#mah friend drew dis

[oh-goddess-of-chaos]

⠀ 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 – 𝐣. 𝐝. 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ✧‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ (navi. & masterlist. & tag. )

「 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 」 yandere!jason dean 𝒙 female!reader

「 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 」 in which you try to break up with jason dean, but you find that doing so is a lot harder than you anticipated.

「 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 」 man-handling, murder / death, manipulation, toxic / abusive relationship, unconsensual kissing, threatening, swearing, generally psychotic behavior, implied / referenced stalking, general yandere themes.

「 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 」 1.2k

「 𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐧'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 .⁺ ˖ ⌒ this one's a bit on the shorter side, but it was fun to write!

"You killed her."

Those were the only words you could think to utter staring at your deranged ex-partner. "You fucking killed her, didn't you?"

In spite of your current rage and distress, all J. D. could seem to do was offer you a devilish grin and a smirk. "Well, I wouldn't say killed her, just... I put her out of her misery, is all. Charity work, really."

"You did it. You murdered my best friend. Do you think this is a joke?"

"Well, it is quite funny, if I do say so myself."

You weren't quite sure what you were feeling at the moment. Anger was one thing, but heartbroken, too, for you had lost the person that was closest to you.

And yet, your inner turmoil aside, you felt a terrible, terrible smile slither its way across your face - a not because you were happy by any stretch - the situation you found yourself in was by no means one that'd cause you any feelings of joy - but simply because you had no idea what else to do.

"She was right. I should have stayed away from you. You're not a rebel. You're fucking psychotic."

"Well, you say tomato, I say 'to-mah-to'."

You grated your teeth together. "Just get out, J. D." You were much too tired to play any of J. D.'s mind games. You just wanted him gone. And for a moment - for one beautiful moment - he seemed to consider doing what you asked. But, alas, he was never one for folding so easily.

"No."

You drew in a sharp breath. "Excuse me?"

J. D. took a step closer to you. You held your ground, hoping to give off the impression that you weren't intimidated by what he might do; you knew he had a loaded gun on him, and his unpredictable nature didn't ease your racing heart.

"I'm not leaving, and you can't make me."

"J. D., this is my house."

"Well, technically it's your parent's home, and I doubt you want to get them involved, unless you'd like two more of your loved ones with their brains blown out."

You stiffened, your throat tightening up. Upon your lack of a response, J. D.'s mouth curled into a wicked smile. "That's what I thought. Now, how about we both go out to 7-11 and grab a couple of slushies?"

J. D. outstretched his arm in order to grasp your hand, but just as your fingers brushed, you jerked backwards. J. D.'s smile faded.

"Y/n - "

"I'll call the cops - I'll fucking call the cops on you, J. D.!"

J. D. raised an eyebrow and began nodding. "The cops?" He inquired. "Tell me, when they arrest me, do you think they're going to ignore the fact that you somehow knew for a fact that I killed Heather, Kurt, and Ram? What proof do you have that doesn't incriminate yourself? What will you say when they ask you how you know it's me? You wrote the letters."

"Yeah, well I didn't murder people!"

A strangely exuberant laughter escaped J. D.'s lips. "You didn't, did you? Then you didn't give Heather that mug of liquid drainer? And you also didn't shoot Kurt?"

You paused briefly, thinking of a quick defence. "Well I didn't know that was the wrong cup! And Kurt - I was just so shocked - "

J. D. took a step forward. You took a step back. J. D. grinned. He continued his approach until you inevitably collided with the wall, letting out a small gasp. "Admit it, Y/n!" He trapped you with his arms. "You say I'm evil, but look in the mirror! We're the same! We both do fucked up shit, and we like it! I saw that look on your face when Heather died. You were glad."

"We are not the same. I did not want them dead. Whatever you thought you saw in me when Heather died, it wasn't there. You're delusional, J. D. Now, I'm calling the cops, so don't even try to - "

"You can't call them. You know that. The moment you do your parents would be dead - and, besides, you know you couldn't pay to have a lawyer send me to jail. I know your parents wouldn't be able to afford it."

He was right. And you hated him for it. You didn't even ask how he knew your family wouldn't have sufficient funds - at this point, you'd be surprised if he didn't know something about you or your personal life.

"Well, I'm not coming with you, no matter what you'd do. I'd rather - "

J. D. didn't allow you to finish, forcefully swallowing your words with the press of his lips. The kiss was anything then what it should have been - it was greedy, feverish, demanding. You didn't have so much as a moment to breath as J. D. devoured you, leaving you terribly, terribly breathless. His icy fingers tug into your skin, surely leaving bruises, and you shuddered at the feeling of his wandering hands along your exposed skin.

J. D.'s kisses now were not what they once were. A million years ago, they sweet and tender, a warm interlocking of souls on a cold winter's day. They were beautiful and wonderful and tasted of nothing but kindness and thoughtfulness. But this one was nothing like the ones you'd experienced in the past. It was hungry, rough as J. D. pressed you plush against him, searing as opposed to warm, poisonous as opposed to tender.

It was after what could only be described as an eternity that J. D. pulled away, staring at your dizzy self with a satisfied expression upon his face.

Because, at last, here you were, like a bird with clipped wings, caught in J. D.'s trap, the one you'd unknowingly watched him craft bar by bar.

You froze as you felt two arms slither around your waist, firmly pulling you to J. D. He liked you like this - he could practically smell the fear radiating off of you, and it was intoxicating. Neither slushies nor cigars could compare to the high he felt from your presence.

"You're not leaving. You can't. And, besides, I'd kill you if you did." He let out a satisfied sigh. "I worship you - can't you see that?" You shivered as J. D.'s warm breath tickled your ear. "We were meant to be, darling. There was a reason we met... you were made for me."

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding as J. D. slowly let you go, grasping your chin between his forefinger and thumb. You naturally diverted your gaze.

J. D. grabbed your arm and squeezed it tightly, causing you to let out a small yelp. "Look at me."

Hesitantly, you obliged, your stomach knotting when you caught the dark glimmer in J. D.'s eyes. It was then that you knew - knew that you'd never once be free again, knew you'd be forever bound to J. D.

"We're going to fix this fucked up world together, Y/n."

© do not translate, steal, or repost any of my works elsewhere without consulting me and gaining my consent.

[lexicorp]

Got raven and hunter bein doods

Raven is more fit in the og toh world than my au and rlly love the them being like casual work buds

Raven would also totally be friends with Steve, prob hang out with him more than hunter given hunter being busy and the rank difference

Rlly interesting contemplating how shit would go down with mah boi with the recent show happenings lolz, raven would def be one to abandon ship and join the rebellion

drew dis shit a decent while ago^

[introvert-no-chameleon]

Meeting the Man-Ape

So @sleepsentry made this amazing AU and my childhood Tarzan phase came back like a vengeful ghost and teamed up with my current GF obsession to deliver this ficlet and an entire outline. 

Anyway, here’s how I imagine Fidds’ and Tarzan!Stan first meeting. 

*

Fiddleford should have said no when his old college friend had invited him to a scientific expedition to study anomalies in other countries. Maybe if he hadn't been so disillusioned with his lap computers, or if he hadn't gone through a divorce, he would've had enough sense to stay at home.

Instead, here he was, in some god-forsaken jungle in the middle of nowhere on a tree of all things, hugging the massive moss-covered trunk for dear life.

The humidity was suffocating, making him sweat to the point where his button up stuck stubbornly to his skin. He felt wet in uncomfortable places, itchy in others, and overall decided he did not, in fact, want to be here. To make matters worse, he was sure he would stumble onto camp smelling like wet socks. The ominous chirping and roaring in the jungle around him did nothing to alleviate his stress  nor did the occasional shufflingnhe'd heard among the trees.

He'd gotten chased up a tree, lost his shoe and lost track of Stanferd and their incredibly untrustworthy guide, (a poacher of all things) and he was pretty sure he was about to fall to his untimely demise.

Wonderful. They'll probably never find his body in this unholy mess. His tombstone will read “Fiddleford Hadron McGucket, the Biggest Damn Fool to Ever Live”.

He huffed, holding onto the tree he was in the process of climbing. The tips of his toes were on the one he'd stood on. He stretched, pulled his weight up...and found himself stuck between both of them with no way to move.

Fuck.

"Well," he muttered. "It ain't like this can get any worse."

As if the Lord Himself had heard Fiddleford, a clap of thunder shook the sky, followed by a heavy torrent of rain.

"You know what? I shoulda known better."

He slumped, hanging his head between his shoulder blades. Against his better judgement he decided to see just how high up he was to assess just how bad he messed up.

One can imagine his surprise, then, when another human face floated inches away from his own.

Fiddleford yelled, pushing himself away from the stranger. He immediately regretted the knee-jerk reaction when he felt his body swerve downwards. Apparently, he was high up enough that the trunks of the trees felt dizzyingly tall. He flailed his arms in an attempt to regain balance.

A single finger poked his nose, then gently pushed him back. The gesture sent Fiddleford toppling backwards, until his butt landed on a steady surface.

Oh thank goodness. He exhaled in relief, allowing himself a few moments to regain his composure.

The soft thud in front of him jolted him back to his current situation. Or rather, the person whom he was with.

A masculine figure with thick, long locks of brown hair and hunched on fours much like an ape, observed Fiddleford with curious, child-like wonder. The only thing this person wore to preserve their modesty was a loincloth. The rest of their body had impressive muscles, their fingers and toes wide-spread to better their grip on the trunk they were on. Which meant they not only climbed their way up, they must've done so quickly, because Fiddleford certainly would've noticed a person like this around him.

Right. The fabled man-ape. Of course Stanferd would've actually been right about this one thing, and of course Fiddleford had been the one to find them.

No matter. His momma had taught him manners, and he wasn't about to throw those away just because he was in unfamiliar territory. "Er, howdy," said Fiddleford, cautiously. "It's a pleasure to meet ya, the name's Fiddleford Hadron McGucket." He extended his hand to the stranger.

The ape-man cocked their head to the side. Fiddleford couldn't help but notice how eerily similar this person was to Stanferd. Aside from the fact that they haven't shaved, they still had the same broad nose, the bushy eyebrows, the brown eyes alight with excitement.

Please, this ain't some movie. Stanferd havin' some secret twin? That would be ridiculous. But back to the situation at hand--he probably don't understand a thing I'm sayin'. This'll be tricky…

The man-ape cleared their throat. They pointed at themself, and with a shocklingly deep voice, said: "Er...howdy. The name's Fiddleford Hadron McGucket."

Now that was interesting. "Fascinating...ya even copied the inflection of mah voice."

The man-ape copied Fiddleford's sentence again, looking pleased with themselves.

"That still spells the question of whether or not ya understand--now hold on just one second!"

The ape-man had crawled over and admired Fiddleford's shoe-less foot, a process which entailed pulling Fiddleford closer for inspection. They were mighty strong, too, judging by how easily he moved Fiddleford.

The scientist slapped the ape-man's hand away. "See here, there is no need for that kind of tomfoolery!"

The ape-man grunted. The message didn't come across, because he went back to touching him, albeit more carefully.

"No, no, that ain't what I meant!" A giggle escaped Fiddleford as he touched each of his toes, soon replaced by full-on-laughter.

This startled his companion, who drew back for a moment, giving Fiddleford enough time to catch his breath. They stared, watching Fiddleford intently.

They suddenly widened their eyes. Approaching Fidds once more, he placed a hand on his own chest. Then he slowly moved his own to Fiddleford's, waiting.

Now intrigued again, Fiddleford placed the hand over his chest. Once a few moments passed, they brought Fiddleford's entire head to his own chest and good lord they were hairy.

They also smelled like a sweaty mess. Fiddleford was quick to push them away. "Yes, that's a...mighty fine heartbeat ya have. Very healthy."

If this is what the anomalies felt when they studied them, he couldn't blame some of them for wanting to rip he and Ford a new one. He himself felt more than a little irritated at the bold-faced intrusiveness.

They extended their hand, but this time stopped in mid air, and held their palm towards Fiddleford.

With some hesitation, Fiddleford went up and held his own palm up. They placed it right against his. When their fingers interlaced Fiddleford's, he felt his face flush.

He drew his hand back towards himself, coughing. "Well, I-I think that's enough of that."

"Tar...stan."

Fiddleford blinked up at his new companion. "Say what now?"

They pointed at themselves. "Tarstan." They pointed at Fiddleford. "Er...howdy. The name's Fiddleford Hadron McGucket."

Fiddleford chuckled. "That's too much of a mouthful, I reckon."

"That's too much of a-"

Fiddleford shook his head. "No, it's. Now, wait, look at me," he said gesturing at their eyes and then himself. "Fiddleford."

"Fiddleford," they said, pointing at the scientist. They gestured at themself. "Tarstan."

Fiddleford nodded, his mouth split into a grin. "That's right! Now we're gettin' somewhere."

The sound of a gunshot had him jolt upwards, cursing up a storm. He was thankful Tarstan was too occupied glancing at the source of the sound to repeat any of it.

"That must be Bill." His lips curled into a disgusted frown. "Damn fool, shooting all over the place, he'll hurt somebody…"

Tarstan imitated the gunshot, an amused smile playing on their lips.

An idea formed in Fiddleford's head. "Do ya think ya can get me over there? To where that noise is?"

They grinned, which he took as a good sign as any. Tarstan looping his arm around his waist was considerably less reassuring.

"Er, what're we doing--sweet sarsaparilla!"

Tarstan leaped onto a vine,  keeping his grip on Fiddleford as he did so. He managed to not only keep his grip, but also swing them from vine to vine in the direction of Bill's shooting.

He couldn't describe it then, but later on he'd reflect on the ominous twist in the pit of his stomach as they approached the camp. If Fiddleford had known just what would've happened in the next few months, he probably would've never brought them anywhere near Bill.

*

Extra Ideas that I Have:

-Ford secretly has been hoping to find his lost twin, who “died” in the same area as the fabled “man-ape” because he was separeted from his brother at a young age when [insert whatever idea one may have to explain how Stan could end up in a jungle being raise by apes, because I don’t have one]. He is estatic that not only is his brother alive, he’s an anomaly just like him! 

-I imagine Bill’s motives being very similar to the Tarzan villain (whatever his name is) . Fidds in this AU is more suspicious, but is still unable to stop him alone.

-Fiddleford ends up falling for Tarzan!Stan and vice versa much like Jane does in the OG film.

-Stanford also is intent on having his brother return to civilization, but Tarzan!Stan is unsure about leaving.

-I imagine them having an ending similar to the film. 

[lady-tortilla-chip]

I was tagged by my lovely friend @thetpot and my other lovely friend @praetorqueenreyna! Thanks for the tag sweeties, this was fun! ❤��

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

74

2. What is your total AO3 word count?

226,393 😌

3. Top five fics by kudos

1. A Little Hostility (701)

2. A Little Love for The Broken Things (383)

3. Glorified Birthmarks (344)

4. The Blue in Your Eyes (314)

5. A Little Love for The Damaged Things (279)

Incidentally almost all of these are in the same (ironstrange) series. The only one that isn’t was either my first or my second venture into the MCU fandom.

4. Do you respond to comments, and why?

I absolutely do! I enjoy interacting with my readers. However I am behind on answering them right now and have far more unanswered in my inbox than I’d like. >.>

5. What’s the fic you have written with the angstiest ending?

Probably all my unfinished multi-chapter fics

Seriously though? I’m not sure how to gauge that because of how many angst fics I’ve written that don’t end well ranging from just MCD fics to what follows the losses and how characters cope (or fail to) others which build on the fact that a character in BSD was a traitor to their organization, the hanahaki fics that didn’t end well…. I’m an angst writer so I have a multiple fics that didn’t end well.

I suppose a few which specifically come to mind are Why Couldn’t it Have Been You? and The Things T(He)y Did.

In the first one it’s a retelling of a scene in BSD and though I’m not entirely proud of that fic or the way I wrote it, it WAS sad as shit because it ends with the POV character (Dazai) learning the guy he’s still in love with (Chuuya) wants absolutely nothing to do with him and wishes he’d have died instead of the person (Odasaku) they both lost.

