#love to see how everyone draws the sillies ... i wish i could paste it all on my wall but i dun have a printer

[vacalimpia]

everytime there's new fanwork of re:kinder an angel gains it's wings it fills me with such joy everytime

[hgfictionwriter]

Long Distance Call

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: Jessie and you are doing the long distance thing. What's she to do when you surprise her with a fun photo?

Warning: Smut. Phone sex. Explicit language!

A/N: Based on this request.

“Alright, everyone. Settle in. We have a big game this Friday and we’ve got lots to go through to prepare. Let’s look at some footage.”

Jessie was honed in on the analysis until she felt her phone buzz in her back pocket. Coach was addressing the defenders, so Jessie took the opportunity to check.

Jessie had to stifle a gasp, nearly choking in the process as she shot straight up in her chair so aggressively that it caused the chair to scrape loudly against the floor. The noise immediately drew curious looks from the team.

“Sorry,” she offered quietly as a deep blush began to radiate off her cheeks.

It wasn’t the “Morning, baby 🥰” message that’d caught her so off guard. It was the accompanying picture of your mostly naked body that had her shook.

She’d alluded to wanting photos like this, you know, for some added inspiration while you were apart, but you’d never followed through - until now.

Jessie subconsciously cleared her throat as she settled back into her seat. It took valiant effort to not fidget and squirm as heat was now pooling in a totally different area than her face.

She chewed the inside of her cheek as she tried desperately to refocus on game day tactics, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t thinking of how she was going to get you back for messing with her. Mostly though, she thought of how she wanted to fuck you ragged until you could barely think and the only words coming from your mouth would be her name.

But she couldn’t. Not a while anyway. She swallowed her irritation and frustration. Long distance sucked.

“What was that all about?”

Janine’s overly intrigued query caught Jessie’s attention as the blonde fell into step with her as they were all leaving the meeting. Of course Janine had to inquire.

“Nothing really. A reminder came through on my phone and I thought I’d missed something, but it’s all good,” Jessie fibbed.

“Uh huh,” Janine responded, clearly not buying it, but benevolently let it go. “So, what are you up to tonight?”

“Dreaming of fucking my girlfriend silly,” Jessie thought.

“Not much. Maybe a bit more prep for the game, but I’m pretty tired, so it’ll be a low key evening,” she said instead. “You?”

“It’s date night,” Janine said with a bright smile. A moment later she offered an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I know it’s hard with Y/N so far away. How many weeks until you see her again?”

“5,” Jessie responded without missing a beat. She could even tell Janine the exact number of days if she’d asked, and there was a countdown on Jessie’s lock screen to prove it.

“It’ll go by quickly,” Janine said with dogged positivity. Jessie nodded and gave her a half smile.

“I know.”

Laughter suddenly erupted from a group of their teammates, drawing Janine’s attention away and leaving Jessie to fall back enough to find some privacy. When she was sure she was alone, she opened your text once more.

She inhaled deeply as she took in the image and a smirk tugged at her lips. She replied.

“Best text ever. Well, surprising - I opened it during analysis, btw! You look so fucking sexy. I miss you so much. I can’t express it. I wish I was coming home to you.”

She locked her screen and was about to leave when her phone buzzed again.

“That would be too much fun 😘. I wish I was waiting at home for you.”

Jessie expelled a slow, shaky breath. It was going to be a long afternoon.

By the time Jessie got home, the heat between her legs had only gotten worse. The image of you was burned in her mind and she kept replaying past times you made love and kept envisioning what she’d do to you if you were around.

She dropped her bag by the front door and immediately opened up the picture you sent.

“Fuck,” she breathed as she took you in.

She walked over to the couch and sat down heavily on it and immediately tucked a hand underneath the waistband of her shorts and into her underwear.

“Jesus,” she muttered when she felt how wet she was just from picturing you. She ran her fingers through her folds and dipped them briefly inside. The wet sounds each motion made would’ve made her blush on some occasions, but not today. She drew her fingers back and began circling her clit as she looked at your naked body.

She was releasing a heavy breath when her phone suddenly vibrated and a notification came up startling her. She drew her hand out of her shorts immediately and her heart raced until her mind caught up, realizing it was you calling.

She took a few deep breaths before she answered.

“Hey babe,” she said, still feeling hot and flustered in a couple of ways.

“Hi baby,” you greeted cheerfully. “How was training?”

“Uh, good,” Jessie said, a bit stilted in her reply as she tried to refocus. “Yeah, it was a long day, but good. How was yours?”

“The day was fine,” you answered easily. “I missed you. In case you couldn’t tell.”

“Jesus Christ,” Jessie breathed as she was brought right back to what she was doing a moment ago. “That was,” she struggled to find the words, “so hot. I was not expecting that at all. But holy shit - you are so sexy.”

“Yeah? Well, I have to make sure you miss me, too,” you joked.

“No challenge there.” Jessie breathed heavy into the phone.

“Well, if I can’t be there in person, the least I can do is give you some inspiration.” You told her in a flirtatious tone. Jessie gave a breathy chuckle.

“Mission accomplished.”

“Mmm, is that so?” You asked, a lilt in your voice. “Tell me more.”

“Um,” Jessie felt her cheeks start to warm. “You’re just super sexy.” She paused momentarily before relenting, lowering her voice unnecessarily to a near-whisper. “And I was definitely wet.”

You didn’t skip a beat. “Mm, baby. Tell me more. Did you think you were wet or did you confirm?”

Jessie blushed further. “Confirmed,” she nearly mumbled.

“God. I wish I was between your legs right now. I’d love to taste you and see for myself just how wet you are.”

“Jesus Christ.” Jessie’s voice was raspy and she fidgeted in place as the need between her legs was reignited and began to pulse once more. She cleared her throat quietly and added, “Pretty fucking wet.”

“Right now?” You asked. Jessie hummed a bit before replying.

“Maybe.”

“Ugh, baby, don’t tease me,” you told her and she responded with a short laugh.

“Excuse me? Who’s teasing who here?”

“You know, for someone who wanted nudes and finally got one, you seem to be complaining,” you joked, knowing she’d offer an immediate rebuttal.

“I’m not! I fucking loved it. And yes, I’m wet right now,” Jessie countered. She fidgeted again and went on in a hushed voice. “In fact, I was…you know, doing stuff, when you called.”

“Jesus,” you said with a sharp inhale. “Now that is the sexiest thing. Oh my god, Jess.” She could hear the satisfied grin in your voice. “Don’t let me stop you,” you went on in a soft voice. “Maybe I can even help you.”

“Yeah?” Jessie asked, shifting her jaw subconsciously and very intrigued now. “How so, baby?”

“Imagine it’s my hand between your legs. Lower the phone and let me hear how wet I make you,” you instructed.

Jessie grit her teeth, eyes rolling into the back of her head already at the events that were unfolding. She gave you want you wanted; lowering the phone and dipping her fingers back through her slick folds. Her arousal was obvious right away.

She held the phone back up, but began to circle her clit.

“Holy fuck, Jessie. That was so incredibly sexy. I’m aching for you - I need you so bad.”

“Fuck, baby,” Jessie breathed, a lazy smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She rubbed her clit with a firmer touch and rocking her hips up in slow gyrations. “I was so wet at training too just thinking about what I’d do to you if you were here.”

“Baby, please, tell me,” you pleaded. You heard her chuckle softly, but you detected how her breathing grew heavier in your ear.

“Only if you’re a good girl,” Jessie smirked. “Touch yourself for me. Two fingers - tracing around your clit and between your lips. Dip them down until you can tell me how wet you are for me.”

“Oh my God.” You nearly panted. Jessie often took control in the bedroom, but you hadn’t explored this facet of it before. Hearing her speak like this was unexpected, but so sexy. You did as you were told and moaned softly into the phone. “Baby, I’m dripping wet,” you told her as you drew your fingers back up and the tips were covered in your juices.

Jessie groaned into the phone and bit her lip.

“Just what I like to hear,” she affirmed as she continued to rub circles around her swollen clit. “God, I miss fucking you.”

You groaned in need and agreement as you continued to run your fingers through your lips and grazing your clit. “Me too, baby. My fingers and toys just aren’t the same.”

Jessie breathed heavy as a satisfied grin crossed her face. “Damn right they’re not.” She moaned faintly as her hips bucked against her hand. “If you were here, I’d have you on your back, legs on my shoulders as I pin you down, and I’d be knuckle deep in you.” She dipped her fingers inside of herself and her eyes fluttered shut. “God, I can feel your cum all over my fingers. And you know I love the way you start to pool around my knuckles and in my palm.”

“Jess,” you panted. “Oh my god. Keep going. I love the way you fill me up. The way you fit perfectly inside of me, stretching me just right.”

“Fuck, baby,” Jessie breathed as she went back to rocking her hips against her fingers on her clit. “You’re perfect for me. I’d be stroking you hard and deep. I’d be pumping my whole body against yours I’d be fucking you so hard. The bed would bang against the wall every time I bottom out inside of you, pushing you deeper into the mattress.”

“Oh god, Jessie, you fuck me so good,” you praised. You could vividly picture the prideful and smug look on her face and it turned you on even more.

People loved talking about how humble Jessie was. But when it came to fucking and pleasing you, there was nothing humble about her. And frankly, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I love when you say my name,” Jessie said, her voice growing strained as her breathing continued to pick up. She grinned once more. “But I love it even more when you scream it.”

You moaned loudly into the phone, letting your head fall back as you rubbed your clit harder and faster.

“So make me,” you challenged her.

Jessie groaned, biting her lip again, her back arching off the couch. “I love you so much,” she breathed with a laugh of appreciation. “Baby, you know I’d be hitting your sweet spot with every stroke. I’d be making sure that every time I fill you to the hilt I’m sending a wave of pleasure through your whole body. My thumb’s on your clit, circling and rubbing it. And after I kiss you deeply, my lips hard on yours, I’ll kiss your neck.

“I won’t mean to suck on your skin too hard, but feeling you buck and writhe beneath me, moaning in my ear as I pump in and out of you makes me fucking feral for you. Like I can’t get close enough or love you hard enough. I mark you, but I don’t feel so bad about it because that’s how much I want you, to the point where I can’t control myself.

“When you moan as I latch down on your neck, I push a third finger inside of you. You wrap around me tightly, but you’re so fucking wet I just slip in. Feeling your walls grip me and pulse around me as I move nearly sends me into a frenzy.”

“Jesus Christ, Jess. I’m so close,” you warn her, your voice high and faint.

“I can feel your body start to tense up. Your legs start to shake and your breath quickens as I continue. I curl my fingers inside of you, relishing each punctuated moan you release each time I make contact. Your arousal is pooling on the sheets now as I’m driving my hips into you. I’m absolutely soaked because of how sexy and beautiful you are beneath me.”

“Holy shit. Jessie.” Your eyes screwed shut and her name was loud and strained as your climax hit. “I’m cumming.”

“Umph,” Jessie moaned as she bit her lip. “Baby girl. So fucking hot,” she said as she bucked her hips against her fingers which desperately rubbed her sensitive clit. The tightening sensation deep in her core built rapidly as she heard you cumming in her ear and she envisioned your body against hers.

A tight groan worked its way up Jessie’s throat as her core began to pulsate. Her hips jerked against her fingers as she brought herself over the edge.

You both whimpered and breathed heavy into the phone as you rode out your joint orgasms. Jessie’s chest heaved up and down and she slumped into the couch, her underwear thoroughly soaked through and too lazy to remove her hand from them. She could barely hold up the phone and had yet to open her eyes. Eventually, you spoke.

“Babe. That was insane. And totally incredible,” you relayed in pure appreciation and admiration. “You’re amazing.”

Jessie chuckled languidly, slowly opening her eyes.

“Amazing what one can do with a great muse.”

You laughed. “Well, I have to say, long distance may not be quite so unbearable if we have repeats like this.”

“I’ll take care of you, baby,” Jessie assured you. “You send me fun photos, and I promise I’ll take good care of you. Deal?”

“Deal.” You agreed with a breathy laugh.

“For real though,” Jessie started, “I really miss you. I love you, you know that, right?”

Again, you chuckled. Of course you knew. And you knew how lucky you were too.

“I know, baby. I love you, too. And I miss you more than you know.”

[darkeraurora]

Admissions - Chapter 11

VERY NSFW - Word count: 8638

Ch 11 of ??

First of all, thanks to everyone who read, liked, and reblogged the previous chapters!!

This isn't quite what I wanted it to be, but we're moving and life is about to get really hectic. So I didn't want to wait months longer to post this. I'll probably go back and add to it later after our move. Make it jucier.

