#lucan de Bhaldraithe x reader

[pugwitharug]

MC Petting The Ilephtas, Part One: The Fluffies

I miss having something soft and warm to pet, so I'm making this to compensate. And I also need to separate this post or else I'm never gonna finish this

GN Reader, I debated putting Anisa on here since she's half-Ilephta but I'm not sure if she would get the reaction I'm going for lol, you're dating them in the different scenarios because yes, I miss them and I want them to come home from the war, they gonna be somft......because I said so

🐱Sage Lesath🐱

He's a big physical touch guy, we all know that. He's constantly rubbing himself against you, scent marking you, smelling your own unique and lovely scent, seeing how red you can get when he inconspicuously squeezes your ass lol

And we know it's canon he likes getting his ears rubbed so

*grabby hands* gib me kibby ears

You know that special way he likes it, cupping his ears in your hands while your fingers rub against the thin skin, feeling the heat of his blood rushing through as you massage them. His eyes flutter closed and he lets out a long purr as you sit in his lap, his hands cradling your hips

He especially loves it after long days of hunting down bounties and hitting the taverns and whatnot

I think.......if you pet him before he goes to sleep he'll sleep better and I don't think this poor man has a good sleep schedule

KISS 👏 THE 👏 TOP 👏 OF 👏 HE 👏 HEAD 👏

Mess around with his hair! It helps him calm down! Just don't hit a tangle or he'll bite you. Nom nom

Do you think Ilephta hair is sort of a different quality than normal human hair? Like, I don't know, is it softer than human hair naturally? I'm gonna say yes because I can

You joke that you'd sleep better if you had a pillow stuffed with Sage's hair. He laughs but you notice him trying to push his braid behind his back

Normally touching his tail is a sign of smexy times for him but when he turns around with a smirk and wiggling eyebrows and he sees you innocently twirling around his tail fur he feels guilty

Overall 9/10, wonderful petting experience until he bites you

🐯Lucan de Bhaldraithe 🐯

I looked it up specifically for this and tigers can't purr, but you know if he could he'd be like a fucking lawnmower

He likes it best when you massage his scalp! After a long day he plops his head in your lap and you work your magic fingers on him and he's in heaven

His ears are so fluffy omg. I think they're a little less sensitive than Sage's so you can mess around with them a little more

Run your fingers through his hair...........please 🥺

His hair is so soft, it's a little sad he doesn't have long hair cuz you would have a free blanket

Also please rub his back. I headcanon he has back pain from carrying those fat badonkadonks because the human spine is an architectural nightmare so give him a massage. Rub his back as he tells you about his day. His tail will wag happily

Speaking of his tail he's constantly having it touch you. Wrapped around your leg, your waist, your wrist, your arm, even just letting the fluffy bit tickle your back

Actually I don't think tigers have a fluffy bit on their tail but...I don't care he's gonna be a fluffy boi

His hair is like, a little more smooth than soft if you rub it in the right direction. Like velvet, with a little more poof. I read that a tiger's fur gets more coarse as they get older but Lucan isn't that old

He be just..........babie

🗡️Elowen de Bhaldraithe🗡️

Look, she has a reputation to uphold. If you're out in public and you try to pet her, she will put on her unbreakable poker face

But at home? Hoo boy

Is she a mountain lion? I don't know but I'm saying yes because they can purr and I think that's adorable

She doesn't have as loud of a purr as Sage does, but it's nice and soft. Good to listen to as you fall asleep

BRAID HER HAIR! It reminds her of Lucan when they were young, when he would always mess with her hair as he tells her about every single little detail of his day. It's useful for work too :3

Her tail........it looks soft and sleek, and it is, but it's also pretty strong. Not prehensile, but she can pick up certain items that might seem too heavy

She likes shoulder rubs! It's canon now! Massage her shoulders after a long day and she'll melt into you

She's not a big snuggler but if you're having a bad day she'll offer her head for you to pet and mess with

I also think she tends to bite if you snag your fingers or your comb on a tangle, or growl at you at least but she doesn't really mean it

Or does she.........?

I love her, my wifey. I'm married to (almost) everyone in LL lol

🐇Tulsi Ain🐇

She knows people want to pet her, but when she was younger she probably had some experiences with people petting her, then swiping something of hers while she was distracted, so she might not always be up to being pet

But she'll make a special exception for you. She trusts you :3

The fur on her ears isn't super long but it can get tangled sometimes. Gently comb her hair after she wakes up. She likes it, but she might fall back asleep lol

Does she have a little bunny tail? I hope she has a bunny tail. Little wiggle wiggle

She gets embarrassed if you pat it. But please do. Do us all a service

ALSO👏 KISS👏 THE👏 TOP👏 OF👏 SHE👏 HEAD👏

I think she prefers full body cuddles as opposed to rubs on individual parts, but she won't complain if you decide to do that

But her hands.........hold them........kiss them..........cherish them................

Bumby wife🥺

[poisonouswritings]

Ozzy,,, *collapses at ur door, sobbing* this is so sappy but ough,, can I get M4 with an MC who's usually serious and calm and whatever but they're so easy to fluster,, u compliment them and their face is red as tomato,, they get their first kiss and they faint,, "oh no did I kill MC,," no they just have a fragile heart 😭 maybe throw in a lucan for me if u can 🥺👉👈 but if that's 2 much I understand!! hope ur having a great day!!

A red panda waddles up to you. He's got a little tray strapped to his back, and on the tray is a glass of water and some tissues. Once you take them he immediately flops onto his side and tries to bite his own little paws because red pandas are so baby.

GN!Reader, haha tomato face, I'm adding Tulsi too because I love her and I think she would absolutely mess with you

Felix Escellun

>:)

Felix is a little gremlin in general and I think if he doesn't cause small amounts of chaos every day his body simply shuts down. Therefore this is great news to him.

Rime was always very composed/casual about affection so when you get bright red just because Felix is calling you 'darling' or whatever, oh he is so going to take advantage of this. It's new and fun for him!

You'll be trying to study and he'll put a hand on your back and say you're doing amazing and you have to put your head down while he laughs

In Blackthorn,, Scylla also finds it hilarious while Florian finds it adorable. Escell says he finds it gross but I think low-key he's happy Felix has someone in his life. Even if that person is you.

He offers to find a spell to make your blush less obvious and it only makes you blush harder and he's just having the time of his (third or fourth) life over here

Seriously how many times has he died and come back

Anisa Anka

I feel like Anisa also gets flustered when someone suddenly is affectionate with her so you guys could totally have battles to see who can embarrass the other most

At first when you keep dying every time she's sweet to you she's worried you don't like it! Maybe it's overwhelming? Maybe you just don't know how to tell her to stop? She doesn't want you feeling uncomfortable :(

But then she overheard you talking with Saaros about how you just get flustered easily and Anisa is like :) Oh :) guess I have to help my partner get used to it :) so they don't get flustered as easily :)

Haha MC Is In Danger of Dying because All The Blood Is Always In Their Cheeks

Especially when Ayanna disapproves of you, Anisa dials it up to 11 just to prove a point.

I think being in Rivath, where public displays of affection seems to be kinda looked down on, would make you a lot more flustered just on the principle that it's a little tabboo.

Sage Lesath

No okay but imagine you guys are in the hallway and it's the first time you kiss and you just pass out,, and Sage was gonna run away because he's embarrassed but then you fucking conk out so now he has to pick you up and take you to your room except he's so flustered that he also feels light-headed,, like he already needed to get some air and now he's got you cradled against his chest while he walks into your room and lays you down in the bed and covers you up and you just look so cute and

And he has to sit down for a couple of minutes too I think. He sits next to you on the bed and brushes your hair with his fingers a little. And if you grab him while you're asleep?? He's never been this soft before and he will die.

He kisses the top of your head and you drop whatever you're holding and on one hand he's laughing because it's funny!! and on the other hand he's melting because oh you're so cute and it does funny things to heart that he can get you so flustered with literally nothing.

I think he just also gets very blushy and shy with affection so whenever he tries to mess with you it always backfires and you're both flustered messes. Like he'll try to flirt and he'll touch you a little and you get a bloody nose and then he's trying to help you and that just gets him worked up. Mutual dumbasses.

Lucan de Bhaldraithe

Lucan is a menace but unintentionally!! He's just big and full of love and affection and he will prove it!!

Even as platonic friends he will constantly hug you and sweep you up in his arms and stuff and he's very :3 about it.

You guys are eating cupcakes and you got frosting on the tip of your nose so he just leans over and smooches it off and you have to put your head down and he's just very innocently going to nibble on your cupcake cause you probably won't notice :3

That being said he might work you up so he can steal food from you while you're distracted.

Sometimes he has bad days and he comes sits with you - probably crawling into your lap and mushing his cheek against your shoulder because he thinks better when you're there to keep him calm - and you get super flustered and you're beet red but you're trying to ignore it because you know he needs comfort right now and honestly that immediately gives him +100 happy points

Tulsi Ain

I'm Team 'Tulsi Should Get To Be a Gremlin' because she's spent so long being the Responsible Sibling that she deserves to be a menace. As a treat.

So you meet her and you're all serious and stoic or whatever and she casually compliments your clothes and she fucking sees your soul leave your body for a split second as you start going red and mumble a thank you and

oh

Oh! Oh she can have fun with this >:)

Even before you guys start dating, she's lavishing you in compliments and flirts. Especially because she knows how to keep her expression flat, so she just casually tells you you're adorable or something and snickers when you perish

She's teaching you how to smith something and she's standing behind you and guiding your hands and then she sets her chin on your shoulder and says you're doing great and you have to set the hammer down because you get really lightheaded and she's trying not to laugh as she blames it on the heat of the forge even tho she knows full well it's her fault

Rime Varela

The first time he notices how flustered you get he evil grins because Oh He Is Going To Torture You

Every time he talks to you he uses some kind of pet name. Every time you guys go out he holds your hand and kisses you. If he goes out without you he brings you back treats/presents. Cooks your favorite foods. You're just curled into a ball on the floor because Why Is He So Evil !!!!! And he just very innocently says that he just wants his gorgeous partner to know how much he loves them :) and he is evil

He just thinks it's really fun to mess with you. Especially in public. He will tone it down if you ask. Offers to use his ice magic to cool you off when you're particularly red.

Omg if you actually do pass out the first time you guys kiss, Rime's immediate impulse is to use healing magic,, but then he realizes why you passed out and he just can't stop snickering because Yeah His Partner Sure Is A Fucking Idiot Like That. He wouldn't have you any other way though.

[evanox]

Writing Masterlist

Last Updated: 25/8

Request Rules . Taglist

Last Legacy Theories

Origin of relics

Time difference between Astraea and Earth

Last Legacy Main 4 and Extras

M4 and Music Tastes

M4 Comforting Crying MC

M3 General Barista HCs

M4 as Types of IDV Players

M4 and an MC with Gargoyle Features

M4 and MC's Pollen Allergies

PJO AU Part 1 2

Random Griefers Headcanons

Sneaky Elowen

Rime x Sage

More Crack Ships

Felix Iskandar Escellun

Protector of His Friends' Legacy

Professor Felix

Barista Felix falls in love with Astraean MC

Anisa Anka

Anisa and food as a love language

Anisa and Mommy (Daddy?) Issues

Sage Lesath

Biker Sage (ft the Griefers gang)

Cooking hc (ft the Griefers, again)

Reader who was a parental figure to Sage and Tulsi

Sage's Nightmares

What we should’ve had in chapter 13

Epilogue Headcanons: Settling Down

Epilogue Headcanons: First Dates

Hand kisses (short but i love it too much)

Flowers in his hair

Rime x Sage

Last Legacy MC: Maehwa

Sage Lesath (Maehwa's Version): sage x mae route rewrite

Coat for the Winter (sage x mae)

WIP

M4 and extrovert/introvert partner

Dancing with the M4

M4 as types of genshin players

Taking the M4 to a cat cafe

Watching SYTTD with the M4

M4 and pregnancy/adoption/childcare, the whole package

PJO au pt 3 (felix does an oopsie)

Lucan x Rime (don’t ask)

Even more crackships

Sage and Weddings

Timeline of events before Sage's route

Corruption theories

[pugwitharug]

Excuse me I want to make a request of Félix, anisa, sage and lucan with a mc who is a single mother / father, who at some point introduces his son / daughter, who was the result of a previous relationship (probably toxic), I hope it is not a bother for you.

