#mackie writes sometimes

[fluffypotatey]

Mk : Okay so! since you decided to have two protagonists for the story, and they are great, but what are they? like yk the dynamic duo

The monkies : Oh yeah they're friends/partners.....

Mk : ...I was asking about they got along but okay, Imma just- here! so here says they fall into eachother arms and..uh wait-

MK learning some new specific desires Macky has as his beta reader

[uhhbeans]

“I love your smile” with uhh Beanie and whoever you want :]

I HAVEN'T WRITTEN FIC IN SO LONG apologies for the rust.

Featuring @beanie-cleanies @professor-bab @guardtae (+ Peety...we love peety)

“You want me to look for a snake? In the I.R.I.S office?” 

“I want your help looking for a snake in the I.R.I.S office, yes.” Tae shrugs palm-up against the wall. “Very important distinction.” 

“My help…” Beanie purses her lips, setting down the jug of bleach she was holding. 

Tae nods firmly, grabbing Beanie’s hand and giving the widest puppy-dog eyes she could muster. Please, Beanie? Please Beanie you’re like the best. Please Beanie I’ll give you five million dollars. Please Beanie if you do this I’ll take you to a Miku concert. Please Please Please PLease Please--

“Why is there a snake in the I.R.I.S office, Tae?” Beanie audibly groans, wiping their hands on the cuffs of their denim and proceeding to lead against the wall as if trying very very hard to look cool. 

It’s only 8am, barely the start of first shift. Well, it’s called first shift, but in reality the guard had been there for about sixteen hours set already and there were at least a handful of scientists halfway through theirs. It was only called first because having 8am be “first” on record sounded better than saying “the building is alive 24/7 and you really don’t get off the clock, it’s just an extended-break”. 

It’s only 8am, and there’s already a snake missing. 

“Reptile room was left open last night.” Tae shrugs.

“There’s a reptile room?” 

“Uhm…” Tae kicks the mop bucket into a nearby closet, successfully eliminating Beanie’s only excuse out of this. “Yeah. Right next to the professor’s office?” 

“The Professor?” 

This exchange of detail, exasperated question, detail, another exasperated question goes for about six more cycles before Beanie sighs and actually meets Tae’s gaze. 

“Fine. I’ll help the professor--” 

“Help me help the professor.” 

‘Help you help the professor find their missing snake that could be anywhere in the--apparently--sixteen floors of this office.” 

And after about fifteen of those sixteen floors, exploring every nook and cranny, about two altr-incidents, and seven trips to the foodcourt--Tae asks a question

“Why are you so apprehensive?” Tae leans back out of the cabinet, holding up a mysterious liquid for inspection “I know your whole thing is all stiff and aloof but “begrudgingly stoic” just isn’t your thing.” 

Beanie thinks a moment, burying her head deeper into the lab’s liquids. Four hours spent looking for this snake. Honestly, she could be grateful--given I.R.I.S standards this might not even be a snake, and it’s the only real tour she’s gotten of the facility since starting the job. Still, though, her brows pinch forward and she flinches as she touches an acidic goop sticking to the back cabinet wall. 

“I don’t like snakes.” Beanie grits her teeth, voice dropping to a whisper. “Snakes are the one thing I can’t do.” 

Tae’s eyes widen in surprise, and she fully pulls herself out of the cabinet. “You…you don’t like snakes? But why, they’re so--” 

“Too many teeth. Too many scales. Apparently too many in this building.” 

“Look maybe we should just head back to the reptile room. Bab’ll be disappointed but…we’ve seen every inch of this building and…” 

Beanie locks eyes with a slithering mass in the corner, wrapped into a lollipop swirl and flickering it’s tongue towards a petrified mouse at the other end of the cabinet. 

“Tae.”

“What?” 

“Tae.” beanie pulls back, finger outstretched to point into the darkness. “Tae, I found it.” 

Her face lights up, “You found Peety!?”

“The snake. I found the snake, Tae,” 

“Here, here” Tae nudges Beanie to the side, away from the entrance. “I’ll get it.” 

It takes…a bit longer than necessary to pull the beast out of the deep-set cabinet, mostly due to Tae’s cooing and “hiii baby, you’re such a pretty baby, we love you so much”ies of the hour. But, eventually, after a long and drawn out process (and Beanie inching about ten feet closer to the door), Tae pulls out with Peety.

“Yeah, that’s the professor’s snake.” She sighs, holding it up for Beanie to see. 

“That snake has hands, Tae.” she swallows, barely above a whisper. “does that even count as a snake?”

“I mean yeah.”  Tae gives Peety a scratch on the cranium “Look at it’s little head.” 

***

It’s a week before Beanie enters the reptile room again, this time fully alone, not even cleaning supplies to keep her company. To be completely honest, she didn’t know why she made her way into that office--she wasn’t scheduled there, she still didn’t like snakes, and there wasn’t a reason to find that corner of the halls--but she was. 

She walked through the display cases, looking at all the sleeping reptiles flicker their tongues and have their silly little reptile dreams she couldn’t begin to comprehend. Gators, geckos, lizards of all kinds sat in waiting for meals, for enrichment. They were almost kind of cute, actually, with their beady eyes and their…rat diets. 

“Would you like to feed one?” The Professor pops out from behind a corner, Peety in arm. They walk over to the freezer, picking up a frozen mouse by its tail and dropping it into this lukewarm liquid on a nearby counter. “They don’t bite.” 

“Bab…I didn’t know you managed this department,” 

“I don’t.” they smile, setting Peety down in an open glass case. “I’m just good friends with Peety.” 

Bab goes to tinker with something in a nearby case, setting timers and mixing a few liquids. Important, important studies, we’re sure. The reptiles remain still, save for Peety, who is making their better home in the case. They’re slithering around…or more like walking? Crawling? Hard to say…touching their nose to the various pieces of their enclosure, sniffing out the glass, getting more accustomed to the environment again. 

Until, they make eye contact with the janitor, bug-eyed and dilated pupiled. It almost seems to grin, a little mischevous. 

‘I guess I can learn to like snakes. This one is kind of cute…the hands make it alright, like a little boxer.’ Beanie thinks, before poking a finger in the top of the glass. Peety gives a playful lick to the tip of their nail. 

“I love your smile.” 

“Oh,” Beanie snaps back to reality, pulling their hand back. “Uhm…” 

“Was that odd? Sorry if that was odd.” 

“No, No, I’ve just…I didn’t know I was smiling.” 

[always-andromeda]

I watched If You Were the Last a few weeks ago with my mom and her bf and it still hasn’t left my head.

[kingmackinac]

musings 3

There is a field,

Where I am, now,

Where we are.

It is wide.

And the ground is dark beneath us,

And little, is there

To interrupt the view.

Save the sparse bright-things,

Scattered almost too

Systematically

Across the landscape and

Around us.

Behind us are those modern mountains

All edges and lines

And bright bright light

Etched in tan and terracotta

Against the dusk-dark sky.

I know their presence,

But they are not the sight

Holding me (as they hold

My companion,

And the others, bustling

Through this space and time)

I face the horizon

My back to the lure

On the line of the horizon lie

True old mountains

Silhouetted ink-black jags

Casting shadows on us

From the sunset.

And above it all

The clouds

Mottle the sky

Robing it in a dark grey which,

When struck by the fading light,

Flames with tongues of striking

Fire

I am still

In the fading light

Until the skyfire clouds are

Once again uniformly

Gray

[lululandd]

simon ‘ghost’ riley trusted you with his home address so you decided to:

im supposed to be asleepge but this came to mind and had to write it quick (gn!reader)

♡ prank him.

harmless pranks ofc. you replaced his front door mat. quick and simple. it says “this is not a whore house, but a whore home.” if you had stayed long enough you wouldve heard him laugh. the mat is still there to this day.

♡ send postcards!

his house is mad boring and you decide he’s another person you would send postcards to. he gets those corkboard thingies and pins them (with the back scribbled out after taking pics of them ofc)

♡ visit.

his place might be dead empty as fuck but he’s got the comfiest sofa and blanket. you know that story anthony mackie tells people about sebastian stan’s sofa? that’s you with ghost’s sofa. he’s even got the large cashmere blanket and you don’t shut up about it.

♡ send foods.

yeah he subs to hellofresh or something equivalent (or more expensive even), but sometimes you just wanna send him some fruits or some leftover baked goods. dude forgets his fruits and just stocks up on biscuits and crisps and chocolates so you gotta lookout for him.

[liliesmultiverse]

⋆ˊˎ-•̩̩͙- *̩̩̥͙ WHAT'S A GIRL GOTTA DO? A DIAMOND'S GOTTA SHINE... home reality intro!!

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° liliana amore evans [born sept. 10, 2004] is a world famous singer-songwriter, twitch streamer & actress. i was born in new orleans, louisiana to actor christopher robert "chris" evans & [redacted] as the 4th of six children and i am the goddaughter of scarlett ingrid johansson & anthony dwane mackie. i first started my career at just 7 years old first appearing on the showtime series shameless as maisie gallagher. at 14 years old i began streaming on twitch as a way to connect with my fans and it was during one of those streams that i announced the release of my debut album teenage dream. since childhood, i've been best friends with reneé mary jane rapp and we're constantly appearing on each other's instagram & tiktoks. she even sometimes joins my streams along with louis.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° my filmography

tv shows:

༉‧₊˚. shameless ; maisie gallagher (2011-2021)

༉‧₊˚. grimm (1ep) ; april granger (2012)

༉‧₊˚. stranger things ; isabella "bella" cassidy (2016-?)

༉‧₊˚. a million little things ; sophie dixon (2018-2023)

༉‧₊˚. pretty little liars ; imogen adams (2022-?)

