#love these silly bastards none of them are normal

[ollierachnid]

Dragged kicking and screaming back into silly British people video games

[starlightazriel]

necessities 3

series desc: modern day (fem)reader x classic prythian azriel au, series of short chapters, fluffy, smutty, cute, probably some angst and or drama cus it's me

warnings: 18+, this is silly!! hehe, reader is a little ditsy & air headed, sexual tension asf, az def has a size kink in this lol , hundreds of years age gap lol, mentions of az crush on elain (he b acting like me just b having a crush on anyone), az has so much inner monologue in this lol,

wc: 2k

other parts can be found on my az masterlist <3

three

"Hypothetically speaking," Azriel clears his throat, finally speaking up after having been sat silently in the corner. He had been battling with himself about how to bring up his question without raising suspicion. He wanted to keep you as his little secret for a just a little longer. He did like his privacy after all, though he thought it may be a bit selfish of him not to explain the full situation. He'd worry about that later.

The more details they had, the closer they could be to an answer on how to get you back to— California? Was it? What a ridiculous name.

Cass raises an eyebrow, he was sat in his usual seat in Rhys study, and the only noises are Rhys pen scratching and the sound of Feyre and Elain singing cheerfully to Nyx in another room. Normally, Elain's presence would have distracted him. He was mostly over it obviously, he had taken many lovers since their almost kiss—

And now, next to his new human pet?

Not pet, sick bastard.

Elain seemed almost plain, as lovely as she was.

Lucien can have her.

"If you fell into Prythian from another world, some kind of—" he paused as Rhys pen had stopped scritching away and his eyes were now trained on Azriel, chin slightly tilted up in piqued interest. "A portal of sorts," he continued, Cassian tilted his head to the side curiously, Azriel knew none of this sounded remotely normal coming from him. "Would there be a way back? " he finally asks, trying to be as casual as he possibly could, keeping his face a mask of cool calm.

"That's pretty specific for being hypothetical," Cassian snickers, Azriels nostrils flare slightly, but he doesn't comment, his expression doesn't falter, he only directs his attention to Rhys.

"That really depends, is there a tether? Is the portal still open after you fall out? Was it even a portal, or something else?" Rhys fires off each question thoughtfully as he leans back in his chair, crossing his fingers over his lap, Az opened and then closed his mouth again, he didn't really have an answer for any of them. "What brought this on Az?" he asks then after the short moment of silence, Azriel quickly shrugs his shoulders, he almost never said something that didn't have some purpose.

"Just been doing some light reading on infinite worlds," he responds nonchalantly, Rhys was watching him skeptically, never had Az been much of a reader. "It's nothing really, curiosity is all," he adds sensing Rhys suspicion.

Rhys shrugs and turns his attention back to whatever documents he had been reviewing. "Are you thinking of trying to travel to another world?" he asks casually, his pen scratching away.

"No," Azriel responds simply, and that was true, he wasn't trying to travel to another world.

Cassian started rambling about his ideal world and Azriel found himself distracted, he wondered if you were doing okay back at his apartment. He knew he would have to find a good excuse to get out of here soon so he could check on you.

He was trying to pay attention to the conversation at hand, as it had drifted back to the original politics. It was nearly impossible when he imagined you back at his place, all alone, probably scared, hungry... Probably freshly bathed now- waiting to be fucked and teased and tortured- not tortured- well, maybe a little bit.

He really wasn't understanding his desire and infatuation for you, humans had never piqued his interest, never. But you weren't like any other human he had seen in the mortal lands, so much softer... Sexier- More delicate. So small that he felt like he might break you if he fucked you the way he wanted to, the thought was more intriguing than it should have been. He swallowed hard, get a grip, he told himself, his ears felt hot, he had to go—

"I have to leave," he stands abruptly, interrupting whatever conversation they were having that he couldn't bare to be a part of anymore. Not that he'd really been listening anyway. He ignored the questions and suspicions from his brothers, and didn't utter another word when he made exit, shadows skittering behind him as if they were up to no good.

They liked the little human too.

-

How many fucking hours had it been? You had no idea. But life without internet? Miserable. Absolutely fucking miserable. There wasnt even a TV here!

The bath though, was fire. You couldn't deny that, huge enough to fit a man like that made it basically like a pool for you- okay maybe not a pool but it was huge. You ended up in an undershirt of sorts that reached your knees, Azriel had been right about there not being much for you to wear in his wardrobe. You didn't mind though, and you still had your extra panties from your bag, though you'd have to find out if silk pajamas existed.

You hoped that Azriel was trying to find answers about how to get you home, though, it felt so far away now— Felt like you had been gone for weeks already, were the days longer here?

The sun was finally beginning to set and as you lay there on the huge bed in the luxuriously silky sheets you wondered where he was and if he'd be back soon. Your stomach was aching and you hadn't taken your eyes off of the balcony entrance for hours.

It wasn't long before Azriel appeared on the balcony again, he didn't fly this time— he emerged in shadow, and you jumped, flying into a sitting position as you shot up in bed.

"You scared me!" you exclaim, Azriel smiles sheepishly as he sets down a small bag on the table along with a few wrapped plates. "Who the fuck are you, Jeepers Creepers?"

"Jeepers-? Actually, I'm just going to skip past that, I'm sorry for scaring you, how was your afternoon and evening, Bubbles?" he's standing by the table now, watching you curiously.

"Boring as fuck," you sigh, sitting up fully now, you're eyeing the plates, starving as ever now. Your stomach growled.

"Sorry about that. Are you hungry?" he follows your gaze to the wrapped plates on the table. "I didn't know what you liked so I got a few things," he placed the three plates on the bed in front of you and uncovered them all. You opted for the one that looked the healthiest.

"I usually go for a hot girl walk after dinner," you say tasting some of the vegetables first. Your eyes widened in surprise. "This is so good! Like Gordon Ramsey type shit," you hummed in delight and took another bite trying some of the meat and potatoes.

"A hot girl walk?" he asks, quirking a brow. "I'm not sure if that will be possible, humans— Well they don't really exist on this side of the wall, I don't think you'd like the humans much from my world either, though, if you ever wanted to see the mortal lands, I could take you," he says thoughtfully, skipping over the Gordon Ramsey comment, he didn't know what that meant.

"Mortal lands as in— You're immortal? Like Edward Cullen?"

"I don't know who that is, but yes I am immortal, I'm five hundred years old."

"FIVE HUNDRED?" You demand, your eyes widening as you stared back at him. "I need your skin care routine," you inspected his face then, the loose curls that dropped over his forehead, perfect cheek bones, a few light freckles dusting his perfectly angled nose, probably brought about by the sun, a strong sharp jaw line that was slightly rounded in that pretty boy way, very very kissable slightly full lips, and the most gorgeous hazel bedroom eyes that revealed absolutely nothing. He could definitely make people mags sexiest man alive and beat anyone who's ever gotten it.

"I'm not sure that has anything to do with it," he chuckles quietly. "How old are you?" It's a casual question, but he needs to know. He liked this, he liked watching you eat the food that he'd brought for you, liked seeing the way your pouty full lips wrapped around the fork the soft moans that left your lips as you enjoyed—

"Twenty one," you respond, your eyes flicking back up to his face again, you blushed as your eyes locked, he was already staring at you intensely.

"Very young," he comments after a moment of silence, he was studying your face with an intensity that no one ever had before, not even Cody. You swallowed, blinking a few times, your cheeks warm and stomach churning with nerves. He looked like he could swallow you whole. The way he looked at you ignited something deep in your belly and excitement different than one you'd ever felt before.

"So you eat regular food like me, right?" you ask carefully before taking another bite of the delicious food on your plate. Your tone was soft, under a stare like that it was hard to find your voice. He chuckles, a glimmer of mischief flashing in his eyes.

"No, I actually like to roast little human girls over my spit in the back, Im just fattening you up first, next I'll put an apple in your mouth and baste you with my special sauce," he flashed his blinding white, heart stopping smile at you and wiggled his eyebrows.

"That's not funny."

"Yes Bubbles, I eat regular food like you."

-

Your breath hitched as you stepped out onto the balcony with Azriel. Your belly was full and you felt quite sleepy and heavy from the delicious food. It was dark now and the stars here— It was like a galaxy right in front of your eyes.

The view of this city at night- it was beautiful.

"The city of starlight, Velaris," Azriel says softly, hes standing a few paces back, his hands shoved into his pockets, wings relaxed behind him, but hes watching you, carefully. Admiring you as you take in the view.

"It's like New York," you whisper, tears welling in your eyes as you remember you may never see it again. The people you may never see again. You used to love shopping with your friends for a weekend in NYC, and fashion week? You'd never see another fashion week again. You'd never get a blow out again or acrylics or a VIP pedicure...

Azriel didn't say anything, he stood quiet beside you, but he watched. He resisted the urge to reach out and swipe your tears. He kept the shadows at bay as they leaned in closer to your melancholy, trying to understand.

"The city that never sleeps," you added softly, feeling rather poetic as you looked out onto this new city. Would this be your new home? Would Azriel find a way to get you back?

"I got you something while I was out," he cleared his throat, he didnt know why, but he couldn't stand your tears, he wanted to fix it for you, cheer you up.

"A present? Already?" your eyes lit up a little bit at that and you turned and watched him retrieve the little bag that he had brought in with him earlier, you wondered why he waited til now to give it to you. One thing you loved was presents, specifically from devastatingly handsome men.

"Just a start, to your new wardrobe, you'll need something to wear tomorrow when I bring you to meet my family," he says quietly as he watches you open the package, as much as he'd like to keep you locked up in here as a personal little sex slave— he knew he couldn't. Though, he could tell by your scent, by the way you squeezed your legs together when your eyes met his, the way you looked at him with wonder and curiosity— the flush of your cheeks, he knew he could fuck you at any moment he liked and you wouldn't stop him.

"Oh my," you squealed softly as you held up the pretty pink fabric in the air.

"It was the smallest size they had, I hope it fits," he swallowed, a small smile tugging at his lips as he watched you inspect the dress.

"I love it! It's giving coquette realness, should I try it on for you?" your eyes flicked to his, and you were surprised at your boldness, he was a monster after all. Azriels eyes darkened and narrowed slightly, his jaw flexing.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea Bubbles."

