#ly made and distributed

[samaspic31]

What if i just gave up instead of fighting to figure out how to “earn a living” out of art or even any fucking field and have habits as ethical as i can in this hellscape of a world where the only thing rewarded is ownership and cruelty. What if

[szhmidty]

Microsoft made Recall—the feature that automatically tracks everything you do in an attempt at helping you except, you know, that's a massive security risk and data mining source—a dependency for the windows file explorer, meaning even if you forcibly strip Recall out you end up losing basic tools.

This is very much a "learn how to install Linux Mint on your laptop" moment. Richard Stallman et al were entirely correct, your computer will soon have spyware integrated deep into the system internals with no ability to cleanly remove it even for experienced, tech savvy users.

Yes, it sucks, there is no Linux distribution that has to even close to the level of support for software and peripherals that windows has, and even the easier distros like Mint still expect a level of tech savvy that Mac and Windows just don't require. Anyone telling you that Linux is just as easy and just as good is lying to you.

But Linux has never been easier, has never been as well supported as today, and simply doesn't contain egregious spyware (well, besides Ubuntu that one time I guess).

[dorabellingham]

Caught in the act

warning: sexual intentions

characters: jude x fem!reader

summary: when you are spending time at his parents' house and he has very compromising ideas

may contain spelling and translation errors!

Jude was lying on the sofa in the living room, absently fiddling with his cell phone, while you finished organising the things you had brought to his parents' house. You wore a loose tank top and shorts that showed your legs, and honestly, he was already losing concentration since you had passed through the room for the third time.

Jude's parents were in the kitchen, talking about the weather, when his mother appeared at the living room door.

-Let's take Taco for a little walk. Who's going?

Jude raised his eyes quickly.

-No, mum, thank you. We are tired of the trip.

He smiled, trying to look casual, but you, who didn't fully understand what they were talking about, noticed the slight tone of haste.

Denise shrugged.

-Okay. We won't be late.

As soon as the door closed and the sound of Taco's paws disappeared, the older Bellingham got up from the couch, walking to you with that smile he already knew well. He seemed relaxed, but he had something in his eyes that delivered his intention.

-What was it?

You asked, crossing your arms and staring at him suspiciously.

-Nothing, babe. I was just here thinking... -He put his arms around your waist and pulled you close, tilting his face until he almost touched his nose to your neck. -We're alone...

You raised an eyebrow, holding back your laughter.

-And what do you think that's the reason for, exactly?

He shrugged, kissing the corner of your mouth gently.

-To enjoy.

Before you could protest, Jude lifted you by the waist and put you sitting on the kitchen counter. He held you by the legs, fitting his body between your knees, and you let out a nervous giggle.

-Babe, your parents can come back at any time...

-Sweetie, they went for a walk with Taco. That always takes time.

He murmured, gluing his lips to yours before you could invent more excuses.

You tried to keep control, but the way Jude kissed you made your mind erase. His hands slid down your waist with familiarity, and his warm touch seemed to ignite your skin.

–You are so beautiful... so perfect... my love.

He said, his voice hoarse and low, while distributing kisses around his neck.

You, feeling his hands go up his thighs, took a deep breath.

-Jude... your parents...

-Shhh, Y/n... -He replied, with a smug smile. -Trust me. We have time.

However, as a direct signal from the universe, you heard the sound of the front door opening. You immediately pushed your boyfriend, coming down from the counter awkwardly, your heart racing.

-Jude, my God, are you in the kitchen?

Mark called, while the sound of Taco's paws echoed through the room.

-Yes, dad, here we are.

Jude replied, trying to look casual while fixing her messy hair. You were slightly red, fixing the tank top and muttering things softly.

His father appeared at the door with a dog's collar in his hands and looked at the two.

–Are you okay? You seem... how to say it?... nervous.

-We're great!

You answered automatically. Jude let out a low laugh, realising his hasty tone.

His mother came in right behind, and Taco went straight to you, putting his paws on your leg as if he wanted to climb on your lap. You took a step back, still nervous, but smiled to disguise.

While your in law's began to put things away and talk about the walk, Jude leaned to you and whispered in your ear, with a provocative smile:

-I think they suspect.

You, still embarrassed, gave him a light elbow.

-You're impossible, Jude.

He just laughed, putting his arm around you.

-I love you, sweetie.

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn't hold back your smile. After all, no matter how chaotic it was, you knew you were completely surrendered to him.

I brought a short one shot because I'm having a terrible day, today the results of the college entrance exam came out and I didn't get in :(

[yzzart]

Tom Blyth being really fucking obsessed with actress!Reader, like constant physical contact, many kisses, maybe some moments on set? I love your writing 💖

"Oh, the lovebirds."

pairing: tom blyth x actress!reader.

summary: another compilation between you and tom? we have!

word count: 538!

notes: thank you for requesting this, anon and i hope you know that i love you and beg you to request more ideas!

"See them over there?" — Recording and switching the camera to frontal mode, Rachel pointed to you and Tom sitting under the tree, in the forest setting, together. — "Two lovebirds in love." — Tom's arm was around your shoulder, he was saying something that was, technically, impossible to identify, but then he left a long kiss on your forehead. — "Look!"

Rachel saved that video with a triumphant, happy smile on her face in an album she had made specifically for behind the scenes and it was the thousandth video of you and Tom that she had saved. — The first and biggest fan of both of you.

It wasn't difficult, and not at all complicated, to find behind-the-scenes photos of 'The ballad of songbirds and snakes'; so soon, it wasn't hard to see photos and videos of you and Tom together on set. — So much for you posting and Rachel too.

There were videos where he put Coriolanus' peacemaker helmet on you; your hands between his rough and cut hair, commenting on the possibility of him temporarily turning blonde;; a photo they took of him and him lying on the grass. — Several moments recorded, captured and saved with lots of love.

Also, the small and peculiar fact that you left written messages or just heart symbols on paper, sometimes torn up, for each other. — Hunter thought this was cute, and she even helped Tom put one of them in your trailer.

In every interview, to repeat, in every interview, Tom always tries to be in contact with you; mainly, the physical. — It doesn't matter if your chair is a little far from his, or if you or he are on the other side of the row. — Nothing can stop that man.

The cameras record, with attention and great focus, Tom holding your hand while you answered questions from the interviewer, who was also watching, and admiring the rings that were present on your fingers; and that some were gifts from him. — If Tom had the opportunity, he would never let go of you.

He contemplated carefully; distributing affection with his fingers on your hand and your palm, at certain moments, even tickling you and, sometimes during the interviews, a brief laugh accompanied your words.

And every time it happens, that passionate smile wrapped in such a strong emotion curves on Blyth's lips.

Well, it's not just the contacts and touches between your hands that are captured by cameras and the watchful eyes of fans; Tom's arm resting on the back of your chair, your leg touching his, your head on his shoulder and once again Tom's hand resting on your knee. — You looked like a pair of magnets.

Oh, and not to mention, a moment from an interview, another one from Vogue to be a little specific, in which Tom removes one of the rings that was on his fingers, the one that is always on his pinky, and decided to put it on your finger. — God, your fans went completely crazy on all social media, especially on Twitter. — It wasn't so perfect, in the right measure, but you didn't remove it in any way.

During the premieres, several photos with you kissing Tom's cheek and him kissing your hand, like a knight, spread across networks and even on the film's official accounts. — And Rachel commented on all of them. — And the photos that show Tom's hands on your waist, holding you so gently accompanied by such a sweet and intimate look and following you wherever you went became your favorites.

Flashes and snippets of interviews, videos of Tom's hand on your back, helping you with your long dress and him brushing some locks out of your face while you answered questions. — Even the interviewers smiled witnessing those acts.

And there's always a like from Tom Blyth on Instagram posts of these photos.

[absolutebl]

Best 24 of BL 2024 - Quirky Awards

ONLY shows that ENDED their runs in 2024 are up for awards.

SHOCK & AWE AWARDS

1. Biggest BL surprise of 2024:

Cherry Magic Thailand. TayNew's version was truly a lovely experience and very much its own take on the original, an adaptation rather than a remake. I'm so relieved and grateful that GMMTV managed to pull it off, and sad it wasn't more widely available.

2. The “that country did WHAT?” award:

Meet You At the Blossom from China. From start to finish it is exactly as it claimed to be, wuxia BL, including more than the expected amount of sexual claiming (dubious consent to the point of rape) and actual kisses, wife language, floaty sleeves, you name it. FROM CHINA!!!

3. Biggest casting whoa! where did you come from? award:

Up & Poom in My Stand-In. I mean, WHERE did you two come from and how did this happen? Holy smokes. My goodness are we grateful!

4. That studio did WHAT now? award:

Youku putting Unknown out wide and easily avaiable on YouTube (for most of us). It's just really rare for a Taiwanese BL to get any kind of distribution. And to do that with arguably the best TaBL of the year and not some sad little mew mew? Amazing.