༉‧₊˚. bridgerton ; hyacinth bridgerton (2020-?)

music videos:

༉‧₊˚. mean ; taylor swift

༉‧₊˚. i can see you ; taylor swift

༉‧₊˚. that's not how this works (feat. dan + shay) ; charlie puth

movies:

༉‧₊˚. the greatest showman ; caroline barnum (2017)

༉‧₊˚. godzilla: king of the monsters ; madison russell (2019)

༉‧₊˚. godzilla vs. kong ; madison russell (2021)

༉‧₊˚. all too well: the short film ; her (2021)

༉‧₊˚. scream ; freya tatum riley, dewey & gale's daughter (2022)

༉‧₊˚. scream vi ; freya riley (2023)

༉‧₊˚. damsel ; princess elodie (2024)

༉‧₊˚. nosferatu ; ellen hutter (2024)

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° my discography

༉‧₊˚. teenage dream [released jan. 17, 2021]

༉‧₊˚. divine feminine [released jan. 19, 2022]

༉‧₊˚. p.s. i love you [released mar. 27, 2023]

༉‧₊˚. that's not how this works (feat. dan + shay & liliana evans) [released apr. 14, 2023]

༉‧₊˚. p.s. i love you (deluxe) [released sept. 23, 2023]

༉‧₊˚. can't catch me now [released nov. 3, 2023]

༉‧₊˚. haunted letters [released jan. 4, 2024]

༉‧₊˚. haunted letters (deluxe) [released may 25, 2024]

༉‧₊˚. kisses at sunrise [released aug. 23, 2024]

༉‧₊˚. snowfall (christmas ep) [releases on dec. 25, 2024]

༉‧₊˚. kisses at sunrise (deluxe) [releases on feb. 14, 2025]

༉‧₊˚. mrs. [releases sometime between jan. 1-apr. 30, 2026]

༉‧₊˚. killer woman [releases sometime between may 1-aug. 31-2027]

༉‧₊˚. killer woman (deluxe) [releases sometime hetween dec. 1, 2027-feb. 29, 2028]

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° my family

༉‧₊˚. christopher robert "chris" evans [born jun. 13, 1977] is a world famous american actor. he was born in boston, massachussetts as the oldest of 5 children. he's most known for his role as steve rogers / captain america. when he was 13, his family moved to shreveport, louisiana where he met [redacted], who he immediately fell in love with. the two began dating at 15 years old and they got married in late 1996. shortly after their wedding, they moved to new orleans, louisiana and together they had 6 children including corbyn evans, liliana evans & walker evans.

༉‧₊˚. taylor alison evans [born dec. 13, 1989], known professionally as taylor swift, is a world famous singer-songwriter. she was born in west reading, pennsylvania as the youngest of 5 children. she began writing songs at just 11 years old and is one of the biggest inspirations for her niece, liliana evans.

༉‧₊˚. corbyn matthew evans [born oct. 4, 1998] is a famous singer-songwriter and former member of the band, why don't we. he was born in new orleans, louisiana to actor christopher robert evans & [redacted] as the first of 6 children alongside his twin sister [redacted].

༉‧₊˚. walker lee evans [born jan. 5, 2009] is an actor. he was born in new orleans, louisiana to actor christopher robert evans & [redacted] as the youngest of 6 children. out of all of his siblings, he is the closest to liliana.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° aaron perry johnson [born jun. 13, 1990] is a world famous english actor. he was born in liverpool, england. he has a younger sister named gemma. he is perfectly fluent in spanish & russian. i first met aaron on the set of percy jackson & the olympians while visiting my younger brother, walker, and i met him for the second time while filming nosferatu, where we became friends and he helped me break up with my shitty ex-boyfriend, asher ellis. he, along with reneé & louis, helped me get over my break up with asher and overtime we became closer. in late april 2024, we began going on dates but it wasn't until jun. 17 that we became official. we moved in together on oct. 13, 2024.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° my past relationships

༉‧₊˚. louis patrick james partridge [born jun. 3, 2003] is a famous english actor. he was born in london, england. he began acting as a young child. we first met when i was 13 years old and dated from jun. 28-jul. 21, 2019. we broke up because we knew we were far better off as friends and he's one of my best friends to this day. me, him & reneé are a very well-known trio. i even helped him get together with olivia.

༉‧₊˚. anna cathcart [born jun. 16, 2003] is a famous canadian actress. she was born in vancouver, canada. she's most known for her role as kitty song-covey. we first met in march of 2019 and began dating on oct. 11, 2019. we dated for nearly two years before breaking up on sept. 23, 2021 because we realized we'd both lost feelings for each other. we still speak from time to time and are on good terms.

༉‧₊˚. asher roman ellis [born may 6, 2004] is a famous singer-songwriter. he was born in dallas, texas. he began releasing music at 14 years old but didn't make his rise to fame until releasing his 2nd album in 2023. he appeared on the song my oh my in my 2nd album divine feminine and that's how we met. i quickly fell in love with him and we got together on apr. 19, 2022. for the first 6 months, he treated me perfectly but slowly he started acting differently, becoming verbally abusive and cheating on me without me knowing. it only got worse after i met aaron and asher tried demanding that i stop speaking to him but i refused. finally, on may 27, 2023 i broke up with him and moved in with renee.

[jumpywhumpywriter]

This is going to be a really long post, but here's the explanation to the friend I lost recently and the immense grief I'm going through, and why I'm taking a break from writing.

The best friend I lost is my ever-so-beloved cat named Macaroni (named for his deep red-orange fur that looks like Macaroni. We nicknamed him 'Macky' for short) I know a lot of people might be like "oh, well it's just a cat it's not like it was a human being or anything you're being overdramatic" but keep in mind this cat has been my ONE AND ONLY BEST FRIEND for so many years (I got him when I was five years old, and he lived with me for 17-20 years -- we weren't completely sure of his age since he was already a few years old when we got him but he was somewhere around that old), and he was one of the ONLY long-term friends I've EVER had (I literally have only 1 other friend who has stuck around as long as he has, but she lives several states away where I don't get to visit often). I'm not exaggerating when I say this cat was part of my family, my soul brother.

Having to say goodbye to him was easily the worst moment in my entire life, letting my dad take him away to be put down, knowing I'd never see him again, never get to pet his fur or do nose boops with him ever again (he loved touching his nose to mine in his way of saying ‘I Love You’). Even my dad was crying, and he's the kind of guy that never cries.

I couldn't even bring myself to go with him when he drove to the vet to have them put Macaroni to sleep because I was just too heartbroken, so I stayed at home the whole time just bawling my eyes out. Macky was experiencing kidney failure and was anemic alongside some other issues. By the end of his time on earth he couldn't move well and was just laying around on his side unable to do much.

And one of the hardest parts of it all was that his mind was intact -- he wasn't fading mentally. Even when he was sick and dying he still lifted his head when he heard me crying to nuzzle me and boop my nose with his one last time, even though he was physically too weak to stand or walk or do much else than lay there. It was like a gut punch, seeing him like that, where he was mentally fine and normal and healthy, but his body just... couldn't keep up with him anymore.

I'm crying my eyes out even writing this because it's such a raw gaping wound for me, but I feel like talking about it will help, at least a little. But it's like a giant hole has opened in my heart, an aching absence. That something’s missing. I keep expecting him to come running up to me when I open the front door when I get home to greet me like a dog, and he just... won't. He won't ever do it again, because he's gone, and never coming back.

He has been my only source of strength for so many years. I have dealt with a lot of bullying problems in my school years (partly because I'm officially diagnosed with high-functioning autism and suck at social stuff/interactions which made me a good target for bullies) and had no friends whatsoever to get me through those hard times (not an exaggeration in any way, I quite literally had zero friends to back me up and always sat at a lunch table alone by myself to eat), and that incredible cat was always the first one I would go to when I got home for comfort, and sometimes I'd just cuddle him and cry into his soft fur while he purred and comforted me. We did EVERYTHING together. If I was playing on my phone or watching videos/movies, he was right there curled up on my lap. At night, he'd snuggle in my arms and we'd fall asleep together (he was never the kind of cat to sleep at the foot of the bed -- he always insisted on being RIGHT THERE next to me where I could pet him and put my blanket over him, as if he were just another human). If I went outside? I'd put his harness and leash on and we'd go for a walk, as if he were a dog (he loved outdoor time so much).

He would follow me around the house like a puppy -- no lie, if I went in a circle around the house several times he'd come right along. Sometimes I'd do it just to have him follow me around because I found it cute and funny. It made me feel so loved and appreciated and most of all wanted, which I cherished because I generally have low self-esteem and confidence struggles.

I have met and interacted with many, many cats over the years, and NEVER met another one like Macaroni. He was truly one-of-a-kind, and I'll never find another cat like him. There is no even coming CLOSE to replacing him. His personality was incredibly unique among cats.

I miss my best friend so darn much and it's clawing and ripping me apart inside that I'll never get to see him again. I want him back so badlyyyyy!! 😭

He also had some of the most human-like and expressive facial expression I've ever seen (you can see in the pictures near the top of this post that he can display emotions extremely well -- especially the ones I turned into memes because they were so hilarious. There's more fun pictures at the bottom)

My best friend is gone, and I'm more lonely and lost than I've ever been before, especially since I don’t have any real-life human friends I can count on for comfort aside from my immediate family (and the 1 friend that lives states away that I rarely get to see in-person) so for the most part I'm struggling through the grief all on my own and it HURTS.

Honestly it's a miracle he lived as long as he did, considering the typical lifespan of cats. 17-20 years old is a loooog time in cat years.

For comparison on just how crazy long he's been in my life, I'M 20 years old myself. He's literally just... existed for as long as I can remember, ever since I was a little kid. I almost can't remember how I first got him because it's been so long. He's been there for practically my whole life, and it's so strange that he's not around anymore.

