#lunarruled: rick grimes

[feartheliiving]

"You lied."

🧟 ―――― IT WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME HE LIED AND HE KNEW IT WOULDN'T BE THE LAST. in this world, sometimes you had to lie to survive or lie to protect your loved ones. in this case, he needed to because otherwise, she would've ran off and gotten herself hurt [ .... ] or even worse, killed. doesn't she understand that it wasn't safe out there alone? not with negan and his band of freaks watching their every move. no where was safe; not even home. and that's why it was important for her to stay right where he could keep an eye on her and protect her if something were to happen. walkers weren't the only threat to humanity; mankind was an even worse threat that frightened him more than the undead.

HE STARED FOR A LONG MOMENT INTENSELY WITHOUT SAYING A WORD. he didn't know what to say. does he lie again? does he finally come clean? the silence was deafening before he finally spoke up. he sighed deeply, “ are you tellin' me it wasn't necessary ? you wouldn't be standin' here breathin' if i didn't lie t'you, don't you get that ? yer alive 'cause of me ” he stated firmly, pressing his lips together and never taking his eyes off of her, not for a second. she needed to know just how serious this was. he couldn't afford to lose @lunarruled too. not after glenn and abraham. he couldn't deal with another death in their family. “ you should be thankin' me. ”

[insufferablemonsters]

𝔯𝔦𝔠𝔨 & 𝔨𝔞𝔶𝔩𝔢𝔦𝔤𝔥 - 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔲𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 @lunarruled.

rick  was  glad  that  kyleigh  seemed  to  be  ecstatic  to  go  out  for  a  journey.  he  always  felt  leaving  once  the  moon  had  risen  was  the  best  time  to  do  so,  only  because  that  meant  it  would  be  harder  for  any  enemies  to  track  them.  they  were  both  stealthy,  so  he  had  no  doubt  that  they  would  be  safe  leaving  this  time  of  night.  a  soft,  short�� chuckle  escapes  rick's  lips  at  her  words,  nodding  slightly,   ❛   i  get  that.  cabin  fever  ain't  no  fun,   ❜   he  replied,  walking  alongside  her  to  the  main  gate.  he  waved  goodbye  to  the  person  on  watch  and  walked  out  with  kyleigh.  there  was  a  car  full  of  fuel  ready  for  them  and  rick  went  straight  to  the  trunk  to  toss  in  his  bag  of  supplies  and  make  sure  the  extra  ammo  was  tucked  safely  and  secretively  within  the  blankets.  he  helped  her  pack  up  her  stuff  before  closing  the  trunk  and  entering  into  the  driver's  seat.  he  buckled  himself  in,   ❛   there's  some  ammo  in  the  trunk  in  case  we  run  into  any  trouble.  hopefully  there  is  none   ❜   he  informed  her,  roaring  the  engine  to  life  and  making  his  way  out  onto  the  road.  thankfully,  it  was  clear  of  the  dead  which  meant  this  journey  was  starting  on  a  good  foot,  that's  all  rick  could  ever  really  hope  for.  he  wasn't  sure  if  he  could  handle  even  more  violence  in  his  current  state.  he  was  hoping  it  would  be  a  peaceful  time  with  kyleigh.  she  brought  a  sense  of  pace  to  him,  he  wasn't  exactly  sure  why.  was  it  her  unwavering  loyal  friendship,  or  was  it  because  she  was  strong  and  brave  and  someone  he  could  trust  easily?  or  was  it  something  else  entirely?  he  shook  his  head  lightly  at  his  invasive  thoughts,  clearing  his  throat.

he  glanced  over  at  her  and  then  back  at  the  road,  lit  up  only  with  the  dim  headlight  of  the  car,  one  was  out,  and  they  hadn't  found  another  to  fix  it,  unfortunate  but  still  usable.   ❛   i  was  thinkin'  of  goin'  to  the  town  nearby  we  haven't  gone  to  yet.  just  'bout  forty  miles  outta  here   ❜   he  started,  breaking  the  silence.  he  reached  over  her  lap  and  opened  the  glove  compartment  without  tearing  his  eyes  away  from  the  road.  he  takes  out  a  map,  closes  the  compartment  back  up,  and  hands  it  to  her.   ❛   i  circled  some  places  that  might  have  the  supplies  we're  lookin'  for.   ❜

[wexarethewalkingxdead]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN!

✧☾.·:·. Alias / Name: Larissa (untapdtreasure). ✧☾.·:·. Birthday: February 6th. ✧☾.·:·. Zodiac Sign: Aquarius. ✧☾.·:·. Height: 5'5 ✧☾.·:·. Hobbies: Reading, writing, roleplaying, puzzle games, and watching t.v. ✧☾.·:·. Favourite Colour:Every color of purple and sky blue. ✧☾.·:·. Favourite Book: His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman ✧☾.·:·. Last Song: I'm not even sure. ✧☾.·:·. Last Movie / Show: 13 Going on 30 (movie) / The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon: The Book of Carol (show). ✧☾.·:·. Recent Read: ask memes and tumblr. ✧☾.·:·. Inspiration: music mostly. ✧☾.·:·. Story Behind Your URL: A quote from Rick Grimes on The Walking Dead. ✧☾.·:·. Fun Fact: I cannot wait to dress up in my Halloween costume this year and actually have somewhere to go in it.