5. I’m sad you were ignored award:

Sugar Dog Life - such a charming JBL, so hard to find. I'm so sad it didn't get distribution. It's charming, one of my favorites of the year, worth tracking down if you can.

6. 2024 BL That Actually Made Me Lose My Mind Award?

I gotta be honest, it was The Sign. I was such a chaotic mess of a show but never once was I bored. It was the only one that drove me into memes and captions and silliness.

I did go a bit feral for a while over Love for Loves Sake and Wandee Gooday not to mention The Only One (until it went tits-up).

NARRATIVE AWARDS

7. Best story 2024:

Cherry Magic (Thai remake). I know, but it worked just as well in another country, if not better. I always enjoy this kind of magical realism concept (after all Color Rush is one of my all time favorite BLs) and despite the increased length, the pacing was solid on this one... even from Thailand.

8. Best narrative structure 2024 award:

Love For Love's Sake. A KBL isekai about a man who must win a game by convincing a reserved teen outcast to fall in love with him. Of course, that teen represents himself and his own unhappiness. I drowned in this show and liked it that way.

9. Best 2024 dialogue (script) award:

We Are, it was just so much fun. And so FUNNY.

10. Favorite scene 2024:

Like anyone needed to ask. Unknown, of course.

11. The most rewatchable BL of 2024 award:

We Are

It's just all the couples are so cute and the core friendship group is so charming and endearing.

ACTORS & CHARACTERS AWARDS

12. Best performance of a queer actor in a leading role:

no award this year, yeah the whole damn industry should be thoroughly ashamed of itself

13. Best pining 2024:

The Time of Fever. That feeding him orange while lying on the floor scene ALONE.

14. Best wingman 2024 (The Namgoong Award)

Yai in The Sign.

15. Biggest OMG I LOVE you boys together, YAY!

SailubPon from Pit Babe & This Love Doesn't Have Longbeans, from the softness of one to the health code violations of the other. Sure their shows are bonkers, but man are these two good at bonkers (and bonking).

With a nod to BigPark from Monster Next Door.

16. Most unexpected return of a BL pair? award:

OffGun. There were rumors that Off was out at the beginning of 2023. And then they came back with 2 shows in 2024 (Cooking Crush and The Trainee)!

17. Well aren't you two just the prettiest? award:

I dithered a lot (Babe's damn waist and OMG The Sign's sex scenes hawt), but in the end it had to go to GreatInn. They were just so good at showing their characters having FUN together. There is a lot of beauty in enjoying sex and another person's company. It's so rare to see that portrayed in a BL (and it shouldn't be rare).

18. LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD

I'm actually giving it to OffGun. Ya know, where others falter, these two just keep going. It's kinda amazing.

RANDOM PICKS

19. Favorite Linguistic Moment of 2024:

The general flirtatious banter from Last Twilight.

20. Biggest disappointment of 2024:

Addicted Heroin (Thai version). Some of the very best original material + one of my favorite Thai actors (who I've been waiting eons to see in a BL again) and THIS was the result? They could have fixed China's worst BL mistake, instead the made everything worse. I'm gonna be bitter for a really really long time.

I gotta sat The Only One comes a real close second tho. And I'm still mad about Last Twilight, too.

21. Best Wardrobe/Prop Use 2023

Meet You At The Blossom - I love a pretty boy pissing contest over who has the biggest sleeves. Twirl you beautiful bastards, TWIRL!

22. Best Queer Rep 2024

Again, not great this year. I loved the fun sex and play in Wandee, but there were precious few femme characters, and in general it felt like we took some steps back from queerness this year. So I'm gonna give it to Deep Night, because at least they gave us honest poly for the first time.

23. Best Meta Trope call out

Love for Love Sake - Korea taking to task the Dead Fish Kiss when they are often the worst offender was...... amusing.

But Deep Night having male sex workers having to act like they were in a BL for a couple chicks...... literally gay for pay depicting gay for pay and just, well, that's frankly a gut punch. There was some sarcastic clapping on my side of the screen.

24. Well aren't you getting all Live Action Yaoi retro with your bad self?

Dominant Yakuza and Wimpy Corporate Slave gets my vintage af award. I flipping LOVED it. Would I recommend it? Only if you, yourself, are a bit vintage.

Final question: which of the 24 was the hardest for me to pick?

20 Biggest disappointment of 2024. Look I had some pretty high expectations of some returning pairs, some great ideas, and some intriguing remakes. 2024 was full of disappointments.

2022's Version of the Quirkies

2023's Version of the Quirkies

Remember I only pull from shows that were completely finished by the end of 2024.

(source)

[russellsppttemplates]

Charles cooking for the kids and they are not the biggest fan of his cooking

"Mama isn't home?", Hervé asked as Charles parked the car in the garage, the spot where you parked your car empty.

"She's having dinner with her friends", Charles explained. As much as he loved spending time with his family in their own bubble, he would be lying if he said that he wasn't looking forward to having his kids' undivided attention on him for the night.

"We might get lucky tonight, maybe she left something made already for us", Hervé mumbled as he got out of the car, "might not be that bad after all", Amélie completed his sentence as she hopped off her seat while Charles carried Thomas up on his hip, walking up to stairs and letting the kids get comfortable in house clothes while he prepared their snacks.

"Do you have any homework, Hervé?", he asked as he cut up some fruit, waiting on the toaster to jump so he could add the bread to their plates.

"No, Ms. Rouvière said we had been well-behaved today, so we didn't get any", your son said as he sat on the stool, making silly faces and playing with Thomas and his building blocks.

"I'm very hungry!", Amélie ran inside the kitchen, sitting on the stool and waiting for her plate as Charles distributed them, "are you, amour? I have this here, and if you want more, let me know and I'll make it. I just don't want you to waste food, that's all", Charles smiled as he kissed the top of her head.

When dinner time came around, Charles had the kids set the table and patiently wait for him to bring the pots and pans to the table, "do you think the pasta will be hard like last time?", Amélie asked her older brother, "I heard mama tell him to leave it longer in the stove", Hervé reasoned, "maybe he did listen to her this time".

"It looks okay... I guess", Amélie added, seeing the pasta on the pot before looking at the giggly Thomas on his high chair, "at least you get the soup mama made for you", she shrugged. Amélie almost always joined you in the kitchen when you batch cooked soup for your little one. Because it made your routine easier, you would often make a big batch and store it in single servings so meal time for Thomas would be easy and you could do it without a hitch everyday.

Granted, the pasta bolognese wasn't the best they've had, but the pasta was considered al dente and the meat wasn't too flavourful, but better that last time where it was too salty.

"It's a good thing papa always let's us have two rounds of dessert", Amélie giggled as Hervé gathered the plates to leave them at the spot on the table where you usually sat, "maybe mama will bring some leftovers", he smiled.

When you got home, the two older kids were first to greet you, "Hi mama!", they said, "Papa is upstairs putting Thomas to sleep", Amélie offered as she looked for something. "You didn't bring anything from the restaurant?", she asked, "no, amour. I ate the last slice of cheesecake they had for the night actually", you said, quirked brow at her question, "did papa not cook the pasta again properly?", you chuckled.

"It was okay, didn't taste of much, but better than tasting bad, I guess", Hervé shrugged his shoulders much like you had done.

"Amour, you're back!", Charles announced his presence, kissing your lips, "did you have a good dinner?", he asked.

"It was good, but I must say I'm feeling peckish, maybe some cookies would be nice", you pouted, prompting him to get them for you.

"This is just once, okay?", you tutted to both kids as they nodded, asserting that eventually you'd have to leave something for them next time you had dinner out without them and Charles was the one in charge of the food.

(Thank you for your submission ✨️)

[peachyprophets-blog]

DROWNED LOVE. LET ME SEE YOU AGAIN...

Epic x reader

CW: Hint of death, EPIC spoiler warning, polyamorous relationship, female reader, English is not my first language.

Description: You are with Odysseus and his men in the war against Troy, you have known Odysseus for a long time. You are his steady partner and Penelope, Odysseus' wife, you have a committed relationship with each other. Since you are a warrior, you insisted on coming along to help in the fight.

