#madden 20 points

[h0ney8ee]

weight and food stuff in tags

[shidoukanae]

*rereads Paris and Helene's second meeting for the nth time*

me every goddamn time: THEY HAVE SO MUCH CHEMISTRY HOW THE FUCK DO THEY HAVE THIS MUCH CHEMISTRY

It's so so so SO fun watching this entire meeting and how they both seem to constantly be in a little dance of sorts wherein Paris openly declares his interest in her and Helene keeps shutting him down ("You should come to Kylon. We won't overwork you the way your family does" -> "I don't have time to indulge in a life with people who don't think" -> "well that's good because i think about you so much i can't sleep"-> "and? get to the point already". like jfc he's not fucking vague about this At All).

But the best part is, for offstandish and disinterested as Helene is towards Paris (with her words cold and blunt towards him), it's really hard to deny that there isn't some interest on her part without there really being interest on her part (which is. confusing i know but. in context. oh. my god. she's a queerplatonic icon around Paris and i adore her for it)

My favorite thing to see in this scene is the way Paris reaches for Helene's face, casually brushing the back of his fingers against her cheek and through her hair (while commenting on how being this close to her makes his instincts spike with unease), and the moment Helene downs him she does the same exact gesture to him, lifting up his chin and brushing the back of her fingers against his face similarly. Which. Wow. I need more female antagonists to do this shit it is literally so cool to see.

Also the way Helene and Paris constantly are gauging each other is so neat. The way Helene tells Paris to "not long for what he can't have" (i.e. herself) is so neat. The way Paris is clear about his interest in Helene and she in turn matches that interest by toying with him in a way she's done with no one else in the cast is just. there is sooooo much there between them and i greatly enjoy whatever the fuck kind of chemistry it is they share because it is literally the epitome of what i crave in ships

[inqilabi]

Another thing that I have observed over the years is that, not a lot of people are good at relationships. As in they don't know the fundamentals of a good relationship. And with that it follows, that for some people this comes naturally. And for some people this is learned.

A lot of people don't seem to be good at communicating in relationships. Meaning that they will let a thing that bothered them fester until it grows into resentment. And they bring it up once the resentment is bubbling. And obviously, because it's pent up, when do they do bring it up, it's in an explosive manner.

So everyone at some point learns that relationships are about communication. And they tell you this wisdom. But no one actually gives you the details and the formula

Communication is about

1) frequency. So don't let this fester. Bring it up right away

2) type of communication. So positive and the negative. Ie., things that are working but also not working. The positive communication will be, "oh I loved [action], because [what it made you feel]. You are so [the unique attribute about your partner that led to this behaviour]". This is what is going to build connection regularly. Regularly appreciating your partner. And not just in a generic manner. But in an instance specific manner.

Or in the negative "when the [situation/issue], it makes me [feeling], and if this continues to happen i will [feel/consequences]". It doesn't attack the partner and views them an opportunity to rise to meet your needs. And focuses instead on the situation / issue and the effect on you. This is what will maintain the relationship. Prevent it from going down.

3) manner of communication. You should never say "you always do this" "you never do this". That is not an productive way of conveying concern to your partner. That is just attacking them as mentioned in point #2. The person who is being addressed also should listen and not get defensive or criticism. If one person has legitimately brought up a concern, and the other person says "no i don't do that " or "it's not that big of a deal" or "well you did this [unrelated other thing so long ago]", this is a cause for concern. Men often do the latter and imo it's a red flag. A man should be able to listen to your concerns and not feel attacked if you have brought it up in a gentle let's tag-team this issue manner. If a man does get defensive or start criticizing you instead, he has an ego or insecurity problem. Thats one of the things that will chip away at a relationship. Is defensiveness and criticism.

There's other things that maintain relationships like taking interest in your partners interest, when they ask you to look at something or share something with you - then you should take interest. There's many people who might ignore it or outright dismiss it (chips away) or some might simply acknowledge it (maintains), where are some might take an interest and ask you questions on the thing youve shared. Ask you where you learned about it. What you found interesting about it. How it made you feel etc (builds relationships).

Some years ago I wrote a post, which I can't find now. But I found it so surprising in couples that I had observed that a man would so often dismiss his partners attempt to connect. I remember the instance I noticed this - I was at a desi Eid bazaar. And a woman came to her husband who was sitting with their child, giddily told him that she had haggled the price of a cloth down by 20 dollars. And instead of being proud of her and appreciating her, he said something along the lines of "you could have gotten it for 30 off". And I saw the joy disappear from her face. And he chipped away willingly. So bewildering to me that you have an opportunity to connect and build, so easily handed to you - and in so many couples, they reject it. It's like someone offering you a couple of dollars for free in a long-term investment, and you're like - nah thanks I'm good. Maddening!

[multidimensionalguidance]

The Astrology Behind: The 27 Club

We already know the dreadful and looming stories behind this phenomenon that occurs the most within the music and entertainment industry. A great number of deaths and tragic events that seemed to follow gifted individuals as a fated promise.

Although we know that a great majority passed away due to drugs and unhealthy lifestyle choices, there's also some that had unexpected accidents. Now, for those who study astrology and understand that every age activates certain houses/themes this will seem like a very clear pattern.

In terms of house profections, during the age of 27 our 4th house lights up like a lightbulb ready to come through with the lessons and experiences that match the natal planets, lord, sign, ruling nakshatra, and transit planets as well.

When we think of scary and dark periods we tend to associate them with the profections years that match the 8th and 12th house ( 19, 23, 31, 35, and so on) under the assumption that the 4th house is just a cozy corner, yet the overwhelming number of individuals who lose their life around the ages that fall into this house is rather shocking.

The 4th house rules our home, heritage, mother, ancestry, childhood, parents, sense of security, inner life, emotions, happiness, nourishment, etc. These are the topics that come to life during those years, and often times, the ones that leave the strongest mark in our lives.

For most individuals reaching the ages of 15 or 27 arrives with harsh realizations and lessons associated to the lack of emotional and physical security that we might have or feel within ourselves or at home. At 15 we freshly enter the teenage experience of feeling like an outsider at home, as if we don't fit or belong with our family anymore, and as if the innocence of childhood feels long gone. This is where we turn to being a "rebel" and start seeking nourishment outside of what we've been taught within the confinements of home.

By the time we circle back into this house at 27, getting closer to the taste of 30 which is ruled by the 7th house (long term relationships, commitment, others, etc), we start to re-live yet again what "home" and "nourishment" truly feels like for us as adults who are more experienced at life than a 15 year old.

We realize that the perceived freedom of our early 20's was an illusion, and that what has shaped us into who we are by that point was everything we experienced within the privacy of our inner or private world. All the traumas created at home or by our parents. All the overwhelming expectations of what a family of our own might feel like, what long term commitment means to us, and how close or far we are from breaking generational wounds.

All of this can feel maddening and make us isolate from the world into our shells, as if turning into the crustaceans that represent the sign of Cancer. Since the turmoil is associated with our deepest parts, being unable to find a peaceful resolution within our stormy oceans can lead us to drowning within our waters. It makes us forget that right after the storm is when the sun comes out to bring joy, happiness, fun, pleasure, and good fortune (5th house profection). It's a turning point for all of us within our journey.

It comes with no surprise for a lot of celebrities whose private lives and inner world are exposed for everyone to see to be driven towards unhealthy coping mechanisms. A path to self destruction. Now, not all cases are alike and in some scenarios its accidents in their homeland or related to water.

At any case, they are difficult situations which threaten our inner safety and sense of security. It shakes our emotional foundations and forces us to build from scratch a real sense of "I'm safe in my body, mind, and the environment that I cohabit with others". It's all about learning how to regulate ourselves and not allowing our traumas to keep us from the good things life has to offer.

I'll use Amy Winehouse as an example:

Her 4th house was ruled by Leo with her Sun and Mercury in Uttara Phalguni sitting there. She had to relive and experience themes related to her fame, father, talent, children, creative, romance, self expression, and how it all tied to the way she handled her 4th house themes.

Uttara Phalguni in particular usually stands out or feels deeply interested in music, dancing and yoga. Aryaman, the deity of Uttara Phalguni nakshatra, is the god of patronage, union and is considered as the chief amongst the ancestors. They are deeply affected and involved in relationships.

One of the symbols that rules this nakshatra is the back legs of the bed or a platform. I'll focus on the latter simply because most of the time its only people who wield some sort of power or gift who get to stand on a platform of any kind. Additionally, they also tend to deal a lot with the karma of the father, and not always on the positive end of it.

She had battled with addictions to alcohol and other substances her entire life, but it only got progressively worse after she met the man who would eventually become her future husband. It was said that shortly after meeting him her personality changed and she started to indulge in other vices, such as cocaine and crack (which he knowingly admitted to introducing to her).

On top of it, her own father who had a heavy influence on her (as it usually is for 99% of Leo's) wasn't supportive towards her health when she needed it the most. It was the behavior of her parents and their tumultuous marriage that shaped the way she perceived home, safety, and nourishment. This is even more noticeable with the ruler of her 4th house falling sitting in its own house.

