#made me quit reading them so hard and fast lmfaooo

[handledwithgloves]

two very popular drarry fics that i did not care for and why

in the past however long of my becoming a drarry stan ive read many fanfics and i can say only two had really gotten me so pissed i had to log off

and thats not to say that i never dnf a drarry fic before because i have done that to so many for various different reasons. ive also read plenty dead doves do not eat so… this is saying something i suppose.

and this is no hate at all to the writers of these fics they clearly love what they do and are super talented and no hate to the enjoyers of these fics, like what you like. this is just my person experiences.

first is, harry potter and the welcome to the world of grey. i just gotta say i did not get the hype at all. i hated voldemort so much everything he says to harry is meant to be philosophical and insightful and whatnot and that makes harry question whether or not voldemort is truly evil but mans just talked way too much for my liking. he needed to be shut up and every time harry was tryin to beat on his ass he stopped for whatever reason - i was so pissed. like atp just kill each other istg. and then harry is supposed to be conflicted and all alone and he cant trust dumbledore and he doesn't want to face the consequences of his actions and go to jail for killing someone, well too bad pookie! get tf over yourself you're a bad guy now. not only did you kill twice but both times you killed it was not in self defense but your own willingness to do so. like the drarry was good, in fact so good that i got about 3/4ths way through before i had to quit. the drarry was carrying this story and i understand if drarry stans love it solely for the drarry but if there's going to be other parts of the story i need it to make sense to me. harry and voldemort's characters were just not doing it for me.

second, is the mirror of ecidyrue series. It started off soo well, so well. i loved how all the characters were so in character and everything was cool and draco was powerful and his power was mysterious and bella was scary. i loved how harry met draco and how hermione started trying to befriend him i loved the friendship bracelent draco made her and that snape helped. i even loved jealous harry when draco and charlie were flirting and harry was like 'how old are you again, charlie? 25!? well draco's 14' and charlie started freaking out 'um, 21'. so anyway, strong start! but theeennn... we get later on in the series and for some reason draco starts changing? like yes he gets influenced by the people around him but all of a sudden he's like hyper fem which is not a bad thing in general but definite ooc - i like draco's character so i would prefer him to be in character but whatever i was able to ignore it until they started giving each other nicknames. oh god the nicknames were the worst part. like i get they're cringey kids they do dumb things draco is no exception apparently even though mentally he's like 21 hanging out with 14 yos. so yeah i had to absolutely stop when draco was having sex with 16 yo harry and harry starts calling him dragon in a sexual way... yeah i just had to stop there. i was getting way too much second hand embarrassment that it was pissing me off. i did not like draco lmfao. also i hate that they made lucius abusive lmao.

once again just disclaiming this is no hate to the writers or enjoyers of these fics i just couldnt stomach the stories and thats my own personal fault. i just wanted to share what i thought lol. they definitely made an impression!

[desertno3]

Violet – Chapter Three (4/7)

When Sean finally meets his daughter, you wonder why you ever left him in the first place.

Sean Wallace x fem!reader Chapter Three: 1540 words

Prologue // Chapter One // Chapter Two

A/N: Me? Taking time out of my day to create an entirely new gif to fit the vibe of this chapter? It’s more likely than you think. I have been wanting to make a gifset of Sean + smiling lmfaooo so hey it works out.

Taglist: @ysmmsy​ @prettyinpayne​ @the-a-word-2214​ @peakywitch​ Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist for this series!

“Mum, where’s Sean?”

“I told you, he’s working.”

“But where?”

“I don’t know, Vi.”

Your daughter makes an unsatisfied noise. “When will he come back?”

“I don’t know the answer to that either, love.”

And you really didn’t. Before he left, Sean had told you that they’d finally got a hold of the people responsible and that he was going to go and deal with them personally. You didn’t press him for any more details than what he’d offered. Just because you had reevaluated your stance on his lifestyle did not mean you were ready to know the ins and outs of it. It already unnerved you enough that these were actual people who more than likely wanted you or Violet harmed and knowing anything more than that would do a greater number on your psyche, that much you knew. The only thing you wanted to know was that they would never get a chance to come for you or Violet ever again. How that would be guaranteed you left up to Sean to figure out - and judging by the look on his face before he left, you were sure he already had.

“Do you think that he’ll like this?” Violet asks you, holding up the little picture she’d been working on.

You give her an assuring smile, “He’ll love it.”