PREV / PART 2

Reader POV:

When we attacked Troy, I stood on top of the walls and shot the Trojan soldiers with my arrows. I heard the screams of the soldiers who lost their lives in the fight for their kingdom. When Prince Hector fell and the battle began, everything seemed to stand still for a moment, all eyes were on the balcony that led to Prince Hector's chambers. When you turned your gaze to the balcony, you saw your captain and the man who made your heart beat faster. Odysseus of Ithaca, and in his arms he held something wrapped in a blanket, while you tried to make out what was wrapped in the blanket you heard a deep voice from nowhere warning that the child was a threat and that there would be no one to save if he let the child live. Child? Which child? This question was buzzing through your head until I realized what was in my captain's arms, a newborn. It was the son of Prince Hector, Astyanax. Before I could see anything else about the newborn I could hear Odysseus saying, "I'm just a man" to himself and the child. Before I could do anything else I just saw him let go of the fabric that the newborn was in, my gaze followed his path to death, not even a scream escaped the little boy as he got up and made his way into the underworld. I turned my gaze to the battlefield, all the soldiers and other members of Troy lay lifeless on the ground, the battle was won. I was standing right next to Poletis, a good friend of Odysseus and me, I slowly looked over at him, "it's done" I could just about manage to say, the pressure and burden that the war had weighed on all of us was lifting from us, the next goal was to go back home, to our homeland, back to Penelope and Telemachus. Poletis nodded at me before we walked from the wall to the others, we waited for Odysseus until he gave us his next instructions. We followed Odysseus on the way to the ships, when all the men were distributed to the ships, Odysseus gently took my hand and pulled me onto the ship. "I'm glad you're okay, now we just have to go back home and everything will be perfect" he said in a gentle tone as we stood next to each other. "Captain?" came the voice of Eurylochus, the second in command after a few days. "We've been on the road for days, the food is running low and the others are getting hungrier." His voice was filled with concern. Odysseus turned to him and discussed the next steps with him. I was lying in bed in Odysseus' cabin, not quite awake yet, I slowly sat up and got dressed. As I made my way onto the deck I heard Odysseus and Poletis on their way to explore an island. I was standing next to some men who were impatiently waiting for their captain and his best friend to return. As some men set out with Eurylochus to look for the two of them, a whole hour passed. When Odysseus returned with Eurylochus and a few men, I looked for Poletis, who was nowhere to be found. A bad feeling gripped my heart when I saw the red ribbon that Odysseus had tied around his forehead, which Poletis had actually worn. When everyone was on the ship, Odysseus, who was standing a little way away from me, called out, "Remember me, I am the reigning king of Ithaca, I am neither a man nor mythical. I am your darkest moment, I am the infamous ODYSSEUS." My world was spinning as the ship set sail again. I sat on the floor after Eurylochus had told me everything that had happened, from the lotus eaters to the Cyclops and Poletis's death. This information rocked my world, Poletis was a friend that no one could replace, he was there for me when I had problems, it was easy for him to make me smile, yet his way of seeing the world was ultimately dead. Eurylochus moved away from me to give me peace, I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice a frame of somone aproaching me.

A/N: HEYYY , I hope you liked my first Post, I already work on Part 2 so it would be nice of you say if you liked this one ;>

[liketolaugh-writes]

I've been thinking about a Demon Twins AU with Good Parents Fentons.

----

Danny laughed softly, rolled over, and looked at her. Maddie's brow creased the longer he stared, and she waited for him to speak.

"...Aren't you mad?" he asked at last.

Mad? How was she supposed to be mad when she was still thinking about his birth mother cutting his throat?

"About what, sweetie?"

He blinked at her, with the same soft blue eyes she'd always known. "About... me lying for so long, I guess. Hiding so many important things from you and Dad. Things... things that you probably wouldn't have adopted me if you'd known."

"You say that like you tricked us into it," Maddie teased gently. But Danny just shrugged.

"You could've had a normal kid," he said. Maddie's heart broke.

"But they wouldn't have been you," she reminded him, voice soft. "I care about you, Danny, not some hypothetical perfect child that I could have had. You are my son. That's what matters." Danny's breath hitched as he cut off a whimper. Maddie pressed forward. "And you deserve a family - someone that can show you that you can still be loved after the things that have happened to you. Why not us?"

Well- there were actually a lot of answers to that, such as another family might not have hunted his ghost when he died, but none that Danny was likely to voice. If he thought them at all.

Sure enough, Danny just rolled toward her and pressed his forehead against her knee, a silent gesture of gratitude.

"I should call Tucker," he murmured at last, and Maddie nodded and went to get his phone.

Unfortunately, that gave her time to mull over everything that he and Talia had said, all of the odd offhand comments and sly hints. Talia had used her words like a weapon, and Danny, in his way, had done the same.

You still don't guard your left side - was that true? Had there always been that silent cry of a missing piece, and Maddie had simply never noticed?

Why was Danny so skeptical of his grandfather's death? Why did Talia promise that he wouldn't need to get his hands dirty? Why did Talia say that she shouldn't have had Danny and Damian? What were the Lazarus Pits she'd spoken of with such significance?

What did Danny mean when he accused his mother of cutting his throat, and why didn't she deny it?

Maddie was still fussing over those questions when Danny finally hung up, looking satisfied. He squirmed toward her, and she instinctively brought his head back to her lap. That seemed to be what he wanted, because he relaxed with a sigh, and almost immediately slipped into a doze. She ran her fingers through his hair, and kept thinking.

Danny didn't stir until Jack returned with food, and it was only because Jack's cheerful shout was difficult to miss. Maddie leaned forward to intercept before Jack could spill soda all over their bed, and Jack gave her a sheepish laugh before settling down with everything else.

"The door, Jack," Maddie reminded him fondly, and distributed the food while he hurried back to close the door.

Jack sat down again and helped Danny up to prop against him. Almost immediately, a distracted light of worry was back in his eyes, making Maddie winced with sympathy. Danny clearly noticed it too, from the slight wave of tension, but didn't bring it up.

"Danny," Jack said at last, halfway through the meal. His shaky voice made it clear it had been a strain to even get that far. "What did you mean, when you said she..." He couldn't say it. Maddie couldn't blame him.

Danny hesitated, then sighed, putting his burger down. He leaned against Jack and visibly considered how to answer. His eyes were thousand miles away. He reached up, and his fingertips brushed his throat. There was no scar there.

"It was how I got away," he said, and dropped his hand, halfheartedly picking up his burger again. He took a bite, thinking again as he chewed. Jack and Maddie both stopped, unable to focus, but tried not to stare Danny down. Don't rush him, Maddie told herself. Her head snapped back up when Danny continued. "My grandfather was Ra's al Ghul, the Demon's Head." He said it like a title, a name that people would whisper in fear. It was easy to believe. "He had exacting standards for me and Damian, so our training started early. I was good with martial arts, Dami with weapons. But when it came time to put our training to use, I wasn't... good at it."

Danny's voice was strained, and it was clear that even after the day's revelations, it was still difficult for him to talk about this. Not that Maddie could blame him, of course. It was hard just to hear.

Danny had bloomed from... whatever that man had tried to turn him into, from the start of an assassin into a sweet, brilliant boy who watched avidly as Jack showed him how to take the microwave apart and put it back together. Trying to imagine him before they met, what they could have forced him to do, felt like crushing a flower back into its bud. And somehow, suddenly, she understood.

"You said you weren't suited for that life," she whispered. Danny nodded stiffly. "That woman promised you wouldn't need to get your hands dirty. Danny..."

She couldn't imagine it, Maddie realized, because it had never happened. Danny had never been the right shape for that.

"I couldn't kill," Danny confirmed, without looking at her. Maddie bit down a whimper. Jack gasped, and moved suddenly, probably to clutch at Danny like he'd disappear. But Danny flinched, and Jack stopped, closing his fist around nothing as he stared at Danny with grief. Danny ignored both of them, maybe unable to make this confession and look at them at the same time. "I would... freeze. My hands would shake. My fingers would go numb. I don't know what the hell my problem was."

And he didn't, Maddie could tell. Even now, years after his escape from that life, Danny still didn't completely understand why he'd reacted that way. Why he'd found it so viscerally repulsive. Why a child would be unable to kill. Maddie imagined it despite herself, Danny as the little boy they'd first met, holding a knife to some faceless person's throat until he started to hyperventilate, then cry, dropping the knife to rub childishly at his eyes. Before she knew it, tears slipped down her face, then her neck.

"Dami could do it," Danny added, softly. And that image, somehow, was even worse - another little boy gently taking the knife from Danny's numb fingers and slicing through that faceless person's neck, spilling blood over both their hands.

"The problem," Maddie murmured, almost shaking with rage, "is that you were eight, and someone told you to kill."

Danny blinked at her, startled, and then smiled sadly. "Dami could do it," he repeated. "If no one else was around, he'd say I did it. He covered for me for more than two years."

So... six. Danny had been six the first time someone had tried to make him a murderer. Maddie felt sick. She put her food down.

"But then they started to talk about separating us," Danny continued. "Sending us on different missions, or even having us work solo." Eight year olds, working missions like they were adults - Maddie wanted to drag Talia back and kill her for putting Danny in this world. Danny himself looked, at worst, melancholy. "If that happened, we wouldn't be able to hide it anymore, and Grandfather would have had me killed."

"No," Jack whispered, echoing Maddie's thoughts. Danny smiled a little, and leaned further into Jack as if drawing comfort from him. Maddie hoped that he was. That something of this was helping.