It was the lack of support from home and damaging patterns that made her repeat the same generational curses which inevitably lead her to drowning in her own inner world. She clearly used substances as a coping mechanism (like most do). A way to escape reality and attempt to find safety, even if it only led to more pain and disregulation.

By the end, her difficulties on dealing with these themes became even more noticeable after she divorced her husband and went on a downward spiral that didn't even allow her to perform.

Her story, specifically around the last moments, shows us how impactful and difficult 4th house profections can truly be. Alike to other artist or famous individuals, by the end of their lives (27) a lot of those themes appear over and over again until they can no longer bare with them or find a peaceful and healthy resolution.

So, if you're currently going through or about to enter this house profection, just remember to take it slow and practice as much emotional regulation as possible. Go near water bodies to relax. Seek help from individuals who can heal your mind, body, and spirit, be it professionally or not. And finally, remember that you are not your childhood traumas or wounds.

Thanks for reading <3

Check out my services and testimonials for personal readings (plus more).

Xox

Mary from multidimensionalguidance

[vigilskeep]

Wait what’s the dynamic of Alistair and Minerva? Could’ve been lovers but worse actually ? Or something else?

well that really is the question all of ferelden asks itself daily

what alistair and minerva endure together makes them truly inseparably close during most of dao, that kind of forged-under-fire bond. minerva has so much faith in alistair’s protection and loyalty that he’s the only person she really feels safe being publicly affectionate with, and alistair trusted her, thought the world of her as his leader, and followed her anywhere. but the friendship messily explodes when minerva’s political agenda leads her to spare loghain at the landsmeet. which is what i refer to as their platonic divorce

they love each other a lot, and no matter what point the relationship is at, harm to the other would be unbearable to them both. but there were always fault lines in the relationship liable to at some point erupt, major ones including: a) alistair’s history with the templars and certain mindsets he was taught, vs minerva’s lifelong trauma with them that she only during dao even begins to come to terms with. b) minerva does not have the sense of honour or justice alistair assumes is universal among those he considers good, which leads him to wrongfully assume she would draw his same line with loghain without it having to be discussed, and to no longer be able to categorise her as “good” when she suddenly fails his standard. c) she is a manipulative political person who, due to circle mage backstory horrors and growing up as a first enchanter in the making, simply has never been taught and does not believe that individuals getting the lives they want is realistic or necessary or even a requirement of doing right by them. she pushes alistair to take the throne and marry anora to serve her own big-picture goals. he does not have the necessary courage/confidence to stand up for the life he wants, while she fatally simply assumes that he would refuse if it really mattered enough to him (which she literally would have adjusted her plans for with minimal complaining! because she loves him! but because he’s alistair, and also because he loves her, of course he’d never refuse outright what she said was so important. maddening.)

alistair considers loghain to have massacred the only true family he ever had, and minerva not only turns around and spares him but gives him a place in that very family like it’s nothing. alistair abandons minerva at the most public moment, and when she and the world perhaps need him most, in the final battle against the archdemon, he isn’t there. neither of them are really built to be able to overlook what each other did. but the love is still there, as i like to say

post-dao they have a weird painful dynamic in which king alistair continues to give her the cold shoulder while doggedly pursuing the freedom for mages she asked for as her boon from the crown, and minerva, loyal to him to the death, refuses to let slip a scrap of emotion or remorse in his direction because she cannot bear any further damage to her pride. they work together constantly but usually at the distance between denerim and amaranthine rather than seeing each other in person. they’re both very angry, they both miss each other all the time. i like to think that over the years the latter eventually wins out but maybe that’s wishful thinking

because their relationship has the appropriate plot relevance and intensity—friendship always seems too weak a word, and comparisons to siblings useful but not quite right—i do have aus where they are romantic, but i don’t consider those to be “canon”. alistair did flirt once or twice in her playthrough which probably muddies the waters of his feelings a little bit but i don’t think even he took that particularly seriously, he’s just 19-20 and she’s extremely pretty and extremely right there. alistair isn’t really minerva’s type she goes for scoundrels

[midwestmade29]

Wildcard🃏

Hangman's vignette on Collision was very inspiring 😂 Thus this story was born. I miss him and have my fingers crossed so tightly that he really is the wildcard for Dynamite this Wednesday 🤞🏻

Word count: 2.2k Divider by: @saradika-graphics *GIF is not mine. All credit goes to original creator.

Disclaimers: Cursing, unprotected sex. Read at your own discretion.

Written from Hangman's POV 🙂

Hangman's nerves are getting the best of him so he calls on you to help calm them...

It was the night before I would be making my return to AEW as the wildcard. These last few months have been difficult, mostly because I’ve had to learn to live without her.

I knew she would be in Chicago. I knew that despite all the hell I’ve put her through, she wouldn’t miss this big moment. My mind is racing, my anxiety is through the roof of this hotel. I’m pretty sure if I don’t stop pacing, I’m going to be greeting the guests below me soon after my feet burn a hole in this floor.

The whiskey wasn’t helping. Shit, I’ve used that one too many times as a way to numb anything and everything, I’m practically immune to it now. There was only one thing that would calm me down at this point. Only one person who quiets my thoughts and makes me feel whole. I had to see her.

I pulled out my phone and sent Y/N a text, hoping and praying that my gut was right, and she was in fact in Chicago.

•••

I need to see you. Are you here?

To anyone else, the message might be slightly vague, but I knew that she would understand. I sat the phone on the desk and pulled up the rolling chair, just staring at the screen. For 10 minutes, the damn thing only said “delivered.” She hadn’t read the message yet.

I sighed and walked towards the bathroom when my phone dinged and stopped me in my tracks. I damn near tripped over my boots on my way back to the desk in my hurry. My heart was hammering against my chest when I unlocked the screen and went to my texts.

•••

Yes. Marriott next to the arena. Room 3412.

I let out a shaky breath once I realized she was staying in this very hotel. I was on the 37th floor so we weren’t far apart. With my phone placed back in my pocket and my keycard in hand, I walked out of my room to the bank of elevators.

Some higher power had to be messing with me right now. Y/N is only 3 floors below me, but damn is this thing moving slowly. Not to mention the large group of people that got on and off every floor on the way down.

The doors slid open, and I stepped off, looking left and right trying to see which direction I needed to go. With a right then left turn, I was standing outside Y/N’s door.

When she opened it, I swore I saw an angel. She was just as beautiful as the last time I saw her almost 4 months ago. It hurt like hell and felt so good at the same time being in her presence again. I’m just thankful she even agreed to see me.

I entered her room without a word spoken between either of us. I looked around and only saw 1 bed along with 1 suitcase. She was alone. Thank God.

“I know you’re nervous, but the crowd is going to love you, Adam. They’ll be happy to have their cowboy back,” Y/N said softly.

She was leaning against the wall with her arms wrapped around her body, making me wish they were my arms around her instead. This woman knew me better than anyone, hell she knows me better than I know myself. She understands me. She accepts me. She’s always been my missing piece.

“Is it that obvious?” I asked with a nervous laugh. It was comforting and sometimes maddening that she could read me so well.

“Everything will go smoothly, and you’ll get back in the swing of things. You’re a natural. You just have to believe in yourself the way everyone else does Adam. You’ve got this. I know things aren’t ideal right now behind the scenes, but you’ll figure it out. Pick the path you want to go down and don’t look back,”

It felt like I was 20 pounds lighter hearing her words and knowing she still believes in me. I offered her my best smile while I took a moment to let her encouragement sink in. She shocked me when she walked over to me and placed her hand on my cheek. The familiar scent of her started to dance around my nose as I inhaled, it was intoxicating. It still lingered on her pillow in my bed at home.

Her fingers rubbed my beard, making me melt into her touch. Our eyes were on one another as we drank each other in.

“I’m glad the mustache is back to normal by the way. You look more like my-“ Y/N smiled before she stopped herself from saying whatever else she was going to say.

“I look more like your what, Y/N?”

Sadness flashed across her face, but she recovered quickly. She brushed a stray strand of hair away from my face while she answered me.

“My Adam. You look more like my Adam now,”

Y/N looked up at me, waiting for me to make the next move. I could tell she was afraid she had said too much, but she said everything I wanted, needed to hear. I leaned down and kissed her. I kissed her hard and I kissed her good. She tasted so fucking sweet as I slid my tongue in between her lips, savoring every second of this moment. God, I missed this. I missed her.

When I broke the kiss, her lips were already a little swollen. She tried to catch her breath as I kissed her jawline down to her neck, nipping and sucking until I found that sweet spot that made her come alive for me. My cock twitched in my jeans when she let out a breathy moan, letting me know I found my target.

I stole the moan right out of her mouth when I kissed her lips again, swallowing the sound whole and eating it up. Her fingers worked quickly to undo the buttons on my shirt, and when she slid it down my arms, the fire blazing in her eyes threatened to set the entire room on fire. Her fingertips traced along the lines of my chest, lightly grazing the scars that were scattered on the skin there before kissing them softly.

