#luckily my friends at this work know a lot about the other workplace too

[kirishwima]

god i love my work friends. SO MUCH

[afyrian]

line four - sampling desserts together m.list

    a large sign rests over the entrance of your local restaurant and bar, trellis tavern. backlighting illuminating the lettering. looking through the front doors, you don't see sakusa in sight. for a second, you look back at the parking lot your car is sitting in, wondering if this was a terrible idea. you barely know him, unsure of how he comes across outside of the workplace.

  and yet there'll always be that part of you that knows that the only way to save your show, is to get to know him better, break his walls. your tongue runs along your teeth, hand stuffed in your pocket while the other absentmindedly flips on and off the ringer of your phone. leaning towards the doors once more, you still don't see him.

  "sorry, parking was-" someone starts to say behind you, causing you to jump in your spot, pushing against the restaurant's outer wall, "horrendous..."

  turning around, you see sakusa standing there, his hands resting at his sides. your eyes are wide as your heart beats quickly in your chest, ringing forming in your ears. "you can't just- oh my god, you scared the living shit out of me," one of your hands comes up to your forehead, fingers running along your hairline.

  "sorry, was just trying to find parking," sakusa purses his lips, looking towards the restaurant, "we should probably see how long the wait is."

  assuming you'd follow him inside, he walks in briskly, his attitude to the point. narrowing your eyes, you wonder if he's this back and forth with everyone new or just you. especially after seeing him joke with atsumu in the break room. pushing open the restaurant's doors, you make your way in, listening to the soft music playing over the speakers. 

  there's a few people in front of him, leaving the two of you stand in silence. your gaze makes its way to him more than once, noticing little details about him and his appearance. like the beauty marks by his eyebrow and his hair that curls into a perfect pile above his head. or how he likes to look at certain things in the restaurant, the art, the people.

  he's quick to step up to the hostess, leaving space for you to join him, "we were wondering if you have any space for around twenty people tonight?"

  the hostess clears her throat upon hearing the request, her hands resting on the podium. "luckily for you, we have the event space that you could rent for a couple hours. the only issue is that we have an event going on currently that ends in around thirty minutes. if you could wait, we can send your phone a message and get you over here," her eyebrows raise as she realizes that they have the space available, knowing that they like to book a couple months out.

  writing down his number, you sway back and forth on the balls of your feet. "thank you..." sakusa nods, turning around to look at you, lips pursed, "and thank you for your good luck."

  "anytime," you wink, the action coming from a deep subconscious voice within, looking away from him, your nose scrunches up in disgust.

  "well we can grab a cake or two for the event, osamu has a food critic slash baker working at onigiri miya for the day. although, i think she's going to become more of a regular baker there," he maneuvers his body, walking around another customer waiting to talk to the hostess, a sly smile on his lips. 

  nodding softly, you can feel the excitement building as he starts to talk more. giving you information that only a close friend would be privy to. you can feel yourself smiling, your mouth turned into a soft crescent shape. following him down the street, you start to recognize the area. the pottery shop just a door down from onigiri miya, kiyoko's flower shop not too far away.

  sakusa opens the door for you, letting you enter the pristine restaurant. it's just how you remember it from your times visiting with atsumu. osamu stands by the cashier, the restaurant slowly dying down from what you assume to be a rather busy day with the offering of cake. he's leaning against the counter, talking to someone bringing another cake forward.

  her gaze quickly finds the two of you entering, giving osamu a wave before heading to the back. "so, the cakes seem to be a hit. you guys gonna make it a regular thing.. or?" sakusa crosses his arms in front of his chest, his smile still holding.

  osamu shakes his head, leaning back, "how about i just ask what you guys would like to eat? hi y/n, it's been awhile since i've seen you around here."

  "been ordering a lot online, if you see any getting ordered to the station it's usually me. but we're actually here to get some cake for the station's anniversary, twenty-five years. and we have to wait for the space to finish up," you nod, staring down the few cakes that the woman had brought forward, the decorations looking out of this world. 

  nodding his head, osamu grabs a serving knife, taking a couple slices and resting them on a plate. "take these, try them out, and i'll set aside a few cakes for you guys," he sets down the plate, grabbing a couple forks for the two of you to use.

  not passing on the offer of a free slice of cake, you happily take it. and with the atmosphere that onigiri miya garners, it's easy to be happy sitting in a corner table, looking out the windows. it's starting to get dark outside, the colorful hues in the sky starting to form as the days get shorter. shoving a fork into one of the slices, you take a bite, dwelling in the sweet aroma. 

  "so how'd you meet the miya brothers?"

  "i actually met them in secondary school, played volleyball against them. they were as insufferable as they are now, but as a team they were scary," sakusa takes a bite of the other slice, holding his fork up in the air as his elbow rests on the table, casually, "how'd you meet them?"

  "met atsumu at the station, when he was a writer for one of the fiction audio shows. don't even know how they hired him for a writing position, not with his... creative abilities," you laugh, knowing that writing was never gonna be where he ended up. 

  "when he somehow recommended me for a position there i was actually surprised he wasn't lying the whole time about this show he was gonna be on," sakusa shakes his head, using his fork to grab a piece from your slice.

  narrowing your eyes, you reach your fork down and take a piece from his. tasting it, you realize that this cake would be perfect for the event. and that, hopefully now, sakusa's seeing you as more than just a coworker. but as someone he could go to lunch with, rant about romance or life problems. "yeah i'm not surprised. so, i hope you're enjoying ‘talk it out’ as much as you liked ‘late night rebounds’,” you shrug, trying to come across as nonchalant.

  “yeah, it has been more enjoyable to hear about friends crushing on one another instead of relentless one night stands,” one of his hands scratch the back of his head, taking another bite.

  smiling, you finally feel like you’re breaking through his shell. that the pounding in your heart and ears stems from a new friendship that you’re brewing.

a/n: osamu’s ‘mystery’ friend is y/n from @/lale-txt’s soft launch :D taglist (open): @eggyrocks @causenessus @applepi25 @softpia @bakery-anon

@jadeoru @yessimo @lale-txt @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @sugacor3

@quikhs @todorokiskitten @mollyrolls @honeyfewr @pookiebearcave

@phoenix-eclipses @madiexuberant @kameyyy @cr4yolaas @asrichin

@bakugouswh0r3 @bakingcuriosity @zazathezaer

[cher-rei]

afterglow- pt 7 [ T.A.A ]

pairings: trent alexander arnold x fem!reader

summary: young and aspiring marketing and business major jamie carter is privileged with working alongside the liverpool fc marketing and public relations team, while also getting entangled with their star player and right back, trent alexander arnold.

genre(s): friends to lovers, workplace romance, fluff

[wc: 4.6k] [part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 8] [part 9] [part 10] [part 11] [part 12]

notes: it's the way that I've hinted at another fic in this chapter and then another one in chapter 8... I love interconnecting my series' ughhh

spamjam._. added to their story!

"here's one for you," jude spoke from his position on the hotel suite couch to gain your attention as you unpacked your things. "bro went from liking her posts to flying her over just for some moral support."

you rolled your eyes as he read out the tweets which he had been enjoying for the past ten minutes now. the way that twitter was rioting over the situation was utterly amusing— from your post on Instagram to jude stating that you were sharing a hotel room. they were having a blast by coming up with theories as to how this even came about.

yes, jude only happened to follow you on instragram at the beginning of the year but that was not the reason you knew each other at all. if it were then this situation would be very awkward. as he would say, "luckily for you, you had the privilege of knowing me before I became the equivalent to ryan gosling."

you wouldn't exactly call it a privilege but whatever made him sleep at night. funny enough, you two met at a football match when you were still in high school. it was strange to see a 17-year-old actively engage in conversation with some random 14-year-old just because he said she was screaming too much.

that wasn't the last of your accidental meetings, however, the next was a few weeks later when your parents invited some friends over from birmingham— and lo and behold who just happened to be the son of those friends.

so here you were at 20 and 23, closer than ever but keeping it as low-key as possible.

you proceeded to listen to jude comment on each tweet, each one funnier than the last. "I swear some of these people have got to be fbi trained." he shook his head and you hummed in response, nearly jumping up when jude yelled out in shock.

"listen to this one," he turned from his position on the couch to look at you in front of the bed. "in early 2023, jude followed jamie back on Instagram and 6 months later she got her job as liverpool's p.r manager. hours later after the announcement the entire squad followed her back, the first of them being trent. jamie and trent have been seen together a lot from then on and she's even tagged him in multiple of her Instagram stories. now what do we know about trent? he plays for england. who else plays for england? jude. where is jamie right now? in barcelona with jude."

you were left dumbfounded, jude staring at you with his eyes wide and obviously impressed. "well that's one way to connect the dots I guess." you shrugged your shoulders, "they're not wrong but they're not quite right either."

a scoff left jude's mouth and he got up from the couch to look out the ceiling-to-floor window looking out at the city. "trent's not the middleman here though. like dude you and I aren't dating so there's no need."

he was right, there was no need for a middleman. it was just pure coincidence but obviously people wouldn't think of it like that. "and I thank the lord for that every single day."

he pulled a face, "stop being dramatic. I'm not that bad and you know it."

you hummed out in debate, getting your things so you could go and shower. "I mean judging by your lack of female interaction--"

before you could finish a pillow was hurled straight at you causing you to yelp out, getting ready to days for the bathroom before he could throw another.

"I talk to woman!" he yelled out after you and you laughed a little louder than intended which prompted him to get another pillow.

"female reporters don't count jude!"

you slammed the bathroom door shut just as he threw the pillow again, a loud thud echoing through the room before it dropped to the floor along with jude's hands. he huffed out in frustration, complaining for a good few minutes before he came to a conclusion that made you double over in laughter.

"just for that, I'll be keeping my eye out for interns from now on! if I marry a reporter one day I'll make sure not to invite you just out spite!"

your first morning in barcelona consisted of nothing but peace. the view you woke up to was breathtaking, definitely the most beautiful sunrise you had ever seen. you took your time getting ready before breakfast and made sure to put together the best outfit you could manage seeing as it was rare that you got to wear summer attire.

jude shot you the most confused look to date when he saw your top. he hit you with the "woman stopped wearing corsets decades ago so I'm a bit confused as to why you're torturing yourself right now."

it took a bit to explain to him that you weren't suffering at all, but he still didn't understand and left it at that so the two of you could head to a restaurant for breakfast. every step you took your eye was caught by something more beautiful than the last, your heart strings tugging in the summer heat.

"I've made up my mind. I'm coming to visit you every three months."

jude didn't oppose the idea and instead encouraged it, saying that he needed a bit more company. everything was recorded, you had your phone out and your camera for double the footage, talking to the camera as you carried on with your day.

"do you really have to film everything?" jude asked from across your table at the outdoor seating area of the restaurant as you waited for your breakfast.

you made a sound at the back of your throat and continued to go through the footage you had so far. "unlike you, I have a social media presence and people enjoy the content that I put out okay?"

"uh huh." his eyes wandered over you silently until he was told to check your instagram story, and of course he reposted it being the absolutely amazing friend he was and not because he was in any way forced to do it...

spamjam._. added to their story!

"I don't think anyone understands how crazy it is to hear jude speak in spanish so casually." you turned your camera to look at jude opposite you, adorning an expression of offence.

you suppressed a smile. "this is the same boy who asked me if 'lethargic' was an actual word or if I made it up by the way."

that hit a nerve for him and he put down his fork, and pointed a finger at you while explaining the pointlessness of the word and just how stupid it was. "who uses the word lethargic jamie?" he raised his hands waiting for an answer.

your laugh could be heard behind the camera, obvious judgement in your tone as you teased him. "people who have a vocabulary level that exceeds year 6."

jude shot you an 'oh really look' clearly not buying your reasoning. "just say that you're tired," he grew a bit more defensive and you tried to speak over him but he continued on. "it's never that deep."

you laughed again, telling him that he literally just proved your point. you could feel the stares that you were getting from people passing by— just trying to enjoy their peaceful thursday morning without two idiots arguing about words.

the banter went on for a bit, the camera now set on the edge of the table so that both you and jude were in the frame, tension heightened as you debated. he shrugged his shoulders eventually, "lethargic is not that big of a word either. it's just unnecessary--"

your eyebrows raised, "--oh really?"

he nodded in confirmation, as to say that it was obvious and that he wasn't an idiot. so you did the only correct thing at the moment which brought a wave of nostalgia to wash over jude who couldn't help but laugh.

"spell lethargic then."

he hesitated for a moment, wondering if you were being serious. "go on then, prove me wrong." you urged him, and obviously, he took up the challenge because jude bellingham was not a quitter.

"L I--"

you cut him off with a proud smile, "wrong!"

"L A--"

"wrong!"

by now jude was dumbfounded, immediately reaching out for his cellphone to google the absurd word only to find out that it was spelt with an E. you hummed happily as he complained once again, saying that spelling it with an E didn't make any sense.

"jude victor william bellingham," you began with a smile and he shook his head. "one of real madrid and england's star players at the age of 20 yet he can't spell 'lethargic'."

the rest of the day played out smoothly— sightseeing, shopping till jude's entire backseat was covered in bags, a trip to the beach and using jude as your personal photographer and videographer. now that was what you called a vacation.

the last stop the two of you were going to make would be a small picnic to wrap up the evening seeing as jude would be at practice all-day tomorrow before the match later that evening. either way you wouldn't be alone because jobe would be flying down the morning, so you were more than excited to pick him up at the airport.

your picnic blanket was set down on the grass at a park, and once again the scenery had you gawking. the sunset was to die for, the atmosphere was chirpy yet peaceful and in all honesty if this was your last moment alive you wouldn't have any regrets.

you let out a content sigh, "if this is what being a wag is like then I might have to hit up victoria beckham for some pointers."

jude let out a laugh from beside you, watching silently as you pointed your vlog camera to the sky— moving it from side to side as you took in the scenery.

"I mean you have some good candidates, and you're already in the industry so it's just up to you." he nudged you on the shoulder. "make the move jamie."

a sigh escaped your lips at the fact that he was right. everything was played out in your favour and you needed to use it to your advantage. "I'll dm colwill when we get back to the hotel."

jude doubled over in laughter at your comment but you kept your attention on your camera, settling it down in front of the both of you. "he's younger than you."

you shrugged your shoulders to dismiss his note. "age is just a number or something."

that made you both smile but for two completely different reasons. jude found it funny whereas you were washed with an unfamiliar feeling, your mind flashing back to yours and trent's midnight mcdonald's run when he said the exact same thing.

that remembrance made you keep a mental note to call him later, just to see how things were holding up on that side.

the conversation picked up again when you shut off your camera. and of course, it took the emotional route at the hour of vulnerability. it hopped from family to work to comfortability in your respective situations in a matter of seconds.

it was nice for jude to have this time to talk about stuff like this, you knew he appreciated moments like this where he could express himself more freely without a language barrier or slight anxiety.

when he first left for madrid you remembered the five-hour conversation you had over the phone because he couldn't fall asleep, too unsure and unfamiliar with his surroundings to be able to settle in. with that, you made sure to check up on him daily before bed.

time zones didn't stop you and never would, especially with someone you considered family. jude and jobe were easily younger brothers to you— jude being the irritating younger brother who acted as if he were older than you and jobe being the sweet younger brother that needed constant affection.

you cared for them both dearly, making time to see each other whenever you could when you schedules were free.

"so you found the apartment?" jude asked and popped a grape into his mouth while he listened to you talk about your move out of your sister's house.

maya and noah were moving to london at the beginning of next year, which just so happened to be two months from now. which honestly was a great idea and you were super excited for them, but it was the househunting the was an issue for you because you were so picky.

you weren't too worried about the rent, the main issue was the interior so you took it upon yourself to do some drastic redecorating when you found one. and in four months it was ready, the only thing it was missing was you.

you nodded happily, "I can move in whenever I'm ready."

your answer made jude smile. be knew just how excited you were to finally move into a place of your own because all you'd been doing was saving up. "which is..."

"which is before christmas. and I have a little surprise on the way as well," you retorted in excitement but jude's thoughts immediately went to pregnancy and you could see it on his face, judging by how quickly his eyes dropped to your stomache.

the sun had fully set now, the air beginning to chill but not in a way that had you shivering, but in a way that made you feel relieved. basking in the atmosphere took your mind elsewhere, a glimmer of something in the back of your mind flashing.

your stomach dropped at the memory. one of the many that you've recently.

"we have to go to spain." the glee in your voice bounced off the walls of the bedroom, back to the bed where you and your boyfriend were lying.

he chuckled at your antics and the way that your grip tightened on his torso, his fingers lightly tracing your shoulder. "we'll go anywhere you like baby." he kissed the top of your head.

you looked up at him with doe eyes. "really?"

michael flashed an adoring smile, the same one that showed just how smitten he was for you. you felt a chill run down your spine at the touch of his fingers on your cheeks. "I'd do anything for you."

your throat stung at the memory, something that weighed so heavily on your chest. moments where you two promised to build a family together resurfaced, where you promised to always be there for each other, but this time accompanied by a bitter taste.

you'd accomplished so much these past few months and he wasn't there to witness it like he said he would. there weren't any flowers or handwritten cards with a hug that made you melt. you could still hear his voice sometimes and the way he would speak to you so gently.

at your graduation you could barely enjoy the moment because while being onstage you saw his face in the crowd, an unreadable expression and the words "I'm so proud of you, love" floating aimlessly through the air.

everything he ever said to you was now floating aimlessly through the air.

judebellingham

jobebellingham and 4 245 223 others liked this post

judebellingham had to go back to the hotel like thrice for her to get changed [tagged: spamjam._.]

see all comments below

jobebellingham please never take selfies again

→ spamjam._. agreed

→ judebellingham you're both walking to the stadium I don't care

vinijr ❤️🔥 [liked by judebellingham]

spamjam._.

liked by liverpoolfc and 2 345 234 others

spamjam._. 🌼

see all comments below

jobebellingham it's like you couldn't have waited for me before doing all this 😃

→ spamjam._. we're going to be together all week bro chill 🙄

liverpoolfc jamie come back, the kids miss you 🥲

→ spamjam._. they're lying

trentarnold66 you owe me a mcdonalds run when you get back [liked by spamjam._.]

