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lizard-queen-izzy · 10 months ago

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How I think the Archives Gang met eachother [+ their sexualities imo because]

Jon - he falls on the demi-romantic spectrum somewhere. I feel it in my *bones*. [And ofc Asexual. That being canon is *SO SO* important to me.]

•Him and Tim meet during their Research Days. They started around the same time. Tim was the first one in their department who listened when Jon spoke, and Jon was the first one who took Tim seriously. They weren't *close*, but they were friends. They were eachothers support in this new environment, and when Jon got promoted to Head Archivist, he was adamant about bringing Tim with him.

•He met Sasha through Tim. Tim met Sasha one day when he had to go to Archive Storage to follow up with something, and then he promptly dragged Jon there with him the *second* they had a break because he insisted they had to meet. They got along great, bonding over a mutual love of academia and disbelief of the supernatural nature of most of the Institute.

•Jon doesn't officially meet Martin until he's assigned to his Archive team. But his reputation proceeds him, and leads to Jon being hesitant and extremely stanfoffish. It leads to him being rude, until Jane Prentiss attacks him and he realizes that he's just as scared as him. And now he can *do* something, he can help. They further bond while Martin is staying in the archive.

Tim - bisexuality takes human form. And this man *FUCKS*

•Tim and Jon go back to their Research Days. Tim latched to Jon, maybe more than he'd ever admit. It was nice to have *someone* firmly in his corner.

•Tim met Sasha and it was an immediate spark. He knew she was important, he knew he wanted her in his life. [And naturally he *had* to introduce her to his #1 Guy. And when they hit it off he was So Excited]

•Tim knew *of* Martin before they all got reassigned to the Archives team. They'd interacted in passing, water-cooler talk type vibe. Once they were working together he decided Martin was cool. Jon's distaste for him led to slight disinterest, but he realized quickly it was more than likely the stress of the new position so he decided to befriend Martin

Sasha - She's both panromantic *and* aromantic and I can't explain it. The woman exists in multitudes

•She met Tim when he stumbled into her workspace while trying to find an item to fact check something, and instead ended up talking with Sasha while she worked because she made an offhand comment about being a bit spooked working up there alone

•when Tim showed back up with Jon in tow, Sasha knew she was doomed[/pos]. And then Jon was so much like her, but also so unlike her. He fascinated her, she had to know more.

•Sasha met Martin before Jon or Tim did, but also not long before the Archives team was assigned. She met him when he got lost in the shelves of artifact storage, and she found him while organizing when she *literally* ran into him. He got flustered and ran off so she didn't think much of him until they were assigned to a team together.

Martin - Panromantic demisexual. I'm right. Anyway.

•He meets Sasha when she runs into him, dropping the Box of Things she was moving around. He apologized *profusely* and then ran off. They meet again more formally when hes assigned to the archives team, and she's incredibly kind but her academic viewpoint intimidates him

•Tim is someone Martin has Heard Of before. And he's chatted with him in passing/in a larger group before, but nothing formally one on one until the team assignment. He thinks Tim is SO Cool. But he's got that scary ass cat hovering behind him

•Jon TERRIFIES him at first. He's his new boss, and before they've even met,he's decided he's not qualified [which, he's right but he doesn't know that so why is he being mean??] The concern he shows when he hears Martin's statement though? It gives Martin a glint of hope

If there's implications of polyarchives here, maybe so but mind your business.

I think Jon and Tim definitely met eachother first, because they were in the same department. Then it's only natural Tim would find another highly intelligent academic skeptic in artifact storage and what's he gonna do? Not introduce the only other person he considers a friend to her? Of course he's going to introduce them, even if he has to drag Jon by his arms [which he damn near does]. I stand firmly in the court of 'Jon, Tim and Sasha were all much closer Pre-Archives and that was intimidating to Martin because they work so well together'. They're like a well oiled machine. Jon and Tim know eachothers work habits down to a T after working caddy-corner from eachother and and doing so much feild work. Sasha is so fast as finding necessary information and she's still got most of Artifact Storage memorized so she finds stuff up there almost before she's asked. The three of them can almost communicate without speaking, just a few pointed looks or hand gestures and they understand. Sometimes Tim or Sasha will walk in and Jon's hand is up/out for the folder without even lifting his gaze from his own work.

But still, calling them close isn't right. They don't know eachothers personal lives. Sasha only knows where Tim and Jon live from her spying but she's never been to their flats. They've never gotten into the nitty-gritty of their personal reasons for being at the Institute. But they're fine with that. They don't need that to work well together and to trust eachother, so they don't see it as necessary.

Martin probably makes a joke about how close they all are once to Tim and Sasha and is met with blank stares from both. Which does nothing to help him in figuring out what is up with his new coworkers. At least Tim and Sasha are nice to him, that's more than he can say for Jon. Sasha insists it's the stress of the new job and the organization of the archives. Tim tells him to just give Jon time, he'll come around. But no matter what Martin does, it seems to be wrong for Jon. He doesn't know what to do. Other than keep pushing forward and do his job best he can.

And then Jane Prentiss happens. And Martin is trapped in his flat for so long. Alone. And he doesn't know what to do. And he finally gets out and gets back to the Institute, back to the Archives and no one seems relieved to see him at first. Everyone thinks he was out sick? And so he goes to Jon. He gives his statement. And Jon looks genuinely worried, the first expression Martin has earned from him that wasn't a scowl. And he offers the spare room in the Archives since Martin can't go home. And Martin thinks, 'yeah, this is progress'.

It doesn't take long to fall back into the old song and dance though. Jon's all the more stressed with the worms and the statements. And it seems like Martin can't stop messing up.

And then Sasha meets Michael. And Jon's on even higher alert. He's snapping more. Mostly at Martin. Because Martin is the only piece he isn't accustomed to. A new gear Elias rammed into his perfect machine for reasons he can't begin to understand. And it's not entirely fair to Martin but, it's what Jon can control.

