#m: have you ever tried being imperfect? i can show you how- im kind of an expert

[kansasjustgotgayer]

Can we have someone other than lin manuel miranda writing songs for disney now? Theres a lot i did not like in encanto.

[uncloseted]

i feel like it must be exhausting to hate the leads of the shows one watches, especially when the characters are just as complex if not more (because of the screen time they get) as the other female characters.

i think especially in the case of rory gilmore, the show sets her up from the beginning to make the mistakes and the flaws she has throughout the show. rory cheated and was the other woman (but also so young... until the revival which is another topic), and became a burnt out gifted kid after being literally worshiped by a whole town, with a mother who did the same and who was always avoidant and chaotic in her own relationships (while also having teenaged rory as her confidant), /and/ had a dad who was barely ever there except when he wanted to court her mother before ghosting again.

then with paris (i love paris) her whole character also makes sense based on being neglected and bullied by her mother as a child, having her only family be her nanny and her children, and needing to focus on academic perfection partially due to feeling inadequate/being treated less than the "prettier" and more palatable girls. though i want to give her way more credit as she truly is a naturally driven, hyper-intelligent woman and with such iconic dialogue (and so refreshing to see during the 00s)... and in the end, all her hard work paid off and her character development was amazing. still, there were times where her character could be extremely cruel, like bullying rory in chilton on and off and kicking rory out of their apartment in a very dangerous area because of a perceived slight.

sorry for coming into your inbox to ramble, i just wanted to share my thoughts on why it leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth when watchers (especially female watchers) want to despise one of the leads for being flawed, when it makes so much sense why rory's often in denial of being so. because of lorelai. i just love how many layers there are in how emily raised lorelai in a conditional smothering love with expectations, and how that caused lorelai to overcompensate with rory by putting her on a pedestal so young as she wanted to give rory the happy childhood she never got. arguably, lorelai also smothered rory by putting expectations on her about going to harvard and being "the good kid who should never have sex ever" so rory wouldn't turn out like her mom. we see how rory ends up rebelling as she gains her agency, like how lorelai rebelled against emily. rory never had the space to fail until she got older and joined the real world, and i think a lot of viewers are too harsh on her character for being messy and imperfect and not always a good person. but in my opinion, rory still has a good heart, just like lorelai. that's one of the reasons i love rory and paris's friendship too. rory was so kind to paris throughout the series, even with paris's intense quirks (especially during chilton when teen paris would bully rory whenever she felt threatened) and at times violent mood swings. and paris did the same, tolerating but still poking at rory being this perfect golden child with the perfect life. of course, everyone is allowed to feel how they want about the media they consume, but alas.

if you read all of this... thank you, and im sorry lol.

also, so sorry to continue barraging you but im sleep deprived and love your blog and have a little bit more to add because i don't want it to seem like i was trying to over-defend rory. i just think all of the characters are written to be flawed but still worthwhile.

i agree that gossip girl paints serena solely as this golden girl that can never go wrong, but i think we do see that gilmore girls intentionally shows that rory does bad things and makes harmful choices. why else would amy sherman palladino write rory to sleep with a married man while having a self-righteous attitude? even though rory tries to defend it at first, i don't think the show itself does. lorelai reprimands her, she flies off to europe but then gets scolded in the middle of town by lindsay's mom, and then has a depressing relationship with dean where he's not even truly invested in her at that point. yes, she doesn't learn from that experience and still cheats and becomes the other woman again, but arguably she doesn't get a happy ending from it. she repeats the same mistakes well into adulthood (which is honestly realistic for a lot of people), but reaches a waking point at the end of the revival and it's a shame we didn't get to see how she could have redeemed herself.

she steals a yacht and has to do lengthy community service even though her grandparents try to buy her out of it, but rory has to learn a lesson like anyone else. the show makes a point to illustrate how truly privileged she is during that court scene, and how the judge doesn't reward her for it. then the show actually spends time on rory doing that community service while also losing herself in emily and richard's world due to her own poor choices.

i'm only listing some of the more severe examples, of course. she coasts through a looot of problems as well, but i don't think the show is bending to fit that and more-so that that was the foundation to begin with. from episode one, on paper rory is a spoiled only child that is at the very beginning of coming into her rich background. which is much to her mothers reluctance because of what that life of privilege brings. lorelai escaped it because of her parents' cruelty, but richard and emily were nothing but doting grandparents toward rory and 100% financially manipulated both girls while also helping rory's education along in ways most kids will never get. it's complicated but it was right there to begin with.

i think it's very realistic that characters and people alike can make bad choices and mistakes, yet not always get the proper consequences, whatever that would mean.

i'm really sorry if i'm being obnoxious but if you do decide to publish this, i hope you or others can connect with my take at all whether it's for or against. :)

You're good! I consistently write essays that only like, five people ever read, so I am not one to judge for long posts. Plus, I love it when people get excited about a discussion topic and share their thoughts with me, so this is great. I think I mostly agree with you. But I think what people find frustrating about Rory in particular is that even when she faces consequences for her mistakes, she never seems to learn from them or really grow. In A Year in the Life, she's still a spoiled kid who's sleeping with a married man and who still has an entire town of adoring people to fall back on when she's not just handed the things she believes she's entitled to. And like, is that realistic for someone like Rory? Sure. It makes a lot of sense why Rory would be like that. But it's not fun for the audience to watch. It feels grating and annoying to watch her constantly make the same mistakes. Paris is allowed to grow and learn and mature, but Rory kind of doesn't, and I think that's why people prefer Paris to Rory.

And I think it's especially frustrating for viewers because the show does have a lot of opportunities to give Rory character development and to show that she has learned something from her mistakes. As you say, she steals a yacht (because Mitchum Huntzberger tells her he doesn't think she'll be a good journalist and nobody has ever told her she's not good at something before), and all she has to do is community service. That's a show of privilege in itself- she could have easily been sent to jail for that if she was not wealthy or if she was a person of color. But even then, when the show wants us to think that she's hit rock bottom and to feel kind of sorry for her, she doesn't really learn anything. She just parlays her privilege into living in her grandparents' very nice house, gets her grandmother to give her a job, and then eventually she just goes back to Yale University as if nothing happened. And then she's shocked when the New York Times rejects her, as if Mitchum hadn't already told her that she needs to improve as a journalist if she's going to work in that field. The show could have had Rory lose all of her privilege due to the mistakes that she made. It could have shown her realizing how much worse things would have been for her if she was someone else, and have her fully accepting that she is someone who comes from privilege. It could have shown her really working to be taken seriously as a journalist, even in jobs that she considered to be "beneath her".

But instead, the same few storylines kind of just repeat for her: Rory is convinced she's entitled to something and doesn't get it, but doesn't learn anything from that about entitlement (and then often, the show assures us that Rory is actually really, really great, and the person who didn't give her the thing she felt entitled to was wrong); she sleeps with someone who's already in a relationship, but doesn't learn anything from that about respecting other people's relationships or her own dysfunctions with regard to relationships; she refuses to acknowledge the privilege she has, even though she has a lot of it. It may be realistic, but I just don't think it's good television from an audience standpoint.

[justcallmehvii]

im going to miss him so dearly. so so so much. im going to miss looking into his kind brown eyes-- the perfect shade of brown, a golden cast, a honeydew musk. his subtle yet familiar scent. his embracing presence. everything just feels so right, but at such a wrong time. im going to miss just hearing his sweet kind voice in the mornings and before my day ends, recognizing how hard he tries everyday. how much he cares and how much he doesn't want to show he cares yet shows anyway. how he wears his expressions on his sleeve and is surprised when i understand how he's feeling that day. I'm going to miss going past his room or knocking on his door and see him expecting me and welcoming me, ready to share how his day went and what cute thing some kid said to him. how he looks up from his computer raises his eyebrows, and lets a second of his warm gaze shelter me. im going to miss his awkward stance yet sturdy walk. im going to miss his awkward ways of reciprocating the time we give to him, but i can still see we have this unspoken understanding. first it was just an attachment. but truly caring for another soul in this manner is killing me, i never really knew what it was like but i know ill experience heartbreak for something that never truly ever happened except for in my heart, in the very core of my empathy as a person.

sometimes people and friends try to help me "get over" him by pointing out quirks but they only make me fall harder. he's just such a beautiful human being. and im mourning the loss of something that could've been in some other lifetime.

his imperfections do make him so perfect.

i know he has insecurities and has lived a long enough life to say its okay. but this one day he was on the verge of saying something. it was after i was vulnerable with him. all he could say is he just tries to fake it till he makes it, and seeing his eyes, it meant something more. and my heart is going to be crushed if he does not feel this intense love from someone, if he does not realize how special a butterfly he truly is. every sense of the word.

im crying, i have less that 4 days with him and in reality, it is just 5 hours. i have 5 hours with him and no one understands how much this hurts and will hurt even harder. foolish i sound and foolish i am but strongly i do feel. i am losing someone so dear to me. even if it is symbolically. he is symbolically dying for me in 5 hours and i can do nothing about it. and he probably doesn't even know about all of this.

he is a beautiful person.

i am out of breath. my breath has stopped. my heart has stopped. its not an exaggeration, its my heart's feelings ripped open for everyone to read. all my moral internal conflicts. all of it.

i am going to miss him so much.

this is what i mean when i say laughingly "can we go see if he is there?" "i think im down bad" "..." or nothing at all. this is what i currently feel in silence.

melodrama but one that pierces my soul. the very fibre of my being is bewildered at this situation but logic is defenestrated. i feel. i am human.

i feel. i am human. i desire to give and recieve love. and i am going to miss him

if you ask me how i am doing, this is it. this whole post on a stupid teenager's tumblr.

(fyi im actually in tears rn and my sister is arriving from the ariport soon im gonna have to pretend like everything is fine all weekend and emmerse myself in work idek what to do anymore, my birthday is approaching but no riches in the world will solve this situation for me)

— Mikko Harvey, from For M

[dailytatsu]

Hello! I saw request were open so i was wondering if i could request some headcanons of the Archons and/or the Adepti meeting a God reader who is the God of Chaos and destruction. The reader is not a Archon tho and travels all over Teyvat cuz small bits of destruction were ever they go. They're pretty mischievous and somewhat smug but despite how they act they're actually a good person. They dont mean to cause problems(most of the time anyways) chaos follows them were ever they go. Idk if you have a character limit but if you do please tell me so i wont make a mistake again. And if there is you can just do Zhongli and Xiao. Optionally could you make them a dendro user, there not a lot of dendro content and if not thats fine. I understand. Could you make the reader Gn or Non-binary they/them pronouns please? If not male reader is totally fine. Im so sorry for the long post and I hope you have a good day/night!

Ohmy, it’s my first time just writing headcanons! I’m use to write a lot, so let’s hope I did it right (^ ^' )7

Thanks for the request! ✨

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[HC] God of Chaos! Reader and the Archons + Xiao

Characters: Zhongli, Xiao, Venti, Shogun Raiden (Ei).

Gn! Reader

I tried doing it with everyone but I’m no still that confident to try writing with some characters ＿|￣|○

Sorry for any mistakes!

Request are open!

Genshin Masterlist

Second part ->

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VENTI

To be honest, he didn't notice your presence at first. He had other concerns on his mind that day to perceive the chaotic (and slightly threatening) aura that Mondstadt was infected with that day.

Barbatos is a person of habit, so he couldn't help but be curious when the crowd in front of him began to look a little agitated instead of seeming to enjoy his lyre and his songs.

But then a series of domino events appeared in front of his very eyes.

The purity of the chaos was such that he felt overwhelmed, even without the white-haired boy around, if it wasn’t Bennett fault, then how was it possible for everything to be ruined in such a short time?

His patience ended when, out of nowhere, the strings of his lyre jumped close to his face as they snapped. Making that awful noise that couldn’t mean nothing good.

Okay, enough, who is messing around in here? No more joking in his nation!

He concentrated a little, a faint but unique presence kept his nerves on edge, as if he was being watched from afar. He moved away from the busy areas and then chased that ephemeral energy to the highest point of the church, where the bells were ringing in an irregular and stressful way.

Then he found you. Snoozing against one of the columns, somewhat tired because the trip you made to reach Mondstadt.

Surprisingly, Barbatos understood you since the first exchange of words. A god of chaos who was also a free spirit, you followed no rules ever written in Teyvat, and you had no plans to apologize for the mess you made.

Both of you were Zhongli’s worst nightmare, but that’s another story.

He managed to through your arrogance and your teasing nature that you, in fact, were a lonely spirit that liked to witness the life from above of everyone.

The difference between teasing someone accidentally and committing a crime was really visible, but he still couldn't help but feel like he should scold you after your mere presence messed up with the guild's baskets full of fish.

But hey! He also enjoy the company! Venti tried to teach you how to enjoy the calm and the whisper of wind, music can also contain chaos, feelings, old stories waiting to be told again, expressions and desire united, in a wonderful piece of-

As you yawned his lyre broke up again. Making clear the message.

Okay, not even God of Freedom and Wind can control chaos. Anyways, what a tragedy, but there’s nothing a simple bard can do, smh.

“Do you like kids, don’t you?” He said once, after a nice day of hearing him sing before your chaos reached his little concert. Again watching everyone from above on the hands of the statue, with your attention caught by some kids playing tag.

“… I don’t know what do you mean.” Once discovered you had no choice but to remain defensive, pretending to be disinterested.

“Heh, you aren’t a good liar.” It may not be the wisest thing to make fun of someone who could destroy the place where you were resting, but Venti was confident that he knew you well enough to know that you were not so explosive. “You know!, I just have some pieces, but I think it’s because they are little walking concentrations of pure and innocent chaos, am I wrong?”

He wasn’t, no at all. But you would never confess something that embarrassing.

This guy wrote a ballad about the days when Mondstadt got immerse with that strike of bad luck. Kind of an apology of not being able to handle the situation.

Now there’s the rumor that says that, every time somebody sings that song, something unlucky will happen in front of you.

The song is cursed.

One night when the moon was shining on the Cider Lake his well tuned ears distinguished a melody that was broken from time to time by the accidents of his performer, distracting him of his way to look for you.

It could be painful to listen to, but Venti could certainly feel the dedication of the one who was playing the imperfect song.

The ballad of the god of chaos, hummed like a lullaby that instead of making you sleep makes you question the events of the day. Wishing for the slightest thing to be different after an exhaustive week of peace and tranquility.

A lonely spirits cursing their existence, sitting in the highest point of a stranger’s palace, where you can reach the sky by only rising your hand.

The next day, Barbatos invited you to drink some wine, this time near Windrise to avoid accidents in the city.

As he almost dropped the bottle when a lot of slimes were attracted by your presence, he confirmed the theory about that the way to spend time with you would not be his personal definition of hanging out.

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ZHONGLI

Okay, there’s only two scenarios that could happened when you set a foot in Liyue.

Old man has a soft spot for you for being a relative young deity.

Or he’s always lecturing you for not having control of your aura and powers.

How u dare bringing chaos to the nation of order? It’s that a death wish?

Jokes aside, you’re not really a threat. And he could sense that after he saw how you tried to avoid having direct contact with the city. Rex Lapis found your silhouette jumping and crossing through the mountains until reaching the fairest point that allowed you to enjoy the view of the streets that were filled with life and light as the sunsets.

He even noticed how you sighed in frustration when a storm started out of nowhere. A rain dedicated just for the arriving of the God of Chaos. Not even bothering of getting shield, you stayed in your place to look at all the people who were getting back to their places.