What's funny is that getting him was an unexpected event. The story is that one day I was in the petstore sitting in the cart as my mom pushed it, and I was a huge animal lover at the time and always wanted to check out the cats and other pets to look at them, even knowing we'd never get one. But that day, a lady was cleaning the cat cages, and offered that I could temporarily take care of Macaroni while she cleaned his cage. She put him in the cart with 5-year-old me, and we INSTANTLY bonded.

So my mom called my dad to ask if we could adopt him, and he approved, so we filled out the adoption paperwork on the spot to see if we could get him. We weren't expecting to bring home a cat, but my mom could see how quickly I fell in love and knew I was totally friendless and could really use a best bud to hang out with.

Turns out, 8 other people wanted him too, but we happened to be the first to fill out the papers, so we ended up bringing him home the next day. And ever since he has been my best friend as I grew up from little kid to teen and then the young semi-adult I am now. He's been there for nearly every stage of my life.

He’s the kind of cat who would NEVER hiss at or scratch you, he was such a sweet and loving boy and was the absolute opposite of every feline stereotype I've heard of (independent, uncaring for humans, bossy etc. He was none of that, he was loving and always wanted to hang out and play with his favorite human (AKA me)).

We have two other cats in our household, but Macky… Macky was special. I’m absolutely devastated by the loss, and it feels surreal that he's gone after nearly 20 whole years living together. He's lived longer than most cats do, though, so I'm eternally grateful for the time I got to have with him. He saw me all the way through childhood, teenagehood, and early adulthood.

I'll hold you in my heart, my dear friend, until I can hold you in heaven. You were more loved and cherished than you’ll ever know.

Squinting to read the fine print 👇

Ready to go for a walk with our other light orange tabby Soffee 👇

Macaroni is VERY photogenic, and loves posing for the camera 👇

A poem for my sweet boy:

There's something missing in my home,

I feel it day and night.

I know it will take time and strength

Before things feel quite right

But just for now, I need to mourn,

My heart -- it needs to mend.

Though some may say, "it's just a pet,"

I know I've lost a friend.

You've brought such laugher to my home,

And richness to my days.

A constant friend through joy or loss,

With gentle, loving ways.

Companion, friend and confidante,

A friend I won't forget.

You'll live forever in my heart

My sweet, forever pet.

[nerdby]

Captain America: Brave New World is a great movie with a powerful message about technology, the dangers of propaganda and subliminal messaging, and second chances. This is one of the MCU's most political films ever made, and the metaphors aren't subtle. The movie features an Israeli antihero who had to be heavily retconned because in the comics Ruth Bat-Saraph was originally an Israeli hero and ex-Mossad agent. The character was first introduced to the Marvelverse in the 1980s and hopefully, I am not overstepping too much by pointing out

That Marvel Comics was built by Jewish progressives who all had their own sometimes very wrong opinions regarding Zionism. The people writing these books are just that -- people. They are only human and sometimes humans fuck up, and this won't be the first or the last time Marvel has put out some cringey shit.

It turns out, though, that Marvel does have a Palestinian character called Navid Hashim AKA the Arabian Knight. So maybe there is a chance we will see him on the big screen one day. We can always campaign for that because Marvel has always been pretty good at listening to their fans for the most part.

All that aside, the movie is extremely left-leaning and there were some fantastic fight scenes. Marvel seems to have finally found the right balance of fun and gore. Because there was a surprising amount of bloodshed in this movie, although not so much that it looked like a horror film. Its just that we got to see our heroes bleed for once. It is easy to tell, though, that the filmmakers wanted the film to be intense but not so much that it would frighten away younger viewers. And I think they nailed it.

Anthony Mackie also did a great job as Sam Wilson. The character felt way more three-dimensional, and I think the movie touched on the racial politics in a way that won't alienate centrist audiences. It was also great to see some of the characters from Falcon & The Winter Soldier return because they are some of the most interesting characters to have debuted in a while. I was hoping for more from Giancarlo Esposito's character, but it's still great to see him in the MCU.

Taking these things into consideration, I think Brave New World is a solid eight of ten stars. That's just because it was a great movie, a very fun movie, but I am not sure that I love the ending. Even though it does sort of drive home the point that Sam is just a human being who happens to be the epitome of Black excellence and it does help to keep the story going and expand the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Still part of me is just like, really, is this a good idea?

Hey, though, this is still good news because the next phase of the MCU is off to a solid start and after watching Brave New World, I am feeling a lot better about Thunderbolts* coming out in May.

[congressman-barnes]

「𝕄𝕠𝕕 𝕀𝕟𝕗𝕠」

◤━━━━━━━━━━━◥

𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕝

◣━━━━━━━━━━━◢

↳ My name is Casey!

↳ My pronouns are They/Them

↳ I am 18 years old

↳ I love Marvel, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Hunger games, Pressure, Our Life, and several other story based games and fandoms. (These are just my main ones) ↳ I run several other accounts! You can find all of them at my hub: @itscrazycasey ◤━━━━━━━━━━━◥

ℍ𝕠𝕓𝕓𝕚𝕖𝕤

◣━━━━━━━━━━━◢

↳ I love to write

↳ Reading

↳ Gaming

↳ Being Silly

◤━━━━━━━━━━━◥

𝔽𝕒𝕧𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕤

◣━━━━━━━━━━━◢

↳ Movies; Spider-man: Homecoming, Captain America: Civil War, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Iron Man, The Avengers, Princess and the Frog, Luca

↳ TV shows; Daredevil, helluva boss, hazbin hotel, 911 (Both), Saturday night live, The Floor, Jeopardy

↳ color: Yellow and Red <3

↳ Characters: Bucky, Steve, Tony, Peter, Matthew Murdock, many many more

↳ Games: Stardew Valley, Marvel Rivals, Hogwarts Mystery and Hogwarts Legacy, Spider-man (all of them), kingdom come deliverance II, Horizon

↳ Actors: Sebastian Stan, Zendaya, Tom Holland, Anthony Mackie, Scarlett Johansson, RDJ, Jon Favreu, Tom Hiddleston… a lot more

↳ Books: Hunger Games, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Boyfriend Material (I’m always open to more book suggestions! Please.)

◤━━━━━━━━━━━◥

𝔽𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕤

◣━━━━━━━━━━━◢

@twoarrsandonesea

@anonymous-existences

@xcamcrunch

@orionion07

@spiderman-is-me

@insomniac-lifestyle

@luhv-always

These are just a few of my best friends on the planet!

◤━━━━━━━━━━━◥

𝔻ℕ𝕀

◣━━━━━━━━━━━◢ ↳ No Starker -It's a minor/adult ship even if we're going comic based. Tony Stark is always significantly older than Peter Parker. So no. ↳ No adult/minor ships whatsoever -This one should be self explanatory ↳ No incest -Ick. ↳ No discrimination. - This includes things like ableism, homophobia, racism, etc.

◤━━━━━━━━━━━◥

𝔹𝕐𝔽

◣━━━━━━━━━━━◢ ↳ Mod is 18! -This is just a warning to any minors who may wish to interact with my blog. ↳ There may be NSFW. -Again, Mod is 18. Though they are asexual and may not partake in anything in the NSFW sense. It is still possible. ↳ I can and will say no. - If something makes me uncomfortable, I will be saying no to it. This is a blog for fun! ↳ Head canons -This will be mostly head canons. I'm not the best with being canon characters, so just give me some leniency on the personality. Also don't judge me on shit. I will call you out. ↳ I am in school. -I'm a senior in high school as well as looking for a job. I'll be going to college pretty soon as well, so I may be busy! Give me a day or two to answer, and if I don't respond feel free to message me and remind me. Sometimes I just need a little reminder. :)

[fandomfluffandfuck]

its my birthday soon, Mr. S!

mayhaps you could write something about Seb making himself go stupid (either with his hand or with something more…. siliconey, if you will) and Chris catching him?

tysm!! 🫶🏻

I've had this prompt for a really long time, so I have the feeling that your birthday has passed, and I'm sorry about not getting to this sooner. Regardless, happy belated birthday!

Also, this got, uh, dirty. Moreso than usual, maybe? Idk, depending on your version of dirty because if we're going silicone and going dumb, then let's fucking GO because--

First and formost, I think that perhaps these terribly filthy thoughts have been inspired by the stony fic, "Alien sex toys are safer than admitting your feelings, until they're not" by pouringinsheets that you may or may not be interested in because it's stony but 🥴🥴 Steve and tentacles? Guh. Sign me the fuck up.

So, tentacles, that'd be so embarrassing to go dumb over, wouldn't it, Seb? 😏

(Something like, Ika® the Tentacle from Bad Dragon perhaps?)

Honestly, Mackie probably bought the toy for Seb as a gag gift on a loooong press tour, knowing after one too many drinks that he was missing his man badly. And sexual frustration resulting from being trapped on a whirlwind press tour away from your friends and family will make you do weird shit sometimes. Weird shit, like, for example, buying your dear friend inappropriate things and winking and nudging him when you finally hand it over, saying he should put it to good use, maybe later tonight even, because it's Tuesday and you know your friend and his boyfriend FaceTime on Tuesdays 'cause that's the only night, no matter what you do do, you can't wear Sebastian down to going out with you.

So.

It's Mackie's fault.

He's a true troublemaker.

And after just about dying of mortification (and threatening Mackie to never tell him anything again if he's going to use his insider knowledge for evil like this) Sebastian originally was going to toss the gag gift toy into the bottom of his suitcase and be done with it. He would throw it away... give it away (is that a thing you can do? It's not like he's going to open it, and he doesn't want it to be a massive waste, so? Maybe?)... or whatever. He was definitely going to get rid of the evidence.

