#loving someone so much that you are willing to sacrifice everything to save them

[joltiion14]

II episode 18 spoilers, BUT HERE'S A HUUUUUGE RAMBLE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

PAYJAY IS CANON PAYJAY IS CANON I'M FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT YAOI WHEN CAN I HAVE WHAT THEY HAVE

ahem anyways

episode 18 had me and my sister at the edge of our seats HOLY SHIT I LOVED THIS EPISODE... KNIFE X MEPHONE4S GUYS GUYS WHO'S WITH ME... ALSO KNIFE'S SACRIFICE TO SAVE MARSHMALLOW CAME FROM SOME FUCKING PEAK CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. THEY COULD NOT HAVE KILLED KNIFE OFF IN A BETTER WAY THAN THAT. SPEAKING OF SACRIFICES, my boy mepad... MY BOY MEPAD AHAHGSHSHAGHH rest in peace I LOVE YOU MEPAD....

I wanna quickly point out how emotional I got when cobs started threatening and beating mephone4, as a victim of child abuse this hit haaard. they did great writing the dynamic with those two, it felt realistic even in a fictional world. I FELT SO BAD FOR MEPHONE THAT ENTIRE TIME I JUST WANTED TO HUG HIM FUCK YOU COBS.

also I may or may not be a box kinnie now. I GOT SPOILED THANKS TO A THUMBNAIL I SAW OF A LEAKED II18 VIDEO, SO I KNEW BOX WAS GONNA BE IMPORTANT, but holy shit I did not expect them to be one of the most relatable characters the SECOND they came on screen and started explaining their story.

I might get blocked by multiple people for saying this, but since the last 2 episodes, I've been shipping tacophone. HEAR ME OUT. microphone and taco talked things out some, mic forgave taco and understood her and gave her a chance to improve, and so she did, thanks to microphone willingly giving her a chance even after everything. sure, a relationship between the two would be toxic in the previous episodes, and I fully agree. But toxic or unhealthy relationships CAN be fixed if both partners are willing to try and repair their relationship. AND PLUS, THOSE TWO ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER I JUST AAAGHHHH.... I can't get over the fact that soap pulled the "if you hurt her, I will hurt you" kinda thing on taco, once microphone introduced soap to her. I developed a headcanon that mic and soap are like sisters about a year ago and I guess that goes to show some more now

anyways, I CANNOT leave out the fact that SUITCASE FUCKING WON. I FULLY EXPECTED NEITHER OF THEM TO WIN, BUT OH MY GOD DID SHE DESERVE IT. Her and knife both deserved it actually. It's hard to truly decide LMAO

anyways, mephone4 in that episode... I love him your honor he's my new son FUCK YOU COBS. anyways, just like mic and taco, he tried to fix his mistakes with everybody. he apologized to... EVERYONE. Even toilet , who genuinely was someone mephone4 didn't deserve as an assistant considering how much of an ass he was towards him in the earlier season. Even then, toilet stayed with him to the bitter end, and stayed loyal to mephone. And in the end, he got to see mephone4 turn into a better person. Even bad people with the worst backgrounds or childhoods can become better, and that's what Mephone4 did. he apologized, then made the decision to stay away from everybody and give them space after what he did to all of them, and I think that was amazing on his part. He didn't tell them what to do next, and let them all know that they were free, they always were. AND THEN WE GOT THE MASHUP BETWEEN ALL OF THE SONGS IN THE SHOW YEAAAAAAAAA

overall, id rate this episode AND THE ENTIRE SEASON AS A 49/40 (reference heh). Inanimate insanity has been my favorite show for many, many years and I'm so glad it got an ending as good as this one. I will forever be grateful for the show Adam, Brian, Justin and all the rest of the cast managed to create for us. Thank you. PLUS ALL OF MY DREAMS CAME TRUE

except for the fact that lightbulb and paintbrush didn't kiss when can we have that

[scattered-under-moonlight]

[shima-draws]

Grips my shirt and tears it apart so that all the buttons go flying and SCREAMS I love Law and Cora so much what the FUCK!!!!

[opbackgrounds]

This scene with Sanji is one of his most important moments in the series, and in my opinion also one of the most difficult passages in the manga to interpret, because to completely understand it you have to look at the manga holistically rather than this scene by itself.

The big question that needs answered is why does Oda let Zoro "win" here by having him be the sacrifice instead of Sanji. Both are equally willing and both are identified much later on as the Wings of the Pirate King, implying that they have similar importance (although vastly different roles) within the Straw Hat crew.

If we go back to Sanji's introduction on the Baratie, his big flaw was that he lacked the "spear of spirit" to pursue his dream. Since he's been a boy he's wanted to find the All Blue, but even when he had the opportunity to go after that dream he chose to stay on the Baratie out of a feeling of obligation to Zeff. Sanji put the continued existence of the restaurant over his own life, something Luffy rightfully called him out for at the time, and even at the end of the arc had to be pushed away by Zeff and the other chefs before he finally set sail for good.

On Drum, Sanji once again almost died protecting Nami and Luffy during the avalanche, resulting in a broken back that required surgury from Dr. Kureha. Luffy again calls him out (note the English translation here isn't entirely accurate, see here for a breakdown), and with his power there's a good chance Luffy could have gotten them all out of trouble without all the dramatics by Sanji.

Something similar happens on Skypiea, when Sanji puts himself in the way of Enel so that Usopp and Nami can be saved. This case is perhaps more justifiable given the extreme situation they were in, but nonetheless he was still quick to throw his life away.

Then on Enies Lobby Nami--while not criticizing his chivalry--calls out Sanji for simply not running away from Kalifa, instead just accepting that he's going to get the shit beat out of him, and possibly die.

So there's a pattern of self-destructive behavior. Sanji repeatedly puts his life on the line when he doesn't need to in order to preserve the lives and dreams of the people he loves. Even him constantly simping over Nami and Robin falls a little into this category, because if either of them told him to take a long walk off a short pier I have no doubt he'd comply. It's that same extreme willingness to sacrifice anything and everything for the people he cares for that we see in Baby 5, except Sanji was fortunate enough to not be surrounded by people that encourage these worst impulses of self-destructive behavior. As he says here in Thriller Bark, he's just the cook. Luffy can always just find someone else.

(The glory of Whole Cake Island being Sanji realizing, no, Luffy can't, and he won't).

And it is finally on WCI that get to the heart of why Sanji is like this with yet another episode of putting his own dreams and happiness aside for the sake of others, and not until Wano that we finally see him take the first steps toward asking others for help instead of passionately throwing his life away when he doesn’t need to.

When Zoro first offered his head to Kuma, the prominence of his dream was first and foremost. Notice that Sanji never mentions the All Blue. One Piece is a series that places the pursuit of one's own ambition above all else, even if that ambition is selfish. Sanji hasn't yet learned to be selfish, so Zoro knocks him out and ends up being the one to accept Luffy's pain. Sacrifice isn't sacrifice if the person doesn't value what they're giving up, and right now Sanji clearly doesn't value his own life compared to the rest of the crew.

Next chapter Oda will speak through Brook to confirm that Sanji's willingness to give himself up wasn't foolish or stupid. It's just that he's missing a piece of the puzzle, and that's not something he'll have for a long time yet.

[bhaalble]

I like that Last Unicorn quote as much as the next guy but I do always wind up feeling a little detached from analysis that paints Astarion's disapproval as purely envy. Partly because. No one's doing this for Lae'zel for instance even though she has similar disapproval and similar trauma (all she can remember is a hostile physically and emotionally exploitative environment which expected perfect strength and obedience from her or else she would be punished or killed). But also partly because it feels pretty detached from everything he actually has to say about it.

The thing about Astarion is he loathes weakness. He loathes sentiment and he loathes dependence. You can see this when he actually opens his mouth up about the people he disapproves of saving, but also incredibly loudly when he talks about the other companions, as well as his fellow spawn. If Lae'zel submits to Vlaakith he talks scornfully about how some people just come to love their chains. He's confused and put off if Wyll submits to Mizora to save his father. In every conversation with his fellow spawn (at least when hes not actively manipulating them) he's dismissive and harsh, and clearly he's perfectly willing to sacrifice them for the sake of himself.

