?? 

He acts like a complete dick to you at first, wanting to scare you off 

Chopper doesn’t want to form any attachments so he acts like he hates you and everyone else 

You know he obviously traumitized and fucking shattered. So you keep trying 

Eventually he gives up on scaring you off, but he still won’t be nice 

It takes a very long time for you two to get into a romantic relationship 

Chopper isn’t a fan of Coruscant, people, or crowds. So your dates are just at your apartment 

He is very stiff and nervous when he first comes to your place 

He relaxes once you make him dinner! Food is the way to a clones heart 

Your cooking can be absolute shit and he’d still love it 

You introduce Chopper to terrible holomovies and he loves them 

Chopper is a big fan of horror! If you’re not he’ll make sure to hold you close

He’s the type of dude that laughs during them 

He also shouts at the TV when someone does something stupid 

Chopper is weird alright, but it’s cute  

He doesn’t know he’s touch starved till you give him some snuggles 

Chopper immediately learns that he loves them! He turns into a cuddler 

He’ll randomly pick you up sometimes and just plop down with you because he wants attention 

He is fucking terrible at expressing his emotions, unless they’re anger or irritation of course 

He isn’t the best with communication either 

You’ll learn his body language very quickly so you can tell how he’s feeling 

You’ll have to talk to him a lot about communication and expressing emotions better 

He actually listens to you 

Chopper is fucking broken. He has terrible PTSD and so many other issues 

He’s not an original to Slick’s squad, he’s a replacement

Chopper has been the sole survivor of two separate squads

So he has a good reason for being so fucked up mentally 

He hates talking about his issues, so he may not talk about them for a long time

Once he’s more trusting of you he will open up a little but not much 

His soul is so broken and so full of pain that he can hardly talk about some things 

Chopper also hardly sleeps and when he does he has nightmares 

He sleeps better with you in his arms, and the nightmares and restless become less frequent 

When he does have nightmares just hold him until he stops shaking and begins to calm down 

Don’t ask about them, just whisper sweet nothings to him as you remind him that you’re not going anywhere 

When he sleeps good he snores. Loud. 

Soon you adjust to his snores and fall asleep to them

Once chopper falls in love with you he falls fucking hard 

Once you two say the three words he moves in with you 

You take him shopping and he hates it 

He wants to get his shit then get out 

Chopper gets some punk style clothes, and he looks amazing in the outfits 

Once he gets his civilian clothes and sleeping clothes you two get the fuck out 

He can’t stand public 

Chopper loves his new clothes though!

Especially his fluffy pajama pants. If you say anything to his squadmates he’ll murder you 

His new clothes show off his tattoo sleeves! He loves showing them off 

Most of his tattoos are some words or a picture to remember his fallen brothers by 

He makes sure he’ll never forget them or the pain they were caused by droids 

His face is badly scarred as is some of his body, he doesn’t like the scars that much 

If you trace his scars and tattoos, talking about how much you love them he melts 

Chopper isn’t romantic, or nice sometimes, but he can be a sweetheart 

His sweet moments are rare but you love them 

He has a few pet names for you that he always uses! 

Chopper may be a little crazy, and he may have a lot of baggage 

But you love him with all of your heart 

Chopper loves you with all of his heart as well, he’d do anything to keep you happy

NSFW 

He doesn’t have experience but he knows what to do 

Kinda 

You’ll have to teach him some things but not everything 

He learns quick and doesn’t forget

Chopper has you screaming in no time 

Chopper is an asshole, so he’s a huge tease

He knows exactly what makes you tick and uses it to his advantage 

His patience and self control isn’t the best until it comes to teasing you

Orgasm denial and overstimulation are some of his favorite things to do 

Chopper always makes sure you receive pleasure though, but you may have to do some waiting and begging 

He loves hearing you beg, when he hears his name he goes wild

When your relationship first started out you two didn’t have many soft intimate nights 

It was all animal sex really 

He isn’t really romantic so to get an intimate night you’ll have to do the work 

Chopper will do anything to keep you happy and pleasured, so just ask 

This also works great for kinks! He’ll try anything you want 

He won’t openly talk about his own for a while but he’ll explore with you 

Chopper is fucking kinky so have fun 

When you tease him he acts like he hates it but he really likes it 

Chopper is a switch, but you’ll have to wrestle him and/or trick him to be a bottom 

He loves it when you take up the challenge of topping him

It’s a thrilling game to him 

Chopper isn’t that vocal, it’s mainly grunts and growls 

His growls are deep and sexy as fuck 

Sometimes he’ll dirty talk you, and he’s surprisingly good at it

Chopper knows he can make you melt with just his words 

If you trace his scars he nearly melts 

They’re strangely sensitive 

When you give him oral trace some of the scars that cover the right side of his body 

It makes him lose it 

Chopper has a magic mouth, so when he gives you oral it drives you mad 

He has no hair to grab while he’s giving you oral, but if you rake your nails along his scalp he loses it 

He loves to feel your nails on him

Chopper is possessive of you, so he marks you up plenty. 

In every way possible too 

He loves it when you mark him, he’ll show the marks off for all to see 

Chopper really has no shame when it comes to your sex life 

He’ll fuck you anytime, anywhere 

Like all clones, Chopper has a breeding kink 

Chopper hates kids and would have trouble getting you pregnant anyways(If you can get knocked up that is)

So he doesn’t really act on the kink, unless you ask for him to

Chopper prefers to cover you in his cum though, it drives him wild

You’re his and his alone 

He is extra sweet with aftercare though 

Unless you made him crazy jealous or angry, then he’ll clean you up with a damp rag

If you both have the energy you may take a hot bath or shower 

You two rarely have the energy though 

He’ll pass out with you wrapped in his arms

Tags: @colorfulloverbatturkey @royalhandmaidens @roseofalderaan @catsnkooks @hounding-around @captainrexstan @leias-left-hair-bun @valkyrieofthehighfae @iamassbuttkingofhell @my-awakened-ghost @opalstxrs @blue-space-porgs @cherry-cokes-world @commanderrivercc-3628 @blueberrrybubblesandboba

[viastro]

lowkey | xu minghao

ミ★ synopsis: in which you’ve been pining after your fellow dance member, xu minghao, and he helps teach you the choreo one night.

ミ★ genre: mainly just humor, some fluff, y/n is a dummy, minghao is a softy

ミ★ warnings: none!

ミ★ word count: 3,648

ミ★ pairings: minghao x female reader

ミ★ notes: hi!! it’s been awhile uhh, i think i’ll be writing a lot more since i’m quite literally self quarantined. don’t hold me to that tho cause i’m a shithead when it comes to writing 🙈

You know, you weren’t that big of a fan of dancing when you were a child. The first day your mom brought you to your ballet class, you started crying because they wouldn’t give you the big, pink, fluffy tutu. As soon as the class ended you told your parents you were never dancing again, but look at you now. You’re 21 and you are still, in fact, dancing. To make it even better, you’re dancing different genres and are also now part of the dance team at Seoul University.

While you’ve obviously grown to have a love for the art, your parents still like to tease you and copy the way you used to cry about not wanting to go to dance. The most popular quotes they mock you with are, “Wahh! You can’t make me go to ballet! I’m not even the Sugar Plum fairy, this isn’t fair!” as well as the very special, “I’m not a dancer, for I, am The Rock.” (You had a The Rock obsession, so what?) Even then, you let them have their fun because you were truly a nightmare to get into the studio as a child. The three of you made the conscious decision to only j​oke about it together and to ​never ​bring it up to your dance team.

NEVER.

Especially since the guy you’ve been pining over for a good year is part of the dance team. In fact, he’s one of the aces of the team. There’s four of them: Soonyoung, Chan, Junhui, and last but definitely ​not the man of your dreams, ​Xu Minghao. The Uni students like to refer to them as the Four Aces, A4 for short. They’re practically Gods at the University, all the freshmen have a crush on them whether they want to admit it or not. Whenever the big showcase comes up the four of them are a subunit and have their own choreo. It’s pretty epic.

You’re rather close to Soonyoung and Chan since they help you out after practice is over so you can touch up on choreo. Soonyoung’s usually the one you go to to ask for help considering he’s the one who comes up with the choreographies half the time.

“Okay but y/n, make sure to make that move sharper. It shouldn’t be that soft, it has to be aggressive. Yeah, like that!” Soonyoung tells you with a big smile once you correct it. You grin, pushing your bangs off your sweaty forehead. You glance over at the clock to see that it’s 12 am already.

“Let’s continue on Monday, Soonyoung. It’s already really late.” You tell him and he looks up at the clock, shock now displayed over his features. “Holy shit. I didn’t even realize it’s already midnight.” He mutters, making his way over to his bag to pack up his stuff.

“Time flies when you’re with a cool gal like me.” You joke.

Soonyoung looks up and stares at you, no emotion on his face. The room is in pure silence.

“You are hilarious.” Soonyoung says blankly after a beat and you throw your sweat towel at him. He lets out a giggle, dodging said sweat towel. You chug the last of the water in your bottle, before tossing it into your bag. You throw your gym bag over your shoulder and pick up the sweat towel you threw at Soonyoung.

“You’re lucky this bitch didn’t land on your face. It would’ve been a tragedy.” You tell him with a smile, going in for a high five.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you later y/n!” You wave bye and head out the door.

“UghhhHHHH!” You screech into your pillow, kicking the bed with your feet at the same time. Seungcheol stares at you as you have a mental breakdown from the chair by your bedroom window. You lift your head up to suck in some more air before slamming your face back down into the pillow to scream some more.

“Y/N... please... I just wanted some ramen.” Seungcheol begs from the chair, flipping himself so that his head is hanging from the end of the seat where your ass is supposed to be. You lift your head up, shooting him the scariest death glare you can muster. He squeaks, closing his eyes and turning away.

“Haha.... Just kidding... go ahead...”

You turn over in bed, now staring at your ceiling. You recall the previous events of your day that has led up to this exact moment of internal self ​LOATHING​.

earlier...

“Soonyoung, can you come look at this?” You call from the floor of the dance studio, he turns and jogs on over you after telling Jun and Minghao to wait a minute. Minghao stares at you and you glance down at the IPad right away. ​Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god.

“What’s up?” Soonyoung asks as he plops down beside you, back against the mirrors. You show him the competition list, and he lets out a sigh. “God.” He mutters, turning off the IPad and pushing it to the side.

“Guys, we’re competing against Mayhem.” Soonyoung announces to the group and almost everyone groans. Well, pretty much everyone except Wheein. She ends up choking on her water mid-sip and leaves the studio in a coughing fit.

“Literally why. I swear, they have something against us. Not even kidding, they literally wanna eat our ASS!” Jun yells and Minghao pats him on the back. You put your head into your hands, closing your eyes as you realize how much harder Soonyoung and Chan are gonna push the group to make sure we get another win.

So basically Mayhem are your biggest competitor, but they have a vengeance against your group specifically. You’re not sure whether it was because of the time you accidentally walked in on one of their lead dancers using the restroom because she didn’t lock the door, or the time Chan ate the last chocolate donut in the rehearsal room. Either way, they’ve made it their ultimate life goal to beat you guys in every competition.

Too bad they haven’t been able to do that.

“As long as we work harder, it’ll all work out in the end. Everyone, get in formations.” Soonyoung announces, clapping his hands. Everyone makes their way to the middle of the dance studio, but you sit there and pout.

“Y/N, c’mere.” Chan calls over, shooting you one of his dazzling smiles and making a grabby hand towards you. You sigh, unable to say no to one of the cutest men alive.

Guess I'll die.

“Y/N, hit that move harder! Good!” Soonyoung yells as he watches you practice in the mirror. You feel your cheeks get warm after he calls you out in front of the rest of the team.

In fact, you were so embarrassed by the constructive criticism that when it was time to change the formation you accidentally tripped over Minghao’s foot, aka the foot of the guy you’ve had a crush on for the past two years haha !

This causes you to fall forward, about to plummet your face into the hardwood floor, only for Minghao to quickly step forward and wrap his arm around your waist, spinning you around, basically saving you from a lot of physical pain. It was, indeed, one of the biggest cliches you’ve ever been through in your 21 years of living, but did that stop your heart from beating out of your chest when you were looking into Minghao’s eyes? No. :D.

“Are you okay?” He asks breathlessly and you try to find your voice so that you can answer and not look like a buffoon. Alas, you cannot escape from who you truly are. ​A buffoon. ​You end up squeaking out a “yes.” and twirl yourself out of his grasp, only to trip over your own two feet so he reaches out and steadies you once again.

“Welcome back.” Minghao jokes at the fact that you’re in his grasp once again and you squeak once more, jumping away from him.

It’s only then that you realize the rest of the team is just gawking at you two. Well, except the rest of the A4. Their facial expressions range between a look of surprise and mischief. Minghao begins to take notice of the silence in the room and ends up coughing into his arm to break it. Everyone starts acting normal to avoid getting on Minghao’s bad side.

“Well.. let’s run it from the top shall we?” Chan says as he casts a smirk in your direction. You stick your tongue out at him and he chuckles, heading over to restart the song. You glance up into the mirror and notice Minghao’s eyes on you, and he gives you a sly grin.

Oh good god.

present

“So.. what you’re telling me is that you not only embarrassed yourself in front of your dance team, but also in front of the guy you’ve been pining after for the past what, year?” Seungcheol asks. You nod your head slowly, and he has half the mind to giggle slightly.

“Motherfucker why are you LAUGHING at my MISFORTUNE!!” You yell, throwing your pillow at his face. Seungcheol dodges the pillow while laughing at your outburst.

Frowning you mutter in tiny font, “It’s actually been two years.”

“I have an idea.” You glance up at Seungcheol with a slight hopeful expression on your face.

“What if... you just talk to him?!” You are now frowning at Seungcheol.

“Are you crazy? After our four years of friendship you think ​I’m​ going to talk to the person I’m secretly in love with?! Absolutely insane, love. That would never work anyways, I’ll just admire him from a distance like I usually do.” You explain, sitting up in bed.

Seungcheol stares at you for a moment. Your eyebrows are furrowed as you pout down at your folded hands. Your hair is a mess from slamming your head down onto your pillow for at least ten minutes. You may have passed out for a minute due to that but that’s a secret we’ll never tell. He cocks his head to the side, now thinking about how dumb you are. What you apparently don’t know is that Seungcheol is close friends with A4. He’s heard Minghao complain about how shy he is towards you, and how he just wants “to hold her hand sometimes, maybe even a hug and kiss on the forehead. Perhaps even... a kiss on the lips.”

But I’ll just let her suffer. ​Seungcheol thinks to himself.

“Whatever you say y/n. I’m gonna start making some ramen ​myself​ now since you seem to not wanna get out of bed. Came over for us to have a ramen bonding study session only for it to end up with you being stubborn and threatening to murder me with a hanger. I hate it here. This is Seungcheolphobic.” Seungcheol complains under his breath as he gets up and steps out of your bedroom. You glare at his back, laying back down so that you’re once again staring up at your white ceiling. You grab your white pillow beside you and hold it up, imagining that it’s Minghao.

“​Hi. M​y name’s Minghao, I have nice black hair with pretty brown eyes and a beautiful smile. Not only am I tall, lean and fashionable, but I’m also a multi-talented man. I like to volunteer at the animal shelter for funsies and I have a part time job at a dance studio teaching little kids how to dance. Fuck YOU Minghao. Perfect ass bitch. Literally being my dream man I HATE it here.” You mutter to yourself as you glare at your pillow you’re holding above you.

You scoff, throwing the pillow onto the floor and turning over in bed, now staring out the window. The scent of ramen goes through your nose and you find your tummy beginning to rumble. You hear a new sizzle as you assume Seungcheol is making you both eggs. You sigh, getting up from bed.

“Wallow in self pity later. Have fun with your bestie now.”

“Y/N!” You glance up from your phone to see Chan standing in front of you with a knowing smile that has you feeling a bit nervous. “What...”

“So the incident that happened on Monday-”

“Oh hell no! We aren’t talking about this.” You shut him down real quick, standing up to walk to the other side of the practice room. Chan giggles and reaches out to grab your arm, stopping you from running away to safety.

“Channie! I don’t wanna talk about it please!” You whine and he laughs even more, patting your shoulder to calm you down.

“Alright, alright. I just wanted to let you know that Soonyoung and I have to go to a seminar tonight so we won’t be able to help you later with the choreo.” He tells you regretfully and you raise an eyebrow, heartbeat quickening a bit.

“Then why are you here? Who’s gonna teach me-”

“Chan?” You pause as you hear that familiar voice.

Oh... my god....

“Hi Minghao, I’m just letting Y/N know that you’ll be helping her out tonight since Soonnie and I are busy.” Chan says, and flashes you a sly smile. You almost reach out and choke him but he pulls away.

“Have fun y/n!” He sings and walks out the door, leaving you and... ​him ​alone. You glance up at Minghao as he sets down his bag, taking his hat off along with it. Your eyes widen once he looks over at you and you glance down.

“How often do you do these late night practices with Soonyoung and Chan?” He asks, taking off his windbreaker as well and you feel yourself ​break out into a sweat.

“Um, every week. Soonyoung started helping me once he walked in at like 2 am only to find me practicing for our first showcase in freshman year. It’s been our thing since then, Chan joined in on our late night practices when he was a freshman as well.” You explain, putting your hair up into a low ponytail. He nods with a satisfied look on his face, heading over to plug his phone into the aux.