Since their little colouring-in session, your daughter had decided that Sean was her favourite member of the Wallace household and had made it a mission to try and spend every possible moment with him - even when he was busy. There was one afternoon where you couldn’t find her anywhere, only for Marian to tell you she was in Sean’s office. You’d sworn under your breath when she’d told you that, knowing how relentless Violet could be if she wanted someone’s attention, and having to deal with an irritated Sean was the last thing you wanted on your plate. However, when you appeared at the open doorway, you found Violet contentedly sitting on the sofa reading one of her picture books while Sean was at his desk tapping away at his laptop. Neither of them paid any mind to you, so you’d backed away slowly and left them to it, your heart warm.

Things had been less tense between you and Sean ever since your conversation about Violet. The resentment and cold shoulder you had anticipated from him afterwards never came and, much to your surprise, you instead got a Sean that was amicable and - dare you say - almost caring. He’d become more open to updating you on the progress he was making with tracking down the culprits and in turn, you were more than willing to answer all his questions about Violet. He would often ask you things nonchalantly and in passing and you knew it was his way of trying to catch up on what he’d missed without coming across as being overly invested. You understood his approach, considering there was still so much you hadn’t spoken about regarding this new dynamic between you, him, and Violet, but you quietly adored the fact that he cared to know more about her and glad that he hadn’t shut you out the way you thought he might.

~

A couple of days later, when you peer out of the guest bedroom window, you’re just in time to see a glimpse of Sean walking up the path to the front door. Marian had told you he would be back today but she didn’t say whether or not he had been successful in dealing with the culprits.

“Shall we go down and get breakfast?” You ask your daughter, turning from the window to face her.

She nods sleepily and you chuckle, picking her up in your arms before heading downstairs.

“Hey, Vi,” You murmur to the child languidly resting her head on your collarbone. “Guess what?”

She perks up a bit, looking at you curiously. “What?”

You reach the bottom landing of the stairs and nod your head towards the front door. And then you almost regret doing it.

“Sean!” Violet squeals the moment she turns and spots him.

“Ow, Violet,” You complain as she squirms in your arms in an attempt to reach him, roughly elbowing you in the process. “Ease up.”

“I can take her,” Sean chuckles, seeing as Violet was nearly half out of your hold anyway.

You nod and hand her over, your heart fluttering slightly as he takes her in his arms, feeling like this was a glimpse into what life would've been like for the three of you if you had never left Sean.

“Hello Violet,” He says to her, a finger lightly tickling her side and making her giggle.

"Hi Sean,” She replies, looking up at him as she rests her head on his shoulder (and you think jesus christ your heart could burst at the sight). “Where have you been?"

“I had to take a trip,” He explains, craning his neck a little to meet her gaze.

“Why?”

“I needed to talk to some people.”

“About what?”

“Vi,” You cut in, saving Sean from having to come up with a kid-friendly explanation of what he’d been up to. “Let’s have breakfast, yeah? Sean just got home.”

Violet pouts at you for interrupting before turning her attention back to the man in question. “Will you have breakfast with us, Sean?”

You look on in amusement, knowing not even he would be able to resist her pleading eyes.

“Of course,” He tells her with a smile. “I’m starving.”

~

“How did it go?” You ask Sean after Violet had run upstairs to get the drawing she had made for him.

You seemed to be doing this a lot, you realise, fitting in as much serious conversation as the two of you could in the rare times Violet wasn’t around. Maybe it was an instinctual parent thing. Or maybe Sean’s lifestyle just called for it. You didn’t really know.

“Good,” He replies, stirring a cup of tea. “Everything’s been taken care of.”

You raise an eyebrow, “Taken care of?”

He hums, “They won’t bother you again.”

You stare at him blankly as you process what he’d just said. Even though you knew the amount of effort Sean had put into essentially hunting them down, you didn’t realise it would all be done and dusted quite this quickly. A part of you had mentally prepared yourself to have to live with this looming threat for a while - imagined that you’d probably have to get Sean to beef up the security when you finally found a new place to live, thinking it was going to be that much of a long-term problem. But here he was telling you it was all over.

“How… how did you manage to find them so fast?”

“It wasn’t hard once we got people to talk,” He explains, sliding the freshly made tea over to you.

You mumble your thanks as you take it in your hands, the heat of the ceramic bringing you back to reality somewhat.

“And you’re sure they won’t… retaliate?”

“Positive.”

You eye him curiously, watching as he goes to make his own cup of tea, and you clock, for the first time, the small gash above his brow.

