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leftoverenvy · 2 years ago

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Tastes Like Sugar (ch. 26)

Summary: India Mae, or Indi, is a music major, struggling to pay bills, tuition, work, and make good grades. Emily Prentiss is a BAU profiler, as well as a DC socialite thanks to her huge family fortune. The two enter into a mutually beneficial arrangement: Emily will pay for Indi's school if Indi accompanies Emily to her social functions for a few months, posing as her girlfriend. As weeks go by, the lines between their arrangement and their true feelings start to blur. But money can't buy love, right?

Pairing: India Mae Banks x Emily Prentiss; OC x Emily Prentiss

Warnings: smut (18+); sugar baby relationships; age gap (16 years - but all over 18); 69; anal play

Word Count: 5.1k

Read on Wattpad | Ao3 | Previous Chapters

Taglist: @ssa-sapphic 🧸; @5raysofsunshine 🌮; @reidselle 🦭; @milfprotector 🐝💚; @gaelic-symphony 🎻 ; @sadgirlml 🌻💌; @hotchs-bitch 🦆 ; @multiverse-mxdness ; @madelineleong ; @scorpsik 🎨 ; @heidss

A/n: Check warnings for this chapter ⬆️

Chapter 26 - Gone to the Everglades

Bliss couldn't last forever. Finals were fast approaching, and I was overwhelmed preparing my final performances. I had put off studying for finals because I didn't want to waste the little time Emily was home by having my nose buried in a notebook. I wanted to focus on our time together, because I never knew when she'd be called away next. During the semester, it hadn't been a big deal. When she was home from a case, I could put off studying until she was called away on the next one because there was always time to catch up. Finals meant I couldn't keep putting things off.

Emily had respected how stressed I was when she had been home, but she had been called to Florida a few days ago. And I was at the end of my rope. My fingers were always stiff from working on my final recital pieces all day. My brain was always tired from reading my textbooks and notes all evening. It was amazing what a difference her presence made in my stress levels.

I needed some comfort; I was tired of the dust and creaking chairs in the library. But the thought of going home was less appealing than usual knowing Emily would not be there when I arrived home. I missed her arms, her kiss, her smile. I missed her.

When I finally made it home, I flopped on the couch, snuggled under a throw, and picked up my phone to call Emily. I knew this was a bad case for her – she had been working longer hours than typical. I wasn't expecting her to answer, but I desperately hoped she would.

"Hi angel…" she answered, exhaustion coloring her tone. It was still a relief to hear her smooth voice.

"Em!" I exclaimed in surprise. "I didn't expect you to answer."

"I know baby, I know. I'm so sorry we were called away. And I'm especially sorry we haven't been able to have our daily calls."

Though I already knew the answer, I asked, "Are you eating?"

She hesitated. "Yes…"

I sighed. "I'm going to start sneaking snacks into your suit pockets."

She chuckled, and I smiled at the sound – it's exactly what I needed. "Why don't you start sneaking you into my suit pockets?"

I smiled brightly like a fool in love. "I'd be so happy to try that, babe. I might be a bit distracting, though."

"Oh there's no question of that, sweet girl. I can't keep my hands to myself when you're around."

I giggled, remembering a few nights ago when exactly that happened. "That might be unprofessional. I'm sure Hotch would have something to say about that."

"Yes he might," she agreed. Our conversation tapered off, neither of us wanting to let the other go. I knew Emily needed to get back to work, but I was so unwilling to let her. I tried to be patient with her, recognizing it wasn't her fault that people were serial killers, but understanding her schedule never actually made it easier when she wasn't home.

"I wish I could see your final recital," she admitted. "It's looking like I'm going to miss it."

"It's fine, babe," I fibbed. Though I wished she could be here for that, it did take some of the pressure off from having a perfect performance. "I just wish you could be here now," I responded softly. "I miss you."

"I miss you too, angel. I'll be home before you know it." We both knew she couldn't make a promise like that, but the reassurance was nice to hear all the same.

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I rejoiced when finals were over. I breathed a huge sigh of relief, free for the summer. Thanks to Emily, I didn't need to work this summer, and it was the first summer I had in years where I wasn't staring down a full time work schedule just to make ends meet. I was able to relax, not strapped to the stress of wondering how I'd afford to eat until loans hit in August. I really was at liberty to work on music all summer; I had a melody in my head ready to come out. I had songs in my heart begging to be released for Emily.

On my first morning off, I sat down at the piano to write. Before I could get too lost into writing, echoes of my phone's vibrations against the wood of the piano startled me.

I answered, "Hi Em!"

"Angel," she greeted, much happier than last time we spoke a few days ago. "Can you take a week off of classes?"

My brow furrowed in confusion. "It's summer – I'm done with classes. Why?"

"Hotch forced us all on vacation. We all have a mandatory week off." My stomach fluttered in excitement, ready to actually have some summer vacation with Emily.

"When can I expect you home?"

"I stayed in Florida," she informed. "I was thinking you could join me. Can you come to Florida? Are you busy?"

"I'm just working on some compositions now," I explained. "Of course I can come to Florida." I was already mentally packing what I would need. Maybe I could run to the mall really quickly to get a new swimsuit to surprise Emily.

"I'll make sure you have access to a piano," Emily promised. "I'll find a hotel that will accommodate that."

"It's just a week, babe. I can take a week off."

"I think a week off will be good for us," Emily stated suggestively. An uninterrupted week of sex with Emily sounded like the perfect way to kick off summer.

I promised, "I'll get the earliest flight I can. I can't wait to see you."

"I was hoping you'd say yes. But don't you worry about flights. I'll make all the arrangements."

"You don't have to do that, Em. I can get my own flight."

"I told you, angel. I'm always going to take care of you."

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As soon as I got off the phone with Emily, I was racing upstairs to pack for our trip. I had only brought one swimsuit to Emily's and it wasn't very sexy. This old, modest, plain one piece certainly wasn't going to wow her. I packed most of my toiletries and clothes, and then grabbed my keys to run to the store.

According to the itinerary Emily had just sent, I only had a few hours left before the car would arrive to pick me up to take me to the airport. I was giddy about a car picking me up from home just to take me to the airport. Unfortunately, though, that meant I only had time for one store to pick out a new swimsuit.

Like a tornado, I swept through the store, grabbing everything in my path to make sure I got the best swimsuit for Emily. I grabbed swimsuits Penelope would be proud of me for trying, the ones that made me scared to even look at. I grabbed the ones that barely had any material, hoping Emily would be unable to keep her hands to herself. Standing in the mirror of the dressing room, staring at my near-naked body, I figured Emily would be quite pleased with my choices.

I raced back home, and in the blink of an eye, I heard the beep of a car horn from outside. I lumbered down the stairs with my way-too-large-for-a-week-away suitcase to get out the door. When I locked the house behind me, the driver immediately came to grab my bag. He held the door open for me to climb in the car. If this was any indication of how vacation would be, I couldn't wait to get to Florida.

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As soon as the plane's wheels touched down on the tarmac, I was bouncing in my seat like a child on Christmas morning. I was excited to see Emily, but I was also excited to have a real summer vacation. The Florida humidity immediately suffocating me as soon as I stepped onto the jetway nearly dampened my spirits. Nearly.

As soon as I exited the secured area of the Miami airport, Emily was there waiting for me with a resplendent smile and a warm embrace.

"Thank you!" I said genuinely. It was nice not having to worry about parking at the airport. "And thank you for booking my flight."

"Oh, angel." Emily grabbed my hand as we walked to the baggage claim. "You're welcome. Only the best for my girl."

As we waited for the luggage carousel to start shooting out bags, I turned to stand in Emily's arms. I traced the dark circles under her eyes and frowned. She always came back from a case tired, but she never looked beaten down. "Lots of sleep tonight."

"If you insist," Emily laughed.

"You can show me Florida tomorrow."

Emily shook her head and leaned forward slightly, lowering her voice, "The only thing I'm showing you of Florida tomorrow is the inside of our hotel room."

"If you insist," I repeated with a wink.

______________________________

As soon as we got back to the hotel – the nicest hotel I had ever been in – Emily was ready to go straight to sleep. I watched TV and rubbed her back while she fell asleep on me. While I normally liked to be the one in Emily's place, I knew she needed this comfort, and any physical contact I could have after such a long case was fine by me.

I woke, before Emily, to the Florida sun streaming through the gap in the curtains of our hotel room. I gazed around again in wonderment. This hotel was magnificent, like nothing I had ever experienced. Traveling with Emily Prentiss was luxurious, I could tell. I couldn't wait to see what she had in store for me today.

I reluctantly slipped out of Emily's arms to get some coffee and shower. I knew we'd likely spend all day on the beach, but this Florida humidity was killing me.

In the middle of my quick shower, I heard a soft, "Good morning, angel."

I popped my head out of the shower, a big smile on my face. "Good morning." She leaned in for a quick, wet kiss. I quickly finished my shower and stepped out. Emily was pulling her hair up into a bun. I silently thrilled at the sight; she so rarely pulled her hair back, but she looked so precious like this.

She whipped around and instantly pulled me into her. "I could have you like this all day," she whispered against my neck.

I pouted slightly – I had wanted to tease her with my new swimsuits. As much as I wanted to spend this week in Emily's arms, I also wanted to see the ocean. "You can have me like this in the ocean too," I pointed out meekly.

She chuckled and kissed my jaw. "We can swim, baby. Don't worry."

"One of us is going to need lots of sunscreen," I teased.

She huffed and replied, "One of us is going to need help putting that on." I gulped. Having my hands all over Emily sounded wonderful.

I giggled and called "Okay," as I pulled out of her arms to go put my swimsuit on.

Once we were ready, Emily showed me another surprise feature of our hotel room. The back doors opened up to a cabana and private section of the beach. The cabana had a canopy of white linen around it for privacy, the bed also swathed in white linen. My mind ran wild with what we could do in that cabana.

I slipped my coverup off, revealing the barely-there bikini I had chosen for this trip. Emily groaned and pulled me into her arms. "What is this?" she husked.

"A swimsuit," I answered falsely innocent.

Her fingers toyed with the ties at my hips, a finger dipping between the fabric and my skin. I shivered as Emily's nose trailed along my shoulder as her hands smoothed up and down my back. "You," she breathed, "Are such a tease."

"I'm not!" She slapped my ass, and my breath hitched at the slight sting.

"Really?" She tugged at the strap on my back, "When did you buy this, then?"

I swallowed thickly, knowing she was about to prove her point. "I don't recall."

She chuckled and pulled back. "Liar!" I couldn't help it, a rueful smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. "You can't fool me, baby," she teased as she tenderly swiped her thumb over my cheek.

I warred with myself once Emily had broken out the sunscreen. Smoothing my hands over her soft skin and strong muscles had me longing to use the cabana before us, draw the curtains around us and shut everything out. But I wanted to finally swim in an ocean that wasn't freezing cold. I wanted the full Florida experience. The longer my hands remained on Emily, the more I was willing to forget the waiting ocean.

Luckily – if it really could be called that – Emily kept her wits about her a bit better than I had. She tugged me away from the bed under the cabana and pulled us into the warm sun. I sighed feeling the sun kissing my skin, the water lapping at my ankles, and Emily's hand grasping mine.

I shrieked as she bent down and splashed me. I ripped my hand from her grasp and ran into the ocean. If I was already wet, she couldn't splash me too much. She chased after me, catching me as the tide caused me to lose my balance. She pulled me deeper into the water, the tide helping her. Once the water had covered most of us, her hands started wandering again. There was something about her soft, wet skin touching mine. Maybe it was that both of us were on vacation, relaxed. All I knew was I needed her.

I jumped up and wrapped my legs around her waist, the waves pushing us closer. Her mouth attached to mine desperately. My arms closed tightly around her neck, and I whined, "I can't get close enough."

"Baby," she gasped, "Was this enough time in the ocean?"

"No," I answered honestly; we had just gotten here. "But it isn't going anywhere."

She started walking with me wrapped around her like seaweed back to our cabana, her lips never leaving mine. Time always slowed down when Emily's mouth was on me, and in the blink of an eye, she was dropping me onto the bed underneath our cabana. In sync, we crawled up the bed, her mouth never leaving my skin.

"I missed you like this," I breathed heavily.

"You have no idea, angel," she muttered against my neck. Agonizingly slowly, she pulled at the ties at my hips, pulling my bikini bottom from my body.

"I need you," I whimpered.

"Patience," she cooed at me. "You can be patient for me, can't you baby?"

I shook my head, my legs tightening around her waist again.

She kissed me deeply, her tongue plunging into my mouth. "Tough," she teased.

I whimpered as she explored my body. She touched everywhere but where I needed her most. I clawed at the straps at her shoulders, wanting to push her own swimsuit down to reveal her gorgeous body.

She rolled us, pulling me on top of her. I trailed my mouth down her chest, pulling her swimsuit down as I went. I licked at her skin, salty from the ocean water. She arched her back up as I took a nipple into my mouth.

"I can't wait anymore," she gasped. "Turn around."

"What?" I asked confused. She pulled at my hips until I was facing her feet. She pulled my hips down to settle me over her face. "OH!" I exclaimed as it clicked for me that Emily wanted to 69.

Immediately, I dropped to my elbows, all too ready to please her as she pleased me. I clawed at the sheets as I felt her tongue swipe against me. "Emily," I sighed against the skin of her thigh. It took me a second to remember I was supposed to be going down on her, as well. I was too lost in the feeling of her tongue inside of me.

Emily lifted her hips up, signaling to me that I better get started soon. I dropped my head and licked long and hard against her pussy. I felt her moan against my clit, my legs tightening against her head in response. We drove each other faster and faster to our peaks. Like a race, we did everything we could to get the other off. Passion and our time apart drove our frenzy.

Emily slipped the tip of her finger into me, toying with my wetness. And shockingly, she slipped it higher and circled my other entrance. I stiffened in surprise, but pushed back and moaned. It felt surprisingly good. Emily's pleasure was long forgotten as soon as she pushed the tip of her finger ever so slightly into my hole. I started rocking against her finger and face, never having felt an orgasm approach this quickly.

I threw my head back in pleasure, moaning loudly into the open air. "Emily!" I chanted over and over. "Please!" She wiggled her finger slightly and sucked harshly on my clit. "YES!" I screamed as I came, the feeling of tightening around her finger new, but wonderful all the same.

I slumped against her, resting my head on her thigh as I came down. After catching my breath, I remembered Emily hadn't cum yet. I lazily dipped a finger between her folds and dragged her wetness around. I circled her clit lightly, lazily, still riding the euphoria from my own orgasm.

After a few minutes, Emily was at the end of her patience with me, pushing her hips up and huffing for more. I circled my finger faster, pushing back up onto my elbow for a better angle. I pushed my fingers inside of her and lowered my head to lick her clit. The angle was awkward; I had never pleasured her like this before, but I wasn't going to disappoint her. I scissored my fingers inside of her and alternated sucking and poking my tongue out to lap against her clit.

Her hand grabbed my hip, squeezing the flesh of my ass, nails digging into my skin. "Fuck, baby," she panted. "You're doing so good for me, Indi. Don't stop," she commanded. The cramp growing in my wrist would not stop me. I could hear she was close; there was no way I was stopping now. Her hands slid down to my thighs, nails dragging along the way. "Yes, baby. God yes! Fuck!"

I brought her back down, slowing my fingers and tongue, lapping up her juices, not caring that I was covered in her. "Come here," she sighed, tugging on my hips. I swung my leg over her and settled into the crook of her arms. She pressed a kiss to the top of my head and relaxed into the bed under the cabana.

We laid in silence for minutes, the sound of the waves rolling in and out, seagulls squawking overhead. Emily pulled the sheet up over us, and I lost track of time, perfectly content to lay here in silence. I sighed in Emily's arms, drawing myself closer to her, trying to draw out this moment together. The private cabana she reserved for us was absolutely incredible. The soft, Florida breeze blew over our bare skin, ruffling the linen sheet and tickling me. I didn't think life could get better than this. I wondered if Emily had enough money so that we could stay here forever and never work.

Emily sighed, drawing me out of our vacation bubble. That was her signal that she was overthinking something. "What's bothering you?" I asked. I traced my fingers lightly over her skin, subtly pushing the linen sheet down to see more of her. "The case is over. Hotch forced you on vacation; you're supposed to be relaxing."

She didn't answer me at first, leaving me to wonder what the next thing out of her mouth would be. After what seemed like hours, she responded, "So our agreed four months is coming up…" My stomach tightened with anxiety. I tried to keep my muscles from stiffening, knowing Emily would be able to infer something from that reaction. "In fact," she continued, "It ends today."

I panicked. As soon as we had become actual girlfriends, I had stopped counting. I thought our true feelings had extinguished our deadline. Why would she bring me to Florida just to break up with me? Why would she wait until we had fucked one last time? Was this her way to make it less awkward? So she didn't have to arrive home and kick me out? "Oh!" I breathed out, unsure what else I could say. "I hadn't realized."

"So uh…" she stumbled awkwardly. "Well, I know we're on vacation, and I don't want to keep you more time than we agreed." Wait what? Didn't she realize I'd take any time she'd give? "I can hire movers if you'd like, and that way you can just go straight home after we get back to D.C." Home was her house in the country, not my shabby city apartment.

"I just assumed…" I cut myself off. Now I was completely embarrassed. I had forgotten today was our final day because I hadn't realized I had a reason to continue counting down. "Are you kicking me out?" I blurted.

"No!" she nearly shouted. I was still so confused, it did little to assuage my anxiety. She pulled me closer and kissed my forehead. "I would very much like to keep you as long as you'll stay." I deflated in her arms, relaxing once again.

"So I can stay? I was operating under the assumption our timeline was up…"

"Yes, me too," she said earnestly. "For the most part," she amended. "We should have talked about this much sooner."

I smiled, thinking I was about to get one over on her. "Am I allowed to work now?"

"Absolutely not," she said firmly.

"Em!" I complained. "You can't keep paying me for sex." I was only half kidding.

Her lips pursed together in displeasure. "I didn't pay you for sex before, and I'm not paying you for sex now." I giggled, unable to keep my teasing to myself any longer. Realizing I was poking fun at her, she relaxed. "Alright, smart ass. No work."

"Why not?" I asked. I wanted to feel like I was giving something back to her.

She sighed, and paused as if to craft a response. "Isn't it enough to have your allowance?"

"And that's another thing!" I nearly shouted. "Why continue these insane monthly payments?"

"Need I remind you that you agreed to this?" she teased.

"It's unnecessary," I lowered my voice. "I don't want you to think that I'm only sticking around for a check."

"Oh, baby," she sighed. "I don't think that." She paused, as if she were uncertain about what she wanted to say next. "It's entirely selfish of me," she confessed softly.

"Selfish how?"

"I'm gone so much," she admitted, "I don't want you to be gone when I'm at work when I'm finally home." It all clicked for me, and it was a perfectly reasonable request. "Please, let me take care of you."

"Okay," I whispered. Though I would have rather worked, I could understand wanting to see her when I could. Our time was already so limited; I didn't want to limit that further by working on a day when she would be home. It was a reasonable request.

"Okay?" she asked, incredulous I had given in so easily.

"Yes. I get it."

"So, can I take you out tonight to celebrate?"

"What are we celebrating?" I asked.

"Our continued relationship."

"I was under the impression we already had a 'continued relationship,'" I pointed out.

"All the same," she ignored my teasing, "Let's go to a nice place for dinner. I take it you didn't bring a nice dress?"

"No," I conceded. "Should I have?"

"No," she said happily. "It just means I get to take you shopping."

Horrified, I exclaimed, "No!" Shopping meant we had to leave our warm, shady, naked oasis. Shopping meant I had to leave her arms and get dressed.

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I looked around in wonderment. Of all the nice places Emily had taken me in D.C., they didn't compare to Bal Harbour. It was like paradise here. The flowers and palm trees made everything seem tropical and lush.

"It's gorgeous here, Em," I gasped, my eyes darting around.

"I'm glad you like it. Maybe travel is the way to get you to let me spoil you," she teased. I rolled my eyes, and then thanked my lucky stars she was too distracted by pulling me into Chanel to see it.

"What kind of dress do you want me in tonight, ma'am?" I asked looking up at her with loving eyes. There was something about the Florida air that made me blinded to all but Emily.

"I want you in a little black dress," she said huskily.

"Short?" I wanted her thinking about putting her hands on my thighs.

"That's a given," she stated as she started shopping for me.

