#luke was being reasonable in his mind but Jesus Fucking Christ Dude

[tallyhall-lyrics-that-match]

reading a blog post about the oct 17 dallas concert and oh man what a disaster that concert was. luke cussing out a fan and storming offstage. one of the other guys in the band cussing out luke before going to check on him. a fan passing out and the paramedics being called. jeremy somehow staying calm the entire fucking time. oh to be a fly on the wall

[peachhcs]

Luke is definitely upset for Sammy, especially after what went down in the gling to worlds fic

He knows she was so excited to spend time with Will

even though we saw some of luke’s reaction already, here’s a small blurb of him calling will about it:

the phone rang four times before will finally picked up. luke paced around his room with anger written all over his face because even though samy and him mom said not to be mean, luke was gonna be mean.

“dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?” luke spat out without even a hello or a how are you, similarly to how ryan greeted will the other night on the phone.

the blonde flinched, “you’re gonna be on my back too?”

“what the fuck do you mean i’m gonna be on your back?! of course i am! you spend an entire month with my sister in prague and then you go and break up with her as soon as we get home? what the fuck?” luke wasn’t having any of it. he’s known this kid for his entire life so the older boy was very confused on what got into him.

will flinched again at luke’s harsh tone, but he knew he deserved it. “i’m sorry,” was all the boy could manage.

“jesus christ, sorry? that’s it? did something happen between you two or what? i’ve never seen my sister this sad about something before and that’s saying a lot,” luke continued, his tone cooling off just the slightest.

“no nothing happened. i just..i don’t know man,” will frowned at the idea of samy being upset because of him.

“i’m giving you thirty seconds to come up with a better excuse than whatever you just said to me,” luke grew a bit impatient. when will didn’t say anything more, the brunette scoffed in annoyance. “look, i’ve known you your whole life. i won’t pry into things, but i never ever thought you and my sister would break up or stop being friends for that matter. you don’t have to tell me, but i’m worried for my sister and you,” the older boy’s tone softened out even more.

a sigh escaped will’s lips, “there’s just a lot going on, i guess. i can’t be the great boyfriend she wants me to be when we’re across the country from each other. she doesn’t deserve that from me. she deserves someone who’s there for her all the time. i can’t do that from california. i just..it’s for the best.”

“so said she cared about that? she doesn’t care about any of that, will. you’re all that has mattered to her. the distance..fuck that. she knows you have obligations to your sport. i don’t think she would’ve started dating you if she knew that,” luke tried.

“that’s the problem, though. i know her to know that the distance bothers her sometimes too but she’d never say any of that to me. i just thought doing it now would save us from something worse later on,” will tried explaining his reasoning.

“i think the worse has already happened, will. your logic is like highkey shit. she was so excited to be in worlds with you and support you and then you just turn around and do this shit?” the brunette shook his head in disappointment even though will couldn’t see.

“look, i already feel worse, okay? but no one’s changing my mind about any of this. she deserves better,” will stood firm on his decision.

"you're actually the stupidest person i've ever met. i'll talk to you later, man," luke didn't have anything else to say, so he ended the call.

a frustrated sigh left the boy's lips knowing will and samy were definitely not getting back together anytime soon.

[adhd-disaster-willie]

you're the one that brings the sun; chapter 1/6

Summary: Alex is prepared for every single variable except, apparently, the one in which his roommate is drop dead gorgeous and Alex is an absolute clusterfuck of a human being who falls for the first pretty boy on he sees on campus.

Willex roommate au! 

Warnings: Swearing

Notes: The title is from the song “I Dare You” by the Regrettes. I’ve actually planned this fic out so here’s to hoping I don’t get burned out halfway through. It might end up having 6 or 7 chapters, 5 is kind of just an estimate.

---

When Alex was 11, his mother proudly plastered his report card to the fridge and exclaimed that one day, her little boy would go to Harvard. His father gripped his shoulder with pride and Alex beamed up at his parents like they’d just told him he had superpowers. 3 years later, he was 14 and teetering on the edge of failure in the majority of his classes. He wasn’t stupid by any means, just preoccupied. He’d started a band with his best friends and that felt like the most important thing in the whole world, and high school was new and scary, so it was easier to not pour all his focus into school. His parents’ smiles faltered but they kept up hope, Alex could tell. 2 years later, he stood shaking and crying outside of the Molina’s garage and suddenly, the concept of going to college begun to feel distant and fake. But he’s 18 now, and somehow, miraculously, gazing at the piles of boxes in the back of Ray’s car and swallowing down a lump in his throat.

It sure isn’t Harvard, but a part of Alex feels giddy at the fact that he’s attending a public college that was relatively easy to get into; oh his parents would be rolling in their proverbial graves. What didn’t make him quite so happy though, was the looming fact that he’d be living with some random person, because for some godforsaken reason, the college wouldn’t allow freshmen to choose their roomates. Some bullshit about meeting new people and socializing.

“Hey, ‘Lex. Dude, you’ll be fine.” Luke shakes his shoulders, before swinging one arm around him and the other around Reggie.

“Says the one who isn’t even going to college,” Alex grumbles, slipping from Luke’s grip and into the front seat of the car.

“Yea cause I don’t need it. Not my fault you’re both nerds,” Luke retorts.

“I’m not a nerd, I just like to have insurance-”

“Yea, back-up plan, safety net, heard it a million times. Reggie’s a nerd though.”

“Old news, dude,” Alex says.

“I am not a nerd!” Reggie protests indignantly.

“Tell that to your 2 years of college credit in math.”

Luke nods in agreement. “Nerd.”

“Math is fun!”

“You’re horrible.” Alex makes a mock gagging noise.

Julie comes bounding out of the house, her arms decked with various baked goods. She tosses herself in the backseat beside Reggie and Luke, looking quite pleased with herself at being able to force Luke to sit in the middle. “Tía was apparently up all night baking,” she explains, passing the sweets up to Alex. “Don’t be surprised if she shows up at your dorm with food every day.”

Alex snorts. “I would not object to that.”

Julie sighs, leaning back in her seat. “You guys are so lucky, I’m tired of high school. Damn September birthday,” Julie grumbles. Her birthday is just after the cut off date, so she would be 18 for the majority of senior year, but is just barely too young to be in the same grade as the boys.

Reggie leans over and pats her arm sympathetically, earning an offended squeak from Luke, who’s only pushed further into the back of the seat.

“Don’t worry!” Alex chirps sarcastically. “You get to spend more time with Luke, since he’ll be squatting in your garage!”

“Oh, joy,” Julie deadpans.

“I am not a squatter!” Luke protests, kicking the back of Alex’s seat.

“No kicking! I’m holding food!”

“Y’know Alex, you’ve been staying in the studio for 2 years, you’re not one to talk!” Luke argues.

“I have a job.”

“A stupid job.”

“A stupid job that gets you free coffee.”

Reggie nodds to that, chewing on a cookie. “Can’t risk losing your coffee privileges.”

Julie groans loudly and stuck her head out the window. “DAAAAD! Let’s goooo!” She cries.

“Wow, I didn’t know you wanted to get rid of me so badly,” Alex says, clutching his chest dramatically.

