#made it so compelling. they completely miss the mark the second they start making hunters the idolized heroes of the series

[420technoblazeit]

so fucking stupid that they made join the hunt the tagline for late show supernatural btw. hunting being a metaphor for the military is pretty explicit, it's not even close to subtle. dean's constantly referred to as a soldier by other characters, a lot of young hunters we see talk about how they only got into the life because of their family, most of them at least in the early seasons are strongly prejudiced towards monsters and have a very us against them mentality, the main thing that cas and dean initially bond over is the fact that theyve been taught to view their sense of self worth in the context of their capacity for violence and following orders. a LOT of the characterization of hunters in the first couple of seasons centers around their desensitization of violence towards non-human beings and prejudice against them actually. i mean for god's sake sam and dean call their own father 'sir'

so much of dean's narrative is about how being groomed to be a hunter has ruined his life and sense of self-worth and made him feel really dehumanized. the show is pretty up front about it being the root of his problems with toxic masculinity, anger issues, and inability to be emotionally vulnerable. he is the POSTER CHILD for why no one should ever get into hunting so how the fuck did the late show writers miss the key themes so badly. this is the anti-war show idiots maybe think for a second before you make that your tagline

[lord-explosion-baku]

Tempting Tempest (Shark!Bakugou)

Shark!Bakugou x mer!reader

warnings: yellow sour fruit, dubcon, blood, violence, strange as fuck words I’d only use while writing monster smut idfk, silly ending

A/N: I know I said I wasn’t gonna force this one out, but sometimes you gotta. This was kinda fun to write, but idk how sexy it is to be QUITE honest. The next time I write mermaid p*rn outside of tempting tempest, it’s definitely gotta be with at least one human, ama. also the ending is a little wacky, pero it made me smile so like maybe it’ll make you smile too. ha...? okiee here’s the thing...vhjdsvhjd

Violent fury compelled you to tighten your hold on your weapon. Like a spear, you flew through the water, firing towards the shark. Too bad for you, he had fast reflexes and as soon as you were close enough, he whipped his tail around and slapped you in the face.

Colliding with the sand bed and a large kelp-covered rock, you struggled to right yourself, when the merman gripped onto your waist. He pulled himself up so his head was leveled with yours. He bared his teeth at you and snapped at your neck. You hissed and swiped your knife at him, missing his chest and cutting into his side. He growled when blue blood spilled out into the water, swirling around the two of you as you wrestled for dominance.

The merman slammed your wrist into the edge of the rock next to you, forcing you to relinquish your dagger. Sharp fingers curled around your neck, quickly stopping your waterways. You dug your nails into his toned arms so fiercely that even more blood flooded around you. Despite the obvious pain you inflicted on him, the merman gave you a sharp, threatening sneer.

“Looks like you do have more fight in you after all.” He teased, tightening his hold. He licked his lips and brought his free hand to your mouth. “Should say I’m grateful that you’re not gonna make this boring.”

Figuring that it was no use clawing at your opponent, you threw your hands down on the sand bed, searching for your lost weapon. Thinking that you were going to throw sand in his face again, the shark let go of your neck and grabbed your wrist, quickly pinning it to your side.

“Not gonna let that happen again, little guppy,” he grumbled. The hand at your mouth squeezed your cheeks together as his hungry, crimson glower bore down on you. “You’re gonna have to learn some new tricks fast.”

You bit down on his narrowed webspace between his pointer finger and thumb, making him jolt back. That offered you enough slack to quickly wiggle out from underneath him, but not enough time to swim away.

Rounding you, the shark took hold of the flimsy part of your tail, sending an excited shock up to your neck. You whined and flipped your tail at him, attempting to hit his face, but he only laughed as he dodged the attack.

“That was cute.” He mocked as he approached you again, ushering you against the giant rock. “That little cry, I mean...think you can do it again for me? Huh, guppy?”

You hissed at him, the fins on the side of your head flaring in an attempt to make you look more threatening. He pushed you back against the wall, your skin grating against the rugged edge of the flat. You winced while he growled, deep and low, baring his sharp, ivory teeth. You couldn’t help but flinch, your fins falling back with a huff. At this, he chuckled, closing the gap between the two of you, his shark’s tail triumphantly swishing from left to right.

“Not so tough now, are yah?” Your body trembled as he grazed his lips against your neck, slowly bringing them up to your ear. “All bark and no bite.”

The purring came back—that deep, mesmerizing rumble from his chest. You hated how easily it got to you—how it made your muscles relax and your mind fuzzy. You scowled at his chest, too afraid that if you looked him in those beautiful, ruby eyes, you’d be lost to him again

The shark put both of his arms against the rock, caging you in with him as your prison bars. “Whatsamatter?” He asked. “You some kinda mute or are you just being a bitch?”

“Oh, bite me!”

“Is that a command or a request?” He gave you his insolent shark-grin as he leaned closer. “‘Cause I will,” he said in a teasing tone, but you knew it was a promise. The heat of his tongue reached the sensitive part of your ear, licking it for just as long as it took for goosebumps to erupt across your arms. He purred, “even if you don’t ask nicely.”

“I’m not asking you for anything except for you to leave me alone!” You barked out, albeit weakly. His chest rumbles were echoing inside your head, lulling you into a trancelike state you didn’t want to fall into.

“Since when?” He inquired impudently. His hands fell down near your hips.

You gestured pointedly behind him, indicating the updraft of sand and blood whirling in the space the two of you previously occupied. He glanced back only for a moment, not willing to take his eyes off of you for a second too long. He smirked, finally closing his hands on the part of your body where your torso met your fluke. They were rough, calloused from experience—hunter’s hands. You fought off impending thoughts of having those hands graze every inch of your body.

“Thought that was just foreplay.” His whisper was husky with provocation as his thumbs circled your hip bones. He took the hand you were using to point at the aftermath of your fight with into his. “It’d be no fun without any chase.” He lightly bit down on the carpal side of your palm, his dangerous eyes daring you to react. You merely shuddered against him, an act he seemed to enjoy.

“Foreplay?!” You squawked, bemused. You tore your hand away from his lips and quickly dug your fingers into his side, right below the place you’d cut him. It was healing fast, but some sapphire oozed out, nonetheless. “I cut you!”

He laughed, making his abdomen tighten underneath your touch. You inhaled sharply, and pressed your palm into him, enjoying the feel of his tight stomach. Gods damn you, he was hot.

“What’s one more scar?” He took your hand and moved it up his chest, satisfied to know you liked the feel of him. His skin riveted underneath your fingertips as he drew you over his various markings from previous fights. “I’m sure there’ll be plenty more where that came from—at least, if you’re the kinda mate I think you’ll be.”

“I don’t even know you,” you said, though that was a weak riposte. It wasn’t like you were around long enough for any merman to bring you pearl bracelets and hidden treasures just to have you fall into their embrace. Though, if you had, you wouldn’t be dealing with a shark right now.

“Katsuki,” he said smugly. “Figure you should know the name you’re gonna be moaning for the rest of your life.”

“As if.”

“And you are?” Katsuki completely ignored your retort. “Honestly didn’t think that ‘Guppy’ was all that fitting for a cute, little mermaid like you, but if that’s what you prefer-“

You scowled, ignoring the way your heart stuttered when he called you cute. His lips tilted sideways.

“Nah, you’re too high and mighty for guppy, aren’t you?” He continued, wedging himself closer to you. You felt cool gusts of water blowing against your shoulder and down your back as he drew nearer, his low purring reverberating down your tail. His lips were against your neck as he suggested, “right, princess?” You shuddered against him again as he kissed the sensitive spot on the skin below your gills. “Oh you like that, huh-“ his voice dropped an octave-“princess.”

Despite yourself, you groaned, turning your head so he could angle himself better, suckling on your tender flesh. You slanted your hips into him, hands moving up his strong, muscular back, to his neck, weaving through the surprisingly soft, ash-blonde hair. You tugged, and his growls mixed in with the rumbling only grew louder as he continued to kiss you.

Something thick and heavy pressed against your belly and through foggy eyes, you saw two massive erections, each with jelly-like fluid seeping out from the tips. Your mouth fell open on a moan as you imagined either of the two—if not both—entering you, all previous resignation sinking into the sand beneath you.

Your free hand trickled down his abdomen, loving the way he twitched at your soft caresses. You touched the tip of one of his dicks, and he grunted, a bit of white spurting into your palm. Enjoying his reaction, you rubbed your hand up and down his shaft, squeezing his base as he wrapped an arm around your back.

“Fuck.” He rasped, rutting into your hand. “Touch my cock like that and I’m not gonna be able to control myself.”

“You’re controlling yourself?” You mocked uneasily, tail slapping against the rock.

His nostrils flared. “More than you know.” The hand behind you moved down to your backside. He drew circular motions in the thickest part of your tail behind you, squeezing your flesh, making your fluke shake with anticipation.

