#I am... finally done with Yunping City...

[ibijau]

Futures Past pt8 / On AO3

Meng Yao's future is dealt with.

To say that Lan Qiren was disappointed in his nephew for helping Nie Huaisang escape into Yunping City would have been an understatement. It was made quite clear to Lan Xichen that he would face punishment of his own for this misbehaviour. Real punishment, too, not just copying texts as had become standards for small infractions. Still, Lan Qiren listened to that tale of a corrupt merchant scamming people with fake manuals, which greatly irritated him, and thus forced sect leader Huang to care as well and deal with it immediately.

It was wrong to think maliciously of anyone without proof, and even more so if the person was an elder. Yet as they all walked toward the market Lan Xichen couldn’t shake the feeling that had he been alone when news of that crooked merchant reached him, Huang Quiling might not have cared enough to do anything about it. After all, he hadn’t asked Lan Xichen for any details about this business, and instead appeared intent on continuing his conversation with Jiang Fengmian about borders and trade.

Lives were on the line, Nie Mingjue and Meng Yao’s futures depended on this day, and nobody cared. 

They didn't care because they couldn't know, of course, but logic wasn't helping Lan Xichen's ever growing anxiety. He only calmed down when they all reached the place where the others were waiting, and found that everyone of any importance was still where he had left them. 

While Lan Xichen was gone, things had changed a little in the market. Most of the earlier crowd had dispersed, tired of waiting for more entertainment, and the market street was almost back to normal. Those few curious folks who remained were trying to inconspicuously listen in as Nie Huaisang chatted with, or rather at poor Meng Shi. The unfortunate woman looked deeply uncomfortable, but didn't dare openly disrespect the young master who had confirmed her son's potential for cultivation by walking away.

She couldn't leave yet, anyway, not until she'd gotten her money back for those fake cultivation manuals. From what Lan Xichen could see, Jiang Cheng and Meng Yao were taking care of that, the two of them counting money with that crooked merchant. Here and there Meng Yao would glance at Nie Huaisang, as if something he said attracted his attention, but each time Jiang Cheng brought his attention back to the task at hand.

When Lan Xichen and his elders came close enough to hear, the distress made sense: Nie Huaisang, after all this time, was still discussing the many failings of Jin Guangshan. Lan Xichen wished he were surprised, but there really was that much gossip going around about that man. Most people just didn't usually discuss all of it at once out of respect for a sect leader.

“And then, da-ge said that Jin zongzhu brought in dancers,” Nie Huaisang was saying to a rapt audience, insensitive to the discomfort of Meng Shi next to him. “Da-ge said it was getting embarrassing to watch when Jin Furen arrived, and she made such a scene because apparently her husband had promised to consult her about all the entertainments at the banquet but he brought the dancers without tell her. So then, she… oh, already?”

Nie Huaisang, so cheerful while telling his story, turned a little pale at the sight of Lan Qiren. He looked around for something to hide him from his teacher’s angry glare, and had to settle for slipping behind poor Meng Shi. Lan Xichen refrained from rolling his eyes, and directed his elders' attention where it was actually needed. 

“Here is the man,” Lan Xichen announced, motioning toward the merchant. “He has been selling fake cultivation manuals to people.”

“Fake talismans as well,” Jiang Cheng said, lifting a few before crumbling them in his hand. “And he has been doing this for a while. How long, did you say?”

“We started buying from him last year,” Meng Yao explained with a polite bow toward the older cultivators. “But he started coming to the market the year before that, and already offered the same wares. We assumed he had received permission to sell those items, since...”

Meng Yao trailed off, glancing toward sect leader Huang before bowing deeper as if in apology.

Strictly speaking, no sect could be expected to be aware of and to deal with every crook that operated in their territory, so Huang Quiling couldn't be blamed for that situation. At the same time, it would be considered shameful for any sect to have someone selling fakes in its own hometown of all places, and for so long. It spoke of unreliability on their part if people would rather go to a nobody on the market, or else it meant that they priced their services much too high for common people. It also meant they didn't care about commoners, who surely had to have complained about that merchant before. Either way, it wasn't a good look for Huang Quiling, and he would have to act properly to clean this stain on his reputation.

But instead of scolding the merchant or threatening him, Huang Quiling only had eyes for Meng Shi, who was glaring at him defiantly.

“So it's you again,” sect leader Huang muttered. “Meng Shi! Haven’t I told you to stop bothering cultivators?” he turned to the other two sect leaders and gave a small apologetic bow. “I’m sorry that your boys got caught up in this. Meng Shi is just a local whore who’s convinced herself that her bastard has what it takes to be a cultivator. Completely delusional, the boy will never amount to anything. You can't judge that merchant's wares just because the bastard of a whore didn't become an immortal from reading it. I'm unsure the boy can even read.”

Meng Shi, proud as a queen until then, went pale. Lan Xichen felt her shock and horror as if they were his own. He turned to glance at his uncle, worried he might side with Huang Quiling, but to his relief Lan Qiren instead appeared annoyed at the sect leader. It was probably only the coarse language that he disapproved of, and the public nature of this confrontation which he must feel stained all their reputations, yet Lan Xichen felt emboldened anyway.

“Huang zongzhu, have you tested Meng gongzi?” he asked. “We checked on him, and found he has potential.”

“What would mere boys know about these things?” Huang Quiling snapped at him. “Which one of you tested him?”

Lan Xichen hesitated, and glanced at the other boys. He hadn’t come anywhere near Meng Yao yet, and couldn’t lie about that. But if he said it was Nie Huaisang who had checked on Meng Yao, and after his horrible performance at the Night Hunt the day before, it wouldn’t be much of an endorsement. Lan Xichen himself only trusted Nie Huaisang’s assessment because he knew from that other future what sort of cultivation genius Meng Yao was.

“I’m the one who checked on him,” Jiang Cheng boldly lied. Or perhaps he really had checked, dubious as well of Nie Huaisang's assessment, because he continued: “For someone not born from gentry, his potential is not to be dismissed. It might be on par with Yunmeng Jiang's first disciple, if he were just taught properly.”

Huang Quiling, so disdainful a moment before, lost all of his confidence. He glanced at Jiang Fengmian whose face showed no particular expression, except perhaps mild curiosity now that Wei Wuxian had been mentioned. Lan Xichen wasn't sure what to make of that. He hadn’t often been near Jiang Fengmian except at the occasional discussion conference, and of course in the other future they had never gotten to work together as sect leaders. According to gossip, Jiang Fengmian was something of a pushover, who loved quiet and peace more than he cared about justice, but on occasion he could show strength of character if the mood hit him.

"What does his skill matter, with a mother like that?" Huang Quiling claimed, refusing to admit defeat. "No self respecting sect would knowingly take in the son of a whore. It'd be like teaching a pig to walk on two legs, dressing it in silk, and calling it human."

"People ought to be judged on their actions rather than their origins," Lan Xichen retorted, which caused sect leader Huang to glare at him with bulging eyes, his face dark with a rage so strong it robbed him of his words. Even without looking, Lan Xichen knew that his uncle too had to be shocked, that there would be hell to pay for this later. But then, if he was going to be punished, he might as well go all the way. "Just because you don't have the talent to teach someone,” he said, “don't assume a skilled teacher can't do it either."

Huang Quiling looked on the verge of having a Qi deviation, gaping and frothing at the mere boy who dared to insult him so openly. He wasn't the only one to stare, either. Nie Huaisang, the Jiangs, the Mengs, and above all Lan Qiren were looking at Lan Xichen as if he'd suddenly grown a second head.

A very rude second head, at that.

Lan Xichen just couldn't help it. Back in that awful future, the man he would have become had also been enraged and saddened at the unfairness of the world, particularly with regards to Meng Yao. If people hadn't judged him so harshly for something he had no control over, if instead they had taken notice of his skill, of his hard working personality, of his determination…

In that future, Lan Xichen had never dared to speak up, believing in the virtues of inaction and of leading by example, the way he'd been taught to behave. So far in this current life his attempts at being more active hadn't really worked so well, only ensuring that Nie Huaisang made a terrible friend in Su She and started hating Lan Xichen much earlier, but maybe this time, just maybe...

“Lan-xiansheng, your nephew is rather opinionated for a boy his age,” Huang Quiling complained. “I have heard a great deal how well behaved the young heir to Gusu Lan is, but it appears some reputations are undeserved.”

“My nephew will be dealt with,” Lan Qiren calmly replied, which dampened Lan Xichen's moment of rebellion more than anger could have. “And he will present excuses to you. Right now, Xichen.”

“But Lan gongzi's right!” Nie Huaisang exclaimed, coming out from his hiding place being Meng Shi. Under Lan Qiren's glare he shivered, but didn't give up. “I mean, he's right at least to ask if Meng gongzi was tested,” he mumbled. “And he's right to say it's not fair if nobody will teach him just because of his family! I've read our histories, you know. I know people didn't want to teach some butcher any cultivation because it's unclean work, and now we're a big sect. Isn't it the same? And it's not just us, right?”