There's an obvious origin point of those feelings, of course. Cazador's abuse is designed to actively kill off empathy in his spawn, both towards each other and towards victims. The last time Astarion prioritized someone over his own skin he got locked in a tomb for a year. We can see glimpses of it with the other spawn too, how his siblings are (apparently uncompelled at first) willing to drag Astarion back to their master for their freedom, how Petras' first dream of freedom is getting to drain another person dry. Astarion certainly doesn't seem to feel any real sense of solidarity with them, likely because Cazador understands that them building a community is a threat to his authority the way it was to his own master.

I'd also argue its Astarion projecting his own self-loathing outwards. So much of his quest is about his desperate attempt to escape from who he was. He's been given a chance to slip free of the limitations of being a spawn. He clings to that because of course he would. He also instinctively begins to run over everything in his path, because if there's anything he has learned over the past 200 years its that good things can always be taken away unless you make sure to remove any and all possible threats to that scrap of well-being. He's disdainful of people in need of help because they represent who he fears to go back to being! He calls his siblings "poor fools" while refusing to confront the fact that had it not been for the tadpole he would be in exactly their position, forced to cling to the hope that Cazador is telling the truth for once because escape isn't an option either way. He becomes irritated when Tav slows down to help the unfortunate because they represent roadblocks on his own path to safety.

There's an idea in mental health stolen from airplane safety: that you shouldn't help anyone else until your own mask is secure. What they don't tell you, speaking from personal experience at least, is that PTSD, especially for long term trauma, has a way of making you feel like your own mask will never be secure. And while that's scary, and it sucks, and there should be the utmost patience for it: no one is going to realize that mask is secure for you. Eventually you are going to have to accept the fact that you are breathing just fine. Eventually you are also going to have to accept that people asking something of you isn't them endangering you, even if it can sometimes (often) feel like it. It doesn't make you obligated to help them. But it does mean you have to stop reacting to them like a threat, because not 5 minutes ago that was you.

I think the idea that he's only mad because he's jealous is a gratifying fantasy. He didnt feel safe before, but now through your PC and the power of love he'll feel warm and cozy enough to forgive you for not being there to begin with. But I also think Astarion cannot live in a reality where he's never pushed back on. His instinctive self-protective movements are a coping mechanism, yes, but coping mechanisms developed under survival conditions can also be a way of keeping you frozen in your trauma. Outside of the environment they were necessary for, they can even hinder you from growing in the ways you need to grow to move past what happened to you. Sometimes, you need to stop a baby tiefling from getting crazy murdered by a snake because it turns out. That can happen to anybody not just people who are weak and stupid and deserve to die anyways not like me I'm normal-

[poohsources]

🐝  *  ―  𝑺𝑨𝑪𝑹𝑰𝑭𝑰𝑪𝑬𝑺 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

GENERAL ❛  run! i'll hold them off for as long as i can.  ❜ ❛  i can buy you some time. go, now!  ❜ ❛  i cause this, and i'll be the one to fix it. no matter the cost.  ❜ ❛  it's the only way!  ❜ ❛  no matter what it takes, i won't let anything happen to you.  ❜ ❛  i need to make this right. this is my only chance.  ❜ ❛  i'll go through this so we have a chance. it's a risk worth taking.  ❜ ❛  you're more important than me. so let me do this to save you.  ❜ ❛  putting your needs ahead of mine is the only way i know.  ❜ ❛  can't you see i'm trying to save you?  ❜ ❛  i'll promise to keep you safe for as long as i can.  ❜ ❛  you know i'd jump in front of a bullet for you, right?  ❜ ❛  there are some people worth dying for ...  ❜ ❛  i trusted you with everything, and this is how you repay me?  ❜ ❛  i promise, i'm gonna do everything in my power to protect you.  ❜ ❛  i'm willing to do whatever it takes to prove my worth to you.  ❜ ❛  you don't have to sacrifice yourself for me. we're in this together.  ❜ ❛  are you sure you want to give up your only chance at freedom?  ❜ ❛  go! i'm not sure how much longer i can hold on ...  ❜ ❛  forget about me and save yourself. please.  ❜

LOVE / RELATIONSHIPS ❛  i love you, but you deserve better than what i can offer.  ❜ ❛  your happiness means more to me than my own.  ❜ ❛  i have to let you go, even if it breaks my heart.  ❜ ❛  i'll support your dreams, even if it means letting go of mine.  ❜ ❛  if this is truly what you need, i'll go.  ❜ ❛  you're worth waiting for. no matter how long it takes until you come back.  ❜ ❛  this is going against everything i stand for, but i'll do it for you.  ❜ ❛  you will always have my unwavering support.  ❜ ❛  your smile is worth the sacrifices i'm willing to make.  ❜ ❛  sometimes, there are more important things than me. you, for example.  ❜ ❛  i will always love you, but we're not good for one another. so i'm letting you go.  ❜ ❛  you deserve to find happiness with someone who isn't as destructive as me.  ❜ ❛  you will always be my first choice, but i know i'll never be yours, and that's okay.  ❜ ❛  no matter what happens, you will always hold a special place in my heart.  ❜ ❛  i'm gonna do whatever it takes to make you smile again.  ❜ ❛  you make me wanna be better. you make me wanna be good.  ❜ ❛  you don't have to sacrifice your dreams just to fulfill mine.  ❜ ❛  if you don't want to be with me anymore, just say so and go.  ❜ ❛  i won't let you make any more decisions for me!  ❜ ❛  remember, i'm doing this because i love you.  ❜

[dunmeshistash]

It might be a few years until we get to the ending of dunmeshi in the anime but 🥲 I think about it often than Laios' ending is kind of bittersweet. Never full, never able to see monsters in person, having to be a King when thats never been something he's strived for or wanted... I feel a bit sad for him, and Its beyond the story but I wonder if he ever gains peace with all those consequences. Of course he has duties now as a king, but I wonder if theres some depression there given his hunger and lack of monsters. He has his friends at least who've grown to really care about him 🙏

It is bittersweet but I think that bitter sweetness makes the ending great, Dungeon Meshi has a very ideal happy ending that could almost come of as a little "deux ex machina" with everything being resolved, nobody dying and a bright future in front of them.

But in the end SOMEONE had to make a sacrifice to save them, and that someone was Laios, at first it seems like a comic relief moment for the comedy monster eating story that his greatest wish was to be near monsters, but the more you think about it the sadder it is. So there was something to be paid for the happiness of the other characters and I think Laios is great for having sacrificed his desire for his friends.

I'm not sure if you've read the Kensuke Monster Tidbits but I think that one pretty much tells us how Laios is coping with his new situation

In this he comes to therms with his reality, even if it's sad he must leave behind what he truly desired/loved, it was a risk he took to save humanity and he was willing to pay for it.

And he did find something new to dedicate himself to! Something he could still do in his current situation!

In the end, for as sad as it is, I don't think he regrets his sacrifice

[andvys]

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 10

Warnings: slight angst, mentions of Billy groping reader, Billy saying gross things about reader (as always), mentions of weed and alcohol, Steve’s pov!

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!cheerleader!reader , Steve Harrington x Nancy Wheeler

Summary: Steve learns how to move on from the past and give the love he wanted a second try.

Word count: 5.1k

A/N: @mysticmunson thank you for helping me with ideas and being a huge inspiration as always, I love u!! 🫶🏻

series masterlist

-

Winter break is almost over and 1984 has passed in a blur. So much has happened, things that Steve didn’t think would happen. Had someone told him that he would start a new year without you, a year back, he would call them crazy. You had always been there, walking into every year with him.

This time you are not here. You weren’t the one to kiss him at midnight. You aren’t the one he will go home with. He can’t help but wonder if you kissed him at midnight. If you think about him the way he thinks about you, right now.

He shouldn’t be. He should be thinking about her. Nancy who is willing to stay with him even after he confessed to her that he still loves you. The day after you left him standing in your driveway, he told her everything. He told her about the kiss that almost happened if you hadn’t pushed him away. He told her about the fight you two have had. He told her about the party. He came clean about everything. He promised himself that he wouldn’t lie or keep any secrets anymore. He wants to be better.

She didn’t get angry at him like he thought she would. She seemed to understand it but she was hurt and she was ready to end things. He was too. 

He didn’t see a point in keeping the relationship going. Why should he? You are the one for him, you are the one he wants, you are the one he loves. 

They had talked about breaking up but he hated the thought of being alone, he hated the feeling of being unneeded and unloved. He thought about your words – She is the one for you. You should be with her. I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me.