I followed Emily around the store until she found the perfect dress for me, and a new suit for her. I had no idea how this black suit was different than any of her other black suits, but I didn't say anything. I'd do whatever it took to get back to our cabana fastest.

Once we had finished in Chanel, Emily continued down the mall, and stopped in front of La Perla. While normally I would object to her spending more money on me, I wanted to see her dark eyes rake over my body, barely containing her lust. I wanted a repeat of this morning when she saw me in my swimsuit.

I grabbed her hand and dragged her inside, ready to find something that would drive her crazy tonight. I grabbed a few lace body suits, some bustiers, and some full sets with bras, panties, and garter belts. Emily sprinkled a few items into my pile, and pulled me to the fitting rooms.

"Do you require a fashion show, ma'am?"

"Of course," she smirked. "Have to know what I'm buying, don't I?"

"Yes," I laughed. "I'm sure that's the only reason," I teased with a roll of my eyes. Unlike the last time, Emily saw this one.

She pushed us into the next open fitting room, locked the door, grabbed my chin, and looked at my sternly. Her voice dropping enticingly low, "Don't let me see that attitude again, or I will take you over my knee."

I gulped, my breathing coming in shallower pants now. "Yes ma'am."

Emily did not break eye contact, her deep, dark eyes boring into my very soul. I could feel heat and lust pouring out of her, lighting a fire in the pit of my stomach. The air around us in the tiny dressing room charged with our electricity, causing the hair at the back of my neck to stand up on end. I wanted her.

I reached up on my tippy toes to initiate a kiss, to show her how she affected me. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and palmed the back of her neck, attempting to draw her closer. Emily's lips met mine, and I licked at the line of her lips, wanting to feel her tongue on mine.

Realizing what I was doing, Emily pulled back. "Oh no, princess." I pouted, and Emily whispered against my lips, "You are much too needy. You'll be far too loud to have sex in public." I pulled back and pouted, hoping my puppy eyes would get her to cave. She grabbed my chin and gave me a quick peck, and warned, "Don't think that pout will get you anywhere, brat."

I opened my mouth to protest, but before I could, she continued. "I said no. You can wait."

"I can't, ma'am."

"You can," she said firmly. "Because I said so." She kissed me on the mouth again, and I tried to quell the fire burning in the pit of my stomach. "Now let me see this," she commanded holding out the burgundy body suit for me to try on.

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Once we had finished at La Perla, we were headed back to the car – loaded down with bags – when Emily stoped in front of Tiffany.

"Emily, come on. This isn't necessary," I protested.

"I disagree. How else will you remember our Florida trip? This is the first time I've gotten to take you away." And somehow I was so touched. It was ludicrous to me that she thought I could forget any second spent together; every moment with her was precious. But suddenly, no matter how much it cost her, I wanted that commemorative piece of jewelry too. I wanted a physical marker to wear that would show everyone that Emily Prentiss took me to Florida and cared enough to buy me diamonds.

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When I had just finished putting the new diamond earrings Emily bought me in my ears, Emily came in holding my new shoes.

"God you're beautiful," she stated awestruck. She pulled me into her and kissed me deeply, smudging my freshly-applied lipstick. I wavered in her arms, not able to stay on such high tip toes for that long. Emily held my hip to keep me up, but I grabbed my heels from her grasp, hoping to level the playing field. She had her heeled boots on, after all.

"I guess I need these to kiss you better."

She smirked against my mouth, trying her best not to break our kiss. I stepped back to put my heels on, her eyes tracking my every movement. As her eyes raked over my body, I grew excited thinking about her undressing me later, uncovering what I put on for her underneath my dress.

Something tightened in the pit of my stomach at seeing the heat in her eyes. "You better get me to dinner, ma'am."

"Why's that?" she husked, inching towards me like a predator on the hunt.

"So you can get me home for dessert."

Continuing forward, she smirked, "I always did like starting with dessert."

_ _ _

Continue to next chapter

#🌬 fics #tastes like sugar #emily prentiss #emily prentiss x oc #emily prentiss fanfiction #emily prentiss smut #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds au #wlw writing

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moonstruckme · 5 months ago

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𖥔 — love you mwah! ; gossip with me ! on or off anon (whatever you're comfy with), I love hearing what's going on in your lives

you said gossip and i come running i love yapping

SO i work as a florist at a grocery store and i recently moved from one location to a new store that opened up as did my manager!! she moved over a few weeks earlier than i did, and the new manager that replaced her was an absolute MESS, me and all of my coworkers would always have to pick up all of her slack, she would come into work late and hungover, and i feel so bad for my one cw that didn’t move with the rest of the department because he still has to deal with her

anyways i kept hearing the most CRAZY shit about how the department was going downhill faster and faster under the new management so i went to check it out w my own eyes last week and IT WAS SO BAD 😭😭😭 i walked around the dept w one of my old coworkers and i literally just kept slapping my hand over my mouth bc i was so appalled at the state of it there was an arrangement sitting on display in the cooler that i had made right before i moved that was three weeks old and literally ROTTING in there it was so bad mae but it is also not my store not my problem anymore 😇

Oh my god!!! That's insane gross I can't believe they're getting away with that! Very glad you're somewhere else now babe, it sounds like it would suck to work in that environment and probably get complains from customers about things that are not your fault

Also I love how you went over there to see, that's so relatable I would be talking endless shit about them at my new branch

#mae's 6k

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perfectpaperbluebirds · 3 years ago

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Here Comes the Sun

This story literally came to me in a dream and got stuck in my head (teased in this post), so much so that I couldn't write anything else before finishing this. I didn't plan to make any more new OCs this year, but none of my existing ones fit this scenario, so here we are.

Meet Ella and Dan, a young couple traveling in a small wagon train heading west. Much more Little House on the Prairie than Oregon Trail, never fear. However, I was in the mood to write some angst with a happy ending and enjoyed it immensely. No sneezing, sorry in advance. Snz didn't really fit the tenor of most of the narrative here for me. This is fever p*rn with coughing. (Also… doctor kink? *nods* Doctor kink. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.)

Having gotten baby Mae to sleep not long before, Eleanor had drifted into a light doze, lulled to sleep by the soft prairie breeze and the warm noon sun on the canvas, just as her child had been. She was startled out of her slumber by the unfastening of the heavy canvas, heralding the arrival of her husband, Daniel. She rolled over, turning her back to the opening and pulling the baby closer against her as she did so.

The man was doing his best to enter quietly, and doing a poor job of it. It seemed he was managing to kick his boots against something every other step, causing Eleanor to roll her eyes. Thankfully Mae was a sound sleeper. With a groan and a soft, dry cough, Daniel lowered himself onto the nest of cushions and quilts beside his wife.

"I told you you weren't wanted in here," Eleanor said peevishly, not turning.

"I've not slept in two nights, Ella. I must rest," he croaked, his voice several pitches lower than usual and breaking over the vowels. "I got the oldest Simmons boy to drive for us when we start. I fear I'd fall off the seat if I tried."

Concerned in spite of herself, Ella glanced at him over her shoulder. "What ails you that you're losing your voice?"

"I'm not ailing, only bone tired," he mumbled, pulling his boots off. "I was on watch two nights past, then I was up all night again this past night helping Katie Miller bring her babe into the world. I had to talk her through it all, being that it was her first. The dust off the road has me parched. It's only one voice I've got, and now 'tis nearly gone. It'll be full gone if I don't get some sleep." He coughed again, as if to prove his point.

Eleanor sniffed dismissively, turning her head away again. "Serves you right, then. It's your own fault you're surrounded by dust. In fact, I'm glad you're plagued with a cough, because I'm plagued with this whole miserable journey!"

Daniel jerked as if she'd slapped him, and she silently begged him to lose his temper for once and yell back, so that some of her anger might be justified. Instead he sighed heavily.

"This move will be for the better, my love," he rasped, his voice worsening with every word. "Everyone else in the town was going. I couldn't leave them without a physician."

Hot tears stung Eleanor's eyes as she clutched Mae closer to herself. "How could leaving behind everything we know be for the better?"

"This is what we're meant to do. I know it."

"How do you know?!" she spat.

"I just know!" he shot back, this time with some vehemence. He paid for it though, as another cough strangled its way out and cut him off, forcing him to catch his breath. "You just have to trust. I'll make sure we're taken care of, I promise you," he said as soon as he could speak, his voice only a strained whisper now.

Eleanor bit her tongue, knowing further argument would be futile. They were already 2 weeks into this journey west. There was no turning back now. She let the silence linger instead, keeping her back turned.

Sensing the argument had ended for the time being, Daniel rolled over with a deep sigh. Out of spite, his wife almost insisted again that he find somewhere else to rest. However, as his breathing began to shift into the rhythm of sleep beside her, she realized she had missed his comforting presence these past weeks, and she knew Mae had as well, so in the end she let him be. Also, his cough troubled her, though she would never say so. Dan had a weak chest, and spring and fall were a misery for him due to hay fever and asthma, not to mention the weeks he spent abed each winter, coughing and wheezing from a cold that settled in his chest. The constant dust surrounding them couldn't be easy on him.

He slept long, as she expected, and even Mae's fussing and chattering when she woke hardly caused him to stir. With some irritation, Eleanor made an effort to keep the active infant away from her father. In fact, he didn't wake until the wagon train was stopping for the night, for only the dead could sleep through such commotion. Daniel sat up with the start as the wagon ground to a halt, looking disoriented and unwell, scrubbing at his face wearily.

Eleanor wasn't ready to make up with him quite yet, so she pretended she hadn't heard him, and instead scrambled down to the earth with Mae as soon as the wagon wheels slowed, casting hardly a backyard glance at her husband as she began to help set up camp and get supper started with the rest of the women. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him come out shortly after her, shoving his hat over his rumpled curls and coughing into his fist as he too began to pitch in, finalizing the arrangement of the wagon circle and gathering wood and water. She made a point not to watch him or even look at him often. However, she couldn't help but cringe each time she heard a man's cough, for it was nearly always Dan, and he sounded worse every minute.

The night progressed as usual, from camp setup, to supper, and eventually to bed, once it became too dark and cold for the fires to be of much comfort. Dan was clearly flagging long before darkness fell however, so much so that other men kept feeling the need to ask after his health or give him a reassuring clap on the back. Eleanor saw Joe Robbins, Katie Miller's father, slip a flask of whiskey into Dan's pocket at one point with a sympathetic look and a wink, murmuring thanks once again on his daughter and new granddaughter's behalf.

Her gentle husband accepted all of this in his usual way, with warm nods of thanks and murmured assurances that he was fine, no need to fret. However, as soon as supper was cleared up he made his excuses and crawled back into the wagon wearily. The sounds of his coughing lingered after he had gone though, easily heard around the fire. For that reason, Eleanor too retired to the wagon earlier than usual, taking her sleepy daughter with her, and leaving their companions murmuring in concern behind them.

Dan was huddled in the makeshift bed once more, bundled in two quilts. Eleanor knew at once that something was very wrong. Setting Mae down on the other side of the bedding, she ran to her husband, falling to her knees beside him and pressing her hand to his cheek. She found him burning with fever and plastered with sweat, but shaking with chills as if he'd never be warm again. He turned slightly upon feeling her touch, his eyes warming in recognition.

"Ella," he rasped. "You're here."

"Of course I'm here. Oh but my poor Dan, you're so ill… What has happened to you?"

"Only a touch of fever. It imagine it's from being out in so much night air these past days. Don't worry yourself. I only need to rest a while." He coughed then, hoarse and harsh, and the sound came from deep in his chest.

Eleanor grew even more worried. Casting around, she found a clean rag. Pouring a tiny bit of their precious water onto it, she began to gently bathe his face.

"Don't be wasting water on me," he croaked, gently pushing her hand away. "It's for you and Mae."

"This trail has been following the river. More water is close at hand," she soothed, continuing her ministrations.

He did not reply further, and seemed to slip into a restless doze. Restless though was the best word to describe his status through the rest of that night. He was clearly exhausted, but the fever wouldn't let him sleep. His pulse was racing, making him jump at every touch and sound, and he pivoted wildly between teeth-chattering chills and drenching sweats. Add to that his cough, soon becoming a phlegmy rumbling in his chest with every breath, and he was thoroughly miserable, though he never complained.

Eleanor couldn't hold onto harsh feelings for him when he so clearly needed aid, so she hardly stirred from his side the whole night through. She told funny stories to distract him from the wracking shivers, bathed his face again and again when he threw off his quilts, and held his hand when he caught a few moments of sleep, for he started whenever she drew it away.

By the middle of the night, he was coughing so much that he could hardly breathe, so she helped him sit up, propped against the side of the wagon box. His breathing eased some after that, so she sat down beside him once more. He let his weight fall against her, as if it was too heavy to bear, so that his head was pillowed on her shoulder. She accepted him gladly, rubbing soothing circles across his back.

"Do you need another drink?" she murmured after a time, shifting to hold more of his weight.

"Please," he croaked. "If there's enough…."

She located their water canteen and poured a few swallows past his cracked lips. He swallowed it down gratefully.

"It's a plaster for your chest we need," she sighed, listening to him cough yet again. "We need to do something more. If only we were home…."

She bit her tongue. Such statements weren't helpful now.

Inexplicably, he smiled a tiny smile. "Normally I might suggest you fetch a physician, but since I'm already here, it seems we'll have to make do as is. You're doing all that's needed. Although there is one more remedy at hand…."

He reached into his pocket and slowly removed the flask Mr. Robbins had given him. "It's not quite a hot toddy… Still, it'll do in a pinch," he rasped. Unscrewing the lid with shaking hands, he took a measured sip, grimacing as he swallowed.

"How is that treating you?" Eleanor asked anxiously.

"It warms me some, though I can't stand the taste," he said, taking another tiny sip and making a face. "I'd rather have the hot toddy. But something is better than nothing."

Despite his words, he was still shivering in earnest. His wife ran her hand up and down his back again and again as his eyes grew heavy.

"I do hope it helps you sleep at least,"she sighed. "I'm every sort of anxious."

"I'll be alright in no time," he breathed in response, his tongue heavy with alcohol and fatigue.

"How do you know you will? You could get much worse instead."

"I just know," he murmured, drifting into a doze again, head still pillowed against her shoulder.

In the darkest part of the night, Dan began to mutter in his sleep. He talked in his sleep as a matter of course, so at first Ella paid it no mind. He had asked to lie back down some time before and had been sleeping heavily since then, so she hoped he would settle on his own. Instead he began to shift restlessly beside her, and eventually escalated to thrashing about wildly, as if in the throes of a prizefight, crying out incoherently.

Ella couldn't bear to see him so, and began to shake him awake, tears forming in her eyes as she saw his evident distress. At first he seemed not to feel her and even pushed her away, so she renewed her efforts

"Dan… Daniel, wake, heaven help you!" she cried, giving him a final, fierce jerk. His eyes flew open with a gasp, but the gasp caused him to choke on himself and begin to cough, the harshest coughing fit she'd yet heard from him. In alarm she yanked him to sit upright, for he was turning a frightening shade of purple, his eyes wide with terror as he tried to gasp for air. The commotion wakened Mae, who also began to scream, and the walls of panic began to close in around Ella from the tremendous noise.

Dan, fortunately, seemed to calm a bit once he was sitting up, and he began to catch his breath and slowly control the coughing until he quieted at last–gasping, exhausted, and drenched with sweat, but still breathing. He slumped wearily against the side of the wagon with his eyes closed, hand on his chest, while Eleanor comforted Mae, all of them breathing heavily.

When the baby was asleep again, Ella returned to her husband's side, wiping the sweat from his face with a cloth. He was the warmest she'd felt him yet, and when he turned to look at her, his eyes were hazy and unfocused, and he could hardly keep them open.

"I'm sorry… for taking you… from your home," he wheezed, with great effort.

"Shhh," she soothed. "There's no need to talk.

"I'm… sorry…." he gasped again, his eyes slipping closed once more in sleep.

Ella would not risk him lying down again, so she kept him propped up against her for the rest of the night where she could feel him breathing. Slowly her panic subsided, and she found a measure of calm in the quiet night air as she allowed her mind to wander aimlessly. Eventually though, she too fell into a light sleep beside Dan, her exhaustion finally winning out.

Just as dawn was beginning to pinken the horizon, she woke again. At first she wasn't sure what had roused her, until she realized her husband had awakened against her, and was gently shifting around. Her eyes found his, which were clear and warm. He smiled, sitting up straighter.

"Good morning," he croaked through a yawn.

"Good morning to you," she replied, her hand going at once to his face. Her eyes widened, for he was cool to the touch. "Your fever has left you! What did you do?"

He chuckled, low and warm. "Nothing. Only slept beside you, as you saw."

"But… it's not possible. You were so ill… And now suddenly you're completely recovered!"

"Far from completely. I still have the same respiratory complaints," he corrected. "Though yes, I'm thankful the fever has gone." It seemed he would say more, but only coughed instead.

"You said you'd be alright in no time… and you were!” Eleanor said in awe. “How did you know?"

There came the warm, gently teasing smile she was so fond of. "I may have had some experience with this fever. A few nights ago Mrs. Simmons and her oldest son had a similar complaint, and Frank Dodd before that. All had a high fever for one night only, and were well by morning. I had the idea that I had contracted the same, and it seems I was correct. I just had the unfortunate luck to have the cough and asthmas along with it." He of course coughed again after such a long speech.

Overcome with emotion, Eleanor wrapped her arms around him in a hug. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, "For my behavior these past weeks. I should never have been so cruel to you."

He reached a hand out to caress her cheek, as she had his so many times over the past night, the warm smile still lighting his features. "All is forgiven. All is well." Another huge yawn cut him off before he could say more.

His expression of fatigue reminded her of her own exhaustion, and she rubbed her heavy eyes. "Perhaps you can ask Johnny Simmons to drive for you again today? I fear you might still fall off the seat if you tried to drive, weary as you are. And perhaps Mrs. Robbins will mind Mae."

"I'll do just that," he nodded. "Another day of rest for both of us… Oh, look, Ella! We've managed to greet the sun."

He nodded at the gap in the canvas wagon cover, and sure enough, the warm orange sun was showing its broad face over the valley where they were camped. She leaned against him while he wrapped his arm around her, and together they basked in the warmth of a new day.

#everyone is hotter with a fever #sickfic #historical sickfic #the best kind of sickfic of course #no snz #sorry guys #More snz is on the horizon though

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madsmazing · 3 years ago

Text

D.M.

Part seven

A/N: Soft Draco Time!!!! @octupus-on-the-moon

“I think I’m done playing this game.” I said standing up, and trying not to run to the washroom.

“What would possess you to say that?” I heard Liv demand, and Pansy laughed.

“You’re such a bitch, Parkinson.” Draco commented. I heard steps behind me and knew they were my friends, so I kept walking. Once I reached the bathroom, I leaned against the counter watching Ester and Liv enter the room.

“I know I didn’t tell you guys, I’m sorry. I was just so embarrassed when it happened and I still am.” I explained tears streaming down my face. I could handle the whole school knowing, but I couldn’t handle losing my best friends.

“Babe, we’re not mad.” Ester said, wiping my eyes for me.

“Not at you at least.” Liv stated, coming up and hugging me. Liv continued, “You are not required to tell anyone anything you don’t want to.” I nodded, they told me this all the time. I’m allowed to have boundaries, I just never let myself be okay with it.

“I know, but I shouldn’t have even played the game.” I sniffled. Somehow, in my head it will always be my fault no matter what the situation is. I could have found someway to prevent it.

“You couldn’t have known that Pansy was going to bitch out tonight.” Liv reminded. We heard a knock on the door. I quickly turned around wiping the tears off my face and fixing the mascara that ran a bit. I heard the voice of an angel start speaking, knowing exactly who it was.

He announced himself anyway, “Hey Mae, it’s Dray. Can I come in?” I nodded, before forgetting he couldn’t see me. Ester mouth, “Dray?” with her eyebrows raised, causing me to smile and roll my eyes at the same time.

“Yeah, come in.” My voice broke a bit, causing a sense of annoyance to wash over me at myself. Liv and Ester quickly left, making me laugh at their behavior. Draco walked in, immediately noticing I was crying. I guess I didn’t hide it well.

“Hey, Honey B.” I smiled at him, through my watery eyes. Letting out a soft, “Hey,” back. His tall frame towered over my still leaning one. I straighten up my posture, so I could look into his sliver eyes better. They weren’t light and lively right now, but rather a dark and stormy gray. He was still handsome either way.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him, he looked down at me before furrowing his eye brows. He place his strong hands on my hips, saying “I’m just going to lift you up, real quick.” I gave him a confused look, as he griped my waist and lifted me onto the counter with ease. “Oh okay.” I let out as he sat me on the counter, still standing in front of me. The cold granite touched the back of my thighs letting me realize exactly how freezing this bathroom was.