His eyes darted toward Jiang Fengmian, who smiled at the unsaid accusation.

The official history said that Yunmeng Jiang had been founded by a group of rogue cultivators. They had tired of wandering, and established themselves in a small port which soon thrived thanks to their presence and influence. As far as founding stories went, it was a very respectable one.

The less official story was that their founder had been the leader of a band of thieves who had picked up a trick or two and figured that cultivation paid better than robbery. Lan Xichen had never been interested enough in the subject to do any research, but he had a cousin with a taste for history who swore that annals from that period corroborated the second version more than the first. If so, it wasn't much better than being descended from a prostitute, though enough time had passed that it didn't matter so much anymore.

“I see my nephew won't be the only one who needs to be dealt with,” Lan Qiren remarked in an icy voice. Nie Huaisang, having used up all of his courage in standing up to his teacher, hid again behind Meng Shi, trying to make himself small.

“Boys must stand for something, it's what youth is for,” Jiang Fengmian replied with good humour, before gesturing toward Meng Yao. “Come here, boy. Let's see what all the fuss is about.”

“Jiang zongzhu, you're not serious!” Huang Quiling exploded. “That boy is just...”

“I'm only curious. If his proximity is intolerable, then perhaps you might help my son check those manuals to see if they are real or fake. Jiang Cheng, help Huang zongzhu while we deal with this side of the problem.”

Huang Quiling went pale from rage at being ordered around in that manner, but with Yunmeng Jiang the larger and more respectable sect, he still obeyed. He stomped toward the merchant's stall in a manner Lan Xichen found lacking in the dignity to be expected of a sect leader. Meng Yao, for his part, hesitated to obey Jiang Fengmian's order until Jiang Cheng pushed him forward. Huang Quiling radiated hatred when Meng Yao passed by him on his way to the other sect leaders. He looked as if he might have tried something, or said some other insults, but Meng Yao wisely made sure to leave as much space as possible between the two of them, which wasn't easy in a crowded market street.

“Come closer, child,” Jiang Fengmian requested when Meng Yao hesitantly stopped a few steps away from him. “I am going to put my hand on you to check your meridians. It might feel a little odd... but if my son tested you, you know that already, hm?”

Meng Yao nervously nodded glancing back toward his mother who smiled encouragingly. He only shivered a little when Jiang Fengmian put one hand over his heart, and even less so when Lan Qiren did the same after being invited to do so by Jiang Fengmian.

“I suppose the children have a point,” Lan Qiren conceded, his expression turning somewhat warmer. “How old are you, boy?”

“I'm sixteen, Lan-xiansheng.”

Instantly, Lan Qiren's expression darkened again.

“Too old then. If you'd been two or three years younger... and even then it would have been difficult. It's best to start young.”

Meng Yao's shoulders slumped down at the news, while all of Lan Xichen's hopes were crushed. He knew that his sect preferred younger disciples, though he suspected it had less to do with actual cultivation, and more with the fact that children took to discipline better than teenagers. Still, he had hoped that Meng Yao, with his potential... but Lan Qiren's word was final in these matters, with only their sect leader having a right to contradict him. Meng Yao couldn't be brought into Gusu Lan.

Which meant another option would have to be considered.

With dread curling in his guts and a choking sensation tightening his throat, Lan Xichen looked at Nie Huaisang still half hidden behind Meng Shi, and found the other boy staring right back at him. Nie Huaisang no longer appeared as furious at him as he had been before, but that might have been because he was preparing his own move, ready to ruin all of Lan Xichen's efforts. Nie Huaisang opened his mouth, surely to offer again that Meng Yao be sent to Qinghe, but missed his chance to speak.

“Yunmeng Jiang has never looked down on older disciples,” Jiang Fengmian said with a pleasant smile. “It can be a challenge to learn cultivation with a late start, but anyone who cannot take a challenge has no place teaching in the Lotus Pier. Sixteen... it could be worse. One of my own shidi was in his thirties when he joined us, and still did well enough for himself.”

Lan Xichen shivered, his body tensing further at this proposition.

Perhaps it was because he knew already, but the resemblance between Meng Yao and his father, between him and his half-brother also, was quite striking to him. It was possible that Jiang Fengmian hadn’t noticed, but unlikely when he often dealt with Jin Guangshan. Even if he really saw nothing, his wife was well known to be a very close friend to Madam Jin. There was no way Madam Yu wouldn’t notice that their newest disciple resembled Jin Guangshan, and since she was said to be a tyrant and the true ruler of Yunmeng Jiang…

“Are you sure this is wise?” Lan Qiren asked. “Even if that boy can be taught, his family…”

“His mother taught him well enough that he would take the defence of a stranger even in a fight he couldn’t win,” Jiang Fengmian said. “Or so your nephew said before. A good heart is what matters.”

“But half of Yunping City could be his father,” Huang Quiling argued, who'd paid more attention to their conversation than to the cultivation manuals he was meant to inspect. “From the lowest beggar to any drunk merchant with too much money to waste.”

“His father is a cultivator,” Meng Shi said, striding to come at her son's side. “He said he would return for A-Yao, but…” She glanced at Nie Huaisang who had followed her to hide again behind her. He had shared so much gossip earlier, it would have been hard for her to keep her hopes up. She sighed. “I only want for my son to live up to his potential. If he can be a cultivator, then that’s... good enough.”

“Is your son under any contractual obligation?” Jiang Fengmian asked.

“He's not,” Meng Shi vehemently decried. “He's free.”

“That will make things easier. If that is fine with you, I will accompany you two to your place of residence. We can talk about certain details while your son packs, and then he will come to Yunmeng with me. Would that satisfy you?”

Meng Shi, speechless, could only bow deeply before her son's new master. Meng Yao did the same a few times, before hugging his mother, both of them too stunned by this good fortune to even smile. As they held each other's hands tightly, Jiang Fengmian gave his son a few things to do while he was busy.

Huang Quiling too appeared quite stunned by this turn of events, and a good deal less pleased than the Mengs, but he wisely kept quiet about it. Lan Qiren's refusal to teach Meng Yao on account of his age would save Huang Quiling some face, since he could now pretend he had the same issue, but it wouldn't surprise Lan Xichen is the relationship because Yunmeng Jiang and Yunping Huang remained tense for a while.

Lan Xichen couldn't quite feel sorry for it. He didn't like people who thought they were allowed to be rude to their inferiors, and hoped that sect leader Huang would learn something from this experience.

Then, having given his son instructions, Jiang Fengmian walked back to Lan Qiren to bid him goodbye, explaining he expected his schedule for the day to be so changed that they might as well separate for good right then. Lan Qiren agreed, but frowned as he glanced toward Meng Yao.

“That boy's father, with his looks...” he said in a voice low enough the Mengs might not hear, but still clear enough for a cultivator's ears.

Eavesdropping was forbidden, but Lan Xichen found he couldn't help himself. Neither could Nie Huaisang, who leaned toward the two men to hear better.

“Probably. I'll have his mother confirm it,” Jiang Fengmian said in a similar tone. “but it won't change things. Even if my wife doesn't like it, I would be a fool to pass a chance to teach a boy of such potential. And Jin zongzhu would never admit any relation, so it'll all be fine.”

Lan Xichen let out a deep breath, relieved that things had worked out so well after all. He would have preferred to have Meng Yao in the Cloud Recesses, where he could have watched him closely and made sure he didn't go again down the same path as before, but the Lotus Pier wasn't an awful option either. They'd managed to turn someone like Wei Wuxian into an honest enough man, so they might know how to deal with Meng Yao as well.

Even when Lan Qiren reminded his nephew and Nie Huaisang that they would both be harshly punished for their bad behaviour, Lan Xichen found that he didn't mind, not when there was a good chance they had saved Nie Mingjue's life.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Imagine if Meng Shi begged and bargained and collected favors till she was able to send her A-Yao to education with the Lan Sect, perhaps even become a cultivator with them. Would he take that change? Would he become a rogue cultivator? Would the strict rules help curb his inner muderimpuls or enrage him or teach him to hide better?

A Good Fit - ao3

“The…Lan sect?” Meng Yao said doubtfully. “Are you sure?”

“I am sure,” his mother said, her mouth tight. She looked upset, the way she always did these days when he referenced, intentionally or otherwise, the original plan that she had had to send him to join his father, sect leader of Lanling Jin. She’d raised Meng Yao on a steady diet of stories of what his life would be like when his father finally took him back the way he’d promised her he would, stories that had filled his days and nights for years and years and years, and then just last year she’d suddenly stopped talking about it entirely. It was as if the person who’d told those stories had nothing to do with her.

Meng Yao didn’t know what had happened, but he assumed it must have been pretty bad.

“It'll be a good fit,” she added.

“Then I’ll go to the Lan sect,” he said, and pretended not see the way his mother relaxed a little, relieved that he wasn’t asking too many questions. “I’ve heard they are gentlemen there, righteous but gentle; it will be the best match for my personality, I’m sure.”