tagged by: @godstrayedtagging: @urbxnlegxnd @misfittcd @thxwxlf @survivintothrivin @aerospectrum @torntruth @autopsified @florrentine @somniaxperdita @amarvelousmencgerie @araneorum @rickgrimesdoingrickthings @ghostofwinter @sonofsaviors @deputygonebye @secondhandmckie @careol @armandlucienduval @officergrimes-muses @unheald @lunarruled @savedpeople @emeryfleming @norvstforthvwickvd

[caracarnn]

TEN FAVOURITE CHARACTERS FROM TEN DIFFERENT FANDOMS! NOTE. all of these are from the source material bye

rand al'thor / elayne trakand (the wheel of time) they're tied ok

kaladin stormblessed (stormlight archive)

mat cauthon (the wheel of time)

magneto (xmen)

rick grimes (the walking dead)

cesare borgia (the borgias)

ciri of cintra (the witcher)

aragorn (the lord of the rings)

adolin kholin (stormlight archive)

arthur morgan (rdr2)

tagged by: @luckhissoul & @forwardlion & @asoulunbound tagging: @adversitybloomed @incissam @malumxsubest @fadedpath @withouthonor @lunarruled

[wexarethewalkingxdead]

lunarruled​:

The compliment about how well she had set up the place was heard, and if Shane had been in front of her he probably would have seen the proud smile on her face in response. But luckily for her he couldn’t since she really didn’t like her smile anyway. It was a liar’s smile, the wolf in sheep’s skin kind of thing and this guy looked like he had been through enough already. No need to surprise him with that whole shit show too. He kept up well though, now that it was a bit easier for her to observe him she could see he was pretty in shape and handling himself as if this wasn’t something new to him. Maybe before the world ended he was one of those outdoorsy types or maybe he was just well adapted to surviving. Either way she had the feeling he would do well and would probably appreciate her leaving him this place when she left in a couple days.

“You got a lot of questions there Shane.” Snark was laced in with the statement as well as the corner of her mouth lifting as they finally made it to the back door of the house, where she paused. This was the first time she had ever brought another living soul this close to what she considered her home for now and she was starting to wonder if it was such a smart idea. “But yeah, you could say that. It’s not the first place I’ve stayed in, but it’s the best one by far.” Jiggling the handle a bit she had to lean into the door to get it to pop open, the fading light of the sun spilling in from behind them. After she had initially made sure the house was clear the half lycan stayed on the first floor, not wanting to put too much distance between herself and the only exit. Not to mention the second floor had a bunch of photos of the people who had once lived there. All their belongings were up there too, and it just felt too weird to her to touch any of them.

Allowing Shane to enter behind her she waited until he moved before closing the door again, placing a very heavy chair up under the door knob. Couldn’t be too careful in this new life, that was what got you killed. Using an old Zippo she had found on one of her runs for supplies Kyleigh lit a few large candles around the kitchen area, tossing her bag onto the counter before sitting down on an old stool. “Now it’s my turn to ask the questions and I think they’re pretty fair considering you’re going to be staying here at least for the night. What kind of weapons do you currently have with you, and if it’s necessary do you think it’s fair to kill a living person?”

Shane smirked as she commented on his questions. He was just making small talk, mostly, but the truth was, he was starved for any kind of human contact. Even it was all lies. "Just been a while since I talked to someone else, is all," he admitted once she told him a bit more about the place and other places that she had been. "

He watched as she pushed on the door, causing it to scrape and finally give way. He was familiar with places like this. The Grimes' cabin that he'd stayed at with Rick and his family often swelled in the summer with the humidity. This place was probably the same and with the lack of use as of late, it had to be be worse on the upkeep of a place.

He followed her into the room, letting his eyes adjust until she lit the candles. The place wasn't too elaborate that was sure, but it had a roof and walls. He inspected the chair that she'd used to secure the door behind them. He jumped slightly as she tossed her bag on the counter and turned to watch her as she sat and looked at him.

When the question about his weapons came out of the woman's mouth, he met her eyes. "Fair enough," he admitted, moving forward and pulling his glock from the back of his pants and setting it on the counter for her to see. "One round in the chamber and a full clip. Got half a box of rounds in my bag and another clip full I carry in my pocket."

He then pulled his backpack from his back and placed it on the floor. "Got a couple knives in here. I can get them out if you need me to." He pondered her last question for a long moment before he leaned forward, placing his palms on the counter before he gave a nod.

"If that person is a threat, then yes. Yes, I do." And he wasn't ashamed of that fact either. It was survival of the fittest at best anymore, and he wasn't about to let his morals get him killed. "But only as a last resort."

[wexarethewalkingxdead]

'👄 + Rick Grimes' (for Shane)

send a ‘👄 + character name’ and my muse will talk about that character - @lunarruled

Shane never thought being asked to talk about Rick Grimes would leave him almost devoid of words. So much had changed between them since the Outbreak. Some he could have remedied had he just respected that the man had returned from the dead and had reclaimed his family, but no. He couldn't let that go.

Although everything inside him screamed that his actions and feelings were wrong, he felt that Carl and Lori belonged to him because he'd done the hard part. He'd gotten them out of King County and had been keeping them safe. And while he knew that Rick was forever grateful, he still felt that he was owed. He knew he didn't love Lori. Not the way a man in love would have loved her. He felt entitled to her.