You had always been the selfless one, the one who would sacrifice her feelings to save someone else's. You saw something in him with Nancy, something that you didn’t see in him when he was still with you and he couldn’t help but think that maybe you were right. 

Maybe she is the one for him, after all.

Maybe he just really has to let you go so he can let her in. Maybe he can be good for her, the way he could never be good for you. Maybe he can be a better boyfriend for her. Maybe he can change. Maybe he can learn. Maybe he can learn how to stop loving you. Maybe he can be happy with her. Maybe he can make her happy. Maybe he can get you back someday. Maybe. 

They didn’t break up. He didn’t leave and she didn’t leave him but they settled on a break. 

On Christmas night, he went on a walk and passed by your house. He saw you with him and the sight of you standing under the falling snow, smiling up at him as though he is the only good thing in this world made him feel sick. He didn’t stick around long enough to see that you had never kissed him, that you simply went back to throwing snowballs at each other.

He went back to Nancy the next day and asked for a second chance, a fresh start. He didn’t question why she hesitated, he didn’t question the guilty look in her eyes. She said yes and that’s all it mattered. 

She is all that matters now. 

Steve might never let you go but he is willing to try. 

You don’t want him anymore and the look in your eyes showed him that you won’t ever give him a second chance again. It’s over.

You are moving on. 

And so should he. 

And he tries, he really tries. But when school starts and he sees you again, he can’t ignore the pain in his chest when you walk past him like you are nothing but strangers. 

When he left you, you pretended that he didn’t exist. You didn’t acknowledge his presence, you always acted like he wasn’t there, like he was a ghost. 

But now, after you talked things out and you were the one to leave, this time, things are different. You don’t pretend that he doesn’t exist, you do acknowledge his presence now and you don’t act like he isn’t there. You see him and you don’t pretend to not see him when you walk past him. Your eyes lock when you see each other in the hallway or in the parking lot but the look in your eyes that he was used to, is long gone. There is nothing in your eyes when you look at him. There is no love, no happiness, no excitement, no warmth, no longing. All these things are long gone. The way you look at him now, is the way you look at a stranger you pass by. He has become a stranger to you and that hurts so much more than being ignored by you. 

You don’t see him as your friend anymore, you don’t see him as your past lover anymore, you don’t see him as anything good in your life. 

Every time he thinks that it can’t hit him any harder, it hits him even harder. The realization that he is nothing but a stranger to you now, broke his heart all over again and took everything in him not to break down in the school's hallway. 

A month had passed since the night you had become strangers and while you seem to have a great time, Steve is trying his hardest to keep himself together, to be a good boyfriend for her. 

Billy’s laughter pulls him out of his thoughts, he narrows his eyes at the blond, who pushes Tommy back so he can look at himself in the mirror. 

The smell of the locker room makes Steve feel sick and he can’t wait to get out. A cloud of cologne mixed with sweat and the fog from the showers hangs over the room. He looks into the mirror as he dries his hair with the towel. Drops of water dribble down his chest. Steve looks at Eddie through the mirror. He is surprised to see him here. Usually, he skips gym class. His friend Jeff is standing next to him as he puts his shirt on, laughing at something Eddie had whispered to him. 

Eddie is still shirtless, his jeans hang low on his hips, the chain jingles as he fastens his belt. Steve can’t help but compare himself to Eddie. His hair is darker and longer and so are his eyes. He has tattoos, on his arms and on his chest – something that he doesn’t have. He wears rings and chains, clothes that Steve would never wear. 

Is Eddie your type? Is he the kind of guy you go for now?

“Hey Munson!” 

Steve glances at Tommy, who is already wearing a smirk on his face as he looks the metalhead up and down. 

Eddie turns around to face the jock. 

“I never seen you in P.E., are you trying to impress someone?” 

“Yeah, your mom.” Eddie smirks and turns back around to put his shirt on.

Billy snorts, licking his lips, he glances at Steve, “nah, he’s trying to impress someone else.” 

Tommy notices the smirk on Billy’s face. A laugh falls from his lips, “aw, is the freak trying to impress the queen?”

Jeff rolls his eyes and looks down as he puts his shoes on. He already knows what’s coming next.

“I don’t think you can impress her with your shitty car and your dirty trailer, Munson.”

Jeff notices the way Eddie clenches jaw, the way his eyes fill with anger. 

Steve narrows his eyes at Billy and Tommy. 

“Yeah. I mean going from a rich kid to some lowlife trailer trash–” 

“Shut the hell up, Tommy,” Steve snaps at his old friend. “Leave him alone.”

Everyone in the locker room, including Eddie, turns to look at Steve in shock. Never has Steve ever stood up for anyone, let alone someone like Eddie. 

Steve is sick of the cruel words he hears daily, they may not be directed at him but he still can’t stand them. He doesn’t like him but Eddie doesn’t deserve this. He helped him and made sure he got home safe when he got drunk at the Hideout, he owes this to him. 

He glares at his old friend and steps towards him. 

“Put your clothes on and get the fuck out of here, man. I’m sick of you assholes.” 

Tommy laughs in surprise. 

“Wheeler is turning you into a pussy, Steve.” Billy says as he looks at him over Tommy’s shoulder.

Steve closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, he clenches his jaw. 

Tommy chuckles to himself and shakes his head, “he was always a pussy.”

Eddie looks at Steve, waiting for him to react. To his surprise, he turns around and continues to put on his clothes. 

“Says a guy who runs after balls and his cheating girlfriend.”

Jeff snaps his head up to look at his friend, he holds his fist up to his mouth as he tries to keep himself from laughing.

Steve looks at Eddie in surprise and narrows his eyes at Tommy, whose face gets redder each passing second. His breathing picks up and he clenches his fists. 

“What did you just say?” Tommy mumbles as he walks towards Eddie, who smirks at him. 

It’s no secret that Carol is cheating on Tommy, she’s been caught with a few too many basketball players behind the bleachers and even tried to make a move on Billy, in front of Tommy.  

“You heard me,” Eddie says, smirking. He isn’t afraid of Tommy or any of the other guys that try to give him a hard time. He isn’t immune to the cruel words or the bullying but he is good at hitting them back with harsh words, not caring that he might get hit with something more than a few words. Eddie put on armor and a front that keeps people like Tommy away from him, they always make sure to keep their distance – too afraid of the freak who worships the devil.

Billy looks at Eddie, he raises his brows. 

“You’re getting a little bit too comfortable back there, freak.”

“Just speaking the truth,” Eddie shrugs, snorting at Tommy who tries to intimidate him with a glare. He doesn’t step close enough to be able to even throw a punch, he keeps a safe distance, as always. 

“Careful there, Hagans. Or you might get sacrificed to the devil tonight.” Billy smirks.

Tommy finally backs away, shaking his head. 

Steve sighs to himself, he grabs his backpack and walks towards the door. He wonders how he could ever be friends with someone like Tommy. 

Why didn’t he listen to you when you told him that he was no real friend? 

Why didn’t he listen to you when you told him how awful he was?

Why didn’t he care when you told him how much you hated how he acted when he was around Tommy and Carol? 

How couldn’t he see how awful they were when he was still with you? 

Would things be different if he dropped them earlier on? 

Would things be different if he dated her first?

Steve steps out into the hallway. It’s quiet and no one is around after the last period, no one except for you. 

His breath gets caught in his throat.

You are here, leaning against the wall, looking down at the book in your hand. You are wearing your cheer uniform, you let your hair loose, the green scrunchie is around your wrist. The dark denim jacket is thrown over your shoulders. 

You haven’t seen him yet, you are too absorbed in the book you are reading. 

Another deja vu. 

This moment takes him back to all the times you waited for him after cheer practice. He would walk out of the locker room to find you waiting for him, sitting on the floor, reading a book or drawing in your notebook. 

The door shuts behind him and you look up, finally noticing him. 

He waits for something, he doesn’t know what but he waits to see that look in your eyes. 

The longing, the sadness, the love. 

He doesn’t. 

There’s nothing in your eyes, nothing except for disappointment because he is not the one you have been waiting for. You look over his shoulder before your eyes meet his again, you give him a tight lipped smile, the way you would give to a stranger. It hurts. 

“Hi,” he mumbles with a slight, sad smile on his face. 

