#lyall lupin worked in the department for the regulation and control of magical creatures

[cursedwithwords]

James: Lyall, why is there a huge pair of rusty iron scissors on the dresser in Teddy’s room?

Lyall: Don't close those.

James: Yeah they're rusted to hell I don't think I could if I tried. What are they for?

Lyall: Ward off the faeries so they don't kidnap my grandson.

James:

James: That’s valid.

[herbologyprofessor]

my collected thoughts on the magic system of harry potter and what I would change to make it better.

i think that the harry potter magic system sucks!!

i mean, im sure this isnt a hot take but like...how is it that students at hogwarts school of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY graduate knowing how to use maybe a handfull of spells in combat? and they're the same spells that all the aurors and all the older members of the order and all the death eaters and even voldemort use?

and im especially talking about how weak it makes people who are supposed to be really powerful and dangerous seem. including the titular character Harry Potter himself. Harry uses spells in a unique way, dont get me wrong, but to me its all just so boring.

and im not saying it doesnt have to work like other fantasy stories, but if the main mechanism behind magic in harry potter is that you are either born with it or not, you dont need a wand but its exponentially more challenging without one (unless you have a unique skillset or education), intention matters, and there are spells that can grant magical abilities to objects. there is so much more possibility than just expelliarmus and expecto patronum. There has to be, or else why tf would hogwarts take 7 years of schooling to graduate from?

so here are some of my headcanons:

families have bloodline abilities

so, in the case of wizarding britan, there are families that want to stay pure such as the sacred 28 (or is it 27 i cant remember), and pure as in their blood and bloodline must stay pure (going so far as to marry your cousins, e.g. Orion and Walburga Black). If this is the case, and they wan't to preserve their magical bloodline so bad, they'd have to have something more than just "magic" to preserve.

I feel like its almost there in canon but falls short of being fully realized. I think of it kinda like how it works in naruto. Theres those who have a bloodline ability and then those that dont. You dont have to have one to be powerful, if you have one it dosent mean you will be powerful automatically.

The black family seems to carry the gene for metamorphmagus, but i wouldnt consder this a bloodline ability and think of it more like a random mutation passed on to teddy, which could occur in any magical person, (theres also the possibility that this was a more common ability in the black family but because of the lack of genetic diversity and inbreeding it was lost until Andromeda had Remadora with Ted, who was not pureblood. I think abilities have to do with the energy of magic that is either created or inherited, not so much genetics. Therefore, families dont pass on the same exact ability but something that is novel or slightly different from person to person.

The Lupins, for example, could be Beast Speakers. Maybe, a long time ago in the Lupin familiy, they kept wolves or something (explaining the surname which would have had something to do with occupation) and they learned from them how to speak with animals?Lyall, who canonically worked in the Department for the Control and Regulation of Dark Creatures, can speak to dark creatures, even werewolves who are transformed. Remus can speak to domesticated animals like cats and dogs, fancy mice, toads, etc. Remus is like Hogwarts' unofficial vet tech, and if you like atyd Remus, this fits in nicely as he specialized in Care of Magical Creatures.

The Potters, canonically, are linked to the Peverell family. The invisibility cloak has been passed down through generations and is still being passed down to Harry's children. I think a common headcanon, and one that i truly love, is that they use Death Magic. But, thats assuming the potters are the exact same family as the Peverells, which they are not. I think, in going along with the Peverell brothers creating the deathly hallows (using advanced death magic), the potters have a Sorcerer's Craft ability. What was the Potter family's source of new money? Fleamont's invention, Sleekeazey's. I know its a "potion", but what if its just like...coconut oil imbued with magical enchantments that make your hair perfect. James could have played a major hand in the creation of the Marauder's Map, an Extremely powerful magical object made to do the impossible task of mapping Hogwarts. And he did this in school. at like 14-15. Harry doesn't do anything that has to do with magic item creation, that I can remember (i haven't read the books in years), however he also had no connection to his family and likely wouldn't be able to learn without another Potter teaching him. BUT! Harry Potter is the master of death, meaning he can use all 3 of the deathly hallows without being corrupted, maybe this could be a side effect of how his Sorcerer's Craft manifests itself.

side tangent, but the reason I think this is an ability even though others have been known to make magical objects, is because the potters are able to do it very creatively, and early on in their lives. They are involved in every aspect of item creation, and they can enchant things in a way no other wizard could replicate, meaning their objects could not be mass produced without their explicit involvement. Maybe Sleekeasy's stops working so well once Fleamont dies, hence why Hermione says its too much hassle to use every day.

The Blacks, you might think, would be something to do with offensive, powerful, and deadly magic. While, yes, this is something that some members of the black family are gifted in, it is not their bloodline ability. I think that the Blacks are Seers. It's no coincidence their families long standing tradition of astrological names are prophetical for their lives. Walburga Black, for example, has the power of Augery. She asks the universe questions and receives omens as answers. She saw a black dog when asking the universe to tell her about her newborn son, hence the name Sirius. For Regulus, well, she saw water. Not knowing what to make of it, she refused to let Regulus near it for his entire childhood. Regulus, as an empath, has the ability of psychometry. The ability to gain information from an object by touching it, including humans ( he cant read minds, but can tell what someone has experienced in their life). This comes in great handiness when he goes to destroy the locket. Sirius, I believe, would have a mastery over tarot cards or oracle cards. He can glean deadly accurate readings, and has a keen ability to interpret meanings unknown to even the most practiced tarot readers. He has a special deck, one that his uncle Alphard gave to him when he found out Sirius could read tarot from Walburga (who, at the time, was very pleased with her Heir's ability). This comes with an emotional expense to Sirius, though, and at times, gives him answers he doesnt want to hear. The girls loved it though, and asked him to teach them. He tried but couldn't explain how he did it, since it's innate to his bloodline. Of course, you could obviously imagine this adding to the piles of angst surrounding the war, as Sirius had to have seen signs that his loved ones would die, making him think he could outsmart fate by changing the secret keeper...

I think this is getting too long, but I'm already thinking about part 2 because I have alot of thoughts about this...especially things that anyone could learn not just inheritied abilities.

[chaoswillfallrpg]

REMUS LUPIN is TWENTY-TWO YEARS OLD and a CRIME SCENE PHOTOGRAPHER in THE DEPARTMENT OF MAGICAL LAW ENFORCEMENT at THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC.  He looks remarkably like JOE KEERY and considers himself aligned with THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX. He is currently OPEN.

→ OVERVIEW: 

tw: bodily harm

The kindest of his friends with a gentle warmth in his heart, Remus Lupin is a difficult friend to make though he is a firm one. Raised in the Welsh city of Cardiff, Remus can’t remember much of his life before the pivotal moment which changed it forever. The only son of insurance officer HOPE HOWELL and senior advisor on magical creatures for The Ministry of Magic LYALL LUPIN, Remus’ earlier days were described by his parents as simple but loving. When he was first born his father mostly cared for him, allowing Hope to return to work a few days a week which became somewhat impossible during Remus’ later years until he attended Hogwarts. Lyall hadn’t yet taken his job at The Ministry, instead spending his time writing and researching for his latest book he had been writing during Hope’s pregnancy. Though Remus can’t remember most of it his younger years consisted of sitting with his father each day listening to the adventures of Lyall Lupin. Favourite tales included how he rescued his mother from a Boggart to his brief move into the Cardiff countryside to study troublesome Poltergeists. Lyall Lupin was afraid of nothing and it was a value he tried to instill in his son from an early age. 

As a young boy Remus was happy and curious, eager to learn about the world around him and did not frighten easily, though when your bedtime stories were about ghosts, vampires and werewolves there was little left to be frightened of.  His brief time at Primary School had also been a happy one, allowing his father to accept the senior advisor position in The Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures to help the magical world with his knowledge. Remus didn’t miss being at home when he was at school. Popular amongst the other students due to his kindness and compassion he arrived home each day hand in hand with his mother with a new story or a friend in tow to gossip with over the kitchen table. Then Remus stopped coming to school. School like many things in his life became impossible, all due to the events of one night and one man. With members of the magical community and Muggle communities going missing Lyall was involved in the trial of a man who would become an infamous name in the wizarding world. FENRIR GREYBACK was a werewolf in disguise on trial for the murder of two Muggle children and had told the questioning committee he was a Muggle tramp which all but Lyall had fallen for. 

Recognising the characteristic signs of lycanthropy in Greyback's appearance and behaviour, Lyall voiced his concerns recommending that Greyback be detained until the next full moon, which was only twenty-four hours away. Lyall was instead ridiculed, causing him to lose his temper and was consequently expelled from the room while Fenrir was released, escaping onto the streets of London and hatching a plan to further ridicule the wizard who had offended both him and his kind with his comments. Shortly before Remus's fifth birthday, Fenrir followed Lyall home to his little house in Cardiff and climbed inside Remus’ bedroom window. Claws extended and teath beard he swiped at Remus, as he screamed in pain. Lyall reached Remus in time, repelling Fenrir with a powerful curse but the damage had already been done. Remus was infected. Every full moon thereafter Remus would transform into a werewolf, afraid for the lives of those around him and scared of the animal inside him that clawed its way out of him. His parents tried everything to find a cure for their son both magical and Muggle but could find nothing to help him. Concerned his condition would prevent Remus from attending Hogwarts his parents made arrangements to homeschool Remus but were stopped in their tracks the night before Remus’ eleventh birthday. 

Entering their home despite Lyall’s charms, PROFESSOR ALBUS DUMBLEDORE convinced Remus’ parents to allow him to accept his position at Hogwarts since he had already seen to it that the boy would have a safe, secure location to spend his monthly transformations. Moving to Hogwarts was a liberating experience for Remus. With a place to transform each month that didn’t result in him and his family moving every cycle he relaxed more into himself though he knew he could never fully let his guard down. He started by making friends with LILY EVANS, a gentle character and fellow Gryffindor who noticed how often he kept to himself. Lily was Remus’ first real friend and was grateful of her kindness. She never asked questions, only smiled and squeezed his hand at times she thought he needed it, which was more than she knew. The questions mostly came from the boys who lived in his dorm. JAMES POTTER was a loud and transparent boy Remus couldn’t have imagined being friends with until he was already in the throws of their friendship. James had taken a shine to him at first to get him away from Lily which Remus had noted though he said nothing till a number of years later. James’ best friends and his fellow roommates SIRIUS BLACK and PETER PETTIGREW, easily accepted him after James had given Remus his seal of approval and welcomed him with open arms into their little club of misfits. 

To the untrained eye, Remus didn’t belong with the three boys. He was much quieter, less trouble. But if souls were indeed made it was clear Remus, James, Sirius and Peter’s were made the same. They brought out a more mischievous side to him Remus had allowed to wither away long ago and although PROFESSOR MINERVA MCGONAGALL scolded him for his role in the occasional prank he still would enjoy the role he played. Despite his kinship with the boys, Remus still attempted to keep them at arm’s length, though a clever ploy by Sirius would not allow that to go on past their second year. Under the watchful eye of Professor Dumbledore, Remus would transform and roam The Dark Forest, before resting for a number of days in The Shrieking Shack and finally returning to classes. He would make up stories for his absence, but Sirius and Peter soon grew suspicious and followed him out one evening. Confirming their earlier suspicions they waited patiently for Remus to return before confronting him with their brilliant plan. Remus was shocked they hadn’t been disgusted by him, finding that with them finally fully by his side he enjoyed Hogwarts much more than he did his time at home. He graduated a prefect, narrowly missing out on Head Boy thanks to James and with close friendships he knew he would keep for the rest of his life as he headed into the world. 