--

reblog and i'll give you a kiss ;)

taglist <3 : @velarisdusk @scorpioriesling @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @smalljasper289 @cherryinsalemverse @cleverzonkwombatsludge @serxndipity-ipity-blog @blessthepizzaman

[p4nishers]

vimes realizing he's in love with vetinari. now that. hmm. listen. how long it took for him to ACTUALLY fall in love with sybil? oh he liked her, he loved her SO much, but he wasn't IN love with her till jingo. he just thought he was in love. (that doesn't mean he loved her any less or that their love is any less, it means he didn't know her, didn't really have the time for her till he made it so. till he wanted it. really, truly wanted it.) but what would it take for vimes to realizes he's in love with vetinari? well, to be honest with you, not one damn fucking thing. like vetinari's is quite literally the thing he's the MOST stubborn about. he only starts to begrudgingly like him in fucking THUD! that's the SEVENTH book in the watch series. like my man is NOT here to play about his feelings (or, what he'd like to think, the lack thereof) for vetinari. so, what would it TAKE??

another attempt on vetinari's life? this time a SERIOUS one? or vetinari ACTIVELY saving someone sam loves? like young sam? would that. would that ever happen and how would vimes feel about it?? or would it be bc of some kind of jealousy?? or or or OR WHAT

like this is driving me insane i cant fucking figure it out bc there's no universe for me where sam vimes isn't freakishly in love with his boss but how the actual FUCK does that happen and how do i get it thru his thick skull that it's happening??? HOW

what if they like go on ambassador shit together like idk to lancre (bc this is me we're talking abt what did u expect of COURSE imma bring the old women into this) (listen. yes vetinari wouldn't ever go bc why tf would he that's why he has fucking ambassadors and VIMES but. just give me this one thing please and thank you) and sybil outright refuses to go bc sam i have Things to Take Care Of and and you can jolly well run along and do your job and and and. right. yup. go on (she wants them to spent time together for fuck's sake what will it TAKE for them to stop this bloody silly dance already she is so so so tired of toxic yaoi. give her a break) and so they go and sam is perpetually angry bc his Emotional Support Wife basically kicked him out of the house and now he has to endure this bloody fucking trip with his boss who he has Feelings that he would rather not think about and vetinari keeps bloody smiling and being bloody cheerful and bloody handsome in the sunlight and– nope. Not Gonna Go There.

so anyway they arrive whatever it's fine but obviously there was some misunderstanding some (willful) spelling error on vetinari's part and turns out everyone thinks the patriarch and his HUSBAND came to the princess's wedding which is. fine. totally and utterly fine. everyone is suupper normal about it. especially since esme is marrying A Girl. wild, right? so you can imagine how vimes is feeling. how many walls has he punched? who knows we can never know (none bc vetinari Raised His Eyebrows and he had to settle for kicking a few trees and almost rolling down the mountain. Gracefully, of course).

obviously there's the There Was Only One Bed trope. obviously there's victorian woman having gay thoughts for the first time yearning (repressed). of course there's the beast (repressed. for now). of course there's a moonlight conversation which inevitably leads to the Slight Softening of Sam Vimes's Heart and the next day which turns out to be Sam Vimes's Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day. it's the evening before the wedding. a party. with nobs. and idiotic clothes and vetinari and stares and nosy witches and vetinari and awkward conversations and vetinari and vetinari asking (ordering) him to dance and oh shit oh fuck oh what the bloody shit is this why is the bastard SO GOOD+??!!??! does he practice has he practiced will he practice and want a partner– no. no. No. NOO not happening vimes is perfectly sane and Will Not Fucking GO THERE!!!

anyway of course shit happens. of course it ends with vimes and vetinari trudging thru the forest, drenched in rain and mud and fuck knows what else and both of them have fuck all idea about mountains and vimes is fucking Pissed bc his lordship shouldn't be here i dont need his lordship here this is bloody fucking daft. sir. and he gets nothing but that infuriating fucking smile in return and a "ah, but your grace, i am simply enjoying a brisk walk. i wasn't aware that was crime" and he's fucking COVERED in mud and his clothes are sticking to him and vimes had never actually seen him WET before and there's mud on his CHEEK and his hair is mussed and. vimes walks into a tree. gets tangled up in a few tree branches, perhaps. trips and falls flat on his ass, even. vetinari laughs at him in that way of his where he's not laughing but you can tell, deep down, he IS. and vimes is still pissed. and suddenly vetinari is helping him up and looking at him from up close with that expression of his that suggests he has inside jokes with himself and he. kisses him.

what the FUCK, right? well. surprise element and all that. vimes' first instinct obviously is to fucking fight him. then he's like. oh wait oh what the fuck. THEN he's like. vetinari is actually a good kisser and im gonna fucking faint. Actually. then vetinari pulls away and goes on business as usual like not a thing happened. if vimes wasn't so fucking dazed and tingling throughout his whole body he'd bash his skull in but well. he just stumbles after him and tries to not have a heart attack.

unfortunately he doesn't have time to think about it bc fucking CENTAURS attack them. yeah. it's not a pretty fight. by the time they get back to the castle vimes is angry and tired and his whole body feels like a bruise and he's STILL fucking thinking about that kiss but he's so tired he actively cannot fucking speak so instead of punching vetinari's perfect fucking face like he planned to he falls headfirst into their bed and goes the fuck to sleep. of course when he wakes up the bed is empty next to him and he remembers last nights events and he just looks and looks and looks at vetinari's side of the bed and has this horrible sick feeling like Uh Oh. i would do anything to see how he looks like asleep. how he looks like minutes after he wakes up. the weight of his body. vimes has the weird thought that he's actually JEALOUS of a fucking bed for feeling vetinari's weight and has to go walk around the castle 5 times. while in his drawers. it's...he could've been more diplomatic about it, is all.

so he spends the whole day in this out of body shock and avoids the fuck out of vetinari and instead goes to do literally anything he can. he talks to shawn. he talks to hodgesargh. he talks to the princess about love and freaks the absolute fuck out. he tears out every root in the entire back garden in a burst of mania. he walks up and down the mountains. he eventually ends up talking to nanny and she implements her bottomless wisdom on him ('fine lad you got there, your graciousness, wanna share 'im? oh, come on i'm just having laugh no need to be like that. you wanna lock it down, if you ask me, that whole fruit basket is RIPE wink wink') which makes him reevaluate his entire life and walk up and down more fucking mountains.

this leads him. nowhere. he hasn't figured out SHIT. he doesn't even know WHAT he's supposed to be figuring out but it sure as shit something and he has this insistent urge to see vetinari but also he WILL punch a wall if he sees him with his entire Unaffected Self so he goes and roams the halls of the castle and he's going room from room searching for something he doesn't even know about until he comes across quiet voices talking and he looks inside and it's bloody fucking vetinari comforting esme's fiancee, nina, and he just. watches. he never knew vetinari could be so gentle. and it's bc he doesn't have to pretend with nina. she doesn't know who he is just that he saw her struggling with some sewing and he helped and they got to talking and she opened up about her fears for being a queen someday and he was just SO kind. and as sam watches this he quietly, quietly realizes that he's in love. and it doesn't hurt him, not like he thought it would. maybe it will, eventually, but this, seeing vetinari like this, doesn't hurt. it can't.

he walks away before he can be seen (though, no doubt, vetinari already sensed him) and just. goes and has a cigarette and tries very hard not to make a big deal out of it. but it is a big deal. and he cant tell anyone.

so its the night of the wedding, ceremony blah blah blah its all a blur until vetinari intertwines their fingers as they walk down the aisle as guests of honor and vimes' whole world narrows down to that one point of contact until vetinari drops it again as they sit down and blah blah blah its the reception the brides are flushed and dancing and happy and happy and vimes is watching them and thinking of his own wedding and also vetinari vetinari vetinari and then of course vetinari stands next to him and he's more scared than he's ever been in his life and vetinari takes his hand again and it is So Over for vimes. they fucking hold hands while saying nothing and it kills vimes but also it's the most alive he's ever felt and maybe there wont ever be more than this but if he has this he'll be fine. and he is. and they are. the end.

so what i'm saying with this is. maybe vimes just needs a few quiet moments where he can see glimpses of vetinari he hadn't let himself see before and also he needs to be hit over the head with feelings otherwise it wont work. vetinari NEEDS to make the first move bc our dear duke will never. ever ever. he doesn't even let himself THINK he wants it he won't do it unless vetinari Plagues him with the Images.

[rose-lunaire]

theodore nott | halloween special

i’m honouring friday the 13th by posting the first chapter of my october series.

slytherin season masterlist

pairing: theodore nott x gn!reader

warnings: ghosts? alcohol consumption, smoking

autumn mornings at hogwarts were supposed to be dull. dark fog creeping through the heavy curtains, muffled snoring and groaning that slowly blurred into grumpy remarks and the sound of footsteps on the staircase. it was normal. comforting. just as for theo was your careless singing in the shower. your roommates always complained how you woke them up abruptly, but for him it meant safety. it meant you were near and excited for the day. it meant that everything was alright.

you would hum while brushing your hair, your hustling would slowly wake him up. and so theo would smile at you, jokingly complaining about your morning habits. you would scoff at him, maybe throw a pillow at him in retaliation. the laughter would commence as theodore slumped out of bed, lazily getting ready for the day. people would give you weird looks while getting down to the great hall. your morning were full of laughter and playful banter that could light up even the gloomiest of souls.

“i like your voice”

normally compliments made you flustered. you would let out an awkward chuckle or two and flush a little. who knew that an innocent sentence like this could send chills down your spine?

the letters were written in perfect cursive, like by a studious second-grader or an old-fashioned professor. it looked like copied from a calligraphy textbook. but what really scared you was that it wouldn’t fade. the hazy surface of the mirror was eerily cold. you could see the dread in your right eye reflected in the dot of the third ���i”.

maybe it was a silly prank? your boyfriend, theodore, wasn’t one for jokes, but it seemed like the only logical explanation. maybe he was testing out a new spell he has learnt? right, it was probably it. you could swear you had seen a glimpse of a smile on his lips as you went to the bathroom. “that bastard”, you thought, chuckling at yourself. there was no need for worry, it was just a prank. right.

