#maddie this fic hurts so good every time

[mountain-in-springtime]

just read this again because apparently i like to sob and cry and be sad

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Summary: Danny shows up at your door like he always does, and you almost believe him when he says he'll stay this time.

Pairings: Sheriff!Danny x Reader, background Jake x Reader | Genres: angst, smut (minors begone!), hurt/comfort | Word Count: 5.3k | Warnings: unhealthy relationships, kind of romanticized cheating, non-graphic smut

A/N: The promised sheriff Danny fic! This is not my usual happy healthy fluff - there's a lot of angst and heartbreak and unhealthy relationships. The title is taken from the song “Bend It Until It Breaks” by John Anderson, and it's fitting for the messed up honky-tonk romance in this fic. I know it's different than what I usually do, but I really enjoyed writing it, and I hope you like it! ♡

He looked the same as you remembered him. From his fitted uniform and sturdy brown cowboy boots to the gun on his hip, from the aviators hiding his eyes to the shiny badge that caught the light of the hot Texas sun, he was the picture of strength, steadiness, dependability. Just as you had the very first time he’d come to your door, you felt like you could trust him.

“I didn’t know you were back in town,” you said. You watched the way his dark curls shone in the sun; you didn’t know how he’d gotten away with such long, pretty hair when sheriffs were supposed to keep their hair short, but you were glad he had. It would be such a shame to cut that wild mane just the color of a raven’s wing.

He tucked his sunglasses up into his curls, showing the crinkle that years of easy, generous laughter had etched around his brown eyes.

“Just got in yesterday,” he said. “I wanted to see you.”

He stood with his Stetson in hand, kneading the brim of it until you thought it might start to show wear. Danny never was nervous in any part of him besides his hands, and he’d never shown it to anyone except you.

“You sure are pretty,” he said. “Even prettier than you were the last time I saw you.”

You made yourself ignore the butterflies brought up by his warm voice. You sighed and leaned against the doorframe, trying to convince both of you that you didn’t want to run straight into his arms. 

“What do you want, Danny?”

“I told you. I wanted to see you.” He took a step closer, careful of the wildflowers that had grown over the walkway to your front door. “I got called in to help with a case right over the county line, and I figured — ”

“You figured you’d come by and get your rocks off, yeah, I know.” You didn't bother to hide the bitterness in your voice.

Something like guilt tugged at his handsome features.

“It’s not like that,” he said. “It’s never like that, darlin’. Not with you and me.”

You gave a mirthless laugh. “Right. You came back because you love me, and you mean it this time.”

“I do love you,” he said.

Your heart did a somersault in your chest. “You’re a liar, Danny Wagner.”

You turned on your heel and went back inside, but you didn’t close the door behind you even though you should have slammed it in his face. Part of you, a stronger part than you wanted to admit, wanted him to follow you inside and prove you wrong.

In the kitchen, you started to fold a stack of newly washed dish towels, brushing your hair back from your face. Sunlight slanted through the window and made the suncatcher cast a broken rainbow across the kitchen; you heard his familiar tread, the sound of his boots on your hardwood floor, and tried to get your heart to stop beating fair to burst.

“I’m not doing this with you again,” you said, not allowing yourself to look back at him. You knew what you’d see, and you knew you’d be weak enough to want it: your kitchen would look smaller, cosier with him in it taking up so much room with his broad shoulders. “It ends up bad, every time.”

Your hair fell in your face again, and he came close to tuck it back behind your ear.

“Not this time, sugar,” he said gently. “I promise.”

You looked up at him, searching his face for the honesty he wore so openly and yet always ended up being a ruse to both of you. That was the thing with Danny: he meant it when he said he wanted to change. He just wasn’t made for settling down, and both of you knew it.

“I can’t, Danny,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. You wished he’d kiss you and keep you from telling him no. “It hurts too bad to let you go.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but you put your fingers to his lips. He kissed them and looked at you from under his dark lashes.

“And we both know that you’re not the stayin’ kind,” you said, drawing your hand back. “You never have been.”

His expression shadowed.

“I saw that fella who left just as I pulled up,” he said, and there was a jealous edge to his voice that sent a thrill through you. “Looked like a real dandy. I bet you think he’s the stayin’ kind.”

You bit the inside of your cheek. 

“I know he is.” You thought of how good Jake was, how kind and honest and predictable he was, and wanted to defend him from Danny’s disdain. “He’s a good man. He wants to marry me.”

Danny smirked. “Does he know you’re not the marryin’ kind?”

You slapped him across the face. He took it like a man and merely raised a brow when he turned his face back to you, his cheek flushed with the mark of your hand.

“Still a pistol, aren’t you?” he said, the faint color of praise in his voice enough to make you dizzy.

“You’d like it if I never married, wouldn’t you?” you asked waspishly. “You won’t marry me, but you want me to wait for you, ignore all the other lovers you take while I keep myself only for you, pine away for you my entire life while you’re free to run around on me from one side of the state to the other. That would suit you just fine, wouldn’t it?”

You turned back to the dish towels, wringing them in your hands.

“I’m a fool to have wasted so much time with you, Daniel. I’m not going to be made a fool of again. Not this time.”

He didn’t say anything for a long moment. The strap of your dress fell off your shoulder, and he gently pushed it back up.

“I like this dress, darlin’.” You felt his gaze on you. “Does he know this is the dress you wore the last time you made love to me?”

You turned your face from him. “He knows it’s the one I wore the last time you made me cry.”

Danny sighed and let his hand drop to his side.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and you weren’t sure what he was apologizing for. You wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t know either, but it still made you want to turn to him and tell him you’d forgive him for whatever it was.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have come,” he said. “I know I hurt you the last time around, but I...” He shook his head. “I had to see you again. I missed you.”

You bit your tongue to keep from telling him that you’d missed him too, that you’d cried for days when he left the last time, just as you did every time he left you behind. You kept from telling him that you’d somehow rather have a lifetime of crying over him than a lifetime of pretending to love anyone else.

“I’ll be in town a few more days,” he said. He gave your cheek a quick, gentle kiss. “I reckon you’ll know where to find me if you change your mind.”

You didn’t turn to him. You heard him leave, taking your heart with him; the same moment the door closed behind him, you whirled around to tell him to stay.

“Danny — ”

He was gone. The silence was deafening, and you gave a shaky sigh like the beginning of a sob.

“Oh, Danny.” You buried your face in your hands and cried.

—

Later, you found yourself putting on a different dress, red with little white flowers all across it. You sat at the vanity in your bedroom and put on the lipstick that made your mouth look dark like blackberry wine.

“Going out?”

You met Jake’s eyes in the mirror, your gaze soft as you saw the way he looked at you. He always blushed when you got dolled up, pink and sweet and nervous.

“Just going to meet up with a friend,” you said. “Maybe have a drink or two.”

“You look beautiful,” he said. He didn’t ask you where you were going, or how late you'd be out, or who you were going to meet. He trusted you, and it was like a knife between your ribs.

You managed a smile. “Thank you.”

You gave him a kiss as you stood, and you knew he wanted you to stay. You wished he’d grab your waist and tell you he wasn’t going to let you out looking so pretty, at least not without him, but of course he didn’t. He let you pull back from the kiss and offered you a sweet smile when you parted.

“Have a good time,” he said. “I have to run back to my place for a while, but I’ll come back over if you give me a call when you get home.”

“Okay,” you said softly. Your throat felt tight. “I’ll miss you, Jake.”

His laugh was soft and a little surprised.

“I’ll come over as soon as you call me,” he promised. “No need to miss me.”

You tried for another smile. “You’re right.” You kissed him again. “See you in a little while.”

You drove without even deciding on where to go, but every turn took you closer to downtown like you were pulled by an invisible string. You stopped across the street from the Lonesome Rose, the old honky-tonk that had been there for decades spilling its neon halo over the sidewalk and welcoming folks in with the warbling strains of Waylon and Willie.

You shook your head. “You’re a damn fool,” you said to yourself as you put the car in park. Your cowboy boots scuffed the worn hardwood floor as you came inside, and you sat at the bar and waited for the bartender to come by.

“What can I get you?” he asked.

“She’ll have a Jack and Coke.”

You thrilled at his voice and turned to see him right behind you, moving to bracket you in with one hand resting on the bar next to you. The corner of his mouth tipped up in a smile.

“Isn’t that right, sugar?” Danny asked.

You sighed and looked back at the bartender. “Yes, please. Jack and Coke. And he’ll have a Mitcher’s rye double on the rocks.”

The bartender gave an amused hum as he looked over the two of you. “Comin’ right up.”

Danny took the seat next to you, propping one boot on the bottom of your barstool. He’d changed out of his uniform, trading it for snug Levi's and a soft rust-colored button-down, and his hair was half-up, half-down just as you’d always liked it best.

“I told you you’d know where to find me,” he said.

You couldn’t help a rueful smile. “This is where the whiskey and pretty girls are, Danny.” The bartender brought your drinks over, and you touched your hands to the icy glass. “I don’t have to be a sheriff to figure out that this is where you’d be.”

He took a drink. “Well, you're right about the whiskey. But the only pretty girl around here I care about is you.”

Your pulse fluttered at the compliment, but you tried to keep yourself in check. Just because you’d made the mistake of coming here didn’t mean you had to make all the rest that usually followed.

You took a long sip of your drink and let the alcohol soothe your nerves. The jukebox played a familiar song, and you hummed along to the words of heartbreak and a worn-out kind of love.

“What did your dandy have to say about you goin’ out lookin’ so sweet and rosy?” Danny asked.

You shook your head. “I don’t want to talk about him.” The guilt was too much to bear on top of everything else, and if Danny wasn’t careful, he’d send you right back into Jake’s arms tonight.

Danny shrugged. “Suits me.” He leaned close and splayed a big, warm hand over your back. “But if I were him, I wouldn’t have let you go out at all.” He trailed his fingers up to the top of your zipper. “I’d have taken this little dress off of you nice and slow, told you how lovely you are, kissed every inch of you.”

A breathless little sigh escaped you when he pressed a kiss to your shoulder. “Danny.”

He chuckled, the sound warm and comforting. “I’m right here, darlin’. Tell me what you want.”

I want you. You couldn’t allow yourself to say it, and you shook yourself as you took another long drink.

“I want you to behave yourself,” you lied.

He gave you a crooked smile. “If you say so, sugar.”

You sat together at the bar for a long while, and you tried to convince yourself it was innocent interest in a friend that kept you at the Lonesome Rose so late into the night when you had a good man waiting up for you to call. To his credit, Danny was a perfect gentleman as you let the drinks and the music draw you into a comfortable lull where you were the only two people on earth. You asked about his work and fussed when he told you of the more dangerous parts of his job, and he assured you that he could more than handle things.

“This case you’re working on now,” you said, “it’s not too dangerous, is it?”

He lifted his shoulder in a half-shrug. “I mean, it’s not a trip to Disneyland.”

You nudged your arm against his. “You know I’d kill you if you ever died, right?”

He smiled. “Yes ma’am, I do know that.” He kissed your cheek. “Lucky I don’t plan on dyin’ anytime soon. Not before I’ve had you one last time, at least.”

You laughed, the whiskey making you pliant and carefree. 

“You sure think an awful lot of yourself, don’t you?” you asked. “I guess you’re gonna live forever, Daniel.”

He twirled a lock of your hair around his finger. “I wouldn’t be so sure, darlin’.”

You looked up at him, your gaze traveling over the handsome features you’d memorized long ago and thought of during many lonely nights. “You think you’re sleeping with me tonight?”

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. He nodded towards the jukebox. “But I know for sure I’m dancing with you tonight.”

You gave a long-suffering sigh and couldn’t hide your smile as you held your hands out. “Take me to the dance floor, then.”

He grinned and took your hands, drawing you to the space reserved for lovers to wear their boots out to old country songs. He danced you around and kept you steady as you giggled and swayed on your feet, and for the space of a half-dozen love songs, you were perfectly happy. You hung on each other and showed off your tipsy dance moves and laughed until your sides hurt. It was just as you’d always imagined it, just as you always wanted; you found yourself thinking of that old daydream you’d tried to forget years ago, the one where Danny had put a ring on your finger and a baby inside you and had settled down to make you laugh and take you dancing every chance he could. You knew you shouldn’t, but you let yourself pretend it was real, if only for tonight.

“Hank Jr. sure gets you movin’, doesn’t he?” Danny teased, twirling you around like a princess.

You laughed. “You’re the only reason I haven’t gotten kicked off this dance floor,” you said, breathless and beaming up at him. “You're a wonderful dancer, Danny.”

