#mah urt

[zharizard666]

mwa mwa mwa

[thatbigbisexual29]

It’s Only Funny When I Do It (ATSV)

Hello friends! I have written again! This one was surprisingly hard for some reason?? I had a certain line I wanted to use (credit to @giggly-squiggily​ thanks bestie!) but I had no idea how to write to that point. I think I erased and rewrote... 12 times?? But, I finally figured it out! I hope you all enjoy this one as much as the last! Also I know it isn’t a lot compared to other fics, BUT ITS OVER 100 NOTES NOW THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!! I can’t believe so many people liked my silly fic, it makes me feel so nice and accomplished. Anyways, hope you guys have fun with this one! :)

Miles was in trouble. Why did he start a truth or dare game with Gwen? Why did he say dare? Why did he commit to this stupid prank?!? He was dead. Even as he swung frantically through Brooklyn, New York to escape the madman chasing him, he knew deep in his heart that he was dead.

“MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILES!” Hobie bellowed after him, swinging towards him with a fiery anger in his chest.

“I’m sorry!! I thought it would be harmless! Gwen dared me to do it, go after her!” Miles shouted back. He desperately swooped through alleyways and cars, hopping over buses and roofs, doing everything in his power to escape the punk spider. But he just couldn’t shake the furious man.

“I’ll get ‘er AFTER I’M DONE KILLIN’ YOU!” Hobie barked. The older male swung up, twirling in a backflip, then shot a line of webbing towards Miles. It caught his back and Hobie yanked, causing Miles to lose his momentum and fall. Hobie was quick though, pulling the webbing closer so the younger man didn’t plummet to his death. He swung up to a nearby building and tossed Miles onto the concrete roof, watching him tumble onto his back.

“Ow! Ey, ey, EY! Chill! Let’s talk about this! Don’t you love talking??” Miles rambled in a panic, quickly backing away from the rapidly approaching Punk. Hobie wasted no time with thwipping Miles’ legs to the ground, then his web slingers so he couldn’t try to run away. Miles struggled to free himself with no luck. Finally, Hobie towered over him. It was hard to discern his facial features with his mask on, but his presence emitted rage.

“Miles. You’ve got free seconds to explain why I found DIS in mah flat today.” Hobie kneeled over Miles and held up his guitar. Although, it wasn’t his normal guitar. The strings were instead very poorly taped on pasta noodles. Some of the noodles were boiled, some weren’t, but after their little chase a lot of the noodles didn’t stay on the guitar. It really was a dumb prank and in retrospect, not even that funny.

“Ok, I know that you’re mad…” Miles began.

“Mad? Mad? I’m bloody fumin’, mate! Do ya know how much guitar strings cost?” Hobie growled, angrily slinking his guitar off his back but gently placing it on the floor beside them. 

“No…?”

“Nearly £120! Look me in me eyes and tell me you fink I can afford £120 of strings!” Hobie grabbed both of Miles’ wrists and forced them above his head, thwipping them multiple times to the ground.

“L-Listen! I’m sorry alright?? It was a prank! I didn’t mean to cut your strings I-”

“You cut ‘em?! Those strings were perfect, they were! Ooohoho Miles…” Hobie took a deep breath and sat back on his leg, tightening a fist and trying to calm himself. Miles tugged harder at his restraints but the webbing held true. He knew Hobie would never intentionally hurt him, but he couldn’t deny the nervousness that bubbled in his chest.

“Alright how about this, I’ll buy you new ones! Ok? And even after that I’ll still probably owe you! C’mon man we’re friends! Don’t do whatever violent thing you’re about to do!” the teen bargained, watching the eye lenses on the punk closely. Hobie turned his head back towards his friend and smirked under his mask.

“Me? Doin’ somefin violent? You know me all too well. But I ain’t gon do nofin to ‘urt yous, Miles. But tell me somefin. Your mum’s a nurse, yeah? You know how to stop a bleedin’ wound?” Hobie asked as leaned over the teen, cracking his knuckles and then his neck.  Miles swallowed nervously, attempting to pull his arms down once more before realizing he was screwed.

“You… you put pressure on it…?” he responded with a confused look to the older male. Hobie huffed a small laugh.