He never wanted to think about the damn thing again, so big, blue (actually a pretty tasteful light into dark blue fade that, because Sebastian is hopelessly in love, made him think of the emoji Chris is so fond of using 💙), and shaped so intensely like, well, something not human. A tentacle. Maybe an octopus? A squid? Maybe an alien? Sebastian isn't sure. And he swore, to himself, as he buried the toy in its box under his packed clothes, toiletries, and other travel clutter, that he would burst into flames if he so much as thought about it again. So, he had to hide it. There was nothing else to be done. He couldn't face it.

But, goddamnit, as the days drag on and on, Sebastian just can't get the obscene thing out of his head. Press is mind-numbing with the same questions repeated until he can spit out answers in his sleep. It's natural that he needs something else to focus on, then, right? It's just unfortunate that his fixation is over a fucking joke sex toy.

And it's just that... that he's never seen anything like it. He didn't know of such a brand. Bad Dragon? He refuses to look it up to see if all the toys are like the one Mackie got him, so he lives in a stupidly intriguing (for whatever reason) mystery. Also, a tentacle? Dragons don't even, traditionally, at least, have those. Huh?

More than the questionable branding and, probably, more than just needing something to fill his mind, Seb can't get the phallic fucking thing, heavy in its box at the bottom of his bag, out of his head for the sheer idea of it.

Looking at the graphic graphic on the outside of the box with its connal shape and textured suckers, Seb couldn't imagine what it would feel like in the nonexistent scenario where it was inside him.

Any sex toy he's ever owned has had one of two textures--smooth or ribbed. Smooth, soft silicone that sinks into him satisfyingly easy, gliding with the right about of lube, or more rigid ribbed surfaces that tug against his rim and rub deep inside him until he's clenching and gasping. He's never had something where there are repeated raised circles on one side, then on the other, there's nothing. It's just smooth. Both at once have to be confusing at worst and overwhelming at best, right?

Still, he can't imagine what it would actually feel like. So, naturally, his curious mind dwells on it. More and more. The thoughts invade him at every hour.

How different would it be from any other insertable sex toy? Would he be able to differentiate the textured side from the smooth side? How soft or hard is the body of the toy itself? It looks... squishy. Does the slight curve and curve back of the shape do anything? Does it feel different, assuming that it's rigid enough to keep that shape when shoved inside him?Would it feel good at all if he fucke himself with it? Surely there's something to it, otherwise it wouldn't be sold, right?

Right?

Sebastian goes in fucking circles, driving himself insane with the thoughts and the ensuing embarrassment the thoughts bring. He zones out, falling into the vortex of questions with no answers over this god forsaken tentacle sex toy. Then, when he realizes what he's doing, spiraling, he goes pink. Everywhere. Pink. And, at that point, he can't help but squirm in his seat, wherever he is, desperately hoping--sometimes in dire situations where he's thinking especially inappropriate thoughts--that no one within his vicinity can secretly read minds. If they could, he would know, though. Because he's sure the shock and probable disgust would be written across his face.

Sebastian isn't, he doesn't--he wouldn't kink shame. But there's a difference, he's finding, in himself where what he wouldn't really actually judge someone else for being into, he would certainly judge himself for being into. Wonderful.

Not that...

No.

He's not into this! He's just curious. That's it.

And that's probably not his favorite thought, considering the last time he was curious about something that something was men and then he went on a bender kissing and doing other stuff with basically any guy at any club he could get into until he was scared he was getting to famous to do that. So he cooled it off and fought his way to the acceptance of his own bisexuality.

Seb circles the drain, downward spiral getting nowhere, until he's finally, finally, finally home. Home sweet home in his tiny New York City apartment where he's chaotically ripping into his suitcase, unpacking and mostly flinging dirty clothes into the laundry basket, when he finds it. It's not even an oh yeah moment because he didn't forget. He doesn't really find it. He knew exactly where he was.

There it is.

Big. Blue. Shaped just like a tentacle. And, somehow, heavier than he remembers. It's hefty. Probably thick and definitely long.

Sebastian licks his lips.

He can't...

Push comes to shove, and he can't bring himself to throw it out because, because, because think of all the waste! That's so much silicone. So much time and effort to rot in a landfill. Because, well, he's curious. And because, oh no--

The devil on Seb's shoulder decides to raise its tiny little fit and hits him over the back of his head with a thought.

A rush of thoughts, really.

Disappointingly, Chris couldn't meet him at his NYC apartment like they had hoped after months--that's right pural--of being separated, schedule conflicts with their stupid fucking careers of auditioning, filming on site, then filming at this other site, waiting for editing, and going on press tours all over everywhere, so Sebastian is, just, frustrated by himself. He's wishing he weren't by himself. And he's thinking about Chris, as he always seems to be. He's thinking about the fantastic, crazy reunion sex they'd be having if he was here instead of Sebastian unpacking right away. Seb is thinking about how toe-curling-ly nice it is when Chris gets caught up in the moment and gets rough and shoves and takes and suddenly, yeah, oh fucking no because Seb's mind is full of that toy.

Not just that single toy as it lies limp in its box, though. It's worse. With the devil-on-his-shoulder's terrible influence, Seb's mind is full of that toy it it was even more wriggling and bigger and stronger and alive.

He is hit like a hurricane, blowing out a rushing breath of hot air, thinking about tentacles being rough with him. Involuntarily, Sebastian lets out a little sound. A tiny, under his breath whimper.

Rougher than Chris, even. Tentacles made of coiling muscle, hot and slick, sliding over his skin to tangle him up in their grasp like living ropes tying his body into the most challenging shibari poses where he struggles to stay. Sebastian wouldn't be able to be folded and molded into those positions if not for the rough tentacles using him mindlessly. Taking. Plundering and claiming. Merciless inside him, uncaring how much pleasure Sebastian does or doesn't get. Sebastian is riding high on pleasure, though, eyes rolling back as one of them creeps between his straining, spread-wide thighs and screws itself into him. Stuffing him full. Deep.

Oh.

If it were really spectacularly rough and hungerily plundering and deliciously merciless, though, it wouldn't just be his ass. The tentacles would be in all his holes, wouldn't they?

Through his bottom lip stuck between his teeth, Sebastian whimpers again. Muffled, yet louder than before, as he sinks into the most pornographic corners of his mind. New fantasies forming dizzingly fast.

The tentacles, thick and long and hot, so fucking strong, could go up his ass and down his throat, and he would feel so full. Nearly bursting at the seams. They could tangle up in his belly, keeping him full and heavy, and--they could be even more places, couldn't they?

Another sound, a moan from a memory meshing and combining with his newfound obsession--

Chris has sounded him a handful of times--not enough, but their lives are batshit insane and it's so intense and time consuming--and every time he's had that cold, glistening metal rod shoved down his urethra, Sebastian has been sure he's cumming the whole time. Oh, god. It's the most intense thing. It hurts. It feels too fucking good. It's like being fucked from the inside out. It's pumping waves of pleasure, shattering him with each peak. Every fraction of an inch deeper the sound goes, the higher Seb's voice goes.

Jesus.

The tentacles could shove down into his cock, raw and hard, and be everywhere, forcing his legs open, restraining his arms, fucking hard into his ass, tugging at his balls, curling around the shaft of his cock, forcing themselves down into his cock, squeezing his waist like they're trying to feel themselves tangled in his gut, fucked down his throat, too. Bruising him wherever they hold and grab him. Taking him.

Fuck me.

Sebastian shivers so hard, so suddenly that he drops the box onto the floor, narrowly missing his toes.

He needs it.

He needs to be taken, and this toy will have to do. It's the only thing that will do. He has others tucked away in his bedside drawer, but this is what he wants. Needs.

Fumbling to pick up the box containing what he desires so badly, Sebastian grabs that fucking thing, suddenly uncaring about how wierd and self-conscious this feels, rips the cardboard and plastic open, and rushes into his tiny bathroom to wash it quickly with warm water.

Unthinking, Sebastian strips himself as rapidly as he can from his sweats and old, thin t-shirt before climbing into bed with it and lube.

He almost forgets the lube. He's so out of sorts, consumed by his sexual frustration. And that might become the next most embarrassing thing other than the shape of what he's about to put inside himself. When was the last time he was this uncontrollably desperate?

Sprawled out, now also without his underwear, panting, in his own bed, just himself and this mortifyingly bright blue tentacle, Sebastian does it. He starts getting himself ready to be fucked by this thing. He cracks open the lube and gets his fingers covered liberally, dripping really, so they're glistening in the low light before wasting no time to shove one, then, two, and three fingers inside himself.

Guh.

Face down on the bed, reaching around to finger himself, Seb finds himself drooling, just a little, into the sheets that he cleaned before he left; he was planning to come home to a nice, made bed, that he's now ruining, he doesn't give a shit, though, just like he wouldn't've cared if he had been able to come home to Chris and they fucked up his bed together. His bed, the wall, the couch, or anything. Sebastian would've taken anything gladly. It's been too long since he had something inside him. He's just been jerking off and passing out after press tour late nights mostly. This is... yeah.

Yeah, fuck yeah, this is good.

Three fingers deep, twisting his wrist sharply to press against the edge of his prostate, brushing past, leaving his mouth gaping, his toes twitching. Curling. A harsh breath is kicked out of him. Oof. Pleasure rockets through him, electric, as he makes a more direct hit. The angle isn't perfect, and he definitely won't be able to do this for too long, but still, it's... oh.

God.

Yes.

Seb just barely tears his fingers from his own body. It feels so good. But, he's even more enticed by what's waiting for him, a whimper caught in the back of his throat.

He's, he's stretched enough now, right? He can--he can take it.

He'll be good, relax, and go slow. He can do it.

He will do it.

Sebastian picks up the oddly shaped toy, fingers wet and shaking as he smothers in it lube as well, his dick twitching to an even worse, more aching hardness with the slick sounds it makes. Smooth and textured.

