#lucky con goers

[elliehopaunt]

Look at these cuties...

[centrally-unplanned]

We (somewhat rightly) mock the 2000's era fansub translation notes for their otaku fixations and privileging of trivia over the media, but they should be understood as serving their purpose for a bit of a different era in the anime fandom. Take this classic:

Like, its so obvious, right? Just say "pervert", you don't need the note! Which is true, for like a 'normie' audience member who just wants to watch A TV Show - but no one watching, uh *quick google* "Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne" in 1999 is that person. The audience is weebs, and for them the fact that show is Japanese is a huge selling point. They want it to feel as 'anime' as possible; and in the west language was one of the core signifiers of anime-ness. 2004 con-goers calling their friends "-kun" and throwing in "nani?" into conversations was the way this was done, and alongside that a lexicon of western anime fandom terminology was born. Seeing "ecchi" on the screen is, to this person, a better viewing experience - it enhances their connection to otaku identity the show is providing, and reinforces their shared cultural lexicon (Ecchi is now a term one 'expects' anime fans to know - a truth that translator notes like this simultaneously created and reflected).

But of course your audiences have different levels of otaku-dom, and so you can't just say 'ecchi' and call it a day - so for those who are only Level 2 on their anime journey, you give them a translation note. Most of the translation notes of the era are like this - terms the fansubber thought the audience might know well enough that they would understand it and want that pure Japanese cultural experience, but that not all of them would know, so you have to hedge. The Lucky Star one I posted is a great example of that:

Its Lucky Star, the otaku-crown of anime! You desperately want the core text to preserve as much anime vocab as possible, to give off that feeling, but you can't assume everyone knows what a GALGE is - doing both is the only way to solve that dilemma.

This is often a good guideline when looking at old memetically bad fansubs by the way:

This isn't real, no fansub had this - it was a meme that was posted on a wiki forum in 2007. Which makes sense, right? "Plan" isn't a Japanese cultural or otaku term, so there is no reason not to translate it, it doesn't deepen the ~otaku connection~.

Which, I know, I'm explaining the joke right now, but over time I think many have grown to believe that this (and others like it) is a real fansub, and that these sort of arbitrary untranslations just peppered fansub works of the time? It happened, sure, but they would be equally mocked back then as missteps - or were jokes themselves. Some groups even had a reputation for inserting jokes into their works, imo Commie Subs was most notable for this; part of the competitive & casual environment of the time. But they weren't serious, they are not examples of "bad fansubs" in the same way.

This all faded for a bunch of reasons - primarily that the market for anime expanded dramatically. First, that lead to professionally released translations by centralized agencies that had universal standards for their subs and accountability to the original creators of the show. Second, the far larger audience is far less invested in anime-as-identity; they like it, but its not special the way its special when you are a bullied internet recluse in 2004. They just want to watch the show, and would find "caring" about translation nuances to be cringe. And since these centralized agencies release their product infinitely faster and more accessibly than fansubs ever did, their copies now dominate the space (including being the versions ripped to all illegal streaming sites), so fansubs died.

Though not totally - a lot of those fansub groups are still around! Commie Subs is still kicking for example. They either do the weird nuance stuff, or fansub unreleased-in-the-west old or niche anime, or even have pivoted to non-anime Japanese content that never gets international release. But they used to be the taste-makers of the community; now they are the fringe devotees in a culture that has moved beyond them. So fansubs remain something of a joke of the 90's and 2000's in the eyes of the anime culture of today, in a way that maybe they don't deserve.

[morganitering]

Survive the Night (Mahito x fem!reader)

Warnings: Non-con/Rape, Graphic Depictions of violence

Contains: Smut, PWP, PIV - penis in vagina sex, degradation, psychological/emotional manipulation, face-fucking, threats of violence, fuck or die, sexist language, reader is into it lowkey

Word count: 5,1k

Summary: You had readied yourself for a party with your best friend, only to find Shibuya in a disarray, and yourself caught up in a war that wasn’t yours. Somehow escaping the monsters, you end up running into the lap of another kind of predator - an intelligent one.

A/N: Hey hey, this is my first fic and first smut! And ofc, I started with the most degenerate bs I could do. I don't even simp Mahito, but my bestie is down bad and what type of friend I'd be if I didn't help them out. English isn't my first language and no beta. Be aware of the warnings, they are there for a reason. Otherwise enjoy and feel free to like and comment <3!

Read on ao3

It was utter madness. There were screams so chilling that your heart started to ache in an empathetic rhythm, but this was no time to be kind and understanding. It was time to survive and survive you wanted, but your legs refused to move.

You saw people running around like headless chickens, crossing the roads, bumping into each other, as creatures of various sizes and colors roamed the heart of Shibuya, hands and mouths gaping open, reaching to anyone they could. You stood still despite the sheer fear in you.

You looked at your friend, cold sweat forming on your brow as you assessed the situation. Her golden wig falling on the ground in the force of a purple hand grabbing her. She cried out to you. Her Sailor Moon wand replica fell to the asphalt with her other belongings. You had a good bit of distance between the two of you since you tried to run over the crossing road in a hurry towards KFC.

The purple hand squeezed remorselessly. You could see it in her face, the sound of little crackling of her rib cage turning to bits and pieces inside her body, puncturing every vital organ one by one.The hand kept on squeezing, probably not even using force. The creature dropped your friend’s body next to her items. She was disfigured and limp like a soggy rag doll. You had seen death once after losing your grandparents, but this was no peaceful death due to old age, this was a god forsaken massacre.

It was supposed to be a fun night out. You hadn’t dressed up in anything special, but you wanted to support your friend so you had gone to her place, a few hours prior ending up going outside, hoping for the warm buzz of alcohol in your veins and maybe, if you were lucky, a lover you could regret in the morning.

But in all honesty, this was a script from a horror movie. You had always joked with your friend how you both would be the first ones to die in one, but neither of you had been serious about it.

“Fucking move!” You heard a man yelling, snapping you out of your trance. The purple creature’s multiple eyes were all looking in different directions in search of another victim.

You did what the stranger told you to.

Your body pumped out adrenaline forcing your limbs to finally move with strength you did not recognize in yourself. You started running as fast as your legs could take you, neon lights of advertisements flashed on your face as blood of other party goers covered you as they were snapped open, ripped in half, guts and viscera leaking on the ground. Puddles of blood splashed on your calves when the soles of your boots hit the ground. You were just livestock running away from the butcher in a small room, knowing full well that there was no escape.

Metallic taste popped in your mouth as you evaded monsters and people alike. Some folks were brave enough to fight against the creatures of the night. You were not one of them.

You took a turn on the left. An alley behind some type of shady restaurant. You noted that somehow the screams had quieted down. Your breath came out at an uneven pace as your lungs fought for their life to give enough oxygen to your struggling body.

You leaned on the brick wall, heart beating in every part of your body utter exhaustion knocking on the door. Instead of collapsing you just trembled. This is not real. This is not real. This is not- a sob interrupted your frantic mind.

Searching for the source of the sound your eyes adjusted to the dimly lit alleyway locating a hunched over figure. A man? He cried heavily, rocking himself back and forth on the dirty ground as his hands fisted the black fabric of his trousers. He was sitting next to a dumpster that was filled to the brim with plastic bags almost not being able to contain the multitude of waste. In hindsight you probably should’ve left the man on his own to tend to the trash.

You assumed him to be a victim of the attack too. Or maybe he was just drunk, you told yourself with suspicion in your mind.

“Sir? Are you ok?” You asked as you got closer to the sobbing man. It seemed like he didn’t even notice you, he just kept shaking and muttering to himself in between sobs. You were fairly sure that he knew you were there and since there was no answer you decided to attempt consoling him.

You dropped down on his level and stroked his arm gently. You weren’t the best at this type of stuff, but you felt pity towards the blue haired stranger wallowing in his thoughts. Suddenly you felt his arms stretching around you holding onto you like a child embracing their favorite toy during duress.

Panic seeped into you. You didn’t know this man at all, but you figured that he needed this and honestly maybe you did need it too. Awkwardly you placed your hand on his head, your blouse getting wet from the stranger’s snot and tears. His hair was luscious and soft, in a different situation you might have even been jealous.

“It’s going to be.. okay?” That was honestly the best you could do in your state of shock. There was a weird sort of kinship in his breakdown. Had you not been still full of fight or flight reaction you would probably be in the same situation as he was. Instead you felt calm as a day almost clear headed.

Bit by bit he collected his demeanor. His shoulders still shook, but it no longer felt like he was a spare leaf in a summer storm.

“I know a place,” he said, head still against your chest. You heard him but you were confused by his words.

“What?”

He raised his head now looking at you with his mismatched eyes. His face was full of stitch patterns as if he had been broken down and put together multiple times. You soon noticed him having that on his arms as well.

“Sorry, I meant that I know a place. I don’t think we are safe on the streets yet,” he said sniffling pathetically.

“You’re probably right. Where is it?” You asked.

Patch faced man stood up and offered his hand towards you which you gladly took and pushed yourself off from the asphalt. Having been in this place longer now, you really did not want to spend the last moments of your life next to the smell of biowaste and piss.

You walked behind the man who took determined steps towards the main street that was completely empty.

“Sorry I probably gave you a big scare,” he brushed his hands through his hair, swaying a few sections of almost ponytailed hair to the other side of his shoulder.

You wanted to say that there was no bigger scare, than the stuff that went down in the heart of Shibuya. A crying weird dude was a welcome change to the horrors, but you stayed quiet.

“My name is Mahito. Thank you for being there for me,” he smiled gently at you. You tried to return his smile as you told him your name.

“I like your name,” his tone was easy going and friendly.

“Here,” he pointed at an empty restaurant a few blocks further away from the alley.

The restaurant was still lit up, but completely empty. Its decor was homely and somehow very industrial. The lighting was warm and yellow with few pink-ish tints on the brick wall with a statement piece made out of pipes and lightbulbs. Overall it looked like a hipster’s favorite lunch place.

Some of the tables had half drunk beverages and meals. There were some spots where tableware had dropped on the floor and pieces of porcelain lay on the ground with napkins soaking into cream sauce.

Mahito found you both a clean booth and sat you down there as he sauntered over to the restaurant bar. You looked at him in confusion as he grabbed two clean glasses pouring soda from the soft drink dispenser.

“No harm in drinking something sweet after all this, right?” He said trying to smile again, yet it did not really reach his eyes. He seemed awfully cheery for a person that you had found crying just moments ago. It was as if he was wearing a mask. Maybe it’s a shock reaction, you intellectualized his behavior to yourself.

Mahito placed the drink in front of you as he sat next to you on the booth. You were squished between him and the restaurant window with nowhere to go. You hadn’t really noticed how big he was until now. You took a sip from the sweet drink looking at the bubbles that were forming on top of the dark liquid.

“So what happened to you?” You asked him, curiosity taking the best of you.

“I-,” he started confidently but quickly stopped. Mahito looked down at his hands that were placed on the cold table. You saw sadness on him.

“I watched how my friends died," he said quietly. “It was horrible. We were supposed to go to our favorite club. They were supposed to have some type of costume competition,” he explained.

“What are you supposed to be? It looks neat though, really real.” Maybe you tried to lighten the mood or maybe you were just really socially inept.

“Thanks, but uh, I’m not really supposed to be anything. I just learnt to play around with some sfx makeup. My big sis taught me,” he reminisced.

“I hope she’s not here too.”

You both fell silent, whether it was awkward or kind of nice you couldn’t decide. You had not even thought about your other friends that might have been stuck in the area as well. If there were any gods left you would make sure to pray to them every day were you to survive this hell of a night.

“I saw my friend dying too, by those monsters,” you said, sharing your own story.

“Really? What was it like?” His face seemed to light up in awe and as he did that you raised your eyebrow in slight annoyance.

“Sorry, that came out wrong. I just. I don’t know. It all happened so fast,” he quieted down again, seeming regretful of his words.

“Disgusting,” you said, not addressing his apology.

Mahito’s eyes were now on you staring at you like a hawk. You didn’t really notice that as your eyes seemed almost glassy looking at nowhere in particular.

“She had spilt her guts onto the street,” you choked out the words as the picture of your friends dead body stayed on your mind like a thistle.

“Was there a lot of blood?” You felt the warm breath on your cheek, but you were so deep in your mind that only displayed the picture of the hand closing on your friend. You saw her eyes again, her mouth open in a shrilling scream that almost got drowned in the other voices, but to you it was almost amplified, it was the only scream that really mattered. You saw the blood that she coughed up as her own body got crushed and what was meant to protect her and hold her upright punctured her to death.

“Yes.” It was just a whisper of a voice. A tear fell down on your lap and your lips were slightly parted, your body shuddering at the horrible memories. Mahito’s face was now nuzzled in your neck and his eyes were half lidded with a slight smile decorating his face.