“What did you do?”

The question leaves your mouth before you could even think about whether or not you actually wanted to know the answer to it and the corner of Sean’s lip lifts slightly in response.

"I know you’ve changed your mind about a lot of the things I do but it’s probably still best if I don’t tell you that part of it.”

“You don't think I can’t handle it?"

There’s no attitude behind the way you asked the question, just honest curiosity.

Sean shakes his head, “There's just no benefit to knowing.”

“Right,” You nod, agreeing, but then you can’t help yourself and you look up at him sheepishly. “But I’m curious, though.”

“Well, you’re going to have to stay curious,” He tells you, his lip lifting again in amusement.

You make a face at his evasive snark and he chuckles a little, continuing to go about making breakfast and ignoring the way your eyes are following him.

“What happened there?” You ask, gesturing to his forehead. 

Sean lets out an amused exhale and leans back against the sink, “Vi definitely gets her inquisitiveness from you.”

“And she definitely got her stubbornness from you,” You fire back, picking up on the way he had dodged your question again.

He smiles at that and so do you, delighting a little in your childish back and forth. You couldn’t help but offhandedly think that, without Violet in the room, it almost felt like old times. In the same vein of thought, you realise that there are about a million things that need to be addressed between you and Sean, the most pressing of which was what your lives were going to look like going forward, especially now that this problem had been dealt with. Things weren’t going to go back to how they were before, that much was for sure. Neither of you get to say anything more, though, because Violet’s back with the drawing, eyes alight and eager to show it to him.

[mydarlingfelix]

Get to know me tag(s)!

Tagged by: @hyunjinh  @felox-the-great @jaeffreyy @squishywoojin @welcometochanskitchen @dabkingfelix @mosquitofelix

Hi! I’m Summer btw (Ik it’s not in my bio), but I just go by Sum or other nicknames lol *I also just put multiple “get to know me” tags in 1 lol THIS IS A SUPER LONG POST IM SORRY However thank you for tagging me!! I Love you all soOoOo much!

Bold Thingy Tag

1ST RULE: tag 9 people you want to get to know better

I think everyone done this already fkjdjgb

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo -I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair (idk it’s growing) - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing maths in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month (Lucy wanted to be drawn for her bday and I did a watercolor portrait thing ig? for her) - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority- I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol- I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event- I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling (I have like 5)- I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity (?) - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship (not a healthy one at least)- I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily (It’s disgusting, wtf is wrong with me. I don’t need feels) - I have had a crush for over a year (Umm kinda he’s just really really cute. I talked to Dain about this before) - I have been in a relationship for over a year (but not currently) - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages - I have made a new friend in the past year

Alphabet Soup Tag

A: Age - “I’m 19, you fight me?” B: Birthplace - Cali C: Current time - As I’m during this 1:26pm D: Drink you had last - Water, but also Thai Tea Boba E: Easiest person to talk to - F: Favorite song - None G: Grossest memory - My cousin’s and I were doing a auntie and niece day and went theMall and I saw this girl throw up on the second floor in Forever 21. I felt sorry for the workers...  H: Hogwarts house - G I: in love? - nah, never gonna happen J: Jealous of people? - It’s only a human aspect, you’re only truly horrible if you do something nasty to others because of that feeling K: Killed someone? - Not yet lmfao L: Love at first sight or should I walk by again? - No thank you M: Middle name - Summer N: Number of siblings - 5 O: One wish - None P: Person you called last - My mom Q: Question you are always asked - Idk tbvh R: Reason to smile - Idk things make me happy S: Song you sang last - The Unit No way (I dont remember the unit colors)  T: Time you woke up - 6:43am  U: Underwear color - White  V: Vacation destination - South Korea, Japan, & idk the other one, but honestly my goal is to visit all my mutuals before I died lmfaooo W: Worst habit - Not caring, sleeping in, getting distracted easily, being anixious all the time.  X: X-rays - Teeth Y: Your favorite food - I have a lot... Z: Zodiac sign - Gemini

🥛 Colour(s) I’m currently wearing: Black... Just a lot of black (I need to stop wearing sm black omg)  🍥 Last band t-shirt I bought: I don’t ever buy clothes for myself, idk when was last time? Maybe during the Got7 concert?  🥛 Last band I saw live: Got7 (Fly In LA: Day 1) and Paradise (A Hmong Band)  🍥 Last song I listened to: Rn I’m listening to The Unit’s Cherry on Top  🥛 Lipstick or chapstick: Idk... I wear lip tints.  🍥 Last movie I watched: Ever Wonder? (idk it’s a true story about the creation of wonder women)  🥛 Last 3 TV shows I watched: Wanna One Go, Wanna One x Aimgo TV, and The Unit 🍥 Last 3 characters I identified with: Kora, Steven Universe, & Ken Kaneki (idk for this part, I never thought about this fkdfdkgd)  🥛 Book I’m currently reading: Books for my classes njfdkjd 

What’s my name? (Imma just put my initials) 

M. S. L.

What’s my nickname?