“Sorry, I just wanted to look you in your eyes.”

“It’s okay.” I whispered, trying to ease his tension. If I was so emotional, it would have been extremely attractive. It still was extremely attractive, let's be honest.

“You asked me what’s wrong, and I should be consoling you.” Draco let out a scoff. I looked at him, unsure of what to say.

“Mae, I know your parents. They were death eaters with mine. That’s why Pansy knows them too.” I nodded; I knew they were death eaters.

Harry’s limp body laid in the arms of Hagrid, looking completely lifeless. My parents stood next to Draco’s, and I didn’t know which was worse to be honest. Ginny started screaming no, at the top of her lungs, before her father held her back. I could feel my eyes filling up and I wasn’t sure which situation I was crying about. My mother and father are death eaters, and my boyfriend is dead. I haven’t seen my parents in years, and I hadn’t seen Harry in almost a year. It was all my trauma in the same place.

I made eye contact with my father, our matching eyes staying connected for a moment. He looked almost apologetic, before his face contorted with disgust again. I looked over at my mother, I looked the most like her. Light hair and freckles, but she had ocean blue eyes that made her stick out in any crowd. My mother’s eyes didn’t meet mine but focused on the Dark Lord’s speech with adoration.

The memory made me shiver in remembrance. I don’t know what happened to them after the war, honestly I wasn’t sure if I should care or not.

“Why didn’t you tell me, you knew my parents?” I questioned him; he rested his hand on my knee so casually. If it wasn’t for the warmth he gave off, I wouldn’t have noticed. His sliver rings nudged the skin on my legs as he started speaking.

“I think I just didn’t want to upset you. We weren’t even friends or anything until last year, and now... look I know I should have told you. I just didn’t want to make you feel hurt. I guess Pansy already did that. I’ll handle her, don’t worry.” Draco explained, assuring me. I didn’t know what handle her meant, but I was kind of okay with whatever it was. His hips rested between my thighs, making me quickly realize that this was the closest sexual encounter I’ve ever had with anyone. However, if Draco was any further from me I couldn’t imagine it feeling as comfortable as this felt.

“It’s okay, I already knew they were death eaters. I just didn’t realize you all hung out with each other that’s all.” He nodded, lacing his fingers with mine.

“Does that mean you forgive me?” Draco muttered, under his breath. His face was a finger width away from mine, and it took everything in me, not to pull him the rest of the distance. I was working on myself. I repeated that phrase in my head, like a mantra. This wasn’t about boys, or this man in front of me, this was about me.

“There is nothing to forgive.” I smiled at him, he smiled back at me. Not the signature smirk, but a genuine smile. Draco wrapped his arms around me, pulling my face into his neck. His sent invaded my senses as I breathed in deep. He always smelled like mint and wood, today he had a slight smell of the quidditch pitch from earlier. I wrapped my arms over his shoulders and let my fingers fall into his hair. His fingers gently stroked my back, in a comforting way.

“Pansy called you, Dray.” I stated, I don’t know why. It just kind of slipped out, maybe because being in his arms now made me realize I didn’t want his arms around anyone else. He chuckled against my hair.

“I knew you liked me.” His signature smirk was back, as he pulled back. His hands still on my waist and mine still on his shoulders but our bodies weren’t pressed against each other, causing me to feel the cold air against my body where he once was. My skin erupted in goosebumps. He touched his forehead to mine, making a smile grace my lips.

“Don’t worry about Pansy, she’s trying to get at you. She has never called me that before, she just did it to make it seem like we were something we aren’t. Pansy just knows my eyes are on you.”

“Oh, you have eyes on me?” I teased, our noses brushing against each other's as I let out a little laugh. Draco pressed his soft lips against my forehead, his fingers interlaced with my hair as his hand pushed my head into his lips. I closed my eyes relishing in the feeling of affection.

“Always have, Honey B, but you need to take care of yourself. When you're ready I’ll be here for you.” I almost started crying again for the fifteenth time today, from how sweet he was.

“Are you okay with waiting a bit longer?” I questioned, looking up to meet his eyes. They were light and sliver again, which I loved. I really wanted Draco but not this quickly after Harry. He was right, I did need time. Draco nodded his head, yes.

“It’s a bit selfish of me honestly. If I give you time, when you're ready, I get the best version of you. I really want to fall in love with you, and I can’t really do that if you haven’t fell in love with yourself. I’ll always be here to build you up, but I want you to do this on your own.” Draco’s words unlocked feelings I didn’t know I had. He was right, I did need to put myself first. This wasn’t just for my benefit, but the benefit of my relationships as well. I hugged him one more time, before he helped me slip off the counter. His fingers leaving impressions of themselves under my thighs.

Draco started walking towards the door, before turning around realizing I wasn’t following him. “You go ahead. I got to get my mind straighten out for a second.” I spoke letting out a breath.

“Hey Honey B-”

“I know, don’t tell anyone.” It kind of made my heart drop, but it is what it is.

“No, I don’t care anymore what anyone thinks. I was just going to say, that you are the most resilient person I know. If anyone can handle what you're going through, it’s you.” I smiled, thanking him as he left the bathroom.

#draco fanfiction #draco fic #draco fuckingmalfoy #slytherin x hufflepuff #slytherin #draco lucius malfoy #draco malfoy fluff #hufflepuff #draco smut #draco malfoy imagine #Spotify

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pankowfruitsnacks · 3 years ago

Text

Shattered JJ Maybank Chapter Thirty

master list | series master list

warning: angst

word count: 1006

———————-

Uncle Matt stood on the door step of the chateau. His eyes red and puffy. It's been a full day since Ava ran off. Everyone thought she would turn up by night fall, but there has been no word.

"JJ." The man called out. His voice broken and filled with tears. "Anyone, please."

JJ was in his room, clothes thrown everywhere, hair disheveled, when he heard the knocking. Usually his friends just walked in. JJ peeped through the blinds only to see a shiny silver Benz. "Uncle Matt," he muttered and rushed to the front.

He opened the door to see the man crying. JJ subconsciously wrapped his arms around him. "What happened?"

"She's gone." Matt kept repeating. JJ wasn't understanding what he meant. He knew he was talking about Ava, but JJ didn't want to entertain the idea that she died. Tears filled up JJ's eyes once again. The boy hated crying, but ever since Ava, it's been a side to him he couldn't hide anymore.

He exhaled a shaky breath. "Did she-"

"No. But I think she might. I was mad at the way she was living. Barely speaking, always cooped up in her room. I don't think I've seen her eat an actual meal in god knows how long." JJ's panic rose. "I asked her, 'What's the point of living? This is barely a life worth it.' She just ran out."

"When?"

"It happened last night. I thought she might turn up this morning, like last time, you know?" Usually Ava would run to JJ the second anything went wrong, but this time she wasn't.

"We're going to find her. It's going to be okay."

Uncle Matt's body continued to shake. "What if it's too late? It's my fault." JJ wanted to blame him, but he had no right.

"It's my fault just as much as yours. You love her and deep down she knows that."

"JJ, you love her too. Probably more than me."

"I don't have the right to love her. I left so she could be safe." JJ brought him inside to sit on the couch.

"She's always been the safest with you. I never had to worry. You did what you thought was best. Even if you didn't leave her, she would have left you. After the accident-" he stopped himself. JJ sensed it was something not to bring up.

"She can't die without knowing I still do. I would do anything for her."

"I know you will." They sat in a silence, filled with their cries.

"I promise I'll keep an eye for her." JJ tried everything to comfort Matt. A man who he loved like a father.

"Thank you. I think I need to go back to Mae and Macy. They've been a wreck. The police are doing everything they can to find her before it's too late." JJ's heart sank at the last sentence.

The young boy nodded, then sat in the chateau living room alone. He was unsure of what to do. Memories of Ava kept flooding his mind.

"Babe, come here for a second." She sat on a stool in the kitchen area. Her blonde hair tied into a low messy bun, pieces slipping out nearly everywhere.

JJ walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her neck and kissing the top of her head. "I love you." He smiled into the back of her hair.

"Look at this." She points to her computer screen showing a baby goat in pit viper sun glasses.

A deep chuckle erupted from his stomach. "Really? You wanted to show me this?"

"Look at how cute it is. I want it." Ava giggled turning to the boy.

"I'll buy you a thousand just to see you smile, princess." He now pressed his lips to hers.

JJ could never get enough of her taste and the way she felt against him. Now the thought he might never get to even see her again wounded him. JJ was never religious by any means but he prayed for her safety and a chance to make it right. To hold her in his arms and love her the way she deserved.

More memories came to mind as the tears kept streaming down. He was frozen on the couch.

"Ava." JJ smothered the girl in kisses, exploring the beauty of her bare body. "I love you. For everything you are, everything you're not, everything you were, and everything you will be. I love you." Each night they spent together, the two ended pressed against one another, his torso wrapped around hers.

A tear slipped from her eye. "Why are you crying, Ace?" The girl rolled over facedown into a pillow, creating distance between them. JJ instinctively grabbed a spare blanket and wrapped it around her body, pulling her back into him.

Typically, he would forego touching her when she got emotional after intimate moments like that. Sometimes her mind brought her back to her past. But this time he sensed it's wasn't about sex.

JJ traced his fingers along side her face, down her sides, and resting them on her hip. "Baby?"

"Do you really love me?" Sincerity shined through every pore of her body.

"I've told you a million times. And I'll tell you a million more. I love you more than anything in the world." She kissed him, taking his breath away once more.

JJ spent the rest of the night worrying about Ava, remembering all the good that she brought into his life. Before Ava, he spent his life angry and bitter. He was impulsive and destructive. Then she showed up and taught him what it meant to love someone other than himself and small group of friends. Now he learned what true loss was. Not the kind he felt when his mom left or the lack of his father being presence. It's the kind of loss poets describe when they say 'if you love something, set it free.' This time JJ is hoping that she'll come back to him.

#outer banks cast #rafe outer banks #outer banks x reader #outer banks imagines #outerbanks #jjmaybank #jj maybank #jj maybank imagines #jj x reader #john b routledge #johnbroutledge #sarah cameron #kiara carrera #kie carrera #pope heyward #angst #slow burn

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makeitquietly · 4 years ago

Photo

A quick recap of what criticism I remember reading about this Blu-ray set: nobody agrees about the picture quality, or on which films it’s best/worst, but it’s on the waxy/soft side mostly because of too much digital cleaning or whatever, the sound is said to be good, some hissing, out of sync in the 1936 version of Berth Marks, extras are good too, no Blu-ray logo on the case, no booklet, awkward menu always reverts back to beginning, no play-all possibility, the films are not in the order of making/release.

But a lot of people worked very hard for a long time to make this set available. Which is why nothing negative should be said about it? Eh. Next time go for quality instead. Or don’t sell your product. Make it a fanwork.

Anyhow, if I was all powerful and had commissioned someone to restore these films, I’d make them go back and do it again if this set was presented to my ruling eyes.

OTOH, I paid 99 euros for this package and have had lots of fun with it and if there’d been Stan’s scrapbook (pages) amongst the galleries, I’d happily paid double. It’s not about the money spent except when people imply that negative reviews aren’t allowed. I’d paid 99 euros for the galleries alone.

It’s about the fact that the films aren’t as well restored as they should/could be. Beyond me, why it’s so difficult to admit. And it’s clearly not only an issue of getting waxified during some final cleanup or somehow being ruined when transferred to Blu-ray disks.

Any idiot (me) knowing nothing about the processes involved can easily confirm this by watching how different films on the same disk have different quality, likewise first reel can be almost okay, the second much worse, scenes and cuts have often annoyingly varying quality, even single frames look like they came from different prints and nothing was done to make them fit more seamlessly in their surroundings. And I’m not talking about that one wandering frame in Scram!, which must be some person’s idea of a joke, how else could it be so out of place?

Or didn’t anyone watch these that one last important time since it wasn’t removed, nor were the countless spots still there in most of the films? I know, when things get cleaned up that one remaining crumb is much easier to spot... er... see my point?

There are also jumpy frames, which I imagine would’ve been easy to adjust, and to prevent those ubiquitous flashy cuts, you’d only needed to adjust the brightness of that single frame causing the flashing. Even I have done that on GIMP when making gifs. I’m guessing too much contrast on, say, Me and My Pal isn’t a problem created by the wax people either.

The ridiculously softly glowing Brats might be, there’s an awful lot of glowing in One Good Turn too, and in parts of Sons of the Desert, for example, where faces are dangerously close to have that overly scrubbed look, which is a big problem in The Chimp and Come Clean.

When it comes to wax, Helpmates and County Hospital are the most hideous, the latter must be the worst looking of all the films in this set, being also awfully spotty as well as too dark. It’s got other faults too, like wonky frames. The Music Box has a pretty decent first reel (except for the opening scene), and despite not being able to see the stripes on Stan’s and Ollie’s pants because of too much contrast, Me and My Pal is also clearly better wax-wise in the first reel.

It’s interesting to watch some of these films for the first time, thinking that this is crap quality picture, but then the second reel is even worse and suddenly there’s a whole new level of crappiness.

I think the sound is ever so slightly out of sync for a bit in Way Out West and One Good Turn. At least it is compared to those same films on my 21 DVD set. In addition to being very clearly out of sync in that Berth Marks reissue like others have noticed. Berth Marks also has a weird stripey “cover” over the actual film. I suppose it was impossible to remove.

Even with some sync problems, if I had to choose the best restorations from this new collection, Way Out West would be on my list, together with Busy Bodies, Hog Wild and Towed in a Hole. Some parts of Sons of the Desert look gorgeous. With grain and all. Pretty much like Atoll K but unfortunately not as consistently. (Atoll K was restored by different people, I gather.)

The much anticipated but already online for free since 2019 The Battle of the Century then? Well, the first reel is quite good, or would be if it wasn’t a weird blend of an ugly greenish yellow or yellowish green. Sepia isn’t what it used to be. And I would’ve thought they’d made sure to get all those black spots removed at least from this one what with it being one of the “new” things on this set. The second reel is worse except colour-wise. But at least it’s there complete with Charlie Hall and the “what pie fight” ending.

Haven’t mentioned The Midnight Patrol, Their First Mistake or Twice Two yet. The last two are pretty evenly waxy, and comparing The Midnight Patrol to Come Clean and The Chimp makes it not that bad. There’s no actual need to bleach faces or an excuse for Billy Gilbert’s patternless shirt, is there?

For me the treasures from this set can be found on each disk under galleries. Even for those not interested in scripts, press material, posters and assorted documents, there are circa 1,400 photos, many of which really are rare, or at least I’d never seen them before. One of the gems are the about 140 photos from Babe’s Vim days. Awesome! Nothing as gemmy from Stan’s past before Laurel and Hardy, and someone put wrong names on the photos where he appears with the Hurleys, not the Cookes. Yes, there’s a short, handy description for most of the photos.

So many of them and I must peruse more, of course, but I’m going give a special mention to Stan with both Loises on the set of Brats for adorableness and likewise to Thelma Todd for previously unseen (by me) variations from her photoshoot on that bathroom set. Love the six new-to-me photos of Stan and Babe together on the 1932 British tour especially. Great stuff. Oh, and Mae Busch, Dorothy Christy and Charley Chase in their Sons of the Desert portraits look fabulous.

Another treasure are the interviews with only a couple of slightly dubious moments. Joe Rock made me grin. George Marshall made me cry. Walter Woolf King made me laugh. Most wonderful. Short introduction by Randy Skretvedt for each interview. He’s the one who did the interviewing too. There’s 15 of them altogether. Plus a chance to hear composer Marvin Hatley perform Honolulu Baby and Will You Be My Lovey-Dovey. The audio only interviews come with some more great photos.

I kind of adore how Richard W. Bann casually debunks Anita Garvin’s The Battle of the Century story with one dry line during his commentary of the film. Hurts so good. Let’s have more debunking!

Speaking of the commentaries, and maybe more about them on some other occasion, Bann only comments The Battle and The Music Box, all the rest, including That’s That and The Tree in a Test Tube have commentaries by Randy Skretvedt.

I was expecting Bann to tell the whole story of why it took so long to get The Battle on video but he didn’t; fair enough, I thought, but then in his other commentary he goes on about his grudge with a dead guy, so I guess it was not his, um, politeness that stopped him from dishing on the much more recent and therefore interesting stuff. What then?

Perhaps a third person sharing the commentary duties would’ve been a good idea. That was my thought when Skretvedt obsessed over Stan’s smoking for the third time. By obsessed I mean he listed all the films where, according to him, Stan smokes. What for, you may wonder. I did. No answer. I remember reading somewhere that Stan not smoking in the movies means he’s a child. (Yes, some Laurel and Hardy fans are somewhat weird sometimes. Aren’t we all?) Maybe Skretvedt was trying to debunk that theory? Hehe, okay, I know he wasn’t, because he did the “they’re children, Hal Roach said so” routine in his Their First Mistake commentary, complete with Charles Barr quotes to prove there’s nothing gay about Ollie liking Stan more than his own wife. Made me fume. I don’t know why. Nothing new.

I don’t know why it doesn’t occur to him that if Ollie didn’t spend so much time with Stan, Mae wouldn’t be the lonely, disappointed wife who ends up wanting a divorce after one too many lies from Ollie and accuses Stan of alienation of Ollie’s affections. But no, apparently it’s no wonder that Ollie likes Stan more than his wife because she hits him with the broom. So the hitting came first and then too much time spent with Stan? I don’t think so.

Anyhow, third person, more variety, something newer, or at least an explanation for Stan’s smoking being of particular importance. Ollie’s smoking isn’t mentioned. Also, to digress even more, I always found the claim that Stan doesn’t smoke because he is a child odd, not only because he does, but also because he drinks alcohol too and manages to be married in several films. But the Laurel & Hardy child squad of course thinks the wives are actually their mothers. (Yes & again, weird.)

I did and do also wonder if there would’ve been anyone available and even if there had been, if these old school fans had accepted someone with different views. Probably not.

Still waiting for Skretvedt to notice Stan’s camera looks. Maybe he just hasn’t been a fan for long enough yet... 😛

I’m out of steam now. Need to rehydrate.

One more thing: No booklet, so maybe nobody involved wanted to spread about their name more than absolutely necessary knowing the restoration work was, shall we say, uneven?

Tl;dr: Uneven restoration work. Great extras. Mostly interesting commentaries.

#Stan Laurel #Oliver Hardy #Laurel and Hardy #the definitive restorations #2020 #2020s

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battyaboutbooksreviews · 2 years ago

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Fiction by Arab and Arab American Authors

🦇 Happy Friday to all my bookish bats, dragons, and babes! I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, whether it's spent cozying up with a good book, spring cleaning, or out with loved ones. 🦇

🌙 This month is Arab American Heritage Month; a celebration that too often falls behind the collective shadow of others. In an effort to remedy that, here are nine stories by voices in the Arab and Arab-American community that deserve a little light. These stories range from romances to suspenseful mysteries, so there's something for everyone! Consider adding a few to your ever-growing TBR in your effort to celebrate fresh voices and perspectives this year.

📖 Books Mentioned 📖

🌙 The Skin and Its Girl by Sarah Cypher 🌙 Between Two Moons by Aisha Abdel Gawad 🌙 Watch Us Dance by Leïla Slimani 🌙 This Is All Your Fault by Aminah Mae Safi 🌙 You Exist Too Much by Zaina Arafat 🌙 The Final Strife by Saara El-Arifi 🌙 Mother of Strangers by Suad Amiry 🌙 The Tale of Prince Fatima, Warrior Woman by Melanie Magidow 🌙 The Other Americans by Laila Lalami

#arab american heritage month #books #book recommendations #arab americans #reading #battyaboutbooks #batty about books

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abarbaricyalp · 4 years ago

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You Are Artwork (I could admire you forever)

Flower Shop/ Tattoo AU/Coffee Shop AU

Pynch, Rated: T, No archive warnings apply

@pynchpromptweek

AO3 Link

“Okay, lemme see your deck again,” Ronan said, slamming the BMW door behind him and hopping onto the concrete walkway in front of the the strip center. Adam followed him, lazy and easy and happy, and spread his deck over the warm hood of the car. “No, face up,” Ronan ordered, and Adam scooped them back up and flipped them over.