→ spamjam._. yes sir 🫡

Ibrahimakonate 🙊❤️ [liked by spamjam._.]

curtisjr my gf says you're beautiful 🙄

→ spamjam._. gf?? curtis call me right now istg!!

levicolwill okay supermodel🙄❤️ [liked by spamjam._.]

→ spamjam._. check your dm's

"there's my favourite boy!"

you had your arms spread for a hug as you watched jobe walk up to you with a sheepish smile. you could tell that he was a slight bit embarrassed, but gave in anyway and dropped his bags to embrace you.

he had grown a freakishly large amount since the last time you saw him— towering over you would be an understatement and it took every bit of you not to feel overwhelmed, but how could you when he was so freaken cute??

a shy chuckle came from jobe as you continued to hug him, your arms tightly wrapped around in torso. "you can carry on when we get back to the hotel, people have places to be."

that wasn't good enough of an excuse for you. "they can let me have my moment."

when you got back to the hotel, jude wasn't there as suspected but all your bags were already packed for tomorrow morning's early flight back to madrid. the rest of the day was spent just relaxing in the hotel room and catching up as usual because you didn't want to waste your energy and fall asleep half way into the first half of the match.

"I can't believe I'm about to watch barça and madrid play," jobe commented as he scrolled through his twitter feed.

you two were settled comfortably on the couch set with snacks and the t.v playing as background noise. when you didn't reply he looked up from his phone, only to see you glued to your own with a lopsided smile.

it was unlike you to ignore him, even if it were by accident so it raised some suspicion. he kicked your thigh in an attempt to gain your attention but it didn't work, your fingers typing away at the keyboard for whatever reason. he didn't want to be one of those brothers and take your phone right out of hand and see what had you so interested— that was jude's job.

so instead he resorted to kicking you over and over until you eventually got irritated and yelped out in pain. "jobe my leg," you groaned and began to rub your thigh that he'd been taking hits at.

when you looked at him again his expression had changed, his lips slightly parted in shock. you asked him what the issue was and all he could manage was a scoff of disbelief. there'd only been one other instance where he'd seen you act like this before, and he tried to forget it at most.

"who are you talking to?"

jobe wasn't one to pry and you knew that, and when he did it was out of genuine concern. you cleared your throat awkwardly. "just a friend."

his eyes narrowed at your answer, knowing he caught you. "you don't have friends." in no way did he mean to offend you by saying that, because it was true and as clear as day. he knew you too well, maybe you could hide things from jude for a bit but with jobe it was different because everything came out unintentionally.

a sigh of defeat escaped your mouth and you set your phone down on your lap. "this is a situation my friend is in right now. you're not going to ask any questions okay?"

jobe nodded his head eagerly and sat upright so he could pay more attention. and just like that, you found yourself lost in the explanation and you were sure you nearly namedropped at least thrice but jobe remained attentive and gave his word when needed.

"I mean if they aren't dating then there should be nothing wrong with you--"

you gave jobe a look and he immediately retracted his last word.

"your friend. your friend, not you," he corrected sheepishly and you nodded.

he thought the idea was dumb. you could've just said that you were talking about yourself and he wouldn't have bugged you... that much. "your friend isn't overstepping any boundaries by the sound of it. so she should just go with the flow--"

you couldn't believe that you were taking relationship advice from an 18-year-old right now. this was your lowest. "--whatever happens, happens."

whatever happens, happens.

his advice genuinely seemed to shift some gears in your mind, and you wanted nothing more than to wrap him up in a bear hug. so that's exactly what you did. "have I ever told you how much I love you?"

the question made him stifle a laugh, the boy tightening his grip around your shoulders as you lay on top of him. "I want to say yes but no."

you slapped his arm jokingly. "you're my favourite brother too. but don't tell jude."

"how can I not??"

[fairycosmos]

hi chloe !! i got a new job and today is my first day, my anxiety wont leave me alone. How do u control anxiety in situations like this?? specially cus i think i might have autism and that im not gonna fit in my new job

hi congratulations on the new job!! agh it's the worst.......i've been there a million times and i still don't have a proper solution.......i tend to at least attempt to manage that anxiety by accepting that it is there and not fighting it. i try to get my brain to focus on neutral affirmations "i am going to be awkward and that's okay" "i am allowed to fuck up" "i can be compenetent at my job and ask for help at the same time" "i can't control what anyone thinks of me, i can only control myself" rather than telling myself hyper-positive platitudes that feel kind of fake. even the neutral ones feel fake at first, but locking in on them and just getting on with the day has worked for me in the past. i also allocate myself breaks throughout the day, time to go to the bathroom and just breathe and get myself together. nobody will be expecting much of you on your first day and i promise as long as you are civil and polite with the people you meet then you will be fine. i've had ppl automatically dislike me in workplaces for being neurodivergent too and i've come to realise that there's not much i can do to prevent it bc they're miserable and they're going to do what they can to look for (what they percieve as) weaknesses in others to make themselves feel better. luckily not everyone is like that and i'm sure it'll become apparent who is chill and who isn't with time, and even if you don't end up really vibing with anyone - they're just co-workers at the end of the day. this is something i have to remind myself a lot. their approval doesn't make or break anything and they're not necessarily your friends and that's fine. you'll be alright. if there's a connection you find at work worth exploring, you'll find it naturally - other than that, just don't get involved in co-worker drama and you should have nothing to really worry about. i know it's hard. i've been bullied at work before and now whenever i go somewhere new the fear that it is going to happen again crops up, but at the end of the day i just think as long as i'm getting paid then what fucking ever, you know what i mean? you're clearly capable, which is why you got the job to begin with, and you deserve to have people in your inner circle that deserve to be there, who'll treat you right. not everyone does deserve that, but that's not on you. good luck and i hope it goes really well <3 remember it's ok to ask (what you think are) stupid and ridiculous questions and it's ok to fuck up!! lots of love to ya. mwah <3 x

[mooblesandsoups]

Songs like sunlight

An mcyt battle of the bands au

Some people really like my snowbugs WIP and now I'm using it as an excuse to talk about my au because I like this au. (Btw feel free to ask questions about the au please I'll love to talk more about it)

CW: the entire entertainment industry, implied workplace abuse and talks about disabilities

World building/plot

SLS or The battle of the bands au is a secret life au that takes place in a dystopian world aesthetically based on ideas like cyberpunk and solarpunk.

After all of earth's greenery was almost destroyed as caused by the industrial revolution people turned to music and other arts to not only cope but to separate more from the technology that was destroying the earth.

Centuries later earth us flourishing with greenery (however their water supply is definitely not better) everywhere you walk you see everything from people on scooters to bikes to street artist showcasing their work to anyone who'll listen, of course nothing can be perfect and Companies have used the rising growth of music to its benefit.

The biggest music company in the world is Watchers Inc. A music company that has been booming since the introduction of their latest singer a masked singer only known as X by fans as well as controversies with former members... However this mysterious singer isn't their reason for popularity oh no it's how they choose their next talents.

Every decade Watchers Inc. Hosts a battles of the bands competition, choosing a selection of popular indie artist to compete for a prize, with the winner being offered a spot as a talent for Watchers Inc. Alongside their prize.

This year is particularly special with the introduction.. And reintroduction of some familiar faces now battling to win a grand prize, which band will come out on top? What secrets will be revealed? What kind of relationship will bloom? And which will have their failures and personal lives broadcasted live in front of millions.

Bands

As mentioned previously this au is secret life based as that was what was currently out when I first started this au do of course I enjoyed playing around with dynamics and how they all started theirs bands/careers.

Gem & The Scott's- indie/alternative music (can't explain but think of black sheep by metric. That. Specifically the one in Scott Pilgrim)

Starting off with gem and the Scott's, gem and impulse met each other because of a family friend leading to their eventual friendship. Soon enough gem had an idea, let's male a band. Both gem and impulse had a fascination for music considering it's how they became friends, so it just felt right in gems eyes. However they needed one more member and luckily she knows exactly who to ask.

Next thing Scott knows as he's relaxing at a bar enjoying his break from music when a random ginger woman runs up to him and ask to join her emo band. And he said yes for some reason so I guess it worked.

Mounders- folklore music

The mounders were founded by pearl a few months after her band's contract was terminated by Watchers Inc. So she decided to start fresh and gather some of her friends to set up a proper band.

Due to Pearl's previous success it wasn't too difficult getting back into business with some assistance from her bandmates and suddenly everything is good again.

The Roomies- pop? (Maybe? Like Oliva Rodrigo kinda pop not finalized)

The roomies aren't technically an official band Grian is considered a independence artist by many and switches around bandmates a lot because of his contract with Watchers Inc. However he trusts etho and Cleo the most and preforms with them as much as he can because they treat him like an actual person.

The heart foundation- Jazz (Dont ask me details I don listen to jazz music)

Couple of dudes work at a bar and play jazz music. I don't know what else you want they're just silly guys with a bit of PTSD

Big dogs- rap (because its funny)

Jimmy and Martyn were both in the acting business for awhile which is how they met. Jimmy has been and actor since childhood and Martyn only started during adulthood while doing music on the side. Soon enough Jimmy ends up ranting to Martyn about acting and how he's tired of it after doing it for so long so Martyn asks if he wants to become a musician with him and Jimmy agrees then the big dogs were born.

Scar & Lizzie- Lizzie is pop (but like theater kid pop if that makes sense) and scar is yet to be decided (maybe country?)

Lizzie and Scar are both individual performers both choosen through a popularity vote by the fans and watcher staff.

Extra fun stuff

This was mentioned in the WIP above but Scott is legally blind, however he was not born blind. He basically got the bad genetics in his family and eventually starts going blind over time. Its really not too important to the plot (besides some backstory stuff and self esteem issues) but it's an interesting detail that I'm doing lots of research to get right.

Lizzie and Joel are married in this au! I'm only bringing this up because my friend came up with a funny idea that Lizzie was unarguably the more popular of the two but Joel bragged about his popularity more.

Skizz owns the bar the heart foundation works at the boys typically do seperate performances and performances together while also helping around the bar itself however Skizz is known to hire small bands to preform as well.

The setting SLS takes place in is as mentioned very green but there are spaces around dedicated to paintings and art in general, like cleared up spaces dedicated to graffiti or street artists having their own spot to work.

Almost everyone in this world is a hybrid of sorts, I try to have fun using lesser used hybrid headcanons but some are just a bit basic. Is there lore reasons they're hybrids? No I just think it's cool.

Since this is a secret life au all the winners of the previous games are Grian, Scott and Pearl (they won together), and Martyn. Grian, Scott and Pearl had all taken the offers to join Watchers Inc. But only Grian remains meanwhile Martyn stayed independent and just took his prize and left.

On the topic of the winners it should be mentioned that all the winners do know each other in some way, Grian is cousins with Pearl and therefore knew Scott by association, Pearl and Scott are former band mates but are still close, Martyn and Scott are friends from highschool so pearl knows him by association, Grian met Martyn at a bar an became friends.

And that's all yall getting for now!

[illarian-rambling]

*in the most elegant, immaculate handwriting imaginable*

Dear Elsind,

I saw your column, and am in fact rather in need of advice. I’ve tried asking my good friend Amelia, but she just laughs uproariously every time I do, so I’ve given up on getting a straight answer from her.

I recently got a new coworker at my workplace, and he’s… very attractive, to say the least. His name is Merry, and he’s absolutely lovely. We’ve become fast friends, and I’ll admit I’m developing a bit of a crush on him. Luckily, the place I work is very unbothered by workplace relationships, but I have a lot of other problems.

First of all, I believe I may have mentioned I’m married in front of him. While my husbands wouldn’t mind me seeing him as well, I know a lot of pirates (oh, yes, context: I am a pirate) are very disapproving of polyamory and I don’t know how he’d react. I’m also asexual, and I’m not sure how he’d react to that either, since my people (I’m a siren) are generally stereotyped as seductive and expected to behave in a very certain way.

That being said, I keep feeling like he’s flirting with me. By pirate standards, he’s absolutely not. But he’s consistently started dressing more colourfully and elegantly and going out of his way to ask me what I think of his outfit. He’s also given me a few small trinkets he found at the market. Both of these are significant signifiers of flirting in my culture, and even though I know he couldn’t possibly know my cultural signifiers of flirting, I can’t help but feel like it means something.

Any advice you have would be welcome. If he is flirting with me, I’d love to see where it goes - he’s really a wonderful man (and I’ll admit I might have been dressing up for him a bit too). But if he isn’t interested, I’d hate to make him uncomfortable having to work on the same ship as me every day, especially since I outrank him (I’d never pressure him into anything, and Amelia would kill me if I did, but I can’t be sure he knows that). I’m not certain how best to proceed.

Much thanks,

Malcolm Lee

*In passibly legible cursive, hearts dotting all the I's*

Thanks so much for writing in, Malcolm!

This is a delicate situation you've found yourself in, but also, I think, a great opportunity. You're right - even in such a relaxed environment, coworker relationships can be tough. It gets messy when rank factors in, and if you ever break up, then you're just stuck seeing them everyday anyways.

But things are looking up for you! It would be quite the coincidence if Merry out of nowhere started engaging in siren flirting behaviors (I'm assuming your word for siren is different from mine, as the siren flirting I'm familiar with involves quite a few more human sacrifices). However, if I was a strapping pirate trying to show interest in my siren shipmate, I would read up on how sirens flirt and try to get him to take the hint. It's a really caring thing to do and a total green flag, in my opinion. Of course, yes, it could be a coincidence, but that's the boring answer!

As for the polyamory and asexuality, that's a conversation you're going to have to have up front with him. Make sure, if he is interested in seeing you, that he understands the possible risks involved. Also, definitely introduce him to your husbands. I don't know your exact situation, but all the polycules I've seen work best when every member is on friendly terms with the others. Asexuality is also something to talk about right off the bat. Make sure he's aware of your boundaries, especially when he might assume otherwise due to racial stereotypes. I can relate to you there - changelings are frequently assumed to be promiscuous due to a tendency to wear attractive faces as a social shield and a history of sexual exploitation. In my relationships, though I'm not asexual, I do have some strict boundaries when it comes to intimacy, and I find it best to be clear about these from the get-go. It's a good way to establish trust early on and also to use as a litmus test for your partner's respect for you. If your Merry is truly a worthwhile lover, he'll understand.

Ultimately, I think you should go for it! To me, it seems like he's trying to be subtle, but he's definitely interested in you. Maybe ask him out for a late-night picnic on the deck (I don't know anything about ships) and spill your heart there. I wish you luck, whatever you decide to do!

Ever your friend,

Elsind Cavernsight

(From this ask game)

[strangesthirdeye]

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 6: ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴊᴏᴀɴs ᴍᴇᴇᴛ ʟ/ɴ

Lost In Time And Space Series

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The sound of traffic that is busy with engine vehicles can be heard loudly on the road that is busy with people who need to go to the designated workplace. People who don't have a vehicle walk at a fast pace with their hands carrying briefcases or any kind of work bags. They wear smart and neat clothes for their work. Some of them wear hats, shawls and hijabs. Some of them wear full suits, jackets or uniforms.

Including a young woman with dark blonde hair with the streak of dark brown in her hair. She wears a white coat and a dark shirt inside, black pants and simple shoes that look like sandals. Her right chest adorned her name tag. Maise Joans. Soon to be a Doctor at one of the biggest hospitals in the city. She's still an intern there. With a lot of students who are still trying to finish their internship. Her shoulder carries a zipped tote bag full with fails and all valuables. While her hands are holding her smartphone which has a clear case with a Polaroid in it.

The Polaroid shows two women smiling at each other and one of them is Maisie Joans. The other woman is a version of older Maisie Joans. Her mother. Ophelia Joans. Her one and only family she loves and always will. The only family she has. She lost her father at a young age. She barely remembers her father due to her being so young. The only memories she has are her mother.

She still lives with her mother. Her mother insisted that she doesn't need to live far from her as she doesn't want to be left alone. She is the only child in the family. And so was her mother and father. So they are a small family. Thankfully, her both sides of grandparents are still alive so they don't feel alone and can still have a family relationship. Both sides of grandparents adored Maisie as she is the only granddaughter they have. They don't care if they are blessed with a grandchild. They are happy and spoiled her too much. But not too much to turn her into a spoiler kid. She is still clumsy and humble.

Maisie smiled at the phone screen. Probably one of her mother's jokes she found it quite amusing during massaging. Her fingers typing fast to reply to her mother's message. Sometimes she diverts her attention to the road in front of her so as not to bump into people. The seller who is an old man wearing a blue collared shirt with dark skinned who knows her greetings her with beaming as the seller has known her since childhood. Maisie smiles and responds to the seller's greetings with the same energy. Mr Ahmad. He is the owner of a shawarma store that has been in business for a long time. He has 3 children who are grown up and have successful jobs. One of them being a Doctor where Maisie works. His wife peacefully passed away a few years ago.