“You poor thing,” he cooed. “I’m sorry”, something about his words did not feel sincere at all. The blue haired man’s body started shaking and you heard the most absurd sound that returned you to this moment. You knew you had not said anything funny, so why was he laughing?

Mahito was almost doubled over as he roared next to you. He started clapping his hands like this was the best thing he had heard in the century. He opened his eyes that were now watering from all the laughing and placed his hand on your shoulder.

“You humans are truly pathetic!” He kept on giggling. You pushed his hand off from your shoulder, your mind still in disarray trying to grasp the things he was saying. His words hurt you and it felt unbelievable that this is the way he would react since he had lost someone too or was his sob story a lie? Part of you wanted to curse at him, but some part of you, supposedly the sane one, told you to tuck your head down.

“Oh noo, my little friend had spilt her guts onto the street. Oh woe me! I saaw someone diiiee.” Mahito drew out every syllable as he was mocking you and your tone, making exaggerated sad expressions and he brought his fists to his cheeks to make a boo-hoo movement.

“You idiots die all the time.” Mahito’s face turned serious as he sneered at you. His mismatched gaze steeled on you as he stared you down saying nothing for the time being.

Every alarm was blaring in your mind. Time felt like it was stopping just like it did during the attack. Mahito no longer looked like the almost boyish lost figure that you had found having a panic attack. Now he reminded you of a crazed beast toying with its food and you weren’t about to stay to find out how far his unhinged behavior could go. You had to take your chance of leaving.

You pushed the table with all your might as you took hurried steps out of the booth quickly giving thanks to whoever had decided to not to nail the furniture on the ground permanently. Glasses of soft drink toppled over and rolled to the floor and shattered into hundred little pieces as you hopped clumsily over the crazy man’s body.

“Nuh-uh-uh,” Mahito grabbed your wrist, his nails tugging into your flesh painfully. He had now stood up and was towering over you with an unreadable face.

A faint smile appeared on his face and he looked almost gentle again.

“I’m not going to kill you,” his voice was smooth like one of the finest silk.

“Look- I’m sorry for you and whatever happened to you, but this clearly was a mistake. I hope you have a goo-”

“Shut up.”

Mahito inhaled as if he was smelling the most appetizing meal, relishing in the lack of your voice.

“Much better.”

He was still holding onto you as he raised his free hand on your face to caress your cheek in an attempt to calm you down. Guess it was his turn to be in this role, although at least you had been sincere about it.

“I’m not going to kill you,” Mahito repeated, his eyes trailing down to your lips.

“I do have something else in mind,” he said, taking his gaze back to your eyes.

You gulped audibly and managed to squeak out a question of what he had in mind then. You knew already. Of course you did.

“This theme of death and destruction. It reeaally has got me worked up,” Mahito monologues on.

“I might be a curse, but I’m not beyond needs. I am interested in the human soul and its weaknesses as well as its wickedness,” he kept talking as his thumb started to trail down slowly towards your jawline “but I’m also interested in this”, his hand stopped at your throat.

His touch was feather light and had it not been this psychopath of a man touching you you’d gladly welcome it. Mahito’s words didn’t make a lot of sense to you, but you got the gist of it with threats and all.

“You can choose to fight me.”

He now had his whole palm on your oesophagus, his mismatched eyes shining dangerously.

“But you will lose.”

Mahito squeezed gently as a warning and let go of the wrist he was holding. He grabbed you by your scalp, bunching up some of your hair to tilt your head upwards.

“Do this with me and I’ll let you live. Maybe you even have a good time as well, or maybe I don’t care for your comfort at all and I’ll ditch you to the streets half dead with your panties tangled up in your ankles for the whole world to see your shame,” he blabbered on and stopped. He looked like he was thinking about something really important, pursing his lips together, tipping his head side to side like a cartoon character.

“I haven’t really decided yet,” his voice was sinister.

Your body had gone cold. Do this and he’ll let me live, you thought to yourself fighting the urge to flee. You didn’t want to anger him further, not that there was any winning chance with this man at all. Everything had gone the way he wanted from the moment you had laid your eyes on him.

“Okay, I want to live,” you rasped out.

Mahito looked content, almost affectionate. ”They always do.”

After those words the world turned into a haze. His lips were soft and plump. He was a demanding kisser, not that you even had imagined him to be a kisser in the first place. You thought that you would be simply bent over, but Mahito proved you wrong. Not because he cared, but because he simply did what he wanted to and this was what he desired.

He might have promised you pleasure, if you agreed to do this somewhat willingly but his soul was tainted, and you knew that were you to find enjoyment under him, it would be just a happy surprise to you.

His tongue delved into your mouth. It felt gross. Invading. His hands had moved to your waist going all the way down to your ass squeezing too hard to your liking. He swiftly lifted you up and placed you on the now dirty table where you had been hanging out just moments prior. His boots made crackling sounds as he stepped on the pieces of glass.

You felt sticky as the cola seeped onto your skirt’s fabric but Mahito did not seem to care. He pulled your hair, exposed your neck and bit as his other hand groped your breasts with force bordering on pure pain. Tears were forming in your eyes as your body and mind fought each other.

“You know you should feel special,” his breath felt hot against your neck. “Not everyone is able to see me, let alone touch me”

“Yet here you are.” He pressed his tongue on your cheek and licked away the one spare tear.

He ripped open your blouse cold breeze kissing your torso, before Mahito’s hands were on it. He grabbed your bra, stretching out the fabric with both of his hands until it snapped. He threw the remnants of your underwear on the ground placing his palms on your bare chest. He played and kneaded the tender flesh, arousal waking up in your core.

Mahito pulled you closer to him, your skirt hiking up till your hips with the fabric pressing on your skin, leaving you feeling uncomfortable. You felt him against your clothed sex, only his trousers, your stockings and panties between the two of you. Your breath hitched and his eyes darkened even more.

“I like this look on you humans, when you feel conflicted as to what to feel,” he teased you with shadows dancing on his face as the overhead light got covered by his head.

“He’s a bad man, he’s a crazy man, but why oh why do I like it?” His voice got higher as he imitated a feminine voice, playing up the caricature of a woman.

He pressed his hand between your legs, swiping slowly up feeling the moisture that had gathered there.

“Case in point,” he grinned satisfied. His fingers stopped at the sensitive bud and he started making slow circles looking intently at your face savoring every micro expression as you involuntarily bucked your hips up.

Your cheeks were burning up as small moans escaped your lips. You fought with yourself, tears threatening to spill over as your body moved on its own. What would your friend think if she saw you like this? She had suffered the most tragic death and this man had mocked you in the middle of a crisis and now you were enjoying his attention.

It was as if Mahito knew what buttons to press to get you going. You closed your eyes as you panicked under his touch. He applied more pressure on you as you helplessly grabbed the side of the table. Mahito’s grin widened the stitches on his face stretching out.

“Any self respecting woman would have run by now, even if it meant that they’d get killed in the process, yet you chose to spread your legs wide open to me,” he mused as he continued playing with you.

“You really must want me!” He let out a cold chuckle. Everything he said and did felt like an amateur theater student’s performance. He loved excess, big movements, big emotions - he was like a chaos incarnate. Insane, you thought to yourself, that’s what he was.

His fingers traveled on your panties over to the spot where he reckoned your entrance was and pressed lightly inside leaving a wet mark on the fabric.

He snaked his hands under your stockings waistband and started pulling them down with your panties. The only clothes you had on yourself were the buttonless blouse and a miniskirt that hid nothing. Mahito opened his trouser’s zipper and pulled himself out, giving a few languid pumps to his length.

“What do you say, you show me how much you want me and we’ll see how wet you can get when you service me?” He proposed already dragging you off the table and pushing you towards his cock.

You lost your balance and both your knees and an arm pressed on the glass shards on the stone floor as you tried to not to fall on your face. You winced from pain and you saw blood trickling down as Mahito laughed at your discomfort. Thankfully the pieces were not very big and they’d only leave a surface level wound but it still didn’t lessen the pain.

“Say aah!” Mahito grabbed your chin pushing his cock on your lips, smearing himself over your face.

You took him in your mouth hesitantly, a slightly salty tasty spread on your tongue. Unlike you, he did not hesitate and quickly snapped his hips forward setting up a brutal pace. You tried to be careful of your teeth as Mahito’s hands found themselves in your scalp.

It was hard to breathe, drops of saliva dripping on your chin and bare chest. All you could do was gurgling pathetically at his assault.

Mahito’s grip on your hair tightened as he hummed and moaned happily, an expression of pleasure on his wicked features. His voice got loud, unashamed of the way he was sloppily face fucking you. His sounds did something sinful to you, sending sparks straight to your core. It was a losing war you were fighting and Mahito reveled in it. You moved your own hand into your folds in a desperate attempt to relieve the burn in you earning genuine laughter from the man.

“Now we are talking, you’re getting into this aren’t you?”

Mahito pushed you towards his pelvis forcing himself down your throat, your nose pressing onto his skin. You were choking and your body involuntarily thrashed around him, but he kept you firmly in place.

“Relax, keep it there,” his voice was out of breath as you spasmed around him helplessly. You tried to bear it, but every passing second proved your task harder. You squeezed your eyes shut feeling the trails of mascara in various stages of drying on your cheeks.

Mahito pulled himself out with a loud groan. You were gasping for air as violent coughs shook your frame, his cock still standing in front of you in all its glory.

“You’ve got a splendid mouth, but right now I’m craving your cunt.”

There were no breaks for you as he manhandled you up and pushed your torso against the table. Your tits pressed against the cold wood, your hips pressing on the sides of the table. You felt messy, degraded even, as your slightly wet face came in contact with the surface.

Mahito started pushing in you carefully and you gasped, when you felt him widening you forcing you to make space for him.

“W-what about protection?” You talked for the first time.

“Not on the pill, eh? Well don’t worry your pretty head about it, it wouldn’t work anyways,” he said and sheathed himself fully in you.

Then it began. Skin against skin, noises of pleasure filled the empty restaurant leaving only your ever increasing cries reverberating in the establishment. His hips kept snapping onto yours, chest heaving as he panted and moaned. You loved the sounds that you both made your cunt tightening around him when an especially beautiful whine left his mouth.

You cried out loud when he found that one spot inside of you after one particularly powerful thrust. Your brows furrowed, hands seeking a place to hold onto as you quietly said his name. You hoped that he wouldn’t notice, but of course he did. Riled up from your reactions he made sure to angle himself so that he’d get to see your further succumb to the decadence of his actions.

His hands trailed towards your neck admiring how your hair was sprawled out messily, some strands sticking to your swollen lips. He massaged your back finally digging his nails into it and scratched it for fun.

“Isn’t that- ah- something”, you tried talking, “I’m supposed to do?” You were referencing his peculiar actions.

“Already thinking of the next position? We’ll see about that,” he jested but his words lacked bite as he pleasured himself using you.

Your back was burning as he kept swiping across leaving pink streaks on your skin. He grabbed your throat and squeezed gently, not trying to restrict the flow of your breath. He had had enough of that for now. It was merely a gesture to show who had the real power here.

You were getting close feeling the familiar coil about to snap. His movements got rougher and more sporadic. He drove into you like a beast, going deep into you at times hitting your cervix. You babbled incoherently, no longer caring for how you appeared, the only thing occupying your mind was the need to sprint to the finish line.

Your thighs trembled as you were on your tiptoes. The table inched forwards every time Mahito drove his cock in you. He was nearing his own end. He placed his fingers on your clit rubbing it haphazardly, partially disregarding how sensitive it was, hoping that this would drive you off the edge.

You didn’t know where pleasure and pain started or ended. They melt together creating one hell of an addicting concoction and you wanted more. Gods, how you did want more, your juices dripping on your thighs. You felt lightheaded and suddenly the sparks turned into a flame that engulfed you, spreading to even the most distant parts of your body.

Mahito fucked you through your orgasm and somewhere in your haze you felt him still when his cock pulsated in you as your body involuntarily returned the favor. Some part of your brain that was still present wanted to push him off, tell him to mark you somewhere else, anywhere else but there.

The blue haired man collected his breathing as relaxation coursed in his body. He pulled himself out of you looking curiously at the spot where you were just connected, delighted when he saw him trickling down your cunt. “Beautiful,” he muttered to himself as he looked at the wreck of a woman in front of him. The woman stayed put, probably too tired to move.

The restaurant door opened and heavy footsteps thumped on the floor.

“Is this really the best usage of your time?” He was disapproving.

Ah Choso, ever the killjoy. Mahito turned around not caring that the man who just came in would see all of him.

“God, put that thing away,”Choso said exasperatedly.

“We’ve been looking for you. Geto’s getting antsy when he doesn’t know our whereabouts,” Choso explained, taking a quick peek at the woman laying against the table not looking one bit more aware of her situation.

