#love when the tags are more than twice as long as the actual post lol

[sudoscience]

I got about 1.5 more hours of sleep last night than the night before, so why am I more tired today than I was yesterday?

[undressrehearsal]

a bite of luxury

summary: you decide to look for a sugar mommy and stumble across this strange girl that seems to have more to hide

tags: sugarmommy!ellie, rich!ellie, vampire!ellie (yep, we got it all) alcohol, reader is poor lmao, reader uses she/her and is referred to as a girl once or twice, no smut in this one sorry gotta establish the world first

word count: ~8k

a/n: it's been so long since i posted a fic lol working full time and trying to finish my book is killing my schedule BUT i hope y'all like this this was my fiancee's idea and i'm running with it i got a LOT of plans for this one - plans i think y'all are gonna love

also the drawing in the cover is made by @nramv seriously go check out their work they're so talented!!

if you wanna be added to my tag list just lmk!

You hadn’t been searching for a sugar mommy. 

Truthfully, when your best friend had sent you the link, you had dismissed it immediately. She had been joking about it for months, talking about how much easier it would be if you just found a nice older woman to take care of you. You hadn’t even opened the link - you only rolled your eyes, replied with a middle finger emoji, and left it at that. 

And yet things kept piling up. The stack of bills on your kitchen counter was growing to a concerning height, a mountain of unanswered responsibilities that was getting harder to ignore. Your landlord kept calling you - you no longer answered, just watched the phone ring until it finally stopped and ignored the increasingly angrier voicemails. Your apartment was an absolute disaster; you could never be bothered to clean it, because by the time you got home from working both of your jobs, you only had enough energy to eat a bowl of leftovers and promptly pass out in bed. 

The link kept popping up in your mind, each bill in your mailbox a gentle reminder. You found yourself scrolling all the way up the text chain to find it again during sleepless nights. So many times you would only stare at it, your thumb hovering over the blue letters, before you closed the chat and threw your phone down. 

It was stupid, of course. But as time went on, the idea of letting yourself get buried alive under a mountain of debt - of getting evicted from your apartment and having to crash on your friend’s couch - seemed all the more stupid. 

So, late on a Thursday night, after you had had another anxiety attack staring down at your bank account, you went back up the text chain, and you clicked the link. 

www.seeking.com

It didn't take long for the messages to start coming in. You should have been flattered, honestly - you had at least a handful of people in your messages practically begging you for the honor of paying your fucking rent - but you really just felt like you were playing a part that you hadn't even read the script for. You had curated your profile with all the things that made you appear more cultured than you actually were: going to museums and pondering over Baroque art and reading poetry over a pretentious cup of coffee. Sure, these were all things you had done - you had photo proof, after all - but somehow you didn't recognize yourself. It felt like you were looking at pictures of a stranger living a life you wanted but couldn't reach. 

Most people were fine - charming, even. You got maybe one or two that felt like they would lure you into their sex dungeon to murder you, but that was expected with any dating site. You even went on a few dates, scrounging up the nicest dress you owned and getting pampered at a five-star restaurant or going for a ride on an older woman’s personal yacht. One person even took you for a helicopter ride, which was fun but she was a little too handsy on the first date to warrant a second. 

One name kept popping up though, a name that was becoming far too familiar in your notifications. 

ellie: meet me at 8 <3 

When she first messaged you, you had thought she was like you: somebody searching for a partner to pay their bills. Her pictures didn't exactly scream sugar mommy material. Her first picture was just a normal selfie taken outside; she wore a worn out leather jacket, her short hair tangled from the wind and green eyes squinting in the sunlight. She had stupid pictures of mushrooms and candid shots of her browsing a science museum, looking far too excited in front of a t-rex skeleton. Hell, in most of her pictures she looked like she was wearing clothes she had found at a thrift store.

You had thought she was like you, until she sent you a picture inside her fucking Rolls-Royce. 

“Fuck,” you audibly cursed into the quiet of your room. You had been talking for a few days, and she had begun to do that - sending you small selfies throughout the day. In the last one, she had taken a picture in front of the mirror at the gym, flicking off the camera, her lean muscles glistening with sweat. Before that, it had been a blurry picture of her dog, Riley - a huge German Shephard - splayed on her back at a park, leaves stuck in her fur. 

So, yeah, when you found out Ellie was not only rich, but rich enough to casually have a Royce, you were more than a little surprised. 

The selfie was cute, you couldn’t deny that. Her hair was wind-swept, catching in those long ass eyelashes. Ellie’s nose was scrunched up, freckles popping against her cheeks, holding up a peace sign. 

She was fucking adorable and you already knew it. But seeing her worn out leather jacket and messy hair against black and white leather seats that looked like they, alone, cost more than your entire apartment complex combined - it was a little jarring. 

And when she asked you out on a date soon after - after finding out she wasn’t Iike you but rather searching for someone like you - how could you say no? 

Ellie offered to pick you up - like a gentleman, she had said - but frankly, you weren’t quite convinced yet that she wasn’t some blood-thirsty pervert trying to lure you into her dungeon, so you politely declined. Instead, in your nicest dress and heels you hardly wore because they pinched your toes, you called an Uber. 

You had never been to this side of town. You had plugged in the address Ellie gave you - had double and triple checked it while your awkwardly chatty Uber driver tried asking you about what you do for a living - but the streets here were so unfamiliar you may as well have been in another city. You looked at the foreign buildings rising up around you, large windows giving you a glimpse of the life inside them. People were sitting outside in the chilly air, laughing over wine and dinner. Looking at them - with perfectly sculpted hair and clothes you would have to spend several entire paychecks on - you felt like a cheap impersonator dressed up in a costume. 

The Uber pulled up in front of a hotel, and your heart stopped. Surely, this wasn’t where Ellie had sent you - leading you to some fucking hotel room when you hadn’t even met yet? 

You turned to the driver, your home address at the edge of your tongue, when the car door opened. 

You had practically been leaning against the door to peer out the window, and nearly lost your balance when it was suddenly gone without warning. You looked up, ready to yell at whatever pretentious prick in Prada was trying to fuck with you - but your voice died in your throat. 

Ellie was shorter than you thought she'd be, honestly. In all her pictures, she had this commanding energy, like she would tower over you in person. 

Which, to be fair, she was. She had her arm propped on the doorframe above your head, leaning over so she could meet your eyes. Her hair was pushed back from her face, a few stray strands falling over her forehead, and she was looking at you with an intensity that hadn't quite translated through her pictures.

Ellie smiled - that adorably crooked smile you had seen in all her selfies - and said, “Hi.” 

And the only word you were able to get your mouth to form was, “Fuck.” 

Ellie blinked at you for a moment - long enough that you could feel the flush creeping up your neck and were ready to walk home if you had to - before she finally laughed. That wasn’t like what you had expected either; she had this deep, rough laugh, almost like she was trying to hold it in. 

She looked up at you through her lashes - you tried to ignore the way your heart inexplicably skipped - and said, “I’ll take that as a compliment?” Her voice tilted up at the end like it was a question. Ellie ducked her head down further, looking past you to meet the driver’s eyes, and pulled cash from her back pocket. With her most charming smile, she handed it to the driver and said, “Thanks for getting her here safe.” 

You didn’t see how much money she gave him, but after she took your hand and guided you out of the car, you turned back just in time to see his grin before he sped off. 

“Thanks for coming out.” You looked back at Ellie and found yourself speechless once again. (You, thankfully, were able to hold in the expletive this time.) The worn out jacket that had featured in just about all of her pictures was missing, replaced instead by a pristine, white satin shirt, the top few buttons undone to expose a sliver of collarbone and a gold chain beneath. Despite the chill in the air, she had a classy black jacket hanging from her arm as though it were an accessory. Ellie smiled and looked down, licking her lips before saying, “You’re quite the sight for sore eyes.”

You tried to smile at her but found that your eyes kept flitting behind her, looking at the looming monstrosity of the hotel. It was a nice hotel - the kind that had a huge fountain right in front of it and a chandelier in the lobby that sparkled through the window - but it was a hotel nonetheless. Despite the set in your jaw, traitorous tears stung the corners of your eyes; you wanted to kick yourself for actually thinking that Ellie might be different. 

Ellie followed your gaze over her shoulder, her smile dropping, before she quickly turned back to you with panic in her eyes. She stumbled over her words as though her tongue weren’t cooperating: “Shit, I’m sorry, this looks really bad doesn't it?” She grimaced and squeezed your hand she was still holding, scratching awkwardly at the back of her head with the other. “Fuck, this isn’t the first impression I wanted. I could promise it's not what it looks like, but maybe it'd be better if I just showed you?”

You honestly did think about telling her to fuck off. She was a complete fucking stranger that you only really knew from a dating app, and she was trying to lure you into a hotel in a part of town you were unfamiliar with - really, only an idiot would follow her. 

But she was looking at you with wide green eyes, the lights around you shining back like stars. While searching for the constellations, you found yourself saying, “Okay.” You blinked, pulled from a trance, and added, “But you should know, I do have a taser in my bag.” 

That pulled a shocked laugh from Ellie’s lips. She gently tugged on your hand, pulling you towards the door, and said, “Smart girl.” 

You knew that the hotel was outside of your price range because a perfectly groomed doorman opened the door for you, waving you inside with a gloved hand. You didn’t take much time to process the interior - the chandelier was just as grand as it had seemed from outside and elaborate columns rose to the ceiling - because Elllie was pulling you towards the elevators. It was like she wanted to ignore the fact that she had brought you to a hotel at all. You couldn’t decide if that was reassuring. 

In the empty elevator, you gently drew your hand back and leaned against the wall opposite her. You tried to ignore looking at the way her pinstripe slacks hugged the curves of her thighs, the fabric straining when she propped one booted foot on the wall behind her. 

“So,” you started in a desperate attempt to fill the awkward silence, “if you’re not leading me into a seedy hotel room on the first date, then what are we doing?” 

“Okay, one,” Ellie said, chuckling, “this is anything but a seedy hotel. And two, what kind of a date would it be if I ruined the surprise?” 

“And what if I don’t like surprises?” you countered. 

Ellie grinned. “I think you’ll like this one.” 

When the elevator doors opened, Ellie held her hand out to you as though it were a question. You hesitated for only a moment before placing your hand back in hers and letting her lead you out into open air. 

You nearly choked on a gasp. 

The bar itself was beautiful - fairy lights stretched above your head, twinkling like stars and casting the rooftop in a warm glow. Wooden tables and plush couches were spread artfully around the space, far enough apart to provide the patrons scattered about with some privacy. 

The bar was beautiful - but the view was fucking breathtaking. 

The city stretched out beyond the railings, open in a way you had never seen before. The skyline rose around you, each building shining like its own little galaxy amidst a sea of stars. The city lights blocked out the actual stars - a fact that never failed to piss you off - but you could see the crescent of the moon rising over the city, casting a quiet glow like a veil. 

You looked back at Ellie, and whatever your face held made her grin. She leaned in just enough so that her murmur was for your ears only: “So, was I right?” 