All of this leads to Talia cutting Danny's throat, Maddie remembered suddenly.

"So Mother did it first," Danny said without replying. Maddie's heart dropped. "The League had access to... kind of some weird stuff, more magic than science. One of those things was the Lazarus Pits. Looking back, they were definitely derived from ectoplasm, but they'd done something weird to it. Not that important, I guess." He shrugged. "The Lazarus Pits bring the dead and dying back to life."

No, Maddie wanted to say, as if that would stop what she already knew was coming.

"So Mother faked an assassination," Danny continued anyway. "Held my head in one hand and a knife in the other, and told me to be brave. Then she let the doctors declare me dead, and..." He trailed off, letting them finish. He was smiling, small and pained, like he was apologizing for how awful this was to hear.

"Brought you back with the Lazarus Pits," Maddie whispered, shaken to the core. Danny nodded. "That's... that's..."

Danny smiled mirthlessly. "Something only a loving mother raised in a death cult would do?"

Not what Maddie would have said, but in a horrible sort of way, it made sense. Talia loved Danny enough to try to get him out at any cost. To defy the will of the cult they were stuck in. She loved him enough to cut his throat and hold him while he died.

(Was Maddie really so much better?)

[najia-cooks]

Wood sorrel soup with green peppercorn and mint

The wood sorrels—sometimes called sourgrasses—are a group of extremely widely distributed edible weeds in the genus Oxalis. As their name suggests, wood sorrels have a distinctly tart flavor due to the presence of oxalic acid. The seed pods of the wood sorrels are crisp and quite sour, and are therefore sometimes called fairy pickles. Wood sorrel is a commonly foraged green which grows well in disturbed areas, woodland, lawns, and gardens; it may be used as a pot herb or a salad green, or brewed into tea.

This recipe is for a blended soup similar to schav (Yiddish): an eastern European soup made with common sorrel (Rumex acetosa), vegetables, and smetana (sour cream)—and to potage crème d'oseille: a French soup made with sorrel or other sour, foraged greens; broth; eggs; and cream. In my version of this soup, the bright, lemony sourness of wood sorrel is deepened with garlic, tempered with a non-dairy milk, and complemented by the fresh, earthy, citrusy notes of green peppercorn. A garnish of chiffonaded mint or green onion adds some herbacious sharpness that plays well against the fresh wood sorrel.

Recipe under the cut!

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Ingredients:

50g (1 cup packed) yellow wood sorrel

1 small sweet onion

3 cloves garlic, crushed

Margarine, to fry

Salt to taste

1 tsp ground green peppercorns

2 cups vegetable stock

1/3 to 1/2 cup non-dairy milk, to taste

1 Tbsp flour

Mint or green onion, to garnish

Besides common yellow wood sorrel (Oxalis stricta), procumbent yellow sorrel (O. corniculata), or slender yellow wood sorrel (O. dillenii), will also work.

All three species have leaves which are alternate (one leaf per node), trifoliate (three leaflets per leaf), and petiolate (attached to the stem by a leafstalk, rather than directly); have heart-shaped leaflets; and have yellow, five-petalled flowers. Leaflets open in the sun and close (folding downwards) at night.

O. stricta plants grow upright when very young, but are afterwards recumbent; each plant has only one root, so the stems are not truly creeping (sending down new roots at the nodes). Stems may have small hairs spreading away from the center. Flowers appear in branched clusters, usually from 5 to 7 per inflorescence. Pedicels (seed pods) are erect.

O. stricta roots once; if young and light, it is upright. If mature and heavy enough, it will lie recumbent along the rest of its length without rooting again.

O. corniculata plants are prostrate, spreading via overground stolons which root into the ground again at the nodes. Pedicels are deflexed (hanging down) or horizontal.

O. corniculata spreads along the ground; if you try to pull up a mature plant, you will note it is rooted at more than one point (if soil is available).

O. dillenii is sometimes considered a type of O. stricta. Plants are erect and may reach over a foot in height. Flowers usually appear in 2s, but there may be as many as 6 per infloresence. Stems have appressed (lying flat against the stem surface) hairs. Pedicels are reflexed (bent).

O. dillenii, upright with hairy stems and seed pods whose peduncles have a sharp bend in them, like an elbow. Leaves sometimes slightly reddish.

Instructions:

Wash wood sorrel in a bowl of water, then draw the plants out to allow dirt to sink to the bottom. Include leaves, stems, seed pods, and flowers.

In a large soup pot, melt margarine on medium-high. Fry onion, garlic, a pinch of salt, and half the green pepper until the onion is golden brown.

Add sorrel and heat until thoroughly wilted.

Add stock and simmer 10 minutes.

Whisk flour into 1/3 cup non-dairy milk; add the mixture to the pot and whisk. Taste and add another splash of milk if the soup remains too sour.

Add remaining green pepper and salt to taste. Simmer another 3 minutes or so.

Garnish. Serve hot or cold.

[aces-and-angels]

IMPORTANT UPDATE FROM SHAHED:

Note : this post is a repost of @appsa update on Shahed's campaign with updated infos on the current amount of raised funds.

I am so grateful to everyone who shared and donated, i really do count it as a miracle that we were able to reach the goal at all, never mind that it happened within the deadline we set. Your support has felt like a blessing in a truly wretched time, especially after all those baseless accusations were made.

Unfortunately, as is the norm with these fundraisers, it seems that shahed has run into some problems with the bank while withdrawing the funds she raised from this campaign. Apart from the unexpected $3.5k cut gfm took from the total amount, it seems the american bank her campaign manager using to send the money will also take a tax of $2k.

This has left her short of $5,500 from getting the full amount she needs to evacuate her whole family.

And it seems because the amount the campaign initially raised is so large, the campaign manager cannot afford to officially increase the target on the gofundme campaign page itself without putting himself at risk of having his bank account and its funds frozen.

As you may know already, there are lots of roadblocks when it comes to transferring funds from western countries to countries of the global south but especially gaza right now. People having their accounts frozen for sending money to gaza and having to go through legal hassles for it is not anything new.

Shahed doesn't want to put the campaign manager, who is their family friend, at risk of legal troubles like that, especially given the hostile political climate towards palestinians in the USA right now.

So i want to make this clear:

Shahed is currently unable to increase the target on the fundraiser on the gofundme itself, but she still needs to raise another 5.5k to cover the tax cuts taken by both gfm and the banks.

The goal on the fundraiser may say $80,000 is the target but the new one we have to aim for is actually $85,500 now

She is currently at $81,525 / $85,500

Believe me when i say that no one is more disheartened by this development than shahed herself. The morning we had reached the goal of $80,000 she told me that she felt she was the happiest girl in the world, and had bought and distributed sweets to the kids at the camp she was at to celebrate despite how expensive it is in Gaza right now.

She had also begun plans to help boost other fundraisers of palestinians, so that no one would have to feel the hopelessness she felt during those months where her fundraiser had been stagnant and had already gotten started on that barely a day or two after she'd completed her campaign.

Shahed was very nervous to tell me about this, especially after this whole racist hate campaign that was led against her so recently. She does not want her and her family to be accused of lying about their torment a second time. Especially when the violence has begun to ramp up once again even after her recent displacement, she can't bear it. Frankly neither can i.

Please know that she would not increase amount again unless times were desperate.

Please do NOT punish her during this difficult time by ignoring this. We have seen time and time again how gfms from gazans have to increase their goals even after they have been reached because of various issues, so this is not unprecedented. I've said it before- the goalposts will always be changing because they are going through a genocide.

So i urge you to please be kind and show her your solidarity and urgency once again, because the deadline is still the same. The raffle still hasnt ended so please check out the link above, and partcipate.

PLEASE HELP HER REACH $85.5K WITHIN THIS WEEK. THIS CAN'T WAIT.

current total: $81,530 USD

[twodimensionalboyfriend]

Sick </3

wc: ~1.3k read time: ~5 minutes

༉‧₊˚.¸♡ master list✧ '*•༉

cw: fluff! smooches here and there i guess! gn throughout! also not proofread lol

I have fucking covid!! my bones are on fire!!!

on a serious note, i have never been sick like this before in my life, i had the worst skin and joint aches i'd ever had in my life and my head felt like it was going to explode with pressure and my ears are still fuckin clogged. so anyways im gonna project my problems into this fic in the order in which i experienced them as a form of therapy and if anybody else is out there sick rn, i hope you have a jason todd to make it bearable!

On a silly note, I met a stray cat in the neighborhood the other day but she's been spayed! im hoping this is the cat distribution system at play

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me," you groaned.

You're sitting on the couch trying to convince your boyfriend that you're not sick. It's just allergies! Allergies that come with body aches, pressure in your head, and now a fever.

Jason showed you the thermometer, "Dude, you're running at 100.1..."

You looked at the thermometer incredulously, "Isn't that thing super old? I mean how do we even know it still works? Take it again."