A lie, of course. ‘Gentlemen’ were just as likely to come to the brothel as brutes, and they were all the same once they had a cup of wine and a beauty in their arms – Meng Yao tried not to have any illusions.

“Can we afford it?” he asked instead, since that was something he was sure his mother would have thought of, would have expected him to ask. “Gusu is so far away…”

“I have obtained a letter from the local sect recommending you to their sect leader, Lan Qiren,” she said. “He’s the one that teaches the classes – the one that sent out the summons asking the subsidiary sects to look for individuals with raw talent to join his classes and offering them an extra seat for their sects for each nameless orphan they find that lives up to Lan sect standards. Only the Heavens know why he’s doing something like that…I assume they’re trying to expand.”

That seemed like the most reasonable explanation. Meng Yao nodded. “So I’ll be traveling with the local sect?”

“That’s right,” his mother said, and raised her chin a little. “At least this much, your mother was able to do for you.”

She’d begged and bargained and traded favors for it, then, Meng Yao thought, and yet taking him along was to their own benefit: if they were looking for inherited cultivation talent sufficient for the Lan sect, then the bastard son of another Great Sect leader would be a better bet than some random nobody. She’d probably humiliated herself for nothing.

“Will you come with me?” he asked, more concerned with that – it was too easy for women of ill repute to disappear into the depths of the city if they didn’t have someone to watch out for them.

Even someone as young as he was. He wished he was older.

“You can come back to visit me during the Spring Festival,” she said, which meant no. “I’ll be all right, A-Yao.”

Meng Yao wasn’t so sure.

Still, not having him around would at least remove a visible reminder of his mother’s age – she’d been kicked out of the better brothels because of him, because no one wanted a woman who was a mother. Leaving would at least do that for her.

“I’ll write,” he finally said. “I’ll write as often as they let me.”

“And I’ll write back,” she promised him, kissing his cheek. “I promise.”

With that, Meng Yao supposed he had to be satisfied.

-

The Lan sect was both exactly like what Meng Yao expected and absolutely nothing at all like anything he could have dreamt.

For the first, his cynicism was almost immediately confirmed: the boys raised there were snobby as anything, looking down at the rest of them as little better than barbarians, and many of the adults were the same way. It was clear that this whole business of recruiting talented nobodies was a project of the sect leader’s – the interim sect leader, no less, not even the real thing – and nobody else’s; they were only just barely going along with it. Adding to that the fact that there were dozens if not hundreds of rules, and Meng Yao could glumly foresee a future of having his lack of knowledge held over his head as a fault, even with his marvelous memory to act as his backing.

For the second…

Well, there was Lan Xichen, who was – as unbelievable as it seemed – to actually embody all those things that people said about gentlemen, all kindness and gentleness and fierce upright pride, except only for real. There was Lan Wangji, who was basically perfect in every way and kinder than he gave the impression he was, willing to help tutor anyone who asked if only they dared disturb his solitude long enough to do so. There was the boy Meng Yao shared a room with, Su She, who’d punched the boy from the Yunping cultivator clan in the mouth for calling Meng Yao a son of a whore and pretended it was because they weren’t allowed to talk about that sort of thing, when actually it’d been because he hadn’t wanted rumors to get around that might make Meng Yao’s life harder in the future.

There was Lan Qiren, who was strict and a little boring but fair, painfully fair, handing out punishments with an equitable hand no matter that it meant that he was punishing the locals as often if not more often. It’d been his idea to bring people like Meng Yao into the Lan sect, and defending the idea was the only time he truly seemed moved to passion. Now that they’d passed the initial examination and been judged to match Lan sect standards, Lan Qiren announced, as far as he was concerned, they were Lan sect just as if they were born there, as if they’d been children of his own.

And he even seemed to really believe it, too.

Today, Meng Yao’s head was still warm from when the stern Teacher Lan had put his hand there, gentle and approving, and his ears still burning from the murmured “Well done, Meng Yao, as expected.”

“I think I would kill someone for him,” Meng Yao said dreamily to Su She, who snorted.

“You’ve got such father issues,” he said disdainfully, as if he didn’t have entire family issues. That was just Su She’s way, though – he bitched and moaned and complained without end, and he’d probably kill someone for Meng Yao if Meng Yao so much as hinted it was something he’d want. They’d made friends for a reason. “You know the bit about the poor kids being his own children is a lie, right?”

“I know which sect’s leader is my father, thanks,” Meng Yao said, rolling his eyes. “I’m well aware it’s not Teacher Lan. Like he’d ever have kids of his own, anyway.”

“That’d require noticing when someone’s flirting with him,” Su She agreed, all solemn for just a moment, and then he dissolved into sniggering giggles. Meng Yao couldn’t blame him: it was, in fact, extremely funny when women (and sometimes men) tried to flirt with Teacher Lan, mostly because of the way that he very genuinely and completely missed that that was what was happening each and every time.

“Laugh all you like,” Meng Yao said peaceably. “You’d kill for him, too.”

“Probably,” Su She agreed. “But only because of you.”

That was fair enough. After getting the lay of the land, Meng Yao had arranged for them to ‘accidentally’ be overheard by Teacher Lan while talking about the misconduct of one of the teachers who was the most biased against guest disciples, one of the ones that had been harassing Su She in particular for over a year before Meng Yao had arrived, and despite Su She’s initial nervousness about the plan, it had all gone splendidly. Sure, they’d been punished to do five copies of a treatise on upright conduct because they’d breached Talking behind the backs of others is prohibited, but the teacher in question had been sentenced to two hundred strikes with the discipline rod for abusing his position and three months of enforced seclusion to contemplate his misbehavior, and then, Teacher Lan had said, his expression dark and threatening, they could discuss what role would be the best fit in the future.

The other teachers had taken notice and shaped up very quickly, after that.

Comparatively, those five copies made in the nice cool Library Pavilion instead of having to do chores on the hottest days of summer? Practically a pat on the back for bringing it to his attention.

Su She would never have dared to raise anything if it was just him, Meng Yao thought; he had a strange fear of authority figures that combined envy and misery in an explosive combination – he would have just suffered and suffered and suffered until he’d been pushed too far and then it would have all burst out at once. He wasn’t like Meng Yao, who was unwilling to keep to his “proper” place and was more than willing to use his greater-than-average share of brains to get what he wanted, no matter what rules he broke in the process. He was the sort of person who was willing to do whatever it took to obtain his desires – no matter what it took.

Well, maybe not no matter what. He wouldn’t want to disappoint Lan Qiren too much.

(Okay, so maybe Su She was right and he had some unresolved father issues. So what if he did? Whose business was it but his?)

-

It’d taken Meng Yao a while to fully adjust to the Cloud Recesses.

Some parts he’d figured out right away – the way they all flattered themselves as gentlemen even if they were actually little more than hypocrites (Teacher Lan and his personally taught nephews exempted, of course), which of course meant that Meng Yao’s ability to act pitiful at the drop of a hat and cleverly turn black into white made him a teacher’s pet at once. The vegetarian meals were easy enough to adapt to, given that his mother hadn’t had the money for meat all that often, and the training and cultivation and all that wasn’t any challenge for his excellent powers of retention – he had ambitions of becoming one of Teacher Lan’s aides one day, and worked assiduously towards that goal. Even waking and sleeping early, which was practically the opposite of his schedule at home, was something he could adjust to, given time and incentive.

It was his mentality that took some time to adjust.

Meng Yao had perhaps grown up with too many of his mother’s stories, painting an image of a matchless paradise – at the start, he looked at everything around him, serene and elegant but not quite as rich and shining and thought that it would do, for now. When he’d first arrived, he had had every intention of making a good reputation for himself and using that reputation to get his real father’s attention – he’d liked Teacher Lan from the beginning, despite his best attempts to not let his heart be swayed, but he’d reasoned that if a teacher was like this, then a blood-related father would be even better.

And so, for the first half-year, he’d treated his time at the Cloud Recesses…not lightly, no. He was extremely serious about making sure to get the maximum benefit he could. And yet, at the same time, he still was not really committing himself to the place.

This wasn’t where he was going to live his whole life, he reasoned; it was just a stepping stone to a better future. That meant he would exert himself to point out things that made him look good, to eliminate obstacles in his path, to win himself allies, but not bother with those longer-term problems, the ones that really ought to be fixed but which would take a great deal of effort with little reward other than annoying people.

His feeling of superiority and emotional distance lasted right up until the first discussion conference.

From a distance, Jin Guangshan was everything Meng Yao could have imagined – perhaps a little too similar to the clients that his mother often saw, a little dissolute to pull off the air of a refined scholar he affected, but wearing more gold than Meng Yao had ever seen in his life, with a retinue of servants that dwarfed the other sect’s. Each of those servants were dressed more finely than even main clan cultivators in some of the smaller sects, and though Meng Yao’s Lan sect guest disciple clothing was of such quality that he didn’t need to fear their disdain, he couldn’t help but be secretly impressed.