“Tell me to fuckin’ stop,” he murmured noncommittally, pressing his cocks harder against your tail. With both hands now on your tail, he moved one over to the puffed out slit below the middle of your hips. He dipped a finger into you, testing out the undoubtedly viscous truth of your velvety walls. He moaned, loving the feel of you, loving the way you whimpered as he touched you. You watched as his pupils grew large, dark, and predatory, as he added a second finger to curl in and out of you. “Tell me you don’t want me to wreck your sweet little pussy right fuckin’ now, or I’m not gonna stop. Once I’m inside you, baby, there’ll be no turnin’ back—even if you beg me.” Something low and animalistic echoed out of his throat at the thought. “Though hearing you fuckin’ beg doesn’t sound half bad right now.”

“Katsuki-!” You started to mewl, but were cut off by his lips descended onto yours. It was a desperate kiss with strong, erratic tongue. He tasted you like you were meant for him—frantic, like he couldn’t get enough of you. Not knowing much about what to do with yourself, you squirmed against him, but he hardly seemed to care. If anything, your resistance only spurred him on.

Grasping onto your wrists, he pinned them against the rock behind you, using one hand to lock them into place. His now unoccupied hand cupped your face as he deepened the kiss. He traced his touch down to your neck, your collarbone, and found ménage at your breasts. He tweaked your pert nipples until they were hard and dark from arousal.

You felt him smirk against you when you finally touched your tongue to kiss—the first of the many triumphs he was going to hold over you. He swallowed your downing moans with fervor, biting down on your lower lip when you attempted to resist again. You cooed.

“Goddamn, you’re fuckin’ gorgeous, you know that?” Katsuki’s hands slid down your torso, lingering around your navel when you let out a little squeak. He chuckled. “So ready to be mated, too. You liked being chased around, didn’t you?”

“I-“ you breathed, your heart racing with both excitement and dread-“I don’t know!”

“So coy all of a sudden.” He snickered, grasping onto one of his clasper-pricks. He gave it a couple pumps, letting tendrils of the thick, white seed flutter around in the water. He pushed his member against your slit, letting your own slick membrane cover his thick cockhead, readying him to take you. “That’s okay,” he muttered, “looks like your cunt already knows for you.” He exhaled. “Say my name again—like you did the first time.”

“Kat...suki…?”

“Good girl,” he purred, pressing his cockhead into you, biting back a groan as he did so. Gods, it was unbearably huge. You shot him a panicked look, but that only made him all the more hungry.

“Wait-!” You wiggled, unprepared for the stretching you felt as he pushed into your tight hole. You cried out as he thickened, even while constricted by your walls, not even at his hilt yet. “Wait, please, I can’t—!”

“What’d I tell you, princess?” His voice grated against your soft cheeks, warmed from fluster. “Said there’d be no turnin’ back, didn’t I?” Even still, he pulled back, easing into you slower the second time, pressing in, inch by withering inch.

“God damn, you feel so good wrapped around my cock, hon,” he grumbled thickly, mesmerized. He pulled back once more, and when he pushed in again, he grooved his hips up, pushing even more of his girth deeper inside of you.

“Fuck!” You cried out, attempting to twist away from him. “It’s too much!! I can’t take it!”

“Relax,” he crooned gruffly, petting the erect bud above your slit. His touch sent waves of unfamiliar pleasure rippling through your body despite the terrible corruption battling inside you. You tightened around him and he groaned.

“My gods, baby. The hell are you doin’ to my cock?” Katsuki nestled into your neck, licking at your gills. “Such a good girl—so fuckin’ tight for me, huh? You’re gonna take me so well, I know it.”

Your body wavered—almost complying. Katsuki began rolling into you at a charitable pace, caressing your body, thumb encircling your clit, stimulating you just enough to keep your mind away from the pain. However, when he lessened his hold on your wrists, one of your hands broke free. You pushed against him, writhing and feral.

That was when he bit you.

Scorching affliction shot through your shoulders, down your spine. Your tail spasmed against his, your soft scales scraping against his fine exterior. You wailed and dug your nails into the thick muscles of his back, but that did nothing to tear Katsuki away from you. His grip on you was vice, impervious to any sort of protest. In fact, the more you tried to get away, the closer he pulled you, rutting into you faster, your bodies spinning through the ocean as he locked you into matehood.

Just as you thought you couldn’t take any more of the tremendous cutting feeling his shark’s teeth had your neck, the burn mitigated. He wasn’t holding back—if anything he was digging deeper into you—but as his mark melded into your skin, your body relaxed and you began to enjoy the pain. The feeling was purely hypnotic.

Katsuki began to push more of himself inside of you, and you easily accepted him. Your tail twisted around his as his hips slapped against yours. You arched your back, feeling your walls fluttering around, and you sighed his name on a moan. His arms curled around your waist, squeezing your sides, loving the feeling of your bodies, hot and needy, pressed together.  

“Mmmmfuck.” Katsuki pulled away just in time to see your crimson sanguine swaying out and away from his toothy grin. His pupils were so dark and wide that you could hardly see any of the red left in his iris. He was loving this.

“That’s it, baby.” He praised you, licking your cheek. He reached around his back to move your arms so they were around your neck. He groaned when he buried his girth to his hilt, making sure that you and him were as close possibly. “You’re all mine now, aren't cha? Mine-“He speared himself into you with each clipped word. “All. Fuckin’. Mine.”

“Fuck...yes, Katsuki,” you moaned, feeling a tight, aching coil inside of you as his large palms roved over your body. He squeezed your curves, kissed your chest, all the while sweltering inside of you.

“I knew I fuckin’ wanted you the moment I saw you hidin’ away from all those loser fishdicks bringing those mersluts trash just to get some tail,” he panted. “Thought you were sneaky, huh? Thought you wouldn’t be noticed?”

Katsuki pulled your hair, forcing you to face him head on. “Nah, couldn’t let a cutie like you slip away. Couldn’t let any other bottom feeder try to take you, neither. Fuck, you’re gonna be my perfect mate.”

Your inner walls quaked as he ran circles around your clit. “W-what is…?” You began to ask on a hard thrust that hit you perfectly. Your coil bursted and you convulsed around him, squealing as he rutted into you harder and faster. You clenched, again and again, as you pooled over and out with each of his world-ending thrusts, ecstasy completely enveloping your entire being.

“Oh, that feels fuckin’ great, princess,” he growled into your hair. “Good girl, cummin’ for me so soon like that. Fuck,” he rasped, “bite my neck before I fill you up, baby.” He leaned back a drew a finger ong his gills, indicating exactly where he wanted you. “Be my girl.”

You leaned up to drive your tongue up his neck. He shuddered at the contact, still fucking you relentlessly, dragging against your thickened walls. You bit down, hard enough to draw blood, to leave your mark, while you wove your fingers through his soft locks.

“I’m gonna fill you up with my cum. Is that what you want, princess? You wanna feel all of me?”

“Yes, gods yes!” You cried, bucking into him, needing more.

“Say my fuckin’ name, angelface. I wanna hear that sweet voice of yours.” He grunted, biting harshly into your shoulder, tail swishing, hips stuttering.

“Katsuki, please, give me your cum. I wanna feel you baby. Please! Please!

Katsuki came with a roar, lining your walls with his thick, hot cream. He buried his cock inside of you, emptying himself completely, still managing a few more languid thrusts as he planted sloppy kisses to your lips. He groaned into your mouth, loving the taste of your more than compliant tongue.

“Gods, that was-,” he exhaled, lifting himself off of you. He took your hand and guided you up with him, pushing your head into his chest. “-that was god damn hot. You’re gonna be a lot of fun, huh?”

You watched as he shook his two dicks, mesmerized by the residual pink and white swirl of the both of yours’ wash, before his members folded back into his pouch. You parted your lips on a question that didn’t come.

Katsuki snickered. “What?”

“Were they both-“ you festered down below his stomach-“inside of me?”

“Tch!  If I had both of my cocks buried in you, I promise you’d know it.” He rolled his eyes before kissing your forehead, suddenly all too familiar with you. “Why? That wasn’t enough for you? I can go again if you aren’t already full to the brim.”

“Oh no!” You glanced down, unsure. “I mean...I don’t know, I was just curious…”

Katsuki chuckled, tilting your chin up to bring you into a kiss. “You wouldn’t be able to handle it, princess.”

“You don’t know that,” you barked back, suddenly all too familiar with him. “I can handle fucking anything you throw at me!”

“Filthyy language, baby. You kiss octopi with that mouth?”

“Are you kidding me?!” You choked. “Hypocrite!”

“Man, you really are gonna be a lot of fun, aren’tcha? So easy to tease.”

“I was just curious!” You threw your hands up into the water and spun around, casting out a sardonic, “you’re incredible.”

Katsuki wrapped his arms around your torso, bringing you back against his chest. “I know.” He kissed the back of your sore neck. “If you really think you can handle it, I sure as hell don’t mind findin’ out.” He brought both of his hands down to your stomach. “After we get you something to eat. You weren’t gonna catch that marlin all by yourself, anyway.”