Sum, SumSum, SumShine, Summahh Girl, Tsumdere, Chee, 

How old am I?

“I’m 19, you fight me?”

What got me into Kpop?

SJ- Sorry Sorry, but Got7 made me offically stay and learning everything about the kpop fandom

What’s my favourite Kpop group?

Rn W1 (the most)

Who’s my ultimate bias?

Park Jihoon

What groups/artists do I stan?

Too many to count, you all can ask my personally if you want lol

What groups/artists do I casually listen to?

A lot, I try to be diverse, but what’s good music is good music to me. Feel free to suggest me some :D

What artists do I listen to that aren’t Kpop?

Ahh I’m lazy, but just good sounding music. Calvin Harris just popped up in my head. fknfkjskfnj 

Who’s my bias and bias wrecker from my ultimate group(s)?

Omfg

Wanna One: Park Jihoon & Kang Daniel

JBJ: Kim Donghan & ??? (They’re all messing me up rn)

SK: Felix & I think Hyunjin? Idk

What’s your favourite song(s) to sing/hum?

It’s recently been Chungha’s roller coaster lol and The Unit songs  

What are your favourite flower/tree/plant (all 3 or whatever you have an answer to)?

I really love plants and flowers in general, however Peonies are one of my many faves!! 

Favourite colour(s)?

Pink, blue, purple, black, white, and gray

What do you always doodle (if you ever do)?

Umm yeah I always doodling, but I try not to because I want to be able to focus in class haha. 

How do you take your coffee/tea? If you don’t like those what’s your fav warm drink?

It probably like 20% coffee and 80% french vanilla cream nfksjfgsbjg sometimes I add a lil milk too 

Favourite candle scent?

Anything flowery, but i really like sweet pea smell lol. I don’t any candles yet, so I don’t quite know which I like more yet. Soorrryy

Sunrise or Sunset?

Sunset! The colors are soo pretty and like it doesn’t require me to wake up from my sleep lmfao. The transitions of day and night it just so beautiful! and the stars that start peeking through the dark sky! 

What perfume do you wear if any?

I don’t wear perfume? I have them at home but in my opinion I feel like if you’ve showered and smell nice why try to mix more scents onto you?? and I don’t really need it? DONT WORRY I AM CLEAN NFJSNJF idk if I make any sense

What’s your go to dance move when you’re alone?

-

Favourite quote?

“The moon is friend for the lonesome to talk to.” ― Carl Sandburg 

&  “We ran as if to meet the moon.” ― Robert Frost  

& also 

“The moon and stars just for you my love” - Me lol 

Favourite self care thing(s) or routine(s)?

Umm... Drawing. Showering and putting a face mask afterwards. Painting my nails. It’s more like small things, especially like painting my nails and drawings are things I can’t do often because I try to focus on school, because ik I’m bad at focusing. Sleeping and reminding to just eat, when I get too busy and focused I tend to skip meals. njfkdsnfj s

Fuzzy socks or House slippers?

OMFG BOTH THAT’S LIKE THE BEST COMBO! I have these pinky and purple house slippers I got aND IT’S FUZZY KSFJ SK IT’S SOOO CUTE OMG!! I love. nfjdnfd 

What colour are your eyes? 

Dark Brown

What’s your favourite eye colour on others?

Hazel, black, and gray

Favourite season? why?

Autumn and Winter (Ik contradicts with my name) but I love the rain! and cloudy weather! The sound of rain is calming and being inside while hearing the rain is nice. I really love Spring too when the flowers begin to bloom and like it’s a fresh type of feeling when spring hits lol.

Cheek, neck or nose kisses?

SJFNKFS Honestly depends on my mood  (´•/// ω \\\•`) but I like cheek kisses because softtt

What does your happy place look like?

My room on a rainy day with my fairy lights flickering

Favourite breed of dog?

