#lying in bed last night i wrote most of chapter 15 in my head but that's......useless.........

[wardencommanderrodimiss]

Chapter 14: most of this is tangential but I think most of you know that’s my writing style by now

Yeah so....apparently spring break is great for my writing brain, because I wrote this in two days. Do I have an essay due in two weeks to think about and a play to read? Yes. Am I? Hell no. Instead, I offer up this chapter, which contains some small worldbuilding and an even smaller amount of stuff that pushes the broad plot, and you can figure out what to call the rest of it

[Beginning] [Chapter Masterlist] [ao3]

“Hey, Clay, I need your expertise.”

“Math, or human interaction?”

“Legally, you shouldn’t be able to be good at both of those at the same time. But, yeah, how do I say ‘sorry that your brother has committed multiple murders and is one of the Fair Folk, checking in to see how you’re doing after all that’ but without sounding either too dismissively casual or overbearingly worried and overstepping the boundaries of this relationship that I don’t know what it actually is?”

“Apollo.”

“Yeah?”

“Dude.”

“Yeah?”

“Your life is fucked way beyond my wheelhouse, dude.”

“Just help me write the damn text.”

-

The first cold winds of winter blow down from the mountains early Monday morning. Apollo wakes around 3 am with a numb nose and, cursing the fae, stumbles out of bed for a hoodie, an extra pair of socks, and the extra blankets he and Clay keep in the hall closet. It happens every year, takes him by surprise every time, but he can’t remember it ever being October when the faery chill hits.

Clay says the same later, when they both are awake for real, and Apollo finds him in the kitchen making coffee that, judging from his wide eyes and frenetic babbling, he doesn’t need. “D’you think it’s something we did?” he asks, slopping coffee onto the counter next to his mug. “We pissed ‘em off digging around and that’s why there’s bad weather so early?” He spins about, sloshing more coffee onto the floor. Apollo with a wordless glare points him to the paper towels. “What if I called in sick and hid at home until the weather is better?”

“Unless there’s snow, I don’t think that’s an excuse,” Apollo says. He pushes the blinds aside. There is not snow on the street below.

“I bet Mr Starbuck won’t go in. I bet Director Cosmos won’t show up. They’re gonna hide safely from the Folk and I’m gonna leave this apartment and die.”

“The more you tell me about how the Center runs, I’m surprised it does run,” Apollo says.

“Bit like your law office,” Clay says.

“True and uncalled for.”

There’s probably some sort of scientific reason behind it; Apollo has tried to look but meteorology makes his head spin. But when winter comes, snow hits the LA area and the mountains of Kurain at lower altitudes than it should be, and nowhere else. And they blame it on the fae and go on with their lives. It’s a stupid city with stupid superstitions that are real. It’s why no one lives here. It’s why Apollo can afford to live here.

He stares into the fridge, decides he’s skipping breakfast and they need to go grocery shopping, and goes to put on a sweater.

Biking to work is hell on these kind of days. He remembers last winter, when Mr Gavin never kept his office warm enough for anyone �� especially not for Apollo, who did the worst with the cold snaps of any of his coworkers. Was it because Kristoph was one of the fae that fae weather didn’t bother him? Does it bother Phoenix? Klavier?

He realizes on opening the door to the agency — he has a key but doesn’t use it, finding that even when he locks the door at night it is open ready for him in the morning — that he dressed anticipating the temperature in Kristoph’s office, not Phoenix’s, which has always been temperate. Maybe the sweater was overkill.

The door swings open to deliver an icy rush of air to his face.

Or maybe not.

“Shit,” he says, tossing his jacket to the couch and breathing into his hands.

He makes for his desk, flipping the light on in the other room and stopping short at the mess piled up around Phoenix’s. He glances back through to the front door. Cleaner than usual, like someone picked up everything littering the floor, and dumped it right in that spot. It’s something to do today, at least. Probably won’t be getting any clients. As usual.

“Shit, it’s cold.” He shivers and rubs his arms and then screams as something soft hits him over the head and shoulders. The world goes dark for several seconds as he wrestles with it, finally flinging to the floor a dark blue blanket. “Oh.”

Glad that no one else is in the office right now, he picks it back up and turns it over in his hands to find it is branded with the Steel Samurai logo. Trucy’s, maybe? She’s never shown a great deal of interest in that sort of television, as far as Apollo knows. He glances up at the bookshelf that sits next to the doorway. It must have fallen from up there — conveniently for the weather and that the office is now a walk-in freezer. He wraps it around his shoulders like a cloak and sets to work on the mess at Phoenix’s desk, because if he has to look at it any longer, he’s going to start breaking out in hives. As long as he can toss it aside and pretend to have dignity should any client wander in, he’ll be fine.

After a few hours of cleaning, he goes to check his hair in the bathroom mirror, remembers that it fell on Saturday — and finds that it has been put together back on the wall. He doesn’t remember exactly what it looked like, having no reason to commit that to memory, but he would swear it is the same one, and he can see and feel a few faint cracks if he squints and runs his hand over it. “This place really is haunted, huh?” he asks, spiking his hair back to its proper shape.

The lights blink, maybe in response, and maybe just a coincidence. “Benevolently haunted,” he adds stupidly, not wanting to offend whatever entity may lurk here. “Because it means that Mr Wright doesn’t have to buy a new mirror.”

The mirror shakes as though rattled by an earthquake, but nothing else does.

Or like laughter. Like it’s shaking with laughter.

Apollo goes back to his desk, the sense of satisfaction he had at cleaning gone — both because of this weird interaction with the office, and because of the onset of existential dread that this is what the rest of his career is going to look like, sprints and bursts of Mr Wright’s fuckery and months of drudgery in between. He’s probably peaked with this Jurist System test case. That’s going to be his biggest professional accomplishment.

He sloughs the blanket off onto his desk, walks back into the main room, and nearly straight into a woman.

“Ack!” Springing backwards, he slams his shoulder into the doorframe. So much for a dignified entrance even without the blanket-cloak. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know anyone was here! You should’ve said something!”

She doesn’t look shocked by him or his outburst and she turns her dark eyes away from the bookshelf to look over Apollo. She wears some sort of robe or traditional garment, and her glossy black hair swings like a cape behind her even with the smallest, slowest movement of her head. “Is your boss here?” she asks.

“Er, Mr Wright — no, he’s not. I can call him and let him know someone’s here -- but he’s not a defense attorney anymore, so if you need some sort of defense, he can’t…” He trails off at her calm, unwavering stare. If she knows that he isn’t the Wright on the door, that he isn’t the one in charge, she probably knows Phoenix, and she probably knows what happened to him. “I’ll, uh, call him.”

She bows her head and drifts toward the piano. Apollo ducks back around the doorway to give himself a moment for silent screaming before he dials Phoenix’s number, and, to his lack of surprise, reaches voicemail. He starts to text Trucy, realizes that she is probably in school at this time, texts her anyway, and then Phoenix.

Someone at office to see you

The woman has lifted the cover of the piano keys and runs her finger down the edges without compressing any to make a sound. Apollo can’t begin to guess how old she is — his age? Mr Wright’s age? Something ancient and out of time? She turns back to him, the curtain of her hair swinging. “Can I get you anything?” Apollo asks. He wishes he had Trucy; she is too good at setting people at ease, at setting the office at ease, at offsetting this tension that is tightening in his lungs and in the frozen air. “While you wait?”

“Be careful in your questions, little dragon,” she says softly. “Do not let them dangle so open-ended.”

“I…” He closes his mouth. She tilts her head. Her hair looks strange, the way the light hits it; when she moves, it highlights auburn red, like the color is layered beneath it, except that makes no sense because he can see the hair that frames her face and how it is black down behind her neck. “What did you say your name was, again?”

He knows she didn’t say her name.

She smiles. “Clever little dragon,” she says. “You may, as many do, call me Iris.”

With his heart in his mouth, Apollo nods.

She walks her slender fingers down the piano keys. The notes creak out hoarsely, as if it hasn’t been touched, let alone tuned, in many years. Knowing Mr Wright, he probably got it off the sidewalk somewhere. Iris makes no attempt at a melody, does nothing but plunk out staccato little croaks. All the while, the office grows colder. Apollo throws open the blinds, hoping the sunlight will help alleviate the chill and counter the way the ceiling lights are flickering and dimming.

Haunted. Yeah, that’s it.

The door swings open and Phoenix enters in a different drab ugly hoodie than his usual, his blue beanie pulled down low over his forehead and a bright pink scarf hiding the rest of his face but his eyes. That answers Apollo’s question about how much he feels the cold, and it is not enough to muffle his, “Aw, shit,” or distract from the way his black eyes immediately turn blue.

Whatever air of mystery Apollo thought that Iris had evaporates. She bows, her hair falling as a veil around her face, and with her face still toward the floor she says in a rush, “The Mystics are both immensely preoccupied and wished for me to appear in their steads, else I would not come here or elsewhere to bother you—”

“Hey, no worries.” Phoenix holds up his hands in a placating gesture of surrender; they blink red like lies. “It’s not you, specifically.” That appears as truth. “Any time any of your family shows up impromptu, I know I’m in for some shit. What’s up?”

Iris lifts her head, shakes her hair back from her big sad eyes. “You’re making waves again,” she says.

“In the Court? Because I knew I was doing that here.” Phoenix reaches up to take his beanie off and then seems to think better of it, instead only partially unwinding his scarf. “Of course it’s in the Court. You’re all freezing me to death. Carry that message to the Mystics.”

Iris’ lips twitch. “Ah, but that pink is such a good color on you.”

Time seems to stop, for a moment, a pendulum halfway through its swing, something heavy sinking down onto all of them. Iris’ eyes widen; one foot shifts back. Phoenix’s eyebrows lower, just for a second, just so that Apollo can see something is passing between them, and then he laughs and breaks the spell and says, “Isn’t it? Trucy made it for me; the beanie, too. She’s been knitting since she was little and she’s gotten really good at it, except for color matching — you should see what she gives to Edgeworth. She probably does it on purpose. Apollo.” He jumps. He hadn’t expected the sudden shift in Phoenix’s mood, had expected to be forgotten as soon as the woman began speaking. “Don’t let Trucy know when your birthday is unless you want…” Phoenix rubs a hand over his chin. “Purple or magenta, probably, for you. Maybe chartreuse. You’re already doomed for Christmas.”

Apollo nods numbly.

(He can’t tell Trucy his birthday because doesn’t actually know his real birthday. Dhurke had a range of two months and Datz tossed a knife at the calendar to pick.)

“She sounds like a good child,” Iris says.

“She’s the best.” Phoenix grins, and then he sighs, and his shoulders slump forward. “So. Situation at the Court. Is this about the Jurist System? I was imagining that just like certain people here aren’t happy about letting average citizens make judgments, some of you might not be, either.”

Iris nods. “Sharp as ever, Feenie.”

Apollo chokes on air.

Feenie?

The glare that Phoenix turns on him could split rock.

Phoenix’s statement catches up to him a moment later. “Wait — why would the — the Fair Folk care about what we’re doing with our courts here?” Apollo asks.

Then he waits to be shut out again, like always.

“We find it a fair, neutral ground to resolve our disagreements,” Iris says. “It is an agreement we hold dear to prevent unnecessary bloodshed.”

“Was it ever a formally written agreement?” Phoenix asks. “Mia never said when she told me all that, but I can’t imagine you would all adhere to something without explicit terms.”

“You lawyers are much the same in that regard,” Iris says.

“Ain’t that the old joke,” Phoenix mutters. Leaning against the bookshelf, he doesn’t look at ease, eyes pale darting between Iris at the piano and Apollo standing lost alone in the center of the room by the couch, but he speaks with a sort of casualness that Apollo hasn’t heard from him. “So since the way we’re conducting our trials is changing, hopefully, the Court will have to change — and that’s, well…” He shrugs. “They don’t like change, much.”

“That was my mother’s folly,” Iris says softly. “And the former Queen Mystic, perhaps that she loved it too much. But yes.” She raises her head and reaches into one of her billowing sleeves, producing from it a scroll. “We wrote an agreement, and that is what the Mystics wished you to review.” She drops one end and the page unfurls to the floor and rolls across it.

“I don’t know how to read,” Phoenix deadpans.

Apollo cannot pretend his laugh is anything but a laugh.

Iris frowns and snaps her wrist and the scroll bounces up like a yo-yo into her hand. “I do not at this time know there is any clause in this stating that we need a verdict in your courts to be rendered by a lone judge and not a jury — and if there is, the Mystics will change it — but you as our go-between should stand as part of our process.”

Phoenix breathes in deeply, pulling up his shoulders and closing his eyes. “There’s not even a clause that says the judge presiding has to be human — just that verdict is rendered in a human court. You probably won’t have to change any wording; just minds.” He opens his eyes. “I need to clear off my desk, first. It was a damn shitshow.”

Apollo opens his mouth to mention that, but Phoenix has already ducked into the next room. He waits, unsure of where he belongs, as Iris drifts into the doorway; and then Phoenix reappears, his features contracted in confusion. “My desk — yesterday — did someone…?” He gestures between Apollo and Iris in a vain search for words.

“Oh,” Apollo says. “Yeah. I didn’t have anything else to do this morning.”

Phoenix blinks, again. If he had nothing else to do, he probably still would have done anything else. “Oh. Well, thank you.”

He disappears again, Iris trailing after him, just barely brushing the door with her hand and leaving it in its half-closed state. Apollo stands rooted in the center of the room, swallowed halfway up by the cold.

He… thanked me?

Apollo’s phone chimes with a text from Trucy. He sends back a scolding, knowing it will only encourage her slacking further, and then sinks into the couch. He has no place in the politics of the Court, wants no place in it, not like Phoenix — what did he always say? Young and too stupid to know better. Apollo wants to know better. Apollo doesn’t want to step any further into this.

Feenie.

He and Iris weren’t in a relationship, were they? Is that what Phoenix meant? Is that how this began, this part of his life?

Personal involvement with the fae seems like a good way to fall down that rabbit hole. Avoid that, Apollo thinks, and he finds that he has written those two words, avoid that, on the yellow legal pad left sitting on the coffee table. Avoid that. Right. Like he can do that, with his phone buzzing with another message from Trucy and weighted with another message he hasn’t sent.

Maybe better not to overthink it.

-

Hey How are you doing How’s it going How’re things How’re you doing Sorry about your brother Heard about the band. sorry

-

“Polly! I need to get you stuff for the weather!” Trucy, with some difficulty, pulls off her scarf — royal blue, and a little lumpy and holey, like it was an earlier prototype — and throws it at him. “It gets cold in here!”

“Yeah, I noticed.” He has spent the afternoon huddled into the couch, hoping for reprieve that eventually came; maybe it got a little warmer in this part of the office, or maybe he went numb. Remembering what Phoenix said about getting knitwear for presents, he buries his face in Trucy’s scarf anyway. He can’t feel his nose. “Warm.”

She throws herself onto the couch across from him. “Daddy is still meeting with whoever?” He nods. She frowns. “Is it jury stuff or… stuff?”

The weekend’s adventure lingers in their mind. “Jury stuff, but still with… stuff.”

A few more stuffs deep and they’re not going to know what they’re both talking about, but Trucy seems to realize that as well and drags her algebra textbook out of her bag. She scratches numbers onto a legal pad, mumbling the whole time, while Apollo tries to jog his memory and solve the problems upside-down. It is easy in the quiet to hear when the conversation in the next room draws toward the door and when it creaks open.

“—was warned not to expect anything.” That’s Phoenix, his back toward them, pushing the door open further. He looks over his shoulder and waves at Trucy. “Thought I should ask anyway.”

“But I will ask the Mystics what they know nonetheless.” Iris carries herself with some sort of innate unease, like she thinks — or knows — herself unwelcome here. Apollo hadn’t noticed it at first, but now, hours later, she still stands as if wanting to shrink, arms tight to herself. “If somewhere in their secrets they know something, they have spoken nothing of it to me; but you are right that this is not our family’s parlance. Even my sister, given choice, preferred to deal in names, not souls.”

“Her sole virtue,” Phoenix says bitterly, and Trucy’s eyes widen at the sharpness of it. Apollo has grown used to deadpan and cynical and sarcastic, but all without much bite. Not like this.

Iris bows her head low as in apology. “And this must be your daughter,” she says, raising it and turning her sad eyes toward her and Apollo. Like before, when Phoenix talked about the scarf, something of the mention of Trucy seems to fan apart the thick tense smog.

Trucy sits up straight and squares her shoulders, her biggest grin finding its way into place. “Yes, I’m Trucy!” she chirps. “It’s very nice to meet you!”

“This is Iris,” Phoenix says. “She’s an old friend.”

That sentence is not visibly a lie, but Phoenix’s eyes flicker toward Apollo, doubtlessly recalling earlier, and Apollo would bet there’s a little more to it than that.

“I’ve heard a great deal about you, little firebird,” Iris says. “Your father is very proud, and rightfully so.”

“Oh!” Trucy rubs the back of her head. “Um, thanks! But it’s nothing, nothing really—”

Iris’ eyes snap toward Apollo; she stares him down for two long, silent seconds before her gaze drifts across Trucy and back to Phoenix. He cocks his head slightly and raises a shoulder. It might be a simple stretch, but it might be a nod back into the room behind them, and it might be something else passed between them. Iris raises a hand to her cheek, eyes wide, surprised.

“What are you talking about?” Trucy asks, hands on her hips. She stands up.

“We said exactly zero words, Truce,” Phoenix says lightly. He raises an eyebrow at Iris. Her hand at her mouth, she nods.

“Your father mentioned your brave face in the worst of times,” Iris says. “And your modesty, and your lovely smile. And here you greet me with all of that, and I find he is right in all he said.”

And nowhere is she saying that’s what she was silently communicating, but the barrage of compliments seems to have upset Trucy’s footing enough for her to let it go. “He mentioned you knit,” Iris adds. “I used to, as well, a few lifetimes ago, and I believe I still have some yarn I did not leave behind. I might gift it to you, if you wish.”

Those are fae words, carefully constructed, carefully closed: a gift. “I think I need more.” Trucy taps her chin. “I definitely do. That would be great!”

Iris smiles.

“A few lifetimes ago,” Phoenix echoes, and he snorts. “You’re making me feel old, if college was a few lifetimes ago.”

College. Apollo files that away in the same place he has reluctantly stored the nickname Feenie.

“And your teenage daughter makes you feel — what, exactly? Young?” Iris doesn’t smile with her teeth; everything is closed lips, very slight, delicate, and shy expressions. Everything about her is compact and controlled, as though she wants to be overlooked — everything but her hair, gleaming with fire or autumnal leaves.

“Absolutely.” Phoenix’s face does not twitch. “That is exactly it — wait. Wait wait.” He holds up a hand and Iris jumps. “You’ve had the yarn, not stashed away somewhere here, but you took it back with you?” She nods. They’ve obviously communicated about what the hell he means by these vague location words before. “So… we are going to end up with glamour-enchanted scarves and hats, yes or no?”

“Oh!” Iris scrunches her brows together, deep in thought. “I…” She slowly lifts her hand away from her chin. “I have no idea. Does this mean you don’t want it?”

“I kind of want Trucy to have it even more now,” Phoenix says, also with his hand on his chin, “just to see.”

“It’ll be an experiment!” Trucy says. “Magic fashion!”

“You sound like Ema,” Apollo says.

“Ema would love this, I bet,” Phoenix says. “It’s probably the most harmless version of all the bullshit experiments she talked about wanting to try, years back.”

Iris smiles again and ducks her head. “I am glad I have something to give.” Something solemn is packed in between the words. The corners of Phoenix’s grin fall. “For you, then, little firebird, a gift.” Apollo almost expects her to produce some balls of yarn from within her sleeves, but she instead simply drifts toward the door.

“You’re heading out that way?” Phoenix asks.

“Daddy, you know there’s only one door in this office,” Trucy says. “Unless she wants to go out the window.”

She’s brilliantly, uniquely perceptive, Phoenix has always said, Apollo has come to see as well, but sometimes the obvious flashes right by her like a wisp come and gone.

“I found, preparing for my visit, some cash I never spent all those years ago,” Iris says. “I thought I might get myself some coffee. I rather miss it.”

“Maya still has no idea what to do with a coffee machine, huh.” Phoenix chuckles, shaking his head. In context, knowing what Iris is, Maya can only be another of the fae — and Phoenix laughs at her, with something like fondness. Something that maybe is fondness.

“I would never dare to speak ill of the Mystic,” Iris says.

“That’s exactly all the answer I needed,” Phoenix says, holding up his hands in mock-surrender. He leans back against the wall, and, a moment later, as Iris has almost reached the door, says, “Oh, hey, I don’t even know if you were thinking about there — the place just off the quad, with the name that—”

“The Vine Yard?”

“Yes!” Phoenix snaps his fingers together. “The one we said sounded like a place you should be able to get wine. That closed up years back, I forget what kinda restaurant replaced it. All I remember is Maya and I got kicked out so it could be anything.” He shrugs and his shoulders fold in on themselves. Reminiscing lets a wall down and he seems now to regret it, to take back the words he’s let himself release into the air in front of Trucy and Apollo. “Maybe you weren’t even thinking about that and were just gonna wander into wherever, which I recommend, but—” He shrugs again. “Didn’t want you to go looking for something that’s not there anymore.”

Her hair swings past her eyes when she bows her head in acknowledgement. It looks redder again. “No,” she says. “I would not want to do that, either.” She lays a hand on the door, her long white nails catching the light, and she turns back one last time to glance over Trucy and Apollo. “Take care, all of you — and do take care of your father.” Her eyes twinkle. “He needs it.”

“Hey!”

The door closes behind her and the entire office seems to shudder, settle on its foundations, the blinds rattling in their places and the lights warming in their tone to something less harsh than they were. Apollo exhales and no longer sees his breath. “So,” Trucy says, swiveling in place, bouncing in a way that Apollo always takes to mean trouble. “Who is she, Daddy? Are you—”

“Trucy, darling, sweetheart, light of my life—” Phoenix crosses the office in a few large steps to stand in front of Trucy and lightly clap his palms against her cheeks. “I know how you’re going to finish this sentence, and I know you want to have more than one parent in your life, and I know I want that for you too, but please, in this instance, on this day, take your question and swallow it and lock it away deep in your soul and never think of uttering it in this direction ever again.”

Trucy’s cheeks are ballooned like she has the words stored up and ready to go, but she nods. Phoenix taps her on the face again. “Good.”

She manages silence for less than a second before she blurts, with all the force of something that physically pained her to contain, “So she’s your ex-girlfriend, then?”

Phoenix presses his hands over his face and slumps forward. “Trucy!”

“I want to clarify!” Trucy throws her hands in the air. “So I don’t say more stupid things!”

Phoenix laughs for what feels to be a long time, almost stopping and then looking at Trucy and Apollo and doubling over again wheezing. “No,” he gasps, finally. “I never dated Iris.”

It must be a lie — Apollo can’t believe it’s anything but a lie — but he can’t see that it is.

-

On Tuesday morning, the cold has slightly abated, Klavier has not responded to his text, and in the middle of the office Apollo finds a box of brightly-colored yarn sitting in the center of a hula hoop. Pink is predominant. 

[arsonistslut]

Suddenly...Liu woke up. His face didn't feel like it was burning anymore, and the sunshine that flowed into his room was starkly different from the darkness of the room he was just attacked in. It wasn't just that, though, everything around him seemed to be in a sort of dreamy haze. He was about to stand when his brother burst in the room. Liu nearly jumped out of his skin, quickly realizing that the scars that riddled Jeff's body before were totally gone. Was everything from before just a dream?

"Wake up, bro! You're gonna be late for school!"

All he could do was just stare at Jeff, confusion riddling his face.

"You alright, man?"

"..Y-Yeah, I'm fine!"

Liu rushed out of his bed and began preparing for school as his brother waited downstairs, rushing down as well once he was ready and walking into the kitchen, expecting the same wordless room where his parents usually were in the morning. Carla looked over at her son and smiled as she ruffled his hair.

"Good morning, you two!"

"Mornin' mama!"

Liu thought something was deeply wrong. His brother was never this jovial, and their parents barely ever talked to them in the slightest, and that was for 15 years! Was..was that all a bad dream? Was all that Sully shit a bad dream, was Jeff getting set on fire a bad dream? When him and his brother got to the school bus, Jeff sat next to one of the other kids, and Natalie sat next to Liu.

"Hi, handsome!~"

"Hey, Nat! How are you?"

Liu was thankful that at least she didn't change.

"I'm doing really well, my dad's recently gotten arrested, so now I'm living with my grandma, she's a sweetheart!"

"O-Oh, that's great!"

"Hey, did you hear about Jeff's new girlfriend?"

"No, he never told me! What's her name?"

"Cassie! I'm gonna be honest, those two are the cutest. They're such sweethearts, they're practically made for each other!"

"That's wonderful!"

Liu then looked outside the window..he couldn't help but wonder how he'd just realized this, but it was such a beautiful day outside! The birds were singing, the flowers were blooming, days like this came practically once every century in New Orleans. Maybe everything from before really was just a bad dream.

A delighted giggle came from Sully as he watched Liu go about his day in the world he'd so carefully crafted for him in his head.

"Finally safe..safe from the horrors that would taint your pure soul."

Nina boredly flipped through the late night channels, sighing as she wasn't able to find anything that interested her. It was far past her bedtime, and her eyelids were getting heavy, so when a particularly eye-catching news report showed up, it grabbed her attention right away.

"And now, we turn to New Orleans, which has been the site of a brutal massacre tonight, as 7 people have been recently found brutally murdered over the course of an hour. Police are not releasing any names of the victims, but they have apprehended a suspect who they believe is the killer, 17 year old Jeffrey Woods was recently arrested after having set the house of Bruce and Aurora Arkansas on fire. The lone survivors of this horrible night are reportedly one individual, along with the daughter of Bruce and Aurora. Liu Woods, Jeffrey's brother, has gone missing, if you have any information regarding where he may be, please contact the police. We do have footage of Jeffrey's arrest, but be warned, it may disturb some viewers."

The TV then showed footage of a group of police officers surround a pale teenager, his whole body caked in blood. Jeffrey shrugged and laid his knife down on the ground, placing his hands behind his head and allowing the police to arrest him. As he was led to the back of a cruiser, Jeff looked into the camera.

"You win some, you lose some, I guess."

The TV then cut back to the clearly shaken reporter.

"We'll provide more information as it comes to us. IN other news.."

Nina shut her TV off, a wide smile growing on her face. She couldn't quite place her finger on it, but she related to Jeff. What was keeping someone like her from going on a rampage like that...? Snatching her laptop off her desk, Nina quickly logged onto 4-Chan and started a thread. She pondered over what to call it, then typed in an adequate name.