Not wanting to burden the lives of his parents, Remus moved to Farringdon and settled into an apartment with his three best friends. He had a good support network around him, even from those who didn’t know about his condition. Remus had always thought to himself that if he was capable of loving someone he would have loved DORCAS MEADOWES. They enjoyed the company of one another in its purest form and that was simply enough. Given his status as a werewolf, Remus was refused a number of jobs before being accepted as a crime scene photographer in The Department of Magical Law Enforcement, working under FRANK LONGBOTTOM, due to a few kind words from Dorcas. The job was a gruesome one with people turning up each day murdered in one way or another. Remus and Frank were recently assigned a string of potential werewolf attacks they believed linked back to Fenrir Greyback. With the help of medical expert KEIRA GREY and Remus, Frank hopes to catch Fenrir and make him pay for his crimes though the pair have much more on their hands than simply Fenrir at present. Both members of Dumbeldore’s Order of The Phoenix, Remus spends a great deal of his free time training with Frank and helping The Order. Remus is dedicated and loyal enough to the cause to put in the extra hours and isn’t afraid to use the help of a few unconventional people to dig deeper into cases, even if he has to hide it from his friends. 

→ ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

Blood Status → Half-Blood (Werewolf)

Pronouns → He/Him

Identification → Cis Male 

Sexuality  → Up to Roleplayer 

Relationship Status → Single

Previous Education →  Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Gryffindor)

Societies → N/A

Family → Lyall Lupin (father) 

Connections  → James Potter (best friend/housemate), Peter Pettigrew (best friend/housemate), Sirius Black (best friend/housemate), Dorcas Meadowes (best friend), Marlene McKinnon (close friend), Mary MacDonald (close friend), Lily Evans (close friend), Maren Linwood (close friend/potential love interest), Edward Tonks (friend), Keira Grey (friend), Emilia Grey (friend), Cassiopeia Kim (friend), Cressida Abercrombie (friend), Gilfred Abbott (friend), Caradoc Dearborn (friend), Poppy Hookum (friend), Aurora Sinistra (friend), Frank Longbottom (mentor/colleague), Fenrir Greyback (maker/adversary)  

Future Information → Husband of Nymphadora Tonks, Father of Teddy Lupin

REMUS LUPIN IS A LEVEL 7 WIZARD/WEREWOLF.

[lycxnthrcpe]

( cis male | he/him | archie renaux ) —— isn’t that REMUS LUPIN? yeah that is them, sitting there at the GRYFFINDOR table with those other SIXTH years. when sybill looks into that crystal ball of hers, she sees silvery skin stretched over limb, waking up in sweat and screams, a primal pull beneath the surface, half smoked cigarettes, bloody knuckles and bruised jaw, ripped jeans covered in grass and blood stains, mischievous grin hiding malice. anyway i’ve heard they’re pretty STOIC, SARCASTIC, and COMMITTED. apparently they’re a FOR THE LIGHT and HALF BLOOD but i’m sure that’s not related. —— [ ay ]

HI FRIENDS. this is like... basic af stuff and not at all finished but I wanted to get something up for you all.  hit me up for plots!

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME:  REMUS JOHN LUPIN MEANING: "Lupin" is derived from the Latin "lupinus," which means "of a wolf." Remus is a figure from Roman mythology who was raised by a wolf. NICKNAME(S):  MOONY, REM, LOOP PREFERRED NAME(S):  any BIRTH DATE:  10 March 1960 AGE: 17 ZODIAC: pieces GENDER:  cismale PRONOUNS:  he/him ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: hetero SEXUAL ORIENTATION:  hetero NATIONALITY: english / irish

BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE: KILKENNY, IRELAND HOMETOWN:  GODRIC’S HOLLOW. EDUCATION LEVEL:  SIXTH YEAR, GRYFFINDOR. FATHER:  LYALL LUPIN - WIZARD ( works at the ministry of magic, in the department for the regulation and control of magical creatures ) MOTHER:  HOPE HOWELL - MUGGLE ( used to work in an insurance office in cardiff before she met lyall, now she works as an artist, selling fine art in markets )

STORY SUMMARY 

TRIGGER WARNINGS BELOW: child abuse, violence, hate speech (against werewolves), mental illness (maybe?)

THE FIRST AND ONLY CHILD to Hope and Lyall Lupin, a half-blood, and a boy that clearly displays fight and courage. attacked at the tender age of just four and three quarters by notorious werewolf fenrir greyback, remus lupin’s life was from that point cursed and all in the name of revenge. the fued between fenrir and lyall stemmed from hatred comments that were uttered by the wizard, damning those with the lycanthrope gene, labelling them “soulless, evil, and deserving nothing but death”.  the boy was lucky to get away from the attack in his own bedroom with his life, his father coming to his aid and attempting from that day forth, to rid the small boy of the curse— but nothing worked. lyall and hope did everything in their power to silence and keep the boy safe during his monthly transformations, but remus grew stronger with every phase. It was only because of Dumbledore that remus was able to actually attend hogwarts.  Remus was sorted into gryffindor and was able to keep his werewolf status a secret from everyone at hogwarts bar a few close friends.

POINTS

remus isn’t a fan of his father. he has always felt as though he hated him since remus was in fact one of the creatures he’d spent his life trying to rid the world of. his father never exactly knew how to handle him either, and remus found himself locked away in small spaces, bound so that he couldn’t harm himself or anyone else. deep down, he knew it was for his own safety, but he can’t help but think that his father secretly found small bits of enjoyment in his own sons torture. As such, remus hates small spaces, hates not being in control and rarely let’s people beside his own close friends touch him. 

in this divergent version of remus, he isn’t a prefect, in fact, he’s far from it. while he seems to hold a special place in dumbledore’s mind, remus’ pranks quite often have him ending up in detention, unless he can get pulled out of it by someone else. 

PERSONALITY

AN ORIGINAL PRANKSTER, harboring little regret for his actions, remus is still a good kid on the surface, if not sarcastic and crass; but there is a side to remus that he hardly shows any, the side that pulls more at the wolf in him than at the human. there is a constant pull within him, maybe a little part of fenrir himself ( or perhaps his lycanthrope ancestors ) that like to pick at him from the inside, like to tempt him toward the darker aspects of life. it’s almost as if he and the wolf are two separate entities. 

THE WEREWOLF is honest, and knows right from wrong, but sometimes he feels it may be easier to just be the beast he’s yearning to be. he has a grasp of his mind during transformations now, and with the help of his best mate, sirius, he’s been able to keep his human consciousness during the full moon— but sometimes he doesn’t want to.  remus isn’t loud, he isn’t the class clown, and he can be quite quiet, calculated and — when the time calls for it, he can be cruel like the best of the snakes out there. 

[lyallslvpin]

*sighs* here is my broody moody lyall lupin! but i straight up love this mans

☆ ( ROBERT PATTINSON, CISMALE, HE/HIM) ☆ that over there would be ( LYALL LUPIN ), the ( 35 ) year old ( HALFBLOOD ) who ( DID NOT ) fight during the global wizarding war. they attended ( HOGWARTS ) and are a ( GRYFFINDOR ) alum. which is fitting considering they are ( PROTECTIVE ), yet (RECLUSIVE ). they are an ( ORDER OF THE PHOENIX MEMBER ) and also work as an ( AUROR ). every time i see them, it’s like ( PERSONAL JESUS BY DEPECHE MODE ) is playing in my head. ( cigarette butts under the porch, gentle hands, & fog rolling in early in the morning ). ☆ 

tw: death

so his dad was a wizard and his mother was a muggle, though sadly she died giving birth to lyall-- so he never got to meet her. his dad also never spoke about her, and up until lyall’s grandma brought it up when he was seven, he never even thought he had a mother.

he attended hogwarts as a gryffindor and for his school career, he was a pretty happy, go-lucky kid. he was really good at quidditch, and he knew it-- so talk about cocky much? 

was never spooked by his boggart in the defense against the dark arts class because it was this woman he didn’t even know. because of this, it was fairly easy for him to distinguish the beast as not being real. to this day, lyall hasn’t realized his boggart is his mother because he’s still never seen a photograph of her.

sometime after graduating, in his early twenties, lyall was conducting research on boggarts-- mostly trying to figure out how to fool them and how they studied their targets. deep in the woodlands, lyall met someone who would change his life forever.... hope howell. 

everything about her was perfect to lyall, and even their friends agreed that hope made him a better man. since graduating, lyall had thrown himself into his research and people wouldn’t see him for months. with hope around-- his friends started to see him much more often.

not long after his marriage to hope, lyall was hired for a position in the department for regulation and control of magical creatures for his expertise on boggarts and poltergeists. everything seemed to be looking up for him-- he had a good job, a beautiful wife, and even a baby boy on the way.

2 years ago, lyall was asked to be on the questioning committee for fenrir greyback. after proving to the committee that greyback was indeed a werewolf, his co-workers ridiculed him and expelled him from the committee when lyall lost his temper. 

as payback for lyall’s cruel remarks about werewolves, greyback snuck into lyall’s home on his son’s birthday and bit him-- giving remus to werewolf curse.

since then, lyall has lost that spark that so many people saw in him when he met hope. while he still vows to love and protect his family, remus’ friends have begun to see him less and less...

[maraudingmoon]

Lupin Family

Hope Lupin (née Howell) - Catherine Keener

Hope was born in Wales and works in insurance. One day, when walking through a dense forest, she encountered a boggart which took the form of a very large and vicious-looking man. Lyall Lupin, a wizard, heard her frightened scream and rushed to her aid, turning the Boggart into a field mushroom with a wave of his wand. He escorted her home afterward to ensure her safety.

A few months later, Lyall confessed to Hope that the Boggart had never posed any real danger to her, but this did not diminish her fondness of him — the pair had fallen in love with each other by this point. When Lyall proposed marriage, Hope accepted, and eagerly dedicated herself to planning their nuptials. The wedding took place in early 1959, the cake featuring a boggart-shaped topper, a whimsical touch on Hope's part. A year later, Remus was born.

Lyall Lupin- David Weham 

By the age of thirty Lyall had become a world-renowned expert on Non-Human Spirituous Apparitions, which included poltergeists and Boggarts. On an expedition to a remote Welsh woodland to investigate reports of a very fierce Boggart, he met his future wife.

By the mid-1960s, Lord Voldemort's power was growing, and his followers were recruiting a wide variety of Dark creatures to further his cause. The Ministry of Magic called upon experts on Dark creatures in the hope of better understanding the threat and keeping it in check. Lyall was asked to join the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures and did so happily.

In early 1965, Fenrir Greyback was brought in for questioning at the Ministry of Magic following the deaths of two Muggle children. Although he was apparently caught with a werewolf pack, the Ministry was not aware that Greyback was himself a werewolf because the existing Werewolf Registry was not well-maintained. Lyall, however, recognized characteristic signs of lycanthropy in Greyback's appearance and behavior and voiced his concerns to the committee, recommending that Greyback be detained until the next full moon, which was only twenty-four hours away.

Regardless, the other committee members ridiculed Lyall and he lost his temper, declaring werewolves to be "soulless, evil, deserving nothing but death." Consequently, he was expelled from the room, and Greyback was released.

Soon after, Greyback hatched a plan to get revenge on Lyall for his derogatory remark.Shortly before his son Remus's fifth birthday, Greyback forced open the boy's bedroom window and attacked him. Lyall reached his son in time to save his life, repelling Greyback with powerful curses, but Remus from then on had become a werewolf.

Remus Lupin -Luke Newberry

Thus, the couple was forced to take drastic measures to conceal Remus's condition, moving to a new village or town whenever their neighbors began to take notice of the boy's strange behavior. They forbade Remus from playing with other children, and consequently, despite having the love of both his parents, his early childhood was marked by loneliness.

Initially, Lyall was able to keep Remus under control during the full moon by placing him in a locked room and casting several Silencing Charms, but as the child grew, he became more difficult to contain. By the time he was ten, Remus was capable of knocking down doors and breaking windows during his monthly transformation, requiring Lyall to use ever more powerful spells.