“What are you struggling on? Is it the part before the change in formation?” Minghao asks and you almost throw yourself off a cliff once the vision of Minghao holding you from last week pops into your mind. He turns to look at you once he notices how you’ve become silent, “I just thought because of what happened on Monday that you were struggling with that-”

“No, no I totally understand why. By the way, I’m so sorry for uh.. falling... on you...” You mutter quietly and he shakes his head, waving his hand as if to say, no biggie!

“But yeah, that one is kind of hard because the formation change is one that we don’t do often, ya know?” You answer and he nods. “Yeah I totally get that, don’t worry.” He responds and you find yourself staring at his black hair, which now covers his eyes a bit.

He’s the only guy who can make a mullet look good, you think to yourself. He glances up at you and gestures for you to go to the middle of the dance floor, to which you comply.

“Alright, so let me play the part right before the formation changes so that I can see you do it. Then we can work on what I see you struggling on and fix it.” You nod. It didn’t hit you until now that the guy you’ve been pining over is going to watch you dance by yourself, analyzing your every move to see what mistake you’d make. Now that it’s hit you, you think you’re gonna shit yourself.

Minghao gives you a thumbs up in the mirror and starts the music. Once you notice the part coming you glance up in the mirror, feeling your stage persona take over and the nerves ease away. Minghao watches you turn from the shy, timid person he knows, to a confident and talented woman as you dance. The change has him in awe as he watches you wink in the mirror when you hit a move nicely. He sees you fumble a bit shortly after before catching yourself, continuing to perform as if it never occurred. He pauses the music once you go to your spot in the formation, and you catch your breath.

“You’re really fantastic at what you do, I could see your stage presence come out and it was really uh, attractive, ​to see. I noticed the technicality error, and it’s really small so don’t worry. I’ll just run through it with you.” Minghao explains and you nod, feeling your face heat up when he compliments you. What you don’t notice is that Minghao’s full on blushing right now from his slip up, but he turns away before you can take notice of it.

“So you need to watch your footing here, because you fumbled a bit during this part,” Minghao performs the specific move where your feet cross over before going into a spin. His movements are similar to water, usually so soft and gentle but later become sharp, similar to an ocean wave crashing onto the shore.

“Try that.” He tells you after he specifies what made you slip up and you nod. Getting into position, you redo what he did and he smiles, clapping his hands.

“Nice! Okay now,” He does the small body roll and you bite the inside of your cheek, cursing to yourself. You stare at his face, noticing the small furrow to his brow as he puffs up his chest for the next move. Minghao glances up into your eyes as he does this and pauses. Warmth floods your face as he seemingly stops teaching you. ​She’s so pretty, Minghao thinks to himself as he watches you for a moment. He runs a hand through his hair, breaking the eye contact as he glances down at the shiny wood floor.

“Is there something on my face?” He mutters and you break out of your spell, shaking your head profusely.

“No! No, sorry I just...” You panic, fingers fumbling together as you try and come up with a response that doesn’t mention how handsome he is and how much you wanna run your fingers through his hair.

“You just what?” Minghao asks, cocking his head to the side as he watches you internally freak the fuck out.

“I just... I really think you’re an amazing dancer and you’re really handsome but it’s so much more than that. You’re so passionate and good at what you do, but I’m really intimidated by you and I’ve been crushingonyouforyears so being in a room alone with you is really nerve-wracking.” You quickly explain. He freezes, staring at you with wide eyes. You also quite literally pause.

CUT THE CAMERAS...

DEADASS!!! Did I DEADASS JUST CONFESS IN A FIT OF NERVOUSNESS!!

“I... am so sorry. I’m going to go. You don’t have to like me back, I’m so sorry!” You apologize profusely, tears threatening to spill out of your eyes as you start to back up towards your bag. He reaches out and gently takes a hold of your wrist, pulling you to him in a hug. You freeze in his embrace, and he nuzzles his head into your neck.

“Don’t go. I like you too, y/n.” He mutters quietly.

And this. This is when you start sobbing.

You fall to your knees, covering your face with your hands as you ugly sob right in front of the guy who you no longer have to pine after. He’s staring at you helplessly as you cry into your hands about the fact that you thought your crush was hopeless for years, and how you never expected this to happen.

“I-I’m so sorry. I’ve been really e-emotionally unstable, ​hiccup, r​ecently for no reason. This is like, the best day of my, ​hiccup, l​ife.” You explain through your tears and Minghao lets out one of his cute little giggles that sends you over the edge once again. You let out a loud sob and he giggles again, pulling you to him in a hug and rubbing small circles on your back.

“That’s okay, we can keep it a secret from everyone that you sobbed after I confessed to you.” He tells you soothingly and you hit his arm softly, making him chuckle at you.

“How are you so calm right now?” You complain, pulling back ​regretfully f​ rom the hug and looking up at him with tear tracks running down your face, along with a bit of snot. ​How cute, h​e thinks to himself. He reaches over to his bag from the floor and grabs his towel, wiping away your snot and tears.

“I’m quite literally shitting bricks right now from happiness, but I’m just not showing it because I didn’t want to overwhelm you.” Minghao explains and you bite the inside of your cheek. You glance back up at him and he gives you a small smile, reaching up and patting your head.

“You wanna get back to the choreo?” He asks you and you shrug, wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. Crying made you tired.

“Can we just hug for a bit more?” You ask and he smiles, pulling you back into his warm embrace. You sigh contentedly, nuzzling your head into his shoulder. You both stay like that for a while, letting the recent events settle into your thrumming hearts.

“Does this mean we’re... boyfriend and girlfriend...” (👉👈) Minghao asks shyly, breaking the comfortable silence. Giggling, you reply, “I believe so Minghao.”

He squeezes you even tighter, nuzzling his head further into the crook of your neck.

“Good.”

[mysteryartisticwriter]

Body Stealing Black-Eyed Bitch (2) // Jack Kline/Belphegor X Reader

A/N: This is part two so make sure you go read the first one in order for this one to make much more sense lol. This one is actually a lot longer than the first one because me being stupid didn’t equal it out.

TAKES PLACE DURING 15x01 (SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED IT YET)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN BTW

Requested: Kinda...people wanted this second part but I was gonna make it anyway

Warnings: Blood, some forms of gore, some angst, and some heavy makeout session

PART 1

Not my gifs!! (Please tell me if you, the owner, would like me to take the gif down!)

-

The guys ran to the doors to check the outside while you stayed back and stared down the demon. He noticed you looking at him and smiled.

“What? No thank you?”

You scoffed. “As if I’ll ever thank you.”

You and Belphegor followed the older men to the outside. You exited the tomb and saw that the sky was still an eerie dark black, but the several dead walking bodies had collapsed on the ground, lifeless once more.

“Hey, it worked! High five!” Belphegor cheered, lifting his hand for high five that one paid any attention to.

“The spirits have been destroyed.” Castiel said, looking around the graveyard.

“No, I actually just blasted them out of those bodies.” Belphegor walked past the four of you.

“So where are the ghosts, then?” Dean asked.

Belphegor didn’t really give a proper answer and you all just sighed then headed toward the chevy impala. As always, Dean was driving and Sam was in shotgun. You, Castiel and Belphegor sat in the back, much to yours and Cas’ distaste. It was a bit worse for you since you were trapped in the middle of the two, meaning you were closer to the demon.

The five of you drove down the dark road as Sam checked online if there was anything on the news. Belphegor was checking out his vessel in the car’s mirrors.

“I mean, come on. I look good.” He said while fumbling with his glasses.

“Don’t get used to it.” You barked, your arms crossed and face blank.

“I’m gonna have to, sweetheart.”

“Anything?” Dean asked his brother, changing the subject.

Sam glanced at Dean with a strange look. “No, not yet. I mean, the news, they didn't...it just... I'm not seeing anything about a worldwide zombie apocalypse.”

“So... Ghostpocalypse. Maybe it's just happening here.” Dean suggested.

But Belphegor shrugged from the backseat next to you.

“Eh, for now. I mean the souls gotta go somewhere, right?”

“Yeah, how many are we talking about, by the way? Souls?” Sam asked, turning his body to face Belphegor.

“In hell?”

“Yes.”

“Two...three billion.” The demon shrugged nonchalantly.

Your eyes widened while Sam and Dean shared a dour face. They knew lots of souls escaped from Hell but not that many.

“Alright. Let's just stick to the plan, alright? We head back to the bunker, figure out how to close the rift.” Dean said.

Belphegor sucked in a breath. “If you can.”

You glared your eyes to him.

“Yeah well, you got a better idea?” You snapped.

“I do not. But if you wanted to buy some time, you could always contain the ghosts.” He told you.

“Contain them how?” Asked Sam.

“Magic.” He answered, as if it was obvious.

“And you just happen to know the right spell?” Cas pointed out.

“Lucky you.” Belphegor said, smirking at you.

You just rolled your eyes and sank back into your seat.

“What do you mean by "contain"?”

“Imagine a salt circle a mile wide. No ghosts get in, no ghosts get out.”

“No,” Castiel interjected. “That town, Harlan, Kansas is less than a mile from the cemetery.”

“Then we get everyone out.” Dean deadpanned.

“How?”

“We lie.”

-

It was already light once you guys arrived back in the town. Sam left the car to speak to the sheriff about the town’s evacuation, you, Dean, Cas and Belphegor were left in the car.

“We can handle the evac, so why don't you grab Crowley Jr. here whatever he needs for his spell?” Dean told you and Cas.

“No.”

“I’m not doing that.” You both protested at the same time.

“What?” Dean confusingly asked.

Castiel looked anywhere but Belphegor. “Dean, I can't. I-I...I can't even look at him.”

A terrible silence went through the car before Cas finally just sighed and left the car. Dean just turned back into his seat and pulled out his extra pistol, opening the glove compartment and shoving it in there out of plain sight. Belphegor took notice and looked over the seat to see what he hid.

“Uh, what’s that?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay, cool.”

Dean looked at you in his rearview mirror and sighed.

“(Y/n), I’m gonna need you to help...Belphegor find his supplies and seal up the town. Once you finish the spell, come find us, okay?”

“I am not dealing with him...I can’t. This demon is inhabiting Jack’s-” You stopped. “He’s using his body, Dean.” You confessed to the eldest Winchester brother.

“Sorry, but I’m not asking, Singer.” Dean scolded you, using your last name.

Whenever he used it, you knew he meant business. No one ever called you by your adoptive father’s last name but the Winchesters and that only happened in times where you really pissed them off. You just scoffed and scooted farther away from the demon next to you.

Being near Belphegor kept reminding you that the love of your life was gone forever. Every memory, good and bad, about Jack replayed in your mind. From when you first found him, to teaching him to control his powers or even when he ran away. Your heart and mind ached, ached for your love back.

You noticed that Dean and Belphegor stepped out of the car so you followed on your side. Dean gave you strict instructions about the demon (mainly on making sure he didn’t go rogue and kill you) and then left you alone with him.

As you walked down the street, Belphegor walked next to you and watched several people who walked past you two. He eyed their appearances then whispered to you.

“So, people are, like, crazy good-looking now, eh?”

You furrowed your eyebrows in a mix of irration and confusion. “What?”

“I mean, the last time I was on Earth, when I was human. Ah, it was a while ago. I mean, but, you know, we were all worshipping this giant rock that looked like a huge penis, and...”

“Ew, dude, TMI.” You grimaced. 

“It’s true! Anyway, folks back then, they were, uh, ugly. You know? Had a lot of humps. I mean, a lot. Look at 'em now,” Belphegor stared at your body and smiled. “I mean, look at you. I mean, you're, uh, you know, beautiful.”

You halted in your tracks and a memory popped into your mind.

“You’re very pretty, (Y/n).” Jack told you.

You looked up at him in surprise. The two of you were just in the middle of searching for a case in the bunker’s library when he broke the silence with his words. Jack was just staring at you with a lovestruck gaze and you blushed heavily.

“Thank you, Jack. I think you’re very pretty, too.” You replied, trying to focus on your computer.

“No, no, I mean it.” You looked back up at him, staring into his piercing eyes. “You’re beautiful.”

A tear escaped your eye before you had a chance to wipe it away. Belphegor saw you had stopped walking so he looked to you and saw your bleak expression.

“Um... you good?” He asked, going to shake your shoulder but was stopped by you grabbing his wrist.

“Never touch me. Never call me beautiful. And don’t you ever ask me if I’m good,” You furiously wiped at the tears in your eyes. “Because I am never good.”

You could see out of the corner of your eyes that some people were starting to stare at you two. Although you were still angry, you let go of his wrist.

“Let’s just get your shit and get out of here. Wh-When are you gonna get out of that body, anyway?” You asked.

“Eh, when I find another one. I mean, I would've jumped at the cemetery, but all those meat suits were a little too, uh, you know, wormy. Difficult to blend, if you will.” Belphegor droned on.

“Yeah...sure.”

“So, uh...who was...he, anyway?”

You turned to him but continued walking. “What?”

“Well, I know he was your boyfriend and all but uh...who was this kid?” He curiously asked.

You hesitated before answering.

“His name was Jack. He was a lot of things. To the boys he was their kid. Kinda. But to me,” You swallowed. “He was important. My love, my light, my everything. And now he’s gone, with you inside his corpse.”

The demon could see the emotion in your eyes, even if you did try to keep a straight face, Belphegor could see what you were truly feelings.

“Oh. Uh...sorry.”

You shook your head and carried on.

“So, what do you need for this spell?

“You know, nothing much. Big bag of salt.”

“Easy.”

“And a...and a human heart.”

You physically groaned. You really need a break from death.

-

You exited the convenience store with a huge bag of rock salt. Turning to your left, you entered an alleyway where Belphegor was leaning against a brick wall. He noticed you coming toward him and brushed off his vessel’s clothing.

“Here’s your salt.” You said, handing him the bag.

“I’m going to call Dean about the heart. Maybe he knows a way to get one.”

You grabbed your phone from your pocket and began to search for Dean’s number in your contacts until you saw Belphegor staring at you. For a moment, he reminded you of Jack and his innocent gazes.

“Is there a problem?” You asked. He shook his head.

“No, no, it’s just...you’re very popular in hell.”

“I am?” You asked, pretty curious.

“Yeah. I mean, you may not be Winchester famous but still really well known.” The demon affirmed.

“And how exactly am I “well known” among Hell? I’ve been with the boys for almost eight years now and no demon has ever told me that I’m popular.”

“Kevin Tran, duh. He always talks about you, talks about how you were his best friend and how much he missed you- god he was so whinny.”

You stared at the demon with a blinking look, not sure if you had hear him correctly.

“K-Kevin? Kevin Tran?” You wanted him to confirm. He nodded.

“But God said- Chuck said he was going to Heaven. Kevin is supposed to be in Heaven!” You fumed, getting angrier by the second.

First that son of a bitch messed up your lives for his own entertainment, then he kills Jack, and now apparently he didn’t even send your old best friend to Heaven like he said he would! That lying bastard.

“I’m going to fucking kill that bastard of a writer.”

“Woah, woah, chill. Calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to be calm! My best friend is in Hell!”

Your breathing started to pick up, your mind clouded by anger and you paced back and forth in the ally way. You didn’t even notice Belphegor come up to you and grab you by the shoulders.

Not really knowing anything else to do, Belphegor lifted your chin and smashed his lips onto yours. Your eyes widened in surprise and didn’t even have a chance to respond to the kiss. Because he was using Jack’s body, he tasted like him, felt like him and even the way he held you felt like Jack. For a moment, you forgot that it wasn’t Jack in his body, it was a demon.

After feeling you not freaking out anymore, Belphegor let you go and stared you in the eyes, you staring at your shocked reflection in his sunglasses.

“You calm now?”

You weren’t even thinking anymore. It had felt like forever since you kissed Jack, and even though your mind knew it wasn’t him, your body still craved for his touch again. Without even thinking, you forced your lips back onto his.

Belphegor responded almost immediately, kissing you with just as much passion as you did. His kisses were different, not the soft and sweet kind that your Jack and you always shared. No, this was different, what you felt was true lust and roughness.

You felt him push you up against the brick wall he was leaning against and you could feel his hips grind into yours. You moaned into the kiss, feeling Belphegor’s smirk against your lips. One of his hands found their way from your hips and almost up your shirt.

The hot and heavy kiss had only lasted for a while until Belphegor let your lips go. His stupid and cooky smirk was plastered on his face.

“Come on, we got a bunch of souls and ghosts to seal into this town, right?”

The demon walked past you and out of the alleyway, standing at the end and waiting for you. After everything that’s happened to you in the past couple of days, you managed to make a tiny smile at him.

-

Later, after calling Dean, you told him about the heart you needed for the spell and he suggested you going to morgue. You and Belphegor walked down the empty street, heading to your destination.

“So...about that heart.” He brought up the subject again.

“On it. Dean said that we could probably just head down to the morgue.”

You saw the demon shrug and scrunch up his face.

“Hmm. Fresh, it'd be... it would be better.”

You were about to answer when a man screaming in the distance caught your attention. Immediately, you ran towards the sound with Belphegor following behind you. You went down the street and around the corner to see the town’s sheriff laying on the ground, dead.

You kneeled down to the body and saw a closer look to his neck. There were deep scratches that cut deep and blood drained from his body onto the pavement.

You internally gagged, but managed to keep it down and covered your mouth with your hand. Belphegor wasn’t very affected from the dead man on the ground.