“You don’t say. I guess then you know wha’ I’m bouts to do wit these bleedin’ armpits, roight?” And before Miles could think, Hobie tasered his armpits with two fingers in each hollow. Miles barked out an embarrassing high-pitched yelp and fell into a loud cackling fit. He squirmed this way and that but Hobie just stuck to him (hee hee spiderman joke).

“AIIYE!! Gyahahahahaha! Hahahahaha Hobie! Ahahahahahaha whahahahahahat ahahahahahare you dohohohohohoing?!”

“Whas it look like, ya yankee? ‘M gettin’ revenge! As if I’d ‘urt mah protégé, come off it mahn. ‘Old on, dijyou jus snort?” Hobie asked, slightly recoiling at the sound he just heard.

And he was right. Miles had just snorted of all things. This was a big reason the teen avoided tickling or tickle fights because of his laugh. He was just too embarrassed. There were certain spots on his body that would immediately produce snorts, and his armpits were one of them.

“Pfffhehehehehehehahahahahahaha *snort* ahahahahahahaha! Stahahahahahahap ihihihihit! *snort* Nahahahahahahahahaaa! Quihihihihihit! Pleheheheheheheheeeease! *snort snort*” Miles snorted up a storm. He was glad he couldn’t see Hobie’s face because he knew he was smiling ear to ear like the Grinch.

“Ohoho nah mate. This is too good. Ya got a little piggy snort, do ya? Do ya always snort when someone tickles yer pits, eh? That’s hilarious, spidey. Kitchy koo~” Hobie teased as he scribbled all his digits into Miles’ exposed armpits, chuckling as the teen shrieked and snorted again.

“NAHAhahahahahaha! Nohohohoho kihihihihihitchy!” Miles argued, furiously shaking his head back and forth.

“Whas dat? No kitchy koo? Aw Miles, you’re such a lightweight mahn! C’mon mate, jus a few more! Jus a few more an’ I’ll stop wit de teasin’ yeah?” Hobie laughed as Miles shook his head more. He then moved his long fingers to his ribs which earned another yelp from the teen. Hobie couldn’t help but smile wider.

“Too bad! A kitchy kitchy koo~ Kitchy koo Miles!~ Aww, does it tickle? Ah bet it does. You wouldn’t be laughin’ so much overwise. Ain’t you cute? Wit all dese girly giggles an all. Oh mah god, you sound like Mayday! Hah! Tha’s adorable, mate. Does Gwen know about this?” Hobie teased, enjoying how Miles’ squirming turned to thrashing.

“STAHAHAHAHAP! DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHON’T TEHEHEHEHEHEHEHELL! HOHOHOHOHOHOHOBIE PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEASE! I’M SAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHARRY! LEHEHEHEHEHEHEHET ME UHUHUHUHUHUHUP PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEASE!!!” Miles screamed as he arched his back, wildly waving his head around while also trying to hide it behind his restrained arm. 

“‘Old on! You still ‘aven’t learned your lesson!” Hobie chuckled, tasering Miles' side to make him jump. Which he did. While also breaking the sound barrier for a split second with his shrill yelp.

“WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAT IHIHIHIHHIHIHIHHIHIS IHIHIHHIHIHIHIHHIHIHIT??” Miles screamed, almost at his limit. Hobie took note of this, knowing he needed to wrap it up.

“Understan’ dis, Miles. Pranks are only funny when I do ‘em. ‘Ear me?” Miles nodded frantically and Hobie finally backed off and let the teen breathe. Then he realized what would actually help and lifted Miles’ mask over his nose, not revealing his whole face. Miles took in greedy breaths of air as Hobie fished out his pocket knife, slicing away the webbing that held him down.

“Oi, you good? Gonna recover or ‘ave I traumatized ya?” the punk teased. Miles let out a tiny cough and a laugh.

“Nah, I’ll need therapy after what just happened. Consider a lawsuit ramming your ass, Brown,” the teen responded cheekily. Hobie barked out a laugh and shoved his shoulder, falling on his butt (although he played it off like it was intentional).

“You’ll ‘ave to catch me first, Morales. Cheeky bastard,” the punk chuckled and looked into the sun which was now setting over the city. They sat for a moment, Miles calming down with Hobie waiting on him.