He'd exerted himself more than usual to trade away all of his chores and duties, freeing himself up to take on patrol duty near the Jin sect. He’d perhaps daydreamed about some sort of encounter – nothing active on his part, of course, but he couldn’t quite resist playing through some fantasy of catching someone’s eye by chance, getting called over, a “You have a familiar set to your chin, who’s your father?”, a shy halting admission, recognition, a joyous reunion…

Instead, his father spent the entire night getting drunk and cursing the Lan sect’s hospitality for not providing him with girls to go with his liquor, calling Lan Qiren a miserable prude with a stick up his ass right in front of the Lan sect disciples that clenched their fists in barely concealed rage. He’d seen Meng Yao all right, ordered him to come forward, but it’d only been to mock him in front of all of his servants – and not even for being his bastard son, no, that would involve bothering to pick him out from the crowd or to ask who he was. No, he’d mocked him simply for being one of the poor disciples that Lan Qiren had taken in, all because his accent was marked with the distinct tones of Yunping rather than the sweetness of Gusu.

“Tell me, boy,” he said, breathing fumes into Meng Yao’s face and making him feel suddenly as if he’d never left the brothel – that the Cloud Recesses had all been a vague dream, and now he’d woken up and lost it all. “How does that old fart Qiren expect you to pay him back for all he’s done for you? I heard the Lan sect includes a pretty face as one of its standard requirements…”

Meng Yao put his gaze above his father’s head and pretended to be deaf.

“It seems like rather a lot of effort,” one of his father’s attendants remarked. “Even if Second Master Lan wanted a boy to warm his bed, couldn’t he just buy one like any normal person?”

“Bah, boys,” his father said, and leaned back, waving his hands in dismissal. “Why would anyone bother with a boy when you could have a soft woman instead? Just as long as they’re stupid enough – you know, there’s nothing worse than a woman who’s talented and knows it, too smart, always trying to get above their station…”

“You’re thinking about that whore in Yunping again, aren’t you? The one that interrupted your dinner and made a scene, claiming you’d promised to take in the son she bore you?” the attendant said, laughing. “I told you, you should’ve just killed her for her impudence rather than just having her beaten and thrown out. That way the matter wouldn’t still be bothering you…”

“Go away, boy,” another servant said to Meng Yao, who was frozen stiff in belated terror, nausea churning in his stomach as he realized his mother could’ve gone out one day and never come back, and he would never have known why – or maybe it was that he’d been spending his considerable time and brain on pleasing someone who would have done that, who nearly had done that. “Your accent’s brought back bad memories, don’t you see?”

Meng Yao left.

No, to be more blunt: he fled. He ran away, hot tears filling his eyes until he couldn’t see – belly full of regret and disappointment, crushed dreams feeling like broken shards of glass in his mouth and throat.

He tried to tell himself that it was better to find out now, when they were still distant, before he'd sold his soul for the futile chance to get that horrible man's affection, but he couldn't quite throw off the shame of knowing that if he hadn't heard such a thing up front, he probably would have done that. Would have humiliated himself like that, and for what? A man who regretted not murdering his mother?

He ran right into Lan Wangji, who was also on patrol.

Lan Wangji took one look at him and grabbed his wrist, dragging him away from the main pathway and all the way to his uncle’s rooms.

Lan Qiren was still awake despite the late hour, writing something at his desk, but he set aside his brush at once. “What’s going on?” he asked, frowning. “Wangji – Meng Yao – one of you report.”

“Meng Yao was on patrol by the Jin sect,” Lan Wangji explained as Meng Yao furiously tried to dash away his tears using his sleeve.

“Who permitted that? First year disciples aren’t permitted to patrol during discussion conferences,” Lan Qiren asked, his frown deepening. “It wouldn’t be proper – ah, but no, I recall now. I suppose it was inevitable. Wangji, well done, and thank you. You are dismissed.”

After Lan Wangji left, he turned his eyes on Meng Yao.

“You volunteered, didn’t you?” he asked.

Meng Yao felt his back go cold: Lan Qiren knew, then. It had never been said out loud by anyone as far as he knew, and yet it was clear that Lan Qiren knew who his father was – and probably his mother, too.

He knew that Meng Yao was – that he wasn’t anything more than –

“You are one of my most promising disciples, Meng Yao,” Lan Qiren told him, and poured him a cup of tea from his own pot, pressing it into his hands. It was finer tea than Meng Yao had ever had in his life, full of smoke and flavor. “The rules say Be loyal and filial, but they also praise reciprocity. You have not been recognized, and have not received your forefathers’ grace. You can fulfill your obligations to chivalry through your respect for the parent that raised you.”

Meng Yao stared down at the teacup. Lan Qiren had completely misunderstood the nature of Meng Yao’s concern – he was disappointed in what his father was, not worried about not living up to his obligations of being a filial child. And yet it was a little nice to hear that as far as Lan Qiren was concerned, the rules said that he could tell his father go hang for all he cared…

And that he ought to honor his mother, which was something no one who knew her had ever said to him.

“Even if she –” His voice stuttered. “Even if she’s a…”

He couldn’t say the word.

“Appreciate the good people is not qualified by class or profession,” Lan Qiren said, and his monotone voice was blissfully without emotion, as if this were just another lesson in class, and not the deepest hurt of Meng Yao’s life. “I have never met your mother, Meng Yao, but you are a good child – diligent, organized, sincere, with good judgment, and you clearly adore her. That tells me everything I need to know.”

Meng Yao burst into tears.

-

Meng Yao liked Lan Xichen a lot, but he also had to admit that sometimes, the older boy was, well…

“Dumb as a pile of rocks,” Su She announced.

“Do not criticize other people,” Meng Yao said piously, but then chuckled, shaking his head. “Say, rather, that he’s naïve and sheltered, and overly inclined to believe the best in people.”

“Like I said: dumb as rocks. How many times is going to get himself swindled into being someone’s sword or shield before he figures out that the problem is him?”

“Some people don’t have the capacity to understand the depths of humanity’s foulness –”

“Yeah, dumb ones.”

“Su She, please.” Su She held up his hands in surrendered. “At any rate, if Lan-gongzi is going to keep falling for people’s tricks, it’s beholden on us to help protect him.”

“You just don’t want Teacher Lan to be sad about something serious happening to his nephew,” Su She said knowingly, but he was already nodding. “All right, what are we going to do about it? He outranks us. We can’t exactly tell him to his face that he’s being…”

He paused.

Dumb as rocks went unsaid, but then, it didn’t need to be said out loud for the meaning to be clear.

Meng Yao sighed.

“You can only trick someone so many times,” he said. “If we want to keep him from getting tricked by other people, then we have to trick him first. And better.”

“What do you mean?”

“Lan-gongzi likes to save people,” Meng Yao explained. “He really sees himself as a chivalrous gentleman – he puts chivalry first, even though Teacher Lan says Learning comes first. That’s why he always sides with whoever he perceives to be the underdog in a given situation, no matter how wrong that impression is. That’s how most of the people who’ve been tricking him have gone for it: playing the victim, appealing to his sense of righteousness, pulling the curtains over his eyes to obscure what’s actually happening.”

“Okay. So?”

“So, we’ve both got miserable backstories – you being taken from your family at a young age and then bullied, me with my mother and, even worse, father. If we get him on our side, early on, he’ll side with us over anyone else – that way we can keep him from getting roped into other people’s private grudges.”

Su She frowned. “That seems a little manipulative.”

“It’s for his own good, and that’s what’s important,” Meng Yao said, and smiled faintly. “Wouldn’t you agree, Lan-er-gongzi?”

Su She jumped, turning around just in time to see Lan Wangji, who had been standing in the shadow of a nearby tree, step out.

He had a serious expression, as always, but a thoughtful one.

Meng Yao waited patiently.

“You cannot take advantage,” Lan Wangji finally said, and Meng Yao knew he’d won the most important ally in the battle to save Lan Xichen from himself. “That would change it from a virtuous act to a selfish one.”

“Like we need anything from him,” Su She said haughtily. “Maintain your own discipline.”

“Arrogance is forbidden.”

“It’s not arrogance if it’s justified! It’s just self-confidence!”

“Do not argue with family,” Meng Yao quoted, and was pleased to see both of them drop it at once. “Listen, we all share the same goal, and we have to start somewhere, don’t we? We’re stronger together than apart. Together, we can do anything, even protect Lan-gongzi.”

That and more, he thought as the other boys nodded, following his lead. Lan Xichen is just the start.

-

“The Wen sect will make trouble sooner rather than later,” Meng Yao said thoughtfully, one day. His friends turned to look at him. “Yes, I’m serious.”

Lan Wangji nodded, serious as always, but Su She scoffed.

“You can’t even convince that Wei Wuxian boy to leave poor Lan-er-gongzi alone,” he said snidely. “How exactly are you expecting to bring down the Wen sect?”

“I don’t convince Wei Wuxian to leave Lan-er-gongzi alone because Lan-er-gongzi doesn’t want to be left alone,” Meng Yao said. “Obviously. Isn’t that right?”