You blinked, momentarily distracted by her proximity - she smelled intoxicating, spicy and warm with a hint of tobacco beneath - before you finally said, “What?” 

Ellie snorted, breaking whatever spell she had put you under. “The surprise,” she said, leaning away enough for your head to clear. “Was I right?” 

You bit the inside of your cheek, pursing your lips as though you had to think about it. You couldn’t take your eyes away from the skyline stretched before you. 

You finally said, “That depends on how good the drinks are.” 

When Ellie laughed, her eyes crinkled in the corners, her nose scrunching. It was a full, rich sound, hanging in the air above your head like helium. It made something in your chest tighten, and you wanted nothing more than to hear it again. 

She squeezed your hand, a twinkle in her eye, and said, “The old-fashioned's to die for.” 

You pursed your lips again to hide your smile.

Ellie didn’t bother checking in with the host, simply shot her a smile and a wave as you walked by - you tried to bite back a giggle when you saw the host’s face turn red, her eyes tracking Ellie as she led you to a table right along the edge of the railing. She pulled the chair out for you - “Such a gentleman,” you laughed - before taking the seat opposite you.

As she waved over a waiter, you took a moment to lean your head over the railing. It was made entirely of glass, giving you a clear view of the city below. You could hear the distant sound of traffic, cars racing below you like shiny beetles, but it was like it was coming from a different world altogether. Everything seemed impossibly, wonderfully small from up here. 

You looked up at the sound of your name to find a groomed waiter wearing a fucking waistcoat standing before you. Ellie was looking at you with laughter in her eyes, her lips twitching. 

“Shit, sorry,” you said, immediately flinching at your own curse. You suddenly couldn’t remember the proper etiquette in a fancy bar, feeling out of place and underdressed even in your nicest outfit. You looked between Ellie and the waiter, wracking your brain for any kind of drink that wasn’t a trashy cocktail you’d find at a dive bar. 

Seeing you floundering, Ellie gave you a reassuring smile and said, “Do you like wine?” 

Relief washed over you as you nodded. Turning back to the waiter, Ellie ordered something that you couldn’t even hope to pronounce, charm lifting the corner of her mouth. She spoke to the waiter with the steady ease of familiarity, laughing at some inside joke; you briefly wondered just how often Ellie came to this bar. Surely, a nice place like this - at the very precipice of the world, looking down at the stars - wouldn’t be a regular stop on anyone’s schedule, but Ellie and the staff spoke like old friends. 

When the waiter left, tussling Ellie’s hair playfully, she turned back to you and the awkwardness of a first date finally set in. Sure, you had been texting Ellie every day for a week now, but you still hardly knew the girl. You knew she liked mushrooms and hiking. You knew that most of her clothes were from the thrift store even though she could afford any designer brand she wanted. You knew her favorite video game was Dishonored. But nothing you knew was enough for a relationship. 

But you weren't exactly looking for love, were you? 

After a moment of silence, Ellie cleared her throat, looking out over the city. “It's nice out here.” 

You snorted before you could stop yourself, covering your mouth; it didn't cover the laughter in your eyes. You said, “You're really talking to me about the weather?”

Ellie opened her mouth, an indignant sparkle to her eye, before shutting it again. It was like she was malfunctioning, opening and closing her mouth yet no sound came out. She furrowed her brows, looking at you as though you were something new and interesting, before finally chuckling, looking away. “Yeah, I-I guess I am.” When she looked back up at you, her eyes were surprisingly sheepish. “Not making a great first impression, am I?”

You couldn't stop the smile that crept up to your eyes. You leaned closer, propping your chin in your hand, and said, “I think you're doing okay so far.” 

Ellie laughed that wondrous laugh again, her nose scrunching up, and the cord in your shoulders loosened. 

“Okay,” she sighed, her eyes still alight with residual laughter. “Okay, damn. Tell me about yourself.” 

“Well now this just sounds like a job interview.” 

Ellie threw her hands up in mock frustration, trying to stifle her own grin. “Okay, fuck, knock me down again! You're obviously an expert, so show me how it's done.” 

She leaned back and crossed her arms, looking at you expectantly, and it was the perfect moment for your drinks to arrive. Ellie did, in fact, order an old-fashioned. The waiter set two wine glasses on the table, producing a bottle seemingly from thin air. He held it out, explaining to you in rehearsed prose the year, acidity, and complexity in words that passed straight through you. You nodded along even as you didn't process a single word he said. 

When he left, you turned back to Ellie and said, “How did you find this place?” 

Ellie took a sip of her drink. The lights of the city danced in the amber glass. “Just an old haunt of mine, I guess.” 

You took a sip of the wine, taking the distraction. It was warm on your tongue, tasting of wood and fruit and something spicy just underneath. The wine you usually drank was the stuff you could find in your nearest grocery store, often tasting concerningly like bug spray and bought with whatever tips you had managed to scrape together from work. It was usually shared with a friend on your kitchen floor, the walls and thoughts spinning over your head. 

You much preferred wine like this: The taste of warmth and fire on your tongue, the cool air brushing your shoulders at the edge of the sky, and a beautiful person sitting across from you.

When Ellie lowered her glass, you could see amber droplets of whiskey clinging to her lips before her tongue darted out to catch them. You tore your eyes away, but her smile said that she had caught you staring. A chill ran up your spine that you were sure was just from the cold. 

Seeing you shiver, Ellie wordless reached behind her where she had tossed her jacket over the back of her chair. Standing, she rounded the table only for a moment, only long enough to place the coat over your shoulders. Her hands lingered there for a second too long before she retreated, sliding back into her seat as though she had never moved. 

“So, why are you here?” she finally said. 

You pulled the jacket around your shoulders, distracted by the smell of it. The same smell that must be her perfume clung to it, spiced and warm like an open fire, but something else clung to the fabric too. It was strangely metallic, sharp and intoxicating, and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. It was shockingly warm against your skin. 

“I’m here,” you said, raising a brow and ignoring her real question, “because you sent me this address and told me to meet you here at eight wearing my nicest dress.” 

The corner of Ellie’s lips quirked, a grin she was trying to hide. She clasped her hands, leaning across the table so you could smell the whiskey on her breath. “And you agreed to meet a stranger at a seedy hotel,” she murmured, mocking your remark from earlier. Her grin revealed itself when your cheeks flushed. “But why are you here - what are you seeking?” 

You huffed out a laugh, shaking your head. “That’s kind of a dumb question, don’t you think? It’s pretty obvious why I’m on the app.” You cocked your head, leaning across the table, feeling a strange thrill when her eyes flashed. Your heart fluttered at the proximity, and you couldn’t remember when you had become so easily starstruck. “The real question, Ellie, is why are you?“ 

Ellie’s eyes darkened, and you weren’t sure if you just imagined her eyes flicking down to your lips. She looked back up at you through her lashes, her voice rough when she said, “That’s a third date kind of question.” 

Your eyebrows shot up. “What makes you so sure you’ll get a third date?” 

Ellie tilted her head, a slow smile pulling at her lips, and said, “Call it a hunch.” 

The waiter came to check on you, appearing at your shoulder like a ghost. You hastily retreated, leaning back in your chair as though the electricity in the air had shocked you, and took a sip of wine that was more than a little overzealous. You tried to choke it down as Ellie waved the waiter away with that heartstopping crooked smile. What happened to you? Since when were you so easily charmed by freckles, green eyes, and smart-ass comments? You couldn't remember the last time you had been so infatuated during a normal date, let alone one with these kinds of strings attached. 

“So you don't want to be in an interview,” Ellie said once the waiter was out of earshot. “I guess all my typical getting to know you conversations are out of the question.” 

“I didn't say that,” you countered, your throat still burning from your accidental wine waterboarding. “But come on - what girl are you going to impress by asking her questions like ‘Tell me about yourself,’ or ‘Why are you here?’ or ‘Why are you more qualified for this position?’”

“Okay, okay, goddamn,” she said, laughing. Grabbing the wine bottle, she looked at you for permission before pouring you another glass.

You brought the glass up to your lips, taking a sip to hide your smile. The flush in your cheeks was surely from the wine and nothing else. “What about you?” 

“What about me?” 

“I hardly know you.” On one hand, that felt entirely untrue - but especially after this recent discovery, you really knew nothing about this girl. “Tell me about you.” 

Ellie laughed that same rough laugh and your heart jumped. “Oh, so you're allowed to be the interviewer.” 

You nodded, twirling the glass between your fingers and looking at her expectantly. 

After a moment, Ellie rolled her eyes and ran a hand through her hair, but you could see the humor in her eyes. She downed the last of her old-fashioned and, like a good sport, said, “What do you want to know?”

Turns out, there was a lot to know - more than a simple dating app would tell you. Ellie had an older sister, Sarah, who lived in Dallas. Her dog was named after her childhood best friend. Her jacket wasn't thrifted after all, but had been her dad's. Speaking of which, she used to go hunting with him every season (“I haven't been in years, though,” she said, her eyes distant). On the weekends, she'd go to antique stores to look for art and trinkets to fill her house - her favorite antiques were from the 17th century. She hated horror movies and was a sucker for a good romance. 

In return, you caved and answered her pressing questions. You told her about your best friend - Ellie laughed when you told her that your friend had sent you the link to the app in the first place. You told her about your favorite show that you binge-watched whenever you felt like you were spiraling. You did not tell her about your apartment that was probably the size of her closet or the fact that you'd have to watch your budget after taking the Uber tonight, not to mention the extra $30 Uber to get home later. You did tell her about your family, and a strange, unexplained sadness crept into the creases around her mouth. You did tell her about your job, but didn't mention the second one you worked to afford groceries. You told her you were hoping for a real, human connection, yet didn't mention that you couldn’t imagine finding it in a fucking sugar mommy. 

All too soon, the wine bottle was empty and your chest was comfortingly warm. The lights strung across the bar danced above your head like fuzzy stars, and Ellie's smile was the brightest amongst them. Her glass was still empty, her wine glass dry, and yet her eyes told you she was intoxicated by something far stronger. 

“Sorry,” you said, giggling despite yourself. “I didn't mean to drink it all.” 

“Don't worry about it, darling,” she said, her voice silky smooth, reminding you of melted chocolate sliding down your throat. She tilted her glass, letting the remnants of melting ice clink against the side. “I wanted to make sure I could drive home okay.” 

The waiter arrived then, pulling the bill from his pocket and handing it to Ellie. You couldn't read the number upside down, not through the haze of the wine, but the number of digits made your stomach clench. Ellie dropped a black card into the folder and handed it back to the waiter. 

“How much do you want me to Venmo you?” you asked when she turned back to you. You clenched your hands in the hem of your dress, already calculating the extra shift you'd have to pick up to afford it. 

Ellie tilted her head, her brows furrowed. “Nothing,” she said, as though it were obvious. 

“That wasn't exactly a cheap bottle, Ellie,” you laughed. “Let me give you something.” 

Ellie hummed, propping her chin in her hand and looking at you with those same intense eyes; it sent a dangerous shiver down your spine. “I like when you say my name.”

You blinked at her. “Excuse me.” 