I tried my best to let her have the lead, at least for now but my resolve was fading the longer she looked at me with those lust blown eyes. Y/N unbuckled my belt, then the button and zipper before helping me shimmy my jeans down my legs and to the floor. She drug her nails gently up my thighs to my hips and up my chest, causing a shiver to run through me. She snaked her arms around my neck and splayed her fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck.

I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist as I carried her over to the bed. The feeling of her pressing against my hard cock through my underwear was so good and torturous at the same time. I needed her. I needed this. We needed each other.

I laid her down on the bed gently, my lips finding hers once more. She arched her back and lifted herself slightly as I pulled her shirt up to remove it, revealing her bare breast underneath. Y/N is perfect. She’s the epitome of all things good and beautiful.

“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen Y/N. Every inch of you is divine. I can never get enough of you,” I whispered as I made my way down her torso.

I made a trail with my lips and tongue until I reached the hem of her pants. I hooked my fingers underneath the band and tugged while she lifted her ass off the bed to let me pull them off. Her underwear was next and ended up in the pile on the floor with our other discarded clothes. Y/N watched me intently as I spread her legs wide and positioned myself in between them.

“I’ve tasted your lips, but now I want to taste the rest of you sweetheart. Let me pleasure you, take what you need from my mouth. I don’t plan on stopping until I hear you cum,”

The gasp she let out the second I dove in made me stiffen even more. My boxers were feeling tighter and tighter with each minute that passed.

Every swipe and flick of my tongue against her clit was bringing her closer and closer to her release. I licked and lapped around her while I pumped my fingers in and out of her. Her moans were sugary sweet and satisfying, I couldn’t help but groan against her sensitive bud. Y/N intertwined her fingers in my hair, lightly pulling and tugging while her hips bucked and pressed herself even more against my tongue.

I wrapped my arms around her thighs when she finally came, holding her in place as I licked and sucked her through her release. She squirmed and moaned as each tremor wracked her body. I placed a kiss on her inner thigh before sitting up and pulling her to me. Our centers collided, making us both blow out a rush of air as my cock slid around her wet folds.

I refrained from pushing myself all the way into her. I wanted to draw things out as long as I could before we couldn’t take it anymore. My mouth took in one of her nipples while my hand played with the other.  My teeth grazed the pink bud, my tongue following afterwards before I sucked it into my mouth and released it. I kissed my way over to her other stiff peak, taking it into my mouth to continue my teasing.

“A-Adam please. I want you; I need to feel all of you. Please,” Y/N’s plea was nothing more than a breathy murmur.

She was ready for me, and I was so ready for her. I reached between our bodies and lined myself up with her entrance, my breath catching in my throat as the head of my cock rested against the soft inner lining of her pussy. If I could bottle this feeling up, I would so I could enjoy it any time I wanted to.

My forearms supported most of my weight as I inched myself inside of her. Y/N felt incredible, so tight and so warm against me.  So wet and so perfect for me. Her walls stretched around me, eventually giving me full access and allowing me to be fully sheathed. I started moving against her slowly at first before increasing my speed.

Our bodies worked together in perfect harmony as we both chased euphoria. Y/N dug her nails into my back whenever I hit her sweet spot, her eyes fluttered closed when I leaned down and kissed her neck. We were both panting and sweaty and so completely lost in each other.

“Darlin, you’ve been so good for me. So, fucking good. I can feel how close you are. Let yourself go sweetheart,” I whispered against the shell of her ear.

Y/N pressed her heels into my ass, bringing us even closer together as I continued thrusting, much deeper now. I felt her flutter around my cock, and I knew she was done for. I watched as the most incredible woman I’ve ever known fell apart beneath me. Her lips parted and her sweet voice cried out my name. Her legs twitched and her cheeks flushed while her body absorbed every ounce of pleasure her orgasm brought.

I’ve never wanted time to stand still as badly as I do right now. Y/N completely blissed out and me seconds behind her. Both of us so fucking high off one another we may never come back down from it. My release detonated, wave after wave of satisfaction crashed against every part of me as I thrusted erratically. I grunted into Y/N’s chest as each rope of my cum filled her until I had nothing left.

It was minutes before I could bring myself to pull out of her. Part of it was because it just felt so damn good being inside of her, but the other part was because I wasn’t sure what would happen between us next. I couldn’t help but feel sentimental during this intimate moment, my thoughts and feelings threatened to drown me when they came flooding back into my mind.

Once I was lying on my back with Y/N resting her head on my chest, she worked her magic again. The warmth of her skin against mine mixed with the feeling of being completely sated, she put an end to my thoughts and worries. The noise in my head was now quiet. She did all this without even trying!

Not long after I pulled the covers over both of us, we fell into a peaceful sleep. I held her through most of the night before we repositioned, and our limbs ended up tangled together. There’s no way for me to ever thank her properly for all that she’s done for me and continues to do. I know I’ll spend the rest of forever trying my best to show her just how grateful I really am. Months ago I made the biggest mistake of my life letting her go. Tonight felt like a second chance, a fresh start. I had to do whatever I could to make her mine again.

[battleangel]

A History of Violence

I wonder if Kris Jenkins who was recently drafted in the second round by the Bengals, same name & same position as his father who was a Pro Bowler who played 10 seasons for the Panthers, Patriots & Jets, ever bothered to read what his father told the New York Times in 2011 about what it was like playing in the trenches in the NFL?

Kris Jenkins - View of Life in the NFL Trenches

Article Excerpt

"N.F.L. fans, people outside, they have no clue what goes on. This isn’t like playing Madden. This isn’t like being the popular kid in high school. When you do those things in the real world, and it don’t work out, you still have your health. The thing about football is you’re directly playing with your life, the quality of it and the longevity of it. The stakes are up there.

You ever been in a car crash? Done bumper cars? You know when that hit catches you off guard and jolts you, and you’re like, what the hell? Football is like that. But 10 times worse. It’s hell."

Nothing is questioned, nothing is learned.

Cycle and history of violence from father to son continues.

The son will just repeat everything his father went through.

Life in the trenches, on the line.

His fathers New York Times article was only written 13 years ago — did his son even bother to read it?

Article:

"The debate about concussions wasn’t there yet. I’ve had more than 10, including college and the pros. Nobody cared. And that’s the thing. We play football."

Are we as an audience, as fans, as a nation of football loving fanatics so blasé about the same violence that was visited upon the father being visited upon his son?

Does that not even get us to collectively pause before checking pre-season match ups in preparation for Week 1 next month?

America's collective Christmas in September — footballs back!!!!!!!

Do actual thoughts ever creep in amongst the unbridled ebullience, enthusiasm and unchecked joy of, "Football!!!!!!!!!!!!".

Or is the unthinking emotion inherent in football fanaticism across all levels, players and non-players alike, the point?

The pure emotion and the short circuiting of logic.

Its probably not a great idea for me to go bash my head against that dudes head 70 to 80 times a game, every game, every season.

But, its football!!!!!!!!!

So, nothing else matters?

Unlike rules now protecting quarterbacks and other positions from helmet to helmet hits, absolutely nothing has changed for offensive & defensive linemen and running backs — you're still smashing yourself head first into a concrete wall — as a running back, 20 to 30 times a game and as a lineman, 70 to 80 times a game.

No matter how much the NFL lies about this and tries to pretend the issue is concussions, its not — the existential issue threatening the sport of football itself is the repetitive SUBconcussive head impacts involved in every blocking and tackling play in football.

They are absolutely unavoidable and occur literally over a thousand times every single season.

It is these repetitive subconcussive head impacts — average 1500 hits to the head per season in high school, football & the pros — that 10 to 15 years after their playing careers are over, can cause neurological disorders and conditions like CTE, Parkinsons disease, Alzheimers disease, ALS and dementia in former players.

We have seen the movie before.

Im pretty sure Will Smith was in it.

And even that movie was nothing but masterful subterfuge from the NFL as they named it as their eternal smokescreen — Concussion — instead of what actually turned Mike Websters brain into CTE mush — Repetitive Subconcussive Head Impacts.

Doesn't have the same Hollywood ring to it, does it?

But it doesn't make it any less true or the NFL any less deceptive.

The NFL's own disability paperwork for former players says players can be compensated as early as 36 for early-onset dementia.

Is a game really worth someone losing their literal mind at 36?

When do we question the every day violence inherent in every tackling and blocking play in football?

Article:

"I remember one game, at Carolina, my second year. We played Arizona, and the double team weighed 780 pounds combined. They just kept double-teaming me, hoping I would fold and cave in. I didn’t. But that was probably the most painful day I had.

From the double teams, over the years, I wore the left side of my body down. I was past hurt.

I was at the point of numb. Like my body was shutting down nervous systems, so I didn’t have to deal with pain.

The numbness started at the very beginning. I couldn’t feel part of both arms. I couldn’t feel part of both legs. It was worse on the left.

I’m just starting to get feeling back in my left side. Look, football is no joke.