#the magnus archives #tma #pre archive jontim #jontim #jonathan sims #jon sims #tim stoker #timothy stoker #martin k blackwood #martin blackwood #sasha james #Pre-Archives gang #canon asexual character #asexual Jonathan Sims my beloved #tma thoughts #rambles #magnus archives #savemejarchivist #jarchivist

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fantasiacafecat · 1 year ago

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I noticed I didn't post any LGBTQ+ stuff or any Skyrim modded Follower content in more than a week. So why not make both right now?

Lgbtq+ headcanons with the Dovahkrew

These are Sexuality and romantic orientations not gender orientation headcanons. Sorry. These are also MY headcanons so if they don't match up with your headcanons it's not personal so please don't get mad at me. I am curious to see your headcanons as well though.

Inigo- Heteroflexible. He is most definitely interested in women and I always head canon that after the events of Skyrim he does settle down with the woman of his dreams who just happens to own a sweet roll shop. But I also feel like he would definitely point out a man's beauty. He seems like a very comfortable in his Sexuality kind of guy.

Lucien- Questioning Asexual Biromantic. He seems more interested in knowledge and learning other things than a relationship. And if someone did ask about his orientations then I feel like he wouldn't be able to answer that because he doesn't really try to experiment with romance of any kind.

Kaidan- Bisexual with maybe a fem preference (including feminine or men). I also see him as Pansexual because honestly I don't think he really cares about what gender his lover is.

Auri- Sapphic or Lesbian. I mean her creator basically made it Canon that she Prefers women.

Rumarin- Panflux 100%. Gender doesn't get in the way when it comes to any type of attraction to one another.

Vilja- I really only know her from a video of Inigo dialogue they have together. If I had to make a guess I would say she's straight or Pan, but I'm leading more into Straight.

Sofia- Bi with a big male preference.

Hoth- I really wish there were more videos and content on his commentary in Skyrim because I don't have him, but I'm interested him so much that I'd love to know more about his character. I feel like he doesn't use labels and gender isn't that much of an issue when it comes to love.

Taliesin- Pansexual. I mean come on its THE Talisman.

Gore (aka bby girl)- Questioning Omnisexual. It just feels right to me

Caryalind- I can't remember if rabbit said his sexuality was Demiromantic Asexual. I know he is Ace (or at least on the Ace spectrum) but I can't remember is they anything about being demi. I think he's Demiromantic.

Lucifer- Polysexual but I feel like he does have a male preference though I could be very very wrong. It's so funny because I play with him a lot on Skyrim but barely know anything about him. He holds grudges, he's very secretive (good on him because i would be too if i was in his situation), and he loves argonians. He seems to look up to Xelzaz and Inigo (and in some sense he does seem to be very enthusiastic when first meeting Nebarra until he realizes he doesnt like his personality) a lot which is what fueled my belief that he's maybe Achillean (Sapphic but for masculine terms instead of feminine).

Nebarra- I 100% believe that he refuses to use any labels. I think he might lean toward women a bit more, but that would only be because of how altmer are only raised to make the perfect child, so opposite sex relationships are probably the most common in the Summerset Isles. His fixation with Niranye and past relationship with Camia shows that. He doesn't seem Asexual because he doesn't hide the fact that he does enjoy the idea of doing the naughty naughty. His commentary on Dibella, Dibella Sybil quest, in the Night to Remember he says how he hopes we got to experience the Dibellan arts, and how he jokes about being Lucifer's father just prove that.

Xelzaz- Don't get mad at me, but I think he's straight. He says when hes ready he's like to marry a female argonian, and the only other time he's fallen I love was with another girl. I don't think he's asexual, but I think he definitely isn't very interested in it though we wouldn't really know because he seems very adamant on wanting to keep that part of his life private (as he should I love a king that doesn't feel like he has to tell us his sexual life).

Remiel- Asexual Panromantic. It was already proved Canon that she's Asexual. I had the conversation with her where she tells is she doesn't feel sexual feelings towards someone as she does with romantic feelings (also good on her. Not every relationship needs to have sexual desire in them). She's fallen in love with boys before and didn't seem too mad about being arranged to another man so I don't want to label her as Sapphic. And she does fall in love with you regardless of gender and I haven't seen anything that says she has a preference from the creator so I believe she's panromantic.

Secunda- I really don't know her that much yet as I'm still playing with her. First impressions is telling me panflux though I could be wrong though.

Extra!

Serana- Without the SDA. She always gave me Asexual Biromantic vibes.

Teldryn Sero- Haven't started A serious Teldryn mod yet so I don't know too too much about his personal preferences, but he seems like the type who doesn't really use labels. Though I'm positive he is Bisexual.

Karina- Panromantic Demisexual. It was confirmed by the one who made her @jewelthejaguar742

Arstul- Asexual Omniromantic with a male preference. Talked with @joonjii about it and it's confirmed. However, they also said he could be panromantic with a male preference too but they said my opinion was valid and technically right.

I might post sexuality headcanons for all my dragonborn and follower ocs

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wherefore-whinnies · 1 year ago

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4 10 20!!! 💚💚💚

4. what is something you wish was more well known about being arospec?

that it exists and is not a subset of asexuality tyvm. like honestly half the time people talk about like ace headcanons and stuff it feels like they're actually talking about aromanticism. it's so confusing like the distinction has always been really clear to me and I never get why this is a thing with other people. I mean. I guess it's hard to "justify" a character being alloace in fandom if they never talk explicitly about sex I guess so they have to point to stuff that seems more to indicate a lack of interest in romance instead? so maybe I am being overly harsh but it always just makes me go hrrrgh.