The corridor outside was bustling with people heading to their barracks for the night. Simon, for once unperturbed by their racket, paced the length of their room while he waited for Sereza. The Brit kept sneaking little peeks at the drawer of his bedside table, then over to the door, and back again.

Internally he fought to maintain his resolve that his past wouldn’t interfere with him showing Sereza how much he loved and desired her. Not anymore. But unpleasant memories were especially loud in his head tonight. The past had already robbed him of so much, and Ghost was trying his damndest to draw the line at it threatening to take Sereza and this chance at happiness from him as well.

Still unnerved and his stomach twisted into knots, but he kept repeating Sereza’s words in his mind: he had her full permission to touch her as he wished but also, he didn’t have to force himself into anything physical to keep her love.

Rationally Simon knew he had nothing to worry about; they were both looking out for each other just like she had said some time ago. He was her priority just like she was his.

Ghost just had to argue with his trauma-ravaged brain about the whole thing first. That obstinate fucker.

Walking over to the small table, Simon opened the drawer and pulled out his black bandana. The fabric slid through his fingers, catching occasionally on the rough edges of tiny scars and callouses. A bit of silver in the drawer caught the Brit’s eye. One of her earrings. She hadn’t wanted to sleep with them still on last night and this morning she’d run off in a hurry after being paged, so they remained in the drawer. Dwarfed in his hand, Ghost held one of the small jewels.

The tiny thing a physical reminder of her that calmed his racing mind. He exhaled deeply. The suffocating weight of his anxiety and apprehension gradually ebbed.

He could do this.

XXXXX

“Remember your safe word?”

His beauty nodded, “Gummy bears.”

After some snickering on both sides over the word’s silliness, Simon laid the blindfold over her eyes and secured it behind her head. Ghost searched what he could see of her expression for the smallest indication of reluctance or unease, but found only a bit of tightness in her body language. Nothing more. “You alright Love?” he checked, sliding his palms down to her shoulders. Sereza didn’t hesitate to give him a nod and a small smile in response to his question. Once more Simon found he was thoroughly humbled by the amount of trust his girlfriend was showing she had in him.

But Ghost stood rooted to his spot as he regarded her. A feeling of deep dissatisfaction enveloped him.

This was wrong.

The Brit sighed unhappily and reached back behind her golden curls, gently tugging the bandana off again.

He was met with a very confused look. “I can’t do this,” Simon shook his head. “This, I mean,” he quickly clarified, gesturing with the bandana before flinging it onto his desk. “For a lot of reasons but mostly it’s… I hate the idea of you forcing yourself to do something you might not want to because of me. And I can’t- I can’t handle the thought of making you feel like a body I’m just… using.”

Sereza rested her palm under his jawline. “You love me, right?” Ghost nodded without hesitation. “Just like I love you. I’ve never felt anything but safe with you Si, but if that feels wrong to you then we won’t do it,” Sereza smiled up at her ghost with an expression of pure adoration. “You really do have a beautiful heart Simon.”

Ghost cupped his hands around Sereza’s face as he leaned down to kiss her. Relishing how it felt to be like this with his little one. To be loved. Wanted. “You are everything good in my life. And if I’m going to show you how much I love you then I want to do it the right way,” Simon told her fervently before taking her lush lips in another ardent kiss.

Her small moans and warming body were already making his blood rush. Not toward his brain.

Rather quite the opposite.

Simon pulled Sereza’s hips snuggly against him as they deepened their kiss. Her back sensually arched into him. But as it often did with everything else, his mind decided to ruin the moment by interjecting an itty-bitty detail he hadn’t thought of until now…

“Fuck!” Ghost snarled as he whirled around away from her.

“What’s wrong?”

Simon ran his hand over his hair in aggravation as he turned back to Sereza. “I hope this doesn’t come across wrong, or like I’m fucking stalling – because I’m not; or not trying to at least– but… I don’t have condoms… and I don’t want to uh, uh…”

“…to get me pregnant,” Sereza finished for him.

“Mhm,” the Brit replied sullenly. This made him sound, again, like he only wanted to use her body to satisfy his needs and didn’t know how to communicate what he meant without sounding like a complete asshole. Simon’s mind began racing at the growing tension within him, making it that much harder to put his thoughts into words. “I don’t want to cause something that will impact your life and career like… that… Not that I wouldn’t be there!” he hurriedly explained, “I-I would, it’s just-”

“Si,” the petite female tried to interrupt.

“-Fucking hell Love, I don’t know how to say what I mean properly, I just don’t think that’s a good idea right now-”

“Simon,”

“-not for either of us. And I’m not a good choice for… for that anyway. I know I fucked up and I should’ve thought of condoms. I’m so sorry, but I promise I’ll fix this-”

“SIMON.” Ghost’s rambling finally halted at her shout. With a guarded expression, he stared down at her like he was expecting an excoriating scolding over his mistake. Sereza picked up his hands and held them between their chests. “First of all, take a breath mi amor.”

Huffing out a held breath, Ghost forced his shoulders down from under his ears. Again. He couldn’t believe he forgot about those. The possibility of… tonight’s events… had his thoughts flying through his head in a hundred directions at once, so much so that he’d completely forgotten about protection. What in the bloody hell was wrong with him?

Actually… he didn’t want to think about that just now. That was a long list.

“Si… I’m on the pill. Not for, um, this exact reason; it’s to better regulate my hormone levels. I’ve been on it for about three years.”

“You are?”

“Yeah,” Sereza said as she pulled a small white plastic case from her pocket. Simon glanced down at the case she showed him with tiny pills rattling around inside. “I was actually just about to interrupt things to tell you that before we went any further – if you still wanted to try tonight, I mean,” she hastened to add.

“Oh. I see.” So… he hadn’t ruined it. They could still-

Ghost exhaled, letting his head hang as he closed his eyes, the last remnants of his momentary panic fading away. Good god he was a mess.

Sereza giggled slightly at his evident relief, Simon soon joined in with her, resting his forehead on top of hers. “You don’t need to apologize for mistakes or things that aren’t your fault mi amor. And I’m not ready for a baby either,” his beauty went on to say. “Maybe one day, but not right now. We can discuss little Simon Rileys another time, but for tonight our focus is us, yeah?”

‘Little Simon Rileys’… warmth filled Ghost’s heart. “…Yeah,” he agreed, smiling down at the face of his love. The unbidden image of Sereza pregnant with his baby, himself as a father, flashed across his mind’s eye and Ghost had to admit, he wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea… one day. Maybe.

‘One day’ just didn’t need to be nine months from tonight.

He’d never envisioned his future before or entertained the idea much. The Brit had just been existing until he met this woman who brought meaning to his dark life. And building a family hadn’t crossed his mind at all. However the thought of planning for the future – a future together – with the woman he treasured felt so… natural.

“You’re right Love, another time.” Simon bent his head down, kissing his beauty and feeling immeasurably grateful for her ability to break him out of a spiral. Holding her tenderly, he kissed her harder, appreciating her taste. Sereza tilted her head back to give him better access to her mouth while his large hands wandered down, tracing the contours of her chest, to grasp the hem of her shirt. After a quick glance back at her making sure she was alright, Ghost carefully tugged it up over her head. Dark eyes focused on the black lace bra concealing her from his view. Not wanting to pounce on Sereza like some lust-driven arse, his fingers skimmed over her shoulders, across her collarbones, and up the column of her neck. “You’re so stunning,” he whispered against her as he leaned down to kiss her forehead, “Can I take it off?”

Sereza nodded but guided his hands behind her this time as she pressed closer to his chest. Curious at what his love was showing him, Simon peered over her shoulder.

Bloody hell, did all of these things have such absurdly tiny hooks? And did they all fasten in different places?

It took an annoyingly long time with his wide fingers but at last the hooks came loose. Straps hanging loosely around her figure, Simon ran his palm up and down her bare back as he nibbled her ear. Dainty hands pulled needily at his sleeves. Soft breaths of satisfaction reached the Brit’s ears. The feel of her skin, her scent, and sounds… his little one was already inundating his senses and he only had her half-naked. Barely, even.

Sereza shrugged the straps off her shoulders and let the bra drop to the floor. Feeling her movement, Ghost gazed down at her unclothed chest, exploring hands eagerly getting to work as he gently kneaded. Twisting the dusky peaks, making her moan louder for him. Without removing his hands from his beauty, Ghost backed up until he could sit on the edge of the bed. Simon pulled her closer, tugging gently on the back of her thighs, until she knelt on either side of his legs. The height brought Sereza’s breasts to the perfect level. “Beautiful,” he hummed low in his throat as his mouth closed over her nipple. Sucking. Licking.

He groaned at the taste of her skin and decided it had been far too long since he last spent time with Sereza like this. Worshipping and loving her as she deserved. A whole 24 hours since he'd last enjoyed time alone with his love - an intolerable injustice he vowed to rectify once he got past this. Tonight.

Above him, Sereza began to whimper and squirm. Simon abruptly switched to her other breast, carefully closing his teeth over the firm peak and making her bitten-off moans grow louder. Left arm around her lower back to keep her close, Ghost’s right hand splayed across her thigh before venturing upward until it came to her center. Fingers grazed over the hot, damp fabric, almost making her whine. His thumb pressed to her most sensitive place.

“Ohhh God… Si…,” she panted as she pressed her hips lower, seeking more.

Sereza’s pleasured sounds overrode the traumatized part of his brain, Ghost pulled her down onto his hand, almost aggressively, fingers firmly rubbing in circles, making Sereza buck in response. He removed his hand and pressed her down onto his covered erection by her hips, breath catching at the feeling of her through the fabric of their pants. Her warmth alone was enough to make heat start building within him.

Ghost licked up her chest and neck until he latched onto her pulse point. Sucking hard. His free hand reached around her hip to squeeze her backside. Sereza began rolling her hips while her nails sunk into her Brit’s hoodie. Parting from her throat, he observed his little one. Her head was thrown back as her hips moved slowly over Simon’s, creating a delightful friction for them both. For a moment the lieutenant simply watched, mouth slightly open. Her stunning body twisted and curved as her pelvis worked against him. When her chest moved closer to his lips, Ghost’s tongue flicked against the swell. Sereza mewled and ground her center firmly over his cock.

Growling, Ghost flung Sereza onto the bed before settling over her and kissing her like a man starved. Rising onto his knees, he hastily shed his too-warm hoodie. Dark eyes hungrily took in his half-naked beauty lying in his bed and was struck by the sight of such perfection.

As well as the contrast…

Simon was a man of war; Sereza was an angel. She saved and bettered lives; all he did was end them. A harbinger of violence juxtaposed against a spirit of mercy. A dream come true, and someone’s worst nightmare. Good… and evil?

Ghost sighed inaudibly as he sunk to his elbows, averting his eyes, and dropping his forehead to her chest. Loving arms held him close. “Mi amor?” Sereza whispered as she kissed over his hair, “I’m here with you. Come back to me, my love.” Ghost snuggled into her a bit at her soft call. Letting her voice break through his thoughts.

Despite his reputation, his prowess as an elite soldier, the slightest shred of tenderness from this tiny slip of a woman and the legendary Ghost would crumble to kneel at her feet. Sereza already knew everything about him – all his flaws, faults, traumas, and weaknesses – and accepted him anyway, just as he was. Simon was beginning to understand… even believe, that in her eyes he was worth something. Worth being cared for.

Butterflies in his stomach and heart unbelievably full, Simon lifted his face and took her lips in a kiss full of profound affection. Thanking his lucky stars for this woman having come into his life.

Wrapping an arm underneath to grip the back of her neck, his cock ground against her warm core. Simulating what was to come. Hazel eyes drifted closed at the sensuous friction. “Eyes open sweetheart,” he prompted with a small shake of her neck, “Let me see you Love.”

Sereza complied, though with considerable difficulty. Simon’s rocking hips hit all the right spots, making heat pool low in her stomach and amber eyes glaze over.

A smirk drew the corner of his mouth up. “That feel good, sweet girl?” If the wetness seeping through their clothing was any indication it very much did, yet he wanted to hear her express it. Sereza’s eyebrows knitted together as she nodded enthusiastically. She clawed at his shirt with increasing fervor and without warning, Simon broke contact and sat up on his knees. Sereza bemoaned the sudden lack of his touch. The Brit chuckled at her complaining and gazed down at his love. Partially naked, wet, and her skin flushed. Waiting for him.

But his stomach was churning.

