#lymechallenged

[lymechallenged]

I just want my normal life back. I want to be able to do the things I KNOW I CAN do without being in pain, without being so exhausted and fatigued 24/7 WHY ISN'T THERE HELP FOR THIS???

[lorigeurin]

#LymeDiseaseChallenge FACT: Lyme has been detected in all 50 states. This info is from a Quest Diagnostics report and is based on more than 6 million blood tests taken over the last seven years. . 💚 Please tag three of your friends below and help us #takeabiteoutofLyme and spread awareness during Lyme Awareness Month. Thank you! 💚 . . . . . . . . . . #lymechallenge #lymedontkillourvibe #lymefighter #lymeawareness #LymeDiseaseAwareness #lymedisease #chronicillness #spoonie #invisibleillnessawareness #lymedontkillmyvibe #lymewarrior #lymediseasefighter #lyme #lymetreatment #lymewarriors #tickbornedisease #tickbornediseases #tularemia #holisticwellnesscoach (at Bolivar, Missouri) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx2o48pA8XJ/?igshid=1qksz9zwf51v

[skellyfarts]

#lymedontkillmyvibe fun fact: did you know Lyme disease may involve any part of your body: skin, joints, muscles, the nervous system, the heart or the intestinal tract. #lymechallenge #theonlyphotoswithoutmiddlefingersup

[mamabearlovesjesus-blog]

Check out @LymeChallenge’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/LymeChallenge/status/1025809115984134144?s=09

[lymechallenged]

I am seriously to the point that I no longer believe or trust in doctors!

[lymechallenged]

You'd think with all the schooling that doctors would be a little bit smarter than what they are these days!

[lymechallenged]

I apologize for my trains derailing. I don't remember where I was at in telling my Lyme journey. To be honest, I don't think I even really started telling it. At least not when it all came about, so that is where I will begin. If I repeat things that I have already posted about, just remember that my brain is #lymechallenged.

The first time I came across the above meme, it hit home with me for a couple of reasons: I cannot tell you how many times doctors have referred me to psychiatrists. I am NOT crazy. There IS something going on inside my body that is not right, not the way it is supposed to be. And it is NOT a psychiatric "thing". Although it soon will be because THEY are driving me insane. I am not going to say the phrase "it is all in your head" because technically, scientifically, it is in my head (and the heads of many others with Lyme). Lyme spirochetes can bore into brains. And I am going to leave that there for now. The other thing about this meme is that for some reason, for most people with PTLD, we cannot stand it when people add an s. The word is L-Y-M-E. I have even heard physicians say "Lyme's Disease." What that tells me about the doctors that pronounce it that way is that they don't know jack about it. Most of them don't know jack about it even if they do pronounce it correctly. My train is derailing again…

Okay, I am going to try to do this without derailing. By June of 2012, I was divorced, working night shift as a CNA in a nursing home, and taking online prerequisite classes for nursing school. My son had graduated high school the year before and was in college and living in his own apartment. My daughter was a junior in high school and split her time between her dad and me. In other words, she stayed with whichever one she wanted to stay with on any given night. My ex-husband and I were still on speaking terms and were thinking about trying to work things out between us. I had a very busy life.

On June 27, 2012, I went to work at 10 p.m. I felt absolutely fine. At 4:30 a.m. on June 28, I sat down at the nurses station and told my charge nurse that I felt like I was getting the flu. I finished my shift at 6 a.m. By that time I was certain I was getting the flu. I was achy all over, had a slight fever, a headache, and felt a tiredness like I had never felt before. Normally when I would get off work, I would get home and make a cup of coffee, sit down at my computer and do some homework for a couple of hours and then go to bed. On this particular day I literally fell into bed. I didn't even have the energy to change out of my scrubs. I slept for several hours and when I woke up the only way I could make it to the bathroom was by hugging the wall. I stripped off my scrubs and made it back to my bed by the grace of God where I promptly fell back to sleep. A little after 10 that night my phone woke me up. It was my charge nurse wondering where I was. I told her I apparently had the worst case of flu that I had ever had and would not be coming in to work. I turned my phone off and fell back to sleep. I slept until my ex-husband came in and woke me up sometime around noon. He had been trying to call me and since I had my phone turned off he was getting worried about me. He helped me get to the bathroom, went to the store and got some Gatorade because I had not eat or drank anything. Our daughter was staying with him that week so he made sure I had everything I needed beside my bed and went home. Later that night I woke up and just didn't feel right. This had to be something other than the flu. I seriously thought I was dying. I have had Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) most of my adult life. And I went into full blown panic mode. I called my ex-husband and told him I wanted to go to the ER at Mountain Home. It was an hour away. About 20 to 25 minutes away and on the way to Mountain Home, I felt even worse. How that was possible was beyond me because I had NEVER been so sick! There is a small hospital in Salem and I was positive I was not going to live if we did not stop at this small hospital. I knew I would not make it to Mountain Home. They got me in an exam room really quick and checked my vitals. My blood pressure was 222/177! How I did not have a stroke or heart attack baffled even the doctor on call. They drew blood and did a full cardiac workup. Everything came back normal. Except for my extremely high blood pressure. They kept me for observation for a few hours and after they got my blood pressure back down to a relatively normal level, they sent me home with instructions to follow up with my primary care physician the following day.