“Hmm, cool.”

You looked up to him with a weirded out face, he just shrugged as if it was nothing. Then again, he was a torturer in Hell for thousands of years.

“Fuck...”

“Yeah. Yeah, poor guy.” Belphegor said with no sympathy at all.

He leaned down toward the body and pushed his hand into the man’s chest, you backing away in disgust and shock. Belphegor pulled out a fresh, bloody heart and showed it to you.

“Well, I got a heart,” Bel smirked and held the organ out to you. “I would give it to you but-”

“I don’t care.” You deadpanned.

He raised his hands up in defense.

Suddenly, the air around you turned cold and when you exhaled, your breath turned white. You knew what this was, a ghost was near.

“We need to move. Now.” You commanded the demon until you heard a voice from behind you.

“Can you take me home?”

You turned around to see the woman in white that Sam and Dean had told you about, the first hunt they went on that started them on this journey together. She whipped her hand out and you went flying towards a nearby dumpster and some boxes.

You took a moment to breath and saw the woman walking towards Belphegor, ready to attack him. The demon backed away, still carrying the heart.

“O-Oh, hey. Look, okay?” He stammered, putting his hand out in front of him.

“Bad ghost! Bad!”

She once again swiped her hand at his lifted hand and created deep scratches into his palm. He winced at the pain and held his hurt hand close to his chest.

Just as the woman was about to pounce on him, you quickly grabbed an iron pole from the boxes and swung at the ghost with all your might. She disappeared right away but you knew she would be back.

“Bel, spell, now. Let's get the salt.”

After running back to grab the salt you had left in the alleyway, you grabbed it and poured it all into a large pile in the middle of the now deserted street. Belphegor then set the dead man’s heart in the center of the salt.

“We good?” You asked.

“We’re good.”

He stood firmly and began to chant the spell. 

“Animi...infernorum...spiritus abyssi surrecti...defigo...vos intra confinia. Vinciamni!”

As the salt and heart began to glow red, Belphegor set his hand firmly into the street in front of the ingredients. A powerful wave washed over the whole town then everything went back to being quiet once more.

-

After meeting up with the boys, along with a mom and her young daughter, you all rode back into the high school to drop off the little family. There wasn’t enough space in the backseat of the impala so you kind of just ended up sitting on top of Belphegor’s lap.

Dean stopped the car in a parking spot and him, along with his brother, turned to face the five of you in the back.

“So, what now?” The mother asked.

“Okay. You two go inside. We'll take care of the town.” Sam told them.

“And maybe don't tell anybody about the whole ghost thing.” Dean added.

“Or the angel thing.” Cas said, looking towards the girl and her mom.

“Yeah, that... that might freak them out.”

Belphegor scoffed from beneath you. “Uh, might?”

You elbowed the demon in the stomach, causing him to groan in pain. You then smiled softly towards the two.

“You’ll be okay, stay safe, alright?”

The mother and daughter left the car and you finally were able to get off of Bel’s lap. It was pretty uncomfortable for you but obviously, Belphegor had enjoyed every bit of it.

Dean drove off to the middle of the parking lot and stepped out of the car, everyone already had gotten off as well. He walked up to you standing next to Belphegor.

“Good to know that the spell worked. He cause any trouble?” Dean questioned, nodding towards the demon who just waved at him.

You looked at Bel then back to the tall man and shook your head.

“No. No, not really. Surprisingly, Bel is pretty okay for a demon. He can’t replace...”You stopped for a moment. Then you remembered the kiss in the alleyway, feeling guilty. “He didn’t cause any trouble. We’re fine.”

Dean looked suspiously between you and Belphegor but nodded and walked over to Cas. You turned over to the demon who was leaning against Baby.

“Bel, what happened in the alleyway...that can’t happen again. I-I mean, I just lost Jack and I can’t-”

Belphegor interrupted you before you could continue.

“Calm yourself, sweetheart. What happened in the alleyway can be our little secret, all right?” He raised his eyebrow in a sly manner, making you slightly giggle, something you haven’t done in a while.

“Our secret.”

You saw his left hand and remembered how the woman in white did some damage to it. You held your hand out so you could take a closer look at it.

“Let me look at your wound.”

He shook his head. “Nah, it’s fine. I’ve been through worse.”

“Don’t care. Give me your hand.” You persisted.

Belphegor sighed and lifted his hand to allow you to grab it. You looked over the three deep scratches in his palm and bit your lip in slight disgust. You dropped his hand.

“Let’s clean that up.”

You grabbed some supplies from the Winchester brothers since they were fixing up Sam’s almost infected bullet wound. Taking a piece of bandage, you cleaned up Bel’s scars then wrapped his hand.

“You really care about me, don’t you?” He teased, cockily.

You scoffed.

“You’re in Jack’s body, I don’t anything happening to yo- it. You’re still a body stealing black-eyed bitch, Bel.”

-

A/N: Oh my god, it’s like 7am and I have been up working on this since 1am. I really need food and sleep. Stay safe, loves!

Lemme know if you wanna be tagged in my Supernatural stories!

Someone messaged me and asked me if I could tag them but I completely forgot who so whoever messaged me, please do it again so I can add you!

TAGGED:

@shortwinchester​

@coltcas​

@urlaslongasafalloutboysongtitle​

[cloveroctobers]

YASMIN DOUGLAS—

IG info/Bio: @/imyasmin_d | 11.6k followers | hello & ahlan 🎶

23-24 years old depending on her birthday (I’m thinking too much about timelines since i know some shows aren’t live and if they filmed it prior & it’s just being shown to us now...then there’s the boat party that comes in after, you get what I’m saying right? No? Okay)

Moroccan heritage

she was born in fes along with her baba

Father works in the carpet & rug manufacturing industry and worked in his father’s business from the young age of 16

her mother is from Essaouira & has often stated that she couldn’t stand Yasmin’s father the first time they met but she wouldn’t want to travel through this life with anyone else

Her father and mother came from two different lifestyles. All he knew how to do was hard work yet he had a sarcastic but playful side to him whereas her mom came from a family that was more financially stable & she was free to do whatever! mainly hanging at the beach with her friends without a care in the world, she was privileged and a little uppity while her father’s life seemed to be planned out from the day of his birth

Yet they still fell in love and decided to leave Morocco months after they got married at 21 & 24 & not too long after they had yas they left for England

She was raised in Kent, England

The Atmosphere led to her boho lifestyle...being exposed to castles, gardens, and underground tunnels from time to time shaped her into what she felt she was meant to be. She loved her second home

they call her “yazzy”

Parents follow islam...Which Yasmin respects but is not strongly devoted to

Can speak & write in Arabic but seems to do better in writing

Her paternal grandparents fault her parents for not teaching her to excel at both & feel that if they weren’t in such a rush to leave home she would speak Arabic better

Which made Yasmin feel like shit. Her paternal grandparents were strict on keeping their customs alive whereas her maternal grandparents were carefree as long as they got to see their granddaughter alive & well that was good enough for them

Idk maybe a only child or has a older brother? I don’t feel like she comes from a big family sibling wise

her mother made her a stuffed purple sheep that she took everywhere with her as a kid & continues to keep close to her. Y’all had imaginary friends? Well Yasmin had a real friend she could see & squeeze the life out that didn’t require talking and hugging the air, but that’s fine do u

100% collects beanie babies until this day but lil yamb is the number one princess in her household

As her significant other you have to be okay with lil yamb sleeping in between y’all that’s just the way it is

These stuffed babies are her comfort when no else can be

she’s a singer/songwriter. Went to uni for it & finished a semester early

Went through multiple hell experiences when it came to interning & temping while still in school & after

Let’s just say she wasn’t down to f*ck her way to the top

this made her anxiety act up, these people made her feel like she wouldn’t be good enough to show the world her craft & it’s didn’t have to be the world, just someone who would listen

But she couldn’t give up, there was nothing else she saw herself doing. She knew this is what she was meant to do but she couldn’t lie and say that her insecurities didn’t get the best of her most days

Although the cons seemed to out way the Pros some days, she kept at it & found herself a solid team that knew what she was about and understood her soul

Was definitely the student who loved all her English classes & when she spoke up everyone found it shocking since she preferred to just write everything out rather than “participate in group discussions”

I feel like her singing voice sounds similar to Jessica mauboy’s (if you don’t know who that is & you’re a fan of r&b/pop check her out or if you’re just curious that works too lol)

Knows her music notes like the back of her hand, duh!

Fav color is royal blue, especially on her eyelids & nails

Occasionally sleeps in rollers to keep her hair wavy

Needs her space when it comes to disagreements, they stress her out & she panics a bit when things go wrong so she feels like she needs to leave the situation rather than talk it out right then and there

She’ll talk when she’s ready, she just needs someone that’s a little patient with her that’s all

Words of affirmation is her love language? When she figures out how to balance her love life with her work life that is. When she’s feeling confident she’s smooth with words but when she needs to show you how much you mean to her & she really takes the time to think it out & feel her emotions, she’s writing you a song or you’re the inspiration to it or a poem, leaving you little love notes on blue post-it’s around the house, will write 50 reasons why she loves you on Valentine’s Day, and will say so when it’s just the two of you in your own comfort

Isn’t too crazy about public displays of affection but will deff hold your hand if that’s something you or she wanted in that moment

I think she’s fluid

Hasn’t been in many relationships. Sure she goes on tour every other year and gets to meet many people but they’re not solid relationships, they’re hookups and she hasn’t done many of those either

Had maybe one or two solid relationships: a androgynous woman that uses she/they pronouns & was in a rock band & a cis male she met at a tattoo parlor his step-brother owned (he kinda favored seb but we’re not going to speak on that)

I believe she wants to get married someday but isn’t so keen on the idea of kids. The furthest she’ll go is adopting a couple of animals. She’ll be a pet mom! I feel like she’ll be anxious looking after the life of a human being when it’s extremely hard to do so not only for herself and the love of her life & you want to add kids to the mix?! Fucking hell! but that could change? Who knows what life can throw at u

Has a hedgehog named Sonia that she drops off at her parents for their weekly sleepovers

Loves lace—mostly bralettes & crotchet clothing

I see her as a corduroy girl too. She has at least some rusty brown low-rise corduroy pants or/and a jacket

owns a crotchet kit, she’s bloody good at it too

Loved pink & purple (still likes them, they’re her 2nd & 3rd fav colors) so much as a kid that she tried to dye her hair half & half while her parents went out on their date night...it was also the weekend before school pictures :)

Says she got her inspiration from starfire & raven. She was only 13 at the time & had braces. Her father approved saying she’s a kid and she should be allowed to express herself. He only said that because his own parents barely let him & his brothers have their own fun

Her mother thought it was atrocious and did her best to get it out with the help of her other hair stylists friends (her mother worked in plenty of beauty shops once she got to England, until she decided to convert their basement into her own shop) who she invited over to see what her daughter had done but when you use certain permanent dyes...

It didn’t completely damage yasmin’s hair plus it was just hair, Yasmin didn’t see the big deal. She thought she looked splendid

Anyway, massive fan of ballroom dancing

She’s got a great ear to begin with so it was extremely fun twirling around while wearing pretty ballroom gowns

Took boring etiquette classes as a form of punishment? After the whole teen Titans inspiration thing “went wrong”

Enjoys western films

yes she owns a cowgirl hat & some boots too so sue her, she likes what she likes

Knows how to lasso but hates doing it to animals but she’ll do it to you :) (*gags* lmao why???)

Also loves visiting western towns & learning some history or at least experiencing what it was like

Type of significant other that will do her best to persuade you to stay in a treehouse airbnb, a cabin, the fucking Idaho potato, or camping out in her Volkswagen van in the middle of nowhere!

Has faux cow rugs, wicker baskets, wicker chairs in her flat, hangs some plants in glass jars & bottles all over her house

Her flat is very bright & vibrant: white, mocha brown, tan, yellows, & pastel purple

When it comes to decision making, she’ll make them pretty quick but only if it comes to choosing desserts

nobody is touching her mom’s meskouta orange cake WITH syrup

the dessert eater that always picks the one that has a surprise inside, meaning it has to ooze out with SOMETHING to make it 10x more satisfying

Leaning towards Buddhism, had studied some of their beliefs and found it resonates with her spirit

Fan of neon lights, probably has a few neon signs in her flat preferably on her brick wall in the loo, “to give u comfort as you go!” “that...actually makes sense.” Tai commented as he rubbed his chin coming to terms with yasmin’s reply. While Iona scowls, “no, no it doesn’t. I feel as if it’s an invasion of my bits!” “...Sorry you feel that way.”

tai & ciaran are automatically deemed as her brothers since she came into the villa with them. She had time to connect with them unlike anyone else. It was just the way the stars wrote their story and it showed outside of the villa too. they often crash at her place all the time when they’re in town & vacation all the time together when their schedules line up + it never feels like she’s third wheeling

“TaiTower” & “BB-Ci” are their names in her phone, Tai picked his own name while the “bb” stands for “best buds” for ciaran —which is a joke since he drunkly called himself so + he loves everyone when he’s drunk

You can always count on her to belt the lyrics to a Chaka Khan, TLC, or paula abdul joint when she’s drunk lol

As for the girls? She’s close with miki 😒 they just seem to be on the same wavelength when it comes to the pressure of the media since they have some sort of fame which increased with them being on the Telly. They bond over that & from there they’ve built a solid friendship

She could also be friends with AJ too (if you didn’t get swiped from her that is lmao!) they’re sorta opposites with aj being high energy/active while Yasmin is more mellow & “mysterious” but seem to connect in different ways: their sexual indentities, insecurities/anxieties, having something to be passionate about but at the same time maybe not? She might lean towards elladine or Genevieve if she had to make a choice?

Aquarius sun + cancer moon

so she’s still 23 y’all, I got it! I can’t do math sorry

“Freddie Mercury was probably my dad in my past life.”

Can play the banjo, guitar, & oud

Participates in hot yoga weekly

If she’s not with mc in the end and continues dating around if anyone from season two: LUCAS, Kassam, Gary, Rocco, maybe Blake? I originally thought Elisa but she’s probably too much for yas let’s be honest here lol they’d be better off as friends

Omg I forgot marisol! Imagine that?! Whew!!!

Season three: maybe Lily? But what if? Me being the slightly messy bitch that I am? Something happening with her & AJ. Now that?! Would be some chaotic shit “from the outside looks of it” name the irrelevant person behind the quote...now!

I’d like to see her interact with allerga but there could be something with her & cherry. I’m thinking cherry, Yasmin, & priya would bond well but we’re not here to talk about that

Getting rid of the physical aspect I genuinely think she’d do well with marisol, Lucas, or kassam. They’d mesh well I think in a relationship

She’s a body shimmer girl for sure!

Loves silk or satin robes

she’s a shortie, 5’2 to 5’5

Is learning Spanish

Loves arcade games, come see her in pinball & Pac-Man!

Quarantine life did not change her lifestyle much, but it did slightly mess with her mental health :/

loves the fall time, feels like she can slow down some and really spend time with family and friends

I feel like she has one best friend outside of the villa & that’s good enough for her!

They met their first year in uni & been close ever since

She doesn’t speak to the temporary friends she grew up with anymore & is often confused why they feel the need to keep up with her in the media which added more annoying worries to her heart but whatever right? Keep your eyes on the horizon

celebs she finds/found attractive: Aaliyah—especially when she played in queen of the damned, Kehlani, Zazie Beetz, Fivel & Booboo Stewart, Lakeith stanfield, Leah Lewis, Sofia Carson, Ryan gosling, & Nick Jonas

She listens to: jade bird, Yebba, Elli Ingram, Wafia, Zeina, Summer walker, Tanerèlle, Mariah the scientist, Teyana Taylor, Tove Lo, lady Gaga, Ra Ra Riot, Empire of the sun, & smallpools

Anthem? Diana Gordon — Rollin’

[seeds-and-sins]

The Seeds accepting you, a young kid, into their family would be like...

• To the surprise of others, cult members and sinners alike, your acceptance into the family happened the moment you met them.

• Your drunk father was being the abusive piece of shit he was at one of Joseph's Sermons and Jacob Seed intervened without hesitation.

• Within weeks John Seed found a way to legally remove you from your father's custody and assign the family as your permanent guardians.

• John pulled some strings even further and your father was sent to prison for child abuse. Needless to say, you won't see him for a while.

• The Seed siblings, at first, had a hard time figuring out who you would live with.

• So you had a room at each of their abodes, free to live with any one of them, whenever you so chose.

• John would spoil you with an endless array of gifts and excessive affectionate hugs and forehead kisses. He would take you flying in his plane whenever you stayed over at his ranch. He even let you fly it one time, but don't tell Joseph.

• Family dinners every friday night were your favorite.

• John would make the meal and it would suck, but nobody wanted to hurt his feelings, so he never would know.

• Jacob would secretly pass his food down to his wolf sitting under the table, motioning for you to be quiet about it with a wink.

• Family conversations sometimes turning into bickering...

• "Unicorns are real! Okay?! The Bible says so!"

• Joseph and you had a garden together that the both of you would work on when you were at his compound. He would read scripture to you, teach you lessons about the world, and talk to you about the collapse.

• Jacob was more about tough love. He had high expectations of you in terms of being efficient when it came to protecting yourself, surviving in the wilderness, and acknowledging your surroundings. (But every now and again, he would allow you to sleep in his arms if you had a nightmare about your abuse, or were afraid).