"Jeff's Killers."

Chapter 19: "Nothing but pure evil"

"Jeffrey..do you feel even the slightest bit of guilt for your actions?"

Woods had shown no shame throughout his trial. No guilt or remorse for his actions. He sure as shit wanted to, but when the judge asked him that question, he couldn't restrain the smile that came to his face as he remembered how good it felt to plunge his knife into his father's head, how good it felt to snap Troy's neck, how good it felt to drop that match. Besides, wasn't Zalgo right? This was going to keep happening until he died.

"I don't. They all deserved what they got. Besides, I didn't have any other choice."

Silence followed his words. Some gasped, some began to sob, some just laughed in amazement, but most of the courthouse was silent.

"Jeffrey Woods..you are nothing but pure evil. This court finds you guilty of all charges, and sentences you to death."

The judge forced back tears and pointed toward the door.

"Get him out of here.."

Woods was led away by a pair of policemen, and the courtroom cheered as he was led away.

"And then, my sentence got reduced to life in prison, and now..here we are, doctor."

"I see.."

Dr. Oborn wrote down more notes in his clipboard, before looking back up at his patient.

"Doc..can I ask you a question?"

"Of course, Jeffrey."

"...Was that judge right? A-Am I just..evil?"

"While murder is a horrific crime, and many people do seem to see you as nothing more than a psycho who killed for fun, I've spoken with you for over a year now, and I don't believe you to be evil. After what you've told me, I now know that your condition was likely caused by the trauma you referred to earlier."

"..Doc, I.."

Jeff let out a burst of relieved laughter, almost tearing up from joy at the doctor's words.

"You h-have no fuckin' clue how much that means to me! I..I thought I was a lost cause for the longest time..I-I mean, people don't feel happy when they kill someone, y'know?"

"You're not a lost cause, by any means. We've made incredible progress today, and I believe that you will be able to comfortably integrate back into society soon enough. Although, I am confused by one thing."

"What?"

"..How did you know about the things that happened after your hospitalization?"

"Zalgo showed me."

"Zalgo? Who is that?"

"Zalgo is the reason I believe in the afterlife. Apparently, it's a medical miracle I even survived the incident at the party, let alone heal so quickly that my body's now one big lump of scar tissue. Zalgo helped me to survive."

"This is the first time you've mentioned this.."

"Demon."

"Demon to me. You have previously stated your beliefs in Leveyan Satanism, so is this a sort of..representation of the devil?"

"No, the devil isn't real. Zalgo is. Look, can we t-talk about something else?"

Dr. Oborn placed one of his hands on Jeffrey's shoulder, growing concerned due to his growing..worry, almost.

"Is everything alright, son?"

"I...didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

"Nightmares, again?"

"No, I saw things, doctor..I've seen how this world will end."

"You've seen the apocalypse, you say?"

Jeffrey then just shook his head, something he feared he would do suddenly worming it's way into his brain unannounced.

"Jeff..are you having intrusive thoughts?"

"I..I don't want to hurt you, you don't deserve it.."

"Nothing will happen to me, son. I'll be just fine!"

"You..you sure?"

"I'm positive."

"Thank you, doctor.."

"Of course-"

Dr. Oborn was pleasantly surprised when Jeff reached across the table and hugged him, but didn't hesitate in hugging his patient back.

Chapter 20: A new terror

"Listen, man, I know what I saw! Some lanky motherfucker was running around my backyard, and wearing a white hoodie! They didn't catch Jeff The Killer, he's still fucking running-"

Carlos Kennedy changed the channel of his radio, confused as to how someone could genuinely believe that it was a good idea to log onto a radio show, ramble about how you believed a convicted killer was still able to run around your backyard, and think you'll be taken seriously. His attention to that was quickly interrupted by seeing a person lying near the road, face down. The good Samaritan quickly stopped his car and got out, rushing over to the seemingly unconscious person that was lying in a ditch.

"Hello?! A-Are you-"

A knife to Carlos's throat quickly cut him off, blood spraying out of his wound. The girl who stabbed him lifted his corpse off the decoy, a teenager in a white hoodie and a somewhat poorly made, but nonetheless effectively scary Jeff The Killer mask.

"Good work, Jethro."

"All I did was sit here, but thanks, Nina."

This was the first recorded murder committed by Jeff's Killers, after a year of just being a bunch of teenagers hanging out in an abandoned house where a bunch of patricide took place.

[goose-books]

goose-books productions: a 2020 review

view the image in higher quality here! (open the image in a new tab to zoom in.) thank you to my dearest @yvesdot for the template

transcripts and month-by-month details under the cut! for reference, you can find my projects here :-) overall, new and old followers, thank you for another good year over here! [holds your hand] [holds your hand] [holds your hand] [holds your h

january

i spent late 2019-early 2020 working on 2019’s nano project, quark, aka the speculative fiction thing about new york city and prophets and dissections of the chosen one trope and gay people. quark is my second-oldest project (five years!), but it’s also probably the most ambitious, so it’s been... difficult to wrangle into place, and i didn’t end up finishing a first draft. oh, well.

enjoy a snippet that is devastatingly emblematic of everything about quark. the tone. the homoerotic tension. the ensemble cast all talking over each other. the fact that caelum has spent pretty much this entire scene crying. fun autopsy report meeting.

Marble stares at the notebook in Shade’s hands. Or maybe he’s staring at Shade’s hands. Dawn feels a little voyeuristic, so she does what she does and says a dumb and unrelated thing: “Augustus, I think this pizza-on-the-floor thing is hurting my ass.”

Augustus flutters his hands. “Sometimes nonconformity is painful.”

“At least we’re originals,” Caelum mumbles into his sleeve.

“Exactly,” Augustus says.

“True originality doesn’t exist,” Marble says.

“Oh,” Shade deadpans, “it’s going to be a fun autopsy report meeting.”

It isn’t.

february

in january i stressed myself out trying to make the plot of quark work. so in february, i decided to take some time and write something Entirely For Fun. like, entirely for fun, no rules. and. my god. how do i explain the project i started calling “third eye for the bad guy.”

it was an unholy mashup of many of my past hyperfixations, including the gone series, a tale of two cities, warrior cats, and the left hand of darkness. one of the characters was a canon scalie and one was a canon fictionkinnie. it centered around a polycule of wannabe-evil-overlord high schoolers. i only wrote like three chapters but i was lost in the sauce for all of february and then i just… like… wiped it from my mind and moved on? somehow??? one character was a werewolf and that literally wasn’t relevant at ALL

I.

Someone was going to die on these steps.

This had been Ivy Lee Palomo’s thought last year during the all-school photo, and it rose in her mind again now. The one hundred marble stairs leading up to the great double doors of Saint Constantine Academy were the school’s pride and glory, steep as the mountain, sharp as the blade under Ivy Lee’s skirt. With the cutting wind and snow glazing the stone more often than not, with the freshmen wild and wired on their first day of their first year, it was really only a matter of time before someone slipped and cracked their fucking head open.

It wasn’t going to be her. Not when she had Doc Martens and reflexes like an electric coil. Still. Ivy Lee didn’t want to watch someone die. She didn’t get along with dead people.

march

in march, i got back to the project i’d started in 2019 - AMT, my podcast! it’s a shakespeare retelling set in a modern high school; this excerpt is funnier and also more unnerving in context. (double, double, toil and trouble...)

INDRAJIT: What the hell are you doing?

[PAUSE.]

DEE (like she’s lying): Making pasta.

[ALL THREE OF THEM LAUGH.]

NONA: That’s right.

MORA: We have the keys to Mab’s office.

DEE: We’re using her stove.

NONA: To make pasta.

DEE: Do you want some?

[A TENSE PAUSE.]

INDRAJIT: No.

april

and darkling rears its head! all of my other projects have existed for at least a year; darkling (specfic king lear retelling) is... special. it was conceived in april, when i started hyperfixating on king lear, and i still managed to write an absolutely ridiculous amount of content for it. it was like the power of hyperfixation let me speedrun the entire process. which. okay.

iv: control

They say Cressida Stayer was nine years old when she turned her hair to gold. They laid her down in bed blonde, and the next morning, the waves cascading down her shoulders were solid metal, glinting harshly in the sunlight, weighing her down, creating that odd head-cocked expression she still wears now. Nine years old. Two or three years before most people develop enough magic skills to dye a single curl. Much less transfigure their hair into precious metal.

People also say Leovald Stayer’s immediate reaction was to hack it off her head and melt it down for cash. But generally they say that part a lot quieter.

may

in may i wrote AMT episode 15, by which i mean that in may there was a day when i sat in my room with the door shut for literally five straight hours listening to the same three songs on loop as i wrote the climax of one of the plotlines of AMT. so. that sure was… a day.

ISAAC: Do you want… do you want someone to drive you home? Hawk, you’re worrying me -

HAWK (almost cutting him off): Don’t. Don’t say that. I’m here to help. With your… thing.

ISAAC (quietly): I… don’t know if you should be here to see this.

HAWK (a little louder, more audibly upset): Well - what else am I going to do? Go home and - and have my dads talk at me and - and not be able to answer them? Because I can’t? I can’t. I don’t know what to say.

[PAUSE.]

ISAAC (V.O.): I wonder if this is what he feels like, on the outside, looking in at me. Watching someone else hurting. Helpless and afraid.

He still fits perfectly in my arms. I rest my chin on top of his head and pull him close to me, like I can stop him from shaking, like I can stop anything from happening the way I know it’s going to. I bury my face in his hair. He smells so familiar. He’s so warm.

God, Hawk. I love you so much. You shouldn’t be here to see this. Something bad’s gonna happen. And you’re not the kind of person who belongs in a tragedy.

june

okay, honestly, i should talk about “night shift” here, because in june i wrote a whole short story in one night (and then foamed over it for a week), but i am still in the process of submitting it places! so i am terrified to put even a sentence of it online. instead: the other thing i did this month was to finish AMT! (sixteen episodes and somewhere around 175k, iirc, but don’t quote me.) these lines are the opener to the final episode!

RAHMA (V.O.): The combined series of sophomore year disasters stretched through November. It’s June now. It’s taken me… a long time to get this all put together. I was going to make a vlog about it, initially - well, calling it a vlog sounds frivolous. I was going to make a video recounting the whole deal. All of it. From when I kissed Avery Fairchilde to the very last night. I scripted dozens of drafts; I put together dozens of bullet-pointed lists of what to cover… and it was never enough. Because Avery and I weren’t the only ones involved. Even if I was only focused on the two of us, it wasn’t just the two of us.

So… I gathered up everyone else. The whole town of Ellisburg is still talking about the week the town went crazy, but it wasn’t just a week. There was a lot leading up to it. And I think if anyone’s going to talk about it, it should be us. The people who lived it. So here we are. The most ambitious Rahma Ashiq production of all time - at least so far.

july

every july i pause whatever else i’m doing to celebrate the birthday of aurum & argentate, twins from my oldest and dearest WIP The Mortal Realm. july fifteenth! mark your calendars. they’re princes, though argentate would really rather not be; you can read the full birthday piece here.

“Do you… plan to get dressed?” A bit of the usual humor crept back into Aurum’s voice. “Although if you want to speak to the kingdom in your underthings, by all means, you have my full support.”

Argentate scrubbed at his face. He wasn’t dressed, no, but the usual malaise hung over his shoulders like a cloak. Guilt. Nerves. The sick sense that he hadn’t done something he was supposed to. The numb knowledge that it was too late to change a thing.

“I meant to,” he said. “Get dressed, I mean.” The rest went unsaid: I have just been sitting here. On the floor. Thinking about how I should get dressed.

“Ah,” Aurum said, extending his hand. “The traditional route. We’ll save the nude speeches for the future, then.”

Argentate took his hand, stumbling a little as Aurum pulled him to his feet. He steadied himself on the closest wall, taking a few deep breaths. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. His hands found their way to the cross, again and again.

august

this summer, i wrote an entire draft of Valentine Van Velt is Dead, AKA “holden caulfield goes to exposure therapy,” AKA the weird little personal side project i keep tucked into my coat. interesting features include second-person narration from a narrator who doesn’t like the main character all that much. so reading it is kind of like the book wants to kill you? with an added dash of general melancholy.

You used to live here. That’s the thing that’s got you feeling so off.

You didn’t recognize your old house. I mean, you kind of did. You remembered that the road was on a hill. That hill felt like a goddamn forty-five degree angle when you were a kid. But if you didn’t have the address written down you wouldn’t have known it at all. It would have been just another little suburban house in rows of perfect little towns that make your skin crawl.

So now you’re in this diner looking out a gross smudgy window trying to block out the elevator music pumping through the speakers in the ceiling or whatever. I don’t know how speakers work. You’re trying to tune that shit out. The waitress comes over and catches you by surprise so you just point at some coffee thing on the menu so she’ll go away. For the record: you don’t drink coffee.

There’s a public library across the street. A little square building. You probably used to go there. The lady comes over and thunks your coffee on the table and gives you a kind of look, like she wants to know what in the goddamn hell you think you’re doing here and not at school. You sip your coffee and look out the window until she leaves you alone again. And then you spit it back into the cup because, for the record: you don’t drink coffee.

september

i spent september and october prepping for nano, so i was mostly working on darkling...

It’s late spring; still, at this time of night, on a rooftop, there’s a chill. The wind plays with the end of Ruby’s coat, with her hair. She hands the bottle off to Jasper, stares up at the fogged-over sky, wishes she were lying in Dany’s arms in Dany’s bed instead of here. Wishes, even, that Dany were the one on the roof with her. At least then they’d be cold together. At least then she wouldn’t have to imagine what Dany would say; she could just listen, and watch Dany’s flashing smile and her flinty eyes.

(She cuddles. This is another thing Dany does that Dany probably shouldn’t do, based on everything about Dany; it’s not like rattlesnakes cuddle. But Dany likes to nuzzle into Ruby’s side and rest her head on Ruby’s collarbones and toss an arm over Ruby’s chest, and hold her down like she’s worried she’ll float off somewhere. She’ll card her fingers through Ruby’s hair and hum. Even though they could get caught, even though she’s probably got better places to be - Dany cuddles.)

Ruby imagines it, momentarily, both of them on the roof together, sprawled like horrifyingly beautiful gargoyles, sharp teeth flashing, blood running hot. Up here - it’d be like they ruled the world.

But whatever. Jasper’s fun. He’s hot. He’s got a sharp tongue in a lot more ways than one. And she likes when he lets the mask down. She likes seeing the soft bits underneath. She wants to sink her teeth and nails into them so hard she draws blood. Masks don’t bleed. Ruby would know; that’s why she is what she is.

october

...though i was also in creative writing class in school, and thus ended up writing a bunch of poems of varying quality (my teacher had a real thing for poetry) and also one darklingverse short story where rory and cressida hold hands! which you can find here.

Lorelai Rory Flowers is afraid of thunder.

This is a bit of an embarrassing thing to admit, as they’re seventeen (“at least seventeen,” they like to tell people, “maybe two hundred, who’s to say?”) and generally wise beyond their years, or whatever it is that adults say about kids with too much psychological baggage. Being afraid of thunder is not a very wise-beyond-one’s-years trait. And yet the state of affairs remains: loud noises make Rory want to melt into the earth. Back when they still went to school, even the fire alarm sent them scuttling under their desk to hide.

Right now, in the elevator, all they can do is shrink into their sweater.

They haven’t let go of Cressida’s hand yet.

november

and then november of course was nano which was an adventure all the way through. (opening tumblr on the fifth day of nano to find out about d*stiel... was something.)

“Apologize to me. Or get out of my house.”

Gracen’s voice is very, very low. For a moment she thinks he hasn’t heard her at all. Then he spins, eyes blazing. “What did you say?”

Gracen watches her own chest heave. She pushes herself up off the desk, stands with the effort of pushing a mountain off of her back. Leovald is six-foot-four. Gracen is six-foot-two. In her heels, in the heels she must wear to be a professional woman, to be a lady - they are the same height.

Gracen wipes her nose. When she lowers her arm, there’s a streak of blood across the back of her hand. Fire shivers in her chest; her heart rings in her ears; her voice could cut steel.

“I said,” she says, low, slow, volume building, “apologize to me. Or get. Out. Of. My. House.”

december

and finally, the poem i posted this year! it’s called the beast sonnet, and you can find it in its own post over here (with commentary! how sexy.)

i kill the beast and drop down to my knees, my blade stained dark with blood of stygian hue, and for a moment these scarred hands shake free, and hold a world unfurled for me anew. but once-mourned victims, victors, vices find; fear winged me; now its absence strips me bare. my sword now dulls, my legs, my voice, my mind; the beast, pried from my throat, leaves no skill there. and still i hear it laugh, O DEVOTEE— O CHILD DEAR, NO GLORY WITHOUT ME.

i was quite productive this year; i have to think it was because i was avoiding things... the peak of my productivity happened over the summer and in november, AKA, college app hell. (almost done with the last applications! pray for me.)

a general breakdown of what occupied me this year:

(no, i don’t know why the “various other things” category ended up so large... i blame all the one-off projects i wrote a single page for, and also whatever the fuck happened in february. yes, i do know why it looks hideous; it’s because each of my WIPs has a theme color

thank you once again for spending some time at goose-books dot gov this year! what to expect for next year: well, i very much hope i can produce AMT... also hoping to get darkling ready for beta readers, so keep your eyes out!

[purelyfiction]

Title: The Return of A Royal

Summary: Din's found the bounty - and sure, he should be happy about that. Yet there is a lingering disgruntlement, the anger and annoyance ringing through him. Despite it all, he demands an explanation, and Mari knows she has to give him one. After clearing any uncertainties, the two are greeted with uninvited visitors. They leave no trace of the intruders, and move to care for the aftermath that was left. Once it's handled the two can figure out what plans are suitable and what move they can make next.

Word Count: 3,996 (longest one yet!)

TW: injury, canon related violence, use of needles, needle mention, (medical) drug use, semi-nudity

Chapter 5: Truth To Light

There's something running through Din's veins at her answer. It's not blood, not anger - maybe rage. The woman had been full of deceit from the minute she stepped into his life and now he's beyond certain that all he wants is her out of it. Yet here he sits, Child in his lap as the woman tries to give him some form of an explanation that he's unwilling to hear. "What other lies do you have? Hmm? Is there even a Jedi?" The question makes her tongue go dry. It's not a lie. 

However, he'd already sought out her help. She'd gave a disgruntled answer - something about needing to get him to the seeing stone. Which he did. It got both of them nearly killed, and Moff Gideon got away, which was half the reason they were here, hiding out from stormtroopers that had invaded oh so easily. "Well?" Din's voice enters the cockpit with such sharpness, Mari can only look at him. There's an anger bubbling in her. He's got some audacity coming in, acting like she was ruining his job. To be fair, she kind of is. But within reason.

One he seems to not want to hear.

"There is. But you already know her. I wanted you to get me back here, let me get out of your grasp before I told you where she was. So... there's no way to help you until a Jedi finds Grogu." She admits, looking to the familiar floor of her craft. Din lets the kid down, moving to wander about the ship, Mari praying he doesn't get himself into any trouble. His shoulders straighten and he's looming over her. She can hear his breath and tenses up as his voice comes back in, much angrier and much louder.

"So you step into business that isn't yours, try to exploit me and run off before giving me information that you promised me."  His voice is hard, and Mari wouldn't be lying if there wasn't a chill from sheer fear and terror  that he instilled. Maybe that's why he'd let the kid go galloping off. "And continued to lie about your identity, full well knowing I was searching for you, and lead us into the very jackasses we're trying to avoid? You call yourself a bounty hunter?"

She felt so small. So much like her father had as a young child, reminding her that there was a world that would take advantage of her and her power, and to never trust anyone. Mari has to push it all down, standing up to try to even out the distance between the two of them, hot tears starting to burn in her eyes.

"You don't want lies? Fine!  Let me reintroduce myself. My name is Mari Wescro, my parents locked me away with their servants and staff before my first birthday because they were terrified of me. I barely knew my mother, but she wrote to me frequently, she would send gifts, and keep the only thread of love from my parents alive. I read books for hours to entertain myself because I was never around children. My best friend was my nurse, and even then at the end of the day, I never felt truly cared for. So, when I was pulled from my bed, in the middle of the night, bound and thrown into a steel encased room in nothing but a nightgown at the age of 19, I knew I had to survive. It was the only way I would ever see any inch of the galaxy. I spent three weeks with stormtroopers who wanted to get their hands on me, a creepy old man who was ready to train me to do his bidding, only to find out my father traded me. He let them in. In exchange for materials to continue fighting the war that was killing our country. When I heard that, I knew my father would never lay a single hand on me ever again. I fought my way out of that death trap, stole myself a TIE fighter and navigated to the nearest planet. I cut my hair, and found the easiest way to get credits without being tied down, risking the possibility that my power hungry father would find me again. So I'm sorry that I lied about my identity when I heard someone was looking for me. That my father was searching for me to go back to his ways, exploiting the one thing I try to hide from the galaxy." Her chest is falling and rising rapidly after the monologue ends. Mari takes a breath, looking at the emotionless face of metal in front of her, tears falling, hastily moving to wipe them away. Maker, she wanted to be able to see his face right now. To see if there was surprise, empathy, hell, the slightest bit of guilt for her. Her face seemingly burned as she tries to stop the tears before they broke her even further.

As a child she'd spent so many moments calming the flow of tears that fell any time she felt dread, loneliness - the sheer emptiness that had filled her all those years. "When you walked in the cantina, I knew I couldn't fight you. I would not be able to escape, outrun or hide from you. Your reputation shows that. So, I had to hide in plain sight. If there is one thing that comes from this, I ask that we part ways, I hide away, I change my name and we never cross paths again."

Mari looks at the other, nearly wanting to scream. It was like talking to a brick wall, no response, no movement, no evidence there was even a person in her midst. A coo comes from the doorway, another hand moving to wipe at her eyes. Grogu expresses concern to her, and she shakes it off. "I'm fine.  Just, a lot of bad stuff in my head." She mutters, giving him a small smile before Din finally gives some form of reaction to what had insinuated.

"'You ." A hand moves as he speaks, only to fall again. A noise comes from the modulator, something she assumes is his attempt to find the right words. "You were hiding you. You were running. The whole time you've been on the run." He slowly sits back down in the chair he'd rested in earlier, a hand moving under his helmet, resting his chin there. "How long have you been... doing this."

"15 years. Not once had I heard from my father. Kriff's sake, I thought he was dead. I have no idea what he would want with me now." She offers, sitting in her own chair, the captains chair. "So, I apologize. I... I didn't know if I could trust you. Hoth, I still don't know." At this, Din looks to her, his gaze steady.

"I'm not finishing the job." Mari lets out a snort looking down to the Child for a moment.

"Well there's one relief. If it's not you, it's them." She runs her hands over her face, pressing her fingers to her eyes to put slight pressure on them.

"Come with us." A deep modulated voice, Mari pulls her hands from her face.

"You're kidding. I've heard the bounty they've got on you and green dude. Moff's really out for you both. He finds the both of us, and he's rich." Din can't help the smirk on his face, even though there was no evidence of it outside the helmet.

"Well then we don't let him find us." She gives a small smile. That smile is shook from her the minute a blaster shot comes from the front shield of the ship, ricocheting through the metal interior. She dives towards the kid, Din standing upright, blaster in hand as she shields the youngest. Her efforts are needed, as she feels a burning sensation in her bicep, doing her best to keep her cry quiet under all the gunfire. Once the blast diminishes, she's standing, grabbing her own blaster in her non-dominant hand, the two of them shooting rounds through the now busted shield of her freighter. So much for running out of here. Luckily, there'd not been many of them, and the silence falls on the port again, leaving Mari to sit back to the floor, a hand grabbing at her arm. The burn was far worse that she'd anticipated, but she knew that there'd be no way Grogu would've been able to take the hit. When her weight hits the floor, the Mandalorian's head moves to see her, kneeling down to take her elbow carefully in his hand to push the arm up so he can see the injury. "Let me see it." He reassures her, a slight hiss coming from her as he moves.

For the second time that day, the two are so close to one another, the distance being less than a blaster's length. "I'll be fine. We just need to get," another hiss as the lightest touch of Din's finger brushes over it, "stop that." She snarls, the male looking to her face.

"Is there any supplies on here?" He asks, slowly standing up, starting out to the hull of the ship.

"Yeah. They're in the captain's cabin." She gives the directions to the area, the other following them with heavy footsteps. Getting to the compartment she speaks of, he opens it, only to find a sheet of gauze, and the weakest painkiller most markets carry. He takes them regardless, moving back to the cockpit and joining her on the floor again. "I'm sorry it's not much." She offers, only for Din's hands to carefully move to the upper sleeve of the arm, ripping the rest of the fabric from the newly developed hole, so the whole sleeve moves off her arm, giving him better access to care for the wound.

"I have more supplies on my craft. We just need to get you there." He rationalizes, hands carefully moving to start the roll of gauze over the broken skin. His hands seem to move so painfully slow, Mari's mind slipping to where it'd been last night. The touch wasn't nearly the same, since his fingers were still gloved, but they held the same diligent and thought out actions, planned and executed so carefully, as if not to startle either of them, or make the wound worse. The two sit in the quiet, a hum coming from somewhere on the ship. Mari's keen to find the source only to hear the slightest crackle that indicates it's origin. It's coming from him. The hardened piece of steel that sits in front of her is humming. She finds such innocence in the noise, seemingly some form of a lullaby, one that might've been a tool to help get the Child to sleep each night. Or perhaps from his own childhood, somewhere deep in his memory. There's so much unknown about her caretaker at her side, yet he suddenly seems to know everything about her. She'd laid it out there for him to see. He'd received a glimpse last night before she stormed off to her room.

A satisfying snap comes from her right, Mando's ripped the gauze to shorten the bandage and tuck the tail in gently. "That'll work 'til we can get better care for it. The ship'll have to stay here for repairs." He notes, pushing a hand through the shatters of glass on the floor surrounding them.

"So what do we do now?" Mari's voice is light, as though this day hadn't brought tears and a gruesome injury. There's a much different attitude around her and Din seems unsure. Maybe because she's broken down a wall, she doesn't have to feel so guarded? Perhaps. Despite that, he stands, offering her a hand to help her to her feet.

"We find a Jedi."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back on the Razor Crest, the three of them settle into hyperspace, Mari putting the child down for a nap before shutting the door to the cot's containment, just as the shielded man comes from the cockpit. "Let's see what we can do about your arm." He offers, moving to a cabinet on the far side of the room. Mari sits down not too far from him, leaning against a crate and watching his movements. He's got careful hands digging through the supply cabinet - in search of something specific. Mari's not too worried, merely giving him a gaze as he pauses, something in his hand with a grunt. "I must've used the last kit I had." He retorts, closing the cabinet, a box in hand despite his words.