The next day my ex-husband took me to see my doctor. He put me on a blood pressure medicine and medicine for the flu. I went back home and crawled back in bed and continued to get worse. After another 3 days of low grade occasional fever, a headache that absolutely would not go away, pain in every muscle and joint in my body, and a weakness and fatigue that was indescribable, the ex helped me get in the shower. I was able to wash my hair and completely ran out of energy. My arms felt like they were made of lead and I could not lift them. Ex finished my shower, dried me off and dressed me. Back to my PCP we went. This time he put me on the antibiotic, Cipro. I went home and faithfully took my Cipro. I finished that round of antibiotics with NO change. So back to my PCP, where he did bloodwork and again everything was normal. He gave me another round of Cipro and sent me home. I was half way though with my second round of Cipro and I had been sick and pretty much bed ridden for 45 days. If it had not been for my ex and my daughter helping me, I am positive I would not have lived.

My anxiety got the best of me one night and Ex took me to the ER and this time we did make it to Mountain Home. Praise the Lord! The ER doctor ordered all kinds of X-rays, MRI's CT scan, and of course bloodwork. Everything, EVERYTHING, came back normal! At this point could someone explain to me what the hell "normal" is? Because if the way I felt was "normal"…we will just leave it at that. This particular ER doctor then told me she was going to get in touch with my PCP about my ER visit and that she wanted him to test me for tick-borne illnesses because she thought I might have Lyme disease. The following day I got a call from my PCP office and they wanted me to come in to have blood pulled to send to a lab that could test it for tick-borne diseases. I am almost certain they took a pint of blood that day. We made a follow up appointment for 1 week to go over the results of my labs. In the meantime I was to continue taking the Cipro. Obviously my PCP thought Cipro was the "cure-all" drug of his choice. Because it was doing NOTHING for me. Yet I continued to take it. Aren't we supposed to trust our doctors?

At my follow up appointment with my doctor, he tells me I tested positive for Lyme disease. Oh joy. I found out what was wrong with me! Now maybe I can start getting better. He immediately stopped the Cipro and started me on Doxycycline. I had by this time, taken a medical leave of absence from work and had to completely stop the college courses because I did not have the energy to even sit up much less think enough to do homework. I am back in bed and now taking Doxy. After a few days of this wonder drug, I VERY SLOWLY started feeling a little better. One day I actually stumbled from my bedroom to the living room on my own, where I ran out of all energy and laid on the couch until Ex got there when he got off work. He helped me back to bed. As I slowly started staying awake more often and was able to actually sit up in bed for more than a few minutes, I got my laptop and started researching Lyme Disease.

And then…it dawned on me! I had not picked any ticks off of me since I had divorced Ex and moved into town. I was too busy with work and college classes to even think about getting outdoors. I did not have a dog or cat so I couldn't have gotten any ticks that way either. And I will tell you that I NEVER saw a "bullseye" rash or any other type of rash before or during the three months I was in bed. The doctor was calling it "acute" Lyme Disease, meaning I had RECENTLY been bitten by a tick and that is why I got so sick suddenly. I didn't care what they called it. I was slowly starting to feel better. Slowly. As in sloth time.

But, that was something I was going to have to look into, not being bit by a tick for well over a year. So, why then, was I just now getting this ill?

Until next time...