You were vaguely conscious, body and mind bruised from the event that just took place. Hands still ghosted over your skin even though you knew that Mahito was not paying attention to you at all. You felt exhausted, so exhausted that you felt yourself slipping to your mind looking for somewhere safe. It was like a dark veil was put on you, your vision blurred looking at the two outlines of men. Who was the other one again?

“Aw, that’s a bummer. I wanted to have more fun,” Mahito said, pouting.

“I think you’ve had enough of that already. Let’s go,” Choso turned his back to the idiot of a curse.

“Goodbye sweetie, try to get into a better position. You’ll break your neck like that,” Mahito addressed you jokingly as the wooden door shut behind them.

Breathing heavily you watched the two men walk outside from the huge windows. Mahito was practically skipping forwards while the dark haired man put his hands in his pockets and shook his head. Muffled laughter reached your ears and you were sure you’d recognize that sound for the rest of your life.

You maneuvered yourself up, body wobbling as if you were training to walk on a tightrope. You stretched out your arms rolling your shoulders to relieve the tension gathered in your tired muscles. You pulled your skirt down and tugged at the remnants of your blouse against your chest in a desperate attempt to cover yourself up.

You looked around the restaurant spotting a low table with couches as the seats. They were too small for an adult to lie down on, but that would do. You fluffed up the pillow and curled up into a ball skin feeling sticky due to all kinds of substances, but that was the least of your problems.

You wondered miserably, did this count as survival. If it did, the gods that let you still draw your breath had a shit sense of humor.

[c6scaramouche]

I don't know if any of y'all are big into convention stuff, but the past couple of years have seen an influx of people giving away badge ribbons to other con goers.

[clairehadenough]

Lots of sun and sea and lovey-dovey times 👀 So your girl is back relaxed and refreshed and with a beautiful tan😎/

What a waste of a week doing nothing productive but you claim it’s the PR blogs who have no jobs lol

So are we supposed to cancel vacation because it’s a waste of time and not productive?😂

Also, let’s compare your week vs mine shall we?

YOUR WEEK:

Worrying since Monday morning about the CC happening at the end of the week (is he gonna wear his ring? 😦 Is he gonna mention her?😰)

Sending yourselves anon lying about being Con goers because you were proven wrong again. Unfortunately for you, ACTUAL Con goers posted photos and videos exposing your lies. Remember the “empty auditorium”?😂

Creating shitty articles about Chris and seriously thinking you’re fooling anyone with your Elijah bullshit. Honey, we know it’s you, it’s very embarrassing at this point, please stop😂

Belittling fellow PR blogs and making fun of their apologies even though you all do the same thing on a daily basis

MY WEEK:

Spending it with my man who’s well educated, kind, funny and hot 🔥 (oh, and real lmao)

Sipping on cocktails, eating yummy food, swimming, tanning, sleeping as much as I want, and girl, how do I put it in lady like manner…well let’s say ’getting lucky’ six ways to Sunday…😎

Feeling blessed to be healthy and financially able (even though my job isn’t a “6 figure” one like some 🤡 ) to travel and enjoy what life has to offer.

Enjoying my fave’s appearance at the CC, feeling happy for those who met him and proud of him for not giving haters like yourself any crumbs of his personal life so you don’t get the satisfaction of ruining it

So if I had to choose, I’ll choose my week over yours over and over again you jealous bitter peach 😂

[laf-outloud]

https://www.tumblr.com/laf-outloud/714821330982305792/i-just-want-to-thank-the-anon-who-pointed-out-how

I’ll admit Jensen's comment about The Whale didn’t bother me that much when I first heard it, but, yeah, it really does send a negative message. A good number of SPN con goers are bigger, and should they be wondering if Jensen is judging them, or if he thinks it’s fine fir others to be overweight, just not him. Though I do understand not wanting to put one’s body through weight fluctuations, but the joke was more the issue.

Anyway, what really jumped out at me and put me off on my viewing of the panel was the tattoo story. It starts at about 32:00 (if you are inclined to listen - https://youtu.be/jcQcgjl3tJ8 ). There is nothing I hate as much as entitlement, and the tattoo story reeks of it. And that was mostly JDM, Jensen seemed along for the ride, learning from JDM's "wisdom." He’s loving the story, though, so he’s just as guilty of the entitlement as JDM. The panel was a lot more frat boy than J2 usually are these days.

If I’m honest, I think Jared used to give off a bit more of that Frat boy vide, too. You know, when he was around the age of one. This is just the vibe I get from older con and behind the scenes vids, though. But, he’s really learned a lot of humility, and, on top of him just growing up, I think the Jared who has come back after COVID is a more tempered, mature Jared (probably partly from being an EP). He can still be silly and ridiculous, but I don’t think it’s his default as much anymore. And he’s only gotten more gentle with fans and careful with what he says. While Jensen, on the other hand, seems to have started off more humble than he is now (or maybe he was just more reserved, so we didn’t know the shit he was thinking), and has let the constant ego stroking get to his head. He comes off as more careless and entitled than he used to.

I think Jared has outgrown the the majority of the SPN cast, especially the drunken antics and BS of most of the convention crew. I think Jensen only gets a partial pass with him because of their shared history. (Or he’s a really decent person when he’s not "on." Maybe …)

From what I've seen, most fans do not like arrogant, entitled actors. Jensen and JDM are lucky that what's said in convention panels typically doesn't make it outside the online fandom because that story would turn off anyone who prefers their actors be good.

I wasn't in the fandom years ago, but I have seen some of those older panels and yeah, Jared is very different now than what he used to be like. He's really grown into the father/producer/businessman who takes his responsibilities and interactions seriously (but also knows when to have fun). It's why he's respected in the industry and loved by so many who work with him. As for Jensen, well, he's currently reaping the rewards of his current attitude.

[academic-weapon]

SwampCon

word count: 639 words 04.01.23

I have been to five (5) cons, ever, and it never gets less exciting. This was my first time as an active staff member, though. If I can, I'll continue to volunteer in the future. There is just something really nice about getting to speak with cosplayers without having to gather the courage to approach them first, since they're the ones that need something from staff.

Although I didn't ask to take pictures with anyone, regrettably, my aunt did lmao. Cosplay is a form of self-expression and art, alright— a lot of time, effort, and creativity goes into these costumes, and it's great to see them confidently put all of this on display. I know that to many, being asked to take pictures is an acknowledgment of their hard work. I hope my aunt made those Sailor Moon and Genshin cosplayers happy with her requests.

I grew up thinking enjoying manga and anime... was taboo, almost. I get it, there may be social stigmas associated with people who enjoy anime because anime and manga have historically been associated with certain genres that are seen as inappropriate or immature. Genshiken covered this— your average otaku isn't always socially awkward or obsessive. They just are. But now, as the medium becomes more mainstream, it is also more broadly accepted. It's great to see.

That being said, conventions provide a space where people who love aspects of otaku culture can come together and bond over their shared interests. It isn't always easy to find like-minded folks, and the con does just that. It also offers a wide variety of vendors selling neat merchandise that won't really be available at your typical store at the mall. I'm frugal at best and terribly cheap at worst, but even then...

... it had to be done.

I try to justify the purchase by saying that I may never again find the artists I got the prints from, and I really did fall in love with the art you guys. I had had the chance to check out the con prior to my shift starting, spoke with the artist some, and... walked away. My shift supervisor was kind to let me escape briefly to run up to the Artist Alley and grab a couple prints before they closed. Gladly advertising them here because they're so very talented.

And I guess that's kind of the thing. I wouldn't have had the chance to meet that artist or get introduced to the art if not for events like this con. It's about building a sense of community and fitting in seamlessly.

Merch tax right here. Freebie con shirt that staff members and some lucky con-goers were allowed to get, my three prints (terrible picture, but it's Naruto, Chainsaw Man, and Hunter X Hunter, in that order), My Hero keychain, and a handful of freebie stickers. Better than the experience itself... is the stuff you can get out of it.

While I know that I definitely engaged in sharing art and media by ogling art and cosplay and whatnot, I didn't really have time to explore the panels. I was out of town for most of the event, and really only showed up for my scheduled shift. I think that attending panels is a good method to learn more about what makes up Otaku culture; you're exposed to new ideas and perspectives that way, and also new fandoms.

I did get the chance to witness this drag show that was going on, but only briefly. Not to get too political here, guys, but I don't think activities like these "appeal to prurient, shameful, or morbid interests," or whatever. It certainly looked perfectly healthy in there! Amusing to watch, too.

I'm glad I got to attend, and I look forward to being part of more events like these in the future!

[princesscas]

I miss the time where I could watch a panel from whatever convention and laugh while imagining going to one the following year. Plus waiting for the next one to see all the videos, photos, photoops, etc from other con-goers.  But now its all filled with sadness because I legit don’t think any sort of big convention will be happening until MAYBE around the end of 21 if we’re lucky. 

*sighs in american*

[cosplayinamerica]

Wolfman and Donna from Gallery Furniture : allisnoton

My friend Erin and I always try to do a fun group cosplay for DragonCon. We saw a meme on Facebook with a screenshot of Donna and Wolfman that said "I'm this old," and we thought it was hilarious.

If you grew up in Georgia in the 80s and 90s, you know whether you're a Wolfman or a Donna person! Erin immediately suggested we do a cosplay of it for DragonCon. We're both locals, and we love to integrate Atlanta culture into our cosplays. We like to do a casual cosplay so we can transition from the more restrictive daytime cosplays to something that's not too cumbersome, and will make people laugh. Then we are OOC for the rest of the night!

I always make/source everything for my costumes myself. It can be soul crushing at times, but problem solving is part of the fun for me. I got lucky and was able to thrift the shoes, suit, and blouse. Erin got signs made for us to carry. I spent the most time on the wig. I wanted to shop locally, but couldn't find a wig with the right curl texture, so I wound up doing a lot of work styling it. I did two wig styling heavy cosplays that year. There is probably still hairspray in my lungs, haha.

This cosplay was kind of a deep cut. We thought either no one would recognize us, or people would be really excited to see us. Thankfully, it was the latter!

We would go back and forth trying to get people to choose who they'd ask for, Wolfman or Donna. We would price out furniture and tell people to come see us at the stores, which are still open!

A lot of locals were really excited to see this piece of their childhood in the context of the con. It was really fun to see people's reactions. We got a lot of smiles and laughs, and shouting their catch phrases, "Ask for the Wolfman!"

One of my favorite moments was when someone recognized us and pointed to their friend and said, "now that's funny." Their friend didn't recognize the cosplay and she started giving him a hard time, "Aren't you from here? How do you not know them?!"

From the outset, our dream was to have Donna herself see the cosplay. Photos of us got shared on social media after the con, and a friend of a friend texted us to let us know that she saw it, and thought it was great! We love Wolfman and Donna!

It's really easy to get caught up in working on complicated cosplays and forget that the reason we do it is for fun, and for the interactions with fellow con-goers. I often have the best time in the costumes I spend the least amount of effort on. I love the sense of community we have at DragonCon. People travel from all over, but there is still a strong local presence.

Ever since I stepped in line to get my first badge in 2007, I've always felt welcome there. As friends have grown up and moved away,

DragonCon is like a big reunion. It has hurt to miss that this year, but I can't wait for the next opportunity to feel at home in a crowd of tens of thousands of other nerds. It took me years to work up the courage to cosplay.

Don't be afraid to cosplay! If people are jerks, that's their problem. Get creative, let your geek flag fly, look out for one another, and HAVE FUN!

[lowkeysebastianstan]

100% agree with you about the misogyny in seb's fandom. I don't think I've ever cared who he's dated. I had to take a step back from him tho bc of *his* actions. He's taken *3* international beach trips in 4 months in the middle of a pandemic. Two of which are being used as loopholes to get his gf in the u.s. which has me side eyeing that aspect, but even then they're not quarantining properly in a high risk country before coming here. That's *my* issue w him rn-Covid needs to be taken seriously

yeah, i’ve not either. nor have i with any of the male celebrities i’ve been fans of, their private life has never been mine or any other fan’s business imo. 

but of course, i’m still shellshocked from being a fan of benedict Cumberbatch and the treatment of his wife. which, even in fandom standards, is just mindblowing. and so when i see this behaviour by another man’s fans, i get on edge. and frankly, i don’t give a sh*t if she actually did smt r*cist 5 yrs ago, bc that’s also a huge problem, the way the left, which i assume most all sensible ppl to be on, behaves like ‘one strike and you’re out’, you’re not allowed to learn and grow, ever. 

although, you know, hemsworth donned a warbonnet a few yrs ago, and apologised, but then he’s a guy, so. james gunn wrote ph*ophilic tweets, but eh, let him come back. rdj did ACTUAL bl*ckface in a movie, but hey, he’s fine. oh, and y’know, henry cavill basically said it was dangerous to approach a woman after #metoo, and that ‘a woman should be chased’. but he’s everyone’s f*cking darling. jason momoa said he ‘was lucky to get to rape beautiful women’ at a con. benedict cumberbatch used the word ‘col*ured’ in an interview back in, i wanna say 2013, yeah, he was crucified then, even if the word doesn’t have the same connotations in the UK, but eh, i can’t say i’ve heard much abt it since. anthony mackie? he said ‘a woman’s role is to make a man a sandwich’. but he seems all the f*cking rage these days. (i’m doing these off the top of my head, so there’s a lot of paraphrasing, but you’ll get the drift.)

and of course, sebastian himself doesn’t exactly have a stellar record, but you know what? he learned and changed and he became someone i’ve admired a lot for some of the work he’s done that has focused and supported women. point is, even when they were confronted with all that, they weren’t shamed and called slurs, were they? and the partners of famous women aren’t either, they’re just envied? they’re not called golddiggers or sl*ts or... i struggle to think of male slurs, which is just so telling, but whatevs. 