He can't fucking wait another minute longer to stuff it into himself, so he doesn't. He puts the tapered tip to his stretched entrance and--

"Ohhhhh," he exclaims breathily, humid air rushing out of him as it slides in. At first, it's easy--so, so easy. He stretched himself much wider than the tip of the tentacle, but rapidly, it gets harder.

Hard.

The silicone is soft at the surface, yet there's just enough give to make it feel exotic and unreal, squishy, with just enough rigidity to keep it able to go inside him. He can clench on it hard, but he can also shove it in. Deeper. Fuck--god.

The toy is so slippery when it's coated in lube, and the sensation of it sliding into him is too fucking erotic. But it's only that dangerously, teasingly smooth on one side, feeling indescribably good as his body easily takes the smoothness. The raised suckers on the other side catch on him rim, then give as it thickens, forcing his body to accommodate. It's much wider and even wider than that as he stuffs it into himself, nearing the base.

Another garbled sound exits Sebastian as it enters him. He shivers.

He's already addicted to the difference. It's good. He doesn't know which he likes better so it's so fucking nice that he can have both, causing his head to spin, off-balance in the a way that's good-scary. It feels good. Unfamiliar in a rare delicacy sort of way. He's spread and vulnerable and taking it.

He gets the entire thing into himself, sweating himself into a puddle, and revels in it for too long. Teasing himself, clenching and relaxing around it. It's soft enough that it... it almost wiggles inside him. It's wriggly and soft and Sebastian wouldn't've thought that'd be hot but it fucking is.

More than feeling it filling him, stretching his body open, vulnerable and slutty, he wants it to move. And he may or may not cry out hotly thinking about how good it would be if it really could pump in and out of him by itself. Fucking him. He wants to get fucked so bad.

So, so fucking bad, he needs to be fucked, so even though he's melted into a puddle of heat, sweat, and pre-cum from the dripping slit of his cock, Seb steadies his legs as much as he can, getting them under himself to straddle the nearest pillow. He snatches it up and folds it over and shoves that between his thighs, knowing that when he grinds against in, no matter how pathetic and needy his thrusting is, it will push on the pillow and make the pillow shove firmly against the base of the toy, jostling it, making it almost, almost feel like a thrust. At least, it feels like the toy is moving inside him on its own if he shuts his eyes and let's his head drop back heavily, not thinking. Feeling.

Plus, fucking his pillow like this, fucking himself, squirming, leaves his hands free to touch himself. Free to feel up his own heaving, sweat-slick chest and pinch his hard, tight nipples; free to fondle his pulsing cock and tight balls; free to put his hands palm down on his quivering thighs, feeling his own shaky strength as he rides his pillow.

Helpless to control his volume as he grinds and humps, swiveling his hips, bouncing, riding, he gets louder and louder.

He's fucking loud.

He's moaning and whining, and he keeps hitting his prostate, and there's nothing he can do to choke down the crack that splits his voice.

"Fuh-uck!" He jumps an octave or two as his voice cracks.

He's so loud, getting into it so much, imagining the toy growing, longer and thicker, twisting up inside him. Screwing into him until he's stretched wide around it, made sloppy and loose, full of slick wetness from a tentacle. Used by a tentacle that shows just how fucking deep his appetite for getting fucked and filled goes. He'll take anything.

Anything.

He's so loud that he doesn't notice until--

SLAM!

All at once, his bedroom door comes crashing open with a deafening sound, the wood hitting his wall. It's like the shaking collusion and resulting sound rattles the entire apartment.

Exactly then, Sebastian's heart stops dead from the thundering, pounding speed it was going at.

Huh?What?Who? The words rush through his mind, no meaning, just shock. He's panicked half a second later, processing more, realizing what's happening. Then, he's fucking mortified to be found by a home intruder like this but, but, it gonna be worse than that isn't it because what if they know who he is and then this gets out to the media and it will be worse than if his phone got hacked and all those photos he's send with Chr--

Chris.

Holy fucking shit.

CHRIS.

It's Chris.

And he, well, he looks like he nearly just punched the door down. One of his hands is clenched around the door knob as if he wants to dent the fucking thing while the other hovers in the air, somewhere between looking like he was about to pound on the door, knocking hard, or running through his hair, messing it up, tugging at the strands in pure sexual frustration. (He's not the only one, Sebastian had been about to start pulling his own hair to push himself over the edge.) The expression on his face is dripping in arousal--smeared and wet, so thickly, freshly painted with heat. Dark eyes. Hot cheeks. Lips swollen, red, and wet. Really, it's not just his cheeks that are flushed, he's pink all the way down to the collar of his shirt.

Was he listening to Sebastian's sounds through the door, ear pressed to it? How long was he there before he broke? Did he shoulder it open to get to him as fast as possible? Driven thoughtless and stupid by all the blood rushing to his dick? There are no answers to Seb's questions.

There's no time because, Jesus, Seb can't help but mewl, grinding harder despite his shame. The embarrassment of being caught red-handed entangles him like his imaginary tentacles, adding to the heat he already feels. He is molten. Blazing, white-hot.

Seb hardly gets just one single grind against his wet, teeth-gritting-friction-providing pillow before Chris takes one, two huge lunging steps toward the bed, clearing the room to fucking tackle him flat to the bed. He crushes him bodily to the mattress, all that height and weight, squishing him. Seb can't breathe. He doesn't want to. Even through his clothes, Chris is furnace-hot, he feels good. So solid and heavy and good.

Chris barely has half the mind to growl, "surprise."

Meanwhile, Seb just moans.

Chris hardly has his mitts on him, his blunt fingernails digging into his bare flesh, but Sebastian already knows where this is going. He knows what Chris is going to do to him, and he's ready, out of his mind, to beg for it.

He's so, so totally naked, exposed, while Chris clings to the illusion of being restrained and unaffected, covered head to toe by his everyday clothes. Chris is going to use that, the sham of being controlled.

Chris is going to order him around, shove him around.

Chris is going to embarrass him until Seb's sure he's going to melt into the ground from sheer mortification.

Chris is going to make him cum with the toy before he fucks him. He will fuck him but... first--once he puuuulls the toy out slowly and shoves it in deep, seeing what Seb's working with--Seb will have to admit why he has a monster toy shoved into him.

What about it?

Why's it hot?

What's going on here, baby? This is so dirty, even for you.

There will be no way around it, no way out, for Sebastian. He'll have to stutter and whine and choke through his confession. He's going to have to spread himself open more than just physically, moaning about how he couldn't stop thinking about it, too curious, sobbing over toe-curling the texture, gasping with the thought of being completely pinned, helpless to stop it, writhing at the idea of being taken from every angle.

It'll make Chris smirk, doing that evil thing with the curl of his lips and quirk of one eyebrow. Too hot for his own good. Sebastian will whine, pretending to hate it, even though he can't stop shivering, can't stop begging for Chris, saying his name, clawing at him, clinging to him, cumming when Chris promises to give it to him. He wants to be overwhelmed? Chris can overwhelm him.

Just you wait and see, baby. Just to wait and see...

Jokes on Sebastian, though, because none of that will actually happen if he blacks out from heart-attach-inducing lust before Chris can do anything.

P.S. I hope that was worth the wait! (And thanks for reading this far, lol)

[alwritey-aphrodite]

That’s My Whole World

Chapter 8 of There’s Nothing Like This

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x fem!footballer!reader

Warnings: angst, discussions of injury, vague depression thoughts

Word Count: 2.7k

Author’s Note: here she is, the final chapter!! Thank you for all the love on this series, and I’d be happy to write an epilogue or any other little drabbles anyone would like to request <3

Life doesn’t change in any dramatic way after you kiss Jamie. Really, it’s a little shocking how normal everything is. The two of you still spend almost every night together, parked on one of your couches in front of the TV while snacking or eating dinner, and the only difference is that now, you sit closer and you cuddle and you kiss him goodbye. Otherwise, everything’s the same as it has been.

Training is even more grueling than usual with your final game of the season against Arsenal on Saturday. If you lose this game, you come in second and everything you worked for this season would mean nothing. Even though coming in second place your first year in the league is astounding, you need to win, need to prove to everyone that you’re able to play with the big dogs, that you’re just as worthy of praise as the men.

Most nights when you come home, your mind and your body ache, sore all over and running in circles creating every possible scenario for Saturday. Jamie, though, has always been there when you’ve gotten home, no matter how late it was, and he always had warm food and would let you cry and rant and complain to him as long as you’d like.

Even though the end of the men’s season is right around the corner as well, there’s essentially no plausible way for them to lose, as they’ve been on top for the entire season, with even Man City trailing quite a few points behind. Your team, though, has been neck and neck with Arsenal for the entirety of the season, with the two of you switching between first and second place practically every week.

For now, though, you’re winning, and you’d like to keep it that way.

Jamie, despite his own stress about the upcoming end of the season, has never been anything but wonderful and reassuring, spending hours telling you that you have nothing to worry about and gently scolding you for working so hard and putting so much stress on yourself. It’s difficult to balance your intensity during training, and even though you know you need to be in the best shape possible with working muscles when Saturday rolls around, you also know you need to push yourself in training to get yourself to be as great as you know you can be.

Most evenings are spent with you icing your feet and your ankles and sometimes your knees, with Jamie gently rubbing the tension out of your shoulders. He never says it, but you know he thinks you’re pushing yourself too hard, but you can’t stop now. You’ve made it this far, what’s the point in slowing down when you’re so close to the top?

When Saturday morning rolls around, you’re sore and more anxious than you’ve ever been, feeling nauseous and unable to eat. Still, you manage to choke down some food because you know you need to eat, know that if you skip breakfast you’ll just feel worse when you get to Nelson Road. You take a steaming hot shower in the hopes of relaxing your muscles as much as possible, and by the time you’ve dried off and packed your bag, Mackie’s waiting in your driveway.