The rain seemed to stop over your head, for a second was enough to stop you from being cruelly swamped by the very weather you had created. An elegant umbrella covered you, the long awaited surprise you expected from someone as outdated as Morax.

You looked up, and found his expression calm and attentive, watching you. As if he had made a great discovery that he could not believe

“May I have a moment of your time to keep you company? Letting out your sorrows in the middle of a torrential storm is not what I would recommend as way to spend a good day.”

“… What are you talking about? Get in your own business, old man.”

“Well, you should know that a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved.”

Next time you knew was that he was helping you to dry your hair with a towel once you let him guide you to his place.

Zhongli picked you up like a abandoned cat that day. Even if having you near meant to deal with new the roof leaks.

Also kept you away from Hu Tao, if you two ever get along for being partners in crime he would seal himself underground-

For all the time you spend exploring Liyue, there he was. Like a little kid showing his treasures. But also like a worried father looking after his child for them not to stumble making their first steps.

Look at you! Almost crushing those Treasure Hoarders when a bunch of rocks fell down after you jumped at the edge of the cliff.

Wait, no- come back here! You should verify the surroundings and be aware of the weight of your power if you’re going to explore in that bold way. You, chaotic brat.

Another one who believed fervently that your mood was to blame for the constant chaos you caused. He also tried to show you the wonders of peace and calm, teaching you how to prepare tea while listening to the storyteller (also both being a little far away from the rest of them, just in case).

He couldn’t help but sigh when the teapot arm broke as soon as you tried to serve the tea. What a waste, he thought.

You apologized to him, kind of stressed with yourself after you took all the pieces with your bare hands to run away with them. Leaving a confused Zhongli behind.

Next day you were back, with the teapot repaired and just like new.

He let out a lot of thankful words, some flattering and a lot more cheesy things that you never had received before.

With that unexpected affection you couldn’t help but react flustered; then a cat that was chasing a bird jumped through a lot of decorations and merchandise, almost starting a fire as the chained events kept going.

Yeah,, uh, Zhongli got some useful mental notes about you and your chaos that day.

Hey, before you go, want to make a contract? You won’t regret it!

But as the wandering spirit you were you had no problems in reject his offer, but also promising that you would visit Liyue if he wanted you to.

Of course he wanted! But.. maybe next time you should stay in Huaguang Stone Forest instead of roaming near the city,,

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XIAO

Tried to kill you.

I mean, your aura is threatening and full of a destructive energy, how is possible that you weren’t a demon to eradicate??

Sorry, but he had a point.

Your first met was on your way to reach Huaguang Stone Forest along with Zhongli for introduce you with the Adeptus.

Xiao, in the other side, thought that you were about to attack Morax from behind, so he just struck against you. With his polearm near to go through your chest, just stopped because you felt him before.

Lifting your hand at his direction, summoning chaos, this time, on purpose. The wind gained a wrathful nature and the biggest roots that were hiding under his feet rose to caught him.

And when you were about to hit each other Zhongli’s shield appeared just in time to separate both of you. Preventing a real catastrophic event.

Now stop fighting and introduce to each other.

Nice(n’t) to meet u.

What if you tried to awake Azhdaha to bring chaos and destruction to Liyue? What if you wanted to summoned Osial? What if… ?

Zhongli had to confirm and promise to him that those cruel possibilities won’t be a near future for respecting the real reason of your travel.

No matter if he wasn’t comfortable with your presence, it wasn’t his decision to allow you to roam freely, so he had to get use to it.

He immediately knew after hearing about your nature that was your fault that lately there were a lot more demons and monsters. Even his karma was getting more painful than usual.

(If you ever meet Hu Tao, please think twice before doing Xiao a prank)

You both didn’t interact a lot, and being honest, it was better that way.

He hadn’t a single intention of talking with you again until the day you were practicing the song that your Anemo friend taught you. By the other hand, Xiao noticed that the melody had the same nature as the one he once heard before being consumed by the karma.

It wasn’t a flute, but a worn lyre that was still in one piece after weeks of being repaired again and again.

“That song… ”

“Do you know it?” Xiao just nodded, staying in silence, being your very first audience even if you still have a lot to learn about playing a lyre.

It wasn’t as effective as the original, but was still… nice, kind of nostalgic.

Next morning, the Yaksha called for you. Made you stay still in the middle of a plain and then he disappeared of your sight.

He abandoned y- wait, what’s that? Why those monsters has that weird dark aura?

You were about to defend yourself until Xiao appeared back just in time to defeat them.

That day you became his personal bait for demons and monsters. Naturally you attracted chaos, so anyway you were, there will be also something to fight.

I guess this is your way to pay for all the troubles you made for him and his duty, so no complaining about it.

If you ask for a unexpected experience to Ganyu she would said that once she found both of you fighting along against the catastrophe, looking after each other’s back and almost having a perfect synchrony.

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SHOGUN RAIDEN; EI

Also tried to kill you.

Well, the puppet tried to.

And then Ei tried when you had the opportunity of facing her.

But since killing a god just mean the releasing of a lot, pure, energy she couldn’t afford that risk, much less considering your “speciality”.

Who knows what would happen to Inazuma if your vital energy burst across the nation. Just like that old story about Sal Terrae and their goddess.

She just defeated you. Letting you rest and recovering in the midst of the plane of her reality within her mind. Your inert body in the middle of the battlefield as she kept meditating.

When you woke up she ignored your presence, but also denying your complaints about letting you go out back.

In her words, you were a burden, another enemy of eternity. Something as unpredictable as you and your “accidents” couldn’t get along with her utopia.

Ei could banish you from Inazuma, but she knows your type. Stubborn and not accepting the most simple orders to obey.

She knew that you would found a way to be back.

It’s better like this.

And in the hypothetical case of you being freed when she trapped the traveler (kicking you out) and then having a chance to see her again after the end of the war, then things would be somewhat different.

There’s not that much of civilization on some islands, so she allowed you to explore as much as your heart wanted. But if something serious happen, she promised that would end her work in the middle of the sea so your remains never be found.

Okay, message clear. Just do chaos near monsters and bandits, got it,,

Even if she wanted to spend some time with you and telling you some stories about Inazuma and other gods she couldn’t found the right time to call you at her presence.

As the current ruler of Inazuma she was busier than the rest of Archons you have meet. Maybe just some letters now and then like a way to keep a logbook, but not really a face to face talk.

Until she got the opportunity of a day off, just to found you messing around near some ruins. Trying to solve a puzzle before your speciality strikes in. The structure fell down after your fingertips reached the stone.

When the dust dissipated, you discovered her figure judging you from the other side of the remain ruins.

Give her a good reason for not errase you from the map, I dare u.

You felt the worst was about to come when Ei ordered you to follow her after a long sigh. Crossing her arms and starting to walk away from the bunch of old and worn rock.

Plot Twist, she actually invited you to rest under a tree, asking in her serene voice the reason for your journey and your origin. In such a direct way that it seemed more like a sentence than a talk to get to know each other better.

You answered what you could remember and then the silence stayed like the only way of interaction between you two.

Ohno, you know this pattern. Something’s about to happen-

“There is some strange beauty in the chaos, it may be the calm after the storm, but the catastrophe itself is seen as a necessary evil to appreciate the stillness. How much it would last until the lighting hit the valley?”

“So I arrived to keep order between the humans?”

Well yes, but actually no.

“… You see, if there is nothing but order and a lack of problems, mortals are likely to create them on their own. Their minds feels the need to be tested, to prove their worth, so I guess some of your chaos may be part of the history.”

“… then shall we take a walk in Inazuma?” You did not know if you were right, but you thought you saw a faint smile through his lips in the same way that lightning can be seen in the sky.

“I’ll allow it.” She said.

Her only condition was for you not to approach the huge boxes of fireworks down the street.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello miss raven! I feel like this is a silly and weird question but out of all the chapters which one is your favourite? My favourite is chapter 5 (vil looked pretty 🙏)

I also wanna say that i really love the writtings you've made! Its one of my comforts when im feeling down ^^ it helps me cheer up when im not feeling ok. You were also the reason why i downloaded tumblr and started writting! Your writtings was my inspiration to actually still continue to wanting writtings ❤ i came across your blog when i was searching for twst fanfics (ehe) and ever since i've been following you on tumblr!

First of all, thank you ^^ I’m happy that my writing brings you joy and inspiration, and I hope that I’m able to keep providing that. (And no worries, no question is silly or weird! Every writer has to take a break every now and again, and what better way to do that then talk about something you enjoy?)

My favorite chapter (so far) is 4! I liked how most of that chapter scaled things down to focusing on a few characters at a time, whereas the other chapters (even 1) tried to focus on too many characters at once. I also enjoyed the beginning part which gives a slight nod to how the others we’ve met this far are going to spend their winter breaks. It really makes the world feel more “alive”, as the characters acknowledge that they have lives and issues outside of being NRC students. (Side note, Crowley in a Hawaiian shirt was amazing—)

Jamil’s scheme arguably wasn’t the best (because let’s be honest here, what would have happened if he did succeed? How would he explain to his family and Kalim’s what happened? What would be stopping Kalim’s family from using their power/money to “fix” things?), but I like how the conflict had an “imperfect”, but realistic, ending. It opens up a lot of potential for Jamil and Kalim’s already complicated relationship, and that’s a topic I’d really like to explore more in my writing.

Octavinelle also really got a chance to shine this chapter, which I loved. An issue I had with chapter 3 is that most of their evil scheming is done off screen and the worst lying/manipulation they ever do is just telling half truths. On top of that, the twins didn’t really get to do anything but be generic henchmen and resort to violence rather than using their intelligence to hold up Yuu and co. I know the Octatrio can be more cunning than that, and chapter 4 really delivered what was promised of chapter 3. (Azul and Jamil being petty to one another is also just hilarious 😂 I wish the other chapters had had more of the OB boys interacting with each other in a similar way.)

Worth noting here! 👉👈 Before chapter 4 came out, I was really struggling to find a favorite character. Initially, I latched onto Azul because I liked the whole mermaid mob boss vibe, but at the end of chapter 3, I lost all interest in him. I’m not into the... “acts cool and tough but it’s actually a front to hide his softness/insecurity” trope, it’s just not my thing.

Like I mentioned before, the twins came off as generic henchmen in chapter 3, so I never found myself liking Jade by the end of it. Chapter 4 was when Jade had a chance to actually show off how much of a rat bastard he is (tricking Kalim, recording Jamil’s plan, calling Kalim pathetic for being so kind and forgiving, that whole line about what Jade would do to anyone that betrayed him...). Then I committed to him, and I haven’t been sane ever since 😔

[justasimplesinner]

hii 😊😊😊

can i request something with eddie from arkham city with a s/o with a bunny lingerie trying to be sexy for him but beginning to cry because feel insecure and think that she's not good enough

(sorry for the bad english~~)

anythin for you darlin, im gonna make this gender neutral tho if you dont mind. all people in bunny lingerie are just🥵🥵

Arkham City!Ed with an insecure s/o hcs:

Edward prides himself in being unlike any other man, claiming that he's always in control and everything he does is very carefully thought-through, his mind dominating over emotions/urges or whatever it is he tells himself. but at the end of the day, he's still just a human, just a man. you've caught him sneaking glances at you here and there, subtly (or so he thought) ogling every part of you, his eyes catching on a few curves, and the way he touched you with such greed and almost desperation filled you with this weird kind of confidence

and that weird kind of confidence was exactly what landed you right here, in front of a mirror, half-naked and crying. you wanted to do something nice for him, display everything you had to offer, so to speak - since he was so fond of your body, you knew he would enjoy a little private show just for him. but looking at yourself now, you couldn't help but wonder, just exactly what he was fond of? what was there to be fond of?

you weren't all that insecure, but seeing yourself like this, almost every part of you exposed, it hit different. suddenly you were faced with all those little imperfections you usually didn't pay any mind, and you were starting to question how could someone even find you physically attractive. how could Edward find you attractive at all. did he just simply indulge you out of pity? he wouldn't do that, it made no sense, but what other reason could there be? suddenly, you were starting to doubt everything about yourself, paranoia kicking in hard

in all of this, you completely forgot you asked Ed to come to the bedroom until it was too late. you heard the doorknob moving and the door creaking, but your panicked "nos" and "don't come ins" came out just that second too late and now you had to face a very taken aback and very distracted Edward

he tried asking you what was going on and you tried explaining, but it was hard to do with the lump in your throat and shaking hands running over your face and hair as you did your best to hide yourself from him. what were you even supposed to say? "hey, i wanted to be sexy for you but realised i'm incapable of being attractive?"

Edward is very confused, to say the least. by your... clothing choice, by your crying, by your words. for a moment, he can't really process what's going on and the fact that you're standing in front of him half-naked isn't helping. he didn't know whether to focus on your words or body, although his eyes had a really hard time not straying away from your crying face at times. oh shit, crying, right-

he'll cautiously get closer and try to calm you down, make sure you can control your voice before you speak, but you just start apologizing for... everything, really. eventually, Ed just sits you down on the bed and makes you steady your breathing, holding your shoulders to ground you until you're able to talk

he's absolutely appaled by your reveleations. you think you're what now? he almost scolds you how dare you ever say anything that isn't love-filled praise about yourself, like he'd do if someone else ever dared to even mildly insult you, but catches himself in time. he can't really comprehend why in the world would you think you're anything less than perfect? have you seen yourself? every single part of you is utterly divine, you're god-like to him

his own speech makes his eyes wander over the features he mentions, making him get a little distracted, but he's determined to show you just how beautiful you are. do you really think he'd go for anything other than ideal? you're always so kind and understanding, you have so much patience for him and the smarts other people could only dream of. and your body? good lord, he has not seen something quite as exquisite in all his years of living

honestly, he gets so hyped up and passionate you can't help but laugh at how absolutely fucking horrified he is that you could ever think bad about yourself. he goes on and on and you don't even have time to get flustered because of your constant chuckle outbursts at how animated he is and also how comically his eyes insist on travelling lower than he'd prefer them to every once in a while

at some point, he just starts chuckling too, he doesn't even find anything funny, he's still outraged, but you're laughing so he's laughing too and then suddenly you're throwing your head back and expose the curve of your neck and he can't help but admire you, because holy shit how did he ever get so lucky, and you two are kissing now, what-

yeah, technically the surprise still worked as planned

[darth-does-stuff]

ok so i need to place this information somewhere and i just decided id post it here 

 idk if im even gonna post the actual superhero au fic but im posting it here anyways

 this superhero au is gonna fit all the angst in here because there is little angst in the chaos crew au lmao

but here are the separate arcs each is gonna face in this au under the cut

(there is gonna be some graphic stuff so be warned)

(it is also going to be very long)

heed the tags guys

Logan

A very important factor for his entire character in this au is that he has cybernetics. His right eye, his left arm, and the lower half of his left leg. This happened due to an explosion, his arm and lower left leg essentially blown off, and shrapnel piercing his eye. 

His arc centers around his cybernetics, thinking they are a burden, and feeling like he doesn’t fit in, along with feeling inadequate. 

Logan struggles with thinking that his cybernetics aren’t truly a part of him, just something he has to deal with. A burden. He resents it, there’s no sugarcoating it. He wishes he had his human limbs back.

 In his arc, he’ll deal with the fact he has them, and that no amount of wishing will ever change it. He accepts them as a part of himself, an imperfect part, for sure, but every human is imperfect. Hell, even human parts of himself are imperfect, so it fits right in. 