He smiled. “Why thank you, darlin’.” He dipped you low and held you there for a moment, and you were utterly dependent on his strong, steady hands, looking up at him with the kind of desire you couldn’t hide.

“You’re beautiful,” he said when he pulled you back up. “Every time I think you can’t get any more beautiful, you prove me wrong.”

Your sigh was lovesick, resigned to the hopelessness of loving him. 

“Danny,” you said softly. You didn’t know what you were asking for — more words of love? A final blow, both barrels leveled at your heart, to send you away from him for good? You didn't know why you'd thought you could keep from loving him this time, not when you knew he'd hold your heart in his hands as long as you lived.

An old Dwight Yoakam song started to play, one Danny knew you had a weakness for, and he gave you a sweet smile. He pulled you close and swayed you gently to the music, singing along as he held you in his arms. 

“Try not to look so pretty the next time that we meet.” His voice was perfectly suited to the melody, and he stole a gentle kiss that made you blush. “Please don’t look so pretty, and I won’t act so weak.”

He tucked your hair behind your ear, and his touch traced over your jaw and thumbed the sparkling pendant of your earring.

“Why’d you come?” he asked, as if he hadn’t known you would. He could read you like a book; you’d never been able to hide from him, and you basked under the attention of a man who knew everything you had to offer and wanted you still.

“I couldn’t stay away,” you all but whispered. “You know I couldn’t.”

“Even with your dandy waiting at home?” he asked.

You swallowed. Danny knew what he meant to you, knew you would give up anyone for one moment in his arms, and you felt it was cruel of him to glory in it.

He shook his head as if thinking the same thing. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re here, and you look so pretty, and I can hardly breathe when I look at you.”

You put your hands to his chest, letting him support you with his hands on the small of your back. He studied your face with that look that made you feel beautiful, and you felt like you had the first time he’d held you like this. You’d been young then, naive, so in love with him you thought you might break with it. You had broken with it, as soon as he left, but he’d always put you back together when he found his way home to you.

You looked up at him with dreamy expectation, your lips parted and soft and wanting.

He smiled. “You want me to kiss you, don’t you?”

You shook your head.

“No?” he asked. He drew you closer and ducked his head until his lips barely brushed yours. “Funny. It sure looks like you do.”

You couldn’t help yourself, and you wound your arms around his neck as you kissed him. That self-satisfied smirk of his was short-lived, and he held you and kissed you like a man who knew how to handle a woman.

“Danny,” you breathed.

He cradled your face in his big hand and brushed his thumb over your cheek. “You sure needed a good kissing, sugar. Look at you all pink and sweet for me. You want some more?”

You felt a choking wave of emotion. “I want you.”

He gave you a faint smile. “I know, darlin’. You’ll have me, I promise.”

He kissed you again, and you melted against him. You forgot every reason to walk out the Lonesome Rose and drive home to a good man who was loyal to you; like a wedding vow, forsaking all else, you surrendered yourself completely to the man who would love you tonight and leave you lonely in the morning.

He danced with you for a while, all slow steps and loving looks, and you couldn’t bear to be parted from him. When he stepped outside for a smoke, you went with him, winding your arms around his waist and tucking your hands into his back pockets. You watched as he tipped his face up towards the dark sky and blew out a thin stream of silvery smoke; you admired the handsome curve of his jaw, the bold line of his nose, the dark shine of his curls in the neon lights.

“You’re beautiful, Danny.”

He looked down at you and smiled, and the laugh lines that showed by his dark eyes gave his expression such a tenderness that it took your breath away.

“Thank you, darlin’,” he said. He kissed you, and he tasted like smoke and whiskey, and you stood on tiptoes to get closer.

He chuckled. “Alright, sugar. I hear you.” He took one last drag from his cigarette and put it out, taking your hand as he led you back inside. He settled your tab and took you out to his beat-up Ford pickup truck, a relic from the old days that a mentor on the force had gifted Danny at his retirement. The worn leather was soft and cracked in places and the sheriff’s logo on the door was faded, but Danny wouldn’t have traded it for the world.

“Your place or mine?” he asked.

“Mine,” you said. He had a John Anderson tape in, and you turned it up a little before you moved close to him, leaning against his arm as he drove.

Neither of you spoke, and the comforting rumble of the engine and the quiet rush of warm night air through the windows wove themselves into a harmony with the music on the crackly stereo. You toyed with his free hand, running your fingers between his knuckles, feeling the wiry angles of hands used to hard work and tender touches.

“Maybe we should just drive,” he said, his voice quiet. “Keep goin’ until we find somewhere that suits us. Settle down, grow a garden, raise a few little ones.”

You closed your eyes and hid your face against his shoulder. You’d known it was coming, this dream of a future together, and you knew it was sincere. Something in him wanted to stay and be good to you, and knowing that part of him was more painful than if he hadn’t wanted it at all.

You looked up at him and brushed your fingers over his cheek.

“Tomorrow,” you promised. It was for both of you, a lie that wouldn’t hurt until it was proven; for now, both of you could go the whole night through believing it was the truth.

He glanced over at you, and his smile was heartsick and sorrowful. “Okay. Tomorrow.”

When you got to your house, you left the front door open behind you like you had that morning. You put a record on, and the strains of music followed you outside as you came out to the porch; you leaned on the railing and watched as Danny studied your flower garden.

“Look how big these are,” he mused, brushing his fingers over the soft petals of a blush-colored peony. “I don’t remember them being so big last time.”

“It’s been a while since you were here, Danny.” Your voice was soft, but there was an edge to it he didn’t miss, and he looked up at you with a gentle gaze.

“I know,” he said. “I was tryin’ to let you go, darlin’.”

The thought of him leaving and never coming back was like a physical pain in your chest.

“You can’t leave me like that,” you said. You came close to him as he stepped up onto the porch with you, and you put your hands to his chest.

“Promise you’ll always come back,” you said, pleading with him. “I don’t care if it’s for one night or for the rest of your life. You promise you’ll come back to me, Daniel.”

He gathered you in his arms and kissed you, soothing the fear of losing him with the tenderness and passion that sang in every movement of his body against yours.

“Hush, now,” he said gently. “I came back, didn’t I?” His smile was rueful. “The one time I ever tried to do right by you, and I ended up back at your door like I always do.”

You put your hands to his face. “I’m glad you did.”

You took his hand and led him to your bedroom, and he was gentle and slow as he helped you undress. Your room was dim and quiet, the window you’d left open sending a cool breeze to ruffle the curtains; a serenade of crickets and gentle birdsong drifted in and mixed with the sound of the record that played.

Danny held you and brushed his thumb over your bottom lip.

“You look at me like you love me,” he said softly. “You always have.”

“I’ve always loved you,” you said simply.

He gave a long, low sigh and buried his face against your neck. “I know, darlin’. I wish you didn’t, but I’m sure glad you do.”

He laid you back on the bed and hovered over you, drawing the smoldering ember into a flame with his warm, work-toughened hands. You’d been held by others before, wandering hands under faded calico sheets, but no one ever touched you like Danny did. 

He tucked you into the lee of his body, and there was nothing on earth but the warmth of his skin, the scent of his cologne, the touch of his hand as he pulled you close. You fit together like puzzle pieces, your softness and his strength, the give of your curves and his solid warmth.

“Please,” you said, tilting your head back as he kissed your jaw.

“Be patient,” he chided gently. “I’ll give you what you want, sugar.”

He trailed his kisses down your throat, over your collar, down the swell of your breast. He worshiped you with his touch, murmuring words of love against your skin.

You tangled your hands in his thick curls when he ventured lower. “Danny.”

He smiled, and you felt it against your skin. “I hear you, pretty girl.”

He took his time, running his hands over your thighs as he worked his tongue over every inch between your legs. He gave a pleased hum every time you gasped or moved beneath him; you tugged on his curls, overwhelmed with how much you needed him, saying his name over and over like a prayer.

You unraveled with a pitiful gasp, and when he came back up to kiss you, it was heat and skin and breathless want. His hands moved over you, drawing you where he wanted you, pressing you against him.

“Danny,” you said weakly. You ached with desire as you felt him between your legs, but your body remembered how much he asked of you.

“Take me,” he said, low and breathless. “You’re takin’ all of me, darlin’. I know you can.”

You gave a choked gasp and dug your fingers into his shoulder when he buried himself inside you. You did take him, just as he said, and in the heartbeat he gave you to catch your breath, you knew no one would ever satisfy you like he did.

“Good girl,” he praised. He started to move, slow and deep, and you lost yourself in the feel of him. His hands wandered, reverent and skillful, patiently soothing the ache of him until you bloomed under him like a flower towards the sun.

You shied away from him as he started to bring you to the edge. Suspended in desire, you could keep him here forever; when it was over, you could no more keep hold of him than you could keep water from trickling through your fingers.

He noticed, and he shushed you and kept you close.

“Easy,” he soothed. “Stay with me.”

“I can’t,” you said brokenly. “I don’t — Danny, please, I don’t want it to be over.”

He kissed you. “I’m here,” he promised. “I’m right here with you, darlin’.”

He took your hand and drew it up to rest over his heart; it hammered under your hand, jackrabbiting in his chest. 

“Feel what you’re doin’ to me,” he said softly. “I love you. Can you feel it?”

And oh, if there had been anything you were keeping from him, you gave it over completely. You were his, body, heart, and soul, and he took good care of such a gift for as long as he was able.

After, you didn’t realize until he brushed his fingers over your cheek that you were crying.

“Oh, sugar.” He kissed you. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

You shook your head. His fingers had left bruises against your hips and he’d made you tender and sore, but he could never hurt you. Not that way.

You buried your face in the crook of his neck and cried. He ran his hands through your hair, trailing a soft touch over your skin.

“Don’t cry, darlin’,” he said, his voice hoarse. “It breaks my heart to hear you cry like that.”

You tried to steady yourself as you kissed his face, showering him with kisses and words of affection, pressing as close to him as you could get.

“I love you, Danny,” you said brokenly.

He put his strong arms around you and held you close. “I love you too.”

—

Moonlight streamed through the curtains, casting a dim silvery glow over your room, over the pile of clothes on the floor, over bare skin half-covered by a tangle of sheets. You put on Danny’s soft shirt and found a lighter and a pack of cigarettes in the pocket of his jeans; sitting on the edge of your bed, you smoked and listened to the quiet.

“Thought you didn’t smoke.”

You took another drag. “I don’t.”

He gave a soft chuckle, and the bed creaked a little as he moved closer to you. He skated his hand under the hem of his shirt and gently ran his knuckles over your hip.

“I like you wearin’ my shirt, darlin’.”

It fell open as you turned towards him, and he propped himself up to shower your bare skin with gentle kisses. 

“Can’t sleep?” he asked.

You hummed and brushed a hand through his curls. “Jake called.”

Danny looked up at you from under his lashes. “What did you tell him?”

You turned your face back towards the window and exhaled smoke through your nose. “What was I supposed to say?”

“I don’t know.” He sat up next to you and tugged his shirt off your shoulder, pressing a kiss there. “Tell him you don’t want to see him again.”

You breathed a rueful laugh. “Right.” You put your cigarette out in the old, half-empty bottle of water on your nightstand. “I do want to see him again, Danny. I want to marry him.”

The bridge of his nose bumped against your jaw. “Didn’t your mama ever teach you not to lie?”

You sighed and tilted your head back as he kissed your neck. “Why shouldn’t I marry him? He’s a good man.”

“You’d never be happy with him.”

You ran a hand over your face, feeling the ache of tears again. “I could try.”

He knew you were hurting, and he wound his arm around you and drew you close to him.

“Be happy with me,” he said.

Your throat felt tight. “I am,” you said softly.

“Tell me why you're crying, then.”

You brushed your tears away, frustrated with yourself, frustrated with him.

“I’d only be happy if you stayed,” you said.

“Okay.” He kissed the corner of your mouth. “I’ll stay, then.”

You couldn’t help a wobbly smile. You wanted him to, and when he kissed you and held you close, it was the easiest thing in the world to pretend he would.

—

He left before the sun rose, and you lay quietly in your bed for a long time when you woke and found him gone. Early morning sunshine bled over the room and seeped across the note on your nightstand.

Next time, sugar. I promise.

You ran your fingers over his messy handwriting.