“You should call me by name,” Lan Wangji said, which wasn’t answering the question and definitely wasn’t denying anything. “You were saying, about the Wen sect?”

Meng Yao smiled.

-

“What brings one of Teacher Lan’s most promising disciples to the Unclean Realm?” Nie Mingjue said, peering at him thoughtfully. “You’re at the wrong time to be one of the usual messengers.”

Meng Yao smiled at him.

“I think you’ll find that we have similar goals, Sect Leader Nie,” he said. “When it comes to making sure that certain people in our lives don’t get hurt by the bad decisions of others, I mean. In your case, it’s your younger brother, who’s a friend of mine –”

Friend, source of information, it was all about the same thing in the end. Meng Yao didn’t have real friends outside the Lan sect, but he’d been very careful to cultivate good relationships with all his most important peers.

“- and for me, well. A teacher for day, a father for a lifetime. I’m sure Sect Leader Nie can understand the importance of protecting one’s father – right?”

“You don’t need to use any sophistry on me,” Nie Mingjue said, rolling his eyes. “If you have an idea on what we can do to stop the Wen sect before they go and burn someone’s house down, I’m all ears.”

By chance, Meng Yao did.

It was a good plan, too, daring and brave in equal measure. If it worked the way he hoped it would, he’d win enough fame to get Jin Guangshan to beg for him to join the Jin sect – not that he would, of course.

Meng Yao knew what he wanted, and he knew how he was going to get it, too.

-

“This is a lovely house, A-Yao,” Meng Shi said, running her hand along one of the soft tapestries on the wall. “Truly lovely. Whoever you rented it from has good taste.”

Meng Yao bowed. “Thank you for the compliment, Mother. I put a lot of thought into it.”

“You own it?” she asked, surprised. “But don’t you live up the mountain, with the sect?”

“I do. This is for you.”

“For – me? A-Yao! This is too much – how much must it have cost–”

“I saved the Lan sect’s core texts from being destroyed,” Meng Yao said. “I’m an inner sect disciple now – I could ask for a dozen houses like this, and they’d grant them to me without blinking twice. Teacher Lan would insist on it.”

“Teacher Lan,” his mother murmured. “That’s the one you’ve taken to treating as your own father, isn’t it? You’ve spoken so much of him, in your letters…”

“There’s no need to scheme,” he told her. “He wouldn’t notice your flirtations, anyway.”

His mother arched her eyebrows at him.

“He’s really oblivious.”

“Still…”

“Really no need,” Meng Yao said, and couldn’t help but smile at the memory of Lan Qiren pulling him into a hug when he realized that the books – and Lan Xichen – were all safe from the Wen sect’s attempt to burn down the Cloud Recesses, and, later, again, that Wen Ruohan was dead. He may have deliberately schemed for that second hug, and he might or might not have plans for more. “He already takes me as a son.”

His mother relaxed.

“Good,” she said, and smiled herself. “So, A-Yao, was I right, all those years ago? Was the Lan sect a good fit for you?”

“Yes, Mother,” Meng Yao said. “Yes, it was.”

[seekingthestars]

sarah watches the untamed: liveblogging adventures, part twenty seven episodes 46 + 47

(aka: wen ning and fairy are the real mvps here.)

alright y’all it’s been a week but now i’m snuggled up under a bunch of blankets with Emotional Support WangjiBun and WuxianBun and i am READY FOR THIS LET’S GOOO

episode 46:

“who could be worse than him!?!” ahhh have they finally decided there’s someone they hate more than wwx XD

oh god his son i forgot he’d had a son for a minute oh gross gross gross

poor little jin ling over here ;; 

look i still hate clan leader yao, he will always irritate me

me and wwx have the same thoughts, it’s amazing how quickly these people will turn on someone lol i mean Dimples deserves it after being being A Whole Evil, but STILL

I’M ACTUALLY CACKLING, TWO HOURS AGO THEY WANTED TO KILL WWX AND NOW THEY’RE LIKE “HEY BUDDY :D YOU SHOULD HELP :D” LIKE COME ON -.-

ugh i love all the little lotus lanterns all over Lotus Pier, they’re so pretty ;;;;

wangji going into the ancestral hall with wuxian, he is good boy ;~~;

“after all, you two are sworn brothers.” ;AAAAAAAAA;

lan zhan about to smack jiang cheng

jiang cheng is hurting MY feelings, buddy no ;;

“Let him go.” WANGJI I LOVE YOU that was v attractive

WUXIAN ;AAAA;

WEN NING ;AAAA;

oh SHIT OH MY GOD WHAT

WUXIAN GAVE JIANG CHENG HIS GOLDEN CORE. THAT WAS ALL THE RESEARCH. IT WAS WEN QING. EVERYTHING MAKES SO MUCH SENSE BUT ALSO NOW EVERYTHING HURTS EVEN MORE

JIANG CHENG HE GAVE UP SO MUCH FOR YOU AND THEN YOU JUST HATE HIM I’M SAD :(

(bless this teeny extra peek we get of cape outfit) (wen ning is so sweet being so proud of his sister and calling her the best doctor of their section of the wen clan, also him in this entire sequence makes me ;; <3 wen ning is goodest boy ever)

WANGJI CRYING, JIANG CHENG CRYING, I’M CRYING, EVERYONE CRYING

WEN NING THANKING WANGJI FOR TAKING CARE OF YUAN, i’m so emotional

flashback to wangji finding yuan hiding in the burial mounds y’all i am legit so emotional

okay look wen ning is literally the best boy, wangji’s like “you didn’t tell him?” and he’s just, in his sweet little soft voice, “he’s happy now. i don’t want him to be less happy.” PLEASE. WHO COULD EVER HATE HIM. HE IS A SWEET SWEET BABY

OH MY GOD WUXIAN HAD TO BE AWAKE THE WHOLE TIME

weeps that explains why he looked so hurt when he was captured by wen chao, i remember thinking he looked really sick THAT’S WHY OH MY GOD BABY ;A;

TWO NIGHTS AND ONE DAY. WEEPING.

i’m squishing WuxianBun so much ;;

(unrelated but everything about lotus pier is so pretty, even the random lake looks lovely, sighs i love lotus pier)

YANLI ;AAAAA;

NOW WUXIAN IS CRYING when will this show stop making me so emotional, the answer is probably never

Wangji picking the lotus seed pod and handing it to wuxian and saying “Only today” bc he knows everything that’s been going on now and knows how upset wuxian must be and he’s going to let him have this little bit of home for today and oh my god FEELINGS

omg they ate so many XDDD

ohhhh sparkly golden butterfly PRETTY

guangyao (look i am TRYING to use his new name, i am MAKING AN EFFORT) came to lotus pier/yunmeng??? ohhhh boy

and we’re off to yunping city!

POOR NING BEING BULLIED but he’s so CUTE 

i love sparkly butterfly magic it’s v v pretty

look i know it’s midnight but it’s been a moderately rough week and i don’t have anything going on tomorrow and despite the fact that this show makes me emotional it also makes me SO HAPPY so ONWARD

episode 47

oh my god wait a minute is wuxian trying to play matchmaker for wen ning bc i’m about to lose my mind laughing if that’s what’s happening right now

“he needs to make some friends at least! i think sizhui is the perfect candidate!!” I ALMOST MADE THE DUMBEST NOISE OH MY GOD WUXIAN OH MY GOD I’M DYING OF COURSE THEY WOULD BE FJEWAOIFA FAMILY

wangji being like “oh crap quick dodge the statement, turn and run” XDD

wen ning looks so SAD being told he should stay behind in the inn, omg actual baby wen ning

hmm guangyao why you out here buying temples

monk seems suspicious

the wonder trio back at it again, breaking in places, solving mysteries

ohhhh no spoopy smoke, that can’t be good

FAIRY. JIN LING MUST BE HERE

THERE HE IIIIIS

XICHEN? what are YOU doing here, buddy

excuse you, misters with the bows, you better freaking not shoot jin ling

JIN LING WHY ARE YOU CLIMBING THE WALL PLS BUDDY

wuxian being a great uncle and saving him but also COVER IS BLOWN

THE DIMPLES OF BETRAYAL ARE IN FULL FORCE TONIGHT

i audibly gasped at the shot of the wire cutting into wuxian’s throat NO

jin ling didn’t get away :(((((((

“Chase and kill it” DON’T YOU FREAKING DARE KILL FAIRY, YOU HAVE FOR SURE GONE TOO FAR GUANGYAO

Dimples is just SO EVIL feaiwofjawo;fewa god zzj plays such a GOOD evil villian 

jin ling sitting a little behind xichen and clinging to his dad’s sword ;;;; like his dad’s sword is his security blanket and if he has it, he feels a little better ;;

i think the jin clan must teach a class in the art of the Sleeve Swish bc Zixuan did it, Jin Ling’s done it, Meng Yao’s out here sleeve swishing away

HUAISANG?!?!? MY BB

ughhhhh go away su she

“Why do you know the Lan principals so well?!” “I transcribed it so many times, I memorized it.....” “WHY THOUGH.” “it was my punishment.” “SHAME ON YOU.”  FJEWIOFJEW HAHAHAHAHA

“Or else you will be pissed off by me.” I LAUGHED OUT LOUD GOD I LOVE WUXIAN SO MUCH

wangji has the freaking fastest reaction times, those reflexes

JIANG CHENG BURSTING IN LIKE THE MOST MAJESTIC ANGRY GRAPE

AND FAIRY!!!! Jin Ling looks so happy Fairy’s back T___T <3

Wangji’s -__- face as he holds up his sleeve for Wuxian to hide behind and Wuxian cheering on Fairy to bite Su She IT’S ADORABLE AND I LOVE IT

jiang cheng ain’t here to play around, y’all

god that SMIRK foejawif meng yao your dimples truly overflow with evil :(

jiang cheng ;;;

that delighted evil grin omg what iiiiiis iiiiiiiit

okay i guess i should stop and go to bed since it’s 1:45 but!!!! only three episodes left, this is insane!!!!!