It's not a bother at all! Don't worry about it, I love taking requests, please don't be shy about asking. Also sorry for taking a while I apparently drank a whole gallon of Motivation For The Wrong Thing Juice and couldn't get myself to do anything else.

GN Reader, GN child as well to cover all the bases, I won't go into what the previous relationship entailed and just let that be up to everyone's imagination

☠️Felix Iskander Escellun☠️

You two have been dating for a while, let's say a few months, and it's going well. You've really grown closer to each other with all the shit that goes on with him, through family trauma, through his magical practices, through dealing with Stella

But there's still one thing that you have to do

Felix probably knows about your child from you talking about it, but he's never actually met them. To be honest, he's a little nervous to. He knows he's not the best role model, and he's afraid that he wouldn't know how to interact with them and make them hate him

You two realize that you can't leave that third party out for much longer, so you plan a visit. You bring your child out to Fathom, where Felix resides, for lunch. You brought all the ingredients to make a meal that all three of you will like cuz Felix likely has a bare fridge, or a fridge with the weirdest combination of foods

Oh he's so nervous.......please put a hand on his shoulder and kiss his cheek and tell him it's alright. Physically shake the anxiety out if you have to

If your kid is an infant/toddler, Felix would be even more nervous. He doesn't know what to do with a baby! How do you hold it? And what if the child hates him? And they're so messy, oh my gods--

But like....the image of him with a baby sleeping on his chest while he takes a nap.........baby clutching his shirt or their blankie.............somft.................

If your kid's like 5-11, he's a little less nervous. They're a little easier to talk to and he always encourages the questions they ask

They ask why bones are white or something like this and you find Felix and your child three hours later going down a rabbit hole and somehow ending up at the acidity of different types of dirt. You didn't even know there were different types of dirt

If your kid is a preteen/teenager, he completely understands the awkwardness that comes with just being at that age, and however they might feel about him. He won't pressure them to interact with him, but if they ever want to, he's always free to talk

It's not easy to leave a toxic relationship, and it's not always easy to go on with life afterwards. Having a kid that can remind you of that time, those times of tension and anger and sadness, can't help either. You love your kid so deeply, of course, but Felix is always there if you need to vent

He also offers to hex your previous partner. Make them feel all that they did to you, all at once, never to end :)

He will never ever make you feel bad for having a child from a previous relationship. He's been in relationships before, and even though he hasn't had any children from it, he will never blame you or be mad at you

He loves you, and if he's welcome, he will love your child like his own

⚔️Anisa Anka⚔️

Anisa's had a long day of being a kickass knight and protecting every corner of Porrima. On her way back to her apartment, she decides to grab a little treat for the two of you. You're gonna go on a date later today and she loves surprising you with little gifts :3

The box of sweets under her arm, she pulls out her keys and is about to put it in the keyhole when she hears your voice from inside

She frowns a little. She wasn't expecting you. Not that you're not welcome, you definitely are! She just didn't think you'd be here so early. Hearing your voice, she figures the door is still unlocked and opens it

You're there, trying to organize one of the many piles laying on the floor (this one looks to be clothes--the problem is she doesn't know whether they're clean or dirty), and there's...a child. On her bed.

Lovely.

You're frantically apologizing for barging in unannounced, your sink suddenly wouldn't stop and it flooded your kitchen and you had to leave the house with your kid today so the kitchen could be fixed and you didn't know where else to go and you're so sorry, and she can barely hear you over her mind analyzing the child

She can immediately tell it's yours from their facial features--you two have the same chin and eyes--and if you look closely you can see her hair poof just a little bit. It's like a mini you, on her bed! She doesn't exactly know what feeling she's having, but it's some form of happy? She thinks?

She tells you not to worry about it at all, you two are always welcome here. Really she should be the one apologizing for not cleaning up

She'd do well with all ages of kids! She likes kids and if she could, she'd want to have one with you :3

Here sign this petition to let Anisa hold a baby she will cry I will cry we will all cry

Babies and toddlers she will coo at and play all the silly little games with them and listen to them babble nonsense and carry a whole conversation with them. It's important for their development!

In-the-middle kids are taught how to spar with a little wooden sword. She uses a training sword from the Sunstone Order and spars with them. Obviously she lets them win a lot to hear them celebrate. They do it just like you

Teenagers are taken around Porrima! They complain a little bit about how they've lived here their whole life and they know where everything is, but all that stops when Anisa takes them to her favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurant and gives them some food they've never had before

If the child knows that their other parent is bad and is like "my (other parent) is evil and I hate that I'm related to them"......oh boy does that hit her hard. She completely sympathizes with that, and she sits them down and tells them what her partner told her when she was struggling: who your parents are does not define who you are. Only you do. Whose blood you have in your body doesn't mean shit

She will protect you and your kid if the partner tries to come near. She is your knight, and it is her job to protect everyone

🍻Sage Lesath🍻

Sage has never really considered himself a family man. He sleeps around a lot, leaving the bed during the first rays of dawn, not looking back at his source of warmth for the night. Of course, all that changed when he met you. Now, sometimes, he wants to imagine a life with the two of you growing old together, travelling the world, hand in hand for the rest of your lives

Even so, he's not so sure how he feels about kids. He wouldn't mind them if you really wanted one, but I don't think he thinks of himself as a good dad. He did his best with Tulsi, but that was a whole different scenario. Being a dad in a normal house, a normal living situation...would he even be able to do that?

He's never met your kid before, but you talk about them a lot. You update him on how they're doing at school, what's going on with them and their friends. He never asks to see them though, he doesn't wanna put that type of pressure on you

So when you show up to whatever tavern he's staying the night at now with a kid next to you without telling him in advance, he's a little surprised

You apologize for bringing them out of the blue, the person who was gonna watch over them had to cancel at the last minute and you didn't have time to buy ingredients for dinner and hey, this place has halfway decent food, so you brought them here

It might be a little awkward for Sage because he didn't have time to prepare himself, but he'll be better the rest of the times he sees the kid

Despite what it may seem like, I think he's pretty good with babies and toddlers. He lets them play with his hair and ears and tail, he's patient enough but he will make them stop if it gets too much. Kitty's ears are sensitive

Kids are drawn to him like mosquitoes to light. This is canon and no one can convince me otherwise

Anyways yeah he's the best with little kids. He likes playing games with them and running around with them and helping them climb trees and helping them down when they get stuck. He's especially great with the Ilephta kids who also have zoomies

He sees angsty sad teenagers like little siblings, which we'll say your child is because who wasn't at that stage in life? He'll sit them down and give them all the advice he has in life, which is mainly which bars have the best drinks for cheapest and what stores have the lightest security

You love him you swear but please stop telling your child how to rob a store--

He sees no reason not to see your child as his own. He doesn't equate blood to relationships, he has Tulsi as a prime example, and as long as he cares for the child, that's all that matters

If your previous partner comes anywhere close to you, he will be [] close to breaking their jaw. Don't mess with him :3 he's a trained mercenary :3 he will bite their head off :3

🐯Lucan de Bhaldraithe🐯

It took you a while to trust Lucan. His height and muscles and general toughness make him seem mean and quick to punch, and it took quite a few interactions with him to see through that. Now you know him as he actually is: a puppy in the body of a buff ass Ilephta who loves animals and making his friends smile

He opened his arms and his heart and his home to you when you knew you were having a rough time and...gods, you love this man so much

The home thing didn't come till a few months into the two of you dating. You mentioned something about you not feeling the safest at your current living place; the lock doesn't work properly and there's been a spike in crime in the area, and he immediately offers for you and your child to live with him. He has an extra room for your child to stay in, and he's been getting a little lonely when you're not there :(

You tell him you couldn't bother him like that, but he insists on it. He confesses to you that he really wanted to meet your child for a while, but didn't want to push both of you if you were uncomfortable with it. He really does take great consideration about both of you feeling comfortable around him

How could you say no to him?

The next week he helps you and your child move into his home, and you can begin life as a somewhat normal family

I've said it before (yes I'm plugging in my own shit shut up) that Lucan would be good with babies. Sign this other petition to let Lucan hold a baby. Listen to him sing them to sleep in the middle of the night when he's about to fall asleep himself cuz his singing voice is that effective. Watch him take a nap in a rocking chair with the baby in his arms. Watch me cry at the cuteness

Ooooooooooh he loves little kids. He thinks they're so fun and they think he's so fun and your child would love him. He runs them ragged, teaches them important survival skills that Elowen taught him when he was that age, encourages their natural curiosity and their handfuls of random questions. Like Felix he would want to actually know the answer but I don't think he knows how to properly research lol

Also, like Sage, he sees your preteen or teen child as a little sibling. It's a little weird for him cuz he was always the little sibling and now he's like the middle and he's not entirely sure what to do. He gives them advice (better advice than Sage's) and helps them on their adult journey. Even though he doesn't have long before they're out on their own, he wants to help them grow into a great person, however he can

He asks Elowen if this is what it was like taking care of him and she says "no you were worse" he was a stinky baby lol

His big arms allow for big hugs, and he makes you feel so safe when you wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares about.....them.......he helps ground you, helps you remember that you're safe and free from them

You know he can be terrifying even when he doesn't wanna be, so you know he's extra terrifying when he spots someone trying to come near you with anything within eleven degrees of maliciousness. You have to physically jump on his back and cover his eyes when it's not the right person to get him to stop

He already let you get hurt once, he's not letting it happen again

[poisonouswritings]

Hi fren, can we please get headcanons over how Sage and Balsam would be with an S/O that can be just as stubborn and a little shit as they can be? Give em’ a taste of their own medicine for once >:)

✨Gremlin Energy ✨

GN!Reader, I'm including Lucan because he can also be very stubborn and also I just love him, can someone suggest a last name for Balsam because I'm [ ] this close to just making something up

Sage Lesath

So Tulsi and Anisa used to constantly lecture Sage about how he has to learn to get along with others and stop insisting he's right about everything and all that. Not just because it was frustrating (it was) but also because it could get him into trouble.

Yeah. Well.

You insist you can throw a knife, you refuse to listen to him telling you not to throw the knife, you promptly manage to stab someone in the arm, said stabbing victim obviously attacks you, Sage gets punched in the face while protecting you.

Cut to ten minutes later where you're holding a bag of ice to his face while he lectures you about Not Throwing Sharp Objects!!

After about,, a month or so,,, ends up apologizing to Anisa for always ignoring her advice.

Don't get me wrong he's still a stubborn little shit!! You have to try and keep him out of trouble just as much as he keeps you out of it.

He,, is,,, not the best person to get in an argument with,,,,, Y'know how when cats are angry, they puff up and hiss and scratch at you? Sage never hits you or anything but he will get in your face and he will yell. He expects you to do the same. If you respond to an argument by being very soft and calm, it'll confuse him enough to make him calm down, though he still probably won't listen to what you're saying right away. Once he storms off and has some time to cool down (either by going to the tavern or taking a nap), he'll usually apologize in his own awkward way.

You guys probably agree to disagree a lot.

If you wanna do something really dangerous - aka something really stupid, like trying to pet a feral glowcat kitten because it's small and cute - Sage will try to talk you out of it. And if you don't listen then he'll just pick you up and move you out of the area.

Sometimes your little shit-ness combines and you decide to work together to do something really fucking stupid (trying to jump into the pool via climbing one of the really high pillars) and then Anisa is lecturing you both.

Lucan De Bhaldraithe

He's obviously stubborn when it comes to his beliefs, but outside of that he's usually a lot more easygoing. Usually willing to compromise. He'll stick with you no matter what dumb thing you're doing to make sure you don't get hurt.

He is a bit of a himbo tho. He and Sage like to do stupid and dangerous shit together because it's funny. Like, one time it was snowing a lot and they decided to get a bunch of snow into a pile and then jump into it from 20 feet up! That did not end well! If they didn't have a healing factor (Corruption) they absolutely would have broken bones! Actually they did break bones but they healed but you get what I mean!

If there was a Running With The Bulls type of festival, Lucan would do it because it seems like fun to him!!

Anyways.

He can get loud during arguments but he's not usually aggressive about it unless it's a very sensitive subject. He tries to see your perspective. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it does not.

I think dealing with your stubborn ass kinda gives him a new appreciation for Elowen. I also think he uses some of her tactics to get a handle on you.

Balsam (Why Didn't He Get A Last Name)

B,,,bull,,,,,bull-headed,,,,,,,,

Yeah he's stubborn but he's probably the least likely to do stupid shit on purpose

Whenever you wanna do something stupid and try to insist on it, he always asks you why, and if there's something else you can do to meet that need that isn't dangerous. So if you want to pet a dangerous animal because it's fluffy, he'll ask why it needs to be that specific animal and suggests petting something that won't try to eat you.