Kelly 💚

[lymechallenged]

I am new to Tumblr and blogging

Hello everyone. I am new to Tumblr and blogging. My brain is Lyme challenged so bear with me as I learn how to navigate Tumblr. Thanks! Kelly

[lymechallenged]

Written December 18 2022

Grounded Until Next Year?

Yes! Grounded until next year! No Buts!! #lymechallenged

Just remembering the little hike to Wal-Mart at 3:30 to save my daughter and her friend must have triggered something because after relating that story I have been in bed another 5 days. I understand that by remembering, thinking about, and telling my Lyme journey is not the best thing I can do for my physical healing of this hell of a disease but right now at this time in my journey, I think it is good for my emotional healing. The weather has NOT been helpful at all. I despise this time of year. I have become so intolerable to the cold, seemingly overnight. And I know we need rain to survive in the world but it seems the longer I have to go without sunshine, the worse I get both physically and mentally. So, after another 5 days in bed, I am going to push on. At least the sun in shining today even though it feels like it is forty below zero. It is actually 27° F, which is WAY to cold for me! I have my thermostat set on 70° but it honestly feels like it is about 50° in this apartment! Oh yeah…pushing on…

After saving my daughter and her friend that night, I slept for a long time. When I woke up the two little darlings had made me a homemade cake that they concocted. It was the most delicious cake I have ever had and have not had one that delicious since then. Which is a good thing. Just smelling of it could throw a diabetic into a coma. I can say that because I am now pre-diabetic. With that being said, I now have to defend myself to other Lymies out there about sugar intake. I did not know at that time that sugar is the worst thing a person with Lyme disease can put into their body. I know that now though. And I will always remember that cake and just how delicious it was. For those of you that are curious about this special cake, this is what they did: they lined a rectangular cake pan with Reese's Peanut Butter cups, mixed up a milk chocolate cake mix and poured that on top of the Reese's cups. They then stuck Reese's cups around the edge of the cake and baked it per directions on the cake mix. After baking and cooling it, they frosted it with milk chocolate frosting and covered the entire cake with miniature Reese's cups. And they obviously thought it needed something more because they covered the entire thing with caramel sauce! They knew that Reese's cups were my absolute favorite candy and I am a huge caramel fan also. As I said before, that was the most delicious cake I have ever had. They knew they had to do something to make up for making me walk to Wal-Mart at 3:30 a.m.

Another little story about my #lymechallenged brain is that same year (2012) on New Year's Eve, my daughter and I stayed up to ring in the new year. We sat up playing board games and I cannot remember what she did or said but whatever it was I thought she needed punishment. I told her she was grounded until "next year." My #lymechallenged brain was not thinking about it being about an hour until the next year. She cracked up laughing. I honestly sat there staring at her like she was the one that was Lyme challenged. Forty-five minutes later, when she finally stopped laughing and crying and caught her breath enough to talk, she looked and me and asked, "Did you just tell me I was grounded until next year?" She was barely able to get those words out. I told her yes I did!! After another bout of hysterical laughter, she looked at the clock and informed me that she now only had 15 more minutes of being grounded. What the hell? It is very difficult being a mother of teenage smartasses when you have Lyme disease! But I do not think they will ever understand just what they mean to me. I hope they do, because they are the beat of my heart.

Until next time,

lymechallenged

Kelly 💚

[lymechallenged]

Transferring Posts From A Different Site

Several of the things I have posted the past couple of days have been from another site that I started to blog on but then changed my mind and came to Tumblr. There are only a few more then I will be back to trying to blog daily...if I can stay awake.

Until next time...

Kelly 💚

[lymechallenged]

Written December 9, 2022

THE NEUROLOGIST....Not Sure Where or How He Got His License!!

I will get back to the beginning of my #lymechallenge after this post. I absolutely must tell about the Neurologist I saw today. This is where the 100 trains are all trying to take the same track at the same time, so bear with me. The conductor has had one hell of a day!