Jason sighed and scanned your forehead again, "Babe, we bought this a couple months ago." He glared at you as he showed you the thermometer again, which now read 100.2.

"Tch, that's barely even a fever," you said rolling your eyes.

"That's it. You're going on bed rest."

"Woah, what?? Jason, I told you I'm fine! Besides I have so much to do today. We need groceries, I have a prescription to pick up, there are so many dishes in the sink, I have laundry to fold and I have work this evening. A little cold isn't... what are you doing?" You cut yourself off as you saw Jason typing on his phone.

"Thanks for the to-do list! While you rest, I'll go and get this done. Grocery list is on the fridge and our pharmacy is in the store, so text me if you need anything else. I am more than capable of doing dishes and laundry, so you don't have to worry about that. And I love you, but you're crazy if you think you're going into work tonight. Text your boss a picture of the thermometer and call out. Or I'll do it for you, whatever you prefer."

"Ar-Are you sure? I mean it's..." You trailed off. You really did feel like shit and it's not like you necessarily wanted to do these errands and chores. After a moment of thinking, you sighed and relented, "Okay, fine, only if you're completely sure you can handle it."

"(Y/N), I'm an adult. If I couldn't do laundry, you should be worried about me." You tried to laugh a little, but it quickly snowballed into a coughing fit, "Woah woah, take it easy. I'm gonna take the list and go to the store. Again, text me if you need anything or if you just wanna say hi," he said with a smile.

Your eyes welled up a bit as you whispered, "Thank you, Jason. I love you very much."

"I love you too, I'll be back soon."

--------

The front door swung open and Jason's voice rang through your shared apartment, "Honey, I'm home!"

You couldn't have gotten up if you tried. You're sickly moan from the couch alarmed Jason, and he dropped the groceries and ran to your side.

You were lying on the couch in your spiderman sweats and a hoodie; your arms draped over your eyes to block out the white lights from the kitchen that added to your headache. Your entire body ached like it never has before. The sight squeezed Jason's heart. "Oh, honey," he said sympathetically, pressing his hands to your cheeks, "Woah, you are burning up! Hang on." He snatched the thermometer from the coffee table and tested his partner. The screen lit up red. It read 101.7.

You mumbled, "H-Holy shit..." It was a bit too much to talk right now.

"Okay babe, I got you some chicken noodle soup because that's what Alfred always made us, and I don't quite have his cooking skills--and this is, uh from a uh... a can--but I'm gonna make some for you, and that should hopefully make you feel better," he looked at you with worry. "Then would you want to watch Pride & Prejudice while I folded the laundry? The movie obviously, since you like it. Even though the show is better," he grumbled at the end.

God damn it. You were crying again.

You were experiencing so many different emotions you didn't really know what else to do. You loved Jason so much and felt so much gratitude for the way he was taking care of you. As if there was nothing else he could possibly be doing right now other than be here. This is on top of the fact that you've been in agony for the past hour as you got worse and worse; and you were really tired of feeling that way.

This shocked and scared Jason, "I'm sorry!! The movie isn't that bad! I just like that the show's more accurate to the book! Also, when Lizzie runs through the rain, why does she grab a soaking wet cloth from the very same rain storm to dry her hair?! I'm sorry I just--"

"I love you so much," you croaked out. "I also feel like fucking garbage."

This put Jason at ease and he kissed the top of your head. "I'm sorry you feel like shit, sweetheart. I do this because I love you too. Like, a lot. Now stop talking and spare your voice. Let's get you cozy and hopped up on vitamin C, and we'll just take it easy."

-----------------

The next morning, you woke up. You sat up slowly and realized most of the pressure in your head is gone. Your body no longer felt like it was on fire! Definitely still congested though. You also realized you fell asleep on the couch after the first proposal, yet you were currently sitting in your bed. Jason must've brought you in. Suddenly, a sneeze crept up and exploded out of you. Then another. Then one more. Jesus, that hurt your chest.

Your fit was loud enough to let Jason know you had woken up. He came into the room holding a spatula. The opened door let in a sweet smell and a sizzling sound. "How are you feeling, baby?" He walked towards you.

"Well I can bear to be conscious, so I'd say much better. What's going on in the kitchen?"

He pressed his hand to your forehead and said, "Pancakes! And lots of orange juice. I don't think you’re in the clear yet. Sit tight; I'm gonna get the thermometer and take your temperature."

Ignoring his request, you got up to meet him in the living room. You stepped out of the bedroom and was met with the sight of Jason discarding the pancake that had burned due to his doting. He saw you walking towards him and urged you to go back to bed, "Go back! I'm gonna bring you breakfast in bed. Pancakes, juice, fruit, the whole shebang."

"No it's okay, let me be out here with you. I'd kiss you good morning, but I fear I might poison you and get you sick."

Jason stole a quick kiss, much to your surprise, "I spent all night with you. If I were to get it, I don't think a kiss would be what seals my fate. You're plate is ready, by the way."

He handed you a plate stacked with 3 pancakes and a butter slice, drizzled in maple syrup with strawberries and whipped cream. It was beautiful, "Oh my god, Jason, that's so gorgeous I don't think I can eat it." Your stomach growled and promptly gave away your true feelings.

"Tear it up, baby girl."

You sat down as Jason finished making his stack. He sat down with you and you both began eating. Pre-packaged pancake mix has never tasted so good.

"Thank you for nursing me back to health, Jason. You've made this past few days in unbearable hell feel more like a manageable limbo."

He laughed, "What else was I supposed to do? Let the love of my life suffer?"

"God I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you in my life."

"Well, fortunately, you'll never have to." He leaned over the table and pressed a syrupy kiss to your lips.

if there are an content warnings you think i missed, please tell me so!! i’ll add them to this post and remember to add them to future ones!! :) ♡ ♡

and pls pls like and reblog and reply!! literally if you interact i will kiss you on the mouth

[duffslut]

Uncontrollable desire

Axl Rose x Reader

My Masterlist.

Word Count: 408

Warnings: Smut! Minors Dni.

After you and Axl finally finished eating the entire chocolate bar you laid your head on his chest feeling his fingers playing with your hair.

- Why do you smell so good today? - You asked, starting to rub your nose on his skin and then distributing kisses on his chest.

- I always smell nice. - Axl replied. - Now you're turning me on with those kisses.

Axl pulled you by the hair and started kissing you, you kissed him back with such an intensity that you didn't even know where it was coming from.

- Baby... - You said trying stop the kiss. - Babe! - You called him again as your hand unintentionally touched Axl's groin.

- What? - Axl asked and then went back shoving his tongue inside your mouth.

- Why are you so hard we're just kissing. - You said, biting your lips trying not to laugh.

- Are we? - Axl asked and then slapped your ass, pressing it against his dick.

- Stop I wanna watch the movie! - You said, giving Axl one last kiss before getting off of him.

You went back to lying next to him the way you were before, but for some reason your body couldn't stay away from Axl's for more than a few minutes and soon you were rubbing your ass against his crotch, knowing you were teasing him but pretending not to notice.

- I'll give you what you want. - Axl suddenly whispered in your ear after he couldn't take it anymore, and your whole body shivered at his deep voice.

Your panties were pulled to the side, and before you could say or do anything, Axl already had his cock inside you. You were pulled by the waist by him, getting on top of him, your nails scratched his perfect abdomen while you bounced on his cock, taking every inch of him inside you. Axl held your hips so tightly it almost hurt, he moaned as he helped you move back and forth on top of him.

- Oh fuck! - You moaned rubbing your clit as you bounced on his cock faster and faster, squeezing your pussy around his cock feeling it throb, you and him were about to cum.

You leaned your head forward and rested it on Axl's chest, after he and you came at the same time. For some reason you looked at the empty chocolate bar wrapper lying on the edge of the bed, and the name written on it made you laugh.

"Sex chocolate by tabs"

[jenroses]

applied fork theory:

So a constant, irritating drain on my energy has been an artifact of parenting my last baby, who is now 13 years old. That is, my bed was very close to the wall of our bedroom, moved out a little at one point (it was against the wall when he was tiny and cosleeping, to prevent falling off, but moved out later) and the dresser was at the foot of the bed, in order to make room for a couch in the room that is no longer in the room and hasn't been for ehhh 5 years?

So in order to get out of bed, I would have to scootch and climb across our memory foam mattress in order to get to the foot of the bed to get dressed and then work my way around The Stuff in order to get out of the bedroom.

I knew this was draining, but I didn't realize HOW draining.

One of hubby's presents to me was 20 hours of deep cleaning from a professional, and she brought a friend to use 7 of those hours (3 1/2 actual hours, but two people) to deep clean the room and then move the furniture around. Now my side of the bed is right next to the door, the dressers are to the SIDE of the bed which makes the whole room easier to navigate, and there's enough room for hubby to easily walk around the bed to get to his side of the bed. I can just... get out of bed?