• Faith, you went to when you had emotional issues, or questions, or when you wanted female company. You both would have sleepovers and she would give you all the sweets you could imagine.

• Family photos where they all are extra and try to get single photos with you. (There might be a fight over who is the favorite parent, but Jacob doesn't call himself parent as much he does guardian).

• Joseph has one really cute photo of John, Jacob and you, that he hides in his journal. It was the day you got officially baptized and as Jacob was trying to help you out of the river, John and you yanked him in.

• You started playing basketball at your highschool, now that your father was gone you had more confidence to explore your interests. And the Seeds were more than enthusiastic about you being more active and social.

• At home games, they would be the ones cheering for you in the stands, the loudest spectators, even Jacob would participate in the madness (mainly to threaten the referee for calling fouls on you).

• Jacob and John worked with you often to make sure that you were the best player on the team. Jacob more so, would force you to train as much as possible.

• The coach let Jacob take over practice one time, since he usually watched on the sidelines. No one made it to the end of pratice, except for you.

• One of your fellow team mates going, "I hope your dad never runs practice ever again."

• Jacob yelling, "Cull the herd!", aggressively, anytime you got the ball.

• Joseph pulling you aside at half time and explaining, "My child, remember when I said violence wasn't the answer? Yes, well, this might be the one time where I am wrong."

• John bragging about you to the opposing team's parents, "Oh look! There they go again! Out running all of your children and scoring on them."

• Your sophmore year you almost failed math, you had good grades in your other classes, but the teacher wouldn't budge. It was your worst subject.

• At away games, it was almost like the whole cult was there to cheer you on. They would take two massive buses of members who would come see you play.

• Your math teacher never called for a parent-teacher conference ever again. Your grade became a C shortly after that meeting.

• John calling your math teacher and saying, "It would be a shame if (insert random blackmail information) became public."

• You being the best in PE class, with none of the kids being able to catch up, because Jacob Seed trained you every early morning. You were a force to be reckoned with.

• When you started dating, the whole family was very protective of you.

• Jacob and John were more direct when it came to threatening your boyfriend/girlfriend about being good to you.

• "If you try anything, I will carve the sin from your flesh myself. No one will be able to save you, and when I am done with you, well..." John's words fading into a deep chuckle, with that leering smile on his expression.

• Jacob crossed arms, stern posture, "Hmm, I hope you know where you belong, you pathetic weak little-" He stopped at Joseph's glare, "Especially where your hands belong, or else you'll lose'em."

• Your first ex ended up finding snakes in their pillow case before they went to bed one night. Jacob swore 'he had nothing to do with it' and John couldn't stop smiling.

• Faith and Joseph were sweet and kind, but their words had a warning lurking beneath them.

• "My child, you are so full of life. I would be very disappointed should something happen that would require that life to be slowly taken from you. I will pray for you." And Joseph traced a cross onto their forehead, which they couldn't have know that that meant they were marked.

• "It's so nice to know that they think you deserve them." Faith placing a hand on her chest, mockingly being kind to your date. "They are so giving and genuine aren't they? Let's hope they are right... for your sake."

• Your boyfriend/girlfriend had to ask permission before taking you to the local drive in.

• Jacob and John stopping you before you leave, "Don't forget that one neck breaking move that I showed you" and "Do you have that knife that I gave you last Christmas".

• When they give you the talk, Jacob was completely absent from the conversation, John wouldn't stop nervously pacing, and Faith and Joseph were mainly doing the talking.

• Jacob piping in at the end, to Joseph's aggravation, "Just make sure you wrap it up, kid."

• "Only when married can two partners share eachother in such an intimate and loving embrace," Joseph explains.

• Jacob admitting, "Ya'know kid, I actually don't mind having you around, and I don't like having anybody around."

• Joseph always saying, "After I lost my daughter, I never thought the Lord would gift me with another child, and then... and then we found you."

• Take your kid to work day, where John takes you to one of the Project's many court hearings at the Missoula courthouse.

• "My daughter/son would be a better lawyer than you ever could be and they haven't even become a lawyer yet."

• All the other cult members practically babysitting you, or watching your back while the Seeds did the Lord's work.

• Jacob giving you your very own Judge, that follows you around the Veteran's Center and elsewhere when he is busy.

• John Seed tried to cook for you one time and it came out horrible, so you both just started get pre-made meals in the mail.

• Prom night at the Hope County Highschool was a night to remember because John, Joseph, Jacob, and Faith all chaperoned.

• When no one wanted to dance with you in fear of your four parents, the Seeds each had one dance with you.

• John, Faith, and you pranked Jacob into beating up your PE teacher, with a disapproving Joseph on the sidelines.

• You all ended up back at the ranch anyways, for a family dinner.

• When you graduated high school, John Seed revealed his secret stash of wine to you, "You are old enough in my book."

• You having trouble figuring out what you want to do in life.

• "Whatever you do, whether its here with us, or not, we will support you."

• Jacob swelling with pride when you join the Army (but secretly afraid because he doesn't want you to go through what he went through), John nearly crying when you explain you want to become a JAG, and be a lawyer like him.

• John calling you to talk about the family and complain, Jacob rarely calling or accepting your phone calls (he doesn't like phones so much, but you know he cares), Joseph and you communicate through letters, and Faith always FaceTimes or Skypes you.

• When the first seal is broken, the Family urges you to return home to help prepare for the collapse.

• Even as you rushed to get back, there was not enough time.

• You don't make it back before the collapse and end up stuck in someone else's bunker, an individual that you soon come to be friends with.

• Joseph gives you a frantic welcome, crying and holding you in his vice grasp. He explains what happened, how Jacob, John and Faith were killed.

• When the seven years ends, you head straight to Hope County, your bunk mate and you head your separate ways. You look for your family with all of the energy you have, and you find them. There is only one left.

• And then you cry and feel guilty, because you blame yourself for not getting back in time. But Joseph talks you out of that guilt and explains to you that what we do now will be in their honor.

• Ethan being slightly jealous when Joseph shows you more love and affection than him.

• Joseph and you talk about them often.

• And he introduces you to the man you would call your brother, Ethan.

• Together, the three of you try to build what your family had always wanted.

• Joseph stating with so much appreciation and gratefulness in his voice, "You came back safe to me, you came back home. I am proud of you, and John, Jacob, and Faith would be so proud of you too."

• And you never once realized that the Judge was, in fact, the murderer of your beloved parents.

• At least you had Joseph and Ethan...

• Since the day Jacob punched your dad across the jaw in the church, "I know what it's like. No one will ever touch you like that ever again", he promised.

• The day that John stood in a court room and fought for you, "You are one of us now, and we Seeds protect eachother."

• The day that Joseph wrapped a blanket around you, "I knew you would come to us, to be part of our family."

• And the day that Faith held you in her loving embrace, "Everything happens for a reason, my little flower."

• That was the day you became a Seed.

[peepingtoad]

OKAY SO. 

It’s not that often that I talk about what I really think about Jiraiya, and I guess I mean more how I feel about him, since I always try to write my ‘deeper’ headcanons/metas from a more... idk, trying not to get too emotional about it point of view. Basically it’s because I know how controversial he is, and I pretty much ritually avoid a lot of takes because I don’t want to get irritated about something that really doesn’t matter much in the grand scheme, because we’re all entitled to our opinions and I largely get my say through the act of writing and developing him how I see fit.

Which is enough for me, mostly, but for the purpose of reinforcing/building upon how I see my muse’s plight, working through some of my Sannin-feels and also to dip my toes into why I find blindly judgemental/single-faceted takes of him, his priorities and the Sannin’s bond so exasperating, I kinda feel like rambling my thoughts (feelings) anyway! 

Politely sticks this stream-of-consciousness mess under a cut.

So sometimes I do think about the fact that Jiraiya kinda, lmao, forgot about Everything Else in the world because of Orochimaru and his (frankly) obsession with him/them. And the fact that a ridiculously significant portion of bad shit that happened is down to his actions/inaction. And the fact that he really did go and leave the likes of Naruto (and maybe to a degree Kakashi, although there’s zero actual evidence he didn’t get involved given the strong indications of a great rapport in the canon), just because he was so hellbent on pursuing Orochimaru, who was not even shown to be affectionate towards him at the best of times. When I think about it in terms of Jiraiya being gone and the main reason we’re given for it, things suck for a number of people, and quite largely because of potentially unrequited/horribly communicated/obsessive JiraOro pursuits, in essence :’)

(And for all it’s still quite the rarepair, Jiraiya does express on accounts that he was destroyed when Oro left. I mean... this is the guy who rarely acknowledges his sadness so... It’s not my bias at all I sware)

Of course JiraTsu is very real in my eyes too, albeit a very different kinda tragic, as is OroTsu. And the messy poly ship? Ohohoho, even better, but... yeah. Tsunade does at least go her own way for a long time, as messed up as that is in itself, for reasons including the fact she seems to pointedly not heal or move on from her grief. And given the absolute debacle that was her and Jiraiya reuniting... and both her and Oro even discussing a possibility of sacrificing him... and just, them in general for that whole arc :’))) yeah. They are without a doubt messy and troubled, but even despite how fraught things become I genuinely think all the furtive expressions and the undercurrents of longing and the evasion of their past exhibits a history much deeper and full of lost love compared to many other team dynamics we get (otherwise the Three Way Divorce wouldn’t have been quite so horrible on them, would it? That and they’d probably have split up after Team Hiruzen was no more, if they really hated each other/just tolerated each other out of familiarity like I sometimes see speculated).

But yeah, back to our main man. Jiraiya’s intense (and frankly very Scorpio of him) love for our first series Big Bad kinda did ruin him and what he was setting out to do in some ways, to the degree that the actual story of Naruto wouldn’t be very much without him in terms of drama. I mean, he always loved a good story, right? So art imitates life, and innit just pathetic poetic.

And in so many ways it is incredibly tragic and pitiable that he’s Just Like That. Idealistic and warping everything terrible, no matter how bad, into adventure in his mind! As growth! As pain that makes you TOUGH and makes you a stronger man! As something to be pushed aside while you just keep on truckin’! Whatever anyone you love throws at you, it’s Totally Fine!

After so long narrating through his personal lens, I’ve come to realise he truly is so convinced that everything bad that happens, is sort of just... something he has to deal with and feel big and guilty and feelsy for while spinning it in ways that enable him to keep going. He just loads it on himself and sorta holds it. The fact he’s so sad and filled with sickly pining grief that he has to try and exorcise it with impulsive bouts of decadence? Fine. And it’s not abnormal at all, how he approaches things with such broad scope and just kinda... thoughtlessly wrecking-balls his way through everything he thinks is a great idea at the time. He experiences the fallout of these things and simultaneously feels the entire ravages of it acutely while compartmentalising it ever so neatly away. The crazy thing, too, is that he’s exceptionally convincing at making everything he does and how he handles things seem so grand and noble and romantic and tragic... but in a humorously self-deprecating and still ultimately very hopeful way, to the degree that I as a mun get caught up in his relentless optimism and forget he actually is a sad and heartbroken guy wrapped up in all this grandiosity.

Sometimes I do step back and look and I just think yeah, fuck, he really is a total disaster! He’s a walking disaster and he’s been so damaging to himself and others in so many ways, all because of acting on emotions and impulses without really thinking about the impact! He really did kinda give up on those who needed him and for what? A love that will never love him or prioritise him back? 

A wonderfully tragic theme that I do love with him, don’t get me wrong.

But then at the same time, there’s always more nuance to be had than just ‘he is a disaster and made bad choices, as tragic and romantic as it is, he was actually just selfish and kinda sucked in the end, pathetically whipped by his friends and unable to let go of what they had’. There’s more nuance to be had than reducing him to a purely romantically-inclined character, who just snubs everyone else for a doomed love... because in the end, I think a huge part of JiraOro’s demise in particular was that Oro felt immensely snubbed by Jiraiya when he stayed in Ame, when his loyalty to Konoha (as a place and people, not necessarily a system) and of course loyalty to his own ideals was prioritised over Oro.

To an extent, I feel like Tsunade could have been a similar case, were she not preoccupied with already having lost so much, and besides I really do think she and Jiraiya were quite firmly in best friend zone at that point. With Tsunade not being able to get comfortable around Jiraiya or to pursue any underlying affection for him because of the dumbass way he always behaved (understandably of her tbh), probably until she got with Dan, by which point I reckon Jiraiya started to really come through by showing how he valued her for her, where we see by them having each other’s backs so closely in the second war. Not to mention him generally respecting that his feelings for her have no place by the time he gets her back to Konoha.

In terms of that first split in Ame, Jiraiya, I feel, simply didn’t think him leaving was going to be a big deal, because the three were always fiercely headstrong people who had their own shit going on (simultaneously independent while also being, perhaps not to their knowledge, So Very Codependent). Not only that, but his overly affectionate ways and incessant jolliness were probably considered such a joke that he was basically like ‘they’ll be fine without me’. I certainly don’t think he felt needed by them, which I don’t think is their fault or a point of angst and ‘waaah poor blameless Jiraiya’, because quite honestly, the strain on their relationship was something I fully believe even he didn’t realise he needed out of at the time. His one-track mind was just on ‘save kids, teach kids, this is right, must seize opportunity to be the change I was told I’d be, not continue with this godforsaken war’

Selfish? Maybe. Well-intentioned? Certainly. Intended to hurt anyone or imply he stopped caring? No.

In essence, when it comes to why in the end Jiraiya seemed to be so horrendously bad at being around at the worst of times, at being responsible, whatever else (and I’m not even going to go into scenes intended to be comedic because, they are comedic)... I’ve got to look at it from more than just one view. It’s easy to say ‘he’s ridiculous and terrible because he pretty much flaked on what was important based on his whims/a doomed love/his dick’ (which I have seen said lmao) but there are so many other things at play here.

So I’m thinking, while he was shirking duties (godfatherly mainly)... did he actually consider that his most important duty? Was it anyone’s place to tell him it was? Minato didn’t, as I recall, and when he sacrificed himself he specifically left it to the Third because he (presumably) respected what his teacher was about and knew he wasn’t for staying put. Did Jiraiya not consider his primary duty to be to the prophecy, and in a more general sense fixing the big wrongs and trying to foil big dangers to his home? Were these things not pretty much what he existed for (as much as his faith wavered and went off the rails at times)? Was that not the main source of any real purpose he ever had, being a kid who showed practically no ambition before? Did he not pretty much redesign himself as being ‘from Mt. Myōboku’ rather than Konoha after two devastating wars, and thus is it not understandable for him not to focus solely on Konoha—not outright destroying it, still ultimately loyal to his home and not about to let anyone destroy it, but seeing that the world is in fact so much bigger than just his little town? Is that really something that’s so bad and wrong of him, in a story where the main cast’s country has a pretty fucking nasty system and is established to do so very early on? Is he not pretty revolutionary in his own brand of not blindly serving, but not going on a destroy-it-all frenzy either?

Also, was he not the only one who actually bothered to investigate Akatsuki and the forces that would see Naruto dead, in time? For all he did help bring Akatsuki into existence in ways, it was inevitable from before he even met the orphans that they were going to be groomed/moulded into what they became, regardless of whether Jiraiya came onto the scene. Jiraiya leaving them was just a different kind of suffering to what they were inevitably going to suffer anyway, and hell, with his influence at least there was a time where they might’ve stood a chance of going totally against Madara/Obito’s path, especially while Yahiko was still around. Jiraiya didn’t know that the whole thing with the Ame orphans was, by a design out of his control, doomed to end horribly. So while he felt personally responsible not knowing this, and it’s taken as a given that he was... actually, was he, when there was a master manipulator at play? Was it wrong to want to give some kids a chance?

With regards to all those things I see people say he should have stayed and fixed, that he should have been there, he should have done x y z... Is it not the responsibility of everyone not satisfied with their lot to step up to the plate and make where they live better? Jiraiya wasn’t the only adult. Tsunade, and I absolutely love her, does seem overwhelmingly to be absolved of leaving Konoha because... ??? Kicker is that she too is related to Naruto, of course. 

So... was she not also needed for the very material ways she could’ve helped at numerous points? Was she not also placing her grief and lost love before everything else? Are some reasons inherently more ok than others to ditch? As Kakashi’s generation grew up, was it not also then up to them to decide whether they’d change the status quo? Were Minato’s own generation, presumably his own peer group, not complicit in Naruto’s ostracisation? We got a slight taste of rebellion with Asuma, Hiruzen’s own son, but the fact is many Konoha-nin were overwhelmingly complacent with how things were. And yet never get demonised at all for it. Because it’s Jiraiya’s fault for... not staying and giving it all up to be a guardian who could well be depressed and unfit to raise a child... or just being a flaky as hell one that’s never there anyway because he has shit to do? (and in doing the former would let too many things go unchecked by a completely tuned-out Hokage, not gathering all that spicy useful intel, y’know... essentially he wouldn’t have ended up largely doing his job along with the personal shit in between).