“Next time,” you said softly. You almost believed it, too.

danny taglist:@tearsofbri@busybeingtrash@myway-late@gotavansleep@gretavanbri@stardustchxrds@pxppylove @mariegvf @bajabule69 @radmads-gvf @sunnykiszka @audgeppp

gvf taglist:@malany-gvf@spark-my-nature@eearevee@madneedshelp@demonrat444@josh-iamyour-mama @honeyandsweettae @mydarlingdanny@gretavandann@sacredjake@myleftsock@joshskittytickler21@hellowgoodbye@watchingovergvf2@fearfulspirit@mywaysoon@carbondancingthroughtime@caprisunsister @eraofstardustchords @sacredthefran@shesawomaninadream @serendipiti @demonrat444@wildflowerxx-x

@gvfrry@ohhey1293@the-chaotic-cow@mountain-in-springtime@xserenax-13@stardustjtk @brooke-gvf@weightofdreams-gvf@jakeydoesit@gretasmokerising@hayley1623@doodle417@finestoflines@brokenbellz@bowievanfleet@s0livagant@strugglingtodoshit@s-u-t@kay-jordan@gretavanfleas@jakeyboiiiiiii@gretavansteph@gretavanbitches@myownparadise96@luverleaver@weightofdreamz@greatervanfleet@maedesculpaeusoubi@jakekiszkasbestie@pineapple-photographer@baguettejuliette@alexxavicry@levi-wants-ur-bones@carlybubs@cowboysamkiszka@dannyandthekiszkas@jordierama@slutforsteve@starshine-wagner@quartzzzzzzz@edgeofdreams@writingcold @lostoverseer @catharu77 @mackalah @jaketlove @haileygvf @blacksoul-27 @ur-m0ms-blog

sorry if tumblr didn’t tag you — it’s stupid sometimes. but i’m real thankful for you, sweet peaches! and if you’re a new bestie and would like to be added to my taglist, check out the form right here!

[buddierecs]

outsider pov buddie fics

these fics have a mixture of outsider pov, most from the 118 family tho all of these are general audience, teen and up or not rated (no smut) make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)

paralytic narcolepsy guy hates buckley & diaz by: eightpackdiaz "paralytic narcolepsy guy is forced to listen to buckley and diaz talk to and about each other in his unconscious presence over the years. he insists he fucking hates them. but then he also accidentally helps them get engaged." word count: 5.4k important tags: 5+1 things, idiots in love, getting together good luck, babe by: hattalove "sometimes, when you've had a bad week, all you want is a romantic evening out with your wife over terrible pizza, and what you get instead is some kind of intricate gay ritual happening two tables away from you." word count: 2.1k important tags: crack, social media, jealous!eddie diaz jeep talking by: daisies_and_briars "a ride in the backseat of buck's Jeep with buck and eddie in the front gives chim new perspective on his brother-in-law's strange dynamic with his so-called "best friend.' and chim is sick of them being so oblivious." word count: 2.2k important tags: chimney han pov, oblivious!chimney han the sincerest form of flattery by: canadadry "in which brad torrence only almost passes out, and observes the aftermath." word count: 1.7k important tags: brad torrence pov, bobby nash is evan buckley's parent, 8.03 fic

actually, truly by: milenadaniels "helena (and ramon) tries to find a way back into eddie's life and doesn't know what to make of finding buck around every corner she turns." word count: 14k important tags: helena diaz pov, post season 4, homophobia, pre-relationship, hurt!eddie diaz, therapy i'll call you mine by: coupe_de_foudre "5 times ravi witnesses eddie and buck fake a relationship, and the one time he realises they were married all along" word count: 9.1k important tags: 5+1 things, ravi panikkar pov, fake dating, fluff, misunderstandings, idiots in love does your firehouse know? by: allyasavedtheday "after chimney accidentally discovers buck and eddie are together they ask him to keep it a secret for a few weeks while they settle into their relationship. It goes about as well as expected." word count: 7.5k important tags: chimney han pov, secret relationship, crack a simple kind of love by: woodchoc_magnum "in which christopher watches as eddie and buck slowly fall in love." word count: 15k important tags: christopher diaz pov, pre-relationship, getting together, buckley-diaz family maybe it's the way you lean on his shoulder by: allyasavedtheday "in which naddie realises there might be more to buck and eddie's relationship than she'd originally thought." word count: 4.1k important tags: maddie han pov, feelings realisation, domestic fluff another man's child by: georges1982_96 "a 5+1 fic of chim realizing buck is chris's dad and buck gradually stumbling on the same realization" word count: 18k important tags: chimney han pov, 5+1 things, ptsd, medial trauma, homophobia, ableism, soft!buddie, protective!evan buckley don't need to be related to relate (don't need to share genes or a surname) by: champagne_for_breakfast "the one where bobby realizes he is somehow buck's father, eddie's father-in-law and christopher's grandfather all at the same time. and he may just be one conversation away from calling eddie out and making him kiss buck." word count: 10k important tags: bobby nash pov, idiots in love, getting together, bobby nash is evan buckley's parent shapes and spaces by: prettyunhinged "five times christopher calls buck his dad to other people, and the one time he finally gets to say it to buck." word count: 14k important tags: 5+1 things, christopher diaz has two dads, oblivious!buddie, getting together, team as family, fluff

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | October 1st-13th 2024

Hope all my fellow Canadians had a good long weekend! Had a week from hell last week so I didn't have time to put up the rec, and it's even a bit late for today, but I did it!

If you know anyone who's not tagged, please don't hesitate to tag them in the comments!

Complete

Siri, Call... by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Sickfic | 1,5K | General): Buck is sick and needs to call for help.

for thy true-love take by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (Outsider POV, Established buddie | 2K | Teen): OR: Chimney Han and the ethics of slipping your coworkers love potions

watch out, you might get what you're after by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Getting Together | 2K | Mature): Buck unintentionally woos Eddie. And then has a hell of a time processing the way he feels about that.

i hate accidents (except when we went from friends to this) by bellabrady (Getting Together | 2K | Not Rated): Or: How Buck and Eddie's first kiss leads to someone calling the police on them.

Put To Good Use by kittyeddie (PWP, BDSM | 3K | Explicit): Or, Buck and Eddie finally have a kid-free day at home, and take advantage of every second of it

At First Scent by Inell/ @inell (Urban Fantasy AU | 4K | Teen): When Buck visits Maddie, he meets Chris, a magic user needing his sister’s help learning how to use his powers. He also meets Eddie, Christopher’s dad, and feels a connection that he’s only ever dreamed of finding.

Bears, and Foxes, and a Three-Legged Bobcat by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Pre-Buddie, First Date | 4K | General): Buck and Eddie go on a non-date date to a wildlife park. Cuteness ensues.

Just Right by Inell/ @inell (Future fic, Getting Together | 4K | Teen): After getting injured on a call, Buck wakes up the next morning and tries to piece together what happened, accidentally changing his relationship with Eddie in the process.

to adam, from your ribs by justhockey (S8, Getting Together | 4K | General): And the thing is, Buck is so good at being alone; he’s been doing it almost his whole life. But when he’s reminded of the way love tastes, drizzled like honey on your tongue - the way it feels, like the warm glow of sunlight on your skin. That is when he truly aches. Not the breaking, because he’s done that a thousand times over. It’s the knowing that really does him in. The having, for just a little while, before it’s snatched away so quickly he can still feel the burn on his fingertips from trying to hold on.

Hall Pass by Inell/ @inell (Post-S7, Getting Together | 5K | Teen): After Buck and Eddie take Jee and Mara trick or treating, Chim and Maddie play a trick of their own to help Buck finally make a move on Eddie.

it's leading me on, every time we touch by lightyears (Post-S6, Getting Together | 5K | Explicit): Eddie doesn’t think anything of it when he reaches across the table to pile some pasta onto his plate, says, “Just my back. It’s been giving me a bit of trouble.” “You’re hurt, Eddie?” Bobby asks him, and Eddie’s sure that his intention isn’t to capture the rest of the team’s attention, but by way of being Captain, it happens anyway. “I promise, Cap. I’m good. But if it helps, I can go speak with a doctor, make sure nothing else is going on.” Chim chirps up: “A physio probably makes more sense than a doctor.” “Or an occupational therapist,” Ravi suggests, and Eddie’s sure it’s to stave off a Chim-Hen showdown. “Even a massage therapist would probably help.” And then Maddie says, “Buck used to be a massage therapist” and everyone goes quiet, heads all swinging in Buck’s direction.

sweet sunbursts of flesh pink magic by Underhung_Aura/ @eddiebabygirldiaz (Canon Divergent, Witch Buck, Sex Pollen | 5K | Explicit): Buck’s magic has always been a bit volatile. Jittery. Fluctuating. A touch reckless. Messy and bright and loud. Maddie says that a person’s magic is supposed to match the person themselves, that the form it takes isn’t happenstance or random, that it’s a reflection of your purest self, an extension of your soul that you can manipulate. Safe to say, Buck’s never cared for that assessment. or, buck has magic and eddie gets doused with sex pollen

Happy Accident by Inell/ @inell (Post-S8E01: Buzzkill, Friends to Fiances | 6K | Teen): When Buck gets some good news, he accidentally kisses Eddie, which leads to a conversation that changes their relationship.

Kissing On The Corner, Wait For Just A Minute by fruitsdoesnotknow/ @tayf-ghost (Secret Relationship | 6K | Teen): Buck and Eddie think they're so smooth. They're cool, calm, collected. Normal, in fact. Just two normal best friends. Nothing to see here. Nobody is convinced.

Does it bite at your edges? by noxeratum (Infidelity, Post-S7, Getting Together | 6K | Explicit): Eddie Diaz is so repressed that he thinks his jealousy is bigotry and feels bad about it.

Talk Dirty to Me by ameliahart (Post-S7, FWB | 6K | Explicit): In which Buck has recently ended things with Tommy, Eddie wants to explore his sexuality, and they decide to start sleeping together. As friends, of course.

Through the Looking Glass by jukoist/ @beforejuko (Post-S8E01: Buzzkill, Getting Together | 6K | General): Buck likes Tommy. He does! And he definitely isn't in love with Eddie. He's just... worried. Because Eddie keeps vanishing on Sundays, leaving Buck with the boyfriend he definitely likes as much as he should. Everything is fine. Or, a post 8x01 coda.

Basics, Understanding Basics by fruitsdoesnotknow/ @tayf-ghost (Post-S7, Getting Together | 7K | Teen): Chris gets sick, loses part of his memory, and reassures Eddie and Buck they can still kiss in front of him. That's really thoughtful of him, except for the fact that Eddie and Buck aren't dating.

🔥All The Things You Want From Me by giselleslash/ @gigi-gigi (Post-S7, Getting Together | 7K | Teen): “Can I ask you something?” Eddie shrugs. “Sure.” Tommy looks nervous, unsure. Tommy never looks nervous, or unsure. “Do you think Evan would move in with me if I asked him?” (Or the one where Eddie feels Buck slipping through his fingers and can’t let him go, so he tells him not to move in with Tommy and blows everything apart.)

My Carpet’s Got Crop Circles by fruitsdoesnotknow/ @tayf-ghost (Eddie & Karen, Getting Together | 9K | Teen): Or, five times Karen tries to use wine nights to get Eddie and Buck together, and the one time she didn't need to.

🔥Late Fines by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, Librarian!Buck | 12K | Teen): Buck is a children's librarian at the branch closest to Eddie's house. When he gets himself involved in the lives of a cute kid and his handsome single dad, he gets a glimpse of what he wants in life. It might just take a few years to get it.

Eddie Diaz VS The Buck's Boyfriend Agenda by songbvrd/ @songbvrd (Post-S7, BuckTommy Break-Up | 23K | Mature): Eddie starts gathering information about why no one trusts Tommy. As he grows to hate their relationship more, he learns more about himself and what he wants.

🔥 ice cream before dinner by cloudydaisies (Post-S7, Getting Together | 58K | Teen): or, gerrard messes with the team's schedules and eddie 'i just drove my son to flee the state' diaz is the only option to watch mara and jee-yun after school on tuesdays, which, shouldn't be a problem at all, right?

🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 102K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.

WIP

Gentle On My Mind by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, Shannon Lives, Buck/Eddie/Shannon | 5/? | 32K | Explicit): In which Shannon lives, tells a lie, and sends hers, Eddie's, and Buck's lives down a very different path.

🔥 go and kill, go and die by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Zombie Apocalypse AU | 9/14 | 40K | Mature): The 118 are a group of survivors in a small California town in the wake of a zombie apocalypse. For months they've been isolated and safe. But the arrival of some new players, the search for some missing loved ones, will shake everything up and put their little team in jeopardy.