Silently thanking the universe for her perfect timing, you climb into the passenger’s seat to be greeted by the playlist you had made years ago to hype yourself up before your first game on the national team, even though you both sat on the bench the entire time. Just hearing the songs, remembering how far you’ve come, was enough to momentarily replace your ceaseless anxiety with pure joy, allowing you to simply enjoy a car ride with your best friend and turn off your worrying mind for a few minutes.

Pulling up to the Dog Track, though, it all comes rushing back and you’re an anxious mess, walking on autopilot to the dressing room and trying to ignore all the reports that call out to you in the parking lot. Inside, it’s noisy and bustling, the players and coaches scurrying through the dressing room with Keeley and Rebecca popping in every few minutes to “check on the state of everyone”.

All in all, it serves to make you more jittery, but it’s reassuring to know that everyone’s feeling much the same as you are. Changing into your kit, you take a moment to thank the universe for everything that’s happened to you, the good and the bad, because without that injury, you might not be here with a Richmond on your chest and a 9 on your back.

As Elena fixes your hair, making sure it’s slick and secure the same way she always does, the coaches stand at the front of the room with Keeley and Rebecca, clearly getting ready for their pregame speech. Instead of one of the coaches, though, Keeley steps forward.

“I just wanted to thank you guys for everything, for your hard work and dedication and positivity, even when it wasn’t easy,” she smiles at you, even though her eyes shimmer with tears, “and whatever happens out there, I’m proud of you.”

The room erupts into murmurs of agreement, shouting out your love for Keeley as she steps back by Rebecca, who wraps an arm around her shoulder and squeezes gently.

“Let’s go fucking crush them!” Roy adds, and the room explodes into noise, the team huddling up for the final time of the season.

Heading out onto the pitch, it’s shockingly loud and the stands are completely full, but they’re full of Richmond blue and red. Near the pitch you recognize the three men from the pub, all decked out in Richmond gear, even with their faces painted. It’s not hard to find the men’s team, either, who are all covered in Richmond swag as well, and you try not to grin when Jamie blows you a kiss. Mackie notices, and blows one back to him.

The energy is electric, and for the first time all day, you’re thinking that maybe you can win this.

In the final few minutes of the game, your hard work and hope are so close to being paid off, with a two-two tie and a clear path to the goal, you make a break for it, receiving a perfect pass from Mackie and closing in on the undefended goal when suddenly everything stops. You can’t see, you can’t breathe, and all you can hear is the ringing in your ears.

There are hands all around you, touching and prodding and supporting your head, and it’s not until someone reaches out for your right ankle that your body explodes in pain. It all comes back to you, the vicious tackle from an unseen defender that sent you flying and crashing onto the ground, your entire body weight landing on your bad foot. It feels like the whole foot, your ankle and your leg and your hip have been shattered, and now you’re hyperventilating as the medics rush over, your head placed in Mackie’s lap as she holds you steady.

The crowd is silent, waiting with bated breath to see what happened, to see if you’re alright, but the area around you is full of noise; the clear, direct speech of the medics and the frantic responses of all the players, teammates and rivals alike. Unable to move, unable to sit, unable to breathe, you’re placed on a stretcher and hurried off the field.

Of course it would end like this, in defeat and destruction. You were naive to think anything else would have happened, naive to think you were able to play with the big dogs because all these years later, you’re still just a stupid little girl who can’t stop herself from getting hurt. It doesn’t even hurt anymore, but you can’t tell if that’s from whatever they’ve injected you with or because of the shock and adrenaline coursing through your body.

Instead of taking you to the medic’s room, that warm little room with ice packs and various braces, you’re loaded into an ambulance and taken away from Nelson Road, away from your last chance at doing something great, doing something worth remembering other than getting spectacularly injured.

The last and first thing you see are blindingly bright lights, shining down from on high and you wonder for a second if you’d died, from shame or your injury, until the lights are shut off and your eyes adjust to the bleak hospital room. You’re on your back, foot wrapped like a mummy and elevated above your heart, and everything hurts, your entire body aches and screams in pain, but all you can do is let out a pitiful little moan.

This is your life again, helpless and stuck on your back like a sad classroom turtle, just something to be looked at with varying degrees of pity. You don’t even want to think about how helpless you were last time, how you needed to rely on someone to do everything for you, to cook for you and help you shower and walk you to the bathroom, and even just the thought of being stuck like that again makes bile rise in the back of your throat.

You’re interrupted from your self pity party by a soft knock at the door, and it takes all your effort to turn your head just the slightest bit.

“There are some people who’d like to see you, if you’d be ok with that?” The doctor asks in a gentle voice as if you’re a child. Helpless, helpless, helpless.

“Sure,” you try to say but your lips are cracked and your mouth is dry so you’re not confident any words come out but the doctor understands and leaves to usher someone else inside.

“How’re you feeling?” Mackie asks as she enters the room, and she can’t help but chuckle at the withering look you send her because obviously you’re not doing too great. She’s followed into the room by Elena and Keeley and Rebecca and Roy and Beard and Nate, all of them crowding around your little hospital bed. You can’t help but notice that Jamie isn’t with them, and you hate how it makes your chest ache even more.

“The rest of us are waiting outside,” Elena says, taking in your wandering eyes and knowing just what to say, “they wouldn’t let us all in and we won rock paper scissors.” You think you laugh at that, but you’re not convinced any sound comes out.

“I get to take you home later, take care of you like my little baby,” Mackie says, placing a kiss on your forehead in a rarely tender gesture, “I’m glad you’re alright.”

“Did we win?” You croak, desperate to know the answer while dreading what you might hear.

“3-2,” Roy nods over at Mackie, “this one almost ripped a hole in the net.” You smile at your best friend, despite the resentment and despair that sit deep in your chest. That should’ve been you, scoring a showstopping, game-winning goal, but instead you got a broken foot and endless misery. You want to be happy, but you feel like crying.

You stay that way, for a long, long time. The doctors are unable to determine the scope of your injury, saying that you could be back to playing by the start of next season or you could never play again. You could score the season-winning goal next year or you could never walk normally again. They don’t know, and you refuse to get your hopes up, refuse to think of soccer or the Greyhounds as much as possible.

Mackie, though, is always there, moving herself onto your couch while you wallow in the ground floor guest bedroom, reeking of misery and defeat. The physical pain of your shattered foot is nothing compared to the emptiness in your chest, the disgust you feel over needing someone to take care of you. Mackie doesn’t mind, you know she jumped on the opportunity to be your guardian while you were out, but something painful blooms in your chest every time she brings you food or your meds or asks if you need help getting to the bathroom.

Most of your time is spent crying, the sound of the TV turned up to drown out the noise even though you know Mackie can hear you. You’re just grateful she never says anything, never looks at you with those wide, pitiful eyes and instead she remains her sarcastic, witty self. It’s a nice reminder that not everything has changed, that while your career is most likely over, your life isn’t over.

The Greyhounds come over to visit often, gathering around your bed or sitting on the floor when you’re finally able to make the trip to the living room without gritting your teeth in pain. Rebecca and Keeley send you gifts all the time, pastries and books and snacks you know cost a fortune to ship over from the States, and even the men’s team make sure you know they care, ordering dinner for you or stopping by to chat and vacuum and make sure you’re not going insane with having only Mackie to talk to.

Jamie comes the most, though, relieving Mackie of her babysitting duties as much as he can and as much as you love him, you hate how often he’s around. You hate that he has to see you like this, that he doesn’t mind that you haven’t showered properly in weeks and that you barely brush your hair and that most of the time you’re together, you just sit and cry.

He doesn’t mind at all, though, telling you time and time again that if you want him to leave, he will, but he doesn’t want to go. He’s happy to wipe your tears when you cry and brush out your hair for you, happy to help you to the bathroom or out to your backyard once the weather gets warmer and the doctors say you don’t need to elevate your foot 24/7.

“I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore,” you say for what feels like the thousandth time, voice thick and swiping aggressively at your eyes with the back of your hand.

“You’re gonna play football,” Jamie says, just like he always does, trying his best to be a beacon of light for you.

Even though you tried to believe him before, even though you desperately wanted him to be right before, the start of the season is creeping closer and closer and your foot is still encased in plastic and velcro, you still struggle with walking by yourself and you haven’t even started physical therapy yet. It feels like your heart is physically breaking, but you know you won’t be playing this season.

“Take a season off,” Jamie says, readjusting your position so he can hold you better, “sit on the bench and annoy grandad all year.” You laugh wetly, and you can feel Jamie smiling into your hair, “or maybe you don’t come back and play, but you could coach or find a pundit gig or write books for kids like Leah Williamson.”

“She still plays though,” you counter, knowing you’re being shitty but thinking that maybe in this situation that’s acceptable.

“Your life isn’t over,” he places a kiss to the crown of your head, “we’ll figure it out, yeah?”

And you will. Clearly, with how slowly your foot is healing, you have plenty of time to figure it out, and you know Jamie and Mackie and Elena and all your other friends and teammates will be there with you every step of the way. You could always wait a season, let yourself rest and heal properly, the way you deserve, before stepping back onto the pitch. Or maybe you’ll never step foot on the pitch as a player again, but you could coach or write or do a thousand different jobs that keep you in the soccer world, or you could leave it all behind forever.

Maybe this chapter of your life is over, but a new one’s about to begin and you can’t wait to see what it holds.