Smart man.

If you want to do something that's stupid but not particularly dangerous, then he kinda just shrugs and lets you do it. And then when it inevitably goes to shit, he lectures you, but he also helps you fix it.

He doesn't intentionally do stupid/dangerous things! So if he is doing something stupid/dangerous, it's because he's focused on it too much and now is absolutely certain that he'll be fine. The best way to talk him out of it is to interject yourself. Oh, he owes money to someone and they've been threatening him/you and he's planning to go confront them and he just refuses to acknowledge the fact that it's 9/10 a trap and he will get jumped?? Okay :) you're gonna tag along now :) and then he acknowledges it's dangerous and not smart and is willing to come up with another idea.

Although if it's something he's really set on then I would not put it past him to just sneak out of the house or something to go do it.

He's used to being the one with the braincell in the Griefers. So arguments with him are annoying because he's so used to being right that he has a hard time listening to anything else. He's also used to having to shout over everyone else (and let's be real, he's just a loud person to begin with), especially if you're stubborn and insisting on arguing back with him, so you may get a headache afterwards. If you flinch or cover your ears then he'll realize how loud/aggressive he's being and calm down. He's a lot faster to apologize than Sage is, but he still has to cool off first. The semi-good news is he hates arguing with you so he generally does whatever he can to avoid any disagreement getting to that point.

[poisonouswritings]

Hey man I was wondering if you could write about the main 4 (and maybe balsam Lucan and saaros) reacting to an mc during their periods where they get a lot of mood swings? Happy, sad, hella horny, all that stuff? As explicit as you're okay with. Ty :)

I can always tell when my period is coming because a day or two before I'm filled with insurmountable rage and hatred whenever anyone speaks around me. Like it's not the actual words it's literally the sound of voices. It might also be a sensory thing idk all I know is it's a warning sign that's never failed.

AFAB GN!Reader, exaggerated mood swings because it's funnier that way, not separated by character, Colored Bullet Rule (Felix, Anisa, Sage, Rime, Saaros, Lucan, Balsam), mentions of NSFW content that I will toss below the cut, I would be more explicit but I don't wanna weird people out?? Idk maybe as I do more NSFW reqs I'll get more brave

You're not feeling great so Anisa takes you out to get ice cream and then a child bumps into you and spills your ice cream and Anisa has to hold you back before you punt the kid

Does anyone else have comfort shows/movies they watch? Let's be real we're on Tumblr y'all totally do. You're trying to explain the plot of one to Lucan and you start crying because you really wanna watch it right now but you can't because, y'know, Astraea. Lucan very quickly makes (really bad) sock puppets and gets Sage and Balsam to help him try and recreate whatever it is you want to watch. They try their best and that's what counts.

So imagine,,, Saaros knows you're on your period (you probably complained about it coming up or whatever) and they went to Azimuth to ask for some future-sight help and Az just kinda grins. Saaros is going into this blind. You spend like ten minutes super happily and excitedly babbling on about something and Saaros thinks Hey Maybe They Can Handle This!!! And you guys are talking and they say something totally innocuous. And then out of literally nowhere you're completely silent and glaring and just generally Pissed™ and they're like Oh. Okay. Uh. And then three minutes later you're hugging their arm and being really clingy and like What Do They Do About This.

You're playing with Stella and messing around as Felix does some experiments,, like you're laughing and having fun right? And then two seconds later you're sprawled out on the ground contemplating your death while Stella walks all over your back and Felix is just getting a little bit of whiplash

You and Sage are out at the bar and at first Sage attributes your mood swings to being drunk! But uh! You throw your still-full drunk at someone who was talking too loudly! And now Sage is having to diffuse a fight (which is very unfamiliar for him) while you're going all Feral Gremlin™ over there.

You and Balsam are fucking around and having a pillow fight and he hits you in the face and you start crying and he's like !!!! Oh Fuck Oh No Oh Shit Are You Okay Fuck Did He Hit You Too Hard Do You Need A Healer Fuck He's So Sorry !!!!!! And anyways it takes like twenty minutes for you to calm down enough to tell him you're fine and the entire time he's freaking out. You tearily call him an asshole and he's like 'I Know I Am I'm Sorry' ;A; someone help him

Rime is having a self-loathing day and at first you're trying to cheer him up but then you get hit by a hard bout of self-loathing and now he's trying to cheer you up and you're both just suffering while trying to help each other.

Saaros is barely speaking because they don't want to upset you but then you take their silence as them being mad at you so you start getting sad and crying and they're just like What The Fuck Do I Do About This Oh Stars Oh God and they're just panicking because Why The Fuck Didn't Azimuth Tell Them How To Handle This

It's because Azimuth thought it would be funnier and they were fuckin right

Sage thinks tickling you will make you laugh!!! Unfortunately he did it in one of your Rage Swings and you kick him in the crotch. Now he's on the floor in pain and you're half trying to help him and half snickering

Someone calls you a 'bitch on the rag' and now you're having to restrain Anisa from getting into a fight. Bonus points if she's on her period at the same time.

No that being said your period syncs up with Anisa's and you guys are just wreaking havoc e v e r y w h e r e because even though your cycles synced up your mood swings very much have not!! Rime makes a joke that makes you cry and Anisa threatens to snap his horns off. Everyone gives you two a wide berth for the next week.

Rime gets you an ice pack (or uses his ice magic) and he's rubbing your back a little because you're in pain and it's in his forgotten nature to help and,, you start crying because you're so overwhelmed with affection for him and he thinks he hurt you somehow and he's trying to figure out what happened and how he can help fix it and you're just curled into a ball and sobbing

Okay so I know I make jokes about 'calling myself out' and whatever but I have to ask, does anyone else get into like,, more intense kinks when they're on their period? Idk how else to describe it

Anyways who would have sex with you while you're on your period? I do agree we should de-stigmatize and de-gross-ify periods but I also think not everyone is gonna be down with having bloody sex. Y'know who would be tho? The Griefers. And probably also Rime.

Okay so we've canonically established that ilephtas are inhumanely warm so all of the Griefers would be like heating pads and that would be really nice :3 very warm and comfy and cuddly. and Rime is an ice pack so that would also be nice :3

That being said I don't think Anisa or Felix would ignore you or anything!

Honestly I'm not sure about Saaros,,, they kinda give me ace vibes so,,,

You're out at the bar with Sage and you guys are flirting and you start to climb onto his lap because You Don't Give A Shit and he has to stop you (and this might be one of those times you guys fuck in an alley I really don't know if either of you could make it back to Fathom sorry). That being said I also think that uh,,, listen I'm a big advocate for Cat!Sage and I think that in the days before (aka during your ovulation) he would subconsciously smell something is up with your hormones or whatever and I think he'd be extra horni during that time so like. Fun.

Lucan would be so soft cause he doesn't wanna hurt you :( and then you tell him to go harder and he's like :( Are You Sure :( and honestly you might have to top because he's just too worried about you to go harder. Also I think he just likes you on top!! Would be willing to do whatever you're in the mood for as long as it doesn't hurt you, because he's also a little worried that you're so horny you're not thinking straight and you might regret it later. That fear probably subsides the longer you're together.

Oh Balsam would have no problem going harder and getting kinky. He is like a bull seeing red (hahahaha i'm so fucking funny). I would recommend you get a safe word!! I would also recommend you have a lot of hydration on hand. But after the kinky sex, I think he'd be really sweet with aftercare!! Carries you to the shower/bath if you need it and smooches you a lot. Tells a lot of dumb jokes and shit too, because he's a nerd like that.

Rime is gonna be somewhere in the middle. He won't indulge all your requests because he knows it'll hurt you after, but he does go along with some of them. I think if you're into dirty talk or degradation he'd definitely go along with that. He just keeps it easy physically speaking. Makes you beg a lot probably. Aww little baby is so desperate huh :( better fucking prove it

What a dick

[poisonouswritings]

GROCERY SHOPPING WITH THE GREIFERS.

Lucan is picking out some nuggies, milk, eggs, instant coffee and some protein powder for his work out. He also keeps pointing at the most random stuff asking if it's needed.

Elowen just yeets a bottle of straight vodka in the cart then leaves

Balsam is the Mom Of The Group so he's picking out vegetables except he's stopping to read what each product contains so it takes forEVEr. Also I dunno why but I feel like he has reading glasses.

Tulsi also luckily has some sense and picks out important stuff like batteries, bulbs, shampoo n conditioner, bandaids, etc. She's just vibing and following along the cart with earphones in. Ask her what she's listening to so y'all can share the earphones and vibe together <3

Sage is sitting in the trolley while you're pushing it around and of course he's flirting with you ;) hey mc ;) thanks for the ride ;) but he finally shuts up when a bottle of vodka mysteriously lands at his groin. Poor kitty. But he does also occasionally yank your favourite snacks from the shelf and keep it in the trolley.

They do ultimately end up forgetting something tho

I FEEL LIKE SOMEONE WOULD GET PLANTS BUT I DUNNO WHO. Probably balsam. Smexy plant dad balsam? Shirtless balsam who's only wearing grey sweatpants putting on gardening gloves? Lil thing of tools strapped around his hips? And he's making this hot concentrated face? nad,,,an ,d he abs are squished together..cause of how he's hunched over,,,lil bit of sweat drips from his nose,,,,then he goes to shower and comes out with a towel wrapped really really low at his hips and his hair is down?,,,,lird habe mercu.,,,duhvfghjjhjhvi,,,,,,,,,hmgmhmhmHHHHAHEM AHEM-

-egg anon (dumb bitch anon)

Balsam would be a sexy plant dad,,, hehehe,,,,,

GN!Reader, Modern!AU, the Griefers share a braincell, Colored Bullet Rule (Balsam, Elowen, Lucan, Sage, Tulsi)

I would also like to suggest Modern!AU Griefers all sharing a house. Which is presumably why they're shopping together.

I'd like to imagine that Lucan and Sage take turns sitting in the cart. So this time is Sage, next time it'll be Lucan, so on.

Anyways this time it's Sage and big boy is sitting with his back to you so he can tilt his head back to look up at you,, keeps nuzzling against your arms/wrists,,, love-bites you a few times,,,,,, kitty likes being taken care of sometimes y'know?

Lucan gets the dino tendies. He insists they taste better than the normal ones. You can try to read the ingredients to prove they're the same thing but he doesn't care. They're Fun So They Taste Better. He will fight you on this.

If you guys are at a Target or Walmart or whatever and there's a bedding section, Lucan and Sage are grabbing pillows and attacking each other. Balsam lets them do it so long as they don't break anything. Once Sage gets bored he uses the pillow to take a nap, assuring you'll have to buy it because his hair is all over it now

If he actually does fall asleep he uses one hand to hold yours,, kitty needs you to be close,,, zzz,,,,,,,

You're standing still for too long (maybe trying to decide between two brands or whatever?) when Tulsi just sneaks up from behind and cuddles you. And at first you think she's being cute and clingy but then she sets her chin on your shoulder (she might have to stand on her tiptoes) and asks you if it's weird that you can look at something and your tongue will instinctively know what the texture would be like. You slowly look over at her one mounting dismay and she smiles really sweetly, kisses your nose, and drifts away to listen to her music

Seriously look around and pick something and you'll know what the texture would be if you pick it. Horrible. Hate.

Elowen,, doing this,, also go spam this art with love!!!

Balsam carefully weighing fruits and veggies before bagging them,,, he needs to be precise,,,,, it takes him forever to do literally anything,,,,,,,, and if you try to leave him he just grabs the cart and drags it back over next to him,,,,,,,,,,,,, Sage keeps bitching about it because he's bored

So when I was younger and we had to go to the market and it was taking too long my mom would get me a Lunchables and I'd eat it in the cart and we'd formally buy it when we checked out (course I'd usually eaten it all by then but whatever) and anyways you have to do that for both Sage and Lucan.

You try to get Balsam to hurry up by flirting with him a little,, lightly holding his waist and swaying a little like Hey If We Leave Here Soon Maybe You Two Can Have Some Fun ;) and Balsam leans over to smooch your cheek and says Nice Try But He Needs To Make Sure This Cookie Butter Has An Acceptable Amount of Sugar Before He Lets Lucan Get It

The toy section,, Tulsi keeps fiddling with the Rubik's Cubes and looking at the Legos and whatever and she always gets a Hot Wheel! She has a collection.