“Hey,” you mumble before you look back down at the book in your hand. 

The door opens behind him and he steps to the side. Eddie and Jeff walk out, glancing at him as they step into the hallway. 

“Y/n, you didn’t have to wait for me,” Jeff jokes, putting his hand over his heart.

You giggle. 

Eddie nods at Steve before he turns away to look at you. 

Steve watches the way you greet Eddie, the way your eyes light up and a huge smile takes over your face when you look at him. He watches the way you wrap your arms around him.

“I can’t believe you didn’t skip,” you grin and squeeze his shoulder. 

Eddie rolls his eyes but he smiles at you, “I’m trying to graduate.” 

You put the book in your backpack and pick it up, throwing it over your shoulders. You hook your arm around Eddie’s and grin at him, “mhmm, you’re doing good.”

You are helping him graduate, the way you wanted to help him. Steve looks at you but you don’t spare him a second glance. Your attention is elsewhere. 

He watches you leave. He watches the way Eddie throws his arm around your shoulder and pulls you into him, ruffling your hair playfully. 

Steve looks down, he swallows the lump in his throat and turns around to leave.

-

February, 14th 1985 

Steve looks down at the note in his hand, a smile is tugging at his lips. His heart skips a beat when he looks at the red flowers in his other hand. For the first time in a while, he is excited. 

It’s Valentine’s day. 

He is taking Nancy out on a date. He had planned it all weeks ago. First, he will take her out to dinner at Enzo’s and then he will take her home where he had prepared a surprise for her. 

He looks at the note she had left in his jacket this morning. He puts it back in his pocket and walks towards the cash register, greeting the old man behind it. He places the flowers and the chocolate on the counter and reaches for his wallet. 

A love song is playing on the radio, the store is decorated with pink paper hearts. 

“Going on a date?” The old man asks, smiling at Steve. 

“Yeah, I’m taking my girlfriend out to dinner.”

The doors slide open and as he hears the sound of your voice, his smile instantly falls. He can’t help but look. 

You’re not alone, of course you are with him and you look so beautiful but different. You are wearing a skirt, one that is certainly too short for this weather, the fishnet tights do nothing to protect your skin from the cold. You are wearing platform boots and a short leather coat – dark colors, dark nails, red lips, curls and bangs. You are starting to look like the female version of him. 

He wonders if your personality had changed as much as your appearance has.

“This is gonna be the best night ever.” Steve hears Eddie say. 

“I know it will be,” you giggle, “I still got the credit card my dad gave me, we can book a hotel room afterwards.”

Eddie wiggles his eyebrows at you, playfully. 

You disappear in the snack aisle, your voices fade away and so does the excited look on Steve’s face. 

“That’ll be $9.80.” 

It’s very clear to him that you are on a date. With Eddie. And that’s okay, right? It’s okay that you are on a date with someone else. It’s okay that you make yourself look pretty for someone else. It’s okay that you have moved on. 

He should be happy for you, right? 

He should be happy to know that you are not in pain anymore. 

But then why does it hurt so bad?

He shakes his head and looks back at the cashier, he places a ten dollar bill on the counter, he takes the flowers and the chocolate and leaves, not wanting to risk running into you.

-

Living in a small town, means running into the same people, all the time. People you don’t want to see, people you want to avoid, people you don’t like, people you wish you wouldn’t think about anymore. 

Steve had a hard time getting over you, it took him weeks to accept the fact that you and him, will never be a thing again – platonic or romantic. You are a part of his past, a part that he can never get back. So he let you go or he convinced himself that he did. 

While things may not be ideal, he feels content with the way his life is now. He is happy. He has a girlfriend, a group of rowdy kids that had become a huge part of his life, he will graduate soon and he is in love. 

He let go of the past that he kept pining after.

It’s still weird to see you and not be with you but it’s okay now. He can walk past you and not feel his heart breaking when you don’t acknowledge him anymore. He can hear your voice and not long to hear you talk to him. He can look at you and not feel himself yearn for you. 

He prefers not to see you, which has become one of his biggest challenges in the past few months. Everywhere he goes, he sees you, and every single time, you are with Eddie. Well, maybe not every single time. Sometimes you are with Heather and Chrissy or your new friend, Robin Buckley. Steve knows her from Mrs. Click’s class, she is nice but he doesn’t know much about her, except that she is in the school band and your newest friend.

You look happier than ever. Your eyes are shining with happiness every time he sees you, your skin is glowing and you seem to have a constant smile on your face, especially when you are with Eddie. 

It’s been three months ever since you had gone separate ways and you changed, a lot. Your hair is longer now, your clothes are different, your music taste has changed, you are learning how to play guitar, you write songs with Eddie and you work at the record store three times a week after school – he only knows that because Max Mayfield told him, who apparently is your number one fan now. You are her english tutor and ‘the much cooler older friend’. She loves to brag about you to the boys and to him. Steve likes her and she somehow became a little sister figure in his life but he hates the smug look on her face whenever she tells him stories about you. 

He doesn’t want to think about you, he doesn’t want to talk about you, he doesn’t want to see you. 

But it’s almost impossible to leave the house and not run into you. Whether it’s the school’s hallway, the classroom, the grocery store, the movies, some house party, the cafe downtown – he always runs into you. Tonight, it’s the diner. 

He didn’t even see you at first when he walked in. He was in a good mood all night, after a long day of studying with Nancy, he went to Benny’s Burgers to get some takeout for them. He placed his order and waited by the counter when he heard your laughter over the 70s music from the jukebox. 

Now he can’t take his eyes off of you. You are sitting in a booth with Eddie, his arm is behind you, his fingertips linger on your shoulder. You are both laughing. Your hair is a little messy, just like his. 

You are giggling, a lot. 

You must be drunk, Steve thinks. Or maybe, you are just this happy around him. 

Eddie dips the fries into the milkshake and feeds them to you which makes both of you laugh when the milkshake dripples down your chin. Steve forces himself to look away when Eddie catches it with his thumb, though he can’t keep his eyes away for too long. 

Steve wonders what the two of you are. With the way you are around each other all the time, you must be a couple by now. It looks like you are one. Steve doesn’t even notice that he is clenching his jaw and his fists when he watches how Eddie cups your cheeks and pulls you closer to kiss your cheek loudly, in the most obnoxious way. Steve can’t help but roll his eyes. 

He drums his fingers against the counter and narrows his eyes at you. You giggle at Eddie and grab his face, pulling him closer to you and try to kiss his cheek the way he kissed yours but your movements are sloppy and you end up kissing the corner of his mouth instead which for some reason, makes you both laugh harder. Now he is certain that you are both drunk or high or both. 

“Here’s your order, kid.”

Steve tears his eyes away from you and Eddie. He reaches for his wallet and turns to look at the waitress, placing the bills on the table and giving her tight lipped smile before he grabs the bag and turns around to leave without looking at you again. 

He doesn’t see or feel your eyes on him. 

-

It’s the last game of the season and Steve’s last game, altogether. He can’t believe that this will be all over soon. High school, basketball practice, games, lunch breaks with his girlfriend, studying. 

He feels anxious about his future. He decided to take the year off after he will graduate. And hopefully, he will go to college with Nancy, next fall. Deep down he knows it won’t happen, he can’t see himself going to college, he barely made it through senior year. 

He doesn’t know what will happen to him and his relationship with her when she goes off to college next year. 

He tries not to think about it too much. He tries to enjoy his remaining days at school and his last game. He bounces on his feet as he watches the cheerleaders perform. You are in the front, as always. 

“One has to be a real fucking idiot to dump someone with that ass.” 

An instant rush of anger rippels through him. Billy’s voice will never not make his blood boil. 

Billy smirks as he watches you bend down, his eyes flicker over to Eddie who surprisingly came to the game, probably just to watch you dance in your tiny cheerleader uniform. 

“She wouldn’t even look at the freak after I’d fuck her dumb.”

“Shut up, Hargrove.” Steve mumbles under his breath. 

Billy chuckles, he steps up beside him, narrowing his eyes at Steve. 

“Her taste has changed a lot,” he says, smirking. “Did you know that she listens to heavy metal now?” 

Steve scrunches his face up. He hates heavy metal. 

“She supports Munson’s shitty band and goes to concerts with him. Do you think they fuck in his shitty van?” 

Steve opens his mouth but Billy cuts him off again. 