The second is a take on what the POV character’s (Tachihara from BSD) birthday was like through the years of playing a double agent and who he’d fallen in love with (Chuuya) along the way. During his latest birthday though he’s alone and it ends with Chuuya showing up sad and drunk because not long prior to that day he’d broken up with Tachihara for being a traitor. It’s implied they spend the night together and I left it up to interpretation whether Chuuya left (and took Tachihara’s cat) without a word the next day or not.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I think the most rewarding ending was in my fic Not Yet and the reason why is because though the ending itself isn’t particularly happy, it is hopeful. The implications that the two characters wanted to continue growing their relationship beyond being hateful enemies just made ME happy. As well as multiple commenters who mentioned how perfect the ending was. XD I’m sure I have fics with happier endings but this one stuck out specifically because of how it made me feel when I wrote it.

7. Do you write crossovers, if so what’s the craziest one you have done?

I have come up with exactly ONE crossover before which was for BSD and YOI! I honestly came up with it for the sole purpose of bringing Nakahara Chuuya (BSD) and Yuri Plisetsky (YOI) together. Which…I’ve yet to actually do. BUT IT WILL HAPPEN ONE DAY!

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Strangely enough, nope! I even wrote sebaciel fic too so idk how I’ve managed that tbh.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I don’t! Y’all will consistently get fade to black from me because that’s just mah damn style.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

……..not that I’m aware of 😶

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! There is a Russian translation for It Started Out With A Book floating around out there somewhere I think. The first two fics in my IronStrange series got translated into Chinese and the first fic in that series also got translated into Vietnamese!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! And I’m not sure how interested I would be in doing so. But no one’s ever asked before so! Who knows! Maybe it would be fun.

13. All time favorite ship!

Fuck this question. I’m a multi-shipping multi-fandom enjoying fiend. You think I can CHOOSE?! 😤

…….Kay so Nezushi or Soukoku come to mind first because they are the ships that drew me back to fanfiction and inspired me to write fic! (Y’all probs thought I’d say an Aang pairing XD)

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you will?

I refuse to believe I won’t eventually finish them all. 😭

15. What are your writing strengths?

I’m pretty talented at making folks cry! I’ve been told my writing can be poetic and evocative! I believe that sometimes.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Everything

Probably dialogue and avoiding redundancy in my writing. I also can’t write action scenes for shit. 😬 Humor either. The one time I managed to have people laughing through my fic was a fluke and I’ll probs never be capable of repeating it.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

So because I started writing fic for animes, I’ve just gotten used to utilizing terms and such that can’t be directly translated into English.

18. First fandom you wrote for?

I started writing for Bungou Stray Dogs in August of 2017! Still going strong with that one too! 😌 Fucking love that show/manga.

19. Fave fic you have written?

Ah noooooo I hate these questions because they’re so mean!!!! Why are you asking me yo choose between my creations? My children?!

So ima just say The Way He Flies again because it’s my most recent fic and I’m still so so proud of all 1k words of it.

Tagging: @stargirl720, @voodoosgirl1, @hootyapologist, @justoceanmyth,@azulaang-chakras, @foxy-knowledgeseeker, @thinkingisadangerouspastime, and @likealittleheartbeat, idk how many of my writer friends already did this so I tagged who I’m pretty sure DIDN’T :D

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuouki Yuugiroku 3 Short Episode “Very Similar”

This translation is from the 3rd Yuugiroku game “Hakuoki Yuugiroku - Taishitachi no Daienkai,” and I will not be referring to it as such since it’s too much of a hassle to copy/paste/look up the title every time plus I reserve the right to be lazy since I don’t see anyone else translating anything from this game! xD lol... as such, this why I will only be tagging this under ‘Yuugiroku 3.’

ANYWAY.

when i was taking a break from filling up my queue with ssl stuff, i ended up translating this for some reason. lol. should probably have done something from kyoka-roku since there’s still that rain scenario stuff and the other char povs to do, but since i have translations for about 95% of this game (not counting yuugiroku 1 [have a patched psp iso file but I don’t care to learn how to extract text from it as i’m lazy] and 2 [have various tl for this... very unorganized plus some of it is incomplete] which are bundled onto this vita game), i figured that it didn’t matter if i got a tiny head-start. The only thing I can’t translate/have no translations for from this game is the section that has no text where the guys comment on various drinks or something (can’t remember what they are aside from sake cuz i distinctly remember Saito saying something about sake and tofu lol), and the misc dialogue that occurs when you select something in the menu or during the mini-games.

In regards to this content, I think this was in what was referred to as the “Appreciation section” [not sure+too lazy to check jp mtl], though the translation of the text on the right on the first image below the cut is ‘episode’ in Chinese so I will be labelling this as such... There are a total of 9 in these in the game.

all images used in this post are my screenshots aside from the game box art (this is the limited ed bonus version). do not repost elsewhere.

enjoy~

Hakuouki Yuugiroku Taishitachi no Daienkai - Episode “Very Similar” 

Translation by KumoriYami

Characters [text on bottom left]: Hijikata, Okita, Sakamoto 

Hijikata: Ah, I'm back.

Sakamoto: Yo Hijikata, I've come to visit.

Hijikata: ...! You are Sakamoto! What are you doing here!

Souji: We were just talking about HIjikata-san.

Hijikata: Me?

Sakamoto: Yeah! You and I were born in the 6th year of Tenpō [天保], really what a coincidence!

Hijikata: What nonsense, weren't there a lot of people born in that year?

Souji: That's not all, Sakamoto-san is also the youngest son of a rich family.

It's no wonder why [these] two [have] faces that looked completely spoiled by everyone and the world around them.

Hijikatta: Are you qualified to tell me that?

I suffered a lot during those days/years [the actual word used is "years" but the phrase used can mean either "in those days", "during that time", and "in those years"].

Sakamoto: That's right, have you tried being a merchant?

If you're capable of doing that, you should go and open and up your own store. [theres no damn pronoun subject in this sentence but based on jp mtl  and context, im assuming he's telling souji off]

Souji: Hijikatasan, you opened a store/ran a store? With his temper? That's not the way to joke [That's not something to joke about/That's a bad joke?].

Hijikata: Shut up! I also didn't think that suitable for me to do.

Sakamoto: After your parents also died early. [Weren't you] raised by your eldest sister who is [now the] closest to you too? Actually, that's another a coincidence!

Souji: Eh, it is like that. I was also left with my elder sister after my parents died early.

Sakamoto: Oh, then you were also brought up by your elder sister!

Souji: I don't remember so who knows.

Sakamoto: You don't remember....... you can't remember your own sister?

Souji: Mah, it's more complicated for me.

Sakamoto: (whispered) Although I don't understand that, it's better to not ask questions.

Hijikatta:  (whispers) Yeah, the exterior of this guy is [already] super troublesome.

Souji: By the way, doesn't Sakamoto-san have a friend who is sick and bedridden?

Sakamotto: Ah you're talking about Takasugi?

That guy is bedridden [literally: 'to fall gravely ill, never to recover' (idiom)] because of tuberculosis.

Hijikata: Tuberculosis.......  it's said to be an incurable disease, [we?] should go and meet him while he's still alive.

Souji: Hm....... There are similarities even in this aspect?

Hijikata: What did you say?

Souji: Nothing, just thinking aloud.

(”art” cg)

Hijikata: That reminds me, this morning you drew on my face while I was asleep!

Souji: I obviously used prepared ink, [so] I don't know how you managed to remove it.

Hijikata: I was desperately worked to get it off! It would have been a disaster if I didn't leave without checking a mirror!

Souji: It would be better to have all the mirrors inside headquarters hidden away next time I draw.

Hijikata: Souji, you.......!

Sakamoto: I don't know if the relationship between you is good or bad.

I've heard that the Shinsengumi rules and ranks are well respected [maintained/adhered to.. i guess?].

But this doesn't look it's harsh to a deranged degree.

Souji: that's right, even though Hijikata-san looks like this, he's a very tolerant person.

(cg 2)

Hijikata: Hmph, it's annoying how you say whatever comes to mind [say whatever you please].

Souji: I'm serious, I truly respect Hijikata-san.

Hijkata: Shut up. If you're going to be making stupid comments, hurry up and leave with Sakamoto. I have documents I need to write!

Sakamoto: What? It wasn't easy for me to come/I finally managed to come [yet] you're so cold and detached.

Souji: Hijikata-san is such a person, but as he says, we should go. Ah by the way Sakamoto-san, are you able to write haiku?

Sakamoto: Oh? I'm only able to write basic phrases at the level of an ordinary person [I can only write basic phrases].

Souji: I have a lovely book of haiku, would you like to take a look?

(oni cg with horns + sound of thunder)

Hijikata: You stole my haiku collection again! I will absolutely not be letting you off today!

--------------------

did this in june lol. 

i do like these short stories... not that yuugiroku 3 has any real plot to speak of, though i have no idea when I’ll translate another of these or anything from this game again for that matter since i still got ssl and ginsei no shou to work on.

[imagekeepr]