I was referred to a neurologist by my PCP because of the severe pain in my lower back and knees. She had referred me to physical therapy on 4 different occasions and not once did I get relief. Most times PT only aggravated the pain. So off to a neurologist I go. My first visit with him was on September 6, 2022. I was told to be there 30 minutes early to fill out needed paperwork. I checked in at the front desk 30 minutes before my appointment time and had a seat in the waiting room to fill out the papers. Same old papers you fill out at every new doctor appointment. I normally have pretty neat handwriting but sitting in an uncomfortable chair, in severe pain, trying to write on papers on a clipboard on my lap…it was not a pretty sight. But then I thought to myself if the receptionists and nurses could read the doctors handwriting, surely they could decipher my chicken scratches, and I stopped worrying about it, scribbled answers and turned in my paperwork thinking the sooner I got it turned in the sooner I would get called back to see the neurologist. That was wrong. I waited, in the front waiting room for an hour and a half. Maybe it took the receptionist that long to decipher my handwriting. Who knows. I didn't care. I was hurting more by the minute and getting more impatient by the second. Finally a nurse opens the door and calls my name. We go back, she gets my weight, leads me to an exam room where she proceeds to take my vitals, while asking what my symptoms were. Gets her part of the job done and asks me to get on the exam table. Y'all, I am 5' 3" tall. And I am not bean pole skinny by any stretch of the imagination. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that this particular exam table was possibly the tallest one I had ever come across! It literally hit me somewhere around the boobage area. And it had one tiny little step 3 inches off the floor. This table was made for a 7 foot tall person that could not have been bigger around than a fence post. Remember, I am in severe pain, with weakness in both legs. I am short and round. There was NO way I was able to climb up on that table. Even with the nurses help I could not get up there. I get to sit back down in the chair. And thank goodness I could not get on that table because I sat in that exam room waiting on that doctor to come in for another 45 minutes. I would have done fell off that table had I had to sit up there for 45 minutes!

Finally the doctor, for the sake of this post I am going to call him…hhmmm. I don't think I can call him that except in my head. Okay so Dr. CJ. Finally Dr. CJ makes it into the exam room with me. The first words out of his mouth were, "I do not know why you were referred to me. You should have been sent to a neurosurgeon." Dude? You haven't even looked at anything but my eyes yet. Then he promptly tells me to get on the exam table. Where I promptly wanted to tell him where to stick that exam table. (Maybe after waiting so long I had a tiny bit of attitude, or Lyme rage.) He tries to help me on the table. I honestly tried. I honestly could not do it. So he examines me while I am sitting in the chair and I had to stand up a couple times. Walk across the floor, try to stand on my tip-toes without hanging on to anything. I am sure that was comical to watch. And then he starts asking me about my symptoms, where was the pain, what makes it worse, what makes it better…blah blah blah. He then said that he was going to send me across the road to the hospital (the same hospital that he works for) to have an MRI of my spine.

I had to tell him that he should already have the results of the MRI I had done a month before. Then he asked if I had any previous MRIs from any other hospitals. Yes sir. In 2019 at the hospital in Mountain Home and I had them send your office a copy two weeks ago. "Oh, yes. Here they are." While he is comparing the two MRIs, he says, "Excuse me." and takes his cell phone out of his pocket. I am thinking he is calling another doctor to confer with or something of that nature. Boy was I ever wrong.

He, no joke, called someone and made lunch plans! Excuse me?!? EXCUSE ME!?! That was when I should have got up and walked out but I, for some reason, was rooted to my chair. He finally gets off the phone and tells me he is going to send a prescription for Gabapentin to my pharmacy. I TRY to tell him that I have taken Gabapentin in the past and it did absolutely nothing to help the pain. He said, "Up the dosage. I am referring you to a pain clinic. I will see you back in 3 months." (Pain clinics are for another post.) He walked out of the room and shut the door. Can someone please tell me if my appointment is over? Should I wait here? Should I go to check out? Am I supposed to practice getting on and off the exam table? Are you holding me hostage? Are you buying me lunch? I open the door and the nurse was just about to come in. I probably could have gotten on the exam table then because I am sure I jumped at least 6 feet! She had my appointment for the 3 month follow up. I grabbed it and was out the door promising myself that I would not even entertain the idea of making it to that appointment. The following day I received an email from them wanting me to fill out a survey on how my "experience" was with Dr. CJ and his clinic. I often get these surveys from doctors offices, clinics, hospitals, etc. that I have been to. I usually do not fill them out. This particular one, I did. I told them about him getting on his cell phone in the middle of my exam to make lunch plans. I told them he was rude, obnoxious, and the wait time was horrendous, and the building was in in need of a makeover. Inside and out. God knows they should have enough money to renovate! I got a "thank you for taking the time to fill out this survey" email and pretty much forgot about it.