“I was before you interrupted me,” you bit out, leaning into his touch.

“You think so?” You felt him grin against your skin. “Alright then, let’s find you a marlin and make a deal: if you can take it down all by yourself, I’ll fuck you so good, you won’t be able to swim straight—with both of my cocks.”

“The hell kinda deal is that-?!”

“And if you need my help-“ he continued-“you’re gonna hafta suck them both off.”

You snorted. “In which of these scenarios do I profit?”

“The one where you get a nice meal, a hot mate, and a nice kelp bed to lay in.” He shrugged.

“Kelp bed?” You turned your head at him, looking hopeful.

“You have such nice lips, I can’t wait to know how they feel wrapped around my cock.”

“Kelp bed?” You reiterated, shrugging him off, trying to figure out which direction that marlin swam off to. “Which scenario has a kelp bed in it?”

“Both of them, idiot. I’m not gonna let any mate of mine sleepin’ on some fuckin’ coral or whatever the hell you’ve been doin’ while tryna hide. Do we have a deal or not?”

“Dunno-“ you swam out farther, trying to be nonchalant about your new pursuit-“do you have said bed?”

“You’re really not sneaky,” he snarked, already swimming after you.

“Maybe not,” you laughed as soon as your eyes narrowed in on a giant fish, “but I am fast.”

(Try again...?)

No more tag list, sorry.

[stephkaylor]

FAVES and FAILS: The Vampire Diaries

So I have decided that since The Vampire Diaries has a spin off, The Originals, I am going to divide the characters based on where they appeared the most. So on this list I will be talking about the Salvatores, the Petrova/Gilbert line, the Bennets and Caroline, etc. but I will discuss the Mikaelsons, Hayley, etc. on their own list with the other characters that appeared on The Originals mostly. As always, spoilers are abound as I will discuss storylines and character arcs below, so be warned of that.  In any case, here’s my FAVES and FAILS for The Vampire Diaries. 

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER: Damon Salvatore

Could it be anyone else? I don’t think so. He’s a delightful little sociopathic shit and I love everything about him. He is 99% id and 1% ego, if that, and even when I hated him, I loved him (god, I sound like Elena…). In any case, love this man, five stars, would recommend, chef’s kiss. 

LEAST FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER: …I think Matt Donovan…?

Ugh, it’s hard to pick between Matt, Tyler, and Jeremy, but I think it has to be Matt. I never enjoyed his judgey attitude against everything supernatural, he seemed pretty whiney most of the time, and he was just genuinely uninteresting for the majority of the show.  Not into it. Pass.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER: Katherine Pierce (Katarina Petrova)

I thought about giving this post to Caroline by default, but if it comes down to it, Katherine nudges her way into the top spot. Katherine gave no fucks, knew what she wanted and was unapologetic about how she went about getting it, and an all around bad bitch. Was she primarily evil? Yes. But, to be honest, it never really bothered me. 

LEAST FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER: Bonnie Bennet

God, this woman was annoying. She was hypocritical, judgmental, and far too holier than thou for me to swallow her bullshit. She constantly played favorites with Caroline and Elena (I’m sorry, you hold Caroline becoming a vampire against her for like two seasons, but when Elena becomes one, it’s not her fault? Sure.). She hated all supernatural creatures because they “go against nature”, but it’s totally chill for you to perform sacrificial magic to get what you want, unleashing a terrible evil in the process (but it’s not her fault). How she nearly excommunicated Caroline just because she stayed with Stefan after Stefan killed Enzo, as if it was her fault in any way. How everyone treated her like she was a special little unicorn because she’s a Bennet Witch and she’s so magical, like, please, gag me. I could go on, but I honestly cannot be bothered. Hard pass. 

THE CHARACTER THAT DESERVED BETTER: Caroline Forbes

She was essentially shunned by all of her friends and family for becoming a vampire, even though she didn’t choose to become one at all. Also, she was basically used as collateral damage for the entire Salvatores and Gilberts versus The Mikaelsons debacle just because Klaus liked her. She was always the second choice no matter what the situation was (unless it’s her being impregnated with magical twins without her consent and then guilted into carrying the babies, but poor Alaric just lost his wife. I’m sorry, unless it’s your uterus, shut the fuck up). I’ll just be over here doing what exactly NO ONE on the show did, and pick Caroline first.

DEADWEIGHT CHARACTER WE SHOULD’VE DUMPED IN 2009: Tyler Lockwood

I couldn’t pick Matt twice, so Tyler, I guess. He was selfish, a terrible boyfriend to both Caroline and also Liv later, and if I have to hear that boy whine about his fucking sire bond one more time I will literally throw my laptop off of a bridge. 

UNDERHYPED CHARACTER: Lorenzo “Enzo” St. John

Honestly, he’s one of the one things that made the last few seasons of the show bearable.  His delightful British rogue was a lovely way to fill the void that the Mikaelsons left in my heart, his devil-may-care attitude was man-made-manifest of what I was always thinking while watching the show, his BFF relationship with Damon and later Caroline was a joy to watch, and he was way too good for Bonnie. 

OVERHYPED CHARACTER: Alaric Saltzman

He is marginally more bearable right now on Legacies, but he annoyed the shit out of me while he was on the first show. Does he hate vampires or is he best friends with them? Does he want to be a hunter or does he want to stay away from anything supernatural of any kind? Also, he (along with nearly everyone else) basically guilted Caroline into carrying his magical siphoner babies, which is a touch too icky for me…

SHIP YOU WOULD SELL YOUR SOUL FOR: Delena (Damon and Elena)

Could it be anyone else? I never shipped Stelena, as I found both Stefan annoying and Elena too woe-is-me while she was with him. She made Damon want to be a better person and he made her embrace who she really was, monster and all. They had a perfect balance between themselves, and it was a joy to watch. He got the girl, guys. 

SHIP YOU JUST WERE’N THAT INTO: Steroline (Stefan and Caroline)

They were just too…meh. I was entirely uninterested in them, whatsoever, and isn’t that even worse than a ship that you hate? I used their scenes for a bathroom break or to get a snack, as I was guaranteed to miss nothing interesting or important while they were on screen. 

CHARACTER YOU LOVE TO HATE/FAVORITE VILLAIN: Kai Parker

What does it say about me that all of my favorite characters are violent psychopaths…? I’m just going to leave that to be unpacked with the future therapists I’m bound to hire. Kai was the perfect evil. He was powerful, purposeful, and unapologetically demonic in the very best way. I could watch him terrorize my favorite characters forever and not get bored.  Perfection.

FAVORITE STORYLINE: Stefan and Damon’s Brotherhood

If you don’t think this is what the show was about at it’s core, you’re wrong. They loved each other, they hated each other, they died for each other, they killed for each other, and, ultimately, they let nothing and nobody come between them. If you asked me who Damon loved more, Elena or Stefan, I COULD NOT answer you, and isn’t that just the fucking point?!

STORYLINE WE COULD’VE DONE WITHOUT: Magical Babies

I know that a major reason this was even a storyline is because Candice Accola got pregnant, but still…how? Like…she is a vampire..? She is unable to biologically change…? Like can someone grab me a biology textbook and explain how this a thing that can happen BIOLOGICALLY, please? I get that they are mythical creatures, so science doesn’t mean much here, but it just doesn’t make sense in any universe. Also, as I said above, the fact that Caroline was impregnated without her consent and then largely guilted into carrying the babies is a touch too rape-y for me…

BIGGEST PLOTHOLE: Do they go to school, or…? 

Like, are they just compelling the teachers to not notice them not attending class like 90% off the time? Also, how do the people in Mystic Falls not know anything about the supernatural? Like, they aren’t subtle AT ALL so how do they keep sliding under the radar? Also, in a lesser way, how are hybrid witch/vampires a thing? Like, I thought if a witch dies (like they would have to if they become a vampire), they lose their magic…?Make it make sense, Julie!

MOST HEARTBREAKING MOMENT: Damon Dies (the first time)

Honestly one of the saddest moments in the entire series was Damon’s ghost watching Elena lose it when he doesn’t make it back from the Other Side. They were finally happy and together and they can only enjoy it for like five minutes before it goes to shit. Why, Julie??!

BIGGEST EYEROLL MOMENT: Magical Babies (again)

I try to not use something twice on this list but COME ON. This was ridiculous and I do not support this in any way.  (Also this twin bullshit is still fucking annoying on Legacies, if anyone was wondering).

MOST SHOCKING MOMENT (any spit-takes?): Elena forces Kathrine to take The Cure

This was one of the moments that I literally gasped aloud. Most of the time the foreshadowing on these shows is seen from miles away, but I honestly did not see this coming at all. Also, Kathrine was basically the LAST person who wanted that cure so it’s crazy that she was the one to end up taking it and turning human.

MOST BADASS MOMENT: Kathrine kisses Damon at the end of Season 1

Like I said before, she is the original BAD BITCH of the show (not an actual Original, but you know what I mean…) and this was an amazing entry for the character who would be, largely, the villain of the series. It played on the feelings that Damon is developing for Elena, it finally introduced the person who started it all for the Salvatores, and it showed us exactly who she is at her core, and that she isn’t sorry about it at all.