But I’m going to say this much: somebody has to be the grunt. That’s why there’s no better position on the field than interior defensive line. Forget quarterbacks or specialists. They’ve got it easy. If we don’t come to play, nobody else on defense can do their job. We’ve got the toughest job on the field. We don’t care about our facial hair. We play a grimy position.

Piles, oh, my God, they’re brutal. I’ve had my ankles twisted. I’ve been bit. I’ve done stuff. I’ve tried to break guys’ elbows, pinching people, twisting ankles, trying to bend up their arms, pop an elbow out. Why? I had to fight back."

Tackle football is cognitive dissonance & constant dissociation.

The inherent violence of football is never seriously questioned nor is it held up under a critical lens.

The most violent, punishing plays are casually dismissed post-game by players waving their hands and saying, "It was just a football play."

Yeah — thats actually the exact problem.

Ah, pile ups. Just a good old fashioned rugby scrum.

Nothing dehumanizing, nothing to worry about.

As long as its not my dick being grabbed at the bottom of a pile as I dig my way through my second bag of Fritos Scoops, safe and secure on my couch, while those dumb fucks kill themselves for an oblong shaped ball for my entertainment.

Exploitative, much?

The spectacle of the pile up.

The brainwashing so clearly evident when grown adult men who would be ashamed to act this way publicly over anything else suddenly leap in unison into the air like feral animals as Troy Aikman shouts with unfettered glee, "The ball is loose!!!!!!".

So is our collective humanity in watching a several ton mass of flesh undulate, eye gouge, scrotum twist, bite, spit and hurt each other for...what?

Us? Them? Football?

Article:

"Mentally, we’re conditioned to be tough. We’re conditioned to feel no pain. The only injury I ever felt while playing was when one of my knees tore. That’s the only time I felt pain and was like, O.K., that hurt.

But Mondays, you wake up, and it’s hard to get out of bed. It hurts wherever you got hit. I remember one time getting hit by Edgerrin James. He put his head in my chest. I woke up, and I couldn’t even move, because it felt like my chest was going to collapse. It was sore for days. All you want to do is get the blood circulating.

Hot tub. Cold tub. Hot tub. Cold tub."

Hot tub. Cold tub. Hot tub. Cold tub.

That's brainwashing.

A dissociative brainwashing ritual to dissociate the self from the pain & violence of the game.

It's like Junior Seau when he referred to himself in third person when he was mic'd up for NFL Films before every single hit for the duration of an entire game.

Very creepy if you can find it on youtube.

It literally sounded like he was programming himself to hit, then he would hit the hole, collect himself on the ground and do it.

Hard. Goddamned hard.

Again. And again. And again. And again.

If thats not brainwashing, what is?

Article:

"The brain fog? It still hasn’t stopped. It feels like you’re punch-drunk, like someone hit you over the head. It’s like you knock yourself stupid. When you have to concentrate on things, then it becomes an issue. My head gets foggy to the point where I really can’t function."

And yet you put a helmet on your son's head and you sent him out to play the same position.

Like father, like son.

Just like fathers in the military who have sons who "follow in their footsteps".

Often, articles will speak of a newly drafted player's heritage and lineage in the sport and if his father had a storied career, the hyperbole of the newly drafted son "being born to play" is routinely trotted out.

Smacks of eugenicism, genetic determinism, militarism, rigid heirarchies, dynasties.

Capitalist masculine toxicity.

Article:

"We know it’s going to hurt. We know because pain in football is consistent over time. You’re still hurting in the off-season. You’re hurting when the next season starts.

I mean, guys play hurt, but it’s a choice. They do a pretty good job now, with all the scrutiny around concussions.

On the line, it’s still painful. By the end of the year, half an offensive line might be getting shots, draining fluid from their knees. Most stay away from cortisone now, because it’s degenerative.

Everything gets off center. Bulging disk. Herniated disk. For linemen, it starts in the lower back. Throws everything off."

What did Jason Kelce recently say on his podcast with his wife?

His back is so fucked up from playing football that he cant bend down to pick up his 1 year old daughter nor can he hold her while standing.

Kelce also played on the line as the center for the Eagles.

Is it worth it?

Should children be playing this game?

Should anyone in its current incarnation?

Has science shown that the risk of repetitive subconcussive head impacts causing neurological conditions & disorders is too high for any child to assume?

What about teenagers in high school who are legally minors and not adults?

Should they be able to assume risks as teenagers that can mentally incapacitate them later in life as soon as their 30s?

Potential suicide due to CTE in their 20s?

1500 hits per season every season starting in high school.

So, that's 6k hits to the head in four years of high school football.

Another 6k more hits to the head in four years of college football.

12k hits to the head before the pros not counting youth football prior to high school which is ages 5 to 14 aka Pop Warner.

Even 5 year olds endure on average 336 hits to the head every season in Pop Warner.

5 year olds!

Kindergartners!

Ask yourself where else you could hit a 5 year old child 336 times in the head over the course of a few months without being arrested and jailed?

Is it really okay just because it's football?

Does that truly justify that amount of head impacts to a 5 year old child?

Wouldn't we call that abuse if it was happening in the Boy Scouts or any organization other than Pop Warner?

Should it be happening at all?

In service of whom and for what?

Football? Glory? Masculinity? Manhood? America? Pride? Militarism?

All of the above?

Article:

"I can’t blame anybody for my death. I made the choice to play football. I made the choice to walk through the concussions. I could have stopped. I could have said, my head hurts. It was my choice, as a man."

But who told you that playing through permanent brain injuries is what makes you a man?

Can't we blame that person?

Your father and your coaches from youth, high school, college all the way to the pros?

Militaristic views of masculinity kills boys and young men for the game of football.

It's a militaristic war game that simulates combat yet kills people in slow motion for real.

The violence suffered by players in football is as celebrated as militaristic ideals of what soldiers suffer through in war: valor, courage under fire, physical courage, endurance, stoically fighting through unimaginable injuries & pain, the quarterback heroically leading his squad as their captain marching his troops down the field to victory just like any military commander complete with a chevron like system that awards stars for each year or season of service very similar to how stripes function in the military.

This militaristic ideal of masculinity is endlessly promoted, encouraged, rewarded and valorized in football just as it is in the military.

Football is Americas killing fields.

High school players — teenaged boys, not adult men — die every year playing football.

Over a million boys play high school football each year and only a handful die or suffer permanent, disabling and/or catastrophic injury.

Would you be so glib about the numbers though if it was your son or your brother or your boyfriend or your best friend who died playing high school football?

What if they were permanently paralyzed from the neck down playing college football?

It's easy to treat the above numbers as a statistic or rounding error when you can close out of the Facebook support page for the now dead or disabled high school or college player and get ready for Chiefs/Ravens next month.

What if you couldn't just X out of the Facebook page because you had to quit your job to take care of your disabled son for the rest of your life?

Or what if your brother killed himself from having CTE from playing college football?

The reality is, we can drop a "sad crying" emoji on a Facebook status and move on — the families of the young boys and men sacrificed to this sport definitely can't.

Go ask Tyler Sash's mom if she's "moved on".

Hasn't science proven at this point that tackle football just doesnt work the way it is currently played?

Why are we okay risking future Junior Seaus, Mike Websters, Justin Strelczyks, Phillip Adams, Tyler Hillinskis with every boy and young man that straps on the pads and helmet and charges on to the field?

Is it 10% of players that get CTE? Is it 20%?

Is it more? Is it half?

More than half?

The truth is we wont know until a CTE test is developed for living players.

Pop Warners Chief Medical Director is working with the FDA to develop the test as I type this.

Why do you think that is?

The NFL's own study funded through a university admits that NFL players are 19 times more likely than non-NFL players to develop neurological conditions and disorders.

19 times!!!!!

As long as its not your brain getting scrambled right?

And you can just sit there and watch the leagues reigning back to back MVP and reigning Super Bowl Champ slowly deteriorate their minds while accumulating permanent brain damage for your entertainment.

Pass the chips.

Article:

"We consider football a gladiator sport because we understand you’re going to get hurt. You’re putting your life on the line.

You might not die now, like in an old Roman arena, but 5, 10 years down the road, you could. You know that.

I wouldn’t change anything.

During my career, I kept my mouth shut. This now, speaking out, it’s about telling you my life. There’s no agenda, no vendetta. This is what football’s really like.

The first warning is the first meeting you have with an agent, when you realize this is real. My choices count at this point. I’m going to be prostituting myself for the next 18 years of my life.

That’s the first warning.

The next one is that good old combine.

That’s when you realize, when you march in that room half naked, I’m a number now."

No, thats when you realize that the NFL is MODERN DAY SLAVERY.

It's a modern day meat market.

6% of the US population is Black male. 75% of the NFL is Black.

0% of the owners are Black. Only 2 out of 32 coaches are Black.

Almost all of the NFL owners are white with very few exceptions and exactly none of them are Black.

The NFL is a modern day plantation.