“This defeats the purpose of drawing a card,” Adam said drily, leaning into Ronan’s side as Ronan reached out to pluck the Magician from where it was stuffed between the Emperor and the Lovers. He tapped the edge of the card against the hood and held it up for Adam to look at. “I know what it looks like,” he assured with a half grin. “I know it’s your favorite.” He gathered the cards up again and Ronan finally handed over the card. Adam placed it back to back with the deck and a thrum of energy ran up his arm pleasantly before he replaced the deck in his back pocket.

“You’re gonna look so hot, babe,” Ronan said, walking on Adam’s good side, which meant he was between Adam and the buildings, which meant he kept Adam from detouring into his favorite tarot shop.

“I’m so nervous I think I’m gonna vomit,” Adam answered.

“Hope you’re not getting it on your stomach, then.”

Adam didn’t answer and he felt Ronan’s eyes flicker over to him but he still didn’t say anything.

“Anyway, you better not get one on your stomach. I may break up with you.”

“It’d be awful of you to essentially brand me and then leave me on our anniversary,” Adam finally said, rolling his eyes.

“Letting you choose your own tattoo and shit isn’t the same as branding you. It’s not my fault if you wanna put my face on your body. Can’t blame you, but it’s not my fault.”

Adam snorted and elbowed Ronan’s ribs before they came up on the new tattoo shop. Adam had liked the feel of it as soon as he’d gone in out of curiosity when it opened and one of the artists had worked with the guy who’d done Ronan’s tattoo. They’d watched it for a while and Ronan got too invested in everyone who worked there and the art was good and a late night bad idea had turned into anniversary gifts. If it could be considered a gift when they were each paying for their own.

The only catch was, they’d been working on it for three weeks and hadn’t told each other anything about their tattoos. Adam definitely worried about his own tattoo but he couldn’t begin to imagine what Ronan was planning to add to his sprawling masterpiece. He was so fond of it the way it was, that the thought of it changing made his heart ache.

When their respective artists came out, Adam found his fingers clenching around Ronan’s in a moment of childish selfishness and fear. The artist Adam had been working with--Mae--smiled gently. “You know, you could always just sit with each other,” she suggested. “I have my next slot open too. I could wait.”

“Get fucked,” Ronan said and Adam pretended like he didn’t notice all the bravado in his voice as they shook their hands apart. “We said we were doing it this way. We’re doing it this way.”

“He just doesn’t want anyone to talk him out of his tatt,” Ronan’s artist said. “It’s pretty out there.”

“If you make my boyfriend puke, I’ll kick your ass,” Ronan warned.

“If Devon gave his blessing, how bad can it be?” Mae said, for Adam’s benefit. When the guy who’d done Ronan’s original tattoo had given his own for this guy to do the addition, half of Adam’s worries had disappeared. Well, until this afternoon when they’d piled into the car and it all became much more real.

Adam took a deep breath and his worries were side tracked as Ronan reached over to muss his hair roughly and then grinned at him. “Catch you later, handsome.”

“Only if you’re lucky,” Adam responded with his own grin. They knocked their fists together and Adam followed Mae back to her work space.

“Alright, Adam, you can leave your jeans over there. Didn’t I tell you to wear sweats?” she asked as she prepared her space.

“Yeah, but it would’ve given it away,” Adam said with a shrug. “I told you, I can handle pain and irritation. We’re not that far from y’all anyway. I’ll change when I get home.”

Mae hummed and tossed Adam what looked like a sock. “Put it on now,” she suggested. “We’re gonna have to get pretty far down your groin and I don’t want you fumbling with it while there’s ink on you.”

Adam stared at it for a second and felt a jolt of regret. But he shook it off and reached into his boxers to fit the not-sock over his length. It was awkward and heavy but welcome. He wanted to be the cool suave guy who didn’t care what people saw, but he was decidedly not that guy and he really liked Mae, so keeping her sanity intact was important to him too.

He hopped up on the chair when Mae motioned for him to and pushed his boxers down as far as he was willing to. “I’m gonna shave you first,” Mae explained, not for the first time. “And then sterilize the area. No need to jump yet.”

And, really, by the time it was all said and done, the pain was no more than he was used to. Just a bit sharper and longer laster. Some spots hurt worse than others, but he’d been prepared for that. Mae had really, really, really tried to talk him out of his placement for a first tattoo, but it was the only one he was getting and it meant something and he wanted it where he wanted it. Which, he guessed, Mae understood because she didn’t argue with him again after that.

She did snigger when he didn’t bother trying to button his jeans though, which he defended with an exasperated, “How was I supposed to know?!” and wave of his arm, to which she responded by handing over an aftercare book and sending him back to Ronan’s waiting arms in the parlor.

They lasted eighteen hours before they were pulling each other’s clothes off under the guise of helping put cream and ointments and new bandages on. Adam found the mess of bandages on Ronan’s side, just below his ribs, wrapping around his waist. When he uncovered it, he found more black ink in bold strokes, like the rest of his tattoo. At first, Adam thought there was only more vines, intricate roots continuing from the tree, but once his eyes adjusted, he realized it was a man--a magician.

“Is this my card?” he asked, ghosting his fingers featherlight over the tattoo.

Ronan still sucked in a soft breath, though it was up for debate if he was in pain or if it was the normal way he gasped any time Adam was near him. “Yeah, it’s your Magician,” he said. “My magician.”

Adam was wrong, it wasn’t just black. There were faint green lines, so immediately different from the rest of the tattoo that Adam couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed it. They made vines tumbling out of the Magician’s hands, pooling around his feet and sneaking into the rest of the tattoo.

When Adam traced them, Ronan said, “Because you’re interwoven with me. All of me.”

“Not going anywhere,” Adam promised, leaning up to kiss Ronan.

Ronan found Adam’s bandages when his hands went to Adam’s hips and he barely paused before hoisting Adam up to carry him towards the bed and dump him backwards onto it, much to Adam’s fond delight. Ronan crawled over his thighs and leaned down to kiss his way down Adam’s chest to his stomach as his hands gently pulled at the sweats he’d been living in.

Ronan’s mouth suddenly leaving the flushed skin of Adam’s lower abdomen had the man keening in response, legs pushing against the cool sheets of their bed helplessly. “Ro,” he whined and turned his face towards his arm, fingers tightening in his own hair.

“Jesus motherfucking Christ, Parrish,” Ronan breathed, fingers brushing the clean edges of Adam’s hips, away from his tattoo.

Adam lifted his head lazily, gazing down at the span of his body. The critical gaze he’d cultivated as a lonely teenager had been washed away years ago by a habit of looking at his body the way Ronan might be seeing it. Right now, it looked like familiar tan skin, cuts of muscle, scars that he was beginning to look over without pausing. Then, at his hips, a bouquet of color.

Bouquet was the proper term too. Blooming over his hip bones and continuing down his adonis lines were stalks of lavender, bushels of baby’s breath, and rich green vines with thick ivy leaves. Even through the bruising, the colors were exactly how he wanted them to be.

"When I gave myself over to Cabeswater, my nightmares got worse. But Cabeswater was always there to soothe the tension almost immediately. I'd get wrapped up in the forest and always the first thing it held were my hips, to keep me still, I guess. And my hips are always the first thing you grab too, whether it's falling in bed or being jolted awake in the middle of the night. So I wanted to remember that. Even when I'm waking up alone, I have magic. I have you."

Ronan’s thumb glanced over one side of the tattoo and he let out a shaky breath, hungry eyes flicking between the tattoo and Adam’s face.

“You really know a thing or two about product placement, huh?” he asked and Adam laughed breathlessly, throwing his arm over his eyes.

“Just kiss me, asshole.”

And Ronan did.

#pynch #fanfiction #adam parrish #ronan lynch #writing #otp: in more than his lips #tattoo au

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lailaliquorice · 5 years ago

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when everyone who loves me has died

For the anon who requested parrlyn angst with boleyn comforting: I give you this very very sad piece of something.

Normally when I do hurt/comfort it’s physical, but this is just sad. Although I haven’t written kid fic yet (and this isn’t that as a disclaimer) I am very fond of the children plus my fave Jane Grey and reading about Parr’s relationship with both Bess and Jane before she died gives me a lot of feelings. Now this does overlook the discourse over Parr’s alleged part in the Th*mas Seymour bullshittery, but because this is a work of fiction it follows the notion that Parr sent Bess away to protect her and nothing else.

With that said and done, I hope you enjoy me pouring feelings out <3

It wasn’t usual for Cathy to shut herself in her bedroom-study for hours upon hours as she worked. Anne didn’t understand how she could stay focused on one thing so long but she never stopped admiring her girlfriend’s dedication to the causes she thought important, only ever stepping in when she got worried that Cathy was putting her work over her health. She never blamed Cathy for getting too caught up to remember she was still human, and was always willing to give her a gentle reminder to eat or sleep or just take a break whenever it was needed.

But she felt like she was right to be concerned one day when she came back from the theatre on Cathy’s random show off night to see her bedroom door shut. Normally she would always be waiting downstairs for them when they came home, having enjoyed some time to herself but happier to have her family back with her. And as much as Cathy called promises she was ok just busy from behind the door when Anne knocked and Jane assured her that she was probably just caught up in something, she couldn’t help the persistent feeling as she climbed the stairs to her bedroom that all wasn’t right.

And that only worsened when there was still no sign of her by dinner the next evening.

It was normal for Cathy to spend their Sundays off making up for lost researching time so Anne didn’t know why she was surprised to not see her in the kitchen when she came down for breakfast. She was too distracted by worry to get anything productive done so passed the time by shadowing Aragon and Jane as they did their weekly clean of the house, grateful to them both for giving her mindless tasks without asking her too many questions. Though when evening came and she still hadn’t said a word to anyone, Aragon and Jane’s concerned expressions gave Anne the permission she needed to race up the stairs towards her room.

“Hey, babe?” she called quietly as she knocked on the door, ear pressed to the wood so she might better hear any response. “Are you ok? We’re worried about you.”

Only silence answered her question.

A worried furrow appeared in her brow and she placed a hesitant hand on the door handle. “Cathy?” she said again, unable to stop the slight tremble in her voice at the thought of why she might not be answering her. “If you don’t answer me I’m gonna come in, ok?” She left it a few seconds before giving up on that hope, pulling in a shaky breath to try and steel her nerves before she slowly pushed the handle down and opened the door.

Chaos greeted her. Cathy’s desk was rarely completely tidy but the mess of papers had completely taken over her room; crumpled sheets of scribbled writing were scattered everywhere and the back cover of a notepad lay below a smudged mark on the wall, as if it had been thrown across the room and exploded on impact. Books had been pulled out of the bookcase and abandoned all over the place with one open on the desk which looked as though there had been pages ripped out. Blue post it notes that Anne had brought her covered the wall behind her laptop screen. The bed was unmade though it still didn’t look slept in, making Anne wonder with a jolt of fear if Cathy had even rested in the last 24 hours.

With all the destruction everywhere, it took Anne’s eyes a good few seconds to look past it in order to try and find where Cathy was. The sound of a stifled cry made Anne’s head whip round towards Cathy’s desk, and now that she knew where to look she saw the figure curled up beneath it amongst a nest of screwed up pages. Her knees were pulled up to her chest with her fingers snagged in her hair and was shaking uncontrollably.

Anne wasted no time in rushing across the room towards her, paying no heed to the papers beneath her feet, though forced herself to slow down before she reached her so as not to spook her. “Cathy, sweetheart, it’s me,” she said gently as she crouched beside her, waiting a moment to see if her voice alone could penetrate whatever state of mind Cathy was trapped in.

When she received no response she laid a gentle hand on Cathy’s knee, drawing back immediately when Cathy flinched in surprise and looked up at her. “Hey you,” Anne whispered, looking into her girlfriend’s red-rimmed eyes and at the tears streaking down her face as her chest clenched in sorrow.

“Hey,” Cathy rasped, her voice croaky from disuse. She looked about to say something else for a moment, mouth ajar and chest stilling, before she just ducked her head again and muttered “Sorry.”

“No, there’s nothing to be sorry about. You’re ok, we’re both ok,” Anne said as soothingly as she could, taking one of Cathy’s hands and gently untangling it from her hair to hold close to her chest.

Cathy shrugged but didn’t pull away, uncurling herself a little to sit slumped with her knees resting against Anne’s. “Shouldn’t have shut myself away like this though,” she said. Her other hand dropped to her side as she spoke and landed on one of the discarded papers, which she barely looked at for a second before crushing in a white-knuckled fist.

Watching her expression change, Anne felt a pang of sadness that the hobby which normally brought Cathy so much joy had caused her so much pain. “Still doesn’t mean you have to apologise,” Anne said, giving Cathy’s limp hand a gentle squeeze. “You want to tell me what happened?”

Sniffing, she rubbed the sleeve of her hoodie under her eyes in an attempt to dry her ravaged cheeks. “I was stupid,” she started, a note of frustration creeping into her distraught tone. “Don’t know why I thought looking her up would be different this time round. I didn’t find anything the first time or the second time or this time or any other time in between but I just can’t get myself to quit. I can’t get myself to give up on her.” Her voice was almost inaudible as she uttered that last sentence.

It wasn’t hard for Anne to guess who Cathy was talking about. Her most precious secret. Mae.

“And then when I couldn’t figure out what happened to her starting putting together what happened to all the others. They all suffered so much and I hate that so much. Bess – your Bess – what that horrible, awful man put her and Edward through. And I never knew until it was too late. I tried so hard to protect her while I could but then I left them all alone with that monster! I knew after Bess and I was going to protect them all but then I died and I left them alone!”

Anne could only stare as Cathy’s voice rose in both pitch and volume as her distress mounted. The comment about Elizabeth had caught her off guard, her hands stilling from where she’d been stroking Cathy’s hand, momentarily wrapped up in the anger she’d been seized with when she first learned what happened to her precious daughter.

“They were children,” she spat bitterly. “Just children, left alone and used by everyone who cared what they could use them for but never about them.”

The defeat in Cathy’s face was enough for Anne to shove her misgivings away to focus on what was at hand. “You cared,” she reminder her quietly, squeezing her hand lightly.

Fresh tears flowed down Cathy’s cheeks as she gave a hollow smile. “I cared so much. They were incredible. Bess was so witty and determined, Jane so clever and kind. And Mae was just perfect. I was going to look after them all, teach them how to survive, keep them safe. Me and my girls. We were going to be a family,” she whispered.

Silence followed her last words and Anne let it, too caught up in just watching the incredible woman before her to say anything with any meaning. It never failed to amaze her just how much strength Cathy had shown in those old days. What she’d done to keep herself alive and protect her little prodigies while she could. “It would have meant so much,” Anne pointed out after a while, giving her a nudge with her knee.

Cathy nodded, rubbing her eyes again. “I know,” she said hoarsely, giving Anne a grateful glance before bowing her head and falling quiet again.

“But I let them down.”

Anne looked up from when she’d been trying to read a nearby sheet of paper with Bess’s name on, glancing with trepidation at the lines of fury etched into Cathy’s face. It was very rare that Cathy was ever this angry, preferring to channel her emotions into strength rather than let them rule her like Anne was prone to doing, and she’d have been lying if she said it didn’t scare her a little.

“I died,” Cathy continued, voice dark and dangerous. “I left them in the lion’s den. And now look what happened to them; Bess was hurt and interrogated with no one to fight for her, Jane was used and paid with her life for someone else’s ambition, and they let Mae disappear. No one cared about the daughter of two ex-somebodies. I should have been there, I should have fought harder for them because no one else cared enough to do it.”

“No, sweetheart, it wasn’t your fault. They could never have blamed you,” Anne said, tugging lightly on Cathy’s hand in a fruitless attempt to make her look up from where her gaze was lowered in shame. She’d already had that conversation with Jane once before, trying to convince her that she wasn’t to blame for leaving Edward behind. “You can’t blame yourself for your death. You’d never have left them if you had the choice. You loved them so much and you couldn’t change what happened,” she insisted gently.

When Cathy only gave a hum in response, Anne reached out to cup her jaw with one hand and tilt her chin upwards. She smiled sadly at the loss in Cathy’s eyes, kissing her temple before pressing their foreheads together and murmuring “Thank you for doing what I couldn’t do for her.”

Cathy sighed as her head fell sideways into the palm of Anne’s hand. “Thank you,” she said, smiling for a second before her expression crumpled again. “I’m sorry I got caught up in everything, I was just desperate to find something to reassure myself and got so frustrated and now I haven’t slept at all and I don’t feel very well and-“ she broke off with a sob, burying her face in her hands.

Anne ducked her head under the desk in order to wrap her up in a hug, holding Cathy tightly as she shook in her arms. “I’ve got you. Love you so much,” she whispered as she stroked Cathy’s hair, letting the exhausted girl pour out her sorrows into her shoulder since clearly she so desperately needed to.

“I love you too. I’m sorry,” Cathy repeated breathlessly, her arms losing their strength as her exhaustion built.

Shaking her head, Anne shushed her gently to quieten her apologetic cries. “No. No apologising,” she said, adjusting her grip to take as much of Cathy’s weight as she could manage. When she slumped further with her head rested against Anne’s chest and her eyes closed, Anne nudged her gently and said “Can I get you into bed love? You need to sleep but shouldn’t here.”

Cathy hummed in quiet agreement, just about managing to make her weary limbs cooperate with Anne as she helped her out from under the table. Once they were into the light Anne could see just how much of a toll the last day had taken on her; her face was grey though her cheeks were flushed pink in stark contrast to the dark circles beneath her eyes. She was still shaking a little where she stood, but when Anne pressed a palm to her forehead and felt how warm Cathy was she realised it might have been feverish shivering instead.

“Come on,” she prompted, one arm around Cathy’s waist as she helped her sit down on the edge of the bed and pull off her hoodie. Her phone buzzed in her pocket as she was piling up all the pillows for Cathy to lay back against, the concerned text from Jane reminding her that it was meant to be dinner time and that Cathy hadn’t eaten anything in the last day. Once she was resting on the nest of pillows, Anne asked “Do you think you’d be able to eat anything, babe?”

A defeated shrug answered her, so Anne left her with a kiss on the forehead and a promise to return soon as she left to get dinner for them both. There was no way she was leaving Cathy in that state without being reassured that she was being taken care of at long last.

After running downstairs to see what Aragon had made for dinner, Anne came back up the stairs with pasta for herself but a bowl of soup for Cathy since they’d figured it would be easier for her to stomach. Cathy was unmoving on the bed with her head lolled to the side when Anne pushed her door open but she stirred at Anne’s cheery greeting, picking her way between the papers towards her.

Cathy watched her move, a dejected frown appearing on her face as she muttered “I’ll need to clear those up tomorrow.”

“That’s a problem for tomorrow’s you though. And I’m gonna help you and it’ll be alright,” Anne said, offering her a carefree smile.

“Oh. Yeah, I guess,” Cathy nodded, a somewhat surprised expression on her face.

Anne hummed in agreement, offering out the bowl of soup to Cathy and supporting her shaky hands as she took it. “You don’t have to finish it, just as much as you can,” she prompted her.

She just stared at the bowl for a few seconds, making Anne wonder if she was slipping again from the seemingly stable mindset she’d brought herself back to. But then Cathy looked up at Anne, bashful hope shining in her eyes as she asked “Can you help me?”

Anne was more than happy to oblige. She shuffled close to Cathy and guided her hands as she slowly ate her dinner, talking about easy topics as they did so and pausing whenever she needed to. When Cathy grew too tired to keep talking Anne put both their bowls on the bedside table and lay down before her, holding her close as the last of her energy reserves seeped away. Cathy’s body was still feverishly hot as she buried her face into Anne’s chest again, and Anne was more than happy to be her shelter from the memories that had haunted her for so long.

Tomorrow they’d clear up the mess Cathy had created, both in her bedroom and inside her head. But for now, Anne would just hold her while she slept and keep her safe from the pain of her regrets.