SERIES FINALE SATISFACTORY LEVEL (use no words, just gifs):

OVERALL MARKS OUT OF TEN (10 being this show has changed your life for the better, you happily rewatch the series over and over, and the show has made your life better in some way. 1 being this show gave you nothing but trust issues, a stomach ulcer, and high blood pressure, and you honestly do not know why you did this to yourself) 

7 out of 10. 

I look back on The Vampire Diaries with the kind of fondness that only comes from a bizarre mix of nostalgia and incredulity. When scenes from this series show up on my instagram feed or on my Youtube recommended page, an involuntary smile creeps across my face without me realizing. I could do without like half of the characters and some entire seasons were completely unnecessary to watch, but it gave me some of my very favorite characters and ships, and spawned an entire universe that I still enjoy to this day. This magical, crazy, beautiful world was a joy to experience, even when it made me want to beat my head against a wall at least once per season.

If you want to see the other ones I have made, here's the original post with links. x  Hope you like these! (I say to probably no one...)

[delcat177]

My Dinner With Garfield: An AppVenture

Just because you’re smiling doesn’t mean you haven’t drowned --They Might Be Giants, Dark and Metric

There was a time in my life where I genuinely enjoyed Garfield.  There has never NOT been a time in my life where I haven’t genuinely enjoyed free money.  I consider myself a warrior of fortune--you can daily find me dutifully filling out surveys and watching ads in various services that will give you gift cards for being a cog in the capitalist machine, and I’ll put my hand in toward anything promising semi-paid semi-labor.

This is especially true with ground-floor terribly-planned enterprises, which is how I was able to legally flimflam Bing out of $15 worth of gift cards by searching for pictures of animals once a day.  So of course after the initial wave of nausea and secondhand embarrassment over Garfield Go, I was installing it and ready to see how effectively I--and any other card-hunters--could grin and bear my way to some free Starbucks.

The Garfield emulation is so complete that you already know the punchline before reading it, but come along, won’t you?

WARNING: Yes I will be comparing it to Pokemon Go.  To be fair, it knows EXACTLY what it’s doing.

WARNING THE SECOND: I batch-edited these and Tumblr doesn’t like the size, but in keeping with the true Garfield spirit, I’m too lazy to edit them again.  You’re not missing anything.

The first thing I managed to do was break the app.  I disallowed AR, thinking that it would have a stock background similar to PoGo, because that shit eats battery like...God, I don’t have it in me to make a lasagna joke, just let it be said that rather than issue a warning, it went to an entirely black screen.  I fixed it manually and was greeted with Not Garfield on my coffee table, demanding food.  Contrary to his nature, he refused to eat anything I didn’t curveball directly into his dish.  My sister and warrior-in-apps commented on how I managed to land it in on my second try, and I realized I actually had an edge from never giving up on PoGo.  Not a lot of edge, and not enough to get it more than one out of three times, but it set my spirits moderately high.

I did some checking around in the app, and wasn’t able to find much to do while stationary except bake food.  I wasn’t sure what it was for, but when an app tells you to do a free time-based thing, you do it, and I threw a lasagna on.  I was offered the option to bake it immediately for more in-game currency than it cost to buy one.  I had a couple thousand free starter coins but also first-grade math skills, and declined.

The time was ripe.  After trading comments on how janky the controls were (you have to use two fingers in a twisting motion to change the map view, which is one of the dirtiest sounding and looking mechanics I've seen since jerk-off jogging in Wii Fit), my sister and I parted ways and the experiment began.

My nightly walks tend to be heavy on the “nightly”.  This led to the game’s first flaw disguised as a perk: While it’s true that it will gladly put its Pokestops anywhere (they’re Bistros here), “anywhere” includes “your neighbor’s apartment”.  They’re also full minigames, which means instead of giving your phone a quick swipe, you stop dead and play a lackluster Simon expy, because there is nothing less awkward and likely to get security called on you than standing in front of someone’s house at 11:42 at night silently tapping away on your phone for an extended period of time.  I threw the game, got some free food, and quickly moved on before I had to explain my motivations.

Things got dark fast.  I mean that literally.  One of the other reasons forced AR is a problem is that it isn’t built for nighttime play.  Every time I tapped a hotspot, it gave me a “Waiting For GPS” screen before dropping Goblinfield in pitch black, enticing me to appease him with baked sacrifices.  It’s a simple mechanic: If you successfully pitch food into his dish, Gerbfield will eat and then find a chest for you to open.  It’s also a highly broken one.  The food items are all made of lead that turns into rubber on the impact, requiring an unsatisfying Herculean toss to pitch a piece of cake that’ll most likely either miss or bounce back out again.  You get three tries, which is somewhat generous, but the sheer frustration nullifies it.  My frustration was amplified on the realization that GarGo does not allow you to throw high enough to even possibly hit Goobfield in the face.

"Hey kids, wanna see where I hid Lyman's body?  Tap the box."

One of the things that is admittedly sort of clever is having a button to tap to refresh hotspots.  One of the things that is not is not instructing the player that it's there.  I was a third of the way through my usual route before I noticed it and could begin playing again.  I stopped for a moment to relate the information to my sister. She replied that the app was claiming she was ten blocks from where she was and near an inexplicable horseshoe-shaped structure.  I took a side-by-side of where I was to relate GerBo's...relaxed attitude toward geography and also the laws of physics.

Novelty was running low, but I got a boost in determination from getting my first gift card...fragment?

Well, that explained how the gift card scenario was going to shake down.  I could guess how many first pieces of the promised $100 gift card were already being given out and how few of the next two would ever be found, much less that golden fourth, but that was fine.  I play these for the little prizes, not the big ones, because expecting to win anything that isn't roughly 1/80,000th the value they squeeze out of you is a recipe for disappointment.  I kept going.

The hotspots led me into the local Safeway, which happened to also house a Pokestop, and I ran flat against a new flaw: The game is NOT subtle.  PoGo can be played with relative normalcy 80% of the time, since you can turn AR off and keep marching staunchly ahead as you catch.  GerfCo requires either violently whipping around at 180 degrees or slowly turning the same distance with your phone up like a pod person, and I was quickly pressed to decide which was worse.  I ended up buying a candy bar as a social apology for looking like a jerk in a public place and hopefully as an unspoken excuse for being there.  Upon doing so, I realized I didn't have any cash on hand and was paying for a dollar candy bar at midnight in Safeway with a credit card, which made me look like a right pillock instead of a jerk, but now one hundred pennies deep into this venture, I soldiered on, chocolate in hand.

I had noticed by this point that the food system was tiered, so I switched to the one piece of lasagna starting the game had given me and stuck the landing. This gave me a "better chance" of finding the highest-tier chest, but I was unsurprised that it wasn't one.  I was more surprised by what was inside.

I hope you weren't expecting "that $100 gift card".  Ah, yes, Garfield's trademark white fedora, the one he's so known for wearing.  Compelled to take every chance available to make this experience as viscerally unpleasant as possible, I equipped it immediately.

This is why I need meninism.

Things weren't getting better.  The next refresh of the hotspots spawned absolutely every one on the other side of the street.  I was now adding "crossing the road in the middle of the night" to the list of fun-filled family activities GlorpNo had to offer.  I had run out of food and was now using the in-game currency to buy it fresh.  My iPod, which has slowly developed sentience over the years, kept shuffling up Mountain Goats songs.  I was starting to feel distinctly unnerved.

PoGo wasn't averse to getting its two cents in on the matter.

Standing outside of a dimly lit Pizza Hut where the cashier was closing out their drawer and probably wondering if the guy whipping around in half-circles outside the building was planning the world's illest-advised burglary, I won a comic strip panel.  Not a comic strip. A single panel.  Despite the ability to look up literally every Garfield strip ever made on multiple platforms with a casual Google search, I was being given a single panel of a single strip as a hallowed reward.  I pictured a small child working for days for the RNG to let them read a three-panel strip in full, staring bleakly at the one they had in the meantime and wondering if it was the punchline or the setup.  

I began redefining my understanding of the term "liminal space".

By this point, I was entirely out of food, nearly out of coins, and on my last percentage of patience.  As if sent by Jim Davis’ automated humorbot itself begging me to reconsider, I got a notification that the lasagna I had started making an hour and a half ago was done.  I hauled ass to the next hotspot and got ready to make good.

Yeah you all saw that coming.  You know, Globeel, if I tossed a fiver toward a busker’s case and it landed behind it, they would just pick it up.  I know it’s food but 1) you’re a cat 2) you are Garfield the Cat (question mark heavily implied) 3) at least the busker offers a return service.

I need to state that at this point I was actually going to stay with this game, despite my readily apparent feelings on it.  It's not fun, it's not a mentally rewarding experience, but I am by nature a patient person, and I was willing to stick with it for the eventual gains.  That's how you win at these things--being willing to put the time in for the gradual increments to stack up.  I was actually looking forward to going home and checking in on food I was baking and slowly going after the gold.