"Late for work again there Maisie?" Mr Ahmad asked with his raspy voice. He smiled at the young woman.

"I forgot to set the clock on my phone" Maisie huffed as she stopped at the front counter of Mr Ahmad's shop after being called by him.

"Well, at least your mother woke you up on time" Mr Ahmad replied, his hands busy making orders that Maisie always ordered without being told because he knows Maisie since she was a child.

"Luckily there are 15 minutes before I go to work" Maisie pocketing her phone in her white coat.

"Good for you then, dear" Mr Ahmad put the shawarma that had been wrapped in a paper bag before giving it to Maisie who took it after paying.

"And don't forget to come to my shop tonight. It's the opening anniversary of this shop. Your mother must have forgotten to tell you but if it's about my famous shawarma she never forgets" Mr Ahmad chuckled. "and my children will come tonight to celebrate help me. This place will be full with customers but you and your mother are my regulars. Of course I will save a place for you two. Feel free to bring friends. More people will make it more lively. "

Maisie nodded in understanding. "Of course we will both come. We won't miss your famous shawarma, Mr Ahmad." Maisie grinned. "anyway I have to go, thank you for the food and good day, Mr Ahmad" And Maisie left the shawarma shop.

Maisie's phone makes a notification sound indicating that a new message has been answered. Maisie opened her zippered tote bag and put a paper bag containing shawarma in it and zipped the bag. Hand put in pocket, took out her phone. Maisie smiled when her mother's message appeared on her phone screen.

'Forget to, tell you, tonight we are going to Mr Ahmad's shop for the anniversary night'

'Mom, I know.. Mr Ahmad already told me'

'oh, bless that man. luckily, he reminded you. I almost forgot about tonight but then I remember when I saw discarded shawarma packages in the trash..'

Maisie pursed her lips trying to contain her laugh. She knows her mother is having difficulty to remember things but she is quick to recover her forgetful self when she sees things that remind her of something important. Maisie sometimes helps her mother to remember things so that is very grateful to her mother for having such a helpful daughter. Both mother and daughter rely very much on each other.

'Just to remind, don't forget to take your jacket that has been sewn at Mrs Chatterjee's house, mom' Maisie sends.

'now that you have reminded me.. I will take it now'

Maisie chuckled lowly at her mother's behavior. Eyes still focusing on the phone screen, Maisie did not realize that a woman suddenly appeared in front of her. She collided with the woman in front of her with a little force making both her and the woman take a step back and almost fall. Maisie's phone fell to the ground. Thankfully it was not damaged. Maisie panicked when she recovered herself from the collision. She then looked at the woman who was wearing a long jacket and dark pants. She has H/c and eyes that are E/c. She is slightly taller than her. Only 3 inches from her. She looks young and old at the same time making Maisie think that the woman is middle-aged.

Maisie picked up her phone from the ground and put it in her pocket. Her mouth was constantly apologizing to the woman.

"uh, it's okay.. No need to apologize.. Neither of us got hurt, right?" the woman said, grinning.

"Noo.. It's my fault.. I didn't look ahead while walking and bumped into you. Although neither of us got hurt, it's still my fault that I bumped into you" Maisie said, a little worried.

"No no.. It's okay.. Not your fault too, I'm suddenly in your way. So none of us are guilty in this. Anyway, can I borrow your pen? I don't know, maybe the pen you already have no use anymore?" The woman suddenly asked.

Maisie frowned in confusion before unzipping her tote bag and fished out her pencil case in which she kept her pen and any kind of writing equipment. She then took out a blue pen that had some ink in it. She gave it to the woman without asking any questions.

The woman took it with a cheeky grinned and pocketed it into her long jacket.

"thank you" and then she leave.

Maisie frowned at that. 'did she just steal my unused pen?' Maisie shrugged her shoulders off and ignored the nagging feelings that seemed to tell her that she would meet the woman again before continuing her walk to the hospital that was not far away.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"some of the patients here have been in this hospital for a long time, but with the help of our equipment which is sufficient and sophisticated we can cure the patients here in no time. But only time can tell." The Head hospital said as he led the group of students of which Maisie was one of them into the wards filled with patients from various types of diseases.

Some of the patients there are sitting and being visited by their families and some of them are lying with hospital equipment attached to their bodies. And some of the patients.. alone without being visited by family.

The group of students stopped at the center wards as the head of hospital explained various information about the patient. How to read their pulse and heart and everything related to medicine.

Maisie's mind was elsewhere as her eyes focused on a patient she seemed to have seen before. Her ears did not catch what the head of the hospital said as her eyes only focused on the H/c haired woman who was leaning on the hospital bed that had been adjusted to sit. Her right arm was put in water which was hung on a hanger next to her bed which she seems ignored it as if nothing happened. Instead she seemed devoted to reading a book in her hands. She even wears reading glasses. Although the hospital curtain slightly blocked the woman's face but with a little bit aside, Maisie could see a peek of the woman's face properly.

Even with the glasses she was wearing, Maisie could still recognize that woman she bumped into and borrowed her unused pen.

"Miss Joans?"

Maisie diverted her attention from the woman to the head of the hospital who was staring at her.

"yes?" Maisie replied.

"It's seemed that you didn't focus on what I said.. Why don't you show us how to find severe abdominal pains, Miss Joans?" the head of hospital, Doctor Lockwood raised his eyebrows.

"umm.. " Maisie anxiously looked around.

"Now then, Miss L/n, good morning and how are you today?" Doctor Lockwood stood by Miss L/n's bed after he moved the hospital curtain to the side revealing a woman with H/c hair.

Miss L/n looked up from the book she was reading, glanced at Doctor Lockwood's face with surprise. She smiled at him.

"I'm a little better than the last two days, although, I'm still vomiting and have a stomach ache.. Little bit dizzy though, but today it's a little under control but still..you know.. Blehh" Miss L/n said, taking off her glasses and placing them on her lap along with the book. Now her attention on Doctor Lockwood.

"Good to know that it's not like two days ago.. Miss L/n got admitted to this hospital two days ago due to severe abdominal pains and dizziness.. Now Miss Joans, why don't you find it? Please.." Doctor Lockwood ordered.

Maisie gulped nervously and moved forward to Miss L/n's side. She knows this woman from before. She looks amd bumped into her. She looked healthy earlier now she is here, sick and in bed.

"well, it's not very clever running outside with severe abdominal pain and dizziness, right.. Not to mention that you stole my unused pen which I don't care about it" Maisie said as soon as she was at Miss L/n's side.

Miss L/n frowned. "sorry?"

"On the street near Mr Ahmad Shawarma shop, I bumped into you and you said that we both did nothing wrong and then suddenly you borrowed my pen and just.. walked away" Maisie took a stethoscope linked to her neck.

"really.. why did I do that for?" Miss L/n narrowed her eyes.

"I don't know.. you did it" Maisie said.

"Then it's not me.. I've been here since the last two days, now it's 3 days if you count today. Besides, I can't run around outside with my stomach that hurts and dizziness, can I? I'll vomit every minute, you know.. You can ask the nurses if you don't believe me" Miss L/n reasoned with a frown. Not the kind of frowned that seems angry but puzzled.

"that's a bit odd.. because it looks like you.. do you have a twin?" Maisie stared at Miss L/n for a moment.

"nope.. No twins.. Just me!" Miss L/n grinned sweetly.

"You said you got admitted 2 days ago, how come I never saw you?" Maisie narrowed her eyes.

"I'm always here unless I go to the toilet which is well.. Diarrhea.. Or you've never entered this ward. I don't have energy to move around, you see.." Miss L/n replied, smiled reassuringly.

"good point.. " Maisie dropped the topic.

"I trust you have no problem finding it?" Doctor Lockwood suddenly at her side after he assisted another student.

"ergh... no.. right.." Maisie wears a stethoscope in both her ears. She moved the end of the stethoscope towards Miss L/n's left chest, looking for a heartbeat.

Ba-boom-ba-boom-ba-boom. That's what Maisie heard but then she frowned, puzzled. There's an echo in other side of chest. Maisie glanced at Miss L/n's face in puzzlement. Miss L/n only smiled widely at her.

Maisie moved the stethoscope to Miss L/n's right chest. Ba-boom-ba-boom-ba-boom. A second heartbeat was heard under Maisie Joans' stethoscope.

'her heartbeat is full of samba there' Maisie thought, amazed at what she discovered. Maisie stared at Miss L/n's face, lost for words. Miss L/n giving her smallest wink.

"are you having trouble finding a heartbeat, Miss Joans?" Doctor Lockwood said, hands in his white coat pockets. Eyes narrowed towards her.

"ergh.. no, Doctor.. everything good" Maisie shifted her eyes to Doctor Lockwood.

"Then what do you discover, Miss Joans?" Doctor Lockwood taunts her.

"ergh.. Stomach cramps?" Maisie replied, nervously.

"That's a symptom, Miss Joans, not a diagnosis and you rather failed basic

techniques by not consulting first with the patient's chart" Doctor Lockwood took the patient's chart on the table at the end of Miss L/n's bed. "ahh, food poisoning and slight migraine, That's what the diagnosis is called, Miss Joans"

Maisie looked down in shame not noticing that Miss L/n looked sympathetically at her. Now Maisie feels that she will never pass these exams. She will not be called Doctor Joans.

"Uh, Doctor Lockwood.. Can you tell us more about the blood donation day that will be held tomorrow?" One of the students suddenly asked after he finished checking the patient. Which is high fever.

Doctor Lockwood looked at the male student with sudden interest. "ah yes, of course. As you may know, tomorrow is blood donation day for our hospital. We need more blood because we lack blood supply these days. And this is the best way for us to increase the blood supply so that more lives can be saved So tomorrow I want some of you to bring the blood donors to the blood donation tent set up for them. You're going to treat them kindly and relax so they don't feel anxious during blood donation" Doctor Lockwood explained with a newfound pride. He grinned, weirdly. "We just need fresh blood that is healthy for our patients who need it"

Maisie looked at him strangely. 'blood donation day? I don't even know about that'

"That's good isn't it, letting people donate their blood to save the lives of those in need" Miss L/n said, grinning.

"yes, indeed. With this blood supply we have, we can use it for tests and save lives." Doctor Lockwood smiled showing his teeth. His hands are still in the pocket of his white coat.

"Now, how about we go somewhere else? I'll show you to the operating room." Doctor Lockwood suggested to the students.

Maisie nodded her head. She looked at Miss L/n for a moment. Her mind is still puzzled by what she heard just now. Two heartbeats on the left and right of Miss L/n's chest. Both beat in unison. Maisie finally moved her legs to walked away from there but then she bumped into one of the nurses who was wearing a face mask by accident.

"Sorry, so sorry.. I didn't mean to bump into you" Maisie apologized several times but the nurse just kept quiet and looked at her blankly before she turned and left.

Behind the nurse, a patient followed the nurse anxiously. Probably to check up? Maisie shook off that suspicious feeling. Why do you want to check on patients privately? why not in their bed? but then again, Maisie is just a student who wants to pass this exam to be called Doctor.

She looked at Miss L/n for the last time. Miss L/n seemed to continue reading her book. Glasses perched on her bridge of nose. She seemed devoted to reading her book. As if Miss L/n could feel eyes watching her, she shifted her gaze to Maisie. Miss L/n sent her a cheeky smile. Maisie returned her smile and followed the other students out of the ward to go to another destination.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

This chapter based on Jones and Smith episode from Doctor Who with additions and storyline changes from me.

-Dhani

[jonghyuns-husband]

(CW // Dec 18th, suicide, victims of harassment, violence, mental health talk)

Since I want to spread this hashtag more, I would like to talk about the Shawols that I lost over the years and bring their voices up.

Clem was a friend I met on Wattpad back in 2015 when I was 11 and she was 14. She was one of the closest and the first online friend I’ve ever had. She loved to make SHINee stories for fun and she also helped me to write better. She was an amazing writer who took great passion for her work as well as her being a big advocate for the LGBTQ+ community according to her sister who came out as lesbian a year before we met.

Unfortunately, Clem was bullied at her college and her workplace, including on her online accounts. This would occur about 1-2 month after the death has been announced. On the 15th of December 2018, 3 days after Jonghyun’s first anniversary, she couldn’t take it anymore and took her own life. She was 17.

Sam was a girl in the secondary school who was 2 years older than me. I remembered talking to her once and that was it. She also really loved Jonghyun and Onew and was a BIG fan of the group.

One day, she stopped coming to class. There was a rumour going around saying that Sam took her own life after being hate bombed for posting about Jonghyun positively to cope with the pain. The last time she was in class, a guy mentioned his passing without warning which triggered the girl to stand up and leave. Ever since then, she was never seen again. The guy thought that it was his fault, but it turned out that she was going through a lot recently and couldn’t take it anymore. If it was true, then she died on the 9th of January 2018 aged 16 years old.

Ayami was a close friend of mine since Year 1. Interesting fact, she was actually born in Japan and then came to the UK when she was only 4. That summer, she enrolled in my school where we met on the first day. She didn’t speak much English, but luckily I knew a bit of Japanese so we were able to have a connection together. She was a sweet girl that would look out of anyone who looked like that needed help. She even loved to cook and wanted to start her own sweet shop one day where she would make sweet treats such as cakes, cupcakes, brownies, cookies, etc. Fun fact, my blog @yutassweetshop is actually based on her childhood dream and yes NCT bias was also Yuta! It’s a sweet (no pun intended) tribute to the one I called noona, and yes I’ll never stop calling her that until the day I die. Never mind, she’ll still be my noona anyways.

Although yes she had been harassed around his passing when we went to school together, there were other stuff in her life that really pulled the trigger on her head. I could make a separate post talking about Ayami and what she had went through so you would know, but to keep it simple, her father did some horrible things to her as a kid that when she found out, she took her own life out of fear. She was 14.

The reason why I mentioned her was the fact that Jonghyun’s passing was one of the chain of events she had to go through in her life, and you never truly know what someone has gone through already. Even though she didn’t die over it, that still doesn’t make it ok regardless. It’s still an awful thing to do to someone who is grieving by acting like they are complete strangers and treating them like they had never once seen the man before.

Those 3 girls didn’t took their lives because they were obsessive fans, they died because they were HARASSED to suicide. I know a friend’s friend who was also a blinger that took her own life and her family thought it was because she was sad over the passing of Jonghyun. That wasn’t what happened. She was beaten up at school and was told to kill herself ever since she came back from the Christmas holidays. She ended up doing so in her room and she was so close to celebrating her 16th birthday. It was the same as Jonghyun’s. She took her own life 2 days before at age 15.

There were some people in my cousins’ lives that killed themselves too, but I don’t know them very much, but all of them will be missed. Any Shawols that I’ve missed, please leave their names below and tell me one thing you loved about them. You can even talk about their favourite song or albums.

This tormenting K-Pop fans thing needs to stop. I don’t care if you think teenage girls screaming about their BTS biases are cringe, this needs to end. It’s not funny anymore and it’s claiming lives. I could of lost my friend that I met last year just because of the dumb messages of them saying that he was disrespecting a “deadman.” It just seems so tone deaf that really, they’re actually doing the disrespecting and not him.

This is already a difficult month for all of us and I just beg, PLEASE DO NOT HARASS ANY SHAWOLS. Not just in this month where it’s his anniversary, but WHOLE FUCKING YEAR. Please treat us like human beings and stop making us change for someone who barely even knows about the guy until the news broke and now you want to be the fucking hero when you’re not.

Why don’t you do all of us a favour and just fuck off. I’m sure most of us would want that now. This is why some Shawols like me haven’t yet stopped grieving because of how badly people treated us over the years. It has been 5 years, instead of telling us to “let him rest in peace”, how about you let us “grief in peace.”

It’s like what they say, “don’t give his family condolences if you aren’t going to respect his fans.”

Never mind, I did.

Rest in peace to Clem, Sam, Ayami and everyone else who took their lives due to these kinds of people either in real life or online. Rest in peace to the main guy himself, Kim Jonghyun. Thank you so much for taking care of those lost souls for us. Trust me, this was never your fault. Don’t ever blame yourself for any of this. Disgusting pricks like them (the people who harasses Shawols) has always existed since the beginning of time.

Please don’t cry because of the Shawols that went your route but be happy since you made their dreams come true. 

[vegaseatsass]

GAP the Series ep 5 thoughts (spoilers!!)

WANNA SUCK MOUTH !!!

Gonna rush through this post b/c we watched late and I gotta go to bed, but it's still VERY important to me to journal my way through this show, because, wow wow wow WOW, this show, dude.

Wanna suck mouth!!!

Wanna suck mouth.

Seriously though. The mouths, the lips, the lip-biting, the pen-biting, the teeth, the lipssss, the queer lady gaze of it all. Hottest first kiss I've seen maybe ever??, while simultaneously the most joyful and character-specific. Extremely good stuff.