(and no, don’t @ me, i totally think that all these men deserve more chances, not only for this but for many, many mistakes and unwoke things they have done and are gonna do at some point, because we all do. we slip up and do things we later realise was wrong, and we reflect and we regret and we evolve and we become better.)

but, no. not if you’re the girlfriend of an admired man. nono, then gods above and below, save you if you’re caught out bc you’re the f*cking devil. then you’re a wh*re and a b*mbo and a pr*stitute and a b*tch, it’s such fun! and if you wore a kimono at a party, something that’s encouraged by ppl in japan btw, then you’re a r*cist version of all those things. and honestly? whatever has been found on her since, i don’t give a flying f*ck. bc that was more than enough for the vitriol that ensued earlier this summer. no matter who he’s with, there will always be something. the way women treat other women, the way we’re conditioned to do it from birth, it’s just insane. it’s disgusting and hurtful and dangerous, why do we do it? i’m just. sick of it.

again, sebastian’s behaviour is dumb. it’s gross and privileged and stupid. i defended him somewhat after ibiza bc spain was trying to get back on it’s feet, i didn’t even catch that he was in, was it bermuda?, but now it’s getting harder. yeah, the filming and pics are stalkerish af, and i don’t condone that, not even a little, but also i do think it’s wrong to do what he/they’re doing. it’s disrespectful to everyone who’s still locked down for their life, and it’s potentially downright dangerous, depending on what measures that are in place. hell, i took a domestic trip a month ago, before cases had started spiking here, and i still feel guilty bc i know so many other’s can’t. and it’s especially galling to other americans considering the insane situation there, and yeah, kinda rich coming from someone ranting abt irresponsible beach goers in may. 

huh. apparently i wansn’t quite done after all. but then, when am i really ever.

[knb-matchups]

Okay, I'm tempted to indulge in both the alternate match up and relationship headcanons for the one I got, so feel free to pick from this either or.

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i’ll go with both !  because a) i have the time & b) it’s so much fun to come up with these ideas?? (*´▽`*)

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your alternate match is . . .  𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐄 𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐀 !!

it was really a toss up between kuroko & kise for this alternative match. however, i leaned toward kise for this! i’m pretty certain that a gemini & a leo are a great match anyway.

okay so hear me out- kise ryouta is literally a ball of goofy sunshine & you’ll never get bored being around him. he’s a natural when it comes to keeping a conversation. to your introversion, he’s the extroversion you need ! you’ll find yourself opening up because of how easygoing & open he is as a person. his good looks helps, too.

it’s a fact he’s popular, yes, but the reality is he’s only got eyes for you. i mean, you are one of the most realest & sweetest girl (who is, by the way, often overlooked) he knows ! in all honesty, he may in passing not bat an eye at you, but by chance (perhaps through a school project or something of that nature), he’ll get to know you. and i swear, this boy will regret not getting to know you earlier.

he’ll cherish the one on one time that he gets with you because you are like breath of fresh air to him. you aren’t the typical crazy fangirl he’s bombarded with; you’re you & he appreciates how you don’t put on airs and bend yourself backwards to be someone he would fall for. in turn, your genuine personality & overall persona has got him wrapped around your finger.

kise also picks up on your little quirks- like how you are with social situations. and while he may not initially understand empathetically why you get drained being around a group of people, he’ll be quick to make a casual exit with you to ensure you’re recharged to your comfortable state. 

he may seem like the type who doesn’t care about girls, but with the ones he’s close with, you best believe he’ll showcase his serious & protective side. let’s not forget the fact he’s also a quick learner; as a result, he’ll be informed on all there is to know about you. 

also? give him credit for his outlandish romantic gestures! he adores it when you’re smiling, so for special occasions, he likes to go all out. it may take a few tries, but he’ll finally find out what truly makes you happy & cater his gestures to that.

kise strikes to me as someone who is a party-goer & enjoys the social scene, but at the same time, he does enjoy the more intimate affairs. when he’s bored of hanging out with tiresome people, he’ll definitely find solace in chatting with you about the subjects you enjoy such as your ideas surrounding characters & stories. 

he’ll gladly talk about his ideas, to which you’re happy for, but the two of you find he’s a bit better at simply listening rather than inserting in his ideas. no offense; i’m sure he’ll get it one day.

also- kise is definitely a touchy-feely person; he’s not afraid of showcasing his affections through hugs or sometimes a small peck on your forehead. you may have to push him away if he tries to initiate this pda. but, kise can’t help but want to display his love for you (especially if you’re shy about such affection).

for someone so outwardly bubbly as kise, it may come as a surprise to some that he does have a cold side. he’ll only showcase this to people, who he, frankly, doesn’t care about. to you, he’s never truly showed you his colder side because in all interactions he’s had with you, he was pretty cheery & upbeat. however, his two-faced nature comes out especially if his protective instinct comes over him. 

he’s quick to change his mood if there’s someone being particularly troublesome to you.

to put it simply, you guys would make a really cute couple! yet, there is always some backlash with having two fundamentally different people together. you both would have to compromise & find ways to make it work because some things just don’t work naturally. but if you do, the effort will pay off !

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relationship headcanons with . . . 𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐈 𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐔 !!

PROS

you’re both so considerate of each other !  you guys literally will put each other first, and it’s so wholesome. sakurai will never want to make you uncomfortable around him, and the same applies with you to him.

of the two of you, it’ll be hard to say who’s the better gift giver. both of you are thoughtful & very perceptive in nature, so who’s to say who’s better if you both win the “best girlfriend / best boyfriend” award?

your relationship is equal in terms of give & take. this is also good to know for the long run because you both know that not one person is trying to do it all.

you guys rarely fight. and even when you do, you both have that ingrained need of reconciling ( the moment probably ends up being like that classic moment where the two of you apologize at the same time -- )

your interests/hobbies align! it makes for a natural relationship to occur based on these similarities in character. due to this fact, you both find comfort in doing these activities together & it’s a way for you to always have a connection.

both of your confidence levels are fairly low, so the two of you try to lift each other up by describing in detail all the good qualities you guys have. this becomes such a soft & tender ritual you guys share. 

CONS

you both will have trouble communicating woes that you have with one another. i can see you guys walking on eggshells, trying so hard not to bother each other with things that you think don’t matter. 

but if you guys bottle up these woes, the reality is . . . at some point, the bottle will. . . explode because of the accumulative amount ! it doesn’t even have to be something big that blows the cap off.

when you guys end up fighting, perhaps due to this, it can get brutal in the sense bottled up feelings will come out like a tidal wave & things that you don’t mean will come out.

things may be a lil’ awkward & tense between you two; guilt & regret being the main feelings you two share. but you guys will reconcile; you always do !

you both don’t have much of a sense of adventure or risk-- you both are more drawn to staying within your zone of comfort. and while that’s perfectly fine, there may be things you both are missing out on.

HEADCANONS/SCENARIOS

as mentioned before, your dates will be so cute.

but the special occasion dates are on a whole different level.

sakurai will worry so much about making it perfect (being the perfectionist he is), and he’ll go back to his habit of apologizing profusely if something minuscule is wrong.

say it’s your birthday-- he’ll definitely want to have an intimate celebration because he knows large parties & groups of people is not up your alley at all!

he’ll be so sweet-- hanging up cute decorations at his house where he’ll lead you to after treating you out on an excursion for your birthday. from the bookstore to your favorite restaurant for lunch, he’ll make sure you guys hit all your favorite places.

it’s basically a way for him to showcase his love & gratitude for you ; he wants to say how lucky he is to have you in his life and while he can’t make it super luxurious, he wants this day to be special.

it’s overwhelming how kind he is. he’ll also have all the trademark birthday decorations-- with a theme of red because he knows that’s your favorite color. 

red balloons, red confetti, red dessert . . . it’ll be be quite the party even though it’s for a party of two. but, it’s special because even the idea of the two of you having quality time is more than enough.

then again, he doesn’t skimp out on gifts. he just goes all in just to see you happy.

even with how thoughtful he is about his gift, he’ll still apologize when he gives it to you, saying that he’s sorry if it’s not what you wanted or if it’s a bad gift. . . 

you, of course, tell him how much you’re grateful for his gift because it’s honestly so perfect? plus, has anyone ever went all out for you this way before? probably not on the same caliber as sakurai- that’s for sure.

he went above & beyond your expectations- essentially, he picked up on what you’d love through small hints from conversation. you’re not the type to give someone a list of what exactly you’d like as you probably see it as rude (which sakurai kind of adores that aspect of you anyway).

the whole day is basically perfect with the perfect boyfriend and just that fact makes you overwhelmed with happiness.

some other relationship things !!

sakurai would love to watch anime with you?? since it’s the next best thing asides from manga. he’ll get so emotionally attached to the characters that you find it kinda sweet how he’ll say with such a serious expression that this character deserved better and such.

sakurai is the type to draw out happy endings to the anime/manga characters that didn’t get the love they deserve. and you admire his skill of the art. but you definitely help with the writing aspect of it (from the overall development & characterization).

if you guys end up living together in a house or an apartment, sakurai is more than willing to do the house chores-- cleaning to cooking to whatever; he’s quite proficient & you’ll be surprised at how good his food tastes, too!

on that note, he’ll get a warm feeling when you offer to help him; old habits die hard since he’ll apologize and say that he didn’t mean to guilt you into doing chores.

you weren’t "guilted” though.

he basically feels so lucky to live with you, so that’s the reason why he’s so willing to be like a “housewife”.

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— lily ! ♡

[ofravensandgenesis]

Meme Tag Games!

Thank you for all the lovely tags!! :D <3 This is quite belated but between some health happenings, the weather deciding to turn the thermostat way up (and the house AC went out), and other stuff, I got swamped for a while there. Here we are now though! :D Tagging anyone who wants to jump in on any of these, namely FC5 GFH tag game; OC Fighting Style; and WIP Day. Continued below the cut because this got long:

FC5 Guns For Hire Meme Game

Tagged by @chyrstis​ and @amistrio​ for the FC5 GFH meme, thank you for the tag!! :D <3 We have full length responses with some banter with the human GFH in particular here. I was kind of stumped with how to answer this for Joshua in what he might say as a GFH since his verse is very tailored for him being the Deputy and all the psychic shenanigans. Eventually I got over that and this is basically an AU where there’s another (unnamed here) Deputy who IS slated to be The Deputy that Joshua is trying to help (and convince to do less murder) to explain how he fits into a verse as a Gun For Hire. Psychic shenanigans still happen in this AU of an AU ofc, just it’s perhaps less prominent. We’re skipping over possible musings of relevant sidequests for Joshua relating to the Seeds in this for the sake of time, though I acknowledge that it’s something to explore, likely would impact the endgame with the Heralds, cult, and Joseph depending on the Deputy’s choices of doing a Kill or No-kill run. This verse also assumes that Joshua, the Deputy, Whitehorse, Pratt, and Hudson all got away or were not present for the helicopter crash. Other characters minor and otherwise who are alive in Joshua’s main fic verse ACABH are the same as in that story thus far, such as Rae-Rae and Ryan being alive. We’ll also presume the Seeds are all still alive at the time of these dialogue lines.

Deputy Joshua Raguel Rook

(All images used were public domain and/or labeled free for reuse under creative commons license. Above image was sourced from [here.]) With Fangs for Hire

Boomer: “Hey there boy, how’re you feeling today? Got some venison strips saved for you, you eating enough with all this running around?” [cue more small talk and praise for Boomer about how Boomer’s doing such a good job and Joshua feeding Boomer bits of cooked meat. Will likely sing snatches of cheery dog-themed songs he’s heard when in the party with Boomer and there’s no enemies nearby.]