So that brought him back to the very complicated topic of Rick Grimes. The man that had been his best friend since he was a kid. The man that had been with him through his mother running out on him and leaving him with his father and Grandma Jean. He and his Mom and Dad were then the only other people aside from his Grandma, the police officers and those present in the courtroom that knew what his father had done to him when he was almost twelve years old.

And through all that, Rick hadn't treated him any differently than he had before that horrible day. That was something that Shane had always been grateful to his best friend, his brother, his partner for. He couldn't ever repay that kind of kindness to him, and he knew it.

And now, they were barely speaking. So much of him wanted to apologize and make things right, but the stubborn part of him wouldn't allow that much of himself to be given. Not even to the man that had his back since he was a little boy. Not even to the man that had been family more than anything else.

"It's complicated." And he would just leave it at that.

[wexarethewalkingxdead]

[ 😱 ] does your muse have any specific fears? where did those fears come from? (for Shane)

PROMPTS I’D LIKE TO RECEIVE, PART 1. - ⤿   headcanon memes; comfort character edition!  tw: death, family, religion. - send in a symbol and i’ll answer the corresponding question about my muse! - @lunarruled

[ 😱 ] does your muse have any specific fears? where did those fears come from?

Shane has a fear of getting too close to people for fear of getting hurt in a way that he wouldn't be able to handle. The only exceptions to that were his Grandma Jean (who basically raised him) and the Grimes family (Rick's parents and Lori and Carl, too). This stems from the fact that his mother abandoned him when he was very young and that his father molested him at the age of eleven almost twelve. When he finally lets that wall down, the lucky lady will be one amazing lady that he 'll do whatever he can to protect.

[wexarethewalkingxdead]

Send 🍬 for a family headcanon Send 🌼 for a happiness headcanon (for Shane)

* talk about your muse! - @lunarruled

send 🍬 for a family headcanon

Grandma Jean went above and beyond for Shane growing up. She never missed a school function or a sports game. Shane knew that she was doing it to try and make up for his parents being absent from his life, but it never felt like an obligation to her. She wanted to support him and show him that she would always be in his corner no matter what. His high school football jersey number was to honor her birthday which is on the 22nd of September.

send 🌼 for a happiness headcanon

Shane couldn't remember when he was happier than spending Sundays at the Grimes household watching whatever sport was in season with Rick and Carl. Lori would fix them a ton of snacks (and would even join them depending on what sport was being played) and would make sure they all three had their preferred beverages. Shane and Rick had their favorite beer brands, and Carl had his A&W Root Beer. He'd go home on Sunday evening feeling completely fulfilled and content.

[wexarethewalkingxdead]

𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐈'𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 .

𝟎𝟏. 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐒 / 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄  :   Larissa/untapdreasure 𝟎𝟐. 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐃𝐀𝐘  : February 6th 𝟎𝟑. 𝐙𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐂  𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍  :   Aquarius 𝟎𝟒. 𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓  :   5'4" 𝟎𝟓. 𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐄𝐒  :  amateur baking, roleplay, chatting with friends, making crafts, reading (sometimes), and being awesome!  𝟎𝟔. 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑  :  Any shade of purple and sky blue 𝟎𝟕. 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊  : A Home for Jessie by Christine Pullien-Thompson 𝟎𝟖. 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐎𝐃  :  Chicken Wonton Tacos from Applebees. It changes but this is what it is right now.  𝟎𝟗. 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐌 / 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖  :  The Worst Witch, Between, Space Force 𝟏𝟎. 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  : music and the source material  𝟏𝟏. 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐁𝐄𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐔𝐑𝐋 : It’s a quote by Rick Grimes (who is one of my muses).

Stolen from: Tagged by: @lunarruled Tagging: @we-will-begin-again @betaofthedead @mercyprevaild @burnslikefire @alexis-vaughn @savedpeople @doginthecorner @careol @emeryfleming @corxunum @lostgrimesgirl @torntruth @unheald @wxr-zxne & anyone else that wants to do this one! 

[wexarethewalkingxdead]

Mun Meme

All time favorite fc? Katie Holmes.

All time least favorite fc? Sebastian Stan. 

A fc you wish had more resources? Madison Lintz.

Favorite connection type? (i.e enemies, exes, fwbs, childhood best friends, etc.) slow burn.

Least favorite connection type? (i.e enemies, exes, fwbs, childhood best friends, etc.) cheating or jealousy.

Indie or groups? Indie.

Twitter, Tumblr, Discord, or other? Tumblr.

Favorite plot you’ve ever rp’d out? Anything with Caryl. 

Least favorite plot you’ve ever rp’d out? Anything with jealousy.

Best experience you’ve had in a rp? Being able to tell Tenley that the way she works with other people won’t work with me. She was so receptive that it made me really want to work hard at communication and setting my boundaries with others. 

Worst experience you’ve had in a rp? When someone I thought I could trust turned their back on me and made me feel as if I did something wrong when I hadn’t. 

Do you prefer to plot before you start writing or do you prefer seeing the chemistry? Plotting is a must to nail down the gist of a plot, but to continue on with the ship, there has to be chemistry. 

Biggest rp pet peeve? Over formatting. Especially the use of several different fonts. 

Favorite rp genre? Angst/Fluff.

Least favorite rp genre? Fantasy.

