#made by a person whose actions they disapprove of in their personal life if it makes you uneasy or stops being fun

[bogunicorn]

ruminating on the current neil gaiman stuff, cw transphobia, talk about rape/assault

"believe all victims" doesn't mean "blindly believe every story of victimization when there are some clear indications that there's some serious bullshit going on." i think some people reacting to this shit with gaiman are, strangely, being a little too... not optimistic, but not being realistic about the sorts of shit that conservative/right wing publications will do to push their agenda. they don't need to be accurate, empathetic, or correct. they don't even need to commit to or prove or stand behind what they publish. they just need to shove something into the public conversation that suits their agenda and gets the big reaction, and then if they need to do so later for legal reasons, they'll post a quiet retraction that nobody will read and won't ultimately matter

these people are incredibly predatory, and will happily seek out people with legitimate grievance to encourage them to frame their experiences in a way that fits their agenda. with gaiman (and tennant and sheen, for that matter) clearly being a TERF target for being vocally supportive of trans people, it feels relevant to bring up joanne here. joanne has legitimate trauma. she was raped by a man. she has PTSD and her fear of men is something that's real and deserves sensitivity -- but her relationship with TERFs has morphed that legitimate grievance into "the existence of trans women is rape" and a whole host of other wild shit. and i do think she believes all that! i do think her fear of trans women, her absolute conviction that all trans women are deceivers and their every action is predatory, is very real. and i don't think she started out that way, that fear and distortion of reality was the clear and obvious result of being radicalized by TERFs who flattered her, supported her when she felt isolated, and validated all of her fears so well that when they wanted to give her new ones, she readily adopted them

that's to say that i don't put any fucking stock in the right-wing outlets or the podcast that the gaiman accusations happened on, and i don't put it past them to dig into legit grievances -- that the relationships were volatile and emotional, or that he had them while married and wouldn't leave his wife, or that they ended in messy ways, as possible examples -- and poke and prod and revisit the details until the stories conveniently fit into the perspective they want

which they then (supposedly) sat on for months until dropping the podcast episode like a tactical nuke right when david tennant and michael sheen are actively beefing with the conservatives over their pet issue and taking down gaiman's reputation would muddy the conversation and make it easier than ever to turn it into their classic "trans people and their supporters are predators" routine

i'm saying this serves the TERF agenda too well for me to take anything at face value here

[firendgold]

"dumbledore wants to control--" hush

Thinking about how irritating it is that people still believe that Albus Dumbledore (the person people should argue is maybe too lenient with letting every teenager in his school become Sherlock Holmes or Harry Houdini as it suits them) wants to control every single move any teenager makes under his roof or relationship they have, especially Harry.

Y'all. Albus does not care. He sure will prod you in one intellectual direction or the other, help you along toward whatever conclusion he's already drawn about goings-on, but this man is not gnashing his teeth or doing disapproving frowns over his glasses because one of his students keeps their guardian informed of Hogwarts happenings or wants to visit their vault in the middle of the year for some reason or what-the-fuck-ever.

Equally irritating, the fanon idea that Albus wants Harry to only live the life the headmaster plans or wishes (and that's IF they clear the hurdle of even realizing Albus wanted Harry to live at all).

"oh, Dumbledore doesn't want Harry to have power!" HE DOESN'T??? the same guy who said that Harry was a better man than him and a worthy master of the Hallows?

"Dumbledore only wants Harry to do X/be a sacrificial lamb!" He did not want Harry to die. He had no other choice thanks to the actions consistently taken by y'all's problematic fave, Voldemort. It's only a twist of irony that Voldemort also unintentionally rescued Harry as well. If Dumbledore had taken some of the actions y'all wanted him to by pretending he had the power to override an age-old Goblet that Barty used to put Harry in the tournament, then Harry would have perma-died at any point where an otherwise-resurrected Voldemort got his hands on him.

And Albus never expresses any desire for Harry to do or be anything besides what he is. Harry decides he wants to be an Auror because a Death Eater in disguise told him he'd be good at it. He never challenges this career path even when he honestly should.

Albus' actual wishes for Harry's future boil down to this:

is he alive?

is he safe?

is he happy?

If these conditions are filled, the real Albus Dumbledore is ecstatic.

So no, there's no universe where Albus is trying to block Harry from meeting with Ministry officials (unless they're losers like Rufus Scrimgeour, who was actively more interested in arresting randoms and getting photo shoots with the teenager he should have been PROTECTING from Voldemort, not holding in front of himself like a human shield).

The real Albus does not even lift an eyebrow at your fanon Harrys deciding they must meet with The Heads of Prominent Magical Families who previously didn't give a single shit about them. (And fandom, why is this dumb idea STILL A THING two decades later?? Who gives a shit what the dude whose name you found on Pottermore and whose personality you made up has been doing during the Voldemort years, when it was likely just sitting around with a thumb up his ass twittering about Family Honor while fascist terrorists were murdering people across the country?)

Albus likes Harry more than anyone else. He wants Harry to live a fulfilling life. If Harry became Minister for Magic, Albus would be thrilled. It would give him an excuse to actually visit the Ministry more often.

If Albus could be said to have an endgame or desire for Harry's career at all, it would be making Harry a professor at Hogwarts. Did you see how much he teared up when he found out the resistance was named after him? Or how he spent the whole next year giving Harry 'lessons' he had to know were being passed right to Ron and Hermione? Albus' passion is teaching; it's the one thing he feels he hasn't completely screwed up or corrupted. He'd die happy if Harry became the Defense professor and they could share meals and classroom anecdotes every day.

[spacerockfloater]

I am so displeased with Alicent’s character development, if you can even call it that.

Her taking her frustration out on Criston and slapping him because her grandchild died? Disturbing as hell, but I was willing to led it slide because she was grieving and it seemed like Cole understood that, too.

Her letting Gwayne insult the fuck out of Criston and be racist/ classist towards him without defending her lover in the slightest? The man who has no personal gain from all this shit-show and does it all for her sake? I was fucking livid. Tell me, whose loyalty is as fleeting as a moth’s again?

And then having the audacity to be angry with him for not standing up for her when she herself didn’t do the same for him? What is wrong with her!? Especially when Criston made a perfectly valid point: she doesn’t have the heart to do what must be done to win this war, which is crazy considering that she was fully ready to fight Rhaenyra to protect her children. The children she borderline hates now apparently (I can’t get over how much she suddenly disapproves of Aegon and Aemond this season), which would have been fine since they are her rapist’s children and all, but then why would you go to war and not be ready to do whatever it takes to win it? What do her and Rhaenyra think that they’re doing here? Did they plan on being the first pacifist war leaders in the history of the universe or what? Neither of the two act like women with motherly instincts or humans with personal agendas to pursue. It’s as if all of the women in this show are competing for the fucking Nobel Peace Prize.

By the way, speaking of her and Rhaenyra, the parallel of them being women who are ignored by their council is so forced. Alicent never wanted to rule neither in the show or the book. In HOTD she supports her son’s claim to save her family from Rhaenyra and her faction and in F&B she does it because she feels that the law is on her son’s side and he deserves the throne. She NEVER does it for herself or because she thinks women shouldn’t rule. Never out of selfishness or misogyny. So where the fuck did this “parallel” come from? It’s so infuriating.

I understand this is not completely her fault. I think her character peaked in S1 E9 and the producers saw how justified her actions were and how sympathetic she is (even Emma D’Arcy said they are on her side) that they decided to knock her down a peg, because God forbid the Greens have anything good going on for them! Let’s make them all hate one another! She’s slowly regressing back to herself from the first half of S1, because the determined mother and queen that was ready to win at all costs is no longer there.

As someone who has spent countless hours of my life defending and praising her, I am so saddened by her behaviour this season. I know this is Ryan’s tactic to make us hate the Targtowers, but nonetheless it is show canon and I feel the need to be fair and hold her accountable for it.

[pnf-n-mcu-is-life]

Guardians of the Galaxy 3 quotes!!

Peter: People on Earth die when they’re like, 50.

Mantis: They die when they’re 50???

P: I dunno, something like that.

M: What’s even the point of being born?

P: Exactly! [You good dude]

M: Are you about to die?

P, shocked: I’m not 50!

Mantis: What colour button did you push?

Peter: Blue, for the blue suit!

Nebula: Blue is the open line for everyone.

Mantis: Orange is for blue. Blue is for orange, Yellow is for green, green is for red, and red is for yellow.

Drax: No, Yellow is for yellow, green is for red, and red is for green.

Mantis: How do you know that?

Drax: Try it then.

Mantis, to Peter: HELLLOOOOO.

Peter, feedback ringing in his ears: How the hell was I supposed to know all of that?

Drax: Seems intuitive.

D: I know lots of analogies, Quill. Analogies, metaphors, et cetera.

*Mantis in the background waving her hands for Drax to stop*

D: For instance, Gamoras head is like a lily pad because it is green. Anology. And also stupid looking and flappy.

Q, making a *disapproved face the entire time: Flappy?

D: Because her head is made of a leaf. Metaphor.

Q: is it?

D: Yesterday, I made a poop shaped like a fish. Even my butt is capable of making an analogy.

Q: I don’t care. I don’t need another speech by some impotent whackjob whose mother didn’t love him rationalizing why he needs to conquer the universe.

The High Evolutionary: Quite a novel escape plan. Jumping off a ship into an exploding planet.

*Drax, speaking in orbese* N: why didn’t you tell us you knew their language this whole time?

Drax, an icon: You never asked.

+ ones that smash:

Gamora: Just drop me off with my people now!

Peter: “Your people?” The Ravagers aren’t your people. I’m a damn Ravager. You aren’t.

Gamora: I don’t give a shit about your Gamora. Life made me me!

Some person: Sire, you have an irrational obsession with this animal! You must stop, for God’s sake!

THE: There is no GOD! That’s why I stepped in!

+ Peter’s disappointed face:

+ omg LIVE ACTION HOWARD THE DUCK 🦆 🦆????!?!!!!?!!?!?!?!?!?

[living-for-fiction]

Vent incoming; if you thirsty hoes want drama that doesn't affect you then read on. I've been pretty inactive recently because life is life-ing and, well, I was trying to keep my shit together with the single thread of sanity I had.

After a long talk with a trusted confidante about the very recent loss of a 30 year friendship, I have come to an uncomfortable realization. Some of the realization I came to when the friendship ended, and some of it I came to after talking with this confidante for more than an hour. This person is someone I tell everything and whose perspective and advice I greatly appreciate. They have no problem calling me on my bullshit, but they also have no problem telling me when I am being too hard on myself and taking on blame for things that aren't my fault.

The entire time I was friends with this person, they regularly used aversive actions to attempt to correct my behavior. In this case, the friendship ended because they are angry that I am not allowing them to decide who I am allowed to be in a romantic relationship with. It's obvious in retrospect; they disliked my relationships with both my serious exes, strongly encouraged me to end those relationships, and made their disapproval clear when I did not comply. This time, they not only hate my girlfriend (their word - I am not exaggerating, they said they hate her) but they ascribed my girlfriend's autistic behaviors and innate distrust of EVERYONE due to PTSD as evidence that she hated them specifically. Any attempt to explain my girlfriend's behaviors was met with accusations of making excuses for her. Any time I tried to point out that it was uncool to harshly judge an autistic person for being autistic was met with great offense - how DARE I accuse them of ableism for... deciding that an autistic person being autistic was inherently rude and somehow her being autistic AT them.

When this person made it clear to me they did not like my girlfriend, I stopped talking about her much with them. But I shot myself in the foot, because I would still vent when we were having issues as I trusted and cared for this person deeply and wanted their advice/comfort, but in trying to not talk about her much that meant I did not talk about the good times and things. But then they did not want to hear about her at all because they decided they hate her and that she must hate them too - and they made that clear to her in a VILE way that she still has nightmares about. Still, I'm weak enough that I wanted to stay friends with this person, even in a limited capacity. So while our friendship was quite damaged, I stayed their friend, and just never brought up my girlfriend to them or asked them to interact.

And then came last night where they informed me that as long as I am with my girlfriend, we cannot be friends. That hurts. It is a boundary they are allowed to set, but it also came with the clear underlying statement: "You are not allowed to have anyone in your life that I don't get along with. You are only allowed to have relationships with people I like. I decide who you are allowed to date, be friends with, form relationships with."

I will not be breaking up with my girlfriend. I will not be giving in to that kind of ultimatum. And even if, in the future, we were to break up, I don't think it would be healthy to resume a relationship of any kind with this person. They expect an unprecedented level of control over my life. I won't pretend to have been a perfect friend - far from it; I have done things that seriously hurt this person before, and I regret them deeply. They, however, have outright told me before that they don't give a damn if they hurt me and won't apologize for doing so. They expect to have a level of control over who I am allowed to associate with that no one should ever have over another person. Their version of respect is that I should accommodate them wholly over everyone else in my life.

When I was speaking with my confidante, she said something that after some reflection very much seems to be true. "[They like] you best single," she said, "because then [they] can be your main focus, or your only focus. [They] don't want you to have a relationship, because then another person is just as important as [they are] in your life."

Ironically, this is something the person in question said my girlfriend wanted from me. I've long said that the reason they don't get along is because they are too similar in the wrong ways, in their negatives. They can't be wrong, they have a mean streak; apparently, the need to be the most important person in my life is one of them. But only one person has not only demanded that position, but demanded that I kick that other person out of my life. And it's not my girlfriend. In fact, knowing how important this person was to me, my girlfriend asked me if there was anything she could do to repair the damage to my relationship with this person. I told her no, because by then I was scared of trying to do anything, because it seemed anything other than breaking up with my girlfriend would be insufficient.

And it is. That is their boundary. They will not have a relationship with me while I am with my girlfriend.

And I have taken the time to think, and something has become very clear. This person has spent their entire life trying to "correct" my behavior. Scratching me until I bled as a child when I did something they didn't like, hitting me as an adult. One time I went over to their house when I felt suicidal so I could be in a safe place and not alone, and they berated me for daring to be suicidal, then took my phone away from me when I tried to call for help. Then when I left the house they called the cops on me because they were ~so scared I would kill myself~ after they all but chased me out of the house for going there for support. Called the cops on a mentally ill suicidal person, it's damn lucky I'm white because I had a knife on me at the time (not to hurt anyone, for self injuring purposes), if I were a black suicidal person in that situation with a knife - even though I was only using it on myself - do you think I'd be alive to write this right now? They've always tried to "correct" my behavior and parent me. When I was younger it involved hitting and scratching to bring me into submission. At older, take away their means of communication, then call the cops when they leave. (Yes I know they were scared for me it was still a shit thing to do and they are the one who made it a situation by berating me for daring to be suicidal as if that is something someone controls.) Now apparently, in full fledged adulthood, it looks like telling someone who they can and can't have a relationship with.

Oh and as an aside, Former friend - I do know you're reading this; it's shock and moot if you aren't. You've made it clear that when something bad happens between us you read every vent I write, even things that were supposed to be private because you were allegedly done with me, since you like stringing me along, knowing my abandonment issues will send me crawling back to you. I am weak that way and need to work on that. You know exactly who you are, and you can know I am writing this fully sober, lucid, having spoken with a specific person about this to gage what's going on, and am now venting- perhaps not in the best possible way, but in a way that will let me get my feelings out without hurting myself or someone else. There will be no "gotcha, I saw what you wrote about me, what now!" I know your version of cutting someone out of your life involves snooping to see if they vented about you and being pissy when they do, seeking some form of comfort.

[yhwhrulz]

Today's Daily Encounter Monday, June 24, 2024

A Happy Heart

Happy are the people with such blessings. Happy are the people whose God is the Lord.1

Our struggle to "have it all" usually begins with the state of our hearts. We set out to make our heart happy by chasing after what we know will make us happy— family, careers, and even religion. In the same way, many that claim to know Jesus lack the evidence of the joy that comes from an abundant life in Him.

King David's first wife, Michal, was the daughter of the former King, Saul. She had lived a privileged life and probably had everything her heart could desire, but she lacked joy. Her heart longed for something she had possibly not yet discovered. She had been raised as a child of God, knowing His Word and practicing His commandments, but she hadn't discovered her own personal relationship with God the way her husband had.

David's relationship with the Lord is evident throughout Scripture. On the day that the Ark of God (which held the tablets upon which the Ten Commandments were written) was being brought into Jerusalem, King David was overjoyed. But Michal sat, perched, high above the crowds and watched with disgust as her husband rejoiced and danced in Holy celebration. David, who openly loved the Lord with all his heart and soul could not contain his joy as he demonstrated his passion for God without shame or regret as he danced in the streets. His wife, who could not share in David's joy, disapproved of and even criticized his actions. David had seen the Lord move in many ways and had seen how the Lord had poured out his blessings time and time again, and now that the Ark of God's Covenant had been brought to his city, he could not contain himself. His wife on the other hand, wasn't willing to allow herself the freedom to enjoy God's blessings. Her heart, that had once loved David so deeply, had turned to scorn and it prevented her from receiving the Lord's blessings that came with hosting the Ark. (1 Chr. 15:29) Sadly, Michal allowed this disappointment to turn into bitterness and she missed out on the beautiful opportunity of enjoying a full and abundant life.

How often are we like Michal and allow the hurt and the disappointment from not having all we want to keep us from serving the Lord or simply finding joy in His blessings. We are called to invite God into our hearts and our homes with the same kind of dancing and rejoicing that David had; Joy that others may not understand. A truly happy heart is found only in a personal relationship with Jesus. Have you found that joy?

Suggested Prayer: Dear God, I ask that you come into my life and fill me with the unsurpassed joy that only a life in You can give. Allow my joy to spill over and touch the lives of those who are still seeking You. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Psalm 144:15 (CSB).

Today's Encounter was written by: Veronica B.

NOTE: If you would like to accept God's forgiveness for all your sins and His invitation for a full pardon Click on: http://www.actsweb.org/invitation.php. Or if you would like to re-commit your life to Jesus Christ, please click on http://www.actsweb.org/decision.php to note this.

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[hareemqportfolio]

What Would it take for iPhones to go Out of Style?

Hareem Qureshi

Written in 2017

In case you haven’t heard, Apple released a new phone. The iPhone X has been making waves in the technology world and is on Apple’s website with a price of $1,150. Regardless of the lofty price everyone and their mother is planning on buying it. According to statista.com, Apple has sold more than one billion iPhones worldwide from 2007 to 2017. I, however, never really understood the hype surrounding iPhones. I used to have an iPhone and thought it was fine, but never saw what made it so much better than other brands. Because of this, I decided I would simply conduct a survey. I interviewed various classmates and staff members, as well as family members to discover why they thought Apple was so popular.

Most of them said that it was the quality of the technology that made it so well liked.

“I think it’s very user friendly, everything is kind of natural, it’s easy to use… I think it makes life easier,” one interviewee said.

“I like the synchronization of all of their products. The fact that you’re able to do the same thing on all of their devices, pretty much,” responded another.

Others simply thought people got iPhones because everyone else did.

“People will senselessly buy it because of the brand recognition, and they don’t want to be alienated by their friends,” stated someone I talked to outside of school.  

I even remember a relative saying many guys only buy iPhones to impress girls when I brought the topic up in conversation.

There have been allegations in the past of Apple factories abusing their employees––something that not a lot of interviewees knew about when I asked them. BBC launched a secret investigation into Apple factories in China. Reporters went undercover as employees while secretly filming, and reportedly found working condition standards not being met. This is what the BBC reporters had to say about the experience.

One undercover reporter, working in a factory making parts for Apple computers, had to work eighteen days in a row despite repeated requests for a day off.

Another reporter, whose longest shift was sixteen hours, said: “Every time I got back to the dormitories, I wouldn’t want to move.”

“Even if I was hungry I wouldn’t want to get up to eat. I just wanted to lie down and rest. I was unable to sleep at night because of the stress.”

During my interviews, I decided to ask if they thought people would continue to support Apple if the way they treated their employees became commonly known. The answers tended to lean towards the cynical side, saying that people would most likely continue to support Apple, even with the knowledge of how they treat their employees.

“Honestly I think people would. I think people are selfish enough to like their luxuries in life to where the rest of the world becomes second to them,” answered one of the people I talked to.

Another stated: “I think we care more about our personal comforts then we do about other people.”

It’s easy to see where they are coming from, and they’re not wrong on how we treat people who are different from us. This is where I’d like to dive into a concept known as “groupthink.”

Psysr.org states that the term “groupthink” was invented by social psychologist Irving Janis in 1972. According to the website, groupthink is when “ a group makes faulty decisions because group pressures lead to a deterioration of “mental efficiency, reality testing, and moral judgment” (p.9). Groups affected by groupthink ignore alternatives and tend to take irrational actions that dehumanize other groups. A group is especially vulnerable to groupthink when its members are similar in background, when the group is insulated from outside opinions, and when there are no clear rules for decision making. In other words, it’s when you make decisions based on what the people around you would approve of or disapprove of, or put your group of people before other groups.  

Therefore, according to this concept, a lot of people would continue to support Apple even with the knowledge of the misconduct going on in their factories. Since they don’t know anyone who works in Apple factories, they would rather impress their friends than worry about people they’ll likely never meet.

Even so, I don’t entirely agree. I think that people in large would stop supporting Apple, it would just take some effort. The first thing that would need to happen is for the information to spread the right way. The treatment of their employees would have to be a complete scandal, rather than a story that slowly became commonly known. Let’s pretend the videos recorded by the investigators went viral. It’s all over the news, as well as the Internet. This way everyone is confronted with the information at once, and everyone is talking about it.

Once the story is out, people will want to boycott Apple. Maybe not at first, but some people would. The complicated part is figuring whether or not this hypothetical boycott would work. I think it would. A smaller scale boycott to compare this would be the boycott around the movie Exodus: Gods and Kings. The movie was set in Ancient Egypt, but had a predominantly white cast. A lot of people took issue with the whitewashing, and the hashtag #BoycottExodus was started. With all the outrage combined with people avoiding the film in droves, The movie tanked commercially and critically.

If a boycott on Apple grew large enough––and even celebrities and other public figures joined in––eventually Apple would go out of style, which is where groupthink comes back into the picture. How would you justify supporting Apple to your friends if they all suddenly disapproved of it? You’d end up switching to a new brand so that you don’t have to worry about them disliking you.

My thoughts are that people would stop supporting Apple products if it went out of style. For that to happen, someone with influence would have to stand against it first until enough people started following them.

[selormohene]

day 70 (monday, september 11th 2023)

(Finishing up early Tuesday morning; this ended up being a long and involved one)

A few months ago I read an article on the 20th century black middle class of DC in the City Journal (I think it was) by, of all people, Tucker Carlson. Now it was curious the tone he struck which, although unmistakably conservative, appears now in my memory as having been quite conciliatory and nothing like I'd expect from Tucker Carlson. There was one thing though he said that stuck with me. He said that part of what made the DC black élite a valuable presence for the DC black community as a whole was that they were snobs: they made a point of refusing to associate or be associated with the gangsters and athletes and so on, and thus by this differentiation offered a different aspirational model for the black community. Now there is of course a lot to be said about this — about placing together gangsters and athletes (again this is a summary from memory) for instance, or about the élitism which is stated frankly in those terms, as opposed to under the aspect of advocating for values which in fact happen to be those of the élite. But the point about snobbery is the one that I'd like to write about today.

The reason that article comes to mind, besides the fact that I've been reading a lot of cultural critique in this center-right vein lately, is that there was a conversation on Twitter recently about this — on discriminating in one's personal association in favour of people who are married to the people they have kids with, or not dating or being friends with "deadbeats," or whatever. Of course there has been backlash from people who say that we shouldn't negatively criticise people who are in bad structural situations especially since we're all black and we shouldn't think we're better than them, and so on and so forth. I want to talk about the first-order debate to some extent, but I'm only interested in addressing it obliquely, through the higher-level question of the causation of one's actions and social existence, and what it has to do with one's responsibility for who one is.

Consider the question of being a snob, looking down one's nose for instance at people who aren't married to the people they have kids with. Now there's the idea that as a matter of fact we shouldn't disapprove of people who aren't married to the people they have kids with, or of families which don't fit the monogamous parent model; we shouldn't see that state of affairs as less preferable than the monogamous parent model. But then there's also the question of whether, given that we do see that state of affairs as less preferable, it is fair to criticise people in that state of affairs. Because what I've heard on that front is people saying, "well you shouldn't be a snob because people are in this situation through no fault of their own, maybe they didn't realise the guy wouldn't be involved in their children's lives or they weren't in the sort of social position which would have enabled them to choose differently, or maybe no woman is in that social position which gives them genuine choice, even people who do get married and have fewer kids are also just under different constraints, the constraints of the classed woman whose pathway to success involves climbing up the capitalist ladder." This sort of argument grants that not having the father of your children involved in their life is bad, but it says even if the state of affairs is bad the people in that state of affairs are not to be blamed. The underlying idea here is that it's only fair to be a snob about things that people have genuine abilities to do something about — but it's still compatible with that idea to say that you can be a snob if the situation is such that the person in question could have chosen otherwise.

But there’s also the question of stigma: can you really say that you disapprove of certain life choices in your friends or whatever (because they can make "better" choices) while genuinely saying you don’t think less of people who have far less liberty to make those choices? In theory, of course, you can, but might not the value differential in the outcomes simply come to be associated, by psychological mechanisms which we find difficult to rein in, with the people that fall under the outcomes we value less? (Again, the Loury book was great for introducing me to this idea. I'll have to read the Goffman book.) That is how strongly can you continue hold to the view that certain such choices in a given vein are “better” or "worse" but the people who can't make those choices aren't to be assessed in such terms? It's a difficult question. In some cases of course it seems like we simply don't find it plausible to give up the differential value judgment. Recall for instance the person who argued, “poor people only have access to junk food, so junk food is good actually.” The motivation behind this sort of argument is understandable; one wants to avoid stigma, and avoiding stigmatising people in the state in question is then conflated with not negatively evaluating the state. But we should be able to notice that certain distinctions hold at least in theory, even if they are difficult to maintain in practice. Noting that structural factors constrain people’s options or ability to choose well, or change what counts as rational for them to do, isn’t the same as saying that for people who don’t have much of a choice whatever outcome results is ultimately good. It's also not the same as saying that for people who aren't as constrained we must approve of their choice whatever it may be. But then part of the problem is that it may be hard to draw a principled distinction between those who "should have chosen better" and those who "didn't have much of a choice." To restate the point I keep returning to in this entry, having (negative) judgments about the value of a state is not the same as blaming people who are in that state. But then there's the more difficult question about whether we can blame people who have chosen to be in that state and who think it’s good, which returns to the initial question of whether we should disapprove of the state in question or not to begin with.

This is, incidentally, part of a tension in liberal politics (or progressive liberalism, or "woke" politics). On the one hand, the liberal impulse wants to avoid invoking substantive value judgments: it's anti-Catholic integralism, for instance. It wants to recognise a plurality of choices of values, to let people be, to respect difference. But on the other hand, the progressive element seems to want to invoke substantive values — worker solidarity, emancipation from oppression, freedom to be who you are. These aren't just what we must settle for to avoid the risk of tyranny or bad options winning out, these are good in themselves. The problem is that when you combine these sorts of impulses, what you end up wanting to do is to celebrate difference, to affirm the choiceworthiness of the different choices that people make. Now in the abstract celebrating difference isn't necessarily a bad thing, nor is affirming different people choosing different things. Life isn't one-size-fits-all and the true is the whole. Even Hegel the centrist Prussian statist knew that. But the problem comes when one finds oneself perhaps having to affirm apparently contradictory values, or to disapprove of values but approve of their affirmation by others, or to hide one's hand when it comes to disapproval of certain values.

(So there was for instance a case where a Muslim contingent in a certain town didn't want Pride flags flying on government buildings. But both the LGBTQ people and Muslims would count as groups which are to be celebrated in their diversity. What to do in this situation? It seems like one solution which is proposed is to argue that ultimately all the diverse groups are compatible, that Islam is actually progressive on issues of sexuality, which ends up pleasing nobody partly because part of what defines some of these ideologies is that they are in opposition to others; some LGBTQ people don't want their values to have to be compatible with a given religion in order to be accepted or celebrated, and some religious people don't want their values to have to be compatible with a given ideology concerning sex and sexuality in order to be celebrated and accepted.)

Anyway, back to the question of blame and agency. One doesn’t want to take the condescending attitude that poor people or structurally oppressed people are just pawns of the system without any agency, especially if one lives one's own life as though one can make better or worse decisions even under constraint. To say "oh poor you, it's not your fault, don't feel bad" and then, sotto voce, "couldn't be me though," is in itself rather patronising, and a symptom of the same classism that is levelled as an accusation at people who say “people in bad social situations should do better” (and to be clear some of those people are indeed classist). And yet one doesn't want to blame those people for having chosen what one thinks was the "worse" thing to do. The problem is that treating people as having agency is a way of respecting their personhood, and yet recognising agency and imparting blame are two uneasy sides of the same coin. Perhaps this is why the Marxist view that we must prescind from moral assessment and focus on structural change has something to recommend it. But then the question remains: can we really so prescind? In the medium term, at the interpersonal level, as opposed to in the long term and at the structural level, what is to be done?