“Oh shut up Lexi, I just wanna meet your’s and Reggie’s new best friends!” Julie says, laughing.

“I’m not gonna be best friends with my roommate.”

“Yea, Alex forgot how to do that!”

“Luke I will smother you in your sleep!”

At this, Ray approaches the car with a raised eyebrow. “No one’s planning a murder, I hope?” He asks, chuckling as he slides into the drivers seat.

“No sir!” Reggie replies, grinning.

“Not yet,” Alex mumbles under his breath.

“Alright boys, who’s ready for college!” Ray says, starting the car.

“I’m gonna be sick.”

---

“And that’s the last of it!” Ray claps a hand over Alex’s shoulder and smiles encouragingly.

Alex nods tensely, gripping the strap of his fannypack tighter.

The dorm’s probably as good as he’s gonna get. One reasonably sized bedroom complete with two horribly uncomfortable beds, a kitchen with a fridge that was in no way large enough to fit even a weeks worth of meals, a tiny living room that would probably fit a couch and a TV at the most, and a bathroom that smelled suspiciously of mustard. Really it isn’t terrible, but Alex has a habit of noticing every little detail, especially the ones that could be a problem at some point. His roommate hasn’t arrived yet, so he’s standing amongst his various boxes, anxiety pulsing in his chest.

Julie grips his hand tightly and smiles, tears pricking the edges of her eyes. “Hey, Alex, you’re gonna be okay.” She squeezes his hand briefly.

Alex nods, exhaling shakily. “Yea, yea I know. It’s just…”

“A change, I know. But this is a good change. And-” she hauls Reggie and Luke over to them. “-we’re all here if you need to call someone and talk. And dad, and Tía, and I bet your roommate will be super cool.”

“Or a serial killer.”

“Just pray he’s not a football player,” Reggie stage-whispers, shuddering.

“God, don’t even suggest that!” Alex whines.

Encouragements and teary hugs are passed along, as well as a promise to meet at the Olive Garden nearby for dinner in a few hours, and then Alex’s posse is off to get Reggie settled, and Alex is left alone in the dorm. Alright.

Alex takes a deep breath, steeling himself, before beginning to wander the dorm. He’s anxious to start unpacking without his roommate and risk doing something that they wouldn’t like. Even choosing a bed feels wrong, he really doesn’t want to get off on the wrong foot with this person. But leaving the dorm meant people everywhere so that was a definite no. He sighs, lowering himself to the wooden floor and pulling out his phone.

“Yea… uh huh. Yes Caleb, I got here fine. No the Uber driver did not try and kidnap me. The boxes- the boxes are not too heavy. Okay. Okay. Yea, bye. Mhm.”

Alex looks up hesitantly upon hearing the voice nearing his dorm. The person standing in the doorway is well… less of a person and more of a large stack of boxes threatening to fall over any second. “Hello?” Alex stands up and makes his way to the boy stood in the entrance.

Said boy pokes his head out from behind his boxes and grins crookedly. “Hi, uh, I’m Willie!” And well, Alex is a goner. He swallows thickly, breath catching in the back of his throat. Willie attempts to adjust the boxes but ultimately fails, sending them tumbling to the ground amongst several muttered curses. “Well… nothing fragile in there,” he falters slightly. “I think.”

“Um…”

“Right! Sorry, uh.” Willie holds his hand out and Alex shakes it tentatively.

“Alex.”

“Alex, cool.” Willie smiles again, his dark eyes twinkling as he does so, smile lines popping out. He brushes his hair -which looks so soft and pretty- behind his ear to reveal a small golden hoop on his right lobe. Alex is dead, actually 100% dead. Because he’d been prepared for every single variable except, apparently, the one in which his roommate is drop dead gorgeous and Alex is an absolute clusterfuck of a human being who falls for the first pretty boy on he sees on campus.

Alex forces out a smile, all too aware that he’s still standing stiff and awkward in front of Willie, his grip on his fannypack tight enough to make his knuckles glow white. Then Willie coughs as some sort of attempt to fill the silence. “Sorry!” Alex squeaks. “Do you need help with the… the uh, boxes?”

“Oh yea, that’d be great!” Willie replies, beaming. “I don’t think there’s anything fragile in there, but y’know, my memory is absolute shit so if I broke some fancy china dishes I didn’t even know I owned, don’t be too shocked.”

Alex laughs anxiously. “Yea uh… I didn’t start unpacking cause I um… I didn’t want to claim a bed and stuff with-without your input?” His voice cracks at the end and he winces because Jesus fucking christ Alex.

Willie chuckles and Alex notes that he has the kind of laugh that echoes through your whole body and settles right in your heart. “ ‘S cool, man, I don’t mind.”

“Right, cool. Do you uh… are you okay if I take the bed farthest from the window? I’m not- not much of a morning person, and the window is… it’s east facing” Alex mutters, his gaze focused on his feet which are rocking back and forth at a rapid pace.

“Yea, of course,” Willie replies. “I don’t think I’ve woken up later than 8 in 5 years.”

“That’s horrific!” Alex cries, momentarily forgetting his anxiety. He steps back and blushes an even deeper red upon realizing how stupid he’s being. “I mean- I just… sorry, I just meant that-”

“You’re good, dude. I don’t bite.”

Alex cracks a tentative smile. “So uh… I’ll just start unpacking then.”

Willie shoots him a thumbs up and smiles once again, which is a thing he apparently does a lot.

An hour later, Alex’s belongings are unpacked and organized and the room feels a bit more his. He feels slightly lighter, exhaling and closing his eyes briefly. This isn’t so bad. Fiddling with the hem of his hoodie, he shuffles out into the living room where Willie is presumably unpacking. Except that he’s not.

Willie is laying upside down on a couch that somehow appeared while Alex was gone and he’s flipping through a tattered magazine while his belongings remain mostly unpacked.

“This quiz says that I should try roller skating,” Willie sniffs. “Some personality test this is- oh hey Alex!” He scrambles up so that he can look Alex in the eyes properly, and points to the magazine in his hand. “Found this in a box, not sure how it got there since I’ve never even subscribed to one of these, but there’s a chocolate chip cookie recipe in here.” He stops for a moment, pondering. “Personally I prefer peanut butter cookies, ooh especially fresh out of the oven. There’s this bakery near my house that-”

“Did you get… any unpacking done?” Alex asks, raising an eyebrow.

Willie looks around at his boxes and laughs sheepishly. “Well I unpacked one and opened 3 so… some, yes.”

“Where’d the couch come from?” Alex pokes the cushion warily, as if afraid that it’s full of bugs.

“Room across the hall,” Willie says, pointing. “They both brought couches and didn’t have room for two we got the one with more stains.”

“Right.” Alex’s reply is forced and tense, and he winces upon realizing. Truthfully, he hadn’t expected his roommate to become so comfortable so fast and he felt like he was several steps behind. Damn extroverts. Drumming his hands against his thighs, Alex slowly sits down on the other side of the couch, pointedly looking ahead instead of at Willie.

“So.” Willie scoots closer, sitting cross legged with his elbows on his thighs and chin resting in his palms. “What’s your major?”

Small talk, god Alex hates small talk. “Um, music,” he answers.