Wanting to push on rather than give in to rampant thoughts that threatened to bring everything about tonight to a standstill, Simon reached for the hem of his shirt.

And froze.

Ghost blinked hard, fighting the tunneling of his vision.

His little one came to his rescue again. “You look like you need to stop, Si. Do you?” She laid her hands over his still holding the bottom of his shirt.

Well – yes and no. While he was beginning to feel overwhelmed, Simon was also stubbornly determined to finally show Sereza how much he cherished her. Plus he was also fairly positive that if he stopped now his painful erection might actually kill him so… maybe if he slowed down some? While he got his mind right again?

Forcing down his trepidation, Simon affectionately stroked his knuckles over the soft skin of her cheek. “You’re so important to me, Sereza. I love you so much and I’ve wanted you so… so fucking badly all of this time,” he spoke, desire deepening his voice and making his accent more pronounced. “I want to be honest with you, and not keep things from you anymore. I don’t… I don’t know that I can do this, but I want to try. I just– I need to go slow. Really slow.”

She held his wrist near her face, caressing the back of his hand. “We will do whatever you say mi amor. As much or as little as you want and we will stop the second you say because you have complete control, okay?”

“…okay,” he whispered.

Sereza paused for a spell. It was obvious he wanted this, but the sheer amount of pain he held made this level of vulnerability terrifying. We need some safe boundaries. She would be crystal clear on what her ghost was comfortable with and he would know exactly where her hands would and would not go so it should, she hoped, reduce his anxiety. “Can you help me know where is okay for me to touch you?” she asked.

“Uh,” Ghost’s eyes flicked to the side. This felt weird. “Well, my shoulders and up is good. And my chest.”

“Like here?” she asked, lowering her hands down near his diaphragm.

Simon flinched away violently, “N-no…” She snatched her hands back instantly, holding them up.

He took a second; a few deep breaths, and closed his eyes. Sereza knew he’d been hung by the ribs, but she didn’t know where the scar from it was and had been precariously close to it. That was his fault; he should have told her. Simon brought her hand up and kissed it reassuringly – both for her, to show her she hadn’t done anything wrong and he was okay, as well as for himself. That it was Sereza that held and touched him this time. “Not quite that low. Please.”

“Arms?” Truthfully, Sereza already knew those were a safe, non-threatening place. She touched his arms all the time but reestablishing their safety didn’t hurt. Plus it was an excuse to glide her fingers over his tattoo sleeve, which Ghost often said was soothing to him. All-in-all, a good way to take the pressure off Simon’s mind so he could calm down.

“Yeah arms are good,” he straightforwardly answered.

“What about hips?” His little one’s hands hovered near his lower stomach without touching.

Simon’s eyes widened as he tried to discern how he felt about that one. She had touched him there before, and lower. But only twice – once while he covered her eyes and another accidentally while she was asleep. He enjoyed both instances immensely, but tonight though was altogether different. He would be fully exposed to her… someone would see and feel all of him for the first time since Roba had…

“Don’t,” Sereza finished for him quickly as she watched his abyssal eyes lose focus again.

“Yeah don’t,” he shook his head. Ghost’s gaze became hollow and his body stilled above her. A tell-tale sign he may be shutting down.

Time to try a distraction. Moving her palms over Ghost’s broad chest, Sereza purposefully skimmed over his nipples. Just barely. Only enough for the sensation to reach him through the fog.

Simon’s mind snapped back to the present. Her hands fisted into his shirt and gave the gentlest tug. “I really wanna kiss you,” she hummed, looking up at him through her lashes as she shifted closer to him.

Simon grinned, having caught onto her plan. For all the fuss that others made about how mysterious and hard to read he was, Sereza sure had an easy time of it. Effortlessly hauling him from the dark recesses of his damaged mind. The heart he’d once assured Johnny was cold filled with warmth at Sereza’s actions because it showed she truly saw and understood him.

Dipping his head low, Ghost's warm breath fanned over her plump lips. “What’re you gonna do about it then?” his gravelly voice teased.

His beauty raised an eyebrow before she shocked him by tugging him closer until her naked chest was pressed flush against his and licking up his neck to his chin, pausing a hair’s breadth from kissing him as if daring him to finish what she started.

Blood rushing southward once more, Simon seized her under the jaw and crashed their lips together. Boldy dominating her mouth. Small palms roamed over his shoulders, up his neck to his nape, and down again toward his pecs. Tingles pleasantly prickled across his skin. Ghost’s chest rumbled as he sighed, “Your touch feels good Love.”

Sereza grinned into their kiss. “I like touching you,” she murmured. She brushed over his nipples again, causing Ghost’s muscles to quiver at her touch. His breath caught. “You like that?” her quiet voice asked.

“Yeah,” his husky growl responded, “Felt… it felt nice.” No one had ever touched him like that before, and Ghost didn’t think he’d like it but he was pleasantly surprised.

Carefully observing his expression, Sereza softly ran her nails over them. Simon inhaled sharply, the sensation sending a searing heat straight to his groin. Distantly he wondered what other surprises she had for him; what else she might do.

Not tonight – he could only conquer so many inner demons at one time – but perhaps eventually. An exceedingly entertaining thought.

Deciding he was more than sufficiently distracted now, Ghost pulled her small body close. “What if I touch you?” he mumbled near her ear while lightly nibbling the sensitive skin below.

Sereza caressed down the planes of his hard chest. “Mmm,” she moaned, “Yes please.”

Kissing and licking his way down her olive skin, Ghost laid her down on the bed again, working his way down to her stomach. His fingers toyed with the top of her leggings. “Can I take these off?” he asked her throatily. At her consent, Simon sat back and tugged the snug leggings down. Tossing them uncaringly behind him, dark eyes took the view of his beauty. Caramel curls fanned out around her, nude except for a single small piece of clothing, legs shut and drawn up protectively. The image burned into Ghost’s memory.

As wild as the sight drove him, Simon could sense her nervousness. Which wouldn’t do.

Warm palms rested on her knees as he took in his love’s doe-eyed appearance, the hint of blush on her cheeks. “You’re breathtaking Love,” his deep baritone whispered. Rough hands mapped her small, lithe frame as he explored every inch of her. “So fucking beautiful.” Slowly, always, giving her ample time to push him away if she wanted to stop, pushing no further until they were both ready, his battle-worn hands slid down her sides, splayed over her stomach, and hooked into the lacey edge of her panties. Simon paused and glanced back at his little one. Sereza lifted her hips, so Ghost tugged the black lace down along her smooth legs before dropping them over the edge of the bed.

Once again, Sereza’s legs pulled up close to her hips. Simon rubbed his hands over her thighs while leaving tiny kisses on her bent knees, giving her time. Feeling her muscles begin to relax, he lightly pressed against the insides of her knees, encouraging her to open for him while keeping his eyes on her for any sign she wanted to stop or was uncomfortable. His beauty hesitated only a breath of a second before relenting.

And allowed Ghost to spread her legs.

His midnight gaze adhered to the wet slit on full display for him. “Fuuuucking hell,” her ghost rasped as he at last had his first look at her, heart pounding out of his chest. “Holy fucking shit,” he breathed, the view having robbed him of most of his words. “Fuck… you’re so incredible, Gorgeous.” Attention entirely absorbed by her sex, the Brit’s hand absentmindedly dropped to the enormous bulge in his pants, palming his covered cock.

“Si?” a soft voice called to him.

Ghost’s stare immediately broke at her call. Leaning back over her, they whispered sweet words back and forth to one another, calming one another. Physician or not, it was still her first time with a man. Only when the worry left her eyes did he return his attention to her body.

“Can I make a small confession?” he asked, continuing at her murmured assent, “I’ve never… pleasured a woman before.”

“So I get to be your first?” Sereza smiled up at her ghost.

He flashed a sentimental grin back at his little one, “Affirmative sweetheart.” Lowering his face, he trailed slow, meticulous nibbles and licks down her neck. His body resting between her legs, Ghost’s mouth made its way down to her chest, lavishing warm licks from one breast to the other. Taking time to suck at each before his large hands slid down the sides of her torso as he continued to work his way along Sereza’s body. Past her ribs, her navel, before finally reaching where he’d dreamed of being for the past months.

Gripping the back of her calves gently, Simon opened her legs further. The bright pink flesh stood out against her olive skin. Open and wet for him. “God… look at you,” he rasped. "So gorgeous, so wet..."

“All for you, my love.”

Ghost let out a deep, greedy growl, “All for me.” Lowering onto his forearms, he kissed along the inside of her thighs, relishing her small noises. Continuing to coat her tan skin in wet kisses, leaving subtle petal-shaped marks in his wake, he moved closer to the flushed pink lips of her core. Palms sliding underneath to grip the sides of her hips, Ghost lightly nipped at the skin around her center. Soothing the small marks with a lick afterward, listening as Sereza mewled with each nip of his teeth.

A tentative lick up her slit.

Sereza let out a loud gasp as her body arched up off the mattress. He licked her again and was rewarded with a similar response. She was already panting though he’d hardly done anything yet.

Craving more of her reactions, Simon’s hands spread her pink lips apart and his mouth latched onto the bundle of nerves above the dripping entrance. Sereza loudly moaned at the sensation but had the presence of mind to swiftly cover her mouth.

“Jesus,” he moaned against her wet flesh, “you taste so sweet.” His tongue delved into the tight hole, “… my beautiful girl, holy fuck…” Ghost wrapped his arms under her trembling thighs, holding her firmly in place as he unabashedly ate his fill of her.

Clawing fingers of her free hand sunk into her pillow, needing something – anything – to keep her grounded while Ghost feasted on her.

The noises he coaxed from his love, her mouth-watering taste, and the squelching sounds of a woman being pleasured were driving Simon out of his mind. Making him almost delirious with need. Without slowing down in his feast, the Brit angled his lower body so he could press his raging erection against the mattress to relieve some of the building pressure. Making him groan, which in turn made his beauty’s toes curl when the vibrations radiated through her.

Lifting his head, Ghost took in Sereza’s heaving chest and curls tousled from all her writhing. Expression blissful as she panted from what pleasure he’d given her thus far.

With a deep inhale, he sat up and lifted his shirt swiftly over his head. Dropping it beside him – close by just in case his mind decided to act up again. He was absurdly appreciative Sereza still had her eyes closed for the moment. Leaning back over her, Simon cupped her face tenderly, raining small kisses along her jawline and cheek.

Sereza turned toward her ghost, nuzzling against his profile. Hands trailed up his biceps until she paused once she came to his shoulders. Honey-colored eyes, dazed and curious, opened when she felt only warm skin instead of a shirt.

His expression scarcely concealing his uneasiness, Simon didn’t dare breathe while he waited for her reaction to the feeling of his mutilated skin. ‘I will still love you and be with you regardless’ she had said. Fucking hell he hoped that was true.

Half of his brain had faith in his little one and all the care she had demonstrated for him thus far, while the other half screamed at him to put his shirt back on, convinced that his girlfriend would be as repulsed by his appearance as Simon was himself.

Sereza’s fingertips brushed across muscled shoulders, up to his jaw and back down his neck, slowing at the collarbones and feeling the countless scars of war and torture, both deep and superficial. Meanwhile her ghost was motionless. A massive unblinking statue looming above her. Clearly fighting an internal war with himself. Wrapping him in her arms, Sereza began kissing everywhere she could easily reach. Along his cheek and jaw, just as he had done with her moments ago, then over his adam’s apple and down the scarred flesh to the notch at the base of his throat. Humming appreciatively.

The static filling his mind retreated at her actions. Burying his face into her curls, he exhaled a shuddering breath and wrapped an arm across her back, holding Sereza to him in a firm embrace. Silently thanking every heavenly being in existence that his beauty didn’t hate him.

Ghost’s blood quit pounding in his ears now that his clearing mind was focused on the naked woman dwarfed below him. He could feel his shaft beginning to strain against his sweats and boxers again; the short-lived anxiety having wilted his arousal somewhat. Still supporting her back, Ghost’s other hand pinned her hips to the bed as he began to grind his cock against her core.

Sereza’s fingers found his on her hip and curled around them as she moaned. Their foreheads touched, obsidian and hazel staring back at one another, heavy-lidded, breath mingling as they began to pant from the building pleasure. “Si-Simon,” came a breathy call, “does that… feel good?” she asked. Attempting to keep him present and grounded in the moment with her.

Ghost’s eyelids fluttered closed as he nodded, breathing heavily. Eyebrows knitted together and a light sweat coated his skin from the effort of holding himself back from ramming his throbbing cock into her. The feeling of Sereza naked in his arms, grinding his sensitive erection against her heat, and listening to her voice would make quick work of him before long.