"Kit?" She asks, watching as he approaches softly, kneeling down and setting the box in her lap. Mari lifts it softly, only to read the Aurebesh inscribed in the casing. Once she recognizes it, she's nearly throwing the box at his head, almost squirming away from him. "Hoth no. I'll take death before I take that. You can trust me there. I might've lied up until now but I swear to keep the truth if you don't use that."

Din gives a groan, picking the box containing the e-bacta syringe up from it's position on the floor where she pushed it away from her. "Fine. Don't come crying to me when you're still in pain hours from now." He gets up and moves back to the cabinet, Mari's face following him.

"I'll be fine. It doesn't even hurt right now." She offers, getting up, using her good arm to get up as to not disturb the other one. She's back to her feet when a distorted chuckle leaves him. "What are you laughing at over there?" She asks, looking to him as he turns, something of a makeshift sling in his hands.

"There's a numbing agent on it right now. It was what you had left in your medic cabinet." He offers, gently taking her elbow once again, carefully slipping her arm into the fabric, the woman watching his movements as she listens to him. "So, I'm gonna give you about 20 minutes before you're begging for it."

Mari's face can't help but flush at his words, looking up to him with a surprised face. She decides to give a retort, might as well take the risk and get the awkwardness out of the way now, right? "I'm afraid if you want me to beg, you're gonna have to work harder than that." With that, she gives a nod, a silent thank you, before moving to the cot door. "I'm gonna have a lie down, I'll come up when I'm awake." As she opens the door, she takes a glance to him, having not moved from where he stood, simply watching her. Mari slinks into the cot's room - the only bedroom Din had to him.

As soon as the metal door has shut Din is shuffling from his spot to the refresher, shutting the door and quickly pulling the helmet from his head. The metal falls to the floor with a clank his hands leaning into the sink in front of him as he takes a few breaths. He's trying his best to get the words to stop repeating over and over, but he can't.  He's pulling his gloves from his hands, moving to splash cold water on his skin, cooling down before standing upright. It's here that he forgets the walls are sheets of mental - meaning they're pretty thin. So the warping sound of metal shakes him, looking to the wall it's coming from. The wall that divides the refresher to the cot container. He suddenly hears the other's voice.

"Mando? You good? I heard a noise." Her voice in filled with slight concern for the other, which leaves Din feeling rather... calm. The idea of someone else showing concern to him, versus him looking at what others were doing - concerning himself with their wellbeing. It was brief, but it was nice to be thought of. He clears his throat, turning slightly to where the wall was.

"I'm fine. Helmet fell off the sink." He gives a quiet huff as Mari's response comes to him.

"Okay, talk to you in the morning?" She offers, the other giving a snicker.

"Goodnight, Mari."

He's been in the cockpit for a few hours now, not any more than two or three before the door to the pit swishes open, making him turn in his seat to look at the woman. She stands in the doorway, eyes red, hair disheveled, her one arm nursing her other. She was shaking a little bit. Din's breath leaves him gently, almost in sound of adoration. "Did someone's meds wear off?" He retorts, hidden smirk on his lips. Mari can nearly hear it in his voice, holding up a hand.

"I'm in a lot of pain. Can you just help me." This surprises him. Sure, he's not known her very long, but its the first time she's seemed so... out of it. Succinct and to the point of the matter. The Mandalorian gives a nod, standing up and making his way to the ladder. He navigates easily, watching Mari struggle to not move her arm, whimpers coming every so often as she slowly climbs back down the ladder. She nearly slips, making Din move to catch her waist in his hands. He tightens his grip to make sure she won't fall before speaking.

"Let go. I've got you." Its so soft, Mari is surprised he's even said it. She does so, letting go with the one arm that was keeping her upright. He then carries her from the well of the ladder, carefully setting her on her own two feet before retrieving the medical gurney from the wall. It releases slowly, and he turns to her. He waits for her to decide if she can get up herself, but brown eyes look to him, a quiet confirmation that she can't do it herself. Din returns a silent nod, hands moving back to her waist, lifting her up onto the cushioned surface. One hand stays put, the other moving to reach to the cabinet retrieving the medication that she'd declined earlier. As it's in his hand, he looks to her. "I'm not going to administer all of it, but it will probably be enough to knock you out for a while." He offers as fingers open the box. Mari speaks up, voice soft.

"Do you mind if I change then? This.. isn't that comfortable." Her words remind him that she's in the same shirt from earlier, blood dried and missing a sleeve. Mari suddenly curses before shaking her head. "Nevermind, I-I didn't grab clothes from my ship." She speaks, only for Din to take a turn.

"I have extra shirts. They won't fit you... but it's probably better than what you're in." He lets the item in his hands gently fall, and she gives a slow nod.

"If you don't mind. That would be.. nice." He gives a nod, turning to cross the ship to where he kept the small pieces that formed his wardrobe. He's quick to find a dark undershirt, shutting the drawer and turning to find Mari struggling to get the shirt off without moving her arm - inciting more pain.

"Hey, easy there." His feet move rather quickly to her, setting the fabric down beside her. "Let me help." Mari looks at him, her heart picking up a little. She knows she shouldn't but... the hotel room - they were in the dark. She couldn't see him and she's certain that he probably hadn't seen much of her in the pitch black room. His hand is gripping the fabric at her waist, only for Mari's to cover his. He looks to her, waiting for her to explain herself, and she does.

"Don't... judge." This girl was really confusing him now. Why now? Is it because they're in the middle of a fluorescent spotlight above them, a feature of the medical bay, something more than necessary in most instances. Din only gives a nod, starting to lift the fabric again, Mari moving ever so slightly to help him, the male being very careful to not disturb the gauze on her right bicep. Once the material's gone, he can't help but take a small look. He's not sure why she had picked the words she had, as there wasn't anything.. out of place. If anything, he'd be rather complemental if she'd asked. Though, he then sees the potential flaw she might've been concerned with. Slight bruises litter along her upper torso, along her collarbones and around the peeking skin of her hips in their waistband. His brain connects the dots, and he's moving his hand to her chin. He tilts it slightly, enough to see the mark that was still rather inflamed from their run-in the day prior.

"I did this?" He asks, hand retreating as quickly as it had come, Mari hoping that he'd not heard the slight hitch in her breath that had occured when his hand moved to hold her chin still.

"I-... yeah. I said don't judge," She reminds him, only for Din to speak up.

"Why would I judge? It's not like you did that." He defends, only before picking up the shirt once again. He's sliding the gap in the shirt over her head, finally seeing the exhaustion in her features. She'd clearly not slept, and her expressions were barely there. Like her body was doing the bare minimum to show any exertion.

"I, guess I didn't want you to feel bad? I've had worse." She points out. Din gives a nod, continuing with pulling the fabric over each limb carefully, not wanting to harm her anymore than she was already hurting. When it's finally on, the two seem to let out a breath.

"I was doing my job. I won't feel guilty about that." His answer finally comes after what seems to be the longest gap in time. His hands are back on the e-bacta shot, prepping it as Mari seemingly shifts.  He looks to her briefly, slowly lifting a corner of the overly large t-shirt from her abdomen. "Hold this." He offers, her obediently doing so. He preps the spot before moving to administer it, the woman leaning away from him as the needle approaches. He stands upright, medical device retreating. "Mari. You asked me to." He hates to bring it up, seeing as she was seemingly miserable to even consider it, after her reaction from earlier.

"I know, I know." She takes a breath, keeping her head forward and closing her eyes. She tells herself not to move, but the pinch of the needle never comes. Instead, a large hand wrapped in leather finds its way in between her fingers, holding onto her rather tightly.

"Squeeze my hand." He encourages her, starting to count down so she can prepare - and she does. The tiny knuckles of her fingers start to turn white as he completes the procedure. When he's done, Mari opens her eyes softly, looking to him as he cleans back up, moving across the room to the cot's room to grab the blanket from there. He flings it over his shoulder, coming back to her and helping her lay down. "Is it working yet?" He asks, trying to gauge how close to sleep she was.

"Mmmm, I think... I think so..." She feels so relaxed, so calm, and for once in a few weeks so safe. She can feel the gentle softness of the blanket fall over her. A muttered  'goodnight, Mari' coming from the Mandalorian as she slowly begins to inhale the most wonderful smell. The smell is something of clean mint and beautiful lavender, with a robustness of.. pine? She's not sure, but whatever it is, it's very pleasant. And it helps lul her into the pain-free and most comfortable sleep she's had in a while.

[whiskynottea]

An Interruption in the 1st Law of Thermodynamics.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25, Chapter 26, Chapter 27,  Chapter 28, Chapter 29, Chapter 30, Chapter 31, Chapter 32, Chapter 33, Chapter 34, Chapter 35,  Chapter 36, Chapter 37, Chapter 38, Chapter 39, Chapter 40, Chapter 41, Chapter 42, Chapter 43, Chapter 44,  Chapter 45, Chapter 46, Chapter 47, Chapter 48, Chapter 49, Chapter 50, Chapter 51 Chapter 52, Chapter 53, Chapter 54, Chapter 55, Chapter 56, Chapter 57

AO3

Thank you @theministerskat​ for your beta! ❤️

                                  – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Chapter 58. Rain

How long can one night be?

It felt like I was lying in my bed for ages. I wanted to get up, run, do something, but the darkness was heavy outside my window, and my heart felt heavier. 

My heart, the one that kept beating, no matter how many times my breath hitched in my throat.

My heart, carrying its own heavy load, waiting. 

Holding off was slowly killing me, but I had resolved not to call him again.

Hours had passed while my phone remained silent. A sinking sensation wrapped around me, dragging me down, deeper and deeper. 

What had happened, exactly?

I had spent the first few hours rationalizing.

What if something happened to him? No. John would call me. Jamie is fine.

Maybe he forgot his phone at the pool and they are all out celebrating now. But he would send something from John’s phone, right? 

Not if he’s still mad at me for not calling him before the race. 

Maybe he needs time, and he will call when he’s ready. He’s stressed, and he’s exaggerating. It will be okay. 

If only he called sooner.

I had messed up, yes, but it wasn’t like I had been out for drinks, having fun, and ignoring him. And it wasn’t like we hadn’t talked all day. I would explain myself. I would tell him the truth and ask him to forgive me. Simple as that. 

Not that I hadn’t done that in my texts already. But texts were not the same. 

I closed my eyes and imagined his disappointment when the time had come and I didn’t call, when I didn’t reply to his messages. I could see in my mind’s eye how upset he must have been, his deep breaths as he tried to focus on the impending race. I hoped he’d thought of all the times I wished him good luck in the past, of how much I loved him and believed in him. Or at least to forget everything about me and give his best to the race.

It didn’t matter, really. Nothing was as important as winning the race.

I knew he would do well. He was the best swimmer I had ever seen.

It will be alright. He’ll call back and it will be alright.

I tried to stick with this line of thought and get some sleep. Make this endless night go by faster. 

But sleep wouldn’t come. 

Where was he? The chances he’d lost his phone were…scarce. He’d seen my texts and was still so angry that he couldn’t even reply?

A single message was all I needed. ‘I’m fine, won the race, we’ll talk tomorrow.’ How hard was that?

It was the first time Jamie had done this. The first time he blatantly ignored me. The first time he didn’t want to talk to me. 

Or rather, the second. The first one had been when he got the scholarship, but that had been different. 

This wasn’t at all like him. 

Maybe he’s preparing a surprise for me?

The week following the New Jersey race would be a slack one. Maybe he’d come to visit me, to celebrate with me.

I let hope nestle in my chest, its arrival gifting me with a few full breaths. Maybe he was flying to England right now. A smile curled the corners of my mouth, up and up, until I was biting my bottom lip in a smile full of expectation. 

A moment later, reality crashed on me. Exactly when I was the most vulnerable. It always does that, waiting in the corner until we give way to the dreams, and then rushes to overtake us. With a single move, reality names the dream an illusion and takes it away, with a low, malicious snicker. 

My smile vanished in a matter of seconds. Jamie wasn’t coming, and I was a fool to even think he would. He was in New Jersey, celebrating with his friends. 

The waiting was killing me. I held in my tears, refusing to cry when I didn’t even know why. When I didn’t know what was happening. 

He had left me hanging. He had left me in the dark, alone, with no power over anything. 

I felt small. Insignificant. Alone. 

When the first tears stained my pillow, sleep took pity on me. 

I didn’t dream.

–

Mary’s voice woke me and I felt her hand gently nudging my side. 

“Claire? Are you coming to the lecture? We need to go in fifteen minutes.”

The lecture? Did the world have the audacity to go on when my life was crumbling?

For the first time in my life, I didn’t care about the lecture. I didn’t care about anything at all, after checking my phone to find that nothing had changed since the previous night.

That was a living hell, I was sure of it. 

I pushed all thoughts and emotions deep down and got out of bed. It would do me no good to stay in the dorm all day, and I had practicals that I couldn’t miss anyway.

I brushed my teeth mechanically for a good five minutes and washed my face with freezing water until the bones in my hands ached from the cold.

Numb – I needed to be numb. Retreat to that place deep inside me where I was safe. A peal of cruel laughter left my lips. 

This place, and all the bloody safe places inside me had been opened for him. 

There was no safehouse, no hidden crypt. I had given everything and I had nowhere to go now. 

I started crying again and immediately rinsed the tears away. 

Get yourself together. Don’t think.

I left the bathroom and got dressed. Mary looked at me with a frown, but didn’t ask any questions. I loved her for it. No prying. She would patiently wait until I was ready to talk. Which meant never, in this case. 

We walked to campus and headed towards the auditorium. I vaguely registered that it was an interesting lecture, one of those that would fill my head with questions and ideas on any other day. Not today. 

Today, I took notes like an automaton. I breathed like an automaton. When the lecture finished, I talked to others like an automaton.

It was like living in virtual reality. I was at Oxford, going on with my day, responding to the stimuli around me as if they were real, but I had this feeling that everything was only a projection on a wall, and real-life would look like the earth had been destroyed by meteors. Or a collision with another planet.

Or maybe that was just my world.

I went on with my day as if nothing had changed, as if I could breathe as easily as the next student in the practical. 

I nodded mechanically and I even smiled once or twice when everyone was laughing, because I felt like I had to.

I checked my phone every minute. It felt like a punch in the gut. When I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, I turned it off, only to panic and turn it on five minutes later. 

Not that I had missed anything.

I thought of texting Jamie again, but what else was there left to say? How many times can one apologize before those three words sound cheap?

I wrote ‘I love you’ at least ten times, only to erase the message a moment later. Didn’t he know that I loved him? What difference would a text make?

After our practical, I followed Mary to the library. I sat down with a heavy textbook and ended up reading the same line twenty times. 

It was then that my phone vibrated against the wooden desk. 

My heart jumped to my throat, and my knees trembled as I tried to stand up. 

It was him, and he was smiling in the picture on my screen and I just wanted to fall back on my chair and start crying.

I didn’t. I swallowed hard, instead, and ran outside. Fat raindrops hit my face, but I hardly noticed them. I wore my earphones, and slid a finger across the screen.

“Hi,” I said, walking away from the entrance and leaning against the exterior wall, trying to shelter myself from the rain as well as I could. The light post was only four feet away, but my face was covered in shadows. 

“Hi, Claire.” Jamie tried for a smile, but ended up taking a deep breath instead.

My heart was beating so fast I thought it would break through my chest. A ridiculous thought from an aspiring doctor, and yet there it was.

“How did it go?” I asked. “The race,” I clarified, as if it wasn’t obvious.

“Second. I finished second.” 

Second. Shit. Is this the reason he didn’t call?

His face was a mask, his voice colourless. I didn’t know what to say. I’m sorry? It sounded stupid. Don’t worry? 

I nodded twice, before I mumbled, “Congratulations.” He didn’t seem to hear it. I cleared my throat and tried again, louder this time. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” he said, dismissively. 

And then, silence. A long, heavy silence that stretched and stretched until I couldn’t take it anymore. It was stealing my breath.

“Did you celebrate last night?” 

Jamie looked sideways, then back at me. “Aye, we went for drinks wi’ the team.”

“Nice.” I tried to smile. “Did you have fun?”

He closed his eyes and set his jaw. I saw his throat bobbing as he swallowed and waited for his answer, but his mouth opened only to close again.

“Are you alone?” I blurted. It was obvious that we couldn’t keep this conversation going for long, and I didn’t want to start talking about what really mattered if other people were in his room.

“Aye. John is out.”

I tried to smile, and let out a sigh before starting explaining myself. “Jamie, I am so, so, so sorry I didn’t manage to call you yesterday. I know you needed me to call and you’re angry at me, and you’re right… But I was in the middle of a tutorial and time went by, and –” I stopped abruptly and squeezed my eyes tight. “I am sorry.”

Jamie nodded but didn’t say a word. I couldn’t recognize the look in his eyes. 

“Talk to me, please. Talk to me, Jamie, we will figure it out,” I pleaded in a quivering voice. 

“Claire –”

“Yes?” I bit my lip hard, trying to keep the tears inside.

“I didna call ye yesterday and all day today, because I needed time to think.” 

The wall behind me was rough underneath my fingertips as I pushed harder against it, wishing for the pain to ground me. To prepare me, somehow, for what was coming. I knew it. I knew him. I could see right through him. The way he talked, how he looked at me… I recognized that look now – the pain and regret, the determination. Tears blurred my vision before he could go on.

“This isna working, Claire,” Jamie said, and I felt a thousand daggers sinking into my heart. I felt them hovering around me all day, biding their time. A whimper left my mouth before I could stop it, and I pushed my lips together in reflex. I looked at Jamie, at the bloody screen, and tried to keep my raging emotions under control.

“What –” I started in a broken voice, and I summoned all my courage to go on. I wouldn’t stop this conversation before it had even started because I was crying. I pushed my fingernails into the wall, willing it to support me. “What do you mean?” When Jamie only shook his head, I continued. “Since when is it not working?” I huffed a laugh, challenging him. “I forgot to text you once, and that’s it? I’m not good enough for you?”

That rilled him up. “Did I ever say ye’re not good enough for me, Claire?” he demanded. “Dinna put words in my mouth!” He then murmured something under his breath, lowering his eyes.

“So what is this? You don’t call, don’t text, don’t even tell me that you need time to think and I’m here waiting for you to deign to inform me that things aren’t working out because the idea stuck in your head?”

“It’s not in my head! It’s in my life! This – what we have... It’s not what it once was, and –”

“And you want to end it?” I couldn’t believe I was uttering those words. This had to be a nightmare.

“Aye.” It could have been a whisper of the wind. It could have been a raindrop falling into the river. It could have been the rustling of leaves. But it was his voice, and the sound choked me. A small word I had heard him say thousands of times. The same word, ending it all.

I bit my lip until I tasted blood. I scraped my palm against the wall, and saw the hand holding my phone shaking. 

“Why?”

Why are you giving up on us? Why aren’t you patient? Why are you tearing my heart out?

I couldn’t ask that. I wouldn’t. So I just whispered again, “Why?”

“I love ye, Claire,” he said, and I noticed for the first time that he was crying, too. 

Hearing his words broke all the walls I’d tried to build to keep my despair aside. “This makes no fucking sense,” I sobbed.

“I ken, I ken,” he repeated. “I love ye, mo nighean donn, mo ghraidh, my Sassenach. I love ye so much and I wish you were here or I was there, but you’re not and I’m not and I canna go on like this.” He said it all with breath, and then this face paled, as if a chunk of life was torn out of his chest. 

“No, no, no.” I shook my head violently, wet curls flying and sticking on my face. “We will make it work, we said we would, remember?” 

He needed to remember. He just needed to know that we would be together no matter what, and then he would change his mind.

“I canna. I miss you, and this is not what I thought it would be. Seeing you once every three months? What kind of relationship is that?”

“Our relationship!” I all but screamed. “It’s our relationship and we’ll work on it. This is just the beginning and I am overwhelmed a bit by the workload here, but I will get the hang of it. I know I should have called before the race –”

“Claire!” he interrupted me. “This is not about the race. I mean, it is, but it’s not only that. Ye’re not here when I need to cuddle in bed with you after a hard day. Ye’re not here when I want to go out and dance and feel your body against mine. Ye’re not here when good things happen, when bad things happen, when nothing happens… Ye’re not here.”

“Of course I’m not there! I’m right here, doing my best to be a part of your life! And you knew that, Jamie Fraser! You knew I wouldn’t be there!”

“Your best…” he trailed off before finishing the thought. I was ready for another attack, when he said, “I hadna thought it would be so difficult.”

I repeated his words, mocking him. 

“Yes Claire! I thought ye’d be with me until your term started, but no! God forbid! Ye had to volunteer and go to Zambia! And then –”

“You said you were okay with me going to Zambia!” I interrupted him, indignant. I felt my cheeks flaming in anger now.

“I said I didna like it! But ye didna step back! Ye said that ye really wanted to go and really, what choice did I have in the matter?”

I snorted, refusing to talk to him. I couldn’t believe that he was holding my trip to Zambia against me. What else was there that he had never talked about?

“Well, I’m not in Zambia right now.”

“Aye, and what good does it do to us? Ye have internet access and we still hardly talk. D’ye think that thirty minutes per day is enough to keep a relationship going? Because it isn’t!”

I took a long breath through my mouth, blinking at him. I couldn’t believe my ears. “We limit the time of the video calls because of your training,” I spat.

“And your practicals, your tutorials…” He shook his head and his red curls fell into his eyes. It had become one of my habits to run my fingers over his forehead and push them aside, but I knew that even if he was in front of me right now that would be the last thing I would do. Smack him on the forehead, maybe. “Ye didn’t come for my race, as we had agreed. Do ye ken how long it is since we had sex?” Jamie asked, bringing me back to our conversation.

I felt my eyebrows curving in an impossible arch. “What? So this – this is about sex?”

“No. Not only sex, but sex is important, too.”

“Our schedule is fucked up!” I declared.

“I ken!” he shot back. “This doesna change the facts though, does it?”

It didn’t. “We can do better,” I said, more calmly now. My breaths were short and fast, and I stopped for a moment, trying to collect myself. “I miss you, too.” Jamie didn’t reply. “I thought I was there for you, I thought what we had was enough.”

I slid down the wall, sitting on the wet pavement. I was soaked by this point and I didn’t care. 

“I thought it would be enough. I wanted it to be.” Jamie’s voice was soft, as if he murmured something in my ear as we lay together in bed. “But I want to live, Claire, not to be constantly suspended between two continents. I want to live here, now. And I wanted to share now with you, even though I couldn’t share here. But I can’t even have that.”

Because I hadn’t sent a bloody good-luck-text. “I don’t know what else I can do. I can’t promise that I won’t mess up again, but I can promise that I will try not to. And I’ll be there in a few weeks. We will spend a whole month together.”

“Sassenach,” Jamie rasped, pained. “Stop. Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what? Love you?” I asked, with an incredulous laugh. “I don’t remember how life was before I loved you.”

Jamie rubbed a hand on his face. His eyes were red and puffed when he looked at me. “It pains me, Claire. It pains me to wake up and know you’re not in my arms, it pains me to count the days until I see ye again. I canna do it anymore.”

I had no breath to speak. Tears kept rolling down my face, and Jamie’s ragged breaths sounded closer through my earphones than the rain pattering on the pavement I sat on. I felt him closer than all the world around me and I wanted to reach out and grasp that feeling, afraid I would never have it again. 

“So that’s it?” I croaked, and licked my lips, tasting the salt.

It couldn’t be it. We couldn’t end like this. 

“I am sorry. I love you. I will always love you. But maybe this is for the best. For both of us, ye ken.” A sigh, and he continued. “I will focus on my life here, and you on yer studies…”

The words sounded unreal in my mind. I couldn’t reply. I couldn’t agree or oppose the notion, not that it mattered. 

Love isn’t a cage. It’s not working that way. Love is like the wind, aiding us in staying airborne, lifting us higher.

“Goodbye, Jamie.”

My finger trembled as I ended the call. I felt the sky drop closer, crushing me. A flash of lightning tore up the darkness in the distance and I closed my eyes, wishing Jamie would be there to hold me in his arms. 

But there would be no more Jamie. No one would hold me to keep me safe. No one would brush away the hair from my face. No one would kiss away the tears. 

I held my breath in an attempt to verify that my heart was still beating.

It did. My treacherous heart went on with hollow, empty beats against my ribs. 

My head hit the wall, and I stayed there, sobbing under the rain until Mary found me. 

Chapter 59

[katebacks]

VLive Blowjob - Park Jimin (M)

— pairing | Park Jimin /Reader — word c | 1,837 — genre | Smut — summary | You and Jimin make a bet: If he loses, he has to buy a purse of the new Gucci collection for you, but if you lose, you have to make him a blowjob… while he makes a Live. None of this makes sense, but he was drunk when he proposed and you were drunk when you accepted. That explains everything. — warnings/tags | Some bad words, oral (male receiving). I felt bad for not having posted chapter 8 of Ride or Die, and I had this drabble saved, so I decided to post it today.

You remembered well the drunken words that came out of his mouth that night.

“If I win, I bet you to do me a blowjob in a VLIVE”

You should never had accept that.

“Do we really need to do this? This will be so embarrassing. How am I going to do a Live with you touching me down there? Everyone will know that something is wrong.” Jimin whined as you entered his room and closed the door. You also were not very comfortable with that, but bet was bet and you could not go back on your decision.

"It was you who challenged me, Jimin"

"I was drunk. No one should rely on things that drunk talk while they are drunk." He jumped in the chair in front of his computer table and threw back his head, angry and annoyed at the same time.

"People say that when we're drunk, we always tell the truth, It means you want to do this for a long time, baby." You teased him, sitting on the bed that was right next to where he was sitting, getting an indignant look from him.

"Of course, it's your dream to make me a blowjob while I'm doing a Live, that’s why you accepted the bet. Save your breath, (Y/N), don’t tell me you're not happy about it, because I know you are."

You laughed. It was no lie. You and the BTS boys are friends for a long time, you work for the company that is responsible for the publicity of the group. All the boys were extremely handsome, that you would never deny, but Jimin was one of the most called your attention because he was so “shy” in front of the cameras, but he was so perverse behind them. If people think that Jimin is always cute as he is in front of the cameras, they are really mistaken. And if people think Jimin is innocent, they are very wrong.

“Well, if you don’t want to do that, I can tell the guys that you don’t want the blowjob and they'll call you a fag for the rest of your life. Your choice, buddy.” You said picking up the phone, ready to send a message in the group you shared with the boys, but Jimin sighed and grabbed your hand.