Then I decided to check what I had earned so far, and the entire thing came to a screeching halt.

Here’s the grift, folks, here's how the carnival game works.  Remember how the system is tiered?  You have to have the highest-tier item to get a chance of seeing one of those diamond chests, and there's no guarantee the piece will be inside.  Again, it takes an hour and a half to bake one piece of lasagna, or else 350 coins to buy one.  You get a small handful of coins from chests and a slightly larger handful if you finish a "trinket" collection, but unless you are willing to devote your waking hours to the game, your recourse is buying your way there.  And...how much are those coins?

Yyyyyeah.  It's Vegas, baby.  You pay to play and the house always wins.

So, friendly fast-buck-sters, this app definitely isn't worth it for money value.  If it was a matter of staying inside and rolling the dice while I multitask, I might be on board for chasing the golden ticket, but GlerbGubler demands all of your attention in public spaces and turns out Sisyphean as a result, if Sisyphus was constantly aware of how awkward he looked pushing that damned boulder. Play Lucktastic, join e-rewards, get into the sites that actually reward you consistently for a reasonable amount of effort.  Your time does have value, so make sure it's honored.

I uninstalled the app on the way home.  Deleted all the data I had, torched it. Stood on the sidewalk laughing, watching it burn, all tabby cat orange and lasagna sauce red.  Then I put on a top 40 station, got on the Hollywood Freeway, headed north.

Never could stand that cat.

[jimjohn0000-blog]

Beast device reviewed: once all you would like is to induce stronger, better, faster—now

This $250 device is just smart for obtaining pumped up up, and that is ok.' There still are not several fitness trackers that square measure appropriate for a athletic facility atmosphere. whereas devices just like the Atlas Wristband have pushed the class forward, the Fitbits and Garmins of the planet still principally specialize in cardio exercises whereas throwing some traceable moves like "weight training" into the combo. The $250 Beast device is one in every of the most recent devices to focus on gym-goers, specifically weight-room junkies.

The device could be a little module that, once connected to your articulatio plana, back, or athletic facility instrumentality, measures speed, power, and variety of alternative atypical metrics to assist you win beast-like fitness goals. The Beast device is made on the principles of velocity-based coaching, that could be a approach of understanding that solely a choose cluster are going to be able to use (and wish to use) to their profit. I spent it slow with the Beast device in my athletic facility and may say it is a capable fitness hunter, however solely bound folks can notice it priceless.

Design: very little device, uncountable power

Despite its pseudo-intimidating name, the Beast device is diminutive. it is a two-inch long inert gas yellow module that holds 3 accelerometers, 3 gyroscopes, and 3 compasses, with a metal particle battery within. The device has the company's brand in black, and atiny low indicator light-weight flashes once the device is correctly connected to your smartphone via Bluetooth. The indicator conjointly flashes once the device charges via its microUSB port. On high of everything the device packs into its small module, it is also magnetic, thus you'll attach it to its enclosed wristband and any athletic facility instrumentality you would like, together with barbells and metal weight machines.

The device feels weighty in your hand, however once you slide it into the pocket on the enclosed wristband, it becomes nearly undetectable. The wristband is not something special—just a black elastic band that you just will secure with its Velcro finish. The open-ended pocket conjointly encompasses a magnet to confirm the Beast device does not fall out once you are finishing a collection.

The Beast device is within the same general class because the $250 Atlas Wristband within the sense that it is a gym-based fitness hunter that emphasizes weight coaching. However, whereas the Atlas Wristband encompasses a PMOLED show and focuses on rep enumeration, the Beast device uses its module style and related  algorithms to trace speed and performance. It records workouts and offers feedback supported the principles of speed based mostly coaching (VBT), that could be a approach of victimization speed to work out what quantity weight you must be lifting on any given day, counting on your finish goal.

For example, for instance you are lifting to induce stronger: underneath the rules of VBT, if you are lifting too quickly on daily once you feel energized for a effort, you must increase the number of weight you are lifting so as to bring your speed down and maximize the strength you are gaining from every individual rep. The Beast mobile app encompasses a Cliff-notes VBT explainer in it, and also the company has constant data on its journal.

We'll get into the specifics of however the Beast device works in reference to VBT within the following sections, however its style is in line with its supposed purpose. in contrast to the Atlas Wristband that you just wear nearly solely on your articulatio plana, the Beast device will and may be rapt around. Wear it on your articulatio plana whereas you are doing bicep curls, place it on the weights once you do leg presses, or place it on your back within the nonobligatory Beast Vest to record pull ups and push ups. The device could appear less easy since it does not have any controls on the module itself, however it's a lot of versatile than you will ab initio believe.

Features: creating the load space your own

The Beast device combines its motion chase guts with algorithms and user-provided data to guage however arduous you are operating whereas you exercise. But first, you've got to create certain you are doing exercises it will track. whereas the app encompasses a list of traceable moves, you'll add your own, too. after I took the Beast device into my athletic facility, I intercalary the hip abduction machine to its list. With the Beast device connected magnetically to the facet of 1 of the moving leg rests, I started a effort among the app solely to search out that the device wasn't studying my reps.

Placement is essential for the Beast device. I had higher luck after I placed the device on the stack of weights within the machine. whereas I rapt on from the hip abduction machine, I used the device during this approach on a bicep curl machine likewise as AN abdominal curl machine. when the weights rapt up and down, the Beast device captured my reps in real time (you will follow along side the app opened on your smartphone). The device conjointly captured my speed in meters per second, and power in watts modified with every rep.

The same factor happened after I mistreated the device on the metal handle of a dumbbell. counting on the scale of the dumbbell, I unbroken the device simply to the facet of my hand grasping the handle, or I place the device on the handle directly beneath my hand thus I might grasp each it and also the handle right away.

A few exercises will not be accurately completed unless you've got the Beast Vest, that permits you to attach the device to your back. i attempted doing a little push-ups with the device in its wristband, however no reps were recorded. whereas the Sensor's style makes it simple to stay on completely different surfaces, you've got to work out that position is best for the exercise you are finishing before you'll get AN correct reading. The Beast device is comparable to the Atlas Wristband therein approach, notwithstanding the previous was designed to be placed on external objects likewise as your body.

The Beast device is additionally just like Atlas therein it gets tripped up from time to time. however instead of missing reps just like the Atlas, my device counted some additional reps throughout some workouts. Thankfully, I ne'er finished a effort with ten or twenty a lot of reps than I really completed. At most, my device erroneously counted one or 2 additional.

The device has 5 choices of activity chase modes: Performance chase, that merely monitors your movements; Hypertrophy, for bulking up muscle to realize strength and size; Georgia home boy Strength, for increasing the force you'll output in every movement; Power, for playacting underneath the best strength and speed conditions to maximise power; and speed, for increasing the speed of your movements.

The variety of selections is confusing to grasp initially, however once you break down every mode, you'll simply select the simplest for your supposed fitness goals. Next to every mode within the app could be a question-mark bubble that you just will faucet to induce a lot of data. that is priceless. beneath every mode title could be a catchy tagline like Georgia home boy Strength's "grow as robust as a bear." I would like the corporate did not attempt to be cute and instead place correct, straightforward descriptors beneath every title so VBT newbies would not have to be compelled to hunt for basic data.

Beast app: A tag team between mobile and net

The Beast app for robot and iOS is simply as crucial because the device is throughout a effort. The homepage has 2 options: begin a "planned workout"—which could be a assortment of exercises you've got predetermined within the net portal as a circuit to be completed on a selected day—or begin coaching, wherever you'll choose between concerning forty exercises to finish. I principally worked with the latter.

At first, i used to be frustrated at the restricted range of traceable exercises. The Atlas Wristband solely has concerning ten a lot of traceable exercises, thus there is not an enormous distinction within the range. however the Atlas was recently updated to incorporate chase for a few cardio exercises, and that is an enormous distinction. The Beast device cannot track ancient cardio like running or sport.

You also have the choice to feature AN exercise and provides it a reputation and an outline. That comes in handy if you're keen on an exact machine at the athletic facility and need to trace those moves on a daily basis. I would like the Sensor's exercise list had some educational videos or apps to indicate you ways to finish exercises, creating it easier for those people United Nations agency wish to expand our effort routines with new moves. however while not videos, photos, or written directions, you are on your own.

During a effort, the app shows you period of time speed and power stats. Otherwise, there is nothing to try to to within the app whereas you are finishing a collection. Once you are finished, faucet the dominant circle at the highest of the page to finish the routine. Then the app shows you a outline of your effort, together with charts for power by set, average power progression (this shows you ways you've got improved over time for constant exercise), power by rep, average speed, and your athletic profile. The athletic profile is arguably the foremost attention-grabbing chart, because it breaks down your performance by strength, power, speed, explosiveness, and resistance, and it maps that information with a geometrical form. The points of that form can lean toward the areas of the chart wherever you performed higher for that specific exercise. as an example, the athletic profile for my 1st bicep curl machine effort victimization the Beast device leaned heavily toward strength instead of speed or power.