Do you prefer writing canons or ocs? Canons.

How do you find inspo for your ocs? Watching their source material and listening to music.

Do you make new characters for every rp or keep the same characters when joining rps? I have set muses that I use depending on what muses I’m playing opposite. 

Favorite ship you’ve ever written? Caryl. 

Favorite ship you’re currently writing? Daryl & Lori. 

Least favorite ship you’ve ever written? I don’t have one. If I don’t like it, I won’t ship it. 

Do you make your rp buddies your friends, or is it strictly writing? Friends all the way. Especially my besties! 

Tell us about your current fav character to write. Carol Peletier is my favorite muse to write. Followed closely by Rick Grimes. 

Do you dislike any of the characters you’ve written in the past now? No. 

Favorite thing about the rpc now? The friends that I’ve made.

Least favorite thing about the rpc now? I dislike that communication is seen as a negative thing instead of a positive. 

What songs do you listen to while writing, if any? Whatever is in my Spotify likes. 

Do you make playlists for your characters? Not unless I’m doing an ask meme that is directly related to my muses and music. 

Do you make Pinterest boards for your characters? No.

Tell us about the character you’ve had for the longest. Carol is the muse I’ve had the longest. She’s the first person that I really clicked with on The Walking Dead. I see a lot of myself in her, and she’s my inspiration. 

Tell us about the most recent character you’ve picked up. It’s for the Law & Order: SVU fandom, but I’ve not had the opportunity to write as him yet. But it is A.D.A. / Det. Dominic��“Sonny” Carisi. 

Do you prefer 2012 tumblr rp or 2020 tumblr rp? 2020 because I wasn’t around in 2012.

Do you prefer gif icons, small/medium gifs, large gifs, or static icons? static mostly. 

In your opinion, what’s the best thing to happen to the rpc? When plotting and roleplaying turns into friendships. Some of the best I’ve ever had are because of roleplaying. 

What about the worst thing to happen to the rpc? That aesthetics mean more to some than writing. This is a writing hobby. 

Stolen from: @lunarruled

[wexarethewalkingxdead]

Do your muses like each other? What are their relationships with other muses on your blog?

an ask meme for multimuse muns - @lunarruled​

7. Do your muses like each other? What are their relationships with other muses on your blog?

There are a lot of good relationships between my muses. They all have their bones of contention from time to time, but for the most part, they get along and like each. The only two that would have to work out a lot of stuff (and thangs) would be Rick Grimes and Shane Walsh. 

[feartheliiving]

🧟   ――――           HE  KNEW  THAT  WASN'T  WHAT  KYLEIGH  WANTED  TO  HEAR,  BUT  HE  FELT  HE  COULDN'T  REST  UNTIL  HE  DID  SOMETHING  CORRECTLY.  he  couldn't  change  what  had  happened  in  the  past,  but  he  knew  he  could  try  and  do  better  going  forward.  he  had  to  for  the  sake  of  his  family,  his  friends,  and  for  the  community  he's  worked  so  tirelessly  to  build.  he  wished  he  could  make  kyleigh  see  that  too  because  he  wasn't  willing  to  rest  properly,  not  yet.  he  sighed  softly  when  she  placed  her  hands  on  her  hips,  knowing  he  was  going  to  get  a  lecture  from  her,  and  a  part  of  him  felt  he  deserved  it.  he  averted  his  gaze  down  at  his  feet  as  she  spoke,  smiling  small  when  she  insisted  that  he  rested  once  they  returned  from  their  journey  of  scavenging  for  the  saviors.  he  nodded  and  then  finally  looked  back  up  at  her,         ❛      got  it,  boss     ❜     he  replied  playfully,  a  corner  of  his  lips  twitching  into  an  amused  grin.  one  thing  he  could  always  count  on  kyleigh  for  was  to  tell  him  the  truth.  she  was  bold  and  confident,  he  saw  that  fire  within  her,  and  he  was  grateful  to  have  her  on  his  side.  he  was  going  to  make  sure  she  knew  that.        ❛      let's  go  when  it  gets  dark.  we  can  cover  our  tracks  better   —      ❜      he  advised,  approaching  her  and  placing  his  hands  comfortingly  on  her  shoulders.  he  looked  in  her  eyes  intently  before  speaking,        ❛       thank  you.  i   —   i  needed  this.       ❜

ONCE  THE  SUN  HAD  SET  AND  THE  MOON  HAD  RISEN,  RICK  MADE  HIS  WAY  OVER  TO  KYLEIGH'S  HOUSE  DOWN  THE  BLOCK.  he  had  packed  a  few  bags  of  supplies  for  himself  and  for  the  both  of  them  including:  clothes,  bottled  water,  canned  food,  tools,  and,  of  course,  weapons.  an  axe,  a  hunter's  knife,  and  ammo  for  his  pistol  in  case  they  found  themselves  in  a  rather  hairy  situation.  he  knocked  quietly  and  waited  for  kyleigh  to  answer  the  door,  offering  her  a  warm  smile  once  she  had  done  so.  he  canted  his  head  to  the  street,        ❛     y'sure  you  still  wanna  do  this     ?      i  got  no  problem  headed  out  by  myself      ❜     he  asked  her,  wanting  to  make  sure  she  felt  comfortable  leaving  the  town  for  a  few  days,  leaving  comforts  behind. 