YO OKAY SO I SAW THIS FB POST ABOUT THIS DOG BEAR AND I WANT A DOG BEAR IDK WHAT THEY’RE CALLED JKFDFHKSF. My dad is a dog breeder as a side business, so I grew up with pitbulls, pocket pits, american bull dogs, frenches, and now ‘exotics’ are the trend atm. 

Do you ever want to be married? If so what colours would you pick for your wedding theme?

Umm yes and no? I’m not sure. If I have an American wedding I like to stick to a traditional white with maybe a peach and light pink here and there, but for sure I would love to do a traditional Hmong wedding. 

Silk or Lace?

Silk feels nice, but I like lace too :)

Favorite weather?

SF type of weather 

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

6/11/17, 1:41am - post vacation

It’s been two weeks since I last wrote. Goddamn it feels like months.

The day after saturday.... So Sunday my family shows up at my place, mom immediately starts going through my shit until I start yelling and smacking her on the back of the head. Definitely not a good note to start off on.

The trip was pretty fucking great. Idk if they’re highlights but I just wanna ramble off a bunch of memories. Ate at Cracker Barrel on the way down because Trusten always felt left out when me and Tessa would go eat there with my dad. Little did he know that was my least favorite place he would take us, but it was a nice dinner nonetheless lmao.  The subject of my vasectomy became a huge topic all trip, partially because I had to bring up trying to keep my shit from getting infected whenever we would go swimming. Immediately jumped into the beach though it was fantastic. The water was beautifully clear and so warm, like taking a bath. Got to know my cousins a lot better. Christina is great, but also made me happy I’m not about to have a kid at my age. Got to see my aunts and stuff too, I can’t rag on her too hard because one has cancer, but they were talking about some pseudo-spiritualism-science for a long time and I just had to smile and keep my mouth shut for a while. “I’ve read it takes 48 days for the spirit of the deceased to reach the heavens. And it takes 48 days for a developing baby to be imbued with the spirit. Coincidence??” yeah idk lmfao. Great dance party with the fam though lol. Tessa’s looking unhealthily skinny but tremendously happy. I’m glad she’s back and done with her crazy dieting. Puts me to shame, tbh. Kinda makes me want to go a little harder and finish trimming off my fat but I’ve got more healthy plans I’m gonna start working on I think. Saw danni and her new gf, she cut my hair and gave me a new dye job. Was frustrated that I had to have so much cut off because I wanted to keep growing it out, but it Does look pretty fucking great and I have faith in her regardless lol. Smoked with her and grandpa and mom and talked about a whole bunch of shit. Tried to explain about how I treasure my personal time way more than investing my time into growing my wealth, had to try and do it without giving him shit for spending all his time trying to make money and not having any of it left to himself after the divorce. Also asked if he was gay and he said nah so that puts that to bed lmaooo. we went out to the Keys and that was kind of a disaster. I always kinda romanticized the thought of them when I was a kid, remembering like bright white sandy beaches and beautiful water, but there’s actually not much of that at all down there. The beach we went to smelt like rot. It was beautiful but covered in seagrass and very shallow, me and tessa and tav and trusten had a nice time of swimming against the current together joking about shit. Made a nice dinner of fried salmon and asparagus for my little brothers. Felt nice to cook again, should probably do more of that. Things boiled over with my mom when she kept fucking with the other food I picked out for us. Wasted a whole pack of bacon out of spite and so I flipped shit and decided I was done with them. Spent a day playing video games and tanning and laying around, was probably best to heal up my nuts anyway lol. We left the keys a day early because of it, but not before we got to watch this tenacious D video that they had. No wifi lol. Lessee. Came back up, saw gabbi and I think I like her new bf. They seem pretty good together, but I tried to warn them to not nitipick each other to death now that they’re moving in together. Good luck lmfao. Drank 9 beers and a cider with my uncle DJ and cousin Dom and his girlfriend was cute too, I shared wayyy too much about my life, told half my family about how I had my friends photograph me fucking at the old well, but ate some delicious fucking italian cooking and had a wonderful night. Smoked with DJ and mom and listened to their old stories of growing up as kids and getting into trouble for smoking and stuff. Oh and right before the keys I started binge watching Doctor Who. Since Katy went and watched every single episode of rick and morty in one night I asked her what her favorite show was that I could do. Doctor Who is a Little more involved, but I’ve gotta say it’s fucking incredible. Fell in love with it within minutes, had me giggling like an idiot all week. I’d stay up til like 7am watching episodes, get a few hours of sleep and then try to do whatever everyone else was though by the end of the trip it wasn’t much. The drive home wasn’t very eventful, me and mom split it, and it ended at a nice pit stop at dar and pa’s for some pancakes and a nap before I had to head home. Was trying to do a melee tournament and see katy and found out I needed to get my tire fixed, but then costco was going to take too long and so would melee so I just got back to greensboro and had a nice night of watching adventure time and a little sex and cuddles. Pretty fucking solid vacation despite the fighting with the fam, not gonna lie. Plus this is like the first time I look really not-fat in beach pictures, it’s kinda incredible.