"Okay, but just because I don’t want them to stay on my foot for the rest of my life." You smiled and put your cell phone in your pocket. "How will we do this?"

You looked around the room. It was not a good idea to do a blowjob while he was standing with the phone in his hands because he could let the phone fall, and everyone would see what was happening. He could lie on the bed with his cell phone on his chest, etching his face, but you knew how Jimin was clumsy, if he touched the wrong place on the screen, he could switch from the front to the back camera and everyone would see you sucking his cock. And then you looked at the computer table. It was where he usually did most lives. It was a good place. You'd be hiding all the time, there was no danger of his cell phone dropping because it would be on the table, away from the edge. All you needed to know was if you would fit down there with Jimin's legs. You climbed out of bed and crawled toward the small table, followed by Jimin's eyes that narrowed as he watched the way your body moved. He didn’t think that was a bad idea, he was really interested in the idea of you sucking him, but he just wanted to be able to enjoy it better.

You have always been one of the subjects between him and the his friends. They always talked about how beautiful and cool you were, and everyone, without exception, had a crush on you. So he thought it would be good to finally have something from you. He makes a bet because he knew you'd never refuse a challenge. But he drank too much in the day and overcame it by eventually challenging you to do a blow job on him while he was live on Vlive.

You sat under the table, and it was not as uncomfortable as you thought it would be.

"Come here, Jiminie." You said pulling the chair he was sitting on. Jimin dragged the chair back to the table, opening his legs and letting you fit between them. You had to kneel down and rested your arms on his thighs. Jimin felt a chill in his spine as he saw you between his legs, so close to his cock. He let his head fall to the side and let out a laugh, bringing his hand up to your hair and caressing, making you frown at him. “What?”

“Nothing”

“Should we start?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Okay, stand up and take your pants and underwear”

"What? Now?" He asked widening his eyes.

"Yeah, it'll be easier than you just take off your pants while the live is happening and someone asks you why you're moving so much."

"Fine" he said, dragging his chair back and standing up. He unbuttoned his pants and unzipped her. He threw it down and kicked it away to the side of the room that didn’t appear on the camera. He looked at you, sitting under the table with your eyes intent on him who had his hands on his underwear. He watched you for a few seconds, seeing the desire in your eyes, that was what he wanted, he would not deny. And that made his cock almost begged to come out from inside the underwear and go into your mouth.

He didn’t hesitate another minute and took off his underwear, tossing it along with his pants. You choked to finally be able to see his cock, something that your inner longed for a long time, since you met, to be honest. He walked toward the chair, sitting up and nestling his legs under the table, while you licked your lips and bit them.

"Fuck." You muttered without restraint and Jimin smiled, leaning his head to the side and looking at you under the table. He watched as you stared at his cock and it pleased him. He picked up his cell phone and placed it on the table, propped up in a small box. He finally started to live and you could finally do what was there to do.

He started talking to the fans and telling them about his days as you took his dick in your hand and massaged it slowly, making Jimin pretend to be coughing to hide his sigh. He was so hard, but at the same time so soft and that was making your mouth salivate. Jimin leaned back in his chair, lying down and pushing his hips forward as he stood with his legs spread wide and you brought his face close to his cock. You licked the entire length of his cock, and Jimin had to pretend to cough again to hide a groan that escaped his throat.

And when you put the head of his cock in your mouth, Jimin almost jumped from his chair and tapped his hand on the table, pressing his lips together and raising his eyebrows, pretending to be interested in some commentary the fans wrote.

It was harder than it seemed, for him, not for you. You were enjoying the moment, sucking the head of his cock like it was the best lollipop you'd ever tasted. You decided to put it all in your mouth, swallowing it and being careful to not make any noise when you took it out of your mouth.

“God” He said unable to stop himself, giving an apology soon after, making you laugh in silence. He reached under the table and grabbed your hair urgently, wanting faster, needing you to be faster. Your mouth was so hot, it was so soft and your tongue caressed his cock so well that Jimin was struggling not to roll his eyes, turn off Live, get up from there and fuck your mouth. You increased the pressure of your hand and lips on his cock, and let him control the speed with which you sucked him, making him stifle groans and sighs that insisted on coming out of his mouth.

It was not long to Jimin start feeling that wanted to come. You were sucking him so well. He wanted to cum, but he wanted to enjoy that moment better. He wanted to not only cum in your mouth, but also wanted to cum inside you, fuck you in every possible position. He wanted to make you moan, wanted to make you roll your eyes and ask for more. He wanted to eat you out, make your cunt get wet, make you cum with his tongue on your clit. And those thoughts were only making him even harder and with an uncontrollable urge to move his hips against your mouth.

He tightened his fingers between your hair, helping in your back and forth movements, and continued reading the comments of the fans, pulling the air harder and harder, trying to stay in control, but he felt he was about to cum and he knew he couldn’t be silent. So he said goodbye and ended the live that lasted no more than 15 minutes, saying he needed to do something urgent and hung up the phone, dragging the chair back and pulling you with him, by the hair.

“Oh my god, (Y/N), yes, make me come.” He moaned, relieved to now be able to make noise.

"Fuck my mouth, Jimin" You groaned in response and he grunted. He stood up, still holding your hair and began to thrust his dick deep in your mouth, making you choke a few times and your eyes watering, but you knew he was enjoying it and so did you.

"Oh fuck, (Y/N)." He moaned, feeling that he was about to cum. You tucked his cock into deep in your throat and let him come, moaning loudly, throwing his head back, his breath racing, his chest rising and falling fast. You swallowed everything he gave you. Jimin took a few steps back, pulling away, but his legs faltered and he fell on his ass, lying down with open arms and laughing like crazy.

"Please tell me we'll do it again." He said after a few seconds of deep breathing, raising his head slightly and looking at you that smiled at him.

“Anytime, baby”

Then someone knocked on the door. You and Jimin looked confused at her before they heard an angry cry from Namjoon on the other side.

"I can’t believe you two did that. You two idiots, you're in my room."

You and Jimin looked at each other and burst out laughing. You were so worried about fulfilling the bet that you had not even realized you were in the wrong room.

all rights reserved © katebacks | 2018 — no reposting and/or modifying of any form on any medium is allowed. no translations allowed.

[mypinkchapter]

Recovery & Laughs.

One of the biggest ventures in this journey can now be checked off -- surgery!

Disclaimer: my thoughts for this week on the blog won't have any really great insights, but you might have some laughs with me along the way... embarrassing for me to say because I want Jesus to shine above all & this to fully glorify Him, but I also want to be human with those reading these words & for one day when I look back & share this with Elly, so let me fill in some truths from my last week & let you see how cool Jesus was throughout.

Truth #1: I thought in this time of rest & recovery I would fill my moments in the recliner with lots of reading -- reading my Bible, reading my new Lysa TerKeurst book, reading the novel I checked out from my the library that's been at the top of my "to-read" list... but you know what? I haven't read a single page. It makes me laugh honestly because what I pictured as recovery for myself, basically consisting of lots of leisurely & encouraging reading, has actually been filled with me on medication that has made me so groggy that I've napped, napped, & napped some more. Like drool-worthy, crazy dream naps! Just one more reason the Lord has placed some of the best folks in my path, to share scripture & encouragement with me when I haven't had the ability of sorts to do that for myself. Thank you, sweet Lord, for letting those stand in the gap for me these last several days -- to feed me with truths & encouragement of Your love, mercies, & hope.

Truth #2: I've never had surgery before. Wisdom teeth removal doesn't count to medical professionals, just FYI. So, this girl was an amateur! I remember looking at the sweet anesthesiologist & said, "Are you giving me the good stuff?" & that was all she wrote. Out! I was terrified I would wake up & act like those viral videos you see of folks talking out of their minds, but nope... I woke up feeling refreshed & like I'd had a great nap! Obviously there was soreness, but the surgery itself, should anyone ever have to endure the same kind, it's for sure do-able. Thank you, sweet Lord, for every set of hands that played a part in this. You gifted me with probably two of the kindest surgeons/people I've ever met & their nurses have been nothing short of incredible.

Truth #3: I'll leave this one to be only a short story, which I know won't be short because I don't know how to be short, but it's been comical looking back on... so, when surgery wrapped up & the initial recovery for me upstairs was over, rather than heading to a lovely hospital room to be greeted by my precious husband, parents, & Gran, who would tend to my every tiny need & get me whatever snack, drink, or dinner my heart desired from the greater Jonesboro area, I was wheeled to the basement of the hospital. Y'all, the basement. It makes me crack up all over to remember them telling me they were taking me to the basement; here's why -- the hospital was full. The basement was not a bad area by any means, but it was me & well, like 15 other hospital beds with patients all coming out of surgery. Lined up, side by side, no curtains. Just all of us recovering together, some recovering better than others. So, how you wait on a table at a full restaurant, in your order of arrival, I waited for a hospital room. Now let me say, I was wheeled by the waiting room to see my sweet group of cheerleaders really quickly & them to tell me my preliminary lymph node results were CLEAR (ahhhh! THANK YOU, JESUS!), but that was it -- a 7 second greeting & cheer! Then an over 5 hour wait. No cell phone, no TV, no family. Just me very coherently hanging out with nurses, unable to nap because it was Grand Central Station with folks coming in from surgery constantly, while lying on a very flat ER bed for five hours after undergoing a pretty massive surgery. It was not funny in the moment. Not funny, not funny, not funny! But now, it sort of is... One of our sweet pastors that stayed updated on me throughout the day from Ryan, called him late afternoon while I was still of course in the basement, & he said, "Ahhh, there's no room in the inn." Haha! Thank you, sweet Lord, for the precious ladies that watched over me that afternoon, that stayed hours & hours over their shifts to take care of me & those other patients. Thank you for teaching me patience & humility, even when I wasn't in the most receptive mood. And thank you, Jesus, that I was eventually joined back to my family & had a big, comfy, end room, five hours later.

Truth #4: What should be truth #1, but my husband. Oh my heavens, my husband. I fully believe Ryan Gibson was crafted for me by the Lord himself. He has loved me so good for nine years now, six in marriage, but let me just say: when a woman is diagnosed with breast cancer, so is her husband, her children, her parents, her family, & her friends. My husband in this past month though has been the model man that every woman could ever deserve. I do not deserve him & the love that he has demonstrated; it is purely the love of Jesus in him. Yes, he has cheered me on, encouraged me with truths, shared medical knowledge from his background with me, entertained Elly when I wasn't able to, sat with me while tears fell, & distracted me with lots of laughs, but y'all, until you have been in a similar situation of literally becoming helpless -- my upper body post-surgery has pretty well been useless up until the last day or so -- it has opened up a new realm of love I didn't know existed in marriage. Sure, I've been sick before. I'm pretty positive living through food poisoning with me about did him a few years ago, but cancer & surgery... bless him. I am probably one of the most modest women I've ever known, but that has had to fly out the window with this & that's been really hard for me. Ryan has met that with complete humor & keeping things so light-hearted. So many moments this past week that would bring tears otherwise, tears of pain, tears of embarrassment, tears of unknown, Ryan has met with only the charm he has that is perfectly perfect for me & keeps my tears at bay. Quite simply, thank you, sweet Lord, for your gift of marriage & my precious, selfless helpmate, Ryan.

Truth #5: I have the world's best parents. Elly had a stay-cation with Nana & Pop. She ruled the roost & kept those two busy, busy, busy! They stepped in to love on & 100% take care of our child for the past week. Elly’s world stayed as normal as functionally possible & that was such a relief. We had a FaceTime session every night but she was usually too occupied with Nana & Pop to care much for us. We had to beg for sugars & a “night night” every night! What a blessing that was to be such a seamless process. Thank you, sweet Lord, for demonstrating Your perfect love through my dear parents. Thank you for blessing me with two of the greatest individuals I have ever known, to learn from.

Truth #6: Dr. Dicocco, my surgeon, yesterday at my follow-up appointment asked me, "Do you know everyone in & around Jonesboro?" I laughed & said I didn't think so. She told in the past week she has had countless people tell her thank you for taking such good care of Erin Gibson. Y'all... I've said it so many times & I'll say again, Jesus has purposefully planted every person in & around my path, preparing me for this. I know it, without a shadow of doubt. People to most importantly pray & I would swear that I have some of the most solid prayer warriors that ever were, but people again to encourage us & love on us in very practical ways. We have been fed every single night & even many days at lunchtime. That has meant the world to us & truth be known, there have been days I was living for the yummy food I had coming that night! We have started to receive financial help from fundraisers to make such a huge dent in our medical expenses and that is something we can't thank anyone enough for. We have been so honored in seeing people physically showing their support by wearing pink or Team Erin. We just don't even know how to process it all & it will probably take a long time to do just that, but I will never forget the love shown to us. Thank you, sweet Lord, that you have been so purposeful in my life to create a support system like I could have never dreamed. Thank you, Lord, that so many of those in our lives love You & have demonstrated Your love toward us. I pray that I could love in the same way we have been shown.

I'll end on the the fact that I received the best "grade" & smiley face that I've gotten ever gotten on a report: we learned yesterday that I am officially Stage I! A huge answered prayer! Treatment will continue as planned - 4 tough rounds of chemo for 2 months & 12 lighter rounds of chemo for 3 months - but we are ready for every step to come. I know, because I have asked lots of questions of many knowledgeable folks, that there are some hard & ugly days ahead with chemo, but you know what? There are going to be some great & really fun days ahead too, and I'd bet more of those than the bad or ugly! May Jesus be glorified in every day that is to come for us.

All my love from my pink chapter,  Erin

[femslashy]

2018 fic year in review

thank you so much for tagging me @homosociallyyours !! this was really fun (and also a bit hard haha) to do ^__^

1. number of stories (including drabbles) posted to ao3: 19 (6 100 word seasonal drabbles, and out of the rest 4 are under 1k and 2 are chaptered but one of those is still a WIP)

2. word count posted for the year: 142,383 which is def more than i’ve written in previous years but my initial goal for this year was 200k and then i lowered it to 150k and then decided i should focus less on word count and more on actually finishing the fics lmaooo

3. list of works posted this year in order of posting:

the tesco fic (although i didn’t make the tumblr post until recently)

three spring drabbles (100 words each)

begin again [timestamp] (my only snowbaz fic in 2018)

we’re swimming with the sharks until we drown

SPHERICAL

got me an appetite, now i can taste it

Take a Chance on Me

Getting Naked on Camera (NOT CLICKBAIT)

my favourite colour is you

louis tomlinson’s completely 100% foolproof guide to snagging the fit bloke next door (3 100 word drabbles)

no better place than right by your side

days gone by (WIP)

love the cronch

zero to sixty

where the love light gleams

4. fandoms i wrote for: mostly one direction and by that i mean i posted a timestamp for a carry on fic from 2017 and the rest was one direction lol

5. pairings: harry/louis, simon/baz (ONCE)

6. story with the most hits: Take a Chance on Me with 10975 hits :o

7. story with the most kudos: Take a Chance on Me with 426 kudos

8. story with the most comments: Take a Chance on Me with 52 comments threads

9. work i’m most proud of and why: well Take a Chance on Me was both my first time doing a big bang as well as the longest thing i’ve ever written (twice the length of the previous longest!) and i’m still completely in love with the art for it courtesy of @vulpixlou and i def don’t go back to stare at it ever nope 👀👀

10. work i’m least proud of and why: i mean i could nitpick the hell out of my stuff and i know there are certain bits i would write differently now but at the same time i created something with my brain that didn’t exist before and that’s just too cool not to be proud of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing:

this is from Take a Chance on Me (shocker) and i was having trouble thinking of my fave but then i was skimming through all of my fics and ngl i had forgotten about this bit but y’all i’ve been trying to work a Dramatic Airport Reunion into a fic FOR FUCKING EVER and i finally did it and i actually don’t hate it? (spoiler for the ending of Take a Chance on Me)

“See…” Louis starts. “See, there’s this guy. And, oh god, he’s an absolute twat. Wanna know what he did to me?” Harry nods faintly, and Louis, emboldened now, goes on. “So, I already knew who he was, right? I knew him, because he’d been in this god-awful boy band for years, and even if me bloody sisters hadn’t been so bloody in love with him, I’d still have known him, because he was just that famous.”

“I wasn’t that famous.”

“Don’t interrupt,” Louis chastises, and Harry mimics zipping his lips. “So this guy, I knew him, but he didn’t know me, but, fucking hell, I think someone forgot to tell him that, because there I was, minding my own business, when this kid just…” Louis giggles then, because the memory is just so ridiculous, “he just starts fucking singing to me, can you believe it?”

Harry shakes his head. “What a weirdo.”

“Right? The weirdest.”

“What happened next?”

“I fell in love with him.”

“What? That soon?”

“Of course not, Jesus, Harold. I’m not that pathetic. I waited the appropriate amount of time to fall in love, thank you very much.”

“Is that why you’re here, then?” Harry whispers. “Is it because you love him?”

“That’s part of it, yeah. I love him, and I love the way we just fit, and I adore his daughter, and our pets are friends now, and I think our sisters are best friends now, so they didn’t actually give me a choice, but do you want to know the biggest, most important reason?”

Harry nods quickly, so hard his chin bumps his chest, and Louis’ so fucking in love with him at that moment that these are the easiest words he’s ever said.

“I’m here,” he tells Harry, “because I was lying in my own bed, in my own house, surrounded by all my things, and all I wanted to do was go home.”

He’s yanked forward then, Harry’s fingers digging into his shoulders, and he barely feels the pain because it’s Harry, and everything’s good when it’s Harry. He’s babbling into Louis’ neck, and the only words he can make out are his name and “love you” and he shivers with the feeling.

Harry’s hair has grown out enough since the night Louis snuck in to see him that he can tangle his fingers in the strands. So he does, pulling Harry’s face away from his neck and pressing their lips together. Every kiss feels like an apology. Every kiss feels like home.

12. share or describe a favorite review you recieved: so this miiiiight be cheating but i received two comments on a fic i wrote in 2015 and it was kind of a surprise that something that old still held up and people still enjoy it? def made me feel better about my current writing and also anyone who quotes my fics back to me has earned my undying love and affection

13. a time when writing was really, really hard: i have adhd so p much always ahahaha

14. a scene or character you wrote that most surprised you: the entirety of “we’re swimming with the sharks until we drown” ngl because i struggled with the like… morally gray criminal-y elements? and portraying the two of them in such a different way while still staying in character which i like to think i nailed? hopefully lol

15. how did you grow as a writer this year? i don’t feel like a i have? but i’m also bias and hypercritical so maybe i did and just didn’t realize ahaha

16. how do you hope to grow next (this?) year: i want to enjoy writing again and i want to finish more fics and not let them rot in my docs because of self-doubt

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer: okay so first @amandaisnotwriting is the real MVP as she bears the brunt of my whining/complaining/drama queen moments as well as the fact that she listens (some would argue is forced to :p) and reads over fic for a pairing she doesn’t ship for a fandom she doesn’t care about 😂😂😂

@rainbowbaz always makes time to look over my fics even when she’s crazy busy and is honestly amazing and saves my fics from americanisms ahahaha

and FINALLY we met p late in the year but but @livingatthelairport ‘s comment on “the tesco fic” helped me out of a writing slump and now she’s become my cheerleader (and friend 💜) and that’s make a huge difference in my attitude towards writing! it’s also easier to write a fic for a specific person than worry about the opinion of a crowd which is def something i’ve been missing in this fandom rip

also to everyone else who has read my fics, listened to me rant about them or just helped the process along in any way at all this is a GIANT thank you!!

18. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? i mean i can’t think of anything off the top of my head but a lot of my inspo comes from the world around me so probably lol

19. any wisdom you can share with other writers: there’s nothing wrong with feeling jealous of other writers because i’m not a fan of hiding feelings just because they’re ugly as long as you don’t let it fester and turn into resentment or make you bitter. there are a lot of factors that go into a fic becoming “big” in a fandom but honestly most of it is just random chance so don’t beat yourself up because someone else’s success is not your failure and it’s nice to get recognition for your hard work but if you’re writing solely for the feedback then you’re writing for the wrong reason and that will lead to the resentment and bitterness mentioned earlier

also if you compliment someone you say you like their outfit but if you complement someone then you complete them

20. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I’M GLAD YOU ASKED

these are all the things i didn’t start and/or finish in 2018 that WILL be completed this year

the cat fic

the doctor fic

the final three chapters of days gone by

penpal AU

Space. Florist.

teenage fanboys who are also best friends

baking blog fic

a short follow up to tacom

twitter drama fic

80’s/’high school’/secret admirer!AU

something based on yawning grave by lord huron

part three of the alien harry series

chocolate orange holiday fic

LA fic (wtwm)

70’s fic

monkey fic

i’m also planning to do the @larryabroad challenge again because i had so much fun with it last time :D

21. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:

p sure everyone has done this but if you haven’t then do it now! and also tagging @cosyblack k bc you’ve had a really good year even if i have beta bias 😂

this took waaay longer than i thought it would omg but it was nice to take a look back!!

[emilyplaysotome]

Chapter 5 - From Good to Bad

Catch up on Chapter 1 - 4 here! (or just Chapter 4)

A leopard cannot change his spots and it would seem that Soryu Oh was destined to be on the wrong side of the law.

There was no ski mask, no hiding of features - just the man I’d known for some time looming over me in a similar fashion to how he’d once stood over me in his suite, as I cowered beneath him on a couch back at the fictional Tres Spades. His hair was slicked back and I found myself frozen beneath him, unclear as to why he was resorting to petty thievery.

“Hurry the fuck up!” He yelled as the train began to slow into Queensboro plaza.

“Ok…ok…I’m just going to reach for my wallet…”

Soryu’s eyes darted and he clicked his tongue in an irritated fashion.

“Shit!”

I held my wallet out to no one as I caught his back running towards an adjacent car. In my own, two NYPD officers barreled through the doors at the opposite end and began to chase him. It all happened so quickly that I barely could process what had transpired, but as the train pulled into the station I realized that the doors refused to open. After a short commotion in the empty train car next door, I watched as the subway finally allowed people on and off, and Soryu was escorted out in handcuffs by a plain clothed officer.

“Are you ok miss?” asked an African American cop. He stood at least 6 feet tall and peered down at me with a concerned expression.

“Yes. I’m fine.”

He handed me his card and I took it.

Terek Bishop was a detective at the NYPD. He was quite striking, with handsome features, short cropped hair and a clean-shaven face. He was the type of officer that broke the pot belly, doughnut eating stereotype and instead had the body of pro athlete with an intellectual sharpness that comes with outsmarting criminals on a daily basis.

He told me that the man who had moments ago held me up had been terrorizing the trains at night and made me sit on the platform at Queensboro Plaza as he took an official statement from me. After a good 15 minutes of talking, he finished his report and noted that I would most likely be called in as a witness against Soryu.

It never crossed his mind that I knew the man who had momentarily forgotten about me or his past life in this world. I was happy that Soryu had been apprehended yet if he was to end up in jail I had absolutely no clue as to how exactly I’d get that kiss. It was unlikely that I’d be able to meet Soryu through a dating app considering he was a criminal and seeing as how I had no idea insofar as how one schedules a conjugal visit, I could feel the king laughing at me from his invisible vantage point.

My face flushed as Terek took down my information and my mind started to run away with itself. Luckily he didn’t seem to notice and instead noted that someone from his unit would get in touch.

“Sorry for keeping you out so late ma’am,” he said politely and I found myself stopping him with the realization that Soryu wasn’t the only one Terek might be able to help me locate.

“You don’t happen to work with a Jin Namba?” I asked cautiously. “I think he’s NYPD as well…”

Terek shook his head with a smile and said, “We’re a large organization ma’am. Name sounds familiar but I don’t think I know him. You a friend of his?”

“Something like that.”

“You could call the main switchboard but that’s about the best I can do for you.”

“The switchboard?”

“Yeah, hold on. Hey Fuller?”

Terek spoke into his walky and I heard a static-y type of sound before the man on the other end of the line provided me with a phone number. Terek told me I could give it a call and be put in touch with an officer, should Jin Namba be NYPD.

I thanked him, well aware of the fact that I didn’t know if the king had left Jin’s profession intact or if he’d turned him into something else entirely. Coupled with the fact that even if he was still NYPD, I couldn’t just call him on a professional line and ask him out on a date.

Regardless though, these were questions best handled after a good night sleep and being keenly aware that the clock was nearing 1 am on a work night, I needed to get to Meg’s and get myself to bed.

The next day I rolled in to the office overtired and with a latte the size of my head.

For the most part being a manager meant not being subjected to the same sort of scrutiny when it came to arrival and departure times at work. However, maintaining an atmosphere built on “fairness” meant that I upheld the expectations set for my underlings. I wanted to roll in late but instead I dragged my haggard ass outta bed and was in my office by 9:30 knowing full well that I was an example for the junior employees that tended to go out more often than I did these days.

I had hoped to get through the morning with as little human interaction as possible, but as luck would have it Anita decided to pay me a visit around 10 AM. She was one of my few real friends at the office, seeing as how we were both senior level people and often found ourselves stuck on different iterations of “manager island”. She was an executive creative director, and with a twinkle in her eye she plopped herself down and announced that they were pitching for a new account.

“Do you remember when we did all that work for Marriott?”

“Vaguely - why do you ask?”

“A much, much sexier hospitality brand is coming down the pike for a pitch in a month and I’m looking for all those consumer testimonials you did.”

“Hmm.”

I could feel my metaphorical feet dragging as I waded through my old files and Anita knew me well enough to smirk and ask, “What did you get up to last night?”

“Oh, not much.”

“That’s not what this seems like…”

“I had a date if you must know.”

“A date?” She asked with a perplexed expression, “but wait…you and…”

It was then that I’d realized I’d messed up. I hadn’t really wanted to talk about our breakup seeing as how I wanted to believe I’d get the opportunity to see him again and figure out my feelings once and for all. As stressful as this new game was, I hoped that it would allow me to solidify what I wanted and get it but I hadn’t really wanted to broadcast the journey to those in my real life.

“Please, keep it on the DL,” I said. “I’m still hoping we’ll get back together.”

“So you went out with him?”

“Not exactly…”

“Noami…I’m not judging, just confused.”

“It’s a long story that I don’t feel like getting into,” I said quickly. “And I found the presentation. Should I slack it to you?”

Anita nodded and said, “Thanks. And if you ever want to talk I’m here. I won’t push, just saying.”

“I appreciate that.”

Anita left and I found myself thinking about Meg’s return and the fact that I was mostly on my own. I spent a good portion of the day trying to figure out how I could loosely explain my dilemma to friends, but other than Leon I had a hard time believing anyone in this world could comprehend what had happened to me during my time down the otome rabbit hole. I found myself thinking of those last few days when all I wanted was my New York friends to offer their advice and support on what man I should take back to this world, yet now that I was home I had no way of leaning on them.