[ibijau]

Futures Past pt9 / On AO3

after being punished for their behaviour in Yunping City, Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen have a chat about friendship and forgiveness

warning for mentions of corporal punishment

Nie Huaisang failed to contain a whine as another blow from the discipline rulers hit him. When no more followed, and Lan Qiren finally announced that he and Lan Xichen could stand again, Nie Huaisang instead collapsed to the ground, exhausted by the beating. 

"I said stand up," Lan Qiren ordered. "I went easy on you this time. Don't expect such leniency again." 

Nie Huaisang almost laughed, only for it to come out as a choked sob. He was no stranger to being punished, but at home it was done differently. To think he used to call his brother's methods cruel… but he would gladly have taken Nie Mingjue's extra training over that awful, pointless beating he'd just received. 

He was half convinced he would just expire there, in the dust of that courtyard of the Lan discipline hall, when strong, slender hands grabbed him by the armpits and helped him up. Lan Xichen, who barely had a hair out of place in spite of enduring the same punishment, weakly smiled at Nie Huaisang and silently encouraged him to lean on him until he felt better. 

Nie Huaisang wondered if he hated Lan Xichen for having a cultivation so great that this beating hadn't impacted him, or pitied him for apparently being used to such treatment and thus enduring it so well. 

"Let this be a reminder to follow rules and respect your elders," Lan Qiren said, glaring at both boys. "Now go, I've seen enough of you."

Lan Xichen, ever respectful, bowed before his uncle and thanked him for taking time to educate them. Nie Huaisang had no choice but to bow as well, though he refused to be thanking anyone for what he had just endured and firmly pinched his lips in pointless rebellion. 

Especially pointless when he knew that this was but one half of the punishment : Lan Qiren had also assigned both of them to write an essay, and to copy a few times certain rules relevant to their behaviour in Yunping City. And to make it worse, Nie Huaisang wouldn't even be able to ask Su She to help him: his friend had gotten in trouble during his absence, and was punished as well. 

At least, Yunping City had been a success of sorts. Meng Yao was probably never going to join Lanling Jin now, which was good, and Nie Huaisang hadn't needed to kill anyone the way his future self had half implied he should do, which was great. It might be worth a little pain, Nie Huaisang thought as Lan Xichen slowly led him out of the discipline halls. 

After having walked in silence a little bit, Lan Xichen stopped. Nie Huaisang, expecting to be sent away to his cabin, or scolded further for dragging Lan Xichen in his mischief, braced himself for yet more unpleasantness. 

"Would you like to come home with me?" Lan Xichen offered instead. "I can make you a certain tea I have which will help with the pain, and we can work on our punishments together." 

"You're not going to poison me, are you?" Nie Huaisang asked. Lan Xichen gave him a puzzled look so he shrugged. A mistake, with the state of his back. "It's just that you wouldn't have been punished if I didn't go out." 

"And you wouldn't have been punished if I hadn't helped you go out," Lan Xichen replied. "So I would say we're even. Besides, Wangji will be home and I'd rather not deal with him right now. He gets very judgmental about people breaking rules, but he won't say anything if we have a guest."

The idea of spending yet more time with Lan Xichen was an unappealing one when Nie Huaisang still remembered that bad taste joke about Su She. Normally, he wouldn't have considered it at all, his future self be damned. Now though, with the promise of something to deal with the pain… 

Principles were well and nice, but Nie Huaisang decided he didn't have the sort of personality needed to suffer heroically for his beliefs. 

He accepted the invitation.

Just as Lan Xichen had said, Lan Wangji was in the house when they arrived. He threw his brother a most betrayed look, as if Lan Xichen had personally murdered someone rather than just been a little rude to an awful man, but when he noticed Nie Huaisang he kept to himself whatever remarks he might have had and just left them alone. What a stuffy boy, really. If it had been Nie Huaisang whose older brother had misbehaved, he would have found the whole thing hilarious and teased Nie Mingjue to hell and back. Su She was clearly right whenever he complained about Lan Wangji being the most bland and boring person in the world.

Once Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang were alone, Lan Xichen set out to prepare the tea he had promised, while inviting Nie Huaisang to sit down. Sitting wasn't particularly comfortable right then, but Nie Huaisang still obeyed. He quickly noticed that Lan Xichen was preparing a different blend of tea for himself, and asked about that when Lan Xichen handed him a warm glass.

“The pain isn’t so bad for me,” Lan Xichen explained. “It would go against the spirit of the punishment if I took something, especially when shufu didn’t tell me I could. But you are our guest, and I know you’re unused to such methods, so it would be cruel to let you suffer.”

Nie Huaisang wrinkled his nose, both because he could tell he had just been called weak in a very polite manner, and because his tea had a rather strong smell. The taste wasn’t so bad, though, and after a few sips he felt his body start to relax, the pain still present but more dull and no longer the only thing on his mind.

“I’ll give you some of that tea,” Lan Xichen said before Nie Huaisang could even comment on the effect. “So you can have some more before sleep, and tomorrow morning as well, or else classes promise to be difficult to put up with for you.”

“It’s not like they’re easy even at a normal time,” Nie Huaisang retorted.

“Then there’s no reason to make it even worse, is there?”

Nie Huaisang said nothing, watching Lan Xichen with a slight pout. It seemed to him that Lan Xichen was in awfully good spirits for someone who had just taken such a beating. In fact, Lan Xichen had seemed in a very good mood since Yunping City, or at least since after that encounter with Meng Yao, hadn’t he?

From talking with his future self, Nie Huaisang knew that both Meng Yao and Lan Xichen would have been involved in Nie Mingjue’s death. He hadn’t really given it much thought yet, but what if that hadn’t been their only link? Meng Yao had a pleasant personality and was as good looking as all of Jin Guangshan’s trail of bastards, so with the way Lan Xichen had so vehemently taken his defence that day… Nie Huaisang thought he might ask his future self about that. Then, remembering he didn’t much like the man, and that his future self was a little too fond of mysteries, he realised he’d have to figure this out on his own if he ever wanted to know.

He wasn’t sure he did want to know, but between trying to find out if Lan Xichen had developed an instant crush or doing the essay Lan Qiren had demanded…

“So, Lan gongzi, how come you’re so nice today? I mean, you’re always nice of course, but you’re in a very good mood considering…”

Nie Huaisang made a vague gesture. When the movement made him wince, he took a few more sips of tea.

“A few things that were worrying me have cleared up,” Lan Xichen explained. “Although if you really want to know why I offered you this tea, and to help with your essay…”

“I am quite curious about that, yes.”

“I suppose I feel I owe it to you,” Lan Xichen said, lowering his eyes. “I was… I realise I was unpleasant to you when we were in Yunping City. First I made things difficult for you when we met while visiting the town, and then my tasteless attempt at joking about your friendship with Su She… I should have behaved better than this.”

Without thinking, Nie Huaisang nodded. He’d been upset about the way Lan Xichen behaved toward Su She even before, but that joke had just been too much. And then the accusation of him having a crush… well, that had just been mean. Mostly because it made Nie Huaisang feel awkward about hanging out with his friend again, when already his future self’s cryptic mention had made things weird. 

He didn’t want to be thinking of Su She like that, because he knew from their chats that Su She only liked girls, whereas Nie Huaisang…

But it didn’t matter what Nie Huaisang liked anyway. Not unless his brother hurried up and got married… but since his future self appeared to be a sect leader, Nie Mingjue probably hadn’t gotten around to do that, meaning Nie Huaisang would be left with the duty of continuing the family line.

So it didn’t matter if he liked Su She in any way except as a friend, because that was all they would ever be, which was fine. Su She was a good friend to have.

But speaking of Su She...

“Lan gongzi, I have a question for you,” Nie Huaisang said.

Lan Xichen emptied his glass of tea and smiled politely.

“I’m listening.”