10. what frustrates you the most about amatonormativity?

literally all of it burn everything down 🤬🤬🤬 I don't really know how to answer the question like maybe examples of amatonormativity that bother me the most? in which case everyone knows how mad I get about fandom culture and ~there's no platonic explanation for this~ etc. etc. etc. pls let people have rich and varied relationships that don't necessarily require romantic or sexual components or have them in non-traditional ways

20. if you fall under one of the arospec umbrella labels, which ones do you use and can you define them for us?

I don't actively label myself because it doesn't feel useful to me, but I do feel a great comfort in knowing that frayrose and lithrose labels exist and I find them very helpful in contextualizing my past experiences with romantic/sexual relationships instead of just sweeping it under the rug like "idk i was straight for some years and then remembered that no, that is stupid" (<- that is a past alear reference it's not stupid for people to be straight). they make things make a lot more sense looking back.

frayromantic means only experiencing romantic attraction to people you don't really know much (basically the inverse of demi), respectively for fraysexual. lithro means losing romantic attraction the instant it's acted on and reciprocated (well, that's one manifestation of it anyway), respectively for lithsexual.

I always kind of found flirting and such to be kind of a game where I win when the other person asks me out except every time the prize turned out to be overwhelming panic, horror, and revulsion. 😰 or I would lose interest upon getting to know the other person better because surprise, they are in fact a person. I don't do person. it's very funny to think back on how in my last relationship I was immediately like "btw I'm going to be very disgusted by this whole thing for the next while. I will try to make it pass asap 👍👍👍" like girl pls... at least that made me realize literally why do I do this now that I am perfectly aware it is a pattern and stop making the mistake of thinking maybe this time it will be different.

(arospec ask game)

#thank you for the ask!!

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stardew-atlantis · 2 years ago

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Can I just say that I absolutely LOVE your oc's? And can I ask for some fun facts abt them?👀🤌

YES, YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN 🥺omg I love talking about my OC's

(Idk which ones you wanted facts from but I'm gonna do all of them because why not)

SJ:

while it's not explicitly written into the fic, SJ is actually demi-romantic as well as asexual. It's why she took so long to realize she wanted to be more than friends with Harvey, they needed to develop that bond and trust first before she was able to see him as a romantic option.

SJ teaches Harvey to play Minecraft. They have their own server together. (Harvey mostly builds things and takes care of animals while SJ mines and fights the monsters for him)

SJ knows how to play piano. (Zephyr wanted them to get along better, so he got Elliott to teach SJ piano as a way for them to spend time together)

SJ got her name from that kid in The Blind Side because I thought the name SJ sounded cool XD

My face claim for her is Marisha Ray (with glasses)

Zephyr:

I've probably said this before but I literally can't find the post on my own blog so I'm gonna say it again. Zephyr was actually based on a DnD character I made for a campaign that never got started. It was a cyberpunk themed campaign, so that's why his last name is V, and he was a cybernetically enhanced human/wizard. Which is ironic, because he's basically my only fully-human OC 😅

Zephyr got his name from fantasynamegenerator.com because I wanted a cool robot name. To explain it in stardew, I headcanon that his mom wanted a "Unique" name for her son so she named him Zephyr. (Also since people have asked me this, it's pronounced 'Zeff-er' in case you were wondering)

SJ was the first person Zephyr came out to when he started identifying as bisexual. (He knew for a while, but didn't actually tell anyone right away) Zephyr knew his parents wouldn't approve, so he decided to tell his sister instead. In return, Zephyr was the first person SJ told when she realized she was ace.

Zephyr has done art studies of Elliott. After they start dating, Elliott offers to be a live model for him.

My face claim for him is Bryan Dechart

Isaac:

Isaac is in his early 30's, about 6 feet tall, and he was originally supposed to be an OC for Haunted Chocolatier, but I wanted him to have a stardew backstory so I added him into the main fic. (Yes I already have fics planned for when HC comes out XD)

I don't have a face-claim for him but I made him on the sims before I made his in-game sprite/portrait. He looks like this! (His eyes were originally supposed to be grey but I am still new to pixel art so they're brown, for now...)

I'm still developing his story alongside the others, so I don't have a ton of lore for him yet, but it's coming!

JS:

JS (Jess) is an actual save file that I made in order to do the Joja route in the game. She was supposed to be the Anti-SJ and I'm not creative with names so I named her JS. Her full name is Jessica Sharp.

JS was the reason I first went for Harvey in the game XD I actually married Sebastian in my first ever save file, but after going through all the bachelor's routes on the joja file, I just fell in love with Harvey and he is best boy.

If you count each sentence spoken by JS in "Everest Farm", 22 of those sentences were lies.

JS is an only child in the family she was adopted into.

Despite SJ being asexual, JS is straight (And my only straight OC)

I do have a sim for her too

Thanks for the ask! Sorry for the Essay, I never get to do this XD

#stardew valley farmer #sdv oc #farmer sj #farmer zephyr #asks #oc fun facts #atlantis farm #shanesbluechicken

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theriverpointace · 7 months ago

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honestly fuck you for that demiphobic post you made. "iF yOu DoN't LiKe SoMeThInG tHeN yOu CoULd NeVeR LiKe It UnDeR aNy CiRcUmStAnCe" hi! that's me! i don't like flirting, physical intimacy, or sex stuff normally, but it's fine when it's someone special! i do in fact have exceptions and i have said word for word "well generally i don't like this, but it's okay when you do it, you're the exception!" assholes like you are the reason demis feel excluded from the ace community! did you do it? did you get validation from the #ActuallyAsexual gatekeepers?

hey. first off, i'd like to apologize for hurting your feelings. i promise you, it really was not my intention to insult or exclude anybody, so please consider this a sincere apology.

however, second, i'd like to respectfully point out that that's not exactly what i said. i made that claim, certainly, and i understand the misunderstanding, but i meant for it to be a joke about my personal experiences. i'm not demiromantic or demisexual, i'm aroace. i don't understand any kind of attraction, period. i know that it's a real thing that people experience. i know asexuality and aromanticism is a spectrum. and i know that i'm at the far end of it. sure, i don't understand the exception thing, but i don't understand the attraction thing, either. that's my personal experience. i thought it was funny that it took me so long to realize that experience, and i wanted to share something kind of silly that happened to me.

i also stated in the tags that i recognize exceptions exist! the example i used was in a platonic sense, but i meant to convey that i don't actually believe in no exceptions, ever.

again, i'm sorry that's how you read my post. i hope you understand that i didn't mean to exclude or gatekeep at all. perhaps, going forward, you could think the best of others instead of immediately attacking them.