Before he accepts it as a part of himself, though, he deals with feelings of inadequacy. People often pitied him (keep in mind they thought he had prosthetics), trying to ‘lighten the load’ for him. He appreciated the thought, but they never let him do anything. He felt like they were belittling him. Logan tried to brush it off, but deep down, he worried that he truly was inadequate. Was he weak? Should he even be doing these things? Was he good enough? Sometimes...Logan felt he wasn’t.

But, once he hits the arc with accepting his cybernetics, he faces this feeling of inadequacy and proves it wrong. He’s been doing things normal humans couldn’t dream of and the city’s still thriving. He’s faced countless robbers, countless villains, and found a home with the team. He was good enough. He was okay. He’d be fine. Of course, sometimes he’d still have those feelings of not being good enough, but he could deal with it now. It wasn’t something that haunted his nightmares.

But, even after the whole cybernetic arc, he still faces the problem of not fitting in. Even before having superpowers and cybernetics, he wasn’t like other children. He was the eldest child, so his parents were basically helicopter parents, afraid he was going to get hurt in some way. As he got older and he had more siblings, they got a bit more lax, but he still hadn’t done things normal children had done. He didn’t explore, didn’t interact much with other children (though that was more of his doing), barely went outside, and had his every move basically monitored. Logan preferred reading a book to playing at the park, drawing a picture instead of hanging out with friends, etc., etc. So, he always felt a bit like an outsider. It only got worse once he had the incident. 

Now, he had fucking powers and literal robotics attached to his body, and he was scared. He was angry. He was...confused. How would his life change? What would happen to him? Then, all of a sudden, he got roped into being a fucking vigilante and just had to deal with it.

Then, he joins this team, all of them so much more normal than him, and he still doesn’t know what to do. He’s scared they are going to judge him, belittle him, like so many before them had done.

But...they don’t. They accept him, they joke with him, they are happy with him. And, he slowly starts to relax. He comes out of his shell and he feels...complete. It’s okay he isn’t normal. It’s okay he doesn’t exactly fit in. Everything is okay. 

He doesn’t blame his parents for being helicopter parents, he still loves them and his siblings. He knows they were worried about him. Sure, they did mess up, but he’s made countless mistakes in his life too. He doesn’t blame them or his siblings. They helped him become who he is and he is eternally grateful for that.

Patton

Patton faces the problem of his public image and his own self-image. In public and when he is Typhoon, he puts on this bright and chipper personality. And it’s grueling to keep up because that is not who he truly is. He’s much more mischievous, much more sarcastic, much more brash, much more himself. 

He tries to keep up this optimistic persona because he doesn’t want backlash. He’s afraid of what people would say if they saw the real thing. So, he puts up an image. Smile, all the time. Wave enthusiastically. Don’t let them see through you. Act like you’re fine. You always have to be fine, right? That’s what Patton thinks, at least.

With his arc, he slowly learns to just accept himself. It helps when Virgil joins the team, because he sees him not putting up a facade. He acts himself, dark and broody, sarcastic and sardonic. And nobody really questioned it or gave him backlash. Patton has this moment of ‘Oh’ because he realizes that he can show what he truly is. He no longer has to hide.

When he first starts showing himself as he actually is, he’s scared. It’s only natural, no matter how much you prepared for it, you will still be scared. Some people notice. There are a few news articles as some just want drama. But, his team, his friends, his family backs him up and it strengthens his resolve. He learns to ignore those types of people, knowing they only want drama. He can finally be...himself.

Roman

Oh boy, this is going to be a doozy.

Roman’s angst is that his entire world view changes, his beliefs (not religious) crumble. Everything just seems to flip for him.

Roman had always thought that everyone could be redeemed. No matter the deed. Everyone deserves a second chance. He’s faced criminals and villains with this belief at the forefront of his mind. 

When everything else seemed to be crumbling around him, this belief sustained him. It kept him going. It was a constant when nothing else stayed the same.

But now? Now everything is foreign. Everything is changing with nothing being that constant that he so desperately needed. This situation he is facing hits even closer to home because--well, I’m afraid I can’t say because of spoilers, but let’s just say it may involve a certain mustached villain ;)

But, anyways, in his arc, he realizes that everything can’t just be sunshine and daisies. He’s known this before, but it hits full force now. He has to accept that some people can’t be redeemed, that some are just...evil. He hates to admit it, but he knows it’s true.

His friends--no, family backed him up. They helped him with this realization, helped to make sure he doesn’t break. And he is so, so, so, so grateful and thankful for them.

He knows that some people can’t change. He’s...well, he’s not fine with it, but he accepts it at the very least. And when he looks around at his family, seeing how genuine and kind they are, he knows that, no matter what, all he needs is his family to survive.

Virgil

He faces problems with his self-esteem, his own anxiety, and his fear of lack of self-control.

He has little self-esteem. He always has, really. Since he was a kid, he always overthought everything he did, criticized himself severely, always tried to push himself harder, in unhealthy amounts. It all left him feeling so tired.

He kept doing this even into adulthood, checking himself, always wondering if he could do better, barely feeling good about things he did. Things he wanted to be proud of, but just couldn’t.

When he joins the team, it’s a slow process. He was immensely afraid of being judged, of being insulted, of them. They were all these heroes the city recognized and praised and he was left feeling like shit, in his mind at least. He felt like he couldn’t keep up. Virgil kept trying to push himself harder to at least try and be on the same level as them, but ended up pushing much too hard, passing out from exhaustion and stress.

They realized his mindset, having had once had this mindset themselves, and help him deal with it, help him try to minimize it because it’s not something you can be fully rid of. They know this themselves because sometimes they still get those moments, where they feel they aren’t doing enough and push harder, too harder. But, the best they can do is to deal with it. And that’s exactly what Virgil does. 

His anxiety is also a doozy. 

It holds him back so much. Especially with fear of failing. He doesn’t want to fail anybody. He wants to do the best he can and do it perfectly. But, the problem is that he can’t. He knows he can’t and it terrifies him. His anxiety and fear of failing prevent him from doing so many things just because of what could go wrong. 

The team also helps with this. They provide somebody he can rant to and offer solutions and different types of perspective. They help him to realize that if you only worry about what could go wrong, then you wouldn’t be able to do anything, you wouldn’t be able to live. Because with that mindset, you aren’t living, you are only surviving. 

And they help Virgil see this point. Help him to not let his anxiety hold him back from things he really wants to do. And it provides him with so many opportunities. 

They all know that sometimes, it’s going to happen. Sometimes, Virgil just can’t be able to do something because the fear practically paralyzes him. It’s like with his self-esteem issues. It’s not something you can be rid of, just something you have to deal with. They help him when this happens, help bring him back to reality and help to calm him down.

Lastly, his fear of no self-control. You have to remember that their powers can be heavily influenced by emotions. Strong bursts of emotions can work it into overdrive. Too much use of their powers can also use all of their energy. In very extreme cases, it can lead to death.

But, while Virgil is also afraid of the side effects, he’s mostly afraid of what his powers can do to other people, innocent people. And, to him, it’s a found fear. It’s happened before. He’s hurt others without meaning to and he vowed to never do it again. This is partly why he became a vigilante, to protect others instead of hurting them. But he is so afraid of still harming them and he has nightmares about it. It practically haunts him. He fears turning into those killers and villains he’s fought.

Once again, the team is very helpful in debunking this. They’ve explained their own experiences, explained how they themselves have hurt innocents without meaning to, and it’s something you have to just...deal with, like all other problems. It doesn’t make you a bad person. Him worrying about being a bad person just proves furthermore that he isn’t. After all, a bad person wouldn’t care about it. But, he does. And that is what provides the difference. 

Janus

spoilers spoilers spoilers

Remus

spoilers spoilers spoilers-

[goldafterglow]

embellished lungs

Summary: Ezra buys a pretty thing for a pretty thing.

Request: hc about what renders Ezra speechless 😶 - @lose-eels (this is not even what you asked for but fuckin here ig im sorry sgkfjdshg)

Pairing: Ezra x reader

Word Count: 2.6k+

Warnings: a big fat drabble?, very really soft, not beta read and tbh barely even normal read i read this maybe twice oops

Author’s Note: i almost put this just like under the ask but I’m not gonna sit here and act like this is a drabble bc i’m a clown. i don’t want to talk about it. and spitting this out bc I was soft for Ezra and @mrpascals made me

Gif Cred: my wife and my baby @pascalplease

masterlist | taglist modifications

He spies it in the open market while he’s stocking up on supplies.

The day is hot, the Sun bearing down on its disciples with a violent red fury, but it’s light is strong, bright. Everything is reflective, hot to the touch from boiling in the heat, and all of the creatures begin to melt together like dyed wax to form one big discernable blob, if you really squint. Ezra’s sweat escapes the barrier of his brows and leaks past his lashes, dragging across his eyes and stinging a little, blurring his vision and dripping onto his arms, but he doesn’t care. He’s far too exhilarated.

The market in itself is absolutely brilliant to him; he’s always been enthralled by this, by people and pretty things, and to be completely surrounded by both felt like something akin to sensory overload. His heart is racing at the sight of people traversing the dirt road, loitering and browsing through produce colored so vibrantly he wonders if the bright red apples and deep indigo berries have been dipped in the tinted glow of fairies that dance in the forest. And he’s utterly taken by the art and trinkets. He’s always had a little soft spot for art - a tender, exposed section of his beating flesh that is so sensitive, so delicate and so easy to provoke. And right now, he seems like he’s subject to a battering ram, pounding against his chest in the best way possible.

His eyes dart around quickly as he tries his best to take everything in. He finds himself cherishing every little interaction, every stranger whose shoulder he is forced to brush in an attempt to make his way through the market, every vendor that begs to him, calls to him to try “just one last berry sir. I’m sure your lover will be delighted by the raspberries from yesterday’s harvest.” He ended up buying a quaint six ounces just so that he could feed them to you. But that would be a treat for later.

And just like that, he is thinking of you. The prettiest, most beautiful thing. A sculpture with imperfections so perfect that he knows it must have taken eons to craft you out of gold and diamonds and the soft fluff of hummingbird feathers and butterfly wings. You are art, a walking, breathing, touchable piece that he gets to admire up close. It’s a privilege, really, to have been gifted with Kevva’s finest handiwork.

As his pupils peruse the stands, admiring his surroundings, they suddenly become frozen in place, permanently stuck on a little trinket that’s caught his attention: a necklace. The gem sitting in the center isn’t aurelac; it’s much more vibrant, much more dramatic and almost rainbow when he looks at it from different angles. The chain isn’t long, and knowing you the gem would fall right between your collarbones. He can already envision you wearing it, like a child flicking watercolors onto the Venus de Milo, but he wants to see his deep green paint draped around your shoulders. The way he sees it when you wear his clothing, when you’re adorned with bruises of his passion like stars adorn the sky, when you wear him. It’s intoxicating, seeing that he’s had any impact on your life and that you parade it around like a trophy. That you think about him without him prompting you to do so - not that he isn’t constantly in your presence. But he wants to buy it just so that he can see you wear it. Perhaps even only wear it.

He’s already thinking about how fucking gorgeous you would look in it. He is thinking about putting it on you, tugging on it ever so lightly in a way that signals to you - that is, rather than exerting any true force on you - that he wants a kiss. Perhaps pulling on it a little harder so that metal bites your skin and you can feel it, feel him digging into the soft flesh of your neck. Now he’s imagined a thousand scenarios in which he can have his way with you just by getting you to wear this piece, and he has to purchase it.

When the vendor finally hands it to him, packaged with care and placed deep into the hollow of a black velvet box, he finds that it barely fits in his pocket. He doesn’t care, though, because it’s too exquisite an accessory to be thrown in with the other supplies and it’s too precious for him to take it out of the box. He’s excited when he comes back to the pod, back home where you are.

Home is you.

He assumes you must’ve heard him come in, the pod door loud and rambunctious as he dumps the bags into the center of the pod space and then crawls in himself - it was hard enough with two arms, nonetheless one. He lets out a sight as if to let the excitement drain out his vessels and into the atmosphere of the cockpit, mingling with the peace and solitude to create a soft buzz that zings through his ears and vibrates his eyes. The exhilaration from being the market was utterly electric, but he is home now. He can crawl into you, let you absorb into him, and he likes how you can make his heart race a million miles and yet also pacify him, a cold compress to his aching soul to help reduce inflammation. He wants to maintain that semblance of the intricate pastel harmony, adorned in lilac and peach hues. So he stands in the middle of the cockpit and closes his eyes, lets himself sway to the rhythm of his lungs for a moment. Just a fraction of solitude, and he doesn’t mind because ever since he met you he has never felt lonely, not even when he’s alone. He always feels you with him.

Once his head has cleared, he palms at his pocket where the little black box still resides, as if to check that he hadn’t dreamt up some fantasy ornament that would look so perfect on you. It’s still there; of course it is, and he feels foolish for thinking that the pretty butterflies would have fluttered it out and flown it away, but sometimes he wonders if the same thing will ever happen to you. If one morning he will wake up and you will have migrated with the birdies, off to seek true warmth because you’re not real, because nothing so good as you could ever be caged by him.

He steps into your shared bedroom and spies you with your back to the entrance. The room is cool, but you’ve elected to wear his shirt, even foregoing pants. His favorite outfit of yours, and he knows you know it. You’re wearing headphones, something he’d picked up for you on your last supply run, and he can tell you’re playing one of those instrumental stations you so adore listening to when you were working. A mutely-colored map is stretched out onto the desk, and he’s not even sure you can focus the music because your mind is moving faster than your poor hand can keep up as you mark up a new dig site. He almost feels bad for interrupting you while you’re in such deep concentration, your forehead smashed into wrinkles without even noticing, but Ezra cannot resist his greed for your attention. Ever so gently, he places his hand on your shoulder from behind so as not to startle you.

You almost immediately register the delicate touch, turning the radio off and pulling your headphones off your ears so you can give this kind artist your undivided attention - Kevva herself knows he's earned it. You turn your head to face him, craning your neck back so you can take his softly smiling depiction like pressing a plush blanket into your face.

“Hey, pretty boy,” you coo, letting your pen fall tumultuously from your hand. The sound of it clanging against the table and then rolling around to a stop fills the room, but you can’t hear it; Ezra is talking now.

“Hey, sweet stardust,” he greets back, voice orange and warm like the heat that simmers under the stars during the summer at midnight.

Comfortable.

 “Hey” was never his preferred salutation, and he’d tried to omit it from his vocabulary for so long, but he started to notice that he likes it when you say to him. Like a little pearl of your voice, so sweet like honey with the honeycomb still mixed in, a little grainy and so cheeky.

“Did you get everything we need?” you ask, beginning to stand to that you can press a hand to his chest, grounding him to the pod and to your sanctuary soul. Ezra grins wide, unable to hide his excitement at your words.

“I in fact exceeded our needs, sweet rose bud,” he says with a pride that fills up your chest and makes you want to hold him tight because you love when he gets giddy like this, with the childlike enthusiasm of showing your parents the shitty drawing you made or your ugly macaroni art. Ezra is light, his tone airy. “I happened to spot a gem that reminded me of your vision and I couldn’t resist the urge to get it.”

You brow furrows a little, not out of confusion but out of curiosity. Ezra’s taste has always inspired you, and you knew his never ending quest for art is always in an attempt to find beauty in everything. You don’t even have to look at it to know that it will be stunning because his stamp of “pretty” approval is your gold standard.

He pulls the box out and opens it facing you so that you can get a good look, really admire it, and you are already taken by the shimmering pendant.

“Oh Ezra, it's - it’s utterly magnificent,” you gush, and he can spot that little glimmer in your eyes that you get when you’re looking at something that you’re enamored with; they way you look when you’re gazing at him. You raise your chin to look at him, his cheeks rosy with delight and sweet eyes crinkled at the corners. “Put it on me.”