The only distinction you will see within the charts is once you are coaching during a mode aside from Performance chase. In any of the opposite modes, the app completes each session by advising you ways to raised win your goal. after I completed a bicep curl set of thirty pounds underneath the Georgia home boy Strength coaching mode, i used to be met with this advice: "Too several reps—eventually attempt to slightly increase the load to remain within the best vary of Georgia home boy 5 reps per set." so as to realize strength, i might have to be compelled to bog down and increase my load from thirty pounds to one thing higher. I seemingly would not add twenty pounds, however another 5 to seven pounds would keep my speed among the right vary for achieving my most strength potential.

Unfortunately, those careful charts disappear once you save the effort. you cannot remember at past workouts within the mobile app at all—you should go onto the net portal to try to to thus. that is seriously inconvenient, particularly considering the net portal does not have that athletic profile chart in the least and encompasses a slightly completely different approach of breaking down the remainder of your stats. within the net app, all of your workouts square measure separated by date and time completed, and your stats square measure all painted by bar graphs. you'll toggle between power, velocity, and strength graphs. All of them show rep-specific data, together with peak power and cargo, once you hover over a private bar. A "best repetition details" button brings up a line graph that shows the acceleration, velocity, and power behind your best singular rep therein recorded set.

Homepage of Beast's net portal. Bar graph breakdown of a private effort. Graphs will show speed, power, and strength throughout every rep within the set. Additional stats embrace total reps, total time underneath tension, and more. A line graph shows stats of your best-performed rep.

Another factor you'll solely neutralise the net app is produce planned workouts, that allow you to place along individual exercises into a circuit. Planned workouts adjust to the mobile app when you create them, thus you'll move into the Planned Workouts folder to start out the circuit you created for that individual day. this type of feature offers you additional power and selection in your workouts whereas conjointly taking the guess-work out of daily exercise routines. If you are on a strict coaching arrange, you seemingly have elements of the body you would like to tackle day by day you're employed out. making planned sessions makes that a lot of easier than running blind at the athletic facility.

The Beast mobile app and net portal have a weird relationship. I perceive why the corporate divided the options {of every|of every} and also the data you'll access on each. Also, once you think about the Beast device are often employed by athletes and trainers alike, the division is sensible. however as a fitness-focused person (not a professional), i might choose to have all of Beast's options on the mobile app. most significantly, i need to ascertain stats of past workouts on my smartphone. It's easier to access on the go and a lot of satisfying once you will straight off remember at the exercises you completed that day compared to those of yesterday or days previous. the sole feature i feel is less complicated to use on a computer is that the Planned effort feature, as it's a lot of convenient to form AN exercise arrange from a bunch of choices on a bigger screen.

Specificity still comes at a value

When I 1st received the Beast device, i believed it might be a general rep counter and movement hunter for the athletic facility. This impression was wrong, and that is each a decent and a nasty factor. The $250 hunter is also a lot of advanced than a daily rep counter, however it narrows in on its experience as a velocity-based coaching device. whereas you'll merely record your workouts victimization the overall Performance chase mode, all of the data you receive when a effort is filtered through a velocity-based coaching lens.

After victimization the Beast device, i'm intrigued by VBT, and that i could still use it as my weight-training methodology. However, VBT is simply {one approach|a method|a technique|a way} of exercising—and it's only 1 way of doing one specific kind of exercise. Understanding what all of your stats mean in VBT takes a moment. build no mistake, the Beast device isn't the device for you if you are looking for a all-around fitness hunter for the athletic facility. therein case, you would be far better off with the $250 Atlas Wristband, that recently updated its code to incorporate run chase additionally to its rep enumeration options.

But if you are looking for a weight-training answer, the Beast device could be a smart choice, as long as you are willing to find out by doing. Its rep counter is correct, and also the varied sensors inside the little module square measure perpetually at work. mix that with the algorithms that translate your information and you've got advanced|a posh|a fancy} device that radiates complex and thorough exercise information whereas you are pumping iron. The Beast device is unquestionably not for {those United Nations agency|those that|people who} square measure gently interested in their weight-lifting progress—it's for truth beasts within the weight space who would like a tool that may get them to consecutive level.

The Good

Magnetic style ensures the module sticks to the wristband and free weights alike. Rep enumeration is correct. Targeted power, speed, and strength data permits you to build terribly specific fitness goals. Create your own planned effort routines. The Bad

Beast Vest or another body strap is critical to trace some exercises. Workout stats square measure solely visible  absolutely on net portal. Mobile app is blank except for being the companion program whereas chase a effort. The Ugly

Unless you are doing velocity-based coaching, the Beast device is not helpful.

[newstfionline]

Abalonia: The Island Nation That Never Was

By Anne Ewbank, Atlas Obscura, June 28, 2018

In 1966, California newspapers began reporting a startling story. A B-movie actor and several California businessmen were making plans to build their own island. The chosen locale was 100 miles off the California coast, on a massive, submerged island known as Cortes Bank. Ostensibly, the goal would be to mine a rich vein of seafood, especially abalone. Only an accident kept them from building their island nation. It was going to be called “Lemuria,” the name of a lost continent. But the media coined another, more compelling name: “Abalonia.”

Cortes Bank has long been considered a valuable yet perilous spot. Ships need to dodge Bishop Rock, which lurks a few feet below the surface, marked by a warning buoy. The site fosters a rich environment of sea life, making it a diving destination today. It’s also a legendary surfing site, because Cortes Bank produces some of the tallest surfable waves in the world. For Joe Kirkwood, Jr., Richard Taggart, and Bruce McMahan, the attraction was the sea life: They hoped to build an island outpost where they could harvest and ship seafood plentifully and cheaply. However, they didn’t know about the waves.

The group was an eclectic bunch. Kirkwood was most famous for appearing in film versions of the comic strip Joe Palooka. He was also a talented pro golfer, and owned a bowling alley. Taggart and McMahan were California abalone canners. Also involved, among others, were savings and loan group president Robert Lynell and aquatic expert James Houtz.

Their plan was to drag a decommissioned World War II freighter, the SS Jalisco, to Cortes Bank and scuttle it in a shallow area. Afterwards, they would haul rocks and even garbage out to the Bank, to create a terra firma from which sweet, fleshy abalone could be harvested. And they would rule their new nation of Abalonia. In October 1966, Taggart gave the verbal equivalent of a shrug to the Los Angeles Times. “I know it sounds fantastic,” he said, “But we’ve consulted experts in international law and they say there’s nothing to prevent us from starting our own country if we want to.”

Much of the history of the “Abalonians” has been compiled by a journalist, who also coined the term “Abalonians.” In 2011, Christopher Dixon published Ghost Wave, a history of Cortes Bank and the explorers, treasure hunters, and surfers obsessed with it. One chapter was devoted to the Abalonia tale. “The idea of someone trying to resurrect a sunken island is such an American idea to me,” he says.

By the time Dixon was writing his book, many of the Abalonians had died or gone to ground. Trying to find Kirkwood or someone associated with him was a bust. Until one day, someone anonymously sent him a package. Inside was a scribbled-over manuscript and fistfuls of photos of the Jalisco. The manuscript, says Dixon, was Kirkwood’s account of the dramatic sinking of the freighter and his own near-death, which he had apparently written up for Sports Illustrated but never published. Even better, he soon got a call from James Houtz, who was on the Jalisco that fateful November day.

“You’re really taxing my brain, kiddo,” Houtz says when I reach him at his home in Dana Point, California. Now 79 years old and retired, he took a break from wrangling grandchildren to tell me how he joined the Abalonia venture. A diving and underwater demolitions expert, Houtz had served in the Navy. A self-professed thrill-seeker, he gained fame diving Death Valley National Monument’s Devil’s Hole, a geothermal pool that’s home to the world’s rarest fish. His experience turned somber when, in 1965, two young divers disappeared into its watery depths. Houtz was flown in to find them, but only found a mask. The publicity around the tragedy led to Houtz receiving a call from Kirkwood.

“It was nuts,” Houtz says of Kirkwood’s plan. But he was young and daring, only in his late 20’s. Soon, he was in, intrigued by the challenge. “In my opinion, the impossible takes just a little bit longer. A little bit more thinking.” And, of course, he wanted “a cut of the pie.” Serving as both an aquatic expert and financial backer (he took out a second mortgage on his house), Houtz says he was the one who came up with the idea of scuttling a freighter to build the base of Abalonia. The team found the Jalisco in a “mothball fleet” up in Berkeley. After stripping the ship of everything that could be sold for salvage, it was outfitted as a seafood processing enterprise. By planting the ship near Bishop Rock, the shallowest part of the Bank, fisherman could start harvesting seafood right away.