“if you liked my voice that much, you could’ve just told me, you know”

nott was barely awake and visibly confused. “angel, i love you, but you sound like a choking hippogriff” he grumbled and rolled over to the other side of the bed. “no, teddy, please don’t fall asleep” panic seeped though your voice. the boy sensed it (or had enough of you shaking him awake) and let you drag him into the bathroom. it took him a full minute to realise what’s going on. “oh fuck.”

“okay, to summarise what we know now: no one has entered the dorm room since chris and blaise left. according to the archives, there is no spell that could leave such an imprint. also, it’s not potter who wanted to give you a scare. there is only one creature that could do it.” he didn’t need to say it out loud. ghost were an inherent part of every wizard’s life. they presented as an imprint of one’s soul, bound to someplace close to their heart. you’ve seen them countless times, salazar, you greeted them each morning running to class. the thing is, they were allowed to stay at hogwarts only under some conditions. “on a second thought, forget it, school ghosts aren’t hostile.”

“theo?” he hummed in response, pouring himself a cup of coffee. “what if it wasn’t a school ghost?” no, that was stupid. hogwarts was the safest place in the magical world. there’s no way an evil spirit could just march in there and mess around without any consequences. yet after six years of studying here, you weren’t so sure about it anymore. you squeezed your boyfriend’s arm.

day passed and you felt yourself becoming more paranoid than ever. always looking over your shoulder, hand clasped tightly over your wand. theodore picked up a habit of checking the bathroom before you entered. it was getting ridiculous but none of you could help it. in a desperate attempt to comfort you theo even considered consulting snape about spirits.

“i miss your smile”

the sound of your screams rocked the foundations of slytherin dungeon. it echoed through the crocked staircase, rang in the main fireplace of the common room. you were shaking. the world developed awfully sharp edges and all the lights were blinding. everything was shaking. it made you want to scream even more. suddenly your body rose from the floor. you started wiggling and kicking the air, panic seeping though your breathless struggle.

“didn’t know you’re so strong” a displeased grumble came from behind your back. your vision was so focused you couldn’t see what was right in front of your face. his features scrunched tightly, forming creases around his deep eyes. you counted two blinks during what felt like an eternity. theodore nott was carrying you to bed. he was shaking. were you shaking? it felt like the whole world was shaking with you. “calm down, love” he sighed. “skurge!” it was like a whole anvil was lifted from your chest. the boy caressed your cheek carefully, like checking for any injuries. then everything started to blur perfectly and weariness washed over you completely.

there was no plasm left on the bathroom floor. either nott’s charm was successful or there was nothing here in the first place. he didn’t like the smell lingering in the room. it reminded him of an old sweater he wore to visit grandparents’ graves. it was the odour of the chemicals used in muggle trains. feeling reminiscent of the split second before the ink spilled all over a potions essay. taste of fire whiskey before he was too drunk to ignore it. but it was the note on the mirror that made him puke.

the mirror incidents increased in frequency as halloween approached. you and theo were barely sleeping. teachers would take pity on you and wouldn’t reprimand you for dozing off in their classes. it was bad. so bad you started giving up. stopped checking the bathroom two times before entering, stopped singing, stopped looking into the mirror. the sight of your hazy eyes was worse even than the foggy messages.

slowly it started affecting your roommates. heavy and disorderly footsteps became the trademark of your dorm room. schoolwork kept piling up relentlessly and none of you could force yourselves into completing the assignments. coffee was spilled, ink filled up your cups to the brim. weekends were the real torture that commenced with student’s smiley faces and happy chatter.

“enough!” even draco was agitated from his friends behaviour. “we’re throwing a fucking party and your attendance is required” he scoffed at your disheveled appearance. truth be told he was concerned. he saw theodore skipping classes just to smoke his heart away. his precious coat grey from the smoke and muddy from late night walks by the lake. he was always brooding, but this was extreme even for nott. as for you, well, you were a wreck. too unsettled to even notice the difference theo’s behaviour. you were both constantly on edge, frantically holding hands until your knuckles whitened.

malfoy didn’t lie. it was fucking party. music blaring so loudly it almost drown out your thoughts and worries. after the second glass of whiskey you let out a broken laugh. crabb was on his fourth glass and was telling something about muggles and their weird traditions. an empty bottle became a makeshift broom that muggles use to try and become wizards. goyle was trying to hold him up, but was laughing so hard he fell to the floor first.

by midnight blaise started talking uncontrollably. it was a constant stream of words, from which you picked out particularly “ghost”, “mirror” and “freak”. turns out you and theo weren’t going crazy or at least weren’t the only ones losing their sanity. the look of terror on his face would’ve been hilarious if it wasn’t for your own worries. as your circled quieted down, a group of ravenclaws approached with their gossip. and more booze.

“i can’t believe it’s real!” exclaimed one of them. “the fuck do you mean?” theo was sobering up from anger. “the legend! i mean, don’t tell me you haven’t heard of amanda dovetail?” one look into your tired eyes and she lost her amusement. the girl cleared her throat. “so, she was a second-year slytherin. i believe she died quite suddenly after living a life of curiosity and passion for learning. many believe her spirit couldn’t give up the school of her dreams yet, so she stayed around. her energy is weak, so she chooses to come back only once in ten years. but then it’s like she’s living there all over again.”

you put down you glass carefully and got up. nott wanted to stop you, but one look into your eyes and he stayed in his place. you wanted out.

you spend the rest of the night reading charms textbooks and old students’ diaries. turns out amanda indeed comes back every october and tries to bond with the current residents of her old dorm. after all this fear and weariness you still wanted to help her. so you read out loud, slowly and patiently explaining more difficult concepts.

the next morning your notes were scattered all over the room. the first letters of each page read: thank you.

[lefaystrent]

One Man's Boon is Another Man's Bummer

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: none despite God's best efforts

Summary: "So because I lived a boring ass life and never had a long time boyfriend or got married or whatever sentimental crap, I'm being subjected to...romance? In an alternate universe? After dying?"

"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up."

In other words, Virgil gets isikaed.

-------------------------------------------------------

The weirdest part of Virgil's day is not waking up in a fantasy universe where he's apparently the son of a very prominent lord.

The weirdest part is not even the fact that he remembers vividly dying in the most horrifically embarrassing way before waking up in said universe. He slipped in the shower and banged his head. Naked. People were going to find his dead body and it was naked. He thinks he could die a second time just picturing it.

The weirdest part is also not that the sky is green here and the grass is blue. Or that dragons grow no bigger than miniature ponies and aristocrats keep them as symbolic pets to stroke their elitist egos. Or that normal fucking water tastes like peppermint. Virgil hates peppermint.

No, the weirdest thing?

That would be the tiny fairy named Thomas who flies around him, unable to be seen by everyone else, and proudly declared himself as Virgil's guide to finding true love.

Virgil sits on a California sized king bed propped up by a dozen pillows. He wears pajamas made from like, fancy imported spider silk material. Except Virgil asked why the hell someone had dressed him in silk pajamas while he'd been sleeping and a maid looked at him and asked, "What's silk, sir?"

They call it tissle. Virgil isn't sure why, but just the sound of the word pisses him off. He's wearing tissle pajamas, how silly of him.

Of course, the anger came way after the panic. The kind of screeching panic that catapulted him from the ridiculous bed and had him screaming in fright at all of the servants that dared to approach him. And there were quite a few servants too. And they called him "young lord" and tried to calm him down and explained that he had not been kidnapped by rich people but lived here. This was his home. He had fainted in the garden, didn't he remember?

No the fuck he doesn't remember.

"It's to be expected," Thomas the fairy tells him sympathetically. He flits about, trailing glitter out of his butt or whatever. He's got butterfly wings and wears a sparkly tunic getup, and Virgil has tried numerous times to clap his hands at him like he's an annoying mosquito but he keeps getting away.

"What, my life becoming an isikae anime?" Virgil asks petulantly. He's allowed to be a little petulant, given the situation.

Thomas giggles, "No, of course not! That part's a once in a chance lifetime! You're very lucky."

"Look into my eyes and say that again."

"Er, what I meant was that a little memory loss is to be expected from the experience."

"I died. I woke up in a stupid fantasy universe. I've been kidnapped by rich people. What am I not remembering here?"

"Other than all the memories from this alternate reality? Nothing much, you pretty much got it!"

If looks alone could sear the flesh from bones...

Thomas waves his hands and wisely flutters back a foot. "Hey, don't give me that look. I'm just your guide. I didn't select you for soul reassignment."

Virgil honestly growls, "Then who's the bastard responsible for this so I can shove my foot up their ass?"

"Are you always this violent?"

No, not really. Virgil lived a pretty boring, mediocre life before he died. Most days, he'd rather fall down an open manhole than subject himself to confrontation.

He doesn't exactly feel like himself at the moment. The only saving grace is that his body is unchanged. He's got the same terrible pale skin, lanky limbs, and dark bangs that hang in his eyes. Had he woken up as a completely different person... That would have thrust him into madness.

"So what did I do to be so lucky?" Virgil asks, deadpanned.

They're alone in this massive bedroom that could fit his old apartment. It took awhile, but he'd managed to push the servants out the door and barricade it. Now he can talk freely with the buzzing insect and not be seen as crazy. Crazier. Crazier than before, at least

Thomas twirls in the air, and there are tiny golden bells tied around his ankles that chime with the movement. He's brimming with cheer as he explains, "Very few souls receive the honor of soul reassignment. This occurs at the time of passing, when the body can no longer contain the soul. Normally, the person would pass on into the afterlife, but the powers that be decided to give you a second chance!"

"So I need to kick God's ass is what you're saying."

"The powers that be, and no. There will be no kicking of deity booties. This is meant to be a precious boon for those who experienced purpose unfulfilled."

"So because I lived a boring ass life and never had a long time boyfriend or got married or whatever sentimental crap, I'm being subjected to...romance? In an alternate universe? After dying?"

"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up."

Virgil lays down on the bed and cover his head with the blankets. "I'm going to sleep and never waking up."

"Wha– but Virgil! I haven't even told you about your five prospective love interests! They were specifically chosen for you!"

Virgil can hear and feel the fairy thrumming above him. Itty bitty hands tug at his hair to no effect.

"Young lord?" a voice calls beyond the barricadded door. "We sent for a physician and your parents are on their way as well. We're worried for you. Please let us help."