Basically when I see claims saying that Jiraiya as an individual should have done pretty much everything better, and somehow been there for everyone that needed him at any given time, and that (mostly Naruto’s) suffering was a failing on Just His part because of his selfish whims... I feel like the point of his tragedy is absolutely missed. That tragedy being that barrelling through things alone is definitely a failing and harmful in numerous ways, as we see with Itachi shouldering everything alone too, and we see them both miss out on Naruto and Sasuke as a result... but at the same time, is just settling down and leaving everything else to chance not also a huge failing, when there are so many other circumstances and enemies acting against you, when you do have the power to change tides, and when so many other people refuse to or can’t seize their own agency? Jiraiya does put his faith in a lot of people too, and a lot of people fail. Don’t fail him, but in a general sense many, like Minato, fail to make the change they wanted to. That’s life in this world, it’s tragic, and after losing a lot of loved ones yeah, he retreats and goes at it alone. 

But how can he win? How does he do what’s right, other than by chasing what he thinks he can do to actually help the world, which happens to be bigger and not centred on individuals, even those he cares about?

(and remember, nobody knows Naruto is special-reincarnation-prophecy-boi, which is why I tend not to blame-game any characters for him being treated like so many orphans were because... while it’s not morally right or nice at all, it’s tone deaf to how the world is, to the fact all characters having different degrees of knowledge and priorities, and it’s insensitive of the fact most the characters had their own struggles and were just doing their best with a bad lot gdi). 

Hell though, Jiraiya even does put Oro, his big obsessive wild goose chase that whisks him away into selfish pining hopelessly devoted land, on the back burner at points. Maybe not in a lasting way, particularly by the last databook where he’s inspired anew by Naruto, but he does prioritise other shit on numerous occasions. And there’s a lot of shit to try and prioritise.

What I’m trying to say is, Jiraiya can’t solely be held responsible for people. Sure, he’s a character whose decisions were pivotal to events, but what of every other character in the story? Why are they not held to the same crazy high standard of doing and protecting and preventing and somehow doing everything ‘right’ that would have also meant him fitting neatly into the Konoha mould? Would other characters really have been that much better in the position of The Big Guide/Martyr/Tragic Hero/Force For Change character? And also is having a tragic Chaotic Good bastard of a hero not a sign of a damn good and interesting character, that at the very least tried where so many others didn’t? Would Naruto not have been a boring as hell story, whose main protag didn’t really have much conflict to make him compelling, without Jiraiya (among others) being a mess with the best intentions? Without so many other characters having failed him, for him to overcome it and still be able to love and inspire change (albeit through sometimes-clumsy talk-no-jutsu)? Was I missing the point of the story?

............. Hmm!

No longer sure where else I’m going with this now, so.... here, I guess, ends my ode to why character hate (especially that reduces them to One Thing) is dumb, why demonising truly well-meaning characters doesn’t feel particularly woke to me in a cast full of flawed characters and horrible circumstance, and why I’ll defend this poor bastard with far too damn much hinging on him to the end I guess :’)

TL;DR HE’S A DUMBASS AND HE TRIED, OKAY?!

[vaguely-concerned]

Some more mass effect andromeda thinky thoughts as I run around heleus getting some achievements! 

- the murderous angaran ai is genuinely so fucking funny. “How are you feeling here on Aya?” “I hope you die” “Is there anything we could do to make you more comfortable?” “BURY THIS PLANET UNDER FIRE AND ASH” “o.oookay. Goodbye then.” “I HATE you.”

- I hope I never become irresistibly moved to write mass effect andromeda fic b/c there really is no other description for a good 70% of the expressions reyes makes than :> and how could one capture that in words

- as mentioned I’ve been doing a bit of achievement hunting and in the process I’ve been switching up a lot of gameplay stuff from how I handled it the first few times around and let me tell you it’s baller as fuuuuuuuuuck -- it just looks so awesome and is so satisfying between the maneuverability of the jetpack and biotic charge and the effects. special shoutout to what happens if you biotic charge a frozen victim enemy and the biotic pull/push combination. (throwing people around like ragdolls is actually so much fun I’ve kept doing it even after I unlocked the achievement lol)

- lol lol when you get meridian online there’s the montage of every planet coming back to life, right? well the one on kadara is from inside kralla’s song, with umi looking out at everything that’s happening. and all I can imagine is her jaded-ass voice going ‘what the fUCK did that asshole kid do now I only just cleaned up after the bar brawl he started with his krogan grandpa and now he’s rearranging the entire fucking planet right from under us goddess I need a drink’ 

- the implication that reyes ‘cards so close to my chest you won’t even know I’m playing’ vidal just does not shut up about how amazing ryder is to anyone who’ll listen gives me so much life. when you try to be mysterious and laidback but the human pathfinder is so fucking cute tho Y____Y (also go watch his scenes if you’re being standoffish with him the entire time -- he clearly wants ryder to like him so much right from the beginning, he’s doing so much work to no avail and I feel sort of bad for how funny I find it haha. interesting that it really does seem to be an emotional thing as well as y’know the practical/tactical benefits of having the pathfinder on his side. methinks the charlatan might be a bit lonely there behind all his masks lol) 

I think this is why I’m willing to give him some benefit of the doubt too, despite all the cloak and dagger stuff -- he’s so immediately drawn to ryder, who you can never make a bad person, really. something in him must respond to that, if potentially only in the ‘attracted to traits I do not possess myself’ way hahaha

- I love sam. so so much. some of the open world implementation is still grating (yes sam. yes I know I can mine this area for resources through my mining interface. we’ve been doing this for a hundred hours sam. you’ve been right here with me the entire time sam. please sam), but he’s SUCH a good and I’d argue underutilized concept (emotionally at least) and the best boy. the fact that he can get SARCASTIC on you fsdhfjsadh he’s growing and learning! he’s doing so from inside your brain which is kind of unsettling but also SO COOL! there’s something about that level of intimacy, of always knowing there will be someone there with you in your head that is super interesting and deserves to be examined more fully -- both how it could be comforting and how it’s  r e a l l y  not how people or ai are generally designed to work lol. 

he also gives us a unique link with our dad and I wonder if the writers would have explored that in more depth if there’d been more development time -- it practically SCREAMS out an invitation to get to play/see things from alec’s POV in short bursts, like the memories you unlock except you could go through playing it as him since sam is common to both of us. (see my ‘our dad comes back through either kett or remnant nonsense in the sequel and we need to find some way to connect with him’ idea. it would be. amazing. listen alec already looked at the ethical guidelines involved in creating ai and went ‘huh interesting ideas but not for me thanks!’, don’t tell me he wouldn’t have left some loophole in so this could happen)  

- reyes literally says ‘the cavalry’s here’ when we get to meridian and I for one love him more than words can express (he also asks us if we’re okay in sort of a sweet/worried way right before we get to the control room. aw buddy) 

- like we don’t think of them like that because we’re in control of them and see all the stumbles and awkwardness and how young they are all the time, but damn the ryder twins must look like something else to everyone in andromeda haha. they literally stride around like demigods restoring entire planets. on voeld spring non-metaphorically follows in their footsteps. shit dude if we’re talking realpolitik here the angara must feel  p r e t t y nervous about this -- there’s no one saying they can’t turn off the vaults as easily as they turned them on. I hope we get them somehow teaching the angara how to do it too, on a smaller scale at least, as a show of good faith or something in a sequel, because that power imbalance is disconcerting  

- I’m glad sam and I have such similar priorities whenever we’re on kadara. ‘maybe mr vidal would know. perhaps we should ask mr vidal about this. mr vidal said something relating to this pathfinder maybe we should speak to him’ . yeah sam i know the feeling, same (it does undeniably read as sam having a bit of a crush which is. hilarious?) 

- the fact that alec ryder thought ellen responded to his bad boy act in any way when what really charmed her was that he was a great big nerd <3 it’s kind of nice to see a fictional marriage that seems to have just been. nice and stable and chill? just two intellectual equals who like and respect each other very much and not a lot of drama until alec went full alec and started developing rogue ai instead of watching his wife die lol. again I would love for the sequel to involve ellen finally waking up and being like ‘death? trying to claim MY husband? I do not think so, I can die he can’t he’s not leaving me behind’ and helping out and you realize that the reason they were soulmates was that under the relatively rational and unemotional surface they’re both, at heart, batshit crazy mad scientists who are insanely devoted to each other. imagine it tho! the people of andromeda realize alec ryder is back from the dead somehow and doing some Shit out there, they put a ton of resources into curing ellen’s disease because their best shot is something to do with the implants she made, hey presto we’ve got all ryders on the board and in play. 

- just want to make it clear that I’m still sad about avitus rix and hope he’s having a good day

- do you think ryder ever asks sam to read something to him ‘aloud’ in his head if he’s anxious and can’t sleep. or just to talk at him about something boring until he nods off. again the possibilities inherent in the concept!!! he has someone who’s closer to him than any other person could be, what’s that like? 

- *me sticking to my sidewinder pistol the whole playthrough even though it’s laughably inefficient* I just wanna feel like a cowboy bioware please work with me here

- the male ryder voice actor has such amazing comedic timing, there’s a lot of reaction stuff out in the field he absolutely nails. I enjoy the female voice too and I like how much emotion she manages to convey towards the end of the game especially, but there’s a casual comedy in male ryder’s voice that can’t be beat. (well, it’s not hawke levels, but then nothing ever is, that’s too much to ask)

- I love vorn and kesh so much. nerd krogans unite & make out

- I still want to sit peebee down and have a long serious talk with her about emotional abuse, maybe give her a hug :( fuck kalinda 

- this game does not get enough credit for how stunningly beautiful it is, it all got buried under criticism about the animations and it’s a fucking shame. the last few vaults you go through are just mindboggling in scale and visual uh striking-ness. it makes me so sad to think there won’t be any more of it D: 

- I really like this mainly casual + logical dialogue options ryder I’ve found; it makes him sound like a younger and more irreverent version of his father, but also softer and less closed off and much more willing to show affection for his family especially. 

- i wonder if different people’s individual SAMs will take on a certain tone/unique pattern when they’ve coexisted long enough. have I mentioned. how much I want a sequel to this game 

- one last reyes note because don’t look at me okay -- I wonder how much we’re meant to read into ‘being honorable never got me anywhere’. on the one hand I’m fully prepared to believe he’s never even tried doing anything the honorable way in his entire life lol but on the other there’s also some interesting potential in the interplay of that sentence and ‘to be someone’. (there seems to be a deep fear in him both of powerlessness and of being truly seen/recognized -- he equates secrecy with safety pretty explicitly -- which seems... telling? of what I don’t know but telling all the same hahaha) like he might be saying he’s tried doing things the ‘right’ way and it didn’t work and the price was too high, so he just went for this instead with the ends low-key justifying the means. hmmm. :Ia (this is what happens when I get Attached to a character with like an hour of screentime my friends, and I’m already primed to give my entire heart away at the sound of nicholas boulton’s voice)

[eponymous-rose]

Fic: After Hours [Jester, Beau | T | 1200 words]

[FFN | AO3 | 2018 Fic | 2017 Fic] 

Jester visits a temple and engages in a little artistic liberty. Beau's just along for the ride.

Kenopsia: The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.

After Hours

Beau sighs. "Remind me how I got dragged into this?"

Jester shushes her. Loudly. "Because you're a very good friend and roommate who is always very helpful."

"Because I've got official-looking Cobalt Soul robes in case we get caught," Beau translates. "Hang on, asshole walking by in a second here."

Jester freezes in place, the soft scraping of dagger against stone coming to a ragged stop, until Beau finally looks back at her to nod the all-clear. Jester resumes her efforts, her tongue poking between her teeth in concentration. "But you definitely mainly came because you think I'm super beautiful and clever and wonderful to be around."

"Yup. That too." So much of what Beau says is sarcastic that it's sometimes kind of hard to tell when she's being deeply emotional and sincere. Jester is pretty sure this is one of those moments.

She works in contented silence for a while, though she knows she'll probably have to retire this dagger from stabby use for a bit if she keeps blunting it on stone like this. Nott probably won't mind. Anyway, she didn't even notice when Jester took it a few weeks ago, so it's technically everyone's dagger at this point, technically. She blows on the scraped bits of stone and watches the dust puff out, hanging in the air like motes in the beams of moonlight shining in through the window.

Apparently bored at the lack of passersby or angry devotees, Beau wanders up to lean over her shoulder and inspect her work. She whistles low. "Damn, Jes. That's a good one."

"Yeah?"

"Like, from an abstract aesthetic perspective? Very nice. Super veiny. Sort of... obscenely detailed."

Jester settles back on her haunches, beaming. "So it's obvious it's a dick, then? Only I saw the eye symbol and thought, wow, you know what else sort of has an eye—"

"Yup. Yeah. Hard to miss. Brings a whole new meaning to the word 'eyeballs'." Beau yawns hugely, stretching her arms over her head while Jester pulls out her set of paints. "You do realize you're vandalizing a temple to the god that my order worships, right?"

Jester pauses partway through mixing a nice vivid magenta, glancing back. "Is that okay?"

Beau scrunches up her face for a second, and Jester feels her heart fall somewhere down in the vicinity of the floor. Then Beau gives a short, sharp bark of laughter. "Nah, I'm just messing with you. Go for it. Nobody needs a sense of humor more than these kinds of people, anyway."

"Right?" Swallowing her worry, Jester starts on the first brushstrokes. "You're going to love this one," she says, a little bit to Beau, but mostly to the Traveler.

She practically hears Beau's expression shift behind her; she's way more of a nerd than she likes to pretend, and her particular brand of belligerent curiosity involves a lot of suspicious squinting. "How does that work, anyway? Can you, like, feel his presence when you do shit like this?"

Jester shrugs. "Sometimes. When I was little, I thought it was just what being creative felt like. Little tingles down your spine. Momma said she got it sometimes when she was thinking about a new song to sing and she figured out something super good. But then I was like, 'Well, Momma, what about when the tingles down your back turn into an actual hand on your shoulder?' and she was like, 'What?' and I was like, 'What about when the hand on your shoulder turns into a whole person and he's super cool and talks to you?' and she was like, '...What?' And I kind of figured out the Traveler was something special that only happened to me."

Except, she thinks, that's not true. Not only to her. Ever since finding out she isn't the only one, this really annoying part of her brain keeps flooding her with images of little kids growing up all across the Empire—little kids who probably already had so many friends—and meeting the Traveler, learning from him, following his teachings. She hates how sad that makes her feel, sometimes. How angry. It shouldn't, right? It's all really great, right? Everyone should know the Traveler, right? Right.

She shakes her head and works on mixing a familiar forest green. Beau meanders back to her lookout post, keeping time with the odd impatient sigh. When it starts to get annoying, Jester leans back and swipes a bit of sweat off her brow. "Art can't be rushed, Beau."

"Bullshit," Beau says, cheerfully enough. "I've seen you tattoo people so fast they weren't really sure what happened. This place is creepy, man. I don't want to hang out here all night."

Jester stares up at the vaulted ceiling, but her back's already aching from hunching to paint over the engravings around this column, and she's pretty much done anyway, so she just gives up and flops onto her back on the stone floor. "I think it's really pretty."

"Creepy," Beau repeats, emphatic. "It's just so empty and quiet at night."

"I thought you'd like sneaking around at night."

There's a snort from Beau's general direction. "Don't get me wrong. Skulduggery, stealing, kicking ass, bootlegging family wine, it's all best when it's quiet. But it's still creepy. Kind of lonely and weird."

"Oh," Jester says. "I always really liked being in the Chateau when it was empty. You know, if Momma wasn't feeling well or just wanted some quiet time to ourselves for a while. It's fun, seeing a place when it's not supposed to be seen. Like seeing some really fancy guy, only he's just wearing socks and a silk string wrapped around his—"

"Man, you saw some weird shit."

Jester grins at the ceiling, then closes her eyes, feeling the chill wind whistling through the open window. "But it's like, here's how things are supposed to be, and then here's the version only you get to see, and that one's special and just for you. How many people do you think see this temple when it's closed, with the moonlight coming in like this?"

Beau's clothing rustles; she's pacing around the room, judging by her footfalls. "Not that many."

"Right? And we're definitely the only ones who have seen it when there's this amazing colorful dick carved into the stone. So this version of the temple is ours. And sometimes it's good to have things that are only yours. Important, you know?"

Beau stays quiet for a while, so Jester opens one eye and catches her looking out the window, wistful and unguarded. Then she glances back, smirks at Jester, and stalks over, offering her a hand. "C'mon. I think your artistry's going to be thoroughly appreciated in a few hours, and we probably shouldn't be here for that part."

Jester accepts the yank to her feet, and when she glances at her handiwork—a masterfully engraved and painted magenta dick in a little forest green cloak—she feels an immediate wash of amused approval. "Yeah. I think that's a good place to end it. Thanks, Beau."

"Well, someone told me you're super beautiful and clever and wonderful to be around, so what choice did I have?" Beau slaps her on the shoulder, then stalks toward the window they'd forced open to get in.

Jester lingers, staring around the quiet room for a moment with a satisfied, possessive smile. Then she turns and follows Beau, tingles running up and down her spine.

[lactosecarrotsoup]

My thoughts on Sean & Finn’s kiss

This will be long and of course contain spoilers, as if you can’t tell by the title... thingy. So, be warned. This will also contain my opinion(s); which is a very sensitive subject in this fandom. 

We’re all entitled to our own thoughts, opinions, beliefs, etc.

With that said, let’s get started!

For those who are new to this game... I will give you a short summery. Life is Strange is a video game series ran by DontNod. A great company who loves to make players cry. This season has new characters from the other season and DLC. This season takes place in Washington where you play as a 16 year old boy, Sean Diaz, who’s a regular teenager. He loves drawing, skating, and of course stereotypical teen stuff such as drugs and parties. Taking away the partying and drug usage, he’s your typical shy-ish guy. He also has a little brother named Daniel, he’s 9 years old.