“I bet they do. I bet she’s a little freak, that’s why she’s with him now.” 

Steve clenches his jaw, his eyes find Eddie who stands in the crowd, grinning at you. 

“That’s why she never looked happy with you, you didn’t fuck her good enough. The freak seems to do it better.” 

Maybe he is right. Steve never took care of you the way you always took care of him. You always made sure that he felt good, he never did the same for you and he feels ashamed about it. 

“I could still fuck her better though.”

“Shut the fuck up, man. She is not interested in you, she never was,” Steve snaps at him, ignoring the prying eyes of the other guys from the basketball team. 

Steve had realized that you were never interested in him when it was far too late to apologize for accusing you of things you never did. You didn’t care about Billy or any other guy but he didn’t trust you back then even though you never gave him a reason not to. He always waited for you to give him one though, he waited for you to hurt him, he waited for you to cheat on him, he waited for you to leave him for someone else, he waited for you to fail. But you never did.

You loved him, only him. You wanted him. You were good and loyal, you were an amazing girlfriend and you never deserved the things he did to you. 

He is angry at himself for how he treated you. He hates himself for how much he hurt you. He hates how he didn’t protect you from Billy, he hates how angry he got after he had touched you after you had pushed him off once, already. 

“Are you sure about that?” Billy smirks, “then why did she let me fuc–”

Steve grabs him by the collars of his shirt, he slams him against the wall. Finally, he has had enough of him. 

“She never let you do anything, you piece of shit,” Steve says, angrily. “You touched her without her permission, you made shit up about her. We both know that she would never touch you.”

Billy laughs at his words but Steve can see the anger flashing in his eyes. 

“But she did, she’s a little sl–”

Before Billy can even react, Steve throws a punch, slamming his fist into his jaw. 

“Dude!” Tommy yells. 

Some of the guys around him gasp, the others laugh. 

Billy doesn’t take long to recover, he ducks when Steve tries to throw another punch and hits him in the stomach before he throws a punch at his face. Steve stumbles back and almost falls to the ground if it wasn’t for Chase steadying him. 

“Guys, this is not the right moment!” Jason yells, holding his hands up as he tries to get in between them, “we’re supposed to go out there and fight the other team, not each oth–”

“Shut the fuck up, Carver!” Billy yells, “I’m sick of your motivation speeches.”

Jason clenches his jaw and steps back. 

Steve wipes the blood from under his nose, he breathes heavily as he stares Billy down. The guys look between them as they slowly inch towards each other, everyone tenses up, looking around to see if anyone is willing to get in between them. 

“You really wanna do this, asshole?” Billy asks, licking his lips. 

“I should’ve done that a long time ago, Hargrove.”

“Seriously?” Jason exclaims, throwing his hands up. “The game is about to start!” 

Billy walks towards Steve, he is never one to back down from a fight. He had been waiting for a reason to beat the shit out of Steve but so did Steve. He should have kicked his ass a long time ago but he always directed his anger at you, instead of the guy that tried to come in between you and him – the guy who made you uncomfortable. 

Steve feels the need to make things right, he knows that this won’t fix anything. It won’t take back all his actions but he still wants to hurt him. 

The tension is high and both Steve and Billy are glaring at each other. The guys look between them, anxiously. The music inside the gym is still playing, the cheerleaders are still dancing, unaware to the little fight that broke out behind the doors. 

Before any of them can throw any more punches, the coach walks in, taking away the chance for a fight to break out again. 

Billy glares at Steve, he wipes his chin and turns away from him but the look in his eyes tells him that they aren’t done yet. 

Steve scoffs, he is not done with him either. He tears his eyes away from him. He clenches his jaw. He feels so angry. He notices the way the others sigh in relief, the way they instantly relax when Steve and Billy back away from each other. 

When it’s time to walk out into the gym, Steve is at the very front. He forces a smile onto his face and waves at the people on the bleachers, his eyes lock with Nancy’s, they smile at each other. She doesn’t notice how tense he is, she doesn’t even notice the remains of blood under his nose or how red his knuckles are, how angry he still looks but you notice it. 

He looks at you, your eyes lock and for the first time in a while, there is no emptiness in your eyes when you look at him. You continue to clap your hands, still gripping the pompons tightly. The smile on your face begins to fade the longer you look at him. He sees the way you eye him up and down, the way you look at his knuckles and his nose that is still bleeding. He sees the way your eyes move over to Billy before you look back at him. Your brows furrow, your eyes flash with confusion and concern. It doesn’t take you long to figure out what happened. 

He doesn’t want to look at you but he can’t seem to take his eyes off of you. For a moment, you stare at each other. 

It feels like forever but the moment only last for a few seconds. Though it doesn’t go unnoticed by a few other people. 

Chrissy nudges your shoulder and you finally tear your eyes away from him. He ignores the feeling in his chest, he ignores the ache when you look away and smile again. He looks at you for another long second before he turns away too and looks back at the girl he loves. 

He smiles at her, he is happy that she is here. 

He is happy. 

He is. 

next chapter

-

tagging friends & mutuals only!

@mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @corrodedseraphine @corrodedcorpses @take-everything-you-can @screammunson @hellfire--cult @taintedcigs @sherrylyn628 @xxhellfiregirlxx @nemesis729

[hollowingearth]

I'm sorry but the more I think about the Rebirth ending the more I love it actually like. The whole trilogy has been a meta commentary of sorts and, specially, Aerith's death is at the epicenter of it. She both dies and doesn't die exactly because us, as an audience, want both things to happen.

People have been clamoring to be able to save Aerith since 1997, there were fake hidden hacks, AU fictions, retellings, everything. Everyone has been at Squeenix's doorsteps begging them to let us save her. Like, it's at a point where the "Square will let us save Aerith if you pay for the DLC" joke is much more than a decade old.

On the other side, there's this very expressive unwant for any change whatsoever from the source material. It's not a feeling that is exclusive to FF7 either, there's this very clear pushback against any new remake/adaptation that deviates, even slightly, from it's original. People don't want new content, they want the old one they experienced when they were younger, but prettier, they want to both feel the nostalgia and experience everything as if for the first time again.

From that camp, I think the most prominent argument is that FF7 is about loss, right? And they're not wrong. Aerith's death is the crux of the story, it's the very thing that made FF7 as known as it is, there would be no actual weight to what it's trying to tell if the heroine doesn't die in the middle of it, an unexpected, hurtful, avoidable death. What's the point of a narrative about grief if you can just... avoid losing someone? Avoid having it be cruelly taken from you?

And yet, you see, if want someone to die, if you want something to be taken from you, are you really losing it? In the original, part of the impact was that no one could see it coming, it was a straight representation about how death is sudden and takes away opportunity from you. Aerith doesn't go into the sleeping forest willing to make a sacrifice for the greater good, she has barely started her adventure, she makes a promise to go on the highwind, the group is one location away from finding out more about her ancestry and her family.

That's not true for the remake, tho. Everyone knows about her fate, about what is going to happen to her. That's probably the most spoiled moment in video game history. I personally knew about her death before I truly understood what Final Fantasy even was. So now we have an audience that is extremely aware of what, when and how her death is going to happen. That's why the Confluence of Worlds is put at that moment, because it's the single most expected moment in the entire triology, it's the one moment that made the narrative resonate so well.

The impact is impossible to recreate now, even for newer fans of the series. People want a 1:1 retranslation but such a thing would always be a gimmicky shadow of it's original. It's why the focus shifts, now the most emotionally impactful scene is not the killing of her but of her goodbye, in the church after the dream date. "Thank you," Aerith echoes "It's been fun", a callback to her conclusion on Remake where she says "I'm grateful for all the words we shared. All the moments and the memories. You've made me more happy than you know."

So she dies and she doesn't, both at the same time. Effectively in limbo now, narratively explained by lifestream shenaningans. We put her there ourselves, by refusing to move on, refusing to accept her death but also refusing to change, allowing a different outcome. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, at least, Aerith's words sound like the very sincere feelings of the developers, who are grateful for all the love we all have powered into their work all these years.

I just love it so much, I could spend hours talking about it.

[nonamenonamenon]

It's a rainy day in the human world when Solomon attends your funeral. You're surrounded by the brothers, the angels, and the friends you made during your time in the Devildom.