“Listen man,” Miles started, “I shouldn’t have done that. I know how important your guitar is to you, and I should have backed out of Gwen’s dare. And I'll get you new strings. We’ll stop at a music store, there’s one not too far, I think,” Miles said, sitting up to face the older male. Hobie looked at him and nodded.

“Yeah, sounds cuppa. You good though, honest? Don’ need a Mickey Bliss or nofin’?” the punk asked as he stood, offering a hand to Miles, who gave him a confused look.

“I seriously have no idea how I understand you.” Hobie snickered and pulled Miles to his feet as the teen pulled his mask over his face. Then, the two heard someone shout ‘help!’ from the road below. They shared a look and nodded. Guitar strings could wait. Though Miles learned a very valuable lesson that day.

Don’t ever prank Hobie unless you want to have a death wish.

[mariamakeslemons]

Kinktober 2024: Day 12 Sex toys/Dirty Talk

Warning: Reader is attempted gender neutral, talk about betting and sexual punishments, Sub Soap, Sub Gaz

Arriving home, you hum as John meets you at the door.

“Have a good day, Love?” he asks, his hands wandering a little as he presses his hard cock to your hip.

“Mmmm, yeah,” you decide, ignoring his behavior to press a kiss to his cheek instead and enter your home, asking, “How were you and the others?”

“Trouble,” John reports with an amused smile, shifting himself a little as he clears his throat, “Gaz and Soap thought they could rile Ghost an’ I up just because we don’t have the same punishment as them.”

“Oh?” you ask in delight, a smile crawling across your face. Of course the Sergeants would try to get their superiors riled up, with John only having to wear a cock ring while Simon has a small plug up his ass. Of course, having been the closer of the four in their bets, John and Simon have the lighter of the punishment. Kyle has to contend with a plug and a vibrating cock ring, while Johnny is stuck with a vibrating cock ring and a vibrating dildo stuffed up his ass. You can’t help the impish smile that crosses your face as you see Simon sitting at the table, his hands lightly trembling as he works on the crossword book you bought him a week back.

“Hey, baby,” you croon, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He looks up at you, obviously amused by your mood. You grin and settle beside him, leaning in close as you whisper, “Did you and John use the remotes?”

“‘Course we did,” Simon grunts, his eyes crinkling from his grin, “Should’ve ‘eard Johnny. Whinin’ loike a right dog.” You snicker, leaning against his shoulder while pressing another kiss to his cheek.

“Good boy,” you purr, taking glee in the full body shudder that goes through Simon. John chuckles at you two, obviously knowing what you’re doing.

“Alright, don’t bully him,” John scolds you, “Go play with the others. They’ll be far more receptive.”

“Oh? Because you bullied them earlier?” you ask back, teasing. The grin John gives you tells you everything you need to know. Laughing, you leave Simon and John to sit at the table and head into the living room. The sight that greets you is delicious. Kyle lays on the sofa, a thin sheen of sweat covering his face as a wet spot stains his sweat pants, while Johnny humps at a pillow that was thrown on the floor with glassy eyes.

“I’m back, boys,” you practically sing, laughing as they both launch themselves at you.

“Babe, please,” Kyle whines, staring up at you with his big brown eyes, “Please tell ‘em t’ stop.”

“Mah cock ‘urts and Ah’ve been cumming fer ages,” Johnny whines, humping your leg like the dog you all joke he is, “Please make ‘em stop!”

“So you have been bullying them!” you call back to the other room. You hear a snort from the other room, but instead of acknowledging it, you focus on Kyle and Johnny. You press a kiss to Johnny’s forehead while scratching at Kyle’s head, cooing, “I’m so sorry that they were mean to you, boys. Do you boys want me to make it better?”

“Please,” Johnny begs, humping harder against you. Hard enough you can feel the faint vibrations from his cockring.

“Babes, please,” Kyle joins in, nuzzling against you throat. You hum, making a show of mulling the request over.

“Well,” you hum, “John and Simon did tell me that you were little whores today.” Immediately, Kyle groans in defeat while Johnny seems to speed up his humping. You smile, making it as sweet as possible while saying, “A right pair of sluts, trying to get John and Simon to fail in their punishments as well. After all, only tarts would cum in their pants due to some little toys.”