#six the musical #six the musical fanfiction #six the musical fanfic #catherine parr #anne boleyn #parrlyn #laila's writing

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cruecifymesixx · 5 years ago

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Love and Leather /part forty sixx/

Word Count: 8.1k

A/N: so very sorry it took so long for me to update! My schedule is a little weird right now due to work soooo just hang with me! Enjoy, let me know what you think! (Moodboard credit: @itsclaranotcarla)

Warnings: a n g s t, conservative rich grandparents, a little boozy, a little fluffy, lots of language

Taglist: @brideofdraculana , @xstarryeyes , @aryssav , @miserablecunt , @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol , @inthebackofmycarlaytheirbodies, @fandomshit6000, @anntheboneless, @venus-calum, @justjodeye, @supernaturalvikingwhore, @are-we-real, @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland, @baiabouk @awesomealmostdopestudent, @romanticvengeance , @tashy-bear, @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill @beachystars, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls, @rockersbox, @brooklyn-antiques, @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, @lilytalebi, @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream, @lunamadhatter99, @broke-n-bitchy, @thanks2pete, @slowandangry, @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1, @swoopygorl, @motherloovebone, @random-internet-user-4471, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001, @wheresmyvodkabitch, @waywardprincess666, @malibubarbievince, @iluvmesomemarvelndc, @zoenicoles @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina, @primal-screamer,@electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults, @cruebaby, @ggorehorror, @valentines-in-london, @miss2001babe, @nassauartist @emmaelizabeth2014, @cmft-jr-winchester, @bokkie92, @notworthyofyou1120 @xrosegoldwolfx, @cranberribread, @lauravic, @mgkobsessed, @chaoticvybe, @kellysimagines, @minxtruck, @marvelismylifffe, @love-struck-aries, @idumpyourgrass, @lavendersoundbarrier, @i-want-to-shoot-myself, @unknownoblivion

June ‘89

I gripped Vanity’s thigh as she was driving us to her grandparents house a little outside of Dallas. I stared out the window marveling at the open land and ranches along the road. Her mother had called and asked if we could both come to Texas to visit her family. I’m just assuming this is the next stepping stone for us as a couple, I mean we’re doing things a little differently, but that’s okay I think. I was nervous about the situation as the last time I was around her family I was completely fucked up and called Van out in front of everyone at her party. I hope her mother and Greyson don’t have any hard feelings...

“You okay, Sixx?” Vanity asked, laying her hand on top of mine, “Yeah, doll. I’m good.” I responded as she looked over at me, her chocolate colored hair blowing in the wind as her black sunglasses hugged her face.

“Nikki.” She said my name sternly as I sighed, “Are you sure I have to meet them? What am I suppose to say to them? Let alone do.”

I felt her thumb run across the back of my hand before intertwining her fingers together as she kept one hand on the steering wheel, “Yes, you have to meet them. Everything will be alright, stop overthinking.” She told me as I shook my head, easier said then done babe.

“You just, you gotta be nice and respectful. No cussing and you can’t smoke when we’re there. You just gotta tone it down a little bit.” I frowned at her words.

“So I gotta be something I’m not?” I scoffed as she squeezed my hand lightly, “I’m not asking you to talk business and numbers, I’m just asking you to be not so...so, so heavy metal.” She explained as I let out a groan.

“My grandparents are way more overbearing then mom and daddy ever were. They’re your stereotypical conservative Texan Y’know? They don’t understand people like you.”

I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked over at her, “People like me? What the hell is that suppose to mean?” She glanced over at me before turning her attention back to the road.

“I don’t mean it like that babe. I just mean like how you’re outspoken and will tell someone to fuck off when necessary. They don’t understand your lifestyle, or former lifestyle I should say. They don’t understand the rockstar life, they don’t understand our life.”

“Baby, can’t I just act like I’m sick and I can just stay in the car, please? They’re gonna eat me alive.” I begged her. I already knew I didn’t and wouldn’t ever fit into the life she was raised in. People like her family look down on junkie runaway rockstars like me.

“Nikki, we’re almost there. C’mon you can’t flake on me now. You said you would at least try for me.” She stated as I sighed, “Yeah, I know what I said.”

”I’ll give you some pointers though, make sure you call pops sir at all time whenever you refer to him, same with grandma but make sure you say ma’am. So yes ma’am or yes sir and no sir and no ma’am. I’m not just going to throw you to the wolves, Nikki. Okay?” She reassured me as her hand came over and touched the side of my face.

“I’m nervous too babe. I know how awful and difficult they can be.” She confided as I nodded, taking her hand off my face and bringing it to my lips.

Vanity turned off the side of the road, seeing a giant cast ironed archway that read ‘Blackwood’ I scoffed at the arrogance. At least I know where she gets it from.

The property was fucking huge. Between the gravel road it was divided by the greenest grass I’ve ever seen in my whole god damn life and white picket fencing along the edge.

The house itself was fucking huge, “The property lays on twenty two acres of land. My great grandpa built the wrap around porch while my grandfather, his name is Theo he built the pool in the backyard.” She explained as she parked the car next to some sky blue Chevy pick up truck with chrome detailing, a white corvette and I believe an old Camaro that was black with a white racing stripe.

“My grandparents are my dad’s parents, try not to bring up my dad as grandma still cries over him.” She said as I nodded as we finally got out of the car.

“Nikki?” She said, holding onto my hand as she stood in front of me, “We’ll meet everyone, have dinner, make small talk and then we will leave, alright? I don’t want to be here longer than I have to anyways.” She smiled as she reached up and gave me a sweet but short kiss on the lips. When she pulled away from my lips, her fingers came up to my shirt and buttoned a few more buttons of the shirt she wanted me to wear as it was half opened.

“It’s gonna be horrible, isn’t?” I asked as she kept her hand on my chest, she tried giving me her best smile before taking my hand and dragging me up the stairs to the front door.

She opened the door, and I immediately stopped walking. The house was elegant, oil based paintings hanged in the entry way. The rug that ran under my feet was Persian. The marble tile under the rug had specks of gold flakes. As we walked through the house I could spot a maid and a chef in the kitchen. Pictures of the family I’m assuming ran across the walls as well. We walked past a living room, their was a shiny black piano that more than likely was never allowed to be touched.

I looked up, seeing crystal chandeliers hung from the ceilings as well as the walkway from the second floor. The farther we got into the house the more laughter I could here.

We stepped outside, as everyone turned to look at us. I gripped her hand tighter as she brushed her thumb over the back of my hand.

“Oh, Vanity! How I’ve missed you!” Her mom, Clarissa walked up to us first before pulling her in a tight hug.

“Don’t you think that outfit is a bit revealing to be wearing here?.” She said as she picked at Vanity’s hair, fixing it. I don’t know why she tried fixing it as Vanity it put back over her shoulder as it was laying there before her mother touched it.

“Mom, stop. I didn’t feel like wearing a dress.” Vanity shrugged, looking down at the skin tight black ripped jeans, the rips going all the way up to her thighs as she was wearing a floral loose tank top that stopped midriff, exposing the dangly diamond piercing she was wearing.

I think she looked beautiful.

“It’s nice to see you, Nikki.” Clarissa said, walking over to me before giving me a quick hug. I nodded, trying to force a smile, “Like wise.”

Vanity stood at my side, hand wrapping around my bicep as she rested her head against my shoulder. Her mom looked at us with a smile before turning her attention to a white haired woman that had tight pin up curls that was storming over to us. She seemed like she’s always been a housewife. She was also wearing a dark blue dress with a matching set of pearl earrings and a necklace. I’m assuming with the dirty look she was giving me, this was her grandmother.

“Hello, darling. I’m glad you decided to come visit.” She spoke to Vanity, I noticed Van stood up a little bit taller instead of slouching.

“Yes ma’am, I’m happy to be home.” Vanity spoke kindly, leaving my side as she kissed her grandmas cheek.

Her grandma looked me over, her eyes going to the combat boots I was wearing with my leather pants and the skull ring that was on my middle finger. Her eyes brushed over the chains and leather cuff around my wrist as they went wide at the tattoos on my arms. Her cold blue eyes met mine as her thick Texas accent came out, “And who are you?”

“Grandma, this is-“ “He can speak up for him self Vanity.” She was quick to stop Van from talking. I didn’t fucking like that.

She was glaring straight into my fucking soul, I had to look away from her. I wasn’t gonna fucking die in a closet full of drugs, I was going to die standing right here in this backyard.

I cleared my throat, sticking out my hand for her to shake, “I’m uh..Nikki, Nikki Sixx.” She stared at my hand as If it was covered in the Black Plague.

“Is that your real name? Your parents really named you that?” Her grandmother spewed her hates at me, as I clenched down on my jaw.

Apprehensively, Vanity spoke up “Nikki, this is Betty Mae Blackwood, my grandmother.” Van smiled up at me, before looking back at Betty, “Grandma, Nikki is a musician. He’s a legend in his world.” Her grandmother did not seem amused.

“He’s also my boyfriend and I love him dearly.” She added on as I reached down and kissed the top of her head.

“A rockstar, Vanity? Really? Whatever happened to Julian?” Betty had spoken up as she scoffed before sipping on her glass of white wine. I saw the Vanity’s smile fade away, before her eyes quickly darted over to her Moms.

“Betty, let’s be nice okay?” Clarissa was quick to jump to our aid, “Vanity has known Nikki for a long time now-“ “You allow this?” Betty was also quick to cut off her mother.

“Grandma, please. He’s a guest.” Vanity spoke, her tone was low as she looked at Betty.

“Very well then. Vanity, show your...Nikki around the property while I talk to your mother.” Betty ordered as she grabbed my hand and quickly pulled me away.

“I’m just saying right now, if she continues I’m gonna blow up and I’m not apologizing for it.” I warned Vanity as I let go of her hand once we were away from them.

She nodded but didn’t say anything. I knew she felt like complete shit for how her grandmother was speaking to me. I told her this wouldn’t go well.

We walked around the corner to find Greyson lounging in the pool, “Well look who fucking rose from the dead. Glad you’re alive Nikki.” Greyson teased as Vanity let out a laugh before covering her mouth with her hand.

“Yeah, Yeah shut the fuck up Greyson.” I rolled my eyes, “Glad to be alive, man.” I said rubbing the back of my neck as Vanity nudged my side.

“Where’s our little demon spawn of a sister?” Vanity asked, “Out with Pops rounding up the cattle.” Greyson responded, as he continued basking in the sun.

Vanity smirked as she looked at me, “You want to have a little country fun, city boy?” She teased as I rolled my eyes.

“You getting dirty outside of the bedroom? Can’t believe it princess.” I teased her back as she lightly swatted my stomach. She gave me a quick kiss before pulling me along behind her. We went through some side door before she turned on a light.

“Whoa, that’s a sick bike.” I said walking over to the motorcycle that was all white with chrome handle bars, “That was daddy’s...” she trailed off, “Theo got it for him when daddy joined the company. Mom didn’t want it in the garage at the house after he died so it came here.” She quickly diverted the conversation as she grabbed a set of keys from the wall and pressing a button for the garage door to open.

She walked over to an ATV, starting it as she got on top of it, “Come on, Sixx. I am not walking all the way out there, it’s too far and I’ll make you carry me half way through.” She smiled as she wiped her sunglasses clean before putting them on.

I climbed onto the ATV and sat behind her, gripping her hips as she gave way too much throttle all at once. Dirt and rocks were being kicked up as we drove down a trail that went along the property. I saw there was a pond behind the house with some cattle around it. I saw two people on horses trying to gather them up to go back into their own field, or whatever the fuck it’s called.

I didn’t know Vanity was this type of country. We pulled up along side an old barn, well a stable I guess I should say. She turned off the quad and I followed after her.

“Hey Rick!” Vanity spoke to some cowboy looking motherfucker with a bad farmers tan, “Well hello there sugar! Look at you! You haven’t been here in forever.” He said wrapping her up in a huge hug.

“Babe, this is Rick he’s an old family friend and helps Pops with the horses and livestock, Rick, this is Nikki.” Vanity introduced us as he stuck out his hand for me to shake, “Nice to meet you, man.” I said as he smiled back at me.

Vanity tugged on my hand, pulling me inside the stable, “Did I ever tell you I can ride a horse?” She spoke to me, holding my hand still as she walked backwards smiling at me.

“No, you’ve never mentioned it. I didn’t know you were a real country girl. It’s rather hot.” I smirked as she chuckled, “Kinda surprising too, didn’t expect you to be into it.” I shrugged as she went into a stable where a light brown horse with a black mane stood behind a white gate.

“Well this is Rosey.” She opened a gate, “Shes my horse.” Vanity spoke, scratching the horses nose, smiling at me as she grabbed my hand and put it on the horses head, Rosey nudged my hand, causing my whole arm to move, “Just stay here.” Vanity said, quickly leaving the stable.

I picked up hay and fed it to the horse, wiping the dirt off my hands on my pants as I heard Vanity rummaging through stuff. Rosey nudged my chest with her snout, “Stop it.” I said, wiping off horse slobber and god knows what else from my shirt. She did it again to me. I glared at Rosey, trying to leave the stable as Vanity came around the corner with...with a fucking saddle?

“You want to be a cowboy so bad, let’s give you a little crash course.” Vanity smirked, chuckling as she through a thin pad over the horses back.

“I...I don’t want to be a cowboy...I just like the hats and the boots.” I said, stepping out of her way and watching her lift up the saddle before putting it over the pad.

She smiled up at me, crouching down as she tightened the straps under the horse, “Baby, c’mon. If this is just a point to prove that I’m not a cowboy, fine you win, I won’t wear the hats or the boots anymore.” I pleaded, as she stood up straight, dusting off her hands.

“I actually love the cowboy hat, it’s probably my favorite look of yours. But can you open that gate for me?” She asked, motioning to the lock on the side.

She held onto the reigns as we walked next to the horse, “So, just stay relaxed okay? They can feel when you are stressed or panic. If you don’t like it, we can stop. But I think you will.” She explained as I nodded. Vanity led us to a fenced off patch of dirt that had hoof prints into the ground.

“Okay, Sixx. Get on the horse.” I stared at her, looking at the saddle and then at her again, “Van, I thought you were joking? I’m not getting on the horse.” I scoffed at her wishes. Me climbing on a horse in these leather pants? That’s a no from me.

“Baby, c’mon. Please? Look...it’s simple.” She said, quickly putting her foot in the stir up before grabbing the saddle and pulling herself up to mount it.

“Van, fuck. Be careful.” I watched as she trotted around on the horse in circles around me, “Oh relax, I’m fine. You know how many times I’ve been knocked on my back by horses? Like a billion times.” She retorted, making the horse stop right in front of me as Vanity had a huge grin on her face. I’m happy she is happy.

“So is this how you know how to ride my dick so well?” I questioned, smirking at her as she rolled her eyes at me, quickly laughing right after.

“That’s just my gift to you. Do you really not want to try?” She asked, combing the horses mane in between its ears.

I sighed, “Yeah, I’ll try.” She squealed as she quickly jumped down from the horse.

“Okay. So just hold right here, and put your foot in there and then give yourself a push and then throw your leg over.” She explained fast as I could tell she was trying to contain her excitement.

“You make it sound so damn easy.” I retorted, sighing as I pulled myself up and sat on the saddle. The horse quickly jolted forward before I had a grip, causing me to fall off and onto my side straight in to the dirt.

“Fuck this shit!!! I’m not fucking doing it!!” I yelled out, clutching my ribs as I tried standing up, Vanity quickly helped me to my feet.

She laughed, “That wasnt fucking funny, Vanity!” I yelled again, trying to keep a serious face but I couldn’t as she was just cracking up, and it was music to my ears.

“Nik, it was just a little funny. Let’s try again, okay? Just make sure to keep a firm grip.” She said, holding onto the reigns as she patted the saddle.

“C’mon rockstar.” She teased, “How about you get on and then I’ll get on after you?” I suggested, but she shook her head.

“Nope. C’mon Sixx, before I start sweating my makeup off. You don’t even want to know how much this foundation was, alright? Let’s go.” She ordered, as I eventually made my way back onto the horse.

“See, this isn’t so bad now is it?” She asked as she held onto the reigns, trailing the horse and me around the pin.

“It’s hurting my crotch.” I complained, trying to situate the jewels as she laughed, turning her head to look at me before letting go of the reigns and giving them to me.

“Just pull on them a little, Rosey will get the signal to move, just don’t jerk them.” Vanity explained as I nodded, doing what she said as we started trotting around the pin.

Vanity watched as she sat up on the metal gate, a huge smile plastered on her face, “I love you, Sixx.”

I guided the horse to walk along side the gate next to her, “Well, I love you more little lady.” I said in my best country accent as she giggled, turning our attention the side when Sage, who was riding a quad drove up next to us.

“Pops wants to talk to you, Van. I heard grandma wasn’t so nice to you Nikki.” Sage responded as she looked up at us.

“Yeah, which doesn’t mean you get to act like her.” Vanity playfully warned her as she got off then gate, and held out her hand for me to jump off the horse. I watched as she walked back into the stable with the horse.

“I mean, I’m just saying-“ I turned my attention to Sage, “Did rehab really work for you?” She questioned as I nodded.

“I think so, I’ve done good so far. Sometimes it’s hard.” I explained as she pursed her lips together, as it seemed like she was thinking.

“I mean, once a junkie, always a junkie right? I haven’t forgot how you acted at her party. You really hurt her, you know that? She cried over you.” I turned my attention to when I seen Van walking her way over to us.

“Listen Sage, she forgave me and hers is the only forgiveness I care for when it comes to the family. I’m dating her, not all of you.” I said as we glared at one another.

“Fine, just don’t ever make her cry again, unless they are happy tears, got it?” Her threat wasn’t doing much for me, but I nodded anyways. She quickly left before Vanity came up to me.

“Let’s get back...” Vanity said, tugging on my hand as she wrapped it around her waist, before standing on her tiptoes and giving me a kiss.

“We’ll get through this okay?” She assured as her eyes burrowed holes into mine, “I know, darling.” I replied, kissing her forehead before we got on the ATV.

Once a junkie, always a junkie. Those words kept ringing in my ears, yeah Sage was just being a little brat as Vanity as told me about. But I knew there was some truth to it. When Vanity drove the ATV back into the garage, I got off first and then helped her off.

“I shouldn’t be here.” I spoke quietly to Van as she looked up at me, “They are never gonna like me. I shouldn’t have came with you.” I added on as she sighed, gliding her hands up my chest before they wrapped around the back of my neck.

“Nik, my grandmothers opinion does not matter to me. I love you and that’s all that matters, okay? We just have to get through dinner and then we can leave, alright?” She repeated her words as I nodded.

“Let’s go sneak a cigarette out by the car? It will probably do us both good.” She said, grabbing my hand and pulling me along, until I want to say at least a six foot seven old man dressed in a black cowboy hat, black jeans, black cowboy boots and dark red button up shirt stopped Vanity dead in her tracks, she quickly let go of my hand.

“Pops...I thought you and Sage were still-“

“Young lady, please give me one good reason why you are being rude and haven’t introduced me to my guest.” His Texas accent was thick as his green eyes stared directly at me.

She nodded, “Sorry, sir.” She mumbled, before stepping over to me.

“Nik-“ I quickly cut Vanity off. I stuck my hand out for his, “I’m Nikki Sixx, I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to meet earlier. We saw that you were out there with Sage doing stuff with the cattle and didn’t want to interrupt.” I spoke fast as he took off his cowboy hat, placing it on the table as he shook my hand, hard.

“Vanity?” Her grandfather spoke as he let go of my hand, I looked down at it seeing my skin was white from how hard he gripped it.

“Yes, sir?” She questioned, perking up as he patted the top of her head, “You mind getting two whiskeys and my box of cigars for me? They are in the office.” He ordered, as she looked over at me.

“Can’t grandma do it?” Vanity asked, pushing her hair out of her face, “I’m asking you to do it, now. Loose that tone with me, Vanity.” He replied, I eyed Vanity, trying to keep my laugh under wraps as she sent me a quick glare.

Vanity quickly walked inside, “I swear, every time I see her she changes a little bit more and her attitude gets a little bit worse.” Theo replied, turning his attention back to me.

I chuckled, “Yeah, she’s a bit of a handful sometimes, but I wouldn’t want her any other way.” I said nervously as he glared at me, but it quickly softened.

“She was a handful as a kid too. She’d spend summers here because her parents didn’t know what to do with her, but she’s turned out fine. You are a rockstar?” He questioned as he sat down by the glass table.

I sat down across from him, “Yeah, I play bass and I created my band, uh Motley Crue.” I told him as he nodded. I felt a sigh of relief when Vanity came back out.

She handed Theo the glasses plus the box, he was quick to slide a half filled glass over to me as I stared down into it.

“Uh...pops...Nikki, he doesn’t...” Vanity spoke up for me as she took the glass away, “I guess all rockstars are the same.” His laugh was deep as I felt myself become small.

“Water is fine.” I said, holding up my water bottle before taking a sip. I watched as Vanity turned from her grandfather, downing the liquid as she grimaced when it burned all the way down.

“How about a cigar?” He asked, holding one up for me, “Uh yeah...I mean yes sir.”