Family Headcanons

-While Welsh is considered a dying language, the Lupins still dip into their mother tongue for doling out advice and obscuring their frustration.

-Remus and his mother love to bake together, especially for the holidays.

-His paternal grandparents were already deceased by the time he was born. He didn't see his maternal grandparents again after he was bitten.

He was homeschooled in Muggle lessons until he was 11.

-Lyall’s father used to read Ministry briefs to him as bedtime stories.

[betterdcyz-a]

Time to fucking explore more of Remus’ childhood and not burst out in tears. ( part 1 ) 

Remus was an unregistered werewolf, his father, Lyall, couldn’t bring himself to put his son’s name into the werewolf registry and decided to hide it from the world. That meant constantly moving around; from house to house, seeking one that provides a sturdy basement for his monthly transformations. Then they’ll leave eventually after months of residing there; up and gone, all evidence of a werewolf living in the basement removed as if by magic. So if a muggle ever moves in and check the basement, there will be no sign of claw marks etching on the walls, nothing to even think that anything could be living there. The Lupin family always made sure that nothing was left behind, and that nothing could be traced back to them. 

And Remus hated this. The monthly transformations were horrifying. His father would place a silencing charm on him, so none of the neighbours was none of the wiser. No one knew of some child in the basement, screaming in pain ( his voice muted ) as he withered; skin tearing and him crying until he transformed. Then there came the loneliness, couldn’t really have many friendships due to all the moving around, and that he shouldn’t really have any friends. His mother wouldn’t mind, but his father was very strict about this. A man who worked in the Ministry of Magic; over at the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures was risking his job here and yet wasn’t completely worried because of the people over at the Werewolf Registry were utter morons. ( Or so Lyall calls them cause of their foolery of believing that Greyback was a muggle. ) But he was still doing something wrong and had to make sure that nothing bad would happen to them. 

So Remus made sure not to screw things up. He filled the lonesome void by reading muggle books gifted by his mother, Hope. He would also be homeschooled; both muggle stuff and wizarding stuff. His mother would teach him muggle things; maths, english, you name it, and his father would try and teach him some magic. Or learn the concept of magic, and how it’s done. But without a wand, Remus couldn’t do much, only listen and nod. 

With the books, Remus would slowly fall in love with a fictional world. He’ll love books like the Lord of the Flies. The Hobbit. You name it, he’ll read it and love it, depends if it’s good anyway. You know how Remus is when he reads bad books. He’ll make faces but was unable to put it down just to know what’s happening next. 

Sometimes, however, he’ll be too worn out to read thanks to the ill effects of the full moon approaching more and more as time passes. And he hates it. Hates every bit of it. Loathes the pain. And you know what’s much worse? To see the sadness in his mother’s face. She too would get tired as well. She knows; perhaps it’s just a mother’s intuition, a deep feeling within her womb that her son was going through the trials of pain once again. And he can’t do anything about it. There’s no cure, none whatsoever. So he has to face not only the pain, not only the soreness of his body in the mornings but to see how heartbroken his mother was. 

One day, he prays that it gets better. But deep down, he knows it doesn’t. It just gets worse. 

[maanling]

☾ *¸• HEADCANON : PARENTS & EARLY CHILDHOOD.

Previously posted here !

italics = ‘’official’’ canon material that I accept bold = canon divergent headcanons

Remus’ father was called Lyall Alton Lupin and his mother was called Hope Louise Lupin (née Howell).

Hope was a muggle and the daughter of a pharmacist, born in 1936 in a remote village at the edge of the Scottish Highlands. Lyall, born in 1928, was a half-blood wizard and was raised in Liverpool.

Lyall ’‘was a world-renowned authority on Non-Human Spirituous Apparitions’’ and worked for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures at the Ministry of Magic. He is a serious workaholic.

Lyall and Hope met in 1958 while he was chasing a particularly fierce and vicious boggart across Scotland.  Passing through the village while preparing an expedition to the Highlands,  Lyall never suspected to stumble upon his future wife. They did not fall for the other straightaway— after parting in the belief their meeting was nothing but two strangers’ accidentally crossing paths, one more month of mundanity passed for Hope.

Their second encounter was far from pleasant ;  after the said boggart travelled from town to town, causing havoc wherever it went, the spirit found itself inhabiting Hope’s closet. She was mercilessly faced with the horrific sight of her parents standing motionlessly in a fashion that would already have been frightening without the fact that their heads were brutally severed. Lyall burst in and managed to banish the spirit, unfortunately too late to prevent the incident from being incredibly traumatizing for Hope, whose parents symbolized the small village she had never dared to leave; the only realm she’d ever known. Hope was both intrigued by and terrified of Lyall and demanded several explanations, eventually being informed about the magical world beyond hers.

While Muggles ’‘rarely see [boggarts] plainly and are often easily convinced that they are a figment of their imagination’’, Hope’s boggart was extraordinarily realistic. Lyall later explained that could be due to the fact that the boggart had been uncommonly wild and aggressive.

The two fell in love and Hope - with mixed feelings from her parent’s side - moved to Liverpool.

Hope became pregnant before she married Lyall. In fact, that very twist was to be one of the major reasons Lyall proposed to her.

THEY. DID. NOT. HAVE. A. WEDDING CAKE TOPPER. IN. THE. SHAPE. OF. A. BOGGART. Hope highly prefers not to be reminded of her encounter with the non-being.

Remus Lupin was born on March 10, 1960, in Liverpool.

‘’In 1965, Fenrir Greyback was brought in for questioning at the Ministry of Magic following the deaths of two Muggle children (…). Greyback was himself a werewolf, but because the Werewolf Registry was not maintained very well, the Ministry did not know this fact. He insisted that he was a Muggle tramp, and all members of the questioning committee, save Lyall, accepted this story. Lyall recognized characteristic signs of lycanthropy in Greyback’s appearance and behaviour. He voiced his concerns to the committee, recommending that Greyback be detained until the next full moon (…). However, the other committee members laughed at him, and he lost his temper, declaring werewolves to be “soulless, evil, deserving nothing but death.” Consequently, Lyall was expelled from the room, and Greyback was released. But while being seen out by a Ministry wizard, who intended to erase his memory of having been brought in for questioning, Greyback escaped with the help of two accomplices.’‘

Lyall Lupin was (partly) responsible for the imprisonment of three members of what later turned out to be Greyback’s pack.

Both Lyall’s insulting speech and his engagement in the capture of werewolves made Greyback eager to harm him– while the thought of turning Lyall himself came to the werewolf’s wicked mind, he soon realized it would be more effective to hurt the ones he loved.

On February 6, 1965, while Hope and Remus were both asleep and Lyall was completing a report downstairs in his study, “Greyback forced open [Remus]’s bedroom window” with the intention of brutally murdering the boy only to perform the same cruel act on his mother. Remus’ screams were loud, though, and as soon as they were perceived by Lyall, the man apparated into the bedroom and managed to repel Greyback from the premises ‘’with powerful curses’’ before he could achieve his aim. Unfortunately, Lyall hadn’t been able to prevent permanent damage; a deep claw mark, gushing with blood, ran over Remus’ unconscious neck and shoulder. HIS FACE IS LEFT UNSCARRED. A rightfully distressed Hope, barely able to breathe normally, desperately tried to cease the bleeding with her bathrobe. The incident left Remus eternally scarred, both literally and figuratively, as the ruthless disease of lycanthropy now ran through the boy’s bloodstream.  

Both Hope and Lyall instantly went to St. Mungo’s with their son, where they spoke in full confidentiality to a Healer, who only confirmed what Lyall already knew ;  there was no cure for werewolfism known to wizardkind, nor any magical way to fade the scars.

And so life as the Lupin’s were familiar with changed drastically – they moved often, residing mainly in Muggle towns, claiming where ever they went that their son had been attacked by a vicious dog when neighbours noticed the scar in his neck. As soon as whispers would start to spread, suitcases would be packed again.

Remus’ first transformations were in his own room, the most valuable objects moved to the living room. Hope and Lyall never fell into sleep’s arms during those nights– they simply sat there, staring at nothing in particular, trying not to let the howls and growls permeate to their ears. Hope always silently wept.

His mother was usually the first one to enter the room in the morning, only to find the door mutilated by claws and her precious son curled up naked on the wooden floor, asleep or shivering, but always covered in fresh scratches.

Lyall lacked no magical skills, yet was entirely impotent against the one kind of beast he truly feared ; the monster hidden beneath his son’s skin, who imbibed all the boy’s energy and tortured him with no mercy every few weeks. Each time he laid his eyes upon the scarred complexion, extreme guilt would well up and he’d consciously eradicate the memory of ever insulting Greyback, hoping the more often he’d do that, the less real its results became. Hope felt even more powerless– with no magical abilities whatsoever, limited knowledge of the Wizarding World that she hardly felt a part of, and the ignoring glares of Healers who pretended she was nothing but an ignorant piece of furniture, the only way she could really help was by emptying her heart and giving her only son all the love she possessed.

His parents did everything within their capability to find any sort of medication for their son, trying both magical and muggle remedies to alleviate his lycanthropic transformations — but no potion nor antibiotic managed to do so. Hope applied the medical knowledge she’d received from her father when patching up her son after transformations.

Remus had very little to no contact with other children of his age, causing him to be incredibly lonely.

Remus developed a form of anxiety at an extremely early age. Although he was young, he was bright enough to realize his curse was a genuine burden for his parents; he saw it in the way his father faked smiles when he got home after work (if he ever did so) and in his mother’s gloomy eyes that appeared whenever they had to pack their belongings in order to move away again. Shortly after his seventh birthday, Remus ran away from home– not mirroring the classic case of a lost kid who flees from their family because he claims to no longer like them, but rather one of a child who - burning with insecurities and self-doubt - wants to relieve his parents’ suffering by erasing himself from their lives. His father found him two days afterward and, imprisoned by the illness called “concern’’, Lyall had a long and vexed conversation with his son, only to end in a clinging embrace.

When his wolf form grew too powerful and large for the bedroom, Remus and Lyall would monthly travel to forests and other remote areas. His father would stay awake all night to make sure he didn’t wander off too far.

Remus initially did not receive a letter from Hogwarts when he turned 11. Despite not being surprised by the subtle refusal - after all,  what risk is greater than having a young werewolf at an educational institution? - his father was outraged, believing his son was entitled as much as any other child ( if not more ) to quality education and the opportunity to be around peers. It wasn’t until Lyall sent an owl to Albus Dumbledore, thoroughly pleading for Remus to be accepted at Hogwarts and even offering aid in any able manner for the monthly transformations, that Dumbledore apparated at their front door to discuss the possibility of the boy’s admission. Remus was never informed about his father’s action, believing that the Headmaster contacted the Lupin’s entirely of his own accord. This belief would eventually lead to the development of the crucial and virtually blind faith the werewolf would later have in Dumbledore.

During his years at Hogwarts, Remus used the fact that his mother was ill as the excuse for his monthly disappearances. While this wasn’t the main reason, obviously, Hope indeed suffered from a form of lung cancer.  She passed away in 1981.

After Remus’ death, Lyall retired and spent most of his time with his grandson. He passed away in 2019, 38 years after his wife and 17 years after his son.

[the-moon-and-stars-my-love]

The Lupins Part 3: Revenge

Lyall Lupin: @marvelousmisterscamander Hope Lupin: @the-moon-and-stars-my-love

February 15, 1965 - The Lupin household

A month had passed since the trial, and Lyall Lupin had continued to work in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. He continued in his efforts to enforce harsher regulations, especially directed at werewolves. There was no doubting how Lyall Lupin felt about werewolves. However, Lyall kept talk about werewolves to a minimum while at home per Hope’s request because Remus had been having nightmares recently, saying he had seen on staring at him outside his window, sharp teeth glinting in the moonlight.