Both of them are Hispanic, including their father (Esteban), making this season’s cast more diverse than the first season, where the main characters were mainly white.

Speaking of their father, he dies. Yep. After Sean forces Daniel out of his room, Daniel runs to their hot-headed neighbor and accidentally spills homemade zombie blood on him. Sean over see’s the neighbor about to hurt Daniel and rushes out the house, protecting him. After a few racial slurs/crude remarks to Daniel, Sean decides to fight him. Sean shoves the neighbor onto a small rock (which I still dont understand how that injured him), and he lays on the ground in shock/going unconscious.

A cop shows up and hell breaks loose. The cop only see’s the “blood” on the neighbors shirt and Daniels, thinking nothing but the worst of the situation rather than questioning them. The dad comes out, trying to reason with the officer and he gets trigger happy, shooting Sean & Daniel’s dad, killing him. Daniel screams in shock/anger/horror and Sean blacks out. Whenever he wakes up, the entire street is destroyed and more people are dead/unconscious. He grabs Daniel and they runaway, not wanting to get involved with the crime. It’s later found out that Daniel has powers (similar theme to LIS season 1) and can move objects with his mind.

More shit happens, yada yada yada.

NOW.

Episode 3 just released. In episode two, the brothers meet quite a few people. But most notably for this post, Cassidy and Finn. These two are regular friends (or maybe even “fuck buddies” as Finn and another girl described their relationship), who are a lot like Sean and Daniel. Cassidy left her old home life to live on the road. Finn, I can’t remember if he said anything or not. But I would think it would be for the same reason or something crime related.

Anyways, point is, they all group together and live in the woods. But, they all also work for this dude who runs a farm with nothing but pot.

Yep.

A nine year old and sixteen year old kid are working at a pot farm.

This leads to Finn, Cassidy, and Sean to get high, drunk, etc.

Finn get’s a hair up his ass and decides; “Hey, why don’t we steal all the cash from our boss? Who cares if he may know about Sean & Daniel’s backstory, has security footage evidence of them, and shotguns?!”

Cassidy is against this. But you, the player, have the option to accept or refuse his plan to rob the big dude with the cash.

And in the words of Chloe Price from season one; he’s got some “hella cash”

SORRY I HAD TOO.

But still, you can either rob from the guy or go against it. But HO HO HO! This choice doesn’t matter that much. Finn does it anyways (with a fUCKING NINE YEAR OLD HELPING HIM AND RISKING THAT KID’S LIFE) and Cassidy gets upset and worried. So, if you disagree with Cassidy, you end up meeting with them anyways so you can stop them. You get in trouble either way, btw.

But, let’s back it up.

If you agree to join Finn’s plan, he’s happy and you have the chance to romance him. Which, at first thought (including mine), was great! In the first season, Max was bisexual. You can flirt/romance with Chloe and/or Warren. With Sean romancing Cassidy and Finn, the developers made him bisexual.

But... it’s not all roses. Let me give you my first reaction. I do actually have it recorded.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGJ8lg5clHM

2:29:55 - 2:34:24

If you don’t watch it, basically I was excited and shocked. I didn’t like Finn at first but in that moment, I shipped them. I wanted Sean to be happy and happy enough to open up about his sexuality, if he hadn’t already.

But, I realized something.

Finn is most likely 20+. Sean is still 16. This means Finn is an older guy kissing a minor, which is of course, illegal. Not to mention that earlier in that episode, he was teaching Daniel to throw knifes and such. He smokes and drinks and admits his sexual relationships in front of a kid, too.

Speaking of his sexual relationships, it would be highly toxic if Sean and him dated/had casual sexual intercourse. Just based on Sean’s personality and how he had a crush on that Jen girl in the first episode, and how close him and Cassidy warmed up to each-other, he wears his heart on his sleeve. One thing this season has done WONDERFULLY is not distribute toxic masculinity. Sean and Daniel have both cried several times. Most men don’t like to talk/show their feelings because they feel weak and such, which is horrible. No guy should feel that way and should openly express them-self.

Sean does this, which is amazing. Yet, still can harm him.

Right after you agree to Finn’s plan, you can kiss him. Throughout the episode, he also flirts with Sean. Of course you have the CHOICE to kiss him... but it’s only after you accept his agreement. You can kiss Cassidy (and sleep with her) but she will storm off, angry, without kissing you, if you agree to Finn’s plan. Which is reasonable. Or, you can lie to her, saying you thought his plan was dumb, and she’ll kiss you. Both reasonable (in my opinion) responses to each situations.

But, how come you can’t kiss Finn regardless? Sean can say no and they could still talk about their feelings, leading to a kiss. Instead, they do nothing.

Finn is manipulative. He used Sean’s emotions to get to him. He probably noticed how close him and Cassidy were and how much love he has for Daniel, openly saying it every now and then, and wanting to protect him. Finn noticed how open Sean is and took advantage. 

Imagine if this wasn’t a choice base game and the story automatically follows Sean agreeing with Finn.

He flirts with him throughout the episode and is very charismatic. Since Daniel notices how close Sean and Cassidy are getting, he rants to Finn. Finn takes in this information and uses it against them. He becomes “cool” in Daniel’s eyes by being super chill, rebellious, and showing him how to violently protect himself/hurt others. In a sense, he becomes Daniel’s temporary older and “cooler” brother, making Daniel look up to him. With Finn’s flirting, he admits (once again, if your choices didn’t matter) that he has feelings for some guys.

Finn takes note of this.

The idea pops into his head to steal from the man who runs the pot farm... thing. I’m an innocent bean who hasn’t done anything harder than prescribed drugs for anxiety and stuff. So forgive me if I’m getting these terms wrong, LOL! But, the point still remains, he tells Daniel who is automatically on board. I doubt a 9 year old boy truly cares if they have enough money or not. I bet his main thought was “If I do this, then Finn will think I’m cool! He’ll treat me like an adult and so will others.”

In fact, I bet you that was his exact thoughts, just based on what he said to Sean and how he acted towards others.

If you really look at it, guys... it looks similar to a Mark Jefferson/Nathan Prescott relationship in season 1. I’m not going to go into many details for the people who haven’t played/watched season 1 yet, but I’ll give you guys a basic rundown by what I mean.

Nathan was mentally ill. He suffered from possibly multiple disorders and had an abusive father. His father wanted him to be the best of the best, not for his sake, but for the families sake. This got to Nathan and he hated his father. Mark Jefferson was a teacher who noticed this, befriending Nathan, and becoming a fatherly figure. The two teamed up to do sickening plans and crimes together which ended up getting them caught in the end.

Now, who does that sound like?

Daniel just lost his father and he’s angry. He probably has PTSD and anger management issues, based on how he’s acting and the situations he’s been through. Finn is an older figure and tricks Daniel to follow his plans and crime, as they’re stealing. They end up getting caught by the boss no matter what they, Sean, Cassidy, or the player does.

Sean is in the same boat, minus the anger issues. He probably suffers more from depression and PTSD (since he talks about the past a lot to others and how they know their story). Since he does talk about his feelings, Finn uses to his advantage.

When Sean agrees to the heist, Finn and him (can) kiss as an award. An award for falling into his trap and doing whatever he wanted.

Nathan got fatherly love and praise from Jefferson, resulting in him to continue their disgusting plans in order to feel loved.

Sean (and Daniel) and becoming the Nathan of this season.

We have to watch out who will be our jefferson.

I also have to address another elephant in the room.

We’re the reason this happened.

If you go through old DontNod/Life is Strange official posts (I suggest instagram or facebook, where i saw mine), I saw nothing but comments saying how much they want Chloe and Max back. I assume this is because of how you can romance Chloe. They want their love story/friendship to continue. Even though we did get a comic series based on them, it wasn’t good enough.

DontNod probably got sick of it and forced this to happen. While they were probably writing Cassidy as a love interest in the beginning, and Finn as probably just a random stranger or a brother of hers, the noticed all the hate and said “fuck it!”

As a result, we got the chance to kiss Finn... before you could write him off by injuring or killing him. Which, many people were pissed about.

But if you REALLY think about it, we were the cause of that. They probably didn’t want that, wanting to focus on Cassidy and the actual story. But many people wanted LGBTQ+ moments (which is understandable) but didn’t want Sean and Daniel’s story. Or they did get involved in their story but wanted a LGBTQ+ character.

The story of Life is Strange (both seasons + DLC) is nothing more but teens/young adults finding themselves through very difficult times. This with the responsibility of super powers, which are hurting those around them. It’s not meant to be a romance. It’s meant to be a drama, sci-fi, and angst story. (And thriller bc of Max’s nightmare bc that shit scared me)

While yes, I was happy and excited at first about Sean & Finn kissing. I was happy that there was potential for things to be “normal” and Sean to be happy, there was a lot of red flags. The age differences, the manipulation, the parallel's, and how forced it was.

Thanks for coming to my TEDTalk! Before you leave a hateful response, please know my opinion is valid like yours and others. Not only that, but I’m not the first to point some of this out. :)

[kkkkansas]

R.I.P K4nsas_

We can all agree by now that I've been far from a good person in life i think  ..... actually i know a lot of you know that whether you know me personally or not I've done a lot of wrong in my life since having paisley i use to share my life with the world and the more I’ve focused on myself this year the more things i was blinded to have opened my eyes to a lot of things.

Being a young mom i taught myself to have this alpha energy always feeling like the world was against me or worried about my every move i was so young trying to teach myself how to be a mom and survive without my parents they threw me to the wolfs when i needed them the most on top of never really having a mom i didnt know how to be one myself i always grew up bouncing school to school being expelled for fighting , because it was the only way i knew how to express any type of feeling i had. 

i don’t write this for a sob story but mainly because this last year has really been a roller coaster for me maturing and realizing my past trauma the things i lacked as a child the type of parent i dont want to be and realizing i have some toxic qualities myself whether its in the role of a mom or a friend. i really lack being a emotional support for anyone even my kids that alone was a big pill to swallow. Because i always live my life feeling like if you do something and i dont like it im either gonna over dominate your or cut you without explanation no matter how bad it hurt you because i didnt owe you a damn thing, i didn’t grow up in a house hold that had patience and healthy communication, i grew up with a mom that screamed and threw things at us put her hands on my siblings and believe it or not i was the child that would get screamed at for always wanting to lay up in my room and listen to music then to be around my mom my life was built around angry people (and i really believe thats why i strive to be the outgoing friend that doesn't care to dwell on negative life things). it is sad as fuck to even say these things about my own mom i would never want my kids to speak of me the way i speak of my mother and granted she was a single mom and tried to give us the world it is just the reality of my life that molded me into thinking that is OK to be angry and unable to express my feelings correctly on top of always wanting to over dominate anyone in my way. 

but as I’ve gotten older i grew tired of being angry and ugly. i found peace the second i stopped allowing people to talk down to me just to turn around and point a finger and cry when i returned the same energy, i taught myself to pick my battles with a lot of shit and its not easy i haven't perfected it but I’ve came a far way this past year, i wish i learned these things sooner then later. because i have rubbed people the wrong way with the lack of knowledge and the toxic environment i was raised in. there are things i did that hurt people that i don’t remember and that mind blow me when i hear them, i was so young so lost with so much hurt and anger i hid it threw the drinking and I’m to a point in my life that i have accepted every part of me that failed my image but it also made me who i am today.

so if you’ve gotten this far in this cringe of a blog i just want you to know if i ever crossed your path in life and some how left a toll so big that you remember me for my wrong i would like to apologize for any and everything i did to ruin our friendship because if we were ever friends chances are we had a great fucking time together there’s not a single person i wasn’t friends with and don’t look or think back to all the good times we had together. i am sorry that i was your spiral friend that was a young mom that didn’t know what the fuck i was doing in my life but i thank you for still riding that part of my life with me and bringing me joy in the darkest most confusing time in my life as a child. i hope as time goes on you can understand how hard it was for me as a kid to not notice all these unhealthy behaviors about myself and that the time i took apart from this world truly helped me to understand and fix these things about myself it wasn’t easy to face any of these truth’s but i am happier then i’ve ever been i am at peace and if you choose to keep me at a distance and still love me please know that i understand and I’ve always loved you from afar and wanted all you to win and to continue to win, it’s really amazing to be at this point in my life and to those who have stayed by me threw all my seasons i know it was a hell of a ride to finally get to this part of my life ill never be able to thank you enough for believing i would get to this chapter of me that i craved so badly . If anyone deserves to witness this new chapter of life with me it is you. 

And if you still want to choose to completely fucking hate me and hold my old imagine in-front of this person i worked so hard to become then you can completely 110% yes 110% do that too!  you choose what is worth holding anger and animosity towards in your life time and if you feel that my past is worth holding onto then by all means feel free.

But if i could have you take one thing from this would be to please teach your kids the things your parents didn’t whether you struggle with expressing yourself or trusting people and to never give up on your kids when they need you most just because they made a mistake in life no matter how big or small how angry or disappointed please always be open to understand your kids are only human and when they fail is when they need you to love them the most.

thanks for reading friends 

R.I.P that beeezy K4nsas_ 

[liv-andletdie]

16 18 21 25 27 31 Always like knowing more about your TP kids

There’s lots here! Prepare for an info dump :D 

16) Is Naive.

I’m gonna say, purely because of age, it’s Nutty. Out of all the cubs she’s the one who is the most naive but that’s purely because she’s so young. When she gets older she get’s less and less so, but then she has 6 people all shielding her from the worst of the worst so she never has to deal with the same stuff that Tina and Alexei have to deal with as top contenders for the throne. 

Out of the Extended family it’s Louis. He’s pretty much been born into privilage, his father was friends with The King (Zelda’s father) and as such he was close to both Augustus and Zelda. Though he’s never really had to work hard in his life and he was out of the country when the invasion hit so he wasn’t even really affected by that (other than his best friend dying and his other best friend being imprisoned)  

The rest is under the cut because OH BOY I RAMBLE 

18) Has very exaggerated facial expressions.

None of them really? Augustine is the most expressive (which is very funny to see when she’s with Pierre because he’s not) Link is quite expressive and that’s where she get’s it from but she’s not overly exaggerated. 

As for Extended fam it’s Cousin Silvia. Zelda may be Queen of Hyrule but Silvia is the Queen of Drama™ everything is 10000% bigger than it has to be with her. Every minor thing is either a tagedy or a miracle and as such she’s very ready to show that on her face. 

21) Is a nervous wreck.

Again with the cubs, none of them. From a young age they’ve all learnt to keep calm under pressure because being royalty is a lot more than just looking pretty in portraits and being rich. It’s a big business and it’s very hard. Even the slightest weakness can be manipulated and gossip is everywhere. So they’ve all been told something along the lines of “if you need to cry or vent then please do, just make sure it’s to someone that you trust who won’t try to use your very real emotions against you” Alexei tends to be the most “nervous” but only because he see’s his siblings doing dumb shit sometimes but he’s never a wreck with it

COUSIN SILVIA. She can make a mountain out of a molehill. Some gossip will go around saying that Marta or Julius aren’t Link’s Children and that Zelda had an affair and she’ll go into a blind panic over “What will people think!? What will people say?!” While Link and Zelda tend to go “Well we both know that there hasn’t been an affair and they have no proof so there’s no point in addressing it and drawing attention to it” Silvia is very VERY concerned with the family image. 

25) Is the comforting one. 

Alexei and Marta for the cubs. Alexei is very proud of his role as the eldest child and will go out of his way to comfort and look after his siblings, (He’s even comforted Zelda on occasion which she felt quite guilty about because “I’m meant to be the parent, not you! you should get to be a kid”) Marta tends to be very maternal despite not being the eldest daughter. She spends a lot of time with Julius and he’s quite sensitive so she’s very empathetic, and then that flows over into how she treats other people outside of the family. 

It’s Louis for the extended family. Although his comforting mainly just extends to Zelda (or “Little Annie” as he still calls her) because he see’s her as his little sister. So he’s very much like Alexei in the way that he cares deeply for his family and is almost always the first person to comfort them.

27) Loves children. 

Surprisingly not Alexei! It’s actually Augustine who loves kids. When she was younger she used to play with Julius, Nutty, and Marta all the time but as she get’s older other duties and lessons start to take up her time so she get’s to see them less and less. As such she cherishes each moment she gets to spend with her younger siblings and any children of the court who she meets at Balls and Soirees. Playing with the younger kids reminds her of when she used to play with her siblings and she just really loves seeing them happy. 

Pierre loves kids as well. He doesn’t have any siblings so he used to play with Alexei and Tina growing up because he’s so close to both of them in age. And then later he would play with Marta, Julius, and Natalya. Augustine manages to drag him into playing with the children at parties and he thoroughly enjoys it even if they like to steal his glasses and try them on.

31) Knows every song ever. 

NATALYA! She’s such a music nerd so every song and lullaby she hears she’ll learn it over and over till she can sing it and play it on three different instruments. It’s her passion and she loves it, it makes her happy and it makes the people around her smile (which makes her even happier) Nutty just loves learning songs like I can’t express how much it means to her! 

as for extended family it’s Louis but really only because he’s got the free time to sit and let Nutty teach him every song ever written or performed or hummed. It’s a great bonding thing for them (and Louis does try to bond with all of his “nieces and nephews” but Nutty takes up most of his time with “Uncle Louis listen to this new song I heard! The Court Poet taught me! It’s about Maman and Pa!”)