"Fat chance," Virgil seethes and stays in bed out of spite.

-------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Yes the five love interests are the other sides. No I have no current plans to continue this AU. I just wanted to make Virgil suffer. But I can tell you that the story would revolve around Virgil meeting all of the sides, finding himself in cliche romantic situations, and vehemently refusing to fall in love with any of them. The powers that be watch on from above very tiredly. Thomas tries his best to be a literal wingman. Virgil's more interested in finding new things to despise about the fantasy world he now lives in.

[mochiwrites]

I know u said u weren’t sure about including life series since angst and all, but let’s just think of it like silly fun lil games no watchers just Extreme Roleplay and none of the forgetting stuff.

3rd life happens and THATS what convinces the hermits that scarian are horrendously down bad for each other and just physically incapable of flirting in a normal way, — even though the whole monopoly mountain thing is purely because scarian are both over the top dramatic little bastards /pos — so they start trying to brainstorm ways to knock their heads together and get them to confess because “we’ll be in season 30 before those two idiots even try to confess to each other, we must intervene so we can stop watching their painfully obvious yearning”.

And they are just soooooo so so so wrong about everything lmaoo.

a good point has been raised 👀

I think I’m looking at the life series as like… psychologically, this has weight on all of them, right? whether the watchers were involved or not, there’s still some… repercussions that would follow the games in terms of mental states etc etc (you’ve unlocked the psych minor, I’m so sorry for the rambling that’s about to occur)

from like, an in world stand point, the hermits (and empires peeps) are used to living in a world with limitless respawns, right? so now you take those players, and chuck them into a world where hey. your lives aren’t limitless. your deaths have meaning now, so you have to make the most of every life while you can. that alone is going to be something pretty jarring. going from a world where death is something to be shrugged out to a world where you could be permanently taken out by someone you consider a friend? eesh

even from a roleplay stand point (coming from someone who Has done a fan version life game before), the roleplay aspect will still impact them. those deaths and betrayals are still going to leave a mark. and what happens in the games will follow back home. there’s still a very real weight being put on all of them and it’ll be affecting them psychologically

and esp for scar and grian… the life games would be very, very hard on them. the trauma Would still be there to a degree, roleplay or not y’know?

now don’t get me wrong I love the image of these two being dramatic little shits with monopoly mountain LMAO. because it’s very them! but from a narrative standpoint, and as a writer who very carefully considers the emotional impact of something that life altering… I’m leaning toward it just not existing in this universe. at MOST maybe third life, because damn I do love me a pair of husbands trying to conquer the world together WHEEZE

long rambling aside, yeah. yeah the hermits are doing their best but they are so incorrect DBFBFHRGRG

[johannestevans]

My Top 6 Films of 2023

Just some recommendations for my favourite new releases of last year!

Originally published on Cinemania.

2023 had a few knock-out hits as far as the cinema goes — obviously, people were very excited about the respective releases of Barbie and Oppenheimer, but my top films of the year were a bit different.

One thing I do think unites a lot of these — and a trend I hope to see from more films in the next few years — is a trend toward more earnestness and sincerity in scripts and plot lines, and I’m hoping that trend continues!

Without further ado, my top films of 2023:

They Cloned Tyrone (dir. Juel Taylor)

They Cloned Tyrone is a fucking triumph, and hands-down had my favourite costume design of the year — it at the same time feels very vintage in places, calling heavily on the Blaxploitation movies of the 1970s and their aesthetics while at the same time dragging in more modern— and dystopian — futuristic elements throughout. Teyonah Parris is a particular triumph as Yo-Yo, but the whole cast really rocks this whole flick.

This film feels in so many ways like a fever dream, layering disparate elements and tones, and for that is all the more hard-hitting with the horror and painful realism of its cynical central plot.

If you watch a single of the films recommended on this list, make it this one.

Down Low (dir. Rightor Doyle)

This film is weird as fuck, and it makes a lot out of leaning into that. Delving into the ugly reality of down-low hook-ups on gay dating apps and dialing the chaos that can arise from them up to the max, this is a surprisingly heartfelt look at gay loneliness and isolation in the white middle-class US.

It’s fast-paced and kooky with its dialogue — Lukas Gage, of Euphoria fame, co-wrote the script with Phoebe Fisher, and Gage’s particular style of verbose and down-right weird speeches are dotted through it — and while it ultimately ends in the death you know from the beginning is coming, it doesn’t feel like it’s wholly a tragedy.

Dungeons and Dragons: Honour Among Thieves (2023, dir. John Francis Daley & Jonathan Goldstein)

I don’t think I need to go into great detail about this one — Dungeons and Dragons’ newest addition to its array of canons here is a spellbinding and delightful watch. A lot of the problem with fantasy films and TV shows the past few years has been how painfully over-ironic they are, with none of them being able to just lean into their premise and accept that, yes, we’re being a bit silly, and that’s the point! But the DnD movie is just spectacularly earnest and gives itself entirely over to the wonder of its world, and that feels wonderful.

Every time I’ve watched it, which is a few times now, I’ve picked up on new fun world details or little in-jokes, and there are just so many things this film does right and has fun with, most of all making Xenk Yendar even more autistic than ever whilst also making him hot with the Regé-Jean Page casting.

And also, Hugh Grant is here playing a horrible, sleazy bastard of a wizard, and speaking of hot —

Cocaine Bear (dir. Elizabeth Banks)

Must a film be good?

Firstly, isn’t a coked-up horny female bear wreaking havoc and ripping people to shreds enough? And also, even if it wasn’t enough, aren’t so many queer characters going through the weirdest day out ever, girlbosses galore (I’m including the bear), funny as Hell dialogue, and even plot twists enough?

We saw this in the cinema on its release, and it was utterly glorious. Everyone should have the pleasure of seeing the feminist icon of 2023, the cocaine bear (sorry, Barbie), on the biggest screen imaginable, ripping into some hapless gay with full surround sound.

The Boogeyman (dir. Rob Savage)

I normally run along to see any new releases from Rob Savage as I loved Host, and The Boogeyman was so much more than I expected — bearing no resemblance at all to the original lacklustre Stephen King short story, this film really plays so creatively with light and shadow and has an honestly spine-tingling monster design that feels viscerally frightening from its introduction to its final boss battle.

I love it when a film plays with light sources, most of all when good horror does it, and this flick really delivers on that point — not knowing where light is going to come from adds extra tension when you’re trying to see into the shadowy corners, and whether it’s from the lunar nightlight, the videogame flashes, the camera, the fridge, or anywhere else, this film really has this holistic approach to light and shadow that just fucks.

The Pope’s Exorcist (dir. Julius Avery)

Again, must a film be good?

Isn’t it enough to have a coked-up bear —

Okay, I used that line already, but this time it’s Russell Crowe, and he’s doing an Italian accent, and he’s riding a little Vespa, and it’s the funniest and best thing in the world.

Much like the DnD movie, The Pope’s Exorcist really leans into its premise and just goes really earnest about it — it doesn’t take too much time to sardonically comment on the ridiculousness of its own universe, and that makes it feel really fresh compared to a lot of other big studio horror films. It’s silly and stupid and mixes more impressive scares in with the cheap ones, and it’s just a really fun movie to watch with friends.

[themaladaptivewriter12]

Mirai Yuhara and Heartslabyul

Mirai | Ramshackle | Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia | Staff |

c/w: none

------------------------

Ace Trappola

You couldn't tell if the two hated each other or liked each other

One moment they're at each other's throats, and the next moment, they're laying on each other, scrolling through Magicam

Most of their relationships consists of flipping each other off

or constantly jabbing at each other

Ace: "'Sup, Loser" Mirai: "Hey, Moron" Ace: "Bastard" Mirai: "Jerkface" *slappy fight noises can be heard and Riddle's scolding*

They once got in a fight that lasted about a week

The rest of the Freshmen were so annoyed their their moping that Deuce, Jack, Epel, Sebek, and Ortho locked them in a storage closet until the made up

And let's just say things were said, voices were raised, and tears were shed

Partners in crime Ψ( `∀)(∀´ )Ψ

Anything that goes wrong on campus can most likely be traced back to Mirai and Ace

The frogs had been let loose? It was Mirai and Ace. Someone TP'ed the Courtyard? It was Mirai and Ace. There was a brawl between the Freshamn class? It was Mirai and Ace.

Stupid late night convos that sometimes lead to arguments in the morning

Ace: "This you?" *sends a pic of some ugly fish* Mirai: "Nah, but this is you" *sends the ugly pic of Ace he secretly took* Ace: "DELETE THAT NOW!" Mirai: "No" The next day, fighting ensues

Ace Trappola - Dating Mirai Yuhara

Not much changes

Just like above, you can't tell if they're together or not

They're not too public about it

their pet names are any insult they can come up with atm

Although, if you are unlucky, you just might find them in some secluded part of the hall sucking face

They fight often

No it's not healthy, Trey has told them so, but they always bounce back

Their silliness is honestly how they show affection

Ace and Mirai at Basketball practice Ace: "This is for you, Mirai!" *Shoots the ball and proceeds to miss* Mirai: ......凸(`△´＃)

Deuce Spade

Mirai is slow when it comes to his academics as well, so he can relate to Deuce with his academic struggles

they do their hw toghter, but it normally doesn't end well

most of the time they get help from Trey or something

if Deuce is fighting, so is Mirai (((ง’ω’)و三 ง’ω’)ڡ≡　☆⌒ﾐ((x_x)

And sometimes, Mirai is his voice of reason

patches Deuce up if needed

Mirai: "Deuce, we talked about the fighting" Deuce: "I know." Mirai: "At least invite me next time, we can whop 'em together."

grocery shopping buddies because Deuce always gets the best deals

goes to Deuce's track meets to cheer him and Jack on

Mirai also brings snacks

Cheers Deuce up when he's down

especially when Ace is the cause

and Mirai has and will beat Ace for it

Cater Diamond

Has a mega crush on Cater

Likes to try out different trends with Cater

likes to let cater dress him up and give him makeovers for fun

Does best friend quizzes to see what they get

Cater: "It says we're hardly friends." Mirai: "Lies! What my favorite color?" Cater: "Blue" Mirai: "Food?" Cater: "Blueberries" Mirai: "Hobby?" Cater: "Gaming" Mirai: "See, you know me."