Podfic

[Podfic] déjà vu by NC Pods (N0Connections)/ @n0connections // fic by peaktotheocean/ @peaktotheocean (S7E07: Ghost of a Second Chance | 10-20min | General): It is completely possible that Buck put too much thought into buying his couch. But Eddie can’t think of anyone else in his life who would buy a couch just so his kid would be comfortable.

🔥 [Podfic] With a Little Help From my Friends by MeggieJolly/ @meggiejolly // fic  by extasiswings/ @extasiswings (Post-S3, Feelings Realization | 10-20min | Teen): “You know…several of us parents get together once, maybe twice a month or so. You’re welcome to join us if you’d like. I can add you to the email chain.” Not for the first time that day, Eddie’s surprised. It’s not that he’s opposed, more that the invitation is unexpected. He’s not particularly social—when he is it’s with the team or with Buck or with his family, all of them in each other’s houses, in each other’s lives both at work and away from it. Outside of them… It occurs to him that he’s never really known how to make friends. [Or: Eddie makes friends outside of work and realizes that Buck might not, in fact, be just a friend]

🔥 as lucky as us [Podfic] by blackglass/ @blackestglass // fic by hammersmiths/ @henswilsons (Ravi POV, S7 | 20-30min | General): One of the first things Ravi learned when joining the 118 was to, under no circumstances, think too hard about Buck and Eddie’s relationship. But brother, they could try make his job easier. “I mean, I get it,” Buck’s saying, overhead, and Ravi’s knee-deep in literal human crap and even he can smell that shit from a mile away. “You and Tommy have a lot in common.” or, Ravi continually suffers as a third-wheel.

🔥 [podfic] baby, can i hold you? by All_I_Ask/ @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove // fic by fleetinghearts / @shitouttabuck (pre-Buddie, angst/comfort | 30-45min | Teen): Eddie’s eyes are squeezed shut, and Buck feels something inside him crack when this helpless, devastated sob wracks his body, eyelashes clumped with tears he’s not letting fall. “What do you need?” Buck asks again. “What can I do?” Eddie makes a frustrated noise. “I don’t know. I don’t know why this won’t stop.” or, eddie panics. buck holds him.

🔥 Heart, I Implore You [Podfic] by ReformedTsunderePodfics (ReformedTsundere)/ @film-in-my-soul // fic by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Vampire Eddie, PWP | 45-60min | Explicit): When Buck finds out his best friend isn't exactly human, he volunteers to help keep Eddie from dying. It's definitely just to keep Eddie from dying. No other reason. None whatsoever.

Re-Read

Down to the Bones of Me by giselleslash/ @gigi-gigi (Post-S7E10: All Fall Down | 5K | Teen): The morning after Christopher leaves Eddie gets in his truck and drives. Buck lets him go, and Eddie fights to come back for both of them.

[blueeyedheizer]

Hello! Can I suggest a Cassie Howard x little brother reader (who’s the same age as Lexi), it can be an angst to fluff (or storage up angst fic I’m not picky) where Cassie and the reader are arguing over Cassie sleeping with Nate because she knew the reader had a crush on Maddy and she basically ruined that for him. (I can’t write good and I know you like feed back on your post so I’m going to say it now that if you do it then it’ll be great).

I don't usually write for male readers so hopefully this isn't too bad!

"you really had to go and ruin everything, huh?" you deadpan, crossing your arms tightly over your chest as you lean against the doorframe. “are you happy now? did you get the attention you wanted?”

cassie spins around, her eyes widening in shock. “wh...what are you talking about?” she stammers, though the guilt in her expression says she already knows.

“don't play that game with me.” you snap, your voice trembling with fury. "out of all the boys you could have, you chose to fuck nate?!"

cassie's mouth opens in shock — then she closes it again. "how did you—"

"that doesn't matter, cassie. fuck, this is wrong on so many levels. what were you thinking?!”

“I’m sorry!” she blurts out, tears already forming in her eyes. “I didn’t mean for it to happen, okay? It just… it just happened. I never wanted to hurt you or maddy.”

“didn't want to hurt us?” you echo, letting out a bitter, humorless laugh. "you knew how much I like maddy! you knew, and you didn’t care. you just had to have nate, even if it meant screwing over your own brother and your best friend!”

cassie shakes her head, her voice trembling as she tries to explain. “It wasn’t like that,” she protests weakly. “I wasn’t thinking straight. I was just… lost, and nate was there. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

“but it did happen,” you shoot back, your voice rising. “and now maddy won’t even look at me. she thinks I’m part of it, cassie! she thinks i've been protecting you this whole time! do you have any idea how that feels?”

cassie’s face crumples as the reality of what she’s done hits her. “I didn’t know…” she whispers, her voice breaking. “I didn’t think she’d turn away from you because of me.”

“that’s the problem!” you shout, your frustration boiling over. “you didn’t think! you didn’t think about me, or maddy, or anyone but yourself. you never do! now she wants nothing to do with me, and it’s all because of you!”

cassie winces at your words, her tears flowing freely now. "I'm sorry," she chokes out, her voice trembling with guilt and regret. "I'm so sorry."

"sorry isn’t going to fix this," you snap, your anger still blazing. "maddy was one of the few good things I had, and now she thinks I’m just like you—some asshole who can’t be trusted. I can't even be here for her because every time I try, she pushes me away," you continue, your voice thick with frustration and pain. "she looks at me like I'm the one who betrayed her, like I'm just as bad as you or nate. and it fucking kills me, cassie. fuck. how could you do this to me? to her?"

"I'm so—"

"quit saying you're sorry." you snap. "you know you're not. you know you'll go back to nate and pretend this conversation never happened. you’re just apologizing to make yourself feel better, but we both know maddy and I will be the least of your problems as soon as you're left alone with him again."

a heavy silence settles, and, without another word, you turn and exit her room - heading toward yours. you slam the door shut behind you with a loud bang and lock it for good measure, leaving your sister alone with her guilt.

[bidisasterevankinard]

Tease tidbit Tuesday

Tagged by @diazsdimples

Had this idea last week. I hope to write it soon as it's little idea, but it's me and it's uni time so. Anyway fic that for now is called Tommy doesn't want kids(or does he?):

“You know pout and look at your coffee cup won't help make your coffee taste better,” Josh smirks at him when he enters the restroom but then changes his expression to a more serious one. “Relationship problems?”

Buck just shrugs. It's not a problem, they are not fighting, but his heart and brain work too much.

“Wanna share? I'm a great listener. Helping people with their problems is my job.”

“Tommy and I had a talk about the future. He mentioned his deal breaker and…,” Buck sighs tugging his curls. “If it be anyone else I know I would say his deal breaker is opposite to mine and we're not going to last, but…”

“But you didn't,” Josh ends for him and Buck just nods.

“Why?”

"Because… because I want to be with him and now I'm not sure what I want more: Tommy or having kids. I don't want to lose Tommy. But I'm so sad because I want kids, especially after I was a donor and I-I don't know how to choose. I love Tommy so much, but I'm not sure if I love him more than giving up this dream."

"You need to think about it a lot, Buck. Make sure you won't change your mind in 2 years”

“I know. That's why I came to see Maddie.”

“Can I say one thing?”

“Yeah.”

“Imagine yourself in ten years. In two situations. One you have kids but no Tommy,” Buck's heart cries in pain and he can't even really picture this. Only two little kids with blue eyes but they have Tommy's electric blue, not his baby blue iris. “Now imagine yourself in ten years married to Tommy,” and Buck does.

He pictures dinners with wine, laughs and dances to their playlist of songs that they love. He pictures the backyard full of flowers, berries and trees that they put there. He pictures the dog they would get. Maybe even two. He pictures smiles when they wake up together with Tommy kissing him till he can't breathe but ready to give up air. He pictures himself happy, even though he doesn't have everything he dreamt about, he has Tommy and…

Oh. I guess it is. My secret to happiness.

It's Tommy.

“I think your face told me anything I need to know about your choice.”

“Yeah, I'm sure it did,” Buck smiles. “I'm still a little sad. I had a whole list of names that go good with Kinard and Buckley-Kinard.”

Josh chuckles. “Oh, I'm sure you did. And I think it would hurt. Some days more than others, but if Tommy is more important for you, you can do it.”

“Yeah. Not every dream comes true. But I don't want to let Tommy go away.”

Josh smiles at him, “Can I give you another piece of advice?”

“Please, you're really good,” Buck smiles at his friend.

“Tell Tommy about how it was a deal breaker for you. He needs to know. Don't hide it from him.”

Buck nods.

Tagging @wikiangela @hippolotamus @theotherbuckley @bewilderedbuckley @queerbuck @queerdiaz @repressedqueen @racerchix21 @pirrusstuff @powersuitup @monsterrae1 @saybiwithme @evanbi-ckley @epiphainie @typicalopposite @tommybuckleykinard @devirnis @lavenderleahy @leashybebes @bigfootsmom @cliophilyra @cal-daisies-and-briars @watchyourbuck @peppermintquartz @ohithankyou @honestlyeddie-im-bi @honestlydarkprincess @half-oz-eddie @hyperfocusthusly @visioninacone @bi-buckrights

and anyone who wants to

[manchasama]

Thinking Danny Phantom thoughts again. We love to see Bad!Parents Jack and Maddie, because it's a dark twist and opens up new opportunities to give Danny a different support group, and because quite frankly some of what they say in canon IS disturbing.

We also love to see Good!Parents Jack and Maddie, because it was also shown over and over in canon that they do love their kids, and will accept Danny despite the ghostiness. Now admittedly it was always done in a very shallow way, so I can see why it doesn't jive with some people, but the foundation is there to dig into!

Personally I do love me the bad parents, but I have been getting a little tired of how samey they act in fic. I'm normally not reading it for them anyway, but it's an idle "huh maybe I'm in the mood for good parent fic". The only issue is that with good parent fic, it's much harder to strip Danny of his support and toss him into another place (yes I am still reading the many DPxDC batman xover fusions. They still delight me).

So I pondered away in my little head what might one do for both? And I'm honestly surprised I haven't seen this before. So let's say that Jack and Maddie, upon discovering their son is half ghost, are as supportive and loving as he could have wished.

But let's also suppose that the GIW are becoming more dangerous and competent. What would good parents do when they know their kid is in danger? Why, loudly protest the mistreatment and misdirection the government is doing. And what does an American government do when faced with protestors?

Arrest them.

What if the reason Danny is forced to flee with no support is because his parents are now being held by the government, with no REAL hope of a fair trial since the GIW are flaunting every rule they can. If Danny stays, he will be forced into some government approved care, or worse just be disappeared himself because who is going to fight against the GIW (especially if we are going the Amity Blackout route)?

IDK, not wording it as well as I could, but I find the idea interesting. Some scenarios too could be done in the heat of the moment. I remember there was one fic where Jack and Maddie find out about Danny as he is escaping a GIW facility. Initially they were there to recapture/support the GIW, but upon their realization, without time to come to terms with it, they still go all in and fight against the GIW. But to my memory there were no repercussions for that.

The key thing I think is that for as nasty as the GIW are, they won't hurt humans like they would ghosts. If Danny knew his parents were being experimented on, he would stop at nothing to save them. But if they are just being held, it's less immediate danger, and he wouldn't necessarily go in all guns blazing when he might be captured himself.

[mvltisstuff]

Heyy, i love your fics so michh, can u make Buck x reader, they have a newborn girl and reader is stressed because the baby won't stop crying and buck helps her. Take your time!💋

close to you - e.b

summary: request

evan buckley x reader

gif

a/n: this is such a great idea, and i’m so happy you asked me to execute it <3 madeline is also inspired by the name maddie, as i feel like that’s so cute for buck :((

madeline was a gift from the moment y/n took time off work because of her pregnancy. she was a gift the moment they decided on a name. she was a gift the moment she entered the world in the small hospital room.

however, y/n despised herself for thinking part of it was a curse. she loved her daughter more than anything in the world despite the short amount of weeks that she had arrived. buck had gone back to work, but y/n needed more time to recover from the birth. she got the pleasure of staying home with her baby, and she genuinely thought so.

it wasn’t until the constant screams came through madeline’s mouth that y/n started to get more and more tensed. her head was pounding, her body was sore and she just wanted to give her baby peace.

she felt like the worst mother in the world, not being able to comfort or secure her baby girl. she figured it would come naturally. in reality, it’s never been harder.

she cried when she was hungry, needed a diaper change, sleepy, or she just cried. it seemed like it was always that she just cried and screamed. it burned in y/n’s ear painfully as she listened to the squeals of her daughter. she just wanted her to be happy, and buck wasn’t there to help.