Article:

"I loved New York. I loved playing there. I loved the spotlight. I was fine in New York, but I also played for Eric Mangini. We started 8-3, Brett Favre, all of that. Everybody told Mangini, stop with the long practices, you’re killing us. You practice too hard. We’re on turf."

36% of all injuries that occur in the NFL are due to turf & 1/4 of all concussions are a result of players heads slamming against turf.

So...

Why won't the NFL replace turf with grass in their stadiums as the NFLPA has been asking for for years?

Because they're cheap as hell and would rather injure their own investments then pay for grass.

The owners & the league have the same exact disregard and disdain for their own players.

The NFL has agreed to switch out turf for grass for the World Cup because the soccer players refused to do what NFL players are forced to — fuck their bodies up on turf.

It proves the NFL and owners could do it and, in fact, they did do it so they could host the World Cup in their football stadium — unless it's actually for the players in their own league.

In that case, you're shit out of luck.

Should have played soccer.

Article:

"What you hear from guys like Ray Lewis, James Harrison, what they’re saying is we’re well aware what we’re signing up for. The violence, we love it. The madness, we love it. We love measuring ourselves in it.

Those guys express themselves with their pads. You soften the game, you’re taking away their freedom of expression. Nobody wants to see flag football, and now, you might as well give guys flags, tell them to hug afterward, all that."

Did he even read the beginning of his own article???

Constant cognitive dissonance is the distillation & essence of tackle football — by the players, the audience, coaches, trainers, medical personnel, announce team, play by play, color, pre-game & post-game hosts, team & network journalists.

I see no repetitive head impacts causing CTE.

I hear no repetitive head impacts causing CTE.

I speak no repetitive head impacts causing CTE.

Article:

"The violence is what I remember. Like against Buffalo in 2009, when I had the game of my career. Or the time I slapped a lineman out of the way in Houston with one arm. Winning, the physical part, the mayhem, finding the line between insanity and sanity, that’s the exact reason why you play. That’s the reason fans like football in the first place.

A guy like James Harrison, he’s possessed, and that’s the guy you love to play with, love to watch. He doesn’t need to be babied."

Protection from permanent brain damage & trauma, fans bloodlust, coaches unreasonable demands, neurological disorders & conditions, neurological symptoms including suicidality, depression, memory loss, confusion, irritability, volatility, aggression, amnesia, mental incapicitation, deteroriation & decline is being "babied"??????????

Article:

"The N.F.L. is too big to fail. If that happened, it would be a slow death. It’s still the ultimate game. For us, it’s like legal prison rules. You have to protect your manhood, your well-being. You’re going to be challenged. You’re going to be tested."

"You have to protect your manhood."

Protect The Shield.

Brainwashed into the cult of American masculinity.

Just like all the other 2.6 million young boys & adolescents playing youth football.

Another million playing in high school.

100k playing in NCAA college football.

1600 play in the NFL.

All brainwashed into the cult of masculinity.

Millions of young boys and teenagers sacrificed on the altar of tackle football, Americas true religion.

Article:

"There aren’t too many places a 400-pound guy with an attitude can go and beat the crap out of somebody and not get locked up for it. I have a violent streak. I have to fight it out of my system. We signed up for it. All of it. We’re not trying to be sane or rational."

What does an 8 year old playing tackle football for Pop Warner sign up for?

Tradition, rigid authoritarianism, toxic masculinity, ideals of manhood worth sacrificing your body, mind, memories, personality, self and literal life for.

A 13 year old football player committed suicide after an egregious hit and post concussion symptoms that lasted for over a year in 2018.

He played through the hit and practiced in pads the very next day — think that might have made his concussion worse?

Prior to the hit, he was a straight A student, a voracious reader, erudite, sociable & well-liked.

After the hit, he became withdrawn.

He lost vision in one eye. He lost his balance frequently.

He was unable to read for more than a few minutes at a time.

He started tackle football at 9.

He played two ways as a linebacker and running back and was known as a ferocious hitter who never complained of pain.

He attempted suicide, was hospitalized, seemed to be improving, then the second suicide attempt was tragically successful.

Dead at 13 for the sport of football.

When is enough enough?

Football is a game, it's a magical talisman, it's a sport, it's a crucible, it's a maker of men, it's the distillation of manhood and masculinity, it's what being a man is.

It's worth bashing and battering your brains repeatedly.

It's worth your mind.

It's worth not knowing who you are at 50.

It's worth you committing suicide.

Just remember to shoot yourself in the chest so your brain can be donated and studied.

[firthbetterorfirthworse]

Pride & Prejudice: A New Musical (2020)

god help me, I am on my knees

I adored this. It was a delight. Did they change things? Of course, once again proving that my heart is a fickle creature; changing things is terrible and insulting unless of course, I happen to like the change, in which case it is unique and commendable and wonderful.

Occasionally I come across a show that makes me wish I was rich enough to fund a vanity project solely so I can perform in it, and this was one of those.

In the US, this is currently on Tubi which is a free service and I am extremely grateful for it.

Mary and Jane are given lines that make us laugh for very different reasons, in character, which I adore. For instance, Mary is the one who announces where each scene is taking place, and gets more annoyed that it's her job as the show goes on.

There's an adorable duet with Bingley and Jane about the things they would say, if they weren't so shy. This Bingley is so shy he becomes tongue-tied, which is not the usual depiction of gregarious Bingley but I feel is still true to the heart of Bingley's character.

Caroline gives the best sign-offs to her letters, "yours ever, Caroline Bingleyyyyyyyy" in the flattest affect possible. It's passive aggressive and beautiful.

The banter between Darcy and Elizabeth is at Netherfield is so quick, which I really appreciate - makes it seem more like a quarrel, and leads to this beautiful perfect moment that is what introduced me to the show. If all you watch of it is this 20 seconds, it's worth it:

Darcy's songs are more of a pop vibe than I would have expected, but Justin Mortelliti rocks it so well I love it anyway.

There's a fantastic Collins song where all the Bennet ladies are lined up and he's singing about picking who will have the honor of his hand, and the Bennets are singing a counterpoint that is essentially oh please no don't pick me. And Elizabeth gets a fun, fairly comedic refusal song.

Lady Catherine gets a surprisingly almost jazzy song, with a chorus of servants talking about how grateful they are for her advice. At one point she makes a rebuttal and Darcy guffaws loudly until he abruptly slaps his hand over his mouth.

If you don't know the rules of musical theatre, when the emotion becomes too much for words, song breaks out, which means Elizabeth starts singing during her refusal of the proposal scene (love). This Darcy actually opens his mouth to defend himself, but Elizabeth refuses to listen. Leading to an amazing line in the next scene "I've written you a letter - since clearly I found 'speaking' far too challenging." (Also, the bitter Darcy song after her rejection? yes please. Fuckin' Broadway tenors and their ridiculous range, man, sure just pop those high notes and make my soul thrill that's fine I didn't need to have equilibrium today)

Jane has a beautiful song and reprise about how she's definitely not going to think about Bingley any more.

Cute scene where they run into each other at Pemberley. This Darcy spies Elizabeth and sneaks up on her, which is fun.

Did I become immediately obsessed with Darcy's song "The World She Lives In" where Darcy sings about how he's a better man because of Elizabeth, and listen to it on repeat? Yes, yes I did.

There's a fantastic song about being ruined that really captures the despair a lot of movies can't.

When Bingley and Darcy return to Longbourn at the end, Bingley is so shy he can't speak. He sings about what he would say, but in reality says nothing. It's comedic and wonderful.

And the writers love us - they really love us! - they gave us a scene of Darcy rehearsing what he's going to say to Elizabeth and despairing at his inability to speak in her presence: "Miss Bennet, how good it is to see you again...........and after that I'm blank. Maddening."

Of course it's all happily ever after and I may or may not have watched it twice before even posting this. And then someone showed me a list of other P&P musicals, which I will now be watching ALL OF because I love both of those things and them converging delight me beyond reason.

Anyway. Go watch it. Just watching this made up for watching all those hallmark movies. Joy.

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog: Wakfu Season 1 (episode 20, The Tree of Life)

I like to think he was looking for any sign of Armand being a sussy baka, or, alternatively, Armand being actually worried about the things he's been told.

Sadly, Joris finds neither.

I like to think that Joris and Amalia&Eva have a good pre-established relationship for the following reason: it's shown to be good enough for him to get onto the balcony and for them to be immediately happy about it, instead of going "what the hell are you doing here?" or "were you spying on us? (he was. even if it is for the good of the world.)"

Maybe that's another reason Armand hates him — besides Joris insisting on the instructions that were given to him and not bowing down to Armand's ~power~ — Joris may be a yet another person who likes his sister more.

Btw Joris is doing batshit insane tower climbing again, just like in the Ush comic.

Never change, king.

Get ready for my deep, deep, insightful commentary into what the fact that Joris believes that no issue is insolvable implies within the context of his "has seen countless human deaths" life:

I think I hauve covid.

Do you think one of the solutions that he has for issues is to wait it out and watch, as the walls of the prison that are "circumstances of life", start to decay?