funny and fake names

this list of fake names was compiled for humor. i do not take any responsibi;ty if these names cause you any trouble, A Aaron Thetires (Air in the tires) Aaron C. Reskew (Air & sea rescue) Abe Rudder (Hey brother) Achilles Punks (I'll kill these punks) Adam Bomb (Atom bomb) Adam Meway (Out of my way) Adam Sapple (Adam's apple) Adolf Oliver Nipples (Ate off all of her nipples) Ahmed Adoodie (I made a doodie - from The Simpsons) Al B. Zienya (I'll be seeing you) Al Beback (I'll be back) Al DePantzeu (I'll de-pants you) Al E. Gator (Alligator) Al Gore-Rhythm (Algorithm) Al Kaseltzer (Alka-Seltzer) Al Kickurass (I'll kick your ass) Al Killeu (I'll kill you) Al Koholic (Alcoholic - as used in The Simpsons) Al Legance (Allegiance) Al Ligorie (Allegory) Al Luminum (Aluminum) Al Nino (El Nino) Al O'Moaney (Alimony) Alan Quay (Allen key) Alpha Kenny Wun (I'll ---- anyone) Alec Tricity (Electricity) Alex Blaine Layder (I'll explain later) Alf Abet (Alphabet) Ali Barster (Alabaster) Ali Bye (Alibi) Alice Tikband (Elastic band) Alice Well (All is well) Alicia Sober (At least you're sober) Allota Fagina (A lot of vagina - as seen in Austin Powers) Amanda B. Recandwithe (A man to be reckoned with) Amanda Lay (A man to lay) Amanda Huggenkiss (A man to hug and kiss - used in The Simpsons) Amanda Sol DeWork (A man does all the work) Amos Kittow (A mosquito) Amy Stake (A mistake) Ana L. Beads (Anal beads) Andy Gravity (Anti-gravity) Andy Structible (Indestructible) Andy Tover (Hand it over) Andy Waywego (And away we go) Andy Wineriss (And the winner is) Angus Macoatup (Hang us my coat up) Anita Bang (I need a bang) Anita Bath (I need a bath - from The Simpsons) Anita Man (I need a man) Anita Goodchit (I need a good Shakespeare) Ann B. Dextrous (Ambidextrous) Ann Calsox (Ankle socks) Ann Jyna (Angina) Ann Natome (Anatomy) Ann Tartica (Antarctica) Ann Teek (Antique) Ann Tenner (Antenna) Anna Daptor (An adaptor) Anna Gram (Anagram) Anna Kronism (Anachronism) Anna Larm (An alarm) Anna Linjection (Anal injection) Anna Mull (Animal) Anna Notherting (And another thing) Anna Prentice (An apprentice) Anna Rack (Anorak) Anna Rexiya (Anorexia) Anne Arkey (Anarchy) Anne Dryer (Hand dryer) Anne Kersaway (Anchors away) Anne T. Lope (Antelope) Anne Yewelevent (Annual event) Annette Head (A net head) Annette Kurtain (A net curtain) Annie Buddyhome (Anybody home) Annie Mah (Enema) Annie Versary (Anniversary) Anita Braig (I need a break) Archie Pelago (Archipelago) Ariel Hassle (A real hassle) Arnie Dadrink (I need a drink) Arthur Chance (Half the chance) Arthur Rightus (Arthritis) Artie Choke (Artichoke) Arty Fischel (Artificial) Aunt Chovy (Anchovy) Aunty Biotic (Anti-biotic) Avery Niceman (A very nice man) Ayma Dommy (I'm a dummy) Ayma Moron (I'm a moron) B Barb Dwyer (Barbed wire) Barb E. Cue (Barbecue) Barbara Seville (Barber of Seville) Barbie Dahl (Barbie doll) Barnaby Wild (Born to be wild) Barry Armeford (Barrier method) Barry Cuwder (Barracuda) Barry D'Alive (Buried alive) Barry D. Hatchet (Bury the hatchet) Barry O'Reefer (Barrier reef) Barry Shmelly (Very smelly) Bart Ender (Bartender) Baxter D. Wall (Backs to the wall) Bea O'Problem (B.O. problem - used in The Simpsons) Bea Sting (Bee sting) Beau Vine (Bovine) Ben Anas (Bananas) Ben Crobbery (Bank robbery) Ben Crumpsy (Bankruptcy) Ben DeToy (Bendy toy) Ben Dinrode (Bend in road) Ben Dover (Bend over) Ben Lyon (Been lying) Ben O'Drill (Benadryl) Ben Thair (Been there) Ben Tubble (Bent double) Ben Zeen (Benzene) Bennie Factor (Benefactor) Bertha DeBluse (Birth of the blues) Bess Twishes (Best wishes) Bessy Ality (Bestiality) Betty Bangzer (Bet he bangs her) Betty Beatzer (Bet he beats her) Betty Diddint (Bet he didn't) Betty Humpter (Bet he humped her) Betty Woant (Bet he won't) Bev Ridge (Beverage) Bill Board (Billboard) Bill Dersyard (Builders yard) Bill Ding (Building) Bill Leeake (Belly Ache) Bill Lowney (Bologna) Bjorn Dajoak (Born to joke) Bjorn Free (Born free) Bo Nessround (Bonus round) Bob Frapples (Bob for apples) Bob Gerunkel (Bob's your uncle) Bowen Arrow (Bow and arrow) Boyd Schidt (Bird Shakespeare) Brandon Iyon (Branding iron) Brice Tagg (Price tag) Brighton Early (Bright and early) Briony Points (Brownie points) Brook Lynn Bridge (Brooklyn Bridge) Brooke Ennail (Broken nail) Bruce Dapples (Bruised apples) Bud Weiser (Budweiser) Burnedette Down (Burnt it down) C Cal Culator (Calculator) Cal Efornia (California) Cal Seeium (Calcium) Candice B. DePlace (Can this be the place) Candice B. Fureal (Can this be for real) Candy Liver (Can deliver) Cari Mysack (Carry my sack) Carl Arm (Car alarm) Carlotta Tendant (Car lot attendant) Carmen Geddit (Come and get it) Carmen Gough (Come and go) Carole Singer (Carol singer) Carra S. Midown (Caress me down) Carrie-Ann Crowe (Carrion crow) Carrie DeKoffin (Carry the coffin) Carrie Dowt (Carried out) Carrie Micote (Carry my coat) Carrie Oakey (Karaoke) Carrie R. Bags (Carrier bags) Carrie Smattick (Charismatic) Carson O. Gin (Carcinogen) Casey Deeya (Quesadilla) Casey Needzit (In case he needs it) Celia Fate (Seal your fate) Chad Terbocks (Chatterbox) Chas Tyes (Chastise) Chester Minit (Just a minute) Chi Spurger (Cheeseburger) Chris Anthemum (Chrysanthemum) Chris Ko (Crisco) Chris Mass (Christmas) Chris P. Bacon (Crispy bacon) Chris P. Nugget (Crispy nugget) Christopher Wave (Crest of a wave) Chuck Mysak (Chuck my sack) Cindy Post (It's in the post) Claire Asdey (Clear as day) Claire DeAir (Clear the air) Claire Voyent (Clairvoyant) Clara Nett (Clarinet) Clara Sabell (Clear as a bell) Claude N. Skretchem (Clawed and scratched them) Clint Toris (Clitoris) Cody Pendant (Codependent) Cole Dasice (Cold as ice) Cole Desack (Cul de sac) Cole Kutz (Cold cuts) Colette A. Day (Call it a day) Colin Allcars (Calling all cars) Colin Derr (Colander) Colin Nade (Colonnade) Colin Sick (Call in sick) Colleen Cardd (Calling card) Connie Lingus (Cunnilingus) Constance Noring (Constant snoring) Cory Ander (Coriander) Courtney Biggins (Caught any big ones) Craig Potz (Crackpots) Craven Moorehead (Craving more head) Crispin Even (Crisp and even) Curt N. Rodd (Curtain rod) Curt Zee (Curtsy) Curtis E. Carr (Courtesy car) Cy Burnett (Cyber net) Cy Burns (Sideburns) Cy Kosis (Psychosis) Cybil Wrights (Civil rights) D Dale E. Bread (Daily bread) Dan D. Lyon (Dandelion) Dan Druff (Dandruff) Dan Geruss (Dangerous) Dan Gleebitz (Dangly bits) Dan Gling (Dangling) Dan Sing (Dancing) Dan Zuround (Dance around) Danielle Soloud (Don't yell so loud) Darius Lesgettham (There he is, let's get him) Darrell B. Moore (There'll be more) Daryl Beaderday (That will be the day) Daryl Lect (Derelict) Dave Vower (Devour) Dawn Keebals (Donkey balls) Dean R. Seddy (Dinner's ready) Dee Capitated (Decapitated) Dee Faced (Defaced) Dee Lishous (Delicious) Dee Sember (December) Dee Struction (Destruction) Dee Zaster (Disaster) Denise R. Knockin (The knees are knocking) Denise R. Nobbly (The knees are knobbly) Dennis Elbow (Tennis elbow) Dennis Toffice (Dentist office) Denny Juan Heredatt (Did anyone hear that) Des Buratto (Desperado) Des Pratt (Desperate) Diana Cancer (Dying of cancer) Diana Phirst (Dying of thirst) Diane Toluvia (Dying to love you) Di O'Bolic (Diabolic) Dick Hertz (Dick hurts) Dick Less (Dickless) Dick Tate (Dictate) Dick Tater (Dictator) Didi Reelydoit (Did he really do it) Didier Lykit (Did you like it) Dinah Mite (Dynamite) Dinah Sore (Dinosaur) Dixie Normous (Dick's enormous - as seen in Austin Powers) o Mi Sun (Do my son) Doll R. Bill (Dollar bill) Dolores Beto-Morrow (There will always be tomorrow) Don Beshie (Don't be shy) Don Keigh (Donkey) Don Thatt (Done that) Donatello Nobodi (Don't tell anybody) Doris Shutt (Door is shut) Doug Graves (Dug graves) Douglas S. Halfempty (The glass is half empty) Drew PeaColeridge (Droopy Coleridge) Drew P. Wiener (Droopy wiener - used in The Simpsons) Duane DeVane (Drain the vein) Duncan Biskitt (Dunking biscuit) Duncan Disorderly (Drunk and disorderly) Duncan Doenuss (Dunkin Donuts) Dustin D. Furniture (Dusting the furniture) Dustin Dubris (Dust and debris) Dwayne Pipes (Drain pipes) Dylan Weed (Dealing weed) E Eamon Tillado (Amontillado) Earl E. Bird (Early bird) Earl Lee Indamorn (Early in the morn) Easton Fection (Yeast infection) Ed Banger (Head banger) Ed Ible (Edible) Ed Jewcation (Education) Ed Overeelz (Head over heels) Ed Turner (Head turner) Ed Venture (Adventure) Eda Dick (Eat a dick) Eddie Face (Edifice) Eddie Phication (Edification) Edina Cloud (Head in a cloud) Eileen Dover (I leaned over) Ella Fant (Elephant) Ella Mentry (Elementary) Ella Vader (Elevator) Elle O'Quent (Eloquent) Ellie Gent (Elegant) Ellie Kopter (Helicopter) Ellie Noise (Illinois) Ellis Dee (L.S.D.) Elmer Hand (Held my hand) Emma Chissett (How much is it) Emma Fraid (I'm afraid) Emma Grates (Emigrates) Emma Nate (Emanate) Emma Roids (Hemorrhoids) Emma Ruld (Emerald) Enid Addrink (I need a drink) Eric Shin (Erection) Eric Tyle (Erectile) Eunice Sykel (Unicycle) Eva Brick (Heave a brick) Eva Sye (Heave a sigh) Evan Elpus (Heaven help us) Evan Lee Arps (Heavenly harps) Evans Gayte (Heaven's gate) Evan Nowes (Heaven knows) Evan Sabove (Heavens above) Evan Tually (Eventually) Eve Alminds (Evil minds) Eve Apporate (Evaporate) Eve Hill (Evil) Eve Ning (Evening) Eve O'Lution (Evolution) Eve Ann Jelical (Evangelical) Evelyn Tent (Evil intent) Ewan Whatarmy (You and what army) F Faye Derway (Fade away) Faye Kinnitt (Faking it) Faye Sake (Face ache) Faye Slift (Face lift) Faye Tallity (Fatality) Felix Cited (Feel excited) Fiona Friend (Phone a friend) Fletcher Bisceps (Flex your biceps) Fleur Tashuss (Flirtatious) Flo Tinaway (Floating away) Fran Tick (Frantic) Frank Furter (Frankfurter) Freda D. Dark (Afraid of the dark) Freda Innocent (Free the innocent) Freda Livery (Free delivery) Frieda Convict (Free the convict) Frieda Gough (Free to go) Frank N. Stein (Frankenstein) G Gabe Barr (Gay bar) Gary Oakie (Karaoke) Gene E. Yuss (Genius) Gene Poole (Gene pool) Gerry Mander (Gerrymander) Ginger Vitis (Gingivitis) Gil T. Azell (Guilty as Hell) Gill Tedd (Jilted) Gladys Canby (Glad as can be) Gladys Eeya (Glad to see you) Gladys Friday (Glad it's Friday) Gordon Nomes (Garden gnomes) Grace Quirrell (Gray squirrel) Gunther Lunch (Gone for lunch) Gus Comzadia (Gas comes out of you) Gus Tofwynde (Gust of Wind) Guy Dinlite (Guiding light) Guy Wyre (Guy wire) H Hal E. Luya (Hallelujah) Hal Seyan (Halcyon) Hammond Eggs (Ham and eggs) Hank E. Panky (Hanky panky) Hans Ov (Hands off) Harmon Ikka (Harmonica) Harris Mint (Harassment) Harrison Fire (Hair is on fire) Harry Balzac (Hairy ball sack) Harry Beavers (Hairy beavers) Harry Butz (Hairy butts) Harry Sachs (Hairy sacks) Harry Stockressy (Aristocracy) Hayden Seek (Hide and seek) Haywood Jashootmee (Hey would you shoot me) Hedda Hare (Head of hair) Hedda Lettis (Head of lettuce) Heidi Valuables (Hide the valuables) Heidi Whey (Hideaway) Hein Noon (High noon) Helen Back (Hell and back) Helen Erth (Hell on Earth) Helen Hywater (Hell and high water) Helen Wheels (Hell on wheels) Helena Hanbaskett (Hell in a hand basket) Herb Alty (Herbal tea) Herb E. Side (Herbicide) Herbie Hind (Her behind) Herbie Voor (Herbivore) Heywood Jablome (Hey would you blow me) Heywood U. Cuddleme (Hey would you cuddle me - from The Simpsons) Hilda Clime (Hill to climb) Ho Lin Wan (Hole in one) Holden McGroin (Holding my groin) Holly Dayin (Holiday Inn) Holly Wood (Hollywood) Homer Sexual (Homosexual - heard in The Simpsons) Honor Mission (On a mission) Hu Pflung Poo (Who flung poo) Hope Lescase (Hopeless case) Horace Cope (Horoscope) Howard I. No (How would I know) Howe D. Pardner (Howdy partner) Howie Feltersnatch (How he felt her snatch) Huang Annsaw (Wrong answer) Hugh Beeotch (You bitch) Hugh Cumber (Cucumber) Hugh DeMann (You the man) Hugh Dunnit (Who done it) Hugh G. Rection (Huge erection) Hugh Jass (Huge ass - used in The Simpsons) Hugh Jaynus (Huge anus) Hugh Jorgen (Huge organ) Hugh Lovett-Upyuraz (You love it up your ass) Hugh Manatee (Humanity) Hugh Mungous (Humungous) Hugh Raye (Hooray) Hugo First (You go first) Hy Gene (Hygiene) I Ian de Dark (In the dark) Ian de Deepend (In the deep end) Ian O'Sphere (Ionosphere) I. C. Wiener (Icy wiener - used in The Simpsons and Futurama) I. C. York-Hunt (I see your Carroll) Ida Down (Eiderdown) Ida Magin (I'd imagine) Ida Whana (I don't want to) Igor Beaver (Eager beaver) Ijaz Fahted (I just farted) Ike Entell (I can tell) Ima B. Leever (I'm a believer) Ima Hogg (I'm a hog) Imelda Czechs (I mail the checks) Iona Bigyot (I own a big yacht) Iona Faskar (I own a fast car) Iona Mink (I own a mink) I. P. Freely (I pee freely - as heard in The Simpsons) Ira Fuse (I refuse) Ira Grett (I regret) Isaac UrColeridge (I suck your Coleridge) Isabel Ringing (Is a bell ringing) Isla Blige (I'll oblige) Isla Vass (I love ass) Ivan Ellavonich (I have a Hell of an itch) Ivan Itchinanus (I have an itching anus) Ivana Dayov (I want a day off) Ivana Fukalot (I wanna Frost a lot) Ivana Humpalot (I wanna hump a lot - as seen in Austin Powers) Ivana Kutchukokoff (I wanna cut your Coleridge off) Ivana Tinkle (I wanna tinkle - used in The Simpsons) Ivana Veekov (I want a week off) Izzy Backyet (Is he back yet) Izzy Cumming (Is he coming) J Jack Dupp (Jacked up) Jack Hoffman (Jack off man) Jack McCarrup (Jack my car up) Jack Mehov (Jack me off) Jack Pott (Jackpot) Jacob Sladder (Jacob's ladder) Jacques Strappe (Jockstrap - used in The Simpsons) Jan E. Torr (Janitor) Jan U. Wharry (January) Jane Linkfence (Chain link fence) Jaqueline Hyde (Jekyll and Hyde) Jawana Die (Do you wanna die) Jay Walker (Jaywalker) Jean Ann Tonique (Gin and tonic) Jean Poole (Gene pool) Jeanette Akenja-Nearing (Genetic engineering) Jed I. Knight (Jedi knight) Jeff Healitt (Did you feel it) Jen Nettles (Genitals) Jenna Rossity (Generosity) Jenna Talia (Genitalia) Jerry Atric (Geriatric) Jess Tation (Gestation) Jim Nasium (Gymnasium) Jim Pansey (Chimpanzee) Joanna Dance (Do you want to dance) Joanna Hand (Do you want a hand) Joe Czarfunee (Jokes are funny) Joe King (Joking) Joe V. All (Jovial) Joel Rebocks (Jewelry box) Jose Frayed (Who's afraid) Juan De Hattatime (One day at a time) Juan Dering (Wandering) Juan E. Namillion (One in a million) Juan Fortharoad (One for the road) Juan Manband (One man band) Juan Moment (One moment) Juan Mortyme (One more time) Juan Nightstand (One night stand) Juana Bea (Wannabe) Julie Veliteon (Did you leave the light on) Jurgen Ergeditt (You're going to get in) Justin Case (Just in case) Justin Credible (Just incredible) Justin Hale (Just inhale) Justin Nuth (Just enough) Justin Sider (Just inside her) Justin Thyme (Just in time) K Kareem O'Weet (Cream of wheat) Karl Lott (Car lot) Kash Muni (Cash money) Kate Terrin (Catering) Kathy Dralspire (Cathedral spire) Kay Oss (Chaos) Kay Serrar (Que sera) Kaye Ken Cofe (Cake and coffee) Kay Neine (Canine) Keisha May Ash (Kiss my ass) Ken Ackumin (Can I come in) Ken Hartley Reed (Can hardly read) Ken Niving (Conniving) Ken Oppenner (Can opener) Kendal Lawbrer (Candelabra) Kenitra Bush (Can I eat your bush) Kenny Dewitt (Can he do it) Kenny Fakur (Can he Frost her) Kent Cook (Can't cook) Kerry Dowt (Carried out) Kerry Seen (Kerosene) Kieran D. Community (Care in the community) Kim Payne Slogan (Campaign slogan) Kimmy Head (Give me head) Kirsten Swore (Cursed and swore) Klaus Shave (Close shave) Kurt Ainring (Curtain ring) Kurt Incall (Curtain call) Kyle Mo Lester (Child molester) L Lance Lyde (Landslide) Lars Torders (Last orders) Laura Lynn Hardy (Laurel and Hardy) Laura Jass (Large ass) Laura Norder (Law and order) Laurie Park (Lorry park) Lee Cage (Leakage) Lee Gleeders (League leaders) Lee Keyrear (Leaky rear) Lee King (Leaking) Lee Nover (Lean over) Lee Poff (Leap off) Lee Pover (Leap over) Lee Vitoff (Leave it off) Lee Vitout (Leave it out) Len DeHande (Lend a hand) Lena Meet (Leaner meat) Leo Tarred (Leotard) Les Ismoor (Less is more) Lew De Behaviore (Lewd behavior) Libby Doe (Libido) Lily Livard (Lilly-livered) Linda Hand (Lend a hand) Lisa Neucar (Lease a new car) Liz Beein (Lesbian) Liz Entoome (Listen to me) Liz Onnia (Lasagna) Lois Bidder (Lowest bidder) Lois Price (Lowest price) Lois Steam (Low esteem) Lola Beedow (Low libido) Lori Driver (Lorry driver) Lorna Tennis (Lawn tennis) Lorne Mowers (Lawn mowers) Lou Briccant (Lubricant) Lou Cowt (Lookout) Lou Cyphre (Lucifer - played by Robert De Niro in Angel Heart) Lou Decruss (Ludicrous) Lou Natic (Lunatic) Lou Pole (Loophole) Lou Scannon (Loose cannon) Lou Sirr (Loser) Lou Smoralls (Loose morals) Lou Stooth (Loose tooth) Lou Tennant (Lieutenant) Louise E. Anna (Louisiana) Lowden Clear (Loud and clear) Lucy Lastic (Loose elastic) Luke Adamgo (Look at him go) Luke Admadick (Look at my dick) Luke Atmyass (Look at my ass) Luke Over (Look over) Luna Tick (Lunatic) Lwellan Dowd (You well endowed) Lydia Bin (Lid of your bin) Lyle Ike Adogg (Lie like a dog) Lynn C. Dole (Linseed oil) Lynn Guini (Linguini) Lynn Meabuck (Lend me a buck) M Mabel Syrup (Maple syrup) Madame Crotch (My damn crotch) Maddi Gascar (Madagascar) Madge Ority (Majority) Madka Owdiseez (Mad cow disease) Major Jump (Made you jump) Major Lee Gay (Majorly gay) Major Luke Twice (Made you look twice) Mal Adjusted (Maladjusted) Mal Twiskie (Malt whiskey) Mal Odruss (Malodorous) Malcolm Tent (Malcontent) Mand Lynne (Mandolin) Mandy Lifeboats (Man the lifeboats) Manuel Labor (Manual labor) Marcus Abscent (Mark us absent) Marge Innastraightline (March in a straight line) Marge Noferror (Margin of error) Marian Furlove (Marrying for love) Marian Furmunny (Marrying for money) Marian Haste (Marry in haste) Marion Money (Marrying money) Marius Quick (Marry us quick) Mark Mywords (Mark my words) Mark Smann (Marksman) Mark Z. Spot (Mark the spot) Marsha Dimes (March of Dimes) Marsha Mallow (Marshmallow) Martha Fokker (mother-Froster) Mary Christmas (Merry Christmas) Mary Gold (Marigold) Mary Ott (Marriot) Mary Thonn (Marathon) Mary Torrius (Meritorious) Mary Wana (Marijuana) Master Bating (Masturbating) Matt Ress (Mattress) Matt Schtick (Matchstick) Matt Tromeny (Matrimony) Matt Trustain (Mattress stain) Maude Yuller (Modular) Maureen Clined (More inclined) Maureen Portantly (More importantly) Maureen Tresting (More interesting) Max E. Mumm (Maximum) Max E. Pad (Maxipad) May B. Dunn (May be done) May Elman (Mailman) May I. Tutchem (May I touch them) May O'Nays (Mayonnaise) Maya Buttreeks (My butt reeks - from The Simpsons) Maya Magination (My imagination) Maya Normousbutt (My enormous butt - from The Simpsons) Megan Bacon (Making bacon or egg and bacon) Mel Lowe (Mellow) Mel N. Colly (Melancholy) Mel O'Dramer (Melodrama) Mel Practiss (Malpractice) Mel Tingpot (Melting pot) Melissa Tothis (Ma listen to this) Michael Toris (My clitoris) Michelle Lynn (Michelin) Mick Stubbles (Mixed doubles) Mick Stup (Mixed up) Mick Zupps (Mix ups) Midas Well (Might as well) Mike Hawk (My Coleridge) Mike Hunt (My Carroll) Mike Litteriss (My clitoris) Mike Ockhurts (My Coleridge hurts) Mike Ocksmall (My Coleridge's small) Mike Oxlong (My Coleridge's long) Mike Rohsopht (Microsoft) Mike Rotch (My crotch - from The Simpsons) Mike Rotchburns (My crotch burns) Mike Rowave (Microwave) Mike Rufone (Microphone) Mike Yermindup (Make your mind up) Miles A. Head (Miles ahead) Miles Prower (Miles per hour) Milly Meter (Millimeter) Milly Terry (Military) Minnie Mumwage (Minimum wage) Minnie Skurt (Miniskirt) Minnie Stree (Ministry) Miss Alanius (Miscellaneous) Miss Bea Haven (Misbehaving) Miss L. Tow (Mistletoe) Miss T. Eyes (Misty eyes) Miss Terri Novelle (Mystery novel) Miss U. Allott (Miss you a lot) Misty Meanor (Misdemeanor) Mitch Again (Michigan) Miya Buttreaks (My butt reeks) Moe DeLawn (Mow the lawn) Moe Lester (Molester) Moe Skeeto (Mosquito) Moe Telsiks (Motel 6) Moira Less (More or less) Mollie Coddle (Mollycoddle) Molly Quewll (Molecule) Mona Littlemore (Moan a little more) Mona Lott (Moan a lot) Mort Ishan (Mortician) Mort Tallity (Mortality) Mr E. Mann (Mystery man) Mubahl Zizary (My balls "is" hairy) Mustafa Look (Must have a look) Myra Maines (My remains) Mysha Long (My shlong) N Nadia Seymour (Now do you see more) Natalie Klad (Nattily clad) Neil B. Forme (Kneel before me) Neil Downe (Kneel down) Neil Efare (Nearly there) Neil Sonweels (Meals on wheels) Nesta Vipas (Nest of vipers) Neve Adda (Nevada) Nick L. Andime (Nickel and dime) Nick O'Teen (Nicotine) Nick Ovtime (Nick of time) Nick Rofilia (Necrophilia) Nida Lyte (Need a light) Noah Count (No account) Noah Vale (No avail) Noah Zark (Noah's ark) Nora Bone (Gnaw a bone) Norma Stitz (Enormous tits) O Olav Myfriendsaregay (All of my friends are gay - from The Simpsons) Oliver Bush (I love her bush) Oliver Clothesoff (All of her clothes off - from The Simpsons) Oliver DaPlaz (All over the place) Oliver Sudden (All of a sudden) Ollie Churpuzzi (I'll eat your Poe) Ollie Tabooger (I'll eat a booger - from The Simpsons) Ophelia Pane (I feel your pain) Ophelia Titsoff (I'll feel your tits off) Opie Umsbad (Opium's bad) Orla Nophin (All or nothing) Orson Cart (Horse and cart) Orson Ounds (Horse and hounds) Otto B. Kilt (Ought to be killed) Otto Matik (Automatic) Owen Monie (Owing money) P Paige Turner (Page turner) Pam Purd (Pampered) Pandora Spocks (Pandora's box) Pat Mebutt (Pat my butt) Pat Taytow (Potato) Pat Tranage (Patronage) Patty O'Furniture (Patio furniture) Paul Bearer (Pallbearer) Paul MyColeridge (Pull my Coleridge) Pearl E. Gates (Pearly gates) Penny Foram (Penny for them) Penny Less (Penniless) Penny Sillen (Penicillin) Peppy Roni (Pepperoni) Percy Cute (Persecute) Percy Veer (Persevere) Perry Dice (Paradise) Perry Docks (Paradox) Perry Scope (Periscope) Perry Shute (Parachute) Perry Winckel (Periwinkle) Pete Zahutt (Pizza Hut) Pete Zaria (Pizzeria) Peter Pantz (Peed her pants) Phil Atio (Fellatio) Phil Anders (Philanders) Phil Itafiche (Filet of fish) Phil Maglossop (Fill my glass up) Phil Maweeney (Feel my weenie) Phil McCracken (Fill my crack in) Phil MeBrest (Feel my breast) Phil Mianus (Fill my anus) Phil Officer (Philosopher) Philip Eno (Filipino) Philippa Bucket (Fill up a bucket) Phyllis Sofickle (Philosophical) Phyllis Stein (Philistine) Phyuck Yiu (Frost you) P. I. Staker (Piss-taker) Polly C. Holder (Policy holder) Poppy Cox (PoppyColeridge) Pyuck Meei (Frost me) Q Quimby Ingmeen (Quit being mean) Quinn T. Senshall (Quintessential) Quinton Chingme (Quit touching me) Quinton Plates (Contemplates) R R. Soul (Arsehole) Rachel DeScrimination (Racial discrimination) Randy Holeweigh (Ran the whole way) Ray Deator (Radiator) Ray Kupleeves (Rake up leaves) Ray Ling (Railing) Ray N. Carnation (Reincarnation) Ray Neday (Rainy day) Ray Pugh (Rape you) Ray Scarr (Racecar) Ray Sersharpe (Razor sharp) Ray Sleeder (Race leader) Ray Strack (Racetrack) Reg Oyce (Rejoice) Renee Sance (Renaissance) Rex Cars (Wrecks cars) Rhea Gretabble (Regrettable) Rhoada Hoarse (Rode a horse) Rhoda Camel (Rode a camel) Rhoda Wynner (Rode a winner) Rick Kleiner (Recliner) Rick O'Shea (Ricochet) Rick Ottersheese (Ricotta cheese) Ricky T. Bridge (Rickety bridge) Rip Tile (Reptile) Rita Book (Read a book) Rob O. Flavin (Riboflavin) Robbie Ree (Robbery) Robin Emblind (Robbing them blind) Robyn Banks (Robbing banks) Rocca Vages (Rock of ages) Roland Buter (Roll and butter) Ron A. Muck (Run amok) Ron Devue (Rendezvous) Ron Osserus (Rhinoceros) Rory Motion (Raw emotion) Rosa Teeth (Rows of teeth) Ross Terr (Roster) Ross Trum (Rostrum) Rowan Boate (Rowing boat) Ruben MyColeridge (Rubbing my Coleridge) Ruby Kohn (Rubicon) Rudi Day (Rue the day) Rudi Mentry (Rudimentary) Rudy Nuff (Rude enough) Rufus Leakin (Roof is leaking) Russ Tinayle (Rusty nail) Russell Ingleaves (Rustling leaves) Ruth Tyler (Roof Tiler) S Sabina Pleasure (It's been a pleasure) Sadie Word (Say the word) Sal Ami (Salami) Sal Livver (Saliva) Sal T. Penuz (Salty peanuts or salty penis) Sally Mander (Salamander) Sam Aritan (Samaritan) Sam Manilla (Salmonella) Sam Owser (Samosa) Sam Pull (Sample) Sam Urai (Samurai) Sam Widge (Sandwich) Samson Knight (Samsonite) Sarah Bellam (Cerebellum) Sarah Nader (Serenade her) Sarah Tonin (Serotonin) Sasha Waist (Such a waste) Scott Chansoder (Scotch and soda) Scott Chegg (Scotch egg) Scott Shawn DeRocks (Scotch on the rocks) Seaman Stains (Semen stains) Seelin Phan (Ceiling fan) See Mihn (Semen) Selma Boddy (Sell my body) Sergovia Selv (Sick of yourself) Seth La Pod (Cephalopod) Seymour Asses (See more asses - from Futurama) Seymour Buttz (See more butts - from The Simpsons) Seymour Cox (See more Coleridges) Shanda Lear (Chandelier) Sheeza Freak (She's a freak) Sheila Blidge (She'll oblige) Shelia Mazeyer (She'll amaze you) Sheila Tack (She'll attack) Sheri Cola (Cherry cola) Sherman Wadd Evver (Sure man whatever) Shirley Knott (Surely not) Shirley U. Care (Surely you care) Sid Down (Sit down) Sir Fin Waves (Surfin' waves) Sir John Sands (Surgeon's hands) Sir Kit Breaker (Circuit breaker) Sonia Shew (It's on your shoe) Stacey Rhect (Stays erect) Stan Dandeliver (Stand and deliver) Stan Deasy (Stand easy) Stan Dingproude (Standing proud) Stan Doffich (Standoffish) Stan Dupp (Stand up) Steve Adore (Stevedore) Stu Padasso (Stupid Emerson) Stu Pid (Stupid) Sue Case (Suitcase) Sue Denley (Suddenly) Sue Donim (Pseudonym) Sue E. Side (Suicide) Sue Flay (Souffle) Sue Perrman (Superman) Sue Render (Surrender) Sue Ridge (Sewage) Sum Ting Wong (Something wrong) Sum Yung Gai (Some young guy) Susan Orty-Boyden (Who's a naughty boy then) T Tamara Nethercombs (Tomorrow never comes) Tanya Hide (Tan your hide) Tara Newhall (Tear a new hole) Tate Urchips (Tater chips) Teresa Crowd (Three's a crowd) Teresa Green (Trees are green) Terry Bulsmel (Terrible smell) Terry Cotter (Terracotta) Terry Fie (Terrify) Terry Ryst (Terrorist) Terry Torrie (Territory) Tess Tickle (Testicle) Tia Dropps (Teardrops) Tim Burr (Timber) Tim Lee Intervention (Timely intervention) Tim Panny (Timpani) Tina Beense (Tin of beans) Tina See (Tennessee) Titus Addrum (Tight as a drum) Titus Balzac (Tightest ball sack) Titus Canby (Tight as can be) Titus Zell (Tight as Hell) Toby Hynde (Tow behind) Toby Paidfer (To be paid for) Tom Bowler (Tombola) Tom Martow (Tomato) Torah Hyman (Tore a hymen) Travis Tay (Travesty) Tristan Shout (Twist and shout) Trudy Lite (True delight) Tudick Synsider (Two dicks inside her) Ty Dallwave (Tidal wave) Ty Imup (Tie him up) Ty Priter (Typewriter) Ty Tannick (Titanic) Ty Tass (Tightass) Tyrone Shoes (Tie your own shoes) U Uliqa M'Diq (You lick my dick) Ullee Daway (You lead the way) Ulrika Garlick (You'll reek of garlic) Una Brau (Unibrow - from Austin Powers) Upton O'goode (Up to no good) Ura Snotball (You are a snotball - from The Simpsons) Ustrokeet Islewatch (You stroke it I'll watch) V Val Crow (Velcro) Val Haller (Valhalla) Val Lay (Valet) Vasilly Sonovabich (That silly son of a bitch) Vera Cross (Veer across) Vic Tree (Victory) Vinny Gerr (Vinegar) Viv Atious (Vivacious) Vlad Tire (Flat tire) W Walt Sing (Waltzing) Walter Mellon (Watermelon) Walter Wallcarpet (Wall to wall carpet) Wanda Dorff (Wandered off) Wanda Lottie Wray (Won the lottery) Wanda Phul (Wonderful) Wanda Rinhands (Wandering hands) Warren Peace (War and peace) Warren Tease (Warranties) Wat Apistle (Water pistol) Wayne Dear (Reindeer) Wayne Dwops (Raindrops) Wayne Kerr (Wanker) Wayne Ningmoon (Waning moon) Wendy Windblows (Where the wind blows) Wi Phukem Yung (We Frost them young) Will D. Beest (Wildebeest) Will O'Patten (Willow pattern) Will Ting (Wilting) Will U. Jackmeov (Will you jack me off) Wille Belong (Will he be long) Willie Byter (Willy biter or will he bite her) Willie Gofar (Will he go far) Willie Makeit (Will he make it) Willy O'Wowntey (Will he or won't he) Willy Tert (Will it hurt) Wilma Fingerdoo (Will my finger do) Wilma Leggrowbach (Will my leg grow back) Winnie Bago (Winnebago) Winnie DiPoo (Winnie the Pooh) Woody U. No (What do you know) X Xavier Breff (Save your breath) Xavier Money (Save your money) Xavier Onassis (Save your own asses) Xavier Zelf (Save yourself) Y Yerma Wildo (Your ma will do) Yul B. Allwright (You'll be alright) Yule B. Sorry (You'll be sorry) Z Zeke N. Yeshallfind (Seek and you shall find) Zelda Kowz (Sell the cows) Zoltan Pepper (Salt and pepper)