Monday, February 15, 1965 had been a rainy day, the rain lasting well into the night. The full moon was partially hidden as the clouds moved across the sky. In the Lupin house, a soft patter of rain could be heard on the roof. Remus had been asleep the last few hours, and Hope and Lyall were going to bed at just past midnight. The two were giggling, warm from the tea they had just had and from the happiness of a quiet night together just dancing to music from the muggle radio in their kitchen.

Lyall stepped into their room having just come from the bathroom, watching his wife who was sitting on their bed and pulling her hair away from her face and into a bun. He leaned against the doorframe, his eyes full of fondness. Hope looked up, her face melting into a warm smile as she caught his eyes. She dropped her hands from her hair, letting it tumble back down as Lyall stepped away from the door.

As Lyall was starting to climb onto the bed, they heard a muffled crash from down the hall and the wind seemed to be blowing harder. They both startled, brows furrowed in confusion. Hope looked up at her husband. “Lyall?” Her voice trailed off slowly as she looked towards the door, Lyall reaching for his wand on the nightstand.

Not three seconds later there was a high-pitched scream and Lyall burst into action, running out of the room with Hope only a few steps behind him.

----

Remus Lupin had been sleeping peacefully in his bed, tucked in under his sheets, listening to the quiet sounds of music and his parents voices’ just down the hall mingled with the rain outside. With Lyall and Hope away in their room, there was no way they would have seen the werewolf that watched their home only a few meters away, waiting for the lights in the house to turn off.

Fenrir Greyback, now a werewolf, was illuminated by the light of the full moon. His fur was matted down from the rain, yellow eyes narrowed and lips curled up in a low snarl as he padded his way over to where he knew the window of the boy’s room to be. Fenrir had learned to let his mind give into the wolf, allowing him to be completely aware of his actions and in control, and as he peered into the window, seeing the small form of Lyall Lupin’s son, his anger came back full force and he leaped at the window, breaking the glass. The boy had barely begun to stir when Greyback was upon him, biting his side and then letting his werewolf instincts take over as he attacked Remus.

Lyall reached the bedroom, his wand at the ready. And he was not prepared to see his son being torn at by a wolf - a werewolf, something in his mind supplied as he took in the slightly more human characteristics of the creature. He did not let his thoughts linger on that, nor on the loud scream behind him as Hope ran up behind him and saw what was happening. Lyall’s wand arm was already moving and he was shouting curse after curse at the creature. 

A burst of light hit the creature, pushing it off Remus. It yelped, turning and jumping back out the open window into the night, its shape illuminated by the moonlight and the burst of spells that followed in its wake.

The ringing in Lyall’s ears cleared. He could hear the rain outside, but that was a much fainter sound in comparison to Hope’s distress as she held their bleeding, unconscious son. Her hands looked painted red, and she held Remus close to her, saying his name repeatedly, trying to get him to wake up. Lyall heard her calling for him next, telling him to get help. That Remus was bleeding out. That they needed a Healer. Lyall could feel himself going numb.

He had arrived in time to save his son’s life, driving Greyback out of the house with a number of powerful curses. But the damage was done. It had been done a month ago at the trial, and the effects were only beginning to role in. Lyall felt sick as he turned back to his wife, gathering up their son in his arms and telling Hope to grab onto him. The second he felt her hand on his arm, he apparated them away to St. Mungo’s.

All Lyall could think was that it was just under a month before Remus’ fifth birthday.

[remoonusarchive]

Questioning || Self-para

When: 6th January 1978 Where: The Courts, Ministry of Magic

Being separated was perhaps the worst thing for his anxiety. Worse than the panic over what was going on and the worry of what they might find out during their investigations. The fact that his friends were not by his side -- sharing a hundred words in one look and being a comforting presence -- was horrible. It didn’t help that his questioners clearly thought he was being cheeky, simply for pointing out that there were a hundred ways to knock a person out without leaving evidence behind because they were wizards. He kept up an air of calm as he logically laid out all the ways Peter could have been framed, all the reasons why whatever evidence they thought they had found could have been so easily planted in a school where they all lived on top of each other. He just about stopped himself from rolling his eyes when they brought up past misdemeanours. “None of that is illegal. We were teenagers having fun. You cannot keep us here if your best ‘proof’ is a few detentions for missing curfew or playing some harmless pranks.”

“Describe in your own words what you did the night of the Yule Ball,” the man leading the questioning said.

Remus sighed and shifted in the chair, twitching when his arm brushed one of the chains which was there to detain dangerous criminals. He had been left free much to his relief. “It was as you would expect for a school event like that. I spent time with my friends. There was food and drink and music. I talked to lots of people and then I left early.”

They kept pressing him for more details which he gave as best as he could, though he stumbled when they asked him with whom he had been when he left. When finally with red cheeks he stuttered out that it had been another male student he had taken to his dorm, he finally cast his eyes around at the other people in the trial room, half expecting to see his father staring back at him even though he knew the case had nothing to do with the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures (or at least it didn’t yet. If they found out he was a werewolf it might and they certainly would find out if the boys were still being held here in three weeks time.)

His questioner wasn’t very sympathetic to the fact that Remus had just come out to a room full of strangers. “Who, Mr Lupin?”

“A Ravenclaw. Walden Macnair.” He frowned. So sure had he been that Macnair was involved in the Death Eaters that it was only just now occurring to him that if something had happened whilst the two of them were together then Macnair had an alibi in Remus. Of course he was not naive enough to think there was only one person in Hogwarts who supported Voldemort’s regime but something felt strange about the whole thing.

“This Macnair could confirm you did not return to the Ball?”

“He could,” Remus said, slowly, but he wasn’t so sure that Macnair would. If the roles were reversed, Remus certainly wouldn’t speak up for him. He didn’t trust Macnair enough, didn’t believe them to be on the same side and he wouldn’t leave the safety of the closet just to provide him with an alibi. “We stayed in my dorm and I fell asleep after hearing some of my dormmates return, though I didn’t check who it was at the time. Walden was still there. He left sometime during the night. I woke up to find he had gone and that Peter’s bed was empty.”

“Are you denying knowledge of Mr Pettigrew’s activities?”

Remus glared. “I do not need to deny knowledge. Peter would never have any connection to this. All four of us hate the Dark Arts. I know he would not do this.”

“Do you want to know what I think, Mr Lupin?”

Not really.

“I think that you and your friends were recruited by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named over the summer. Let the records show I am submitting to evidence a statement from Mr Lupin’s father, Mr Lyall Lupin.”

Remus tensed. He wouldn’t. He almost definitely wouldn’t because it had always been one of his fears that Remus would be found out, but then he hadn’t been particularly pleased about Remus’ decision not to register as a werewolf the day he turned seventeen. He tuned into what the questioner was saying just in time to note that the statement was about his frequent travels during the summer as well as Lyall’s belief that he would be staying at Hogwarts for the Christmas holidays and had assumed he would be in Hogsmeade after the school closed, which everybody in the room knew to not be the case.

“I think that those little harmless pranks you mentioned earlier -- harmless, might I add, in the sense that they involve no less than twenty different students being admitted to the Hospital Wing across the span of six years -- have escalated into something darker. Tell me about your relationship with Argus Filch.”

Filch?

Remus shook his head. “He’s the Hogwarts caretaker. There is no relationship.”

“Mr Filch has been named in two-thirds of your detention slips, Mr Lupin, either as the person who caught you or as your target.”

Remus sighed. “I expect that’s the case for most students at Hogwarts. Considering he works in a school, it always astounded me how much Filch seems to hate children.”

“This is not the time for your opinions of the man’s job position, Mr Lupin.”

“You asked what my relationship with him was. My relationship with him is as a student who thinks he hates students.”

“On the fifth of November 1973, you received a detention for setting fireworks off in Mr Filch’s office.”

“It was in celebration of Bonfire Night.”

“Mr Filch was lucky not to be hurt.”

Remus shook his head. “No. It was never going to hurt him. They were Filibuster’s child-safe indoor fireworks. They are charmed to ensure they won’t hurt anybody or anything.”

His questioner narrowed his eyes and continued, slightly louder. “Three of your detentions were for breaking and entering into Mr Filch’s office.”

“That was in first year!” Remus defended himself. He had learnt not to be caught since.

“Perhaps, as you so feel that Mr Filch hates children, you also feel he has it out for you in particular. Is that why you attacked him?”

“I have never--” Remus gaped as he realised what was being implied. “No. That was not us. We have never tried to actually hurt him.”

“Mr Lupin--”

“Can I say my piece to defend myself, now?” he interrupted. “Or are you going to keep throwing conjecture at me?” When it was clear he was going to be allowed to speak, Remus sat up straight. “Yes, I spent a lot of time away from home this summer. It was my last summer of still being a student and I wanted to enjoy it. I was hanging out with my friends. I didn’t always let my parents know where I was going because I’m nineteen and an adult and they didn’t ask. Going to the Potters’ for Christmas was a last minute decision, so again I didn’t tell my parents. I’m legally an adult now and not accountable to them. I won’t be moving back in with them after school, so I considered the summer to be my last months living there.

“Yes, we have been idiots in the past but we have never done anything illegal.” Except not registering -- him as a werewolf, the other three as animagi. “And we would never deliberately try to hurt somebody. We know where to draw the line. We hate the Dark Arts. We would never join him.” It was perhaps not a good idea to say Voldemort out loud, though Remus usually would. People had become awfully twitchy about the name in recent years. “I have no idea how you imagine a group of some of Hogwarts most vocal against the Dark Arts would have been recruited but I know it is merely conjecture on your part because it never happened. As for Halloween, I do not know who attacked Filch but again I was at the Halloween party in the Forbidden Forest with my friends. It wasn’t us and unless you have any good reason to keep me here, I would really like to see my friends now.”

With that, he sat back in the chair and refused to answer any more questions, though it wasn’t long before they led him back to the holding cell he had been in before.

[remuhslupn]

smiling while your heart is bleeding, muffled laughs in a seemingly empty corridor, setting yourself on fire to keep your friends warm, half-healed scars reopened with another wound, tears bleeding down an angel statue.

if you’re looking for REMUS LUPIN, you’ll probably find HIM in the GRYFFINDOR dorm with the rest of the SEVENTH years. they’re the TWENTY year old HALFBLOOD who looks kind of like FROY GUTIERREZ. they seem LOGICAL, PROTECTIVE & FAIR to me, but apparently they’re also DESTRUCTIVE, FAITHLESS & VOLATILE. maybe that’s why their patronus is A WOLF.

links: stats, pinterest triggers: alcoholism, child neglect, emotional manipulation/abuse, domestic abuse

                                                                                                                     BACKGROUND

remus was born to lyall ( a pureblood ) and hope ( a muggle ) lupin on january 22nd. lyall worked at the ministry within the department for the regulation and control of magical creatures and hope was a stay-at-home mum, spending all her time looking after little remus.

for the first five years of his life, remus had a relatively calm childhood — his parents loved and doted on him, he was truly the apple of their eye, and to them, he could do no wrong. hope loved to teach him how to cook, especially baked goods, and lyall would often take remus to the ministry where the little boy would stare wide-eyed at all the inner-workings of the magical world. they were a tight-knit, loving family…  all until fenrir greyback got involved.

in late 1963, fenrir greyback was brought in for questioning after the death of two muggles at the hands of a werewolf. due to the ministry’s complete incompetence, they had no record of greyback being a werewolf, and therefore fell for his whole ‘i’m a muggle thing’. lyall, of course, wasn’t having it, and after trying to convince the committee in control of the case that he was sure greyback was a werewolf ( to no avail ) lost his temper and called all werewolves ‘soulless, evil, deserving nothing but death’.

fenrir, having been in the room at the time, grew furious, and after escaping from the ministry’s hands decided to exact his revenge. thus on january 17th, 1964, fenrir broke into the lupin household and bit little remus lupin, turning him into a werewolf.

the family immediately started to spiral. lyall threw himself into his work, trying absolutely everything he could to find a cure for lycanthropy. hope grew distant from her son, too afraid to even touch him for fear of what he might do. at only five years of age, remus of course didn’t understand what all the fuss was even about, he couldn’t possibly fathom what had thrown his family into such chaos — that is, of course, until his first transition. 

remus will always remember the first time he turned. pain doesn’t even begin to describe it. it was as if every cell in his body had been cut into a million pieces and then set on fire and he was expected to deal with the pain all on his own. 