Translation from politespeak: "I am going to cause a political incident with your cringe brother to help you tell your father about Nox's plans."

I love how ready he is to beat people up. And to cause a political incident.

Joris after getting down from the balcony railing, now suddenly very much below everyone in the room, in a matter of fact voice: After I slam the tree stump on the floor to create a loud sound, — and probably damage said floor, sorry, — you are going to scream that the iop returned. I will keep hitting random things until they run in. When the guards do run in, I beat them to unconsciousness with my magic wand. You can also hit them if you want, — yes, yes, you can use the candelabra, or any other metal object in the room, — but do not hit them on the head without me! It's very easy to accidentally kill a person, when you're not used to beating them to unconscious on a relatively regular basis.

Bugs when you lift a rock.

God knows, Joris is extremely aware of how bad the thing he just did is, and how much trouble he'll be in afterwards. God also knows that Joris probably doesn't give a shit.

The little slam... The commanding voice... He's everything.

When Joris is this polite, he is either angry as fuck and can't do anything about it, or angry as fuck and about to beat you to death.

This little "I insist" is so uncalled-for. He's just mocking them at this point, considering what he is about to do.

Something I really noticed this time around, is that Joris really likes kicking things. He kicked Pinpin, he kicked these guys... This is a trait he gets from Kerubim, sure, but he takes kickmaxxing to another level by, very cockily, doing half this battle with his hands behind his back on a simple whim.

He is the same exact type of an insane, prideful asshole as Kerubim. It maddens me when people think he's actually humble and normal just because of his introversion and more low-key facade.

He may not scream "I'm smarter and better and stronger than every loser in this room" outwardly like his father, but exudes the same exact noxious aura nonetheless.

You know why I also think Joris thinks of Amalia and Eva well?

He put this little show on, — fighting two simple guards with pirouettes, hands behind his back, and a little touch of magic, — just for them. We know what he actually fights like when he means it. And it has none of this insanity.

You see, he points out his ability to fight off an army of simple, normal people, all alone. And on one hand it's just reassuring Eva and Amalia that they have nothing to fear...

...and on the other hand, it makes me think he likes it when random teenagers think he's cool and awesome.

Even though this blog is crepinjurgen-focused, I want to say that this is one of my favorite wakfu episodes. This scene always makes me tear up.

Anyway do you think Joris just carries with him ropes to tie enemies with whenever he goes — or did he take a rope from somewhere within the castle? How often does this happen? Does he do this as a torture method too? Does he—- [I am removed by the secret police by being way too insane today]

Still using vous, despite hating his ass.

[guy who made a blog that's 33% dedicated to talking about doomed siblings] Yeah it's so sad that even Tot doesn't understand Clephee's potential, and how insane her relationship with Eva is. Imagine loving your sibling, but they never feel good enough, and they keep leaving you. They turn everything into competition, never celebrate your wins because they feel like their losses. Imagine speaking so little — being so distant, that when you have a happy dream of that sibling, it's them as a child, way back before. And imagine that this sibling wants to turn you into a fur coat— [I am electrocuted]FHDSJHDFJKsdhfsdhfERR-

There are so many people unconscious and Joris is actually freaking the fuck out, which makes me think that, for the past 10-20 minutes in-universe, he and Armand have been doing the Joris whack-a-mole thing.

Like, Joris is actually alarmed/bewildered by the fact that Armand will literally not listen to a single fucking word and just keeps mindlessly punching the floor.

Is he insane? Is he for real?

At this point, he's worried for the guy's health. This has been happening for a while. He sounds scared.

Like Armand keeps hurting himself in his attempts to beat Joris up and it's scaring Joris shitless because it's actually starting to get a little bit weird and off-putting.

Yet he turns around so nonchalantly.

[chirpthingz]

my "essay" on why I don't think kian's plan would amount to anything:

with sources!

spoilers for desconjuracao ep. 20 & calamidade below

my problem with kian's plan isn't that i think it wouldn't work, i just don't think he's capable of achieving it. now, just as a refresher:

kian's plan is referred to as the calamity. his goal is to sever the connection between reality and the other side, destroying it. to achieve this, he must kill anyone with knowledge of the paranormal and destroy the relics. (source)

this is a perfectly reasonable plan that, based on how the other side functions, could work. (source). if i remember correctly, cellbit even confirmed it would work (i can't remember where i heard this, so i may be wrong). and on that note, kian is insanely powerful. he is:

immortal, can move shit with his mind (to an extent), can teleport pretty much anywhere he wants, has a decent amount of followers, can weaken rituals in an area, and has two rituals that essentially insta-kill someone (as far as we are aware), is scarily clever, knows everything about the other side, is 4000+ years old (technically), cannot be caught by surprise, and possesses superhuman strength + agility. (source)

at a first glance, he seems more than capable. he has the highest marcado (player) kill count (5) in the series, and is referred to as the damn god of knowledge by his followers. (source).

but he is not a god, he is not a relic, and there are factors i feel he has not considered.

The amount of people he would have to kill is too high.

kian intends to kill everyone with knowledge of the paranormal. of known living characters, this includes 18 player characters, 4 relics, 25 ordem agentes (not including pcs), 5 members of the leone family (excluding carina), 8 hell hunters, 17 members of the obscurite (excluding yuki & dominic), 1 escripta (not including gal), 6 known ordem prisoners, 1 colosseum employee, cassiano/hugo/eduarda/tim, the 15 surviving members of tipora (excluding amelie & oliver), 2 panacea employees, emilia, donisvaldo (don), mandy/vicente, and a number of npcs whose whereabouts are unknown. this adds up to at least 109 relevant characters. (source). of course, this is not counting the amount of people we don't know about. think about all the other organizations & governments out there. think about how many odd groups like os cinco are out there. think about the mask sect, the host production, the luzidios. furthermore, it is not unreasonable to assume the population of the world that ordem is set in is similar to ours. currently, we are sitting at nearly 8 billion. any amount of those 8 billion could have some knowledge about the paranormal. without a doubt, those people amount to at least a couple hundred thousands. even if we were to even out the playing field and pretend that kian's escriptas were still alive, the ratio of escriptas to people he needs to kill is maddening.

2. Kian is not all-knowing.

"kian sabe, kian sabe-" no he doesn't. he knows about the other side, but that only gets him so far. he could not locate the order base (source) (it is important to note that the order had the help of a relic in hiding themselves) nor stop them when they arrived in italy, he had to rely on clarissa. (source). furthermore, he had no idea about god's diary- the one thing that could stop him. (source). the world is enormous. to be as brief as possible: there is too much ground for him to cover. he can also not account for recorded information. there is no feasible way he can look through every archive, every website, every library, etc. information about the paranormal will survive and he might never know about it. on that note, he cannot possible know where all of his targets are at once, and he cannot get to all of them fast enough before some of them realize they need to hide. this brings me to my next point.

3. It would take him too long to accomplish his goal.

kian is currently immortal. (source). he has all the time in the world. no rush, right? wrong. thinking back to the insanely large amount of people he needs to kill, which assumedly totals up to at least hundreds of thousands of people. it would take him ages to kill them all. even if he did have escriptas helping him, it would take multiple decades at a minimum. the longer he takes, the more time someone else has to stumble upon the paranormal. the number of people he needs to kill is not a fixed rate, it is constantly increasing. if we take into account the rapid spread of news and information because of digital spaces, it's not unreasonable to think that it's increasingly rapidly. this also gives other people more time to figure out how to stop him, which is obviously dangerous to his cause. he cannot reasonable kill people at a fast enough rate to make rapid progress, at least not if he wants to prevent my next point from becoming true

4. Enacting his plan would weaken the membrane.

the membrane that separates reality from the other side can be weakened by fear. entities from the other side use this fear as a bride to physically manifest in reality. (source). kian does not have the time (as explained above), nor the money, nor the resources to ensure every death is untraceable. the amount of people he needs to kill will draw attention, especially when it isn't unreasonable to think that government officials are aware of the paranormal to an extent (for example, verissimo himself comments that the order is partially supported by political allies). it's also important to note the sheer amount of people that will die. to an outside perspective, large amounts of people globally will die or go missing with little public explanations or connections. this will undoubtedly cause mass panic. panicked people become paranoid, and then scared, and then the membrane begins to weaken. this means more opportunities for the other side to manifest into reality, therefore making more people aware of the paranormal. it is completely unavoidable, and (from his perspective) frustratingly counter-active to his plan.

naturally, we do not know the true extent of kian's strength. up to this point, he really has not made any attempts of truly trying to enact his plan; instead he focuses on stopping the people in his way (which, if he continues to focus on such matters, he will never get around to actually bringing about the calamity).

there is also the argument that he may have access to relics. this is addressed by the magistrate in calamity episode 8:

the magistrate informs equipe abutres that if the mask of despair (relic of knowledge) were to be destroyed, kian would possibly control destiny itself. (source).

it can only be assumed that similar consequences would occur should the other relics be destroyed. however, for him to actually destroy the relics, he would have to acquire them first. this is where I believe he meets a significant wall.