“See, I thought I had you figured out,” Nie Huaisang explained, tapping his fingers against the side of his own glass. “I thought in the end, you were just another Lan prick full of himself and convinced that only people born in a great sect, or at least in a sect at all, are actually people. With the way you are about Su She, I really thought you were that sort of person.”

Lan Xichen winced at being called a prick, but didn’t actually protest, which Nie Huaisang took as an admission of guilt.

“But you weren’t like that with that Meng Yao and his mother,” Nie Huaisang continued, putting down his glass with an impatient gesture. “You were nice to them. More than Huang zongzhu for sure! And you said that stuff about treating people by their actions not their origins, and you sounded like you meant it, and about the son of a courtesan too! So now, I feel I don’t understand you at all, and I’ve got to ask. Why do you dislike Su She that much?”

Hearing Nie Huaisang’s question, Lan Xichen was silent for a long while, observing the other boy as if somehow, the answer to his dislike of Su She lay within Nie Huaisang.

“Why do you like him so much?” he said at last.

“I asked first!”

Lan Xichen sighed. “And I’m not sure what to answer. I had formed a certain opinion of Su She, but perhaps… I could be wrong. So please help me understand how you see Su She, so that I might revise my judgment.”

“He’s fun, that’s really the main thing,” Nie Huaisang said. “And he tries hard. He’s always trying so hard. Half the time we hang out, he’ll end up practising in some way, because he wants so badly to catch up to the other disciples. And he’s quite skilled, too. I think his teachers don’t like him because he can have a bad temper, but he’s real clever, and real good at music too. It’s really annoying that people treat him badly. Like that thing with Jin Zixun while we were in Yunping City? I’m so sure it wasn’t Su She’s fault, but because it’s him, everyone thinks he’s done something wrong and they punished him! It’s unfair!”

Impassioned by this defence of his friend, Nie Huaisang half stood up from his seat, only for the pain in his back to flare up again at the sudden movement, forcing him to sit down again. Lan Xichen watched him through all of it, his face turned into an expressionless mask.

“Nie gongzi has a very strong sense of justice, I see.”

Nie Huaisang shrugged, and only half regretted it.

“Not really. If we weren’t friends, maybe I wouldn’t care,” he admitted. “But he is my friend, so it bothers me, and I don’t know how to help… but you could, and yet you don’t. He’s a disciple of your own sect, but you treat him with less regard than you do a complete stranger you met at a market. If you took his defence, then everyone else would have to stop bothering him!”

“I suppose,” Lan Xichen said with obvious reluctance. “It is wrong he’s not given a fair chance.”

“It is! Lan gongzi, please, please help Su-xiong,” Nie Huaisang begged. “I’ll really owe you, and… and I’m sure you’d get along with him if you just gave him a chance! And he’s really a good element to have in your sect, and… ah, he even has a beautiful handwriting, you know!” Nie Huaisang exclaimed, hit by a sudden realisation. “So maybe he could help with that thing you’re doing of copying books!”

Lan Xichen, already a little upset at their topic of conversation, went very pale at that new suggestion.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Of course you do,” Nie Huaisang insisted. “Every time I see you, you’re copying something. And not just you, I’ve seen other Lan disciples do it in the library too, and some of the juniors when they’re being punished. But mostly only the ones that are teachers’ pets. Well, that’s what Su She said when I asked about it. But he could help! He’s really good at writing, and he knows the rules well, and…”

“We’ll see,” Lan Xichen dryly cut him. “Although I’d appreciate if in the future, you did not mention anything about those books being copied. It is private sect business, and Gusu Lan does not wish for it to be known.”

“But you always do it, even in front of me.”

“I didn’t expect Nie gongzi to pay attention to what I was doing. My mistake, of course.”

Meaning he thought Nie Huaisang was too stupid to notice. Of course Nie Huaisang had already guessed it was something of the sort, that Lan Xichen really had such a low opinion of him, but it still annoyed him.

“If I keep that to myself, will you be nicer to Su-xiong from now on?”

“Blackmail is forbidden,” Lan Xichen replied. “By my sect, and by yours as well, I believe. As for Su She… I’ll see what I can do. But first, Nie gongzi, I have another question for you.”

Lan Xichen’s tone sounded odd, too polite somehow, but Nie Huaisang still nodded.

“Thank you. It is a question of… philosophical nature, I suppose, and perhaps only distantly linked to our conversation, but here it is. Do you think that everyone deserves a second chance?”

It was a very weird question, but also a very earnest one, Nie Huaisang felt. Certainly Lan Xichen had a very intense expression on his face. Why he would have asked this as they were talking about Su She, who hadn’t done anything wrong except for having an occasionally difficult personality, Nie Huaisang couldn’t say. Unless there had been some incident in the past that Su She hadn’t mentioned, or worse where he hadn’t realised he’d offended Lan Xichen? It seemed unlikely but not impossible, so Nie Huaisang gave the question due consideration before answering.

“Yes, I think people deserve second chances. Sometimes, they just don’t know that they’re doing something wrong. But I also think they have to know they’re getting a second chance.”

“So they know they won’t get another one?” Lan Xichen asked, his eyes almost shining now, as if he were the one who’d done wrong in the past. But then why would he be angry at Su She? And why wouldn’t Su She have mentioned it, when he never hesitated to complain about others’ faults?

Again, Nie Huaisang took a moment to think about it before shaking his head.

“A bit, but mostly not. It’s just that like I said, people don’t always know they’ve done something wrong,” he explained. “So what da-ge says you must do if someone acts in a bad manner is, you’ve got to let them know, and then they can actually understand what they’re doing wrong, and do better later. Oh! I guess that’s what I’m doing!” Nie Huaisang exclaimed, clapping his hands. Lan Xichen threw him a puzzled look, to which he answered with a smile. “Lan gongzi, that’s what I’m doing right now. I’m giving you a second chance!”

Lan Xichen paled so much so that it almost made his robes look colourful in contrast. Nie Huaisang’s enthusiasm fell quickly. He wondered if Lan Xichen was going to have another moment of complete panic, the way he’d done in Yunping City. Nie Huaisang braced himself to take the other boy’s hand again and hold it until he got over whatever was happening to him, since that had seemed to help the other time.

Before he could move, Lan Xichen took one big gasping breath, and forced a smile.

“I’m… I’m thankful for Nie gongzi’s… for your generosity,” he said in a trembling voice, as if he couldn’t breathe quite right. “I… I will try to be worthy of it.”

“So you’re going to help Su-xiong?”

Lan Xichen flushed and nodded shortly.

“Yes, if it matters so much to you. But in exchange, might I… would you let me make a request?”

“You can always ask,” Nie Huaisang replied, which even he knew was a less than polite answer, but Lan Xichen appeared so shaken still that he didn’t remark on it.

“Would you let me give you music lessons?”

“What? Why… You’ve suggested it before, and I’ve told you, my grades in your uncle’s classes are…”

“I wouldn’t make those lessons depend on the results of those lectures you attend,” Lan Xichen said a little too quickly. “I have told you before, I would like us to get along, since we both care about Mingjue, and who knows, it might be useful in the future if you know how to…” He paused, and took another deep, shaky breath. “I think it would be nice to spend time together like this. I know you haven’t particularly enjoyed my company so far, but…”

“I like when you do my homework,” Nie Huaisang generously protested. It really was the only pleasant part of their time together thus far, and he'd been pretty rude already so he had to say something nice. “And I know you’re busy, with the copying that I won’t talk about anymore, and you’re helping with teaching the little kids, and… and I know you don’t like me much, and you’re going to like me even less if I fail to learn anything from you.”

“If you don’t like it, we will stop,” Lan Xichen promised. “But I’d still like to try.”

Nie Huaisang huffed, unsure what to say.

Of course he had to spend more time with Lan Xichen. His future self had been so angry to hear he wasn’t making progress in getting Lan Xichen’s trust, and Nie Huaisang would like not to be shouted at again. At the same time, he was still quite angry at Lan Xichen about his treatment of Su She, and wouldn’t believe in the older boy’s promises until he saw them actually be put into action.

With that said, though, the perspective of learning music was… well, it certainly had appeal. Anything that wasn’t cultivation or martial arts had appeal. If he could learn the guqin, even just a little… it was what proper gentlemen did, right? They painted, and played music, and did calligraphy, and… 

And maybe now that Nie Mingjue was probably not going to die after all, perhaps Nie Huaisang could start dreaming again about a perfect future where he’d do nothing all day but be accomplished in ways that mattered to him as the elegant and useless second master of Qinghe Nie.

“Fine. If Lan gongzi really wants, I’m willing to try,” Nie Huaisang said, making it sound as if he were doing Lan Xichen a huge favour.

Maybe he was, because Lan Xichen gave him a real smile upon hearing that answer.

“Thank you, Nie gongzi. I appreciate you giving me this second chance.”

Nie Huaisang laughed awkwardly. He’d mostly said that as a joke, but apparently Lan Xichen had taken this second chance thing quite seriously. He really was such a weird person at times. Weird but… but perhaps not entirely awful. If he really taught Nie Huaisang music, if he really kept his word and started taking Su She’s side more… 

Nie Huaisang was too lazy to hold a grudge, especially if the other person made real efforts to change.