This new world they were forced to live in was all about fighting, and sometimes Kyleigh forgot that not everyone was ready for that. That not everyone was born with a monster inside of them that made them used to violence and darkness. She had only known these people for a short amount of time so she had no idea what they had been through before she came along. But it hadn't taken her long to figure out it was a lot. Probably too much, some of them so tired of the fighting and loss that they wanted to give up. And looking at Rick she could see there had been a few moments now that he felt the same way. To just give up and let Negan rule their lives. As long as it meant no one else in their adopted family had to die. But then she would see glimpses of the man the others spoke about before; the Rick Grimes that took no shit and never let anyone push himself or the people he loved around. And she wanted that Rick to come back. Yes she understood that it was going to take some time, that he needed to grieve just as much as the others before they could start to form a plan. Let him get his mojo back so to speak and then make sure that Negan never forgot that he crossed the wrong people. The half lycan just hoped that the others would be willing to give him that time and still want to fight at the end of it all.

Him admitting that he wanted to get his fire back was a good start, though she wasn't the one that needed to be convinced of that. It was going to be a day to day process, and if she was lucky enough she would get to be a part of that. So for now she was pushing back that urge in her to take vengeance into her own hands, her wolf none too happy with her. That was fine, the two of them were always at war, but she could find something to satisfy that blood lust all on her own. Kyleigh's hands returned to her hips when she heard that no in response to Rick getting some rest. Though she had expected it that still didn't mean she wasn't going to protest about it, her eyes rolling upwards. This time instead of giving him even more grief than she already had that day, she pondered his question of going with him. At least that way she could keep him safe and maybe pick his brain a bit more over the entire situation. "Of course I'm going Rick, can't have you out there like this without some back up. But as soon as we get back you're going to get some rest. There's a whole ass town of people out there that can handle things for a few hours. I'll tie you down to that bed myself if I have to Grimes."

[feartheliiving]

🧟   ――――          AS  MUCH  AS  RICK  WOULD  LOVE  TO  INFLICT  HIS  VENGEANCE  UPON  NEGAN  AND  HIS  PEOPLE,  HE  KNEW  IT  WOULD  BE  TOO  RISKY.  risking  his  chosen  family,  and  some  of  his  own  blood,  was  not  something  rick  could  ever  bring  himself  to  do.  he's  lost  too  much,  and  some  too  recently,  back  to  back,  to  be  able  to  endure  any  more  pain  and  suffering  and  loss.  he  couldn't  make  a  plan  to  achieve  justice  until  he  was  sure  that  negan  wasn't  catching  any  whiff  of  his  trail.  he  could  feel  the  disappointment  from  his  people  and  in  turn,  he  was  disappointed  in  himself.  he  didn't  used  to  be  like  this;  in  the  past,  he  would  jump  at  the  chance  of  bursting  through  his  enemy's  doors  and  gunning  them  all  down  in  the  name  of  the  people  he  had  lost.  this  time  was  different.  they  had  tried  that  already  and  it  ended  worse  than  he  could  ever  imagine.  he  understood  everything  kyleigh  was  pleading  to  him  about  and  as  much  as  he  wanted  to  tell  her  everything  was  going  to  be  okay  and  that  they  would  get  justice  for  what  happened  to  glenn  and  abraham   [   .  .  .  .   ]   he  couldn't,  not  just  yet.  he  couldn't  give  her  a  promise  that  was  empty,  void  of  hope.  if  rick  was  anything,  it  was  honest  and  realistic.  this  may  seem  like  he  was  giving  up  but  rick  grimes   —   rick  grimes  never  gave  up.

HE  SIGHED  SOFTLY  IN  RELIEF  WHEN  SHE  FINALLY  VOICED  HER  UNDERSTANDING  FOR  HIS  WORDS.  he  was  tired  of  explaining  himself,  tired  of  fighting  with  the  people  he  cared  about  with  what  they  should  do  in  this  situation.  he  was  doing  what  he  believed  was  best  for  his  people.  what  more  could  they  want?  a  sad  smile  hung  off  rick's  lips,  nodding  once  in  understanding  and  sorrow,        ❛      i  hope  i  get  it  back  too,  kyleigh,  i  really  do   —       ❜      he  replied,  pressing  his  lips  together.  he  sat  down  and  slouched  in  his  chair,  desperate  for  a  much-needed  rest  but  that  wasn't  possible  with  negan's  impending  visit.  he  was  going  to  want  supplies,  a  lot  of  it,  and  he  needed  to  provide  it  fore  he  was  afraid  of  what  may  happen  if  he  didn't.  he  shook  his  head  in  protest,         ❛      no,  i  can't  rest,  not  yet.  too  many  things  needa  get  done.  i  put  us  in  this  mess,  it's  my  responsibility       ❜     he  stated,  getting  up  from  his  seat  and  headed  to  his  dresser,  beginning  to  pack  a  bag.  he  knew  going  on  this  run  was  going  to  last  longer  than  a  mere  few  days.  he  needed  to  be  prepared.         ❛      could  use  a  hand,  though.  you  up  for  it     ?       ❜      he  asked,  peering  over  his  shoulder  and  offering  the  same  small  smile  he  was  once  wearing.