“Ah, that’s cool dude.” Willie nods.

“Uh, what about you?” Alex asks.

“Art,” Willie replies, grinning. “Be prepared for paint stains, like, everywhere.” He chuckles and nudges Alex’s shoulder playfully. Alex is going to implode, he’s sure of it.

Alex laughs awkwardly. “So uh… what’s wrong with rollerskating?”

Willie shoves his shoulder again. “Everything, dude! Well-” he cuts himself off, thinking. “-I just kinda suck at it, definitely better at my skateboard.” He jerks his head in the direction of a skateboard leaned against the wall and Alex wonders how he didn’t notice that.

“Oh, that’s- that’s cool. I rollerblade but I uh, I can’t skateboard to save my life.”

Somehow, they slip into a comfortable rhythm, and Alex notes that his anxiety no longer has him in a chokehold. Willie seems to have that affect; he’s just so… open. Alex doesn’t realize it yet, but he’s subconsciously created a folder in the back of his mind labelled “Willie,” and he doesn’t think he’s capable of forgetting anything Willie will ever say to him.

“- that’s why airplane food is just, horrible. Cause you basically lose like 30% of your tastebuds because of the elevation.” Willie smiles at Alex, gaging his response.

Alex would rather die than admit that he’s still trying to figure out how the topic of airplane food came up, so he just nods enthusiastically, actively stopping his eyes from dancing across Willie’s face, which is practically glowing in the evening sun. Evening. Shit. Alex pulls out his phone frantically. “Shit.” He says it out loud this time.

Willie’s brow furrows in confusion. “You good, dude?”

“Uh yea I’m just, I’m supposed to be meeting my fam- uh my friends for dinner and I have to be there in like 5 minutes.” He ignores the way Willie’s expression falls, convinced he’s just seeing things.

“Yea um, of course. I won’t keep you.” Willie stands up, his posture the stiffest that Alex has seen it in the whole 3 hours they’ve been acquainted for. “I’ll just… order a pizza.”

Alex hesitates in the doorway, weighing his options, which has never been his strong suit. “Do you want to join me?” He blurts impulsively. Willie looks at him in surprise. “I mean only- only if you want of course, we’ve only really uh, known each other for a few hours and you- you probably don’t want to, it was stupid. I’ll just- I’ll just go-”

“No! I’d… I’d like to, eating pizza alone in the dark sounds a little pathetic,” Willie responds.

Alex smiles genuinely. “Ok, ok that’s uh. Cool. That’s cool.”

---

Alex is already regretting this. The restaurant isn’t too crowded, he notices with a relieved breath. But it’s loud. It’s loud and yet only one group of people is talking. Alex doesn’t even need to guess who.

“Ok but- no- no- the whole song would be better!”

“Say banjo one more time, I dare you!”

“Banjo.”

“Julie, what the hell?! This is betrayal!”

“You stole my breadstick, it’s only fair.”

Alex coughs, quieting the table to a dull roar.

“Alex!” Julie pulls him down to sit next to her. “Oh? Who’s this?” Reggie is grinning wickedly and Luke waggles his eyebrows in a way that makes Alex want to shave them off.

“This is uh, my roommate Willie,” Alex responds, his voice raising an octave. “He didn’t have plans so I uh… I invited him, I hope that’s ok.”

“Of course it’s ok!” Julie pats the space on the other side of Alex and Willie sits down, appearing… oddly nervous.

“Congrats! Your Alex’s first new friend since,” Luke taps his chin, pretending to think. “7th grade.”

Alex’s face promptly falls into his hands. He’s seriously considering the whole, shaving Luke’s eyebrows in his sleep thing.

Reggie leans forward conspiratorially. “What’s your opinion on banjos?” He asks, making a point to ignore Luke’s dramatic complaining.

Willie raises his eyebrows, clearly confused. “Um. No comment?”

“I’m… sorry about them,” Alex says apolegetically. “Uh, this is Luke, Reggie, and Julie-” he gestures to each of them; Reggie waves, beaming happily. “-and Julie’s dad should be…” He trails off, looking around.

“He had to take a phone call, something about Carlos refusing to eat dinner until he proves the house is haunted,” Julie explains, clearly biting back a laugh.

“I… okay.” Alex shakes his head. “Are we waiting for more food or did Reggie eat it all?”

“Ha ha,” Reggie punctuates his statement by sticking out his tongue. “We’re waiting for the actual meals-”

“Yea Luke already ate the entire bread basket.” Julie shoots a glare in Luke’s direction.

“Well… you suggested we get hotdogs,” Luke grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. “Payback.”

“Okay,” Julie laughs.

Willie leans over to whisper loudly to Alex, “What’s the story with the hotdogs?”

“Don’t tell him!” Luke cries, leaning across the table and slamming his palms down.

“We don’t talk of the hot-dogs,” Reggie mutters miserably.

“Food poisoning.” Alex shudders slightly. “Very bad food poisoning.”

“We almost died,” Reggie says, eyes widening. “Like, for real death. I’m pretty sure I was a ghost for a few seconds.”

“Reg, you were not a ghost,” Alex says, speaking like Reggie’s a 10 year old talking about monsters under his bed.

“I was!”

“You were not!”

“So,” Luke smiles mischievously, taking Reggie and Alex’s bickering as an opportunity to apparently torture the latter. Despite Alex’s warning glares, he turns to Willie with an innocent expression. “What kind of music do you like?”

“Luke,” Alex hisses, all too familiar with Luke’s antics.

“Hmmm.” Willie is painfully oblivious to Alex’s panicked expression as he mulls over his answer. “A lot of stuff really.” He shrugs. “Rock, pop, I like those lo-fi playlists when I’m trying to study.”

Luke nods, clearly pleased with the answer, but he isn’t done and Alex wants to hide under the table. He knows what’s coming next. “Thoughts on… drummers?”

“Luke.” Alex is seconds from lunging across the table.

“Drummers?” Willie asks, tilting his head confusedly.

“Yup,” Luke says, popping the p and still smiling like he’s some sort of innocent puppy-dog and not an absolute bastard.

“Hot,” Willie jokes. Alex can’t even hide the way he manages to choke on his own spit, and Luke and Reggie have never been great at subtlety, turning to Alex with matching shit-eating grins. Willie either doesn’t notice or is kind enough not to comment on it. “Yea, pretty sure young Roger Taylor was my gay awakening.”

Reggie is full on giggling now, and Alex’s entire face is gleaming a bright red. Willie glances around the table, puzzled.

“Mhm.” Luke nods before swiftly turning to Alex. “Hey Alex, by the way, you left your drumsticks in the car, do you need them back?” His voice is sickeningly sweet, coated in some sort of poisoned honey. It’s Willie’s turn to choke on nothing, failing to disguise it as a spontaneous coughing fit.

“Fine,” Alex squeaks as he sinks further down in his seat. If he pulls out his phone and messages Luke a flurry of threats, that’s no one’s business. He dares a glance at Willie, who has become quite fascinated with his hands, which are tapping out a mindless rhythm on the table, his cheeks and the tips of his ears dusted red.

Needless to say, Alex makes sure Luke doesn’t even get to look at the next bread basket.