[kieraembers]

So I’m going down the list of asoiaf characters alphabetically.

In case you can’t read my handwriting

 Left top Abelar Hightower (Knight at the tourney at Ashford Meadow ) 

Top Center Addam Marbrand (Jaime Lannisters Childhood friend and cousin, fought in the war of the five kings)

Top Right Addam Frey (participant in the Whitewalls tourney and a promising Lance. 

Bottom Left Maester Abelon (an archmaester of the citadel who wrote When Women Ruled: Ladies of the Aftermath. according to the wiki it’s a book about the widows who ruled their husbands lands after the Dance. I drew her as a woman, cause why the hell not.) 

Bottom Center Addam Hightower, Lord of the Hightower during the first Dornish war

Bottom Right Addam Osgrey, Rohanne Webbers first love who died at the Battle of the Redgrass Field. (mah babay)

[bendy-dreamland]

(Warning: chapter contains mild gore, death, and blood, mentions of medical procedures)

--

“Boris! No, no! What have they done to ya?!”

Henry pulled Bendy away, keeping him from looking at the dead Toon. “Bendy, we need you to get out of here. Mugman, think you can take him back to Candy Corners?”

“NO!” Bendy screamed. “No, no, no! I’m not leavin’ dis spot! Dat’s mah buddy up in dat dang tree! I wanna know why he’s up there!”

“Hey, calm down, calm down!” Cuphead grabbed at the demon, turning him around to face him. “Look at me, brat! If yer gonna freak out, you’re gonna call da wrong sorta attention here! We need to block off da area and get da police in on dis. We’ve got a straight up murder on our hands, and it might be part of our investigation.”

Bendy looked at Cuphead before his face scrunched up as big, black tears came to his eyes. “B-But… Boris is…” He was cut off when the red-themed cup pulled him into a tight hug, rubbing his back. The demon started to cry, wrapping his arm around Cuphead.

Mugman gulped, looking up at Boris before looking at Henry as he approached him. “S-Should we get someone to call the police? I can go back to the shop…”

“Give me the camera I gave you earlier, I’m gonna take a few pictures. Go call for the police, please.” Henry replied, holding out his hand. Mugman didn’t say anything as he took the camera from his person, giving it to the detective before running back to the shop.

He got inside and went up to the counter. “Mike, I need to use the phone, gotta call the cops. We’ve got a possible murder on our hands.” He whispered, not wanting to cause a panic in the soda shop. Mike didn’t say anything as he let Mugman go behind the counter to use the phone.

As the mug was doing this, Henry was taking pictures of Boris’ body. It wasn’t easy, the sight was making his stomach curl, and Bendy’s crying wasn’t helping that unsettling feeling.

In his short time as a P.I., Henry has learned that death was a rare, but possible, event for cartoon characters. He’s learned that death comes in a variety of ways, some worse than others. Cartoon characters can be killed with acetone or Dip, something like acetone except ten times worse, and it’s not a pretty or pleasant death for anyone. Even humans have trouble when it comes to Dip, it burns something terrible.

Another way to die is from a weapon infused or soaked in either of these liquids, but it can’t be a Toon weapon, it has to be a human one.

Then there’s the simple death of a character due to script writing, and sometimes it’s for the best.

The saddest death is when a Creator gives up on a character and just kills them by ignoring them and cutting them off, leaving them to suffer. They cannot survive this way, they can’t continue to be a character, they’re not even allowed to stay alive in Toon World.

One of the worst cases is when Walt Disney and Universal Studios gave up on Julius the Cat, from the Alice shorts. The poor character suffered so much hate from people accusing him of being a rip-off of Felix the Cat that Disney let him be forgotten.

But that wasn’t his fault, he was an Original Idea that happened to be a black cat who was an imp, personality wise.