But besides the absolute sexy excellence of all things Lips in the episode, the crux of this week for me was Mon's demand that Sam be direct, stop giving her a headache from trying to interpret all her opaque Sam-isms... and Sam demanding the same thing of Mon. Both because 1) I love the acknowledgment that graceful social butterfly Mon is probably just as confounding to Sam as vice versa - they communicate differently, not unevenly, and there's a point about neurotypical vs. neuroatypical communication to be made here, but basically it's not that either of them isn't trying, with all her smitten might, to understand and make herself understood AND 2) we got so many clear-cut examples throughout the episode of Sam doing the absolute most to be direct, before Mon ever requested it of her. "Some married man 😤 was flirting by sending you stickers? I sent you stickers!!!" "What is your favorite facial feature of mine? Jsyk my favorite of yours is LIPS. Can I BITE THEM." Lol she was pulling out all the stops!! I just feel like for the first time we really see the layer of the relationship where Sam is trying to express her feelings for Mon, trying to shout them from the rooftops even, but she's not being heard, and it isn't solely because she's repressed and socially awkward but because you put "I, your vaunted idol, want to fuck nasty" in Mon's face and Mon will find an "innocent" explanation to hear instead. Idk it's prob too late at night for me to express this well but I just think this show does a lot of really neat nuance work, while remaining impossibly adorable and funny and sexy and entertaining at the same time.

Like I'll try to say this fast but Sam vs. Nop is one of the best dreamiest things I've ever seen fr, and there is so much about how Sam confronted him and tried to set up a chance for Mon to confront him that speaks to what Sam values in communication, and how burdensome and arbitrary she finds social niceties. AND re: nuance work, I loved it because they let Sam make explicit what Nop has been doing, ignoring every single time Mon tells him she's not into him (because she has told him! onscreen!), with an expectation that he can wear her down over time, exploiting the misogynist social role Mon's trapped in. It is so badass that Sam calls that out, it is so badass that the narrative calls that out! I have so much hope and expectation for everything unspoken right now (forbidden workplace romance, fiance?, what Mon's headspace is re: "friends" playing the lip-biting game) because of these sorts of moments. I really believe this series knows what it's doing, has plenty to say and a deft touch when it comes to saying it, and that's exhilarating.

Quick other things: Loved when Sam got jealous of the prawns for stealing her girl's attention. How long before she asks "Would you love me if I was a worm?" and makes herself jealous of Sam the worm...

I just want to do a very clear shout-out to "What is your favorite facial feature of mine? I'll trade you a bite for a bite" as a flirtation strategy. Like I've been calling Sam a disaster lesbian but that is a move.

Laura and I agreed Sam had major Kim Theerapanyakul vibes in the very first scene, showing up to inflict jealous, unnecessary violence against friends, and then yell "Goodbye forever!!!" when questioned on her embarrassing behavior. Luckily for her Mon apparently will always text first :')

I loved Sam's tie necklace. Very sexy.

What other substances can be applied to and then bitten off lips? Let us brainstorm together, tumblr. Ep 1, Ep 2, Ep 3, Ep 4

[perianth-nixie]

For Iberis 👀:

CJ

4, 7, 13, 38, 43

That's a lot of questions but let's go!

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

Not really. Iberis-3 was a random OC and Young Wolf so it was 'prepared' for me as the gamer. I didn't expect Iberis to slap THAT MUCH. I didn't really care whether he fits or not. My style of storytelling is much different than the canonic one from Destiny 2. More comedy with a lot of sad stuff in life. (The black comedy, I guess). I just keep going, If I disliked something, I just get rid of this but I want to be sure it fits the main story of the game.

I didn't know what I did but it worked. Just some trust in myself in this rare moment.

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

Yes, a lot. Usually, the Young Wolf is a character who looks like they forget how to speak but exactly knows how to punch someone's face. Silent OP character.

In the begging Iberis was supposed to have a much different character. More moody, mean shit without reason, who doesn't care about anyone. Boring Edge Lord. Luckily he changes to the current version.

My art style is not really similar to the canon one. I prefer cartoonish/comic style with too expressive faces and body language. Exos in the game are not really expressive (except Cayde cuz he was the only one Exo with eyebrows, srl. But y'know, It was Cayde, the very very special one).

I gave more human behavior to exo - crying, able to be drunk what is said in the lore-books they can't do. Even able to blush. Full realism and being 100% accurate to the canon is not my jam but looks like ppl don't blame and mock me for this so why not use this?

Also, my fake tooths, in my version, Exos have fake teeth 'cause It works better for me than the black whatever is it. So much stylization.

QUESTIONS FOR YOUR OCs

4) How easy is it to earn their trust?

It's a hard question. Usually, Iberis doesn't give his trust easily to anyone. His trauma in blueberry years, working with the Vanguards, and being the Famous Young Wolf learn him to not be open to others. But it doesn't mean Ibi cannot give trust someone.

Iberis-3 opens up when he has to deal with too strong emotions for him or he feels really bad and/or overwhelmed. He's very emotional but also he's a master at hiding this.

Also, he's able to give some trust if someone shares the same passion as him. Especially plants but painting and drawing too.

7) What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

Definitely his early years on the farm. I don't mean the farm from EDZ but one in the Last City. Iberis-3 in his blueberry years left the tower and he refused to be a guardian but it's a story for another time. The farm was his workplace but also his 1st home. Eddy, his friend let him live here when Iberis was homeless but later Ibi become a part of this family.

In this place, Iberis finally starts to feel accepted and comfortable with himself, that he's something more than an undead warrior where only his combat skills mean something.

This farm was ruined during Red War. Eddy and his family survived this hard time, unlucky except for Eddy's dad who died at the begging attack on the city.

After/During Red War Iberis become the new Young Wolf so it was meant back to his role of guardian. He wasn't able back to Eddy's family. He still misses them but he knows it never be the same now.

13) What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

Iberis usually like to wear black, grey, or white t-shirts with prints. He doesn't say no to colorful ones but he can be picky about this. He doesn't like main bright colors.

Did he look good? In my humble opinion yes, but everyone has their own sense of fashion so...

Tricky question.

38) What memory do they revisit the most often? 

Actually, there are two.

The 1st one is the death of Cayde. Iberis can't forgive himself because he wasn't able to save Cayde. The consequences are still with him until now (I mean especially Crow, the story for a different time too). Sometimes Iberis is wonder how it would be if Forsaken never happened. Maybe everything would be easier? We never knew the answer.

The 2nd one is related to Forsaken but that's more my story. Iberis after this broke up with Shiro. Both of them had personal problems after what happened in the Prison of Elders. Shiro has pissed off cuz Iberis goes alone to kill all barons and Uldren. Shiro was the last one of the hunter trio and lost many friends so losing the loved one was too much for him. Shiro chooses to be alone than lost another person in his life. He regrets this later.

On the other side, Iberis had to do this. We all know why so I don't think it's necessary to explain. Iberis is still back to these memories if he wanted or not.

Spoiler, not a spoiler. Ibi and Shiro are back to themself in the Season of Splicer. Both idiots had to grow up.

43) If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? 

One of the biggest enemies in his life. Iberis is not a person who shows his feeling around people, romantic too. You'll almost never see how Iberis and Shiro show their feelings around others.

Iberis is unable to explain why he's gay. It's natural to him if we can use 'natural' when we talk about Exo. It's just the way he is. He likes other men and... That's it.

In his personal opinion asking him why he is gay is rude and nosy. Why do you even care? Usually, when someone asks him about this he just says he's gay and the end of the theme. Thank you, goodbye.

...

I hope I answer everything correctly. Thx for your questions!

[you-dont-need-me-anymore]

And just like that folks I’m done.. I cannot allow myself to love like that again. I cannot let another man come into my life or my little girls life. They do not mean well ever. They are not out there… my heart will never EVER recover from this. I can physically feel it has aged, and constantly aches like a pulled muscle. There were times where I thought I was going to have a cardiac episode from the pain. The palpations are sickening. It’d be easier if it just stopped beating. It wouldn’t matter I’m an empty shell anyways.

He broke what was left of me, he built me up just to tear me down. He talked shit about everyone…I went along with it.

I let secrets slip out, he knows a lot. I had to I trusted him. Turns out narcissists love that shit. They thrive off that. He would have a new supply already … well he probably already had it. I know from his good landscaper mate that he was talking to others, along with telling people I was just a swing with him and his wife…. Well if I was why the fuck did she rock up at my door 😞 if I knew I would have never have gone there not again, not ever.. 7 months he lived a double, maybe even a triple life. And I was there just being played.

3-4 days a week of working with him and not once did she come to the work sites. At least I know I can do retic, wire up valves and the control box. Didn’t pay me for my last week of work… it’s ok though the $1000s of dollars of retic in my garage that I’m going to sell will suffice.

Wait until his mum finds out… it’s not long now. Our good family friends bestfriend is his godmother, he knew that. How fucking dumb. It’s game over for your ego, your business, your standing in the community, the shire will be contacted about your illegal set up of cameras in the park and about stealing council water..

Or maybe it was paying me from an account she didn’t know about when I thought you were paying me from the business, it’s ok though ato will be flagging you due to your ABN being on my Centrelink’s and shit not adding up, you fucked your wife book keeping license too. You didn’t just destroy me. You destroyed her and the kids lives. What gets me is the invoicing email you made me send invoices too, the fake one, just so she couldn’t see them.. since I’ve now learnt she does the book keeping.

I don’t know what the point of this is … to get shit off my chest..

The people you talked shit about will be advised and you will have more battles to fight.

Maybe your ‘wife’ was right maybe you are a narc, maybe you did rape her with other men, maybe you are a terrible dad, maybe you do call her fat, lazy, bad communicator, maybe you do throw her up against walls… maybe she was right when she said he doesn’t love you. Because it’s come out of her mouth I’m left to believe it’s true

You’re lucky she’s sticking around and that she hasn’t fucked you off. Lucky she’s now blaming me since you have fucked with her head saying I was black mailing you… with what bro? I worked my ass off for your business.

I don’t care if you and her drag my name through the mud now… yes I’ve been a mistress before but I know damn fucking well that I am not this time around. Luckily having the messages to prove you lied for 7 whole months. Even after showing her the proof it’s still my fault. She’s delusional and I guess you’re lucky she is because mate there will come a day that she’ll realise and you’ll be fucked. You’ll do it again, and she will find out!

Also if you speak my name in a place I was born and raised you will have fucked up.

Your kids entire school knows, your ‘wife’ knows, your god mother is about to know, the whole rec centre knows, your daughters gymnastics coach (my coach) knows, our coffee guy… he knows too, even people at your wife’s workplace knows… silly BOY you played the wrong person.

And boy have you got a lot of people to answer too now

I know for a fact it’s not defamation because why shouldn’t I be able to tell my truth. If you just came to me and said “look K, I lied, I’m sorry… this has to end” sure I would’ve been hurt but you’ve pissed me off AND hurt me. I asked from the fucking beginning, I guess you knew I wouldn’t have crossed that line if I knew the truth.

I hope we bump into you at the country club sooner rather than later.

The fact I screamed and cried over you like this is embarrassing, but you destroyed me in ways I didn’t think were possible.

[staenless]

Scrolling through a radfem blog (I like to do this with lots of bizaar radical views because some of the posts make me laugh but also I feel like if I learn more about what they're discussing and their views of the world I'm less likely to accidentally agree with their philosophies because they worded it just right and left out the worst bits. If that makes sense) and one post was about how lesbians (radfem ones specifically) only trust celibate hetero women and female only bisexuals because they aren't caving in and having a relationship with men in order to get a leg up over women who aren't in m/f relationships (not m/f presenting relationships mind you because being trans is like a mental illness but it's also because the trans person is confused because of gender power dynamics? I think? Idk it's all bullshit).

And it's like, first of all I know for a fact the person making that post is from a first world country because women who actually genuinly NEED a male relationship to FUNCTION (ie open a bank account, get a job etc etc) do not hate other women for being in relationships with men. Idk if it's different in other countries but my gran couldn't open a bank account, make large purchases, get a job, get an education with the primary man in her life signing off on it, and so to her and many women in her generation getting married was, aside from other things, often a means to an end. If you actually NEED men to be able to function in society then other women are not going to HATE and LOATH you for getting with a man, because they will be doing the same thing. You don't have another choice. Luckily the OP doesn't live like that so instead they can sound off about how people in m/f relationships have this super great privilege (it's called homophobia BTW, if you marry someone and you're in a f/f or m/m relationships and people treat you like shit it's because they're homophobic).

And you know instead of sounding off at bi/straight/pan/etc women on Tumblr.com you could look at countries were women, like, actually do not have human rights and go "hmmmm how can I help these women?" and then do something? Anything? Like spread awareness about issues in other countries, organise fundraisers for women shelters, sanitary pads and contraceptive outreach in these countries. Maybe you could actually, idk, pause hating men so SO much that you actually try to care about women? Instead of blaming them for betraying you? Like actually I think radfems hate men more than they care about other women. And also that blog was transphobic so like, go to hell for that too.

Anyway this is a super round about way to tell you a lot of women in third world xou tries do not have access to sanitary towels, and you should look into programs that provide reusable pads/mental cups and try donating. I know this has been spoken about in conjunction with Palestine but it's also a reality in many other countries that aren't in an active conflict so if you're feeling generous or want to organise a workplace/friend group donation party consider a cause that helps women get access to these resources and keeps them in school, at work and able to live with dignity. Also fuck terfs and fuck radfems.

[twicecorner]

Smoked Out

A/N: Smoking warning. AU-ish, this is all made up, I don’t encourage smoking nor do I think Jihyo would really act like this, but I saw a scene in a show and a little quickie idea popped up. I know this isn’t the TA series that a lot of you had hoped for, but the writing fuel came out and this is the small product. It’s different from my other works, not really smut, but maybe it could be, who knows.

2624 words; idek what genre to call this one lol angst? but not really? idk LMAO anyways enjoy🫣

Being a foreign worker in another country is never easy, but luckily you got to work with an amazing team at a nice company. You’ve been working at JYP with the world-renowned K-pop girl group Twice for about a year now. It’s only normal that you’ve found your place on their team and have finally started to be more involved with them in and out of the workplace setting. 

One warm night the team, along with some of the girls, head out for some food and drinks after a long day's schedule. You’re surprised that they decided to go out tonight considering how long of a week it’s been and even more so surprised that even some members wanted to join in A nice Friday night of barbecue, soju, and beer, and the crew has become a loud bantering table at the small restaurant in the middle of Seoul. You’re laughing and making jokes with some of your co-workers and suddenly your phone rings. 

“Hold on guys,” you take another shot of soju, “I’ll be back in a sec, I have to take this.” You stand up from your seat and head outside as the laughter slowly muffles when you close the door and head to the small alleyway next to the restaurant in the still Seoul summer air. 

“Hello?” you question.

“What are you doing? Have you been drinking?”  The other person responds quickly.

“Yes… it’s a Friday night and we’ve had a long week.” You meekly reply.

“What the fuck. Who’s we?? I thought you stopped drinking.” 

“We as in my co-workers and I and quite frankly I don’t weally know why you’re bombarding me with questions right now… isn’t it like morning there?” Your words slightly slurring.

The person on the end of the line is the crazy ex that for some reason loves to keep tabs on you after your “messy” break up somewhere during your first month in Seoul. The initial phone call was made by you because you couldn’t handle the long-distance and that work was far too crazy to keep the relationship the way you wanted to, that breaking it off might be the best decision for both parties. Unfortunately, she didn’t pick up so you decided to leave a voicemail. A few days go by and you hear nothing from her. Your best friend from home calls you and tells you she’s been cheating on you ever since you left. 2 years of a relationship that you thought would be the last, down the drain. Your friends had always told you they’d seen red flags from her since you started dating, but ignorantly and “in love” you brushed them off. Now, you’re seeing the signs just a bit too late and clearly suffering the consequences. You took her silence as a sign of guilt or shame and decided to leave it at that. One phone call she made to you about 3 months after that incident is when she tried to explain herself, but you were having none of it, after hours of yelling and arguing and crying, you broke it off for good.

“You know how you get when you drink. This is why we shouldn’t have broken up. Why are you always out and ‘working’ don’t they give you time off? Do you even know what I’ve been going through?” She sounds like she’s about to keep yammering so you cut her off.

“We haven’t spoken in like months and you’re calling me now to complain? To yell at me? And for what?” It’s reached the point that this phone call has somehow managed to snap you out of your fun drunken daze and into a fed-up, upset mood.

“And what gives you the right to talk to me like that? For your information, I was calling to check up on you.”

“Oh really? And by doing what? Interrogating me on my life choices? I’m doing just fine here and I hope you’re doing well with that fucker from your office. You know I only picked up your call because some small fucking part of me still kind of cares about you and I thought maybe something had happened. But I guess not, so if there’s really nothing left to say, goodnight or good morning or whatever. Goodbye.” Click. 

Fuck.. really out of all times she could have called. Bitch 

You angrily shove your phone back into your pocket and pull out a pack of cigarettes. You told yourself you’d stop smoking when you left home, but sometimes the stress of the job was too much, and of course whenever you drank you’d have a smoke or two. Right now checked off both of those boxes. Fumbling with the pack and the lighter you manage to light one up. 

Fuck god, I really can’t believe her you mutter to yourself as you slowly exhale your first puff of smoke. 

“You know smoking is bad for you.” You hear a voice from behind you and it makes you jump a little. 

“Oh shit-” you turn around and it's none other than Park Jihyo. And out of all people who could catch you now. “Oh Jihyo… Hi. Uh, I know, it’s just… I usually… you know.. Ah when I drink or I’m super stressed” You nervously hold the cigarette between your index and middle finger close to your leg, failing miserably at an attempt to hide what she already saw. 

“Ah right, that’s what most people say hm?” She raises an eyebrow at you.

You let out a nervous laugh and shyly nod.

“So who was that? On the phone?” 

“Oh did you hear? Sorry, was I too loud?”

“No, no I came out to get some air, it was getting hot inside” She replies.