Johnny whines as he abruptly stills while Kyle jerks a little, the stain on his sweatpants getting a little bigger. You hum again, pecking both of them on the cheek before standing up.

“You can stop now,” you call to John and Simon, “They’ve already lost.”

“Two fer two,” Simon rumbles as both Sergeants go boneless against you. John chuckles and enters the living room with a smirk, his hands undoing his pants as he prowls over.

“Maybe you two can get us back now that Love’s here,” John offers. Johnny and Kyle both whine while you laugh, turning your head just enough to press a kiss to his bulge that hides behind his underwear.

“Maybe they can,” you agree with a smile, already planning how to tease the two Sergeants while they got fucked tonight.

[reallyprofoundkryptonite]

something with 🕊 and ☀️?

hmm i went with lil rose finch boyo for this lmao. And it's a true crime situation with corrupt police and whatnot because yeah.

Characters: Hiccup, Krogan

Warnings: Interrogation, torture, corruption

............................................................................................................................

“Ah don’ ‘ave the information you wan’!” Krogan snapped. He flared his wings. “Ya’ ‘ave the wrong person, I don’ get told anythin’!”

Hiccup stared at Krogan, whose wings were half-spread, trying to cope with the heat in his cell by keeping his feathers as far away from him as possible.

Krogan stared at Hiccup for a moment, puffing out the feathers on his chest with an angry growl, before he looked away.

“Ya’ already said tha’ the guy who killed ‘im ‘ad two legs! Don’ know if ya’ noticed bu’ ah only ‘ave one!” he blinked down at his stump, and he shivered. Heat rolled up his spine. It was horrible, it was too hot, he couldn’t focus properly.

“Why yous wan’ me to give ya th’ damn answer so bad? Ah didn’ do nuthin!”

Hiccup leaned against the glass.

“Because your fingerprints were found at the scene.” He stated simply.

Krogan fluffed out his pale wings, and he narrowed his eyes, sweat dripping from his forehead, into his eyes. He was used to heat. He was from the south, after all, but this was awful. He wanted to tear out his feathers to keep them from brushing his sweat-slicked skin.

“You were one of the last people to be around Drago,” Hiccup sneered.

“An’ why yous think tha’?” He lifted his head, the room spinning around him.

“Ah’s was taken fro’ mah ‘ome by tha’ basterd when ahs was just a boy! ‘E killed mah damn family!” His eyes hardened with anger. “‘E forced me ta work fer im! Ah couldn’ urt th’ bastard because ‘e fuckin’ made it so ah was terrified of ‘im!”

Hiccup blinked at him from behind the glass.

“But that doesn’t mean you didn’t hire someone to kill him.” He said simply.

“Look, ah’m appy tha’ fuckin moron is dead, bu’ ah coul’ never be th’ one ta wanna willingly kill someone!” he crossed his arms across his chest.

“‘E as ya guys wrapped ‘round ‘is finger!” He snarled, shaking his head. His hair splattered sweat on the floor. “E’s dealin in slave rings! ‘E’s havin’ men kidnap lil girls ta sell! Ah was there! Ah know! Ah was ‘is little child bitch!”

Krogan bared his teeth at Hiccup

“Ah ‘ave th’ scars ta prove tha’!”

“He still owned a lot of land in our city.” Hiccup deadpanned.

“Ah know someone who coul’ give ya th’ response ya’ wan’! Someone who’s a bigger threat ta’ yer city than the rest, o’ these idiots, an ah know ‘e’s gotta be behind this”

He weakly struggled in his bindings, as a blinding light was forced into his eyes. Heat came pouring off of the lightbulb, and Krogan swallowed. He was thirsty.

“If what you are saying checks out, then you are certainly a smart fellow.” Hiccup steepled his hands. “But you still killed people, and I’m willing to lighten your sentence if you tell me who this man is.”

“Lighten mah sentence?!” Krogan sat up. “AH SHOULDN’ AVE ONE AT ALL!” dizziness wavered through him, and he slowly sunk into his seat, groaning. He was too hot, too tired, and he wanted to go home.

His wings shivered in their position, stretched out, flapping weakly to try and get air to circulate around him.

But it was too little. Krogan slipped away into darkness.

[oh-god-its-fig-archived]

Fig, don’t say soon. Say fuck.