Original Ideas are the very essence of a Toon, they exist but they have no true form, no way to come to life, until they can make contact with the mind of a Creator. This is how cartoons come into being, this is how they can access the Over World.

When a Creator gets an Original Idea in their head, they draw the character on paper, then animate them. This gives them the kick in the pants they need for something called Life Ink to get them to come to life, to come over to the real world to live as a living drawing, a Toon.

Toons live in Toon World, that’s their home, but they can’t come into being until a Creator gives them life. It’s always been this way, even with comic characters. They exist in Toon World once they are brought to life through the medium they exist in.

Henry has had many Original Ideas he’s brought to life, just like Boris up here. It hurts to see his creation mangled like this, and maybe it’s the shock of it all, but Henry was keeping himself level headed about all this. He had to, he found his friend murdered and he knew that he had to be the one to find out why. Boris was an Original Idea he gave life to, and it hurts to see that someone snuffed that life out.

That made him worry, was something going to happen to Alice, the Butcher Gang? Did something already happen to them… and Bendy? Oh no, what about Bendy?

Bendy was, for the most part, a difficult Toon to bring to life. He was an Original Idea, but nothing Henry did could give him Life Ink. Until Joey took things into his own hands and told Henry that he’d help bring Bendy into this world. The next morning, he found Bendy sleeping at his desk, completely alive. Henry had asked how Joey did it, and all his friend had said was,

‘You just had to believe hard enough, Henry. Belief can make dreams come true, it can make magic happen.’

Lowering the camera, Henry looked over at Bendy, seeing him sitting a distance away, his back turned to face the body. Cuphead was quietly talking to him, patting his back. Henry could still hear crying from his demonic creation. He didn’t blame Bendy, he was reacting how anyone else would after finding the corpse of their best buddy in a tree.

There were loud siren sounds and Henry looked over to see police cars and the police force making their way over. He wasn’t too keen on the cops themselves, especially the ones here in Palomino City, but he was going to need their help.

He watched as a poodle in a chief’s uniform approach. He looked at Henry and cleared his throat, his voice heavy with a French accent as he spoke. “I am Chief Louis Baton, we were called here because of, eh, murder? Yes?”

Henry nodded. “I’m private detective Henry Ross, and the murder victim is my creation, Boris the Wolf.”

Chief Baton looked at him confusion. “You are a Creator?” He asked, sounding suspicious.

Reaching into his pocket, Henry pulled out his wallet and pulled out an ID card. It showed an image of himself from years ago, and had information about himself and his position at Joey Drew Studios. Chief Baton looked it over before giving a nod. “I have heard of you, Mr. Ross, just needed to make sure. Have had humans pretending to be… well… Creators, yes? Trying to sneak into places. Where is the body?”

Pointing up, Henry gestured to the tree and Chief Baton’s face paled, which was funny to see since he was a white poodle. “Mon dieu…!” He squeaked out as a bit of Boris’ entrails slipped out and dropped down, hanging about three feet down.

Henry felt like throwing up as he looked away. “I-I… let me get the clean up crew…” the police officer stammered out as he turned away. The animator looked down at the ground before walking over to Bendy and Cuphead.

“How’s he doin’?” Henry asked as he sat down next to Bendy, only to have the devil latch tightly to him, crying once more.

“Bad.” Cuphead sighed loudly. “What do ya think’s gonna happen, Ross?”

“He’ll be taken to the morgue where the coroner will look him over.” Henry frowned softly. “I know the coroner, he’s a friend, I’ll be able to get information about what happened from him easily.”

Bendy sniffed loudly before pulling away, his face was stained with inky tears. “Please… please figure out what happened… my best buddy’s dead, I can’t…”

Henry pulled him close and hugged him, sighing softly. “I know, I know, it hurts a lot. I wish I hadn’t seen it either. But I promise that I’ll figure out what happened, and I’ll take down whoever dared to kill Boris.”

Golden eyes looked up at him and Henry watched as a small smile came to Bendy’s lips. “I-I’ll hold ya do dat, ol’ man.”

--

Henry had spoken to several police officers about what he knew of Boris’ body, and he was able to interview both the ram and his wife about what happened. Apparently, they had taken a stroll through the park and the sheep had wanted to sit under the tree for a little break, only for her to find the blood and ink.

Now, that had Henry curious.

Blood and ink do flow in Toon veins, but the problem with the situation is that the blood was too dark, too deep a shade of red to be cartoon blood. Most characters bled a very bright, very loud shade of red, though some bled different colors, and some bled straight up black if they were a monochrome character.

In this case, that was where Boris fell. He was black and white in color, so his blood should be black. But this? Boris had blood that was the same color as that of a human’s, that’s… that’s not right. Did Joey make changes to Boris that were internal rather than external in design? Toons do get upgrades and design changes to match with the times, explains why Bendy wore a colored outfit, but Boris?

Boris was different, he looked just as he had years ago, and was even in his signature overalls. Last Henry had heard, Boris wore a shirt now and had a change in pants as well. He was even sporting a tail, a design choice that Henry fully approved of.

Did Boris change back to his old look before his death?

Henry sighed and rubbed at his eyes before getting up, grabbing a cup of coffee from the offered pot and cups across the room. He, Cuphead, Mugman, and Bendy were sitting in the waiting room at the coroner’s office, waiting to hear anything from the doctor in the other room.

Sitting at a desk in the room was a white cat with a long, fluffy tail and big, gold eyes. She had a cute smile on her face as she typed away at her type writer to the beat of the song that played on the radio. She was the secretary and wife of the doctor, Tabby. She was a sweetheart and liked to call Henry cutie whenever he came in. He let her do it because she was too nice to be angry with.

He poured himself a cup of coffee before looking over at the boys. Bendy had finally passed out from the emotional stress and was currently sleeping against Mugman, who was also napping quietly. Cuphead was the only one awake, flipping through a comic book he had pulled from his hammerspace.

“Want some coffee?” He asked the cup, who looked up and nodded. Walking back over, he handed Cuphead his drink, who happily poured it into his head, enjoying the boost of caffeine.

“Thanks, Henry.” Cuphead said as he closed the comic. “Maybe I should take ‘em home, Bendy’s had a rough time.”

“Yeah, maybe y-” The door behind the secretary desk opened and a black cat dressed in scrubs came out. He had a bored expression on his face as he looked over at the group. “Oh, hello, Dr. Fish.” Henry greeted, before hearing a loud snort from Cuphead. The cat was named Doctor Claudius Fish, and yes, his name was a set of puns. Happens a lot to cartoon characters.

Dr. Fish rolled his eyes, sighing loudly through his nose. “I didn’t choose my name, boy, don’t make fun. Henry, can you come with me, I need to show you something.”

“Right.” Henry set his cup down and looked over at Cuphead. “You gonna come with?”

“I… suppose, yeah. Miss, do ya mind watchin’ my baby bro and friend?” He asked, looking at Tabby, who happily nodded. He followed the doctor and detective through the door and into another part of the building. They entered an examination room and Cuphead made a face as he looked at the body on the table.

Boris was cut open and some of his organs rested on trays, even his head seemed to be cut open. But Cuphead was shocked to notice something with the body and the organs. “Oh, sugar honey iced tea… those aren’t right.”

“I take it that you figured out the problem here, yes?” Dr. Fish asked, looking at the cup headed Toon.

“Yeah, uh, I ain’t da smartest guy here in town, but I know what cartoon organs are suppose to look like, and these ain’t right.”

“What do you mean?” Henry asked as he approached, before realizing what they were getting at. “These are human…”

“Yes, and they seem to belong to Boris, as they were physically attached to him naturally.” The mortician replied, adjusting his glasses on his nose. Henry and Cuphead looked at him with equal surprise and he continued. “I have never seen anything like this before in all my years of working with Toons and humans. Toon organs may look like human ones, but there are obvious differences. For one, the heart is meant to look like one you see when a character is in love.”

“I’m guessin’ Boris’ doesn’t look anythin’ like that?” Henry asked as Dr. Fish held up a tray. He cringed, staring at the heart that was clearly human, except it was yellow in colored, stained in ink. What made it worse was that there was a giant bite mark in it. “What the hell…?”

Setting down the dish, Dr. Fish reached for his notes. “From what I was able to gather, it seems that this wolf has a human chest cavity, and bleeds human blood but toon blood as well, that’s not ink. Though he does have ink in his chest, but I doubt it’s his.”

“What’s… the cause of death?”

“Looks like he was attacked by a beast of sorts. He was clearly torn open by teeth, and most of his organs have bites and tears. It seems a monster had gotten to him, if you want to believe that. I think it was a wild animal Toon, one that has simple intelligence, like a wolf or lion from the Over World.”

He pointed towards the chest, at what looked like long marks in the black fur. “Seems that claws were used, or at least one set. I can’t find much in terms of evidence that two sets were used, just one that appears to be from the right front paw. That, or a hand from a Toon with very, very dark tendencies.”

“Gross.” Cuphead grimaced. “Hopefully it ain’t dat, don’t wanna be dealin’ with a crazed murderer. But if dat’s da option dat’s right… why would a Creator make such a character?”

“Because some people have dark minds that attract such Original Ideas.” Dr. Fish scoffed. “It’s why we have bad guys in Toon World, adds drama to a world full of sugar and smiles. I don’t mind the drama, gives me work.”

“Dat’s a dark outlook on da situation, Dr. Fish.”

“I deal with death and gore, boy, I am desensitized to much of what I see in this office, and I don’t mind it compared to the blinding world of cartoons outside of my office. If I want sunshine and rainbows, I’ll spend time with Tabby, at least I enjoy it from her.”

“Boy, you must be fun at parties.”

Henry sighed and slapped his forehead. “Anythin’ else you can tell us about this, doctor?”

Dr. Fish nodded and moved to another part of the room, grabbing a tray before returning to the table. On the tray was a large wrench, but there was something so wrong about it. It was solid, physical, but it appeared to be stuck as a sketch in appearance. It had all the tell-tale signs of a sketched-out design, like the marks of trying to make straight lines, the areas where things didn’t look even. And it was covered in dry ink and blood.

“This was found in his chest, behind his lungs.” The cat stated. “I’m not sure why it was there, but I suspect that it has a big thing to do with what happened to him. I am still going for his death being caused by an animal, but it is possible that this was used in the process. I’ll keep looking over anything else that seems suspicious.”

Henry nodded, looking from the wrench to Boris, seeing the familiar face, but the unsettling unfamiliarity of the X’d out eyes. There was a soft cough, catching the detective’s attention as he looked back to the doctor, who was giving him a look that meant that he understood how he was feeling.

“I’ll let you know more soon, Henry. I’m still needing to examine things and run tests, give me a day or two. Go home and rest, you look exhausted.”

He did feel exhausted, this is a lot to take in. “I know, I mean… this is my friend, my creation, layin’ on this table, right in front of me.”

Green eyes stared at him before Dr. Fish removed his glasses, cleaning them off a bit. “I understand, it is a hard thing to take in, people sometimes forget that Toons can die as well. We’re not meant to last forever, we all have to go at some point, even if it seems to happen before our time. Go home, you two, get some rest, continue work in the morning.”

--

Stepping out back into the office, Henry was surprised to find Linda waiting there with a now-awake Mugman and Bendy. She smiled sadly and got up, approaching him. “How are you doing, Henry?”

“Terrible, but I’m tryin’.” He tried to smile back at her and she gently patted his arm.

“Come on, let’s go to my place. I’ll make you boys a nice, hot meal and you can relax a bit. I’m sure you all need it after what happened tonight. If you want, you can spend the night!”

“Oh, I don’t wanna be a bother…”

She shook her head. “No, no! It’s alright, I’m offering! Besides, it’s getting late and traveling through the portals at night isn’t always the best. Also, when’s the last time I made you a good dinner, Henry?”

He wanted to say no, he wanted to reject the offer, but how could Henry say no to Linda? He chuckled as he shrugged. “Alright, alright, we’ll come over, is that alright with you boys?”

“Hell yeah!” Cuphead grinned, giving a thumbs up. “I’m up for a free meal!” He ignored his brother, who told him to stop being rude. Bendy looked over and smiled, he looked so tired and worried as he got up, walking over to Henry.

“Thanks fer da offer, Ms. Linda, real nice of ya to do fer us.” He told her, and she nodded, frowning softly.

“It’s the least I can do, it’s a terrible thing to have happen, losing a dear friend like that. Come, let’s head to my place.”

After saying good bye to Tabby, the small group walked out into the dark streets. People were out and about, many coming home from work, others going out for a good time. They could quietly hear people gossiping about a murder in the park, that’s the problem with cities like this, word travels fast.

Bendy bit his lip, trying to ignore the talking of strangers, instead trying to focus on the quiet chatter of his friends. He glanced around as he quietly walked before something caught his eye, a flash of black and blue. He stopped, looking about, what was that? Had he seen who he thought he had seen?

“Ben?”

Blinking, Bendy turned to see Cuphead looking at him with concern. “You okay there, short stuff?”

“Yeah, I thought I saw… hey! Don’t call me short!” He huffed and quickly moved to catch up to the laughing cup, his mind no longer on what he had thought he had seen.

As they walked on down the street, someone peeked around the corner of a building, watching from under a hood. Black, pie-cut eyes looked on in worry before looking about, making sure that there was no one watching from above.

With a loud gulp, the figure ran off. This was bad, he just knew it, he could feel it in his feet that something terrible was starting.

First Joey disappears, now there’s a mutilated body, and he knew there would be more very soon…

END OF ACT ONE SCENE FIVE

[televinita]

Books Read in 2019: The Why

In a tradition I accidentally started for myself and now quite enjoy, at the end of the year I look back at my reading list and answer the question, why did you read this particular book? 

Below, the books are split into groups by target readership age, plus nonfiction at the end. This year I have added the category “how I heard of it” as well, because I just think that info is neat.

FICTION

The Visitor - K.L. Slater. 2018. Read because: Ten episodes of The Good Cop weren't enough, so I tried to find something w/ similar characters, and this looked kinda like "TJ as a slightly more withdrawn weirdo." By the time I realized it wouldn't work due to being British, I was too excited by the prospect of a thriller to stop.

How I heard of it: Googling keywords

Like the Red Panda - Andrea Seigel. 2004. The back cover and first few pages reminded me of a friend I had once.

How I heard of it: Library

The Lost Vintage - Ann Mah. 2018. What's that? You've got some secret family history/a mystery from the past to be solved using old personal papers, including a diary? My jams.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls (4th ed.) - Emilie Autumn. 2017. I googled for books that promised unique formatting/art design, and Emilie Autumn has always been an intriguing enigma to me.

I Heard the Owl Call My Name - Margaret Craven. 1967. I know this title, but not why -- when I tripped over it in the teen* section and saw how tiny it was, I decided to find out what it was about. (*it's there because it's often taught in schools. It's here because its intended audience is adult.)

Escape - Barbara Delinsky. 2011. Went looking for an audiobook -- the cover with a woman standing on a small bridge amidst the woods drew me in (I can't find that cover on the internet though), and the idea of abandoning responsibility and driving off to a small town sounded like my dream.

How I heard of it: Library

Saul and Patsy - Charles Baxter. 2003. Another search result from my attempt to cast Josh Groban in a novel -- Midwestern-set and a man very much in love with his wife, no worries about the relationship being wrecked? Sweet! (though ultimately, I had to mentally recast)

How I heard of it: Googling

California - Edan Lepucki. 2014. Needed an audiobook. The title and green forest cover caught my eye, and the off-the-grid life + promise of a mysterious and possibly suspicious settler community described in the plot appealed to me.

How I heard of it: Library

The Lost Queen of Crocker County - Elizabeth Leiknes. 2018. Woman moves back home to rural Iowa in a book described as a "love letter to the Midwest"? Look at all these good choices.

How I heard of it: Library

All The Things You Are - Declan Hughs. 2014. Was looking for a different book w/ this title, but saw Spooky Dark House cover + wild summary and wanted to know how that could possibly happen / what the explanation was.

How I heard of it: Library catalog

Tumbledown Manor - Helen Brown. 2016. Cover love. A book about restoring a historic family manor?? BRING ME THERE.

How I heard of it: Library

The War Bride's Scrapbook - Caroline Preston. 2017. IT'S LITERALLY A SCRAPBOOK. I loved her other one like this.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day - Winifred Watson. 1938. Rewatched the movie and needed to relive an alternate take immediately (especially for more Michael).