“Ah, I see.” Your eyes look down at the floor almost like a kid that’s about to get scolded.

“You sounded upset. Are you okay?” She tries to meet your eyesight and you instinctively meet hers.

“Yeah…. Actually, no not really it was my crazy ex” You explain a short version of your breakup and the phone call to her. “Sorry, that was too much information, but I feel like I just had to get it off my chest.” After a breath you give in and take another hit from the cigarette, turning to face away from Jihyo.

“Oh wow. Okay yeah, that does sound stressful. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Another exhale of smoke. “Thanks. Um, I think I’ll finish this one and head back in, you should go back, and like you said, this isn’t good for you…” You’re a little ashamed, but truly this is not how you’d hope this night would go. 

“You know, I’ve always wanted to try smoking.” 

Her comment shocks you. “Really? But you’re a signer, and an idol no-less, this is like one of the top 3 things you never ever do.” 

“My older cousins used to do it and I always thought it was kind of cool. They’d inhale it like you do.”

As she says that you coincidentally take another hit. Sucking it into your mouth, puffing your cheeks out once, and parting your lips slightly, re-inhaling the smoke through your nose. The French inhale technique. Before letting the smoke exhale back through your mouth and nostrils. 

“Oh this… it’s a bad habit that I really intended on quitting when I came here and I was doing really well for a while before things got a little crazy and let my worst get the best of me.” Again you feel embarrassed. By now, the cigarette is about halfway finished. 

“Can I try?” She asks.

“What? No! I can’t let you. Remember the whole signer, idol, kpop star thing.” 

“Please just once” She looks at you with puppy dog eyes now.

“Jihyo no, you’re drunk and you’re gonna regret it.” You hold it even further away from her now. 

“I’m not drunk I didn’t even have one drink. I have to take care of Nayeon and Jeongyeon who, when I left were competing to see how fast they could down their 4th soju bomb”

This back and forth goes on for about another minute until you give up. At this point, she’s playfully trying to grab it from your hand and you’re about to flick it into the street when she catches your wrist.

“Jihyo. No.”  You hold her back with your other arm now.

“Make. Me.” She looks at you in the eyes with a stern sentiment. 

“You’re not gonna stop are you?” 

“Does it look like I’m the type to give up?” She quips back.

“Okay. Fine. But there’s a way that we used to do it back home that might hurt less for you. I’ve done this multiple times, just trust me.”

“Okay,” She flashes a gummy smile and pulls her hand off of you. 

Leading up to this moment, you had to admit you’d developed a small crush on Jihyo after working with her and seeing how kind and talented of a person she is. 

“It’s called shotgunning. And not the type with beer cans. I’ll take the initial hit and I’ll just blow a little bit of smoke into your mouth so you can emulate the sensation. Is that okay?” You explain the technique to her.

“Yes, I like the sound of that.” She replies.

“One time, and one time only. Do you understand?” 

“Yes, yes let’s do it.” It’s a little puzzling how excited she is about this.

“Okay, here we go.” You take a final hit from the cigarette and hold the smoke in your mouth before dropping it to the floor and ashing it out with your foot. You continue the motions with the french inhale, but instead of exhaling through your nostrils as usual, you take a step closer to Jihyo and cup her face with your right hand. She leans up to meet you, face-to-face. With your left hand, you bring it to the other side of her face and gently part her lips with your thumb. You lean in closer, your lips brushing against each other now. You thought at this point she’d pull away, but she’s right there. You slowly exhale through your mouth, letting the smoke travel the short distance between your mouths. You only let out a little before blowing the rest out of the side of your mouth away from hers. Letting her naturally pull away, she playfully lets the smoke fall from her lips and she exhales the small puff. Closely watching her to make sure she’s okay, you instinctively place your hand somewhere on her lower back. 

“Wow.” She looks with wide eyes at the small cloud of smoke dissipating into the air.

“Hm? Are you okay? Did that hurt? Burn?” You’re looking for any signs.

“No, it was okay. That was fun.” She touches her lips where your thumb parted them moments before. “I- I want to do it again”

“No, I already ashed it out. It’s gone no more.” You put your hands up in the air showing her there’s nothing there. 

“N-no not that. That was a fun one-time experience. I’m glad it was with you” She seems a little nervous now.

“Then do what again? Oh, and I hope no one saw that, I don’t necessarily want  to get fired for doing what feels like a crime.” You let out a light chuckle.

“This.” She steps back in front of you and grabs your arms, putting them back into the position they were in on her face. “Do that again,” Jihyo whispers and holds your thumb near her mouth.

You’re too stunned to speak at what you just heard. She wants me to kiss her? This is insane.

A slow nod is all you can reply with and you create the same motions, this time, her hands holding your forearms in place. You glide your thumb over her bottom lip as if asking permission and you bring your faces close together. Your lips brush over hers ever so slightly and you can feel her breath shakily exhaling and as if the feeling of butterflies make the same journey that the smoke did but in the opposite direction, you feel your breath hitch and your heartbeat speed up. Your eyes flutter closed and Jihyo seizes the opportunity. 

She closes the thin gap between you and your lips collide. Her soft lips tangle with yours and you’re certain the fireworks are mutual. Like a movie kiss, it feels like time stops and the world stops spinning. The far memory of your ex dissipated with the smoke that left Jihyo’s lips and all you know is her lips on yours. A set of matching puzzle pieces, perfectly intertwining in this dimly lit alleyway. It feels like an eternity that you’re standing there kissing Jihyo and it may as well be, you���re content there with her. But the kiss comes to a natural end when you both pull away for some air. 

“Wow.” She says under her breath, face inches away from you.

“I’ve been wanting to do that ever since I met you.” You confess, still gently holding her face.

“Me too,” Jihyo replies, looking deeply into your eyes. 

You can feel yourself starting to take a few heavy breaths, processing what’s just happened and been said, but before you could, the two of you collide again. This time the kiss deepens quickly. Her hands now let go of your forearms and wiggle their way to hook behind your neck, yours move from their place on her cheeks and down to her waist, pulling her body to yours and closing every gap between the two of you. Her hands weave into your hair and push you further into the, now messy kiss. Tongues dance together, but you know you can’t do anything more than this now, especially in public even if it’s the late hours of the night here. But both of you want more, to feel more. She grabs one of your arms and squeezes it, a wordless “okay” as if to signal you. You realize how hard you’re holding her waist and let up on your grip, only to slide one hand down to cup her full ass. She moans into the kiss and takes a harder grip on your hair. As if the universe could see where this was about to go, you’re both startled when a loud car passes the alleyway. Instinctive speed kicks in and you separate your bodies, scared that you’ve been caught. 

“Fuck…” you say catching your breath. Realizing now your pants are a little tighter than they were when you first stepped outside. Jihyo giggles when she also notices, “Wow that was fast”

“Yah! This is your fault!” joking as you motion towards your crotch. 

“You’re lucky we live in the same place. I can fix that at a later time, but right now take a second to relax and hurry back inside, they’re probably wondering where we are. I’ll say we ended up taking  a little walk to sober you up.” You’re amazed at how fast she’s able to process all of that and so nonchalantly bounce back to her leader persona. Jihyo skips back inside with a wide smile on her face. 

Bringing yourself back down to earth, you pull your phone out and quickly block your ex’s number. And then you pull out the pack of cigarettes, emptying the pack onto a nearby trashcan, leaving one in the box along with your lighter, and shoving it back into your jacket pocket. “Just one. No more” you say to yourself, before heading back into the restaurant and rejoining the group.

A/N hi again… ik this isnt my usual smut-type work BUT imma have a solely smut oneshot coming out next in response to something I got in my inbox recently :D oh and im in the midst of editing and finalizing the first part of TA hehe as always thanks for reading <3 twc

[yeahimaloser]

Hi lovely! I adore your writing style and noticed you were taking requests. This is my first request ever so if it comes off a little awkward please forgive me! 👉👈

I was hoping for a scenario where Hawks has been wondering why y/n has been skipping out on get-togethers with him for the past week or two. He gets curious enough one day that he just-so-happens to patrol the area where you run off to after you reject another date with him.

He finds out that you have been going to an outdoor avian clinic and taking classes on how to pamper/massage or preen bird wings in order to surprise Hawks for your anniversary coming up.

But not like totally before Hawks confronts you and blurting out “Have you been cheating on me with a parrot?” 😂

Thank you! I hope this all makes sense. Hugs and kisses!

Hello there!! You are so sweet! and you didn’t come off awkward at all! <3

I am so sorry I didn’t actually mean for this to become an angst fic in the beginning ;-; 

but it is fluffy don’t worry!

warnings: avian Keigo (Keigo having bird like tendencies)

Also I schedule this to be a bit later than I normally post, I’ll most likely be asleep when this goes up so I just wanted to say to everyone thank you for reading!!

word count: 3.3k

------

He tapped his foot against the floor of the restaurant, his patience deteriorating every second as he stared at the door.

As the fastest hero, Keigo never really had any patients for just about anything. One thing he hated more than anything was people being late, he moved fast, he wanted people to move fast with him.

All he wanted to do was go on a nice date night, have some dinner, and go home and watch a movie or something. He just wanted to spend time with you.

You normally never skipped out on dates, so why now? 

He had noticed your absence in the last few weeks, more and more you would skip out on him. 

The anxiety bubbling in his heart was starting to spill over, seeping into his attitude in daily life. In his head, he wondered if maybe you were trying to signal to him that you weren’t interested in dating anymore, that maybe you were just silently drifting from him. But he loved the 11 months he got to spend with you, he’d never experienced anything like it. It was fresh, new, loving, he didn’t want it to end. Those thoughts had made him feel miserable for the last week or so, but he was still confused by you. Although you skipped out on dates and such, you still acted so lovingly towards him. You would still come home and snuggle up to him, you would still run your fingers through his hair at night, you would still talk mindlessly about your day, as though nothing was remotely bothering you.

So, maybe you really were busy, perhaps he was just looking too much into the issue.

But still, getting stood up for the 4th time in a row would make anyone a bit upset. 

He left the restaurant, paying for the drink he had ordered, and went on his way home.

Maybe it was a side effect of his quirk, but when he had these sorts of thoughts his wings would get all twitchy. He had done the research and found that when birds were in a high-stress situation they plucked at their feathers. The article also said that when a person that said a bird was attached to someone that abandons them, they get even more stressed and irritated. Which he supposed made sense. He would never admit it to very many people, (and if the press got a hold of it he would honestly shoot himself) but he had some bird tendencies.

Not big ones, just small ones.

He would bob his head in time with music sometimes, his pupils would dilate and contract when he was concentrating on something, he would mindlessly coo and cluck randomly as well.

Luckily, the commission taught him to control his bird-like tendencies, they told him that some of his bird traits were “off-putting”. But he really wasn’t sure what they were talking about, animal quirks weren’t uncommon, but he didn’t complain, he didn’t mind the help. 

But since he’s been dating you, he found himself getting more and more of these tendencies.

A few times, he would find random shiny objects and give them to you, he acted all excited about it too, saying, “I saw it and thought that you could keep it! It’s super pretty so, I don’t know, I thought you’d think it was cool.” After he said that, you just took the objects and told him he was so adorable. 

Another time, when you two were just out and about, he had seen you talk to someone with a similar bird quirk to his. He didn’t even know what came over him, but he squawked at the man, effectively freaking him and you out.

He apologized profusely after that. 

There was one bird-like quality he didn’t mind all that much, and that was the preening of his feathers. It was honestly so relaxing, the dirt and dust from flying seeped into his feathers, so he always found himself soaking his wings in water and then rubbing them with a special kind of oil.

There were some days, however, were all he could do (or all he had time to do) was take a warm towel and gently rub off his feathers. 

And lately, he had found himself going overboard with his preening, pulling more aggressively at his feathers, sometimes even hurting himself. He suspected that it was due to the stress of worrying about what was wrong with you (or him).

He hated all of it, loathed it even. Worse was how hard it was for him to broach the subject with you, whenever he got close he always wussed out. In his mind, even though it bothered him, he didn’t want to lose you. He was so scared that if he brought it up he would hear something he dreaded, and you two would fall apart. 

He loved you so much, he wanted you to stay with him. Another bird trait he learned, some birds mated for life, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t feel that way about you. He just...he didn’t want to lose you.

There was one possibility that was the worst, and yet the most likely. You had been cheating on him.

He really didn’t want to admit it, but it all sort of added up.

You skipped out on dates so you could go out with this other person. When you would become affectionate with him could be a sign of guilt, he read about that online. And the way you wouldn’t see his texts or missed calls when he knew you were on a lunch break, maybe you were seeing someone else. 

Was he a bad boyfriend? He thought that he had become better at this whole relationship stuff, maybe not perfect, but he was getting there. He knew he was hard to deal with, he wished he could be better for you, he really did. He knew he was busy a lot, tired from work, he knew he wasn't the most affectionate guy, but he wanted you, he wanted you so much it hurt.  Keigo thought that you loved him because he really loved you. 

The thought of having to let you go crushed his heart crushed his spirit too. He really did care for you, he knew that you were the one for him, so the thought of you not returning that feeling hurt him.

He flew through the night sky, looking down at the lights of the city. Normally, a sight like this would have made him smile, made him feel like he was on top of the world.

But his wings just felt uncomfortable, the wind blowing through them just increased the feeling. 

He just felt… done. Like the whole world felt heavy to him. Maybe he really was overthinking everything, but he couldn’t help it, he was made to be observant. 

He knew he had a strange habit of over-complicating things, but it was just his nature he supposed. A trained government agent always has to look into the fine details, at least, that's what he was taught. So, with your absence, he found himself becoming more and more paranoid.

He brought it up to his side-kicks and hero friends, and they all said the same thing; he was just being paranoid. They told him that, “sometimes in relationships, things get a little rough, it happens.” But Keigo couldn’t help but hate the whole ordeal.

He sighed, flying faster to his home.

One time, he had tried to follow you on your lunch break. He supposed it was pretty stalkerish, but he was getting desperate. All he needed was reassurance, just to know if you were actually busy or if that had been a bullshit excuse. He told himself it wasn’t a huge deal, he was just making sure you were doing ok.

...ok maybe it was a bit of a breach of privacy.

He had perched himself on top of a building near your workplace. Keigo had made sure that you wouldn’t be able to see him as he followed you, keeping out of sight as best he could.

His initial thought was you would go to a coffee shop, maybe some sort of expensive restaurant if you were meeting someone. 

Yet, to his surprise, he saw you scarf down a sandwich as you entered an animal clinch.

Were you cheating on him with an animal clinch employee?

He wanted to confront you then and there, but from where he was, he didn’t have any reason to.

It looked innocent enough, you were just going to an animal clinch.

He immediately felt guilty. There was no reason for him not to trust you, you had done nothing wrong in this situation. Maybe you really were working overtime and he was just overthinking everything.

He shook his head, sighing, he unfolded his wings and flew off the building he was perched on.

That was a week ago, it was after the third time you stood him up. And now, although he didn’t have any proof of you cheating, he still felt like he had a reason to confront you. He just felt sick of worrying and overthinking everything, and in all honesty, you weren’t helping the situation. Every time he asked you about it, you always came up with some sort of excuse. 

He landed on his balcony with a loud thump, not caring all that much about the noise. 

As he entered his home, he lifted the hem of his shirt off his head, throwing it on the floor unceremoniously. Walking over to the bathroom, he filled a special bowl full of water and made his way back over to the bed.

It was probably a bad idea to preen himself when he was so aggravated like this, but he wanted to do it, his wings felt so uncomfortable. 

His right-wing raised a bit as he sat down, pulling the feathered stump closer to him.

But before he could even graze the feathers with a damp cloth he had, he heard the front door open and close.

Before he had even realized it, he was already zooming down the staircase of his luscious penthouse, knowing full well you were already inside of his home.

“Hi honey,” you slipped your shoes off, not looking at him yet. “How was your day- Oh,” he crossed his arms over his chest, he was sure his expression was one of utmost anger. 

“Where were you,” his tone was irritated, his wings twitched behind him.

“I was working. Baby what's wrong,” he nearly rolled his eyes at your concerned tone.

“Don’t baby me, you stood me up,” he huffed, “again.” 

He didn’t miss the sorry expression that flashed on your face, “Kei, I’m sorry, I really am. I’ve just been so busy lately. I know I haven’t been fair to you, but I’m not doing anything tomorrow! Look I’ll even make dinner for you, ok? Really, Kei, I’m ”

“Y/N,” here it came, “if your gonna break up with me, just do it already

Well, that certainly shocked you (and him if he was being honest). Your whole expression fell into one of confusion, your eyes looked up at him with genuine hurt.

“What? Keigo what are you talking about? You’re not making any sense, why would I want to break up with you?”

“I don’t know Y/N?! Why have you been avoiding me for so long!?”

You sighed, “Is that what this is all about? Well,” you pulled out some sort of form, reaching it out to him, “here, I wanted to surprise you on our anniversary, but I don’t want you to think that I’m doing something dishonest.”

He snatched the piece of paper out of your hand, maybe a bit too harshly. He looked at it and was immediately confused.

It was information on a class about… how to preen birds?

He gave you a confused look, to which you gave him a light smile, “I see how frustrating it is for you to preen them, so I wanted to help out. I saw that I could learn how and thought it would be a cute thing for us to do together.”

He stood in shock for a few moments, letting the guilt wash over him. 

“I-I’m so sorry.”

You chuckled a bit, “Don’t be, it was wrong of me to leave you high and dry on dates, I just had to work overtime in order to get these classes in.”