“I want to hear it again. That's how you can repay me.”

You rolled your eyes. “Ellie, I-” 

“Okay, now we're even,” she interrupted, smiling that crooked grin that you had started to crave. The waiter returned with her card and Ellie produced cash from her pocket, handing it to the waiter directly. He thanked her profusely before making his exit, grinning. When Ellie looked at you again, you were still watching her expectantly, dumbfounded. She finally rolled her eyes. “Seriously, what kind of date would I be if I made you pay?”

“You're not making me, I'm offering.” 

“And I'm saying no.” Ellie stood, straightening her shirt; when she tugged at it, the collar fell a bit, exposing sharp collarbones beneath. 

Rounding the table, she offered a hand to you, pulling you gently to your feet. You pulled her jacket tighter around yourself, knowing you needed to give it back yet unwilling to part with it just yet. 

Taking your arm, Ellie leaned in close enough that your breath caught in your throat and said, “I know why I found you on Seeking, okay? So, if it's alright with you, let me spoil you. Even if that just means one bottle of wine.” 

You laughed, but it sounded breathy even to your own ringing ears. “One very expensive bottle of wine.”

Ellie shrugged, a sparkle in her eye. “It's a small price to pay for your company.”

You were silent in the elevator, but you held on to her arm as though afraid to let go. You couldn't figure out why, but something in you urgently wanted nothing more than to be close to her. You couldn't remember the last time you had felt such a pull from somebody. 

Back on the street, the lights of the city seemed so much brighter than they had before. Ellie released your arm, turning to face you, and there was a strange pinch between her brows that you couldn't translate. 

“Do you want me to call you an Uber, or do you want me to take you home?” she asked, and your brain short-circuited. When you could do nothing but stammer, tripping over your own tongue, Ellie laughed. There was no mockery behind it, only quiet, bright amusement. “I meant I can drive you to your apartment so you don't have to drunkenly sit in an awkward Uber that smells sickeningly sweet and the driver tries to make mind-numbing small talk.” 

Your sigh of relief came out more like a laugh. 

Ellie tilted her head and stepped closer to you, her hand reaching out to graze your fingers, and that sigh was sucked right back into your lungs. Being so close to her made your head spin. Her breath fanned against your cheeks, smelling of warm whiskey, when she said, “Unless you want to come to my place?”

It had the uncertain tilt of a question, and Ellie wouldn't quite meet your eyes. 

“We don't have to do anything,” she continued in a rush. She scratched anxiously at the back of her head, a nervous laugh slipping between her lips. “We can just sit and talk more. Or watch a movie - my dad had this huge collection. I'm not gonna - You know, I'm not going to do anything you don't want.” She finally interrupted herself with a groan, rubbing a hand over her eyes. “Fuck, sorry, I wanted it to sound more suave than this.” 

And you would be a fucking idiot to go home with this impossible stranger. You had been taught better - never get into a stranger's car, and for the love of God, never let them take you to a second location. You could let her take you back to your apartment at least - you were admittedly incredibly tipsy and didn't particularly want to endure another ride with an annoyingly talkative Uber driver. You could go home, back to your claustrophobic, quiet apartment, and maybe - maybe - text  Ellie about setting up a second date. 

You were not stupid enough to go home with somebody on the first date. 

Except clearly you were, because you took the hand that was still grazing your fingers and looked up at Ellie - the contours of her face were shockingly etched with insecurity. And your dumb mouth said, of its own volition, “Okay.”

You had expected something flashy, like what a wealthy person would own in a movie - like a penthouse overlooking the city with too-white walls and electric guitars hanging, unused, on the walls. Maybe she had walls completely made of windows so it felt like you were on a pedestal overlooking the world. 

You hadn't expected a house that was older than your great-grandparents. 

When Ellie pulled into the driveway, you were sure she was just pulling in someplace to turn around, that she had missed her turn somewhere. But she put her stupidly-expensive car into park and killed the engine, shooting you an awkward glance. 

“Sorry,” she said, chuckling. “I know it’s not much.” 

You could only look at her incredulously, speechless, before looking back up at the house before you. You couldn’t even call it a house really - estate would be more fitting. Maybe mansion. Fuck, her house was the size of your apartment complex. It towered over you, three stories of intricate woodwork, warm brown beams wrapping around the structure like an elaborate skeleton. With beautiful eaves winding around the roof and an entire turret reaching for the moon, it looked like something that had stepped right out of some 1800s southern gothic novel. 

Ellie cleared her throat, startling you from a trance. You looked back at her and, for some reason, couldn’t stop yourself from laughing.

”Shit, sorry,” you said, covering your mouth with your hand. “I just - I’ve just never seen anything like it.” When Ellie’s eyes clouded over with uncertainty, you added softly, “It’s beautiful. Besides, Ellie,” you added, laughing again, “‘not much’ doesn’t really suit you.” 

Ellie opened and closed her mouth and yet no words came out. She was looking at you again as though you were something interesting - something new and exciting. Nobody had ever looked at you that way before, and the way your heart clenched at the sight was more than a little dangerous. 

Ellie finally smiled, huffing out a laugh - your heart was pretty satisfied with how often you were able to make her laugh - and said, “Do you still want to come inside?” 

And, surprisingly, you said, “Yeah, I do.” 

As Ellie got out, rounding the car to open your door for you, you discreetly checked that the taser was still in your bag. Sure, you had agreed to go home with a practical stranger, but you couldn't be too careful. 

The porch steps creaked as she led you to the door - double doors (of course), with stained glass and twisting vines carved into the wood. When Ellie opened them, it felt like you were transported to a different time on an entirely different world. 

The grand staircase caught your eye first - how could it not? Warm wooden steps covered in a blood red runner, a white banister winding up, those same vines that seemed to be the house’s signature carved into it. You could see a large, stained-glass window at the landing before it curved to disappear to the second floor. Moonlight splintered through the window in broken relief. 

As though in a trance, you wandered further into the house, walking to the fireplace situated right beneath the stairs. The wood stacked neatly inside was cold, untouched by a flame. There was a large mirror set atop the mantle, its gold frame a work of art alone. In the reflection, you could see the flush to your cheeks, and tried to convince yourself it was only from the cold. You still wore Ellie’s jacket, and you pulled it tight around your shoulders, as though it were a shield. 

You watched Ellie’s reflection as she walked slowly towards you, a small smile gracing her lips. She came close enough to touch - close enough that you could feel her cool breath against the back of your neck - and yet she didn’t put a hand on you. 

“There’s a lot more to see than the foyer,” she murmured, the words brushing your skin. “If you still want.” 

And you couldn’t stop your own smile as you turned back to her, your heart skipping at her proximity. “Show me.” 

She took your hand, her fingers shockingly cold, and led you into what must have been her living room - sitting room? Despite the fact that the house felt more like a museum - like you would get scolded for touching anything - the room was surprisingly cozy. A large, plush sectional was situated in front of another fireplace- this one also unblemished. Blankets and quilts were thrown over the couch and the accompanying chairs, leaving this time capsule looking strangely welcoming. 

“Okay, I have to ask,” you said, turning back to Ellie. She was watching you carefully, gauging your reaction with soft eyes, and you lost your train of thought. You opened your mouth but no sound came out; you weren’t sure if that was more or less embarrassing than the several curses you had said earlier in the night. 

Ellie hummed, raising her hand as though she wanted to touch you. She stopped only inches away from your cheek and dropped her hand, saying, “I’m an open book.” 

You had to turn away to collect your thoughts, wandering across the room if just to catch your breath. The opposite wall was lined with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. You ran your fingers along the spines of vintage classics, an array of science books, and comics, enjoying the irony of seeing Savage Starlight in the middle of all this history. You picked up a copy to keep your hands busy. 

“How, um,” you started, stumbling over your words, “how did you end up here?” 

Ellie hummed again, and you heard her footsteps following you. “Here as in this town, this country, this world? You gotta be a little more specific.” 

You sighed, giving in and turning to look at her. She kept a careful distance, standing a few feet away from you with her hands in her pockets. “You know what I mean, smartass.”

Ellie chuckled, but her eyes had grown distant, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. She took a few more steps closer to you, looking at the comic book in your hands. On the app, she hadn’t struck you as the type to get easily bashful, and yet she had proven you wrong a few times already. 

“My family lived here,” she finally said, quiet as a secret. You watched her carefully, jumping at the opportunity to stare at her without those intense eyes looking back at you. Her brow furrowed and she pressed her lips together as though she was in pain, her green eyes shining. “It was just… passed down, I guess? It’s kind of always been here ever since I can remember. I’m not entirely sure when it became mine.” 

You tucked the comic book back into its spot between The Iliad and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. You said absently, “How old is this place anyway?”

”It was built in 1816,” she said automatically, as though it were memorized. 

“It’s an awfully big house for just one person.” You looked up at her through your lashes as she stepped closer - close enough that you could smell that same metallic warmth that seemed to cling to her. 

“It is,” Ellie murmured, smiling. She reached out again, and this time she allowed herself to touch you. Her cold fingers brushed against your cheek before she gently cupped your jaw, tilting your head so you’d look at her properly. Her green eyes were downright intimidating. “But I keep good company.” 

You rolled your eyes, yet you couldn’t convince yourself to look away. “Is that what you say to all the girls?” 

Ellie hummed, bracing her other hand on the bookshelf behind your head, and murmured, “No, I don’t.” She pressed in closer, her gaze dropping to your mouth, and you felt like your heart was going to leap from your throat. Ellie huffed out a laugh as though she could hear it pounding against your chest. When her thumb brushed your bottom lip, your lips parted on instinct. She didn’t look away, transfixed on the point where her skin touched your mouth, and you almost didn’t hear her when she said, “Can I?” 

And you had never been the kind of person to kiss on the first date, but she was looking at you with eyes hooded with want, her breath fanning against your cheeks. When she licked her lips, you couldn’t stop your eyes from following the motion. Her lips glistened, parted and plump, looking so impossibly soft. Somehow, past your haze, you heard yourself say, “Yes.” 

Ellie took her time in kissing you. She pressed you back gently, your shoulders pressing into the bookshelf behind you, and touched her nose to yours. She took a deep breath, breathing you in. Her hand was soft against your cheek, tilting your jaw up, and you hardly had to move to finally kiss her. 

Ellie tasted just like she smelled - spicy and metallic, the old-fashioned still hanging on her tongue. Despite the cold of her hand on your cheek, her mouth was impossibly warm, her breath slipping between your lips; it was intoxicating in a way that the wine couldn’t compare to. Her mouth moved against yours, soft and slow as a dance. 

Your hands reached out as though of their own accord, circling her waist and gripping at the slippery silk of her shirt. She pressed in close, crowding you against the bookshelf; you could feel her chest pressing against you, her hips on yours, the line of her body against yours making your head spin. And when Ellie’s tongue pressed against your lips, a gentle request for access, you felt like you’d faint altogether. 

Her tongue slipped between your teeth and you couldn’t stop the breathy sound it pulled from your throat. You could feel that infuriating smile against your lips and suddenly wanted nothing more than to wipe it away. You balled her ridiculously expensive shirt in your hands and pulled her impossibly closer, nipping at her bottom lip, and you wanted to swallow her gasp. 