---

I hope you liked it! Tell me if you want to be added to the taglist :)

I’m hoping to update at least once a week, but who knows. Ok thats all.

chapter 2

Chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 5

chapter 6

[xbananaleensyo]

“I love you” call

Ship: Ohmtoonz

Warnings: mentions of alcohol/drinking

Words: 3,755

Summary: Ohm loved Cartoonz but he doesn’t know. One day, however, Ohm gets drunk and tries to call a certain someone. Aka Ohm is a fluffy, loving drunk and doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut.

A/N: Hey guys! This is my first fic I’ve ever made and I’m pretty proud of it : ) So, thank you for reading it and I really appreciate any likes/reblogs/comments! Have a nice day, yo.

              Ohm wasn’t much of a drinker. It just wasn’t something he did much. Sure, he had the occasional glass of wine at dinner parties and the mandatory swig of beer during the Super Bowl but that was all for show. He never really indulged too far into it. He felt, at most, slightly warm from the minimal consumption and can’t remember the last time he truly was drunk. But it seemed tonight was different.

              Ohm tipped the bartender and sipped at the bottle of beer he just ordered. He scanned the ballroom, spotting the couple of the night instantly. It wasn’t hard to find them, their presence radiated happiness, true love flush on their cheeks and gentle stares. Ohm couldn’t help the throbbing sensation in his chest. It was accompanied by a slow southern drawl and cheeky grin that tended to occupy his mind, especially in moments like these. He looked at the newly-wedded couple and wanted it, wanted what they had so badly instead of this longing ache. Ohm sighed, loosening the tie on his neck, before taking a gulp of his drink and joining his peers in another round of shots.

              ��Bye! Thank you for bringing me home, dude! I appreciate you and your service.” Ohm yelled back at the uber before shutting the door and walking the steps to his front porch. He searched his pocket for his keys, reminding himself out loud that he needed to give his driver 5 stars and a good review. She was a nice woman, entertaining Ohm’s drunk rambles during the late night drive. He was suddenly glad he decided to carpool to the wedding venue that morning because, based on the slight stumbles up his yard, he can assess that he was in no way, shape, or form able to drive himself home, Heck, he couldn’t even find the right keys to his door.

              “There you are!” Ohm cooed, giggling as he slotted in the key to let him in. Right when he walked through the door, he was greeted with excited paws batting at his ankles and welcoming yips. Ohm was beaming at the sight.

              “Tiny! You’re such a good boy! I love you so much.” He said while carefully kneeling and cuddling the pup.

              “I’m very drunk, Tiny. So we can’t—we can’t play a lot. But just wanted to let you know that I love you and you’re the best.” Ohm sent Tiny back to his doggy bed after one last pat on his back. He decided that it probably wasn’t a good idea to let Tiny sleep in the bed with him tonight. Ohm closed his bedroom door and plopped on his mattress, somehow taking off his shoes and dress pants on the way. He should sleep he thinks but the alcohol was still running hyper in his veins causing him to feel energized and elated and fuzzy. He felt so goddamn warm, honestly. Like he was so happy and wanted to share the happiness with everyone else. And he should. There was so many good people in his life that deserved it and when was the last time he told them how much he loved them? Not enough! He concluded, already taking out his phone out of his vest pocket. He silently thanked technology for having fingerprint recognition.

    Ohm went to twitter first, sending out a quick appreciation post to his fans and followers. Then, to his discord, giving out short but meaningful messages to as many streamer and YouTube friends he can think of. Next, it was his contact list on his phone where he kept the closer people in his life. These were the ones he was gonna spoil with love. Ohm sighed with satisfaction when he hit send on Delirious’ text, stacked with paragraphs on how much he helped him over the years. He went back to his list, finally stumbling on the contact that made his heart burst:

Toonzy <3

              Ohm’s thumbs froze over the screen, not quite sure how to start the text. There was just so many things he loved about Cartoonz—which ones should he say first? Can written text even convey all the things he wanted to say? Can he even type all the love he had for him? Perhaps, he should call him instead.

              “Hi Toonzy!” Ohm greeted excitedly right after the ringer broke. There was silence on the other line though before another voice spoke up.

              “Uhh Ohm? This is Delirious?” Ohm mentally slapped himself, wondering how in the world he messed that one up. But looking at the blurry name on his screen, he can confirm he was, in fact, talking to Delirious. Oh well.

              “Oh…oh! Delirio~ Sorry, I tried calling Toonzy. I wanted to tell him some things.” Ohm thought for a second. Even if it was an accident, he shouldn’t let this call go to waste, right?

              “But-but, wait, don’t hang up yet Delirious! I wanna let you know some nice things too. Because, because lemme tell ya. You, you, are a wonderful man and I’m glad you’re in my life. I love you and…and you deserve all the love!” Ohm heard Delirious’ happy laughter on the other end, pleased that the other enjoyed his declaration.

              “Awww, thanks Ohm. I know, I saw the text messages. Love you too man, really, and I appreciate ya but are you uhhh are you drunk?”

              “Nooo I’m not drunk. I’m really drunk.” He answered, extending the ‘really’ for extra effect. He laughed at his own joke. “There was a wedding Delirio~ my…my sister’s. And it was beautiful! There was decorations and cake and good food and dancing and an open bar…” Ohm chuckled again, remembering the open bar quite well. An amazing add-on to an already amazing wedding.

              “My sister has incredible taste, Del. It, it was nature-themed! There was lots of flowers and leaves. Trees. And…and it made me realize I want a wedding like that…” And at that moment, Ohm made a mistake. He couldn’t stop his rambling, his mouth wanting to say everything on his mind. His feelings were going a completely different direction now and he felt tears starting to collect in his eyes. “But I don’t think I can! I definitely can’t.”

              Delirious seemed surprised by the mood change. He scrambled to find his words before speaking. “Ohm ca—calm down! I’m sure, I’m sure you’ll have a beau-ti-ful wedding with nice flowers and gifts and food! Don’t cry please!” Ohm shook his head even though he knew Delirious couldn’t see him.

              “Nooo you don’t understand Jon! I’m gay!” Ohm cried out, trying to make a point through his fuzzy mind. But it seemed Delirious wasn’t having it.

              “Uhhh Ohm, we know that already? You told us that like…like last year? And we fully support you and that doesn’t fucking mean, at all, that you can’t have a—”

              “No, no listen. You don’t understand. Jon, I’m gay gay. Like…like I’m gay for someone. But I don’t think he’s gay gay for me? Delirious, Cartoonz doesn’t feel the same way, huh?” he felt the ache in his heart again, letting a few tears slide down his cheeks.

              “Car-cartoonz?” Delirious sputtered. Ohm gave a long sigh.

              “Yeah…Toonzy. He’s funny and genuine and attractive and just gets me, ya know? I just wanna kiss him all the time and cuddle him and…and go on dates with him and touch him and fu—”

              “Jesus Christ.” Delirious breath. “You can’t just…just…hold on. Can you hold on? Hold on a sec, Ohm.” Then Delirious was gone. There was a lot of shuffling and mumbling in the background that he couldn’t understand. But before he could figure out what was going on, Delirious was back.

              “Okay, can you say that again, Ohm?”