#ask tag #anon #talk tag #yeah that was kinda vicious to find so suddenly in my inbox

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fuck-you-showerthoughts · 3 years ago

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I used to be like, "why do asexuals need community??" but I saw that shit getting said by terfs, and I realized what a slippery slope it is. So I actively meditated on asexuality, kind of like convincing myself into being a better person, and eventually I realized I have never had a sex drive lol. I felt so dumb making fun of people for not knowing they're queer, and I done went and did it myself! That's how I know terfs choose to be terfs, because I made the choice to learn instead of exclude.

Thank you for ur perspective anon!! I'm ace (demi) personally & given that it took me literally falling ass first in love w/ someone to realize what I was missing there I rly do get how easy it is to write off asexuality (and aromanticism) as fake or 'not queer enough'. It's very much a 'you don't know until you KNOW' kind of situation so it can be unfortunately easy to fall into discriminatory habits, ESPECIALLY if someone is ace themselves and doesn't know it. Props to you for the self reflection!

#asks

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cuubism · 4 years ago

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Honestly the way you just described the nuances of asexuality made me realize that my experiences around sex aren't weird. Like I always thought I was so strange because I never really saw people and went "wow I'd really like to have sex with them" and like I enjoy sex and am attracted to my partner now but I wasn't until I actually had legitimate serious feelings for him. I've always used sex as more of an emotional intimacy thing instead of a "wow I'm so attracted to you I really need to have sex with you". I always thought I was so strange for not experiencing sexual desire like my peers and honestly it's so nice to see a story that has aspects in it that I really relate with.

definitely not weird! it sounds like you might find people with similar experiences in the demi community in particular. i think it’s particularly tough for demi and gray-ace people (esp sex-neutral or sex-positive people) to feel that their experiences of sexuality are okay, because they don’t quite feel ace but they’re not allo either. and society is very allocentric, and education around asexuality (and sexuality in general lbr) is nonexistent. but slowly slowly that knowledge is becoming more mainstream and hopefully helping more people such as yourself find others to relate to :) i’m glad you found it relatable and helpful! ❤

#demi magnus #adjacent content #sexuality #asexuality #Anonymous #Ask

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hollyhomburg · 6 years ago

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Ok hi I'm demi and I've had sexually traumatizing experiences before so your depiction of Taehyung in DCIIH makes me so happy I almost criedb thank you so much. Asexual/a-spectrum people don't get a lot of representation and I've been in love with this series for a while so to see a character shaped in a similar way to how I've been, I just really can't thank you enough 💕💕 I've been reading since around chapter 5? I think? But I'll stick around to the end and probably reread it afterwords. Ily

💕💕💕OH MY GOD HELLO JUST WANNA SAY FIRST OFF THAT LIKE I SEE YOU REBLOG AND LIKE MY THINGS ALL THE TIME AND IT MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY WHEN I DO, 💜💜💜 LIKE I KEEP TRACK ON MY REGULARS AND THEY ALWAYS MAKE ME UWU WHEN I SEE YOUR NAME,💜💜💜 ALSO I ALWAYS READ IT IT AS BENJIMINIE INSTEAD OF BENJAMIN💕💕💕

one of the reasons that I decided that it made sense if Taehyung was Asexual is because I’ve actually kind of realized that I might be? obviously not in the same way that other people are because I'm not sexually repulsed (most of the time- though I was sexually repulsed by my ex-Shane in a serious way) and I've had a lot of sex but only enjoyed about 10% of those encounters (literally I made a spreadsheet and did a bunch of stats to try and figure it out) most of the time sex just doesn't do the same thing for others as it does for me. I just don't get into sex and enjoy it like other people do.

that was one of the reasons why I really wanted to write a piece about an asexual character because most of the time I see asexual characters portrayed as the “just SCIENCE, no TOUCHING” intellectual types. which just isn’t accurate. Tae is one of the most flirty and aesthetic appreciative people in DCIIH, he sees beauty But doesn't feel it as sexual attraction.

I'm so glad that i managed to give you a well-represented story, a fantastic one that has inspired me really heavily (both in my writing and my whole life as well- because holy shit it’s like so so good, like so good) that features an asexual hoseok that I think you might enjoy is the FRAGMENTS SHORED SERIES

I've read it upwards of 4 times because it literally healed me the first time I read it, and every time I start to get sad I re-read it again (seriously its like 450,000 words and still ongoing) it’s so poetic, and it is the most honest portrayals of mental health, mental illness, Sexuality, and Love that I've ever read in published and unpublished fiction. like seriously, this story should be on the best seller list. I enjoyed it more than I enjoyed the throne of glass series.

Also if anyone knows this authors tumblr please tell me because I really really want to thank them. One of these days I'm going to comment on every single part of fragments shored with a detailed list of every moment I loved- because I'm like obsessed with it. I check every day to see if they’ve posted a new part. but serious trigger warnings come with it, all of it is angst with a happy ending though.

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mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune · 3 years ago

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I'm Only Posting To Share This Link To Owl House Petition (And Say I Found ANOTHER Toxic-Religious Person)

I wasn’t going to post anything until a few more months....

but this needs to be said........