Ellie pulled away, chuckling, but she didn’t go far. She pressed a kiss to your cheek, her lips trailing down to your jaw, and she could probably feel your pulse jump beneath her tongue. You could hear the smile in her voice when she said, “Do you do this often?” 

Her teeth grazed the sensitive spot below your ear, and it took you a few moments before you could respond. “Do what?” Despite yourself - despite the way your fingers gripped her shirt, your head swimming and an unexplainable want burning in your veins - you couldn’t help but laugh. “Go on a date with somebody I met on an app for sugar babies and go back to their ridiculously old mansion on the first date and-“ 

You cut yourself off. You weren’t sure exactly what was happening, and you were afraid that voicing it would break whatever spell you were under - whatever spell made this impossible woman’s touch feel like lightning. 

But Ellie only laughed, biting at the spot where your neck met your shoulder. “Yeah, that.” 

You shivered against her touch. “No, I’ve never really done this.” 

“Guess I’m just lucky.” 

Ellie kissed you again, only briefly, before she finally pulled away. She was grinning, her eyes sparkling with those same constellations; her face wasn’t even flushed, making you feel embarrassed about your burning cheeks. You were panting, intoxicated from the night and wine and Ellie. Her absence felt like an ache, your body craving the feeling of her lips, her teeth, her hands. You were close to tugging her back in, your hands still gripping her shirt, but she gently untangled herself from you with a laugh. 

“I want to keep going.” She paused, and then emphasized, “I really want to keep going. But you drank an entire bottle of wine, and I’d be kind of a shitty host if I didn’t offer you something to drink at least. Or are you hungry?” 

You were hungry, but it was the kind of hunger that food wouldn’t satiate. Still, you let your hands drop back to your sides, feeling your senses return to you now that they weren’t so tuned into Ellie - how she smelled, tasted, felt. When you laughed, it sounded breathy even to your own ears. “Some water would be nice.” 

“I can do that,” she said with a smile. “Stay here.” She kissed you again, lingering for a few moments longer than needed, before she turned and disappeared down the hall, leaving you alone in this ridiculously old mansion. 

With nothing else to keep yourself entertained, you did a slow lap around the room, eyeing the ironic blend of elegant antiques and silly trinkets that were so obviously Ellie. A cracked ivory trinket box sat on a shelf, intricate flowers engraved into the lid, set right next to a small figurine of an astronaut. Beautiful paintings lined the walls, signatures dating back to 1830 in elaborate script at the bottom, but there were also a few posters littered here and there - bands and video games. 

You walked over to the mantle, your fingers grazing over the marble top. The logs inside were untouched, and you briefly wondered if she’d light a fire soon to chase out the chill of autumn. A small jar filled with guitar picks sat at the corner, and you wondered if she really did have an electric guitar collection hidden around here somewhere. Your foot kicked an empty dog bowl, and yet Riley was nowhere to be found. Maybe Ellie took her to daycare when she knew she’d bring a girl home. You nearly laughed at the idea. 

Atop the mantle, hidden behind pictures of what must have been friends or family - hiking or traveling or laughing in somebody’s backyard - there was another picture frame. It must have fallen, face down so that the picture inside was covered. You reached out, careful to not disturb any of the other frames, and picked it up. You were just going to fix it, set it up next to the others, but something in the image caught your eye. You plucked it from its home, bringing it closer, holding it up to the light to get a better look. For a long time, you couldn’t figure out what you were looking at. Your heart hammered against your chest, your ears ringing, as though your body had figured it out before your brain did. 

It was an old photograph, grainy and sepia, faded and frayed around the edges with age. It was the house, looking just like it did today - the huge windows shining in the sunlight, the intricate eaves and wrap-around porch perfectly polished and new. A family stood on the lawn in front of the house, looking awkward and stiff. Back then, cameras took several minutes to actually capture a photo, so people tended to look a little awkward from trying to hold the same expression for so long. But that’s not what had caught your eye. 

It was a small family - a weary looking dad and his two daughters, looking just a few years younger than you. 

She looked a little different. Her hair was longer, falling in waves around her shoulders. She was definitely a few years younger, and she wore a sweet, full-length gown instead of a worn leather jacket. 

You checked the date in the bottom corner at least five times, but there was no mistaking it. The person in the photo was undeniably Ellie, standing in front of this house in 1816. 

tag list: @macaroni676 @ellstronaut @elliewilliamsmiller0 @elliescoolerwife @letsreadsomesins-shallwe @peejayurple @liliflowers-blog @filtered-sunlight @hobbybound

[basicallyaturtle]

never been part of a tag game, sounds really fun! tagged by dear Lanvender, @khan-crete

Do you make your bed? A freshly decrumbed, stuffed animal arranged and dirty clothes removed bed feels great. How often do I do this? We mustn't ask (like once or twice a month) that's all making the bed entails for me, I just have a fitted then normal sheet and blankets

Favorite Number? 4 4 4 4 4! I've loved four my entire life she is like a goddess to me. 2+2 2*2 2^2, divides into halves twice. can only compete with sixteen, whose status and 2^4 and 4^2 is nice, but not as symmetric. 37 and 73 have a place in my heart as the 12th and 21st primes, but not a large place compared to 4

What's your job? What do I get paid for? undergrad lab TA, what do I do? grad research in low energy nuclear physics

If you could go back to school, would you? In school technically still. Would I rewind time to experience school again? highschool no college yes. would I go back for another college degree? I could be convinced if it would be cheap and unobtrusive to my current schooling. Was always torn between physics and linguistics. I made the right choice but I always wonder what if.

Can you Parallel Park? I have done it, on the driving test, like four or five years ago. I think I could do it again, but not too confident

Do you think Aliens are real? Eh, probably in a 'the observable universe 9.3e+9 ly across, it must have happened more than once' kinda way, but not in a 'they've been feeding us tech for thousands of years or are visiting us' kinda way.

Can you drive a manual car? Never tried, hubris tell me yes, anxiety with even normal cars tells me I'd probably fuck up the transmission while trying to leave the driveway. gonna say yeag

Guilty Pleasure? I think like cheesy childhood disney live action movies?, generally I'm pretty full chested about the things I enjoy

Favorite Type of Music? yeah, hard, a lot of vocaloid, which isn't reallly a genre, a lot of edm genres from like old school monstercat, a lot of jrock by way of anime OP's of show's I've never watched then finding other songs by those artists. some rock music though that genre is also extremely expansive and I'm not sure how I'd categorize a lot of it. Generally my music consumption consists of a group of maybe five songs completely unrelated on repeat for months at a time and genre is not a huge factor in that

Do you like puzzles? twisty puzzles like rubik's cube type puzzles are really fun working, towards doing a 3x3 blindfolded but challenging, I used to do jigsaw's with my mom but over the course of a very long time because we'd get frustrated. crosswords, but I'm no good at them

Favorite Childhood Sport? Soccerrrr. Wish I'd stayed with it, but there were only a couple more years before there wasn't a league for my age group anyway, been trying to get back into it recreationally

Do you talk to yourself? I do, but as if I'm talking to someone else. I prefer not to do it because I'm not content with my voice atm, but I find myself doing it a lot especially when getting stuck on research stuff trying to talk it out or I will say a comment to someone I disagree with outloud rather than typing it and posting it. A lot of this is to my reflection which is probably part of the reason it feels like someone else lol

Tea or Coffee? tea all the way. drank iced sweet black tea my entire childhood and started drinking it hot with milk in college. I was the kind of person that disliking coffee was a sort of pillar of my tastes, but then a few years ago made it with like half milk and a lot of sugar and like it, lotta people wouldn't call that coffee, but eh.

First thing you wanted to be when you grew up? The actual first thing was everything. I would amalgamate like all the stereotypes of things kids want to be into one so a firefighter-astronaut-whatever else. When I got a better sense of my interests, inventor, so I guess like product designer, but what that meant to me was I got to sit around and think of neat gadgets and items then figure out how to make them like freeze ray, time machine, clone gun, that kind of thing lol. the first practical idea of a job I wanted was theoretical physicist in like middle school, which I kinda am now so success I guess

What Movies do you Adore? not much of a movie person, but like to watch movies other people are interested in with them, love castle in the sky, LOTR, howl's moving castle, your name, probably others in those categories I don't know about yet or have forgotten and I have a strong soft spot for childhood halloween movies like twitches and halloweentown

I'm curious what @arc-archernar and @charyou-tree have got to say if they'd like to, and anyone else that wants to participate!

[scary-monsters]

i got tagged in two different posts by @phidont and @peapodsinspace (thank you both!!) so i decided to mash them together for ease LOL, i love doing these i just take forever to get to them :'))

Fav Color: burnt orange 🧡 been really loving avocado green lately as well, specifically if partnered with burnt orange

Last Song: "worry" by the wombats

Currently Craving: diego brando's delicious succulent-- ...nvm. a tattoo and a haircut, actually.

Coffee or Tea: tea, coffee makes my stomach very upset 😔

Fav song of all time: "star treatment" by arctic monkeys but "my own soul's warning" by the killers is a close second lately

Childhood pets: we had SO MANY oh my god.. i consistently grew up with a household of cats, my dad brought in an abandoned litter from work one winter (his job was at a steel warehouse) so i think at one point we had around 10 cats total 😳 most of the litter eventually found good homes elsewhere. but at various times we also had hamsters, a gecko, and a few dogs. all very well taken care of because both my parents are huge animal lovers, my dad was the biggest cat person i ever knew LOL.

Hobby: who has time for hobbies anymore..... no im kidding, UHH... obviously art but that's more of something i call a "passion" rather than a casual hobby. i consider writing my biggest one, probably? i don't game much anymore but i used to be into that stuff too.

Comfort show, movie, or book: HEATHERS... my fave movie ever, also napoleon dynamite. i'll also always have a soft spot for parks & rec, it got me through some rough times in the past.

On tumblr since: 2009.... 👵👵👵 i think i started out as a walking dead blog but i cleared my archive when i got into jojo

Fun fact about myself: i was IP banned from neopets twice ✌️ back in middle school 💀

open tagging, if you're reading this consider yourself tagged but also i'll just go ahead and tag a couple LONG time mutuals from literal years ago 🧡 no pressure at all though @crown-of-winterthorne @queen-eevee @semi-jpg @shortnsalt

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

Thank you so much @callivich for taking the time and effort for coming up with these questions, and thank you @such-a-barbarian for tagging me also!

This got long lol

What’s a fic you’ve read more than once? 

one of my favorite generas of fic is shameless Mickey worship and for that I aways come back to from head to toe and the many things Mickey Milkovich has been called, Unforgiving Touches and the Feeling of Their Bruises. 

also, in no particular order You’re Tough To Love When You Don’t Love Yourself, the broad shouldered beasts series, sincerity is scary.

for something a little smutty go back to sleep has always been a favorite of mine

and as always, my favorite fic of all time Boy In The Box

What’s a gifset you always have to reblog? 

i love that gif set of Ian sniffin’ on his husband, also I think there’s one thats a compilation of Mickey’s best smiles through the series, gorgeous.

this beautifully edited (?) gifset I stg this is better quality than the actual show idk how they did that

this gorgeous art/gifset is awesome also!

this one is very important to me but man it hurts

another heartbreaker

everyone say thank you gif makers!!!!