I don't have to scootch? Or climb? Or roll across the entire width?

And suddenly I'm able to focus on other areas of the house.

I asked for hooks for hanging things by the front door for christmas, and my dad and my eldest put them up over the weekend, and I was like, "I have enough energy to get the coats up there" and suddenly the coats were off the Horrible Heap on the floor and I could see all the reusable grocery bags so I had someone take those out to the car and then we could see The Place Where Shoes Go To Die.

And I made everyone in the house put all the ones they weren't using anymore in a bag, and we found a shoe organizer in The Horrible Heap place, and now all the shoes are organized and there is no horrible heap anymore.

And then I looked at the dining room and one step at a time and asking people for help as needed, we got all the junk distributed and the tables clear and the 3d printer set up.

So over the course of about a week and a half, the house is suddenly much more livable and is not sucking so much of my energy. I'm still spending most of my time lying down, ME/CFS is not cured by a clean bedroom, but this morning I woke up after something like 10-12 hours of sleep (in a couple chunks, but still) and got dressed and went downstairs and got my breakfast and still had enough energy to make the kitchen less overwhelming and more usable. Not to actually do the dishes, but to make the dishes stacked, soaked where need be and not spread over every available surface of the kitchen, such that when someone more able than me goes in they will start with a mostly empty sink and some space to work.

Anyway, the point of all of this is that sometimes judicious application of help can have ripple effects through most of your life. Think about the things in your life that are making it harder than it has to be. Are they fixable? Is there someone who can help you with something highly specific? Maybe one of those people who said, "If you ever need anything, let me know..."

[totaly-obsessed]

Work-Life Balance

Georgia Stanway x reader fic

-> Reader is very much overworked, Georgia tries to convince her that it doesn't need to be that way

➳ Masterlist

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Georgia was not a fan of early training sessions, coming home at 2 in the afternoon just felt wrong, so it was safe to say, that she was especially happy when the session was pushed to later in the day.

It gave her the possibility to spend her morning with you, her girlfriend. And usually, the Brit was happy about that, but today was not one of them – The day started completely wrong. 

She was alone. Sure, the two of you did not live together but you usually stayed at her place, and you had been there when going to bed last night. In her kitchen she found breakfast already made, a little note attached to it ‘picked up an early shift. See you tonight! -ly!’.

This was not how Georgia wanted to start her day. 

Everybody at training noticed how off the usually bright and cheerful character was, especially Lina. “Hey, what’s up with you? Did your Wifey break up with you?” The German tried to lighten the mood, but seeing her friend's deep frown, she realized something was wrong. 

With a defeated sigh Georgia continued packing her bag while avoiding eye contact. “She picked up another early shift.” 

Lina’s head snapped over, knowing about your working history and all you did “Again?” The brunette continued to stare at her football boots, “Yeah, and after that she has to study all night.” 

To be able to study at university and be able to afford an apartment was quite the feat, especially with no help from your family, so you worked two jobs, as a cashier in the early mornings or incredibly late evenings as well as at an elementary school in the afternoon. There you helped the kids whose parents worked later with their homework and played with them. Added on top of that were Lessons in University, homework and studying.

You had been doing both jobs just fine for a while, but upon meeting Georgia at your internship at Bayern, which was already stressing you out, more things were added to your calendar. Obviously, you wanted to be with the Brit but it was hard with the life you were living. 

“I will see her tonight, if she comes to my place.” Lina's heart hurt a little seeing her friend so done with life. 

“She really needs to give up that supermarket job.” Everyone knew that you hated working there, being yelled at by rude customers before ten in the morning was a blow to the day. But in your mind, having grown up with money insecurities, you needed to make as much money as possible, and this was an easy way to do so while being in Uni. 

“Yeah, but if she quits, she can’t stay in her apartment. She is at my place all the time anyways but she will feel like a burden and she is scared of being dependent on me.” Georgia knew how your mind worked, even if she wasn’t happy with it. You moving in with her, was something she currently wished for with incredible fervor. 

“She won’t be dependent on you though, she’ll still earn money. And when she’s got her degree, she can just start at Bayern, they already have a contract up for her.” Just like that the Brit had a new Goal in mind, and this one wasn’t on a football pitch. 

Upon returning to her apartment, she almost missed your presence, if she hadn’t fallen over your shoes in the hallway. “Babe?” 

No answer. 

The apartment wasn’t big enough that you couldn’t have heard her, so where were you? The brunette didn’t have to look all that hard – a sock-clad foot could be seen peaking out from in front of the couch. “Baby?” 

She still didn’t receive an answer and she quickly saw why – your study materials were distributed on her fluffy carpet with you asleep on your stomach on top of it all, face first into a book. With a chuckle Georgia picked up your materials, sorting them just how you liked it, the only thing missing was the book that was cushioning your face.  

Even though the midfielder titled herself as “heavy-handed” she was ever so gentle with you, coaxing you out of your uncomfortable sleep, slowly but surely. 

Just a few minutes later you were sat on the couch instead of in front of it, your girlfriend feeding you biscuit after biscuit. 

“There you are, baby! Welcome back.” Your blurry eyes finally found her cute face. 

“Need to study Gee.” As softly as the Brit could, she grabbed your hands and held them in her lap, as you tried to reach for your folders and notes. “Not right now Baby. We need to talk.” 

Your tired mind went from zero to a hundred real quick. Wide eyes staring deep into Georgia’s. “Not like that baby. We need to talk about your work-life balance.” 

You couldn’t help laughing. The only thing you kept thinking about were those IKEA ‘work–life–sleep’ advertisements that were all over Germany just a couple of years ago. “I’m serious.” 

She was. The usually goofy grin on her face was gone, instead, she was quite expressionless. With a deep sigh, now knowing that she had your attention the midfielder started to explain her view. 

“I think you should quit your second job and move in with me…” With a warm hand, she shushed you before you could even make a noise. “Just hear me out, okay?” 

A small kiss was pressed to the corner of your mouth – the brunette hoping to convey, that she wasn’t mad or anything, that she just wanted the best for you. “Okay, your apartment is just a waste of money, you are here most of the time. We can put your desk and work things into my spare room, so while I work out you can keep me company while you work.” 

You did that anyway, but usually, you just dragged a chair into the nearly empty room, trying to balance your books on your legs. “And then all my stolen hoodies are back in the closet, and you can just pick whichever one you want. We can cuddle every evening, and we can cook together. And we can-“ 

Now it was you who shushed Georgia with a soft kiss on her lips. The Brit could feel your smile, making her stop her rambling. “Alright – Sold! What else?” 

The Bayern player was thankful that you listened to her. “Quit your job. You don’t need the money when you live here, and when you are done with Uni, you can work at Bayern.” 

The silence in the room was heavy. Georgia could see your brain working overtime. “Fine. I’ll quit the hob at the supermarket, but I’ll continue working with the kids! I will not live here for free, I will contribute to the rent.” 

The midfielder would never let you pay rent, but you didn’t need to know that, at least not now. “So we have a deal?” 

Back was the goofy grin as the brunette stared at your extended hand, which she grabbed just to pull you closer and press a giggly kiss on your lips – “Deal.”

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

liked by linamagull and 44.330 others

stanwaygeorgia: New roomie is kinda invading my personal space. Not sure if I like it...

buehlklara: 'not sure if I like it' - Sure...

-> leahwilliamsonn: I am not convinced

user01481: I need that sweater!

-> y/n: kindly lent to me by @stanwaygeorgia

linamagull: 'roomie' huh? So you did it?

user27231: Who even is that?

[ohlawdthebirds]

Ace In The Hole

Platonic!141 x Gn! and Asexual!Reader

Huge thank you to @groguspicklejar for letting me turn her drabble into a full fic. You can find the drabble here.

TW: Nothing huge, slight NSFW because sex is mentioned in this fic.

Synopsis: Price is fed up with how much Soap and Gaz sleep around. He's at his wits end until you come up with a solution.

And credit to @cafekitsune for these gorgeous dividers.

FREE PALESTINE FOREVER!!!!

Captain John Price was a lot of things: a respected member of the armed forces, a diligent leader, and an overall powerhouse of a man. He’d survived weeks of bootcamp, hailstorms of bullets, and targets on his life at every given turn. That all being said, he found himself wondering where he went wrong in life. When did he, captain of an elite task force, become mediator for his subordinates’ squabbles?

Soap and Gaz sat in front of him, petulant as toddlers, arguing over their latest paramour. The two of them shared a barracks room and were arguing over a “sleepover schedule” so that all of their “needs” were being met. From what Price had gathered, they currently had no set schedule, leaving them walking in on each other while with their barrack bunny of the week.

Not for the first time, John Price considered an early retirement.

“Ye cannae take the whole week, ye bampot!” Soap was indignant over Gaz’s proposed schedule, one that would give him Monday through Thursday, leaving Soap with Friday and Saturday. Sundays were off limits. Even God rested.