This entire discussion brings me to another topic. Obviously I've been going over different views concerning social problems which hold that they can be addressed, although they disagree on the practical and moral value of attempting to address them in various ways. But there are of course people who subscribe to the view that various social problems can't be changed. Educational disparities can't be improved, poverty can't be alleviated, crime can't be reduced, etc. The arguments are often based on two things: (1) we've tried everything we can think of and it didn't happen, or (2) the science shows that it's not possible, some people are just going to be at the bottom of society forever. The curious thing about this scientistic attitude to questions of human behaviour is that it parallels an anti-scientific approach to the natural world, namely mysterianism about certain objects and/or fields of inquiry. It seems like saying some people who are in a bad situation can’t be helped because of science is similar to saying some things about the world can’t be known because of metaphysics. (And what passes for science in these discussions of social issues is rarely any better than dogmatic metaphysics.) And what's interesting is that, in either case, it’s not obviously impossible that such a thing might be true, yet in either case the correct response is nonetheless “not with that attitude.” We must assume that the world is knowable, and the world will reward that assumption; we must assume that society can be improved and society will (hopefully) reward that assumption.

I say hopefully because perhaps social change is harder and murkier than science; it could be argued that the success of science is proof of the underlying fact that the world is intrinsically knowable whereas the difficulty of social improvement is proof of the underlying fact that society isn’t inherently malleable. But actually it may just be that we’re doing the wrong things. I want to argue that actually we say science is successful but that's just us focusing on the success cases and papering over the hard stuff, with a little help from our belief in the intrinsic knowability of the world, which in its extreme forms can take the form of the absolute idealism of the analytic Hegelians — including, apparently, Tim Williamson! — which states that to be is to be thinkable or knowable. Then again though it seems like we're not at similar liberty to decide whether or not society can be improved by focusing on the success stories because the question we're interested in isn't "have some outcomes been improved" but "have we been able to improve the particular outcomes we want to improve." But that's also a case where we're being helped by our prior belief in the immutability of society. I'll have to think more about this.

[roscgcld]

ZEN’IN NAOYA || husband’s duty

request: omg if it is okay can i ask for a part 2 of sweet little things 🥲

note: you definitely can, love! honestly this definitely cracked my head a little since we didn’t get to explore naoya too much as a character, underneath all that complexity that makes him up as the man we saw in the manga. But I am not gonna sit here and say I do not simp for him AHAHAHA - that would be a huge lie. But we shall see, no? I feel like I made him too soft though, but I live for soft!Naoya - so do not touch me T^T 

part one

warning: suggestive scene throughout, but nothing happens really. just naoya being an ass lol

pronouns: she/her

A content sigh left Naoya’s lips as he leans back into the warm water of the bath, his eyes slowly sliding shut at the warmth that surrounds him. Today has been a long day on the office - with back to back meetings and piles of paperwork on his desk, he was just ready to land into his bed face first and sleep the evening away. 

“What do you want for your onigiri filling tomorrow? The farmers that produce that special rice you like sent a bag of rice to us earlier today.”

Your soft and sweet voice was what broke him out of his tranquil trance, yet he doesn’t find himself getting angry. Instead he hummed as he leans towards the direction of your voice, seeming to melt further in the steaming water when your soft hands immediately rest themselves against his broad shoulders. Fingers immediately getting to work on the knots that had started to build up since the afternoon. “Hmm...unagi filling sounds good.”

“I’ll make some for your bento tomorrow then,” You reassured him with a warm smile as you started to work through the knots on his shoulders, making sure to not accidentally dig your short but well kept nails into his skin. Whilst Naoya enjoys leaving marks of ownership all over your person, he does not appreciate having any scars left on his skin. And although he does not voice his disapproval, you know your husband well enough to know that unless he is in the mood, you should be careful about things like your nails scratching his skin. 

The idea of you making one of his favourite dishes for him, knowing that he has to deal with more paperwork and calls tomorrow has him smiling softly in response. He would not voice out how your little actions causes his usually cold heart to skip a beat; instead he just leans back a little when he heard you collecting some water from the tub with the wooden shower pale. Relishing in the feeling of the water being poured over his two-toned hair, along with your soft fingers gently running through the strands. 

Many people feel bad for you, since everyone knows what kind of man Naoya is. Everyone knows that he is nothing more but a skirt chaser, a man who views women as nothing an accessory to hang off his arm. Whose purpose is to provide strong heirs, and nothing more. You knew of the man even before you met him the first time on your family estate - listening to your older sister rant about how much of a myogenetic, rude, and disgusting excuse of a man Zen’In Naoya is. You’ve heard of the whispers from the other women whenever you would join a jujutsu event where the Zen’Ins would be in attendance. You knew that the moment both your fathers shook hands after Naoya shows great interest in you, your future was sealed to be with a man who seems to be every woman’s living nightmare.

And yet, for the last 4 months of marriage life, things have been...pleasant.

Naoya knew from the moment that he spoke to you that he needed to act ‘softer’ in order to gain your trust. That he cannot be his full self around you for at least the first month of your marriage in order to make him trust you; or until his patience runs thin from acting. 

However, even though he has promised himself that he will drop the act after the first month; here he is, 4 months into your new marriage. Still finding it almost natural for him to act softer and more...kinder around you. Maybe it is because he finds your personality just so soft and welcoming that it just...felt right to treat you differently. Maybe he is just trying to reason to himself that as his wife, you should be treated differently from the common folk outside of your private home; after all, as long as he keeps you happy, he can get away with pretty much anything. 

And yet...he has yet to find it in him to actually act like his usual self around you. Almost as if he was afraid of scaring you, or fearing that you’re scared of him. It’s laughable - how a man who was so self centered and only cared about himself and no one else, seemed to be so worried about what his wife thinks about him. He had reasoned to him that this is normal; that any husband would want their wife to fear them. 

But just...it was odd to him. How he chooses to act differently around you, and not feel like he is forced in any way.

His opened his eyes to take a peak at you when his thoughts start to wonder, scanning over your concentrated features as you carefully worked the shampoo through his hair. Somehow just seeing you so focused on making sure that he was enjoying his bath had his heart skipping a beat; something that would have scared him if it were to happen with anyone else. 

Yet, instead he found himself letting a small but genuine smile tug against the corners of his lips, one that immediately catches your attention as you carefully wash the studs from his hair. “What got you so happy, my love?,” You asked him curiously as you carefully ran your fingers through his hair, making sure that all the studs were gone. Instead of answering he just reached his hand up to grab your wrist in his gently, pressing a soft kiss against the inside of your wrist. 

Naoya isn’t a man to convey his emotions often. He doesn’t necessarily view emotions as weak; he just sees no reason to show others around him how he feels unless it brings him some form of advantage. Other then that, he just puts up an arrogant and unbothered front for the most part. But with you...well, you were different. You are his wife, and in order to be a good husband, he needs to show you that he is willing to show you what is underneath his mask. Or so, he thinks that is what he needs to do. 

The feeling of Naoya’s lips against your skin send a set of shivers down your spine, your eyes shyly glancing away from his handsome face as you felt the tips of your ears warm up. Just seeing how bashful you were about something as small as showing you emotion had him smirking against your wrist, immediately wanting to see just how far he can push his luck. 

And he knows exactly what to do. “Get in the bath with me.”

You immediately snapped your shocked eyes back at your husband in shock, immediately feeling your cheeks warm at how he was staring at you expectantly. Although you’ve seen each other naked before, with him being so obsessed of having an heir of his own - it would be a surprise if you haven’t see him naked in all his glory. It wasn’t like he was bad to look at either - from all the training puts himself through to perfect his Technique, you would be lying to say that you’ve never stared at his strong back or broad shoulders whenever you two are alone. 

It was just...so sudden. And you immediately knew what his intensions were, yet you just pouted softly as you quietly pulled yourself up from the steps you were seated on. Just seeing the soft pout tugging against the corner of your lips had Naoya biting back a smile as he watches you strip from your kimono, carefully folding the expensive fabrics to the side. 

Soon you carefully made your way up the wooden steps of the traditional bathtub, thanking your husband quietly as he held a hand out to help you into the tub. You awkwardly knelt down between Naoya’s knees, still a little nervous to touch him even though he was the one who invited you into the bath with him. Naoya found your fear quite amusing, and without missing a beat he grabbed your hand in his before he pulls you close; chuckling at the squeak you let out when you landed against his bare chest. 

“Don’t need to be so scared, my wife,” Naoya mumbles with a smirk, hands trailing down your soft back to relish the goosebumps that appear on your skin; his eyes glancing away from your shocked face to your fists resting against his chest.  “After all...if there is one person worthy enough to be by my side, it will be you,” He mumbles, hands that seem even warmer than the water surrounding you two resting on the small of your back.

A combination from his soft touches, to his overly sweet but frank words had your face burning up once more as you whine and bury your face into his neck, your actions causing Naoya to let out a soft but genuine peel of laughter come from his chest. “Did I startle you?,” Naoya asks in amusement, already knowing the answer to that question. Yet he wanted for you to answer the question yourself, since he lives for seeing you getting embarrassed over the smallest of interactions with him.

You fluttered your eyes close to try and calm you rapid heartbeat, yet you nodded your head gently to answer his question. “A-A little..,” You mumble back quietly against his skin, heart skipping a beat a little at Naoya’s soft chuckle that he breathed against the shell of your ear. Naoya did not want to admit it, but he finds this subconsciously clingy side of you quite endearing. Whilst he hates it when others touch him, even if they grazed him by accident; he does not mind it when it’s you.

Maybe he has gone a little insane after marriage. 

After you’ve managed to gather your wits, you quietly pulled away from him before you reached back to grab the wash towel you had grabbed from earlier, Naoya curiously opened one of hi eyes when you shifted against his chest. Just having you pressed up against his chest, along with the warm water surrounding him had lulled him into a tranquil and sleepy state. But he didn’t stop you as you wet the wash towel before you carefully lathered his body wash into the fabric. 

Quietly you started to wash his body like you would usually every night, yet this time it was a little different since now you were in the bath with him. Something that he has never really allowed before, since he views his bath time as his personal time. You would usually help him bathe before you leave the bathroom to prepare for bed and whatever wifely duties you need to fulfil for the night. 

But if you were being honest, as you carefully washed your husband clean, you did not mind a change to your routine. Yet you did not voice your inner thoughts as you continue gliding your hands over Naoya’s arms, making sure to keep quiet to give him the silence he enjoys whenever he’s in the bath. However, Naoya was in the mood to talk today. 

Whilst you were carefully washing his chest, Naoya’s hands started to wander along your body once more once more. “So, what did you get up today whilst your husband was out at work?”

You blinked up at your husband curiously, to which he just raised an eyebrow in response at the look you threw his way. “Can a husband not know what his wife gets up to when he slaves away at his desk?,” Naoya asks with a soft raise of his brow, his words causing you to widen your eyes as you shake your head immediately. Not wanting him to think that you’re questioning his authority. “O-Of course not! I-I just...thought...you’d like some quiet in your alone time..”

A soft sigh was your only response, to which you awkwardly looked away from your husband’s eyes to stare at his hard chest; worried that you’ve angered the man. “You know...I want to hear about your day too,” Naoya mumbles after a few tensed seconds of silence, a finger gently crocking under your chin to coax your eyes to look up at him. He did not have a smile on his serious face, yet there was a soft look shining in his usually hard eyes. “I get curious sometimes when I have time to breath...what does my beautiful wife do at home when I am away? Does she miss me? Does she take the free time she gets to pretend that she is not my wife? What could you be possibly be doing when I am away from home..?”

When you heard his words, you tilted your head softly as you scanned his face, trying to understand the meaning behind his message. He wasn’t dumb - he was more than aware of the whispers of the maids that thought he was not around, how people feel bad for you that you are married to a man like him. He honestly doesn’t care what others have to say about him - he never cared about what others have to say about him. Because he knows that when they need power or need something to get done, they will always turn to him with fake smiles and praise dripping from their tongues.

However, he was genuinely worried about you - he was worried that the whispers of his past will start to scare you away. Make you think that you are an idiot for marrying a man like him, and slowly but surely take you away from him. For once he was worried that you are going to leave him, because for once in his life, he finally understand what it truly means to be home. The very thought of you leaving him shakes him down to his very core, and he will do everything in his power to prevent that from becoming his reality.

“I don’t...think like that, you know.”

Your soft voice snapped his train of thought as he glances back into your eyes, blinking when your soft hands rest against his cheeks gently with a soft smile gracing your features. “I knew the type of man you were before you came to my family estate that day, and I have heard of all the rumours of your attitude even whilst you were courting me. But that didn’t change my decision because I genuinely enjoyed having you around.”

Your words had Naoya widening his eyes as his mind went blank at your confession. And seeing your usually stoic and arrogant husband looking stunned had you giggling as your thumbs started to stroke at his high cheekbones. “Yes, you may be a little colder and stricter then I am used to, but you are still a good man. You’ve been nothing but a good husband to me, and far from the rumours paint you to be. So don’t worry too much about my thoughts on our marriage, because I am nothing but happy to be your wife.”

Quietly you gently tugged his face close, resting his forehead against yours with a smile. “I know that you grew up in a different world from I did, and that you were brought up with different morals from mine. But I also know you’re trying for me, and that is more than enough for me at the end of the day.” You mumble softly, revealing to him that you were more observant than you let on. Yet you faked ignorance for his sake because you genuinely cared for him as a person. “Because at the end of the day, a wife is knows all of her husband’s sides the best.”

For once Naoya was completely stunned into silence, having never expected for you to be so candid about your feelings. Your response to his stunned silence was a quiet giggle as you lean forward to press a soft kiss against the tip of his nose. The feeling of your warm and soft lips snapped him back into reality, and upon realising how close you were, his pale cheeks flushed up from embarrassment. Immediately one of his hands pulled itself away from where they were resting against your bare hips to cover his cheeks with the back of his hand, eyes darting away as he leans away from you immediately.

“I-I want to get out of the bath now...”

You let out a giggle at the sight of your husband so out of character, yet you made no other comment as you nodded with a smile. “Lets get ready for bed then, my love,” You hummed out as you carefully got out to grab the towels for the both of you, biting back your smile at how cute you find him to be as you dried yourself before you did the same for him. 

It was only later into the night, long after you’ve fallen asleep when Naoya really calmed down. You had long fallen asleep, face tucked away underneath his chin whilst your arms wrapped around him loosely. He knows he needed to sleep in order to function properly tomorrow, but his mind has been racing the moment you two got out of the bath to prepare for bed together.

He still cannot wrap his head around the idea that you willingly stay, even knowing that there is a chance you might see a less ideal version of himself. You choose to stay knowing all of the rumours about him and his, admittedly, horrendous behaviour and morals. And whilst he does not know what was it that he did that had you landing in his life, he is 100% sure he will never let you go.

Quietly he presses a soft kiss against the top of your head, a soft but content sigh leaving his lips as he closes his eyes to try and get some sleep before his alarm would go off later. Signaling to a start of another long and boring day away from you once more. 

“You’re the best thing that has happened to me,” He mumbles softly into the quiet bedroom, a soft admission to you whilst you’re far away in dreamland, dreaming of things unknown to him. But the least he can pray for is that he wouldn’t become the enemy in your nightmares.

Because at the end of the day, it’s a husband’s duty to protect the happiness of their wife from the evils of the world. Even if the biggest evil in their lives is themselves. As long as he is your husband, you will have nothing to fear.

He will make sure of it.

© roscgcld — all rights reserved to me, rose, the author and creator of these works. do not repost/translate/claim my work as yours on any platform.

[stargazer-balladeer]

Setting: Kingdom AU

[King! Zhongli x Female! Reader]

Notes: At first, I didn’t know what to write for the Valentine’s Gift in Discord. I was about to just write a Diluc fic when I came across the Cendrillon video. I rewatch it and loved the idea. Zhongli fits the prince (im making him a king here-) perfectly, this is going to follow the Vocaloid Cendrillon version (because the actual Cendrillon is basically the Cinderella movie-), but I’m gonna tweak it a bit. I hope I manage to capture Zhongli’s personality, atleast a little- 😅. Hope ya’ll like this!

Warning: small mentions of being blackmailed, abandonment and blood.

Word Count: 4.7k

» A valentine gift for @zhonglisemptywallet,, I hope you like this- hshshs

“Say, Zhongli, do you know the story of “Cendrillon”?” “Hm… it doesn’t ring a bell, I’m afraid. May I ask why you ask of that?” “I used to read it when I was young. Since you don’t know of it, would you like to read it together? Or are you currently busy?” “I was about to ask you if you want to have tea with me, but since you suggested that, of course I would read it together with you.” 

The warm hue of the light that illuminated the room and the chatter of the people within greeted you immediately when you stepped foot inside. Your eyes darted from person to person, not familiar with any of them. The target isn’t anywhere in the vicinity it seems, perhaps later. The warm atmosphere made you sigh in relief, it was a great contrast to the coldness of night outside. Not wanting to be of disturbance to those entering, you quickly went away from the entrance. You were overwhelmed by the grand interior of the room, walls decorated with golden brown and amber designs, one you usually find in an antique item, waves, vines, flowers, all sort of design. Golden-colored chandeliers hanging in the ceiling in a row, making the room brighter. The golden curtain being tied to the side, revealing the full moon in its finest glory. 

The palace king really likes golden-colored stuff, you noted. Everything looks so ancient, like there’s a history in every design and every item inside. Glancing around, you adjusted your dress, making sure your dagger isn’t visible underneath your skirt. An assassin tasked to kill the king of the Liyue nation. A joke, you thought at first, a child’s play. This task is usually seen in a fairytale, but you suppose it’s inevitable when you have 7 kingdoms, each with their respective king and queens. Breathing out a sigh, you take a glance at the moon. Your task is due at midnight, when the moon is high above the skies. Precise exact hour, no seconds shall pass. If failed, execution shall be your punishment. 

Then a ring rang through the room, gaining many’s attention including yours. You gaze at the balcony-like booths on the second floor, seeing familiar faces of the members of the Qixing. Them being here isn’t gonna make your mission any easier, well, it wasn’t easy to begin with. Quickly switching your attention to the butler, making sure your actions aren’t suspicious. “We thank you for attending this royal ball, hosted by our beloved King. I shall now introduce you to the special guests tonight.” The butler’s voice rang, sounding young yet stern. He nodded to the area of the Qixing members. “Please allow me to introduce Lady Ningguang of the Qixing, miss Keqing of the Qixing and Miss Ganyu of the Qixing.” 

Many people started clapping for them, you decided to join in them in order to not appear suspicious. Ningguang, in her fullest glory, stood up and waved elegantly to the people below her. Her eyes, which reminded you of Rubies, scanned the crowd before befalling on you. You stiffened at the coldness within, was her eyes always this harsh? You thought she was about to call you out but she simply turned around and sat on the throne-like chair. You breathe out a sigh of relief, closing your eyes when you feel the tension on your shoulder being released. But you knew that her gaze on you was a warning. She knew your intention, she could’ve called you out right there but she didn’t. Why? Was she amused that there was an assassin in the ball, wanting to kill the king? It doesn’t make sense.

You tuned out the butler, who was introducing the four Adepti, the counsel of the king. You couldn’t care less about them, but you were still on guard. Although they all respect their king and would kill anyone who dares to threaten his life, the young-looking guy is the one you’re watching out for. The young adepti, Xiao was his name, Conqueror of Demons, swift like the wind. “Now..” Your ears pick up as you look at the butler once more. “The moment you all have been waiting for. May I introduce the host of this evening, please applaud to the king of Liyue, Rex Lapis!” 

And just like that, an applaud of cheers erupted into the room when the king was announced. You joined in with the claps, feeling nervousness rising within you. Now’s not the time to get nervous. This is an important mission. You shall not fail this one. The light in your eyes darkened when the king made an appearance, there in his crowning light was Rex Lapis. With eyes like the Cor Lapis, hair like the soil of the land, and clothes fitting for a ruler. He has a small smile present on his face, as he nodded to the crowd. “Thank you for coming to my ball on this humble night. Please enjoy yourselves to the fullest with the prepared banquet and dance.” His voice is so soothing…

He reached out his hand, snapping his index and thumb. “Let the feast begin.” 

“What?” You breathed out, staring at the man before you with eyes wide and face in disbelief. Not knowing whether to laugh or what. The mission you’re given, to kill the king of Liyue, Rex Lapis. How absurd. “You expect me to kill that wanna-be king?” You scoffed, letting out a few chuckles. You thought it was a prank, a funny joke, and that your superior was made to do by one of his subordinates. You bet your money that it was that “Childe”. You tried searching his face, any sign of him lying or joking, but there wasn’t. He was serious. 

Coughing lightly, you straightened yourself up again, staring at the eyes of your superior. He sighed before placing a document on his desk, facing you, with a dagger on top. “You should be grateful that the Tsaritsa decided to give you this task, if I were to choose, I’d choose someone else. But alas, she chose you. How unfortunate.” He scoffed, shaking his head in disapproval. You paid his indirect insult no mind as you stared at the dagger, which you noticed was laced with poison. The dagger was silver in color, with the hilt decorated with light blue and white snowflakes. The end contains a Cor Lapis gem. 

Hesitantly, your hand rose to reach the dagger. You can feel the sharp eyes of your superior on you, taking note of your shaky hands and hesitated moves. When you finally grasp the well-designed dagger, your superior’s voice rang through the room once more.

“Do not fail this mission.”

How are you going to approach this exactly? You felt your sweat drop when you realized you didn’t prepare a plan on how to kill the king. Which is pretty dumb, now that your thinking about it. Like, what did you expect to happen? You going up to him and just stab him? Before your dagger could hit the king, your head is already on the ground. You groaned in frustration, leaning back on the white-colored pillar. Great, now you're stuck. You sighed, rubbing the nape of your neck, as you gaze at the scenery before you. 

Gazing at the people dancing, you couldn’t help but feel the green of envy rising within you. Unlike you, they have the best life. Once living in the slums of Snezhnaya, many times almost freezing to death. One of those times is when you met the queen of the frozen land, the Tsaritsa. Many wondered why she took you in, a girl abandoned in the streets. From her patience and pitied love for you, she took you in and made you a member of the organization known as the “Fatui”. Trained under a strict teacher, you grew up to be an assassin. An assassin whose hands are stained with the blood of the victims you killed for the Tsaritsa herself. 

“Excuse me.” A voice so silk, maturity evident in it, one that you heard earlier. You look up from your gaze at the ground to meet the eyes like the sun. From the distance, you didn’t notice how his white iris looks sharp, but now upon closer inspection, you can see it clearly. He gave you a soft smile, moving his hand from behind his back and extended it to you. You stared at it, confusion dancing in your eyes before gazing at the man you were destined to kill. “Would you care for a dance with me?” He said, amusement clear in his eyes. You felt your cheeks warmed up at your obliviousness. “Uhm… sure.” You said in a low voice, placing your hand on his. Despite the gloves you two are wearing, you can feel the warmth radiating from within. 

Feeling albeit awkward, obvious tension in the air, he guided you to the dance floor, hand firmly yet gently grasping yours. You weren’t sure if he noticed the air of tension surrounding you two or if he was simply ignoring it. Twirling you around a little bit, he stops your mini twirl by placing his large hand on your waist. You, knowing the dance steps ever since you had to undercover in a masquerade party, placed your hand on his shoulder and took a step back, him following suit by stepping forward. A dance with the king of Liyue, what a cliche moment. You can feel his eyes on you, feeling embarrassed about his obvious staring at you (and the stares you were getting around you), you continued staring at the amulet on his chest. 

“You know, when dancing, one must look at the eyes of their partner. Not at their chest.” The king said in a low voice, chuckling a little. How is he amused at this situation? The king is really a strange person. Flushing in embarrassment for getting called out, you look up to meet his expectant gaze. Seeing his lips quirking up as your gaze met his, he tilted his head slightly as he spun you around in tune with the others and held you close when you faced him once more. “Tell me, where do you hail from? I don’t think I’ve ever seen your face before.” You knew that this was coming, so you rehearsed your answer while going here. “I came from Inazuma, being sent here by my father, Chief Haruki. I came as a replacement for him, he humbly apologizes that he cannot be here at the ball tonight.” It wasn’t technically a lie, chief Haruki was indeed a real person living in Inazuma and was secretly working for the Fatui. 

You noticed how his eyes narrowed slightly, yet his entire face still remains unchanged. Closing his eyes while sighing softly. “I see.” You stared at him a couple of minutes before opening your mouth. “The people around us.. They’re not all nobles, are they?” Asking softly, only reserved to the two of you. His eyes scanning the people around you two before leaning in your ear, his hot breath near your ear made shivers run down your spine. “Quite an eye you have, my dear. But nevertheless, you are correct. Some of them are the orphans I’ve taken in under my wing.” You let out a chuckle. “How noble of you, your highness.” “Call me Morax instead.” Leaning back, he lets go of your waist as he clasps his gloved-hands on yours, dragging you gently. 

You raised a brow at this. “And where do you think you are taking me, Mr. Morax? I have no intention of doing any frisky rendezvous with you.” You can hear him laughing in front of you, turning his head to the side to glance at you. “Rest assured, my dear. I have no intention to take you to bed. I just thought a fresh air is what we need.” He explained, chuckling at the end before facing forward again. Flushing a bit at his laughter, you pouted while glaring at him. “You could’ve just told me that.” You mumbled angrily. He simply ignored your complaints, using his free hand to push open a door leading to a garden. 

You marveled at the sight of it, it was beautifully decorated with glaze lilies and silk flowers. Adding to the beauty were neon-orange-colored butterflies flying around. While you were in awe at your surroundings, you didn’t notice the fond look that the king was giving to you. He lets go of your hand as he steps forward into the enchanting garden. Missing already his large hand against yours, you followed suit, resisting the urge to hold his hand once more. “What a beautiful garden.” “Thank you for your kind words.” He slightly leaned forward to hold a glaze lily in his hand. “Did you know that glaze lilies only reveal their beauty at the sound of music? A pure song, one that used to belong to someone who loved this flower more than any other.” He said, on his face is a gentle smile, yet you noted how sad it seems. 

His eyes and smile so captivating and warm, yet hiding so many secrets. It made you want to know more about the man in front of you, not as the ruler Rex Lapis but as Morax. You stayed silent as you gaze at the flower in his hand. “They used to be everywhere in Liyue, but now… there are hardly any of them left. They are now rare and almost to the brink of being extinct.” He said, not hiding or masking the sadness in his voice as he lets go of the flower. Straightening his back again, turning to look at you, smiling apologetically at you. “Apologies. It seems like I went into my infamous rants.” Morax said, bowing his head slightly. 

You shake your head, smiling in return. “It’s fine. Your voice is oddly.. soothing.” He chuckles at your comment. “Indeed. I have gotten comments about my voice being soothing to hear.” “That’s why I shall suggest that you continue your rant. I can see it in your eyes that you have much more you want to share.” You chuckled. His eyes widened a bit, surprised that you manage to see through him before shaking his head slightly while huffing in amusement. “You are an interesting girl, my dear.”

“Why should I have a ball to begin with?” The question left Rex Lapis’ lips before he could stop them, making every head within the room turn their heads to the king. He doesn’t need to host a ball when there is no special occasion to celebrate as. “Rex Lapis, you must understand that the nation needs two rulers. A king and a queen. It would not only be beneficial for the people, but for you as well.” Ningguang explained, spinning her smoking pipe around her fingers, her gaze sharp as ever. Her red eyes staring at Rex Lapis’ face, curious at what his reaction would be. Rex Lapis only sighed. “I see..”

Closing his eyes as he stands up from his chair, opening his eyes to look at his fellow Adepti and the people in the Qixing. “I think this meeting is over. I shall take my leave now. Good day to you all.” Without any wait for a reply, he quickly left the room. When the door closed behind him, he sighed deeply as he started walking to his sanctuary, the garden. The garden that used to belong to his previous wife, the previous queen of Liyue. Opening the doors, he smiled at the beauty of the garden. It was as if she never left. 

He sat down on a nearby bench, gazing fondly at the geo-Crystalfly, only landing beside him. He gazes at it before sighing once more, running a hand through his hair, messing up his front hair slightly. “‘A new queen’ they said. ‘Beneficial for both the people of Liyue and me’ she said. I don’t understand mortals at all.” Rex Lapis tried to understand the minds of his people, but he still can’t grasp how extreme their minds can be sometimes. And this makes Rex Lapis more intrigued with them even more. The growing desire inside him continues to grow each passing day. Since when did this desire to be one of the mortals began? Was it when his late wife used to speak so fondly of them? He’s not sure but a thought kept lingering at the back of his mind, his attention shifting from the butterfly to the silhouette of Liyue Harbor in the distance. 

Should he leave the crown for good now?

He gazes at the blue-colored sky above, silver linings around the clouds as they form various shapes. “... not yet.” He whispers to himself. “It’s not yet the right time.”