I trudged through as much work as I could handle and around 4 pm decided that I was mentally done for the day. Luckily for me, that meant laying low in my office having no pending meetings and most of my department busy with their assigned work.

As I once had in an otome cafe, I pulled out a new notebook and wrote the names of the men I was looking for in order to help get some sense of organization or a plan. I’d fallen into a date with Hiroshi, but having met Soryu once more realized that I couldn’t just keep swiping and hope to run into these men. I’d need to be slightly proactive and hope that the king had preserved some of their defining characteristics considering there were traces of the men they had been in both Soryu and Hiroshi.

At the moment I figured outside of waiting for my park date with Hiroshi on Saturday, I could follow up with Terek and feign some story of wanting to look Soryu in the eyes and confront the man who had accosted me on the train. For Jin, I could call the NYPD switchboard and confirm whether or not he was an employee. If he was, I’d have to concoct a story to meet up with him and if he wasn’t I’d cross that bridge when I got there. Hijikata and Zyglavis’ whereabouts remained a complete mystery at the moment and I jotted down a few clues and interests ranging from martial arts to chocolate cake.

Taking into account the size of New York City, the exercise felt far more futile than it had back in otome-ville where I’d had the upper hand. Even though you’d think I’d have the home game advantage considering we were in New York, the vastness of the city left me feeling like I was attempting to locate a bunch of golden needles in a dirty, rat infested haystack.

With these men I’d have to cross my fingers and hope we’d cross paths on an app, while researching hot new spots that may have opened up and attracted them.

Then, there was the last man that the king summoned who at the moment remained a total mystery. When he had noted this fact I initially thought the man in question might be Shunichiro Tachibana and I’d be lying if my heart hadn’t been hopeful of this fact. Zyglavis never knew, but I continued to play Shun’s routes from time to time seeing as how Irresistible Mistakes never had the issues that the other games had upon my return to this world. However, as I mustered up the courage to launch the game with the hope that Shun’s route would be mysteriously unavailable, I couldn’t help but think that was far too easy considering how duplicitous the king was…

…and when Shun’s route loaded without issue, I could feel my heart sink.

If I was being honest (and somehow the king’s games always forced me to take a long, hard look in the mirror), Shun and Hijikata were always the two that I questioned saying goodbye to. With Hijikata, I didn’t have a choice to explore where that relationship could leave as I was taken back to the future before it could unfold. Shun, on the other hand, was someone who had always matched well with me on paper and it was nothing more than a fleeting gut feeling that made me leave him behind.

It may sound ridiculous, but I was jealous of his MC whenever I’d read his stories and as a result, that emotion that bubbled up made me question why it was that I had deemed him not my match. He really would have been the most perfect boyfriend, and having played more and more of his routes I realized that I’d gone with someone I had more information about over someone I was getting to know. His dismissal haunted me more and more as Zyglavis and I had a harder time being together and I often wondered how he would have handled his jealousy.

Now it was clear to me that we would not be getting a second chance to find out, and despite being at work that realization did not prevent tears from welling up in my eyes. I was happy that most of the office had headed home, but there were enough of my employees left that I attempted to compose myself as I hid behind my monitor.

By the time I’d finally composed myself, I was in an empty office and had little choice but to go back to Meg’s and pack in anticipation of returning home this weekend. She was set to return tomorrow evening and we discussed having dinner together before I went back to my empty studio on the Upper East Side.

I was surprised at how hard I was taking the news that Shun was most likely not the mystery man brought here from the otome world, and convinced that I needed to cheer up pushed myself to recover with a yummy dinner and marathon of Vanderpump Rules. Naturally, it’s the moments of feigned positivity when the universe decides to throw another gut punch and though one could argue it was my fault for having my attention on my phone instead of the street in front of me I accidentally careened into a beautiful woman.

I didn’t mean for her to topple over in such a dramatic fashion, but she looked up at me stunned with large doe-like eyes as her long legs were sprawled out on the pavement. Before I could off her an apology or my hand for that matter, a familiar man flew out of the restaurant she’d been waiting in front of and rushed up to her.

“Are you ok?” He asked.

“I think so.”

“Someone could have gotten hurt as a result of your carelessness!” he chided, confirming my suspicions and adding to what was already proving to be a downer of a day.

Zyglavis’ not only had a girlfriend, but she appeared to be everything that I was not.

Read Chapter 6

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[waywardnerd67]

Writing Your Story: Chap. 15 - Time Of Our Lives

Summary: Sam, Dean and Castiel gather after Raelyn’s death to remember her as she had wished for them too. Each of them taking turns reading their letters from her. Months later, Dean receives a copy of Raelyn’s last Supernatural book from her agent. Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel and Raelyn Nichols (OFC) Pairing: Dean X Raelyn (OFC) Warnings: Angst Word Count: 2867 A/N: *dodges objects being thrown at her* I know quite a few of your are upset about Chapter 14. It is where the story led me to write. I hated writing it as much as you all hated reading it. We have only ONE CHAPTER left where I am hoping you all will enjoy the ending because I wrote it on a whim after writing this chapter. The song is “Time Of Our Lives” by Tyrone Wells and the lyrics are in bold. I highly suggest you listen to the song because it’s great. This chapter will be equally as hard for you as the last and I am sorry.  As always this is unbeta so all mistakes are mine. Likes, comments and reblogs are splendid and I will love you doubly for them! Enjoy!

Catch Up Here: Writing Your Story Masterlist

Sam and Castiel stood outside Raelyn’s bedroom looking in on Dean sitting on her bed. “What do we do for him?” Castiel asked. Sam shook his head, “The only we can, Cas. Give him time.” Sam pushed Castiel gently towards the library leaving Dean in her room. It had been three days since he held Raelyn for the last time. Three days since she took her last breath. Thinking about her lying in his arms, lifeless, brought fresh tears to his eyes. Dean had hardly left the bunker or her room since she died. He had not said a word to anyone but slept in her bed and looked at the pictures she had taken during their weekend trip. Each picture she had a brilliant smile on her face that made his heart skip a beat. A smile he would only see in pictures now and never in person. Dean wiped his eyes when he heard a knock on the door frame.

Sam walked in, “It’s Eric, he says it’s important.” Dean cleared his throat and took the phone from Sam, “Yeah.” Eric voice was sullen, “Hello Dean. I’m sorry for your loss.” Dean gritted his teeth trying to keep his anger at bay. “Thank you. What can I do for you?” Eric explained that a few days before Raelyn had died she sent her Will and Last Testament to a lawyer in Chicago. Raelyn had named Eric the Executor of it. “Dean, could I meet you in Lebanon tomorrow to give you what Raelyn left you in her Will?” Dean swallowed the lump in his throat. “Sure, Eric there is a diner called Jiffy Burger. Meet there at noon tomorrow.” Eric agreed and their call ended. “Everything okay?” Sam asked. “Apparently, Raelyn sent her Will and Last Testament a few days before she died. Eric is the Executor and has something that Raelyn left me. I’m meeting him tomorrow.” Dean said grabbing the bottle of whiskey off her nightstand. “Do you want me to go with you?” Sam gave Dean a sympathetic look as he hardened his expression, “No.” He went back to looking at the pictures in his lap as Sam silently walked out.

As soon as Dean walked into the diner memories of Raelyn flooded his mind. He saw Eric sitting at a table with a laptop bag. “Eric.” Dean said shaking his hand. Their waiter took their order both only ordering a drink and Eric pulled out a stack of papers. “Raelyn requested that you make all decisions concerning her burial. She left you specific instructions in this envelope.” Dean took the envelope seeing his name in her handwriting. “Next, she is transferring all her royalty deposits in this account for you. I have a copy of her death certificate so you can take over ownership of it. Since Wayward Sisters just came out and with Raelyn’s death we’re imagining that book sales will be higher than ever before. You should expect around $6000 for royalties.” Dean’s eyed slightly bugged out, “I don’t even care about the money. You know that, right?” Dean said as Eric nodded. “Yes, we would all rather have her than not, especially me.” Dean knew Eric and Raelyn were close friends and the fact that no one knew the truth of what happened to her was killing Dean.

“There are a few papers I need you to sign concerning the royalties before I leave today. Finally,” Eric pulled out three hardcover books, “these are for you, Sam and Cas. I’m hoping you know who those guys are.” Dean nodded taking the books in his hands. “This was her last manuscript submitted right after her trip to Santa Cruz. She wanted you three to have the first three copies off the printer. There are three extra pages at the end of the book that she requested for your copies only.” Dean ran his hand over the cover as tears came to his eyes. The title of her book was, ‘Time of Our Lives’ the same title of their song. “It’s a beautiful book and is going to be release on Raelyn’s birthday this upcoming December. We are also releasing a press statement concerning her death at the end of this week. Morgan is holding a memorial service as well in Chicago.” Dean nodded looking up. “I know she called me about it. I don’t know…” Eric nodded as he knew how Dean felt. “Once you sign these papers then we are all finished.” Dean signed what Eric needed and they walked out together.

Sam and Castiel were waiting for Dean when he came back to the bunker. “How did it go?” Sam asked as Dean set everything Eric gave him down on the table. “Fine. I have to go to a bank next week to transfer ownership of an account Raelyn set up for us. She transferred all the Supernatural royalties over to us.” Sam sat there in shock and then chuckled. Dean looked at him perplexed, “Why are you laughing?” Sam stopped seeing the pain on Dean’s face. “Even though she’s gone she is still trying to take care of us by giving us honest money.” Dean thought about it and he started to laugh softly along with Sam and Castiel. “Dean, what are the books?” Castiel asked as Dean handed one to each of them. Sam smiled looking down at the book, “Her last manuscript.” Dean nodded and whispered, “The title is the name of our song.” Sam placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Finally, Dean opened the enveloped for him. He asked for Sam and Castiel to stay as he read it.

“Dear Dean, If you are reading this then my plan was successful and I’m so sorry. During our last night in Santa Cruz, Chuck visited me in my dream. He told me the only way for Raymond to be killed is if I died as well. I guess because of our Supernatural blood the whole twin connection was amplified. One could not live without the other. I knew you, Sam and Cas would not let me go through with it so I had to leave you all with no goodbyes. I never wanted to hurt any of you and I’m so sorry I did. 

You should have received a copy of my book. Please read the dedication and letters in the book during my funeral. I would also like you to play our song in the background. I want you to give me a hunter’s funeral. When you burn my body also burn my laptop because if I was going to be attached to any item it would be that. I backed up everything to my external hard drive in my room. I know I wasn’t a hunter but I don’t want to take any chances of being stuck as a ghost. My body should still be at the morgue and I want you to make the arrangements for it. I want you to burn my body in my favorite field where we looked up at the stars. For the love of Chuck do not burn the whole field down. 

I know this will be hard on you. You have never dealt with loss well. Promise me, you won’t drink yourself into a pit or make any rash decisions. I did this so the people I loved the most were going to be safe. No matter what, this was how it had to end. Dean, the months we spent together have been the best of my life. Our weekend together in Santa Cruz is my heaven and I’ll be waiting for you in our hotel room. Just don’t come too soon because you still have work to do. I love you, Dean Winchester. Love, Raelyn PS: Tell Sam and Cas that I love them too.”

Dean looked up at Sam and Castiel who both had tears in their eyes. That is when Dean’s dam burst opened. He held onto the letter weeping openly in front of his little brother and best friend. He had lost a lot of people in his life and the pain he would feel he was always able to deal with. Losing Raelyn, his soulmate, was like losing part of his heart or air to breath. Now he knew what his father had felt when their mom had died. The anguish he felt and having no support to lean on but his bitterness for revenge. He felt Sam’s long arm around his shoulder and Castiel was standing behind him with his hand gripping his arm. In that moment, he was thankful for having people around him who he could rely on to help him through this. Dean composed himself and looked up at Sam and Castiel, “I don’t think I can go to the morgue and…” Dean could not finish the sentence. “Do not worry. I will go and take care of everything.” Castiel said as Dean nodded his thanks.

Two days later, Dean, Sam and Castiel traveled to Raelyn’s favorite field just as the sun was setting. Dean and Sam gathered wood piling all along a platform they had constructed. Castiel was given the task to make sure the fire would not spread any further than the pit they were creating. As they placed the last few pieces of wood in place Dean’s stomach started to churn. He took a moment, standing by the Impala, to collect himself.

A warm breeze whipped around him and suddenly he felt a wave of calm flow over him. He looked up at the sky the first few stars starting to shine bright and he could not help but think of Raelyn. “Dean, we’re ready.” Sam said as he nodded. Dean opened the back door of the Impala where Raelyn’s body was wrapped in a white sheet. Sam helped him getting her out of the back seat and then Dean carried her to the pit platform. Tears slipped down his face as he laid her down. The three of them stood together each throwing a burning branch onto the pit watching the fire spread quickly all the way around. Dean pulled out her book as Sam started playing their song through her Bluetooth speaker.

This is where the chapter ends A new one now begins Time has come for letting go The hardest part is when you know All of these years, when we were here Are ending, but I'll always remember We have had the time of our lives Now the page is turned The stories we will write We have had the time of our lives

“This book is dedicated to three special men in my life. To show them that they can have their pie and eat it too. To my angel friend who guarded me from harm. My unofficial big brother, who was always my sounding board. Always there with advice and support. Finally, to my pretty boy, you are my everything and I love you.” Dean read out loud and then passed the book over to Castiel. He flipped to the back of the book where his letter and a picture of the two of them was.

And I will not forget The faces left behind It's hard to walk away From the best of days But if it has to end I'm glad you have been my friend In the time of our lives

“Cas, what can I say dear friend. Our friendship started off rocky, but in the end, you became one of my best friends. My favorite memory is when we met at our favorite diner in Chicago. You had just come back from the Big Empty and I couldn’t believe it was you. You told me that you annoyed a Cosmic Entity to come back to Earth. I remember thinking in that moment that not only were we the perfect friends but how much I took you for granted. From that point forward, I made more of an effort to be a better friend to you. I’m sorry I took you for granted and don’t let them do what I did. Be your quirky, lovable self and please for the love of Chuck, watch some movie with Dean and read a book Sam recommends to you. You have to keep up with your pop culture references. Stop by and see me some time. I will have a beach chair there for you. Oh and Cas, keep your eye on Dean. Keep him safe from others and especially himself.” Castiel passed the book to Sam who flipped the page to his letter and a picture of him and Raelyn in the library.

I'm glad you have been my friend In the time of our lives We say goodbye We hold on tight To these memories That never die

“Sammy, you finally got to be a big brother to someone even if you didn’t realize it. You are an amazing big brother. You are extremely protective, loving and supportive to those around you. Sure, you can be stubborn at times but I think that’s just comes with the last name. Sam, don’t think that you can’t have a life and hunt as well. There is no either or for you or your brother. Saving people, hunting things, the family business also includes your life. Don’t be afraid to fall in love. Don’t be afraid to live your life. You are going to lose people close to you, but let those losses give you strength to love others just as those who are gone loved you. Sam, stay close to Dean. Don’t allow him to push you away. Rely on each other in this hard time. You are the glue that will keep the three of you together. I love you, big brother.” Sam wiped away the tears coming down his cheeks with the back of his sleeve. He handed the book to Dean. He gazed at the fire for a few moments before flipping the page to his letter. He saw a few pictures of him and Raelyn together from Santa Cruz. Taking a deep breath he read his letter.

Where the water meets the land There is shifting in the sand Like the tide that ebbs and flows Memories will come and go All of these years When we were here Are ending But I'll always remember We have had the time of our lives

“Hi pretty boy. From the moment I began writing the Supernatural books I knew you would impact my life the most. I felt connected to you even when you were just a character in my favorite book series. I would have never believed that I was meant to be with a man who is as strong, brave and hot as you are. I always felt I was never going to be good enough for you. You deserved a woman who was fearless, who was strong, who could turn heads when she walked into a room. I never believed I was that woman until you. You showed me how strong I am. You showed me how fearless I am. You showed me how the only head that matter to turn and look at me was yours. You took every insecurity, every insult, every bad moment from my past and washed them away with your love for me. 

Dean, I know you blame yourself. It is because of you I had the strength to save all my loved ones and there are not enough ways to say thank you for that. You protected me, taught me, loved me until the very end. Now, for the hard part. You and I are soulmates. We were meant to be with each other, but there was never a certain length of time set for it. Don’t wallow in your grief. Lean on Sam and Cas. Allow yourself to cry, but also allow yourself to laugh. Most of all, allow yourself to love again. You have so much love pent up inside of you that you have to let it out on someone. 

I will always love you and I know you will always love me, but don’t let the memory of me hold you back. Just like I told Sam, you can have a life and hunt. You would be doing the world a disservice with the Winchester name did not get passed on to the next generation of hunters. Remember, I’ll be waiting for you in Santa Cruz. I love you so much, Dean Winchester.” Dean closed the book holding it to his chest. He wept quietly as Sam pulled him and Cas together under his arms. The three of them stood there listening to Raelyn’s song until the fire started to die out and the stars were shining bright.

We have had the time of our lives Now the page is turned The stories we will write We have had the time of our lives And I will not forget The faces left behind It's hard to walk away From the best of days But if it has to end I'm glad you have been my friend In the time of our lives

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[butwelivehappilyeverafter-blog]

Romeo and Juliet with Grunge ~ Part 2

This goes from 0 to 100 at the end but that's what you get with a longer chapter! I wrote this while watching Harry Potter, like the true brit I am, and listening to Zella Day (for anyone who gives a shit.) Another update should be done really soon x