You jokingly throw a ball and Lucan sprints after it. Makes you throw it again. You're playing fetch now. Why would you do this.

You get a plushie for Sage and nuzzle it against his cheek and he's so flustered,,, soft,,,,,

Elowen casually taking the cart from you and ramming it into corners/walls/whatever to piss Sage off

Tulsi comes over and hands you one of her earbuds because a song you like came up on her playlist

Balsam checking all of Lucan's protein powder before letting him put it in the cart. He needs to make sure puppy isn't ingesting ungodly amounts of caffeine or smthn

Elowen throwing vodka in the cart (yes hitting Sage in the crotch, not on purpose but hey it's funny) and then grabbing you and dragging you away because she wants to go look at clothes

Alternatively Elowen dragging Tulsi away to look at clothes and Sage just dying because vodka is heavy,, you get him a bag of frozen peas,,,, Lucan is laughing his ass off

Tulsi gets some fairy lights for her workshop and she gets them in your favorite colors

Plant section! Balsam spends nearly an hour agonizing over the precise shade of green he's getting with various mint leaves or whatever,,, you try to help but honestly there's no helping this man. He's on his own. You just leave him there and go to grab some juices.

Yes the checkout person looks at you (Sage) weirdly.

Sage refusing to get out of the cart until you guys have shoved the groceries in the car. He's at least gracious enough to take it to the cart corral himself.

You all came in the same car so,, you uh,,, you're gonna have to sit on someone's lap for the ride home ;)

[poisonouswritings]

hey Ozzy [trips and falls down a flight of stairs]

nsfw sage hcs? brain rot is reaching towards the deep parts of my brain that don't reach the sunlight

be as detailed and explicit as u want 👉👈

anyways, I'm gonna crawl into your floorboards

thanks ozzy!

*under my floorboards are just a bunch of tubes like hamster city so have fun. You might run into some ferrets tho*

GN!Reader, am I calling myself out with some of these? yes. but you people will never know which ones, NSFW ofc, All LL Characters Are Switches In My Mind, Hopefully this is long enough (that's what he said hahaha)

Sage Lesath

Alright here's some stuff I think he's into and some explanations as to why:

Right out the gate,, marking. Biting and bruising and that sorta thing, and it goes both ways. He likes being able to see that you're his and he's yours. It makes him feel safe and reassured that you aren't gonna leave him and also it's just kinky.

Also,, um,, cumming on/in you, or vice versa. For the same marking reasons.

In that same vein,,, piss. Cats use piss to scent mark things.

Knife/blood play is canon so,, like,,, yeah.

Begging. He wants to hear you beg. He really wants you to make him beg. Please.

He canonically liked it when you threatened him a little so,, yeah be mean to him,,, but I also think he'd like a soft Dom too. Kiss his forehead and call him a good boy and he melts

Risky/public. He's gonna fuck you in an alleyway at some point.

Also likes teasing you under the table when you guys are out places but isn't really trying to get you caught so don't worry.

Primal play. He wants to drive you to that point of pleasure where your brain shuts off and you're just going on instincts. I guess you could also say overstimulation/aheago for the same reasons

Also just,, being messy in general? Leaving your clothes all over the place and drooling/spitting and being covered in sweat and etc etc.

I think Lungs?? said this once but,, seeing your makeup run from tears/sweat,,, he sure do be into that

Breeding. Is that his cat instincts or does he just like the idea of you being full of him and tied to him forever? That Is Not For Me To Know.

S,,size difference,,,, if you're bigger than him then he is a smol kitty cat and if he's bigger than you then he is a fearsome feline >:3 either way he's happy

Being,, like,,, in water? Or swimming? I'm not sure if that's a thing persay but he being able to float.

Reg you mentioned that Sage seems like the kinda dude who would cum while giving head,, and like,,, yeah. Yeah he would. Yeah he do.

Pull 👏 he 👏 hair 👏 and 👏 he 👏 tail 👏

For some HCs

Probably the most 50/50 switch.

Kitty cat cums a lot. And when he does cum he usually wraps his tail around you (or tries to, depending on the position y'all are in). He likes knowing you're close.

H,,,,,he,,,,,,,heats,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I'll willingly call myself out for this one. Sorry not sorry.

Sage,,, giving head,,,, you scratch behind his ears,,,,, purring,,,,,, instant vibrator. Also, Egg Anon, you asked about if his dick would vibrate when he purrs,,,,,,,, I'm gonna say yes. Which means cock-warming would be insane because he'd just start purring and you'd fucking die.

In a modern!AU (or if y'all just have access to sex toys) I feel like he'd definitely have you wear a vibrator under your clothes and he'd just mess around randomly with the remote. Keep it on a low level most of the time but when you guys are walking/not around people you know he'll suddenly crank it to max. He is nice enough to let you take breaks tho. And if you wanna swap roles then he's more than happy to go along with it.

Sub!Sage is such a brat. He likes being punished a little bit (spanking, extended edging, etc.) but he's not overly fond of,, like,,, being called worthless or whatever. Like if you call him your slut or something then he (really) likes it but also, really, he needs a lot of love and a lot of reassurance that he's yours.

Mating press??? Thigh fucking???? Yeah definitely. He probably has some weird positions to try out with you, depending on what you can pull off.

I have no idea who said it but there's a post somewhere that mentions that if you sit on Sage's lap he is instantly horny,, and like,,, yeah

By the same token if he's being a horny bastard and you casually cup his cheeks and smooch the tip of his nose and call him a cute kitty then he will melt in your arms and demand pets.

In as much as he enjoys kinky sex (and ohohoho he does enjoy it) he also really likes soft sex!! I don't, think,, that,,, he's ever really had soft/affectionate sex before? Like the first time you try it he kinda instinctually starts getting rougher but you scratch his ears and kiss his forehead and tell him to slow down,, it's okay,,, you're not going anywhere,,,,, and suddenly he's shy and fumbling a little because he just isn't prepared for it. He ends up liking it a lot more than he can verbalize.

Also I think that,, like,,, the first few times you guys have soft/affectionate sex it's kind of emotionally draining? He has to be way more vulnerable than usual and he's just exhausted afterwards. And at first he's a little confused because He's Done Way Rougher And Been Okay So Why Can He Barely Keep His Eyes Open Now?

Baby it's because this is the first time you've felt truly safe!! He lays his head on your chest and curls up on top of you and you stroke his hair and he quickly falls asleep with a little smile on his face.

Just,, the dumbest possible safe words. He purposefully picks ones that'll make you both laugh because it makes it a little easier to get out of the scene that way.

Roleplay! Some of it is kinkier (like pretending you guys are rival mercs trying to decide who gets the bounty and you have to try and 'overpower' each other) but some of it is sweeter (like pretending he's a cursed prince locked away in a tower and you're the dashing rogue who defies the crown to rescue him and sweep him off his feet - that one makes him particularly flustered but it also puts a warm fluttering in his chest) too.

I think he really will try just about anything once. As long as you guys talk extensively beforehand about hard/soft limits, safe words, etc - aka as long as he can assure your safety - then he's happy to try it.

On a sadder note I think that he probably has spent years allowing people to push/break his boundaries because it was the only way he could get anyone to stay,, so initially he really is willing to do anything you want. You have to gently talk through it with him, remind him that he's allowed to say no to things he doesn't like, promise him you really won't mind at all, explain that you love him just as much as he loves you so of course you want to protect him. It's a conversation he never thought he'd have to - get to? be worthy enough to? - have. There are tears to be sure but I think it's overall a positive experience and one he desperately needed to have.

Lucan de Bhaldraithe

Stuff I think he's into and why:

Headpats! And praise! He is a puppy :) Also I think that while he does have his strong convictions and he does believe the actions he takes are ultimately morally necessary in the grand scheme of things,,, idk sometimes a bitch just needs to be told he's a good boy, y'know?

L,,le,,,,leash. Bondage in general but especially a leash. He loses control of himself when he's the Red Wraith so knowing you can tame him does a lot to calm him down.

Playful chasing? He likes getting to grab you from behind and spin you around a little bit. Makes him feel stronk and it usually makes you laugh. And he really likes your laugh!

Biting. Monch. Please leave marks on him :) he'll leave some on you too so it's fair :)

Cuddle fucking!! Whether it's you holding him or him holding you, you guys are together and being cute and in love and that makes him happy :) a spot of wholesomeness in a world of corruption and all that.

I'm not entirely sure this counts as a kink but like,, fucking in non-standard places? Like not necessarily in public (though I don't think he'd mind that) but just in random places. Stairwells, bathrooms, the roof/balcony, so on and so on. His ultimate goal is to fuck in basically every surface of the house. Lofty ambitions.

Realistically,, al,,,,also pissing,,,,, for the same scent marking reasons as Sage. Sorry. I don't make the rules. I just write whatever I think is funny.

Doggy style! Also allows for prime hug position mwahaha. If he's fucking you then he will just wrap his arms around your waist and randomly go limp to smush you into the bed because he thinks it's funny.

Dress up/Cosplay! I think if you wear thigh highs his brain goes directly out the window. If you're able to show him old cosplay pics of you then,, sorry those just become a porno magazine to him.

,,,,, look I gotta say it,,,,, p,,,,, panties. I think part of it is a smell thing and part of it is a visual thing but I'm all saying is if you wrap your underwear around his cock and jerk him off like that he will enjoy it.

Facesitting? Yeah. Yeah. Definitely.

I guess you could also put this under 'unusual places' but something about fresh air and birdsong makes him wanna fuck in the forest. Idk. It's an animal thing.

For some HCs:

60% sub 40% dom

He likes being really soft :) and sweet :) and gentle :) and then out of nowhere suddenly demolishing you :) and then giving you really sweet and loving and gentle aftercare :) he's gotta keep you in your toes y'know. Expect the unexpected and all that.

A lot of panting and a lot of drooling. Also, like,, growling. I just think he's very vocal in general and he also likes it when you're vocal. That probably leads to you getting caught several times but, really, it's Elowen's own fault for coming home two hours before she said she would.

Sometimes he's like,, really sleepy because he's been running around all day (or all night depending on how legal the activities were),,, and he'll just fall asleep inside you. Takes him a couple minutes to wake back up. He says he'll make it up to you ;) but then he falls asleep again so you'll just have to pick it back up after his nap.

Kn,,, knot????? Heat, sure, but knot?????????

Also yeah he goes fucking rabid during his heat. And if something happens that triggers his corruption? Rip your entire body you will not be able to move for three days. He'd be good at taking care of you tho

You try to punish him for something and he whimpers and gives you Puppy Eyes and,,, like,,,, how can you possibly be mean to him??? You can't. And he knows it. Bastard.

His tail wags soooo much the entire time. Does not matter who's doing what. He's happy to be with you and he is gonna show it damnit.

If he isn't careful he really could fuck you through the bed. Like. He will crack the fucking mattress frame if he gets too excited. And he'll be fucking proud of it too.

Balsam

Stuff I think he's into and why:

I do think he's the most naturally gentleman-ly of the trio but I also think he will not hesitate to say the most depraved and degrading shit if it'll get you both off. He won't mean any of it, and he always makes sure to give you lots of praise and love afterwards. But just be aware he is perfectly capable of being disgusting.

He can also be very sweet and praising though!! It all just depends on the mood you guys are in. He's pretty good at reading your mood but he's also very good at communicating!! If he isn't sure about something he will just fucking ask!! How sexy and mature of him.

Y'know how there was this thing going around in TikTok where people were like 'I made fun of piss fetishes so much I developed one'? Yeah. He spent years making fun of Sage and Lucan only to wind up developing one himself. Cruel irony. He's learned to accept it but he isn't exactly proud of it either.

M,,mutual masturbation? Is that what that's called? Masturbating while watching each other is what I'm trying to get at but I think mutual masturbation is basically giving each other handies. Which he's also into so count this one as a two-fer.

Trying to stay quiet. Mostly when you're trying to be silent and then he makes you moan really loudly.

Idk. He might gag you at some point. It's in the cards. Specifically a ring gag cause. Y'know. I don't have to spell it out. *Cough*sloppybjpotential*cough*

I guess I could just say BDSM in general but I don't think he's particularly sadistic or anything! Just likes the dirty/taboo aspect. I mean he definitely can and will get rough but he's just Like That. So. Y'know.

Um. I dunno. Maybe he likes being called 'sir' sometimes. Y'know. It happens. You call him that in public as a joke and he casually just picks you up and takes you to the nearest available (semi/mostly-private) space because You Fucking Asked For It.