Your laughter breaking the silence of the night as Rex Lapis finished telling a tale. It seemed like his knowledge about many things concerning Liyue is unending, you didn’t mind listening to him ranting about how the Guhua Plains came to be, how the rocks formed in various places in Liyue, and so on. A blush dust your cheeks as you stared at Rex Lapis who was about to tell a story yet again. Suddenly a sudden gush of cold wind blew your way, making you visibly shiver, cursing in your head for not wearing something suitable for the cold. You blink when you felt something placed on your shoulder, looking up, you noticed that Rex Lapis wasn’t anymore wearing his coat. Connecting the dots, and looking at your shoulders, you felt your face become more warm when you realized he noticed you shivering and gave you his fancy coat. “T-Thanks..” You mumbled, clutching his coat tightly while giving him a shy smile. “It is only right for me to share my coat when I was the one who dragged you out in this freezing evening, no?” He chuckles as he picks up where he left off in his tale. 

You stared at his back, now noticing how well-built he is from behind. You tried your hardest to not stare at his lower area, it is sacrilegious afterall. You let out a loving sigh, but that made your eyes widened in horror. Deep inside you, you felt something unknown yet so familiar. It was welcoming and warm. Heart thumping widely in your chest, the warm feeling spreading, the warm smile and that sigh just now. Realization struck you hard, making you even more scared than before. The horrifying truth you’ve concluded when adding all of your symptoms. You were falling in love with him. 

Rex Lapis noticed that you stopped walking judging from the lack of footsteps behind him, his words trailing off as he turned around to see what was wrong only to be surprised at tears falling from your wide eyes. “Are you alright, love? Why are you crying? Did I say something that made you cry? If I did so, I apologize sincerely.” He was panicking. It was evident in his voice that he’s panicking as he walks to you and wipe away the tears flowing with his thumb. Worry etched his face as he gazed at your [E/C] eyes. You continued to sob, not anymore needing to hide the tears. Why? Why did you have to fall in love with someone you were meant to kill?

What made you even more surprised, and made your poor heart jump, is when Rex Lapis leaned in and kissed your eyes. “Shh.. Don’t cry. Tears don't suit your beauty afterall.” You felt your face heat up at his action, wanting to shy away from him but at the same time, wanting more of his gentle touch and lips. You sniffed as his hands wiped away your leftover tears. Looking at him, you were met with his gentle and reassuring gaze. A smile that says everything would be alright. Lies. You inhaled sharply as your eyes travelled from his face to the clock, conveniently placed, behind him. It was almost midnight. His death is almost due. 

Please don’t let the bells sound for midnight. Please no. 

But you knew you needed to. Despite the limited time you two have, he was able to give you unforgettable memories that you’ll forever cherish with all your heart. Who knew you were into this kind of cheesiness? Childe would always tease you about being secretly cheesy, it seems like he’s right about this one. “... Are you alright, love? Is there something still wrong?” Your gaze shifted back to Morax, who was looking at you with great concern. You take a deep breath. It’s now or never.

You gave him a smile, a smile holding regret and love for the king. Even if your feelings were mutual, it would still remain unrequited as you take his life. “Thank you for this night, my king. This has been a wonderful evening indeed.” Rex Lapis stared at you with a blank face, his smile that you were used to seeing isn’t anymore visible in his face. It was replaced by a hard and stoic face. Deafening silence surrounds you both in this chilly evening, the silence making you shift slightly. After what seems like forever, he opens his mouth to speak. “You sound like you’re saying farewell. The ball hasn’t reached its conclusion yet.” You can feel tears starting to build in your eyes again as you forced them back. “I’m really sorry.”

Before he could make a comment about your apology, you grab your dagger and try to stab him through the chest but thanks to his fast reflexes, he was able to dodge at the last minute. Your dagger grazing at his clothes slightly. His eyes wide, maybe he was surprised at your betrayal? Was he furious? Would he call for the guards now? You cannot hesitate, not now. Not when you’re so close in fulfilling your mission. You went for the kill again, and without missing a beat, he dodge, catching your hand in the process. “Stop this, my love.” He whispered in your ear. You inhaled sharply, feeling your heart fluttering from the closeness, but you shouldn’t let this feeling of yours get in the way of finishing the king. 

Summoning a dagger made out of water, using your ‘delusion’, on your other hand, you strike him with it. Rex Lapis eyes widened as he tried to dodge your incoming second dagger by jumping back, but he wasn’t fast enough as it stabbed him in the side. He groans, placing his hand on the wound. The blood was staining his shirt as he clicked his tongue. You huffed, breathing in and out before opening your eyes, clouded with bloodlust and nothingness. It was glowing beneath your bangs. “Target spotted. Killing target now.” Your voice resembles a robot, a mindless slave. 

His eyes saddened at the thought of what you have been through to be like this. He knew you were after his life, Xiao and his fellow Adepti warned him about this. But he was intrigued by you the moment he laid his eyes on your lonesome figure. Even though you tried to hide it, he noticed how your eyes shone with awe as you gaze at the ornaments decorated the room. Cute, that was his thought. A childish girl behind the cold facade. Interesting. He knew you were part of the ‘Fatui’. He knew that you were ordered to kill him before midnight. He knew and yet he didn’t care. The possibility of dying in your hands still lingers at the back of his mind, yet he can’t help but get drawn to you. You were special in his eyes. A glaze lily, so rare and beautiful. 

You could even say he was falling in love with you with each passing second he spent with you.

Rex Lapis lets out a chuckle at the thought of his fellow Adepti reprimanding him for falling for you, but he can’t do anything about it. A heart wants what a heart wants, he knew that perfectly. And from his foolish love for you, he allowed you to strike him in the chest, piercing the amulet in the process. Your eyes widened at what you did, not believing what you had just seen. Why didn’t he move? He could perfectly dodge it like he did earlier so why? While your mind is in a frenzy, he allowed himself to hug you in his chest as he bled out. 

“W-Why-? Why didn’t.. you dodge?” You whispered in pure disbelief. He chuckles, running his hand through your hair, destroying its style earlier. “Who knows..? Even I am wondering that.” Feeling himself weakening, he pulls himself away from you as he gaze tenderly in your wide, frightened eyes. He smiles gently, moving closer to kiss your forehead. “You should probably get going, my love.. You wouldn’t want to get caught by the Millelith now.” He whispered. You didn’t say anything as you pulled away from his hold. Looking at his eyes as he nodded his head, urging you to go. Without saying anything, you run away. Stumbling a bit with your heels, you felt it slipping from your feet but you could care less about it as you continued to run, leaving the shoe behind. 

Watching as your figure disappeared from view, he placed a hand over his wound, feeling himself healing from his wounds. He knew he wouldn’t just die from a simple stab. What he didn’t account for is that the dagger you used is laced with poison, making him weak, to the point he has to sit on the ground. Huffing and puffing his eyes landed on the forgotten glass slipper, chuckling a bit. “Maybe.. It is truly time to depart.” 

“Eh? What do you mean Rex Lapis disappeared?!” 

“Calm yourself, Keqing. There must be an explanation for this, I presume?”

“We don’t know, lady Ningguang. We tried searching for his highness everywhere but he can’t be found. But there was blood in the garden along with a glass slipper.”

“Hm… I see.”

“What should we do then? We can’t just tell the people that Rex Lapis just mysteriously disappeared.”

“I speculate it was an attempt of assassination. But the question is, where is he? Where is his body?”

“An assassination for the king?! Who would dare to do such a thing?!”

“Hm… let us think this thoroughly with the Adepti. Now that Rex Lapis is gone, we must take over as the Qixing of Liyue.”

“... alright.”

“You. Call the Adepti. An important meeting is about to happen.”

“Yes, lady Ningguang.”

“.. Your highness?” Appearing before you like the wind was the king himself, but you noted his appearance changed. Despite still appearing all regal, he seems more lax than the last time you appeared before him. Guilt consumed you when memories of that night came rushing to you, but it made you wonder. Why was he here before you? Why was he still alive? Weeks passed since you ‘killed’ Rex Lapis. But it appears you failed your mission since his highness is before you, looking healthy and alive. Questions filled your mind, making you more confused than ever. The Qixing and the Adepti have already announced his passing, his Rite of Passing was due a few days from now. So what exactly happened-?

“It seems my appearance has confused you, my dear.” He chuckled, calm as ever with the same amused glint in his eyes. You tried searching for anger or resentment in them, for ‘killing’ him but you couldn’t find any. All you saw was amusement and affection. “Why are you still alive..? Did the Qixing and the Adepti lie about your death..?” You asked, your voice barely a whisper. “.. may I at least come inside? I’ll explain it to you once we’re out of the public eye.” He said. You numbly nodded, still couldn’t wrap your head around Rex Lapis still being alive. Did the poison not work? Did I fail my mission-?

“By the way… you mustn’t call me Rex Lapis or Morax anymore.” He said, entering your humble home. Staring at you with the eyes you fell in love with, the same one glinting beneath the moonlight and under the light of the dozen chandeliers. “Call me Zhongli.”

[x] Main Page || [x] Liyue Page

[mybg3notebook]

Gale Extensive analysis

Disclaimer Game Version: All these analyses were written up to the game version v4.1.104.3536  (Early access). . As long as new content is added, and as long as I have free time for that, I will try to keep updating this information. Written in May 2021.

The majority of sources used for this article are in the game itself (this includes my Gale-solo playthroughs as well as a combination of the videos by munmomuu and selphie1999), and the dev’s notes provided by pjenn. Gale as origin is not taken into account since it’s not finished and has little Gale-related content. There will be little datamining content as well since pjenn said the game contained almost no gale-related notes (only in theWeave and in the Revelation scene).

The itemised list will show some instances of approval or disapproval as they are seen in the game. To make the reading of this article easier and shorter, you can skip them since they are basically the proof I use to sustain the introductory concept of each block. 

We can infer a lot of Gale by analysing what he approves and disapproves of. Sometimes, we can even lightly infer some information from his neutral reactions, but let’s be honest: this way of analysing a char is pretty poor since it leaves everything to speculation. Neutral reactions can only be analysed by contrasting the same situation in other contexts, and seeing what other options Gale approves or disapproves of. With these considerations in mind, we can proceed to describe this character.

Disclaimer: this is a meta with my personal interpretation of the character, sticking as much as possible to the facts and leaving little to “desires” or “projections” of what I want him to be. If I do so, I will state it explicitly in the text for the sake of analysis honesty. I want to be clear about what is canon (facts shown in bg3 EA), from what’s personal interpretation with little proof.

Also, this list is extensive, gathering as much as I could in my many playthroughs, but I’m sure it’s not absolutely complete. Some details may have escaped me, but honestly, I believe that any new approval will be easily fit in these blocks once the pattern has been seen.

Understanding Gale by enumerating his reactions and approvals

What we can do is combine what we know and make our deductions.

---Gale

[[1]] The most notorious aspect we see about his approval is that Gale supports all actions that prevent, via persuasion, intimidation, or deception, the unnecessary violence and bloodshed. His attitude can be summarized as “the means (as long as they don’t kill gratuitously) hardly matter if the end is worthy”. He will always prefer diplomatic and persuasive approaches, but he can be flexible when his main objective is to avoid unnecessary bloodshed. 

He approves of using intimidation, deception, or persuasion against Gimblebock, in the ruins of the Jergal Temple. 

He approves of intimidation or deception against the tieflings that have Lae’zel in a cage.

Gale approves of diffusing the tension between Zevlor and Aradin, using intimidation or persuasion. He keeps neutral if Tav uses violence to knock out one of the two. Once more, this shows he prefers any verbal approach before heading into physical violence.

He approves of dealing with Nettie without bloodshed after she poisoned Tav. Gale even has an extra comment on the matter praising such an approach since he says he would have not been able to do it himself. This is also the first time we see a glimpse of his support for the philosophy of “giving people their own medicine”. However, it's a comment made in the heat of the moment. He ends up praising a peaceful resolution of the situation.

He approves of saving Lae’Zel’s life when she attacks Tav in the camp. This can be done via deception, persuasion or knowledge [medicine] as long as it spares Lae’Zel’s life when she is feeling the first symptoms of the transformation.

He approves of any means that allow a peaceful entrance to the Blighted Village.

Gale approves of using persuasion/intimidation/deception against the goblins to avoid combat with all of them and to save the deep gnome tied to the windmill.

Gale approves of paying for Oskar’s freedom or using persuasion/intimidation, and then setting him free.

He approves of intimidating Spike (the goblin who is torturing Liam) to cooperate with you.

Gale approves of persuasion/intimidation options to pretend to be a True Soul in front of Dror Ragzlin, avoiding combat with him and all his goblin lackeys.

Gale approves of the persuasive approach with the githyanki patrol, promising to help them to find this weapon they are looking for. It’s clear that any other approach will end up in a fight and therefore, bloodshed. 

He also approves if you tell Lae’Zel to deal with her brethren while “playing along”. Again, the goal is to avoid fighting/bloodshed. 

He approves of intimidating Karlach, saying that “I heard you are dangerous, so I am”. Since Karlach is aiming at the group, he approves of diffusing the imminent violence.

In similar fashion, Gale approves of intimidating Rugan, once he presents himself as Zhentarim, to give you the chest. This can be interpreted as a way to prevent further violence from a Zhentarim. Since there is no approval when you use persuasion to have the chest, one is more inclined to think this approval is about danger-control than curiosity. Or it’s just a bug.

[[2]] As it was said before, we can assume that diplomatic approaches are the best ones in his opinion. They not only have a positive effect in the short term but also are means that may guarantee useful resources for the future: 

Gale approves of ensuring an encounter with Lorroakan in Baldur’s Gate via Rolan, establishing diplomatic relationships with what could potentially be a powerful useful ally.

Gale approves of promising to rescue the Duke Ravengard in the Moonrise, one of the most important figures in Baldur’s Gate.

Gale approves of managing a peaceful entrance to the Myconid colony. He highlights in a comment afterwards how useful it could be to have the Myconid as allies.

[[3]] Gale certainly is a great protector of life. Gale is against killing people just for fun, whether they are innocent or not. He will defend and respect the life of innocents without question, but he even will defend the life of dubious characters. 

Gale approves of helping the tieflings to get rid of Lae’Zel because “she is dangerous to innocent people ''. We can see here that like any human, he has his own (reasonable) biases about Githyanki, considering them dangerous. Only after meeting Lae’Zel he recognises a good ally with the possibility of access to a cure to their tadpole problem.

He approves of convincing Rolan to stay in the Grove and defend it. This can be interpreted as gathering resources to reduce the bloodshed and therefore, the loss of life when facing the goblin attack. After all, Gale believes that “a wizard is a mighty weapon to have in your arsenal”

He approves of stepping in front of Arka whose crossbow is aimed at the caged goblin Sazza. Due to the anecdote he shares after, we know explicitly that his approval is due to the prevention of murder. 

In his anecdote on the Yawning Portal, we know he prevented murder of three humanoids: a dragonborn, a drow, and a cleric of Cyric. The last two are highly morally dubious due to lore reasons, reinforcing this concept that Gale protects life whether they are innocent or not. 

He approves of inviting Wyll to their camp and team. He is a fighter and a good resource to add in order to protect the team’s life. 

He also approves of helping Zevlor when he comments about the Blade of Frontier’s plan of killing the goblin leaders.

He approves of helping the tiefling called Guex to improve his technique with the sword. More chances for him not to lose his own life. 

Approves of helping Auntie Ethel when she's confronted by Mayrina’s brothers when Tav’s perception check fails. This is because neither Tav nor Gale perceived her as a Hag until the brothers called her such.

Gale approves saving Mayrina from the hag’s clutches. If Tav deals with the Hag, accepting her power and saving Mayrina, Gale will remain neutral (he is displeased with sparing the hag, but it’s nullified with the fact that Tav ended up rescuing Mayrina.) He will disapprove of giving Mayrina to the hag and accepting her powers instead. He is always approving of saving Mayrina’s life and killing the Hag, saving more potential innocents in the future. He explicitly says that hags should be extinct due to their malice.

He approves of avoiding a fight by convincing the man to let the party pass into the Zhentarim hideout.

He approves of saving Rugan’s life in the hideout. This reinforces again the concept that Gale values life including the morally dubious ones’.

Gale approves of saving Benryn’s life, the man screaming during the fire in the inn at Waukeen’s Rest.

Gale approves of accepting to rescue the Duke Ravengard, and probably saving his life.

Gale approves of saving the deep gnome in the windmill without asking compensation, just for the sake of saving his life. 

Gale approves of attacking the goblins that are throwing stones to the caged bear. (He does it whether he knows that bear is Halsin or not)

Gale approves when Tav shields their memory and denies the access of the location of the grove to Minthara.

Gale approves of killing Minthara, the greatest danger for the tieflings and all lives in the Grove.

Gale approves of killing the Duergar slavers Gekh Coal and his company. 

He approves of killing the dying hyena which is giving birth to a gnoll. This is a way to protect innocent lives in the long term.

He approves of using the tadpole against Flind, commanding her to devour the other gnolls. Gale approves again if Tav orders her to kill herself. 

He approves of helping Baelen from escaping the trap of poisonous inflammable flowers he is surrounded in the Underdark.

[[4]] He dislikes greed and likes offering help without asking for a reward, just for the sake of helping.

Gale approves of helping Zevlor with the refugee situation.

Gale approves of incorporating Wyll in the group and of helping to get rid of the problems of the grove. 

Gale approves helping Alfira in composing her song.

Gale approves of saving the tiefling kid Mirkon from the harpies.

Gale encourages Tav and approves of meddling into Mayrina's troubles when they see her being mistreated by the Hag. 

He disapproves of asking for compensation after saving the deep gnome at the windmill. Gale approves of saving him and telling him “you owe me nothing”. 

[[5 ]] He has a consistent approval of treating kids in a compassionate and forgiving way. There is a line he says after Arabella’s scene that sums up his position with kids (and adults too): “She was not innocent, but that doesn’t mean she is guilty.”

Gale disapproves of not interfering in Meli’s situation, the tiefling child who stole Barth’s medallion. Using intimidation against Barth at this moment doesn’t give approval penalties. Not doing anything does. 

When Tav’s perception prevents them from being pickpocketed by one of Mattis' associates, the child immediately starts crying. Gale Approves of telling this child “Relax. I won’t get angry. You didn’t manage to steal anything from me”.

He approves of telling Arabella's parents that the druids overreacted. This approval is explicitly explained later by gale: one should be more kind and forgiving with the transgressions of youth. Here there is a bit of self-projection of Gale on the situation.

He approves of saving Arabella with active persuasion/intimidation. He disapproves of not doing anything during the tense situation with Teela. 

He approves of choosing the option “Only a monster would threaten/kill a child” when speaking with Kagha the first time.

Gale approves of helping Mirkon. He disapproves of scaring him.

Gale approves of telling “I’m sorry for your loss” to a goblin kid whose parents were killed by the adventurer they are kicking. 

[[6]] He is an animal lover in general, so treating animals in a good way will always earn his approval. 

We know he has a cat. When he was a child, he used to have a Tressym (winged cat).

He approves of convincing Scratch of joining the camp via speak with animals.

Gale approves of petting Scratch.

Gale approves of leaving the cave of the Owlbear mother and her cub without combat. Or he approves if Tav can speak with animals and convinces her not to kill them. 

After killing the owlbear mother, Gale approves of sparing the owlbear cub’s life.

Gale approves of convincing the goblin Krolla to hand over the Owlbear cub. Paying for it will not earn his approval. 

Gale approves of feeding the owlbear cub at the camp. However, Gale will state that it's a dangerous pet. Gale approves of feeding the owl afterwards, offering a funny phrase that may be more meaningful for his character: “The hand that feeds is the hand that’s loved, now he wont leave your side”. I personally found it funny since he is the char that Tav is feeding with artefacts.

Gale approves of petting the owlbear.

Gale approves of attempting to heal the Owlbear cub in camp.

He disapproves of shooing the Owlbear cub.

Gale approves of freeing the spiders in the goblin camp. This can be interpreted as well as a tactical advantage for the battle.

Gale disapproves of suggesting to the goblins to use sharp stones at the caged bear so they can inflict more damage. He also disapproves again if Tav joins them in throwing stones.

He approves of helping the bear to attack the goblins. (This happens whether Gale knows that the bear is Halsin or not)

Gale approves of leaving flowers at the grave of the dog Myrna in the Underdark.

[[7]] Therefore it is only natural to see that he disaproves of animal cruelty

He disapproves of kicking and killing the squirrel Timber when entering the Grove.

He disapproves of prodding to death the bird that Nettie was healing

He disapproves of killing the owlbear cub once the mother was killed.

Gale disapproves of suggesting the goblin kids to use sharp stones to hurt the caged bear.

He disapproves of Tav throwing stones at the bear.

Gale disapproves of attacking the owlbear cub once it went to the camp.

[[8]] Since life is valuable for him in general, he will always disapprove of gratuitous killing, murder, and bloodshed. In short, he disapproves of unnecessary death.

Gale disapproves of asking the fishermen to hand over their values. This situation ends up in bloodshed.

He disapproves of joining Lae'Zel against the Tieflings that had her caged.

Gale disapproves of not helping Zevlor, knowing the tieflings will be massacred by the goblins.

He disapproves of telling Rolan to leave the grove before the arrival of the goblins. Without this wizard the tieflings have more chances of failing at the resistance. 

He disapproves of helping the goblin Sazza to escape. This will guarantee that Minthara knows the location of the Grove.

He disapproves of telling Zevlor that Tav won’t help the Blade of Frontiers against the imminent massacre of the tieflings.

He disapproves of not doing anything to help Arabella 

He disapproves of Tav ignoring his need for artefacts because “there is more at stake than his own meager life alone”. He disapproves of this decision that puts many innocents in danger, but he keeps appealing to Tav’s good side, encouraging them to do the “right thing”. 

He also disapproves of killing Crusher when he is begging for his life after the “pungent poetic justice” of kissing Tav’s feet.

Gale disapproves of killing Rugan in the Zhentarim hideout when Zarys orders to.

Gale disapproves of killing Ellyka, the tiefling who was watching the githyanki patrol from a distance. 

He disapproves of opening the gate for the goblin raiders.

Gale disapproves of joining the goblins in massacring the tieflings. During the party he will attempt to leave the group. Only a high persuasion or insight roll will keep him in the group. It requires a DC 15.

Gale disapproves of helping Glut to destroy Spaw, the peaceful leader of the current Myconid colony. Doing this will end up in the massacre of the Myconid.

He disapproves of abandoning Baelan surrounded by poisonous inflammable flowers in the Underdark.

[[9]] He doesn’t like gratuitous humiliation or torture of any kind, whether psychological or physical. Once more, it’s shown that he disapproves gestures of cruelty and unprovoked violence. 

Gale disapproves of telling Elegis (tiefling on the gates of the grove) that she is pathetic for fearing the goblins.

He disapproves of pocketing the ring when Mattis (tiefling kid) asks you to choose heads or tails.

He disapproves of using intimidation against Pardima, threatening her to break her neck (she is the tiefling who is paralysed inside the small building). 

He disapproves of smashing Alfira’s lute

He disapproves of telling Kagha that Arabella’s death was “quite a show”. This is related to Astarion’s concept of “fun” that Gale will bring into conversation subtly in an option during Mayrina’s quest.

Gale disapproves of psychologically torturing Lorin (wood elf trapped in Ethel’s house).

When Tav kills Connor, Gale will lament about the tragedy of the couple. He is sad for the story of lovers being over due to the whim of a hag.

Gale disapproves if after reviving Connor, Tav decides to keep him as a combat pet.

In the post before the Goblin camp, Gale disapproves of Tav smearing dung on their face. Gale has a sense of confidence and pride that he prefers to see in Tav as well. He is neutral if Tav throws dung against the goblin guards. On one side he probably approves of Tav’s pride transpired in that rebel action, but on the other hand, he doesn’t approve of provoking the goblins, since in the beginning of the scene he warned Tav that they come by the dozen, implying that they likely will be outnumbered.

He disapproves of obeying Crusher and kissing his foot, or licking it as a prank. 

Gale disproves of volunteering to torture Liam inside the defiled temple of Selune.

Gale disapproves of siding with the Goblins in general. Once done, in the party, he disapproves of telling him to stop whining after the massacre when he is sharing his regret of having participated in it. He answers "You really are heartless".

(Datamining) In the Duergar encampment, Gale disapproves of killing the slave gnomes under the command of the True Soul Nere.

[[10]] Despite showing some signs that he may support some bias commonly spread in Faerun, he keeps open minded and quite self-critical about his own slips on different races.

During the meeting he uses the Rashemi group as a synonym for lack of intelligence. I personally see this as a foreshadowing detail of future frictions with Minsc.

He approves killing Lae’Zel in the cage if Tav supports the fact that she is dangerous to innocent people. This situation may suggest that Gale considers most Githyanki as dangerous (acceptable conception lore wise)

When talking with Aaron (the halfling merchant of the grove), Gale disapproves of saying that the tieflings can deal with their problems because they have devil powers. 

Despite goblinoid races being despised by most people in Faerun, Gale recognises their powers, culture, magic, and ability to bond and love.

He is a human of Waterdeep, his human-centric vision slips in his line (with a non-human Tav): “Now more than ever, it's important to recall what makes us human. Well- you know what I mean.” He immediately noticed it and acknowledged it. 

[[11]]He is against slavery:

Gale disapproves if Tav pays Oskar’s freedom to get him as a slave. He approves of leaving him free by any means: paying for him, intimidation, or persuasion.

Gale disapproves of helping Gekh Coal (Duergar) to find the slave gnome who stole the boots in the Underdark.

Gale disapproves of handing over Astarion to Gandrel. This action can be interpreted as a way to not support slavery (because the story of Cazador), even though a better interpretation is related to Gale’s abandonment issues (see bellow).

(Datamining) In the Duergar encampment, Gale approves of helping Beldron in using the explosives to get free of the Duergar slavers.

[[12]] There are several elements related to acceptance, forgiveness, compassion, kindness and acknowledging of mistakes deeply entangled in his character. Gale wants these values for himself as well as for others. Examples of this can be seen in the following approvals:

[[12a]] Acceptance: of his persona, which means respecting his privacy, boundaries, and needs 

[Privacy/Boundaries] He disapproves of every use of the tadpole on him. He has been more than clear from the first moment about his privacy and secrets, promising that he will eventually share, given the circumstances (he clearly leaves open the possibility of trusting in Tav and never denies having secrets). This behaviour of him is also understood later not as a whim but as part of his abandonment issues: he explicitly says several times that “some truths are more difficult to share than others”. We need to remember that his secret is directly entangled with Mystra, her abandonment, and the mistake of the orb. See the post about "Gale Hypotheses- Part 1", section: "Abandonment Issues" for further interpretation.

[Privacy/Boundaries] During the scene of the stew, he disapproves of using the tadpole again. He attempts to leave the group for the breach of trust. A persuasive or insightful comment will keep him in the group, excusing the natural mistrust in Tav (Gale will always respond better to reasoning and negotiations than anything else). Once more, Gale forgives Tav’s intrusion.

[Privacy/Boundaries] During the death protocol, he approves of telling him that he can keep his secrets until he is ready to share them, despite the many questions that the whole event arose. 

[Privacy/Boundaries] During the scene of Loss, he approves of letting the topic of the loss rest. However, at this point, even if Tav keeps pushing, Gale will approve and will share a bit more about his folly with Mystra. 

[Needs] He approves of Tav with each artefact he receives. This can be understood as an action of caring for Gale and his life as well as for preventing the death of innocents.

[Acceptance] Accepting to share the experience of the Weave with him is key in his relationships with Tav. Magic equals Weave, and Magic is his life, so he is sharing in that moment a strongly meaningful part of him with Tav. Acceptance of the event is a direct acceptance of Gale as a person for a future deep friendship or romance.

[Acceptance] If Tav is a Wizard or a Cleric of Mystra, Gale approves the praise options: "I quite agree. There is no greater deity than Mystra" and “Praise be that Mystryl was reborn as Mystra.” Despite the abandonment, Gale still remains a great devotee of her, and accepting her is an indirect way to accept a big part of his own life.

[Acceptance] He approves even more if this acceptance has romantic connotations (this means, options of kiss/holding hands in the Weave or “more than friends” during Loss).

[Acceptance] When Tav resurrects Gale, he doesn’t approve the resurrection per se, but the “welcome back” comment, implying that he values the action a bit more when Tav is glad for his own persona to be back.

[Forgiveness] He will approve acceptance of his own persona and forgiveness of his secrecy after the party.

[[12b]] Forgiveness for others: He approves of forgiving kids [5] or all those adults who show honest regret by their past mistakes. This can be understood as a projection.

When Tav first meets Gale, he states he is a reserved person. He disapproves of the use of the tadpole even though he understands the drive of curiosity. He forgives Tav who acknowledged their mistake. 

Gale approves of telling Arabella’s parents that the Druids overreacted, that Arabella “is just a child”. Once Arabella is saved, Gale will explicitly emphasise later about forgiving the transgressions of youth.

After finding evidence that Kagha is working with Shadow Druids, Gale approves of exposing her while making her see her own mistakes. A path to redemption is granted with this action, and this resounds deeply in Gale. 

Gale himself wishes Mystra’s forgiveness for the mistake done in his youth. Despite wishing for it, he is quite resigned to never receiving it. 

If Tav uses the parasite powers a third time despite having agreed with the rest of the group not to, Gale will approve a sincere apology, as long as Tav acknowledges the mistake. He will answer that he knows about weaknesses and will recommend to stay stronger from that moment on. He forgives and passes no judgement, understanding Tav’s mistakes due to his own experience (to be fair: all companions with the exception of Astarion forgive this slip into the powers of the tadpole).