But one more thing had to go first.

After a kiss full of reverent adoration, Ghost swiftly sat up and pushed the sweats and boxers down from his waist.

Sereza gasped as the bulbous tip of his cock peeked over the waistband. Eyes widening and her mouth falling open as more of Ghost’s thick shaft was revealed to her for the first time. Several dark veins standing out against his pale skin and an impressive amount of girth. The darker head pointing at her, seemingly pleading for attention.

Her small hand reached out, pausing halfway between their bodies as she looked up at her ghost towering above her. Simon gave her a subtle nod but it didn’t seem to her that he was truly consenting willingly. But rather forced, and Sereza didn’t want him to force himself. Not through this. Adjusting her approach, her hand rested on the middle of his stomach instead, just above his navel.

Abs involuntarily flexed under her touch and Simon inhaled sharply through his nose. Abyssal irises flicked between his love’s face and her hand on his stomach as he tried to determine what she was doing, not understanding until she moved downward a few centimeters while holding eye contact with him.

She was asking permission. Giving him an opportunity to say no if he wanted. To decide for himself what happened next.

Such a considerate and caring action stunned him. Another reminder of how safe he was with his little one. Nothing would happen that they didn’t both want. Ghost sidled up a bit closer and picked up her hand from his stomach, bringing it to his lips to kiss the wrist in gratitude. “I’m okay Love,” he whispered with a small tender smile, looking down at Sereza over her knuckles, “you can touch me.”

No way Simon was turning back now after coming this far. Guiding her wrist down, he brought her hand to his cock where she curled her dainty fingers around his length. Just as he had the first time, he dropped his hand and allowed her to explore him at her own pace.

A low groan vibrated out of his chest when Sereza tightened her grip and began moving her hand up and down in a firm stroke. Half-aware, Ghost’s hips pressed forward just slightly, moving in time with her. When his sac began to tighten much too soon, he quickly and clumsily shed his clothing the rest of the way.

“Actually have… two confessions,” Simon panted, “I haven’t…” Fuck’s sake, he thought to himself, how in the hell should he phrase this? “Never, uh… finished with anyone.”

He'd seen to his partner's satisfaction, but not his own. He hadn't allowed himself to. It had been something too intimate for his mind to handle. Allowing someone to get too close. So he'd always finished it himself afterward.

Sereza’s bright eyes only shined back at him with all the love they always held. Never holding any judgment. Simon breathed a bit easier now that she didn’t appear put off by his admissions. “You’re the best thing I never knew I needed, and I don’t wanna do anything to risk losing you so… think about what you want when it’s time for… that.”

“You won’t lose me. Ever. But what about you? What do you want Si?”

Ghost shook his head and groaned again at a particularly pleasant stroke. “Doesn’t matter what I want,” he replied contrarily, looking down to watch her hand stroke him.

A conditioned response, she knew, and one she wasn’t letting go this time.

“Simon,” he stilled at her tone and looked back into amber eyes. “What you want absolutely matters. Especially right now. You have a voice in this too so please tell me, amor, what do you want?”

What I want matters… the Brit silently repeated to himself.

Repairing all the damage from his past was arduous work, but Simon was learning that it was far easier when he listened to what his other half told him. He gulped, suddenly feeling oddly… shy… about what he wanted to say.

Though he’d sooner go jogging through a minefield than admit that out loud.

“I want,” Simon began, “…to finish inside,” he muttered, carefully scanning her features for signs of disgust. But it was the truth. He wanted the complete experience with her. Only with her.

“Inside?” Sereza asked.

Her ghost nodded almost imperceptibly with bated breath. Just as his nerves were about to get the better of him, to convince him he’d offended her, fucked everything up just as his father said he would, his beauty smiled and tightened her grip, thumb running over the slit on his tip and making Simon’s body jolt pleasantly. “I'd like that,” she purred seductively even as a light pink tinted her cheeks.

Simon blinked dumbly at her a second before huffing out a breath he’d been holding. Sereza smiled brightly at his obvious relief.

Sitting upright, Simon removed her hand and peered down between their bodies, taking a moment to relish finally being between her legs and admiring his view of Sereza from his height. Naked, wet, and spread open for him. Fucking hell she was lovely like this. Before his brain could interrupt their night again, Ghost lined up the tip of his cock with her entrance. “I’ll be easy. Yell at me or… something… if you need me to stop.”

His beauty nodded and opened her legs wider to accommodate his large frame. Holding himself with one hand, Ghost brushed his weeping cockhead over her, coating it in her arousal. With his other hand, he gently played with the swollen nub to coax more wetness from her body. He began sliding his heavy length along her slit to prepare them both for his intrusion.

Sereza wrapped her arms around him. Bracing herself.

Prodding gently, Ghost grit his teeth as he began to breach the small entrance. The sensation of just pushing his tip past the outer lips was wildly sinful.

Inch by agonizingly delightful inch, Simon penetrated her hot core. “Fuuucking hell you’re tight,” he gasped as he fought her inner muscles to push further inside. He knew she would be of course, but he hadn’t quite anticipated such a vice-like grip. The feeling of her warm walls slowly enveloping him had Ghost seeing stars. “Fu-fuck, god… you’re so… fucking small. Holy fuuucking hell, uughh,” his throaty baritone vibrated throughout his chest.

His cock and brain both demanded he hurry the hell up, but Simon held himself back – by the skin of his teeth – resolutely refusing to hurt Sereza before it was time. His advances halted when his tip prodded against something deeper inside her. Something in the way. A barrier… the Brit’s eyes widened, having realized he’d reached her maidenhead. “I… I feel it… fuck,” Simon rasped.

He held still, anxious. Once he moved he would break it. The woman he loved would be his, completely and forever just as he would be hers… but Simon would have to hurt her to do it. Dark brown eyes glued themselves to amber, wordlessly pleading. He didn’t even know what for but, just – damn it, something. Some miracle that would spare them both from the pain that was coming.

Sereza’s senses snapped back to earth at the feeling of her Brit no longer moving. “Talk to me, amor,” she whispered at seeing his overcast expression, “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I-I don’t know that I can do this. When I… it’ll hurt you.”

His love smiled reassuringly while combing her nails through his blond waves. “It probably will some, but it doesn’t last very long and it’s not like what you’re thinking.”

“You’ll bleed.”

“Maybe. Or maybe not,” she said rather matter-of-factly. “Actually most women don’t. But even if I do, it’s only a little. Whatever happens Si, I promise you I’ll be okay.”

“You’re sure you want this? Me, as your first?”

Sereza pulled his head down for a deep kiss. Her fingers traced across a few scars on his face, “I will always want and choose you. Because I love you. But also, we don’t have to do this for me to still love you and stay with you.”

Tucking a curl behind her ear, he peppered small kisses across her cheeks and down her neck where he buried his face. “I love you too. So fucking much.” Holding her as close as he could manage, Ghost quickly thrust his hips forward, breaking through the barrier and bottoming out inside her.

Sereza yelped, her body stiff and trembling under him, nails digging into his back. Simon’s throat seized up at the sound of her pain. Cupping the back of her head, he screwed his eyes shut and pulled her closer to him, caging her small form within his arms as he whispered how sorry he was for hurting her. Something damp fell on his skin and Simon’s heart nearly shattered. His love was crying.

“I-I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.” He couldn’t take this, her suffering because of him. Because of something he’d done. This was unconscionably selfish of him and now he’d hurt her, just like he always knew he would. She was hurting and crying all because of him and his fucking selfish desires.

Right when he was about to pull out and call the whole thing off his little one blew out a few deep breaths and her hands eased their death grip on his shoulders. Gentle arms now held him close just as they had countless times before tonight. Chancing a look at her, Simon lifted his head, fearful of what he might see.

Brilliant hazel irises met his midnight ones. No tears or traces of pain. “I’m okay mi amor,” she smiled, continuing with soft little assurances and his favorite head scratches when her ghost still seemed rattled.

“You cried,” he whispered hoarsely, “I made you cry...”

Sereza quickly put a stop to that, pressing her fingers against his lips while shaking her head. “It made my eyes water but no Love, I wasn’t crying.” Slender legs moved against his thighs and silken muscles fluttered along his hardness, making Ghost tense and hiss through his teeth. “I’m just fine mi amor, I promise. But could you maybe start slow? You’re kinda… big,” Sereza finished with a small laugh and raising her eyebrows.

Blood pounding in his ears, Ghost nodded at her request. Whatever she wanted. Anything in the world, just as long as he didn’t have to see or hear her in pain ever again.

Only now, with his beauty calm, could Simon relax again and focus on the feeling of being sheathed within her body. The Brit couldn’t recall ever feeling anything so exquisitely perfect. All his dreams and fantasies didn’t do the goddess beneath him any justice at all. “You’re so beautiful,” he rumbled, each and every muscle in his body taut. “All the time but… especially like this. So gorgeous. So warm…” The hot walls flexed and hugged around his cock as if unsure whether to force him out or draw him in further. A sensation that made his erection throb excruciatingly and compelled him to begin moving. “You-you’re so wet… god… you feel so fucking good.”

Simon kissed her lips with all the passion he could as he embraced her small frame tighter. “You’re mine now. All… mine,” he growled, accentuating his words with the first movement of his hips. “I love that no one else has seen you like this, that no one has… been inside you. They don’t… get to have you,” Simon wheezed while he unhurriedly pumped in and out of her. Moving slowly as she’d asked. His love’s head pressed back against the pillow with a moan as Ghost drove his cock in. Filling and stretching her, forcing her body to open up for him. Each movement both gentle and intense. Knocking stilted breaths from her lungs with every snap of his hips against hers.

“Simon…,” Sereza whimpered between small uneven gasps.

The Brit hissed through his teeth. “Say it again,” his gravelly voice demanded.

“Simon…,” she bit down on her lip, “S-Si… more… please…”

Ghost stared. Did she just… beg?

Ohhhh he liked that.

Taking her lips in an ardent kiss, he picked up his pace. Feeling only too happy to oblige. His love groaned into the kiss. When the need to breathe forced them apart her mouth drifted over to his neck, just below his ear, before working its way down to his shoulder. Ghost’s heart began to pound. He increased his pace a bit more. Jostling her small frame and making her whimper against his neck.

Bloody hell she was responsive. While they drove him magnificently irrational with lust, Ghost didn’t particularly care for others hearing Sereza’s sounds. Those belonged to him. Only him. Combined with her working on his neck like she was, and how wonderful she felt wrapped around him, was bringing his orgasm on sooner than Ghost wanted. He wouldn’t allow himself to finish until his beauty did.

Removing her from his throat, Simon placed his palm over her mouth. “This okay?” Sereza nodded frantically back at him with bleary eyes. A look that made his cock throb. “My good girl… All… mine,” he ground out, punctuating his words with a hard thrust that made Sereza groan deeply and squeeze around his shaft. A low, carnal growl from Ghost’s chest shuddered through them both. “You like that do you? Like being my good girl?” Another strong squeeze at his words stole his breath, “Holy fuck, ugh!... I love feeling you clench around me like that.”

Restraint gone, Ghost’s pace and force increased.

Sereza’s thighs began trembling against his hips, telling him she was already close. His heavy sac began to draw up tightly; he wouldn’t last any longer either. Slipping a hand between their sweaty bodies, Simon began rubbing her sensitive flesh, causing her to wildly thrash from side to side. “That’s my sweet girl. Let me feel you… come for me, Gorgeous,” Ghost commanded as he lengthened his thrusts, every roll of his hips catching her sweet spot perfectly. “Be a good girl… come for me sweetheart.”

Dazed amber eyes rolled closed as her spine bowed off the bed while she cried out beneath his hand. Molten-wet walls clamped down on his shaft, causing heat to explode within his veins. Liquid fire shot through his every nerve and down through his cock as he buried himself to the hilt. Groaning loudly through bared teeth at each pulse. Giving a few small thrusts as he came.

Behind his eyelids, Simon’s vision flashed white at the intensity of emptying himself inside the woman he loved. A feeling closer to paradise than anything he’d experienced before. The gasping lieutenant withdrew slowly and sat back on his heels as he held Sereza’s knees apart to look down between her legs at his semen seeping out of her slit.

Holy shit!

A sight that would have made him come a second time if he’d had any left in him.

His woman, lying naked in his bed and looking thoroughly pleasured because of him, had Simon feeling ridiculously proud of himself. As well as ridiculously in love. Slinking back up her tired body, Simon’s thumb brushed over her lush, parted lips before he tasted her sweet mouth once more. “God how I love you Sereza,” he sighed once pulling free from her lips.