For some HCs:

70% dom 30% sub

Okay yes I know that bulls aren't attracted to the color red, it's the waving of the flag that does it, but y'know what else I know? I know that if you wear red underwear that Balsam will be attracted to it. Partially because he thinks you're a massive fucking dork and partially because, hey, red is a nice color.

I also know that this man will wait until he is balls-deep inside of you, when you're squirming around begging him to fuck you already, to look you in the eye and make a fucking pun. A bad pun. Because he thinks the way your eyes go from being hazy with arousal to burning with annoyance is hilarious. And yes he is willing to sacrifice an orgasm just to prove that.

If he gets home really late (probably was out drinking with the boys) and he's horny and he sees you're asleep then he'll just go to the bathroom,,, which is fine and all except it's now 5 in the morning and he's asleep on the toilet and he won't wake up and you really need to pee

If you're sore/tired afterwards then he runs around taking care of you as best he can. Sometimes you gotta remind him to sit down and take a break himself because charging headfirst into things is Not Always The Answer. Best way to do it is just to crawl on top of him so he has no choice but to nap.

I,, cannot possibly tell you why I think this because it popped into my head randomly like a thunderbolt thrown by Zeus,,, humming. I honestly am not sure how to further explain. I think he hums. Maybe even sings a little. Like if he's giving head and he does it then it kinda makes sense because of the vibrations but he just does it whenever. He might make a game out of having you try to sing along but you're both panting/grunting/moaning/whatever to see who can hold it together the most.

If you have a certain part of your body that you're insecure about he gives it a lot of kisses/nips. If you're having a particularly bad episode then he'll just fully stop fooling around and hold you and encourage you to vent about it. He knows he can't magically make things better, but at least he can listen and be there for you.

Honestly just,, in general,,, he is the most likely of the three to notice when something is off and stop to ask you about it. Or if he's feeling off to stop and talk to you about it. His first and foremost priority is how you feel, and he knows you love him enough to not be upset if he has to stop things for his own sake. It happens sometimes. No shame in it. I'm not sure whether to categorize it as him being the most mature or him just being the most self-confident? Like I think Lucan and Sage (especially Sage) have worse self-esteems and that does kinda cause them to hide their own feelings, which can make it a little difficult for them to notice yours if it's more subtle. Balsam is pretty good at not doing that.

He pretends to fall asleep one time and smushes you but then he can't stop snickering and laughing because Haha He's So Funny and like,, he is inside you at that moment and he laughs hard so. Y'know. Ha Ha.

Ha.

[poisonouswritings]

The main 4 helping mc through really bad period cramps please.possibly Lucan and balsam.ya girls had a bad day.ty.also I love your blog.

Girl guess who's having period cramps right fucking now!! Rip to both of us. Hope this cheers you up a little bit.

AFAB!Reader but no pronouns, incredibly self-indulgent, I'll throw in the link to my 'M4 With A Sore MC' post for additional stuff

Felix Escellun

Tea!!!

His first response is tea and his second response is blankets.

He's not the best with healing magic but he's still gonna try. At the very least he'll get you an enchanted compress that stays warm and mix up a sleeping potion to help you doze off. Well it be strong enough to get you to sleep through the pain? Probably not. But he will not rest until he finds something that works!

You're spending most of the day in his study, on the sofa, swathed in blankets.

Do you know! that!! cats can sometimes purr as a healing stimulant!!! and if they notice that you're sad or sick they'll come purr on you!!!!! So Stella is laying on your lower stomach and purring.

Felix makes sure to get you a lot of water.

TENS units have been shown to relieve the pain of cramping!! I think once you explain what that means to him, he tries using his magic as a makeshift solution. It helps somewhat.

Florian brings you herbs like fenugreek, ginger, valerian roots, zataria, etc. He's sympathetic to your pain and does what he can to help.

If you start crying from the cramps, Felix immediately crawls onto the couch with you.

He,, he,,, he's a sympathy crier so he's gonna start crying too. Which makes you both laugh.

Anisa Anka

Oh my poor girl knows all about how to deal with this don't you even worry about it

No I lied you should worry she doesn't really know how to help you with this.

You know how,, exercise and walking around and stuff can usually help with cramps? Well she already does all that a lot for her Sunstone duties so she doesn't usually have severe cramps. So when you're all laid out in bed, clutching at your stomach and groaning in pain, she's gonna try to get you to walk around a bit.

If you can't do that (and if you're in that much pain you probably can't) then I think she's gonna focus on comfort foods! Soup, stew, crackers, etc.

She might ask Ayanna for advice but since Ayanna has always been pretty active, I think she'd also just suggest exercise. Maybe she'd have some sort of magic Anisa doesn't know - maybe something she picked up on her adventures, I don't know - to help with the worst of it.

Strokes your hair a lot.

So soft and comforting. Calls you a hundred little pet names while trying to cheer you up a bit. She would tell you funny stories but she's afraid you'll start laughing and further hurt yourself.

I could,, I could see her recounting old Sunstone stories.

I could also see her trying to clean up the apartment while you're resting, so that you have more room to walk if you decide you want to. And then,, she ends up finding a bunch of old random shit. Like old toys or tattered books. And eagerly shows you all of it.

Sage Lesath

Kitty cat to the rescue!

Okay not exactly but he's trying really hard.

Um,, so,,, according to Planned Parenthood,,,, a proven way of easing period cramps is,,,,, via orgasm,,,,,, that's all I'm saying about that particular subject,,,,,,,

In other news Sage is gonna coax you into a bath!! He runs it and adds extra bubbles and makes it nice and warm for you.

He messes with the bubbles. Puts some of them on your head and blows some into your face, that kind of thing. He wants to make you laugh!! Laughter is the best medicine, after all.

I think he teases you a little bit. Nothing mean or anything, he just wants to keep things light-hearted.

Probably gets Tulsi to help him cook some home remedy type stuff too.

He is a kitty cat!! He is gonna cuddle with you in bed and purr!! Probably rests a hand on your lower stomach and massages a little bit.

If the sun is out,, like hitting your bed,, he's gonna fall asleep. Sorry. Baby wants a cat nap. He feels so warm and comfy with you that it just kinda happens.

Wakes up like two hours later,, he's been drooling on your shoulder,,, you're toying with his ears a bit,, he feels guilty that he fell asleep while you were in pain but I feel like seeing your cute cat boyfriend peacefully snoring would make you feel a little better,,,,, like when you look at those live feeds of baby animals sleeping

I mean it makes me feel better anyways

Lucan de Bhaldraithe

Yes I know Lucan is technically a tiger (or at least I think so) but he is a puppy in my heart so

Puppy!!

He's very worried about you. He knows what the issue is - he grew up with Elowen, and while I don't think he necessarily took care of her because she was older and probably a little too prideful to let him, I think he still tried to help her. So now he's gonna help you!

I like the idea that Lucan is really not good at cooking but he still puts his entire heart into it,, like he tries to make you soup and it's probably inedible but you know he did it with love and affection

He! Sings!! You!!! Lullabies!!!! To try and help you sleep. Encourages you to get a lot of bed rest.

He is an excited puppy and if you ask for something he'll run to get it. Even if it means dashing to the market. And whenever he does go out he gets you a little snack.

You know that thing about how (dark) chocolate sometimes helps with cramps? He takes that and runs with it. Gets you like nine chocolate bars at a time.

If you don't want them then he obviously eats them. That was lowkey his plan all along mwahaha

If you wanna go outside to get air,, but still can't move,, he'll find a way to set up a hammock. Brings some blankets and pillows and carries you down.

Then sits on the floor next to you (within arm's reach so you can pet him still) so you're not alone.

Balsam

Still can't believe he doesn't have a last name

Has the hardest time relating to cramps. He 1000% believes that you're in as much pain as you say you are, he's just not really familiar with it. He did kinda help raise Tulsi when they were younger but I think she held it together pretty well and Sage was usually on top of it.

So I think his first impulse is to tell you to buck up and walk it off. When you don't get up he flops onto the bed next to you.

So,, when i was like eight or so,, and my sister was 14,, I asked her what a period felt like. And you know what this bitch did? She punched me in the crotch. Like a bitch.

Anyways you do that to Balsam just to do a point. He is now rolling around in agony. If he wasn't in so much pain he would compliment how strong your punch is.

Once he's pulled himself together he just flat-out asks you what it is he can do to help.

Hot chocolate but he adds alcohol to it because you told him heat and chocolate are good and he figured alcohol would help too.

He likes to be (lovably) annoying. Laying in bed and he just throws his arm out across your chest and puts one of his legs on top of yours. You keep shoving him off and he laughs and does it again.

He just doesn't want you to sit there and be bored y'know? Stimulation and all that.

Once you fall asleep, he tucks you in and kisses your forehead and silently leaves the room so he doesn't wake you up. But then he just hangs out outside your room so he can keep an eye/ear on you.

Rime Varela

Everyone step aside, the doctor is in!

Since he's the healer, he'd be able to find a spell to help with the worst of the pain.

I would like to again mention the orgasm thing because oh he's a medical professional he's allowed to suggest it >:)

While he acts very chill about it, I think on the inside he's worried. He doesn't like people - especially the people he cares about - being in pain. And the fact that you can barely function scares him a little.

Also,, his,, pride is a little bitty bit wounded that he can't help you.

I think that after he lost the Astrolabe to you he was always a little sour about it?? Like after his redemption he doesn't blame you anymore, but he still feels a hint of inadequacy that he struggles with.

And in this moment, when the person he loves is suffering and he can't find the right spell to take the pain away,,

It feels like he's failing you. Like maybe if he was good enough to solve this, the Astrolabe wouldn't have abandoned him.

He tries to hide it but he's not good at it. Not good enough anyways.

You end up having to comfort him more than he comforts you. You end up tangled in bed together, both sipping tea and cuddled in blankets. Physical health day and mental health day.

[poisonouswritings]

Hello! I was wondering if you could do headcanons on the Griefers learning that MC wasn’t JUST a barista, but a bikini barista 👀 You could make it NSFW too if you want! Thanks, fren!

Hehehehe

GN!Reader, horni but no NSFW, someone help these idiots, AU where Lucan and Balsam are just fine thank you very much

Sage Lesath

Oh this man is howling

So bounty hunting isn't,, exactly,,, the most consistent form of income. So you decide to pick up some part time work at a Porriman café. The familiarity of it is definitely a bonus, and Sage hanging out there in his off time means he goes drinking a little less often. Win-win.

It's one of those times where he's sitting at the counter, tail swishing around and ears relaxed, that he points out your uniform (I'm thinking something similar to a maid café outfit) is pretty cute.

You glance down at yourself and say that it's fine, but it feels weird to be wearing so much clothing when you were practically in your underwear before.

Tail goes still. Ears twitch. What the fuck are you talking about?

Please,, please give this man a minute,,,, kitty is looking at you and his eyes are gradually glazing over because he is zoning out so hard to the thought of you prancing around carrying beer (yes he knows cafés don't sell beer but don't ruin his fantasy for him) in your panties.

Yeah there's,, there's a solid chance he's gonna ask you to dress up like that for him at some point. Maybe do a whole little roleplay?

'Gimme good service and I'll give you a big tip ;)' yeah okay Sage you actually start roleplaying and call him 'sugar' or something corny like that and he immediately starts blushing

Lucan de Bhaldraithe

Literally going '👉👈🥺 can you show me?'

Tail wagging so fucking fast

Presumably you didn't bring your uniform with you when you got yeeted to Astraea, but he'll help you put together as best a recreation as you guys can manage

You guys will be out somewhere and he'll be a step or two behind cause he's looking at your ass and you can always tell when he's doing it because he gives this dazed little giggle

The trope where the dog grabs your underwear and runs away with it but he grabs your uniform bottoms (or the re-creation of it).

Remember how I said Lucan has a panty fetish?

🙂

Honestly you could definitely talk him into dressing up with you! He thinks it's fun and lord knows he looks hot in it

Everytime you guys are at a bar or café,, he just,, looks at you,,, will hug you from behind and lean you against the counter and nuzzle your neck a little. Puppy is horny. Sorry not sorry.

He wants to 'serve' you ;)

Balsam

:| -> :) -> :D

No actually his first response is 'but what if someone spills somethin' hot on ya? Don't seem safe to me' and like

Sir You Don't Wear A Shirt

While he definitely can be a horn-y bastard (heh), he's also the most mature of the Griefers, so he doesn't immediately jump to flirting. Instead he asks some questions. Did you like your job? Get paid extra for it? Did your boss or coworkers or whoever make sure you didn't get harassed? Were you safe?