Taking Silvanus' idol may potentially end up in killing the druids. If this is the case, Gale will be affected by this tragedy since it was a lot of unnecessary death he doesn't like [1,3,8], and shares the burden that those deaths caused him since he suggested taking the idol as last resort, expecting to save more lives due to his bomb-condition. We see that he wants to survive and protect others from the orb, but not “at whatever cost”. He reflects with a heavy heart “at what cost” a greater evil was prevented. He speaks about “what’s wrong is wrong”, implying with all this scene that forgiveness, in this case, may be not possible. 

He approves of being forgiven/supported in his friendship/romance despite the mistake of holding the information of the orb and Mystra. At this point it is strange that Tav has not realised all of this alone, unless the player had a bug that prevented them from seeing Gale’s scenes. (Gale’s scenes suffer the lowest priority in the triggering list).

When Gale explicitly apologies in the morning after, he approves of telling him “It's fine. In the end I'm glad you told me.” The other options have no approval penalties. Once more it’s seen that a compassionate, forgiving attitude increases his approval. This can be seen as a direct result of his traumatic and constant present fear for abandonment (Check the post of "Gale Hypotheses- Part 1", section: "Abandonment Issues").

[[12c]] Compassion and kindness: He approves of most actions based on compassion and kindness (on him or others) and disapproves quick judgement on others when the whole story related to them is not completely known.

Gale disapproves of telling Arabella's parents that the situation is their fault. This can be interpreted as a quick judgement when they still did not listen to the other side.

After saving Arabella, Gale has a special comment related to the “transgressions of the youth”, about mistakes, and about innocence and guilt.

In Waukeen’s rest, Gale is neutral about keeping the dowry as a payment, but he approves of giving it to Benryn (the man rescued from the fire who found his wife dead). This could be considered a gesture of compassion.

He approves of most compassionate options when he is speaking of Mystra during the scene of Loss. It doesn’t matter if Tav doesn’t understand the whole situation; he always appreciates receiving support. 

Instead, he disapproves if Tav considers arrogance as the cause for his pain and loss (later we will know his folly was not because of arrogance but because of young love/devotion). He doesn’t approve judgement in this instance (since the whole story has not been said yet) but he will not disapprove Tav’s judgements later during the scene of the Revelation, where he receives the most aggressive words without approval penalties. 

Curiously, during the goblin party, he explicitly says that these two aspects of his persona (compassion and kindness) are affected by the shadow within (the orb) and the shadow without (the revealed Evil-Tav).

[[13]] Gale is a man of the City who indulges in the fine pleasures that urban life and some degree of privilege can offer. This is quite reasonable in terms of lore, since he is from Waterdeep, where humans hold the political and social power, plus his wizard profession. Wizards tend to come (even though it’s not exclusive) from high income families or from nobility since wizardry studies are quite expensive: 

He comments about the hardness of the wilderness.

He missed the civilisation: soft beds, home cooked meals, minstrels, and scented baths.

Gale approves of giving Oskar (the slave painter in the Zhentarim hideout) 200 gold to fight the “discomforts of the road”. He is the only companion who approves this action.

Gale disapproves of participating in the pain ritual with Abdirak. I personally prefer to interpret it in relation to his dislike for evil entities, but it can be also interpreted as a statement: pain “is not his cup of tea”.

In the same way, during the Weave, he disapproves of the image of being kicked in the gut.I know this should be common sense: if someone kicks you, you disapprove. The detail I see here is that, judging by his reaction, it seems to hurt him more than the image of the severed head. Maybe he has an extra sensibility to pain as the result of living with the orb stuck in his chest. The orb seems to be an ever present fear/pain (one can assume pain due to the extreme facial gesticulation in Gale when the process of absorption happens)

[[14]] He may disapprove of worshipping dubious or evil gods. This seems coherent since Mystra is a neutral good entity.

Gale disapproves of participating in the pain ritual with Abdirak. He explicitly says that pain is not “his cup of tea”, but it’s possible to interpret this scene as a disapproval to worshiping evil gods. Loviatar is one whose followers offer pain to celebrate her. In all options of this dialogue Abdirak explicitly says this is a ritual to offer pain to Loviatar, so it can be understood as a form of worshipping her in the moment. 

Gale disapproves if Tav accepts to be a Chosen of Booal.

He approves of Tav claiming that they don’t need of Booal’s powers, “I'll just kill you and claim it for myself”

When Shadowheart confesses being a worshipper of Shar, Gale will share a comment that displays his discomfort.

Gale approves of purging the evil in the dying hyena when a good-aligned Cleric blesses them.

[[15]] Gale is a scholar, and therefore, quite an open-minded char, who advocates for unconventional ways to solve problems:

He approves of considering the Creche solution for their tadpole’s problem, incorporating a githyanki to their group.

Gale approves of considering Gut the Priestess as another option. 

Despite his years studying The Arts, he is not judgemental or dismissive to Warlock/Cleric/Paladin Tavs who acquired the ability to cast magic thanks to the gift granted by superior entities.

Gale approves of saying “Then fix it, or die at my hand” to Raphael, quite an aggressive option for his usual style.

Gale suggests outsmarting Raphael; his logic is reasonable: these tadpoles are powerful and unusual, and Raphael probably wants them instead of their souls. If he is right, a good deal can be established. He knows that cambion’s deals tend to be unfair but he wants to exploit the fallible (human) side of Raphael for their benefit.

He is neutral when accepting the solution offered by the Hag. He probably doesn’t disapprove completely because, like a good scholar, he is waiting for the empirical result. He knows beforehand that Hags are twisted and evil entities that hardly could give them a good deal. In this case, he is not even proposing to outsmart her. 

Gale approves of giving the wand of control of Connor to Mayrina so she can find a solution in Baldur’s Gate. Despite this is an unconventional way to fix this situation, I personally feel there is a bug around, since his following comment is more consistent with a disapproval.

[[16]] He doesn’t like rushed decisions without thinking about all the possibilities. He encourages logical and reasonable discussions, free of biases or misconceptions as a scholar does. This aspect can be also understood as a reflection of his own past mistakes. Taking the orb after Mystra’s abandonment was a rushed decision of his youth which made him pay a big price.

During Raphael’s scene, he disapproves of the option “I’ll do anything to get rid of the tadpole”. That fast answer would only cause troubles.

He approves during Raphael’s scene the option that allows reflection: “I need to think this over.”

He encourages Tav to not discard the option of looking for the priestess Gut so quickly. He knows how magic is called among the goblinoid races and how much they value healing for being a culture of war.

Although he disapproves of the intrusion into his mind with the tadpole during the scene of the stew, reasonable arguments using persuasion/insight can be enough to prevent him from leaving the party. He reinforces the idea that he “may have spoken in haste” and he has reconsidered to stay despite Tav’s transgressions.

[[17]] He usually disapproves of using unknown magic in an irresponsible or careless way. This can be interpreted as a way to prevent mistakes similar to the one he did with the orb.

Gale disapproves of Tav reading the book of necromancy or giving it to Astarion. The reader will have access to the “forbidden knowledge” tag. Gale thinks himself more adequate for it since he is wiser than before, his experience with the orb book has taught him a great deal. He approves of giving the book to him.

Gale disapproves of accepting the brand of the Absolute. In the moment Tav accepts it, they learn that it has a unique magical effect that only True Souls can notice. Gale suspects this magic may cause mind control on goblins. "Charged with magic? Perhaps that explains the ease with which these goblins submit to True souls."

He approves of being cautious with the powers of the tadpole once they start seeing that its usage has physical and psychological (dreams) effects. 

He disapproves of using the tadpoles after seeing a dangerous pattern with the dreams.

[[18]] He approves of poetic justice, and he seems to follow the philosophy of “give others their own medicine” when he is attacked or harassed.

Gale approves of dealing with the situation with Nettie without bloodshed. However, Gale states that having been him, he would have handled it in a different way, recognising that he may have forced Nettie to pay with the same coin. “A taste of her own medicine is what she deserves.”

Gale encourages and approves of reinforcing a “pungent poetic justice”, making Crusher kiss Tav’s foot. 

Gale approves of helping the Myconid in killing the Duergars. “Wicked killers deserve wicked ends”

[[19]] He supports or at least doesn’t easily judge acts of self-preservation, but not at any cost. This follows his line “one respects life by fighting for it, and one respects death by fearing it”

Gale disapproves of keeping Astarion in the party after the bite scene. This happens if you use two options: “you can leave option” or “he won't hurt us”. Keeping Astarion is a danger in his eyes.

Gale approves of convincing/deceiving Lae’Zel not to kill the party during the night of apparent transformation into mind flayers. If those rolls fail and Tav kills Lae’Zel, Gale will remain neutral in the forced action that they had to take due to self-preservation. He describes the situation as “brutal” and shows pity and sadness for the tragedy. Then he asks Tav how they are doing with the experience: he is sympathising with Tav, not judging them.

Gale approves of dealing with Nettie without bloodshed but he states that he would have fought in order to preserve his own life.

When Tav speaks to Kagha after Arabella’s death, Gale keeps neutral to the comment “You protected your own without hesitation - my compliments.” However, Gale would only approve expressions related to calling out Kagha. Gale can understand the self-preservation sentiments, but his line is drawn when life is taken gratuitously.

Gale approves of pretending to be a True Soul in front of Dror Ragzlin and avoiding a fight when they are outnumbered.

He approves of being cautious with the powers of the tadpole once they start showing that they can endanger their own lives.

He suggests stealing the idol of Silvanus as a way to keep his condition in check (which is more than just self-preservation due to the massive destruction it may cause). If Tav killed the druids to obtain it, Gale shows regret. He embodies the sense of survival, but not at any cost. He suffers with the consequences, but he also endures them since they are the lesser evil. He prefers to cause the least harm possible if there is no choice in avoiding to hurt a side. 

This can be better seen during the goblin party. The only arguments that Tav can use to convince Gale to stay in the team are those related to self-preservation: “We make each other survive” and “You don't stand a chance alone”, both statements that Gale can accept only after a high DC 15, but always regretting his need and the excess of blood.

[[20]] Gale’s secrecy about Mystra and the orb have a clear source: he has serious abandonment issues that can be easily seen in his most apparent “strange” approvals/disapprovals:

Gale disapproves of handing over Astarion to Gangrel, even though he dislikes and mistrusts keeping Astarion as part of the group during the bite scene. This is quite surprising since Astarion is seen by Gale as a danger.

Gale approves twice defending Astarion against Gangrel. If Astarion is not in the group, the first approval happens when Tav recognises that Astarion is part of their companions/friends (therefore, they care about them). The second approval is when Tav reinforces their loyalty to Astarion insisting that they won’t give his location. Although Gale will explicitly question if this decision was right, he secretly approved it (meta-knowledge that only the player sees). We can interpret this as Gale seeing in Tav a person who will never abandon someone they care for, even if that person endangers them. 

During the scene of Revelation, Gale approves of not being abandoned/pushed away by Tav despite his “secrecy”.

This post was written in May 2021. → For more Gale: Analysis Series Index

[uten4]

Shun and Aren's relationship is simultaneously so adorable and hilarious.

Like first you've got Aren, who when he was introduced had just transferred schools and dropped his usual (very physical) method of befriending others, but is now lonely and wants to make friends.

And then you have Shun, whose main goal in the series before he befriended Aren was to make friends! And he did... sort of... succeed in befriending Saiki and Nendou-- they hung out a lot and cared about Shun in their own way. But clearly Shun still wanted to have a really corny poster-child of best-friendship, showing frustration for Nendou's annoying tendencies and Saiki's resistance to being around Shun almost all the time. Like in one episode, when Shun is daydreaming about being a hero, he fantasizes about Saiki calling him by his given name (as opposed to his family name), so you can tell that increased closeness is something he still really wants. And what gets me about that in particular is that very same episode, Shun and Aren become friends, and from then on you only see them referring to each other by given name ^D^ By being friends with Aren, Shun gets some of that cheesy closeness he really wants, but that Saiki is too reserved to offer him.

But yes, when Shun and Aren first speak, Aren is already disheartened by all his friendship attempts up til then failing... and they do that amazing bit where Shun does his chuunibyou monologue and Aren mistakenly thinks this is how all normal people sound. And THEN, even better, some of Shun's chuunibyou terminology are actually things that Aren recognizes... from the world of delinquency. So they're able to have Aren's first satisfactory conversation at PK Academy, and it's completely incomprehensible to anyone else. Beautiful. Amazing. In the anime I don't think they ever do that again, so I thought it was a one-time joke and from then on Aren has become more aware of Shun's delusional qualities... but they actually do it again in the video game. Several times (you can check it for yourself on tumblr user silenthikari's blog). Shun makes some really weird dramatic statement, and Aren either translates it into something meaningful, or translates it into having some equally weird meaning in the delinquent world, and they are able to have a terrible and hilarious conversation this way. Overall their dynamic of Real-life Delinquent Who's Trying To Seem Nerdy and Real Nerd Who's Trying To Seem Tough And Cool is so funny when you think about it (and made more compatible with the fact that Shun is brave when it counts !!). I honestly don't know if I prefer the version of Aren who responds to Shun's chuunibyou monologues with delinquent monologues, or with passing over it while slightly confused... Maybe both. Both is good.

But yeah, Aren is super concerned about keeping his delinquent past hidden, but when Shun figures it out, he decides to judge him based on his current self and not his past, which Aren really appreciates, and it's sweet.

I also like how they spend so much time together and share their interests. In the manga Shun is really into the series Odd-Eye Persona Cerberus, but no one else he knows likes it or even really likes the magazine it runs in, but Aren shows up and HE LIKES THE SERIES... and he follows the other series in that magazine, and of course he and Shun immediately have a conversation about it that is unintelligible to everyone around them. ❤️ In other words, Shun finally gets to share his nerdy manga interests with someone else now that he's friends with Aren! And in turn, Aren is able to share his interests with Shun-- they of course get really into motorcycles together. Also they just hang out in general all the time; they're constantly sharing panels together and in the manga it's mentioned that they spent one summer break just hanging out all the time, to the point where Shun has been influenced by Aren to become foul-mouthed, which is very funny.

I also like that they're so supportive of each other. They compliment and hype each other up A LOT, on their actions, looks, accomplishments, whatever. That doesn't mean they're blind to each other's faults or unfailingly sweet to each other though, which I think is realistic and interesting. They have their casual petty arguments where they make fun of each other or call each other dumb. Also, Aren is aware that Shun is not the best at drawing and even avoids being paired up to do portraits of each other in art class. He's not a big fan of Shun's writing when he first sees it either, which (along with the disapproval of Nendou and Saiki) hurts Shun's feelings-- but in the manga he at least tries to compliment (pretty awkwardly; that's Aren for ya) Shun on something by saying he used a lot of complicated vocabulary. He also privately expects Shun to show up to the class play unprepared, thinking he can be unreliable. But when Shun shows up with an epic costume, Aren mentally takes it back and thinks he's amazing. And when everyone was stranded on an island, he doesn't put Shun on the raft group even though he wanted to go because he gets motion sickness, but Aren just states this straight-up and doesn't dwell on it. He is a person who's very geared towards showing his feelings and acting on them, so he doesn't spare Shun the harsh truth (except when he does), but to my knowledge he never goes out of his way to put Shun down, esp for things he's sensitive about.

And Shun also has moments of not supporting Aren's actions 100%. When Aren draws the protagonist of their manga with a ducktail, Shun tries to let him know that he finds it weird, and after going back and forth a little Aren's like "yeah sure I'll draw him with the hairstyle you want" and they immediately get over it. And in the video game Aren explains the instructions of something in a really vague way and Shun's like "that's so unclear man, here let me", and after he's finished Aren's just like "as expected from Shun! That was so detailed ^D^". And then there are several times in the series where Aren's about to get into a fight or do something aggressive and Shun holds him back, and honestly that's just a Good Friend thing to do. I think it's cool-- Aren looks out for Shun (ex. taking care of him when he gets motion sickness), and Shun looks out for him in turn. And this is kind of just my thinking but it seems like Aren gives Shun more... confidence by being his friend (and a really supportive one at that) and rubbing his delinquency off on him a little, and Shun helps Aren with his own goal of living a peaceful life by trying to keep him out of trouble and doing non-aggressive activities with him, like building forts, studying, playing video games, etc.!

[pradaksj]

ghostin || part one. (m.)

all rights reserved © pradaksj

↳do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

❧ summary ⟶  ❝Though I wish he were here instead. Don't want that living in your head, he just comes to visit me when I'm dreaming every now and then. ❞

❧ pairing⟶ seokjin/reader

❧ genre⟶  angst, angst, and angst … did i say angst? + a bit of fluff? friends to lovers. 

❧ word count ⟶ 20,000+ 

❧ warnings ⟶ major character death! sad ending. descriptions of grieving process. 

❧ a/n ⟶ this is based on both ghostin by ariana grande and the one that got away by katy perry and pluto projector by rex orange county which has a godlike violin instrumental that is a perfect fit for this story. i def recommend listening to the slowed + reverb versions. + i tried to make transitions as clear as possible so please let me know how i did on those :(  and lastly ermmm dont stress too much on specific time stamps and ages bc ermmm I just did quick maths for a lot of it LMAO

❧ part of the  ⟶ thank u, next series

part 1 || part 2 (final) 

2050.

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear grandma, happy birthday to you!” the sound of multiple claps echo across the room, symbolizing the start of a new year for you. 

Today was your 75th birthday celebration and around you were your two grandkids along with your only daughter. It seemed as the years went by, the need for such grand celebrations weren’t as important as they used to be. A simple cutting of the cake surrounded by the people you love being enough to suffice.

“Grandma! You have to blow the candles out!” your youngest grandson eagerly reminds you, ready to blow them out himself if you didn’t take action soon, “and don’t forget to make a wish and don’t tell us or else it won’t come true!”

“Mm,” you smile warmly, gently closing your eyes and puffing a gentle huff of air, your mind blank of any wishes, for you had stopped believing in the magic of wishes a long long time ago.

“Alright, now to cut it … Jia go grab a cutting knife from the block set,” you hear your daughter command your oldest grandchild, who at this moment was clearly too consumed with whatever she had going on in her phone to even bother listening, “Jia!” she finally snaps her head up at the sound of her mother’s voice raising an octave, “How many times do I have to tell you to stop using that phone so much, not only is it rude but we’re celebrating your grandma’s birthday. The least you can do is have the courtesy to turn off your phone.”

She rolls her eyes in response, “Mom, I’m sure grandma doesn’t mind … right grandma?” she flashes you the toothy grin that you were used to seeing whenever she wanted something, knowing she’s always had a special place in your heart as the first grandchild.  

All you can do is chuckle softly, feeling too old to entertain and be dragged into the bickering arguments between your daughter and granddaughter. Carefully you get up yourself and grab a cutting knife despite your daughter’s pleas to sit.

“Look at what you’ve made your grandma do Ji—” but before your daughter could continue with her scolding, you raise a hand as a gesture of interrupting.

“I’m old, but I’m not that old Yeojin, getting up to grab a knife isn’t the end of the world for me,” you sigh, “Now let’s stop with all of the bickering and eat some cake.”

It was odd really, growing up you could never exactly picture yourself getting to this age (not that you weren’t ever hoping to), but like any other person you just always pictured yourself being young forever. 

It wasn’t until your first gray hair appeared several years ago that it suddenly struck you that you really were actually aging. From there the wrinkles upon your skin grew to be more prevalent and things you had no problem doing when you were in your teenage years began to consume much more energy from you. 

And now that you observed yourself in the mirror, here on your 75th birthday, did you realize that life had really gone by in the blink of an eye. 

Of course 75 wasn’t too old of an age, but now retired and living under the light supervision of your nearly 50 year old daughter, you had long ago realized that the days of wild adventures and endless partying were long over. In a way it was time to start asking yourself if you had lived a life you could be proud of and if you fulfilled the promise you made over 50 years ago. 

Honestly, you were unsure, but before you could dwell on your thoughts for any longer, the sound of an argument going on downstairs catches your attention.

“Hand me the phone Jia!” you hear your daughter’s voice yell across the room as you made your way into the living room.

“I said no! I’m not twelve anymore, you can’t just make me hand you my things whenever you want,” Jia scoffs in return, adamant on her rebellious stance.

“Considering that I’m the one whose paying that phone bill every month, I wouldn’t exactly call it yours little lady,” Yeojin sternly furrows her brows while her hand continued to remain held out, her patience running on a thin line, “Jia if you don’t give me that phone then—”

“What?” she interrupts, challenging whatever her mother was going to say. With your newly profound headache growing by the second, you grab the keys to your small old Toyota, deciding that you weren’t going to be helping handle this on your birthday. 

Their voices, which became nothing more than background noise while you grabbed your winter jacket, were brought back to your attention once you were making your way out the door.

“Mom where are you going?” Yeojin asks before you could run off, “It’s raining and you shouldn’t be driving at this hour of night.”

“And why is that?”

“Because Grandma you’re—” Jia suddenly chimes in, “well you’re um—” old, is what you know your granddaughter wants to say, but out of respect chooses not to.  

You sigh, “I’m just going to the diner to grab myself a late night snack while you two continue with your useless arguing. Hopefully when I come back, you two will have realized how pointless these arguments are.”

“Mom—” Yeojin begins, but almost as if a lightbulb went off in her head, she suddenly grabs Jia’s phone while she was distracted in watching you leave, “Go with your grandma,” she commands, and Jia’s eyes immediately go wide.

“Hey you can’t just—” Jia’s about to complain until she sees the firm look on her mother’s face, “But—” she glances in your direction, knowing that just like her mom, she wouldn’t feel too good having you out driving this late at night, especially on a rainy day.

“You cried about getting your permit for months, now is the time to put it to use,” Yeojin sends her knowing look, recalling the number of months that Jia would complain about all of her classmates getting either their permits or license’s while she was still stuck taking the bus. 

“Ugh,” she groans, “Fine, grandma wait for me in the car,” she ultimately says. After putting on her shoes, Jia begins to make her way out to the car, but not before her mother stops her midway to tell her to “Drive safe.”

“Mom, I know,” she scoffs, “but don’t expect me to spend hours there or something. We’re strictly going for whatever food she wants and back. No way in hell are we dining in.”  

To that, Yeojin laughs. There was no way her mother wouldn’t want to dine in, but deciding she’d let Jia figure that out on her own, instead she says, “Well as long as you listen to whatever your grandma has to say to you then I don’t mind what time you come back.”

“That’s if she doesn’t put me to sleep first,” Jia mumbles to herself, but still loud enough for her mother to hear. 

One could say, she wasn’t exactly looking forward to spending one on one time with her grandma, not without her phone at least. Of course that didn’t mean she didn’t love her grandma to death because truly she did, but often she found herself halfway asleep whenever she had long conversations with her. The same old endearing “you and your mother need to learn to communicate” or the “back in my day” conversations were quite repetitive.

“Mm, you need to start putting that attitude of yours under control little lady,” Yeojin shakes her head in disapproval, “I understand that your grandma can be a bit…”

“Boring,” Jia completes the sentence for her.

“Tedious,” Yeojin corrects, “at times, but occasionally she has an interesting story to tell here and there,” she chuckles, “so don’t count her out just yet. You may be surprised with whatever story she has prepared to tell.”

And with that all Jia could do was sigh, preparing for the long night ahead.

“Grandma, we’ve been here for like 2 hours now,” Jia complains, staring at you as you ate your BLT sandwich, the sound of both loud and pleased munches coming out of your mouth, “You’re really telling me you’re not full yet?”

With a mouthful of food in your mouth, you shake your head no. It isn’t until you gulp down your food that you’re able to verbally give a response, “You know I’m a slow eater, plus it’s my birthday. You don’t hear me complain on your birthday, do you?”

To that, Jia remained silent. She guessed you had a point, not like there was much left for an elderly lady like you to do. The least she could do was suck up her complaints, and deal with it. It just sucked that whenever she looked up at the wall clock it seemed like time was moving as slow as a snail. 

God, how she should’ve somehow managed to take back her phone. It also didn’t help that those “stories” her mom had mentioned weren’t planning on making an appearance tonight because all you did was silently eat your food and stare out the window. 

Honestly, Jia hadn’t expected much but it seemed as if today you were even quieter than usual, not even bothering to make the small conversation you usually did, like asking her how school was going or if she had a boyfriend yet (not that she ever responded truthfully). So in short, you were doing absolutely nothing to appease Jia’s boredom.

All Jia could do was tap her nails against the old diner’s table and observe the other late night foodies around you two. 

The first person she noticed was a middle aged man who was eating a burger along with a strawberry shake. Based on his tiresome appearance and the hat he wore, she could only assume that he was most likely a trucker who needed to make a pit stop.

The second person she noticed was not a single person, but a group of three. A father, a mother, and their little daughter. The sight of them tugging slightly at her heart strings, reminding her of a time in her childhood before her parents’ divorce. If only she had appreciated those moments a little more while they were happening.

Deciding that she wasn’t in the mood for nostalgic sulking, she instead focused her attention on the last set of people in the diner. A couple, who was only a couple of feet away from you two, seated in one of the booths rather than at a table like Jia and you. 

The young man, who Jia assumed was in his mid 20′s, was seated with a woman who was just as good looking as him. The two of them sat facing across from one another rather than besides each other, the serious look on their faces clearly signaling that whatever they were talking about was of importance.

It wasn’t until she took a clearer look at the woman that she realized she was crying, the sounds of her whimpers becoming clearer once she had taken note of the woman’s disheveled appearance. It looked like she had been crying for hours, her hand holding onto the man’s at the center of the table as if begging him to stay…

“Yejin we just can’t be together anymore,” Jia overhears the man say, and it’s only then that she realizes that the woman is begging him to stay.  

“Jimin, all I’m asking is why?” she hears the woman plead, her voice sounding weak and defeated, “I just— I just don’t understand—” she manages to stutter the sentence out, “Does it have to do with what you were telling me the other night? About feeling incompenent with your career?”

He vigorously shakes his head no, prepared to deny the accusation, “No—”

But she’s quick to cut him off, “Because if it is,” she squeezes his hand tighter, “I already told you I don’t care. I don’t care if you’re the poorest or richest man on the planet, okay? As long as I’m with you, I just don’t care,” she repeats, “You’re my person Jimin,” the woman, who Jia now identified as Yejin, with whatever energy she had left, forced a small smile to grace upon her lips. 

A small smile that spoke nothing but genuine love for the man across from her, but with eyes that were desperately hoping for a small sign that the man in front of her would break, “You’re all I have.”

The man, Jimin, instead of reciprocating the warm gesture, pulls his hands away, forcing himself to be the ultimate bad guy in this story. 

This was for the best he reasoned with himself, not for him, but for her. 

The woman in front of him who he loved so much that he couldn’t bear the thought of denying her a future where she’d have to worry everyday about what their future held, even if it meant not being with him, 

“It’s for that reason that we can’t….” he clears his throat, “After tonight we’ll be nothing more than strangers.” he says in a voice that hid any feeling of despair he felt, saving the emotion for later when he was by himself.

“Please,” her voice breaks, “Jimin please,” a single teardrop falls from her eye, “Our future, it'll be worth it, I promise. Every stupid stubborn inch of it because as long as I’m by your side we’ll get through anything. And when we’re old and gray we’ll laugh about this stupid conversation—”

“Yejin—”

“No,” Yejin shakes her head vigorously, desperately fighting tooth and nail for her boyfriend of 7 years and her childhood friend of even more, the person she thought she’d been through it all with, “I refuse to—”

“Yejin!” he firmly interrupts her before she could continue, unsure of just how much more he could hear, “Look at me.” Fuck Yejin. Don’t do this to me. Just accept it., was all he could think at the moment, “I’m—” for a second he struggles to say the words, struggles to officially shatter the heart that had trusted him enough to show itself completely bare, “I’m doing this for me. I’m choosing me. And I don’t know what else I can say or do for you to realize that,” how disgusting it felt to spew the lies out of his mouth.

And it was once he said those words, that Yejin no longer fought against what was happening. It was then that Jimin knew, she had finally accepted it. 

The two sat there in silence for what felt like an eternity, until Yejin grabbed her keys from the table, mustering the courage to be the first one to leave, but not before planting a soft kiss on top of Jimin’s head, a final gesture of good bye.

Jia, who’d witness the whole heartbreaking scene play out in front of her, struggled to tear her eyes away. But it was once she did, that she had noticed she wasn’t the only one who had paid attention to the break up.

Watching the couple, you looked as if you’d seen a ghost, truly at a loss for words. Never did you imagine you’d witness history repeat itself.

A voice breaks you away from your thoughts, “Grandma, are you okay?” Jia warily asks, concerned with why you looked so shocked.

“Oh,” you blink rapidly as if being brought back to reality, “Yeah, it’s just—” you glance at the booth once again, watching the man sulk in his seat. 

His head was leaned against the glass window, dazedly looking at the view outside. By now his eyes were puffy, the emotions he had kept bottled in, now manifesting itself in the salty tears that were now silently falling down his face. 

And before you could think twice, you grabbed the extra sandwich you had ordered and began to walk towards his booth, Jia following behind with a shocked expression.