The dream of Abalonia was expansive. The spot would also be a hive for commercial fishermen, Kirkwood believed, and they could build a runway for planes. Ships could stop to refuel, and there could even be gambling. Even building the island would be subsidized, since Kirkwood claimed he was teaming up with City of Los Angeles to build Abalonia out of the city’s trash. It seemed like an impossible dream, but Kirkwood had a way of making it seem possible. Houtz remembers Kirkwood as boisterous and extremely charismatic. But Houtz also says that Kirkwood had an irresponsible streak, something that may have sunk Abalonia.

In Ghost Wave, Dixon conjectures that Kirkwood kickstarted the Abalonia venture in a rush, fearing the federal government would bring it to a halt. At the time, Houtz noted that there was a storm on the coast of Japan, but thought it wouldn’t have too much of an effect. On November 13, the Abalonians and their crews left out of the Balboa Bay Club late in the evening. The SS Jalisco was on its way, from where it was docked far up north in Richmond, California. Barges full of rocks, provided by McMahan, were scheduled to follow soon after.

Houtz had already been to the Bank, scouting for the ideal way to lay the ship down. He had set down a runway of buoys, and with two anchors and long chains, he planned to put the Jalisco into a precise spot before scuttling it. While he had seen some of Cortes Bank’s large swells, putting down the planned “Volkswagen-sized” rocks would likely have protected the Jalisco, he says. Ironically, when the Jalisco arrived near Bishop Rock, they floated on a calm sea. “The kind you kind of dream about. It was just so flat and so smooth,” Houtz remembers. But soon, slight swells started rocking the freighter. The effects of the far-off storm, in the form of a massive North Pacific swell, was arriving.

Both man-made and natural disaster struck. Houtz says he left much of the preparation of the Jalisco to Kirkwood. When Houtz, Kirkwood, and three others clambered aboard, one of the anchors and much of the vital anchor chain (necessary for situating the freighter) was missing, sold for extra money as salvage. Plus, the diesel engine that powered the chain spool compressor was broken. Putting the freighter in the right place would be nearly impossible. Meanwhile, the swells were getting larger, lifting the Jalisco up 20 feet and dropping it. One swell crushed the freighter against Bishop Rock. “It just thundered. It just crunched. It just hit,” Houtz says. The Jalisco plunged down: The hull had been punctured by Bishop Rock.

The 7,000-ton freighter twisted and turned. A massive wave loomed, then swept over the freighter, snapping the anchor chain. Kirkwood grabbed ahold of a jackstaff, but the others were slammed against the side so hard that Houtz broke a rib. The Whitney Olson, the tugboat that had dragged out the Jalisco, valiantly came close to the side to rescue the trapped men. One man made it over, another jumped into the water. Houtz, Kirkwood, and another man, Will Lesslie, were left on the Jalisco, but not for long.

Kirkwood refused to let go of the jackstaff, insisting that the water couldn’t wash him away. “Joe, you’re out of your mind,” Houtz remembers saying. Another massive wave was coming, a wall of green water. Heavy barrels of diesel were tossed off the deck: looking as light, Houtz says, as after-dinner mints.

Sheltered behind the ship’s superstructure, Houtz was drenched but fine. But Will Lesslie and Kirkwood were taken overboard. A stunned Houtz, wearing a life jacket, leapt into the water and made it over to the Whitney Olson. An almost-drowned Kirkwood was swept beneath the entire length of the Whitney Olson, only to miraculously emerge relatively unharmed. Everyone on the Jalisco escaped with their lives.

The freighter wasn’t so lucky. Smashed by the waves, Dixon writes in Ghost Wave, “the entire superstructure tore completely free of the deck in a colossal mingling of water and steel.” Months passed before it sunk fully beneath the water. Houtz and the others were whisked away, to be interrogated by FBI agents who arrived via helicopter.

Houtz emerged physically and financially battered. No seafood empire rose from the waves--his investment was shot, and his rib was broken. The Abalonians parted, and Houtz never spoke to Kirkwood again. Kirkwood managed to dodge legal repercussions for the Abalonia affair, though there was a Coast Guard investigation.

The concept of Abalonia may have been mad, but Kirkwood did well for himself, buying a Hawaiian golf course and selling it in 1987 for $50 million. McMahan became a wealthy hedge fund manager whose lifestyle was the subject of tabloids. And maybe Abalonia wasn’t so bad of an idea after all. Another corporation started making noise about building an island at the spot soon after the Jalisco went down. The federal government squashed it by claiming Cortes Bank as U.S. territory.

As for Houtz, he soon recovered and even went back out to Cortes Bank. Occasionally is it clear enough to see San Clemente Island in the distance, he says. But other than the buoy, it’s a vista of empty sea. “It’s beautiful, but it’s eerie,” Houtz says.

Now, Cortes Bank is notorious, the rusted wreck of the Jalisco beneath the water making it even more dangerous for surfers (though it is a lush diving site). Houtz says he wasn’t aware of how massive the waves could get at Cortes Bank. He’s also not sure what would have happened if the Jalisco had been outfitted correctly. “The Jalisco was pretty fragile when it comes right down to it,” Houtz says. But he thinks that if it had been a calmer day, it might have survived long enough to be protected by the incoming rocks. Abalonia could have risen after all.

[usatrendingsports]

25 issues for spring 2018: School soccer names, battles, storylines you have to know

Fifteen practices. Eight of them in pads.

That makes coaches drool this time of yr. Spring practices are starting to open across the nation reminding us as soon as once more there is no such thing as a offseason.

What to look at for: 22 teaching adjustments … quarterback battles for each groups that performed for the nationwide championship … document teaching turnover within the SEC … Arizona State’s daring new look … a key season for Jim Harbaugh … the completely tough-as-nails Huge Ten East.

Carry a garden chair and a cooler or a blanket and a seat again. Welcome to the excessive level of the offseason.

Here is 25 issues to look at this spring.

1. Tuscaloosa two-step: Probably the most anticipated, intriguing, delicate quarterback battle in years kicks off March 21. That is when the battle begins. Jalen Hurts seemingly misplaced the job at halftime of the School Soccer Playoff Nationwide Championship, however Tua Tagovailoa has to observe by after the second-half comeback in opposition to Georgia. Will Hurts switch? Will Tua flourish? Will each play? The one factor at stake is the continuation of Alabama’s dynasty.

2. Talking of quarterback battles … Georgia might need an much more attention-grabbing state of affairs. Jake Fromm led the Dawgs to the brink of a championship. However right here comes the No. 1 prospect within the nation, Justin Fields, one other Georgia native son with higher all-around instruments. Assume Deshaun Watson with a greater arm. Both method, it does not seem to be Kirby Good can lose.

Three. SEC makeover: The six full-time coaches in new positions this yr essentially the most within the league since 1946. This time. over half the convention is popping over with Dan Mullen (Mississippi State to Florida), Joe Moorhead (Penn State offensive coordinator to Mississippi State), Jimbo Fisher (Florida State to Texas A&M), Chad Morris (SMU to Arkansas) and Jeremy Pruitt (Alabama defensive coordinator to Tennessee) getting new jobs. One clarification: Ole Miss’ Matt Luke bought the full-time gig after serving as interim in 2017.

four. Chip involves Westwood: UCLA did one factor good final yr in throwing the ball with Josh Rosen. However that reality led to the firing of Jim Mora Jr and the hiring of Chip Kelly, who has a little bit of rebuilding to do with a program that should win town (beat USC), then win the Pac-12. Kelly did that 3 times with Oregon. Chip is the proper coach on the good time for the imperfect workforce. There’s a lot work to be completed till anticipated quarterback recruit Dorian Thompson-Robinson arrives this summer season.

5. Frosty Nebraska: The Cornhuskers’ spring recreation was offered out faster than you possibly can say, “Hometown boy!” Scott has fully rejuvenated a drained program that wanted path. Nebraska’s former championship quarterback (and UCF coach) has completed simply that. The completely satisfied vibe in Lincoln ought to increase chilly temps at the least 10 levels.

Jim Harbaugh’s seat could heat up if Michigan struggles once more. USATSI

6. Who’s bought it harder than Michigan? Jim Harbaugh faces a key marketing campaign (his fourth) after his worst season — Eight-5 in 2017. The Wolverines want a quarterback (see beneath), extra workforce pace and a few hope to beat Ohio State and Penn State. In a Huge Ten East that will probably be completely loaded, Harbaugh and Michigan cannot afford to stumble.

7. The Determination, Shea Patterson-style: We must always be taught quickly if Michigan has that quarterback. Patterson is in search of a waiver to be eligible immediately after transferring from Ole Miss. And he seemingly has a great case for that attraction. It is secure to say Michigan’s season hinges on whether or not that waiver goes by. It is turning into greater than a speaking level that Harbaugh hasn’t been in a position to produce a difference-making quarterback but in Ann Arbor.