The Owl House NEEDS another Season,

it's bad enough what happen to Wander Over Yonder.

and yeah to me it sucks what happen to the Realm of Magic in SVTFOE, I mean Stars family MISUSE the magic and then Star decides to put the full blame on the magic,

instead of her two-faced Mom....that is scapegoating.

I still love SVTFOE and even MLPFIM and even Steven Universe and Steven Universe Future.

but at least I can point out that the characters in it, can be pretty messed up in their so called view of justice.

and if it turns out that Owl House is being cancelled because of a certain reason....

then maybe it be best if Cartoon Network took it away from them.

yes I'm a little bit annoyed with Cartoon Network too, with the whole non-stop Teen Titans Go,

but at least that show has hope to stop before it becomes just as bad as a cartoon that is on Nickelodeon....the same one that was suppose to end after the show’s creator died, and it turns out that the said show’s creator wanted the show that is Spongebob to end, but after he died the people who run Nickelodeon went against his wishes....and some of us had no idea until now.

the show is still good, but the non-stop broken marathon had put me in a bad place before....and made me have some dark thoughts.

I don’t mind watching Spongebob once in a while, but I don’t want to too much after having to put up with it for some months.

here is the link to the petition for the Owl House

https://www.change.org/p/disney-don-t-cancel-the-owl-house-diversity-is-important-give-us-season-4

I also want to say, that at first I wanted to watch to make sure I was mistaken....

that the girl who had the video titled

A Christian's Response To Disney Debuting First Bisexual Lead Character

as I thought I was misunderstanding, but the more I heard her....

I found out that I wasn’t mistaken........she’s one of THEM.

disgusting filthy insensitive.....and she DARES call what she was feeling some kind of......I HATE Her so much, even if we are lucky that NOT all Christians think the way she does.....but it still peeves me off.

even if I wanted to go by Neo-Christian/Ma-Acolyte,

but then started to having thoughts of no longer going by Neo-Christian, but just Neo-Spiritual instead.......

I think I have decided to no longer go by Neo-Christian...

I can still believe that there are still good people who go by Christian or Neo-Christian.......but I’m just so mad at that person.

does she even realize that even with some same bio-sex couples,

sure she pretty much points out that a “Man and Woman are a normal couple”

so wait what does that leave me...?

I mean yeah I had figured out that I am more of a Female and Nonbinary,

and started to go by Gyno-Agender, and I feel I am in a Chrysalis Stage right now and might just go by Feminine-Nonbinary and still go by She/Her.

and even if it might turn out I might be Intersex, even if I get a Yes to my question about that from my pendulum.

but I am still not 100% sure if I am Intersex......

when we are born either male or female, at times there will be those who will be born Intersex but still be male or female.....some Intersex bodies will be noticeable and others will not be so......the babies that aren’t notice to be intersex after they are born, are the lucky ones....

and I’m sure some knows what could happen to the unlucky ones...

but they will only be unlucky, if their parents aren’t inhuman jerks who take the choice away from them.

no matter if I’m a Earth Angel or not, but that girl should just shut her trap.

yeah even if it’s okay for someone to be free to say what they want,

and not everyone has to agree with them but try to respect the differences.

but that Toxic-Christian is going TOO FAR........

not everyone is a Toxic-Christian, or any type of Toxic-Religious person.

and the Semi-Toxic Religious types have a chance to change, I think...

NOT ALL MAGIC IS EVIL WITCHCRAFT you insensitive prick.

I still believe in God and Jesus,

but I’m going to hope to go live with Earth Mother....

and by Mother, I mean the Goddess....

I mean yeah I can’t stand Toxic-Religious people like her....

and I had a bad experience with one a few years ago,

who kept misusing the words “may the lord have the mercy on you.”

just because I believe in a Goddess now too......

I have to be in the Neo-Religious closet, Gender Identity closet

and the whole being Aroaceflux closet......

I know I said this before, that I wanted to come out to my family

well to my Mom, about being a Asexual Flux........

but it didn’t work out because when I wanted to get her thoughts on what she thought about Asexuality, her answer made me decide to NEVER tell her.

as well as after I did get the answer from her, and her thoughts.

I went to my room, and ended up crying.

it hurt knowing I can’t tell my family....because they are stuck in their ways....

and might only be only a Semi-Toxic Religious......if it’s Semi, it’s not so bad.

it’s the full toxic ones I can’t stand....

there are some things that are really REALLY messed up...

I mean Mary Magdalene was NOT a prostitute for one,

that was just a big fat lie....

I really need to listen to some comfort music right now....

because of that person.

right now I’m listening to Born Without A Heart by Faouzia, right now.

I had finished listening to F**k You by Lily Allen....

once again everyone has a right to their own opinion,

but there is some things you should NOT cross the line of.

that person did just that.......

also I know a person like her, would probably make me feel bad...

I mean yeah I ran into her kind before.......a toxic-religious person,

who even if you try to tell them how bad they are making you feel,

and making you cry....because of you believing in a Goddess too or if you happen to see yourself as both Binary and Nonbinary....

but no matter how much you try, it doesn’t get through and they will keep doing it.........I really can’t stand her......I only found out about her and her video, and I already really hate her.......

I’m sorry, but that is just how I feel....I really REALLY hate her.

and no matter if you are religious or atheist, I’m sure you might think she was taking it too far....

it’s not like she is the type to believe in Earth Angels,

or the fact that some percent of them will be born as Nephalem....

and just in case I might be a Nephalem....I do have a plan to get certain gem to block any dangerous powers that might end up appearing....

I did get a Yes when I asked “Archangel Azrael, am I a Earth Seraphim.”

to my pendulum....I asked that other times before, and when I asked it again just now....I got another Yes.