It’s not so much of a demand as it is a gentle instruction; you know he wants to, know he’s been thinking about it since he bought it, and you want to be open to him. You want to invite him into your heart, inside of the flower garden of your chest, with open arms because he deserves to feel wanted.

You help him pull the chain out of the bottom of the box, keeping one end in your right hand and letting him take the clasp in his left. He wills himself to move slowly, to savor every little stimulation you send through his skin as he steps behind you. His fingers press against your clavicle, tracing along the bone before traveling up over the valley of your shoulder, tips of his hands brushing against your throat. He is feeling you, mapping out your body because he’ll never get to see an angel in his life but he’s certain you must be the spitting image.

You can feel his breath against your skin, hot and intoxicating as a small film of dampness coats your exposed back and neck. Your right hand rests at the nape of your neck, waiting expectantly, but you don’t rush him. He takes his sweet, sugary time, because the surface of your skin feels like he’s running his fingers through a field of silicone needles, firm but harmless as they stimulate a sensation he never knew he could feel before he touched you for the first time. You’re addictive, the best high he’s ever gotten, and he almost lets his hand lose all abandon and travel so carefully down the front of your body, palming your breast along the way and pressing right into your diaphragm before he keeps going down, down, down…

Almost.

But he will save it for a later time, especially since he’d been fantasizing about you wearing the necklace like a carefully chiseled bust is adorned with sashes. So finally, after what feels like hours of roaming and teasing, you feel that calloused, worn sensation of your lover’s fingers seeking solace against yours. You pin your breath to your lungs, not daring to let it go as you wait for the heavy release of his hand indicating that the necklace is secure. But even once you feel it, even as you let your right hand fall down at your side, Ezra does not take his hand off of you. You don’t want him to.

Slowly, so that he never has to cease his touch, you turn to face him. You’re still looking down at the pendant, in awe of how the gem rests so perfectly between your collarbones. You can’t see Ezra’s adoring gaze, his completely awestruck fixation on how ethereal you are to him. Like you’re emitting a golden glow, too hot to touch and yet begging, inviting his fingers to feel and press and hold. 

Celestial.

He feels his emotions expand in his stomach, diaphragm threatening to spasm. His hand trails up to your chin, palming your jaw as he tenderly lifts your line of sight so that he can see your pretty eyes.

“You’re divine,” he mumbles to you, not wanting to disrupt the tight silence, so tense he’s afraid of speaking too loud lest it break and snap against his cheek leaving an angry raised brand.

Overwhelmed with appreciation, you balance your hands on his shoulders and press a gentle kiss to his cheek, letting it linger so you can savor the honeysuckle dew on his skin. “I love it,” you whisper with a grin.

Ezra giggles.

When you pull back to face him proper, his face is utterly red. His smile reaches the lobes of his ears, bashful and boyish like his belly has just been tickled by the sweetest of baby chicks, and he can barely get a word out. He can’t speak. His mind is in overdrive, completely inundated with a blistering adoration for you and your approval because you said you loved it. His gift is not a splash of children’s watercolors; it is a clean swipe of gold running along your jaw, accenting your beauty and emphasizing just how exquisite you are to him.

“Yeah?” he managed, a soft giggle still passing his lips like the first cries of a baby deer, the first flutters of a newly hatched butterfly.

Adorable.

You can’t resist the urge to giggle back, placing a hand at the nape of his neck and pulling him in for a true kiss on his glittery lips. It only lasts seconds, however, because Ezra can’t stop smiling and you can’t stop giggling, so you both settle for the blissful solitude of pressing your foreheads against one another, breathing in each other's air and taking up the same space.

“It’s gorgeous, Ezra. Thank you,” you whisper lightly so that the wisps of air tickle his upper lip, and suddenly he is so inclined as to press his left arm into the small of your back so that you’re so much closer and kiss you the way you deserve; a dynamic series of long, deep, searing kisses that send you to the clouds and drop you into an endless pit of lavish fluff at the same time. You don’t know how he does this, makes you feel like you don’t exist and that there isn’t anything in the world but you and him, and you often wonder if it’s because Ezra is within you, or that your broken parts and his broken parts make some hauntingly majestic sculpture of its own; something better than the fucking Venus de Milo or Athena or Great Sphinx because it should be something so hideous and yet it feels to utterly priceless to you.

It’s precious.

ppl that asked to be tagged: @gustavos @catfishingmorales @keeper0fthestars @1zashreena1 @blancatobarxoxo @honeyedspace @chaotic-noceur @opheliaelysia @adikaofmandalore @din-damn-djarin @mrsparknuts @girlwithanewplan @mrschiltoncat @cryptkeepersoul @buckstaposition @the-feckless-wonder @cocoatales @agentpike @cryptkeepersoul

ppl that did not ask no ma’am no sir: @ergotautology @dindjarindiaries @pascalplease​

again, you can join/leave my taglist here :)

[tasteofgummies]

Can i request a relationship with jonathan and also joseph(part3 specifically) 👉👈

Im nonbinary and use they/them, but like to be called "boyfriend" when it comes to relationships. I love being called petnames like "darling," "pretty boy," "angel," and "sweetie."

Im about 5'0 (thats 152.4cm) with a small frame and im really into tall people. 👀

I know a lotta useless information and i hyperfixate on certain topics (i have ADHD).

I'm really bad at math and reading, and generally im not very smart, but i am full of LOVE :)

Im a good listener, but often ask people to repeat themselves if i was hardcore spacing off while they were talking. Im good with animals. Im pretty good at drawing. Im really cuddly. I really like fire bc it is neat. Its easy to make me laugh, usually at dumb stuff that aren't actually real jokes. If you say "peepee" to me i will cackle and that is a threat.

I quote memes and vines a lot. And if the person im talking to doesnt get it, i will show the meme/vine to them on the spot.

If someone says something mean to me, i usually let it roll off my back, but some things just stick with me and make me feel self-conscious forever. I need reassurance if im not in a good mental headspace.

I hope that info isnt waaaay too specific 😭 thanks for reading all that lmao 🙏

Sorry for the wait, really, i was without internet because of the place, but here it is 💜

Jonathan x you ✨

•Jonathan is also very full of love, he loves you so much that the "warm feeling in his chest" is now a giant forest fire situation

•He doesn't like when you call yourself "not very smart" at all, you are very smart! He will reassure the hell outta you when you say that

•Can and will listen to your favorites topics for hours! You can always see his "i'm so in love with my angel" smile while you talk

•This man right here is the king of pet names, sometimes he wants to call you by your name but his mouth just says: "My love, what time is it?", "Darling boy, how have you been?"

•He's never upset to repeat himself, he gets that you space off sometimes, and that's fine

•Like we could see with Danny, Jonathan is an animal lover, so he's quite joyful his boyfriend is good with them

•"The animals love you for your pure heart, angel, just like i do" he says while you got a puppy in your lap

•In his birthday, he asks for a portrait of yourself, please 👉👈 He would love to have it in his room and kiss it every night

•Makes campfires for you, and you eat marshamellows together

•Jonathan doesn't fully understand your humor, but finds it cute

•He search for "most popular vines to quote" in Google, the boy tries

•Very angry when someone is mean to you, and won't let them get away with it

•"You should reconsider what kind of person makes such a beautiful person feel bad for pleasure! That was unkind from you and you don't have the right to speak to my darling or to anyone like that"

•When you aren't at your best, giant teddy bear Jonathan Joestar is there to help, he will praise you all you need as he kisses all of what you call "imperfections"

Joseph x you ✨

•He calls you baby boy, pretty boy or simple plain Honey, but is very likely that he has another c u r s e d petnames

•Joseph Joestar is an asshole who makes fun of your height, but he's also really into it, makes him want to protect you 🥺

•You remind him of his old days, so he's smooth with you

•Young Joseph probably will be learning about the topics you hyperfixate in, but this one is just listening and ocassionally asking

•He's not annoyed at all for having to repeat himself with you, only a little concerned if you're a Crusader, because he's scared you were spacing off while he was giving information that could help you in case you were in danger

•Joseph likes dogs, and loves how every animal you pet in the streets starts following you, when this happens, he lifts you up and holds you like a baby in his arms, "They are my little beautiful angel, back off" he says to the dog that was following you after you pat their head a block ago, then he kisses you sweetly

•When you laugh at vines or memes that aren't actually jokes, he laughs with you and smiles, because he remembers having that crackhead energy himself (also i hc that in modern day, young Joseph would have been like a tiktok/vine superstar bc he's funny and also really hot)

•Oh, you are cuddly, well, you are talking to Mr "my hugs are the tightest ever" Joestar

•He protecc

•Really, every single detail that can make you feel bad, he fixes it, no one has the right to make his angel boy feel bad

•This man simps hard for you, for him there's nothing wrong in you, everything is just perfect

[arimendoza]

to the anon who asked this: It’s loving cedric diggory hours in my brain so I’d love to read you venting your headcanons about him?? What do you think about his childhood and family and friends and what happened to them after (because Cursed Child isn’t canon)

tumblr deleted ur ask RIGHT as i posted it and im so sorry i hope u still see this bc i love it so much thank u for giving me an excuse to write about my favorite character :(((

i have a lot of feelings about cedric diggory

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it’s always been one of my biggest headcanons that cedric is a slytherin secondary

we see him as being kind. he is kind. and good. and brave. but he’s also ambitious, driven, resourceful. cedric diggory is a strong leader. but his determination is a double-edged sword, and his ambition can become ruthless:

"i thought you were gonna let it get me." / "for a second there i thought the same."

so kind, yet with this underlying, almost desperate self preservation and ambition that he might not even realize isn't his 

“he could have been anything.” but what does that mean? what did he want? or was he too busy thinking of what everyone else wanted?

because this is cedric diggory as we see him: composed, polite, the ideal and ultimate gentleman. intelligent, compassionate, reliable. powerful, intuitive, handsome. perfect.

but imagine, just imagine the intense pressure, the expectations, the constant delivery he feels he owes to people who perceive him as all those things, and then some.

this is largely because of how i see him growing up

amos diggory was nothing if not proud. so he did everything to transfer all that pride onto his only son:

private tutoring, gruelling flying lessons (all theory of course, though as soon as his father deemed him old enough, tested his natural instinct on a broom), and limited free time made for a clever boy, if not a lonely one

he didn’t see anyone outside of his immediate family much. they preferred to keep to themselves.

but he definitely saw all the other kids outside his bedroom window, laughing and playing and so free. sometimes he thinks about asking his dad if he could join them

but he can see the disappointed shake of the head, hear the “you were made for better things, my boy. greater things than playing pretend.”

and his mother, for all her kindness, he could never bring himself to ask. she never expressed direct expectations the way his father did. but cedric was clever. she didn’t have to say it out loud for him to know.

so he works. and perseveres. quietly and alone, until he goes to hogwarts

growing up, he wonders if perhaps playing pretend was all he was ever good at

he pretends his father is proud of him being sorted into hufflepuff

the letter he received was not scathing, but just had enough subtle disappointment in it that it crushed him.

he didn’t tell his father he was a hatstall. that he chose hufflepuff, in the end. in a way

“you’d do well in any house, you know. be anyone.” the hat had said

i just want to be myself. 

“oh my dear boy. you don’t even know who that is yet”

he pretends he wants to be a Seeker.

also a fairly popular headcanon, but i do think cedric was aware he was not made to be one because of how he’s built, but did it because “Seekers get all the glory, son. and it’s always worth the glory, isn’t it?”

he becomes Seeker. he’s praised for his fast swerves. he tells no one how much pain it gives him to execute them. he practices day and night anyway

he becomes captain. it should make him happy, and he is. it makes his dad proud too, but his shoulders sag just a little lower as another weight is placed on them

he pretends he doesn’t care for art (“it’s silly, son. there are better things, more practical things.”)

but cedric loves poetry, the abstract. it’s why his favorite and best subject is charms

he meets a ravenclaw boy who likes to write poetry as well. they bumped into each other in the library in what was both their ‘favorite spot’

he plays quidditch too, thinks he has a shot at captain

cedric diggory and roger davies became fast friends

two sides of the same coin, really. handsome, intelligent, athletic. but a bit lonely, reserved. their silence is taken for cockiness, sometimes

the main difference? roger doesn’t much care for other people’s opinions. it’s where he and cedric clash, where most of their arguments stem from. but they do help each other grow because of it

he pretends he doesn’t need friends, but makes them anyway

his father always stressed the importance of good connections, for networking and all that. and even from a young age it was clear that cedric was charming. a natural silver-tongue. he could probably make people fall at his feet, should he have wanted.

but as much as cedric cared about his own reputation, he never much cared for status, and always saw the good in others. or tried to, at least

so he and roger became close. roger introduced him to cho chang. she was pretty, also reserved, also liked quidditch. seeker

he also grew close to hecate oakham and bhavana patel from his house. hecate was often alone, in her own head. she gave cedric fresh perspective and listened, always. he did his best to do the same.

bhavana liked spending time in the greenhouse. it’s also one of cedric’s go-to places to think, clear his head.

his father thought he could perhaps do better. cedric thinks he’s struck gold.

cedric loved his friends so much, and he thought then that this is the closest he’s ever felt to understanding, and being understood

although he could never fully drop the facade in front of them, he let them see him at his worst: his disappointment, his anger (when cedric is angry, he doesn’t show it, preferring to repress and then possibly write it out later. but when he’s angry, he’s angry, piercing. ruthless and relentless, words coming out in passionate outbursts, as if the air was crackling around him from wild magic. people would have called it uncharacteristic of him, but did they ever really know him well enough to think so?)

still, he would say these were the best friends he’s ever had. the best time he’s ever had. he was happy

and then he meets harry, properly, and he’s both elated and so, so afraid. he pretends it doesn’t matter.

(he pretends he wasn’t absolutely hit with guilt after winning that one match. first, because he felt like he didn’t deserve it. second, because people think he didn’t deserve it. that on any other day, his hard work would never amount to anything next to natural talent. third, because even after all of this, a part of him was still glad he ended up catching the snitch)

(he pretends he didn’t ask to see harry when he was at the hospital wing after that disastrous match with the dementors either)

he pretends he’s fearless. that he wants to join the tournament

he’s already a prefect. quidditch captain, on the way to head boy. why not eternal glory? it’s worth it, isn’t it? everyone thinks he could do it. everyone thinks he could win. everyone thinks he should

“you don’t have to, ced.” roger says. 

“no, i do.”

he hopes the goblet doesn’t spew out his name. it does. he smiles, goes up. takes his place.

“good luck.” roger yells at him, concern in his eyes

he pretends he doesn’t know what their exchange really means

“dragons. that’s the first task.” i’m worried about you

“why are you telling me this?” worry about yourself, too

harry moves to leave. cedric pulls him back. harry stares at his hand. is this when you ask? 

“the badges. i’ve asked them not to wear them.” are you okay? i care about you.