“Vanity, leave the men to talk by themselves, you know better.” Theo ordered for her dismissal, “I’m sure your grandmother would love to spend some time with you.” He continued as Vanity let out a groan.

“Please be nice to him.” Vanity begged quietly as she stared at him, “Of course sweetheart.” He said, smiling at her before turning is attention to me. She gave me an apologetic look before going over to Betty and Clarissa who were sitting around the pool drinking wine.

“I apologize for my wife, I know she can be overbearing, I’m more passive than she is.” He explained, putting a cigar between his teeth and lighting it with a shiny gold lighter before handing it to me.

“Betty is kind. I can’t blame her for her words. I don’t deserve Van at all, but I love her...” I trailed off, inhaling a puff from the cigar.

He swirled the ice cubes around the glass before taking a sip, “Why do you think you don’t deserve her?”

I was getting sick and tired of all this interrogation, I sighed, “I should have treated her better, and if I hadn’t been drunk or high all the time I could have expressed my feelings instead of all the countless arguments and fights we had, but I think she knows that.”

He nodded, blowing the smoke in my direction, “Yeah…we were informed of a lot of things you did. Some business partners were at that birthday party of hers.”

I cleared my throat before taking a sip of water, “I am very sorry for that. It uh…it wasn’t me. I mean it was me, but it’s the me jacked up on all the drugs I was doing.”

He furrowed his eyebrows, trying to understand before nodding, “Well-“ he rubbed the back of his neck, “At least you’re being honest. You gonna marry her?”

I dry swallowed as he stared at me. Of course I wanted to marry Vanity, but it’s too early for that. I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

“And marry into all this money? I’m sure you won’t be a rockstar forever.” He chuckled, taking a sip out of the glass before setting it down.

I cleared my throat, “Ye-Yeah I want to marry her, but I Uh I don’t need your money.” I smirked watching him nod his head, “I have plenty of other hobbies that make money too. It’s not all about what’s in the bank account…”

“Well, I’m just saying, money makes her happy and-“ “Other things make her happy too that don’t involve money.” I was quick to interrupt him as he seemed amused.

“I’m just saying Nikki, I would hate to see her cry over you running out of money, I’m sure the music thing will end and you’ll fade away like all you musicians do.”

I gripped the arm of the chair tight, I wanted to fucking leave. They don’t know Vanity like they think they do. Yeah, Vanity likes money a lot. But I could name a million other things she likes better. She likes when I wake her up in the morning holding her in a tight embrace as I call her beautiful. She prefers the sunrise over the sunset. She’d rather learn about space than the ocean more. She likes her coffee with two sugars and just a dash of cream, unless it’s iced coffee. Then she loves it with Carmel and a shot of espresso. They would know that she lives for more things than money. She may like extravagant items and expensive clothes, but she loves the little things in life more.

“I’m sure, after everything her and I have been through. She’s gonna love me even if I do run out of money.” I spoke to him, glancing over as Vanity came to my rescue.

“Dinners ready…” She said, holding out her hand as I quickly got up and took it. She tried opening her mouth to say something, but I shook my head, “I am ready to go.” I told her quietly, noticing Theo was behind us.

She sighed, walking to the dining table as everyone was already sitting. Betty sat at one end of the table as it went Vanity, Me, Greyson, Theo sitting at the other end of the table followed by Sage and Clarissa.

“I love you.” Vanity whispered into my ear as she kissed the side of my cheek. I nodded, gently squeezing her thigh as I kept my hand there. A servant came around, pouring wine in all the glasses, including mine. Van quickly grabbed my glass and started to chug it as I stared at her with a smile.

“Vanity, manners.” Her mom spoke quietly, trying not to laugh as well. She put the empty glass down and stared at her mom apologetically.

“Sorry…nerves.” She mumbled, looking over at me, “Grandma harassed me too when you were talking to Pops.” She said into my ear, before politely thanking the servant when they put a plate of food in front of us.

So far so good, everyone was enjoying the meal and chatting with one another, “Y’know Nikki, I may have had a misconception about you.” Betty spoke, my eyes meeting hers as she had a sly smirk on her lips and was holding a glass of white wine as she swirled it around.

“Thank you. I’m actually a very nice person under all this leather and tattoos.” I have her a warm smile as she nodded.

“Well, if you do plan on marrying our Vanity, please don’t have her be a widow to young. I was informed by Sage you had died from your overindulgence in narcotics.”

“Sage..” Vanity spoke, her tone was hurtful as she stared at her younger sister. Sage wouldn’t dare to look at her or me. She just picked at her food, “Sorry Vanny…you know how grandma is.” She mumbled.

“It would be such a waste.” Betty added on as she stared directly at me. I let go of Vanitys thigh, but she quickly grabbed my hand.

“Betty, that is enough!” Clarissa shouted, throwing her napkin down.

“Now Clarissa, I love you. I really do. But my son did the same thing with you. You weren’t born into this life, your parents worked in a factory. And now Vanity is following her fathers footsteps and doing the same with a, with a junkie.”

“And if you do decide to marry, Vanity Kay, make sure you have him sign a prenup. I would hate for him to get his filthy hands on my money.” Betty spoke up, as I pushed back my chair.

“Excuse me.” I said, clearing my throat and pushing Vanity’s hand off of mine before leaving the house.

Fuck that stupid cunt.

*Vanity’s POV*

I watched Nikki angrily ball his fists at his side as he walked out of the house, “It would be such a waste, really. Vanity, you can do so much better. You are beautiful young woman, you don’t need to be with someone like that.”

“What is the matter with you!? I am so happy with him! He’s the love of my life and I hope I get to be with him for a very, very long time. He’s sober, Grandma. He’s never touching it again, you don’t know what I went through with him. You don’t know what he went through to get to where he is today.” I spoke to her as she stared back at me appalled that I would stand up to her.

“Vanity, enough. Don’t talk back to your grandmother like that.” Theo butted in as I shook my head.

“That’s what they all say and promise. Yet they always eventually fall back.” Betty responded before taking a calm bite of her food, like she hadn’t done anything wrong.

“He is trying his hardest.” I defend him as she shook her head, “Oh please, he’s only here because you wanted him to be, I could tell just by looking at him he didn’t want to come. He’s not good enough for you.”

I scoffed, “And you wonder why I never come home, I am leaving.” I said, pushing the plate away as I stood up, “Mom, I will call when I leave tomorrow.” I replied, watching her nod slowly as she gave me a look of sorrow, before I turned to leave the house.

*Nikki’s POV*

Vanity walked outside, slamming the front door, “I am not going back inside to say bye.” I said, lighting a cigarette as I exhaled, “Betty god damn Ford in there can piss off, I am not going to die again.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to say bye. We’re leaving.” She snapped at me, quickly getting in the car and slamming the door. I rolled my eyes, sliding into the passenger side.

“I even told you I shouldn’t have came. It’s already bad enough your grandmother thinks I’m the fucking devil, and just to make things worse your grandfather thinks you’ll be happy with me only until the money runs out.” I shook my head, glancing over at her as she was focused on the road.

I saw her roll her eyes, “We both know that isn’t true, fuck! Just shut up about it Nikki. It already happened so let’s just move on.” She shouted, turning the radio up as she mumbled under her breath. I pushed the button to turn it off.

“Yeah, just shut up Nikki.” I mocked as she glared at me, “Sorry I can’t give you a fancy ranch with a white picket fence and god damn ponies!”

She laughed bitterly, “Oh fuck off, that’s not what I want anyways. God. Don’t be like this please. I said I was sorry for how they were acting!”

I clenched my jaw as I stared at her, fuck off? Are we really about to fucking do this right now!?

“Don’t be like what?! They don’t see the struggle I went through to get this far! I was some poor runaway-“

“Some poor runaway punk who didn’t have any place to go and had to steal to survive, save yourself the sob story Nikki, I already know!!” She yelled as she gripped the steering wheel, her knuckles turning white.

“So maybe you should have fucking stood up for me!! You knew I was being thrown to the wolves and you just watched! I wasn’t born with a fucking silver spoon in my mouth like princess Vanity! I had to scratch and claw to get what I have! I got lucky to become a rockstar! You know nothing about struggle or hard work! You have everything because of some oil shit!!” I yelled at her, seeing her face get red in anger. She was quick to pull off the side of the road, slamming the car into park as she turned her body towards me.

“Some oil shit?! Really!? Fuck you, Nikki! You don’t have a single god damn clue about what my family has been through! How hard my relatives had to work to get where they are today! Hard work? You know nothing about hard work! God fordbid busting out a few songs is difficult for you. Congratulations Nikki, you made your millions rhyming a few words together!” She rolled her eyes, her usual light hazel eyes were dark in the golden rays of the setting sun.

“Well those songs have allowed you to do some things you wouldn’t have done on your family farm!” I talked back, watching her reach across and shove my shoulder, “Vanity! Don’t fucking start with me!”

“Yeah, thank you Nikki Sixx and the rest of Motley Crue. Thanks for allowing me to shovel cocaine up my nose and thanks for damaging my god damn liver! Oh, and thanks for letting me travel with you to all of the stupid places I’ve already been too!! Thanks for making me have to watch my god damn boyfriend almost fucking die!! Oh wait! He did!!” She stared at me as my face turned into a scowl.

“Oh fuck you, Van! I’ve done more for you than that! I bought you a fucking house!” I snapped before turning my head to look out the window, “Just fucking drive.” I said, shaking my head.

“I didn’t ask you to buy me the stupid house, Nikki! You threw that on me!!” She continued to yell as I rolled my eyes.

“Then maybe you should go back to your damn mansions and ponies!!!” I shouted louder at her, immediately regretting it when I saw her facial expression soften. I mentally cursed myself out as I turned to look out the window again.

Fuck, I didn’t fucking mean that. Damnit. She started driving us back into the city and to her hotel. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her wiping her eyes. I said that in anger, I truly didn’t mean it. But now she’s crying, and now I have to give her space. We haven’t had a single argument since that day in rehab, and here we are yet again. It’s like we take two steps forward and we end up taking three steps back. I hope that we would never have an argument like we use to have them but yet, here are with the fuck you’s and the fuck off’s and the hurtful things we know to say to get under each other’s skin.

She parked the car, grabbing her purse and getting out, before slamming the door again. I sighed, following behind her, “Baby, c’mon..” I said, trying to reach for her arm but she pulled away from me.

“Leave me alone.” She muttered as we walked inside the hotel and to the elevators, waiting until they opened up for us.

“Van, I’m sorry.” I spoke softly as I turned to face her when the doors closed, “No! You aren’t fucking trapping me in this elevator to talk about it!” She yelled, sending daggers through me I backed away from her, leaning against the wall as she stood in the middle of the elevator. The door dinged as it slid open, she was quick to walk out.

She unlocked the hotel door, and went straight for her luggage, throwing the scattered clothes around the room into her suitcase. I furrowed my eyebrows, “Wh-what are you doing? Vanity, don’t leave, I am sorry.” I pleaded, but she ignored me.

“Doll, c’mon. You can’t-“ she threw the clothes at me, “I can’t what, Nikki! I can’t leave?! I am going to get another hotel room!! I don’t want to be in the same vicinity as you right now!!” She yelled, continuing to throw wadded up shirts and jeans at me.

“Knock it off!! You’re being dramatic!-“ I was cut off when I dodged a shoe being pelted at my head, “Vanity, what the fuck! Calm down!!”

“Oh, I’m sorry!! Let me go fucking die for a few minutes and come back to life so I have the whole world talking about me, yeah that seems dramatic enough!!”

I glared at her, “Low, that’s really fucking low of you…” I swiped the keys off the little coffee table, holding them in my hand, “You have no idea Vanity, none.”

She looked away from me, jaw clenching as she shook her head, “Glad to know you find me dying, amusing for a come back.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, but you can talk about me all day long.” She said, before stepping closer and snatching the keys away from me, I groaned, rubbing my face as she stared at me.

“Give me the keys, I’m just going to cool off.” I said softly, holding my hand out for the keys, “Fine, go ahead and leave.” Vanity replied, anger in her voice as she threw them down at my boots.

“I’m clearly not the only one. We both need to calm down, I’ll be back in an hour.” I tried explaining to her but she stormed off into the bathroom, slamming the door in the process.

*Vanity’s POV*

I sat in the giant bath tub, full of hot water and bubbles as I drank from a champagne bottle room service delivered. I know I didn’t do a good job at defending him or how a girlfriend is suppose to defend her boyfriend, but fuck man. How am I suppose to when my grandparents think I’m sleeping with the devil? I know Nikki isn’t a bad guy and I wish they saw it that way too.

I closed my eyes, rubbing my temples as I listened to the radio as Skid Row’s ‘I Remember You’ was playing.

“Woke up to the sound of pouring rain, The wind would whisper and I’d think of you.” I sang along quietly, taking another sip of champagne before stepping out of the tub, wrapping a plush white towel around me.

I looked at the clock on the wall, seeing it was almost seven o’clock in the afternoon. I opened up the door, walking out into the hotel room and seeing that Nikki hasn’t came back yet.

I got dressed in a pair of shorts and a Motley shirt with the sleeves torn off. I found myself lounging around on the couch, flipping through the channels of the TV but nothing looked good. I groaned and turned it off. Can he just get back already?

I should apologize first, be the bigger person I suppose. I said some things and he said some things, but I was meaner and I shouldn’t have been. I also shouldn’t have thrown stuff at him, but he was pissing me off. Still, that’s not a good excuse. Him and I aren’t suppose to be fighting like this, like how we used to fight. We don’t do that anymore.

I heard the hotel door unlock, seeing him walk in with a white paper bag and two drinks as he was sipping on one.

He dropped the food down in front of me on the coffee table, followed by handing me a drink, “Oreo milkshake…and a burger and some fries…” Nikki explained, trying to put on a smile but I could tell he was still upset.

“I’m not really hungry..” I said quietly, watching him sit down across from me in the chair and kicking his boots up on the table, “You barely ate at your grandparents.” He pointed out, taking a bite from his burger.

I shrugged, “We had to leave, Nik.” He glared at me, wiping his face and putting his food down, “That’s not my fault.”

I frowned, “I didn’t say it was Nikki-“ He shook his head, digging into his front pocket and pulling out a cigarette before lighting it, “I didn’t know, I mean I did know she would be like that but I didn’t think she’d be that horrible Nikki, I am so sorry.”

Nikki flicked the ash from his cigarette into the tray as he took a long drag, “She almost sounded like she wished I was dead, Van. Don’t you get that? She thinks I’m nothing but the scum beneath her feet, and guess what? I’m fucking not.”

“I don’t know, they’re just from a different time period, I’m not suppose to be with someone like you. They, they just don’t understand.” I mumbled quietly, hearing him chuckle.

“Someone like me? Someone that makes loud music? Someone whose a drug addict? Someone who has showed their naive little granddaughter stuff they sheltered her from? Guess I’m the fucking devil in their eyes right, Princess?” His words were laced with malicious venom.

“Baby, I’m sorry.” I spoke quietly, looking over at him as he let out a sigh, “I know you are, but you’re not who I want the apology from.” He replied as I shook my head, “You’ll never get it.” I told him as he rolled his eyes.

“Well, I don’t need some stuck-in-her-ways old woman talking out of her ass like she knows me, because she doesn’t know anything about me!!”

I nodded, “She…she just knows stuff from what my mom has told her…” he narrowed his eyes, tilting his head to the side as he glared at me.

“And what the hell has your mom been saying?” He ordered, crossing his arms over his chest as he put out the cigarette.

I looked away from him, picking at my nails, “Just whatever I’ve told her from before and now…” I mumbled quietly, hearing him sigh angrily as I felt tears pooling in my eyes.

“Wonderful, just fucking perfect Vanity. She has a preconceived notion of me just because you like to run home to mommy and cry about what the big bad Nikki has done.” He let out a chuckle, shaking his head as he glared at me.

“She knows you're sober now, I told her that’s all that matters to me, Sixx!” I shouted, voice breaking all at once as I felt myself on the brim of crying

“Well, clearly not to the royal oil queen.” He responded as I chewed on my bottom lip, frowning at him, “Stop making fun of my family business, Nikki.” I asked quietly as he laughed, “Oh! But it’s totally okay to make fun of the junkie, right, right.”

“I never said it was okay!!” I shouted, wiping tears from my cheek as he rolled his eyes, “Yeah, go ahead and cry about it! Just another thing you can run to mommy about, then grandma and grandpa will load more money into-“ I quickly grabbed the milkshake and threw it at the wall behind him, making it splatter everywhere.

“Stop it!! I don’t want to fight like this!!” I yelled, completely being flooded by tears, “I am trying to apologize to you!! And you just keep being an asshole to me! But you’re right, maybe I should go back to my mansions and my ponies and all the stuff you hate about my family!” I continued to yell as he watched me. He slowly got up and sat on the couch next to me, he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me into his chest.

“I didn’t mean that. I was just angry.” He mumbled into my hair, placing a kiss on top of my head, “I know I am being an asshole, but I’m just hurt, and I shouldn’t be taking it out on you. I just want your family to like me because I know it’s important to you.” He spoke softly as he held my hand in his.

“We don’t fight like this anymore Nikki, it’s suppose to be better between us.” I said, looking up at him as he wiped the tears from my cheek with his thumb, “And it has been, I guess we will just have our huge blown up fights sometimes. It’s just up to us to stop it before it gets to that level.” He said, kissing my forehead, “I don’t ever want you to go back to your mansions and ponies or the rich oil King and Queen.” He laughed as he held me tighter against him.

He kissed my lips softly, “My own damsel in distress.” He muttered, moving pieces of hair out of my face, “My own knight in shining armor, chains and leather, with his trusty black motorcycle.” He smiled, shaking his head in amusement as he kissed me again.

“I’ll save you a thousand times over, doll.”

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sandeepmaheshwaritips-blog · 4 years ago

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Best Motivational Quotes to Overcome Anxiety and Depression

Moving statements and motivational quotes to overcome anxiety and depression have a stunning capacity to change the manner in which we feel about existence. This is the reason I find them so intriguing and significant on our ways to progress.

So what's their mystery?

The manner in which you contemplate yourself, including your convictions and assumptions regarding what is workable for you, decides everything that transpires.

To be successful, you have to use each day as an opportunity to grow, to find purpose in life, to be better, to get a little bit closer to your goals. It might sound like an impossible thing or a lot of work—and with a busy schedule, next to impractical. But the best part is, the more you get the results, the more you’ll want to work hard, the higher you’ll want to reach. So as long as you have the hunger for success, you will always have the power within you to achieve it.

You have full oversight over just a single thing known to mankind — your reasoning – and that is the place inspirational statements come in!

Everybody needs a little motivation now and again.

Regardless of whether you're experiencing a separation, you've recently lost your employment, or you just woke up feeling a little shaky toward the beginning of today—we've all had nowadays.

I've assembled a rundown of probably the best-overcome anxiety and depression quotes so you can begin the year by assuming responsibility for your considerations, thinking emphatically and defining new objectives.

Dont Forget to read the best Dalai Lama Quotes and Sayings to bring a positive change in your life.