But people already got hurt! Members of your own family were brutally murdered in front of you and yet you do nothing! True to her nature Kyleigh had answers ready for everything Rick said to her, but one look at the man and she just couldn't make herself say them. Although she had only known him a short time she could see that he was only a shell of his formal self, barely getting by each day without the overwhelming guilt crushing his bones. And she could understand that. They all looked to him as their leader and in his eyes (maybe theirs too) he had failed. Which happened, didn't matter that the world had ended, sometimes things just didn't work out like you wanted to. Now Negan had completely taken out that option, had put them all on their knees and forced them to watch as he murdered two of their own. So of course they wanted revenge, a proper way to give justice to those victims. But the former sheriff was right in how he was going about it; but not allowing them to do anything just yet. Everything was still too new, the wounds weren't even starting to heal yet and he didn't want to risk inflicing even more upon them all. And while he was in that house of his licking his wounds the half lycan was busy doing her work and listening to the hushed conversations no one thought she could hear. They were tired of this bullshit hiding, doing whatever it was that Negan wanted. The desire for someone to stand up to that man was strong and since she had taken these people into her pack, Kyleigh had fully convinced herself that she should be that person. And she could do it too. Sneak out in the dead of night, track him down, and take him out when he was the most vulnerable. He would make such a satisfying meal for her wolf too and finally allow her people to move on with their lives.

But the sad truth was she couldn't do that. No one knew her secret, not even Rick, the one that had saved her from that solitary life in the wild. And as much as it choked her to admit it a man would be taken much more seriously in the leader position than a woman ever would. Especially one that looked like she did. So she resigned herself to Rick's wishes, to be some kind of lackey for a cold-blooded murderer. "Alright Rick. As much as I hate to admit it, you do have a point. But one of these days that's not going to matter. Whether it's Negan or someone worse than him, they're going to push you or someone else in the group past their breaking point and a war is going to come. I've seen that fire in you man, I hope you get it back." Humans and their emotions were tricky things to deal with. While Kyleigh still held all of the same ones and her heart hurt at the thought of any of them living this way, she had the wolf to hide behind that could make those icy walls she built up keep any of it at bay. "Speaking of runs, why don't you stay back for today and let me go instead? You look like you could use some real rest." A part of her had the feeling that even if Rick did stay behind he wouldn't rest at all, unless he was forced to. But another part of her hoped that he would do just that, stay behind so that she could do some recon of her own without a babysitter on her tail.

[feartheliiving]

🧟  ――――        RICK  COULD  BARELY  HANDLE  JUST  GETTING  THROUGH  ONE  DAY  AND  MAKING  IT  TO  THE  NEXT.  his  nightmares  had  been  haunted  by  the  images  of  his  loved  ones  being  brutally  and  unjustifiably  murdered   —   only  to  be  used  as  a  grotesque  example.  he  can't  imagine  becoming  someone  like  that,  like  negan.  carelessly  and  immorally  murdering  strangers  and  ruining  lives  in  the  already  burdened  world.  this  was  his  family,  and  one  thing  was  for  certain  about  rick  was  that  he'd  do  anything  to  protect  those  he  called  his  own.  there  was  nothing  more  that  rick  desired  in  this  world  than  to  take  negan  out  and  avenge  those  he's  wrongfully  murdered.  every  fiber  in  his  being  was fueled  with  his  hatred  for  that  man,  every  waking  moment  fantasizing  how  euphoric  it  would  be  to  finally  get  justice  for  glenn  and  abraham,  but  he  knew  if  he  made  any  moves  to  do  so,  someone  else  he  cared  about  would  be  next  in  the  line  of  fire.  carl,  michonne,  daryl,  kyleigh   [   ....   ]   the  possibilities  were  endless,  and  it  was  something  rick  never  wanted  to  let  come  to  pass.  so,  that's  why  he  decided  to  stay  within  the  walls  and  play  by  negan's  rules.  everyone  in  alexandria  was  against  him  for  that,  waiting  for  rick  to  come  out  with  some  grand  plan  to  save  everyone  but,  the  truth  is,  there  was  no  plan.  this  was  it.  this  was  their  new  life.  he  didn't  like  it  just  as  much  as  the  next  person   —   probably  even  more  so.

RICK  HAD  BEEN  STRIPPED  OF  HIS  MASCULINITY,  HIS  CONFIDENCE,  HIS  OWN  PERSON.  he  didn't  even  recognize  the  person  he  saw  reflecting  in  the  mirror  anymore.  who  was  he  if  not  someone  that  protected  his  people?  just  another  shell  of  a  man  that  once  was  dependable  and  strong,  fearless?  now  he  could  barely  look  his  enemy  in  the  eye  in  fear  he  would  do  it  wrong,  in  fear  that  he  would  get  someone  hurt  for  the  wrong  reasons.  he  despised  it,  he  despised  himself  for  being  so  cowardly.  he  sighed  softly  at  kyleigh's  words,  his  head  hanging  in  shame,      ❛      i   —   i  dunno  if  there  will  be  a  fight   [   ....   ]   there  won't  be.  i  can't.  i  can't  risk  anyone  else.  this  is  our  life  now,  kyleigh.  m'  sorry,  it  jus'  is.  we'll  do  what  they  tell  us  to  do  and  no  one  will  get  hurt        ❜     he  explained  to  her,  hoping  she  would  understand  his  reasoning.  no  one  else  seems  to  be  on  his  side,  no  one  was  willing  to  see  this  situation  through  a  leader's  eyes.  he  valued  his  people  far  too  much  to  put  them  in  such  danger.        ❛       i  appreciate  you  bein'  on  my  side,  if  things  go  down,  but  imma  try  not  let  that  happen.  we'll  jus'  go  on  more  runs,  and  we'll  find  things,  things  they'll  be  happy  with      ❜     he  added,  feeling  his  stomach  churn  at  the  thought  of  doting  to  negan  after  everything  he's  done  to  them.