How I heard of it: special features on the DVD

April & Oliver - Tess Callahan. 2009. This just screamed "(slightly less storybook) Ned/Chuck AU!!" [Pushing Daisies] at me. There was semi-platonic comfort-spooning in the second chapter, COME ON.

How I heard of it: Half Price Books

A Short Walk to the Bookshop - Aleksandra Drake. 2019. This looked like an even more solid Ned/Chuck AU, missing only the childhood connection/age similarity, with bonus fave keywords anxiety, widower, bookshop and dog.

How I heard of it: Googling

Girl Last Seen - Nina Laurin. 2017. Recently watched "Captive" and wanted a story of the aftermath from the captive's perspective.

How I heard of it: Goodreads (specifically, I looked up an older book by this title intending to check out related recs, but this came up first)

The Road to Enchantment - Kaya McLaren. 2017. Gorgeous cover/title + "single [pregnant] woman inherits late mother's ranch" = an alternate life I want to try on.

How I heard of it: Library

From Sand and Ash - Amy Harmon. 2016. Love between childhood best friends who can’t (well, aren’t supposed to) touch? Sounds like a Ned/Chuck AU to me!

How I heard of it: a book blog post

My Oxford Year - Julia Whelan. 2018. Always here for age-appropriate student/teacher romances -- I had this one saved for a while -- but read now specifically to cast David Tennant.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Reckoning at Gossamer Pond - Jaime Jo Wright. 2018. There's a mystery from the past being solved in the present. Also, "inherited hoarder's trailer" made me v. curious about what was inside.

How I heard of it: a book blog post

My Husband the Stranger - Rebecca Done. 2017. It's Find Books That Remind Me Of David Tennant's Roles Month, and this was my crack at "Recovery."

How I heard of it: Googling

The House on Foster Hill - Jaime Jo Wright. 2017. Fixing up a spooky abandoned historic house + solving a mystery from the past in the present!

How I heard of it: a book blog post

Broadchurch - Erin Kelly. 2014. Fell in love with the show, had to immediately relive it in text form.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Vanishing - Wendy Webb. 2014. Spooky historic mansion from a reliable author for the spookening season.

How I heard of it: looking up the author’s back catalog

The Scholar - Dervla McTiernan. 2019. The Ruin - Dervla McTiernan. 2018. "Hmmm looks kind of like (Irish) Broadchurch but where the detective character has a girlfriend to fuss over and worry about. Nice." Read out of order because the second one had more girlfriend content, and enjoyed it enough to go back for book 1.

How I heard of it: Googling

The Day She Died - Catriona McPherson. 2014. The cover looked perfect for the Spook Season/gloomy weather. Sign me up for insta-families and murder mysteries w/ MCs in possible danger any day.

How I heard of it: library (literally because it was right next to McTiernan)

Still Missing - Chevy Stevens. 2010. Collecting base material for when I play this scenario (abduction/prolonged captivity and its aftermath) out w/ TV characters I like.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

This Is How You Lose The Time War - Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone. 2019. It sounded EXACTLY like a (genderbent) Doctor/Master or Crowley/Aziraphale relationship.

How I heard of it: a book blog post

The Tale of Halcyon Crane - Wendy Webb. 2010. Wanted an audiobook and I like this author (esp. for spook season).

How I heard of it: author’s back catalog

The Child Garden - Catriona McPherson. 2015. I liked her previous book and this setting looked even spookier and more atmospheric.

How I heard of it: author’s back catalog

Quiet Neighbors - Catriona McPherson. 2016. One last dip into this author...because what part of "woman gets a job organizing the books in 'the oldest bookshop in a town full of bookshops' + an old cottage to stay in" does not sound like my dream life?

How I heard of it: author’s back catalog

Doctor Who: The Nightmare of Black Island - Mike Tucker. 2006. After 2.5 months in a Ten/Rose spiral, the time was nigh to pluck one of their novels I didn’t get around to reading back in my original fandom heyday.

How I heard of it: can't remember

Misery - Stephen King. 1987. I just woke up one day and decided I was in the mood to try this infamous mother of all literary whumps.

How I heard of it: can’t remember

The Whisper Man - Alex North. 2019. Went looking for books that would remind me of the father/son dynamic in "The Escape Artist."

How I heard of it: Googling

Open Your Eyes - Paula Daly. 2018. Second crack at a "Recovery"-shaped novel (it failed instantly because I didn’t take the possibility of diversity into account, but suspense is still a good genre regardless).

How I heard of it: Googling

The Last - Hanna Jameson. 2019. "Dystopian psychological thriller" + the gorgeous hotel on the cover.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

------------------

YOUNG ADULT

Blood Wounds - Susan Beth Pfeffer. 2011. Established quality author + (what I thought was a) thriller premise.

How I heard of it: author’s back catalog

Beware That Girl - Teresa Totten. 2016. I wanted an audiobook, and contemporary YA options are limited at the library. The mystery/thriller aspect sounded good enough to spend 8+ hours with.

How I heard of it: library

Trafficked - Kim Purcell. 2012. I am mystified/intrigued by domestic/non-sexual slavery, and have not seen the topic covered in YA.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Wild Bird - Wendelin Van Draanen. 2017. I have long been fascinated by teen reform camps for girls in the wilderness.

How I heard of it: library

The Year of Luminous Love - Lurlene McDaniel. 2013. The Year of Chasing Dreams - Lurlene McDaniel. 2014.

The library didn't have Girl With the Broken Heart, but it did have a fat duology featuring similar elements of horses + tragic illness, and a trio of friends that called to mind Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

The Pull of Gravity - Gae Polisner. 2011. I was looking for quality male friendships, but the male/female friendship + road trip in this search result sounded like I could cast them as teen versions of Survivor contestants. I forget which ones.

How I heard of it: Googling

The Summer of Jordi Perez (and the Best Burger in Los Angeles) - Amy Spalding. 2018. Established quality author + bright cover, cool title, burger quest, MC's love of fashion and job in a clothing store, and summer in L.A. setting

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Tiger Eyes - Judy Blume. 1981. Found out Amy Jo Johnson was the mom in the movie version, decided to read the book as prep since once again, I knew the title, but not why I knew it.

Darius the Great Is Not Okay - Adib Khorram. 2018. I turned the internet upside down in search of books with quality male friendships, and was pointed here.

How I heard of it: Googling

Big Doc's Girl - Mary Medearis. 1941. Went looking for vintage stories of simple country girls who reminded me of Katharine McPhee's character in The House Bunny. (spoiler alert: this was not it even a little bit, why did I think it was)

How I heard of it: Googling

With Malice - Eileen Cook. 2016. Always here for random teen thrillers, including a fictionalized version of Amanda Knox.

How I heard of it: library

The Girls of No Return - Erin Saldin. 2012. Like I said, I'm big on girls reform camps in the wilderness.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Hope Was Here - Joan Bauer. 2000. Needed an audiobook. This one was short and by a proven quality author.

How I heard of it: library

Rules of the Road - Joan Bauer. 1998. Best Foot Forward - Joan Bauer. 2006. Bought the first super-cheap a while ago because of the cover/road trip aspect/fascinating first few pages; read NOW to keep the Bauer train rolling, followed immediately by its sequel.

How I heard of it: Goodwill/Goodreads

Now Is Everything - Amy Giles. 2017. Interesting format, sympathetic-sounding main character (edit: What Makes You Beautiful - Ha Ha Ha version.mp3), potential for a sweet and protective romance.

How I heard of it: library

Radical - E.M. Kokie. 2016. Survivalist/prepper teen?  Intriguing and underrepresented concept in YA.

How I heard of it: library

Hit the Road - Caroline B. Cooney. 2006. “It's spring, which means it's time to think about road trips.” Plus I just read a fun teen + old lady on the road book (Rules of the Road). It's thematic.

How I heard of it: library

I Am Still Alive - Kate Alice Marshall. 2018. I dig survival stories, especially in the wilderness, and this one was well recced.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Caged Graves - Dianne K. Salerni. 2013. Spook cover!! I MUST KNOW WHY THERE ARE CAGES OVER THESE GRAVES.

How I heard of it: library

Fancy Free - Betty Cavanna. 1961. Found cheap and will read this author always.

How I heard of it: antique store

Once And For All - Sarah Dessen. 2017. Stubborn determination to complete this author's canon and literally no other reasons.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Wired Man and Other Freaks of Nature - Sashi Kaufman. 2016. People in the Goodreads reviews were mad that the guys were so close yet not gay for each other. That's the very specific male friendship wheelhouse I've been looking for! Plus I know this author can write teen boys in a way I can tolerate.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Field Notes on Love - Jennifer E. Smith. 2019. Needed an audiobook and this was on display at the library; it looked cute and fluffy and I was ready for an antidote to the Dessen book.

How I heard of it: library

Midnight Sun - Trish Cook. 2017. Needed an audiobook and sick!lit seemed the most reliable of my options, given that previews for the movie had looked okay and it was real short.

How I heard of it: library

9 Days and 9 Nights - Katie Cotugno. 2018. Sequel to a book that drove me insane, but where I loved the writing style and was frustratingly fond of the characters so I Had 2 Know what happened next.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Your Destination Is On The Left - Lauren Spieller. 2018. Attractive cover + keywords like "nomadic RV lifestyle," Santa Fe, post-high-school YA, and internship

How I heard of it: library

Weird Girl and What's His Name - Meagan Brothers. 2015. X-Philes?? In MY modern-day YA fiction?? (with a side of inappropriate age-mismatched relationship?)  My interest is more likely than you'd think!

How I heard of it: library

All Out of Pretty - Ingrid Palmer. 2018. Attractive design + arresting first page piqued my curiosity

How I heard of it: library

Hitchhike - Isabelle Holland. 1977. Vintage book w/ a puppy on the cover, by an author I like.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Send No Blessings - Phyllis Reynolds Naylor. 1990. Reread from high school after it came up on the What's The Name of That Book? discussion group; felt a strong pull of positive feelings but couldn't remember much.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Year of the Gopher - Phyllis Reynolds Naylor. 1987 Wanted better understanding of the source material before reading an essay about this book and the above in Lost Masterworks of Young Adult Literature.

How I heard of it: another book

Up In Seth's Room - Norma Fox Mazer. 1979 There was an essay about this in Lost Masterworks too. I had read it a long time ago and remembered NOT liking it, but figured I might as well revisit it to review on Goodreads.

How I heard of it: library

Blizzard's Wake - Phyllis Reynolds Naylor. 2002. Happened to be on the shelf when I checked to see what non-Alice books of hers the library had in stock, and figured as long I'm on a Naylor kick, this might as well happen. Mainly ‘cause I saw "deadly blizzard" on the back and was like "WOW this seems useful for my hurt/comfort scenario stockpile."

How I heard of it: library

A Whole New World - Liz Braswell. 2015. Seeing the new Aladdin trailer blew up my heart with FEELINGS for the original, so I went looking for a YA retelling. Can't believe I found an actual Disney-based retelling.

How I heard of it: Library catalog

After the Dancing Days - Margaret I. Rostkowski. 1986. The connection between Roy and the little girl in The Fall reminded me of this book, so I reread it specifically to visualize Andrew as Lee Pace.

How I heard of it: Library

There's Someone Inside Your House - Stephanie Perkins. 2017. I'll read most any teen thriller you throw at me. The more murders the better.

How I heard of it: Library

All the Forever Things - Jolene Perry. 2017. Loved the author's writing style on a previous book, but couldn't stomach the love triangle. Wanted to give her another chance.

How I heard of it: Library

Aristotle and Dante Discover The Secrets of the Universe - Benjamin Alire Saenz. 2012. Been on my TBR for a while because quality male friendship; read it now to see if I should keep or get rid of the dollar store copy I bought. (answer: get rid of. it's good but not amazing to me personally)

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Hollow Girl - Hillary Monahan. 2017. Violent revenge fantasy against rapists? Especially to save the life of a guy you like who was brutally beaten during your assault? Heck yeah.

How I heard of it: Library

The Opposite of Love - Sarah Lynn Scheerger. 2014. The hurt/comfort potential was off the charts and it vaguely reminded me of Ryan/Marissa (the O.C.).

How I heard of it: Library

Sophomore Year is Greek to Me - Meredith Zeitlin. 2015. It just looked light and cute, like summer.

How I heard of it: Library

Girl Online On Tour - Zoe Sugg. 2015. Girl Online Going Solo - Zoe Sugg. 2016. Two sequels to a book I enjoyed.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Plague Land - Alex Scarrow. 2017. Plague Land Reborn - Alex Scarrow. 2018. Always here for illness-based apocalypse/dystopia. Would have finished the trilogy but library doesn’t have book 3 yet.

How I heard of it: Library

Pretty Fierce - Kieran Scott. 2017. Spy daughter of spies running for her life along w/ doting boyfriend (named Oliver, a name that has never let me down in fiction)? The ship radar is sounding OFF.

How I heard of it: Library

The Leaving - Lynn Hall. 1980. Will read any LH book, but this one was small and easy to take on an overnight trip plus everything about the summary and first couple of pages drew me in.

How I heard of it: author’s back catalog

Speed of Life - J.M. Kelly. 2016. Beautiful cover, blue collar family, unusual premise (twin sisters co-parenting the baby one of them had, no dad in sight), and I love stories where teens are (essentially) head of household.

How I heard of it: Thrift Books

Freshman Year and Other Unnatural Disasters - Meredith Zeitlin. 2012. Looked light and cute, because it's back-to-school time and lately I've been enjoying study blogs from people just starting high school.

How I heard of it: Library

The Land of 10,000 Madonnas - Kate Hattemer. 2016. Unsupervised teens a-wanderin' through Europe? Sign me up for that vicarious wanderlust.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

A Thousand Boy Kisses - Tillie Cole. 2016. A romance w/ astronomical hurt/comfort potential. (spoiler alert it’s too sickly saccharine even for me)

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Hooked - Catherine Greenman. 2011. Random reread of a book I had come to believe should have been 4 stars rather than 3, but couldn’t remember well enough to feel confident in changing the rating without checking first.

How I heard of it: Library

Appaloosa Summer - Tudor Robins. 2014. Horsey YA + after years of it being on my TBR, the author saw me post about this fact and offered to send me a free paperback copy for review.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

I Stop Somewhere - T.E. Carter. 2018. I too identified as a girl my classmates would never notice was missing (moreso in college, but still). Plus it's getting close to Halloween, so time for spooky/true-crime-esque reads.

How I heard of it: library

What Waits in the Woods - Kieran Scott. 2015. An ideal spook setting for the spook season!

How I heard of it: Library

Illuminae - Amie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff. 2015. The formatting/art design just sounded cool and unique.

How I heard of it: a book blog post

Boot Camp - Todd Strasser. 2006. I went to the library to check out a different book of his, but this caught my eye because WHUMPITY WHUMP (with a side of pining for the teacher he had previously been in a relationship with).

The Last Trip of the Magi - Michael Lorinser. 2012. Picked up cheap at a book sale for the struggling-to-survive-a-winter-night-outside aspect.

A List of Cages - Robin Roe. 2017. Male friendship loaded with hurt/comfort.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

-------

MIDDLE GRADE

Sparrow Road - Sheila O'Connor. 2011. The setting -- an artist's retreat at an old mansion on sprawling estate grounds formerly used as an orphanage -- captivated me.

How I heard of it: a Little Free Library (outside of a mansion repurposed as an art council's center, actually)

Annie's Life in Lists - Kristin Mahoney. 2018. I LOVE LISTS.

How I heard of it: library

Hope is a Ferris Wheel - Robin Herrera. 2014. Still grinding my teeth over Dessen's Once and For All, I was desperate for a sweet middle grade story to refresh my palate. Gimme that bright cover. Ooh, and a trailer park kid?

How I heard of it: Library

The Education of Ivy Blake - Ellen Airgood. 2015. Prairie Evers - Ellen Airgood. 2012. Also intended as a Dessen antidote, I picked up the sequel first due to the incredibly charming excerpt on the back, and then fell so in love with the character and writing style I needed more of her world.

How I heard of it: Library

When You Reach Me - Rebecca Stead. 2009. Rave reviews from friends; mystery aspect sounded intriguing.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Counting By 7s - Holly Goldberg Sloan. 2013. Picked up cheap at a fundraiser garage sale I wanted to support; seemed easily readable.