What’s a fanart you love looking at?

I literally just saw this one for the first time, it immediately went to the top of my list!!

Its so beautifully done and captures the tone of the original piece so well while also transforming it into a unique moment and commentary on intimacy in their own relationship, ugh, gorgeous 

What’s a headcanon you can’t stop thinking about?

creative mickey! the best thing season 10 gave us was mickey and his notebook. i just know when Ian sees that thing come out post canon a part of him locks up in genuine fear

i don’t really think he gets into art persay, but just being a creative thinker, figuring out how to run their business, decorating their apartment, building ian a garden on their balcony when he gets put on the waitlist for the community garden

What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration?

so I had this idea very vaguely floating around in my head for a while, but it wasn’t even remotely formed, let alone developed and then suddenly last weekend the plot just came to me in that beautiful and cruel way inspiration comes and goes, but it will take forever to write because I want the pace to feel very slow and syrupy and a little dream (or nightmare) like.

i dont want to give away the plot but its very southern gothic, slight true crime elements, cults, slight age difference (younger Mickey)… anyways if anyone from the rural south wants to be on call to explain geography and culture to me, hit me up 

i also have an idea for a dirty filthy, nasty smut fic but i would have to post it anonymously i wouldnt be able to look anyone in the (virtual) eyes

What’s something you’ve discovered since entering this fandom? A new trope you love? A different analysis of the show? Something else?

in all seriousness, analyzing Shameless as a show overall is so interesting, understanding each of the characters as case studies in different particular expressions of being raised in poverty, which is what makes it twice as upsetting when someone is like, ‘why would this character do this, thats so stupid’ and the answer is that statically speaking that character was actually very likely to do that because of the circumstances they were born into and the way they’ve been affected by that throughout their life, but okay. I also noticed that a lot of people on here are not from America and I always wonder what their take on the social/political reading of the show, if it feels familiar at all etc.. 

i also remember the first time someone commented under my fic to be like, ‘why are you giving Mickey a pass Ian did this’, and someone else commented underneath that ‘oh well Mickey did that so he’s a bad person etc.’ and it was just so upsetting to me, I dont see a lot of that on my dash but I just personally believe that if you are judging teenagers/young adults who are in the middle of their first major mental health crisis or who have suffered unimaginable abuse and neglect their entire life, you need to recalibrate your empathy levels 

What’s your favourite season? And has this changed after multiple rewatches of the show?

I love love early seasons (1-3) there is just something so nostalgic about it and as a show that’s when the writing was at its most creative and interestingly paced

also who doesn’t love baby gallavich?

What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship? 

Ugh Im so sorry I am going to have to add all the lyrics to In Your Love by Tyler Childers, the inspiration for my first fic title because it is the most perfect song to encapsulate the passion between them and the work and sacrifices they put up for each other

What’s a plot hole you wish had been answered or resolved?

where is mandy? where the fuck is my girl?

also the fact that kevin had a son with v’s mom and just, has no interest in a relationship with him? like that made the story easier for sure but it doesn’t make sense with his character

What scene or moment do you feel isn’t discussed enough?

guys, there is not a scene in this show that we have not done to death already (affectionate)

and you know what? we’ll do it again!

but just for the sake of it, the “would you take care of me if i was paralyzed” scene, you can see that Mickey is almost idk, hesitant? but that’s because he’s really picturing it and that his yes is genuine and thought out, and ian’s face of wonder when he realizes that he has someone who loves him unconditionally and forever? earth shattering

What do you think is next for Ian and Mickey post-finale?

listen, i think the laws of television writers being assholes would dictate that they would give a break up (and maybe reconciliation) arc which is my least favorite television trope

but irl? (u know what i mean) i think they do have some hard, stressful times both out of their relationships and in it and realize pretty quickly that they have to work as a team and lean on each other and it only makes them closer

i also think that they simply refuse to sleep without each other, like one night when Ian gets stuck at the gallagher house taking care of sick franny mickey will drive over and sleep in the twin bed with him or if mickey gets wasted on a night out with sandy and debbie and his battery runs out he’ll stumble his ass home instead of going with one of them when they offer even if it takes forever

and ian grows his hair and stubble out to look like it does in the most recent photos (fluffy mullet) and mickey adores it he can’t keep his hands off his husbands head it’s a sensory dream

Thanks again for tagging me!

i’ll tag @stocious @mybrainismelted @sirrudo @solitarycreaturesthey @juliakayyy @jrooc @jezzibelle89 @i-think-you-mean-reduction @iansw0rld

[jazzypizzaz]

Fanfic writer interview meme

thanks @obstinatecondolement for tagging me!

How many works do you have on AO3? 79

What's your total AO3 word count? 337,715

Your Top 5 stories by kudos

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This DS9, Quodo cuddling, Odo is a blanket. Of all my fics this is the one I’m most perplexed by its kudo count. Are people that hungry for hurt/comfort pre-slash? Was it on a rec list of a popular blogger I’m unaware of? I don’t know, like it’s very nice it's good fic, but not one I think about often.

What Is This Feeling, So Sudden and New? DS9, Quodo, Odo adjusts to being solid, drinks all sorts of drinks, and has a sexual awakening. Now this is the fic I’m most proud of. That makes sense. Sexual tension! Plot! Emotional beats paced just right! (imo)

like to the lark at break of day arising OFMD, Stede/Ed’s first time, silly but emotional sex. This one I posted just at the right time in the fandom, and I had a lot of fun with it. Dumb banter, Stede gets carried away, Ed nuts and cries, I’m hitting all my favorite tropes lol.

Made Me Feel (Shiny and New) DS9, the sweetest hard Quodo, slow banging D/s double bluff. I never question a smut fic doing well. I assume you’re in it for the same reason I wrote it lmao.

Down On My Knees (I Wanna Take You There) DS9, Quodo, blowjob and tentacle sex. Ditto. :-P

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 

I always try to!!! The exception being if I’m not paying attention to fandom at all at the time, I go through phases like anything.

As a reader, I love to comment for the author interaction -- especially because sometimes you mention something you liked and it unlocks a whole interesting train of thought from the author about the behind the scenes insights, like a bonus meta. I’m obsessed by this pairing, you are too, please tell me everything hell yeah.

Do you write crossovers? 

I’ve written one Glee/TNG and one Glee/Harry Potter. Not generally though.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

Yes. Oh idk whatever I think is hot that the character also might be into. It has to be goofy, somewhat ridiculous, and definitely too many feelings are involved... 

Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

Not that I know.

Have you ever had a fic translated? 

I think someone asked me for permission once or twice, but I don’t remember if I saw the final result.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

No, gosh that’d really have to be the right person because it sounds maddening as a process. The potential to be more fun?? But potentially more frustrating.

What's your all time favorite ship? 

Oh you know. Somehow I started writing for rubber head aliens and never looked back.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but probably never will? 

I’m bad at starting things (there are tons of fic prompts I squirrel away for a rainy day), but compulsive about finishing them. If I have more than a couple hundred words written, by jove I’ll figure out a way to get to something I can call a final product that I share, even if it's several years later. 

Even when I’ve posted WIPs, almost the entire fic was written, I just needed to iron out details in the second part and only published the first part to stop myself from messing with it. Actually, exception that proves the rule (?) Coin-Operated Boy is my first true WIP, where I have a long list of ideas brainstormed, but I’m writing a bit by the seat of my pants rather than having all the plot points mapped out already. We’ll see how that goes, always fun to try something new!!

I’m also still committed to finishing the fic I started where Quark and Odo meet in prison and escape together based on this one comic about Rocket/Groot I read. I have like 7k written but there’s a looooot of rough sketchy bits and both details and broad strokes I have to figure out first.

What are your writing strengths? 

Managing tone? Something I enjoy doing anyway -- zipping along on a wild ride from goofy to angsty to heartfelt to absurd and back again. I’ve also been told I’m good at weird banter lol.

What are your writing weaknesses? 

Awkward run on sentences where I’m trying to pack too much in at once. PLOT ??? WHAT IS PLOT why can’t the characters just have a lot of feelings for no reason idk idk. being heavy handed with metaphors and ~themes~

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet, but want to? 

I want to write for Phlox sometime. I’m sure there’s a Quark rare pair I haven’t touched yet that’ll get obsessed with enough for a oneshot lol.

What's your favorite fic that you've written?

“What Is This Feeling?” has my whole heart. 

"Dinner for One" also has a special place - getting out my Sisko family feels, plus I pulled off making Siskuark happen (briefly) lol.

--

@wowbright @chacusha @quodo-brainrot tagging you if you want to participate I'd love to read your respones!

[jokerislandgirl32]

What is something that Zach does that annoys you and Vice Versa?

Hi anon! Thank you so much for this ask! I’ll be answering as Zach and Violet! In response to this post! Putting it below a cut because it’s kind of long!

P.S. And if you haven’t noticed, I’m slowly going through and tagging any asks send to me about Zach and Violet with the tag #ziolet asks (right now I’m up to October of last year in adding the tag…it’s gonna be a bit, lol).

So! Feel free to search for more asks on my blog via this tag if you’d like!

Violet:

Oh my goodness, yesss. I love him, but I’ve got a short temper….stop snickering Zach, it’s not funny, I can’t help my height!

I’d say his whining can really get on my nerves at times. Usually it’s endearing and cute, but sometimes….ugh, it’s like nails on a chalkboard when he keeps whining and whining and just won’t stop (see below for the proof, Donita will back me up)!

I also do not like his volatile temper. When Zach is upset he’s prone to not think twice about what he’s doing. He just goes full steam ahead and ends up creating a huge mess or hurting himself…and I’m there to take the brunt of his anger, either having to deal with his ranting and raving when he didn’t get his way or having to drag him out of his messes. And, no surprise, this can lead to more whining…

Then there’s his treatment of animals….ughhhh, I love Zach, but I also love animals soooo much! I hate that he uses them for spare parts leading them to be hurt, exhausted, and emotionally drained as a result. They are living creatures and deserve love, kindness, and respect!

Zach gets upset when I attempt to foil his plans all for the sake of making sure the animals are healthy and happy, but I can’t stand by and tolerate his actions. Zach is so capable of creating wonderful inventions without the need for animals as the power source. And it bothers me and annoys me that he can’t see that for himself.

Zach’s Response:

Vi is my world but she can just be ohhh, oh so annoying! Don’t give me that look, you know you can be…

She’s always seems to be in this chipper mood and is trying to make the best out of everything. She’s nearly bouncing with joy with every step she takes, and is always smiling or singing. I love her smile and voice but when I’m not feeling up to it it’s a lot to handle.