I even asked if I am a Demi-Succubus, got another Yes.

but I wasn’t a Succubus when I was a baby,

babies no matter what bio-gender they are, they don’t start out as a Incubus or succubus....when we are babies, we start out as Cambion...or in my case I was a Demi-Cambion......

but Demi-Succubus, aren’t like the OTHER Succubus....

because of the mix Spiritual/Soul Heritage,

it is possible for a Earth Angel to end being a Demi-Succubus.

unlike the normal Succubus, such sexual energies

that can be given off by others can be harmful to Demi-Cambion,

which is what a Demi-Succubus

(or Demi-Incubus, if there are any.) starts out as before they fully mature.

anyway any form of sexual energies that either it be from a teenager or adult, that kind of energy that is given off

even if they are just standing a few feet away or maybe in another part of the room from the Demi-Cambion Child...

it can be dangerous and can cause the Demi-Cambion to have a seizure.

if the Demi-Cambion is a Earth Angel as well, there can still be another reason for the seizure to happen.

such as the negative energies that either people or a place is giving off,

the best thing is to move to a place with less negative energy.

and perhaps get some gems to act as a protection against not just the sexual energies, but also the negative energies.

also when a Demi-Succubus does become a Mature enough, they might end up dream walking without really meaning to.

but instead of the dreamer they walked into the dream of being in danger,

it is the Demi-Succubus.

who will be in a type of trance caused by the other dreamer, this power is normally caused by a Succubus or Incubus,

who will use their powers to put a Human who is in their dream into a type of trance just to take what they need from them.

but as for a Demi-Succubus, it might be the other way around....

the only way for a Demi-Succubus to protect herself or themself,

is it possibly get a Dream-Catcher, well before I got the big dream-catcher I have now...well to me it seems to work so far, and that is what I believe.

I became self aware of what was going to happen in a dream I was having,

lucky the dream changed...

but I didn't want to go to sleep after what could of happen, so I had tried to keep myself awake until I got a Dream-Catcher to protect me.

and well I know before that happen,

I think I might of had a encounter with a Incubus, I know I was on my back and it was really dark and I was like between awake and asleep.

and I felt something that was too real and it scared me fully awake....

after that happen I had to get some extra protection so it didn't happen again.

it's fine that not everyone believes in this stuff.

I mean if others want to believe it, it should be because they want to

and be the free will of their very one to do so.

and not forced into it.

it’s not likely that toxic-religious girl will agree what I’m saying or understand my feelings....or why she makes me so mad.

she might too far gone into the corruption that hides in the indoctrination.

even if there are those who might be strong willed to not fall into it,

and still hold onto their religious belief,

if one is not careful they will fall prey to the darkness that hides within it....

I want to try to relax and maybe try some meditation later,

maybe after watching some cartoons and maybe after I play Mass Effect.

I think I am calming down a bit, when I first saw the video I got really mad and tried to think that it might be a misunderstanding and it wasn’t them that had that view........but I was wrong.

it’s a wonder why I end up being Semi-Misanthrope, I still like humanity and I know there are still good people in this world.....but it’s humans like HER that get to me....or the ones who misunderstand my words too far, the small misunderstanding is okay, but do not twist my words and at least try to understand what I was trying to say.

the reason why I gave up about trying to get people to listen,

about the dangerous of those who will pretend to be those who are discriminated because they feel different from the bio-sex they were born in,

is because those who read what I had wrote before kept missing the point and didn’t understand what I was trying to point out.

yes those who pretend to feel that way, will most likely hurt those who truly feel like they were born in the wrong body, but no matter how much I tried to my words only got twisted and misinterpreted.

if someone truly feels they don’t match the bio-sex they were born in originally,

then they should be free to be the gender identity they are on the inside.

and shouldn’t have to put up with those jerks who dare to pretend just so they can do something bad.....no matter if it’s a man or woman, it is possible to happen....and well the reason why I gave up on it, is because people kept misunderstanding and not getting what I was trying to point out.

it is possible that I’m not sure, it was the cause of a fight I had with someone before....yeah they unblocked me after we made up, but they refuse to tell me the cause of the fight so we could work it out.....and even said they would block me for good on here, if I keep asking.

well I let it get to me too much, and it didn’t help there was other stuff going on that was upsetting me before...but yeah I ended up with a second depression.

after I got fully better (and one of the signs was that how Boss Baby made me laugh.) I had figured out how messed up things were....and how things were solved wasn’t right.

I mean before that fight happen, I was having a bad time at home.

because of my older cousin and his well now ex-family...

at some point I ended up with a few months of depression.

I know before the move I tried to tell my Mom what I remembered from when I was little.......that my Older cousin forced a kiss on me, and of course she tells me he would never do that, which then made me believe that it was just a dream......a dream that was possibly a warning dream.

at least that was what I was believing......that it was just a warning dream.

if a Angel sends you a warning dream, there is some dream warnings

that should NOT be shown to a little kid....

even if I don’t remember much during that time....

it might of been a good thing I didn't figure out that my two older cousins were

not really good people, and the male one was more dangerous.

I did try to tell my Mom about what I had remembered from when I was little, which I can only hope didn't really happen and it was just a dream that was telling me he can't be trusted.

of course after he had "hurt" his step-daughter, she finally listened when I had talked about it again.

I can't help but think, if I was listen to.....maybe he wouldn't of end up hurting his step-daughter a few years later.

but what happen when I was really little, might of not been a dream at all.....

I know what I can remember, when it did happen....it gave me not good feelings, it's like being emotionally hurt.

and if I didn't tell my Mom or anyone else before,

it was possibly because I was too traumatized

and I gave myself as type of amnesia.

and I think I was suppose to remember it, but because I wasn't taken seriously

enough and the view on my older cousin was that

"He would never do that."

I was made to believe it was just a bad dream. but I'm starting to believe it wasn't a dream at all, even if I wish it to be so....wishing it was just a warning dream.