Now, he felt twice as guilty.

This whole time he had thought you were drifting away from him, and worse, he thought you were cheating on him. He felt sick. His friends were right, he really was overthinking the whole situation. And worst of all, you were working overtime to do something so nice for him, and here he was, yelling at you.

“I-I’m so sorry, Y/N. Jesus,” he shook his head, “I’m an idiot. You were off doing something so thoughtful for me, and I was being a prick, yelling at you. I’m sorry honey. Is there something I can do to make it up to you?” 

But you just chuckled, “Keigo, really, it’s ok. I should have at least done something to convince you, or rescheduled our dates. It’s ok honey, don’t feel bad.”

You moved in to give him a hug, which just happened to be the moment you realized his shirt was missing.

“Uh,” he saw your body straighten up, and your face makes a flustered expression, “why is your shirt…”

“Oh, well,” he scratched his feathers nervously, “it’s kinda funny, I was just about to preen my wings. So I have to take off my shirt in order to get the water to the back. Kind of a weird coincidence, huh.”

“Well,” you looked at him, eyes softening, “can I help?”

Keigo was sure his heart had frozen, after a moment or two, he answered, “S-sure.”

-----

You pulled a stool for him to sit on as you sat down on the bed.

Keigo wasn’t sure why, but he felt so anxious. To tell the truth, he never really had someone preen his wings before. He would always do it himself, it was an annoying effort sometimes, but the commission was very big on him looking good for the public eye.

His wings weren’t super sensitive, but the light touches of your fingers running through them felt like pure heaven to him. The sensation was like having someone giving a message, but… different. It felt nicer, more loving, more slow and nice.

The whole sensation made him shutter.

“Is this ok,” he didn’t miss the anxiety in your tone.

“Yeah,” he said, breathlessly. “Perfect, keep...keep doing that babe.”

The little pulls of his feathers relaxed him more and more, making him seep into the back of the stool he was sitting on.

When you had started to add water to the mix, he didn’t notice his cooing.

“Kei?”

“Hmm,” his mind was so far gone in the relaxation of your hands that he barely registered your voice.

“Are you cooing,” you had to suppress your smirk as his body went rigid, as well as his wings.

“I,” his face was almost as deep red as his wings, “s-sorry.”

You giggled, “Don’t apologize,” you pressed softly into the apex of some of his feathers, “if it feels good, it’s fine if you coo. I won't judge you.”

Softly, he let out a few coos, but he didn’t want to freak you out.

But soon, he realized he couldn’t keep them in, you were just doing so well. 

You moved softly to grab his feather oil, “Uh, so how does this even work? Do I take a few drops and run them through each individual feather or something?”

You’ve seen him preen his wings before, but until recently you had just started to pay attention to how he exactly did them. You had noticed that the oil he used on his feathers gave a shine to the red plumage, but you had noticed he was a bit cautious with the serum.

“O-oh,” you didn’t miss the light stutter and the soft up-take of his voice, “Um, if you want you can just put a few drops in your hand and rake them through. You don’t have to do each one if you don’t want to.”

You thought for a moment, “Alright, I think I’ll just do each feather. I wanna get this right after all.”

And, honest to god, Keigo gulped.

You’ve never seen him this relaxed and yet so tense, you would have thought he was drugged. You would be lying if you didn’t enjoy it though, the way Keigo melted into you, it was weirdly adorable.

“Yeah,” he let out, “yeah ok.”

After that, it was like Keigo could barely talk. 

For a moment, you considered something. When you and Keigo had started to date, you had noticed how he was a bit touch-starved. He craved affection, whether he was aware of this or not, you weren’t sure.

But it made sense, his childhood past, and plus, this was his first real relationship. You wondered if Keigo had ever been shown so decent, honest love before.

Perhaps his bird instincts also played a part in how affectionate he could be. You read once, that when male birds became attached to their mates they tended to get affectionate as well as loving. Plus, some birds preened their mates as a show of love, you wondered if what Keigo was doing was just his way of showing how happy he was with you preening him.

After you were done, Keigo’s head was light and tired. The whole experience for him felt magical, he wasn’t sure why though. He preened himself a bunch of times, why was this the first time he felt this way?

But Keigo’s head couldn’t really process the question at the moment.

“You wanna go to sleep,” you asked, bringing your hands lightly over his shoulders, kissing his forehead.

He let out a small, “Mhm,” as he stood up. You had to help him to his bed because of how wobbly he was.

After you carefully helped him into bed, you turned to go to the bathroom to wash your hands, but Keigo dragged you down.

“No,” he whined softly as you tried to get out of his grip, “cuddles.”

(You couldn’t lie, this had to be the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen him do)

He nuzzled into you, his body flushed against yours. 

That’s when you heard it, the little chips. You didn’t say anything, scared that if you did he would stop. You played with his hair as he chirped into your neck, his wings shivered a bit.

You decided to ask him, “Hey, Kei.”

He hummed lightly.

“I’ve never seen you like this, does it have something to do with your bird instincts?”

Keigo thought for a moment, “Maybe,” his voice was light you noticed, “it could be. Kinda just something I experience because that’s what birds do with their...mates.”

You chuckled, running your hands through his wings again, “Maybe it’s because you're also, like, really touch starved.”

“Oh yeah, maybe. I mean,” he looked at you, like a lovesick puppy, “you are my first time in a real relationship.”

You laughed lightly, going back to lightly stroking his hair and feathers.

“Hey Y/N,” Keigo’s voice was tired, and yet, it was soft.

“Yeah honey,” you asked in an equally gooey voice.

He nuzzled in closer to you, giving you a soft, yet deep kiss, “I love you.”

[inomios]

Eight types of love II Levi Ackerman

Summary: “There are eight types of love, and even though his life has been full of pain since the very beginning, he could say he experienced them all.”

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Word count: + 5k

Author note: This is the first thing I’ve ever published and I’m really nervous, so I would really appreciate if you reblogged, liked and commented. Also, English is not my first language, so I’m sorry for any mistakes. Constructive criticism is really appreciated.

                                                           . . . . 

1. AGAPE or Selfless love

           His mother would tell him everyday that she loved him with everything she had, even though it was not a lot. He asked his mother what love was, what meant loving someone. She couldn’t explain it with exact words, she would tell him that love meant caring deeply for someone, even more than for yourself. She loved him and he loved her, that much was true. He asked if he could love more than one person, his mom told him that yes, you could love many people in your life and in different ways. Then, he proceeded to ask if she had ever loved anyone else besides him, she was quiet, like she was thinking the right answer and after a few minutes she said that she had or at least she thought she did, but she had never loved someone as much as she loved him. Love was a confusing thing for him and the more he asked, the more unclear it got.

          The only thing he was sure of was that the only thing she loved was her mother. However, curious as he was, he would ask her questions about it all the time.

         ‘Is love the best thing in the world?’ 

        ‘Yes, Levi, it is the only thing that makes life worth it.’

        ‘Is love always good?’ 

       ‘Not always, sometimes it makes you sad.’

       ‘I don’t wanna be sad. I won’t love anyone else but you.’ 

      ‘You can’t choose who you love, sweetie.’

      ‘Love sucks.’ 

     ‘You will get it when you grow up.’

     ‘I’m already a grown-up.’

     He tried to get it, but he couldn’t. He prided himself of being smart, his mom would always tell him that he was really clever and witty for his age. Then, how come he wasn’t able to understand love. It was just a four-letter word: L-O-V-E, it couldn’t have such a deep meaning. ‘Door’ had also four letters and it wasn’t hard to understand and ‘Scandalous’, pretty much the biggest word for him, had ten letters and he knew what it meant, he could even use it in a phrase.

      His mom, noticing that he was about to collapse trying to figure out what has love, tried to come up with the best possible definition, one that would please his five-year old son.

    ‘Love is a selfless thing. Love means giving everything you have, to make the other person happy and content, even though you may not get back all you give. When you love someone, you only what the best for them. It can cause you pain too but loving someone and being loved back is one of the best things we can experience as humans. We may not have a lot, Levi, but we have each other and more important, we love one another and that makes us privileged.’

     He understood it then, kind of, so the questions stopped.

     However, when his mother’s body laid lifeless in bed, he regretted not making one last question: ‘if you died, do you think anyone would ever love me, mom?’

     Later, when he was under Kenny’s wing and after Kenny had left him at his own, he soon found an answer: no one would.

2. PHILIA or Affectionate love

           After his mother’s death, after Kenny, after everything, he thought that love was out of his reach, something he could never have again. Then Isabel and Farlan happened.

           Every single day since his mother died, he would ask himself if he would love again and if someone would love him back. However, at the same time, he wanted to know nothing about love, love brought pain and he had already suffered enough for a lifetime. He sometimes thought that he had an emptiness inside, a big hole where his heart should be, a room so big that no one could ever fill.

           After his mom came Kenny, but he was sure he did not love him, at least not like he had loved his mother, and he was sure as hell Kenny did not love him back. Love was supposed to be selfless and caring and Kenny was selfish and did not give a damn about him, he proved him that when he left him alone, again.

           Loneliness was a feeling he was already used to but being used to it didn’t mean he liked it. Then again, who would be dumb enough to love him? And he knew better than to love someone who would end up leaving him, like his mother did, like Kenny did.

           Well, maybe he did love Kenny, but loving him was painful. While loving his mother was sweet, freeing and it brought him solace and comfort; loving Kenny was toxic and tough, when he thought about it, it troubled him. He gave him a home and he taught him how to survive in the Underground, he didn’t know why, but he raised him, and Kenny never did something freely, he was sure something was missing there, but he didn’t know what. It was stupid of him to think that he cared about him, but a little white lie never hurt anyone. Loving Kenny, seeing him as the paternal figure he never had, filled him with turmoil and changed the way he perceived love.

           Love was weakness, it could bring you to your knees, he had learned that. It was pointless, why would you commit to something that would inevitably bring you sorrow? He wasn’t about to make the same mistake again, he knew better, the only person who would stay with him was himself and that wasn’t about to change.

           Then Isabel and Farlan walked into his life. Well, Farlan walked, Isabel stumbled.

           They became family. He knew better but he couldn’t help it. They were thick as thieves, literally. Suddenly, they became the family he yearned for since his mother died. He loved them with everything he had. Loving them was selfless as his mother said, he wanted the best for them, he wanted to see them happy, no matter the price. However, it was a different kind of love, it was pure affection. It wasn’t the adoration he had for his mother, nor the rage he felt for Kenny. It was tender and sweet, he never had a brother or a close friend to care about while growing up, but he thought it was supposed to feel like that, it had to be like that. It had to be another type of love. His mother told him that love was never the same, it had different shapes and, for him, at that moment love had Isabel and Farlan’s shape.

           Sadly, nothing good lasts forever, at least not for him. Love causes pain and brings you to your knees, he shouldn’t have forgotten that. When he saw Isabel’s head laying on the floor surrounded by a puddle of her own blood, mouth agape, eyes wide open and pale face, he fell to his knees. He saw a supercut of him, Isabel and Farlan, all the good times, all the laughs they shared and all the stories they still had to write but they would never be able to do because they weren’t there, not anymore, they were gone like his mother, like Kenny. He was alone again.

           Love always brought him to his knees and he would never forget it again. He wasn’t made for love; the same way love wasn’t made for him.

3. LUDUS or Playful love

           Meeting you happened out of pure coincidence, being in the right place at the wrong time.

           He had come from a long mission and he was completely and utterly fine, seriously, but Hange loved to make a big deal out of everything. Well, maybe he had an injury, but a minor one, nothing that he couldn’t take care of himself. He spent years in the Underground, he didn’t need a doctor, he could stitch himself up and place his bones back in place. However, Hange didn’t think the same and was nagging him about getting his injuries checked, so there he was, in one of the infirmary’s bed, waiting for the head doctor.

           It wasn’t that he was scared of doctors or “hospitals”, he just didn’t like the idea of some stranger touching him or feeling hopeless and powerless, he didn’t like feeling like he needed help or advice, he could do it pretty much on his own. But Hange didn’t really trust his medical abilities and he knew that arguing with her was pointless.

           ‘Doctor Brunner couldn’t come since he is busy with some paperwork, so he sent me. I’m his trainee y/n y/ln.’ 

           ‘I’m not letting some failed attempt of medic treat my wounds.’

           It wasn’t what people would call a ‘meet cute’ moment, it was more like a ‘meet jerk’. He wasn’t the best dealing with people, nor that he wanted to be, he preferred it that way. If you had been any other person, you wouldn’t have bitten back, but you had a sharp tongue and weren’t scared of him. That was probably what drew him in, he was so used to people recoiling in fear when they saw him that having someone that actually fought back was quite alluring.

           ‘Well, this failed attempt of a doctor knows more than you ever will, so act your age, stop being a bitch and let me tend your injuries.’

           ‘You have some nerve talking to me like that.’ 

           ‘You have some nerve coming to my workplace to insult me.’

           During that first encounter none of you said much to each other. He wasn’t fond on talking and you didn’t like his attitude, so you didn’t try to strike a conversation. He had to admit that you were good at you job, you tended him with care and you knew what you were doing, not that he would tell you, at least not yet.

           ‘Well, not so bad for a failed attempt of a doctor.’

           It was the closest thing to a compliment he could say, and it looked like you knew, because he swears that he saw you smile a little.

           ‘Aren’t you a pleasure to work with? The injury in your arm was pretty nasty and poorly treated, so luckily for you, you will have to drop by more times to check on you. These are my hours, if you want this failed attempt of a doctor to treat you, Captain. I could get used to see your friendly face now and then.’

           He didn’t know if the last part was supposed to be interpreted as flirting, but he did come back to visit you, to keep an eye of his injury, obviously. However, if you asked Hange, she would say that you had caught his eye, he still says that at that point in your relationship you annoyed him too much to find himself interested in you.

           His weekly visits turned into daily visits, so much for not liking you.

           ‘I’m starting to think I’ve managed to catch your attention, Captain.’ 

          ‘Tch, you’re just less annoying than the rest of the brats.’ 

          ‘Oh Captain, you really know how to make me blush.’

           He lied. You did catch his attention and you both knew it. It wasn’t love, not at all, it was a gentle curiosity that grew a little bit every day, like a flower blossoming.

           ‘Tch, you only know to say shit with that mouth of yours.’ 

           ‘This mouth of mine knows to do a lot of things, want me show you, Captain?’

           ‘When you return from the expedition, you have to come to the infirmary to see your wounds and stop playing the hero, it’s bullshit.’ 

            ‘I’m starting to think you may have an obsession for doing check-ups on me, brat.’ 

           ‘You caught me, I only do them because I can’t keep my hands of you, Captain.’

         ‘Why do you always call me Captain? It’s annoying, I’m not your superior.’

        ‘I know, but I like teasing you with it, Captain.’

        He cared for you more than he cared for other people in his life, he liked being with you, maybe that was another type of love. Loving his mother was selfless; loving Isabel and Farlan was affectionate; loving you, or whatever the hell he was felling, was playful, flirty and it filled him with joy.

       Maybe it wasn’t love, but it was getting there.

4. MANIA or Obsessive love

           Your relationship was frustrating everybody, absolutely every single person that knew about you two, everybody knew you had feelings for each other but none of you did something about it, you just kept tiptoeing around each other. It was painful to see. They didn’t know if you were oblivious, stupid, scared or if you were just messing with them, Hange believed the latter one because there was no way you two weren’t together already. The banter, the flirty remarks, the way he looked out for you and the way you took care of him.

           ‘What’s going on with you and y/n, Shorty?’ 

           ‘You tell me, Four-eyes’

           ‘Tell me the truth, y/n. Are you and Levi dating and just keeping it as a secret? Because I’m losing my mind.’ 

           ‘We aren’t dating, Hange.’

           To be honest, Levi was losing his mind too. The playful game turned into something more serious, something more obsessive and he didn’t like it. He couldn’t stop thinking about you and what were you doing while he was busy with paperwork. On missions his mind wandered about your wellbeing and if you were fine. He couldn’t ignore the way his heartbeat became erratic whenever you were close to him or the way he would notice every single thing about you. He felt powerless, there was no way to stop it.

           He, who always had a plan and knew to do, was helpless under something he could have prevented, or at least something he think he could have avoided. Deep down he knew that he would have fallen for you one way or another, some things are bound to happen, and love is one of them, but he didn’t want to admit that something as mundane as love could outpower him in his own life.

           He was aware of how you felt about him, you weren’t scared to be vocal about it and it drove him mad, and by the way his stoic eyes would gleam and glisten while looking at you, you were certain it was mutual. He knew that if he said the word or gave you signal, you’d be his and he’d be yours, but he couldn’t give you what you wanted, and it was a matter of time before you got tired of him. You were young and beautiful, one the most outstanding creatures he had ever seen, you could do better than him and you’d realize soon enough. Life was too short to waste it on him.

           ‘What are you waiting for, Levi? Do something about it because it’s getting painful to watch.’ 

           ‘Get off my fucking case, Four-eyes.’

           Everyone was waiting for him to do something, but he couldn’t. In those moments he remembered the question he wasn’t able to ask his mother: ‘if you died, do you think anyone would ever love me, mom?’ His mother loved him, and she died, just like Isabel and Farlan, he couldn’t love you, because he’ll end up losing you, the same way he lost everyone else.

           He was loveless.

           But you weren’t, and you found someone to do what he couldn’t do, someone to love you like you deserved.