[ CHILD NEGLECT TW with no cure feasibly in sight, lyall and hope had locked remus away in the basement for three days starting from the day of the full moon, unsure how the lycanthropy would present itself. at first, remus protested, scared and alone while he suffered through the worst pain of his life, but as the scratch marks began to show themselves on the wood of the room, he started to think ill of even himself and even encouraged his parents to lock him away. END TW ]

despite lyall and hope insisting that they would always love their little boy and they would always love each other, the curse began to take its toll on everyone.

with lyall spending 20 hours a day at the ministry to try and find a cure, hope grew restless and even more terrified of her own son, insisting that they move any time someone inquired about the noises coming from their basement. as a muggle, she had always found it hard to adjust to a wizarding lifestyle, but having a werewolf for a son proved to be too much and so shortly after remus turned nine, hope ran away without so much as a trace. 

[ CHILD NEGLECT, ALCOHOLISM TW although it was clear that lyall had fallen out of love with both his wife and his son during the four years he’d thrown himself into his work, the disappearance of hope was still a massive shock for him. lyall positively hated that he would now have to raise a werewolf all on his own, and now having given up trying to find a cure for lycanthropy, turned his emotions towards the liquor cabinet. 

at just nine years of age, remus had no friends, no mother, an alcoholic father and still he had to deal with a transition every single month — i guess you can say that he wasn’t doing too great. END TW ]

[ EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION TW for as long as he can remember, however, remus has never blamed his parents for hating him — especially his father. even when lyall would throw bottles and yell nasty things at his very own son, remus would always just bite his tongue and accept that he deserved it. after all, his parents had never asked for a werewolf son. END TW ] and so he always tried his absolute best to please his father, which is why he worked hard at just eleven years of age with headmaster dumbledore to ensure that he would have a safe space at hogwarts to make his father proud.

honestly, lyall didn’t even care about the education his son was going to get — he just wanted some time alone to not have to deal with a werewolf every four weeks.  

first starting at hogwarts, remus found it incredibly difficult to find his place. he’d been sorted into gryffindor in no time, but he couldn’t really understand how it was he could belong with these confident, rambunctious students. he’d always thought himself to be a shy, quiet kid — turns out he just hadn’t met the right people. for as soon as he’d been bunked with james, sirius and peter, the real remus started to show itself.

with no one trying to run away from him or curse him with nasty names, remus found a certain level of confidence within the school walls. he was intelligent, popular, and frankly fun and the fact that he had to disappear for a few days every month ( ‘my father’s sick again’ ) never stopped him from making friends. 

the only thing that mattered was that they couldn’t know about that part of him — because if they knew, then they would have to be burdened with it, and there was no possible way remus could handle another person hating him like his father did.

after forming a bond with the boys closer than he had ever felt, it was really just a matter of time before they noticed the pattern in remus’ disappearances and in his behaviour — and when they confronted him in their second year with their correct assumption, remus was positively terrified. he tried to convince them that he would stay away, that he didn’t mean any harm, that he was sorry they knew, but instead of being disgusted, the boys were accepting, and after getting over the initial shock of having someone who still loved him as a werewolf, he grew to be grateful for having someone by his side through it all.

of course, he’s still absolutely terrified to this day that one day they’ll change their minds and leave just as his mother did, and so still every full moon he tries to convince them that they don’t have to come, but they have showed no signs of wavering and just wow he loves his boys.

[ EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION TW after sirius escaped from home in their sixth year, there was a lot of weight put onto remus’ shoulders about whether he would leave his own home, too. his friends knew that it wasn’t a safe environment for him to be in, but after years of lyall twisting with his emotions, remus felt a sick bond to his father and couldn’t possibly see why he should leave. he wanted his father to be proud of him, to be happy, and he tried every summer to make this work — and perhaps it never would. but that didn’t matter to remus. because frankly, he couldn’t see that. END TW ]

                                                                                                                       PERSONALITY

remus would do literally anything for his friends. they are his family, they are his lifeline, and they are a big part of who he is today. his loyalty and protective nature is unwavering, and he’s often been labelled the Dad of his group for this.

despite the fact that so many people have proven him wrong, remus has little faith in people’s humanity. first, there had to be someone who did this to him. second, there were people in the ministry who treated his father like trash for what his son had been cursed with. third, he sees the mistreatment of muggles and muggleborns every day and he just has to ask why. it takes a lot for one to prove themselves to remus, simply because he is of little faith.

he channels a lot of his self-loathing and destructive thoughts into humour and sarcasm. he loves dry humour and he loves pranks, and you can rest assured that he is the mastermind behind 99% of the marauders shenanigans. he’s seriously the epitome of that when life gives you lemons vine guy, like just that ‘depressed teens’ humour is just… so him.

[theprophet-upinsmoke]

                        DEATH FINDS MINISTRY EMPLOYEE

August 27, 1980

After being reported missing a few days by coworkers following his failure to turn up at work, the body of Lyall Lupin was found by a group of muggle children playing in the woods not far from Lupin’s home in Cardigan, Wales. His body was badly damaged from wildlife and the element and the cause of his death has yet to be released, but the motivation is presumed to be political.

Lyall Lupin was an employee for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures and was instrumental for the passing of the Creature Bill back in April, something that’s due to be reconsidered in the following week. Another loud voice associated with the bill was that of Camilla Fawley, who readers may recall was brutally murdered at work, leading some to believe that the advocates for creature registration are now being targeted by the halfbreeds they sought to protect society from.

@upinsmoke-rp

[remuhslupns]

❛ everything my mother prayed i wouldn’t be, i became. ❜

( froy gutierrez, twenty-one, cisman ) my goodness, is remus lupin back? it’s been a few years since the halfblood has been around the castle, but i’d recognize him anywhere. rumor has it the seventh year spent the past few years aligned with the order. they’re still logical & protective and destructive & faithless, though. and the gryffindor still reminds me of smiling while your heart is bleeding, muffled laughs in a seemingly empty corridor, setting yourself on fire to keep your friends warm. well, then, i guess some things never change. 

links: stats, pinterest triggers: alcoholism, child neglect, emotional manipulation/abuse, domestic abuse

                                                                                                                   BACKGROUND

remus was born to lyall ( a pureblood ) and hope ( a muggle ) lupin on january 22nd, 1959. lyall worked at the ministry within the department for the regulation and control of magical creatures and hope was a stay-at-home mum, spending all her time looking after little remus.

for the first five years of his life, remus had a relatively calm childhood — his parents loved and doted on him, he was truly the apple of their eye, and to them, he could do no wrong. hope loved to teach him how to cook, especially baked goods, and lyall would often take remus to the ministry where the little boy would stare wide-eyed at all the inner-workings of the magical world. they were a tight-knit, loving family…  all until fenrir greyback got involved.

in late 1963, fenrir greyback was brought in for questioning after the death of two muggles at the hands of a werewolf. due to the ministry’s complete incompetence, they had no record of greyback being a werewolf, and therefore fell for his whole ‘i’m a muggle thing’. lyall, of course, wasn’t having it, and after trying to convince the committee in control of the case that he was sure greyback was a werewolf ( to no avail ) lost his temper and called all werewolves ‘soulless, evil, deserving nothing but death’. 

fenrir, having been in the room at the time, grew furious, and after escaping from the ministry’s hands decided to exact his revenge. thus on january 17th, 1964, fenrir broke into the lupin household and bit little remus lupin, turning him into a werewolf.

the family immediately started to spiral. lyall threw himself into his work, trying absolutely everything he could to find a cure for lycanthropy. hope grew distant from her son, too afraid to even touch him for fear of what he might do. at only five years of age, remus of course didn’t understand what all the fuss was even about, he couldn’t possibly fathom what had thrown his family into such chaos — that is, of course, until his first transition.

remus will always remember the first time he turned. pain doesn’t even begin to describe it. it was as if every cell in his body had been cut into a million pieces and then set on fire and he was expected to deal with the pain all on his own. 

[ CHILD NEGLECT TW with no cure feasibly in sight, lyall and hope had locked remus away in the basement for three days starting from the day of the full moon, unsure how the lycanthropy would present itself. at first, remus protested, scared and alone while he suffered through the worst pain of his life, but as the scratch marks began to show themselves on the wood of the room, he started to think ill of even himself and even encouraged his parents to lock him away. END TW ]

despite lyall and hope insisting that they would always love their little boy and they would always love each other, the curse began to take its toll on everyone.

with lyall spending 20 hours a day at the ministry to try and find a cure, hope grew restless and even more terrified of her own son, insisting that they move any time someone inquired about the noises coming from their basement. as a muggle, she had always found it hard to adjust to a wizarding lifestyle, but having a werewolf for a son proved to be too much and so shortly after remus turned nine, hope ran away without so much as a trace.

[ CHILD NEGLECT, ALCOHOLISM TW although it was clear that lyall had fallen out of love with both his wife and his son during the four years he’d thrown himself into his work, the disappearance of hope was still a massive shock for him. lyall positively hated that he would now have to raise a werewolf all on his own, and now having given up trying to find a cure for lycanthropy, turned his emotions towards the liquor cabinet.

at just nine years of age, remus had no friends, no mother, an alcoholic father and still he had to deal with a transition every single month — i guess you can say that he wasn’t doing too great. END TW ]

[ EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION TW for as long as he can remember, however, remus has never blamed his parents for hating him — especially his father. even when lyall would throw bottles and yell nasty things at his very own son, remus would always just bite his tongue and accept that he deserved it. after all, his parents had never asked for a werewolf son. END TW ] and so he always tried his absolute best to please his father, which is why he worked hard at just eleven years of age with headmaster dumbledore to ensure that he would have a safe space at hogwarts to make his father proud.

honestly, lyall didn’t even care about the education his son was going to get — he just wanted some time alone to not have to deal with a werewolf every four weeks.  

first starting at hogwarts, remus found it incredibly difficult to find his place. he’d been sorted into gryffindor in no time, but he couldn’t really understand how it was he could belong with these confident, rambunctious students. he’d always thought himself to be a shy, quiet kid — turns out he just hadn’t met the right people. for as soon as he’d been bunked with james, sirius and peter, the real remus started to show itself.

with no one trying to run away from him or curse him with nasty names, remus found a certain level of confidence within the school walls. he was intelligent, popular, and frankly fun and the fact that he had to disappear for a few days every month ( ‘my father’s sick again’ ) never stopped him from making friends. 

the only thing that mattered was that they couldn’t know about that part of him — because if they knew, then they would have to be burdened with it, and there was no possible way remus could handle another person hating him like his father did.

after forming a bond with the boys closer than he had ever felt, it was really just a matter of time before they noticed the pattern in remus’ disappearances and in his behaviour — and when they confronted him in their second year with their correct assumption, remus was positively terrified. he tried to convince them that he would stay away, that he didn’t mean any harm, that he was sorry they knew, but instead of being disgusted, the boys were accepting, and after getting over the initial shock of having someone who still loved him as a werewolf, he grew to be grateful for having someone by his side through it all.

of course, he’s still absolutely terrified to this day that one day they’ll change their minds and leave just as his mother did, and so still every full moon he tries to convince them that they don’t have to come, but they have showed no signs of wavering and just wow he loves his boys.

[ EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION TW after sirius escaped from home in their sixth year, there was a lot of weight put onto remus’ shoulders about whether he would leave his own home, too. his friends knew that it wasn’t a safe environment for him to be in, but after years of lyall twisting with his emotions, remus felt a sick bond to his father and couldn’t possibly see why he should leave. he wanted his father to be proud of him, to be happy, and he tried every summer to make this work — and perhaps it never would. but that didn’t matter to remus. because frankly, he couldn’t see that. END TW ]

at the beginning of remus’ sixth year, whispers started to follow him at every corner. talk, gossip, hushed confessions of fear. did you know remus lupin is a werewolf? everyone around remus tried to convince him that it was just rumours, that no one actually knew if it was true or not, but that didn’t stop the whispers from spreading like wildfire, and the fear was beginning to build.

to anyone who asked, remus was fine. no one really knew the truth and that was enough to keep him safe. but deep down, the thought that everyone might know terrified him. he’d already feared for what his best friends might think, what was the rest of the school going to think? he was a monster and now, maybe, they knew. and they had every right to be scared of him. he was even considering leaving hogwarts when the worst happened...

the battle at hogwarts wasn’t really a shock to remus -- he had seen the tension brewing from a mile away, and it was only a matter of time before the pot boiled over into the supposedly safe kept school. what shocked remus the most was that it had the power to shut down the school -- the one and only place remus had ever felt safe and loved. at least for the first five years.

with the rumours only going stronger and the fear building in the air around him, remus tried his best to stay away from what was left of the school, to live with his father and lay low while he decided what to do before school returned, and if he was even going to return.

[ DOMESTIC ABUSE TW however, lyall had other plans. with the rumours reaching even the ministry, all eyes were pointed to the man who claimed to hate werewolves and yet now lived with one. lyall’s anger grew, his obsession with whiskey only got worse, and the bruises he left on remus’ arms were enough for remus’ friends to plead with him to leave. END TW] very reluctantly, remus moved into the order safehouses after nine months of living with his father, occasionally returning home to lyall, though the visits grew scarce as the rumours continued to swirl.

even in the supposed ‘safehouse’, remus was kept partially isolated. everyone was afraid of what might happen should he be pushed back into the public eye -- would the rumours get worse? would the fear lead to danger? and exactly who was in danger at that point -- the fearful student or the devastated werewolf himself?

having been isolated for three years, the rumours have somewhat died down for the time being, and it is this alone which allowed remus to return to hogwarts once the doors were once again opened. surely it will get bad again, but for the time being, remus has always valued his education -- and he wants to finish it. no one knows how long this arrangement might last and whether or not he’ll finish his schooling is still up in the air, but for now, he’s back in the public eye -- and ever so fearful of the consequences. 

                                                                                                                      PERSONALITY

remus would do literally anything for his friends. they are his family, they are his lifeline, and they are a big part of who he is today. his loyalty and protective nature is unwavering, and he’s often been labelled the Dad of his group for this.

despite the fact that so many people have proven him wrong, remus has little faith in people’s humanity. first, there had to be someone who did this to him. second, there were people in the ministry who treated his father like trash for what his son had been cursed with. third, he sees the mistreatment of muggles and muggleborns every day and he just has to ask why. it takes a lot for one to prove themselves to remus, simply because he is of little faith.

he channels a lot of his self-loathing and destructive thoughts into humour and sarcasm. he loves dry humour and he loves pranks, and you can rest assured that he is the mastermind behind 99% of the marauders shenanigans. he’s seriously the epitome of that when life gives you lemons vine guy, like just that ‘depressed teens’ humour is just… so him.

[maraudersandlily20]

Enough

Remus felt as though all of the air in the room had been sucked out. His lungs contracted but could take in no new oxygen. Spots swam in front of his eyes and if there had ever been a time he had wanted to die, it was now.

“That’s not true,” He whispered, his voice hoarse. Moody looked apologetic, as if he wished he could take back his brash comments. But he couldn’t. The truth was suddenly out in the open, and Remus was clearly hearing it for the first time. He stood, swaying, as he got to his feet. His mind was swimming. The pressure against his ears made him feel like he was under water. He wished he was, instead of being there.

Remus staggered away from the group meeting, pulling out his wand, not sure what he intended to do. All he knew is who he needed to see.

“Potter! Grab the boy. I think he may lose consciousness.” Moody’s gruff voice seemed garbled, like Remus could almost hear it but not quite. Suddenly, James appeared in Remus’ eyesight, having heard the commotion from the kitchen.

“Moony? Are you alright?” Was there cotton in his ears, Remus thought. Why couldn’t he hear anyone right?

“I have to see him.” He said. James grabbed onto him, leading him out of the small cottage and into the fresh air. Feeling the oxygen surround him loosened the tension in Remus’ chest and he drew in his first deep breath in sometime. James’ hand was gently rubbing Remus’ back, try to soothe him, though he had no idea what had happened. Remus’ eyes found his friend’s. “I have to see him, James. I have to know if it’s true.”

“What are you talking about?”

He shook his head, closing his eyes against the possibility of it being true. “I… I have to see my father.”

James stared at Remus, watching as he tried, in vain, to calm his breathing and to stay up right. He had no idea what Moody had said to him, but it had rattled him more than James had thought possible. Seeing how determined he was, James took a deep breath. “Alright, Moony. We’ll go see your father.”

James pulled out his wand. He tried to recall every detail of his friend’s father’s home, and prayed that he would get them where they needed. Not knowing if Remus could handle the apparation alone, he wrapped his arm around his chest and quietly demanded that Remus hold on. He did.

The next moment, they were standing at the front of an old white gate that surrounded a small cottage, a vegetable garden, and a little fountain. James was grateful he had been able to get them safely there, though Remus’ state scared him more than he could admit.

Remus staggered forward, out of James’ arms, and pushed through the gate.

“DAD!” He yells, startling some birds on the roof. It was an eerie place in this lighting, James thought, when in the past it had always looked homely and warm. He followed his friend into the small yard.

Suddenly, the front door opened, and out stepped Remus’ father. James had only met the man a few times during their friendship. He was a widower and who didn’t much like visitors, Remus had always excused. James thought he looked exactly like a quiet, shy widower would. He wore a grey collared shirt and a tan cardigan with patches. Lily would have said he looked like a history professor. He was as quiet looking as humanly possible, and James wondered if he was even real.

Remus loved his father, greatly, and spoke very highly of his intellect and his kindness. But Remus was shaking, and he looked terribly upset.

“Hello, my light. I didn’t know to expect you, or I would have put on some tea.”

There was no answer from his son, as if he wasn’t quite sure what to say. Remus stared at his father, trying to understand how this could have happened.

Lyall cleared his throat and smiled at James. “Hello, young Potter. A pleasure to see you again.”

“And you, Mr. Lupin.”

Lyall smiled. “Well, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

And then Remus found his voice. “Is it true?”

There was a stunned silence, and James gathered that Remus had never spoken to his father in such a manner. His voice was harsh and his words bitter, his shoulders looking so tense that it appeared as if he would simply snap.

“Is what true, my darling?”

“IS IT TRUE? Is it true that, just after my fifth birthday, you were called to a trial for Fenrir Greyback and spoke against werewolves? Is it true that your sheer bigotry toward an entire magical race fueled him forward in his decision to attack your only child and change him to what you hated? Is it true that the reason-” Remus’ voice cracked as tears spilled down his face. “The reason that I am what I am is because of you?”

Silence, again, as both James and Lyall soaked in that accusations that Remus had hurled so violently toward his father.

It was a painful silence, the one that was full of secrets and misunderstanding, of deceit and lies. The kind of silence that ruined people.

Lyall sighed, his face becoming crestfallen and the life appeared to be drained out of him. “Why don’t you both come inside and we’ll have some tea. We can talk about it.”

“I don’t want tea,” Remus spat.

Lyall looked up suddenly, a fire in his eyes that James did not think him capable of. “Nevertheless, Remus John Lupin, you will come into this house, you will sit down quietly, and you will listen to your father until I have said what I have to say. Do you understand?” They stared each other down until Remus huffed and pushed past his father into the house. James followed behind, a sheepish expression on his face, feeling the tension surround him as he walked through the door. Lyall shook his head and patted him on the back, letting him know he wasn’t at fault.

The three sat at the kitchen table, none of them looking at each other in the eyes. James, after some awkward seconds, stood to grab some water. He meandered into the kitchen and pulled a cup from the cupboard. And then he heard Lyall speak.

“I wish I could blame it all on them. Not the werewolves, mind you. I know better than to place the blame on them. I mean, “the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures”. They were a committee of talented men and I was one of the youngest among them.

“Your mother called it a great honor, which it was. She knew how hard I worked to be the top in my field. And I was receiving recognition for everything I had done, and it felt good. I got a well paying position in the ministry, I had colleagues who I respected, and I had you and your mother. By all means, the perfect life.”

He took a deep steadying breath and James walked closer, leaning against the kitchen counter, and studied the man. He looked as if he had aged 10 years just with those few sentences, and it dawned on James that Lyall Lupin had been carrying this painful secret, whatever it was, for a very long time. “I shouldn’t have even been on the committee, it wasn’t even in my field of study. They pulled us together because they needed experts and opinions, but they didn’t need singular opinions. The committee was created to discuss and interrogate a man who claimed to be a muggle. He had witnessed the murder of two muggle children by werewolves and our job as the committee was to understand why the wolves were provoked, and, more importantly, why they left this man alive.”

“He was a wonderful actor,” Lyall said, his voice tinged with bitterness. “Quick on his feet with a silver tongue. He spun a marvelous tale of his terror, the bloody crime and his idea to hide himself. However, I knew a little better.

“I was never an expert on werewolves, and I still don’t claim to be, even after all I have learned. But I wasn’t stupid. I knew enough about werewolves that I knew they would have smelled him out, especially if they were in the blood-lust.” Lyall looked at his son for a moment. “I have seen first hand how blood-lust takes over wolves.” At this, Remus looked down at his scarred hands, his face darkening at some memory that James wasn’t partial to. It was too personal, too close to home, but it was too late to turn back now. Lyall continued. “His story didn’t add up with what we knew about werewolves and so I was thrown into doubt.

“And then, I started paying attention to his behavior. That meeting happened barely 24 hours before the full moon. The wolves always get twitchy before then. He couldn’t keep still, always bouncing his leg or tapping his fingers. Other members said that it was just him being nervous, having no idea that wizards existed, and suddenly being faced with the magical world. It’s enough to make any muggle nervous. But I could see it.”

The father reached over and covered his son’s hands with his own until Remus looked up at him. “As you grew older, Remus, it was clear that the wolf was gaining more control over your body when the moon came. You were always up and moving. It drove your mother mad. But you couldn’t stop yourself, almost like the wolf in you was mere seconds from breaking out.”

He paused, his eyes drifting to the back wall, becoming unfocused, almost as if he was recalling every small detail of the day, as if he could still see the man being questioned. He could look at it now through a lens of understanding, and compare what he knew now to what he had seen then. “It looked the same with him. And then, of course there were the scars. He claimed he had been in some freak accident as a child, but those scars…” Lyall quietly traced one of the scars that ran against the back of Remus’ hand. “They only come from ripping yourself apart once a month. And some were much newer than others.

“The last thing I noticed were the eyes. Werewolves eyes become more animalistic as the moon comes. They turn a bright yellow and get that reflecting ability that animals have. I noticed it and I was as far from him as possible.”

Lyall stood and turned away from them both, and James felt as though the moment of truth was coming. The accusations Remus had thrown at his father were serious, and James could feel that perhaps this was the moment that Lyall admitted to whatever horrible thing he had done. “I decided to speak up. We were going to obliviate him anyway, perhaps we should keep him in custody one more night. The moon was in 24 hours, and if he wasn’t a wolf, then no harm no foul. Better to be safe.