Thanks for all your questions 

[firefliiedarch]

✧ ; personality & alignment

i really do suppose that i should talk about her alignment given that i thought about certain situations that made me realise that she is a very morally grey person . there is a reason for this .   most of it is how she sees herself as a person ,   but some of it is how she really came to be as a person  -  her experiences .

SOME HISTORY.

before we can talk about ammy's alignment , i think there should be an understanding on who she was / is as a person .   mainly because this is a girl that has had to go through a lot in her life .   but i should point out that she wasnt always a jaded girl .

i will ATTMEPT to keep this short ,   but i really cannot talk about her without talking about her past so its a bit hard to like not go into it .   so i apologise that this is so very long .

evayne had a voice at one point .   a relatively beautiful voice too .   also a bit hypnotic .   not so much to like put people to sleep but it definitely was something that turned heads .   it was soft & smooth .   but there was a sort of melancholy that MADE people feel her emotions .   in a sense , she had a way with her words to make people feel in ways they couldnt .   this was neither good nor bad .   it just .  .  .   was .   though she never really truly purposely wanted others to feel how she felt ,   it was her means to express her feelings .   and normally through song .   so this led her to have quite the interested ‘fanbase’ of those who wanted her to perform & sing .

the problem with this is that she wasnt really having any desire to be a performer .   she was an orphan and she was homeless , but she didnt seek out to performing in the streets .   even as a kid , she was very shy & nervous .   along with her partially frail health as a kid ,   she didn’t really have the means to be one .   so she really avoided the public streets as best as she could .   she wanted to do good .   despite what had happened with her family ,   she just wanted to be a good person .   she did eventually find sanctuary in a church ( as well as some libraries both inside & outside of the church as well ) .

while she was seemingly accepted in the church ,   she felt nervous being in them .   a feeling she really wouldn’t understand much about until later .   not only that but there was a bit of pressure to have her join the choirs since other tasks proved to be relatively difficult for her & many of the members believed she would do well singing hymns .   so atop of like being nervous with the church ,   she also felt that pressure of responsibility to return their generosity at times .   while im sure they meant well ,   & didn’t really want her to feel forced ,   she still knew even as a kid that there were things that she would disagree .

she did begin to delve a little into magic and sorcery ,   as she noticed that she had a knack for magic so she though she would try to practice and master it .   it helped that it kind of brought her out of he nervous bubble because she really did genuinely have a skill for it .   wich the church noticed but soon eventually seemed to like ....   be somewhat controlling of what she could or could not do .

keep in mind that her magic was empowered by her lineage  -  which the church SEEMED to know about but still kept that knowledge from her .   knowledge that she would find out about OUTSIDE of the church .   though the church was the one that did help her find her familiar & helped her out because while she couldn’t really be in the church often anymore ,   they still gave her a place to stay and a small allowance .

her feelings turned out to not just be insecurities as she got older because she began to find out more of her own heritage .   she then really genuinely didnt feel at all comfortable staying with the church ,   especially when she also began to look deeper into historical archives that werent really with the church but found outside of it ( basically forbidden texts ) .

she had also had met her ‘master’ this way as well .   or rather ,   it was her master that had found her .   yes he was a necromancer .   & did he have ulterior motives with evayne ?   of course .   he knew who she was  -  rather ...   what she was .   & found her to be the perfect subject for what he wanted .   so yea ,   he may or may not have messed with a few things .   one of them being that he managed to convince the church through an anonymous tip that evayne was practicing dark magic & was planning the demise of the church .

this isn’t to say that she was ‘intrigued’ by dark or evil magic & wanted to fully turn to just using dark magic ,   but she simply just wanted a better and more just way of seeing the bigger picture  -  something that the church wouldn’t give to her that she believed she needed to know .   because otherwise ,   she would not be able to understand her own heritage .   which happened to have dark historic roots in them .

needless to say ,   some people were not relatively happy about it .   partially because well .   she WAS looking into the darker side of things .   originally they were going to have to sentenced to death ,   but due to her voice being able to make others feel empathy ,   she managed to slip out of that .   i will not go into detail ,   but she really did get scared about it .   enough to the point where she began to have doubt about who really gave the truth and what really was good or bad .   but it wasn’t enough to like ....   fully convince her to go to her master just yet .   he needed to do a little more pushing .

it was when he figured out a way to have evayne lose her voice that he did manage to get her broken at her lowest & reshape her .   no ,   he wasn’t the one to take her voice away ,   but he was a primary reason for why she lost her voice  -  something she kind of knows about to an extent though doesn’t blame him for her lost voice .   because in reality ,   he didn’t take it ,   somebody else did .

i know this is getting long & i am getting a wee bit tired so uh ...   im gonna try to make this quick .   

her master while extremely evil .   did have some good in him .   he did treat evayne like a daughter .   albeit he mentally and emotionally abused her & broke down her soul ,   he was manipulative ,   he still managed to teach her how to use magic without her voice .   he helped her relearn skills ,   & he did tell her about her heritage .   though he kept saying phrases like ‘ you don’t want people to think you’re a monster do you ? ’ & ‘ don’t you want to get back at those who took your voice ? ’ to really get at her .   she was emotionally compromised but there was also the threat that he would take her familiar away forever if she didn’t listen .

look .   i am not saying her master was a good guy .   he isn’t .   his alignment was EVIL .   obviously ,   but he genuinely did have a problem with anybody hurting her .   ( granted was he going to kill her anyway ?   yes ,   that was his initial plan .   but he was also very fond of her & extremely interested of what she could do so he wanted her on his side )   he did give her a home .   he never physically hurt her .   he taught her things that she will be forever grateful for ,   but he doesn’t own her & it took FOREVER for her to break away from him .   it really did hurt her though because she never felt more alone after doing so ,   but she knew she had to .

PERSONALITY.

NOTE :   this is just a run down of her and who she is as a person .

so as a kid :   evayne wasn’t so much bubbly .   like she never was ,   but she was a bit more ...   open to others ?   she was shy & soft ,   yes .   easily spooked but was really a good child .   she really just wanted to be a good girl to anybody as well as just be helpful to those around her .   weak & sick ,   yes ,   it took some time for her to like get used to it too .   she was always apologising too which kind of stuck with her .

as a teenager / young adult ( times right before & while she was with her master ) :   very quiet .   nervous / anxious .   a little paranoid .   though she was still very curious .  she was still open to learning new things .   did get a little frustrated too quickly with things that clearly irked her .   didn’t really have the best poker face though it was already beginning to get there .   at this point she still genuinely valued life but she also valued truth as well .   did get a little upset when things didn’t go her way or when shit hit the fan .   

now :   so her paranoia honestly worsened .   she was absolutely broken .   definitely suffers from ptsd but shes a little better ?   maybe ?   she’s also developed a mood disorder though it’s not extremely severe at times  -  though she does have moments where it is pretty bad .   she does genuinely think that most people have ulterior motives so she always has that ‘what do you want’ look to her face .   she still doesnt have the patience for some things but she has better patience for it .   definitely a lot more careful .   extremely observant .   she is still extremely curious !!!   she still can be very kind .   actually she still is very soft & tender ,   especially to those she admires & adores .

other things to note :   evayne is genuine & does consider before like ...   acting out of her decisions .   she does treat people with at least the common decency though you have to earn her respect .   you approach her then its on her terms ,   if she approaches you ,   however ,   that is a different story .   ammy is a very respectful person and doesn’t see others in what they are but rather who they are as people & what they do to her .   it’s basically like this :   people say you are a good person ,   but until you can prove to me that you are a good person ,   i will not give you special treatment .   she considers & looks at kings & queens as though they are commoners & vice versa .   not to say that she will go right to a king or a queen & treat them as such ,   but everybody is held to the same standard .   nobody is above or below another .

& yes ,   she would look at a ‘monster’ and see that she sees no monster ,   just somebody different . 

please also know that most people she will find annoying .   anybody she meets ,   she doesn’t really like ,   that’s just who she is .   though if she takes an interest in you ,   she will pay attention to you .   she is absolutely a tsundere at first .   but she does mean well .

just get to know her & she will go from ....   tolerating your presence at best to loving you .  

she’s basically .....   a cat .   yep .   definitely a cat .  

oh also ,   because i think i may have forgotten to say this but uh ....    nobody hates evayne as much as she hates herself .   when i say her master broke her .   i really mean that her master broke her .   try to mind read her and you will want to get out as soo as possible cause there i almost nothing but nightmares in there .   this is why she has a hard time sleeping at night .   because while she treats the world and everybody around her as equal ,   she thinks nothing but bad about herself .   oh and yes ,   she does have moments where she considers if maybe she should just let herself go & completely annihilate everybody .   she has reasons to .

so the next time she says ,   it’s okay ....   know that it PROBABLY isn’t okay .

ALIGNMENT.

she doesn’t look at the world in black or white / black & white .   everything for her is grey .   sure ,   there are extremes of good & evil ,   but good is not always right & evil is not always wrong .   yes ,   she can see that there are wrongs in the world .   she ,   herself ,   has been wronged .   but she does not blame anybody for it .   it is what it is for her .   there is no use in crying about it .   it will never get her anywhere .   she knows this .   naturally she would probably be a true neutral in most cases but with a slightly lawful alignment .   though there are some instances where she would lean either lawful or evil depending on the situation ?   maybe ?   given her history & background ,   she really normally just looks out for herself ,   though she does kind of seem to be a bit of a cherisher of life  -  but will kill if necessary .   there are some ,   however ,   that she would not be able to kill which causes her to have a rift in her own morality .    

in all honesty ,   she just wants to be left alone with her books .   but there does come times where she would do anything for those she cares about .   like i said ,   she has a fondness for life .   & maybe call her what you want but she does tend to have a desire to want friends & keep them close .   she would do anything for them to a certain extent .

[essekknits]

Trans* Yuri On Ice headcanons

Yuri Plisetsky is a trans boy. He doesn't have much chest dysphoria (he had a relatively flat chest to begin with, and he worked out pretty hard to make sure it was almost invisible), but being called gendered terms (like prima ballerina, or JJ's "ladies first" comment) makes him very angry and anxious. But mainly angry, cause that's how he handles dysphoria. He uses anger to express masculinity at first, cause that's what he knows, but slowly he learns to open up and express other emotions as well. He used to cut his hair short cause people gave him shit about how he isn't "trans enough" if he didn't have masculine hair, but then he saw Victor rocking that long hair and sort of thought "fuck it". He loves his hair long, so he's gonna have it long. His grandpa and Yakov are the first people who know he's trans. Grandpa smiled and asked him if he wants a different name (which he really REALLY wanted), and Yakov looked down at this little kid and told him not to expect any special treatment. That's one of the best days in Yuri's life. The Russian team + Yuuri + Otabek formed a Yuri protection squad and they go after people who give Yuri shit for being trans.

Katsuki Yuuri is genderfluid. He only understands it in his twenties, but he looks back at stuff and gets that "ohhh, so THAT'S why..." feeling sometimes. He starts exploring his gender, and at first he's very uncomfortable and anxious, but he calms down slowly. Victor helps him relax a little and experiment before Yuuri realises who he is and how he feels about his gender. He usually doesn't get much dysphoria (his more dominant gender is man, and he's AMAB), but on some days, when Yuuri feels particularly feminine, anxiety can be sort of crashing. On these days everyone make extra sure they point out her femininity, and it doesn't make the dysphoria leave completely but it helps a little with the anxiety and puts a smile on her face. Even Yuri is acting nicer (though not uncharacteristically so) cause he knows dysphoria is shit and wouldn't make anyone's dysphoria worse on purpose. The first person he ever comes out to is his sister.

Speaking of her, Mari is a trans woman. She only realises she's trans in her twenties. Her parents are very supportive, and so is Yuuri. Her earings and the bleached hair are her way to take control of her body and ease dysphoria. She used to have pretty bad dysphoria and she kinda hated being in the hot springs, but after the hormones and the surgery she feels much more comfortable and even soaks in there sometimes. At first she's really afraid that her best friend (and later her girlfriend) would hate her and wouldn't want to be her friend, but Minako just hugged her and said she saw some nice dresses in the store that would fit her perfectly. She also teaches her how to do her makeup and how to "move more femininely" (Mari is the one who asked her to, so when Yuuri comes to her place in the middle of the night and asks her the same thing a few years later, it almost makes her smile). At first she makes a point out of being hyper-feminine, with makeup and tight clothes and the "girlies" interests and movements. But after a while she understands it's just... not for her. She finds the right path for her. Now you can find her with no makeup, chilling in loose clothes and enjoying her life.

Intersex non binary Phichit Chulanont doesn't give a fuck about your gender norms. He just doesn't. He's gonna rock that cute skirt. His winged eyeliner is so sharp it can cut a man. Both his twin sister and him are intersex. Their parents didn't allow the doctors to mutilate their genitalia, saying they just want their children happy and unharmed. They were both raised as boys but it was very clear from a young age that his sister was a girl so from the moment she told them that she's a girl, that's how she was treated. She started transitioning as soon as she was legally allowed to. When Yuuri came out to him, Phichit was really supportive and encouraging. Since they met Phichit was pretty sure that guy wasn't cis, but if Yuuri didn't want to talk about it, Phichit would never out his best friend against his will. Phichit himself came out as non binary pretty early in life, around the age of eleven. His parents were used to weird shit with their children, so they thought "well, that's our child", shrugged and hugged him.

Genderqueer Victor Nikiforov finds gender sort of confusing. I mean, why focus so much on gender when you can ice skate and listen to good music and have fun with dogs? He used to get very confused when people told him that he looks like a girl in his younger years, cause "what do you mean I look like a girl, I look like Victor". People who meant to insult him by calling him a girl just ended up confusing him. He doesn't mind being referred to in he/him pronouns, it sits a bit better than she/her, and they/them from people who are close to him makes him a bit uncomfortable cause in Russian using plural for a single person (basically what happened to the pronoun "you") is a sign of formality and respect and it just sounds weird and unattached coming from people he is very close to. He usually doesn't feel dysphoria, but when he does it makes him do one of two things: be as extravagantly and flamboyantly him as he can be, or shut down completely and curl into himself cause why do people keep throwing gender at him he doesn't want it and it's kinda overwhelming. There isn't much to do about the first one, and it doesn't hurt him so Yuuri is less worried about it, but still keeps an eye to see if he needs a break or to talk about it or anything. When the second option happens, Yuuri sits with him and talks to him. He tells him how brilliant and amazing he is, and how much Yuuri admires him for being as true to himself as he is. It doesn't stop the dysphoria, but it put a small smile on his face and helped him get up.

[ukulelewrites]

Wanna One Fuckbois

A/N: the @smols-n-tols groupchat is honestly such a great place for dumping ideas and crying over them bc it’s too painful to think about the perfection that is wanna one also some of these lowkey have plot bc those are the more well-thought out ones

warning: mentions of the twiddly twonk, the horizontal tango, the sexy times

Jisung:

liSTEN

he tries really hard to be a fuckboi™

like he wears the right clothing, licks his lips at appropriate time, even has a hoard of girls that follow him around school

but he really can’t do it

he’s just too soft to reject anyone?

and you teased the hell out of him during his “fuckboi phase”

he’d rather deal with taxes and stability than see someone cry bc of him

“i can’t keep up with these kids” he says as he sips his tea, watching the rest of wanna one fuck around like the fuckbois they are

you, who’s sitting across from him, nod along, stealing a sip of his tea after he sets it down

Sungwoon

he’s the jock™

he’s the goalkeeper and he’s the type to wear his letterman jacket like 24/7

he does it mainly out of pride for being on the varsity soccer team, but it’s also due to the fact girls legit swoon over him in his jacket

the type to go after cheerleaders, it’s something about short skirts and pom-poms lmao

tbh probably got with everyone on the cheer squad + the young coach

anyways, you’re the student body president and you dress like a president

slacks, dress shirt/blouse, etc.

except one day you wore a pencil skirt to school, and now you can’t get sungwoon to leave you alone

Minhyun

ice prince™

he’s really closed off, and girls find that really attractive 

anyways, he pretends to open up to them, tricking them into thinking he likes them so much he’d open up to them

and he doesn’t sleep with them or anything, just lots of building of false hope

it’ll last a week before he moves onto a new target, but no one tells each other because the stuff he tells the girls are super sensitive and they don’t want to expose him in anyway

joke’s on them, all of his “emotional turmoil and trauma” comes from Jonghyun’s mangas

anyways, his next target is you and right as he approaches you, you legit just “bye, felicia” and walk away

he’s intrigued by you now as he watches your retreating back

Seongwoo

so he’s like the perfect example of fuckboi™

flaunts his hickeys and scratch marks on his back

and his bff is you, the school’s resident hoe™

you two compare hickey marks, rank your partners against each other, just typical fuckboi x hoe conversations 

anyways, one night over a couple beers you complain about your last partner and how terrible they were

and seongwoo just smirks at you and says “ofc, it’s cuz they’re nothing like me”

“you’re full of shit, ong”

“really? try me?”

and tbh y’all are drunk, shit happens

which involve you naked in his bed the next morning oOPS

Jaehwan

music fuckboi™

frontman of the school’s resident rock band 

the band’s actually pretty famous and they have the groupies to prove it

jaehwan having the most groupies out of the members since his voice will legit send you to hong kong

anyways, you’re not a groupie, more like a ticket person for one of the venues they play at

and jaehwan tries to flirt with you, “i’m actually the lead singer”