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” – Dr. Suess

Motivational and Inspirational Quotes

“I think being in love with life is a key to eternal youth.” —Doug Hutchison

"I’m a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn’t have the heart to let him down.” – Abraham Lincoln

“The purpose of our lives is to be happy.” — Dalai Lama

“Feelings don’t try to kill you, even the painful ones. Anxiety is a feeling grown too large. A feeling grown aggressive and dangerous. You’re responsible for its consequences, you’re responsible for treating it. But…you’re not responsible for causing it. You’re not morally at fault for it. No more than you would be for a tumor.” ― Patrick Ness, The Rest of Us Just Live Here

“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” — John Lennon

“Get busy living or get busy dying.” — Stephen King

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” — Mae West

“Not how long, but how well you have lived is the main thing.” — Seneca

“If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

“How can a person deal with anxiety? You might try what one fellow did. He worried so much that he decided to hire someone to do his worrying for him. He found a man who agreed to be his hired worrier for a salary of $200,000 per year. After the man accepted the job, his first question to his boss was, “Where are you going to get $200,000 per year?” To which the man responded, “That’s your worry.” ― Max Lucado

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” —Dolly Parton

“Do all the good you can, for all the people you can, in all the ways you can, as long as you can.” — Hillary Clinton

“Don’t settle for what life gives you; make life better and build something.” — Ashton Kutcher

“Everybody wants to be famous, but nobody wants to do the work. I live by that. You grind hard so you can play hard. At the end of the day, you put all the work in, and eventually it’ll pay off. It could be in a year, it could be in 30 years. Eventually, your hard work will pay off.” — Kevin Hart

“Everything negative – pressure, challenges – is all an opportunity for me to rise.” — Kobe Bryant

“I like criticism. It makes you strong.” — LeBron James

“You never really learn much from hearing yourself speak.” ― George Clooney

“Life imposes things on you that you can’t control, but you still have the choice of how you’re going to live through this.” — Celine Dion

“Life is never easy. There is work to be done and obligations to be met – obligations to truth, to justice, and to liberty.” — John F. Kennedy

“Live for each second without hesitation.” — Elton John

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” — Albert Einstein

“Life is really simple, but men insist on making it complicated.” — Confucius

“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.” — Helen Keller

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.” — Steve Jobs

“My mama always said, life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” — Forrest Gump

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”— Lao-Tze

“When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life or the life of another.” — Helen Keller

“The healthiest response to life is joy.” — Deepak Chopra

“Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.” — Lillian Dickson

“The best portion of a good man’s life is his little nameless, unencumbered acts of kindness and of love.” — Wordsworth

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.” ― Robert Frost

“Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it.” — Charles Swindoll

“Keep calm and carry on.” — Winston Churchill

“Maybe that’s what life is… a wink of the eye and winking stars.” — Jack Kerouac

“Life is a flower of which love is the honey.” — Victor Hugo

“Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.” — Marilyn Monroe

“Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.” — Buddha

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.” — Dr. Seuss

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.” — Mark Twain

“Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.” — Stephen Hawking

“Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The greatest pleasure of life is love.” — Euripides

“Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.” — Grandma Moses

“Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.” — Benjamin Franklin

“Life is about making an impact, not making an income.” — Kevin Kruse

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

“Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.” – Babe Ruth

“I’ve spent most of my life and most of my friendships holding my breath and hoping that when people get close enough they won’t leave, and fearing that it’s a matter of time before they figure me out and go.” ― Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” – Mark Twain

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” – Anais Nin

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” – John Lennon

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” – Les Brown

“The whole secret of a successful life is to find out what is one’s destiny to do, and then do it.”– Henry Ford

“In order to write about life first you must live it.”– Ernest Hemingway

“The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything.”– Frank Sinatra

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”– Thomas A. Edison

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”– Albert Einstein

“Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.”– Babe Ruth

“Money and success don’t change people; they merely amplify what is already there.” — Will Smith

“Sing like no one’s listening, love like you’ve never been hurt, dance like nobody’s watching, and live like it’s heaven on earth.” – (Attributed to various sources)

“Curiosity about life in all of its aspects, I think, is still the secret of great creative people.” – Leo Burnett

“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.”– Soren Kierkegaard

“To venture causes anxiety, but not to venture is to lose one’s self…. And to venture in the highest is precisely to be conscious of one’s self.” ― Søren Kierkegaard

“The unexamined life is not worth living.” — Socrates

“Turn your wounds into wisdom.” — Oprah Winfrey

“The more you pray, the less you’ll panic. The more you worship, the less you worry. You’ll feel more patient and less pressured.” ― Rick Warren, The Purpose of Christmas

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.” – Steve Jobs

Thank you for giving your time to read these beautiful inspirational and motivational quotes about anxiety and depression. Stay connected for more.

Source: Best Motivational Quotes to Overcome Anxiety and Depression

#quotes #motivational quotes #inspirational quotes #anxiety quotes #depression quotes

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timelock97 · 5 years ago

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Love Without A Name

Chapter Four: A Bottle of Wine and Friendly Banter

Word Count: 1686

Masterlist

Warning: Language, Sexual references

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Why did I invite you people over again?” I groan as I set the bowl of popcorn, chocolate, and chips onto the coffee table, glancing at the five people sitting around the room. “I’m supposed to be packing what’s left of my apartment.”

Celine reaches out for the bottle of wine that is haphazardly tucked under my arm, giggling. “Because you have to go over what is left of your to-do list for the wedding and needed people to talk to?”

Mae rolls her eyes and grabs a Capri-Sun from off the coffee table, locking eyes with me. “I think we were supposed to help, but more people showed up and brought food, movies, and alcohol. So those plans flew out the window?”

Alicia laughs, her back pressed against Graham’s side while they attempt to share a bean bag chair. “I think you needed the night off anyways, (Y/N).”

“Agreed, you seem to be a little stressed,” Graham nods, leaning forward as Celine fills his glass. “So, let’s all sit and watch these rom-coms and drink wine.”

I roll my eyes, noticing Vivian, who has returned from the bathroom, go to grab the wine bottle out of Celine’s hand. “Oh, no way in hell are you having another glass, Vivian. I don’t have an extra bed for you to crash on.” I tease, plopping down between Celine and Mae, my best friends.

“I only had a glass from the last one!” Vivian laughs from her spot, reaching for the wine anyways before taking her previous place in the arm chair. “Besides, Wyatt and I have drank more before and only get a little tipsy-”

“That’s because you guys have a high tolerance,” Celine giggles, her legs falling across my lap.

“‘Tisn’t a bad thing,” Vivian giggles.

Mae leans over and grabs the list off the table, “Okay, how about we go over that list so you can relax for the night, yeah?”

“Hit me!” I yell, letting out a squeal when Graham, Vivian, and Celine all throw pillows at me. “Guys I have a glass in my hand with red wine, that could have ended horribly! I still can get back my deposit for keeping the apartment in tip-top shape!”

“But it didn’t, did it. Plus, you told us to hit you so it’s your fault.” Celine giggles beside me, letting out a small 'hey’ when I push her legs off of my lap, only for her to replace them in their previous place.

“Fuck off, Cel.”

“Okay,” Mae states shaking the paper to straighten it out in her hands. ��Catering?”

“Called this morning,” Celine states, making me laugh.

“Florist?”

“Taken care of,” I hum.

“Dress, including the latest fitting?”

“Bought and had my first fitting a two months ago. I have another fitting next week to do final fixes.” I state smiling at Mae.

“Wait, wait, can I see your dress, (Y/N)? Please, please, pleeeeeeeease?” Graham whines, folding his hands together and pouting his lip.

Giggling, I grab my phone off the table, also seeing that he had texted me a simple '2 more weeks, my love.’ I open the photo gallery and click on the latest photo of my wedding gown. The gown was not something I ever thought I’d wear. Tea cup length, with lace covering my chest and waist. The sleeves were off the shoulder, causing a straight neckline, and went down just below the elbow. The skirt was fluffy, and soft, the perfect fit for a late spring/early summer wedding.

“Baaaaaabe! You look stunning-”

“That looks beautiful on you, (Y/N)!” Alicia coos, taking the phone from Graham’s hand.

“What are you going to do for shoes?” Graham asks excitedly, bringing his glass to his lips.

“Not heels,” I giggle, “I want to be able to walk the next day.”

“Who went with you?”

Both Celine and Mae’s hands pop into the air. “Yeah, these two came with me. Also, both of their mom’s and Mae’s little sister Joyce. It,” I take the chance to swallow the lump that attempts to form in my throat before continuing, “it really meant a lot for them to come since my mom… wouldn’t.” The room is silent for a few seconds, they knew, and it had been hard not to call my family in excitement, or in some cases annoyance, whenever something happened.

Mae’s hand falls on my shoulder, squeezing it under her petite hand. “We were happy to be there, and you can thank Joyce for finding the dress-”

I let out a laugh, “Chose the complete opposite of what I was looking for-”

“But still looked beautiful!” Celine smiles, leaning into my side. “Now, back to the list!”

“Right!” Mae shakes the paper again, “legal stuff? (Y/N), what does that even mean?”

“I had to do a shit ton of paper work since I would be leaving the country. It was a mess.”

“You’re gonna come back, right? Visit all your favorite people?” Graham asks, tilting his head to the side while swirling the wine in his glass.

“Oh yeah, I can’t just leave and pretend I don’t have anyone here. It would drive me insane!” I bring my glass to my lips, sweet but tart sliding past my tongue, staining it red. “I’ll try and plan when I am coming so we can all get together again.”

“It’ll be a party,” Mae smiles, looking back at the list before pursuing her lip and looking at me with a raised eyebrow. “The next few are not in your handwriting-”

“Hazel,” I groan, tilting my head back against the couch in annoyance, “she asked to look at my list and said she added a few things before I left on Friday. What did she add?”

“Uh, and this is a quoted phrase, 'a day to find your sexiest self, lingerie that make you look like a beautiful, but boss ass bitch,’ and,” her eyes squint at the paper in confusion, “'a bottle of lu-” My eyes fly open and I snatch the paper from Mae’s hands, crumpling it and throwing it across the room.

“She’s a savage!” Vivian cackles as the group laughs as I give Mae an apologetic smile.

Celine lets out a soft, high-pitched hum, downing the last bit of her wine. Her hand is in the air as if to tell me to 'hold up a sec.’ She sets her glass down before standing, “That reminds me! I have something for you in my bag!”

“What did I get myself into?” I yell, looking at where her retreating body danced down to my room where everyone’s personal belongings had disappeared to when they first arrived. “And you remember that this bean is a virgin right?”

Celine comes bounding into the room with a single, long clothing box. “I had the luxury to be given the job of finding this. Hazel says she has a surprise for you too, but you won’t get it till another day. So, you can start with these pieces- oh, and I had Vivian help me find them too-”

“You’re welcome!”

My eyes look between everyone else in the room, who are looking at me expectedly. I sigh, a small laugh escaping at the end. I untie the gold ribbon and unravel the box. Once opened, my laughter grows a little louder. The card, that is definitely in Celine’s handwriting, says “IOU a soon-to-be favorite set of lingerie.” I pull the tissue paper away, only to replace it with a beet red face, “I am not wearing this-”

“C'mon, pull it out-” Celine giggles, her phone in hand, most likely recording.

“No way in hell, there isn’t even any fabric! It’s just all, strings!”

“It can’t be that bad, right?” Alicia looks at me. I raise an eyebrow at her before sighing and lifting the piece out, making the room fill with gasps and laughter.

“It’s not even-”

“What is that?!”

“How do you get that even on?!”

“That won’t even cover you-”

“Ya’ll need instructions to put that damn thing on-”

Once the laughter dies down, Celine shakes her head, “That’s not it, by the way.” A small 'thank God’ falls past my lips, “That was a gimmick. I asked the lady for something to prank you with, did it work?”

“I fucking hate you!” I laugh, throwing the ribbons at her. She only giggles and motions me to continue looking in the box. At the bottom is a silk robe, it probably only reached just below the butt, but it was light and soft to the touch. I turn it in my hands and notice the golden embroidered initials. The first and middle letters were mine but the second was marked with an H. “H?”

Celine tilts her head in confusion. “What?” She tugs the robe from my hand and gasps. “They weren’t supposed to put on the last initial! Hazel is gonna kill me!”

“Not if she doesn’t know! I won’t tell her!” I reason with a small smile.

“You had one job,” Graham laughs.

“It’s not my fault they didn’t listen to me!”

“It’s fine, babes.” I giggle, taking the robe back from her and smiling at it. “I love it.”

“Try it on, (Y/N)!” Graham states, Alicia nodding.

I giggle as I take it back from Celine, standing. I tug the oversized sweatchirt I was wearing over my head before replacing it with the robe. The room filling with soft gasps and 'ooos’. “God, I love this. Guys,” I look around the room, bringing my hands to my face to cover my smile. “I’m getting married!” The room fills with cheers, everyone giggling. I sigh, shrugging off the fabric and laying it over the arm of the couch. “How about we switch gears and we go get dinner, then we can go and, I don’t know, go to PetSmart and play with puppies.”

“I’ll drive, since everyone has had at least a little bit of wine,” Mae laughs.

The group smiles excitedly, moving slowly around to get ready to leave. Thank God for these dorks, he knows I would be lost without them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think! Reblog and comment!

Chapter Five coming Thursday!

#cg writes #love without a name #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x reader #strangers to lovers #arranged marriage #husband!tomholland

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smkkbert · 6 years ago

Text

Do you remember (12/13)

Eight years after Oliver and Felicity became teenage parents, they have everything they could have ever hoped for and more. They have a good life in a nice house. Their marriage is happy, and a second baby is on its way. The calm they have settled in is interrupted abruptly when a stalker starts terrorizing Felicity.

Previous installments in this series: - The best mistake - In my daughter’s eyes - To make you feel my love

Rating: Teen

Previous chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 or read everything on Ao3

Author’s note: I’d love to hear your theories about the end of this chapter. ;)

With racing heart and held breath, Felicity watched Cooper bobbing Gabriel up and down on his hip playfully. He was tapping the tip of his forefinger against the little boy’s nose.

“Come on, Sport, at least give me a smile.”

Gabriel released a low sound, a mixture of a cry and a giggle. He looked at the stranger with his big blue eyes for a moment before he turned his head towards Felicity. He looked insecure like he was waiting for her reaction to tell him if he could trust the stranger or if he should start crying.

Although it went against everything Felicity was feeling, she forced herself to smile. She was already in panic as it was. If Gabriel started crying too, she wasn’t sure she’d manage to keep a clear head, but it was certainly the best she could do.

She needed a clear head, so she could figure out what to do.

Felicity took some deep breaths, trying to push past her panic and past her anger. She wanted to scream at Cooper to give Gabriel back to her and never dare to touch her child again.

All those words John and Quentin had said to her about her stalker and everything she had read about stalkers in general echoed in her head though. Her stalker her escalated quickly, and stalkers were often unpredictable. They didn’t take well to rejection and a lot of them tended to be very aggressive when the target of their obsession forced them to see past their craziness.

“What are you doing here, Cooper?”

Felicity could clearly hear the tremble in her voice, but she guessed that a little tremble was still better than screaming at him from the top of her lungs. She even managed to shoot him the slightest of a smile though she doubted that it reached her eyes. It rather lowered to her stomach and made her insides twist painfully there.

Cooper turned his head towards Felicity. There was a wide smile plastered on his lips that sent a cold shiver down the length of Felicity’s spine. There was something really creepy about his smile. It took a lot from Felicity to not start trembling everywhere.

Just when Cooper was about to answer, Gabriel released a low cry. Tears were willing in his eyes, and he was reaching out his arms for his mommy. Felicity didn’t want anything more than to cross the distance and wrap her little man up into her arms where she knew he was safe. Cooper was already rubbing his hand over Gabriel’s back soothingly though.

“Don’t cry, Little Man,” he told Gabriel with weirdly soft voice that didn’t sound like him at all. “It’s okay.”

Gabriel didn’t seem convinced. He was looking at Cooper briefly before he looked back at Felicity. His insecurity about the situation was written all over his face. When Felicity put on a smile, as little as it reached her eyes, it did seem to soothe Gabriel at least a little though.

“You know, I was so surprised when I heard that you were having a baby.”

Felicity held her breath, looking at Cooper. She was searching for any threat in his voice, but there had been none. It was almost like he didn’t want to reproach her. He was just trying to have a conversation with her. With Gabriel in his arms, Felicity still felt like his words did hold a little bit of a threat though.

Feverishly, Felicity tried to think about what she should answer to Cooper. She wasn’t sure which pregnancy he was referring to. Did he mean the pregnancy with Mae or the pregnancy with Gabriel? Even if she knew, she’d feel clueless about what to answer. She had no idea what exact craze Cooper was caught in. She didn’t want to risk saying something wrong that caused him to hurt Gabriel.

“How long had you been in Starling?” Cooper added, clarifying that he meant the first pregnancy with Mae. “A little more than a year?”

He released a low chuckle, shaking his head. There was a little bit of anger hidden in his eyes, but it didn’t take over the entire expression on his face. It was just a spark that was there. If Felicity hadn’t known Cooper as well as she had years back, she probably wouldn’t have noticed at all.

“I-“

“We have known each other forever, Felicity,” he continued, not letting her say anything. “We have been together for so long.”

They had indeed known each other for a long time as they had gone to the same aid program for kids with advanced computer abilities. They had gone to the same school, and they had even been in some classes together in high school.

Felicity wouldn’t say that they had been together for very long though. They had been friends until they had become a couple. They had both been young and they had mistaken their interest in the same things for something more. At least for Felicity it felt like that now that she was looking back and realizing that she had never felt really safe with Cooper. They had never had a level of intimacy that even came anywhere close to what she had had with Oliver from the very start of meeting him.

“We never went that far.”

Cooper whispered the words, looking at her intently. Felicity just pursed her lips, not replying yet. She couldn’t tell him that the reason she had never had sex with him was simply that she had never felt really comfortable around him. It hadn’t been because of Cooper himself, at least not solely. Felicity just hadn’t felt comfortable with herself yet, and maybe their chemistry just hadn’t worked outside a computer lab.

“I- I never planned this,” Felicity whispered, her voice trembling slightly. “It just happened, and it had nothing to do with us. I mean-“

“Oh, I know.”

Felicity had trouble not to flinch as Cooper took a large step towards her. He was standing so close to her that Felicity could almost smell the scent of his skin. The thought creeped her out as only Oliver was allowed to stand so close to her.

When Cooper lifted his hand, Felicity felt her muscles tensing. She didn’t know if she thought that Cooper was going to hit her or if maybe just the thought of being touched by him freaked her out. She forced herself to stand still instead of backing away when Cooper rested his hand against her cheek and stroked his fingertips over her skin.

For a long moment, he just watched her. His eyes were filled with a somewhat warm and amazed expression, almost like he honestly loved her. His thumb stroked over her bottom lip just as his eyes lowered to them.

Felicity could barely hold her gaze, but she didn’t dare to look away either. She had no idea what she was doing right now. She was just following her instinct and her instinct told her to play along until she’d made a plan that would save at least Gabriel.

“I know it wasn’t your fault,” Cooper repeated, his voice now cold and his eyes angry. “It was your mother’s fault. That selfish bitch never liked me. No matter how hard I tried, I was never good enough for you. She just moved away, taking you with her, and ruining all chances we had at happiness. She forced that Richie Rich guy on you and just-“

Cooper stopped, sucking in a deep breath. He was so angry that his entire body was trembling. He clenched his free hand to a fist and unclenched it a couple of times, timing the movement with his breathing. Felicity wondered whether he had maybe learned that from a professional. Maybe Cooper had been to therapy.

“I- I can see that you are angry,” Felicity said carefully. “Maybe it’s better you leave now, and we talk about this some other time when you are calmer and we are alone.”

There was a glint in Cooper’s eyes that told her that her words were only making him angrier. She regretted departing from the way of playing along to his craze. Something told her that he wouldn’t take another rejection with the same calmness.

“Don’t worry, Babe,” Cooper said. “I am not leaving. This is our chance at happiness. Together.”

Felicity swallowed down the lump in her throat. Still, she wasn’t able to say a single word. Her nervousness and fear made it impossible. One wrong movement or wrong one word could cause Cooper to snap.

Glancing at Gabriel, Felicity felt her heart starting to race. She needed to find a way to get her son out of this danger. His safety was her priority right now.

Gabriel, despite his young age, could probably feel her fear. He was releasing another cry, louder now, and again his arms reached out for Felicity to take him. As soon as Felicity reached out her arms for him, Cooper turned his hip away to get Gabriel out of her reach though.

“I can do that,” he said. “Don’t worry.”

Felicity had to bite down on her tongue hard. As scared as she was about all of this, she couldn’t prevent the hot anger to boil in the pit of her stomach. The longer Cooper was holding Gabriel, pretending like he was close to her baby boy, the angrier she got.

Gabriel’s cries calmed down eventually though Felicity could see that he was just saving some energy to really cry soon. In a couple of minutes, he’d be crying from the top of his lungs. Felicity feared the moment that would happen and she feared Cooper’s reaction if he didn’t manage to calm the crying baby down.

“You know, if you had just told me that you had wanted a baby, I would have made it work for us somehow.” Cooper said.

Felicity’s stomach twisted at the bare thought.

Having a baby with Oliver while they had been still been in high school had been incredibly hard. Neither of them had known who they really were and where they wanted their lives to go. They had been insecure about themselves and their relationship. Having Mae had been the kind of fire test they would have never needed.

Sometimes, it still felt like a miracle that they had made it through all of the troubles and had come out of them only stronger. They had both grown – as individuals as much as they had grown as a couple.

Felicity doubted, no, she knew that this would have never happened the same way if it had had anyone else than Oliver at her side. They had complemented each other through all the years, and they still did now.

“Look, nothing against your kids,” Cooper said. “Madeleine looks exactly like you did when you were younger, and Gabriel does look a lot like me to be honest.”

Felicity was biting down on her tongue so hard that she could taste blood in her mouth. She couldn’t bare the thought that her son was even just the tiniest bit similar to Cooper.