Then she can be so touchy and feely…she is always putting her hands on me and hugging me and kissing me (and she’s in that annoying excited and chipper mood at the same), and it can be so overwhelming! I love to feel her skin against mine, it’s pretty calming actually, but when the minx is there grabbing onto me and hopping up and down it’s just too much (see below for how I look when she begins bouncing like that cartoon cat Tiger Bounce A Lot or whatever).

And there’s the problem with her wrecking my inventions. She’s just like those Wild Rats wanting all the stinky, cute animals to be living ‘free and in the wild.’ She doesn’t hesitate to unlock their cages, or override the Zachbot’s codes to let them release them. She’s even snatch some right out from under my nose once they were in the inventions!

I’ve found her feeding them and cooing at them like they are babies while my inventions sat motionless. And all she can do is blink those huge, beautiful eyes at me and whimper about how the varmint wasn’t happy, about how I can do so much better without the varmints. She even has the audacity to say I’m smarter than this! Argh, it’s just soooo annoying!

[kayleigh-83]

Thanks for tagging me @eulaliasims

1. What’s your favourite sims death? Never thought about having a favourite, maybe the cowplant? Or maybe when death results from something usually mundane like hail or lightning (I’ve had that one).

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? Mainly Maxis match, but I think of my style as like 90% MM and 10% semi-realistic (more on the BB side) because I do find the occasional thing that fits in with my style from that aesthetic. And I feel like my style is somewhere between the true Maxis match and the cartoony style.

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? No? Seems odd!

4. Do you use move objects? Constantly, it’s on more than it’s off. I have an alias set up in my cheat file.

5. Favorite mod? Wow that’s a hard one to narrow down, so I’m gonna choose a few. Based on what has the biggest and most widespread effects, I’d say ACR, Community Lot time, and the whole Traits system (that’s cheating since it’s a million mods but I don’t care lol)

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? Would have been the very first pack, so University I guess! When the games came out I was living at home still and my mom played too, so we always got them relatively soon. Uni came out a month or so before my birthday so I suspect I probably got it as a gift that year.

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? LIVE as in LIVING, @eulaliasims is 1000% correct.

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? So not counting born in game? Sort of a tie but I’ve always been very fond of Joshua and Roxanne Lewis, they were two of Brightmaple’s founders - the first ones I thought up, and first ones I created.

9. Have you made a simself? Yes, in my old neighbourhood, I was a vampire along with the Sim version of my cousin. We lived in a huge Victorian mansion I built where I sent all the vampires in the hood to live.

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? Brooding, couch potato, good, loves the heat, hopeless romantic

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? Don’t really have one I guess.

12. Favorite EA hair? Also don’t really have one lol.

13. Favorite life stage? Probably adult because the most happens, but I also really enjoy toddler which is a hot take in most circles.

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? Both! The building is fun and a creative outlet for me, but I do it so I can create more immersive and enjoyable worlds to play in too.

15. Are you a CC creator? Yes but on and off, I do it purely for fun and primarily for things I want in my game. So I take long breaks of making nothing at all, when I’m not in the mood.

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? I wouldn’t really say so? I do chat with people from time to time and have lots of great acquaintances on here! I find it to be a generally very nice community. But I usually find online friendship difficult since I find it harder to read people purely through text with no baseline for knowing them irl, for things like tone of voice/mannerisms/body language and just general vibe.

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) Well I think it’s pretty obvious TS2 has ruined all other games for me (not just other Sims games either).

18. Do you have any sims merch? nope

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? Actually yes! For speed builds.

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? Gotten more Maxis match in terms of aesthetic, if you scroll back to like, pre-2017 on my blog you can see that for sure. For play style it’s a lot more structured - pure rotational so ages sync, more wants based, paying a lot more attention to their personalities etc.

21. What’s your Origin ID? I’ve been playing with either the RPC Launcher or a no-CD crack since the day I switched to the UC, so although I do have an Origin ID I’ve literally used it probably twice ever. So no idea!

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? There’s too many to pick!

23. How long have you had a simblr? My very first Simblr post was July 31, 2016. Before that I had a bit of a hiatus from playing for a few years, and before that I was on Livejournal/Dreamwidth.

24. How do you edit your pictures? My photo editing program (PSP8) is literally from the era of TS2 itself, which seems appropriate. It’s always worked perfectly well for me - I downloaded Photoshop a couple times but always found doing the same actions clunky and unfamiliar, so I stick with what I know. I adjust curves, saturation, and add a very slight (probably imperceptible) bloom effect. Then I crop in, and I resize by width - meaning my pics are always the same width, but the height varies slightly. I prioritize getting everything into the frame that I want, and don’t really care if the heights are different.

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? If I were making up hypothetical TS2 EP’s? I wouldn’t have minded something like Superstar from the Sims 1, having my Sims become famous (if it was done more like OFB/hands on style rather than “off to work in a carpool for the day” style) would have been pretty fun.

26. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? That’s really tough to pick. Probably Seasons (such world building!), Freetime (the hobbies system adds so much depth for me!) or Open For Business (my whole hood has no EA careers and only businesses sooo...) or Pets?? I love my Sims having pets. They’re all so good!

I’m seeing this going around, so please allow me to tag @you if you haven’t been yet and wanna do this!

[sanchoyo]

Hi hi! (I didn't really know where to send this when I found your three blogs lol) But I came from your Shigaraki x Reader fic! "Warm Healer" :D I "devoured" it so quickly! I almost regret it, thinking I should've read slower but it was too good to not read it!! I really loved it, it's now my comfort fic <3 I honestly never thought I'd have a comfort fic one day because there are lots of good fics out there but yours? Damn it was good! I love how you write in general, It's so easy to read. And I don't mean it in a "baby easy" but I mean it as someone who's native language isn't English! I love imagining stuff in my head so you don't know how glad I was to be able to picture every scenes with so much ease! <3 I loved how you wrote MC-Chan/Reader, she's a lot like me to be honest and I could easily imagine myself in Warm Healer, even if she's braver than me lol I also love how you wrote Shigaraki, I don't know what else to say, it's just PERFECTION gdfghmjthnhgj Except the fact that I was picturing him with white hair oops xD But that's Horikoshi's fault lmao /joking

And I love how you wrote the other league members too, Dabi, Toga, Spinner, Compress, Twice, they're all so funny and/or cutie patooties! Himiko would be such a real bestie I know you wrote those AGES ago but I'd like to know if it's not too late to make fanart :3 There are two scenes that are engraved in my brain that I'd love to draw (+Tojiki!!) Tojiki seems to have a very cool design from the descriptions, so I would love to give it a try ^^ I would also like to know if I can keep some headcanons of Shiggy? Like, for example, the one where he likes jellyfishes, I really love that one it's so cute nvhgnhchcvbngv <3 Anywho! I loved it! Keep up the good work and thank you for making this fic! :D I really enjoyed it! Have a good day and take care! *Runs to read the other parts*

aaa sorry for any confusion with how many blogs I have (I have more than three actually lmao) its totally fine you sent it here!! my writing blog is @sanchoyowrites but I really only hop on there when I post something every few months so this is fine to send asks to, as well as over there :3

I'm so happy to hear that people can still enjoy it after all these years!! (I've been meaning to do a grammar correction sweep on it for years because I wrote it so long ago ;w;/ ) but I'm really relieved its an easy read despite any mistakes it might have ^_^ I never got overly descriptive with anything because I figured most people could fill in the blanks and imagine stuff about a scene in their mind so I love being right about that :D

MC-chan is braver than me too hahaha if I was in that situation I would've noped out and stayed at home (recluse reader/shigaraki when?? lmao) but I'm glad parts of her were still relatable!! she's a very 'do good recklessly' type character which I always enjoy writing <3

I like both him with dusty blue hair and the white hair. and the grey hair some people give him. all hair colors are Good hair colors on him because he is Cute <3

I'm happy you liked how I wrote the league too!! they get more screen time in the later parts of the series so I hope you continue to enjoy them :D

You can TOTALLY FOR SURE do any fanart omg!!! just tag me if you post it because I would LOVE to see any 🥺!! that would be so so cool but no pressure of course!

and yes anyone is free to yoink the little character details I added to shigaraki kjasdhfk that's very flattering, use those headcanons wherever you'd like (as far as i'm concerned the warm healer/ climats d'amour series is an open series anyone can use any parts of however they like!! anyone is free to carry those ideas over to other fics or art! I give everyone blanket permissions to do Whatever and treat it as you would public domain stuff <3)

Thank YOU so much for the kind message and letting me know you enjoyed it!! This was a really sweet message to wake up to, I appreciate you taking the time to write it out to me! I hope you also have a great day and enjoy the rest of the series!!!

[froizetta]

20 Questions for fic writers!

Tagged by @ginbenci! Thank you! :)

How many works do you have on AO3?

12! All since last August

What’s your total A03 word count? 134,798

What fandoms do you write for?

So far just DCU, but I like a lot of things! I will branch out one day, when the brainrot loosens its grip.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Padam Padam - superbat, E (7.5k)

Batman's heartbeat keeps speeding up whenever Clark is around. For instance: when Clark greets him, half-naked, on a Gotham rooftop. Or when he uses his superstrength to save a busload of schoolchildren. Or sometimes even just when he smiles. Clearly the poor man is terrified of him.

By far my most popular fic! Probably because it found it's way to tiktok (this still feels wild to me). Despite the fact that borderline crack and I wrote it in about 3 days, it has twice the number of kudos as the fic below in this list. Or perhaps it's because I took the idea from a tumblr post rather than coming up with it myself? Hmmmmm.

2. An Honest Conversation - superbat, E (60k)

“So Bruce’s longtime best friend had suddenly decided to start eye-fucking him at random. So what? Bruce was used to being the object of this kind of attention. It didn’t bother him. It was—should have been fine. The issue was that it was Clark, and Bruce had enough trouble remaining rational about him at the best of times.” or Bruce and Clark go from friends to lovers the long, long, long way round. Featuring a number of revelations, a well-meaning but nosy son (Dick) and, most prominently, two adult men being completely and utterly useless.

My first fic, and the closest one I have right now to a magnum opus! It started off as a silly oneshot and then got surprisingly angsty towards the end (although no less silly tbh, that's apparently just my whole vibe as a writer).

3. Hiding In Plain Sight - superbat, T (3.5k)

Clark Kent, reporter for the Daily Planet, is clearly just Superman wearing glasses. For some reason, no-one but Bruce can see that. There is a distinct possibility that Bruce has lost his mind.

Written for Bruce Wayne Week 2023, as are the rest on this list! Written because...well. He totally is just wearing glasses. I'll happily suspend my disbelief, but I'm still not letting it go, damn it.

4. Holding Onto A Hero - superbat, T (2.5k)

Clark squinted sleep-tired eyes and frowned. “B? Everything okay?” And then Bruce shivered. In a fraction of a second he was beside the bed, and in another he was settling a knee onto the mattress and wrapping his arms around Clark’s waist, cowled face pressed into Clark’s chest. “So,” Clark said conversationally. “I’m gonna go ahead and take that as a no.”