Tags: @andr0medafallen @whimsical-roasting @sokkigarden @hopefulromances @buckychristwrites @guccilongboard @onceuponaoneshot @yepyeahuhhuh @allthefandomtherapy @gibby31 @buddyjuststop @ellietartt @cancvr @brianandthemays @sonyume @aiyaiy @yokolesbianism @jamietarttdodo @innocentbi-stander @skewedcherries @neenieweenie

[fluffypotatey]

Sorry for making my first question about Júhua about shadowpeach, but I'm obsessed. She knows about macaques entire codependent mess towards wukong cause of shadowplay (enjoyed the fic where she read him filth). But does she know about wukong's side? She known him a long time, but wukong doesn't really talk about himself or his failed relationships

no yeah, i know i mention it very briefly in the series but swk is pretty tight lipped when it came to discussing past relationships with her. mostly because a lot of their time together was during his 500 year punishment and he was coping horribly :) like all she would get is vague stories that swk could never finish and always had this bittersweet expression

also, literally the day they met was right after swk and Macky’s fight (such a fun introduction to the monkey king her mother was previously hyping up before lmao) so he was even more reticent in sharing that can of worms. especially when Júhua and her mother overheard the tail end of the fight

so Júhua knows that Macky meant something to swk but the specifics are still vague to her. is she able to read between the lines? yes, but she would still like to hear it from swk whenever he’s comfortable

[maddiesbookshelves]

📚🗓 Mid-Year Freakout Tag 2024 🗓📚

Thank you @cleopatras-library for the tag ☺️

How many books have you read so far?

10 novels, 2 graphic novels and uh, like 10 or more manga? I don't track all of them

What genres have you read?

Fantasy, historical, romance and mystery. Sometimes several of those in the same book

Best book you’ve read so far in 2024?

Probably The Briar Book Of The Dead, by A. G. Slatter if we're talking about novels only. But the graphic novel Rivages Lointains by Anaïs Flogny is just so good, I'm obsessed with it. If you can, please read it, it's French but it's been translated into English and Italian

Best sequel you’ve read so far in 2023?

The only ones I've read were either manga or the full Dr. Greta Helsing trilogy by Vivian Shaw, which I've read back to back. So either that (book 3, Grave Importance), or the manga Requiem Of The Rose King, by Aya Kanno, that I reread and finally finished after YEARS (yes the ending ended ME)

New release you haven’t read yet, but want to

There are way too many, and I keep seeing more at work, I'm gonna die of frustration. Evocation by S. T. Gibson is eyeing me very strongly because of the internet. As is The Spare Man by Mary Robinette Kowal, from where it's sitting on my coworker's display (it only came out in February in France)

Most anticipated release for the second half of the year

I don't know honestly. The one book I was really waiting for this year was A Crane Among Wolves because I loved June Hur's previous books, and since I've read it now (it's very good btw), I'm not waiting for anything else

Update I learned something as I was writing this post: HEAVENLY TIRANT MIGHT STILL BE COMING OUT THIS YEAR???? DECEMBER 24????? MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS TO US???? HELLO?????? After Xiran told us the release date had been pushed back I thought for sure it would come out next year but apparently not so YEAH THAT'S MY MOST ANTICIPATED RELEASE OF THE YEAR, PERIOD

Biggest disappointment

It's a toss between How To Kill Your Family by Bella Mackie, and A Far Wilder Magic by Allison Saft, for reasons that are very different. If it wasn't for that ending, How To Kill Your Family wouldn't even be there but unfortunately. And A Far Wilder Magic just wasn't for me. I didn't expect it to be YA romantasy so I was sorely disappointed

Biggest surprise

Probably A Sign Of Affection by Suu Morishita? Don't get me wrong, I love shoujo (I know, I don't like romance novels but I love shoujo, it makes no sense, don't look at me) and I thought I would like it but I didn't expect to like it this much

Book that made you cry

I cry so often when I read/watch/listen to things that it all gets mixed up in my memories. I think I cried for Rivages Lointains, I definitely cried for Requiem Of The Rose King HAHA. I might have cried for Run Away With Me, Girl by Battan, I'm not sure. All of those are manga by the way, I don't remember if I cried reading a novel this year

Book that made you happy

The Bandit Queens made me happy because the ending was great (unlike How To Kill Your Family) which healed me a little

Most beautiful book cover of a book you’ve read so far this year

Aaaaaaa I don't know. The cover (and sprayed edges) for the French edition of A Far Wilder Magic are a big part of why I even bought it in the first place, but also A Crane Among Wolves...... And of course Aya Kanno's art is just so beautiful, all the covers for the Requiem Of The Rose King series are 👌

How are you doing with your year’s goal?

I had set a goal of 40 on goodreads/storygraph but I might have underestimated how work would impact my reading habits. But also, I'm not dead set on reaching that goal, I just want to read

What books do you need to read by the end of the year?

I'd love to read more of the books I already own because it's becoming a problem. Other than that, there's no urgent need

That was fun so if anyone wants to join in, please feel free!

[icy-watch]

"I've beaten her before, I'll do it again." AND THEN HE GRABS HIS ARM. look. there was a darn good reason my first impression was that Macky and Wukong failed to beat LBD together before learning he was never involved but sometimes I wonder. but ooh, same arm Macky was holding to get you to release, also physical body language for insecurity and self comfort hmmm, you good Wukong? "Mei was right. I need to stop dragging you into my fights." write this down too Icy, you WILL see this again. *stares at *gets dragged off stage* anyways did I mention how much I love ShadowPeach and how much they affect each other and how well done their fall out is and how complicated and how in need of clear honest communication and being gentle they are and how much care and love there was and *gets dragged off stage again* also the way he jumps off onto his cloud is SO COOL. whatda heck bro, why you monkeys so angsty yet gotta be theatrical and cool at the same time. *looks at your post* Oh Icy, if you want Macaque crying (or possibly eye dripping blood bc of Wukong) you'll get it later :) You know, part of me is also thinking. Sure, Macaque couldn't sit politely on the sidelines for Wukong to do his thing. And they'd probably chase him off with a broom. but the way Monkie Gang was so opposed to finishing the ritual when it was their goal too...yeah they wanted Wukong there so they didn't mess up and being threatened by the bad guy to finish the ritual for a power meant to destroy the one he "served" lotta confusion there. but like, if they did finish it when Macky asked the first (totally get why they didn't) its not like Macky could have run off with the fire or anything like, its not something you can hold. and the golden cicada appearing bc it was "destiny" but that bug is a sign of good destiny not bad destiny which Tang recognized and- *jumps out of my seat* you plan on watching the entire special?! WHOOO haha don't worry about being a naive summer child. There is still hope for Mackadoodledoo yet. Ah, I'm gonna kinda miss his villain arc. Now he's going to be transitioning into a fruit. Next season that is. Kind of hard to overcome anger and hurt when nobody ever talks about the past. Anyhow. On things to pause for. For this special? My hint for you: Keep your eyes peeled on the sky. First 15 minutes is all you need.

*adds it to the list*

You like ShadowPeach? I couldn't tell. /j

👀

[night-faye]

Glad you’re enjoying all this ^_^ don’t worry about straining your eyes, by the episode doesn’t mean every episode, you actually can’t miss the change ;) Between whatever the OP before episode 8 was and those at the end, it’s in the last frame. A couple more trivia for you :D Sorry I keep referencing Macky’s episodes LOL esp this one but S3 Ep 4 that screenshot where he dumps the Skeleton Key in the grass and walks off is reminiscent of the scene where Wukong first leaves his staff in the pilots and walks off. And between two storyboard artists, we’ve seen Red Son being drawn in gender nonconforming fashions, using all pronouns and I quote, “Red Son cannot be contained by one measly gender and will be taking all the genders.” The characters are also given their own Pokemon Team by the artists ;) and although they aren’t stated to have confirmed ages so the fans are able to see them however, they are stated outside of the show to be seen as certain ages. Pigsy is 43, Tang is 41, Mei is 23, and MK is at least 18 but fandom mostly places him at 21. MK has also been thought of as going by He/They pronouns and was shown with the transgender flag. Wukong in JTTW is one of four celestial primates who is described as “knows transformations, recognizes the seasons, discerns the advantages of earth, and is able to alter the course of planets and stars.” While Macaque is "a sensitive ear, discernment of fundamental principles, knowledge of past and future, and comprehension of all things." And his name comes from the saying "a secret is not safe between six ears" or "the dharma is not to be transmitted to the sixth ear" which has sneaky dialogue potential. I love playing around with it. Also, the characters are merged with other JTTW characters of similar names. That goes for the entire Brotherhood + Macky, who is merged with the Macaque King who is presented as female in the English translation. This is where the “Great Sage Informing Wind” title comes from for Macky in fics + the wind and shadow magic people sometimes tie together with him. Altho you don’t see his six ears in the show, we get a lot of references through the mech, how sound effects him, and his…unique ability to react as if having heard into the future. You’ll see in the special. But his model sheet does show him with six ears if you ever wanted to know. But fandom draws him with rainbow colorful ears based on another show that has these monkeys :D Lego’s Chinese TikTok (official one) refers to him as “handsome max charisma villain” + mandarin dub calls him “phantom lord” LOL. In a game, he’s very tsundere about admitting he has a monkey king poster in his room. In S4 we like to say he’s homeless. I’m still struggling to verify if it was a show producers tweet I read about him forgetting to pay rent and losing the dojo. Mei’s placeholder name was “mary sue” and it makes me cry, why they do my girl like that 😭 Time passes differently in the Celestial Realm, so a few hours or days on Earth can be weeks or years up there. Might've been why Wukong was rushing in S2 yet seems to have been gone for months :) Lmao, I gotta catch up to where you're at. I've been slowly writing these up since Pitiful Creatures. Ah, it seems you've seen how MK parallels Mei leaving in S3 here! Fun times for everyone ^_^

Glad you’re enjoying all this ^_^ don’t worry about straining your eyes, by the episode doesn’t mean every episode, you actually can’t miss the change ;) Between whatever the OP before episode 8 was and those at the end, it’s in the last frame.