I mean it would be pretty messed up if a Angel let that kind of warning dream happen to a little girl.

that is just messed up,

and NO Angel should be allowed to cause such a warning dream.

just have a trusted family take the child by the hand in the dream and lead them away from the dangerous family one, while the trusted family says "stay away from them, they are dangerous." that works better than what I can remember.

maybe it really did happen and it wasn't just a warning dream, and my calling it just a dream is my way to deny that it really did happen.

I have my pendulum to thank for that, making me start to rethink about it as something that might not really been in a dream that was trying to warn me to stay away from him. but because it really did happen.....

I should try to talk to my family about it sometime.

I don’t think I can believe it was just a dream or warning dream anymore.

he didn’t even hurt his step-daughter yet at all, when I told my Mom what he did when I was really little....something that she convince me didn’t happen because he would “never do that” and that I must of been dreaming, or like it was a bad dream.

well if it was a bad dream, then how come a few years later

he ends up assaulting his own step-daughter, and he is in jail for it now and I hope he stays there for the rest of his life....to me even if we might still be biologically family........to me he stop being family the moment I started to realize I was right about him....

even if I can trust some of my family,

I know now that not all of them could be trusted.......

and I was clueless to it until now.

after finding out what he did, and me bringing up again about the whole “dream” that I had forgot about until now to my Mom again.

she now believes me, that it might be a warning dream.

but I don’t think I can believe it was a dream or a warning dream anymore.

that it really did happen and it was so traumatizing I had gave myself amnesia.

it is possible when we are little,

we need to protect ourselves by burying unpleasant memories.

even ones we never saw as harmful before until we remember them and started to realize certain actions were NOT normal.

I have to accept the fact that my first kiss,

was stolen and it wasn’t a happy one.

and after it did happen, it caused bad feelings....

I believe it might of started out when I expressed that I found boys gross.

I mean little boys and little girls will feel that way, that is normal.

what isn’t normal is being picked up and the forced kiss on the lips

and then being dropped and then the monster leaving....

and the bad feelings happen next......even if I remember only a little,

I think I might of cried...

I don’t think it was a coincidence of me remembering it.

I think I was suppose to remember it, and before my Older Cousin

had hurt his step-daughter, I had told my Mom about what he did to me.

from what I can remember.....but like I said, she told me he would never do that.

and even made me believe it was just a bad dream.....but a few years later,

he assaults one of his step-children....that is more than just a coincidence.

plus if he truly did force a kiss on me and him being way older than me,

he should of known better.

if I was listen to, maybe he wouldn’t of end up hurting anyone.

I don’t think I was around him very much after we had moved the first time to go live with my Grandpa.....which might of been good, it is possible if I became around the same age as his step-daughter (the age he hurt her.)

he might of end up doing the same thing to me.

I mean that is possible...

I’m gonna hope another thing I asked to my pendulum

(which the question was for Azrael.) didn’t really happen

and it was just negative energy hacking my pendulum and pranking me.

at least that is what I want to believe anyway.

but then I asked another Angel about it, and I got the same answer....

I mean my pendulum does pull pranks on me, but I’m not sure if what I asked with my thoughts, really did happen....

I guess the only way I can hope for a confirming,

is to pray that he confesses to it.

I mean one of the other things that I was praying for,

that was for my Mom’s sake. had finally came true in a way.

so maybe if I hope and pray that he confesses the really bad stuff he did in the past, he will get life.

I can just try to hope that one of the things that I am worried he did and I got a Yes reply from my pendulum about it, didn’t really happen.

I don’t want to say what it is, but I’m gonna hope he didn’t.

maybe I can just hope that some hypnosis is used on him and it gets him to admit some dark secrets....

I mean that toxic-religious girl and her video,

might be bad but she isn’t as bad as him....but she is still bad in a different way, but he takes a higher level place of being really bad.

anyway I’m gonna try to do stuff to make me happy, to try to make me feel be more better after the whole toxic-religious girl and the video she put on Youtube.

if I had tried to tell her my feelings, it is not likely she would listen.

she might even do the same thing another toxic-religious person did to me a few years ago, which no matter how many times I told that other person how bad they were making me feel, they just kept misusing those words at me and I had to block them because of it.

yeah I can say that I’m really mad at that girl for that video.

but I know I can’t make her listen to reason.

I have the video on pause right now, but I will try to watch it more after I do the things I want to do to help me feel a bit more happy and less unhappy.

I also want to say that I really hope another thing I asked my pendulum,

is just one of it’s pranks.....

I'm just gonna hope my pendulum is pulling a prank about me having been in

hell in one of my past lives because of some sicko cultist...

so no matter if that happen or not, I do still hope that ANY cultist who tries to pull that same crud, will have their hands feel like they are on fire even if there is no real fire on the said hands.

I mean even if it were possible that the one protected me was Stolas

(not the Helluva Boss character, that is not the one I mean.)

until Azrael came to retrieve me....

but even if I did ask that question with my thoughts while using my pendulum, and the question was for Azrael......

my pendulum could still be pulling a prank on me.

it does that at times, like when I got really worried about someone and thought something really bad happen, I asked my pendulum and well....

I think it was just feeding off my worries and pulled a prank, so I will need to do something about my pendulum later.

like trying to make it give a truthful answer and not a lie or prank answer.

I hate those sicko cultist with every part of my being, no matter if I was given a prank answer from my pendulum or if it is true...

if that had really happen to me in a past life....

I will not forgive those cultist, they don't deserve it.

but I'm gonna just hope that my pendulum is just pranking me about that.

I mean I asked or at least tried to, ask Azrael if Stolas is protective of me....

but my pendulum could still be pulling it's mean pranks on me.

the answer I got was "Yes" but my pendulum could still be pulling a prank on me....like I said many times, it tends to do that at times.

even if half the time it can be truthful.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who went through the whole

"Pendulum Pulls A Prank Me", I haven't really used a pendulum for very long.

it did freak me out when I did get it, and it started to move like crazy.

before I learned I can ask it stuff, I had learned to make it move by my thoughts.

and I guess I have learned to program it, on how to give replies to either Yes or No, or it being both Yes and No.

my pendulum pulls pranks on me when it doesn’t give out a truthful answer.