Peaches: “...I hope that’s not people-meat in your teeth, Peaches, you know how Miss Mable feels about that, it’s bad for your health. I’m also not quite brave enough to want to brush your teeth—though maybe Dr. Lindsey or Wade can offer advice on that. We’ll get you some nice fish instead, that’s a good kitty.” [He’s a bit more shy around Peaches than Boomer bc cougar, but an effort at friendliness will be made.]

Cheeseburger: “...that is one big bear. He’s a sweetheart though. Just...hoping he doesn’t make a mistake of who he’s barreling into. It’s not like we’re wearing team colors or anything.” [Cheeseburger is a sweetie and Joshua likes him, but also: bear. Joshua’s a bit wary around him, but will still feed Cheeseburger salmon when able. May crack a joke paralleling Cheeseburger going “Only You Can Prevent Cult Gun Fire.” Will not crack this joke after any Jacob-region events though.]

With Other Guns for Hire:

Sharky

Sharky: So amibro, I was thinking, you know how those Angels are all dead in the head and stuff? How are they still shuffling around, is the Bliss like a zombie plant or something? Joshua: ...no, that’s more in line with the aliens that Larry keeps going on about I’m sure. Something about brainmelting and bendy straws, I got lost when he started mentioning Navier-Stokes equations for how the...resulting brain juice would be redirected. [Shuddery noise of disgust.] I’m not sure if he’s serious or just fucking with me and referencing Guy’s zombie movie series at this point. Could be either or. The Bliss is more like...like...uh. Like if you lost the keys to your car, but the car’s your body. You get me? Sharky: Damn, remind me never to OD on the stuff, I lose the keys to my car all the time. Sometimes I can’t be bothered to find em and just jiggle the lock so I can hop on in to hotwire the car because I’m in a hurry, you know? Ladies love a man who’s good with his hands, and who’s good with time and can improvise. You think that’d work on the Bliss car keys? Joshua: Maybe? Not everyone seems to be as readily lost to the Bliss at the same amounts. Personally I’d wager you’d be able to find your way back to your body no matter where you were in the bliss if we stood you near a signal fire. Sharky: This is why we’re friends man! Ride or die! ...also can you help me find my keys with that trick of yours, I lost ‘em again. Joshua: Yeah, though did you check under your bed? Also, maybe hang your regular set and a spare set of keys on a hook by the door so you can always find them, just in case you’re in a hurry.

Hurk

Joshua: Hurk. [Said in a Mild, Judgmental Voice of Impending Doom From A Friend kind of tone.] Hurk: Hey man I didn’t do nothin’ to deserve that tone of voice now don’t you start on me. Joshua: How can you say that when you and Sharky went and invented zipline grenade-golf without me last night? And blew up part of the mini-YES-sign. Hurk: Oh man you were talking up Lindsey and with the way the two of you were smiling and laughing, we figured you might be getting lucky so like the proper supportive wingmen me and Sharky were, we left you gentlemen some of our finest booze and sticky green. You did find it didn’t you, I’d hate to waste the gifts of the beneficent Monkey God from above as He Who Likes To Par-tay Above And Here Below On This Earth did command me never to waste beer or the good kush and to always help a brother out who’s trying to hook it up with their fine persons of choice. Joshua: Hurk I’m not— [sighs in accepting and fond exasperation.] It’s not like that with me and Charles— Hurk: Ooooooooooooo, you’re on a first name basis already! I knew you had it in you! Get it man, get it good! I’m not into that, you know I like the ladies strictly, but I will support your endeavors no matter the sex of your fellow party-goer as leader of Hurk Gate and the Bro-iest of Bros. Joshua: Hurk oh my god, I’m not trying to sleep with or romance him. I’m—he’s not looking for that, at least not with me certainly, and I—...just, thanks. I still have most of the beer and weed leftover if you and Sharky are up for graffiting one of John’s billboard signs though. You in? Hurk: Hell yeah man, and oo, you did get some then, Josh you sly dog! Joshua: I DID NOT! [Meta-clarification: Joshua indeed did not, for reasons to be revealed at a later time in the main fic.]

Sharky, Hurk, and Joshua, if one bends the mechanics so they are all in the party together at the same time:

Sharky: Pfhahahahaha oh man did you see the look on those Peggies’s faces when we came just crashing down the mountainside in that burning car? It was priceless!

Joshua: What better way to set fire to mass amounts of Bliss fields than with a moving fireball? Sharky: I know man it was great! We didn’t get too singed or nothin’! We gotta try that burning trash-ball idea next time though, like building a snowman but with fire! A fireman! Ha! That was the easiest fifty bucks of my life, cuz. Joshua: Hold up a tick now, what. Hurk: Sharky man that’s against the betting code! You’re not supposed to tell! Joshua: Oh, you cheeky bastards were betting on if Sharky could convince me to drive the car down the hill, weren’t you. Hurk: Man it’s always a crap shoot with you, specially around cars. That’s what makes it fun, sometimes you get all “guys that’s not safe,” [said with a poor imitation of Joshua’s voice complete with a very terrible southern, Georgian-style accent before Hurk switches to his normal speaking voice to continue,] —and other times it’s just “hold my beer.” You’re not going to go all prim and proper on us now are ya? Joshua: I can’t believe you two. Gambling in Hope County, I’m shocked, shocked. Sharky you owe me half, I’ll buy you a beer first round. Sharky: Hell yeah man! Hurk: Wait a second did you two just con me? I’ve been robbed! Police! Joshua: Hurk I *am* the police, one of them present at least. Hurk: Oh shit son, you right. Help I’m being oppressed by the system!

Nick Rye

[This conversation happens after Seed Ranch has been taken, along with the AU detail of capturing John’s plane Affirmation at the same time, preferably early on, while John is still alive.] Nick: Hey Joshua I was talking to Sharky— Joshua: Oh no. Nick: And he had an idea that wasn’t half bad. Not a good one, and you’d be liable to get killed or captured, but I got stuck thinking on it and wanted to ask: What d’you think would happen if you dressed up like the Father and just pulled a whole Mission: Impossible face-a-roo switch? You can do that imitation of how he speaks and everything, I’ve heard you do it before. And with how high the Peggies are most of the time, they’re so far out of their gourds they wouldn’t notice the differences. Joshua: You mean aside from his brothers and sister noticing he’s suddenly an inch shorter, twenty years younger and the wrong brand of crazy? Nick: Just go off about there being an edit to God’s Plan or something, and you could get makeup or something going on with that age thing. People do all kinds of wizardry with foundation and stuff, though you’d have to ask someone else on that. Maybe Addie or someone she knows? I don’t know if they have aging-up tricks compared to aging-down though. It could work! Might be a quick way to end the fighting if we can just stuff Joseph into a car trunk and then stash him in a bunker somewhere while you’re pretending you’re him. Joshua: Nick my tattoos are different and I’m not going to convince people I’m Joseph if I have to do one of his shirtless walkarounds, NOR am I having sins and Bible verses carved into my hide to complete the look. I don’t think we have any special effects or make up artists in the county who specialize in convincingly fake scars made out of latex or something. Nick: I don’t know, that Guy Marvel might have someone. Or, had someone. He has to be able to afford all those special effects somehow. Joshua: I’m not going anywhere near that guy with a ten foot pole man, he weirds me out. Also consider: I’d have to talk to Jacob, John and Faith as Joseph. I don’t want that kind of responsibility of herding that conversation at the family dinner. Nick: Hoo, good point. So...how is that family bullshit coming along then? Joshua: I have no idea, I’m just winging it, like you are. Nick: [who’s currently flying a plane, thus the slight pun] Heh. Good luck with that then, and let me know if you want me to paint something special on John’s precious little Affirmation next time you take it out for a spin to spite him. Joshua: I’m sure I can think of a thing or two.

Adelaide

Adelaide: Honey you need to take a breather one of these days and just take a load off, if you keep up the way you’re going you’re going to end up looking more like your dad sooner rather than later. You should swing by the Marina sometime and have a yoga session with Xander, really helps get the blood pumping and limber you up if you know what I’m saying. Joshua: [Snorts in amusement.] Is Xander trying to convince you to eat more kale chips instead of potato chips again? Adelaide: Rook sweetie, I love Xander but there are some things a woman won’t put in her mouth, and kale chips are one of them. Joshua: I’ll swing by sometime to help out with the kale chips then, and maybe get in a yoga session at the same time. It’s been a while since I chatted Xander up what with the county going pearshaped. Adelaide: I’ll never understand how you two can eat those things. Ugh. Gives me the willies. Joshua: *I* eat them dipped in homemade spicy nacho cheese sauce. I have no idea how Xander eats them straight and still claims to have working tastebuds.

Grace

[For context: This conversation is based on the AU’s detail that Grace’s father has survived the previous attempt on his life prior to the start of the Reaping.]

Joshua: Did you crack open the extra care packages we dropped off yet Grace, or did your dad get to ‘em first? Grace: You referring to the chocolate bars you stashed in there? I got my share of them out in time. Joshua: Good, I was a little worried when you told me they were missing last time. Thought they might’ve been lifted without me knowing beforehand. Grace: He’s a sly one when sweets are up for grabs. Now if you can do something about the shortage of decent coffee… Joshua: What’s that? A reason to piss John off today and raid his personal stash? Say no more!

Jess

Jess: So. Joshua: So. Jess: Just like old times but with more fucked up cultist family bullshit than before, huh. Joshua: [Sighs.] Yeah. Jess: That’s rough, buddy. Joshua: Least I can steal shit en masse from the cultists and no one else minds right now. For the life of me though I can’t figure out where all of the snacks from Lorna’s went when the Peggies hit her place. I think they ate ‘em all. Jess: [Noise of disgust.] Those two-faced fuckers going on and on about how bad commercially produced food is and how everyone should get back to basics, but there they go snatching up all the frosted cakes and maple bars like it's baby’s first shoplifting spree. Joshua: I know right? Even if they do believe the end of the world’s coming, that’s still rude to clean the store out on the first go around—leave some snacks for the next bunch of looters, god damn.

In Combat

[Note: due to Joshua’s verse details, this comes with the assumption that were one to play in a version of his universe, the Deputy would have a kill/spare mechanic and thus also an option of doing a No Kill run and variations on that spectrum, which Joshua’s mechanics would support more so. This would likely also mean some additional options for the other guns-for-hire and creative use of their canonical loadouts and abilities. Joshua’s setup would overlap with Boomer and Jess’s via the Spotter and Concealment abilities, and he’d be equipped with a bliss dart gun and a scoped hunting rifle. Also melee options and such.] Seeing/tagging an enemy: “Hey look, another whack-a-mole.” / ”Fashionably challenged mountain-man zealot sighted.” / “Enemy sighted.” Seeing/tagging multiple enemies at once: “duck, duck, cultists.”/ “The Rapture called, they don’t want these Peggies back.” / “multiple hostiles in the area.” Bliss darting/knocking out a Peggie at range: “Nap time.” / “Another one bites the dust.” / “Down they go!” / “A little dirt nap never hurt any Peggie. Won’t hurt their outfits any either, a little dirt brown looks better than all of that mayonnaise-white so many of them wear anyway.” Knocking out a Peggie with a non-lethal stealth takedown: “Lights out.” / “Rang this one’s chimes hard enough he’ll think it’s time for morning service on a sunday when he wakes up.” / “Sleep tight.” / “She’s/he’s down.” Sneaking: “Feels like a tuesday.”  / “...” / “Five bucks says I can pickpocket the guards and they’d never even know till later.” / “Moving position.” / “Good to go.” Upon witnessing the Deputy killing an enemy: “Was that really necessary?!” / “...shit.” / “Maybe we should disengage and drop back out of sight instead of this.” / “What the fuck!” Reviving an ally/The Deputy: “Don’t you go dying on me! Stay alive, you’ve got so much to live for!” / “Come on, let’s get you patched up, you’re gonna be okay!” / “No no no! Don’t you dare die! Not today!” Hurt: “MOTHERFUCKER!” / “Ow!” / “God damn it, I just patched this shirt! And myself!” / “This is NOT my fucking element, fuck!” / “Why are we even in a situation where we’d get shot at?!” Downed: “Could use a little help over here!” / “Bleeding out, help!” / “...mom?”

Driving

When asked to drive: “...you sure? I really think someone else driving would be a better idea under current circumstances, but okay. Just don’t go making a habit out of this. Please. For everyone’s sake.” / “No.” [This is followed by outright refusal to sit in the driver’s seat.] / [Optionally if Sharky and/or Hurk are around] “Ugh. Just...gotta pretend this is driving through a Clutch Nixon. With live gun fire, instead of just fire-fire.”