“The two of them would just be so much smarter if they had more of my DNA, you know?” Cooper asked. “Your husband is just not the smartest.”

He almost spit out the word like it was some dirt in his mouth. The pure idea that she had a husband that wasn’t him seemed to insult him.

Felicity pushed that thought as well as her anger away without forgetting about it. She was sure that anger was a lot better motivator than fear was. Fear only paralyzed her, stopping her from doing anything because, if she didn’t do anything, at least she couldn’t do anything wrong.

Not replying to Cooper, Felicity glanced past him at the large clock. It was two p.m., so it would take another hour until Tommy would pick Mae up from the birthday party she was at right now. Felicity didn’t want Mae to be around, but maybe she’d find a way to signal Tommy that something was wrong. All she’d have to do was playing for time.

For a brief moment, Felicity wondered if there were any other options. Since she was almost sure that she couldn’t attack him, she figured it might be her only chance.

Felicity took in a deep breath, warming toward her plan. She couldn’t say that she really succeeded, but she did understand that it was her only option. Well, maybe not the only but the safest option. As long as Cooper was still holding Gabriel, she could only play safe anyway.

“I think Gabriel could need a new diaper,” Felicity suddenly heard herself say. “He will calm down then, so maybe we can… talk.”

Waiting for Cooper’s reaction, Felicity held her breath. She felt like her heart was beating so loudly that even Cooper could hear it. It was beating against her ribs with so much force that it almost felt like it wanted to break them. It would probably run away screaming as soon as it could.

When Cooper smiled, Felicity did her best to get an honest smile on her lips too. She doubted that it worked, but Cooper didn’t seem suspicious. It was quite the opposite actually as Cooper looked relieved and even happy about her suggestion.

Kissing Gabriel’s cheek, Cooper held the baby boy out for Felicity. She didn’t wait for even a split second. She just stepped forward and took Gabriel from him. Their hands touched, but Felicity couldn’t bring herself to care. The relief over holding her baby boy back in her own arms just rushed through her veins and pushed ever other feeling aside.

The moment Gabriel was back in her arms, Felicity pushed her right hip that Gabriel was sitting on further away from Cooper. She put her hand to the back of Gabriel’s head and kissed his forehead. Her hand stayed at the side of his head, cradling it to her shoulder and protecting it from Cooper.

Her instinct to protect her child seemed to only grow now that he was back with her, and she could feel his heart beating firmly in his small body. If it was up to her, Cooper wouldn’t be even looking at Gabriel for just a second longer.

When Cooper nodded towards the stairs, Felicity nodded her head in agreement. She followed him up the stairs and towards Gabriel’s nursery. He went there with a certainty that made Felicity wonder how much time he had really spent here. It definitely looked like he had gotten to know the house really closely.

The thought made the silence that had spread even more threatening. Felicity didn’t want to talk, but the silence left a shrill sound in her ear. It was deafening.

“How do you like the house?”

Lying Gabriel down on the changing table, Felicity shot Cooper a brief look back over her shoulder. He was sitting in the rocking chair, watching her with sharp eyes. She didn’t dare to look at him for too long, afraid that he could see how scared she really was or how much she wanted to escape this situation.

“Not my style.”

It was all Cooper said. From the small mirror at the wall, Felicity could see him continuing to watch her though. He never took his eyes off her, giving her no possibility to even just taking a look out of the window to check if there was anyone who could possibly help her.

“I have been watching you for a while now, you know?”

Cooper’s question made Felicity’s stomach sink. She bit down on her bottom lip, swallowing whatever words were possibly rising in her throat. She had known that her stalker had watched her for a while. There had been too many hints to forget about hat. Yet, hearing Cooper say it out loud and just so casually, Felicity didn’t know how to not feel freaked out about that.

“I could have given you all of this too if you had just given me an opportunity to do so,” Cooper continued calmly. “I can still offer you all of this and so much more. Whatever you want, I will read it in your eyes and give it to you. The flowers and the lingerie were just the start. I have so much more I can offer you.”

Cooper’s voice had started out low and gentle, but it had gotten firm and scratchy by now. A cold shiver ran down the length of Felicity’s spine. She didn’t feel like this conversation was taking a good turn. If Cooper’s voice was any indication, talking about his obsession with her only made the underlying anger about not being with her increase.

When Cooper lowered his eyes to his hands briefly, Felicity shot a look out of the window. There was no one outside it seemed. Calling for help wouldn’t help her at all.

Just when she had pushed Gabriel’s jeans back into place, Felicity heard Cooper getting up from the rocking chair. With slow steps, her neared her. His hands came to rest on her hips before his arms wrapped around her waist. Every muscle in Felicity tensed, and every cell of her body wanted to urge away from him. She didn’t dare to do so though.

“And with both of our intelligence, we can just take over the world.”

Cooper’s voice was soft. He lowered his head a little, pushing his nose against the side of her neck to breathe her in and his lips grazed against her skin. His chest pressed closer to her back until his entire body was close to hers.

Felicity looked down at Gabriel. She knew that because of him, she couldn’t take any too bad risks. With how intrusive Cooper was already, she doubted that she could play along for much longer. Eventually, she’d do something that would make him see that she was about to reject him. If he did and she wasn’t prepared, she’d only be in more danger.

There was no choice to make. She had to be brave and do something. Now.

Sucking in a deep breath and not thinking about it for long, Felicity hauled out and pushed her elbow back into Cooper’s face with as much force as she could use. It was a simple but effective move that John had showed her when he had trained her a little during that hellish year that they had believed Oliver was dead. He had called it trauma management when really it had been more of a self-defense training that had just been supposed to distract Felicity.

Cooper groaned and turned away from Felicity. There was a part of her that wanted to turn around and look, but she knew she didn’t have the time. Cooper would probably catch himself quickly. If he did, she should be as far away from him as possible.

Cradling Gabriel in her arms and holding him against her chest protectively, Felicity ran over to the bedroom. She locked the door behind herself and though she felt like she needed to take a deep breath to get a clear head, she didn’t dare to wait. She hurried over to the window and opened it.

To say that Felicity was afraid of heights was a terrible underestimation. Climbing onto a chair to reach the topmost shelf in the wardrobe already made her feel so dizzy. To escape out of this situation, she might have to overcome her fear of heights though.

Looking out of the window, Felicity checked for any way to get out of there safely. Even if she didn’t have Gabriel with her, Felicity doubted she’d make it out of here alive though. There was no way out other than the door.

Just in that second, a loud noise came from the other side of the door. Gasping for breath, Felicity turned around and held Gabriel, who released low cries, against her chest even more tightly.

“Open up, Felicity!”

Cooper sounded completely crazy now. Felicity didn’t know if a voice could sound crazy, but right now she felt like Cooper’s voice did. He pounded his fist against the door a few more times, and Felicity flinched with every single bang.

“Come on, Felicity, open the door!”

While he continued pounding his fist against the door and kicking against it, Felicity just backed away further and further towards the corner. She knew it was no smart move because there was no way to run away once you had walked into a corner. Her instinct didn’t let her go anywhere else though.

Felicity’s heart was pounding wildly while she was continuing to watch the door. It was already shaking in its angles. It would only be a matter of time for Cooper to break in. The thought made Felicity tremble so heavily that Gabriel started crying out even louder now.

With one more firm kick, the door flew open. Cooper was standing in the frame of the door, looking at her with wild eyes. He was breathing just as heavily as Felicity did. With his hands tightened to fists, anger was written all over his face.

Taking large steps, Cooper walked towards her. Felicity had no idea what to expect. Between being forced to hug or kiss him, being hit and just being killed, she’d trust Cooper to do absolutely everything.

By instinct, Felicity turned away and leaned forward slightly with Gabriel still held safely in her arms. She’d be at Cooper’s mercy now, and all she could do was protecting her baby. It was all she could think about, all she really wanted. No matter what he’d do to her, as long as Gabriel came out of this unharmed, she knew she’d be okay.

When Cooper’s hand wrapped around the back of her neck, his fingers digging into her skin firmly, Felicity hunched her shoulders. He pulled her back like that, forcing her head back as far as possible.

“Look at me.”

His words only made her screw her eyes shut. She didn’t want to look at him. Cooper’s fingers dug even more tightly into her skin though. His fingernails were probably leaving red marks all around her neck.

“Look. At. Me.”

Gabriel’s cries grew even louder, and Felicity didn’t dare to disobey to him one more time. Despite everything, she opened her eyes.

Cooper was looking at her with an indescribable expression on his face. His craze was written all over his face. His obsession and his blindness for reality was so damn visible in his face. Felicity was sure that she wouldn’t be able to predict anything that would happen from now.

“We are going to be together now,” Cooper told her, “whether you want it or not.”

While his right hand stayed wrapped around her neck, the fingers of his left hand brushed against the space between her shoulder blades. From there, they slowly lowered down her back.

Felicity felt tears welling in her eyes. She had never been one to give up easily. She wouldn’t be where she was today if it was any different. Right now, she just had no hope that she could free herself from this. She had no idea what she should do.

Right before Cooper’s hands could lower from the small over her back down to her butt, Cooper was suddenly ripped away from her. Felicity stumbled back a couple of steps as she lost her balance and almost fell to the floor. She was caught by the last second though.

“Lock yourself in Gabriel’s room!”

Oliver half-whispered and half-shouted the words, making sure she was back safe on her feet. Felicity felt a wave of relief almost rushing through her. Before it could really unfold its effect, the adrenaline was already pushing back in as Cooper got back to them.

Just in time, Oliver pushed Felicity out of the way and towards the door. She could feel Cooper’s hands reaching out for her. His fingertips grazed through the tip of her ponytail. It only lasted a moment before he was already ripped away from her again. At least that was what Felicity believed happened from the noises in her back as she didn’t dare to look back and check.

Exactly like Oliver had told her, she ran right over to Gabriel’s nursery and locked herself in there. As soon as the door was locked, her legs that had been shaking the entire time gave in. With her back pressed against the door, she sank down onto the floor, breathing so heavily and yet feeling like she could barely breathe.

She tried to calm Gabriel, who was crying from the top of his lungs now, down. His face was all red and thick tears were rolling down his cheeks. Felicity kissed his temple, rubbing her hand up and down his back and holding him against her gently.

As much as she tried to calm Gabriel down, she doubted that she’d succeed though. Even through the closed door, she could hear the noises coming from her own bedroom where Oliver and Cooper were probably still fighting. She could hear their grunts and their movements and something that she’d probably identify as their punches. She hadn’t thought that you could hear punches, but apparently you could.

There was a loud bang before silence followed. For a long moment, no more sound was to be heard. Everything was quiet. The only sound Felicity could hear was the sound of her heart beating right up into her throat.

A thousand different scenarios flashed through her head. One picture in her head followed the next. There was no time for Felicity to progress any of them. They appeared and disappeared in front of her inner eye too quickly.

When she could hear steps in the corridor, Felicity held her breath. For a brief second, the thought of holding her hand over Gabriel’s lips crossed her mind. As soon as it popped up there, as soon Felicity discarded it again though. Cooper knew exactly where she was anywhere. There was no point in hiding.

The steps came closed until they stopped right in front of the door to Gabriel’s nursery. Onerously, Felicity managed to hold back a sob. She squeezed her eyes shut and almost waited for Cooper to pound his fist against the door once more.

Instead, there was a light knock.

“Felicity?”

Oliver’s soft voice made the sob she had tried to hold back so much fall from her lips after all. Sniffling, she pushed her nose against the crook of Gabriel’s neck, breathing him in.

“Felicity, Honey, it’s me,” Oliver whispered, probably mistaking her silence for something else. “Please, open the door.”

Felicity’s entire body was trembling, and tears were running down her cheeks. The little spark of hope that she was safe now was settling inside of her, but it didn’t spread all through her yet. It didn’t reach the far corners in her brain and in her heart just yet though.

It felt like it took her forever before she managed to get up on her still shaking legs. She had no idea how she managed to keep upright. She did stay on her legs at least long enough to open the door though. After a moment of silence, the door knob turned and the door opened.

Felicity’s breath hitched in her throat when she saw Oliver standing in the door. She looked at him closely. There was a bruise at his right eyebrow, and his bottom lip was split in the middle. The knuckles of his hands were bruised shallowly.

Except from that, Oliver looked like he had gotten out of the fight rather unhurt though.

Sobbing, Felicity threw herself at him. Only one step was necessary for her to reach him. She let her head fall against his shoulder and moved as close to him as possible. Oliver’s strong arms wrapped around her trembling body, holding him as tightly against her as she was still holding Gabriel against her own chest.

Oliver kissed the top of her head over and over again, tightening her arm around him whenever he did. Her hair got tangled in his stubble a little, but Felicity didn’t mind. She loved the feeling of it as it was a feeling, she had grown wonderfully familiar with in the last years.

“I called the police on my way here,” Oliver whispered to her. “It’s all going to be okay.”

Felicity only sobbed harder at the words. For so long, they had believed that everything was going to be okay. Only now that they had definite confirmation of who the stalker was and having probably unconscious in the room next door, they could be really sure that those words were true. Everything was going to be okay.

Still, especially now Felicity had problems accepting this truth. She was still so in shock that the thought of everything being alright eventually seemed incredibly far away. Oliver seemed to sense that. He just whispered the words into her ear over and over again.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, Felicity. It’s all going to be okay.”

* * *

Oliver could still feel the adrenaline rushing through his veins. He was still so high on it that his heart was beating against his ribs with force. It also prevented him from feeling the headache he should probably have from the punch Cooper had thrown at him.

After the police had finally arrived at the scene, they had taken Cooper with him. A crew of policemen had perpetuated evidence, while other officers had questioned Oliver and Felicity about what had happened. Oliver had had been taken to an ambulance to check him through and only because he had seen in Felicity’s face that it had been important to her, he had eventually agreed to it.

Standing in the frame towards the bedroom that was completely destroyed from the fight now, Oliver just realized what a bad ending this could have taken. Cooper had been so deep into his craziness and his obsession, he might have killed him. Oliver had seen an unpredictable wildness in his eyes.

If it hadn’t been for his thorough training with John, maybe this would have ended badly.

A cold shiver ran down Oliver’s back once more. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, sucking in a deep breath. He clenched and unclenched his hand a couple of times, feeling the soreness of his knuckles from punching Cooper over and over again until he had passed out.

For a brief moment, Oliver remembered that thought that had crossed his mind when Cooper had been lying there unconscious. It had just been a split second, but during that second it would have been so easy to just punch him a few times more until Oliver could be sure that he would never wake up again. Oliver had never felt an anger like that before, but he just hadn’t been able to help himself.

Cooper had scared him and Felicity. He had threatened them. He had threatened their kids. It might have been a lot less than other victims of stalking had had to endure, but it had been bad enough for him.

Oliver shook his head quickly. He knew that he had to get that thought out of his head as soon as possible. Otherwise, he’d probably go insane.

“What did the paramedics say?”

Oliver turned his head back to Quentin briefly just when he was stepping behind him and taking a look into the bedroom.

“I’m fine.”

“Good,” Quentin just said briefly and nodded his head. “My team is just packing their stuff. We have your statements, but you will have to come to the precinct in the next days anyway. We can talk about that later though. For now, you should all rest.”

Oliver nodded his head slowly. Mae was going to spend the nights at Tommy’s and Laurel’s, and Donna had just picked up Gabriel. Felicity hadn’t been particularly fond of the idea of having the kids stay away for a night, but Oliver had convinced her that it was better that way. They had to recover themselves first before they could help the kids. Mae and Gabriel were better off with their friends and family for the night, so they wouldn’t see any of this chaos here.

“Where is Felicity?”

“She was outside in the garden when I last saw her.”

“I will go to see her.”

Quentin didn’t say anything more. He just nodded his head and stepped aside to let Oliver pass. He walked downstairs quickly, ignoring the bunch of cops that were running around in the house.

The moment Oliver turned towards the terrace doors, he could already see Felicity. She was sitting on one of the swings in the garden, her head lowered to her hands in her lap. The swing was only moving slightly. Oliver could almost feel her sadness and her shock in his bones like they were his own.

Oliver felt his heart breaking for Felicity. He had been so scared for her already that her own fear must have been unimaginable.

Taking in a deep breath, Oliver walked outside. He let the door fall shut a little harder than necessary. Just like he had hoped, Felicity lifted her head at the sound and looked in his direction. She was smiling softly, but it didn’t reach her eyes. It just made her look even more exhausted.

Oliver didn’t say a word. He just sat down on the other swing and started seesawing slightly. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Felicity leaning her head against the rope of her swing and watching him.

“What’s happening now?”

Felicity’s voice was low, so low that Oliver could barely hear her. He did hear her though and he didn’t even need her to specify what she mean to know it anyway.

“Cooper will be examined by a psychiatrist to check whether or not a mental disease is to be blamed for his crimes,” Oliver said and shook his head. “God, I hope it turns out that he is not just crazy because I want him to rot in prison rather than tinkering necklaces with macaroni.”

Anger was no word for what he felt when he was just thinking about Cooper now. After everything he had done and the long time, he had tried to scare them, Oliver wanted Cooper to suffer from that. Hopefully, a man that was threatening children wasn’t being treated well in prison.

“Honestly, that man deserves so much more than just a few years in prison. If it was up to me, he would-“

“Don’t,” Felicity interrupted him quickly but with soft voice. She moved close to him, taking his hand and lacing her fingers with his. “Don’t let him get into your head and into your heart like that. You will never get him out otherwise, and he doesn’t deserve that.”

Oliver looked at her. Despite her exhaustion, there was a calmness in her eyes that only Felicity could transfer right to him. It was like her eyes reached right into his heart. It didn’t take the rage and the hate he felt for Cooper away, but it calmed it down enough so he didn’t feel consumed by it.

In the years Oliver had known her, he couldn’t count how often he had been amazed by her. Whenever he had believed that there was nothing left that could still amaze him about her, she just managed to take his breath away again. Right now as she was proving how strong she was once more, Oliver couldn’t help but feel amazed by her all over again.

He tightened his fingers around her hand and lifted it to his lips. Never taking his eyes off her, he kissed the back of her hand firmly.

“How are you doing?”

He could see in Felicity’s eyes that something inside of her told her to look away. No matter how strong that urge might be, she didn’t look away though. She kept her eyes on him, holding his gaze.

“I don’t know,” she whispered eventually, shrugging her shoulders. “I think I am still in shock.”

Oliver nodded his head slowly.

When he had unlocked the door of the house and stepped inside, he had heard Cooper’s voice upstairs even though he hadn’t recognized it as he had never met Cooper before. He had ran upstairs and ripped Cooper away from Felicity before he had been able to hurt her like he had probably planned to do in that moment.

The image his eyes had met the moment he had stepped into the bedroom would forever be burnt into his mind. Felicity had held Gabriel clutched to her chest, shielding him with her body, so no harm could come to him. She would have taken everything as long as Gabriel was safe.

“I never felt safe with Cooper, you know?” Felicity asked eventually. “I mean I didn’t think he was dangerous, but I never trusted him in the way that I trusted you. I don’t know how to describe it, but I never felt the way that I feel whenever I am with you. It’s why I couldn’t sleep with him. I should have known it was him sooner. There was always-“

“You couldn’t know, Felicity,” Oliver interrupted her gently, shaking his head. “Cooper hasn’t been a part of your life you’re a very long time. You couldn’t know.”

“I have met him when the stalker was around the first time,” Felicity said. “It’s been weird in a lot of ways, and I got a strange feeling, but it was nothing but a strange feeling, so I forgot about it and-“

“Hey,” Oliver interrupted her once more. He squeezed her hand reassuringly. “It doesn’t matter. It’s over now.”

Felicity didn’t look exactly convinced, but she dropped the topic nonetheless. With a nod of her head, she released a long sigh and closed her eyes. She held her face into the cool breeze while Oliver just watched her. She was as beautiful as always.

When Felicity opened her eyes again, they found his immediately.

“It really is over now, right?”

Oliver nodded his head, squeezing her hand once more. He tugged at her fingers until Felicity got up and sat down on his lap. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and rested her other hand on his chest. Oliver put his arms around her waist and leaned her head back until he could look at her.

“It really is over now,” he whispered to her. “I promise you.”

Felicity looked at him for a long moment like she needed to make sure that he really was saying the truth. Only when she didn’t find any doubt there, she nodded her head. With a sigh, she rested her forehead against his and spread her fingers over his heart.

“Good,” she whispered.

“Yeah.” Oliver tightened his arms around her. “Good.”

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