I’m use to it happening.

before I figured out I can ask it or ask through it, or learned I can make it move where I want it to by thought.

when I had first held it and it moved, it freaked me out and I didn’t have anything to do with it until some time later.

I even decided to check again about the whole in one of my past lives as a baby, I was used as a sacrifice by satanic cultist....

the question was for Azrael, and I got another Yes as a reply.

even if some people might think it is wrong to hope that those kind of sickos will have their hands feel like they are burning even when fire is not present.

but that is what I want to happen, even if their hands don’t really catch on fire,

it should made to feel that way....

ya know like when you forget to turn off the hot water first but when you turn off the cold water first, you end up burning your hands a little

because of the hot water.

if it isn’t a prank and if it really did happen, then I have a right to be mad at sickos like that just like I have a right not be happy with that toxic-religious girl.

I think it would make sense that Azrael, would have to go get baby souls

that had been used in such way....just for some sick and twisted ritual.

i know it isn’t just babies that go through that,

but no matter what age it still isn’t right.

I even got another Yes about it being Stolas protecting me before Azrael came to get me....once again, my pendulum pulls pranks on me.

and according to what I was asking, he didn’t come to get me right away.

and if it isn’t a prank and if it is true that Stolas kept me for a few years of that past life....that would mean that he acted as a adoptive parent and possibly protected me from other demons until it was time for Azrael

to come to retrieve me.

I mean I do find flowers pretty, and I do find space to be interesting.

but I don’t think my interest in it has anything to do with Stolas.

at least I don’t think so....I did get a Yes reply from my pendulum when I asked if Stolas acted like a adoptive parent to me and protecting me from other demons....

well I did find out that the one who I thought was my soul dad,

turns out to be well my soul grandpa, and my soul dad is well someone else.

even if some sicko humans do such a terrible thing,

and their victims end up going to Heck....

they don’t stay there long, because Azrael goes to rescue them.

it’s fine that not many believe that, I’m not gonna force others to believe it.

I mean like I said my pendulum pulls pranks on me.

but I’m willing to believe that Azrael does go down to that other realm

when they are send there through a ritual because of jerks.

even if it is true I already have a contract with Stolas,

but it is a adoption contract, where he became my adoptive father...

it could still possibly be my pendulum pulling a prank....

once again, NOT the Helluva Boss’s Stolas....

if it were true and not some prank, that would mean that Stolas is the adoptive father of a Earth Angel....

I still rather go to Earth-Heaven, to go live with the Goddess.

“Heaven” might not just appear as a infinity of sky and cloud,

there can also be what appears to be Earth, like trees and stuff.

not everyone has to believe that, and that’s fine.

I rather only talk about this kind of stuff once in a while.

and talk about fan theories of my favorite video games or cartoons or movies.

I don’t know when it will be, when we will try to test my blood again

to see what type I am...

I mean the last successful try, it came out as O RH D Negative.

my Mom is a RH Negative too...but even if it did turn out that way the first time for me, I wanted to make double sure and see if it will show the same result.

but this time I figured out I do much better doing the test,

by keeping my eyes closed the whole time.

well unless when I have to open them for a little bit.

I didn’t end up feeling warm or dizzy when I kept my eyes closed.

I’m not sure if I have a slight fear of blood, I mean it might be possible I might be but it might not be that....

I plan to eat a lot of food and drink something first,

before I start that home test again that tells you what blood type you are.

as well as keeping my eyes closed just in case

what I was feeling isn’t because I needed food.

if it comes up the same as last time, I know what some people say about that kind of blood type, which half of it could be just rumors.

I hope the next post I do on here, like in a few months....

it can just be talk about my favorite shows and ships.

I just want to hurry up and post this and just do some stuff to help me feel more happy after finding that video on youtube....

I can only hope that some of you checked out the link to the petition to save Owl House...

and I know for sure it is possible that me being a descendant

of Mary Magdalene, is just one of my pendulums pranks.

so I’m not gonna worry about that for now.

the best thing I can try to do is try not to let toxic-religious people

like that girl on youtube, get to me.

even if they get me really mad.

I do feel a little sleepy, but I think I should try to relax and try to get a bit more happy first before I go to sleep.

I am a bit more calm now after that girl peeved me off, so that is good.

I will just watch some cartoons and then later after I sleep,

I will do some meditation.

I would be surprised if this was read fully, without anyone misinterpreting any words that were said.

I will sign in later or tomorrow to check out some stuff on here,

I was able to check out a short comic about the owl house on here.

I will check out more on here later or tomorrow, ‘

but I’m not gonna post anything else until a few months.

this is a acceptation because of that girl on youtube made me mad enough to talk about it, as well as wanting to show the petition to all owl house fans.

I’m a fan of Owl House too, and I hope a lot of fans see that petition.

I hate that I grew up with Monsters, that I didn’t know were REAL monsters until I started to remember certain stuff from when I was really little.

I hope this will be the last post until a few months, like I had plan it to be.

I’m just gonna try to relax and hope that everything works out.

I will watch some episodes first before I go to sleep,

to help me relax and be in a more better mood.

it be nice if the whole the Aliens from Mass Effect being Real in Real Life,

wasn’t a prank....but my pendulum pulls pranks on me and no matter how many times I ask it keeps giving a Yes.

even got a Yes once again about the Krogan living on Mars in Real Life.

anyway I’m gonna go now, I will watch episodes of a show first

before I go to sleep.

so see ya later and stay safe everyone....

#save_the_owlhouse #toxic religious people #toxic youtubers #Mature warning #pendulum #truth or lies #talking about feelings

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