“Grandma, what are you doing?!” she asks in a panicky tone, but before she could stop you from doing anything, you were already standing beside the booth the man was in. 

The dirty-blonde haired man turns his attention towards the two of you, a worn out expression on his face.

“You seem like you could use this,” you offer him the sandwich with a warm smile on your face, “a young man like you shouldn’t be in such distress, or else you’ll end up with wrinkles like mine,” you try to joke around, an attempt to brighten the mood. 

He lets out a forced chuckle, showing you that despite his down mood, he was still a very polite young man through and through.

“You don’t mind if we…” you stare at the seat across from him, signaling that you were hoping to sit. 

He looks as if he wants to say no, shyly avoiding eye contact for a moment, unsure of how to reject a kind old woman.

“Oh it’s just that um—” but before he could spew out an excuse, you were already making yourself comfortable in the booth, your granddaughter hesitantly sitting in the spot next to him, still giving you the “What are you doing” eyes. 

He feigns an awkward smile, scolding himself for being so timid. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate the kind gesture, for any other day he would’ve been more than happy to receive a free BLT sandwich and make conversation with an elder, but tonight … well tonight he just wanted to sulk in his own misery.

“So what is a young man like you doing out here so late at night?” you ask, the closed eye smile on your face causing your wrinkles to protrude. 

He remains silent, unsure of what to respond with, “Was that your girlfriend just now who left?” you boldly ask, the phrase “having a filter” clearly not in your dictionary.

“Grandma!” Jia frantically says, “Sir I’m sorry, we’ll leave now,” she forces an awkward laugh, now getting up from the booth, “she can be a bit pushy—”

“She’s my ex now,” he surprisingly answers, catching not only Jia but himself off guard. 

You on the other hand remain with a warm sympathetic smile on your face. 

Honestly, he wasn’t sure what came over him to be so straightforward. He’d been holding so much in for so long, he figured that maybe it wouldn’t hurt to talk to a random old lady and her granddaughter for a night. Not like he’d ever see them again, right?

Letting out a bitter scoff directed at himself, he continues, “I broke up with her just now Mrs—”

“Ms. y/l/n,” you correct him, “and this is my granddaughter Jia,” you signal to Jia to sit back down, and she watches the two of you with wary eyes, confused by the sudden conversational exchange between the two of you. 

Hmm, well she did want to know why he broke up with his girlfriend, so maybe it wouldn’t hurt to just sit and listen for a bit. Shaking his hand, she seats herself once more.

“You don’t seem too happy about your break up, for someone who did the breaking that is…” you lightheartedly comment, secretly analyzing his tense posture. Though relaxing just a bit, it was clear that he still didn’t feel completely comfortable sharing the details of his private life. It wasn’t surprising really, you were nothing more than a stranger. It wasn’t like you expected him to be so open, not right away at least, “you don’t mind me asking why?”

“Because—” he pauses for a moment, trying to find the right words, “we—” he sighs, holding back, “we just weren’t meant to be,” he ultimately says with a small sad smile on his face. 

You stare at him for what feels like an eternity, a frown now on your face.

“And what makes you say that?” you ask. 

He gulps, the intense stare from both you and Jia now making him nervous, “Because she’s destined for greatness,” he longingly states, “and I was nothing more than an obstacle along the way even if she didn’t realize it,” he looks down at the table, “Because all I want in this world is for her to live a long happy life, a life where she can do anything she pleases whenever she wants, without a worry in the world,” he concludes, now sporting a dull expression.

“You—” you clench your teeth, almost looking at him in disgust, “You stupid boy,” you harshly mumble, but still loud enough for both him and Jia to hear.

“Grandma!” Jia’s eyes widen, taken aback by your sudden rude remark, but all you can do is continue to stare at the man in front of you, a pained expression on your face. Almost as if you wanted to cry.

Jimin on the other hand didn’t know what to make of your words. Was he offended? No, not really. Surprised? Couldn’t say he was. Was it deserved? He’d like to think so. “Look—” he’s about to say something until you interrupt him.

“What about you?” you demand pointedly, “Don’t you care about what you want? What about your happiness?” you feel your upper lip tremble along with a rush of emotions that you were sure you hadn’t felt in years. 

Anger. Sadness. Fear. 

Everything you had kept bottled in for so long was beginning to make its appearance all because you witnessed this young man break up with his girlfriend.

“Grandma I think we should g—”

“No,” you firmly state, your voice slightly trembling, “I’m not going to let it happen again, I can’t,” a single tear falls from your face as you come into eye contact with the young man. God, he looked so much like him. 

Wiping the tear away, you quickly compose yourself, “I’m going to tell the two of you a story,” you point towards the boy, “and you better listen good and well,” you turn to your granddaughter, “you too little lady because it’s a lesson that can be learned by anyone.”

Her face twists to one of skepticism, but she silently nods her head, deciding she wasn’t going to push your buttons for she had never seen you act like this before. Jimin does the same as well, now fearing getting on your wrong side.

“Good,” you let out a deep breath of air, unsure of where to start. 

This was the first time in your life that you were telling someone absolutely everything, and never had you imagined it’d be in this exact diner with some random stranger (who you’d just happen to be a first hand witness of his breakup) and your granddaughter. 

But a part of you couldn’t help but think that maybe …just maybe it was meant to be this way. That coming to this diner and witnessing what you’d just seen was the universe’s way of telling you that just because your fate was already sealed, didn’t mean you couldn’t change someone else’s. And so you continue, “So I guess…” you pause, “I guess we should start at the beginning.”

“It was the year 1992, Nirvana had just released their all too famous album ‘Nevermind’ months prior to the new year, marking the first shift that we’d see in pop culture during the 90’s. People my age were beginning to slowly throw away their mousse bottles and bright colored outfits and opting in for a more toned down look of mom-jeans and oversized band shirts.

I had just turned 17 at the time and moved here to the city of Gwacheon because of my dad’s job. You wouldn’t believe me but back then this city we know now was a snooze fest. It was nothing but government official buildings and a vacant town center that played outdated music. 

I remember being so bitter about moving because like any other teen who moved from one city to another, I had just barely begun to make friends in the city before, only to find out I’d have to leave months later.

I remember having a childish frown on my face the whole ride to the new neighborhood, convinced that by having a fit I’d somehow have my way and go back to the city before, but all in all that’s where the story begins…”

“Mom it’s just not fair!” you complain, crossing your arms while leaning your head against the window, watching as the new town you’d have to learn to call home was nearing with every stop, “I was just beginning to get used to that school, I was even supposed to go on a date!”

Sighing, your mom turns from the passenger's seat to face you, a mix of sympathy and annoyance on her face. It’d been over 4 hours already of hearing you complain in the car, and though your dad had learned to mute you out from the driver’s seat, your mom had to endure each and every complaint. 

“Y/N you know your dad’s job requires him to move around from time to time, it’s something out of our control, unless you’re magically going to find him a job out there that pays him as much as his current one then be my guest,” she stares at you knowingly, while you stay silent. 

She furrows her brows once she notices something about your appearance, “And what did I tell you about lining your lips like that? And that thing around your neck you’re wearing, you’re lucky it hasn’t suffocat—”

“It’s called a choker and everyone my age wears them mom,” you roll your eyes, wanting this conversation to be over now, despite it being you who started it, “times are changing meaning fashion is too.”

“I thought you kids liked the whole poofy hair and leg warmers kind of stuff. And that one man who's always on MTV,” she twiddles her fingers, trying to remember his name, “you know the one who danced as a zombie in that one video, how does it go again—” she begins to snap her fingers, humming the tune, “cause this is Thriller,” she sings.

“Michael Jackson mom, Michael Jackson,” you answer in annoyance, how the hell did she not know his name?

“Ahh that’s his name,” she laughs, “I’m sorry I’m not so invested in that kind of stuff like you young people are.”

You roll your eyes at this, “Mom I’m sure even grandma knows who Michael Jackson is, you’re just—” but before you could go on any further, the car suddenly comes to a halt.

“And here we are,” your dad finally speaks, an exhausted sigh coming out of his mouth. 

The moving truck, which was following right behind you guys had made its stop as well and while your parents immediately stepped out the car to begin attending to the family things, you just looked at your new home in a mix of dismay and surprise. It was definitely a nice home, it’s resemblance to the houses around you being a bit uncanny.

Suddenly, interrupting your deep thinking, your car door opens. 

Your mom, who for some reason had a complete 180 turn in attitude, now had an impatient look on her face along with an eyebrow raised. “You’re either going to help your dad take out our things or you’re coming with me to introduce ourselves to the neighbors.”

You stare at her for a moment, thinking to yourself which one you wanted to do. Though still slightly pissed off at your dad for his sudden bomb drop of news that you were all moving, you weren’t exactly in the mood to be social right now, let alone with your new neighbors as it would just ultimately mean having to accept the reality of your situation. “I think I’ll just—”

“Come with me? Great,” your mom answers for you, and you only groan in irritation. You couldn’t say you were shocked as this was only expected from her.

Getting out of the car, you begin to follow her to the next door neighbor’s house on the left side of your new home, your mom having come to the conclusion that the neighbors on the right side must’ve not been home due to the lack of cars in the driveway, “And remember y/n, be nice,” she reminds you, noticing the family SUV parked outside the house, she adds, “and who knows maybe there’s someone your age you can make friends with here.”

You stay silent, not sure if whether finding someone your age living inside the house would be a good or bad thing. 

At your last house, there was a girl your exact same age who despite being a very kind person, was just a little too talkative. You’d often randomly find her in your room after learning that your mom let her in because she thought that “that’s what teen girls like to do right? Gossip and cut up some magazines in their room.” Not only would you find yourself getting migraines all the time but you were just too nice to kick her out.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The muffled sound of what you could only assume were kids running around and things being thrown made you mumble “Oh great,” to yourself. If your mom got friendly with the neighbors like she somehow always did, you’d find yourself babysitting these kids sometime in the future for free. 

Minutes pass and nothing. 

Personally you took that as a sign of ‘do not disturb’ but your mom, being the relentless person she was, knocked one more time.

“Mom clearly they don’t want to—” and of course just as you were about to convince her to leave, the sound of the kids screaming and laughing comes to a sudden halt and the door swings wide open. 

There in front of you stood a middle-aged woman, probably near your mom’s age, who had her hair completely disheveled and one of her kids (a little girl) in her arms while the other (a little boy) gripping onto her right leg like a sloth holding onto a branch.

Despite her stressed appearance, there was still a sense of motherly tidiness to her. “Hello,” your mom greets with a grin on her face, “we just came to introduce ourselves as your new next door neighbors,” she sticks her hand out for the woman to shake, “I’m y/m/n.”

The woman, who looks a bit confused at first, suddenly snaps back to reality with a “Ohh” expression on her face remembering that the house aside from her having its “For Sale” sign removed not too long ago. 

She’s quick to shake your mom’s hand in return, “Kim Yerin,” she smiles, “and these are my twins, Minjun and Yeonha. Say hi you two,” she nudges the little girl in her arms who currently had her head rested on her mother’s shoulder while doing the same to the boy wrapped around her leg.

The two, clearly shy in front of strangers, only stare at the two of you with curious eyes, “And this must be your daughter I assume,” the woman faces her attention towards you, who had just been quietly watching the exchange, and waits for you to introduce yourself.

Your face slightly reddens when you feel your mother nudge you, “Y/N,” your introduction comes out as more of a whisper.

“And how old are you?” she curiously asks.

“Just turned seventeen,” you answer, an awkward smile forming on your face.

And as if a lightbulb suddenly went off on her head, a huge grin appears on her face, “You’re my older sons age,” she chuckles, “I don’t know if he’s come back home yet,” she mumbles looking behind her and your nerves begin to rise as you know what she’s about to do, “Seokjin!” she yells loud enough that her voice echoes across the walls of her home, “Give me a moment,” she flashes you two a smile before slightly closing the door, placing her foot in the ridge in order to create a crack so that it wouldn’t be completely closed. “Seokjin!” she calls for her son again, and soon you hear the sound of feet scuffling down the stairs.

“You and that camcorder, we have guests,” you hear her say.

“Say hiiii,” a voice behind the door says and you soon hear the kids giggle. 

Yerin opens the door all the way once again, and to your surprise you come to face a tall boy with a camcorder blocking most of his face. 

With the lens facing your direction, a whispered “Woah,” then comes out of his mouth. The sound of the lens zooming in causing your eyebrows to furrow in confusion.

“Seokjin,” his mother says more harshly, making him set the camera down and finally reveal his face. And once he did… wow were you surprised. 

Though he was sporting what you considered an outdated mullet, the boy was relatively handsome. Currently dressed in a simple black fitted long sleeve shirt and cuffed blue jeans, the young man stuck his hand out for you to shake, a small smile gracing his lips.

“Seokjin but you can call me Jin for short,” he politely introduces himself.

Awkwardly avoiding eye contact, you return the shake, “Y/N.”

“Seokjin, I was just telling y/n here that you two are the same age, maybe you could show her around school this Monday,” she suggests, and your mom is quick to chime in.

“Maybe he can show her around town right now, I’m sure she’d love that, wouldn’t you y/n? That’s if he can of course,” she adds and your eyes widen at the suggestion. Soon it becomes apparent that both you and Jin are feeling flustered at both your mothers’ intrusiveness.

“I d-d—” you stutter.

“Mom…” he begins, his ears reddening. Unbeknownst to you, you’d soon find out that it was something that only occurred whenever he was nervous.

“I’ll even lend you the car this one time,” his mother says, grabbing the keys from the key rack next to door and handing them to him.

A silence momentarily fills the air, awkwardness seeping deep until Mrs. Kim breaks it, “Well go you two! me and Mrs….”

“Y/L/N,” your mom completes for her.

“Will be here drinking tea inside and waiting for you to return,” she gently pushes Jin, who had just put on his Converse, out the door while your mom begins to make her way inside, “And remember to drive safe Seokjin,” she says for a final time before practically slamming the door shut.

The two of you stand there for what feels like forever, staring at anything but each other’s eyes. 

“Sorry about that, my mom can be a bit… pushy,” he says, and you want to tell him that it's fine, that your mom is exactly the same, but the words can’t seem to come out. “So…” he mumbles, barely audible to the ear, “Where should we go first?” he asks fiddling with keys in his hands, which only causes you to look at him in confusion. Did he forget you weren’t from here?

“Um…” you say, and slowly he fits the puzzle pieces and realizes what exactly he had asked.

“Oh right,” he awkwardly laughs, scratching the back of his neck as a nervous gesture. 

You notice that he’s still holding his camcorder with the other hand, its small red button still glowing, and so out of nowhere you voice the first question that came to your mind.

“Is that thing still recording?” you ask which averts his attention to the grey bulky object in his hand.

“Oh I must’ve forgot to turn it off,” he says, genuinely surprised at his lousy mistake, “My bad,” he adds and you shake your head in a way to say that it was fine. “So … are you hungry?” he kindly asks, and you think to yourself for a moment … the two of you had to go somewhere as it wasn’t like you could just walk right back in and lie.

Gently, you shrug your shoulders, “Yeah I can go for something to eat,” you say, which by now was the longest sentence he’d heard you speak since your introduction to him.

“Great,” he smiles, making his way towards the Hyundai SUV with you following close behind. To your surprise he walks over to your side and opens the door “like a gentleman” before entering the car himself. You mumble a quiet “thank you,” in return.

It’s once he turns on the ignition that you begin to dread the awkwardness inside the car. It wasn’t that you weren’t a social person because truly you were, or at least you always tried to be. You were just never good at initiating conversations first because honestly, who was? The image of your mom immediately came to your mind, but she was different. That lady could spark a conversation with a plant if she really wanted to.

“And here’s the number one song in the country for a third week straight, Emotions by Mariah Carey!” the radio host announces and soon the famous tune begins to play causing Jin to tap his finger against the driving wheel, clearly a fan of the song. 

You on the other hand kept your attention on the view outside, noting how boring this town was. From the dull buildings to the empty streets, everything was just so boring. But you couldn’t complain too much, for in a couple of months from now you’d be well off on your way to a college in the city of Seoul, which even though it wasn’t too far from here, it was still much more populated.

“So y/n,” Jin lowers the music down, “where did you move from?” he asks, an attempt at making conversation while driving.

“Buk district in Busan,” you answer in a short and precise manner.

“Oh…” he simply says, “Did you like it over there?”

The delivery of the question causes you to quietly chuckle to yourself, “Yeah I did,” you smile to yourself remembering the friends you had made over there, but almost immediately you remember that any chance of ever seeing them again was long gone, and a frown soon replaces the small smile.

Jin notices the change in facial expression from you, “Well I’m sure you’ll like it around here,” he attempts to comfort you, “I know things may look a little different, hell maybe even a little boring,” he laughs, “but trust me you’ll learn to love this place,” he flashes you a reassuring smile.

To that you could only feign a look of happiness. Not wanting to be a complete asshole, you try and think of something you could ask him, something to spark a conversation like he was trying to. 

“It’s Jin right… “ you ask, and to that he nods, “um…” you hum, “how old are your siblings?” you stifly ask, adding an extra comment at the end, “I heard them being pretty um … hyper…  before my mom knocked.”

Immediately a smile appears on his face, “Ahh Minjun and Yeonha,” he chuckles, “they’re four but turning five in a couple of months. They’re a handful,” he jokes around, “but we wouldn’t have it any other way,” he says, referring to him and the rest of his family.

“And they’re your only siblings?” 

He nods, shrugging while answering, “Yeah, but I always wanted siblings growing up and so to not only get one but two at the same time was pretty cool,” he glances at you, “what about you?”

You nod your head no, “My mom told me that once she had me and dealt with all the sleepless nights due to me crying all the time, that she knew one was enough,” you manage to joke around, the atmosphere in the car now becoming less tense.

“I think my parents thought the same way, but surprises happen,” he laughs, “I mean it’s probably a good thing that I was pretty old when they were born. It meant an extra set of hands to help around the house especially considering my dad’s always working.” 

And at the mention of his father you couldn’t help but grow a little curious. He was the only person you hadn’t been introduced to and despite Jin’s mother being an overall gorgeous woman, you assumed that Jin must’ve gotten his most prominent features from his dad as his mother didn’t really resemble him.

“What does he work in?” you continue the flow of the conversation.

“He’s a finance manager for one of the many corporation companies you’ll find around here,” and to that he frowns, “I’m assuming your dad must work in a similar field.”

You look at the window again, “Yeah,” you sigh, “so I guess a lot of people around here work in the business field.” 

“I think that’s what causes this place to be a little boring sometimes,” he comments, focusing on the road in front of him, “The lack of creativity,” and by looking at the buildings and overall aura of the town, you understand what he means, “People here already have expectations set on them, and with the pressure of being successful, no one ever really takes the risk of pursuing what they’re really passionate about.”

“Hm,” you hum, unsure of what to add to that, for Jin had hit the nail on its head.

“Butttttt,” he sings, “when you meet people like me you’ll realize not everyone around here is the same,” and with that he piques your curiosity, the car suddenly coming to a halt.

Looking out the window, you notice you’re in front of an old school diner, it’s neon lights currently turned off because of the daylight. Not that it really mattered, as the bright cherry red and blue color painted walls were definitely enough to grab anyone’s attention. 

Through the see through glass you notice a group of guys sitting at one of the booths, staring at the two of you as you both exited the car. A mixture of both excitement (which you assumed was directed at Jin) and confusion (which was probably directed on you) on their faces.

“Come on, follow me,” Jin says, leading you inside to the group of boys who looked around your age. 

They’re quick to greet Jin, practically shouting his name across the diner. It must’ve been a regular occurrence because none of the waiters even turned to focus their attention on them, “Somehow I knew you guys would be here,” Jin teases.

One of the boys rolls their eyes, “So are you going to introduce us to your new lady friend?” he smiles, and immediately the spotlight is set on you, both you and Jin standing in front of their booth.

“Y/N this is Yoongi,” Jin points at the boy who asked the daring question, “This is Taehyung,” he points at the boy next to him, “and finally this is Namjoon,” he points at the final boy across from them, “You guys this is y/n. She just moved here from Busan.”

“Ahh Busan!” the black haired boy, Taehyung, says excitedly, “I once had a pen pal from there,” he trivially says causing the other boys to laugh.

“Ahh Taehyung and his pen pals,” Yoongi shakes his head, tapping the boys shoulders, “And how did that one out of the many turn out?” he asks in a joking manner, only causing Taehyung to pout, knowing Yoongi was teasing him.

“Hmm,” he groaned, “It’s only been a couple of months without a reply, that doesn’t mean we’re not friends anymore!”

“Yeah Yeah Yeah,” Yoongi rolls his eyes again, scooting to the side to make space for you, “Well don’t just stand there, sit,” he lightly teases, and you glance at Jin as if to confirm if it was okay to do so. He smiles at your shyness, confident that you’d get along with his friends just fine, it’d just take some warming up on your part until then. 

Setting his camcorder down on the table, he takes a seat next to Namjoon while you take yours next to Yoongi and Taehyung.

“So y/n,” Namjoon speaks up, “how are you liking it here so far?” But before you can think of a response, Jin answers for you.

“She literally just moved here,” he glances at the clock on the wall, “like an hour ago,” he laughs, “I don’t even think she’s unpacked her stuff.”

“Well don’t expect too much,” Yoongi says, contradicting what Jin had told you earlier, “this place is a snooze fest!” he dramatically adds, only causing Jin to nudge him with his leg from under the table, “Hey it's true, if it weren’t for you guys I’d be dying of boredom all the time.”

“Which is exactly why we need to show y/n the best spots in town to visit and how to have some fun,” Jin declares and to that, the boys shrug, not minding the new addition to their group.

“Well wasn’t that easy,” you think to yourself, it seemed making friends wasn’t as hard as you thought it would be.

“As long as you’re not some kind of party pooper then—”

“Like there's parties in town to even poop at,” Taehyung interrupts causing Yoongi to look at him with a “Huh?” expression making everyone including yourself laugh out loud.

“You do realize it’s not literal—” but before he could continue, Yoongi raises his hand to cover his face, “You and that camera Jin,” and immediately you follow suit, having failed to notice that Jin had turned on his camcorder. Taehyung instead of covering his face, poses by flashing two peace signs, while Namjoon flashed his dimpled smile once the camera was pointed to him.

“Ahh why do you feel the need to record everything?” Yoongi asks, still covering his face.

“You’ll thank me later,” Jin says, “Come on y/n say hiiii,” he begins to near the camera to your face.

“Does he always do this?” you ask his friends around him, and to that they nod.

“He says it’s his practice for becoming a director in the future, but….” Namjoon playfully scoffs, “I don’t see the point in recording absolutely everything.”

“Because I want to make sure when I find the project I want to create, I’ll have all the film I need.” Slowly you take your hands off your face once you notice he wasn’t going to relent anytime soon, “Come on, you know you wanna smileeee,” he sings, and slowly but surely you smile indeed. An awkward one, but a smile nonetheless.

“Well cheers to a new friendship,” Taehyung flashes you his signature boxy smile, raising his milkshake drink in the air, Namjoon and Yoongi imitating the action. You and Seokjin on the other hand create an imaginary motion as if you had drink in your hands, grateful for the blossoming friendship in the making.

“After that first day in Gwacheon, Seokjin along with his friends showed me the best spots in town, whether it was somewhere to eat or somewhere to simply get a good view, they were showing me things that proved the boring town to be different than what it seemed. 

Seokjin would especially be eager to show me his favorite spots, always recording my reactions to first time meals or whenever he’d show me a new location. When I’d ask him why, he’d tell me it was because it was like watching a kid eat candy for the first time.

Soon I’d find myself hanging out with him the most, I’m not sure if it was because we were next door neighbors or maybe it was because he was my first friend here, but it wasn’t like I was complaining. It seemed as if with every time we hung out, I was learning something new about him, never a day too dull…”

“You’re not even blowing into it,” Jin complains, watching as you blew air into the Mario game cartridge, your face getting red at your serious effort, “Let me see,” he says, but to that you stubbornly refuse, continuing to blow heavy puffs of air into it.

For the past hour the two of you had been playing his new Mario game on the Nintendo SNES, but out of nowhere the game completely blacked out. 

Suspecting that there must have been built-up dust in the cartridge, you took it as your responsibility to blow air into it.

“Fine,” you hiss, passing him the game.

“Ah don’t be like that either,” he teases, squeezing your cheek with his hand.

“Hey!” you cry out and he raises his hands to his defense.

“Sorry I can’t help it,” he laughs, “they’re just so…” he pauses, “squeezable?”

You flip him off, only making him laugh even more, “Just fix the game already,” you mumble, not actually offended, but pretending to be which he of course was used to by now.

Knock. Knock.

“Seokjinnieeee!” the sound of his younger sister’s voice, Yeonha, fills the room. Immediately she goes to tackle him, and Jin (pretending that she was stronger than him) playfully throws himself on the floor only causing her to go into a fit of giggles. 

Then out of nowhere you feel tiny arms wrap themselves around your shoulders, “Y/Nieeee,” Minjun blitzes you from behind, a grin now appearing on your face. 

With his arms still wrapped around your shoulders, you get up from the floor and begin to run around the room, pretending to be an airplane soaring across the sky.

“Do that too! Do that too!” Yeonha commands Seokjin, forcibly wrapping her arms around his very broad shoulders. 

And soon the two of you find yourselves going at “war” with one other, purposely missing each other whenever it’d look like you two would crash as a scare effect for the kids.

By the time you two were all done, you were out of breath and completely exhausted. “Again, again, again!” you hear the two kids squeal, but you were just way too tired to go at it a second time.

Feigning a sad expression on your face, you say, “I’m sorry, I have to be back for dinner soon at my house, but next time I see you I promise you we’ll do that again for you guys.”

Both of the kids, with a saddened expression on their faces, simultaneously go “Aww.” but completely understand, knowing you were never one to falsify your promises.

“Wait you do?” Seokjin asks, completely believing your lie. Glaring at him, you wink at him in a knowing way, and though it takes him a while, he quietly says “Ohh.” once he understands. Scratching the back of his neck, he says, “How bout I walk you out haha,” he innocently smiles with his eyes closed.

“Byeeee Y/N,” the kids say, their attention already on something else.

Waving goodbye, you and Jin make your way downstairs, greeted by his mom, who had used to the time that you two spent playing with kids to make dinner, 

“Already leaving Y/N?” she asks when she spots your backpack in your hand, “I made japchae, I’m sure your mom wouldn’t mind you staying for dinner,” she kindly suggests, but you politely nod your head no.

“It’s fine Mrs. Kim,” you say, “I don’t want to lessen the servings any more than I should.”

“You sure I can always—” she’s about to say something until she meets Jin’s expression, which was one of panic. Subtly he was nodding his head in a way to say that she should drop it, not only his ears, but his face becoming red. Softly chuckling to herself, she drops the subject, “Ahh well have a good night y/n.”

“Goodnight Mrs. Kim,” you dismiss yourself, Jin following right behind you as you make your way out the door.

“Whew I sure am tired,” you say once you hear the door behind you close, now standing on his front porch, the sun beginning to set, “We didn’t even get to work on our calculus homework,” you mention, feigning a chuckle. 

Jin shrugs, “I doubt we were gonna work on it either way,” he laughs changing the topic, “So y/n um…” he pauses, feeling a lump in his throat form as he nervously rocked back and forth, “I’ve been wanting to ask you something I just don’t know how you’ll react…”

You look at him with a genuine clueless expression on your face. Moments of silence pass before you respond, “Well go on ahead,” you laugh, “you know you can tell me anything,” you smile at him.

And for a moment it feels as if the words can’t come out, the fear of being denied overwhelming the feeling of hope, “Um well…” he gulps, “you know it’s been a couple of months since you moved here and well…” he avoids eye contact with you, “I feel like I see you all the time…” he continues, and for a small second you become scared … Did you do something? Did he no longer ever wanna see you again? With that thought, you feel your stomach drop, “And well I wanted to tell you that I—”

“Oh y/n honey, you forgot your notebook!” Jin’s mom suddenly opens the door, interrupting the moment and catching the both of you by surprise. 

Jin immediately shoots his mom a “What are you doing?” look, but it seems like she didn’t catch onto it as she continued having a huge smile on her face. Oh what a kind … oblivious … woman she could be sometimes.

“O-oh,” you stutter, still in a state of surprise at her sudden intrusion, “Um thank you Mrs. Kim, um I should get going!” you awkwardly laugh, “Um I’ll see you at school tomorrow Jin!” you wave goodbye, practically running back to your house. The last thing you hear before closing your own door was the sound of Jin groaning, “Moooom!”

“Ah y/n you made it just in time for dinner,” your own mother greets you, “For a moment I thought you’d spend dinner with the Kims’ for another night,” she teases, causing a ferocious blush to appear on your cheeks.

“What makes you say that?” you mumble while avoiding eye contact, only causing her to send you a knowing look.

Deciding she’d play along with your oblivious act this once, she shrugs, “Hmm I don’t know, maybe because there’s a special someone you like in that house of theirs.” 

Your blush deepens.

“Not true,” is all you can muster, “We’re just close friends, that’s all,” you state, but deep down you knew you could only wish for more.