When the Deputy/someone else is driving recklessly: “Iwantoffthisride” / “I’m going to have to pick upholstery out from under my nails later.” / “JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL.” / [Recites a Hail Mary.] / “Having a good time! NOT.” / [If it’s Sharky or Hurk driving] “This is the kind of reckless driving I can get behind. Through regular past exposure therapy.” Changing radio stations: [If it’s being changed to Eden’s Gate stations] “Can we not? I’ve heard this music so many times it’s old as hell, however catchy.” / “They did do a good job on the music, I gotta say. More ominous meaning to the lyrics right now in particular though.” / [If it’s being changed to Resistance Radio stations] “Road trip time! Watch out for moose in the road.” / “Hell yeah, crank those tunes!” / “I’m glad we have regular music to listen to still, it’d be such a drag to have to go without it.”

Idle

- [General] “What’s up? Everything going alright with you?” - [General] “I heard of a good fishing spot where the rainbow trout [or other game fish depending on situation/mechanics] are really biting today if you want to take a breather and just do a bit of fishing.” [this dialogue only triggers if the Deputy hasn’t filled out the map yet for fishing spots, and adds one to the map with a notification.] - [General] “Hey, there’s a prepper stash over yonder, if you want to try your hand at getting at it. [This dialogue only triggers at random if the Deputy hasn’t polished off all the nearby Prepper stashes already. Marks a nearby prepper stash on the map and gives a notification.]

- [General] “You know what surprises me? That the Project didn’t try to shut off the power plant to at least portions of the county. Sure lots of people are preppers or woodsmen and such, but electricity makes everything easier for us. Weird, ain’t it? They have the technicians for it I’m sure. Guess we should thank our lucky stars they either didn’t think of that or decided it wasn’t worth it. We’d be straight out of ice cold beer then, Whitehorse would hate that.” - [If the Deputy is taking the no-kill route] “Hey I just want to say...I appreciate you trying not to kill people, even if some of these cultists are absolute motherfuckers who deserve it. We might be able to stop all their prophecy crap dead in its tracks if you keep this up. And...you know. Thanks for not killing my crazy relatives? I think. They’ve done a lot of bad shit and they need to answer for that, but...the right way, not backwoods murder. We’re better than that, I hope.” - [If the Deputy is taking the killing route] “I get wanting to kill the Seeds and the cult...but this isn’t going to end well, even after we’re done. I wish you wouldn’t, but I can’t stop you if this is the choice you’ve made. ...I’m sorry I can’t be of more help to you. I...hope you’ll be alright, in the end. But I don’t think you will be.” [Recall that Joshua Knows What Will Happen To The Deputy if they take the canonically-based killing route. He leaves before the final confrontation, and curiously Whitehorse, Pratt, and Hudson don’t show up in the final scene either—ie, whichever route the Deputy chooses, they survive elsewhere (coughcough Joshua’s secret bunker cough.) The scene with Joseph still happens more or less the same, only the Deputy leaves alone if they choose Walk Away, and ends up alone with Joseph if they choose Resist. Also interestingly enough: Dutch isn’t present on the radio, nor in his bunker. His fish have been taken too. Joshua didn’t have the time to grab everyone, so he tried to grab the ones he knew for sure would die, and warned the others that he foresaw not surviving the Collapse or aftermath, like Mary May and Jess Black, or who suffered serious injuries like Grace. His buds Sharky and Hurk he bribes with beer and weed to hide out in their bunker or hang out in his while this goes down. Boomer, Cheeseburger, and Peaches are all herded to safety (yes there are mechanics for that in the standard AU verse, we shan’t delve into them here though bc spoilers tho.) The others he tries to warn, but whether he managed to get to them and some of the other latter people mentioned above in time or not is uncertain.] - [If the Deputy switched from a killing route to a no-kill route and all of the Seeds are still alive, Joshua sounds relieved] “Hey, I know it’s...it’s hard to hold off pulling the trigger when someone who’s hurt so many people is in your gunsights, but...I do think bringing them in for actual processing through the legal system—a proper trial without bullshit—is the better way. For all of us. Thank you.” - [If the Deputy switched from a no-kill route to a killing route, sounds slightly devastated] “...Why?” - [If the Deputy is doing a “neutral” run of killing significant numbers of cultists, but is sparing the Seeds as they go] “...I appreciate you not killing the murdery head-cult-family members, but…you think we could maybe lighten up on killing the rank and file? They don’t have the big names and they aren’t the leaders, but those are still people. They are responsible for their own actions, not saying they aren’t, but many of them are redeemable. Not all of them, but...maybe we can just lay them out in the infirmary for a good long while instead? Nothing permanent. The bad ones though can fall off a cliff.”

- [If the Deputy is doing a “selective killing” run of not killing rank and file cultists, but is in the process of killing all the Seed Heralds. Joshua sounds conflicted.] “I appreciate you not killing the followers, though some of them are definitely bastards who shouldn’t be allowed to walk free for the shit they’ve done, but...you think we could...maybe not kill the Seeds either? The Seeds are the primary responsible parties, not contesting that, but maybe we can just kick their asses and arrest them instead? It might help dampen the chaos somewhat, maybe we can use ‘em for leverage. We certainly could hide them somewhere secure that the Peggies wouldn’t be able to find ‘em. It’d be easier to talk Joseph down too, using his siblings as leverage.” [See above for killing route ending details.] Also? We’re driving in separate cars. Don’t turn on the radio, stay away from the others. You’re still brainwashed, and dangerous.” [Joshua is disappointed in the Deputy for not having stuck to some manner of universal moral principle.] - [If friendly, and the Deputy is on either a no-kill playthrough or has switched to a no-kill route,] “Hey, you wanna play a game of checkers, or chess? Take five for a bit, if you got the time?” - [If friendly, and the Deputy is on either a no-kill playthrough or has switched to a no-kill route,] “Hey, not to be mushy or anything, but...thank you. For being you. It’s inspiring to see someone’s able to take the higher path when everything’s falling to pieces all around us. Makes me have a little bit more faith in humanity, too.” - [If friendly, and the Deputy is on either a no-kill playthrough or has switched to a no-kill route, and has been on said no-kill route for a decent amount of time,] “Hey, we grabbed some really good produce this time around and sent it on over to Casey. Told him I’d tell you to swing by, and asked him to save some for you in case you were interested. They’ve got some fresh beef for burgers and sandwiches, pumpkin pie, apple pie, loaded baked potatoes, and all kinds of other tasty stuff for a cookout. The Ryes are coming round to help pitch in and organize it all as a little morale boost party. Wanna come? You deserve to put up your feet and relax, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who’d appreciate your company if you felt like joining in. If you’d rather not, I can sneak food to you if you want quiet time to yourself. It’s all good, just tell me what you want and where you want it.”

Location Specific:

- Near where the police station was, if it’s been burned down: [Sighs.] “While I’m not missing the paperwork that got torched, there was a nice feel of history to the old place. Wish they hadn’t burned it down, fuckers. But, well...the Project and the Seeds have good reason to have no love for police and authority figures among others, even before all this horribleness and the leadup stuff came down. So I can’t say I’m surprised they did.”

- Upon entering the Spread Eagle, if friendly: “Finally, a place where everybody knows our names instead of yelling “Deputies!” at us all day! Wanna hit up the arcade? I’ll buy the first round if you get the higher score.”

- Seed Ranch, outside if it hasn’t been liberated, inside if it has been liberated: “Never going to understand why some folks want real airy houses with so much dead space as their main living quarters. Feels more like a knickknack museum you’re supposed to look at, not a home you’re supposed to live in. He’s got all this Eden’s Gate paraphernalia in those glass display cases, and I don’t doubt John’s fervent in his beliefs, but it feels more like a rich boy’s hunting and vacation lodge cobbled together with a vague idea of home. You saw the doghouse out back, right? What’s the point of having a dog live outside if you’ve got ALL this space, it’s all finished wood floors, and you’ve made sure to train ‘em and raise ‘em properly so they know not to chew on the furniture? It’s lonely, that’s what this is. Joseph chides John and all that about learning to love, but it’s a case of the blind leading the blind there.” - Outside St. Francis Veterans Center: [Before the Veterans Center is liberated, if Jacob has captured the Deputy at least once, so the song “Only You” is played around the Center, and the melody starts to be audible in the distance as the group approaches.] “Yeah hey, I’m going to go the other way now and wait for you over here where I can’t hear the song of madness, ‘kay? Maybe you should avoid it too.” [This is followed by Joshua refusing to go too close to the Center, sans possible AU story missions.] - Anywhere near Joseph’s Island: [The first time the party gets near Joseph’s Island,] “Uh. No. I’m not going near that place twice any sooner than we need to.” [Watch Joshua be willing to jump out even into deep water and swim away if the Deputy tries to approach the island with him in tow on a boat.]

OC Fighting Style

Tagged by @chyrstis​ !! Thank you for the tag!! :D <3 This was another fun one to fill out (and shorter than the above but you know what we’re stapling all of these bad boys into one post bc Why Not.) Have an aesthetic picture of a Jacob sheep skull upon a sheep skin for the fun implications of what that says about Joshua’s fighting style. xD Ram skull image after some searching was sourced from [here], with a creative commons license for free-to-reuse, with some limitations.

Rules: bold = often (or always), italics = sometimes, default = rarely, strike = never

fight honorably / fight dirty / prefer close-quarters / prefer range / chat during / go silent / low pain tolerance / high pain tolerance / attack in bursts / attack steadily / go for the kill / aim to disarm / fight defensively / bait an opponent’s first strike / strike first / provoked easily / provoke their opponent / tease / get visibly frustrated / shout while attacking / use strategy / focus on their battle / experience conflicting thoughts during battle / rush in recklessly / try to read their opponent before fighting / fight wildly / fight calmly, apathetically / fight with anger / fight with excitement / fight because they have to / fight because they want to / fight without regard to wounds / run away when wounded / hide wounds / take a blow to protect another / prefer a blade / prefer a gun (non lethal rounds/tranquilizer darts) / prefer a bow / prefer a shield /  prefer a spear naginata / prefer a personalized weapon / prefer psychic abilities / prefer brawling / their greatest weakness is physical / their greatest weakness is mental / their greatest weakness is emotional / transform for battle / fight as they appear / rely on strength / rely on speed / use everything they have / hide their full potential / exhaust quickly /  high stamina / doubt their strength / proceed with caution / behave arrogantly / brag after landing a hit / belittle their abilities / use psychological tactics / use brute strength / avoid civilians / strike down civilians / damage surroundings / avoid damaging surroundings / signature fighting style / making it up as they go / mastered skillset / learning their skillset / fancy footwork / sloppy footwork / messy fighter / elegant fighter / accept defeat / refuse defeat / beg for mercy / compliment their opponent / insult their opponent / use unnecessary movements / move efficiently / barely move / prefer to dodge / prefer to block / defend their blindside / has no blindside / use all available advantages / strictly use one main method / play around / hold back / fight ruthlessly / show mercy / wait for opponent to be ready / strike when opponent isn’t ready / fear death  / fear pain / fear killing / has PTSD / avoid fighting / has lost a fight / has won a fight / has killed / refuses to kill / want to die standing / would succumb slowly

WIP Day

Tagged by @chyrstis and @hawkfurze !! Thank you for the tags!! :D <3

An excerpt from the current WIP chapter for ACABH: ————————— Weak. He was so weak, barely able to move right now, and he didn’t even know why. There was pain, a lot of pain, a feeling like his bones were on fire and about to crumble under pressure at any moment—but he’d been through worse. In this instance, he could recall that he’d fallen through the sky for a brief tumultuous time before gravity had stepped in, leading to him landing hard upon the road, as if making up for the lack of physics earlier. ——————��——

[preface2adreamplay]

Under Your Spell (Part 20) - A Thorn of Wisdom

Summary: A Jared Padalecki/OFC /Oscar Isaac fiction.

Stef and Claire try to enjoy themselves at the con.

Chapter warnings: Flirting, swearing, infidelity, smut.

Chapter WC: 3,617

I risk a kiss. One kiss

One kiss!

I knew from then my life had died

Stef sat alone pushing food around her plate. 

Giving up, she pushed it away. The restaurant was empty, Claire had never showed. Dropping as good a tip as she could on the table, Stef gathered her things and stepped out into the crisp autumn afternoon. It was warmer than yesterday, which was lucky as she had only brought a light jacket.

Shades down over her eyes, she wandered the streets for a bit. Everyone was bustling around, enjoying themselves, convention goers were easy to spot; most of them were wearing some kind of geek-tastic garments. 

Stef’s phone had been pinging in her purse the last half hour, but she didn’t bother checking it, if it were really important, they’d call. 

Deciding to do something she hadn’t done in at least a decade, Stef found a bench in the local park and slipped on her headphones. The familiar sounds of Radiohead’s ‘Creep’ filled her ears. Elbows on her knees, she put her chin into her hands and watched the world go by. 