“Now,” Lan Xichen said, “let’s get started on those essays for my uncle, since we’re here. I think this might be quite fun, if we apply ourselves well.”

Nie Huaisang groaned, and dramatically let himself fall over the table.

He took it back. All Lans were awful, and they were out to get him and torture him to death, and he hated every single one of them.

[ibijau]

“I’ve got a sick sense of justice, but you knew that.” 3zun fic? Where things work out between them, somehow, and yet JGY still kills JGS the same way and defends that choice to LXC and NMJ (Or JZX, if he's alive)? Can go full on JGS was stealing his women's energy, hence their sickness/deaths!

warning for mentions of death, rape and murder. Yay, it’s a happy one :D

Nie Mingjue storms into the cell, only for Jin Guangyao to look up and smile at him, as if he were welcoming him into his quarters, rather than locked up and in chains. He smiles just as peacefully to Lan Xichen when he follows their lover inside, pretending not to notice the other man's obvious distress. 

"I hope Da-ge and Er-ge will forgive me if I do not stand and bow to them," Jin Guangyao calmly says, rattling his chains. 

Nie Mingjue stares at him, taken aback. 

Even though they have reached a tentative peace between them, and Jin Guangyao often makes efforts to be more open with them than he is with anyone else, he still is the same person he always was. When he gets in trouble, he makes himself pathetic before them, almost on instinct. Sometimes it annoys Nie Mingjue, but other times it feels almost like a joke between them, as long as Jin Guangyao has that twinkle in his eye to show he knows he won't be taken seriously. 

To see him this calm and detached is unsettling. Nie Mingjue can only wonder if it has something to do with that large bruise on the side of his head. Going by the colour it is at least a day old. No cultivator of Jin Guangyao's level should have let this last this long. 

"Ah, this," Jin Guangyao notes, feeling their gaze. "Zixun was not very happy and let it be known. I am sorry to present myself before you in such a state, but my powers have been sealed, and I could not do anything about it. Please, just avoid looking at it." 

That makes Nie Mingjue frown. If Jin Zixun is behind one bruise, he's ready to bet there are more, hidden under Jin Guangyao’s clothes. He forces his mind to drift away from the worry he feels, because the real problem today is… 

"Did you do it?" Lan Xichen asks, something wavering in his usually calm voice. 

Jin Guangyao placidly looks up at him. 

"What do you think, Er-ge?" 

Lan Xichen trades a glance with Nie Mingjue. 

What they think is that Jin Zixun, who uncovered the plot against his late uncle, is not the most reliable man in the world, and holds a grudge against Jin Guangyao since that near fiasco with Wei Wuxian at Jin Ling's hundredth day party. 

They think also that he did bring convincing evidence. The most critical one is the testimony of a woman who took part in the murder of Jin Guangshan. She says she did not see the man who paid for her services, but she would recognise his voice. She also did see Xue Yang, and they all know the little creep respects no one except Jin Guangyao. 

They think that Jin Zixuan is desperately trying to prove his half brother's innocence, but finding it difficult. 

They think that Jin Guangyao has killed his superiors before. 

They think he promised he wouldn't again, and they both made the choice to trust him. 

And Nie Mingjue thinks, also, that although they've disagreed on means and motives, Jin Guangyao never strikes unprovoked, which he says out loud. 

The tenderness in Jin Guangyao’s eyes as he hears this is nearly unbearable. 

“Da-ge, are you really asking for my side of the story?” he asks in disbelief. 

It might be sincere. It might be feigned. Nie Mingjue never knows with him, just as he suspects Jin Guangyao never knows what to expect from him.

“We know your father was not… the kindest of men,” Lan Xichen says gently, kneeling down next to Jin Guangyao to send some spiritual energy into him and help him heal. Jin Guangyao sighs in relief, but keeps his eyes on Nie Mingjue even as Lan Xichen continues speaking. “You have let us know about some of the things he’s done, A-Yao, and I’ve long suspected there’s more you never told us. If he did anything to deserve such an end…”

“Of course he deserved it,” Jin Guangyao cuts him, still looking at Nie Mingjue. “You both know it as well as I do. He deserved it whether I had a hand in it or not. He was a selfish man. He only joined the Sunshot Campaign because he hoped to become what Wen Ruohan had been. He only took me in because his true son, forcefully kept from the heat of the action, failed to garner glory for Lanling Jin. And I won't get into the details of everything that happened with Wei Wuxian."

"But none of these things are why you killed him," Nie Mingjue retorts, suddenly convinced that Jik Guangyao really did it. 

Once, it would have filled him with rage to realise this. Back when he first understood what sort of a person his efficient and soft spoken friend was, when he saw Jin Guangyao murder his own captain… But since then, Nie Mingjue has learned to forgive, at least somewhat. Because when Jin Guangyao killed Nie Mingjue’s men in Nightless City, he took care to only murder those who once derided him for his background, to lightly wound the ones who never mocked him. 

It was still wrong, those were still good men, but Nie Mingjue, who had been burning for years with his hatred of the Wens, understood that better than he ought to have done. 

So there is no anger as Nie Mingjue too kneels down next to their lover. Only disappointment. In himself, for wanting to excuse this most awful crime. In Jin Guangyao, for not coming to them this time, when he thought something was wrong. They had listened about Wei Wuxian, they would have listened about this too. 

"Some brothels offer specialised services," Jin Guangyao says, the smile on his face shifting from loving to cold and polite, the way it used to be around his father. "I suppose this doesn't surprise you. Someone with money can always get what they want in this world." 

Both Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen nod uncomfortably. 

"Some of those services offered are of a rather different nature," Jin Guangyao goes on, his eyes growing distant. "They are difficult to perform, cannot be repeated, and cost an obscene amount of money… not to speak of the moral cost. It takes a certain kind of man to purchase such services. Believe it or not, even Xue Yang found it distasteful. For all the wrong reasons, but still, I think Da-ge and Er-ge will agree that it takes a lot to shock someone like Xue Yang."

Lan Xichen takes their lover's hand, trying to comfort him, but Nie Mingjue freezes. He is suddenly reminded of certain rumours, gossip so foul that it had to be exaggerated. He's always refused to pay it any mind, knowing well there were horror stories about him as well, as there always are against powerful men. 

He can't escape it now.

“It’s not hard to find human cauldrons, if you know how to look for them,” Jin Guangyao states in a voice devoid of any emotion, staring somewhere in the distance. “And some men will always look for an easy way to improve their cultivation, even if it means raping and killing a girl for it. There are addresses, and certain euphemisms. These days, you would ask to see a Wen girl. I’ve learned that a few years ago, people called them educated women.”

Nie Mingjue only frowns at that comment, but next to him Lan Xichen gasps in horror, squeezing Jin Guangayo’s hand.

“Your mother…”

Jin Guangyao blinks a few times, and forces himself to look at Lan Xichen. It appears to take him great effort. Nie Mingjue wonders if it is the topic that causes this, or if the blow to his head caused more damage than is visible.

“No, don’t worry. She was just actually educated. It didn’t mean the same thing in Yunping as it did in Lanling, but my father found her attractive enough for his other purposes, I suppose.” Jin Guangyao looks away again, his face growing harder. “Others were not as lucky. It is all too easy to get what you want, with enough money.”

“You should have told us,” Nie Mingjue says. “If you had come to us with proof…”

“My father is not so stupid that he would have left proof,” Jin Guangyao hisses between clenched teeth, still staring at the wall. “Even he would have had trouble justifying doing such a thing to augment his power. I only found out because I went to fetch him with Xue Yang at a brothel one day, and heard him discussing in detail his next… purchase. Xue Yang happened to be knowledgeable about certain euphemisms we were hearing, and thought it entertaining to explain to me. After this I started looking. It’s funny what you find, when you look for it. It wasn’t proof enough to openly attack him, not with my background. But it was enough to be sure. And then…”

Jin Guangyao chuckles darkly, his eyes finally meeting Nie Mingjue’s.

“I’ve got a sick sense of justice, but you knew that,” he says with unnerving calm. “Xue Yang was on board because he thinks that sort of thing is cheating. Torturing the dead and cutting them from their reincarnation doesn’t phase him, but he knows it could have been him, if he’d been born a girl. And so we did what had to be done. My father died the way he lived.”

He pauses a moment, taking in the expression on his lovers’ faces, from Lan Xichen’s horror at that confession to Nie Mingjue’s anger that once again, this took clever man made all the wrong choices.

“Nobody else would have dared to stand against him,” Jin Guangyao adds, smiling feverishly, his gaze on Nie Mingjue. “But I’ve always been one to do what others wouldn’t. Someone has to get their hands dirty, Da-ge. I’ve never minded doing it when my turn came. I wonder if you will, now that you know the truth? You’ve always been such a champion of justice, always telling others to be righteous. Let’s see what choice you make, now that justice isn’t such an easy thing to decide.”