“Mmm well y/n, time is ticking,” she playfully sings, “if you don’t confess soon, who knows when you’ll get the chance once you’re off at college. Just ask your dad, he had to wait 4 years until I came back to our hometown to confess. Isn’t that right y/f/n?” she turns to your dad, who was currently watching Cheers on the television.

Getting up from the couch, he makes his way over to you two, “What’s this about a boy I’m hearing?” he turns on his “Protective Dad” persona.

To that, you roll your eyes, “Dad,” you laugh as he ruffles your hair, placing a kiss to your forehead, “I need to go do my homework,” you announce, needing an excuse to get to your room and out of this conversation.

Your mom narrows her eyes at you, knowing exactly what you were doing but choosing to act dumb about it, “Then what are you doing here young lady, go get to it!” she commands, watching you immediately turn and make your way up the stairs.

“Ah kids these days,” your mom says under her breath, shaking her head in amusement, silently rooting for the two of you.

“I wouldn’t find out that Jin was trying to confess to me that night until a couple of years later in some random conversation, and when I tell you there were several other attempts on both his part and mine to confess, I really mean it. But it was almost as if the universe was waiting for the right moment to let it happen. I just never would’ve thought that the moment would be one so …. unexpected ….”

“So how is he?” you ask Jin’s mother, placing the care basket you made for Jin on his dining table.

“Well you know it is,” she laughs, “no parent really wants to see their kid high off of anesthesia, especially because he’s just been talking complete nonsense for the past hour and refusing to take a nap. But I prefer this than having him walk around with his wisdom teeth aching him.”

You nod your head in understanding, “You don’t mind if I—” and she nods her head yes, understanding what you were insinuating.

“Go for it,” she smiles, “he’ll probably scold me tomorrow for allowing you to see him in that state, but I’m sure he’ll get over it,” she chuckles.

And without a moment of hesitation, you make your way up the stairs and into his room, the first thing you hear is your name being loudly shouted. 

“Y/N!” he slurs out your name, his high pitched laughter following right after. 

A grin immediately appears on your face as you watch the boy who even though was usually in a joking mood most of the time, now had that same mood heightened because of the anesthesia.

You take a seat on the corner of his bed, “How are you feeling Jin?” you ask, genuinely wanting an answer.

He shoots you a toothy grin and gives you not one, but two thumbs up, “I’m feeling amaaaazinnggg,” he sings, “especially now that you’re here,” he dramatically winks.

You feel your face redden, “This is the effects of the anesthesia,” you tell yourself, not allowing yourself to have false hope.

“Y/N Y/N Y/N,” he hums, “you’re so prettyyyyyy,” he stammers his words, his swollen cheeks making it hard to take him seriously.  

“Really? You think?” you go along with him, to which he nods.

“Veryyyyy,” he adds, “too bad I can’t completely see you!” he exclaims, only causing your brow to quirk in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t see you!” he repeats in a sardonic tone, almost as if you were dumb for not understanding. It isn’t until you notice that the bangs of his mullet, which was usually parted, were now prickling at his eyes, probably causing his view of you to be blocked by certain strands of hair.

Laughing to yourself, you grab one of the hairpins you had on and scoot closer to him, carefully clipping his bangs to the side, “Ta da,” you giggle at Jin’s childlike expression, “Now you can see me,” you say.

“Now I can see you,” he repeats in awe, and maybe it was because of the effects of the anesthesia but for some reason you looked much more ethereal than usual. Suddenly, out of nowhere Jin grabs his camera from the bed stand, and you look at him in amazement.

You let out a breath of disbelief, “How is it that even when you’re high off of anesthesia, you still somehow manage to pull out that camera of yours?” you ask him.

“Because y/n, 50 years from now the world needs to know how pretty you areeeee,” he looks at you like a lovestruck fool, his eyes halfway closed as he points the lens in your direction.

“Who would’ve thought that Jin could be such a flirt?” you think to yourself.

“I’m not!” Jin pouts, and it’s only then that you realize you must’ve said the thought out loud, “I’m only flirty with you because I like youuuuu,” he gushes.

“Jin you don’t know what you’re saying,” you blink slowly, not sure whether to believe the words coming out of his mouth.

“Oh but I do!” he barks back like a toddler, “I’ve been trying to confess to you for sooooooo long but I get interrupted EACH. AND. EVERY. TIME,” he complains, and suddenly you feel your heart pound ten times faster, an idiotic smile now forming on your face, “like seriously, every time I get the courage to finally fess up, something just has to happen,” he rambles on, now turning off the camera, something you take note of.

Affectionately, you play with some of the strands of his hair from the back, watching him yawn in the process, “Come on silly boy, I think it’s time for you to sleep,” and surely he does in no time, his soft snores filling the room. 

It’s only then that you grab a post-it note from his desk, scribbling something you were sure he’d read the next day. Happily making your way downstairs, excited for what was to come.

That same night when Jin groggily woke up from his nap, he was confused as to why he had a glitter hair pin in his hair, and why his camera had a post-it note attached to it on his wooden desk. Grabbing the camera, he immediately recognized the handwriting.

‘check your footage from yesterday, you can thank me later xx. y/n.’

And it was once he did that he could’ve swore he felt his eyes go as wide as saucers, his mouth gaping completely open. “I-I confessed,” he says to himself, unsure of whether he really believed it or not, “I confessed!” he repeats to himself, this time much more confident and enthusiastic about it.

Deciding he had no time to waste, he quickly ran down his stairs, his mom confusingly staring at him as he began to grab his jacket and shoes, “And where do you think you’re going?” she asks. 

“Mom, I confessed!” he excitedly shouts before slamming the door behind him shut, ready to knock on your door.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Oh Jin!” your mother greets him, amused by his swollen right cheek, “What a surprise,” she chuckles.

“Hello Mrs. Y/L/N,” he respectfully greets, “any chance y/n’s here?” he politely asks, hoping you were home.

Based on the excited look on Jin’s face she could only imagine that he had only good news to share, and so she didn’t hesitate to call you down, “Y/N!” she shouts, and as if you were waiting for it, your bedroom door opens without a second even passing. 

Quickly you make your way down, your mom already having a sense as to what was going to happen by the excited expression on both of your faces. Closing the door once you made your way out, she immediately presses her ear against it.

“Y/N,” Jin breathes out, “I-I confe-OW,” he loudly groans, completely forgetting about his mouth still being sore from the procedure, only causing you to laugh. Even now the universe was finding ways to delay the inevitable.

“You confessed,” you instead say for him, and he nods excitedly, holding his mouth in pain. But it’s only then that he realizes … just because he confessed didn’t mean you automatically felt the same way.  

His face reddens. 

Ready to make a dash for it, you grab his hand before he could. A touching smile now on your face, “I like you too,” you say, squeezing his hand in reassurance. And immediately you see the relief wash over him, his tense shoulders relaxing.

“I’d kiss you, but I don’t think I can move my lips,” he manages to mumble out, the sudden jolt of pain minutes earlier now making it hard for him to talk.

You giggle at this, then tippy toeing and placing a peck to his lips, deciding that it’d be enough to satisfy the two of you. And without notice your mom opens the door, making the two of you jump in surprise.

“Awwwww, finally!” she pretends to weep, and you’re quick to furrow your brows.

“Mom!”

“And so that was the exact moment our friendship had officially blossomed into something more… I had officially fallen in love with the boy next door. And so we spent the rest of the school year doing whatever it is high school couples do. The occasional hand holding here and there, the timid kisses, but most importantly… despite there now being a shift in our relationship, we still spoke to one another like the best of friends we were before. Because at the end of the day he was still just the boy next door.

But of course soon we’d find ourselves having to confront the looming topic over our heads … college.”

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The door opens.

“It arrived,” you frantically say to the boy in front of you, an envelope in your hand. He motions for you to come in, his heart now beating as fast as yours.

Sitting down on the dining chair, you watch as he runs up the stairs to his room in order to grab the envelope that had arrived at his house a day prior to yours. 

The sealed envelopes, which read ‘Seoul National University” in a big blue font along with its famous logo stamped onto it were now being held by your guys’ jittery fingers. 

“When are they getting here?” you ask Jin, who had just seated himself.

Glancing at his watch, he answers, “Any second now,” his foot bounces up and down out of nervousness, “I told them to be here an hour earlier than planned because I knew they’d get here late,” he says, patting himself in the back for his trick.

“Well they need to get here faster,” you complain, tapping your nails against the table.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Finally,” you groan, watching the rest of your friends walk into Jin’s kitchen.

“Sorry we caught traffic,” Taehyung lies, munching on his last fry.

You roll your eyes at the poor attempt, ”You’re such a bad liar,” you say, deciding not to press him any further on the issue. “Let’s just get to opening these things.”

The boys nod, taking a final deep breath in, ready to rip open the envelopes. 

“Wait,” Jin suddenly demands, “Let me set the camera,” and immediately he’s met with dramatic eye rolls and groans, but you guys allow him to do so nonetheless. “Okay you guys, remember whatever the results are behind these, we all have to promise ourselves that it won’t change anything. It doesn’t make anyone better than the rest, and we’ll all certainly still be friends in college,” he says and you all nod in agreement, for a moment forgetting that whatever the results were inside your envelopes, you’d all still remain friends no matter what.

“Okay, 1..2...3,” you count down, and at the same time you all pull out your decision letters.

“I got in!” Namjoon yells excitedly.

“Me too!” Taehyung says after him, a grin on his face.

“Holy shit, me too,” Yoongi repeats after him.

“Me as well,” Seokjin says nonchalantly, not exactly caring for his acceptance but more about yours as he immediately turns his attention towards you. 

Having watched you stay up late studying for the entrance exams for the past couple of weeks, he knew just how nervous you were about these letters and as both your boyfriend and your friend, he couldn’t help but root for you much more than himself.

But it’s once he sees the saddened expression on your face that he knows …

“Y/N…” Taehyung whispers in sadness.

“I—” you slouch your shoulders, looking away from their gazes, “I didn’t get in,” you murmur, your voice signaling that you were on the verge of crying. 

Jin is quick to turn off the camera and goes to wrap his arms around you, placing a soft kiss on top of your head and softly rubbing your back in an effort to comfort you. He sends a look to the boys as if to say he thinks it’d be best for them to leave, for now at least.

They nod in understanding, beginning to make their way out until they hear you say “Wait!” and at an attempt to ease the tension, you try and hide the sadness in your voice, “Congratulations, truly,” you send them a weak smile before they leave, and they send you a small smile in return, sad that their friend didn’t get into the college of their dreams.

“Hey don’t cry,” Jin comforts you, giving you more pecks on top of your head, feeling his heart swell more and more by the second.

“I thought I worked so hard,” you sniffle, the tears slowly falling down your cheeks.

“Hey don’t say that! You did work hard princess,” he scolds you, pulling you into a tight hug and tipping your chin up so that he could look at you properly, a soft look on his face while he brushed your hair away from your face, “That stupid school doesn’t know what they’re missing out on, you hear me?” He squeezes your cheek when you don’t reply, “Heyyyyyyyy, don’t ignore meeee,” he teases, placing a soft kiss on your lips.

All you can do is roll your eyes once you feel your cheeks get hot, damn him and his everlasting effect on you. “My dad’s going to be so disappointed,” you mumble, already dreading the conversation. The sole reason you even wanted to get into that school was to impress him, to make him feel that he didn’t have to worry about your future.

“No he’s not,” Jin states in confidence, and you look at him in curiosity, “because your dad is nothing like mine,” he jokes, reassuring you, “Because I’m sure that for both your mom and dad, as long as you’re happy and pursuing whatever it is you want to, they’ll be more than happy to support you along the way.”

“You think so?” you ask him, a small pout on your lips.

“Ah I know so princess,” he gives you a small comforting smile, “Come on let’s watch a movie and eat some popcorn before you go home. I just bought Goodfellas on VHS the other day,” he says, leading you to the living room, the heavy feeling that had been weighing down your chest, not so heavy anymore.

“And so that night I told my parents the decision SNU had made, and just like Jin said they were completely supportive, not even the slightest disappointed. Luckily, the college that did accept me was not at all far away from Seoul National University meaning Jin and I did not have to worry about a ‘long distance relationship’ because trust me, a long distance relationship in the 90s was even ten times more harder to manage than how you kids have it today with your phones.

Honestly, our first year in college passed by in the blink of an eye. I’m not sure if it's because I was always with Jin and our group of friends running around in a big old city with so many more different things to explore, but by the time we reached our second year, we were beginning to ask ourselves where time was going by…. “

“Cheers to our first year!” you and the boys lift up your drinks of Soju, clinking the bottles as a way of commemorating your first successful year in college.

Laughter fills the air while you all talk about the good and the bad of college, from the nightmare drunk stories to typing last minute essays on a jammed computer inside the library. “To think we were all panicking about how we’d do,” Yoongi says, shaking his head.

“I know, but now we have to start declaring our majors soon,” Taehyung mentions, “I still don’t know whether I want to major in sociology or psychology…”

“Me neither, I’ve been leaning towards linguistics,” Namjoon adds, “What about you y/n?” he asks you.

You think about it for a moment before answering, “Engineering Physics.”

“Woah,” Namjoon looks at you in shock, “Good luck to you,” he jokingly scoffs.

You shrug, a certain glimmer appearing in your eyes as you make eye contact with him, “Don’t you find it interesting? The possibilities of there being more than one universe out there, different dimensions, hell maybe even a parallel universe!” you say in excitement, clearly passionate about the field, “Namjoon there’s probably hundreds of you who like to pick their nose just like you!” you throw in the playful jab, making him flip you off while the rest of the boys laugh their asses off.

“What about you Jin?” Yoongi asks his longtime friend, who for some reason tonight was quieter than usual, something clearly on his mind.

And as if brought back to reality he looks at all you with a surprised expression, “O-oh,” he stutters, “um Business Administration?” he says, unconvinced of his own answer.

Yoongi nods his head, “As expected, as expected. Business does run in the family,” and though you know Yoongi meant no harm in the comment, you couldn’t help but notice how tense Jin got after hearing it, as if it only further killed his mood.

“Hey,” you softly whisper into his ear, grabbing his attention while Yoongi begins to talk about something else, “everything good?” 

Immediately his expression softens, and he quietly nods yes, not wanting you to worry. But no matter how well Jin thought he was at hiding emotions like sadness or anger from you, any change in his behavior, albeit small or large, was always obvious to you.

Making a mental note to talk to him later, you subtly keep an eye on him for the rest of night, your mind wondering what it could be.

Jin plays with your loose strands of hair while he watches you soundly sleep, your skin warm and slick with the efforts of your earlier endeavors.

It hadn’t been long since he moved into this apartment with Namjoon, and though you weren’t exactly officially living with them, with the number of mornings he’d wake up to having you beside him, he and Namjoon might as well have considered you their third roommate. 

Not like Joon was complaining, the breakfasts he’d wake up to you making completely cancelling out the occasional use of his ear plugs for nights like these…..

Trailing his fingers across your shoulders, he traces the curves of your collarbones, savoring the moment. It wasn’t until he suddenly heard you speak that he realized you weren’t asleep at all, “Can’t sleep?” you ask, opening your eyes.

“Y/N, go to sleep, it’s late,” he mumbles in the darkness.

Ignoring him, you move to make yourself more comfortable, “Something’s bothering you,” you simply state, and that he can’t deny.

“Y/N... “ he’s about to begin, but you weren’t having any of it.

“Seokjin,” you say his full name, something you’d rarely done since you met him, “you know you can tell me,” you reassure, squeezing his hand, “it’s my job to listen,” you add for extra comfort.

And for a moment he looks as if he’s contemplating something, not really accustomed to being the one talking. 

Especially because if you were to ask anyone who’s ever known Jin, then they’d tell you they’d almost never seen the man in a bad nor sad mood. 

Because for the sake of others, Jin had always been the one to remain cheerful when things were bad, the one to crack jokes even whenever he felt down, the one who liked imitating Mariah Carey’s whistle notes in the car while driving, the person everyone could always rely on whether it be for laughs, advice, or just anything. 

It was just who Jin was as a person.

He sighs once he’s made his decision to tell you, “You know how we were talking about declaring majors and stuff tonight?” 

Silently, you nod your head, and he sighs again, “Well I was thinking about something the other day…” he pauses, shifting his body to the side, leaning his head against his hand and now completely facing you, “Remember that first conversation we had in my mom’s car the day you moved into town, when I was taking you to diner?” He asks the rhetorical question, continuing with his thoughts, “How I said that people usually have expectations already set on them and with the pressure of being successful, no one ever truly takes the risk of pursuing what they’re passionate about?”

You nod again, wondering where this was going.

“It wasn’t until earlier this month when I revisited that conversation in the midst of everyone talking about declaring majors and their future careers that I realized that really I was just talking about myself,” he sighs, and suddenly everything becomes clearer to you, and a look of understanding becomes apparent on your face.  

He gulps before continuing, “For so long I’ve been so scared to seriously pursue directing and the world of entertainment all because of my fear of disappointing my dad because Yoongi’s right … business does run in my family and I don’t know if it’s cause I’m the oldest but there’s always been an expectation set on me. An expectation to be the best. An expectation to be successful.”

Slowly, you begin to run your hands through his hair, allowing him to talk as much as he wanted because you knew this was one of the very rare moments that he was going voice everything he had been thinking for so long.

“And so when I hear people like you or Taehyung or even just classmates talk so passionately about what they wanna do in the future I can’t help but wish I had that same courage to to pursue what I want. I mean hell, look at Yoongi pursuing a career in music and producing. I like business, I do, but it’s just not for me, and now just like how you and the rest of the boys are pursuing your dreams, I wanna pursue mine, no matter what it takes. For the first time in my life I want to be 100% selfish, I want to choose me.”

He remains silent after finishing his little speech, a signal that he now wanted your input. He needed to hear something, anything, for he was tired of bearing the weight of his worries by himself.

Gathering your thoughts, you give him a kiss to the lips before continuing, your heart swelling for the man in front of you, “Jin if you want to pursue your dreams then do it,” you grab his hand and kiss his knuckle, “Because I’m just as sure you’ll be successful in the future, plus it’s better to live a life without regrets than with…” you pause, “But I also don’t think it’d be right if I wasn’t rational with you. You’re gonna have to tell your parents, and it’s also important to know that like any other career there is a risk of not making it because at the end of the day that’s how life works and sometimes things are just out of our control… but the real question is if you’re willing to accept it if it happens…”

Jin breaks away his eye contact with you, your words sadly ringing true, “Hey,” you turn his head with your hand in order to have him face you again, now resting your hand on his cheek, “Everything will be okay,” you reassure, “I’ll be with you every step of the way,” you kiss his other cheek. 

To that, he smiles.

“Tomorrow,” he randomly says, only causing you to be confused until he continues, “Tomorrow I’m going home and telling my parents what I wanna do. And you’re coming with me… for moral support that is,” he shoots you a grin, and for a moment your eyes are wide in surprise because well… you certainly weren’t expecting him to do it so soon, “Please?” he pouts, making you roll your eyes playfully.

“Like you have to ask,” you say, tightly wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders and burying your face in the crook of his neck, a good night’s sleep following soon after.

“If only we had known things weren’t going to go down as smoothly as we thought it was…”

“Dad you don’t get it…” Jin pushes his hair back with his hand, a sign that he was stressed.

His dad scoffs, “What’s there not to get? You’re choosing something that’s a complete risk over something that has a future, a guaranteed solid one at that. Let’s be feasible here Seokjin...”

Silently you watch the exchange between father and son. Yeah, the two of you knew that there’d be some backlash to Jin’s decision from his parents (if not only his father) but to be here for over 3 hours now, watching the two go back and forth wasn’t what anyone had expected. Neither side relenting on why the other was wrong. But time was ticking, and soon one would pop, you just hadn’t expected it to be Jin first.

“I just can’t dad!” he shouts, interrupting his dad, his voice echoing across the walls. Momentary silence followed, enough to hear a pin drop fall, “I-I just can’t,” Jin’s voice breaks, his eyes desperately pleading for his dad to just once in his life understand.

A scornful laugh comes out of his dad’s mouth before he exhales a big deep breath, “Okay,” he monotonously states, and for a moment a flicker of hope appears in both Jin’s and your eyes, but as fast as it came, it left even quicker, “You can pursue your little venture into the world or entertainment and directing, but just know I never agreed to paying for a degree in Film, I agreed to one in Business. And so if you really want it that bad, it’s coming out of your pocket,”he declares, shocking everyone in the room. 

“Sungjin,” Jin’s mother, who had only watched the exchange like you the whole time, finally speaks up, in just as much as shock as you and Jin. Paying for college out of his pocket? That was almost impossible.

Jin’s father raises his hand, as if to let him continue, “Be grateful I’m still agreeing to pay for that apartment of yours, I’m not cruel enough to let my own son jump from place to place.”

Jin shakes his head, “No,” he says, and you look at him confused, “I’ll pay for my own apartment as well as everything else you help pay for,” with a hardened scowl now on his face he continues, “and I’ll prove you wrong,” he declares. 

His father could only look at him with skepticism until his own expression followed his son’s. The two really were two sides of the same coin.

“Come on y/n let’s go,” he scoffs, getting up from his chair and going to kiss his mom on the cheek, you politely (but also awkwardly) dismiss yourself, following him outside and into his car.

“Why the hell did you do that?” you finally ask, one of the many questions you had running in your head, “and how the hell do you plan on paying for everything out of your own pocket?”

“Because y/n,” he runs his hand through his hair, turning on the car in order to let the ignition warm up, “I want to prove him wrong,” he repeats his reasoning from earlier, shrugging his shoulders in the process, “I’ll just pick up extra hours at work, holiday season is starting soon and my manager being the lazy man he is would rather overwork an employee aka me than hire someone new.”

You pout, “Does that mean no more movie nights?” you whine, making him laugh.

“We’ll still have them princess,” he gives you a peck on the cheek, “Just not as frequent that’s all,” he then follows the kiss with a squeeze on the cheek, “meaning we have to savor them more,” he concludes, the two of you well on your way home, a happy couple once in love.

“This …. This is where our story slowly begins to take a bit of shift. It’s where the bright flowers we once held onto so tightly begin to slowly wilt when faced with the real world, where destiny and fate cross roads, creating and molding choices both within and out of our control…”

“Place your tassels to the left...” the students in the arena follow the command. “and congratulations to the new class of 1996!” the chancellor of SNU announces, and soon the sight of graduation caps being thrown left and right follows. 

You feel your throat go sore from the amount of cheering you’re doing on the stands, watching as Jin and your group of friends hug in celebration, following with excited waves directed towards you and Jin’s mother along with his siblings.

Jin’s father, who claimed he was too busy with work, wasn’t able to make it, not that it was much of a surprise to anyone. Ever since Jin declared his financial independence from his dad, their relationship wasn’t exactly a favorable one, not that there was ever much to work with. 

But in the end Jin understood his father and he understood why he couldn’t be supportive because like any other parent all Jin’s father wanted was to ensure Jin lived a successful life where he wouldn’t have to worry about finances and whether there’d be food on the table albeit it be for only himself or his future family.

The class song, “Fantasy” by Mariah Carey begins to play, and you feel your stomach cramp at laughing so hard because of Jin’s sudden dancing, the boys soon following his movements. You really had to take him to a Mariah Carey concert soon.

“Let’s go meet them in the parking lot,” Jin’s mother shouts over the chaos of people leaving the bleacher stands.

You nod, following her lead, all while helping Minjun and Yeonha (who were now 10) not get lost in the crowd. Once you make it to the parking lot, you find Jin, who had made it there before you all, and immediately you run to hug him, his siblings following suit.

His mom who's holding his famous old camcorder, records the moment, but once Jin spots it, he’s quick to cover his face by nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck. “How is it that the person always recording things, hates being recorded?” you chuckle, trying to push him off so that he’d have no choice but to be recorded.

“Mm don’t forget being pictured,” he mumbles, maneuvering you in a way that he could reach the camera in his mom’s hands, tackle her into a big hug and successfully get her to turn off the camera.

“Congratulations my Seokjin,” his mom kisses his cheek, ruffling his hair like she did when he was a kid. 

Jin, who ditched the mullet about two years ago, now sported a more clean cut look, resembling a comma in the front while still a little lengthy from the sides. In a way it made him look a bit more youthful, not that he had to worry, for that man truly did not age. You were sure that even now at 21 years of age, Jin was going to look like this for the rest of his life because 4 years ago at age of 17 he looked exactly the same. You could only hope your own genes did the same.

“Thanks mom,” he smiled.

“Now for a picture,” she said while pulling out a Kodak disposable camera from her purse, but before she could even attempt at taking a picture, Jin was already getting into his car.

“Ahh later mom, let’s just go eat for now,” he announces, “The graduation boy is really hungry,” he gives her the puppy dog eyes before entering the car.

She rolls her eyes, “Fine. We’ll meet you two over there,” she says, “Come on you two,” she motions to the two twins to follow her back to her car.

“I still can’t believe you wanna drive all the way out to that old diner in Gwacheon as a way of celebrating your graduation,” you say as Jin reverses out of his parking spot, one hand on the steering wheel while the rest of his body was turned to make sure that no cars were passing.

Once he was safely out of the parking lot, he then replies, “Because y/n, there’s nothing better than a nice BLT sandwich on a Saturday night, don’t you think?”

“They’re not even all that—” you’re about to lecture him until he interrupts.

“Ah Ah ah, I’m the graduation boy,” he pouts while driving, “We went all the way to Itaewon to try that Italian food you wanted so bad when it was your graduation day, and you didn’t hear me complain.”

You narrow your eyes at him, damn him …

“Mm,” you mumble.

“Oh I love this song!” Jin, with his right hand, turns up the volume to the radio, “Californiaaaa loveeee,” he repeats after the robot, the music now blasting in the background as he gets on the highway, now on your way back home.

“Passing” you the imaginary mic in his hand, he expects you to sing with him and for a moment you stare at him with a deadpan look until of course you smile at his foolishness, “California knows how to party,” you sing, passing him the “mic”.

“In the cityyyyy of LA,” he continues along, and it goes like this the whole car ride. The two of you going back and forth singing songs from famous artists such as the Backstreet Boys, Boyz II Men, Radiohead, Nirvana, and of course Jin’s favorite, Miss Mariah Carey.

And just like that the day goes by in the blink of an eye, from eating at the diner with his mom and siblings, to visiting your parents until finally the two of you found yourselves sitting on your porch just like the good old days. 

Resting your head against his shoulder, both of you stare at the sky above in silence, the stars out and shining bright tonight.

“We really graduated,” you say in disbelief, breaking the silence. Jin turns his attention to you, a small smile on his face.

“Crazy huh?” he interlocks his hand with yours, kissing the knuckles of it, “Time went by in the blink of an eye, and now we’re officially in the real world. Nothing but a tiny speck in such a large universe, almost like the stars,” he chuckles looking back up to the sky, and you gaze at him with a soft look in your eyes. If only he knew how much brighter he shined compared to them. 

“Jin…” you randomly say, “I love you,” and though he’s heard it come out of your mouth many many times before tonight, each and every time he did hear it, his heart swelled the same as the first.

Unlocking his hand from yours, he instead wraps his arm across your shoulder, gently bringing you closer to him, enough that you could even hear the sound of his heart beating. Something that not even a video camera could capture. This was a memory you two would just have to remember on your own when you are both old and grey.

“I love you too princess,” he whispers, “I love you too,” he repeats to himself, “You know, I’ve been thinking these days about our future...” you look up at him from your position, childlike curiosity now shown across your face, “I feel like since we’ve always lived moment to moment since we’ve met, I’ve never really asked you…” he pauses debating whether to ask, “what kind of future do you want?”

Softly chucking, you shrug, “You really wanna hear it?” you ask, and he furrows his brows, almost offended you’d even ask, but rather than scold you he simply nods, “Hmm..” you think for a moment, “I picture us both having successful careers and living in the big city while we’re at our peak, getting married on a whim and occasionally traveling the world in search of an adventure,” you pause, “but when the time comes to finally relax, then I’d want to move back here, to where it’s calm and quiet, buy ourselves a house and maybe we’d even have a kid, just one though,” you emphasize.

He arches his brow, “Just one?” he asks.

You nod your head, “After babysitting your siblings, yes, just one,” you repeat with laughter and he himself can’t help but laugh, “I think a girl preferably, but I wouldn’t be mad at a boy, They would probably take after you in looks,” you add, nudging his shoulder. 

He blushes for a moment, before faking smugness and winking at you.  

You laugh at his confidence before continuing, “And we’d show them the different places this town has just like how you showed me, enough that they’d want to stay here when they’re older,” Jin notices how your eyes glisten as you talk of a time that felt so far away, “And we’d be a small little happy family, supporting whatever it is that their dream will be. And then we’d grow old and grey, maybe have a couple of grandkids running around, and we’d simply be proud of the life we’ve built together—”

And before you could continue on any further, the feeling of his soft lips placed against yours interrupts you, nothing but passion exchanged in the kiss. It isn’t until you’re both out of breath that you break away, Jin immediately framing his hands over your cheeks, “Promise me?” he asks, and you wrinkle in confusion, “Promise me you’ll live a life you’re proud of?”

“As long as you do the same,” you softly answer in return, and silently he nods, “then let’s do it.”