“oh really? i like bassists the best” you don’t even look up from the cashbox

yeah, he’s pretty much accepted the challenge to show you that even though bassists do it deeper, singers do it louder

Daniel

he’s just the brooding ripped fuckboi™

the type to be helping sungwoon with soccer practice before spontaneously taking off his shirt

probably has a tattoo or two

girls scream, boys faint, everyone in between die

you: “huh, it’s like -12 degrees. why is his shirt off?”

he messes around bc he’s honestly just bored with life 

like he doesn’t really want to do anything so might as well fuck people

you actually sleep with him one time, but you wake up before he does and leaves

and when he wakes up he’s so confused bc ????

he leaves people??? it doesn’t work the other way around??

so he keeps on sleeping with you until he can wake up before you

spoiler: he never does

Jihoon

soft fuckboi™

these are honestly the woRST

bc you think they’re nice and sweet but no, he’s just leading them on

he follows a point system: cheerleader = 15 pts, nerd = 2 pts, etc.

he accumulates like 200+ pts per month

and no one hates him bc he’s still nice to them afterwards???

the only person who hates him is you

you found his points journal in the hallway once and never looked at him the same

but you’ve never told anyone since no one would believe sweet jihoon with the tragic past would do something like that

so you’ve kept quiet

however, unknowingly to you, you’re worth 200 pts in his book, so you have no clue why he’s suddenly walking you to class and helping you with homework, and jihoon’s deadset on winning his 200 pts

Woojin

not neccessarily a fuckboi™, more like a prankster

he’s the type to make fun of people over everything

also pulls a bunch of pranks 

and tbh some people find that attractive

“i love guys with a sense of humor”

you: “sweetie, he legit vandalized your locker,,,,”

them: “i love guys with a sense of humor”

anyways, woojin has a habit of teasing you a l o t

like, you got a haircut, well there’s something obviously wrong with it

new shirt? hideous 

tried out for the talent show? absolutely terrible

however, he only does this bc there’s something in his head telling him that there’s something about you,,,,and he doesn’t know how to express it unless it’s through mercilessly teasing you 

you tbh don���t put up with any of his bullshit, he gets a bruise everytime

Jinyoung

the quiet fuckboi™

not really like minhyun in the sense he doesn’t really talk to the people that chase after him

he kinda just let them do stuff for him

math homework? siyeon from third block’s doing it for him

history paper? somi from fourth block’s got it

you never understood the hype until you find him making out with the girls behind the gym on different occasions 

so when the two of you get partnered for a science project, you make it adamantly clear the two of you are never approaching the gym

jinyoung just smirks in his seat and observes you, planning his next move

Daehwi

tryhard fuckboi™

the type to kiss up to the teacher every time they ask a question

and everyone in your class swoons over him bc wOW he’s so smart

you just roll your eyes from your second class rank position

anyways, daewhi has a habit of flirting with people who he finds useful for him

the music project? flirted with mina until she agreed to work with him on it

he dropped her after he got the A+

i guess kinda like jinyoung except he gets people to help him with stuff while jinyoung just happens to have people that want to help him

so while in math class one day the teacher announced that there was going to be a project due in a month

and for that week daehwi wouldn’t leave you alone

Guanlin

foreign exchange fuckboi™

“hey, i’m from taiwan”

them: “forEIGNER? HOLA?”

you: “,,,,,,,,,,,”

anyways, he’s the type to play innocent

“what is a, what do you call it in your language? a hickey?”

you know the noonas/hyungs are about to teach this boy exactly what a hickey is

and tbh it works bc if anyone tries to call him out he pulls the foreigner card

“i don’t know how this works in your country!”

and you actually are fluent in deciphering bullshit so you see through everything

plus you’re his host, so you talk to him normally all the time

however, it does get kind of weird when he has weird lapses of memory at home and has to ask you, once again, what french kissing was

i am trash,,,,,,,,,,,,,tbh a lot of these ideas came from some of the smols n tols admins especially admin dandan the catman, daehwi, jinyoung, and woojin. ily <3

[campcamp-theories]

Camp Is Out - Camp Draws to a Close

Chapter 1

 When David announced Parents Day, Max could only scoff at the idea. His parents were living their shitty lives, faces stuck in their shitty computers, not giving a shit if he existed or not. They were workaholics to the extreme.

 His parents were both lawyers who spent more time dealing with clients, filing documents or organizing office space to even have time to care for him. For as long as he could remember, he had to take care of himself. That included cooking, cleaning, overall hygiene; hell even studying he would do in his off time and he sure had a lot of that. The most his parents had ever done was register him for schooling… that and give him Mr. Honeynuts on his 7th birthday. At the time he had complained he was too old for the teddy bear, but it later became his only sense of comfort and security. As for school, he was lucky the bus stop was just down the street from his place because for a preschooler to be out walking alone was dangerous, not that he would know anything about that being a kid and all. It’s not like he’d been nearly kidnapped a time or two and it’s not like his parents would care either, except maybe to avoid a lawsuit or some shit.

“Well you losers enjoy your family bonding because there’s no way my folks are coming. Guess I get to kick back and relax. Maybe I’ll just order a pizza…” Max withdrew David’s phone from his hoodie, a gadget he’d secured from his counselor on multiple occasions. The idiot never even noticed most of the time, being too caught up in trying to teach all the campers to appreciate nature and whatever the fuck else crossed the dipshits head.    

 He could see the beginnings of recognition cross David’s thoughts before he was interjected by the founder of the camp, Cameron Campbell making an untimely appearance, like always.

 Max could care less as he tried picking up a signal to browse the web. When Cameron started wildly thrashing David around, he looked up with interest, and smirked behind the screen to hide his amusement. That enjoyment was short lived as the bus carrying the parents pulled up. His expression drooped into a deep frown as the riders exited the vehicle and were escorted inside the mess hall. He lagged behind a bit, watching the children find their respective families. Taking a seat at the table, he observed from the side lines, finding things about each campers parent to pick apart for his own personal satisfaction.

 It didn’t take long for questions to arise as parents started to take notice to something not quite right with the other children and the camp as a whole. Eventually voices were raising with question after question, with which the founder tried calming the visitors down by trying to explain that they hadn’t been tricked or swindled. He declared the camp provided all activities that their children had been signed up for.

‘Oh this will be good…’ Max pocketed the phone to see how things played out. Perhaps today wouldn’t be all bad.  

“Everyone outside! It’s time to show off Camp Campbell camptivities.” Everyone gathered towards the back door, piling out to explore more of the camp.

“Have fuuuun…” Sitting back on the bench, Max folded his arms behind his head with a smug smirk.

“Oooh no you don’t!” Cameron snagged the back of Max’s hoodie, much to his disdain and dropped him off at David’s feet. “This Parent’s Day needs to go off without a hitch and that means good times and happy families!” To follow up his comment, he shoved Gwen back into David and Max.

“WHAT!?” Max shrieked in disbelief.

“Until this one’s actual parents get here, you three are going to be the perfect nuclear family. GOT IT!” With a pointed jab at them, to further get his point across, he stormed away to try and save his image before it was damaged beyond repair.

 Max could already feel dread weighing down on him. A slight vibration from behind drew his attention only to look up to find David practically vibrating in place. Before he had time to question or act, he was scooped up into a tight hug. “We are going to have so much fun, family!” Max grit his teeth together, thoughts raging with malice.

 David carried him over to the door before setting him down on the ground in a hurry to follow his idol. As soon as his feet touched down, he hastily backed away from David and watched him with murderous eyes.

“Why did I have to go along with David’s idea…” Gwen muttered after him.

 Stuffing his hands into his hoodie pocket, Max gave a huff of indignation. Today was going to be a looooong day.

 As he followed along behind David and Mr. Campbell, he kept his mask of indifference in check, trying to ignore the sting of jealously that tried to rear its ugly head as each child showed off their camp camp activities with their parents.

 He was only half paying attention to what was being said as his eyes roamed the crowd. Eventually his interest landed on Space Kid who was alone at the moment. Perfect. Someone he could take out his frustration on. Slipping away from his “family,” he walked over nonchalantly, feigning interest.

“So what are you up to?” His eyes scoured the contents strewn about the ground around the cardboard rocket ship, finding a box of matches and a few sticks of firecrackers. Squatting down, he picked up the firecrackers and box while Space Kid answered his question.

“Oh howdy do Max! I am working on finishing my rocket ship.”

 He hummed in reply while he inserted three firecrackers inside the front cone adorning the cheaply made replica.

“So Space Kid, can’t help but notice I haven’t seen any grownups walking around with fish bowls on their heads.” Pulling out a match, he swiped it along the side of the box, trying to ignite the sticks as he talked.

“Oh my parents couldn’t make it.”

“Oh really…. That sucks.” He looked down at his fellow camper, feeling a twinge of familiarity.

“Yea… but my uncle came instead. He’s the coolest guy in the galaxy.”

“Oh. Really.” Happy moment gone.

“Yep! Say, could you hand me that Hydraulic monkey wrench.” Ignoring the question, Max threw the match box away and kicked the peg out from under the rocket ship, causing the contraption to fall on top of Space Kid with little regard for his wellbeing.

 For a moment he felt like he had someone he could connect with, but that was just a fluke and it ruined his mood for sabotaging their project. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he walked away with his head bowed only to knock into David’s knees. Stumbling backwards, he glanced up to see a very unhappy David and Gwen. Just great…

 He heard David ranting about how he and Gwen were disappointed in him, even going so far as to call themselves his parents. Max just rolled his eyes, not entirely listening and looked over at Gwen.

“Okay, you are definitely taking this dumb parenting role to seriously. Am I right Gwen?” He looked up at the other counselor, expecting her to take his side of the argument but instead she folded her arms and agreed with David.

“Nah, for real Max, look at what you did to Space Kid.” Max glanced over just in time to see Space Kid’s uncle hurry over and lift the rocket off his grandkid.

 Gwen and David gawked as realization dawned on them. “Buzz Aldrin!?” They blurted out in synch. Max followed after them as they went up to greet the X-astronaut. It was entertaining watching the pair struggle with the fact that they were meeting the real Buzz Aldrin after having just sent fake footage of Space Kid, otherwise known as Neil now, walking on the moon to his family. A satisfied sneer spread across Max’s face as he watched the man chew the pair out. Gwen tried salvaging the situation by fumbling some half assed excuse.

“You’re lucky I’d never hit a woman. There’s no greater crime than faking a moon landing.” The man grumbled out in his lecturing tone.

“David helped too!” Max pointed at David for emphasis, “Max!” David put his hands on his hips with a disappointed frown before he was personally introduced to Aldrin’s fist.

“Thanks for speaking up son.”

 Max blinked a couple times in surprise before a shit eating grin spread across his face. “It’s an honor sir.” He mock saluted the astronaut, feeling a strong sense of satisfaction.

…….

 The remainder of the day followed relatively similarly. He’d cause trouble to fill the languid times, get lectured and start over again. When night time rolled around, the camp gathered together to put on a stage play of sorts to give the children a chance to display everything they’d learned or were practicing at the camp.

 Meanwhile, David was trying to coax Max into performing together. His idol was counting on him to put on a good show and he would do anything to meet his expectations. When he tried asking Max about his enrollment, he dodged the bullet by drawing the counselors’ attention to the other campers. He watched each play with desperation, hoping one of the other kids would fuck things up for him, but to his dismay and horror, things were progressing smoothing.

 Gwen went off to find his paper work, while Max grabbed fists full of his hair, tugging on the roots painfully as his anxiety rose. He didn’t want to be here… he didn’t want to be here… HE DIDN’T WANT TO BE HERE! Max took deep breaths with his fists clenching and unclenching. David’s normal optimistic behavior was usually just annoying but this time it was downright driving him hysterical. David was being really insensitive, not that he was aware. Max made sure he let nothing slip about his family or interests for the entire length of the camp. He had his reasons for keeping to himself; mainly because it was easier to bury his problems then face them head on and get swallowed up in emotion.

 By the time Gwen returned, David was stretched thin with distress. His counselor was counting on him, Max was being uncooperative and he had no idea what they could present to the other families. When Gwen announced she found Max’s papers, he sighed in relief and hastily walked over. “Great, then we can do this!”

“I don’t want to do this!” Max threw his hands up into the air exasperated. What part did they not understand?

“Max, that is IT!” David stepped over towards Max with full on aggressive, finally snapping under all the stress. “I am feed up with your bad attitude! Why do you always have to bring everyone else down instead of trying just a little bit to have fun?”

 Gwen hastily interjected, holding the files up for David to see. “David…” She started but was cut off as he snagged the folders from her and held it up in front of him. “Now let us all put on a happy face, go out there and show everyone just how great you are at…” he trailed off when his eyes finally took in the documents inside the folder. They were…. practically blank. The only things written were Max’s name and age.  

“I told you, they didn’t care.” He could feel the beginnings of moisture gathering, so he tried smoldering the feeling with bitterness, but when David’s shocked expression came into view through his peripheral, the flood gates cracked a bit, brimming his eyes with tears.

“Just make something up so that we can get this over with.” He hastily brushed off the tears using his shoulder and walked away with slumped shoulders. He couldn’t stand the looks of pity the counselors were shooting him. This was exactly why he didn’t want them to know anything. Finding a spot in a shaded corner, he sat down, drew his knees up to his chest and hugged them tightly to his body. Don’t think about it. He tried blocking it out, but it was already too late and more tears welled up in his sockets. Sniffling, he ducked his head down, trying to hide the fact that he was crying. For a moment, he was granted privacy to work through his emotions and by the time David tentatively walked over, he’d calmed down enough to stand up and dust off, acting like his breakdown never happened.

“Well lets….”

“Let’s get out of here.” David cut Max off, catching him off guard. Brow furrowing in confusion, Max looked up confused. “What?” Gwen and David shared a look before nodding their head towards the exit and started to walk out. He stared after them dumbfounded until Gwen paused to call after him.

“You coming?” Shaking off his stupor, he hurried after them confused. Wordlessly, they lead him to the Camp Campbell employee car and they all shuffled inside. Under normal circumstances, this would be very incriminating but he was so far out of his element that he just went along with it. Staring out of the window, he watched the trees blur past until they pulled off the dirt trail onto the highway leading towards town. His nerves went on high alert wanting to ask but fretting the answer until the car came to a halt. Shifting in his seat, he glanced outside to see neon lights that read Sleepy Peak Pizza Bros.

 The silence persisted as Gwen took the lead up to the store front. David followed shortly after, with Max at their heels, staring on with even more burning questions.

 While David and Max took a seat at a booth, Gwen went up to the counter to order. The pair sat across from each other and he fidgeted nervously when the two counselors shared another knowing look. Unable to take it anymore, Max broke the silence, “why are we hear? What about Campbell’s big show?”

“It’s stupid.” The uncharacteric dismissal of a camp activity, from David no less made Max reel back in his seat. “What?”

“You were right. It’s stupid. You shouldn’t have to pretend for anyone.”

“Are you… okay?” The question was full of his consternation as he placed his hands on the table in front of him.

“I’m… sorry… Max…” David rested his head on his hand, looking out the window with a pang of sadness.

“I tried to always see the good in things, and I tried to get others to see the same but…” Max gapped openly. Was this really David? “Pretending things are okay when they’re not doesn’t help anything.” Clicking his jaw shut, he swallowed thickly. “I’m sorry your parents don’t care enough Max. You have every right to be angry. But you deserve to be happy. And I hope you can find that here at camp. Even if it’s not today.”

 For the first time ever, Max felt understood. It was foreign and unusual, which left him speechless on how to respond.

 Thankfully he didn’t have to. Gwen returned with pizza in hand. “Life sucks sometimes, but at least there’s pizza.”

 He silently watched her settle down until she noticed he was only staring. “Well don’t just look at it, eat up you little shit.” The warmth in her words brought a soft smile to his face. Without having to be told twice, he filled a plate. Shortly after, the two counselors followed suit.

 The day had started out shitty, from the random arrival of the parents, to having to deal with David’s obnoxious cheeriness, watching families have what he could never and then having his emotions on edge all day, but by the end of the evening, he couldn’t be happier. He was starting to think maybe, just maybe… David wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, and perhaps… he wasn’t all that bad….

“I’ll go make sure the car starts.” Gwen flipped up the car keys, snatched them out of the air and walked away, leaving David and Max alone on the sidewalk. Kicking at the ground in thought, Max looked up at David nervously.

“David…”

“Mhm…” His counselor stared back down to meet his stare, only to be greeted by a surprise hug around the legs. The small arms curled around him quickly, releasing just as quickly and hastily retreating, but that short moment brought a warmth through David’s chest. For the first time, he’d reached a chord with Max and that was something he would forever hold dear.  

“That never happened!” Max demanded, jabbing his finger David’s way with a strained tone.

“Okay Max.” David smiled down fondly. He would respect his camper’s wishes, especially if it meant he could finally start breaking through that thick ice the kid had trapped himself inside.

 Max’s eye twitched at the casual consent his counselor provided. “Seriously, I will murder you if this gets back to the gang!”

 Before he could receive any more confirmation, Gwen pulled up with the car. “Do you think everything went okay back at the camp?”

“Oh I’m sure it’s nothing Mr. Campbell couldn’t handle.” David responded confidently.

Chapter 2