Eight. Houston’s once-in-a-generation star: Ed Oliver Jr. cleared his lifetime of muddle by declaring for the draft this week. Why not? The rising junior defensive lineman has performed solely two years of school soccer, accumulating 39.5 tackles for loss, 10.5 sacks and 5 compelled fumbles. He has already gained the Outland Trophy, grow to be an All-American and made himself the No. 1 participant within the nation, based on one publication. Oliver is also the No. 1 defensive Heisman Trophy candidate for 2018. Simply ask him. 

9. Clemson is locked and loaded: A little bit of Alabama Jr. right here. There’s a whole lot of hypothesis about Kelly Bryant’s job safety now that No. 1 recruit Trevor Lawrence is within the fold. Bryant’s backup Hunter Johnson can also be within the combine. To be clear, Bryant goes into spring because the starter. For pure viewing pleasure, I’d suggest attending any Clemson spring observe. The very best defensive position in ball will probably be on show. All 4 starters return. 

10. Michigan State turmoil: The Spartans are as loaded as any Huge Ten workforce. Twenty returning starters together with quarterback Brian Lewerke and tailback LJ Scott. Michigan and Ohio State come to East Lansing. However Mark Dantonio has needed to deny an ESPN report that sexual assaults by his gamers have been shielded. 

11. Keep in mind the Buckeyes: For the second consecutive yr, the Huge Ten champions bought overlooked of the CFP. This time, it was Ohio State which should now rebound from (a) that slight and (b) the loss 9 starters from a 12-2 workforce. Two 1,000-yard rushers return (Mike Weber, J.Okay. Dobbins), however the true query is at quarterback. All-time Buckeye nice J.T. Barrett is gone leaving the quarterback combat to junior Joe Burrow, sophomore Dwayne Haskins and freshman Tate Martell. Haskins (565 passing yards in eight video games) is the favourite.

12. High 5 assistants beginning new jobs:

Kendal Briles, offensive coordinator, Houston

Charlie Weis Jr., offensive coordinator, FAU

John Chavis, defensive coordinator, Arkansas

Craig Kuligowski, defensive position, Alabama

Mike Elko, defensive coordinator, Texas A&M

13. Which method, Notre Dame? Brian Kelly should preserve the momentum going from his third season of at the least 10 wins in South Bend. He loses two All-Individuals alongside the offensive line (Quenton Nelson, Mike McGlinchey) and should get Brandon Wimbush to be a more practical thrower. However the Irish will not enhance except a protection that returns 10 starters retains rolling with the lack of Mike Elko, this will probably be one other playoff-less season.

14. Did not you was once Oregon? Mario Cristobal is the Geese’ third coach in as many seasons. The final man (Willie Taggart) stayed one yr. It is exhausting to imagine solely 4 years in the past, Oregon was enjoying for a nationwide championship. Now, Taggart’s former offensive coordinator takes over. That is the second likelihood Cristobal by no means thought he’d get after being fired at FIU in 2012. The mandate is to get Oregon again to being a nationwide program.

15. Jimbo takes over A&M: We realized quite a bit about Jimbo Fisher on Nationwide Signing Day. He’ll be putting in a brand new offense and selecting between Nick Starkel and Kellen Mond for quarterback. A&M has one of the best every thing — stadium, cash, recruiting base and now probably coach. The Aggies are working out of excuses.

16. LSU has every thing however a quarterback: The place have you ever heard that earlier than? The stress ramps up in full-time yr No. 2 for Coach O. Defensive coordinator Dave Aranda is being paid greater than 80 FBS head coaches ($2.5 million per yr). Derrius Guice is gone. Oh yeah, sophomore Myles Brennan (24 profession passes) is that quarterback who has to return by. He’s the inheritor obvious to Danny Etling. Ed Orgeron must ship in 2018.

Herm Edwards is again in school. Sure, actually. USATSI

17. Ray Anderson’s Grand Experiment: Arizona State’s new soccer coach just lately spent a half 4 on Kansas Metropolis radio breaking down the Marcus Peters commerce. Huh? You’d suppose Herm Edwards had higher issues to do together with his time. That is only one oddity of hiring a 63-year-old TV analyst who final coached within the NFL 10 years in the past and in school 29 years in the past. Anderson, Arizona State’s athletic director, says coaches all the time know tips on how to coach. We’ll discover out. 

18. Pac-12 comeback: If there’s a subdivision among the many Energy 5, it begins with the Pac-12 on the backside. The income distinction continues to develop. The convention community has by no means gotten huge distribution. Nothing will be completed about late-starting video games. It is beginning to be a Energy 4 with Pac-12 slippage on the nationwide panorama. 5 new coaches debuting this spring could assist resuscitate the worst of the Energy 5 leagues.

19. Derek Dooley, lightning rod: Tennessee’s former coach, who has by no means known as an offensive play or coached a quarterback, was not solely was employed as Missouri’s offensive coordinator however inherits the projected No. 1 quarterback prospect in 2019 (Drew Lock). What may go incorrect?

20. Submit-Sam Darnold at USC: Whereas sophomore Matt Fink and freshman Jack Seats battle it out within the spring, it is attainable USC’s subsequent quarterback should be in highschool. Blue-chip prospect J.T. Daniels is trying to reclassify at Orange County energy Mater Dei. Which means jamming a bunch of courses into this semester so Daniels can enroll in time for the autumn. There’s cause for optimism. Mater Dei has produced two Heisman winners (John Huarte, Matt Leinart) in addition to USC’s all-time passing chief, Matt Barkley.

21. Stress, thy identify is Josh Heupel: Missouri’s offensive coordinator had one heck of a second half of the season. The Tigers gained their remaining six regular-season video games whereas Lock lit it up. Nonetheless, Heupel was a little bit of a shock at UCF the place he inherits a “nationwide championship” and the nation’s longest profitable streak. Like Frost earlier than him, Heupel has by no means been a head coach. Can UCF hit on an inexperienced choose twice in a row?

22. 12 months 2 at Texas: The turnaround wasn’t fast. Surprisingly, in 12 months 1 underneath Tom Herman, the Horns have been a defense-first squad. Which means Herman nonetheless has to seek out, establish and set up a quarterback. He hasn’t but. One other 7-6 end and the always-patient Texas administration (sarcasm added) will need a phrase with him.

Will Dan Mullen deliver a championship again to Florida? Getty Photos

23. Florida will get again to being offensive: Dan Mullen returns to Florida after 9 years at Mississippi State for mainly one cause: to make Florida soccer thrilling once more. The offensive malaise lasted by Will Muschamp and Jim McElwain. Mullen has technically coached two Heisman winners (Tim Tebow, Cam Newton for one season) and the Cowboys’ beginning quarterback (Dak Prescott). Feleipe Franks and Emory Jones, you are up.

24. Nonetheless on the lookout for jobs: These guys have tried, however except one thing develops quickly, Hugh Freeze, Butch Jones and Bret Bielema will probably be out of teaching in 2018. Of their careers, the three have mixed to common eight wins a season and go to 19 bowls. Jones, solely 50, is the oldest — and in addition appears to be the closest to touchdown a gig as he is in conversations to hitch Alabama as an off-field offensive analyst.

25. A remaining farewell in Pullman: Washington State is trying to find one other quarterback this spring due to essentially the most tragic of causes. Tyler Hilinski dedicated suicide in January. His household took out a half-page advert within the Seattle Instances to thank everybody who reached out.

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[heraldssrest]

its so frustrating how the early seasons was anti-hunting/war but then the writers completely flipped that.

sams character arc at first was him trying to quit hunting and live a normal life (and then he later gave up and accepted he was a hunter), plus the theme of the show was how hunting changes you for the worst and that leaving is a good thing, every hunter is PRAISED for finding a way to live a normal life (not sam though, that meant abandoning his family (i dont blame dean for it, he was groomed into being a soldier)). when dean was finally out, bobby was so happy for him, because most hunters never manage to quit, they usually die before they even make it to 50.

the writers fumbled the later seasons so hard, that s15 ended the exact same way it would have if the last 15 years never happened. dean, the soldier, dies on a hunt. and sam, the man who wanted a normal life, dies of old age.

so fucking stupid that they made join the hunt the tagline for late show supernatural btw. hunting being a metaphor for the military is pretty explicit, it's not even close to subtle. dean's constantly referred to as a soldier by other characters, a lot of young hunters we see talk about how they only got into the life because of their family, most of them at least in the early seasons are strongly prejudiced towards monsters and have a very us against them mentality, the main thing that cas and dean initially bond over is the fact that theyve been taught to view their sense of self worth in the context of their capacity for violence and following orders. a LOT of the characterization of hunters in the first couple of seasons centers around their desensitization of violence towards non-human beings and prejudice against them actually. i mean for god's sake sam and dean call their own father 'sir'

so much of dean's narrative is about how being groomed to be a hunter has ruined his life and sense of self-worth and made him feel really dehumanized. the show is pretty up front about it being the root of his problems with toxic masculinity, anger issues, and inability to be emotionally vulnerable. he is the POSTER CHILD for why no one should ever get into hunting so how the fuck did the late show writers miss the key themes so badly. this is the anti-war show idiots maybe think for a second before you make that your tagline