I changed my mind and made it to that appointment. I thought well maybe he was having an "off" day, as was I and I should give him another chance. All I can say is the ceiling tiles that had water damage had been replaced, the torn chairs had not, and the doctor was still rude and obnoxious. The wait time was no better even though they weren't half as busy as they were the last time I was there. When the nurse came and called my name to come back, again she weighed me, then took me to an exam room with a much shorter and newer looking exam table. And I am thinking to myself that at least they upgraded that! And this is what took place: the nurse told me I could have a seat in one of the chairs, which I did. She got my vitals, asked me some questions and then told me that she would be back and move me to another room as soon as one was available. What? What is wrong with the one I was in? And then she told me that if the lights went out while I was waiting to just wave my arms and they would come back on. Again…WHAT? I guess I fidgeted enough that the motion sensor on the lights kept them on and I did not have to wave my arms like I was trying to stop traffic. After about 10 minutes she came back and took me to the other side of the building, the side I had been on the first time I had been there. As a matter of fact, it was the same room I had been in before. With the 7 foot tall exam table. The nurse did not ask me to get on it. Said the doctor would be with me in a few minutes. Uh huh, we shall see. While I am sitting there impatiently waiting, I notice a bright pink piece of paper on the opposite wall from me that was not there at my last visit. I seriously wondered if they put that sign up for the patients benefit or for Dr. CJ's.

I got a little chuckle out of that one. My chuckle didn't help my impatience at having to wait on this slug of a doctor. I heard him enter the exam room next to me where a very loud man immediately started talking. I heard every word he said. The entire office probably heard every word he said. Just one of those people with a booming voice that carries for miles. The only problem was…he did not shut his mouth. I never heard the doctor say a word. If the doctor did speak, the man must have just kept right on talking over him. I couldn't tell you why the man was there to begin with but whatever his problems were he was positive they all started "several years ago when he got into a fist fight with a man." I am losing even more patience because the guy would not shut up and let me have my turn!!

My appointment was at 9:45 a.m. It was now 11:13 a.m. and Dr. CJ finally comes in the room. And he again promptly tells me to get on the 7 foot tall exam table. And again I gave it my best shot. It was a no go…again. Too much pain in my back and legs. Table too tall. I am just too short. He does the same things he did last time I was there and refers me to a neurosurgeon. Says he wants to see me again in 3 months. Well, if he wants to see me in 3 months or 3 years, he can damn well come find me because I refuse to go back to him.

Has anyone had horrible experiences at a doctors appointment? Feel free to share even if it is not Lyme related.

Until next time…

lymechallenged

Kelly 💚

[lymechallenged]

I Just Want A Place To Tell My Story

Being new to Tumblr, and being of the GenX era, I have noticed that Tumblr is full of younger adults. I find nothing wrong with that but please do not judge me based on my age or ignorance of Tumblr. I have a #lymechallenged brain, I am disabled from a tick bite, and I just want a place where I can tell my story and share my research...even if no one reads any of it.

[lymechallenged]

Back To The "Inactive" Ingredients...

When I finally felt up to it, I did a little more research on the inactive ingredients in the generic Xanax (alprazolam) that I got when I refilled my prescription. The reason I was curious was because they were a different shape than the ones I had been getting and after a month of taking them, realized that I had slept almost the entire month of December. When I was awake, I felt like an alien had taken over my body. Thankfully I still had November's empty bottle and found the two different drug companies and was able to compare "inactive" ingredients. I really don't know why they call them "inactive" ingredients because they are in fact very "active" for some people.

The inactive ingredients in the round one, which are manufactured by Actavis Elizabeth LLC and distributed by Actavis Pharma, Inc., are listed as: colloidal silicon dioxide, corn starch, docusate sodium, lactose monohydrate, magnesium stearate, microcrystalline cellulose, and sodium benzoate. The 1 mg tablet also contains FD&C blue #2 aluminum lake.

Lets go over each of these.

Colloidal silicon dioxide: is sand or quartz which is consumed as part of the natural human diet. It is a commonly used filler product. Also known as colloidal silica, it is found in many food and medicine products. It is also used as a thickener in things such as paint, shampoo, cosmetics, the list goes on. But in medications it is often used as an anti-caking agent, absorbent, or glidant. Top medications with colloidal silicon dioxide are: hydrocodone, cyclobenzaprine, oxycodone, Percocet, trazadone, and alprazolam (xanax). Silicone Dioxide is known to cause bone spurs.