“don’t worry about it.” i guess not. but thank you. 

he and cho pretend they want to go to the ball together

his father, of course, is elated. pretty, smart, athletic, from a good family.

she stares wistfully at hermione granger throughout the entire champions’ dance

cedric catches harry’s eye. it was like a million snitches were whizzing around in his stomach. not like how it was with roger, at first. this was so much stronger.

he pretends he tells harry about the egg only because it’s good sportsmanship. but harry is done pretending.

when cedric goes to congratulate him for tying for first place, harry kisses him

roger smiles knowingly when he he sees cedric at the library, absolutely beaming

but there was still that part of cedric, that voice in his head that tells him he’ll ruin it, that he doesn’t deserve it. it asks him, worst of all, will you still be happy, even with your father’s disappointment? 

so when does cedric diggory not pretend?

when he writes, and shares his writing with his friends

when he laughs so hard he snorts

when he’s flying. not for quidditch, but for fun

when he kisses harry back

when he says ‘together.’

when he tells harry to stay back

(he pretends he was ready to die)

so this is cedric diggory as we deserve to have known him: flawed and good. imperfect and kind. conflicted and brave

he could have been anything, but we didn’t see him live long enough for even him to figure out what it was he really wanted to be, who he wanted to be. 

the only comfort we have is, in his final weeks, those final moments, he could tell himself he was finally, finally proud of the person he was becoming 

he hopes history will think the same

BONUS:

roger, cho, hecate, bhavana, and of course harry mourned him. quietly, but together

roger

his first real friend. his best friend. he saw cedric the most, physically and emotionally. he thought maybe one day he’d get to see all of him, his flaws and his grievances and his silliness. he’d like to think so. he will never know, now.

people thought he’d honor cedric through quidditch, or something of the sort.

he wrote instead. he wrote for himself, for cedric. eternalized through writing.

every year he’d write something for cedric’s birthday, go to his grave and read it out to him

he’s scared of the day he runs out of memories. wishes they could still make more.

but as he tells cedric of his life now, his hardships and his triumphs and how much he misses him, he thinks he’s doing his best.

in this own, sad way, cedric is still with him. this is how they will make memories.

cho

cho cries, has a hard time sleeping. dark circles, bloodshot eyes, his death affects her the most physically.  she ignores the whispers, the confused stares at her emotional turmoil. but she has always been confident with her feelings, saw no shame in expressing them.

her performance falls in quidditch.

she remembers Seeking matches with him and later with harry, the way they’d laugh and how bright cedric’s smile had been

flying hadn’t been the same since. she hopes one day it will be.

next to roger, she visits cedric the most.

hecate

no one besides their circle of friends knew it, but cedric diggory was clumsy

she remembers the way he bumped into her when he was walking through the grounds, realizing he tripped over his robe

sorry he had said. i was lost in thought 

he looked like he had a lot on his mind then, as if he expected her to laugh at him.

funny, she had replied. i’m quite the same. are you headed to the lake?

and she remembers them sitting there. in comfortable silence, in easy conversation.

now she sits alone, cries silent tears, watches them run and spill and imagines them to merge with the lake

bhavana

cedric was knowledgeable about plants, but his skill at taking care of them was...questionable

she caught him, in the greenhouse, monologuing to himself

she remembered him stopping abruptly, coughing shyly. but she only laughed, said your secret’s safe with me

so she plants in memory of him, watches them grow and bloom the way he never can, now, treats them with the utmost care she wishes others had with him

harry

harry stays angry for a long time

the nightmares come every night, except this time, he doesn’t wake up in cedric’s arms

he couldn’t bring himself to visit his grave. not yet. he doesn’t know when yet, or if he ever could.

cedric diggory is harry’s first real loss.

he could have saved him. if he had never let cedric take the cup, if he had recognized the place faster, if he just got cedric to not move forward for the sake of his protection. 

this was harry’s new everyday, the what ifs running through his mind at every waking moment. and sometimes he hears a laugh, sees the way someone’s smile is crooked, a snippet of a song and everything is familiar and foreign and he aches and aches. and his heart breaks a little more

and it wasn’t love, not yet. but harry remembers the way they looked at each other, the way they smiled and laughed and played and kissed and were

it could have been love, and harry wonders if he’ll ever feel that way again

so he forms the DA, in cedric’s memory. meets with roger and cho and hecate and bhavana. they all stare at cedric’s picture in the room. haunted

and harry strives to do better. to be better.

(“who’s cedric? your boyfriend?” he was)

amos diggory mourned loudly. part of him resented harry, but only because the other part of him couldn’t help but think all of this was his fault, and his fault alone

if he pressured his son a little less, let him live as he wanted, and love as he wanted

if he spent more time with cedric

if he said the words “i love you” more often, told him “i am proud of you, always.”

 but he tells himself cedric must know. cedric had to have known

he doesn’t speak to cedric’s friends. tries to forget about harry potter

a hollow shell of a man, mourning for a son he never really knew.

he hopes history will treat cedric kinder than he ever did.

[wistfulkitten]

i dream you'd love me again (2) || jk

sadness, guilt, regret. all things jeongguk felt after reading her letter.

genre: angst and fluff? childhood friends, cheating, sisters boyfriend au

pairing: jeongguk x reader

word count: 2.3k

posted: 200518

warnings: longing, infidelity, profanity (kinda), mentions of sex, probably inconsistent punctuation 

a/n: theres probably gonna be minor grammar issues because grammarly is shit and im tired. n e way i tried making this longer, it took me like four hours believe it or not. funni how i can make time for writing but not for my hw. silly me. i tried explained why he did what he did and im sorry if it was crappy. thank u to yall who read the first one. if you guys have any requests or ideas feel free to send me something in my inbox or message me. tyty:))

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sadness. sadness is what jeongguk felt at the end of ___’s letter. sad that he hurt her enough to the point that she thought of herself as anything but perfect. sad that she doubted his feelings for her. sad that despite everything he put her through, she still loved him and still wished him the best. he always knew she had a big heart. it's one of the many reasons he was drawn to her in the beginning, but it was also one of her biggest weaknesses. her heart was too big for her own good and it scared him. ___ was always too quick to forgive and forget and most of the time it came back to bite her in the ass.

 he saw it time after time when her dad had left. he had had an affair and left his wife and two kids for a younger woman and yet she never got mad or ever blamed her father in contrary to yoona. while yoona never gave her father the time of day after the separation, ___ always made sure to set time aside for him even when he never put in enough effort to interacting with his daughters. he was a pretty crappy father, content with his new life. and though it made her sad that her family was no longer whole and her mother was practically always crying herself to sleep, it made her happy that her dad was happy. she was just about twelve then and still, she never gave into childish grudges. thirteen year old jeongguk found her slightly stupid for this trait but as they grew up, he found it quite endearing. 

guilt. after the sadness had settled in, a great wave of guilt washed over his being. while he was here, newly married with a whole life ahead of him, you were somewhere out there living the life you always wanted sad and lonely. too heartbroken to even enjoy it properly. he didn't deserve it, the comfort and security his new marriage gave him, he didn't deserve it. 

 jeongguk was merely seventeen when he fell in love with a sixteen year old ___ all the while he dated yoona, her older sister. he’d known them practically his whole life and it was such a small town that it was simply impossible for you not to know anyone and everyone. everyone went to the same schools and hardly anyone moved out of the godforsaken town. he and yoona started dating in the sixth grade. much too young to be dating but their families were long time friends and saw it appropriate for the two to start early. so that one day the two families would unite. jeongguk hadn’t minded at first. he was eleven at the time but yoona had always been a good friend. they played together all the time so nothing really changed except for the frequent hugs and occasional kiss on the cheek.

 as they grew older they graduated into more mature ways of affection but it never bothered him too much. though he was friends with yoona, he was always closer to ___. sure at first, he had trouble expressing but afterward never once did they ever feel reserved towards one another, only ever honest with every bit of their being.  while yoona was more reserved and occasionally bratty, ___ was outspoken and adventurous. always willing to try something new even if it wasn't exactly encouraged. she never shied away from speaking her mind and that was something jeongguk always aspired to be. she was everything he wasn’t.  she expressed herself in every possible way. hair color was constantly changing since the start of high school. she pulled off any type of style you could think of. you could pick her out of any crowd in an instant. she painted, wrote poems and songs, sang, played various instruments, even took up photography. she turned any type of art form into a way for people to understand her, every single part of her. she was good at so many things and jeongukk, jeongukk was good at one thing. basketball. yet she never made him feel bad about it, instead she went to every game. cheering him on. she was mesmerizing in every single way. 

 while they had their good moments, yoona had a knack of patronizing him for every fault and imperfection. when they started high school she had tried so hard to be looked at as the perfect couple. she made it a point to show that they ‘never fought’ and were always ‘happy’. he never spent too much time with his friends because ‘every boyfriend had to put his girlfriend first’. this is the exact reason jimin never liked her and why jin always referred to her as a pain in the ass. it was safe to say his friends weren't exactly fond of her either. she was so different from ___ which was good or bad, depending on who you were asking. 

yoona was pretty, though jeongguk would say ___ was prettier. soft features, soft personality, light colors were a constant, skirt never too short, hair never too long. she was a straight line kind of girl like the majority of girls in town. grades never faltering. she always believed in the whole study hard, get a good job, have kids plan everyone stuck to and it was always so suffocating. 

he wanted more out of life, he wanted to explore places, explore himself. he wanted to get to know himself in more ways than one because he had yet to know all of it. all of him. but by the time he was sixteen, jeongguk already had a career to work towards and a girl everyone was so sure would be his wife. it was like his life was a book and everyone but him was the author. he had no control and he started to dread the future. he was running and he knew what would be at the finish line, so he slowed down. while yoona was running full speed, he was jogging at most. he started faking a persona in front of his family and yoona because they simply didn’t get it and they never would. 

when he couldn’t exactly talk to his own girlfriend about his feelings and problems ___ was always there to listen. she was good at that. listening. she never judged, instead always reassuring him that when the time came he’ll know what to do. she had an easygoing way of living and he longed to live like that too. though her mother didn't agree and favored yoona more, she simply took it as it was and cherished what she had for the time being. her love for her mother and sister never faltered even if their love never measured up. ___ had a way of looking at the world that could get her far, far away from here and jeongguk envied that. she said all his feelings were valid and no one should be mad at him for simply feeling. once he had slowed down enough for the once blurry images to become clear, he’d realized that running with yoona was far too tiring and that walking with ___ was far more fulfilling.

 jeongguk was merely seventeen when he fell in love with a sixteen year old ___ and it was the most exhilarating feeling ever. it had started out as just a friend being there for a friend, but one day it turned into something more. they had been out on one for their many infamous nightly drives when they had stopped at a cliff, a pretty view of their small town in sight. pretty lights below and above. the stars were out that night just like them, watching the rest of the world sleep. she’d looked into his eyes, simultaneously looking into his soul. with anyone else, he would’ve felt naked and exposed but with her, he wanted her to see everything and to understand everything. he realized he only ever wanted one person to do that and he wanted to express it in the best way possible. he kissed her. really kissed her and she didn't shy away. he knew it was wrong, they both did, but it felt so good. so good that it felt right. right there, in the back of jeongguk’s first car, clothes disappeared one by one and they wrote love poems into the bareness of their skin. so passionate, so raw that it was impossible to stop afterward. they did it again and again behind closed doors, behind the curtain they drew in the depths of night. it was nothing they ever felt before. when they weren’t tangled within each other they explored as much as the city would let them. talking about anything and everything. no boundaries. 

___ planned on leaving once she graduated, didn’t know where to but the farther the better. she hated it here and so did he. it made jeongguk sick to even think about a life without her in it. he was selfish, he knows. he had them both and it was very clear which of them he loved more yet it saddened him that the one he favored more would ever leave him here. alone. that was until she asked him to come with. she asked him to run away with her. he swears if he wasn't deeply in love with her then, he was now. of course he said yes. running away and seeing the world with his favorite girl was a dream. a dream he truly wanted to become reality. 

they planned it out. jeongguk and yoona graduated and while ___ finished her final year in high school and yoona stared college, jeongguk took a gap year waiting for ___. waiting for their dream while working jobs here and there, financially preparing. he also took a business internship so that his family would get off his back for working instead of college. it was full proof, even the boys knew. though they thought it was risky, they supported them both. they had grown fond of ___.  they’d both work jobs to add onto their savings and the day after ___ graduated they’d leave and never come back. that was the plan, the dream. and yet they never made it.  

regret. he regretted it so much. the faithful day came but jeongguk didn’t. she waited and waited but he couldn’t do it. he watched from afar, luggage in hand. watch her wait. watched her cry when she realized. he cried with her. he was just so damn scared. a coward is what he was. he was scared of the unknown, something he craved so much and yet he was scared of it. and that's exactly how he felt for ___ at that moment. he craved her so much, loved her so much, and yet he was scared of her. scared that her spontaneous ways would one day be the end of them. he thought of yoona, at least with yoona he knew what he was getting. knew exactly where they’d end up. he wanted certainty and that's why he watched her leave. but to his surprise, she didn't leave, not yet. she stayed and waited, waited long enough for everyone else to find out. she was then branded as a little slut that wanted a taste of the forbidden fruit, the one he didn't choose. it was far from the truth but its what everyone believed. and so she left far far away and he didn't chase after her. god did he regret it. every day since that day he’s felt nothing but regret. he was back to putting the mask on trying to appease everyone. surprisingly no one reprimanded him and for that he felt anger, anger he’d only felt towards himself.

___ was the love of his life so it hurt. it hurt to see that she didn’t think of herself like he did. he wasn't aware she felt that way. like she was in yoona’s shadow. to him, it had never been like that because she’d been the one he sought to look at first in every room. it hurt to see she thought so low of herself but you could say he wasn't any better. he was newly married and yet he was miserable. it had only been a few months since he and yoona got married and people were already asking when they were having a baby. straight out of college and things were moving so fast. he was nauseated and lived life in such a lethargic manner. he needed her. 

she said she still loved him. maybe it wasn’t too late. maybe he could turn things around and fulfill the dream they never reached. so he picks up the phone and dialed the number he used to call every night. it was so familiar that he didn’t need to think twice about it.

it rang once, twice, and finally, on the third ring, she answered.

“gukk?”

he cried at the sound of her voice. he missed her so much. after a while, he could hear soft sniffling from the other line.

“can i come home?” he asked, voice so hoarse it hurt.

“you are home… aren’t you?” voice strained, sounding confused.

“no no, you’re my home ___. i need to come home. “

with that jeongguk couldn’t help but cry harder.

“shhh shhh gukk, it's ok. everything will be ok.” she cooed familiar words he hadn’t heard in a while. “ok, come home. come to me baby.”

he booked the first flight he could as soon as she said where she was and packed up as much as he could. he was gonna stop living this lie and start living for himself. something he should have done four years ago. and in a few hours, that’s exactly what he was gonna do. live the life he dreamed of with her, no holding back. he needed to stop being afraid. he was on his way, without a care in the world. jeongguk loved ___ and ___ loved him. that's all that mattered.

he’d send the divorce papers over tomorrow.

[dsmamedits]

LETTER-TO-C

June 10, 2020

Dear C,

I stopped calling you sweetie because I felt that things were lacking between us that we were growing apart. Doubt grew between us. I know when someone is lying to me or at least doesn't tell me the whole truth. I just know. It's just like how we both have a feeling when we'll message each other. It's an instinct instilled in us. I know you hide things for my sake because you did say that white lies are okay as long as it won't hurt the other person but for me lies are lies even if you say they are white lies because white lies are lies that hide things from someone but nothing can stay hidden, the truth will be set free. And once it is free and it's been proven that one wasn't transparent it will hurt more to the person who was kept in the dark. People are not weak, you don't need to lie to them to protect their feelings. Especially me, I'm stronger than you think. I can face anything. I'm stronger knowing there are people who have my back and love me. Isnt that how it's supposed to be?

There are things I can't let go of. I dont want a relationship built on Lies, doubt, dishonesty and no transparency. I may say things that hurt. I may have a cold heart. But it was all to protect you from more trauma and hurt and to protect myself. I know I too have things I still have left unsaid, I want to tell you but there's always something stopping me.