              “I wanna fuck Cartoonz!” He declared, hearing more shuffling along with a sharp gasp and ‘not like that!’ protests coming from Del. Maybe, that wasn’t the exact phrase he was looking for. “No, no wait…make love with Cartoonz. Yeah, that. I love Luke. But not like…I love you Delirious but I’m uhhh in love with Luke. For a long time now. He’s, he’s amazing~ And I love spending time with him. But he doesn’t love me…why would he love me…? His insecurities were starting to leak out. Because it’s true. Why would Luke ever like him in a way that was more than a friend?

              “For fucksakes why…look, Ohm, I have a good feeling that Luke loves you back. You’re a great guy, don’t be so down on yourself. He’ll be lucky to have you.”

              Ohm shifted his weight to the side, his voice quieter than before. “How do you know that?”

              “I just have a very, very strong feeling.”

              “But why would he—”

              “Ryan, just please trust me here, okay?” Delirious pleads. He jumps at the sudden name-drop. Jonathon never calls him by his real name. He also never sounded so conclusive before.

              “Okay Jon, I’ll try.” He yawns, finally starting to feel the night catch up with him. But he can’t sleep yet.

              “You should probably go to sleep, man.”

              “But Toonzy…I gotta call…” he yawns again.

              “Tomorrow dude. Better if you’re sober and n-not about to pass out.”

              “But…Yeah…true…I’m sleepy.” Ryan starts to close his eyes as he says those words. He tries to relax through the spinning in his head. It feels like a whole minute has passed of him breathing into the mic and he assumes Delirious already left the call.

              “Good night, Ohm…”

              He barely hears the quiet murmur at the end. Ohm’s interest piqued as it sounds kinda off. It was huskier. Deeper. Ohm almost forgot who he was talking to. But it wasn’t enough to break the tiredness that was closing in on him. Ohm’s body starts to slack, he vaguely feels the thump of his phone as it falls on the bed. His thoughts float in his head, drunk, but specifically drunk on Cartoonz. Memories of hefty laughs, long beards, and southern accents filled his mind before finally settling into sleep.

               The morning after sucked. Ohm groans, finally remembering this being a big reason why he didn’t drink much. This part is utter crap.

              “I hate myself. I fucking hate myself.” Ohm mumbles, covering his arm over his eyes. He forgot to pull his blinds so the sunlight he usually loved to greet was glaring at his mistakes. His head throbbed, noting that he was still in his dress shirt, suit jacket half-on but was pantless somehow. His mouth was dry and tasted like alcohol and regrets. Suddenly, he heard Tiny bark in the livingroom signifying that there was someone in the house. But before Ohm can process if he was getting robbed or not, his gut fails him and he rushes himself to the bathroom.

              “Ohm? You okay in there, bud?” Ohm hears through the knocking on his door and his loud heaving sounds. He recognizes the voice to be Cartoonz and is glad that he decided to give him that extra key.

              “Yeah, I’m just, shit—” another round rises up his throat. Ohm is gripping the toilet bowl for dear life as whatever contents start spilling through. He doesn’t notice Cartoonz next to him until he feels hands on his shoulder, massaging his back sympathetically.

              “Goddamn Ohm, you got absolutely fucked up. I didn’t know you had it in you.”

              “Well, nothing is in me now…” Ohm says weakly. Grabbing a towel to wipe off the excess residue off his mouth. He leans on his bathtub, relieved that he can finally breathe. Cartoonz hands him a water bottle which he gladly used to gargle his mouth with before taking two big gulps.

              “So, what brings you here, Toonzy?” Ohm asks. Though he’s not complaining that he did show up, Ohm knows Luke isn’t the type of guy to come in unannounced.

              “Jonathon texted me this morning. Said your dumb hungover ass needed some assistance, probably. Just think of me as your Alcohol Poisoning Rescue Squad.” He patted the bag he was carrying to capitalize his status. That was probably how he got the water so fast.

              “Now come here, child, and lets get you all cleaned up!” Cartoonz hollered, helping him get up and escorting him to the sink.

              Ohm just rolled his eyes. “We’re practically the same age, Cartoonz.” But Cartoonz ignored him, opting to the kitchen to probably make food. Ohm looked at himself in the mirror, hissing at his reflection. He felt like shit and looked like shit. That was great. He got to work, brushing his teeth and taking a quick shower to scrub off the grime of last night. Once he was washed and changed into fresh clothes, he felt a lot better than before.

              “Pedialyte?” Ohm questioned as he entered the diningroom to find a plate of scrambled eggs waiting for him as well as some pills, a glass of water, and a bottle of Pedialyte.

              “Yeah. Del’s recommendation. I don’t drink much so I can’t say but Del swore by that stuff when he did. Oh, here’s your coffee too, by the way.” Cartoonz places a hot mug beside him, the familiar smell wafting through the air. “Made it how you like it too: disgustingly sweet and undrinkable.” He wrinkles his nose at the thought.

              “No, you’re just a barbarian and drink it straight black. What sane person drinks it straight black?” Ohm retorts, blowing at his drink to cool it down. He will fight for his sweet-tasting coffee to the death.

              “Agree to disagree.” Cartoonz huffs, settling in the chair next to him with his own plate and cup. They ate their food in comfortable silence. Cartoonz hummed and scrolled through his phone while Ohm picked at his eggs. He tried to recall what he did last night, memories of bouquets and shots filled his mind. Then he got home (somehow) and wobbled to his bed. He texted people, he thinks, and he hopes to god that it was nothing too embarrassing. And then he remembers he was talking to someone…didn’t he call Delirious?

              Ohm dropped his fork in realization. He did. He admitted his crush to Delirious. And Delirious sent Cartoonz over here. What in the heck…

              “You okay there, Ohm?” Cartoonz asked. Ohm didn’t realize he was staring at him. He picked up his fork and cleared his throat.

              “Yeah, I’m fine Toonzy. Just thinking through this headache, no worries.” Despite the reassurance, Cartoonz arches his eyebrow.

              “Are you sure…? I mean, there’s just something that’s been bugging me and I really should ask.” Cartoonz sighs, setting his phone down on the table. “Ryan, you don’t usually drink, especially get wasted, is there something wrong? And don’t tell me that ��it was a wedding’ shit. ‘Cause we’ve been to plenty of parties before and you never had more than a bottle or two. You even told me it just wasn’t your scene. You can tell me if there’s something wrong.”

              Ohm couldn’t help his stomach fluttering a bit at Cartoonz’s concern. Any delicate attention Luke gave him made it flutter and this time, despite being hungover, made no difference. Of course, Luke was the one to spot the slight intention of his actions. That his night of binge drinking wasn’t just from the atmosphere of celebration. Luke knew him well, Luke could read him. Another reason why he was so in love with the damn guy.

              Ohm groaned, wondering how he was gonna tell the truth but not at the same time. He wasn’t gonna lie but he was also not gonna confess. Sober him was still unsure about Delirious’ observation last night. He wanted to trust him but he needed time to think about it, digest it, and besides, he didn’t feel well enough to try anyways.