“Ah’m no lettin’ ye keep the lass to yerself. Isnae fair now innit?” He cried.

“Fair? You want the bird all to yourself, then? As I recall, you were balls deep in her most of last week. Nearly had to pry you out of her, you arse!” Gaz tossed back.

It was no secret that the two of them were sluts. Whores, even. John “Soap” MacTavish and Kyle “Gaz” Garrick had a penchant for sleeping around. They’d bedded no less than half their battalion, bedded a fair number of civilians during their leaves, and even bedded each other on a few occasions. Price would be lying if he said he wasn’t impressed. But with these conquests came the inevitable: arguing over shared partners and said partners sometimes fighting over who got to sleep with whom. It was ridiculous, really.

They continued on until Price decided he was actively losing brain cells. He slammed his hands on the desk and stood from his chair. Two of his best and brightest froze in their seats, eyes wide as they stared at him.

“Right then, is there any particular reason you lot felt the need to have this discussion in my office? Clearly you two don’t have enough to keep you busy. Seems I’ll have to change that.”

Soap and Gaz loudly protested, voices overlapping each other’s. Price was gearing up to distribute both a mountain of paperwork and multiple laps around the building when a knock came from his office door. He fixed Soap and Gaz with a piercing stare that silenced them, before calling out for whomever knocked to come in. You stepped in, brows furrowed over the yelling you heard earlier.

“Everything okay in here, sir?”

Price nodded gruffly. “These two were done anyways. Boys, you’re dismissed.”

Once Price declared something there was no pushing back on it. The man was immovable once he made up his mind.

The two sergeants decided it was best to cut their losses then and there and continue their argument back in the barracks. They greeted you on their way out, Gaz gently clapping you on the shoulder and Soap bumping fists with you. Price sat back behind his desk and retrieved a cigar from a drawer.

“I thought you were on leave today?” the captain said.

 “Still am,” you replied, “Just wanted to make sure nothing came up before I left out.”

Price shook his head. “You’re all good, kid. See you Monday.”

You grinned and nodded. You were about to move towards the door but paused, turning to face Price. “Captain, I know it’s none of my business, truly, but I overheard what Soap and Gaz were arguing about before I came in. I think I could potentially help you out here.”

Price’s brow furrowed. You continued, “You know how competitive those two get, right? Why not use that against them? Make a bet to see who can go the longest without sleeping with anyone.”

Price ran a hand over his moustache as he considered. It wasn’t a bad plan. It was certainly one that had potential.

“Could work, certainly. But you know they won’t just accept a bet without a good prize, right?”

A smirk crossed your lips. “Of course, Cap, that’s where this gets interesting.” You leaned forward, eyebrows raised. Price indulged you, leaning forward himself.

“I enter this little competition. A third person will ensure they won’t try cheating, since they’ll have to keep themselves accountable. The winner not only gets to decide on whatever weird schedule thing they’ve got going on, provided all partners consent of course, but they also get dibs on the good seat in the chopper on our next mission.”

Price sat back in his chair, mulling it over. “Knew there was a reason we recruited you. Ace, you might have just saved me a weekend’s worth of headaches. I’ll inform those two gits.”

You grinned. This would certainly be interesting, especially since no one knew you had quite the “ace” up your sleeve.

-

It wasn’t a secret that you were asexual, it just wasn’t something that came up often. You never officially came out to the 141, deeming it unnecessary. When asked whether you were dating, you’d brush off the questions by answering that you weren’t all that interested. When prompted further if anyone on base had caught your eye, you’d respond that you were too busy. These things were true in a sense; being a sniper for the 141 certainly kept you busy and even during your downtime you found yourself preoccupied with whatever hobby you’d decided to indulge in that week or hanging out with your teammates. You lived a full life and considered dating relatively low on your list of priorities. There was also something deeply hilarious about your callsign being “Ace”, though it was referencing just how skillful you were with a sniper rifle. Entering this contest wasn’t anything difficult for you. In fact, you thought it would be interesting to see how your teammates would rise to the challenge.

-

The first week after Price announced the challenge was probably the funniest week of your life. Soap and Gaz were indignant, which you expected, but they accepted the challenge, nonetheless. When Price revealed that you were also in the running, they made it a point to corner you at the shooting range. You were reloading your gun when they walked in. Soap was the first to approach you, striding forward with his arms crossed.

“So, Price told us yer the one who proposed this whole contest, aye? Fir wye?” he asked.

You placed the gun down and turned to fully face your teammates. “’Why?’” you repeated back, “Because the two of you were causing chaos on base and Price was ready to assign you cleaning duty for the rest of your careers. If anything, you should be thanking me.”

“Well, we’re letting you know that we’ve accepted the challenge. That heli seat is mine,” Gaz said. After his incident from last year, Gaz made it a point to sit as far away from the helicopter door as possible.

“That’s fine by me,” You turned and picked the gun back up, “Though, I’m sure this’ll be easy.”

Gaz cocked an eyebrow at you. “And what makes you say that?”

“Oh, nothing in particular. Just excited to see how this’ll go.” You cocked the gun and aimed it, firing off a round into the center of the target paper.

-

After finishing at the gun range, you headed towards the canteen to grab lunch. It wasn’t until you’d grabbed your food and began to look for your teammates that you heard laughter bubbling up around the canteen. You ignored it, moving towards the back table where Ghost currently occupied a seat. Ghost didn’t acknowledge you when you sat down, his eyes trained just past your shoulder. Your brows furrowed and you quickly followed his line of sight, turning back towards the door. The moment your eyes locked onto Soap and Gaz you nearly fell out of your chair in shock.

They were dressed as nuns, and from what you could tell, they were wearing legitimate nun habits instead of cheap costumes from Halloweens past. They strode forward, faces solemn and hands folded in prayer. Soap fiddled with a rosary his mother had given him on his first deployment. They approached your table, made the sign of the cross, and sat down. Ghost shot incredulous looks at the both of them.

“What’s all this, then? Halloween come early?” He asked.

“We’ve taken a vow of chastity, Lt. The ol’ Johnny and Kyle are no more. We’ve devoted ourselves to prayer and abstinence. We’re men o’ the cloth now,” Soap replied.

“Shoulda’ taken a vow of silence,” Ghost tossed out, digging his fork into whatever mystery meat the canteen had slapped on his tray.

You and Kyle didn’t bother holding back your chuckles.

“You do realize the nun habits are unnecessary, right? Price never said you had to wear them.” You said.

“Yes, but this shows that we’re serious about this challenge,” Kyle piped up.

You fixed him with a deadpan stare. “There’s absolutely nothing serious about your current get-up. But okay.”

The rest of lunch passed without much else happening, save for the occasional snort of laughter from other personnel.

-

The second week was just as nonsensical as the first. You knew the terrible two were up to no good when jangling and clanking noises came from them as they walked into Price’s office. The men sat, albeit quite stiffly, and tried their hardest to ignore Price’s hard glare.

“What’s all that ruckus?” Price growled out.

Soap had the nerve to look as though his captain were speaking in riddles. “Ah’ dunno what yer on about Cap, we’ve done nothin’ wrong. Right Gaz?”

Gaz at least had the decency to look embarrassed. You placed down the file you were examining. “What’s all that clanking you two have got going on?”

Soap wasted no time in standing up and yanking down his pants. You were met with the sight of a leather and metal thong with a padlock over the crotch. A chastity belt. The man was wearing an honest-to-God chastity belt.

The room was stunned into silence. Gaz hung his head in shame. It only took you a moment to realize he was wearing the same contraption. Ghost was the first to break the silence.

“Those come with keys?”

“Why Lt? You lookin’ to unlock me?” Soap smirked at Ghost, still a flirt despite the clear restrictions on him.

“I’m lookin’ to throw those keys out the window,” Ghost replied dryly. You caught Price trying to stifle his laughter behind his fist.

“Do those hurt?” you asked.

“Nah, but they do pinch a bit. Mostly awkward to walk around in,” Gaz said.

Price stood from his desk and passed over more files. “If you’re all well and done, Laswell’s got a few updates from last week. Give these a read.”

You had to admit, there was something comical about reading over confidential information while knowing two men in the room had actual chastity belts on. Price soon dismissed you all back to whatever tasks you had on base. You headed to the gym with Ghost right alongside you. Soap and Gaz clanked out the door and down the hall.

“How long d’you think they’ll keep this up?” You asked once you were in the gym, scooting yourself underneath the bench press. Ghost shrugged, adding more weights to the bar.

“Depends on how just how committed they are to this whole thing. Though I’m sure they’ll break soon,” he answered.

“What makes you say that?” Your hands reached up to the bar, readying yourself to lift the weights.

“Just a feeling. Adjust your grip, you’ll kill yourself otherwise.”