“Mmmm… Yo también te amo, amado mio.”

Still winded from his orgasm, Simon chuckled weakly. “English, sweetheart,” he playfully groused.

Sereza mumbled random nonsense as she furrowed her eyebrows, trying to switch her brain back over. “I love you too, my love,” she murmured, finally able to string enough thoughts together to form an intelligible sentence.

“Say it again? The ‘I love you’ part?”

“Te. Amo,” she enunciated carefully.

“…Te amo,” Simon tried. Sereza tiredly nodded at his attempt. “Te amo,” he repeated confidently. If she had learned his language then it was only fair that he should learn at least some of hers. It also felt right that his first phrase was ‘I love you.’

“Sí, perfecto,” she praised with a peck on his cheek.

"Te amo Sereza, um… so much.” Sereza burst with giggles and Simon couldn’t help joining her, the melodious sound heaven to his ears and a balm to his soul.

“M-muchísimo,” she corrected, despite her giggle fit.

XXXXX

Sereza sighed softly as she woke up in her Brit’s embrace. Laying still for a moment as she relished the feeling of Ghost’s naked body spooned against her own unclothed one, arm draped over her waist and curled up by her chest. Even in his sleep, the massive arms held her both lovingly and protectively.

After some careful maneuvering, Sereza managed to turn herself around to face him. Between the weight of his arm and trying to not wake him, it was slow-going, but fortunately her ghost remained fast asleep. Idyllically handsome in the early morning sunrays coming through his window.

Tilting her gaze up, Sereza admired his peacefully sleeping face, his strong jawline, and how the morning sun hit his features just right. Simon deserved every moment of peace he could get; he’d more than earned it in her opinion. Honey irises scanned his broad chest as it steadily rose and fell with Simon’s quiet breaths, taking in every scar, every evidence of a past he’d fought to escape until she landed on the large scar at the bottom of his rib cage. The mangled gash left behind by the hook he'd been hung from, many shades darker than his alabaster skin. A reminder of unfathomable pain that stood out in stark contrast to the rest of him.

“It bother you?” a velvety baritone rumbled from above her.

The feeling of her breath hitting his exposed skin had woken him and he found her staring at the scar from where he’d been hung. Simon’s fear resurfaced tenfold as he watched and waited for her answer.

Sereza met his guarded, unblinking eyes staring back at her from where he still rested on his pillow before she turned away and pressed her lips against the middle of the scar. Trailing lingering kisses over the full length of the old wound.

Ghost couldn’t breathe or look away.

His little one showered the same attention on every scar she found as she kissed a path up to his mouth. “I love you Si. You, all that you are and just as you are.” Sereza knew it would take time for her Brit to believe those words, to let them replace the toxic words of his father and his own self-hatred, and she silently promised Ghost she’d be always there to remind him, no matter how many times he needed to hear it.

Cupping his face lovingly, they kissed with all the tender affection they could summon. She sighed against his lips once their kiss wound down, “Good morning Si.”

“Mm, yes it is,” the Brit smiled back as he caressed her bare back, loving the feeling of her naked body pressed against his own nude one. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you last night, did I?”

Sereza shook her head and smiled beatifically down at her ghost, “I’m wonderful. Just a bit sore is all.”

Being a virgin, Simon knew she would be, especially with how small she was compared to him, but it didn’t stop guilt from brewing. “What about you?” Her question drew Ghost away from encroaching dark thoughts, “How do you feel after last night?”

Simon pulled Sereza in for another long kiss. “Amazing, Love.”

XXXXX

It physically pained Ghost to watch Sereza’s divine figure disappear as she dressed, but responsibility called. The military still wanted things done, and regrettably they couldn’t spend the entire day naked in bed – no matter how much they both wished to.

For him, there were new operatives to train and his little one had patients to see. Not much either of them could do about it except sneak a quick goodbye kiss and go their separate ways down the corridor.

Ghost rolled his blackened eyes at the recruits’ ineptitude. He understood they were new and learning but good god climbing a half-wall should not be this fucking difficult.

His pocket vibrated and the Brit fished out his phone. Lucky for the recruits, the other lieutenant would have to handle them. A text from Price lit up the screen:

Need to talk to you. My office in 10. And bring your lady.

A towering skull mask opened the captain’s squeaky door and stood aside for the petite female to enter.

“Some… comments… were made to me about you two.” Price was speaking seriously and Sereza felt her chest become tight. Was the captain about to forbid Ghost from having a relationship with her?

Her own commander couldn’t care less about relationships as long as everyone still did their job and there wasn’t any drama, but had someone higher up in the SAS found out and ordered Price to intervene? Ghost was a valuable asset; did they not want him distracted or encumbered by a relationship? That would make sense…

Internally her every fiber began preparing to fight for him. No matter who or what rank she had to go up against, she would not give up Simon.

Perfectly attuned to his little one, a large comforting hand discreetly grazed across her lower back.

“You’re being moved,” Price said to his lieutenant. “Effective immediately.”

[softdykellie]

ੈ✩‧₊˚ motion sickness part ii | ellie w.

previous part here | next part here soon

PAIRING: modern!ellie x fem!reader

SUMMARY: having grown up together, everyone knew eachother in jackson. when a brooding newcomer owner to a tattoo shop comes along apparently charming her friendly florist neighbor things seem to take a turn.

WARNING: alternative universe! purposefully all lower case. multiple part series. not a very eventful beginning as ellie’s relationship with reader is slow burn but it will start evolving after this one seriously trust me!

WORD COUNT: 632

ellie. you tasted her name on your tongue and melted into the feeling, flushed. dina had certainly manifested her wishes into fruition, you thought. stared at the girl for way too long, getting familiar with her features and vacant gaze towards the alcohol filled shelves against the main bar wall, freckles like starry war paint, eyebrow scar, pale green iris, peach pink lips, auburn hair gently brushing her shoulder at length. breathtaking, you immediately named the feeling, but she looked worn, tossed around. you blamed it on the bruised eye, caught onto sky grey vibes.

a silly game blossomed into your heart years ago, the inspiration for your flower shop really: how everyone you meet could be described by the floral language. dina thought hers too common, but it was your favorite, a daisy, standing for loyal love and “i’ll never tell”. jesse, a white jasmin, sweet love, amiability. even abby, coriander. you did not know the girl at all, but you saw red carnations grow behind her in the way spiritualists would claim to see auras. red carnations; “my heart aches”.

“flower shop girl, yes, that’d be me”

“cute” she mumbled sipping on the beer dina had given her before promptly pretending to be busy elsewhere though noticebly eavesdropping.

“you’ve got a lot of tattoos on you” jesse pointed matter of factly, earning a chuckle “perks of the job?”

“the job” ellie repeated his words in light humor as if minimizing her own career with the sound “yeah, i guess. you want one?”

“fuck, yeah! maybe a dragon up my back or or you know a snake, i don’t know, what do you usually draw?”

“pretty things” she answered before taking you off guard with a head movement that pointed you out amongst them all “like her” she twisted her body around to meet your face “what would you get, flower girl? roses?”

“the sun” you answered “what does that say about me?”

ellie smiled a weak smile, raising the sleeve of her grey t-shirt to expose a beaming sun by her bicep, detailed sad expression in black ink across its center. you took notice of everything. ferns and a moth grew from her hand to the very end of her forearm and covered scars you could only assume to have been self inflicted. a sword pierced through the spare space of skin next to a phoenix and finally angel wings alongside a well hidden initial: J. you wouldn’t ask, but you wanted to.

“trying to figure that out myself”

you hadn’t noticed when abby left, only that she was gone when a couple dollars slipped past you towards the ground from the countertops, extra tips for dina. you wanted her extroverted ways to carry the conversation, ask the newcomer about the altercation, but she seemed to enjoy playing dutiful dedicated owner more. small talk failed you, and ellie was uninterested.

you planned out your next meeting in your head, showing up with cookies as they do in the movies, catching glimpses of her sketches on the wall, giving them backstories to fill the gaps. it wasn’t so strange to be eager as you were taking into consideration how rare these opportunities had presented themselves: you never left jackson, not even on vacation. the world was meant to turn on its axis but you were destined to stay still, an agoraphobia rooted into your veins like movement would burst your chest open, bloody and broken. the flowers had been a therapist’s idea: to take care of something innocent as a purpose, exist outside the shell of a body you painfully cared for in pure obligation. your personal garden arsenal though, had meaning. yellow tulips, that’s what you were. the flower for unrequited love. the one tattooed by ellie’s hipbone you were yet to see.

[correctproseka]

So @queer-prosekai told me to do my own top 10 list of the sets + my favorite card of each, so here's some rules i set for myself

1- i have to REALLY like the full set, not just really like a card but a little less to the others (cough Saki in no seek no find, for one example. Though other sets have also triggered this rule)

2- i also am judging by card only, not the story, however. I am not completely good at this because a lot of the cards that are already good get to be way better because of the event behind it.

3- only counting the trained cards, not untrained, it would be a very different list.

ANYWAYS. LIST STARTS NOW:

10: LIGHT UP THE FIRE

Oh my poor child are you okay??? Going past how much i like this event. Which would get me here writing for hours mind you. I also just really like the set. The dark colors and the fact that in all 3 cards you can barely see color- its black and then each has their own color showing up, An has red, Toya has blue and Rin has white. It just gives a fucking impact on you looking at them. Would not change a thing, really.

9: WISHING TO THE BLUE SKY FOR YOUR HAPPINESS

Anyone else remembers qhen this set just totally broke us? Oh my god. I do. Shizuku in a suit. An in this pretty ass dress. I just cjsjcjsmcjsncjdj. It was mainly those two that really hit for me, specially An. But when it hit it hit hard man

8: SMILE OF A DREAMER

It was the first lim set, so it was really simple compared to what we get now. But simple doesn't mean bad. I really love the colors and idk man i have a soft spot for it i cant defend everything my brain is a dvd logo bouncing around😭

7: HEAR ME HOPEFUL SHOW

Angel Minori is one of the prettiest sets ever, it just isnt higher because personally i like some others more, doesn't mean this shit isnt fucking gorgeous. The lightning, the setting. I love this mmj card with everyone in it bc this is such a beautiful place???? Just. Licks this set like an ice cream then cries bc i ate the pretty ass set.

6: Someday, from the depths of despair

Lowkey i did not expect this one to be this high before i made this list. But it is just gorgeous setting, gorgeous lightning. It just makes my brain go brrrr looking at it.

5- What lies behind lies ahead

The hermit set has people in a chokehold for years, and for good reason. The hairstyles are pretty, the au ideas one can get out of it are yummy. AND THE CARD THEMSELVES ARE SO CKSJFKDK. All of them having this golden thing around as if hermit was a story told to us by images. It just could be a poster. Its certainly pretty enough to.

4: Our escape for survival

Sorry for the amount of niigo here. It will happen again. Niigo never misses. Anyways i just love this set sm. The lightning, muffled colors and backgrounds just hit so fucking hard. The rain shared on the 3 cards from the set is so symbolical and so is the clock and the engines on Mafuyu's and Luka's card. It tells us a story before we even read the event and that is beautiful.

3: Close game offline

I had to skip this set and i am still sad about it. Man the the the cmsucksjcjx aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa viddygame and neon.

2- Unnamed Harmony

I like silly, your honor. I also like water. Saki's card has both /hj. No but really i just really like the outfits and colors and just everything in this set it would be a CRIME to not have this here as a Saki stan. Just look at it!!!!

1: Draw your bow in this white world

.. so, who's surprised? I can barely even find a favorite card in this set. From Kaitos . Kaito. (Does he need more?), Shizuku's gracefulness and beautifulness and Mafuyu just pretty and badass breaking the "screen"/mirror/window with an arrow. Its just soooooo ancjamvjsjchsjxncnsicjsv chomps.

HONORABLE MENTION:

Knock the future, which light up the fire took it off on a technicality (i like 3/3 cards on light up the fire and 2/3 on knock the future bc Honami is very meh compared to the others to me)

Anyways if anyone else wants to do this as a challenge id love it. And @probably-not-niigo i challenge u to do the same

[nightdreamdraws]

Hihihihi!!

I've commented on a few of your videos, both normal and httyd, but because of my fear of being perceived, I've usually kept them pretty mild.