I just think our torrito has seen (or maybe been through) the dark and seedy underside of human nature, and it makes him a little protective and worried about you.

Which is not to say that he wouldn't lose his damn mind if you dressed up for him, of course. He's mature but he's still a slutty bastard.

I'm a big advocate for wearing red underwear around Balsam because he thinks it's funny. So you wear as close to your outfit as you can recreate but in red and he

Ohohohoho he picks you up and slings you over his shoulder to go to the nearest bed. Pats your butt. Asks if you serve cake >:)

[poisonouswritings]

*SLAM FISTS ON THE TABLE* LUCANS STUBLE THINGY. THE SLIGHT CHIN HAIR THAT SPREADS unDER HIS JAW UP TO HIS SIDE BUR NS.

-egg anon (dumb bitch anon)

*SLAMS FISTS ON THE TABLE x2* EGG YOU'RE SO RIGHT

Also can we talk about how his hair clips match his eyes?? He's so fucking cute I can't

S,,sandpaper-y,,, but in a good way

He likes to sneak up on you (how does he move so silently despite being so big? practice), grab you from behind, and furiously rub his cheek/chin against your cheek. Will not stop until you either shove him off (unlikely, he's a big boi) or your cheek is sufficiently pink and usually a little bit raw. He thinks it's hilarious. You do not.

Always kisses your cheek after to help you feel better

Lucan has his hands full cause he's carrying stuff,, you have your hands full cause you're helping him,,,, your shoulder itches,,,,,,, so Lucan just starts using his stubble to give you scritches

When Sage is drunk he uses Lucan's scruff as a scratching board.

Elowen keeps trying to get him to shave but whenever she gets too close he wraps her in a bear hug and starts scratching her face,, then she's yowling and he's laughing and they're idiot siblings

[poisonouswritings]

M4+ At the Americana

GN!Reader, a fuck load of characters, I specifically reference the Americana Outdoor Mall that's in Southern California (US) but really any outdoor mall is gonna be sufficient, colored bullets are romantic with that character (Felix, Anisa, Sage, Rime, Tulsi, Elowen, Balsam, Lucan)

Okay so today you guys are split into two (2) classes - Handlers and Ferals. Handlers are those of you with one or more braincell(s). That would be Rime, Tulsi, and Elowen. Ferals are those of you with zero braincells and who will probably end up accidentally either breaking something or committing a crime. That would be Felix, Anisa, Sage, and Lucan. Both you and Balsam are wild cards - whichever one you are, Balsam is the opposite. You guys can split into little groups but there has to be at least one Handler.

But you all walk in together. You're greeted with lines of boutiques and shops, little food stands, a gazebo, wide stretches of green grass, and two fountains, one of which boasts a golden statue and the other which spurts water in time with the music that plays throughout the area. Families and friends and people just enjoying the day walk around, laughing and chatting. Children play games and dogs playfully chase each other around. Birds chirp and warble and sing. With the sun shining and the breeze softly dancing around you all, it's just,,, peaceful. Soothing. Nice.

And now you're all here to wreak havoc.

There's a stand that sells toys. Not dolls or bouncy balls but little robots and gear puzzles and fidgets. Tulsi is immediately pulling you over there, her eyes bright in interest as she examines all of them. She picks one at random and carefully twists it between her fingers, starting to carefully pull it apart so she can figure out what makes it tick. You end up having to buy it as a result, but the way her eyes light up and she gets this little quirk to her lips whenever she figures out how one component fits with another, oh it makes whatever you paid well worth it.

Rime jokingly tells everyone that there are fish in the fountain and now the cats (Anisa, Sage, Elowen, and Lucan) are all staring into the water trying to hunt.

There's a candy store!!! You and Anisa walk in and the shopkeep offers you a sample. You guys feed them to each other. Anisa bites your finger a little and at first you think it was an accident, and that she just got a little excited with the promise of chocolate - but there's this little narrowing of her pupils and little poof to her hair and little grin on her face and Oh Yes, She Is Flirting

Sage, Lucan, and Balsam find a bar. You and Elowen get dragged along, sipping on something a little more mild and splitting a sandwich while the boys get plastered. Elowen is lowkey playing footsie with you under the table. Meanwhile Lucan is trying to braid Sage's hair while Sage tries to bite him and Balsam tries to balance a bowl of nuts on Lucan's head. Sage manages to shove Lucan off. Lucan nearly slams into you, but Elowen grabs you and jumps to safety, holding you against her chest while yelling at her brother and his idiot friends. You're all warm and safe and comfy in her arms tho

Felix and Rime find the bookstore!! You find them after they go missing for an hour and they're picking through the magic section. Books line the floors in haphazard piles. You make them put it all back but they obviously use magic to do it so it's not really like,, a punishment,,,,

That being said Felix and Rime in a bookstore!!!! The one in the Americana is three stories tall and I think that these two are spending an hour minimum on each floor. And by 'these two' I mean mostly Felix. If it is Felix that's slowing you down, you and Rime mostly just trail along after him while flirting talking about your plans for where to go next, where to get dinner, how Of Course You Can Make Better Coffee Than The Bookstore Cafe Baby, I Fully Believe In You

If you're more like Felix then Rime is trailing along after you guys, content to let you ramble and have your fun. You're pulling out your favorite books and excitedly explaining your favorite moments and characters and plot points and both the boys are so in love with you and Felix is asking you questions and for recommendations and he's gonna read every single book you tell him to and Rime has no idea what either of you are talking about anymore.

Lucan wants to get you flowers but,, I mean there's not a flower shop there,,, so he just finds a fucking rose bush and pulls some out and makes his own bouquet. He's very proud of it. He also probably bled a little because of the thorns so he might want you to kiss it better. Point is! Point is puppy wants to give you a present because he loves you

You guys can watch a movie!! There's a theater. Go get the seats in the back so you guys have a little bit of freedom. It's up to the Handlers to try and keep everyone quiet. Depending on what you watch, wildly different reactions!! Rime is debating the logic of the movie, Felix and Tulsi are captivated by the special effects and are arguing if it's magic vs practical, Anisa is eating popcorn, Sage and Lucan are making little jokes between themselves, Elowen is taking a nap and Balsam is actually watching the movie.

Side note Anisa and Sage would terrorize the snack counter. And you know those Coca-Cola Freestyle machines? I think both Felix and Tulsi would be trying those. Actually Lucan and Balsam would too but that's because they're trying to make the grossest combination possible to make each other drink. Elowen gets something normal but she laps it out of the cup like a cat.

Sorry just,, I wanna,,, I wanna point out,,,,, Sage cosplaying as Batman,,,,, Anisa being Catwoman,,,,, she's a cat but I'd bark for her,,,,,,,, Rime as Riddler??? Balsam as Alfred. Lucan as Gordon. Felix as Martinez maybe,,,, Tulsi as Bella Real??? I'd let her run a city. I trust her. I'd vote for her. I'd die for her. I don't know who Elowen would be in this fan casting. She's standing to the side making fun of everyone.

By the time you all stumble out of the theater (Felix sneezes on Rime and Rime threatens to beat him), the sun is sitting on the horizon. You have a little more time to good off.

Sage is immediately dragging you over to the grassy area for a cat nap. Either he has his head in your lap or he's dragged you to lay down and he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck,,, snoring purrs,,,,, so soft,,,,,,, kitty cat,,,,,,,,,,

That being said I think all the cat ilephtas wanna take a little nap in the sun.

Tulsi goes into one of the restaurants just to get a cucumber,,, she comes back,,,, all the cats are sleeping in a circle,,,, she puts the cucumber in the center of the circle, drags you over to a bench, and waits. Like an hour later the cats wake up, see the cucumber, and impulsively Freak The Fuck Out. Tulsi is hugging your arm and laughing into your shoulder because This Was So Worth The Wait

Balsam thinks it's funny to sneak up on them and loudly caw like a hawk. Elowen kicks him in the stomach and he finally stops. He Does Not Regret It.

Rime is hungry,, you offer to get him food but he just grabs a handful of grass and acorns. Deer.

Anisa wants to look at the stores!! There's a lot of cute clothes boutiques and she really wants to see some Earth fashion. Would she wear something like this? Maybe!!

Balsam says he wants to go look at stores but what he actually wants is to walk around with you. Very touchy, keeps either holding your hand or putting his arms around your shoulders or hugging you from behind or whatever. Casual domesticity. He will carry your bags because he likes being helpful :) Bas just seems like an act-of-service type of lover so

The sun goes down. There are fairy lights strung between the streetlamps, so they stretch across the sky overhead. The cats wake up.

Elowen is still half-asleep so she starts batting at the lights,, asks you why they've trapped fireflies in there,,,,, why aren't they blue,,,,,,,,,, once she fully wakes up she's a little embarrassed but she'd be so soft and cute like that,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[poisonouswritings]

On the same boat as the other anon, Lucan is on my brain all the time ajdhsjd Do you have anymore cuddly sappy headcanons for him? I want to hold his hand and go on a date like you would with a main LI <3

I will limit myself to a few (this time)

This man is a slut for physical affection!!! Even if it's platonic he still demands hugs and cheek kisses and ear scratches. If you're comfortable with it then he'd definitely reciprocate. Doesn't Care if it's in public or not.

Holds his friends' hands. Especially when drunk. Chain order goes Sage then Lucan in the middle (for ultimate handholding) and then Balsam at the rear and none of them can fucking walk so they all just pass out in the gutter. Bonus points if you, Elowen, and Tulsi have to drag them home, but even more bonus points if you guys just take all their weapons/money so it doesn't get stolen and then leave them there and go have 3-in-the-morning pastries

No! Public! Filter! He just says shit!! What's someone gonna do, stab him? Always makes sure you are safely behind him before he shit-talks.

He's the little brother so he's,, little bit of a spoiled brat with Elowen and you.

Tells puns. 90% of his jokes are puns. Balsam hates it but that only makes Lucan do them more.

He likes being in/running through the rain but hates thunder but likes lightning. Yes he's a struggle.

Honestly like,,, get a leash for him. Not even in a kinky way he just needs to be restrained sometimes.

Very passionate about the things he believes in!! So passionate that sometimes he gets caught up in it. He's a good man but doesn't always know when to take a step back. In the same vein I think when you initially meet him he's got a bit of a 'might means right' mentality

Love bites and friendship nibbles!!

I think when he takes you on a date it's to like,, an outdoor concert or bard performance or something. He gives me music vibes. And in that same thought I think he sings to you a lot

He sneaks up behind you and growls in your ear to startle you. He likes making you squeak.

I think he'd always give you the first bite of food

He,, is scared of ghosts,,,,

Takes care of you when you're sick but his only frame of reference is how Elowen took care of him when they were younger so some of the home remedies are,, not for humans,,,,

If I recall correctly he's technically a tiger? Please use this information irresponsibly. Make him dress as Tigress from Kung Fu Panda. Or Tony the Tiger.

[poisonouswritings]

modern au... Where.. sage is in a band... With Lucan, Balsam, Tulsi and elowen...

SAGE WRITING SONGS FOR MC<333 MC GOING TO ALL OF HIS SHOWS T-T.

making out back stage😼

Sage teaching MC how to play guitar, carefully guiding your hands to the proper frets and chords.. kissing their cheek when they do a good job.

If his band is somewhat popular...

HandiesInHisDressingRoom

SORDY I HAVE SI MUCH BRAIN ROT LOSLOL

CRYINGSCREAMINGTHROWINGUPILOVEBANDAUS

GN!Reader, I think it's so much funnier if their band is popular but you have no idea who they are, mix of scenario/HCs, NSFW under the cut

It's a normal day in the café when the bell above the door chimes and- hey that rhymes

:)

Anyways, normal day. Guy walks in. He's cute. You get the vague sense that you've seen his face around before but don't dwell on it. It's a café after all. Lot of repeat customers.

You can hear him humming.

He comes up to the counter to order and flashes you a pretty smile. You smile politely back and ask how you can help him today.

It's a standard response but then why does he seem surprised? His fluffy ears give a twitch and the tip of his tail flicks like you caught him off-guard. But he seems... A little pleased, too.

He orders some stuff - a latte, a sandwich, a cookie - and when you ask him for his name he seems a little amused.

'C'mon. Really? You don't know me?'