🌿 "Yer a're'dy giv'n' me asks? OP sti'l go'tah geh' ahl'a mah icohns re'dy an' ahl th'othas, t'o! Oh we'l, it ain't go'na 'urt t'jus' grab'a few..."

🌿 "Fu'k."

[the-smallest-star]

“Tyler stop!”

“Whats wrong dumpster? Afraid cos your big sister isn’t here?”

“Just leave me alone Tyler!”

“Why? You’re pratically asking for it! Dad says people like you are sponges cos you'll never get adopted out!”

“I didn’t do anything to you, just let go!”

“Wonder if your face is gonna squish when I punch it!”

“STOP IT!!”

“OOOOOOOOOOWWW!!! OW OW OWWW!!! MAH IP!! MAH EETH!!”

“.... H-Hannah? How’d you....”

“AH EALLY URT!!”

[ask-the-jester-buds]

Tybelt, I'm going after your bro. He's hot,

Why should ah care if ya try t✸ c✸urt him ✸r n✸t?

Its his decit✸n wh✸ he g✸es ✸ut with, n✸t mine. 

G✸ ahead and try.

But ya hurt mah br✸....

I’ll break yer fuckin’ knees. 

[hjazysol]

I don't know if this is weird or not but how do you pronounce your JoJo characters names?

Oh sure it's not weird at all. Some of them do look strange to be honest ^^. I won't do the obvious parts/ones.

Jacqueline Michaels- Ja-ku-lin Mi-chu-ls

Jennifer Michaels- Je-ni-fer ''

Sam P. Rooke- Sam P. Roo-kuh

Bryce Marcelo- Buh-rice Mar-sel-o

Danny Clinton- Obvious

Cassidy Culioh- Cah-sih-dee Coo-leo

Micheal D. Culioh- My-cul Dee ''

Kelly Culioh- Keh-lee ''

Rick Floyd- Rik Ful-oid

Kirk Hendrix- Kirk Hen-druhks

Billie Jean- Obvious

Arctic 'Adeo'- Aak-tic 'Ahh-Deyo'

Lotus Hetfield- Low-tus Het-feeld

Chrissy McVie- Kri-see Mac-vee

Andru Mercury- An-drew Merk-ur-ee

Abraxus- Ab-rack-sus ඞ

Mason McReady 'Motorhead'- May-son Mac-ree-dee

Ramones- Ram-oan-ez

Candy Lang- Obvious

Ozzy Freeman- ''

Vane Halen- ''

Jonas Joestar- ''

Dinah Joestar- ''

Dualia- Dew-ale-ee-ya

Diana Rosé- Die-an-ah Row-zay

Demetrius Stone- Dem-ee-tree-us Stone

Milu Kanaloa- My-loo Can-a-low-a

Midnight 'Satch'- Obvious

Jocelyn Joestar- Obvious

Willert Eeko- Will-urt Ee-ko

Ty-Chi- Obvious

Miras- My-ras

Moira- Moy-ra

Jojimi Kujo- Obvious

Joriko Kujo- ''

Toishiro Kujo- Tow-ee-shiro ''

Takeshi Sinatara- Tah-kesh-ee Shee-nah-tara

Kyosho Munuro- Kio-show Moon-oro

Miazaki Munuro- Me-ahz-aki ''

Seiko Matsura- Sai-co Mat-sor-ah

Stinger- Obvious

Shiusuke Shinobu- She-oo-skay Shi-no-bu

Birisho Sakarū- Bih-ree-sho Sak-aru

Rza- R-Z-A

P.T. Gabrieru- P-T Gay-bri-eru or just Gabriel

Coda Shugama- Co-da Shew-gah-mah

[adventurepunks]

thedemonconstantine​:

John was all sprawled out on the couch with Fourfourtwo half-read and open over his face and snoring away. Talia had decided to let him sleep past lunch for he had come in really early that morning, smelling like sulphur and lethargy.

So he twitched off the couch startled when a tiny finger poked away at him, the soccer magazine dropping to the floor as he squinted at that sweet little face that was right next to his now.

“Nngh- Aye, aye, yeh woh, me darlin’? Hmm, come ‘ere ‘n give us a kiss, aye?” Said John with his words stirred into a sleepy drawl.