“mad, please.” y/n begged when her eyes started to water again, and the quiet squeaks left her baby’s soft cheeks. “i’m so sorry, i want to help you.”

y/n sighed as she rocked the baby in her arms, the bags under her eyes only getting darker as she stayed up with madeline. buck was exhausted when he came home, so he just went to sleep. y/n was fine with that as he did everything he could for his girls, all the time.

she’d be lying if she said she didn’t miss buck every hour.

he had some type of paternal magic to him that eased madeline. it brought her down to earth, and it gave y/n time to relax. her hormones were all over to place. every time her baby cried, it flooded her body was sadness and exhaustion. she was deeply jealous of buck secretly because of the ease he seemed to have with handling their child.

“hey, dad,” hen smiled, seeing buck walk back into the station after a few weeks with his wife and baby alone. “how’s y/n and the baby?”

“they’re good, i feel so bad leaving them though.”

“it’s hard to leave, that’s the last thing i wanted to do when we first got denny.”

“it’s just- i talk to you about anything, right?”

“of course, buck! what makes you say that, though.”

“madeline cries a lot, and i can just tell in y/n’s face that somethings wrong. i mean, i get that babies cry, but it just seems like it’s taking a huge toll on y/n. i don’t want her thinking she’s a bad mom, and if what happened to maddie happens to her,” buck thinks back to his sister, who went to hell and back trying to be a better mom for jee-yun. it breaks his heart to even consider y/n feeling left in the dark the same way. “i can’t handle that.”

“listen, buck,” hen lands a hand on his shoulder. “it’s going to be ok. you could even go for a little longer off work, you came back really soon.”

“y/n said it’d be good for us, and make me happier.”

“but is it making things easier? you both need to be doing this together. y/n’s saying a lot of stuff she doesn’t mean, and her mind is running at a 100 miles an hour.”

“i know,” buck says. “i’m gonna see her after the shift, i’ll talk to bobby. see what i can do.”

y/n continued to pace around the kitchen for hours, her lower back beginning to ache and her ears hurting from the wails of the baby in her arms. she tried everything from feeding her to rocking her in her swing, but nothing seemed to stop the cries of her daughter.

“madeline, please, i’m begging you,” y/n whines, practically on her knees for her child to stop crying.

the cries quickly started to blend in, y/n realizing that they’ll never go away. she wasn’t sick or anything, y/n repeatedly checked, but madeline still was just simply unhappy. and, y/n swore she was the problem.

buck arrived home late in the night, hours past dinner and inching closer to the bedtime of their casual family. when he opened the door, he just knew that y/n was in there with their baby, struggling to hang on and fix the problem.

“y/n?” he calls out, wandering around their home and finally landing in the nursery. the light purple walls and decorations were darkened, y/n and madeline sitting in the chair together. y/n’s shirt had been pulled down so she was able to feed madeline, but it seemed like no use. the baby in her arms was still weeping and throwing her tiny hands around. “oh, y/n.”

her blank expression told it all, along with the dark bags under her eyes. “she’s so upset, buck, i don’t know what to do.” y/n murmurs slightly over the cries of the baby.

“it’s ok, honey, we’re gonna figure it out.” y/n’s eyes just water with each tear that drops from madeline’s eyes. “no, no, it’s okay, y/n.”

“i’m sorry, i’m just so tired.”

“i know, i’m here now. we can fix this, okay?” y/n swipes under her eyes, taking in sharp breaths and trying to steady herself. “hey, honey, listen to me. you’re ok, madeline’s ok, i’m ok. we’ll be alright.

she nods as his arm touches her side, the baby wrapped in his other arm. “alright. why don’t you hold her, and i’m gonna go see if our noise machine is here yet.”

buck rustles through packages and gifts from their baby shower and tries to find anything that might help their girl sleep, and anything that will bring relief to y/n.

“i found it! it’ll be white noise, which we should’ve tried sooner. i don’t know if it’ll work, but it won’t hurt to try.”

buck allowed y/n to place the baby in her crib, letting her tiny body rest against the soft mattress. they turned the lights off and plugged in the machine, which sang out the staticky white noise that calmed their daughter.

her crying started to come to a halt after a bit of hearing the noise, her adorable little eyes shutting after a bit to finally rest. y/n could feel her whole body relax under seeing her baby finally sleep, as it had felt like days.

she felt like crying, she felt like sleeping, but she also felt like she had so much to do. the house was a mess, her baby had finally gotten to sleep, but she also wanted to sleep. it felt like one thing after another, and buck looked over again to see a y/n staring at the ground.

“what’s the matter? talk to me, y/n.”

“i’m not cut out for this,” her shaky voice comes out, his hands on the sides of her arms.

“what? of course you are!”

“i can barely manage to keep this house together, let alone keep our baby happy and i haven’t even been able to go back to work! i feel like shit and i just want to be happy with my baby, but i don’t even know if she’s happy and-“

“alright, i know,” she allows herself to fall into bucks grasp, as he worries silently for her in his mind. he can feel the exhaustion venting off her body, begging for sleep and somewhere to lay in peace and quiet. “i don’t want you worrying about anything else. let’s go to sleep, and i’m gonna help you, i promise. i’m never leaving either of your sides.”

his arms warmly grasp her body clad in a soft set. he leads her to their shared bed, pulling the blankets out and holding her as she finally gets her deserved sleep.

[do-androids-dream-ao3acc]

Hi hi! Fic prompt if you fancy it;

"I know you're used to doing this stuff alone but would it kill you to let someone actually help for once?"

With a bit of whump on the side?

Have a great day :)

Nonny, you definitely fueled my creativity with this, and I'm very grateful, thank you! So, it's not much, but as this was unexpectedly not the only prompt I received today, I thought I'm gonna make a short collection of all prompts resp. fics I'm doing for those prompts. That being said, I will probably use every prompt I've been gifted today, just not very quickly, and I appreciate your patience. So, for the first prompt, have this:

Love Can Only Heal

— Don't be afraid to feel Cause love can only heal —

"You know, I'm disappointed, Evan."

Buck doesn't fancy being a disappointment – yes, he's used to it, just not to hearing it from Tommy. Tommy, standing at the threshold to Buck’s loft, this look in his beautiful eyes. However, it looks more like concern; like honest, downright intimate care.

"D… disappointed?"

Buck is genuinely confused, but he’s also quite distracted. Tommy leans in the doorframe like a high school bully, he undoubtedly has the physical qualities of someone who won’t stop at hurting you with words. Then again, this is Tommy, and besides the somewhat worried gaze, his eyes are nothing but soft. That’s an extremely confusing charisma.

"Are you going to let me in or…?"

Tommy's fleeting gesture includes the hallway and the doors of Buck's neighbors, and for a second, another very contradictory feeling arouses. Buck doesn't want to disturb his neighbors, but he also wants the whole world to see Tommy. Tommy, who has kissed him and whom he has kissed (oh, and way more than that) and with whom he can imagine a host of new things, the most innocuous of which is to make up for the canceled dance at Maddie's crashed wedding reception.

Buck limps to the side and Tommy enters, and as always, his sheer presence seems to fill the loft. It's as if that wide open space shrinks to a minimum until there are only Tommy's eyes, still resting on Buck, but – thank goodness – anything but disapproving.

"If I had a penny for every time you broke your foot, Evan…"

"... you'd have two, which isn't much, but funny that it happened twice," Buck replies automatically, and now they're both grinning, and that's when he knows everything’s going to be okay. He just knows.

"It's not my fault, by the way," Buck adds, limping over to the couch and patting it cheekily for Tommy to sit down, "no one could have guessed that just as I was digging that puppy out of the rubble, there'd be a piece of ceiling coming down."

"Of course you'd rescue a puppy in a burning house that's almost collapsing," Tommy replies softly, and then he does that thing again.

He puts two fingers under Buck's chin, lifts it; Buck's heart beats hard in anticipation of a kiss, but no. Tommy's eyes strangely resemble Buck of the puppy he pulled out of a pile of debris, but there’s also something else in them... it's not really disappointment, it's more like... hurt.

"But I don't quite understand why I have to hear this from Maddie, Evan."

The way Tommy says Evan... if Buck didn't actually feel a little guilty – because now he knows what's going on, now he realizes – he'd probably pounce on the pilot for good. They’d make out on the couch, because that’s basically where Evan sleeps since the accident, and then… Tommy wait’s for an answer, that’s clear. If only Buck’s mind wasn’t so empty.

"I... uh…" Buck isn't particularly good at apologizing. He spent his whole life apologizing for existing, and it never helped.

"From Maddie," Tommy continues, "and not from my boyfriend."

Buck's face becomes as hot as that of a kid caught in the act.

"I just didn't want to..."

Everything Buck might say collapses in his mind like a ridiculous house of cards; the thoughts seem stupid to him. Perhaps that is simply his fate. Maybe he will never get away from being an eternal disappointment to everyone in his life.

"Evan," Tommy says, and there's something in his voice that makes Buck look up, "do you trust me?"

Buck's heart skips an extra beat. Does Tommy know he's repeating the exact words he said to Buck on their first night together? It opened up a whole new world for him. And only now does he really understand how far this goes. Being genuinely wanted. Loved, even, in a completely different way than he is used to.

"Yes," he simply replies, grasping Tommy's hands and holding them tightly, because this is something to hold on to.

"I know you're used to doing this stuff alone but would it kill you to let someone actually help for once?" asks Tommy, and it's still unbelievable that Tommywants to be that someone.

There’s an answer on the tip of Buck’s tongue, and he quickly swallows it. Because yes, sometimes even Evan Buckley can control himself. He could have said that he only broke his foot, that he can still walk (well, limp), that he doesn't need any help. He could refer to their often so different shifts making it hard to see each other more often, and there's Maddie and the rest of the crew to help out, but… That’s not what Tommy meant, and he knows it. 

"I'm a lousy boyfriend, huh," Buck says with his crooked grin that defuses many situations, but Tommy immediately shakes his head.

"Evan Buckley, you're everything I want, get that in your thick skull," he says sternly, yet there's that glint in his eye, "and I don't want you to change, all right? I just want to, ugh..."

Tommy is adorable in his embarrassment, gesturing broadly, searching for words.

"I know," Buck says, and now there's probably something in his tone that makes Tommy sit up and take notice. Because he really knows what Tommy wants, and that's something that none of his previous partners ever actually wanted, not even Abby, at least not like this.

He wants to be a part of Buck's life, a real part, not a decoration, not a fleeting affair. Not an exciting party topic, or just the guy you call when you need a place to sleep. Tommy gives his all, he puts all his heart into this. So far, Buck had the most profound conversations with Tommy and, as strange as it sounds, the most profound sex. Above all, though, emotions deeper than anything he’s felt before. Truer than everything he’s felt before. Yes, Tommy gives his all, and that’s why Buck has to do the same.

His phone is lying on the floor in front of the sofa; in this life, Buck will never be tidy, but right now it is lying there very suitably. He takes it, and as he taps on it, he almost hears Tommy's frown.

"What are you doing, Evan?"

"Here," he replies and holds the mobile in Tommy's face. "From now on, you're the first, all right?"

Tommy once told him that he was a pretender for so many years. He’s had years of practice in turning his face into a mask, showing whatever those around him expected him to be, to feel. He doesn't do that anymore, and he knows that he doesn't need it with Buck, something that delights him greatly. And so it is not surprising that Tommy's facial expression quickly changes from irritation to something very, very soft. Well, a bit like a puppy after all.

"Are you sure?" he asks, his eyes seeking the same confirmation as his words.

His name is at the top of Buck's contact list, under emergency contact. Maybe that's only flattering for someone like Buck and Tommy, only understandable for people like them who risk their lives for others and so often fall by the wayside themselves. Tommy understands. He exhales a bated breath, and it sounds like a sweet sigh of relief.

"Very, very sure," Buck replies, and he doesn’t mean just this silly gesture, of course.

He means it all. He’s in it, he’ll give his all. And Tommy?

Tommy knows, and he smiles.

[sofa-king-lame]

Wasn't tagged by anyone but wanted to do this anyway

Rules: Share the first line of your last ten published works or as many as you are able and see if there are any patterns.

Do You Want Me (or Do You Want Me Dead) AKA The Glasses Fic

Buck should be asleep. It’s after five in the morning, they’re fresh off a five-alarm fire that absolutely took it out of him and he’s physically shattered , but his brain just won’t switch the fuck off. 