There was couple not too far away, both looking at something on a phone and laughing and another in the distance being very, very handsy. 

She thought of Jared’s hands, how they made every part of her feel small. 

Can we stop thinking about Jared for five minutes? Stef scolded herself.

Turning up the song, she ignored her inner thoughts. 

The sun was dipping lower in the sky and she was utterly alone in the park now. 

Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she scrolled through the messages. 

Claire: Shit, sorry about lunch I went to the restaurant but you were gone. 

Claire: Where are you?

Claire: You ok?

Darius: Hope you’re having fun, buy me something with dads face on it

Jared: Sorry about earlier, what you up to?

There was a missed call from Claire.

‘Hey bitch, whats up?’

‘Where are you?’

‘I’m walking out of the park right now, on my way back to the hotel.’

‘Are you on your own?’

Stef looked around, checking over her shoulder. ‘Yep.’

‘Where is it, we will come get you.’

‘It’s only, like, four blocks away.’

‘Hot young woman alone in a park, bitch, we are coming to get you before someone else does.’

‘Fine, I’ll wait by the hot dog stand.’

As Claire was hanging up, she could hear Richard getting an earful of abuse. Stef chuckled, Claire never put the crazy on a slow boil. 

The hot dog stand seller was determined to sell a hot dog to Stef, trying to lure her in with the promise of the best mustard she’s ever had.

Telling him she was a vegetarian who hated mustard didn’t deter him. 

She sighed with relief as an S.U.V. pulled up next to her, Claire’s hand beckoning her from the open window. Stef climbed into the back. She shook off the chill and the hot dog stink.

‘You ok, why did you just disappear? I was so worried.’

Claire had twisted around in her seat, a crease between her eyebrows as she scowled.

‘You didn’t show up for lunch, so I went for a walk.’

‘But you were gone for hours!’ She screeched.

‘Chill the fuck out, Claire.’

Richard was watching her in the rear view mirror. 

‘Everyone was starting to freak out.’

Stef rolled her eyes, feeling like a teenager who had been caught breaking the law by a very disappointed parent.

‘What were you doing that you missed the dinner?’

‘I’ll tell you later,’ Claire huffed, back into her bad mood. 

Stef pulled out her phone, desperate to ignore the tension.

Stef: I’m heading back to the hotel now, been out enjoying the sights.

Jared saw the message straight away, typing back quick as a shot.

Jared: I’m free for a half hour, can I come to your room?

Stef: ok, but no funny business.

Pulling into the underground, Richard parked up and put a hand on Claire’s knee. 

‘I’m calm. I’m sorry, I just got worried about her.’

Richard nodded quietly. 

‘Sorry, I got snappy, Stef.’

Stef grabbed her friend as they walked to the elevator, pulling her into a crushing hug. ‘I know you love me, sorry I didn’t contact you. I just needed a bit of head space.’

Claire took her hand, the other already in Richard’s. The three of them stood in the elevator in silence. Breaking apart when the doors slid open on Stef’s floor. 

‘I’ll meet up with you guys in a bit.’

Claire wiggled in her fingers in farewell as Stef made her way down the hall.

Jared was leaning against the wall, ankles crossed. 

So goddamn cute, Stef thought.

He stood to his full height when he saw her coming toward him, leaning in for a quick kiss on the cheek. ‘You good?’ He asked, pinching her chin between his thumb and forefinger.

‘Yeah, I’m good. Wanna come in?’ It was a useless question, he was on her heels as she opened the door. 

She plonked herself onto the bed, taking off her boots. Jared sat on the edge of the desk, his arms folded across his chest, brows furrowed.

‘If you have something to say, please say it.’ Stef huffed.

Jared raised his eyebrows in surprise, ‘yeah so I understand you’re not happy with how this weekend worked out and I get it, I’m not either.’

‘It’s one thing of many that has me unhappy right now, let’s not lay all the blame on you.’

Jared blew hard through his nose, Stef wasn’t sure if he was mirthless laugh or one of those noises her father would make when he was about to say something sarcastic.

‘They come first, Stef, I’m sorry.’ Jared shook his head, looking down at the floor.

‘I know, Jared.’ Her voice was steady, this conversation had happened more than once, on her side at least. Her son was always more important than any person she dated. A lot of them hated it. 

‘I have my own family, I get it.’ 

He still wasn’t looking at her. Stef moved toward him, their height difference more obvious now that she was barefoot, she just reached his shoulder.

Placing her hands on either side of his face, the stubble scrubbing against her palms as he put on a smile for her. 

‘I don’t like that you’re unhappy, but I can’t do anything about it right now.’

Jared leaned his forehead against hers, still holding himself. 

‘You can make it up to me another time,’ Stef stroked his face gently.

His hazel eyes finally met hers. He was sad. It wasn’t just this. Something else was eating at him.

‘What is it?’

She felt his hands reaching under her blouse, lifting it slightly so he could rest them against her hips. His skin was hot. Always so hot.

‘I wanted a weekend with just you and me, somewhere not hidden away and I think....I think my wife knew that and that’s why she came.’

Stef kissed his dimples, each in turn. She kissed his eyelids and his brow, holding him against her shoulder. They held each other in silence. 

‘If your smell could rub off on me, that would be great.’ Stef placed a kiss on his hairline.

Jared chuckled, ‘I’ll rub off you like a cat, I can leave some hair if you want.’

‘Oh, your hair is already on the sheets. I found one inside the sleeve of my jacket earlier.’

Jared hummed against her neck, kissing down to her collarbone. ‘Are you coming to the Q&A?’

‘I promised I would.’

‘That was before,’ his voice came from her bosom, his nose nudging at her cleavage. 

‘I’m still going. Claire missed lunch so I think I will make her buy the drinks for the night.’

‘You flying back tomorrow with a hangover?’

‘Fuck yes!’ Stef groaned, knowing it was going to be hellish going back home with Claire and no Richard. 

‘Damn, that’s a long flight, that makes me feel worse now I couldn’t spend more time with you.’

‘Ah, I can hang with my friends, don’t worry, I’m a big girl, I don’t need that much entertaining.’ 

Jared sighed, checking his watch. ‘I gotta go before I start getting panicked phone calls from Jensen. See you down there?’

Stef pressed her lips into a tight smile, scrunching her face. ‘I’ll see you but uh, probably not a great idea to be hanging around you!’

Jared, who was half way to kissing her face, paused, peering at her with one eye closed. ‘You’re right. So, kiss me quick.’

Stef obeyed, an open mouth kiss with a flick of tongue before pulling away. 

‘Nuh-uh,’ Jared responded by putting a hand into her hair and holding her; his mouth on hers for a deeper kiss. She knew he hadn’t had his fill but had to detach himself. His phone started to ring. 

‘Fuck me, leave me alone for five minutes.’ 

Answering the call, he gave Stef a wink, hugging her quick with one arm. 

And just like that he was gone again. 

***

The hall was packed tight. A queue wound its way from the stage all the way down to the back of the room and around the other side. Stef stood next to Claire who was craning her neck constantly to get a view of Richard on stage. There was no use in telling her to stop, Stef knew she wouldn’t. 

Everyone on stage was in great spirits, livening up the crowd easily. Some dancing, some singing. Then the questions came, Jensen as usual, played a serious version of himself, mostly to make Jared look like more of a goof than he already was. 

It was the first time Stef got to see him as the adored person he was, his personality really was perfect for it. Throwing his legs over the back of the chair, his hands running through his hair every few minutes.

Jared chewed his gum with his mouth open, Stef remembered telling Darius not to do that; her mother would yell at her for doing it. 

‘Can you believe I’m fucking that guy,’ Stef whispered to Claire.

Claire bit her lip, looking from Jared to Stef. ‘Lucky bitch.’

I am, Stef figured. Massive shoulders, strong arms, abs you could wash your clothes on, a cute ass and dimples? Not to mention a great sense of humor, Stef could never resist a guy who could make her laugh. 

He was an impressive totem. And he was entertaining this crowd, screaming like a bunch of girls at a boy band every time they did, well, anything!

Stef made a note to try watch all of Supernatural, it was a show she had dipped in and out of through the years. She was terrible at keeping up with tv, making an exception for anything Oscar was in. Sometimes when Darius was younger, they would curl up on the sofa and watch him with bowls of popcorn, ready to call Oscar and rate his performance, a call Oscar said he always looked forward to. 

Somehow, she thought, Jared may not feel the same way about that situation. 

After the screams and laughter died down, a girl stepped up to the microphone.

‘My question is for Jared. Since starring in a music video, do you think you’ll do it again? Coz it was so sexy.’

Jared put a hand to his brow, Jensen was looking at his friend, doing his best to stifle a laugh.

Eventually Jared put the microphone to his mouth, ’No!’

‘Why not?!’ The girl squeaked.

‘Because that was special!’ Jared swung around in his chair, doing a 360 turn. Jensen continued looking at him, no expression on his face, microphone poised to say something. 

‘Aww c’mon,’ the girl teased. 

Stef could feel the heat rising in her cheeks, Claire was giggling next to her. 

‘It was fun and yeah, I dig the music. But if I do it all the time, it won’t be special anymore.’

There was a wave of disappointed noises from the crowd. 

‘They’re hungry for you, buddy.’ Jensen’s voice rippled across the room, followed by loud cheers.

Stef wished she could slip out of the room, unseen. But if she were noticed now, it would be awkward. So she sat still. At least Claire was here. 

Claire seemed to feel her friends discomfort, sliding a hand into hers, she held on tight, not taking her eyes off stage. 

Richard was at the side of the stage chatting a little to someone next to him, laughing at Jensen who was now making fun of Jared. 

Jared was sweating more than usual, Stef could see it glistening on his neck. He was shaking his head, hair falling into his face. 

‘Two videos wasn’t enough for you guys?’ Jared held his hands up.

The answer was predictable. ‘Ok, ok. I can ask to be in another one. But you guys have to be nice, maybe it’ll happen.’ 

After the cacophony of excited noises died down, more questions were asked. Then the hour was up. 

Claire was scrolling through her messages. 

‘Hey,’ she whispered, ‘Rich just text me, he says he has a pass for you to go backstage.’

‘Isn’t his wife backstage?’ Stef huffed.

Claire shrugged, ‘Jared says he has a few minutes spare and he wants to show you something.’

’What the fuck does he want to show me?’

‘I don’t know, bitch. Rich says go see him at the side door.’

‘When?’

‘Now!’ Claire waved her away, replying to Rich’s wall of text.

‘There she is.’ Rich waited until Stef was close enough to pass a lanyard to her. ‘Keep hold of that and follow me.’

Stef stayed behind him, walking through a hallway, past closed doors. Finally, stopping by a room that had chairs piled up outside. ‘Wait in there.’

Rich closed the door behind her, there wasn’t much in this room. It looked like storage for just about everything they had forgotten about. Stef for a moment thought this was a trick and that Jared was going to jump out and frighten her.

A door opened on the far side of the room and Jared stuck his head in. ‘Hey,’ he whispered.

‘Hey, yourself. What’s with the cloak and dagger?’

Jared turned and looked behind his shoulder, quickly moving into the room and closing the door softly.

‘C’mere,’ raising to fingers at her, curling them in beckoning motion. 

‘Why are we whispering?’

‘Coz my family are in the next room, but I needed to see you.’

His thumb landed on her jaw as she made it across the room to him. ‘I knew they would ask about you but it still got me feelin’ like a kid, I was a little embarrassed.’

‘I got that,’ Stef gave him a half smile. 

Jared ducked his head and kissed her softly. ‘What’s up?’ 

‘Sneaking around.’ She said simply.

‘I know, it’s not ideal, but I’ll take what I can get.’ Grabbing her waist he pulled her closer to him. Smothering her mouth with kisses, she hardly had time to draw breath before he was dipping in for more, holding her face tight in his hands.

He was groping down her her ass, cupping her flesh under her skirt, closing the distance between them. ‘Do you want to do this here?’ Stef gasped. 

He answered by turning her around, twirling her hair in his hand and moving it over her shoulder. Running his mouth along the exposed flesh of her neck.

Feeling Jared press against her, she leaned into him. He was breathing her in, smelling her hair, her skin. Causing her to tingle all over. 

‘What are you doing?’ she murmured, wishing he wouldn’t stop but aware that there were people in the next room. If someone were to come out and see them...

‘Shhhh,’ Jared brought a large hand to her mouth, keeping it there as he pushed her further into the corner, it was darker there at least, a little out of the way of the door. 

‘Do you want me to take you right here?’ He whispered, taking her ear gently between his teeth. The sensation weakened her, he felt her losing control, regaining it almost straight away, worried they would be caught.

The way Jared was feeling right now, it would be over quick. 

‘Jared, don’t.’ Stef whispered, placing her hands against the wall to steady herself, all the while bucking her hips back to grind her ass into his crotch.