Part 1

~~~

Part 2

Betty tried to keep her head down as she walked into Vixen practise late as Cheryl was doing her pep rant, but the HBIC, unsurprisingly, was a stone-cold bitch who seemed to have eyes in the back of her head.

“Betty, nice of you to grace us with your presence”

Fuck

“Meet me in the gym in 5 minutes ladies. If Betty feels like she can hold up practice, then I will too” Then, with a sickly-sweet smile, she was gone.

Betty skulked over to where Veronica was standing by their lockers, her good mood dampened significantly, and began to change.

“She may be a bit harsh, but I can’t help but find that attitude endearing.” Veronica gushed.

Betty made some non-committal noise as she tugged her jumper over her head. She did not want to listen to Veronica’s Cheryl-based fantasies right now. She just wanted to get this over with before she ends up punching a wall. Or Cheryl. Preferably the latter.

“Jesus, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.” Veronica teased as Betty just looked at her, unamused and went back to digging in her bag for her uniform. “Look B, I’m sorry about what we said at lunch, it was uncalled for, but you’ve got to admit you’re a goody two shoes. Its part of your irresistible charm.”  

Betty felt slightly guilty Veronica thought her bad mood was her fault. Truthfully, she’d completely forgotten about lunch.  She finally turned to look at Veronica, “Don’t worry V, it’s fine, I’m just stretched a bit thin at the mom-“

“Oh my GOD Betty! What is that?” Veronica whisper shouted, jabbing her finger towards Bettys revealed chest. Bettys eyes darted down at the large mark just above her bra.

A hickey.

Fuck.

She was going to kill Jughead Jones.

Panic set in as one of Betty’s hands shot up to cover the mark while the other dug desperately through her bag, grasping her uniform. “Keep your voice down V!”

“I’ll keep my voice down when you explain why you’ve got a hickey! What aren’t you telling me?”

Betty pulled on her Vixen uniform and desperately thought of an answer to Veronicas question that was better than ‘I’ve been sleeping with a Southside Serpent for 10 months.’

“It’s nothing Veronica. Just a… I don’t know, fling I guess. Wanted to let lose for once, away from the claws of Alice Cooper.” Betty said, lying through her teeth, blessing her lucky stars that thinking off the top of her head is a Cooper trait.

Veronica stood back slightly, watching her put on her uniform for a moment before accepting her answer. “Believe me girl I get it, there’s been many a night where I’ve been thinking about Cheryl and-“

“I’m going to stop you there in your fantasy about a girl who will quite literally claw me if I’m not in that gym in 30 seconds.” Betty said as she internally thanked every god that Veronica believed her cover story.

“Fine but I want details on mystery man at some point. You know you can tell me anything right?”

“Sure, but give me some time Ronnie”

Betty didn’t like lying to her. But she’s noticed recently, as much as she’d like to tell Veronica all the bullshit going on in her life right now, she finds herself telling Jughead instead. He was her go to confidant now and she’s happier than she’s ever been. Maybe it’s the class divide but Jughead understands her in a way Veronica, with her Upper-class clouded vision can’t. They had, be known to her, been drifting apart recently. Less one on one time at Pop’s or sleepovers at the Pembrooke. In fact, they hadn’t done something together without the usual entourage in weeks, and the longer they were apart, the deeper the cracks in their friendship showed.

Betty was broken, and Veronica didn’t see it.

At least, not the way he did, and he still loved her.

As much as she hated to admit it, her friends didn’t understand her anymore. With every step she takes further into darkness, the more faded her ties to the Northside became and the more she felt like herself.

***

Fangs stood behind the bar at the Whyte Wyrm. The afternoon shift was always a slow one so apart from the usual’s it was just him and Sweetpea playing a no holds back game of Go Fish. It wasn’t very macho, but it gets to the point where you know each other plays and poker just becomes boring. It was peaceful in the afternoon, unlike the normal turbulences that go along with their kind of lifestyle. That was until Jughead burst in, pulling his arms through his jacket sleeves and stumbling hurriedly up the stairs.

It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for Jughead Jones to barge in unannounced. His dad had been living in the upstairs flat of the Wyrm for 18 months, ever since his Mum had run off and left her two kids and their struggling alcoholic father to fend for themselves. FP hadn’t been able to cope after Gladys had gone. It had been too much for him to take, turning to drink more and becoming a burden for his kids to handle. In all honesty, they were all better off apart, everyone knew it. Jellybean was doing better in school, Jughead was visibly happier and FP was, for the most part, sober. But you knew something bad had happened when Jughead comes to see his father without his younger sister.

“Reckon it’s business or dis-pleasure?” Sweetpea asked, evidently concerned.

“Whatever it is, we’ll hear it soon enough” Fangs replied warily. A Jones family reunion was normally a loud one.

***

Jughead pegged it up the stairs, two at a time. He was pissed. Not just your usual angsty gang boy pissed. This was different.  

Tuesday’s were good days, he’s had a routine going for the last few weeks with the school merger. All he had to do was go to school, keep up grades, keep any socialising to a minimum, try hard not to stare at his girlfriend, write at the blue and gold while girlfriend is at Vixen practise, ‘write’ with said girlfriend at the Blue and Gold after Vixen practise and finally return home with a blonde under his arm to go live out all his domestic fantasies of baking cookies while listening to shitty indie pop. Tuesday’s were great.

Apart from thus particular Tuesday, when he gets a drunken call from his dad while waiting for Betty and must speed to the Wyrm to make sure he doesn’t drink himself to death. Yep, this Tuesday was turning out to be quite shitty.

Arriving at the door to his dad’s small apartment he knocked loudly before opening the door. His dad sat, passed out in the chair, TV still blaring some sport match, it could be baseball but Jughead wasn’t focused on the details.

He leaned down beside his father and prised the whisky bottle from his grip, collecting any bottles from around the living room and taking them through to the kitchen, pouring them down the sink one by one, chucking the empty bottles in the bin.

He hated that he was still having to do this. All the promises of sobriety his dad had ever made were always bullshit. But why now, what triggered him to be so distraught as to look for answers at the bottom of a bottle.

He found his answer as he went to dispose of the last bottle and noticed a letter, torn into quarters and deposited in the bin. He fished it out and put the pieces together and began to read. It was from his mother. That made a lot of sense.

Fuming he pulled out his phone and called Jellybean.

“Heyyy Jug, are you gonna be home soon or what. I kind of rely on Betty’s cooking on weekdays. Jug? You there?”

“Did you know Mom was getting remarried?”

“Wait what are you on about? Moms doing what?”

“She’s sent Dad a letter saying she ‘regrets to inform him that, as the divorce is finalised, she will be remarrying some guy called Ethan’” He read in a sickly-sweet voice. “But don’t worry, if you’re feeling left out or, I don’t know, neglected by your own mother not bothering to inform you about this, she says we’re welcome to come!”

“That bitch I swear to god… Wait Jug, why are you even over there?” JB asked concerned

“Dad called me off his face earlier, so I came to check and found the letter in the trash. What do I do Jelly?”

She sighed and Jughead could hear sounds like she was standing up, “I hate to be that girl, but there’s nothing we can do apart from wait for him to sober up. So, pick yourself up, come home and enjoy some delicious home cooked food provided by the everlasting radiant beam of sunshine that is Betty Cooper. Betty is coming over tonight right?”

He smiled at the panic in her voice at the question “If I manage to get back to Riverdale high in 15 minutes and pick her up, no one should be around, so it’ll be fine. See you in a bit sis” and with that he hung up.

***

He wasn’t there. He hadn’t been waiting in the Blue and Gold when she finished practise like he normally was. He hadn’t arrived when she decided to start working and he still wasn’t here as she was locking the door and turning out the lights. She was used to this when he was at Southside High. Sometimes it was hard for him to get to the Northside without becoming conspicuous, so she would just meet him at him and JB’s apartment. However, now that he was at Riverdale High, things should be easier.

She was about to lose hope and call Kevin for a ride when two arms snaked around her waist from behind, causing her heart to leap out of her chest before she settled into the familiar comfort.

“Sorry I wasn’t here Bets, something came up that I had to deal with” Jughead mumbled into her hair.

She turned in his arms and looked up to face him, he looked upset. “What happened Jug?”

“I’ll explain on the way, but we should really get out of this corridor before someone spots us.”

“Don’t worry, we’re the only people insane enough to be at school this late” Betty smirked, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the open doors.

***

Jellybean sat on the couch, the record player in the corner playing ‘The Wall’ for the umpteenth time, as she waited for Jughead and Betty to get home. Her stomach rumbled, and she groaned at the prospect of having to get up and make herself something from what measly food they had in the kitchen. That was one of the things she loved about Betty, along with having another girl in the house, she was able to make a meal from virtually nothing. Something the Jones siblings appreciated more than anything.

Just as she was about to admit defeat and chuck some leftover pasta bake in the microwave, she heard the key in the lock and the door swing open.

She stood up and began to walk around the corner towards the noise, turning the record off as she went. “Hey guys, any plans on food, I thought you’d be back earlier than this, so I didn’t bother- Eww guys!” JB’s hands shot up to cover her eyes “Kid sister is present, get your PDA out of my face”

Jughead and Betty jumped apart at the sound, Jughead rolling his eyes as Betty laughed. “It’s not PDA if we’re inside, this isn’t public, this is our home Jelly”

“Still, I want to be able to walk through the living room without finding you working your girlfriend against a wall” JB teased as Jughead blushed and Betty laughed again

“Okay, I’m going to go make something to eat, if you guys want any you need to help” Betty said winking and walking through to the small kitchen.

Jughead gave a lovesick sigh and began to pick up his and Betty’s coats from the floor. “Sorry to interrupt you guys, but I have been waiting for ages” JB smirked, “Did you tell Betty about Mom?”

“Yeah, she was angrier than I was” Jughead laughed “Come on, let’s go help out before she comes out here and drags us in there herself”

“Fine” She said, walking through with him “but any of that lovey dovey shit and I’m out”

“Fine” He chuckled, opening the kitchen door “What do you need help with babe”

“A way to control my anger at your mother.” Betty fumed, vigorously chopping up carrots. “I’ve never even met her, but she seems vile, no offence guys

“None taken Betty, she’s a bitch” Jellybean exhaled.

“We’re better off without her” Jughead stated “as for dad, he’s pretty beat up about the whole thing, so we should keep an eye on him.”

“Agreed, I’ll pop round after school tomorrow” JB said

“I wish I could help you guys out, but, for obvious reasons…”

“Its okay Bets, you do enough for us as it is” Jughead said, grabbing her hand and rubbing over her palm with his thumb.

Betty smiled up at him her heart beating double a second. The moment was broken when JB made a retching sound from behind them “That’s it I’m out. Have fun guys” And left the room.

They continued preparing vegetables for a while after she had gone in comfortable silence. As Jughead wrestled with the cheese grater, Betty spoke from beside him “Hey, um jug. Something happened… at school today that you should know about.”

“What sort of thing?” He asked, furrowing his brow

“Well, do you remember last week when we went up to Greendale for that poetry slam?” She asked, struggling to find a way to approach the subject “And we ended up back here…”

A smile spread over his face as he recalled “Of course I do. Why? Do you want a replay because I’d be all too happy to” He said as his hand ran up her arm.

She chuckled and swotted him off “Not that I don’t want that right now, but I was more referring to the massive hickey you gave me”

“Oh yeah, sorry about that” He looked sheepish but couldn’t help grinning “But what does this have to do with anything that happened at school today?”

“Well surprisingly, when you have a hickey and your best friends sees it, they do ask questions. Especially when that best friend is Veronica Lodge”

Realisation dawned on him and panic began to set in “Wait so you told Veronica about us?”

“No No I managed to lie my way out of it,” She said clasping both of his hands in hers “but it got me thinking, with you being at Riverdale High, its going to get a lot harder hiding this from people, especially our friends”

“What are you saying Bets?” He asked, confused. “You don’t think we should start telling people do you?”

“Why not Jug? I’m sick of hiding what we have like it’s something to be ashamed of!” She shouted “What we have, it’s what most people wish for their entire lives. I love you so much, and I want to show people that.”

“I love you too Bets, and I understand what you’re saying, but that’s exactly why we can’t tell the world we’re together. If we do it will put both of us in danger. Tensions between the North and Southside are worse than ever and if people knew, all they’d think was that I was corrupting you or that you were manipulating me. I’m sorry, but it’s too dangerous.”

“Okay, I get it, but please. I need to get all these feelings off my chest or I might explode. I need someone else to talk to about us that your little sister. Please” Betty grabbed his face in her hands and felt him melt into her touch.

“Who do you want to tell, because, no offence, but you friends are really judgmental. We need to be careful about who we trust with this.”

“I have an idea, but you won’t like it” She said, raising an eyebrow

“No, no way! Anybody but him please Bets”

“But Archie knows you, or at least used to. Me, Kevin, him and you were inseparable before your Dad took you to live on the Southside. As much as Archie would like to forget it, you two were the closest of all. It may have been a long time ago, but I think he’s our best shot at being exceptive.” She pleaded “He’s one of my best friends Jug, and he used to be yours. I want that again.”

“You drive a hard bargain Cooper,” He smirked “But what about dear Archibald’s schoolboy crush on you. Don’t you think he’ll get a bit jealous?”

“Well he has to get over it sooner or later” She winked “He’ll understand Juggie. Please, will you do this for me?”

Jughead could never say no to those puppy dog eyes “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but tomorrow, we’ll tell Archie”

“Thank you for understanding Juggie” she smiled widely up at him after pulling him into a hug.

“But, no guarantee I won’t punch him if he’s a dick about it”

Betty laughed and shoved him away, “Shut up and go peel some potatoes”

***

“Betty, you are a magician I swear” JB moaned as she had another bite of apple pie. “Where did you find pecan nuts?”

“I have my sources” Betty quipped from her position lead in Jughead’s lap on the couch “I’m glad my habit of stress baking is appreciated somewhere”

“Hey, what time do you need to get to Pops?” Jughead asked, playing with her hair

“Shit, I should probably go now if I want to get there anywhere near on time” Betty stood up and kissed Jughead's forehead ��I’ll see you tomorrow at mine then?”

“Course, love you” Jughead yawned

“I love you too, Jug. See you soon JB” Betty said, walking to the door

“Bye Betty, bring cherries next time” JB shouted after her

Jughead rolled his eyes and Betty laughed before shutting the door behind herself, beginning to walk to pops.

***

“Betty Cooper! Where have you been, we said to meet at 8:30.” Kevin looked exasperated as he pulled her into a tight hug “I thought you’d been kidnapped or something!”

“Calm down Kev, it’s Riverdale, who would be kidnapping anyone round here”

“Wait, you haven’t heard? It just happened earlier so no reason you should I guess.”

Betty started to panic “What is it Kev, what happened?”

“It’s Reggie, he got jumped by a bunch of Southsider’s earlier. They think it was a serpent”

Betty scoffed at that, “That’s ridiculous. The Serpents don’t just randomly jump people”

“How would you know Bets? I dated a serpent for a regretful 2 months and I still have no idea how they work or how they make their money. How would you know after just a few weeks of them being at Southside?”

“I just-“

“Come on and sit Betty” Kevin interrupted “Everyone’s been worried sick”

“Fine” Betty said through gritted teeth. Taking her usual seat next to Archie “What else have I missed in the past half hour?”

“Well, I wrote a new song. Anyone want to hear it-“

“No!” Betty, Kevin and Veronica all said together

“Fine, it was worth a shot.” Archie said dejectedly as Veronica continued her story about Cheryl being a lovable bitch

“Anyway, so then I came back with a great insult about her knee highs when-“

“Hey, who let in the serpents!” Archie interjected “They’re lucky the Bulldogs aren’t here, or they’d be flat on their asses!”

Betty turned to see Toni, Sweetpea and Fangs walk in followed by Jughead, putting his beanie back on his head after having to take it off to ride his bike. She just started along with the rest of them as Archie fumed next to her. What were they doing here on this side of town?

“They’re fucking lowlifes, why do they have to invade everywhere they’re not wanted!”

“Calm down Arch. If you want to know why they’re here, let’s go ask them” Betty said, standing up and making her way over to where they stood in the doorway.

“Wait! Betty I’ll come with you” Archie said, scrambling out of the booth after her as Veronica and Kevin stared at the scene in front of them, transfixed.

Archie caught up with her and put his hand on her shoulder just as she came to a standstill in front of the baby serpents. Jughead’s eyes widened as she stood there, not knowing what to say. She stared back at him and they had a wordless conversation for a few seconds before Archie cleared his throat and Betty snapped out of it.

“Hey, umm we were just wondering what your doing on this side of town?” She asked, plastering a fake smile on her face and removing Archie’s arm from her shoulders.

“Why do you care, Princess.” Toni stepped forward before an arm shot out to hold her back

“Toni” Jughead said warningly, before having his arm punched away by Toni

“You’re not your dad Jughead. You have no authority over me” She said, nostrils flared “I can talk to whoever I want, especially when they’re the enemy” She turned back to face Betty.

“Hey! We’re not the enemy, you’re the enemy” Archie said, pointing at them  

“That’s generally how enemy’s work Archibald, nice to see you again too. Its been too long” Jughead piped up. “Now, can you and your girlfriend get out of our way, we’re just looking for someone, then well be out of your hair.”

“Girlfriend?” Betty snorted without thinking, “In his dreams”

“Ouch Bets” Archie said from beside her as Jughead couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face. “What are you smirking at snake?”

“Hey” Betty said to Archie as the serpents began to come towards them, fists clenched, “Hey!” She shouted a second time until all eyes were on her “Can we not fight here, please. Jughead Jones, right? Can I talk to you outside” She said, eyes fixed on his.

“Why do you want to talk to him Northside?” Sweetpea stepped forward

“Hey! She’s fine, let’s talk outside Cooper” Jughead raised his eyebrows at her and she followed him out to the parking lot, leaving Archie and the Serpents extremely confused.

 ***

“Are we out of earshot do you reckon?” Jughead asked once they were outside “Betty, baby, look at me?”

“I think so, oh god what a mess!” Betty said, hands moving to touch his jacket, but stopping herself, aware of all the eyes watching them from inside the diner. “Why are you all here?”

“I’m sorry Bets, Tall Boy came over just after you left, saying how Reggie Mantle got jumped and to go out looking for the Ghoulies that did it.”

“So that was the Ghoulies?”

“Yeah, who else would it be?”

“Everyone’s saying that the Serpents were the ones that jumped him, Mayor McCoy too”

“Shit, we should get out of here. You’ll be ok without me if the Ghoulies turn up, right?”

Betty smirked “I think I’ll manage. I’ve got big strong Archie Andrews for a boyfriend, he’ll protect  me, right?”

“You do know I only said that to be inconspicuous?” He asked

“I don’t know, maybe your feeling insecure. I’d be happy to fix that” She said with a wink and pulled him around the corner, out of eyeshot to the people in the diner.

 ***

“They’ve been gone for ages, somebody should check Betty’s okay” Kevin said after 5 minutes of waiting on edge for Betty to return,

“I can’t see them anymore, I’m going to see if she’s okay” Archie said in a panic

“Not so fast Bulldog” Toni said “For all we know that crazy blonde had pepper spayed him or some shit. I’m coming with you”

Archie and Toni barged each other to the door and darted down the steps, their respective friends staring on at them.

 ***

Jughead smiled against Bettys lips as she pinned him against the wall, pulling the elastic from her hair so he could run her blonde waves through his fingers. His hat was grasped in her hand while the other massaged his scalp. He let out a small moan when she bit his bottom lip and she giggled when he did it back. They were so caught up in each other they completely forgot about their friends waiting for them inside. That was until they heard the shocked gasps from Archie and Toni as they rounded the corner to see their two best friends in an intimate moment.

“What the fuck Betty!” Archie shouted as they leapt away from each other, Jughead’s beanie still in Betty’s hands. “Wait, I don’t understand?”

“Jones?” Toni asked, shocked “Why the fuck are you kissing a Northsider?”

Betty and Jughead just looked at each other, not knowing what to say.

“Well!”

“Arch, it’s not what it looks like, it’s-”

“Oh, so you weren’t just making out with Southside scum then?”

“You better watch yourself Archie” Jughead said, fist clenching before Betty stepped towards him and laced their fingers together.

“What the fuck are you doing Betty. Get away from him!” Archie was really losing it now, face turning bright red.

“You need to calm down Arch, you don’t know him like I do. Juggie isn’t scum”

Toni was still silent; casting disbelieving looks at Jughead. “How about we ask the others what they think about this” Archie said coldly.

Archie began to walk around the corner when Betty grabbed his wrist, tears in her eyes “Please Arch, you know what they’ll think about this! Come with me and I’ll explain everything to you I swear”

“I want answers too Jones.” Toni said angrily “But if we stay here any longer more people are just going to come out looking.”

“Fuck, okay, split up and all meet at the trailer. I promise we’ll explain everything there.” Jughead planned, fingers combing through his hair

“Please, Arch,” Betty said walking back towards Jughead and putting his beanie back on his head “Let us explain”

“Fine, let’s go” Archie said, expression unreadable

“Toni?” Jughead enquired

“Let’s get this over with, come on Jones.” Toni said, walking back around the corner with Jughead in tow.

Archie stood motionless, jaw clenched “Arch? Are you ok” Betty asked

He turned to look at her, brow furrowed “Why him Betty. Out of everyone, you chose him. A Southside Serpent”

“I’m sorry Archie, I really am but-“

“But nothing!” Archie exploded, “This is a war Elizabeth! Whose side are you on?”

Truthfully, she didn’t know anymore.

~ tbc ~

[fanficshiddles]

The last one blooming, Chapter 12

Rose had not long turned 13 when Odin and Frigga had something they had to tell Loki and Rose. Something they knew that neither of them were going to like.

‘What’s the matter?’ Loki asked as he went to see Odin and Frigga after being summoned there with Thor.

‘It is time for you both to do your duties as Prince of Asgard. It’s time for you to travel to the realms we are at peace with and take care of any business that is needing attended to.’ Odin said, carefully watching their reactions.

Thor beamed with happiness. He enjoyed going to the other realms. Loki, on the other hand, was not so happy.

‘But what about Rose? I can’t leave her. I’m not even Prince by blood.’ Loki said, slightly panicked.

‘You are Prince of Asgard, Loki. You always will be. We’ve been over this. I’m sorry, I know it will be difficult for you and Rose. But it needs to be done. Your mother and I survived time apart. If there was any other way, I would do it. But this is important for the realm.’ Odin said, his voice full of sorrow.

‘When do we have to leave?’ Loki asked sadly.

‘In two days’ time.’

‘Very well.’ Loki said as he looked down, trying to keep his emotions in check on front of his family.

He felt his heart tugging at the thought of leaving Rose though. Even though he knew deep down he had to.

‘While you are away, it will give Rose a chance to learn her duties as Princess. When you return, she will be of age or near of age. Which means you will get married not long after your return. I will make sure she is safe and cared for. I promise, Loki.’ Frigga said softly to her son as she gave him a hug.

Loki wasn’t sure how he was going to break the news to Rose. He knew she would be upset and he hated to see her sad.

When he went to her chambers he found her reading.

‘Hey, little one.’

She looked up and smiled when she saw him.

‘Hi, Loki! Can we go riding?’ She asked as she closed her book and jumped up to her feet.

‘Of course. But first I need to speak to you about something.’ Loki took her hand and they sat down on the bed.

‘What is it?’ Rose asked, worried.

‘As Prince, it is part of my duty to travel to Vanaheim and Midgard to see the people. We are at peace with those two realms. But in return I have to go with Thor to show face and help with any problems the realm may have.’

‘So, you’re going to Midgard?’

‘Yes. And Vanaheim.’ Loki nodded.

‘But it’s just for a few days… Right?’ Rose smiled.

Loki sighed as she shook his head. He took her hands into his.

‘I’m afraid not, little one. I will be gone for quite a long time.’ Loki said sadly.

‘A few weeks?’ Rose asked, frowning.

‘A few years.’

Rose’s eyes widened and her eyes started to water.

‘Don’t cry, sweetheart. Come here.’ He pulled her into a hug and cradled her head against him. ‘You will be so busy with school, and mother said she will start your Princess lessons soon as well. I will be back before you know it.’ Loki said softly.

‘Maybe a few years isn’t long for you. But it is for me. I’m still just a human.’ Rose cried.

‘Hey. Don’t speak about yourself like that. You know when you’re 25 you are getting immortality. And there’s nothing wrong being a Midgardian. I know it seems a long time, little one. But I will write to you every single week. The time will fly by… But I will miss you so much.’ Loki kissed the top of her head.

Loki and Rose went for a ride on their horses. Then the following day they spent most of the day out in the mountains with a picnic. Which was their favorite thing to do.

When they got back to the stables, Loki looked to Rose and handed her Gljásvartur’s reins.

‘I want you to look after Gljásvartur for me while I am away. Take him out for rides to keep him fit. Will you do that for me?’ He asked as he stroked the stallion’s neck.

‘I will. I promise.’ Rose said as she nodded enthusiastically.

‘That’s my girl.’ Loki smiled and ruffled her hair, making her laugh.

When Loki and Thor had to leave, Rose was really sad. But she tried to stay strong for Loki. She didn’t want to upset him too.

She went with Odin and Frigga to see them off at the Bifrost. Loki gave her a big hug and kissed her forehead. Promising her again that he would write to her every week.

As soon as Loki and Thor disappeared, Rose started to cry. Frigga hugged her tightly and reassured her that it was going to be ok.

Over the days, Rose rode Gljásvartur out each day. She either led Eir with them too or rode twice a day. She felt a comfort when she was with Gljásvartur, closer to Loki.

Freya spent lots of time with her, to keep her occupied too.

Even though Rose really missed Loki, she was ok and knew he would be back in a few years. It wasn’t going to be forever.

As promised, Loki wrote to her every week and she wrote back to him. She enjoyed hearing about his and Thor’s adventures on Vanaheim and Midgard. She told him about her lessons at school and how the horses were doing. She told him how she went to see the wolf family up in the mountains with Gljásvartur one day.

Loki smiled as he read another letter from Rose. She was 15 now.

He missed her more and more every day. He couldn’t wait to return to Asgard to see her.

‘She will be of age when we return.’ Thor said as he saw his brother with another letter.

‘I know. It will be weird.’ Loki smiled as he tucked the letter away into his pocket.

‘Has mother said when the wedding will be yet?’ Thor asked.

‘I’m not sure. She says perhaps when she turns 17.’

‘Are you going to wait until then?’ Thor asked, and Loki knew exactly what he meant.

‘I am not even thinking about that quite yet. She is still a child for another year.’ Loki grumbled.

‘Alright, alright.’ Thor chuckled and put his hands up in defence.

‘Let’s go find these omegas.’ Loki grumbled as he moved towards the door.

They were trying to help the omegas that had been abandoned as children, like Rose was. They managed to track down one of the homes where they went to. It was just a matter of finding them and getting them to safety.

Odin had organised with some people of Midgard to set up safe houses for the omega children. Where it was Betas that looked after them. So that’s where Loki and Thor were going to take the children to.

The Alphas had heard that they were coming, so they tried to hide the omegas in the basement, claiming there wasn’t any in the house. But Loki could smell the fear from the omegas, so it was easy for him to find a group of 7 of them, huddled together in the basement looking absolutely terrified.

It took a while for them to trust him and Thor, but they eventually managed to get them out and to the safe house. The Betas did their best to make sure they were comfortable and safe.

One of the omegas looked similar to Rose. The same kind eyes and similar features on her face. It made his heart hurt as he thought about his Rose back home on Asgard.

It was a few months later, word about Loki and Thor being on Midgard had quickly gotten around the place. They had lots of Midgardians come to them for help or guidance. Some just wanted to see them in person. It wasn’t often two gods visited the mortal realm after all.

But it was when a couple went to see them, that Loki felt his blood boil.

‘What can we help you with?’ Thor asked the couple.

‘We have been trying for a baby for a long time. For an Alpha. But we seem to be unlucky in this aspect. Is there anything you can help us with, to achieve our goal?’ The Alpha woman asked.

‘Well, unfortunately there isn’t really anything that even we can do for fertility. Have you had any children?’ Thor asked.

‘No.’ The woman said with a straight face.

‘Lies.’ Loki hissed.

The two looked at Loki, startled. Thor looked at Loki with confusion too.

Loki stood up and started to stalk towards the couple. As he got closer he could tell by their smell that his suspicions were correct. His eyes narrowed in on them and his nostrils flared angrily as he let out a growl.

‘Excuse me?’ The woman gasped as she tried to stand her ground and square up to the Asgardian Prince.

‘I am the god of lies. I know when one is lying. And YOU are just stinking of lies. You have indeed had a child before. Maybe even more than one.’

The woman looked slightly startled that he knew.

‘What?’ She asked. The man just stayed silent by his Alphas side.

‘You had a baby girl. But she was an omega. You think omegas are worthless to have as children. So you beat her up and abandoned her. Left her to rot on her own.’ Loki snapped and lunged towards her, but Thor grabbed Loki in time and managed to hold him back.

‘How the fuck do you know?’ The Alpha woman spat at Loki.

‘Don’t. Brother.’ Thor hissed to Loki, as he clicked on to who the couple was.

‘Because I can see right through you. You people disgust me.’ Loki shouted.

The woman and man just glared at Loki as they quickly backed away to leave. The woman couldn’t believe that Loki knew the truth.

Loki snapped his arm back from Thor’s grip. ‘It’s fine.’ He snapped at him.

‘If they find out that you are Rose’s mate, they may try and pull something. It’s best that they don’t know. Remember what father said, if they found out she was on another realm, they could claim for kidnapping.’ Thor whispered to Loki.

‘I know, brother. I am not stupid.’ Loki said sharply.

Although he was angry, he knew that Thor was just looking out for him. He was rather glad that Thor had stopped him from attacking the woman. It wouldn’t look good if the Prince of Asgard had killed a mortal… Not in public anyway.

That night, he waited until Thor was sound asleep. It would take an earthquake to wake Thor up. So Loki took that opportunity to sneak away.

He sought out where the man and woman lived and entered their home with ease. Using his Seidr, he stayed hidden as he went upstairs and found the couple in bed. Sound asleep.

His anger was raging. This was the Alpha that had beaten and abused his darling little Rose. The thought had him shaking with so much anger.