              “No? Yes? I-I don’t know Cartoonz. I guess, I just got carried away and lost it.” Ohm sighs, pushing his hair back and leaning back on his chair. “The first drink was out of courtesy. The second drink was with peers. The third drink was because of the YouTube algorithm and the rest after that was…” Ohm closed his eyes, thinking about the pain in his chest at the wedding, a pain that was too familiar in his life. “…was my stupidness, honestly. I was being stupid. I love my sister, Toonz, don’t get me wrong. I’m happy for her and her husband. I cried at the ceremony. But…but she’s my younger sister, Toonz. By a good chunk too and, I don’t know. I couldn’t help but feel so jealous and, and lonely and—” wanting you. Ohm shook his head, feeling a wave of nausea when doing so, pushing it down along with his heartbroken feelings. It was hard being so in love when he knew he wasn’t suppose to be. He wanted what his sister had at that moment, to love who his heart desired freely. But he was too much of a coward and so drank way more than he should’ve to forget the fact.

              “I have a good feeling that Luke loves you back.” Delirious’ voice echoes in his mind. But that’s impossible.

              Suddenly, Ohm’s hands are being grabbed and placed on Luke’s lap. His eyes are sad looking at Ohm’s but they weren’t filled with pity like Ohm expected. They were filled with something soft that he couldn’t pin point.

              “I’m so sorry, Ohm. I wish you didn’t feel that way. But I get it. I fucking get that feeling. You have no idea. And it sucks. I even thought I was just going to live with the feeling, get use to it. Just for the sake of it.” Cartoonz’s thumb started rubbing the side of his hand, obviously nervous about the next thing he was about to say. He brought their hands closer so they laid on the base of Cartoonz’s chest. Ohm was a little surprised by the gesture. He could feel the man’s rapid pulse beating under his palms. “But that changed, I think. I hope it changed. I feel like I have a chance now when a little drunk bunny called last night…” Cartoonz smirked at Ohm’s confused look while he ransacked his memories. He didn’t call him and just didn’t remember, did he?

              “What do you mean by…”

              “…while I was in a certain idiot’s livingroom…”

              “No. He didn’t. He—”

              “…and was put on speaker phone…”

              “I’m gonna fucking kill him.” Ohm proposed, feeling the vibration of Cartoonz’s chuckle. His face was hot from embarrassment and shame. But soon was hot from something else.

              “I love you too, Ryan. So fucking much it’s ridiculous. I thought I was saving our friendship by not telling you. I didn’t think we could be more than that and, god, I’m really hoping that what you said last night wasn’t just some drunken dare. Because I don’t think I can handle it if it was just some joke.”

              Ohm shakes his head and pulls his hands back along with Luke’s. He presses Luke’s knuckles against his lips, letting it linger before speaking.

              “I meant every word of it. There’s no joke. I’ll even say it again sober: I’m in love with you Luke for who knows how long and…I want the chance to show you that.”

              Ohm couldn’t believe this was happening. It was surreal how fast it happened, how random it was. He couldn’t breathe but at the same time his lungs never felt so free. He wrapped himself around Luke’s neck, leaning in closer to kiss the lips he’s only dreamt about, but when said man pushes him away with a grin on his face, Ohm couldn’t help but question what was going on.

              “Look, Ohm, I love you and all and god do I want you, but I just watched you throw up buckets of puke a second ago. I am NOT kissing you right now.”

              “But, but I brushed and rinsed Toonzy! Twice!” Ohm pouted, crossing his arms at the rejection.

              “Nope, still disgusting. Not happening.” He patted Ohm’s head.

              “That’s rude, Toonzy. That was like the perfect fanfic moment, I’ll have you know.” Cartoonz just shrugged.

              “What about take me on a date and then we’ll see about the kissing.”

              “Oh. There’ll definitely be kissing.” Ohm said, lowering his voice so it was smooth as velvet. Ohm hummed in success when he caught Cartoonz biting his lip.

              “Okay, Ohm, can you stop being a creep and eat your goddamn eggs.” Ohm reached out, however, not wanting the moment to end just yet.

              “Wait, what time are you free? To take you out, I mean.”

              “Does tomorrow sound fine? I have to do some recording with Del in the morning but I can catch dinner.” Ohm scanned his schedule in his head, happy he was due to record in the afternoon.

              “That’s perfect.”

              “You’re perfect.” Cartoonz said, giving a quick peck on his forehead. Ohm sighed into the kiss, leaning his head on his shoulder to try to engulf himself in Cartooonz’s embrace. He wanted as much of him as he can get. He needed to catch up somehow.

              “You know, I can’t be mad at Delirious if this is the result. I know his intentions were good and he knew we just needed a catalyst but I still want to kinda punch him in the face, ya know? Maybe just the shoulder. But only just a tiny little bit.”

              “Oh, I’m way ahead of you. No one breaks your trust on my watch.” Cartoonz takes out his phone to show him a picture of a sleeping Delirious. In it, Delirious seems to be cuddling an owl-shaped Teddy Bear that Ohm recognizes as the birthday gift Vanoss gave to him a couple years back. Ohm notices that the picture was from a message thread between Cartoonz and Vanoss himself with a caption that said: He sleeps like this every night. Take this as you will.

              Ohm cracks up, shaking his head in disbelief. “That’s amazing but savage. They’re both going to have a heart attack. You’re unbelievable.”

              “But you love me.” Cartoonz says, lacing their fingers together.

              “Yes, I do. And you love me?”

              “Yes, I absolutely do.”

[skiachtro]

CHARACTER RESEARCH  →  BEFORE THE COLLAPSE  →  EVERYONE.

(  okay, i really wanted to release some of these because i’m excited. i don’t have all of them written, but i have most of their stories.  )

                                                                        001.  WILLOW :  

before the end of everything, willow was a semi-truck driver. she traveled the country, had some good guys in the field. she’d talk to them over the radio all night, always laughing. and, really,  she  always made  them  laugh. she’s hilarious when she opens up. humor is what got her into trouble, which is part of the reason she never smiles now  (  the other part being scarecrow  ). one night, she was driving ; roads clear, sky clear --  her  mind  was clear. she rested her forearms on the wheel, looked up and out at the stars, mesmerized. she always longed to be free, careless, able to see the clear starry night as opposed to the ceiling of a home or the lights in a city.  willow tree, you copy?  she chuckles, hand moving to grab her radio, ❝ i told you to stop callin’ me that, asshole. ❞  