Perhaps it was the fact that she had lived most of her life in a violent world that had got her more than ready for this one, or maybe it was just how she protected herself from having to NOT think about what had happened that night. But the half lycan was having a hard time understanding why Rick wasn't already out there tracking down Negan and doing to him what he had done to their family. She understood his need to keep those still alive safe, but they all knew that evil bastard was going to come back and he was going to want more from them. More blood, more useless shit, more food. It was hard enough taking care of those already in the community, now this asshole wanted half of what they had on top of that. A thought occured to her that completely shifted how she was thinking about this and allowed her to start to get a grasp on what was really torturing Rick. Yes it was the images of Glenn and Abraham's skulls being bashed in, the sounds of anguish coming from Maggie and everyone else. But above all Negan had taken Rick's pride and his confidence, something the man cherished almost as much as those that were still alive. Being female she would never fully understand why that was so important, but in their time getting to know each other she had seen how seriously Rick took those things. The control was now in Negan's hands and that was probably more terrifying than anything they had already been through.

She still had that fire in her, the desire to go out there and hunt Negan down so she could rip his heart out and bring it back to Rick to show just how much she cared about the group. But for now she was going to have to sit this one out, swallow down the thirst for vengeance raging inside of her and listen to the man that had saved her own life not that long ago. He was right too, about her not understanding since she wasn't there. But she heard first hand from those that were and it still made her feel just as angry about it. However, when Rick looked away from her she knew it was killing him to say what he did. To hear how his voice broke at the words and the pain that was literally rolling off him. If she was that kind of person and felt like she wasn't overstepping some kind of boundary she would have hugged him and told him they would figure it out. That this was just some temporary fix to their problem. "I know Rick, I hear you. And I know you understand just how incredibly frustrating it is to do that. Every time I see that man's face I just want to kick it in, steal that stupid bat and do to him what he did to us. But I know if I did that would just cause even more pain. I hate what this is doing to everyone, but especially you. Just… if anything at all does go down please let me be a part of it. I wasn't there, but I still cared about them too and I want to make it right. Let me fight with you, when the time is right."

[feartheliiving]

🧟  ――――      RICK  WILL  NEVER  FORGET  WHAT  IT  FELT  LIKE  THAT  NIGHT.  to  be  completely  emasculated  and  stripped  away  of  all  power  he  had  gathered  over  the  years  was  something  that  haunted  his  waking  moments,  caused  nightmares  as  he  slept.  the  looks  on  each  of  his  friend's  faces,  practically  his  family,  is  something  he  won't  soon  forget.  he  remembered  how  terrified  he  was  that negan  was  going  to  pick  carl  to  bash  his  brains  in  and  it  wasn't  any  better  when  he  settled  on glenn  and  abraham.  he  remembered  how  much  blood  there  was,  coating  the  scene  and  the  sounds  of  flesh  being  pounded  into  the  ground.  it  was  all  so   [   ....   ]   traumatizing,  he  couldn't  stop  picturing  it  and  feeling  how  helpless  he  was  in  that  moment.  he  vowed  to  protect  his  family,  never  wanting  anymore  harm  coming  to  them;  if  something  were  to  happen  to  carl  or  judith   [   ....   ]   he  wouldn't  be  able  to  stomach  it.  so,  that's  why  it  frightened  him  that  kyleigh  seemed  to  be  on  a  warpath  towards  negan  and  rick  didn't  blame  her,  he  felt  the  same  way,  relating  to  the  thirst  for  vengeance.  but,  in  this  moment  in  time,  they  weren't  ready.  they  couldn't  risk  losing  anymore  people.

RICK  COULD  SEE  THAT  KYLEIGH  WAS  MORE  THAN  FRUSTRATED  WITH  HIM  AND  HE  COULDN'T  BE  MAD  AT  HER  FOR  THAT.  she  needed  to  make  things  right  and  he  did  too.  but  it  just  wasn't  worth  the  risk  at  this  point.  he  sighed  deeply,  pinching  the  bridge  of  his  nose  in  frustration  but  relieved  that  he  somewhat  had  gotten  through  to  her.  he  looked  back  up  and  met  her  eyes,        “       m'  jus'  tryin'  to  play  it  safe,  kyleigh.  we  don't  need  t'  spill  anymore  blood        ”     he  reiterated  to  her,  hoping  she's  grasped  the  point  of  this  conversation  and  his  pleas.  he  looked  away  from  her  in  shame  at  her  next  words,  feeling  humiliated  for  what  he's  been  reduced  to;  what  negan  had  reduced  him  to,  a  slave.      “       do  you  think  i  like  it     ?     do  you  think  i  like  that  bastard  comin'  in  here  and  takin'  our  things,  everything  we  worked  hard  for     ?        ”     he  asked,  serious  desperation  in  his  voice  as  he  choked  up.  he  shook  his  head  in  protest  at  her  next  words,        “      naw,  you  don't  get  it,  kyleigh.  you  weren't  there.  you  didn't  see  the  way  he   —          ”     there  was  a  momentary  pause  in  his  speech  but  his  eyes  never  leave  hers,        “       he  killed  glenn,  right  in  front  of  her.  and  abraham,  bashed  their  heads  in  with  his  bat.  he  didn't  care.  he'd  do  that  to  all  of  us  if  given  the  chance  so  why  give  that  to  him     ?   we  play  by  the  rules  and  no  one  else  gets  hurt       ”     he  finished,  guilt  paining  him  in  the  process.  he  didn't  like  it  just  as  much  as  she  hadn't  but  playing  nice  was  his  only  option  right  now.