Aye aye cap'n I'll keep my eyes peels. about to go into nine so should be fun! (I missed it on eight because I wasn't looking)

A couple more trivia for you :D Sorry I keep referencing Macky’s episodes LOL

Never apologize for referencing Macky episodes. I wanna go insane over this monkey

esp this one but S3 Ep 4 that screenshot where he dumps the Skeleton Key in the grass and walks off is reminiscent of the scene where Wukong first leaves his staff in the pilots and walks off.

👀

And between two storyboard artists, we’ve seen Red Son being drawn in gender nonconforming fashions, using all pronouns and I quote, “Red Son cannot be contained by one measly gender and will be taking all the genders.”

THAT IS SUCH A MOOD!!!! HOLY SHIT! Red Son I feel you so hard

The characters are also given their own Pokemon Team by the artists ;)

If Macky doesn't have my (second behind squirtle) fave Mimikyu I will riot

and although they aren’t stated to have confirmed ages so the fans are able to see them however, they are stated outside of the show to be seen as certain ages. Pigsy is 43, Tang is 41, Mei is 23, and MK is at least 18 but fandom mostly places him at 21.

Noted noted noted :)

MK has also been thought of as going by He/They pronouns and was shown with the transgender flag.

👀

Wukong in JTTW is one of four celestial primates who is described as “knows transformations, recognizes the seasons, discerns the advantages of earth, and is able to alter the course of planets and stars.” While Macaque is "a sensitive ear, discernment of fundamental principles, knowledge of past and future, and comprehension of all things." And his name comes from the saying "a secret is not safe between six ears" or "the dharma is not to be transmitted to the sixth ear" which has sneaky dialogue potential. I love playing around with it.

Yeee I knew this. hehehehe. I am going to have such fun with this hehehe

Also, the characters are merged with other JTTW characters of similar names. That goes for the entire Brotherhood + Macky, who is merged with the Macaque King who is presented as female in the English translation.

Oh fascinating!

This is where the “Great Sage Informing Wind” title comes from for Macky in fics + the wind and shadow magic people sometimes tie together with him. Altho you don’t see his six ears in the show, we get a lot of references through the mech, how sound effects him, and his…unique ability to react as if having heard into the future. You’ll see in the special. But his model sheet does show him with six ears if you ever wanted to know. But fandom draws him with rainbow colorful ears based on another show that has these monkeys :D Lego’s Chinese TikTok (official one) refers to him as “handsome max charisma villain” + mandarin dub calls him “phantom lord” LOL. In a game, he’s very tsundere about admitting he has a monkey king poster in his room.

>*Taking notes very quickly*<

In S4 we like to say he’s homeless. I’m still struggling to verify if it was a show producers tweet I read about him forgetting to pay rent and losing the dojo.

WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME? LMAO

Mei’s placeholder name was “mary sue” and it makes me cry, why they do my girl like that 😭

JUSTICE FOR MY GIRL

Time passes differently in the Celestial Realm, so a few hours or days on Earth can be weeks or years up there. Might've been why Wukong was rushing in S2 yet seems to have been gone for months :)

Time passes differently you say 👀 oh I could Do Things With That

Lmao, I gotta catch up to where you're at. I've been slowly writing these up since Pitiful Creatures. Ah, it seems you've seen how MK parallels Mei leaving in S3 here! Fun times for everyone ^_^

I'm in pain :)

[ojcobsessed]

Helming Jamie Childs' new crime-thriller, the actor talks tuning into a character, writing out their history and embracing the spontaneity of his own.

BY SOPHIE WANG

In early January 2022, as the rest of us added layer upon layer, watching the temperatures drop to zero, Oliver Jackson-Cohen travelled north of his London home and jumped bravely into the North Sea. “I’m really proud of the whole movie, but I’m quite proud that we all made it out alive, really,” he tells me nine months later, home safe with rays of morning sun separating us from the realities of his time filming, Jackdaw.

The debut feature from TV writer and director Jamie Childs (The Sandman, His Dark Materials), Jackdaw tells the story of Jackson-Cohen’s Jack Dawson, a former motocross champion and army veteran who, in an effort to support his younger brother, agrees to pick up a mysterious package in the North Sea, only to find himself tricked and his brother kidnapped. Subsequently, Jackdaw — as he’s better known — embarks on a one-night, breakneck journey through Northern England’s rust belt on his bike, reconnecting with his past as the subtleties in his complex backstory and familial history slowly unravel against a backdrop of nail-biting action.

The nuanced portrayal of such a character could possibly only be achieved by Jackson-Cohen, who seamlessly masters the art of tuning into his character’s psyche. Since a childhood trip to see Home Alone in the cinema, the 36-year-old has been fascinated by the possibility of disappearing into someone else’s world and delving into their stories. Subsequently booking his first job at 15 years old, the London native has spent the past decade and a half immersed in alternate worlds, from the horrors of 2018’s The Haunting of Hill House and 2020’s The Invisible Man to the post-WWII reality of Man in an Orange Shirt and the 19th-century Yorkshire of last year’s Emma Mackie-led, Emily. He mentions twice in our chat that at this point in his journey, he feels “like 150 years old”, and it’s hard to be surprised. Between time-travelling, fronting countless stories and embodying dozens of different people, he’s lived many lives.   “I always think it's quite funny that this passion was born as a kid and here I am as an adult doing it,” he laughs. “I do sometimes think: ‘Is that the smartest fucking thing?’ Because when you're a kid, you have all of these ideas and they're not the smartest ones.”

Though some of his childhood plays (written and directed by him and his friends) may have had “zero plot”, as Jackson-Cohen tells me, and it took him a bit of time in his early twenties to figure out the projects that would resonate with him, it is safe to say that his childhood dream was definitely not a bad idea. “I think with any passion that stems from childhood, the drive is so insane. I think with anything creative, you have to have this insane determination, regardless of where it stems from. It's just this weird drive forward that you kind of can't stop.” He pauses. “I feel like I've had many iterations of a career. I look back at the stuff I was doing in my early twenties and it was very much what I was told to be doing. I think it takes time to make mistakes and learn from those to actually find out what it is that resonates with you. Ultimately, I think it probably has something to do with exploring something that I'm not looking at in myself and being able to unlock that, to explore that with a character.”

Hearing this, it is easy to see why the Jackdaw lead would be a perfect fit for the role. However, he didn’t originally believe the part should be his. “I'd met Jamie Childs on a job I was on before and we got to know each other genuinely,” he explains. “He started to talk to me about this idea, this script that he was writing and when he was finished, he called me up and asked if I’d read it. Then he went, ‘Will you play Jackdaw?’ And I immediately said, ‘Jamie, I don't think I'm the right person for that. Do you know who you should hire? You should hire this person.’ And he was like, ‘No.’ And I was like, ‘No, do you know what? You should hire this person...’ And I kept throwing ideas at him.” Eventually, perhaps after exhausting every other option for Childs, the actor agreed and dove headfirst into the lead, making it implausible that his alternative suggestion could have embodied it so definitively.

“I feel like all of us jumped in because of our belief in Jamie,” he says. “And I think to have your protagonist be someone that is flawed and vulnerable and not your [stereotypical] sort of action hero was such a clever move on his end. It just felt like nothing I'd ever been a part of before. And there was something in that script about someone feeling like there isn't a place where they belong and being thrown into a position of having to care for someone and the tragedy that's gone on with their mum… all of that became a really interesting thing to play around with.”

Building out a character’s story is one of the most exciting parts of the job for Jackson-Cohen. With Jackdaw, this meant lots of meetings and discussions with Childs and co-star Jenna Coleman, who plays his love interest, Bo. “We sat down and hashed out when they were together and how long they were together and what happened and when the last time they saw each other was,” he says. “I think what’s so clever with Jamie is that he doesn't really over-explain, but he drops these pebbles as you go. And I think they're quite effective. It’s like, you know Jack's been away in the army. You don't really know why, but whatever it was, it wasn't good. So it was trying to figure out, 'okay, what was it?' And I don't think you necessarily see it on screen, but for me, my favourite part of it is trying to write out a life for them.”

For Jackson-Cohen, with any story he portrays, getting into character isn’t necessarily about becoming someone else. Rather, it’s about tapping into what’s already within him. “It’s like when you're in a music studio,” he says. “You've got all those dials and it's about turning something up that exists within you that you don't necessarily tap into and turning certain other things down. It's all coming from you.”

“In real life, I rarely get emotional, and I think it's because I have this outlet,” he continues. “There's this space where you can go and it's safe to experience and feel all of this stuff. It’s this weird, playful safety bubble that you get to go off to and play around where, ultimately, it’s real in the moment, but it's not real in your life.”

However, sometimes his body doesn’t register the difference between his own experiences and those of his character. “I played a character in the past who was a heroin addict and that was really hard [to get out of] because you are left with this inherent heaviness of all the stuff that you've created and felt in your head,” he explains. “Or earlier this year, I did a film set around the beginning of the Holocaust. And so you’d come home at the end of the day and you’d know it's not real, but your body can't really tell the difference. So you get these weird sort of hangovers if it's incredibly heavy and emotional. You know it's not real, but your body's playing catch up.”

“The older I get, the more embarrassed I get to say that this is my job because it's such a fucking stupid job. But also, I absolutely love it.” He laughs. “I feel so unbelievably grateful that I get to do this as a job. I always eye-roll when actors say things like, ‘Oh, it's such a privilege,’ but I do feel incredibly grateful because I get to go off and explore these parts of humanity that I would never otherwise.”

While he might endeavour to plot out the history of his characters, Jackson-Cohen’s very much letting his own future write itself. “Part of the exciting thing about being an actor is that you don't really know what's going to come in or what you're going to read that's going to excite you. I want to be surprised. I'd love to work here, in small filmmaking, with first-time directors, telling stories that people may love or hate, anything that's trying to say something a little different.” He pauses. “But until I read it, I won't know.”

Jackdaw is out in UK cinemas now and Wilderness is available to watch on Prime Video!