Corn starch: cornstarch is a common ingredient made from the starchy portion of corn kernels known as the endosperm. It is used as a thickening agent in many foods and medications.

Docusate Sodium: it is the sodium salt of docusate, a dioctyl salt and an emollient laxative with stool-softening activity. Docusate decreases surface tension and emulsification of fecal matter and allows water to penetrate and mix with stool. As a result, it softens the stool. I have yet to find out why they put this in alprazolam.

Lactose monohydrate: is a crystallized form of milk sugar. It is commonly used as a filler or binder for medications and added to packaged foods, baked goods, and infant formulas as a sweetener or stabilizer. This additive is widely considered safe and may not cause symptoms in those who are otherwise lactose intolerant. Lactose is commonly used as a diluent/binder in order to produce tablets of sufficient hardness.

Magnesium stearate: is a flow agent (a lubricant) that forms films on tablets leading to a decrease in hardness.

Hold up....now we have a product to create sufficient hardness and a product to decrease hardness. WHAT???

Back to magnesium stearate...Biofilms are immobile communities of bacteria that form when bacteria stick to a surface and cause slimy layers on surfaces. Therefore it can cause formation of harmful biofilms in the intestine. This is sounding better all the time...

Microcrystalline cellulose: is a refined wood pulp. Yes, you read that correctly. It is used as a texturizer, an anti-caking agent, a fat substitute, an emulsifier, an extender, and a bulking agent in food production. The most common form is used in vitamin supplements or tablets. It is used in cosmetics as an abrasive, absorbent, anti-caking agent, aqueous viscosity increasing agent, binder, bulking agent, emulsion stabilizer, slip modifier, and texturizer, which can be found in various hair and skin care products as well as makeup. It it provides dietary bulk and may lead to a laxative effect.

Maybe I could save money on medications if I just eat my makeup and drink my shampoo... and I certainly will not need any laxatives in the near future.

Sodium benzoate: is a man made compound used as a preservative to soft drinks, packaged foods, personal care products, and.....medications. It is a combination of benzoic acid and sodium hydroxide (I am not even going to go into breaking those two down right now.) Sodium benzoate prevents the growth of potentially harmful bacteria, mold, and other microbes in foods, soft drinks, medications, etc. (I guess this is added to keep those slimy biofilms in check!) It is also used as a preservative in cosmetics, hair products, baby wipes, toothpaste, mouthwash, etc. What shocked me, and at this point in my research I am not sure why anything shocks me, is that it is used as a stabilizer in photo processing, it is used to improve the strength of some plastics, and one of the biggest applications of sodium benzoate...it is used to deter corrosion in car engines. So not only can it keep my car engine from going balls up, I can wipe my baby's ass with it, AND put it in my body because I have anxiety!! Oh boy!! Let's continue with sodium benzoate, shall we? It has the ability to convert to benzene which is a carcinogen. Benzene is a chemical that is a colorless or light yellow liquid at room temperature. It has a sweet odor and is highly flammable. Benzene is widely used in the United States. It ranks in the top 20 chemicals for production volume. Some industries use benzene to make other chemicals that are used to make plastics, resins, and nylon and synthetic fibers. Benzene is also used to make some types of lubricants, rubbers, dyes, detergents, drugs, and pesticides. Benzene works by causing cells not to work correctly. For example, it can cause bone marrow not to produce enough red blood cells, which can lead to anemia. Also, it can damage the immune system by changing blood levels of antibodies and causing the loss of white blood cells. It can cause ADHD, it creates free radicals that damage your cells and increase chronic disease risk, it causes obesity and allergies, it depletes your body of the amino acid, carnitine, which plays a critical role in energy production, and it causes other health concerns that include inflammation promoting cancer development. I think that is more than enough on that one! Moving on...