Shit, are you supposed to? You're about to say that it's just standard procedure or something, hoping to spare yourself the awkwardness of having forgotten someone, when something crashes behind you. You whip around to see your coworker having just dropped a plate of danishes that were gonna refill the display case. You rush over to check if they're alright but then they let out this very fangirl-ish (gender neutral) squeal and go 'Omg! You're Sage Lesath!'

And the guy does not seem surprised. He laughs a little. Your coworker rushes over to start pestering him with questions and compliments and more noises while you're stuck cleaning up the damn danishes.

You hear the bell chime again and more incomprehensible-excitement-noises so presumably your coworker can at least distract them for a moment while you finish cleaning up. There's only one cook in the kitchen back there, but luckily they don't seem to have any interest in whatever's going on so more danishes can get made.

When you come back, there's a whole ass group of people now and your coworker looks like they're about to faint. You go to get everyone else's orders and find out (mostly through breathless squeals) that the newcomers names are Lucan, Balsam, Tulsi, and Elowen.

It's only at this point when you're clearly (colloquially) nonplussed that your coworker finally asks why you aren't more excited. And you kinda shrug and say that everyone seems lovely but you're not entirely sure why you would be excited over your coworker's friends that you don't know?

You have never seen your coworker look this exasperated. Have they really failed you this badly? Do you not remember them practically tying you down to a chair and making you listen to that new album like, two weeks ago?? You admit that you'd started reading fanfics and totally zoned out.

Yes I'm plugging my own shit don't judge me

And the others are laughing at this whole scenario. Another customer is coming in so you finally shoo everyone away from the counter. You have a job to do y'know! And as your coworker finally scurries back to the kitchen, you take the new or-

...

Sage is lingering by the counter, ears perked and tail swishing in amusement. Once you take the order and the new customer moves off to the side, Sage settles his elbows on the counter and watches as you move around.

Normally you might be a little weirded out but... he looks like a cat. Well, more of a cat than before anyways. You're almost tempted to pet him. But instead you make some conversation. While Sage is certainly flirtatious and a little cocky, you can't help but notice something genuine underneath. When you casually ask if all the flirting is some kind of rocker persona... Well, he gets a little flustered.

When all the food and drinks are ready, you load it up on two serving trays and haul it over. Sage trots along after you like a lovestruck puppy.

The others ask you to sit with them for a little bit. You point out you're still on the clock but your coworker encourages you to do it, whispering (not all that quietly) that if you get free tickets then you have to give them one. You promptly shoo them away while they laugh.

Through a mix of Google, Spotify, and laughter, you find out they're a punk/rock/indie/whatever band (everyone keeps arguing about it. Google lists them as alternative) called The Griefers. Elowen is the lead singer, Tulsi is the drummer, Balsam is the keyboard/pianist, Lucan plays the bass, and Sage does guitar (though he sings once in a while as well).

R,,,rau,,,,,raunchy photoshoots,,,,,,,, hehehehehe,,,,,,,,,

When you scroll across a particularly suggestive pic of Sage (as in naked with his guitar - Zenith - covering his crotch) you immediately exit out of that.

'Aw, you don't like what you see? ;)'

He's all snuggled up next to you, so you flick his nose. He leans away but laughs, and his cheeks are a warm pink.

-

It doesn't take long after that for you to be invited to their practices. It's a little weird with all these stagehands and sound techs and whatever running around behind you, but over time you get used to it.

You get your own dedicated little loveseat and everything.

It doesn't take long for you to start seeing through everyone's professional personas. Lucan is an over-excited fluffball that loves animals, Balsam is a total sci-fi nerd, Elowen gets startled by jump scares and Tulsi likes anime.

And Sage? Sage is an absolute dork who gets flustered when you cheer for his playing or bring him a coffee or tell him he looks nice today.

One day, it's Elowen that invites you over to the soundstage. And so you clean yourself up, pack some snacks for everyone (they prefer danishes and cookies from the café over the stuff from the craft table. That's what they say anyways, but you're pretty sure they just like getting to have a friend bring them something personal), and head over.

You come in through the back like usual, stopping to chat with one of the stagehands you're friendly with, when the sounds of an argument catch your attention. Sounds like it's between Sage and Elowen. That's definitely not new. Especially when you hear Balsam laughing.

'-and it hardly seems fair,' Elowen is saying. You can't decide whether she sounds more annoyed or amused. 'Not to us, and certainly not to them.'

'Gods, why don't you just mind your own business?!' there's Sage, sounding as frustrated as ever. Elowen has a way of getting under his skin that makes his fur absolutely bristle.

'It becomes my business when they're all you talk about. If you cannot admit it to them, then you should at least be able to tell us.'

'Fine!' Sage snaps. You come around the corner to see the cat all fired up, tail lashing around and ears pinned flat. 'You want me to say it, I'll say it! I'm in love with MC!'

.... *Badum-tiss!*

That would be Tulsi - who just noticed you - hitting a rimshot.

Balsam, who notices you, starts wheezing.

'Don't laugh!' Sage is more exasperated than anything now. 'This is why I didn't wanna tell you guys, because you were gonna be assholes about it-'

Lucan beams brightly and waves to you. 'Hi MC! Did you bring those snake pastries I like? :)'

Sage pauses. His ears perk and twitch as he turns to look at you. His face goes bright red.

'.... Night take me.'

Balsam is wheezing so hard that he's gone completely silent. Help him.

-

You and Sage start dating after that.

Obviously you get backstage passes to all his shows. He loves getting to see you before and after a performance, especially since he's usually buzzing with so much energy and he needs a way to get it out.

On that note he's very touchy-feely when you're backstage. Sometimes it's making out and squeezing your butt a little, other times it's nuzzling and purring and getting his fur all over you.

It's inevitable that pictures of you two together get out. You get,, mixed reactions. On the one hand, a lot of people think you two are an absolutely adorable couple, and Sage is clearly happy with you. On the other hand, a lot of people are jealous and shit-talk you as a result.

So obviously Sage gushes about you every chance he gets. If you're comfortable being on his Instagram then he posts selfies of the both of you and always captions it with something about how sweet/kind/adorable/lovely etc. you are and how lucky he is to have you.

He also likes leaving those 'sugar daddy hmu' type comments on your page because he thinks it's really funny

If you don't really wanna be on social media then he respects that, and he saves all his gushing for interviews.

Teaches you how to play the guitar,, stands behind you so he can guide your fingers along the fret board,,, his palms are so warm and his fingertips are all calloused,,,,, kissing your cheek when you do it right,,,,,, humming along,,,,,, tells you that with a little practice you'll be the best player ever. Maybe you can replace him when he wants to take a break? Oh but if you need more lessons then he's happy to keep his arms around you ;)

You play with the band sometimes! Just during practice or when you guys are goofing around. Everyone teaches you a little bit about their instruments. You find out Balsam's keyboard can record things and he recorded Sage's impromptu love confession, so Sage will be in the middle of practicing a solo and Balsam will start playing it on full volume to fuck with him.

Sage does write songs for you and he's always so shy about it. He only ever sings it when you guys are alone though. Usually at his or your apartment/house/whatever.

You get free merch so that's cool

I think Sage used to kinda overdo it at the after parties, but now that you're there to keep him in check he's a lot calmer. Obviously still drinks and possibly gets a little high but he's definitely not blacking out like he used to. It's after one of those parties, when Sage is curled up in your lap taking a cat nap and you're stroking his hair, that Tulsi points it out.

He gets hit on a lot. He always has, of course, but now it almost seems to happen more often. It always kind of annoyed him before but now it downright pisses him off. Everyone knows he's in a very happy relationship, thank you very much, so can't they just fuck off or something? He always tells you about it when it happens, and it makes him sulk a fair bit. Do people think he's a cheater or something? That he's so sex-crazed that he would betray you like that?

You always hug him extra tight and kiss the top of his head and remind him that he's all yours, and that makes him feel better.

It's a little silly (at least, that's what Sage says) but he still gets anxious about performing sometimes. It depends on the crowd size.

And tonight's performance has a lot of people.

He's got about twenty, twenty-five minutes before he needs to be on stage for final checks.

His tail won't stop flicking around and his ears are flattened and he keeps rubbing the back of his neck.

You ask him if there's anything you can do to help. He looks over at you, amber eyes full of sincerity, and softly asks if you can just,,, let him forget about everything for a minute?

I think that's one of the things he loves about you. You see through the music and the rock persona and whatever to who he really is, and he just... Really needs to be reminded that he deserves love and affection. Not as the lead guitarist for the Griefers but as Sage Lesath, a dorky cat man who chases laser pointers and is spooked by ghosts and once walked into a door because he was too busy texting you to pay attention to his surroundings.

You :) tell him :) to sit down on the :) on the table :)

He's a little flustered but agrees, sitting on the edge of the little table. It creaks ominously but holds fine, so that's good.

You set your hands on his hips,, tuck yourself between his legs,,, cup your cheeks in his hands and kiss him all soft and gentle and sweet. He purrs into your mouth and gradually relaxes, tail winding around your thigh as he pulls you closer so your chests are flushed. You trail your fingers through his hair,, scritch behind his ears,,, give him a lil tug so his head falls back,,,, you kiss his cheek, the underside of his jaw, gently press your lips against the spot where you can feel his pulse jump. His breath comes out as a broken sigh, and his words become a little whimper.

You give his ears one last affectionate scratch before dropping your hand back down to his waist. Give his sides a little squeeze. Then start trailing your hands slowly up his sides, sneaking under his jacket. He's practically trembling under your touch.

As you gradually trail your kisses and bites down his neck and to his shoulders, you coo to him. Tell him he's such a good kitty cat, your good kitty cat, so cute and so sweet and so lovely,,,

And it doesn't take much for you to feel his cock getting hard in his pants.

He's panting softly, all flushed and lovely and eyes dark with need. You carefully unbutton his pants (after undoing the various belts and straps that are part of his costume) and roll them down to his knees to let his dick spring out. There's already some pre leaking out of the tip, and that makes it easy for you to take him in your hand and pump his shaft. His head falls back and bumps against the wall, purring and moaning and bucking his hips a little. You use your free hand to peel back the collar of his jacket and leave a hickey on his shoulder, where it'll be hidden.

Then you leave one on the crook of his neck, where it probably won't be hidden. The makeup artist will totally have your ass for that but it's worth it.

Oh, he looks so cute, all blushy and panting and drooling like that... You love him so much.... And tomorrow morning, you're gonna wake up wearing his jacket and make some breakfast in bed, and you guys can spend the whole day cuddling on the couch and binging movies and laughing. And in the evening, maybe you guys can go on a date? Just something simple, like ice cream and a walk in the park or something like that. And then you'll go home and ride him until he passes out :D

Sage whines that he's getting close. You could already guess from the way the tip of his tail is flicking around like crazy.

You quickly squat down and take the tip into your mouth, bobbing your head up and down a few times until he lets out a warning cry. Then you pull back, opening your mouth wide and letting the tip sit on your tongue and looking up at him. He's watching you.

And you wink.

And he cums in your mouth.

You wait until you're sure he's done - and it takes a second, kitty cat cums a lot - to suck the last of it off his tip and then swallow. Then open your mouth to show him you swallowed it all.

And even though he literally just came, his cock gives an interested twitch.

You quickly tuck him back in and stand up before he can get any ideas. Fix his jacket. Smooth his hair. Cup his cheeks and smooch his forehead.

He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you close and for a few minutes you guys just,, hold each other. He mumbles a soft 'thank you' into your shoulder.

One of the stagehands slaps on the door and tells Sage to hurry up. Sage growls lowly and squeezes you tighter. He'll be there in a second!

He just needs you close for a little longer.

[poisonouswritings]

I saw u mentioned something about MC and hang going to the beach for their road-trip and I just think that is a wonderful idea!!! Aaahhhh everyone looking absolutely amazing in their swim gear, just so cute!!! (Unfortunately Sage will probably be dying bc he refuses to make the moves but c’mon man, you can do it!!!) anyways I hope you have a lovely day <3

I've got like,, several different directions that people wanna take this series in so I'm gonna have to start labeling things as alt routes lol. Let's call this Part 3 and this can kinda be where things branch out.

Roadtrip Part 1

Roadtrip Part 2

GN!Reader, SFW (there will be an alt NSFW addition whenever I get it done), someone gets chased by seagulls, I wanna do a general beach post soon

After a couple days of driving (and plenty of sitting on Sage's lap, much to his chagrin) you guys come across a cute seaside town. It's a good place to make a stop and recover a bit (and let Lucan and Balsam catch up to you guys, since they left later than you guys did. Elowen says that's the reason she opted to drive with you all instead of waiting for them, but really it's because she wanted to help with The Plan), so you guys decide to spend a day there and leave the following morning.