the relics do not appear to get along. or at the very least, their differences drive them apart. (source). this does not mean they cannot make agreements. the devil and the host appeared to have no problems with each other in the ordo calamitas base, and the host and magistrate let equipe abutres decide who to side with even though they knew it would end in one of their "deaths" (even if they argued about it the entire time).

most importantly, they all desired to stop kian. this is because, very obviously, they do not want to be barred from reality. and even more importantly, they are very, very powerful.

but the relics of knowledge and energy do not have wielders, leaving it up to the god of death and the devil (unless someone decides to become the new magistrate or host), which brings me to my final topic.

the devil and the god of death are not going to help kian. the strongest counter-argument to this entire essay is that with the help of the devil, kian could easily realize the calamity. with the devil appearing to offer a pact to an imprisoned kian, this reality doesn't seem to far away. yet, there is no logical sense behind this idea. the devil can only lose if kian accomplishes his goal, and kian will not stop until he has destroyed all the relics. they may temporarily work together, but it is a fragile alliance. at some point, the devil must try to stop him. the god of death has only appeared twice, both under circumstances in which his domains were threatened. even if he chooses to ignore the calamity, eventually kian is going to encroach on his territory. the god of death will be forced to intervene.

i, chirp, assume the two would not get along super well, but the magistrate and host have shown us that relics can come together for a cause they both believe in. it is impossible to know if they will both be able to come together in such a way, but the chance is not zero!

in summary: under all that power and immortality, kian is flesh and bone like the rest of us. 4000 years has not softened his pride, and it will probably take 4000 more for his plan to amount to anything.

----

you made it to end!! sorry i am such a yapper lmao, but i've been thinking about this for like two days straight. this essay isn't meant to start any heated arguments, it's all very lighthearted, but i do want to hear your opinions. if i got some information wrong, please forgive me; youtube auto-translated subtitles can only get me so far, and i've only seen calamidade once.

KIAN BROXA.

[music-orthemisery]

I am barely alive after glacial blue and french socks. barely.

in honor of the new p2 date photo, what are your top 5 peterick moments?

Anon, this question has haunted me since you sent it days ago because HOW CAN I POSSIBLY PICK? So. Here is a non-exhaustive list of fave p2 moments where I totally bend the definition of “five.” 

The now infamous Singapore slide . Patrick’s smirk paired with Pete’s giggling school girl reaction was just…chef’s kiss. (And just. All riffs with Patrick let’s be real.)

The tie pulling moments. For reasons. 

More than an hour. Every show (except one which will not be named). For 20 years. (Bonus: this video where Patrick and Pete wax poetic about Saturday while Andy and Joe are like “what is this again…? Oh yeah. Whatever.”)

Mr. Brightside cheek kisses 

I’m lumping my final answer into a few because they technically all fall under a single category - unhinged interview moments. The entirety of the Zane Lowe interview. Probably the best interview they’ve done together. Features bangers such as: Patrick getting emotional talking about pre-h/the hiatus, Pete comforting him during this by putting a hand on his knee, and Patrick saying that Pete’s lyrics give him purpose as an artist and get him out of bed in the morning.  This one where Patrick is absolutely deranged and possessive AF to the point where the interviewers are like. Afraid of him.  This one where Pete reveals their sexy Santa role playing (/j) (/s) Infamous “If I could marry a dude, it would be him” interview (bonus: Pete also talks about It’s Not a Side Effect…and. well.) Pete talking about Patrick with Joel Madden and agreeing that they are soul mates. Wen Wen. Enough said. Also something else from this interview which I shall not say…  

I feel like I’m barely scratching the surface here but these are just the few that I have flailed over the most lately. ENJOY!!! <3

[thedreadvampy]

Having this weird realisation that I've spent my whole life beating myself up for not having a body type I don't even find appealing????

Like this isn't to say I don't find some thin or skinny bodies attractive, but the extreme waifish-but-feminine body type that celebrities are pushed into - flat stomach thin waist bony face smooth hips - just hits my brain wrong. It reads as unnatural on an adult woman - it's the shape of a (certain type of) teenage girl. Like I look at Lady Gaga or Scarlet Johansson at this point and I don't think 'wow beautiful' I think 'jeez what's going on there?' Especially in the face and waist - idk to what degree it's things like Ozempic and buccal fat removal and to what degree it's just the body types we uphold but everything in my brain is shouting THAT DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT FOR YOUR BONE STRUCTURE.

and like this isn't a political or moral statement, attraction is a terrible metric for Moral Goodness. but it's still maddening to realise that I'm constantly comparing myself to a way of looking that I honestly find offputting. like no I don't want to look like 2024 Ariana Grande, she looks Unwell. I don't actually want my face to be as bony and drawn as half the celebrities denying their use of weight loss drugs and facial surgery.

This isn't a moral stance but at risk of body shaming I just think that super skinny Looks Bad to me unless your body is built for it. And I don't want to look that way. But also I'm a woman living in the world so of course I also do and I look at my waist and go 'god when I was 17 I had such an hourglass figure' but a) when I was 17 with a UK size 6 waist I also thought I was fat (didn't do anything about it because I had other fish to fry and also I love food, but I did beat myself up about it) and b) honestly in that case even though it was my natural figure at the time I still look pretty drawn and uncomfortably thin in some photos from them, and c) if I met someone whose body looked like mine did then I would immediately clock them as a teenager, and I don't find that attractive in a 31 year old.

End of the day I kind of think that the obsession with a specific type of thinness - again, the flat stomach, nipped waist, smooth unlumpy hips, high breasts, narrow shoulders - is about fetishizing adolescence. Cause a lot of girls under 20 look like that - not most by any means, but it's not an unusual body type - but for most women (not all), adulthood means developing more muscle, a thicker waist and broader shoulders and hips, more definition in the hips, a bit more soft tissue over the uterus, etc. And trying to turn back the clock on that by force involves working against what your body is trying to be, which to me (personal aesthetic taste) often ends up looking odd and disjointed, like you have soft features but no fat in your face, or all the protective layers over muscle are stripped off so you're weirdly wiry.

I think what I'm drawn to aesthetically in the human body is the infinite different ways that people have a coherence between their different features, and their bodies come together as a unit, and I think it's possible to maintain that through surgical intervention and major body changes but I think the body types that are almost mandatory for women in the public eye rarely have that coherence, because they're not concerned with what looks best on a singular body but with checking boxes. and so it jangles my brain I don't like it.

[mejcinta]

Don’t know how true this is but hey there were rumours that Alicent would betray the Greens by the end of S2 and that turned out to be true so anything goes now!

Anyway, there’s a rumour that they’re going to keep Jace around a bit longer because Harry’s popular with younger demographics, a bit like how GoT gave Richard Madden more screen time than actual PoV characters.

So it got me thinking, is this the real reason they had Alicent give up Kingslanding to Rhaenyra? After all in the books it’s Jace’s death that triggers her attack on the capital, but now Alicent’s handed it to her on a silver platter.

Did this “feminist” show screw over one of their female leads, cause GRRM to have a mental breakdown, annihilate Team Green, destroy the very foundation of the Dance just so a bunch of horny 20 somethings can enjoy some more screen time of a pretty boy???

God give me strength but if Jace doesn’t die in the first episode of S3 then I was right. I would cry if this wasn’t so comically insane yet in character for these writers 🙈

I still think the Dragonstone scene is rhaenicent fueled, because instead of basing the Dance on Rhaenyra and her relationship with her BROTHER, the second claimant to the throne that is arguably her doom, they instead want to push a feminist agenda in which prophecy rules the day and Alicent is a mediator that has seen the light and tries to help Rhaenyra bring the feminist utopia into effect but in the end the patriarchy tragically quashes their attempt and alters the history against Rhaenyra. Love could have won, but MEN destroyed it boo hoo.

Keeping Jace around is probably a byproduct of fucking up the episode count of season 2. Plus, Jace has not really had significant character development for his death to matter to us at this stage. Sara was cut, Cregan appeared only once and he barely has a relationship with Baela.

I am not opposed to Jace staying a bit longer. I think he couldget time to be redeemed from his petty hatred of the dragonseeds. He could become more friendly with them, train them, grow closer to Baela and Rhaenyra, rule on Dragonstone a little while then challenge his mother's shortsightedness when it comes to Alicent before finally, FINALLY, flying to his little brothers' rescue at the Gullet only to be killed. That emotional weight is much better, than briskly killing him off in episode 1 of season3.

Trust! Sara and Ryan HATE Rhaenyra and Alicent's children. Jace was made a mewing bitch who challenges Rhaenyra's decisions and Alicent's sons were suddenly turned into one note villains (rAtcAtchers, shArp pOInt) to JUSTIFY her betrayal on Dragonstone.

They are nothing but obstacles to Ryan and Sara who just want to write their feminist forward, sapphic love triangle a03 fic featuring Mysaria lmaooo.

I mean, I wish the show was deeper and more nuanced like in season 1 but it sadly isn't now because the writers we have now are untalented, superficial twats who want to force their way instead of adapting GRRM's story.