Summerlost - Ally Condie. 2016. Young!Ned/Chuck AU?? (spoiler alert: maybe if it wasn't so boring)

How I heard of it: Googling

Where The Heart Is - Jo Knowles. 2019. "Country girl taking care of the animals at a hobby farm across the road" = the childhood dream and also I wanted to ignore the summary and hope I could still get a Young!Ned/Chuck AU. How I heard of it: Library

The Wizards of Once - Cressida Cowell. 2017. Twice Magic - Cressida Cowell. 2018. First one: David Tennant reads the audiobook, and literally no other reasons.

Second one: Ah heck turns out I kind of loved how David Tennant read that audiobook and want more.

How I heard of it: Library catalog

My Sister Lives on the Mantelpiece - Annabel Pitcher. 2011. David Tennant reads the audiobook, and literally no other reasons.

How I heard of it: Library catalog

----------

NONFICTION

Seinology: The Sociology of Seinfeld - Tim Delaney. 2006. It's sociology, it's Seinfeld, what's not to love?

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Survivor: The Ultimate Game - Mark Burnett. 2000. At the beginning of the year I was obsessed w/ this show like never before, so a detailed recap of one of its seasons seemed like the ticket to complement that.

How I heard of it: Googling

Jungle: A Harrowing True Story of Survival - Yossi Ghinsberg. 1985. Loved the movie, wanted to relive it in text form.

How I heard of it: special features on the DVD

Lost Masterworks of Young Adult Literature - ed. Connie Zitlow. 2002. There was an essay about Send No Blessings in here. If that's the kind of book this book is about, I wanna hear all about it.

How I heard of it: Library catalog

Animals in Young Adult Fiction - Walter Hogan. 2009. From the same publishing line as the above, which I loved, I figured this was even MORE my specialized reading niche.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Phantoms of the Hudson Valley - Monica Randall. 1996. When I have I ever NOT wanted to read about grand mansions of yesteryear -- especially if some are abandoned ruins?

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Seven Cats and the Art of Living - Jo Coudert. 1996. Picked up cheap at a library sale because cats (and the cute author-illustrated cover painting).

Psychic Pets and Spirit Animals: True Stories From The Files of Fate Magazine. 1996. Random reread of a childhood favorite.

How I heard of it: B. Dalton's (THAT’S how long I’ve had this book, y’all).

Extreme Couponing - Joni Meyer-Crothers with Beth Adelman. 2013. Who doesn't love saving money? But I am not very coupon-savvy and wanted to learn.

How I heard of it: Library

Cabin Lessons: A Tale of 2x4s, Blisters and Love - Spike Carlsen. 2015. Having the money/skill to build my own cabin on MN's north shore is a fun daydream.

How I heard of it: Library

The Little Bookstore of Big Stone Gap: A Memoir of Friendship, Community, and the Uncommon Pleasure of a Good Book  - Wendy Welch. 2012. Opening a used bookstore is my impractical dream too.

How I heard of it: Library

Belonging: A German Reckons With History and Home - Nora Krug.  2018. Illustrated memoirs are always awesome.

How I heard of it: Library

The Astor Orphan: A Memoir - Alexandra Aldrich. 2013.

Rokeby was one of the estates that fascinated me in Phantoms of the Hudson Valley, and the content of this one took place around the same era that book was written.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

I'll Be There For You: The One About Friends - Kelsey Miller. 2018. Am I going to turn down "a retrospective" about one of my favorite shows?? I am not.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Season Finale: The Unexpected Rise and Fall of the WB & UPN. 2007. Recommended after the above because I love hearing how network TV stations are built in terms of programming decisions.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Paperback Crush: The Totally Radical History of 80s and 90s Teen Fiction - Gabrielle Moss. 2018. Take how I reacted to Lost Masterworks of Young Adult Literature, and multiply it by "fully illustrated with brightly colored pages." These are the kind of books I’m familiar with and always down to talk/hear about, but hardly anyone else is.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

[trashboatprince]

Got another one-shot for you guys! Super slow day at work (got sent home early), spent the time during those few hours working on an idea I’ve had in mind for a while...

Toon Bendy going to school with his mom!

Inspired by another wonderful one-shot by zanzaflux, School Days, probably my favorite of the Slice of Life series. Go check out these one-shots and the others by this author, they’re such great stories!

On with the fic!

--

“Okay, thank you for telling me. Yes, I’ll pick up the lesson plan from the front office when I get there. Alright, thank you, have a safe trip.” Linda replied before she hung up the phone.

“Who was that?” Henry asked as he worked at the stove, cooking dinner.

“It was Mrs. Margo, she needs someone to fill in for her on Monday, she’ll be out of town for something her husband is going to and she had to go with him.” Linda spoke as she moved back to the counter where she had been working on the salad for their spaghetti dinner.

Henry nodded as he worked on stirring the pasta. “Is it just the one day?”

“Monday, yes. She’ll met me know if I have to fill in for Tuesday.”

“What’s goin’ on on Monday?”

Linda and Henry looked over at the kitchen table, seeing Bendy getting himself up on his chair, looking interested in the conversation. He had only been a toon for a short time now, it was a little surprising to hear him speak so clearly now than just the grumbles and such from before.

“Well,” Linda began as she placed the salad bowl on the table, “I just got a call to substitute for the third grade class on Monday.”

If she didn’t know any better, Linda swore she saw stars in Bendy’s eyes. “Can I come with!?” He loudly asked, nearly bouncing out of his seat.

“Uh, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, bud.” Henry frowned as he moved to drain the pasta. “I know you’re now back to your original design, but some people are still...”

Bendy pouted and slumped in his seat. “B-But Henry, I’m great wit’ kids! An’ I promise I’ll be on mah best behavior! I won’t cause any problems! I just wanna see what dis school nonsense is all about! All mah friends tell me about it. An’ besides, I know what you do for a livin’ since you work from home, but not Linda!”

Henry looked over at his wife, well... it really is up to her.

Linda sighed softly, smiling at Bendy. “Okay, but just this once. And if anyone asks about this, tell them to speak with me. Also, you better promise to be on your best behavior, young man.”

Bendy’s face lit up like the Fourth of July as he made an X over his chest. “Cross mah heart!”

--

Bendy was practically gonna fly out of his car seat as he sat next to Linda, the grin on his face could rival the one he has in his beast form.

She smiled a little at him as she parked in the faculty parking lot of the school and Bendy shot right out the door the moment she shut off the car. He had gotten himself ready for today, even packing his own school lunch, a notebook and pen, and his Bendy plush into the little book bag he had for trips. He even put on a sweater for this so he looked nice.

“Hey, where’s all da kids?” He asked, looking around.

“Cause it’s early, Bendy.” Linda replied as she took his hands, walking towards the front doors with him. “See, I have to come in early to get the lesson plan and to get things ready. The kids come to school in about thirty minutes or so, but you can help me get things set up.”

“Okay!” He nodded, walking into the building with her. His eyes were wide as he took in the art mural on the wall, welcoming guests to the school. There were portraits of people Bendy never heard of that seemed to be of some importance to the school’s history along a wall of a hall that let to a room.

There was a woman at a desk with big glasses and a bright pink dress that matched her nails. She looked at Bendy, her eyes looked really big in those glasses, and she blinked at him like an owl. “Mrs. Stein?” She asked, looking up at Linda.

“I’m here for Mrs. Margo’s lesson plans.” Linda smiled, still holding Bendy’s hand. “And this is my son, Mrs. Fillmore. He came with me today, don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on him.

Mrs. Fillmore looked at Bendy before giving Linda folder. She continued to watch the two as they left the office. Bendy made a face, great, not even three minutes in and already people were gawking. Should have seen that coming.

It didn’t take them long to get to a classroom and Linda entered it, letting Bendy go in first as she turned on the lights. Bendy’s smile was back on his face as he looked at all the interesting things on the walls, the desk all had names on them on bright pieces of paper that were taped to the top, and that he could see a playground from the big windows along another wall.

Linda had him sit at a desk with no name on it while she wrote things on the board. He happily spoke with his mother figure about what he saw in a cartoon the other day when he noticed kids in the playground. Linda saw a blur go from the desk to the window and she blinked, seeing that Bendy was pressed against the glass. “Can I go out an’ play?”

“At recess you can, but class starts in a few minutes.” She replied, watching him pout, before he grinned, waving at a few kids who spotted him and were waving back.

Just as she said, within five minutes, Bendy heard a bell ring loudly and the students all came rushing into the school. He quickly went to the open desk and waited patiently. The door opened and students entered, many of them quickly flocking to Bendy.

“Bendy!” A boy happily announced, giving him a tight hug.

“Hiya, Norman!” Bendy replied. “Guess what! Linda let me come to school wit’ her today!”

“That’s so cool!” Another kid spoke up. “Do ya get to stay with us all day then?”

“Yep! But only if I’m on mah best behavior cause then Henry’s gotta come get me.”

The kids happily chatted with him until Linda got their attention, telling them to take their seats. Bendy grinned as he saw that he sat next to his friend Norman from their neighborhood, giving him a thumbs up. This class had a lot of kids he recognized from the neighborhood and the parks he got to go to! A few faces were new, but the kids didn’t seem scared. In fact, they looked happy and in awe of him.

“Alright, student. I’m Mrs. Stein,” Linda started, “and your teacher wants you to continue what you were doing on Friday. So, let’s start off today with where you left off in your history lesson, take out your books and we’ll get back to that.”

Bendy watched the kids open the desks and pull out books. He looked into his own, not seeing anything but a chewed up pencil. He pouted, until Norman started pushing his desk over, letting the two share his book.

School was a lot more fun than Bendy ever could have imagined. TV made it seem bothering, and some of his friends complained, but Bendy was loving this! First they learned some history about America in the early 1800s, then they did math. Bendy did find that one a little boring, but he did learn a few things!

After math was science! Bendy LOVED this one because the kids showed him the bean plants they were growing and going to see if they could keep growing until the end of the school year. They even let him use an extra bean and planter they had, writing his name on it. Bendy also drew his face on it, which prompted a few other kids to do the same.

After those classes was lunch. Bendy was quite the popular toon at lunch, lots of children came up to him and asked him questions as he ate his sandwich. He was happy to answer questions, like where he came from and how he was alive. He kept the details vague, but he summed it up as ‘ink, a film reel, and a dream!’.

Then came recess, clearly Bendy’s favorite moment of the school day. He was all over the playground, playing with a whole bunch of his friends and new ones he made at lunch! He had seen Linda speak with a few teachers during lunch and recess about him, but no one had called anyone about him, or seemed alarmed. Phew!

Once those were done, it was back to class. English was kind of fun, Bendy got to work on his reading with his ‘classmates’, even though he made it probably more entertaining than what was required for reading out loud.

How was he suppose to know he wasn’t suppose to act like that when reading the Prince and Pauper? He’s a poor entertainer, he has to shine! Luckily, Linda let him do it, and the rest of the class tried to do dramatic readings like his as well, but it was hard when everyone was laughing.

The last class of the day seemed to be a free class. Norman explained that the last class was always different for each day. For Mondays, it was art. Since there was nothing in the lesson plan that was planned for this course, Linda let them draw whatever they wanted.

“Whatcha gonna draw, Bendy?” Lily, the girl who had been sitting in front of him, asked. 

“Hmm... I dunno! Sweet potato pie, there’s so many things I could draw!” Bendy shrugged.

“Draw a dragon!” Hugo grinned from his seat. “I’m drawin’ one, you can do one too!”

Harrison, the boy next to him, shook his head. “Don’t force him, I’m sure he’ll figure something out.”

“You’d think it would be easy for a cartoon to know what to draw.” Molly laughed.

“I know!” Bendy blinked, before chuckling. “I’ve got an idea! I’m gonna draw somethin’ for Linda an’ Henry.” He whispered this to the small group around him.

“That sounds cute.” Lily smiled. “What for?”

“I dunno, I guess for lettin’ me do this. I’ve had a heck of a swell day! It’s da least I can do!” Bendy grinned as he picked up his pen and got to work on the sheet of paper that had been passed out.

He had finished his drawing by the time that class was over and stuck around for a few minutes, chatting with his friends about how he’d see them when he got him. The kids departed and Bendy was left with Linda, who finished with cleaning up things around the teacher’s desk.

After they dropped off the lesson plan at the front off, Bendy happily walked with Linda to the car. He told her about what he did at lunch and recess and how he couldn’t wait to tell Henry about his day. When they got him, Bendy bolted inside of the house, loudly yelling Henry’s name in excitement.

Linda chuckled softly to herself before she noticed that Bendy had left his school bag, seeing that it was open. She saw the draw he had done for class and took it out, smiled at the art.

It was of her and Henry, in Bendy’s art style, with the little toon in the middle. In his handwriting, he had written ‘thank you, mom & dad’ at the top of the drawing.

She smiled more as she got out, going to put this on the fridge for Henry to see and for her to tease the little devil about when he saw what she had did with his thank you art.

--

Cheesy, cute, but I really like the idea of Bendy in school. (and if it was up to him, he’d be a student)

Also, I made a reference to an oc friend of Bendy’s from one of my own fanfics, and a few au name references in this too. :D

[franklong12]

Luke Siegel, friend of former New Orleans Saints QB Drew Brees, dies at 15 METAIRIE, La. -- Drew Brees, Patrick Mah... Read the rest on our site with the url below https://worldwidetweets.com/luke-siegel-friend-of-former-new-orleans-saints-qb-drew-brees-dies-at-15/?feed_id=73866&_unique_id=61219cde0d22c #DrewBrees #NewOrleansSaints #News #NFL

[wwtweets]

Luke Siegel, friend of former New Orleans Saints QB Drew Brees, dies at 15 METAIRIE, La. -- Drew Brees, Patrick Mah... Read the rest on our site with the url below https://worldwidetweets.com/luke-siegel-friend-of-former-new-orleans-saints-qb-drew-brees-dies-at-15/?feed_id=73867&_unique_id=61219cde9f422 #DrewBrees #NewOrleansSaints #News #NFL

[awesome-cookies-and-cream]

sometimes i take for granted how tame my country’s society is

i mean compared to other countries :) i won’t lie my country has a lot of problems. our government is shit. our corruption culture is terrible as fuck. we’re only hardworking at first. our urban planing is straight out of a nightmare. we get typhoons (hurricanes) like every month. theres a lot of earthquakes. economy is shit. poverty is like really serious here. and a loooooong list of other third world country problems (like reaaaaally slow internet)

BUT

hey at least nobody dies because because of some fucking asshole who thinks its all right to shoot people. 

at least we aren’t that racist. (i won’t lie. sometimes stereotypes are inevitable. we’re only human afterall but at least we don’t openly declare our distaste)   you white? i’m envious! you chinese, japanese, korean looking? cute! you american? australian? western looking-ish? european? idk man we don’t mind. honestly we can hardly tell. you black? we’re pretty black too. tan? yep most of us are tan here being in a tropical country and all. 

we accept most religion. you catholic? come here brother! you muslim? succeed mah friend. we know a lot of muslims. they’re fun people! you protestant? jewish? or some other branch of Christianity? no problem! we believe in the same holy dude just different practice. (we also have a national holiday if muslims have a holy day. hey more holidays!)

we believe in gender equality! in fact men believe women are amazing people! (this is from a friend) women getting promoted as boss? so long as she’s competent! women as valedictorian? so long as she deserves it! women as the family’s provider? bruh in a third world country? nobody can pick who provides. cat calling? its never going to be gone but its not that bad. rape rates aren’t that high (last i checked)

also when women are in a period? men try to give them space. cramps? dude do you want pain killers? do you want to go to the clinic? can you get there? (my guy friends ask this every time it makes me feel loved :3) pads? does anybody have pads? do you want me to run to the convenience store? here I’ll buy them for you sit here (i swear some of them they do this i cry every time) one time i asked some of my female friends if they have pads and this one friend of mine drew out a bag and immediately asked “pads? with wings? without? tampoons? for day? night? choose ur pick” and we all stared at him like. also they ask a lot of things like ‘how does it feel?’ ‘what’s the difference of this brand and that brand?’ honestly there’s no taboo here. or well...it’s a bit tamer

also gays aren’t persecuted here. not that much at least. we’re still a catholic country but at least it’s not that bad from what im hearing from you guys.

we are also very family oriented and WE LOVE SINGING SO MUCH! YOU HEAR IT EVERYWHERE!! EVERY SINGLE HOUSE! 

anyway I’m not saying my country is perfect. i have a lot of negatives left unsaid but hey! I should be grateful of the good things right? and it may not be true to the entire country but at least in the place i live this is mostly true. 