(Un)Fortunately you and Sage shared a two-bed room last night, so no sleeplessness there. I mean maybe a little. But not significant enough to affect you the next day, so you're at full energy to enjoy the beach! You change into your swimsuit in the bathroom and throw some clothes on top. By the time you come back out, Sage is already in swimming trunks and Rime is already pounding on the door telling you two to stop fucking and get moving already!! When Sage opens the door to tell him to knock it off, Rime almost seems a little disappointed.

After stopping at the car to grab the umbrellas and blankets and so on, you all head out into town, stopping at a little café to grab some breakfast pastries and snacks before heading on to the beach.

What is everyone wearing? Well,, and bare with me here Pinterest is not very precise;

Felix is sitting under the umbrella, trying to keep out of the sun. He's wearing something like this.

Rime is sitting with Felix for the most part, but he's definitely suntanning a little. He's in something like this

Anisa couldn't bring her surfboard because it didn't fit in the car, so she has her boogie board. She's in something like this

Elowen says she's reading a book but,, cat instincts,,, warm sun,,,, zzz,,, wearing this

Tulsi in a bikini top and swim trunks,, she's building a sand castle while wearing this

Lucan and Balsam (when they finally show up) are matching. Specifically, Balsam got trunks and then Lucan thought it would be funny to get the same ones. So they're wearing these . Sage jokes that they look like one of those kind of couples and he gets double-noogied for it.

Speaking of Sage, he was gonna wear one of those funny trunks where it's like,, an elephant and your dick is the trunk,,,, but the thought of wearing that in front of you made his stomach flip so he's just wearing something like this

Side note once Lucan and Balsam show up they're throwing their arms around Sage's shoulders and taking him on a walk. Tulsi and Elowen have been keeping them updated on the situation and

Once they get out of earshot, Balsam is giving Sage's ears a tug and Lucan is shaking his shoulders.

You! Were! In! His! Lap! With! His! Hard-on! Against! Your! Ass! He! Shared! A! Fucking! Bed! With! You! And he still didn't make a move?? Sage is a self-professed player. He's seduced people with far fewer opportunities, so why the hell is he choking when it comes to you?

Sage, red-faced and scowling, bats them away. That's just it, isn't it? He can't do it because it's you. You're... The exception.

Lucan smiles sweetly and says that hey, now his wingmen are here, and between the three of them they can definitely figure this out! Meanwhile Balsam is grinning evilly over there.

Sage is,, a bit concerned,,,

The three of them head back over. As Lucan goes to scare Elowen awake (which will end horribly) and Balsam goes to mess with Tulsi's sand castle (which will end horribly), you trot up to Sage with your hands behind your back. He's still a little flushed from Balsam's and Lucan's teasing and seeing the excitement on your face isn't helping with that.

"What d'you got there?" His voice is light with bemusement.

You reveal a little seashell and motion for Sage to hold his hand out. When he does, you set the mini conch in his palm.

"The cutest shell for the cutest person on the beach :)"

*unintelligible noises of distress*

While Sage goes to put the shell in his bag (and cool off his cheeks), you round up the others for some volleyball. That involves getting Elowen to stop chasing Lucan, and Tulsi and Balsam to stop fortifying the sandcastle. Elowen just picks Anisa up and drags her over, and Rime comes along probably to show off to Felix a little bit

It's Sage, Lucan, Balsam, and Elowen on one team and Anisa, Tulsi, Rime, and yourself on the other.

If you're not good at volleyball, that's okay! Because as soon as Anisa hits the ball over the net Lucan is running after it and then bringing it back, tail wagging in excitement.

Puppy wants to play fetch plz

The game goes back and forth. While the Griefer side is definitely more powerful, Lucan (and Sage, and Elowen to a lesser extent) keeps getting distracted by the ball and fighting over it. Balsam keeps teasing all of them for it.

Anyways the game ends because Sage spikes the ball directly into your face. Everyone is freaking out except for Tulsi, who is wheezing with laughter because Sage Is Such A Fucking Idiot™ . Sage helps you sit down under the umbrella (he seems to think you might have a concussion, even if you assure him you're fine) and gets you some ice for your nose. He generally just hovers around you while not getting too close because he's afraid of hurting you again. Eventually you catch his hand and drag him over to sit next to you and then he finally settles. Now he's all embarrassed and can't look at you but his tail is wagging.

Snacc time! Everyone gathers around to have some fruits and chips and stuff. Sage jokingly offers to feed you. If you go along with it he starts stammering a little bit. You ask if he's blushing but he says it's a sunburn. Honestly it could be. He forgot to put on sunscreen earlier.

Tulsi, Balsam, Sage, and yourself all bury Lucan in the send. Lucan likes it. The sand is warm. Balsam and Sage give him boobs.

You wanna suntan,, roll onto your stomach and ask Sage if he can put some lotion on your back,,,, he's dead. His hands are trembling a tiny bit

As the sun goes down and the air starts to cool, you guys pack up and decide to walk around town instead. There are a lot of cute little shops and stands to check out, y'know?

Mermaid store! Mermaid store! Mermaid store! There's one in San Diego (or at least there was a couple years ago) and it's basically a bunch of mermaid/nautical little trinkets and souvenirs. Cute place. Sage is primarily talking to you and Balsam leans over and says he's being very 'shellfish' keeping you all to himself. He's very proud of his pun. Sage is not.

You guys end up a little diner,, sitting outside on the patio under some fairy lights and looking at the ocean,,, it's cold so Sage puts his jacket over your shoulders and sits next to you cause he's like a hearth,,,,, his face is still red but no one is sure whether it's from being flustered or being sunburnt,,,,,,, it's a little of both,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[poisonouswritings]

Sfw here!

Also I have no idea if I've said this before but modern sage is in a biker gang,,,,sage in a leather jacket with nothing inside,,,,,OH MY FUCKS BIKER SAGE FALLING IN LOVE WITH BARISTA MC. Just imagine you're walking into your usual cafe to grab a quick drink and all you see is a shit ton of scary looking bikers sitting at a table unable to eat their animal shaped bread cause it's too cute and their all taking pictures and gushing over it ;-;

KSNSKENEKEBROEKE BIKER ELOWEN BIKER ELOWEN BIKER ELOWEN BIKER ELO- *gets shot*

Nsfw warning!!

Do you think,,,,,when sage purrs,,,,like can you feel it on his tongue 👀,,,,,,,,,AhEm and in other part,,,ya know,,,,, isn't he technically a walking dild- *gets shot again*

-egg anon (dumb bitch anon)

GN!Reader, NSFW below the cut, Gods I need to see everyone in biker jackets, pretend I know anything about biker gangs

Imagine it's like,, a warm summer afternoon,,, getting close to evening,,,, you're in this cute little café right next to a bookstore,,,,,, you guys sell fucking boba and chai tea or whatever,,,,,,,,,

And then these four muscular leather-clad fuckers walk in. And the three guys are shoving each other around a bit, snickering at some joke, while the woman rolls her eyes at them,,, and your coworker silently darts into the kitchen because Fuck No They Look Scary You're On Your Own

And then they get to the counter and you're a little nervous but you put on your customer service smile,, and then the tall blonde guy shoves the white-haired guy directly into the counter,, he narrowly catches himself as you kinda jump back because you're startled,,, and then he straightens up, clearly a little embarrassed as he blindly reaches back to swat at the blonde as he smiles at you and asks if you guys have cheese danishes,,,,,,,

And then they all order stuff. And while they're waiting they start talking to you. The white-haired guy is being flirty and the lady smacks his shoulder and tells him to leave you alone, and that's how you learn his name is Sage. The others introduce themselves as Lucan, Balsam, and Elowen. You think Elowen might be the brains here but Balsam is also a strong contender. Lucan and Sage are,, clearly not.

Sage offers to take you on a ride ;) on his bike of course :3 why what were you thinking ;3 and then Elowen and Balsam both slap the back of his head because he's an idiot

They go on their merry way and you think that, huh, that was strange. Oh well. Your coworker finally comes out of the back and congratulates you for still being alive and you flick their forehead.

A few days later and the bikers are back! This time with a second lady who's much shorter and smeared with oil, with her jacket thrown over her shoulder to reveal muscular arms

'Ozzy-' EVERY POST HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE A TULSI THIRST POST LEAVE ME ALONE I LOVE HER

Anyways now you can clearly see that Elowen is Not The Brains because she's acting like a simpering fool so. Balsam it is.

They put in their orders and go to sit down,, except for Sage. He lingers by the counter and starts talking with you. Some of it is flirting and innuendo because he's just Like That but some of it is genuine too. Underneath the horndog exterior he's actually pretty sweet. He orders a little something extra for Tulsi because she had a hard day today. Then he asks when your break is and your coworker pops out of nowhere and says :) Oh :) It's Right Now :) and ushers you out and away. So you and Sage head over but :) they're short a chair :) you can sit on Sage's lap if you want ;)

You're about to go just grab a chair from another table when Tulsi casually just sits in Elowen's lap. Now you can sit next to Sage and Elowen looks like she's about to have a nosebleed.

They start coming in like,, every other day. They always get the cute animal pastries but then can't bring themselves to eat them because they're so adorable,,, you and Tulsi end up eating them because you're the only two that can

Th,,, their helmets,,,, Balsam's has the little horns,,,,,, Sage, Lucan, and Elowen's have little cat ears,,,, Tulsi's has bunny ears,,,,,,,,

Soft,,,,,,,,,,,

One time they come in late and stay until you close,,, it's raining/cold and Sage gives you his jacket and it's really warm and smells like him,,,,, and the others all have these knowing smiles while Sage is red-faced and snapping at them,,,,,,,,,, offers you a ride home,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, he always carries a spare helmet in case Tulsi ever forgets hers,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and you get to sit behind him and press your chest flush against his back and wrap your arms around his waist,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, he's like a sun-soaked stone and it would be so easy to fall asleep,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

If you don't wanna go home yet then he'll take you wherever you want. It can be as inane as the market to pick up some stuff or you guys can just cruise around and look at the city lights.

He's with you so he's happy wherever.

Okay so like a motorcycle is basically a big vibrator so it's not unheard of (or even all that uncommon) for riders - especially first-timers - to get turned on or even orgasm from the vibrations of the bike.

So please consider you're latching onto Sage and writhing a bit in your seat and at first he thinks you're just adjusting or whatever and then he remembers that Oh Yeah You Probably Aren't Used To This Maybe He Shoulda Warned You

Cut to like ten minutes later you guys are pulled over to the side of the road, half-hidden by trees, and you're perched on the bike while Sage is on his knees giving you head,, some of your pre is on his face but he doesn't mind,, and he keeps teasing you and telling you Oh You Better Be Quiet Because You Don't Know If Someone's Gonna Come Walking By ;) but he's doing Everything In His Power to make you moan because you just sound so pretty he can't help himself

Ten minutes later and his shaft is finally - finally! - sheathed inside you, pumping slowly in and out as you both adjust to each other,, and he bends down so he can press his chest against your back and nuzzle the nape of your neck and give you a little bite as he starts gradually speeding up,,, and now you're both moaning and panting and neither of you really care if there's anyone nearby, it just feels too good,,, and he's trying to whisper filthy shit to you about how good you feel wrapped around his cock and how every time he saw you in your uniform he wanted to bent you over the café counter and how when you called his name to tell him his order was ready he couldn't help but imagine you screaming his name like this,,,, but he's panting and grunting and moaning a little too much for the full message to get out so it's a bunch of half-finished thoughts because Fuck he wasn't expecting you to feel this good,,,,,,,

He grips your hips tight enough to bruise and holds you against him as he cums, his hips stuttering softly against yours as you tighten up around him with your own climax.

Luckily he also had a bottle of water on hand so you guys are able to semi clean up. You ask him if sex was his intention when he offered you a ride and he says that Actually He Was Trying To Be Cute And A Little Romantic Thank You Very Much, but he's also definitely not complaining ;)

Honestly I think just the sight of you in his leather jacket with your pants and underwear down around your ankles and his cum leaking down your inner thighs,,, I think that's enough to make him wanna go again.

On a separate note, I actually have another NSFW Sage post in my drafts rn and yes I do hc that his purring makes some very useful vibrations (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。