Long story short, I don't think they butchered Alicent for Jace. Everybody in this story clearly suffers when Rhaenyra the Mary Sue comes anywhere near them.

[300iqprower]

After several months too many, it is done

i highly encourage you to/hope you will click to read the full thing, but since this IS the HRU blog, I'll format the skills they'd have here below the cut!

Passive:

Presence Concealment (Blitz) E+++ : -Increase your Critical Star Drop Rate by 2%. -Further increase your Buster Critical Star Drop Rate as HP decreases.

Therianthropy (False) A+ : -Increase your Buster Critical Strength by 8%-Increase your Buster Card effectiveness by 8%-Increase your Buster Critical Star Drop Rate by 8%. -This unit is susceptible to anti-[Oni] and anti-[Demonic and Wild Beast] effects. [Demerit]

Magic Resistance D- : -Increase your Debuff Resist by 12%

Oblivion Facilitation D+ : -Increase Critical Strength for all [Human and Earth] allies by 4% while you are on the field. -Decrease your Mental Debuff Resist by 12%. [Demerit] -Decrease this servant’s Bond Points gained by 5% when placed on a team with a [Star] attribute ally (excluding Friend Support allies). [Demerit]

Avenger (Beast-Kin) EX- : -Increase the amount of NP you and all [Wild Beast] allies gain when damaged by 25%. -Decrease Mental Debuff Resist for all non [Bestial] allies by 20%. [Demerit]

Sea God’s Blessing E+/- : -Apply Damage Plus for yourself (Total Card Damage +50). -Reduce Thresholds for this unit by 20% when field is [Waterside]. -Apply Damage Cut for yourself when field is [Waterside] or [Imaginary Space]. (Total Damage Reduction +150).

Beast Without (Memoriam) : -Increase your Buster Card effectiveness by 4%. -Gain Trait Change when under the effect of several Offensive and/or Defensive buffs [Base Threshold: 6+] - - Gain Earth Attribute - - Gain [Maddened] trait - - Change damage modifier from 0.9x to 1.05x - - Apply Quad-Alignment [Chaotic-Good + Neutral-Evil] to self

Active:

Attic Champion B- :

-Increase own ATK (3 turns). -Increase own DEF (3 turns). -Increase own Mental Debuff Resist (3 turns). -Increase own Defensive Debuff Resist (3 turns). -Apply Special Target Focus [Amazonian] to self (3 turns). [Demerit] ((Cooldown set to 8/7/6 turns))

Fallen Slayer A+ :

-Increase own Attack Debuff Resist (5 turns). -Apply Special ATK [Giant] to self (3 times, 5 turns). -Apply Special DEF [Wild Beast] to self (3 times, 5 turns). -Apply Special Ignore Defense [Maddened] to self (3 turns). -Decrease Buster Resistance for all enemies (3 turns). -Apply to all [Labyrinthian] allies: Increase NP Gauge when using Buster attack cards (4 turns). ((Cooldown set to 10/9/8 turns))

To Defy the Moirai :

-Apply Guts to self (1 time, 1 turn). [50-5000] -Apply delayed effect to self: Increase NP Overcharge Level for all [Prophetic] allies by 2 stages (1 time, 3 turns) when Guts is activated (2 turns). -Apply effect to all [Innocent Monster] allies: Gain Critical Stars when attacking (4 times, 3 turns). -Remove [Seal] debuffs from all allies. ((Cooldown set to 7/6/5 turns))

Noble Phantasm:

Outrage Matador B

-Remove Guts from a single [Human, Star, or Earth Attribute] enemy. [Activates first] -Deal heavy damage to a single enemy. -Decrease Charge for a single [Giant and Humanoid] enemy. -If enemy is [Wild Beast] or [King] trait: Decrease own Skill Cooldown by 1 turn and reduce passive threshold by 1 (5 turns). <Overcharge> -Decrease ATK for a single enemy (3 turns).

[slanax]

re lrb but in a new post bc it kinda derails from the original point of the post but

FE3H really dealt a blow to the concept of unique characters that Engage didn't manage to fully recover from

like as units, most characters start in the exact same class at the exact same level. Great start. Their class progression gives them all the same options for the same requirements outside of a handful of genderlocked classes which is the stupidest possible point to put your single distinguishing feature. The Tier 0 classes Noble and Commoner are different classes but are identical in gameplay. Why not make that your distinguishing feature that locks class access to characters? Would fit better with the story themes anyways.

Nominally some characters are better at some weapons and worse at others. This does not matter except maybe your Tier 3 promotion on Maddening gets delayed by a chapter or you need to rig the exams a bit more (luck based promotions by the way. Also terrible. Costs resources to even try. I digress.) The high end S+ ranks are functionally unreachable anyways.

Also doesn't help that outside of exactly two exceptions (magic, and gauntlets on mounts) every Tier 1 class can use every weapon type exactly as well as each other. There's no reason for a brawling character to go Brawler. Just go Brigand, they have more Str ("Just go Brigand" applies to every unmounted melee class by the way)

Then there's the mastery skills. Brigands get Death Blow. Everyone wants Death Blow. Archers get Hit +20. Everyone wants Hit +20. So you already have characters that all play the same, in classes that all play the same, but now every one of them cycles through Brigand and Archer to truly be. the same.

And then even if you want to sandbox and go "I'm gonna make a cavalier that uses swords instead of lances" Tier 2 shows up and tells you "what are you, stupid? Paladin is a lance class. See, they get Lancefaire. Put a lance on that guy you fucking moron. Who told you sandboxing was okay."

You'd think Tier 2/3 getting -faires would solve the issue of every class being the same weapons wise. Course it doesn't. Falcon Knight has Lancefaire, Wyvern Lord has like 2 less lance damage through raw Str. It does not matter and only serves to make you feel bad for not using the "correct" weapon type and losing out on the +5 boost.

The thing that actually distinguishes characters is their personal skills. Except most of those fall off and stop mattering after the earlygame bc they're like +2 or +4 boosts to stats that'll be in the 20s soon enough.

No, the thing that actually actually distinguishes characters is what skills and arts they learn. Shockingly, half the cast learns no skills that outclass the generic ones. So those don't matter. And of course, the game doesn't tell you about any of these, doesn't tell you if there will be a payoff for training a character in a certain skill over another or god forbid if that payoff will be worth it.

Engage gets a little better about this, at least the characters have a base class again, but it falls flat around midgame when reclassing is fully available. There's a lot of neat and unique class/emblem combos you can make, so at least the class samey-ness of 3H is fixed, but the characters become little more than warm bodies that carry that class/emblem combo into battle and some of them might have more optimal numbers for one of them.

anyways the way I think this can be fixed (outside of just getting rid of universal reclassing or going back to the Fates system of passing around class sets through supports) is to place more emphasis on personal skills. Class skills are generally just better in SwitchFE, and I don't get why. If personal skills give you a big boost that stays relevant throughout the game, even only in specific classes or circumstances, that encourages players to make use of that, use this specific unit for their personal skill, and create a tailored class build that specifically brings the best in that unit out. Or give them a specific gimmick. This hack I'm playing has a Cav that gets Brave but can't double when he moves his full Mov while mounted. That's a cool payoff. That makes him stand out. Do shit like that, intsys. In 3H this would just be the Cavalier mastery skill, and in Engage it'd be an Emblem skill, so everyone could do it. Just make it unique.

also make growths more distinct I'm tired of everyone having the same 35-45% slop in every stat god I wonder why every character feels the same when their statlines are fucking identical

[ms-miserable-misery]

Fan Fiction - Gundam Wing

Day 20 - “I saw your eyes light up”

Prequel to https://www.tumblr.com/ms-miserable-misery/764155181613170688/day-12-did-you-hear-that

“Don’t try to evade the truth with me.” Wufei glared at Duo through the phone camera. “I saw your eyes light up when you saw him.”

“He’s one of my best friends,” Duo protested. “Of course I’m going to be excited to see him.”

“And yet I never see your eyes light up when looking at anyone else,” Wufei countered. “Not Trowa, not Quatre, not me.”

Duo sputtered in indignation, but couldn’t refute Wufei’s statement. After a few failed attempts to form a rebuttal, he just threw his arms in the air with a growl of frustration.

”Ok, fine, so I have feelings for Heero. What’s the point, though? He’s my best bud, but you know that we’re constantly at each other’s throats. There’s no way that he feels the same way about me.”

”You’ll never know if you don’t ask.” Wufei looked at Duo impatiently. “I’m tired of watching you make goo goo eyes at him all the time. It’s maddening and gross. Either confess or get over it.”

”Oh, that’ll go great,” Duo drawled. “Hey Heero, my man, I know we fight more than we talk, but I think I’m in love with you. Wanna go out with me?”

Duo spun around, hearing a startled noise behind him. Heero stood in the doorway, mouth slightly open in shock.

On autopilot, Duo hung up the call with Wufei. He turned to Heero with his heart in his throat.

”Did you hear that?”