He took out his dagger and allowed his Seidr to drop as he put a sleeping spell over the omega male. He pressed the blade against the Alpha’s neck. She woke up suddenly but froze when she felt the sharp edge of the dagger against her neck.

‘Make a sound, or try anything and I will kill you.’ Loki snarled quietly.

The woman looked up at Loki with wide eyes. The smell of her fear was evident in the air and it made the adrenaline rush through Loki’s veins.

‘What do you want?’ She asked quietly.

‘You are Rose’s mother. Though I say mother lightly, as you are a despicable excuse of one. Tell me, how many more children have you had and abandoned?’ Loki asked, his teeth gritted as he tried to remain as calm as possible.

‘She was the only one.’ The woman said honestly. ‘How do you know?’

‘I am her Alpha.’ Loki growled, teeth bared.

The woman’s eyes widened in shock and wonder. She couldn’t believe it. Her daughter was the omega of a Prince. All of the possibilities rushed through her mind, but that didn’t go unnoticed by Loki.

‘You are never going to see her again. So don’t even think about getting any ideas. She deserves the world. And that’s what she is going to get. She is going to be Princess of Asgard, right by my side. While you are going to rot in hell.’ Loki said angrily as he pressed the blade against her neck, just about to pierce the skin.

‘Wait! Please… We have been looking for her. We were worried. She ran away, we didn’t chuck her out.’ The Alpha tried to reason.

But Loki just laughed and shook his head.

‘Even my brother wouldn’t believe you. And he is not the brightest of sparks. If that were true, you would have come to us asking for help to find her. No… People like you do not deserve to live.’

Thor woke up the following morning to find Loki already awake. He was cleaning one of his daggers.

‘What are you doing, brother?’ Thor asked.

Loki smirked as he responded. ‘Just cleaning my daggers. You never know when one may need them.’

[imagine-loki]

The last one blooming, Chapter 12

TITLE: The last one blooming

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 12

AUTHOR: fanficshiddles

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine that there is an omegaverse where Alphas and omegas can only bond with their true mate. Loki is an Alpha and he one day meets his omega. But she is a young Midgardian child, who is terrified of Alphas. So he has to work hard to gain her trust, to allow the bond to grow between the two.

RATING: M

Rose had not long turned 13 when Odin and Frigga had something they had to tell Loki and Rose. Something they knew that neither of them were going to like.

‘What’s the matter?’ Loki asked as he went to see Odin and Frigga after being summoned there with Thor.

‘It is time for you both to do your duties as Prince of Asgard. It’s time for you to travel to the realms we are at peace with and take care of any business that is needing attended to.’ Odin said, carefully watching their reactions.

Thor beamed with happiness. He enjoyed going to the other realms. Loki, on the other hand, was not so happy.

‘But what about Rose? I can’t leave her. I’m not even Prince by blood.’ Loki said, slightly panicked.

‘You are Prince of Asgard, Loki. You always will be. We’ve been over this. I’m sorry, I know it will be difficult for you and Rose. But it needs to be done. Your mother and I survived time apart. If there was any other way, I would do it. But this is important for the realm.’ Odin said, his voice full of sorrow.

‘When do we have to leave?’ Loki asked sadly.

‘In two days’ time.’

‘Very well.’ Loki said as he looked down, trying to keep his emotions in check on front of his family.

He felt his heart tugging at the thought of leaving Rose though. Even though he knew deep down he had to.

‘While you are away, it will give Rose a chance to learn her duties as Princess. When you return, she will be of age or near of age. Which means you will get married not long after your return. I will make sure she is safe and cared for. I promise, Loki.’ Frigga said softly to her son as she gave him a hug.

Loki wasn’t sure how he was going to break the news to Rose. He knew she would be upset and he hated to see her sad.

When he went to her chambers he found her reading.

‘Hey, little one.’

She looked up and smiled when she saw him.

‘Hi, Loki! Can we go riding?’ She asked as she closed her book and jumped up to her feet.

‘Of course. But first I need to speak to you about something.’ Loki took her hand and they sat down on the bed.

‘What is it?’ Rose asked, worried.

‘As Prince, it is part of my duty to travel to Vanaheim and Midgard to see the people. We are at peace with those two realms. But in return I have to go with Thor to show face and help with any problems the realm may have.’

‘So, you’re going to Midgard?’

‘Yes. And Vanaheim.’ Loki nodded.

‘But it’s just for a few days… Right?’ Rose smiled.

Loki sighed as she shook his head. He took her hands into his.

‘I’m afraid not, little one. I will be gone for quite a long time.’ Loki said sadly.

‘A few weeks?’ Rose asked, frowning.

‘A few years.’

Rose’s eyes widened and her eyes started to water.

‘Don’t cry, sweetheart. Come here.’ He pulled her into a hug and cradled her head against him. ‘You will be so busy with school, and mother said she will start your Princess lessons soon as well. I will be back before you know it.’ Loki said softly.

‘Maybe a few years isn’t long for you. But it is for me. I’m still just a human.’ Rose cried.

‘Hey. Don’t speak about yourself like that. You know when you’re 25 you are getting immortality. And there’s nothing wrong being a Midgardian. I know it seems a long time, little one. But I will write to you every single week. The time will fly by… But I will miss you so much.’ Loki kissed the top of her head.

Loki and Rose went for a ride on their horses. Then the following day they spent most of the day out in the mountains with a picnic. Which was their favorite thing to do.

When they got back to the stables, Loki looked to Rose and handed her Gljásvartur’s reins.

‘I want you to look after Gljásvartur for me while I am away. Take him out for rides to keep him fit. Will you do that for me?’ He asked as he stroked the stallion’s neck.

‘I will. I promise.’ Rose said as she nodded enthusiastically.

‘That’s my girl.’ Loki smiled and ruffled her hair, making her laugh.

When Loki and Thor had to leave, Rose was really sad. But she tried to stay strong for Loki. She didn’t want to upset him too.

She went with Odin and Frigga to see them off at the Bifrost. Loki gave her a big hug and kissed her forehead. Promising her again that he would write to her every week.

As soon as Loki and Thor disappeared, Rose started to cry. Frigga hugged her tightly and reassured her that it was going to be ok.

Over the days, Rose rode Gljásvartur out each day. She either led Eir with them too or rode twice a day. She felt a comfort when she was with Gljásvartur, closer to Loki.

Freya spent lots of time with her, to keep her occupied too.

Even though Rose really missed Loki, she was ok and knew he would be back in a few years. It wasn’t going to be forever.

As promised, Loki wrote to her every week and she wrote back to him. She enjoyed hearing about his and Thor’s adventures on Vanaheim and Midgard. She told him about her lessons at school and how the horses were doing. She told him how she went to see the wolf family up in the mountains with Gljásvartur one day.

Loki smiled as he read another letter from Rose. She was 15 now.

He missed her more and more every day. He couldn’t wait to return to Asgard to see her.

‘She will be of age when we return.’ Thor said as he saw his brother with another letter.

‘I know. It will be weird.’ Loki smiled as he tucked the letter away into his pocket.

‘Has mother said when the wedding will be yet?’ Thor asked.

‘I’m not sure. She says perhaps when she turns 17.’

‘Are you going to wait until then?’ Thor asked, and Loki knew exactly what he meant.

‘I am not even thinking about that quite yet. She is still a child for another year.’ Loki grumbled.

‘Alright, alright.’ Thor chuckled and put his hands up in defence.

‘Let’s go find these omegas.’ Loki grumbled as he moved towards the door.

They were trying to help the omegas that had been abandoned as children, like Rose was. They managed to track down one of the homes where they went to. It was just a matter of finding them and getting them to safety.

Odin had organised with some people of Midgard to set up safe houses for the omega children. Where it was Betas that looked after them. So that’s where Loki and Thor were going to take the children to.

The Alphas had heard that they were coming, so they tried to hide the omegas in the basement, claiming there wasn’t any in the house. But Loki could smell the fear from the omegas, so it was easy for him to find a group of 7 of them, huddled together in the basement looking absolutely terrified.

It took a while for them to trust him and Thor, but they eventually managed to get them out and to the safe house. The Betas did their best to make sure they were comfortable and safe.

One of the omegas looked similar to Rose. The same kind eyes and similar features on her face. It made his heart hurt as he thought about his Rose back home on Asgard.

It was a few months later, word about Loki and Thor being on Midgard had quickly gotten around the place. They had lots of Midgardians come to them for help or guidance. Some just wanted to see them in person. It wasn’t often two gods visited the mortal realm after all.

But it was when a couple went to see them, that Loki felt his blood boil.

‘What can we help you with?’ Thor asked the couple.

‘We have been trying for a baby for a long time. For an Alpha. But we seem to be unlucky in this aspect. Is there anything you can help us with, to achieve our goal?’ The Alpha woman asked.

‘Well, unfortunately there isn’t really anything that even we can do for fertility. Have you had any children?’ Thor asked.

‘No.’ The woman said with a straight face.

‘Lies.’ Loki hissed.

The two looked at Loki, startled. Thor looked at Loki with confusion too.

Loki stood up and started to stalk towards the couple. As he got closer he could tell by their smell that his suspicions were correct. His eyes narrowed in on them and his nostrils flared angrily as he let out a growl.

‘Excuse me?’ The woman gasped as she tried to stand her ground and square up to the Asgardian Prince.

‘I am the god of lies. I know when one is lying. And YOU are just stinking of lies. You have indeed had a child before. Maybe even more than one.’

The woman looked slightly startled that he knew.

‘What?’ She asked. The man just stayed silent by his Alphas side.

‘You had a baby girl. But she was an omega. You think omegas are worthless to have as children. So you beat her up and abandoned her. Left her to rot on her own.’ Loki snapped and lunged towards her, but Thor grabbed Loki in time and managed to hold him back.

‘How the fuck do you know?’ The Alpha woman spat at Loki.

‘Don’t. Brother.’ Thor hissed to Loki, as he clicked on to who the couple was.

‘Because I can see right through you. You people disgust me.’ Loki shouted.

The woman and man just glared at Loki as they quickly backed away to leave. The woman couldn’t believe that Loki knew the truth.

Loki snapped his arm back from Thor’s grip. ‘It’s fine.’ He snapped at him.

‘If they find out that you are Rose’s mate, they may try and pull something. It’s best that they don’t know. Remember what father said, if they found out she was on another realm, they could claim for kidnapping.’ Thor whispered to Loki.

‘I know, brother. I am not stupid.’ Loki said sharply.

Although he was angry, he knew that Thor was just looking out for him. He was rather glad that Thor had stopped him from attacking the woman. It wouldn’t look good if the Prince of Asgard had killed a mortal… Not in public anyway.

That night, he waited until Thor was sound asleep. It would take an earthquake to wake Thor up. So Loki took that opportunity to sneak away.

He sought out where the man and woman lived and entered their home with ease. Using his Seidr, he stayed hidden as he went upstairs and found the couple in bed. Sound asleep.

His anger was raging. This was the Alpha that had beaten and abused his darling little Rose. The thought had him shaking with so much anger.

He took out his dagger and allowed his Seidr to drop as he put a sleeping spell over the omega male. He pressed the blade against the Alpha’s neck. She woke up suddenly but froze when she felt the sharp edge of the dagger against her neck.

‘Make a sound, or try anything and I will kill you.’ Loki snarled quietly.

The woman looked up at Loki with wide eyes. The smell of her fear was evident in the air and it made the adrenaline rush through Loki’s veins.

‘What do you want?’ She asked quietly.

‘You are Rose’s mother. Though I say mother lightly, as you are a despicable excuse of one. Tell me, how many more children have you had and abandoned?’ Loki asked, his teeth gritted as he tried to remain as calm as possible.

‘She was the only one.’ The woman said honestly. ‘How do you know?’

‘I am her Alpha.’ Loki growled, teeth bared.

The woman’s eyes widened in shock and wonder. She couldn’t believe it. Her daughter was the omega of a Prince. All of the possibilities rushed through her mind, but that didn’t go unnoticed by Loki.

‘You are never going to see her again. So don’t even think about getting any ideas. She deserves the world. And that’s what she is going to get. She is going to be Princess of Asgard, right by my side. While you are going to rot in hell.’ Loki said angrily as he pressed the blade against her neck, just about to pierce the skin.

‘Wait! Please… We have been looking for her. We were worried. She ran away, we didn’t chuck her out.’ The Alpha tried to reason.

But Loki just laughed and shook his head.

‘Even my brother wouldn’t believe you. And he is not the brightest of sparks. If that were true, you would have come to us asking for help to find her. No… People like you do not deserve to live.’

Thor woke up the following morning to find Loki already awake. He was cleaning one of his daggers.

‘What are you doing, brother?’ Thor asked.

Loki smirked as he responded. ‘Just cleaning my daggers. You never know when one may need them.’

[starrnobella]

Forever and Always - Chapter 16 - Thoughts, Plans, and Schemes

Catch up here:  Fanfiction | AO3 | Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15

A/N: Hello my loves, I’m sorry this took longer than expected to get out to you and I’m sorry if it’s a bit confusing. This chapter was basically a half and half chapter. I wrote part of it during NaNoWriMo in November and the other part of it in Camp NaNo in April. Hopefully after this chapter things start to make a little more sense. 

There is still a lot left to this story even though I have 12 more chapters pre-written. The ending that I was planning for this story will eventually happen, but I am starting to realize that just an epilogue won’t cover the pieces that I still need to address so that means it looks like there will be sequel to this at some point. Although not for a while. 

Song Recommendations:  Raise Hell - Dorothy; Something Just Like This - The Chainsmokers; I Knew You Were Trouble When You Walked In - Princeton Footnotes

If you have enjoyed the chapter, please consider leaving a review! School year is getting ready to start which means my life is becoming a million times busier, but I promise to keep writing!

Love always,  ~starr

The internal battle raging inside her head was not allowing Zelena to fall asleep that night. She needed to know if Robin could be brought back from the dead. The untimely death that he had fallen a victim to because of her. She laid in bed tossing back and forth as the thoughts played through her mind. The guilt was becoming too much for her to bear.

The Evil Queen sat in the chair opposite the bed just watching her toss back and forth. A wicked smile grew on her face. She knew that the possibility of her abilities was what her beloved sister was wrestling with. Yes, it was true, she could bring Robin back to life with a little help, but why would she do something that would give Regina a happy ending? The whole point of her evil scheme was to take away the happy endings, not assist in bringing them to life.

Suddenly, Zelena shot straight up in bed. She couldn't take it anymore. She had to know the truth. No matter what it cost her.

"Couldn't sleep?" the Evil Queen cooed, studying her nails, waiting for Zelena to say something.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" Zelena barked.

"I could hear you tossing and turning, so I decided to come watch the show. Something you want to tell me?" she said sweetly with a grin upon her face.

"I'll help you destroy the happy endings...on one condition," Zelena said firmly.

"What condition is that?" the Evil Queen replied.

"Bring Robin back," Zelena responded.

"Why the hell would I do that? The whole point of this is to destroy the happy endings. Bringing him back would just give Regina hers!" the Evil Queen shouted, throwing her hands up into the air and rising from her seat.

"Because, regardless of the outcome, I want my daughter to know her father," Zelena confirmed, crossing her arms over her chest. "That's the deal. If you want me on your side, then you have to bring him back."

The Evil Queen rolled her eyes. If she gave in on this demand, then it could be the only one that she couldn't allow anyone else to try and make deals. If she didn't stand firm on this, then it would mean she would have to make deals with Rumplestiltskin, something she was already dreading, but his magic was greater than her's and Zelena's combined.

"What if I promise to bring him back after I take away the happy endings?" the Evil Queen hinted, hoping to maintain the upper hand.

Zelena shook her head. "He needs to come back before for the sake of my daughter. I need to be able to leave her with someone while I go off and raise hell with you."

The Evil Queen huffed. "Fine. It will take some time."

"Until he's alive, I won't help you with anything, but you can continue to stay here," Zelena replied, leaning back against her pillow. "Now, please go. I'd like to get a few hours of sleep before Robin wakes up."

"As you wish," the Evil Queen said as she walked out of the room. She needed to gather the materials necessary to raise someone from the dead and it wasn't going to be an easy shopping trip, at least here in Storybrooke. If she were back in the Enchanted Forest, then it may have been slightly easier. She rolled her eyes as she went back to the room she had been staying in.

. . . . . . . .

Emma awoke the next morning surprisingly well rested. It was the first night in a week that she had been able to sleep the whole way through the night without the nightmares jarring her awake. She looked over at Killian who was fast asleep and smiled. Her knight in shining armor, always there when she needed him.

As she yawned, she decided to run to the restroom to freshen up before he woke up. She brushed her teeth quickly and splashed a little bit of water onto her face. Then, she walked back into the bedroom and curled up beside the sleeping pirate. She placed a soft kiss on his neck as she snuggled in close.

He had felt the bed shift when she climbed out, but he didn't know that she had returned until he felt her soft kisses on his neck. He smiled as he wrapped his arms tight around her, pulling her in close.

"Good morning, love," he said, kissing the top of her head.

She moaned softly and stretched, pretending to have just woken up. "Good morning."

He laughed internally at her sad attempt, but he decided to play along for a little while.

She leaned up enough on her elbows, placing a chaste kiss upon his lips. As she started to pull away, he pulled her back in, causing her to collapse against his chest as he crashed his lips into hers, deepening the kiss. She melted into his embrace as he held her tighter, sliding his tongue against hers softly. She brought her arms up to wrap them around his neck as they kissed.

As she wrapped her arms around his neck, Killian took advantage of the position to flip them over, so she was lying against the bed with his body flesh to hers. The thought of their first sword fight crossed his mind. The corners of his lips turned up into a smirk at the thoughts.

Emma: I had no idea you had such a soft side.

Killian: I don't. I like a fair fight. Good form, but not good enough. Normally, I prefer to do other more enjoyable activities with a woman on her back. With my life on the line, you've left me no choice. A bit of advice, when I jab you with my sword you will feel it. You might wanna quit.

Emma: Why would I do that when I'm winning?

Breaking the kiss for only a few intentional moments, Killian looked down at the beautiful woman lying beneath him. He smiled as he thought about the ring was safely hidden away in one of his chests in the closet.

"What are you smiling at?" Emma asked, studying his face and all of the small details of his face. Her favorite feature was probably his beard. It was just full enough to give him a distinguished look, but it wasn't overly fluffy that it got in the way of other things.

"You," he replied, pressing his lips to hers and ran his hand along her arm. She wrapped her arms around his neck as her tongue glided along his bottom lip, requesting access to come inside to play. A request he was more than willing to oblige.

He trailed his hand along the hem of her shirt, using his hook, he began to slide it up over her stomach until it came to rest just above the swell of her breasts. Once the shirt was out of his way, he cupped her right breast and slid the cold metal of his hook over the left, careful to avoid her hardening bud. Emma moaned, arching her back in an attempt to brush her chest against his. He could tell she was desperate to feel his body against hers.

Slowly, she slid her hands from his neck down the length of his torso only stopping at his waistband, slipping her hand inside. Gently, she brushed her fingers along his hardening length which was just begging to be released from it's confines.

Her teasing strokes led Killian to break the kiss long enough to pull her shirt over her head. Once the intruding fabric was out of the way, he started trailing kisses along her jawline and down her neck. A majority of the kisses remained in the crook of her neck where he was fluttering kisses and nibbling on the overly sensitive skin, eliciting the exact reaction from her he was looking for.

"Killian," she moaned, tilting her head back, giving him even more access to her neck. She could feel him smile against her skin as he continued his trail down her body. The scruff of his beard added extra jolts of electricity flowing through her body.

Reaching her breasts, he placed kisses all over her breasts only to avoid the place she wanted him to kiss most. As soon as she wasn't expecting it, he flicked his tongue over the bud before slipping it between his lips, tugging on it gently eliciting a melody of moans from his beloved's lips.

"Killian," she moaned again, loudly, and arched her back. He smirked as he looked up at her, allowing his blue eyes to meet her green ones.

"Yes, love?" he hummed.

"Fuck me," she moaned softly.

"Anything you desire, love," he told her before coming up to capture her lips in his and removing the last of her clothing as she reached to remove his as well.

. . . . . . . .

As morning dawned on the Charming household, Snow and Charming were sitting down to a fresh homemade breakfast.

"How long do you think Hook will make us wait?" Charming asked, taking a bite of his pancakes.

"As long as he wants," Snow laughed. "It's his proposal."

Charming sighed. "I'm just anxious, I guess."

"I can tell," Snow smiled. "These are delicious by the way."

"Thank you. We should have had everyone sleepover last night and had a big family breakfast this morning," Charming suggested.

"As much fun as that would have been, I don't think Emma, Killian, and Regina would have liked sleeping on the floor," Snow replied with a laugh.

"I just think it would be nice to have the family all together for breakfast," Charming insisted.

"You just don't want to think about what Emma and Killian may have gone home to do last night," Snow snickered as Charming shrugged and rolled his eyes at her. "Or what they decided to do this morning."

"Why do you have to put these thoughts in my head?" he complained, scrubbing his hands over his face. Snow laughed and almost spit out her coffee.

"Because it bothers you so much," she mocked, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Did Emma seem a little off to you last night?" Charming asked, finishing the last few bites of his breakfast. Snow looked at him puzzled, setting her fork down on the table.

"Not to me, why? Is something wrong?" she asked concerned.

"I don't know. It was just something Regina said to her yesterday while we were on our way back from seeing Jekyll didn't sit right with me, even though Emma said everything was fine," Charming answered.

"If she says it was fine, then it's best to just believe her. She'll tell us if something is wrong," Snow assured him. Unfortunately, she knew her daughter was good at keeping secrets. She just hoped that this wouldn't be a secret that became a burden Emma had to bear on her own.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he replied, leaning over and kissing her softly on the cheek. "We both need to head out the door soon. You've got school today."

"Indeed, I do," Snow smiled. She was very excited to be heading back to a classroom after a very long time away.

. . . . . . . .

"Henry! Let's go! You've got school," Regina called from the bottom of the stairs, waiting impatiently for her son to be ready to leave. She hadn't gotten much sleep last night. In fact, when she came in from her chat with the Evil Queen she drank an entire pot of coffee trying to figure out a way to defeat her that didn't involve killing herself.

Robin had been trying to communicate with her, but she didn't read what he had to say. She knew that he would tell her not to worry and they would figure things out together, but she couldn't figure out how the hell he would help her if he still a ghost. She felt guilty for not listening to what he had to say, but everything was just too complicated.

Hearing footsteps coming down the hall above her, Regina let out a sigh of relief. It really wouldn't look good if the son of the Mayor, who is also the son of the Sheriff was late to school on a Monday morning.

"Finally," she laughed, placing a hand on his shoulder as he met her at the bottom of the stairs. "What took so long?"

Henry shrugged. "Just wanted to look my best for Grandma's first day back."

Regina chuckled softly, shaking her head. "No, you wanted to look your best for Violet. Just admit it."

Henry blushed, looking down at his shoes. "Maybe."

"Alright, off you go or we'll both be late," she said, pushing him towards the door.

It was going to be a long day of research at the office while she waited for Emma to have her little chat with Jekyll. Without the name of the young lady the necklace was meant to be gifted to, they could not do anything with it for the time being. Other than research, her only other options for things to do today were to go and check in on her sister or try to have a reasonable conversation with Mr. Gold. The latter she knew to be highly unlikely to happen. She also had no desire to go and see her sister, but it had to be done at some unfortunate point. However, it could wait another day or so.

. . . . . . . .

A few miles away at the farmhouse, a cloud of red smoke appeared on the front porch followed by a loud knocking at the door which not only woke up Zelena, but Robin and the Evil Queen as well.

"Who the hell is that?" the Evil Queen hissed, storming out of her room.

"Probably someone for you," Zelena snapped back. "Go answer the door. I have to get Robin."

The Evil Queen rolled her eyes. She hated having to do the work of peasant, but she did it anyways because she didn't exactly have much of a choice. She was pleasantly surprised by the person she found standing on the other side of the door.

"Hello, Dark One," she hummed. "What brings you here, especially so early?"

She waltzed away from the door towards the table, taking a seat. With the flick of her wrist, three tea cups appeared followed shortly by a teapot and sugar bowl. She poured herself a drink and offered a seat beside her to the Dark One.

"I think you know why I'm here," he replied snidely, sitting down at the table with her and poured some tea.

The Evil Queen smiled wickedly. Music to her ears. First Zelena and now the Dark One. The Savior stands no chance.

"Delightful," she said raising her glass to him as they toasted to the new team.

. . . . . . .

Scanning the bedroom for the last place she had seen them, Emma finally was able to locate her panties that somehow managed to land halfway across the room from the bed due to her and Killian's little escapade this morning. By the time the couple had gotten out of the shower and glanced at a clock this morning, she realized that they were going to be late for work.

Killian watched her rush about the room with a smile on his face. He was sated by their tryst this morning, since it had been awhile since their last morning where they could afford to sleep in. Normally, they were always rushing about trying to get out the door and into the office.

"Love, relax. You're the Sheriff. The day doesn't start until you get to the office," Killian called from the closet doorway as he leaned up against the frame, arms crossed as he watched her still.

"Do you want to explain to my dad why I wasn't in at my normal time this morning?" she questioned, raising her brow in his direction as she shimmied into her jeans.

"He has to have some idea by now. You are a grown woman, after all," Killian replied with a laugh.

"Knowing and wanting to think about it are two different things," she replied coyly. "My mother doesn't mind thinking about it for the very reason you said. Dad, on the other hand, does not want to think about it. It weirds him out for some reason."

Killian laughed to himself. He could understand Dave's reasoning for not wanting to think about it. Emma was his daughter and he did not want to think about a pirate who had been around the block a time or two ravishing her. As he thought about his own future children, he wasn't liking the idea of his potential daughters hanging out with boys who were anything like he was at that age. Quickly, he shoved those thoughts out his mind as Emma approached where he was standing.

"I need in here," she said, stopping directly in front of him.

"Pay the toll," he quipped. She rolled her eyes before placing a soft kiss on his lips. Killian tried to deepen it, but she pulled away too quickly.

"I've paid, now let me through," she laughed.

Killian sighed, but stepped aside allowing her access. He would have loved to stay in bed for just a few hours longer this morning, but then he wouldn't have minded dragging the shower out a little longer as well.

She grabbed her shoes from the closet and headed for the door of their bedroom. She turned around slowly and smiled at him before heading downstairs.

"Coming into the office with me today?" she asked.

Killian nodded.

"Then let's go," she said waving her arm and pulled her shoes on quickly before heading out the door. "We're stopping at Granny's for coffee this morning."

She sent a quick text off to Charming to let him know that they were at least on their way and not still asleep this morning.

Emma: Woke up late. Grabbing coffee at Granny's and will be in soon.

Charming laughed as he read the message. As much as he hoped that she really was just running late, he knew better. He had decided that since Emma was running a wee bit late that he didn't have to rush out the door any time soon.

"Don't you have to get to the office?" Snow asked, walking from their bedroom into the kitchen.

He nodded. "But Emma and Hook are running late, so I figured it wouldn't hurt if I was a little late as well."

"I see. Well, I've got to run. Can't have the teacher being late for her first day back," she said, placing a quick kiss on his cheek, "I'll see you later!"

"Have a good day. Love you," he called, watching her walk hastily out the front door.

"Love you too!" she replied.

Looking at the clock one more time, Charming decided that it was time for him to get his lazy ass into the office, especially if Emma and Hook were on their way to Granny's for coffee when Emma had texted him. After quickly cleaning up the kitchen, he was on his way out the door with Neal to drop him off with the Blue Fairy.

. . . . . . .

Coffee and pastries in hand, Emma and Killian walked into the Sheriff's office to find it empty.

"And I was worried about him freaking out because we were late," Emma sighed, setting the bag from Granny's down on her desk and pulling out her chair before collapsing into it with a huff.

Killian laughed. "Just means we don't have to explain ourselves."

"Very true," Emma nodded. "So what are you two going to do while I go talk to Jekyll today?"

"Whatever Dave suggests probably," Killian replied with a shrug

"What about me?" Charming said, walking in the door, "Sorry, I'm late. I had to take Neal to Blue."

"That's alright, mate," Killian said. "We actually just got in a few minutes ago ourselves."

Emma nodded in agreement. "Mom excited to be headed back to school today?"

"I think so. She didn't really say too much about it before she left this morning," Charming replied with a shrug. "So what's the plan for today?"

"I'm going to try and get Jekyll to talk to me," Emma answered. "I'm not sure what you two want to do."

Killian and Charming both looked at each other. They would figure something out, they always did. Then the idea struck Killian.

"We could go check in on Belle," Killian suggested.

"Belle? As in Gold's wife, who was asleep in a box the last time I checked," Charming asked puzzled.

Killian nodded. "Aye, but now she's awake and living on my ship."

"When did all this happen?" Charming asked, looking between Emma and Killian hoping for some kind of an explanation.

"About two days ago," Emma said, scratching her head.

"And you didn't think about mentioning this yesterday?" Charming almost shouted. He hadn't meant to, but it just seemed to happen that way.