“Come on, let’s ‘ave a lookitcher.”

He slung an arm around Alexis and with a groan, carried her to flop her atop his stomach, running his hand through her golden locks and he brought her little head in closer to sniff at it.

Good girl showered. Very good.

“Th’ whole bloody plate? Cor, e’en I can’t eat porcelain. Yeh gots ‘ta teach me tha’ some day,” Said John as he smothered her crown with all the kisses she deserved. 

“Aye, so I did. Yeh cleaned up proper now, didje? Nah sweepin’ yeh toys under th’ bed? I stepped on yeh Lego last week ‘n me foot ‘urt fer days, me darlin’. Do yeh wants yeh Da’s poor, poor lil’ feet ‘ta git ‘urt?”

John pinched her nose with a sleepy chuckle.

“Yeh oul now, are yeh? Well, ‘ow much oulder? Five minutes? Five days? Five hunnerd years? Oh noes, ‘ow long did I sleep?!” He put on a look of pure shock, then proceeded to tickle Alexis till she screamed.

“Where’s yeh brovahs? ‘N yeh Ma? Da needs a spot o’ tea afore we talk boutcher fing,” Now she was rubbing her cheek on his arm and John grinned, ruffling her hair and sitting up on the couch even if it took a bit more out of him to do so.

“’luv yeh too, me pre’ey darlin’. Now run along ‘n bring yeh poor Da a cuppa, ‘n den we’ll chat.”  

“I didn’t sweep my toys under the bed da I swears on me life”

No, all her toys had been stuffed into her wardrobe but that was going to be a problem only when the school year resumed and she’d have to open that particular section. “Mah put Jimi for a nap after his footie match.” She giggled as John kissed her head so many times. “Eeeeew daaaaaa you are like a slug you iz.” She would in turn blow a raspberry on John’s cheek and hug his head tightly.

“DAMIAAAAAAN. DAAAA IS AWAKE” she called out and no doubt would wake her sleeping brother too and giggled so loudly when John tickled her. “I’m ticklish...daaaaaad...stooop.” she thrashed and squealed and then licked John’s nose to make him stop and accidentally let out a little fart. 

“Daaaa that’s eeeewie” she blamed him for it as Damian came into the living room, Alexis rushed off to the kitchen.

Alexis had rushed with John’s cup and even had microwaved John some left over pasta like the dutiful daughter that she was with a heap of cheese she grated herself.

“Ma put Jimi for a nap after footie. Oh, I forgot to tell you ma took Damian to at Uncle Chas'. Buying his missus’s old laptop they are”

Damian had put the blanket on John and had even kissed his exhausted father’s forehead.

[prinxietys]

CAN YOU DO SOMETHING SINGING RELATED!? (the deed is done)

**I got you mah dude**

“What did you think?”

“Was this the song you were telling me about?”

“Yes...”

“Anxiety that was beautiful.”

“Why are you crying?”

“B-Because you m-made something s-s-so beautiful just for me-me, and you’ve been p-practicing so ha-Ard you even hu-urt your fingers.”

“Stop crying- you’re gonna make me cry!”

“C-Can I ask you one thing?”

“...Yes.”

“Will you please s-sing it again?”

(Part 2 end)

**Come in my inbox and scream about something you like, and I will write a ten sentence pure dialogue chat for Prinxiety reacting to your interest**

[zharizard666]

waa I forgot to post!!!! \(º □ º l|l)/

art-trade with @psinana! Kdrama Clausten 4 uuu! ⋆｡°✩

[zharizard666]

scrunklies =)

[zharizard666]

the sillies

[zharizard666]

You're the only person I know that likes Clausten and Good Kid, so...

Whenever I listen at Good Kid's cover of "From the start" I think about Clausten.

Hope I have successfully infected with Clausten your music tastes.

AAAAA NOW WE ARE TWO GOOD KIDS THAT LIKE CLAUSTEN >:D

I love how you could interpret this song coming from either side, they both would go around circles over their crush and get angry at silly misunderstandings xD

Unrelated but I think of Nesscas when listening to Pox, I like angsty Lucas jajaja

[zharizard666]

Merry Christmas Y'all!! <3

lil follow-up sketch <3

[zharizard666]

he ded