It's a bit cliché, he thinks. How time seems to stop. How the skies seem to weep at your death, too. It feels as though all three realms mourn at the loss of such a special lifeー your life.

Though, who wouldn't?

You're surrounded by people you've saved. The people you cherish, and those that cherish you back. Those who've come to experience the kindness you lent to demons, angels, humans, reapers, and other creatures alike. The amount of people saddened, and standing at your casket right now is only proof of that fact.

Solomon can't bring himself to cry.

It's something that he should be used to by now. It's something that he's a little too used to, given his long life.

It's not as if he expected himself to wail and sob at your death. He loved you. He loved you so much. He'd be willing to risk everything for you. Willing to sacrifice it all for you.

It's why the lack of any real feeling at learning of your death hurts him so much.

When you had died, his first thought was to tell his dearest apprentice the news. The realization sets in, and he laughs, thinking about how idiotic he is. Oh, Solomon. You've lost the only person you were ever truly comfortable with.

He doesn't feel... sad. Or angry. Or anything, really. He feels empty. Like a part of his soul had been taken from him, and crushed beneath someone's heel.

The sorcerer merely accepts it. It's not as if he can bring you back to life now, can he? Even Thirteen couldn't do anything.

He feels powerless. He laughs a little to himself. The strongest sorcerer in all three realms, and he's utterly powerless to stop you from leaving him again.

He's got so many regrets. He didn't think he spent enough time with you. Didn't think he told you he loved you enough. He didn't cherish the times he had with you enough.

Still, he doesn't feel anything well up in his eyes. He doesn't feel the lump in his throat when he speaks. He's composed, cordial with the other guests at your funeral, even daring to greet them with a smile. The others, who didn't know him so well, sent him dirty, disgusted looks.

He ignores, and ignores, until the funeral comes to an end, and time continues to move again. Everyone will soon move on with their life, forgetting about you. And it breaks him to think about how he'll have to keep moving forward, regardless, too.

Solomon doesn't use teleportation when he walks home. He thinks he'll take his time today. He... wants to take things a little slow, today.

Walking home, he remembers your little lectures on human superstitions. Both of you had taken an interest in them back then, so it naturally came up in a conversation while walking home.

He remembers you mentioning one in particular. It was something related to stopping somewhere after a funeral, to 'shake off' any spirits that may have followed.

He can't remember. It felt like he was just walking home, conversing with you, but how come he's unable to remember?

Anyway, you told him, jokingly, that if you'd ever died, to go somewhere else before stopping home, or else you'd haunt him for life.

He thinks it wouldn't be such a bad idea. His pace speeds up a bit. Solomon wanted to take it slow, but... he wants to rest at home for a bit.

His brisk walking pace evolves into somewhat of a light jog. He remembers he left some important papers at home that he needed to review for a new spell.

His light jog turns into a full blown sprint home. What was he hoping for, exactly? That you'd appear there as an apparition, welcoming him back home, like normal?

What a joke.

It's just some dumb superstition. It's not real. You won't be back.

He arrives at the door of your shared home. He's scared. Scared to open the door and have it fully set in that you're gone. Scared, that your lack of presence there will turn your shared home into just a mere house.

He fiddles with the key in his hand, and inserts it into the doorknob. He twists, and he hears a click.

He opens the door. The lights are shut. The movies you were supposed to watch and games you were supposed to play together are still stacked messily on the table. Your dirty clothes are still strewn about the apartment.

He doesn't... know how to feel. He enters, closing the door behind him, and sits on the couch in your living room.

If he waits any longer, will the lights start blinking?

Will the tap suddenly start running?

Will the room get colder, as he feels chills run down his spine?

Will something break, so suddenly, that it frightens him a little?

He wishes for something, anything, to happen. Just so he can feel your presence in your home again. Just so it doesn't feel like you're truly gone.

But nothing ever arrives.

The floorboards don't creak. The lights don't start flickering. The door doesn't move, suddenly. Nothing. Nothing happens.

After an hour of waiting, Solomon... breaks.

He breaks.

Tears well up in his eyes, and he feels that unfamiliar lump in his throat. It's as if a dam had fractured, and had been continuously breaking throughout the day.

And everything had started spilling out.

He cries. Solomon cries. He feels his tears drip down his face, drop after drop. It's not something he's used to. He's not used to feeling so strongly about a death like yours.

You passed of natural causes. Just like everybody else. Just like his family. Just like most of his friends.

How come... how come he's crying so hard at your death, then?

It's something he should be used to by now. It's something that he's used to.

However, when he feels the lack of warmth, the lack of life, the lack of you in your shared home...

Solomon realizes that he'll never get used to not having you with him.

[en-stbc]

i've seen enough people crying over this uzi sacrifice scene in ep7 but i don't think enough people actually analyzes esp uzi and N's character (atleast from what i've seen??) and my god i need to rant because this scene the more i watch it the more it ABSOLUTELY destroys me (save me nuzi save me...)

messy rant incoming...

alright, quick recap of the characters so i can later explain my points better

pilot uzi had no one to rely on, treated as a freak by her community, neglected by her father and overall completely isolated with the world. She had no one but herself, that's why she never allows herself to show any vulnerabilities so people won't take advantage of her and literally dismisses her own feelings and coping mechanisms as "angsty hormonal teen feelings" and developed a inferiority complex of wanting to prove herself and be recognized. Meeting N was more than just a change of trajectory in her life, he helped her in so, SO many ways from making her realize that her feelings are validated and it's okay to lean on others when you need it the most, to be vulnerable- something that she desperately needed but was never provided- to helping her just.. overall improve herself and promise that he'll always be there when she needs him the most. N is so integral in uzi's life, all she needed was someone to understand her, and there he was.

meanwhile N is always treated as a worthless nobody by people around him which is very evident in the pilot with his interactions between J and V. He clearly has issues when it comes to his own self worth and completely robbed of autonomy. All he ever wanted was to be useful and seen by others, which leads to him going along with other's insane crazy ideas without questioning morals and rights or wrongs. Uzi was the one that helped him find a ground he can stand on and finally being able to defend himself and what he thinks is worth protecting, as well as being a genuine friend he can finally talk and bond with after being ignored for so long.

and back to the scene. The reason why this scene hurts so much for me is that uzi finally found someone so important to her that she's willing to sacrifice herself and thanked N for "everything" he's ever done. He gave her everything that she could possibly ask for, she was content. Uzi even used her solver powers to push N away to make sure he wasn't in danger or an attempt to save her. The fact that she even thanked N, making it sounds like her final words to him implies that she was okay with dying and giving up her own life just really says how much N meant to her. She couldn't have done all of this without meeting him, to be selfless and sacrifice yourself for someone you truly love.

for N he's probably absolutely devastated, especially after V's sacrifice the ep before. Both of his closest friends sacrificed also for the sake of saving him, he literally could not do anything but watch them disappear in front of him. He'd probably blame himself so much for failing to save them and the fact that he has self harm tendencies every time he makes a mistake... N is definitely VERY TRAUMATIZED from this and also needs time to heal as well.

overall im very normal about nuzi these 2 will be the death of me i love them so much. both of them meeting each other was the best thing that ever happened to them and watching them grow and develop is so 😭😭😭

have a good day thank you so much for reading this very messy rant and bare with my very limited vocabulary if you did... ;3

[rentumblsstuff]

Really though, Lautski hadn’t even gone in an official date. They JUST had an argument about how the other won’t admit they have feelings for eachother. But to be outed by GODS and be told “not only are they in love with you, but you’re the thing they cherish most in the entire world, and if you don’t want them to die, you have to die for them…”

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THAT INFORMATION ONCE EVERYTHING IS OKAY?

To know that you were willing to die for someone you’ve only been friends with for less than a month and had never even gone on a date with. To know that you and this person cherish eachother more than anything else in the world… And it’s been three weeks since you’ve officially met. How do you cope with this person becoming so integral to your life in such a short amount of time and not seriously reevaluate EVERYTHING ABOUT EACHOTHER AND YOURSELVES? How do you not think “How is this person is so great and my life so shitty that I am willing to DIE FOR THEM within WEEKS OF OFFICIALLY MEETING?”

Steph and Pete are both so young yet it’s so obvious they’re going to spend the rest of their lives together. Is that terrifying to them? Is it relieving? Do they ever worry that because they became so important to eachother so quickly, that same fire could die out just as fast? What if someone EVEN BETTER comes along and steals them in an instant, because “if I was literally the most important thing in the world within a month, how quickly can they leave me for someone better? How soon will they cherish something else?”