and as did i tell you to stop callin’ me that.  another voice joined in:  are you hurtin’ his feelin’s again before midnight?  another laugh. ah, that was the good life. the boys, the wide open road, the fresh night air. ❝ someones gotta do it. ❞  well someone’s gotta be nice to me, too -- who’s gonna pitch in on that front??  they all laugh, willow’s face glowing with her cheeks a rosy pink ; she’s been smiling so much her face literally  hurts. their uproar calms down, and she takes the initiative to settle back into her chair, resting her head in her hand that’s held up by an elbow propped on her truck door. finally, he spoke up again, this time his voice is  softer.  but in all seriousness, guys.. you doin’ all right?  the same man who chimed in before chimes in again immediately with: oh, we’re doin’ fine, you fuckin’ mother hen.  again, that made everyone laugh. the first guy interjects,  all right, all right. you can’t blame me for checkin’ up on my crew. y’all know these hours are hectic.  ❝ yeah, they are, but this is what keeps me sane. ❞   aw, shit, she’s flirtin’ with you, dude.  ❝ oh, my god, c’mon -- ❞  winni and willow sittin’ in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g,  ❝ i swear to god, ellis. you’re literally the prime source of my anxiety. ❞  but still, she laughed. she was teasing back, the same kind of banter they’ve always had. i just like that he gave winnipeg such a juicy nickname. winni. sounds so scandalous.  ❝ that sounded like a flirt! ❞  you know what, willow, you’re right. winni and ellis sittin’ in a tree--  oh, let it begin. ellis chimes in with,  don’t you even start that shit, charlie. willow continued to listen, but her attention was beginning to drift elsewhere. the highway was literally  clear, but now there’s a light shining in her side mirror that is reflecting  perfectly  into her eyes. not great. ❝ jesus christ, doesn’t any asshole in this goddamn country know how to drive? ❞  someone givin’ you problems, willow?  ❝ more like givin’  themselves  problems. ❞  oh, shit, true. she’ll fuck your shit up.  ❝ oh, yes she fuckin’ will! ❞ she replies with a smile and some pep, but this minor situation is beginning to turn into something a little more serious. this guy won’t let off. he’s in a big pick-up, not really a match for a semi, still, but enough to cause trouble is played out carefully. ❝ goddamn.. ❞  pull over, willow, just let him pass. he’s probably some drunk idiot.  ❝ nah, i gotta get this shipment there on time. some frat boy isn’t gonna derail me. ❞  it ain’t safe, willow.  

-- and it  wasn’t.

willow? willow?!  their voices echo, calling out over and over and they  know  something’s wrong. in just a few moments of silence, her world was turned upside down. (  literally, as well.  )   it  was  some drunk idiot ; he decided to speed around her, then proceed to cut her off in a way that she had to make a quick maneuver. she wound up disconnecting from the back of the semi, cab flipping at least once, in a ditch. by the time fire and medics arrived, she was slowly beginning to regain some consciousness. it sounded like she was underwater, the muffled screams of the man who had run her off in the first place echoing in the background. he decided, stupidly, to pull over after what he had done and have the  audacity  to berate and yell at her for getting in his way. luckily, when the cops arrived, they saw this. the man was arrested. she heard him constantly pleading and begging to them that he saw a dead man walking. he saw a  corpse  walking. it would later turn out to be true in hindsight, but in the moment? fucking  ridiculous.  the first firefighters to come to the scene were captain  ████████ , and his crew. that’s how she met scarecrow, that’s how they began their journey together into the apocalypse.

+  willow had no one as a significant other during the time of the outbreak. she had a strong relationship with three guys from her work: charlie, ellis, and winnipeg. not much is known of her family yet, but it is known she lost at least one of the co-workers early on. 

+  willow enjoyed activities like sports (  baseball, basketball, soccer  ), painting, drawing, sewing cross-stitch, hunting, going to the gun range, playing darts.

                                                                        001.  SCARECROW :

work in progress.

                                                                        002.  ABE :

before it all, abe was a butcher in a local shop. originally, he was a navy seal, working for / with NCIS. when word of an extremist group was exposed to his team, they began their extensive search, digging into any information about the group they could find. somehow or another, months and months into it  (  perhaps it had even been a year at that point?  ), it all came back to hit him in the face. they had his wife, his child  --  he was immediately dismissed from the case --  banned  from investigating any farther or having anything to do with the investigation. he was assured they were going to find his family and return them safely. well, that just didn’t sit well with him. abe took it upon himself to disobey direct orders, find where they had taken his family, and kill the men who had his girls. his wife made their daughter not look. his ex-wife never thought he was a monster, even after witnessing this side of him, but a part of her still couldn’t help but  wonder. he was doing everything to protect her, protect their  daughter  -- there was no other option. one day, he prays, she will get to find that peace in knowing. in understanding.

afterwards, he was dishonorably discharged. his wife and daughter went into the witness protection program after their quickly rushed, finalized divorce. still love him? yes, always. but they both know what was and is safest for the overall well-being of their daughter. it’s safer for him to be separated, for them to not be associated. he doesn’t know their new location, nor does he know their new names. he knows nothing about them. and as much as he wants to, he doesn’t dare try to go looking for them. that would be selfish. this is meant to be  selfless.

+  abe had no significant other at the time of the outbreak. he also had no close family or friends. he was basically on his own. he hopes that some how, some way, his ex-wife and his daughter are okay, that they’re alive  -- that maybe one day he’ll run into them. maybe this world can set them free, let them be a family again.

+  before the end, abe enjoyed disciplined work-outs, boxing, dancing ( who woulda known?? not like.. pop or anything, just.. ballroom-like dancing. the man can salsa. ), occasional journalism.

                                                                        003.  LUKE :

luke was around the age of 19 / 20 when the outbreak begun. before it happened, he was taking a couple years to himself after finishing high school. he worked as a barista at a coffee shop in town, and was saving up to most likely go to college. he was interested in graphic design, video game making  -- something like that. he really wasn’t sure. one thing he was sure of was  ariel.  they had known each other since high school, always got along, but only began to grow serious  after  high school. towards the end of his eighteenth year of life, they began to become romantically involved. they were inseparable after. towards the end of the age of nineteen, they had finally admitted their love to each other. she was, without a doubt, the one he was going to marry and spend the rest of his life with. she had a kind heart, looked after his little brothers as though they were her own. they were her boys, and they happily obliged. 

luke grew up in a loving home. he was born in the philippines, his mother and father moving to the united states when he was very young due to his growing hearing problem. there was a hospital in california who would take him, help him. cochlear implants helped him fro most of his childhood, but once he grew to be six or so, his troubles with hearing became more frequent, even with the device. due to complications, he had to have the device removed around the age of ten. by the age of thirteen, his hearing was completely gone. up until then, he had mostly talked, thought he  did  know sign language. once his hearing was totally lost, he began speaking solely through sign language, though he would sometimes speak to those he’s close to in private. 

+  luke had a girlfriend before the world died. it was a very serious relationship, the only he’s ever had, and he was definitely smitten by her  (  as was she by him  ).  towards the end, he was fairly certain that he was preparing himself to propose to her. and he would have, had their final days not come. as far as family, the only ones who didn’t fall ill were himself, his girlfriend ( initially ), his fifteen year old brother, and his eight year old brother. they took care of each other well. lukas was ( is )  deaf, but his youngest brother had something that had not been diagnosed ; it was a mental illness of some kind. anxiety, depression, other various attributes. 

+  luke enjoyed playing video games, reading comics, action movies??? heck yeah, long-boarding, and he can also play a bit of the guitar.

                                                                        004.  MARIE :

work in progress.

                                                                        005.  ROSE : 

work in progress.

                                                                       006.  ARIEL :

work in progress.

                                                                       007.  MADDIE AND MAX :

work in progress.

                                                                       008.  MAX :

work in progress.

                                                                       009.  NADINE :

work in progress.