So I thought I would come on here and politely scream at you about how much I love your art,

EBWKHEEKKWKEBEK everytime you update/post whatever I immediately feel better no matter what because your art is always so pretty and fills me with such joy! Your current httyd×hc series is SOO much fun, and something I've always kinda thought about, but never thought I would see, let alone done so beautifully! Your ability to composs a scene with so much emotion, and story in just a single DRAWING. Is. Completely. INSANE. And that's not even mentioning your ANIMATICS. Because, HOLYSHIT. Your "The Moon Will Sing" PMV is a NATIONAL TREASURE. That is. Just. Omg. AURGH it's so good I can't even TALK ABOUT IT because just THINKING about it makes me go INSANE!!! INSANEEE!! RAHHHH!

Anyway, just thought that since I can say basically whatever I want anonymously without the fear of people actually seeing me, why not come and give one of my favorite artists some WELL DESERVED praise. Your cherrifire art? Beautiful. The designs. Ommf, delicious. Your hermitcraft/life series art? Can't even explain how good it is. Ddvau fanart? Love it so much. Your httyd crossover art? EEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHE IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY. I LOVE IT ALL SO MUCH. EVERYTHING. AMAZING. BEAUTIFUL. ARGGGGGHHHHH.

...welp, I got a little carried away lol. I hope you don't mind this long "ask" (and that it's actually coherent)! Hope you get lots of nice sleep tonight, and remember to eat and drink as well! (Also.. maybe. Maybee? Could we perhaps get a hint as to who the next hermit will be? Mayhaps? No pressure ofc) <3

AWW THANK YOU SO MUCH ANON!! This probably takes the cake for one of the sweetest messages i've ever received omg thank you so much 😭💙 I am so so happy that you're enjoying my content! I am having such a blast coming up with ideas and drawing silly block people and dragons for you guys 🥹 everyone's support has been so overwhelmingly positive and i'm so thankful for you guys even giving me the opportunity to share my art with a large audience. you guys are awesome <3 i'm also so so glad you love my art style! i've had so many comments and compliments about it, and it has given me the confidence and motivation to keep doing what i'm doing, as i have been pretty insecure about my art style in the past which prevented me from posting my art for years haha. thank you guys for helping me to feel comfortable with my abilities and give me the motivation to keep improving from here! I'm so excited to make more! anyway i should probably stop yapping, cause i may or may not have an angry goat and his dragon to draw 👀 but thank you again anon for the very very sweet message and support 🫶 i wish all the same to you :)

[gildeddlily]

finally re-reading stormbringer, first post of a long list (30 photos limit go die) we stan the flags

I read stormbringer this summer, and it was something (it destroyed me and made Chuuya became my favourite character of all bsd- more than anyone else (like sigma, he's my fav in the decay of angels arc), chuuya solos everyone and you know it shut up)

so, like I did with fifteen I feel the urge to share everything cause yeah we all need to suffer more

1. We Stan The Flags

This always makes me laugh, cause Chuuya's like "yeah, it's probably the shadiest and most dangerous role I could have as a non-executive, what's so important ab it? It's cool guys I'm not better than you all" (imposter syndrome sir)

I love Pianoman. I just- I love the Flags, and I will always fantasize ab a world where they're still alive. and them bullying chuuya is my favourite trope alr.

and i just know that in a no powers au chuuya would have been the kind of teenager to befriends people older than him like ten years age gap, cause people his age just weren't for him (in an healthy way guys)

try to not think ab chuuya's inability to accept gifts and love, and just some of the most powerful men in the mafia being excited ab a silly guy (silly chuuya who's stronger than half of them(gotta write chuuya and iceman first meeting))

the... the fruitiness of this sentence is menacing so I'm gonna- just yk

the au where Chuuya takes Lippman place ad the mafia's contact with the light is so beautiful and sad. and that fic where he takes chuuya on set I'm crying stop it

canon chuuya is so mean. Like not mean, just harsh. a lot of people only sees him as someone who gets mad at Dazai and is a peace of cake with everyone else- like no? he send to hell every person he talks to and goes on with "wanna know the power of gravity" every two seconds. he's just chuuya, gotta accept him as our little mass murder with anger issues that needs to be controlled cause the Mafia boss is afraid he's gonna die if he doesn't <333

and this is so beautiful in a way. he always talks ab killing dazai and dazai doesn't help with that, only giving him more reasons to do so, and same with the flag. anger issues maybe, but is he really angry with dazai and the others? we see him really mad, and it is not a pretty thing to watch- and they all know what mad chuuya really looks like and just know when he's yes angry but not really. everyone is ready to fight, and are relieved when things dont escalate (they love chuuya so much stop please)

they comfort him in a way that is heartwarming. they don't offer him useless words or things like "don't worry you have a past and you're human", they don't beat around the bush. Pianoman's like "hey, we know you don't know if you're human, and I'm gonna be super harsh ab it cause we're in the mafia and all of that but listen kid, here we are ab to solve your existential crisis"

even Iceman, the cold blooded hitman who almost killed chuuya a couple of times and was ab to try it five minutes before this, is fucking smiling. they're so happy to help him it hurts (just know iceman called him kid at least some times. he's the real big brother and I just know it)

yes, this is the first time chuuya has real friends- not kids he has to look after and protect without receiving gratitude but just a "it's the least you can do" attitude, not whatever-the-fuck-is-going-on with dazai, just friends. they spend time sìtogether, they give eachother gifts. they're kind with eachother in the ways the know how

an chuuya doesn't know what to do, cause he has never had this type of relationship with anyone, the "give-receive" mechanism that every relationship should have. he doesn't know what to do, and I need to hug him

and then the gag we needed and something I need to draw (Pianoman definitely is the tired mom. Iceman is the dad cause yeah who other. Chuuya and Albatross the sons, Doc the gay emo cousin (what do you mean you wish to be carried by Adam sir) and Lippman the sassy aunt. just see it)

he kind of is sir (he's fucking sixteen just kill me)

something I love ab him is the fact that he's emotionally constipated but like one of the less serious one. he knows that he can be easy to read since he's very open ab his emotions (even if they understand he could just kill everyone, so), but can be serious in a way a teenager shouldn't be able to. he chooses to be so open with dazai, the flags and the people he cares about. the trust king fr

they all know he's gonna come back (and that he's crying) cause he probably wanted them to, or he would have reacted worse to getting understood so easily

and this is the trope asagiri give us so many times and the best one in the history of tropes. bad scary guys having fun with some other bad scary guys and enjoying their time together like normal people.

...kafka, my love, stop it. you were doing do good

[ryemackerel]

HALLO i was wondering how you get out of art block?? your art is very expressive and i absolutely adore all your colour choices and designs. ive been having trouble with art block for a very long time now so i’m just trying to ask other artists how they get outta it <3 i hope u have a niceday yesyes

OUGHH HELLO!!! holy crap, art block is the WORST. everytime i encounter it, its always hard to beat it D: theres days where i feel like i WANT to draw something so badly but my brain just. cant function

i dont have a definitive solution for art block, but whenever i do, i have a few ways to cope with it. sometimes they work, sometimes they dont? but whenever the time comes and im just sitting at a brick wall, i got some survival tips

1. come up with random silly ideas,, it could be anything: random words, phrases, scenarios. they can be as nonsensical as you want them to be. during art blocks, my mind is completely dry with ideas, so i always try to compile a list of ideas from the past so i can come back to them later on. i try to come up with random duos or something as simple as “mcdonalds date”. i might not work on these now, but maybe some random lil word can spark that creativity in me

heres my art ideas list… i have some ideas that are like 8 months old in there BGAHSGA, but i save em there till i feel like working on them

2. STRUGGLE DOODLES!! i like to make a bunch of doodles of random scenes that i think about in my head. doodle practically anything. your favorite person, favorite animal, something you see outside your window, frogs?

heres a few of mine. most of the time, i NEVER get to finishing them. however, during art blocks sometimes i like to go back to really old, incomplete guidelines and add some new, random addition to it. sometimes i forget what my sketches were exactly meant to be? and i guess thats the fun about interpreting stuff and giving things a new spin to them. during art blocks, i HATE trying to come up with new drawings from a blank canvas (since i dont even have any ideas to begin with). but working on old wips, or completely revising them? sometimes these can be super fun :]

[and bonus tip!! and this is like, a golden tip that everyone loves: going back to super old drawings and redrawing them!! its my favorite. i absolutely love seeing the improvement ive made over the years. its also pretty easy to work with since you dont have to stress about coming up with completely new ideas from a blank slate! GAHH i should do that more often.]

3. search up your favorite fanart, go on pinterest, anything. i love this one.

search up some really cool photos of outfits, aesthetic backgrounds?? i find myself searching up a lot of fanart of fandoms im in, any word with “aesthetic” at the end, casino aesthetic, anything! pinterest has always been my go-to platform to find ideas. i go on the app and not even a second in, im blown with all of this cool art n character designs. i have a problem saving almost everything i find into my boards, but at least i saved a chock-full of ideas i can work with. :)

a thing about me: ive never been the type to try and force my art block out. whenever im facing a block, its extremely difficult for me to come up with things on my own. sometimes i let it wait for a while, but that tends to take a REALLY long time. D: if i dont feel like drawing, or doodling, or really doing anything? i always like scrolling through really pretty photos. that tends to spark a small idea in me i can work with, and sometimes i manage to get out of art block from there. it starts out small, then over time it gets even better.

these photos especially gave me WAY more motivation than i ever had to draw wilbur during an art block moment. i started off making small random doodles of him in a neon city and over time it kinda turned into a fixation for neon cities. i LOVE imagining characters in random photos i find on pinterest.

wishing you the bestest in your art journey!! this crap’s tough but i know you can break it yo. thank you so much for the ask!

feel free to reblog and add your own ideas below :] i was only able to come up with a few, but if youd like to add on, go right ahead! /noforce

[amemenojaku]

Shinmyoumaru for the character ask prompt

I got several asks about her... thank you everyone for allowing me to go completely batshit insane

General opinion/How much I care about them: GAHHH I love her SO MUCH it's unbearable!!!! I think nowadays I wouldn't be able to say who's my number 1 favorite touhou character between her and Seija... There is a very special place in my heart for Shinmyoumaru Sukuna T_T I love the play on a classic otogizoshi (making the descendant of Issun Boushi a princess AND the ally of a horned demon at the same time is sooo good) and I love that she has this brave and regal aspect to her personality while still being a little bastard and I love her design and the atmosphere of her fight scene in DDC and her heart and everything else!!! She is cool and cute and funny god I wish Shinmyoumaru were real I have so much affection for this silly little character

A ship I love: (puts on my clown makeup) I made myself known here as a seishin artist many years ago and I'm happy to say they're still my absolute favorite pairing in the series! toxic yuri wins!! The way I see them has changed a lot over the years and thanks to the surprisingly big amount of material we got in the spinoffs and the books but at its core it's still the same... Lonely people who created unforgettable memories together and changed each other forever... And you can go so many different ways with them... But I guess my all-time favorite seishin flavor is best summed up in this unrelated quote (more people should read Fafoo):

seishin fans also manifested grimoire of usami into existence which I think is incredible enough on its own to mention

A non-romantic relationship that I love: With Reimu!!! I think we all agree that their interactions in Forbidden Scrollery were perfect and that Shinmyoumaru is an excellent addition to the Reimu solar system. There's something so touhou-ish about them living together after DDC and Shinmyoumaru sewing that small kimono as a gift for Reimu and then later hijacking the danmaku festival so bad that Reimu has to step in. Literally textbook case of Reimu dealing with another little rascal yet befriending them in the process. Speaking of I think they genuinely are good friends, not just danmaku or drinking buddies... I love to imagine their daily life together when Shinmyoumaru stayed at the shrine......

The NOTP: For better or for worse she's almost exclusively shipped with Seija which is fine by me!! I've never liked seeing her with anyone else (save for a onesided Shinmyoumaru -> Reimu crush).

My biggest headcanon about them: THERE'S TOO MANY TO LIST..... I have pages upon pages of Shinmyoumaru & kobito-related headcanons because she is constantly rotating somewhere inside my brain but I can share a few ones: her family is not only a descendant of Issun Boushi but also a descendant of Sukunahikona; none of the kobito have last names except the ruling family who takes on the most sacred one - Sukuna; there's actually a little bit of Issun Boushi's spirit remaining in the miracle mallet, he doesn't exist there anymore or anything but it's like a warmth that Shinmyoumaru can feel when she wields it.

An idea for a fanwork I would like to make/see about them: I have a lot of wips that I probably won't ever finish sadly... But I -would- love to draw some kind of comic or writing/art mix where I could include all those headcanons someday, with her past and especially a study of her relationship with the mallet

Something that makes me think of them: Hedgehogs :) and forget-me-nots!