“If only I knew … If only he had been honest with me that night then maybe things could’ve been talked about right then and there before it got out of control…”

Jin crumples the rejection letter and throws it in the trash, frustrated by yet another rejection letter from a directing internship. Tonight he was visiting his parents for dinner while you were out of town on a trip to Busan with some college friends you’d met your freshman year. Taking the opportunity of being by himself in your guys’ apartment, he shredded the number of rejection letters he’d received from several programs in the past couple of months. Too ashamed to show you them.

Looking at himself in the mirror, he couldn’t but feel frustrated. It’d been a year since the two of you had graduated college, and while your career in engineering physics was going great, he couldn’t say the same about his career in directing. Of course when you’d ask how everything was going, he’d feign a smile and say he was still waiting to hear back, guilty that he was incapable of telling you the truth.  

Fixing the yellow unbuttoned dress shirt he was wearing over his plain white t-shirt and striped vest, he combs a hand through his hair one last time before leaving, feeling as if his head was about to explode.

“I made Naengmyun, your favorite,” Jin’s mother sets the bowl of noodles down along with several other sides, making sure her oldest son was eating good tonight. She was also trying to mitigate the awkwardness that was in the air tonight, this being one of the very rare occasions Jin and his father spent time together. Over the last year, things still were still stiff between the two, Jin’s father still clearly not accepting of his career choice.

Jin, who didn’t have much of an appetite, stirred with his noodles, hoping his mother wouldn’t notice.

“So Seokjin…” his mothers begins once she seats herself, “how’s everything been going so far?” she asks, genuinely wanting to know what her son has been up to these days.

Jin, trying not to look too uninterested, gives a simple response, “Um it’s been going good,” he casually says.

She nods, “What about y/n?” she asks, always interested in hearing about you.

At this question, Jin seems to perk up more, this change in behavior not going unnoticed by someone else at the table, “Great,” he says, “she’s currently working at a paid internship for some technical writing company that specializes in space and astronomy,” he continues on, “she really seems to love it.” 

A smile appears on his mother’s face, happy to know that you were doing great. 

“But what about you?” the voice across the table suddenly asks, and Jin is met with the glare of his father, “you seem to have so much to say about y/n, but so little about yourself,” his dad comments, and Jin could physically feel his stomach drop, his words reminding him of what he just shredded at home not too long ago.

“What do you want me to say?” Jin asks, hiding his nervousness through a monotone voice.

His dad scoffs, “That you’re doing something with your life,” he says a little too harshly, “that you’re not living in the shadow of your girlfriend.”

“Sungj—”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Jin sneers in the same amount of attitude his dad had.

“Seokjin!” his mother shouts, “That’s your father you're speaking to,” she reminds him, believing that the practice of respect should still be something upheld no matter what, “Kids, go to your room,” she tells the twins, and without question they do.

Jin quickly calms himself down, just wanting to leave before this escalated any more, “It means that I told you that business was the way to go, but no you were so adamant on proving me wrong and pursuing your dreams that now you can’t even guarantee yourself an independent future!” his dad spat in return, his voice now raising with every sentence . The bottled feelings from years ago now spilling out... rapidly at that.

“Why is it that with you it’s always business, business, business?” Jin throws his hands in the air, “I mean really that’s all I’ve ever heard from you growing up! Jin you need to be like this, Jin you need to make sure you do this, Jin I need this from you,” he mocks his dad, “I mean really is that all you care about dad? Meeting your expectations? Following your footsteps?”

“I do it because you’re my son Seokjin! My son, who I thought I raised to think critically, to strive for success—”

“You think I’m not trying?” Seokjin shouts, his voice turning hoarse at the end, “You think I wanted to fail? To have to come to the realization that—” he stutters, “that shit’s not going how I planned it?” Jin’s mother feels her eyes brim with tears, “That while my long time girlfriend is on her way to becoming a star in her field that I’m stuck waiting tables with a useless degree in my pocket! Is that what you want me to say, dad? Is that it?”

He remains silent.

“You think I don’t know that I’ve made a mistake? That I don’t wake up with the dread of knowing that I’m not at all good for her? That while she could be with someone who makes just as much money as she does and actually provides for her, she decides to stick with me? The person who can hardly offer her anything?” rather than feeling a weight come off his shoulders, Jin feels an extra burden get added on, almost feeling suffocated.

“Well then I’m sorry dad! I’m sorry I couldn’t be the magnificent first born son you wanted!” by now tears are spilling out of Jin’s eyes in such a rapid pace that his vision blurs.

All his father can do is stare at him, unsure of what to say or do.

Growing up Jin’s father wasn’t much of an affectionate parent, that role being filled more by his mother than his dad. If anything his father usually kept more of a reserved and stoic personality, his love language shown by the long nights of work he puts in for his family at the office and the constant pushing for success. And so here in this moment, to have his oldest son who he’d push to his complete limit cry his heart out in front of him, probably in desperate need of a hug, Sungjin just couldn’t bring himself to comfort him.

And so instead he simply said, “Goodnight Seokjin,” in the softest voice possible, before making his way upstairs to his bedroom, leaving the words he so desperately wanted to say unsaid.

Jin feels the arms of his mother hug him, her eyes as teary stained as his, “Ah Seokjin,” her voice breaks as she attempts to comfort him.

“I—” Jin hesitates, “I need to go back home mom,” and gently he breaks away from the hug.

“Seokjin…” his mother worries, “Just stay here for the night, I’ll grab your old sheets from the closet and—”

“Mom,” he simply says, a way of finalizing his decision

Knowing she wasn’t going to be able to convince him, she squeezes his shoulder in an effort to comfort him, “Drive safe,” she says.

He nods, just wanting to go home and sleep the night away.

Unlocking the door to your guys’ apartment, Jin was surprised to see you in the kitchen making ramen, your packed bags laid across the couch. 

Having heard the door open, you turn to face him, “Hey—” and almost immediately your expression goes from one of happiness to one of concern. Quickly you rush towards him, his puffy eyes telling you that he’d been crying, “Hey, what’s wrong?” you raise your hand to cup his cheek.

Jin simply stares at you with a saddened look, unsure of what to say. “Hey, I’ve realized tonight after an argument with my father that I’m a complete utter failure, and you have no chance at a happy future by being with me.” Is that what he should say? It was the truth, wasn’t it?

“It’s—” he pauses, “It’s nothing,” he lowers your hand from his face, taking off his shoes and setting his keys down.

“Seokjin—”

“Y/N, it’s nothing,” he repeats, his way of telling you that he was serious, “I’m going to bed,” he exhales a deep sigh, making his way towards the bedroom, leaving you standing in the living room by yourself, wondering what in the hell just happened?

The next morning, as per usual Jin awoke to an empty bed, your Monday’s usually having you go in very early in the morning. 

Jin groaned as he got up, remembering that today was his day off. God, did he just wanna stay in bed all day, but remembering that the two of you were running low on groceries, he thought might as well make himself useful and do the buying for the week.

Looking at himself in the bathroom mirror, he noticed the strands of his hair he once kept short now getting longer, resembling the mullet he used to have when he was a teen. Not that he hated it or anything, but it was an odd sight to see, and so he grabbed his hair cutting scissors from the cabinet and began to unevenly chop the long strands of hair ultimately resulting in a chopped banged look. To make it look more natural, he ruffled his hair at the end, not bothering to style it.

After that he changed into casual clothing and made his way to the grocery store, relying on nothing but his pure memory for the things he needed to buy. 

Humming while pushing the cart full of groceries back to his car, he stops when something catches his eye. 

Across the street was the headquarters of one of the internships he had applied for. And maybe it was due to the argument he had with his dad the day before, or the fact that he’d been feeling like a complete utter failure recently, but getting into his car, Jin couldn’t bring himself to drive away and go back home. Instead he got out of the car and began to walk across the street, unsure of what it was he was planning to do.

Ding. Ding.

Jin rings the service bell, that impulsive courageous feeling he felt earlier suddenly abandoning him.

A man, who looked like he was near Jin’s age, walks out of the back office, a tag that read the name “Jungkook” pinned on the left side of his chest, “Hello, how can I help you?” he greets, a small smile on his face.

“Oh um—” Jin becomes flustered, but deciding that there was no backing down he continued on, “I sent in an application here a couple of months ago and I haven’t heard back from anyone, so I was just wondering—”

Jungkook’s face becomes one of nervousness, “Oh I’m sorry sir—” he tries to interrupt but Jin relents.

“If there’d been some kind of delay in the process, and well if there has been, if I could talk to someone because I really need—”

“Sir,” Jungkook repeats, this time halting Jin from continuing, “that position you’re talking about was filled months ago,” he practically whispers with a look of both awkwardness and pity on his face, “maybe your letter got lost in the mail, but there’s not really much you can do by coming in here.”

Jin, clearly in denial, nods his head no, “Please,” he pleads, “I just need to talk to someone for like ten minutes at most, I swear.”

“Sir—”

“Can’t you write down my number or something? Pass it on at least?!”

Jungkook can only stare at the frantic man, unsure of what to say or do, “I-” he stutters, “I can’t,” he ultimately says, not wanting to give this man false hope nor waste his time by writing his name and number down, “I’m gonna have to call security if you don’t leave,” he says, voice wobbling. 

It’s only then that Jin realizes how crazy he must’ve looked. Not only was he in casual clothing, but his hair was all messy and he was sure his eyes must’ve been dilated in cause of his desperation.

“I’m-I’m sorry,” he whispers under his breath, hastily making his way out. 

What was he thinking? Barging in and demanding things like that…. God he was losing it. Though he knew better than to let his dad’s words get to him, for some reason they were just eating at him.

“... it’s also important to know that like any other career there is a risk of not making it because at the end of the day that’s how life works and sometimes things are just out of our control… but the real question is if you’re willing to accept it if it happens…”

Your words from years ago ring in his head, and he shakes his head in denial. No he wasn’t … he wasn’t willing to accept it and he knew he’d only continue looking like a fool if he didn’t. But he just couldn’t. Because fully accepting it would mean he’d let you down. That the person you said you were sure was going to make it, was nothing but a failure.

And so he walks back to his car, dreadfully going back home, forgetting the words you spoke after. 

That everything would be okay, and that you’d be with him every step of the way.

“Since the day Jin and I had met, we had never seriously fought over anything, yeah, we’d occasionally get into a petty quarrel, but never enough to really get us truly mad. Things like which character in a movie was morally correct, or who ate the leftovers from the night before were as heated as our arguments ever got, and even then we’d always forgive each other after a couple of hours of cooling off, but this time… this time it was different. This time it was serious.”

Opening the door, Jin sighed as set down the bagged groceries on the floor, mentally and physically exhausted from everything, personally declaring to himself that this week was just a really bad week for him. 

Taking off his shoes, he began to make his way into the kitchen, deciding that maybe a cold cup of water would relax him. 

But when he was met with you, sitting on the kitchen isle’s chair with several shredded pieces of paper on the surface of the isle in front of you, along with an unshredded one in your hand, he was sure he wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear.

The look on your face said everything, it was a mixture of betrayal, anger, and sadness all in one. The two of you stared at each other for the longest, words not having to be exchanged in order to understand what was going on, until finally you break the silence and it’s what you ask that Jin swore he felt his soul go cold, “W-Why?” is all you say, your voice weak and fragile.

He gulps down the lump in his throat, the words barely managing to come out of his mouth, “Because y/n I just—” he pauses, unsure of what to say, “I just couldn’t tell you,” he ultimately says, pushing his hair back with his hand.

“But why?” you repeat the same question from before, your voice now growing louder as you get up from the seat, “I just don’t understand,” you add because no, you weren’t angry, you weren’t sad … you were hurt. You were concerned. You were worried. For you had just found out that the man you loved more than anything went to this extent to hide something from you. To hide something so … trivial.

Tears well up in your eyes when you notice the glossiness in his own eyes, “You—” his voice cracks, “You wouldn’t get it,” he states, and this causes you to get defensive.

“I’m sure I would, if you’d just talk to me,” you barked back, coming closer to him, “Whatever it was, it should’ve never resorted to this!” you flail the paper in your hands around. 

You don’t mean to yell, but you do. It was frustration that was coming out of your mouth, he had to understand that … right? 

Sighing you continue, “Today at work I just couldn’t focus, not when I knew there was something seriously bothering you,” you explain how you’d come to find the paper along with the rest of it’s shredded companions, “So I asked if I could leave early, thinking that since you had the day off I could maybe possibly get whatever it was out of you. Of course seeing that you weren’t here, I did some snooping of my own and well…” you shake your head.

“You’ve been lying to me for months Seokjin…. each time I’d ask you if you’d heard anything you’d say no, knowing you had … and for what? Because you didn’t wanna show me that you got rejected?” you sigh in dismay because despite him not answering you, you knew exactly why he didn’t tell you anything, “I would’ve helped you, you know? We could’ve worked on your resume or make a better project to show, I could’ve helped,” you grab his hand, a way of wanting to show that even now you were still beside him, “Say something Jin,” your voice breaks.  

“You don’t—” he looks down at you, “You don’t get it y/n,” he monotonously repeats, removing your hand from his and walking towards the bedroom, a tired expression on his face. 

He could feel it… he could feel himself cracking. With every minute that continued to pass in this wretched day, the selfless Jin everyone knew and loved was reaching his breaking point and the last person he wanted to take it out on was you. But you just kept pushing.

“Seokjin!” you force him to turn around by pulling at his hand, “Just talk to me!” you demand.

“And say what!” he finally screams, “What do you want me to say y/n?!” he cries out, tears spewing out of his eyes, “That I completely failed at my dream? That my dad was right, and that film was nothing but a mistake? That I could be working at some fancy company that pays a decent salary rather than relying on tips from a hard day’s work? That when I look at myself in the mirror, I see nothing but a failure!”

“Don’t say that about yourself,” you demand.

“It’s true isn’t it?” he questions, “Can’t you see that I’m not the person you think I am, that you’ve wasted your time being with some—”

“Just shut up already,” you grit your teeth, “... can’t you see I don’t care? I don’t care if you’re the richest or poorest man on Earth, I don’t care if your dad thinks that your career path is wrong, I don’t care if you or other people think you don’t deserve what you have, I just don’t care! What I do care about is your happiness and that shouldn’t rely on meeting other people’s expectations, including my own Seokjin. Because trust me, as long as I’m with you, I’m the happiest girl in the world. I promise you, if there’s one thing that’s true in this world, it’s that,” you lay your heart bare.

By now the both of you are crying, tears silently rolling down from the corners of each other's eyes. 

It hurt to see Jin think so lowly of himself, especially when you knew just how much of an amazing person he was.

“Y/N…” he whispers your name as softly as he can, “I’m just really tired, and I just really wanna go to sleep,” his voice breaks.

“Seokjin—”

“Please?” he frowns, his eyes yearning to be closed.

“I’ll—” you pause for a moment, “I’ll see you in bed then,” you ultimately say, sadness looming in the air for the words unsaid.

Silently nodding, Jin makes his way to the bedroom, gently shutting the door behind him and exhaling a deep breath of air, silent muffled sobs finally escaping. A decision already set in his mind.

“A part of me used to think that I should’ve immediately went to bed that night, that then I would’ve caught him crying and maybe we could’ve thoroughly talked everything out that night, but then I think about all of the events that later happened after that night, and that’s when I understand that maybe we were doomed from the beginning…”

It had been a couple of weeks since the argument with Jin and though your interactions were still a little stiff with one another, you were still hopeful that things would get better. They had to.

Sighing, you unlock the door to your apartment, ready to take a nap after a long day of work. Kicking off your shoes, you say something outloud, assuming that Jin was in the kitchen like he usually was whenever you’d come back from work, “Jin take out the kimchi from the fridge for me please,” your voice weirdly echoes across the room, changing your course of direction from the bathroom to the kitchen.

“Jin?” you ask to an empty kitchen, “Hm,” you hum to yourself, maybe he was in the bedroom …

Walking inside, you see that he isn’t there, but what you do notice is the sudden emptiness of the room. The clothes he’d have thrown around no longer scattered around the room, and his little Mario figurines were no longer on the wooden shelf you two had built from scratch …. What in the hell was going on?

“Seokjin?” you shout again, hoping this was some kind of stupid prank on his part. 

In a panicked manner, you look inside every possible room in the apartment, from the closets to the restroom, Jin being nowhere to be found. It isn’t until you do a second search of the kitchen that you notice that there was a note on the floor (most likely accidentally falling to the floor earlier).

Eyebrows furrowing when you read the note, you immediately grab your keys, shock and anger acting as your driving force.

“Right when I left, it began to rain heavy... It’s weird … I remember driving with such a rage that night I was sure I was driving recklessly… but for some reason, as ironic as it was, there was an artist playing on the radio that must’ve kept me at bay, Mariah Carey singing Without You …”

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The door opens.

“Ah Y/N,” Mrs. Kim greets you, her apron from either cooking or baking still on, “I feel like I haven’t seen you in such a long time,” she chuckles, hugging you in the process. Despite your current dilemma, you feign a smile, not wanting to be disrespectful even if you were in a horrible mood. “Is Seokjin with you?” she genuinely asks, and this causes your expression to be one of shock.

He wasn’t here? Then where the hell was he?

“O-oh no,” you stutter, partially due to the freezing weather, “I thought he was here...” you say, and his mother’s face immediately becomes one of concern.

“No...” she hesitantly says, clearly confused, “Not that I know of,” she furrows her brows, “Oh honey, you’re soaking, come in, come in,” she insists, “maybe we can try calling his job using the house phone,” she begins to ramble, but you stop yourself before completely entering, a sudden thought crossing your mind.

“A-a-actually it’s fine,” you say, “I think I know where he is.”  

She tilts her head in confusion, “Are you sure? The rain is only getting heavier, and I’m sure neither Seokjin or your parents would want you driving in these conditions,” she says, noting the dull look in your eyes. You appreciated her concern, for you knew she loved you in her own special way, always imagining that you’d one day be her future daughter in law.

It was only expected really, you’d been in Jin’s life for almost 7 years now, both she and your mom always glancing at your ring finger whenever you’d visit, itching to see it decorated by a piece of jewelry. 

If only Ms. Kim knew that that dream was slowly slipping away from your grasp at this current moment …

“Yes I’m sure Mrs. Kim,” you finally respond, “Don’t worry, I’ll drive safe,” you try to say as lightheartedly as possible.

Hesitantly, she nods, allowing you to leave.

“When Mrs. Kim had offered me to come inside, something had hit me out of nowhere and I remembered that it was raining. Pouring in fact. And my mind suddenly went back to the days when we were 17, remembering how he’d knock on my door with a bag of takeout after coming back from the one place you could always find him at on a rainy day… the diner. ”

Water is dripping from all over your body when you enter the diner, from your hair to your clothes, you were drenched in mother nature’s tears. The only thing that wasn’t completely soaking wet was the note in your hand, the one you slammed on the booth’s table he sat at once you spotted him.

He looks up at you with a pained expression on his face, “Everything I do is for you, and this is for the best. Don’t come looking for me, for I’ll be long gone by the next morning’s sunrise. I’m sorry. Yours forever, Jin,” you read the note out loud to him, a mixture of anger and hurt found in your voice.

He remains silent, watching as your fingers trembled in anger, “What?” you rhetorically ask, “Did you think I wasn’t going to come all the way down here to look for you, that I was just gonna accept this bullshit of a letter or whatever the fuck you wanna call it, and call it a day? Is that what you honestly thought?”

After several minutes of continuous silence, your voice rises in anger, “Don’t just look at me, say something!” you yell.

“Y/N,” he says, the volume in which you said it, catching the attention of the late night goers also at the diner, “you’re causing a scene.”

You take a seat across from him, planning on being as loud as you needed to be until you got some answers, “How could I not when my boyfriend of over 7 years decides to pack up his things and leave to God knows where while only leaving some sorry excuse of a note for me.” your voice shakes, “What the hell did you expect?”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, genuinely meaning the two simple words, more than you could ever know. Did you think he wanted to leave you? That he wanted to toss away everything you two had built to the trash? That he wanted to hurt the person who meant the most to him in this world? Of course he didn’t. But he had to be the bad guy in this story. Not for him, but for you. Because he loved you so much, that’d he’d do anything to see you live the life you dreamt of.

“No,” you say, “I don’t believe this,” you fling the letter around in his face, “I need you to tell it to my face, then I’ll believe you,” tears begin to well up in your eyes. There was just no way. The Jin you knew would never do this to you, never in a million years.

“Y/N—” he sighs, but he knows you won’t relent until you hear it from him, “Y/N we can’t be together anymore,” he says, and the words echo in your mind as he continues, “After tonight we’ll be nothing more than strangers,” he says in such a monotone voice, if you didn’t know any better you’d think he was a heartless being.

What you didn’t know was that Jin wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. Every nerve in his body was begging him to break out in tears, but no matter how much he wanted to … he just couldn’t bring himself to break outwardly. Not right now at least. Because right now he needed to be unbreakable.

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” a single teardrop slowly rolls down your cheek, the agonizing ache you felt in your heart now growing because of his words, “Seokjin,” you whimper, “I-If this is because of what you were saying a couple of weeks ago,” forcibly you grab his hand from across the table, your lips quivering in fear of losing the person you loved the most, “then why can’t you see I don’t care? Because to me you’ll always be the tall, lanky, boy with an outdated mullet who first showed me around town 7 years ago with a camera pointed at my face. Because as long as we’re with each other, we’ll get through anything Seokjin …” you squeeze his hand tighter, “You’re my person Seokjin, mine, and mine only,” you try to smile, only causing more tears to spill out of your eyes as they crease. 

“Y/N…” just accept it, is what he wants to say because what he was about to say would change how you viewed him, it would make you question everything you ever knew about the person you loved, “I don’t know what else I can say or do for you to understand that I just don’t want to be with you anymore,” he feels the a knot forming in his throat, as if to tell him to stop immediately, that what he was saying would have irreversible consequences, “And I haven’t been for a while…” How disgusting he was.

“You’re—” your voice croaks, “You’re a liar—Seokjin please....” you cry.

He pulls his wallet out and sets the money for his meal down, getting up from his seat in the process, “I truly am sorry Y/N…” is all he can say, before giving you a final kiss on the forehead, his feet fighting against his will to turn around and apologize. To tell you that he was just being an idiot and beg for your forgiveness. But he couldn’t.

He wouldn’t.

And so pushing the door open, he took one final glance at you, knowing he’d left his heart with you.

[paranaturalpop]

I rate your pnat ships by how well they work as foils

I’m Professor Pops, welcome to Literature 405: comparing and contrasting in pnat ships. Love is in the air but all that really matters is narrative symmetry!

Mina and Agent Day (submitted by @anxanhh)

two women on missions who need a confidante. 

Mina is a calculating woman of science with a tender, vulnerable heart deep down that she guards. Day is a fun, giggly love goddess but beneath the surface she is just as calculating.  

They are both focused on their prospective goals to the point of subterfuge. 

They have similar missions, to solve the many mysteries of Mayview, but they’re at odds instead of working together. Will these lone wolves learn to let their walls down and work towards a common goal? 

Their spectral energies are complementary colors!!!!!!!!!!!! 

9/10 so different yet so alike. They should kiss and also develop as people.

Spendcia

Where's that post about paranatural having what my hero academia wants?

These two had interacted in cannon only once before we found out they were dating, power move on Zack’s part

The cousinhood and the consortium seem to have bad blood…. Enemies to lovers????

As teachers, Garcia is tired and phoning it in while spender is energetic and committed. But when it comes to mystery solving Spender is burning himself out while Garcia keeps him grounded.

Garcia does things like pack spender lunches with little hearts drawn on the bag but was surprised to be called his boyfriend. He acts chill but inside he is deeply invested in spender but also knows about spender’s isolating tendencies. 

8/10 there's a reason these two have been off and on again for 6ish years, they’re walking a tightrope of vulnerability.

Imaax (submitted by Rubyya)

The Destiel of Paranatural. No I will not elaborate.

Here’s a pnat history lesson, the original ship name was Maxaac, but Zack weighed in on twitter with a much better alternative: Imaax. Also sometimes called Team Lightning Rod. 

Black and blue colors, just like the emotional bruises they leave on the people around them. 

Isaac wants to be seen as heroic and Max wants to be seen as aloof. It presents in different ways but deep down they both really care what other people think.

They both fear sincerity. Isaac protects himself with theatrics and Max with sarcasm. 

Isaac puts on a big show of having strong ethics but he’s a little mean on instinct. Max puts on a big show of cutting people down with his snark and devil-may-care attitude, but when push comes to shove he’s kind and cares how other people feel. 

Max immediately insults every person he meets and they still want to be best friends with him, while Issac tries so hard to be cool and nice but people just can’t stand him. 

The meta tension between Isaac, who wants so badly to be the protagonist, and Max “magnetic personally” Puckett who is exhausted with being the protagonist, is delicious. 

There’s a reason official art tends to portray them together. They bring out the best in each other. Isaac brakes through Max’s performative pessimism and Max brings Isaac down to earth. 

10/10 these two were written as a pair and it shows.

Suzabel (submitted by Rubyya)

One of my fav tropes is ‘enemies to friends’ where the enemy part is completely one-sided. Isabel probably thinks she and Suzy get along great. 

Both the heads of their respective clubs, but with very different leadership styles. 

Isabel only studies her grandfather's spectral style to please him and is a near master of it, while Suzy is incredibly self-motivated even though her actual skills are lacking. 

Isabel is at a crucial time in her life where she’s learning to distance herself from adult authority figures in order to take on more personal responsibility. Suzy is already blazing with independence and could help her adjust. 

Inversely, Isabel could teach Suzy a thing or two about treating your club members with respect and doing the emotional labor necessary to prevent future conflict. 

Red and pink! Valentines colors! 

Isabel could kill you but would never, Suzy would actually try to kill you. 

Investigative reporter/person living mysterious double life is a great dynamic.

Back when Izzy had Eightfold they had the ship name ‘Paper Girls’ which is awesome

7/10 Don’t ask me how I know this but they would kill at karaoke together. And they’re ok foils.

Bullymagnet

Max ‘too cool for clubs’ vs a boy who defines himself by his tight knit group. 

Max is learning to be less passive aggressive and johnny is learning to be less aggressive aggressive. 

Max’s entry to spectral life was when he injured Johnny and saw a shade of a doctopi on him, and Johnny's first shade was Max's doctopi after the hit ball game. 

Johnny refuses to commit to not bullying max anymore even though he really likes him, and max is working on being nicer but he’s still gonna be snarky with people even though they’re his friends. Old habits die hard. 

If he hadn't seen that shade, Max might have joined Johnny's gang. He has the style, the stunts, the snark. 

8/10 Just two bros whose lives are changing forever.

Isaac and Dimitri (submitted by Rubyya)

Here’s my pitch for a ship name: Brainstorm

Orange and blue are complementary colors. 

Isaac hurt Dimitri accidentally somehow. Hurting others accidentally is the central theme of chapter 5. 

Idealist/pragmatist is a classic dynamic

They both have relationships with their spirit partners that are rooted in fear. 

Dimitri’s self concept is overly dependent on his sense of intellectual superiority, and Isaac’s on ethical superiority. 

7/10 have not directly interacted in the comic yet but the narrative symmetry is there

Johnny and Isabel (submitted by Rubyya)

Burnhound Vs Shockadile

These two are natural leaders who know how to treat their friends with respect.

These jocks are both lethal weapons, but while Isabel is a master martial artist, Johnny is a passionate but blunt instrument.

They’re both going through similar identity crises.

Isabel is struggling to reconcile her violent and disciplined upbringing with a good, gentle heart and Johnny is trying to reconcile his violent and self-centered lifestyle with a developing respect and empathy for other people.

Johnny dies his hair red, so he would think it’s cool how Izzy emits a fiery red aura when excited.

8/10 there's a reason these two were the team leaders in the hit ball arch.

Violet and Lisa (submitted by Rubyya)

People have been theorizing about what kind of cryptid Lisa is since day one meanwhile Violet gives off big normie energy.

Lisa is very plugged into all the Mayview weirdness as the queen of the school underground, while Violet was the only person who thought to go get a teacher during the hit ball arch. Lisa was also the only one who really spoke openly about how something was clearly very wrong with Jeff, everyone else talked around it and played by the so called ‘rules’. Lisa’s secret brokering Vs. Violet’s ‘sunlight is the best disinfectant’ attitude presents two different approaches to trying to survive in a school run by a mysterious shadow organization within a town that contains several other mysterious shadow organizations.

“If you were, I’d have to be jealous too.” just two middle schoolers pinning over their crushes.

7/10 two girls against the world.

Isaac and Johnny

ship name: Firestorm?

Just 2 fiery redheaded mediums with anger management issues that command primal forces and wanna be best friends with max

Johnny chooses to have red spiky hair, Issac has had red spiky hair thrust upon him.

Both met Maxwell Pucket and decided they needed to change for the better.

I’ve said this before but Johnny and Issac have equal and opposite philosophies. Johnny doesn't care about the greater good, he just cares about a small group of people who he loves. Issac cares about the greater good, but can’t connect with individuals and ends up hurting them. Together they form one GoodTM boy.

Both their spirit partners want revenge on Spender. This spells trouble.