I Hold It All When I Hold You

It’s not wondering how today will go that’s making Eddie anxious – he knows exactly how today will go. It’s the fallout he knows is coming.

A Buck Short (8x08 coda)

Buck’s world is ending. Eddie is moving to El Paso, and Buck’s world is collapsing in on itself. He’s getting left behind. Again. He’s not enough for someone to stay. Again. 

On Purpose

Eddie’s got it all planned out. Chimney and Maddie are in on it, Bobby is in on it, Hen and Karen are in on it, and Chris is in on it.

When You Use Your Lips They Better Be On Me

See, here’s the thing. Eddie was a repressed gay man. He’d realised he was gay at thirteen then spent the next twenty years with his fingers in his ears saying “la la la I can’t hear you” to any and all queer thoughts or inclinations that crossed his mind. 

Not Like This

“You know, every year I say I'm never going overboard with the Christmas decorations again. And here we are,” Eddie grumbles as he tugs at the tangled mess of lights.

You Walk Around With My Heart On Your Sleeve

It’s hot out and Eddie can’t quite figure out why he’s on Buck’s balcony, copping the full blast of the California summer sun when he could be inside in the air-conditioning. Inside is also where the beers are, and inside is where Buck is.

Lately I've Been Good (You Know I've Actually Been Great)

Shannon was the first person Eddie came out to. Well, second. But he doesn’t think that blurting it out to your therapist in the middle of a full-blown breakdown counts, so if anyone asks he tells them it was Shannon.

Tell Me It's Okay to Be Happy Now (Because I'm Happy Now)

Realising he was bisexual was a lightbulb moment Buck felt like he’d been looking for his whole life. Lots of little moments in his life made a hell of a lot more sense, and something that he hadn’t even realised was tight low in his gut loosened. Didn’t hurt that his hook-up pool effectively doubled, all because he’d had a rough shift at work and was looking to blow off steam. 

Everyone Before You Was a Waste of Time

If someone had told Buck this morning he’d be rocking up to Maddie’s place at two in the morning have a full-blown meltdown, he would have believed them. If someone had told Buck this morning he’d turn up to Maddie’s place at two in the morning having a full-blown meltdown over the fact that he’s absolutely crushingly in love with his best friend he would have recommended them for psychiatric treatment. 

--

Updated again 6-12-24 to include most recent fics (and to add a little more to each snippet).

[wildlife4life]

WIP Wednesday

*Peeks head out from hidey hole* Hey ya'll...I'm back! It has been a hot minute since I've been truly active here. Getting through the holidays, getting ready for school, general stay at home mom stuff, and just literal lack of writers block/motivation kept from working on wips. But I have seen and very much appreciated every tag! Thank you for not forgetting about me!

Today I've been tagged by the wonderful and glamorous @giddyupbuck, @wikiangela, and @disasterbuckdiaz. Looking forward to all your upcoming works and loving all that has been posted already!

Alright, so I know several are wanting some NFL Buck and I promise I will be getting back to the fic once I am finished with my 4+1 Buck's kindness being a cockblocker. So here is some of that! Enjoy!

A tear-filled okay is Buck’s only answer and together with Eddie, they sit there for a long minute, listening to Maddie take several deep breaths, each one becoming smoother than the last. After the fourth deep breath, she answer’s Buck’s earlier worries, “No one is hurt. I’m sorry.” Her voice is a little rough and she hiccups, trying to hold back more sobs. “Okay that’s good. Means whatever has you breaking our ear drums is fixable.” Buck reassures. “Our ears?” Maddie repeats, “Oh god. Eddie?” Mortification leeched into her sadness. “I’m here. Gave Buck quite a scare, me too.” Eddie answers gently. A short second of silence, then the sound of skin smacking skin, “Oh my god, I forgot all about the kid free weeks of debauchery Buck and you had planned! Oh god! Are you two even dressed? Did I interrupt?” Buck’s cheeks flare bright red and Eddie’s brain comes to halt for a moment at the Maddie’s description of their time without Christopher. “I swear I did not call it that!” Buck hissed under his breath to Eddie. Maddie clearly heard him and gives an awkward cough, “Um no. Actually, those were Howie’s words. Apparently, Eddie, you didn’t hide the uh contents of your duffle that well.” “Dios.” Eddie groaned, his mind flashing to bag he had packed to stay with Buck for the next weeks. Of course, he didn’t bring just clothes and basic toiletries. While Buck had an impressive collection of toys and other pleasurable items of his own, Eddie was a bit possessive.  He wanted new, unused, and untouched by anyone but him and Buck. Mainly him. And Chimney somehow caught a glimpse of the debauchery Eddie was bringing with him. The elder Buckley sibling hummed, “Yea…” “Can I be struck by lightening again?” Buck mumbles, scraping a harsh hand down his heated face.

This fic is close to being done and I am super nervous because I am working on the final scene and its supposed to be very smutty with a very desperate Eddie. Never done that before and I'm hoping its up to standards. Anywho... Hope you all enjoyed! You can find previous snippets of this wip here.

Tagging (no pressure... bet you're surprised to me again! lol): @malewifediaz @exhuastedpigeon @hippolotamus @daffi-990 @jamespearce9-1-1 @thewolvesof1998 @jeeyuns @devirnis @lover-of-mine @911onabc @911-on-abc @bekkachaos @loserdiaz @hoodie-buck @try-set-me-on-fire @fortheloveofbuddie @spotsandsocks @theotherbuckley @ladydorian05 @elvensorceress @bigfootsmom @watchyourbuck @jesuisici33 @eddiebabygirldiaz @spaceprincessem @thekristen999 @spagheddiediaz @monsterrae1 @rogerzsteven @eowon @honestlydarkprincess @eddiescowboy @vampbuckley @bitchfacediaz @buck-coded @housewifebuck @arthursdent @glorious-spoon @buddierights @athenagranted @prosperdemeter2 @rainbow-nerdss @gayedmundodiaz

[diazheartsbuckley]

Fuck it Friday/ Inspiration Saturday ✨

Thank you to everyone who’s been tagging me in this past week, I love seeing your works 🥹 I’ve once again been freakishly busy and haven’t had much time to write. I’m still not doing too great mentally but I’m working through it ™️

Today I had some writing beans for the asthma fic and wanted to share some 💕

Prev snippet here

Buck topples over, his knees and hands hitting the uneven ground, gravel boring into his skin. He digs his nails into the dirt, small pieces making their way under his nails and then he feels a hand on his shoulder. But he doesn’t recognize it.

He lifts his head slightly and shakes it a little because right in front of him… is himself.

He really must be out of it now.

But he’s no older than eight with chapped lips and ruffled hair, gasping for breath like he is right now. A look of panic and pain is written all over his face as he glances to the side, almost if he’s trying to warn him. Buck blinks twice only to see his mirror image pressing a finger against his lips, telling him to stay calm, to stay quiet.

The weight of a child’s hand disappears and is replaced with a much firmer touch, almost gripping onto his shoulder. Fear fills his body instantly and he pulls away, almost losing his balance as he scurries backwards, ahead from the touch. He’s going to get hurt. He did a bad thing. He wasn’t being a good son. He was drawing attention to himself in all the wrong ways. He shouldn’t do that.

“Don’t, please, I’m sorry. I-… I’ll be quiet. Don’t touch me-… Don’t touch me” He scrambles to find his words and to run away. At this moment, he remembers everything.

Every harsh word his father has ever said. Every time that he did something that he shouldn’t. Every time that he couldn’t breathe and his father gripped his shoulders, shaking him and telling him to quiet down. He remembers the pain of his fathers fingers digging into the back of his neck, holding him in place and telling him how much of a disappointment he was. He remembers sitting in the corner of his room, hiding underneath his desk while struggling to breathe. He remembers Maddie’s soothing voice and touch, her warm fingers combing through his hair. He remembers how much he was crying.

And he remembers the instant relief washing over his body as Maddie quietly brought him his inhaler, urging him to use it. And he remembers refusing it, feeling like he deserved the aching in his bones.

“Buck, hey, it’s me” Eddie attempts a different approach, kneeling down in front of Buck without touching him. “It’ll be okay, baby. It’ll be okay. I’m going to take your hand and put it on my chest, so you can feel my heart, okay?” He says but doesn’t get an answer.

He hadn’t expected one but he had hoped for one.

(…)

When he slowly reaches out for Buck, the panic in his eyes doesn’t seem to settle and Buck presses himself further back against the truck, weakly holding up his hands as if to shield himself. “I was bad, I know I was bad. I-… I’m sorry. I’ll be better, I’m sorry” Every word that comes out of Buck’s mouth is followed by a forced breath, an almost inaudible crackle resounding in his chest.

Warm tears are streaming down Buck’s face and gasping breaths mix with sniffing as he tries to compose himself, to apparently be good. He presses his eyes closed and shakes his head aggressively, weak hands holding onto the side of his shirt. It seems to only further restrict his breathing but he does it so that he can be quiet again. He needs to be quiet and he needs to be calm and he needs to be good.

Maybe it would be easier if he just stopped breathing altogether.

Tagged by @tizniz @disasterbuckdiaz @diazsdimples @spotsandsocks @wildlife4life @theotherbuckley @wikiangela @exhuastedpigeon @hippolotamus @cal-daisies-and-briars @daffi-990 @dangerpronebuddie @watchyourbuck 🤭

Tagging!! @giddyupbuck @puppyboybuckley @jesuisici33 @honestlydarkprincess @thewolvesof1998 @butraura @loserdiaz @maygrantgf @elvensorceress @underwater-ninja-13 @loveyourownsmiilee @fiona-fififi @monsterrae1 @steadfastsaturnsrings @extasiswings @spagheddiediaz @nmcggg @buckbuckgoose @evanbegins @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @athenagranted 🦋🩵

[buddierecs]

aly's favourite fic's

this is a list of my all time favourites buddie fics :) it will be a mixture of ratings. please check the rating/tags!

let's hear it for the boy by hattalove (anything by this author is incredible!!!!) "in which eddie attends a self-empowerment group for gbtq men to supplement his therapy, and is empowered to: forgive himself, say "i'm gay" to his own reflection in the mirror, accidentally adopt an adult, make fried rice, and tell his straight best friend that he's in love with him. not necessarily in that order." word count: 56k rating: teen and up audiences important tags: self-discovery, coming out, friends to lovers, pining, gay disaster!eddie diaz.

leave the light on (i'll be coming home) - highly highly recommend this!!!!! by: HMSLusitania "an accident on a call leaves buck with custody of chris after eddie is... missing presumed. while they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite eddie's parents' best efforts -- a john doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home." word count: 44k rating: mature important tags: presumed dead, grief, mourning, angst, amnesia, getting together a leaf falls on loneliness by: iimpossible_things "buck doesn’t think that if he were to say, “i’m in a bad place”, that anyone would turn him away. really, he doesn’t. the 118 has too many good, kind people for that. but every time he wants to open his mouth, to say something, to reach out to eddie or bobby or hen or chim, he hears eddie yelling, “you’re exhausting.” —you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting— so each day he does his job and he laughs and he jokes and he pretends he’s the care-free goofball he’s always been. And each day he packs away his bruises and his worries, takes them home to his empty loft with its quiet rooms, and licks his wounds in silence." word count: 11k rating: not rated important tags: angst, fluff, happy ending, orginal male character and i'm not good at winning fights anymore by: spaceprincessem "five times buck needs to feel eddie's heartbeat and the one time eddie needs to feel his" word count: 24k rating: teen and up audience important tags: 5+1 things, whump, protective!eddie diaz, getting together, soft boys in love, ptsd i know you're hurting (but so am i) by: justhockey "eddie understands better than maybe anyone else ever could, how it feels to have everything unravel in the palm of your hands. he knows frustration - he knows fury. he’s painfully familiar with that burning rage that crackles in the tips of your fingers, that makes your skin hot and chest tight, and makes you want to punch anyone that dares to even look at you. but that doesn’t give chim the right to lay a damn hand on buck" word count: 3.7k rating: not rated important tags: ptsd, feelings realisation, protective!eddie diaz, communication, 5x04 coda good pretender by: likeshipsonthesea "an au where buck broke up with taylor before 5b, ravi and buck become (actually platonic) friends with benefits, and ravi, eddie, and buck all go on a journey of self-discovery that ends with them all getting what they need" word count: 85k rating: explicit important tags: friends with benefits (buckandravi), casual sex, childhood tramua, healing, feelings realisation, jealous!eddie diaz, ptsd, love confessions, anal sex

the best life is the truth (my best mask is my face) by: letmetellyouaboutmyfeels the buckleys are celebrating their 50th anniversary, and maddie and buck are both expected to come. to take the heat off maddie, buck impulsively blurts out that he's seeing someone new. obviously, there's only one solution: bring eddie as his fake boyfriend, pretend to be in love with him, and survive the weekend with minimal bloodshed. no problem, except for the, uh. "pretend" part." word count: 43k rating: explicit important tags: fake dating, idiots to lovers, there was only one bed, eventual smut

tomorrow will always and forever now be today (tomorrow is our always and forver) by: withmeornotatall "eddie gets trapped in a time loop on the day buck marries natalia" word count: 43k rating: mature important tags: time loop, minor buck/natalia, heavy angst, eventual happy ending, weddings, love confessions winter prayer by: daisies_and_briars "when a work conflict prevents athena from accompanying bobby to minnesota for the ten year anniversary of his family dying, buck and may offer to go instead. over the course of the trip, they all learn more about each other, and bobby faces his grief." word count: 18k rating: general audiences important tags: road trip, family bonding, grief, healing, angst, bobby being a dad to may and buck, may and buck are siblings

what a heart can do by: bvckandeddie "in which buck becomes the guardian of the daughter he never knew he had. together, they discover what happiness truly means to them." word count: 128k rating: teen and up important tags: girldad!buck, slow burn, friends to co-parents to lovers, oblivious!evan buckley, therapy, light angst, emotional hurt/comfort

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | December 11th-18th 2023

🎵 It's beginning to look a lot like Christmaaaaaaas 🎵

If you guys have any Christmas buddie fics to recommend, drop them in the comments!