‘Don’t?’ He teased, ‘coz your body is telling me you want it. You want me to fuck you right now?’ His hands ran down the front of her blouse, slipping his fingers inside her bra, pinching her nipples until she cried out, Jared put a hand over her mouth, a little rougher this time. ‘I won’t tell you again, keep it down.’ He warned. 

Stef could feel her wetness moving down to her thighs now. The feel of his hands on her, forcing her to do what he wanted, it made her so hot. 

Jared took his hands from her breasts, giving the nipples final hard tug before bringing his hand to her skirt, lifting it and pulling her panties down past her ass cheeks, just enough room for him to slip his hands between her legs to her sex. Dipping his fingers in to feel how wet she was, he licked his fingers, moaning softly. ‘I wish we had time to do more, baby. Maybe later,’ he pulled her head back so it was resting on his chest. ‘Stick your ass out for me a little more,’ he commanded, his voice barely above a whisper. But she read his tone, he was not to be disobeyed.

Putting his hands between her legs again he pushed at her thighs, ‘Open.’

‘Open!’ he said through gritted teeth when she didn’t immediately move her legs apart for him.

Stef heard the clink of his belt before feeling the heat of him. He was pushing into her already. The feel of him filling her up without warning made her groan, nipping as his fingers. 

‘You feel amazing, baby.’ He bit at her neck, trying to hold back his own wanton moans. 

Keeping one hand on the wall for support, Stef brought her hand to her pussy, placing a finger on either side of his cock as he rutted into her. She managed to brush against his balls, which made him thrust harder. Both of them trying not to make a sound. 

‘Stop it,’ Jared said, but made no move to push her hand away, he let her continue to touch herself. 

There was movement from the other room, running footsteps nearing the door before a voice called them back. 

Jared pushed Stef up so she was crushed against the wall with no room to move. With her head still resting on his chest, he could look down at her and see her eyes fluttering, a sure sign she was close. 

‘You want to cum, baby?’

Stef muttered something he couldn’t hear, so he grabbed her ass and dug his fingers into the flesh, knowing she loved the feeling of it. 

‘You can’t make a sound, do you hear me? If I let you cum, you’ll have to be real quiet.’ 

Stef looked up at him as tears were beginning to fill up her eyes from the brutal thrusts he was laying into her. She could have come several times over but she was too afraid someone would hear her. If he touched her clit, she’d be done. 

But he didn’t. Instead he bit down onto her neck, hard. She cried out with the pain and bit into his hand, without thinking. Jared cursed and pulled his hand away from her face, grabbing her ponytail. Clenching her teeth, she came. He watched her face scrunch up and relax, her mouth slack and falling into an o shape. 

Placing a hand against her neck, he continued pounding into her, loving the feeling of her clenching around his cock. 

He followed close behind, there was no possibility of him pulling out, the orgasm was too intense. Pushing his hips right up against her ass, he stopped moving. One hand on her throat, the other on her ass, he tried to steady his breathing, she was gasping for air along with him. 

There were voices coming towards them. Jared pulled out and pushed her skirt down, quickly redoing his buttons and belt. 

Cheeks flushed and breathing hard, they both stood to wait for the voices to pass them.

Jared sighed with relief and checked Stef, giving her a look that asked if she was ok. He could see she was shaking a little bit.

‘Sit down,’ he pulled a chair towards her. 

‘Fuck,’ Stef tried to fix her hair a little. ‘Do I look ok?’

‘You look beautiful.’ Jared smiled at her, running his hands along her thighs. 

‘Do I?’ Stef began fixing her blouse, finding that her nipple was still freed from her bra. 

‘You look like a woman who just got fucked the way she likes it.’ Jared stilled her hands. ‘Stop fixing yourself, you’re perfect.’ 

‘I need a bathroom.’ Stef sat back into the chair, motioning towards her ruined panties.

Jared grimaced, ‘Sorry.’

‘It’s ok, it was hot.’ Stef crushed his face playfully with one hand and placed a kiss on his mouth. 

When she left the room, she heard children running across the floor towards him.

‘Daddy, where you been?’ 

Stef giggled, hearing Jared grumbling an excuse, he had gotten stuck into something and had lost track of time.

[fandom]

Con season is here! Whether it’s your first or twenty-first, small-scale or SDCC-massive, we hope your con experiences are spectacular. To help get you through it, we’re speaking with con-goers from all different places to share their top five con essentials. To see the whole series, check out the tag #What’s In My Bag.

Tasha a.k.a. Princess Helicopter: Cosplayer

Tasha (@princesshelicopter) is a Californian cosplayer, engineering student, and general pop culture fanatic. This year will be her sixth time attending (and cosplaying) at the con. As a fan of film, comics, games, and awesome costume builds, she feels right at home at Comic-Con and loves to bring her A-game every year with a new cosplay. Here is what she cannot leave home without:

Costume tool kit: Usually consisting of tape, glue, scissors, and anything else I might need to fix my costume in a pinch in case something falls apart (which it always does).

Water: An absolute MUST if you’re spending a whole day on your feet in a hot, crowded venue.

Lots of snacks: Convention food is expensive, and food truck lines can take hours to get through, so bringing my own lunch has always helped me save time and money at cons!

Makeup: I’m lucky if half my face of makeup hasn’t melted off after a couple of hours at the convention, so I always make sure I’m ready to reapply.

Friends: Technically, these won’t fit inside a bag but are most important for an enjoyable con-experience (particularly when they hold your bag if you’re wearing an uncomfortable costume like I usually am)!

Tasha, thank you so much for sharing your con must-haves with us! If you’re attending SDCC, you can find her wandering around the exhibit hall, hopefully going to a few panels, and taking lots and lots of photos!

[cozycosplaycorner]

5 Reasons to attend Conventions

Nerd hubs. Anime Conferences. Conventions. Almost everyone in the anime & cosplay community has either heard of or attended one

ALMOST everyone

There can be many reasons to why you or your friends haven't attended a con. Maybe you suffer from bad anxiety, perhaps school or work is taking up all your time or you possibly just don’t have the money for a ticket, let alone transport and accommodation. These reasons are totally fair, don’t get me wrong!

BUT

If you’re considering attending a convention, and you need just the last bit of convincing, I’m here to persuade you into joining the gang of con-goers. Whether or not you’re a cosplayer, there’s always something fun to do at a con. I’m personally a HUGE fan of attending cons, and I would totally recommend it to anyone having doubts or concerns.

ANYWAYS! Here are 5 reasons why you should attend conventions!

1. Make new friends

Stumbling across a fellow cosplayer or fan of a certain series is for some a short and nice encounter - but for others, it can form (life long) friendships/ relationships. Even if it’s a simple discussion about your favorite BNHA ship or a compliment about your wig, but that small conversation can lead to so much more! Maybe you decide to hit Artist Alley together, maybe film some tiktoks together, even exchange instagram and facebook profiles! The people you meet at cons could turn out to be a friend for life!

Bonus: If you live far away from each other and aren’t able to meet physically, attending the same particular con as well as other cons can become a great ritual to stay in contact!

2. Attend events

Who doesn’t love a fun quiz or game? At conventions there are TONS of different activities to attend. Need to show off your overpowered Harry Potter knowledge? There’s a quiz for it! Wanna show off your dance skills? Hit the Just Dance booth in the came room! Wanna meet other cosplayers from your favorite fandom? Attend a meetup! The possibilities are ENDLESS and you will NEVER be bored!

Bonus: Remember what I said about friends earlier? Events are GREAT places to both meet and spend time with your fellow con-going friends!

3. Experience a cosplay show LIVE

We have all seen seen acts or performances from a convention masquerade. Fun skits you can watch over and over on the internet. But lemme tell ya: it ain’t nothing like watching it IRL. It is a whole other experience than watching an act through a small screen (obviously). The lights, the music, the acting, the whole atmosphere is INCREDIBLE. One CANNOT attend a con, without watching the cosplay show. No. Just, no.

Bonus: If you’re lucky, you can even get the possibility to talk to some of the contestants, which can be super fun (and helpful, if you plan on participating yourself)

4. Go on photoshoots

This one mostly applies to cosplayers FYI

Most conventions have some cool locations that you don’t typically come across in your everyday life. Perhaps the con is near a forrest, in a hotel with lounges or around high tech looking stuff. There are photographers everywhere willing to take photos, so why not grab the chance of bedazzling your instagram page?

Bonus: There are almost always other cosplayers from the same franchise, so they could also join for some extra cool photos! Both new and old friends ;)

5. Buy cool stuff

This one is kinds self-explanatory, but I had to include it anyway. The marketplace at cons are huge, and you have to skip the whole “waiting for your etsy order to arrive” process. If you’re lucky, some of your favorite artists may attend the con as well. Dealers’ hall and Artist alley are FILLED with all kinds of merchandise, posters, art, live commissions etc. It’s great!

Bonus: Not having to wait 4+ weeks for your merch or art is just pretty nice

Welp! I hope my convincing job has been somewhat successful! Hope to see you at a con soon ;)

- Joshi

[thessalian]

Thess vs Convention Guides

So while I’m still obsessively checking the MCM Comic Con website waiting with bated breath for the Critical Role cast autograph slots to go on sale, I am also remembering that I invited my mother to go along with me on the Friday - the quietest day, theoretically (also the day that the Critical Role cast isn’t going to be there, so even less likely to be insane than Sunday). I feel this desperate need to send her an email full of warnings, so I am making my list now, in advance, so I don’t forget anything.

THESS’ GUIDE TO MCM COMIC CON

Dress code note the first - it will be May. It will be hot in there. Breathable fabrics only. And if you must wear a jacket, make sure it’s one you don’t mind lugging around all day.

Dress code note the second - find your comfiest shoes ... then take them to a shoe store and find comfier shoes even than those. Arch support, cushioned soles, everything that could make a pair of shoes comfier, make sure your shoes have those. Otherwise, prepare to have to spend the weekend soaking your feet in Epsom salts.

Bring only one bag, and make sure it’s not overly full. Someone will be searching it every time you enter the premises so make life easy for them and for you, and everyone in the queue behind you, by preparing for entry like you would for getting through airport security.

If you even think that you might conceivably want to buy anything at any point, bring cash, because the queues for the cashpoints in the convention hall will be insane. Also, make sure it’s not all in large bills. Not all of the booths take cards at all and those that don’t will be having a hard time making change for twenties, so try to have the means to provide exact change. (Side note for my mother in particular - it is highly unlikely that anyone will take American Express.)

On convention hall food: don’t bother. It is expensive for what it is, of dubious quality, and anything more complicated than something crammed between two slices of bread will be hard to eat unless you’re lucky enough to find a table. There is a wine bar down the block. If you want food, go there. (Yes, I checked out this wine bar just for you because I know you’re fussy about fast food and I am boycotting Wetherspoons right now.)

There will be a great deal of merchandise depicting big-breasted cartoon women and panty shots. That is not my part of this world. That is ... not something I am explaining to my mother but leave us simply say it’s largely for men with more money and libido than sense, or something women have to put up with for the good bits. We’re trying to discourage that, okay?

There will be cosplayers - people dressed up as characters. You will not know who very many of them are dressed as, but don’t feel bad; I will not know them all either. However, if you do see someone dressed as a character you recognise and want their picture, they will probably be happy to oblige if you ask politely. In fact, they will be thrilled that you think that their cosplay is good enough to want pictures of.

There will be people carrying signs that read “Free Hugs”. Approach at your own risk.

Unlike the stories I hear about conventions in the US, I have never come across any con-goers with poor personal hygiene. Honestly, I’ve smelled worse from businessmen on the Tube. So don’t worry; you won’t need a gas mask.

Do not become a barnacle. By which I mean - I know that there are some really cool things out there and the people manning the stalls are friendly, but there are people other than you who want to see things and talk to the people who made all the things, and maybe buy things, so give them a chance and keep moving rather than co-opting the prime position in front of any stall for longer than five minutes at a stretch.

If you need to pause for any reason - to look at a map, to take a photo, to check your bag for something, any reason - find a spot out of the main flow of traffic. Nothing annoys people more than people blocking traffic when they’re already trying to find their way around places. Don’t annoy people with the big replica weapons.

Despite the priority access, we will be arriving late. Why? Because I don’t think you want to be waiting for over an hour in a queue at 9am on a Friday, that’s why. Also, neither of us want to be sharing public transport traffic with both rush hour commuters and convention attendees.

If we get separated, avoid the Meeting Point; it will be crammed. Instead, step out into the corridor, look at the nearest sign by an entryway, and text me the letter (N or S) and the number (1-8) of that sign. Then go stand under it and do not move. I will find you. That is part of what those signs are for.

If you do not go home with at least a T-shirt, I will be disappointed.

I’m sure I’ll think of more things, but that’s my basics.