[scruffyssketchbook]

Just a ramble

I'm uploading the entire SSEC Askblog archive to Toyhouse, and just seeing how the characters developed overtime is bittersweet, especially Dusk. The poor boy at one point was breaking down about how he misses the old askblog, and I can see why. It's pretty night and day. The askers went from asking silly questions to trying to make every character have a breakdown.

Ofc, I do realize my part to play in this, as I was the one answering these asks, but they kind of became the majority of them over time ^^; I realize that 2024 marks 10 years of me uploading SSEC weekly, and a lot of big changes are coming to the comic and the characters. Kind of scary changes honestly. A lot of people tell me they grew up with these characters, and honestly, I have as well. I had just turned 14 when I started writing these guys, and now I am like- OLD. It's so weird to know that I've been drawing this comic for almost half of my life and influenced so many people with it. I wish I could say I made a lot of friends along the way, but with my extreme shyness paired with my extreme naivety, it kind of just made it so the people I talked to constantly took advantage of me. And I suppose all of that sadness kind of bled into the comic with how the characters developed and how the story went. Sorry ^^;;

Being a bit candid here, my mental health hasn't exactly been the best. For the majority of last year I had been a paranoid mess due to a certain group of people who honestly terrify me and it didn't really help that there were still people in my life still taking advantage of me. But. The Comic was still there for me. The characters were still there!!! And you know, this latest chapter has been a joy to write. The characters are actually having fun and being friends and I've laughed so much when drawing it and- really what I want to say is that I just don't want them to be sad anymore. I want all of the characters to be friends, to be more like the eevolves characters. Eevolves's main theme is love, and all of the characters are just so cute and loving to each other and it's so nice to write. I suppose it's wish fulfilment or just me projecting the things I want to the characters, but I want things like Blizz and Vay fixing their relationship, or Dawn and Dusk showing how close they are, or Daisy and Flame just enjoying each other's company. I want the characters to communicate with each other and get into stupid funny situations more, I want to see them more happy, I want to see them overcome their sad pasts and start to heal the trauma they went through. Like, they deserve to be happy after all I put them through.

GRRAAHHHHHH!!! I DUNNO MAN I JUST WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY!!!

I WANT THEM TO FIND LOVE, I WANT THEM TO FIND PEOPLE THAT CARE ABOUT THEM, I DON'T WANT THEM TO BE LONELY ANYMORE, I WANT DUSK AFTER LOOSING EVERYONE HE LOVED IN THE PAST TO FINALLY TRUST SOMEONE, I WANT BOLT TO BE REASSURED THAT NONE OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS WILL EVER LEAVE HIM, THAT HE IS THEIR FRIEND AND THEY LOVE HIM PLATONICALLY, I WANT BLIZZ TO FINALLY BE AWKNOWLEDGED BY THE OTHERS AND THE OTHERS TO GENUINELY ENJOY HIS COMPANY, FOR HIM TO FINALLY HAVE FRIENDS THAT HE DOESN'T NEED TO HIDE THE THINGS HE LIKES FROM OUT OF FEAR OR BEING MADE FUN OF, I WANT THE EEVEES TO LIVE GOOD LIVES, I WANT FLAME TO FIND A PURPOSE IN HIS LIFE, TO STOP WALLOWING AWAY IN SADNESS AND DEPRESSION AND ADDICTION, I WANT DAWN TO REALIZE THAT HER WORTH IS NOT MEASURED BY HOW MUCH SHE IS OF USE TO THE TRAINER, THAT SHE DOESN'T NEED TO PUSH HERSELF SO HARD TO BE AWKNOWLEDGED BY PEOPLE WHO DONT ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT HER, I WANT VAY TO REALIZE THAT HE IS ENOUGH, THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE TO PROVE HIMSELF, THAT WHAT THAT ASSHOLE IN THE LAB TOLD HIM IS WRONG! I WANT MIKU TO REALIZE THAT SHE IS NOT TRASH, THAT SHE IS AMAZING AND CREATIVE AND WONDERFUL, THAT SHE IS NOT UNLOVABLE, THAT SHE DOESN'T NEED A SOULMATE TO VALIDATE HER EXISTANCE! I WANT DAISY TO BREAK HER SHACKLES AND ACTUALLY DO THINGS SHE WANTS TO DO! EVE IS EVE! I WANT THE BEST FOR MY STUPID SCRUNKLIES BUT I CANT GIVE THEM THAT BEST DUE TO ALL OF THE ISSUES!

*FLIPS TABLE*

*SCREMS*

[lightofunova]

As the year draws to a close, I find myself looking back at the past year and I just need to state how absolutely crazy it has been for me.

This blog will be one year old in January, which it’s so funny that it’s already almost been an entire year since I started posting and interacting? It isn’t the official birthday yet, but I just want to thank everyone for reading and interacting and supporting me this past year. I’ve met so many wonderful people in the community who have pushed me to want to do better, and who I want to interact witth more but my own shyness and nerves prevent me from doing so.

You all have truly spoiled me this year by allowing me to share my silly ocs and stories witth you all, and just by listening to me I am already content. Thank you truly from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to be a part of this community, for being able to create my own little corner here just to act silly.

And I have so many new friends I haven’t said a proper thank you to, for one reason or another. Maybe due to being busy or me being too bashful to admit it over late night calls or to even start a conversation in dms. Before the year is out I want to right that.

@symphonies-of-silver I know that I’m not someone who is super close, but honestly I started askblogging because of you! You made me want to do it and seeing Ginjiro and his story begin to unfold, I was inspired to do my own. I wish I could talk more with you in dms, you seem like such an amazing person and I love hearing about your ocs and ideas honestly, I’m just shy haha. I can’t wait to see what ideas you craft up in the coming year, it’s always something to look forward to.

@lustrous-dawn Gosh, I’ve always adored your writing style so much, I often find myself reading over your words and wanting to be more eloquent with my own sometimes haha. You always inspire me to write more than draw, and you’d be surprised how many little blurbs and drafts I’ve made this year about various things haha. You also showed me that, it’s alright to just do your own thing. It’s fine to just post whenever you want, what you want, and how you want. I don’t think I realized that when I started but now that the year had been ending I’m starting to realize it, even if you told me that a bajillion times over calls haha.

@askdeoxys Gosh, I don’t know what to say sometimes when we talk. You have done alot for me this year over calls and chats and games, I mean hell I wouldn’t be using a tablet now if it wasn’t for you. You really know how to cheer someone up when they’re down, and all of the conversations we’ve had this past year have been so much fun. I never thought I would be ending 2023 having accomplished so much, You egg me on to do the things that matter in life. The advice you give is always dead on, and even if I don’t listen to it it’s just because I’m a silly adult who thinks she knows better haha. Thank you for supporting me so much this year, I really do appreciate it.

@ceruleancavesmonster Golly gosh bestie, it’s been so long since we became friends, it’s wild to see how far everything has come. I know things have been busy af lately, but I can’t believe how far we’ve come! When making this I was so worried it’d be a dumb idea, but I just appreciate all the love and support you’ve shown me this entire year. From getting excited over my posts to helping me think through plot lines and ideas you really have been my biggest supporter in all of this. Just thank you so much for sticking with me through all these years, I can’t wait to see what happens next year 💙💙

And to all those I didn’t mention just know that I appreciate you more than you know, you all gave me something to work towards, something to inspire me in one way or another. Thank you so much for supporting my blog, and I hope you’ll stick around for another year in the making.

[fisheito]

friend fish!!! do you have any super specific headcanons for nucarni you'd want to post about? like from the serious to the silly. im talking from like how did little yakumo deal w humans and snakes hating him and then his grandparents loving him to who are the left handed mfs and who are the right handed mfs. how did kuya handle huey disappearing vs can garukaru wink. i like your brain and i like the very specific little things that come from everyone's brains and just wanted to see if you wanted to post any sillies or seriousies :3

why, friend anon, it seems like You are the one bursting with ideas... if u wish to share with the class i shan't object ohoho

MMM>....UUHHHHH boy ain't it just appropriate that once u hand me the microphone, my mind blanks hmmm........ ............(leaves ask and comes back in several hours)

OH I got one!! yakumo and chickens

s o one day, i wished to draw yakumo holding a chicken. just snekboi holding an absolute buff orpington orb of chicken, because it would be, how u say,... grotesquely adorable, yes??

but before i could, i wondered.. is that possible? do chickens like yakumo? or would they sense his snakeyness and hate him? was it ever discussed in the story?

my immediate thought was of those chickens who get hypnotised into a catatonic state when u draw a straight line in front of them. u know all those gifs of the chickens that just go [plop] with HARD FOCUS on the line? and as soon as line was erased, chicken blinked back into existence/Killer Peck mode?

i remember ppl hypothesising that it was bc the lines reminded them of snakes and the chickens were like shhhhh play ded the snakes will want nothing to do with us.

i can;t remember if they ever actually found the answer to that behaviour. i wish i knew. but i don't. so instead i imagined eiden placing a 🧍‍♂️yakumo horizontally in front of a chicken to see if the trance could be replicated

the whole thing made me think about yakumo's relation to animals, especially farm animals, bc idk if his grandparents ever farmed animals or if it was JUST produce. the story so far seems to say vegebls only but *I* want *FARM ANIMALS* and *YAKUMO* ***toGETHER*(*(***** so we continue the train of thought

yakumo has pulled Princess-Snow-White-shenanigans in the past (Idol Fest). those forest animals didn't have a problem rolling up to yakumo just to listen to him sing. i don't remember if exact animals were mentioned in the story, but i'mma assume it was lil guys like rabbits, birds, rodents, deer. i mean... snakes have been known to share habitats with these guys... so it would make sense for some of them to be scared if yakumo's energy is more snake>human.

but then KUYA??? he's a fox. yet he's got parades of adoring forest worshippers everywhere he goes, regardless of predator/prey status. so maybe the vibe of Yokai overrides whatever trophic chain dynamics are supposed to exist in this world. So instead of EEK! A SNAKE/FOX! the animals be like Yokai=cool nature powerbeing let's hang out ?

but then i wonder if the Yokai Vibe is moderated by Yokai expertise. bc kuya of course has way more experience as yokai... he's more likely to embrace his foxy traits than yakumo with his snakey traits (what is this.... a competition of self acceptance now??).. so maybe the animals all trail after kuya bc of his confidence,,, but would they do the same for yakumo who hasn't yet transcended to that Power Strut Aura?

which relates to childhood yakumo. to surrounding animals, what was his vibe? snakey? human? yokai? did it matter? he mentioned that the other snakes used to bully him .. and that people also used to chase him away... so his vibe was. what? like the king cobra who eats other snakes, and can bite people? at this point, it's not like yakumo has the self-control or self-acceptance to consciously manipulate his outward appearance. his vibe is his vibe.

so, in this unsure, untrained, scared snake-self stage of his life, he still appeared as a Threat to other snakes (and probably other animals that typically fear snakes). i imagine that if i were to introduce yakumo to farm animals at this point, they would react like they saw a potentially dangerous snake. chickens angy. cows might stomp u. goats might eat u

and yet Grandma and Grandpa , like many humans, promptly threw convention out the window and went [lol what threat?? he scared. let's give him some soup]] -> for further proof of ppl being like that, look at. any dangerous creature. cute as heck. i'll fawn over apex predators. angry bear incapable of empathy? deserves my respect. sure i'll share my room with a snake if it looks like it's crying . self-preservation? why would i care about that if i have the chance to make the snake less sad??

i mean, farm animals are domesticated so they're supposed to be pretty chill. i like to think that once yakumo spent more time on the farm with a loving family, his energy became more stable and more human. and surely with daily exposure, those farm animals would acclimate to yakumo's presence. maybe even grow to like him if he takes care of them.

THAT IS TO SAY even if the animals initially shun him or treat him like Danger... they eventually associate his energy with the good times. and yakumo would learn how to act around each specific animal so as not to upset them (just like any good zookeeper!!). As both parties build upon their experiences, the likelihood of positive interaction between yakumo and another animal goes up up 🆙☝!!!

IN THE END, ALL THIS MEANS is that, simply bc i like animals, i'm gonna pretend that yakumo's grandparents also farmed creatures (dang, an undertaking for 2 elderly ppl. i know. but this is gay fantasy isekai). ok, maybe more believably, a neighbour farmed animals and yakumo was the only young'n around to help. and because of all that, yakumo has experience dealing with animals.

according to my made-up timeline (😄) if i drew him at human age ~7, it would make sense if it was a pic of a cow chewing on his hair (being bullied by ungulates. he's crying), or chickens pecking him en masse

and if i drew him getting ALONG with those same animals, it would more likely be a yakumo at human age -- well- older than that. he's got some working experience at that point.