Likes accompanying Cater to cafes so he can have the little cakes

Cater is Mirai's most trusted Junior

Let's Cater confide in him with things he's insecure about

Cue the therapy session and the tears

but that's okay, whatever happens in that room, stays in that room

gossip sessions are a must! And there's lots of them

Sleepovers! o(≧▽≦)o

No matter if it's Ramshackle or Heartslabyul, they always have a blast

Cater teaches Mirai how to skateboard

It doesn't go well at first

Mirai likes to tell Cater about the Media back home

anything he can remember he tells

Mirai just loves how fascinated Cater gets when he does

And did I mention the crush?

Cater Diamond - Dating Mirai Yuhara

Mirai has a MAJOR crush on Cater

They are the couple everyone hates!

Because either you envy them

Or you're just plain disgusted at how sappy they are

*Cater running up to hold Mirai in his arms* Cater: "Hey, Baby" *kiss* "My, little muffin" *kiss* "My, Sugarplum" Mirai: "I missed you too, hun" *kiss* Cater: "What do you wanna do, Babydoll?" MIrai: I don't know, but there's this totally hot strawberry blonde that just mig-" Ace: "GET A ROOM!"

Pet names all the time, those are a must!

and so are kisses (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ ) ♡

and hugs and cuddles are a must too!

Always touching somehow ♡ (˘▽˘>ԅ( ˘⌣˘)

In class? Their ankles and intertwined. "At lunch? Their knees are touching. After school? They walk hand in hand.

They don't post much on Magicam, but when they do, Cater likes to keep his followers guessing

They do couples quizzes, do couples trends on Magicam, and wear couples outfits

Anything can be a date!

they move so flawlessly together, it was like it was meant to be!

Trey Clover

Mirai helps a lot with baking

Trey even started to give him pointers

Fingerprints left in the dough

Who knows where they came from? ┐('～`;)┌

Trey: "Prefect?" Mirai: "Yes, Trey?" Trey: "Why is there a fingerprint in my cookie dough?" Mirai: "I don't know" *slowly tries to escape* Trey: "Shall we compare prints then?" Mirai: (⊙_⊙) Trey: ▓▒░(°◡°)░▒▓

Unofficial official batter/dough taster

Trey doesn't mind

Mirai prefers Trey as a study partner

Hes the best at explaining things

and he's patient

and for every right answer, Trey gives Mirai a cookie

Riddle Rosehearts

Mirai finds the second year very pretty

but ofc he won't say it in front of the Heartslabyul Housewarden, lest he wants to lose his head

Again

*Mirai staring at Riddle* Riddle: "It's rude to stare, you know" Mirai: "Did you know you have pretty eyelashes?" Riddle: "I do not!" Mirai: "You do. All of you is pretty!" Riddle: ∑(O_O;) Mirai: (O u O) Riddle: "Off with your head!"

Tea time with Riddle

Mirai likes those moments, because Riddle is always his most relazed

He's more open and himself during those moments

Mirai loves the Unbirthday parties and is happy Riddle always extends an invite

Mirai likes to paint the roses red as well

But he always loses to Riddle at Croquet

But then again, it's not so bad, at least Riddle is happy

---------------------------------

This took way longer than expected, but it's done! You can see who my biases are *Cough* *Cough* Cater and Ace * Cough* *Cough* But I tried to give them all enough content

And as you can see, Mi-Mi is shipped with Ace and Cater. This will be a reoccurring theme with these. All of my faves will get a dating bracket with Mi-Mi!

Anyways, stay tuned for my next part, Savanaclaw!

[orcboxer]

Do you have any of your own recommendations for choicescript/interactive fiction? Your game was pretty much my entry point for choicescript and I'd love to find more

Oh yeah! So it won't come as a surprise to anyone who's played ORCS RPG but my favorite choicescript games tend to be the crunchier ttrpg-inspired kind. I won't get super in depth about it but suffice to say I prefer a high amount of interactivity. (also I'm gonna mention up front that all of these are ongoing series, none of which have wrapped up as of yet)

My current favorite is Breach: The Archangel Job, by Michael Maxwell and Ben Luigi, a heist thriller where you join a crime organization called The Archangels and well, you do heists. There's a ton of customization, lots of characters, a dice rolling mechanic, and even cheat codes if you like playing around with those. It's very high-energy, very silly, and you can play as almost entirely nonverbal if you want and nobody minds, which is a massive plus for me, as someone with selective mutism. I would love to see more choicescript games like this one, it makes great use of the medium, and I hope it sets some lasting trends in that regard, if I'm being fully honest. Also you get to design and wear your own special crime mask, and masks are badass. I love not having a face.

My second favorite is Zombie Exodus: Safe Haven, by Jim Dattilo, which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like, a zombie survival game. I don't even normally like zombie stories, but this one kicks ass. Again, high customization, dozens of characters with their own arcs, a big inventory system, lots of exploration, crafting and shelter-building mechanics, it's buckwild how much stuff is piled into this game. This one started years ago and it continues to be one of the all time greats in terms of gameplay. I'm very much looking forward to Part 4.

If you prefer a less crunchy experience with higher emphasis on storytelling, may I direct you to the singular exception to my "don't talk to me about superheroes" rule -- Fallen Hero: Rebirth, by Malin Rydén. In this one, you play as a former hero who has decided to become a villain. Your power is telepathy, and my god, telepathy can be terrifying. The storytelling is incredible, and the massive sequel, which dropped this year, did not disappoint. This one dips into some very dark waters, particularly in regards to identity and depression and trauma, but it is also an exceptionally cathartic experience. I know this one is popular because I've seen folks taggin posts as "sidestep" in my activity feed.

Another story-based one with minimal crunch, and somehow the first fantasy genre game I've mentioned: I, the Forgotten One, by John Louis. I actually should have put this one before Fallen Hero because I am still reeling from how much I loved this one. You play as the Marshal, bastard child of the late king. Long ago disinherited and sent off to die in a bloody war that failed to kill you, you now find yourself in the unenviable position of not only delivering news of the king's death to a court that despises you, but also having to take up your sword to defend them all from a second war that is being waged against them by one of your old trusted comrades. And you are, unfortunately, incredibly good at your job. This is a story about trauma and violence and the horrors of war, and it is so, so, so good. Again, it touches on some very dark topics, so be mindful of the content warnings. But this one drew me in like a gotdam riptide, I could not put it down. Can't recommend it highly enough.

[pinkprimrose05]

character asks bc other anon was a coward: blade

HAJFTOVNWHYFAGDYSDNTJ

General opinion/How much I care about them: Ren Blade Yingxing my beloved beloathed depressed miserable angsty bastard aaaaaaa-

This man, oh my god. This edgy mess is somehow the second fastest blorbo to be coined as such in my blorbo-having history, and I think that alone says a lot. But even if not, he has his special little spot for being: 1) my first HSR fave, 2) my current main (the gameplay is ridiculously fun holy shit), and 3) the reason I downloaded the game at all (shoutout to Bronya, of course, but it was mainly Ren).

Also I really like the fact that he's genuinely batshit insane. An unapologetic menace to the galaxies. He can be so unhinged and evil sometimes, and that's a new flavor of fave in my collection. Did I mention the story doesn't try to redeem him at all? Because it's true! Extremely uncommon win on the hyv writers' part there; doubly so because they manage to balance this aspect with the subtle gap moe they love to give to all their stoic characters.

Yes. Ren is simultaneously edginess incarnate and a tired grandpa that sucks with words and doesn't know shit about technology. Oh and he keeps getting roped into Situations by his colleagues- and goes along with them all the time! The dude was literally asked to pose for a movie cover and he just. did that. No questions asked. Nothing.

I care about him a very normal amount. He's so neat and- oh my god I forgot to mention the aesthetic. Black/blue/red/gold is such a banger color scheme. He also has a spider lily motif and that looks very cool! And the pretty ribbon on the back of his coat is a 10/10 design choice. His only problem is that the game keeps forgetting to edit his silly beta design sneakers out of splash art, and that the washed out jeans clash hard with the coat. But otherwise? Perfection. I could (and did) stare at him for hours on end.

A ship I love: Kafblade is one of those pairs that you can read as romantic or platonic with equal efficacy and I love that for it. They're partners in crime! There's a great sense of trust and faith between them! They're each other's guardian and tether and the one who understands them best and they're such an awesome dynamic, good lord.

Honorable mention goes to jingren for the old man yaoi potential to take the relationship in a very (bitter)sweet or very sad way. There's something to be explored here and I wish canon could give it consideration someday.

A non-romantic relationship that I love: Stellaron Hunter agenda!!! They're so awesome individually and as a group, and the comedy is just lovely. You have Ren wrangling two terribly reckless women because in some way, by some miracle, he happens to be the braincell holder among the three. You have him trailing after Kafka on one of her shopping sprees with a whole bunch of bags and coats, you have him going to an arcade with Silver Wolf because she wanted to show him this brand new game she's been talking about nonstop for four days, and you have him in an impromptu shooting session with them both because they wanted to make silly movie covers and needed an extra actor.

They're one small hilarious family and I adore them so so much, you have no idea. Can't wait until Sam and Elio make an appearance in the story so I get more fuel for shenanigans.

The NOTP: None here sir, as long as the ship is normal it's fine by me.

My biggest headcanon about them: Ren is autistic and you will pry this hc from my cold, dead hands. He's stuck in his own head 80% of the time. He doesn't do conversation at all. Back when he was still Yingxing, he used to spend so much time at the forge when inspiration struck him, to the point of tuning out everything until his friends physically dragged him out to touch grass. He's an autistic nerd through and through, and even several thousand deaths can't take that from him.

An idea for a fanfiction I would like to write/read about them: One idea I've been curious about lately is what would happen in a roleswap scenario, where the Astral Express crew find Ren before the Stellaron Hunters do. He may not make for a great archivist, his state of mind may be less-than-stellar, but it's interesting to imagine the dynamics between him and the crew- and hey, who doesn't love taking sad guys out of situations for a change?

I'm filing this concept for later, just in case. Who knows? The writing ghost visits when I least expect it.