To have GODS definitively tell you that you and the person of your affections are so madly in love that the separation of your love is enough of a sacrifice to save the world… How do you look that person in the face? Without feeling terrified of how well they must know you? Or worse, without feeling terrified of how LITTLE they might know you? Because if THIS is the person you cherish most, and they don’t know all that much about you, how absolutely fucking terrible must every other relationship in your life be???

Peter and Stephanie are two people that are terrified of being seen and known for various reasons. The fact that the other loves them more than their own life… That has got to be the most overwhelming feeling in the universe to them. Even if it’s a good overwhelming, that is still A LOT. And on top of that, they’ve gone through something ONLY THE OTHER PERSON CAN UNDERSTAND (even Grace wouldn’t understand- she wouldn’t have had to take a life for her sacrifice). Theyre the only people that could ever understand eachother at this point. Even if they’re ecstatic they’ve survived and that they’ve finally ended up together, how do they process what they’ve gone through? How do they dance together at homecoming like they’re teens in love and not children that gods have basically dubbed intertwined with eachother for life.

I just have so many thoughts and feelings about NPMD like to the point where I have literally become nauseous listening to the CAITIA Reprise-

[oshiawaseni]

The biggest obstacle when it comes to saving Shigaraki’s heart is Decay: If he so much as grabs someone’s hand… they’ll die. Which is a huge deal in a series that places so much emphasis on the act of a Hero holding a lost child's hand to reassure them that everything will be okay.

Shigaraki struggles with connecting to people because he’s never been able to perform even the most rudimentary of expressions for actually *connecting with other people* (such as a handshake)… it's a concept which has been shown to us time and time again in MHA. And if you are a subscriber of "AFO having given decay to Tenko" theory... this is probably the main reason as for why he gave him such a treacherous quirk that would never allow him to connect to another person.

No one has even hugged him since his mother died trying to… and she was his only family who cast aside her safety to give the love, comfort and reassurance that 5 year old Tenko needed back then.

So I think what's to come for Shigaraki is going to be about connecting with him in the way that’s been (impossible).

My theory is that Izuku could have a moment of reaching out to Shigaraki, just as Sailor Moon reached out with a hand for Sailor Galaxia to take… and in doing so, show Tomura his pure intentions to save him. I think this could be a main feature of the Izuku Midoriya Rising chapter!

This parallel works *really* well if Shigaraki is possessed by AFO at the time. The MC’s words and selflessness helping their enemy tap into the love which lives deep inside them. In Sailor Moon this dispersed the chaos in Galaxia… and in MHA it may tame AFO’s kosei/personality.

The full theory with videos can be read here!

When 407 came out, a LOT of us thought Izuku’s hand stood NO chance… even I was concerned! But I think this was actually foreshadowing a future chapter where Izuku reaches out to Shigaraki, knowing he’s risking everything to try reach into his humanity.

There’s also Yoichi’s words: “So why did you reach out to me that day, knowing full well of my ties to your enemy?” …Hori’s been cooking this theme of reaching a hand out to save those in need, no matter who they are. That everyone is a person with a human heart inside them.

So I think Shigaraki will reach out to grab onto Izuku’s outstretched hand, in a Sailor Moon-inspired moment of Tomura finally embracing the love in his heart… and this will free him of all his life’s built up pain.

One thing MHA teaches well is that pure love and compassion towards others, and the self-sacrifices made to help one’s community are the key to controlling one’s quirk. It’s the best expression of individuality in MHA. Kacchan had full mastery over his quirk by embracing love.

I think it’s enough for Shigaraki that Izuku is even *willing* to be decayed to reach into his humanity and show the compassion his mother once gave him when everything was falling apart around him. Izuku may even remind Shigaraki of Inko’s motherly warmth from the memories.

So Shigaraki will be able to control his quirk because his heart is cleansed, leaving only pure love inside. And so he won’t let Decay hurt Izuku when he grabs Izuku’s hand. Shigaraki’s soul could be truly saved by physically connecting to Izuku’s immense heart and kindness for others. No matter when or how it’s done, a handhold scene like this would be so beautiful!

MHA’s society may be incredibly broken and wrong… but the one right thing in the world is the connection between everyone’s hearts, all striving for a better future together. Their belief in hope and each other.

At the very end of her fight, Sailor Moon says that chaos "had gone into the hearts of everyone.” Because if everyone shares a little of the burden, it won’t all fall on one person’s shoulders. But, “It’s alright! The light of hope exists in their hearts also.” ✨❤️✨

[gffa]

What are the attachment rules in the High Republic Jedi are like?

The High Republic Jedi and the prequels Jedi are pretty much exactly the same on this front--attachment is specifically the fear that keeps you holding onto something/someone to possess it/them because you're afraid to live without them, that you would sacrifice a thousand lives to save just the one because your fear is greater than your compassion. Because the Force works based on your emotions--what you put into it is what you get out of it--you cannot connect to the Force through fear and anger (ie, attachment, as more closely aligned with the Buddhist definition, because Jedi are strongly influenced by Buddhism more than anything else), because that's a path to the dark side. GEORGE LUCAS & ATTACHMENT:

“[Jedi Knights] do not grow attachments, because attachment is a path to the dark side. You can love people, but you can’t want to possess them. They’re not yours. Accept that they have a fate. Even those you love most are going to die. You can’t do anything about that. Protect them with your lightsaber, but if they die they were going to die. there’s nothing you can do. All you can do is accept that fact.     “In mythology, if you go to Hades to get them back you’re not doing it for them, you’re doing it for yourself. You’re doing it because you don’t want to give them up. You’re afraid to be without them. The key to the dark side is fear. You must be clean of fear, and fear of loss is the greatest fear. If you’re set up for fear of loss, you will do anything to keep that loss from happening, and you’re going to end up in the dark side. That’s the basic premise of Star Wars and the Jedi, and how it works.     “That’s why they’re taken at a young age to be trained. They cannot get themselves killed trying to save their best buddy when it’s a hopeless exercise.” --George Lucas, The Star Wars Archives: 1999-2005

 “In this film, (The Phantom Menace) you begin to see that he has a fear of losing things, a fear of losing his mother, and as a result, he wants to begin to control things, he wants to become powerful, and these are not Jedi traits. And part of these are because he was starting to be trained so late in life, that he’d already formed these attachments. And for a Jedi, attachment is forbidden.” --George Lucas to CNN, May 8, 2002

    “The fact that everything must change and that things come and go through his life and that he can’t hold onto things, which is a basic Jedi philosophy that he isn’t willing to accept emotionally and the reason that is because he was raised by his mother rather than the Jedi. If he’d have been taken in his first year and started to study to be a Jedi, he wouldn’t have this particular connection as strong as it is and he’d have been trained to love people but not to become attached to them.

    “But he has become attached to his mother and he will become attached to Padme and these things are, for a Jedi, who needs to have a clear mind and not be influenced by threats to their attachments, a dangerous situation. And it feeds into fear of losing things, which feeds into greed, wanting to keep things, wanting to keep his possessions and things that he should be letting go of. His fear of losing her turns to anger at losing her, which ultimately turns to revenge in wiping out the village. The scene with the Tusken Raiders is the first scene that ultimately takes him on the road to the dark side. I mean he’s been prepping for this, but that’s the one where he’s sort of doing something that is completely inappropriate.“ --George Lucas, Attack of the Clones commentary

PREQUELS JEDI & ATTACHMENT:

THE HIGH REPUBLIC JEDI & ATTACHMENT:

     "I'm like...just a big huge ball of attachments!" she moaned. "I'm attached to being alive! And to my friends being alive, too! And to Master Sy! Every day I go somewhere new in this galaxy and feel attached to it, meet more wonderful people that I don't want to be hurt or killed! The attachments just keep coming! If I live to grow old, I'll have thousands and thousands of them! I'm even attached to the Star Hopper, and that's just a silly ship! Ugh!" [....]      “Let me ask you this: If saving Master Sy or Zeen meant that you’d never see them again but you’d have the knowledge that they’d be safe, would you still do it?” [....]      “I would.”      “Then you are saving them for them, Padawan, not for yourself.  It is not attachment.” --Vernestra Rwoh and Lula Talisola, [Star Wars: Race to Crashpoint Tower]