(slams fist on table) SO I CAN JUSTIFIABLY Draw A FLUFFY CHICKEN RESTING HAPPILY IN YAKUMO'S ARMS AND IT COULD BE IN-CHARACTER.

i crave interspecies friendships. humans do nonsensical things to befriend other critters. why can't the chickens override their snake fear for this one special boi. it is what i want to see and i will twistturn canon until i see it.

[themediummultiverseau]

So now we know that papyrus is aware of the ghost, but what does he think of each of them? (Doesn't need to be every single one but maybe just the ones he most often heard about? Tho i wouldn't mind all of em either)

Maybe why dream and killer are fond of him, and what do the others think?

(im sorry i havent answered this, ive just been so drained and i just dont have the mental or physical energy to draw for it, but the guilt has been eating me alive, so im gonna write this out, and i might edit it to add art after if i can)

lets work in areas, we'll start with the park ghosts, and then year order, then ill give paps answers as to how he feels about them at the end

Nightmare - He admires Papyrus's enthusiasm, and can see how he very clearly cares about his brother very strongly, and admires how close they are as siblings, something he wishes he had with dream. He also sees how him and dream similar, at least, how he remembers dream to be.

Cross - He sees the hidden strength that others do not in him, but also sees his peaceful nature within. Always sees the good in everyone, believing that they can be the best version of themself if they try, something he wishes he could have himself.

Dust - is kinda scared of him, but once he saw that he wasn't like his brother, he warmed up to him, wishing his brother was like him, someone who cared, and when sans told paps about this, paps offered to be his new brother, dust smiled for the fist time in a long while when he got the news

Horror - He wants so desperately to hug paps, and thank him for everything he has and still does for sans and their makeshift family. When paps learned of Horrors past, he told sans to bring him some of the spaghetti he was making, and leave it as an offering for him to have. Horror cried when he got the food. Paps insists that even when he doesnt go with sans to see them, that he take food for him, and Horror is so honoured

Killer - He sees Paps as the brother he never had. Killer didnt have any siblings, the only one i believe - minus blue who im working on behind the scenes - and in the ghost family, he's the youngest, he kinda sees paps as his baby brother, but doesnt want to share that cus he feels like he'd be stealing him from his real brother if he did, which is silly, paps has enough love for everyone.

Hospital

Dream - he relates to paps, and sees his younger self in his carefree attitude. He sees the adult Paps is, still so hopeful about the world, and wishes he still thought that way.

Geno - doesnt really interact with him much, he likes him, but theyre not very close. Genos kinda a mum friend, and sees paps as someone in the group of people he cares for, but they dont spend much time together

Town

Ink - routinely forgets of paps existence, when he's reintroduced, they get along great, and tend to hype each other up when talking about topics theyre interested in, very eager to hear about the others interests

Lust - while first wary, lust if very comfortable with him now. lust tends to be cautious with everyone he meets for the first time, due to his past, but he sees that paps is a good person, and sees him as what everyone should be, a shoulder to cry on, and a friend to lift your spirits ;)

Error - He doesnt really care about paps, he doesnt really care about anyone, but sometimes paps will offer him some wool or some knitting needles, and is now in his good books, though he'll refuse to admit it

paps :

Nightmare - he tries to help him see that he doesnt need to be so uptight all the time, everyone around him loves him, he doesnt always need to be "perfect," hes perfect to them all the same

Cross - He thinks Cross is so cool! While obviously paps is very cool, sometimes deep down he doesnt really believe it, but Cross really is! he hopes one day he will be just as brave and cools as him!

Dust - He feels really bad for him, he just want to give him a big hug, but he cant, so he'll make do with silent one sided comfort. he understands what its like for there to be so much noise in your head, that sometimes you want to scream, sometimes all you need is a hand to.... not hold

Horror - He's very glad that such a great baker likes his cooking! sometimes, he'll ask horror for new recipes, or tips to try, and together they run a small cooking blog online, stating that they have and old family cook book, and want the world to have access to those recipes, with sans typing it up for them - Its Ghost written ;)

Killer - He's very energetic! If he was visible to him, he'd love to show off cool magic attacks or have a friendly spar with him! They'd get along like a house on fire - just dont tell Nightmare that

Dream - Hes so sad to see the light squashed out of someone once a beacon of joy, and he hopes that with a few more people to speak to, and someone to show him the world can be good, that spark will rekindle - but maybe dont word it like that

Geno - He's very nice! Very mature, if a little morbid, he want to get closer to him, maybe he just needs to visit a little more!

Ink - Hes very cool! A very talented artist, and he like all papyrus's puzzles! sometimes they'll talk for hours about new ideas

Lust - he doesnt understand why lust wont show himself to him, that what his power is, right? But he respects that maybe he just doent want to! thats okay, he cant see the other ghosts either, if lust wants space to be happy, he can give him that

Error - He sees him as sort of like a cat, antisocial, but will begrudgingly tolerate your presence, one day he'll get him to like him! he refuses to give up!

Now, you have to remember, Papyrus cant see the ghosts, and while he can kinda feel where they are, he cant hear them (with the exception of horror, but thats not his voice) so -

Imagine Sans sitting in the corner translating everything for paps to hear FOR. EVERY. CONVERSATION.

mans just a walking Ouija board at this point

[miragestar]

Founders of WeevilClan!

(copy + pasted descriptions of each cat)

Since Clangen got a new update, I started a new clan. I wanted to draw all the founders because these guys are all sooo pretty and I love them

The StarClan guide is Hareheart, who I briefly exiled to the DF for fun. That's all I really have to say about him. I like to think that him and Basildapple are related somehow. 

WeevilClan's leader is Crowstar, formerly called Crowtooth. He's very confident, a good fighter, and has a huge ego. He frequently brags about his abilities and leaves his clanmates exasperated a lot. He very frequently butts heads with both his deputy and medicine cat. 

Basildapple is the deputy, and although he and Crowstar share similar traits they could not be more different! Basildapple is confident in the quiet, calculating sort of way. He can be intense at times but unlike Crowstar there's still warmth underneath, and he cares a lot for all his clanmates. He is also a lot more reasonable than Crowstar, and his antics make Basildapple nervous a lot. 

Siltpurr is the medicine cat and well... cold certainly describes her. She frequently grumbles the warriors for their "low pain tolerance" (She's also listed as being a good fighter so I headcanon she used to be part of a violent colony) and overall she isn't like, super pleasant to be around. Though, there is a secret heart of gold, and the willingness to help others, underneath that frosty exterior. 

The eldest warrior is Whirlfur, and he's a big stick in the mud. He can often be found lecturing the apprentices and young warriors about the importance of the warrior code. That being said, he is deeply loyal to his clanmates and would risk his life for any of them. 

Freezerump's name is great. She's literally the expression "freezing your ass off". Anyways, Freezerump is a disheveled, bloodthirsty cat. She loves nothing more than antagonizing the other clans and sparring with her own clanmates. She frequently wishes she was deputy, and knowing Crowstar he probably would pick her if anything happened to Basildapple. 

Rosytwist is your crunchy, granola, "spirtual" aunt who swears that essential oils cure sickness and probably posts misguided bible verses on Facebook. She's undeniably sweet, but also downright strange. She has a strong connection to StarClan as well, which only fuels her strangeness. She has taken great interest in spending time with Buttercuppaw recently, worried that she's going down the wrong path.

Crookedpatch the friendly cat in the clan that everyone is friends with! He likes telling stories and would probably be the perfect elder if he weren't only 70 moons old, lol. Between you and me, he would be my choice for the next deputy. 

Comfreyfur is a silly, childish prankster who loves nothing more than joking around with her clanmates--especially if that clanmate is Pinetree, who she has a crush on. She's not the most reliable warrior however, and this frequently gets on other cats' nerves. 

Pinetree on the other hand, is a hardy, loyal, and bold cat who frequently brags about how she isn't afraid of anything. She's a bit like Crowstar in that regard (I actually kind of imagine they're related too, since they have the same eye color) but unlike Crowstar, Pinetree is much kinder and frankly more popular than she is. 

Finally, Buttercuppaw is currently the only apprentice. Apprenticed to Pinetree, she is a bit, well... bitter. Nobody's really sure if it's permanent or just a phase, but both Rosytwist and Siltpurr try to spend time with her and make sure she doesn't do something bad. 

And that's WeevilClan! They're a fun bunch, can't wait to see how they develop in the future.

[bbq-hawks-wings]

Queen Sonia and King Rauru in colored/dry watercolor pencil on toned paper.

Hey everyone, I haven't forgotten about those essays I mentioned and I fully intend to get to them as soon as I can because they're eating away at the back of my brain, but real life and family has to be tended to first until I get a lull in workload (lol). I wish I could begin to describe what's likely coming onto my plate for the next couple of years, but it's just too much of an operational security thing to feel secure divulging too much. I find myself in a weird middle ground between wanting to share details about my personal life, but I just don't think it's the time yet right now, if it ever will be. All the same, I hope someday I can share some of it with you.

Did this drawing over our family vacation and it's the first polished thing I've made in a while. Feels good. I've really been enjoying learning the ins and outs of the Zelda lore thanks to this game, specifically. I feel quite loved and respected by this franchise - hence why it's on my list of topics to eventually cover, I hope.

And to the anon I'd like to respond to quite soon, I wanted you to know that I wanted you to be part of this personal update, too. It's been hard for me to find the time to be active on the blog again, but it's sweet to know that my old stuff still gets found and somehow some of the past cringe I've posted isn't enough to scare people off from asking and interacting like the old days - assuming they've found and chosen to write off said cringe and I haven't just given myself away. Lol

Anyway, I felt you deserved a dedicated spot to shout out how appreciative I was at the respect and humility you've shown me in those messages, and I'd like to know what your question about Hawks is and maybe even answer it. I haven't followed the manga in years though I hear it's ending, and I did want to finish out reviewing the series after it's finished and I've had a chance to wrap up all my observations and feelings about it because - silly as it is - running and updating this blog was and still is a major, and even formative, part of my life I want to show due respect to as I can; but I'll talk more in the proper response.

Good to see the new and old faces in my feed still. You're on my mind a lot more than my activity level would suggest. Take care, everyone. I hope to catch up more soon.

[snailingtalks]

Do what you love

The way I see this thing changed a lot in the past year. Or even in the past month.

I was a happy person, who naturally had to do things I didn’t like or want to do, but I always was able to do what I want as well — to draw after I finish my homework, to read books in the evening, or watch anime, or go to jewelry classes and make ceramics at home after work. I’ve always had opportunities to do anything I wish — and I was used to it. And when the pandemic hit I was not upset at all because I could spend the time I used to spend on the way to the office and back on my own projects and hobbies, on the things I love.

But then…

The war started — and all my dreams and plans and hopes and habits were ruined in an instant, and after the series of events I ended up in entirely different place, where I can not do creative things that I used to do for years. All I wanted to do was implossible here. And I was stuck with the boring work that I hated.

At some point I found myself absolutely unable to focus on my tasks — like, my attention span was shorter than a tiktok video, I struggled with filling in even a short form (I was working with documents a lot). I was distracted by literally everything, from my phone to the sounds behind my window, and the fact that I’m working from home didn’t help at all — I did anything possible but not work. And I felt as crap.

Should I even mention that I didn’t have any energy even to go buy groceries? I spent weekends watching dramas and even not remembering what I’ve watched.

But at the same point I’ve started to get less paperwork and my priorities changed — I’ve returned to working on a project that I’m really interested in — and guess what — my ability to focus ✨magically✨ reappeared, and last week I worked for 7-9 hours a day almost without distractions — though my environment or schedule or anything else didn’t change. It was just the interesting vs important but boring staff I have to do. That’s all. And still, it feels like my condition changed radically.

So lately I was thinking about all this a lot — I’ve never noticed how important is it to at least like your work. No, of course I knew that to like what you do is better than to hate it — but it never crossed my mind how much it can influence my energy levels.

So. What I wanted to say. For everyone who read this — try to do more of what you like to do! Not just think tat it’s important, but what you feel good doing, even if others think it’s silly (i’m working on a language learning app now, and it’s obviously much less important than making an accounting system (especially in a tiny country where accountants still do everything manually and need some good software), but it’s way more joyful for me, so I’ll do that silly little language learning app!). That’s it.