Something that makes me think of them: Everything these days The flute, the sound of wind blowing, red spider lilies, and -to the immense detriment of my composure in public- mentions of the word blade in any context ever. Why gee, thanks for permanently altering my brain chemistry.

[amazingmsme]

thinking about Curt getting absolutely destroyed in a mock interrogation by his sadistic ass partner rn. Curt will not back down to something so “childish” and Owen is not letting him up easy, that’s for sure. Poor guy is not getting out of this one but no one said he was having a bad time either lol

I just like to think of them having fun and being silly (albeit kinda intense, that’s just their vibe tho lmao). Hope ur doing well!

THIS IS LITERALLY ME RN OK I AM SO NOT NORMAL ABOUT THEM!

Still can’t fucking believe our first impression of these guys comes from a mock interrogation that ended with tickling. They’re fucking iconic, none of us are on their level. We WISH we were, but we aren’t

I stand by my claim that Curt only “caved” so quickly is because there was someone else in the room & he still had to finish the job, so they couldn’t play around as much as they’d like

The stars aligned perfectly so we could have a canon tickle interrogation scene with the gay spies. (Ok but I’m giving all of them the hard side eye because yeah this scene maybe a coincidence, but tickle me wiggly??? Is there something they’re trying to tell us??? Dear god do they know???) it’s so cute & silly & way more flustering than it has any right to be! Like the way he slowly pulled the feather out from his jacket, bitch do that again & see what happens! I will just blush & curl into a ball

But that is literally canon, Curt doesn’t want to break under Owen’s torture anyway, so he absolutely refuses to give him the satisfaction of making him crack from something as stupid & silly as tickling. Like the longest he’s lasted is around 4 or 5 hours ok the man is STUBBORN! & Owen loves taking his sweet ass time with Curt, & he really shows no mercy. Downright ruthless bastard & that’s the way we like him!

Hng I really should write more interrogation fics with them, they go hard

& I’m doing good, thanks for asking! Hope you’re doing good too!

[ramblesandwrting]

Misfits and masked random hcs

okay so- this is just me rambling about my lethal company employee crew and a masked (Venice) and his army of converted freinds. Enjoy!

Crew: -Halt isn’t actually the strongest of the group, no that is Lucky. Lucky can hold up the highest amount of weight and be fine, but he can not swing a weapon at all, hence why Halt ended up being the battle master. 

-Watcher has a missing finger on his left hand. 

-Lucky can juggle and has used this strength as a way to distract hoarding bugs…and once a nutcracker. That nutcracker was very impressed by the juggling skills it just-kinda forgot it was gonna kill him. 

-Hoarding bugs really like newbie. Like-they will happily swarm around his feet and chitter with glee. None of them have figured out why. Lucky has taken to calling Newbie “The yippie king”.

-Halt once fist fought a braken- and won after like 20 minutes. -Newbie gets common night-terrors, and has woken up his crew at least 7 times by screaming.- it has been found the best way to comfort the shaken lad after one of these is for all four of them to make a blanket fort out of whatever materials they have at the time and tell either ghost stories (Horror is oddly calming to him) or funny stories about silly workplace shenanigans. 

-Halt actually loves the sound of the jester’s music box, as she has always enjoyed music boxes since she was a little girl.

-Watcher gives the best hugs, followed closely by lucky, then newbie, and finally halt. Not to say hugs from halt aren’t nice- but she has popped many backs on accident before. 

-the ghost girl loves screwing around with newbie. She has yet to cause him any harm...but she has on multiple occasions given him a heart attack because she was close enough he could pat her head.

-Baboon hawks are terrified of halt- even in groups, she just gives off the bad vibes to them. 

-Masked…Masked are just-drawn to Halt. She-She’s a friend, she’s Their friend- but she’s broken, she’s hurt- they can fix her! They can save her!! She just needs to stop fighting Back!! It’s just like- it’s just a hug! Please- Please just let us help you….you can hear us, you hear our tongue while it normally falls on deaf ears, why won’t you Listen??? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Venice and his Masquerade: -First off: The idea for a group of masked being called a masquerade came from (This Post) and I loved it so I added it into my vocabulary. 

-Venice- has been called “A clever bastard” more times than he can count- a few times in languages he didn’t recognize but the tone was similar enough he knew what it meant. 

-A masked’s host body has been altered to be able to refill it’s body weight and height with blood for it to use as defense and creating new friends. This added with the death of the host nervous system is part of why these are so hard to take down. -Masked have a silent, perhaps telepathic, link to one another that counts as their language. Words and emotions are the same thing to them, touch and tone have the same meaning…and masked whisper to the employees, trying to explain to them that this was not death, not erasing of their minds, but instead freedom from stress, and hurt, and worry- and a welcomed embrace to warmth, company, happiness- Love.  

-Venice was originally a normal masked- but through the years he’s changed into a larger and more “Stable” masked. This change is thought to have happened due to the constant supply of new resources he was able to intact, which stopped the decaying process of killing the body and let his nervous system fully replace the one of his host, altering not just the blood and blood production, but the flesh itself. 

-Venice loves, LOVES hugs. Short hugs, side hugs, big hugs, bear hugs, sleepy hugs, cuddling- all forms of hugs and he will happily cling onto the body that offers it. 

-Venice loves dressing up and dolling up his new friends. Their little personal moon must have either been the home to a very fancy person or maybe a place where theater was performed, because the amount of clothing is extreme. After their conversion, Venice will lead his new friends to the back and help them pick out accessories that they enjoy, just as a way to give them all a bit of flavor. Those suits all the employee’s wear are so boring and bland….and it honestly makes him a bit sad to see how dehumanized they are in those things.

-Venice and his family have fully taken over their moon, slaying all the creatures around them, be it hoarding bugs to Giants, all have fallen at his command. 

-with just about a masquerade of 150- and growing!- Venice has made one of the large rooms of their manor home into a “Nesting” location, where all the soft furniture like couches, beds, pillows, blankets, ect. Have been moved and set up. Every night, the group moves into that room and pairs up with at least 2 other masked to snuggle and cuddle with as they slip off to sleep. -Venice is a brilliant mind- and realized that why the employee’s even come down to the moon for scrap, and the more scrap there is, the more people will show up, the more friends he can make. And as such, Venice will wait until their is either no one on the ship or that person has been turned, have two or three of the other masks hold onto one of the remaining crew while turning the rest, and stealing whatever that crew had off their ship, adding it to the ever increasing pile of net worth this planet has. 

-Venice doesn’t like it when new friends escape- that isn’t how this was supposed to go, they were supposed to become a part of their family! To join the cuddle piles at night, to be hugged and nuzzled and dressed up…

-Venice feels like he has so many loving, wonderful friends, and most of the rest of his masquerade is perfectly happy with the numbers they have…..but he just- he wants more. He wants more friends, he yearns for more one sided hugs that they try to wiggle away from, he wants more slow realizations of how bad their situation is to cross the eyes of the employee unlucky enough to find them first….he wants to feel the tension leave each new friends shoulders as the mask takes away their pain and regret, leaving them soft and warm and happy….Why stop when there are always so many new friends to make out there?

[manofmanymons]

I have concluded, based on an incredibly small sample size, that Ryo x Minoru is not too weird to talk about on tumblr dot com, and that at least one other human being on the face of home, planet earth, not only tolerates but ships it as well.

So I'm gonna be annoying about them for a minute!

I think they're cute as hell! I constantly think about the fact that in non truthful routes, Ryo takes Minoru's teasing to mean that he hates him, but in the truthful route he knows Minoru's antics are his way of cheering him up! + Minoru getting embarrassed about getting called out for it is silly and adorable!

I totally hc that over time they do just have a very specific dynamic with each other that only they understand. Minoru bullies Ryo and Ryo calls him a dick but really that's just their version of "hey how ya doin" "alright"

If Minoru's not messing with him, Ryo will check in and make sure he's okay. If Ryo is ever quiet and doesn't snap back, Minoru will check to see if he's okay.

Except the catch is that literally none of their friends have picked up on this. They all just think "why does Minoru always single out Ryo to pick on" and "Wow Ryo really can't stand Minoru, can he?"

They're genuinely considering talking to those two about their behavior and getting to the bottom of why they hate each other in hopes of getting them to get along better, only for them to rock up to the next friend hangout like "so we're dating now."

Everyone has the most overexaggerated sitcom-esque "WHAT" moment. Except Miu and Kaito who gave up on understanding other human beings so long ago that nothing can surprise them anymore and they're just like "oh cool congrats." Saki is surprised at first but very quickly is like "ohhhh that's why Ryo never shuts up about Minoru." She thought he was just complaining about him a lot but no that idiot had a crush the WHOLE time.

Oh oh oh hc that like on the first day or so of camp, when they first becoming friends, Minoru and Takuma were just talkin about boy stuff, and at some point they got on the topic of like "What's your type?" And Minoru with 0 hesitation was like "definitely a hot girl who's calm and gentle and would want a guy like me to take care of her" while picturing some classic comic book damsel in distress (delusional teen boy moment).

And now finally, FINALLY Takuma can make fun of Minoru for something. Minoru goes too far sharing an embarrassing thing Takuma did at school and Takuma just interrupts him like HEY WANT ME TO TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND WHAT YOU SAID YOUR IDEAL SIGNIFICANT OTHER WOULD BE

And it shuts him right up ksksnf

Minoru is the only person other than Saki that knows that Ryo only actually means "leave me alone" about 20% of the time, and the rest of the time that just means "I'm not feeling great but don't want to/don't know how to talk about it" and will do the OPPOSITE of leaving him alone (coming over to keep him company).

MINORU BEFRIENDING RYO'S DAD BY MAKING DAD JOKES. RYO IS SUFFERING KSJSKDN

Boyfriend who doesn't talk much x boyfriend who won't shut the fuck up beloved dynamic

Once in a rare while Minoru gets a little overwhelming for Ryo to deal with, but he never takes it personally. He knows his bf loves him, he can just only take so much LOUD at a time. He has other friends he can hand out with while Ryo is in recharge mode.

...Minoru taking advantage of no longer being a single pringle to torment his friends with the "no bitches" meme. The first time Ryo is the one to send it in chat, everyone is like "NOOOO THE MINORUFICATION OF OUR BELOVED RYO HAS FINALLY HAPPENED, IT'S RYOVER."