The last inactive ingredient listed depends on what strength you take. The 0.5 mg tablet contains FD&C yellow #6 aluminum lake (sunset yellow lake). The 1 mg tablet contains FD&C blue #2 aluminum lake. The 2 mg tablet contains FD&C yellow #10 aluminum lake. I take the 1 mg tablets so I researched FD&C blue #2 aluminum lake. Here are the findings: According to the FDA, lakes are formed by reacting straight colors (such as FD&C Blue No. 2 Aluminum) with precipitants and salts. Lakes may be used as color additives for tablet coatings due to their stability. The FDA states that D&C Blue No. 2 Aluminum Lake may be safely used as a color additive when their specifications are followed. So what is the difference between a dye and a lake? Dye colors are water soluble and can be man-made or natural. These colors produce very vibrant hues and stay clear in clear bases. Lake colors are man-made and an oil dispersible combination of dyes and a substrate material such as aluminum or barium. They tend to slightly cloud clear bases. Here again, I am not going to break down aluminum or barium. Though at this point in the research of inactive ingredients in alprazolam/Xanax, I am sure both have negative effects on a persons body. Blue 2 Lake is water soluble, organic salt derived from indigo by sulfonation. Commercially, it is produced synthetically from coal tar. It is deep blue dye that imparts a violet to blue shade in applications. It is approved to be used as a blue food colorant in the U.S and E.U. It is also used as a pH indicator. It may cause skin sensitivity, a rash similar to nettle rash, high blood pressure, itching and breathing problems. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration says that FD&C blue no. 2 is safe for use in food and supplements, according to the Code of Federal Regulations. The Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI) asserts that Blue No. 2 is not safe for human consumption. Since it adds nothing to the nutritive value of food and evidence for its safety is questionable, CSPI recommends it not be used in foods or medications.

So now the question is...what do I do with all of this information? How can they be "inactive" ingredients when they clearly have adverse effects on humans? If I don't take my alprazolam, how will I control my anxiety? And that is just one of my medications. And I haven't even compared the inactive ingredients of alprazolam in the two different manufactures that I have received the medication from. I am sure they are pretty much the same but SOMETHING has to be different for my body to react to them differently.

Yes...it has taken me 10 days from when I started this post to actually finish it and post it. Do not judge.

[lymechallenged]

The Start Of 2023...

I really wanted to start off 2023 being happy and positive. It wasn't a New Year resolution, I just wanted to be happy and positive for a change. I tried but my anxiety has been at it's max the past week or two. I cannot seem to get it under control. There are moments when I think that it is going to get better and out of the blue it will hit me again. Between the anxiety, depression, and constant, unrelenting pain, I often wonder why I am still here.

[lymechallenged]

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I hope 2023 brings everyone peace, joy, happiness, love, and good health.

[lymechallenged]

Just Exactly What Are The "Inactive" Ingredients In Our Medications?

This past month, I have not been able to stay out of bed! I have been so exhausted. I have had very little to NO motivation to do anything. Christmas was difficult for me this year because of this. It made me terribly sad, and more than a little pissed off at this damn disease, because this was my first grandbaby's first Christmas. And I felt like I was in a foggy, sleepy haze the entire time. And on top of all of that, my anxiety has been absolutely through the roof! This has been going on since the end of November. About a week ago, I was smack in the middle of a really bad anxiety attack. To the point that I was seriously thinking about going to the ER. Then my baby sister called. I told her that I was having a really bad anxiety attack and her response was, "take a Xanax." Trust me...I already had! It just seemed to me that it wasn't helping at all. I got off the phone with sister and soon after I mercifully fell asleep. For some reason when I was waking up, my brain was thinking about my sister telling me to take a Xanax. And it made me think that when I had my prescription refilled at the end of November, my Xanax were round instead of oblong. I didn't think anything of it because occasionally this has happened before. The first time it happened, the pharmacist told me that they had to get them from a different supplier. He assured me they were the same, just shaped different. So, as I was laying there thinking about the different shapes of the medication, the thought that I became extremely sleepy and foggy around the end of November and having my med refilled coincided, I began to think back on the other times I have felt like I couldn't get enough sleep. I am positive it was each time that I got the round pills instead of the oblong ones. I decided to do a little research on the two suppliers to see if the inactive ingredients were the same. What I have learned so far is still baffling my already baffled brain. It was time to refill my meds a few days ago and because of insurance purposes, I had to switch pharmacies. I was really hoping that my Xanax would be the oblong ones so I could see if they made me less foggy and sleepy. No such luck this month. I got the round ones. So I plan on doing some more research, when I can stay awake long enough without having an anxiety attack. Stay tuned for the results.

Until next time,

Kelly 💚