           He didn’t know a lot about them. You looked happier and that was all he cared about. He thought that seeing you with another person would calm his heart and his desires, but they only got worse, there was no way of forgetting about you. You were everywhere.

           ‘C’mon Levi, do something.’ 

          ‘Didn’t I tell you to drop it, Hange?’

           His visits stopped but you kept waiting for him, hoping he would come to his senses. You didn’t get it, you really didn’t. He had the opportunity, he could have taken the chance to be with you, but he didn’t, so you moved on, or tried to, you didn’t love your partner, but you could see yourself falling in love with them. However, you still missed Levi, not as a potential lover, but as a friend. The way he erased you from his life as you were nothing broke your heart. What did he want from you?

           He wanted everything. He wanted all of you and yet he couldn’t do anything about it. He was just frozen in time while you kept moving. He met your partner, they came to visit you once, they were gentle and loving, they looked at you like you were the brightest star in the firmament. They held your hand and kissed your lips. They did all the things he wanted to do. He was jealous, but he didn’t have the right to say something, he had never had the right.

           The way he looked at you made you feel guilty, like you were betraying him, and you were so confused and annoyed and angry and mad, and you really wanted to punch him in the face. So, you went to his room that night and stormed in.

           ‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’ 

           ‘I should be asking that, I’m not the one barging in someone else’s room with no previous invitation.’

           He had never seen you like that, so mad and full of rage and it was all directed to him and he knew it was his fault.

           ‘What do you want of me, Levi?’

           He wanted everything.

           He wanted you.

           ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. Could you please stop making me lose my time?’

           He saw it in your face, that was the last straw.

           ‘You’re selfish, an asshole, a prick and a lot of other things. But above it all, you’re a fucking coward, so much for Humanity’s Strongest. For fucks sake, Levi, I loved you, I still do, but I can’t keep waiting for someone who is too scared to do something about it. I want you and you want me too. What’s stopping you?’

           He remembered again, the question he never had the chance to ask: ‘if you died, do you think anyone would ever love me, mom?’

           You loved him and you weren’t scared of it. But he was, and you were about to leave the room. You turned your back on him and it was now or never. He had to choose: would he let you walk away definitely of his life or would he do something?

           For once, he didn’t think, he didn’t listen to his head, he listened to his heart. For so long he made himself believe that he didn’t have a heart, but his heart was right there, beating for you.

           He kissed you and you kissed him back.

           ‘Mine.’ 

          ‘Yours.’

5. EROS or Passionate love

           You both were private people, you didn’t want people talking about your relationship during its first stages, what you had was precious and new and you wanted to protect it from the world a little longer. That’s why no one really knew about the whole ordeal, well, they knew that something had shifted because you could be in the same room without making everyone uncomfortable with your unsolved issues, but they couldn’t pinpoint what had exactly changed, they just guessed that you sorted everything out, finally.

           However, Hange did know what changed. She prided herself on knowing Levi, after many years working with him she had learned that Levi only talked through his body language, so she started paying attention to what his body said instead of listening to the words he spewed. Therefore, when she asked him if he was dating you and he said a short no, he knew he was lying. She noticed how he seemed more at ease, how you had broken up with your partner, the way he would gravitate towards you and that when he looked at you, his eyes weren’t filled with longing and remorse, they were shinier and less cold than usual. So, she obviously knew that something was up, but she kept quiet. She may talk way too much, and people could find her annoying, but at the end of the day she was a good friend, and she would respect that neither of you wanted to make things public.

           Keeping things private was harder than he originally thought, he was distant and cold to everyone, but he couldn’t be cold and distant with you when you made him burn inside and he could only think about holding you close. It was weird for him, he had spent so many years deprived of touch that he couldn’t imagine himself getting addicted to it, but he was wrong, so wrong.

           You knew that Levi was touch starved, you didn’t need to be a genius to notice. When you picked up his body language and started hearing about his childhood, everything came together: his mother died when he was very young, the most paternal figure he had was toxic and abusive to him and since Isabel and Farlan he didn’t let anyone in easily. Levi wasn’t used to someone doting him and you knew that if you started showering him with affection, it would probably scare him off a little, and that was the last thing you wanted. So, you started slowly: holding hands, gentle caresses, kisses in his cheek, hugs, light pecks on the lips and when you saw that he started getting more comfortable, things started scaling on their own, you let him mark the pace. It wasn’t a quick process, but it was worth it.

           After a few months, Levi couldn’t keep his hands of you and he surely didn’t want you to keep your hands off him. This was a new kind of love, at first, on the early stages of your relationship it was playful, but then it evolved into something more passionate: quick pecks turned into open mouthed kisses; holding hands innocently turned into holding you close while you came undone under him again and again; kisses now went lower and lower, exploring new parts of you that he hadn’t seen and that no one else would. He didn’t think that touch could mean so much to him, but it did now, and he knew that couldn’t ever go back to a touchless life where you wouldn’t be there to love him.

6. PHILAUTIA or Self-love

          He wasn’t neither deaf, blind or stupid. He could hear what people had to say about your relationship, how you deserved better than him; he could see his reflection on the mirror and how he wasn’t beautiful, at least not as much as you, he wasn’t the male that would make people swoon and he knew that you could have any man or female you wanted, but you chose him, out of every other person, you decided to be with him. He was a lucky bastard and you didn’t make good decisions, what a match.

           You would look at him like he held the stars in the sky, and you would touch him like he was about to disappear in any moment, as if he were a dream you were afraid to wake up from. He didn’t get why him, he wasn’t the most handsome, nor the nicest, nor the easiest to love, and you still decided to keep him around. He liked to think that he was smart or cleverer than the average, and yet he couldn’t grasp his head around that the fact you loved him and just him, and that was it, it was as simple as that.

           Whenever you heard the things people said about your partner, you went feral, because you knew all those comments fueled the self-hate Levi had. Being loveless for so long it obviously affected the perception he had of himself and you wanted to change that, because he deserved it, he deserved all the happiness in this dull world. He liked to play strong, but you saw through him, and even though he never acted upon them, it hurt him. You wished he could see himself through you eyes, because it caused you pain the mere idea of him thinking less of himself, that he wasn’t worthy of your love.

           You would tell him every day how much you loved him, as if you were reciting a prayer to your own god.

           ‘I love you.’

           ‘You’re beautiful.’

           ‘I could stare at you for the rest of my life.’

           ‘I don’t know what I would do without you.’

           You would tell him that he needed to love himself, see the good inside of him, he guessed that that was one the types of love he had yet to discover: self-love. He didn’t see himself capable of loving himself nearly the half of how much you loved him.

           ‘You know one reason why you should love yourself, because you make me the happiest I’ve ever been.’

              He didn’t love himself, not yet, but if he was able to make you smile like that, he couldn’t be that unworthy of you.

7. STORGE or Familiar love

              He had been avoiding love for as long as he could remember, and then you burst into his life with the force of a typhoon. Love had found him, and he couldn’t get away, you never can, it was a lesson that he had finally accepted.

             For so long he saw love as something unnecessary, a burden for the soul. Love ruins you, it stabs you on the back, whenever he let his walls down, love would always take advantage of it and destroy him, bringing him closer to insanity, he had lost himself too many times by loving people and when he met you, he did not want the cycle to repeat itself. He didn’t want more Kuchels, Kennys, Isabels and Farlans, love was merciless, and he wasn’t interested in it, at least that was what he told to himself every day, that he was better off alone. Was all the pain worth it? He thought love came with a high price and he couldn’t afford it. However, things change, life happens, destiny has always something in the store, well, in his case he had someone.

           You were his everything, the beacon that brought light in his life, for so long he had been lost, walking amongst shadows, nearly becoming one, and when you appeared you changed the rules of the game, of his game. Every wall he had built around himself came down and you filled every gap his heart was missing. It was the scariest thing he had ever done, letting you in, letting someone in, giving someone else the control of his own heart. You knew the power you held between your hands and you never abused it. You were his solace in this mad world, the oasis in the middle of the desert.

         Loving him was not easy, he knew it, he was rude, sharp, too closed off, mean, he was what people liked to call a ‘fucking jerk’ and yet you never gave up on him, on what you had. Instead of leaving when you had the chance, you stayed through thick and thin: through sleepless nights, through his bad moods and grumpiness, through his biting remarks… .You didn’t ran way, you were too stubborn for that, instead you taught him more forms of love.

         You were all of the ones he knew and more.

         You were selfless, giving him every part of you and loving him with everything you had to offer.

         You were his best friend, his companion, the better half of him.

         You were playful, joyous, probably the only thing that could make him smile and bring him happiness.

         You were consuming, like a fire burning inside of him.

         You were passionate, intoxicating.

         You were every form of love he had ever experienced, but nothing could have ever prepared him for the kind of love he was experiencing in that moment: the familiar one. The one you feel when you hold your newborn in your trembling hands. It was something he couldn’t describe, there weren’t words for it, he tried to, but he failed every single time.

         This was the way his mom loved him, and then he knew how much he had meant for his own mother. While holding little Kuchel on his arms, he remembered all those days and nights on that dirty brothel, all the hours he spent by his mother’s side, how she would do everything to give him the best life and he soon realized there was nothing in this world he wouldn’t do for his daughter. It wasn’t the best of times to have a child, but in that moment, in that precise instant, when Kuchel opened her grey eyes, he was sure of one thing: he would tear everything and everyone down only to see her smile.

        A knock on the door. Another one. Two minutes passed and then Hange, followed by Erwin, entered in the room.

       ‘Tch, Shitty-glasses, who gave you permission to come in?’ 

       ‘My authority as a god-mother.’

       ‘Don’t make me regret it.’

      ‘She’s beautiful, what’s her name?’ 

     ‘Her name is Kuchel.’

     Kuchel was his new world, he loved her so much that it was overwhelming, he would never love someone as much as he loved her, and no one would probably love with the same devotion Levi Ackerman loved his daughter.

    ‘You know, Kuchel, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I promise you that you will have the best life a man like me can give you. I may be a little cold, perhaps a little strict and you will probably get mad at me sometimes, but no matter what happens, I will love you through everything. And by the way, no dating until I’m dead because no brat will be good enough for you. You deserve the world Kuchel and I’ll give you everything it has to offer. Things may get hard, you aren’t born in the best circumstances, but I’ll protect you because you deserve the life I couldn’t live.’

     Kuchel’s first word was ‘dadda’.

     Kuchel’s first steps were pointed towards his father.

     Kuchel’s favorite pastime was being in his father’s arms.

     Kuchel could only sleep after his father had kissed her forehead.

     And Kuchel would never love someone as much as he loved his father, because she loved him as much as he loved her.

8. PRAGMA or Enduring love

           He was old and wrinkly, he was scarred, mutilated and there were days he couldn’t sleep because the nightmares were too real. But he was happy, he was married to the most beautiful and special person he had ever met, he had a loving daughter, a bunch of brats he was proud to call grandchildren and the tea shop he had always dreamed about.

           Life hadn’t been fair to him. He had lost so many people he cared about, he had fought a war and he had had the weight of the world on his shoulders. But, after all, after the tortures, the adversities, the deaths… He had people who loved and whom he loved.

          Love was worth it. He had finally learned that.

          At his seventies he found out about the last kind of love, the enduring, the one that lasts and survives in time. He loved his family above everything, and he would love them long after his bones turn into ashes and no one remembers his name.

         Then he recalled that question he never got to ask his mother: ‘if you died, do you think anyone would ever love me, mom?’

         He looked at the sky and smiled.

        ‘After all someone was fool enough to love me mom, who would have thought?’

         A gentle breeze caressed his skin and a single tear fell from his eye.

        ‘I guess that’s the way you have of answering the question.’

[sylvie-writes]

Dr. Husband

word count: 5278

pairing: doctor steve rogers x wife reader

warnings: talks about heat exhaustion? there’s nothing graphic, but if the hospital theme bothers you, then this isn’t the fic to read!

prompts (from @/fluffyomlette): “Your pulse is a little high. Is it because I’m holding your hand?” and “You’re not supposed to pick favourites, doc.” “Trust me, if I didn’t, you’d be dead by now.”

a/n: this just popped in my head about a month ago and i had to write it for no explainable reason. i really couldn’t think of a title oops. if you all have a better idea please tell me so i can change it lol.

please excuse any mistakes!

Summer was finally in full force, blazing sun rays beamed down on the dry ground and once gorgeous flowers drooped in dire need of water. Sounds of children playing outside, pool water splashing as a result of cannonballs, while lawnmowers whirled to life and laughter from the watching wives resounded this afternoon. In your neighborhood, it was tradition that the women would get together every other Saturday and have drinks in the cul-de-sac while their husbands had unsaid competitions of manicuring their yards. Unfortunately for you, your husband was a doctor and that meant little time for him to do the yard, and you didn’t have children at the moment that could go play with the others. The women who were your neighbors were a bit too picky choosy for your taste. They only seemed to bond over their children and sitting around home, two of which you didn’t have or do, so you weren’t ever truly invited to their day-drinking. It was actually fine with you as these people were so hot n’cold and you were just tired of trying to fit in with faux friends. You had plenty of true friends and then your husband who was a child of his own.

For three weekends so far, Steve had told you he’d cut the lawn and as much as you wanted to believe him, you knew that he was so exhausted from work and being on call a majority of the time, that he would never find the hours to do so. That was okay with you because what he did was important and you weren’t gonna be on his ass like the feds about the yard when you could easily do it yourself. It wasn’t like he was just sitting around, no, he was working so you just decided to cut the lawn yourself, something you’d done plenty of times before. 

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Unfortunately the day you chose to do so, the sun was out blazing and a simple walk out the door was a trip to an off-brand hell. Instead of making a wise decision and waiting to cut the grass in the evening, you chose the latter and decided to cut the grass at noon, the very time the sun was in full shine. 

Dressed in attire for yard work and having already eaten a sandwich for lunch, you headed out the garage door to tackle the mess there in hopes of finding the push mower within. Steve’s father, Joseph, had given you both a lot of his lawn equipment, but the riding mower was broken at the moment and you (again) stupidly decided to push mow the almost two acre lawn. It took a good half hour to get the darned thing out on the driveway and while doing so, you noticed that your neighbors, the wives to be exact, had decided to come out for one of their occasional and somehow spontaneous get-togethers which consisted of unattended kids drawing with chalk as their mothers sat a few feet away dipping their feet in the small splash pool. You often found the idea both inventive and funny. 

For only a second more did you let your attention linger on the group before returning back to fill the lawn mower with gasoline. After doing so, you tossed on a pair of sunglasses and went full steam ahead with cutting the grass, disregarding the rising, and very unsafe, temperature. 

About an hour in, the temp had already risen to be above 100 and something no one should have spent any longer than half an hour in. Steve had always said you were stubborn at all the wrong times and boy was he right. You had just finished up half of the front yard and quarter of the back yard. It was mad that you were actually thinking about pushing mowing two acres, especially in this unruly weather. 

You were so determined and when your mind was set on something, you let all other matters slip away, including regards for your own health. The unusual amount of sweat on your skin seemed to go unnoticed by you as well did the growing headache. 

Finally, about half an hour later, more of the backyard was finished and your inner saboteur continued to influence your goals. 

“Just finish this half and you will be close enough to the end,” translated into “Just finish the whole yard, you might as well since you are this close.” 

This was the worst mindset to have, especially with the given circumstances as you had been out here for at least two hours, no drinks of any sort, no real breaks aside from fueling the lawn mower, and no cares to the worsening symptoms that now included noticeable dizziness. 

The lawn mower eventually ran out of gas and you went to refill it once more. Making your way through the front yard, your unknown adrenaline rush came to an end along with the machine’s power. It wasn’t until your vision started to star and blur that you finally noticed your decline in health, but by then it was too late and you were on the plush and groomed grass of the front yard. Ironically, you noticed the fruits of your labor since you were currently laying on it.

Five minutes had passed since your drop to the ground and one of the ladies out in the court, Genevieve, noticed your figure, quite the contrast to the viridescent grass. Despite that she thought you were “demented” for cutting the grass yourself, she knew you weren’t unhinged, so to say, that you would just lay on the grass as it would serve no purpose to do so. She didn’t take you for a nature lover either so this was not normal. 

Genevieve squatted down in the lawn, her sparkly sandals reflecting in the sea of green. Unknowing of what to do, the woman in a panic threw the back of her hand to your forehead and you burned hotter than a metal kettle. By time she stood, the other ladies had gathered around and were now circling in mass hysteria as if they were staring at a dead body and not your unconscious, yet breathing frame. Many long seconds later, Priscilla, who was Genevieve’s closest friend and who despised you as much as you did her, decided to call 911. The other moms then left to go usher their children away from what they described as a “traumatic experience” and back to their large homes for some sort of last minute luncheon. 

Eventually, an ambulance arrived in your usually quiet neighborhood, something that was clearly displayed as almost every neighbor popped their heads out of their houses in sheer curiosity. Their nosey nature often bothered you but was normally put behind some sort of service act such as a baked cake or bottle of wine just to be invited into your house. You didn’t miss the way your neighbors would study your house when they were finally welcomed in. Steve was much better at hiding his cross nature and would return some compassion of his own while you struggled to bottle your annoyance and sealed it with a forced smile. As luck would have it though, you were knocked out and couldn’t give them a piece of your mind for staring because heavens know this would’ve been the last straw and no one could have stopped your rant. 

It was when you were in the red wagon and being attended over by paramedics that you noticed you were on the way to somewhere that wasn’t home. 