The words shouldn't have been said, Kyleigh knew that as soon as they left her mouth. But when she was mad it was hard for her brain to keep control over her and she could tell how much it hurt Rick. He didn't deserve it, she knew how badly he was punishing himself for what had happened. And even if Maggie and Rosita and every other single person in that line up that horrible night had forgiven him, he still wasn't going to forgive himself. Hell she wasn't even sure if he had even started the process of properly grieving for those they had lost. And while she had come along later into the group Kyleigh had bonded with those they lost rather quickly, and her need for their justice was outweighing her common sense. The wolf was hungry for a taste of Negan and his men, to make them feel the pain her family members were going through. But the former cop was right, it just wasn't the time. If any one of them went out for blood right now they wouldn't make it back, and all they would be left with would be another body in the ground and a name written on the wall.

Her stubborn pride wouldn't allow her to admit defeat just yet, wouldn't allow her to just give up and be there for the others as best she could. Some of them wouldn't even speak about it after all this time, others would just get angry, and then there was Rick. When he spoke she could hear the emotions in his voice, the torment he was putting himself through having to suffer with this deal with Negan. Half of everything they had worked so hard for. "Rick…damnit I hate it when you're right!" Kyleigh wanted to stomp her feet and throw a tantrum as if she was a child herself, but she wasn't and Rick did not need yet another nail in the cross he made himself carry. "Fine, I won't go out there or do anything 'stupid' because I can't keep watching you suffer like this. But damnit we need to figure something out! I know you want to protect your children and the rest of us, but you can't do that if you keep this shit in man. I can see it, it's eating you alive. It wasn't your fault, when are you going to realize that?!"

[feartheliiving]

🧟 ―――― RICK DIDN'T WANT TO RICK LOSING ANYONE ELSE; HE KNEW HE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT. after losing glenn and abraham, watching maggie suffer through her sickness and now having to watch glenn's child grow up without him; it was too much for the leader to bare. this could've been all avoided if he had never made a move to bring down the saviors in the first place. now he had to live with the crushing and seemingly never-ending guilt of his chosen family's death. it was all on his hands and he wouldn't stand for it with kyleigh too. everyone thought he was too much of a coward to take negan on or thought he didn't want to do anything to stop him but it was quite the opposite. every night he dreamed of taking down the dictator with his own two bare hands but people die because of negan [ .... ] that's what stopped him. revenge was not the best move; at least, not yet.

THERE WAS NOTHING MORE RICK WANTED THAN TO TAKE DOWN EVERY SINGLE SAVIOR AND WATCH NEGAN DIE WITH HIS OWN EYES. he was on her side with this but he knew it wasn't smart to carry out. he shook his head in protest as she promised she could execute this plan without trouble because he knew she was wrong; she just didn't know yet. she didn't know just how powerful this man was. “ no, kyleigh. you'd be stupid to even try. do y'know how many are out there ? watchin' and waitin' ? you wouldn't even know what hit you if you were t' step outta here. i can't take anymore death, kyleigh. not you, not carl, not judith [ .... ] 'sides, negan won't do anythin' if we stay put and provide fer him. he won't do anythin', not unless we do first [ .... ] ” explained, choking up as he spoke. it hurt his pride to know just how much of a chokehold negan had on him.

Given any other situation Kyleigh could understand why Rick lied to her. The leader always felt like he had to protect them every single moment of the day, but what about him? Rick was willing to put his own life in danger but no one else was allowed to? Was it because of all the horrible shit they had been through recently as if they had never faced it before? Hadn't she proven her worth with them yet? Letting out a sigh the half lycan unclenched her fists and resisted the urge to just storm away from the former officer. She wasn't one of his children, she wasn't related to anyone in the group and she damn sure hadn't survived this world so far just to be bossed around because some asshole with barbed wire bat was out there and no one had the balls to stop him. The fact that he wasn't saying a damn word had Kyleigh feeling like she was back in high school in the principal's office, waiting for the whole 'I'm not mad just disappointed in you' speech.

"I should be thanking you?" It took so much control for her to not raise her voice, stepping closer to him so that he could hear her clearly. "You told me no one had any idea where Negan was just so I wouldn't go out there and do something about him? Have you lost your mind again? So we're just supposed to let him get away with what he did? Sit back and watch as our friends grieve over thier losses, while he could be out there planning to do something even worse to the rest of us? Well excuse me for not wanting that to happen. I could find him Rick, and I could kill him." Daryl might have been known as the tracker of the group, but with her heightened senses and her strength Kyleigh could hunt that man down and give him the punishment he deserved.

@feartheliiving