Also, I see your reblogs, your tags and your comments, and I really appreciate them! 😊

Complete

We might end up real close by thewolvesof1998 / @thewolvesof1998 (S2E1: Under Pressure, PWP | 2K | Explicit): “Said you wanted us to bond. We might end up real close.” When Buck said those words to Bobby just merely few hours ago, it had been a joke about how if the bomb went off they would be reduced to blood, shards of bone and flesh, mixed so together that you wouldn’t be able to tell them apart without DNA testing. He hadn’t meant it in the way that it was now true with Eddie balls deep in him as he fucks Buck against the tile wall of the firehouse showers, both of them still fully dressed, uniform pants undone and pulled only down to mid-thigh in their haste.

in the moonlight you look just like an angel in disguise by smilingbuckley/ @smilingbuckley (Post-S6, Cabin fic | 35K | Mature): While Christopher is at camp, Buck and Eddie go on a vacation of their own to a small cabin in the woods... It goes as well as you'd expect.

got nothing but love for you (fall more in love every day) by smilingbuckley/ @smilingbuckley (S6, Secret Relationship | 6K | Mature): 5 times Buck and Eddie are almost caught + 1 time they are

this is a place where I feel at home by smilingbuckley/ @smilingbuckley (Buck&Bobby | 1K | General): After watching parents mourn the loss of their children, the 118 go to check up on their children. And Bobby... he's staring at Buck, and Buck is confused.

something 'bout the time of the year by smilingbuckley/ @smilingbuckley (Christmas, Getting Together | 20K | Teen): “We need to talk,” Eddie looks up from his phone to see Christopher standing in the kitchen doorway with his arms crossed, his crutches leaning against the wall beside him. “That doesn’t sound good,” Eddie teases and locks his phone, “What about.” “Buck,” Christopher answers and walks over to the table, sitting down in front of Eddie. “He always tries to make Christmas happy for others. Aunt Maddie said they didn’t celebrate it when they were kids. We need to give him the best Christmas this year.” “You have a plan?” (Part 1 of The Diaz Christmas Experience)

want your love in every flavor by smilingbuckley/ @smilingbuckley (PWP | 2K | Explicit): After getting together and Buck promising he'll stay the rest of the month at the Diaz house, they go back to his loft to pack. But the excitement of finally being together gets them distracted. (Part 2 of The Diaz Christmas Experience)

Santa Baby by smilingbuckley/ @smilingbuckley (PWP | 2K | Explicit): Buck has to be aware of what the Santa suit did to him. And to the single mothers visiting, his mind supplies, and his fingers tighten their hold on the steering wheel. He hates when he gets jealous. Maybe it’s not jealousy, because he knows Buck would never flirt back or something. But he feels something when he sees those moms bat their eyes at him, probably imagining taking the sexy Santa home. But, he thinks, I am taking this sexy Santa home. (Part 3 of The Diaz Christmas Experience)

happy new year by smilingbuckley/ @smilingbuckley (Established Buddie, NYE | 2K | Teen): It's quite magical to actually have fireworks around them as they kiss. Buck had always felt them, imagined them in a very cartoony way. Now it’s real. The ground shakes slightly underneath his feet with the loud rumbles. The lights flicker against his closed eyelids. And Eddie’s mouth is warm and loving against his. (Part 4 of The Diaz Christmas Experience)

merle said mama tried, but the prison still won by oklahoma/ @malewifediaz (Christmas, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): Eddie goes to (mall) jail.

Of Love, Hospital Jitters And Christmas Lights by callmenewbie/ @callmenewbie (Established Buddie, Hurt Chris | 6K | Teen): Eddie and Buck end up in the hospital waiting room a few days before Christmas

to wake up by your side is all I wanna do by smilingbuckley/ @smilingbuckley (Living Together, FWB | 14K | Mature): After a fire destroys his loft, Buck moves in with the Diazes indefinitely. Except neither he, Christopher, nor Eddie wants him to move out. Buck gets used to being fully included in the Diaz family and the changes it brings to be with them full-time. It's a dream come true, especially when things between him and Eddie start developing in a certain way.

when your world is on fire by smilingbuckley/ @smilingbuckley (Established Buddie, Hurt Eddie | 6K | Teen): The 118 responds to what should be a normal house fire only to find out that one of their own is stuck inside and believed to be dead.

it's so dark tonight (but you'll survive certainly) by lemonzestywrites/ @lemonzestywrites (S5E6 Speculation | 5K | Teen): Eddie struggles with the aftermath of being held hostage and Buck is there to help keep him from crashing.

when it rains in california by lemonzestywrites/ @lemonzestywrites (Getting Together | 4K | General): The minutes pass, and the rain falls with a scattered tapping on the ground. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had seen it rain like this in LA, quiet and calming, leaving a nice undisturbed haze across the city skies. He wants to bask in it, even for a moment. Well...maybe not in the rain. Buck’s more than okay watching it afar from the awning in Eddie’s backyard.

temptation comes from wants we cannot yet claim by lemonzestywrites/ @lemonzestywrites (Coma Eddie | 8K | Teen): He thinks back to waking up with Buck in bed beside him, of family breakfast and lazy morning ins. All of that sounds…it sounds wonderful. Perfect even. And of course, he’d want it here. Here where he can experience these things. And even for a fraction of a second let his mind wander and believe it’s real. Even when it’s not. He knows he shouldn’t- can’t. But God, Eddie wants. He wants, and he wants- “You could stay here.”

can't make it stop, give me all you got by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (PWP | 4K | Explicit): Eddie and Buck fuck in a club at Pride

men made of stone and forged in fire (even you deserved to be so softly loved) by lemonzestywrites/ @lemonzestywrites (First Kiss | 5K | Teen): A quiet night in and a hand running through his hair, those two simple things usually don't do much to phase the average person. But Eddie is a different story.

share this hour of make-believe by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Quarantine, Pre-S4 | 1K | General): or, quarantine finds eddie sharing a bed with a pillow-thief and sleep-talker. he minds less than he thinks.

all i want for christmas by lemonzestywrites/ @lemonzestywrites (Christmas, Proposal | 3K | Teen): Eddie decides to finally pop the question to Buck, but his proposal doesn’t go quite as he planned.

jadeite hearts could never cost this much by lemonzestywrites/ @lemonzestywrites (Getting Together | Teen): Eddie and Buck spend their first night together after their first kiss. Adorable fluff ensues.

exactly what you were looking for by lemonzestywrites/ @lemonzestywrites (Established Buddie, Proposal | 3K | Teen): While washing the dishes, Eddie comes to a gentle revelation.

a two inch difference by lemonzestywrites/ @lemonzestywrites (Getting Together | 3K | Teen): The height difference between Buck and Eddie is only two inches, which isn't a significant one by any means- until it is.

🔥 the last shred of truth in the lost myth of true love by lemonzestywrites/ @lemonzestywrites (Friends With Benefits, Post-S6E13 | 25K | Explicit): “If…If you’re really curious about if you’re still good at sex, you can practice,” he says slowly, partly from nerves and also because Eddie is still unsure if he should even say it at all. But once again, self-preservation is only a few steps too slow, and Eddie rips the bandaid off before he can rethink it all. “With me.”

Hold Me Close and Hold Me Fast by giselleslash (Post-Lightning strike | 5K | General): Buck dies and Eddie knows he needs to finally let go of the fear that’s been keeping him from telling Buck everything, because that fear is nothing compared to seeing Buck suspended in the sky far from his reach and lost to him. He’s going to bring Buck home.

Be My Baby by elless (Established Buddie | 1,6K | Explicit): Buck and Eddie enjoy some time alone. And maybe take an important step forward in their relationship.

🔥 dream sweet of me by spaceprincessem/ @spaceprincessem (Dimension Travel | 16K | Teen): buck is in an accident and wakes up in a universe where the 118 don't know who he is

you were the wilderness I crossed into by rowan_wood/ @transboybuckley (Post-Coma, Getting Together | 9K | Teen): or: the 118 has a 24 hour shift, and zero calls. The firefam spends it playing games, and everyone takes the opportunity to tell Buck just how much they love him. (Part 1 of bottle episode)

blind hope's my home by rowan_wood/ @transboybuckley (Fluff & Smut | 5K | Explicit): or: the first day of Buck and Eddie's new life. They fuck, they dance, they fall even more in love. (Part 2 of bottle episode)

WIP

🔥 Precious & Fragile Things by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Small Miracles AU, Angel Buck | 10K | 4/? | Teen): Buck is the Fallen Angel of Petty Temptation, who has been tasked with tempting human Eddie Diaz to sin and enjoy life, but just a little. He thinks the job will be easy - get in, get out, go back to Peru to continue messing around with eternity. But when Buck arrives in Los Angeles, he finds Eddie is harder to tempt than expected, and more compelling than Buck had hoped.

🔥 Right Where You Left Me by hyacinthusbloom/ @thebloomingheather (Canon Divergent, Post-S4, Angst | 20K | 19/? | Explicit | Warning: Rape/Non-con): "Therapy?" Eddie suggests. Buck almost laughs, but instead says, "I'll go if you go." Because he had fully expected him to be chicken shit, to disagree, and instead Eddie, the bastard, replies, "Deal." Or Buck never tells anyone that he slept with his therapist and deals with the butterfly effect years later.

Kiss Me Once Cause You Know I Had A Long Night by I_still_dont_understand_13 / @sherlockcrossing (Prompt collection | 15/? | 10K | Teen): 100 kiss prompts.

[it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream]

When sparks fly

Hi Guys, this is an idea for a 911 fic ft Buck and Eddie x reader, let me know what you think and if I should actually make it into something...

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The bustle of the city was something you were still trying to get used to. It was a complete change from the small village you had grown up in, gone were the days where you’d say hi to everyone who walked the streets, now you had to dodge the onslaught of the morning commuters to avoid being burnt by tall steaming cups of coffee.

You had officially become a needle in a very, very large haystack.

You checked your phone again, triple checking you were headed in the right direction even though you’d only been there a few days ago collecting your key card and other essential items to start your new job as an LA emergency dispatcher.

You stomach did summersaults as you pushed through the wide glass doors and into what would be the start of your new life.

Luck was on your side today; you were buddied up with a woman called Maddie who took you under her wing almost instantly. Showing you the ropes, getting you settled in and introducing you to all your new co-workers.

Maddie never left your side, not even when she had to speak to Howie, who you found out was her husband, or when she got a phone call from Buck, her brother. She explained that Howie and Buck were firefighters with the 118, one of the crews who you’d be working closely with.

The days went on like this for a couple of weeks. Call after call, you finally felt like you were making some sort of difference, and every day on the job you seemed to get closer and closer to Maddie.

You were both about to clock off for the day when Maddie turned to you, inviting you to the bar where she’d be meeting Howie and the rest of the 118. Shuffling your feet nervously you glanced at your phone, one drink couldn’t hurt? It wasn’t like you had work tomorrow.