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 At the hospital, the doctor and nurses hydrated you back to reality and suddenly you appeared in a bed, a doctor standing at the side with a clipboard in hand allowing your mind to draw up a million conclusions before you remembered what you had done last. 

The doctor spoke a fast introduction and he then moved on to fill you in on what had happened as confusion still painted your face although when he told you Genevieve’s account of what led up to your ultimate passing out, you visibly cringed at such carelessness that ended up bringing you here. Hundreds of falls, burns, and bruises thanks to your clumsy nature, but this had to be the one thing to send you to the hospital. Some sort of twisted joke it sure was. 

Moving to roll a stool to your bedside, the doctor passed you a cold bottle of water before bringing his eyes to give your IV a quick check as a nurse had put it in not too long before you awoke. 

“Luckily, Mrs. Rogers, your neighbors found you in time and you only experienced severe heat exhaustion. Had you prolonged your exposure anymore you could have experienced a heat stroke. For now, I ask that you rest and I’ll come back to release you.” The doctor expressed his reassurance with a kind grin before walking out of the plain and boxy room that could make one go insane with its lack of liveliness. 

Staring out the open doorway and into the empty hallway, you knew that Steve worked on this very floor, but honestly what were the chances that he’d see you? At one point he’d eventually find out about today’s mishaps, but that was a problem for later when you were more conscious and caring. Letting your worries temporarily go (something that was only happening thanks to your fatigued mind), you slightly shifted into a somewhat “comfortable” position on the stiff bed and rough cotton sheets. Albeit that there was an IV uncomfortably stuck in your arm, you fell into a much needed slumber. 

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Lunch break at last. 

That was all that had been on Steve's mind for the past three hours which had been extremely hectic. Granted, he was used to this fast-paced workplace having worked here for almost a decade, but today was absolutely out of control with injured patients coming in left and right. It wasn’t some sort of bad omen, rather just an unlucky day for many Steve had assumed. He had just finished up with a pediatric case and was now on his way to enjoy the leftover baked chicken salsa that you had made just for him last night and packed for his lunch this morning. You knew how busy his week had been and you took the liberty to make his favorite dinner dish to compensate for the work that had left such a toll on him. A smile immediately overtook his face when he walked in the house last night and that’s when you decided that you would gladly cook anything he’d like over and over again just to see that look of adoration. As Steve held you in his arms at that moment, he kept thinking how he really didn’t deserve you and little did he know, the same thought ran in your own mind. Yet, in reality, you both went together like a puzzle piece to a puzzle. Without the piece, the picture would never be completed and without the other, you and Steve would have never enjoyed life to the fullest. 

Strutting down the never ending hall, Steve passed many doors, some he had been in just a mere hour or two ago. As he walked past an open door and did a double take as he saw a patient asleep, but no sign of anyone else in the room. If he were that patient, he’d want the door shut for some privacy, something which the man highly valued, so he crossed the short distance and closed the door. He didn’t mean to look at the patient for so long as they weren’t in his care and that would be awfully creepy, but Steve could help but do a double take and noticed that the familiar face was, in fact, you. From first glance it didn’t even look like you and that was coming from the man who had studied your face just to commit it to his memory. In a loving way, of course. 

He slowly walked in your room, taking in the image before him of you lying in a hospital bed. His mind had assumed that the worst thing had happened to you and for a moment, Steve’s breathing ceased and his legs were glued to the ground. As his eyes scanned over your body again, his fears were calmed when there were no visible wounds and you just seemed to be resting. Although as a doctor, he unfortunately knew anything could be possible. 

Hunching over the top half of the bed, Steve smoothed your stray hairs away from your forehead and placed an awakening kiss there. You were a light sleeper a majority of the time and your spouse knew that this small action would wake, but not startle you. Every night he’d come home from work and do the same thing except then he knew you were safe and sound. Now, he was just filled with uncertainty. 

“What happened?” Those were the only words he was able to get out and you gave him an answer, just not one that he was looking for. You were already getting defensive and he could sense it.

“Genevieve saw me pass out in the yard and overreacted, Steven. You know they all don’t exactly have good track records with medicine.” You rolled your eyes at the last statement remembering how your neighbors have often nonchalantly tried to get Steve to diagnose them when it came to something as simple as a scrape. Then again, all of your neighbors were in the business industry so that explained their lack of medical knowledge or at least that is the excuse you drew up for them. 

“Nice try, (y/n), but you do have a medical chart and it’s over there,” Steve pointed over his shoulder and towards the doorway where a plastic chart holder sat mounted on the cream wall. “You didn’t just pass out, and the neighbors did not overreact. They did the right thing despite how much I know you hate that. Now, either you tell me the truth or I go read that file.” His tone was serious, but not condescending. Hidden in his eyes was a tad sprinkle of mischief.

Stubborn as ever, you didn’t respond and folded your arms over your chest in a form of defiance. 

Against what is probably legal, Steve picked up your medical chart to read what had happened as you wouldn’t disclose the information to him. Your husband was a worry-wart sometimes and while you appreciated how he doctored you when you were sick, he could be a bit overbearing. A great example would be the time when you were cooking dinner and burned your forearm when taking the casserole out of the oven. 

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“Babe, dinner is ready!” 

The timer on the oven was currently beeping and you walked towards it. Turning off both the oven and the timer, you grabbed a short oven mitt and reached in to grab the casserole dish off the top rack. As you did so, you lifted your arm a bit too high and hit the side of your forearm on the interior roof of the oven. The temperature was ridiculously hot and the pain was immensely strong that you immediately pulled your arm back, the casserole long forgotten. 

Steve came running in at your string of curses and came in to see you holding your arm and hissing a bit as if that would relieve the pain. He walked closer to you as you leaned up against the island. Your husband delicately took your arm in his hand, raking his eyes over the burn that was soon to blister. 

After a short inspection, Steve placed his other hand on the small over your back and led you to the sink, flipping on the cold water and running it over your burn. Out of the corner of his eye, Steve could see you squeezing your own eyes shut in pain. 

“I know, sweetheart, it hurts, I’m sorry.” He continued to rinse your scalded skin, but turned his head to sweetly kiss your temple. 

A few minutes passed and Steve was content with the rinse job as you had finally opened your eyes, even engaging in some of your jokes that were always said at the wrong time. From the kitchen, the man guided you down the hallway, through your bedroom and into your joined bathroom. He sat you on the edge of the bathroom tub while rummaging through your unorganized medicine cabinet. It was barely ever touched and when it was, it was often in a state of panic hence the messiness of it. Fortunately, Steve found a tube of bacitracin and some cotton dressings from God knows how long ago. At this point he could care less and would rather have you cared for. 

You curiously watched him as he dug through the cabinet and a loving smile grew on your face. How lucky were you to have this man. You were really appreciative of him in times like these especially. 

Said man returned and crouched before you, distracting you from your thoughts as he softly grabbed your hand once more. 

The doctor worked his magic and in no time was your arm wrapped up and lathered in ointment.

“Wow Doc, you did a great job.” Steve was still holding your hand as you quietly giggled in content. He placed a kiss on top of your knuckles and peered up at you with those gorgeous (and borderline seductive) sapphire eyes. Chuckling, Steve murmured against your skin, “Only for my favorite patient.” 

As always, you decided to play along with Steve’s playful banter. “You’re not supposed to pick favorites, doc.” 

Your husband knew your clumsy nature and seemed to have the perfect response, “Trust me, if I didn’t, you’d be dead by now.”

With your non-injured hand you went to hit his shoulder and he grabbed it in faux hurt. 

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“You know, Dr. Rogers, that is a violation and I can actually report you for it.” You lifted your line of sight to see Steve who looked back at you with his lips pressed in a fine line. He shook his head disapprovingly after reaching the end of the report and now looked like he was going to sit back in the seat beside your bed. 

“Hey, what are you doing? They already examined me and I am about to get released.” The man ignored you and instead leaned over the flimsy bed railing. Steve rubbed his hands together in a warming manner before placing two fingers on your next in an attempt to find your pulse. He unfortunately carried that common trait among doctors of having hands that were colder than that of a penguin’s ass. You knew very well this pulse check was useless as you were in conditional health and that he was probably doing this to annoy you. 

“Well I like to do a check of my own. It never hurts to get a second opinion, darling.” Blue eyes squinted at you and you returned the patronizing gesture. 

The free hand that was not on your neck had found its way to hold your own hand and when your husband pulled back, he wore a smug smirk on his lips. 

“Your pulse is a little high. Is it because I’m holding your hand?” 

“You know, your shoulders must hurt from carrying such a big head all the time.” Steve had the nerve to laugh at your elementary grade insult and even though you weren’t really mad, your face would have said otherwise to anyone else. 

“So I’ll take that as a yes then, wifey.” He then quickly dropped to press a chaste kiss to your lips before releasing your hand and sitting down in the chair. 

Looking to the clock on the wall, you focused your vision on the distant numbers to read that it was most likely Steve’s lunch break.

“Are you spending your lunch break with me?” Your tone was now sweet and soft as it usually was towards Steve and his heart leaped at the progress being made. 

“It seems that I am. ‘Was really looking forward to that chicken salsa, though.” A heap of blonde hair rested on your hand that Steve had now laid his head against, still holding tight with both of his own hands. You giggled at his dramatics and ruffled a free hand through his greasy hair. 

“I haven’t eaten anything, you think you could spend your lunch break with me?” His head popped up at this and his face held the eagerness of an energetic puppy. 

“Of course, sweetheart. We can head to the cafeteria. Hopefully they have something good for my girl.” It was now your turn for your heart to swell at his words. Not even a second later though, the sentimental moment was replaced with Steve’s usual sarcastic humor. 

“See, I love you so much that I am willing to sacrifice my precious chicken salsa just to have lunch with you. You should be grateful to have me as your husband.” Steve’s pearly whites beamed at you in a cheesy smile and you gave a dismissive wave of your hand. 

The two of you talked and enjoyed the rare time together for the next ten minutes until Steve noticed you shifting to sit up against the pillows. He thought nothing of it until suddenly you were throwing your legs over the side of the bed and making to get out of the so called cotton prison. 

Waving a finger, Steve tutted you and hurriedly scooped your legs back onto the bed. You looked absolutely peeved and Steve knew it was from the way that he was treating you like a child or better yet, a patient. His wife, the fighter and he, the doctor. Two unlikely personalities but ones that worked best together nonetheless. This made Steve laugh whenever he thought about it.

“You can get up the minute you get released by the doc, okay?” Caring eyes now gave you a pleading look and you felt a small tinge of guilt crawling up your chest at how mean you had been to your husband when he has only been trying to help. 

A knock on the wooden door signaled a visit from the one person you had been waiting on for what seemed to be ages. 

“Speak of the devil.” Muttering the phrase so only Steve could hear you gave him an “I told you so” kind of look. 

The Doctor looked up from the same clipboard as earlier to greet you once he made it in through the doorway, but he was surely surprised by the figure sitting in the chair beside you. 

“Oh Dr. Rogers, what a surprise! So this is your wife I presume? I guess I should have put two and two together,” Your doctor of the moment laughed with Steve who added in a chuckle or two of his own. 

“Yep, this is Mrs. Rogers!” Steve didn’t look at you, but lovingly squeezed your hand that was resting against his, “We are quite the handful so I am surprised you couldn’t tell that she was my other half.” A snicker ended his words and you couldn’t help but do the same. 

Once the short introductions were over, the doctor walked over to do a speedy final exam on what was necessary as Steve watched from the sidelines still getting used to the idea of not being the one doing the examination. He hadn’t been in any other position in the hospital for such a long time that it took some time to get used to the fact that he wasn’t the one diagnosing and rather waiting for the diagnosis. 

The doctor pulled away from hovering over you and now sat back on his rolling leather stool, scooting his way over to the computer and desk. 

“Well I must say, (y/n), that you definitely live up to some of the stories your husband tells.” The other man in the white coat finished up his typing before turning back around to face you and his colleague. 

“Ah, I hope he’s giving me some good street cred,” You teased and from the side you saw Steve shaking his head and chuckling under his breath. 

“I assure you that they were all good things.” With that, the doctor formally released you, walking out of the room to give you some time to redress and such.

You went to get out of the bed for the nth time, but finally succeeded. Your legs felt a bit wobbly upon the first step, and Steve noticed this. He came up to stand beside you and placed a hand on your lower back with the other out in front in case you did fall. Placing your own hand on his scrub clad chest to steady yourself, you silently thanked him with a tender pat. 

With Steve’s guidance, you went to change out of the wretched paper gown and into your shorts and shirt from working outside. It wasn’t exactly the most flattering outfit but at this moment you could care less for the only thing on your mind was getting out of this room.

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The ride in the elevator seemed to move slower than a snail and almost stopped on every floor. You were so crammed by the time you were only on the fifth floor that you used this as an excuse to lean up against Steve. He rubbed your arm and enveloped you in a side hug and planted a kiss on your head. The two of you never cared for PDA but neither of you had realized the onlooking eyes. 

You found it mildly comedic when some of your fellow passengers seemed disgusted that a doctor was handling a patient in such a way. It was definitely gonna be a joke for later on. 

Eventually you made it to the first floor and begrudgingly pushed yourself out of Steve’s warm embrace when the smell of garlic bread hit your nose. 

“Huh, they never cook spaghetti around here. They must know we have a special guest today.” Steve pressed his lips against your ear to jokingly whisper to you as he ushered you out the elevator doors. 

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Standing in line with a plastic tray at the cafeteria made you have flashbacks to middle school lunch and you shuddered at the thought. The memories played back in your mind like a movie and were interrupted (much to your relief) when Steve tapped your shoulder.

“You want this?” Steve held one of the plastic salad containers in hand, the white sleeve of his lab coat draped on top of the other stacked bowls in the open air freezer. 

You nodded and he placed it on your tray, slightly bumping your hips as he walked past to grab a drink.

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For a good twenty minutes, you and Steve sat in comfortable silence in one of the booths until clicking clogs came closer and closer. So close that a shadow loomed over your table conveying that someone was here to speak. 

“Dr. Rogers, I don’t think it’s entirely wise of you to have lunch with your patient. Actually, it’s quite inappropriate.” The older woman in burgundy scrubs pointed her gaze to the hospital band on your wrist and both you and Steve started laughing upon noticing. So that explained all the weird looks.

“Oh no, Dr. Williams! This is my wife (y/n),” You politely beamed up at the woman and set out your hand for a handshake. At this, her unenthusiastic expression changed to one of apologetic and she shook your hand with much grief as Steve continued on with his introductions. 

“(y/n), this is Dr. Williams. She is the medical director for my department.” 

“Wow! I’ve heard many wonderful things about you, Dr. Williams.” She went to return the praise before a beeping in her coat pocket signaled the time for her departure. 

“Duty calls, but I’ll have you know this one here never shuts up about you. It was nice to finally put a face to a name, (y/n),” You glanced at Steve and noticed he was sheepishly grinning and turning redder by the second. So much so that he was hiding his face in his palms.

““I hope you have a quick recovery as well, hon!” The standing woman gave you a nod of her head and then turned to your husband whose face had finally regained its color. “As for you Steven, I will see you later. You have another resident to deal with today.” Dr. Williams sighed at the thought, waving you both goodbye and soon enough she was out the double doors of the lunch room. 

“Ooh babe you’ll have to tell me how all of that goes.” Spooning some spaghetti into your mouth, you goofily raised your eyebrows at Steve. 

“Trust me, it is not fun at all. When I was a resident, I would have never acted like some of the people I’ve trained!” 

You snorted, “Uh huh. Sureee.” 

“No really,” Steve’s eyes widened and he leaned over the table like he was sharing some sort of secret with you, “The audacity of some of these people.” 

“I think you are just an old man now, Stevie, and can’t keep up with the times.” The blond screwed up his eyes and stuck his tongue out at you. 

“Oh hush and finish your food, Miss. ‘I am soooo young’.” A napkin flew at Steve’s chest and the two of you laughed at the childish antics that had just ensued. 

Just as both of your styrofoam containers became empty, an unpleasant ringer sounded in Steve’s pocket, just like the one of Dr. Williams’s departure. Once he gave the screen a swift peek, he looked back up at you with a long face. 

“You gotta go?” Golden strands bobbed up and down as Steve nodded and you grabbed his hand. 

“It’s alright! Thank you for spending the time with me today, though. I really appreciate it. Thanks for putting up with me, you know how I am sometimes.”  

The larger hand encompassing yours gave a sympathetic squeeze. 

“Oh darling, anytime, you know that. If you need anything, call me okay? I will try my best to answer.” 

The temporary silence that filled the room was now replaced by annoying buzzing from the device that Steve had silenced for the moment. He irritability took it out and shoved it back in his pocket. Normally this didn’t bother Steve because this was his job, but since you were here, having just been sick, he wanted nothing more than to drop everything and focus on you. Knowing that was impossible, he tried his best to juggle both yet it seemed that the world wasn’t gonna wait on him. 

“Do you want me to call Ma to come get you? I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. Her and Dad love your company.” For the moment, Steve appeared to look like he was ignoring the constant beeping, but you knew internally he was already out of the cafeteria and sprinting down the halls.

“No no, I’m fine, honey,” The doctor stared at you as if he didn’t believe you. “I mean it, Steve. I am fine. Now shoo.” 

Dr. Rogers shared another laugh with you before pecking your lips and running out the room shouting, “I’ll see you later!” 

He really was too good for this world. 

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a/n: i really enjoyed writing for doctor!steve, so if anyone has any ideas that involves him and that you’d like me to write, send it in! <3

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