“They wrote me off. “Keep to yourself, Lupin” they said. “Stick to boggarts and sprites. You’re out of your depth when it comes to lycanthropy.” They were right of course, but they were all out of their depth as well. There was so much about lycanthropy that we didn’t know and keeping an updated log of active werewolves had fallen way down our list of priorities in that time. But, still. There were worries about the growing werewolf population.”

Lyall stopped and took a deep breath, hands buried deep in his pockets, before turning to face the both of them once again. His eyes were solemn and full of anguish. “I regretted the words as soon as I said them. I knew that they were wrong, that they were bred out of fear, prejudice, and a sense of superiority. I had grown up in a world where wizards were the top of the magical creature food chain and we had no time for creatures that killed and blew our cover. I had been raised in cruelty and that cultivated in me a hatred for anything that was different from me. I know better now, and if I could go back and change what happened, I would.”

“I said, in my arrogance and anger, that werewolves were inherently evil and only deserved death. Even as I said them, I knew they were wrong. But I had unleashed a fury in me that I never knew existed.”  He returned to his seat, clasping his hands tightly on top of the table, not able to look up at meet his son’s eyes. “ To be so prejudice against people for things they can’t control,” His words faded as he looked up, first at James and then to Remus. “That is what it means to be a coward.” His words held the conviction of lessons learned through experience.

“I wish I had seen his face. In that moment. I wish that the eyes of the room had been on him and not me. I can only imagine the disgust on his face at my words. For who was I to condemn an entire people to death? Who was I, indeed, than anything more than an angry wizard with prejudice bred into me. I would have hated me too.” He shook his head in disgust at his past self’s actions.

“I was escorted out of the committee and he was released. And by then, it was too late. He returned to his pack and they discussed the plan to ruin my life. To take from me the thing I loved most. You. It was simple research, really. They found where we lived, that your mother was a muggle, that you had just had your fifth birthday. They knew it all. And late at night, when we all had gone to bed, he broke into your room.

And he tried to kill you.”

The room around them was coated in silence at the words. James had no idea the circumstances of Remus’ transformation, but it was a horror story he never had thought he would have to deal with. He walked over to the table, finally leaving his place in the kitchen, and grabbed onto Remus’ hands, who responded in kind. Remus looked sick and his tight grip on his best friend made his knuckles turn white. After a moment, he took a steadying breath and looked back toward his father.

Lyall studied his son and must have seen in him some conviction, some determination to know the truth, because, for the briefest of moments, he smiled. “You screamed, of course. Months after, you were still sleeping in our bed, from the pain and the nightmares. How cruel to make so young a child experience that pain. I stopped him from killing you, but it didn’t matter. You were changed, and there was nothing we could do to help you except endure it.”

Lyall’s smile turned to one of regret. He wiped across his mouth, as if trying to remove a bitter taste, but he kept that sad smile. “You’re right, Remus,” he whispered. “It was because of me. I am the reason you are the way you are. It was because of my cruelty and my arrogance that you were targeted. Had I said nothing, had I just left it alone, this never would have happened to you. It is my fault. I am the cause of your pain.”

Remus couldn’t help himself. He reached his hand out and grabbed onto his father’s arm in a comforting gesture. Lyall patted his hand, looking that same kind of sad through a smile. He looked over to Remus, tears in his eyes. “So often I find myself thinking what I would do if I could go back. Back to that moment, when I said those awful words. I try to think what I would do differently. I wouldn’t yell or shout or try to expose him. If I could go back, all I would do is look that man in the eye, take his hand, and tell him I was sorry. So sorry, for everything he had endured, everything he had to go through. And I would beg for his forgiveness on behalf of a world that hated simply for being different. If I had treated him with kindness instead of cruelty, perhaps the world would not suffer as it does now.”

James was crying in earnest as the story reached its bitter conclusion and he could barely contain himself. The tears in Remus’ eyes were evident as well. It was a painful thing to hear, on all accounts.

“I am sorry, my light, that I have lied to you about it all these years. But I simply couldn’t be the reason for your pain. It hurt too much to watch you suffer as you did without wanting to kill myself. Having you hate me on top of all of that pain... I am not sure either you or I could have born it. You are right, Remus. I am the cause of all of this. And more. I have not been the kind of father you needed, despite all of my attempts to be so. And I am so sorry.” Lyall was staring into Remus’s eyes, his sincerity shining through as he gave the apology he had always wanted to give his son but never had had the courage to do so. Until now. “I hope you can forgive me. If not for being the cause of your pain, at least for being a coward. I just loved you too much to want to cause you additional pain. I see now that that was wrong of me. You deserved the truth. You still deserve the truth.”

It was silent as the words settled over the three men. The weight of the revelation was a great burden on all of them. Remus stood suddenly, avoiding his father in the eyes. “I need some air,” He said, trying to keep his composure. He walked quickly out the front door and stood, bent over, in the garden.

Lyall looked to James. “Check on him, will you? He needs someone now.”

James nodded, looking at Lyall with compassion. He couldn’t even imagine the feelings of guilt the older man must have experienced for so long. James made his way to the garden, stopping right next to Remus’ hunched over figure. There was silence between them, but the world went on. Noises of birds and crickets filled the air and the tall grass waved in the wind. Finally, James spoke.

“Why “my light”?” He asked.

Remus sucked in a deep breath before straightening himself. “My father loved taking me out to look at the stars during the new moon. I once told him the sky was prettier with the light of the moon. He disagreed and said “you are the most beautiful light here, my boy. You are my light.”” Remus chuckled, and James was glad to hear there wasn’t any bitterness in it. “He was always the sappiest of all of us.”

They stood side by side, admiring the rolling hills in front of them for a few moments. It was a peaceful day, almost like the world was showing them that it would keep turning, no matter what they learned there.

“I almost didn’t go to Hogwarts.” Remus said, his voice quiet. “There weren’t many options to keep Lycanthropy contained, and my father was worried that I wouldn’t be safe at school. He always made sure to emphasize that it was about my safety, never talking about any of the other students, though they should have been the worry. My father just cared about me. He had every intention to see my magical school through at home.”

“What happened? What changed?”

Remus smiled. “Albus Dumbledore himself arrived at our house and he and my father had a long discussion over two cups of tea about how they could make it work. How I could attend Hogwarts safely and keep everyone else alive in the process. Albus constantly assured him that they would take care of me and that the rest of the students would be safe and wouldn’t know anything of my condition. But my father…” Remus looked over at James, an identical sad smile to Lyall’s covering his face. “He said to the great Albus Dumbledore, “I’m not worried about the other students, Albus. We are discussing my son. That is all that matters to me.””

“Your father is a good man, Remus. He made mistakes, and he’s been paying for them all of his life. But he’s trying. You are his son and he loves you. Even I can see that.”

There was a moment and then Remus shook his head. “I’m not mad at him. Not really. And though the way he was raised should not be an excuse for his actions, I can understand why he said what he said. Underneath it all, I think he had good intentions. He just wanted to keep people safe. He’s always wanted that. It’s just… what he does.”

It was a strange moment, James thought. Remus seemed to be trying to wrap his mind around the onslaught of new information and James wasn’t sure how to help. There wasn’t really anything he could do. He had never been very good at comforting people before in situations like this. Sirius would be better support for him.

“Do you… do you want me to get Sirius for you?” Remus was already shaking his head before he even finished the sentence.

“No. He wouldn’t understand. And really, I’m not angry. I mean, a part of me is because he never told me. I had to hear it from Moody first, and no one should ever hear such big revelations from the mouth of Mad-eye Moody. But… then again, I understand why he didn’t. Growing up was never easy. My parents loved me more than I ever could have hoped for. I didn’t have to worry about being loved. We moved around a lot, to keep hidden, but I always had them. I was… content with my parents. If I had learned back then that my father’s prejudice against lycanthropy was the cause of my own disease... it would have become a tool of vindication and guilt. I would have used it against him to get what I thought I needed. But I didn’t know. All I knew was that I had a father and a mother who loved me very much and wanted to keep me and the rest of the world safe.” He ran a hand through his hair, breathing out. “He always wanted to keep me safe, James. He just… didn’t always go about it in the right way.”

“You forgive him?”

Remus looked back at his father’s house and shut his eyes. In that moment, he imagined what his life would have been like if this hadn’t been a secret. He imagined the arguments that would have happened and the distrust that would have ensued. And then he imagined a life where he didn’t forgive his father. How lonely the both of them would be now if Remus held on tightly to the anger that had brought him here. He hated what that looked like and knew it wasn’t what he wanted.

“Enough,” he whispered, walking back toward the house to find his father, to make things right between them once again.

[remuslxpns]

The Room Where It Happens

Band of murders. Monsters. Destroyer of everything, of hopes, of dreams. It was just one thought, repeating itself with vitriol and hatred, over and over again. Remus knew it was what some had thought about werewolves for centuries but knew it was being surfaced in a harsh light. It consumed him; a low hiss that pounded through his skull and threatened to overwhelm his senses.  Soulless, evil, deserving nothing but death.

There was one thing Remus Lupin knew; one crystal clear thought that rung true above all of his doubts and confusion. Marlene McKinnon was deceased; mutilated with nothing more than the broken shell of her remains left for the deranged wolf. The thought of his friend–a member of his childhood and trust–being reduced to a chew toy for a wolf in the throes of war and it had been enough to cause his blood to boil and his patience wearing thin.

Remus brows furrowed together and his brain worked at a rapid pace to piece together the loose strands of information he’d gathered over the last week. Peter Dorcas, and Arthur, still missing in action and had no updates. Marlene, killed during a brutal attack and being left with nothing but a blood bath. Regulus left with a blood message. Now, this.

Every atom in the air seemed tight as Remus’ eyes darted over the pages of the Daily Prophet. He had been warned this would happen at the headline only mocked him in return. Remus sucked in a sharp breath, scanning the blurred lines and trying to make sense of it all. Lyall Lupin. The familiar twitch of frustration thrummed in his chest as he continued reading, clutching the pages more tightly in his hands. The last paragraphs of being either registered or detained caused Remus to pull away very suddenly, as if he had been burned, and climbed to his feet. Running a shaky hand through his hair and averting his gaze from the newspaper, Remus swore under his breath. He could feel his chest rise and fall unevenly, his lungs feeling too tight to even attempt to breath through this.

All that existed in that space was forcing all of these angry sensations to simmer down as he cast one last gaze at the Prophet. If Remus was going to have his piece of mind about this then he needed to play his cards right. He couldn’t react viciously again, not when he could be arrested to go to Azkaban  on the precipice of something more. His father held the potential to ruin his life some more and he mercifully and meticulously crafted this with Camilla and the others in the department no doubt. So he tried to ignore the sickening feeling in his gut to protect his instincts to go to Wales and see his father. His heart was racing at an alarming rate and he slowed his mind down enough. His father would not be in Wales at this time and be at the Ministry instead.

The gears in his mind were pumping faster than ever now, and Remus found himself losing a harness of his senses. Usually he was adapt to be sensible and be realistic but he was not naive to his emotions. After the homicides of the other wolves, the Wizarding community would be less likely to trust every werewolf they came across.

And as Remus glanced down at the newspaper he now picked up again and held loosely in his hand, he knew what he had to do. He needed to be in there; the room where all of it had happened. Gripping the newspaper tightly in one hand, Remus let it crumble to the ground deceased. Remus grit his teeth and carefully inserted himself into the fireplace and plunged the powder down at his feet before disappearing.

It had only been a few days since Remus was at the Ministry last but never had he set foot in the Regulation of Magical Creatures Department. But Remus pushed through the doors and his mind snapped, his blood freezing to ice and his heart thudding with anger against his rib cage. It had been since his mother’s funeral in winter that Remus was face-to-face with his father. They were strangers tied to the same name despite the seasons changing. The creature bill being passed only reached another step in the history and turmoil brewing between them for years. So many years had Remus heard his father enforce the idea that he was doing what he thought was right for Remus. It never had been and Remus never considered his father had his best interests at heart except for his own selfish feelings. His mind was having a hard exercise of trying to control his emotions that felt more like a weapon now than anything. He was a danger to himself. A monster.