“Do we have time to swing by my place so I can change quickly? It’s not far… I could meet you there if you don’t want to wait?” You looked down at your dispatcher uniform and grimaced. Probably not the best look to go with to make a good first impression.

“Of course we can Y/N, let me give you a ride then we can drop my car at the station and walk to the bar with Buck.”

Buck. You’d heard his name so many times, yet you still hadn’t met him. According to Maddie he was a few years older than you, he was goofy, caring, charming and you could tell by the way Maddie spoke about her little brother that he was a good person.

It hadn’t taken you long to get ready. Maddie had come up to your apartment with you and you grimaced when she noticed the still to be unpacked boxes. You didn’t like to get comfortable, that’s when something bad normally happened. Unpacking was tempting fate. Luckily your friend didn’t pry.

Your apartment was relatively close by, the fire station only a few blocks away. Butterflies erupted in your stomach as you walked into the building with Maddie by your side. She said some of the others would already be at the bar, but Buck was waiting so he could walk us over.

In the short space of getting to know the women you worked with you’d learnt about her past and her ex, Doug. In a way it hit close to home. Having to run from something, fearing for your life everyday…never knowing what tomorrow could bring. You could understand why Buck would be protective.

The warm glow of the lights from overhead illuminated the fire trucks, gleaming beasts sitting pride of place at the forefront of the firehouse. You would have been able to take in your surroundings a lot more clearly if it wasn’t for the man leaning against one of the trucks in question.

He must be at least 6’3, short sandy coloured hair, kind eyes, a red birth mark just above one of them that looked almost like a scar. His lips were plump and parted as he looked down at his phone. His shirt tight across his chest and his biceps. He looked up when he heard the approaching footsteps, his mouth stretching into a wide smile and his eyes twinkled.

“I was about to send out a search party.” Maddie playfully smacked the man on the arm as he pulled her into his side for a hug. His eyes never left yours.

“Buck, this is Y/N.” Buck let go of Maddie and took a couple of steps toward yo. You had to look up to take him in, being only 5’6 had its disadvantages.

“Evan Buckley, pleasure to finally meet you.” He stuck out his hand for you to shake and you timidly put yours forward. Your palms touched; it was a good thing you were in a firehouse because the sparks were out of control.

You were both snapped out of your daze as Maddie coughed beside you. Her eyes glinted with mischief, and it was hard for her not to smile. Your cheeks were probably the same shade as the engine you stood near to.

Footsteps clanged against the metal stairs making your jump slightly.

“Sorry guys, ready to go? Just had to phone Carla and check in on Chris.” The man stopped short when he caught a glimpse of you behind Buck. If you had to guess, this was Eddie. Bucks’ best friend.

Tan skin, dark brown hair and eyes to match, chiselled jaw with a hint of stubble and the muscles that rivelled Bucks, not to mention the thousand-watt smile. His voice was familiar, just as Bucks had been from the countless of calls you’d handled in the short time you’d been a dispatcher.

“You must be Y/N, I’m Eddie.”

Another hand to shake, more sparks.

You were screwed.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Happy Friday Cal!

this week I'm looking forward to a museum wedding, parental visit angst, a search for a spouse, and one juiced-fruit of a nutjob getting out of the hospital 😁

I'm also loving the murder mystery party ☠️ story so far and I'm trying to watch every little detail in the time loop ➰ fic for clues—but perhaps I'll ask about those later this week (or they can be backups if you finish Long Death before you get to this one! dealer's choice)

⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️🧟🧟🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟🧟🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

~Maxi

HEY MAXI!

Sorry it took a minute to get to this one but here we go!!! Happy you're excited for these!

---

24 for ⚡:

---

He’s never exactly blamed her for his choices there, but… But they both know the way he was raised has everything to do with the path he went down. And hearing her acknowledgement of that feels somewhat liberating. Like he can unburden himself the blame he thought she was laying on him. 

“Thank you, Mom,” he says. “I really appreciate that.” 

She smiles, gesture reaching her misty eyes, and reaches over to pat his shoulder. 

“You look wonderful, by the way,” she says. “Just wonderful.”

Eddie doesn’t exactly know how or why or where it came from, but he feels like they’ve turned some kind of corner. 

He smiles. “Thanks. I, uh… I just can’t wait to see Buck.”

Helena nods. “He is quite handsome. I can see why.”

“Mom!”

“What? Eddie, I have eyes.”

Eddie finds himself laughing, much to his own surprise. 

“Yeah, he’s beautiful,” he says softly. “I’m a lucky guy.”

“Well,” she says firmly. “So is he.”

---

24 for 🚨:

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“What?” Margaret asks innocently. “It always does, doesn’t it?”

“I don’t think I understand,” Eddie says coolly. He doesn’t like her tone. 

Maddie shoots him a pleading look. 

No, Eddie’s not sure that will work on him. He doesn’t really care. She set this up. He likes Maddie, and he’s very sympathetic to her wanting the best for her daughter’s future, but right now, his priority is absolutely Buck. Buck over keeping the peace. Always. 

“No, really,” Eddie doubles down. “What do you mean by that?” 

Margaret blinks at Eddie. 

“Well, I’m sure he’s put his best foot forward with you, young man,” she says, a bit patronizingly. “Give it time.”

Buck’s jaw tightens. 

“Mom.” Maddie scolds. 

“Hey, now…” Chim looks aghast. “That’s…”

But he obviously doesn’t even have words.

---

30 for 🧟‍♂️:

---

He grabs a couple of blankets and cushions, boils them each a mug of tea, and they head up. 

It’s not a proper tea bag. They ration caffeinated tea and coffee pretty strictly, knowing that it’s running out. Instead, they use the plants that grow freely in the garden. One of which, that grows so insistently it’s almost a weed, is mint. Chim appreciates the mint tea quite a bit nowadays; it reminds him of the gum he used to chew. 

“Mm, this smells so good,” Maddie says when he hands her a mug. 

“I know,” he agrees. “I practically live off it now.”

“God, if you told me a year ago there’d be a time where I was living without coffee, I would have called you insane,” Maddie says. 

They head towards the stairs that lead to the roof. There is technically an elevator they can take, but it uses a lot of power. They try not to use it unless moving something heavy. 

“I know, right?” Chim laughs. “Those early days of weaning off it were brutal.”

“Weaned?” Maddie scoffs. “I had no other option but cold turkey.”

“And I do not envy you,” Chim replies. 

They make it to the roof, and Chim sets up two reclining deck chairs with the blankets and the cushions so they’re in the best position to stargaze. Maddie sets up the music with a CD she chose from the library’s collection. An oldies assortment that she says seems right for the mood. Chim wonders what she thinks that mood is. He knows what he hopes it is. Time will tell, he supposes. 

Chim flops down into his chair. Maddie, he notices, scooches hers a little closer before slowly lowering herself down. That rib has to be hurting after a day of activity. 

---

30 for 🩸:

---

Buck finds himself laughing at the absurdity of all this. Before long, Eddie is joining in. Tired, hysterical laughter.

“Shhh!” Eddie scolds him.. “You’ll wake up Chris and Soph.”

“Sorry, sorry!” Buck tries to contain himself. It’s not easy.  

Eddie shuffles over and, careful so as not to disturb Buck’s pillow set up, leans over to kiss him. 

“We’re going to be alright,” he promises. 

He sounds so certain. So determined. It’s impossible not to trust in him. 

“I know we are,” Buck says. “Because I’ve got you.”

Eddie smiles at him, expression all gooey.

“My very own living flu shot,” Buck adds. 

Eddie groans. “That was the worst thing you’ve ever said.”

“It’s sort of true though,” Buck says. 

Eddie shakes his head. “Well, then you’re very lucky you need regular boosters.”

Oh? Well, Buck likes the sound of that. Can’t be too careful about immunity, after all. 

“Something to look forward to when I no longer feel like a pincushion,” Buck says. 

Eddie rests a gentle hand on his thigh. “We have a lot to look forward to, I think.”

[pssyinboots]

Please! I need more Wally angst. Yelling, tears, heartache. The whole nine yards. Make it as dramatic as you want. Please and thank you

Ps. I loved How you get the girl💜

thank you so much!!

This request gave me a excuse to write a fic off of Best by Gracie Abrams

I Never Was The Best To You

you never were the best to Wally,you loved him more than anything but you’re issues always got in the way. Telling him little white lies,”i’m fine Wally,really”, ”Yes i understand, go spend field day with maddie”, And maybe that’s what pushed y’all apart, the fact that you were never 100 percent honest with him.

“Wally i think we should break up.”, Wally was stunned,at first he thought you were joking but looking at your face he knew you were serious. “What happened,did i do something wrong?” he try’s to hold your hands,but you just pull away, like his hands were a flame and you were afraid to get burnt. It hurt,all of it hurt. He noticed you were isolating yourself,but when he tried to bring it up you would just shut down. He never thought it would end,especially like this. “No Wally it’s just…i think we fizzled out”. You’re lying,not only to him but to yourself. There’s a part of you screaming at you to stop,take it all back and reach over and kiss him. Instead you push that feeling down. And you tell yourself good riddance.He deserves someone better than you.

Wally hates you, or at least that’s what he tells himself,and anyone listening. He couldn’t believe that you would just leave him like that. He tried talking to you a few days after,but you avoided him like the plague. You’ve been on the roof since you guys broke up. When you and Wally were together you guys would lay out on the field and look up at the stars every night, it was your comfort place. He still goes out there every night. You watch him from the roof every night wishing you could go down and beg for him back but you can’t,you won’t. For weeks you would watch him on the field by himself, tonight was the first time there was someone else with him,Maddie. You watched him and Maddie talk under the moon,it was torturous. But you knew this was good for him, she was good for him.

Tonight was the night of the homecoming game and the first time since the break up that you came off the roof. You tried to hold yourself back, but you couldn’t help yourself. You knew how big homecoming was for him. Even though you were sure he hated you, you still had to be there for him. You watched as he ran around the field with a big smile on his face. You were so proud of him, you wished that you could go up and tell him that but you knew it would just make the whole situation worse. Wally thought he saw you in the crowd,but there’s no way that you would be here after what happened.

You looked at him up in the bleachers as he stands next to his mom and takes off his jersey as he stares at Maddie. It just proved to you that breaking up with him was for the best, you could of never helped him like that. “You know he misses you right?”, you whip your head around to see Charlie leaning on the bleachers behind you, “We all miss you.”. You turn so you could face him. Charlie was never the best at hiding his feelings. You could tell he was mad at you, but he was the only person who knew and understood the reason why you broke up with Wally. Charlie knew that you were hurting and he understood that you felt like Wally was too good for you. But he also saw how Wally completely shut down after the breakup. He just didn’t see how this could be good for either of you. “Charlie you know i miss him and everyone else too. But look how Maddie helped him let go of the pressure his mom put on him. I tried doing that for years and she did it in a couple months.”.

Charlie was going to say something but then,”y/n…”, You felt your entire body go cold. You couldn’t face him,you couldn’t do this right now. You wanted to walk away but your feet were cemented to the ground. Wally couldn’t believe you were in front of him right now, he felt like he was dreaming. He convinced himself he would never see you again and now here you were.”Can you please just look at me.”. You slowly turned around looking up at Wally you felt like you just saw a ghost. “Hey Wally.”, Wally grabs your arm and drags you to the parking lot,”What are you doing here.”. Ouch, “I haven’t missed a game since i’ve got here, I wasn’t going to do it now”, Wally just scoffs and ran his hand through his hair he couldn’t believe you. “Are you serious right now?!? You break up with me out of the blue, and just disappear to the roof never to be seen again .And now you just show up at my game talking about how you want to be here for me?!?!”. You wanted to run but he deserved answers.”Im sorry I just thought that you wouldn’t want to see me after everything…but i just had to be here for you tonight.” Wally looks at you up and down, looking at you like it’s the first time he’s seen you in years. “Can you just tell me why you did it, i need a explanation.”, “Wally….”, “Please Y/n”. You knew he deserved the truth and if you don’t tell him now, you don’t think you would ever get a chance to again.”You deserve better than me Wally, you deserve someone like Maddie.”, “When will you get that i don’t want or need someone else. I just need you.”. Your heart melted. You really want to fall back into him,but you knew you needed to solve your issues. If you say yes to Wally you’ll just fall into the same cycle like before.“Wally i really want to be in a relationship with you, more than you know but i’m just not in the right place right now. I need to work on me.”. You were about to turn and walk away, but Wally couldn’t let you do that again,he grabs your hand now you couldn’t run from him again. “Can we at least be friends,i miss you”, “Yeah Wally i would love too.”