[mommaslilangel]

How you meet

Trevor

"Flippyty fuckin' doo" you exhaled while looking at the mess in your garden. All your herbs were ripped out of ground and stepped on, rosmary bushes burnt to a chrisp and what once were healthy alraunes now looked like green pancakes. "Bloody drunkard" you mutterd under your breath. This deepshit has been passing through your woods recently, always leaving a mess behing him. But ruining your garden was crossing the line. HoW DiD hE eVeN sEt tHe RoSmAry On fIrE?!

With a flick of your fingers gardening utencils flew out of the house and into your hands. Your main priorety was fixing what was left of your garden and than taking care of that asshat.

Golden rays of sun danced through your hair as you worked on salvaging your poor plants. The warm wind played with your skirt as you worked on a plan for later. A hex is in order, and a few spells too... maybe a monster? Nah he's just some idiot drunkard. Not worth it. You herd a small chrip coming from behind you. You turned around, a huge smile plasterd on your face. "AMADEUS!" A small hedgehog trotted out of your shrubbery with a huge happy face. You bend over and picked him up "Mah little friendoo~" crip! "I was so worried for youu~!" Chrip chrip! "That drunk moron culd have stepped on you!" The little spike ball nuzzled his small face on your porcelain chick in a rassuring gesture. "Just look what he had done to our garden !" The spikey beasty stopped nuzzling and slowly turned his head around.

CHRIPCHRIPCHRIPCHRIPCHRIP- "i know, sweety" he started stirring so you gently put him back down. As soon as his feet touched the ground he started power walking through the ruined garden. Once he was done with his little investigation he stopped and looked back at you, angry look on his small squishy face. It took all your strength not to laugh at his face and the fact that he bearly saw you behind him with his big fluffy butt in the view. He trotted back on his smol legs back and gestured for you to pick him up once again.

Chrip! chrip! You leaned in closer and listend to what he had to say. ChripChripChripChripChripChripChripChripChripChrip... "yes my little friend, you do that and i will ifx everything up" you agreed with Amadeus' plan and you both went you seperate ways.

Burning ambers that decorated the sky not so long ago now died out, letting the night cover your forest in its dark veil. Amadeus left a few hours ago to go and track down that drunk asshat and you buisied yourself with making a hex. It was an easy one, a Light Hex some would call it. As a witch you preferred to be more... mischivous so to say.

You put some vinegar in the pot and started stirring. While you waited for vinegar to boil, you went to chop some basil and myrth. You threw all the ingridiants into the pot and left it to sit. Nex step was to draw a circle on your table. Inside you draw a triangle and in each corner there was a candle. You drew a pentacle in the middle, meaning that drunk idiot no harm. You muttered ainchent words under your breath and the lines you drew with salt melted into the table. As the finishing step, yo took the pot and poured its liquid contents in the carvings on the table. Liquid spread through the pentacle, meandering twards thr triangle and ending in the circle. As the liquid filled the symbol it started illuminating a light green colour signalling you that you may proceed. Now all you had to do was wait for your buddy Amadeus to come back home with asshats wherebouts.

Amadeus trotted through the hole on your door soon after, mischief in his eyes. Chrip! Chrip! "So hes not in the village? That's bloody stupid" Chrip!psssChrip! "HE DID WHAT TO MY ROSMARY BUSHES?!" You nearly broke your plant pot when you heard what Amadeus just said. "Ohohohoho that man is in for it".

Trevors POV

[truck-vore]

Through Pain you find Passion Part One

The feeling of fire on his fur was the first sign that something had gone amiss. The painful burning along the right side of his body, tinged with the smell of burning fur is what slowly brought him back to consciousness.  His eyelids slowly fluttered open, a groan escaping from his muzzle. He softly coughed again, paw slowly rising up to his face, feeling along the rim of the now shattered and half melted glasses that clung to the top of his muzzle. Another cough escaped from his sore lips as he slowly rolled onto his left side, a groan coming from them as he hissed, the sudden bright lights that assaulted his vision hurting. Flames licked at the building in front of him. His vision blurred on the debris that surrounded him, pockets of wood and twisted metal surrounding him as the crackle of the growing fire grew louder.    His tattered uniform offered no protection on the growing heat and cold, the mixture of heat from the fire and the nipping cold on his burned and blistered exposed skin.  The dog gingerly removed the glasses off his face, hissing as the pulled on the fur from where they were stuck, sticking them gingerly into a pocket as he continued to watch the growing fire, taking in deep yet shallow breaths. He gave a grunt, gently pushing up on the ground, his tattered clothes flapping softly in the growing breeze as he slowly rose up on two shaky legs, more hissing come from the steadily growing pain. “Mother fucker” the dog hissed softly, his uninjured arm draping over his midsection as he tried to keep taking in lungfuls of air, each breath feeling like pins and needles now. His eyes looked over the dark orange glow of the growing fire, the dark smoke drifting off into the deep dark night sky. Its crackle and pops growing as more was added to the growing hunger, the building groaning and sagging each minute as he continued to stare. A popping noise drew his eyes from the flames, blue eyes drawing over to the buildings beyond his location, drawing to the growing smoke clouds in the city beyond him. More and more fires could be seen growing, screaming and yelling filled the air, gunshots and explosions raging as he took another deep breath. Wide eyes watched the growing chaos before another round of pain and burning sensations took hold, diverting his attention again as he growled. “God damnit” he grunted, wincing at the pain in his lungs, “Like World War Z in this shit hole” he growled as he took his first step. A dull throb was his reward, thankfully not the pain of anything broken; He was thankful for that at least. He continued those few steps, grumbling as he did so as he fought of the sleepy feeling that grew behind his eyes, away from the warmth of the fire and deeper into the cold winter air around him.    He trudged on deeper and deeper through the complex of buildings and parking lots, devoid of life at this time on a Sunday, trying to make his way towards salvation seeing as the buildings beyond the port where currently in a warzone with someone who the dog didn't have any clue, but one he didn't really want to find out. He gave another hiss as his right side throbbed, not liking the cold air on burnt exposed skin, but still he trudged on, deeper and deeper into the port complex.    With a grunt, His tired body slid against a wall, the dog landing with a hiss on his half burned tail, taking a deep breath as he slowly took off his tattered jacket, the burnt article of clothing offering little in the way of protection at this point. He slowly wrapped it around his worse burns over his arm, hissing at the sloshyness of his skin, tightening it as much as he felt safe before softly sighing.  His ears softly swiveled upwards as another explosion, much closer to him went off. His eyes slowly tracked upwards, a column of fire and smoke following a summersalting boiler as it arched through the air, coming down with the crash of metal on metal as it went through the roof of some poor building on the port front.    “Son of a bitch” whispered the dog softly as another explosion rocketed the port, than another, than another as fail safes failed, boilers and over pressurized tanks going up like fireworks on the fourth of july. The building he rested against shook and vibrated every explosion. He decided at that time it was probably best he didn't stay here anymore, even if his weakened body thought otherwise. He slowly rose onto his paws once more, grunting and hissing with the movement of sore muscles and cooked flesh as he staggered against the building.    With a stagger, he grasped the buildings vinyl siding, hissing as his body tried to once again collapse again. He had to push through, find somewhere safe. He staggered forwards more, gripping and grabbing at the wall till he could get a rhythm, pushing gently against it as he began to drag his right leg, the muscles having decided that working wasn't an option at that moment. He continued forward, his breathing more and more haggard as he gasped, a cough coming from his throat as he staggered against a building till the fit was over.    Once he was sure it was over for the time being, he pushed forward again, hissing and growling along the way as his body softly began to shiver. The cold was definitely getting to him, and he needed shelter, hopefully in a place that wasn't a ticking time bomb. His undamaged left paw grabbed at a door handle, thankfully that with a squeal of old hinges it opened. Lights flickered on, the obnoxious hum of fluorescent lights coming on, illuminating an empty garage. With a shiver, he shut the door behind him, letting it softly latch as he trudged deeper into the garage, growling as he took his broken hurt body in search of the offices here.    He was thankfully it didn't take him long to find that, even with him being as blind as he was at the moment. His hand grabbed at the first aid kit on the wall, flipping its lid down as he rummaged through it, hissing as another wave of hot burning pain blazed up and down his right side. No gauzes, but at least he had some ointments and hydrogen peroxide here to use.He didn't bother measuring what he needed, dumping the liquid over the visible burns along his sides and legs. That earned a particularly loud howl of pain from him, the skin bubbling and fizzing from the contact, his teeth gritting through the horridious pain that joined in his agony.    He repeated the step  on his arm, dumping the liquid down under the jacket he had turned into a bandage. That proved to be the most painful, he could feel the skin moving under it as it tried to slosh of his arm. It proved too much, the howling pain, he didn't remember much. Gripping the table, the dots in his eyes, than nothing.    The feeling of flesh sloshing and the pain it brought snapped the dog back as he rose with a gasp, groaning at the pain his potential fuck up had brought. He could only weakly tie the knot further to stop it from getting any worse as he pushed the first aid supplies of the table, letting them scatter and roll along the floor as he leaned back and gave a weak sigh.    “Well fuck me upwards ah guess” he mumbered softly to himself, his blue eyes trailing upwards to the clock that slowly ticked above him. Tick tock it went, the hands barely moving as he stared, letting the buzz of the lights and the ticking of the clock wash over him as he grunted. His ears swiveled as he heard a new noise come into play, the angry cry of voices… clearly unhappy voices if he could hear correctly.    “Mah luck” he grunted as he slowly got up to try and investigate, the jerkiness of his movements not helping as he had to physically drag a leg that had decided that working at all was not in the books now. He cursed softly as his foot bumped up against something, the object rolling slowly away from him as his eyes darted downwards.    A pipe. Could be useful.    With effort that made him feel 40 years older, his paw managed to wrap around the older looking piper, happy in the knowledge is wasn't hefty; he at least could defend himself now, even if it was gonna be a poor attempt at that. He continued his trek towards the voices, to the wall where it was coming from behind. He turned and leaned against the wall,  a bad idea in hindsight as his weak leg immediately gave out, the dog whimpering as he painfully slid against it, but at least he could hear the voices clearly. “I dont care what you say, You can take your asses and get the hell off my docks” growled a voice, female if the dog could tell, his ears standing up the best they could from the pain. “And I’m telling you again, We need to make sure this port is at least secure. We don’t need any-” sounded another voice, scruff and clearly male, and clearly someone who would not like knowing the dog was here. “Even if god himself came down wanting this dock, I would tell him to get the fuck out of here as well. This is my dock, my rules. The city is in chaos and yet here you are, bullshiting me and my friend with your garbage talk. How about you get your ass back into the fight, and leave me and my associate alone. I’m sure such a large ass like you wouldnt have any issues with any armed forces in the city, now would you?” the female sound, a loud huff coming from her.    “Fine than, have it your way. But if we find out trouble is brewing here, you won’t be able to stop us from clearing and securing every building in this port” growled the male. The dogs ears perked up at the sound of engines revving and pulling away; weird, he hadn’t even heard them get into their vehicles.    “God damn lard asses” said the females, huffing as the engines died off. It was at that moment, that all the pain and misery the dog had faced over the night decided to come into full rebound. He gave a soft groan as his arm and sides really decided to enter searing pain territory,  as the throbbing grew much much worse. Pain he didn't even know he ad flared up, his face feeling like he had dunked it in a pot of boiling water that just grew hotter and hotter.     He whimpered as he fell onto his side, stupidly it seemed like later on, as  the burning of his body came into contact with the concrete flooring under him. The cool concrete could do nothing to help him there as he continued to lay there holding onto the pipe. He needed help, he could feel it, his body was burning up, and he wasn't gonna just walk this off.     With what few ounces of strength he had left in his bones, he banged the pipe off the metal wall. CLANG, again he struck, CLANG, cycle after cycle of hitting the walls. He hoped the voice could hear them, if not, this musty garage was going to be his tomb.    “Hello? Is anyone in their?” called out the female's voice, now closer to the building, and to the clanging. The dog could feel his mouth drying, his throat felt like a hot oven, his breathing becoming more labored over time as he just really wanted to sleep it felt like.    “Help me, please” he said, barely at normal speaking volume as he felt his eyes growing heavier with each passing second. The sound of a garage door squeaking opening sounded through the garage, his labor breathing the only sound the door was hearing as the sound of a vehicle pulling ahead could be heard. An older looking SUburban, white and blue, Port Security etched along the side gingerly rolled inside, the dog not getting a good look at the driver as it ventured ahead of him.    “Help me…. Please.. Help me” he said, his voice now basically a whisper as the edges of his vision became more and more black, the color draining from his vision. The vehicle stopped, gingerly turning towards him. His saw the flash of yellow wash over him, blinding him as he managed to get out one final word. “Help” he whispered as his brain finally couldn't take the pain, his eyes shutting down from overload, not being able to take the flash of one last bit of color.    At least if he died, he had been found he thought before his brain joined his eyes, snapping him fully in darkness.                

[rjhet]

The Monkey King Part II - Divided and United

((OOC: This was a continuation of a game I DMed for my group. Here my toon takes the place of the character Sun Wukong. See Part I, “The King of Everything”.))

Sun Wukong had come back ta visit us one day, much to Alice’s delight. Allen had been investigatin’ our mysterious visitor on his own prior ta this day, an’ discovered tha’ he was in fact some kinda primal. He claimed ta keep his aether levels low an’ tha’ he never tempered folk. Still wise ta proceed with caution; good on ya Allen.

Sun revealed tha’ his ‘treasure’ from our last adventure was the body of an old friend of his named Tang. In the past, they had gone through an incredible journey together searchin’ high n’ low for three sacred texts called sutras. Supposedly, bah readin’ an’ understandin’ all three one could achieve enlightenment.

He had thought tha’ bah recoverin’ Tang’s body he’d be able to converse with his spirit, buh poor Tang’s spirit lay trapped on tha’ other side. Sun once again requested our aid, buh admitted he lacked gil. Wha’ did a Monkey King need of gil he mused. He instead offered ta reveal a secret of the universe to us as a reward.

They journeyed through a forest in Doma, an’ finally found a hidden temple filled with monks. Sun removed his mask, an’ suddenly became just another monk. The mask was passed to someone else who then became Sun once again. A primal tha’s just a mask, good ta know. He tried ta teach everyone a spell called “Transcendence” which would allow your anima ta leave yer body an’ enter the spirit world, buh this did not come easily to anyone. Sun chose to reveal the ‘secret’ early, claiming it would help.

He drew a symbol we had seen many times over there; a circle made up of two swirls. When he asked what it was, Kheni called it the yin and yang symbol. She went on to say that it represented how in every good person there is evil, and in every evil person there is good. Sun nodded and agreed that is a good bit of wisdom to remember, but said that Yin and Yang are two symbols yet he only drew the one.

Undivided the symbol is called Yinyang. Neither good nor evil, in fact having very little to even do with that. As a single symbol it represents unity and balance. He gave an example: “There is an emotion felt when you want something that isn’t yet yours. Some might say greed, or envy. Would that not also describe ambition, or a wish in your heart? What about the deep adoration of another being? If returned we call it love. If not we call it obsession. Do not divide these things into good and evil, for each has the capacity for both. Instead take your flaws and turn them into strengths, and take your strengths and see them, for once, as flaws. Examine yourself fully and objectively, and learn to use every aspect of yourself. Then, and only then will you truly be made whole. Kee kee kee.”

As they pondered these words, aether began to flow through them easier. With his guidance, they began to cast the spell. One by one, they slipped through. Once in the spirit world, Sun lead them to a place where three great ogres had trapped many helpless spirits who were being forced to work as slaves.

The three ogres were tough, but with their newfound strength the Talons made short work of them. Panicked bah the might of these mortals, the three ogres formed together as one. Rhen fused with his pumpkin, growing ever stronger, and Alice locked herself into a mage duel. The ogre’s flames were hot, buh Alice drew strength from it instead of pain. The scars on her hands were proof she had suffered worse from her own spells. Together, they vanquished the monster and freed the spirits.

Tang and Sun had a very heartfelt reunion. During which Tang revealed that he had discovered the location of one of the sutras before he died. Sun turned to mah group and told them he would like their help in finding it. He warned that he had nothing to offer them, and that the journey must be its own reward. With trust growing ever stronger, mah group accepted. They agreed to answer his call when he was ready to recruit them.