The room seemed to still when they finally realized Remus was standing there. The sound of murmurs were spoken softly and papers ruffling seemed to drift off. He realized the department must be having a field day with their recent regulations and Remus had not expected any eyes on him. But his eyes sought his father out who was standing with his back turned and Remus fumbled with his words.

It seemed to dawn on Lyall that his offices’ attention was being spread elsewhere and he turned to face Remus. Lyall blinked, the fog clearing a little and from his expression he was expecting Remus to be there. Remus could still feel the draw to how his body was burning with rigid anger. In that moment he stared blankly at his father, his words twisting like the knots in his stomach. For years, Remus knew his father resented him and did not try to think it more than what it was. The registration being passed and with his name attached was a violation of what he thought his father was. The last pieces of his father were stacked away in the lines of the act.

Remus tried to open his mouth at first, but nothing incoherent words were made possible. Lyall murmured something to someone beside him before waving them off. The room seemed to follow and continue at their pace before Remus’ presence interrupted them. His father was approaching him now and Remus’ throat felt like it had been stuffed with cotton balls.

“Remus,” Lyall said kindly, a shimmer of worry in his eyes. “What are you doing here?”

Remus felt haunted by the words and fell silent, confusion swelling in him. Why was he there? There were many parables of why he was there and he didn’t understand why his father did not know. The registration flashed in the back of his mind and he only stared in return with anger tinting his gaze. The silence was misconstrued for a response and Lyall nodded as if in understanding.

“If you are not going to say something then please speak with Marcel about scheduling-,”

It felt like an eternity before Remus could concentrate on his words. Lyall was already turning as if brushing Remus’ presence as nothing more than an ill visit.

“Would you just fucking listen to me?” Remus bursted, his voice ringing off the walls and feeling his face pale. His father was trying to dismiss him even after the registration and his blood felt like it has run cold. Remus couldn’t suppress the boiling rage inside him any longer. There were many things he had tried to tolerate during the war but the outrageous proposal by his father to keep an eye on him and others like him was not something he could accept so easily. Lyall stopped in front of him, turning back to face Remus with a shivering glare.  

“Remus, you don’t understand. Be sensible, please-“

Remus felt a rumble of ironic laughter squeeze through him somehow in that moment and couldn’t contain its appearance. “I don’t understand?” Remus spoke coldly, glaring at his father with nothing short of rage. “Don’t you dare say that to me. You have no idea what you have done.”

His voice was chilling even to his own ears and he did not spare attention to the eyed he was receiving. Lyall looked weak and uncertain in front of him, his hands stuffed into his pockets and his posture tight. Remus felt like a short had died in him and he was trying desperately to latch on to anything to balance himself.

“You never cared. Did you? As soon as I was bit you did nothing. Mother was the one who was there every night! You hid upstairs while you locked me in the basement-Oh, please. You were thinking about yourself and how it effected you and your appearance. And now? Were you even thinking of me when you signed your name?”

“I was trying to protect you. Your mother-“

“My mother did that. She died and now you failed to do that...”

His senses had gone cold and white and Remus was vibrating now with no sense of calmness returning to him. Remus failed to see the employee scurry out of the room after a nod from Lyall.

“Remus, I loved your mother. And I loved you. I never did anything to hurt you. Your mother promised me to take care of you...this is helping-“

“It’s helping nothing. Do you even realize how many lives you signed away in favor of thinking of yourself? Don’t you see that you just created a manifest of these innocent lives. They will only be seen as monsters because you allowed them to.”

“You are being unconsciously mistaken of what this means and thought you wiser to be respectful of your actions-“

“Don’t talk to me about respect! You have no fucking idea and don’t you dare pretend to. I have never felt less like your son than now.”

The silence dripped into the room and Remus knew he was gambling dangerously as he picked his words. The room seemed to fade, his eyes strained on his father’s broken face and he only felt a nudge in his back.

There was a point of anger one reached where they did not express themselves in violent, frantic outbursts; there was a moment of calm. An eerie, false sense of security before an oncoming storm. And after Remus had regained himself, he allowed his body to tighten and his mind to hone in on his anger. He wanted to channel his rage and he had. So Remus allowed Kingsley to pull him out of the room like a child and his eyes fell to the floor of the corridors as he walked with a grim face. He felt hatred for his father bloom deep within his abdomen, threatening to overwhelm him with each heavy step he took. Remus did not have a hint of guilt except his last words that hung in the tense air and the look on his father’s face was something he couldn’t forgive himself for. It was something that would haunt in his nightmares and Remus blinked away hot tears that were threatening his eyes.

[messrsmemoirs]

This may be random, but I always kinda wondered this. When Remus was bitten by Fenrir Greyback as a child, where do you think he bit him. I always imagined a place like his shoulder or arm, but what do you think? Also, I assume it would scar? Do you think he was ever ashamed or insecure about that?

Now this is an interesting question. And I’ve had some lengthy conversations with one meerkat in particular about it, and it’s safe to say that this is one of those things that differs widely between Remus fans. I’ve seen fanart–brilliant, all of them–that never seem to depict it in the same place. So I like to think about it logically, which… when dealing with wizards, and often times with Remus, is never as simple as it sounds.

First we have to deal with sifting through what we know concretely about the night of the attack.

At the time, Voldemort was making strong headway in his first rise to power. There was an uptick in the number of attacks and sightingsfrom Dark Creatures, who unbeknownst to the Ministry at the time were being recruited by Voldemort in unheard of numbers at the time. In order to investigate the cause of the attacks and put a stop to the fear, the Ministry called in all experts on Dark Creatures, including those in “lower”, less dangerous classifications like the Boggart or the poltergeist. Enter Lyall Lupin, encountering Fenrir Greyback as part of a Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creaturesinvestigation for the deaths of two Muggle children.

Right away, that gives us one very important piece of information: that Fenrir Greyback was already experienced in his signature attack style just in the year 1965, well before the 1990s. In fact, he was experienced enough that he was even under investigation–though not well known, because he was able to convince the committee that he was just a Muggle tramp despite what (I hope) was a reasonable trail of evidence that eventually (hopefully) lead to the families getting some kind of reparations.

Anyway, this is a man who knows his intended victim well enough to isolate them from their families before he transformed and was out of his own control. We can argue that Greyback “works” with his wolf, that he can target someone whilst transformed, but there’s no evidence to suggest anything other than a blind bloodlust which will attack anyone. In other words, if a werewolf fails to isolate his intended target before moonrise, his wolfish self will likely seek an easier target despite all intents to the contrary. That’s why Greyback actually forced open Remus’ bedroom window while he slept. That’s how he got in.

Here’s where things get messy:

In order to force open the window, I assume that Greyback is in his final minutes as a human. I assume that he needs his thumbs and his human intelligence to do so. Pottermore states that Lyall “reached the bedroom in time to save his son’s life”, which to me seems to indicate that it took him some time, because more than hearing Remus’s screams, falling out of bed, stumbling down the hallway and reaching the bedroom, first thing’s first: Greyback had to transform. Remus has told us how brutally painful, how agonizing it is to transform into a werewolf. I think even a man who relishes in it would still scream. And so he did, waking up a four year old boy trapped in his bedroom.

Remus’ transformation in PoA is exactly five lines long. Five tiny lines in a scene with major plot implications, and one that I expect was deliberately kept short both for moving the story onward and to save the readers a gruesome experience. Magic aside, we have to be a tiny bit honest: the logistics of going from man to beast takes just slightly longer than five lines. It takes time, it takes energy, and it’s not a small chunk of change. And what’s to stop a target escaping while the transformation happens, like Peter did many years later? I have a strange gut feeling that Greyback would also have blocked the door before he transformed, trapping Remus and also further preventing a timely intervention by the only armed wizard in the home. I picture Lyall trying the doorknob, then pounding desperately on the door to try and force it, and then finally, desperately, taking his wand and blasting it open and blowing the werewolf away from tiny, crumpled form of his son in one terrifying and heart-wrenching moment. All the while Remus screams, and Greyback had to actually be driven out of the house with multiple powerful curses. So he likely escaped punishment in the end unless Lyall barged into the Ministry later on and demanded justice. But how can they prove it was one specific werewolf, when, as we saw, they couldn’t even decide if Greyback even was a werewolf at that time?

But back to the attack. Have an interesting tidbit:

In the late nineteenth century the great English authority on werewolves, Professor Marlowe Forfang, undertook the first comprehensive study of their habits. He found that nearly all those he managed to study and question had been wizards before being bitten. He also learned from the werewolves that Muggles ‘taste’ different to wizards and that they are much more likely to die of their wounds, whereas witches and wizards survive to become werewolves. [x]

That right there means that there’s something beyond pure bloodlust when a werewolf attacks. Sure, a werewolf will attack anyone and everyone blindly, without pause. But they are magical creatures. And they are creatures that are physically incapable of reproducing sexually. (See the pack of wolves in the Forbidden Forest for more on that.) This means that the only way for the werewolf to procreate and ensure the survival of the species is to infect another human with lycanthropy, most commonly via the transfer of saliva during a bite. And Muggles are most likely to die after a bite. This give the werewolf a biological incentive to seek out magical people. Still, werewolf bite victims do still die, and probably with some regularity. After all, bloodlust is a powerful drug. And an animal can’t always resist going a little too far. Sometimes there just isn’t enough inhibition. It’s nasty business.

Fenrir Greyback has killed. He killed those two Muggle children. And he’s been known to transform in whole crowds, using himself as a weapon of mass destruction. He purposely ruins lives. Greyback is okay with murder, but that isn’t what he wants. His purpose in life is to create as many werewolves as he can; to infect as many innocent people as he can. And more than inflicting maximum suffering (which I am not about to argue that he did not want to cause, because he most definitely did), turning children means that there’s less chance of escape, less change of a physical struggle, less chance of lasting damage. Children are more fragile than the standard adult, but then, children also recover quicker.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it was as simple as that. Children squirm. Terrified children squirm like their life depends on it, which in this case, it very much does. When Remus heard the sounds of Greyback transforming and awoke, his first instincts would either be to hide or to flee. He’s not quite 5 years old. What else can he do? And so my guess would be that he tried to run, first to his parents’ room which if Greyback were smart he would have blocked off. But he could also have tried to make a run for the closet, or tried hiding under the bed.

Or, honestly, he may have cowered right there in his bed, frozen. Either way, the werewolf probably pounced at him, knocking him down. Remus would have been scratched by the claws. And his instincts would have driven his arms up to protect his face and head and neck, to use them as a shield. This is most likely where he was bitten, and in the violence of it all there is no way it was one of those “clean”-looking dotted rows. Dog bites take a variety of shapes. ... I looked. Remus would probably have been swatting, hitting, kicking... He may have been bitten on his legs, too, or on his bare feet. Honestly it really depends on how the attack actually happened, and we have very little detail about that traumatizing event to say. We may even go so far as to suggest that it wasn’t just a single bite, because these kinds of things are just so chaotic and messy. We just don’t know, but logically it makes a lot of sense for it to be on his arm in an attempt to shield himself. So that’s where I tend to hover.

And yes, they would scar. All werewolf injuries scar, no matter how minor. They’re cursed, and thus leave a permanent reminder. And supposing that the bite mark and other scars are present on his arms, Remus would likely try to hide behind long-sleeve shirts at all times. People stare at scars. We’re all told not to, but sometimes we just do anyway, without even noticing. Even without a stigmatizing illness to hide, the scars, if gruesome or large, or glaring, are noticeable. Many are not: Remus is able to lie and claim he has an obnoxious cat, etc, and we have the story about the badly behaved rabbit. But nonetheless, any scar to Remus is an open invitation, a question waiting to be asked, and it would be something he would not want. So yes, I do think there would be insecurity.