Bc that's how youths today talk, I believe. /hj

Ryo...surprisingly sappy. Minoru thinking he'd have to remind him of their anniversary only to show up at his place and immediately have flowers shoved in his face. RIP Saki and Shuuji for being the main victims of Ryo talking about Minoru for an hour. The bastard can pretend to be totally normal about his bf in front of the others, but those two know the truth. He is very strategic about NOT telling Takuma jackshit. Both because he's a respectful little lad and knows that there are some things no one wants to know about their best friend, and because he doesn't trust Takuma not to share any cheesy thing he might say with Minoru.

Minoru, surprisingly, also doesn't tell Takuma too much in the way of his love life. School life, home life, fandom life, sure. Love life? Absolutely not. Too much of a "that's not the kinda thing guys talk about" guy.

Famous last sentiments before Takuma becomes an annoying guy who won't shut up about his own bf 24/7 but that's beside the point

I think neither of them would be big on pda. They both get embarrassed too easy. Even then they're dating Ryo still calls Minoru a jerk. Minoru increases the frequency of which he obnoxiously calls Ryo "senpai." They are both, however, allergic to petnames.

Minoru tried saying "sweetie" once at Takuma's behest, and Ryo made him swear to NEVER do that again.

..despite being too embarrassed to hold his hand or kiss him in public, Minoru WILL make random excuses to touch his bf. Stupid things like "your headband was crooked" or "there was an eyelash on your face."

I don't have a good conclusion to this post, just know that I think about them a lot.

[theomnicode]

Coming of Age; The lessons in immortality and moral high grounding

The longest meta often starts with the tiniest thing.

One thing in Cosmic Garou's design is an interesting one to note.

Long ears.

It's not only demonic, but elvish as well.

It is by no means accidental, because elves who in popular culture posses such long ears, often denote long life, vitality and immortality.

I'd like to borrow something I found from quora, from Douglas Adam's Hitchiker's guide to galaxy. An answer to question:

Do the Elves in Tolkien’s mythos ever go insane from living too long? Do any of them resent being immortal?

I think this topic is covered very nicely in Douglas Adams' book “Life, the Universe and Everything - Wikipedia ”, the third book in his five book trilogy “The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy”: Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged was-indeed, is - one of the Universe's very small number of immortal beings. Those who are born immortal instinctively know how to cope with it, but Wowbagger was not one of them. Indeed he had come to hate them, the load of serene bastards. He had had his immortality thrust upon him by an unfortunate accident with an irrational particle accelerator, a liquid lunch and a pair of rubber bands. The precise details of the accident are not important because no one has ever managed to duplicate the exact circumstances under which it happened, and many people have ended up looking very silly, or dead, or both, trying. Wowbagger closed his eyes in a grim and weary expression, put some light jazz on the ship's stereo, and reflected that he could have made it if it hadn't been for Sunday afternoons, he really could have done. To begin with it was fun, he had a ball, living dangerously, taking risks, cleaning up on high-yield long-term investments, and just generally outliving the hell out of everybody. In the end, it was the Sunday afternoons he couldn't cope with, and that terrible listlessness which starts to set in at about 2.55, when you know that you've had all the baths you can usefully have that day, that however hard you stare at any given paragraph in the papers you will never actually read it, or use the revolutionary new pruning technique it describes, and that as you stare at the clock the hands will move relentlessly on to four o'clock, and you will enter the long dark teatime of the soul. So things began to pall for him. The merry smiles he used to wear at other people's funerals began to fade. He began to despise the Universe in general, and everyone in it in particular.

"So, Elves, having been created immortal, would live happily in Valinor until the end of time. Humans, if they had been granted their wish of immortality, wouldn’t know how to cope with it."

Elves are naturally immortal; like the Ainur, they are bound to Arda until its End. Elves are immune to all diseases, and they can recover from wounds which would normally kill a mortal Man.[1]:218-9

Nonetheless, Elves can be physically slain or die of grief and weariness.

Saitama denotes all the signs of immortality as well, yet his body is still human, because he stubbornly clings to his humanity. And so his body is still capable of dying.

So in this, Garou's story and one of the themes in OPM is a coming-of-age, where Garou matures enough to realize the cost of attaining such power and takes responsibility for his actions.

Of growing and becoming an old and weary soul, of having your loved ones die before you.

That's why he chose to not remain so and chose to go out in his own terms and not linger around trying to find redemption. Otherwise he'd just become insane.

Humans, when immortality is thrust on them, would not know how to cope with it. There is one being that would know this fact better than anybody else. The one who imposed those limits on humankind.

Yet said being is actually already dead but stubbornly clinging to a human-resembling form and takes the identities and forms of other people because it has none of it's own. Or perhaps it resents itself and so hides behind a facade.

Makes you think who could have killed such a being and locked it away behind a dimensional barrier. If not himself.

So in the cruellest way possible, Future Garou learned an important lesson; not to dabble with powers he does not know to justify being moral police. The consequences are too severe.

That's why he only got a mere fraction of the power and why he was allowed to go out on his own terms. So the lesson will stick harder when it becomes apparent that he's not out of the woods yet. Because he's definitely not allowed to live a long life no or become immortal in the mortal world.

OPM God could have taken his life, yet he did not.

We're really making assumptions here that how long Garou spent touching God's hand is the reason why he got only a small portion of his powers imparted to him.

Instead of OPM God choosing to only impart him with a small fraction.

Or that the gesture itself is entirely meaningless in the grand scheme of things; that the true meaning of taking God's hand is accepting, wanting help and willingness to take that power and touching the hand makes the contract more binding when the person is manipulated to follow through with thinking of it as moral obligation.

It's not like he has to tell them what to do with the power, after all, their own moral code will make certain that they do exactly as he emotionally manipulates them to confidently act.

Like a puppet chessmaster, the space moral police lawyer. Also known as Advocate.

They'd still be a puppet, even if they have free will, when they get manipulated into thinking that they can justify their current actions. And why such manipulation is so hard to shake off by telling them they're being controlled, because their own hard convictions lead them on.

Being able to take the moral high ground, when one has so many problems with society's moral values and everyone else's values one deem bad, is a helluva drug indeed.

(Nice parallel btw)

If it's not apparent, Garou is not the only one who got taught an important lesson that will stick.

Don't take the moral high ground and flaunt that power imbalance. The consequences are too severe. The resulting ignorance and superiority complex are not worth it.

Being able to justify anything one does on the cognitive side is only fooling oneself into becoming a hypocrite.

Consider using heart and empathy instead.

--

So what did we learn about chasing and gaining power, attaining immortality and moral high grounding?

Fucking Don't. Don't fucking do it. Because at the end of the day, people still have to accept responsibility for their own actions if they're to be an actual mature person. Physically and mentally.

The higher moral ground one takes, the harder will be the fall when one slips off the edge.

Oh and the inner critic, Big Brother, is watching, with a magnifying glass in hand.

--

(Funny how your own metas make you sound like a bloody hypocrite huh? There is a lot of power in written and spoken words too. It certainly does make one consider. That's how you know ONE's writing is super-effective. Preach.)

Edit: You know it's kind of creepy when I write this shit for multiple hours, post and then I come back and see ONE has posted an omake in Mob Psycho about the same fucking thing.

Well, I fucking guess I'm on the right track with the theme he wants to tell ppfpfpf. Preaching without action or empathy is just being a dumbass hypocrite.

[vitrines]

small au!guqqie drabble for twb mcc

wrote this for bingo, decided it's not quite up to my ao3 standards but still wanted to share it!

about 800 words, warnings for depersonalization

--

   It’s not like people with no origin were out of the ordinary. 

   It was a community of stragglers, after all. A mix-up of people from the road, whoever managed to stumble across these lands. Some had tails, fur, glowing eyes or any manner of strange features. Some particularly annoying members had horns, dark and carved against their foreheads, and smiles like a fox’s eyes from ground level in the forest, far from home and late at night. 

   And it was probably normal that for the life of them, Guqqie could not tell you how they got here.

   Life is long, okay? It’s been a long while since they settled here, and longer still since they found the place. In fact, before an eye-opening conversation a week ago with previously mentioned irritating demon, Guqqie simply assumed that none of their friends here remembered their past.

   Aimsey had blinked at them, twice, then three more times, and asked if they wanted to see a doctor, with a previously unheard level of concern in his voice. But Guqqie didn’t think any doctor could help them. (This conclusion was partially aided by the fact that they didn’t have any doctors, nor any people Guqqie was exactly eager to let near their face with sharp objects.)

   “I don’t need to know,” Guqqie had protested, standing their ground in front of the enchantment table (which Aimsey was trying to steal again, the bastard.) Aimsey had let out something that was either a squawk or a laugh.

   “You bloody well do,” he’d said. “Your past is extremely important. Imagine if I didn’t know where I came from?” He’d shuddered. But Guqqie had felt backed into a corner, and tired, and trapped by Aimsey’s insistent gaze.

   “You and me are different people,” they had snapped, grabbing at the enchantment table and running away before they had to see Aimsey’s face fall.

   That’s the issue with Aimsey. He does things, and Guqqie stops him, and he gets this kicked puppy look that gives Guqqie the silly, stupid urge to just let him do the damn thing. That would not hold. And he is doing it on purpose. 

   God, they can’t stand him.

   But the demon had a point. Because Guqqie was sleepwalking, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot, always a mystery. And they couldn’t figure out why. This had been fine, at first, if a bit inconvenient and counterproductive to their landscaping. Really. Whichever entity was disrupting their sleep should learn how to match colors. And then several months had passed, and Guqqie’s life had flipped over in several directions, leaving them wobbly on their feet and more than a little enamored by that same demon. It also left blood on their hands, and a sickly sweet taste in their mouth.

   Wallowing in despair was no good. (They’d tried that, for a few days, before giving up.) Guqqie had to know why. And so, with a hollow, jagged heart, they followed the hated trails of flowers, and they found a lab, hidden deep underground, and they found papers and test tubes and tanks of water that served no apparent purpose. The most important part was the paper sealed away in a document stuffed behind the filing cabinet. Their name, with a piece of code tied directly to them, and at the second line in big red letters the word CLONE. 