So Katy... I spent a lot of time talking to Katy. We’ve at least snapchatted every day for the past month now, but haven’t had another drunk convo like when I was at the lake. After seeing her when I got back on monday I also spent the night with her again weds, and we’ve been bingewatching Adventure Time from the beginning and I took her out to eat at Smith Street Diner, it’s all been fantastic. But she couldn’t see me tuesday because she had another guy friend over (and another on thursday, but I was at work anyway lol). So I get kinda jealous that she has this beautiful ass kid and all these other guys wanting to fuck her, mostly because I don’t have other people or a very decent schedule to hook up right now, orr even get to go out drinking with her. Feelsbadman. It also feels like it’d be too much work/money to try to get a side chick anyway, and plus, melee is my real side hoe let’s not kid ourselves.. [speaking of which, the day I couldn’t see her I kicked ass at melee and won a little money, so that was pretty fucking great.] She’s amazing to spend time with and she gave me a toothbrush to keep in her bathroom and I love cuddling up with her beautiful body, but tbh she’s pretty standoffish whenever I try to get too intimate in person (mostly trying to kiss her too much), and when she refuses to send me a message back because she’s with somebody else I can’t help but shake this feeling like I’m not good enough for her... Feelings are stupid. I worry about going too hard too fast with her, but every time I’ve gone too far off the deep end she’s been able to laugh it off, which I think is incredible. Definitely should have scared her off with the shit I was saying about trying to make her fall in love with me (and not vice versa, for the record, because I still don’t have any feelings <:^D ) when I was 10 drinks deep, but somehow she even laughed that off. Plus she’s fantastically nerdy and exposed me to doctor who and this show is like my favorite shit right now lmao. I’ve just wrapped up the fourth season, which is about 37 hours of watching within the past two weeks.. It’s so fucking goooood, man. She told me all I had to do was catch up to her at the 12th doctor but I wanna go back and watch all the old stuff after that, too. so like 56/835 episodes done so far so good lmaoo. Anyway. Idk I just hope I get to spend a lot more time with her doing cool shit. I don’t know what I am to her, so I have no idea if this is gonna go anywhere, but it really doesn’t matter all that much to me anyway. I just enjoy hanging out with her, and she got me to quit smoking cigarettes completely, and now I’m watching this wonderful show instead of wasting my fucking life bored on twitch streams, and I’m even actually starting to get motivated to start exercising again. And the sex is greattttt lmaooo. So I want to spend as much time with her as possible. It’s pretty gay, not gonna lie, but that’s where I’m at right now. Idk why I’ve always needed some cute girlie to help motivate me to get my shit done, though. Personal flaws...

OH HOLY FUCK so this week was the most productive week ever though, because not only did I manage to get laid and place 3rd in melee this week, I also FINALLY got to take the exam for my RPSGT!! The day I was originally scheduled for was a shit show, I drove 2 hours out to fayetteville and found out they had fucked up my registration and I didn’t get to take it that day after waiting for hours to see if they could fix it, but luckily I was able to get rescheduled for the day after, so I left Katy’s place to go to Durham and took it at 8am thursday. I was fucking sweating a little, not gonna lie. They were asking me all sorts of questions about pediatric sleep medicine that I wasn’t quite prepared for, and some of the scoring questions were confusing to me, but I managed to pass! So now I finalllllllllly have made it to become a real sleep tech. Gonna get that fat raise and finally get to a point where I can stop worrying about money, it’s fucking phenomenal.

So I’m so fucking ready to get off work... Gonna go back to raleigh today and see fonzi and frankie and maybe johnny so that’s gonna be sick. There’s this new melee mod that came out so I’m thinking about getting a soldering iron and fucking with my controller, maybe I’ll actually be good at this game lol. Dunno when I’m hanging with katy next hopefully every day lmfaooo. I guess I’ll update when I update.