My reaction is a reflection of anothers treatment to me. I've seen relationships and I've experienced my own set of tribulations and I'm sure you have too. Im not insensitive, quite the opposite, You started to not care as much. The doubt grew when you didn't want to open up to me, you would usually tell me about your day the first few weeks of getting to know each other and then you didn't open up as much. I know you're usually detailed when talking about something you're passionate about but that stopped. I had to ask instead of you naturally telling me... That's alright because that helped me be more inquisitive and curious about others. But that was one change. When I told you about it you tried opening up more but I dont like telling people what they should know already. What should have come naturally if you really respected me and my feelings.

I don't like how you made a big deal about my virginity and blamed me for it how I could have prevented it and called me naive and simply didn't understand why it happened and insisted it was my fault. You should have let me go then when I was asking for it. For you to question my situation when you've slept around with other women was an unfair way of taking it out on me. I didn't bring that up anymore because you said you didn't want to say things that I could hold against you. But I'm bringing it up here so I can finally let it go and show you how unfair your way of thinking was.

I know my reactions could have been more lax but when you care about someone when you feel pain you may react the way I did. This is the first time I ever cared about somone to the point I would get mad because I was hurt. I know I could've dealt with this more calmly. This was my first time experiencing this much pain and hurt. I didn't know what to do. If I knew I would've known how to deal with it. With you. You made me fall in love with you and you decide to get sick of me after everything I've shared with you. Way to show me I'm not worth it. Not worth the trouble especially knowing my background. Thanks a lot.

You shut down in front of me. Didn't come after me. Didn't hug me and tell me everything is alright. And you didn't let me see anything. You deleted everything instead of showing me. You hid something from me. I'm not stupid but you kept making me feel stupid and I wanted to ignore everything and accept what you said but if you think about it.... Why would she call you just because you had that sickness before. You're not a doctor. And why would she call you several times. I know you wanted to protect all the women you dated. But I wouldn't care about them if you showed me you cared about me more. You protected them. You hid things from me. When I asked you again why you didn't add me on fb, do you remember what you said? You said, why do I need to add you on fb. In an irritated voice. I got scared and embarrassed. So I shut up and didn't insist on it. But I've always wanted to tell you. I can take care of myself. If anybody tries to bully me I have you. If you can't save me from your exes I have me. And if they try to ruin my reputation so what it's not the truth because the truth was that you and I were dating and you were no longer with them. So tell me, what was I supposed to be afraid of? Could you not have protected me? Why were you so adamant about keeping me out of your fb if it was just something you used. Why did you hide things from me. Did you not trust me?

I need a strong man to be beside me through thick and thin to prove to me that I'm worth loving no matter how imperfect I am and to help me get through it by offering something more tangible and helpful instead of telling me to handle my emotions more. Making me feel like I'm to blame for everything being ruined because I overthink about the things I can't make sense of because YOU wouldn't give me details when YOU used to be so detailed about everything!

I'd rather have someone be honest with me with the truth instead of hurt me with lies out of kindness. That is not kindness that is something that will eventually cause pain. Nobody's perfect and I understand that, that's why I gave you chances and you gave me chances but time and time again you made me doubt you. And all I could do was blame myself because I knew things could have been better.

Remember when we didn't go out for valentines? I didn't mind until you said you went out to dinner with your ex during valentine's before. I felt less important... then you said you needed to be with hero that day....I understood that but I felt you were defensive because I already knew that and you said it in a way like "dont be unreasonable", I kept quiet because I didn't want to make a big deal out if it but if you really wanted to spend it with me even just a few hours you would have. There are times when you pick hero up late. But that day I wondered why were you acting that way. We were just starting and I wanted to let it go because I didn't want to sound petty and it didn't help when you said you felt guilty and couldnt explain why, as if you were hiding something. If you really wanted too you would have put an effort. But you didn't. And now that time is gone forever.

I didn't want to keep silent because this might help you understand women more. If you think loving and showing a girl effort is just by feeding them, picking them up and saying words of I love you and making love with them, anybody could do that. If our roles were switched I'd be happy to do all that for you knowing it would make life easier for you. I bet thats how you felt too when you picked me up. Like you said that's what I deserved. But effort is more then that. Time is the most important factor for me. And you were willing to give it to me. You were gonna spare two days to be able to see me while juggling your work and life. I appreciated that...

I always came back when you asked me too and that was because I liked, loved, and cared about you. It annoyed me when you could see through me, when you took my seperation fits as jokes and said I just missed you. That was truer than true. I missed you so much and I was going crazy without you and surrounded by the negativity of everything. I started becoming obsessed with you because I had nothing better to do. You were my whole world. But you were becoming busier and I felt like I was neglected. I knew you were busy and you were trying to find time for me amidst your busy schedule. This is where I lack, communication, being honest about what I want to say. Instead of just telling you what I want from you I just become quiet and keep it inside because I dont want to be insufferable and a bother. But I ended up becoming one... I guess it ended up that way in the end. I remember the time we first met, how you accepted me for my messy past and got mad for me. I see things through rose coloured glasses. Everyone is kind, everyone has a reason for what they do. There is a story on how that person became the way they were. I didn't want to accept the grey and dark parts of the world.

I remember you telling me not to meet the guy in rockwell, I remember we watched the joker and we ate at the burger place, I remember watching in festival cell number 7 filipino version and we walked a lot, I remember going to your roof top and how beautiful and peaceful it was. I remember staying at your place and eating out at different places. I remember the first time we took edsa going to your place and how there were so many busses and I thought to myself, if we could get to your place faster by using this route so I could spend more time hugging you I don't mind taking this route all the time, I remember eating at that vintage burger place. I remember the wings and burger and raspberry juice. I remember that other burger wings place with a huge garage and how a truck passed by and you introduced me as your girlfriend, I was surprised coz you didn't ask me yet but it made me happy but also confused, was this how relationships worked? I remember walking by the river near your place and how I wanted to walk more but I was so tired and I wanted to go to the place you wanted to show me but fatigue got to me. I remember when we were at cloud 9 and I pretended to be not scared of how high up we were while on the bridge and you were acting cute behind me and I just wanted to bite and pinch you. And also punch you because I was getting more scared coz you kept making kulit. I remember how fun it was going home.

I also remember how the next time we rode the motorbike together you were a bit cold. You didn't like me hugging you and said you were having a hard time but usually you would laugh and say you liked it. Also you said you didn't like it when I was putting your shirt up and I thought you did because when we were going from cloud 9 you were laughing it off.

I remember how you got so red when you drank and fell asleep. I remember there was the one time where we did it and it was the most ecstacy I've ever felt, but when I found out the sad things, like how you were still talking to your ex and how you felt like you were distancing yourself from me, making love and loving you started to hurt.

I remember how you changed to letting me bite you when I told you that you got mad when I bit you. I remember taking lots of pictures of us together and of you when we went to the national museum and how paranoid i was about COVID19. I liked seeing you so serious looking around and hiding from you every now and then. One of my fave memories was when we went to celebrate my bday and how much fun it was to watch you sing for me. How we both could just let loose in each other's company. I remember eating at an open ventilated space in Makati with beautiful lighting and how you couldn't eat properly becasue you were having a stomach ache. I remember the time we were in jolibee and you told me about your mom and what she went through and the reason why you came back and how weak she became and how you teared up. You were beautiful.

I'm sorry I let my overthinking cloud the beautiful memories we made. I'm sorry I couldn't show you how much I loved you. I'm sorry I was mean and hurtful to you. I'm sorry that I wasnt enough. I'm sorry for being toxic. I'm sorry I couldn't love you the way you wanted to be loved. I hope you find someone who can love you the way I know you deserve to be loved. We're both too hurt to mend things. Sometimes something broken can't be put together and it's best to carry the broken pieces, glue it together with someone else to create something even better and unique. This is the closure I can offer. I know you've chosen a better path and i can only hope we both find the happiness we deserve. I can't help but blame myself because I know I pushed you to the limit. You got tired of trying because you thought that I was mean and confusing. Because I was toxic and I knew that, that's why I chose this path.

I wanted to let you know how I felt not for you but for my peace of mind.

#bittersweetmemories #loveletter #painfulmemories #youth #confused #distraught #sadness #ending&partings #THEEND

[pinkykitten]

hey can I get a ship with on my block, to all the boys I've loved before and marvel?? I'm a spanish girl, brunette with short hair, my eyes are brown and im a curvy girl, I'm really insecure about my self and I'm im really funny and protective with the people I love,I love cuddles, kisses and all that things, I dance, I'm really good at makeup and I love music. I really dont have a type? like I just want a person who loves me for what I am because I'm not perfect. Thank you so much 💜

hola fellow latina! you sound like a true romantic.

wanna get shipped with someone ask here you can ask as many characters as you want

click here for fandoms list

I ship you with:

ON MY BLOCK - CESAR DIAZ 

first of all hispanic ugh hello youd fit right in the group sis. cesar would see you a notice how timid you are and super chill and thats different from his CRAZY STRESSFUL CRAZY OF A BROTHER i mean stressful gang life and when he gets to know you he loves how its so easy to talk to you. you are so smart and you dont care about the material things of this world, all you care about are your friends safety and that shows a lot to cesar. when he sees how protective you are of your friends he smiles and thinks thats super attractive because what he was taught from spooky is when you make your own gang your own group you do anything to protect them and keep them safe. he cant see how your insecure because he thinks youre beautiful inside and out honey yasss own that lol sorryimtoomuchillbequiet. he tries to prove your beauty all the time and show you how special you are to him and when he like almost dying on the streets he went to you for comfort but he tried not to worry you cause he know you are super protective of him. loves cuddling with you and when you cuddle with him its like he won the lottery. omg sis you love dancing are you sure you love dancing cause you know with us hispanics thats pretty much meant you have opened yourself to a new cult im just sayin. when your friends and cesar realize sh*t this girl can dance heck they pretty much make you the spot light at olivia’s quinceanera. and jasmine kinda gets crazy with you which cesar always apologizes for cause lets be honest jasmine cray cray but we love her so much she is like the best person. and at the valentines day dance cesar loves to get *cough* super sexual with his dances so its sensual and romantic. and also cesar likes that you are imperfect cuz he da*n well aint perfect either but cesar doesnt want that he just wants his girl by his side and love on her. also with the makeup you always whether in the store or buying products new you always try it first on cesar, he looks very beautiful. but even at home you did a makeup look on him and cesar then did you lets just say you looked a little like un chola had sex with a kardashian and it did not look good. 

TO ALL THE BOYS I’VE LOVED BEFORE - PETER KAVINSKY

my man is about that party life style and being super popular it hurts my homeschool heart. but you show no really interest in the cool kid you legit are minding your own business and that kinda shocks peter cuz everybody wants to know him get his phone number everything but you are so different from the other girls. he likes how you have your own style. in this time in highschool kids are bullies and are hurting other kids and he sees you are kind to everyone around you and will stand up to bullies when they are hurting your friends. he knows some of his friends are fake and are just with him cuz hes popular so you make him rethink this whole friend thing. he takes you on so many dance dates cuz he loves to watch you move. like during a boardwalk date if there is music playing there he loves that you wring him over and dance with him like the feeling of having your presence and you in his arm makes him melt. you love kisses well so does this light pole! he gives you forehead kisses, cheek kisses, lips kisses, every where kisses and in public because he wants you to see that you mean so much to him. he kinda crazy tho cuz if you start with how your insecure peter will legit scream on the top of his lungs any where dont matter if its school or a restaurant he will scream how much he loves you and tell everyone that you are his girl. peter is always taking you out to buy makeup he thinks youre the best at it so he takes you to all the shops and you can buy whatever. 

MARVEL - PETER MAXIMOFF

another peter i love this boy too much like fam fam fam look at my boi! ok peter is like a child that ate 2,000 churros and skittles at the same time he is like a boi on a sugar rush and you go with the flow of things but he on another level that no one can achieve. he talks super fast with you because hes nervous and hes peter. loves to play pac man oh im sorry MS. pac man but why is it called man idk i DONT MAKE THE RULES. anywho when you are playing that game he likes to go behind you and kiss behind your ear your neck a top your head and just have his hands all over you rubbing on you. one day as a prank peter legit makes it look like he messed with your makeup and he has a stupid dopey smile on his face. you wanna beat his a*s but then he shows it was a prank. loves to show off that hes an x men and that he works with frickin hank and professor x like he thinks he a million bucks. you love to dance but not with him he dances sometimes too fast but when he is serious and romantic peter will take things slow even though he wants to carve his heart out and make it run a 3,000k run. he runs to the store for you to buy you whatever you want makeup food music he just loves to see your smile. he cant see why your insecure because he finds you so precious and gorgeous that when you talk like that he usually does something super extra why oh why did god grant you these powers peter. peter runs really fast on the street cement so fast to the point where there are like tire marks and it says that he loves you forever and ever and so the whole world can see it. he also does this thing like when hes in trouble he will run past you nonnie super fast and in circles so you dont catch him. peter loves to cuddle with you and he is very protective over you and whenever youre in trouble or hurt he will come to the rescue first cuz you are the love of his life but then cuz he is an x-men and he will make sure you laugh and are always happy with him and he will always protect you and keep you safe. 

[pppsssyyyccchhhiiiccc]

can u do some soft james march headcannons

of course! i love march, he was the highlight of the season.

pairing: james march x reader

warnings: some swearing and slight nsfw towards the end

———————————————————————

so james obviously cares about you a lot

he even cares about you more than killing

which he gave up for you when you told him it scared you

“James?”

“Yes, dearest?”

“Could you please stop killing? I know that’s what you’re known for a-and all but-”

“Of course I can, darling. I would do anything for you, and the pickings were slim anyhow.”

james provides you with everything you could ever want

you’re hungry?

a Michelin Star meal is at your door

you’re bored?

a new gift is delivered to your room, courtesy of Miss Evers

the only thing he won’t do for you is cuddle you

because it makes him look like less of a man

because a famous serial killer?

cuddling in bed with his lover?

he wouldn’t be caught dead doing such a thing

and he won’t admit it, but he’s easily persuaded

just a little begging from you and he’s on his knees doing whatever you please

“James, will you please come cuddle with me?”

“You know how I feel about that, dear.”

“I know, but it’s cold, and I’m tired. The bed feels so empty without you, baby. Please?”

“Oh, alright then. When you put it that way.”

he tries to act all grouchy but when you curl up against him

he’s such a softie

and then when you fall asleep in his arms he just 🥴☺️🥰😍🥺🥺🥰☺️🥴

that was the only way to explain it

now he’s dead, so he doesn’t really need sleep

but he loves watching you sleep

in a non-creepy way i swear

he thinks you look positively angelic when you’re asleep

your facial expressions are just adorable

“James, did you sleep at all?”

“No, my dear, I was distracted.”

“By what?”

“Oh nothing, just your exquisite beauty.”

you’re blushing vibrantly and shoving your face into your pillow

“Oh, hush.”

he’s literally the king of making you blush

he’s constantly complimenting you all the time

“You look like heaven in that gown, dearest.”

james is also really good at making you feel less insecure about yourself

like the time you locked yourself in the bathroom of room 64 because you needed a good cry

you were sat on the floor, your head in your hands

but you forgot locking doors doesn’t really do much to keep a ghost out

“Y/N, my love, what’s troubling you?”

“I-it’s just- nothing. It’s nothing.”

“Tell me what’s wrong, Y/N.”

“W-why do you love me, James?”

the look on his face oml

how could you ask such a thing?

you’re the best thing to ever happen to him?

and you can’t see that?