     But Jedi weren't supposed to have attachments, even to the past, even to a simpler, safer life. If this was the time she'd been born into, she would face it with everything she had. It was the only choice. --Lula Talisola, Race to Crashpoint Tower

     Lula knew she wasn't supposed to form attachments, and she understood why—she could feel it jangling up her flow, twisting her connection to the Force into unintelligible knots. But what else was she supposed to do? She cared about her friends and didn't want them to get hurt. --Lula Talisola, [Star Wars: Race to Crashpoint Tower]

      [Ram had] been in his first real fight! He'd lived! And so had everyone else! Which was a huge relief, really. The idea of taking a life, even in battle, was almost as scary to him as the thought of losing his own. He hoped he'd never have to do it, and then, as he'd been trained to do, he did his best to release any attachment to outcomes and just exist in the gigantic spinning galaxy. --Ram Jomaram [Star Wars: Race to Crashpoint Tower]

     How many times had Lula ignited her saber to save her own life or those of her loved ones in just the past few months? She'd lost track.      But Jedi weren't supposed to have attachments, even to the past, even to a simpler, safer life. If this was the time she'd been born into, she would face it with everything she had. It was the only choice. --Lula Talisola [Star Wars: Race to Crashpoint Tower]

  “So, the Jedi are Force users united in our quest to understand the mysteries of the Force and to serve as guardians of peace and justice throughout the galaxy. [....] we ground ourselves in a spiritual existence and give up individual attachments in order to focus entirely on greater concerns." --Reath Silas [Star Wars: The High Republic: Into the Dark]

All of this forms a consistent definition and pattern and set of rules--the prequels Jedi and the High Republic Jedi both are more along the lines of attachment in the Buddhist sense and it's dangerous because of how the Force works, because as the Jedi define it, it's inseparable from anger and fear. Of course there's room for Jedi to question how they approach those same rules and what it means to them individually, just as Lula questions it, so does Ahsoka, and this is shown to be a natural part of the process of learning to be a Jedi, but ultimately both the prequels and the High Republic have the same rule for the same reason--attachment is forbidden because the worldbuilding says it's a path to the dark side and the dark side will fuck you up.

[geekgirles]

Julith, Bakara, and Amalia: History Repeats

If you think about it, Amalia's arc in the webtoon is eerily similar to both Julith and Bakara's roles in Dofus Book 1: Julith.

Like Bakara, she holds a very deep and personal grudge against her sister-in-law partly because of the role she played in her brother's death; that is to say, Aurora and her family's inaction during the Necro War factored in Armand having to sacrifice himself in order to protect the Sadida Kingdom. Meanwhile, Bakara blamed Jahash's death solely on Julith because she was raised to believe she had caused everything in the first place.

Which made both young women see Aurora and Julith, respectively, as nothing but traitors. Because even if Amalia never outright calls the Osamodas as such, it is made pretty clear throughout several points in the story that's what she really thinks of them, as she repeatedly pointed out their abandonment of the Sadida at the Necros' hands.

It's also worth pointing out that what sets Amalia apart from Bakara is the fact that the former has a legitimate and justified grievance against Aurora and her family, unlike Bakara's grudge against Julith, that turned out to be nothing but a ploy orchestrated by a third party. Because, even though the Osamodas weren't responsible for directly harming Yugo, they did betray the Sheran Sharms and their kingdom by going against their word and not sending help while Aurora actually fled from the fight, whereas Julith never betrayed Jahash and was even trying to save Bonta before she was attacked.

And, on the other hand, like Julith, now that she's lost so much (her father, her brother, part of their forests, so many innocent lives at the hands of the Necros...), there is nothing Amalia isn't willing to do for the sake of what she holds dear—her kingdom and Yugo. Just like Julith abandoned all morals in order to reunite with Jahash and try to rebuild their lives with their son, which led to her abandoning all qualms about making others suffer after what she herself went through.

And it's precisely the possibility of losing Yugo and her people at the hands of someone she knows doesn't care about them, and whom she thinks are capable of anything to achieve their goals, that causes Amalia to lash out and brutally attack the Osamodas in retaliation for their perceived involvement in her husband's poisoning, not unlike how Julith forewent all empathy after losing Jahash, perfectly willing to sacrifice hundreds of lives for his own.

In a way, what all three women have in common is that their most morally questionable actions are a direct result of being hurt and betrayed in the past, and the deep love they feel for someone and/or something propelling them to take those actions in the first place.

I guess this all comes to show that Julith's involvement in the webtoon makes more sense than I originally thought, at least, if they intend to prove me right and draw more parallels between her and Amalia in the future. But more importantly, it shows how love and hate are extremely volatile emotions, two sides of the same coin that can lead to terrible consequences.

(Credit to @cocogum for their screenshots of the webtoon).

[deramin2]

(Spoilers for Critical Role Campaign 1)

I don't have any expectations for wherever FCG will stay dead or come back somehow because I've spent 9 years watching Sam Riegel totally subvert my expectations in a narratively compelling way.

But I will say that "FCG shouldn't come back because it would lessen the impact of a narratively perfect death" is EXACTLY what people were saying about Percy's first death after C1 E68. (The first televised character death.) If he had to have an end, it was a fitting end that, while tragic, neatly tied up the thesis of the story. Would Taliesin even want him to come back? With Whitestone saved and Ripply killed, was there even much left to explore?

They found Percy's death letter telling them he loved them all but please bury him in a ditch with all his designs so he could be forgotten by history. He was so sorry for all he'd done and he could never make it up.

But they tried anyway, having to wrest Percy's soul away from Orthax. The players knew what they said in the resurrection ritual was meaningful along with their rolls. But they did not know they were also having to convince Taliesin. If they'd tried to appeal to Percy's soul in the wrong way, dice be damned, Percy was going to refuse. What we got was really meaningful and powerful roleplay (especially from Marisha and Laura) that did convince Percy along with successful rolls.

Being brought back did not at all weaken Percy's own sacrifice or the impact of his death. It forced him to confront everything he'd been running from. It forced him to see that there were people who loved him and would not let him throw himself away for them. They didn't want a martyr, they wanted their friend. It utterly changed the trajectory of his character.

There's only four ways I can think of on the table to bring FCG back:

True Resurrection — Incredibly expensive high level spell. They would have to find the materials as well as someone who both can and is willing to cast the spell in the middle of a war to stop a second Calamity. None of this would be easy. The ritual could still fail. FCG could decline to come back and the other players would not know that until they went to all the effort. The Raven Queen views True Resurrection as heresy which is why they didn't try it on Vax. How would a second chance change them?

Reincarnate — Lower level and cheaper spell. FCG would come back as a fleshy being instead of an Aeormaton. Would the experience live up to FCG's fantasies about it? How would it change them to realize they are truely alive, and always were, but are now also mortal? Reverse Veth story? Wild ass Pinocchio retelling? What does it mean to get a second chance but everything about you is different?

Wish — I think this would count as duplicating True Resurrection. High component cost and requires a high level magic user. (If it's duplicating a spiral there's no risk of no longer being able to cast Wish.)

Hag Deal — They do know a fatestitcher Hag who likes them and limes making deals even more. Orym may be able to just extend his existing deal. What are the consequences for the deal marker as well as FCG? Would the robit feel responsible for that person's fate? How would that affect how they feel about coming back and the meaning they need to make from it.

I don't think there's a right or best option because whatever we speculate on, the actual result will be full of meaning and very poignant. I can't imagine that Bell's Hells won't try to bring him back. They've lost so much already. They couldn't bring back Eshteross or Bertrand or Will & Derrig. They couldn't live with not even trying. Maybe their method works, maybe it doesn't. But at least they tried.

And if FCG does come back, they have to live with knowing that even though they saved their friends and put an end to Otohan, they also hurt their friends by treating themselves as disposable. They forced their friends to confront that each of them might have done the same and that's deeply unhealthy. It will change the character development tremendously.

My favorite film and play genre is where the protagonist dies (or nearly dies) (usually self-inflicted) at the beginning and has to journey through purgatory to find themselves again before they can return to the living. Films like Wristcutters: A Love Story (2006) or Castaway on the Moon (김씨 표류기 2009). Death matters because it reminds you to live. The journey is finding meaning in both life and death and coming back utterly changed.