“No, seriously, what makes you say that?” You gripped the bar, raising up and lowering it to your chest before raising it back up again.

“On the field, those are some of the smartest men I know. On base? Barkin’ mad, the both of ‘em. Surprised they even lasted this long.”

You racked the weights above your head once your set was finished. “You’re probably right. But you have to admit, this has been a pretty entertaining two weeks.” You looked up at Ghost, who seemed to be deep in thought.

“Why’d you join this contest anyways?” He asked.

You sat up and turned to him. “Because I knew it’d be an easy win. I don’t exactly…ah, well, I figured it’d be fun to see how things played out.”

Ghost grunted in reply. “Fair enough. Now give me twenty more reps.”

You groaned as you made your way back under the bar.

-

As it turned out, Ghost was right. The third week was when things reached their breaking point. You were on the hunt for a missing knife, one you’d lent Gaz a few days back. Ghost’s words replayed in your mind; were the sergeants reaching their breaking point? Would they soon throw in the towel?

You approached Soap and Gaz’s barrack, fist raised to knock, when you heard a noise that froze your fist mid-air. There was the sound of rustling and grunting. You jumped back from the door.

There was no way…unless?

You stepped forward again, rapping your knuckles against the wood. All sounds behind the door stopped. You were about to knock again when the door swung open.

You came face to face with Gaz, his eyes blown wide and his chest heaving.

“Gaz? You alright? Why are you so flushed?”

Your eyes caught sight of a bruise on the column of his throat. In fact, there were multiple bruises. Before he could raise his shirt to cover them, you yanked down the collar.

“Hold it, what’s this? What’s this, Gazzy-boy?! You get attacked by over-enthusiastic mosquitoes?!”

Gaz swatted your hands away. “N-no, this is just-! I burned myself earlier!”

Ignoring his protests you shouldered past him into the room, where you were met with the sight of Soap trying to pull on clothes as fast as humanly possible. You paused in the middle of the room and inhaled deeply. The air stunk of sweat and lust. Soap, having wrangled himself into pants, tried to approach you.

“Listen Ace, this isnae wit ye think it is. We were just havin’ a chat, Gaz’n ah. ”

You turned to him with a grin stretching from cheek to cheek. “Oh really? Because I think you two were having more than just a chat. And I think I just won the bet. And this-” You whipped out your phone and snapped a picture of the two of them, clothes disheveled, and skin marked with hickeys, “Is enough to prove it!”

With that you turned on your heel and booked it out the door, flying down the corridor and across the building towards Price’s office. Gaz and Soap ran after you, yelling for you to stop. The door to Price’s office nearly flew off the hinges when you barged in, phone held out in front of you. Price leveled you with a glower.

“This better be good, sergeant, otherwise you’re runnin’ laps for the next hour.”

“Oh, this is better than good, Captain, this is great.” You upped your phone’s brightness and slapped it on his desk. Price leaned over, squinting at the screen. It took only a moment for him to register what he was staring at before his eyes widened. Soap and Gaz barreled into the room, out of breath and speaking over each other.

“Cap, isnae wot ye think-!”

“Ace is framing us! We weren’t-!”

Price's face darkened. He stood from his desk, your phone in his hand.

“You fools couldn’t last 3 weeks?”

The room went dead silent, and you swore the temperature dropped a little. For a moment you wondered if you made a fatal mistake.

Price stalked forward, nearly towering over the three of you.

“Ace, you’ve won the bet. But I’ve just realized that we only discussed the reward and not the punishment for this. Any ideas?” He turned to you and handed your phone over.

Gaz and Soap shot you pleading looks, silently begging for you to be merciful. And for a moment you wondered if you should make them suffer, make them writhe. But in a moment of mercy, you decided against it.

“You know, I’m impressed that these two were able to find those nun habits and chastity belts. And such high quality too! You think they can find maid costumes?”

Price’s face lit up with the sick delight. “Oh, I’m sure they’ll manage. And I’m sure they’ll wear ‘em for the next three weeks too.”

Soap and Gaz’s faces were masks of pure shock. It was at that moment that Ghost walked into the office, a cup of tea in one hand and a file in the other. He stared at the scene in front of him, turned, and walked back out.

-

You were wrong. The weeks during the bet weren’t the funniest of your life. It was truly the weeks after that took the cake.

As per your request, Gaz and Soap procured maid outfits, complete with fishnet stockings and kitten heels. They were met with raucous laughter everywhere they went. The only one with a modicum of shame was Gaz, and even then, you caught him strutting his stuff when he passed you in the halls. Soap was happy to be back to normal. He even claimed that the costume was a hit with his partners that liked role-playing.

You saddled up next to Ghost in the rec room one night, thanking him when he brought down your favorite tea from the shelf. The two of you prepared your drinks in companionable quiet. Ghost turned to you, spoon halting in his cup.

“I would say congrats on winnin’ that bet, but I figured you would.”

You huffed out a gentle laugh. “Thanks, Lt.”

Ghost paused for a moment, seeming almost sheepish.

“You, uh…you never finished what you were saying, back when we were in the gym. Said you ‘didn’t exactly' and then you trailed off.”

“Oh, I can’t believe you remembered that. Yeah, I just…um…basically I don’t experience dating and relationships the same way everyone else does.”

“What d’you mean by that?”

You stopped stirring your tea. A part of you wondered if Ghost would understand, if he’d be supportive. You knew the man well enough that he wouldn’t ridicule you, but not everyone was understanding. It often felt like being asexual was a fringe thing. You sucked in a deep breath. Regardless of anyone’s feelings, you were asexual. It was real and anyone who said otherwise could get a mouthful of your boots.

“I’m asexual. Don’t really experience sexual attraction, y’know? Like, when you see someone others deem “hot” or “attractive” or whatever and want to have sex with them? I don’t understand that, and that desire doesn’t really happen to me. It doesn’t mean I don’t have a libido, its just never directed towards any one particular person. It’s a whole spectrum.”

You ended your ramble with a sip of tea.

“Oh, so that’s what it’s called? Didn’t realize there was a name for it,” Ghost muttered. You stiffened, cup halted in midair.

“When’d you figure that out?” Ghost asked.

“Kinda knew I was different when I began faking crushes on people back in school. And anytime those “crushes” reciprocated, I was weirded out by it. I did have real crushes, but those came a bit later. I’ve dated before, and thankfully my partners were understanding. I even had sex once! Just to try it out. It was…y’know, it was fine but I’m still definitely asexual.” You trailed off with a nervous laugh. “Sorry for the ramble, but whenever people ask, I try to explain everything, so I don’t have to keep answering questions.”

“I appreciate the honesty,” Ghost said. He cleared his throat. He seemed stuck between wanting to ask more and wondering if he was asking too much. In the end, you looked over and said: “I have a few books on it if you ever want to read up more on the subject. They helped me out a lot.”

Ghost said nothing, only nodding. He gently clinked your cup with his before he turned and headed towards the door. He stopped at the door frame and looked back over his shoulder.

“Hey Ace?”

You sipped more of your tea.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

You smiled.

“Anytime, Ghost.”

[rottenpumpkin13]

headcanon: Sephiroth is hailed as an invincible soldier who can take a bullet to the chest and not flinch, up until an entire room of cadets witnesses him stub his toe and then crumble on the spot in misery

SOLDIER Second Class Zack Fair

Incident Report #4872

Date: [REDACTED]

Location: Training Room B, Floor 49

Subject: Training Exercise Incident - Sephiroth, "The Toe Incident"

OFFICIAL REPORT

At approximately 0900 hours, SOLDIER First Class Sephiroth was conducting a demonstration of proper foot positioning and weight distribution for advanced martial arts techniques. The exercise required barefoot execution as per Combat Form 7-B specifications for maximum ground sensitivity and proper form.

During the demonstration, Sephiroth's right foot made unexpected contact with the reinforced steel corner of the training mat platform. The following expletives were voiced in rapid succession:

"FUCK"

"FUCKING HELL"

"SHIT"

"SON OF A FUCKING—UGH!"

"FUCK SHINRA"

"OH FUCK EVERYTHING"

"WHO THE FUCK DESIGNED THIS GODDAMN CORNER!?"

"FUCK EVERYONE"

[Remainder redacted for length and intensity + because I feel shy writing them]

Immediate aftermath included:

• 3 cadets requiring emotional support

• 7 cadets frozen in absolute horror

• 1 cadet recording the incident (device has been confiscated)

• 1 SOLDIER Second Class Kunsel (he laughed so hard he threw up, had to be sent to Medical)

Sephiroth spent approximately 2.7 minutes on the floor alternating between lying face-down, rolling side to side, and occasionally hitting the mat while cursing in 3 different languages.

Recommendations:

- Install rubber corners on all training equipment

- Never mention this incident again

- Implement a swear jar

Respectfully submitted,

Zack Fair

SOLDIER Second Class