“Darling, you are everything to me. My sun and my moon, the brightest star shining in the sky. You are everything I’ve ever needed and more, how can I help but fall completely in love with you?”

“I love you too, James.”

“I need you to know that I absolutely adore you. Everything about you. Everything you see as an imperfection, I see as total perfection.”

he scoops you up in his arms and just

goes to town on you

he isn’t the biggest fan of kisses

unless they’re the needy, passionate kind during sex

but the soft kisses are just

UGH

give me a moment i’m so soft omg

he leaves short, gentle kisses all over your face

and on your neck too

and a lot of times

him comforting you leads to sex

because he already expressed how he feels in words

and you know the saying

actions speak louder than words

“Let me show you how much you mean to me, darling.”

and it’s not “just sex” or “fucking”

he’s making love to you passionately

and it’s a rare, beautiful moment where he really slows down

physically and metaphorically

and appreciates that he’s able to call you his

holy shit i love this concept sorry

so with james being confined to the hotel and all

options for dates are very limited

if he really wants to go over the top and impress you, he’ll send liz or iris out to get expensive food to make an elegant meal out of

HE SENDS THEM OUT WITH A FUCKING SHOPPING LIST IM CACKLING

but other times when it’s more casual, you’ll just go down to the bar and grab a few drinks

but for any occasion, you have to dress up

given that james is never dressed casually, you don’t want to look out of place next to him

but this one time, you sat at the bar together

and he got up and left your side for a moment

and who sat down next to you but some creepy guy

“It’s a sin how sexy you look in that dress, sweet thing.”

liz being the actual best steps in to help you out

“I’m sorry sir, you can’t have her, but you can have some drinks if you’d like?”

i love liz omg

“I don’t see anyone holding you down, doll. Why don’t we head on up to my room? Break the bed?”

the creep just

put his hands all over you in inappropriate places

DISGUSTANG

and you’re squirming to try and get away from him but he has a strong grip

but before liz can do something

james pops up out of nowhere

“Excuse me, kind sir, that’s my girlfriend your hands are all over.”

his tone is dripping with venom

but he’s resisiting the urge to slit his throat on sight because he knows that would scare you

“If you’re looking for a whore for the night, might I suggest the blonde in the jeweled gown?”

IM SCREAMING I CAN ACTUALLY SEE THIS HAPPENING

the guy is clearly intimidated by james

who wouldn’t be

and apologizes before running off

and james just sits down with the most smug look on his face as you nuzzle into his side

“Thank you, James.”

“Oh, you don’t have to thank me, darling. I’m just doing my duty as your husband.”

“Husband?”

he fucking drops to the floor on one knee and suddenly there’s a ring in his hand

turns out when he sent out liz and iris for food the other week, he also had them go to a jewelry store

“Y/N, you’re my everything. I love you to the ends of this earth and back. I can’t even grasp how I survived without you, and I don’t ever wish to know how that feels. Would you do me the honor of marrying me and making me the happiest man in this hotel?”

you were full on sobbing

I LOVE THIS SORRY

you just fell into his arms, holding him tightly

“Yes, yes, of course I’ll marry you, James. I love you so much.”

you finally pull apart and he slips the ring on your finger and mashes your lips together in a kiss

remember that thing i said about how actions speak louder than words well

the engagement sex is the best you swore you ever had

anyway

in conclusion:

james is secretly a softie and i rest my case

i got a little carried away with this sorry

[theshinsun]

1. as far as im concerned Kagami never left at the end of last game, that was an extended dream sequence... 2. i also totally agree with you that Kagami is prolly vers, if anything, and it was also MY PET PEEVE when people pinholed him into being a forever bottom at the peak of knb hype. 3. you keep teasing your long list of ships for Aomine PLEASE do him for the character thing lol. So far all your opinions are sending me into a realm of GOOD VALID VIBES

Omg thank you!! (I agree end of Last Game is not canon… or if it is he came right back the next year or smth I refuse to accept he just left forever. And I’m really glad to see the problem of Uke™ Kagami seems to be in decline these days… fewer people are writing for knb in general, but those that are seem to have an idea what a real gay relationship is or at least make him a fucking person and not a walking stereotype, and that’s encouraging to see). 

Also thanks so much for sending Aomine! …Strap in for this character essay tho I’ve been known to never shut up about this boy once you get me started.

How I feel about this character

I honestly… can’t even explain it anymore or even try to justify it but Aomine has had a bigger impact on me than, I think, any other character I’ve seen to date. I don’t even know what it is, I do relate to him (and project on him *cough*) but like, there are other characters out there that I have more in common with, and I like his whole arc and aesthetic but it’s nothing revolutionary, so… your guess is as good as mine. 

Whatever it is, I’ve been obsessed with this guy for over half a decade, and lately even as the KNB fandom falls into decline, my feelings are not they’re just getting stronger. His development over the course of the series is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever seen, (that one bit at the end of the Touou/Seirin game with “I want to practice” and his later conversation with Kuroko hit me in the fucking chest every time), and I love how even though he’s portrayed as cold, uncaring and rude, it’s still understood (at least by anyone with some nuance) that that’s not what he’s supposed to be like, and underneath the distant, kind of dickish front, he’s hurting a lot. I’ve talked about the degree to which he cares about people before too, but I still have to give a mention to the ferocious level of protectiveness this guy has for his friends. I could go on about him for ages, tbh, and maybe someday I will write a for-real structured essay to try to get it out there, but the bottom line is I love this character, I have for a long time, and likely will continue to do so long into the future.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Okay here we go… I ship this guy extremely liberally, even with people he’s never interacted with (hell you could mention any random character and I could probably see my way clear to shipping them with him somehow, I’ll still try to explain my logic if I can). Prepare yourself.

Kagami (of course, AoKaga is the OTP and definitely the one I’ve devoted the most time to, they’re just the best together I’ll never get tired of seeing them figure their shit out over and over)

Kuroko (I may be AoKaga on main, but I’m still such a sucker for the tragic romance between these two, and sometimes it just hits me over the head like a sledgehammer how much I love their relationship. I’ve also got a lot of feelings for AoKagaKuro, they’re such a perfect trio and I need to invest more of my time in the OT3)

Kise (I was a bit late to the game on AoKise, but I definitely see it now. I love their dynamic and how imperfect their relationship would probably be, the complexity of it. sign me up)

Momoi (I don’t see a lot of AoMomo love anymore, but I’ve still got a soft spot for it, childhood friends are my weakness okay)

Midorima (they’re so different but that’s what makes it interesting, and I love the idea of neither of them knowing how to show/tell the other their feelings and being awkward stubborn shits together)

Murasakibara (they almost never interact but I just think they’d have such a soft cuddly relationship and be really chill together… lazy Sunday mornings sleeping in and hanging all over each other that kinda thing)

Akashi (kinda same as Akashi/Kagami, I think the difference between polished upper-class Akashi and scrappy city boy Aomine would be hella interesting… though I’ve also got some angst ideas for them as a couple, after how things went down at Teiko… abandonment and whatnot)

Imayoshi (I got pulled into this ship HARD by Lysapadin’s A Firm Hand series and now it’s no longer a guilty pleasure ship and is actually something I’ll talk about in the open, just… the power dynamic fuck me up)

Sakurai (I fuckin love the idea of an anxious Sakurai crushing hard on Aomine and not knowing how to tell him but when he finally plucks up the courage and prepares himself for imminent death Aomine’s actually pretty chill about it… plus they’d be adorable together tbh)

Wakamastu (you know it’s gotta be enemies to lovers. not just bc I’m intrigued by the love/hate relationship itself but if you look past the attitude issues these two would actually probably have a lot in common. also I’m really interested in how their dynamic might change with Wakamatsu being captain and all)

Susa (idk but there’s one throwaway line in season 3 where Imayoshi says about Aomine “actually maybe he likes you” and that’s enough for me. bring me the rarest rarepair my body is ready)

Kasamatsu (it wasn’t supposed to be SERIOUS but they got me. That moment in the Touou/Kaijo game where Aomine helps him up and “you’ve really done it now, senpai” is legit, plus these two would be such a good-looking couple, honestly.)

Mibuchi (give me the pretty boys. I have no excuse for this except maybe their interactions in my own damn fic again)

Nebuya (sometimes shipping can be as simple as hey I want them to bang right. also they’re both humongous dorks under their respective rough exteriors and I love them)

Moriyama (they bond over liking girls at first and then they’re simultaneously like wait a minute… more Touou/Kaijo ships pls)

Nijimura (I have this idea of them reuniting late into/after high school and Aomine still calls him captain out of habit and Nijimura’s like relieved and impressed to see how he’s developed since the mess at Teiko)

Himuro (they Never interact but they’d be so Petty and Snarky sign me up)

Haizaki (twisted, but I’m interested it’d be so unhealthy and awful bring it)

Hanamiya (even more twisted tbh but there is that moment where Aomine confronts him… and I’m here for hate sex just as much as your typical romance)

Inoue (who, you ask? I know he’s such a side character and no one remembers him, but he’s a big reason for Aomine’s downfall at Teiko and they seemed to be buddies before that, I’d be interested in some kind of reconciliation between them, or a romance, ya know whatever works)

And then we get into crossover territory… MOST of these are not my fault they’re just things I’ve seen and adopted for myself

Kuroo Tetsurou (someone made a moodboard for them, and now I can’t stop thinking about them in a relationship, like damn… it’d be such a beautiful mess I wanna see more of it)

Oikawa Tooru (I’ve seen art, and also the light. These two damaged angsty prodigies, one sharp as a whip the other dumb as bricks, but both of them sassy and nerdy as hell. I could see myself getting addicted to this ship if I took the time to write it out, and I just might)

Yamazaki Sousuke (can’t lie, they look good together. I’ve seen more than one art piece of them interacting and I have a Mighty Need.)

Matsuoka Rin (angry lonely talented boys finding solace in each other’s company? you know that’s my shit. also shark teeth and cop AUs hells yeah.) 

Tanaka Ryuunosuke (I don’t know where the fuck this idea came from but I thought of Tanaka trying to pick a fight with “shitty boi” Aomine while in Tokyo and then losing his shit and here we are)

Terushima Yuuji (this one is purely physical… they pretty, I have no other reason, but also this absolute fuckboy, these two would be such a train wreck and I’m here for it tbh)

Yachi Hitoka (okay picture this Giant Terrifying basketball player trying to be less giant and terrifying to tiny shy Yachi and tell me you don’t just want to see that happen. I get Legosi/Haru vibes.)

I’ll spare you the rest of the ideas I’ve tossed around, because past this point it becomes pure crack (if it hasn’t already) but you get the idea. Throw a character my way and I can probably talk myself into it that’s the power this guy has over me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My non-romantic OTP for this character

K considering the List… it shouldn’t be surprising that I also consider this person a romantic candidate, but you know when it comes to non-romantic OTP it’s gotta be Momoi. Platonic or romantic, the way she’s stuck with him all those years and his obvious protectiveness and love for her and how (even though he claims to like big tits) he never even once starts to objectify her in any way, it’s so important to me. Momoi is Aomine’s redeeming factor when he’s at his worst, and she goes to bat for him even while he’s actively trying to shake her off and still tries to protect and help him when he refuses to accept it, even when it means they fight. (Also Kuroko saying “Aomine’s probably looking for you” after their argument puts to mind Aomine running through the rain calling Momoi’s name and that is just… pure). These two have the kind of unshakable long-standing friendship that’ll probably last them the rest of their lives, and no matter what context or form it takes, I can’t get enough of it. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

I’ve harped on enough about the fandom’s portrayal of Aomine as a one-note asshole who doesn’t care before, so let’s see if I can change gears a little bit here. 

I honestly don’t agree with… the persistent idea people seem to have of Aomine being a narcissist or obsessed with himself? Like yeah, he’s self-absorbed and egotistical, no question, this is not to say he hasn’t got those flaws and others besides… but that’s not the same as being like, physically attracted to yourself. Part of me suspects it was a “the only one who can fuck me is me” joke taken too far, so that now the idea of Aomine being in love with himself is just ingrained into the fanon culture, but if you look at the show itself, personally I don’t see it. If anything, I would think he’d have some self-loathing issues to work through (and that’s part of the reason he gave for skipping practice, he doesn’t want to be the way he is, and specifically says he doesn’t want to increase the difference between him and everyone else). But hey, that’s just my opinion. I’ll get off my soapbox now.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I mean he says he and Kagami are postponing their match, after their brief one-on-one when he gives him the shoes, and then we never get to see it… Tbh just more street ball with this guy would be great, since it’s what his whole style is based around. Even if he’s just playing by himself… or hell, maybe since he thinks no one at the high school level can beat him, we could get a scene of him trying to go up against adults. Maybe he still beats them and his despair worsens after that, but then it’d have more meaning, and at least we’ll have seen that he’s tried and is not just giving up before he’s seen all of what he could be up against in the future. Plus, picturing Aomine going five-on-one like Haizaki did against grown-ups and still slaughtering them is something I’d pay money to see. 

[cloudynames]

Tangerines

hello everyone!! im so excited for this story im releasing hehe~ i hope you all enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it. happy new years as well!! i hope 2019 brings you all good health and fortune

Word Count: 3,965

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Suicide, mental health issues

lets get it

-----------------------------

“T-Taeyong! I’m sorry to bother you but I couldn’t help it seeing you here! I’ve loved you for a long time even before we were friends. I would be honored if you accepted my confession…”

Taeyong nervously rubbed the nape of his neck and shook his head side to side, giving a pitiful smile to the girl in front of him, “Sorry, I’m not interested in relationships...”

That was an awkward trip to the grocery store.

When Taeyong arrived home that night, he cracked open a can of beer, almost downing the whole drink in one go. It was the same thing as the day before. Taeyong probably even couldn’t count how many times he’s been confessed to this month. Quite honestly, he was tired of it.

He always lived a lonely life, having only a few friends. Taeyong couldn’t even imagine the burden of having a relationship. Commitment and someone depending on him? He would never be cut out for it. It’s fine though.

The voice in his head tells him he doesn’t need anyone.

He snaps out of his daydream of him reflecting on his incredibly boring life and stares at the clock hanging in his living room. Eyes widening, he rushes to his work table and begins to work on his newest project. This customer wanted her piece done in three days. Although it was quite small, he wanted to perfect it. Just like how everything should be, perfect.

Taeyong found his love for sculpture while he was taking the class as an elective in college. His teacher captivated him with her expressive phrases and terms as she described how it wasn’t as simple as molding a few blocks together. She explained that with a single tap of a hammer or pushing down one's finger to hard, a whole project can go to waste. He loved the risk of failure, the complexity, and especially the feeling of perfection in one of his artworks.

Halfway through his semester, he changed his major to sculpture from financing. His parents were more than supportive when they realized how passionate their son was about his newfound passion. Taeyong made sure he paid them back with the first few paychecks he received from his pieces. Soon enough, he became very popular for his works and people were begging for him to take commissions from the famous Taeyong of Seoul.

He leaned back in chair and placed the clay robin in the mini tabletop oven. Setting it on the lowest setting, he contacted the buyer, telling her that the piece was done and she could pick it up the next day.

In the hot, early morning, a rapid tapping comes from Taeyong’s front door. Still buttoning his clean, baby blue shirt, he opens the door and gives a kind smile to the woman.

She moves over to the display table Taeyong had displayed previously and she examines the sculpture. Not receiving a response immediately, Taeyong grew nervous. Does she hate it?

Suddenly, she glances up and grins. “It’s perfect for our anniversary. Thank you.”