If there’s anyone to teach Isaac about unconditional friendship, it’s Johnny

Isaac has sworn off violence and Johnny worships at the altar of it.

9/10 they’ve only interacted in canon once so far but I’ve think we’ve got a big storm coming.

Suzy and Collin (submitted by Rubyya)

The Bakudeku of pnat. I will continue to not elaborate.

Suzy once stole Collin's phone which prompted Collin to try to cut her hair which prompted Suzy to stab Collin and at no point did either of them think to move to a different bus seat. As different as they are they are also very much the same.

Collin is the definition of mouth service (constantly disapproving of suzy’s antics but going along with it anyway.) while suzy is all action.

Despite their different attitudes they both seem genuinely passionate about the journalism club.

Fashion icons. Suzy’s sunglasses and legwarmers, Collins sweater vests and wrist bands, this duo could walk for Paris fashion week: middle school edition.

We’ve gotten an indication that Collin cares a lot about what Suzy thinks of him (taking off his wrist bands when she made fun of Max's) but we haven't gotten any sign yet that the feelings are mutual.

5/10 I think their story is yet to be told and we’ll get to know more about how they compare/contrast to each other in the future. Maybe brought on by Dimitri's betrayal?????

Cody and Isabel (Submitted by @a-bitchtm)

Cody is gay by WOG but that doesn't matter here since we are evaluating thematic compatibility, not romantic compatibility.

Red Vs. Blue

Izzy’s arch about stepping into her role as leader through communication and honesty contrasts Cody’s role as the secret class president. Izzy finally told Isaac the truth about the consortium, while Cody blatantly lied to max about being president.

Both seem to have generally good motivations and the skills/talent to back those motivations up.

Isabel is in the process of unlearning the ‘firm hand’ philosophy that she learned from her grandpa and Cody’s dad straight up tried to mind control him into murdering a toddler.

They were both taught to fall back on their capacity for violence and intimidation but those teachings conflict with the people they really want to be.

6/10 just two kids who are being led astray by authority figures trying to learn to be themselves.

Cody and Collin (Submitted by @gatortavern)

They both like vests.

Both beholden to blood thirsty predators

Collin is a journalist, Cody is a vampire/leader of the shadow government. It’s a huge power move on Cody’s part to hang out with Collin.

Cody’s support of his friends is enthusiastic while Collin would have you believe Suzy has kidnapped him.

4/10 they hang out for a reason but those reasons have yet to be fully developed

Isabel and Max (submitted by @Paranatural-goofiness)

They’re both people who have learned to put up walls to keep people out. Isabel through violence and intimidation, max through sarcasm and mockery. T

he other side of this is their mutual journey to let their walls down and connect with other people more genuinely, starting with each other.

Their search for acceptance and identity has led them both to become incredible athletes. Spectral fist martial arts = shred eagle stunts

As we saw in the hit ball game, Izzy faces things head on while Max is all about evasion. However we’ve seen how Izzy has actually learned to be evasive and guarded about her feelings while Max is a little more forthcoming.

8/10  Never has there been faster friends.

Isaac and Cody (submitted by Rubyya)

Drama kings

Isaac wants the likability Cody has.

Parallels of power: Isaac with power he didn't choose and cant control vs. Cody who also didn’t choose to have his power (elected), but wields it like an instrument.

Involuntary anime hair and involuntary glowing monster eyes

These two definitely both fall under the category of “lawful”.

I can see these two ending up on opposite sides of a conflict because they both have such rigid personal codes and an intense sense of duty.

I know I’ve been approaching almost all of these platonically but Isaac probably really wants a cool vampire boyfriend deep down

 7/10 Unstoppable force, meet immovable object. You two should watch anime together.

Hijack and PJ (submitted by @gatortavern)

They both wanna join the activity club so bad

Both have immature ideas about heroism and villainy. 

Both aspire to heroism while at the same time understanding that they aren't that yet and maybe never will be. 

They both, like many people in this comic, wanna be friends with max.  

5/10 Two supernatural babies who should play wii sports together

Stephen and Isaac (@Gatortavern)

Two boys who are easily overwhelmed

Lawful vs. chaotic

Isaac has enough secrets to give Stephen his conspiracy fix for a long time. 

In their own ways they both just want everything out in the open. 

Isaac is Stephen's dream, someone actually living a secret double life, and Stephen is Issac's dream, someone with a cool scar who would think he’s actually very interesting. 

5/10 these two are both very intense in their own way.

Johnny and Ed (Submitted by @theevilbrainman)

Two souls lost in the wind

Two people for whom friendship and loyalty is central to their character, and they’re both struggling with personal growth because of it. Johnny is afraid to change because his friends have always liked the person he already is, and Ed is struggling to even define himself outside of Isabel, the person he cares about the most. 

Both impulsive and uninhibited. 

They both live lives free from expectation. Johnny’s wild bully persona means no one is surprised by his antics or cruelty, while Grandpa Guerra doesn't really care if Ed takes up phantom fist like Isabel. He actually calls him a freeloader. Not having much expected of you can feel free but it’s also lonely and can warp your self-perception. 

6/10 these two crossed paths at exactly the right time.

I didn't cover every submission because even though only 9 people submitted you sent in 34 ships between you. Pnat’s fanbase is small but very dedicated. 

Honorable mentions: 

Johnny and clear sinuses, submitted by @gaul-the-unmitigated

Isaac and therapy, submitted by both @squidgeons and @somethingfishysgoingon

PJ and Johnny, submitted by @gatortavern, who seems to be under the impression that Johnny Would protect PJ and not destroy him just by breathing near him.

Day and Scabs, submitted by @gatortavern, because funny.

Special thanks to everyone who sent in ship between people who have never interacted in cannon, which was a lot of you. My eyes are opened now, so many possibilities.

[ibijau]

Futures Past pt8 / On AO3

Meng Yao's future is dealt with.

To say that Lan Qiren was disappointed in his nephew for helping Nie Huaisang escape into Yunping City would have been an understatement. It was made quite clear to Lan Xichen that he would face punishment of his own for this misbehaviour. Real punishment, too, not just copying texts as had become standards for small infractions. Still, Lan Qiren listened to that tale of a corrupt merchant scamming people with fake manuals, which greatly irritated him, and thus forced sect leader Huang to care as well and deal with it immediately.

It was wrong to think maliciously of anyone without proof, and even more so if the person was an elder. Yet as they all walked toward the market Lan Xichen couldn’t shake the feeling that had he been alone when news of that crooked merchant reached him, Huang Quiling might not have cared enough to do anything about it. After all, he hadn’t asked Lan Xichen for any details about this business, and instead appeared intent on continuing his conversation with Jiang Fengmian about borders and trade.

Lives were on the line, Nie Mingjue and Meng Yao’s futures depended on this day, and nobody cared. 

They didn't care because they couldn't know, of course, but logic wasn't helping Lan Xichen's ever growing anxiety. He only calmed down when they all reached the place where the others were waiting, and found that everyone of any importance was still where he had left them. 

While Lan Xichen was gone, things had changed a little in the market. Most of the earlier crowd had dispersed, tired of waiting for more entertainment, and the market street was almost back to normal. Those few curious folks who remained were trying to inconspicuously listen in as Nie Huaisang chatted with, or rather at poor Meng Shi. The unfortunate woman looked deeply uncomfortable, but didn't dare openly disrespect the young master who had confirmed her son's potential for cultivation by walking away.

She couldn't leave yet, anyway, not until she'd gotten her money back for those fake cultivation manuals. From what Lan Xichen could see, Jiang Cheng and Meng Yao were taking care of that, the two of them counting money with that crooked merchant. Here and there Meng Yao would glance at Nie Huaisang, as if something he said attracted his attention, but each time Jiang Cheng brought his attention back to the task at hand.

When Lan Xichen and his elders came close enough to hear, the distress made sense: Nie Huaisang, after all this time, was still discussing the many failings of Jin Guangshan. Lan Xichen wished he were surprised, but there really was that much gossip going around about that man. Most people just didn't usually discuss all of it at once out of respect for a sect leader.

“And then, da-ge said that Jin zongzhu brought in dancers,” Nie Huaisang was saying to a rapt audience, insensitive to the discomfort of Meng Shi next to him. “Da-ge said it was getting embarrassing to watch when Jin Furen arrived, and she made such a scene because apparently her husband had promised to consult her about all the entertainments at the banquet but he brought the dancers without tell her. So then, she… oh, already?”

Nie Huaisang, so cheerful while telling his story, turned a little pale at the sight of Lan Qiren. He looked around for something to hide him from his teacher’s angry glare, and had to settle for slipping behind poor Meng Shi. Lan Xichen refrained from rolling his eyes, and directed his elders' attention where it was actually needed. 

“Here is the man,” Lan Xichen announced, motioning toward the merchant. “He has been selling fake cultivation manuals to people.”

“Fake talismans as well,” Jiang Cheng said, lifting a few before crumbling them in his hand. “And he has been doing this for a while. How long, did you say?”

“We started buying from him last year,” Meng Yao explained with a polite bow toward the older cultivators. “But he started coming to the market the year before that, and already offered the same wares. We assumed he had received permission to sell those items, since...”

Meng Yao trailed off, glancing toward sect leader Huang before bowing deeper as if in apology.

Strictly speaking, no sect could be expected to be aware of and to deal with every crook that operated in their territory, so Huang Quiling couldn't be blamed for that situation. At the same time, it would be considered shameful for any sect to have someone selling fakes in its own hometown of all places, and for so long. It spoke of unreliability on their part if people would rather go to a nobody on the market, or else it meant that they priced their services much too high for common people. It also meant they didn't care about commoners, who surely had to have complained about that merchant before. Either way, it wasn't a good look for Huang Quiling, and he would have to act properly to clean this stain on his reputation.

But instead of scolding the merchant or threatening him, Huang Quiling only had eyes for Meng Shi, who was glaring at him defiantly.

“So it's you again,” sect leader Huang muttered. “Meng Shi! Haven’t I told you to stop bothering cultivators?” he turned to the other two sect leaders and gave a small apologetic bow. “I’m sorry that your boys got caught up in this. Meng Shi is just a local whore who’s convinced herself that her bastard has what it takes to be a cultivator. Completely delusional, the boy will never amount to anything. You can't judge that merchant's wares just because the bastard of a whore didn't become an immortal from reading it. I'm unsure the boy can even read.”

Meng Shi, proud as a queen until then, went pale. Lan Xichen felt her shock and horror as if they were his own. He turned to glance at his uncle, worried he might side with Huang Quiling, but to his relief Lan Qiren instead appeared annoyed at the sect leader. It was probably only the coarse language that he disapproved of, and the public nature of this confrontation which he must feel stained all their reputations, yet Lan Xichen felt emboldened anyway.

“Huang zongzhu, have you tested Meng gongzi?” he asked. “We checked on him, and found he has potential.”

“What would mere boys know about these things?” Huang Quiling snapped at him. “Which one of you tested him?”

Lan Xichen hesitated, and glanced at the other boys. He hadn’t come anywhere near Meng Yao yet, and couldn’t lie about that. But if he said it was Nie Huaisang who had checked on Meng Yao, and after his horrible performance at the Night Hunt the day before, it wouldn’t be much of an endorsement. Lan Xichen himself only trusted Nie Huaisang’s assessment because he knew from that other future what sort of cultivation genius Meng Yao was.

“I’m the one who checked on him,” Jiang Cheng boldly lied. Or perhaps he really had checked, dubious as well of Nie Huaisang's assessment, because he continued: “For someone not born from gentry, his potential is not to be dismissed. It might be on par with Yunmeng Jiang's first disciple, if he were just taught properly.”

Huang Quiling, so disdainful a moment before, lost all of his confidence. He glanced at Jiang Fengmian whose face showed no particular expression, except perhaps mild curiosity now that Wei Wuxian had been mentioned. Lan Xichen wasn't sure what to make of that. He hadn’t often been near Jiang Fengmian except at the occasional discussion conference, and of course in the other future they had never gotten to work together as sect leaders. According to gossip, Jiang Fengmian was something of a pushover, who loved quiet and peace more than he cared about justice, but on occasion he could show strength of character if the mood hit him.

"What does his skill matter, with a mother like that?" Huang Quiling claimed, refusing to admit defeat. "No self respecting sect would knowingly take in the son of a whore. It'd be like teaching a pig to walk on two legs, dressing it in silk, and calling it human."

"People ought to be judged on their actions rather than their origins," Lan Xichen retorted, which caused sect leader Huang to glare at him with bulging eyes, his face dark with a rage so strong it robbed him of his words. Even without looking, Lan Xichen knew that his uncle too had to be shocked, that there would be hell to pay for this later. But then, if he was going to be punished, he might as well go all the way. "Just because you don't have the talent to teach someone,” he said, “don't assume a skilled teacher can't do it either."

Huang Quiling looked on the verge of having a Qi deviation, gaping and frothing at the mere boy who dared to insult him so openly. He wasn't the only one to stare, either. Nie Huaisang, the Jiangs, the Mengs, and above all Lan Qiren were looking at Lan Xichen as if he'd suddenly grown a second head.

A very rude second head, at that.

Lan Xichen just couldn't help it. Back in that awful future, the man he would have become had also been enraged and saddened at the unfairness of the world, particularly with regards to Meng Yao. If people hadn't judged him so harshly for something he had no control over, if instead they had taken notice of his skill, of his hard working personality, of his determination…

In that future, Lan Xichen had never dared to speak up, believing in the virtues of inaction and of leading by example, the way he'd been taught to behave. So far in this current life his attempts at being more active hadn't really worked so well, only ensuring that Nie Huaisang made a terrible friend in Su She and started hating Lan Xichen much earlier, but maybe this time, just maybe...

“Lan-xiansheng, your nephew is rather opinionated for a boy his age,” Huang Quiling complained. “I have heard a great deal how well behaved the young heir to Gusu Lan is, but it appears some reputations are undeserved.”

“My nephew will be dealt with,” Lan Qiren calmly replied, which dampened Lan Xichen's moment of rebellion more than anger could have. “And he will present excuses to you. Right now, Xichen.”

“But Lan gongzi's right!” Nie Huaisang exclaimed, coming out from his hiding place being Meng Shi. Under Lan Qiren's glare he shivered, but didn't give up. “I mean, he's right at least to ask if Meng gongzi was tested,” he mumbled. “And he's right to say it's not fair if nobody will teach him just because of his family! I've read our histories, you know. I know people didn't want to teach some butcher any cultivation because it's unclean work, and now we're a big sect. Isn't it the same? And it's not just us, right?”

His eyes darted toward Jiang Fengmian, who smiled at the unsaid accusation.

The official history said that Yunmeng Jiang had been founded by a group of rogue cultivators. They had tired of wandering, and established themselves in a small port which soon thrived thanks to their presence and influence. As far as founding stories went, it was a very respectable one.

The less official story was that their founder had been the leader of a band of thieves who had picked up a trick or two and figured that cultivation paid better than robbery. Lan Xichen had never been interested enough in the subject to do any research, but he had a cousin with a taste for history who swore that annals from that period corroborated the second version more than the first. If so, it wasn't much better than being descended from a prostitute, though enough time had passed that it didn't matter so much anymore.

“I see my nephew won't be the only one who needs to be dealt with,” Lan Qiren remarked in an icy voice. Nie Huaisang, having used up all of his courage in standing up to his teacher, hid again behind Meng Shi, trying to make himself small.

“Boys must stand for something, it's what youth is for,” Jiang Fengmian replied with good humour, before gesturing toward Meng Yao. “Come here, boy. Let's see what all the fuss is about.”

“Jiang zongzhu, you're not serious!” Huang Quiling exploded. “That boy is just...”

“I'm only curious. If his proximity is intolerable, then perhaps you might help my son check those manuals to see if they are real or fake. Jiang Cheng, help Huang zongzhu while we deal with this side of the problem.”

Huang Quiling went pale from rage at being ordered around in that manner, but with Yunmeng Jiang the larger and more respectable sect, he still obeyed. He stomped toward the merchant's stall in a manner Lan Xichen found lacking in the dignity to be expected of a sect leader. Meng Yao, for his part, hesitated to obey Jiang Fengmian's order until Jiang Cheng pushed him forward. Huang Quiling radiated hatred when Meng Yao passed by him on his way to the other sect leaders. He looked as if he might have tried something, or said some other insults, but Meng Yao wisely made sure to leave as much space as possible between the two of them, which wasn't easy in a crowded market street.

“Come closer, child,” Jiang Fengmian requested when Meng Yao hesitantly stopped a few steps away from him. “I am going to put my hand on you to check your meridians. It might feel a little odd... but if my son tested you, you know that already, hm?”

Meng Yao nervously nodded glancing back toward his mother who smiled encouragingly. He only shivered a little when Jiang Fengmian put one hand over his heart, and even less so when Lan Qiren did the same after being invited to do so by Jiang Fengmian.

“I suppose the children have a point,” Lan Qiren conceded, his expression turning somewhat warmer. “How old are you, boy?”

“I'm sixteen, Lan-xiansheng.”

Instantly, Lan Qiren's expression darkened again.

“Too old then. If you'd been two or three years younger... and even then it would have been difficult. It's best to start young.”

Meng Yao's shoulders slumped down at the news, while all of Lan Xichen's hopes were crushed. He knew that his sect preferred younger disciples, though he suspected it had less to do with actual cultivation, and more with the fact that children took to discipline better than teenagers. Still, he had hoped that Meng Yao, with his potential... but Lan Qiren's word was final in these matters, with only their sect leader having a right to contradict him. Meng Yao couldn't be brought into Gusu Lan.

Which meant another option would have to be considered.

With dread curling in his guts and a choking sensation tightening his throat, Lan Xichen looked at Nie Huaisang still half hidden behind Meng Shi, and found the other boy staring right back at him. Nie Huaisang no longer appeared as furious at him as he had been before, but that might have been because he was preparing his own move, ready to ruin all of Lan Xichen's efforts. Nie Huaisang opened his mouth, surely to offer again that Meng Yao be sent to Qinghe, but missed his chance to speak.

“Yunmeng Jiang has never looked down on older disciples,” Jiang Fengmian said with a pleasant smile. “It can be a challenge to learn cultivation with a late start, but anyone who cannot take a challenge has no place teaching in the Lotus Pier. Sixteen... it could be worse. One of my own shidi was in his thirties when he joined us, and still did well enough for himself.”

Lan Xichen shivered, his body tensing further at this proposition.

Perhaps it was because he knew already, but the resemblance between Meng Yao and his father, between him and his half-brother also, was quite striking to him. It was possible that Jiang Fengmian hadn’t noticed, but unlikely when he often dealt with Jin Guangshan. Even if he really saw nothing, his wife was well known to be a very close friend to Madam Jin. There was no way Madam Yu wouldn’t notice that their newest disciple resembled Jin Guangshan, and since she was said to be a tyrant and the true ruler of Yunmeng Jiang…

“Are you sure this is wise?” Lan Qiren asked. “Even if that boy can be taught, his family…”

“His mother taught him well enough that he would take the defence of a stranger even in a fight he couldn’t win,” Jiang Fengmian said. “Or so your nephew said before. A good heart is what matters.”

“But half of Yunping City could be his father,” Huang Quiling argued, who'd paid more attention to their conversation than to the cultivation manuals he was meant to inspect. “From the lowest beggar to any drunk merchant with too much money to waste.”

“His father is a cultivator,” Meng Shi said, striding to come at her son's side. “He said he would return for A-Yao, but…” She glanced at Nie Huaisang who had followed her to hide again behind her. He had shared so much gossip earlier, it would have been hard for her to keep her hopes up. She sighed. “I only want for my son to live up to his potential. If he can be a cultivator, then that’s... good enough.”

“Is your son under any contractual obligation?” Jiang Fengmian asked.

“He's not,” Meng Shi vehemently decried. “He's free.”

“That will make things easier. If that is fine with you, I will accompany you two to your place of residence. We can talk about certain details while your son packs, and then he will come to Yunmeng with me. Would that satisfy you?”

Meng Shi, speechless, could only bow deeply before her son's new master. Meng Yao did the same a few times, before hugging his mother, both of them too stunned by this good fortune to even smile. As they held each other's hands tightly, Jiang Fengmian gave his son a few things to do while he was busy.

Huang Quiling too appeared quite stunned by this turn of events, and a good deal less pleased than the Mengs, but he wisely kept quiet about it. Lan Qiren's refusal to teach Meng Yao on account of his age would save Huang Quiling some face, since he could now pretend he had the same issue, but it wouldn't surprise Lan Xichen is the relationship because Yunmeng Jiang and Yunping Huang remained tense for a while.

Lan Xichen couldn't quite feel sorry for it. He didn't like people who thought they were allowed to be rude to their inferiors, and hoped that sect leader Huang would learn something from this experience.

Then, having given his son instructions, Jiang Fengmian walked back to Lan Qiren to bid him goodbye, explaining he expected his schedule for the day to be so changed that they might as well separate for good right then. Lan Qiren agreed, but frowned as he glanced toward Meng Yao.

“That boy's father, with his looks...” he said in a voice low enough the Mengs might not hear, but still clear enough for a cultivator's ears.

Eavesdropping was forbidden, but Lan Xichen found he couldn't help himself. Neither could Nie Huaisang, who leaned toward the two men to hear better.

“Probably. I'll have his mother confirm it,” Jiang Fengmian said in a similar tone. “but it won't change things. Even if my wife doesn't like it, I would be a fool to pass a chance to teach a boy of such potential. And Jin zongzhu would never admit any relation, so it'll all be fine.”

Lan Xichen let out a deep breath, relieved that things had worked out so well after all. He would have preferred to have Meng Yao in the Cloud Recesses, where he could have watched him closely and made sure he didn't go again down the same path as before, but the Lotus Pier wasn't an awful option either. They'd managed to turn someone like Wei Wuxian into an honest enough man, so they might know how to deal with Meng Yao as well.

Even when Lan Qiren reminded his nephew and Nie Huaisang that they would both be harshly punished for their bad behaviour, Lan Xichen found that he didn't mind, not when there was a good chance they had saved Nie Mingjue's life.

[wickedsrest-rp-archive]

Name: Sebastian Cabrera Species: Fury (Erinyes) Occupation: Novelist Age: 743 Years Old Played By: Bex Face Claim: Chance Perdomo

“I hope to arrive to my death late, in love, and a little drunk.”

TW: homophobia, domestic abuse

From an early age, Sebastian “Baz” Cabrera had no shortage of expectations placed heavy on their shoulders. Their great-great-grandfather, a soldier made rich through the spoils of war, used his wealth to buy a certain level of status enjoyed by each generation that came behind him. But he never wanted his descendants to be softened by their comfortable position; he taught his son to be a soldier just as he was, and his son passed the lesson along as well. Sebastian’s father tried to carry on the tradition, but Baz’s personality made it… a difficult process, to say the least. Sebastian had little interest in indulging in the harsh ways of his family. Instead, they found they would much rather lavish the wealth those ways had provided them with. After all, the suffering was finished. Why should he have to continue it when it wasn’t necessary?

Of course, his father disapproved. Baz was punished for his behavior harshly and often, but it did little to deter them. Eventually, their father seemed to give up the fight, choosing instead to focus his attention on Sebastian’s younger brother, who was far more compatible with the family’s teachings. And, as a result, Sebastian was allowed to live their life as they chose, free of both the expectations and affections of their father. They didn’t waste the opportunity. They became a frequent fixture at banquets, entertaining the crowds with their songs and storytelling and entertaining themself with the crowds. It was no secret that Sebastian liked to have fun. What they did keep close to the chest was who they liked to have it with. Women were soft and pretty and lovely, but Sebastian often found men just as alluring. They had no trouble filling their bed with both, but it was the men who they’d sneak out through the window the following morning. It was a necessary thing, he knew.

For a while, things continued like this. Sebastian lived off his family’s money, out of favor with a father who preferred to ignore them so long as they kept the trouble they got into small. It all came to a head the day their father came into their quarters to find another man in their bed, with little left up to interpretation regarding the events that brought him there. Sebastian’s father was furious, just as Sebastian had always known he would be. But they’d underestimated the heat of that fury, underestimated just how terrible their father could be. When all was said and done, the man Sebastian had brought into his bed the night before was dead, and Sebastian himself was traumatized, badly beaten, and engaged to be married to a nearby nobleman’s daughter the moment they were healed enough to stand without assistance.

When they stole through the window the night before the wedding, it wasn’t even about the nobleman’s daughter. It wasn’t about the man whose blood stained their sheets or the bruises still healing on their body. More than anything, it was about refusing to give his father what he wanted. It was about rejecting the child their father had always wanted them to be and instead allowing themself to become who they wanted to be. It was vengeance, in its own way. And it wouldn’t stop there.

To say that Sebastian was angry would be an understatement of epic proportions. They were furious. He traveled from village to village, spinning up stories where his father was a fantastical villain, singing songs where he was an evil so dark that it couldn’t even be mistaken for human. In these stories, Baz was always the hero. They slayed the dragon, they put a sword through the chest of the demon, they avenged themself nightly through their words to make up for the fact that they’d been unable to do so with their actions. And, eventually, he caught the attention of someone whose actions could go a little farther than their own.

Sebastian didn’t know that Ailwin was a spellcaster when they met him. What they knew, on that first night, was that Ailwin was beautiful and funny and listened to Sebastian like they were the only person in the room. They’d always had a habit of falling in love far too quickly — an artist’s quirk, they’d say — and this was no different. A few short weeks was all it took for Sebastian to find himself utterly smitten. A few more was all it took for Ailwin to offer to make their stories a reality. Baz would have accepted anything Ailwin was willing to give them, and they accepted this with starry eyes and a quick-beating heart. They didn’t fully comprehend the magic Ailwin was muttering until it placed them in their father’s quarters, Ailwin by their side.

In his stories, Baz was the hero. Ailwin only wanted to give them the chance to be the same in their real life. But Sebastian had never taken to the soldiers’ teaching and the dagger in his hand felt too heavy to lift. Their father woke up before Sebastian could lift the blade and, despite the surprise and the years that were catching up to him, moved as quickly and as surely as he had those years ago in Sebastian’s bedroom. It was only when Ailwin lay bleeding on the floor that Sebastian found the strength to do what Ailwin had brought them there to do but, by then, it was too late. Their father was dead, but so was their lover. Their vengeance was complete, but they found no joy in it.

It was some drunken nights later that the fury found him. She admitted that she’d been a fan of theirs for a while, said she’d always found them intriguing. News of his father’s death had been what inspired her to finally reach out. She offered them a chance to help people like them, people in desperate need of vengeance. She offered them a chance to live forever. Baz didn’t hesitate for a moment before accepting.

With a new leash on life — a new leash on a very long life at that — they did their best to put the past behind them. Living in the moment was far more enjoyable than dwelling on the past, after all. For centuries, he traveled the world, taking up residence wherever they saw fit and befriending other artists. They’d move on every few years, of course, but they made sure to always leave something behind. A song, a story, a wish. They did their best to make sure they’d never be forgotten.

And then came White Crest and, with it, a unique opportunity. White Crest was the sort of place where immortality was commonplace. Plenty of people lived there for hundreds of years without aging, without questions. After being unable to put down roots for so long, Baz found the concept incredibly tempting. He took up residence in the small town, finding joy and amusement in the chaos that seemed to plague it every so often — and finding just as much joy in contributing to that chaos, too. It was, they decided, a pretty great place for a fury to live.

Character Facts: 

Personality: Hedonistic, fun-loving, unreliable, free-spirited, enthusiastic, spontaneous, vain, charming, flighty, unfocused, easily bored

Sebastian is nonbinary and uses primarily he/they pronouns.

They fake their death every few decades to keep anyone from asking questions. The stories they spin on the nature of these ‘deaths’ have only grown more fantastical and unbelievable in the years they’ve been doing it. They’ve spun stories of themself dying by being trampled by elephants in Africa (which they claim, to this day, to be what inspired the story of the Lion King), pretended to have been lost at sea no less than seven times, and on one memorable occasion during the 1960s space race, faked their demise by spreading a rumor that they’d snuck aboard the Apollo 11 rocket and been left behind on the moon. 

When it comes to granting wishes, Baz tends to gravitate towards artists. They help them get their work off the ground, help make sure their stories are heard. The consequences of this are often dire, terrible things, as erinyes wishes tend to be, but they rarely care. The way they see it, any consequence is worth the achievement of having your work remembered. They often don’t understand why people resent them when the consequences come to bite them. It’s also rare for Baz to allow someone to take back a wish. When they do, they won’t let it happen unless they manage to ‘impress’ them by offering a song, poem, or story about why they ought to undo their wish. 

As a novelist, Baz draws inspiration from the wishes he grants. The consequences of wishes often make for great, balanced storytelling that draw on the cause and effect of magic.

While not popular in a mainstream sense, Sebastian’s books have something of a cult following. However, their fans aren’t quite who they’d like them to be. They’re more recognizable at comic conventions and similar events than they are at serious book festivals and conferences. Any attempts they’ve made at more ‘serious’ novels over the years have been overshadowed by publishers’ hesitance to take them seriously as a result of this.

Though a novelist by trade, Sebastian has a deep appreciation for all arts. They actually consider themself a musician more than a writer, but find publishing books simpler than composing music, as the latter would make it more difficult for them to avoid questions regarding his longevity.