[spacebeyonce]

good morning. I’m rested enough and I’ve had my coffee so now I can finally get into this.

so last night I saw tlj and it was, as previously stated, pretty underwhelming. but I’m gonna dive in and poke at shit that stuck out to me.

alright! quick and dirty let’s do it!

the good:

uhhhh fin looked beautiful as usual. and he was still so brave and ready to help the resistance out (albeit unwillingly but we’ll get into that) even though he just wanted to find rey and make sure she was okay.

finn and rose trashing the casino. it was very hard to warm up to rose, but her story about her and her sister’s childhood got to me. all that glitter and opulence and waste. the rich were like beautiful shiny parasites, and you had to look really hard past the shimmer to see all the life they were sucking out of everything. so them trashing the casino, just like rose wanted to, was a little satisfying.

I guess this is good if I thought it was hilarious but kylo killing snoke by using snoke’s shitty mind powers against him. seeing that kylo was going to use a saber and thinking it was going to be on rey when it was on him all along. that honestly took me the fuck out so I guess it’s good.

the finn vs phasma fight!!! it was beautiful and I was so glad to see finn take out one of the people who hurt him. let finn destroy all his abusers 2k17.

that finnrey reunion hug was pretty goddamn solid and wholesome and I smiled a lot when it happened. reunited and it feels fucking awesome.

and uhhhh that’s it. I had to work very hard to put at least more than two things that I liked.

so onto the bad:

lmao what wasn’t bad about this movie. but I’ll just do a few.

making rey focus on trying to redeem kylo was a fucking mess and kinda felt like character assassination. rey would’ve stayed focused on trying to kick that shitheel into a goddamn ravine, not redeeming him. I was so tired of hearing her say over and over that there was still some good in kylo, that he could still be turned. the first time she called him ben gave me an ulcer.

and since we’re on rey and kylo and their bullshit, what the fuck was that force connection shit going on. the first time it happened I felt a headache show up behind my eye and it didn’t leave. every time they connected and spoke through the force it got worse. it was honestly rather boring to endure and I definitely could’ve done without it.

finn getting sidelined was what I expected but still so fucking annoying. he barely had any part in this movie, which was jarring after going through tfa, where he played a pretty big part in everything in the movie. in here, he was just comedic relief, barely speaking anything but witty one liners with no character development to be found.

the fact that the little side mission that poe, rose, and finn had going on completely failed, and caused more harm than good. which uhhh super burned my ass but I’m gonna get into that a little more in a bit. but everything they did, trying to find a code breaker, breaking onto the FO starship, all of it failed, and so many people died because of it. it was frustrating because they were trying hard to help the resistance escape but in the end nothing really came of it.

that finnrose kiss was so dry. they barely had any good chemistry, and should just stick to being friends. they’d be better friends than lovers, and it was very hard to warm up to rose after how they introduced her to finn.

snoke as a whole was a rather underwhelming villain, which kinda sucked since they gassed him up so much in tfa. to have him be this weird lookin’ ass wrinkle in a chair that got cut in half with a quickness so we could make way for supreme leader kylo ren was uh. boring.

again, having to look at adam driver’s weirdly shaped torso was really very unfortunate. he’s a fucking weirdly shaped dude. I got nothing out of seeing his bare chest. my pussy has never been so dry. he’s a very unattractive man. please stop making me look at him. why couldn’t I see john boyega’s bare chest instead.

I could go on with the bad! but I won’t. instead let’s get into the ugly:

and GODDAMN was it ugly. major ugly points!

WOW how many times did the characters of color get hurt or degraded??? ESPECIALLY finn and poe, jesus christ.

introducing rose by having her taze finn so hard he slams into an opposite wall did not make me like her! people in my theater laughed while I flinched so hard my seat rocked a little. brutalizing the black man isn’t funny!! but every time finn got hurt people fucking laughed!!! when rose tazed him, when hux fucking slapped him, people laughed. good to know that black people in pain is hilarious to y’all! imma remember that y’all think humiliating and degrading black characters is so funny! thanks!

and speaking of finn, I’ve briefly spoken on this already, but rose saying he was a deserter and a traitor pissed me off. just ‘cause y’all think he’s a resistance hero doesn’t mean he’s signed on to be a part of the resistance. wanting to find rey and be safe doesn’t make finn a traitor.

for a moment, in tfa, finn’s interests aligned with the resistance’s, and so he helped out. he hasn’t agreed to be a part of the rebellion, a part of the war. and while finn and phasma’s fight was bitchin’, to have finn suddenly stand tall and declare he’s ‘rebel scum’, even though at the beginning of the movie he was ready to leave to try and find rey, was jarring. like they couldn’t have shown finn having thoughts about being part of the resistance or anything??? they couldn’t show finn making this choice on his own instead of being tazed or grabbed by the collar and dragged into it???

poe. jesus christ poe what did they do to you. making poe into this - this fuckin hot head who doesn’t listen to his higher ups in a shot for glory and heroism was horrific. that wasn’t who he was in tfa. poe’s not in the rebellion to get glory, he’s here to - to try and save people. to get the first order’s foot off of people’s necks so everyone can just breathe freely. to have him disrespect leia and holdo, undermining their authority at every turn was so disrespectful to watch. poe’s not some sexist firecracker but that’s what tlj made him into and it honestly hurt to look at.

watching him get stunned across the room into another wall by leia was also so ugly to look at, and made me flinch super hard once again while people in the theater laughed. so.

and SPEAKING OF CHARACTER ASSASSINATION, LET’S GET INTO THE BIGGEST ONE - LUKE FUCKING SKYWALKER. I’ve never been so bitter.

making luke out to be someone who’d murder one of his own students - his blood - at the first sign of darkness or conflict was. wow. and it was especially ugly because it took the burden of kylo’s shitty choices away from him, and placed it onto luke’s shoulders. it was luke’s fault that kylo turned to the dark, it wasn’t his choice, luke pushed him, and kylo was just a scared little boy.

which is fucked. because in the previous movie, tfa was all about choices. finn and kylo were such huge narrative foils because at the heart of them it was about choices. finn, who was raised in the heart of the dark, stolen from his family and forced to be a soldier for a cause he didn’t really believe in, made the choice to not kill for the FO, to not want anything to do with them. kylo, raised in light, trained to be a jedi and keep the skywalker legacy going, chose, as a man, not some boy, to kill his peers and join the dark side. he chose to force himself into that mold to be the next vader.

and to say that he really didn’t?? and that the reason he went dark is because of luke?? it pissed me off. it’s still pissing me off!!! it was horrible!!! it took all the choice, all the blame away from kylo, and put it all on luke. and that’s pretty ugly.

luke dying was also fucking stank and I don’t give a shit how full of peace luke was. it was stupid. it was so ridiculous. I can’t properly describe how outraged I was, and still am, at luke just.....disappearing. just going away. I wanted luke to be a part of the resistance more, to meet the rest of the new trilogy people, and now I won’t ever get that and it’s frustrating. it was a weak bitch move. there was a lot more luke could’ve done. so this was just uhhhh. shit.

I’m sure there’s more I’m missing! but that’s what stuck out to me the most. so yeah! tlj kinda sucked. it sucked pretty bad actually. underwhelming at worst, forgettable at best. a solid 3/10. and that’s being generous.