Soon she was on her way and Taeyong had an envelope filled with his pay. It was quite a lot for such a small project, so much that he could live a few days just on that one check. He was feeling bored nearing the afternoon of that day so he strolled over to his computer and waited for it to stir and flicker with life.

His eyes scroll over numerous emails and requests, typing out responses to those he can’t take. Either he didn’t liked the idea or feel motivated but it was most latter. One email stood out in particular and he cocks his eyebrow in surprise. Had he already found something that had interested him with only a few minutes of searching?

Two things jumped out at him: the email was sent by Seo Johnny, CEO of a technology company, and that it was very, very open ended.

The requirements were simply as followed: ‘I desire a sculpture of a beautiful lover. However, I want it to be in the beautiful in the eye of the artist. Please have it done by the end of next month. Thank you.’

Taeyong swiftly typed out a response and he wearily sighed. What did a beautiful lover look to him?

Never being in love before, his head searched for answers but ultimately ended up frustrated. He doesn’t know what beauty looks like! As he thought more and more about his most recent project, the answer became clear.

He found sculpture beautiful.

Drawing up a quick diagram of what the sculpture would look like, he stopped once he needed to draw the face. Pursing his lips, he drew two dots for eyes and a line for the mouth. He would worry about that later.

Grabbing some wire, he started to shape the body of his sculpture. He knew this project would take more time than the rest of his pieces since it would come directly from his heart.

Watching the inner cask dry, he rolled over to his computer and very pathetically typed in, ‘beautiful people.’

Faces of men and women appeared of all different races. Bored, he scrolled in that google search bar for what seemed like forever. Nothing interested him and he supposes nothing will ever. Taeyong didn’t want to live life alone for he would be an outcast in society. However, he didn’t want to marry whoever had a decent enough face.

In the back of his mind, something screams at him that it’s better to be alone.

Taeyong agrees.

The next day, Taeyong stares at his creation, wondering how to fulfill the wishes of the customer. He sighs and grabs a handful of clay, almost slapping it harshly onto the cask. Covering the cask to create bumpy shapes, he bites his lip in contemplation.

He hates going for it without a definite plan, but he’s going for it.

After five harsh hours of cutting, shaping, and smoothing, he had formed the base of the body. Taeyong begin to detail the head, forming hair from his wire end tool. He tried to imagine the sculpture in motion, someone joyful and engaging.

Someone incredibly different to him.

His nimble fingers worked tirelessly as they became numb to the pain of being in such awkward positions. Shaking the cramps out from his hand, he formed lines for a mouth and nose. He continued to work that night.

And the next.

Soon enough, he had finished the curves and perfections within his project and his taste had been satisfied. Taeyong genuinely thought what he created was beautiful, more graceful than any woman or man could be. His fingers grazed the surface of the clay shoulder and he shuddered at the warm feeling that flowed from his head to his toes. Taking a thumb, he brushed over the plump, luscious lips. It was simply perfection.

A small crack destroyed that image of quality just after he removed his thumb and saw a small crack had surfaced. Gasping loudly, he worked hurriedly to fill the crack before any more damage had been done.

Maybe perfection wasn’t achievable. He was a fool for thinking so.

With the notion of a deep, lulling sadness in his chest, he fell on his bed. The voices in his head tell at him that nothing would be perfect ever and that he should accept that his life was lonely. For the first time in the entire twenty-three years of misery, he longed for someone to touch.

The sense of loneliness did not leave the next morning but amplified. Rolling over and reaching out for something to grab but ending up with nothing tore him apart.

Grumbling, he rose from his bed and patted over to his statue. A shriek left his throat as he hyper-analyzed the small cracks scattered upon the figure. He tapped them lightly, lighter than a feather hitting the ground, and almost fainted when the cracks began to grow bigger. With blurry eyes, he shakily grasped onto a scraper and embarked on his journey to repair his model. His calloused fingers treated the imperfections with the filling clay to cover his mistakes. Taeyong was on the brink of a mental breakdown with silent tears streaming down his face, watching his most wonderful work slowly come apart.

His chest heaved heavily with pain and anxiety even after he had fixed everything. He suspected something was wrong with his mixture and he threw out every ingredient he owned that went into making the concoction. Shopping would be joyful the next day.

He went to go make himself a small breakfast after the traumatic experience. Coming back with a plate of toast and a tangerine, he nearly dropped his food when he saw the hand of his statue slowly stretch and move its hand. Taeyong blinked once, twice—even three times as he tried to comprehend what was happening. The plate was left on the table and he was tucked right back into bed. This entire situation was happening because he was tired, right? There was no way that a statue can come alive and wiggle its fingers like a toddler.

Taeyong nearly forgot the incident as he stretched and looked over at his clock which read, ‘1:27.’

Slowly and carefully, he approached his workspace, not looking in front of him. Opening his eyes, he fell onto the ground harshly and scooted back to the nearest wall in distress.

In front of him was a gorgeous and very human person, blinking and showing off their body to the whole world.

“Oh my god!” Taeyong screamed while the beautiful person in front of him blinked, confusion spreading upon their face.

Taeyong could barely think but he connected his thoughts together to make some sort of plan. He grabbed an old shirt and sweatpants, blushing profusely as he handed them to the person in front of them. They stared at it and before Taeyong could leave, they latched onto his arm. He had never shaken so much as he clothed them, sliding the baggy shirt over their head.

He wondered how he was a known artist but most recently became a babysitter for someone definitely not a child. Watching them as they played with their soup, he sighed.

What had he gotten himself into? More importantly, how did his carving become a human when yesterday you were a pile of clay?

Taeyong would find out throughout the night that they couldn’t form coherent sentences so he gave them a crash course on language. To be fair, you didn’t have comprehension of anything. He was just glad you were a quick learner. Supernatural could explain your abilities. You grasped onto concepts better than a baby even though you had never been exposed to such things. Peeping at the clock while the two of you were studying, he decided to call it for the night. He had shoved you into his room that night and you sat there pouting with big eyes.

Taeyong closed the door quietly and laid on his uncomfortable couch. At least he had some time before the statue was due or he would’ve been screwed. Not noticing when he drifted off to sleep, he was startled when he heard the creaking of his familiar bedroom door. He shut his eyes tightly until he heard the light breath of another’s presence.

Carefully, he peeked open his eyes and saw you kneeling on the ground, staring at him with a deep look.

“Y-Yes?”

“I want Taeyong.”

His face was definitely on fire by now.

“What do you want me to do?”

A pout was still graced on your lips, “Sleep.”

He let you grab his large hand in your small one, dragging you to the bed. You laid down stiffly, looking at the ceiling. He chuckled and snaked his arm under you, forcing you to curl into his side. Taeyong didn’t know he could be so suave.

“Better?”

“Better.”

The little quirks that Taeyong discovered made him slowly forget the fact that you were clay and that you were more human than a masterpiece. Yes, you might have incredibly hard skin and for that reason Taeyong was extra careful to not possibly cause a crack. It was your personality and emotions that caused you to be a completely different essence.

He noticed how you would pout whenever he left him for too long but that smile instantly returns once he comes back. You loved the taste of tangerines but you hated peeling them. Sometimes you would blow at your hair to get it out of your eyes and every single time Taeyong saw this, his heart leapt a little.

Taeyong was slowly falling for you. He wasn’t stupid though. Conversations between himself and his head made sure that he knew he was to be shunned from society if anyone knew his dirty secret for he was cruelly in love with a creation of his perfection. No matter how loud the voices got, he ignored them and continued to fall for you. Never did he want his feelings to slip towards you, especially since he knows you’ve been watching dramas.

He observed you play with your dinner, something you haven’t done since the first night you transformed.

“What’s wrong?” He softly asked, putting down his chopsticks. You bit your lip, opening your mouth then closing tightly.

“Why does everyone have a name? Do I have a name?” You quietly questioned and Taeyong could hear the quick scrapes against the floor while you kicked nervously. He made sure to add that onto his list of ever growing affections.

“Well... No. You don’t have a name.” Taeyong chose his words carefully and the voices in his head keep screaming ‘danger’ at him for making such a silly mistake.

Tears welled up in your eyes and you breathed out, “I want a name.”

Taeyong rushed to your side and wiped away the tears, staining your ceramic face. He coos and brings your head to his chest, fingers finding their way through your hair.

“Don’t cry, we can still give you a name.” He smiles, gazing down at you. Sniffling, you gawk at him, eyes twinkling with happiness.

“R-Really?”

He chuckled, rubbing your backside. “Of course. I think {y/n} would be a perfect fit, do you?”

A wide grin spreads on your face and you hug Taeyong tighter than ever before. “I love it!”

Taeyong wishes he could be the one you love.

His daily routine had been morphed and suddenly you were included in everything. He taught you how to do simple clay models, helping when you couldn’t mold it correctly to your liking. You learned little things Taeyong loved as well like how he needed to have a cup of green tea with every meal. You definitely felt something in your chest whenever he smiled and excusing yourself, you head to the bathroom to soothe your aching chest.  Nothing could explain the feeling except what those dramas told you which was love.

It made you feel hot and sweaty yet high all at the same time. The feeling made you want to grab onto Taeyong’s hand and hold it longer than usual or to feel his kisses planted everywhere on your body. You wanted a declaration of love. The girls on the television would have their cheeks painted pink as the boy shouted his feelings towards them, infuriating you because that’s all you could ever desire with Taeyong.

Taeyong knew he couldn’t hide his unproclaimed love for you. He knew it was wrong, but it felt so sinful and right to innocently hold you. The aspiration of wanting more sat in his stomach ever since he started to fall for you and he wasn’t planning on pushing you away anytime soon.

Later on an unknown date while working on a small piece, he heard the oh-so familiar patting of feet moving towards him. He grinned to himself, wiping his hands with a hand towel before turning around and seeing your surprisingly energetic face.

“I can’t sleep.”

Taeyong snickered and knocked on the seat next to him. “How come I knew you were going to say that?”

You giggled and took a seat next to him, analyzing his newest piece. “What is it?”

“Ah, this is a turtle.” Taeyong remarks, pushing two tiny dots on the surface to make beady eyes.

You hum in response and tap your fingers on the table. You open your mouth, “Can I help?”

Taeyong nods and rises from his seat, letting you take his. Nervously, you waited for further instruction.

“Let’s mold the legs. Turtles have four so we’ll need to make four that seem similar enough to each other.”

He showed you how to make the first one, trying to use words you’ve come across and not including difficult technical words.

Your hands weren’t used to shaping the clay so naturally you became more frustrated as yours didn’t look similar to Taeyong’s. You tried making the base wider like his but it seemed like the clay disappeared in your hands.

“Let me help you.”

His hands covered yours instantly and you could feel every vein in your body pounding. He was so close to the point where you could smell his cologne and feel his wet breaths coating the back of your neck. Goosebumps covered your entire body since nothing like this has ever happened before.

You didn’t even noticed when he finished helping you create the leg until he patted you on the shoulder. Gaping up at him, you feel your eyes being absorbed into his. The way his hair was messy from hands running through it and a tiny scar near his right eye captivated you. He was truly perfection. If there was a god in this world, he spent all his time working on Taeyong, his greatest masterpiece.

Taeyong blushed as he looked into your eyes. They were sparkling with adoration. He has seen this scene countless of times with numerous men and women who confessed to him. However, a new question arises. Would he accept you?

He was the one who came crashing down on your face. Taking your smooth face into his hands and tilting your chin up, he kissed you. It was so soft and delicate that one would’ve not even noticed they were getting kissed. You tasted like the tangerines you had for a snack and him like his daily cup of coffee. The surface of his lips were hard and chapped from the continuous biting while yours were as smooth as hardened clay (which you were). Desperately, your lips wanted more. Yet as quickly as Taeyong let you in, he backed out, giving you a shy smile.

“Sorry, you looked too cute not to kiss.”

His days were now complete as he found himself adapting to be your lover. He kissed you, hugged you, and made you feel like the most expensive frame in any museum. The budding seed of a romantic relationship had formed and Taeyong couldn’t help but water it.

Deep, evil voices in his head told him it wouldn’t last for long.

Oh, how they were right.

Giggling, Taeyong placed you on the kitchen counter, lips attacking every inch of your neck.

“Baby… You’re so cute.” He murmured, nibbling on your tough ear and immediately receiving a toothache from it. Taeyong ignores the pain and presses himself closer to you, forehead against yours.

“Can we watch a movie today?” You request, hands brushing his cheekbones.

Taeyong nods and straightens. “I’ll go pick out a movie.” He turns, already moving to grab a DVD from his collection.

“Can I join?”

Your hand had already latched out to grab his and you weren’t ready for his sudden, sharp movements. Slipping, you crash into the ground.

A shatter fills the room and Taeyong twists around, horrified. Once was his lover was now a mess of clay and dust, coating every inch of the floorboards.

“No, no, no, no, no!” Taeyong wails, falling to the ground urgently and pulls every piece he could grab together. Cuts broke his skin and his blood mixed with the remains of once a magnificent masterpiece. The voices become mocking as they laugh at his anguish. His head, dizzy with desperation, falls against the ground. A howl forms within his throat and he pushes it back down. He makes fists with his hand, digging into the cuts and he punches his thighs.

“Don’t worry baby, don’t worry. I can fix this! Yeah, I can!” Taeyong scrambles to his workstation and grabs whatever supplies he can find. He molds uneven shapes, hands stuttering with every move. His mind is filled with worry and pain, not being able to remember which steps he took to design you, his love and the only love he’ll ever want. After not being able to recreate your eye shape, he moans and throws the wad of clay, splattering it all over the cabinets. He rocks himself back and forth on the cold ground, banging on the floor repeatedly.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do it.” He bawls, wiping at his face.

The one person he ever loved was gone, all because of a mistake. Broken was the only word that could describe how his emotions were. The whispering became louder and soon it was the only thing he could listen to. Nothing mattered anymore. He was bound to be lonely forever. What was the point? To continue to live life lonely and to spend the rest of his days thinking about the one who got away?

Grabbing a bottle of pills, he empties the contents down his throat. For a minute, nothing happened. He was simply just waiting for his suffering to come. It hit him as a shortness of breath and his head being foggy. He couldn’t remember what he was doing or what was happening. Laying his head on the floor and his body following, he stared at the ceiling. An abdominal pain struck him at the side, crunching his body. He closes his eyes and hoped this nightmare would end.

And so it did.

———————-

Taeil looked at the police report again, hands brushing through his hair as he stretched out his back. His eyes widened at the name, recognizing it instantly. The victim’s name was Lee Taeyong, the man who created something for his sister-in-law for her wedding gift.

His eyes scanned through the paper until he reached what he wanted to know. Had he been suffering with mental health this entire time?

‘Cause of death: Suicide

Found by: CEO of Seo Enterprises, Seo Johnny. He had requested to see how far his commission had come along when he found Lee Taeyong on the floor with no pulse and broken clay surrounding his body. This was about two days after this death.

Mental state: Lee Taeyong has been struggling with mental health all throughout his life. His parents have notified the police that he did, in fact, have severe depression. His mother was worried as well that he might have inherited psychosis from his father’s side as it was genetic. This would explain the background check with his parents when they told investigative forces about how he would hear people in his head. Friends of Lee Taeyong could also testify of him hearing these voices’

Taeil looked out the rainy window and closed the case file. How cruel the world was that it would take away such a young, inspiring person.

He checked the time and saw it was time for his snack. Pulling out a bag, he grabbed a tangerine and continued to work on case files, writing up reports.

Biting into a slice, he groaned, “Aw, this one is bitter!”