   This whole time, Guqqie had been trying to find themself. There was no self to find. They were not even their own whole person. Just an old cicada shell, hoping and wanting and fucking up a life that was not theirs. 

   And now they’d lost the only person who loved them for them. And the trust of those who cared for them. All because the body’s real owner was playing some twisted game.

   The floor of the lab is cold, and dirty, and not in Guqqie’s top ten list of places to sob uncontrollably, but it’s not as if they have other options. Their hands catch on the floor, cracking and breaking where the tiles are jagged and quickly laid. Were there others out there like them? Were those others successful and happy?

   Was it only them who was unworthy?

   Should have known. Too good to be true. And you are not good enough for this life, for this body, for these people. 

   You are just a copy. And that is all you will ever be.

   One day, they had dreamed of climbing the tallest tree, the highest tower, clambering over logs and ladder rungs, striving and striving for perfection. Seeing the universe and the world below laid out before them. Reaching out to touch the stars. It would have felt like a reunion. 

   Now you know: you are tethered to the ground. So it goes.

[kiruamon]

Part 20

"Want to know a secret?" Quietly and almost in a conspiratorial manner, Damien heard Oz's voice in his head. Curious, he looked up at his classmate. A secret? Well, of course! "You betcha! Hurry up and spill it out!," he replied with a grin. Surely it would be something silly. Oz's favorite actor or actress. Some hobby that he felt embarrassed about, even though it most likely didn't have to be. After all, Damien already knew what a big comic nerd Oz was. Or how much he loved ranting about books and other weird stuff. Or maybe he was about to tell him that he had secretly broken into someone's house to give them back their lost wallet instead of keeping it. No matter how silly this secret would be, Damien still wanted to hear it. And he would try not to laugh too much when Oz revealed it to him. Or at least he wouldn't laugh at him for it.

"Okay. So… look at me closely," Oz said, pointing a finger at his face and waiting for his little friend to follow his request as well. Hopefully it wouldn't scare him too much. On the other hand, he had a good feeling about it. Animals had the tendency to either avoid him altogether from the start or not care about his presence like Pip did. So since the little hedgehog fell into the second category, it would surely go well.

Huh? Was this going to be a magic trick or something? Anyway, Damien nodded and watched with interest the face of the gesturing nerd sitting on the floor in front of him.

Oz held his hands in front of his face as if he wanted to play peek-a-boo with a toddler. No turning back now. The personification of fear moved his hands back to his cheeks, giving the little creature a good view of his face again. "Surprised?"

What in the name of all the goddamn lords of hell was that! Damien couldn't help but stare in shock at the opening cracks that had opened up in Oz's face. For a moment his brain simply froze. It was impossible to process this image before him. Long, jagged lines emanating a glistening white light, and interrupted by shreds of black skin, stretched across the normally mouthless area of the shadowy monster in front of him. It was as if a hyperactive child had scribbled on Oz's face with a white marker. But whatever he was looking at was moving. And… formed into… a sheepish smile.

Damien blinked and slowly - very slowly - he understood. Oz had a mouth. It was as if his whole world was standing upside down. There was a mouth. In the middle of Oz's face. And Oz used it to smile at him. Insecure and a little nervous. "I hope it doesn't scare you… " "No! No… it doesn't." It didn't scare him and as if to prove it, he took a step closer, still unable to avert his eyes for even a second. It was just a bit unusual. He was so used to reading the small changes in Oz's mood from his eyes that it was almost hard for him to embrace this new look. But only almost. Oh damn. His heart was pounding like crazy. The little bookworm looked so forbidden cute. Oz had an actual mouth. A mouth he could kiss. That he would totally kiss! Well… …as long as Oz agreed to it.

"We'll keep this between us, okay?" he heard his classmate's soft voice in his head. Oz's mouth didn't move to match the words, the former demon prince noticed. He would have loved to ask his classmate a dozen questions about it, but he knew none of them would be answered. Someday Damien would ask him. "Count on me," the answer followed without any hesitation. Oz's secret was safe with him! And if he had to take it to the grave! Well, to the grave of every bastard who found out about it. He would definitely walk over corpses for Oz. Then again… he usually already did that regularly out of sheer boredom between class breaks. And probably the sight of a bunch of real corpses would stress Oz out quite a bit. Anyway, he was rambling! And for now, it was probably enough to prove to this far too sweet-natured monster in front of him that he could keep a secret.

"Hey, Pip?" "Yeah?" "What do you think about a trip to the park?"

_

With a wild cackle, Damien jumped through another group of pigeons, which like a bunch of frightened, headless chickens flew off in all kinds of different directions away from him. He could do this for hours! With an euphoric grin, the troublemaker turned his head around to see if he could find any more of those flying rats to chase around. Meanwhile, Oz was sitting in a meadow some distance away, smiling as he watched his brave adventures. Stupidly, all those cowards had moved out of his reach into the trees! "Get the hell back down here and face me like real men!" Damien yelled at the unimpressed looking balls of feathers from the foot of the tree. But the dumb animals made no effort to follow his request even in the slightest. Hmph, so much for that… And what now? Searching, the prince looked around for a new worthy opponent or a fun-promising activity when his gaze fell on something nearby.

"Is this for me?" Bewildered, Oz looked at the flower with which Pip had rushed to him and that the little hedgehog was now holding out to him in his snout. Even more surprised, the entity realized that Pip was doing it again. The hedgehog nodded in response to his question. At first Oz had thought it was mere coincidence when the little critter nodded at him or shook his head as a reply to one of his questions, but slowly he began to doubt it. Pip was smart enough to understand him! And not only him, when he thought back to how the little one had reacted to certain remarks of his friends. Even if he didn't know to what degree this understanding went… it was still absolutely amazing. Gently, Oz accepted the clover blossom and looked back and forth from it to his little friend in turn. Even if Pip did understand him… it wouldn't change much, he realized. "Thank you so much," smiling softly, he stroked his thumb across his little charmer's soft cheek, whereupon the spiky creature nuzzled its head against his fingers. Pip remained Pip and therefore his friend. And nothing would change that.

"It seems we had the same idea, because… I have something for you, too." And with that, Oz let Acarophobia hand him the daisy they'd picked during Pip's little expedition and placed it between the spikes of his cute companion. "With this, you look even cuter~"

"Jeez. How many times have I told you not to call me cute?" Would Oz never learn? And yet he couldn't hide his glee over the compliment. "For always acting so innocent, you're quite the heartbreaker."

_

"You were right. He really is much smarter than normal animals. No wonder he wasn't interested in the toys from the pet store." "Yeah, I didn't think so much of it at first either. But… it does explain a lot." At least when he thought back to how their little guest had refused to do certain things in some ways from the beginning. "Maybe he came from a research facility. You know the ones where they breed those super smart animals," Vicky suggested excitedly. "Hmmm… maybe." It was a possibility. "Or maybe his species is so intelligent by default," after all, he still hadn't been able to find any information about horned hedgehogs. "Oh! Oh! Or it's like that movie! You know, the one with the turtles and the rat!" "I… don't think he's a mutant, do you?" "Well, if you want, I could run some tests on him?" Oz thought about that option, but then shook his head. "I don't like to stress him out with something like that after he's finally started trusting us." Maybe someday, but for now it seemed too soon for him to try such things. "Anyway, thanks for putting together an extra controller for him," after all, Pip was having quite some fun with the game from the looks of it. "No problem!" interjected Vicky with a cheerful grin, gently nudging her friend before looking over at the little hedgehog, who was visibly concentrating, hammering his tiny paws on the pad's large buttons. "I bet he plays Smash Sisters better than you." With raised eyebrows and feigned indignation, Oz looked at his giggling friend. "Hey. What's that supposed to mean?" "That I think Pip would win against you." "You don't have any faith in me, do you?" Oz was sure he'd still win against someone who didn't have thumbs! Vickly giggled next to him. "Then come on and let's find out!"

"I can't believe it." In disbelief, Oz stared at the result on the screen in front of him. Third. He heard a thud as Vicky beside him dropped backwards onto the floor, laughing. "We lost!" he heard her exclaim, giggling loudly, while he still couldn't quite believe it. His eyes wandered to Pip, who was proudly thrusting his tiny chest forward and looking at him with the grin of a victor. He really had lost. That was… that was so…. Oz had to put a hand over his non-showing mouth, but could already hear the phobias on his shoulders and legs starting to giggle softly before he couldn't hold back any longer either and joined in their laughter. It took quite a while for him and Vicky to calm down from their laughing fit. Beside him, she sat up again and looked at both him and Pip while her eyes were shining with excitement. "How about a rematch?" asked Vicky, grinning broadly. Oz looked down at Pip. They nodded to each other and started a new round.

_

Damien, with spikes raised and scowling, has been hissing at a banana for over ten minutes.

Oz: "He really doesn't seem to like bananas." Brian: "In that way, he reminds me of a certain maniacal someone at our school… Remember the incident with LaVey?" Oz: "The… oh. Oh… yeah… that… incident… " Brian: "The guy who tried to interfere in that ridiculous fight is still not back from the hospital." Oz: "Damien can really be quite scary sometimes… " Brian: "Well, things have quieted down a lot since he's been absent." Oz: "Is there still no one who knows what's going on with him?" Brian: "I don't think so." Oz: "And his parents?" Brian: "Heard they are on a two-week campaign through the multiple circles of hell and that's why the school couldn't reach them. Maybe he's with them, just preparing for his future succession or something." Oz: "…yes, it's probably just that. Still, I would feel better if… O-o-oh no! Pip, stop!"

Oz had to give Damien, who had driven his sharp teeth and small claws with absolute disgust, deep into his yellow opponent, a thorough bath in the aftermath of his small friends monumental battle.

_

Later that evening.

"So, how's my little champ?" asked Oz with a smile when Pip was finally clean and dry again.

"Great. But you really need to practice more if you want to stand a serious chance against me," the victorious prince chuckled to himself.

"Today was quite an exciting day." They had made some interesting discoveries today.

"Hmm… yeah it was alright." If Oz found that exciting already, what would the shy boy think if he took him on one of his usual tours one day? He'd have to take good care of his little nerd then. Couldn't let anything happen to Oz, after all. But for now, Damien just closed his eyes a little and let himself be cuddled a little more.

Bonus Round: Colored little (not so angry) hedgehog prince

To be continued.