The prompt was cuddle pollen, and it really is just a short-n-sweet, soft, cuddly, getting together fic. Also, I got to insert a little vague allusion to neuroscience, which is always nice (although oxytocin doesn't actually work like that, the effect is sex-specific and increasing it can actually promote aggression in some- okay, okay, I'll shut up).

5. More Fun Than Counting Sheep - superbat, E (5.5k)

When Bruce can't sleep, Clark proposes an unconventional solution. (The solution is sex.)

The prompt I took was sleep-deprived Bruce. Nothing about that suggested it should be smut, and yet here we are. I wrote this because I thought it would be funny to have Clark try to seduce Bruce into sleeping (and for it to work), and honestly? I stand by that.

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm none of them really. Maybe A Stitch In Spacetime (Gen, 4.5k - in which Batman meets a version of himself whose parents never died so he became a surgeon like his dad). But only because the ending is more hopeful than actively happy. Batman has still lost Jason, but he's finally trying to heal; Doctor Bruce still wants kids he doesn't have, but maybe after this that will change. (Also, unrelated but I'm really proud of the title for this one lol. I love a pun, what can I say.)

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, they're most all happy, but probably An Honest Conversation? Just because the finale was INCREDIBLY sappy, and there was a lot bullshit preceding it that they had to get through, which certainly made the ending cathartic to write!

Do you get hate on your fic?

Not yet! Apart from a couple of slightly iffy comments, everyone has been lovely. But then, I'm not writing anything particularly controversial lol. Hopefully the trend continues outside of genfic and superbat.

Do you write smut?

Yes, a lot lol, nearly half of my fics are E-rated. Look, if I write a romance in which the pairing solves some kind of relationship issue and grow closer as a result, some part of my brain is always gonna be thinking, "Hm. What if they banged about it?" Also, I love a sex comedy, so there's that too.

Do you write crossovers?

No. I don't think I'm into any fandoms right now that I would WANT to cross over tbh. I've read my fair share, though!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of!

Have you ever co-written a fic?

No, but I'd theoretically be open to it! I think it would be tricky in practise though, unless you an your co-writer are really on the same wavelength. Even writers I really like don't necessarily write in the same style as me, so that could create difficulties.

What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

I mean. Superbat right now for sure. I'm usually a multishipper, but for whatever reason they have a death grip on me. I'm still basically an omnivore though!

What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Hmm, this feels like a very defeatist question since I do plan to finish everything I start. Probably the fic I started writing for a friend's birthday based on a premise we discussed nearly a decade ago. It's a wholesome romance between two of the sidest side characters in Haikyuu!! (Tanaka Saeko and Tsukiyama Akiteru, for the curious; they do interact, but barely), because my friend was there with her Charlie Kelly conspiracy board saying, "They're both in uni! They're in the same prefecture! They knew each other in high school! They're both older siblings of main characters on the same team, so they can go watch the matches together! There's so much to work with!!!" This has apparently been her lowkey white whale ever since, but she's never managed to write it, so I offered to have a go. Tragically, them being SUCH side characters means I have to all but invent a personality for one of them, which makes figuring out their dynamic a lot harder lol. But I still want to finish it one day, for her sake!

What’s your writing strengths?

Comedy I think, specifically deriving humour from awkward situations (that I have made up) - and often it's the quiet chuckle kind rather than the knee-slapping kind. But YMMV on whether anything I write is actually funny! I can only hope :')

What’s your writing weakness?

Well, I have lots of things I don't feel good enough to write (e.g. long, dramatic epics that I can't fill with jokes), but I mostly haven't wanted to try so I wouldn't say that's a weakness per se. And I have plenty of little things I feel like I need to work on, but none are an easy-to-identify kryptonite-style Weakness. Probably flow and pacing, as it's something I'm very particular about (especially for comedy, where imo it needs to be correct for it to work) but it doesn't always come naturally to me. I do a lot of rounds of editing trying to tweak things so they flow right. Hopefully that will come easier with experience! I'd be fascinated to know what other people thought my weakness was, though; it's often hard to judge yourself, since you're the audience you're writing for.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

In what sense? As in, for example, writing a French-speaking character in French in an otherwise English-language fic? I think that's appropriate when the POV character doesn't speak French, but perhaps can be avoided if they do, as then the average reader is understanding as much as the POV character is.

As to whether I personally would do it, I only really speak one non-English language at a decent level, and even then it's hard to convey nuance in any language you're not fully fluent in. So only sparsely, only if necessary, probably only if I could get a native speaker to check it.

First fandom you wrote for?

I think it was Free!, the anime about the swimmer boys. Back when I was a teenager in school, probably ~16, I anonymously posted a gen crackfic on the LJ kink meme based on an experience I had with some schoolfriends, where a few of us tried to give a less birds-and-the-bees version of The Talk to a sadly uneducated member of the group during a camping trip. (Our school did actually give proper sex education, with the putting expired condoms on dildos and everything, but didn't go into the specifics of, say, doggy style). ANYWAY, that was the only thing I'd ever posted until this year, but apparently my proclivity for writing sex-related comedy has remained unchanged lol.

Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Man I don't know. I just did a similar tag thingy that asked this, and I wasn't sure then, and it feels boring to put the same answer twice? So I'll pick another that's my favourite for a different reason: Master of All Trades (Bruce & Hal, T, 4.5k). I think of all my fics, it has the highest ratio of good to not-that-deep, if that makes sense? Writing Hal's POV was incredibly fun, and I think it turned out really well! And it's definitely one of the few I can reread without cringing lol (reading your own writing after posting it is just embarrassing somehow).

Tagging: I nominate @burins and @unbreakabledawn, but literally 0 pressure at all!

[radellama]

Tagged by @sandushengshou thank youuuu!

~~

1. why did you choose your url?

It's an evolution of a suggestion @woogly-boogly made actually. We were probably 14~ish and I was saying I didn't really have any ideas for a name for my art account I was going to make, and he suggested adellama as a pun on my name and cause I like llamas. Made it radellama cause my nickname is Rads and it sounds cooler lolll

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

Yeas, I used to hoard a few urls for chrono related names but now I don't have any of them cause it got my account sniped for a time 😑

@chrono-the-babe - the chrono blog. It's bigger than my main lmao I love it. I've put effort into making it the best archive of fan shit for chrono that I can, I'm not always up to date with it but I have been going for years and I'm not stopping now

@radellama-art - my art archive, just a nicer place to look through all my art in one place cause sometimes I post on other blogs, but everything rbed to there is mine

@our-ends-will-shine-like-stars - made a blog for this au fic cause it's massive, and I have so much planning and art and stuff for it and don't wanna spam my ct blog too much, so here it goes!

@abe-and-orc - Abe and Orc. I'll post on there properly when I actually have more stuff to show and I start making the comic..... But they're my OCs, gotta nab the url here while I can haha

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

God idk. a little over a decade by this point probably

4. do you have a queue tag?

Used to but I don't really use the queue function anymore. I'm just rbing LMAO

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

I liked seeing the text posts on Pinterest, and when I got here it was so cool to see Loz fanart and stuff for the music I liked at the time!! It was fun making friends and sending each other fan mail on here lollll

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

THEY'RE MY GAY BOYS!! It's Magus (light blue hair, from chrono trigger) and Harland (dark blue hair, my OC I made specifically to be gay with him lmao) I like them!!!!!!

7. why did you choose your header?

It's a funny meme I redrew to be magland 😏😏

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

This one

9. how many mutuals do you have?

Don't count them, and there's no tracker lol

10. how many followers do you have?

149

11. how many people do you follow?

686

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

Yeah probably, idk

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

I usually check in once a day, maybe twice if I have time lol. Otherwise if I'm busy or something I just go on when waiting for public transport or during a lunch break type moment, or just wait until I go to bed and scroll for a bit. Sometimes I just take breaks and don't go on for most the day or skip a day or two just cause I'm not feeling it, or I'm too busy and don't really have the time. It's whatever

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Yeah a few very brief responses but it's not a big deal lol, I try not to get wrapped up in that stuff too much. I'm pretty liberal with blocking if I'm not vibing

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts

Fuck off

16. do you like tag games?

Yeas

17. do you like ask games?

Yeas

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Thog

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

No. The most would probably be infatuation cause they're cool

20. tags

@woogly-boogly @chemicalbrew @just-wublrful @lobotomy-maybe-bestie @controlvariable @future-dregs @fanimefreak @kanonavi @darksideofthemamon @aliciaevers and anyone else who would like to. No pressure as always!

[buffintruder]

20 questions for 20 writers!

@aromantic-enjolras tagged me, thank you for thinking of me!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

....91. Somehow

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

938,024. I'm trying to get it past a million but I haven't been writing much recently so might be another year or two

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I'm a big 'write a bit of many different things' kind of person, but currently Ace Attorney and Kamen Rider (mostly Kamen Rider Blade)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1) what if the real steel samurai fandom was the friends we made along the way (over twice as much kudos as #2 on this list) (ace attorney)

2) Reunion (the untamed)

3) Wanting to Be Wanted (fullmetal alchemist)

4) Klavier's No Good Very Bad Year (ace attorney, sequel to #1 on this list)

5) To Turn the World Upside Down (the only one on this list i actually think is top 5 material, probably the best fic i've ever written) (ace attorney)

5. Do you respond to comments?

In general, it just might take me awhile and there have been a couple comments I took so long getting back to that I decided to just give up on it

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

So I've written a lot of Les Mis canon-compliant fic that ends with the main character's death. But most of those, I feel like the tone I was going for was more "defiant" or "hopeful" despite the death. So I'm going to go with Trust Fall (kamen rider blade) because the ending is sort of more "horrified, betrayed, despair". (no character death, but the canon ending is sort of 'fate worse than death' which this fic ends on)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is also hard because I have written so many fics and most of them have relatively happy endings. I was going to try and go by 'which story has a main character whose situation has improved the most by the end' but i think i lost track a bit and skipped over older fics i didn't remember well

Anyway, going purely off of vibe, I'm going to say Angus McDonald and the Case of the Soul Stealer (the adventure zone)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not never, but I think only a couple of times in my 10 years of posting fanfic, if I did the math right

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Well. I have not posted any smut and I currently have 2 separate wips that are supposed to be smut, however, they both stop exactly when the sex starts so. I'm trying but I don't think I can say I have yet lol

(it took me a few days to actually finish this question thing, and in the intervening time, i did write maybe like 300 words of what may or may not be considered actually the smut part. we'll see.)

10. Do you write crossovers?

I love crossovers but I think I've only written a handful (more if you count things that are in the same franchise but of different characters and different settings, ie two Kamen Rider series or Ace Attorney and the prequel). I want to write a KR Blade Star Trek ds9 crossover but we'll see if that ever happens

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I think way back in the days of ffn, someone translated a Doctor Who/Supernatural fic into Russian

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep, with @arofili !