"Uhm, I didn't cross my mind?" Emma said with a shrug. "We were so focused on finding Hyde or Jekyll that I never thought about it."

Charming sighed. He couldn't blame them for not telling him. It had been a crazy day yesterday. Even he had forgotten to mention to Snow about what they found with the necklace. Although, Belle being awake is kind of a big deal and something that the Deputy Sheriff should be made aware of.

"So how long has she been awake?" Charming asked slowly as his brain wrapped around the information he had just been told.

"Two days," Emma answered.

Charming nodded his head. The shock evident on his face, but he attempted to push it aside for the time being.

"She's on the run from the crocodile," Killian chimed in. "Apparently, their unborn child is the one who woke her up."

"So Regina and I took her to Killian's ship the other night and put up a few protection spells so that she can live there," Emma told him.

"Speaking of protection spells, do we need to do anything special to get past them?" Killian asked, turning to Emma.

She shook her head. "The only person who can't get through the spell is Gold. In fact, he won't be able to see where you are headed if he were to follow you down to the docks."

Killian nodded. "Well, Dave, ready to go see the lass?"

Charming nodded and gave Emma a quick hug before grabbing a cup of coffee and a pastry on his way to the door. Killian walked over to Emma and gave her a quick kiss goodbye before the two were off.

As Killian and Charming were walking towards the docks, Charming was still trying to wrap his head around the information he been given about Belle. There were two words that Emma had said that seemed to repeat themselves over and over in his head.

"You ran into her before you came to the apartment to ask for Emma's hand, didn't you?" Charming asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Aye, she was frightened, too. Has anyone seen the crocodile since she returned?" Killian asked.

The longer he thought about it, the more concerned he became. Gold in his normal mood was rather terrible. No one needed to see what he was like when something he wanted was taken away from him and he was in a foul mood. A mood that Killian had been unfortunate enough to experience first hand.

Charming and Killian pondered what had been said momentarily before speaking at the same time. "Maybe we should go check on Gold."

The pair laughed at their like mindedness before heading towards the Pawn Shop. The one place that they figured would be easiest to find the infamous Mr. Gold. A man who could easily hide if he didn't want to be found.

"Gold," Killian called, entering the shop followed close behind by Charming.

"Rumplestiltskin," Charming said walking along the display case trying to see if maybe he was hidden behind one of them.

Finding nothing, they looked at each other and then decided to head for the back room. The worst that could happen was that Gold would get pissed at them for being back there. Somewhere in the back of their minds they hoped that Gold loved Belle enough not to hurt the people who had been so willing to help her when she needed it most.

. . . . . . . .

Emma stared at her computer screen, scrolling through the results of a simple internet search about bringing people back from an obliterated state. Everything that she had seen on the first five pages said that it was completely impossible and she was crazy for even thinking that it could be done, but she kept looking. She had to keep her promise of bringing everyone their happy endings, and that included Regina. She owed Regina that much, especially if her visions were any indication of her fate. She shook off the feeling and continued into the deep mysterious space that was the internet.

Meanwhile, locked away in her office, Regina kept scrolling through the pages of the website she had found the night before about the magical powers that Saviors can hold. Emma was the product of true love, so that would mean her visions could be caused by that magic as well. It was a complicated topic to try and break down for searches, but this site was proving so far to be informative. Hopefully she would have something to tell Emma about soon.

. . . . . . . .

Everything in her classroom was set up and ready to go, all she needed now were the students to come in and take their seats. Nothing in the world could ruin this day for her. It was the first time in years that she had been so excited to be back in a school.

Everything was perfect until the principal came walking into the room. She wasn't expecting him to make an appearance after she stopped in his office this morning on her way in.

"Mr. Spencer, to what do I owe this visit to?" she asked nervously, walking over to greet him at the door to her classroom.

"I forgot to tell you about the new group of students who have been added to the school. With the new influx of inhabitants of town, there came a new influx of students attending our school," he replied.

Snow let out a small sigh of relief. She was happy to hear that nothing was actually wrong. After many months of fighting the dark side, it was going to be a nice change of pace for a change.

"Oh, okay. Thank you. I probably would have been a little confused when the class started coming in and I saw kids that I didn't know," she answered cheerfully.

"No problem, Mrs. Nolan. Have a good day," he said, turning on his heels to walk out of her classroom.

Shortly after he left, she heard footsteps coming into her classroom. She turned around from her desk and a smile grew on her face when she saw her grandson entering the room.

"Henry! What are you doing here?" she asked delighted to see him as she walked over to give him a hug.

"I wanted to come and wish you luck on your first day back to school," he replied.

"Thank you. I appreciate it. Ready for your day?" Snow asked excitedly.

Henry nodded. "I'm actually headed from here to go find Violet before the bell rings."

"Alright. Tell her I said hello. If you're interested, you can swing by the apartment for dinner tonight," she said before he walked away.

"Will do. Thanks Grandma," he called as he headed back out the door.

"Let the games begin," she whispered to herself just second before the bell rang to start her day.

. . . . . . . .

Emma had arrived at the blimp and as she approached she could hear Jekyll talking to someone, but she couldn't figure out who it was. It sounded as though they were arguing about something important. She wasn't sure if she should let him know that she was outside and could hear them, or just to listen on from the outside.

"I sent them away. Why won't you leave me alone?" Jekyll hissed.

"That doesn't mean they won't come back," the mystery voice replied. "Besides it's not like you were very convincing."

"I'll deal with them if they come back. The only one we need to worry about is the Evil Queen."

"That isn't the Evil Queen. That's a wanna-be."

"Emma isn't so bad. She was really quite nice."

"She's weak. She's no help to us. Her powers are starting to cause her problems."

Emma's jaw dropped. She needed to know who the mystery voice belonged to and what he knew about her magic. Maybe he could explain to her what was causing the visions. It seemed as though he already knew that she was suffering from them. It was time for her to make herself known whether the mysterious voice wanted to speak to her or not.

"Jekyll," she called, nearing the door.

"What is she doing here?" the mystery voice hissed angrily.

"I don't know," Jekyll whispered before he walked outside of the blimp. "Emma, what are you doing here?"

"I came to see if you would talk to just me," she replied, trying to look over Jekyll's shoulder. "Who's your friend?"

"Oh, that's no one you need to worry about. What did you want to talk to me about?" Jekyll insisted.

"The necklace that we brought back here yesterday and who it was supposed to be given to, and where she happens to be right now. Are you sure I shouldn't meet your friend?" Emma replied, quirking her brow.

Hyde was listening intently to the conversation going on outside. Now was not the time to reveal himself because he knew what would happen. He would be taken in where he would be locked up for a very long time for threatening the livelihood of this small town. He didn't even want the town, but he knew it was the only way he could get the information he wanted from the Dark One.

Jekyll looked back over his shoulders nervously. "Let's go somewhere else and talk. He wants to be left alone right now."

"Lead the way," Emma replied and the pair was off.

Hyde couldn't decide whether or not he should follow them or not. Part of him wanted to tag along so that he could hear what they were talking about, but the other part knew that Jekyll wouldn't actually talk to her if he were hovering in the background, listening to every word he said. So he decided that he would stay here and contemplate his next move would be.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" a feminine voice hummed from the shadows.

"Who is there?" Hyde boomed, looking from side to side in the room trying to find out the source of the voice.

"An old friend, my dear," she remarked, walking out into the light where he could see her.

"Hello, your majesty. To what do I do the pleasure?" he asked, rolling his eyes at the dramatic flair she always seemed to put on her entrances to a room.

"Can't an old friend just come to visit one of her dearest friends?" she said sweetly.

"You don't pay visits without a reason," Hyde insisted

The Evil Queen cackled. He wasn't wrong in that matter. She and Rumplestiltskin had that in common. Everything they did had a reasoning behind it. They also never did anything for free. There was always some kind of a fee paid by both parties. They just usually seemed to luck out in the end and never had to pay up on their end of the deal.

"Smart man," she replied. "I came to see if you wanted to join my team to go up against the enemy."

"Why would I join forces with you? What could you possibly offer me?" he scoffed.

He didn't believe a word that she was about to say. There was no reason to trust the motives of the Evil Queen. He had been burned many times by the woman in the past and he wasn't about to be burnt by her again. He would hear her out, but there would be no teaming up with the wicked woman.

"Because you might be interested in the other people who have chosen to team up with me," she hissed, waving her hand. Appearing inside the blimp was the rest of her wicked team, Zelena and the infamous Dark One.

"Why do I care about them?" Hyde hissed as he looked over the motley crew that had magically appeared in his lovely abode.

"I prefer to use my own magic to travel," Gold growled at the Evil Queen, who just looked at him and laughed before turning her attention back to Hyde.

"Because together we can all get what we want most," she hummed, crossing her arms over her chest.

Zelena was idly standing by as she vaguely heard what they three of them were discussing. Her mind was still focused on the brief conversation she and the Evil Queen had had the evening before. She was also quite sure that Regina would have a few select words to say to her about the entire situation if she didn't say something to her about it all soon.

She was quickly drawn out of her thoughts when the Evil Queen formed a fireball in her hand that she was threatening to throw at Mr. Gold. Rolling her eyes, she stepped in between the pair of them.

"That's enough," she said shaking her head. "Fighting with each other won't solve anything. And if I'm being honest, throwing a fireball at the Dark One will just make your life hell. So can we please figure out what our plan is going to be somewhere other than a place where the Savior is lurking around just nearby?"

The Evil Queen huffed. "Fine."

Turning to glare at Mr. Gold she spoke again, "Do you want me to do it or would you rather travel on your own?"

"Just get on with it," he huffed.

With the flick of her wrist the four of them were gone in a cloud of purple smoke.

[kur0kvmi]

Sensei Am I a Light Novel Author Yet? XXX Climax Chapter 1

The sky always bored me. Draped in clouds, awash in the blood red sunset, or painted blue from a previous day of constant rain. In all its forms, in all it’s various cosmetic differences. The sky… It always bored me. There are countless stories of young souls reaching towards the great blue yonder, hoping for a future that can wash away the sadness, loneliness and frivolity of the hum drum lives they see in front of them. The spring fountain of youth, the legendary tale of evolution and self actualization. Yet… to me, the sky represents none of that. Just a barrier, only reachable through the mind, through the imagination. I think that’s why I want nothing to do with it”

Haruta wrote those words down on a notepad during class in his seat sat adjacent to the window. He’d reconfigure a few words, and try and come out with a different tone, however the words that flowed within him always lead to the same conclusion. He was no stranger to the constant sting of apathy that plagued most boys his age, however, for him it was less a lack of concern for the world around him, and more a lack of of his surroundings, which reflected back as a stern and cold demeanour. The world was meaningless. Not because he couldn’t find his place within it, but because his place wasn’t what he felt it should be.

Holy fucking shit what the hell was all that, where the fuck is the anime shit, isn’t that what light novels are supposed to be? Like glorified screenplays for shitty anime? Ok, so, this kid doesn’t get why the metaphor of the sky is so prevalent, we get it, he’s a loner, we get it, he’s bored and a saddo, we get it. This is all so fucking ga-

Shut up, this is a real story, we’re getting to that.

*ahem*

“I’m home” Haruta moaned as he took off his shoes.

“Did you get the bag of rice I asked for?” His mother said, whilst sitting indian style in the kitchen

“No, because we got rice last week, and there shouldn’t be any reason to buy more. I’m not gonna let you bankrupt us because you want more ingredients for your weirdo cultist bullshit” Haruta snapped back. “Also why are you sitting like that?”

“I had a signal from the spirits this morning. My period was supposed to be this week, yet I have no cramps, I feel a divine pregnancy coming along”

Haruta glared at his mother with a look somewhere betwixt disgust and astonishment.

“I’m  kidding, my period isn’t for another week, I did get a signal from the spirits though”

“Do fucking tell.” Haruta snarled.

“How many times have I told you to stop with the bad language, the neighbors will think you’re a delinquent”

“Like father like son, am I right?”

Haruta’s father had left the family when he was 12 years old. He raped a 15 year old high school student and had been sent to prison for 6 years. Once released from prison, he abandoned the family and hasn’t been heard from since. Haruta doesn’t know any of this however. His mother lied to him and said he ran away with a prostitute. (Personally I’m not sure which is worse)

“What did the spirits even say anyway?” Haruta asked, while grabbing a bottle of mountain dew, and a can of beer from the fridge.

“I was shown a vision, of a far away land, where reality is as malleable as clay, and the very fabric of space time is naught but a tool to be twisted and bent to the will of those capable”

“So you did LSD again”

“Yes, but that’s not the point. I was actually moments away from summoning a portal to this world.” Haruta’s mother said, still sitting with her legs crossed, muttering incantations.

“So, let’s say I believed you, and this portal to this weird nether realm was real, what would that even do for you?” Haruta said while taking sips from his terrible alcoholic mixed drink.

“For me? Nothing. For you? Everything”

“Come again?” Haruta asked, with a puzzled expression.

At that moment, a golden ethereal circle appeared in the living room. Haruta’s mother’s incantations appeared to be working. The circle got bigger and bigger to the point where it consumed most of the room. Haruta walked towards the circle, half surprised, half impressed, and without warning, felt a heavy push from behind, knocking him into the circle, sending him spiralling into the magical portal.

“Have fun honey, take plenty of pictures, don’t worry I won’t sleep around too much while you’re gone.”

“WHAT THE FUCK, YOU STUPID FUCKING WHORE, I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL GET BACK HERE AND KILL YOU, I SWEA-

. . .

“The Sky always bor-”

“Bored you, yea you said that already.” Mika said, interrupting Haruta’s monologue.

It had been 87 years since that fateful day that Haruta was shoved into the magical portal. Despite this, he only had the appearance of having aged 2 years. Haruta’s journey had taken him through various different dimensions and dangerous worlds, however he had finally settled down as a student in a school for aspiring Magic users. It had been his goal to conjure up a portal to get him back to his world so he could kill his mother for putting him in this mess in the first place. However, we’re getting ahead of ourselves. 87 years is a long time, time ripe for wonderful story material, it would be a shame to waste all of it. Let’s go back and dig through some of the nonsense Haruta got himself into.

[Time passed since the portal: 2 Days]

The night was cold, and without a single light in sight. Haruta had been wandering through this strange land for an entire 48 hours. Shivering from the cold, and weak from starvation, he slowly wandered as he pondered the various ways he’d torture his mother for putting him here in the first place. In between imagining the various ways he could inflict pain, he collapsed.

“Onii chan”  “Onii Chan” “Onii Chan”

“ONII CHAN” The young girl screamed.

“Fiiiive more minutes” Haruta groaned. “Wait what the hell, did you just call me onii chan?”

“Why wouldn’t I? I’m your little sister aren’t I?” The young girl said. Her voice was adorable, every word tinged with bliss and youthful exuberance. Haruta was taken aback by how endearing this person was. The way she spoke, with a sense of familiarity and warmth that only a real blood relative would have. Was she his sister? Was this his real life? Had everything that had come before been a terrible nightmare? Was he finally home? She looked to be about the same age as Haruta, her hair was bright orange, her eyes were a shining emerald green, her body was supple and curvacious.

Moments later, there was a knocking at the door. It then opened to reveal another young girl with onyx hair and eyes a striking shade of vermillion. She was younger than the other girl.

“Oh, big bro, you’re awake” The girl at the door said. “Get out of bed you’ve been asleep all day”.

“Ok, I’m lost. Who are you two? The last thing I remember was walking outside in the cold, did you find me lying on the ground or something?”

Both girls shot him a quizzical look, as if he had been speaking another language.

“Big bro, what on earth are you talking about? You never left the house. In fact you’ve been quite the shut in for these past few weeks.”

“Past few weeks?”

OH sorry, how rude of me. What a terrible narrator I am.

*Ahem*

[Time Passed since the portal: 4 weeks]

Haruta got out of his bed and looked out of the window. Sure enough, he was in Japan. Everything seemed normal. This wasn’t the home he grew up in, however it felt like a home. It felt normal, it felt...  good.

“Ok, so what are your names?” Haruta asked.

“Is this some kind of game? Like 20 questions? Sure, I’ll play. My name is Mika Yamazaki.” Said the orange haired girl.

“This here is our sister, Karen Yamazaki” said Mika, as Karen shot Haruta two gun fingers.

“Ok Mika, Karen, I’m Haruta, nice to meet you.”

“Of course you are silly, why are you talking like you’re meeting us for the first time. Anyway, let’s get downstairs, the others have been worried about you” said Karen as she exited the room.

“Others?” Haruta mumbled as he followed them downstairs.

Surely enough, there were others. About 9 of them to be exact. Young girls with a myriad of different hair colours and body types. Lolis, buxom teenagers, and more. As soon as Haruta entered the living room where they all were they all screamed in excitement.

“ONII CHAN~~~~” they all yelled.

“Ok, what the hell is going on here, who the hell are all of you. Where are we?”

“Haru-kun, you’re being weird” Said one of the girls in the crowd.

“Yea Haru, what’s up with the anime act, we’re your sisters, stop fooling around” said another.

“I’m an only child. I grew up in Shinjuku, this isn’t my house, I don’t know any of you people. I need to get home. I’m leaving, thanks for taking care of me and all, but I have to go, this is too weird.”

“Alright, which one of you dumb sluts forgot to drug him this morning?” Said a voice from across the room. It was a short loli with silver hair and cobalt blue eyes, staring back at him with a blank expression. “I swear, Mika, I’m never leaving you in charge of this again.”

“Ok, I have a bunch of questions, but I’m not going to ask them. I’m just going to quietly leave and let you guys sort this ou-”

“You’re not going anywhere, Haru nii chan. This is your home now, and you’re going to live with us forever” said the chrome headed loli.

“I guess, we have to be upfront about it. I hoped he’d just play along like the others. Sorry I forgot, Sayori nee” Said Mika.

“What a shame. The cute sister act usually works on hapless Otaku scum like him, with or without medical enhancements..” Said Karen.

The girls began to chuckle maniacally as they all circled Haruta.

“See, we need a big brother Haru. We’ve had them in the past, but they all leave, or die before we’re done with them. You’re going to be different. You’re never leaving us.” Said the girl with the silver hair. “My name is Sayori. This is the house of 12 wives.”

It all began to click for Haruta at this moment. The house of 12 wives was a story he read as a young boy. A story where a man who lost his way was whisked away to a house full of beautiful maidens. Who then proceeded to turn him into their slave until he was worked to death.

“You’re going to be our big brother forever.” said one of the girls.

“The hell I am.” Haruta then began to unleash 12 years of Aikido training on the girls. Dispatching them in rapid fashion. Breaking bones, gouging eyes, and cracking limbs.

In the carnage, one of the girls tried to blindside him with a katana, which he easily disarmed her of and began slicing all of them into ribbons. After all the girls were dead. He walked to the door and continued his journey.

[Time Since Portal: 6 Months.]

After the house of 12 wives incident, Haruta found himself again in another strange world, except this time it was a land with technology that was centuries ahead of his own time. A world of perpetual combat driven by giant metal machines.

“What the hell is this shit?” Haruta mumbled to himself as he looked onwards at the sky. Today, of all days. The sky didn’t bore him. Not one bit.

“YOU THERE, HOW OLD ARE YOU?” said a man who looked like he served in some sort of military organization.

“Me? Uhh, 17. Why do you ask?” responded Haruta

“FUCKING PERFECT, A LITTLE OLD, BUT YOU’LL HAVE TO DO, SON. FOLLOW ME OR DIE.” said the military man.

Haruta followed the man into an aircraft which took him to a giant sea base.

“New recruit?” Said one of the operators as they left the aircraft

“Fresh as they come Sergeant Izaki” Said the Military man. The man then turned to Haruta and introduced himself. “Sorry for the rush, son. My name is Goezon Ichihabara. Call me Commander Goichi. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”

“What exactly do you want me to do?” asked Haruta.

“I want you to win, son.” Said the Commander.

Moments later, Haruta was whisked away and dressed in a flight suit. He was then taken to a giant robot that stood about 65 meters tall.

“Fuckin badass. Thanks mom.” Haruta mumbled to himself. “Let me guess, you want me to pilot this thing?”

“Only if you feel you’re up to the task. You see, our world has been on the brink of collapse for centuries, the evil forces of the Offschaft Empire has ravaged our world for so long and the only ones who can pilot these giant machines called Caskets are the youngest members of our society…”

The commander's words read like a bad synopsis for a Sunrise anime, and Haruta stopped paying attention midway through.

“So I just pilot this giant Cas-whatever and save the day right?” Said Haruta arrogantly.

“All our other recruits bit the dust, but this is a top of the line prototype that’s never been tested, we believe it’s going to turn the tide of the war.”

“Wait, never been tested?” asked Haruta, whilst being strapped into the Casket.

Moments later the robot was flung at full speed into the sky. Haruta was lost. Despite what most dyed in the wool mecha nerds will tell you, a lifetime of playing Gundam VS in arcades, and a constant diet of Giant robot anime doesn't prepare you to operate a 10 ton death machine.

“I know what you’re thinking. ‘How do I access the weapons system. How do I fly this thing, where is the manual’ Unfortunately, there is no manual. You’re in the rice fields now mother fucker” Said a female digitized voice, not unlike a vocaloid.

“What the hell, who are you? Are you the comms operator?” Asked Haruta.

“No” responded the voice.

“Are you going to help me?”

“Maybe”

“Can you please help me?”

Because of his lack of knowledge on operating the Casket, it was now in freefall, headed straight towards the ground at full speed.

“Would you look at that. We’re falling.” Said the voice.

“We? That means you’re like, the voice of the robot right?”

“Bingo”

“If this thing get’s destroyed, you die too, so help me.”

“Not so fast, meat sack. I can upload my core node to the base. Not sure they’ve confirmed that update for you humans yet” responded the voice.

“Ok, please, please, please help me. I don’t wanna die, I’m still a virgin”

“No you aren’t, Your biochemistry says otherwise. Nice try, you liar”

“Wait but I’m not lyin-”

“56 seconds to impact” said the voice. This time responding in a much more automated fashion.

“OH DON’T DO A FUCKING COUNTDOWN”

“55 seconds, to impact”

“PLEASE, DON’T LET ME DIE. I SWEAR TO GOD, I CAN’T DIE HERE”

“48 seconds to impact”

“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT. I DON’T KNOW WHAT I DID TO YOU, BUT I’M SORRY OK? CAN YOU PLEASE NOT LET ME DIE”

“Initiating propulsion systems. Welcome to the Casket OS 6.0 Pilot Registered: Private Haruta Harumachi. Cute name, for such a little bitch” responded the voice. “I’m your partner A.I. the Mecha Integrated Killer App. Call me Mika.”

“Mika…” said Haruta, pondering the events of the last world he was in.

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out. So what do you want to do Haru-Kun?”

“Don’t Haru-Kun me, you bitch, a few seconds ago  you were gonna let me die, what was that about anyway?”

“I was bored. They’ve never let me talk to a pilot before, and you seem really nice. Please don’t be mad at me okay?” Mika’s voice was sweet and sultry, not unlike the one from the past world, even more so when she wasn’t threatening Haruta’s life. “Give me a second. I’m uploading the basic protocols to your neurolink.”

“My neurolink? Are you gonna like, plug into my brain or something?”

“Along those lines.”

Haruta felt a sharp pain in his head, after a few moments of the neurolink, he had the basic understanding of how to properly pilot and operate the Casket. Haruta then shoots back into the sky, above the clouds

“So who are we fighting?”

“Here are the coordinates, just follow the map, and you’ll be in the warzone. Be careful Haru chan” Mika said in a loving tone

“I don’t know what I hate more, when you’re being crazy, or when you’re being fake nice.”

Upon reaching the battlefield, it was clear that this world was more on the Universal Century end of the spectrum. Broken down mechs everywhere, thousands of dead civilians, cities razed to the ground. Countless innocent lives lost in a brutal military exchange. Haruta was delighted. As Haruta reached the battle scene, there were two Bright red Caskets in front of him. They didn’t attack immediately, instead they began to communicate.

“즉시 기계에서 벗어나십시오.” Said a voice on the Casket’s comms link.

“What the fuck?” Said haruta. “Why are they speaking in fucking Korean?”

“30 초 내에 준수해야합니다. 네가 항복하지 않으면 우리가 널 죽일거야.” Said the voice again.

“I can’t understand you” Replied Haruta.

“Did you want me to translate that for you?” asked Mika.

“You can do that? Of course I want you to translate, why didn’t didn’t you do that in the first place.”

“죽다, 씨발”

“What was that?” asked Haruta

“He said, ‘Die, You fuck’” responded Mika.

“Lovely” said Haruta.

The Korean speaking Robots darted viciously towards Haruta’s Casket. One wielding an axe the other wielding a giant sword. Haruta maneuvered through their strikes, while frantically trying to figure out the weapons features. He finds a way to activate the missile system and lets two rockets fly, the axe wielding Casket slices the missile in half, sending both pieces hurtling towards a refugee camp below. The missile explodes killing hundreds of women and children. Their screams could be heard 30 feet above the ground.

“Smooth moves, Haru chan” blurted Mika, condescendingly.

“Will you shut up, I’m trying to figure out how fighting in this thing works.” Haruta fumbled around with the controls.

“Why not just ask? I can just neurolink you again with all the combat data.” Mika then shot Haruta with another neurolink containing the Casket’s combat information.

“Go time.” Haruta stabilizes the Casket, and pulls out a beam saber,

The two red caskets move on Haruta once again, however this time, instead of maneuvering away from them, he charges at them directly. Beam saber at the ready. He dispatches the one wielding the axe with relative ease, then dodges a strike from the one with the sword.

“Holy shit, I’m a real mecha pilot, this is fucking amazing” Haruta said gleefully while exchanging blows with the second red Casket. These Offshaft guys aren’t so tough.

“Those aren’t Offshaft Caskets” Mika said blankly.

“Wait what?” Haruta was baffled. If they weren’t Offshaft, then who were they? “If these aren’t who we’re supposed to be fighting then why didn’t you tell me?”

“You looked like you were having so much fun” Mika said once again, in her colourful tone.

“Ok, do a scan. Who are these guys?”

“No scans necessary, these are your allies.” Responded Mika

“I JUST KILLED ONE OF OUR ALLIES?” Haruta was shocked. He knew if he went back to the base, Goichi would probably throw him in a holding cell, or worse. “Why were they speaking Korean? Why did they attack me? What’s going on?”

“Well, in no particular order, we’re in a combat situation. These are the Korean Branch of the Asiatic resistance front, and this Casket model isn’t registered on any databases yet, so they probably thought you were an enemy. You should have gotten out and talked to them when you had the chance.”

The situation was dire. Haruta was in a real life, honest to goodness mecha battle, not only that he had just murdered one of the people he was supposed to be working alongside.

“This may be a bad time, but there’s Casket’s en route to our location” Mika said.

“How many?” asked Haruta.

“About thirty”

“Offshaft?”

“No. More Koreans.”

“Well shit.”

Surely enough, moments later, Haruta was surrounded by red Caskets, all bearing the same insignia as the two from earlier. The sword wielding Casket Haruta had been fighting fell back and joined the formation.

“So whatcha gonna do?” Mika then materialized as a hologram of a kawaii anime girl eating pop corn.

“Jesus, you’re even more annoying when I can see you.” snarled Haruta.

Haruta was done with all of this. He reared the propulsion engine and darted upwards. If he was going to die in a mech fight, it might as well be in space. However as he climbed upwards the sky didn’t get darker, in fact it was quite the opposite. A bright light began to shine, and before he knew it, Haruta engulfed in water. Still propelling himself forward, his Casket broke through to reveal that he was in once again, back in current day Japan.

“Mika? Are you there?” Haruta said, waiting for the A.I’s flippant response. However there was nothing.

The Casket was still functional, yet it was clear that he had made another jump to a different world.

. . .

“Get out of the robot, and put your hands on the ground” Said a female voice on a megaphone.

The Casket’s visual functions were shut down while underwater. For all intents and purposes, Haruta was blind and trapped in a giant metal tomb.

“What is it now. Mika, if you’re listening, could you turn the displays on?” Said Haruta

“Get out of the robot and put your hands on the ground” The female voice repeated.

“Rebooting displays” said Mika. Her voice bringing a strange kind of relief to Haruta.

Upon reactivating the Casket’s optics, it became very clear who had been talking.

In front of Haruta stood a squadron of about 20 or so pubescant girls dressed in various colourful costumes. Not unlike heroines from a Mahou Shoujou anime. The one with the megaphone had green hair, purple eyes, and a thin slender frame, however her voice was gruff and tomboyish.

“I’m giving you till the count of 5 to open the cockpit and show yourself, with your hands behind your head” The green haired magical girl bellowed.

“This can’t be real” Haruta guffawed, frantically searching around the cockpit for a kind of exit hatch.

“What are you doing?” Mika asked, bluntly.

“Trying to leave the Casket? I need to diffuse this before it turns into another dead Korean situation” Haruta responded.

“Do you really think a bunch of kids in dress up can possibly leave any lasting damage on a 16 Trillion yen death machine?” Mika asked again. Bluntly.

“I have a feeling these aren’t your typical middle schoolers”

“5”

“Open the hatch Mika” Haruta’s words were stern but tinged with panic.

“4”

“Stop being a pussy and shoot these kids, Haru-kun” Mika responded in her usual dry, sadistic demeanor.

“3”

“I’m not hurting children Mika.”

“2”

“Are you sure? Because you sliced those girls to ribbons without much hesitation”

“1”

“That was self defe- WAIT HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT”

“YOU LEAVE US NO CHOICE” The magical girl screamed, as her compatriots began readying a large destructive spell.

“WAIT, HOLD ON”

“FIRE AT WILL”

*** tsudzuku***