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

That's a great question and I could not tell you the answer to that. I have the most fics written tagged as Phoenix/Edgeworth though

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Many of them :(((

I have a ghost hunting youtuber au of Kamen Rider W that explores Philip and Wakana's sibling relationship more that I highly doubt will actually get done because I don't have enough plot for it

16. What are your writing strengths?

Maybe dialogue? I'm not sure. I think I write good stories, I just don't know what about them is best. Maybe character development?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes. I get stuck on fighting and kissing/sex scenes for very similar reasons

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm pro and do it sometimes in my own fic. I think there are good ways to do it and not as good ways to do it (for example, to steal what aromantic-enjolras said, don't have characters say a few words in French if they're supposed to have been speaking French the whole time)

My own preference lies to keeping things in the language of the main story (so English for my fics) and translating the dialogue into that language if there's a lot of it. But if it's just a line or two, or if the characters are switching between languages, or if I want it for flavor, or the pov character doesn't understand the language being spoken, etc, I might use the other language. Honestly it depends on what language too, I'm way more likely to put Japanese in a fic (a language I'm very familiar with) or even like French (a language I'm somewhat familiar with) than say Arabic or Russian (languages I know very little about)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The first fandom I wrote for in my whole life was probably Percy Jackson? First fandom I actually posted a fic for was Supernatural/Doctor Who

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

like cards fluttering in the wind, my soul nemesis au. Literally the most fun I've had writing a fic, the concept I am most obsessed with. I'm not sure if it's the best thing i've written but is definitely up there in the top 5. Definitely some scenes are the best thing I've ever written

Tagging @arofili @gallus-rising @queerfandommiscellany @waitineedaname @river-gale @spittinwatches and anyone else who wants to do this

[batwynn]

I might be built different, but I was just catching up on literal months of being off Tumblr (I'm OCD, it's irrelevant). I saw a bunch of posts where you were hedging about talking about your health or anything personal because of anon hate, and I just wanted to say that I absolutely care and want to hear about how you're doing. If people do not want to, you 1) have told people what tag to blacklist, and 2) have an "unfollow" button. It's not hard to show compassion. You are important to me.

To be honest, I reached a point of no return when people were being pointlessly cruel while I was literally so Ill that I was dying. (not once, but twice in one year!) I mean, one full on disgustingly hateful message after another while I was laying in a hospital bed waiting for another brain scan or vomiting up the water they forced me to try.

It’s not that I don’t love and appreciate the kindness of folks like you who do give a hoot about me, and/or are nice enough to scroll by if you don’t have the spoons for it or who are capable of using the black list tag option without complaint. I really do appreciate that so much, and it makes me feel like some people actually remember that I’m a real person still. But I don’t think I can ever really go back to fully talking about my health or a lot of my personal life ever again after that.

I don’t even really feel comfortable disclosing details to close friends anymore, because around the same time I (understandably, I’d think) felt like maybe straight up dying would be better than sort-of-dying-and-suffering for months/years at a time and I had a newish friend stalk me through someone else they knew who ordered something from me, call the police (on a trans/queer and bed ridden disabled person) to come do a ‘wellness check’ on me when they knew I couldn’t get out of bed to even answer the door, never mind the fact that the fucking police do not help in a mental health crisis to begin with. And then they got angry that I wasn’t thankful enough for this, and spread lies and made up a bunch of Evil™️ stuff I supposedly did to deserve having the cops called on me or whatever.

So, yeah. All I’ve really learned is people don’t see me as a real person with a life outside of art, or they sort of do but don’t know the best way to react to it and end up doing something that could cause more harm in… a really inappropriate way. I can’t fault anyone for either one, really. But I sure as hell am not being as open or even as kind as I used to be. And I guess that’s just how the internet is, in the end.

Thank you, though, for caring. Like I said, you and others like you are very highly appreciated. And thanks for reaching out after a long time away from Tumblr. I hope it’s been more fun and not perusing through the Tumblr back log lol. Enjoy the absolute batshit memes we’ve grown here over the past few months, they’re fresh to death.

[songforten]

your comment+tags on the martha vs k9 post... literally thank you so fucking much. martha is one of the companions with the most gentle souls ever, she was nervous about hanging up on her mom when she was literally being eaten by a star for fucks sake. like how many other companions wouldn't think twice about hanging up on their mom right then? how many would make funny quips like "sorry mom lol!!"? and MARTHA is still in the running to be the "beat up the doctor" one? i wouldn't be surprised if i missed a moment where k9 actually shot at the doctor tbh

literally!! martha is a fantastic and layered character. she is a lot of things, but she is never a violent person. she’s brilliant, she’s a medical doctor, she’s dedicated her life to helping people!

and yet i *constantly* see posts like this

[image id: a screenshot of a tumblr post that reads: i am manifesting martha jones with a gun for 2023. end image id.]

and like this

[image id: a screenshot of a tumblr post that reads: i have my heart set on 15 appearing because of martha jones and a shotgun. the tags beneath it read #dw shit #insert gif of the cheshire cat #grinning here #she didn’t manage it the first time but she’s no quitter!!!! #doesn’t Have to be a shotgun. she can shove him off a cliff. end image id.]

there’s a ton of these posts that are like “if martha comes back in the 60th she should get to kick the doctor’s ass!!” like. bestie I don’t know how to tell you this but she forgave him 15 years ago. they are friends in s4. she has an entire life outside of him and she is happy. why do you want her to be hung up on some guy from a decade and a half ago? why do you want her to have an angry grudge against someone who hasn’t been a part of her life in a very long time? she moved on. she healed. which is a helluva lot more healthy than still being angry at him.

the doctor treated martha poorly, and that’s why she left. because she respected herself and she loved herself and knew she deserved better. but I don’t think she ever hated him. her choice to leave is framed as heroic. she steps off with a smile and a hug goodbye and a promise to see each other again.

whether or not you think martha should have forgiven the doctor is irrelevant, because she did. because she is a kind-hearted, loving person. and to frame her as otherwise is a really strange reading of her character. i just feel like a lot of people, when (rightfully) criticizing rtd for his treatment of martha, reduce her to something she’s not, and it’s not fair to her. and i’m not the right person to talk about this, so I won’t go on too long, but i think it would be wrong not to mention that a lot of it feels really racialized. this is a big problem as a whole, but i’ve noticed it a lot in fandom where people will take black characters and decide that they’re violent and they have to be Badass or something. it’s kind of gross. it’s really gross.

[daniclaytcn]

20 Questions for fic Writers!

i was tagged by @lover-of-mine of mine, thank you!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

25!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

131,694

3. What fandoms do you write for?

i currently write only for 911, but i've also written fic for once upon a time!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

the feeling you can know so much (without knowing anything at all) — a 5x09 coda where eddie calls buck out on what he's doing with taylor 'cause you were never mine — a 5x14 coda where the instructor at the equestrian centre assumes that buck is chris' other dad dancing in a snow globe 'round and 'round — my very first 911 fic! it's just pure fluff where buck and eddie get together while buck is babysitting jee (who has a different name in the fic since it was written before 4B, rip) hustling for the good life (never thought i'd meet you here) — different first meeting AU where buck and eddie meet at adriana's wedding, pre-canon how long (till we call this love?) — post s6 finale, where buck and eddie fight over natalia and marisol; have a ton of misunderstandings, but eventually get together

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i haven't always been the greatest at responding, but i've been doing my best on all my latest fics, because people are just so kind and i always feel like they deserve a response :)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hm, i haven't really written fics that end unhappily...but humari adhuri kahani (our incomplete story), where buck and eddie don't end up together

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hm, maybe hustling for the good life (never thought i meet you here) because buck and eddie get together a lot sooner and they actually communicate in this fic xD

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i vaguely remember once getting a nasty comment on an ouat fic, but that was the only one.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i don't, usually...in my recent fic, but i can see all along, love (it was you all the way down), i wrote a very brief description of a sex scene, but i've never written more than that.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i've never written one

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

twice! one of them wasn't on ao3, but the other, humari adhuri kahani (our incomplete story) i co-wrote with @bieddiediaz and @queerdiaz!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

probably buddie xD but captain swan (ouat) comes pretty close!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

my buddie flower shop AU that i started a couple of months back, but never had the motivation to write lol

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think i have a strong grasp on characterization, which is something that people have often told me, and which is probably the most important thing to me while writing fic

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i'm...not Great at writing long fics xD most of my fics are less than 5k, and i have only a handful that have gone beyond 10k. i'm still struggling with the commitment and skill it takes to write a long fic

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i haven't tried to write in anything other than english, so i wouldn't know

19. First fandom you wrote for?

i think it was some anime fandom back when i was still going through that phase, but i barely remember it now

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

my most recent fic, but i can see all along, love (it was you all the way down)! this fic is my baby and i poured so much into it, and the response to it has been so heartwarming :)

i don't know who's already done this, but no-pressure tagging: @tawaifeddiediaz @hattalove @henswilsons @messyhairdiaz @eddiebabygirldiaz and anyone else who wants to do this!

[neondiamond]

✨ Twenty Questions for Fic Writers ✨

Thank you @disgruntledkittenface for tagging me! I always enjoy this kind of tag games! 🩷

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

57

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

259,349 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

One Direction

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I’d Walk Through Fire For You (Just Let Me Adore You), Sounds like love to me, Find Me in the Kitchen, Sweet like candy, and On Thin Ice

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, I do my best to answer all comments I receive, because they truly make my day every time I get one, and I want readers to know I appreciate them. ❤️

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

...

none? I seem to be incapable of writing anything but happy endings…

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Now this I'm good at lol. Happiest is hard to pick though... maybe Here You Come Again? I feel like the angst that comes in the middle makes the happy ending even sweeter with this one.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

It's happened once or twice that I’ve gotten a mean comment on a fic, yeah, but not regularly. I've also gotten a few comments I would qualify as stupid specifically on my ace fics, though I think those are coming from a place of ignorance more than from a place of hatred (or at least that's my hope...)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do sometimes write smut, but not very often, because I find I have to be in a very specific mindset to do it that doesn't come often, and frankly because I don’t think I’m very good at it. But when I do write smut, I write whatever kind I feel will fit best into that fic.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've never actually written one!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes! One of the Christmas fics I wrote last year was stolen and posted on AO3 for a different fandom. 🙃 The person had simply changed Harry and Louis’ names to different characters... Someone pointed it out to me in the comments and it got taken down.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! My Ace Omega Harry fic series was translated into Russian earlier this year.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Predictably, Larry. I love reading other pairings, but as far as writing goes, I think Larry will always remain my favourite.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I've been meaning to write a sequel to Chasing Feelings where Harry and Louis get to work together again, but I keep getting distracted by other ideas and at this point I'm not sure when or if it's actually going to happen lol

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I'm quite good at portraying feelings and emotions, even in few words.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Long fics feel kind of impossible to me, and i don’t think I’m the best at writing dialogue either.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've never done it myself, just because I don't think I've ever written a fic where a character spoke another language, but I don't mind it when reading. It can be fun to try to decipher it sometimes.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

One Direction

20. Favorite fic you've written?

If you ask me the same question tomorrow, I'll probably have a different answer because my favourites change all the time, but a recurring one has to One for the Books. I just love writing Christmas fics and this one feels extra cosy to me.

Tagging: @onlythebravest @crinkle-eyed-boo @sun-lt @homosociallyyours and whoever else feels like doing this!!